#just going for the brain.. i have all my gear / levels lol

[wyllzel]

FINALLY closing out his game hahaha i've been procrastinating rip

[cxrrodedcoffin]

Rock Me - Spencer Reid

Likes are always appreciated but reblogs and feedback keep artists going!

Summary: Spencer decides to surprise Rockstar!Reader on the road after one of her tour stops, so they fuck each other’s brains out.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: I made my first custom fic header! I really wanted to capture the vibe I was picturing for this so I hope y’all like it! Decided to combine my love of music with my love for Spencer Reid, I was def picturing the vibes of The Pretty Reckless and In This Moment for the kind of band reader is the frontwoman of, reader plays the bass guitar because I always wanted to play bass when I was younger lol. Very short outro cuz I felt like it was getting a little too long lol, p.s. yes the title is a one direction song, fight me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TW: sub!spencer, mommy kink, established relationship, lots of teasing, playfully mean dom!reader, degradation, pet names, unprotected sex, penetration, afab + fem reader, slight alcohol mention, cum eating, oral sex (reader receiving), handjob, typical criminal minds level violence at the beginning.

Rating: R, 18+

——

You were a force of nature. Spencer knew that from the moment the team walked into that concert venue in search of a serial killer targeting high profile rock musicians. Your voice captivated him, strong melodies reverberating inside his mind, snaking around his every thought, he was hypnotized like a sailor drawn to your siren song.

When the unsub ran on stage and held a knife to your throat, Spencer’s heart stopped, until you used the headstock of your bass to uppercut the criminal, forcing him to drop the knife and stumble back into your bandmate’s drum set. You weren’t going to wait for someone to rescue you no matter what you were ordered to do, your fate was in no one’s hands but your own.

That was the moment Spencer knew he had to have you, and he’d do whatever it took to see you as often as possible. He spent the next six months bouncing back and forth across the country, from whatever state the latest case was in to wherever your next tour stop was. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Now, as he waited anxiously on your tour bus with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand ready to surprise you, he found his mind wandering back to every dirty encounter the two of you had leading up to this. He catered to your every whim, falling to his knees to eat you out whenever you asked, in your dressing room before a show, in the bathroom on the moving tour bus, even side stage right after you’d just finished performing, smelling like smoke and sweat, ripping your fishnets so he could devour your cunt on top of an amp.

What the two of you had was utterly filthy, and he loved every second of it. You hadn’t given him the pleasure of properly fucking you yet, but that’s not to say you disregarded his pleasure all together, far from it. You loved to let him put on a show for you, sitting on the bench across from him on the bus as you watched his brow furrow, his large hand fisting his cock impossibly slowly as you talked him through masturbation, reveling in the way he whimpered when you finally gave him permission to cum, shooting a massive load all over his lightly toned stomach.

He felt free with you, like he could lull the constant noise in his head for a short while and just be whatever you wanted in the moment, whether that be a loving boyfriend who’d hold you and let you bitch to your heart's content about your in-ears malfunctioning during the show, or a mere tool for your pleasure, he was content.

But right now, he was really, really hoping you’d use him like your own personal sex toy.

-

You raised your bass in the air, screaming an enthusiastic ‘goodnight!’ into your mic before running off stage, desperate to rip your clothes off and cool down after sweating your ass off under the stage lights for the last hour and a half.

You handed off your gear to the sound techs before saying congratulatory goodbyes to your band mates, making as close to an irish exit as you could, shaking off any fleeting guilt you had about it knowing you’d do the whole thing over again together in a couple days when you arrived in the next city.

You grabbed your bag from your dressing room, taking a couple snacks for the road from the basket the venue provided in accordance with your rider before heading out to the bus, ready to take a cold shower as soon as possible. You yanked open the bus door handle, climbing the short steps into the central seating area, nearly dropping your bag when you finally saw him.

“Spence!” You cheered, a little too giddy to see your boy wonder. You quickly tossed your bag aside and straddled his lap, taking his face in your hands and crashing your lips to his in an open-mouthed kiss. Your tongue danced with his, desperate to taste him after two weeks of no physical content. Spencer had sent you as many tribute videos as you’d asked for while you were apart, but it just wasn’t the same as getting to feel him.

When you pulled away, the deep red of your lipstick was smeared across his plush lips, and you would’ve giggled if the sight hadn’t turned you on so much. He really was so pretty, you absolutely understood why his teammates nicknamed him pretty boy. You kissed him one more time on the cheek, placing a perfect kiss print on his soft skin before reaching for the flowers he’d brought you. You took in the fresh floral scent, admiring the flora for a moment before thanking him and getting up to put the stems in the neck of an empty liquor bottle in lieu of a vase.

“I’ve missed you.” He sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist as he watched your handiwork over your shoulder.

“Not more than I missed you.” You challenged, setting the makeshift floral arrangement on the small countertop. You turned to face him, your platform boots putting you right at his eyeline. He may have been taller than you but that didn’t stop the hold you had over him.

“It doesn’t have to be a competition.” He laughed, pulling you closer.

“But it does Spence, do you know how many times I got off stage and wished you were there to see the killer show we put on?” You were earnest, something only he seemed to be able to pull out of your usually headstrong facade.

“Ah, every show you put on is extraordinary, watching you is transcendent, you’re otherworldly up there, even on what you consider your bad days.” He praised, showering you with his famously flowery language. You felt a special appreciation for it, because despite the messy rocker chick stereotype, you held a life-long love of literature close to your heart.

“God, you are so whipped!” You teased, lightly pushing at his chest. Despite your deflection, the blush creeping across your cheeks showed him just how much his words meant to you.

“Maybe, but I know you love it.” He called your bluff and the back and forth was starting to stir something in you that needed attention, now.

“You know what I missed the most?” You asked, unable to keep your eyes off of his mouth.

“What?” He knew where you were going with this but needed to hear the words from your perfect lips.

“Seeing you cum all over your stomach live and in person.” Your sultry tone sent blood rushing straight to his cock, eidetic memory pulling clips of your mutual masturbation to the front of his mind.

“W-what if I came somewhere else tonight?” He stumbled over his words, having a hard time maintaining eye contact as he asked the awkwardly worded question.

“Like where?” You played dumb, exaggeratingly tilting your head and twirling your hair around your finger.

“Inside you.” He whispered, gaze locked on the wall behind you.

“Hmm I didn’t quite hear that, can you repeat it for me?”

“Inside you, I want to fuck you.” He blurted out, lipstick-stained cheeks burning bright red in embarrassment. You took his chin between your fingers, forcing him to look at you as you pondered your next move.

“I have a mountain of fan mail full of guys begging for the opportunity to fuck me, what makes you think you deserve it more than any of them?” You prompted, watching the way his features contorted in reaction to your somewhat harsh question.

“You’re being mean.” Tears started to well up in his eyes, brown irises glazing over as a lump formed in his throat. Despite how sad the thought made him, it also had his bulge straining even harder against his pants than it already had been.

“I know baby, but you’ve gotta prove how badly you want this, I’m not just going to give you the privilege without earning it.”

You could see the wheels turning in his head, no doubt debating what he could do to demonstrate his worth to you. His demeanor started to shift, holding eye contact as his shoulders straightened, practically puffing out his chest.

“I think I’ve already proven myself to you, given that you’ve cum on my tongue more times than you could count.” This sudden surge of confidence from Spencer was unexpected, but something about it had you hungrier for him than ever.

“Fair, although I do think that eidetic memory of yours gives you an unjust advantage.” You teased, a small smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. You took a step forward, closing what small gap was left between the two of you before bringing your hand to graze over his bulge. He let out a breathy whimper, pupils dilating as you applied slight pressure to his almost painfully hard member.

“I’ll do whatever you want, I just need you to touch me.” He breathed, bucking into your hand. You began to undo his belt, pushing him back until he fell back onto the leather bench. You loomed over him, low cut top giving him a face full of cleavage as you worked to slide his pants down just enough to free his aching cock. You moved to straddle his lap, sitting back on his thighs to leave ample space to toy with his member.

“Can you be a good boy for me?” You purred, starting to pump your spit-covered hand up and down his shaft.

“God yes.”

“Yes, what?” You stared him down, watching his lips part with a gentle moan.

“Yes Mommy.” The groan ripped from his throat, prominent veins framing his adam's apple.

“That’s right baby, let mommy take care of you.” You kissed his cheekbone, then his jawline, admiring the way your crimson lipstick contrasted against his pale complexion as you worked your hand over his cock, feeling every curve and contour of his thick veins against your palm.

“Take off your shirt.” You ordered, your free hand skirting under his layered vest and button-up to feel his abdominal muscles flex with every shallow breath he took. He did his best to quickly undress, lifting the vest over his head before shaky hands began unbuttoning each adornment, finally shaking off the garment and exposing his bare chest.

You trailed your kisses down his neck, peppering lip prints across his chest, stopping periodically to suck and nip until dark red and purple bruises bloomed over his skin. You could tell he was holding back, front teeth biting into his bottom lip to stifle his sighs.

“Spencer, I need to hear you.” You bring your hand to a stop, waiting for him to release his lip from the bite before starting up your movements again. You brought your other hand down to cup his balls, gently massaging them as you increased your speed, rotating your wrist to maximize the stimulation against his increasingly sensitive shaft.

The moans and whimpers falling from his lips grew louder, his mind abandoning all inhibitions as his approaching orgasm clouded his judgment.

“You’re so loud, the rest of the band is in the bus right next to ours, do you want them to hear how big of a whore you’re being right now?” You teased, snapping him out of his love-drunk stupor.

“I-I thought you wanted me to-“ He stuttered out, brows furrowed in confusion.

“You’re right sweet boy, I want them to hear exactly how good I make you feel.” You cut him off, a wicked grin spread across your face as you focused your movements on the tip of his cock, your thumb smearing the pre-cum dripping from his slit all over the swollen head. His moan caught in his throat, breathing becoming increasingly labored until one final twist of your hand had him falling over the edge.

“Mommy!” He cried out, his thighs flexing as thick ropes of cum painted his stomach. You slowed your movements just slightly, milking him for all he has. You took your free hand and picked up some of his spend on your fingers before bringing them to his parted lips, prompting him to suck them clean. He does as he’s told, utterly shameless about everything he does for you.

“You’re such an obedient slut Spencer, I love it.” You praised, pulling him into another heated kiss. You pulled away, watching him catch his breath and look at you like you hung the stars in the night sky.

“I think you’re ready for me, if you’re up for it.” His eyes went wide at your proposal, his heart feeling as though it could beat right out of his chest.

“Yes, yes, I just need a minute.” He panted, his cock already semi-hard again.

“Take your time sugar, I’m gonna take a quick shower.” You patted his cheek before rising off of his lap and walking to the small bus bathroom, stripping out of your black latex mini dress and shredded fishnets to wash off the sweat and body shimmer from your time on stage tonight. You didn’t bother removing your makeup, too excited to finally have Spencer’s perfect cock inside of you to waste any time.

He didn’t need to know how badly you wanted him, the cat and mouse game the two of you played was unlike anything you’d ever had before and it beyond satisfied you to know how much power you willingly held over him, and how much pleasure you mutually received from it.

When you finished scrubbing down you made your way to your small bedroom at the back of the bus, finding Spencer ready and waiting for you on your bed. He was laying nude on top of the comforter, messy strands of hair resting against his forehead, pillow sitting in his lap as he propped himself up on his elbows to watch for you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He greeted you, watching as you rubbed body lotion over your skin. When you reached your chest, you spent a little extra time kneading the lotion into your breasts, putting on a bit of a show for him. He loved all of you, that much you were sure of, but he always had a special appreciation for your breasts.

He’d find any opportunity to lay his head on your chest while you laid in bed together on your off days, watching Doctor Who and nerding out over through lines and plot holes alike. It was days like those that had you really falling for him, your souls finding ways to both mesh with and contradict each other in a perfect harmony.

“You’re too sweet to me.” You smiled at him, rubbing the last bit of lotion into your skin before walking to the end of the bed. You reached forward, observing as his eyes went straight to your chest when you bent over to pull the pillow away from his lap. His cock stood straight up, bobbing slightly. A deep blush creeped over his cheeks, his shyness endearing, especially given that you had just had your hand wrapped around him twenty minutes ago.

“Do you want to be on top, sweetheart?” The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, he just figured you’d be the one in control of the whole thing, but the thought of hovering over you, getting to have a perfect view of your hair all splayed out over the pillows, your face contorted in pleasure, had goosebumps rising over his skin.

“If that’s what you want.” He surrendered, always looking to please you. You nodded, climbing onto the bed to lay down, waiting for him to reposition himself between your legs. He knelt there, reaching to grab the pillow from the end of the bed, bringing it behind your thighs. You understood what he was silently requesting, lifting your hips to allow him to slide the pillow underneath.

“Where’d you learn that, wonder boy?” You giggled, propping yourself up by your elbows to watch him.

“I read that it can ease the tension on the lower back created by repeated movement during intercourse, I want you to be comfortable.” He explained, bleeding heart showing once again. You nodded, smiling at him. His fingers slid up your thigh, pausing at the apex before dipping into your folds, his digits welcomed by your warm arousal.

“Y-you’re so wet already.” The look of amazement on his face amused you, as if he was somehow completely unaware that you were, in fact, truly attracted to him.

“Spencer, believe it or not, I actually do enjoy our time together.” You teased, raising your knees to your chest to give him a better view of your cunt. His features softened, your joking easing his nerves as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

“Can I start?” He asked, positioning his hips just above yours.

“Yes baby, go slow.” You locked eyes with him, pushing a strand of hair away from his face. He brought his cock to your cunt, rubbing the head through your folds before tapping it against your clit a few times, making absolutely positive that you were relaxed enough. He positioned his head at your entrance, slowly pushing forward until his head popped into your welcoming hole.

“Stop.” You commanded, voice firm. His eyes widened in panic, freezing his movements.

“W-what’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He rambled, fear in his tone.

“I’m okay Spencer, I just want you to stay like that until I say otherwise.” He could hear the amusement in your tone and although he was no longer concerned, confusion quickly replaced it.

“Why?” He questioned, apprehensively obeying your request.

“I’m just doing whatever I want, just like you asked me to. I want to see if you can resist your urges.” He was almost annoyed, knowing that this was another one of your power plays, but the shiver that ran up his spine told you he was enjoying this just as much as you were.

