#just getting whatever you want and disregarding how it affects other people

[maxbytes]

i will kill my brother btw

[mullermilkshake]

Yandere's meet their Darling.

Satoru Gojo

Satoru knows he's amazing and incredible, he doesn't need to hear it to know it's true. Everybody loves him, except you. A person who denies any feelings towards him, enamoured or otherwise.

So naturally, Satoru is drawn to you.

Initially, he just observes and wonders what makes you so different and why you never fall in line like the rest of them. His infatuation first begins as an inconvenience. You inconvenience him. He can get any person he likes and toss them away like trash in a landfill whenever he pleases. But you do not allow that.

You are not interested in his subtle advances, you don't even allow him to catch you staring in his direction. Because you do the opposite, in fact for a moment, it's like you try your hardest to ignore him.

Satoru does not like being ignored.

The little signs of his interest soon become stronger and the inconvenience morphs into an odd interest about you. You're pretty, that's for sure, funny too, everything he looks for in a person he'd want to speak to on a more intimate level.

But Satoru can't stand the fact that when he expressed his feelings about you, in an appropriate manner too, you turned him down. It was pure madness. Whoever disregards his feelings are utterly insane and stupidly stupid. Well, other people, but not you.

Despite your protests, he will never think badly of you. Ever.

Satoru sees this as a game now. You don't want him, but he wants you and it's certain that you are his object of affection. He will find out how you are immune to his pretty face, his lovable charm and his outstanding morals.

You don't know it just yet, but he will have you.

Whatever Satoru wants, he gets.

Suguru Geto

Suguru daydreams over the first time seeing you. Your bravery and insensitive cursing that left your lips without batting an eyelid. You still do.

Your spirit is strong, overwhelming to those who don’t know you because you cannot be broken. Suguru takes that as a challenge, to break you down bit by bit in anyway he can, while still remaining faithfully at your side just like his other fellow sorcerers.

Before Suguru decides to leave the side of purity and defending the weak, he wants you to join him. There’s no way you ever will whilst your ideals remain as pure as Satoru’s hair.

Suguru would rather just rip off the bandaid and take you away, but there’s plenty to do before he can even do it. He wants to use his cursed spirits and get rid of the vile monkeys, but he waits. Another agonising year to be correct.

Suguru waits until he’s past the age of eighteen, he’s an adult now, as are you. That means that no one can tell him what to do and you are capable of making your own choices. The last year has been torturous for Suguru, silently filling your head with nonsensical bullshit and at first, it doesn’t work, but then it does.

At first you prefer to sit next to Suguru, then study with him and then allow him to walk you home after the winter nights get darker for longer.

Then because of Suguru’s well ingrained methods, you even go to kiss him. He receives you and knows now, that it’s time to indoctrinate you.

You are the only person Suguru wants next to him when he steps foot into the new world.

And now he's moulded you just for that.

Kento Nanami

Kento can’t believe his luck when he sees you at the gates of Jujutsu high. He already sees you outside of work in the little convenience store you work in, your shifts being every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and every second Saturday. The store’s bread is currently the top on his list of regular items.

There’s just something different about you. There is indeed, a magnetic pull that keeps Kento coming back despite how terrible the other food items are.

You serve him with a smile, always a smile and it never falters. Sometime’s Kento is lucky enough to get a brush of your fingertip across his own finger during the exchange of money.

Imagine his surprise when he sees you, wandering up to the red Torii gate with a little piece of paper in your hand, you smile faded away and eyes so tired. Kento hates it that your smile has gone and later learns that it’s in fact a cursed spirit hurting you. And by chance, Kento was recommended to exorcise it.

You don’t know it’s a cursed spirit of course, just that Kento is apparently a masseuse and the lady who recommends her is the very same from that sandwich shop Kento used to frequent.

Fate has its way.

Kento knows this was meant to be and will do his best to give you comfort and continue to be the gentleman he always is. To be the respectful and trustworthy man you will call in a time of need, in fact you already have.

Accept now, you know his name. You also accepted an invitation to dinner.

Now that Kento is in your life, it’ll be rather difficult to have him exit it.

That won’t happen as long as he has a pulse.

Ryomen Sukuna

Roman Sukuna has never experienced shock, or surprise before, not until you waltz into his field of vision. Practically a carbon copy of the only person he loved during the golden age of Jujutsu.

Love is a weak emotion, but then again, it's an emotion all the same.

During the Heian ear, that person was a witch, a trickster, perhaps that's why he admires that person and it's entirely possible why he eats his words the second he spots you. Watching from a distance is all he can do for now until his brain resets itself and allows him to collect what a drooling mess he is.

Of course, he never admits it.

You by lineage, obviously a descendent are his to claim without protest from your lips. He watches you whilst he inhabits Yuji Itadori's body, noting your facial expressions, how you talk and they way you fiddle with your hair just right.

He will have you even if you don't agree, if you turn around and fight him because for the first time since his reincarnation, Sukuna senses a shift in his priorities. He hates it, shedding even a scrap of vulnerability, but that's how the world works.

Vulnerability makes people weak and he does not show it, not even allowing that punk to go through those types of memories he holds close. They are his alone and that's that.

Ripping out this body's heart could prove a useful tool to prove to you how high his affections lie, what better way to show it than giving you a still beating heart? But you strike him as the type of person who would not be that way.

You seem to be the type who enjoyed the rougher side, the raw energy of his intentions, forcefulness and unwavering perseverance.

Either way, you're coming with Sukuna when all is done and he fulfils his role as the king of curses and takes his rightful place burning the world.

With you right by his side whether you like it or not.

Toji Fushiguro

Toji Couldn't care less when he saw you.

You were nothing. A weak person with not much going for you besides having Jujutsu high as a security blanket. He originally had been watching Satoru Gojo, waiting for him to drop his guard, he noticed you too and thought nothing of it.

Then, he stands no more than six feet in front of you, you're hurting, breathing erratically with so much blood up your arms yet still standing there to face him. Even though you just watched Satoru Gojo die by his hand, he was still there on the floor with the gigantic laceration in his neck.

Still, you didn't take your eyes off of Toji, and for the first time, it stirs something up inside him. Why are you, an upperclassman even doing with these kids? Toji does his homework and you have four years on them, is it to lead by example?

You aren't setting a very good one, picking a fight with someone much stronger than you in every way, but you still remain there, ready to take Toji on. He wants to ask you, why? How can someone be so stupid to see a man, who is your cocky underclassman and much stronger than you by far get his shit pushed in and you still want to take him on?

You just stand there, trying your best to control what little hope you have left. But it isn't enough, it never is. Toji overpowers you like a butter knife to soft flaky fish, holding you in his grip whilst you struggle to make things inconvenient for him.

You don't make a dent though.

Toji has other plans than killing you like he did Satoru Gojo, he just isn't sure what those plans entail, but he'll find out soon enough.

Choso

Choso's head is splitting as he wanders through the train station, trying his best to input the new information and store it somewhere without frying his brain. He's overwhelmed and unsure of where his footing lies. A hole to crawl into seems like the best idea, until he can mull over this sense of horrid sickness.

That's until he turns the corner and sees you running past him, almost colliding into each other. You stop and look at him as he holds fast and tries his best to keep the tears from falling over his cheeks.

He looks at you and you him, and if it isn't bad enough that his head threatens to explode, images of you plague what little brain space is functional, tripping his entire head.

What Choso does not know, in this moment, was that he was imprinting on you, filling the blanks of his memories and slotting you right where you should be. He needs to protect you at all costs, because if he doesn't you are sure to die just like his brothers.

You are special. Despite what side you are on, you even ask him if he is alright. What person on the opposing side does that? You do that. You are the saving grace amongst the sorcerer's and showed him kindness.

Choso must keep you safe and not allow anyone to touch or harm you. He was not there for his brothers and he will be damned now if he doesn't protect you in their stead.

Little does he know, that he is just on the first step to becoming obsessed and infatuated with you, and will stop at nothing to keep you right where you are.

Even if it kills him.

Hiromi Higuruma

Hiromi first meets you as one of his clients, accused of murder you did not commit.

He knows you're innocent, he just knows it, the look of your innocent features as you walk through the door to the two way glass to ask for help. So innocent and doe eyed as you sit there across the desk practically begging him to help.

Of course he'll help, it's what he does best when his clients are against the odds. Conviction in Japan exceeds ninety nine percent for a reason. So he decides to help and offers his services pro bono. It's for the greater good of the public after all. Putting your pretty face behind bars is a travesty.

Your aura is simple, dainty and warm. Hiromi wants nothing more than to protect you, to look after you and nurse you from the legal system that has targeted you.

Because there is no way that you are hiding anything from him. He can just tell.

Whilst the prosecution builds a case, Hiromi does everything he can to make your stay where you are kept as comfortable as possible. Soon, he doesn't just come to see you to speak about the case, he also regularly comes to see you just to spend time before returning home.

It should never be a case that he fell for you while accused of such a horrible crime, but he can't help himself. He can never help himself. His thoughts on how you'll jump for joy and have no choice but to stay with him after out of a sense of duty for pulling off the impossible are continuous.

Either that of he will just ask you out himself until you do.

After all, as an attorney, it's his job to push for all the facts to get the outcome he desires.

[nayatarot777]

What Are Your Future Spouse’s Pet Peeves?

• Pile One •

The first pet peeve that your future spouse has is people underestimating their power - or other people’s power. You know when someone views you as someone who’s weak and defenceless? They can’t stand shit like that. This might pertain to the way that people treat you and they won’t be happy about others viewing you as someone who they can just say and do whatever they want to. If you also experience any demonisation of your power on a spiritual level (for example, if you’re a witch, a medium, a psychic, a tarot reader, etc) then this will piss them off too. Another pet peeve of theirs is when they witness someone being made to feel guilty for something that they shouldn’t have to carry around guilt for. Any type of gaslighting and manipulation will really send them over the edge, and they’ll be ready to raise hell over shit like that 😂. They also hate when people try to suppress their anger or when they’re told how they “should” or “shouldn’t” feel. When someone tries to suppress their emotions and they feel like they’re not allowed to show their true feelings without being dismissed, it triggers something within them. Your future spouse may have a history of experiencing their emotions being suppressed and disregarded - especially from childhood - and they’ve had to work hard to even get comfortable with showing their feelings. So for someone to overstep that line and try to control the feelings that they show? Yeah…it’s not gonna go down well 💀.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

• Pile Two •

Your future spouse really hates when people keeps secrets from them. And not just personal secrets, but secrets that include them or that would affect them in some way. They’ve experienced throughout life too many secrets already and they don’t like it. At all. Also, people talking shit behind their back. Or talking about them to others without addressing the issue with them directly. They also hate any form of injustice. I feel like your future spouse is someone who will take justice into their own hands if no one else is willing to step up and serve someone their karma. Another pet peeve is those who keep other people’s secrets despite knowing damn well that they should expose that person for all of the skeletons that they have in their closet too. And I’m also seeing that your future spouse has a huge love for Earth and nature, so when they see people littering, destroying and harming the environment, hearing about animals being poached, etc will upset them greatly too. Going back to the message about secrets, your future spouse hates when people try to pry too much into their personal business. The types of people who try to rush into getting to know them are not met with compliance from your future spouse. They’re someone who’s slow to open up and they hate when people don’t respect that.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

• Pile Three •

The first pet peeve of your future spouse that I’m seeing is people who refuse to see the ugly sides of themselves. The shadow side. Those who don’t see themselves for who they truly are (the good AND the bad) gets on your spouse’s nerves to the fullest extent. They can’t stand those people who want to go through life acting like they never do anything wrong, as if they’re perfect. And this annoyance comes out the most when they’re trying to get someone to see the error of their ways and the other person is being so dismissive and stubborn. Basically when someone’s ego gets in the way of knowing themselves thoroughly. They also hate when people choose to use escapist tendencies instead of facing their issues directly. And this mainly applies to the situations in which people becoming escapists affects other people around them. Your future spouse also hates people who don’t show up as their authentic selves. I feel like because they can see through that shit and it makes them feel like so many people are fraudulent. The last pet peeve that I’m seeing is when things from the past pop up a second time around. Whether this is people bringing up what was supposed to be dead and buried already, or people from the past thinking that they can weasel their way back into your spouse’s life after some time has passed after a separation and ending.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

• Pile Four •

I’m seeing two messages about responsibility: your future spouse hates when people don’t take responsibility over themselves, their own actions, their life decisions, etc. And the reason why they hate this is because they understand that when people lack personal responsibility over themselves, that responsibility unfairly falls onto someone else who shouldn’t have to deal with it. They’re also the type of person who can’t stand seeing people not giving someone their praise for achievements in life, no matter how big or small. They don’t like that unsupportive energy that they see coming from people sometimes. Your future spouse is someone who is extremely clairvoyant - they see beneath the surface of peoples actions and energy, and what they say (or what they don’t). And they can’t stand when people act like they’re “reading too deeply” into something just because they bother to see the truth behind people and situations. That’s also why they can’t stand liars 😂. It feels like an insult to their intelligence and their perceptiveness and they don’t stand for any of that.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

[nonexistant00tmblr]

I love ii but it WILL be the death of me. I keep thinking about how Baseball's storyline is just so damn tragic, and nobody notices. "Always strikes out", And he 𝘩𝘢𝘴 his whole life (his whole time on the show).

Not rejoining, even when he earned it (Paper most likely had the sympathy of fans due to Paper having been there the longest, but Baseball had also been there almost just as long, and- 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. He 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 threaten to kill anyone upon his release! /sarc)

having a constant stream of ridicule from the other contestants regarding his weight lasting S1 AND the start of S2. Why do they even CARE about his weight brah. Ohhh, that's right! Meshart4 fated him to never get what he wants, like people 𝘯𝘰𝘵 seeing him for only his weight. Womp womp, I guess. Wow Mephone, projecting, much? (Also [in my opinion] weight seems VERY irrelevant for objects to care about, due to how most things that could change the appearance of a human [such as; diet, physical strength, hygiene.] Don't really change an object's appearance.) ((Also also being criticized for his armless-.. ness(?) Ouch.))

As much as being a team leader seems like it would be a 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 thing, with the team he had, it was like being a single mom of 10. Having to mediate all of the drama in his team whilst leading it in the first place put so much pressure on him, not to mention having the weight of his friend's problems weighing on him making things harder to deal with. The reason he and Nickel had that lil tussle back in s2e10, was BECAUSE Baseball had so many bad things happening to him. He just wanted that little reassurance that even with all the crap happening, he was an at least half-decent leader, and all he got was his best friend making a joke about it, and downplaying Baseball's very real feelings. He tried to save it, but just that first comment I feel definitely affected Baseball in a negative way.

