#just fuckin do it there are no drawbacks

[fullmetall]

thinking about the impact that learning alchemy during key developmental stages of his life had on how ed views pretty much everything. he sees the world alchemically, always breaking things down to the parts they're made up of, which means he can solve complicated puzzles and codes and such with relative ease. i mean, his own alchemic notes are written in a code so complicated not even alphonse ( who knows him better than anyone in the entire world ) can crack it.

[redflagshipwriter]

Red Hot Ghouls

Chapter 12 part 2/2

masterpost

Danny leaned forward. “I am listening.” His grip tightened on his drink unintentionally until the plastic creaked. He withdrew his other hand from the bag of chips fragments and rolled the top of the bag shut.

She lifted a finger. “Option one is pretty selfish, in my opinion. But it would work. You could banish him from the Infinite Realms. Assuming he either never dies or dies and does not become a ghost, there are no consequences for this!” She made a cheerful gesture and crinkled her eyes shut along with a grin.

‘She’s so scary sometimes.’

“Assuming he never dies,” Danny repeated incredulously. He put his hands in his hair without even thinking of how he was seasoning himself with salt and vinegar. “Jazz- bestie, I don’t think we should bet on that one. I guess I could ask him if he feels like he’d be really good at not dying?” His voice lilted up. He touched the phone in his pocket, thinking about texting just that. Then he remembered that he was annoyed with Jason for hunting him down as Danny Fenton. He didn't know how Jason did that, but it was rude!

‘Should I tell her that he knows that?’ Danny absently wondered. ‘I don't know what he thinks. It can't be the right thing. Maybe he thinks I'm possessed or something. Maybe disguised, like Sinestra.’

She shrugged unrepentantly. “I said it was kinda selfish. It would totally solve your issue. No connection to the Infinite Realms would mean no channel for the bond between your souls-”

“Ew!”

“Or- okay, how are souls gross?” Jazz demanded.

Danny exaggerated his disgusted face even harder. “Uh, I don’t know, that’s a romantic and unscientific concept that I don’t believe in and feel offended by.” He crossed his arms across his chest to distance himself from that yucky shit. Ugh. Nasty.

“Soul is the literal term used in the reference books, so.” Jazz said dryly, as if that proved a point. Danny rolled his eyes but let it go. “My preferred option is that you marry him properly.”

Danny inhaled once. He steepled his fingers in front of his face.

His sister waited him out patiently, but he could tell that she was internally laughing at him.

“I wouldn't say that's a solution,” Danny finally managed to get out calmly. “Do you see how marrying the guy might be considered an escalation of the unwanted engagement?”

Jazz snickered and held up a hand. “See, that's the thing, you're not engaged. You're fully settled into your current relationship.”

His jaw dropped. “I’m what now?” His stomach lurched violently.

Jazz gave him a little bit of pity but she kept going. “You technically accepted the offering when you took him into your custody.”

Right. He got there and invited Jason into the Specter Speeder. He even took him into the castle. Shit.

‘This is my fault. How can I tell him that?’

He closed his eyes. He took another deep breath and put his hands over his face. “I need a minute,” he managed to get out through his fingers.

‘If I had just left him the fuck alone, I wouldn't have had to deal with this at all. I could have minded my own business. Maybe he would have gotten out of the Ghost Zone on his own, I don't know. I'm not his keeper.’

Oh. Danny winced again and drew his knees up so that he could think his head against it.

He was Jason's keeper. Holy fuckin crap. That weird sacrifice ritual had put Danny in a very real position of both power and stewardship over Jason.

‘I’m missing something,’ Danny realized, and felt like he might throw up. ‘It has to have an impact I don't know about. There's always a catch. But the catch isn't at my expense. What did I do to Jason?’

“Danny?” Jazz had switched to her softest voice. She put a hand on his shoulder. “You've been turtling for a while. What are you thinking?”

Danny bit his lip for a second. He lifted his face a little to watch her face. “There's no way something this messed up doesn't have a serious drawback for Jason. His consent wasn't required at any point. I've got some kind of leverage over him.” He felt a cold dread crawling up his back.

Saying it aloud made him feel like he had a literal rock in his stomach, and he would know! He'd eaten a moon rock before just to see what it was like, and then a few Earth rocks so he could make a useful comparison.

“Oh, Danny.” Jazz tugged him in for a half hug. “Yeah. I know. Do you wanna know the details?”

He drew his shoulders in closer. His chest felt tight. He should say yes. He was a coward for wanting to avoid knowing the details.

“We can come back to that later.” Jazz rubbed at his back. “It's okay.”

“Ahuh,” Danny choked out, thinking about Ember using her hypnotism to make him obsessed with Sam. Thinking about Sam made him think about Freakshow.

He clutched at his chest. It hurt, it felt tight. He swallowed hard. His heart rate started to climb. “I can't do this, Jazz,” he bit out. “I can't- I can't have control over another person like that-”

“Right, right, of course. That's what I mean.” Jazz fully folded him into a hug and pressed hard. He clung to the physical distraction, grounding himself in here and now. “That's what I mean. If you marry him, ghost wise or human side, that upgrades the relationship to one on equal footing. From there, you can dissolve it.”

Danny let out a humorless laugh. “And all I gotta do is get him to marry me, when what he wants is to get away.” He felt a headache coming on. “I think that if I was him, I'd think that was a trick or a trap.”

Jazz winced. “Yeah. Maybe so.”

[darkwingphoenix]

Yo @loominggaia

Here's a follow-up to a recent ask I sent.

If this reaches you before that well, I said that in my fanon lore (Of my fanfic), I said that Cyana and Angeline get magical power. They aren't divines nor mortals, but a secret third thing.

Angeline's power is basic asf. She gets Isaac's pacifying power extended to include all monsters, gaians, fae, and nymphs (Including titan forms).

Cyana's power however, is much cooler: She can turn into all species of people, including nymphs (But not titan nymphs). Her forms beyond her human one stay as similar to her human form as possible, and are all female.

