#just five minutes and i will gross these kids out so bad they will panic when they’ve only eaten two meals a few snacks that one day
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lilgynt · 4 months ago
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eating disorders making ur stomach hurt when you’ve finally eaten or drunk something after a hot minute is so fucking evil it’s not funny. the bowel issues too
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cupidlennie · 1 month ago
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↝𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 ᝰ.ᐟ
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summary: Working afternoon shifts at your part-time job as a cashier may be excruciating, yet a certain blue haired boy manages to soothe the boredom through his antics.
↘ Isagi Yoichi x Reader fluff ⋆˚✿˖°
word count: I forgot to count
a/n: first fic and this is so nerve wrecking aaaa!! lmk if you see any spelling errors or grammatical errors mwah
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𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟖/𝟕/𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟖
Afternoon shifts are boring. It’s not busy enough for your work friends to be clocked in, resulting in just you sitting at the counter, waiting for customers to walk into your establishment. Most of the time it’s just you and the soft humming of the fridge, filling the convenience store with a certain comfortable ambience. You glance at the analog clock hanging on the side of the wall, reading the time.
It reads 16:56- exactly the time that the nearby football practice would end, bringing in a wave of hungry teenage boys yearning for a refreshing soda or even a small snack to energise them. Concluding that you still have around five minutes before someone strolls in, you decide to finish reading the boring gossip article about the newest celebrity drama. A while passes and the next time you glance at the time, six minutes have passed. Sighing, you put the magazine you had graciously borrowed from the stand back into its destined place, awaiting for the first consumer to arrive.
Just then, the automatic doors slide open and in wake a group of sweaty teenage boys- gross. They all seem to be lost in their own conversation, striding straight towards the food aisle. It doesn’t take long for you to be met with their faces again, each lining up to pay for their product. Though, you can’t help but become perhaps a bit anxious when you hear a few stray giggles and points towards you. Focusing your eyes on the group, you find them nudging a blue haired adolescent who’s cheeks seems to be heavily flushed.
Deciding that it was just a stupid prank or joke, you huff under your breath before continuing to scan their items. Each of them moves down the row until only one is left- the flustered looking blue haired one.
“That’ll be 891¥, sir”, your voice seems to rip him out of some weird daydreaming session because you could see the way his pupils seem to grow just a little bit smaller, eyes finding their way to yours.
“I-yeah. 891¥”, he stammers a little bit before fishing out the needed amount of money out of his pocket. “Don’t worry, you can keep the change”, the teen grins at you with those gigantic navy blue eyes, unaware of his mistake.
“You’re 200¥ short”, even thought your voice is monotonous and perhaps even a little offended, you can’t help but inwardly chuckle at his misfortune. Your counterpart isn’t as amused though, panic immediately showing itself on his face.
“I’m short? One moment please”, his now cowering voice seems to be much quieter than before as he fishes out a few coins and pushes them towards you. After thorough checking, you calculate that this time he doesn’t owe you money.
All of the kids your age scurry out the door just as fast as they entered, cackling at the victims misfortune and bad charm. Their shoes’ squeaking and voices get quieter the longer time passes. Though, on the money tray lies a small piece of paper you had overseen. Opening it, you read the contents of the text written on it.
“You look really pretty in your uniform. Hope you don’t mind if I show up more often”
-Isagi Yoichi (o゜▽゜)o☆
Cracking a smile, you fold it back into its original form and hide it in the pockets of your pants. Maybe Thursday afternoon shifts weren’t the worst.
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theyanderespecialist · 10 months ago
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Fearful Bunny (SCENARIO) Yandere William Afton X Survivor Reader (Five Nights At Freddy's)
[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am here with a new chapter! This chapter is a request from Tumblr. With a reader having Leporiphobia which is the phobia of rabbits. So I got the idea that Reader was supposed to be the 6th missing child. But instead, she got away. She had severe PTSD and repressed most of her memories. But it came with a deep-seated phobia of rabbits. Cause William Afton had worn his Spring Bonnie suit. 
(Disclaimer 1: READER IS AN ADULT IN THIS AT THE AGE OF 19
Disclaimer 2: William Afton is YANDERE ONLY WHEN HE MEETS YOU AGAIN WHEN YOU APPLY FOR A JOB!
Disclaimer 3: William Afton is not a good person, but he is NOT Yandere in canon. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all. Simping for Fictional characters, fictional serial killers, and fictional yanderes is fine. Just do not simp for REAL LIFE ONES, and do NOT be gross or illegal! Yanderes and people like William Afton ARE NOT Okay to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!) 
(No One's POV) 
(Name) had a deep phobia of rabbits. A terrible Phobia of them. All she could remember was that horrid rabbit face as she screamed. Since then she had the biggest fear of them. She has been down on her luck. She needs a job. So she is looking at the want ads. When she comes across an ad for a security guard job. The pay was shit, and the hours were almost as bad. 
She is desperate so she calls the phone number. 
"Hello, William Afton." The voice says. 
"Hi, I am calling about the security guard job." She tells him. 
"Very good, come by the Pizzeria." He says and hangs up. 
This is either a way to get her out there so he can kill her. Or he needs a security guard, bad. (Name) decided to take the risk, grabbing her mace just in case. She then drove to the pizzeria. It for sure had seen better days. Real better days. She shakes her head and gets out of her car. She sees a man waiting for her. He is lanky and has his hair done nicely. 
"Mr. Afton?" (Name) asks him. 
"Ah, you must be the girl who called me, please come to my office." He says after staring at (Nanme) for a minute. 
The two of them walk in and (Name) is having a case of Deja Vu but she shakes it off. They make it to his office and he has her sit down. 
"So, I am in a tight pinch, I need a security guard. So I will most likely hire you, just need to do the paperwork, so I can pay you at the end of the week." He tells her. 
She nods her head. 
"Name?" He asks. 
"(Name) (Last Name)." She tells him and he almost drops her pin. He looks up and stares at her. 
That was a name from his past. The one kid he could not kill. She is all grown up and she is so stunning, it was a real good thing he did not kill her. Because he now wants her and he is not going to lose her. 
"Coffee?" He asks and goes to make her some. 
"Sure." She says and he slips something into her drink. Giving it to her. She drinks it out of nerves and they continue. 
"I will be right back," He tells her. "Do not run little bunny~" 
She tensed at that and he went getting into his Spring Bonnie suit. Then he cut the power. Well, most of it. He then went in. She was in the hall and when she saw him, she froze and looked like she was about to have a panic attack. Her body just froze up. So it was true, she did have a fear of rabbits. I chuckle and walk to her. She is still frozen. 
"Run little bunny, or the big bad rabbit will get you~," I tell her and she turns on her heel and runs. 
He was hot on her heels and he laughed at the chase. I did not take that long to catch her. The drug in her system kicking in. She went limp in his arms, either from the drug or fear it did not matter. She was his now. His fearful little bunny. 
[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter done, I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 
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lovelybarnes · 4 years ago
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reckless- b. barnes
pairings: bucky barnes x reader, platonic!sam wilson, platonic!natasha romanoff, platonic!steve rogers
warnings: mentions of injuries, descriptions of fighting, angry bucky, a horrible ending, i kind of really hate this
about: “the things i feel for her are unlike anything i’ve ever felt before.” for a sleepover!
i actually wrote another one with the same quote but i didn’t think it fit so i changed it (that one will be posted tomorrow or the day after so i can edit it)
you’re annoyingly reckless to a point where it gets dangerous.
he’s told you this a thousand times before but you don’t listen- aren’t listening at the moment.
he knows it’s ironic that he’s being reckless by not paying attention to what’s going on, too concentrated on you- even if you’ve told him countless times that you literally can’t die (to which he responds with a “you never know!” because, really do you?)- but he has a metal arm and sam, who’s been hovering around him like a vulture after noticing his lack of concentration.
before he can react to it, a slimy arm is promptly cut off by you, the blade you threw now back in your hands and stained green with the things’ blood. you scowl at it and shoot him a dirty look, “pay fucking attention!” you demand, shaking the weapon haphazardly to get the goo off. he can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth but rolls his eyes and obeys, knocking an ugly alien down and crushing its chest with his boot.
he can still hear your cocky remarks and giggles- yes, giggles, you giggle when you fight life threatening menaces- paired with the gross sounds of your knife impaling the aliens they’re fighting. it’s the only thing keeping him from practically babysitting you, a reassurance that you’re there, careless and impetuous, but alive and close.
suddenly, he can’t hear you, and he turns to what he quite possibly believes to be the most disgusting thing he’s seen in his life (and it’s been a long one, so far). you’re blue, covered in a slimy substance, and your face is so red, it’s beginning to look nearly purple with the cyan sheen over it. you screech abruptly, wiping at your face angrily and jumping at the thing that probably did that to you. he nearly feels pity for it. nearly, because, in your rage, you hadn’t even noticed the large gash along your shoulder. before he can go to you before you kill yourself, his metal arm feels like it’s being sucked, taking him with it, and he grunts. “what the fuck-” he manages, unsure of what he’s looking at, but trying to cut through the sticky arm attached to his own. you’re there in five seconds flat, still blue and still angry, which he notices makes the slicing through the appendage easier.
you seem to decide to stay with him after that, and he’s not sure if he’s offended because you don’t think he can take care of himself- which is ridiculous, since this only happened because he was taking care of you- or touched.
“god, i wish i had wanda’s powers. chaos magick works a lot faster than causing chaos,” you complain, trying to wipe away the blue sludge at the same time and wincing when it tugs at your injury. he is reminded of the shoulder wound he nearly got his arm ripped off for trying to warn you, and he stops your hand. “you’re bleeding, you should probably be a little more careful with this.” he motions to your arm, avoiding touching it.
you frown at him, “it’s fine, it’s just a little cut.” (it’s most certainly not a “little cut.”)
“y/n-”
you extend the hurt arm over him and flick your hands when you see an alien about to rip bucky’s head off, a grimace passing your face that he sees but you try to cover up anyways. “see? it hurts you, you need-”
“i just saved your life, would a hurt person be able to do that?” you cut him off, and he stares at you. noticing a green thing coming up behind you, he grabs your waist and moves you out of the way, shooting it with his gun and watching as it drops to the ground. “ow!” you protest, “you hurt my-” seeming to realize you’re about to prove him right, you shut up and roll your eyes. “you’re welcome,” bucky huffs, wiping away some of the blue stuff from your cheek.
your cheeks warm against his touch without your permission, and you turn away. bucky smirks at your reaction.
“shut up,” you grumble, extending your fingers and aiming at a group of the aliens ganging up on natasha. they freeze for the few seconds they’re under your control, and nat manages to take out two in the moment. the three left break out of the trance, turn to each other, and begin to fight. natasha makes eye contact with you in a form of thanks and starts to take the rest out. you hear a gun go off behind you and turn to see one of the things that sprayed you on the floor. bucky saved you again, great, it’s not like he’ll rub it in your face forever.
“you need to pay attention, what if i’m not here?” bucky scolds. “then never leave,” you flirt casually in response. with a few twirls of your finger, most of the aliens stop paying attention to your team and begin attacking their own teammates.
you don’t notice when one of the few unaffected beings picks up a discarded gun and shoots at you twice. bucky moves you away from a head shot, but one lands opposite to the bleeding slash on your shoulder, and the other hits your thigh.
“goddamnit, y/n, pay attention!” bucky growls, holding up your full weight when your adrenaline begins to run out and everything becomes blurry. “‘m fine,” you try to reassure, attempting to stand back on your wobbly legs. bucky doesn’t let you, shooting at as many aliens as he can with one gun. he turns to look at your state after he shoots most of them, allowing the others to take care of it while he tries to take care of you. his metal hand is touching the small device in his ear, telling the others the situation while his other arm holds you up. you might be delirious now, and your eyelids are becoming increasingly difficult to keep up. “hm, i’m not going to die, b’cky.” you tell him, noticing the increasing panic in his voice as he talks to steve. “stop saying that, how would you know if you haven’t died yet?”
his question is confusing for your foggy brain, so you decide to skip it, unknowingly making his worries worse. the blood running down your back isn’t stopping, and bucky stops for a second to lift you up completely, tucking his hand underneath your knees to carry you. at the tug at your thigh, you bite back a scream. bucky pretends not to notice; his hands are covered in a warm red. he’s trying his best to ignore it.
“don’t die,” bucky whispers again and again, making you frown, “how many times do i ‘ave to tell you i can’t die?”
“i’ll believe it when you don’t,” bucky mutters, and the blue sky turns to gray when he’s inside the quinjet. he sets you down on the medbay cot, looking lost as he calls out friday’s name. “yes, mister barnes?”
“y/n- uh-”
“do a scan on me and… and treat accordingly,” you interrupt. “scanning now,” friday obeys, and you turn to bucky. “by the time you figured it out i would have bled out.”
“that’s not funny, y/n,” bucky says seriously. you squeeze your eyes shut for a second, “calm down, i’ll be fine.” friday has enclosed you in some clear glass, red grids letting you know of your condition. “ooh, that’s bad,” you mumble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend. “what?” said boyfriend asks, and you wave him off as best you can- which means a pathetic bounce of your arm- and tell him to let friday do her thing. “we are not done here,” bucky instructs, but sits next to you and holds your hand. you can see his glossed eyes now, you wonder how you didn’t see them before.
“shouldn’t you be fighting?” you ask, a wave of exhaustion crashing over you. rest, your body begs. you’ll comply later. “they’re almost done, the chaos thing you did makes their job a lot easier.”
“‘s what i do,” you say breathily before falling asleep.
-
you’re still in the quinjet the next time you open your eyes, which lets you know it’s only been a few hours and you’re feeling better already. goddess healing, you think, looking around to see bucky’s hand still around yours. he looks worried, the hard lines usually softened by the sound of your voice as hard as you’ve ever seen them. you squeeze his fingers gently. “bucky,” you coo, “i’m not dying anymore.”
bucky turns to you immediately, squinting, “that’s not funny.” it’s like deja vu, but you’re not sure from where.
a vein on bucky’s neck throbs, and you’re aware that you’re pushing it, so you stop for a second, “i was just kidding, i-”
“no!-” bucky’s voice is near yelling, so he shuts his eyes for a moment, continuing in a lower voice, “you almost died, do you know how terrifying that is? you nearly bled out in my arms.” sam, nat and steve, who were waiting for you to wake up next to bucky, pause when he raises his voice. “bucky-” you start, softer now, trying to sit up. bucky stands, “listen to me!”
steve stands, beginning to put a hand on bucky’s shoulder, “buck-” he’s silenced with a cold look from bucky. sam gets to his feet too, telling steve and nat to give you both a minute. they do, after nat kisses your cheek like she always does when you get hurt. you’re sitting on the edge of the bed now, reaching for bucky, “bucky?”
“you don’t… you don’t know how much you scared me, y/n. you have to stop being so careless,” he says after a few seconds. you furrow your brows, “i’m not careless, i’m confident in my skills.”
“you are. you’re careless and reckless and hasty and i need you to not be,” he says harshly, you frown. “why? i’m fine and i’m always going to be-”
“you don’t- you don’t understand!-” bucky snaps. “then help me understand,” you implore. bucky closes his eyes tightly again, breathing in slowly. “the things... that i feel for you are unlike anything i have ever felt before, and i can’t- i can’t lose you, okay?”
“you’re not going to,” you assure, extending your arms towards him, noting the tiny ache in response. he walks over to you, letting you grab his jaw when he’s close, you run your fingers over his cheeks gently. “i’ll be more careful,” you promise. bucky nods, tucking his face into the dip of your neck. you run your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, letting him squeeze your waist almost to reassure himself you’re actually there.
“hey,” you say quietly after a few moments, pressing tender kisses to bucky’s cheek, “sit down, i want to do something.” you stand, grabbing onto bucky’s arm when you stumble a little and promise him you’re fine and are taking it easy. you take out the first aid kit from one of the cabinets, setting it down next to bucky, opening it and taking out everything you need. you begin to clean his cuts, putting a pink hello kitty bandaid over one of his particularly bad ones. it’ll be gone within a day, but you can’t resist, and it makes him laugh.
you hum while you dab at a small scratch next to his eye, and he chuckles lowly, you look up at him, “what?”
“you’re still a little blue.”
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btssunnyboy · 3 years ago
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Unbelievable - Choi San
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He was always rude to you, embarrassing you in front of everyone. So why is he mad that someone better made you an offer?
Warning - Profanity, mention of caffeine, San is mean as fuck, Yandere towards the end, He makes a threat.
Word Count - 3,362 idk if they will be a part 2!
BTS , NCT , ATEEZ — request open.
__________________________________________
Good god, your blood was boiling the moment you saw his door crack open. You could feel your fingernails digging into your palms as you tried to remain calm. The last thing you needed to do was lose your temper and give this man another opportunity to ridicule in front of your co-workers. But judging by that horrendous look on his face you already have a gut feeling that all taht hard work to keep your anger in check is going to fly right through the window. Taking the deepest breath you could take and plastering on that fake smile, you gladly greeted the man that makes your life a living hell.
“These numbers are definitely not to my liking and I refused to be the laughing stock at the board meeting tomorrow.” He huffed heavily as he practically threw the binder down onto your desk. The heavy plastic slamming against the steel desk with a loud thud that echoed through the big hallway. The wind from the fall making papers that previously occupied your desk go flying in every single direction. You could feel your anger bubble up in your chest at the mere disrespect that this man was giving you, and it was driving you insane.
“With all do respect sir, it’s already twelve thirty, and I highly doubt I’ll be able to go over all of these documents by seven thirty in the morning.” You resisted their urge to grit your teeth as you wanted to appear somehow considerate of his complications. Truth be told you didn’t want to do another all nighter when you barely pulled through from the other night. “Besides, I looked over the revenue and margin growths three times before I sent them to your office.”
He scoffed loudly as he licked one of his fingers and then continued to rummage through the papers that were bonded together. His long finger skimmed over the lines multiple times and he flipped each page within a minute. Those piercing eyes stayed locked in on every single number that crossed the page. “Ah, right here it states that we made a profit revenue of fifty million last year, but then it states that this year we’ve only grossed sixty five million. And that’s definitely less than the fifty percent revenue growth that we expected.”
“So, sixty five is not as bad as you’re making it out to be, besides multiple people double checked.” You spoke tiredly as you started packing up your briefcase. Different papers getting stacked together and even crumpled because of the rapid pace that you were going. No matter what happens tonight you were leaving before the clock strikes one in the morning. As you were packing up your eyes met his furious ones and it felt like your world was crumbling down. “Mr. Choi, I’m being honest, your accounting department checked all of these numbers multiple times and I looked over them as much as I could.”
“I know for a fact that we had a fifty percent increase in revenue, now look over these damn numbers again. Or you’ll be kissing this cushy office job goodbye in the morning.” He harshly slammed the binder closed and stalked over to his office door. The audacity of that stupid man, how dare he even threaten you with this job. But as much as you wanted to spit in his face and tell him to shove it you really needed this job, this really well paying job.
You poked your cheek with your tongue out of agitation and roughly grabbed your purse. The bottle of caffeine pills made a clicking sound as you unscrewed the cap within a second. Without a drink of water you downed the pill and grabbed the ugly binder. This was going to be a long night, and these numbers were not going to supposedly fix themselves.
Your fingers tapped the keys on the keyboard rapidly as you searched each collaboration revenue. All of these numbers were lining up, no matter what you searched. Out of the six collaborations Choi enterprise only grossed sixty five million, but for some reason he just won’t listen. All you wanted to do at this point was slump forward and go to sleep, but with that anger that Mr.Choi has you’re scared he might kill you in your sleep. But as the long hours went on and on, you could feel yourself slipping. Your eyelids felt like a ton, and your head was suddenly too heavy for your neck to hold. Before you knew you were out like a light.
You’d shoot the person who was jabbing their finger into side if you could. Their bony finger feeling a knife stabbing your rib cage with immense pressure. “Please wake up, y/n, if he notices you’re asleep, who knows what he’ll do!” The jabbing didn’t cease one bit, in fact they just jabbed even harder.
“Okay! I’m up!” You groggily scoffed as your vision was trying to focus on the object in front of you. The figure was simply a mush of different colors all moving in different directions. The harsh lights in the office are in no way making the situation any better. You could make out their hand moving from left to right to try and grab your attention. “Hongjoong?”
“What are you, blind? Of course it’s me, but please I’m begging you get up and go freshen up in the bathroom.” He sighed sadly as he helped your wobbly stance straighten up. His soft hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. The soft scent of his cologne filling your nose as you clung to him. “Do you still carry extra clothes in your car?”
“Thankfully yes, but what time is it?” You question as you rubbed your eyes, trying to make all the colors of the world blend back together to form one coherent thing. “Oh god, is it past seven thirty, oh shit! He’s gonna kill me!”
“Calm down, it's only six thirty, but he always gets here at seven. So please go wipe that old makeup off and I’ll get your other clothes.” Hongjoong smiled slightly at you before his eyes shifted towards the oh so famous brown binder. “Did that dick make you go over more numbers the whole night?”
“God yes and it was terrible, but I looked over all six collaborations and I kid you not it all equals sixty five.” You could hear a pin drop on the silence that coated the room. It was beginning to feel suffocating and you physically felt your chest growing heavy with dread. “There were only six right, because that’s all the forms I received.”
“Maybe i'm just thinking of something else, because maybe just maybe -“
“Stop wasting time! Is there more than six?” You panicked as you shoved him away and pulled the rolling chair back to your side. Before your fingers could even reach the keys, Hongjoong’s were there in a second. They tapped rapidly and skimmed through all your emails at a neck breaking pace. “Oh my god I never refreshed the email.”
“We don’t have time to sit here and panic, we have three pages of numbers to go through.” Hongjoong tried to make the situation less tense by offering a helping hand, but he knew that if these numbers weren’t corrected all hell would break loose. And no one wanted to see what Choi San was like when he more than ticked off. He’d probably be past the point of furious if ever saw these unfinished numbers.
San’s eyes were narrowed as he eyed the unfamiliar man at your desk. Where the hell were you? He didn’t pay a shit ton of money for you to be everywhere and not in that chair looking pretty. But at this moment he couldn’t control himself as the words flew from his mouth. “What the hell is this?”
That look, that gorgeous look of fear that made his blood rush and his heart pound. Was etched across the unknown man's face and he was basking in the glory of it. San cocked his eyebrow slightly as he leaned forwards on his palms. “Did I suddenly grow two heads or some shit, no? Then answer my question, what the hell is this.”
“I’m so sorry Mr.Choi, but I didn’t notice that there were seven collaborations. I only had six in my email. And Mr.Kim was only helping me scrunch the numbers.”
“You mean to tell me that these numbers aren’t finished! And this meeting is in less than an hour?” His demeanor was calm but the sheer venom in his voice was enough to bring you to your knees. He poked his cheek with his tongue and gave a mean smile in your direction. “I mean it, l/n you’re on thin ice. But if those numbers aren’t corrected then you’re fired.”
“Yes sir.” You gulped as you watched him take heavy steps towards his office. You were in deep shit now. San rubbed his chin as he tried to remain calm and not fire you on the spot. Out of all the times you could have missed up, you decided now was the perfect time. Messing up these numbers would make other investors think that this company cannot handle the responsibility of simply matching numbers. This mistake could completely tank the company and put everyone here out of a job.
Fifty five minutes have passed and investors from other companies are already showing up at the doors. And here he was sitting at the head of the table empty handed, and it was all your fault. It was your fault for not refreshing that damn email, for not paying closer attention to the numbers, for simply not giving it your all. And now it’s going to be your fault that the entire company crumbles and falls straight into the depths below.
“So San, when is this meeting going to officially begin?” Questioned one of the many associates as he leaned back against the velvet chair. A smile bright on his face as if he didn’t care to wait a moment or two for it to begin. But, on the other hand, the leader of the meeting was so furious he could start foaming at the mouth. Because guess what crucial piece of information still wasn’t on his desk.
“We will begin momentarily if my secretary would get her head out of her ass and bring them those god damn numbers.” San spoke with a soft smile on his face. The look he gave the men was a completely different tone from the words he just spoke. Those words help fury and degradation but his smile was so bright it could light up a room or cause someone’s heart to flutter out of their chest. But at this moment all of those men knew at this moment San was anything, but happy.
