#just general memory problems also
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writeouswriter · 2 years ago
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Assigned clown at “I’ll remember this idea in the morning” thought
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turtleblogatlast · 4 months ago
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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megumi-fm · 6 months ago
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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bg3smash-or-pass · 4 months ago
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reminiscentrainclouds · 2 days ago
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You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.
#*text#talk about unpleasant#sorry for only posting textposts here lately. I Forgot how I use this blog.#Also I'm gonna use this as an excuse to vent in the tags about something that's been bothering me today.#I hate days where it feels like I can't be the same person for even. idk. an hour?#I was gonna say just a general statement of 'I hate how I can't feel like the same person for more than an hour' but then I realized it onl#particularly bothered me today so maybe it's just a sometimes thing. throws hands up in the air I WOUDLN'T KNOW#It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared#about them) and try something else later. resulting in a long line of unfinished stuff and frustration.#I keep trying to come up with new conclusions/solutions to problems I've run through my head a million times already.#problems I didn't know I had or forgot about pop up etc.#I'll be doing fine and then I'll just feel stranded out of nowhere with no idea why and trying to figure out if this is normal for me.#I've felt stranded all day.#it's just ugh. i'm so confused. it's been a day i guess.#all the words i write feel kinda foreign to me sometimes. short term memory problems I guess. ✌️#but also I feel very very locked in a really limited worldview. or just like. my world feels very small like tunnel vision kind of thing an#for that reason it just feels like it'll go on the same forever and ever and ever. which is a very scary thought.#idk if my logical 'well that obviously isn't the case. things will change eventually' rebuttal is good enough to go against it.#so there you go I wrapped it all back to the point of the post: feeling trapped. yayyy#i don't mean to make myself sound so sad and pitiful. usually i'm doing fine and bad things kinda just don't register in my brain#but there are Secret Evil Feelings inside me that I don't even know about and sometimes I like to poke them with a stick.
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junonreactor · 3 months ago
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yaay
#sprites changing in response to finding out that the thing they thought would stop the loops will not stop the loops :)#no more chirping back at birds...rip#i won't lie i half suspected that the kid would draw siffrin :( in the team portrait. i think that would have caused them damage#i'm still trying to balance how much i want to jump back and forth in loop points vs doing the whole castle over again#i should probably be killing myself more often for efficiency. and also maybe calling loop more for dialogue?#i don't want to miss stuff but the feeling that doing it this way is also causing me to miss stuff#because i'm sure if i skipped more dialogue that would also give a slightly different nuance to the dialogues. augh#ein babbles#kind of curious to know. since siffrin has (potentially plot relevant?) Memory Problems.#if i equip a memory that isn't ''memory of self'' does that do anything. given what looping tropes generally involve#and the stress on ''as long as i have a job i can keep going'' etc.#and you know. the ghosts/'reflections' in the hallways sometimes and siffrin's instinctive jump to comparing them to Sadness + 'remnants'#maybe after a few more loops if i replace self with memories of looping...#oh siffrin closes their eyes like they're sleeping when they get frozen now. fuck yeah#chewing on the story. i wonder if the record scratch ''you already have this item'' and the warning to not act suspicious is going to come#to a head. and also how many acts there are left to cover stuff#it's also very fun that since sif is the only one who keeps levels while looping the more loops they go through the closer they get to#being able to like. one-shot the sadness mobs in the castle. especially with an attack from each craft. love mechanics that reflect charact#thinking about that book in the library or secret library? that had a big shiny tree on it that we couldn't read. and the password and the#book in the dormant library we also couldn't read. big tree probably the favor tree? maybe related to the island no one can think about wit#out a headache? which might be like the loop record scratch? removed from time vs siffrin and the king's respective time crafts?#not to mention the party member side quests <3#i just started act 3 if this somehow shows up in tags no one tell me anything. unless maybe if i definitely already missed something#the way i keep misspelling dormont as dormant due to. well. the obvious lmao#wait. i want to be able to find this again. sorry everyone#isat blogging
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sodafrog13 · 1 year ago
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(playing hlm2) damn i forgot how much i fucking hate this game
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melonthesprigatito · 1 year ago
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Decided to binge watch the entirety of Pokémon Generations again because it's been a few years since I last saw it and uh
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Is it just me or is it a lot more fucked up than I remember