For example, if she turns into a dworf, she has black hair, a silver tone close to her own (Sorta) and dark reddish brown eyes. If she becomes a roshava, she's a paler blue with brown eyes. As a troll, she's the palest, tannest green possible with black hair and brown eyes. As an ogress, she's similarly paler and tanner (But still within ogre-range of skin tone) with darker hair and brown eyes.

As an elf, she basically just looks like an elven version of herself. Just skinnier and weaker. She's a paler tan as a goblin, and has brown eyes. In gnome form (Which Angie calls Cyana Pocket Edition), she's just herself as a gnome. AKA able to die if Angie cums over her. As a sirene, she has black hair (Like Salina), but it's fading into a rich navy blue over time. Her lower half as a sirene is a cetesirene that's all the same navy blue as her hair, with some lighter and darker blues as well. As a cecaelia, she's purple with orangish eyes. She also has a pattern on her face sorta akin to freckles.

As a satyr, again she's herself as a satyr. She can turn into either a domestic or feral form, but it takes mort effort than she normally has to put in to become a feral satyr. It's similar if she's a cecaelia: Unless she goes from drifter to walker form the Texas way (AKA getting her head lopped off and then regrowing her body), it takes her extra effort to become a walking cecaelia. All of that goes for her faun, minotaur, and centaur forms as well. She isn't a shaghoof centaur tho. There's a lotta minotaurs, so I'mma say she only has one kind of minotaur form, which is a Diamondhead.

As a gorgon, she's the same as the other non-human toned species in that she's as close to a human's tone as she can get and has orangish eyes. She cannot become a medusa tho. She also experiences none of the drawbacks of each form but does receive most of the benefits: She can use magic in any form, but can still lie and has no arcane flaw like fae do. Both she and Angeline have significantly longer lives, as long as a sirene.

That last tidbit is important, because I'm having them adopt a sirene shimmerling, because shimmerlings are FUCKING ADORABLE

Look at that widdle face. I honestly see shimmerlings and cecaelia hatchlings as the cutest babies of all of Looming Gaia's people. Shimmerlings are the perfect fusion of a baby seal and a human infant, and hatchlings just look so fuckin' dumb it's adorable

Look at this lil goober. There is a single brain cell in that head that bounces around his head like an older fashioned screensaver and when it hits an exact corner he has a single coherent thought. And he shares this single brain cell with 3 clutchmates.

[definitelynotgideon]

This is a Genya Shinazugawa x OC (Gideon Azulyss) MLM Fic 🏳️‍🌈

A/N: a bit of a shorter chapter this time around but lots of action happening!! Getting into the meat of things now, so excited to reveal more over time :3 I have plans...

C/W: Slight disturbing language in terms of a death

Word Count: 1,131

The Demons We Face | Chapter 19, The Wolf pt 2

Preview/Intro:

The firing of a gun.

Genya wakes up with a start. He'd slept lightly most of the night, a level of nerve keeping him from falling deep into rest. He trusted that Gideon would protect him while he slept, but… he didn't want to leave Gideon to potentially face a demon by himself… with a foreign weapon no less.

He looks around. Gideon wasn't the one to fire, that much was apparent. From where he was sitting, he likely would have fallen back onto Genya if only slightly with kickback. The shot would also be much louder if it had come from Genya's gun.

The silver haired man looks to Genya with wide eyes, as one more shot rings out into the night air.

They are both up, no words needing to be shared as they run into their plan A scenario.

The village comes into view and Gideon sprints ahead, his eyes locked onto a large shadow figure who has a civilian in its clutches. He's swift to draw back his hammer and aim for the head…

But he doesn't calculate for the beast's speed.

The drawback of not knowing an enemy fully before engaging was that one had to learn quickly amidst combat. The civilian's body snaps, killing them with a sickening crunch as the wolf demon ducks and snarls.

“FUCK!”

Gideon turns, whirling his hammer to use it's momentum to his advantage as he lands a hit. The wolf was right on him, the corpse forgotten but blood on its paws. The wolf towers over Gideon and Genya's height easily, comparable to Himejima’s height and built in muscle to match.

For just a moment as the silver haired slayer dodges attacks and relays on his own speed, he's thankful that Genya isn't in close combat.

Genya has chosen a rooftop, he scales it easily using fencing and grates conveniently stores on the side of the selected house. He prepares himself, laying flat to not draw attention and make the task more challenging… but he waited to take a shot.

Both fighters were fast… it would only take one false move to accidentally shoot Gideon. So as heart wrenching as it was, he had to wait.

Come on …

Teeth snap just shy of Gideon’s face. He uses the head of his hammer to thrust forward into the chest of the beast, ultimately making it stumble and sending him backwards, creating space for him to prepare a swing. Both charge in, Gideon violently connects the hammer into the wolf’s shoulder as it slashes him, before falling back.

He cries out in pain, a level of fury graveled into his throat. The cut isn't incredibly beep but blood spilled from him and the wolf sneers.

Before it can launch itself at Gideon again… two shots ring out of a double barreled shotgun. One connects with the neck, missing the head as Genya curses and reloads.

The wolf immediately whirls to face the shooter and snarls the most unworldly growl before charging him.

“NO!” Gideon ran after him, sluggish by his injury. Genya was finishing placing the rounds in and had just shut his gun when the wolf lept onto the roof.

Gideon was desperate. Desperate to give Genya more time… desperate to switch him places in an instant… but the only thing he could think to do was throw his hammer.

The claw sinks deep into its back. It howls in rage, furiously grasping for the lodged weapon and effectively breaking the handle in the process. It whirls to the now unarmed slayer on the ground, furious.

Genya shoots at close range before it goes back for Gideon, and draws his wakizashi to finish decapitation. Wild purple eyes flash to Gideon, who falls to his knees panting.

Genya hops skillfully down from the roof and runs to him. “How deep is the cut?! Let me see!”

Gideon leans back with a hiss of pain. “N-Not deep, just… fucking fresh. Hah…”

Genya looks closely, the blood is still coming out of the wound. If it wasn't that deep clotting would have been stopping some of it by now… he looks up to Gideon in concern.

