#just gonna make a whole collection of stupid critters

[smalltimidbean]

Stupid... Hedgehog

[draconic-distress]

Ok apple pen jumpscare aside, I have a LOT of thoughts on the ghost craft/holy horror mansion trailer, so I may as well make a kinda deep dive post like I did with the Legends ZA announcement

this is gonna be long as fuck so be warned, we're diving deep

Ok so first of all… I think we all knew that it was gonna be yokai watch’s spiritual successor, but I don’t think leading with that is a great call, because people will expect more of the same, and I don’t think that’s entirely fair to this new game they’re making.

That being said, let’s get into the actual game itself, because holy shit this is a lot to take in at once and we still know like nothing.

So the first thing we get introduced to right off the bat is our protagonist, Ten Lordland, which is kind of a stupid name so I’m hoping that the localization gives him a better one

^ this is the bitch. He kinda reminds me of Hailey-Anne with how uppity and all over the place he is; we don’t have much substance on him as a character but he seems like a good kid

One thing we do know about him though is that he’s Loaded, and that his grandma is the landlord of the titular holy horror mansion, which is apparently also a gate to the underworld (giving Mt. Wildwood, but this is where the comparisons end)

We also have a better look at smaller areas of the apartment complex, or at least one small room where he whole thing starts. The camera in the third pic shows up a couple times, so I think it’ll be important in some way, especially considering this is where our ‘ghosts’ comes from:

So there’s three types, and honestly this is where the game shines the most in my opinion and really separates itself from yokai watch conceptually. they play into the concept of ‘ghost crafting’ really well:

First off is the green ghost, whose power we saw at the end of the last level 5 vision. Basically this ghost combines with objects and brings them to life, and that’s where the main critter collecting aspect comes in. I really like how they're handling this, it's a really fun idea

This is also where we get our new mascot aka pillow jibanyan:

She’s cute, her design feels very lively but not messy or too much. I hope we get to see more of her personality in game, I like her :)

Anyways back to the ghosts, now we have the blue one, whose thing is making chimera ghosts out of random objects. This is in fact where that fuckass apple pen reference happens

I like this mechanic, it’ll be fun just making fuck all from whatever’s in your inventory. Still, we’ll come back to the pen pineapple apple pen thing and its implications (because yes I’m not done with this)

And lastly is the pink ghost, whose power is… making dungeons?? I guess??

It’s cool and I like the idea of themed dungeons from everyday objects and the cool gameplay that will come of it, and I adore the cake themed dungeon, but it sticks out like a sore thumb, mostly because it’s the least purposeful of the three.

The green and blue ones have mechanics that make sense within the gameplay of being a critter collector, but the pink one’s uniqueness in its mechanics makes it feel weird.

I’m guessing that we’ll get more of an explanation of what it’s being used for in the actual game, so I’m looking forward to that. And also finding out whether the ‘something important’ Ten mentions is story related or if it’s just the thing at the end of each dungeon.

And then we hit the story aspects… ooh boy I know Yokai Watch and creature collectors in general aren’t really popular for their story, but this one just feels strange to me.

First off, our villain is the “De Ville Corp” and the "Dakarymen", and I mean I’m glad they’re not being subtle with it, we all knew what happened with YKW3, though its a bit on the nose; it makes some sense this game is clearly more family friendly/“kiddie.” But I think weirdly what irks me the most is…

why is this rich kid beefing with other rich kids? Like dude you’re fucking loaded your grandma literally owns the only known(?) gate to the underworld and makes bank off of other people living in this apartment complex that you live off of, what do you mean the villain is capitalism in a game where the protagonist is Rich.

Ok that one’s more nitpicky but still an odd decision imo. Anyways into the villain’s tactics, the main thing they do is they sell 'ghost items' which do... something. i dunno they're evil and hurt people ig maybe it'll get expanded on more later

there's also other wild ghosts that you have to find with your yokai wat-- i mean this shitty camera guy whose design is good on paper but bland in execution, and you fight those guys. i'm gonna say it now as much as i don't want to, i don't think this game is gonna beat the pokemon clone allegations in the west

i don't doubt that the battle system will be unique but at first glance i just have a feeling that people are gonna compare it to pokemon the same way they did with yokai watch, and it's a shame.

now that we've gone over the whole trailer, let's get into my three biggest concerns for this game because yes i sure do have opinions about it

first thing i wanna talk about that they said up-front is the fact that this is gonna become a HUGE multimedia series. ok. kind of horrifying if we're getting that immediately. i don't think it's such a good idea to have a brand new ip that's not even ready yet be put up to the expectation of this behemoth of a new series. that sets the bar pretty high, and there's a lot of worry of this getting too much and crashing from the pressure before its time like what happened to yokai watch

the second thing i've got which i think is a bit nitpicky but i want to mention anyways: "the theme of this title is 'family'," which means it will be "an experience for the whole family to enjoy together." this worries me a little because it gives the implication this is gonna be a more 'kiddie' game in a way. like the trailer was exciting and fun, but i could barely keep up with how fast and in your face it was even with how simple and straight forward is. (someone described it as like a tik tok brainrot vid and i think that does make sense). I hope that making it more appealing to all ages doesn't sacrifice Holy Horror Mansion's heart (we'll get to that) and willingness to go to darker places.

last thing, which i didn't know when i started writing this post, is the use of AI in like 90% of the trailer. because holy shit there's a lot.

look at that. gross. i knew something felt weird about Ten but I couldn't put my finger on it until i found out about the AI thing. this damn kid is the most damning evidence, at least for me since it's the easiest to see on him. and that's not even close to everything that could be AI, that's just the fucking protagonist!

I think deep down we all saw this coming considering Hino's previous statements on AI and the fact that he used a bunch of shitty ai yokai watch mockups as an example. Obviously if this game does use AI for all this stuff we're not gonna fucking support it, but this is still a very very VERY early proof of concept, and anything could happen between now and the game actually making any progress; until we see more I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic about the direction this game goes. Either Hino gets his shit together or we're not playing Holy Horror House because what the fuck.

to be honest, I think it's ok that yokai watch as a major franchise is ending. it kinda sucks since we've been waiting like five years since y school, but i do think it's over and that this is gonna be a fun new ip that can stand on its own from yokai watch. for a series whose first game's resolution was to live and let go of something you love, I think we should take a page from yokai watch 1's book more often. i'm excited to see where Holy Horror Mansion goes from here on out! also we still have puni puni and Jaen is there so I'm satisfied enough I guess.

anyways tl;dr, Holy Horror House looks fun and has a lot of potential as a brand new ip, i'm afraid for its future as a multimedia giant and/or an ai shitshow, and Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time is my most anticipated game of 2025

[seththemusehub]

ay y'all I got a stupid request.

I have a project I'm starting for like the fourth goddamn time. this is a project I have been working on off-and-on since like...the late 90s, early 00s. it is a massive goddamn farming game akin to Stardew Valley and Rune Factory, except not on a 'this is a village and everything you do is in and around this village' scale, on a 'you start on a farm and can literally walk around the planet except for the parts where there is ocean there you gotta take a boat' type of scale.

I need a name for the damn thing. I had one at one point, but it has been long enough that my brain has just fucking flung it out the goddamn window. my brain is unhelpful. the only ideas I have had thus far, and I quote:

Seth — Today at 4:08 PM anybody want to help me figure out what the fuck to name my game [4:08 PM] besides Farming McFuckingHugelarge [4:09 PM] I don't think that's a very catchy name that will make parents want to buy it for their kids seththemuse — Today at 4:12 PM what about 'that big farming game' [4:12 PM]vague and yet to the point

for reference, I'm gonna put a (pretty long) idea of what kind of crap I'm gonna cram into this thing so you can see the stupid amount of work I'm gonna put myself through, because having an idea of the massive plan list seems prudent.

there are different races ranging from elves and dwarves to harpies and fairies and pixies. there are heinous amounts of monsters, plants to grow, creatures to raise and collect stuff from, stuff to hunt, an absolutely ridiculous amount of weapons to choose from (and tiers for each different weapon type), materials to mine, tree varieties to cut down, places to explore, magic and potion crafting to learn, accessories to buy and make. there are stupid amounts of NPCs to interact with, a majority of which you can romance regardless of what setup you got going on downstairs, though some of em might be a little weird about it if you decide you wanna be with a partner that is the size of your hand. or the other way around, y'know.

got plans for a massive cooking system that you can add magic and potions to so the dishes give buffs or other perks, a bunch of dungeons and caverns for exploring, bugs and fish to collect and sell/trade/gift, an alliance system where you can EVENTUALLY win everyone over but shit will start out rough if you're friends with a race or town that these new nerds you're trying to befriend don't like. tameable monsters, in the 'I can raise this alongside my cows/pigs/sheep/birds' way, the 'I can bring this home and feed it and it will guard my farm/let me ride it/bring me stuff' way, and the 'I can plant this in a special kind of pot and it will eventually just hang out in a pen where I can collect some of the flowers or leaves or seeds it puts out' way.

multiple ways to do normal plant farming, too. typical 'till ground, plant seed, water seed, ?????, profit' farming, container farming, hydroponics, magical (enchanted container) gardening. tons of trees with different produce. standard farming game plants, plants that don't usually get included but are still stupid awesome, herbs and spices, magical plants for spell and potion ingredients, stuff grown specifically for monster or animal bait properties, ''meat'' plants (so you don't HAVE to get your farm critters butchered for meat, though it takes a lot of plants to add up to what you'd get from the actual critters), a buttload of foraging items you can get seeds or cuttings from or just straight dig up the whole ass plant to move it to your farm. mushrooms, an absolutely ridiculous number of mushrooms, and many of them ones you can cultivate at home if you figure that shit out.

loads of things you can ride. animals (including weird ones, I remember loving being able to ride stupid non-horse shit in Breath of the Wild), monsters (tame a monster, ride a monster), technology (horse drawn carts to a motorcycle, depending on how much effort you put into befriending folks with the tech to make what you want), even magical shit (broomsticks or other household items you can enchant, honestly).

[dreamties]

Slashers x S/O in a LDR

A/n- Oh, anon! Same hat! Same hat! I’ve considered making something like this a few times, I was so happy to finally make them!! :D

I’m currently working on stuff for Randy Meeks, Kurt Kunkle, and Lester Sinclair- but if there’s still a character you wanted but don’t see here? Feel free to let me know, and I’d be glad to whip something up for them, as well!

Characters: Billy/Stu and Norman Bates

T/W: mostly fluff with a side of abandonment and mommy issues. and some swearing? (is damn a swear word? I used it a lot)

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher

Word  Count: 992

Y’all met in high school- the three of you practically inseparable. But then college happens- and you would’ve loved to stay with Billy and Stu, but the sort of situation arises where you can’t possibly turn away the opportunity. It would be such a mistake, especially for the line of work you’d like to be in. 

And now you may be thinking, Stu’s family is rich rich, right? Couldn’t they just,, buy they’re way in, so you didn’t have to part? Well...I guess they could? These boys aren’t afraid to take what they want, no matter what that entails- but I feel like there might be a lost sense of pride buying their way in. 

...plus...they may or may have not tried...and the school definitely did not accept that shit.

So with that, the three of you end up at different colleges- well, Billy and Stu are at the same place but...you’re so far away 🥺🥺

You’re still in California- but you’re far enough away that they can’t do one to two day trips to see you. It still hurts so much to be apart from them though- especially since both of these boys are so, hmm how to put it...they’re very affectionate and needy (while that last bit may be more so Stu, Billy still fits the Bill on that one).

You only visit each other on holidays and during the summer- and you always stay much longer for the summer.

When Stu sees you again, the first thing he does is wrap you in the biggest, almost suffocating hug- Billy trailing close behind him, laughing at his antics. He basically holds on to you for the entire ride from the airport back to the house (depending on who’s visiting who- but you’ll often come back to Woodsboro, and stay with Stu). 

They think about you all the time when you’re gone. It’s kind of nuts. They’ve got so many other things going on in their lives- they’re still participating in Ghostface murders, they’ve got college and Real jobs ((Stu doesn’t even need a job, but he likes staying close with Billy and having something to do !! He doesn’t like staying by himself too much :(  )) and even with all that? You still end up worming your way into their brains. Collective brainrot over you lmao /j

You call each other everyday- or every other day if schedules are tight. The good thing is...is y’all are both in Cali !! There are no stupid time zones, y’all don’t gotta worry about that >:( 

They want to make sure they know everything that’s been going on with you- even if it’s some boring class, it’s totally worth it just to hear you talk.