The sound of the doorknob being yanked on caught everyone’s attention. Their heads jolted towards the cause of the noise as they watched you fiddled with the dozens of papers in her hand. Your smile was uneasy as you tried to reorganize them on your way towards the head of the table. They watched your clammy hands shake with fear as San ripped the paper from your hands. Judging by the way you quickly held your pointed and middle finger they could only guess what happened.
“Why the hell are you still standing here? Do I need to draw you a picture and make it clear that you’re done here?” San scolded as he shoved you a bit and forced you to walk to the door. Fumbling over your own two feet and almost hitting the floor head on at one point. But he didn’t care, because all he wanted to do right now was get this meeting over with. With a final shove and a quick slam of the glass door, he swiftly turned back around to be met with very difficult to decipher expressions.
“Well now that all distractions are gone, let’s get down to business.”
Your face was flushed and you could feel your hands start to shake. From the mere interaction with the stupid CEO. The vivid picture of his icy eyes and cold stare were burned into your brain, as his words pounded in your skull without mercy. The man practically belittled you, in a room full of successful CEOs who now probably think you’re a joke.
“Hey, don't worry yourself sick. It was an honest mistake.” Hongjoong consoled you as he eyed your shaken form. The tearful eyes and the constant bouncing of your leg was a dead giveaway of the way you felt at this moment. And he wanted nothing more than to just say everything will be okay, that everything is going to be just fine. But he can’t, because who knows what the jerk will do you do considering your almost costed him a deal.
“Do you think he’ll fire me?” The question hung in the air with such heaviness that it was almost hard to breathe. The thought of losing this job was sending you into a whirlwind of erratic emotions. If this job is gone, there goes the ability to afford your car, hell there goes the ability to afford the damn apartment you’re living in at this moment. You’ll lose eveything, if you’re cut off.
“He better not, and trust me if he ever does, I would be more than happy to have you on my team.” A new man smiled brightly in your direction as he made his way over to your desk. He wasn’t an unfamiliar face around the office as he and Mr.Choi have done business deals of many kinds in the past. “It would truly be an honor to have someone like you working at Jeon Marketing.”
A small smile took over your face as you eyed the man in front of you. Mr.Jeon was an extremely well known CEO in this business, and he’s not too much older than Mr.Choi. You’re genuinely surprised these men are allies in this type of business, if anything you thought they’d be enemies. “Thank you for such kind words, but trust me your opinion on me may change soon.”
“Nonsense, I’ve seen the way you handle situations at this company, especially time crunched ones. I can tell just by looking at your face you stayed up hours just to make sure his numbers were perfect.” Mr Jeon stated as he leaned forward on the desk and clapped his hand together. “And truth be told I wouldn’t mind having such a beautiful face be the face of my company.”
His compliment left you stumped as you eyed his face. The tone he held was lighthearted because he knew this stressful situation needed a little laughter, but you knew from the look on his face he was being serious. About both of his statements. Before you could form a response, he long fingers were reaching into his jacket pocket. “I promise, if you ever need anything. I’m just a call away.”
“His top rival and best friend just offered you a sweet ass deal, are you gonna take it?”
You truly didn’t know the answer to that. I mean on one hand you have your secretary job here, and it pays well. The boss may be a pain in the ass, but it’s the only thing keeping you afloat. And you know that these two companies are neck and neck right now for the top spot, so it’s hard to decipher just how much he’s willing to pay you. But would there be any harm in simply asking the man?
“I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t intrigue me, but at the same time I don’t wanna leave you all alone.” You mumbled as you tapped away at the computer keys. Just trying to find any small amount of information about his company. But only mere surface information popped up in the search box. “Would it be a bad thing if I did leave?”
“Sometimes trying something new is good thing, but it really all depends on how you feel. And I have a friend that works there and she told me she makes over 250k a year.” Hongjoong shrugged his shoulders as he stood up to leave. His soft eyes giving a sense of comfort as he started to walk away. “I promise whatever option you pick, you’ll be fine.”
A heavy huff of air passed through your lips as you tried to think of the right answer. If he was right you’d make just a little bit more working for him and he genuinely seems like a nicer boss in general. So the real question is what’s keeping you tied to this job? The only perk about this job is working with Hongjoong and he’s the main reason why you’ve stuck around this long. The men from before were now exiting San’s offer with bright smiles on their faces, and you could only conclude that those numbers truly were the right ones. But just as your eyes leave their smiles you’re met with someone who has the complete opposite expression.
He briskly walked towards you and hastily cleared his throat. The stone cold expression he was supporting made a shiver go down your spine. Without a second thought he grabbed your hand and hauled you off in the direction of his office, with his nails piercing the skin of your wrist. Within a second he shoved you into his office and slammed the door behind him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” His stern voice echoed in the office. Bouncing off the walls left and right and continuing to bounce inside your skull. The fingernails that were pressing into your skin felt like sharp needles protruding into you. You could have sworn you saw blood pass through his fingers. “Answer me!”
“I’m sorry! But I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” You panicked as you tried to yank your arm away from his hardened grasp. Those eyes of his start to terrify you the longer you stay in his touch. But he wasn’t letting you get away if anything the more you struggled against him the tighter his hold got.
“I saw that dumb fucker hand you his card, and for some unknown reason you took it. So what that’s it, you’re just gonna fucking leave after everything I’ve done for you?” He spat words at you left and right. Not bothering to back up any of his claims. He speaks as if he’s given you pure gold to walk but in reality all he’s given you is eggshells. You have to be careful around you, you’re never treated well, and he wants to sit up on his throne and act as if he’s treated you like royalty?
“If anything you’ve given me shit! You’re treating me like crap any chance you get, I made one mistake and your response to that is belittling me in front of other people!” You shouted back with just as much venom as he has done to you. With a final yank from your arm, you relaxed yourself from his grip. Tired of his antics you looked him dead in the eyes and spoke. “And so what if I take his offer, he’d be a better boss than you ever were!”
“I mean it, L/n, you take that deal and I’ll make your life a living hell.” He threatened as he got closer and closer. His minty breath fanned your face slightly as he harshly grabbed your chin. “Trust me, this is one bet you’ll regret taking if you leave.”
“I’ll take that damn bet any day.” You tried to push his chest back but he was stronger than you. What surprised you the most was the cackle-like laugh that passed through his lips. A wide smile taking over his face and that somehow made the situation more sinister.
“I warned you, Y/n.”
238 notes · View notes
1-800-sope · 3 years ago
Text
Tag, You’re It (M)
paring: Jungkook x reader
rating: M
Gener: Yandere 
Warnings : Kidnapping 
Summery: They always say it’s someone you know, someone that you are close to that turns out to be a psycho freak, you just weren't expecting it to be your hot innocent next door neighbor.
Inspired by Tag, You’re It by queen mel <3
BTS Masterlist
“Looking at me through your window
“Boy, you had your eye for a little”
“Hi Y/n.” Jungkook, your friendly neighbor shouted from across the yard as he spotted you. “Good afternoon Jungook, How are you?” You shouted back mirroring his smile. “I’m doing good just got done with some grocery shopping.” Jungkook responded displaying the plastic bags he was holding in his arms.
With that you let out a groan as you inserted your key in the lock. “That reminds me, I have to do some shopping of my own.” A chuckle escaped from jungkook.
“I’ll cut you up and make you dinner
You’ve reached the end, you are the winner.”
“Say if you don’t have food, I hope i’m not overstepping but why don’t you come over for dinner tonight.” Jungkook asked innocently, biting his lip as he eyed you from the sided. You focused on opening your front door trying to ignore the pounding in your chest. “As much as I would enjoy that Mr. Jeon, I have some homework to get to tonight.” You said as you looked up at him. Your door was now unlocked but you didn’t want to go inside, not yet at least. You wanted to savor this moment with your overly extremely hot next door neighbor.
Jungkook nodded his head as he went to open his own front door. “Well I wish you all the luck on that homework, but just know my offer still stands.” To anyone that would have seem like an innocent invitation, to YOU it was an innocent invitation. but to Jungkook it was far from innocent. 
-
“Rolling down your tinted window
Driving next to me real slow, he said”
Jogging through the neighborhood was one of the things you did every morning five days out of the week. You would jog around the block two times, stop by Mrs. Kim’s daughters lemonade stand grab a drink and continue. It was all apart of the routine.
But having a suspicious black BMW slow down as it turned down the street you were making your way down was not apart of the rutie. 
You were an observant girl, always aware of your surrounds, you liked to be kept on your toes never getting too comfortable, some might call you paranoid. So when you turned your head and caught site of the slowed down car you picked up your pase. But so did the car.
“Howdy Neighbor.” A familiar voice called out as the car was now next to you. “oh my god Jungkook!” You jumped back face flush with a beating heart. God this boy will give you a heart attack one day.
Jungkook looked at you with innocent eyes. “Are you alright?” He asked as you stopped and placed both of your hands on your knees, taking in deep breaths. 
“Yes, you just scared the living daylights out of me that’s all.” You chuckled leaning back up whipping some sweat off of your forehead, when you make eye contact with him your face flushed.
gross and sweaty in front of the handsome neighbor way to go Y/n,
“Oh my bad I didn’t mean to.” He quickly spoke with a sincere look in his eyes. You laughed and shook your head. “It’s okay Jungkook, Just don’t drive so creepy next time.” 
“Let me take you for a joyride
I’ve got some candy for you inside.”
“Say, I just got back from the store and I have some popsicles it is a hot day, would you like any?” Jungkook asked with a sweet smile that almost made you say yes right away.
You watched as the young man reached in the back of his car behind the driver's seat, you took note on how the ink on his muscular arms looked extremely good
when he pulled forward a box of popsicle you looked away not wanted to get caught drooling over him. “Thank you Jungkook.”You smiled as you watched him open the box. Your mouth instantly watered.
“Come eat it inside.” Jungkook said. You watched in confusion as he leaned over and open the car door. “Oh I really shouldn’t” feeling self conscious you took a step back. 
“Nonsense, The popsicle will melt while it’s out there, and do you really wanna hold a sticky stick while you run.” He looked at you with a teasing smile. 
Giving up you rolled your eyes and got into the car. “that’s a good girl.” Jungkook said as you shut the door face now more flushed than before and chest pounding that you pray to the gods he can’t hear it.
‘What flavor do you want?” He asked dismissing the comment he just made. You on the other hand had the words still repeating in your head. Another puls feeling shot through you but this one was not in your chest.
“Is there Orange.” You mastered to ask as you let out an awkward cough hoping he just thinks your flustered state is from the morning run. “Let me take a look.” He mumbled digging through the box.
“If not cherry is fine, you know i’m okay with any flavor except grape. the grape ones-”  “taste like medicine” You and Jungkook said at the same time. You nodded. “You're in luck missy, I found an orange.” He playfully smirked holding up the orange flavored popsicle.
-
It’s been four weeks since your encounter with Mr. Hottie neighbor and you were thankful for that. Yes Jungkook was nice company but you won’t be able to go another minute with your heart going crazy like it was going to blast out of your chest.
It was currently 1:30 am and you were laying on your living room couch trying to finish up your thesis statement for one of your college courses, that when the third rumble of your stomach hit and you got fed up. 
grabbing your car keys and throwing a jacked over your tank top you made your way out the door and to your car. One of the perks of being a college kid is being broke, ordering takeout for three weeks straight really put a dent in your pocket.
starting your car up you drove to the nearest corner store that was open.
-
pulling into the parking lot you failed to notice how it was almost empty except for wo other cars.
stepping out you didn’t bother to lock your car door the goal of getting in and getting out was the on thing that filled your mind.
“Running through the parking lot
he chased me and he wouldn't stop”
Once you were done paying you quickly grabbed your bag and pushed open the door, the cold air greeting you in the procese sent a shiver down your spine. was it worth it to go out in your pajama shorts and a tank top, looking around you took in how dark it was. no it wasn’t.
quickly opening your car door you placed the bag next to you and the keys inside. taking a peaky through the rear view mirror. That’s when you saw it
There was a person in the backseat of your car but before you could let out a bloody scream they placed the a white cloth over your mouth. 
Now you were fully regretting going out tonight.
Not taking in a deep breath you reached your hand out to the cup holder next to you grabbing the paper spry you through your arm back and pressed down on it, the attacker cussed and moved their hand. 
not wasting a minute you got out the car and did what anyone in their right mind would do. You ran. you heard the car door slam shut and you knew they got out too the fast footsteps that started to follow you proved it. but you didn’t stop, you didn’t look back. 
“Grab my hand, pushed me down
took the words right out my mouth”
You felt the hands on you, the force pushed you to the ground as a hand went clasping around your mouth muffling your scram, a muscular arm wrapped around your waist bringing you back up.
no 
no 
no 
This was not happening, You were not done for. You couldn't wouldn't except this faith and that's why you did everything your self defense classes taught you. You slammed your foot on this psycho’s toes and he released you again with a cuss.
if you would have listened. you would have noticed that the voice sounded oddly familiar.
but before you can even get one step away something hard came in contact with the side of your head sending you straight to the gourd.
your blurry vision filled with large black boots and then you lost consciousness.
-
You slowly opened your eyes, gretted to a dim light and a room with four walls, no windows in sight. just a door. panic rushed through your body and you tried to move that’s when you noticed you were hanging.
A thick rope wrapped around your wrist was hanging you up from the ceiling nothing was supporting your feet.
“Enie meenie miny mo”
A voice was heard from behind you, it made your heart stop. 
“Get your lady by her toes”
You felt something brush against your ankle and you let out a piercing scream. The sinister sound turned into a child like giggle.
“If she screams, don’t let her go” it sung.
A choked sob escaped you as the tears started to run down your face. “Whyy why why why.” You whispered to weak to speak.
“Shhh shhh, it’s okay love.” The voice cooed as a hand was gently brushing down the side of your head.
The presence of your abductor finally showed itself,  they were now standing in front of you holding those familiar innocent doe like eyes.
“J-Jungkook?” 
“Howdy neighbor.” 
286 notes · View notes
iliumheightnights · 4 years ago
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Bird Set Free | Ben Florian x Male Reader
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Fandom: Descendants Pairing: Ben Florian x Male Reader Summary: A jealous Audrey comes after Ben’s boyfriend.
A/N: Another co write with my amazingly talented friend @inhumanshadows​. If you haven’t checked them out what are you waiting for!? …
Ben had caught your eye the moment you stepped out of the limbo from the isle.
You were one of the first vk's to arrive in Auradon.
At the time Ben was dating Audrey so you didn't think you had any chance.
That changed after the big turney game when he asked you privately if you wanted to go on a date with him.
That shocked you first off because he was a prince/future king and you were a villain kid.
Secondly you were a guy. You hadn't expected Ben to be into guys.
You said yes of course. Who wouldn't want to go on a date with Ben.
The date went great and you enjoyed it.
During the whole coronation debacle, you helped Mal and them stop Maleficent.
Once everyone was unfrozen, Ben pulled you into a kiss in front of everyone.
That was a surprise to everyone, but who was going to challenge the king and his boyfriend who just stopped maleficent? No one that's who.
While Adam was shocked he wasn't disappointed and Belle was really supportive of you two.
Ben's parents were your biggest supporters. "Love is love."
While the kingdom had accepted you two relatively easy, one person did not. Audrey.
You had a feeling Audrey wouldn’t like it. 
But you figured she wouldn’t be too mad for long.
At least that’s how it seemed. Especially when she left school for a little “wellness retreat.”
Then the mess with Uma happened. 
You knew she spelled Ben and that any actions he made weren’t consciously his own.
The entire cotillion was...intense.
You didn't let Uma use Ben any more than she had.
You quickly pulled Ben in for a kiss and pressed your lips to his.
There was a spark and energy there that you felt every time you kissed.
Pulling back, Ben smiled at you and you could tell it had worked. He wasn't spelled anymore.
Uma and Mal then got into a fight over her spell book.
After everything settled down the two of you enjoyed the rest of your night.
However there was still a part of you that was hurt seeing Ben with someone else even if it wasn't his doing.
Luckily, Ben quickly made sure that YOU were the one for him.
That led to him proposing to you with a promise ring a week later.
...
You said yes to that right away. No way were you letting that pass by you.
Of course, Audrey wasn't happy with that. But who cares, what could she do?
-You didn’t care. You were engaged and had much more pressing matters to attend to.
-Now the whole kingdom was just in your face about really anything and everything.
“when’s the wedding?!”
“How are you adjusting to life as the prince’s boyfriend??”
It was that constantly and it gets old quickly.
So you just focused on Ben and your friends. 
Evie insisted on designing yours and Ben’s wedding outfits. 
“I mean I won’t tell you no Evie.”
You had to remind everyone that it was only a promise ring and not an actual engagement ring. No one seemed to care.
Honestly with you two, it really was more of an engagement ring.
But that was for another day. Today was Jane's birthday.
Ben had some last minute work to finish so you went ahead of him.
"(M/N)! It's good to see you."
"Ben's on his way. He just had to finish something first. He's sorry for being late."
She waved you off. "No worries."
Then someone you hadn't expected showed up.
Audrey.
She was dressed differently and had maleficent staff.
That wasn't good.
Audrey laid her eyes on you and a wicked smile came over her face.
That REALLY wasn't good.
"Jane, go. Run!"
Jane nods and hightails it out of there.
Audrey starts to sing “Happy birthday” as waves of green smoke wash over the party area, all the guests falling into a cursed sleep.
You brace for an inevitable sleep... but it never comes.
Audrey stands before you, smile on her face.
“A sleeping curse is too good and too easy for you. I have other plans.”
She bangs the bottom of the staff on the ground and you’re surrounded by smoke.
Magic flows over you and when it clears... everything is bigger.
“Well aren’t you a pretty bird...” Audrey says before vanishing. 
You run to the edge of the lake and see that she turned you into a raven.
A raven. Of course she turned you into a raven, just like diaval.
Your first instinct is to panic. You're currently a bird when just five seconds ago you were human.
After calming down a bit you realize the next best thing to do is go after Ben.
Ben! If this is what Audrey did to you what would she have done to Ben!?
Without another thought you flap your new wings and try your best to fly.
It's not pretty at first but you figure it out and soon are flying to your future husband.
When you do reach Ben...it's not fun.
Audrey had changed him as well, but instead of a bird he was a beast. Just like his dad.
When you tried talking with him you hoped he would be like how his dad was as a beast...or at least as you had been told.
You figured you'd get to talk with him and figure out a way to stop Audrey.
Ben tried to eat you.
Apparently Audrey's curse made Ben an actual full beast and not just looking like one.
There was only one thing left to do...find help!
Finding help wasn't easy. Everyone was either asleep or turned to stone!
Fairy godmother? Stone. Belle and Adam? Asleep.
Luckily you found Mal and them, along with Uma, Gil and Harry.
Unluckily, they just thought you were a raven.
Harry kept shooing you and threatening to hit you with the hook.
Gil wanted to pet you. So that wasn’t too bad.
And the others either thought you were gross or just a dumb bird. 
Gil proves to have the braincell for the group when he suggested giving whatever made Dude the dog talk to you.
Mal did it to “make the conversation change”
"Finally! I've been trying to get your attention forever!"
They all go wide eyed when you're voice comes out of the bird.
 "Yes it's me. (M/N). Audrey turned me into a raven and I went to find Ben but she changed him into a beast! You gotta help me save Ben!"
 Of course, even though you were a bird, Ben is a king, your boyfriend and a beast right now. You were helping him first.
 "Oh and Gil...can you scratch my head again?"
What? It felt good.
 Then Jay, Harry, Gil and Carlos went with you to find your boyfriend.
You guys find beast ben and slowly try to get his attention.
He turns and stalks towards you all.
He looks as if he’s about to pounce when Jane pops out of the trees and sprays him with water.
Ben roars and stumbles back rubbing his face. He drops his hands and looks relatively normal.
“What did you hit him with, Jane?” Jay asks.
“Enchanted lake water. Breaks most enchantments. Figured it couldn't hurt.”
 You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding.
 "Oh thank gods. I was so worried babe."
 Ben froze in place as he saw you talking.
"(M/N)?"
You flew over and landed on his shoulder.
"Hey Ben. Audrey got to me first. Thanks for not eating me earlier."
 Ben would then pet you.
 "I'm glad I didn't. That would be awkward...now how do we change you back? Jane?"
 "I kind of used the last of the water."
You look Ben up and down and he smiles at you.
“Gotta say Ben, I like the fangs and beard. Could be cleaner but...”
“Oh really?” Ben asks.
That when Harry whistles. “Sorry to break up that tender moment... but we have an angry Audrey to pursue...”
"Right! We'll have to figure something out later. I promise! I'll make sure to get you back" Ben said.
You knew he would. Ben always did.
 Returning to Evie's cottage, Uma seemed to be leaving in a mood.
Doug who had been asleep was now awake.
"Wait? How is he awake?"
"True love’s kiss."
You looked at Ben who looked back at you.
 "Why didn't we think of that?!" you said.
Ben rubbed the back of his head with a nervous look.
"Sorry."
“it’s alright. Lots happening. We’ll try later. First we deal with Audrey!”
Cue Audrey sealing you all in the cottage. 
Then mal and Uma break you guys out with some awesome cooperative magic.
You: “Aww you guys are friends again!”
Mal: “I’ll pluck your feathers...”
“Alright! Geez...”
Then everything with Mal came out.
 It made your heart break. Ben,Your boyfriend, your future husband, made a decision with Mal to not bring over any more VK's.
You couldn't believe it. You didn't want to accept it.
"So...you didn't even want to talk to me about this?" You said to him.
"I'm a VK Ben! You're wanting to stop any one else from getting the chance that I did? That's so wrong!"
 Now you really wish you had gotten that kiss earlier...cause this love didn't feel true anymore.
 Uma, Harry and Gil left...and so did you.
"I need to think."
"(M/N) wait!"
Did you leave on Gil’s shoulder, slumped against him? Yes yes you did.
It was all very confusing and pretty shocking.
While you understood where they were coming from... it... it just hurt. 
You all were back at the cottage, checking up on Dizzy and the twins. 
You were glad they weren’t awake to hear about all that. They had enough on their plates.
“So what do we do now?” You ask, walking on a table, everyone seated around it. 
Uma: “Nothing. Let Mal and Ben figure it out... they don’t deserve our help after that stunt.”
"I can't just sit by Uma. I'm mad...but not let Audrey go kind of mad. If anything I want just a bit of revenge."
Uma smirked at that.
"Good to know there's still a VK in there."
You extended your wings and fake bowed.
Eventually you all began heading back to the isle before Mal stopped you begging you all to help her.
"They were turned to stone. (M/N),Ben was turned to stone."
It didn't matter how hurt you were, you still loved Ben.
Without hesitation you hopped off Gil's shoulder and began flying back.
Arriving back at the cottage you saw them, Evie, Dude,Carlos, Jay and Ben...all statues.
You landed on Ben's out stretched stone arm.
"Oh Ben...What do I do?"
You sat there perched on Ben's arm, looking at his frozen face.
You regretted that the last thing you two did was fight.
Hopefully this would be fixed soon and you can apologize.
As if your wishes were answered. Ben and the rest were unfrozen and the people began waking up.
"Ben! Oh gods you're back! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry about how I left."
"(M/N). No I'm sorry. I should have asked you. I'm sorry I didn't."
With that Ben lifted his arm with you on it up and kissed your head.
In an instant you felt yourself changing and growing and soon you were back to being human.
You smiled and pulled Ben into a tight up.
"Forget waiting. Ben, I have no idea what's going to happen but I know I want to be with you. Let's get married."
He didn't disagree and your promise ring was now that engagement ring.
After making sure everyone was alright after everything that transpired you, Ben and Mal got to talking and came to a unanimous decision.
You all agreed it was time to take the barrier down and stop making the children of villains pay for their parents misdeeds.
You worked with the other VKs to make the process as fair and efficient as possible.
Ben pulled you away for a minute to hug you. 