So he stayed there, wincing every time you clenched your pelvic muscles around his tip, trying to break him. You knew it wouldn’t work, he was the definition of obedient, but it was oh so fun to watch him squirm in anticipation. After a good five minutes you decided you’d had enough, ready to let him fill you.

“You are so deliciously pathetic.” You laughed lightly, pulling him down into a kiss. You felt him smile against your lips, his hand snaking up your stomach to grope your breast. Your nipple hardened against his palm, drawing a low moan from your throat.

“Move, Spencer.” You finally gave him permission, your hand tangling in his messy locks. He pushed further into you, his thick girth stretching your walls in a way that had you begging for more.

“So tight.” He moaned, pausing to just feel the way your pussy hugged him before pulling out and thrusting quickly back into you, his eyes shut tight in concentration.

“Look at me.” You moaned, needing to see the pleasure in his beautiful eyes. His eyelids fluttered open, catching your gaze as he found a steady rhythm inside of you. Each thrust of his hips made the filthiest sound, wet slapping skin mixing with both of your moans, his whines and whimpering music to your ears.

The pillow beneath you made for the perfect angle, allowing the veins on this cock to rub deliciously against your sweet spot. He grabbed the side of your face, his mouth practically devouring you as he swallowed your moans. When we pulled away, a string of spit connecting your lips fell to your chest, and without hesitation he dipped his head down to lick it up, repeating your earlier actions as me marked your chest, working his way to your breasts.

He increased his speed, pumping in and out of you at an animalistic pace, his mouth finding your nipple and sucking hungrily. You threw your head back into the pillows, your hands finding his back and your acrylics digging into his delicate skin. You scratched up his back, surely drawing blood and for a split second you worried you’d taken it too far, until he moaned loudly against your chest.

“I’m gonna cum.” He panted, shifting so his face was above yours again. He looked to you for permission, but you weren’t going to let him off that easily.

“No, not until you beg for it.” You told him, digging your nails into his back again. He slowed his pace just slightly, his free hand finding your clit and rubbing quickly over it, hoping it would soften your conviction just a little.

“Please let me cum, I need it.” He weakly pleaded, his actions growing increasingly desperate.

“Come on baby, I know you can do better than that.” You encouraged him, rocking your hips to meet his thrusts. He whimpered, hanging his head for a moment to center himself.

“Please Mommy!” He groaned, watching your tits bounce with every thrust.

“Do it, fill up Mommy’s cunt Spencer.” You finally allowed him to let go, getting in a few more hard thrusts before his hips stuttered, his cock twitching and coating your walls with his warm cum. The feeling of his warmth deep inside coupled with his hand on your clit sent you over the edge, every nerve in your body on fire as the tension in your core dispersed through your body, the pleasure washing over you in waves.

When you both came down from your highs, Spencer collapsed face down on the bed next to you, his head turned to face you.

“I love you.” He whispered, half hoping he’d said it low enough that you hadn’t heard.

“I love you too, Spence.” You returned the favor, any fear he had immediately dissipating with the mutual confession.

——

Tag List: @pleasantwitchgarden @lover-of-books-and-tea

DM me or send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my general or spencer reid taglist :)

[boynarcing]

too spacious when you’re lonely

leon s. kennedy x male!reader

word count. 5.3k

cws. incest, stepbrother leon, pee, reader w bad bladder issues lol, crude language, handjobs, humping, OOC leon (duh), boring mid sexual encounter cause it’s leon, crude language

note. this is my first fic including dark(?) content so it’s wonky and mid and the overall flow of it is boring but whatever I tried my best. It’s not necessarily dark it’s just weird and icky and me just rambling lol :3 also the pee part comes out of nowhere sorry LMAO like ur just flashed

Leon Kennedy has always been the type to lead girls on, whether it be for one thing or another, he just didn’t care. Everything was a one-time thing to him. That hook-up last week, that promise he made to a buddy, that girl he had accidentally gotten pregnant… it all went in one ear and out the other.

He was a massive asshole, that much was clear to anyone with basic comprehension levels. But no one gave a fuck, because as long as you’re hot enough you’re given a free pass to do whatever you want. He knew that he was hot, yeah, but that’s like, normal. He’s only ever been surrounded by hot people his entire life. Why would he want to willingly hang out with someone who isn’t? That’s weird. No hot person does that unless they want something from you. Or they feel bad, which is probably worse.

Leon doesn’t hang out with you at all. He’s your stepbrother, so one would think he’d at least spare you a glance or a nod, right? No, no, not at all. You’re a fleeting thought to him. An “oh yeah, I forgot” type of topic. And that’s fine. It’s not like you’re the most socially indulgent type of person in the world. You’re not anything interesting. That’s why you’re not worth bullying either. Not worth some abrupt pantsing or name-calling— whatever big brothers are supposed to do with their younger siblings. Nada.

That kind of irks you. Kind of. Leon goes out of his way to make anyone he hangs out with miserable by just being himself, yet he avoids you like the plague.

It’s not purposeful, ‘cause he couldn’t care less about you— and that’s what grinds your gears.

Your mom marries some random cop who just so happens to have a kid your age, and now what? Aren’t you supposed to be a part of some picture-perfect family now? Because that’s not what it feels like. It just feels odd. You have to go downstairs for breakfast and dinner now, have a movie night every Friday, and whatever other cheesy nonsense your mom deems necessary. Where was all of that before? It’s annoying to think about. You don’t want to get all buddy-buddy with people you don’t even know or could care less about.

They probably feel the same way about you, which, whatever. The feeling is mutual. There’s just something about Leon in particular that gets on your nerves the most.

It’s just everything about him. His stupid blue eyes, his stupid side-swept hair, and his especially stupid smile. You’d punch his nose back into place if you could. Everyone else adores him. They practically kiss his ass and pucker up their lips to give him a nice rimming. It’s disgusting.

It’s a no-brainer that you’re jealous. Yeah, and what of it? It’s not like you want people to start looking at you as if you shit gold or something, but would it kill someone to notice you every once in a while? What’s Leon got that you don’t? Who’s dick is he sucking to get this many people tailing after him like lost puppies? And where can you meet them? All this who, what, why questioning is starting to hurt your brain, that’s all you know.

It’s hot in your room, and the ceiling fan’s low speed only manages to thrust more warm air towards you. The useless thing never works the way it’s supposed to. Restless, you sit up in your bed, running a hand through your mussed-up hair with an anxious sigh.

The sound of lively chatting and dishes clattering downstairs makes your ears perk, straining to hear what is going on. Something, something about your mom leaving for work soon, something else about your stepdad needing to fix the A/C… you lose interest and stop listening, eyes darting over to the alarm clock beside your bed, messily decorated with stickers and other knick-knacks.

9:04 AM.

It’s a Wednesday, which means both of your parents will be busy. Normally, you’d enjoy a day to yourself, but not this one. Wednesdays, if you’re unlucky, Leon will stay home to invite his friends over, the cute ones that have no personality or self-respect. If you’re lucky, he’ll bring home the ditzy blonde girl and Spanish-speaking man. They’re cute.

Leon definitely fucks the blonde. You’ve seen her press her chest up against his arm and sputter out nonsense as an excuse to get close.

You can’t help but frown at the memory. She’s cute as fuck, and he just sits there like an idiot, nodding along to whatever she was saying, a distant look in his eyes as if he were thinking about something else. What else does he have to think about other than the tits being offered to him on a silver platter? Dick?

Your mom calls out your name, startling you out of your foul mood.

“Come have breakfast!” She says, sounding like she was in the middle of something else way more important than you. You’re grown, you don’t need the reminder�� or the attention. Maybe.

You don’t bother changing into something else, simply swiping some invisible lint off of your shirt and pushing back some hair from your face before heading downstairs, the old wood creaking under your weight.

You take the last step down, and Instantly, you’re hit with the smell of bacon and pancakes. Your mouth waters, stomach rumbling. Glancing around, you see your mom walking out the front door, keys in hand. No stepdad, and no Leon either. Either he already ate or he’s still asleep, neither of which you can bother to care about right now. Taking your seat in your respective chair, you began to eat your fill.

A mix of pancakes, strawberries, and bacon are all shoveled into your mouth, fork occasionally scratching against the porcelain of your plate and making you wince. Your mom makes good food. It makes up for all the other stuff she lacks, at least. It’s not like she has to make something good to get you to eat though. Caught up in getting your belly full, you miss the familiar creaking of wood coming downstairs.

“It’s early in the morning and you’re already stuffing your face.”

You feel your heart lurch, the pancakes passing down your throat almost getting stuck. Coughing, you wipe at your mouth with the corner of your sleeve, glaring over at your stepbrother, who isn’t even looking at you. Leon was rummaging through the fridge, snaking his hand in between some condiments to grab a protein shake. The same one his dad takes.

Oh, so he’s talking to you now? Is what’s snarked out in your head, but anxiety makes you flounder, wondering if he was speaking to you or not. Awkwardly, you slow down your movements, fork stabbing into the pancakes you were eating, now soggy with syrup. Eyes dashing up to steal a glance, you almost die right then and there when you accidentally make eye contact, meekly pushing your plate away and standing up to leave.

“What? Don’t want to eat with me or something?” Leon’s sarcastic tone stops you in your tracks, the mere attention making your heart rabbit against your chest— and not in a good way. Shit, man. What do you even say in a situation like this? What do you say at all? It’s not a big deal to most, but it is to you. It’s not like Leon talks to you every day, after all.

You open your mouth to speak, lips dry and tongue heavy.

“I’m just kidding.” He mutters, arm flexing as he rapidly shakes his protein shake, uncapping the drink before taking a swing.

Your words die out immediately, left gaping like a fish out of water. Just kidding? So he didn’t want to talk to you at all? You don’t know if you’re relieved or miserable, but your chest hurts, as if the mere situation has taken years off your lifespan. Gasping quietly, you nod, bunching your sweaty hands up into fists, as if the action would ground you.

“O—oh..‘kay, yeah…” You lick your lips, eyes on the floor beneath your feet. “I mean, would you want me to…?” Trailing off, heat rises to your cheeks, a feeling of inadequacy making you tremble lightly. Oh my god, you’re pathetic. You’re not hurt exactly, but something about him being able to shrug you off so easily like that stings. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but in the worst possible way.

Leon turns his head a little to look at you, his eyebrows pinching. He looks… concerned? No, that’s pity, you think. He’s pitying you, probably thinking about how unfortunate it is that you’re his weird little brother with no friends and social ineptitude. He probably thinks that you want to hang out with him too. You’d rather die, but you felt bad. That’s the only reason you even spoke in the first place. Honest.

“I mean,” you repeat helplessly, feeling as though you were digging yourself into a deeper hole. But your mouth kept running, seemingly out of your control. “I j-just thought that—“

“Uh, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…?” Leon cuts you off, looking back at the food set out on the table, most of it gone now. The sentence sounded forced, like he felt like he had to say it. Not that he needed to. He doesn’t wait for you, sitting down on a chair and serving himself some of the remaining food, occasionally giving you looks. Ones you couldn’t pinpoint the emotion behind. That’s scary. This is scary.

“You… okay?” Leon asks reluctantly. He’d rather be focused on something else right now, like who texted what and whatever, but he has to play the big brother role, right? His attempt at expressing care is lackluster, but at least it’s something. He has to care, but it’s not necessarily a want. If you didn’t look like you were about to shit yourself right now, he’d probably be less attentive, but you’re stuck in place and trembling like a sickly dog, and he’s a little concerned. Just a little.

He doesn’t want to get blamed by your parents for something that happened to you, or anything else like that.

You don’t answer him, and he gets a little creeped out. You don’t blame him, considering how fucking weird you’re being. Anyone, anyone at all talks to you, and you freak out like a girl wearing white on her period. Stomach churning, adrenaline makes you feel like you’re falling, the blood draining from your skin making you look as sickly as you felt. Leon’s worried now, considering the odd look he gives you, any thought of food currently abandoned.

He’s looking at you as if you were covered in blood or something, like Carrie at prom. He raises his brows and his eyes widen, jerking back a little as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. What was he seeing? Are you really that freakish or something? What’s up with his face?

A sudden splatter of liquid against the wooden floors makes you look down, gasping at the sight you’re greeted with.

Pee.

You’re fucking pissing yourself.

Hands clutching at your crotch, you sputter, mortified and embarrassed, tears welling in your eyes. “O—oh! Oh my god, uhm, I- I didn’t mean to…” More liquid gushes. Your bladder has completely lost control of itself in response to your failure at trying to act like a proper human being. You wince at the loud sound, Leon doing the same. He just stares, and you just stare. You both stare at the growing puddle, at the mess, at your ruined pants— at you.

It’s all overwhelming, enough to make you burst into tears. Which you do. Fat, salty drops run down your cheeks, and you resort to the only thing you know how to do in a situation like this. Apologize like a fucking loser.

“I- I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean… fuck..! Sorry, I’m sorry!”

Leon doesn’t know what to say, really. Does he laugh? Make a face? Offer to help?

He cringes instead, raising a hand to try and stop your babbling. “It’s okay, It’s okay…” He speaks quietly as if trying to console a frantic animal. “Just— just don’t move, you’re… ugh…” He hasn’t even gotten up from his seat yet, but he does now, slowly rising and forgetting about breakfast. That always seems to happen to him somehow.

“Are you done?…” He asks, unsure if he should approach or not, his body tense with confusion. “I mean, with-“

“Yes! Yes,” You sniffle, dreading your existence. You pray to anyone, anything, to just kill you right now. To strike you down. “I— I’m done… I think… don’t look please…”

“It’s all over the floor…” Leon mumbles. Way to point out the obvious. Yes, you know it’s all over on the floor. You know it’ll seep through if you don’t clean it soon. But that’s the last thing on your mind right now. Your stepbrother just watched you piss yourself out of pure gut-wrenching anxiety. How have you not killed yourself yet? Maybe it’s the nerves, the fear of someone else walking in on you in this compromising situation and making a mockery of it. You could see the social media posts now.

‘Some yellow-bellied boy pissed himself because he’s too afraid to make conversation with someone supposed to be a part of his family’.

“I-” You choke, the dryness of your throat making you swallow thickly. “Can you h-help me?” You manage to get out the words, swallowing again. A tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a hot trail of moisture on your already-heated flesh. God, please say yes. You don’t think you could take any more embarrassing exchanges today– much less a rejection. Leon’s eyes flicker from the puddle of urine to the streaks of it running down your pant legs and back, over and over. It’s the one time you wish he could look at your face instead.

