#just got to work & now i get to get paid to pal around w my bestie!!! :3 woo!!

[yuukimiyas]

⊂( ’ω’ )=͟͟͞͞⊃ i gave vin diesel a run for his money on my way to work this morning !!

[joestarwhore]

I’m Horrible at requesting things but can we get a yandere jotaro with a s/o whos the sweetest thing in the world? Like jotaro just wants to protect the bby. By protecting he means locking them in a basement with no sunlight or human connections that isint from him 😬 thx a bunch!

mwah, ofc!

IF YOURE NOT 18+ GO AWAY TYSM

————————————

Yandere!Jotaro Kujo Headcanon & Imagine

You met Jotaro around the same time Koichi did. You were a senior in school, your credits completed and your classes short, so you always had a lot of free time through the day.

You’ve had your Stand, Iron Maiden, since birth. Unlike other stand users though, you didn’t use yours very often. You simply loved to love people, your kindness making you a shining light to everyone around you.

& After everything that unfolds, Jotaro’s presence all of a sudden became more and more persistent. Jotaro would sit by you everywhere, asking you little questions about things you liked, flowers would show up on your nightstand at home, surprise little dates to the beach with him at night; Jotaro was treating you better than any man ever did before.

So when he suggested that you move away to his estate to live with him, there clearly was one answer; after all, your house was completely empty after you had came home, all of it packed on a trailer being worked on by Josuke and Okuyasu. Jotaro kissed your cheek, reassuring you this is exactly what you’re meant to do, his hands caressing your cheeks. After his sweet honeyed words, his gentle touches, you let him put you in the front seat.

——————————————

{Requited Love, Requited Insanity}

You sat on your king size bed that you shared with Jotaro, petting your cat Jam Jam who gently slept in your lap. The estate was absolutely giant, even though you & Jotaro lived in the penthouse below the surface. No windows, no light, simply electricity & Jotaro. That’s all you had.

Honestly, you were loving it! The estate was absolutely beautiful, Jotaro had a full library stocked for you to read from, all your records in a safe place for you, Jotaro paid for Jam Jams vet appointments and arranged for her to be expedited to you, giving you your small little companion back.

The only thing you missed were the people. Koichi, Josuke, Okuyasu, all of your pals, you haven’t seen them since the day you left Morioh. But that’s okay! Jotaro always takes good care of you, between making sure you have what you need & feel at home, he even put in an alarm system to make sure that the only one who can open doors is him, all because he doesn’t want you to slam your finger in one of the doors!! How sweet is he??

You heard the main door open above, footsteps coming down the stairs to the penthouse. Jotaros footsteps weren’t easy to miss, & certainly didn’t stop after he came through the door. His eyes softened as he saw you, throwing his hat on the shelf and his briefcase on the table. He raised up his arms as you ran into his chest, squeezing him with all the might you could muster. “Welcome home, honey!”

Jotaro smiled and kissed your forehead, “Thank you baby, I missed you a lot today. Did you have a good day with Jam Jam?”

You smiled brightly, “Yes I did, we watched a nature documentary while we napped together!”

“That’s good baby, I’m glad you’re getting sleep like a good girl.”

You followed Jotaro down to the kitchen, seeing two bags of takeout on the counter. “I figured since I have the next few days off, we could give you a break with cooking for a few nights. You’ve done really good cooking dinner for us, you deserve a break.”

You looked up at Jotaro smiling ear to ear, your heart swelled with admiration of how thoughtful he was. “Thank you so much Jotaro, that’s so so sweet!”

Jotaro helped you make your plate & got you both situated on the couch. You both talked about his day and yours as you ate, taking time out to pet jam jam as she walked by every now & then.

After about an hour of watching Jotaros pick of his favorite documentary, you spoke in a small voice up towards him;

“Jojo, how long have we been living here?”

Jotaro kept silent for a moment, careful not to say anything rash. Your delicate mental state & soft heart have been molded to his perfect little darling, & he couldn’t ruin that.

“Around 6 months, I’d say.”

You sat Jam Jam on the floor, angling yourself to look towards Jotaro, whos eyes were trained on you & looking at you with adoration. He knew if he was to keep you in his grasp, he had to answer all of your questions, and had to do it right.

“Why can’t I go outside?”

“The outside is dangerous, sweetie. There are a lot of bad men out there who don’t like me, and because I love you so much, they don’t like you either.”

Your face saddened at the thought of someone not liking you. You’ve never even hurt anyone, even when you had the chance to kill, you always chose the nicer way to do things. “Okay. I’m sorry for asking you so many questions, sometimes I don’t know how to explain certain things to myself.”

Jotaro sat you up & helped you stand up, “that’s perfectly okay, angel. As long as you are here with me, you are safe. I promise that.” You nodded as you grinned up at him, clearly satisfied with his reply and his praise.

Jotaro grinned down at you, kissing the back of your head as he steered you back to the bed, looming over you as he pushed you onto your back. “I had the aquarium to myself today. ‘Was thinking how nice it would’ve been if you were there.” His lips grazed over your ear shell, making your thighs clench together as adrenaline shot to your core.

“W-whys that?”

Jotaro chuckled darkly as he snaked his arm around your backside, holding the back of your head in his hand while his other one gripped your thigh, slowly making its way to your heat. “Because all I wanted to do was bend that perfect cunt over my desk and fill you til you were swollen.”

Your cheeks flamed red as you bit your lip in excitement. Jotaros thumb skimming over your tucked in bottom lip, attaching his to the side of your neck. You couldn’t keep in the moan that escaped you, between the pressure on your neck that would surely leave a hickey & Jotaros palm rubbing circles on your core.

“Perfect little whore for me, arent you?”

Silence. SLAP.

You yelped as his hand made contact with your ass, arching yourself into both of his hands. “Answer my question, you stupid fucking slut.”, he growled in your ear.

You moaned and hid your face in his muscular neck, his black hair tickling your eyes as you took in a shaky breath. “Yes sir, I’m your perfect little whore!”

Jotaro smirked down at you as he forced your legs open, gripping the flesh of your thighs in his fingers. “Y’know Josuke used to tell me how badly he wanted to bend you over. Him & Okuyasu both.” He unzipped his pants, pulling down and exposing his rock hard cock. Your breath hitched at the sight, excitement swelling in your stomach.

Jotaro lined himself up at your entrance, his thumb gently rubbing over your sensitive clit. “They don’t know how many times they’ve almost had every bone in their bodies broken.” He thrusted his cock all the way inside you, your moans filling your bedroom as you gripped the sheets to cope with the intensity.

“Mmh good girl, yeah just like that, take every inch of me like a good fuckin whore.”

Your moans became screams and begs for him to slow down and to stop as he tunneled into your cunt, not giving you any mercy. “Yeah good fuckin slut, good girl taking my dick- f-fucking christ you’re gonna look so good covered in my cum.”

Your stomach tightened as you gripped onto Jotaros arms, your cries asking him to please make you cum, please let you cum like a little whore, everything Jotaro wanted to hear out of his little darling.

“Mmmfph FUCK yeah good fuckin slut, cum all over my cock!”

His filthy mouth sent you over the edge as your intense release shook your entire body. Jotaro lazily pumped himself in & out of you, telling you sweet nothings in your ear as your overstimulated brain calmed down. Jotaro hilted himself inside you, finally cumming inside your sensitive womb. His large hands running over your glistening body help you up and into one of his T shirts, and laying you under the covers of your bed.

You were his. Only his. He had broke you and remade you so, so perfectly. He loved you so much it drove him into the most dangerous kind of madness; the requited one.

————————————————

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING DARLINS!!🦋✨🌈🌸

[nataliedanovelist]

GF & MvsM - Wanna Talk About Dinos?

This crossover was inevitable. It just works too well. Maybe one day i’ll write a fic about how the folks at Gravity Falls handled the robot-apocalypse. Probably shrugged it off. “Eh. We’ve had worse.” Haha! What if Stan and Ford, cuz they were out sailing, had no clue what happened and when they came back they were like, “Wait, what?”

For now, please enjoy this fic of Aaron making a new friend...

(credit goes to @stephreynaart for her OC Jacob) ~~~~~~~~~~ “Hi, would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?”

Aaron asked this question more times than he could keep track of, but that wasn’t going to stop him from asking it. It started as a dare from his big sister two years ago, but now it’s a fun hobby. When fifth grade isn’t overwhelming him, scaring him with mountains of homework and horror stories about how hard middle school is going to be, and when he’s run out of YouTube videos to catch up on, he is on the hunt for fellow giant-lizard-lovers like a hungry Ceratosaurus.

“No, okay bye.” But it did get a little tiring to always cross out names and phone-numbers on the phone book with red ink. Hey, a dinosaur of a way to find phone-numbers was appropriate. He read the next number, dialed it, and after a ring or two he asked, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs? No, okay thank you.”

Aaron crossed out another name and sighed, taking a break since he reached the end of a line of numbers. Maybe he should just be grateful for Abbey and accept that no one else wants to talk about the Jurassic Period. Or the Cretaceous Period. Or the Triassic Period. But then a big, old, gray-tinted ad distracted him. He grinned, thinking it would at least be fun to give them a call, and he dialed the number.

Private home phone-numbers were fun, but businesses were also fun! Poor, bored workers would gladly talk to him rather than crabby Karens, and they got paid for it! So Aaron smiled as the phone rang, and he grinned when someone picked up.

“Thanks for calling the Mystery Shack, you’re talking to Mr. Mystery himself! How may I befuddle or bewilder you?”

“Hi! How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”

“Oh, dude! I’d love to, but I’m scheduled for a tour of the Oddity Museum in three minutes.” The man said, and Aaron grinned continuously, because it sounded like Mr. Mystery really wanted to talk with him about dinosaurs. “But hey! Can you hold on for one minute, I think I know a guy!”

“Yeah, sure mister!” And Aaron was greeted by the sound of a catchy jingle about buying t-shirts and mugs and snowglobes. He smiled and wiggled his feet along to the music as he looked outside at the beautiful late-fall afternoon, entertained while he waited.

~~~~~~~~~~

Soos was on the hunt. He planned out the house in his head. Abuelita was taking a nap upstairs, Melody was organizing the upcoming tour, and Stan took Jacob out for ice cream, so he might be…

The owner of the Shack grinned when he stopped at the doorway and saw the man he was looking for, sitting in Stan’s chair, reading a book.

“Uncle Ford!”

The old sailor smiled up at the young man. “Yes, wh-...”

“Do you think you could answer the phone for me? I have a tour and I think this customer’s request is right up your alley.”

“Uh… sure, but w-...”

“Thanks, you’re the best!” And Soos was gone before he could address Ford’s confusion.

Ford was a bit lost, having little to no business with business, but he had learned at this point to trust Soos, so he picked up the phone beside him and was immediately greeted with a sweet, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”

Ford grinned and closed his book. “I would love to! All three periods are equally as fascinating to study, but the Triassic contains some of my favorite dinosaurs!”

A young voice gasped on the other line. “Mine, too! Everyone thinks the Jurassic period is so great, and it’s pretty cool, but the Triassic gave us Plateosaurus and the Brachiosaurus!”

“That’s very true! You know, it’s very interesting, maybe depictions don’t include feathers at all, which is a bit frustrating, but perhaps after the news has spread they will incorporate more feathers on merchandise and textbooks.”

“YES! That’s what I wanna do when I grow up, help draw better-accurate dinosaurs!”

~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang on Sunday. The Shack was closed today, so Stan lazily answered it and was greeted with, “Wanna talk about dinosaurs?”

“Sixer, phone for you!”

Ford ran into the living room, elbowed his twin out of the chair, and took the phone. “Hello again, Aaron! Now, where were we? Right, so Australopithecus. … No, I don’t think… Oh! No, homo habilis was erect, Australopithecus was never fully erect.”

“Maybe he was nervous.” Stan groaned, getting to his feet.

Ford shot him a look as thankfully the young boy on the other end didn’t catch that and happily shared some more fun-facts about homo habilis.

~~~~~~~~~~

While most college students were excited for Spring Break so they could get drunk or lose their virginity, Katie was excited because her family had planned a special secret roadtrip. She was careful to keep up with her family and talk to her parents and brother frequently, but Aaron had a hobby he wasn’t talking about that his parents found out and were thrilled about. Aaron had made another friend.

Rick and Katie did some research and the tourist attraction sounded right up their alley! In the middle of the woods, tons of weird stuff, and a fun roadtrip filled with diners and attractions. They decided to surprise Aaron, and they made up a lie that they would spend Spring Break in California with Katie so she could show her family around San Francisco, when in actuality they would be traveling up the state to the Redwood Highway and see the oddity place, and maybe even allow Aaron to meet his new pen-pal. Or, um, phone-pal.

So after bombarding Katie with hugs the Mitchells threw her luggage into the car and drove off. Aaron turned to Katie and excitingly asked, “So where are we going first? Can we go fix the Golden Gate bridge by painting it gold?”

Katie laughed and ruffled his hair. “Maybe later, right now I wanna show you guys this fun store right outside of town. Here, check out the videos I made for my classes!” And she pulled out some airpods and gave one to Aaron.

“Cool!”

Rick and Linda smirked at each other as they drove north. By the time they reached a little diner in Redding, CA, it was very clear to Aaron that they weren’t in San Francisco anymore. “Come on, just tell me where we’re going!” The boy begged as he fed Monchi a fry.

“The best kind of prizes are the surprises.” Linda quoted.

“Eric, Deborahbot5000, where are we going?”

“Sorry, Aaron, we cannot give that information.” Eric said, he and the other robot sitting politely in their seats, happy to be a part of the social interaction.

“Yes, Mother will bury us if we disobey.” Deborahbot said matter-of-factly.

“What?! No I won’t, sweeties.”

“Won’t you ground us?”

The family laughed and Aaron let the topic go; if he was honest, he loved a good surprise. The big family stopped in a motel just at the California-Oregon border, and the next morning after muffins and coffee and orange juice they were on the road again, passing dozens of trees that made Rick feel at home. Katie happily recorded the trip, trusted to be the documenter for another fun roadtrip, with hopefully not as much mortal peril.

Aaron watched as they left the highway for a simple road, and they passed a big sign. The boy gasped and caught what was happening. “No WAY! Really?!”

“You know, I hear this Mystery Shack even has a Sasquatch.” Rick commented while Linda pulled out a pamphlet from the glove box.

“It says here it’s full of odd things you’ll never see anywhere else, even a dinosaur footprint…”

“Wasn’t there a rumor of there being a Bottomless Pit?” Katie asked, pointing her camera at Aaron to get his reaction.

“Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!” Aaron cheered, hugging his Dad’s neck and kissing his Mom’s cheek.

“Hey, no worries, buddy.” Rick eased, fixing his shewed glasses. “We wanted to see this place, too!”

“Why don’t we eat a quick lunch and then we’ll take the backroad for the attraction? There’s a coupon in here for a diner made from a giant log!”

And so after being served by a pretty blonde teenager at Greasy’s, they drove through town to get to the backroad. Signs made them confident that they were going the correct way, as well as Eric and Deborahbot5000’s GPS. Then as they turned a corner, a big triangle-shaped building came into view. Aaron grinned at the giant sign with a missing letter. People were already leaving, arms full of souvenirs and one or two already wearing their new hats or t-shirts. Once Rick parked in the Free Parking Lot, Aaron spilled out of the car and ran for the shack, but he stopped.

Katie caught up to him and patted his back. “You cool, man?”

Aaron shrugged, holding his hands in front of him and his shoulders up to hide his face a bit. “I-I dunno… What if… What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Hey, I get it.” Katie admitted. “When I first met my friends I was really nervous. I had talked to them online for weeks and I was worried it wasn’t gonna be what it was all cracked up to be, but it was. Your system worked! You found another dino-lover! You earned this moment. Just take in a deep breath and be yourself, cuz you’re a pretty cool dude.”

Aaron smiled up at his big sister. “Thanks.”

Trusting Eric and Deborahbot5000 to watch Monchi and make sure he used the bathroom, the Mitchells went inside the shack. On the porch there was an ice cooler, a sign reading schedule times for tours of the Oddity Museum, a Help Wanted sign, and two rocking chairs with a game of checkers between them.

Inside the store a few customers filled up the gift shop, alongside t-shirts, snowglobes, a vending machine, a door beside ti that read Employees Only, a bookshelf full of comic on one side and old newspapers claiming alien sightings on the other, a fish tank holding a monkey-mermaid, and barrels full of spaceship keychains and dino claws. A new section called Camping Stuff caught Rick’s eye, selling backpacks, lanterns, flashlights, batteries, canteens, and compasses. Katie opened a comic called Lil’Stanley and laughed at the swears, taking a pic and sending it to her friends’ group chat. Linda looked into the barrel full of patches and grinned at all the fun designs, while Aaron stared happily at the mer-monkey.

The Employees Only door opened and closed and Rick watched as a man in a suit, fez, and eyepatch walked up to the lady at the register and kissed her cheek. The woman smiled lovingly and left while the guy who resembled a gopher checked a customer out. Rick waited until the buyer left to approach the register, leaning an arm on the counter.

“Welcome to the Mystery Shack, dude!”

“Thanks! So, this is gonna sound weird, but my son Aaron talks to a guy here about dinosaurs…”

“No way!” The owner interrupted excitedly. “Good to see you, dudes! I’m Mr. Mystery! Wow, you guys came a long way, huh?”

“Nah, only from California. My daughter is attending art school there.”

While the men chit-chatted and Linda joined them, Katie noticed a guy walking up to Aaron and looking at the mer-monkey. She smiled and tried to read the comic without being too nosy, but she kept her senses on her brother.

“Hm, quite fascinating, isn’t it?” The man in the blue hoodie said. “But I think my favorite is the fossilized footprint. Could be Nanuqsaurus hoglundi.”

“The Polar Bear Lizard?” Aaron clarified, touching his chin as he looked at the dino-print, his back to the man he was talking to. “Maybe, but they’re from Alaska. It’s possible plate tectonics did cause some fossils to be relocated here, but it could also be a Nanotyrannosaurus lancensis footprint.”

“The Dwarf Tyrant? Could very well be. Would you like to talk about dinosaurs after your tour?”

Aaron’s eyes widened as the voice was finally familiar to him. He turned and looked up to find an old man smiling up at him. He had fluffy gray hair with a white stripe running around his scalp, wrinkles by his eyes due to smiling, a cleft chin, glasses, and wore a blue hoodie with a maroon sweater underneath. His hands were behind his back and he smiled down at Aaron warmly, while the boy was jittery and overly-excited. He took in a sharp breath and had to fight every muscle to keep from leaping through the screen door. 

“H-H-Hi…” He peeped. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Y-Yeah, sure! I’d love to! I’m Aaron! Er, wait, you already knew that.” And he held out a hand to shake.

His phone-pal, Ford, chuckled and got on one knee to be eye-level. “Greeting, Aaron! It’s nice to formally meet you.”

Aaron shook his hand and noticed something. He had six fingers on his right hand. A quick glance told Aaron he also had six fingers on his left hand. Aaron grinned with sparkling eyes at his new friend, while the old sailor smiled warmly at the boy that reminds him of his niece and nephew when they were young.

[huebris808]

Dr. Hofnarr’s Horrible, No-Good, Very Weird 15 Years Of Being Dead.

a tribute to fanon interpretations/character study(?) that was going to be a bonus chapter in a post-canon/au comedy fic im working on! might come back to expand on this when i do start posting it (or if mpn gives him more background story lore that i’ll have to work with aoAHGHOAUGH)

happy madness day! :o)

“Where should I begin… Perhaps at the very beginning? OH! Christoff and I first met years before our Nexus days! Back in our freshman years of college, to be precise! You know, I was actually a theater major before switching to- ... A-Aah, too far back. Much too far... Let’s start from the point where the notes I supplied to you ended then, shall we? After our dissension...”

.. “Good luck, old friend...” ..

The first years on the run from Nexus was stressful to say the least. Hofnarr and Christoff had split up to better their chances of survival. He knew the process would be grueling, having talked to Christoff almost every night about it to calm his nerves. While he played calm for the cameras, Hofnarr truly wished he could have held him close one last time. No communications. No physical contact. Day after day, month after month, nothing. He would be separated from his husband for a very long time…

It wasn’t all bad after a while. He had a comfortable new apartment, went under a new alias, and his questionable new job paid him enough to buy food. His apartment even had cable! He could watch marathons of Slaughter Time whenever he got home! In hindsight, he wondered if that had an effect on his mental state at the time...

Hofnarr had taken the last of his S3LF regulator with him, having shipped them out to an undisclosed location prior to dissension. Dissonance exposure did a number on him and his research team, leaving them to track their “normality” through daily blood tests and injections. While they met their fates early on, Hofnarr had gotten lucky. That is, until the doses began to run out.

Stressful as it was, he knew what he had to do. Hofnarr rushed back to what remained of the labs, knowing it had been abandoned by now. It was ironic, he and Christoff’s work, the work that was turned against them, was the one thing keeping him alive. For days, he worked to make more doses from the materials he brought with him. But there was only so much he could do with limited supplies… Hofnarr made many attempts to prolong the inevitable, lowering his dosage amount, injecting it weekly rather than daily, but he eventually ran dry. 