“I know we’re still working on the rest of the VKs but I was thinking we could meet with Evie to talk about wedding stuff?”
“of course... we have a lot to plan... together.”
Evie was excited when you told her.
Ben and you also enjoyed the planning, especially the cake.
Your wedding was going to be amazing.
768 notes · View notes
ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years ago
Text
The Queen of Underland: Izzy
CW: Panic attack, child of recovering adult whumpee, anger as trauma response, referenced noncon kissing and touching (nonsexual), childhood bullying, referenced past domestic and child abuse, some gendered and ableist insults (kid to kid and nothing too intense - just fair warning)
Izzy, at nine years old, has been free with her family for almost five years now, and her mother has been in prison on a life sentence for two. With attention, affection, and therapy, she has blossomed into a quiet kid who nearly always has her nose in a book.
When two classmates try to put her in the center of a storm, Izzy finds something inside herself that she has pushed down for so long she had nearly forgotten she ever had it.
Izzy finds her father’s anger.
Jax Gallagher belongs to @comfy-whumpee and is used with permission.
---
Izzy sits at her desk, perfectly still, reading a book while the teacher’s out of the room speaking with another teacher in low voices, just in the hallway. The sun shines in the windows that line the wall, lighting the pages of her book, and one of Izzy’s hands rubs repeatedly over the seam down the side of her uniform skirt, the only movement she makes beyond her eyes.
Around her, the others are whispering, passing notes and giggling (except for Noah, who has his own book open, and Jack, who is drawing his story about giant killer robots in a notebook, and Sarah, Jack’s twin sister who is trying to build a tower of pencils and paper), but Izzy barely notices them.
When the teacher comes back in, Izzy will not be whispering, or giggling, or doing anything that might bother her. When the teacher comes back, Izzy will be quiet, and good, and put her book back into her desk and look up with her hands in her lap. She’s the quietest kid in class, she heard the teacher say so.
At home, she’s not always quiet anymore, but at school she still holds a balance, protecting herself and keeping herself safe in the best and truest way she knows - by simply being exactly what the adults need her to be, and keeping all her real feelings and thoughts inside her head.
Still, while the teacher’s out of the room, she takes a few minutes to read while she has the chance. Her heart beats cold and heavy in her chest as she scans over the words on the page, biting down on her lower lip, worrying at a bit of chapped skin. Her left hand settles over the soft texture of pages nearly yellowed with time spent in the school library being held by hundreds of small hands. The fingers on her right hand feel over the seam of her skirt, right along the outside of her leg, again and again.
Fierce anxiety, and a little fear, swirl inside her for the characters that exist only in ink and her imagination.
Two Earthmen entered, but instead of advancing into the room, they placed themselves one on each side of the door, and bowed deeply. They were followed immediately by the last person whom anyone had expected or wished to see: the Lady of the Green Kirtle, the Queen of Underland. She stood dead still in the doorway, and they could see her eyes moving as she took in the whole situation—the three strangers, the silver chair destroyed, and the Prince free, with his sword in his hand.
“I think I like Karissa,” Henry Fitzgerald, who sits at her left, says to his best friend Kevin Magden - not to be confused with Kevin Michaelson, and didn’t the teacher sigh over that sometimes. He has to speak over and around Izzy’s head. 
“Like, like like her?” Kevin Magden asks, sounding half-horrified, half-fascinated. Izzy fights not to roll her eyes, and tries to focus back on her book, on the entrance of the Queen, on the Prince freed but faced with great danger.
The Queen of the Underland, the lady who held the Prince in the dark for ten whole years, that’s older than Izzy even is. Coming into the room to find the children and the Prince, and her having no control any longer. 
She turned very white; but Jill thought it was the sort of whiteness that comes over some people's faces not when they are frightened but when they are angry. For a moment the Witch fixed her eyes on the Prince, and there was murder in them. Then she seemed to change her mind.
“Run,” Izzy whispers, to the children, to Puddleglum the strange marsh creature, to the freed Prince. “Don’t talk to her, just run. Don’t listen to whatever she says, don’t.”
“What are you even saying, Izzy?” Kevin Magden says.
“She’s all in her book like always,” Henry Fitzgerald says, shrugging. He makes some sort of gesture - Izzy doesn’t look up to see it - and the two of them laugh. She doesn’t care about that. The story is far, far more important than they are anyway. “Anyway, Kev, I like-... yeah, I think I like like her. I’m gonna tell her at break.”
“Gross,” Kevin says, but he sounds fascinated. “What if she says she doesn’t like-like you back?”
Henry shrugs again - Izzy can see the movement from the corner of her eye. “Dunno. Maybe kiss her.”
“Gross,” Kevin repeats, much more emphatically. 
Izzy tries to keep her mind on the page, but shifts uncomfortably in her chair. She closes her eyes briefly, thinking of the Queen of the Underland, standing in the doorway. She imagines her with very white skin and dark, long fingernails, wearing a long dress that brushes the earthen floor, making a soft swish-swish sound as she walks. In her mind, the Queen of the Underland has very bright blue eyes and lots of curly, dark brown hair that is threaded with silver down her back, wild and uncontrolled, like it can reach out and grab you and drag you into the dark with her.
She feels like the Queen is not a stranger to her, and not hard to picture at all. Try as she might, she can’t make the Queen in her imagination look like the description of the Queen in the book. She only ever looks one way - beautiful and wicked, deceptively soft, eyes brilliant and shining too bright when the Prince is in pain.
Will she hurt him, while the children have to stand and watch and can’t save him at all?
"Leave us," she said to the two Earthmen. "And let none disturb us till I call, on pain of death." The gnomes padded away obediently, and the Witch-queen shut and locked the door.
"How now, my lord Prince," she said. "Has your nightly fit not yet come upon you, or is it over so soon? Why stand you here unbound? Who are these aliens? And is it they who have destroyed the chair which was your only safety?"
Izzy can hear the Queen’s voice, musical lilt, simpering sweet and dangerous. Why are you leaving me? How dare you. Come back here, Jax, you can’t leave, you’re mine. 
Kevin and Henry are still talking, but Izzy doesn’t hear them any longer. She’s lost in the panic rising inside of her. Run, she thinks, in a scream, a shout in her mind. It isn’t that she doesn’t understand it’s just a book, but that she is still scared, frightened for the prince whose father had grown older while he was gone, whose family must have missed him so much. She is frightened for the children who do not understand the witch or how to fight her. She’s frightened even for Puddleglum, who only wants to help, to do the right thing. Don’t talk to her, don’t give her the chance, just run. She’ll make you hers again. She swallows - it feels like her heart beats itself right up into her throat, like she is swallowing around it - and keeps reading.
Prince Rilian shivered as she spoke to him. And no wonder: it is not easy to throw off in half an hour an enchantment which has made one a slave for ten years. Then, speaking with a great effort, he said:
“I’ll kiss her even if she doesn’t like me back, anyway.”
Izzy’s breath catches, and she blinks, feeling like she has been pulled out of a spell herself. She looks up, glancing sidelong at Henry, who isn’t looking at her at all, just talking to Kevin. “Hen-... Henry-... what did you say?”
“None of your business,” Henry replies, voice harsh and loud enough to get some of the others to look over at them, and Izzy’s shoulders creep up towards her chin, face burning red. She hates when everyone looks at her, hates it more than anything. Henry looks back at Kevin. “At break, I will. I’ll tell her, and I’ll kiss her, whether she wants to or not.”
Izzy looks back down, but the words on the page run together, she can’t see them any longer, they’re just squiggles, meaningless little lines. What I want just matters more, whispers a nightmare she can never quite feel woken up from. She tries, she really does, to focus again on the book but she sees secondly, she took out a musical instrument- 
Izzy slams the little paperback shut, sticks it back in her desk, and says in a thin voice, “You can’t do that if someone doesn’t want you to, it’s wrong.”
“It’s not a big deal, Izzy, geez.” Kevin on her other side speaks up now, and between them she feels like she’s being battered, tossed on a sea, shoved down, locked in the dark. Izzy stares down at her desk, then, letting her eyes lose focus on the wavy colors in the polished wood. Light brown, almost auburn, and darker brown, almost a chocolate color, very like the hair on Izzy’s own head, clipped short and spiky.
Very very like the wavy, thick curls that ran down her mother’s back, that smothered Izzy in the smell of her shampoo and perfume. 
“It is a big deal,” Izzy whispers. “It’s wrong, to make someone kiss you. It’s wrong. It-... it hurts them. It matters what they want, too.”
“Ugh. It's just a kiss. You’re bonkers, you know that?" Henry leans over, almost in her space, and Izzy sits back as far as she can until she presses her back hard into her chair, enough to hurt. “Absolutely mad.” 
“No, I’m not,” Izzy mumbles, but panic twists even worse inside her. Is she? Her mom is. Isn’t she? Don’t you have to be, to be evil? Dr. Marty says no, that those two things are totally separate and people are just bad at understanding that people can be really, really, really bad and still be sane - that bad people almost always are - and Dr. Marty knows everything about crazy and not-crazy, that’s his whole job, and she’s not like her mother anyway, she’s not. 
“Are so,” Henry taunts, falling easily into the familiar cadence of mockery, and Izzy’s face burns brighter and hotter as the room begins to fall quiet, other conversations falling away as the others realize there might be some entertainment now. Her breath comes faster, and she closes her hands into fists at her side, fighting to control the way the fear and a new rise of anger start to twist around inside her stomach, making it flip, making her feel sick. “You’re bonkers for sure, Izzy Gallagher.”
“I-I’m not. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not! It’s not right to kiss people who you don’t know if they want to or not! It’s not!”
The room feels suddenly too small, and too big - she can’t escape Henry’s bean-breath and she can’t run far enough to get to the door, she can’t run at all. Some small voice inside her demands she stay still, shut her mouth, never talk again. She should have just finished her book, seen how the Prince would escape the Queen of the Underland, seen if the children help him or just weigh him down, one more bit of stone tying him to Underland and maybe he wishes he could just leave them behind, if they bother him, if they’re no good-
“Ewwwww, who would want to kiss Izzy?” A girl near her wrinkles her nose - Lindsey Smith, Izzy’s brain supplies, in an airless dizzy spin of details that aren’t important but she can’t stop circling around. “She looks like a boy.”
“Hey, back off.” Izzy, surprised, glances over her shoulder to find Noah Hawkins looking up from his own book, eyes narrowed. “Izzy’s hair is cool, and it’s cooler than yours anyway, Lindsey-kins. You just wish you looked as good as she does.”
“Shut up! You just say that because you’re a boy, of course you think boy hair looks cool.” Lindsey sticks her tongue out, crossing her arms in front of herself. She has big poofy hair like Izzy’s would be if she didn’t have her dad cut it so short, held back with a clip. Hers is red, though.
“There’s no such thing,” Sarah says from over by the window. “As boy or girl hair, I mean. There’s no such thing. It’s all just hair. Izzy’s hair does look cool. You all should leave it alone, Mrs. Brent is going to be back inside any second and we’ll all get in trouble if there’s fighting.”
“Yeah, Izzy,” Henry hisses at her, leaning in close. Too close. She forgets how to breathe. “Stop causing trouble, Izzy.”
“I’m not,” Izzy whispers. Her face feels like it might light on fire. Her fingernails dig into her palms, until she feels flashes of pain, creating crescents that could take hours to fully fade if she did it hard enough. “I was-... I was just-”
“Just butting in where you don’t belong,” Henry finishes for her. “It’s not your business.”
“It’s-... but, but I just-” Her voice is fading fast, airy and breathless, barely a whisper. Quiet little Izzy Gallagher, who never stands up for herself, who lets everyone talk to her like this, who never says a word she isn’t asked to say. Her fear batters her with wings inside her chest, but beneath it is something else entirely, trying to rise up and take over her mind and mouth. Anger. She and Dr. Marty had talked about it, about how it was a normal feeling to feel, but every swell of it within her was met by the rising tide of fear in response.
She never lets herself be angry. That would make her like her mother, who was angry so much, and she’s not like that, she’s not. 
She doesn’t think, in the moment, that her mother isn’t the only parent who knows how to be angry.
The thoughts are not conscious. They aren’t driven by any kind of logic, they loop and swirl around each other. They flash bright like light in the back of her mind. She thinks about the story, the book inside her desk, the way the Prince fell upon the silver chair, how he swung his sword in dim light. 
She thinks about the prince walking out the hotel doors with a baby in one arm and a little girl on his hip, a backpack heavy against his back, into the sunlight outside. She can remember the way he breathed quick and shallow against her hair, the racing of his heart as he asked her to be very quiet, and very brave. She didn’t know he was scared, he didn’t say it, he was just the Prince, shining in the sunlight, asking for directions to the train station and going in a suit to court later and the silver gave way before the sword’s edge like string, and in a moment a few twisted fragments, shining on the floor, were all that was left of the chair. 
“But-but-but-but, I just-” Henry is still going, and Izzy’s eyes burn as hot as her face, lips pulling back from her teeth in a grimace like a snarl. “Just shut up, Izzy Gallagher, nobody cares what you think.”
“Don’t be a dick, I care,” Noah says, from the back of the room, his voice getting louder, now. Other students whoop and go ooooh, Noah likes Izzy, but Noah ignores them, and he doesn’t turn even a little bit red. “Izzy hasn’t done anything wrong to you.” She barely knows Noah, he’s in her class but they don’t talk or anything. This is the first time he’s done more than help her with a math problem, this is the first time she’s heard him even talk in class without the teacher calling on him.
But it feels good to have somebody else stand up for her. 
“She’s butting in!” Henry protests, hands up like he’s the innocent one. “Kevin and I were just talking-”
“About kissing Karissa Bellweather!” Izzy half-shouts. “From the other class! You were talking about kissing someone even if she doesn’t want to! You said you would even if she said no! That’s not right!”
“Ew,” Someone says, Izzy doesn’t know who. Her blood is rushing in her ears almost too loud to hear. “Do you like-like Karissa Bellweather, Henry?”
“No! I don’t!” Henry looks stricken. He hadn’t expected her to just say it out loud like that to everybody. “Gallagher’s lying! She’s a liar!”
“I’m not! I’m not a fucking liar!” Her voice is too loud and she claps her hands over her mouth. Don’t cry, she thinks to herself, and her own thought-voice twists into her mother’s sharper edges. Her palms ache and she wonders if her nails have broken skin, but the wonder is faint, and faded. She feels a hand pressed against the back of her neck, the Queen of the Underland’s voice beside her ear. Don’t cry, Bella. You’re so ugly when you cry. Jax, get her out of my sight. 
“Fuck off,” Izzy says, voice trembling. She isn’t really talking to Henry, not anymore. “Leave-... leave me alone.”
“Oooh, what’re you gonna do, huh? Gonna throw some punches?” Kevin is too close on the other side, now. They’re both too close. Izzy’s heart beats all out of time, and when she goes to breathe, it… it doesn’t work. Her breath is stuck in her throat, halfway down. The air just… sits there, and she can’t hitch it in or exhale it. It feels like her throat is closing up, she’ll choke on nothing, black out and fall down. “Bonkers Izzy Gallagher, gonna fight us, are you?”
“I-I could-” Her voice is a whimper, and Izzy closes her eyes. 
“Could not,” Henry mocks, from his side of her. “You’re weak as a puppy. What are you gonna do?”
“Stop-... stop you from talking anymore,” Izzy says, and pushes her chair back with a loud scrape, getting to her feet. She should tell Dr. Marty about the book, she thinks, about the Queen of the Underland. She should tell her father about the Prince tied to the chair, and how he chopped the chair to bits, and she should tell them all about it, nice and safe and quiet at home, and not do what she’s afraid she’s going to do instead.
“How, gonna use something you learned from your mam in prison?” Henry asks, and Izzy remembers, all at once, how to breathe - but it’s all poison. She gulps in air, fear sparking up, her nerves feel like a hundred thousand tiny lightning strikes. She wants to run but she’s at school and there isn’t anywhere to go. 
“Wh-what?”
“My dad says your mam’s famous in the States for being in prison,” Henry says, leaping on this new tactic as the blood drains from Izzy’s face. He’s like animals on the nature shows that James likes to watch at home with their snack, circling a calf all alone. She’s a wounded baby calf, she’s weighing the herd down, she’s not strong or brave enough, she never was. “Did she teach you how to prison-fight? Ooooh, did she show you how to make a-” He jabs at the air, fist closed empty around an imaginary knife. “A prison-blade?”
“Shiv,” Kevin supplies helpfully.
“Right, that. Did your mam show you how to shank someone?”
“I don’t-... I don’t talk to my mom,” Izzy says, half-strangled by her own words. Her head is spinning. Her backpack is so far away. “We don’t-... we don’t have contact-... she doesn’t talk to me, isn’t allowed-”
“Oh, ew.” Henry sits back, and his face lights up with the simple cruelty of wounding someone who looks unable to fight back, of regaining his own stability and distracting everyone from his embarrassment by bringing up Izzy’s shame instead. “Are you so awful even your mam doesn’t want to talk to you?”
No. She doesn’t. Izzy’s lip trembles. She can’t bring herself to try and respond. She doesn’t, she doesn’t want to know anything about me at all. The last thing my mom ever said to me was yelling at me not to look so scared all the time and Dad said she never asked about me when he talked to her during the trial she never asked she never-
“Hey, Henry,” Someone says. “This is super gross stuff to say, isn’t it?” Izzy can’t see anything but Henry’s face, everything else is white noise and his words ringing through her, settling too deeply inside, meeting her own thoughts that match them, sometimes, on hard days. She never asked about me, she doesn’t even care that I hate her. Your mam is supposed to care if you hate her. You’re so awful your mom doesn’t even care about you. Your mam is supposed to-
“Yeah, Henry. That’s too far, that’s really mean.”
“She can’t help who her mam is, Hen.”
“Yeah, it’s not like she went to the mam shop and picked a rubbish one.”
“My dad was away for a while, Iz, I get it. My mam says it doesn’t say anything about us. People make bad choices is all.”
“I haven’t even seen my dad since I was five, Izzy, it’s okay, don’t be sad.”
“Yeah, it’s okay, Izzy, don’t be sad, Henry’s just being awful.”
“Hey, she was awful first!”
“Go run up a pole, Henry. I like you, Izzy,” Sarah says, from the window, and moves in her direction. “Henry’s being a jerk, don’t listen to him. Don’t be sad. It’s okay.”
“I like you, too, you’re fun at break, you always have good ideas for games.” That’s Amira, using that certain kind of tone you use when you are trying to comfort an upset person, and Izzy feels some of the ice closing around her heart starting to warm up, to melt, to crack apart. 
Even Lindsey says, almost grudging, “Don’t be sad because of Henry, Izzy. He’s really mean sometimes.”
“I think you’re really cool,” Noah says, in a quieter voice. “Please don’t be sad. Want to play monsters at break?”
They don’t all hate her, they don’t. Someone puts a hand at her back, and she flinches, and they pull the hand away, but they don’t hate her for pulling away, they don’t hate her voice or her hair and they don’t hate her for speaking up, they don’t. 
Henry hasn’t given up, not yet. “Your mam’s in prison for being a shit to your dad, isn’t she?” 
Izzy doesn’t look at him, leaning down to pull the book out of her desk, trying to think. She can pull her backpack out and go the nurse, say she’s feeling sick, and maybe her dad will come get her and take her home. They can call Dr. Marty and she can tell him what happened and Dr. Marty will know what to tell her and her dad to work on for the next time. She can tell him that there were good things, too, like that Noah said he thinks she’s cool, and Amira likes her game ideas, and not everybody hates her because she has the wrong mom, and it’s going to be okay. 
It’s going to be okay.
“Henry, stop it,” She says, in a half-whisper. “Please stop.”
She can go to the nurse. Say she’s sick, it’s not a lie, her stomach is all twisted up in knots. It’ll be true, she’s not going to feel better. She has sweat on her forehead drying cold, making her shiver a little. It’s not a lie, being scared makes her sick, it’s a real sick, it’s not a lie. She gets sick a lot from being scared, Dr. Marty says it’s normal for kids who have anxiety, she has exercises to do, she can picture all her hurting thoughts and move them away, and… 
“That’s what my dad said.” Henry’s voice cuts in. “He said your mam’s a piece of fucking work and probably made your dad one, too-”
“Don’t talk about my dad!” She rounds on him, then, book clutched to her chest. “Don’t you dare, you don’t-... you don’t have any right! You don’t know what happened, you don’t know us, you don’t know anything! My dad is better than yours ever could be! And, and stronger, and braver, too!”
Izzy Gallagher, quiet as a mouse, teacher’s pet from sheer terrified inaction, who always sits still and listens carefully and takes direction so well and is just an absolute pleasure to have in class, Mr. Gallagher, an absolute pleasure, is shouting and doesn’t realize it until the words have left her mouth. 
She should stop, some part of her brain begs her to stop, but the anger is suddenly larger than the fear and she is a little girl with a sword. Where they came from, and what she and her father and her little brother have survived, is a silver chair she will hack to bits until all that’s left shines like jewelry when held up to the light.
Henry’s eyes widen, they are big saucers, and they are very bright and very blue.
“My dad is amazing.” She can’t stop shouting. She’s not even trying to stop any longer. “He lived through really bad stuff and he still got us away from it! Even though it would have been easier to go by himself and leave us, he didn’t, and my mom is evil, and I’m not, because you don’t have to be what your mom is and I’m not ever going to be like that, but you are evil, Henry Fitzgerald, and you don’t even have an excuse! You’re-... you’re mean for no reason, and I hope Karissa spits in your face and kicks you between your legs as hard as she fucking can! You are an asshole, Henry Fitzgerald, and you can go fuck yourself all the way home!”
“Isabella Gallagher!” Mrs. Brent’s voice is shocked, and the words die in Izzy’s throat, as she slowly turns to see the teacher standing in the doorway, staring at her like she’d grown three heads and all of them have fangs. 
Izzy feels like she has fangs, too. And claws, like she is a monster herself. She should be scared, or sad, or ashamed of herself, but all she feels is anger burning bright and hot and good in her veins, louder than fear. Angry feels safer than scared. She feels proud of herself, a feeling so unfamiliar it seems like it must be someone else’s. Sarah, close to her now, whispers, go Izzy, in a soft impressed voice, and Izzy feels her eyes burn again, more than before, but for a different reason. 
They don’t hate her, and Henry isn’t saying bad things about her dad any longer, because of her. They don’t hate her.
“You might be even cooler now,” Amira says, and the teacher shushes all of them and points Izzy out, telling her to go see the Head Teacher. Any other Izzy would slink out with her shoulders hunched, full of fear, but this Izzy feels the buzz of standing up for herself running through her and warming all the cold, chasing the heavy hand on her neck away. This Izzy walks with her chin up and her shoulders back.
Some of the warm feeling goes away when the Head Teacher calls her dad to come get her, and says in her stern hard voice that Izzy was yelling and cursing at another student. The Head Teacher doesn’t say that she had a reason, and makes it sound like Izzy just stood up and started cursing for no reason at all. That’s… that’s not fair. Grown-ups always do that, make it seem like kids just go off for no reason, and Izzy can’t hear what her dad says back to the Head Teacher, but a lot of the warm feeling goes away, then. Her heart feels cold and scared again.
What if he’s mad at her?
What if she can’t be sorry enough to fix it?
Izzy sits in a hard wooden chair that is shaped all wrong for kids and makes her legs hurt after a while, waiting for him to come get her with a racing heart, her book open in her lap. 
There’s some brown-y red smeared on the cover, drying. She made her palms bleed when she was scared and didn’t even notice. She’ll ask her dad to buy the school library a new one. She wants to keep this one for herself.
"I have come," said a deep voice behind them. They turned and saw the Lion himself, so bright and real and strong that everything else began at once to look pale and shadowy compared with him. And in less time than it takes to breathe Jill forgot about the dead King of Narnia and remembered only how she had made Eustace fall over the cliff, and how she had helped to muff nearly all the signs, and about all the snappings and quarrellings. And she wanted to say "I'm sorry" but she could not speak. Then the Lion drew them towards him with his eyes, and bent down and touched their pale faces with his tongue, and said:
"Think of that no more. I will not always be scolding. You have done the work for which I sent you into Narnia."