“You may need stitches, the middle one is deep.” He says.

Genya's crow flies over from the forest and caws at the two boys. “Kakushi! Kakushi!! I'll get them!!”

Genya is looking around, slight panic building even though he was doing his best to stay calm. This was the world of a demon slayer, but he couldn't help but feel the same amount of hopelessness as back then…

Another loved one painted in blood… Gideon could have easily died had he been one step closer to the slash-

Gideon reaches to squeeze his shoulder. “I'll be okay. Look at me.”

Genya does so. His eyes show his fear, but Gideon smiles for his sake trying to reassure him. “I'll be okay baby.”

Genya lets it sink in for just a moment, and then gives a little nod.

“...I need to wrap this in the meantime. I need your help to do it.” Gideon says to him.

“Right! Okay- stay here, I'll- I'll go get a wrapping!!”

Gideon nods, and watches Genya disappear around the corner as he runs to look for bandages… that's when Gideon unmasks how badly it actually hurts.

He's pretty certain that the strike affected his ribcage as well. It was difficult to take in deep breaths. The Kakushi would arrive soon he was sure… they would know more about first aid than Genya and himself. He just…

Hated the scarred look on his lover's face. He should have been more careful. Should have continued to evade the wolf, but he got too close. And now he was defenseless, because his hammer was broken in the fight.

Another weapon he couldn't care for properly… tears sting the corners of his eyes as he silently relented… should he even be a demon slayer at this point? Was he more trouble than he was worth?

He shook his head a little. He couldn't loose it now. He couldn't have Genya come back to him in that state… not when he was trying to keep both of them calm just moments ago.

Genya returns with bandages. Villagers start to wander out of hiding as the ashes continue to drift from the downed demon on the rooftop. A young woman has run back to Gideon with Genya, offering to help him wrap.

Gideon winces in pain as his destroyed uniform top is carefully removed. The young woman begins to clean the wound as gently as she can, and Genya preps the wrapping. By the time they have his chest bound, the Kakushi arrive to take over…

Gideon passes out in a cart brought by the kakushi, exhausted…

[laurelindebear]

How is it that humans have such endless capacity for hatred, conflict, and war?

I'm not even talking about Ukraine or Israel/Palestine or Syria or Armenia or whatever the fuck. I'm talking about all of us.

When I was 19 and I had my first boyfriend I thought all the stupid rules around dating and courtship and all that would be gone in my lifetime. Why wouldn't more women ask out men (or other women)? Nothing wrong with it; I have done it myself. Why wouldn't everyone pay their own way on dates? Why would people assume the man would pay for everything or the woman would 'owe him' later? Everyone works now, so why not split it? If we want equality, why not act like it?

But clearly, I was fuckin' stupid, because it's not over. It's not even better - it's worse. Nobody talks to anyone. There's a loneliness epidemic (the discourse of which is focused on men, because men still aren't socialised to make friends or practice emotional intimacy with anyone but sexual partners or even recognise feelings, apparently, but it's not like it's peachy for women looking for relationships either). Patriarchy and toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are still killing everyone and now they have living embodiments all over everyone's life via the algorithms, all the time, telling women and girls they are subhuman garbage to be victimised and subservient and boys and men that women are their enemy to be destroyed, and that they need to be angry and violent to society.

Do you have any idea how fucking tired I am? Why the fuck do we 'need' a War of the Sexes? Why the fuck have we EVER needed it? (Not 'why did/do we need feminism.') Why the fuck are we supposed to be mortal enemies, trapped in endless battle, cursed to never understand or trust each other? WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE. It shouldn't be this hard.

And it's everything, everywhere, all the time. 'Hurhur Americans are stupid because they microwave water.' 'Ugh Europeans are rude and joyless and don't trust compliments.' 'Australians are -' 'Trans people are trying to destroy -' 'Queer people are so - ' 'Muslims need to -' 'Jews should -' 'Boomers are -' 'Millennials are-' 'Zoomers are-' 'Breeders' 'Childless people' 'Westerners' 'Atheists' 'Cishets' 'Leftists' 'Fascists' 'Tankies' 'Liberals' 'Anti' 'Pro'. Every person and every word must be taken in the worst possible light. Malice isn't just assumed, it's mandated. Everyone is responsible for countless sins: their own, their parents', their friends', and those of everyone they might share any kind of group or link with, living, dead, or yet to be born. Everything is a fight, always, forever, and if you're not fighting and hating and categorising and labelling and shunning, you're part of the problem.

I know cultural relativism has limits, and I know all things aren't equal, I'm not stupid, but come the fuck on.

The whole world is hurtling straight into an age of fascism and authoritarianism and autocracy. I'm at the point where I think the 'Great Experiment' (not of the USA, but of representative democracy and pluralism and tolerant societies all together) was always doomed. We'll never get past that wretched, pathetic need to name an 'other' that is our enemy to convince ourselves we're better, we're worthy, we're good. Not like them. And that will always lead to insular thinking and to actual war. We'll never outgrow might makes right. At least two of the major world deities rely on it as their source of authority, FFS.

Do people not get it yet? Your purity and your precious little groups are all a fucking lie. EXISTENCE IS HARM, EXISTENCE IS COMPLICITY IN EVERYTHING THAT HAS COME BEFORE US, THERE IS NO ERASING ANY OF IT. EVERY PHILOSOPHY AND EVERY SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM HAS DRAWBACKS AND MORAL COMPROMISES. THAT'S JUST LIFE. WE ARE NOT PURE AND WE NEVER WILL BE. JUST FUCKING COEXIST WITH PEOPLE EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY SUCK. WE ALL SUCK.

I love and treasure individual persons. People as a whole, I like about as much as I like mosquitoes.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Watched this with the oomf @yurisorcerer, I came across it multiple years ago and cannot remember where (my best guess is it qualifying as a magical girl anime for the mahou shoujo achievement on MAL graph?) and just yesterday as I was clearing my plan to watch for funsies I decided to torrent this so I could have it watched and thus remove another ptw entry.