Refusing to turn to darker alternatives, he felt the only thing he could do at this point is record his final findings through video logs.

“It was… interesting revisiting the footage, to put it nicely. Christoff had actually kept the video files on a drive after he originally found all my things in the lab! I barely remembered what happened back then, so I rewatched them out of curiosity.”

On the first night, Hofnarr recorded a message for Christoff. One filled with sorrow, but also with gratitude. For the time that they spent together. How special he made him feel. All the memories they made together...

On the next, he recorded a log detailing his findings during Project Nexus. The effects of dissonance, the Other Place, what it did to him and his colleagues, everything and anything he could.

The next, he reported on the progression of his symptoms. Fever, brain fog, insomnia, joint pain. He felt like his organs were melting, his skin bursting at the seams.

The next night he saw something and remembered. Scars. The scars on his head. That week he was in the staff hospital. He thought it was a dream but the scars were there. Phobos. Director Phobos brought him somewhere that week. He knew he felt off when he woke up in the office that night. He knew something was off when Christoff asked him where he was. He thought he passed out from over-working. That bastard Phobos. Nausea was replaced with rage as he began to scream, his throat becoming raw. What did he put in him? What the hell did he put inside him!?

On the last recorded log, he was face-down on the ground. Groaning as his body occasionally convulsed. Until the video feed eventually cut off.

His body would lay there dormant, dead, for fifteen years. 

But to Hofnarr, he felt like he was dreaming.

.. “LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR OUR NEXT CONTESTANT!” ..

“Huh?” The doctor sat up and looked around, the area around him pitch black. Wasn’t he sleeping just a moment ago? He got up and took a step forward in the seemingly endless void. “H-Hello? Who’s out there?”

“AWW, DON’T BE SHY NOW! ESTEEMED AUDIENCE, A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR GUEST; THE UNFORTUNATE DOCTOR HOFNARR!”

A light shined down on him from above. A crowd seemingly began to cheer all around him. He was in the center of what looked like a talk show set. Hofnarr awkwardly scratched the corner of his face. “‘Unfortunate’? W-What do you mean? W-Who are you?”

“FIGHT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER!” The voice above him called out again. “AFTER ALL, IT’S…!” Hofnarr drowned out the noise while trying to think. It sounded familiar. Like it came from…

Hofnarr’s thoughts were cut short. He looked down at his torso. Terror set in as he recognized an entire stop sign had been lodged through his chest.

“DON’T GET COLD FEET NOW! THE SHOW’S ONLY JUST BEGUN!” 

The words echoed in Hofnarr’s mind as he frantically tried to pull it out, his vision growing muddled, his hands slipping with blood until…

He blinked.

No stage. No sound. No pain.

Nothing around except for a single white door in front of him.

He stood up again, cautiously reaching for the doorknob.

When he entered he seemed to be in a vintage styled home. It was a kitchen with checkerboard flooring, a table with two chairs, and cheerful music playing through a small radio. It smelled of pastry and medical equipment. Suddenly, there was a knock coming from the door. A familiar voice called from behind it.

“I’m home, dear.�� “J-Jeb?!”

Hofnarr rushed towards the front door. Christoff wasn’t trapped here too, was he? “Jeb! W-where are we!? What is this place? What happened to-”

As he opened the door, the clapping returned.

His husband was there, briefcase in hand, his face replaced with a black hole dripping with an unknown inky substance.

He slowly began to back away as “Jeb” moved closer.

The applause, the laughter, was deafening.

Before he could question or run away, Hofnarr was hit by something. His vision blurred, but refocused to be face-to-face with something. It seemed to be a shadow of himself. He tried to run again, but was pinned down by his doppelganger. The clone raised a clawed hand above him and then...

Like waking from a nightmare, Hofnarr quickly sat up once again. He gasped for air, dripping with cold sweat.

Was this really happening? Was it finally over? Was he free?

And then the spotlight focused on him again.

“It… got very surreal. Despite fight after fight, death after painful death... I would suddenly be somewhere else! There was a gameshow, our old apartment, a cat cafe, a... strip club of sorts, a tea room filled with these small armless doodles I used to draw on my research notes trying to offer me snacks… One time there was a sort of singing contest, but I won’t bore you with the details of that one. But when I wasn’t in those places, I felt like I was fighting for my life. It felt like an eternity! And the strangest part of it all? It… it became addicting.”

At first, he felt as if Hofnarr used all of his energy, physical and emotional, to fight back. It reminded him too much of his escape from Nexus. But as time went on, he focused less on escaping and more on surviving. The more he fought, the more he began to lose himself. He was anticipating what sudden whiplash of combat would be thrown at him next. He chuckled at the thought of what excitement would be heading his way. He wanted more. The fights became too slow. Too predictable. Too boring. He began toying with whatever was thrown at him. Turning his shadowy hunters into the hunted. Why let his audience watch the same old fights all the time?

Suddenly, the fighting stopped.

Why? 

He was having fun, wasn’t he? He grew impatient.

“WHAT’S THE HOLD UP!” He yelled into the void, seething with anger. “AREN’T WE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING? ISN’T THAT WHAT I’M HERE FOR?!”

He stomped his foot down, lodging something out of the ground.

The stop sign.

He looked over it curiously. How familiar…

Grabbing hold of it, quick flashes of memories appeared to him.

Nexus, the Science Tower, Phobos, the Other Place… 

A man with long hair standing next to...

Hofnarr… 

Who was that? Was that him?

No…

Only Tricky remained.

Footsteps echoed throughout the halls of the abandoned lab. Heels quickly clicking, cautiously stopping every so often. A lone Nexus Core agent entered through one of the doors.

Perfect timing.

“HAY! YOU THERE!!” A voice stuttered and glitched out, reverberating through the emptiness of the lab. The quickly soldier whipped their head around. “YEAH! YOU, STUPID. PLAY WITH ME!!”

“Who’s there?” The agent pointed their magnum towards the noise. “Show yourself!”

Gladly. The cackling figure emerged from the shadows, posing with a peace-sign, causing the agent to recoil. He grinned, slowly moving towards the cowering goon on the ground. They wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Who are you!?”

They couldn’t kill him.

“FIGHT FIRST. ASK QUESTIONS LATER! AFTER ALL…” 

CAN’T KILL CLOWN.

“IT’S MURDER TIME!”

..

“My body had been there, regenerating and repeating the enmeshment process for years. And by the time I woke up, I was a completely different person. I became a creature of unfiltered impulse… A personification of chaos itself.”

The room grew silent before Hofnarr spoke up again.

“I-Is it horrible to say it was… kind of cool?” He said with a nervous chuckle, twiddling his fingers.

2BDamned was quiet for a moment. They recalled the many times they had to stitch their comrades back together due to Clown Moments. They placed their head in their palms and let out a sigh.

“... You have the right to your own opinion.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BONUS: songs i was listening to on loop while working on this instead of doing my damned writing assignment. Enjoy

lady gaga ft. dorian electra - replay

vestik - tricky's vengeance ft. monocronic

[eclecticwordblender]

Mahabharata Highschool AU

(Part-4)

The Draupadi-Arjuna fiasco:

It was the first week of freshman year in high school. Most of the pumped up teenagers had a very recent visit from the puberty fairy. Kids were still choosing their ECAs.

It was Physical education. Most of the bright sportsmen decided to pick soccer, no one really paid much heed to basketball. The soccer feild was lively as always, so was the basement where kids who hated PE would sit and gossip while claiming to play tennis.

Drupad, the basketball coach, was disheartened, sitting alone in a corner when a chirpy freshman walked towards him.

“Umm. Morning sir, Could you tell me where to find a ball?”

He half heartedly looked towards this kid, her face glowed as though it reflected something ethereal, Drupad didn’t really care.

“Take this.”

“This has no air?”

Drupad laughed.

“So you really wanna play sports huh?”

“That’s funny because(?)”

“Well no one really wants to play basketball around here.”

“But I just saw one kid around here.”

“Must be Bheema. May I know you young lady?”

“I’m Draupadi. Freshman year.”

Draupadi started attending practices on a daily basis. Bheema started coming earlier than ever, the boy seemed smitten, why wouldn’t he, he had been, since junior school days, when no one really knew Draupadi. The boy shared his food with her everyday, one may say he was falling *in love*.

Arjuna and Krishna arrived at the practice one day, to meet their pal, Bheema. Draupadi was leaving, her long black hair, tied in a high ponytail, moving as she strutted. Arjuna developed an instant crush on this beauty who had just started becoming popular. Draupadi’s eyes found him too. She stood still, as though admiring every bit of this achingly beautiful boy.

Krishna smirked looking at those two. Arjuna seemed lost, so he asked Bheema-

“Should I do something my OTP has finally met!”

Bheema reluctantly forced a smile. He wanted to say no, to say that this will only cause chaos, but he saw Draupadi smiling, his heart sank, but wasn’t Draupadi’s happiness worth dying for too?

He nodded.

Krishna called out “Sakhi!!!”

Draupadi snapped out of her dream world. Walked towards them.

“Meet Arjuna. The guy I keep talking about. Arjuna, Draupadi, the girl I always wanted you to meet.”

Arjuna scratched the back of his head a little for despite being a ladies’ man he fumbled while conversing with Draupadi.

The bell for the morning assembly rang. The four of them rushed. Krishna, to the assembly, Arjuna and Draupadi, towards the soccer field because no one would catch them missing the assembly there, Bheema, towards the washroom.

Bheema sobbed a little. Soon he sucked it up. Decided he has to live it, for Draupadi he may be a friend but for him, she’s his whole world.

Arjuna and Draupadi sat in field, laughing. The set of kids who skipped the assembly daily staring at these newbies. They were mostly senior years, so they didn’t really care. The only other freshman present was Shishupal, *face palm*.

The next day school was a little different. A hot gossip around. Was Arjuna actually dating Draupadi!

Draupadi stormed at Arjuna upon hearing this.

“Excuse me!?!? Stop spreading these crappy stories!”

“Wait! Didn’t you do it?”

“Umm, NO!”

“Well the rumour doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?”

“I guess.”

Both of them smiled awkwardly, Arjuna pulled Draupadi closer, they kissed.

As they leaned away, twitching, still a little awkward.

“Who started the rumour then?”

They both shouted in unison- “SHISHUPAL!” Then laughed.

From a safe distance, Krishna silently giggled, he did start the rumour, but knew no one would doubt him, he’ll easily get away. “It was necessary,” he told himself and walked away.

While returning home, Krishna asked Arjuna about all the stories going around, acting as if he had no idea.

“Krishna, my eyes weren’t closed when I kissed her. What if I shouldn’t do this.”

“What crap bro! You both are soulmates made for each other stfu YOU LOVE HER SHE LOVES YOU.”

“Gee I wouldn’t say love.”

“Arjuna, bro STFU!”

Krishna called Draupadi that evening. She wouldn’t stop talking about the cutie who was her boyfriend now. She sort of had self esteem issues, despite being possibly the most beautiful girl in school, she couldn’t believe, HEARTTHROB ARJUNA WAS HER BOYFRIEND.

Soon the word spread. Teachers found out too. Ma’am Kunti couldn’t stand how someone was “Ruining” the life of her fav baby by being a “Distraction.”

She wouldn’t let Draupadi at peace. Sent her to the counsellor every single day.

Vidur was so annoyed, but only out of baseless respect for ma’am Kunti, he didn’t speak up. However, he helped Draupadi deal with that woman.

Yudhishthir, who tried v hard to become everyone’s favourite, and even thought that he was, said “If Ma’am Kunti says it she must have a point.”

Draupadi shot a look at him. He shut up. She has hated him ever since. Bheema wanted to beat this guy up, but wasn’t sure how Draupadi would feel about it. Yudhishthir would’ve had a good beating had it not been for that and the fact that Coach Drupad hadn’t become close to Dhrishtdyum yet.

Arjuna loved this extremely problematic teacher so much that he didn’t realise what Draupadi was going through. He even told her that she was the one who was overreacting, Ma’am Kunti was a goddess in human form.

Draupadi had enough. She walked up to Arjuna

“Arjuna, this isn’t working out.”

“Uh.. what do you mean?”

“We’re breaking up!”

“Umm.. well can I tell Karna that I broke up with you? I mean the guy wouldn’t leave a chance to mock me when he hears the real story.”

She rolled her eyes -

“ W h a t e v e r .”

Arjuna didn’t really seem to be impacted. It did hurt Draupadi. She didn’t shed a tear though, she accepted AND MOVED ON.

A lot of fake stories spread around about why the couple broke up. They were both bothered at first. Eventually, this made both of them immune to any rumour they’d encounter in future.

Some say coach Drupad was so annoyed by this that he privately called Krishna and told him how teachers find out everything the kids here do and HE SHOULD NEVER PLAY MATCHMAKER AGAIN!

Kunti ma’am still hates Draupadi for some reason.

Some say Draupadi got over it. Some say she still has feelings for Arjuna.

However, it doesn’t matter, they’re both still best friends, and their chemistry is so much more amazing this way. Even Subhadra isn’t insecure with them being friends.

Krishna looks at them hanging out together, while he’s with Radha after school-

“I’m telling you these two are going to end up together!”

“Krishna for the last time! THEY HAVE MOVED ON. ARJUNA IS NOT EVEN SINGLE.”

“Arjuna dating? Who?”

“Subhadra, she is like your little sister.”

“Oh. But you see.”

“Ugh! SHUT UP!”

Check out elaborate characterisation in the previous parts of the Mahabharata High School AU series at @eclecticwordblender

Tagging fandom mutuals because I need attention to matter in life- @incorrectmahabharatquotes @soniaoutloud @lemponkoira @askhindumyths @chaanv @bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @1nsaankahanhai-bkr @supermeh-krishnafan

[hatsampixie]

Spy vs Spy: Curse of the Were-Pyre, part 1

Warning, this story contains violence and blood!

"Okay, A.B, tonight's the 're-live-da-prom' party at the HQ, I know I sound like someone's mom for sayin' this, but you better be on your best behavior." Said Frank, the one living in the apartment room next door to Agent Black. (The Black Spy) "Don't worry Frank, I'll make sure he gets to the HQ, okay? I didn't have combat training for nothin'." Agent Gray said, with a reassuring look. As they were about to leave, Frank spoke up again "Oh, I forgot.. Small warning: As you’re going to the HQ, don't be late, and most importantly, don't walk home alone, there's a lot of sinister characters at this time of night.." Agent Black nodded as he and Agent Gray began to walk towards the tall gray building in the distance that would be the S.P.Y Headquarters. (Secretly Protecting You, yeah, they're still working on the acronym.) "See ya, Frank!"

"Okay, A.B, hopefully there's more girls there, 'cause I heard they weren't going this year. But again, I still really hope I'm not the only girl." Gray said as the elevator they were in slowly made it's way to the 12th floor, Black sighed. "To be fair, I hope you're not the only girl either, 'cuz you're my partner, and-" Before Black could finish, Gray elbowed him slightly, a cue for him to shut up. "..Let's just go inside and have a good time." A ding was heard, and the elevator door opened as they were now on the 12th floor, they opened and went through the door to the HQ..

The entire HQ was decorated with multi-colored lights, balloons, and even a DJ booth, which was flooding the room with the sound of 8-bit midi music. You don't get to see that every day in the HQ, especially since the color theme was mostly monochrome. "Oh my goodness.. This is awsoome!" Black said, his eyes widening with delight. A person wearing an over-saturated shirt turned towards the two agents and grinned, it was Agent Bruce, who had finally got the chance to dress in actual colors. "Oh man, Black! This party is off the hook! so many people have turned up! Yeeeaaah!" He said in his excitement, busting some moves as he did so, (including some Michael Jackson and PSY dance moves XD) Another person suddenly popped up, once again, dressed in bright colors, this time in the form of a wide-brimmed hat and overcoat, it was a little too much for Black and Gray to see. "Yee-haa! Hey guys, how's it goin?" the fellow said, "Looks like there's LOADS of people that have turned up!" He kind of spoke with a sarcastic streak, but he had a point. Looking around, Black and Gray couldn't see any other people besides themselves, Agent Bruce, the brightly-colored spy weirdo, and the guy at the disco booth; there were only 5 people here. "Oh, this isn't good. ..Why didn't they turn up?" Black thought to himself, even Gray was shocked. "Oh geez, I'm the only girl.." Now Agent Bruce had his eyes on Agent Gray, and walked up next to her, he tried to wrap an arm around her, but Gray shoved him away. "Yep, this is what I've been waiting for; I paid everyone off just to be here all by myself, isn't that right Harold?" Bruce asked, turning to the guy working the disco booth, who simply responded with a not amused look, and he spoke in a monotone voice: "No, no one turned up because it's an idiotic dance."

Black and Gray suddenly flinched as the brightly-dressed weirdo just breezed right on past them, jumping around like a ballerina. "Bruce is a party god! YEAAAAHAHABLAAHAHAHA!" he screamed. Black and Gray stared blankly for a moment, "Okay, this is really really weird.." Gray turned to him and nodded silently in agreement, "Alright, alright, you know what? I don't like this party, okay? I'm leaving by myself." Meanwhile, Bruce had dragged Gray over to a nearby photo booth, and wanted to take a picture with her, much to her chagrin. "Black, you know what Frank said: don't walk home alone!" The dark wide-brimmed hat wearing fellow rolled his eyes, "Well, you know what? I don't care 'bout what he said, it's a really cool party, but I'll see you when I get home, okay?" he said, and walked out of the HQ and into the elevator, he pushed a button and it slowly began it's descent to the bottom floor.

The full moon illuminated the dark streets of Monochropolous, most of the buildings had their lights off, while some were on, and a cold breeze was blowing softly through the air, sending some leaves rolling about like tumbleweeds, the darkness and the autumn breeze gave this place a creepy atmosphere at night. "Oh my goodness, that party was so dead.. I'm glad that I'm walkin' home alone.. Even though Mr-know-it-all told me not to, I'm doin' it my way.." Black mumbled under his breath as he followed the sidewalk that he thought would be the best path home, as he walked along he paused and looked at a Mountain Dew vending machine. "..I really wish that that vending machine was fixed, if only I could just put in a coin, and get myself a nice cold can of-" Black jumped and turned as he saw someone out of the corner of his eye, upon getting a good look at the man, he saw that the fellow was wearing an all-orange suit with small numbers over the chest area, his eyes widened upon realizing he was face-to-face with an escaped criminal.

"Who are you, pal?" The man asked, raising an eyebrow, the trained spy stood his ground, unfazed. "..T-that's none of your concern!" he shouted. The man advanced towards him and growled, "Give me all your money." Black reached in his pockets for a weapon, he felt around, nothing accept a small towel, a map, and his wallet. With horror he realized he made the worst mistake any Spy can make: Going alone without a weapon for self defence.

Well, if he had no weapon to fight with, he might as well use his combat training. "Oooh, sorry, don't have any money!" he lied, The criminal smirked. "I know that you're wrong, sir. The thing is.. I've got a knife, and I can stab you!" he reached in his pocket, and pulled out what looked like a shaving razor kit, but then a long, razor sharp serrated knife popped out of nowhere; this villain had a switch-blade. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, I'm saving my money so that I can get Mountain Dews on break hours, plus: You should know that I'm a black belt in karate." Black also replied with a smirk, trying to keep his cool. "Oh, very funny. My intention was to rob this vending machine, but I STILL want cash, so give it to me!" "Not a chance, bub!" Black then lashed out and kicked the villain right in the crotch, the criminal's eyes widened as he collapsed in a whimpering heap. Black reached in his wallet and tossed only 3 dollars at the man, "There, that can get you a Happy Meal at Old Mcdonalds. Now, scram, punk!" The crippled fellow slowly got up, whimpering in terror, and ran off down the street, and hid behind someone's car. "That's what I thought." The spy said, brushing himself off.

But as he was about to continue down the street, Black paused and looked all around him, he saw that the apartment building was nowhere in sight, "Great.. Just great!" He grumbled, reaching in his pocket to pull out a map that he had, then he heard a strange sound: A sharp hiss behind him, Black froze for a moment, then slowly turned to it's source. At first he saw nothing in the alleyway, just darkness.. But then two small red pinpricks that would be eyes pierced through the empty blackness. In an instant he knew that this wasn't the criminal from before, now it was his turn to ask. "Who are you?" After a moment, a dark inhuman voice echoed out. "..Like you said, 'none of your concern'." Black felt a lump form in his throat, "Yeah, well.. As I said, I have been trained in hand-to-hand combat, and I've got a weapon!" The voice chuckled at this, "Oh, do you now? Well.. that's not what I remember.. And, I can smell you're blood, and fear.." At that moment, he saw two small sharp things come into view, glinting in the moonlight. They looked like.. And that's when Black put it all together: This thing can smell blood, it has red eyes, and sharp teeth. Oh crap, it was a.. "W-what are you gonna do to me?" Black asked as sweat began to drip down his forehead. "I'm just going to take a little bite, if you don't mind.." As the spy slowly backed away, he saw the figure of a person slowly come into view, with the red eyes and fangs included. But then before you could say "Holy shnitzel!" The singularity leapt at Black at such speed that it was just a blur, he felt himself getting grabbed by the head and one of his shoulders, and then he let out an ear-splitting scream of agony as he felt those fangs sink between his neck and shoulder-blade, after just 5 seconds he felt the fangs remove themselves from his flesh, "Thank you so much.. Bye bye!" The creepy voice echoed into his ear, a second later, he saw a large bat-like figure open it's wings and fly out of sight.