"Please, Aslan," said Jill, "may we go home now?"
"Yes. I have come to bring you Home," said Aslan.
A flash of gray, worn jeans in her vision brings her slowly into awareness of the world around her, but it’s the voice that breaks her completely from the story’s spell. 
“Talk to me, kiddo.”
Izzy looks up to meet her father’s eyes, surprised - she hadn’t even heard him come up. But they’re quiet movers, the Gallaghers - except for Jamie, who never had to learn to move so quiet she couldn’t hear him, who never had to push down all his sounds so deep inside himself he could go whole days without making any at all. 
Her dad drops into a crouch in front of her, and his knees crack a little, but if it bothers him he doesn’t show it. He looks up at her, from this angle, and he doesn’t look mad.
He almost never looks mad at her.
“I got a call that you were fighting in class.” He looks like he’s trying not to twitch a smile at the corner of his mouth. “And using some pretty creative language.”
“Can’t imagine where I learned to curse,” Izzy says gravely, and there - that was definitely a smile on his face that he has to hide as fast as it shows. She lives for her father’s smile. Still, she closes her book, and folds her hands on top of the stain on the cover so he won’t see it. “I only yelled a little. Henry Fitzgerald was mean to me, and he was going to-... he was going to kiss a girl who didn’t want him to kiss her, even if she didn’t want him to. He said it didn’t matter if she wanted to or not.”
“Ah.” It’s all he says, at first. His face doesn’t show much, now. Her nervous heart starts to beat fast again.
“It’s, that was, um, that was before he got mean. He got mean when I told him that it’s wrong to do that and… I kind of… told everybody in class he was going to.”
Her father’s eyebrows raise, a little. “You did, did you?”
“Yes. Then he said his dad told him my mom’s in prison and that-” She stops herself, closing her hands tightly over the book, before her voice can start to shake again. She takes deep breaths, strong ones, fills her whole lungs up. Her dad waits for her, he always waits for Izzy when she needs him to. “He said, it was just, it was a stupid thing, but it made me really angry.”
Her dad’s face hasn’t changed, but Izzy knows when emotions change in a room, even without anyone’s face moving at all. She can feel that something has shifted inside him, something he’s not showing her. “What did he say?” 
“That I must be awful if my mom doesn’t even want to talk to me.” She says it flat, like it doesn’t bother her at all to hear it. No big deal, it’s normal to have a mother who hates you for stealing your father even though it didn’t happen that way. “Then he said mean stuff about you, and… I was already upset, so… I kind of went off on him. I’m sorry you got called and had to come get me.”
“But you’re not sorry you did it,” He says, and it’s not a question.
She presses her lips tightly together, and shakes her head. “I’m… I’m not. He needed to be yelled at. I’m not sorry, Dad. I mean, I am sorry that you have to do anything, but, I’m not-... sorry for calling him all those names and I will put my money from my birthday in the swear jar if you want, I’ll skip tea for a week and put all my chocolates in there, but I still won’t be sorry for yelling when he was mean about you.”
He huffs a sound like quiet laughter and offers her his hands. “Izzy… I don’t care what a year three kid - or his dad - says about me. But clearly it was important to you. Let me go in there and talk to the Head Teacher about it, and we’ll talk out what happens next on our way home. Okay?”
No anger, or threatening punishments, no mention of discipline ever leaves his slightly smiling lips. Izzy is never taught through making her afraid, not anymore. But he waits, seriously, for her to acknowledge what he’s said. 
“Okay, Dad. We’ll talk about what I need to do. And-... can we call Dr. Marty when we get home? I-... want to talk to Dr. Marty about what happened.”
He looks surprised, but not unhappy about it, and nods. “Yeah, kiddo. Good plan. I’ll be back out in just a bit.” When he turns to walk into the Head Teacher’s office, she thinks that even with everything, he looks very like a grown-up prince, and the rings in his ears look like shredded silver. 
She lifts a hand to touch the shell of her own ear, on her left side. 
Izzy opens her book, to the murmur of their voices as they talk about her. She decides to finish it later, and instead she flips back to read again the bit where the prince takes his sword to the chair that kept him under the spell and tells the evil Queen of Underland that he isn’t hers any longer. 
He will go home, to his family, to be freed of her entirely, even if she still shows up in bad dreams… bad dreams are the only place she can come to, now. He’ll wake up and someone will tell him that she’s gone and she can’t come back, and it will be true. They’ll tell him, again and again, until he believes it. 
Izzy will tell her dad, until he believes it.
Jax will tell her, until she believes it, too.
But first… 
Prince Rilian shivered as she spoke to him. And no wonder: it is not easy to throw off in half an hour an enchantment which has made one a slave for ten years. Then, speaking with a great effort, he said:
"Madam, there will be no more need of that chair. And you, who have told me a hundred times how deeply you pitied me for the sorceries by which I was bound, will doubtless hear with joy that they are now ended for ever. There was, it seems, some small error in your Ladyship's way of treating them. These, my true friends, have delivered me. I am now in my right mind, and there are two things I will say to you…”
“Go fuck yourself,” Izzy whispers with a smile on her face and the thrill of forbidden words up her spine. She isn’t talking to Henry Fitzgerald this time, either. She never really was. “And I’m not sorry you’re not Queen anymore at all.”
---
@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @wildfaewhump @whump-tr0pes @moose-teeth @orchidscript @sableflynn @pretty-face-breaker @raigash @vickytokio @eatyourdamnpears
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sharkfish · 4 years ago
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love ‘em, can’t live without ‘em: early-career writers!
[masterpost of rec lists]
new content creators are the lifeblood of fandom, so here i present stories by folks who have five or less destiel fics published (...so far) as of december 2020!!! 
please give them some love!!! 
under the cut since it got long~ 
the burden of belonging by Newtondale @soft-klaus (8k)
Dean doesn't know where he's going, he just drives.
He meanders. Takes whatever road he wants without worrying about efficiency or speed. He watches the landscape change around him as he heads east, towards the sea. Sometimes he listens to music, and sometimes he doesn’t. Most of the time he just thinks, the way he has always thought best; with an open road ahead and horror close behind.
Cas always comes back to him. Cas has always come back. Whether it takes minutes, or weeks, or months - Cas comes back to him.
But Cas hasn’t come back. How much longer is supposed to wait? Minutes? Months? How long is he supposed to live like this, like there’s nothing else that matters except the space beside him where Cas should be?
So he just drives.
Dean Winchester’s 12-Step Guide to Inebriated Online Retail Therapy for Fallen Angels and Judgemental Brothers With Bad Hair (Suck It, Sammy) by justholdingstill @justholdingstill   (3k) 
Alternatively titled Dean Wayne: The Life & Legend
Dean gets drunk. Dean orders things online. Hilarity ensues.
Hang-Ups by anupalya @anupalya (2k)
A slip of the tongue while hanging up a zoom meeting with Castiel leaves Dean in a panic.
****
Jsksdjdjskal
I'm starting to think you're letting Blueberry walk over your keyboard again.
i'm moving to Thailand
?????
I have to
Dean
I have no choice
... so I take it the meeting went well?
dream root & fumbling through the darkness by visionsofyerface @omnishamblegreg (1.3k)
Dean takes dream root for some fun angsty wanderings into Cas’s head, and then actually goes to the Empty, but Cas doesn't believe it's really him.
How Long? by MinxyOne93 @substitutesalt93 (WIP - 37k)
Dean has been going on reckless hunts by himself. Cas confronts him and all those years of unresolved pining come to a boiling point.
_
"Dean. How long?" The angel said, still quiet but so raw with emotion, eyes still wide with shock.
Dean looked down at the floor and sighed. "Since... always. I knew it for sure in Purgatory. But always." He then added in a near whisper, tears threatening to spill from behind his now closed eyelids, "I'm sorry, Cas."
"Sorry? You're sorry?" Castiel felt dumbfounded. The constant loneliness and longing he had sensed from Dean that seemed to grow worse and worse with the passing of years made so much more sense now.
"Dean," was all Cas could say before releasing his grip on his collar and gently, slowly, deliberately, kissing the corner of his mouth. A shocked gasp left Dean’s mouth of its own accord and he melted into Castiel's tight embrace.
It's The Thought That Counts by oceaxe @oceaxe-ifdawn (3k)
It’s Dean’s birthday and while angels have no birthdays, Castiel has a) been around human cultures for long enough to be aware of the nearly universal customs of celebrating the anniversary of a loved one’s birth and b) has been living with humans for long enough that he’s been included in some of those celebrations. But the art of gift-giving continues to elude his comprehension.
Lucky Winner by natmoose @natmoose (32k)
Dean wins a trip to Paris. In and of itself, that’s an amazing thing, but the problem is: he isn’t in a relationship with Lisa anymore, and the trip requires a romantic partner. The obvious choice is Cas, his roommate and best friend of 3 years, but coming with that are some very very complicated feelings and things Dean absolutely doesn’t want to deal with.
But Dean isn’t selfish and also really wants to give his overworked best friend a well deserved holiday, so the only and best solution is to take Cas to Paris, romantic theme be damned. What Dean doesn’t know is that their whole trip will be documented by a photographer from the company - so to avoid their vacation being cut short, Dean and Cas will have to convincingly play a couple.
Once Upon a Falling Star by GrandestBlood @grumpy-mccat (WIP - 3k) 
Alternate outcome for season 5's Endverse where Castiel never lost his grace but he was tricked to retreat back to heaven with the other angels, leaving Dean behind in the refugee camp.
Prompt for this was: The world has ended 500 years ago. You finally went back to Earth and discovered a voice message. You learn a shocking secret about 500 years ago.
Sending A Message by ivebeenpossessedbysatan @ivebeenpossessedbysatan (WIP - 15k)
Castiel Novak didn't expect to be kidnapped. Sure, he'd seen it happen before, but that was all in movies. Just because his mother had married into money didn't mean that someone was actually going to kidnap him and try to ransom him for money.
Only apparently it did, because here he was, tied to a chair in the corner of the most cliché warehouse he'd ever seen.
Why was this is life?
so leave me // at the roadside by LinkInThePark @saminzat (3k)
”This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone out on his own at all, but he was tired of sitting around in the bunker, where the walls seemed to close in on him and the halls were too empty at the same time. Where everything reminded him of what had happened, of the battles they had fought and the people they had lost.
Of the words left unsaid.”
Dean is taking the Impala on a ride, trying to escape everything that's happened... And, in the process, is finally forced to confront his grief. 15x19 coda.
Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Words Might Get Me Laid by Mrs King of Hell (Slytherkins) @slytherkins (3k)
When Dean's name calling goes too far, Castiel decides to teach him a lesson in manners.
"Take a Sad Song and Make it Better" by Shishquah_CustardTree @shishquahcustardtree (WIP - 27k) 
After being bought and abused by Alistair for many years, Dean Winchester finally gets another chance at life and love by the means of a car crash and a bullet.
The One (1) Time Dean Winchester Tried Something New by archangelgabe @3dg310rdsupreme (2k)
What fun is a relationship that doesn't start with the gross misunderstanding that your crush is hitting on your kid brother?
The one where they get heaven-married by mercurialkitty @mercurialkitty (1.3k)
First a quick chat with Sam in the Impala, then it's off to find Cas.
A finale fix-it where Dean and Cas get heaven-married
There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by diaryofageekgirl @diaryofageekgirl  (5k) 
Somehow, in the middle of severing vamp necks in the dead of night in a run-down barn in Ohio, Dean had a revelation.
Or: nothing stays dead on Supernatural.
This is heaven by madbrilliant84 @madbrilliant84 (800)
“Come on dude! Don’t tell me you don’t know what your legs look like! I bet you could crush melons with those.”
Cas seemed incredibly amused by this. “And that’s something that turns you on?”
Dean smiled while biting is bottom lip. He slowly nodded. His playful tone dropped to something more heated.
“Uh huh. First thing I noticed when I saw you sitting on that bar stool.”
You're Not Alone by Wordsintothevoid @deancas-stan (15k)
Dean has an imaginary friend. Sure, that's weird as hell but he doesn't care. Cas has been there to support him during every horrible thing in Dean's short miserable life and he is not giving up Cas. Sure, Dean may also sorta kinda be in love with him. Oops. And it hurts but Dean will keep it platonic. But then Cas leaves. And then Dean breaks.
We’ll All Arrive in Heaven Alive by invisibledrugs @reasonsweweresinging (1k)
The Winchesters are finally dying, and for good.
But that's okay, because Dean knows what - and who - is waiting for him.
last but definitely not least, @uncastiel doesn’t have any fics yet but is taking prompts! 
139 notes · View notes
hadtochangemyurlquick · 4 years ago
Note
do you have any headcanons for the unsinkable 8?
sure do!
dot gets a “world’s best dad” mug as a joke gift from the gang on her birthday and she immediately gets into dad jokes. one of her fave is pronouncing kind like the kind in “goodkind” whenever she’s talking to Shelby, and to sneak it into the conversation as much as possible. it is quite literally sooooooo dumb.
Dot: it takes all kinds, thank you kindly, that is so kind of you, ect.
Shelby: get a hobby
Nora doesn’t stop counting days. she keeps track of them in a notebook and has a “days since the island” count that the girl’s periodically ask her about. but she also has a “days since I’ve last been kissed” and a “days since leah got out of rehab” and a “days since toni’s mom last used” and a “days since fatin played the cello” and a “days since Dot had a panic attack” and a “days since Rachel had a bad food day” and too many others to name. most of the ones the girls know about but sometimes in conversation they’ll offhandedly mention something and Nora will input a highly specific number that makes everyone realize how tight she’s keeping track of things
Rachel has perfect pitch. she doesn’t realize she does, doesn’t really care that she does, but Fatin finds out and starts demanding she help with the cello which is when they learn Rachel can sing. like, sing intensely amazingly. she doesn’t really care enough to pursue a music career but sometimes she’ll post a jam session with shelby or something on insta, and get tons of support. there’s a running gag that they should release an ep and while everyone in the eight is very musical and artistic, it’s all in entirely different ways. Fatin really is classically trained, Shelby is partial to country, Toni loves rap while Dot loves heavy metal. Martha and Rachel both love pop but have wildly different opinions regarding it and Nora listens to a ton of indie by artists no one has heard of before. once they tried to put a song together just for shits and giggles and it entirely collapsed within five minutes
Shelby and Toni don’t want to settle down and they don’t want to conform to capitalism and while the island sucked in every way it sucked they also don’t want to live as separated from nature as Shelby was forced to for most of her life. they end up buying a van and living out of their car, just driving around Texas. they visit the girls a lot, but they enjoy the freedom of not having to go anywhere or do anything but having the only responsibility be to themselves. Toni gets pretty into nature photography, which brings in some income, and Shelby starts learning other instruments just for fun: guitar, flute, violin, sort of whatever she happens to run into. she asks Fatin to teach her the cello and gets a flat and very understandable “no way in hell i’d rather get trapped on an island again” in response
Martha starts a little animal rescue and falls in love with the the boy who runs the cafe across the street and it’s like a gross rom com. he’s stupid, though not a himbo bc he’s kinda mean at first, more of a womanizer than anything. it’s this frustrating enemies to lovers where Martha cannot stand him and his perfect abs and his passion for cooking and his attention to detail. whenever there’s a new development the entire gang has to hear about it individually on a phone call from her. his meanness comes from a place of insecurity, pushing her away so that he never has to put himself out there bc he doesn’t think he’s good enough bc he’s mean bc the insecurity (vicious cycle, you get it), and once he’s kinda forced to bc c’mon, it’s Martha, if any of us met her we’d all instantly fall in love, he transforms into a himbo, stupid pretty and also stupid. they adopt four dogs, six cats, three guinea pigs, a chinchilla, two hamsters, an aquarium filled with fish, five birds, and so on and so on. once Martha asked Toni to pet sit and Toni faked her death for seven weeks. they also end up having like a stupid amount of kids. like so many kids. it’s a zoo it really is. and they still have that animal rescue and cafe right across from one another. sometimes they’ll send their employees to pass notes to each other and when Rachel found out she stopped talking to Martha for nine days bc it was soooo gross.
Fatin’s approach to life is very very strange. she makes a decision and she goes for it. like once she decided she was gonna summit Mount Kilimanjaro, and she trained for it and did it and then was like “okay great never climbing a mountain again, i no longer care.” she got elected to congress and she stayed there for a single term, she got a doctorate in musical theory then gave up music, got a million subscribers on youtube then gave up social media, just running through things like she’s running through a bucket list. she learned to speak five languages, (one of those martha’s language, can’t remember the name of it, typing too quick to look it up) then stopped. successfully campaigned for an area to be named a natural park so it would stay protected and gave up activism. like, she just runs around on side quests doing shit. she got her boating license, her pilots license, a real estate license, a license to practice law, and a license to kill. sometimes one of the girls would come with her on her grand crusade (Dot climbed the mountain with her, Toni and Shelby learned the language with her, Rachel helped her in her music classes, Leah helped with the activism) but like sometimes she’d just be doing stuff on her own. and she was learning to be okay with that.
Leah starts collecting really old books. and it’s not really a big deal at first it’s just her at a garage sale or a used book store picking up a title that feels nice against her fingers or that she recognizes the author of, until suddenly it is a big deal. until she has people calling her asking her to pick up a box or else they’ll get thrown away. entirely on accident she becomes well versed in book preservation and restoration, building a library and releasing it to the public, keeping copies of books that went out of print ages ago with signatures by authors who’s hands have rotted away in their graves. it’s a lot of little work, a lot of careful focused work so her brain can’t run away from her, and a lot of isolated work too. some days she wakes up and realizes she hasn’t talked to the other girls for weeks and it’s tangible, the missing them. the books stack up higher and higher in her shelves. when she’s dead and gone someone will write a biography describing all of the incredible work she did for the preservation of history and writing. the island will be a footnote.
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katsubuns · 4 years ago
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Chapter 14 - Hope
Bakugou x Reader // Kirishima x Reader
Masterlist in bio; warnings in Masterlist; chapter specific warnings - making out and undressing I guess  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
//
"I swear to god, if I have to call you one more time, I'm going to get really mad!" You yelled from the kitchen, a big frown on your face.
Breakfast was ready to be served, but apparently, nobody around you seemed to care. You had been calling out for the past five minutes, but not a single footstep could be heard.
"Fine," you shouted. "No breakfast it is then."
Usually, the prospect of missing out on a meal made your family run right to the table - but not today. It was odd, and you couldn't help but worry a little.
You walked upstairs, but all the rooms were empty. Panic was setting in, where was everyone? They had been here just half an hour ago when you had woken them up. How could they have vanished just like that? It immediately gave you flashbacks of a night a long time ago. Your eyes started to tear up, and you frantically searched the house, but you didn't find what you were looking for.
A loud squeal made you jump, and you walked towards the back door where the noise had come from. You opened it and immediately felt a massive weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Thank god, they were alright.
You leaned against the door frame, watching your children play catch with their father. It was the middle of summer, so it was already warm outside. You couldn't help but smile when you saw the kids running around, trying to escape from their dad who was pretending to be a big bad wolf attempting to capture them.
You made eye contact with your husband, and he gave you a soft smile, right before he snatched your daughter from behind, making her giggle loudly. He placed her on his shoulders, and she squealed in excitement.
"Daddy is my pet dragon!" She exclaimed, pulling on his hair as though she was holding reins.
Your husband let it happen, he could never say no to her, a bad habit he would definitely have to give up before she became too spoilt.
He looked around the garden, pretending that he wasn't able to see your son, who was poorly hidden behind a tree.
"I wonder where Hisashi has gone," your husband wondered. "If we can't find him he'll have to stay out here forever."
You started chuckling, and your son immediately ran out of hiding, tackling his father's leg.
"I'm right here, daddy!" He laughed. "I'm the best at hiding! You never find me."
Your husband laughed and easily picked the little boy up. He held your daughter on his shoulders with one arm and carried your son with the other. You would never understand where he took the strength from. Your kids weren't all that small anymore, you struggled to pick up even one of them.
"Alright, let's get inside and have some breakfast. You know how scary your mum gets when you let her wait," he chuckled, knowing full well that you heard him say that.
You giggled in response and walked into the kitchen, followed by your family. The morning exercise had made your kids hungry, so you didn't have to struggle to get them to sit down, which you very much welcomed. You didn't have all that much energy these days.
You were still standing by the kitchen counter, pouring yourself a cup of tea, when strong arms hugged you from behind. You turned your head around and looked into your husband's beautiful eyes. He gave you a big smile.
"Good morning, my gorgeous wife," he said, giving you a long kiss.
"GROSS!" your kids screamed from their seats.
You both laughed and joined them at the table. You started spreading jam on your toast when your husband spoke up.
"You know," he said. "It's important that mommies and daddies kiss like that."
You gave him a confused look, what was he doing? Your kids were too young for this kind of conversation. Your children watched him intently - they both looked up to their father and listened to everything he had to say.
"If mommy and daddy wouldn't kiss, then neither of you would be here," he explained.
You couldn't help but chuckle a bit, he was such a dork. Your kids believed him and were impressed by their dad's wisdom.
"So that's where babies come from," your son, Hisashi, said surprised, earning a nod from his father.
"But then why are you still kissing mommy?" Your daughter asked. "She already has a baby in her belly."
Your daughter pointed at your tummy, and you gave her a soft smile. It was true, you were pregnant with your third child, and you couldn't be happier about it. You had always wanted a big family and to see this dream come true, after everything you had gone through, was an absolute blessing.
You looked at your husband who wasn't quite sure what to say. He always did that. He would say something that he hadn't quite thought through, and then he looked at you for help like a lost puppy. But this time you just shrugged your shoulders, enjoying the sight of him not knowing what to say. After a couple minutes of silence, he finally spoke up.
"The more kisses mummy gets, the healthier the baby will be," he explained with a smirk, looking at you with loving eyes.
Your children were thoroughly impressed by that answer and immediately jumped off their chairs, running towards you and showering you with kisses to your bump. They were such little angels, the best kids you could have asked for.
You looked at the man who blessed you with these children and gave him a soft smile. He smiled back and mouthed a silent I love you. It made your heart beat faster. Even after ten years, he still had that effect on you.
Your kids let go of you and looked at you with big eyes.
"Can we go play now?" Hisashi asked.
You glanced over to their plates and saw that they had finished their breakfast. You simply nodded, and they immediately ran upstairs to their playroom.
When you got up to start clearing the table, your husband got up too, taking the dirty plates from your hands and placing them back onto the table. He took your hand in his and rubbed it gently.
"How often do I have to tell you to take it easy, you idiot?"
You laughed a little. "Cleaning up after breakfast won't harm the baby or me."
He clicked his tongue. "On days when I'm off work, you're not going to lift a finger," he said, placing his hand on your cheek, feeling your skin under his fingertips.
"You're such a softie."
He scoffed. "I'm not."
You couldn't help but chuckle. "You're the softest guy I've ever met," you teased him. "As soft as a marshmallow."
You knew exactly how to wind him up, and you weren't disappointed. His eyebrow started twitching a little, and he moved closer towards you. His hand now travelling from your cheek down to your neck, snaking around you until he had reached your bum which he squeezed lightly. His other hand was gently massaging your sensitive boobs.
"You know," he whispered in your ear. "Somehow, you become sexier with every pregnancy."
"S-suki," you gasped. "N-not while the kids are here."
"Oh, they won't interrupt us," he said. "They're occupied with their toys."
You closed your eyes and enjoyed the feathery kisses he left on your neck. You knew why he was doing this. He wanted to prove a point, show you that he wasn't a softie, that he could make you a moaning mess with just a few light touches.
Unfortunately, his plan backfired, as it wasn't just you who started to want more than just kisses. He swiftly scooped you up, carefully holding you bridal style so he wouldn't harm you or the baby. He was gentle, but you could tell how much he was trying to hurry to get you into the bedroom.
He gently placed you onto your bed, quietly locking the door behind him. He looked at you with hungry eyes, and it made your entire body shiver in anticipation. No matter how many years had gone by, he still managed to make you feel butterflies.
