#just gotta wallow in it and pull back

[cinnabuntastic]

Ever feel like you could just. Straight up stop saying anything in a community you're in and nobody would even blink. Because boy am I feeling it hard tonight.

[gossamyrrh]

part two to this ! fem!reader. intox. coercion.

the next time you meet plug!geto, it’s at his flat two weeks later with a dreadfully low stash and an achingly empty cunt. he, of course, is more than happy to fill both free of charge.

…of money, that is.

plug!geto opens the door with a mischievous grin, leans lazily against the doorframe and crosses his arms as his eyes rake over your body. shamelessly lingering on your more…intimate areas.

“nice seein’ you again.” he purrs, lips curling like the wisps of smoke that waft up into the air behind him. “you haven’t been answerin’ my texts.”

“been busy.” you mumble, which isn’t exactly a lie. you have been busy—trying not to wallow in the shame that comes from cumming around your dealer’s fingers…getting off to him calling you a slut and a whore. dreaming for it to happening again and again and again and—

“yeah? thought you were ignorin’ me.”

“n-no.” you stutter, meeting his eyes for the first time tonight. they glint with something predatory. like he’s playing with you. pawing at his meal before he pounces. “i’d never do that.”

another lie.

suguru leans up off the frame now. turns his body to the side and gestures with his chin for you to slip past. “good. c’mon in, doll. since you’re so… busy and all.”

his large hand snakes down and settles on the small of your back. and before you can even think to resist him—give this all a second thought—suguru is shoving you through the threshold and slamming the door closed. leads you to the sofa, with his warm hand still tight around you.

and you can’t help but feel like he’s closing in.

you can smell him in the air, that unique, signature scent of him: smoke, spice—something musky. his palms glide with an indescribable possessiveness along your waist and down your hips as he nudges you to sit. his breath hot along your cheek as he leaves little room between you both. makes himself comfortable in the dips and arches of you; meshes his skin to yours.

your head begins to spin.

and he notices this. of course, he does.

plug!geto’s grin is all teeth now. wolfish. amused as he leans closer, forces your thighs to squeeze together. your shoulders to curl.

“you nervous, doll?”

“no.” you lie. but it comes out too quickly. lands flat.

“mm.” suguru hums, unconvinced, and a heavy hand smooths over your shoulder. drags down your arm. “you sure? you’re practically shakin’.”

your breath catches. you hadn’t event realised…

he laughs at that. and it comes low. rumbles. his free arm reaches forward for something, and it’s then you notice the pre-rolled joint on the coffee table. just how deep in your head are you?

“let’s take the edge off yeah? help you forget that busy life of yours.”

suguru brings the joint to his lips, fishes a lighter from his trouser pocket, and you watch as the tiny flame licks at the tip. makes the paper crackle and shrivel as it burns, glowing a fiery red as he takes a slow, deliberate pull.

“b-but there’s only one.” you squeak.

a deep exhale, and suguru’s eyes are on you. his grin never faltering. “what? you gotta problem with sharin’?”

he offers it to you.

“c’mon, doll. you’ll be less uptight.”

you hesitate, and suguru’s grin stretches. miles long, you think, if even that.

“c’mon, doll,” he coaxes again, tapping the joint against your lips, the lingering heat of it a near ghostly kiss. “don’t tell me you came all this way just to get shy on me.”

the worst part? he’s right. you did come a long way. tried to steel your nerves for almost an hour, paced outside his building as you debated whether you should go home or not.

(you should’ve. you really should’ve.)

it shouldn’t all be for nothing. you shouldn’t waste both your time, right…?

before you can think, your mouth parts, eases open just for him. the filter presses against your lips, tasting of ash and something unmistakably suguru, and you inhale, slow and tentative, the burn blooming in your lungs before settling deep within your bones.

it feels good—too good. makes you feel nothing yet everything in some….indescribable sort of way.

“atta girl,” suguru murmurs, watching you through heavy lids. his voice drips with something rich, thick and syrupy. he plucks the joint from your fingers to take another long drag before he blows the smoke right into your face.

you barely register the sharp pull of his hand on your jaw until your head tilts back, your body pliant under his touch. his fingers press, firm and possessive, as he exhales into your mouth. the smoke curls past your lips, seeps into your lungs. hot. overwhelming.

your mind fogs.

he watches as you swallow it down, amusement flickering in his dark eyes. “there you go,” he soothes, thumb stroking the hollow of your throat. “you always take what i give you so well, don’t you?”

the room tilts. or maybe it’s just you.

you blink, slow and heavy, warmth pooling in your limbs as a lazy kind of heat starts to spread through you. it’s the weed, but it’s also him—the way he looms, the way his touch lingers, the way his words slither beneath your skin like a secondhand high.

“feelin’ good, doll?”

you nod, dazed. “y-yeah.”

suguru chuckles. “that’s what i like to hear.”

his hand begins to drift lower. off your arm now, skimming your thigh, fingers teasing the hem of your skirt. testing.

and you—hazy, pliant, needy—don’t stop him.

he notices. of course, he does.

and he gets ready to take his payment.

“come up here, doll. it’ll make it easier to sure the weed.”

the weed….sure.

but when he tugs you forward, you go without question.

suguru guides you onto his lap with ease, like he’s done it before—like you slot against him like some missing puzzle piece, fitting perfectly wrapped around him.

his hands find your hips as if on instinct. thumbs stroking slow, soothing circles—but there’s nothing soothing about the way his grip tightens. keeps you right where he wants you.

“good girl,” he murmurs, low and approving. “knew you’d listen.”

your thighs spread to straddle him, knees pressing into the sofa, and the position is… compromising. intimate . his body heat sinks into yours, the thick scent of weed and something musky filling your lungs.

your head spins.

he holds the joint between his fingers, tapping the ashes into the tray beside him, before bringing it back to his lips for another deep inhale. his gaze stays on you the whole time—watching, assessing, waiting.

you swallow. thickly.

his free hand slides up your spine, slow and deliberate, stopping just beneath the nape of your neck. he tilts his head, eyes brimming with want, lips curved into something that’s not quite a smirk, not quite a smile.

“open.”

you hesitate for just a second too long.

his grip tightens.

“c’mon, doll,” he coos, a stone-like hardness to his tone that has you straightening atop him. “you were so eager before. don’t go gettin’ shy on me now.”

heat prickles across your skin, shame curling low in your stomach, because he’s right. you shouldn’t want this, shouldn’t crave it, but you do—you really fucking do.

so you part your lips, obedient—good—and his smirk widens.

“there’s a good girl.”

he exhales slow, measured, a thick cloud of smoke curling from his lips and past yours. it’s hot, intoxicating, thick enough to make your lashes flutter and a soft groan to escape you. his fingers flex against your nape as he watches you swallow it down, approval humming deep in his chest.

“see?” he murmurs, thumb stroking lazily along your throat. “ain’t so bad, huh?”

you nod, dazed, the warmth pooling low in your belly now sinking deeper.

his other hand—still heavy on your hip—skims beneath the hem of your skirt, fingers toying with the band of your panties. testing. asking (but not really).

and you don’t stop him.

“fuck,” he mutters, mostly to himself. “knew you’d be easy for me. feelin’ good, doll?”

his fingers dip lower, teasing against your damp heat, running along your folds—and you shudder. the weed has settled deep, makes every touch feel heightened—like sparks licking across your skin. needles pricking.

“i feel—” you let out a whimper. “fine.”

suguru grins. all slow satisfaction, like he’s won something. like he’s known all along how this would go.

“that’s what I like to hear.”

and then his fingers push past the fabric, finding you soaked.

a deep, pleased groan rumbles in his throat as he presses in, spreading you open, testing just how ready you are. how needy you are.

“shit, doll,” he murmurs, dragging his fingers through the slick. “you this fuckin’ wet just from smokin’ with me?”

your face burns, and he chuckles.

“hey, don’t get shy now,” he purrs. “not when you’re so fuckin’ eager to let me take what’s mine.”

suguru’s fingers tease at your entrance, just barely pressing in before retreating, dragging slick warmth over your folds. he’s toying with you. that much is clear. drawing out every little tremble, every tiny catch of breath, watching you unravel bit by bit.

“fuuuuck, doll,” he groans. “you’re practically drippin’. makin’ a mess all in my lap.”

shame pools low in your stomach. and you lift your hips to move, but suguru is gripping your hips and pulling you back down.

“don’t.” his grin widens as his fingers leave you, moving to grip your other hip instead.

“c’mere.”

you barely have time to register it before he’s shifting beneath you, pressing you down against the thick hardness straining against his sweatpants. a choked sound catches in your throat as the pressure sparks through you, heat curling sharp and insistent between your thighs.

suguru groans, low and drawn out, fingers tightening as he pulls you even closer. “fuck,” he mutters. “you feel that, doll?”

you do. god, you do.

your breath stutters as he rolls his hips up, slow, deliberate, letting you feel every inch of him through the thin fabric separating. it’s too much, yet somehow not enough.

and he knows it.

“that’s it,” he coaxes, his voice smooth and syrupy, thick with approval. “go on, baby. give me what i need.”

it’s humiliating how easily you give in. how naturally your body moves with his, grinding down, chasing the friction that makes your head spin. every slow drag of his cock against your clothed cunt sends another shiver rolling through you, pleasure licking up your spine, twisting tight in your gut.

suguru watches, heavy-lidded and satisfied, drinking in the way you melt against him. “fuckin’ knew it,” he mutters, mostly to himself, dragging his hands up your back. “knew you’d be like this for me.”

“w-what does that mean?”

“delicious.” he coos, thrusting his pelvis up to meet yours.

your hands find his shoulders, gripping tight, needing something to ground you as he keeps moving, keeps working you over the thick length of him, rolling his hips just right, just enough to make your thighs tremble. your cunt weep.

“you like that, doll?” his voice is teasing now, a purr in your ear. “ridin’ me like you’ve been thinkin’ about it since last time?”

a whimper slips past your lips before you can stop it.

suguru grins, pleased. “yeah? you gonna cum just like this? just from dry humpin’ me like a needy little thing?”

the worst part is that you might.

and he knows this. knows you.

he can feel it—the way your body tenses, the way your breath catches, the way your hips stutter like you’re on the edge of something devastating.

you lose your strength and fall into his chest, panting and moaning in his ear as your hips rock back and forth into him.

“c’mon, doll,” he murmurs, voice smooth, coaxing. “be good for me. let me feel you.”

and just like that, you break.

pleasure crashes over you in slow, shuddering waves, a choked moan spilling from your lips as your body clenches, thighs trembling around him. the friction, the heat, the intoxicating push and pull—it all swallows you whole.

suguru groans, grinding up against you one last time, dragging out your pleasure as his hands stroke slow, soothing patterns down your back.

“f-fuck,” he mutters, breathless, lips brushing your temple. “knew you’d be perfect for me.”

you can’t even respond. can’t do anything but collapse against him, skin fever-hot, body weak. the high lingers thick in your veins, pleasure still buzzing beneath your skin. high and blissed out.

suguru chuckles, lazy and satisfied, fingers trailing along your spine as he helps rock you against him slowly. “make sure you answer my texts next time, pretty girl.”

[dannyriccsystem]

could you do ollie with 1 & 3 for the 1k special? tysm <33

WHO’S GONNA KISS THE BROWN-HAIRED BOYS?

1K SPECIAL - OB87

Smothering them in kisses + Soft make out session

SUMMARY: You can’t contain all your love for Ollie! You gotta let him know :)

WORD COUNT: 512

WARNINGS: FLUFF!

FEATURING: Oliver Bearman x Reader

OLLIE WAS YOUR ANCHOR. When the world around you was overwhelming— the lights too bright, the sounds too loud— he was there to be your support system. It was a harrowing day at your internship where you had been mercilessly chewed out by your boss, leaving you to seek shelter in the comfort of your boyfriend.

Showing up unannounced was no longer an issue. His parents gave you a free pass into their home, happy to welcome you with warm hugs and questions that inquired about your day. You were their very sweet son’s very sweet girlfriend, after all.

This time, you were in a visibly bad moon. Ollie was the only one home, which left him to be the only one available to help. You stepped into the threshold of his home, immediately joining him on the couch, your head resting against his shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He finally asked, wrapping one arm around your shoulder, rubbing soft circles into the bare skin of your shoulder. You shook your head as a reply, yearning to just wallow in the comfort of your own sadness for a little longer. He chuckled, the sound fresh and warm. “Alright.”

You tilted your head to the side, kissing his jawline. Without realizing, your frown turned up into a soft smile; your lipstick had left a red stain in the shape of your mouth right on the bone. Ollie glanced at you, tilting his head with confusion.

You responded to his silent question with a silent answer: You cupped his face with both hands, pulling him down to continue peppering his pale skin in your light red kisses. His nose, his cheeks, his forehead. He giggled, reaching out to hold your waist as you continued the assault of your lips on him.

Finally, you pressed your lips to his. You meant for it to be momentary, but he caught you fast enough to pull you back in. You melted in his hands as his lips moved against yours, eyes fluttering shut.

You pulled away to whisper into his mouth, “I love you,” and when you connected again, you could feel him grinning like a fool. He wanted to be as close as possible, pulling you up onto his lap, his palms dragging along your sides. Every motion was careful, almost like both of you were afraid of being too aggressive.

“You’re so pretty,” He murmured, nipping at your bottom lip playfully. You giggled as a response. You were both ready to really get into it, but as soon as you heard the front door open, you were quick to practically fling yourself off of him.

You tried to look natural, sitting comfortably. He mirrored you, both of your eyes trained to the TV. You peeked at him, and then snorted into the palm of your hand.

“Oh, looks like you two had fun,” His mother teased as she poked her head into the living room. Your cheeks were unusually warm, and Ollie’s ears were bright red.

Maybe you forgot about the lipstick.

[lulualuana]

Balcony Debauchery

idk, needy Leon is a plague

wc: 1277

cw: begging, mild dirty talk, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap that thing yall!), creampie, sneaky sex but not well executed, first time writing correct straight smut in ever pls don't bully me

enjoy?

“C’mon...” Leon complained, egging you on like he had been the entire night. He had a mission to accomplish: get you to be a bit dirtier than you would ever be. “It won’t kill you baby.” 

Together at a friend’s place for dinner, Leon seemed to be in a mood entirely inappropriate for what the setting was. From his hand on your thigh under the table at dinner, to his hand drifting way too far down while standing and mingling. It was obvious what he was after, and you made it even more obvious that you weren’t going to entertain it. 

It had gotten to a point where you had to drag him outside, afraid that he would all but start fucking you right in front of all of your friends without a lick of shame. You brought him out to the balcony of your friend’s place, the area fairly secluded. That was your first mistake. 

“It won’t kill me, you’re right, but it also won’t kill you to wait until we get home,” You returned, which was simply just common sense. If Leon waited until you got back to your place, you’d let him do whatever he wanted. Even butt stuff. 

“Except it will kill me, baby,” He groans, getting close and hugging you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. He wraps his arms tight around your waist, pressing himself completely flush against you. “I’ve never wanted you so badly. I can’t wait however long you plan to stay here.” 

He groans lowly against your ear, absolutely adoring the feel of your body against his. The plush of your ass up against his aching cock almost has his head spinning. He’s been hard for far longer than any man should be at this point. “You look so damn pretty tonight too. What’s wrong with wanting to appreciate my baby?” 

You’re about to reply when you feel one hand drifting down from your waist, trailing down your front until his hand is palming at your thigh, far too close to your pussy. That was his real goal. “C’mon…” 

You huff, wanting to say no. It was so damn risky. It’s not like the balcony was completely private. If anyone were to open the door, they’d see you in an instant. But damn did his hand feel good against your thigh, and you’d be lying if you said all his efforts from the night to try and get you in a similar mood did nothing to you. 

“Fine,” You conceded, rolling your eyes. You could sense him perking up behind you, happy to have won you over. You don’t have time to further wallow in your weakness when he’s abruptly slipping his hand under your dress, tugging the panties you were wearing to the side with one hand. You feel his lips against your neck as his other hand works deftly to undo his slacks. He wasted no time.

“Gotta make this quick...” he mumbles under his breath, huffing lightly as he frees his cock, the cool night air ghosting his leaking tip. He presses you up against the balcony railing, bending you over it ever so slightly so he can notch his head against your hole, pushing into you with a low groan. “Fuuuck, I love this pussy.” His words are almost a whine, needy in every sense of the word. 

His words pool heat deep in your stomach, making you clench around him involuntarily with a bitten down moan from you, only pulling more groans from his lips. “Don’t tighten up on me like that, baby. I’ll come in seconds.” His words are followed by an experimental thrust of his hips, one that he seems to find much joy in because he then sets a steady pace. 

He rocks forward smoothly in a short thrust, pushing your hips up against the railing as his pelvis presses against your ass, his cock nudging nice and deep inside of you before he’s pulling back and repeating the motion all over again. 

“Told me you didn’t want it,” he grunts, one hand gripping your waist while the other palms at your ass under your dress. “Told me you wanted to wait until we got home but look how fucking wet you were for me this whole time.” Corroborating his claim, a wet squelching sound followed every time he pulled back and pushed in, your arousal effortlessly coating his cock and making his thrusts even smoother. 

The more he thrusts into you, the less you seem to worry about whether or not someone’s going to catch you, instead you seem a lot more concerned about Leon’s cock and the way it's just barely nudging that sweet spot in your pussy, and how you need it to get there. You’re too deep into it and too impatient to use words, instead pushing your hips back against his when he thrusts in, your eyes rolling back when he hits exactly where you wanted him to. You clench around him again, tighter this time and his hips stutter. 

“Fuck, baby, what did I say? You keep clenching like that, and I won't last,” He groans softly, his grip on your waist tightening as he speeds up his thrusts, seemingly remembering that you were on a time crunch here. There’s no way your friends haven’t noticed you two missing. 

He works with a scary amount of precision, drilling into you with short, deep thrusts that have you clenching rapidly around his cock, sucking him back in every time he pulls back. “Leon-” You don’t have to say anything else for him to know what you mean, for him to know what’s coming. His hand on your ass comes forward, his middle and ring finger finding your clit and rubbing in tight circles. 