It was fucking incredible! What the fuck! Like I didn't go into this expecting it to be bad I had no preconceived notions of what it was even about it's just the score was kinda low and I was like "if it's good it'll be like 6 or 7 good" but nah this shit was awesome, awesome to such a degree that I'm almost mad I hadn't already seen it before, and now I'm mad that it released so long ago that the fucking blu-ray is long out of print and sold for way more money than I'm willing to part with. Joy to be found at least in having shared this experience with a friend whom, spoilers for her presumed post (unless she posts before I do anyway) also really enjoyed it.

Elaborating a bit more specifically, I'd really say this movie is split into three acts. The intro gives us an overview of lead pair Dual and Dorothy, how their setting works, and how it's about to be changed with the introduction of Remo. The start's cool if a little slow, but there's magical girl adjacent action in a visually appealing cyber-world with fucky gravity and shit. I was already having fun here. Midsection of the movie sees Dual and Dorothy having become genuine friends with Remo, and there's a ton of genuinely adorable slice of life and character building antics here. The two music montages in a row are both particularly peak. There's a weird bit in the middle of said montages that shows the destruction of humanity and overwhelming dread of war - it works with what the movie is actually about thematically although I get the sense it was meant to be a little longer. We're still very good though. At this point 6 isn't even on the table for score anymore, and I'm genuinely having a lot of fun. And then we get our final act, which I can't even begin to succinctly describe and can really only say that the stakes go crazy, the plot goes crazier, and it was one of the best endings I've seen in what feels like forever. Absolutely incredible. Shot the movie up to an 8. I cannot stress enough that the movie is already pretty solid by this point and then just becomes peak beyond reason. Phenomenal.

Will say more broadly that the literary idea of computers continuing after human extinction is a common idea, but I gotta say this movie executed on said idea in a much more optimistic manner than I usually see, and I think the plot itself and how we get to all this comes together in a really nice way. Like the ending isn't just epic and emotional it's also naratively satisfying and thematically well justified. This movie being such a uniquely particular vibe would be enough for me to find it passively interesting already but being as generally well written as it is does a lot as well. Fuckin, really liked this thing.

Only drawback is count how many times it fades to black though lol.

[intertexts]

oh god i just realized I forgot to send you this. behold: the worst trivia ask out of all of them:

EPISODE 22 TRIVIA:

- they spend the first. 9 whole minutes talking about the logistics of snapping someones neck irl only to learn that its not actually possible and thats just something that was make up for movies

- "this is the most guy talk we've ever had at the beginning of a rolled. i feel like we need a trigger warning for boys"

- bizly wanted them seeing tide again to feel awkward and weird! like you're going back to your parents house after not seeing them for a really long time

- talking about how dakota has so many parental figures now and grizzly goes "except for ms. g. she has my whole heart" and WITHOUT missing a beat charlie goes "no. *i* have your whole heart"

- there was apparently a group of people on twitter who made a VERY long VERY well researched document about how all the medical stuff esp involving william would work and kept tagging bizly in posts asking how things would work and hes like "man i dont know!! i write a silly superhero show im not a doctor! it all comes down to his parents built a very strange machine that was designed to view worlds unseen!" (<< quoting the dp theme song in the most EXASPERATED voice possible.)

- "WILLIAM WISP SHOULD HAVE FUCKIN WORMS IN HIM. if we were playing this realistically william would be fuckin LOCKED UP with rigor mortis and COVERED in worms and FULL OF GASSES. he should be FOUL. and FULL OF WORMS. and I DONT WANT THAT" << hes a coward for this. btw. i feel like william should be grosser

- they just keep saying more things about how william should be so grotesque. at one point charlie goes "please dont draw this. its so gross". me, looks at my 4/7 jrwi freak week canvases that are william wisp themed. um. well.

- WARM BODIES MENTION. i love that movie. charlies like "thats how i want william to work hes undead but hes like. pretty about it"

- bizly: "because we've already explored this plot thread of William Being Dead so much, i dont want him getting a heart to just automatically fix that. its not like hes just magically alive now. i havent thought of the exact consequences yet but i want there to be some drawbacks to this to keep things interesting"

charlie: "william is just thrilled right now to be feeling stuff. i dont think hes considering the possible drawbacks"

- "ive never been prouder of any of my characters than when william wisp dented drywall"

- "why didnt vyncent get a fun surgery too" "because I'm a coward"

- they were on some absolutely insane energy for this rolled they keep going on like 5-10 minute long tangents and BARELY talk about the episode other than to mention how william should be a rotting corpse. I REMEMBER NOW that this was a SIGNIFICANT factor in my being frustrated with the heart surgery thing LMAO

- THATS IT. THATS LITERALLY IT. THE ROLLED IS OVER NOW. THIS WAS NOTHING !!!!!

TERRIBLE rolled youre right!!!!! help!!! this is so funny. great rolled guys lets wrap it up. william should be wormy and u cant snap peoples necks. good job everybody. it is really funny to me that people were... expecting medical accuracy?? how do u really seriously research putting one guys heart and another guys blood inside a body that's been dead for several years. frankly i would love to see it i'm very curious.

LOWKEY I'M GLAD HE *ISN'T* A BLOATED LOCKED UP DECAYING CORPSE!!!!! PERSONALLY!!!! i fully respect ur rights and taste to think he should be rotting and worm filled and stinky but frankly i'm on charlies side w this one. hes undead and pretty about it <33

anyway. i still have many thoughts about wiwi's soul/body/wisp relationship that i will NOT start talking about now because it would get LONG. but. its always great hearing their thoughts on it. eyes emoji. but yeah i really don't want him to be just magically fixed and alive now.... we'll see!! we'll see how it goes!!!!