“Leon,” You plead, wiping your tears away messily.

“Right, right,” Leon inhales deeply, exhaling slowly to get a grasp of the situation. “yeah.”

He coughs into the sleeve of his letterman, “Can you walk to the bathroom?”

You fluster, brows furrowing.

“Of course I can,” You frown, sniffling. He’s treating you as if you’re mentally challenged, annoyance starting to swell in your chest.

Leon raises a brow, a silent question in his expression. “So do it then?” it says.

After some brief hesitation, you turn and fumble towards the bathroom, grimacing at the uncomfortable feel of your wet pants, the fabric rubbing against your skin nastily and making you feel itchy. You can hear Leon opening and closing some doors behind you, likely peering into the cleaning closet in an attempt to find something to clean the mess you left behind with. Hopefully he doesn’t use bleach, that doesn’t smell well when mixed with pee.

With shaky fingers, you flip the light switch up, illuminating the room in an instant. It smells nice in here ‘cause mom keeps it clean, who uses all sorts of chemicals and powders strong enough to knock anyone out. A whiff of urine makes your face screw up almost immediately though.

With a grunt, you pull your pants down clumsily, the material sliding down your legs with a wet noise after some effort and landing on the floor with a heavy plap. Hopefully the pee washes out. Those were your favorite pants. You follow up by removing your undies, letting them fall carelessly onto the floor beside your pants. Now you’re naked from the waist down, skin prickling with goosebumps. You really need a shower, like, right now.

“Hey,” Leon’s voice comes from behind, startling you. “I finished cleaning the… pee…” He trails off, eyes on your bare ass. For a moment, he stares, eyes eventually rising to your face— only to come down to your ass again. And again, face then ass. Mostly ass.

“Dude!” Your voice wavers, embarrassed. You turn your body to hide, but end up giving him a full view of your front too. “Get out!”

Leon keeps his eyes on you, slowly shutting the door behind him and locking it with a soft click.

“I thought you wanted me to help you?” He says casually, his demeanor incomprehensible to you. He looks down at the discarded clothes on the floor, clicking his tongue and wrinkling his nose. “That’s… nasty.”

You stammer, words lost on you. Leon doesn’t wait for you to use your brain, moving forward, making you feel the need to step back.

“You know, most big brothers wouldn’t help their little brothers at all. Especially for situations like this.” He says quietly, eyes intently on your face now, making you squirm. Your hands clutch together at your front, feebly hiding your penis from view.

“S-so? What’s your point?” You glowered at him suspiciously, trembling with a mix of anxiety and confusion. You can’t help it. You’ve never gone this long talking to someone. It feels weird, but mostly dreadful. Stumbling over your words like a toddler is embarrassing, but they flow out faster than your thoughts can form.

Doesn’t help that your ass is bared too.

“My point is,” Leon rolled his eyes subtly, “you owe me.”

You squint your eyes. What?

“What? Owe you?”

“Owe me.” Leon confirmed with a nod.

Clearing your throat dryly, you lick your lips nervously.

“Okay,” Deep breaths, now, “owe you wh-what, exactly?”

Leon pauses, eyes glancing away for a moment before returning to yours.

“Dunno,” He shrugs. “That’s for me to worry about.”

Another pang of annoyance hits you, but this time it’s mixed with worry, making your chest tighten.

“Well then, are you going to help me or not?” You scowl. It’s unreasonably cold in the bathroom, the lack of warmth making you feel out of place. It feels like you’re talking to a stranger, and technically you are. Still, the only reason you can’t seem to figure anything out about Leon over a shallow level is because he’s annoyingly boring. Stupidly enigmatic; not in a cool way. Yeah, he’s popular in his little group of friends and what not, but that’s all he has going for him. He’s not interesting in the slightest.

Leon’s quiet for a moment, before vaguely gesturing to your top with a hand.

“Go on, get naked.”

“Excuse me?” You narrow your eyes.

“You know what I meant,” Leon counters, rolling his eyes openly now. “You act like I wanna gawk at you or something,” He scoffs, “what’s there to look at, huh?”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks, but you don’t give him the satisfaction of a response, simply grumbling under your breath, hands moving to take your top off.

You throw the shirt down onto the pile of dirty clothes bunched together on the floor, eyes briefly lingering on the graphic design plastered on the front of it. Naked now, you turn and fumble with the shower curtain, pulling it back.

Leon approaches as you step in, reaching for the soap inside the shower caddy.

“What are you doing?” You chew on your bottom lip, tired of asking questions but unable to help the gnawing anxiety strumming through your ribs.

“Helping.” Leon simply states, taking off his jacket and hanging it beside the fresh towels. His biceps flex with every movement he makes, the muscles in his arms well-sculpted. The sight makes you frown, but you have no one but yourself to blame for not having a good physique.

You don’t question further; you don’t want to. All of the previous adrenaline has washed down, leaving exhaustion in its wake. With a quiet hum, you turn on the water, wincing at the cold spray that hits you.

Cursing under your breath, you mess around with the handles until you have a decent temperature, sighing in relief. Despite the uncomfortableness of being thrust into all of this, Leon seems to be taking it well, and that concerns you. What if he’s plotting something? What if you’re put in a stockade tomorrow for people to throw tomatoes at and sodomize?

Well, whatever. He probably has his embarrassing reasons. Any consequences are a problem for future you.

Cold hands make contact with your back, making you squirm. Despite the roughness of his skin, Leon is surprisingly gentle with you, the rough material of a washing rag delicately rubbing against your shoulders making you shiver. The soap smells good, at least. Like pine and some other fresh scent you couldn’t depict. Maybe it’s Irish.

Many thoughts run through your mind, most of them nonsensical and humiliating. Here you are, awkwardly standing still like a loser while your stepbrother helps wash you as if you were a vegetable. The way he touches you is oddly intimate. His hands brush against sensitive spots every few minutes or so, making you shudder.

But it feels nice, you suppose.

It’s nice to feel clean and not be covered with piss.

You close your eyes, tense muscles starting to relax. Leon notices, his hands now lathering shampoo in your hair.

“…you’re a weird one, you know?” He mutters.

You only hum. Yeah, so? He’s weird too. He’s weird for actually helping you out and cleaning your piss puddle off of the floor. And for… whatever this is. It’s definitely not a normal stepbrother activity, that you know. It feels kind of dirty, but the contact feels nice. Nice enough to make you almost melt into the touch. He doesn’t have the right to call you weird, but neither do you.

A hand splays on your chest, lightly squeezing one of your pecs.

Jolting, your eyes snap open. Inching away from the touch, you frown.

“I’m not a girl, pervert.”

“Could have fooled me.” Leon snarked bluntly, squeezing once more. This time he did it apprehensively, as if unsure of what he was doing.

At least he has the decency to properly clean you, thorough in where he reaches. He passes the rag all over your body, down your chest and in between your legs.

A weird flutter settles in your chest, pooling down to your belly. It’s not a special one or anything, it just feels weird. Not bad, not good. Just different. Letting out a shuddered breath, you grumble.

“Just help me to my room already.”

And Leon does. He rinses the suds off of you and drains the water, halfheartedly wrapping a towel around your frame before assisting you out of the shower. He half leads half carries (but mostly carries) you to your room, his body flush against yours, occasionally bumping into you. Something hard pokes at your butt, and you know what it is, but you don’t say anything. Your increase in heart rate does though.

Leon makes you feel small, you figured. He’s not mean to you or demanding, but something about his attentive behavior makes you bashful. It unfortunately makes you want more. Maybe there’s something wrong with you. Maybe mom and dad didn’t love you like you wanted them to. Leon doesn’t either, but this is fine. Any attention is good attention, as long as you can handle it without pissing yourself.

You’re pathetic for that, you know. You’re no bark and no bite, the worst of both worlds.

A towel ruffles your hair, interrupting your thoughts. Face scrunching up, you huff, withstanding the process as best as you could.

“Cold?” Leon asks gruffly, wrapping the towel he was using on your hair around your shoulders, accompanying the other one. It’s wet, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“Yeah,” You mumble, feeling shy. You’re trying your best to stay strong and confident, but the more the spotlight rests on you, the more vulnerable you feel.

Staring down at your lap, you fiddle with the towels surrounding you, trying not to pay attention to the weight of the spot beside you sagging, Leon’s body warm against your side. It’s odd, you think. His body is warm, but his hands are always cold.

He scoots closer, pausing for a moment when he’s flush against you, hesitating.

The tip of his nose presses against the top of your head, inhaling deeply. You shudder, but don’t move. Leon wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you both back into the bed.

“Smells nice,” He sighs, nosing the crook of your neck. The towels around you loosen their grasp, threatening to expose you completely. He doesn’t seem keen on releasing you any time soon, his movements slow but purposeful, curious. “Better than the pee smell.”

A soft noise escapes you, squirming slightly. “What’s up with you?…” You ask quietly, embarrassed. You know, yeah. He’s hard against your hip, pressing his crotch into you. Has he been hard the entire time? You wouldn’t know that, it’s not like you stare at his crotch 24/7. You know he’s hard right now, but you don’t know why.

“Dunno,” He says, holding you tightly against his chest, face pressing into your throat, “just like how you looked.”

You hum confusedly, an imploring look on your face.

“You know,” He groans, “the stupid look on your face. The one that looks like you got scared shitless. Like when you pissed yourself.”

That doesn’t make any sense, but okay. You don’t question his psyche.

You loll your head back, letting out a small breath. Like a fish on a hook, Leon’s reeled in immediately, his lips planting against the exposed flesh of your neck. He doesn’t kiss though, not yet. He rubs his face against you, like a cat claiming territory or a dog showing affection.

His hand finds your chest, squeezing just like he did at the shower. It makes you furrow your brows in displeasure, chewing on your bottom lip. “Don’t— that’s…” you grunt, “that’s for girls.”

“Feels like a girl’s tits to me,” Leon huffed snidely, ignoring your words and squeezing again. His fingers pinch your nipple lightly, toying with the bud.

His other hand snakes down your body, splaying out over your tummy. “Are all boys this soft?” He hums against your Adam's apple, finally using his lips to kiss at the spot. You mewl, slightly disoriented.

“No…” You close your eyes, “I don’t know… don’t you?”

“I’m not gay.”

You roll your eyes at that, pushing back against the mattress to get comfy.

“Me neither.”

The hand on your tummy trails down, fingers teasing your pubic region. You grunt, thighs spreading a little, a silent invitation. Your heart is pounding against your chest and your skin feels clammy, but this is the most attention you’ve had in days that isn’t coming from yourself.

Sighing heavily, you push your chest into the hand playing with it, feeling impatient.

“Leon…” You sigh again, agitation behind it.

Leon gives in, cupping your cock and balls in his free hand in one go, squeezing gently. He feels you up for a hot minute, grabbing you in his fist and starting to rub the length slowly.

You buck your hips slightly, moaning. The dual stimulation makes you feel all tingly, brain fuzzy with pleasant static. It’s nice enough to make you forget a thing or two, but Leon is being annoyingly slow. Not that you’d vocally complain.

He keeps his face buried in your neck, occasionally pecking at your skin or licking a sensitive spot. The heat of his breath against your already warm flesh makes you sweat. Uncomfortable, you tilt your head to the side.

Leon decides he can’t multitask, removing the hand on your chest to instead use it to tilt your head back to face him, his lips leaving your neck to kiss you on the corner of your mouth.

He pecks and kisses wantonly, but it’s nothing special. You move your mouth to his deliberately, pressing further for a deeper kiss. Leon’s a bit put off by the action, but he follows your lead, soon taking over by slotting his tongue into your mouth, slipping it through your parted lips.

Eyes drooping, you sigh into his mouth, suckling on the wet muscle lazily. Squeezing your thighs together subconsciously, you shudder at the amount of precum that has oozed from your tip to your balls, inner thighs sticky and wet. All this rubbing and squeezing is doing nothing for you, so you whine into Leon’s mouth.

He squeezes your dick in response, making you buck your hips again. But it’s not enough. Too little, too slow.

Panting, you pull back from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips.

“Leon—“

His lips come crashing down into yours again, silencing you. Only making a soft noise of complaint, you go back to suckling on his tongue, pacified. Some part of you wonders if that’s how he jerks off his own cock. It would explain a lot, somehow.

Despite the slow pace, the squeezing and rubbing is a surprisingly nice change from the usual fast pumping you tend to do. It’s not much, but the more Leon does it, the more each squeeze is accompanied by a surge of pleasure, an exciting buzz settling in your tummy.

You start panting, whimpering softly now. Leon catches onto your oncoming orgasm pretty quickly, increasing the pressure in some of the contact while continuing to lick into your mouth all nastily. It’s sloppy and gross, the way you exchange saliva and spit with a man supposed to be your stepbrother. You couldn’t imagine anyone else doing this with you, though.

The lack of oxygen makes you dizzy, but that’s a nice addition to the flurry of sensations strumming through you right now. Moaning, you wrap your arms around Leon, clinging onto him tightly.

He bumps and grinds his cock against your hip, precum staining the front of his pants. He doesn’t seem to be in a rush to fuck you though, content with dry humping your leg like a sniveling chihuahua.

Another squeeze on your cock and the coil snaps without warning, leaving you gasping and moaning into Leon’s mouth while cum spurts out your slit in ropes, each one landing on your tummy.

Leon groans, his lips pressing against yours hard enough to bruise, his hips stuttering against your leg. He humps the last of his own orgasm into you, shuddering as cum seeps through his underwear and onto your skin, the fluid sticky and warm.

Parting from the kiss, you mewl, eyes glazed over with ecstasy and body trembling with delight. For once, the silence with another person is enjoyable, and you couldn’t care less about anything else that has happened today. At least, not at the moment.

You dread the moment you’ll have to talk about what you just did, but right now you’re content. Glancing over at Leon, you worry a little, hoping he didn’t just wanna pump one and dump you to the side. You expected it, but that didn’t particularly mean you wanted it to happen.

He turns his head to look at you, and you frown a little, anxious as to what the expression on his face could mean. He looks like he doesn’t like anything all the time, and it’s stressful.

The look in his eyes is complicated, but you don’t have time to contemplate it. He ducks his head and steals another kiss from you, nipping your bottom lip lightly. You could jump for joy.

“Remember,” He mumbles against your lips, “you still owe me.”

You blink. You would’ve thought that this was what Leon wanted to get from you, but maybe you were wrong. You don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

“I thought this was?…” You ask confusedly, trailing off.