//(Lil detour time, I wanna talk about how Nickel affected Baseball in GENERAL [for the better AND the worse.], Baseball clearly views Nickel as his best friend, even after everything they've gone through in season 2, but I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. I think it shows that Baseball was too scared to try and make new friends in the game, as to not accidentally make an enemy. I feel this is because Baseball was slowly realizing that most things he tried to do wouldn't go his way, so he'd cling on to Nickel as his only friend, hoping not to lose him, feeling lucky to have him at all (and Nickel would know all about luck/jjjjjjj). This lead to Baseball disregarding some of Nickel's actions towards himself and Suitcase as to preserve his relationship with Nickel. Though, I do feel that the bond they had was real. It started in season 1, where there was less drama built up over time(ex; Tophy and Knife in s2e1 planting the seed for their inevitable rivalry, vs Taco randomly being that bitch and that hoe. /silly), so Baseball most likely wasn't thinking about "preserving his friendship" with Nickel, but rather being friends with him in general. This gave them that time to have genuine interactions that build up the trust between the two. This is why Baseball played along with whatever Nickel did, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮. That friendship was real, and Nickel was taking advantage of Baseball without even realizing it. I doubt his did this consciously due to his s3 arc, and how he was programmed that way. Nta. /silly. Nickel getting eliminated was a real roadblock for Baseball because (as aforementioned) Nickel was Baseball's only real friend in the game at this point, and Baseball still had that very real connection with him. This is why I feel he was so awkward in s2e14, as he was trying to have that confidence that Nickel had, and he never did. As much as that's really good for him- like, yay! You go girl!! It's inadvertently horrible for him specifically, because he is hardwired to have all of his efforts for naught. It took Baseball all of s2e15 talking to Suitcase to realize all of Nickel's wrongs, and how ignoring them put him in the wrong too. Once he finally realized that, it seemed like Baseball was really coming into his own! Working out his own issues bit by bit.

WRONG!!🤑👅💜 s2e16. We got only one Baseball and Nickel interaction, but it was enough to change Baseball for the rest of the life he had left. Watching Nickel die/get X'd was like s2e13's elimination put to an extreme. It's clear that - even thought he was working out his issues - Baseball still had that strong attachment to Nickel. People respond to grief in many ways, but when things get too much for one person, they can simply go numb. Baseball was in a very sensitive mental state, and this really hit him where it hurts most. His best friend. He went numb, not telling anyone what he saw. Even in Baseball's last moments, he tried to take that leader-like stance, and help everyone but himself, just as Nickel told him he could.) // lil detour over (I say lil as if this wasn't long as HELL💜)

Though I did connect back to the main claim occasionally, Nickel was a very important part of Baseball's character development that matters to this conversation imo.

Getting out in s2e15 was also (possibly) a place where Baseball's programming played a part (alternatively, he got out because Suitcase had too many negative experiences with Baseball, and thought that her deep emotional views of him would impair her gameplay in the finale.) "Always strikes out", even with the people he thought were friends. Even with the person he thought was his friend. Even with Suitcase. I feel the reason Baseball had the response he did, was him coming to terms with things just not going his way, which sets him up in that sensitive mental state in s2e16. He seemed to have come to terms with Suitcase choosing Knife, and didn't want to procrastinate on the obvious, that he was just never enough. Not enough for Suitcase, not enough for his team, not enough to win the game.

He just wasn't the guy who could do it. And he knew he never would be.

He always strikes out.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

In the modern publishing landscape, these days, I think like we do not have many (if any) point-of-view characters with low social motivation for whatever reason.

Sure, there are lots of characters with social anxiety or other perceived or legitimate foibles to overcome, there are many YA villain origin stories, and there are many unpalatable, traditionally "unlikable" men in classics, but disregarding those, who else do we have?

Can the state of openly being alone (and content) rarely be presented as morally-neutral or as the end result of a narrative? Must it always be that either being alone is the starting point, so there's room for "personal growth," or that being alone is seen as "undesirable" and/or an indication that the person alone has a "problem" or something otherwise wrong with them, like a deficit or moral failing that in some kind of karmic way gives them "what they deserve," which is being alone and discontent with it?

Characters with society anxiety, any differences in communication, or other reasons that interfere with forging connections "don't count" because they may still be motivated. Traits such as these only stand in the way of gaining relationships, as plot obstacles. They aren't intrinsically tied to indifference or to low motivation. So, these characters clearly are not experiencing a lack of interest. And they are not the ones rejecting others. Thus, they "don't count" as far as the archetype that I'm looking for goes.

Characters who undergo villain arcs or otherwise negative arcs may want to maintain their relationships or gain them, so some examples are immediately disqualified (hence not having low social motivation), even if they are the type of character most likely to alienate themselves by a story's end, conflicting with what they wanted.

(Unfortunately, Coriolanus Snow, who is quite close to the type of protagonist I'm searching for "doesn't count" because he has some drive to keep people in his life.

Rafal Mistral partially "counts," and is satisfying as a character, but also doesn't count because he temporarily makes "friends" or allies, depending on how you look at his exploits. Yet, despite all this, not having friends isn't exactly framed as a morally-neutral state either, so he is also disqualified by the end. Basically, he does have low social motivation, but his narrative lacks the conditions that would make the natural consequences of that low motivation play out for themselves. He is always surrounded by people, even if he hates every last one of them.

And, generally speaking, the usual, moody-broody, "misunderstood" YA love-interests very easily "don't count" because they have a desire to get closer to their object of affection.

Even Katniss Everdeen, an overall good person, who usually views herself as "unlikable," befriends others, originally for pragmatic, survival purposes. However, she does start with low social motivation, so that's something in her favor.

And yes, I'm aware that we need other people in this world—I would just like to see someone prove that supposed truth wrong once. And perhaps succeed in their world, if that's not too much to ask for.)

Also, are there any instances of characters who progressively alienate themselves from others, in which that progression is not inherently seen as negative? Like, what about non-corrupt misanthropes? Are there few of those in literature? (Maybe—Eleanor Oliphant from literary fiction counts, but something about that book did not appeal me and I didn't finish it.)

Classics guys sort of "count," but I haven't really seen examples of any comparable protagonists today since many authors and readers write and look for "relatability" in blank slate everyman figures oftentimes.

(I'm not done with Crime and Punishment yet, but Raskolnikov is very tentatively looking like a safe bet for a character who may end up alone and who may not be completely malcontent over such a fate, even if I'm expecting tragedy. I'm that not far along, but I also wouldn't mind it too greatly if he died, I suppose.

And even Sherlock Holmes has Watson as his constant, even if he's notoriously asocial! So he "doesn't count" either.

Carol from Main Street also comes close, but still ultimately desires approval from others.

Maybe no one is truly immune to humanity and I should give up on this notion?)

How many pov characters out there are 1) apathetic toward the masses and 2a) either alienate themselves as the plot progresses or 2b) do not make any friends? (I will allow them making friends and consequently losing them though because that still ends in net zero!)

Indeed, this "gap" in protagonists I've been running into lately, especially with coming-of-age arcs and protagonists whose arc is some form of "getting out of their shell," is: why do we (almost?) never see protagonists who just flat-out don't progress in terms of connecting with fellow humans?

Wouldn't having even a handful of those types be reflective of reality? (We as a society are more disconnected than ever, to be fair, despite constantly having access to one another via technology.)

Or I would completely understand it, if it were narratively impractical to have a plot in which a protagonist makes zero friends. Maybe, it's a near-unwritable form for a story?

So, my question is: does anyone have book recommendations, which present a character whose end goal is not to make friends or forge connections (any other ambitions or motivations are fine) and whose state of being friendless both lasts and is regarded as morally-neutral or as not outright evil? Any genre is fine. High fantasy is preferable. I am stumped.

(I also wouldn't mind recommendations of books in which the protagonist is vilified due to being alone, even if that is not my primary query here.)

[etherealising]

chapter five | we keep this love in a photograph

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen berzatto x f!reader | f!reader x the bear crew | male!oc x f!reader | carmy x claire | carmy x wingwoman!sydney |

summary: as plans are set in motion and renovations move forward, carmy finds himself entangled with the thought of you.

warning(s): guilt | grief | language | mentions of death | mentions of suicide | substance abuse | recovering addict | idiots in love | self-sabotage | insinuation of sex | semi-edited | please let me know if i missed anything

wc: 7.1k

It was 4 am, and the heat from your oven warmed the kitchen. The biscuits lined up nicely on the cooling rack, You hadn’t given much thought to the task at hand, too busy trying to remove yourself from the guilt-ridden thoughts that plagued your mind most nights.

Peach juice coated your hands, the rhythmic act of peeling them helped you to silence the foreboding thoughts fighting their way to the forefront of your brain.

The handwritten recipe card was placed strategically out of the way to not get ruined while you worked around the kitchen. You were no chef that much was obvious, but your mom taught you the art of cooking from a very young age. Instilled in you a sense of independence.

Standing in your kitchen as the night began its metamorphosis into day, you couldn’t help but reminisce about the role your mom played in your life. As a single parent, your mom was adamant about you knowing how to live life without having to depend on the goodwill of others. And even when the Berzattos entered your life, she made sure that you were never too comfortable.

You were allowed to spend as much time with the family as your heart desired, your mom wanted you to understand and enjoy human connection. But she’d always make sure you knew how easy it was for a person to walk out of your life. She liked to remind you that you couldn’t control other people’s actions, and just because you were important to someone today, didn’t mean those same feelings would transcend into tomorrow. To take a little, but never too much, to allow a certain level of comfort but always remember your role in other people’s lives is never as important as you may think.

All the peeled peaches sat atop the cutting board, awaiting the moment they would be pitted and cut into symmetrical slices.

Parents, either unknowingly or not, pass down their own beliefs and ideas to their children. Children who were essentially sponges waiting to soak up whatever knowledge and information was thrown their way. You knew this first hand, your mom’s need for independence is the same flaw that now afflicted you even into adulthood.

The independence that was so far from what you craved growing up, so drilled into you by your mother, that you instead hid behind your dependency on the Berzatto family.

That same need for independence that you had finally given in to and had almost killed you five months ago.

While your mom saw her life lessons as a teaching moment to never overstay your welcome. You easily disregarded it growing up, how could she not expect you to live in your vulnerability, to depend on people she had so easily allowed to love you and take up space in your life?

You didn’t blame your mom for allowing you to know the Berzattos but you blamed her for the part of you that would always remember her words. Always make you second guess if your actions affected people the way theirs did you.

Her words once again made an appearance when Carmy first distanced himself from you and finally made a permanent home in your head when Mikey passed away.

A shrill beep alerted you, the oven was ready. The peaches are pristinely cut, along with the previously made peach simple syrup both awaiting use.

Gingerly adding all the ingredients to your Dutch oven, you placed the lilac pot into the oven before beginning to clean up the mess you made.

You knew your mom did her best raising you with the hand she was dealt. Your father, a shadow you’d never know. Her own life experiences an excuse to protect you from the world, from yourself.

As her health deteriorated, you watched your mom's outlook on life become less skewed. But what good would that do you? The little girl you once were absorbed her constant message and stored it in the back of your mind for safekeeping, awaiting the day such a pessimistic ideal system might one day be put to use.

The timer on your oven was ticking down, the hoard of minutes left until the peach cobbler was done brought on a feeling of despair. Watching the timer dwindle minute after minute felt like a metaphor for your life at the moment.

Time was running out, and maybe that wasn’t true but you sure as hell did feel that way. The time you had left to confess your shortcomings to Richie quickly passed by. The expiration date for whatever the fuck was going on between you and Carmy fastly approaching.

You couldn’t allow these things to continue festering in your life. The weight of them exhausting you, you couldn’t keep pushing on like everything was okay like nothing had changed between any of you.

Choices you made inadvertently affected them just as much as they affected you. You didn’t want this wall between you and them anymore, and even if the wall was nonexistent to them; it was very much real to you.

You would figure things out, you had to. There was no time like the present to commit yourself to fixing the lives you had messed up.

It was easy though walking through life as if you hadn’t ruined anyone else’s. It was almost like you hadn’t, if they weren’t privy to your vices, was there any point in coming clean? Any point in apologizing to them?

Those thoughts were wrong and you knew it. You had to admit your wrongdoings to yourself, to understand why the people you loved the most in life were deserving of an apology, because if you didn’t you would constantly spend the rest of your days justifying why your actions were okay.

Justifying the fact that because you didn’t mean to overdose, that made everything you did okay. That, because you were just going through a mentally tough time in your life, turning to stimulants to aid your grief, was fine. That you were trying to forget for all the right reasons.

Reality was though, there was no right reason for the choices you had been making this whole time. And that was something you still had to come to terms with.

Closing your eyes, your head fell back, face pointed towards the kitchen ceiling. A tired sigh escaped your lips, the exhaustion of recovery taking its toll on you. Tired of standing in the kitchen and being berated by your mind you decided to begin outlining the exposè you were hoping to write on The Bear.

Busying your mind was the easiest option right now, too much unnecessary thinking put you back into the mindset that got you into this mess. Silencing any unwanted thoughts was no longer an option for you, but focusing on something else was proving to work for the time being.

You had made a colossal mistake. Who did you think you were to bring people who cooked for a living a sweet and savory cobbler? That wasn’t your initial plan when you couldn’t sleep this morning and decided to bake. But after removing the dish from your oven allowing the aromas to swim through the foundation of your house, you couldn’t bring yourself to keep it.

A dish that was introduced to you through your mom and the lineage the both of you carried. A dish that Mikey would always want for, but never expect when you did make it for him. A dish that you had spent countless times baking with Carmy by your side the two of you messing up the recipe more than once.

A dish that you once loved so much, but after your mom's death it always tasted like something was missing. And now baking it for the first time since Mikey’s passing you couldn’t even stomach the sickly sweet smell of it.

Walking through the lot to the back door, you were unsurprised to find it unlocked. Entering, you began walking through the kitchen making your way to the counter to place the pastel Dutch oven, the tote bag with vanilla ice cream you picked up on your way there following quickly after.