[firelord-frowny]

this is my second bout with using ~menstrual discs~ instead of tampons annnnnnd i'm sold!

my one remaining hesitation is how i'll deal with changing them in public bathrooms.

obviously, ya cant take them out without gettin ya hands bloody lmao. and in most public bathrooms, you have to exit the stall before you can use the sink! so like, how do you un-bloody your hands enough to pull ya pants back up without getting blood on them?

i could carry wet wipes, i suppose? the drawback of which would be a waste of paper.

another issue would be that i can't imagine being able to successfully change it without actually sitting on the toilet? and i Don't Do That lmaoooo i'm a squatter. ill fuckin die before i let one bit of flesh touch a public toilet.

supposedlyyyyyyy the softdisks can be ~emptied~ in a "hands free" way where you just... squeeze ya muscles like you're tryna poop real hard lmao and it'll push the blood out??? so i guess that could be an option if im in a situation where it would be too cumbersome to actually try to take it out and dump it in the toilet and dispose of it (did i mention the kind im using are single-use disposable ones? might upgrade to a reusable one tho, since i plan to continue using softdisks).

but i thinkkkkkkkkkkk maybe i'll be more comfortable with continuing to use tampons when i have to Go Out, just because i know i can easily change them in public restrooms if necessary?

but i also suspect that after i use the disks for a while longer, i'll get a better sense for how long i can keep one in without needing to change it.

so we'll see!

[theoddcatlady]

I was hired to transport an exotic pet to its buyer

“Come on, man, it’s an easy three grand. We just gotta drive through the night.”

I stared at Tucker, my best and stupidest friend. “And it’s not drugs? We aren’t transporting coke or something?” I asked.

“No, dude, it’s not illegal,” He rolled his eyes, “and it’s not drugs or people. I asked.”

I chewed on my inner lip as I considered the drawbacks to joining Tucker on another of his poor life decisions. “What is it then?” I asked.

Tucker shrugged. “All the guy said was come by tonight with a friend.”

God, this was a mistake. I even knew at the time it was a mistake. But I was out of work, like a lot of other people right now. I just needed a little money to hold me over until I could get another job.

So two weeks ago, I went with Tucker to meet with a Mr. Ezra Mack.   

Ezra is a portly, short dude with an oversized mustached and droopy eyes. We met with him at a vacant lot just outside of town where the summer fair usually set up, of course, that wasn’t really a thing this year so it was just an empty field with a few pieces of garbage fluttering about. After giving me a once over, Ezra just nodded and said, “You’ll do. Come on, boys.”

We followed Ezra to the other side of the lot, where a U-Haul truck quietly idled away. “Get this to the customer by mornin’, I’ll have three thousand for the each of you, and probably a few more jobs waiting.”

I glanced at Tucker, who was clearly just seeing dollar signs, but I was a little more skeptical. “What’s in it?” I asked.

Ezra chuckled before gesturing forward. “Take a peek son, just keep your distance,” He said.  

Somewhat relieved that he didn’t seem all that concerned by me seeing what was inside, I went up to the truck and opened up the back.  

All I could make out in the darkness was a cage. Then I saw a pair of eyes looking back and I heard a beastly snarl.

I yelped and fell back on my ass. Ezra laughed it up some more and he shut the door before I could get a better look. “Exotic pets, people pay an arm and a leg for somethin’ that can gobble them and their kids up,” He said.

“Is it a tiger?” Now Tucker looked disappointed he didn’t get a better look.

“Sure, if that makes you feel better.” Ezra helped me back to my feet and patted my shoulder. “Clock’s tickin’, so get a move on. I suggest you don’t think too hard about it and don’t take too many stops until you reach the customer. And stay out of the fuckin’ back. He’s caged for now, but I don’t want either of you pissin’ him off, I’m not payin’ for your hospital bill.”  

I nodded. I didn’t need to be told twice. You know, I was actually relieved it was ‘just’ a tiger, considering the other less favorable options like drug or human trafficking.

After Tucker and I played a round of rock paper scissors, it turned out I was going to be driving for the first leg. We only stopped for a bit to get a six pack of Pepsi and a few bags of Lay Chips before we were on the road.

“So how big was it?” Tucker asked after we really got going.

“I couldn’t see, probably huge. Hope it’s not a man eater,” I joked.  

Tucker elbowed me before he began tossing potato chips in his mouth. “Tigers were always my favorite as a kid,” He said between crunches. “But I don’t think they make good pets.”

“It’s legal in this state… I think. It’s like Tiger King.” 

“Have you even fucking seen that show yet?”

“My ex changed the Netflix pass before I could.”  

Tucker began to loudly cackle before an exceptionally loud snarl jerked us both back into reality- even if it was in a cage, there was a very dangerous animal in the back of our truck, only the bars of its cage and the thin siding of the truck keeping it from ripping our heads off if it so pleased. Tucker laughed nervously before stuffing more chips in his mouth.

I don’t really mind driving, not even at night. It’s kinda relaxing, usually the roads are pretty empty and I can just daydream away. Of course, usually I don’t have to hear quiet growling coming behind me every few minutes. It wasn’t constant, just every now and then I’d start to relax and then I’d hear the growling. Definitely kept me on alert.

Honestly, if we hadn’t gotten pulled over, we would’ve made it to the customer with no problems and I never would’ve thought twice about it.

But when I saw those red and blue lights in my side view mirror, my stomach practically dropped into my feet. Tucker had been pretty chipper until that point as well, I swear his dark face went a few shades paler as I pulled over. “What do we do?” He asked.

“Bullshit him until he leaves us the fuck alone,” I hissed back.  

The cop strode up to the truck a minute or so later, flashing his light in. I could tell off the bat this was not going to be pleasant. I won’t pretend that I know every cop in the world, but every cop I’ve met has been an insufferable jackass. Especially when they think I’m up to something, which other than that night, I really haven’t ever been.  

“License and registration, please,” He said.  

I just reminded myself he had a gun before I got my license. “Not my truck, officer, I’m doing a favor for a friend,” I said.  

“What kind of favor?” He eyed the truck.

“Moving things. We’ve been driving for like five hours already,” I said.  

The cop ‘humphed’ before glancing at my license. I prayed for it to be over.

But of course, the tiger chose that moment to start kicking up a ruckus.  

I cringed as I heard the growling and snarling kick up full force, and I knew I heard Tucker face palm.