"You're so goddamn beautiful," he said when he moved to lie next to you, brushing strands of your hair from your face.
You looked at each other, there was so much love in the room. Your lips met in the middle, melting into a passionate kiss. His hands were roaming over your body, gently caressing your boobs. You let out a quiet gasp - you were seven months into your pregnancy, so your breasts were incredibly tender.
It didn't take long for you both to lose your shirts, touching each other's exposed chests. You were both panting, desperate to lose the remainder of your clothes and feel each other in the most intimate way possible.
The moment you unzipped his jeans, you heard a hysterical cry coming from the room across the hallway. You both stopped in your tracks, hoping that your daughter would stop crying without you having to look for her. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
"DADDY WHERE ARE YOU?" You heard your daughter Kaida yell through sobs and hiccups. "HISASHI DESTROYED MY DRAGON!" Her cries were only getting more frantic with every second.
"For fucks sake," Katsuki whined. "Cockblocked by my own children."
You started laughing. "Well, your princess demands your attention, so you should get dressed."
He sighed dramatically. "What does a man have to do around here to make love to his wife?!"
"We can continue this tonight," you assured him, followed by a soft kiss. "I promise."
He grumbled a bit but got dressed immediately. You could see the shadow of tiny feet through the bottom of your bedroom door.
"D-DADDY?" Kaida sobbed. "M-MOMMY?"
"Hang on, sweetie, we'll be out in a minute," you said loud enough for her to hear. You finished dressing and nodded at Katsuki, giving him the okay to open the door.
The moment the door opened, Kaida came running into the room, clutching a torn up dragon plushie in one of her hands. She wrapped her arms around her father's legs and sobbed loudly. Katsuki patted her head and tried to calm her down. He managed to peel her off of him and lifted her up. Holding her in his arms.
"What happened?"
She sobbed again, hiccups now becoming more prominent. "W-we were p-playing, and t-then Hisashi was a m-meanie and he g-got angry, and t-then he broke m-my dragon."
You and Katsuki looked at each other, not quite believing her story. Both your children had a bad temper - just like their father did when he was younger - but Hisashi usually didn't lash out without reason.
"Well, let's go and see what your brother has to say to this," Katsuki said.
The girl whined a little bit. "No, I wanna stay here."
"Mommy is exhausted, so she needs to take a nap," he explained. "So be a good girl and let mommy get some rest, okay?"
Kaida looked towards you, and you gave her a soft smile. She smiled back and nodded. "Okay."
Katsuki closed the door behind him and the little girl, and you lied down on the bed, absentmindedly stroking your belly. You were so thankful that Katsuki was such a big help with the kids and around the house in general. Especially now that you were pregnant again.
If someone had told you ten years ago, that this would be your life one day, you wouldn't have believed them for even a second. Your future had turned out completely different from what you had expected, but you were happy. The life you were living now had brought you your children, and they were the best thing that had ever happened to you.
You and Katsuki had kept your relationship as much of a secret as possible for almost two years. Your close friends and families had known, but you didn't want anyone else to find out. It was very private, and you had gone through enough, you didn't need the tabloid papers calling you out.
In the third year of your relationship, you got pregnant with your first child. It hadn't been planned at all, you had just moved in together a few months prior, and the whole situation took you by surprise - but you were happy nonetheless.
At that point, you hadn't even talked about marriage yet. It was something that you had sort of ruled out, still somewhat afraid of the commitment. But your pregnancy changed everything. You didn't want to bring it up, because you didn't know how Katsuki felt about it, but as you would find out, he had already made his own plans.
He proposed to you on your birthday and to this day, he hated talking about it because it didn't go the way he had planned. You had visited your parents over your birthday, and as they lived a few hours away, you had decided to spend the night at their place.
Katsuki really wanted to propose to you on your birthday, he had even asked your parents for permission. Unfortunately, the weather didn't play along, and he couldn't propose outside as he had initially planned. In the evening you had gone to a restaurant with your parents, but again, the one good opportunity he had had then - failed as well. At this point, he had been really anxious and thought everything had been ruined.
When you returned to your parent's place, he decided that he would do it immediately. But instead, you said that you wanted to watch a movie and get cosy, so you changed into your pyjamas. Your parents did the same, so he put on comfy clothes as well - what else was he supposed to do? In his mind, he was screaming, thinking that everything was going wrong and that he had missed every opportunity.
But as you were watching a movie with your parents in their living room, he suddenly felt like it was either then or never. So he cleared his throat, making you all look at him. He said he had one more birthday present for you and asked you to stand up. You remembered your heart beating out of your chest and how you looked at your parents who were just smiling knowingly.
He went down on one knee, and you could tell how nervous he was. Katsuki had planned this long speech, but he forgot all of it when he looked at you. If you were honest, he didn't have to say anything, you would have said yes no matter what.
He was upset that it wasn't this big proposal that he had planned, but it was perfect in your eyes. Getting engaged in your pyjamas was a cute and funny story. And that your parents had been there, made everything that much better.
So whenever you wanted to tease him, you would bring up this story and he would blush every single time. He said that he had never been more nervous before and that it definitely wasn't his proudest moment. However, deep down, he was just glad that you had said yes and that you were happy with how the proposal had turned out. That was the most important thing to him after all.
After that, you got married fairly quickly. You wanted to be a married couple when your first baby was born, but neither of you wanted a big wedding. So instead of making a big deal out of it, you decided to just go to the registry office and do it then and there. Only having your two witnesses, Ochako and Izuku, with you. Your families had been somewhat upset that you had eloped like that, but at the end of the day, it was your day and your marriage, and they accepted it eventually.
Not long after, your baby boy was born. You had thought long about which name to give him, and you both did think about naming him after Eijiro, but eventually decided against it. One day when your son would ask why you chose his name, you would have to tell him that he was named after your first husband and that was something that neither of you really wanted. Besides that, you didn't think that you could live with saying Eiji's name every single day, it would have opened wounds that still hadn't properly healed yet.
You did want to dedicate the name of your firstborn to Eijiro, though. So you decided to name him Hisashi. As with many Japanese words, the meaning differed depending on the Kanji used to spell the name. The way you had chosen to spell it, gave it the meaning of 'always with you' and you both thought that was very fitting.
After Hisashi was born, you decided to move into your own house together. Adjusting to life as parents had been difficult, and you were both sleep deprived, but happy nonetheless. You had stopped working for a while, wanting to be there for your child instead.
Katsuki had worked his way up to the top, just like he had always wanted. When the then number one hero retired, it was between Katsuki and Izuku to grab the spot. To everyone's surprise - and Katsuki's dismay - it was a tie. Izuku was a little ahead when it came to popularity, but Katsuki won in the category of accomplishments in the field. So they ended up sharing the number one spot. At first, Katsuki hated the idea of not being the single best hero out there, but fatherhood had changed him. He realised that all that really mattered was keeping the people around him safe. Their friendship had also significantly improved over the years - although Katsuki was still calling Izuku names.
About two years later, you were pregnant again. This time it was planned, though. The pregnancy was stressful, to say the least. Your baby girl kept you up every night, and you quickly knew that she would be just as much of a handful as her father used to be. You were continually craving spicy food and then ended up with terrible heartburns. That's why you decided to name her Kaida, it meant little dragon, which was precisely what she was from the day she was born.
During that time, Katsuki and Izuku had decided to open up their own hero agency together. Unsurprisingly, it was immediately successful - it was owned by the two top heroes in all of Japan, after all. You had given up on hero work. Two kids were reason enough for you not to want to fight anymore, so instead, you took on the role of PR manager in their agency. It was ideal, you could work from home or bring your children to the office - perks of your husband being the boss.
Ochako and Izuku had two kids of their own; therefore, Ochako also opted for an office job in the agency. Neither of you had thought about ever entirely giving up on hero work, but the moment you had given birth, your focus had shifted completely. Suddenly, being a hero for a living wasn't as important as being a hero for your children.
About a year ago, you had discussed that you wanted one more baby. You were both in your mid-thirties, and you concluded that it was most likely your last opportunity. Hisashi was now almost seven, and Kaida was five, so you thought you'd be able to handle a newborn. Especially since your children were becoming more independent each day. Sometimes, all you wanted was to slow down time just a little.
You let out a deep sigh. Life was good. There was a time when you didn't think you'd ever say this again, but you were glad that you stayed strong and waited it out. Because after the storm clouds had gone, the sunshine was even more beautiful than it had ever been before.
And every day you were thankful for the people in your life. Katsuki, for being so gentle and patient with you and the children. Your family, for always being there to support you. And your friends, for continuously talking sense into you when you needed it most. You were most thankful for Ochako. She was a fantastic friend, and you cherished that your kids were growing up together.
Thinking about Ochako made you jump up. You had completely forgotten that she and Izuku were coming over this afternoon and that they were staying for dinner. You hadn't prepared a single thing yet. You got up as quickly as possible, making yourself dizzy. You sometimes forgot that you were seven months pregnant and that you had to take it easy.
You opened your bedroom door and heard yelling and tiny explosions coming from the playroom. Oh boy, that didn't sound good at all. You walked towards the room, popping your head through the door and you wished you wouldn't have done so. Katsuki was standing in the middle of the room, his back facing you, and his arms crossed in front of his chest. Both of your children were sitting on the floor, Hisashi was crying, and Kaida was fuming with rage.
"Kaida," Katsuki said in a scolding tone. "How many times have we talked about not using your quirk indoors?"
Your daughter looked down, avoiding her father's gaze. Sometimes you cursed the fact that both your children had inherited versions of Katsuki's quirk. You couldn't count the number of burned or exploded toys you had to replace over the years. You sincerely hoped that baby number three would have your quirk.
"Sorry, daddy," your daughter mumbled.
You could see Katsuki's posture relax, he just couldn't stay mad at her, and she knew that. But then Katsuki looked at his still crying son and tensed up again.
"Look at me, Kaida," he said, making her look up from the floor. "A simple sorry won't cut it this time. You used your quirk on your brother's toys and ended up hurting him. We don't use our quirks to do bad things."
Kaida nodded, now sobbing herself. Katsuki had never gotten mad at her like that before, and she must have realised that she wasn't immune to his anger.
Hisashi wiped away his tears and looked at his sister. "Y-yeah only v-villains do that!"
Kaida now cried hysterically. "I'M NOT A VILLAIN!" She screamed. "Y-you broke m-my dragon first!"
"Yeah, but I didn't mean to," he said. "You killed my hero figures on purpose, just like a villain would!"
You sighed loudly, making Katsuki turn around to face you. He rolled his eyes, making you chuckle lightly. When your daughter spotted you, she jumped up immediately and ran towards you. She tugged on your trousers, wanting you to pick her up.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, but mommy already carries the baby. You're a big girl now, so I can't carry you both," you explained, patting her head a little.
She looked like she was about to cry again. She had clearly hoped that you would side with her, pick her up and tell her brother off.
"I'm not a villain, mommy!" She cried, pressing her face into your leg.
You sighed again. "I know, honey. But you can't just go around using your quirk whenever you're angry," you explained. "I'm sure that you're planning on apologising to your brother and promising that you won't ever do this again, right?"
She nodded, and you gave her a soft smile. "See, villains don't apologise, but you are, so that means you're a hero."
The smile on her face came back immediately, and she ran towards her brother. She tackled him and threw her arms around him. "I'm sorry, onii-chan," she sobbed.
He clicked his tongue, clearly embarrassed by his sister's sudden affection. Katsuki walked towards you and hugged you from the side. You were watching your children make up, and you couldn't help but grin.
"They're both so much like you used to be," you stated.
He chuckled. "Well, I'm glad I'm not like that anymore," he said. "I must have been super annoying."
"You have no idea," you grinned, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Along the way, you had realised that you had the right to be happy. It wasn't disrespectful to Eiji that you had the desire to be smiling again. You knew that he had loved you, and because of that, he would have wanted you to find happiness. You knew that he would be content to see you live your life with a smile on your face.
Sometimes, life took terrible and tragic turns, but nobody should deny themselves happiness over something that life had thrown their way. Humans were social beings that nurtured off of love and joy, you had to accept that it wasn't a crime to acknowledge that and act on it.
Having children with Katsuki hadn't been what you had pictured when you married Eiji all those years ago, but sometime along the way, it had become your new dream - your hope.
You didn't know what life would be like if Eiji had never passed away, but you didn't want to imagine it either. You would still jump at the chance to bring him back to life, but at the same time, you wouldn't want to give up the life you were living now. While his passing had been the worst time of your life, it had eventually led to you giving birth to your beautiful children.
You could have done without the heartache and suffering, but at the end of the day, it had made you to who you were today, and you were thankful for that.
You would always love Eijiro, and nothing would ever entirely fill the void he left behind. But you had learned to expand your heart to dimensions that you didn't believe were possible and let in more love than you thought you were capable of.
Life wasn't ideal, it wasn't perfect, but it was good, and you were ready to take on whatever challenges would come your way.
You knew that you'd always have your two favourite heroes by your side.
//
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samwrights · 5 years ago
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First Year Daddies (+ Kyoutani!)
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I’m trying to spread out my requests—I have a whole bunch of Kuroo ones that I swear he is my most requested person. So let’s take a break from our beloved rooster and get some daddies up in this! That being said, this will kinda be a part 2 to Karasuno as dads, with the addition of our beloved Mad Dog. @dreamyjaems you know what’s up.
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Kageyama;
Alright, let’s redeem Kags cause I did him dirty last time.
It took him sometime to get used to being a parent, but when he finally got it down, he loved every second of it.
Your daughter, now five years old, loves daddy just as much as he loves her.
Now that you’d gone back to work and the two of you had some semblance of a schedule, Kageyama was 100% in charge of childcare while you worked in the morning.
Lucky break for the two of you that Kags didn’t start practice until the afternoon, giving him time to take your little girl to kindergarten with you picking her up.
It was the same routine every morning—mommy goes to work and daddy makes pancakes while putting on Disney movies.
Always a short stack and he made sure to cut it up just the way his little girl liked it—into 16 pieces. Yes, 16. No more, no less.
Your daughter was a lucky little bugger, getting her fathers thick, silky hair. By this age, it’s incredibly long and Kags always brushes it and does it nicely before taking her to school, then off to work he goes.
His locksreen is definitely a picture of him and his daughter. It gets him through the day.
After picking up your child from school, you help her with homework since Kags won’t be home until later.
Sometimes, it really shocks you just how lucky the two of you got for having such a well behaved kid—super low maintenance, doesn’t really cause trouble. That is, until she starts missing her dad.
Yes, she is a hardcore daddy’s girl 💀
Usually, it’s around dinner time that she gets fussy because Kageyama will be waking through the door any minute and that minute canNOT pass soon enough. She’s more like you than you think.
“Hi sweetie,” you call out while you know for a fact he’s scooping up his little bean in his arms before coming to give you a kiss. Routine was nice that way.
The three of you go about your evening as per usual—having dinner together, you giving your little one a bath and Kageyama reading her to bed so that the two of you can cuddle up on the couch before turning in for the evening.
After he finishes reading, he joins you for your quiet time, seeing that you’re watching a movie and drinking a glass of wine. “I wanted to talk to you about...something.” He says stiffly. You quirk a brow at him after hitting pause, patiently waiting for him to continue. “How...how would you feel about having another one?”
“Another glass of wine? Hell yeah.”
“[name], no. Another kid.” Oh. Well, this is a shocking turn of events. Kageyama, the barely legal adult that initially had no idea whether or not was ready to be a father, wanted another child.
“Are you sure, Tobio?” Was all you responded with.
“Obviously, since I’m asking you,” there’s a twinge in his voice that you aren’t sure you’ve heard before. Not quite begging, per se. perhaps imploring was a better word for it? “I love our family and I just want it to keep growing.”
This was such a far cry from the man that Kageyama Tobio was six years ago when you first found out you were pregnant, and you would be lying if you said that his admission didn’t turn you on in the slightest.
“Well we’ve got some work to do then, buddy.”
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Hinata;
Hinata Shoyo finally got his wish. With his son, now 10, and daughter, now 8, your youngest daughter was nearing her terrible twos.
There was nothing more in the world that your newest baby loved more than daddy.
It was actually kind of irritating, actually, because if Shoyo wasn’t home, she would cry and throw temper tantrums until your husband walked through the door.
Shit, it even irritated your other two kids who, in order to avoid it all, would usually be at their friend’s houses doing homework and hanging out until they knew their dad would be home.
If only you were able to do the same.
The second that Sho walked through the door, every sound in the Hinata household ceases, as if your toddler wasn’t just screaming her lungs out moments ago.
“Hi, princess! Did you miss daddy today? I know I missed you a whole bunch!”
On god, he is such a good dad it hurts. He’s gotten even better since the addition of the youngest.
“Hi sweetheart,” you greet with a quick peck onto his lips. His daughter, and yes very specifically the almost two-year-old is his daughter, grunts in discomfort despite being held by dad. She doesn’t like the fact that you took dad’s attention away for a second. “Oh, quiet you.” You grumble at her.
“[name]! Be nice to angel!” You roll your eyes at him instead. As if you haven’t raised your last two kids, who were now walking in the door. “Come on, pumpkin, let’s go get some food in our bellies!”
Hinata places her in her high chair, obnoxiously making little airplane noises as he feeds her. Spoiled little brat.
“Mom,” your son starts cautiously, looking back and forth between his father and baby sister. “Was dad always like this?” He asks, referring to the overly enthusiastic train noises your husband was making.
“No, honey.”
“Okay, just making sure he hasn’t been a dork our entire lives.”
“Oh, that? Yeah.”
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Tsukishima;
It needs to be reiterated, you felt, that Tsukki is an amazing father.
Your oldest and Kei’s step-daughter, now 12, and your youngest daughter, now 7, would vehemently agree.
They never did actually grow out of the habit of calling him Tsukki, as opposed to dad. Though when speaking to other people, they both referred to him as their father.
It was quite endearing, actually. Your family was happy with the way things were, even if they were slightly unconventional.
Sunday mornings were family days—an adamant rule in the Tsukishima household. Kei would be in charge of making breakfast while you and the girls blasted some upbeat music while tidying up your rooms.
While Kei does not find Kesha and Lizzo to be “the classics” as you so put it while you cleaned, he did find it amusing to see all three Tsukishima women dancing and singing while cleaning.
Lowkey, it warmed his heart to know these were the three women of his life.
Kei is still the same protective dad he was even before having his own child—it only got worse when your oldest started showing an interest in the opposite gender.
Ya know how he wasn’t afraid to fight a toddler for his little girl? He’s definitely not afraid to fight some middle school punk.
Especially when your oldest comes home bawling her eyes out because she had decided to confess to the boy she liked and he had said he didn’t return feelings.
No matter how much you tried to console her, nothing you said seemed to work. It was dad’s turn.
Tsukki sits her down, his face as serious as ever, before adjusting his glasses to look at his step-daughter clearly. “Don’t tell mom that I said this, but boys ain’t shit.” 💀💀💀
“Ooooh, Tsukki said a bad word.” She joked in between her now calming tears.
“It’s true, though. Now come on, chin up. Princesses can’t have their heads down, their crowns will fall off.”
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Yamaguchi;
Despite the years of torture and struggle that was raising your twin hellions, Tadashi was kind of feeling a little empty now that the boys had grown into being more independent.
They were now seven-years-old, in sports, getting good grades—it’s like they were replaced with a different set of twins.
However, this also grants Tadashi the chance to actually step in and be a father, rather than letting those two run him ragged all day.
I see Yamaguchi being a slightly more strict parent, but loving nonetheless. Because the twins have always sort have been troublemakers, he’s strict on making sure the boys are home in time for dinner and that their schoolwork is done.
If they aren’t 💀💀💀
Honestly, your guys’ life though is just all around peaceful and a small part of you is longing for chaos.
So before the two of you head to sleep for the evening, your both just chilling in bed, maybe reading a book. Ya know, like 90s sitcom style.
“Hey Tadashi, can I ask you something?” That was never a good sign in his book, but he looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to proceed. “How would you feel if we had another kid?”
“Wait, are you pregnant?” You certainly didn’t miss the panic that filled his eyes. Oh. There’s your answer.
“No...I just...kinda miss holding a baby, ya know? Our boys are seven now, they don’t want mom anywhere near them and they think my hugs and kisses are gross.”
Ngl, it kinda hurts him to hear that because he knows it hurts you. All he wants to do his make you feel better.
“I mean, I’m not opposed I’m just—“
“Scared the next one is gonna turn out the same way?” He laughs at the fact that you know him so well. “Don’t get me wrong, I am too. But in the end, we raised them so well. I don’t think we’ll have anything to worry about.”
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Kyoutani;
The two of you never ceased to surprise anyone.
At first, it started with the two of you dating in your third years of high school, all the way through college (which, it shocked some that he in enrolled in university at all), to bringing your three-year-old son to the class of 2014 reunion.
Where did people even begin? The fact that you two had been dating for ten years or the fact that the two of you were parents?
It bothered you when people made assumptions about Kentarou.
Yes, he was cold and brash and a complete pain in your ass, but he was a damn good life partner and father.
Kyoutani wasn’t satisfied with anything if he wasn’t giving it his all—that includes his relationship with you and your guys’ son.
While he isn’t necessarily the most affectionate person, he always made sure his little family had everything they needed.
Yahaba is the first one to approach the three of you, surprised to see Kentarou holding his little one. “Holy shit, I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Language.” Your boyfriend bites out. A small laugh escapes your lips as you pat him on the back in reassurance as you give Yahaba a hug.
“Nice to see you too, Shigeru.” The former setter looks between the two of you, then looks at your son.
“It’s so scary to see your mini-me with his eyes.”
“Don’t be rude.” You chide him calmly, while Kyoutani feels his blood boil slightly. That sounded like an insult to him. Wordlessly, he hands over your son before squaring up with his former teammate. “Honey, please don’t start a fight.”
You were one of the few people to calm him down; a given considering your decade together.
Backing down, Kentarou retreats to your side, securing an arm around his waist and placing a chaste kiss in his sons hair. Knowing his mannerisms, you knew that was an apology to his child for losing his cool for a minute.
“Holy shit.” Yahaba repeats, stunned by the display of affection
“Language!” Your boyfriend snarls again through clenched teeth, making you laugh again. The three of you were far from perfect, but you had everything you needed.
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spaceskam · 4 years ago
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i’m a free spirit, that means free from you
i wrote a fic awhile ago about Michael exploring his sexuality. Now that it’s day 6 of @alexmanesappreciation (lost decade/missing scenes), it felt fitting for it to be Alex’s turn!
Warning: internalized homophobia and unhealthy relationships
ao3
.First Kiss.
“Oh, c’mon Alex, she likes you.”
Alex tried to smile as Kyle pestered him after they snuck out of their cabin and started wading through the woods. Summer camp was fine and all, but the longer he stayed there the higher the chances were that he was going to get in trouble. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to get in trouble for. It was just this stupid thing in his head that told him to be good, act normal, stop that.
They got louder every single time one of the other boys got too close to him when they were in their swim trunks.
“Yeah, but Katie? She’s not my type,” Alex said, mimicking what he’d heard his brother Greg say about the nice girl that was in the band at the high school. She made him cookies, wore a lot of stuff with skulls on them, and introduced him to a cool band called Blink-182. She stopped coming around after Greg told her she wasn’t his type.
“Type?” Kyle laughed, “She’s a girl! She’s got boobs!”
Alex tried to remind himself that he was supposed to like that even though he didn’t quite understand why.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Alex said, nodding. 
They reached the riverbank where the rest of their friends‒or, really, Kyle’s friends‒had congregated, sneaking out after the counselors had gone to their own party for the night. It was ten of them in total, five from the boys side of camp and five from the girls. Alex didn’t even want to sneak out, really scared of what would happen if someone found out, but Kyle had grabbed his arm and begged him and he just said yes.
“Let’s play truth or dare!” Katie said, making sure to look right at Alex as she said so. He instinctively looked to Kyle, hoping he would be on his side and say no.
“Oh, fuck yeah,” Kyle said, agreeing like the rest of the guys and girls. Alex was the only one who didn’t want to, but he couldn’t be the only one who didn’t want to. That’s how you get people to make fun of you.