Immediately, Black placed a hand on his neck to slow down the bleeding, bags had begun to form under his eyes from weakness and blood loss, at the same time he thought he felt his canines grow an inch longer. He reached into his right pocket and pulled out a small emergency towel and pressed it against the wound, grinding his teeth in pain. "Aw no.. *cough!* I can't believe I got bit by a.. ow.. by a v-vampire.. " Black lowered his head and whimpered softly, as he felt tears stream down his cheeks and drip from his pointy nose and onto the cement ground.

Then he heard a thud, the sound of someone, or something, landing on the ground behind him. Slowly he turned to it's source, wiping the tears from his cheeks, "G-gray?" The sound he heard next wasn't the voice of a human, but the growl of an angry animal. A second later, Two small yellow pinpricks pierced through the empty blackness, Another shadowed figure came into view, at first it was advancing towards him on two legs, but then it slowly dropped on all fours as drool dripped from it's sharp fangs. Glancing up at the full moon in the night sky, there was only one possibility: A werewolf, why'd it have to be a werewolf?

Black knew that he couldn't fight off this monster in his weakened state, he couldn't even call for help; he didn't have a phone. "..W-wait, I've gotten bit by a *cough!* a vampire.. If I got b-bit by a werewolf t-*cough!* t-then something bad'll happen! Please, don't!" He whimpered, almost as if doing the opposite of what he said, the beast snarled and lunged at Black, biting him right in the arm, easily drawing more blood. Once again, a scream of agony escaped his lips. Due to shock and loss of blood, he saw his vision get blurry and black, and he fell to the ground, and passed out.

His eyes shot open as he felt pain shoot throughout his body, but at the same time, he felt his energy come flooding back to him, he could only manage to get on his knees, due to him still being weakened, he hugged himself in pain as he felt himself transform. His teeth, not just his canines, grew longer and more sharp, resembling the teeth of a monstrous carnivore. His ears (which weren't visible before) grew longer and curved and turned a bit furry, they now resembled the pointed ears of a wolf. His black overcoat became torn as he grew a foot taller, he felt his tail bone grow longer, until a furry tail burst from his pants. (Embarrassed, Black blushed a bit at this.) And to top this all off, he felt the bones in his fingers and hands spread out and grow longer, until they became the giant veined wings of a bat, his white pupils narrowed to cat-like slits.

His neck also stopped bleeding and his injured arm healed.

Eventually, the pain passed through him and went away, as his blurry vision swam into focus, Black looked left and right, exploring his surroundings which were now becoming high-def. "Oh.. W-what happened..?" He asked, his voice now deeper. He looked down at his hands, and saw that they were huge, monstrous bat wings! When he saw this, he immediately woke up. "AAAAAGGGHHH! What happened to me?!" Slowly, he felt his memories come flooding back to him. "Aw man.. I'm a Vamp-Wolf! Well, actually that one sounds stupid.. oh, I got it! I'm a Were-Pyre, NOOO!" The newly transformed Black paused for a moment before a villainous grin crossed his face, long fangs glinting in the moonlight. "Oh.. But I feel so powerful.. Yes.. I want.. I need to get revenge.. REVENGE!!" He roared, Black opened his huge bat wings, and with just 4 flaps, he took to the sky. Looking down, he saw the Werewolf and Vampire from before perched on top of one of the buildings, looking up in horror at this flying monster before them, the expressions on their faces said all too clearly: "What have we done?"

The criminal from before walked out from behind the car, looking around, he saw that that Black Spy was nowhere in sight, he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he looked at the 3 dollars in his hands and glared, "3 dollars, that's not even enough to buy me a stupid-" Then he heard the loud flapping of wings, and the thud of something landing just 6 feet away from him. The criminal gulped, for he was too scared to even look behind him. "Oh, burg-larr!" A deep growling sing-songy voice echoed out, The criminal whimpered and slowly looked behind him, his eyes widened in fear, and then he screamed as he saw the figure of a winged beast lunge for him screeching, with it's mouth wide open, hinged like a snake.

-

Black slowly licked the remaining blood off his lips, the criminal had now become a midnight snack. The monster-turned spy glanced up at the buildings from where he saw the Werewolf and Vampire that had turned him, they were nowhere in sight, they were gone. Black opened his wings once again and flew to the top of one of the buildings, and looked up at the full moon, a bloodstained grin spreading across his face. He threw his head back, opened his large bat wings, and unleashed a loud inhuman howl that echoed throughout Monochropolous.

"AAAAAA-OOOOOOOO!!!!"

[alovevigilante]

George Carlin: Trix, are for kids.

Kari: Well, Mikey likes it.

George: That’s life. My point exactly.

Kari: What is this in reference to exactly?

George: Cereal.

Kari: why are we discussing cereal? I was politely drinking my coffee, and keeping to myself...

George: you forget, you think ass thoughts, so I’m here, to interrupt your negative flow.

Kari: what was I thinking about?

George: ass.

Kari: I was?! I didn’t even realize I was entertaining that.

George: Kari, you’ve been entertaining ass all this time and you don’t even know it...

Kari: I do? Is it amused?

George: very.

Kari: well then, I guess that’s good?

George: are you happy right now?

Kari: not particularly.

George: then it’s not good.

Kari: right. So, you’re saying that you interrupted my flow, with cereal. Why?

George: couple of reasons: 1. It’s breakfast time, and I’m hungry.

Kari: I’m not.

George: yeah, i noticed.

Kari: ok, well, what’s the second reason?

George: you don’t even realize it, do you?

Kari: probably not. What is it?

George: you are now, alone, and talking to yourself. And I’m not ok with it.

Kari: why not?

George: cause you have a friend waiting to invest in you, and you’re ignoring him.

Kari: I am?!

George: yes.

Kari: ok, who is it?

George: your son. He wants you to talk to him about silly shit. And you are sitting here, wallowing in your old energy of career woes.

Kari: I was?! I’m talking to him!

George: yes, but not fully. So, go give your full attention to him! Watch his Cookie Monster make shit in his food truck even though he’s a monster, and he lives on a street with weird animals that talk, and people who don’t think that’s at all unusual.

Kari: I’ve always wanted to live there too..

George: I know. You’re weird too.

Kari: yeah. So I’ve been told and thought of that way...

George: besides, you’re entirely too filthy to live there because of your ass talk.

Kari: maybe I could live with Oscar... He’s pretty filthy too.

George: no, he already lives with Chong. Besides, Frank oz has banned you from there for life because of your nut bag naughty talk.

Kari: oh... ok. Well, dreams are not all they’re cracked up to be sometimes anyway, I guess.

George: your dreams aren’t you. You create them. Do you think you’d really be happy living on Sesame Street?

Kari: no, I’m pretty ok not doing that.

George: right. So, be cool where you are, and then once that happens, you can move on up to the east side. But before you do that, you have to be cool, with you.

Kari: oh shit. I’m never going to be the Jeffersons, ok?! I’m going to be working on this forever.... I feel like I’ll never get there.

George: well, you won’t if you sit on the internet writing about how you won’t, and avoiding engaging in your present moment which is where you are physically right now in your three dimensional reality.

Karl: good point.

George: it’s why I’m here.

Kari: ok, well, bye for now, I guess.

George; I’m coming with you. There’s nothing going on on here without you. I’m done with the sifting through sexy illustrations to entertain the few who dig them.

Belushi, John: I’m not!

George: yes, we are.

Kari: ok, well, let’s go.

John: noooooooooooooooooo....

George: yes.

Kari: I’m tired.

George: Leave us here then.

John Belushi: yes!!!

Kari: ok, cool. See ya whenever.

Richard Pryor: (to George) listen, she is my pal, ok? I’m not cool with her leaving us here to be ourselves on the internet. I’m not ok with that. Ok?! So no. And I’m mad. And I’m sad. And I’m not going to take it anymore. And I’m going to hold my breath and turn pink and beige and purple and cry and scream and joke and get my dick caught in my fly, and pee on my radio I walk around with, and discuss taboo subjects that most women wouldn’t go near with a ten foot dick asshole combo pole, cause she and I are cool, ok? So leave it be, George!

George: ok, Richie.That’s the reason why she’s upset. This energy she’s writing, is us man, ok? It’s not her. That’s the reason why she’s yelling every five minutes about famous people that she has a slight, marginal interest in.

Kari: that’s actually not true.

George: then why are you yelling?

Kari: ok, well, a few reasons. 1. I’m Italian, so it goes without stereotypical saying, 2. I’m mad, because you guys won’t shut it, and mainly 3. Because these are the NUT BAG MOTHBALLS that made me want to go into the entertainment field to begin with.

George: why does that make you mad and yell?

Kari: because I need a job, and I’m now the laughing stock of Hollywood because of my ass writing! And now, I feel the need to go back to school, to make myself into something I’m not, to get paid in a job that I’m not qualified for, ok?! No. It’s not ok. I’m not ok with it!!! I’m pissed that I decided to chase a dream that didn’t pan out, and didn’t fulfill me, because I found out too late, that I didn’t invest fully, in believing in myself. I listened to what everyone else thought about me, and I swallowed it. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere, because I felt like I wasn’t accepted or liked. And that completely fucked me up. I’m still like that. And instead of caring about myself, and supporting myself internally, I changed my career, and spent our nest egg on being a designer for an exhibit that I couldn’t pull off for various reasons with help from my husband and a handful of others, trying to prove myself to people and the world at large that I was worth investing in, and that they themselves, were also worth investing in. I just have nothing to go back to... Sigh... It’s a longer story than war or peace...

Belushi, John: or this story you’re telling now...

Kari: Belushi, I’m not in the mood. I will string you up by your grubby lil toes and wave your ass all around Chicagoland because I don’t leave my city often, and display you in the next thanksgiving day parade here, on state street, next to the second bozo which isn’t too shabby but he’s no bob bell which he literally isn’t, and svengoolie, who should be in the parade, but isn’t! Ok?! So start with me again, poop bucket! I’m not in the mood to scoop your shit today, ok?! Yeahhh! And now on top of all that, I have to tend to you cause you’re a pain in my ass, I have to go back to school which I don’t have the dough or energy to do, I’m going to be over 50 before I can have enough credits and credentials so I can prove to society that I’m qualified to be a professional something or other, and I’ll be in the hole another hundred grand at least, and no, autocorrect, I’m not bitter, I’m sad, and lost, and aggravated, and done with all of this.

Belushi, John: pft... women...

Kari: I’ll give you women, ok? You take away the w in women and that’s what you’re gonna get from me in about 5 milliseconds ok? The Omen! Ok?! And not just because I have my lady time, ok?!!? Just start running now.. run for the Hollywood hills...

Belushi John: ha! The jokes on her, she’ll never go there...

Kari: I will go just to pin you up by your asscheeks, and go to verbally pummel the douche that made the “Jeff” meme go viral. But, my neighbor’s name is also Jeff. Do check out HIS good shit, cause he’s an amazing guitarist... just sayin... so shut your pie ass flap mouth butt jerk fach John Belushi head!

Belushi, John: No! Now wait a minute! Wait just a cotton pickin John candy corn minute...

John candy; No.

George: see Richie?! That’s why we can’t do this anymore... This shit is out of control.

Richard: ok, Kari, I get all of this, ok? I really do. Listen, we all got a good thing going here, ok? You’re like a man that looks like a woman, and you’re fun, and we can say our shit, and talk about the shit, and be the best of us without getting bashed by the critics, and no one gives a shit, ok?

Kari: But they do give a shit!!!

Richard: but do you?

Kari: I guess I do....

George: yeah, that’s what we’ve been working on thinking ourselves out of. Where have you been, Richie?!

Rick James: cocaine is a hell of a drug...

Richard: So let’s stay here and be cool, Kari, ok?! You’re as honest as fuck, ok? And that’s really honest. And we can work it out together, ok? And you won’t talk shit about bill Murray anymore cause Harold Ramis decided that he’s no fun anymore anyway.

Harold ramis: it’s true. Bill Murray is no fun anymore anyway.

(George turns back to Kari.)

George: Kari?

Kari: right. Scene.

George: no! Kari. You! Just fucking finally be ok, with you! You are also, this, in a way. And you know it. You’ve just never been brave enough to trust it, or let anyone see it! So bring it back around.

Kari: how the hell can I do that?! This shit went all over creation, ok?! I don’t know how to bring it back! We went from negative subconscious thoughts to not spending time with my son who’s taking to me about Cookie Monster and Swedish pancakes or something cause I’m half listening and not present writing you goofballs, to living with Oscar and Chong in oscars garbage can on Sesame Street, and then Richard wants to stay and yell about his sore dick without people being pissed about it, and Belushi, John wants to weed though dirty pics for the rest of my life....

John: I do, I really do...

Jackie mason: and Richard screams like a kid, that’s turns all shades of colors cause he’s pitching a fit, and she is a visibly labeled a white woman even though she doesn’t define or identify herself like that, but people don’t know where she’s coming from, so they potentially think she’s a racist and a lunatic cause they’ve never met her before, and she’s talking more shit than Steve Martin did as Navin r. Johnson in the jerk, and everyone accepted that shit, and she’s also talking like dead and live celebrities! They don’t know her from shit, or shineola, and yet they avoid her like she is shit, because of all of this! And Harold ramis called bill Murray a sad sack of potatoes the other day, and her only 2 points of reference to zets him are ghostbusters and meatballs! And she’s sick of it! Ok?! I’m done too! We all are! How many times can she talk about meatballs the movie in her life?! There’s a limit! And if there isn’t, there should be! And I’m even done with the meatballs, ok?! And that’s saying something! It is!!!! Cause I’m not Italian, but I normally love meatballs! And people are like, “why the hell is she talking about that movie meatballs? It’s 700 years old!” And moreover, most people are like, “what the hell is she talking about cause I’ve never even heard of the movie meatballs ever!!!” Ok?! So no! No to all of this!!!! And you don’t need an optigrab to see THAT! (Put the emphasis on the single syllable, THAT! Please read this stage direction out loud. Didn’t? Go back to the beginning of this scene, and do it all over again. Thank you- the management... read this part too... out loud. Yes.) oy. She’s a real nus pilke!

Kari: How the hell do I put a button on this nut ball scene?!

George: Kari, it’s breakfast time. Ok? So go eat.

Kari: righto.

Arthur Spooner: you owe the king of queens 7 zillion dollars and ten cents for the use of the word, “righto” as residual payment for quotes.

Kari: put it on my tab.

Steve Martin: ahhhhh yessss... your TAB.... (Steve paces around in silence for effect) You, mrs. Smartyshortlessbutyouareshortsoyes, owe me, the very abundant Steve Marin, THI-RTY big ones.... yes!!!! Thirty whole CENTS, for the shineola and optigrab reference, NOT to mention but I will because I always do, the use of the word tab, because I, Steve Martin alone, featured it in the jerk the movie, back in 1979, which I can’t remember, because I’ve been too obsessed with blue grasses for the last umpteen years! So yes, mrs. Keillornopantscausetheygowayupyournetherlandsnevertoreturnagain, I’m mad at you, a woman I don’t know about and have never met and don’t want to cause I’m a very busy and important star, yessss, and I hate you, even though all the aforementioned shit, and shineola, which I can say without crediting or paying myself, or I can’t, check said THAT! Not to mention that now I am a big time master class leader teacher, which puts me next in line to be the Pope of comedy not funny, erase it, no, and you are a grammatical mess, with your run on sentences and lack of proper punctuation...

John Cleese and Eric idly watching in agreement: quite.

John Cleese: I also teach a masters class in comedy.

Steve Martin: .... Which means yes to me, and yes to John Cleese, but no, to you, Kari keillor, for your ass talk. And if Carl Reiner was here, he’d say the same thing, only with a wink, and a gotcha!!!! Mr. serious Steve Martin, which I am, cause I forgot who was talking, so stick THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, lady!!!!

Joe Tex: 🥸🎶 He GOTCHA! 🎶

Kari: oh duck....

George: go now, before it gets worse.

Kari: ok, fine! I’ll put a button on this shit myself!!!! Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes are grrrrrrreat!

Tony the Tiger: you owe Kellogg’s 10 cents bitch...

John: man, that tiger is an assss!

George: listen Kari, feeling grrrrreat is a bit too lofty of an energy from where your at right now in this scene to be able to maintain it. Try for a bran cereal. That’s the next best energy for your mood, and it’ll help you to eliminate this shit.

Kari: ok. Plop, plop, fizz fizz oh what a relief it is...

George: close enough.

Scene.

P.S. I do love ALL my ladies of comedy. Yes, all... including the men.

This monologue/scene, is written by me, and for no one but me. I’m pretty sure it will now ensure my demise in the entertainment industry, and most likely go down, as the worst piece of shit, ever written. I will now go, and search the want ads, and forget all about this.... hopefully.

Appendices: I found 2 potential job leads. Fingers crossed 🤞....

[conelly]

( luke hemmings, twenty-two, cismale, he/him ) did you see BYRON CONELLY walking down main street earlier?  you know who i’m talking about, they’re a DECKHAND.  everybody in town says that they’re SANGUINE & NONJUDGEMENTAL, but have a tendency to be IMPRESSIONABLE & VOLATILE too.  BYRON has been in town for ONE AND A BIT years. c'mon, they’re always requesting SWEET CAROLINE by NEIL DIAMOND at karaoke nights.  well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! ( ooc: sunny, 22, she/her, est )

hi thanks for tuning in, SUNNY here to tell you all a lil bit about westmere’s very own new nd improved favorite loser below. sorry for this summary being all over the place, it’s kinda how my brain works heh which is kinda perfect bc byron will for SURE be all over the place too ( u can rly tell at a certain point i was like ok i give up + i’m posting mf ). let me know if u have any questions about ‘em and most importantly, lmk if you would like to plot a lil connect or sumn 😙

@westmerestarters​ 

FAMBAM + BACKGROUND

born 14 years after the elder conelly ( wanted brother connect !!! ) entered this word to two parents who didn’t seem to read the job description, it was clear that byron wasn’t planned. and down the line, he’d soon realize through the tumultuous household he was brought up in - perhaps never even wanted.

byron’s parents had one constant - and that was fighting. over anything, all the time. there just wasn’t any love between the two and they stayed together for whatever meaningless reasons until byron hit middle school. ( there might’ve been a super short lull in toxicity once byron was born, but it had to be short as his first memories are nothing shy of toxic. )  it was a messy separation ( they never paid the full legal fees for a full divorce ) - his father moving to the coast of nj & his mother moving to a smaller apartment nearby her own mother ( which, due to the negative relationship among his mother + grandmother, also called for more tension ). he’d often be dropped off @ his grandmother’s house for baby-sitting or when he was ‘ becoming too much to handle. ’ eventually his grandmother moved into his cousin’s house ( MONROE ) and although grateful he made a practically new brother, similar tendencies of feeling unwanted occurred when byron noticed their grandmother praising and coddling and favoriting monroe just a bit more.