“C’mon baby, gonna come on my cock for me, right? Gonna give me what I want?” He taunts, coaxing you into coming. He wants it, he wants to feel the way you tighten around him, the way your body stiffens before melting into the bliss of an orgasm. The mere thought of it almost has him coming before you do, but he’s too much of a gentleman to do that. “Come, baby. Need it. Need to feel you come.” 

His words spark your orgasm to life, your body stiffening as your eyes roll back, a high-pitched sound leaving your mouth despite your best efforts to stamp down all your noises. You clench unbelievably tight around him, and he can’t take it anymore, his hips stuttering as he pushes deep into you, his cock twitching and jumping as he spills ropes of hot cum straight into you, burying his face into your hair as he does. “F-fuck, you’re so good for me. Fucking love you. L-love you coming for me.” 

With a few slow rolls of his hips to completely ride out his orgasm and yours he pulls out of you, wincing sharply when he catches a glimpse of his cum dripping down your thigh. He can feel his cock kick again at the sight and he can already feel the scolding he’s going to get later about how his cum leaked all over your panties. “Maybe... We should just go home…” 

You throw him a slightly fucked out glare over your shoulder.

What only made it worse was the look your friends gave you when you and Leon rejoined the group and announced you were leaving early. It wasn't hard to tell from the flushed look on both of your faces what had happened on the balcony. 