So they all sat down and the game just started. Everyone was being dumb, daring dumb things that Alex thought were stupid. He was the only one that kept saying truth and, even then, they weren’t anything fun and then he couldn’t come up with anything good and it just wasn’t fun. He kept looking to Kyle, kept trying to signal to him that this wasn’t fun, but it didn’t seem to click.
“Alex, truth or dare,” Katie said, eyes on him. She was pretty, she was. She had pretty hair and a pretty face and... boobs or something. But every time she looked at him, he got a little nervous. 
“Truth,” he said again. Everyone immediately started complaining.
“You can’t keep saying truth!” Wyatt told him, “It’s no fun, you’re ruining the game.”
“Yeah, Alex, just say dare,” Kyle pressed. Alex glared at him for a second before sighing and slumping his shoulder. What could one dare do? Kyle had already drank river water.
“Fine,” he agreed, “Dare.”
“I dare you to kiss me,” Katie said. Everyone around them ooh’d and Alex felt straight up terrified for a moment. He was a kid, he was way too young to be kissing anyone. Thirteen was way too young, didn’t they know that. 
“In front of everybody?” Alex asked, voice cracking. She rolled her eyes dramatically. 
“No, silly,” she said and he almost sighed in relief. Almost. “In the woods.”
Another round of ooh’s surrounding him and making him feel like he had literally no fucking choice in the matter. He knew that if he tried to tell them he didn’t want to, they’d make fun of him. He knew if he asked for a different dare, they’d make fun of him. And, at the end of the day, it was just a kiss. Why not get the first one over with anyway?
Alex did what he was told and stood up. He and Katie went into the woods, just out of the line of sight of the rest, and then they just stood there. She was a little taller than he was and way too close, smiling at him as wide as she could.
“So...”
“So,” she said, “Kiss me.”
“I-I don’t really know how to,” he said. She rolled her eyes.
“It’s easy, you just do this with your lips,” Katie told him, pursing her lips and closing her eyes. And then she waited. Alex just stared at her for a minute until she opened her eyes and looked at him expectantly. “Alex, you gotta do it too.”
“Oh,” he said. And he did. And he kissed her.
It was quick and weird and he understood the whole kissing thing a billion times less than before. But when they separated, she was smiling so big and her face was red. Clearly she’d enjoyed it which had him lost even more. Did something happen that he missed? It just felt weird.
“You’re my boyfriend now, right?” she said. He blinked in confusion.
“Uh...”
“Yay!” Katie said, grabbing his hand and leading him back towards the group.
He wiped his mouth off on the back of his hand and started planning ways to avoid that ever happening again.
.First Crush.
Alex bit down on his thumb nail as he looked around the room, making sure no one would look over his shoulder.
Of course they wouldn’t, he knew that, it was a public library and no one cared, but still. His eyes swept around a couple more times before he realized the more he did that, the more suspicious he looked, so he might as well just do what he came here for.
He gulped harshly and, with shaky hands, clicked the internet icon. Quickly, he typed in how do you know if you’re gay in the search bar. It loaded too slow and it made him look around again as if his dad was going to come out of nowhere. He knew that wasn’t it. He was fifteen now, his dad did let him go to the library by himself. 
He scrolled through all the web pages, skimming the little summary but none of them answered his question. He just needed an answer, he needed someone to tell him. The more people around him called him gay, the less he felt like he understood it. How was he the one being called gay when they were the ones who compared their dicks in the locker room and he didn’t want to be apart of it? How was he the one being gay when he was the only one who looked away during that gross puberty class? How did watching the I Write Sins Not Tragedies music video more than once make someone gay? More importantly, what was so gay about having friends that were girls?
They all threw that word and none of them seemed to make sense. They never called him gay when he accidentally stared too long the first time he got in the locker room with the seniors. They never called him gay when he forgot how to breathe every time Mr. Edwards bent over to pick up a pencil. They never called him gay when he was really interested in watching wrestling. How was he supposed to know when everything seemed so disjointed?
Alex scrolled a little more and saw a link to something labeled ‘Am I Gay? Quiz 100% Accurate’ and, well, he couldn’t help himself.
 Question #1: What do you consider yourself? Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Other
He stared at it with furrowed eyebrows, the cursor hovering over each option maybe a little longer than he should’ve. He eventually settled on straight. He had kissed girls and had girlfriends before even if it wasn’t great, it was still what he’d been doing. That was straight. 
Question #2: In the locker room, did you ever peek over at another guy? Yes seize the opportunity, Yes but out of curiosity, No gross, No but I wanted to
Alex swallowed hard, his stomach churning. The mouse hovered over the first option. But was it like that though? Yes, he had looked, but he wasn’t trying to be gross or anything. He didn’t want to make anyone feel bad. He quickly selected the second option instead.
Question #3: You’re in a relationship with a girl, but you discover that there is a guy who likes you. What do you do? Stay with the girl because you like her, stay with the girl because you feel like you should, never go out with a girl in the first place, break up with the girl for the guy
That one at least felt obvious. Of course he would stay with the girl. What kind of person just breaks up with someone because someone else likes them? That’s just mean. He chose the second option instead of the first and decided not to think too hard about why.
Question #4: Would you ever cheat on a girl with a... girl, guy, I wouldn’t cheat
He smiled at the second no-brainer in a row. He would never cheat. He wasn’t an asshole. 
Question #5: Why are you taking this quiz? I’m bored, I’m confused, I’m gay
Alex stared at it longer than he should’ve. Why was he taking this quiz? Shouldn’t he know these things? It shouldn’t be hard. He should know who he was sexually attracted to, right? He should know. But it wasn’t that fucking easy. He’d met girls who were pretty. Did he want to sleep with them? No, but he hadn’t really met any guys in person that he wanted to sleep with either. It was too much, too confusing.
So, he clicked that he was confusing.
The loading bar stayed on the screen for way too long, but, sure enough, a screen popped up that he was, in fact, straight just a little confused. Which was apparently normal. Alex leaned back, nodding to himself. He was normal.
Alex exited out of the browser and got up, pulling out his iPod from his pocket. He put his headphones over his ears and waved to the nice librarian as he left before pressing play. He felt good, normal, as he walked in time to the MCR song that flooded through his ears towards Bean Me Up. He’d taken a test and even it said he was fine. He’d be fine.
He ordered a coffee and walked to the other side of the counter to wait, leaning against the wall. A smile easily found his face as Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco started flooding into his ears. He found it impossible not to smile when he heard Brendon Urie’s voice. How was someone that fucking talented?
Then everything slowed down as someone appeared outside the window.
The seductive singing only seemed to set the stage as Marcus Lopez, current quarterback at Roswell High, slowed to a stop, breathing heavy and sweating with his workout gear clinging to his brown skin that literally was glowing under the sun. Alex couldn’t fucking breathe as he pulled his shirt up and over his head and used it to wipe his face dry, exposing his toned stomach and flexing his biceps. He pulled a water bottle out of nowhere and poured it into his mouth, some of the water missing and sliding over each crevice of his body. 
Oh.
Oh.
.First Boyfriend.
“What are you playing?”
Alex looked over to the doorway to see Elijah Thibodaux staring at him. He was the senior boy who got the lead in every school musical and every solo in choir. He was talented and every girl in theatre and choir was obsessed with him. Alex, however, kept his appreciation to himself.
“Oh, uh, I wrote it,” Alex admitted, shyly looking back to his guitar. He tried to keep playing so he’d come off as cool, but he was feeling a little flustered. Boys didn’t really talk to him if they could help it and this one boy was not only talking to him, but he was super cute. 
“Musetta’s Waltz.”
“Huh?” Alex asked. Elijah smiled at him and walked further into the music room, straddling the chair beside him.
“That’s Musetta’s Waltz,” Elijah told him, “Not an original.”
Alex stopped playing, embarrassment filling his system. Leave to him to fuck it up the minute he tried to be cool. Elijah just laughed it off though, scooting closer. Alex tried not to seize up as his hand touched his back. Why was a suave senior touching him? What the fuck was that supposed to be mean?
Elijah’s hand slid up to Alex’s shoulder and he looked over at him.
“Go on, play something for me,” Elijah told him, looking at him with those obscenely green eyes and batting those long eyelashes against his pale cheeks. Alex swallowed hard and nodded, looking back down to his guitar. Instinct took over and Alex slowly started strumming the chords to Wonderwall. Elijah moved his hand up to his jaw. “You’re really good.”
“Thank you,” Alex said, looking over at him and trying to remember how to breathe. His strumming got a little sloppy, but it didn’t seem to matter. Elijah just leaned in close, smiling and his eyes flickering down to his lips and back up again. Alex didn’t have time to even process it before he was being kissed.
Alex stared with wide eyes as Elijah pulled away, struggling to comprehend what the hell just happened. It didn’t make any sense. Elijah was gorgeous and desired and Alex was… What?
“You just kissed me,” Alex said blankly. Elijah grinned.
“Yeah.” And then he did it again.
Alex melted at the attention. It was the first time a boy had ever given him so much attention. He had no idea what to even do with it. 
After that, Alex slowly found himself at Elijah’s beck and call. They would make out behind the bleachers and late at night after sneaking out. Elijah flooded him with compliments and only persuaded him a little to send raunchy pictures or do things he wasn’t quite sure about. But it was fine because he was his boyfriend. That’s what you did with boyfriends.
They carried on like that for a few months, all of it secret. Alex wanted to tell Maria and Liz about him a few times, but Elijah said it was a bad idea and he knew it. He loved them but he wasn’t sure they’d be able to keep it a complete secret. And no one could find out about Elijah and him because of his dad.
But it was a couple nights before the spring choir concert when Alex started hearing things about Elijah having a girlfriend. That didn’t make sense to Alex and he was sure it wasn’t real. People must’ve gotten things confused. Elijah was close to a lot of girls, it was bound to happen. Elijah was Alex’s boyfriend. No one else’s. But, still, Alex found himself a little more willing to send more explicit pictures for a couple days just to make sure he still held his attention.
Which didn’t stop him from walking down the hall, hand in hand with a girl on the day of the spring choir concert.
Alex didn’t know how to deal with the pain that flooded his system at the sight. He got irrationally upset and wanted to confront him right there, but he decided to wait. He waited until lunch time and they met up at their usual spot behind the bleachers. That’s where they would kiss and talk and do boyfriend things.
“I saw you with that girl,” Alex said boldly as Elijah went to greet him with a kiss. He had the audacity to be confused and, when he realized Alex was serious, he rolled his eyes. “Are you cheating on me?”
“Look, it’s not that big of a deal. I started talking to Cassie way before I even started talking to you,” Elijah told him. The way he said it made it sound like it made it less mean. It didn’t stop Alex’s heart from breaking. “It’s not the same.”
“What do you mean it’s not the same? You’re cheating on me!”
Elijah sighed, “Don’t be dramatic, it’s not cheating.”
“Then what do you call it?”
“Alex, it doesn’t even count. I mean, you’re a guy.”
Alex blinked and swallowed harshly, trying to follow his train of thought. It counted for him. It really, really counted for him. That wasn’t fair.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” Alex said softly. Elijah scoffed.
“Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that.”
“No, ‘cause it counts for me. It’s cheating.”
Alex was proud of himself for being man enough to walk away.
Less proud of himself for taking all the way up until Elijah graduated two months later before he stopped answering every time he called.
.First Love.
“You trust me?”
“Um, yes.”
“Then c’mon.”
Alex bit down on his bottom lip as he caved and jumped into the passenger seat of Michael’s truck. They were newly graduated, fresh adults, and everyone was supposed to be going to graduation parties. Of course, Liz wasn’t around anymore and Alex was finding it hard to celebrate when Rosa was dead.
But he still told his dad he was going to one which meant he could sneak off with Michael.
Part of him felt a little guilty for allowing himself even a shred of happiness, but then all he had to do was look at Michael’s fucked hand and he realized nothing really mattered. Soon, he’d be off to basic and he’d have to leave Michael behind. He was going to steal all the happiness he could.
Michael draped his arm around Alex’s shoulders as he drove out to the middle of nowhere and Alex leaned into his side. His head hit his shoulder and his eyes closed, soaking up the closeness of, well, him. He smelled like motor oil since he drove straight from work to graduation. Alex didn’t mind. In fact, he was pretty sure he would miss that smell when he was gone.
Alex tilted his head back to press a kiss to his neck and, from the corner of his eye, saw Michael smile. He had such a gorgeous smile. He was just gorgeous in general with his big, expressive eyes and sunburnt cheeks. Beautiful, kind, caring, what more could someone ask for in a boyfriend?
The truck pulled to a stop in the middle of the desert, far away from where anyone could stumble upon them, much less find them on purpose. It was a comforting thought.
The two of them climbed into the bed of the truck and laid out his sleeping bags to give them some sort of cushion before they laid down. Alex laid directly in his arms and Michael responded with a sweet little hum as they got comfortable.
“So, what’s next?” Alex asked, “What’s your plan?”
“I don’t know. Fix up cars, work on ranches, save up money.”
“What happened to UNM?”
Michael was quiet for a moment before he exhaled heavily for a solid ten seconds. Alex tilted his head up to see that he very clearly hadn’t anticipated this conversation. Which was valid. But Alex knew they had limited time together. He wanted to make sure Michael was going to do something good with that big brain of his.
“I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Michael admitted, “Too big of a change all at once.”
Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “How? Everything’s gonna change already.”
“Yeah, but… At least staying here I have Max and Isobel,” Michael said. Alex lifted his head to meet his eyes. Michael was visibly sad, but he was trying to hide it. He sucked at hiding it. “I don’t know, I’m just not ready.”
“But you’re so smart. What happened to ag? You’ve been wanting to do that since I met you,” Alex pointed out. Michael forced a flirtatious little smile.
“Well, who’s gonna cheer me on when you’re gone?” he teased. But Alex didn’t find it funny.
“Guerin, don’t base your future around me. As much as I would love to be there with you every step of the way, you need to think about it for real. You could be something great, don’t bury yourself in me,” Alex told him, watching his smile fade. It was replaced by a sad bit of understanding.
“I know. I’m just gonna miss you,” he said.
“I’m gonna miss you too,” Alex agreed. 
Michael stared at him for a moment before looking away and up towards the sky, no longer making eye contact as he steadied his breathing. Alex knew he didn’t like talking about the future or the fact that Alex was leaving or the idea of growing up. For someone who had no real sense of stability, he hated any type of change. It was confusing and Alex didn’t know how to make him understand that he just wanted what was best for him.
Then it dawned on him that maybe that’s what love really was.
“Hey,” Alex said, gently laying his palm on Michael’s cheek and guiding his sight back to him, “I know it’s going to be weird after I leave and I still want you to do something good with your brain,  but this isn’t forever. I’m coming home. I don’t know when or, or who I’ll be when I do, but I’m gonna come home to you. I promise.”
And that seemed to be good enough for Michael. At least for that night.
.First ‘I Love You’.
“Like it fuckin’ matters? No one in our crew is a queer anyways.”
Alex forced a laugh and focused on his food. As of this morning, DADT was finally gone. Part of him thought he’d feel safer once it was, but he didn’t. The threat was still there. Now he just didn’t have a whole law to keep his self esteem from eating away at itself.
He wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he was here, he was queer, and if anyone had a problem with it, he would show them up. But then people that he hung out with every day, his friends, said things that scared the shit out of him. He knew that, if he came out, they probably wouldn’t actually care and would only require a little bit of reform, but the word probably still kept him in his cage.
“Manes!” Alex lifted his head to Col. Monroe, the man looking slightly more irritated than usual. “Do I need to send you to go hunt down Lawrence or is he on his way? I need to have a talk with him.”
A talk. Alex’s stomach dropped, but he didn’t let it show. Instead, he stood to his feet.
“I’ll go find him, Sir.”
“Good man.”
Alex discarded his tray quickly and headed to Jay’s place on base. His heart was thudding in his chest and slowly began to think this was probably on purpose. Jay Lawrence was a very reckless man and if almost pissing off someone high ranking was what it took to get Alex alone, well, he didn’t put it past him. 
Alex knocked on the door and it opened almost immediately. Jay stood at attention just to be safe, his toned body barely restrained by his almost-too-small uniform when he flexed, but he gave a sneaky little smile once he saw Alex. Then he pulled him inside. Once the door was closed, Alex was being kissed so senseless that it took him a moment to forget why he even came in the first place. 
He grabbed Jay’s elbows, breathing him in as he reluctantly pulled away. When he opened his eyes, Jay was just staring at him like he was the best thing to grace the Earth and it was easy to feel flustered by that. Alex wasn’t stupid, he knew Jay liked him more than he liked Jay. But Alex admittedly liked the attention and he definitely liked not feeling so alone, so he said nothing.
“DADT is fucking gone, A,” he said, a weight very clearly thrown off his shoulders, “Like officially. No rumors of it being gone, no vague date, no waiting. It’s gone. We, we could be something for real.”
Alex rubbed his thumb over his forearm, smiling slightly. He was younger than Alex, not by much but by enough. He had a family who loved him, who he was out to and who didn’t mind. They all agreed to keep hush so he could serve his country though. He was so pure and kind. He was way too good for Alex.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Alex teased lightly, sliding his hand up to the side of his neck. He’d never been with a man who was so dark that it made him look so pale in comparison before, but, like always, he found it hard to stop staring. They looked good together, objectively, aesthetically. They could be so good. “People still don’t like it. They were bitching about it in the DFAC.”
“Fuck them, what are they gonna do?” Jay asked, stepping in close again to go for another kiss. Reluctantly, Alex dodged it.
“Monroe sent me to find you. Said he wants to talk to you,” Alex told him. His smile faded just a little.
“Okay, then I’ll go, but don’t change the subject,” Jay said, moving his hands to his hips, “C’mon, let’s talk about it. When can we make it public? Or, just, like stop trying so hard to hide?”
Alex stared at him, trying to find a way to say never. If it got back to his father that he was seeing someone in the Air Force, Jay would be so fucked. His career, his life, his entire self would never be the same if his father had a say. That was difficult to explain, especially to someone who had never met the man. But Alex heard it loud and clear when he first met the General and he said, “Manes? I served with your grandpa. Good man.”
He could never be safe and queer here.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially not here, not now,” Alex said softly. Jay’s smile dropped and Alex’s heart ached in its wake.
“A,” Jay said, shaking his head, “You said once DADT was gone, we could‒”
“The stigma is still there. We’ll still be targeted and I don’t want that for you, for either of us.”
“Fuck them!”
“That’s not how this works,” Alex said calmly, “These are people we have to fight beside, you can’t make them hate who you are and you can’t not care what they think.”
“I love you,” Jay said desperately, trying to get him to understand how much he didn’t care about anything else. Alex felt his mouth go dry and his eyes widened. “Look, if it’s that bad, let’s leave when our contract is up. I wanna be with you more than I want to be some fucking war hero.” 
“I…” Alex said, clearing his throat as he took a step back, “I’m not leaving the Air Force. I’m not coming out. I’m sorry.”
“Are you serious, right now?” Jay demanded. The hurt was clear on his face and Alex felt so fucking bad. But it wasn’t an option. “So what was all that shit you told me, huh? Just stuff to keep me around so your dick had something better than your hand?”
Alex didn’t know what to say, so instead he said nothing. Jay shook his head and sniffled and suggested that he leave. So Alex left.
The Colonel ended up telling Jay that his sister, a strong willed woman slowly climbing the ranks in the army, had committed suicide. He left after his term was up.
Alex thought about him more than he would ever admit. 
.First Pride.
 “Do you think I look too gay?”
“I am going to destroy that thought process one day. One day.”
Alex rolled his eyes, but Forrest grinned over his shoulder and dragged his hands over his hips and it was hard to be annoyed. Forrest was kind and supportive and brought a side of Alex out that he thought had been long buried. It made him feel a little bit better, a little bit stronger. Something was still missing, but he wasn’t scared anymore.
“But to answer your question, no, you don’t look ‘too gay’. Whatever that means,” Forrest said, “Even if you did, we’re literally going to a pride party so it doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t want your friends to think I’m weird.”
“Alex, all of my friends are queer. All of them. You will be the only straight-passing one there.”
“Straight-passing? That’s a thing?”
“You have so much to learn.”
Alex rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. Forrest just pressed a kiss to his neck before putting his hands on his shoulders, trying to massage out the tension. Alex didn’t think it would work. He was nervous to be so… out there. Sure, he kissed Forrest in the Wild Pony, but that was different. He was high on adrenaline. This was real and prolonged.
This was going to a gay bar with a man on his arm.
He spent a lot of time trying to decipher what exactly out was for him. Was it screaming from the rooftops or was it just being comfortable in his skin? He still wasn’t quite sure. For right now, though, he could try screaming from the rooftops. Forrest seemed to like it and, well, it was better than hiding.
As they made their way towards Planet 7, Alex felt himself get even more anxious. He was so fucking terrified that he was going to do something wrong, that he was going to embarrass himself. He still was trying to comprehend the difference between being too gay and not gay enoguh, where he fit on that scale, if it mattered. 
Forrest said it didn’t matter, but then he would start talking about shit Alex had never even heard of and he suddenly felt like he was bad at being queer. There were so many words he didn’t know, so much he had to learn about not only being a gay man, but the other people who were LGBT+ and the history behind it. It was almost overwhelming. Fascinating, though.
“Hey,” Forrest said as he walked up to a table. It was four of Forrest’s friends, all having colorful hair and having pride-themed makeup. Alex tried not to feel so out of place or envious. He had a feeling that if he met people like this back in high school, he would’ve become someone a lot different. It was hard being the only punk one in Roswell. 
“This must be the boyfriend,” one of Forrest’s friends said. Alex gave a smile and shrugged as Forrest led him to sit beside him at the table. “I’m Em, I use they/them pronouns.”
“I’m Casey, Em’s girlfriend, I use she/they.”
“Ryan, he/him.”
“And I’m Sophie and I use ‘em all.”
Alex hesitantly looked over Forrest for guidance. He just gave an encouraging smile and nodded towards them as if he didn’t feel out of place as it was. But he was willing to try.
“I’m Alex, I use he/him, I guess,” he said. He felt like he was back in basic, starting from scratch on how to interact with people. He didn’t wanna fuck up.
“I may have told them you needed a solid introduction of everyone,” Forrest laughed. Alex tried to laugh a little too and definitely did a lot better once he got some alcohol in his system.
For the next couple hours, Alex mainly listened to them talk, but he wasn’t bored. It was a nice change of pace. No aliens or government conspiracies. Instead, they spoke of politics and movies and books and people. They invited Alex to go with them the next weeked when they planned to give supplies to homeless people (something they did regularly) and tend to the community garden they’d started to supply people who needed it with free food. They didn’t seem to mind that he was learning the proper language or the way to act, they welcomed him with open arms because he was trying to learn. It made it so much easier to relax.
But then Isobel and Michael walked in.
They didn’t approach him, but they waved and he waved back. After a few too many minutes of wondering how the hell Isobel got Michael here, Alex offered to go buy the next round of drinks. He went to stand by them as he did so.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Isobel teased. Alex gave her a warm smile and then did the same to Michael. He looked a little tired, but he was able to smile back easily. 
“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” Alex said before ordering the drinks, “Shocked you got Guerin all the way out here.”
“I’m trying something new,” Michael said. Alex nodded.
“I feel that. So am I.”
“How does it feel to be out? I’m loving it,” Isobel said. Alex snorted.
“I know you are,” he said, “But it looks good on you, all the confidence and ‘fuck you’ attitude. Suits you.”
“Speaking of, I’m going to go work on getting laid,” Isobel sighed happily, turning on her seat and heading to where people were congregating and celebrating most. And then there were two. 
“What about you?” Michael asked.
“Hmm?”
“You said all the being out looks good on Isobel. What about yourself?” Michael said, staring at him like he really wanted an answer. Alex licked his lips and thought about it, looking over to where Forrest and his friends were laughing.