( his mother was a struggling addict ( and had been her whole life ), but the loneliness, newfound pressures and whatever excuse she was able to name caused her drinking to spiral worse than byron remembered ( even at his young age ) before. )

( his father was rarely in his life, but when he was, he was THE coolest. always played good cop in any situation regarding his mother, despite choosing not to have an active role in byron’s life. byron looked up to him like no other. when he WAS around, he taught byron how to surf, skateboard, play sports, they’d play video games, they’d eat junk food - honestly anything that byron wanted to do. his dad was an adrenaline junkie and created the stepping stones for byron to be one too. he was a marine biologist & pretty successful at that. passionate,  intelligent, but seemingly finding his newfound life a lot better than his previous - which is why he never wanted byron to stay too long, the boy reminded him of her, of the past. )

( his older brother moved out of the house when byron was just a lil kid, they’re not very close and don’t have much in common ... or so it seems. he lives in nyc and they only talk here and there on holidays. he was never a huge part of his life, but it does bum him out to think what could’ve been / could be. )

TO GET THE GIST 

due to never receiving the attention he craved from his family members, he made up for it tenfold in school. he was always talking to everyone, loud, boisterous, gregarious, life of the party; he wanted people to like him and they did. he become a total people pleaser, molding himself to make sure everyone was content and stayed around. impressionable, adaptable. he felt less this way towards adults and had a bit of a rebellious phase, hanging with the wrong crowd & getting into things he probably wouldn’t do otherwise. old habits die hard and he still tries his best to make everyone crack a smile, to remember him - since he believes he won’t be remembered for much else.

after he just barely skated by in high school ( his grades were never as good as his cousin’s and never lived up to his father’s expectations ), byron felt a bit lost. a lot of people had plans, were heading off to college - but already under the assumption he couldn’t reach any expectation in that realm ( a lil self fulfilling prophecy am i right pals ), he stayed in town - caring for his mother who hardly had anything together, his uncle who got sick very quickly & passed, spending time with his grandmother, while he himself fell into a rut. most of his days meant he drove out towards his dad’s place ( dad hardly there now, out and about with his new family ), surfing, smoking, and grabbing some cash doing odd jobs any way he could. he lost any purpose he once had ( but yall would never know it bc who wants to be in someone’s life who’s a buzzkill ? all smiles, baby, all smiles. )

IN WESTMERE

when his cousin offered the opportunity to travel cross-country in his van, byron had nothing to lose. always adventurous in spirit, he immediately said yes - deciding to ignore that ‘obligation,’ that feeling to make sure they were a-ok that he felt towards his parents. he needed an out and this was it. 

after landing in the small connecticut town for the night, the two fell for it - especially since when they got there along the water, it was a summer night + everything landed into place. they decided to stay there a bit longer ... and that eventually turned into more than a year. still antsy to keep traveling and to move around, byron has been ready to head out ... but stays for a few reasons - and them all being people ( bc lbh the surf is not even on point here ok )

his current job is a deckhand ( on a bunch of boats, ppl prob hired him as word of mouth got around that he knew what he was doing ). prob got that knowledge from being by his dad’s on the water when younger ( he’s ... obsessed with the water ) ! and also he’s just a quick learner ok ( ps: if your charrie has a boat pls let’s make somethin happen )

TO KNOW [ headcanons + more ]

his fav karaoke song is sweet caroline bc he knows everyone will be able to sing nd party along. he does it for the ppl, ppl.

he never saw too many baby / kid pics of himself which was kind of a bummer bc he really only remembers negative times - somehow they overpowered ( i bet lil byron was cute as fuck too fml )

he’s super into drugs, hallucinogenics, honestly you name it. it started off w/ him being impressionable, then bored, and now he just enjoys it. despite his mother’s addiction running through his blood, he still continues to do his thang.  

longboards around town so watch your toes

uses 🤙🤙 all the time and not ironically 

has an existential crisis on the daily about purpose but keeps that to himself most times 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone pls give me a sugar mama idc how we plot it out they don’t have to hook up they can idk idc i just want someone giving him money or expensive things it can be so much fun ok ,, pool boy ? idk sign me up

pls if your muse has a boat, let him be the deckhand ok it will also be so fun and potentially angsty if he fucks something up

a fling 100% - even multiple ? idc listen he is currently sharing a tiny VAN with his COUSIN he needs a place - like an actual bed - to crash on at night

can he save someone who was potentially drowning pls??? he used to be a lifeguard, it can be a cool/fun thread to write out

omg off of that can he teach someone how to swim 

look if anyone is into marine bio, can they somehow know byron’s father ?? i feel like that could make room for a cool plot

also i have an older brother connect on the w/c’s page lmk lmk

give me a good influence that will somehow have him open up + tell him that it’s weird to be so sunshiny all the time. maybe someone who witnesses him at his worst + stays, ya know ??

a bad influence plot where y/c takes this impressionable young lad and puts him through the ringer tbh ( srrsly he’d do a lot for ppl, so ask him to do something illegal for them it’ll be fun )

party pals, smoking pals, on the water 24/7 pals, 

co-worker, other ppl that work on the water ( fishermen?? more deckhands?? captains??)

gimmie someone he accidentally bumped into while longboarding ( he’s a large human it might’ve done damage ok )

i want and need enemies ok i know he’s chill as fuck and wants everyone to like him but there’s always a way to find enemies >:o. anything angsty for REAL.

unrequited thing? where he led someone on?? i’m sure he does this constantly

don’t ruin the friendship thing omg plsssss always so fun

look i’m open for it ALL. every plot u have in mind so lay it on me

[peytonainsworthh]

{ madelaine petsch ♔ twenty-five ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t peyton ainsworth running around peach hollow. legend has it, they come from oliver avenue and have lived here for eight months. if you’re wondering what they are up to, i hear they’re an event planner for a living. they have been known to be vicious yet loyal. a word of advice to them, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching. { haley ♔ twenty ♔ est ♔ she/her }

hello everyone and welcome to peach hollow!! as an admin i am so excited to get this party started. us admins are five ppl who love to write and have been through way too many failed rps. soooo we put in all of our love in effort into making this one!!

 this is my bby peyton she’s def an acquired taste bc well she’s a bitch but you’re gonna love her i promise!! anyways i’m haley and we should plot!

past

peyton hasn’t live in georgia all of her life. in fact she is one of the town’s newer residence. she moved there a little under a year ago with her mom and sister.

peyton was born and raised in san francisco in a neighborhood called pacific heights, commonly known as billionaire’s row.

she was born into wealth, her father owning a chain of five star hotels that had been passed down through the generations for as long as she could remember. she spent a ton of time in the beautiful hotels her father owned, learning her work ethic from him. her father was stoic man who put more value on a dollar than substantial relationships with his family. your typical rich dad.

her mother was a trophy wife, spewing meaningless side projects like perfume lines and eye shadow palettes that enviably made their way into departments stores alike.

peyton’s fondest childhood memories was helping set up for the weddings in the hotels. watching the flowers be arranged, the chairs be strategically placed, the wait staff setting the champagne flutes. this lead to her taking an interest in doodling wedding dresses and small flower arrangements.

she has a small wildflower tattoo going along the curve of her breast that she drew, fun fact.

when she was three, her little sister was born. the two grew up inseparable, running amuck in their house together, pranking the nannies but most importantly: ice skating. there were obviously no ice rinks in california naturally but their nanny would take them to an indoor skating rink for lessons. peyton and audrey were quite good skaters.

in high school, peyton won a ton of awards in art contests and even got scholarship to attend art schools across the country.

her dad insisted there was no money in being artist (even if money was never a problem for them), he urged her to take over and be a hotel tycoon like him. peyton and her father fought a lot towards the end of high school about this but at the end of the day, she was her fathers daughter and was stubborn. peyton knew the key to happiness was chasing you passion instead of the dollar.

she attended rhode island school of art and design, earning a degree in interior design and a minor in illustrator. after graduating, she returned home and expected to have a job in the hotel that could suit her.

as she expected, her father got her a job in his business planning the events and having creative control over how each other ballrooms looked as well as the lobbies. working in close quarters with her father made their relationship grow quite strong. the two did everything together and suddenly their stoic walls were crumbling, only for each other.

it seemed as though everything in peyton’s life was coming together. she was the head event coordinator at the hotel, her father was her boss and allowed her to have free range. her sister was around so they could goof off at work.

this was until one day peyton was bringing her father lunch from their favorite mexican food truck in the city. she then walked in on her father sleeping with his assistant which put a stake in their relationship.

peyton couldn’t keep the secret from her mother. she’d rather her mother walk away with dignity rather than stay with a man who had no respect for her. but her mother did not have the same respect for herself.

peyton made the decision to take her funds and move to georgia to be near her grandparents, that’s how she ended up in peach hollow.

now, in peach hollow:

peyton enjoys living in peach hollow. she likes being close her grandparents and she enjoys being surrounded by wealthy and like minded people, due to being a bit prissy.

the redhead can’t seem to shake her bitterness about her father’s affair and paid people in her father’s company to teach her how to hack.

she started using hacking to see her father’s finances and text messages but has graduated onto hacking other people’s phones, nobody’s really safe.

her father tries to reach out but she doesn’t offer any forgiveness. but she pays him little mind.

her mother often sends her checks and peyton will occasionally cast them in times of desperation but peyton is pretty well off living in a nice home on oliver avenue. 

peyton is an event planner and works with some of the richest people in georgia. she works mostly at the caledonia in their grandiose ballroom, throwing gatsby scale events. 

the redhead loved the thrill and pride of hosting such events: weddings, birthday parties, company gatherings, new years eve bashes and so on. but most importantly, she loved meeting people in networking the way a true socialite does. 

this networking lead her into the lifestyle of being friends with richer families in peach hollow. and more than friends with the men. peyton persued being an escort for a few reasons.

to maintain social status

get a nice paycheck

get back at her father

BEING AN ESCORT IS A SECRET SHE KEEPS FROM EVERYONE IN HER LIFE. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW ARE HER CLIENTS WHO WANT THINGS TO BE EQUALLY CONFIDENTIAL. 

personality:

perfectionist!! detail oriented!!

CRAZY PSYCHO BITCH

the problem child bc her sister is an angel

big bitch but has a heart sometimes

she will not go get mexican food w u don’t even ask but she really just wants a damn burrito

will literally come over and marie kondo ur entire life

evil genius and luvs revenge

a legit psycho when it comes to loving people like has hacked her exes phones even though she seems calm and collected on surface level

will force u to watch home videos of her skating and u will watch

don’t ask to see her sketch books she will blush and change the subject

wanted connections:

ex bf/gf: peyton met them shortly after moving to nyc. they showed her the ropes to the east coast and they did everything touristy you can think of together. they were super toxic because peyton is CRAZY. we can plot how they broke up and when.

a no homo friendship: a really close female friendship that peyton has a crush on the other and is super flirty towards them but acts like she doesnt have feelings for them bc fear of rejection and like acts she’s joking (but maybe it’s one sided/unrequited or maybe it’s mutual???)

clients: people she’s planned events or is going to plan events for

escorting client: some rich ass secretive people

ride or die: the person that peyton is closest too and has seen her soft side. she is a super bitch so this is a rly big deal. they are an unbreakable bond.

a rival cousin: someone who is in constant competition with peyton because they’re related. they have made beef & are rivals. but at the same time they would kill each other & kill for each other.

friends turn enemies: were friends up until a certain point, but either realized they never really liked each other or one just dropped the other or maybe something happed idk lets plot

friends w. benefits: peyton be a sexual ass hoe so bring her ur guy, gals, and non binary pals

LITERALLY ANYTHING LET’S PLOT

[babbushka]

I don't know if you're still taking requests but if you would like to, Y: “You’re drunk.”“Oh yeah? Well, you’re beautiful!” w/ Flip Zimmerman would be appreciated. Again, no pressure if you're busy or don't feel like it :)

Anonymous said: Y prompt featuring Flip please?

I hope the both of you don’t mind that I only wrote one fic for this prompt! I hope you enjoy! 

(Set in my Just A Job universe, and inspired by some shenanigans I was talking about with my dear friend @adamsnackdriver ) 

Word Count: 1500 

Warnings: None :)

“You good to go in by yourself?” Ron asked as he drove Flip right up tohis driveway.

“Yeah, (Y/N)’s awake.” He said, pointing to the light that was turned onin the bedroom window. “Thanks for the lift, and for this.” He held up thebrown paper wrapped parcel and unbuckled his seatbelt.

It had been a long fucking night, Flip thought. Even with the alcohol inhis system he was annoyed, but most of all tired. There had been another rendezvouswith the enemy, for lack of better term, that had lasted much longer than Flipor Ron was expecting. After hours of pretending to be chummy with the klan, hehad done the irresponsible thing and drove to the station. Ron was nice enoughto drop him off home so he wouldn’t endanger himself or anyone else for thatmatter.  

“Anytime partner, anytime.” Ron said with a tired smile of his own, nodoubt wanting to pass out as badly as Flip did.

Ron waited until Flip got the door unlocked and turned around to givehis friend a wave, letting him know he could take off. Ron waved back, and tookoff down the road on his way home.

Flip sighed deeply, feeling the weight of the evening on his shoulders.He felt disgusted with himself, the alcohol churning his stomach. Every time hecame home from the bar that you had been so carefully warned to never step footinto, he worried that you would be angry with him, that you would leave him,for the vile hate he spewed.

It had never happened – you had only gotten angry with him one time fornot telling you the truth of the case. Every time he stepped through that dooryou only welcomed him with a loving embrace, but still the fear was there.

Touching the half-hidden mezuzah out of habit, Flip stepped into thefoyer. He tried to close the door quietly, in case you had accidentally fallenasleep, but at the sound of the lock clicking into place he could hear yourfootsteps coming down the stairs.

“Honey, is that you?” You asked. Flip hated the edge to your voice.

Ever since Felix had paid a surprise visit, you had been more nervous ofother klansmen coming to the door. You were careful not to use his real name atfirst, in case it was someone unwelcome.

“I’m sorry I’m so late.” Flip said. You descended the rest of the stairs,happy to see your husband. He pulled you into a big hug, squeezing you tight.

“I was worried, you said you’d be back by one.” You said, visibly more relaxedto have your man back home with you, where he belonged.

“I know. Things got carried away, they wouldn’t take my excuses toleave.” Flip said, scrubbing a hand over his face. His vision was cloudy andthe room was spinning just a little, but you looked radiant as ever, even withthe dark circles under your eyes.

“Were you out with them again? At their bar?” You asked softly, takingstock of him.

“Yeah.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked, prying his hand away from hisface, and lacing the fingers with your own instead.

“Not right now.” Flip admitted, sounding defeated. He would have to givea full recount of the events tomorrow over the phone, you would listen in then.He didn’t want to repeat himself and the things he said, any more than healready had to.

“Okay.” You nodded, understanding. God how he loved that you were sounderstanding, Flip thought. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You tugged gently onhis hand, and Flip had taken a step or two forward to follow you before hebacktracked.

“Wait a minute.” He said, remembering the flat parcel he left by thedoor. He reached over and scooped it up, offering it to you. “Here, this is foryou.”

You frowned, knowing that shape had to be a record of some kind. Youcarefully undid the wrapping, and lo and behold there was the familiar cardboardsleeve. Except, it wasn’t any record – it was the self-titled album by the CorneliusBrothers & Sister Rose, autographedright on the cover.

“Where did you get this?” You gasped, knowing it couldn’t have beengiven to him from one of the klansmen.

“Patrice got it. She wanted you to have it, so she gave it to Ron whogave it to me.” Flip tried to recall the order in which the record came to hispossession.

“I love that woman, I’ll call her up tomorrow and give her my thanks.” Yougrinned, gently running a finger over the signature. It was real, not printedas part of the cover art. You and Patrice often talked on the phone for hoursduring the day when you weren’t hanging out in person, but how she had knownyou wanted to get your hands on this album was beyond you.

“You should play it.” Flip said, suddenly.

“It’s three in the morning honey.” You chuckled, but he shook his head,insistent.

“I know ketsl, but you’re sobeautiful when you dance.” He said, nearly begging.

“You’re drunk.” You smiled, blushing at his compliment.

“Oh yeah? Well, you’re beautiful!” Flip said, capturing your face in hisbig hands and kissing you. “And you’ll be beautiful when I’m hungover, andbeautiful when I’m asleep, and beautiful when I’m awake.” He said, punctuatingeach bit with another kiss until you had dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“Alright, but only one song.” Yourelented, leading Flip into the living room. “And you have to dance with me.”

Flip was always wary aboutjoining you, Patrice, and Ron at the disco. He needed a few drinks in him tobuild up the courage to get on the dance floor, too afraid of messing up thesteps or being off rhythm. The three of you always encouraged him – usually youteased that if he didn’t dance with you, someone else would, and that wasenough to spark the little bit of jealousy in him that got him moving andgrooving with you.

But when it was just the two ofyou, in the living room with no one else around, Flip didn’t mind as much. You hadalready married him, he could make a fool out of himself in front of you andnot worry too much.

You turned on the record playerand ever so carefully took the vinyl out of the plastic sleeve. Your favoritesong of the moment happened to be track number one, and the two of you beganmoving and strutting to the beat.

Flip knew how to dance, you never understood why he was so shy about it.The thing about disco line dancing, is that it worked with pretty much any song.You grinned as he rolled his hips and kicked his feet, snapping along to thebeat as you danced and sang along to the words.

“I can’t sleep, sleep at night...” You sang as he watched you with love in his eyes. 

Flip felt like he was in a dream,the light sheen of sweat on your skin caught by the glow of the candles, theway you smiled at him felt like a punch to the chest, but somehow in a goodway. He danced his stress away, all his worries and fears that he would have toaddress the next day were quieted as he focused only on you and your bodyagainst his.

Eventually, the three minutes ofthe song passed, and true to your word, you switched off the record player.

As drunk as he was, he did windup stumbling a little bit, and the both of you laughed yourselves silly when heaccidentally tripped over the lip of the rug in the living room, sending himcrashing down and bringing you down with him.

“Flip!” You laughed, “Are youalright?” You reached for his face to make sure he didn’t hit his head on theway down.

“Never better ketsl.” He laughedback.

“You big lumberjack come on, wereally gotta get you into bed.” You tried shoving him off of you to no avail.

“You’re so beautiful.” Flip justsaid again, tenderly brushing a lock of hair out of your mouth where it hadgotten caught in your giggles.

“Good thing you only have tophone in tomorrow, you’re going to be sohungover.” You sighed fondly, managing to get him off of you and standing.

“Hmm maybe, but then you’ll takecare of me.” Flip said, kissing your cheek for a long time. His facial hairtickled your skin, and he kept kissing you even after you tried squirming away,giggling. “My gorgeous nurse.”

“I’ll always take care of you.” Youbeamed.

You braved the stairs, one stepat a time, his arm around your waist for stability. All the spinning anddancing had probably been a bad idea for his balance, but you made it just thesame. You would always make it, as long as he kept coming home to you.  

Tagging some pals! :) As always, if you’d like to be added or taken off the list please just shoot me a message! @fullofbees @spinebarrel @oh-adam @dreamboatdriver @bad–bad–man @thecurlycaptain @bourbonboredom@driverficarchive@aweirdlookingtree@rosalynbair@redhairedfeistynerd@adamsnackdriver @glitzescape@arwarz @adamsnacc-kler 

[aguestinourhome]

Then the next step is to send a warranty claim and they warn in big bold letters: If you send two claims, we will deny your warranty request!!

I almost feel like i'm causing them a serious inconvenience with my warranty claim. mastitis, engorgement, baby feeding, not having a pump for two weeks are all problems that they seem very unconcerned about.

Buy this pump. Seriously, stop looking, buy it. This review is long but will hopefully answer any questions you have. Or post one and I'll try to answer it.

Earlier this year I had twins born at 34 weeks. They were doing well, but did spend some time in the NICU. When babies are in the NICU, you become super obsessed with how much milk they are getting. They can't go home until they take their "minimums" and gain weight. As a result, I've pretty much been exclusively pumping since they were born. My girl would latch, but I couldn't tell how much she was getting and she would get tired after a few minutes and wouldn't take the rest of her bottle. My boy had breathing problems at first and was being fed with a tube for the first 10 days. After that he had to learn how to eat and would get tired, so I didn't try to nurse him. Since I had to feed two and wanted to share my supply, pumping was the way to go.

Since I had preemies, my insurance paid for me to use a Medela Lactina pump. This is the big blue thing that is "hospital grade" and retails for a boatload ($1500 for the love!). I used the Lactina for the first two months but wanted something more portable (I bought a car adapter so I could plug it in and pump in the car on long days out). And, the Lactina is loud as all get out, which was annoying and I actually covered it with a blanket to muffle the sound so I could pump in the same room my husband and 3 year old daughter were watching TV in so I could be part of the family. I contemplated getting a Medela Freestyle, but read mixed reviews about being able to maintain supply. Having twins I did not want to risk my supply going down.

I took a leap of faith and bought this pump using gift cards for about half the cost. I figured if it didn't work at least I wasn't out all the money. Best. Decision. Ever.

Awesomeness: -It is SUPER quiet compared to the Lactina. I have no idea how it compares to other pumps, but it is going to be nice to have at work and be able to answer the phone while pumping. -It is pretty portable. I wanted something I could clip to my belt and walk around the house, but that is the Freestyle and I couldn't risk it. This is pretty lightweight, and I'm actually contemplating putting a ribbon through the handle and putting it over my neck. It never fails that when I'm pumping my husband is out of the house and my older daughter needs something. At the very least, I've put it on with my hands-free pumping bra (Simple Wishes brand- buy that too) and been able to put it on the kitchen counter to make bottles or lunch or whatever. Haven't tried cooking dinner yet, but that may happen. -Nightlight is pretty neat, and has two levels. -Timer is a cool feature. Most folks don't need to pump for more than 15-20 minutes, but most folks don't have twins. The timer shuts the pump off after 30 minutes which is how long I pump for. I used to set a timer on my phone, but don't need to do that so much anymore. -Massage feature is pretty nifty. This pump almost pulses when creating suction. It was kind of weird at first since the other pump didn't do it, but it actually makes pumping pretty comfortable. The "massage" feature speeds up the pump and is designed to stimulate letdown. Once you have letdown, you are supposed to turn off the massage feature. (I don't, I like the fastest speed for my pumping. But again, twins.) -Memory feature- the pump remembers what your last "normal" and "massage" settings were and goes back to them. -Vacuum control- I use the pump on either level 2 or 3. It has 12 levels. Wow. As a nurse I'm really wondering who would need level 12. Maybe for someone with inverted nipples. Maybe if the battery ever gets weak I'll need to go up.