You weren’t sure who was already here at this time but thought it’d be a nice thing to do by offering them a bowl of the diabetes-inducing dessert. The chunky knit cardigan you were wearing was relegated to the stool next to you, the kitchen felt unusually warm, or maybe that was just your body's natural reaction to being in the restaurant.

Since Carmy had taken over the joint you couldn’t pretend you knew where anything was located. You knew Carmy to be the type of person to run a tight ship, expecting a certain standard from his co-workers.

Searching through the various storage spaces lining the kitchen, you unconsciously bobbed your head to the music singing through your headphones lost to the angelic voice streaming into your ears.

Locating a stack of clear containers you grabbed them before searching for any utensils to eat with, trying four drawers before finding and pulling out a mix of forks and spoons. Finally making your way back to the counter you began ripping the plastic from the store-bought ice cream.

The noise in the kitchen alerted Carmy, the time on his phone signifying that it must’ve been Syd. Inching toward the kitchen he stopped for a moment to check the monthly timelines that were hanging in the front. Every day was filled with a new task, it would be do or die from here on out to even think about opening in six months.

Making his way into the kitchen he stopped the body taking up space notably not Sydney. Your head bobbed up and down to whatever was playing through your headphones. The quiet hum of your voice easily met his ears in the silent kitchen.

He watched as you raised a spoon into your mouth, confused as to why you were in his kitchen this early in the morning. The closed-off kitchen setup didn’t allow him to see what's taking up your attention.

Quietly maneuvering around to get a better view of you, the sudden thought that this may have been an invasion of privacy quickly crossed his mind. He was moments away from leaving you to your own devices before he spotted the scars painted down your right arm. The deepest one tracing from the top of your tricep to your elbow.

Small cuts littered around the larger one, almost like the smaller ones were put there as accent pieces to the main scar. Carmy couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck happened to you after you left his apartment that night, looking from afar it looked as though someone had gone at you with a broken beer bottle or something.

The movement of your arm drew his attention to the reflection of light off of the tape-like bandage above your elbow. His eyes found two bears he would know fucking anywhere, the amount of times you forced him to watch that movie with you and Mikey drove him fucking insane.

Seeing you in this kitchen reminded him of when you were teenagers. It was hard to come to terms with it but he resented you for working at The Beef, resented Mikey even more for allowing you to. It wasn’t fair to you, the more he thought about it the more he realized a lot of the shit he did and felt wasn’t fair to you when you were both younger.

Carmy made his way around the counter you were working at, stopping in front of you the only thing separating the two of you was the steel slab of metal. He wasn’t sure how to get your attention, not wanting to startle you. Standing there watching you shovel what he now knew to be peach cobbler, the nutmeg and cinnamon aroma delicately caressing his nostrils.

The scent easily transported him back to all the moments the two of you spent in borrowed kitchens making this exact dessert.

You were so caught up in the music blaring through your headphones that you hadn’t realized the presence standing in front of you. You jumped spoon clanging against the table as a tattooed hand reached out for the no longer empty container housing the contents of your homemade cobbler and store-bought ice cream.

“Jesus fuck Carmen!” A hand raised to clutch at your chest, you understood how Tina felt yesterday after you snuck up on her. You quickly pulled the headphones off dropping them onto the counter, “Why the fuck are you sneaking around and shit?”

Carmy stared at you blankly, eyebrows raised before his head nodded toward the bowl he was aiming to grab. You rolled your eyes before nodding, “Sure Carmen, almost give me a heart attack in this shit hole kitchen, oh and while you’re at it don’t forget to try my peach cobbler.”

“Heard.” A small nod was sent your way before he shoveled a spoon full of the dessert into his mouth.

A scoff escaped your lips, you picked up your discarded spoon before taking another bite of the ice cream. The atmosphere between the two of you became awkward real quick, neither of you willing to break the silence, neither of you knowing what to say to break the silence.

“So uh, what’s with the cobbler?” You eyed Carmy surprised he was the first to break the silence, you shrugged distracting yourself by putting the lid back on the Dutch oven to persevere the content's warmth.

“Dunno, couldn’t sleep,” it's not like you were lying to him, but standing in his presence acting as though everything was okay made you feel guilty.

“You uh still bake when you can’t sleep?” The sigh you let out was an indication of how this small talk was the last thing you wanted to be doing.

“Obviously Carmen,” your hand shot out to gesture to the pastel pot between the two of you.

“Right…right.” The drumming of Carmy’s finger’s against the steel caused a slight irritation in you. Nodding you wiped the non-existent grime from your hand on your pants.

“Right, well I need to finish my proposal.” You walked the spoon you’d been using to the dishwashing area before joining Carmy one more time, “I’ll be in the dining area if you need anything.”

“You said uh, that you were writing about Mikey and The Beef.” You nodded, waiting for him to finish his sentence, it didn’t sound like much of a question so you weren’t sure what form of response he was expecting.

The silence stretched around the kitchen, an unwavering stare down between you two filling the air with even more tension. You expected things to be stilted between the two of you, but things felt like they were on a whole other level now.

“Well, this is for everybody,” finger quickly pointing at the treats you bought. “It’s kind of a thank you for letting me be a part of this, even if you guys don’t sign off on the article.”

“No, yeah um awesome.” The blank stare you aimed in Carmy’s direction bordered on disgust, leave it to him to make an awkward situation even more awkward, it sure was a talent of his.

You picked up your tote bag and cardigan before heading to the dining area, hoping there was still a table and chair you could occupy. If working here with Carmen meant every interaction would be like pulling teeth, you’d make sure to ignore him like the plague.

“Is that peach fucking cobbler I smell?” Richie’s voice carried through to the dining area where you had sat staring at your finished outline.

You finished a bit ago but didn’t want to chance running into Carmy while it was still just the two of you here. Hearing Richie’s voice and the slight noise as you slipped your headphones off proved that you were no longer alone with one of your oldest friends.

“Baby! Where’s Baby?” You laughed maneuvering out of your seat to head back into the kitchen, unsurprised to find Richie and the rest of the crew gathered around containers of ice cream and cobbler in their hands.

It seemed too early in the day to attack your tastebuds with such a sweet confection, but it was kind of your fault for bringing it in in the first place. You made your way to Sugar’s side with a small smile on your lips as she ate her portion.

In the month after your release, before your house was ready you stayed with Nat and Pete. Your restless energy was channeled into your mom’s dessert recipes, a way to keep your mind occupied and the only way you knew to thank the two adults who hadn’t given up on you.

Nat constantly made it obvious that she missed the constant sweets you would bake just for her.

The two of you made your way to where everyone else was gathered around, you couldn’t lie seeing the empty pot caused a sigh of relief to leave you. You weren’t sure if you could handle being ridiculed by chefs for your poor-tasting dessert.

“This don’t taste like moms baby, you do somethin’ different this time?” Richie eyed you as he raised the spoon to his mouth, it may have tasted a bit different but that didn’t deter him from finishing his serving.

“Uh yeah, a friend of mine taught me how to make this peach simple syrup. It like helps the biscuits stay moist or something. Chef talk isn’t my strong suit.”

Carmy wasted no time before looking in your direction, he was situated across from you, and no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn’t remember ever teaching you how to make a peach simple syrup. He watched as Marcus began talking your ear off about the dessert, the two of you falling into quiet conversation as you found a connection in sweet confectionery.

It was hard to watch as you so easily integrated yourself into the crew, Syd raptly listening to yours and Marcus’ conversation as if you were some award-winning chef and not just some journalist who knew how to bake. As he stood there watching everyone in the kitchen, he couldn’t pinpoint why his thoughts surrounding you seemed so bitter, he didn’t hate you, didn’t think he ever could.

But as he focused on you more, he realized that you were a part of Mikey he never really got to know. Of course, you were Carmy’s best friend but when things between the two of you fizzled out, Mikey’s role in your life became larger, even if you were separated by states and time zones.

Carmy knew he didn’t hate you, but it was hard for him to look at you and not see the relationship he wanted with his brother. He didn’t blame you, but he resented the way it seemed so easy for Mikey to love you, to be open with you.

Catching your eye he nodded his head in the direction of the dining area curious to hear about this article you were thinking about writing and maybe learning more about how it all connected back to Mikey and The Beef.

He made his way to exit the kitchen assuming you would be following behind him. Carmy stopped before turning around, he couldn’t make this decision by himself or at least that was his excuse as he called for Sugar and Sydney to join the two of you. It was probably all for nothing though as he knew the two women were already on board.

The four of you took seats at the table, the arrangement was oddly reminiscent of the meeting yesterday, this conversation taking place at the same table. You sat lonely on one side of the table while the other three occupied the other side.

You glanced down at your laptop in front of you realizing it might be better to join the others, the graphics would have been all for nothing if they couldn’t see them. Quickly grabbing your laptop you wandered over to the three individuals before plopping it in front of them on the table, you walked to grab the closest chair scooting it next to Carmy. You were too worried about the response to your proposal to be worried about being in such close contact with Carmy.

Sitting down you tried not to let the brush of Carmy’s leg against yours bother you, adjusting yourself in your seat before clearing your throat.

“Uhh, I made a PowerPoint,” the time you spent hiding from Carmy this morning allotted you the opportunity to do so. “It’s pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll walk you through it.”

You began clicking through the slides, the nervousness you were feeling earlier taking a backseat as you so easily settled into your element. Time flew by as you grew more passionate about the article with each slide going into even more depth than the information in the presentation did.

“The reach this article will have might just be the difference in The Bear’s success or the lot of us paying back a loan in 18 months.” The smile on your face was enough to show how excited you were at the prospect of being able to go forth with your project.

“Or you know, the food might actually play a part in The Bear’s success,” you looked in Sydney’s direction, confidence shot before noticing the small uptick at the corner of her lips.

You nodded a small chuckle leaving your lips, “I guess the food might play a part.”

Two smiles directed towards you helped to make you feel infinitely better about the whole situation, you were doing your best to disregard the figure sitting next to you. Not doing a very good job as his leg continued to brush against yours which felt like every millisecond, you didn’t want to assume he was doing it on purpose but it did disrupt your focus while explaining your presentation.

“I think it’s a great idea. We’re going to need the exposure,” your eyes shot to Nat as she began speaking. “I mean, there’s really no cons to going through with this.” The encouraging smile Nat sent you reciprocated on your lips.

When nobody spoke up Syd began nodding along, “Yeah, I-I think it’s a great idea, though my opinion may be a little biased.” Her words drifted off into a soft mumble as she realized her previous reading of your work may have influenced her answer.

The two women’s agreement seemed like all you needed, no sign of Carmy itching to chime in. The lull in conversation created an opportunity for everyone to take their respective leave and work on their tasks for the day. You gathered your laptop in your hands and moved the chair you were using back to its original spot.

Making your way to your bag and cardigan you began putting your laptop away and making sure all your belongings were in there so you didn’t leave any valuables behind. You tried to ignore the presence that stayed in the room with you, not in any mood to deal with Carmy’s hot and cold attitude.

“Why is this article so important to you?” Carmy hadn’t said a word doing your entire explanation. It would've been easy to believe he wasn’t in the room if it wasn’t for his warm leg constantly pressing against yours. His arms crossed over his chest, it was hard to pretend you didn’t know what was hiding under the knit crew neck he was wearing.

You found his eyes, the exhaustion in them a mirror to your own. For a minute it was easy to imagine the two of you were teenagers again, the urge to find a seat next to him again and pour your heart out scratching at the back of your mind.

“Can I be honest with you?” You took a glance in Carmy’s direction watching as he relaxed his arms almost like he was opening himself up to whatever you had to get off your chest.

“I uh,” a sardonic chuckle passed through your lips. “I told Mikey I’d write about him one day and…and by the time I finally made it far enough into my career he…he left us.” Carmy’s face didn’t give much away about his feelings making it a little easier to continue your train of thought.

“It's just something I need to do I guess,” you shrugged your shoulders as you faced Carmy once more. The want to be near him won over, taking a few steps to the middle of the table before leaning against it, the once large gap between the two of you now lessened.

“He uh, called me that night. I was at a screening for a friend’s documentary so I just let the call go to voicemail. Texted him after that I’d call him in the morning.” It was weird, Natalie had seen you at your lowest and you had yet to tell her the whole story behind the infamous voicemail that kept you up that night. But standing here with Carmy at this moment gave you a sense of safety you had been lacking.

“I remember waking up in the middle of the night with so many missed calls from Nat and Richie, your mom even called me once,” a humorless laugh escaped your lips, the confidence you had earlier to tell this story dwindling with each word.

“I finally answered Sug’s next call and I remember before she even said anything, I felt like this ache in my chest.” Your hand had subconsciously moved to your chest pressing against it as though you were trying to relieve a bout of heartburn. “And I just…I could feel that something was wrong and you know my first thought was you, tha-that something happened and we never got a chance to fix us.”

“But then Sugar lets out this heart-wrenching sob, like this bone-chilling cry that just like freezes your blood and I’m sitting there listening to her cry and then I’m crying and I don’t even know why yet. And it feels like…like we’ve been on the phone for hours just crying with each other before Pete calms her down enough,” the shakiness not only evident in your voice but your hand that was still resting on the table by your hip. “And it's silent for a moment but I know, the moment the first syllable passes her lips it's like I lose all of my senses and I’m just sitting up in bed, numb to what she’s saying. And it can’t be real, you know because Mikey just called me only a couple of hours ago.”

“As soon as I’m off the phone with Nat I immediately call Richie, and the first thing he says to me is ‘Baby I’m sorry’ he apologizes to me like his best friend that he probably spent his whole day with didn’t just blow his brains out.” The lump in your throat was begging to be free, something you wouldn’t allow to happen. “And Richie is sitting there fucking consoling me because I’m too goddamn selfish to take one fucking breath and make sure he is okay.”

You finally meet Carmy’s eyes again, waterline wet with the tears you won’t allow to fall. “I guess I say all of this to say I owe this article to Mikey, maybe if I had just picked up the fucking phone he’d still be here with us.”

Carmy has no idea how to respond to anything you’d just told him at a loss for words as he allows your emotions to sink into him. He gently reaches his hand out, not knowing if a comforting touch would help, but wanting to do his best to let you know he was there with you. The two of you sat in each other’s presence, the weight of your confession weighing heavy in the room. Carmy knows nothing he says will change anything, it won’t bring Mikey back and it won’t lessen your grief, so for a while, he doesn’t, the two of you sit there connected by your hands.