“I don’t think I know yet,” Alex admitted, “I’m still trying to figure out what that even means to me, you know? Like Isobel and Forrest, they like that it’s known from the moment someone sees them. And it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just…”
“Invasive,” Michael noted. Alex nodded.
“Yeah. But it’s better than hiding, so I think it’s good for me.”
“I’m happy for you,” Michael told him and he sounded sincere even as he sipped his virgin daiquiri. Alex smiled.
“Thank you.”
Alex took the drinks back to the table and fit himself back into the conversation. Another couple hours went by before it was nearing its way towards midnight and they decided it was time to go home. They said their goodbyes and nice-to-meet-yous before going their separate ways.
“You were uncomfortable.”
“Huh?”
Alex turned to Forrest who had happily agreed to stay sober to drive while Alex drank to release the tension. The night sky was full of stars and the moon was full and Forrest was smiling, but it didn’t make sense with his words.
“Tonight. Being there made you uncomfortable. Was it the crowd? The rainbows? Just overwhelming in general? Talk to me,” Forrest pressed. Alex licked his lips and shifted in his seat.
“I-I think I’m more of a private person, I guess,” he tried, hoping his words didn’t come off as offensive, “It’s nice being out and proud, but… I guess I still don’t feel like me.”
“You know there’s a middle ground, right?” Forrest said. Alex gave him his full attention, eager to hear about what that might look like. “It’s your business, Alex. Not showing it always doesn’t mean you’re hiding.”
“I guess.”
“Some people that’s who they are, you know? It’s not a bad thing, it’s just who they are, it’s who I am. Our personalities are loud and that part of us shines through. You don’t have to force yourself to be bigger than you are to be queer enough. As long as you feel like yourself then it doesn’t fucking matter,” Forrest said. Alex gave him a confused smile.
“But I thought you said‒”
“Well, maybe I was wrong,” Forrest admitted. Alex relaxed more than he had in awhile. “That was before I got to know you and your past and before I understood that being private didn’t mean you were ashamed. I don’t want you forcing yourself to be someone you’re not for me. You can be Alex Manes, war hero who happens to be gay. You don’t have to be Alex Manes, gay war hero.”
Alex closed his eyes and smiled to himself, feeling better than he had in a long time.
Maybe he could just be him.
.Forever.
“Holy fuck, what did you take?”
“Um, antidepressants?”
A shocked laugh bubbled out of Michael and Alex smiled in response, propping his head up on his hand as he stared at the man he was going to spend his life with. He was all laid out after what honestly could’ve been two hours of fucking outside‒Alex wasn’t sure, he wasn’t really focused on the clock‒and he was in a blissful, sweaty daze. It was one of Alex’s many favorite sights.
After about a year of living in town together and talking about what they wanted to do, the two of them made the unanimous decision to fully renovate Jim Valenti’s hunting cabin and make that their permanent residence. Sure, the drive was a pain, but everything else made it worth it. They had all the privacy in the world to do things like fuck on the daybed Isobel insisted putting on their back porch the minute they mentioned building a pool.
“Aren’t antidepressants supposed to make you less sexually active or something?” Michael asked, slowly regaining his strength and using it to reach for Alex.
“I mean, it’s a common side effect, but I’ve only had that problem a couple times,” Alex admitted, sinking back into the daybed to press a kiss to his sweaty chest. Michael wrapped his arms around him and Alex found himself smiling even wider.
If someone had told him five years ago that he would be happily engaged to Michael Guerin, he would’ve laughed. He never saw himself being in a place where he felt comfortable enough to be in a loving, committed, serious relationship. Every other time, it was so easy to hide‒whether that be hiding in himself or from himself. Michael was the only one who seemed to be on the same wavelength.
It just took him awhile to get there.
“God, I fucking love you,” Michael groaned, squeezing him so tight that Alex couldn’t help but smile so wide it hurt his cheeks. He accepted the kisses that doused his face. 
“I love you too.”
Alex tilted his head up to meet him in a kiss, one leading to another until they were slipping into a lazy makeout session. They would eventually have to get up, clean off, get dress, act like useful members of society, but wasn’t it so much fun to do nothing but enjoy each other?
They were over 30. They’d wasted their 20s being confused and lost and sad and now they were grown ass men and they’d both refused to waste their lives being so miserable. A little bit of therapy and self-inspection had made it clear they just needed to work a bit harder to make that possible. Apparently, they had very similar hangups.
So they adjusted to make things work. Michael assured Alex that he was enough all the time, doting on him in a way that Alex craved and needed so he wouldn’t second guess himself. Alex made sure to always keep Michael in the loop even if it felt stupid, a small but difficult change to make sure Michael never felt like he was going to be left behind. They always let each other know where they were, who they were with, what they were doing. It wasn’t about control, it was about comfort. They’d gone too many years not knowing. It was so much easier to know.
“I was thinkin’ about our wedding,” Michael whispered, breaking the endless string of kisses. Alex smiled at the word. He never in a million year saw himself getting married. But, damn, might as well. “What if we did it in that big church in the middle of Roswell?”
“You wanna get married in a church?” Alex laughed. Michael ran his hand over his chest.
“I mean, not really, but I think it’d be super fucking funny. Besides, wouldn’t that make us the first queer couple to get married inside Roswell lines? That’d be fuckin’ hilarious.”
“Oh, you want our wedding to be funny?”
“I mean, yeah,” Michael admitted. Alex laughed softly and shook his head. “I know you don’t like big stuff like that, but c’mon. We could laugh about it with our grandchildren.”
Alex smiled even bigger and pushed himself up to give him another kiss. Wedding, grandchildren, fiance. He got to use those words all for himself. Wasn’t that wild?
“Okay, let’s do it. Our wedding pictures can have us flipping off everyone.”
“See?” Michael said, “You get it.”
A few more kisses later, they eventually decided to be grownups and they pulled themselves to their feet to go inside and clean up, make dinner, take care of themselves. Everything felt so easy. Sure, bad days came still and arguments still happened, but Alex was happy.
It turns out, while his goal had always been to just be able to relax, the real happy ending was freedom.
And, with Michael, he was free.
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seiin-translations · 4 years ago
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2.43 S1 Chapter 2.3 - Dracula and Princess Briar Rose
3. GIRL’S MIND
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Seiin High School was located on a slope at the foot of a mountain, and it took twenty minutes to walk there from the shopping district in front of Nanafu Station. That was why the height difference between the school building and other facilities was so severe. The mountain behind the school building was flattened, and the first sports ground and the slightly narrower second sports ground were arranged like terraced fields, and the outdoors court was on the slope that ran beside those two grounds. That slope was about a hundred meters long, and it was the perfect course for hill running.
The dirt road, which had absorbed the sweat and curses and vomit from thousands of athletes since founding and was trampled down firmly by them, was bone dry from being exposed to the scorching September sun. The regulars were holding game-centered finishing practice for the Spring Inter-High volleyball qualifiers coming up later this month, so during that time, we first-years were assigned to do basic strength training. Our second-year senpais who weren’t on the bench were in charge of it, but these second-years were far stricter than the third-year captains.
“Ayano! Who said you can rest!? Get up and run!”
Our senpais’ angry voice flew at Ayano, who was sitting down halfway up the slope. Somehow, she managed to get up and unsteadily meandering up to where we were, before covering her mouth with an “Urp” and sinking down again. Without giving Ayano time to rest, they scolded, “If everyone’s here, then go down now!” We didn’t even have the energy to complain and came down the slope with our faces hanging down like exhausted slaves. Ayano, standing up while wheezing, was on the verge of tears. Ah, she might throw up… When I saw that, I felt like I was about to puke too, so I decided to not to look back at her.
I didn’t have it in me to reach out my hand today. In terms of physical strength, I was just as exhausted as Ayano, but it was just that I refused to sit down out of pride. I felt gross. My hips felt heavy. Sometimes my vision would suddenly go red and black. I think…that is coming. It was supposed to be still around four days away, so I got careless. Once I became possessed by that thought, I couldn’t stop worrying about the inside of my underwear. How many more times did I have to go up? Do I wait until club activities were finished? What would I do if I run to the washrooms right after and it really comes?
…It was no good. I had to tell them.
“Senpai…”
I called out to my senpais in a fidgety whisper, which was startling for me. Though it shouldn’t be something embarrassing because I saw other girls coming forward about it from time to time, I had to muster up all my mental strength to broach that topic.
⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆
When I told them, I was unexpectedly readily allowed to leave for a short period. Apparently I looked sicker than I felt. Because I, who never whined like Ayano did, told them about it with a ghastly pale face, and it actually made my senpais panic instead.
I was strangely embarrassed about that certain time of the month that every girl had, and even in places where there were only girls, I was afraid to talk about it. Being afflicted with heavy menstrual pains didn’t suit a masculine girl like me if I do say so myself, and I felt like if people knew, they would judge me or be put off.
“Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan.” —I felt like I was letting that kid down, the one who determined my character with an innocent smile. They would probably be picturesque when they fell asleep with menstrual cramps because they were so small, dainty, and fragile.
My motto was to stand up straight and walk with big steps, but I was currently slouching slightly and my stride naturally narrowed. While praying that I didn’t run into anyone, I hurried to the club room building. I was able to get out of club activities, but my crisis hadn’t actually gone away. I recalled not bringing my pouch with me because I didn’t think it was coming yet.
It would be bad if I just rummaged through Ayano’s backpack without asking her…I don’t want to go back now and ask her either…What should I do, what should I do…
There were several boys taking a break in front of the drinking fountain of the club room building. Crap, this was bad timing… I straightened my spine that was bending forward and casually walked past their backs. As I began to walk up the stairs, feeling gravity pulling at my hips ten times more than usual, I ended up slouching again, and right then,
“Suemori Ibara-saaaan. Please show us your panties again today!”
Hearing jeering voices from below, my hands immediately went to my butt. Four or five boys with stupid grins on their faces were looking up at me on the stairs, forming a weird cluster like giving each other neck locks. Were these the same idiots who told Ayano to show her panties last week?
Should I try to run upstairs and escape to the club room? But turning one’s back to the enemy is out of the question! Or should I run down and try to bring down divine punishment to these middle school-looking stupid boys—my head didn’t know what to do, so my body was at a loss, and my left and right feet twisted in a weird way and I ended up missing a step. My legs opened wide and one leg plunged through the gap between the steps, hitting the inside of my thigh hard. This impossible dullness from Suemori Ibara of all people!
“Woah ho, Suemori’s so lame!”
The boys laughed, but they too were indeed a bit flustered. The shame was more unbearable than the pain, and tears welled up in my eyes. The pain of a bruise was nothing compared to the shameful sight of spreading your legs above boys’ heads on the day your period arrived.
And then, someone from behind grabbed me by my arms and pulled me up.
“…Are you alright, Ibara-chan?”
A somewhat gloomy voice came down. The first thing I saw as I craned my neck, half suspended in midair, was red lips and a thin chin, so close that I panicked and pulled my face away.
Kanno, with a sports towel covering his head, was looking down at me worriedly.
“Don’t, don’t touch me!”
I pushed Kanno away without thinking and clung to the railing of the stairs. Kanno awkwardly withdrew his hands, which had lost their place, and apologized as usual. “I’m sorry…” It seemed like I had refused to let him help me up, but I simply didn’t want my body to be touched by Kanno right now… The stupid boys were still looking up at me from below the railing, so I squeezed my throbbing thighs together.
“Oh, okay…Ibara-chan.”
Right after Kanno looked like realized something, he pushed me to the back and stepped forward. My body, which had been hidden in the shade of the eaves, was now exposed to the sun, and I almost shouted, “Ah!” Right at that moment…
Bang!!
A metallic roar pierced my eardrums. My heart shrank, and the sounds that were about to come out of my mouth and the tears that had welled up in my eyes receded.
Kanno had kicked the railing. The towel had fallen, exposing his pale face.
As the shaking of the metal lasted faintly…
“Sorry, but please don’t tease people too much.”
That was said by a voice so meek and subdued that it made you wonder what was that outburst right before. It was directed at the boys who had stiffened in a mass below the stairs and were openmouthed, probably having braced themselves for an angry voice.
“Ibara-chan, come here.”
As though nothing happened, he dejectedly went into the shadows of the eaves again, called out to me and climbed up the stairs. I was rooted on the spot from amazement, but Kanno beckoned to me with his hands behind his back with a “Hey” and I crab-walked up the stairs, mindful of my bottom. Kanno went straight past the girls’ volleyball room that was second from the front and nimbly passed through the outside passageway that was already narrow but crowded by the junk overflowing from each room.
Relegated to the very end of the second floor, in a spot where it was a hassle to get in and out of, was the boys’ volleyball club room. This was just my own impression, but aura of losers was leaking out from the door gap.
“No one’s here right now, so feel free to come in. I just came here to get my stopwatch because I forgot it.”
Kanno said, opening the door and going in. There was no way I could just walk into the boys’ club room and say “Pardon the intrusion” if I was told “Feel free to come in.” As soon as I cautiously peeked in from the door, an indescribable smell of sweat hit me. It was completely different from the scent of the girls’ room I was used to smelling. It wasn’t mixed in with artificial smells like antiperspirant spray, just the smell of bare sweat. It couldn’t be called neat and tidy by any standard, with equipment, personal belongings and trash lying around, but I wondered if it was because we had three times the number of members that it looked emptier than the girls’ volleyball club room. Or, maybe it was simply because girls had more stuff.
Kanno opened the door of one of the lockers, rummaged around, found something and handed it over to me. It was a rectangular object with a short edge of about ten centimeters and long edge of about twenty centimeters, with a colored plastic bag wrapped around it. Its shape, size, and tight packaging, as well as the drugstore logo printed on the bag. A girl would recognize what it was right away, but—why was it coming out of Kanno’s locker!?
“C’mon, take it.”
Kanno said in a muffled voice, sticking his head halfway into his locker. Vividly reminded of a vampire who felt safe being in his own coffin, the picture was strangely familiar.
“And please close that door when you’re done. People will think I’m a pervert if they see this, so…”
“No, you’re enough of a pervert already…?”
Kanno awkwardly tossed it at me, like he was unable to bear its weight, and I had no choice but to yelp and catch the thing that flew. Hmm, there was no mistake about it, this feeling and lightness. There were probably about twenty-four inside to use for many days.
“I didn’t have it because I wanted to have it. I was sent to buy it before…They were probably betting on something, but when I came back, the guys who ordered me to do it were getting yelled at by a third-year and it ended there, then I wondered what I should do with these… I couldn’t have anyone see me have them, I couldn’t throw them away, and if I brought them home, my mom would probably faint.”
“They even made you do that…? When was that? Why didn’t you tell me? I did warn them to stop it.”
“I guess June…? I know you aren’t very good at talking about things like this, Ibara-chan, so I thought it would embarrass you if I talked about it…” June meant that Kanno had this in his locker for three months.
“So, please, use this.”
Kanno said, poking a third of his face out from the other side of his locker. Oh, I’m saved. For a moment, I was simply grateful, but——
I belatedly realized what this offer meant, and my face instantly turned hot.
“Wait, h-how did you kn…you, you really are a pervert…”
“I am not a pervert. It’s unfortunate. It’s rather obvious when you see it, you know? I’ve been practicing with girls since middle school… Don’t girls feel tired and look sick?”
“Yeah, but even other girls don’t know.”
“Huh? Really? But even when I’m there, they say things like, ‘Do you have that today?’… You always look like you’re in pain from the twentieth to the twenty-third…Wait, today’s still the sixteenth.”
“Just wait a minute and be quiet. How did you grasp my…you know…”
The important words wouldn’t pass through my throat, and I turned bright red, my chin wobbling. For me, it was a disgusting, taboo word to even say, something that would force me to transform into an unclean creature I didn’t want to be.
“That’s because I’m always watching you, Ibara-chan…”
“So you’re a stalker, creep!”
“No, you have it all wrong! Don’t call me a creep.”
When I cursed at him unthinkingly, Kanno hurriedly added to what he said with a hurt look on his face.
“I’ve always been your fan, that’s what I meant by always watching you…ah, it does sound kinda stalkerish, but I’m not…um…Ibara-chan, you always saved me, and that’s why I’m here in the girls’ club. If you weren’t here, I would have quit a long time ago, and I might have even quit school…My parents are just overjoyed that I’m going to high school, but they’re shocked that I’m joining the volleyball team again, and that’s all thanks to you. Volleyball is fun. You were also the one who taught me the fun of volleyball…You were the best at volleyball, you were always cool, confident, someone who I could never be on par with. But, lately, I’ve been wanting something more, and, um…”
He retreated into the shadows of the locker once again while restlessly shaking his gaze left and right, and he was coughing so much that I was wondering if he had trouble breathing. No, how should I put it…if someone who didn’t know him saw his behavior, he really would seem like a pervert, but…Kanno, who didn’t talk a lot normally, was earnestly talking like he was scraping up the fragments of words scattered all about his body. Unconsciously overawed, I was unable to interrupt. When he calmed his breathing and faced forward like he had resolved himself, his wandering eyeballs had settled, and his gaze was fixed on my face. He straightened his body that seemed like it was going to snuggly fit into the locker at any moment, and ah, that was when I was reminded that he had overtaken me in height a long time ago.
“Um, I like you, Ibara-chan.”
Right after he said that while looking me in the eye, fire erupted from his face with a thud and he covered his face his hands, exclaiming stuff like “Uwah.”
While Kanno found himself in a fix all by himself, I…
I was so calm that it was uncanny. It was not the time for going into raptures over being confessed to by a boy for the first time in my life.
So it’s like that…
While I was listening, something got stuck in my mind. It was in past tense, all of it. In other words, in Kanno’s head, I was no longer an existence that was cool, confident and the best at volleyball. It meant that the current me was “something I could be on par with.” Even I was very well aware of that, but the fact that I was told that from Kanno’s mouth when I was supposed to take a little more time to come to terms with it within myself was a shock that was like having my head chopped off by a guillotine, and with that shock…
The feeling of something somewhat warm sliding down my inner thigh finally overwhelmed me.
“Ibara-chan…?”
Kanno cautiously raised his face.
The me who was a supreme existence for Kanno had nowadays fallen to the point where I could be obtained if someone wanted me. No matter how much I aimed for the top, I would never be able to jump higher than I did now, but Kanno was undoubtedly continuing to nimbly soar higher and higher at this very moment. Instead of attaching extra fat to his chest and buttocks, he would be covered in more and more supple and strong muscles.
I guess you don’t remember anymore…
“Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan. You’ll look more handsome if it’s shorter.”
That was something said to me. From the smallest and most delicate kid in class. Putting a spell on me to shun being a girl and be cool and handsome, he became independent from my protection before I knew, and on top of that, confessed to me, like I was a clown.
It was now clear that the scratchiness that I felt within me every time I saw Kanno was jealousy and hatred.
“…Sorry, but no.”
Kanno’s eyes widened for a second, and then his shoulders slumped in disappointment.
“The only thing I feel for you is jealousy. You were lucky enough to be born a boy, and without using much effort, you were able to snatch what I want so bad but could never get. You grew a lot, I see… Did you know? I haven’t grown a centimeter since a year ago. My jump power is dropping. I’m gonna be less and less able to jump, just like Ayano. I don’t want that… I don’t want to be Ayano. Being so heavy and shameful-looking, just lumbering around close to the ground…”
“Ibara-cha…don’t…”
When I said Ayano’s name, Kanno suddenly interrupted me with an accusatory voice. I was irritated, wondering if he was finally going to talk to me like he was condescendingly admonishing me. I was very on edge.
I noticed that Kanno’s gaze was directed over my shoulder towards the outside hallway. When I looked back, sure enough, Ayano was standing there. She was holding a sports drink and towel, and her eyes were wide.
What did I say just now—? I was horrified at the words my own tongue wove together.
“Oh, um, Ibara-chan didn’t come back, so I came to check on her, but well, I half did it because I wanted to skip,” Ayano was speaking quickly with a shocked look on her face, and then forced an “…Aha!” like she just remembered to do it. “Ah, haha…that’s right, that’s why I’m useless. I get fat too quickly and it’s no wonder that Ibara-chan hates me, so, so don’t worry about it…”
She suddenly cast down her face with the whitish smile and spoke in a small voice.
“They, they’ll get angry if we don’t back now…I’ll go on ahead...”
She said and turned on her heel. Without looking anywhere but forward, she ran past the girls’ volleyball room, swinging the big butt I had shamed just now and disappearing down the stairs. The sound of squeaky footsteps stamping down the steps became distant.
“Ibara-chan, you have to go after her.”
Kanno grabbed my arm. I, who was frozen, jumped, but my legs didn’t move. If I took even a step forward from here, my blood will…
“It-it’s fine, it’s fine, we’ll meet in practice soon anyways, and she’ll understand once I talk to her… It wasn’t like I was talking about Ayano, just girls in general…”
Of course I was lying. It wasn’t about girls in general or anything like that. While I was blathering to Kanno about stuff that was just me taking out my anger from the ends of my prejudiced mind, it was definitely Ayano who I had been picturing in my mind with contempt.
***
When I returned to practice, Ayano, who was supposed to have gotten back before me, was nowhere to be seen. When my senpais asked me with concern, “Ibara, are you alright?”, I subconsciously put on a tough front and said, “Everything was completely fine. Sorry for all the trouble,” and despite worrying about Ayano, I did the rest of the regimen with the same enthusiasm as everyone else.
When practice time ended and the outside court, which had been roasted by the late summer sun, was finally in the shade with a somewhat comfortable wind blowing, Ayano returned.
She was with Kanno. No way, did he go searching for her…? She whispered something to Kanno, and then came to inside of the fence while awkwardly shrugging her shoulders. Kanno was seeing Ayano out and he himself didn’t go inside, just watching from outside the fence. The sports towel was once again snugly tied around his head.
Ayano first ran over to the captain, received a scolding, and then joined us as we were putting away the net.
“Wh-where did you go? Ayano…”
I made my face up like nothing had happened and called out to her, but she didn’t meet my eyes. I wondered where had she been until now—the tip of her nose was red from being sunburnt. “Ayano, Ayano, what happened?” “Why did you come with Dracky?” Immensely curious whispers immediately surrounded Ayano, and I was shut out of the circle.
Apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize… Just chanting that in my mind like a prayer to Buddha didn’t lead to action. Was I such a dawdling coward? In the end, I wasn’t cool or confident when it really mattered.
Clang, the fence shook violently.
On the inside of the fence, all of the girls’ team ducked their heads as they turned around, and then there was a sudden stir. Kanno gripped the fence with one hand and crouched down like he was hanging from it.
“Kanno!?”
I immediately ran over to the fence. I changed my mind on the way there and turned ninety degrees, rushing out the gate and went outside the fence. I rushed up to him and got on my knees, and when I touched his shoulder, it was hot—!? Kanno’s five fingers, which were still caught on the fence, slipped off and hit the ground. “Kan…” When I pressed his shoulders and tried to look into his face, the towel he covered his head with came loose and exposed his face.
The other members who belatedly gathered at the inside of the fence cried out.
From the bridge of his nose to his cheeks, a dense, closely-packed rash had emerged, and his skin was flaming bright red like he had blisters. Ayano’s slight sunburn couldn’t compare to it. The members in the front row were being pressed against the fence by the pressure from behind and blatantly trying to move back. “Hey, stop pushing!”  
“Don’t…Please don’t look…”
A feeble voice leaked from Kanno’s mouth. He fumbled for the towel and pressed it against his face, curling his back and cowering. The rash also appeared on the back of his hand, peeking out from his long sleeves. Ibara-chan, his small voice entered my ears, and I unconsciously brought my drawn back face close to his.
“…I’m sorry for getting carried away…I know, I’m a total disgrace, and I’m nowhere near equal with you, Ibara-chan…So please, don’t…don’t go saying silly stuff like that…don’t say things that will make you lose your friends because of me…”
There was no one to make fun of, but without knowing what to do, and me and the rest of the team could do nothing but stay frozen in place from confusion. While we had been told that he had a health condition, it didn’t mean we could truly imagine the reality of it, so we thought it probably wasn’t as serious as everyone said, so that was probably why we could mess with Kanno so lightheartedly.