There’s lot of them telling you all the things they want to do to/with you when they finally see you. It’s all about the heavy yearning folks. The ache that you feel when you realize you can’t do that right now. And not for a long time. 

You just want to stay with your boys, cuddled on the couch, watching B-rated slasher films. You want to look them in their pretty, perfect eyes, and let your fears and worries melt away, while you tell them how much you love and missed them. And to finally feel your boys’ hairs through your fingers again.

And the crashing, sudden realization, after they drop you off at the airport- and you have your drawn out, tearful goodbyes...the kind you see in movies- that you won’t see them again. Not like that, at least. And not for months. It was back to counting down the days again. Being thankful for every little moment you had with them- and every call, and every weird text message they sent. Allowing every soft, intimate moment away from each other to guide you back home.

Billy’s not great at dealing with his emotions...especially in positive ways. The relationship can definitely be super hard on him, even if he doesn’t really show it. It brings up a lot of his abandonment issues with his mom :( Having you go off to college is losing part of his support system, and it physically pains him to not see you in Woodsboro. You’re part of his little found family with him and Stu. And when you’re not there? Sometimes it feels like he’s lost you. that you’re not coming back from school, and you’re going to have left for good. Which is not true at all, and he knows that...but god damn is it hard to not listen to that dark, nagging voice sometimes. 

And for Stu? He doesn’t mind as much. He doesn’t share this same trauma involved with it that Billy seems to have. But it still hits him in all the wrong places. He’s more likely to show his true emotions than Billy. And that’s actually really good !! He’s able to properly communicate with you whats going, where he’s at with things. 

It can be kind of exhausting trying to translate Billy’s feelings to you- for all parties involved. Or Billy, who’s learned a certain way to communicate that works, and then having to find a new way that makes sense over text and phone calls. Since you can’t see all his body language, and the way he tenses up when he’s filled with Big Emotions. 

TLDR; dealing w/ emotions is tough, doing it via limited technology is harder :(

and y’all know it’s tough on each other- but like hell you’re not gonna make it work with each other. Y’all are meant to be, even if the relationship is in a bit of an odd spot right now. 

You always have to remind the boys that this is only temporary. just until your 4+ years of schooling is over, and then you can move back to Woodsboro. Then you’ll have all the time in the world to plan your lives together.

Norman Bates 

Word Count: 784 

You meet Norman at his motel. You’re just passing through, on your way to a gathering with some of your family. He’s a little odd, but such a gentleman, that you make a note to stay at his motel on the way back home, as well.

Norman’s completely enamored by you, and you say “I’ll see you soon” that first time, he can nearly feel his heart skip a beat. He’s a smiling, happy little mess about it. You wanted to come back here, for him? He can’t wait for it.

Part of him was worried you wouldn’t come back, and that part of him was very scared- but you were so genuine, he could tell you’d be back. For real.

He still finds himself surprised, when a few days later you’re back there. When you leave, you give him your home phone number and address. Letting him know if he was ever going through your town, and he needed a place to stay that...well...he was always welcome at yours.

Y’all aren’t even dating at this point, but you definitely felt this spark- this connection- when you met. It was unlike anything the two of you had ever felt before. So...your relationship starts off slow. It builds overtime. 

It had been a few weeks since you met- with Norman’s work at the motel and whatever work you do, it was hard to find time between it all- but you’re finally able to start weekly phone calls with each other. Catching up with each other, asking him about the motel, and his hobbies...he’s so thrilled when you talk to him about the taxidermy! Not many folks are very er...into it. So it’s a nice surprise for him that the person he likes...cares about what he likes.

Further into y’all’s relationship, the weekly calls will turn into twice a week and sometimes and slowly, slowly melt into sending letters with each other as much as you can. Every few weeks or so, you’d get the sweet pleasure of seeing Norman’s simple letter in your mailbox. Smiling as you spot your name in his nice, neat handwriting.

Often you’ll include clippings from articles or magazines that reminded you of him, and little photos of yourself, your family (and pets if you have any) and critters, and bugs and shots of nature. He loves the ones you send of birds and trees the most- but he keeps every single one you send him. He has a whole drawer full of your letters.

A while into exchanging letters, the two of you begin signing off every one with an “I love you”. It’s not until you see each other in person again that you fully realize your feelings. I mean, they were always there- but it took the pair of you an impossibly long to speak it out loud- to make it official. 

It had been just under a year since you met- and you’re finally back at the Bates motel. There’s no special reason, you’re not seeing family, per se. But you’re starting something you should have started ages ago. Every part of your being is teeming with nervous excitement- what if you had read the letters all wrong? Every I love you, meant as friends?

You're quick to let him know of your arrival- he’s surprised, he didn’t expect you and you wrap each other in a large hug. You don’t let go for sometime, and when you finally do, you still clutch on to his smooth, slender hands. You lean into him, “I’ve missed you.” He looks at you with soft, shiny eyes, lost in your own. You press a subtle kiss to his lips, and pull away soon after. You feel your face get hot, and you can only imagine that Norman’s face would be bright pink.

He doesn’t say anything at first, simply squeezing your hands. “I did, too,” he smiles. It’s so delicate, and you can’t help but hold his face in your hands- studying every little detail. Of course, he sent you photos of himself from time to time- but it wasn’t the same.

The week that you spend with him is magical. When you leave you already find yourself missing the time you had with him- but you suppose that feeling and the wait to see Norman- was worth it. Plus, you still had the phone calls and all the letters with I Love You in them. Besides, with time, you’d be back at his motel- or he’d finally take you up on your offer, and you could finally spend a sunny morning, lazing around cuddled with each other in your bed, in your town.

[abizarreyodelingincident]

Linked Universe: Our Nightly Confidant 1

Wind From Home

Twilight considers himself a simple man. A farmer at heart, even if he has the hands of a hero. He's grown in a small village, where everyone knows everything about everyone else. Community is a sense that's been cultivated in him as well as pumpkins on a sky island (whatever that saying means).

He loves his brothers and his sort of dad. This quest... he doesn't want to say it's a blessing. It isn't. The monsters threaten many. Their group hasn't always saved everyone. It's no blessing that hurts so many. But he can't help rejoice the opportunity to meet so many heroes. To find his place in the legacy of the Hero of Courage.

As a Hylian from a human village, he's never worried about his place, but he does find peace in belonging to a group with no such innate distance.

He's one of the oldests, weird as that is. Most of the group are like little siblings to him. Weird, insane and irreverent little shits that give him grey hair. No, he's not thinking exclusively about Wild (Wild's a special case). He's attuned to their moods.

Four asked if he had a special sense for this, the second time he'd done it. A 'special' sense, he had insisted in the middle of their training camp, meaning wolf senses. No. Twilight doesn't feel one side of him bleeds into the other. It's not like that.

It's not what makes his eyes trail after Wind today. His youngest brother (barely losing to Colin by a season) is currently laughing his ass off on a tree stump over Warriors tripping on Legend's items. It is denied, not very convincingly, that the items weren't left there on purpose. Little shits, he's telling you.

The truth is more down to earth, the way Twilight likes it. Dogs train themselves to recognize hylian expressions. They know what sadness and joy and anger look like all too well. They know when to cheer their big two-legged friends. And a wolf? Well, a wolf better learn fast the difference between a real smile and a fake if it doesn't want to end up stuck in a bear trap.

***

First watch is always a bit nerve wracking. Unlike second and third watch, Twilight can't just shift into wolf form to sniff out enemies and make sure the whole forest is secure. Links don't fall asleep easily. Legend wakes up at the slightest noise for the first two hours he looks asleep. Time might just stare at the sky the whole night, not getting a wink of sleep. Sometimes, Twilight himself just... can't stop thinking. Wondering where she is now. If she's alright. If Ordon's safe without him. Once in a while, he'll close his eyes and hear Lumi crying, and Uli's quiet steps to shush her.

The other half of the time, it's staying asleep that's the problem. The Goddesses know they all have plenty of material to fuel their nightmares (he's never forgetting Yeta's face, he's resigned to that).

When the moon's path has almost reached its zenith, Twilight hears the first few moans. His heart drops. He hoped. But he's not surprised. Sometimes, the heart can't take the weight of the mask people plaster on.

It starts small. It always does.

For a time, it's mostly sniffles and choked sobs. Then a small 'I'm sorry.' Twilight grimaces. None of them show their scar easily. The deep scars, at least. Wind wouldn't appreciate an audience. Unfortunately, Twilight can't exactly leave. The next best thing however is to try and cut it short.

So, decision made, he creeps around camp, places himself behind Wind and shakes his shoulder. (Carefully. The group collectively learned not to take sleeping Links lightly. At least, Sky had laughed out the black eye with grace.)

“Hey, Sailor,” he whispers, hoping none of the others react. “It's your turn.”

In truth, it's a touch early for that. But he knows he made the right call when Wind rubs his eyes and freezes at the wet feeling on his fingers. He'd been in the middle of turning around, but he immediately fakes a stumble and buries his face in his rolled up blankets instead. It's a good cover to wipe tears without being too obvious.

Twilight would be impressed if that didn't send pangs of worry through his chest. Oh, Wind...

“Mrm,” Wind mumbles. “One minute?”

“Sure, I gotta take a leak anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, piss off.” Wind waves him off from under the blanket.

Twilight smiles to himself. He should ask Wind to direct a play next time they visit his Hyrule. Queen Zelda was always in need of entertainment for the stuffy dignitaries. Jackasses couldn't crack a smile if they were whipped.

That faint irritation pushes him toward the end of the camp line, out of the clearing. Once he's out of sight and hearing range, he grabs onto his cursed necklace and sneaks through the underbrush. His senses make navigating through the twigs and branches child's play, and the lack of any pig-like stench reassures him that there's no malice-infected monster around. In less than a minute, he has circled around the camp and positioned himself the near opposite of where his hylian form left through. Generally, people don't make the association if he leaves a few minutes tick by. Out of sight, out of mind.

It's a bit embarrassing how well that trick works.

Wind's head is turned in the direction he disappeared earlier. Skittish, like a rabbit looking out of its hole. Wind must be waiting for him to return from his manly business, which is a bit of a lost bet at the moment. Seconds tick with only the faint brushing of leaves on his fur and the nightly wind for company. Then, all at once, Wind stands up and stomps his way to the stump Twilight had been using for his turn at the watch.

“Damn it!” Wind curses under his breath. The tears are held at bay, barely. “There's no way he didn't see... calm down, calm down dammit, he's gonna come back soon!”

A small boot kicks off some dirt. Twilight flinches in his hiding spot. That's more anger than expected. He's not sure what to do with that. None of them like vulnerability. None of them are used to being allowed vulnerability. He's worked on Wild and Time for a while now, and he's making progress, even if it's only them opening up to him.

It's that same instinct that pushes him to walk through the bush and reveal himself. He's as non-threatening as a large wolf can be, but Wind still whirls around with his sword drawn. Recognition is a second slower.

“Wolfie!” Wind whisper-yells. “Bad dog! I almost skewered you!”

Twilight raises one eyebrow, unimpressed. He is most certainly not a bad dog, and he is quite experienced at dodging last second hits by flailing, surprised preys. Not that he even thought of Wind as prey, never, but Wind didn't have to imply he'd be that stupid.

“Oi, what are you looking at?” Wind grumbles, dropping back on his tree stump. “Stupid dog...”

Twilight fights the urge to growl. He's here to help, not pick a fight. Unfortunately, his struggle had been obvious, because Wind deflates and sheaths his sword.

“Sorry. It's just... I'd been doing so well so far,” he whispers. “Even if they're big mother cuccos about me sometimes, they still listened to me.”

Twilight feels his tail curl between his legs. He knows he's overprotective. He knows it's annoying Wind, but he can't help it when every other time they fight, he sees Colin rushing into the path of King Bulblin.

“Hey, hey, don't be sad.” Wind cajoles, patting his knee like an invitation.