“Nah,” Leon hums. “this was…” he thinks for a moment, “a tester. Y’know, like tryouts.”

“For what?” You squint, licking your lips and tasting the slight metallic tang from the nip.

Leon shrugs. He’s unsure of what he really wants here— with you, that is. He doesn’t want to think about it, not when all he wants to do is rest in post-orgasmic haze.

“You don’t mind, do you?” He asks instead, eyes examining your face, trying to get a read of your expression.

You think for a moment, before mirroring his shrug.

“No, not really.”

[goodday-goodmorn]

Back on this account: Prefacing this that this work was wrote in like a day and like most of my things- i was too lazy to edit lol. The concept form todays work was injected into my brain by good old @auspicioustidings, check em out- they got some cool concepts and fics. (Particularly Firewatch- chefs kiss to that series), lots of soft, dark, kidnap-y, COD content 👍

Without further ado i present my impulsive thoughts on a page:

——————

“Committed to the Bit.”

words: 4.7k

Summary: You’re at an utterly boring halloween party, about to leave when some scottish man dressed as a solider comes slinking into the bathroom and really goes ham with his whole ‘This place is dangerous, you aren’t supposed to be here- we gotta get you to safety’ act. Weird pick-up line approach but hey it fucking works. He’s just charming enough for you to play along with his bit. Because it is just a bit… right?

This party was kinda dull. Which really was a shame considering how high your expectations were. From what your friend said- it was supposed to be an immersive experience. The hosts were apparently old collage buddies with your friend who were halloween fanatics.

You friend has absolutely hyped them up, talking all about how when they threw parties they got into them and would always play up whatever dynamic they were going for with their costumes. Even to a level of mild public humiliation.

She once recounted the story of how one year, when dressed as a pair of vampires, they full on acted as though they were melting when someone brought a side of garlic breadsticks with the pizza. Fully committed to the bit it seems.

Because of the hosts being so dedicated to their act, of course it wasn’t uncommon for guests to act in a similar manner. Even those who didn’t have a running gag for the night were overall relaxed and had a good time being apart of the fun. It was a non-judgmental zone, filled with pretty decor and open people.

So of course, after hearing all about the welcoming and fucking amazing vibes of these parties- you had agreed to meet up with your friend at one.

Normally, you weren’t really one for parties, especially halloween ones because it was typically full of judgey, horny, strangers who would consider you weird- and you’d have to small talk and the songs almost always sucked because of course they couldn’t play actual halloween songs even if it killed them.

But after many reassurances from your friend, including videos and photos she had graciously provided you- you went to one.

To say you were disappointed was an understatement.

The costumes were amazing- high quality and expensive, hell the place was fucking stunning, all decked out in halloween gear and dark lighting. Even the building itself seemed perfect for this sort of thing- winding corridors, random locked rooms, ominous men in suits. Oh and don’t get you started on the snack table, shit was heavenly even if you were the only one touching it. The aesthetics of the party were great, But…

The vibes were way off. There was no rambunctious fun laughter and people grooving on the dance floor. Everyone seemed oddly reserved. Committed to their bits for sure, but well… there wasn’t much ah, variety to everyone’s act.

They all shared a similar vibe of like- domineering power. Which was definitely pretty fucking hot when it came to some people, (looking at you fancy vanpire lady), but it got boring after a while.

Safe to say your attempts at socializing were pretty shot. And what’s even worse, your friend? Yeah she didn’t even show up.

Tragic truly. You would call her to see if she made it here yet, but your phone was dead- and talking to any of the other party goers was a song and dance you didn’t wanna attempt again.

So here you are, in the bathroom, sitting by one of the sinks and charging your phone.

How lame.

You sigh, standing up to check yourself out in the mirror. At least your costume is fun, it’s a reference that only really you and you friend would get, but still, it made you happy to wear. It was a royal outfit, you looked like nobility, nice and fancy. Perhaps a barron, or maybe a princess, or a king- really it was up for anyone's interpretation. You fix up the head accessory, then fuss with your hair just to have something to do.

Maybe you should just leave, you were getting pretty bored of everything.

And it’s at that moment, as you’re sinking down to the bathroom floor to grab your charger that the most interesting thing of tonight bursts through the door.

You look at him, blinking once then twice. He does the same.

Eye candy.

That’s the first thought that comes to mind. Without an ounce of shame you let your eyes rack over his form, fitted in some sort of military outfit, tactical gear and even a prop gun. He makes it look damn good.

And then you stop admiring the hunk of prime meat in front of you because starring is rude. (Even if he is fucking amazingly charmingly rugged and god damn what you wouldn’t give to run your fingers through that mohawk of his and just tug-)

“That’s a good fucking costume.”

He pauses, looking at you with something confused and a bit bemused. And like an idiot you just can’t keep your mouth shut and blurt out more shit.

“Did ya have to bust through the door though? I mean like- don’t get me wrong it was cool as shit- really adds to the character here, big, hot, ah… military? guy.”

You wince, you’re making a fool of yourself. Luckily the man doesn't seem to mind.

(Johnny takes one look at you, your bag in a sink, your phone charging in the bathroom outlet, your clearly partly homemade costume that shows way more care than any of the other people in this joint and easily figures out-)

“L.T, Found a civvie.”

He mumbles into a- oh shit he’s got an earpiece and everything. Now that is cool. You tell him as such.

“Okay that is so fucking cool. Dude does that thing actually work? Man. How long did it even take for you to get this whole costume?”

He studies you with an odd look for a moment. You wonder if there’s actually anyone talking to him in that earpiece. Must be with the way he pauses. Slowly, he speaks; gentle.

“Not a costume lass. We ought to get you outta here, it's gonna be a shitshow soon.”

You blink. And then, you smile.

“Rightttt, not a costume. I getcha.”

“Not joking bonnie. This place is dangerous, filled with snakes. How did a wee thing like you even get in here?”

You smile, a bit pleased to banter with the first person who isn't doing the same old same old, ‘i know more than you, ooo im so big and powerful and scary’ act.

“Took a carriage ride and promised my roommate I'd be back by midnight.”

He eyes your royal esc outfit, not cinderella by any means but it still makes him smile slightly. (And boy if that isn't a sight, him looking you up and down and looking at you like that?)

“Cute. Then allow me to be yer escort princess.” He jerks his head in the direction of the bathroom door.

The statement is said with just enough sarcasm to make you bite down a grin. Hes very committed to this whole military operation act. And honestly? You were ready to leave anyway. Not to mention this guy was the only one who’d gotten your interest all night.

You grab your things and stuff them in your bag, slinging it over your shoulder tightly.

“Follow me, and ye gotta be quiet. Cant let anyone see us.”

You are more than willing to go along with his silly bit. And so you give him a clumsy salute, with a good natured smile.

“You got it captain.”

“Sergeant.”

He corrects you with an amused little puff of air. Clearly- hes just as pleased to have someone indulge him as you are to have someone interesting to talk to.

“You got it sergeant.” You repeat back with a graceful little half bow and amused smirk.

He turns back to the door, hands on his gun and before you go out you grab onto his arm.

“Wait!”

He turns to you with a raised eyebrow, eyes sharp, focused: wow hes a really good actor and hes got really pretty fucking eyes-

“Lassie?”

Oh yeah you can't get lost in his eyes just yet.

“Can I have a gun? For safety and all that- totally.”

“Hen… i don't think-”

“please sergeant? I promise I won't break it or anything! I just wanna get more into character ya know? pretty please Sir…?

…

(Johnny is not a good man. And fuck when he hears you call him by his rank, sir, asking so sweetly- your hands clasped in front of you- looking at him with a sheepish grin and pleading eyes. He wants to give you a damn bazooka if it means you keep talking sweet to him. Ghost is in his ear, telling him he better not bloody dare.)

(So of course…)

“You keep that safety on boonie. Hold it like this. If you gotta use it, don't be shooting or you’ll blow yer eye out. You toss the bloody thing in the direction of whatever it is you’re tryna hit- or you hand it to me. Is that clear?”

You nod vehemently, assuring him with little, yep’s and sure’s, and got it-’s. He raises a brow, mostly cause hes not sure if you’re actually taking this seriously. You take it for something else entirely though and then quickly say-

“Yes sir. Understood.”

(...Johnny is both damn disappointed hes on a mission, and greatful as fuck, because the only thing he wants to do is push you up against that wall, sneak his hands down your silly little costume and tease you until you’re a squirming mess. Asking you if you understand how hard hes gonna fuck you and hear your breath hitch as you answer back with a wanton “Yes sir”—)

“Sergeant…?”

You stare at the fellow and his intense gaze, wondering if you took it too far. Hes committed to his bit sure, but you didn't mean to overstep and make him feel like he had to give you a gun. Clearly they were expensive props, detailed and metallic and heavy.

Instead of speaking to you, he speaks to his earpiece, “just a precaution L.T, what if her majesty gets cornered? Little lass don't have a lick of combat training.”

You -far to ready to add to this stupid little bit- chime in,

“Yeah, they only teach you fencing and the waltz where i'm from.”

Johnny grins, “Com'on L.T”

(As much as Ghost hates to admit it- Johnny is right. And so be begrudgingly relents. It seems everyone is amused by how utterly oblivious you are because Gaz spares a laugh and a cheeky comment after Ghost's gruff voice.)

“Soooo… what's the verdict Sergeant? Did your uh… LT? That's lieutenant right-? Does he approve?”

In response, Soap carefully positions a gun in your hand, telling you with an edge to keep your fingers away from the trigger. (Safety is on of course, Johnnys not an idiot all the time.) You nod, holding onto the gun and feeling so cool.

Like that the two of you are off, sneaking around the winding corridors and hiding.

Honestly? This is the most fun you’ve had since you got here. Its all you can do to not bounce on your heels when you follow Soap around.

He's just so into this, that you can't help but be sucked in. Speaking in low tones to his ear peice, making sure you stick close, talking about positions and other military jargon that goes over your head. Oh and he does it all with this charming smile, like the situation is serious yes- but like he's still making sure you’re having fun. Trying to keep you comfortable. The energy is tense but in a good way. Electric even.

You find yourself holding your breath whenever you hide behind a corner, or when he tugs you to him and holds you still- god it's just so thrilling. Maybe because you’ve had a boring night, and cause he's charming and fun in all the right ways- but you’re having a blast.

Even when things seem to get even more tense.

You and Soap are currently nestled away in a little nook, a back corridor, a dead end. Soap curses, speaking into his earpiece. You can hear footsteps, someones coming. And if they see you and Soap- you'll surely be compromised.

(Which means your little game will likely come to an end. Most of the party people here are judgmental, ergo they probably won't appreciate your little roleplay. Its in this moment that you decide- fuck it, you dont want this to end.)

“Sergeant!” You whisper harshly, tugging off your fancy coat and draping it around him, “I’ve got a plan- trust me.”

He looks at you, mildly conflicted, he's about to say something but the footsteps are getting closer and you really need a cover story for why you’re lurking in a dark corner away from the party. You can only think of one reason two people would sneak away at a party.

Sue you for getting too into this silly game of pretend, but adrenaline spikes and next thing you know; you’re kissing him.

Rough and messy, needy. You let out your best wanton muffled moan. His eyes are wide, and for a moment you spiral, realizing what you’ve just done. Sure you were playing pretend and he was committed to the bit but you just kissed him for fucks sake- sexually harsssed him!

Oh god hes gonna hate you and you just ruined all that fun banter and any shot at ever speaking to the only decent person you’ve met all night—

He’s kissing back.

With sudden haste he pulls you close, kissing you back with a ferocity that short circuits your brain for a moment. His knee slots in between your legs, entangling you two, and then there's a soft thud as his back hits the wall.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Your heart races, a slurry of adrenaline, of elation because he was playing along with your silly cover story, of something hot and molten because he was running his hands along your outfit desperately.

Amidst the heat of it all, the grinding of his knee between your legs- you don't even notice the fact that the footsteps stopped. Johnny does though. He breaks the kiss with a purposeful loud noise, when he sees your dazed and confused expression however- he quickly aims for your neck before you can say a word and accidently give away the clever cover story you thought of.

You gasp, the noise does wonders. He can hear whoevers about to round the corner shifting about, obviously realizing what's going on and debating if they should check to be sure or spare their eyes of the sight.

So of course, Johnny helps them decide by laying it on thick.

“Fuck atta girl hen, wanna hear you fall apart f’ me.”

He presses you against his knee, nibbling at your skin to make your breath stutter. Thankfully, you catch his words and seem to get at least to some level what he's doing.

So of course, because god damn it- you’re in the thick of this silly military operation act now- you’ve gotta commit. You moan out the worst thing you can think of to make someone go away. Which is of course—

“Daddy!”

(Johnny can hear Gaz fucking roaring with laughter over coms. It takes everything in himself not to laugh then and there. Luckily, having a pretty little thing pressed against his knee and trembling provides a good distraction. Still, he can't repress the grin.)

“Yeah? Need something kitten?” He captures your lips again, a quick kiss this time, just to leave you breathless for your next remark.

“Y-Your c-” Oh my fucking god you dont know if you’re struggling to speak because you’re trying your damndest not to laugh, or because you are painfully terribly aroused at due to his kisses and husky voice. Thank god he intervenes.

“Whats that kitty? Yer gonna have to speak up. Lemme hear that sweet voice of yours.”

He guides you across his knee, you tangle your hand in his hair, tugging that stupid mohawk close to kiss him again.

When you quickly pull away, you rush out the words, failing to hide the look of pure hysterical amusement on your face- luckily the rush of words is mistaken for neediness and not because you are seconds away from bursting into laughter.

“Your cock-”

He captured your laughter in another kiss, groaning to hide the sound of your stifled snickers.

Finally, after what seems like ages and yet too little time- he hears Ghost in his ear giving him the all clear. Not without clear amusement.

Johny backs off, panting heavily and listening. He hears nothing but empty air. Quietly he whispers,

“They’re gone.”

You pant as well, trying your best to keep your hysterical little giggles quiet. Johnny is right there with you, like fucking schoolgirls- the two of you giggle for a moment.

Ah but you should probably apologize.

“H-Hey im sorry by the way- for kissing you out of the blue like that, i didn't know if you’d be comfortable with it but uh- i kinda got invested in the whole-”

You wave a hand about as he backs off you, pulling his knee away from your heat between your legs.