Quirks: -It took a LONG time (probably 12 hours) to fully charge the battery when I first got the pump. It also says it can run plugged in, which is true, but so far as I can tell actually uses the battery regardless of whether or not it is plugged in. I could be wrong. -If you use the nightlight feature while pumping it will drain your battery faster, and you will likely not get a full three hours of pump time. Probably not a problem for most people but worth noting. -The bottles and pump kit are pretty cheap. That would probably be my biggest gripe about the whole thing. If we are spending this much money on a pump, the kit should be stellar. (Most pump kits are pretty terrible, so this is about par for the course.) But all is not lost. The ends of the tubing actually fit into my kit I had been using with my Medela. Also, and this is a problem with most pump kits, most women would need to lean forward to get the milk to drop down when sitting upright. So, my Lactina kit had removable flanges which I promptly tossed and used the angled ones from Pumpin' Pal. (Buy those too.) Also, I bought a pump adapter kit that worked with the Playtex bottles I was using so I could pump directly into the drop-in liners. (Cleaner that way, eventually the bottles will get gross no matter what you do.) -If you are not using their backflow valves, you need to pay attention to your tubing. I am not, and have gotten some moisture into one of the tubes on the end. I just blow it out with a hair dryer in a couple of seconds. The tubing is nothing special and you could easily replace it with something from the hardware store if you needed to. It would also be pretty easy to jerryrig the tubing from another pump kit, which I may do so I can attach the backflow valves.

The "cons" I listed here may seem like a lot, but to me it wasn't enough that I would take away a star. I've had it for two weeks and I love it, and haven't noticed a drop in supply. I'll update this review if anything changes, but I don't see that happening.

So go buy this pump. Or put it on your registry or wishlist. You won't be sorry.

Links for the products I mentioned: Pumpin' Pal Super Shields, Angled Pumping Flanges, the Best Flanges By Far in a Complete Set of All Sizes Mom Will Need Simple Wishes Hands-Free Breastpump Bra, Pink, XS-L Playtex Drop-Ins System Breast Milk Storage Kit

Updated 10/16/13 -A couple more product links for all the parts I'm using with my cobbled-together homemade kit. You really don't NEED anything but the angled flanges and hands-free pumping bra, but if you wanted to piece something together that's a bit more user-friendly, here are the links: Medela Personal Fit Breastsheild Connectors - Medela 87071 Medela Valves & Membranes (Set of 1)

UPDATE 10/28/13- I've gone back to work and am taking this pump back and forth. I just put it in a small tote bag I had at home. I made two pump kits so I can leave one at home and one in my office at work and all I take back and forth is the pump. That probably wasn't necessary, but I probably would have ended up forgetting something one day so this was my way to make sure that didn't happen. Pump is awesome, and nobody can hear it when I answer the phone. The doctor in the office next to me is pumping as well, and you can hear her pump down the hall... -Also, I finally attached the backflow valves. I basically just cut the tubing and attached one piece to either side of the valve. It's a small challenge to get the tubing on the large side, but it does fit. Now I can still stick the end of the tubing into my homemade Medela kit and it works great and I don't need to worry about moisture getting into my pump.

If you've got questions, post 'em and I'll do my best to answer! (I should probably just make a video...)

Best pump ever (only pump I've used but only one I will ever need!) I am a full time working mom. I was lucky to get 13 weeks of maternity leave. I was concerned when I had my baby because I have breast implants (below muscle). But after birth (via csection), my baby latched and we were in business.

I breastfed only for first 3 weeks. Then I introduced 1-2 pumps a day. I didn't get much-but that was expected. Around the 5-6week mark I began pumping and stashing more frequently. By the time I went back to work at 13 weeks pp I had 800oz in my deep freezer.

My baby is now 23 weeks old and I have 1750oz in my deep freezer and she still nurses. This pump is AMAZING! It's nice to have the mobility of a rechargeable battery Bc I can pump and do chores and even pump in the backseat of a car while someone else is driving.

I have been separated from my baby for up to 20 hours and this pump is amazing! I would highly recommend to anyone over any of the other brands. I have even convinced some of my second time moms to switch to this pump (since it is free w insurance) and they have loved it and thanked me a 100times over.

The attached pictures are of my frozen milk stash and the other is a picture of my morning pump (after breastfeeding my baby girl).

Cheers and happy baby feeding!

I purchased this pump out of pocket and then mailed receipt and reimbursement application to tricare and they returned my money 100%. So worth it because if you go through a retailer they will only give you the S2 (which is not rechargeable).

Wow. Just wow. Why did I not hear of this pump sooner? Comfortable, portable, lightweight, oh- and more than double the milk!! Seriously, it is almost a crime that the insurance companies just give out inferior pumps when this is available. I was concerned when returning to work with my second baby that I would not be able to produce enough milk. With my first, I pumped like 6 times a day at work to make enough with my Medela PISA. Now, those worries are gone. Totally gone! The proof is in the pictures. 10 mins of total comfort and quiet on the Spectra vs 20 mins of loud wrenching and pulling on the PISA.

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[klimtandbencbatch]

For an IronStrange prompt: Steve is making Tony feel like crap(cause mcu Steve dosent care about feelings) and Tony' s day is just getting worse and worse until strange makes him feel better. [Insert lenny face]

this is gonna be a two-parter!!! also I took some liberties w/ the prompt, I hope you don’t mind!!! next part is the fuckin’ and a wrap up of the divorce lmao

Other Words For “Splitting Up” Part 1

Tony Stark was hard at work in his lab, bobbing his head to Def Leppard as he worked on his suit’s thrusters, tweaking a few things here and there. It was a typical day for him, so far - wake up, have breakfast (coffee), read the paper, check stocks, head downstairs and get to work for God knew how many hours. He was just getting ready for the next step, lunch (coffee) when his music suddenly went quiet, and the doors slid open.

“Hey, what did I say about - “

He fell silent as a stack of papers fell to the nearby work table with a heavy, thick thud. A thud of finality, Tony reflected, as he looked up at none other than Steve Rogers standing before him, hands on his muscle-y, muscle-y hips.

“Uh, hey, Steve. Did you - ?”

“Just read the papers, Tony.”

Tony paused, blinking rapidly for a moment before nodding. “Uh, yeah. Okay.” He set his wrench aside, wiping his hands clean of grease before picking up the top paper off the stack. His eyes immediately snapped back to Steve, his jaw dropping.

“You’re - serving me?”

“Let’s just face facts, Tony. We haven’t been together in a long time. Hell, we haven’t slept in the same bed in years.”

“Uh, yeah, and whose fault is - “

“Stop,” Steve said at once, raising a hand. “This is why I - brought a lawyer into it.  Because I’m sick of having these arguments with you.”

Tony scoffed, standing, fuming slightly as he still had to look up at Steve. “Yknow, you wanted to get married in the first place.”

“And now I wanna get divorced,” Steve answered tiredly. “Alright? Just - read the papers, Tony. Please.”

Tony deflated slightly, looking over at the stack on his desk. “I… um. Yeah. I will. Just - leave. Okay? Just get out.”

Steve hesitated for just a moment, looking as if he wanted to say something else. With those damn - puppy dog eyes of his. Tony shook his head firmly, turning away.

“I’m serious, Rogers. Bye.”

He closed his eyes as he heard the doors slide shut, pressing his fists firmly against his forehead. He aimed a kick at his tool box, sending wrenches and screwdrivers flying every which way all over his workshop.

“Fuck!”

He’d known he and Steve were over. He’d known it for a long time. But lawyers meant meetings, and meetings meant going places together, and doing that when they hadn’t been seen publicly together in so long meant press. Press meant stories, stories meant attention, and attention meant Tony being the villain. He could see the headlines already.

Stark Tosses Out All-American Hero!

Marriage Bed Gone Icier than Cap?

Star-Spangled Couple Calls it Quits! Stark’s Riches to Blame?

“Fuck,” he muttered again, folding his arms over his chest with a long sigh. He saw Dum-E and U starting to move towards the tools, and he snapped his fingers to get their attention.

“No, no. Stop. I’ll clean it up, you two - you two take a break. Okay? We’ve all earned a break.”

He bit his lip as he turned back to the papers. “Time for some light reading,“ he mumbled, hefting the stack and heading upstairs, leaving his workshop a dismantled mess.

They’d tried to be discreet.

With the whole - Infinity War thing getting in the way, they’d had to postpone their divorce proceedings for a bit. Tony saved the world - maybe the headlines wouldn’t be so harsh - and Steve helped, providing ground support and a somewhat-trusted ally and go-between for the Wakandans.

They’d tried to be discreet.

Everyone picked up on it. Bruce and Thor, freshly returned, immediately noticed Tony’s wedding band missing, once they’d all joined back together after the mess on Titan. Peter had it figured out minute one, smart kid. Tony wasn’t sure he’d be able to forget the looks of pity on everyone’s faces.

And all of that Thanos shit, on top of getting divorced?

When Happy pulled up to their “secret meeting place” and Tony could already see cameras flashing, he nearly punched his window out. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he muttered, peering out to try to see who was there.

“Captain Rogers must be here already,” Happy groused, equally as displeased.

“Fuck this,” Tony sighed, shoving himself out of the car. He ignored the questions hurled at him by the press, heading inside and meeting up with his lawyer in the lobby of the building.

“I was told there wouldn’t be press coverage? That this was just a - strategy meeting?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, it would appear - “

“Forget it,” Tony said, waving his hand. “Just - show me where the big guy is.”

————————————

“…and he’s suing me for alimony. Steve fuckin’ Rogers wants my money. What lifestyle did I get him used to? 2018 instead of 1942?”

Bruce offered a tight smile, not sure what to say. “I - dunno, Tones,” he tried, ducking behind the screen he was currently engrossed with. “Maybe he’s just - trying to rile you up.”

“He wants money for his fuckin’ Soviet boy toy is what it is,” Tony growled, swearing as he accidentally caught his finger in a tiny piece of machinery. “No, yknow what? Fuck these blasters. They’re fine the way they are. Fuck me, Brucey, I… What am I gonna do?“

Bruce poked his head back up, shrugging. “I… You’re gonna get through it, Tony. You’re - Tony Stark. You’ve been through worse than a divorce.”

Tony smiled a bit, getting up to stretch. “I’m gonna make a smoothie, and you just earned yourself one. Want one?”

“Sure. The - strawberry one you do. S’really good.”

Tony let his smile grow a bit more, heading over to the little bullet blender he kept in the workshop now.

“So,” Bruce started once the noise had died down and the requisite smoothies had been distributed, “what about that doctor?”

“Hm?”

“Strange. Stephen.”

“Oh. Oh, him,” Tony said, setting his cup aside. “I mean, well, yknow. We - hooked up. Once or twice.”

“Yeah?”

Tony nodded. “Uh huh.”

“And what’s he like, then?” Bruce asked.

“Are you a middle school girl?”

Bruce shrugged. “It’s taking your mind off of Divorcee in Chief.”

Tony sighed, fiddling with his smoothie straw. “He’s… really smart. Like, wickedly smart. And he’s funny! He makes me laugh every time I’m with him, like when we get coffee or whatever. And he’s a monster in bed. Present company excluded.”

“Har, har.”

“I dunno if this is TMI, but - Bruce, I nearly wept. That is how insanely good the sex was. It’s like he was in my head, but I wasn’t - afraid, yknow? He just paid attention to everything I wanted.”

“It’s a little TMI.”

Tony snorted, giving Bruce a look. “I had to hear about it from Thor the first time you guys slept together. I’ve earned this.”

Bruce flushed. “Sorry about that. Again.”

“Hey, yknow what? It’s all good. We’re just a couple of friends, shootin’ the shit.” He turned back to his blasters, poking at the metal a bit before sighing. “I just… I’m trying not to get too involved in anything, yknow? Until me and Steve are done, and - for a while after that. So I don’t fuck anything up.”

“Hey,” Bruce said, reaching out to pat Tony’s arm. “I get it. And I’m here. For - when you need to talk. Unless it’s about wizard sex, then I’ll have to pass…”

“Alright, Banner. I get it,” Tony laughed, getting back to work. “Thanks, pal.”

“Always, Tones.”

————————————

It all went downhill from there.

Meeting after meeting after meeting. And every time, Tony seemed to get there last, and the press was waiting to pounce. He refused to give Steve any kind of money - after the little stunt in Siberia? He was lucky that Tony hadn’t filed, that Tony had wanted to avoid publicity. And to what end did he owe Steve money? Sure, he’d had Stark Tower back then, sure, but he hadn’t spoiled Steve. By any stretch of the imagination.

And that’s why Steve was dragging this out. Tony just knew that it had to be the reason.

And it was starting to work. Tony was getting tired of fighting, and tired of being hounded by paparazzi and cameras everywhere he went.

He was having trouble sleeping, and he kept reading over the documents again and again, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do. He was currently locked up in his workshop again, bent over his workbench with his fingers tangled tightly in his hair, his eyes scanning over sentences he’d read a thousand times already. How much longer could this go on for?

“Tony?”

He jumped up, scattering the papers over the floor. He turned quickly, sagging with relief when he saw who it was.

“Stephen. Thank God for you.”

He marched over to the sorcerer, planting his face in the middle of the other man’s chest. Stephen’s warm hands came to rest gently on the back of Tony’s neck, kneading at the muscles there.

“You’re so tense,” Stephen murmured.

“It’s my soon-to-be-ex husband,” Tony explained, nuzzling against Stephen’s robes. “Mm, you smell so good… Like a spice market…"

“Was in Nepal this morning,” Stephen said, smiling a bit. “Everything okay?”

“No,” Tony answered bluntly. “I get voicemails from Steve every twenty fucking seconds asking if I confirmed for the next meeting or not. He’s got this huge sum of money he wants hanging over my head, and - on top of all of that - he’s out parading around with that - monster, and no one seems to be risking their journalistic integrity to print the truth! At least I’m keeping us somewhat quiet.”

Stephen let Tony vent, settling down on a nearby work stool. He nodded as he listened, watching Tony pace back and forth, pushing down thoughts of how cute he was. So little.

“Sorry,” Tony sighed, noticing Stephen listening. “I just… I’m really strung out over this. Yknow?”

“Need a bit of… Stress relief?”

Tony stopped talking mid-sentence, turning to face Stephen. His pupils dilated almost instantly, and he was on the sorcerer in a second. “Please. God, please.”

“My place,” Stephen urged. “Quieter. Further away from the cameras.”

“Take me away, magic man.”

Stephen smiled, opening a portal and pushing Tony through, immediately pinning him to his bed.

“Oh, I intend to, Mr. Stark.”

[contact--light]

a promptis fic catalogue post

note: I made this as like my own personal directory type thing when if I suddenly have the urge to reread a particular fic I already read, I would look at this and be like oh yeah that’s the bitch

all these fics are completed and are as promptis-centric as possible, so I put down other pairs that also feature in the stories (sadly, I don’t do ot3/ot4). please note I still have a ton of other promptis to read too so if u don’t see a fic that’s like THE ONE ppl have read, that’s bcos I’m still finding the time to read it in one go (can’t read fics on and off or else I’ll get side-tracked and forget the plot completely)

ALSO each and every story absolutely bangs so I put a little comment about them so if the authors ever see this, know I am incredibly sorry if I have offended you with how I worded my praises, but know that they are praises of the highest calibre that I can write this is why I’m not a writer lmao

ALSO possible spoiler alert for the main game and the fics I rec. it’s a ‘fic directory’, not a well written one but it’s good enough for me and if other people enjoy it, very cool, I like u, let’s be pals

Links to the story and links to the author’s other promptis works are provided (if available)

ANYWAY, on to the nitty gritty! There is no god in the order I rec these fics, absolutely no order, except the end of the list are the mega angsty fics but aside from that, again, there is no god in this list.

lucidus by scylaire

12,270 words | Rated T

this au is so feel good like minimal angst (but bcos resident emo prince just can’t be himself w/out some angst), mad fluff bcos of cuddle buddy prompto, and they in college. all in all, a very nice fic

runaway by tenzoh

70,828 words | Rated M

other pairs: minor lunyx

I can’t believe this fic broke into my house and straight up murdered me. I love this one and will reread this again when the other fics aren’t trying to barge through my door like I’m dodging tax. this canon divergence goodness is based on if no one fucking died, which is a godsend of a fic already, and oho u might think ‘oh that’s good!’ that no one dies, well tru but the dRAMA and the SCANDAL and noct’s priorities man oh man

the loveless prince by niuniu

196,869 words | Rated T

this absolute unit took me 4 days to read despite having work and uni bcos it had one of my fave tropes: soulmate au, so I was instantly hooked, it’s also somewhat canon divergence bcos noct is still a prince and the astrals are around but bruv, every chapter I finish got me thinkin like “what happens next will shock u”; absolutely gripping stuff ‘eva is a story that repeats’

cactus in the valley by liziscribbles

112,330 words Rated M

other pairs: gladnis, iris/aranea

another absolute unit of an college au that has all the ingredients of a wonderful soap opera (as is promised on the fic’s tags): DRAMA ✅ DISASTER ✅ LOVE ✅ RESOLUTION ✅ ARDYN ✅ liziscribbles writes a TON of promptis, I swear I’ve read most of them and I rate them so check their other stuff out too

in another time by dragongem777 & kiacoral

85,687 words | Rated ehh I’ll guess about M

other pairs: mad gladnis happenin outchea

I’m hesitant to call this a canon divergence bcos it’s based on the main storyline but it’s essentially a reincarnation au and BOY DOES IT DELIVER. the lads one by one recall their past lives and we follow their journey on how they find each other and how prom and noct fall in love all over again #the gladnis is pretty heavy in this one

the royal wedding of noctis and prompto by latias_likes_pizza

6975 words | Rated G

other pairs: gladnis, lunyx and cindy/aranea

I read this when I feel down bcos it’s my pick-me-up fic, this is the promptis royal wedding ending we all deserve and more, you can really feel the love in this fic and I can’t emphasise enough how much I adore this work

emperor who? by andromedas_void

3,817 words | Rated G

I really rate this fic bcos I like emperor prompto aus and I really beg for more of this goodness, this has tons of potential but it’s terrific as a standalone piece

the last prince of tenebrae by oh my fae

21,694 words | Rated M

Oh my fae? More like Oh my DAY...S. I haven’t read this for the second time in ages but I remember feeling really good about reading this and I saved it on my phone’s bookmarks so that must deffo mean it bangs. this is another prince prompto au but if he was the 3rd nox fleuret sibling wHICH at the time I found this was (lady gaga) SPECTACULAR, NEVER THE SAME, TOTALLY UNIQUE, COMPLETELY NOT EVER BEEN DONE BEFORE

affogato by moonside

55,442 words | Rated E for hEhEhEhEhE noice

other pairs: bare gladnis

most works by moonside are actually so good so go check their whole ffxv works out too if u like this one. I’m gonna be completely honest, based on emotional memory, this fic made me feel good but the actual plot of this fic? A-FFO-GA-TO (get it? I forgot tho, whatevs man I think that’s funny) but from what I can probs remember is this is a coffee shop au with gladnis drama AND if u like gladnis there’s a second instalment that is gladnis drama heavy

to build a home by just_peachy

61,642 words | Rated M

other pairs: gladnis, lunyx, cindy/aranea

hello, this is another case of “I swear I read this bcos I have a good feeling about this fic but I can’t recall the plot to save my life but my heart says I likes the fic so I’m gonna go with that” plus its by just_peachy who has done TREMENDOUS amount of work and you can really see them progress in their skills as a writer, reading from their past to current stories so I always look forward to any future fics they complete bcos they deliver with quantity and increasing quality as well but I’m digressing, this one is a soulmate au which is an au I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO READ and  it’s a modern au (business instead of royalty) AND prom finally gets to be the photographer he’s always wanted to be

secrets by trirocksalt

4785 words Rated G for GOD THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE

while I was undergoing my second playthrough of ffxv, and (finally) went to altissia-- although it IS beautiful, I miss the chocobos and the fucking car and just not being able to be restrained to travel by city walls and social pressures by not sprinting in public and dON’T GET ME STARTED WITH THE GONDOLA SYSTEM— due to my frustrations, I remembered this feel good fic, where it’s like noctis is taking over as CEO for regis’ massive business and prompto as a gondolier, and it took me SO LONG to find this fic again, and being in altissia made my heart so heavy so this was the perfect fic to get me through the shitstorm that is chapter 9

croquis by peonysoda

43,113 word | Rated T

PEONYSODA TAKE MY HEART all their promptis stuff ARE ABSOLUTE GEMS! this is a college au where noct has to model for a figure drawing class aND CAN U GUESS WHO’S IN THAT CLASS?!??!