Twilight's too happy to question the change. He plops his chin on Wind knees and looks up. Small, calloused hands run into his fur.

“Do you have family, Wolfie?”

… What? For a second, he slips out of grasp just to better stare at Wind. Then, he sniffs his breath for a second, and whilst there's a fair amount of onions there (dental hygiene, Sailor!), no traces of booze anywhere. So, he softly woofs, tilting his head to the side.

“Do you have a she-wolf and a litter of little pups that trip all over themselves? I bet you're a good dad, aren't you?”

Twilight can't help the shocked whine that burst out of his throat, nor the flattened ears on top of his head. Him? A dad? He was far too young for that! Being a brother to Wild alone was trouble enough as it was, fatherhood remained firmly beyond his grasp. Besides... it wasn't like he had someone with whom...

“Aww,” Wind cooed, scratching behind his ears, “I didn't want to scare you, Wolfie. I just thought you take good care of us, s'all. I bet you'll be a good dad someday.”

Flattered as he is, he can't help puff and huff into Wind's shirt. He's a noble beast, talked down to like a lap dog. At least, he successfully distracted Wind from what nightmare he had.

Together, they listened to the crackling embers, moving only when the flames needed another log or when a critter stumbled too close to camp (a very curious rat that scampered when it met Twilight's eyes).

“How much did he drink?” Wind mutters, a bit later. “Did he pass out with his breeches down?”

A low growl rumbles into his chest. The disadvantage of others not knowing he's Wolfie is hearing that kind of crap about himself. He's a misunderstood man condemned by the judgemental Links of the world.

“What? Don't like him? Twilight's okay. Most of the time. Like, he saw me cry. I know he did. He knows I know, but he still pretended not to... you know?”

Twilight's best deadpan glare expresses that yes, he knows. More importantly, he puts a paw on Wind's chest, making a small inquisitive noise. Why? Did he need to share it with a very innocent wolf that doesn't judge anyone and anything except Warriors' morning hair?

The fragile grin on Wind's face falters. His eyes dart around. “I... it's not like... You won't laugh, right?”

Twilight nods emphatically.

“It's nothing too bad. I just miss my sister and my grandma.”

Oh, Wind...

“... Please don't tell the others,” Wind said in a tiny voice. “They already have a hard enough time taking me seriously. I don't want them to think I'm being a baby who cries about his family.”

The confusion can't overtake the lance of shame and heartbreak that spears through Twilight's body. Had... had they pushed Wind into this? Made him think that because they hide their tears, they'd laugh at his?! Goddesses... Uli would smack him with her wooden spoon for making a mess like this.

Again.

He might have been a bit overbearing once his quest had ended. Colin had been happy about the attention... the first three days or so. Afterward... well... Uli and Rusl had taken him aside, put their feet down and helped him let go of his dead grip on his little brother's safety. And half the monsters he'd faced had nothing on the challenge of letting Colin make his own mistake. He thought he'd gotten better about this.

But he might have forgotten Wind was not nearly as tolerant or hesitant as Colin.

“I'm a Hero too. I'm strong. Why would I cry over nothing? My grandma and my sister are fine. I bet we'll be portaled in my Hyrule soon and I'll have worried for nothing and Twilight and Warriors will be right to treat me like a fragile little boy again.”

He's not. They all know he's not. He's just... the youngest. The most cheerful, most innocent, most... most well-adjusted of them all, and they want so badly for Wind to keep that. He's a wonderful young man. They're all so proud, so impressed with him.

He's gonna have a few conversations with Warriors and Time tomorrow. Goddesses!

“Hey, Wolfie... I know you don't like being around too long, but... Do you mind staying a bit?”

Twilight chuffs, stubbornly burying his face even deeper in his little brother's shoulder. As if someone would be able to pry him off Wind before morning.

***

“Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?”

Wind looks up sharply, startled but unwilling to admit it. He'd been polishing that long view of his by himself. “What?” he says, and there's an implied 'the fuck?!' in there. Pirates...

Twilight brushes the grass and then sits on the hill, staring past the coast at the red sun. “My father told me that, the day before I left on my quest. Neither of us knew then I'd have a quest soon, of course. But it stuck with me.”

For a long time, Wind's expression shifted between fascination, embarrassment and a bit of confusion. Twilight really needed to teach him how to maintain a poker face before he played cards with Warriors again. Still, there's no rush.

For all that it tears him in half, dusk also has a way to sooth his old aches. It's a peaceful time. A moment when the day dies, when the living settle and close their doors.

“It's the horizon, for me,” Wind admits. “When I... the first time, I'd never ever left my island, and all of a sudden, I had to leave because that huge ass bird had kidnapped my sister. So I had to leave my home for the first time, and I was on Tetra's boat, staring at Outset Island shrinking and shrinking till it was gone. Even when I pulled out my sister's long view, all I could find was the waves of the Great Sea.”

“Ah, a boar and a bulblin got my brother, my childhood friend and a bunch of kids. Knocked me right out with a hit to the head.”

Wind pulled his lips together and narrowed his eyes. “Well... I didn't get hit or anything, but Tetra threw me out of a cannon so I could infiltrate the fortress. Hit my face pretty hard too. That counts?”

“It wasn't a competition!” Twilight laughs, ruffling Wind's hair. It causes a flinch, and that's the light-hearted mood gone. Great. Twilight breathes through his nose. “You know, sometimes, I really want to smack my dad upside the head.”

Wind blinks. “... Okay?”

“Every goshdarn time I see the sun set, I remember him and my mom and my brother and sister, and... home. Every sunset reminds me of home. Makes me miss it so bad. Now I can't help feel that strange sadness every time.”

Silence.

A snort.

“Goddesses damned!” Wind wheezes out through his laugh. “He...”

“Yup,” Twilight says, leaning his chin on his fist. “He didn't think that one through. Bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, ain't it? So, I do want to make him think before he spouts philosophy at me.”

“Hey, hey, Twilight!” Wind says, impish, tugging on his sleeves. Then, the second he has Twilight's attention, he puts on the most serious face he ever wore. “Do you ever feel a strange sadness... as you put on your pants?”

“You little shit,” he says, brimming with affection.

Wind, not to be undone, jumps to his feet. “Do you ever feel a strange sadness... as you drink milk?”

“Oi,” Twilight stands after him, darting right after the brat.

“Not the strange sadness of being chased by a goatherd!”

Two minutes. Two minutes and six variations of the most profound saying his farmer dad told him. Butchered. Butchered like a lame goat in winter. Twilight is both furious and delighted and it might be why, when he does catch Wind, he unleashes the noogie from hell.

Wind's screams, so closely related to that of a dying piglet, are very satisfying. Worth the kicks to the ribs.

And when retribution is served, Twilight shifts the hold into a one-sided hug with the smooth grace of a man who regularly pretends not to be the wolf that is never seen with him. Wind freezes, realization sharp on his face when he notices the tears gathering in Twilight's eyes.

“But the first thing I'd do if I saw him tomorrow... is hug him. Tell him I'm glad he's okay and that I missed him. Then I'd smack him and run for the hills, because Rusl happens to be the only guy in my village that knows how to use a sword.”

After a whole body shudder, Wind gives up and buries himself in his big brother's shoulder.

[fandom-blackhole]

If there are anymore slots open could I be part of the shipping thing?🥺

I don’t care about gender 😉 and I’m gonna say either clone wars or the bucket boys+the armorer ( I think I messed up that spelling😬)

My pronouns are she/they and I’m 20!

I have should length brown hair and those weird hazel-grey-green-amber eyes. I’m 5’3” max and have an athletic/curvy-ish body type. I’m asexual but not aromantic, a Scorpio,and a Slytherin 🐍. My favorite colors are sage green, a dark navy/indigo blue, and soft grey tones. My favorite band is AJR but I lovveee listening to musicals and orchestral music as well as country( true country not that luke bryan type stuff). I’m a very open book and have no trouble collecting friends( I say collecting because I just kinda end up with them?) even though most of them are my complete opposite. I’m in college for civil and environmental engineering, and am really passionate about the environment (ESPECIALLY ANIMALS). And on the topic of animals I have sooo many, besides my service dog (Simba) I have 2 others dogs, a bunch of fish, and am know to be that girl who can pet wild squirrels and carry around wild snakes without getting bit. I also adore children of any age ( but especially younger then 8 cause they are just wild). I’m also a big sports/athletics fan, I play golf for my college but I also love volleyball and baseball as well as track. I also have a stupid amount of random knowledge about everything. My style is a equal mix of athletic clothes and earth tones and but up shirts are about half my wardrobe ( also it’s either long sleeves or no sleeves for me). I also hate wearing shoes but love wearing socks and have the WORST TAN LINES EVER. I’m the mom friend but also the fuck-around-and-find-out friend and am also known to throw pens/pencils at people when they annoy me. People say me theme song is ‘No Body No Crime’ by Taylor Swift. I have very strong opinions and a very strong sense of self, and if you piss me off I will remember it( we don’t forgive and forget in this house we RESENT AND REMEMBER). I am very organized and good at working with others( as long as they don’t step all over me). My mom calls me her little goose ( because I am not a duck that falls into line) but my friends call my little one and occasionally the angriest bumblebee. I also have a tattoo of a turtle, a bee, a fox, and the moon phases. I am also a huge plant person and have at least 12 plants in my dorm room with another 10+ at home. My current favorite plant is a burros tail succulent and my favorite flower is a moon flower. I compost and have no shame picking up dirt/rocks/flowers that look interesting. I also write songs and poetry ( that basically no one gets to see). I love movies of any kind ( some of my favs are The Spy Who Dumped Me, Captain Marvel, and Hamilton). I also love to read and honestly prefer fan-fiction to published works. I also am pretty good at cooking and really enjoy spicy food and chicken ( but I don’t eat beef). Uhhhhhhhhhh that’s kinda all of I can think of rn so i you have any more questions feel free to ask 😂. I’m gonna ship you with Rex because I think y’all would really vibe cause of the whole exasperated parent vibe ( who is totally willing to cause mischief when with the right people) and I could totally see y’all pointedly ignoring whatever chaos the others are causing and focusing on each other😍

Hello and thank you for participating in the ships! Also you did spell armorer correctly if that was what you were worried about! (I often have to go back and fix it when I type it because I usually put an extra -er on the end for some reason lol)

I ship you with Din Djarin!

Just to start I think Din would rally love and fall for you over and over just from watching you interact with Grogu. Seeing the two of you smiling or playing never fails to make him smile softly underneath his helmet. That being said though when he walks out of his ship and sees you just surround in little critters with Grogu in your lap he's not quite sure how to react, because he knows from experience that Grogu and small animals are not something that should be mixed, but watching you introduce the animals and allow him to pet them softly allows him to release the breath he had been holding and go about fixing his ship. Well until he hears you holler at Grogu for picking up a frog and trying to eat it. Din being always on the move never really considered having a pet himself so Din will adore your service dog, though you will have to keep an eye on him because he might try to spoil the dog in a way that service animals aren't supposed to be. Din will make sure to buy you the warmest and comfiest socks for when you all are in space because he notices you walk around without shoes so often. Din also marks me as someone who is disorganized as all hell, he just doesn't have time to keep everything nice, you know, so the fact that you are organized is something he appreciates sooooo much. He also appreciates that you are good at cooking because rations get old quick and he likes that you like spicy food because mandalorians canonically (I am pretty sure) like spicy foods. Din once found a little notebook of yours with your songs and poetry in it and he just melted, lovingly pouring over every word with a smile.

Omg yeeessss, I have chronic older sister syndrome and I am pretty sure Rex has chronic older brother syndrome so this totally works lmao

Also catch us sitting in the mess just making heart eyes at each other as we drink caf and in the background there’s Fives and Hardcase who have somehow caught the kitchen on fire lmao

Thank you for the ship, I love it!

Request a Ship (3/20)

[riderdrauggrim]

Bored at the Hotel Storytime.

So last week when I was at the West Edmonton Mall to see the spectacle of it all, and check out the new Drive! indoor electric multi-level go-kart track, I wandered past a Build-A-Bear. It was only 8:20pm but most of the shops were shuttered closed, including this one.

I knew of Build-A-Bears, but I'd never seen a store in person, so I lingered and peered through the gate at the plush displays inside.