#Pokémon#Pokémon Generations#I GENUINELY CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT SOME OF THESE ARE ACTUAL HONEST TO GOD SCREENSHOTS FROM OFFICIAL POKÉMON CONTENT#Featuring fun family friendly scenes of cute doggies burning to death!#A nuked ancient civilization!#A scene of frozen corpses right out of The Day After Tomorrow and Geostorm but drawn in Pokémon art style!#Team Aqua getting felled by hubris and devoured by Primal Kyogre!#Whatever the fuck Courtney has got going on!#I would have included Groudon blowing up Hoenn and incinerating Team Magma but I wanted to include only one screenshot from that episode#For variety#Also that scene of Mimi the Espurr getting punted like a football. :(#It's like the animators thought Hey This Is Only For YouTube and Only Older Kids are On YouTube Anyway So We Can Be Edgy :)#I saw Pokémon The Power Of Us in cinemas and they showed the Legendary Beasts backstory episode as a short before the movie#Only problem the audience was filled with the elderly and parents taking their kids to see Funny Cute Pokémon Movie#So I was pretty much the only one who had context for WTF we just witnessed#Actually that short caused one family to get up and leave :)#Imagine not knowing anything about Pokémon and taking your four year old to see Funny Cute Pokémon Movie#Only to have to take your crying kids out of the theatre cause they got traumatised by watching animated dogs burn alive#All before the movie even started#Core childhood trauma memory formed right there#Actually now that I remembered the old lady in The Power of Us had a traumatic backstory of witnessing her Snubbull burn to death in a fire#Number of animated dogs dying in a fire in this one cinema trip: 4#Like what the actual fuck
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pikachu-deluxe · 4 months ago
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thinking maybe i do have something going on with me
like, i do have trouble focusing i guess it just never clicked before when i heard others say that but my thing is my brain refuses to let me think about the stuff i want to think about most of the time. i usually get music going on in the background of my brain but sometimes it turns into the foreground so it's like i can't think unless i specifically focus on obstructing the music but that's so much effort just to do things
that's why i never really thought i had trouble focusing bc i thought i was just doing it wrong or something but no this requires extra effort on my part that shouldn't be needed afaik
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nerdyqueerandjewish · 2 years ago
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I’m at an awkward point in my Jewish learning where it’s like. I take classes / go to things accessible to beginners and I end up bored. I take classes / go to things not accessible to beginners and end up lost.
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goldensunset · 2 years ago
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> did the thing i’ve been procrastinating for a year and a half
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arsenickittycat · 1 year ago
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me: im gonna write the paper i need for my typography class me: *proceeds to write whatever this fucking thing is*
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wanderingmausoleum · 2 years ago
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this is an appreciation post for characters who have memory problems / autistic traits / adhd traits / dissociation or related things / paranoia / and so forth, and are treated with kindness and respect by other characters instead of constantly being the butt of jokes ❤️
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iatrophilosophos · 9 months ago
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Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't the conditions these assholes r describing in the middle east like, entirely a product of western imperialism? I've heard the line relatively often that like, Iraq and Afghanistan were ~modern~ ~developed~ nations in the middle of the 20th century and just got fucked and destabilized
not that either is a good thing but there is a small cosmic sort of irony to appreciate in the way that the russian invasion of ukraine and the most recent nakba happened so close together and how they through comparison made it undeniably clear how much the definition of war crime and genocide and atrocity &etc depends on the geopolitical interests of the imperial core
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pocketlad · 5 months ago
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Never played TTYD so I never knew what a sweetheart Vivian is. She's genuinely such a sweet and kindhearted character it makes my heart melt. Maybe shes the embodiment of a character that has been through a lot and treated cruelly, who decides to be kind and compassionate as a result
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salemlunaa · 3 months ago
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VOID STATE EXPLAINED: HOW TO GET THE LIFE YOU DREAM OF ᥫ᭡
A TELL-ALL GUIDE TO THE METHOD EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
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so in my asks i have alot of people going “sai, you always go on and on and on and on about the void and different problems people may have, but you never explain what it is and how to get there”And to be honest with you, most of my posts were meant to be that way because i knew of other blogs explaining the void and my blog was just meant to be follow up posts for those who already knew about the void. Although, now i feel more confident and equipped to explain the void in its entirety.
so strap in for this long ass post because this is a gonna be THE guide (if you can’t tell i’m very excited for this post)
i just wanna say that this post is an inspiration and a remix of all those that have inspired me
1. What is the void?
so as you can see yourself and life right now is you in the physical plane (the notorious 3D) you are experiencing the world as *your name* *your lastname*, and your experience is confined by the way that you initially came into the world, being y/n y/ln . The void, originally known as the “I AM” state is when you leave that experience behind, you leave the physical world behind and become nothing and everything at the exact same time. And doing so you can create and destroy absolutely anything in your experience = your reality which is why people call their destination after the void their “dr”=“desired reality”.