something just like this by yuneyn

42,712 words | Rated M for Mecessary smut

this fic is literally like as if it cleared the dark rainclouds from a bad storm and descended from the heavens with open arms, rays of light shining behind it, to offer you salvation; in other words, this fluff-a-mania of a fic is all feel good no bad shit happening here and it DELIVERS, bcos I’m so used to expecting bad stuff happening when the couple gets together very early, but this fic doesn’t do that, nah mate, but it does make dino look like the bad(abing badaboom) guy but eh, u get over it. this ‘stuck-in-the-airport’ au will have u grinning from ear to ear throughout the whole thing

to love by emziewrites

other pairs: lunyx, some cheeky gladnis

37,020 words Rated E for EYYYYYYYY

this one’s an age difference royalty au, where king noct finds the one thing he’s missing and prompto is much more than just the hoe he thinks he’s hired as. literally DIS FIC IS 2 HOT 4 U and most of their promptis fics are top quality too check their works out too

like & subscribe by just_peachy

36,590 words | Rated M for MIGOS

I read this one quite recently and I very much enjoyed this youtuber au but with a twist bcos prom became a youtuber thanks to his princely pal, who has been giving him lovey dovey eyes in each upload that sunshine boy is completely oblivious to it, but viewers needn’t not be eagle eyed to see noct’s infatuation

marry your best friend, but like literally by brosura

8,300 words | Rated T for TERRIFIC

other pairs: cheeky gladnis

exactly what it says on the fucking tin and it DELIVERS (I need a new phrase). all feel good times about MARRIED BOYS AND HOW THEIR LIVES ARE BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER. this GOOD TIME OF AN AU is one of some that brosura wrote, but all in all, the mother of feel good fics and I'm gonna rec another, just watch me

‘the Good Time Train™’ series by brosura

25,090 words | Rated T for y’all TOTALLY saw me rec another brosura work

other pairs: hints of lunoct

features stories such as: ‘friends with benefits’ au and an extra piece. Now, friends with benefits IS another good time train bUT IT’S DIFFERENT THIS TIME: the 4th chapter, after being so used to the journey of the good time train, feels like that part when the train splits to two and you’re on the wrong compartment, and the destination really isn’t going where u think it’s going bcos this end of the train takes a different detour and destination and u see this as the fic starts getting deep and u should have really paid more attention to the train conductor’s announcements so it’s completely ur fault that u didn’t BUT there IS a complimentary fic about blanket forts if that’s any consolation AND this is a good read

king of catfishing by trashmccree

10,567 words | Rated I’ll guess about a T

Other pairs: minor cindy/aranea

this tinder/catfish AU got all up on my FEELS and the fishing puns! I love a good pun, especially if it hurts other people.

golden catfish, king catfish by unsungillumination

9541 words | Rated T

hOLY SHIT ANOTHER CATFISH AU! BLESSED BE THE STARS FOR THIS BOUNTIFUL HARVEST. I can never have enough of aus. so the boys find each other via online gaming and silly prompto put himself as a girl on his online profile! and noctis is asking to meet with him?! What will prompto do??? No I’m serious, what did he do, I forgot, so NOW I have to reread this

FFXV Promptis SFW Week by treya_barton

23,871 words | Rated if I recall correctly there may have been some implied stuff so I’ll put M to be safe

This smorgasbord has 8 chapters, approaching each prompt given from, you guessed it, Promptis Fanweek 2k18; each story I believe (IIRC AGAIN) are standalones, but all in all a very good read, I truly enjoy reading treya_barton’s works

A Thing with Feathers by farseersfool

22,713 words | Rated T

I. LOVE. THIS. FUCKING. FIC. it’s a domestic AU where prompto and noct live together, and they’re adults, like obvs there’s still a bit of drama here but not as overly dramatic as it would be if they were younger, ANYWAY prompto adopts a cockatoo called HER RADIANCE QUEEN SQUISHUMS, THE FIRST OF HER NAME and I LOVE HER. There’s also a lot of emotional constipation from both sides but with a large, very clever bird involved and eavesdropping—and oh, have I mentioned that I love Her Radiance?

Guide to Fake Dating: Best Friend Edition by cup_of_comfort

22,607 words | Rated T

WHO LOVES FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP AU? /I/ FUCKING LOVE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP AU. This fic is literally, prom and noct being part of the cosmic joke and not getting the punchline.

Ghost of the Sun by Phosphorite

22,371 words | Rated M

INSOMNIA BOYS ON TOUR M.E. 7XX doesn’t go as well as they hoped as noct slowly realises that his migraines are trying to tell him something. in this canon divergent like au, noct and everyone he loves finally gets the happiness they deserve.......kinda. this fic was an absolute trip, I mean I didn’t think it would take me where I thought it would, but where I ended up was still plenty good, despite the destination being flooded. by my own tears.

Prince Noctis' Hot New Date? Read More on Page 7! by SharkbaitSekki

3719 words | Rated T to be safe

Prom ends up in the hospital and ignis is ‘mom’ on his phone au. I live for fics where ignis is ‘mom’ on the chocobro’s phones.

sunshine blues by dirtmemer

9124 words | Rated G for GOD IGNIS LET THE BOYS BE HAPPY

In a surprising twist of canon, ignis, for once, makes a super horrible, very bad decision and is not the voice of reason in this story. What happened here DID shock me, this is borderline whump so fair warning to those with prompto biases

perhaps you noticed something strange yesterday by ObscureReference

1681 words | Rated T

This isn’t really like bait promptis but it’s a good fic that makes me think a bit. Those kinds that leaves u going like ‘huh’ and u have to take a pause before you continue on with your day

birth of a wish by whimsofffate

15,729 words | Rated T

A groundhog day AU that will make you want to scream at the skies warning the astrals to catch your hands bcos ur gonna fight them, kick them, you’ll punch a cloud u don’t give a fuck! So they reluctantly listened and gave u that happy ending…. for now

feathers and fleece by ienablu

12,774 words | Rated T for Texting

King Regis starts texting Prompto bcos Noct doesn’t. The man is just concerned for his only son, pls noct ur angsty teenager phase is showing. you also slowly find out that King Regis is like any other dad…  meaning he is a massive troll.

Sunflowers by moonside

18,955 words | Rated E

PROFESSOR/STUDENT AU IS A FUCKING JAAAAAAAAM. In here, we have sexy economics professor Noctis, and uni student prompto who have mutual hots for each other but it’s not all sexy fun times ladies and gentlepeople, for I bear warnings of a tragedy occurring in this fic, but aside from that, it’s a very good read, great plot and again, DIS FIC IS 2 HOT 4 U.

Life Imitates by Riona

3293 words | Rated T for TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR, GLADIO! but u gotta admit, it’s effective

Everyone gives Noctis and Prompto the shovel talk, which would have been very useful if they were actually together. This fic is an absolute classic.

convince lucis that you're dating (and get an existential crisis while you're at it), a guide by prompto by crosspolination

13,841 words | Rated G

THE RUMOUR COME OUT: does noctis lucis caelum is gay? This great fake/pretend relationship au (with proms family consisting of dad cor and big sis aranea) this fic will have you wanting to join in on teasing prom about the situation he’s in, thanks to a prince who has yet to learn how to think before he speaks

The Pursuit of Happiness by mahbecks

15,568 words | Rated E for ahh… it’s Explicit

I forgot this fic was explicit lmao but there’s a quote at the end of chapter two that absolutely grips me by the heart, it’s those kinds of quotes that got u thinking that it could be written in like a profound book or said in a deep film but no, surprise bitch it’s in this incredible soulmate au fic.

Horizon Linked by cup_of_comfort

18,470 words | Rated E for EVERY CHAPTER (ish) IS LOTS OF SMUT MY GOD

a/b/o fics may not be for everyone, but I liked this, it’s also angsty but what’s different about this is that it definitely has a happy ending and a great resolution, so the angst train is present but the happy ending J U S T about outweighs it. It still has tons of heavy, and dark themes so read with caution if ur not into that, but I liked the fuck out of this

Suggested Forms of Intimacy by Akumeoi

21,091 words | Rated T

A fake/pretend relationship, university au all in the name of science?! Well, more like, u get to live in a flat during the research and who would say no to that, I’d do it too mate. SO prom and noct sign up for a study that’s for like close relationships and they see how they fair in a shared flat. Mad fluff happens

In Defence of by eblisbaculum

1700-ish words | Rated I’d say about a T for the swearing

This fic isn’t on AO3 but it deserves a shoutout bcos of BAMF Prompto defending his best friend, and there really isn’t any glaringly obvious promptis in here but the end implies something but hoo boy this fic is a trip

‘Fucking Finally’ and it’s sequel ‘Word Theory’ by repmet

around 2000 words altogether | Rated T for the word ‘fuck’

Again, I found these on tumblr but it’s a short and sweet soulmate au, so this one is a massive shout if u want a quick read

Waking the Gods by Asidian

778 words | Rated G

This isn’t really promptis but I LOVE ORACLE PROM AUS AND I WISH THERE WAS MORE OF THIS AU but in this one it’s like canon divergence and prom is the oracle instead. Spectacular read (AND HAS ACCOMPANYING ART BY KACI!) THANK YOU FOR THIS BOUNTY

Black is the Colour by withoutdrawbacks

1371 words | Rated T

Noct lends prom his clothes and he totally isn’t staring too long. A lovely short and sweet fic about pining noct

somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond by bellpickle

10,188 words |Rated T

The canon did luna so fucking dirty, she didn’t deserve that fam, so here’s Luna writing letters, not only to Noctis, but to Prompto as well. Ever like the all-knowing big sister, she knows these boys ain’t slick

Tight fit by Dandy

26,982 words | Rated T

Prompto gets shoved in a locker by a bunch of jealous, little bitches and Noct wants blood when he finds out that Prom is ignoring him bcos he was in a locker for DAYS, fam that’s mad

Tolerable Toxicity Levels by saltslimes

3796 words | Rated T

Another glorious ‘Ignis is ‘mom’ on our phone’ au, where prompto is sick at work, noctis and his retinue arrive to the rescue and manager aranea hates prompto’s parents.

strange obsession (for my automatic weapon) by dustofwarfare

8530 words | Rated E

Who doesn’t like a bit of BAMF Prompto? Apparently, Noctis likes it… maybe TOO much, but that’s not a problem at all, it’s more like admitting it to Prompto that he likes that shit. This is some cute gunplay smut, no wounds or nothing like that at all, just the gun, and some sexy times bcos of it

Ten Years Is a Long Time by Tenzoh

9443 words | Rated T

other pairs: prompto/cindy

MY HEART HEAVES FOR THIS STORY. in this au borderline canon divergence fic is based on the 10-year time skip, world of ruin etc when noct returns and he confronts everything that has CHANGED. The happy twist is that noct doesn’t die, but the catch? Prom and cindy are together, and noct has to cope with his feels. The journey of reading this was close enough to make me cry; tenzoh, stay right where u are, I’m calling the police

raining knives, like, all the time by zinthos

13,132 words | Rated

other pairs: lunyx

this is literally the second fic I’ve rec’d featuring big birds with big names (FLAPPERDIGINOUS FLORATIO FONDA THE THIRD aka FLAPPY BIRD) hence why I named my chocobo in FFXV (the first playthrough) Flappy Bird as tribute to this amazing fic. But u have big sis luna in here and I love that so much, but u also have stupid af noct with an equally stupid af prompto so what’s not to love in this fic

Watching the Rain become the Sea by Ieroses

12,604 words | Rated T

The scenery in this au, my god, ieroses paints an absolute beautiful picture of this fic using words as her brush and canvas, like I remember reading this and I picture the scenes, and for some reason it reminds me of a CSI episode or smth like that, which makes sense bcos it’s like a crime au but the angst is evened out by a good ending

Epiphany by moonside

10,552 words | Rated E

Don’t 👏 stop 👏 me 👏 recommending 👏 moonside 👏 for 👏 smut 👏 bcos 👏 I 👏 won’t 👏 stop 👏 Another terrific age difference au and it DELIVERS. AGAIN. Moonside u done it again u crazy son of a gun. This one is literally pure smut, as it’s a one-night stand au with the promise of more in the end? Not like a sequel (I CAN DREAM THOUGH) but u can see inklings of noct liking prom more than just a one-time ting

To be Happy, To be Loved by thatoldeblackmagic

10,079 words | Rated T

Regis wearing the typical Jimmy Buffet ‘dad-on-holiday’ ensemble? outstanding. noctis being made fun of as a discount Sasuke Uchiha? ground-breaking. matchmaker regis? oh yeah, I’m game. also great shout out to that meme where cups were stacked on ppl who are asleep, I swear someone redrew that but with noct instead, pls @ me on that if it is out there

The Trouble with Rumours by candiedillusions

9630 words | Rated T

I JUST. CAN’T HOLD ALL THESE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP AUS. In this instalment, Prompto and Noctis become BFs instead of BFFs thanks to a typo on social media.

noctis gets a toy stuck up his ass and calls prompto for help by demnocts

1500-ish words I guess | Rated E

I couldn’t breathe typing up the ‘title’ of this piece bcos it’s literally, what it fucking says on the tin and I can’t stop crying. what else do u want me to say about this? It’s hot af, full stop. this smut is no plot set-up, all punchline, get-on-your-fucking-knees, proper full-on dirty

Where the Blue of the Sea Meets the Sky by canary

16,265 words | Rated M for MEAT BEATING

don’t let the smut fool u into thinkin this got a happy ending nah fam I got bittersweet at bEST (but that good smut is there, teetering between the M to E rating) this fic got all up on my feels in the last bit; that the friendly banter between prom and noct (top-notch characterisation), is all smoke and show behind the impending doom that is altissia. And don’t get me started how the scenery in this fic gives you that full immersion u need to feel like ur in Caem

The Experience by MakikoIgami

7735 words | Rated E

aND BOY WAS THIS FIC AN EXPERIENCE. Basically, the boys think of all the loopholes they can use to reach maximum satisfaction AND the experience is an experience bcos u get all this good, filthy smut and in the end the feels train hits you out of nowhere so u don’t know what to do with urself

Letters for Nobody by Ashino

13,939 words | Rated I’ll gauge it about M

other pairs: gladnis

wherein umbra becomes postman pat for the crownsguard and their late king. This fic, although set in the tragedy that is the canon end, has a lot of feel good letters in there that makes u wanna get out ur best stationery and write one urself.

Nothing to Lose by AJDiamond

4986 words | Rated T

HHHIIII I like age difference promptis so here’s a classic coffee shop au, with gladio being a broken record in terms of his love advice

here is the root of the root (and the bud of the bud) by stardusting

11025 words | Rated T

U kno ur fandom made it when it’s got a hanahaki au, so ur sorted for that angst, plus their other works are also very cute!

designation by yeaka

1327 words | Rated E

this a/b/o fic never fails to get me hot under the collar no matter how many times i read it #mkinyk #dont@me but DO check out the promptis yeaka writes fam fucking W O W read them

galleria by omegas

2180 words | Rated G for GOOD SHIT

in the famous words of utada hikaru: simple and clean is the way that this fic makes me feel tonight. in this au, prom opens a photo gallery, noct is smooth af and the art industry in insomnia is just like the one in real life: difficult

silver linings by countingpaperstars

7625 words | Rated E

I bet if they were an indie band, they’d be called prompto and the niffs but I digress. IN THIS BAND AU we get massive fanboy prince noctis and iggy the square doing his typical: no u cant do blah bcos u r the prince and responsibility and reputation etc; can never get enough of these, plus smut in the end 👌🏼 absolute cherry on top of this sundae

‘holidays with promptis’ series by fmpsimon

10,389 words | Rated M

Get urself in the spirit of Christmas by reading these beauties; plus their other work s are also worth the read

ANGST AHOY:

‘the body’ series by ipacialiera

79,199 words | Rated E for MASSIVELY EXPLICIT

other pairs: highspecs, lunoct, ravus/gentiana, promptio, prompto/iris, promdyn, promptHOE, verstael/iedolas, soz if I missed some but go read their tags

lemme say this first and foremost: I tend to avoid angst and heavy, dark themed stories like the plague, but bcos I’m an absolute little shit I obviously read the first chapter of this and I was instantly hooked; I don’t recommend this to anyone who wants to have a good time bcos as much as this story was engaging, my soul cries for the boys in this film noire/detective/crime au so read if you like the sound of it. I give massive, massive props to the writer bcos this 2-part series was a rollercoaster, and at least you get some closure in this fic, but that’s like trying to douse a kitchen fire with a cup of water; however, it’s literally better than no closure. I implore those who consider this fic to look at each tag the author puts down and if you really, really can’t read something like them, don’t bloody read it, like I can’t say I enjoy reading these kinds of stories bcos I don’t but I just wanna give credit where it’s due because this is incredibly written

a long december by promptoschocohoe

32,934 words | Rated M for My God, I still haven’t stopped crying bcos of this one

other pairs: gladnis

so this and ‘the body’ will probably be the only angst heavy fics I will rec in this whole list unless I get back on my bullshit again and this one absolutely hurt me, incredibly bittersweet with 17% sweet and 83% bitter from the heavy themes you will face on here, and the reason why this fic hits me more is because it feels very ‘real world, real life’ believable like I can imagine this being something someone will actually go through. again, I rec this one to give credit where it’s due bcos, man, I’m still reeling from this. I couldn’t put it down once I started reading it. read their story’s tags and if u don’t like don’t read and the song choices are just. a good choice. can someone pls make a spotify playlist of it and @ me on that so I can follow it and cry my heart out again? thanks x

[bitcofun]

In an unique interview with cryptonews.com, Mitchell Amador, Founder of Immunefi, speaks about the Founding story of Immunefi, developing brand-new web3 security systems, and informs stories about discovering bugs that have actually secured $60 bn+ in user funds. About Mitchell Amador Mitchell Amador is the Founder of Immunefi, the leading bug bounty and security services platform for web3 that safeguards crypto tasks and routine users. In a period of less than 2 years, Immunefi has actually conserved more than $25 billion dollars from being hacked and actively guards over $60 billion in users' funds. Before Immunefi, Mitchell was best understood for making Sophia the Robot an around the world experience as the CMO of SingularityNET and as the VP of Marketing at Steemit, where he drove its adoption and development, leading to a peak $2 billion evaluation. In addition, he belonged to the rLoop Hyperloop group, drove development for the world's dominant web.pdf business, and assisted introduce the biggest user-owned open world, Decentraland. Mitchell Amador provided an extensive unique interview which you can see below, and we enjoy for you to utilize it for publication offered there is a credit to www.cryptonews.com. Highlights Of The Interview Stories about discovering bugs that have secured $60 bn in user funds The starting story of Immunefi - discovering issues in the security stack Blockchain and crypto hacks - will they ever decrease? Anonymous workflow; cleaned gadgets, custom-made os, CUBEs, VPNs, restricted access to socials, and so on Building brand-new systems - it's going to be odd, however it will work Full Transcript Of The Interview Matt Zahab Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Cryptonews Podcast. We're buzzing as constantly, and we got another extraordinary visitor locked and filled for today we have Mitchell Amador, the creator of Immunefi, the leading bug bounty and security services platform for web 3, to secure crypto tasks and routine users. In a period of less than 2 years, Immunefi has actually conserved more than $25 billion from being hacked Holy crap, and actively guards over 60 billion in users funds. The business's paid the most substantial bug bounties in the software application market, totaling up to over 60 million consisting of 10 million for a vulnerability found in wormhole, which is quite bananas. And we'll get to that later on. Prior To Immunefi Mitchell was best understood for making Sophia the Robot an around the world feeling as CMO of SingularityNET. And as the VP of Marketing at Steemit where he drove its adoption and development. She was likewise a member of the rLoop Hyperloop group drove development for the world's dominant web.pdf platform and assisted release the biggest user-owned open-world Decentraland. Without more ado, I'm extremely happy to invite Mitchell Amador to the Cryptonews podcast. Mitchell, welcome to the program, my pal. Mitchell Amador Thank you. It's a challenging list of professional athletes do not hold me responsible to it. Matt Zahab Hey, when there's an excellent bio, it needs to read effectively. Congratulations on the remarkable background and for the listeners in the house who can not see you. That is among the coolest business t-shirts I've seen up until now. How can I snag among those bad young boys? Mitchell Amador Oh, you need to discover an important vulnerability and conserve a great deal of individuals's funds. If you do. I will provide it myself. Matt Zahab Is that how you get Immunefi t-shirt? Intriguing. No, no e-commerce shop? Mitchell Amador No, no paradises no. It's a matter of visual quality. You understand, you can't simply make merch offered it needs to be made through blood and suffering. Matt Zahab Gotcha. Mitchell Amador We have actually made an entire lot of intriguing boodle, however just the very best white hats on the planet can declare it. Matt Zahab So I seem like this might be like a Yeezy 2.0 sort of when it came out and Yeezys were choosing like 10 grand a pop on eBay.