“-‘Don't get caught’, thing. Sorry if i um- took it too far and make you uncomfortable…”

(Johnny looks down at you, pretty little oblivious thing, looking all sheepish and nervous as if there wasn’t the high potential you just saved both his and your asses with your quick thinking.)

“All good lassie. Good quick thinking.”

(As much as he’d love to tease you more about it- or even tell you just how much he enjoyed kissing you until you were breathless- he’s still on a mission, and you need to keep moving.)

(So for now, he settles for a hair ruffle and a wink. You smile all the same.)

The pair of you continue, and you are starting to wonder where you’re going. This ain’t the way you came in- though, you suppose coming in via the main entrance would defeat the point of the game. Which was of course: to sneak you out undetected. Walking through the hall of party-goers probably wouldn’t be the best call.

Still, it's odd when you find yourself stopping at a room. It appears to be locked, a passcode and everything. This doesn’t seem to be an issue though.

(“Intel says they left the hard drive here. Code is 269344041.” Johnny listens to Ghosts voice, inputting the code easily. He ignores the confused look you end him in favor of mumbling-)

“a’m in.”

You blink as he talks to his earpiece. Carefully and quietly as you enter the room, you ask,

“Um… sergeant? What are we doing in here?”

“Looking for a package hen.”

(“Should be in a small red box.” Ghost relays.)

“-Little red box. Help me look?”

You nod like the helpful little thing you are and begin to search the room. It’s a storage unit of sorts. Bunch of random shit, you even spot a cool ass box of skeleton bones. That you show to your newfound companion.

He grimaces and gently sets the box down away from your hands.

“Let’s not touch anything else alright lassie?”

It’s framed as a question but really it’s an order. You just shrug, and then remember your line was supposed to be, ‘yes sir.’

“Yes sir.”

The search doesn’t take long after that, a few minutes max before you spot a little red box high up on a shelf. All the things around it are collecting dust, but the dull red colored cardboard seems to be free of it. Placed there recently it seems.

Maybe this whole immersive thing was planned out, and maybe it was pure luck you got roped into it. Everything was awfully elaborate after all. With him knowing the code and stuff.

“Sergeant i think i found it.”

He’s on you in and instant,

“Where?”

You point up the shelf. “That it?”

He carefully grabs it, opens it up and shuts it before you can get a good look. Looked kinda like a flash drive? A flash drive inside a plastic baggie.

“That’s what we’re looking for alright. Good work lassie. Ye might as well be a recruit at this point.”

He’s joking it seems, so you smile back in turn.

“Lived a bit too cushiony of a life for military work i’m afraid.” You gesture once more to your royal outfit. “But i’ll consider the offer sergeant.”

He takes you by the arm, tucking the box into his vest and leading you to the door.

“Glad to hear it princess.”

After that, it’s more sneaking about, more little bits of banter whenever you can, and listening to him speak into his earpiece. It’s dreadfully fun, the most fun you’ve had all night and honestly? At any party ever.

Finally- Finally, you seem to make your goal as you feel open air on your skin. That took forever to get out, with how massive the place was, but by god it was fun sneaking around like a super spy with…

Oh. You come to the sudden realization that you don’t actually know his name. That and- you never gave him your name either.

Well, this is where you leave so…

“Hey i just realized i never got your name.”

He turns to you for a brief moment, his hands on your arm now, tugging you along away from the building so that the bouncers at the front won’t see you. The two of you stop a little ways away.

“Soap. Or Johnny if you’d prefer.”

He says it so simply, with such an easy smile.

“And you princess?”

You say your own back, and it sounds so nice on his tongue. So right.

“Um- if you wouldn’t mind-“ You’re fishing in your bag now for your barely charged phone, wanting to get his number because he seems like a stand up dude and-

Soap touches his earpiece, “Package and civilians secure L.T. Good to go.” He says it quiet enough you don’t hear it, too busy looking for your phone.

(“Roger. Gaz move in.”)

“-could i maybe get your number? After i find my phone, of course. it’s just uh, well i had a lot of fun. Truth be told the night was pretty shit before you found me so if it’s okay with y-“

Your eyes widen when you see behind Soap, several Military troops storming the place, all of them holding what look to be- very real guns.

“What the fu-?”

You start, dropping your phone in a shock and completely shattering the poor device against the pavement.

Johnny can’t seem to bite down his grin.

Slowly, and yet all too fast, everything clicks as soon as you hear gunshots.

At a snails pace your head turns towards Johnny. Soap. The sergeant. The real sergeant.

“I did tell ya it wasn’t a costume hen.”

You were such a fucking idiot.

——————

Awkwardly you sit in your chair, taken in for interrogation. Less that and more for protocol considering everyone agreed you didn’t know jack shit.

Apparently, you went to the wrong party and somehow ended up at a terrorist gathering, which would explain the weird vibes of all the guests. And the super big and confusing building. And the many locked doors. And the—

The more you thought about it, the more stupid you felt so at some point in the hours of being on this stupid military base, you stopped.

To your utter horror and humiliation: Soap was a real sergeant. On a real mission. And he gave you a real ass fucking gun. And you had kissed him and oh god he had his knee between your fucking legs- you called him daddy.

Physically unable to handle the shame and embarrassment, you make a noise similar to that of a dying cat and bury your face in your hands.

The person ‘interrogating’ you, (a nice man that everyone called Gaz), just laughed. At the very least your misery was amusing.

“I am- so, so so fucking sorry, oh my god i’m such an idiot.”

“Don’t worry about it love. It helped to keep you calm. Better than dealing with panicking eh?”

You nodded because he made sense. It didn’t mean you were happy about it- but it did make sense. Soap tried to tell you after all. Honestly it was probably for the best you thought it was all a joke. Who knows what you would have done if you knew it was for real, probably panicked and gotten both yourself and him killed.

Gaz pats your head, an amused but sympathetic smile on his face.

(God fucking damn it, were all sergeants just naturally this fucking charming??? …You don’t have a thing for military guys do you?)

When the captain of this whole thing walks in, John Price; with a smile like that of a damn koala bear and air of authority- you decide that, yeah. Maybe you do have a thing for military types.

Go figure.

“You're free to go love.”

You sigh with relief, mostly because you don’t physically think you can handle anymore embarrassment. Your face is starting to hurt from all the cringing you’ve been doing. How are you ever gonna live this down?

“Afraid your phones broken though. Do you know the way home?”

No. Obviously not. You were taken here via military truck with the other soldiers. Frankly you could be in a different country right now and you wouldn’t know because you passed out at some point from the sheer embarrassment of it all.

(Price of course, knows this. He just wants to see you squirm a little longer. Is it wrong? Yeah. But he’ll be damned if you aren’t the most fun thing to mess with.)

“Um no- sir.” You tack on the title quickly, unsure exactly what to call him.

“Alright. I’ll have one of my men escort you home.”

As long as it’s anyone but Johnny you should be able to survive a car ri-

“Soap.”

Fuck.

“Take my car and escort the little lady back home.”

…You just had to think it, didn't you?

(Price knows he’s cruel for messing with you. Mean and terrible really. But the face you make when he calls Soap into the room? Where you look like you go through every stage of grief before landing on depression in .5 seconds?)

(Priceless.)

——————

The car ride is just as excruciating as you thought it would be. Even worse- Soaps a good guy. Charming and fun, sweet even. He jokes and teases you but tries his damnest to make the car ride as comfortable as possible.

Hell he even offers to stop someplace and buy you something for the road. And offer you not let would refuse; but you were at the base for hours, and it’s like 2 AM and you are exhausted and hungry and embarrassed.

So the two of you get some takeout, and eat in Prices car. You would be worried about eating in the car, but Soap makes you comfortable, assuring you the captain would probably be more upset if he let you go home on an empty stomach.

The rest of the drive is cozy after that. He pulls laughter out of you, and embarrassed groans but it’s all in good fun.

By the time you get home, you’re most definitely a little unsteady on your feet just due to how tired you are. He helps you out of the car, and even walks you to your door.

Before he leaves, you awkwardly debate giving him your number. Just so you could buy him drinks or something later down the line to make up for your utter stupidity today- but then you remember your totaled phone.

Damn.

And then, a god seemingly hears your prays because he’s slipping you a sheet of paper.

Drowsily you blink down at it to find a king number string. A phone number.

When you snap your eyes back up to him, he’s grinning.

“You wanted it right lass? Give me a call sometime.”

And then, he’s winking and walking away. Just like that.

…huh. Maybe you should go to parties more often.

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

HI ERIC HELLO PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

i literally can't stop thinking about something

i loveee re6 AUs with luis, but

death island!luis !!!!

specifically, a scenario where he saves leon instead of/with rebecca. like imagine him working with rebecca on the vaccine and delivering it to the island to save leon and the rest 😭😭

and i actually see two scenarios here

either luis is obviously alive and all, and leon knows it, and it's just, hey! my husband's here to save the day!!

OR it's a big reveal lol. rebecca shows up there like, 'a friend helped me', and it's LUIS there with her. like, i know rebecca is super capable and she made the vaccine all alone in the movie , but just imagine if it was actually a bit more complicated, so she would have to reach out for help, and who would be better than luis

i NEED to see luis and rebecca team up, they'd work so well together 😭😭

and older serennedy!!!!! omg

i just need to see older luis 😭😭 and the parallel with him delivering the suppressant in re4, and now the vaccine

i don't know what i wanted to say with this and i really didn't think it through that well, and it's rushed, but i really need to share these thoughts 😭

@silverhexrt HI SO UM. THIS ASK WAS SENT IN JUST OVER A WEEK AGO and it gave me SUCH AGGRESSIVE brain worms that I was like Oh this would make for SUCH a cute little Drabble!!!!! But then I just. Kept going. So I accidentally made a whole entire fic for you!! I really truly hope you don’t mind!!!!!!!!! ;^^/

I know this blog is more of a character analysis blog so if you or anyone else still wants to talk to me about the LOGISTICS of what Luis in Death Island would look like I’d be MORE THAN HAPPY TO RAMBLE cuz I am SO FASCINATED by how that would work character and legalities wise,,, but uh for now!! I hope you don’t mind this little thingymadgig I made!!!

Fatigue was the overwhelming sensation dragging Leon’s body down. His breathing was labored and his skin burned against the Velcro of his protective gear- far from unfamiliar territory in terms of the worst symptoms he’d survived. But this somehow felt so, so much worse.

Leon felt like he was dying. Like actually dying. Which was downright terrifying.

He hated that he even knew what dying felt like. Leon could easily pick up on the little ways his body began to shut down; it felt like he couldn’t breath in far enough to fill his lungs, his limbs felt weighed down by an invisible force, his vision was blurry… except, this time, it was his own body killing him from the inside-out.

He was much more used to- even comfortable with- the close brush of death being from the hands of a Bioweapon or loose debris crushing his body. Leon at least had some level of control in those scenarios. He could kick and wriggle and spit and cuss out whatever was holding him down until a miracle freed him and he could load bullets into the face of whatever was hunting him.

But Leon couldn’t run from his own body, no. And oh, how badly did he wanna run until his legs burnt beneath him.

Leon had only ever felt that inherent, gut-wrenching urge one other time. One other time when he was on the brink of death and freedom alike; warm tan hands and cold needles in an isolated village so far from home. Leon could’ve taken the medicine and ran. He could’ve watched the world burn from behind his lovers back as they chased windmills without a care in the world.

He could’ve faced death in the eye. He could’ve taken the blade of the knife for him. He could’ve been just a fraction of a second too late for Ashley. Oh, the possibilities.

What a weird time to be thinking about Valdelobos. Maybe it was just his oxygen-deprived brain desperately trying to connect the dots for one last dream. Like falling asleep with the TV on and having a dream about the movie you’d just watched. Arias had his own ‘inspirations’ from Los Illuminados, after all. Maybe he was just trying to think of one last happy memory to drift off to.

Leon hoped dying would be a little bit like falling asleep. He was never religious, never superstitious- but deep down he hoped that he’d be reunited with the loved ones he’d lost. Finally, finally getting the chance to feel those warm palms against his cheek that he missed oh-so dearly.

Leon sighed and let the concrete below his hands wobble a little. He could just barely make out Chris and Claire’s labored breathing from behind him- the only other thing keeping him grounded.

But god was it getting hard. He couldn’t tell if it was just the pure exhaustion or the virus or what, but Leon’s head felt so heavy. Heavy enough that it almost felt as though somebody was holding it up for him. He let himself pretend, just for a moment, that it wasn’t just his imagination. That the warmth on his cheek wasn’t his flushed skin and were instead the hands of a lover, keeping him upright and rested against a beating heart that Leon was sure was just the blood roaring in his ears.

He let himself pretend that the stroke he felt against his cheek was his lovers thumb. A lover so considerate that they’d wipe the blood off of his skin and tuck the loose hair behind his ears. He pretended that the murmuring of his ears giving in was somebody talking to him, whispering comfort in his final moments.

Leon almost let himself give in completely to the imaginary man holding him- the distant scent of leather and cigarettes felt so real, after all- but a cold prick against his neck and the immedie, cold relief of fluids beneath his skin snapped him back to reality.

His breathing came back to him in time with his heartbeat, his fingertips pulsed with the sudden pumping of blood, and…

The feeling of somebody holding him hadn’t gone away.

His cheek was still warm with another man’s hand. His nose still stung with the smell of leather.

His heart was still beating in time with somebody else’s.

Leon hesitated. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He knew he was just dreaming- that he’d look up and the vision of the man he yearned for every night would disappear like a mirage. He wanted to keep them closed and pretend for as long as possible. Until-

“Leon? ¿Corazón? Mierda, Rebecca, he’s not responding-“

Leon’s eyes opened just slightly.

He was staring down at the concrete, somebody must’ve moved him to get access to his neck easier. But he wasn’t dreaming. He wasn’t dreaming of the arms clad in white wrapped around his shoulders and the ringlets of curls that fell around his vision, shielding him from the fluorescent Alcatraz prison lights.

Warm hands went back to stroking his cheek.

Leon wasn’t dreaming.

“Leon? Oh, please wake up,”

His voice sounded so broken, so quiet. Leon had never heard of it like that. It broke his heart.

“I can’t- I can’t leave you here, not like this, not again, please…”

Leon couldn’t take it anymore. He was terrified to roll over and face the man he’d chased in his dreams for so long but he had no other option. He’d rather he disappear and it all be his imagination than hear him this sad ever again.