“Uh, I’m not sure how much Sug told you, but there are these Al-Anon meetings for uh family members of addicts and I’ve been going for a while now,” he gave your hand a small squeeze to make sure you were still listening. “It helps to understand what Mikey was going through.”

You looked down at the man below you, a blank look on your face. You gave him a soft smile as your thumb caressed his knuckles, “Yeah I uh I’ll look into it.” You had wanted to laugh, the irony of the situation not lost on you but you appreciated the help Carmy was trying to offer.

The approaching footsteps easily forced you back to your side of the table, quickly occupying yourself to look busy so you wouldn’t have to explain why you were alone with Carmy. You listened quietly as he and Syd began conversing about something that was none of your business.

“I’m just gonna hang around here before I’ve gotta be at work if that’s cool with you guys?” You looked at the two chefs more so telling rather than asking but still wanting to be polite.

Syd nodded “The more hands the better I guess.” You sent a small smile in her direction before heading to the door hoping to make yourself useful and occupy your mind from the guilty thoughts.

Avoiding Carmy’s eyes as you not going unnoticed by him, though neither of you expected the conversation to take the turn it did. He was relieved that you still felt comfortable enough with him to have a conversation of that nature.

Sydney was doing her best to focus on the chaos menu with Carmy. But with it being the first time in a space so personal to him, she couldn’t help but take in the small details around his apartment that gave a look into who he was.

It was surprising to her really, the whole apartment was bare, lackluster of any interpersonal items besides Carmy’s belongings that one would expect to see. Syd tried not to come across as nosy, or too interested in the small things her eyes did catch onto, but it was hard.

Like the group picture stuck to his fridge with a random cheap banana magnet that no one ever knew they had but it just appeared in their kitchen one day. Or the aesthetic-looking knife set that Syd would equate to something a suburban mom might have in her kitchen and not the gritty anxiety-riddled chef she was cooking with.

What really prickled her curiosity though, was a picture of the two of you strategically placed above the stove. Syd was awarded a glance as Carmy removed his closet from the oven, she couldn’t tell how recent it was from the few seconds she saw it, but it did make her question what Carmy’s idea of an ‘old acquaintance’ was.

It was probably her third pass by the stove before she was finally able to take in a clear understanding of the Polaroid. She would admit she was surprised, the content of the picture far from anything she would ever equate to Carmen Berzatto.

It was of you and Carmy. The two of you were lying next to each other, whether on a bed or the floor, Sydney couldn’t tell. One of your arms was raised, presumably holding the camera in your hand. Even though the moment was captured in time, Syd could feel the intimacy through the photo, almost making her feel too uncomfortable to even be so intrigued by it.

Syd had seen the smile gracing Carmy’s face once or twice in real-time, something he usually kept to himself. He looked happy lying there next to you, like your being there eased him. She focused on you to find you were focusing on him, your head tilted up a little, eyes gleaming full of love.

You looked at Carmy the way Syd’s dad talked about her mom. Like your entire life was destined to be entangled with Carmy’s.

As Sydney focused on the picture once more, she finally noticed the number written on the white space of the Polaroid. Her only assumption that it must’ve been yours.

Her curiosity had finally gotten the best of her. From the way you two interacted, to the Polaroid she was sure she had taken in every detail of , there was history between you and Carmy.

“Hey uh, can I ask you a question?” She moved to sit at the table where Carmy was prepping pasta. She wasn’t sure whether she should beat around the bush or just outright ask her question.

Carmy raised his head, eyes catching hers before giving a slight nod, Syd took a deep breath. She would consider her and Carmy friends, but she didn’t want him to think she was crossing some line. “Uh what’s the deal between you two,” she said your name for clarification, not yet sure if she was allowed to call you by the nickname so many others did, and not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

Carmy froze for a minute, but his recovery was so quick if Syd wasn’t paying attention she wouldn’t have caught it. “It’s just uh, you called her an acquaintance, but I don’t think anybody gets those vibes from you two,” she trailed off not wanting to make Carmy feel pressured.

“I mean you have a shrine to her above your stove.” Carmy’s head snapped up to Syd before looking at the picture above his stove, Syd’s soft laugh signifying her quip as a joke.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled along with her, the weight on his shoulder at the idea of talking about you lessening a bit. “She uh, we were best friends growing up, she lived across the street from us.”

Syd nodded her head waiting for any more details, she wasn’t normally one to pry but Carmy’s explanation sounded like such bullshit compared to the way you two acted around each other. “So you guys like never dated or anything?” Syd’s curiosity caused the question to come across as less casual than she hoped.

“No, no. Just friends,” Carmy nodded eyes still on the pasta doing his best to distract his mind from Sydney’s line of questioning.

“Did you ever like, I dunno want more with her?” Carmy stopped eyes finally meeting Syd’s, he stood there for a moment just taking in her question. Although you once admitted your desire for something more with him, he still hadn’t. And he wasn’t sure if now in his kitchen with Sydney was the right time or place to do it.

But Syd didn’t need him to verbally answer, the look in his eyes told her more than what she had even asked. The two of them were only speaking about you and the longing in Carmy’s soft blue eyes was enough for Sydney to feel like she interrupted a sudden declaration of love.

Sydney cleared her throat, averting her eyes not at all meaning to get into anything too personal. Just a bit curious about the nature of the relationship between you two. “So any ideas on how to make this chaos menu…thoughtful?”

Carmy was grateful for Syd’s diversion of topics. If she had picked up on the tension between the two of you, he was sure the rest of the crew had. And if that meant everyone was privy to the unfinished history between the two of you then neither of you were as sly as you thought.

You lost Hayden somewhere between first entering the store and him wandering off for his necessities. You didn’t mind though, he was nice enough to offer you a ride home and stop by the store as the two of you brainstormed about your respective dinners for the night.

Wandering around on your own in a store you had never been to probably wasn’t the smartest decision you made. Case in point is the fact that you were standing in the alcoholic beverage section trying to fight the urge to peruse through the variety and pick your favorite form of poison.

The sound of your name caught your attention, eyes shooting to Hayden’s impeccably dressed form. You’d be the first to admit maturity had done him good, the sleeves of his button-up shirt rolled up to show off his toned forearms. The top three buttons were undone, his chest giving a preview of what he had to offer.

His lips wrapped around your name again, a slight frown to his brows. He looked around the aisle before his eyes landed back on you with a small smile decorating his lips, “You okay?” You watched as he checked you over, the action irritated you a bit. Was he expecting you to go batshit crazy in the middle of the grocery store and just start hammering away at the countless bottles?

“Fine, just got distracted. I um, I just need some açaí and I’ll be good.” You gave him your best smile hoping it would reassure him, the one he returned ensured just that.

The two of you made your way to the frozen food section, meaningless small talk passing between the two of you.

“I can’t believe you still eat this shit,” you scoffed, quickly grabbing the bag of frozen açaí from the freezer. Closing the door as you made your way back to Hayden the two of you ready to make your leave.

“If I recall, you had no problem eating this in my dorm all those years ago,” the boisterous laugh that escaped Hayden caused a similar one to leave you, neither of you having brought up this topic of conversation since reuniting.

“Had to replenish all that lost stamina somehow,” your eyes widened slightly Hayden’s smirk did nothing to quell the heated feeling spreading through you.

He walked past you, grabbing your hand so you would follow behind him. “What’s got you quiet all of a sudden?” You knew he was teasing you, the tone in his voice bringing a chuckle out of you.

“Just wasn’t sure how well you remembered our college shenanigans.” The shrug of your shoulders was supposed to feign nonchalance, but the wide grin on your face proved the opposite.

The two of you had lost any rush to leave the grocery store, casually walking around hands entwined together. “To forget a girl like you would be criminal,” you faced Hayden nose scrunching up at his words a laugh bubbling out of your lips.

“Didn’t you get married?” Hayden laughed, throwing his arm around your shoulder as the two of you continued around the store aimlessly just enjoying the company of an old friend.

“You didn’t want me the way I wanted you. Had to move on at some point.” The melancholy tone in his voice caused a feeling of guilt to shoot through your heart. You nodded a sad smile gracing your lips, the squeeze on your shoulder helping to alleviate your remorse.

“Listen, Hayden, I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything,” you sighed as you moved to stand in front of him. “It just wasn’t fair of me to commit to a long-term relationship with you when my heart wasn’t in it.” He nodded a smile sent in your direction.

“No, I uh I appreciate it, wouldn’t have married Marlene if you didn’t set me straight,” you smiled happy there was a bright side to this whole situation. “Probably wouldn’t have divorced her either. Hey, should I send you my lawyer fees or.” Hayden trailed off, grin returning to his face as you laughed swatting at his bicep.

All he saw in his head was you. As dramatic as it sounds it felt like the thought of you was keeping him alive, from the way you had all but disappeared when they opened Mikey’s locker. To the photo above his stove that was seared into his brain. So preoccupied with thoughts of you he had missed the aisle he intended to go down three times.

Finding his destination Carmy made his way down the aisle, stopping as he saw you laughing with a man he didn’t recognize. His mind going back to the conversation he had earlier with Sydney, Carmy did want more with you. He wanted a lot more than what the two of you allowed to transpire all these years.

Carmy wanted a life with you, a life where he was the one making you laugh in the grocery store. Where his apartment wasn’t just filled with a, year old photograph of the two of you, but filled with your presence.

He envisioned a life with you, and he wasn’t sure why he had sabotaged every chance you had given him to make that a reality. Carmy continued his journey through the store, thoughts of you played heavily on his mind. It didn’t matter what he wanted though if he never gained the courage to tell you. There was a lot unsaid between the two of you, but you had made your feelings clear. Tried to reconcile whatever relationship the two of you still had left. And the ball was in his court, had been since your impromptu visit last year.

Even when reunited with the girl he had crushed on once upon a time, you were still at the forefront of his mind. The woman in front of him is a cruel reminder of all the ways he messed up with you.

Carmy’s thoughts ran so wild with you as he entertained Claire’s conversation, that he didn’t think twice before giving her a number that had been left on a Polaroid a year ago and now decorated the space above his stove; but not the contact book in his phone.

a/n: it’s here!!! i think this chapter is pretty tame which is kind of out of character lol. thankful to be done with this chapter so i can explore some ideas i’ve been having! thank you all so much for your love and support! please support me in whatever way feels comfortable!!! 💜

tag list: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @jointherebellion215 @jackierose902109 @blkbxrbie-esther @ajordan2020 @head-slut-in-charge @magnet-girl @thebookwormlife @sevikasblackgf @writers-hes @senassn @bunnysthngs @gabbycoady13 @randomhoex @mattmurdocksstarlight @shinebright2000 @royalestrellas @khena @kailyn-g05 @ovaqma @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @awatt31 @cauliflowerpatch

[watchtowerindistress]

the empath and the eldritch horror (3/5) - sparrow!ben x empath!reader

Summary: This was truly the end of the world. Both families chose to band together to get rid of the ball of lightning in the basement. Allison is showing her true colors, affecting Eight. And Ben is trying his hand at pep talks.

Word count: 6.8k (*cough* don't look at me)

Warning: language, angst, Eight's mental health (or powers?), violence, Eight's self-esteem, mention of smut, mention of drugs, Eight has a very specific tattoo

Author's note: This is the chapter I was most looking forward to 🎉🤗 If you know the gif, you'll know which episode this is set in. The last chapter will be then after the wedding shenanigans.

Full disclosure, when I first watched this season so many years ago, I felt like so many others, truly angry at Allison. It's why I didn't want to do a re-watch, but now I have a more balanced approach. Not to mention, yes, Eight is deeply affected by Viktor and Allison, but ... at the same time, she gets it in a way, so she's more neutral about it. I think the next chapter delves deeper into that.

This chapter is so long because I included the whole episode (almost) from start to finish. You're welcome. 😘

Please please please write a small comment or reblog this.

Series masterlist

The absolute impossible happened. Who knew that both Hargreeves families could get over their petty squabbles and band together to defeat a common foe? This time around they chose to acknowledge that the Kugelblitz signaled a more pressing matter in spite of the egos of some people itching to kill the others.

Ben followed after Fei by sauntering into the sitting room as soon as some of your siblings had arrived to start off the family meeting and to deal with the next cataclysmic event.

Ben frowned impatiently at Fei’s inquiry about Diego’s hand—it was probably half curiosity and half a morbid way of making friends by feigning interest. “We don’t have time for idle chitchat. Everyone, sit down.”

Diego decided to be his typical brotherly self. “Please would be nice.”

His partner in crime (as you lovingly called her in your head) called Lila chuckled at his antics.

Ben barely turned his head in his direction when he uttered with a serious, “No.” With a frown, he tilted his head, scrutinizing the guests with a subtle glimpse. “Where’s the Empath?”

Casting his suspicious gaze onto Ben, Diego narrowed his eyes at this fascination. Maybe this was the overprotective brother in him who didn’t like the idea of this version of Ben being mesmerized by you—for whatever nefarious motives. Since he didn’t want to imagine anything else going on there.

Stretching his arm against his thigh as he leaned forward, Diego demanded with an accusatory voice, “Why do you care?”

Ben waved a hand, smirking widely to get under his skin. “Maybe I’d rather appreciate the presence of the sensitive sibling rather than the knife guy bashing his head through the fucking wall.”

“You little-” Diego hissed.

This was the moment when you arrived at the Academy. “I heard someone requested my being here,” you sang, hoping to de-escalate any frictions with your arrival.

The tension in Ben’s shoulders dissolved. You reminded yourself to appear as easy-going as possible when you passed Ben. Trying to disregard the intense gaze he sent you over your shoulder. You picked the seat in the middle of the couch, between Diego and Five, just in case Diego and Ben decided to butt heads.

Mildly curious, Diego grumbled, “How can you even stand the guy?” while waving a hand in Ben’s general direction as a gesture of irritation.

This was just your idea of a good time. To be subjected to being the woman in the middle trying to mediate between two pig-headed guys.

You sat down with a sigh, sending Ben a teasing expression. “Sometimes he reminds me of you.”

Their reaction was instantaneous.

Ben’s face contorted into a grimace. “Don’t insult me.”

Simultaneously, Diego added, “Not funny.”

Fei and Lila’s chuckles eased the tension in the room. But this appeared short-lived.

“Are we done now with the little stand-up show? Can we get on with it?” This time, Ben branded you with his dark stare.