And that's when I saw.

Him.

I'm a sucker for Werewolves, always have been, since the day my dad gave me a Monster In My Pocket trading card he'd found on the ground outside a 7-11 back in '91. It was a little scuffed from being on the ground. But it was beautiful.

(Photo from an Ebay sale)

I remember saving up my holiday money and being taken to Toys 'R' Us on 87 Meadowvale Drive, St. Catharines (still there!). I picked out a pack with a Red Werewolf, because Red was Cool. He was the leader of my assorted monsters and plastic animals.

Look at that poise! That drama!

One thing led to another, in the late 90's and early 20's I collected Werewolf: The Apocalypse RPG sourcebooks. Eventually got damn near every book in my collection. Bought the Glaive. The mug. The hat. The necklace (still wear it). The novels. Chased down Rage CCG cards at comic shops throughout the Golden Horseshoe.

Funded the Kickstarter for the 20th anniversary reprint/master edition, even went in for the limited metal plate cover version.

Still have never played a single game of it.

Lamented at the lack of GOOD werewolf movies. Dog Soldiers (2002) and Van Hellsing (2004) are about the only ones I'll accept stylistically. But I'm just picky.

So back to WEM. There's this little dude. Smiling up at my with his badass 90's skater boy getup. My hyper fixation locked in. I spent the night looking up Build-A-Bear online. Turned out he was last year's special, so these must just be extra shells kicking around.

There was some sort of sale on. Buy one, get one (equal or lesser value) 10$. Shit. How could I not. I found the PERFECT critter for Garwik. The next day, I returned.

I was nervous, at first, was it weird? A grown person getting a custom stuffed animal? And then I overheard another dude sheepishly admitting to the cashier that the one he'd made was for himself. He'd got one for his nephew and liked it so much he wanted one too. Awww.

Okay so, maybe a little weird, but apparently not uncommon.

The cheerful staff member picked up the unstuffed shells I pointed out, and with me manning the air blower and her working the body around, we socially distanced assembled the plushies. In go the hearts. In go the optional smell satchettes (vanilla in the head for my werewolf, bubblegum in the body for Garwik's monkey). Now to go pick accessories.

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

THIS is how they "get you". Sure, I was getting two foot tall plush animals for like 40 bucks total. But the outfits. The outfits.

8 bucks for a hat. 15 bucks for a pant/jacket set. 18 bucks for a Star Wars tie-in outfit. Boots. Things to hold. Glasses. Pants. Shirts. Accessories. Iiiiiii get it now.

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

So while I'm Hrmming and Hawwwwing about what top looks cool, a gaggle of young adults stumble past in the concourse.

"Build-A-Bear!" one of them exclaims loudly, slowing down. The other pause. A mixed gender group, I didn't take a headcount but about three guys and three gals. Mid-20's at the most.

"Lookit all the stuffed animals!" someone else says. At first they're making fun of it, but within seconds someone declares "We should all get one!" This idea is an immediate success. "Yah!" "We should!" "Let's all get one!" "Can we come in? Do we have time?"

It was 20 minutes to closing but the worker gamely let the young people past the social distancing barrier, and they swarmed the unstuffed body display, pointing out which ones they were going to get. She scooped up the decisions, moving the whole pack over to the stuffing blower, and had them operate the air as she filled their choices. The scent options ramped up the group's already palpable excitement.

As she offered the first plushie to the owner for a squish test, and then flipped it around for the heart insertion, a decision was made. "No, we're gonna put the hearts in all at the same time!" This might have surprised the employee, but she laughed and went along with it. Several nearly completed bodies later, she had them each choose a heart and instructed them each to hug it. And then. Rub it on their hearts. And then rub it on their heads! Now rub it on their toes!

I'm cashing out while all this was going on behind me. It was complete goofery. The enthusiasm of the worker was the same cheerful joyous supportive silliness as a camp counselor leading a group of six year olds in a game. And these young men and women were LOVING it. They did every ridiculous maneuver they were instructed, laughing at the 'childishness' of it all, but not a one complaining, or calling it stupid.

I don't know why, but that incident made me unbelievably happy.

I think, too often, people are so stressed to 'grow up' and 'act your age', that they forget how much fun it can be to just. Enjoy silly things. To spin in a circle and rub a cloth heart on your tummy. To buy a stuffed animal with your best friends.

I wish them all the best.

[zoofles]

Can you give a little background on Chronos squad like who they are and how they all met and how they act towards eachother?

Oh!! Heck yeah i can!! :DI’ll just say names and then descriptions. There’s gonna be a lot ;; but i’ll try make each as short as possibleHickory Dickory and Doc: All made by Chrono as an experiment on ‘making life’ and ‘soul splitting’ which came out positive. They’re called the Stacking Clock and treat each other as best friends. Doc is the leader and can be quite rude (sexist too) but comedic and sometimes the most vulgar and dirty of the clique; so he gets along with most (although Hickory doesn’t like him too much), Hickory is quite quiet and doesn’t clash with anyone but isn’t extremely close with anyone either but always has smart comments, Dickory is a sweetheart and loves to hang around Doc the most, but he also enjoys Chrono’s company a lot. Doc and Chrono’s relationship is a bit….funky….but Doc really REALLY doesn’t like Ronso, he thinks he’s an asshole, so they’re always mutually fighting and trying to outplay each other.Gremory: He’s the third Librarian and was one of the first to join, he was met by Chrono when he was quite young, around 19 years old. Everyone loves him, because he’s so funny and idiotic; although they find him very stupid and a little too sexual/whoreish sometimes (as seen in the animatic). Chrono finds his behaviour quite annoying and vulgar, so he’s not too much of fan, but he’s such a genius that he lets it slide most times. He’s twins with Sabanoc but a brother to Malua. He’s the only Rialaen in the group, so Rialan descent but Omniaen born. Has the hots for Tob. Ronso: He’s called the Sign Keeper and is Chrono’s servant. He met Chrono when he fulfilled a prophecy, he was 25-ish in physical appearance. He’s an absolute grouch and grump and very easy to put off/aggravate, so most either keep their distance or on purposely annoy him; especially Gremory. He crushes on Chrono quite a lot but also hates him when he sends him on long aching errands. He’s very intelligent but has a deadly curiosity which evidently kills him in the end. He hates basically everyone.Rho’dni: He’s a very simple man, just a psychologist with a broken heart who has a hobby of collecting small critters. He met Chrono in the bridge between the first war and second, when Chrono was breaking down and needed help. Chrono was just walking the streets of Ustrania when he has a sudden surge of sadness, he looked for something to help himself and came upon a psychologist’s office; which is how he met Rho’dni by chance. He continued seeing Chrono for sessions and got sucked into his personal business when the second war slid into view. This is how he met the rest of the group. Everyone loves him tbh, like he does nothing worth hating? He’s so gentle and kind, he couldn’t hurt a soul. He has two missing fingers and two burnt hands which make it hard to write. He also loves being social with the whole group, but gets embarrassed by their antics sometimes, especially when they get overly sexual. Honestly he’s just mortal and got DRAGGED into gods’ business when he least expected it, so he’s very weak and everyone tries to be very supportive of him when he does something not really that great considering everyone else is an amazing Enna bender, second tier or even a GOD. Rendann: He’s a long story, but he’s a criminal/pirate and so much more. He met Chrono during the FIRST war when he had war information that Chrono needed. He disappeared for a while to go out to sea and then was returned via the second war to join the Clique. He’s very relaxed but clashes with Chrono the most. His best friend is probably Gremory, he’s one of the only people who can make Ren laugh. He’s one of the only Ourvanics in the group, his ears were snipped to look pointy and hi freckles were taken away, his hair was also cut by Chrono and cannot grow back.Sabanoc: Shares the title of 3rd Librarian with Gremory seeing as they share a heart. Gremory’s twin brother (he’s the evil twin wink wink) and very secluded from the group; like the emo friend that never talks and the only input he has is always depressing or quite sociopathic and worries the clique. Most of the Clique ignore him because socialising with him is a real pain and chore.Tob: Chrono and Rakaan’s son, King of the main city in Omniae and legally married to Pilvi. Extremely innocent and has no idea what anything sexual is. Met the clique when he was BORN; jk they kept him secret for a while actually. He gets along well with everyone, but doesn’t get most of the jokes they all spit out. He likes to tag along with Rho’dni, Dickory and Gremory the most. Half Omniaen half Ourvanic :O Rare rare case of brown skin and icy blue eyes.The Train Master: Very rarely joins them as he’s so busy. He’s what his name is; the train master. He’s the one who invented and now controls the train that takes you to and from Riala, Omniae and Ourvania :0 since they’re separated by space. The train is long af and can hold millions of people. The train can also be taken to the after life/beyond the edges of Ourvania or Riala. It’s quite confusing. He’s very mature and never speaks but was BEST FRIENDS with Chrono. He almost never speaks but uses train speak (hand movements) and his whistle. Malua: Sabanoc and Gremory’s sister. She’s very suave and smooth and tired/sleazy looking, but very mature and reserved. She can be flirty though. She met the Clique via her brothers since she’s like their mum and mothers them a lot and has to know what they’re up to since she knows how they can be and doesn’t want them disrespecting a God. It’s like a special treat when she appears, the Clique all love her and find her company very amusing :ORakaan: An ancient Ourvanic spirit, his beast name is Baugaan. He met Chrono in the second war and attacked him when he entered into his lands, but they formed a peace treaty soon after. Married to Chrono rn, father of Tob and r  e l a  t  e d to Rendann. Everyone’s just getting used to him but they see him as a very mature and fatherly person. They don’t see him as young or lively at all, kinda like an old man dad. A bit different to Chrono. They also didn’t believe he was Chrono’s husband at ALL for the first few months, they thought it was Chrono getting back at them for calling them ‘In love’ for the past 6 years. He’s social with everyone as well.Phenex/Aim: A famous and professional assassin/shooter. Was apart of the clique but turned on them in the sequel along with Sabanoc and Tob. He was also very mature and old and wanted to just do his job w/o all the riff-raff and joking around. But even when they were enemies, the Clique still mucked around with him and he was all ‘>:1′ the whole time. Ink, Quill and Parchment: All were once people that were cursed and were brought back to ‘life’ by Chrono who then in turn made them second tier gods (same level as Ronso). They can all transform into their heart forms and are the only being who are conscious as their heart forms, that being an Ink pot, a Quill and a Parchment (he’s actually a book but we don’t say that here) and all are used by Chrono. So they’re his ink, quill and parchment. Valia: Chrono’s owl who can talk, made via soul splitting. She’s very intelligent but very snarky and irritable. Caters to the Clique and mostly to Chrono.Chrono: Ahhh Chrono…God of Time and Equilibrium…married to Rakaan and father of Tob. Leader of the clique. Angry. Gay. Depressed, stressed but very well dressed. I don’t have to say much about him. :OI hope that’s good! :D Thank you sm for asking and sorry it’s long ;o;

[thistlepath]

stuff about Aggy

this is for that meme i rebloged a bit ago, i was asked to answer “all of them” for a character of my choice. this is gonna be kinda long.

What is your OC’s favorite color?

Dark purple :3

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

No, he’s not very materialistic and hasn’t had much of a chance to collect anything anyway.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to?

As a Carlec he’s automatically incapable of eating plants or dairy without getting really, really sick if that counts.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

Basically pink pygamas and a cape, that’s just how Carlec dress.

What is your OC’s first memory?

A vague memory of some kid being annoying and him scratching their face way back when he was about 7 or 8.

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

Favorite: their version of turtles, he thinks they’re cute and they like to eat his /least/ favorite animals.

Least favorite: it’s a tie between a type of fish that enjoys trying to eat kids that fall into rivers and a type of beetle that enjoys trying to eat dead, dying, and/or injured unconscious critters and people.

What element would your OC be?

Fire, i think. He can be destructive and horrifying, but also helpful and fun :D

What is your OC’s theme song?

Hmm… there are a lot of them XD

maybe i’ll post a list later.

Do you have a voiceclaim for your OC?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5m_W31hDeU

He’s jeremy.

What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

Wrath. Definitely wrath.

What are your OC’s hobbies?