You made damn sure that Leon paid for that when you got home.

~~~

can't tell if this feels rushed or not, the horny started taking over

[a99jazzybean]

me again hello, shameless public ask this time😛

but i was wondering if you could write a jayvik x reader birthday fic where it’s the readers birthday! fluff and/or smut, whatever you like!

inspired by the fact it’s my birthday today and i’m painfully single </3

Happy Happy Birthday! I hope you like this!

Birthday Special

synop: As you yearn for Jayce and Viktor, you don't realize the men feel the same way towards you. You're ready to spend your birthday single once more, but the men have other plans for you.

words: 5.1K

includes: jayvikxfemale!reader, alcohol use, smut, threesome, fluff, birthday celebration, overstimulation, creampie

a/n: Happy Birthday to any readers that have one right now, or you can save this story till that date! Also, this is smutty. 18+ readers only!

Happy Birthday! 

The text from your mother was followed by an emoji shooting confetti with a birthday hat. Smiling and chuckling to yourself, you tucked your phone back into your pocket. You were sure a phone call would soon accompany the text, but your mother always wanted to be “in with the times.” Though she typically ended up at least 5 years in the past, but it was endearing. 

As you made your way home, you wondered if either of your roommates even remembered the day. While you had been friends for a long while now, Jayce and Viktor could both get too into their heads to remember the concept of time. The issue caused quite the spat between the two on Jayce’s birthday. You remembered the slowly increasing volume of their dispute in the kitchen after Jayce had baked himself a cake just to spite Viktor.

“How many times must I apologize for you to understand I’m truly sorry?” Viktor asked exasperated. 

Jayce was turned away from the man, icing the now cooled cake. Writing a sloppy “Happy Birthday” for himself. 

“You said it was a trivial date.” He huffed, dotting the eyes with a deep red icing. 

His eyes flitted to Viktor’s slumped over figure. The man wallowed in his defeat, not knowing how to return to Jayce’s good graces. 

While it was a bit amusing watching them bicker like an old couple, you could tell Viktor was at a loss. Jayce was easy enough to please, but Viktor often was stumped when his partner got in a “mood.” Taking it upon yourself, you walked over to aid Viktor in easing the ever growing tension.

“You gotta sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him.” You nudged him in the ribs. 

“I am not doing that.” Viktor spat out, as if you had wounded him. 

Shrugging your shoulders, you pointedly looked over at Jayce. The man’s large frame sagging with a sad sigh. 

Rubbing a hand down his face Viktor realized you were right. If he wanted to make the man feel better about his slight forgetfulness, he would have to go through with your idea. 

He grabbed your hand, making you jump. 

“You’ve got to sing it with me.” He said softly, amber eyes pleading with yours. 

Nodding emphatically, you cleared your throat. Readying yourself to screech out a lovely rendition of the classic song of celebration. 

Both you and Viktor squeaked out the song, watching as Jayce’s lips curled into a wide smile. 

“Happy Birthday to you!” You pointed at Jayce, who laughed at your dramatics. 

Pulling both of you in, Jayce squished you in a deep bear hug.

“Alright, V, you are forgiven.” He pulled back to look at you. “Better thank our girl, otherwise you would still be in the doghouse.” 

Our girl. A phrase that the two had been using for quite some time now, even before you had begun sharing an apartment together. Though it was nothing more than a platonic claim of your friendship, it still made you warm and fuzzy inside. Oh how you wished it could mean more. 

“Of course. Thank you.” Viktor said to you, body still pressed close to you in Jayce’s embrace. 

Shaking your head, you laughed at the memory. Part of you was hoping that something was waiting for you at home, but you weren’t going to keep your hopes too high.

As you pushed in, you were met with the giant of a man pulling you into one of his embraces. Strong arms keeping you locked in a bear hug as he nuzzled your hair lovingly. 

“Happy Birthday!” He said, pulling back to look you in the eye.

You couldn’t help but giggle and smile at his antics, a small blush dusting your cheeks at the intimacy of his actions. 

“Thanks, Jayce! I didn’t realize you remembered.” At that Jayce’s smile fell. 

“You don’t think I’d remember our girl’s birthday? I would think we’re closer than that.” His voice was slightly disappointed.

“No, that’s not it at all,” you attempted to reverse this emotional switch. “It’s just, I’m not that special to remember that kind of mundane stuff.” His frown deepened.

Wrong answer. You cringed inwardly.

“Viktor might not.” He shot the man a pointed look, then turned back to you still wrapped in his arms. “But I would never. You are special to me.” He booped your nose affectionately. 

“I do hope you’re not suggesting that I do not find her special?” Viktor asked. 

He sat at the kitchen island, hand on his chin. Looking at the two of you expectantly. Opening his arms, he offered a hug of his own. 

Jayce reluctantly allowed you to pull away from his embrace and you walked over to give Viktor a hug. His thin arms pulling you into a surprisingly strong embrace. He huffed with amusement against your shoulder as you squeezed him back. 

“Happy Birthday,” he took a look at you, eyes sparkling with admiration. Platonic, of course. “You are special to both of us, I hope you know that.”

That had you blushing. Nodding sheepishly, you pulled out of the hug.

“Well thank you, both of you.” 

Jayce pulled you back into another hug. Very typical of your touchy-feely friend, but you didn’t mind. Not when it gave you an excuse to be held by him. 

“So birthday girl, got any plans?” He asked giddily. 

Shrugging, you shook your head. You assumed you would likely just go out with some of your friends, grab some dinner and a beer and call it a day. 

“Not really. I know Ekko had mentioned taking me out for a drink, but otherwise I haven’t made plans.” 

“Mind if we join you?” Viktor asked. 

“I don’t even know if —” As if hearing you, your phone buzzed with a text.

Ekko: Still on for drinks tonight? Jinx said she could come, and REALLY wants to get you shots. 

“Nevermind, guess plans have been made.” 

“Great, where are we going?” Jayce leaned over your shoulder to watch you type.

“Why must you always drape yourself over me?” You teased. 

“Gotta stay close to my girl.” He chuckled and nudged you, noting the red blooming on your face.

“Uhuh…” 

You: Sounds good, where at? And what time?

Ekko: Last Drop? Jinx gets free drinks there. 

You: So I’m getting shots for free? How generous. 

Ekko: We’ll see you at 10. :p 

The Last Drop was fairly busy when you entered the bar. Faint rock music was playing over speakers in the bar, with most of the lyrics drowned out by the drone of conversation. As you made your way between squished bodies, you caught the familiar sight of bright white hair accompanied by blue space buns. Waving, you caught the couple’s attention. Spotting you, Jinx bounded over and squeezed you in a tight hug. 

“There’s the birthday girl!” She exclaimed. 

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you hugged her back. 

“Can you guys stop calling me that? Makes me feel like I’m five.” 

“Is that not what you are?” Viktor chimed in from behind you. “The birthday girl, that is. Not a five-year old.”

“Oh, thank you for clarification, V.” You huffed an airy chuckle. 

“Of course.” 

Jinx’s smile widened as she noticed the men accompanying you. She wrapped an arm around your neck, and pulled your cheek against hers. 

“I see you brought your boyfriends.” She chided. 

Pushing away, you rolled your eyes again. If they kept this up, they’d probably roll out of your skull. 

“Friends, Jinx, friends.” You corrected, not noticing the shared look of disappointment on Jayce and Viktor’s faces. 

They had been trying, really trying to make you see them in a different light. One that involved being romantically involved with them. While they were officially together, they hoped that you would be interested in them as well. Especially after the years of knowing each other. Alas, you were either too oblivious to notice their yearning, or you didn’t feel the same. Viktor had a feeling it was the former.

As subtle as you had tried to be, you occasionally failed spectacularly. Often staring at the men longingly for too long, making them catch you in the act. Leaving you wide eyed, flustered, and blushing. Attempting to hide your true feelings with a stuttered excuse of some variety. 

“Did you get a new haircut?” Or, “That’s a nice shirt,” or Viktor’s favorite. “Have you noticed how cool the kitchen light looks on you?” Yeah, that one was pretty bad. 

Perhaps things could change tonight.

“Well, regardless of what you guys are,” Jinx waggled a finger between the three of you, “you are too sober to be celebrating your day of birth correctly.”

“Get pushed out of the womb one time, and you deal with forced celebrations for an eternity.” You smirked at Jinx.

“Oh boo hoo. And I’ll have you know I was cut out of my mother’s womb. She said I was a fat baby.” Looking over Jinx, you shook your head in wonder.

“I find that very hard to believe.” You said, pointedly looking over her skinny frame.

“She’s filled out properly, right?” Ekko had joined your group, looping an arm around Jinx’s waist. 

“Nice of you to join us.” She chided him.

“Hey! You made it sound like you were bringing them to the bar.”

“I am!” She pulled away from him. “Now, I need some shots!” 

“What do we say when we want something?” A gruff voice asked from behind the bar.

A large hairy man was manning the space, skillfully mixing and refilling drinks like it was second nature. Though it probably was, owning a bar for decades would do that to you.

“Ah, there’s the birthday girl!” Vander exclaimed, a warm smile on his face. 

“Again with the ‘birthday girl’.” You dramatically groaned. 

“I’m sure you’ll live,” He slid over a few shot glasses. “Now, it’s time to celebrate!” He encouraged your group to down the shots. 

As fast as possible, you downed the drink. Cake flavored vodka, of course. 

“Whoo! Let’s go birthday girl!” Jinx cheered.

“Jinx…” Vander warned. “Remember what I told you.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll be responsible. Besides, she’s like an old woman.” Jinx turned to you. “What time do you normally go to bed, again?” 

“Eight or nine?”

“See, old woman.” She shook her head giving you a fake look of disappointment. “And you’ve aged even more today! What are you, 75?” 

“I think she’s 80!” Jayce chimed in.

“Ugh, you guys are the worst!” You groaned.

“And you love us anyways.” Jayce wrapped a strong arm around you, pulling you into his side and giving you a loving jostle.

“Yeah…” You looked down, afraid he would see the blush growing on your face. 

Jinx caught the sheepish action, a devilish smirk on her lips. 

“What are you plotting?” Ekko questioned. He knew she could occasionally be a bit volatile, and did not wish for your night to be ruined by one of her schemes. 

“Just gonna give her a push to actually act for once.” She eyed the way you were speaking with Jayce and Viktor now.

Jayce still had you in a hold around your waist, while you had your hand on Viktor’s arm. Thumb tracing circles on his wrist. You all certainly looked like you belonged together, but Jinx knew that you would never act on it. Lest you be utterly rejected and embarrassed at even the thought of asking them out. You could never.

“So, anyone else joining us tonight?” Jinx asked, a teasing glint in her eyes.

“Not that I know of.” You shrugged, turning back to the bar to order a beer. After getting your drink, you turned back to her. “Unless you’ve invited someone else?” You raised a questioning brow. 

“Nope. Just us tonight I guess.” She smiled wide. “But you’re sure no one else is coming?” She pressed.

“I’m sure. Are you sure you didn’t invite someone else?” 

She sighed, slumping against Ekko with a pout. 

“I just thought maybe you had a date for once. Alas, another birthday come and gone without a lover for our dear friend.” 

You didn’t notice the way the men beside you stiffened up at her words. The two watched your reaction. Seeing your face grow red with embarrassment. 

Grumbling to yourself, you tried to find some sort of retort. 

“I’m not really looking for anything right now.” Was the best you could come up with. 

You sipped on your beer, hoping this conversation would end quickly. 

“You sure?” She pressed, looking between Viktor and Jayce. Doing her best to indicated your interest in the men with her eyes. 

All they noticed was the woman giving them a wide-eyed stare. 

“Yes, Jinx I’m sure.” Hmm, she would have to try a different approach. 

“Well, maybe we could help you…” She glanced over the bar as if she was looking for someone. “Perhaps the perfect partner is right here…” She trailed, catching your reaction in her peripheral. 

“No!” You said too loudly, then realized Jayce had joined you. 

His hazel eyes wide, almost anxious looking. He realized what he had said and straightened himself out. However, you were now concerned. Brows furrowed, you confronted the man.

“Why did you say ‘no’?” 

Shit, Jayce didn’t know how he was getting out of this one. If he revealed his true feelings, how would you respond. There was also Viktor to think about. The man watched Jayce frantically think, unable to aid him. 

“Uh, I, uh, I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Right…” You didn’t believe him. That man had a very hard time lying, especially to those close to him.

“I could…” He chewed on his tongue as he thought. “I could help you find someone, if you want.” Yeah, that was a bad move too. It stung, and he could see it in your eyes. Beside him, Viktor shook his head. Leave it to Jayce to awkwardly maneuver a conversation somewhere he wished it would never go.

“I don’t want to find someone.” You said lowly.

“Okay.” Jayce said quietly, afraid to disappoint you once again. 

“I need some air.” You croaked out, feeling the sting of tears growing in your eyes. 

Pushing past them, you made your way to the front door. 

“Shit.” Jayce hissed out.

“You’re an idiot.” Viktor said, then he turned to Jinx with a stern look. “And you shouldn’t be instigating.” With that, he picked up his cane. Doing his best to maneuver around people to reach the front door. 

Outside, you were leaning against the brick exterior of the bar. Squeezing your eyes and hands, trying to calm yourself down. Overwhelmed was an understatement.

Damn Jinx. You knew she was just trying to push you to talk to your roommates about your true feelings, but she went about it horribly. Though, that shouldn’t surprise you. The woman was quite the wildcard. 

Oh well, you’d just have to calm yourself down, and enjoy the rest of the night. Ensuring that the topic of your love life would stay out of people’s mouths. You did not wish for Jayce to try and offer his assistance again, especially since you wanted him. Obviously he did not feel the same. Why try and assist otherwise?

The sound of the bar’s front door opening pulled your attention back into the real world. Stepping outside was Viktor. The man watching you expectantly. He made his way to you, leaning his shoulder against the wall. 

He reached for your face, gripping your chin and turning your head. Checking to see if the tears he had seen developing in your eyes had fallen. It appeared they hadn’t, though you were still teary eyed. 

“Care to talk about that?” He asked, referring to the way you stormed out.

“Not particularly.” You slunk into yourself.

“So be it.” He let out a long breath through his nose. “Jayce can be…” He clicked his tongue trying to find the right words. “A dumbass, sometimes.” 

You chuckled. 

“No, he’s extremely smart. Both of you.”

“Let me rephrase that. A dumbass when it comes to matters of the heart. He’s impulsive.” 

You raised a brow at Viktor.

“Matters of the heart?”

“Don’t be daft.” He smirked at you. The dim light from a street lamp glinting off his gold irises, a teasing glimmer winked at you. “It’s unbecoming of you.” 

“I-I don’t understand.” 

He sighed, a low amused breath. His head hung down in contemplation. That smirk still playing on his lips. When he turned back to you, you sucked in a sharp breath.

Those amber eyes dark with want. He brought his hand back to your chin, lifting your face to stay looking at him. Your eyes flitted to his lips, then his eyes. 

Without hesitation, he leaned in, capturing your lips with his own. Your eyes widened, then fluttered shut. You pressed yourself against him, then your eyes shot open. Pushing him away you shook your head. He gave you a confused look.

“We can’t do this, not to Jayce.”

He chuckled. Now it was your turn to look confused.

“Oh you sweet, sweet thing. Jayce wants this too.” 

Oh. 

“Okay.”

“May I continue?” 

You nodded, pressing back against him. Lips finding each other once more. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, then pressed into your gasping mouth. The lingering taste of vodka was on his tongue. Sighing you pressed on, hands curling in his chestnut locks. With a light tug, you had the man groaning. When you pulled away for a breath, he chased after your lips. Only allowing you a gulp of air. As if he needed to keep kissing you. You surely needed it, you hadn’t realized how badly until now. 

“Hey, is everything… alright?” Jayce burst out the door, then paused as he caught you and Viktor. 

At first you were concerned that Viktor had lied as Jayce stared at you with wide eyes. Then his face softened with a smile. 

“Started the fun without me, huh?” He chuckled, looking over you two. 

Limbs still tangled together, breathing labored. Viktor’s lips quirked into a smirk. He waved Jayce over to join you.

“So you too?” You asked Jayce, pulling yourself off of Viktor.

“Me too.” He raised a brow. “Why do you think we call you ‘our girl’?” 

Looking down, you blushed. Trailing your foot around sheepishly, you mumbled.

“I just thought you were just being a close friend.” 

Both him and Viktor let out laughs. Jayce clapped a hand on his forehead in awe.

“Wow, you really are oblivious.”

“I wouldn’t say that…” Viktor trailed. “More like ignorant.”

“That’s not much better.” You crossed your arms with a pout.

“Ignorance in the sense that you are aware of what is happening, you just choose not to see it.” 

“Still not making me feel better.” 

“Then what would?” Viktor asked, that teasing glint back in his eye. 

“I think I know.” Jayce said as he reached for you. 

Pulling you into his strong embrace, then lifting your face like Viktor had. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. His hand curling into your hair. He groaned as your tongue tangled with his, the grip he had on your waist tightening. 

The man beside you two cleared his throat, pulling your attention toward him. 

“Perhaps we should take this home?” He motioned in the direction of your apartment. 

“Yes please.” You said, heart fluttering. 

As you walked away, Jinx and Ekko peeked out the door. She high fived Ekko, laughing maniacally. 

“Ha, ha! I did it!” 

Ekko shook his head with an amused smirk. 

“You sure did.”

As soon as you made it into your apartment the men’s hands were on you. Their soft touches making you giggle in bliss.

“Eager, are we?” You teased.

“You have no idea.” Jayce said before capturing your lips with his. 

Viktor’s lips attached to your neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses up the column of your throat. 

“What would you like for us to do, birthday girl?” He asked when he reached your ear. His heated breath against your neck made you shiver. 

Pausing, you realized you didn’t know. In fact, you hadn’t ever imagined you would get this far. Especially not with the both of them. 

“Uh, I don’t really know. Sorry.” You looked down sheepishly.

Viktor tsked you, lifting your chin to face him.

“No need to apologize. We’ll take care of you.” He locked eyes with the man behind you. “Won’t we, Jayce.” 

“Of course.” He responded, placing a soft kiss against your cheek. 

“Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?” Viktor smirked as you and Jayce nodded enthusiastically. 

Once in the bedroom, Jayce began stripping you down. Leaving you the only one bare, they appraised your body. Lust darkening their gazes as their eyes trailed over every part of you. Quite the treat to look at. 

“You’re beautiful.” Jayce returned to your side, kissing and sucking your neck. 

“You certainly are.” Viktor chimed in as he began stripping down. 

He left his boxers on, leaving you with the view of his cock straining against the fabric. 

Jayce followed suit, leaving only his boxers on. 

The sight of them almost naked had your mouth watering. 

Jayce guided you to the bed. Viktor sat on the edge, legs spread. He pulled you to sit against his chest. Long fingers trailed over your body, making you shiver. They pinched at your sensitive nipples causing you to whimper. His fingers continued moving over you, sliding down your stomach. Just as he reached where you wished for his fingers to be, he paused. Tapping just over your heated and wet core. 

“So sensitive.” He whispered against your throat, kissing a sweet spot behind your ear. 

Slowly, his fingers dipped down. One circling your clit, making your hips jolt. 

“Ah! Viktor!” 

He chuckled, continuing to touch you. 

Jayce kneeled in front of you. Honeyed eyes drinking in all of your reactions, loving the way Viktor had you twitching and moaning. As his eyes trailed lower, he groaned. The sight of your glistening pussy, already soaked as Viktor played with you. 

“Think I should make her cum like this?” He asked Jayce. The low timbre of his voice making you shake. 

He knew you were already getting close. With the way your lower abdomen was flexing, the sharpness of your breaths, the continual moans spilling out of your mouth. Any moment you would snap. 

Snap you did. Gripping Viktor’s thighs for some way to ground yourself as you shook. Your release squirting out of you as you came harder than you ever had. Seemingly pent up, going all that time with only yourself as your aid. 

Coming down, you took in deep labored breaths. Not noticing the man below you shuffle between your thighs. Thick fingers slid through your wet folds, causing you to cry out with oversensitivity.

“Fuck, so wet.” He stared at you in awe. 

“And she squirted. Such a good girl for us.” Viktor kissed up your neck. 

“Our girl.” Jayce said, placing a kiss on your thigh. 

Viktor spread your folds for Jayce.

“Why don’t you get a taste?”

The man dived in, strong tongue lapping away at your folds. A starved man, groaning at your taste. Heaven, one that he would gladly drown in if he could. His eyes rolled back in ecstasy as he continued his ministrations. Whimpers and moans continued to spill out of you as Jayce ate you out with fervor. 

Viktor felt every jolt of your body against his. Your ass occasionally brushing up against his hard cock. He ground himself against you for some relief, groaning as he shivered with pleasure. 

Jayce’s tongue focused on your clit, as he brought his fingers to the entrance of your pussy. Thick digits pressing in and curling on that spongy sweet spot inside. His movements making your thighs shake as you cried out. He moaned against you at your sounds. Neglected cock twitching with anticipation in his boxers. 

“She’s close again.” Viktor said.

He was right. The knot in your core was tightening more and more, ready to snap again. A final focused lap against your clit had you spasming in Viktor’s arms. Your release spraying down Jayce’s chin. The man moaning as he lapped up everything you could give him. Oh, he could taste you for hours. 

When he pulled away, Viktor reached for him. Jayce pressed a heated kiss to his lips. Viktor groaned at your lingering taste on his lips. Something he would enjoy for himself later, but there were more pressing matters at hand. 

He softly lifted you off of him, then slipped his boxers off. After pushing himself further onto the bed, he beckoned you forward. His hand wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you down for a kiss. 

“Ride me.” He breathed against your lips.

You nodded. Viktor hummed with satisfaction at the sight of you. Pupils blown wide, breathing hard, with your pussy absolutely dripping. Something he had only dreamed of before. 

You crawled on top of him, sliding your folds along his long length. Moaning as the head of his cock caught the entrance of your pussy. You moaned with Viktor as you slid down his length. Groaning at the full feeling when you bottomed out. Slowly, you began to move up and down. Slick sounds filling the room along with your breathy moans. 