You exhaled heavily, choosing to grant Ben this small amount of silence and Luther the opportunity to say his part, due to him bringing everyone together. The absence of Klaus and Viktor was starting to concern you. It was the not knowing part which bothered you, especially since there was this specific tradition in this family to not tell anyone anything. So, the chances of being absorbed by the Kugelblitz or being kidnapped were equally high. Or they just didn’t care to show up.

As soon as your gaze wandered around the room, the darkness emanated from Allison like a cloud, prompting you to slowly turn your head. Wisps of dark smoke encircled her being more and more by every second.

When Allison’s gaze almost found you reluctantly, you mouthed, “You good?”

The coldness in her eyes froze you in place, when she muttered, “Never better.”

Luther distracted you from your anxious mind when he stood up to face the families. “So, uh…” He cleared his throat. “This is kinda nice, right? All of us here together. One big happy family.” Luther chuckled before he bent down towards Sloane who was sitting in a chair across from you. “I feel like I’m sweaty. Am I sweating?”

“No, you’re fine.” Sloane whispered back reassuringly.

“Look, I know there’s been bad blood between us,” Ben admitted with a carefree voice, like everything which transpired between the families was just water under the bridge already. “Whatever. Bygones, right?”

Faking a smile to speed up the process, Ben pointed at Diego as soon as he raised his hand. “Question?”

“Yeah, if I kill you, do we get our Ben back?” He said, prompting Fei to snicker in jest.

You sighed, leaning back against the back of the couch. Diego must have sensed the grim expressions on Ben’s face and yours when he added, “Hypothetically.”

“Guys,” you admonished your brother. You felt the itch in your fingers before you finally relented and nervously nibbled on of the snacks which was laid out on the table like a small peace offering or a more strategic distraction. Knowing you would need the food to get you through the rest of the meeting.

“Keep talking, and your hand won’t be the only thing bleeding,” Ben hissed through gritted teeth.

“Okay, if the testosterone twins are done,” Five interrupted before a fight could fully break out between the Twos, “I’d like to get back to a plan.”

The sudden appearance of Viktor was a welcome distraction. But that was before you detected the yellow tendrils of fear wafting around him. Viktor rushed in, demanding answers while alternating his gaze between Allison and Ben. “Where is he? What did you do to Harlan?”

Ben had the good instinct to sneakily take a seat between Five and you. You were grateful that you functioned as a buffer next to Diego. He picked up the tub of cheese balls from the table and placed it in his lap, watching (and relishing) in rapt fascination the drama unfolding. You felt an altercation between Allison and Viktor about to boil over, not knowing whether to step in or letting it play out. Judging by Allison’s pain, you felt concerned if it could be contained for long.

“They didn’t do anything. I did. I killed Harlan,” Allison stated without emotion in her voice.

You knew better though. Allison’s eyes told you how this deplorable action wasn’t as easy for her as she wanted to let on.

The longer you remained in their vicinity—especially when Viktor was added to the mix—an almost deafening sensation grew in your ears. You tried to keep your emotions in check, afraid of what would happen if you would let it erupt. Sometimes you hated being this vessel of empathy. Like you were just along for the ride or were some sort of empty glass while the emotions of others filled you with water, making it a part of you. Leaving you to yourself while you tried to stop it from overspilling.

Sensing the overflowing feelings of rage and vindication from Allison’s side and the pain and grief on both sides, you experienced their conflict at parts like some sort of tunnel vision.

“Because he didn’t deserve to live,” Alison avowed, expecting it to be a given.

Uncomfortable silence prevailed the longer Allison and Viktor remained in their stalemate.

You tried to get your breathing under control and focused on anything else than the clashing of ideologies. Needing to distract yourself, you tried to hone in on Ben’s mischief taking over.

“Twenty bucks on the little one,” Ben whispered to Five before munching on his snack.

“I’ll take that action,” Five agreed quietly.

“I know Harlan killed all of our mothers.” Allison’s statement pulled you back after only listening to their voices halfheartedly.

Your siblings erupted into shocked reactions at that turn of events. “What?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” Viktor attempted to appease the rest of his family, despite Five and Diego’s vexation slowly taking over. “He—I knew him. And he was sweet and kind until I made him like us. Okay? So, I screwed him up. And if you need someone to blame, I’m right here-”

Yet, Allison didn’t care for any redemption of Viktor. She turned confrontational while she was burning for a fight. “What makes you think I don’t?”

Your eyes widened anxiously at Allison’s aura shifting into a mixture of a darker red and almost black.

“This wasn’t about saving the world. This was about hurting me. Payback for-” Viktor grunted lowly.

Gingerly, yet menacingly, Allison moved to her feet. “Go on. Say her name.”

With your eyes closed, you clenched your hands into fists. “Can we please stop?” You mumbled quietly. The provoking words of your siblings echoed shallowly while your breathing was turning heavy.

Ben shifted his head in your direction at the shift of your breathing pattern. The tunnel vision was still happening when you felt Ben’s hand covering the edge of your back, but thankfully without touching the sliver of skin. Just letting his hand linger in place. His warmth was perhaps one of the only things keeping you centered in the moment without going insane. Or at least without releasing an exaggerated amount of energy to protect yourself.

“To what? Help me grieve? God, this whole family is so quick to tell me to suck up my pain and so worried about fixing yours! Somebody had to pay because you never seem to. Destroy the world, kill Pogo, almost kill me, and for what? So we can all run around and clean up your mess? I’m sick of it.”

You could feel Diego’s concerned gaze dwell on you. “Take it easy, Allison,” Five interjected.

“This isn’t helping,” Diego added, knowing that Allison wasn’t exactly known for respecting the boundaries of others when she felt attacked as a person.

Ben shushing at both siblings, and anyone who were trying to get between Allison and her thirst for vengeance, reminded you he was still being an asshole. Even if he was being nice when no one was looking.

You sighed, rejecting his offered touch by leaning forward. Ben’s grumpiness was more than obvious. If you didn’t already sense it growing in him, then it was the small grumbling noise he made while leaning back.

As soon as Viktor tried to say his part, Allison yelled, “Shut your mouth!”

From across the room, you felt Viktor choking from Allison’s power upgrade. But this didn’t end there when Allison kept screaming, “Every time I build a new life for myself, you end the world and take it from me!”

Feeling angry for Viktor’s sake, Luther jumped into action. “All right, that’s it. Knock off the power shit, Allison. It’s not okay!”

The gratification grew around her when Allison delivered one last blow. “We should have left you in the basement.”

The unrest of your siblings broke out when she crossed the line. Diego jumped up from the couch with the others, commanding resolutely, “Whoa! Allison, all right!”

Viktor finally had enough when he slapped her in the face with the back of his hand. After being asked about her well-being, Allison assured them, “I’m fine. Let’s continue.”

You wished it was that simple.

With his footsteps departing, Viktor shook off his hand with rage.

“Sweet. You guys fight just like us,” Ben commented with a smug grin on his face.

There was sadness and disappointment in Diego’s voice when he elaborated, “Nah, man. We don’t fight like this.”

Once the air felt clearer with the absence of Viktor—or at least without a face for Allison to get mad at—you managed to breathe normally again. Your body still felt shaky when you stood up, needing a moment to come to your senses again.

Luther seemed to have read your intentions correctly, when he said, “Hey, Y/N, where-”

Blinking wearily, you murmured hoarsely, “I need a moment. I think everyone could use a bit of a break,” before walking around the couch.

Unfortunately, that meant crossing the path of Allison who eyed you with apprehension. As much as you wanted to avoid the confrontation. Allison’s arms were crossed when she faced you.

She smirked crookedly, tilting her head. “Have you decided to manipulate my emotions? Take my anger away?”

You felt too tired for any sort of conflict to arise again. As much as there was a lot unsaid between you two. Unlike her, you didn’t believe in manipulating other people.

Inhaling deeply, you gathered your strength. Truth be told, you had no intention of hurting her. With that in mind, you still couldn’t stop the pain from showing on your face. “I thought you knew I don’t force myself onto others,” you said almost in disappointment before leaving the sitting room and any of that lingering darkness behind. It felt way too obvious when the air you breathed seemed cleaner, less of a struggle.

You barely walked a few steps down the hallway when you heard slow footsteps follow behind.

“Where are you going?” The voice of Ben inquired expectantly behind you.

You sighed before you slowly turned around to face him. “I need some fresh air. Going up to the roof.” You smiled sarcastically. “Sorry I can’t enjoy the show.”

Ben looked over his shoulder to keep track of where the others were. The glittering in his eyes revealed his intentions before he even spoke. “You want to see my room?” Ben’s idea of flirting entailed him placing his hands in his pockets and letting the muscles in his arms flex.

As much as his concept of fun would serve as a nice distraction, you still couldn’t help the little awkward smile on your face. “You think the air’s better there?”

The earnestness in Ben’s eyes couldn’t fully diminish the mischief he had in mind when his eyes wandered up the stairs. “Well, it’s definitely secluded. No one’s going to bother you there.” His suggestion turned into something more teasing. “You could see how it looks in broad daylight.”

Leave it to Ben to try to cheer you up while the situation was so dire.

You chuckled. “Sure. No ulterior motives at all.”

Ben covered his chest in mock hurt. “Moi? What do you think of me? I’m just a nice guy who’s offering his private quarters as a small sanctuary for you.”

You nodded, pursing your lips. Remembering how he could stir some trouble when it was fun for him before choosing to go in a completely different direction when it suited him. “Sure, nice guy.” You braced your hands against your waist. “Would you also give that offer to Diego?”

Ben’s face remained blank. “Right. Are we talking about the guy with the stupid hat or with his knife kink?” When you didn’t rise to the bait, he continued, “Don’t worry, I don’t care about their names. My hospitality does have its limits after all. Besides, you’re one of the few people I don’t mind being up there. You know, maybe I could help you take your mind off of things.” Ben offered, stroking your arm through your clothing.

It was with reluctance when you pulled away. “As much as a distraction would be appreciated, I need to be alone right now. Unless you still want that anxiety attack while being around me.”

Nonetheless, the reminder made him smirk. “Promises, promises.”

“Whatever you guys decide, I’m all for. Clearly you don’t need me for it.”

You still had your eyes closed when you heard the door on the rooftop slide shut. With your hands on your stomach, you were lying down on the cornice and enjoying some peace and quiet. The sensation of the familiar aura reached you, instantly letting you know who it was that joined you.

You breathed in deeply, thrumming your fingers against your abdomen. “I wasn’t aware that I gave off the impression that I wanted company?”

“I was being more than generous by waiting five minutes before coming out here,” Ben hissed, like it went without saying that he would show up.

You smiled serenely. “What a gentleman,” you whispered teasingly. Ben seemed to be in one of his moods. Judging by that, you surmised he met another of your siblings or one of his own who soured his attitude.

The auditory perception of a city burning from the assimilation of the Kugelblitz rang in the distance. The only thing out of place in this universe. With you lying on the cornice it felt like the good ol’ times … if you tried to ignore the abuse and trauma being inflicted on by Reginald.

Ben placed his arms next to your head and leaned his body against the waist-high parapet, exhaling loudly.

You cleared your throat, deciding to take his bait. “Something on your mind?”

Ben didn’t need more prompting when he just as quickly replied, “You know, your emo brother is really something else. I mean, being stubborn just to stick it to someone or because they didn’t get an apology? Talk about pathetic and spiteful.”

So, it was frustrated Ben who needed to vent.

You sent him a small smile, watching him upside-down. Or more like to the side. “Yes, because you could never be spiteful.”

Ben waved a hand in vehement agreement. Humor was shining in his eyes when he smiled. “Exactly. You really get me.”

He eyed the bricks in the low wall. “Sloane, Lila and Christopher are going to work together to contain it. Viktor, as well, if he finally gets off his butt.”

“That’s good.” You blinked at him, feeling like he was reluctant to tell something else. Which didn’t feel like Ben.

“I came here because I told the others they would need your help in beating this thing.”

Astonishment filled your belly with uncomfortable heat. The blood rushed to your head despite you slowly sitting up. Your feet dangled at the sides of the wall. “Why would you do that?” You said with a husky voice.

“You have all these abilities at your fingertips, you just won’t use them.”

You shrugged your shoulders, surprised by Ben’s insistence. At feeling enraged on your behalf. Especially since he only knew you less than a week. “I’m just an Empath. I can’t control stuff which … probably isn’t even human.”

“You’re not—you’re not just one thing. Do you even see what you’re capable of? I’ve seen it. I mean, converting energy? Projecting illusions? And you’re supposed to be Number Eight? What the hell?”

“The numbers don’t really mean anything. I mean, Viktor is like Number Seven.” Even you could hear that your arguments sounded feeble. After so many times of being told to be one thing by Reginald Hargreeves, it felt like second nature to tell Ben you weren’t what he said you were. It felt surreal to have someone other than Diego in your corner claiming you were more than you wanted to acknowledge.

Ben shook his head. “In another universe, you could’ve been a Sparrow. I mean, what just happened in there?” He pointed back to the Academy. “You could’ve influenced everyone in there and be done with this shit.”

“That’s not me. I do that to people who hurt us. Not my own family.”

“No, that’s not it. You know what I think? You’re just so scared to show your true potential. Show them what you can do. I’ve seen you. If you were able to blast me away by creating a shield of kinetic energy, you should be able to hold something else in place.”

You narrowed your eyes at Ben’s advocacy on your behalf, feeling overwhelmed by his mere presence. “Why are you so adamant in analyzing all of my powers? Is this your plan to recruit me? You already gained Luther. What else do you want?”

“I’m trying to help you. You could be so much more than just the girl who feels stuff around her,” Ben said with utter passion in his voice, making the veins in his neck protrude.

“Wow, I’m being psychoanalyzed by you because I’d rather not take care of a ball of lightning? So, tell me, what else am I supposed to be afraid of?” Yes, you were being defensive, but maybe a small part of you actually wanted to hear someone state objectively—more or less—that you could hold your own to someone like Allison or Viktor.

Well, Viktor was kind of a big deal. You favored the possible outcome of at least standing firm against him for about five minutes or without instantly dying.

“You’re terrified of losing them. How they would react to the magnitude of your true self. You think everyone is like Dad. But they’re not. Screw everyone else if they are.”

Wow, resilient Ben was something else. Especially if he defied—at least mentally—someone like his father. Knowing it would be a long time coming before he would actually turn away from him.

You remained silent, trying to process his analysis before you finally found your voice again. “Did you give Viktor the same pep talk when you tried to rouse his participation?”

Ben smirked at the memory. “You know I can be very inspiring.” He sighed heavily, offering his hand. As if it took a lot out of him to even provide the gesture. “Come on.”