Leon turned his head and blinked up at Luis like a newborn deer. His big, brown eyes were wet with tears but that stupidly charming smile was unmistakable.

“Hey there, Leon…”

Luis managed to croak out, the hand against his cheek trembling from the tears. Leon reached his own shaky hand up to brush Luis’ long, grayed locks out of his face just as he had done moments before for him.

“I must be dreaming,” Leon huffed out, and Luis chuckled, shaking his head and the tears from his reddened cheeks at the same time.

“If you’re dreaming, then so am I, I’m afraid”

“I’ll take my chances.”

Luis chuckled and Leon wasn’t far to follow suit. Even with the end of the world on his shoulders- even with Dylan fighting tooth-and-nail to break down his, Jill’s and everyone else’s spirits- Leon still found time to laugh with Luis like it was autumn of 2004 all over again.

“Just like old times, eh, Sancho?” Luis gave a little sniffle, and while Leon had more than too many questions to ask- how he was even alive was obviously the most pressing- he just couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Yeah,”

He let himself rest his head against Luis’ chest. Heart beating strong, almost as if to mock Leon for ever doubting his lover's strength.

“Just like old times, Don Quixote…”

[johnslittlespoon]

HI I'M ALIVE i swear this is a pattern at this point, i post a new fic/chapter and disappear for a phat day (or two) lmaoo i literally get The Fear and i have to avoid notifs/comments for a bit <33

that being said, wept reading the comments on TAS, i'm so so thankful y'all are vibing with it because i was NERVOUS about posting my first ever modern au and i wanted to make sure it still felt true to the characters but everyone's been so unbelievably kind i'm so wahhahhhh :')) i appreciate the sweet words SO so much, it's so reassuring and so motivating <33

so motivating actually that i'm already halfway done ch2... whoops? litch rally buzzing with how excited i am to write, i don't think i've ever experienced this which sounds strange but like. okay hold i can already tell i'm gonna go on a tangent so let me cut myself off with a read more lmaoo

idk, does anyone else ever sometimes feel like even though obviously we all write fic for enjoyment because we do it for free, sometimes it feels like a chore? not in the sense that i feel obligated to write, but just that even though i feel passionately about what i want to write, it's just hard to get my brain into gear (adhd aside) even when i really want to. i'm just thinking out loudddd now but my concerta just kicked in so it's inevitable LOL word vomit and thought processing is apparently a necessary part of my writing process smh

writing yad(iym) has honestly been so helpful with this because one of the biggest things that i struggle with when writing is that i have a super vivid imagination and can picture exactly what i want to portray/convey, but sometimes i don't know how to get there, but with the dog coded fic i have the timeline of the actual show to follow, so it takes a lot of pressure off in that sense! it's sorta like filling in the gaps because i have something base level to work with.

but 99% of the time when writing, i don't have that, so i end up avoiding my docs often because i feel stuck in terms of progressing the storyline, and my writing process drags on so longgg. i'm finding too now that i'm writing my first (and second oops) actual long fic that oneshots are actually more difficult for me to finish for some reason despite most of mine being shorter than a singular chapter in my fics, which is funny because i was so terrified of commitment starting a chaptered fic but i've ended up being more consistent.

anyway point is, i adore writing yad(iym) and it's been the most fun experience i've had fic writing, but now that i've sorted out the world building aspects for tough and sweet, everything is just flowing and instead of having to sit myself down at my desk and kinda just force myself into the zone, i cannot drag myself out of my docs?? and i've never had that happen but i'm definitely trying to take advantage of it while it lasts and get as much written as possible!

i think it also helps that it's so lighthearted compared to the angst of yadiym (tho i've got some angst planned for tas too lol sry) so i don't have to think as much about the weight behind certain dialogue, or carefully plan out the progression of the relationship dynamic the way the time period/setting of yadiym requires. it's a nice breather from the constraints of the mota–verse (as much as it's still my favourite thing to read/write with these boys), but i also enjoy getting to sink back into that doc when i want something deeper than the little biker boys.

i'm still very much working away on yadiym tho to be clear!! i was scared to start tas before i finished it in case i hyperfixated on tas and my updates got slow on yadiym, but it's genuinely helped me find a balance because i'm always working on one if i'm not working on the other <3 i'm about half done ch6 too for yadiym (how many times can i type that in one post jfc), i'm just at an internal emotions heavy part which i Hate. writing lmaooo give me dialogue or smut and i can type away for hrs but introspection?? internal conflict? hell

ok that's all my fic related rambling thank uuuu/apologies if u sat thru all of that LOL lmk if your writing process/mindset is similar or not bc i'm always curious about how other people's brains work with this stuff!! also how does one get over feeling obnoxious about rambling on their own acc like. this is my acc. i could post 100 times a day if i wanted. i need to Relax good god

[morallygreyparents]

Blog Disclaimer

Hi all. I've been having some issues from folks regarding my content so I decided to make this post kind of as one big "trigger warning" if you will lol. I'm not going to share names for put anyone on blast but I did want to get something straight before you scroll.

This AU blog is geared towards 18+. It's not really pornographic or sexy, but it does have a lot of stuff that folks consider NSFW.

The following has been mentioned:

-Domestic Violence/Narcissistic Parents

-Alcoholism

-Male/Female bodily anatomy and pregnancy

-Heavy emphasis on male pregnancy

-Gender Roles

-Menstruation

-Swearing/Arguing

-Sexism

-Death

-Transformation

-Mafia Violence/Crime Violence

-I did write a fanfic that involves abortion but I might not post that here. If anyone is interested however, feel free to message me.

I will say that this AU does not reflect my personal beliefs. These are meant to experiment with the morality of fairies and characters and allows for a deeply flawed family and community. I'm the type of writer than develops characters through conflicts and likes to experiment with how the brain functions during these conflicts.

My blog is not meant for everyone and that is ok. I am not asking forcing anyone to like the stuff that I write. However, I do ask that if you do not like this style or writing or are uncomfortable with any of the above topics, then do not interreact. The point of my AU blog is to share my view of the fairy community, not to necessarily make people comfortable/uncomfortable.

I have written some fanfics in the past. However, I am thinking about taking most of them down because I do intend on toning down those topics to make them more realistic. As I re-read my stuff, I realize that Nora screaming in all caps 24/7 is poor writing and a lot of background and character stuff has changed since I made those posts. Again, if anyone wants to keep copies in case I decide to delete, message me.

Suggestions and questions are always welcome! However, messages complaining about my work or comments about your comfort levels will be blocked. I really don't appreciate censoring myself just because you don't like what I post. I don't mean to be harsh but that's how I feel.

Minors DNI as well

One last note, this disclaimer will be used in place of trigger warnings that people use in posts. I will ask before interacting that you read this note and decide for yourself whether or not it will trigger you. Comments about triggers or asking for warnings on individual posts are not welcome. Plus, I just don't feel like having to do that for every post.

I am not trying to be rude or intentionally make folks uncomfortable, but I don't want other people's triggers to control what I write.

[3gremlins]

okay i watched the da:tv gameplay trailer and some thoughts!

-gameplay looks pretty fun and fast and swishy (i know the crpg contingent will be upset but da2 is my favorite so i'm not mad about it at this point, fast combat makes my brain go ZING. i love bg3 but the combat takes so fucking long, i've got places to be, fam). The attack lines from enemies are kind of interesting? i'm not sure about them but it feels like it'll be a little more involved than dispatching all the nameless, brainless enemies we did in DAI/previously which could be neat? we'll see. the venatori still feel a little weak as enemies to me (like kinda boring, you need to fight someone type of enemies)

-excited to finally not have to choose between arrows and daggers as as a rogue (and the switch doesn't look terribly clunky? *stares at dao meaningfully*)

-i wish they'd shown the other classes a little bit (can we not switch to/direct our companions at all? i thought they said we could somewhere. not being able to switch to them would suck a bit, how else will i know what class i want to do next?*), or even showed the rogue at a higher level for more skillz (just the one's a little boring but understandable)

-would also love to see skill trees? are there skill trees?

-aesthetic looks fairly similar to dai tbh? i kinda wish it was more like the character trailers (i know unpopular opinion) actually, like a new swishy aesthetic for the swishy gameplay (like really reinvent yourself, put your whole chest into it, but also given the reaction to the character trailer i can see why they didn't feel they could/should)

-otherwise, it does look good! the hair especially, will have to see it in cc (have we finally been delivered from eyebrow caterpillars????)

-default rook looks so good! already feels like they have more innate personality than the inkys did (like hawke). -tho i hope we can dye their clothes/gear b/c i do not love the purple/yellow lol (have they mentioned about dyes at all? there's been so much info, it's a little overwhelming) -their voice is hot, oh no bioware and the hot voices again lol like might just do a pt with default human rook??? a thing i haven't done since da2 so that's a good sign (based on the concept art, it looks like there might be a "default" rook for humans, elves, qunari and dwarves which is sort of interesting? maybe they were just playing with it tho)

-already love neve, tho her hat/veil is still weird (it is dragon age, mages have to have stupid hats i guess). good luck neve cosplayers balancing a weird board on the side of your heads!

-love the dialogue wheel but am also biased b/c DA2 = <3 I hope the dialogue choices build up similarly to how they did in da2 (where you'd get unique dialogue options based on how sassy/nice/decisive you were)

-i am underwhelmed by the on the ground city design they showed idk some of the environments feel like stuff i've seen in the other da games a bunch (esp that last bit of rubble with the sliding into the solas area, like it looks very much like the first bit of dai where you fight the pride demon. but i also played that game too much and most people didn't so it might not matter).

-also having us fight a pride demon AGAIN in the introductory sequence feels kinda same-y (i'm sure it's supposed to be a nod, but it feels kind of re-tread). hopefully we get enemies that aren't demons/venatori (or at least not the same demons/venatori). Would have to see more to really decide but it did feel a little empty/dai-ish (negative) in the sequence they showed

-i know they're hiding plot stuff/unfinished things and probably more combat but every time the trailer went to a black screen with white text it felt like an "it's always sunny" meme like "The Gang interrupts an ancient ritual" XD and i could not take it completely seriously

-the varric/solas dialogue does feel a little weird, like i never felt they were all that close tbh (like it feels like the only person who could do that would be a friend/lover inquisitor). It also kinda felt like an Anders-redo to me, like putting the varric/anders friendship onto solas instead? idk didn't love it, but i get why it's there (narratively)

-varric is def going to die isn't he? i kinda hope so, like i love him but he also is starting to feel a little shoe-horned into things/a little overplayed (plus if they have to kill someone, he feels like a meaningful choice?)

-varric still looks weird with really dark hair, like i'm fine with him going grey but his hair was def redder/browner in previous games (hoping it's just the lighting/water?). hc that he's dyeing it for vanity reasons

-curious about the party choices where you take certain people with you, is it like ME where certain people need to do certain things or they'll die? and it's not obvious (like in suicide mission where if you want companions to live, leaving them behind to do a job is actually the better choice)

-the teaser silhouettes at the end there?!?! lets go unleashed, unhinged evanuris rampaging through thedas?!? **

-still really need solas to turn into a giant multi-eyed wolf (and have the option of a romanced lavellan inky talk him down), like we've gotten so much of the list already, pls bioware (♡ヮ♡)

----

tl;dr: i am most excited about the new companions! the combat looks like it'll be fun/fine, i am tentatively excited about the plot (there is a griffon but they did not show the griffon in this trailer which was foolish, i am easily won this way)/narrative beats. Will play for sure, but going to try to not get too excited (tooo late haha)

*like i'm not going to have 1000 pts and play all the classes but i still liked playing AS companions to get a feel for their skillz and stuff

**thinking about this more, i kinda wish they hadn't gone for the same grandiose opener as DAI and it was instead more of a murder mystery type of framing? like the veil's down, the evanuris are loose and they're not rampaging, they're doing subtle nasty things and we have to track them down (kinda like the forsaken in Wheel of Time). that would be an entirely different game probably tho lol

[ruinouss]

NAME: Mads

PRONOUNS: She/her

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?　Faye lol. Idk why I ever try RPing others. I'll be good for a while but I always come back to this idiot

◈　RP PET PEEVES?　I have a few but of course, I don't remember the majority now that I'm asked about it. But the main one is when I see someone complaining about not getting any interactions or anything and you and others have been liking starter/plot calls or sending memes over and over and nothing ever comes from it. In my own personal experience, the person crying about not getting interactions is only looking for it with a certain follower(s) but won't try and initiate the interaction. It's understandable if you legit are struggling for interactions and you get crickets but when it's clear people are trying to interact...man that grinds my gears. It's extremely inconsiderate and I usually bounce when I see that. Another thing is one-sided plotting/RPing. I usually always try and come up with a few ideas, even if they're basic or the usual trope because sometimes they turn into something exciting but this also depends on both people being open to trying to keep it moving. It's no fun when one person isn't giving anything to work with. Though, sometimes one person will have a good idea and can lead but again it needs some help from the other person. I have others I'm sure, but these are the two main ones. I like to think I'm pretty chill.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS　Close to 2 decades probably. I've been RPing since gaiaonline and AOL/Skype

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT　 All of it, I think there's a time and place for each. I do tend to prefer angst because I love character development and pushing characters to their breaking points and seeing them go beyond their limits or reacting in high-stress situations. I love it when they discover new things about themselves. Fluff is fun for shorter threads when you need something light hearted in between the angst lol. And then smut...well I'm so out of practice I refuse to even have it on my main blog lol. I don't need to embarrass myself. I think it's fine and fun but I do get tired of it if that's all there is. Again, I'm here for the character development.

PLOTS OR MEMES　 Either. I don't have a preference but I try and see what my partners prefer. Sometimes things work better when you plot things out so you have an idea to follow but sometimes, especially with new interactions its easier to just have a random meme. I also feel like sometimes it may take a few tries before you find the right thing that clicks for a good thread or character interaction.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES　 Depends on the day. Sometimes it's nice to have a shorter reply but I do admit sometimes they're hard for me to do because I want to make sure there's enough going on to keep a thread going. But sometimes the brain just doesn't want to work so longer threads, even if I'm super excited for it just don't happen.