He likes to make dye, dance, and rip the legs off of beetles :3

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

That depends, most of the time he’s /incredibly/ hot-headed, like murderer levels of hot-headed, but if he really, /really/ likes you he’s incredibly patient and understanding.

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

male. weird Carlec sexuality that most resembles a combo of bisexuality/pollyamory (i don’t know all the different sexualities and such, if there’s a name for that i’d be happy to hear it) but is basically the Carlec version of being straight. mountain/marsh Carlec :3

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

He likes to eat beetles and large, winged insects. If you only count food he can eat safely, his least favorite food is turtle. They’re too cute to eat and he doesn’t like breaking their shells.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?

Probably a turtle, though an Alvean bird would also be pretty cool!

What does your OC smell like?

At the very beginning of the story: dried blood, mildew, and an odd acidic smell that builds up on Carlec when they’re unhealthy.

After a while of being outside and a nice change of clothes: dead leaves, dirt, and just a hint of blood.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

Currently he doesn’t, he’s working to get his /freedom/ back, he isn’t getting paid. He wants to be a dye-maker like his mom once all of this is over, it’s been his goal since he was little. He /really/ doesn’t want anything to do with mining, he’s spent long enough trapped without sunlight and warmth, thank you very much. He also doesn’t want to be a hunter.

His current job is basically escorting an idiot and an old lady from point A to point B without them getting murdered, it’s fun when he gets to threaten people or fight wolves, but it’s mostly just walking around (at first.)

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

Hmm. the Carlec have this idea where you basically have to /earn/ having a soul, and doing stuff that makes their deity upset with them starts to slowly destroy their soul. Murder is one of the things that makes her angry, and he keeps getting put in situations where he basically /has/ to kill people. He’s terrified that by the time he dies he’ll be so far gone that he’ll just disappear. It doesn’t help that he’s almost entirely sure that if he /doesn’t/ fade away he’ll end up as some kind of ghost.

He also has a fear of deep, fast water :3

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

Carlec music is nothing like any human music i’ve ever heard, so it’s a bit hard to pick out different styles and such. He likes happy music being sung by groups, which sounds a bit like if you crossed a choir, a barbershop quartet, a bunch of purring, mewling cats, and a bunch of little birds together and had them sing pop songs.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

He’d be absolutely terrified. Our world is incredibly foreign to him and i seriously doubt people would have a very positive reaction to him. Plus, unless he ended up somewhere really warm and humid he’d likely get sick pretty quickly. He’d find some place to hide and then stay there, to scared to come out for anything but food.

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

Well. he just got out of prison and now has to babysit an insensitive, ignorant Alvean and a grumpy old lady, he’s convinced that he’s missing a chunk of his soul, his dad died while he was away and he didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, he’s constantly anxious and lashes out at people violently when startled, he feels incredibly uncomfortable in the center of attention but also feels like he has to be the most intimidating, loud person in a room to feel safe… the list just goes on.

He really doesn’t like being interrupted or asked stupid questions.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

If the teacher was nice he’d be incredibly respectful and work very hard to do well. if they were a jerk (or he saw them as one) he’d be a rebellious little monster, seeming to do everything in his power to either get them fired or get himself kicked out of the class.

What is a random fact about your OC?

He wears his cape over his right shoulder to hide the lack of spines on his upper arm. He’s asymmetrical, something that isn’t too uncommon when Mountain and Marsh Carlec mix, but that’s still incredibly uncommon in the general population. He was teased for it as a kid and is still insecure about it.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

He tries to be optimistic, but a life of bad luck and being treated like garbage has kinda made that hard.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

I was bored one day and ended up coming up with a scene of a token-evil teammate finding out their mom was super sick and trying to hide their panic and sadness from their team because their merciless, sadistic reputation needs to be upheld, dang it! And i wanted to draw it. I used a random generator to get the basic idea of what the Carlec look like (slender, delicate build..same height as the average human..reddish/grayish brown skin..muted black hair..very large ears..giraffe-like spots on arms and legs..large, brown/red eyes..colorful, modest clothing.) and made a ton of potential designs for him before eventually settling on one that’s very similar to how he looks now, just with smaller ears, more spots, slightly different hair, and a slightly different face shape. I never ended up drawing that scene, but i decided to keep him anyway. His personality started out as a manipulative, sadistic, just about irredeemable monster with the redeeming qualities of “he loves his parents” and “he /eventually/ cares about his teammates.”

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?

His mom. After the events that caused his issues she was the only person who really stuck with him. His village decided he was possessed and thus dangerous, his dad disapproved very vocally of his decision to become a maker instead of continuing his training as a hunter, and his best friend/fiancée eventually betrayed him. His mom never stopped supporting him and believing that he could get better.

Hmm. Aggy’s weird in that once he cares about you he /doesn’t stop caring/ no matter what you do, so i don’t know if his friend can be counted here? If so, then definitely her. She was one of two actually good things in his life, then she had him sent to a human prison for murdering a pair of assassins. That place was absolutely /horrible/ and it was probably the worst thing that could’ve been done for his mental health.

If she doesn’t count, then probably the first prisoner he ended up killing while in prison. That idiot trying to kill him is what set him firmly on the path towards what he is today, if that hadn’t happened the queen probably would have had him released years ago.

What kind of childhood did your character have?

A not very nice one. Way too much being treated like some kind of monster, too much of his parents arguing about him, too many former friends avoiding him, too many injuries, and nowhere near enough support, love and guidance.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

When he’s nervous he tends to swish his tail back and forth like an angry cat, and also often bites and chews on things when they’re available.

If those count, then i suppose so? I don’t know a whole lot about the subject.

Not at the moment, but he used to have a bit of one to this special drink the Carlec have at parties. It makes people more energetic and cheerful, then incredibly tired as soon as it wears off. The Carlec have a lot of parties, so most have at least a bit of an addiction to the stuff.

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

Hmm. he’d just have somebody else chose it if he could, but if he absolutely had to choose it’d be something along the lines of “i promise i won’t haunt you guys. Probably. I’ll have to think about it.”

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

No. he’s pretty much done with romance after what happened with his Ex. there’s a chance that someone could change his mind with enough time, but it’s gonna be difficult.

He’s not sure about having kids, but he doesn’t think there’s much chance of it anyway if he never gets married.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

Most traumatic memory: his entire village turning on him and his best friend in the whole world not only not defending him, but making sure he gets punished even more harshly than he would’ve otherwise.

Favorite memory: this one’s more vague, it’s stuff that happened almost every day and kinda blurred together, but it was all equally amazing as far as he’s concerned. Waking up every morning, warm and safe in his comfortable, cozy home. Spending several hours making dye with his mother and laughing with her about how it had somehow gotten all over their hands and faces while his dad went out hunting. All the little things that he had to go without for so long.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

Freedom, of course.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?

Hahahahahahahaha

Aggy’s got this thing, it happens sometimes to Carlec who’ve been through something traumatic, where he’s constantly on edge and automatically reacts to perceived threats with violence. It’s incredibly difficult to keep under control, and even when it is it often just builds up until they eventually snap and get even more violent than they would have otherwise. In serious cases the Carlec will seem more like a feral animal than a person, luckily Aggy doesn’t have it that bad but if things continue the way they have he’s gonna get there within a few years.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

He used to love helping with the music for parties, he’d play bells and sing.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

His imagination is a bit caught up with imagining horrible situations he could end up in, potential escape routes for every room he enters, and stupid nicknames for everyone he meets.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

To go home and be happy. That’s his main goal at all times, ‘make sure this goes well so i can go home’, ‘save [insert person here] so i can redeem myself so i can be happy’ etc.

He needs to hurt critters and fight people and kill things. He gets super anxious all the time, and that’s the one thing he’s found that helps him calm down.

He’s willing to do a whole lot of things. He won’t hurt anyone he cares about, and he’d prefer not to die, but other than that he’s pretty much gonna do anything to get what he wants.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

Well.

He eats his food raw. He kills people. He torments small creatures. There’s a lot of stuff he does that most people wouldn’t.

What would your character do with a million dollars?

Use it to try to free one of his old prison-friends and then give him whatever’s left. Carlec don’t really use money.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

He’s currently homeless and has no possessions other than the clothes on his back and a knife.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

Well, if he’s free to have a night out in the first place he’s probably home, so most likely some kind of party, his party outfit, and either his team or his parents. He doesn’t have many friends :D

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

Attack things. Make things hurt. Cause whatever pain he can in whatever made him angry. It makes him feel somewhat better.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?

Not really, it’s hard to scratch a Carlec through their scales, and it takes a lot of damage for an injury to show through them after it’s healed. If he were human he’d have scars all over from fights, running through dense forest, falling in a river and nearly dying as a kid, etc.

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

Oh, that’s hard. Aggy loves to offend people, it’s one of his favorite hobbies.

How does your character react/ accept criticism?

That depends on both what’s being criticized and how the criticism is given. It could be anything from quickly accepting it and asking for advice to /literally/ killing you.

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

Well. almost literally /nothing/ on pineapple pizza is edible for him, so he’d react pretty badly. Whatever this ‘something bad’ is has to be pretty bad. He’d eat it, but would clearly hate every second of it and would get really, really sick afterwards.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

He would immediately believe it was real and quickly hide it in the safest place he can possibly find.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

Not really, he could probably make little stick-figures, but that’s about it.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

Evr, Aggy’s mom, was very loving, supportive and comforting, she was his mentor and primary source of advice, help and positive social interaction.

Kven, his dad, started out the same. Unfortunately Aggy becoming ‘possessed,’ deciding to be a Maker despite clearly being a natural Hunter (that’s a huge deal to a lot of Carlec), and losing his cheerful, friendly attitude kinda messed up their relationship. He was usually either angry at him or ignoring him.

He doesn’t know Rili or Tin very well, they married his mom about two years after he was kicked out.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

The closest thing to candy the Carlec have is this super sweet nectar that they make into drinks or soak meat in, and it’s literally made to give anybody/anything that drinks it a sugar rush. When Aggy drinks it he gets even more jumpy than usual, but also super giggly so it seems like he’s having fun?

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

He’d be horrified and depressed, this means that he won’t get his chance at redemption or see his family again. He’d do everything he could to both prevent/delay his death and get home as soon as possible, desperate to see Evr again and at least say goodbye.

[mzargentum]

Marshmallow 💕

Prompto’s Birthday! SO LATE, but Tumblr kept eating it.

PromptoXOC

Word Count: 4,703

Warning: Fluff, slight NSFW (not really).

OC’s: Muerlinian Zephyr and Six Ulric (created by @insomniasix)

No.

Not this couldn’t be…this couldn’t be happening. How could this happen? Of all days. How could…something go so wrong? So…so horribly wrong?

This must be some sort of nightmare. Some sort of cruel hallucination. Some sort of daemonic entity must have been playing horrible mind tricks with her. Toying with her brain. Driving her into hysteria as she stood in the doorway of the bedroom. Placing her sweat covered palm against her chest to feel for a pulse for she wasn’t sure if she was still breathing. Her eardrums pounded in her skull to the sharp echos of her heart as it hammered against her chest.

None of it was real. None of it could be. She wouldn’t believe it. No. She refused! Everything was fine! …she should’ve listened, but she was too stubborn, too stupid, too prideful and now….she was going to pay the price.

When it all began, it was the best day ever. The sun settled in the morning skies of Lucis. The blue jays chased the sparrows through the wind with a gentle song on their beaks. Cars buzzed by as people of all kinds rushed to classes, meetings, and brunches they were probably already late to, but nobody really cared. Nobody was really bothered.

Why would they be? After all, it was Wednesday and everyone loves Wednesday. The median between I’m about to choke someone and I’m about to get wasted in a bar and fuck a stranger. Where people are chill…and still give a shit. The fork in the road separating chaos and chaos….and it couldn’t be more perfect. Especially for one cheery young lady with glistening silver hair bobbing her way down the mellow streets of Lucis getting ready to give someone a Wednesday he’ll forget.

*ring ring*

“Agh, bugger”, Muerlin groaned at the sound of her cellphone. She was carrying a semi-large crate, and due to not only the size of the wooden container, but also the fragile cargo stored within it’s confinements, that required both of her hands and maximum diligence. 