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. After some hesitation, you exhaled and reached forward until you felt the warmth of his hand. Trying to pretend you didn’t sense Ben’s respect for you once you touched his bare skin. He helped you down from the cornice.

You sighed, knowing that time was of the essence. “Let’s just do this.”

As soon as Ben and you headed down to the basement, you noticed how both families were already gathered.

Five turned around, with his arms crossed. “Nice of you to join us. Wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

Diego wearily rolled his eyes. “Five’s just being Five. He didn’t have his coffee yet. We could use your magic touch, you know.”

Truth be told, Five always felt like a dark horse to you. And someone who behaved like an old man when he finally blinked back. Sometimes you just wished that you could actually get to know him. Not just the stories of legendary status about the outlier of the family who first defied Reginald. It felt like this was the only thing keeping you from truly becoming a part of this family. As much as you yearned to be. Running from one apocalypse to the next didn’t make you feel like Five even had the time to get to know the newest member of the family.

“You okay, kid?” Diego asked quietly, appraising your eyes for any mental harm shining through.

You nodded calmly to cease him from worrying too much. Something else caught your eye though. With wariness you scrutinized the Kugelblitz in the center of the basement. “So, that’s the thing, huh?”

Fei stepped forward. “If you mean the entity which is responsible for the collapse of micro black holes absorbing everything around it, then yes.”

“And absorbing billions of people so far. I don’t think we have a lot of time,” you said anxiously.

“No time like the present then.” Ben clapped his hands once, ready to get rid of the universal threat for good.

“Okay, how do we start?” Viktor inquired with a curious mindset.

Sloane did the honors of explaining. “Have you ever moved a nest of bees? You can’t just pick it up. You have to keep the nest calm while you build a box around it, and then you trap it.” Her eyes met yours. “Ben said you could contain it. Keep your shield over mine.”

You merely nodded in understanding.

“One of those black holes inside is vibrating at a different rate,” Fei continued.

“I can feel them.” Viktor nodded.

“Good. Whatever happens, don’t let them speed up or change, or everything will blow.”

“Don’t shake the bees. Got it,” Viktor replied to Fei.

He started it off by becoming paler and controlling the vibration frequency, with Lila mimicking his actions. As soon as Sloane used her gravitational powers to condense it, you pushed forth a telekinetic shield from within to keep the entity contained.

Grace’s voice spoke faintly from the stairs. “You didn’t tell me you were building a prison for God.”

“Mom?” Diego asked confusedly.

“The day of vengeance was in my heart and my year of redemption hath come,” she said ominously before pointing a flamethrower towards anyone standing in her way.

You kept one hand focused on the ball of lightning while stretching out your other arm, using an encircling shield to keep them safe. Inadvertently, the flames started to lick Grace’s skin. “Does anyone mind? Not good at multitasking here,” you said while keeping your eyes set on this universe destroyer.

Five had the good sense to blink her away before Diego would have to take care of his surrogate mother himself.

The moment when everything was calm again, Christopher disintegrated into smaller cube pieces, containing the Kugelblitz. You watched in suspense, feeling Ben move closer to you.

Sloane held Luther’s hand. “Next Kugelwave in three, two, one.”

Everyone held their breath. Counting the seconds after the destruction was supposed to take place. Almost like you expected something wrong to happen.

You were studying Christopher when the sentient box released a fart.

Exhaling a breath of relief, you looked at the others while chuckling.

You could swear you even heard him utter audible sounds which sounded close to, “Oh, was that me?”

The Sparrows certainly knew how to party and have a good time. Once the Kugelblitz had been dealt with, Sparrows and Umbrellas alike danced and drank together. Diego was a good sport by cutting off the top of champagne bottles with a katana before Ben poured the alcohol into the flutes of any willing participants.

You had the perfect view from the couch while Ben was getting sloshed and kept on filling Five’s champagne glass. It was actually hilarious to witness.

Diego was having fun dancing while balancing the longsword and jostling Ben from behind every time he tried drinking straight from the bottle.

You eyed the approaching company joining your lonesome self.

“Is someone having fun?” Fei asked with a smile.

You lifted your glass for show. “Already did. This is me relaxing and enjoying myself.”

“I saw that. You and Sloane seem close.”

You narrowed your eyes, remembering you dancing with Luther, Diego and Sloane at times. Your relationship to the Sparrows was slightly less tense than you were used to. But due to the power struggles within that family and maybe some hesitation in your own family, you still decided to keep your distance from Ben.

Despite the dark-eyed stares he was sending you from across the room. You remembered the few times when he leaned his body against your back while playfully filling up your glass when it was starting to empty. Ben’s body language was more than obvious that he wouldn’t mind a few dances with you. But you also knew he would never do that, especially with his family members watching.

“Well, of course, she’s a sweetheart. Not to mention, Luther’s lady love.”

Fei hummed. “So, you like solitude, huh?”

“Sometimes. Keeps me calm.”

“Well, Allison just left, so your mood should definitely increase by not feeling her presence.”

You shrugged. “As long as Viktor and Allison are not in the same vicinity, sure.”

“That was some good work you did in the basement. It really makes me wonder though … the fact that your family didn’t advocate your skills in the first place. I mean, why would my brother throw your hat in the ring? He seemed really certain … that you would deliver.”

Fei’s suspicious mind being disguised as interest didn’t put you at ease. “What do you mean? He just wanted this entity out of his basement. The sooner, the better. Now he has one less thing to worry about.”

“Just curious about his involvement, that’s all.” Fei braced her arm against the backrest of the sofa and leaned closer in a secretive manner. Giving off an impression which bordered on threatening and being your best friend. “Sounds very altruistic. The problem with that is, Ben isn’t the selfless kind, he always has something else in mind. I mean, he mentions your name and instead of sending one of your brothers, he’s getting you himself? Sounds interesting, don’t you think?”

Your eyes caught Ben who was already staring at you and Fei with a frown. You gazed speculatively at Fei again. “Is there still some internal power struggle I should know about?”

Fei threw her head back to cackle, like you had said the most entertaining thing ever. “Isn’t there always?”

You bit your lower lip and stood up. “Why the curiosity?”

Fei remained seated when she looked up at you. “Someone has to keep their guard up. I’d hate for you to turn into my enemy,” she said monotonously, so matter-of-factly.

“Ditto.” You checked your surroundings to watch out for the remaining guests. Noticing how Lila just followed after a departing Diego. Maybe it was time to slowly hit the road while things were somewhat amicable. “You know what? I think I’m going to hit the kitchen if that’s okay. I need to get some food into me.”

She waved a hand to indicate her consent. “You do that.”

~ Ben POV ~

The moment when you left the room, Ben was certain something had happened. The strange look you sent him before was the first clue that something was off. He grabbed Fei’s arm when she was about to cross the room. “What did you do, Fei?”

She smiled innocently. “Do? I didn’t do anything. Just had a little chat with your Empath.”

Fei calling you by that nickname left an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Ben spoke through gritted teeth, “About what?”

She tilted her head to stare straight at him. “You, of course. You’re quite fascinated with her, aren’t you?”

Ben let out a scoff before smirking. “So, you can’t see it? What she’s capable of? Someone who can control the feelings of others? Unlike you, I see the big picture. Proves why you’re not Number One, huh?” He turned his head, knowing that the party was winding down. “You’re saying she left already?”

Fei crossed her arms and enunciated, “Your little Empath was just hungry.”

Absentmindedly, you appreciated the cold taste of Rocky Road in your mouth while sitting at the kitchen table.

“So, this is your idea of celebrating?”

Not realizing you were being watched since you were so distracted from your wayward thoughts, you looked up to see Ben leaning against the doorjamb. “This is me eating my fill.” You let your scoop-filled spoon hover in the air and smiled giddily. You glanced down, taking out another spoonful. “You know, since I’m having a taste of you.”

Ben tilted his head, huffing with small laughter. “Sounds hot.”

You rolled your eyes at that dirty mind of his and moaned, letting the frozen dessert melt in your mouth. “Not like that. You guys even have an ice cream brand and actually keep that stuff here.”

“Right.” With that, he stepped forward into the kitchen.

“I mean, it’s alright. Probably way too overpriced.” Your enthusiasm awakened and you turned your head to look at Ben. “Wait, does Christopher have a flavor?”

“Birthday cake.”

“Huh, not what I expected. Weirdly fits,” you muttered under your breath and shook your head to clear your head. “Anyway, just decided to have something to eat, otherwise I would just fall asleep. Fei said it was okay.”

Ben wandered to the cupboards, opening and shutting drawers. “There is still a bed, you know. Still hasn’t changed.”

You chuckled, pointing with your thumb behind you without looking. “Behind me.”

He pulled out a spoon and arrogantly waved it around. “Right, I knew that.”

You nodded, pursing your lips at his make-believe. “Sure you did.”

Ben got himself a taste after sitting on the bar stool diagonally across from you.

You slid the tub closer to the middle of the wooden table. “Besides, don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He didn’t seem to agree when he frowned in confusion. “Why is that?”

You laughed, like it should’ve been obvious. “Because of your sister? She probably has her crow spies everywhere. Especially after today.”

Ben chuckled to himself and widened his eyes sarcastically. “Wow, get over yourself, you’re not that special. Was just offering a bed. Purely platonic.”

“Don’t be such an asshole.”

“Told you, I’m nice guy Ben.”

His statement made you observe him silently and place your fist under your chin. “Sure you are.”

“I heard the two of you had a conversation. What did Fei want to talk about?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not getting in the middle of whatever it is the two of you are playing.”

“Can’t change the nature of people.” Ben licked the cold treat from his lips. “Still didn’t answer the question. What made you want to flee for the kitchen?”

Sarcasm made your eyes light up. “A healthy appetite.”

“If you say so.”

“Not going to divulge more, in case you want to further examine the details of my powers into your Eight dossier.” Sometimes you had to catch yourself from saying more. Since you had been seconds away from straight-out telling him that overexerting yourself just made you hungry in general. And if it was a good enough excuse to evade Ben’s sister, then so be it.

Narrowing his eyes in incredulity, Ben felt disgruntled for your sake. “Is that such a bad thing wanting you to expand your powers?”

“Not if it’s just your intent to gain some sort of upper hand.”

Ben’s eyes darkened seductively when he pointed his spoon at you. “You’re saying I still can’t persuade you just a little bit to join our little ragtag group of Sparrows?”

You leaned your body forward mischievously. “Are you saying I can’t appeal to you to join our band of misfits instead?”

Ben scoffed loudly, straightening up in his seat. “Hard pass.”

A self-assured expression lingered on your face when you spoke with a dry tone. “Right. Who knew our families could work together after all?”

“Oh please, only a few of them are bearable.”

With warmth in your cheeks, you felt yourself gush, “Look at you making friends. I’m so proud of you.”

Ben smirked mockingly. “You’re hilarious.”

Your mind went back to the party, remembering the unusual side of Ben just having fun. “Were you trying to get Five drunk?”

Ben chuckled. “Someone’s got to keep the old man in line.”

“Priorities, hmm?” You sighed, looking outside the window above the sink and noticing how dark it already was. “Anyway, I have to go. You know, not to overstay our welcome. Thanks for the dessert.” You closed the lid of the tub and jumped down from your seat.

He smiled sardonically. “I wish I could say ‘Anytime’, but, you know, still got a reputation to uphold.” Ben copied your stance, staring directly at you under the dim lighting.

Willing to play his little charade, you smiled softly. “Of course you do,” you retorted, wordlessly taking the spoons and placing them in the sink. You heard Ben stash the ice cream back into the freezer before he closed the refrigerator with a dull thud. You could feel your skin getting warmer the longer he was watching you intently.

You tilted your head in concentration and felt your eyes light up when Ben’s emotional state came in waves towards you. “Why the curiosity?” You turned around until you were gazing at Ben.

With a rough and quiet voice, he twirled his finger while muttering, “Turn back around.”

Pursing your lips with a humming sound, you followed his request and looked through the window which oversaw the courtyard. “You don’t expect me to tell you where the knives are, do you?”

Ben snorted at your imagination. “You think this is an elaborate ploy to stab you to death?”

“I don’t know, Brutus. Could be an interesting endgame.”

“Then tell me, what do you feel right now?”

You closed your eyes, breathing in deeply to center yourself. “Your playfulness, your curiosity.” You opened your eyes again when something else reached you. “Oh wow, you can’t wait to touch me, huh?”

Exasperation was added to the mix when he stepped closer. Ben exhaled heavily before you could feel his presence behind you. His warm breath tickled the back of your neck and his fingers danced around the nape of your neck, gently brushing your hair to the side.

“Are those goosebumps?” Ben purred.

You chuckled, watching Ben’s reflection through the window. “To spare your ego, I think I’m gonna have to decline to answer.”

“What’s that?” He asked, stroking the ink on the back of your neck.

You licked your lips almost in anticipation. “It’s called a tattoo. I don’t know if you guys have that in this universe.”

Ben ignored your amusing nature when you threw him a sassy look over your shoulder. “What’s it stand for?”

“What makes you think it stands for anything?” You whispered, getting lost in this intimate atmosphere.

Frowning in concentration, Ben analyzed the tattoo. You already knew what he was looking at. The base of two pyramids overlapping and facing each other, with a respective line drawn horizontally beneath the apex of both triangle shapes. His fingers carefully traced the shapes before he spoke slowly, “For sure. Very intricate lines. You probably picked this because you thought it looked cool, right?”

“I made the draft. Klaus was the one who held the needle.”

“And Klaus is … who?”

“The guy you punched?” When Ben showed no further reaction, you continued, “When we arrived?”

“Right. For a second I confused him with knife boy. Since, you know, mentally, I punched your knife brother-”

You rolled your eyes and interjected, “Diego.”

Like you hadn’t said a thing, Ben continued, “Countless of times in my head.”

You sighed, remembering the pure form of testosterone being released every time they faced each other. “You two shouldn’t even be in the room together.”

Ben’s voice turned mockingly lighthearted. “Oh, you promise?” It shifted into something mildly curious. “Keep going.”

You teasingly asked, “What do you think it means?”

“Putting me in the spot again? Alright. If it’s coming from you, they’re probably … the alchemy symbols for the four elements?”

He already knew.

You huffed, lightly shoving him back with your shield of energy. “Fucking asshole.” You turned your body. Despite your furrowed brows, an astonished smile still lingered on your face. You had to respect him for the hustle he was playing while pretending otherwise. Or at least his subterfuge as a way to touch your skin.