Hot, wet, and tight, Viktor wouldn’t stand a chance against you. His cock already twitching inside, begging to burst. Thankfully, he was a patient man. Wanting you to enjoy every ounce of pleasure possible this night. 

Looking around you, he felt his cock jolt at a different sight. 

“Fuck, look at that.” 

You leaned your head back, then gasped. Fisting his cock was Jayce, his hand following your movements as you rode Viktor. Testing something, you began to move faster. Jayce’s hand followed, moving faster as well. 

“He wants to fuck you so badly, you know?” Viktor said through clenched teeth, doing his best not to cum yet. 

Your pussy clenched at his words. 

“Oh? You want him too, don’t you?” He teased.

“Mhmm!” You moaned out. 

A heat was growing in your belly. Your impending orgasm building up once again. Viktor groaned at the feeling of your soft walls growing tighter around him. It won’t be long now. 

“Cum for me.” 

Your body obeyed. Pussy clamping around Viktor in a vice-like grip. The sparks of pleasure from the new kind of orgasm had you practically sobbing. Viktor followed as you milked his cock. Hot spurts of cum filling you and sliding down his length. He moaned loudly as he twitched within you. Your tight pussy still milking him for all he had. 

When your body released him, he softly pulled you off of him. Groaning as he watched his spend spill out of your quivering pussy and slide down your thighs. The thought of Jayce’s own joining yours had you shivering. 

“Jayce, I think she’s ready for you.” Viktor called for the other man.

Quickly, Jayce joined you on the bed. Taking no time to line himself up with your soaked entrance. Your hips unconsciously lifted to slide along the head of his thick cock, making you cry out. 

“She’s so fucked out.” Jayce said, moreso to himself.

Pushed you down on your stomach, hand on your back. A loud moan left him as he pushed into your heat. You whimpered at the feeling of him filling you. He was big, and so thick. It felt like he was splitting you in the most perfect way. All you could do was take it. 

He began to thrust in and out of you. Warm chest pressed to your back, forcing his cock deeper and deeper within you. Tears of overstimulation pricked at the corners of your eyes. 

Out of nowhere, you felt your climax hit you like a train. Screaming as Jayce continued to pound into you. Each push of his cock made the pleasure last even longer.

“Fuck! You’re already cumming again?” Jayce was in disbelief. 

He raised your limp body, changing the position to fuck up into you. The new angle making a new orgasm build in you. You didn’t know how much more you could take. 

Each press of the head of his cock to your spongy sweet spot. Sobbing as he abused your overstimulated pussy. 

His strong arms held you up as your body was limp from being used so thoroughly. Just one more orgasm, that’s all he needed from you. To feel your tight pretty pussy squeeze him, make him fill you up.

He groaned at the thought, balls tightening with anticipation. 

Around his length he felt your soft walls fluttering and tightening. You were getting close again. 

Just one more.

He reached around, bringing his finger to your clit. Just one swirl around the sensitive bud had you screaming again. Your release sprayed out, coating his cock and your thighs. Choking out a moan, Jayce filled you up again. His hot seed making you moan with satisfaction. 

Pulling out with a groan, he laid you down onto the bed softly. The mix of his and Vitktor’s spend pouring out of you. A sight that had him groaning again. 

He gave a soft kiss to your back, then pulled away to help you clean up. 

When he returned, he found you curled up and shivering with Viktor. He smiled softly before bringing a cloth between your thighs. You continued to shake with each swipe, but Viktor held you close. 

After you had been cleaned up, the men fed you water and Jayce gave you one of his sweaters to put on. 

“That was amazing.” You said, once your voice had returned. 

“I’m glad you think so.” Viktor pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“Best birthday ever…” You mumbled sleepily.

“Oh!” Jayce exclaimed, jumping up from behind you. “Speaking of your birthday!” He wandered out of the room.

Viktor shook his head with amusement. 

When he returned, Jayce had presents loaded up in his arms. The sight had you waking up, a bright smile on your face. 

“I hope you didn’t think we would forget your birthday.” Jayce said pressing a quick peck to your lips. 

“Thank you!” You said.

“Don’t thank us till you’ve opened them.” Viktor nudged you with a soft smile. 

You took your time opening the gifts. The boys doing their research, getting you various items that you had once pointed out during a shopping trip, and items that they had a feeling you would enjoy. Their thoughtfulness made you teary eyed. 

“Oh thank you so much! Come here.” You pulled both of them in for a hug, planting kisses all over their faces. 

“Anything for the birthday girl.” Viktor teased.

“For our girl.” 

[steddieas-shegoes]

never gonna give you up

for @steddiemicrofic "fake" prompt that needed to include the words: and, around, desert, down, give, gonna, let, never, run, up, you

1987 words | rated e | no cw | tags: modern au, flirting, bisexual steve harrington, handjobs, some platonic stobin, ridiculous and unserious

😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

"This might be the first time someone's deserted me in the middle of a date," Steve said into the phone.

"You aren't counting that one time Sarah left during the movie?" Robin asked.

"She had a family emergency!" Steve exclaimed.

"Right, and I'm definitely going on a date with a dude later."

"You're saying she didn't have a family emergency?"

Steve remembered that date, remembered how she'd even had tears in her eyes when she said her mom called and she had to run home.

"You're gonna unpack that all night, aren't you?" Robin sighed on the other end. "Steve, just go home. Take a week off from trying to get into some poor woman's pants. Leave some of them for me to get into. I beg you."

"What makes you think they'd come running to you?" Steve looked over at a guy standing at the counter of the diner, clearly trying to pick up his order. From the back, he seemed tall, but that could be the black skinny jeans and boots combo.

"Let me talk to them for one minute and I'll have them convinced."

The guy turned as the woman behind the counter walked to the kitchen, his eyes settling on Steve talking on his cell phone at the table in the corner. It's not like there were many people here on a Monday night, nothing else to look at but Steve awkwardly sitting by himself with two glasses on the table.

The guy started to walk over, and Steve recognized him immediately.

"Gotta go, Robs."

"What? How are you done wallowing already?"

He hung up before she could continue, putting his phone face down on the table.

"Well, well, well. Never thought I'd see the day where Steve Harrington shows back up in Hawkins."

Eddie Munson didn't know shit about Steve, never really had. He thought he did, just like everyone else in high school, but the gossip that followed him around never had much truth to it. He really only had two girlfriends for most of high school, and only one of them was serious enough for him to sleep with.

The sleeping around came after his move to Chicago, when he was constantly surrounded by women who would give him all the attention he wanted.

"Never really thought I'd be back," he said with a genuine smile. Kill them with kindness or whatever his grandmother used to say.

It seemed to throw Eddie off at least, his mouth opening and closing around whatever rebuttal he planned.

"So why are you here? Visiting the parents?" Eddie crossed his arms, leaned his hip against the edge of the table.

"Nah, came to visit Dustin Henderson. Staying for a few more days and thought it would be nice to take someone out. I guess she didn't agree," Steve shrugged.

Eddie glanced down at the empty spot across from him, the glass on the table with half of the drink missing. He looked back at Steve's face.

He sat down across from him and smirked.

"So. Come here often, sunshine?"

Steve snorted, shaking his head as he looked up at Eddie.

"Not as often as I would if I was coming to see you," Steve replied, taking a sip of his drink.

Eddie clearly wasn't expecting him to flirt back. He recovered quickly, though.

"I suppose we could fix that, then, huh?"

Steve looked him up and down, taking in the messy bun his curly hair was pulled into, the pen mark on his cheek, tattoos up and down his arm.

"I suppose we could."

Waking up in Eddie Munson's bed was definitely not what he expected when he arrived in Hawkins two days ago, but stranger things had happened.

He opened his eyes to sunlight streaming in through the curtains and Eddie's warm body pressed against his back.

Neither of them had gotten dressed after their shower last night, too tired to do anything more than rinse off the sweat and cum from hours of making each other come undone.

Steve let himself have this. Eddie would kick him out when he woke up, kindly of course, but he'd make it clear to Steve that this was a one night thing. No matter how good it was, Steve wasn't an idiot. He knew Eddie would never actually be interested in a guy like him.

"Mmm. Stop thinkin' s' loud," Eddie's lips brushed against the back of Steve's neck in a half-kiss, sending a shiver down his spine. "'s too early."

Steve smiled to himself, let Eddie's arms tighten around him and hold him close for a bit longer.

"I should probably head back to the Henderson's. Claudia will be worried if I'm not there for lunch," Steve said quietly.

"Just text Dustin, tell him your date went well."

Steve shouldn't get his hopes up. It's not like he was gonna do long distance, and even if he would be willing, there was no way Eddie would.

"I can't lie to him," Steve felt his heart flip flop in his chest at the admission.

Eddie's head lifted and his breath hit the side of Steve's face instead of his shoulder. "Did it not go well? I thought it- well, I thought it went great, actually."

Steve turned in Eddie's arms, facing him, placing his hands on his chest. "It did go well! It did."

"Okay, then…"

"It's just this wasn't exactly a date, was it? You just felt bad for me, probably wanted to see if the rumors were true."

"What rumors?"

"You know. The ones about me sleeping around, being good with my mouth." Steve's eyes searched Eddie's, looking for any hint of recognition. When none came, he continued. "How I let anyone fuck me on the first date?"

Eddie's brows furrowed. "Is that what people say about you?"

"You don't have to act dumb, Eddie. Some of it's true."

Eddie's hands were rubbing up and down his back, making goosebumps appear on his skin. "You are good with your mouth. That one’s true. The rest though? I never believed any of that shit.”

“Really? Why not?”

Eddie’s hand traced along Steve’s only tattoo, a robin placed just under his collarbone. “Because I never gave much thought to rumors. Lord knows most of the ones about me weren’t true.”

Steve thought about all the rumors he’d heard about Eddie in high school.

Back then, he may have believed some of them, but he had firsthand experience with things getting out of hand.

“You can think what you want, but I brought you back here because I genuinely enjoyed talking to you at the diner. I wouldn’t have slept with you if I wanted to get rid of you. Trust me. I’m not really a one and done guy,” Eddie’s hand cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing along his cheekbone. “If you’re in a rush to go, I can’t stop you. But I think staying in bed with you all morning sounds pretty fuckin’ good.”

Steve’s breath hitched, his heart kicked up in his chest. “You know, I’ve actually never bottomed before last night.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Seriously? Never?”

Steve shook his head. “Never found anyone I could trust to be gentle.”

“Was I gentle enough? Shit, you should’ve told me. I used spit as lube, Steve! That couldn’t have been comfortable.” Eddie pulled away a few inches, mumbling to himself in a panic.

“Eddie.” Steve tried to get his attention back on him. “Eds.”

Steve shifted forward, his front pressing against Eddie’s, his half-hard cock finding friction against Eddie’s thigh.

They both groaned as Steve rocked against him again.

“Everything was perfect, Eds. Only thing that would make it better is if I get to watch you come again right now," Steve said against his lips, pushing his hips forward so their cocks brushed against each other.

"Fuck, keep doing that and you'll get your wish, sweetheart."

He was sensitive, worked up from the hot breath against his mouth, the tongue brushing against his bottom lip. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd been this wrapped up in someone, this attentive to the sounds they made, this focused on making sure they both felt good.

The friction was enough on its own to get Steve to the edge, and if Eddie's moans were anything to go off of, he was right there with him.

Steve never felt safe enough to be loud, not until he had Eddie begging him to make noise.

"C'mon, Stevie. Wanna hear how good you feel. Sounds so good when you can't hold it back," Eddie's hand gripped his hip, tugging him closer. They were both leaking precum, dripping down each other's lengths and losing track of where one of them ended and the other began.

Steve couldn't hold it back, didn't want to anyway. Letting Eddie hear how good he felt was a need.

"You gonna come with me, sweetheart?" Eddie gasped out as he wrapped his hand around both of them, slowing his hips to focus on moving his hand, finding the perfect angle and pace to get them both over the edge.

Steve bit his lip and nodded, barely holding back a whimper as Eddie's grip tightened around them.

"Come for me, Stevie."

Eddie's voice had a direct link to Steve's cock, maybe through the hand wrapped around him. Steve came with a shout, curling forward so his forehead fell against Eddie's shoulder.

He was overstimulated, fighting the urge to buck into his hand and pull away at the same time.

Steve pulled his head back to watch as Eddie groaned, cum hitting both of their stomachs as he worked himself through his orgasm.

They both lay there in silence, Eddie's grip loose around them as they both softened. They'd need to clean up before the cum dried in Steve's chest hairs and made them sticky, but moving seemed like an impossible task.

"You live in Chicago now?" Eddie asked suddenly, making Steve jump. He rubbed his cleaner hand on his back in silent apology.

"Yeah," Steve breathed out. "With Robin Buckley. From band?"

"I know Robin. She used to come to my shows before she moved."

"Small world."

Eddie snorted. "Just Hawkins." Eddie sat up, pulling Steve with him. "You know, the guys in my band have been considering moving to Chicago. Think it's a good place for a metal band?"

Steve searched his face for any clues as to what he was really asking. Certainly he didn't expect Steve to know if a metal band would feel at home somewhere.

"I…guess?" Steve answered.

"I'll just text Robin," Eddie wiped his hand on the sheets and reached over to the bedside table to grab his phone.

"Wait. You keep in touch with Robin?" Steve felt like he was being pranked.

"Not as much as I should, but yeah. We caught up last time she visited her parents." Eddie typed on his phone for a moment, then looked up at Steve with a smirk. "Problem with that?"

"No, I'm just kinda shocked she's never really mentioned it." Steve stood up with shaking legs. "I should probably grab a shower and go."

"You normally a runner?" Eddie asked, amused.

"No? Why do you ask?"

"It's just the second time you've been rushing to leave. Thought I told you I wanted you here."

Steve knew what he wanted, and he knew it was too much, too fast, too ridiculous for Eddie to even consider it.

But maybe, if he played his cards right, maybe he could have Eddie for more than today.

"Shower with me?" Steve settled on, pouting his bottom lip out.

"And then?" Eddie pushed.

Steve didn't know what to do, but he knew what he wanted.

"And then we'll go back to the diner and actually eat something together." Eddie nodded, encouraging him to continue. "And then you give me your number."

"For?"

"Planning our next date."

[eldizzle69]

“Sharing a Bed with their Lover”

masterlist

including :: vagastrom

—Alan Mido

•okay uh…. Bro is a little stiff but he’s trying okay

•someone who’s sleeps on his back like a board, unmoving.

•he tries is best to hold you but he’s really scared of hurting you. Like, his hands are filthy with the things they’ve done how can he hold you so gently?

•so basically he lays there while YOU snuggle up to him.

•I see him as a walking heater so just snuggle up and have a good time.

You were sure you've never felt more comfortable in your life. Laid out on your boyfriends chest was the best way to wake up, with one of his arms wrapped around your waist you felt secure. The best thing yet? You got to appreciate your boyfriends sleeping face. Although you always took Alan for an early riser, it seemed he slept in more than he intended. Or at least he was sleeping more than you. "mmm [name]?" called a voiced rasped with sleep. You felt the arm around you tighten and you smiled even more. "Mmm Morning," you hummed and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "Morning," he hummed back and closed his eyes, seemingly enjoying the bliss of waking up to you. And the two of you would stay there, wallowing in each others attention and affection.

—Shohei Haizono

•probably one of the best ghoul guys to share a bed with and I take no criticism on that statement.

•Sho definitely sleeps on his back so just snuggle up however you want to.

•also doesn’t move a lot in his sleep so you don’t gotta be worried about that

• keeps on arm wrapped around you at all times. He’ll never admit it but he likes having you close

•might even play with your hair while dozes off

"Senpai," a soft voice called. Groggily you opened your eye only to see a muscular arm. Your back was to Sho, and you hugged his arm with your head on his shoulder. "Mmmm mornin'," you mumbled out and snuggled further into his arm, clearly not ready for the day, and preferring to stay in his arms. Sho hummed back and moved to where his chest pressed against your back. "We gotta get up soon." You groaned and shook your head, "no." "we have to- Did you just bite me?!"

—Leo Kusanagi

•imma suprise myself and say he’s actually the cuddler in this situation

•he’ll give you shit about you wanting to hold him but in reality HE wants to hold you

•if his words deter you from actually cuddling him he’s gonna be pissed

•your like? Super to take his readings as him wanting to cuddle you.

•once you fall asleep he’s wrapped around you for the rest of the night.

You woke up to a heavy pressure on your chest. Looking down you were met with grey locks of hair. Leo laid snuggly on your chest, snoozing away as if he had not a single care in the world. Reaching your hand up you gently ran your fingers through his hair. You had always enjoyed how soft his hair was, and for once you appreciated all the money he spent on different hair products. "I never gave you permission to touch me," Leo snapped, but you couldn't help but laugh at the way he leaned into your touch more as you pulled your hand away. "Yeah, yeah, i get it," you hummed and let him snuggle back into your chest tiredly, soothed by the feeling of your hand in his hair.

[k-ast]

when tartaglia confronts you about a drunken conversation

part 2 to this

tartaglia x gn!reader

mentions of alcohol, bad past relationships, angst, fluff, established relationship, swearing, not proofread

a/n: struggling sm on this

@redninjakitty14rp @indarius @numberonefanfury thought maybe ygs would wanna see this, hope it's up to standards ⁉️

the first thing you notice when you wake up is a warmth along your side, an arm draped over you. your forehead is tucked into the crook of his neck.

the second thing is surprisingly, no pounding headache. what the hell happened last night? you don't want to disturb the peace, but you have to.

the hot mess you were lying on stirs immediately when you shift off of him. the bed creaking when you stand up gives you away even more.

"hey," tartaglia's morning voice mumbles, "come back." half asleep, his arm pats the space beside him, looking for you. "love, where are you going?"

"just to get something to drink, baby," you reply with a twinge of guilt.

he mumbles something along the lines of "wake me up... when... done..." and falls asleep again.

tartaglia must be tired, you realize, he stayed up to pick you up from hu tao's at 2. so you ignore what he said and let him sleep.

the coffee you'd brewed did nothing to help you remember what happened last night. it probably ended with your sweet boyfriend carrying you home.

you sip from your mug slowly, lost in thought.

"morning, bird's nest," you greet him affectionately, standing at the kitchen island.

to get things off your mind, you almost entirely subconsciously made him breakfast, his favorite.

tartaglia runs a hand through his messy ginger hair, making his way to you. "morning, beautiful," he beams, an arm already around your waist.

peppering your cheek and neck with kisses, he says into your skin, "i could've sworn i told you to wake me up. smells amazing, by the way."

you give a laugh and say, "sorry, i thought you deserved to sleep in. you did take me home at an ungodly hour, after all." you take his face in your hands and press your lips to his.

tartaglia can taste the coffee on your tongue, the exact recipe he knows you love. you think he tastes like unbrushed teeth.

when you pull away gently, he chases your lips with his, soft smile guiding his cheeks.

there's something in his eyes, some unfamiliar uncertainty.

"what?" you ask, wallowing in the deep blue.

"i think we should talk. nothing bad!" he says hastily at your quick expression change. "just... some things i'm curious about from last night."

racing thoughts ensue. did you say something stupid? is he mad about you staying too late, who was there at the party, the fact that you went at all? is he finally sick of your shit?

you figured he would be at some point.

"i'm sorry," you blurt, "for whatever-"

"stop," he squeezes his eyes shut, "yn, it's okay. i'm just... curious. basically, i went to pick you up and you didn't recognize me because you were drunk. you accidentally called me gorgeous and wouldn't let me take you home.

"and then you felt bad for calling me gorgeous, because you were worried your boyfriend, me, wouldn't- wouldn't 'allow' that."

"oh."

"i just-" he sighs. "you know there's no such thing as being allowed in this relationship, right? we should've set this straight when we started dating."

"yeah, i- i know that. we did set it straight, i understand. and i-" you cup his cheeks again, "and i love you for that, tag. it's not your fault i get scared."

"yn, why do you keep saying you're scared? you're not supposed to be afraid of something in our relationship." his panicky voice makes you start to panic.

"keep-?"

"yes, last night. said you were scared to ask me if you do something that actually bothers me. and i tried telling you, you don't!"

"okay, tag, we both know that's bullshit," you start shaking your head, "there's gotta be something-"

"okay, yeah, there is." your heart stops as he gestures between the two of you, continuing, "this conversation makes me disgusted, at myself and all your shitty exes."

"they weren't bad people, we were just bad together-"

"and we're not like that," tartaglia cuts in, almost desperate. "you're perfect, and i swear on my life, yn, i'm not like that. please don't be scared of me."

he is so adorable when he is so in love, you think.

"'m not scared of you," you whisper, pressing your foreheads together. "sometimes i get all in my head, and worry you'll leave."

"i'm not gonna leave," your lover says firmly, and he pulls you in to prove it.

"i know," you say, rubbing circles on his neck when he slowly pulls away. "i love you."

he proceeds to absolutely chow down breakfast, giving you two thumbs-ups and a glowing smile. you have no idea why he scarfs it down with so much enthusiasm, but maybe you should make that meal more.

[cosmiclily]

.ᐟ chapter four: i don’t wanna talk to you anymore

wc: 1.1k

cw: drinking, self loathing, angst (!!!)

After my sixth drink of the night, I decided it was time to look for Vi. Maybe the alcohol surging through my veins would finally give me the courage to do something about these stupid feelings that had been plaguing me for nearly five years.

God, get a grip on yourself.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe I was just tired of wallowing in self-pity, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to say something.

“Hey, I think I’m gonna go look for Vi,” I said, turning to Jinx and Ekko. My voice was steadier than I expected. “I’ll probably regret this tomorrow, but I really need to get some things off my chest.”