As the vibrating in Muerlin’s pocket started to tickle her thigh, she cautiously hurried to an outside table near a small cafe to place the box onto so she could fish out her cellular.

“Hello?”, she answered as she finally located the device.

“Goodmornin’, Little Muermaid. How’s land treatin’ ya?”, Six Ulric, Muerlin’s best friend, greeted in cutesy tease.

“Well, my feet hurt”, she playfully whined to get on her friend’s nerves which worked given her immediate reply of “wuss” followed by an eye roll.

“Wow, I can see why you and Gladio are together”, Muerlin teased. “Yeah, yeah”, Six replied with a chuckle. “Hey, quick question though. Does Prommie like ice cream in or on his cake?”, she asked collecting ingredients from the numerous cupboards and the pantry, organizing them on her counter top. 

“Both”.

“Okay, and what flavors should I use?”, the glaive asks as she opens the freezer examining the plethora of tubs of various ice cream flavors.  

“Well, that depends on the combination and what exactly you’re putting in or on”.

Six’s face scrunches in confusion. “……what?”

“Okay”, Muerlin begins to explain taking a seat in one of the chairs by the table, “how many flavors are you going to use? 2, 3, 4? You have to pick flavor combinations that make sense with not just the ones you put INSIDE the cake, but also what you put ON the cake because if you mix two or more flavors that don’t go together IN the cake, then that’s a setback, yes, but you could compensate for the ice cream ON the cake”, she rambles on as Six just blankly stares into the contents of her freezer. “BUT if the wrong flavor combination ON TOP of the cake as well as IN the cake, then the WHOLE cake is rubbish and you can’t-”.

“Okay”, Six cut off her friend waving her hand in the air, “I…got it. Don’t make a shitty cake. Did you buy the camera set yet?”

“Ermmmmm….”, Muerlin audibly sighed scrunching up her nose in apprehension. Six halted wide eyed at her friend’s noise. “Muerlin…did you?” Muerlin curled in her seat a bit as she averted her gaze to the crate beside her. “Not exactly….”, she vaguely confessed. “Muerlin”. The frustration in Six’s voice rising. “Y’know…it’s possible”. “Muerlin!” “T-THAT I….mmmmay have…gone with…the a..alternative”.

“AWWWW, MUERLIN!”, Six shouted over the phone in annoyance startling the silver haired woman. “Aghh, Gods”, Muerlin winced at the sharp pain in her ear. “What?! Every household deserves a pet”. “Yeah, but a CHOCOBO?!”, Six angrily whispered as to not alert the sleeping giant in the next room.

Muerlin was from the kingdom of Willownoire which is known for it’s vibrant wilderness, immunity to natural disasters, but mostly for it’s wildlife. Every creature and critter that walked upon Willownoire’s rich soul was the purist of its species, and was also granted immortality and within that dusty, rugged ol’ crate was a shimmery pearl egg harboring the purist, fairest and most authentic white chocobo in all of Eos. 

Sure, her goofy photographer boyfriend would’ve loved a fancy new camera that would surely get replace with a newer and fancier camera in a few years. Honestly, he’d probably cry sweet tears of joy. 

But a CHOCOBO? 

Nay, the purist chocobo currently in existence…and THEY, together, be the very first souls it lays its precious little beads upon…and then they, TOGETHER, gain all of its love and trust?

He’d swoon.

“What’s the big deal?”, Muerlin retorts at Six’s protests, “It’s a cute fluffy bird”. “Okay, it’s a GIANT bird that is generally wild and is a gigantic responsibility”, Six explained.

“I have a pet behemoth at home!”

“An IMMORTAL and TRAINED behemoth that is really just a giant lovable guard dog. Also….she’s a behemoth. They can usually take care of themselves”.

Six had a point. Friday didn’t really need anyone, but Muerlin was determined to make her blonde beau’s day. She crossed her legs in the chair and folded her free arm. “You have no faith in me! Absolutely no faith!”

Aw, damn, here we go. Six rolled her eyes and slumped over the counter top. “That’s not it. Of course, I have faith in you”.

“Did you read the best friend contract before you signed it because it promptly states that you’re supposed to have faith in my shenanigans and tell me I’m awesome”, Muerlin playfully spouted in a slight whine.

The glaive smirked.  “It also says that I’m to intervene when I feel like you’re going a little overboard”.

“I know, I know, but this time I’m not, okay?”, Muerlin responded with sincerity.

“You’re 100% sure?”

“Six, trust me, everything’s gonna be fine”.

Remembering those words made Muerlin want to kick herself as she stared at the small nest sitting in the now open crate, covered in pearly eggshell shards. Reluctantly, she lifted her phone to her ear as the dial tone rung out through the speaker.  She hated this moment. Why didn’t she just listen? Why didn’t she just get that damn camera set like Six said? She pinky promised. The pinky promise is sacred! She broke a sacred oath! For what? LOVE? To give Prompto the best birthday he ever had?! WELL, LOOK HOW WELL THAT TURNED OUT.

“Yyyyo”, Six answered a short time later.

“Hey, um….so remember when you said, uh….that I go overboard sometimes and…when I said everything would be fine?”

“Yeaaah?”

“Well….everything’s not fine”, Muerlin screeched in slight panic.

There was a pause. Six blinked with her hand against her temple. Her voice returning to that low monotone.

“……you lost the chocobo, didn’t you?”

“….yes”.

A half hour had passed and Muerlin couldn’t find that little walking cotton ball for the life of her, sending her panic through the roof.

“Still haven’t found it?”, Six still on the phone with her hysterical friend. “Noooooo!!! What am I gonna do?!”

“I’m sure you’ll-”

“What if it gets out?! It’s dangerous out there for a little chocobo!!”, Muerlin screeched beginning to panic.

“Okay, Muery, I don’t think-”.

“What if it gets hurt?! I may have just extincted the purist chocobo species in Eos!!!”, the agitated woman flailed.

“Ooooookay, I think you’re overreacting just a little bi-”.

“What would Prompto think?! ‘My girlfriend got the most perfect chocobo crushed by a car somewhere!!’ I’M SO DUMPED!!!!!!”, her breath hinged, “I can’t breathe....I CAN’T BREATHE!!!”

“MUERLIN!”

“WHAT?!”

“He’s not gonna dump you. It’s a little chocochick. It wouldn’t be able to get out of the apartment by itself even if it tried”, Six calmly reassured her friend as she continued mixing the cake batter.

Muerlin sighed, trying to catch her composure. “Yeah...yeah, yeah, you’re right”.

“There we go, deep breaths”. Six smirked at her friend’s panic. Her Prompto was showing and not in the good way. “When’s lover boy supposed to be home?”

“He called earlier and said he’d be home in an hour. That was 45 minutes ago”, the silver haired woman answered as she nervously nibbled her knuckle.

“Leaves us plenty of time”, Six tried to reassure her friend. “Now, listen carefully....”. Six paused suddenly, disturbing her panicked friend. “Do you have any lettuce?”

“...Wwwhy?”

“Just trust me. You got any?”

“Um...I-I think so”, Muerlin stuttered as she shuffled toward the fridge, scanning its contents. “Now what?”, Muerlin questioned her friend upon grabbing the veggie.

“Well, where have you already looked?”

“The living room, the kitchen and the bedroom”, Muerlin answered Six as she curiously eyeballed the frosty veggie in her hand.

“Okay, so that leaves the studio, the spare bathroom and the laundry room”.

Muerlin sighed as she averted her gaze to the other rooms. “Yeah”, she replied in slight frustration, “and Prom practically lives in one of them”.

“Don’t worry, just shut the doors and keep him busy”, Six delightfully explained. “Once the rest of us get there, Prompto will be distracted by the guys and we can go chocobo hunting. Easy”.

 “Okay...but what’s with the salad ball?”

“It’s a chocobo, Muerlin”, Six replied with a chuckle, “it’s gotta eat”.

“Huh”, Muerlin raised an eyebrow as she retreated to follow her friend’s instructions, “no wonder you’re a glaive”.

“Psh, oh yeah. All that serving the Lucian Empire is just a ruse to assist my stubborn best friend when she doesn’t listen to my advice”, Six sarcastically teased her the silver haired woman reminding her that this was still her fault.

“Okay, okay, point proven”. Muerlin lightly rolled her eyes at Six’s remark. “Now, ya gonna tell me how I’m supposed to keep Prompto bus for 4 hours?”

“Pfft! I don’t know! You’re the wizard”, Six retorted. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?!”, Muerlin screeched, “THIS WAS YOUR IDEA AND PROM’S GONNA BE HOME ANY MINUTE”.

“Like I said, YOU’RE the wizard”.

“Well, it’s not like I have a magic pussy or something!”, Muerlin spatted. Six giggled at her friend’s statement. “Well, remember, it is his birthday, isn’t it?”

“Hmm, you’re not wrong”, Muerlin replied, a mischievous grin stretching across her face. “And you like ridin’ chocobos, don’t ya?”

“Aaaall day”.

Suddenly, a gust of wind whistled through her ears as the front door swung open. A familiar voice, cheerful an bubbly echoed through the room.

“Babe, I’m home!”, Prompto sang as he shut the door behind him. “Ya here?”

“Speak of the devil”, Six chuckled upon Prompto’s entry. “I’ll call you later”, Muerlin whispered.

Six rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure ya will, honey”, she teased before hanging up.

A few moments later, as Prompto put his stuff down, he assumed he was home alone given his unanswered greeting. “Hm...guess she had something better to do...”, he sighed in a slight pout before retreating to his room.

As he approached, the sound of running water took over his sense. Steam floated from the bathroom upon the floors. “Uh...M-Muerlin?”, the blonde nervously called as he proceeded toward the open bathroom door.

His freckled cheeks flushed once his vision cleared beyond the steam as he gazed upon the bare back of his beloved Muerlin, the water droplets twinkling like stars upon her flesh. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. As she slowly turned to face her cherry faced chocobo, his heart began to sweat. She smiled fiendishly, his legs started to shake. 

“Hey, stranger”, she sensually hissed. “You gonna come in here and let me wish you a Happy Birthday?” “Abso-fucking-lutely”, the blonde hurriedly stripped nearly tripping over his pants as he bolted toward the shower. Shutting the glass door behind him before Muerlin’s thin bronze arms wrapped around his neck, gazing into his loving stare.

Damn...how could eyes be so blue.

Wrapping his thick arms around her, Prompto pulled her against his bare torso. “So, Madame Zephyr”, the blonde smirked, “something you wish to tell me, is there?” Muerlin giggled at her chocobo doofus. “Happy Birthday, my little sunshine boy”, she smiled before perching up on her tip toes planting a passionate kiss to his pink cat lips.

The two hadn’t been together that long and this is the first time he’s ever seen her naked. Despite the fact she tried to suave, she was probably sweating more than he was and not just because of the hot water, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Although, pretty sure this time she didn’t mind.

4 and a half hours later...

“Are you sure they knew we were coming?”, the behemoth Shield asked his glaive girlfriend as their party, also consisting of the Crown Prince and his dapper royal adviser, receiving a sigh and an eye roll. “I texted her”. 

“Perhaps, she’s making last minute preparations”, Ignis begrudgingly interjected as he pushed his glasses further upon the bridge of his nose. “Or Promp’s fallen asleep”, Noct nonchalantly chuckled as his razor sharp focus was fixed on King’s Knight. “Not bloody likely”, Six quietly mumbled imitating Muerlin’s accent as Gladio stifled a chuckle.

Muerlin, attempting to stay quiet, opened the door making a shush gesture with her finger against her lips as she waved them inside. They quickly assorted the food, beverages and presents. “You’d call me, tch...right”, Six teased her friend in a whisper. “Oh, shush, it was your idea”, Muerlin replied with an eye roll.

“So where’s the birthday boy?”, Gladio asked with a light smirk. “In the bedroom. I told him to dress nicely. I hope he didn’t put on his suit...”. “Didn’t even though he owned a suit”, Gladio chuckled.

“Noct”, Ignis addressed the distracted Prince, “would you assist me in sorting the table?” “Just put ‘em on the table”, Noct groaned. “Noct, please, they need to be arranged around the cake in an orderly fashion”. The raven haired prince slumped in his seat. “The refreshments in front, with appetizers on the left, entrees to the right with silverware and saucers for dessert in back”. Noct sluggishly assisted the nagging adviser for a few moments before being shooed away due to his inefficiency.