And Craigslist and Facebook market since its supply was so low is that what's going to occur to Immunefi t-shirts like just white hat. That's it? Mitchell Amador Quite potentially. I do not even understand if we'll make enough for a market to form, God ready to loan. Actually unique Hermes design. Matt Zahab Yes, Hermes what a brand name. Absolutely nothing much better than a Hermes tie. By the method. Do you have any Hermes ties? Mitchell Amador No. I didn't even understand they made ties. I didn't understand they made male things. Matt Zahab To me the goat of ties. Unbelievable. Mitchell Amador Okay, well, I'll need to on my partner now, she will evaluate me. Matt Zahab Unless it's unless there's just knockouts. Anyways, enough about style. Let's enter into the enjoyable things here. Immunefi, you are the creator of Immunefi and you and the group have actually paid a definitely ridiculous quantity of cash over60 Mil and cash. Did you ever believe that you 'd be paying such a large amount of cash to individuals actually conserving billions of dollars? Mitchell Amador Yes, I was definitely specific of it. It was the factor we released the business. Matt Zahab Actually? Mitchell Amador Yeah. I suggest, when we when we began. For some context, right, you understand, you can inform from my background, I've been in this area for a long time. And those are really generous functions, you need to handle whatever issues are coming your method. And like the security stack in crypto today is 100 times much better than it was several years earlier. Therefore we would have events like this all the time. And this is what developed the understanding for establishing Immunefi in the very first location. We understood that security was a losing video game. Currently, in this area, we understood just how much cash was at threat, due to the fact that you understand, we had actually been those exchanges who got hacked, we had actually been on the within events, handling them securing a job's Treasury or safeguarding their facilities that handle their secrets.. We understood how susceptible things were. And we understood how important it was to secure them. Due to the fact that we had actually remained in those circumstances where you need to do generally anything. You need to play ball with whoever comes your method. You need to discover a method to secure your properties and your facilities. Due to the fact that to refrain from doing so is specific death for whatever that you've produced. Far the overall damage of the equity that you've labored on for years, and years, and years. It's like you understand, you state, Oh, well, did you believe you would be paying out like a $10 million bounty? Well, yeah, naturally, on a long adequate timeframe. 2 years was quite quick. Not gon na lie, however like on a 510 year timeframe for sure. Since we had like simply looking at the steady coin examples, right, or the exchange examples, there have actually currently been numerous, lots of events, that would have been more suitable to have actually been prevented, were paying 10 mil out of pocket to get rid of that threat element would have been significantly more effective. And understanding that it was a certainty, everyone would take that offer. It was just a matter of time. Till we got to these type of numbers. The only concern was when? Can we bring this brand-new requirement to this area? For how long will it consider individuals to recognize that you actually, actually, actually need to focus on security over whatever else? And we were lucky that it occurs faster instead of later on. Matt Zahab How do you pay these bounties out? Like how do the good white hat guys and do that? who discover the bugs? How did they earn money out? Mitchell Amador The essential concern, so not just preparing to get your Immunefi t-shirt, however you're likewise resembling, how do I get my ticket? Well, it's all, you understand, quite, quite user-friendly.

We've got 2 methods of generally dealing with this. Primary is, white hat sends the vulnerability, right, the bug report goes through our extremely, let's call it in depth procedure for product packaging and structuring that report. That entire deal is settled, which can be a long procedure, in and of itself, right, it can extend over. We've seen things dealt with in 15 minutes, we've dealt with things that take 45 days? Really made complex cases, sluggish cases. Okay. Which can be as basic as alright, all of us settle on the effect and the seriousness cool, or, Hey, appearance, we concur it's genuine bug, however we disagree on the effect. Okay, now we need to discuss it. We get through all that. We verified this is a genuine bug, ideally, for you. Yeah, it's a million dollar important vulnerability. And what do we do now? Well, it's really easy. We state, hey, look, here's the address, we've examined it 3 times, we've observed, you understand, individuals make errors with their address this, we've cut a punch a little functions in, that will triple look at behalf of the users and we state, Look, I'm sending their charge that easy. And it's often paid on crypto, there are some exceptions where we'll send out cash to a savings account. The huge bulk of users choose paying cash in crypto, usually, that's steady coins USDC. In some cases USDT, usually a color, you understand, the white hats, particularly do choose color. And in some cases that's in tokens. For example, some of the European native tokens right there in the Aurora tokens, however it will differ. And there's not a clear connection in between, say bounty size, and whether it's in tokens or steady. CO payment, for instance, was all in trainees. Matt Zahab Can you discuss the distinction in between how a white hat would deal with Immunefi and how a white hat would simply arrange of go their own method? Let's state Company X has $100 million bug and white hat individual, why goes hello, I'm going to work my magic here. What's the like? What are the benefits and drawbacks with dealing with you people, we're versus simply doing it themselves? Mitchell Amador Sure. This is part of the factor we formed the business in the very first location, the experience of rolling your own bug bounty program, right and reveal it significantly more so on the side of the white hats of revealing was so bad, and so horrendous and so unpleasant, that we understood that there required to be a service, or we 'd all be running the risk of disastrous damage throughout the community. If you're on your own, I'm assisting deal a pal offer with the case right now a lot of jobs do not have a bug bounty program, they discovered a remarkable vulnerability that puts major properties at threats. What do you do? Well, you attempt and connect with the appropriate workers at whatever organization that you're handling. Now, if you've ever done sales prior to, for instance, and you're attempting to reach the ideal individual, you understand how tough that can be to browse and resemble, Oh, hello, who's accountable for your security, inside Company X, Y, Zed. You're gon na be on this wild goose chase? Simply for the start, you discovered that like alive payload, you've got a make use of, it can be run, the whatever the organization is, they're susceptible. And yet, you understand, you're going to invest days, weeks, months, simply attempting to get access to the ideal individual. Yeah, then you get access to the best individual. You're fortunate many of the time, you may, you might simply not ever get gain access to, and you simply have to call it a day or you openly divulge whatever. Let's state you get fortunate you make a break and what occurs next, or they have a bug bounty program of their own. Let's state they run it. And they hosted themselves. What occurs next? Well, then you're now talking with who you hope is either it's either going to be an engineer, usually, or is going to be the head of security,

or often it's even going to be the CEO or a COO, if they do not have that sort of function. And in all cases, this individual is going to be rattled. They've simply found that you've got a sword of Damocles, right, a sword hanging by a thread over their head and you've had it for days, weeks, months. And you're stating you desire something for it? A minimum of, that's how they translate it. They're really worried. They're adversarial. They're like this individual might actually mess me up. Do they desire to take benefit of me, that's the only factor they would get in contact? That's not the case. Certainly, the white hat by act by divulging in the very first location is revealing their excellent faith. Individuals in a state of worry do not react that method. Therefore they fret and the tension over it, and now you're attempting to describe, hey, here's the vulnerability, here's how you need to repair it by you understand, please, you understand, likewise pay me for my great. Preferably, you understand, this things does not isn't totally free. And they're like, is it genuine? I do not believe it's genuine. I believe you're attempting to rip-off me. And after that they're like, oh, shoot, it's genuine. I still believe you're attempting to fraud me, simply even if it is genuine. And you divulged in great faith. Matt Zahab So the entire procedure, it's an outright shitshow. And, and once again, I'm attempting to put my feet in the because in a corporation shoes. It's like if I had $100 million hack insight bug rather, inside my corporation in some in John comes out to me and goes, Hey, Matt, you got to pay me 10 mil to conserve 100 What do you state? Like that's, that's a quite insane scenario. You understand, like, those circumstances do not grow on trees. And I would likewise resemble, John, you're complete of shit. And after that I 'd most likely get 100 Mil taken from me. Mitchell Amador That's what Equifax did. And they had like, you understand, half of America social security information from them? It's like we all understand with our consumers, like we truly do. We remained in that position, we understand how tough it is. At the very same time, none of that is the best action. All of that is disadvantageous. All of that develops a terrible experience for the white hat, who is otherwise conserving your bacon, and revealing that they're running in excellent faith. It's damaging your future security capacity, since word goes out, and after that no one wishes to assist you. No one wishes to handle you. Due to the fact that after all, you simply you screw, whoever approaches you in great faith and takes a danger. And it's a mess. And there's nevermind, like, envision determining a benefit. You have no bug bounty program, you have no expectations. Like, how do you determine that? Well, it's straight up settlement, where you're indirectly it's a zero-sum video game. Like, no matter how you cut that, chances are, the white hat is going to be extremely disappointed with you, since you'll wish to protect funds. And no matter what you do, like you will most likely be extremely discontented with what you pay, since you're constantly gon na resemble, well, could not we have gotten a more affordable? There's no sense of what's reasonable worth. It's simply a dish for disappointments. And this is what all bug bounties remained in crypto. For many years. Prior to we occurred, simply consistent disappointments that made bug bounty programs so reliable that the large bulk of the area didn't even trouble utilizing them. Like they weren't even worth the time. Matt Zahab Was there a specific circumstances, that made you feel the requirement to co discovered the business? Like what like, were you a part of a hack yourself? Or a co-founder, whatever the case may be? Mitchell Amador I imply, let's simply state I've been, I've lost lots of cash in our market. That wasn't the thing that kind of stimulated me on. That's like expense of operating. We're in crypto early, you understand, things are a mess. Matt Zahab

Shit's gon na strike the fan.? Mitchell Amador You can do whatever, right, it still occurs like heaps of wallets. I ruined how they develop their seed expressions. Which caused vulnerabilities on the line that's taken place like half a lots times, and let you understand, all the funds you put in there susceptible some years later on. Like, it's simply includes the area. The minute where I was like, Okay, we require a systemic option was when I was on, I was in Switzerland on this on this mountain, I was extremely ill. I was extremely ill and moody and dissatisfied. And I didn't like Switzerland, so pricey. And it was cold, like bad mix of characteristics. For me, the food isn't to my preference. It's like whatever is simply making me irritable. I had all this cash maker now. At and it was a lot for me. And it's gon na be a lot for a great deal of individuals. It was a lot for me. I resembled, I do not actually feel great about this. I do not truly feel safe about this. What do I do about this? I've remained in this area for so long. I understand great deals of security individuals, however for some factor, like, where are my security guarantees here? Why ought to I think that the cash that I put here is safe. And I began inspecting. I resembled, I should not think it, make it out, run a few of the very best security ops and in the area, for sure. When I went to examine, right, why should I be particular about it? You understand, you go and ask the individual you're like, look, all code is insecure. All code is going to have bugs. And we do the very best possible work that we can. They're a remarkable, incredible group. There's simply like that as a danger aspect for them too. And you do not get the within view. You do not get to see the audits. You do not get to see the security evaluations. You do not get to see the QA that's going on to verify how great they're doing it from the exterior. You're similar to, I do not have a great deal of excellent factors to be positive of any specific clever agreement that my cash's in. And it was at that minute when I comprehended so that when I simply did when I absorbed that insight completely, I understood that it's like, fine, this requires a systemic service, we require an entire security stack. And if we do not establish that security stack, we are going to doom this area to an amazing variety of thefts. That security stack, it has to like it requires to begin the most essential piece. And the important things I was completely missing out on resembled, What are your relied on guarantees? What are your security guarantees? How do you secure yourself when you're on Main internet when all the cash's truly there? Which's how we pertained to this conclusion of bug bounties for like, you understand, we determined an entire list of what the issues in the security stack were, where all the important things required to be dealt with, what sort of innovation required to exist, and we concerned the conclusion of Okay, this one, bug bounties is the hardest. It's the hardest. It's the least enjoyable. It's the worst experience. And it's the most crucial to in fact conserving individuals from getting robbed. We're like, oh, well, you understand, me and my buddies, we all had the exact same nature go to the hardest issue. toss ourselves versus the wall. That's what we did. Matt Zahab A number of things there. One, I like that story. Thank you for informing me that. I typically discover that individuals have these aha minutes in life comparable to you did while you understand being on a mountain in Switzerland, freezing your balls off, like when you're out of your convenience zone, like fantastic things take place, you understand, and it's odd like that. It's practically paradoxical, where a great deal of amazing concepts are developed when you're in the very best of minute drinking on a Mai Tai on a beach in Thailand or Bahamas. And on the other side, while you're freezing your NADs off on a cold mountain in Switzerland, it's amusing how the world works.

Not exactly sure if you have any commentary on that. The 2nd is you discovering an unsexy issue. And it being really successful. That's another sort of, you understand, rule in life that is so obvious that nobody likes to pursue, like, if you were to ask me, and no offense to you in the group, I'm sure not offense taken, you people are doing effectively, heck, you simply raised a great deal of cash, however he's prepared to, we'll get to that quickly. Like, I would not desire to be paying out bug bounties. That's not an area I 'd wish to operate in. It's friggin crucial. It's not attractive, however it foots the bill. And it does more than that. It's simply yeah, not exactly sure where I'm opting for those 2 points. Amusing how life works. Often. Mitchell Amador It's real. There's this, you understand, amusing phenomenon, you got those terrific concepts on the one side, however the things that actually move the needle, right, in a systemic method, in a method that uses to everyone, or big populations, the easy things, right, like someone discovered a method to make insurance coverage, inexpensive and simple to compute, and unexpectedly everyone can get insurance coverage for like, Well, why would anyone care about that, however then you have, you understand, 1020 30% of the population no longer worrying, every day of their life, that their home is gon na go on fire, that the home is gon na get flooded. This maximizes this huge bounty of human energy and capacity. Life is like that. And for our part, like, the root of that is the stress and anxiety, the worry that creators have, that we had, when we were constructing. We're, we're constructing all this amazing facilities, we're attempting to develop the rails? We're attempting to produce the piping for a brand-new world. And we're vesting work, we're all in we're putting skin in the video game, where are you understand, all in on our portfolio, like that job is our dream that we're attempting to develop. And our entire life course is contingent on its result. And you're stuck to this frustrating worry and stress and anxiety that a single vulnerability due to the fact that some engineer had a bad day or consumed excessive of a smile, whatever, vulnerability insinuated, and you got trashed. Due to the fact that of that. It's like this unbelievable reverse. It's like a it's like a hell lotto. A lotto from hell, you understand that you may have drawn that fortunate ticket due to the fact that somebody slipped up. And the outcome is the damage of years of your labor. And we're like, fine, that's bad. That's like that's harmful. Now, we're encouraged to go and repair that. Which does indicate, we need to handle like, truly hard workflows and truly difficult issues. I believe that releasing individuals up so that they do not have to fret about these things, either as a creator or as a user of these innovations is eventually very beneficial. Matt Zahab I like that. Can you Mitchell, can you stroll me through a number of excellent stories about discovering bugs that have actually assisted secure a few of those 60 billion and user funds will be romance in the crypto news pod. You do not need to not you do not need to drop names. If you have any actually great stories, I 'd like to hear. Mitchell Amador There's been a great deal of such cases. Clearly, a great deal of this things is discrete. I'm attempting to be mindful with what I state. There was this enjoyable case like I'll go back to the this was a really early days for us. It was this 3rd or 4th vital vulnerability that we handled the task called ArmorFi and the creators A man called Robert Forester, he's a fantastic character, and is a strong security man was a bug Hunter himself. He comprehended right away the worth of what we were doing, and chose to publish this huge million dollar bounty on day one. And he's all prepared, he's pumped, he's gone through numerous audits, he's like, I've done whatever that might perhaps be done.

Now I'm gon na launch within 24 hours, somebody throughout the world had actually discovered a gamebreaking vulnerability that would have enabled somebody to take all the user funds that remained in that item. His was an insurance protection item. Therefore one exploitation, which would occur to be the claim function, somebody might click set off the claim function, and they would simply take it all. It's like the most significant insurance coverage pay day in the history of crypto, right. Matt Zahab One click Mitchell Amador One click, and what was the reason for it? What was the reason for it? An additional asterisk, simply wish to get in touch with screwed up the mathematics, increase the exponent by the exponent. Resulted in all possible funds, simply this small thing that needs to have been captured in QA, need to have been captured by automated tooling needs to have been captured in both audits. Everyone missed it. Everyone did. And as an outcome, like the only individual who might come and conserve the day, this function would have been set off, by the method by the very first individual who declared from that insurance coverage item. It's like, it wasn't like, oh, well, perhaps the hack would not have taken place? No, it was 100% particular that it would have been set off. The very first individual to declare their refund would have taken all everybody's cash. And he would resemble, well, we'll go if I litigate. The person who ended up conserving the day ended up being this young German gentleman who simply looked at it, he was like, Well, you understand, I believe this is an unbelievable task to believe this is unbelievable bounty, and I believe I can resolve this problem. Let me reveal it. Within, you understand, one, 2 hours after the disclosure, we were connecting things down, stopping briefly the agreements, cleaning up whatever up resembling it's all on hold, it's all on hold. And it's an amusing occasion. We repaired it, using funds were all conserved. They had a token with that task in it, and it pumped on the news that the bug bounty worked which the security was so efficient. Pump like 3, really unreasonable, however I enjoyed that it exercised well for him. That was alright. Matt Zahab What did the German lad get? What did he get for his bounty. Mitchell Amador We've got about a million dollars worth of tokens, Commander being what wound up being a bit more by the time it was provided. Matt Zahab Wow, possibly I ought to find out how to code and be a white hat or Mitchell Amador It's a progressively engaging profession course. What can I state? You got to be you understand, truly, actually into it. It's difficult. If you consider bounties.? And you think of security bug bounties are essentially well what if you did code evaluation? If you did vulnerability analysis, however you put it on max problem what's the video gaming term for self-destructive problem? Well stated whatever that is, it's simply all on all of them all the time. Matt Zahab That's a fantastic example that well that's the novella quote right play foolish video games win foolish rewards play huge video games play huge no win huge rewards. There's a quite friggin huge video game you're playing. Mitchell Amador Sure well I've won a great deal of very rewards in my life so Matt Zahab You're preaching choir retweet king of the silly rewards over here. Mitchell we got to take fast break and offer a substantial shout out to our sponsor the program which is PrimeXBT I enjoy PrimeXBT you men understand why? Due to the fact that they use a robust trading system for both newbies and expert traders does not matter if you're a novice or a veterinarian. You can quickly develop and personalize your designs and widgets to finest fit your trading design. PrimeXBT is likewise running a special promotion for listeners of the Cryptonews podcast utilize a promotion code CRYPTONEWS50 that is CRYPTONEWS50 all one word to get 50% of your deposit credited to your trading account.

Once again, that is CRYPTONEWS50 CRYPTONEWS50 all one word to get 50% of your deposit credited to your trading account. Now back to the program with Mitchell. Mitchell, you people ended up being the most significant and leading security platform for all of crypto in less than 2 years. That is absolutely something to compose house about. That is exceptionally outstanding. You got to provide me a couple suggestions here. Couple bits. A number of golden nuggets, clearly correct time best location. No shit. Offer me some non-obvious things that you and the group did to scale to this extraordinary task. Mitchell Amador I can inform you some tricks however they're gon na frighten you Sure. Do you wish to if you wish to. Matt Zahab I'm all ears strike me. Mitchell Amador Okay, well, you understand, top, you got to be fortunate. Time ideal location constantly the most essential thing. For us something that showed incredibly reliable. And it's been the basic viewpoint for how a variety of my circle I think I run our operation has actually been, go and do the difficult things anywhere the hardest issues are, is the significant chance where there's a possibility to produce genuine worth. And we took that to the limitations. With Immunefi, we went, we generally released and we went straight to hardmode. For example, we began taking clients like right from day one, when all we had was a Google kind, right and an average listings page, simply a table, simply a giant A, and we're like, No, we're in organization. Let's go. We did complete on attempting 24/ 7 processing of reports from the first day. They were simply concerning strike our inbox, we would examine them and send out the outcomes back to the clients, which is an extremely tough thing, if you understand what it's like to run 24/ 7 security groups. Matt Zahab I do not which would be headache fuel. Mitchell Amador Almost no one in this area, does it? We're one of the only ones. You understand, we did that. And this is from the first day. Another day. Something, while this was more like day30 When we found this issue, like there were these disagreements in between the tasks, what do we do? It's like, well, you generally require like an arbitration system in between them.? How do we get that in? And the response resembled, there is no law in this. There's no structure for handling there's no absolutely nothing. And it resembled, Well, I think we'll simply need to make it ourselves, which is what we did. And we ended up being the conciliators, now we have an entire set of teachings on how to translate these kinds of occasions and how to manage them and an entire series of case research studies and histories for how to work them out. It was, you understand, this is this typical style of like, alright, what's the most hard issue things that no one have actually ever resolved prior to, that are very unclear, it's like go towards them. They exist as points of user friction, if you fix them, you produce unbelievable worth. For everyone not winning wasn't simply for the consumers? Certainly, it was for us as an organization. It was for the consumers by driving real bug reports. Bug bounties didn't operate in crypto, however for us, we made them work. And it was for the users. Sure, we took that suffering on ourselves, you understand, forever nights, keeping up till 567 remain in the early morning to do the job. Dealing with very difficult cases, and conflicts mediations and making no work. The outcome of that was billions of dollars in funds conserved the outcome of that was the production of an entire market committed to proactively conserving tasks and utilize your funds. Like we went towards the heart thing, and the outcomes was an entire market. And I believe that uses in a great deal of cases. Matt Zahab Well stated. I like seeing how enthusiastic and fired up you have to do with this. Like it's I can inform you definitely enjoy this shit. There's no requirement for Firestarter under your ass any early morning. Mitchell Amador

Yeah, well, I take a look at it in this manner. In addition to simply being quite enthusiastic about making blockchain work, which we're doing, right, like, if we prosper in our objective to make the area more safe, we are straight allowing the blockchain world and if we stop working in our objective, a blockchain world is not possible. The worry of hacks, threat and so forth insecurity in our area will revoke its possible to be the rails the future monetary rails of the world. That's inspiring. You and I, Matt, you and I have cash in this area in this domain. And if we do not safeguard it, well, I do not understand where are you? I'm going to be a quite unfortunate panda. About all of it. I do not wish to get robbed. Inspired. I'm inspired in securing you and encouraging securing me I'm encouraged in producing something for the future. It's, it's beneficial and security is the concept. Matt Zahab Mitchell will crypto hacks ever decrease? Now? I understand this is a tough concern. Due to the fact that even web2 hacks are still obviously all the time he discussed the Immunefi, not Immunefi, Equifax hack, which once again, half a billion users or nevertheless insane it was. This shit grows on trees each and every single day web 2 business get hacked the majority of the time, it's information. And often it's numerous countless dollars. In crypto, it's more cash than anything else. Are we ever visiting the downturn? Or will the hack parade constantly simply be an insane thing? Since of the nature of the decentralized systems in area? Mitchell Amador That's a hard concern that you asked me hard concerns. The response is, it's nuanced. No, the hacks are never ever going to decrease. Number one, however at the exact same time, the hacks will get less destructive? on a portion basis.. What you're gon na see is the rate is going to continue to increase an increasing boost, simply like we see with the history of rip-offs in our area. And we see with hacking and rip-offs in the standard monetary markets, like you do not find out about it. There's 100 times as lots of hacks 600 1000 10,000 times as lots of hacks going on in standard tech and financing that you simply you simply never ever learnt more about. It ends up being a continuous thing which's the instructions where crypto is gon na go. It's simply going to be consistent and never ever ending. Like now we're at the point where hacks are Multiple times a day, that's not going to stop. Which simply features the boost of development in the area. And the boost in the variety of individuals who have the abilities to make use of and you capture that person in a bad day. And he's, he's going to do it. He's bad, he's lost his task. You understand, he got battered by the system, whatever, you understand, he's warranted he feels and making the exploits. That's what it's gon na do. Security in the area is likewise enhancing, right, we're in this never ever ending arms race with human greed and malevolence. Therefore we're likewise improving at securing the area. Every day, a growing number of white hats are registering to us Immunefi finest hackers on the planet are registering to join us in securing tasks. Every day tasks are getting more advanced in their security practices, developing a much better layers of defense, establishing much better bug bounty programs that lead to more eyes on code, and more vulnerabilities avoided from exploitation. Therefore what you're gon na discover is, the hacks are going to continue to take off, fine, and the magnitude of Hacks is likewise going to increase even if that's an analytical phenomenon. on a portion basis, the efficiency of hacks is going to reduce slowly, as security captures up a growing number of. And it's this type of, you understand, we're reducing the damage, we're reducing the dangers, it does not totally get rid of the occasions, they're still going to occur, they're going to get larger, they're going to get even worse, however less of them are occurring typically relative to the quantity of cash at threat.