Ben braced himself against the jostling chairs with his hands while one tentacle shot out to keep his balance. Slightly taken aback by your vehement reaction, he chuckled, letting pure joy shine in his eyes. “Wow, was this as hot for you as it was for me? I like this version of you.”

You chose to ignore his idea of flirting. “I can’t believe you were trying to screw with me.”

The tentacle retracted into his stomach again. “I wasn’t. Well, not totally. Doesn’t explain the reason behind it. Why the four elements?”

“I figured after Reginald forced this tattoo on us, I should choose for myself what I really want to do with my body. And I learned while Klaus and I were experimenting with his recreational stuff-”

You appreciated the small moment of real and unguarded whimsy in Ben’s eyes. Something candid than just the sarcastic kind.

“I learned that my powers would enhance when I was connected to some of those elements. Like some sort of physical conduit. Showed me that everything was connected around me. That my mind could settle when everything around me was calm.”

His body language shifted into something more calculating with his next words. “Maybe you should just influence your environment, so you can finally calm your mind.”

“That would be more like a temporary solution.”

“Perhaps you should just stick with me. This way I can show you a better perspective than what your family is offering you.” Ben placed his hands in his pockets. “It could help you sleep better at night.” Almost like he was reminding you of his proposal, he widened his arms. “Offer still stands, you know.”

You chuckled. “Maybe next time,” you said, merely delaying the inevitable. With a small sigh, you advanced towards him until there was barely any distance separating the two of you. With delicate motions, you touched his neck, letting warmth wander through your fingertips.

His skin started to glow dimly under your hand. Wordlessly, he covered your hand with his. A part of you wanted to believe that he wanted you to burrow yourself deeper into him.

Ben inhaled deeply. “I’ll hold you up to that.”

Tagging: @cherryinsalemverse @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @blackmagicwoman @lelaamela @kit-k4t @callsignwidow

[mimikoolover]

I haven't seen any hate or negative comments directly, I've only seen people discuss the negativity and this is not meant to come across defensive but I wanted to write out some of my thoughts cause why not lol

some things that stood out to me about the travel show include confirmation again about the thing I keep saying is that jikook make the effort to understand and care for each other (and as a side note I find it so hilarious that people are so determined to misunderstand them) for example when jimin said he knew it had to be him to make the travel show happen. what this means (I think) is that he pushed the idea forward so that it actually became a reality (with the implication that it would not have been jungkook to do that). it's so funny that people wanna say this means that jungkook doesn't care about jimin when that is not true at all and such a wild thing to imply (if it was true, jimin would know by now and he would not try. also jungkook would keep rejecting jimin's ideas). if you look at it from jungkook's perspective it undoubtedly feels really nice to have someone care this much about you. they know each other well and they care for each other a ton which is just so obvious. jimin had no problem pushing to make it happen and he actually /did/ which says a lot. they know what they need to do for each other and they actually do it which is a massive deal to be quite honest.

I do not agree at all that jungkook was 'off' and the whole thing about people always claiming that he's off around jimin makes me lowkey uncomfortable at this point tbh. for whatever reason people really struggle accepting that jungkook is human and that he doesn't mask his emotions 24/7 and that his emotions fluctuate throughout the day like everyone else's. when he's around jimin people expect him to have one flat emotion (happy) for some reason and also expect that nothing else outside of jimin would affect his emotions somehow. like that's wild to me. and funny in a way cause once again this show has shown that jimin reads jungkook's emotions well and when jungkook gets mad or upset about things like falling off that bleeding kayak he responds in a way that will help jk get over it. you have to be pretty close to someone to be able to do that, js. if he's upset about something and he happens to be around jimin, it's not jimin he's upset with but that is literally what people are saying and that's so beyond ridiculous. again to be around someone you don't have to put up a front for and can say whatever you want and tease each other knowing you won't offend each other fr shows closeness jfc.

personally in the car in episode 1 at the start I see jungkook holding himself back a little but he probably would've preferred to talk more with jimin when they're not being filmed, then they got distracted when they did stuff so he seemed more relaxed after a while. but I think them talking about what happened when they weren't seeing each other etc., I think jungkook would've preferred to discuss that off camera, like talking about missing each other and stuff like that, that he probably wanted to say off cam. even if I completely disregard that opinion, they did not seem awkward to me at all at any point. I think I've been off twitter for so long and have not seen the fandom chatter for so long that it doesn't affect me any longer which feels great but sometimes I really wonder how much people think for themselves vs think based on what they read about other people's perception. and that's funny to say given I just wrote down my own perceptions but really I think people online state and word things as if they were facts and I'm sure that affects a lot of people subconsciously. so all of this is just my opinion but if you actually try to put yourself in jikook's shoes without any preconceived ideas, knowing them to be the friends that they are, it's pretty easy to see how much they care about each other.

[rice-fae]

Literally shut up

No one cares. No one cares when its done to european cultures, no one cares when its done to asian ones or anywhere else

I mean look at the hades game. There was a whole thing about hestia in that game and hestia from an anime in japan. Neither look like the real goddess. And yet people still love both. No one was "boycotting" either just because it wasnt accurate.

No one actually cares how accurate it is.

You are just being mad because you want to be mad about something. If you have the time or energy to care about a fucking video game of all things then you are privileged as fuck and have way too much time on your hands.

Just because you personally are offended does not make this an actual issue. You can feel free to stop playing for whatever reason but you being upset does not mean you are in the right about it.

The game isnt hurting you, its not encouraging people to hurt you or destroy your culture and homes and livelyhood. Its a damn game. If you were out of the loop on whats in this game you wouldnt even see a difference in your day to day life. 10 years could pass and youd never know a thing.

You are literally making yourself feel threatened for no actual reason. It's just performative outrage and really fucking annoying for people who just wanna play a game and see fanart/fics of fictional characters

Go find something better to do with your time while you stop playing genshin. Soon enough you'll see just how useless it was for you to care about something like this. Move on ffs

Wow lol someone call this guy's mother I think they're crying!

I won't give you too much time of my life. I don't play games or consume content exploring religious imagery, because to me, it's wrong. I brushed it off for a long time but now i realise how it hurts people. It hurts to look at the screen and see your faith slapped and stepped on for something to "look cool".

It's not by far the biggest threat candomblé ever faced, it's not even a threat, I never said it was, but it's my duty AS A FOLLOWER to speak up on injustice. That's why I wrote that post, not because I love arguing, because I'm affected. I'm sorry that you cannot empathize with other people on something that only hurts them emotionally.

Do I need to get my temples burnt and my family killed to speak out? I loved a piece of media, then it showed disregard to my prople, and I wanted other people to know in case they didn't want to go on knowing that. You can play it though, see if I care.

I think this closes in my point. While the issue affects me, since you clearly don't care, it shouldn't affect you so that you send me this kind of aggressive message. Respectfully, get out of the way.

Consider not consuming religious imagery in the future. xoxo

[littlemissstel]

For Your Safety- Shiu Kong

Toxic(?)Exbf! SHIU KONG who started to limit the amount of missions you were sent to after one of his closest companio- co-worker got killed on the job.

He knew it could happen, it wasn't completely unheard of but throughout these last few months it seemed the amount of fatal injuries had risen, and that was his last straw.

It didn't matter whether you were specifically commissioned, he would lie if he had to, get someone else to do it, whatever it took if the stakes looked too high.

You had started becoming increasingly suspicious but when you asked him about it there always seemed to be an excuse. Either way it just didn't make sense, there was never a lack of demand for assassins, as concerning as it was, and even if business was slowing down- it wasn't exactly an over saturated profession. You'd be fine no matter what.

You had managed to slip it into a few conversations with your other co-workers who had Shiu as a handler, everyone seeming surprised at your lack of jobs. Even Toji who was renowned for spending his money the same day he got it hadn't managed to run out yet and that's when you knew something was seriously wrong.

You decide to bring it up to him on a ride home after another pointless day of coming into "office". At this point you only used their training facilities which was somewhat beneficial as you became more agitated by the day. You explain that nothing has changed in the pacing of commissions, no one else seems to have suffered a loss of jobs nor money- that there is obviously something he is keeping from you and you need to know what. And yet, with all your knowledge, he deflects and denounces the whole thing.

Every dismissal felt like a personal insult. Did he think you were stupid? A child even, with all you had said gone out the window as quickly as you could bat an eye.

Your anger had risen tenfold, mind going back to the countless arguments that resembled one. All the times you were left in the dark, the hesitation to let you in on basic knowledge, you felt stuck in an endless, perpetuating cycle. And yet, never had he been so quick to disregard your feelings. Maybe it would've been more mature to re-approach the topic in a sensitive light, to explain to him how it made you feel but in the moment you let go of all of sensible reasoning and blew up.

Everything that was on your mind unloaded unto him like the storm surge of a hurricane, going back and forth from present and past you unleashed the wave of harsh words that would make anyone's' ears curl up into themselves.

You could tell Shiu was become irate. Good. That was what you wanted. For him to feel the transfer of anger that he caused would be the only thing to relinquish you of yours, and it only motivated you further. Seeing his hands seize on the wheel and his muscles tense through his shirt. It was like a physical trophy of your work until he snapped.

"ENOUGH, (Y/n)."

"Enough--?! --Who do you think you're talking-"

"It was to keep you safe."

"Safe?" You boom with faux humour, "I'm an assassin and damn good at my job! I don't need you to keep me safe- i need you to tell me what the hell is going on!"

"People have been dying if you cared to notice and they were 'damn good' at their jobs too! So yes it was to keep you safe and no i wont apologise." He raised his tone to match yours and you had to stop yourself from trying to cut into him again.

You've been in this situation too many times before but in a brief moment of clarity you could assess the true meaning of his words. The true meaning of his bearing.

Of course you weren't ignorant to the increase of complications during missions- hell, the agency was becoming quick to let go of anyone who made the slightest mistake, but that was just the way of the world and you weren't close with anyone who was affected. Shiu was though, and he had to fill the paper work and inform your bosses of the ones who didn't come back. He had to bear the brunt of all the loses which wouldn't have been anything more than an inconvenience until the wrong person got caught up in the mess. And the wrong person did, his friend - not that he'd ever admit it.

The anger of his voice turned to sorrow as you remembered it, his stance into fear and you realised, that pitiful truth, Shiu was scared. Oh how your words came back to haunt you, the silence in the air left room for regret and you took a deep sigh in, unsure of how to continue. You were still mad at him, regardless of his good intentions but the guilt you felt escaped into your voice as you started,

"I need the money, Shiu."

He kept his eyes trained ahead, resting further into his seat.

"I know, I'll give it to you."

"No, I need my job back."

And there was a pause. You waited, each passing second your doubt increased that he was going to respond.

"Okay...But, please, start off again with the smaller ones."

"For a week."

And the silence continued. You didn't argue on it again, the conversation ending without a verbal agreement because that's what you and Shiu did.

Create problems from silence and resolve them the same way.

[p-seduonym]

Being the Maid of Yandere Louis James Moriarty

A/N: I kinda winged this one, if you can’t tell already. Enjoy, or don’t, I guess. Do whatever.

You were a maid at the Rockwell estate.

Fairly young, you had worked there for your entire life.

Your days consisted of tedious chores, cooking and cleaning mostly.

That is until Lord Rockwell suddenly took in three wards.

You heard passing rumors from other servants, about the incident at the Moriarty manor.

The count and his wife, along with all of their servants, tragically lost their lives in a terrible fire. Nothing was spared, except the count’s children, who were left orphaned.

Although no one seemed to mention the adopted child that had also perished in the fire…

You felt pity for the boys, only a few years younger than yourself. Especially the youngest.

The eldest son, Albert, was busy with duties as the heir to the earldom while the second son, William, was soon enrolled in school.

That left the youngest, Louis, alone.

And, although you don’t like to admit it, you felt slight trepidation at first. 

The boys were withdrawn, which could only be expected, but they didn’t seem to have an air of grief about them. More so, the atmosphere appeared almost like a cold sense of resolution.

But, when you laid eyes on his bandaged face, you felt guilty for your thoughts.

Ashamed, you made it a point to be especially kind to the boys. But, your efforts mostly went to Louis, who remained in the house most of the time.

Initially, Louis was rather confused by your attention. You seemed to go out of your way to speak with him. Whether it was just greeting him or asking how his day was.

He didn’t know why you were so interested in him, rather than Albert, the eldest, or William, the prodigy. 

Most people disregarded him, the adopted, scarred boy from the slums, with neither age or intelligence to make him stand out in a particular way.

Still, he remained cordial to you. He was even somewhat grateful to learn firsthand how to manage a household.

Soon enough, it became common for the two of you to be seen together, whether it was doing laundry, washing dishes, or cooking in the kitchen.

It was tedious work that you were used to, but you enjoyed the time with Louis.

And you couldn’t help but think he did as well.

As time passes, Louis becomes gradually less distant, his smile becoming less of a pleasantry, more genuine.

He would also leave small gifts for you, be it a small pastry he claimed he made too much of or a flower he said was out of place in a bouquet he picked.

You're pleased by this change. Ignoring etiquette, you sometimes gently ruffled his hair just to see him get flustered. Or you would hug him to coax a smile out of him.

If someone saw the two of you, they would have seen an older sister teasing her brother.

And it felt that way. For you, at least. For Louis…

It felt odd to think of you in such a way.

William mentions, offhandedly, how close the two of you seem to be.

Louis is startled by this observation. He’d never been particularly close to anyone except William, and Albert, to an extent.

He quickly assured his brother that you were just a maid, an innocent servant that knew nothing.

But William only smiles and says he’s happy to see Louis enjoying himself. 

With his brother’s (seeming) blessing, Louis reconsiders his feelings about you.

It was obvious you viewed him as a younger sibling, if your physical affection said anything. But why did that frustrate him?

He wanted to be the only one you smiled at with that beautiful smile of yours. He felt irritated whenever you gave one in passing to a male servant.

Fortunately, it was easy to use his young age to his advantage. He would grab at your skirt like a child trying to get someone’s attention. It was shameless, but effective as you would turn to him with a smile.

Or he would pretend to be confused about how to prepare a meal, just to have your attention to himself.

It was easy when he was younger, but those tricks wouldn’t work as he got older.

So how could he keep you to himself?

As years passed, the two of you grew older.