The cop scowled before handing me back the license. “Stay there,” He ordered before he strode to the back of the truck. I didn’t bother with the ‘But you need a warrant’ bit, I knew I was screwed. My lack of knowledge about exotic pets was now coming to bite me in the ass. It probably was illegal to keep tigers in my state and I just didn’t know.  

Cop threw open the back door. There was a beat of silence. Then a ‘What the-’. Then a crash and a scream of terror.

Didn’t matter if the guy was a jerk, I immediately leaped out of the truck to go rescue him, Tucker hot on my heels. I skidded to a stop in the back of the truck, flicked on my phone’s light, and pointed it into the truck, seeing that the bars had been ripped apart like cardboard before I focused on the ‘pet’.

… Yeah, no, that definitely wasn’t a tiger.  

The humanoid creature back there was nearly big enough to reach the ceiling, his antlers made it the rest of the way. He had the cop crushed between his clawed hands, the man’s face white with shock before the creature opened its mouth and smashed down on his skull.  

Blood and gore sprayed out from what remained of the cop’s head and Tucker did the smart thing by slamming the door shut.  

We both bolted for the front of the truck, before I made it I ended up spewing out my stomach contents all over the ground. With trembling legs I climbed back into the truck, where Tucker was in the middle of a panic attack.

“What… the fuck… was that?” Tucker managed to get out as he hyperventilated.  

I shook my head, wiping a bit of puke off my lips. I now missed the growling, now replaced by crunching and a wet tearing. I glanced at the GPS, we had an hour to go.

Mechanically, I put the truck in gear and began driving off, ignoring Tucker asking what the fuck we were doing. In truth, I’m not sure what I was thinking. All I could think was ‘get this fucker to our destination and get the hell out of here’.  

The chewing became white noise, my focus mostly on the road in front of us. Our destination was thankfully tucked way back in the woods, no more interstate for us, but what was worse was when the horrifying mastication of the body finally drew to a close.

The chewing was replaced by a sound that made the hair on my neck stand on end.

Whispering. From the back of the truck I swear to god I heard whispering.  

I craned my ears in an attempt to make out any distinct words, but it was too muffled for me to make out any clear words. Tucker began reciting the Lord’s Prayer, whimpering in between each breath. I just gripped that steering wheel even tighter and watched the minutes tick down slowly on the GPS.

The house we pulled up to was pretty nice, it wasn’t like a woodland mansion or anything but I certainly couldn’t afford it. Tucker bailed from the truck before I even came to a full stop, and I wasn’t far behind him.  

I sped walk to the front door and didn’t even knock before the customer opened up.  

He looked so normal, man. Like the average dude you’d pass on the sidewalk and promptly forget in two seconds. Not like a person who was buying monsters. But he glanced back at the truck and his eyes just lit up. “Is he here?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I wiped the sweat off my forehead, “The cage is broken though. And it ate someone.”  

The man sighed and somehow had the nerve to look relieved. “Well, if he’d fed, that’ll actually make things easier. His hunger will be sated for the moment. Come on in, put your feet up for a bit. We can handle it from here,” He said.  

Tucker and I waited in the man’s kitchen, sipping flat Pepsi and doing our best not to look out the window where the man and a few other people were getting that thing out of the back of the truck. The man came in about half an hour later, told us they sprayed out the inside of the truck, handed us a few wadded up hundred dollar bills for a tip (“since you arrived almost an hour before the estimated time”, he said), and we went home.  

It was quiet in the cab on the way back. Unnervingly quiet. Tucker wasn’t cracking jokes, we kept the radio off, and we did our best not to stare at the abandoned cop car by the side of the road as we passed on by.

No one’s ever questioned us about the missing cop, even when we told Ezra what happened he seemed unbothered. He was more pissed about the cage being broken, saying his boss was going to be ticked to learn that this new cage didn’t hold up to snuff. We got paid, I went home, and I did my best to wipe the night’s events from my mind.

I hoped it would never come back to bite me either. But of course, I was wrong.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping and came home to Tucker twiddling his thumbs and a woman wearing a flannel shirt with the sleeves pushed up, revealing a nasty scar on her forearm that looked like a bite mark.

“You’re Killion?” She asked. Still too flabbergasted about there being a stranger in my living room, I just nodded. “Good. Tucker here told me how well you handled yourself with the last delivery.”  

She placed a check on my coffee table.

“I’m Beth, Ezra’s boss. I’m here offering you full time work. I promise, they won’t all be nearly as rough as that first one.”

… Like I said, I was out of a job.

[inkyquince]

Okay so this isn't paid promotion at all, I'm just very happy. I know that baldurs gate 3 is impossible to run on older laptops and computers and the same with mine. But a few days ago, I researched how to help and GeForce Now popped up. It basically outsources the hardware to a rig that has the specifications, and you stream your game from there. It's still your game, you link it to your steam/Unisoft/epic games account so your hours ans achievements in game are logged. Legit went from impossible lag to playing on ultra high settings.

The drawback is that it is a monthly payment thing, so there's three tiers, for free, priority and uhhh... It's called... Legacy? No fuckin idea.

But I'm paying for priority rn and it's £8 a month, so I can have 6 hour streaming session (in one sitting. They'll let you know when you've reached the end of a singular stream and then you stop playing for a bit and then continue after a moment). It's also super good quality. Honestly, go for it if you're struggling with the specs, they have legitimately most games on there, esp new releases AND OBVIOUSLY only do it if you got the cash for it. I'm just super happy with it.

[chaotichyperfixations]

Someone wanted to know why I fw Peddito and Doise so bad so I typed out all of this and now you have to deal with it too

(I JUST NOW REALIZED THIS CAN BE TAKE WRONGLY. I AM ACE (SEX REPULSED) AND WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY FUCK FICTIONAL CHARACTERS . I AM WELL AWARE THAT THE CREATOR OF THESE CHARACTERS IS A MINOR. SO SO SORRY)

You see here 2 funny cartoon guys. Neither are conventionally hot.. but thats when MY type comes in

Which is that I fw fat fellas and sillies. Immediately meaning that I would fw Peddito, for he is fat.