Ekko frowned, concern etched on his face. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said cautiously.

Jinx, already slurring her words, waved him off. “Babe, she’s gotta live a little,” she said, her head resting on Ekko’s shoulder. “If I hadn’t made a move, we wouldn’t even be together right now!”

Ekko sighed, clearly torn, but finally shrugged. “Fine, but don’t come yelling at me tomorrow because I let you do this.”

I didn’t answer. Instead, I turned and started searching for Vi.

First, I checked the front yard. Then the bathrooms. With her nowhere to be found, my nerves ramped up. By the time I reached the stairs, my hands were sweating, the push and pull from the people making me even more nervous. The only thing upstairs were the bedrooms. I hesitated, knowing how bad this could go, but pushed forward.

What if she was up here? What if she wasn’t? What if I found her doing something that would certainly hurt me?

I reached the first door on the right and, with a shaky breath, pushed it open.

And there it was.

A dark blue haired girl sitting on Vi’s lap, their lips locked in a kiss that left no room for interpretation. Vi’s hands gripped the girl’s ass, holding her close, her movements confident and natural.

They didn’t even notice me at first, too engrossed in each other to care. But when the door creaked, Vi glanced up, her eyes meeting mine for half a second before the realization dawned on her.

“Y/—” she started, her voice tinged with surprise, but I didn’t wait to hear the rest.

“Oh, I’m sorry” I mumbled, quickly closing the door before either of them could say anything else.

The image burned in my mind, and I felt the tears welling up almost instantly. My chest tightened, my stomach twisted, and I swallowed hard, trying to keep it together as I stumbled back down the stairs, pushing through the intoxicated bodies.

“You were right. I’m going home,” I said in a rush to Ekko, grabbing the drink he was holding and downing it in one go. The alcohol barely registered anymore. “If Vi asks—and she probably won’t because she’s very busy right now—just tell her I wasn’t feeling well and left.”

Jinx and Ekko stared at me, clearly confused and concerned, but I didn’t have the energy to explain. Not now.

“I’ll text you when I get home” I said over my shoulder as I shoved my way out the door.

The cold night air hit me like a slap, but it did nothing to ease the ache in my chest. My mind raced with the memory of Vi on that balcony earlier, the way she’d looked at me, the softness in her voice. How could I have been so stupid?

I thought it meant something. I thought she felt it too. But of course not. Why would she, when she could have anyone she wanted?

And yet, for some ridiculous, naive reason, I’d thought she might choose me.

The walk home felt like an eternity as i tried to keep the tears at bay. By the time I reached the elevator, my chest ached from holding everything in. When the doors opened to my floor, I trudged down the hallway, my feet dragging like weights, and unlocked the door to our apartment.

The moment I stepped inside, the familiar smell of her cologne hit me like a punch to the gut. My eyes landed on the crooked band poster she’d insisted on hanging in the living room. The lead singer, with his smug grin, seemed to mock me as I stood there, crumbling under the weight of feelings I couldn’t seem to escape.

Everything here screamed Vi. The way the cushions on the couch were slightly askew from her sprawling earlier. The hoodie she’d left draped over the armrest. Even the half-empty cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, forgotten in her rush to get ready for the party, felt like a cruel reminder of her.

I dragged myself to the bathroom, after sending a quick text to Ekko —assuming Jinx would be out cold by now, turned the shower to the coldest setting, and stepped in. The icy water shocked my skin, but it didn’t numb the pain I felt inside. I let the water fall over me, hoping it would wash away the hurt, the jealousy, the overwhelming sense of failure. It didn’t.

After what felt like hours, I climbed out of the shower, dried off, and collapsed onto my bed. The sheets felt suffocating.

As I lay there staring at the ceiling, it hit me: I felt like I was in high school all over again. Back then, I’d watch Vi flirt with girls, her confidence magnetic, while I sat on the sidelines, pretending it didn’t bother me. I’d convinced myself then that it was just a phase, that I’d get over it.

But I never did.

Vi is single. She’s free to do whatever—or whoever—she wants. I know that. I know that. But even so, I can’t help but hate her a little right now. Hate the way she makes it impossible to move on. Hate the way she takes care of me, so effortlessly kind, as if it’s nothing. Hate the way she looks at me sometimes, like I’m the most important person in her world, only to turn around and kiss someone else like it’s nothing.

Would it cost her so much to stop being so… her?

Would it hurt her to stop looking at me with those soft eyes, or to stop teasing me in ways that leave my heart fluttering?

If she could just stop being Vi, maybe—just maybe—I’d finally be able to let her go.

As i fall asleep I keep thinking how this time I will get over her, whatever it takes, I can’t keep hurting myself or threatening our friendship this way.

──────────────────────

chapters

notes: reader is a whiny little baby yk guys 😭 but i kinda like her not gonna lie, i would cry too if i saw violet kissing other girls when she should be kissing me !! she’s so real for that

finished watching slocg today great show and renee rapp is in it (and ruby cruz as well but she only shows up for like 5 seconds)

[mooki3-bear]

I Need You pt.2 (paige bueckers x black!reader

Part one <3

Summary: You and Paige finally unite

Warning: Just cursing

word count: 1757

Three months. It’s been three months since me and Paige went on our “break”. 

The first month was the hardest. Just a lot of crying, bargaining, rants, and Chipotle. I sat in my puddle of despair, wondering what Paige was doing.

What she was thinking, hoping the thoughts were about me.

My worst thought was thinking that she had moved on to someone new, or someone that has always been there.

The second month was the month that I told myself to stand the fuck up.

This month had its ups and downs. I moved in with my best friend who welcomed me with open arms. She’s been more than supportive since the very beginning. She comforted me, fed me when I didn’t feel like eating, and took the remote from my hands every time I felt like turning on a UConn game (I'm healing slowly but surely).

I even picked up a hobby! I started taking a ballet class to keep my mind off of things! My bleeding feet are a VERY good distraction.

The third month is when I felt like a new and healed me. My skin was clear, my curls were popping, my body was giving. I felt better.

However, no matter what I did or how much better I thought I was…I can’t get her out of my mind.

“Come on! You’ve been stuck in this house all day! It’s getting sad Mookie” my bestie, Quenlin, says while ripping the blanket from my body.

“My dance class got canceled today and new episodes of my show came out. I just thought I could lay here and wallow all day” I moan while pulling my hoodie over my face. I turn my head to see Quenlin shaking her head.

“Girl, you smell like ten cans of ass and your hair looks a mess. You cannot let this girl get to you like this” She turns to open the curtains.

The blinding light burns my eyes as I wince and pull a pillow over my face. She rolls her eyes as she lays next to me on the bed.

“Let’s go bar hopping tonight! You love that shit” she yells as she shakes my aching body! She wasn’t wrong, bar hopping was probably my favorite activity. I lay there and contemplate whether I should get cute and have fun or lay in the imprint I have made in the bed and cry.

“I’ll buy you Chipotle” and with those four words, I hopped in the shower, got dressed, and was ready to head out the door.

9:30 Pm

Me and quen were on our second bar of the night and I felt alive again. I had flashes of images of Paige in my mind throughout the night but I decided I would deal with that issue when I went home. 

“Girl, can you go order us some drinks? I gotta piss real bad” Quenlin said, doing the potty dance at her grown age. 

“Go ahead, and stop doing that shit” I laugh as she waddles off to the bathroom. I make my way up to the bar and order me and my friend vodka cranberries. 

I twiddled my thumbs waiting for the drinks, when I finally heard it.

“Hey beautiful” My body froze when I heard the voice I had longed for so much but also dreaded hearing. I slowly turned my head to see the beautiful blonde that had been occupying my mind for months.

She looked so good, but also drained.

Words tried so hard to leave my mouth but nothing came out.

“You look good. Like, good. Guess the break up was good to you” She lets out an awkward laugh as I am still in shock but gain the ability to speak.

“Eh. It was ok for me. A lot of crying hehe” I mentally slap myself, who the fuck says that. 

“Yeah, same” She looks down at her feet trying to figure out what to say next.

“Listen, can we talk, please? I wanna fix this. I-”

“Unh Unh! What are you doing here” Quenlin appears from thin air as she jumps in front of me to confront Paige. This breaks me out of my trance as I jump to defend Paige. 

“No, Quen! It’s ok! Me and her are just going to talk outside” I put my hands on my best friend's shoulders to calm her down. She turns to look at me and then back at Paige.

“Fine, but if you try some manipulative shit, it’s me and you” she pokes piage with her finger before walking away. Paige looks back at me “I never liked her. I just want you to know that.”

I laughed as I walked to the door, Paige following close behind. When we get a good distance away from the bar we stop and just look at each other.

I can tell she’s trying to find words to say, I couldn’t find any either.

We stood in silence for a few more minutes before one of us finally spoke.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you feel like shit for so many months. You should have been my priority and I didn’t do that” Paige let out a shaky breath before looking down at the ground. I waited for her to continue but….she just stopped.

“Paige…that's not the only reason why I wanted to take a break. Yes, you ignoring me was a big part of it but there was so much more” She finally raises her head to look me timidly in the eyes.

I take a shaky breath before continuing. “It was the petty comments, the constant arguing, and the insecure feeling I always felt” I started choking up on my words, and the memories of me and the girl I love screaming at each other came flooding back.

“I'm sorry! I was just so stressed with basketball, the interviews, and the constant attention that I guess I got stressed” She quickly tried to defend herself, flailing her arms in the air.

“I understand how stressful that could be but…I would've been there for you. I could've listened to your rants, helped you during solo practice, and helped you calm down when you were nervous about an interview…but you shut me out and started bullshit arguments for no reason. I love you so much. I just wanted to help you” I felt a tear roll down my face.

I saw Paige’s face change from defensive to vulnerable in the middle of the conversation.

I let out a sigh as Paige drops her head, tears falling down her pretty face. “Paige, I love you so much. You’re probably the best thing that has happened to me in a long time” I take her hands in mine “but when we have an issue, you can’t just shut me out or brush it off. We need to talk. We need to express ourselves or else it’s just gonna get worse.”

Paige raises her head once more, looking into my brown eyes with her bloodshot blue eyes. “I know…I wanna be better for you baby. I will do anything to make it up to you. I just want things to go back to the way they were” She brings my hand to her lips, placing a tender kiss upon them.

I felt my skin turn hot as her lips connected to my skin, it’s kind of funny how we were together for so long and she still managed to make me nervous.

“I know it seems like an empty promise but I swear I will do everything that I can to make it up to you. I’ll communicate better and I will make sure to do everything that I can to remind you that you're the love of my…I can’t fucking lose you again y/n” she wraps her arms around my body, leaving another kiss on the top of my head.

On instinct, I wrap my arms around her to as I close my eyes to breathe in her perfume.

I was still angry with her but somehow I knew deep down that she was serious about wanting to be better for me. 

She pulls back to look into my eyes before she places an unexpected but loving kiss on my lips. I felt like I was floating on air as my lips touched the ones that they have been craving for three months. With this simple act, she knew that I forgave her 

As we pull away she rests her forehead on mine. 

“Can we just start over please, I miss you so much” Paige giggles while also sniffling. 

I let out a snort as I placed my hand on her cheek “Well we got a long way to go until we are back to the same place but, I think we’ll be ok”.

2 days later

“Ok! I think that’s the last of my shit” I let out a sigh of relief placing the last bit of my clothes back into me and Paige’s shared closet. I fell back into our bed, missing the smell of our sheets. 

I let out a grunt as Paige ran into the room and jumped on top of me. “Jesus Paige! I think you broke one of my ribs” I try to push her off of me as I let out a laugh.

Paige keeps her position on top of me as she puts her face into the crook of my neck. “I'm sorry, baby. I'm just happy you're back” she sighs as she kisses my neck.

“Ew, can yall wait to fuck until after I leave,” Quenlin says as she brings me some more of my stuff in from the car. I laugh as Paige finally rolls off me with a dramatic groan.

I walk over to Quenlin take the box of stuff from her hands and place it on the floor. “Thank you for letting me stay with you,” I say as I hug her.

“Of course, anytime! However, if this shit happens another time me and Paige are gonna have to tussle. You hear me” she yells towards Paige.

“I love you too, Quen” Paige blew a kiss to her.

Quen rolls her eyes before giving me a kiss on the cheek and leaving. 

“Why must y’all fight over me”

“Because you’re the most important thing to us, baby” Paige leaves another kiss on my lips before hopping back onto the shared bed that I will never leave again.

Y'all I am so fuckin sorry this came out so late! But here yall go <3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Stolen Goods 3

Warnings: noncon and other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

Ft. Lloyd Hansen, petite!pregnant reader

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

You hit the back of the trunk with your fist, the tires put to the limit as the man drives without caution. He's honked several times and screeched to many jarring halts. You're trapped in more than just that compartment, bouncing around with the groceries, you're enshrined in a fervour of fear and despair. 

Why is this happening to you? Who is this man? What is he going to do to you? 

Well, what has he already done? 

“Please, sir, I won't tell anyone,” you beg through the back seat, "please. Just take me back--" 

"Do you like classic rock? Jazz?" He asks as the car swerves and he switches lanes. Holy shoot, is he on the highway?  

"What? Please, I promise--" 

"You're distracting me, sweet stuff, you're gonna get us both pancaked by a sixteen-wheeler," he clucks, "just calm down and enjoy the music." 

He flips on the stereo and the local pop station plays. He hums along for a moment, "Ariana, nice." He turns up the familiar top ten and you whimper. 

This is surreal. You really can't believe it. It all happened so quickly. The way he touched you, the way you just stood there and let it happen, then how he just locked you in here! Who does that? Who lets someone do that? Who doesn't raise her voice and tell him to stop? Or ignore him and get in the car and drive away? 

You. You're stupid. You should have been patient and waited for Jake. You should have done so much differently.  

Your tears spring as easily as ever. Your hormones have you always ready to overflow and now seems as suiting as that cat food commercial. You crumble completely, giving up on begging, and bawl. You're going to die, your baby too. 

Maybe that's your fault too. You were so scared when you saw the positive. When you realised the condom broke. There was that split second you wished it wasn't true. When you hoped that it might undo itself. Then you wanted it. You still do. Your baby. Things aren't perfect but you can make them better. 

You jostle with the paper bags, wallowing in your resignation and dread. Time throttles you until it feels like the whole world is on your chest. You hug your belly and apologise to your child. You're supposed to take care of them. 

When the car stops, the sudden dearth of sound slaps you in the face. You sniffle and listen with breath bated. The driver's side opens and dips. He stands and his footfalls stride undaunted towards the trunk. 

You brace yourself. You can't give up yet. The lock clicks and the lid lifts. You push it up before he can open it all the way but he has his hand on your neck before you can leap out. 

"Oh, baby cakes," he squeezes and you cough, "you don't think I'm that stupid, do you?" 

The dimming sky shrouds his figure and he puts cold metal to your cheek, "you don't wanna get yourself hurt. Or the kid, huh?" He presses the metal barrel firmly to your temple, "I don't wanna hurt you either but you gotta give a little." 

"S-sorry," you choke out and latch onto his thick wrist, teetering on your knees as the rest against the edge of the trunk, "I---I--" 

"I know, baby. You're scared. Change is terrifying but I heard you talking to the deadbeat," he pulls the gun away and holsters it. He eases you forward and helps you put your feet to the ground. He keeps a strong hold on you, "you can do better." He smirks, "hi, I'm better, but you can call me Lloyd." 

You gape at him. Is that a joke? 

“And you are...” he enunciates your name. “Sorry about your purse, I tossed it some ditch, but I got the important shit out of it.” 

“Huh?” You blink at him dumbly. 

“Phone’s wiped too. So, I’ll probably just break that down for parts--” 

“Wait, what? Why—please, why are you doing this?” 

“I’m not too sure myself, shortcake, but we’ll figure it out.”  

He slips his hand down to your wrist and pulls you away from the car. He shuts the trunk and the noise echoes off the high ceiling. You look up at the interior of the garage. Several cars are parked in the space. What kind of place is this? 

“Come on, you don’t wanna hang out in here,” he snorts and tugs you to follow him. 

All you can do is let him guide you. You keep your free hand on your stomach as your eyes burn. You can’t give up. You have to keep going for your baby. 

He takes you up a short set of steps and into a house just as colossal as the garage. He looks down at your feet as you stand on the mat. He tuts. Your slides were lost somewhere in your struggle. Your feet are cold and dirty. 

“Hm, well... what now?” He asks. 

“What now?” You squeak. “What do you--” 

“Look, honey buns, I’m not asking you,” he turns and keeps his hand around your wrist, walking you forward as if you’re on a leash. 

You’re confused. What does he mean? He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. What kind of man just does this spontaneously? 

“Erm, Lloyd,” you say softly, “it’s... not too late to take me back.” 

“Ah, but you’re wrong, sweet stuff. It’s way too late,” he snickers. “I scrubbed the traffic cams and the surveillance at the grocery store. It’s all gone. You’re gone.” He stops you in a bright foyer and faces you, “I don’t give my toys back.” 

[qinche-cvmslvt]

Metafiction

Pt 5

Content Warning: NSFW, 21+, Smut, Angry Sylus, makeup sex, this chapter is just one giant sex scene.

A/N: Well that took a turn we weren’t expecting..or deep down did we know that that’s how things were going to go? And was that Xavier? Hmm, who knows..guess we just gotta keep reading then hey?

“They were after you…and your evol.”

~

Sylus’ words stuck in your mind over the next several days.

What the hell does this all mean? Why do you have an Evol? None of this makes sense. None of this made sense in the first place but this? This was just getting too strange for you.

But you can’t deny what happened. What you saw. Everything just feels like its collapsing around you.

The worst part was you’re not even that sad that you almost died.

Right now you were curled up in bed crying again because you felt betrayed. You felt used and stupid for letting yourself enjoy your day with him.

You were just starting to accept that maybe you did have feelings other than hatred towards Sylus.

But now you’re back to square one.

The door to the bedroom opens and Sylus walks in, he approaches the bed and is standing next to you.

“Time to get up.”

You don’t move, don’t even look at him.

“No.” You say softly.

“Get up.” He pulls the blanket off you.

You still don’t react.

“No.”

Sylus’ jaw clenches.

“You’ve been wallowing in this bed for a week now. Get up.”

“How about you just fuck off and leave me alone?”

Sylus grabs your arm and pulls you up.

“Let go!” You start hitting at his arm.

“Look at me!” Sylus commands.

You shake your head and grab at his arm and start digging your nails in trying to break the skin.

“What are you a cat?”

“Let me go!”

Sylus starts pulling you to the bedroom door.

“Sylus let go!”

A teal light shines and Sylus is flung out of the room.

You stand there horrified looking at your trembling hands..

what..the..fuck?

Black red mist starts seeping in and before you can react your hands are bound together.

Sylus steps through the door rubbing his shoulder.

“Seems you need a lesson on how to control that thing.”

“Sylus! Release me!” You try wriggling your wrists free but you can’t.

Sylus just grabs your bound wrists and takes you through the compound.

You protested every step of the way. You even drop to the floor but Sylus just picks you up and throws you over his shoulder.

You try to punch at his back but with how your hands are bound you just can’t get the force you need.

He takes you to a room that has a massive table in the middle, food was placed all around the table. A couch was off to the side and more books were placed on shelves on all the walls.

He sits you down at the table. Keeping your hands bound.

“What are you doing Sylus?!”

Sylus pulls up a seat and sits next to you. He grabs a fork and puts a bit of pasta on it. He holds it up near your face.

“Open up.”

That’s when you do something you never thought you would. You spat. You spat at Sylus.

For a moment he’s stunned. But that faded quick as his eyes glowed a dangerous red. His brows furrowed.

His hand goes to the back of you head and pulls your hair.

“Are you really this stupid?!”

“For trusting you? Yes!”

Sylus swipes at the table sending all the plates of food flying off.

“Don’t you see we’re one step closer to having all the answers?!” He forces you bent over the table. Pressing his body against yours.

“Why are you being so hostile towards me?!” He yelled.

“You used me! You tricked me!”

He scowls. Pulling you back to sit you down on your chair.

“How? Hmm? I never said why we were going out! You assumed it was something more!”

You can’t help it but a mixture of frustrated, angry and broken tears start falling down your face.

“Fuck you!” You sob.

“Fuck me huh?!”

Sylus pulls you so that you’re sitting on the chair with him straddling him.

He forces your head down and captures you in a kiss, you try to pull away but his grip on your hair is keeping you in place.

He keeps kissing you, his free hand holding onto your hip tightly. You start hitting his chest but he wasn’t relenting.

You start sobbing again in between kisses. The hand pulling on your hair comes down to your cheek and starts wiping away the tears.

“Why don’t you show a little gratitude hm?”

Sylus keeps his hand on your face, keeping you close to his.

“For what?!”

“I have been trying to help you this entire time. Trying to find a way to get you back home.”

You feel a pang in your chest and try to pull away but Sylus keeps you steady and flush ontop of him.

“You’ve done nothing but keep me captive, manipulate me and assault me since I’ve been here!”

Sylus frowns, a dangerous look on his face…mixed with a bit of..guilt? Pain? You weren’t quite sure..

His grip on your hip tightens and a heavy silence falls between you.

His glistening red orbs glare into yours and you feel a shiver creep down your spine. What was he going to do to you?