Your relationship now turned a few more heads. Why would a simple maid be so close to the son of a count? You heard this among other whispers as you passed servants in the halls.

It was endearing, at first, to see a maid so attentive to her young master. Now, however, it made it look as if you were just a tad too ambitious. Could you be trying to raise your social status by seducing a young nobleman?

The entire idea scandalized you so much that you made an effort to shape up, acting more professional around Louis, who obviously notices you becoming more distant.

It’s difficult trying to maintain a proper relationship, between a servant and their master, with him. But you figured it was for the best, since he came of age and wouldn’t remain in the Rockwell estate forever.

This was inevitable, and you had resigned yourself to that…

Louis, however…

He isn't oblivious to the rumors, so he doesn’t blame you for becoming distant. However, he refuses to accept this. You’ve become someone precious to him.

So, he asks his brother for his advice…

For reasons unknown to you, your life had become increasingly hostile at the Rockwell manor. Rumors followed you everywhere, along with disdainful looks. You noticed items of yours disappearing. Pins were stuck in your uniform and broken glass in your shoes.

Who would do such a thing?

Your only solace was Louis, who remained loyal even in the wake of your distant behavior towards him. He comforted you as you confessed all that happened.

Ultimately, it all culminates in someone - you only saw a shadow - pushing you down the large staircase, causing you to break a leg. The one who found you lying at the base in a heap was Louis…

Carrying you to the servant’s quarters, Louis softly proposes something to you.

Albert has purchased a house, in the quiet town of Durham. Somewhat old, but furnished. He and his brothers were to move there soon.

As he bandages your leg, he asks for you to come with him. He can’t bear to see you suffer here any longer. There won’t be too much work, his brothers and he weren’t demanding. There was always a place for you.

As you tear up and hug him, for the first time in a while, Louis smiles to himself.

[bubbipond]

Character-Driven Stories - We Are and Their "lack of plot"

From a literary and film perspective...It's a long one if you wanna read...(:

I keep seeing people say We Are and stories essentially like it have no plot and as someone who went to school for this, I have realized some people don't know the word's definition. The hate-on-slice-of-life type shows always perplexe me because there is this idea in media that if a show does not have high emotions or high stakes all of a sudden it lacks plot. A plot is just a matter of cause and effect. Something happens in a story that affects how the story is told. Whatever that plot is, affects the characters and provides substance for them to keep the story going.

What I think people mean when they say that a story lacks a plot is that it is more character-driven than plot-driven. Using We Are as an example, the characters drive the plot instead of the plot driving the characters. Take Game of Thrones as an example; the goal in the story is to see who will get to the Iron Throne (yes I know that there is far more to it but that's the general goal). So no matter what the characters do, that will always be where the series ends. The villains and protagonist will eventually rule and then the series is over. It's not character-driven because whether or not a character changes their mind or dies, the central plot is going to stay intact.

Then in media like We Are, the central focus is the characters and their decision making. If Phum decides he does not want to pursue Peem then their storyline ceases to exist because the plot can only move forward with his decision to keep exploring it. This is because there is no central goal for the character once they make a decision to stop. If We Are were to be plot-driven then there would be a conflict that needed to be resolved that drove the characters. Let's take Never Let Me Go as a plot-driven story PondPhuwin have done. In NLMG the plot that drives the characters are murder, attempted murder, and imprisonment. Nuengdiao's father dies then his mother is nearly killed, leading him to need to run away because now he is being hunted. Those things make or break the plot because there is nothing Nuengdiao or Palm can do while that is happening. Nuengdiao cannot live a normal life without finding out who is after him, ie, the major plot point.

In We Are the plot is centered around friends and the lives of their friend group. The plot moves when they do and when they make decisions. Stories like highly character-driven ones do not have a basic goal or obstacle as one in a plot-driven story would. Think of it as the action of a story being where the plot lies. The reason many slice-of-life-type stories get the, "it has no plot" comment is that they do not have specific actions, consequences, or occurrences that fall back onto a central theme. Many love stories that focus mainly on love tend to be character-driven, not all, but many do. The only action in these stories that moves the plot is the relationships progressing. When the relationships stay stagnant we tend to get the time in romcoms and romances where stories get boring because the only thing moving the story along is their evolving relationship.

It is essentially impossible to have a story without a plot unless your characters are in a room looking at a wall. Even then, I am sure someone could find a way to drive a plot in that scenario.

But anyway, just food for thought. Also, disregard any grammar or spelling mistakes, my phone's autocorrect only wants to correct me when I don't need it to, never when I do... Anyway, that is all I wanted to say about it! No hate to anyone that doesn't like this show or any other one I just hate seeing people say that's stuff.

[smoshsfavoritepizzaplace]

Can I give an unpopular opinion?

I'm starting to resent Smosh Twitter and it has been boiling over for quite some time now.

There have been quite a few incidents that come to mind...

The excessive Damien slander - God forbid he exists. I know he had that moment with a fan on Twitter, but he did apologize and some people can't let that go. Some have even resulted into mocking his appearance because of it or because of some drama with people within his Twitch fanbase. So, making jokes about his personality and appearance is ok, given a fan of his insulted u? How and why?

The possessiveness over Court and Shayne's relationship and misunderstanding of parasocial - I think we can all agree we are over the moon for them, right? That we want what's best for them? So, why do some continue to act like de facto overseers of their marriage/lives?

Don't get me wrong, we should continue to police toxicity like what has been going on lately. We shouldn't be speaking on their behalf unless stated otherwise. If they've said something in a video, i.e. Court stating she didn't want to be seen as just Shayne's wife, then carry on as per usual. But, I have seen it recently amongst the Court pregnancy fiasco, that some people are undermining Shayne's feelings and are instantaneously shutting it down. And if I'm being quite frank it pisses me off.

Those that are bringing up Shayne aren't trying to disregard Court's feelings or quote on quote "make it about him". It's his wife after all and this could take a toll on his mental health when he doesn't condone these things nor perpetuate them and it is deliberately affecting his partner.

Nevertheless I have seen people go on the defensive and say this is why they kept their relationship private, don't be parasocial!

NO, quite the contrary actually, they kept their relationship private for safety reasons because of prior stalking incidents. Not to mention IT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND WHATEVER THEY CHOOSE TO SHARE IS A PRIVILEGE, NOT AN OBLIGATION!

Would these same people say that to him if he decided to post something in return? He shouldn't have to say anything, obviously anything regarding his wife's autonomy🤦‍♂️

The only other note of mention is all the polyamory quips. Now this is parasocial when all the usual suspects involved are either married or dating, let alone someone who works with them!

An example I've seen quite often👇

They're looking at Amanda/Arasha, they've got their heart eyes in! I understand heart eyes are not conditional, but if they look at Shayne the same, we go back to people clamoring everything isn't about him. For crying out loud it's their husband at the end of the day, what do people want?

The Hypocrisy - In general there's just so many double standards and it is beyond tiring.

X has been here longer...

I don't like X and I don't care if they see all my tweets bashing them!

It just becomes an echo chamber after a while.

The worst being the objectification and sexualization of cast and crew.

Recently, I saw a disgusting tweet where someone talked about all the sexual acts they'd like to do to both Angela and Amanda. WTF?

It gets worse, people liked it and reposted it! Some of which are those who are quick to chastise others for doing it, I guess as long as you don't post it yourself🤷‍♂️

I understand that a lot of people at Smosh are attractive and you'd like to let that be know/share it with fellow fans, but there are lines that you shouldn't cross, especially doing it on MAIN!

Sorry this was so long winded, but I just wanted to get this out of my mind. I honestly can't stand the fandom over there on Twitter anymore. There are some great people over there, but it feels very high school like and I'm not fond of that whatsoever.

✌

Yeah Twitter is pretty bad. I use it a fair amount for the most part but it comes to a point where I’ll see a tweet and I’m like “okay, that’s enough of this app today.” I’ve spoken about the shourtney stuff a bunch so I won’t comment on that specifically, but the Damien/angela/amanda thing you mentioned is absolutely terrible. Shayne once said something that stuck with me, I don’t remember exactly what vid he said it in, but he said something along the lines of “don’t make fun of physical attributes of people you don’t like bc they’re not the only ones with those features, you can make other people feel insecure that didn’t to anything to you.” That’s not exactly what he’s said, but it’s relatively close. It’s fine if you don’t like Damien, you don’t have to, but don’t sit here and make fun of him every time he breathes. Even if it’s a “joke” or “trolling,” it’s still wrong bc he’s still a person and most likely sees the things being said. Also, did you say “Recently, I saw a disgusting tweet where someone talked about all the sexual acts they'd like to do to both Angela and Amanda.”???!? WHAT?!? That’s so gross, that person needs to be banned immediately. Both women are very pretty and I have a crush on them myself, but I would NEVER say anything remotely like that. Is it so hard for people to just say they think someone is attractive? It’s genuinely so insane to me that I’m lost for words…

[chaifootsteps]

I think something that REALLY bothers me about the way people talk about the portrayal of SA in Hazbin (and honestly about SA in media as a whole) is that people are very much “black and white” about the whole thing—which I can understand because it’s a very emotional and upsetting topic—but people act as if these portrayals are ALWAYS either objectively good or bad.

Now. I personally think Hazbin handles the topic of SA terribly and that its portrayal is fetishistic dogshit.

But that is only my opinion, and if someone said to me that they felt truly seen and represented by the portrayal in Hazbin, and that they thought it was perfect, I would never try to take that from them or tell them that their opinion and feelings were WRONG.

That’s so insensitive and disrespectful to others.

And it’s disturbing to me that people in the fandom (and critics as well if I’m honest) seem to think they can somehow argue away someone’s personal opinions or disregard someone’s trauma.

Like. You cannot. You just can’t! I’m sorry!!! All of the people who felt hurt or disregarded or disrespected by the Portrayal of SA in Hazbin are allowed to feel that way! They are allowed to criticize the show!!! They are allowed to dislike it and talk about how they don’t like it!!!

And as fans you just have to learn how to be okay with that. And as critics you also have to learn to be okay with people feeling represented by it. You just have to.

It’s frustrating too that Vivziepop doesn’t seem to realize this either, and seemingly takes people criticizing the show as a personal attack (or at least did so back in January—to my knowledge she hasn’t brought it up since the three days of arguing with people on blusky)

Like idk man. It’s not that hard to let someone else have an opinion on something and not let it affect you. Like. Learn how to sit with your thoughts and your feelings don’t tell people their trauma is “invalid” or whatever, jeez.

100%. Certain elements of the fandom and certain elements of the critical side have got to get used to the idea that Person A can feel represented by Angel Dust's writing and think the show is genius, Person B can feel disgusted by Angel Dust's writing and think the show is irredeemable dogshit, and these opinions are equally fine. These people will probably never agree on this point, but that's also fine, they don't have to.

A responsible creator would have stepped in years go and stressed the importance of this and the importance of being kind to each other, but not Viv. Viv doesn't want a healthy fandom, she wants a little internet army.

[md4rassassin]

StrickPage/AEW Rant incoming because I had someone try to claim that AEW doesn’t know how to do storylines and that’s the only reason they do violence

Are we just going to ignore the YEAR long feud that lead to Swerve vs Hangman? Or their entire character arcs before that? Swerve for his entire time at AEW has been a character where he will stop at nothing to get what he wants where as Hangman has always been the good guy and light of AEW. At the beginning of this feud Swerve did whatever it took to get the world title. He completely picked away at Hangman until he was completely unrecognisable. He literally broke into this man’s house and went into his infant child’s room. Following this, Hangman took time out and expected on his return for ppl to cheer for him (because realistically we shouldn’t be cheering a man like Swerve) but he got the complete opposite. That response from the crowd upon his return only served to hurt Hangman more and break him down even more. Then for the past 2 months Hangman has attempted EVERYTHING he can to get back at Swerve (by entering Blood and Guts, Owen Hart Cup and the Casino Gauntlet and even attempting to interfere in his match against Danielson) all of which proved to be futile, only serving to affect him more. Hangman has become a completely changed man as a result of Swerve’s actions and Swerve literally acknowledges that. Then just as we think it can’t get worse and we think Swerve is done picking away at Hangman, come to find out he stalked Hangman and followed him to the hospital where his baby was born. In what world is Hangman supposed to respond normally to that? In what world is the only response to that supposed to be anything but violence? Hangman is given the opportunity after God knows how long to get back at the one man who has cost him SO much and you’re shocked that this is the result? If you don’t like it that’s fine, everyone has their own things that they like. But to try and sit there and say that Swerve vs Hangman was the result of anything but AMAZING storytelling, you are EXTREMELY wrong. To sit there and say “AEW does violence cuz they odnt know how it make storylines” is SO incredibly wrong.

I am SO BORED of this idea that “AEW doesn’t do storylines” when in reality they are AMAZING at storylines you just have to go back further than 6 months to understand them. AEW excel at long term storytelling however their downfall is that certain watchers don’t think to or have the effort to actually delve into the wrestlers history. AEW relies on their viewers being fans of WRESTLING meaning they will watch other products, they will look at a wrestlers past and they will go back and look at old feuds to get an understanding of certain things. When people don’t do that it creates a disconnect and a lack of understanding that is vital for feuds such as the BCC and StrickPage. I completely understand maybe not understand a decision or a storyline but to completely disregard a companies work and to say they don’t know what they’re doing due to your own lack of understanding is just stupid.

[anamericangirl]

what does it hurt you if people are trans? how are you affected by other people being allowed to be happy? regardless of the "argument" about whether we're all delusional, why judge people for being happy in a dress, a binder, with short hair, long hair, being called she/her or he/him or they/them or whatever makes them the most comfortable? why do you get to police that?

I hope eventually you can find the happiness you seem to be jealous of, and please for the love of god, be kind, because all you're doing here is being rude and mean.

have a good day.

- a cishet ally

It doesn't hurt me and I literally don't care if you're trans or not. As long as you're not forcing people to conform to your worldview and force them to participate in things that goes against their beliefs or trying to silence people who don't agree with you and invading spaces not meant for you then do whatever you want.

I'm not being rude and mean. I'm just saying what I think because it's my blog. I've never said people shouldn't be allowed to be trans. What I'm against is the overt disregard that community has for the rest of society and how they are trying to take over every institution and influence children and I'm tired of that community blatantly doing those things right in front of our faces and then crying "how is us being trans hurting you? We're just trying to exist! 😭" whenever anyone calls them out on their sick behavior.

Stop doing that and I'll leave you alone.