Doise on the other hand is a lanky blue guy who may or may not be a clone, and something about that is intriguing, it pulls me in.

Another thing, Peddito seems to be a horror of sorts-a ghost, spirit, yada yada..

Thats fuckin awesome. Fat spirit with a good sense of fashion? (I am a fan of eyesore) Hell yeah!!

Doise.. doise is a recolor. Hes just the guy that replaced noise righT? WRONG! Peddito and doise started out as joke ocs, with their whole shtixks beinf that they are only recolors.

But that changed in BYOC for Doom, where Doise starred as his own character. This is because the fandom thought he was hilarious, and he even encouraged the creation of other gremlin ocs like the Foise, whom I am neutral on.

Anyway, his whole thing was that all of his weapons had drawbacks, the most dangerous of all...

Being HIM. A picture of their original photo, but when you use it- Pedditos face is scratched out. And he spawns, intsakilling anyone he makes contact with. Thats fuckin SICK??!!!!!

Anyway, Doise in the noise update replaces noise when you play as Noise! And in the end, Peddito swoops in and kills him. When you re-enter, he's just straight up dead. I found that to be hilarious! Wow! This guys the one who dies!

And to cement that further- to get his outfit, tou have to DANCE ON HIS CORPSE DURING THE FINAL BOSS RUSH.

Lets see, misc stuff... I suppose I find them silly! With their vague appearances, its easy to self project and theorize and make my own loe for them- after all, why IS peddito like that? I think someone said it was because Doise killed him, and well- I went with that.

Long story short, why do I love Doise and Peddito so much? Because their silly and like partially filled canvases that I get to utilize! I also of course, already liked Peppino, and Peddito is a recolor of Peppino.

[weirdmaggedon-2-0]

I thought the Keronians[?] Were unironically from Flipnote Hatena. It's an anime, then? What do you like about it, is it fun? -Aquaprase

Omg! The Keronians are from Keroro Gunso/Sgt. Frog, it was a very long-running (and extremely popular!) manga and anime series!! <3 And it's one of the most important pieces of media to me in the entire world, I've loved it since...middle school, I think? And I've just never stopped loving it!! It's very fun! Extremely goofy, which I love, and I genuinely adore most of the characters! Of course, it has its drawbacks too, jhgfdfghj, especially being an older anime... Like, is it Good as in Well-Put Together? That's...debatable. But is it Good as in Fun To Watch? Is it Good as in I Like It? HELL FUCKIN YEAH IT IS

[capricorndevil15]

🍂☕ Scarlet Hollow ask game ☕🍂

I really wanted to do this ask game, so I've done it! Scarlet Hollow is one of my favorite games right now (second only to Deltarune). And I just wanted to have some fun, so here we go! Original was made by @juleshollow (thank you!!).

TRAITS:

Your "canon" trait combination? I have a couple different runs, and I haven't decided yet which is my "canon" playthrough, if there ever will be one. Regardless, I'm Powerful Build/Hot and Powerful Build/Keen Eye! (Will shorten Powerful Build to PB from now on. 🥜🧈)

What third trait would you add for hardcore mode? Tbh I haven't messed with hardcore mode yet. It's not too appealing for me (I am just not the type of gamer this mode is made for) because I feel like the consequences don't match the "crime". Conversely, I'm one of those dirty hackers who goes into the game files and changes the rules so that I can play with all 7 traits unlocked with no drawbacks. I've done this for a couple of playthroughs, but there's no combination that I super-like yet (though I will admit Mystic is a nice add-on to any existing combo). Once the game is all finished, I want to do a playthrough where I have all 7 traits and save the town. Not the hero Scarlet Hollow wants, but the hero we need. B) I will fix everything, goddamn.

What trait are you least drawn to? Probably Talk to Animals (TTA)? There are just other traits that I like more. If this game had more snakes in it, though, I'd certainly feel a different way. 🐍💕 Also, I was wary of Hot before I tried it, and still have some gripes with certain writing choices, but it's become one of my go-to traits.

Coolest trait? Fuckin PB, dude!! The one thing you always wish you could do in a horror movie, right? Be strong enough to punch the monsters in the face, beat the killers up, and it actually works! You really are strong enough, you really can protect! Maybe this says something about my psyche, or maybe I am just small and frail in real life, but dude I love to be the strong friend in this game. Also, I'm often drawn to the "regular" characters in horror/fantasy settings. Like, how does the guy without supernatural powers hold their own? What are they doing here? That's impressive and compelling.

ROMANCE:

Who are you romancing? Reese. Once he starts talking about horror movies, it becomes impossible to not kiss him.

What romance are you least interested in? I dunno? I'm probably not gonna do a Stella playthrough because I'm gettin Stabby back together if it kills me (if it kills me!). I like all the characters and think their romantic lives are interesting (I also really like Kaneeka/Reese. They are so nigthmare before christmas.)

Who would you romance if every single character was eligible? Probably Reese again LMFAO. On the real, maybe Winnie? Or Janey?

MISCELLANEOUS:

What character would hurt you the most if something bad happened to them? Tabitha. :(

Would you stay in Scarlet Hollow when the week is over? So, my MC is basically a fancharacter w/ his own personality distinct from mine. That's probably assumed, but I wanted to clarify for this question. I think w/ how things are currently going, he'll either choose to stay in The Holler after the week is through, or make some arrangement where he frequently visits. Him and Tabby are very close, so they will keep contact somehow. (And if you're thinking "lol, Tabby will probably be dead by the end of the game" well, my phrasing still stands, because he will visit Tabitha's grave every month with two cans of cream soda for them to share!! So who is laughing now!!!)

Who would you vote for dog mayor? Scraps 4 sure.