As the boys continue their banter, Six lightly pulls Muerlin to the side. “Any of the doors been opened?” “Nope”. “Prompto’s completely oblivious?” “Yep”. Six smirks at the silver haired girl, noticing the triumphant look on her face. “Well, done, Little Muermaid”. Muerlin giggles at the glaive’s compliment.

“Alright, everything seems to be in order. Shall we proceed?”, Ignis asked the party with a smile.

“Sounds good”, Six replied with an affirming nod. “Noct”, Ignis gestured to the lights, “if you would please”. “Don’t mind if I do”.

A few moments later, Prompto emerges from the bedroom. “Muerlin, does this look alri-”, he paused once he realized all the lights were off. “Uh...babe?”, he called out in the silent room before cautiously making his way into the void to find the light switch. “C’mooon”, he quietly groaned, “where is it?”

Growing impatient with his best friend’s inability to find the light switch, Noct abruptly flicked the lights on, causing everyone to shout “SURPRISE!!!!” and the girlish squeal that left the freckled plebe’s throat sent the party into a tizzy of hearty laughter. “WHAT? WHERE? WHO?”, Prompto panted with his hand over his heart, his eyes darting to everyone in the room before landing on Muerlin. “WHEN DID-”.

“About 10 minutes ago”, his girlfriend giggled as he gazed upon the spread of food and presents. “Is...is all that”, he waved his arms around pointing at everything that was brought, “for me?”, he asked pointing to himself. “Well, it is your birthday”, Noct teasingly answered.

“You didn’t think we forgot, didya?”, Gladio asked folding his arms. “Well...I mean...sorta”, Prompto responded timidly. “Nonsense. As our loyal comrade, we take priority in expressing gratitude in any way we can”, Ignis added with a sincere smile, much to Prompto’s surprise. “He actually let me make the cake”, Six giggled as she playfully smirked at the royal adviser receiving a “hmph” from his smiling face.

Prompto was beside himself with joy. All his loved ones here to celebrate HIS birthday. His friends, his girlfriend. They all pitched in and planned this for him. Iggy prepared all his favorite foods and drinks, Six made an ice cream cake covering it with chocobos and soooo many presents. He could tell which ones were given by who. Iggy’s had the best quality paper and were wrapped the neatest. Six obviously wrapped all of her and Gladio’s presents. They weren’t as neat as Iggy’s, but there was a feminine touch to them. They had puffy bows. Noct’s were 80% tape, but the amount of effort he actually put into it warmed the freckled boy’s heart. Although, he couldn’t see any from Muerlin.

Oh, well, he thought to himself. She would probably give him hers later. Like a secret, super private gift or something and the mere idea of it excited him even more. The pure elation that overwhelmed the man sent a wave of heat to his freckled cheeks as well as the pleasant burning from his constant smile.

“Thanks, guys. You’re the best”. The shimmer in his eyes melted Muerlin’s heart. “No sweat”, Gladio approached the blonde to lead him to the food, “now, c’mon, food’s gettin’ cold”.

As the party continued, the boys chatted endlessly about video games, Gladio badgered the two younglings about their training, Iggy displayed a little savage humor here and there while they enjoyed the many fine delicacies he prepared. The night was going rather well. Except for one little thing...

The glaive lightly bumped into her wizard friend, who was silently observing the festivities, grabbing her attention. “So, the studio, bathroom and laundry room, right?” Muerlin nodded smirking at her. “Well, what a coincidence, I suddenly have to pee”, Six joked before slipping away toward the restroom. She quickly slide through the door, as not to potentially startle the floofy bird only to discover the leaves of lettuce on the floor next to her foot. “Huh...”, Six said to herself as she turned to examine the room. Nothing. No chocobo, anyway. After a few moments, the glaive exited the bathroom returning to the party. “That’s one down”, Six whispers to her friend as passes her. Muerlin sighed. Oooookay, she thought to herself. Her turn.

It would’ve made more sense for her to check the studio, but the last thing she needed was her clumsy boyfriend accidentally trapping a rare defenseless chocochick in the washing machine. Especially considering that he doesn’t really know how to use the thing. Or the dryer for that matter. “Great”, she groaned as she piled a load of their dirty laundry into a basket, “this isn’t gonna look weird in the slightest”. She rolled her eyes. “Hey, babe, just doin’ a quick laundry run during your birthday party because that’s normal. Ugh....I really didn’t think this through”. “Muerlin?”, a lighthearted voice cut through her frustration. “Huh?”, she pivoted slightly to see Prompto standing at the door. 

“What’re ya doin’ in here? Are you okay?”, he approached her obviously concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine”, she pleasantly responded. “I was just getting some of our laundry together so I could-”. “Baaaabe”, the freckled plebe whined as he gently took hold of his girlfriend’s hand, “you’re thinking about laundry now?” “W..well, we’ve got a lot”. Aw, hell. What was she supposed to say honestly? “C’mooooon, we can do it laterrrr. I promise I’ll listen this time. Pretty pleeeease?” 

Uggghhh! Not with the eyes! Those precious blue eyes! That puppy face! She couldn’t resist...but she needed to find the chocobo...but....ugh. 

“Alright, alright”, she complied with a smile, “since you promised this time”. “Yay! Now, come on. Iggy made cheese frieeeees”. That does it. Mission: abort. Prompto’s eyes widened at the sudden clutch against his wrist before being practically dragged from the room by his girlfriend. He had completely forgotten how strong she was....with the proper motivation. Like cheese fries.

After stuffing her face with fries and ice cream cake, Muerlin began to grow more and more nervous. It had been hours. Prompto had just finished opening his presents. The boys were mingling among themselves, Noct was nearly asleep while Prom, Iggy and Gladio continued to enjoy Six’s masterpiece of a cake. 

Six planted herself next to the wizard on the couch, “I see someone still can’t resist the baby boys”, she teased her smitten friend. “Psh, like that garnet gazing Gladdy doesn’t tickle your ivories every now and again”. Six lightly glared at her friend, “smartass. Now...what’s the plan? I take the laundry room, you take the studio?” “I have more reason to go in the laundry room than you do”, Muerlin replied with a sigh. “Okay, then you take the laundry room, I get the studio?” “Same”, she slumped.

Meanwhile, as the girl’s pondered their next move, Prompto had gotten another craving. For a photo, but where was his camera? He started looking about the room for it. “I could’ve sworn...”, he mumbled before turning toward the studio. “Maybe...”.

“Well, what’re we gonna do?”, Six asked, “knock ‘em out for a bit?” Muerlin chuckled, “oh yeah, Happy Birthday Prom, I got you a concussion”. “Well, what do you propose we....”, Six suddenly paused. Muerlin turned to face her with a raised eyebrow as her friend stared on. “What?” “Uhh...”, the glaive started as she pointed behind the wizard, “...was that door open the whole time?” Muerlin quickly turned around to notice the studio door wide open.

“SHIT!”, Muerlin squealed in panic as she leap from the cushions and bolted for the door noticing the lettuce she left earlier was gone. Oh, no. Oh, GODS! DAMMIT, WHO OPENED THE DOOR?! WHAT IF IT ESCAPED?! WHAT IF IT HAD GOTTEN HURT?! WHAT IF-

“KWEH!”

A sudden chirp from inside the room quieted her racing mind, her eyes slightly widened. “Prom?”, she lightly called as her boyfriend stood before her, his back facing her. “O...M...G”, the man panted as he turned toward Muerlin, “there’s a chocobo in our house”, Prompto squealed with the fluffy chick nuzzled against his chest. Muerlin’s jaw nearly hit the floor. He was SO CUTE. TOO CUTE.

So small, yet chubby and plush. The feathers were so pearly white that the glare from the light shown shades of pinks and blue. A sharp squeak escaped Muerlin’s throat as she gazed upon the precious ball of floof alerting their friends from the living room. As they entered, they all gasped and sighed at the sight of the beautiful baby bird. 

“Woah”, Gladio gasped. “Well, would ya look at that”, Noct declared in his nonchalant tone. “My word”, Ignis exclaimed astounded as he approached, “a pearl chocobo”. “A what?”, Gladio asked in confusion. “A pearl chocobo. I have read of them. The most pure of the species. Thought to be extinct centuries ago”. “Seriously?”, Prom gazed in amazement at the little critter. “Then...how’d it get here?” “Ask your Little Muermaid”, Six smiled sweetly glancing at  the blushing silver haired woman next to her.

Prompto rose his gaze to his girlfriend, standing in front of him. “Muerlin?...You...”. “Happy Birthday, Prommie”. Her voice like a soft flute in his ears. “But....how?” She gingerly shrugged, “I’m a wizard”. Tears began to fill Prompto’s sea blue eyes as he cuddled the sweet bird and lovingly stared, in disbelief and admiration, at the timid woman. “You....you really did this....for me?”, he asked as he approached the young woman, Six graciously shoving her toward the blonde. “Well...I wanted to get you something special...I mean...this is your first birthday with us living together and...well, I know how much you love chocobo’s and I love you so...”, everyone’s eyes suddenly burst open at Muerlin, including Prompto’s, “I figured...y’know, he could always get a new camera, but a chocob-”. 

“Ahbahbahduh!!”, the blonde interrupted, startling the silver haired woman, “what did you say?”

“Th...the camera?”

“No, before that”.

“Wanted to get you something special?”

“After that”.

“First birthday living together?”

“Oh, for the love of....”, Gladio mumbled to herself receiving a elbow to the gut from the glaive.

“After that”.

“...I love you?” Muerlin began to sweat again remembering they had never exchanged the big 3 to one another yet. Oh, bloody hell, she thought to herself anticipating his response only to be startled by a sudden pressure against her lips as Prompto delivered a passionate kiss to his wizard, a soft and callused paw against her bronze cheek leaving Muerlin astounded by his sudden boldness. Once he broke the kiss, Muerlin finally felt the abundance of eyes on them and their satisfied grins. She could only imagine the plethora of texts of merciless teasing she was gonna get from Six later.

Brilliant, just what I needed. She’s never gonna..

“I love you too”.

..let me live this-WAIT, WHAT?

“P...pardon?” She could hardly believe it.

“I love you, Muerlin. I do...I’ve never met anyone that has ever made me feel this whole. This special. You are so good to me and...I promise, I’m gonna do everything in my power to do right by you”. His words brought tears to her eyes. Was this really happening? Yes...it was real, it was really real. “AND our baby”, he dramatically added cooing at the ball of feathery cuteness in his arms.

“KWEH!” Muerlin looked toward the little floof in Prompto’s arms who was beaming at her rubbing his feathered head against her chest. “Ya here that?! He said mommy!” Muerlin giggled at her boyfriend’s enthusiasm as he held his two loves close in a deep embrace. 

“So what’re you gonna name it?”, Noct asked with a smirk. “It’s gotta be something epic”, Gladio interjected receiving an eye roll from Six. “Possibly something to distinguish his features”, Iggy proposed with a smile. “Like Fluffy”, Noct suggested eagerly. “Really, Noct?”, Prompto whined at his best friend’s lack of effort. “Or Snowball”, Six added. “Cloud?”, Gladio spouted. “You’re serious....”, his glaive girlfriend lightly glared at him in disapproval.

“How about Marshmallow?”, Muerlin suggested, looking toward her love. “Marshmallow, huh?” He pondered for a moment. “Yeah..yeah! I like it! That’s perfect! Soft and squishy!” He looked down at the little chick, “whaddya say, little guy?”

“KWEH!”, the little baby chirped with joy. “That settles it”, Gladio chuckled. “Welcome to the family, Marshmallow”, Ignis playfully greeted the bird. The little floof excitedly wiggled in his daddy’s arms as the others cooed. An elbow to Muerlin’s side caught her attention, “ya did good, Muery”, Six whispered to her friend as she pet the floof and Muerlin was proud. “Ooo! Come on, let’s get our first picture with the baby”, Prompto beamed grabbing his camera to set it up on the other side of the room. 

Once he returned to the group, he and Muerlin proceeded to make their usual adorably goofy stances filling the little floof with glee. “Alright, on three. Everyone say “KWEH!”, Prompto delightfully instructed. “One....two...THREE!”