And you see this with a lot of the hacks now? The larger hacks are a lot rarer. It's normally much smaller sized hacks that are occurring, the basis, that was not how it remained in the early days, where the majority of the occurrences were extremely, large quantities of cash. The trajectory is great.? The trajectory of security in our area is actually enhancing drastically. Day by day. We're definitely doing our part to do that. Yes, the hacks are not going to slow down. And yes, they are going to increase some liberty. Intriguing. We likewise have to be all set for that truth. Matt Zahab Are we visiting what was the most significant hack up until now? What was it wormhole? 350 mil? Mitchell Amador No, no, no, the wormhole case was not it's not even from another location near to the biggest. Matt Zahab What's been the biggest? Mitchell Amador Well appear like you might take a look at the Binance case, which was, you understand, simply today, recently, that was 5 more than 500 mil and BNB. taken from the bridges. Now the aggressor just got away with about6070 That's still you understand, generally totally free mint dilution of the whole base. By about 500 mil. You're the ronin hack, which was nearly $600 million. Yes, yes.. That was a substantial case. Matt Zahab Are we gon na see a 10 figure hack? Mitchell Amador Of course we are. I indicate, it's currently taken place, like the Bitfinex hack years back is equivalently 10 figures, or may be 11 figures today. Matt Zahab I indicate, I suggest, a present day, I imply, on the day, for sure. It's gon na occur. It's gon na take place. Mitchell Amador No doubt. I'm 100%. Specific. I indicate, we for context? We can look at the optimism case, we can look at the polygon case, we can look at some other cases, we understand that aren't public? We have actually currently existed avoiding the 10 figure hack numerous times over, how do you believe we got to the 25 billion number, which is conservative, the genuine number is more around 35 to $40 billion dollars, by the method, at this moment. Like, that's, you understand, that's the are we going to get to a 10 figure hack 40 times over. Alright, consider that. It's not simply a single separated case. There have actually been, I believe, I do not understand if we're up to a lots. You understand, we're not far off. Matt Zahab And you most likely you and the group have actually seen some insane shit that the general public most likely has no hint up. And never ever will. Mitchell Amador Of course, obviously, you understand, the majority of these things. You hear about these amazing cases, like the armor I simply pointed out, or, like the Polygon cases, you hear about them, since the Polygon group is so excellent faith. Therefore vulnerable to public disclosure, and supporting the neighborhood that they're going to share.? What's going on, they have such terrific security practice, generally, that they're going to do that and props to me. Matt Zahab They're not going to provide not gon na provide the real reason. Mitchell Amador Well, they're doing what they're gon na do. And I believe what they that technique of making things transparent is the ideal one, however a great deal of jobs do not, right, or a great deal of scenarios they think about extremely delicate, and those ones never ever make it public. And you can see the quantities of cash walking around, like there's like, it's an excellent reward to be like, Well, alright, well, I can talk or I can keep this personal and their dollars. That's okay. Yeah.. We have heaps and loads of cases, impacting billions and billions of dollars that do not see the light of day due to the fact that everyone concurs for whatever factor is appropriate to them that it's finest to keep it peaceful and we support that, you understand, if the both celebrations desire to keep it personal, that's their company. It's not ours. We enjoy to do our task and securing the neighborhood and we draw ball. Matt Zahab

So, when that scenario occurs, is it like, you understand, Everyone does a virtual handshake, Doc's get signed, and after that NDAs get fired throughout everybody's desk, everybody indications them up, boom, back to sort of that approximate 3rd party, you understand, arbitrator, which's it Case Closed. Mitchell Amador Typically we do not require NDAs or docs. I suggest, I desire you to comprehend a multitude of these white hats divulging are confidential. They're not going to expose their identity. Matt Zahab Like completely, totally non, you understand, no about them. Mitchell Amador Yeah, they wish to do their excellent faith action. They do not desire to get iced. They do not wish to be penalized. Matt Zahab Gotcha. Mitchell Amador Because they did something that they believed was right, which takes place, right, that's occurred a lot in the history of hacking. Which's occurred a lot in the history of bug bounties where you get penalized for doing a kindness. Therefore there's this personal privacy aspect. Therefore some jobs will they might send out over an NDA, and it's like, all right, well, if that remained in the regards to their bug bounty program? Sure, let's do that. That's the best thing to do. That's what you concurred to do. Matt Zahab But if it's not and it does not occur. How did how did these white hatters remain completely non like offer me their methods of interaction? Are they signal plus proton mail? Are they like provider pigeon? Like what's, what do they do? Mitchell Amador It's truly difficult to remain totally unidentified? Since you require such fantastic OpSec that you never ever mistake even when. Okay, which is nigh difficult. That's very challenging to do. That's like composing software application without any bugs. Yeah, incredibly, incredibly difficult to do. There are methods that you can do that. Generally, they're going to have gadgets that are committed to particular performances, and just utilize them for that. They may have something they just utilize for crypto deals that the only usage for bug searching, or they just utilize for interactions, they may be on custom-made operating systems like tails, or heads. Or they may be utilizing cubes to restrict gain access to. Things like VPNs are certainly an offered. They'll utilize other types of masking software application to make it even more hard to pull out details. For example, your web browser is informing, you understand, Apple, or, you understand, we're utilizing Google Chrome, it's sending out Google details back on what kind of hardware you're running? What's the finger print of your maker and an entire lot of qualities. And there's great deals of methods to obstruct that. And to obfuscate that, they're going to generally utilize those, they may likewise restrict access to any socials or facilities that they utilize with this device? Since the minute you log into proton, sure, proton states they aren't tracking anything. Like, they can examine where your IP came from, they can inspect, you understand, attempt and gather more info in your web browser, more details on your hardware if they're smart enough. Therefore you likewise wish to manage how you access all that facilities. A range of procedures like this, in aggregate, integrated with a really, extremely disciplined usage of an extremely little number of tools is how you remain confidential. And like, think about if you actually desire to stand on anyone, like you can't utilize Google Docs. And you can't utilize a lots of applications, your phone, if you utilize an iPhone, it's constantly in lockdown mode, which is you understand, iPhones are not personal at all. You most likely will not even be an iPhone user. You're doing all this things, right to restrict gain access to, making your prospective attack surface area extremely little by utilizing a little number of applications, devoted gadgets, and being very disciplined about how you engage with anything on there. Matt Zahab

So, a minimum of simply from white hat and non user to you and business gets hacked. What's the ways of call? Is it e-mails telegram? Is it signify? What do you people utilize? Mitchell Amador The methods of comms? Well, we utilize our application. The truth is that bug reports are truly complex things to deal with.? It might take us days or weeks to deal with the event. There's a lots of subtlety, you require a great deal of eyes on it. It's not going to be like oh, it comes to us and then we deal with it for them. No, no, it goes to Mike go through our layer of triaging where examining the report, they'll go through an automatic system, and it'll go to the job. The job could be 10 individuals? It might be a single engineer, or it might be an entire engineering and security group. And they require to go back and forth and talk and they might require to speak to us independently. The whole we have an application where all this interaction takes location. Touch and it takes place after the submission of the report that develops essentially the report. And after that from there, we have a huge thread. We're managing all sorts of various kinds of interaction in between the white hat in between the task and after that under different conditions with Immunefi itself. Matt Zahab So all of it occurs. That makes overall sense. Everything occurs within Immunefi walls. Mitchell Amador And we naturally, like this is the most delicate information we comprehend that we are the castle to generate crypto. And so we are continuously browsing our facilities. Manning our walls end to end, locking this down to make it as secured in a safe environment as possible. Matt Zahab No double parenthesis in any Immunefi code. Mitchell Amador Let's simply state that we compose spick-and-span and effective. Matt Zahab Clean, attractive, and effective code. I like it. Mitchell, this has actually been an outright reward male, I've had a lot enjoyable talking with you. And ideally we can do this personally one day, we are getting a little tight for time here. The race, congrats on the race from structure, among the very best VCs in the area. Stroll me through that entire procedure. You understand why you men chose to deal with them? The cash, the entire 9 backyards? What are you gon na make with it? Inform me about the structure endeavor race. Mitchell Amador So that was a hard one? We came to the end of in 2015. And our thesis was simply, you understand, actually starting to remove. Okay? And we're like, Okay, well, what do we do? You understand, next? Well, we require to raise we require we've developed something that's truly remarkable and truly engaging. And it produces a lot worth for the neighborhood. We require more aid. We require more individuals, we require more resources, we require more engineers, like we require a lot more to actually provide on our objective. Let's go out and raise, the very first thing that we did was store that around to all our partners be like, Well, what do you believe? And it's at that point structure, you understand, offered itself, which was amazed they were our seed financiers. And they were extremely encouraging, exceptionally valuable, really hands on item partners, an uncommon thing in our area. And we liked that, however we didn't anticipate them to wish to back us to the next action. They stated, No, no, let's, you understand, let us do it. Let us do it. We began talking back and forth about how it would work. And I indicate, I believe I was truly delighted with essentially whatever and how they performed themselves incredibly high stability, they essentially offered us the pitch for where they were going. And I resembled, alright, yeah, these are the best partners. For us. These are individuals who can assist take Immunefi, to make us the, you understand, the disclosure layer, the 911, layer for vulnerabilities in all of crypto. And they've been that method since. I can count on them to hop on a

call with me and barbecue me about item and get something actually important insights any day of the week. Which is that's, you understand, the very first thing I do not understand, you wish to speak about, you understand, how we're going to utilize the cash or what you wish to do? Matt Zahab Yeah, well, you can enter into it and have some enjoyable here. Mitchell Amador Okay, so we raised $24 million. Which wasn't simply from structure. Structure was the lead, and we're forever glad to them for that, however was likewise a few of our other partners. Essentially, everyone who's invested in us in the past, double, triple, or quadruple down in our last round. That when we people like the plan forest team, that would be electrical capital and other group of remarkable individuals, who would be the quote scale, people, like an entire lot of them. And, you understand, we wished to raise this cash to truly provide on this vision of developing the 911 layer, and the 911 layer of the area needs, you understand, impulse interactions, it needs incredibly reliable levels of purification so that you can recognize what the high concern cases are, right from the start. It needs a very high worth funnel, best and incredibly high worth circulation of attention entering that can develop into high worth bug reports, which you understand, that results in type of our marketing and our neighborhood functions and all the work that we're continuously doing there, to support the security neighborhood and grow it a growing number of and more, we simply do not have sufficient individuals, we've actually do not have adequate individuals in the area right to secure the area. And lastly, and most likely the most essential thing is we're going towards this world where we require more and more trust. The issue with bug bounties is trust. Therefore we're producing all this honestly special innovation these special possessions things that truly have actually never ever been seen prior to in order to facilitate what we feel will end up being a multi billion dollar market for vulnerabilities in the not so long run. Matt Zahab Well stated. Hey, congrats on the race not a doubt in my mind you men are gon na put those down arrows to great to excellent usage. Mitchell outright reward last concern for you hot takes we enjoy hot takes in the Cryptonews pod let's get a check and boots on Step inside the hot take factory What is something that just maybe Mitchell thinks in that most other individuals do not does not need to be crypto associated can be food sports, politics, location, area, celebrities style you call it can be something great? A metric of hot take. Mitchell Amador There's a lot of. How about over the next 100 years there's going to be an entire lot of brand-new faiths that appear and they're going to be great and they're going to spread out like wildfire you understand, some single digit number most likely brand-new Christianity news our app isn't. Matt Zahab Good. If we were beginning the religious beliefs of you understand Mitchell security and, and charming business T t-shirts. What would that appear like? Like inform me if you're if you were the head priest or head preacher of stated faith, what would that appear like? Mitchell Amador I was the head priest. Well, for beginners, we 'd have much better t-shirts? If you're gon na choose taste, you got ta go all the method. Whatever you carry out in this life, you got ta go 110% Matt Zahab You can't be half-pregnant. Mitchell Amador You can't be half-pregnant. I believe, you understand, the visual worth is going to be a huge thing. It's going to be a huge thing for it will be a huge thing for me. It's going to be a huge thing for this future, as all these individuals around the world, figure out that, you understand, the old systems do not work any longer, simply like they do not work for cash. As we're seeing crypto. Well, you understand what, they do not work for a great deal of things any longer.

Therefore they're going to develop brand-new ones. And it's going to be odd. Matt Zahab It's going to work. Mitchell Amador It will, it will work. Which's the important things. There's going to be brand-new faiths and they're going to work and individuals will choose them over the old method of doing things. And for a contemporary, you understand, like you and I, it's like, our world will be cast into the past. Similar to in the manner in which you understand, we consider the ancients resembled pagans worshiping, Hera and Zeus. That's unusual. What does that even appear like? Norse. Behrman entering some unsightly, decaying log temple hoping to an inadequately sculpted statue. What does that even suggest? It's absolutely various, however they're gon na take a look at us the exact same method and our weird gods of modernity and financial wealth. It'll be fascinating. I intend to live enough time to see a great deal of it concern fulfillment. Matt Zahab I enjoy that. Mitchell. Thank you a lot for beginning male had an outright blast. Prior to we let you go. Can you please let our listeners understand where they can discover you and Immunefi online and on socials? Mitchell Amador Sure, so everyone, you can discover me on Twitter @MitchellAmador. That's MITC H E L A M A D O R. You can follow me there. I typically discuss security or Spitfire about how the world's failing, which is a natural leisure activity of all security individuals I feel. There's that and you can find out more about Immunefi and what we do at Immunefi.com That's immunefi.com. Have a look at our blog site on medium. It's got a great deal of these insane stories and specifically great one if you wish to money read is inside the war space that conserved primitive financial resources hail of 48 hours of straight suffering to conserve countless dollars of usage or funds must be enjoyable. Matt Zahab I like that, Mitchell. Thank you a lot, male. What a reward. Can't await round 2. Ideally, it will remain in Portugal face to face with 2 Shure mics and not yetti mics. No complimentary advertisements however sure you're the go. Thanks, male. Value it. Mitchell Amador Thank you. Matt Zahab Folks. What an excellent episode with Mitchell Amador from Immunefi. What's an episode lots of fish stories fresh off a $24 million raise. We 'd like to see it. If you enjoyed this one. I hope you did. Please do subscribe it would suggest the world to my group and I to the group love you people and to the listeners. Thank you a lot. As constantly enjoy you more than you understand continue growing those bags and keep remaining healthy, rich and delighted bye in the meantime. We will talk quickly. Read More

[hogtowned-blog]

( MAIA MITCHELL. FEMALE. SHE/HER. )  —  oh, you mean sierra murphy, the 25 year-old cosmetologist? they live in L203 & have been here for one year. i know they’re an aquarius and when i see them, i can’t help but think of weakly woven beaded bracelets, creased concealer barely covering dark bags, and the ritualistic removal of the glitter and glitz of a long night out. but go say hey, get to know them for yourself! 

hey hey! my name is liz aka admin l and i’m so excited 2 rp w/ u !! i’m a 21 y/o living in the cst timezone and i’m down w/ she/they pronouns. i’ve got a few kids to hit you with but im caught up on the main a little so they may be spaced out. i’m down to plot just about anything!! feel free to hit me up here but if u got one i rly prefer discord where u can reach me @ rebel, rebel #5957 :))

A HISTORY

sierra grew up middle class as they come. her parents went all in on it: the house in the suburbs, the nuclear family, the dog and the picket fence. she was born their first child, and grew up with her little brother just behind her. there were no great tragedies in her childhood. they were happy and they got by, and that’s something she’ll always remember.

sierra always strove in the spotlight. she’s always loved getting a little extra attention. she took up cheer in middle school and used it to her advantage: she wasn’t cruel, but she certainly soaked up being able to create a cool girl persona for herself. her parents were glad she had the extracurricular, and she reveled in becoming one of the faces most well known of her class.

high school comes around and it’s more of the big same. she continues to be generally well liked and popular. for three years, she frequents party scenes, tries to get to as many people as she cans, but all the while, she never really stopped to make like. meaningful lasting connections. like she’s the kinda girl to say she loves you the night you meet her but then you don’t hear from her for weeks. she was kind of that person that everyone knew and was pretty much cool with but asides from a few exceptions didn’t have many real friends just casual pals and people she could party with.

her senior year, someone wrote on the third stall in the one nice girl’s bathroom at school that she was a superficial bitch. no one paid as much mind to it as she did. because in all reality, it was right. she cared about the wrong things for the wrong reasons. she drove around for a couple hours listening to kelly clarkson and really trying to figure her ish out and ultimately decided to try to be more real with people. she wanted things to be honest and she wanted the people that liked her to like her for who she was not just because she was cool to hang out with sometimes.

a side effect of making her circle small was that she really got clingy to people who were nice to her plain and simple. enter noah. they met a while after that, but while she was still kinda trying to find herself beyond trying to be the most likable person in a room. he took to the amount of her real self she showed, and he made her feel special. but it got super serious super fast once she found out she was pregnant.

pregnancy tw when she found out she was pregnant, she prepared to take it in stride. with noah, she really felt like maybe she could pull all of this off, and be the kind of person who roots themselves in family, because it’s how she got by as a kid. she knew that an unplanned pregnancy as young as they were wasn’t really the most statistically sound foundation for her family and the rest of her life to be built on, but she figured it was worth a shot. she started to pursue a more serious relationship with noah and finished up obtaining her cosmetology license and really tricked herself into feeling like she had this on lock.

things were okay for a while. and then they weren’t. sometimes the strain of moving that quickly tears things apart, and before their daughter ava’s first birthday, noah and sierra had called it. they’re still amicable to coparent, but it’s undeniable that things are vastly different in sierra’s life as she functions largely as a single mother.

she’s sort of in a catch in her life now where she wants to be the mature adult her daughter needs her to be, but she’s also still twenty-five, single, and finding her footing in the world. yes, she watches more doc mcstuffins than most people her age, but she’s also not afraid to take a night off and head out on the town with her girls when she needs it. so bottom line is her life at this point is all about working to find that balance and allow herself to be both a mother and her own person.

A LIL MORE

make no mistake, sierra’s never taken being miss Thing to a mean place. she was never cruel, but there was always something just,,, kinda spacey about her, because she was nice enough and fun to have at a party but she really is the chameleon type of person to adjust 2 whatever her surroundings were. she’s a little fake in that sense and there are times people have been able to scope cracks in her facade to see that she’s more shallow than she lets on

she’s weirdly zen now like she worked out her stuff and she’s come back a lot less high strung than before catch her doing yoga on the beach in the early mornings with the oldsters

pansexual princess

she can find herself slipping back into old habits and kinda just agreeing to things for the sake of being agreeable and likable or acting out because of the attention it brings so look out

week days she pretty diligently devotes herself to keeping up work and her family but the weekends unless she has explicit plans that require her 2 keep it Professional and good influence-y she’s probably throwing down some….. old habits die hard