He lets out a heavy sigh and rests his forehead on your shoulder. Both hands on your hips and you just listen to him breathing against you.

After a moment his arms wrap around you and presses your bodies together in a hug.

Your body stiffens and you hold your breath. This was not what you expected.

“You make me so fucking angry.” He finally murmurs. His voice low and you can feel his chest rumble.

You can feel his erection starting to grow between your legs. His hands go back to your hips as he sits back and pulls your pelvis tight against his, grinding you against his hardening length.

You look away trying so hard not to give away how fucking good that felt. How it was making your cunt ache with need. But Sylus can feel it. He can feel the heat radiating there.

The red and black tendrils that were binding your wrists together vanish. Sylus’ hands grab your bottom as he stands up. The sudden movement forces you to hold onto his shoulders for support. You still refuse to look at him though.

He starts walking over to the couch.

“You literally come crashing into my world, my life..”

He sits down on the couch. Keeping you on top of him. His hands pulling at the hem of your nightgown and sliding it up your body.

“Challenging me, defying me..” he secures a hand on your hip again while the other travels up your back and grabs the back of your neck.

Forcing you to turn your gaze back to him. Your faces so close you can feel his breath on your lips.

“Making me burn for you…”

Your breath quickens, your hands still holding onto his shoulders. He captures your lips with his again but you don’t fight it this time, you lean into it. Accepting his tongue into your mouth, enjoying the way he gently bites at your bottom lip. A sweet melody of breathy moans escape you and you start rolling your hips slowly. Feeling Sylus’ restrained erection slowly rubbing against your aching, needy pussy.

Sylus lets out a deep groan and holds you tighter. His mouth starts trailing down your jaw line and neck, kissing nibbling, licking, tasting your sweet salty skin.

You should stop this. Stop this cycle of arguing which leads to fucking. You know deep down none of this is going to be a happy ending for either of you y/n.

You tilt your head to the side, giving him more of your neck. Your eyes squeezed shut, your mouth forming a small ‘o’ as more sweet moans leave your lips.

But you don’t stop it. You can’t. You need this. You need him. In every possible way.

“I’ve ached for you.. ever since I first touched you..” you feel him murmur against your neck. He drags his tongue up your neck till he gets to a spot just under your ear lobe and gently bites you.

“Ngh..” that made your whole body quiver. Especially your cunt and you can’t help yourself grinding against him again.

“Stand up.”

He releases his hold on you and you pull yourself off him. Standing between his legs.

“Take off your clothes..” he whispers.

His own hands starting to unbutton his shirt. You pull your night gown off over your body and let it fall to the floor next to you.

Sylus’ eyes look you up and down as he discards his shirt. Now unbuckling his belt so that he can get rid of his restricting pants.

“Panties too..” he commands and you oblige. Pulling them slowly down your thighs while he pulls his own pants and boxers down and kicks them off from around his ankles.

Your breath hitches in your throat. You’re seeing Sylus completely naked for the first time. You take in the glorious sight. His hard muscles and tan skin, broad shoulders and chest. You can feel your arousal starting to leak out of you as you finally take in the sight of his large throbbing cock. Erect for you.

“Come here..”

You mount Sylus, thighs spread either side of him. His hands on your waist holding you up. Your hands gripping his shoulders.

He’s looking up at you, his breath heavy but you’re the same. Searching his eyes, for something.

“It’s an ache I can’t seem to resist…” he kisses you once more and at the same time he’s rubbing your slick folds on the head of his cock. Teasing your entrance.

“Sylus..” you moan against his lips.

Why was he saying all this? Why doesn’t he just throw you down and take you like he usually does?

“Fuck.. the way you moan my name..” he slowly starts to press himself into you. Your hole still tight from the lack of foreplay.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders and you whimper at the feeling of him stretching you.

“I think about that sweet sound every second… every day.” He groans out.

Sliding deeper into you, feeling your hot, wet walls relaxing the deeper he goes.

Once he’s all the way in he pauses, just letting his cock throb inside you, feeling your muscles quiver momentarily around him.

He pulls his face back, looking into your eyes.

“I want to watch you fuck me.”

Your face goes red. “What?” You whisper.

He slides his hands down from waist to your hips. Gripping you tightly. He slowly rolls his hips and the pressure it puts deep inside you makes you moan out.

“I want to look at your face while you fuck me.” He repeats. His voice low and dripping with lust.

You bite your lip and look into his red lust filled eyes. You move your hands to the side of his neck and start with rolling your hips up and down, side to side.. trying to loosen yourself up around him.

Sylus’ face twists in pleasure and he lets out a breathy moan. You felt exquisite doing that.

You start lifting yourself up and down nice and slowly until you find a steady rhythm.

“F-fuck..” you whisper. His cock just feels so perfect in you. The way your pussy drags up and down his girthy length just makes you want to scream in pleasure. Sylus feels the same way. He grips your hips even tighter now. Definitely going to leave bruises.

The wet noises and squelching of your pussy fill the room. Combined with the sounds of yours and his moans and grunts. It creates a filthy symphony of pleasure and desire.

Sylus starts to match your rhythm, bucking his hips up.

“Hah.. tell me..” his eyes still very much on yours.

“Do you still..hate me..?” His voice breathless.

You feel yourself moving faster, desperate..

“Mn..y-yes..” you moan.

A small smirk appears on Sylus’ face. He starts thrusting up into you, harder, faster.

“F-fuck..yes!yes! I still hate you!”

You’re trying desperately to match his impressive speed. Slamming yourself down on him. Sylus growls and moans.

“You look so beautiful like this..!”

Your hands grip the back of his head pulling his hair. You come crashing down on his lips. Swallowing each others moans.

“Are you gonna fucking cum for me?” He growls against your lips.

Just when you thought he couldn’t get any faster, he does, slamming himself into you. Reaching that precious spot that will be your undoing.

“F..yes! I’m…gonna cum!” You cry out struggling to speak.

That familiar fluttering feeling builds in your core.

He bites your bottom lip. “Fuck you’re getting so tight..”

“Oh god..S.Sylus!” You scream out. Your whole body tightens. Your grip on his hair so tightly, threatening to rip chunks out.

“I’m cumming !” He holds you tighter against him but he doesn’t stop thrusting into you. Your hot wet walls gushing around him, vibrating and squeezing him.

“Fuck!”

Before you can comprehend anything Sylus has flipped your positions. He’s laid you down on the couch and threw your legs over his shoulders. You didn’t even feel his cock leave you.

He fucks into you deeper than before sending you into over stimulation.

“S-sylus..stop..” you whimper. Your legs shaking.

But he doesn’t, he can’t. Wet slapping noises driving him into an erotic frenzy.

Tears spilling down your cheeks as you’re filled with a pleasurable pain from his raw, animalistic fucking.

Sylus slows down for a moment and wipes the tears off your cheek?

“Are you okay?” He breathes heavily.

The show of concern melts your heart and you nod.

He picks up his speed and roughness again, enjoying the way you’re absolutely wrecked under him.

You feel it again, you’re approaching the edge of having another fucking orgasm.

Sylus feels it. Your hot, wet walls constricting him, sucking him in. He moans so loud for you.

You throw your head back, your eyes rolling back into your head. Mouth open. Your whole body trembles as wave after wave hits you. You’re screaming out Sylus’ name repeatedly.

“Fuccckkk!” Sylus stills as he cums hard and deep in you.

His thick seed coating your insides. He shudders with every spurt of cum that gets released.

You think you hear him whimper for a second but honestly you can’t tell. Your mind is in a fucking state of total euphoria that you can’t even remember your own name.

Sylus pulls his spent cock out of your wrecked, tender pussy. He eases your legs down and collapses beside you on the couch.

Both of you breathing so heavy as if you’ve run a marathon.

He gathers you up in his arms, holding you as close as possible to him, despite being drenched in sweat. Your legs tangled together in a sticky mess. You can feel the mixture of his cum and your pussy juices seeping out of you, dripping onto the couch.

But you two don’t move, you stay in this embrace.

Sylus is absentmindedly drawing shapes on your arm. His eyes closed and he’s humming a soft tune.

“Sylus..?” You call to him softly.

“Hmm?” His hum was so low and filled with bass.

He doesn’t stop his little humming tune as he waits for you to keep speaking.

You nestle in closer to him and decide you just want to stay in this moment a little longer. He gives you a little comforting squeeze. And not before long you hear his breathing steady.

He’s fallen asleep. You can’t help but smile a little.

And as if his sleeping form was contagious, you feel your own eyes growing heavy. You fall asleep listening to the sounds of his breathing.

I think we need a cold shower after this one y/n…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[devils-dares]

Super self indulgent buttt could I get some Carmy Fluff ! Maybe reader calls Carmy over for help with cleaning their apartment/needing help cooking due to executive function issues !! Or vise verse :)

thanks for getting me out of my slump, wrote this in one night :)

wordcount: 721

-----

You looked at the pile of laundry in the corner of your bedroom. Blinds closed, dirty sheets, cups and plates stacked in haphazard piles.

You haven’t taken care of yourself in days, evidence of it lay in the pimples that mar your face, and the smell of the perfume you wore into the office going rotten on your skin.

It’s time to call in the big guns, you think.

A phone call and fifteen minutes later, you hear clattering around your apartment. You sink further into your bed, embarrassment heating your cheeks, turning you red. A few windows open, and the chime of the washer rings across the apartment. You hear grumbling and movement in your kitchen, he’s looking for the lighter, the starter went out in the stove and you didn’t call to get it fixed yet. The pot scrapes against the metal grates of your stove, and you hear ingredients plonk into the water, he must be making a stew. The floor creaks under the weight of his steps, and he knocks on the door before he enters.

“Hey, Birdie.” Carmy says softly, seeing your back to the door. He straightens out piles of laundry and opens the shades just a little so he can get some light in. “Gonna warm the shower, then I’ll come get ya.” He leaves, and the pipes creak loudly before the showerhead shoots hot water.

He walks over to the kitchen to check the stew before coming to get you. He comes around the other side of the bed and smiles at you, brushing your matted hair out of your face. Extending his hand, Carmy waits for you to take it. The smile grows into a soft grin as your fingers tangle with his, and he pulls you out of bed.

“Look at ya, Birdie. So pretty.” You know he’s a liar, and he’s probably fighting off the recoil from your stench, but he lets nothing slip. You don’t speak, even as he strips you and puts you in the shower himself, or when he sits on the closed toilet lid instead of leaving the bathroom. You don’t dare speak when he tells you about the restaurant, and how he and Syd finally perfected that damn recipe. He doesn’t say anything when you shampoo thrice, or scrub til your body turns red. He doesn’t flinch when you sit under the stream of hot water for a while. He simply grabs your towel from the dryer and wraps you in it before wrapping your wet hair for you. He rubs lotion on your flaky skin and dresses you in soft clothes.

Carmy takes you to the couch, and you notice the first load in the washer is done, the blankets and pillow covers on the couch smelling like clean laundry and scent beads. He stirs the stew and then starts on your bedroom, stripping the mattress of your sheets before throwing those in the washer.

“Stew smells delicious.” You say, breaking your bout of silence since he’s been here. It’s a soft smile you get in return.

“Yeah? Michael’s recipe, called it ‘everything and the kitchen sink’.”

“Thank you, Carm.”

“Always, Birdie.” He clicks on your favorite movie, letting it distract you as he empties the dirty dishes from your room. You’re completely encapsulated in the film when he sits down next to you again, right in time for the ending. You lean forward in your seat, moving your mouth to the words said on-screen.

Carmy smiles. Your sheets were clean, clothes were in the wash. You’d showered and now you’d be eating soon. He did his job, and now he was going to dote on you relentlessly.

“You gotta go back?” You ask quietly, and he shakes his head.

“Syd and Richie can handle it. Marcus made these beautiful cakes, said he wants you ‘round to taste ‘em soon.” He says, making sure you’re thinking about the future and not wallowing in your current thoughts.

“I’ll be by.” You smile, and he can finally have some relief, you’re back in some capacity.

“I’ll tell him. Stew?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“Here, just a little longer.” You say, shifting to lay against him. The tips of his fingers get that excited tingle in them.

“Long as you need, Birdie. I’m here.”

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 11.1 (MBJ x OC)

A/N: Ummm so welcome backkk! This is 11.1 because there's a second part to this chapter (I know... my self control keeps getting worse lolol) But I hope you enjoy!

TW: grief

“I’m never fucking drinking again,” Raven moaned to herself as she stumbled out of the comforts of bed. She felt like hell, if hell had a truck run over its head a few dozen times. 

Raven generally considered herself an early riser but nothing could pull her out of bed that morning after what was, objectively, the dumbest night of her life. Part of her wished she had had one or two more drinks so she could have officially transitioned into the ‘blackout drunk’ phase. So that she would, at least, be spared the embarrassing memories. But no, every horrible moment of the night from dancing wildly at the bar to Michael saving her was etched into the crevices of her brain with shocking clarity. 

Now, it was after noon and Raven still found herself wanting to be curled under her blanket asleep so she could escape her embarrassment. 

A knock at the door pulled her out of her wallowing self pity. She did not make an attempt to move, expecting Tiffany to answer. However, when the voice of their landlord rang out and her knocking persisted, she quickly slid on her robe to open the door. She decided Mrs. Winters would have to get over the fact that she looked like death reincarnated. 

“Rough night, dear?” 

Raven grimaced for a moment, she did indeed look as terrible as she felt. 

“Something like that,” Raven offered a tight smile, her body slumping against the door. “W-what can I do for you, Mrs. Winters?” 

“Oh I’m just letting everyone know that we had a pipe burst on the floor above. We’ll have folks in and out and you might hear some noise and stuff. But if you see any leaking into your unit, give me a ring?” 

“Of course. Will do. Thanks, have a good one,” Raven tried her best to politely shoo the woman away. However, she lingered. 

“Oh I meant to tell you, that boyfriend of yours is just such a good egg. So kind and polite. Admittedly I haven’t met many famous people,” she laughed. “But you just don’t expect them to have such good manners, you know?” 

Raven stopped. “My boyfriend?? Sorry… When was he here?” 

“He stopped by this morning. Gave me a check for your rent for the rest of your lease. Oh and asked where your mailbox was, said he wanted to drop something in it.” 

Raven was worried her jaw might come completely unhinged as the woman spoke. 

He did what?? 

“Are you alright, dear??” 

“Y-Yea, yea. Just… a bit of a surprise. Thank you.” 

And with that, Raven immediately closed the door, not listening to the elderly woman’s reply. 

“This nigga… I hate him,” she muttered to herself as she slumped against her door. 

Every cell in her body knew that was not true. But she also knew that everything she had told him last night was still accurate. She was too tired to forgive him and not just him… anyone ever again. The world has used up all of her second chances and she did not have it in her heart to be disappointed by him again. The narrative in her brain was so set in stone, she did not think anything he could say or do would make her believe anything else. She could not even make herself go retrieve the note that was apparently waiting for her in her mailbox. 

“Such a coward,” she grumbled as she flopped back into bed. 

She stared at her phone for several minutes, her text thread with Michael open. She wondered what she could even say? Thank you?

She knew any conversations demanding she pay him back or he rescind the money would be moot. Even if she had the mental fortitude to argue with him right now, she would still lose. But she could not just accept it without trying to push back. 

She typed and erased and typed and erased before lamely landing on: 

Raven: You can’t pay my entire rent. I can’t accept that. 

Raven: I don’t want that.

Michael: Yea you can. Told you… gonna show up every day tryin’ to fix us. You just gotta let me.

Raven: Money isn’t gonna fix this, Michael. 

Michael: I know. But it can fix the tangible things I fucked up for you

Michael: So let me fix that for you. 

Raven paused, as a warm sensation filled her, a warmth she had not felt in over a month now. The warmth of being cared for. She had never had someone take care of her without wanting something in return, except Michael. Even when their relationship was built on transactions, he still took care of her without needing or asking for something from her. The book deal, her rent were just the tangible examples of how he had stepped up to right the wrongs he could and she could not deny that those actions meant something, softened something inside her. 

He was doing exactly what he promised he would do the night before. He was fixing what could be, he was showing with his actions that she meant something to him. And yet, that blockade that stopped that belief from taking root was still there, still prohibiting her from believing these actions were anything more than a skilled manipulation. 

He would draw her back in, he would not change, and when he got ready, he would hurt her again. That’s what everyone in her life did. 

Raven: It doesn’t change anything

Michael: I know… didn’t expect it to.

She tossed her phone to the side and grabbed her pillow, screaming into it as her frustration got the better of her. The complex web of conflicting feelings with Michael B. Jordan trapped at its center only continued to grow. She wanted him to let her go, to stop caring and trying and going out of his way for her because that fit into the narrative nailed to the cross of her brain, it would confirm her beliefs and fears. 

But instead he continued to do the things that made her fall in love with him the first time, things that only reignited the dimmed but still existent flame that was her love for him. And she knew she would never get over him if she kept letting that happen, kept letting him in. 

So she did not even respond. Instead, she just closed the thread and tossed her phone to the side. 

“Let him go, Rae,” she demanded to herself. “You don’t deserve him and he doesn’t love you.” She repeated that a few times before it felt real again, before all that had started to soften was once again as solid as a block of ice. 

***

“You look like shit,” Alex moaned as she watched Michael’s makeup artist, Shanta, struggle to make him look less like a living zombie ahead of his Oprah interview. 

They were tucked away in a suite in Oprah's sprawling LA estate. It was difficult to make Michael feel poor but Oprah was certainly one of the few people in the world who could do so. 

“Thanks, appreciate that.” 

“You know I don’t believe in lying to you. Make sure you get those bags under his eyes,” she instructed. “Alright, this is it. Final stretch. Movie’s out and every review is stellar so far. Do this interview, it’ll air this week, Oscars on Sunday and then you can sleep. Though I bet it’s not the schedule keeping you up? Talked to her since the premiere?” 

Michael forced his body not to sag at the mention of Raven as to not disturb the hard work of the woman trying to make him look alive after days of no sleep.  

“She texted me about the rent thing the next morning. But it’s been radio silence ever since.” 

It had only been a few days since the fiasco after the premiere but Michael’s concern for Raven had not diminished one bit. He  could not let her go as she requested but he tried his hardest to respect her desire for space. His heart was stuck in the quicksand that was Raven and he had no desire to pull himself out. He wanted to be right there. He knew eventually he would have to accept defeat, accept that she had moved on. But he could not do it while she still questioned her own deservedness. She could hate him for the rest of his life, it would be her right. But his soul could not allow her to live thinking so lowly of herself. So if he had to pay 30 years of rent or call in favors to make her life easier and make her see that she deserved care and someone to sacrifice for her, he would do it. It was high time someone in her life put her above themselves. 

“Well, at least she talked to you. That’s something. You’re doing what she asked. Sis has lived a life, she needs time and space. Keep doing what you're doing. Except for the no sleep. For the love of God, by the Oscars, please get a good night’s rest. That’s your night.” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Alex…” 

She scoffed. “You’ve won the big four, Mike. It’s not just because I believe you deserve it… Statistically, Best Actor is yours. The Oscars is your night. Have a little faith in yourself.” 

“I hear you. I just don’t wann-” 

“Excuse me?” A young man poked his head in the door. “Apologies for interrupting. I’m a PA. Just wanted to let you know that we’re almost ready? I can take you out to the garden when you’re ready.” 

“Be right out. Thank you,” Alex called. 

Shanta did her last quick finishing touches before Alex gave him her customary once over. 

“Shanta, my girl, you’re a miracle worker per usual.” 

They both offered Shanta their thanks, Michael rolling his shoulders before heading out the door to walk out to the gardens. 

He had met and interviewed with Oprah once before so he was not particularly nervous. But despite having done millions of interviews, there was always a kernel of nerves right beforehand that he could just never shake. 

He was dressed in slacks and a light black sweater, thankful for a cooler day as he walked out into her expansive gardens where the Oprah Winfrey waited for him. The cameras were already rolling, capturing footage that may or may not make into the hour-long special. 

“The man of the hour!” she called, her arms stretched wide to wrap Michael in a hug. “Actually I think man of the year is more appropriate. Welcome. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you here.” 

“Thank you, thank you. It’s so good to be here.”

“Have a seat,” she gestured at the very comfy chair across from hers. “And we can jump right in.” 

***

Raven’s head was propped against her fist as she stared at her computer. A sentence. That was the grand total of her hard work for that Wednesday afternoon. But it was something, she supposed. Weeks of hard work had amounted to maybe two or three pages of her book. She had been offering Angelina vague answers on her progress, ducking and dodging her to avoid admitting that there was no way in hell she could have a draft by March 15 like they talked about. 

“Rae? You busy?” 

She turned in her chair toward the door to find Tiffany’s head poking in. 

“Nope… I’ll never be busy again at this rate,” she grumbled. “What’s up?” 

“I just turned on the interview… if you want to watch?” 

Raven scratched her head, unsure if she could even watch him? See him happy and thriving without her? Despite everything happening between them though, she could not pretend there was not a part of her that still wanted to celebrate this moment in his career. Interviewing with Oprah the week he was poised to win his first Oscar? How could she ever forgive herself if she did not watch this? Even if it hurts? 