“KWEHHHH!” *click*

Thinking back on what Six said, Muerlin realized, despite the havoc she endured today, she did do good. She made her love happy. Gave him a birthday he’d never forget. Sure, she could’ve bought him that silly camera, but he deserved the very best. He was her everything. Her sunshine. Her chocobo.

...And no photo could do justice the love of a chocobo for his chocobo.

Tagging: @aquathemermaidstripper @digitalkanvas @a-new-recipehhh @prettyprompto

If you’d like to be tagged in further pieces, let me know! ^^

[danmacrae]

Silly 90s Intro Blab: A Thing To Skim Through On The Toilet

Hello! I’m semi-tolerable nuisance Dan MacRae! Why am I shouting at you? Not sure! Sorry, I’ll take it down a notch.

Instead of learning how to pleasure a woman or how to unlock the mysteries of grooming, I have devoted my life to TV nonsense. Blessed YouTube presence RwDt09 has been collecting these amazing compilations of era (and sometimes season) specific TV intros and they are my everything. Imagine having a child that didn’t suck? That’s the feeling RwDt09′s videos put in my heart.

I've been obsessively rewatching this collection of mostly forgotten early '90s TV intros. The bulk of these shows died a quick death and feel like the product of whatever drugs TV execs take. (Probably something snorted from one of those awesome McDonalds coffee straws they ditched in like 2002.) Because I'm a handsome pin-up hunk of the year, I wrote some dumb blurbs about the first few shows and have some stray thoughts on the rest. This appeals to no one but me AND I APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE!

In the immortal words of John Lennon, let’s get biz-zay!

DINOSAURS: I’m at a point in my life where I can acknowledge that Dinosaurs sucked. It’s incredibly freeing. Christ, this is like that stupid-ass Norman Lear show where dogs did social commentary BUT WITH HENSON PUPPETS! I hope Baby Sinclair was stomped to death and eaten as pudding before the extinction series finale. (Yes, that happened.) The intro isn’t bad, mind you. You get the lumbering theme song and Earl gets stuck in a door CUZ LAFFS! TIMES SURE HAVEN’T CHANGED HO HO HO! God I hate these fucking dinosaurs.

Intro MVP: It’s not a stellar pack, but we get a bit of Robbie Sinclair who census data has shown led to a variety of surprising sexual awakenings for youths at the time.

SCORCH: A 1300-year-old dragon named Scorch visits the 1990s on a budget that looks not far removed from Skank on The Ben Stiller Show. The song will make you want to barricade your sex organs from a world where you can bring children into a world with THAT CAWAZZZY SCORCH! The theme song really is a special brand of irritating and Scorch looks like a malformed Deviant Art dildo with a vaguely religious bent.

Intro MVP: Probably John O’Hurley for not actually appearing in the intro. (Even with O’Hurley’s weird résumé.)

FISH POLICE: Not to be confused with the (ARF! ARF! ARF!) Dog Police, Fish Police and Family Dog are shows I know almost exclusively from being mentioned as examples of the crappy post-Simpsons primetime animation gold rush. Fish Police actually looks good animation-wise, but it’s pretty clear you’re gonna be sledgehammered with endless “COULD YOU IMAGINE FISH DOING THESE OLD TROPES? DO WE NEED TO CALL A SEARCH PARTY FOR YOUR SIDES? ARE THEY SPLITTING ALREADY?” jokes. Congrats dipshits, you made a cinema-touched precursor to Frankie & George. You dummies. Also there’s the tone of casual racism UNDER THE SEA so do with that what you will. DID YOU SEE CHINATOWN? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?

Intro MVP: Thank goodness they specified who John Ritter voices so we could all bask in Inspector Gil as a character name. Fuck you, Fish Police.

CAPITOL CRITTERS: Christ, this looks UNWATCHABLE. Like walk into oncoming traffic as an alternative unwatchable. Capitol Critters centers around an animated mouse named Max (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris) witnesses his family being murdered in Nebraska and moves to D.C. and wait what the fuck is going on with those roaches? (Racism, mostly.) Who thought this was a good idea to invest time, money and animator joint damage in? Stephen Bochco, baby! I have a perverse curiosity to see an episode but after 90 seconds I know I'd be dying to eat a fucking gun instead of suffering through any more of Capitol Critters.

Intro MVP: Gotta be Bochco. Also, EAT SHIT BOCHCO!

And now a really tiny blab about the rest. Watch this clip package, ya goofs!

FAMILY DOG: Folks were fucking horny for Spielberg TV shit in the 90s, ditto Tim Burton too and that's how an Amazing Stories, uh, story was morphed into a shitball TV series that Brad Bird wanted no part of. Also, I have no idea how to explain things like the CBS StereoSound chyron to anyone born after Clinton left office.

THE CRITIC: Nice to see you, Jay Sherman! This is a lovely intro and you likely know that already. I've done a few rewatches of The Critic (not the web series season, though) and I say the show definitely holds up and is far from a duketastrophe. That said, some of the parody film clips that got raves at the time are kinda creaky in hindsight.

CHARLIE HOOVER: Can I say something? Fuck Sam Kinison. Hmm... That's a bit harsh. I guess I just don't get him on any level. The only thing he's done that I've ever found all that funny was when he said he wished Andrew Dice Clay die of stomach cancer from the inside out, like Bette Davis. Kinison's not my cup of tea is what I'm getting at. In Charlie Hoover (GET IT HURF HURF), Kinison is a foot high loudmouth in a long coat that's getting 40-year-old square Tim Matheson where he needs to be in life.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN: Or... "Betty Spaghetti's Here Which Is All The Star Power You Need!"

HARDBALL: A League Of Their Own had a fun, feel good intro with all the corny touches of ol' timey baseball. Hardball tries to sell you on Joe Rogan: Baseball Fella and the vague scent of urinal troughs.

GOOD GRIEF: Howie Mandel golfs in a cemetery and it's not particularly clear if he's just fucking around on strangers graves for fun. (Alternate Theory: Those graves belong to the family from Bobby's World. All the Generics!)

THE FANELLI BOYS: If enjoy broad Italian-American stereotypes to the point of falling down laughing at the sight of a pizza box, you'll love The Fanelli Boys! Joe Pantoliano and Christopher Meloni both star.

SOMETHING WILDER: Something Wilder was the sort of show where I wished Gene Wilder well and still kept 5000 miles away from watching it. Also, Wilder's face on that house is CHILLING.

DUDLEY: Embrace the luxury hotel elevator elegance of Dudley! Does it feature Dudley Moore make a series of faces where he seems surprised by everything? You better believe it. This was also where Max Wright got work in-between taking abuse from a cat eating alien and Norm Macdonald.

CAROL & COMPANY: It's a bit Carol Takes On in the intro with Carol Burnett in assorted costumes and that's alright because everyone does the assorted costumes intro thing. Tickets to the show are blown across America and get in the hands of whatever Orphan Black Carol happens to be in the area.

THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: This is an extremely 90s sort of intro that feels like something more upscale soft rock stations did in TV ads at the time too. Richard Kind directs a bit of paper at someone midway through.

DREXELL'S CLASS: One of more storied entries in the Dabney Coleman being an asshole catalogue. The first intro features Dabney, ol' Drex himself, just hanging around in class being hot shit and occasionally mimicking a flying dinosaur. The second intro is a more traditional clip collection highlighted by a young Brittany Murphy (WHO WAS MURDERED! FACT! REMINDER!) and Coleman in a wild 8 ball jacket. Rembrandt off Sliders also makes an appearance.

TEECH: If this intro looks exactly like a sitcom where a Cool Black Music Instructor™ teaches Prep School bad boys in Bush Sr era America that's because it is exactly that sort of sitcom. Maggie Han deserves better.

THE ROYAL FAMILY: It seems extra cruel to take Redd Foxx's popcorn away considering he'd be dead before the fifth episode even aired. Della Reese is in this, die-hard Della fans.

ROC: This intro works perfectly. We get Charles S. Dutton, Ella Joyce and an easy to digest Jerry Lawson theme song. (En Vogue would do the theme later.) It’d be nice if they could get Edgar Allan Poe wagging a finger at seafood or something else in the background to push that Baltimore thing even more, but I still wish this intro from 25+ year old Fox comedy all the best in its future endeavours.

BREWSTER PLACE: Speaking of good intros, Brewster Place is a first rate brand of TV welcome. Brenda Pressley is the MVP of the intro over Oprah Winfrey which might explain why Brenda Pressley has been missing since 1992. (I know she’s on The Path. Just play along.)

SUNDAY BEST: The intro equivalent of getting someone to throw shit at a wall, we get an early 90s NBC grab bag of fuck it whatever shots of TVs and TV dinners with poor Carl Reiner trotted out partway through.

AMERICAN CHRONICLES: Mark Frost and David Lynch paired for a documentary series in the early ‘90s on Fox because Fox was like fucking UHF at the time. The industrial strength creepy opening doesn’t include any shots of narrator Richard Dreyfuss turning towards the camera and that’s a damn shame.

AMERICAN DETECTIVES: If you get horny for stressed out real-life detectives, this will send your undergarments to Mars! Lots of mustaches here. A whole Safeway bag’s worth. Some real rural gas station rock going on with that theme tune.

FBI: THE UNTOLD STORIES: The tone of this entire intro is: “Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? Or twenty?” Creepy music blasting over Jackie Kennedy on the back of JFK’s death limo and Wayne Williams heading to trial equals primetime party fun!

ENCOUNTERS: THE HIDDEN TRUTH: Suck it, Sightings! Encounters is leading a new dawn for crackpot horseshit to eat Bugles to! I appreciate the shameless X-Files knockoff intro thing Fox is doing (cuz it’s their show) that comes complete with head shop blanket alien head popping up midway through.

STEPHEN KING’S GOLDEN YEARS: Essentially Garth Marenghi's Darkplace with one hell of a music rights win tacked on.

TRIBECA: This opening reminds me an awful lot of terrible movies I was bullied into watching on VHS at a friend’s house.

WIOU: One thing I like in a TV intro is when something fun happens with the title onscreen. It’s a minor thing, but the way those WIOU letters turn into view? HOOCHIE MAMA! Eight is Enough’s Dick Van Patten does a fantastic job of conveying that being a weatherfellow is tough work.

GABRIEL’S FIRE: I will never for the life of me understand how the early ‘90s could not sustain a James Earl Jones fronted program titled Gabriel’s Fire. Those worlds are supposed to meld beautifully.

PROS & CONS: Gabriel’s Fire would morph into the more lighthearted Pros & Cons which symbolized its new form by laying it on thick with the Video Toaster touches. Instead of James Earl Jones peering at you from the darkness, this go-around it’s a lot of smiles and silly moments with Richard Crenna.

BURKE’S LAW: Hearing “it’s Burke’s Law” at the start of that intro is like when “Do you smell what The Rock’s cooking?” would play before Dwayne Johnson would wander down a ramp to kick Triple H in the stomach. In this case, it’s to get you fired up that Gene Barry’s back on television. This particular episode promises Dom DeLuise and Tawny Kitaen together at last!

MAX MONROE: LOOSE CANNON: If you only see one intro for a Shadoe Stevens vehicle that transitions from a Donut Hole shot to an extended leer at a lady’s bum, make it this one!

TEQUILA AND BONETTI: The creators of Tequila and Bonetti know that if you want folks to get on board for an L.A. dramedy about a New York cop and streetwise police partner dog, you should kick things off by trying to make you feel sorry for this asshole who “accidentally” murdered a kid. Seriously, that’s the route Tequila and Bonetti goes with this fucking insane opening that begins with newspaper headlines screaming “COP KILLS 12 YR OLD” while he cradles a black girl in her arms and then BOOM! we’re spun around to JACK SCALIA GRINNING AROUND WACKY LOS ANGELES AND ALL ITS CRAZY CHARACTERS LIKE A DOG THAT JUMPS THROUGH A FUCKING WINDOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? THIS IS LIKE IF SOMEONE STROKED OFF THE HANNITY VIEWING AND KEPT WHAT WAS SPURTED OUT ONSCREEN! It’s just a really, really, really bad intro.