[cthulhuswaifu]

dudes i started watching trigun stampede and having seen like half of the og trigun I have many thoughts!!!

unfortunately i am Bad at articulating my thoughts so I will try to list a couple:

The animation feels like what the og show was supposed to feel, yknow??? like the crusty 90s animation was a huge reason I decided to tap out halfway through bc it feels like they wanted a lot of movement but due to budget or just technological limits they weren't able to and it just looked. not good sometimes. I'm not trying to bash the animation and I'm also not an animator so i have no real idea of what the original production was like or what limits they may or may not have had. However! Putting studio orange on the job was a fuckin stroke of genius bc they know their 3d. and what with the frenetic energy the show should have had, the freedom that 3d animation allows for camera movement and whatnot is what the story deserved. Vash's bugs-bunny style character movements look so much more convincing and energetic (listen i love the of ep 1 crab walk too it was delightfully animated but i think the 3d lets them fully encapsulate that scrambling, frantic energy he carries in action scenes). once again i am not an animator and i have not outlined this at all and I'm absolutely not trying to be some credited critic i am just a Guy.

Subpoint!! the depiction of violence/death/destruction works way better. Once again I'm not going to go after the animators for not having the time/budget/whatever to give the violence and death in the story the weight they should have had. However, it is way more convincing and striking and works better with the tone etc etc i put this in after writing the next two points and my root-beer-fueled sugar high is starting to fade rip

I do miss milly, shes a delight, but i think replacing her character with a more jaded and serious one was the right move for this remake. already the tone is diving into the darker themes of the story and having someone like roberto be the voice of reason between him and Meryl matches the tone of the show better than having the more lighthearted dynamic milly and Meryl had in the original. The original took f o r e v e r to touch on the darker themes of vash's backstory and the overall tone was absolutely more on the quirky, comedic side. This worked well for the dynamic-duo-insurance-girls thing but stampede changing both milly's character AND their careers works way better for what the show is going for. like. if meryl and Roberto were still insurance agents trying to keep a handle on vash, that comedic value would have been totally undermined and had to have been scrapped after episode 3. The tonal dissonace would have been too strong and would have totally killed the mood. Milly is still my girl tho i love her with all my being

I do prefer the slower worldbuilding of the original. I understand with the focus on vash's relationship with his brother instead of the story the original focused on means we need more context for his character and the world the characters live in. But i liked vash being a mystery to both the characters and the watchers! it felt cool to see this goofball of a dude just. let down the facade and make us want to wonder who this guy really is, yknow? but again! as i have said many times! stampede is focused on the darkness in vash's story and the world of trigun so it makes total sense that they introduce vash as a tragic character first! and i love it! i love me a good dark story and instead of the "silly dude with a dark backstory who changes tone at the drop of a hat" character the "guy who has seen some shit and still tries to do good and be kind and funny in spite of it" character just works better there.

Anyway as previously stated i am kind of flagging so ill stop there and I'm sure ill have more thoughts later because I just cant be normal about these things

I think both versions have their merits and drawbacks and I'm not trying to say one is objectively better than the other (even if I do prefer stampede bc I'm a hoe for good animation and dark storytelling) so please do not kill me

i wrote this mess instead of studying for midterms pray 4 me

[haldenlith]

More random thoughts, this time brought on by me working more on the Baldur's Gate timeskip campaign nonsense.

There's a lot of worldbuilding I'm doing, since it's set in Industrial Revolution era Faerun and, well, Baldur's Gate specifically, and Astarion is centered as the main NPC players would get their main quest and such from, meaning he needs a decent bit of worldbuilding, too. In that, part of me went "Hmm, am I making him too scheming and smart?"

And the conclusion I came to: No, I'm not. I like to headcanon that Astarion aged like... 700 (approx) would, at that point, have to have some fuckin wrinkles in that smooth ass brain of his.

Not to mention honestly, I see Spawnstarion being infinitely smarter and more dangerous than Ascendstarion.

Sure, Ascended he has raw power and a leg up physically (huzzah no more vampire drawbacks), but with going full evil, I imagine he's... honestly not much different than a vampire El Muskrat. I know, I just ruined a lot of fantasies by saying that. But seriously, he's just an abusive actual dumbass with way too much power, probably a sensitive ego, and will most likely want to be surrounded by yes-men. I mean, hell, this is an idiot cartoon villain that thinks he's so untouchable he can drink the liquid magma that is Karlach's blood.

Spawn Astarion? Seems to learn and grow, and has enough sense to listen to outside counsel, including when he doesn't necessarily agree with said advice. Hell, he's learned first hand that maybe other people are worth listening to, at least sometimes, because he's standing there a free and very alive vampire spawn, which he didn't think was possible prior to meeting Tav. And I like to imagine he keeps the capacity to learn and grow. Not being drunk on power (though probably a little drunk on freedom), and still being very killable would force him to have to learn to be shrewd, cautious, and strategic about everything.

So, yeah, I think I'm okay with my brain going "make that man a slippery businessman with more going on than meets the eye and totally working the turn-of-the-century system to his benefit." (Example: in this world I'm writing, he uses his newfound wealth via a different accidentally lucrative partnership to fund the building of a Temple of Sune in Baldur's Gate -- not because he gives a fuck about Sune, but because it's good PR for his image as a "totally just a slightly eccentric and rich high elf noble" and his perfume business...)

[demoralizedreprobate]

Heya! I hope your day is going amazing so far. What app or apps do you use to edit your memes? Thanks for answering in advance!

Outing myself as broke today. Although i know it'd be way easier and I totally prefer Adobe products (photoshop, and premiere), I have no fuckin money so I exclusively use free products. For photo editing, I still use the shitty online program I've been using for 10+ years (pixlr.com) and Gimp. Big drawback of the online program is even though it's slightly more user friendly and streamlined, they added a download limit and it's generally just a pain to worm your way around that. But hey, it beats dropping money I don't have on actually good software. Video wise, I use Capcut right now because it's failed me the least thus far. That being said I do everything on desktop so I can't really say how any of the software I use works on other devices but if you're looking for something free, I've tried a lot and these are my favorites.

on another note, I can't really claim to have tried it all and I'm always down to learn a new program, so if anybody's got any better affordable suggestions I am all ears.