“I’ll… be there in a sec. Thanks, Tiff.” 

Raven let out a deep sigh before she grabbed the blanket off her bed and dragged herself to the living room. The interview had already started and he looked gorgeous. Tired, she could tell, in the way he constantly had to readjust his posture, in the bags under his eyes that the makeup artist could not quite fully cover. But even at his worst, he looked captivatingly good. 

Raven found herself studying him so intently that she did not even comprehend the words he and Oprah were sharing. She just watched him and his mannerisms, she focused on the glimmer in his eyes that sparked every so often. She missed looking into his eyes, missed how expressive they were.  

This moment only amplified how much she missed him, missed hearing the deep baritone in his voice and the spark in his eyes when he spoke about his passions. She missed his bright and uninhibited laughter, how his hands were always on her in some way. She just missed him. But she had pushed him away, had told him to let her go. And even if he had not fully let go of her yet, she felt too scared to open that door again, even if her soul ached for her to. Particularly when he continued to try to show up for her in small ways. 

And despite how angry she still wanted to be at him, she had never had anyone show up for her quite like this… try for her like he did. And everyday, her brain took up far more mental space than it should have, debating whether she should follow her foolish heart and forgive him or listen to her logical brain and cast him aside. Days passed and she still did not know the answer. 

“So I’ll admit,” Raven’s ears finally started to pick up the conversation between Oprah and Michael, “I watched Waves more times than appropriate. But Gayle and I saw it at Sundance and we both thought it was just the most heartbreaking and poignant look at loss and grief that we had ever seen. While still being engaging and funny and so relatable. The journey your character goes through is just… I mean I think grief is one of the few universal experiences that we all will have at some point. And you really brought that to life through this character and his struggles with addiction. And the fact that you filmed this while engaged in completely different projects with complex characters like Killmonger in Black Panther and Adonis in Creed 3… I’m curious what you pulled from to give that performance?” 

Michael shifted in his seat as he chuckled, Raven had missed how passionate he got about this project, even though he had been talking about it and doing press for it since they first started dating. She knew he had not truly expected the role to blow up in the ways it did but she could tell he was grateful for it, nonetheless. 

“Well first, thank you. Yea aside from Oscar Grant, Andre was the hardest character I’ve ever played and he stretched me as an actor in ways, you know, I didn’t really expect? And I learned so much from him in his sort of journey through grief. You know, when I read the first script, the line ‘grief is the final stage in love’s evolution,’ really stuck out to me. When you lose someone, grief, this enduring pain you feel, is that love shifting and changing because it has nowhere to go, there’s no outlet for it anymore. And so, Andre really reframed my own thoughts on grief and loss and how I process that and allowed me to pull from personal experiences with loss to pour into that character.” 

“Yea I will say, that line was one of my favorites. I sat with that long after the credits rolled.” 

“Yea same. I remember sitting a-and thinking about that one for a while after reading it. And I loved that even in the more comedic moments of this movie, we still had those lines that made you wanna stop and really sit with what the characters were going through.”  

“Definitely, I was dissecting this movie for weeks after. It’s just amazing. So I do want to shift gears to talk about this moment you're experiencing because of this movie. This really is the biggest moment of your career. You’re nominated for your first Oscar and a favorite to win, so far in 2023, you’ve won a SAG Award, Golden Globe, and BAFTA. And you, as of two days ago, just had your directorial debut in Creed 3. First question, how are you still awake?” Both of them shared a laugh. “But serious question, how has this moment felt? How does it feel to be having this moment at this stage of your career?” 

“Oh wow, when you list it like that, I don’t know how I’m awake either,” he chuckled. “But seriously, you know… it’s been a ride. I know you’ve felt this too but you know, you don’t often take a moment to just pause and soak it in. You finish one interview or award show and your mind automatically just jumps to the next one. And I think what I’ve been trying to force myself to do in the later weeks of this insane time is just to slow down and enjoy it. Not rush through it and really enjoy the fruits of… really years of hard work and sacrifice. But that also means sitting with… you know, the challenges of this time too, which isn’t as rewarding,” he admitted with a sad smile. “But I’m growing and learning alot so it’s worth it.” 

Oprah nodded. “You know I always appreciate when people don’t let the 24 hour news cycle and gossip sort of steal their thunder and moment from them. And I applaud you for sort of moving through the more gossipy side of the last few months with grace and maturity. But you haven’t really talked much publicly about those stories and the effect they have had on you. And you don’t have to get into it if you don’t want but I am curious on how you navigated that and really came out on the other side, from what I can see, stronger for it?”

Michael bowed his head and chuckled. “Um… you know a good friend of mine told me that she thought this was the most vulnerable and most genuine I had ever been publicly on this press tour and I think it’s because I’ve had to navigate some really personal stuff during this great but hectic public moment? And that’s new territory for me.” 

“And I think that friend is right. I don’t think we have seen or learned this much about you ever.” 

“Yea and I wish I could take some credit for it but… it was all one person: Raven Turner. And the way we met, now as the world knows, was extremely unconventional and I can admit that our relationship started as a complete lie. A lie I thought would help me be seen as this serious, mature man my team was worried I wasn’t. And I wasn’t,” he admitted. “I was cold and guarded and not at all the best version of myself. And while I regret how we started and trying to fool the world into thinking I’m something I’m not, there isn’t a bone in my body that regrets falling in love with her.” 

He leaned forward a bit as he spoke. “Because all those walls and barriers we build around ourselves to survive in this world of Hollywood? To endure the criticisms and insanity we deal with? She's the first woman to see me. Not the actor and the money and the fame but just me. And in that, she saved me… without trying or intending to. She just loved me and loving her, choosing her is the single greatest decision I ever made. And I hate how this moment has fallen on her, how my terrible decisions led to these pretty disgusting misogynistic attacks on her. And I think my biggest regret is putting someone as pure as her in the line of fire like that and not doing enough to protect her. And you know, I have to live with that, which is tough.” 

“You know I’ve interviewed thousands of people in my career and while I believe you have to change for yourself and on your own, I also have found that the ones who love us, really love us, are often the most powerful catalysts for change in our lives. I’ve certainly seen and experienced that in my own life and it’s important to spotlight those who were that catalyst.” 

“Oh 100%. Especially when, I think this version of me was always there? I was just too hurt to trust anyone with it, so no one saw it. I buried me under this facade I thought was better? But I fell in love with a woman who taught me that you can’t be guarded, you can’t shut down just because you’re hurt. Life is about getting up every day, being authentically you, and reaching out and loving and risking your heart every time. And sometimes you’ll get swatted away and sometimes you’ll get an embrace. But you just deny yourself love when you don’t show up at all. So I’ve been trying to live by that more lately. Because she showed me what real strength and courage looks like. And I want to have that, I want to lead with that.” 

“Wow… you know people are going to watch this and I think, applaud that vulnerability. It’s refreshing to me because I don’t think our world incentivizes or encourages people to admit when they aren’t being their best selves. So I think for you to do that, at a moment when you’re at the top of your game, is commendable.” 

“She deserves to know the positive effect she’s had on my life. To be celebrated for how she supported me. And you know it’s not just me? When we first started dating, I remember her one stipulation was that we couldn’t go out on Wednesday evenings because she hosted a book club for kids at the library she worked at. And that was the most important thing to her, being there for them. The day of our first date, she spent an hour delivering books and SAT prep books to those same kids she worked just because. There’s just a selflessness to her that is truly admirable. And I think while people are attacking her and calling her these vile names because she made a certain choice during a hard time, they should know who she really is. A woman that would drop everything to help you even when you don’t really deserve it. A woman who I’ve seen give others all she had because they needed it more even when she did not have a backup plan for herself. I could honestly talk about her for the rest of this interview because she deserves celebration far more than I ever could. Genuinely good people don’t always get the shine they deserve, they don’t always get the love and care they deserve because we can often take them for granted. But no one deserves to be celebrated more than her, to be celebrated loudly more than she does.” 

“I love that… she seems like quite the woman.” 

“She is… and I hope she knows that.” 

“So tell me about…” 

The words faded away as his words tumbled through Raven’s head. They clashed jarringly against every belief she had internalized about herself, like metal against metal. But she found herself wanting to believe him. Believe the words a section of the world just heard. She wanted to believe that what he saw in her, even over the course of six months, was who she truly was. Not this broken, damaged scapegoat life had fashioned her into. 

There has to be more than this, right? 

Tiffany nudged her with a box of tissues in her hand. Raven had not even realized she was crying but she accepted them gratefully. 

“Don’t know how I still have tears over this man left,” she whispered as she wiped her eyes. 

“I don’t think those tears are because of him, sis.” 

Raven sniffled and grabbed another tissue. “You m-might be onto something. I can’t watch anymore. Night, Tiffany.” 

However, before she reached her bedroom, she heard Tiffany call her name. 

“I know what he did… sucks. And hurts. But that’s a man who loves you, Rae. More than anything. After that? The only person in the world who still won’t believe it is you.”

She turned around to face her, the back of her hand wiping away a few more stray tears. “You know he said the same thing?” 

“Well, I generally don’t think actors are that smart,” Tiffany admitted with a laugh. “But he’s right about that. You deserve to believe good things about yourself, we all do.”

“Nothing good has ever lasted… I always ruin it somehow. I tried to believe I deserved him and life proved that I didn’t,” she answered, her voice small. “D-Don’t have it in me to try again.” 

“Raven… I know we aren’t best friends or anything. But how many times have I watched you forgiven your dad and sister? Let them back in, try to make things right with them? Try to build the family you want?” 

“Too many…” 

“Right… So why does Michael only get one shot when you found the strength to give them 100? When he’s the one actually showing up for you? He’s the one who actually is trying to earn another chance?”  

“It’s not that simple and you know it.” 

“I know that the only person denying you happiness right now… is you. You push away the good people and things in your life because you feel like you don’t deserve it but no one would be here if you didn’t. Michael, the kids in your book club… me. I don’t keep signing leases with you because you’re a terrible person who ruins everything, no one has a gun to our heads, Rae. We’re here because you do deserve it.” 

“Tiff…” 

“Nope, shut up. This pity party is getting old and tired. It doesn’t matter what I think of you… or what Michael thinks or anyone out there.” She gestured toward the window. “All that matters is the narrative you’ve created and until you decide to believe something else, all you’re going to do is push people away and fuck up and self sabotage because it’s all you think you deserve. You gotta wake up and do some fucking work, girl. Cause until you figure out how to erase this narrative from your brain, you’ll never be happy. And you’ll never fall in love with anyone except for someone who treats you like crap. You’ll never build your own family. You’ll never finish your book or have another fulfilling career. You’ll just be stuck in this broken version of yourself alone… forever. And I’ve seen a few different versions of you over the last two years but this is by far the most pitiful.”

Raven had never heard Tiffany be so blunt. The words were biting but she could not deny that some of them rang true in her ears. And that was always the hardest information to hear. 

“Damn… tell me how you really feel.” 

“The soft gentle love wasn’t resonating clearly so had to go with a different tactic…. Just think about it. And once you fix all this shit and move to a mansion in the hills, don’t forget about me.” She winked at her, causing Raven’s jaw to drop slightly. 

“How do you even know that’s gonna happen?” 

She shrugged and grabbed the remote to press play, Raven not even noticing that she paused it.

“Just got a good feeling about the two of you. Now go so I can lust after him in peace while he's still single. Kidding! Kinda..."

Raven let out a small laugh as she shook her head. "I know you're not kidding. Night, Tiff.” 

She slid into her bed, her only refuge of late, and stared at the ceiling. She was surprised she was not tired of looking at it by now. Michael and Tiffany’s words wrestled with her own thoughts for hours

What was her problem, really? It was not that what Michael did was unforgivable because it wasn’t. Some distant part of her, too quiet to break through the noise of her anger, always wondered if there was more to the story, believed that he had to have had some reason. But she was too angry to allow him to explain. It just became vicious ammunition that no one could ever love her or care about her… that she was the problem. 

Well, that’s true… no one’s ever loved you. And everyone who does leaves. 

She supposed her mother must have loved her, but she would never know. She would never feel it. And her grandmother’s love was so distant, so long ago, that it no longer felt tangible, was no longer a tether to anchor her self worth to something positive.

Instead, the only thing that tethered her sense of self worth to anything was her family’s disdain. Disdain that made her question what Michael could’ve seen in her, how he could ever love someone like her? That disdain which made it far easier to believe that what he did was proof that he did not love her than that he possibly did do it to protect her in some weird way. No other thought could live long enough in her brain to take hold. 

And she did not know if doing what Tiffany suggested would fix that. There was not enough time in the world for her muster the courage to interrogate and confront the source of these feelings. She had hoped she would never have to see her family again. Some days, never felt like too soon.

But she knew she could not avoid it. They were the root cause, the narrative in her head was fueled and sustained by them. And screaming at them across the Thanksgiving table and never speaking to them again was not the closure she needed. She thought she had dropped the weight that was her family when she cut them off. But she was still dragging all the luggage they gave her around and it was time to give it back. 

She knew her family did not want to see her either, knew it would be difficult to get them to even speak to her after everything. But she knew she had to try… because she knew there had to be more to life than this. That she had not been born to only suffer through life instead of live it. So she needed to confront her demons for herself, even if her relationship with them did not change one bit.  

She grabbed her computer and her wallet. It was time to go home.

***

Raven’s eyes remained trained on her dad’s house across the street as she sat in her rental car. She was almost shocked that none of her family’s nosy neighbors had not called the police yet as she sat there for nearly an hour, summoning the courage to actually go inside. 

She had felt so sure this was what she needed when she bought her plane ticket. And that confidence did not waver when she stepped onto the plane or during the long journey from LAX to Charlotte, NC. However, once she was in her rental car, she found herself waffling, aimlessly driving around for hours. Her brain seemed unable to direct her to the place she knew she needed to go. Home. 

She just could not make herself do it… not yet anyway. So she did not. Instead, she finally went to her hotel to try to get some rest and her night’s rest turned into the entire Friday holed up in her hotel. She had not booked a return ticket, prayerful and hopeful that there would be a reason to stick around for a few days. But that also meant she did not have the incentive of time to make her move faster. 

But she could not even make herself do this. Because she did not know how to be brave like this. Her life had been nothing but running from pain and confrontation. This was so contrary to that. She did not know how to do any of this. She tossed and turned all night, unable to get any sleep particularly when there was only one person who she wanted to talk to, wanted to seek courage and strength from. Because when she felt scared, when she did not feel strong, he was the only person she wanted to reach for. But she was not sure he would even answer. She had pushed him away, told him she needed space. 

But she had not felt like she could do this alone. So last night, she called him. 

“Rae! Everything ok?” he asked immediately, his question met with silence. 

Raven did not know what to say and regret filled her like ice water in her veins. But she knew it was too late to hang up, she had to see it through. She paid for that moment of weakness when she hit the call button as her throat closed at the sound of her voice. She found it impossible to speak, even if she knew what words to say.  

“I’ll wait until you’re ready, Rae. Got all night for you.” 

And she knew he was not just talking about waiting for her to speak. 

“Why?” she whispered, the simple word coming out in a strangled sound as she tried to push past the tightness in her throat. 

“Why what?” 

“Why even answer after everything I said to you? W-why do you keep trying?” 

“Because I love you,” he answered simply. “And you’re worth it. I’ll keep reaching out, baby girl. Even when you swat me away.” 

“You might be the only person who thinks that,” she whispered back as a tear fell. 

“I don’t think that’s true. But even if it was, knowing one person is in your corner is all you need sometimes.”

She laughed lightly. “That press tour got you only speaking in motivational boxing terms or something?” 

His deep laughter filled her ears and filled her soul with such joy that she had forgotten. She had forgotten what these moments felt like, the two of them on the phone or curled up together in bed, just talking. She missed it… she missed him. But she could not say it, could not bring herself to pull her body out of the water to make that long trek back up the cliff to where he waited for her. Everything in her brain screamed at her that she couldn’t do it, that she did not have it in her. And she hated herself for it. Hated how she clung to the ice barriers around her heart, even though they were utterly fractured and ready to fall. She just was not ready yet. 

She let out a shuddering breath as she hastily wiped away her falling tears. “I… don’t know why I called. I s-shouldn’t have called.”

“Call me anytime, Rae. I’ll always answer. I’ll always show up for you. I hope you know that… at least.” 

“Y-Yea… I think I do… or at least, it’s getting harder to deny it,” she revealed. “Your interview with Oprah… it was really good,” she offered lamely. 

“You watched??” she could hear the surprise in his voice. 

“Yea… I almost didn’t,” she admitted. “But I caught most of it. Did you mean it? Everything you said?” 

“Every single word.” There was no arguing with the definitive tone in his voice. “I get that you don’t trust me anymore. I lied and kept secrets. But one thing I never lied about is how much I love you.”  

Her eyes clenched shut for a moment. That was one thing he had always been consistent about, her ears had just been perpetually shut to it. 

“I… um… I gotta go. Early day tomorrow,” she lied as she sniffled. “I’m sorry for bothering you. Bye, Michael.” 

She was not sure what she had expected to get from that call and, at first, it felt as if she only got a firm kick in the heart for it. But for the first time since she landed, Raven had enough strength to finally drive to her family’s house. She had rolled her eyes at his boxing motivational quotes but hearing someone say they were in her corner, that had given her courage. To just feel like someone was behind her, even if she was alone, that meant something to her. 

She took a deep breath and got out of her car, forcing her legs to carry her to the front door. 

Her rounds of knocks went unanswered, Raven getting slightly frustrated but determined not to leave the porch. If she turned around and walked away, she’d never come back. 

After an extremely brief internal debate, she decided to simply let herself in, deciding that since she contributed to the mortgage, she had a right to come in as she pleased. And her father still, foolishly, kept a spare key underneath the welcome mat.

Though she had not been to her family’s home in two years or so, it still looked the same. Her father’s favorite work boots were thrown haphazardly at the door, several pairs of her sister’s shoes lined up next to them. She was an utter mess but she was, at least, somewhat neat. And it still felt… cold. And it had nothing to do with the cold winter east coast weather. The house had always felt like that, void of warmth and love that made a home a home. 

“Kiara?” she called out. “Dad?” However, she was met with utter silence. 

Part of her supposed she was thankful they were not home and that they had not just ignored her or something. She stood in the living room, staring around the room at the pictures that lined the walls and shelves. So many of her mom, her dad, and Kiara but there were none of her. That was not a surprise, it had always been that way. But that did not make it sting any less. All they had ever wanted was to erase her from their lives and if a stranger walked into this house, it would be as if she never existed.

She started up the stairs, her eyes refusing to linger long on any of the photos there. They were all lies anyway, a picture perfect family that did not exist because she had been born. She decided to ascend to the attic once she made it upstairs. Because that was where all her grandmother’s and some of her own things now lived. She had never really gone through her grandmother’s things after she passed, no one aside from her dad to pack them up. But she knew there was so much of their lives, so many memories she had forgotten of the one person who loved her, forgotten in those boxes that she now desperately needed to remember. 

She ignored how narrow the opening to the attic was, realizing that it had been easier to maneuver up here when she was a young teenager. Everything was still neatly packed away as if her grandmother would be back one day to pick it up. 

She started to open each box, pulling out and examining her grandmother’s things, so many beautiful things forgotten in this attic no one went into. For the first time in nearly two decades, she felt close to the only maternal figure she had ever had, felt like her grandmother’s hand was on her shoulder as she reminisced on their short but well-lived time together. 