2. Why the void?
This method is seen as very effective and efficient once you know how to do it right because it’s a “method” in which your subconscious mind is in full control, which means you can do absolutely anything and that’s not some conspiracy or belief, it is a fact that when entering this subconscious-based meditation state that you can do absolutely anything, which is why i said that you have the power to create and destroy anything in the physical plane, altering your experience. You can change your genetics, your family and friends, your wealth, gender, where you live and much more. You can also redesign things, like a country for you to live in, your age, your s/o’s age, your memories and just your life in general. Just one trip to the void and all that you dream of is yours.
The void doesn’t have to be pitch black you can design it anyway you like, i see alot of people in my dms and asks, saying that the pitch black scares them, but your void can look anyway you want.
personally i’m not scared but i just wanted my void to look cute so i added pink stars to the pitch black
3. How do i get to the void?
There are many ways to get into the void, you can follow a guided many meditation, you can listen to subliminals or waves, you can simply affirm, you can visualise, or you can simply do none of these and go into the void with just the intent, KNOWING that it’s apart of you. You don’t need any method to tap into the void, all you need is yourself and the intent, knowing it’s apart of you and not some magical fairyland. You can enter at anytime of day, because you’re a god and don’t need to be confined to “time”. “Time” is a malleable concept and i’ll be dammed if you guys waste your days because you only believe that you can tap in at night.
4. Problems people have with the void
3 things: wavering, laziness and putting the void on a damn pedestal
a lot of you guys fail to enter the void simply because you try to enter. all the things i have said about the void make it almost impossible to believe, a golden ticket to your dream life with one trip to the void. And because of the fact that we have been conditioned to believe that we have to work for everything we have, this just seems to good to be true. and you see the void as some magical place when it’s YOU, the void is YOU, why do you think you affirm “I Am”? well it’s because the void is literally the state of you being everything but nothing, it is not a place it is a state, hence the void STATE, the “I Am” STATE. it’s a meditative state and that’s it.
When you enter the "I AM" state, why do you affirm phrases like "I am, I am pure consciousness, I am the void, I am unattached to any reality, I am faceless and formless"? It's because these affirmations align you with your divine essence, your true God Self. However, this practice is often short-lived. You enter this state briefly, and when you don't experience any immediate changes or wake up in the same shitty reality, you begin to doubt. You think, "Why hasn't it worked? I must be doing something wrong. I'll try again tonight." This is what wavering looks like. You declare yourself to be in the "I AM" state, but when it doesn’t immediately manifest, you believe it hasn't worked and attempt to re-enter it repeatedly. This endless cycle of trying can confuse your subconscious mind. Instead of truly embodying the state, you're constantly oscillating, creating inconsistency and doubt.
STOP TRYING AND START BEING, OR YOU WILL GET NOWHERE
the void is the easiest thing ever and it is owed to you, because it is you
you can literally enter right now and have every single thing you’ve ever wanted, with just a meditation state, the void isn’t the one with the power it’s you. The void is inside of you and it is lifeless, the only time it gains any power is when YOU step into the equation. As i once said, the void is your bitch not the other way around.
5. Unhealthy relationships
Although the void is one of the best methods i know, i would hate for anyone to accumulate an unhealthy, toxic relationship with the void. The void is as easy as breathing, i know, but it can be alot for some of us to wrap our heads around due to the way we have been conditioned to think (which hurts my heart more than you know). I see people spend months and years trying to get into the void going through an emotionally taxing experience with it. Although i tell people it doesn’t matter how much time you’ve “wasted” and not to let that discourage you because you could really enter now if you put your mind to it (no pun intended) , if you know that it has been eating you up trying for the void going around a constant cycle, please take a break or use other methods.
now with that i say go, go and redesign yourself, deconstruct yourself and create the new you, start from scratch and make your dream self, go to the void and get your dream life.
don’t try, just be 🌊💋
i really hope you loved this as much as i do, now go get your dream life -salem ᥫ᭡
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