TIME TO WRITE　Whenever I get the chance lol. Sometimes its easier in the morning because I haven't used all my brain power but its so rare I can even do so I take what I can get.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)　As far as Faye? Uhh...only a little bit lol. Mainly just her love of the ocean and space and the fact we're both red heads. But she's way more wild/reckless than I am and gives less fucks about what others think or say about her. She also is always looking for trouble to get into while I prefer to fly under the radar. My other muse I currently play on a different blog is also a level headed doctor so I guess with him we're both chill and love pineapple lmao. Even characters in the past I've only shared one or two things. I dunno, I deal with myself on the daily and would rather explore something different than myself. Obviously, I need some things to align so I can understand the character but eh.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁���　 the fantastic @ferinehuntress (thank you ;; )

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆　@vendettavalor @trashcollected @dimensionalspades @imprvdente @manufactoredxbyxdesign @musezieren @hellshire & anyone else

[m34gs]

Share your top 5 favourite Twisted Wonderland cards? 👀

Ooooh this is a fun ask! Thank you for sending this, friend :D I'm super excited to answer!!!! I'm gonna count them down to my number one favourite (so far), and I decided I'm only going to list cards I actually have at this time!

5. SR Labgear Idia: This card has two water spells and is a 'balanced' type. I really liked both images of Idia that came with it: the original and then the groovified! Plus, I felt the vignette was very cute. This is one of the cards I use the most in things like Fire Exams or when the Creator's Gauntlet has fire-based opponents!

4. SR Ceremonial Robes Floyd: I love Floyd Leech so so so much! He just makes me so happy :D I love his crazy antics and the way he is so authentically him. The vignette for this card really reflects that well! The Groovified image for it is so beautiful and colourful and gives off a carefree air; it makes me very happy. This card is defensive, so it has more points in HP than in Power, and the spells are Forest Strike and Aqua Wave II. I leveled the Forest Strike to level 5 so far, and the Aqua Wave II is at level 7. I use this card very often, and it is set as my support.

3. SR Beans Camo Jade: Jade is so cool and I also love his character very much. I love this card because it is also very interesting and meant to be a fun card. The bean blaster is Jade's weapon and I am addicted to the sound it makes when fired. The little 'pop!' rubs my brain the right way. This card is also Defense and spells are Flame Blast and Leaf Shot II. The reason I ranked this one higher than Floyd's is because this is the only Bean card I have so it feels very special.

2. SSR Ignihyde Gear Ortho: Are you surprised? Are you...shocked? LOL. How could I not love my Ortho card, my SSR one of him? The reason I choose this one over both my SR cards actually comes down to aesthetic. I love the blues and the purples in this card, and the way it all looks pretty and otherworldly. It just makes me feel so happy to look at. I could legit stare at it all day. This card is an Attack type, with Flame Blast and Water Shot II. I'm working to level it up a bit more, hopeful that I can use it for the boss fight at the end of Book 6.

1.SR Ceremonial Robes Idia: This is by far my favourite card. An Attack type with Flame Blast and Leaf Shot II. I use this one as much as I can. I actually teared up a bit for the vignette because it kind of hit me in some core emotions when I read it. The groovified version is actually the banner of my Tumblr blog right now. Idia just looks so pretty with his hair draped over himself like that, in ceremonial robes, with his pouty look and his headphones on...he's gorgeous. And yes. I also think it is funny and that he is Aoba's twin. But anyway, yeah, this one is my fave. It's my most leveled-up SR, and my second-most leveled-up card overall. I really just love it.

There you go! My top 5 favourite cards in Twisted Wonderland! Hope you enjoyed my response! (are you surprised Idia is in there twice? lol)

[farer-dreamer]

Entry 5

Visdev

9/28/2024

Not a whole lot to talk about, mostly just been putting together my pitch presentation and finalizing the production schedule. Aside from that I've been chipping away at some visdev stuff as I've worked on that, have a look!

Concept art for Press 'N Hold!

…This thing took a stupid amount of time because I thought "oh if I just do it in my painting style this'll be quick". I was wrong <3 This is why we thumbnail!! A thing I love forgetting to do for whatever reason, you'd think I'd learn by now.

// Inital sketch and WIP. Spot the differences lol (more below the cut!)

Cloudskipper

Oh god this one, heeeey so remember that Chase level concept? Well itsssss this now! I decided to shift gears and focus on making it a short platforming level. Admittedly I am still on the fence about this level's aesthetic. Originally I was leaning towards some sort of dark factory/facility where you'd have to evade a monster that's constantly chasing you, but then thought no, aesthetically that might be too close to the Half Floor level. So right now I've landed on this sorta hazy surreal dream vibe. I feel like I could go further with this and add some more just basic geometric structures to add more to the surrealist vibe I want to go for in the actual level.

I wound up spending some extra time chipping away with painting this one, so the version that was in my presentation and the final version are a bit different. I don't have an accurate idea as to how long this took, but all things considered it was probably less time than the Press 'N Hold art since I y'know, actually thumbnailed and prepared for this one.

// Thumbnails and WIP, the third was the unpolished version I wound up showing in class because it was 2 AM when I was rendering and I was gonna have to be running on 4 hours of sleep doing my pitch so you can imagine how that went 👍

Lots of Doc doodles. I wanted to get a better grasp on their silhouette to better figure out their proportions, so I would start by blotting out their basic shape with am orange marker and then lining over that. They're messy, but they're supposed to be!! A big thing I struggle with is allowing myself to just, draw messy and loose and "crappily", and I found that this helped. Honestly even if they're crummy They have some charm to em.

Me and a friend kept shrinking them and making these like… "minimalist Docs" (seen mostly in the second picture) as I initially called em and eventually I landed on a design that I just. can not stop doodling. I'm calling them the Doclets.

Later down the line after doodling more of these beasts I had the galaxy brain idea of hey, I haven't designed a logo for this thing yet… what if a Doclet was one of the "R" letters in either Farer or Dreamer? So I started to sketch out what this could look like, it'll be a lot clearer and easier to edit once I try to digitalize things but its a start. Also, another friend of mine also pointed out that the R Doclet would make a great minimalist desktop icon for the game which they are SO right about that and I will probably wind up doing that.

I'm not too focused on the actual asset art right now, but I will probably chip away at logo ideas in my free time now that I've got this idea. Expect more Doclets.

[blueempty]

Ya know I may not always have insightful stuff to say but I have posted on here every day so far

Today was pretty chill, played Barony, took a nap and then played FF14. We had a lot of unsuccessful Barony runs but we finally got out of the mines with me as an insectoid hunter, and my friend as a succubus monk I think. Its going pretty well but the real test will be if we can get past the Baron cuz idk man. Some jobs just dont do well in there and I'm nervous about my bows fire speed. The hunter's boomerang seems like garbage also

The ADHD has been at debilitating levels for quite some time now and I still dont feel up to looking for new work, but I'm gonna try to go to the store tomorrow cuz I know I'm being a pain in the ass to live with. Everything is just really tough man. Sometimes it's enough to be an alive cowboy. If consumption were ethical under capitalism I think I would be much less of a pain in the ass to live with. But I constantly have to be that asshole who's like we shouldn't eat there or buy that because it supports bad people, or like, we shouldn't go do this thing because its not worth risking covid. And I feel annoying being like that even though I dont think I'm wrong. Like in an infinite money situation theres a lot of safe and ethical things to do in the world but its tough being poor and ethical. Its almost like you have to be unethical in order to become wealthy, or something. Idk

But yeah, even though it feels silly to treat fast food boycotts as activism, it's the least any of us can do ya know? So I'll keep being that guy, since I dont feel like I'm geared for real activism at this time. I should probably look into that whole getting my brain checked thing

All that aside, I'm sure I sound negative again but like I'm chillin for the most part. I watched the first bit of a Mario Wonder speedrun and uh, I would like to adjust my run to the glitchless category should I pursue that cuz I sont wanna do that out of bounds shit lol. It's really cool though

No night sky so heres my new haworthia baby

Live Long and Prosper

[thedarkmistress16]

Do you have any app or mobile game to suggest? QwQ I wanna try playing something new

OOF there's so many mobile games I'm listing so prepare yourself

BATTLE CATS is the shit. Tough levels at points but there is a semblance of progress to be had. They added a lot of events and extra shit so it might be overwhelming for new people. i have no idea tho I barely started playing it again.

I'm a lover of the solitare genres (klondike and spider) but ugh the ads. I really only like them for the virtual customization of the themes that desktop comps dont provide enough of and having something offline to play on the go. ive been getting better at the four suit spider games, tho- i can feel my brain learning. 😁

Bingo games are fun! I don't have any one in particular I like the best, tho. Been a while since I played them.

Tinker Island 1 has great progression and you have the opportunity to collect the paid currency constantly, building up your gem vault. I like the garden minigame more than the actual gameplay XD.

I like Marvel Puzzle Quest for the match-3 gameplay with the marvel aesthetic. I'd recc. to play this one casually because progression is nonexistent with AND without $.

On the topic of match games, Bejeweled is a classic. 😊 I loved the butterfly rescue one back in the day and poker version was fun too- the tension is just MWAH.

Grand Summoners is for some reason spending a lot of money in ads because I'm seeing it everywhere despite having it on the exact device I'm seeing the ads on??? I'm not saying it's a problem it's just odd, lol. Micromanaging gear and teams will implode your brain but there is some strategy to it, even if you try to auto everything. They have crossover events all the time, on top of progression being kinda slow but still possible, and I'm quite happy with unexpectedly pulling a Hatsune Miku and evolving her. 😊

I would recc. trying out Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Links out for a test run to see if the grind is up your alley. Very generous with rarity tickets the last time I played it.

For another simple game, billiards are fun too, and easier to play digitally than in real life, lol. You will be playing against other humans all the time, tho.

Injustice 1 or 2 and Marvel Contest of Champions have their own pros and cons, but both are finger-input fighting/brawl games with IPs so it depends on asthetic and progression i guess? If I had to choose tho, I would say Injustice is more organized in its content than Champions if that makes any sense?

Best Fiends is a cute and neat lil' bubble draw and pop game that has some progression to it, but it's been a while since I played it. Surprising for me that I even like this one since the mascots are cartoony insects.

Color Puzzle is a gradient-building/color-matching puzzle game. I played it during my art class and it made me more aware of how colors react next to each other though it can hurt your eyes.

Visual novel story/chapter games are ones you need to curate yourself to figure out which one you'll want to sit through. Chapters has sexual/explicit stories but a beefy reward system compared to Choices from what I remember, plus community engagement/contests. This likely could have changed now- I haven't checked. Other apps have (slightly) animated characters/establishing shots and some are more customizable in the protagonist and reputation systems (romance or otherwise). They all blended together in my mind like a big soup of colors, but i will tell you that the paid currency choices are never worth it.

(Pixel) Color-by-number games are fun pastimes until they hurt your eyes and drain your device battery.

South Park Phone Destroyer was fun for a bit. Until it wasn't.

Dream Girlfriend is the best Ambition gacha/character simulation game they have, prove me wrong.

side note: have you ever played a mobile game that got deleted? one that was solely a play-to-win that was also fun in general and you were close to maxing out your characters? yeah, it's worse than the pain you feel when you discover your fave fic has been deleted from the internet😢

[santajp]

Hey random question!! I've been following your blog, and really have been liking your photography! How did you get so good? Like, I know part of photography is right place and time, but you just make everything look beautiful?? Honestly excited to see more! Please keep takin pictures! Also, did you know there's another name for a portrait photo? When the subject is you, it's called beauty! No matter the angle or lighting.

Awww! Thanks for liking the photos and shooting a question! X3

As for how I got so good, I was far from born with anything. I had to learn all this stuff, but I'd say a big thing that helped me wanna learn more was a photographer who was way older than me and much more experienced giving me a personal moment to see him in action. Now I personally had already done photography with my phone and had only recently gotten a bigger camera (*a phone is a fine starting point since many basic ideas of a good photo are the same no matter what you use), but a quote that will always stick with me was, "You are smarter than the camera." In a basic sense, he meant to stop using all the automatic features and really get to know the ins and outs of the tool you used, but in a grander sense, it made me finally get what taking a photo was, less of the camera doing it for me and more of me trying to capture the world in my own way and through things I cared about.

From there I learned how to change the lighting and posing of my photos alongside what made a photo stand out and be pretty, by school classes and many, many photos that were not good enough. Much of my subjects for photos were things I found pretty anyway, which made the job change to capturing that. I wanted to pose my toy bear in funny situations, bring my camera on any nature walk I could take, snap shots of any city, and try to capture anything I found value in. I've ran outside when many others were simply doing their usual lives, myself going crazy in a parking lot over how great the sky looked after my last class, almost baffled at how you could just not look at it, or taken walks for no other reason than to get more photos. I have pictures of my friends, even if I don't speak much to them anymore, family I rarely see, pets I have lost, and so many things from all the places I've been to. ( All of these photos are saved in multiple places by the way! Be safe with your backups! >:] )

So, to answer your question in a long and sappy way, the main way I got good was through others and by simply living with my camera by my side. There are most certainly technical things, and you must practice, but that finding of meaning is the biggest aspect of doing any kind of art I've found.

I can draw, but only if I've seen others that inspire or a world which gives the process of doing so meaning. I can learn more along the way of drawing my OCs a million times too!

I can play a song, but only if the notes make me hear a depth that can simply be to please the ears or make me dance or laugh. I'm not a Vylet Pony level artist, but I sure as hell am not gonna stop learning music from a lack of current skill beacuse I have too many songs I love that make me wanna make one too.

And I can write, but only if what I'm writing gives me the motivation to put my thoughts into words, gives me the want to make more for myself rather than force my mind to for a grade. Then I also can only write seeing how others put their thoughts into words, how they give out their own feelings through these weird mixings of letters. Like this whole ass post for example (lol), I write when I care about what I'm trying to say and getting it out to others from my weird brain.

For any kind of art, the thing that stands out is love and passion. There are so many ways to show and do it, no matter what anyone says, but if you love the art, I trust you'll be fine. Furthermore, live a little! Use your life in what you create, and if one thing doesn't work out, switch gears and keep on running! I doubted my photos many times, and I still do way too much, but whenever that happens, I just keep living until I see a flower that is too good to miss, and then I am back on the horse by leaning down with my camera ready. Is it being stubborn? Oh absolutely, but is it how I got this far? Yes, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Lastly, your portrait photo definition is a tad bit off. Though I like the spirit, and it is absolutely right. Just remember it has two definitions rather than only one, but don't worry. All you need to do for the second one is change that 'you' to a 'me', beacuse acting as if you aren't beautiful is lying to the world.