She found the old costume jewelry her grandmother used to let her play with, laughing to herself as she thought back to dressing up in front of her vanity mirror pretending to be a model or whatever silly idea the pair had thought up. She almost cried as she found a very crumpled piece of paper with the last story she gave her grandmother to read before she died, a random short story that she had written for class. She had not realized, as she found a folder, just how many of her stories her grandmother had kept. 

A gold glint caught her attention, Raven reaching into a giant box to find a shoe box. Raven had seen that box 100 times but her grandmother had never let her touch it, claiming that it held priceless family heirlooms that she did not want Raven or Kiara to mess up. Raven rolled her eyes that something her grandmother had valued so much had been discarded and forgotten haphazardly at the bottom of this box. 

Finally giving into her childhood curiosity, she opened it. It was still filled with things, part of her thankful that Kiara had never found it. The jewelry and pieces in it were gorgeous and indeed priceless. She took her time as she examined each one, wondering if they had belonged to her mother or her grandmother or some other relative she never met. However, it was what existed underneath the jewelry that caught her eye: piles of tied up envelopes, one with her name on it and one with Kiara’s. 

The handwriting was not her grandmother’s, which made Raven even more curious. 

She pulled out the stack with her name on it and undid the thin ribbon that tied them together. There were ten letters there in total, each one with a different note scribbled on the envelope. 

To Raven on your 18th birthday 

To Raven on high school graduation 

To Raven after your first love 

To Raven after your first heartbreak

To Raven on college graduation 

To Raven on your wedding day 

She only had to flip through a few of them to realize who they were from. Her mom. 

“You’re killing me,” she muttered to the sky, unsure if she was speaking to God, her grandmother, her mother or all three. 

Her hands trembled slightly as she ripped open the one on top, addressed to her on her 18th birthday. These were some of the only words her mother would get to say to her, she did not care how long ago she should have read it. She would savor each one. 

To my sweet darling girl, 

If you are reading this, it means that I am not physically there with you on your birthday. It means that I’ve missed 18 birthdays and too many milestones to write a letter for and for that, I am sorry. You might be wondering why there is not a letter for all those milestones and birthdays that have taken place but this felt like the best place to start and the appropriate age for reading the musings of a dying woman. If there’s even such a thing.

We learned your gender today. Another sweet girl. If the doctor somehow got it wrong, these letters will be incredibly awkward. But I know they are right. Because you, my darling girl, are the manifestation of my wildest dreams. I dreamed of you almost a year ago, this beautiful girl with half my face but all of my spirit and personality. And every night since then, I prayed, begged God to make that dream a reality… no matter the cost. And he did. 

I know my body is not strong enough to be your mother, to be around to be the mother someone as brilliant as you will deserve. But I hope you know that deciding to have you and keep you, regardless of the risks, is the single greatest decision I ever made. You were not an accident or a misfortune given to me. You are my dreams. And if my last moments on this earth are spent looking at you, it will have been worth it. 

I waited until 18 to start these letters because I worried a child could never understand the choice I made. And you may still not. And if you resent me for leaving you before you could know me, I understand that too. But I hope that through these letters, you will get to know me. And you will feel some semblance of the immense love I have for you. 

I don’t have much advice because you’ve likely heard it all at this point. But the two most important things I can tell you, that I wish someone had told 18 year old me, is to know that failure is part of the journey. Your grandmother used to always tell me to keep reaching out your hand even if it doesn’t work. I didn’t really understand it soon enough but I hope you do. Life is about risks and if you don’t reach out your hand out of fear, you’ll protect yourself from pain but you will also miss out on the gifts God is trying to hand you. As a daughter, I hated to admit it, but mama was right about that… and so many other things. 

And finally, more importantly than anything else I could offer you in these letters, please remember every day that you are so, so loved. 

Know that regardless of what happened to me, I loved you with every fiber of my being until my last breath. Know that you were a gift from God. And every day you venture out into this world, know that you are worthy of so much because you were so loved from the moment you were dreamed up. Do not let anyone or whatever will happen to you in what I pray is a long, rich, happy life diminish that light, diminish your worth. I know how special you are and I don’t even know your name yet. And while I hope that your father and grandmother will affirm you daily, you don’t need other people to tell you that you are special. You have to know it for yourself. That’s the most important advice I can give you. Know who you are and your worth and take up as much space in this world as you want. And as long as you never forget how special you are… how deserving you are, you’ll move through this world shining bright. And the world will be forced to know it too and move to give you what you deserve. It’s not much and a bit cliche perhaps but I’ve been torn down enough to know that sometimes we all need the reminder. But those are stories for another letter. 

By the time I write my next letter, I promise I will have picked out a name for you. I read a book the other day where the main character was named Raven… I had not thought of it before but I like it. 

Happy Birthday. 

Love, 

Mom

The river of tears streaming down Raven’s face splashed against the slanted handwriting on the page, Raven quickly whisking them away so the words would remain legible. Raven did not even know how long she sat there staring at the words on the page, her heart bursting with the knowledge that her mother’s hand had touched this very paper, that she had poured her heart and soul into every word etched into it. 

It was like proof she had been real and not this entity Raven had conjured up in her head. Raven could not stop herself from ripping open all the ones that she should have gotten along the way. The one for her first love and the separate one on heartbreak were four pages each, and Raven did not pay attention to the clock as she absorbed each and every word. 

Everything she had learned about her mother had been through her grandmother and she had always wondered if her grandmother told her things just to make her feel better. But she realized that her grandmother had been telling the truth, she and her mother were so much alike. She found herself nodding and laughing along to her mother’s stories and wisdom embedded in all those pages. She was a prolific storyteller too and an amazing writer, another trait Raven realized she must have inherited from her.

For the first time in 30 years, Raven did not feel weighed down by this unbearable guilt. She felt lighter than she had ever been in her entire life. Perhaps this was what God wanted her to find here, not a confrontation with her family, but these words. This tangible proof that her mother had chosen her, wanted her… loved her and that she had not ruined anything at all. 

Her mother would not have wanted her to carry such guilt around for so long because there was nothing to be guilty about. 

The letters were scattered across the attic floor when she heard the faint sound of their garage opening. She quickly folded up all of her letters and stuffed them back into the box, tucking it under her arm as she climbed out of the attic. She did not make much noise as she closed up the attic, just as she heard her father and sister close the garage door and enter the kitchen. 

Their voices drifted up to her ears as she started to climb down the stairs, deciding that she might as well get the pure unpleasantness of this moment over with. 

“Wait… you hear that? Is someone in the house??” she heard her sister ask, knowing that they both could hear her footsteps against the old floorboards. 

“Don’t get your gun,” she called out as she started down the stairs. “It’s just me.” 

She was greeted with less-than-welcoming expressions from her family, such disdain that it made her want to scurry away. But she did not. She had done enough of that in her life.

“Adding breaking and entering to your criminal activity, now?” 

Raven scoffed as she placed the box on the kitchen counter that stood between her and her family. 

“Don’t think you can break into a house you helped pay for?” she answered coolly. “And I’m not the one with a mug shot here if I remember correctly.” 

“No you’re just the one who sold her cheap ass for a quick buck.” 

Raven shook her head, opening and closing her mouth for a few moments as she tried to find the words. 

“Yea I did… And I’m not proud of it,” Raven admitted. “But I won’t let you or anyone shame me for doing what I needed to do to survive. What helped the two of you survive too.” Raven scratched her head, realizing that trying to get closure from her family was unnecessary. Her mother’s words had given her all the closure she had ever needed. That’s what she had come home for. 

“You know, I got a plane ready to rip you both a new one for 30 years of abuse and torture. To try to force you to admit that I’m not the villain you made me to be. But… I don’t need that anymore. Because the cross of guilt and shame you two forced onto my back for all these years isn’t one I should have to carry. But I did because I thought it was the only way to keep you two around. And even without you two in my life, I still drag that cross around because I thought I deserved it. But I realized today, way too late, that I don’t need a damn thing from either of you to put it down.” 

“So you came here to what? To chastise us and steal?” her father asked, gesturing toward the box on the counter. 

“You can’t steal things that belong to you. These are letters mom wrote to me,” she lifted the open letters out before sliding the unopened pile to her sister. “And to you.” 

“Your mother wrote these?” he asked, his jaw tensing as he looked down at the stack. 

“Yeah, she did. You’ll enjoy yours… she was a really good storyteller,” she glanced at Kiara. “These letters just told me something I should’ve realized long before Thanksgiving. That cross? That guilt? It isn’t mine. And I am done wasting my life trying to rectify the mistake of being born. Because it wasn’t a mistake. She chose me… prayed for a second daughter knowing the cost and she decided it was worth it. And hearing her say that? That’s all I need to know that I deserve so much more than this… so much more than you.” She took a deep breath. “Being a grieving husband isn’t an excuse to be a terrible father and I’ll just be grateful I found some way to survive you and this. And jealousy doesn’t give you the right to be a shitty sister.” 

“What the fuck do I have to be jealous of??” 

“I always wondered that. But reading those letters… I finally got it. Because even as a failed author and prostitute, I’m everything she was. Grandma used to always say I had her personality… her talent. I always thought she was lying to make me feel better. But you knew she wasn’t and you could never stand it. Couldn’t stand that I was more like her than you.” For the first time, her sister was speechless. A good look on her in Raven’s opinion. “Mom wanted so much better for me than this and I’m gonna go and find it. Because I’ve wasted too much energy trying to earn the love of people who don’t deserve it. So if you want to go to your graves hating me, making me the scapegoat for every problem in your miserable lives, have at it. But know that I don’t hate you even after all this. I won’t be weighed down anymore by any feelings toward either of you ever again. You aren’t worth it.”

Raven pulled herself to full height and rolled her shoulder back as she scooped up the box and folder she had taken from her grandmother’s stuff. 

“Now I’m gonna go and have that long… rich and happy life mom wanted for me. And I hope you two do the same.” 

She did not look behind her as she walked away, a soft smile on her face as she walked out of her family’s house for the last time.

She let out a long laugh as she sat in her car, so much of the weight she had been carrying around gone. It did not feel sad like when she cut off her family at Thanksgiving. She finally felt as if she had cut the anchor away and she could float away, she could move forward and heal all the broken pieces of herself that they had gleefully chipped away at. 

When she got back to her hotel room, she just kept rereading her mom’s words. She would memorize each letter at this point. A part of her desperately wanted to open the other ones but she had not reached those milestones just yet so she left them where they were. For some reason, she worried her mother would disapprove of her breaking into them early. 

One line of five letters she read and reread stuck to her bones above all else. And of course, as if her mother had known, it was embedded in the letter for her first love. Love… the thing that had cracked her wide open and brought her to this moment in the first place.

You’d be surprised to know that this was the hardest of the letters to write. Because everyone has some prolific idea of what love is and feels like. And I realized I don’t… because I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the love I pray you are as you read this. That’s not to say I don’t love your father, I do. But I want something different than convenience for you. I hope that the love you feel is safe, allows you to feel the full spectrum of what it means to be human - strong and vulnerable, insecure and confident, boisterous and timid. I hope it feels like stepping out of the cold air and into a warm embrace. I hope it is loud and unapologetic because you deserve nothing less. And I hope it makes you feel so enraptured that everything else in the world goes quiet. And lastly, I hope, more than anything, that it feels like home. That when you’re in this person’s embrace, you feel as if your soul finally landed right where it is supposed to be. 

Her eyes scanned that passage over and over again, realizing that she had found the exact love her mother described. She had come back here thinking she was coming home. But this wasn’t home at all. Home was where he was. And he was back in LA, about to prepare for the biggest night of his life in 24 hours. And regardless of whatever trust needed to be rebuilt and conversations needed to be had, she could not allow herself to miss it. She could not allow herself to not show up for him.

Raven scrambled to find her phone as it was hidden beneath sheets of paper. She scrolled through, praying she had not deleted a long forgotten group thread that housed one number she had once thought she would never need but now was the most important phone number in the world. 

She almost shouted praises to God when she found it, clicking the call button on the unsaved number. She paced up and down beside her bed as every agonizing ring dragged on. 

“Didn’t think I’d see your name pop up on my phone ever again.” 

Raven let out a sigh of relief as her voice filled her ears. “I know… me either. But I need a favor.” 

“Does it involve a certain award show tomorrow night?” 

“Yes. Is it too late?” 

“Yea it is.” she knew Alex could hear the tiny sigh of sadness she let out. “For anyone but me. I’ve earned enough favors around here to create a miracle or two.”

“Really?? Cause I need like more than one or two miracles… a dress, hair, makeup… hell a flight from Charlotte to make it back in time. Without him knowing?”

“Consider all of it done. Hope you don’t mind getting up at the ass crack of dawn though.” Alex asked, Raven hearing the smile in her tone. 

“For him… I’ll get up anytime.” 

“Good. Then I'll take care of everything... I'll have to tell his mom but she'll love this. And probably be happy as hell that she doesn't have to go anymore. I'll text you details in an hour."

"An hour?? That's all you need??"

"You're new here so I'm gonna choose to not be offended by that."  

"Noted." She was about to hang up when she stopped herself. “Hey… Alex? Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Just make sure your ass is on that plane and in LAX tomorrow when Allen picks you up, got it?” 

Raven chuckled. “Yea I got it. See you tomorrow.”

Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r @dezzy154

***

A/N: So now will y'all stop yelling at me LOLOL our good sis is going back to her man! We love to see it! How surprised do we think Michael's going to be? Part 11.2 will be the Oscars! Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! And as always, thanks for reading!

[darliiiing]

✦ if this is a dream, i don't ever want to wake up

pairings: stanley pines x f!reader

How he imagined his life turned out to be wasn't sitting on a tiny toddler chair getting his nails painted by his spawn.

His ten years of homelessness made him expect to die in some alley. His years in this small town called Gravity Falls made him expect to forever try to rebuild his twin's portal to bring said twin back.

Not being married in the process of trying to get his twin back. And on top of that, becoming a father to a little girl.

He met you as Stanford. You first knew him as that crazy scientist living in the middle woods who suddenly turned his house into a successful tourist trap. You found it suspicious.

You never met him before the Mystery Shack business, only heard of him from local gossipers at Greasy's. You finally got to know him when you find him at a bar, looking like he's wallowing in his grief as he downs a beer.

He caught you eyeing him. Yikes that was embarrassing but he didn't mind. He introduced himself as Stan.

"Oh, Stanford Pines, right? I heard about you from Manly Dan."

"Yeah... Call me Stan, toots."

At first it was playful flirting. Which turned to dates. Turning into dating each other.

Stan thought it'd be temporary. You thought it'd be forever.

And when he realized how serious you were, he got scared. Not because he doesn't love you back. He does! It's just that he wasn't honest with ya.

So he sat you down. Told you how he's not Stanford, that's his twin brother. Told you how he pushed him into a portal (which he showed you to prove he's not lying) and how he's trying to get him back. He believed he'd scare you away with his confession, he turned his head away.

Instead, you cupped his cheek to make him look at you. You had that soft understanding look and a small genuine smile. A bit teary eyed too 'cause he's handling all of this alone and you feel sad for him ;((

"I may not get it fully. But I want you to know that I'm here for you, Stanley." Your words brought him to life. Especially when you called him his real name after years of no one calling him that.

"I'm a heavy baggage, sweetheart. You sure you want me? Of all people? After all of the things I've done—"

You shut him up with a kiss <3

You pulled away and rested your forehead with his, your fingers carding through his mullet, you whispered, "I'm sure, baby."

He knew right then and there that he wanted to make a wife outta ya.

And he does.

You got married in Vegas a year after with a nice ring he saved up for.

"Want my wife to always have nice things. This the first one you'll get." He said as he kissed you and slid the ring on to your finger.

Now years later, here he was playing dress up parties with the best gift you gave him. Your little girl giggled as she put a tiara on his head as the final touch.

At night, after tucking his daughter in for bed, he resumes his quest of getting his brother back. Now with you on his side helping him.

He insisted that you don't have to worry your pretty little head about it and that it's his mistake he has to fix. But you were adamant he's not alone in the journey. Using whatever skill you can to help him.

He thinks he doesn't deserve a perfect being like you.

—

"Lee?" You pulled him out of his thoughts, looking concerned when he was staring at the hole of that triangular portal looming in the basement.

He flinched but loosened up when you put a hand on his shoulder. "What is it, hun'?"

"Are you alright?"

At the question, he sighed and went back to look at the machine that doomed his twin. "Was wondering if he's still alive out there."

His guilt was visible. It's always has whenever he's in the basement.

Your expression softened and you wrapped your arms around him from behind, resting your head on his back.

"You gotta have faith. He's still alive. And it will all be worth it when we bring him back."

'We'. He smiled at that, knowing he's not alone anymore.

[problem-prone]

Since both of his brothers were recovering from the flu, it was only a matter of time before Darry would fall victim to the virus. 

He was woken up the next morning by a fierce pounding in his head and a throat that felt as if he had been gargling glass in his sleep. “Shit,” he whispered into the quiet of his room. He wanted to stay in bed, just curl up under the covers and wallow in his misery. As much as he dreaded it, he had to get up and go to work, considering he had already taken a week off to care for Ponyboy and Soda. 

With a groan, Darry pushes himself out of bed. The ground seems to sway under him, and it takes all of his might to stay standing. He shakes off the dizziness and begins getting dressed for work. After what seems like an eternity, he sits to put on his work boots and then heaves himself up to go make breakfast. 

Darry opens his door and sees Ponyboy and Soda at the kitchen table, with Pony working on the assignments he had missed the week. Soda looks up and sees Darry standing in the hallway. “I made breakfast,” he says, holding out a plate towards Darry. Darry could feel his stomach lurch and he swallowed down a gag. 

Darry shook his head and grabbed his keys and wallet from beside the door. “I’m not hungry Pepsi,” he says, “plus I gotta get on to work.” His throat screams in pain with his words, and the roughness of his voice has him suppressing a flinch.  

Ponyboy looked up from his homework and furrowed his brows. Soda tilts his head, a confused look in his eyes. “Darry it's Sunday, your day off,” Ponyboy replies with a questioning tone. Sighing, Darry sets his stuff down and walks over to the couch where he promptly collapses. “You look like shit, just so you know.” Darry wasn’t sure when his little brother had made his way over to the couch, or how long he had been standing over him before he spoke. He also wasn’t sure when the room had started spinning. 

Soda comes over and perches on the end of the couch where Darry’s head is. He gently places his hand on Darry’s forehead, smoothing his hair back like their Mama used to do. Darry sighs at the coolness of Soda’s palm and whines a little when he pulls his hand back. “He’s right Dar and you’ve got a fever. Looks like the mighty have fallen.” Soda’s attempt at a joke falls flat as Darry squeezes his eyes tight in response to his heartbeat thumping in his ears. 

He lets out a small whine and rolls over onto his side. Usually, he wouldn’t let anyone in on how bad he felt, especially not his brothers. But between the deep-seated aching in his bones and the fever-driven malaise he couldn’t stop himself from acting a little pathetic. At some point in his feeling sorry for himself, a hand found its way into his hair and was scratching at his scalp. Ponyboy walked to the other end of the couch, lifting Darry’s legs before gently setting them in his lap. “Sleep, you need it,” Pony says as he begins to massage Darry’s calves. 

Darry shook his head and tried to sit up, but a hand pushing on his chest stops him. “Y’all are still gettin’ over this, need to take care of y’all.” 

“We’re both fine, let us take care of you for once Dar,” Soda says as he resumes running his fingers through Darry’s hair, which makes him sigh contently. He lets himself relax into the touch, eyes fluttering closed. “Now you’re gonna get some sleep then I’ll make you some soup, how about that?”

The corners of Darry’s mouth quirk up into a small smile, the fingers playing with the strands of his hair making it hard to focus on what is being said. “Yeah sounds good,” he replied before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.