[longer-than-i-should-admit]

Taash calls Emmrich a skull-fucker??? *wheezing*

The way I laughed so hard. I was not expecting those two of all people to squabble. Emmrich my darling you are beefing with someone twice your size and like a third your age😂😂😂taash is so funny oml

Hoo boy! Got quite a bit done today!

I did Weisshaupt and! Oh! My god! They hydra? The fucking arch hydra? My heart was pounding so hard the whole time I could hear it over my headphones lol

Ghilan’nain still moves like a theatre villain but honestly? If she didn’t I think I’d genuinely be so terrified of her. Like imagining her moving more like a snake. *shudders* this gives her a little levity, as horrifying of a character as she is

Did a couple of missions around, hossburg and arlathan. Bellara’s brother miraculously survived and was tricked by Anaris, huh? I bet that’s totally going to turn out fine and not tragically at all. Uh-huh. Nope. Also the Gloom Howler? The hell? She isn’t the mage that preserved the griffon eggs is she? Bc she reminds me of the architect and corypheus a little but almost looks elvhen? All I know is that I am Afraid for Assan’s siblings. Please be okay lil guys🥺

Beat the demon dragon in Nevarra! Boy howdy! Terrifying! But I’m steadily gaining levels and I hope to try the Heart of Corruption boss again around 45, but I’m just now 38ish so it’ll probably be a while.

I set up to do lucanis’ mission next. I am Terrified to talk to Solas bc I don’t want anything to irreparably progress too far again. I have been checking the blocked off areas religiously. (I need to do more Docktown stuff as I got a couple more missions, but I can’t like it. Idk why, just way too crowded. Reminds me of Denerim tbh)

I want don’t know what’s next as far as plot points; I know the MO is to get my companions’ quests together since they were “distracted” in Weisshaupt (poor Lucanis, he was so bummed out—and Davrin’s scene after broke my heart, you still have a purpose baby, don’t worry), but I’m assuming we’ll start working towards freeing him next…? Setting a trap for him apparently? Idk man, I’m trying to get my faction strengths up bc that Scares Me. And it’s annoying me to have to wait for certain areas to unlock bc I want to explore it all already lol

My Caretaker’s rank is at level 9 now, which I’m proud of☺️got my gear all enchanted! I love the Character—truly one of the spirits of all time, right alongside Coke for me tbh. I just wish we could talk more, have a legitimate conversation. I found the other room in the Lighthouse where Solas wrote about the anchor, so that’s 100%ed. I’m hoping the last couple of chests are in the Corruption corridor bc it’s bothering me not to know where they are since I have the other islands covered (as far as I know unless there’s one more I haven’t been to yet).

But yeah! Big day! I should have been doing homework but my brain wouldn’t cooperate with me🥲I’ll have to buckle down and do it tomorrow bc I have plans Sunday. On nydha, lethal’len!😘

Thirteen (point six) hours in now that it’s finally downloaded…I tired…I’ve been up since seven am lol, it’s so much better than I expected!🥰

I’ll post better images once I figure out where in the hell my screenshot folder is but my baby Fenalan turned out so so gorgeous oml🥹

Spoilers mentioned under the cut:

I’m so glad Varric is okay. He gave Fenalan a little pep talk when she cracked under the pressure a bit so she’s doing her best to hold it together for the team. She left the mayor bc he’s a shithead and she’s generally been rather purple-coded, as I thought.

She has also given Solas a hard time at first, as planned. I wasn’t expecting him to clap back like he did in that second scene lol, but now that Varric has given her more insight into Solas’ personality she’ll be more cooperative going forward (while still being a lil shit of course).

God I know I’m waiting to romance Lucanis for Khalida but I understand why people are so I love with him. He went grocery shopping for them🥹and the delight in his voice when Fenalan got him the wyvern tooth dagger? Oh my lanta, my heart. And the fact that he noted her favorite drink being tea? That slew me on the spot. By god I am going to smooch you so hard next time. Get ready for it. (Rn he and Neve are flirting up a storm and it’s so damn cute I want to die.)

Honestly all the companion missions so far have been so sincere and sweet. I can’t wait to see more! I’m starting to get all the little side missions branching out so I’m trying not to get overwhelmed with them all by taking them one at a time. I think I’ll tackle more of arlathan forest first thing tomorrow.

I unlocked the memory where Solas fights Elgar’nan, so is the elf who was with him Felassan? I’m assuming it’s Felassan. And if that’s Felassan I am going to cry bc he seems so nice and outgoing.

Also who summoned the fish in the Lighthouse? (I think it was Felassan lol, he seems like an agent of chaos. The “you summoned them, you’ll have to feed them” line took me out.)

I’m mentally cataloguing all the little differences I’ll be making with Khalida, who is more of the soft-spoken, shy, diplomatic type. Her favorite drink will be the “something sweeter” option, she’ll have supported Varric’s plan, and she’ll be more open to Solas’ input off the bat once she gets over her initial fright of him. She’s such a sweet little thing and Lucanis is going to be an utter disaster with her since she’s a bit oblivious lol

God idk if I’m going to be able to sleep after all this but hey, here’s to trying lol

On nydha, lethal’len!🥰

[jaehyunfirstlove]

CONGRATS ON YOUR 1K MILESTONE <3 can i please request a dad!jaehyun smut? 🥺💗

Pairing: single dad!jaehyun x teacher's aide!f. reader

Genre: fluff, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: cheesy flirting, unprotected sex, oral sex (f. receiving)

Word count: 2k

A/N: aaaanndd another one i got carried away with lol! hope you like it, anon, and thanks for sending it in!

It was the first day of school and also your first day on the job as a teacher’s aide, and you were ushering the kids into the building when you noticed a boy standing off to the side, clinging to his dad’s leg. You noticed his dad had bent down, attempting to encourage the boy to enter the school with the rest of his classmates, but the boy just shook his head, holding even tighter to his dad’s leg. You walked over to see if you could help.

“Hi there!” you said in your sweetest voice, addressing the boy, “you must be Jeffrey. I’m Ms. L/N, your teacher’s helper.” You held out your hand for him to shake, but he just buried his face further into his dad’s leg.

“I’m sorry,” Jeffrey’s dad shrugged, looking at you with anxious eyes, “he’s just really shy since he doesn’t know anyone.”

“It’s fine,” you smiled, suddenly struck with how attractive Jeffrey’s dad was. Indeed, most of the parents and teachers milling about in the school yard were staring at him. “I’ve been trained for this sort of thing,” you reassured him. You bent down to be eye level with Jeffrey.

“I’m new too, just like you,” you told him, and this got his attention, as he peeked at you from behind his dad’s leg. “And I see you like Pokemon,” you continued, pointing at the keychain on his backpack. Now you really got his attention, and he finally emerged from behind his dad’s back. “I have some Pokemon stickers in the classroom, do you want to see them?”

Jeffrey nodded, smiling widely as he took your hand and followed you into the building. You glanced back at his father, who smiled gratefully at you, and you felt a stutter in your chest at the sight of the dimples that emerged in his cheeks.

---

Over the next few weeks Jeffrey became really attached to you, bonding with you over your shared love of Pokemon. He would sometimes play with the other kids, but mostly he would shadow you as you did your rounds during recess. He’d even opened up to you, telling you how his parents had separated and he’d moved into the area with his dad. You were intrigued by the story, by this sweet little boy who obviously missed his home, and a doting dad who had upended his life to take care of his son.

One day, Jeffrey’s dad was late to pick him up so you offered to stay with him while he waited. When Mr. Jeong finally pulled into the parking lot, he was frazzled, apologizing to you profusely for being late to pick up Jeffrey.

“I’m so sorry,” he’d put his hands together in a placating gesture, his eyes pleading, and you couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it all was. “I had a meeting that went late at work, I promise it won’t happen again.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and he looked at you in surprise. “Mr. Jeong, those aren’t the kinds of promises you should be making,” you said jokingly. You’d only meant to lighten the tone of the situation, but he looked at you then, gears whirring in his head.

“Well Ms. L/N, what kinds of promises do you suggest I make, then?” he tilted his head at you, and your brain was busily trying to decipher if he was being flirtatious or not. You noticed that Jeffrey had wandered off to kick at the wood chips in the playground, and therefore couldn’t hear your conversation, so you decided to be bold.

“Maybe… the kind where I can benefit too, Mr. Jeong?” you raised your eyebrows at him, and he broke into a wide grin.

“You can call me Jaehyun,” he said, his eyes twinkling as he regarded you.

“Then you can call me Y/N,” you answered, then leaned in, whispering, “but not in front of Jeffrey.”

He laughed, a beautiful, velvety sound that was like music to your ears. “How’s this for a promise then,” he put a finger to his lips, pretending like he was thinking hard, “I promise that I’ll be on time to pick you up for our date this Friday night.”

“Is that your way of asking me out?” you asked cheekily.

“Yes? Do you accept?” he asked, now a little unsure but still encouraged by your lighthearted tone.

“I accept,” you nodded, “but let’s see if you can keep that promise.”

---

Friday night came and Jaehyun was indeed late, but just by a few minutes. You couldn’t help but tease him about it the entire time you were out together, and he took your teasing with a very good nature that impressed you. When it finally came time to take you home, he was silent as he walked you to your door, his face pensive.

“Everything okay?” you asked, noticing the change in his demeanor and wondering if you’d done or said something wrong.

“Yeah, I just… I just haven’t done this in a while… the whole dating thing,” he said hesitantly, running a hand through his hair. You noticed he would do that when he was shy or embarrassed, and to you it was the most endearing thing.

“I get it,” you nodded, “so there’s one new rule you need to know about.”

He looked at you questioningly. “What is it?”

“Well, breaking a promise on the first date means you have to come inside and have a coffee with me.”

He suppressed a smile, nodding his head and furrowing his brow. “Ah I see. Well, I would hate to break the rules, so let’s do it.”

When the coffee was done and a lot of heavy looks had been exchanged, but no actual move had been made, Jaehyun got up from the sofa with a sigh.

“Well I guess I’d better go, it’s getting late and the babysitter needs to get home.” Rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, he clearly seemed hesitant to leave, but he knew his responsibilities, something about him you really respected.

“Of course,” you responded, but you didn’t want him to leave either. When he turned his back to you, you had the sudden urge to touch him, just to be close, so you placed your hand gently on his back. At your touch he stopped and turned to you, and before you knew it he was gathering you in his arms, kissing you gently, tentatively, his lips soft and warm against yours. You sighed into his mouth, and that made him grip you tighter, and soon enough the kiss became heated and you had the sudden urge to rip his clothes off. But he eventually pulled away, ever so reluctantly, resting his forehead against yours as he tried to breathe properly again.

“I really have to go,” he said, and before you could pull him back and tempt him some more he walked towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” he winked at you, before pulling your door closed behind him.

---

The next time he asked you out he surprised you by inviting you over to his place, saying he wanted to flex his cooking skills. You asked where Jeffrey would be and he said he’d be staying over at a cousin’s for the weekend, and that gave you an inkling that you’d have more than just dinner in store for you.

You showed up at his door wearing your most killer outfit, and it definitely had that effect, because when he opened his door and took one look at you he looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

“Ms. L/N? Is that you?” his mouth had dropped open, eyes roaming all over your figure hungrily.

“Yes it is, Mr. Jeong. Do you not approve of what I’m wearing?” you asked innocently.

“I believe it violates every article of the dress code,” he said, shaking his head.

“Does that mean I have to take it off?” you asked with a smirk, and that was enough for him. He pulled you inside, slamming the door closed behind you, his hands rough and needy on your body as he pulled you to him.

“A violation like that requires a hands-on punishment,” he growled, in between sucking on your lips and then your neck, “which means I get to take it off you.”

He pulled you towards his bedroom, both of you stumbling over Jeffrey’s toys while he apologized between kisses and you alternated between giggling and moaning as his hands squeezed your ass, and then your breasts.

“Oh, Jaehyun,” you moaned, when he finally got you onto his bed, his body engulfing you as he hiked your skirt up to your hips. He groaned deep in his throat when he found you bare, his hand going straight to your pussy.

“Ms. L/N you are naughtier than I thought,” he said, shaking his head in awe, and you only had a moment to smile devilishly at him before he bent down and sucked your clit into his mouth.

You cried out, your body reacting instantly to the way he was pleasuring you, his eyes dark and hooded as he watched you fall apart. You threaded your fingers into his hair as you felt your orgasm coming on, biting your lip to keep from screaming as he continued to suck harshly, like you were the sweetest lollipop he’d ever tasted. Your orgasm came hot and fast, and instantly he released your abused clit, hastily pulling off his clothes before hovering over you.

You looked up at him, eyes half-lidded, lips flushed and shiny with your juices, his beautifully styled hair now falling messily into his eyes. “Are you going to give me my punishment now, Mr. Jeong?”

He smirked, before he reached down, peeled your dress off of you, slowly. Once it was off he ran his hands all over your body, admiring, watching your reaction as he flicked a nipple, or dipped a finger into your folds. When he had you panting and whining for more, he slid his cock into you, so deep that your back arched off the bed and your fingers dug into his skin.

“Y/N,” he groaned huskily into your ear, losing himself in the feel of you as he drilled you into the mattress, “fuck, you feel so good.”

You couldn’t even respond, every sound stuck in your throat as his cock hit you in just the right spot. You clung to his shoulders, his hips snapping into you so hard you’d be surprised if you didn’t have bruises by morning. The knot in your stomach started to form ridiculously fast, spurred on by the sounds he was making as he fucked you, low, deep, from the base of his throat, the reverberations in his chest going straight to your core.

“Jaehyun, fuck, that feels good, just like that,” you moaned, and your encouragement fueled him, his pace quickening.

“Like that, baby?” he asked, watching as you started to fall apart. He tweaked a nipple, and as your mouth opened to cry out, your orgasm finally hitting you, he crashed his lips against yours, swallowing your cries as you came, your body shuddering, pussy pulsing around his cock.

He released your lips to let you breathe, but he continued pumping into you, pulling you flush against him and pressing sloppy kisses to your neck. His thrusts started to stutter, and with one last deep thrust that took your breath away, he came with a low groan, face buried in your neck.

You were both breathing hard, bathed in sweat, but he still stayed inside you, nuzzling into your neck. You ran your fingers through his hair, and soon enough he pulled back to look at you, his eyes soft.

“I haven’t done that in a long time, so I hope it was okay,” he said sheepishly, a blush creeping up to the tips of his ears.

“Mr. Jeong,” you smiled, continuing to card your fingers through his hair, “I give you an A plus for that.”