The only one who moved was Ayano. She went around the fence and ran over to our side, thrusting me away and switched places with me, putting the unfolded bath towel on top of Kanno’s head.
“I’m sorry, Dracky, you were with me the whole time, I’m sorry, and thank you… What should I do? Should we go inside the school? Can you walk? Senpai, please call the teacher!”
Ayano at that moment was not slow and sluggish in the slightest. She was quicker and braver than anyone. As though her voice released them from their paralysis, everyone regained their movements. The third-years ran to get their phones to call the advisor. Some came over to help Ayano while others carried over a cooler box.
Amidst all of that, I was the only one who was unable to take any effective action, just sitting on my butt in a daze.
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imagineteller1 · 4 years ago
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Horror Night
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Warnings: language, gore.
Pairings: Daryl x reader x Negan.
My heart felt heavy on my chest. I choked in every breath I took. I watched, what used to be Abraham, crushed in the floor. Everything was ringing. The tears blinding my vision.
Negan talked but I didn't pay attention, I couldn't. He was in front of Rosita, trying to get her to see the bloody bat of the man she loved. In a second, Daryl took a swing at Negan.
"Daryl! No!" I screamed and ran towards him, my hands extended in an attempt to grab him. Before I could reach him, some of Negan's men were already holding me down as well as Daryl.
"No!" Negan yelled pointing his bat at Daryl. "That- oh," he chuckled. "That is a no no. The whole thing, not one bit of that shit flies here." He now kneeled in front of me. His rough hand was pulling on my chin to look up at him. "Brave little thing here, eh?"
I pulled my face away from his grasp. He stood back up. A blonde man held Daryl's crossbow at his face.
"You want me to kill him? Right here?"
"No!" I screamed. Trashing my body in the men's grip, I kicked around.
"Hey! Hey, what part of staying quiet do you not get?" Negan turned to me with his bat.
"Please, please, don't kill him. I'm begging you." I sobbed and I felt like I couldn't breath. My breath was stuck in my throat. I felt like I was having a panic attack. When I started shaking more violently I knew I was. My limbs felt as if they weren't there. I felt heavy but at the same time lite.
I heard Negan say something and then Daryl was thrown back in line. He approached me and kneeled back down. I tried to push the men away but they just gripped tighter. "I c-an't brea-th." I stuttered.
"What did you say again, darlin'"
"I-I can't br-eath." He signalled his men and I was dropped. My palms were on the ground as I tried to calm down. My chest heaved violently as I gasped for air. I felt like I was drowning.
"Holy fucking shit, she is having an attack." He joked.
New tears reamed down my face and fell to the dirt. This could be it. I looked at Daryl. He was looking at me, I saw a tear flow down his cheek. He tried to walked towards me but he was pushed down.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. Deep breaths. I could feel the oxygen make its way to my lungs. I heard Daryl's voice telling me to calm down like he had done countless of time, but in difference, he wasn't holding me this time.
After what felt like hours I opened my eyes and felt like I could breathe again.
"Still with us, doll?" Negan asked jokingly. "Both of you are so impulsive, not surprised you two are fucking." He took my face in his hand forcefully.
I glared up at him and he chuckled. "Get her back in line." Like that I was thrown in my back and dragged to where I had been kneeling before.
"Anyway... that's not how it works. Now, I already told you people, first one's free. Then what did I say, I said I would shut that shit down." He had a maniac smile on his face. "No exceptions. Now I don't know what kind of lying assholes you've been dealing with, but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important." Short silence. "I need you to know me. So, back to it."
In a second Negan's bat connected with Glenn's head. I blinked a few times. Not being able to believe this was really happening. We had just lost two of the strongest men of our group in a couple of minutes. I looked at Maggie and saw her sobbing.
I looked back at Glenn. You could see his skull and one of his eyes was bulging out of its socket.
My heart was beating out of my chest and I could hear every beat thumping.
"Buddy, you still there?" Negan asked mockingly. He muttered something and then exclaimed. "You are trying to speak! But you just took a hell of a hit. I just popped your skull so hard your eyeball just popped out. This is as gross as shit."
"Maggie I-I'll find yo-u." Glenn finally was able to mutter out.
"Oh, hell." Negan spoke. His voice was calm and serious. Like he actually felt sorry. "I can see this is hard, amiga. I am sorry. I truly am. But, I did say..." a smile now played in his lips. "No exceptions." He swinged at Glenn again. I jumped back in place.
No, no, no.
"You bunch of pussies... I'm just getting started. Lucille is thirsty." He kept hitting and hitting. There was nothing left to hit yet he kept swinging his bat. After he got tired he stepped away and joked. "She is a vampire bat."
The only sound was Negan's boot and our cries.
"What? Was the joke that bad?"
Rick looked up from his spot with a trembling yet determined look in his eyes. "I'm gonna kill you."
"What? I didn't quite catch that. You're gonna have to speak up." Negan mocked.
"Not today... not tomorrow... but I'm gonna kill you."
"Jesus," Negan scoffed. "Simon, what did he have? Knife?"
"He had a hatchet."
"Hatchet?" He smiled.
"An axe."
Negan laughed. "Simon, is my right hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without 'em. A whole pile of work. You have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing. Oh, or did I-" he made a clock sound with his tongue.
Rick remained silent. Negan sighed. "Sure, yeah. Give me his axe."
Who I believed was Simon, stepped up with axe in hand and gave it to Negan. He stood up and grabbed Rick by the shoulder. "We'll be right back, maybe Rick will be with me. If not, well we can just turn these people's inside out. I mean, the ones that are left."
With that he shut the trailer's door closed and drove away.
I looked at Daryl. He was shaking. His gunshot wound could get infected with all the trauma his body was going through right now. I went to stand up but was held in place.
"I'm not gonna do anything. You have all of our weapons, what could I do?" I tried to reason with the men.
"You stay on your knees, bitch. Unless you want to end up like your friends over there." He signalled to the bodies that laid on the floor. With a thud I sat back in the ground, pulling my legs to my chest.
--
Hours had passed and the sun had come up when the trailer came back. No one came out for a couple of minutes. The air was full of tension as we hoped to see Rick still alive. When the door finally opened, Rick was pushed to the ground and Negan came out, he dragged Rick back to us.
"Here we are. Let me ask you something, Rick. You even know what that little trip was about?"
Rick remained silence.
"Speak when you're spoken to."
"Okay... okay."
"That trip was about the way you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand. But you're still looking at me the same damn way... like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work." He paced around and then kneeled next to Rick. "So... do I give you another chance?"
"Yeah. Yes. Yes."
Patting Rick's shoulder he stood up. "Okay." He chuckled. "All right. And here it is- the grand prize game. What you do now will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day. Get some guns to the back of their heads.”
Guns cocked from behind us.
"Good. Now... level with their noses, so if you have to fire..." he imitates an explosion. "It'll be a real mess."
Silence.
"Kid." He said looking at Carl. "Right here." He pointed to the ground beside Rick. Carl was frozen in place. "Kid... now." Carl took slow steps. Negan took of his belt. "You a southpaw?"
"Am I a what?"
"You a lefty?"
"No."
"Good." He smiled as he took Carl's arm and tied the belt around it, cutting the circulation. "That hurt?"
"No."
"Should. It's supposed to." He finished tying the belt. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to daddy. Spread them wings." He took Carl's hat off.
Carl did as told. "Simon, you got a pen?"
"Yeah." He threw it at Negan. He took of the cap with his teeth and kneeled next to Carl.
"Sorry, kid. This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it across the forearm." We all watched in horror as Negan drew a line in Carl's arm. "There you go. Gives you a little leverage."
"Please. Please. Please don't. Please don't." Rick begged.
"Me?" Negan chuckled. "I ain't doing shit." He stood up. "Ah. Rick, I want you to take your axe... cut of your son's left arm off, right on that line. Now I know- I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense. Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die... and then you, eventually. I'm gonna keep you breathing for a few years, just so you can stew on it."
"You- you don't have to do this. We understand. We understand." Michonne spoke.
"You understand. Yeah. I'm not sure Rick does." He advertido his attention back to Rick. "I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice- nothing messy, clean, forty five degrees- give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine. Probably. Rick this needs to happen now- chop, chop- or I will crush the little fella's skull myself."
"Please, we all understand. Rick understands. We all work for you, stop this. You don't need to prove a point because you already did." I tried. This was my family. I wasn't gonna stay quiet and not try anything. My arms pointed at the fallen bodies.
I felt a gun press against the back of my head.
"It can- it can- it can be me." Rick stuttered out. "It can be me. Y-you can do it to me. I c- I can go with- with you."
"No. This is the only way. Rick... pick up the axe." Rick didn't move. "Not making a decision is a big decision." Negan's voice raised. "You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every ugly thing." He still didn't move. "Oh, my god." He groaned. "Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting."
"Three!"
"Please." Rick cried out. "Please. It can be me. Please!"
"Two!" He kneeled next to Rick.
"Please, don't do-" Rick sobbed and I looked away.
"This is it."
Rick screamed. I shut my eyes closed. Tears running down my cheeks.
"One!"
"Dad... just do it. Just do it." I heard Carl whisper.
I looked back at the scene.
Rick held the axe high, preparing to cut his son's arm.
"Rick." Negan stopped him. "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?" Rick nodded hastily. "Speak when you're spoken to!" Negan's voice beamed making everyone jump. "You answer to me. You provide for me."
"Provide for you." Rick answered shakily.
"You belong to me, right?!"
"Right." Rick breathed heavy.
"Right. That... is the look I wanted to see." He stood up and took the axe. "We did it... all of us, together... even the dead ones on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure." He sighed. "Today was a productive damn day! Now, I hope, for all your sake... that you get it now... that you understand how this work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you... that is over now." He chuckled.
There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Ah, Dwight... load him up." He signalled to Daryl who struggled in, who I suppose was Dwight's, arms.
"What are you gonna do to him?" I asked. Trying to sound as strong as I could. Negan turned to me.
"How could I forget about you?" He took long yet calming strides towards me. "You, darlin', are coming with me too."
"Why?" I sounded more panicked than I wanted to.
"Because..." he smiled. "You've got a mouth on you and I really, really like it. Keeps me on my feet. I have a proposal for you..." he waited for my name.
"Lucia."
He smiled and licked his lips. "You hear that, Lucille? They sound similar... okay, Lucia. I have this proposal for you. You come with me, be one of my wives, and I, won't kill another one of your group, for your blabbing mouth. How does that sound, hm?"
Shock was written all over my face. "It's your choice, Lucia. Either you come with me or... I kill another one of your friends. So, what will it be?" He passed his finger along my jawline. I looked at the truck where Daryl was in.
Maybe, if I went with him I could find a way to help Daryl escape. I looked around the group. I wasn't gonna let anyone else die, much less because of my fault.
"Okay." I said. Turning off all my emotions.
"Great." He smiled. "You and I are gonna have a lot of fun together." He licked his lips while scanning my body. "Fan-fucking-tastic. Simon, put her in my truck. I still have some words to say to our new pal Rick."
As Simon grabbed my arm and led me to a truck I looked back and saw Rick watching me. I gave him a slight nod with my head, telling him I had a plan.
I wrote this a some time ago but hadn’t posted it here. Requests are open ❤️
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radioactivepeasant · 4 years ago
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Fic Prompts: Folklore Friday
This is actually an unfinished short story that I wrote three years ago. So you may notice that it’s a little different from my current writing style in some ways. It’s been edited a wee bit before posting, mostly proofreading stuff, but this is an urban fantasy short I was working on years back about a young man who accidentally becomes king of the goblins. He really really does not want to be king of the goblins. 
He never should have taken the detour that night: that was the source of all his troubles.
Work had been brutal, with a grand total of ten patients either screaming over the phone about the charge for their appointment, or trying to convince him that the doctor had approved a kind of medicine that he most certainly had not prescribed. Of course, since he was “just a receptionist”, they all assumed they could bully him into agreeing with whatever they wanted. Admittedly, by the time he had clocked out for the day, Seth Jefferson Jr. had had just about all the frustration he could take.
All he really wanted to do was go home, sit on the couch, and not talk to anyone for the next three hours. So when he spotted five or six scowling young men congregating around the only streetlight on his normal route home, he decided to take the path of least resistance. Seth had never cut through the ratty, overgrown park before, but it would only add a few minutes to his commute. It seemed like a better idea than trying to navigate around the men up ahead, at least. He hopped the fence and continued on his way, hands in his pockets.
Seth kicked through a pile of leaves and discarded beer cans, wrinkling his nose. Midsummer Park had been a very nice place once, when he was young. It hadn’t been the most popular destination, but there had been a certain charm to the way the flowers had been planted in spirals around the tree trunks. The flowers were gone, now. Nobody had bothered to do any landscaping there for years, and the plants grew as they pleased now. 
Seth pulled his coat a little closer to his neck, shivering. The park was quiet, save for the soft chirps of crickets and the occasional frog. His own footsteps sounded unbearably loud as he walked, as if he was trespassing. He could not shake the feeling that someone or something was watching him. He hoped it wasn’t the men from the sidewalk.
The toe of his sneaker met the thin stalk of a Clitocybe nuba with a barely audible plop. Seth glanced down at the mushroom, then caught sight of a large, ugly toad watching him from the shelter of another mushroom a few inches away. Gross. 
There was a whole ring of the fungus, extending perhaps ten feet in diameter. Some might have thought of old legends and superstitions and walked around it, but Seth had no time for fairytales. Cold and annoyed at having to go out of his way, he stepped over the mushroom he’d kicked and moved on through the center of the circle. That was a mistake.
Instantly, Seth knew that something was terribly wrong. His feet were frozen to the dying grass as though they’d grown roots. His arms hung heavy at his sides, coated in an icy numbness from his shoulders to his fingertips. Panic gripped his lungs, and he strained to breathe. His eyes could still move, and he cast them about wildly, looking for the source of his paralysis.
The toad who had been sitting at the edge of the mushroom ring hopped forward with slow, squelching motions before coming to rest at Seth’s feet. Its eyes shone an uncanny gold, and then before Seth’s eyes, it began to change.
The toad grew in size until it was near the height of a large dog, then it straightened to stand on its back legs. The toadskin fell away like a discarded poncho, and left the most preposterous figure Seth had ever seen.
It was covered from its head to its cloven hooves in short, coarse hair or fur, most of which was covered by a very ugly embroidered tunic and breeches. Long, tangled hair hung down around the person’s shoulders, sprouting from a skull that sported horns. Horns of all things! Seth registered all this in silence, mostly owing to the fact that he was not able to open his mouth.
“Well well!” the strange figure said, and Seth’s heart skipped a beat at the eerie whispery sound. “Not many humans get stuck in these anymore! I wonder who we’ve got to thank for that? Your internet? Probably your internet.”
They leaned down to peer into Seth’s eyes. “How old are you? Twenty-two? Twenty-four? Old enough to know better. Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not nice to walk through a fairy ring?”
You’re kidding me. Seth thought. Fairies? As in pixies and flowers and little glittery wings on kids’ dolls? Yeah right. This guy looks more like a demon.
As if they’d read the human’s thoughts, the satyr-like figure snorted, twitching their pointed ears.
“Now don’t tell me you thought all fairies were dainty little girls wearing flower petals? Human exaggeration: utterly ridiculous.”
Seth decided that he had to be hallucinating this. He’d probably slipped on one of those empty beer cans and struck his head on a rock or something. Now he was dreaming up some pseudo-mythological weirdness. Might as well play along until he woke up, right? 
Seth’s more logical side pointed out that there was no evidence that he’d taken a fall of any kind, but Seth was not prepared to acknowledge that the satyr existed. Neither was he prepared to follow the line of reasoning that said the satyr might be a figment of his imagination, and that he might be standing in a field staring at nothing.
“Fairies, huh?” he croaked. He was a little surprised that his mouth was able to move at all, as it had been stuck shut only moments before. He coughed, and swallowed a few times in an attempt to strengthen his voice.
“I’m guessing that saying I don’t believe in fairies isn’t going to make you fall down dead.” he said dryly.
The satyr performed an odd little caper and cackled.
“No indeed! I don’t know why that idea caught on, but it’s not true.” They paused, and glanced slyly at Seth out of the corner of their eye. “In fact, saying I don’t believe in fairies usually results in a goblin being born.”
Abruptly the look of amusement dulled into something closer to flat annoyance. “There’s been quite a population boom in the Umbralands recently, as a matter of fact. You humans should stop telling your young that we aren’t real.”
This struck Seth as slightly amusing, but he said nothing. Whether he was dreaming, hallucinating, or actually experiencing this -- which had to be impossible. Fairies and Goblins had no place in modern, rational society! -- he’d been standing in the mushroom circle far too long. Seth needed to get home!
“I was never the fairytale type,” he said shortly, “Exactly what happens now?”
He hoped his tone conveyed what his frozen body language could not: that he was tired, hungry, and not in the mood to put up with any magical monkeyshines from this decidedly odd figure who had so rudely interrupted his Friday evening.
The satyr studied him a moment, as if they were trying to measure the man’s personality with their eyes alone. They paced with an odd, rollicking gait, whistling merrily through Their teeth. 
They looked jolly enough, but there was something about them that made Seth’s chest tighten with a kind of fearful caution. Apparently, his body knew something he didn’t, and was classifying the satyr as a threat. 
Perhaps it was the knowledge that things like satyrs just weren’t supposed to exist. There was a certain level of aporia spreading through his mind, suppressing his thoughts and reactions until there was nothing left but an unending hum and an anxious awareness of what was happening around him.
“What should we do with you?” the satyr mused, beginning to pace a loping circle around Seth. 
“In the past, we used to set impossible tasks for interlopers. Or, I could keep you here, dancing uncontrollably for a year and a day or until someone figured out you were missing and called your true name. But that’s all pretty standard fare.”
They came to a stop just behind Seth’s left shoulder, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Seth wished he could move, even just his arms so that he could protect the vulnerable stalk of veins and vertebrae. 
Come on, Seth, he tried to reason with himself, It’s a goat-person. Not a vampire. It probably won’t drink your blood. But then again, Seth didn’t know anything about goat-people. Who was to say it wouldn’t try to eat him? It -- he? they? -- had been pretty menacing thus far.
He heard the satyr take a deep breath, then out of the corner of his eye he saw them walk around to stand in front of him again. They were smiling, and right away Seth decided he didn’t much like the look of that smile.
“I’ll tell you what, human. Since it’s late, and you’re probably tired, let’s do this: if you guess my name, I’ll sweep this under the rug and we can both pretend it never happened.”
Oh that just screamed “suspicious”. Even if he wasn’t familiar with a lot of folktales, Seth knew Rumplestiltskin, and he had a bad feeling about this seemingly-innocuous guessing game. Despite his better judgment, however, it seemed like this might be the only way out of this stupid mushroom ring.
“What’s the catch?” he rasped.
The satyr blinked slowly, then shrugged. “I suppose if you fail, I’ll get to set an impossible task for you after all,” they said innocently.
Seth muttered some choice words under his breath and stared very hard at the goat-person. “How many guesses do I get?” he asked shrewdly.
“I’m feeling generous. I’ll say five.”
Noticing Seth’s disgusted expression, the creature bared surprisingly sharp teeth in a slightly aggressive smile and leaned close. 
“Just be glad I picked guess my name and not a game of riddles. You don’t look like you’d be very good at those.”
Well, that much was true, but Seth wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of hearing it confirmed. He racked his brain for bizarre and fantastical names. Rumplestiltskin could be dismissed out of hand, at least, as could most of the Tolkien-esque names that presented themselves to him after a few moments.
“Is it Mephistopheles?” he asked first.
“No. It’s a good name though, I’ll keep it in mind if I ever change mine.”
“Fine.” Seth squinted and looked for another. “Pan?”
The satyr narrowed their eyes. “It’s because of the hooves, right? That’s profiling and I resent it.”
Well, safe to say “Pan” was not their name. Seth tried hard to think and guessed again.
“Wormwood?”
“Okay,” the other answered with gritted teeth, “Now you’re trying to insult me.”
“Hey, I’m working with what I have, here!” Seth protested. “What about, er, Fauna?”
The satyr didn’t look at all impressed. “Well that’s not very creative, is it? A bit more feminine than I prefer, too. Try again.”
Seth’s remaining guess met with similar results. Frustration bubbled up inside him. It had been rigged from the start. He’d known that, of course, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still get angry about it. Seth was at least glad that his face was still mobile. He twisted his lips into a vicious scowl, which he directed at the smug satyr.
“Well that’s my five guesses, used up. You might as well tell me what it was,” he growled.
“Of course, where are my manners?” said the satyr sarcastically. They swept into a low bow with a flourish of their hand. “They call me Chicanery. Lord Chicanery Black, if you require a title and surname.”
Seth was furious. “And how would I have been able to guess something like that?” he demanded.
“You wouldn’t,” Chicanery answered carelessly, “That’s the whole point. But while we’re doing introductions, what’s your name, human?”
Seth nearly said his name, but at the last second changed his mind. He had no idea why, but it seemed like a bad idea to just casually give the creature his full name. Was it something he’d read once?
“Jefferson.” he answered. Chicanery nodded.
He cracked his bulging knuckles and leaned on Seth’s shoulder in a very irritating fashion.
“Well, Jeff, you failed the test. So now I get to set a task for you.”
“No.”
Chicanery looked astonished, as though it had never actually occurred to him that someone would refuse to play along. For just a moment, a flash of anger crackled -- quite literally crackled as if it were a spark of electricity -- in his eyes, and a chill ran up Seth’s spine. Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to antagonize the creature.
“Impossible task, or stay here in the ring until you die of either starvation or old age. Your choice.” he said coldly.
“That isn’t fair.”
He knew it was childish, but Seth couldn’t help pointing it out. He had a job, a life, and none of this made any sense at all. 
“If life was fair, I wouldn’t be stuck here guarding an abandoned dance ring,” Chicanery answered dryly. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, you’ll be rewarded if you actually pull it off. You need a car? Or a better job?” he stared pointedly at Seth’s scrubs.
Seth squinted at Chicanery, trying to gauge just how much of the odd being’s words were truth. It wasn’t as if he had a precedent for this to measure it against. The promise of a car was tempting, though he didn’t know how he’d afford the gas. No, best not to get ahead of himself. He didn’t know what Chicanery wanted him to do yet. Still, he was more than ready to get out of this fairy ring.
“What exactly did you have in mind?” he asked warily.
Looking immensely pleased with himself, Chicanery hopped back a pace and spread his arms wide.
“See? Was that so hard?” he asked. Then he leaned in again. “You’re going to help me run a little errand. It’s just some housekeeping. And by “housekeeping”, I mean you’re going to help me usurp the throne of Unter Kobold, king of the Umbralands. I assume you have a gun, or can get one?”
“What.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Chicanery held out one of his calloused, hairy hands and Seth found that he could move again. “Do we have a deal, or am I leaving you here?”
Well, when you put it that way, Seth thought bitterly, and he gingerly shook the satyr’s hand.
It felt like being grabbed by a pinecone. Something stung his skin and the human pulled his hand away with a hiss of pain. A shimmering mark in the shape of a leaf curled outward across his palm with the same faint crackle he’d heard before.
“You’re free to go now, Jefferson,” Chicanery said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “We start planning tomorrow.”
The moment Seth stepped out of the mushroom ring, the satyr was gone. In his place, the ugly toad from before sat, watching him. Seth shuddered and hurried home as quickly as he could. As much as he desperately wanted to convince himself that none of that had been real, he could not deny that he’d only lost five minutes by the time he got home, and the leaf-mark on his palm did not wash away.
Seth kicked off his shoes and did not bother to change into pajamas as he fell into bed. He could only hope that the satyr would forget about him after a few days.
#
He awoke the next morning to the sound of someone moving around in his kitchen. Seth felt around for the baseball bat he kept next to his bed, then eased his bedroom door open. Now he could hear voices.
“-well we can’t do that. No no, that’s much too much pepper. See? It looks weird now.”
Something gurgled and croaked, but Seth couldn’t make out whether or not it was words. He was more concerned with the fact that the first voice had belonged to Chicanery Black.
Seth marched into the kitchen, bat upraised, to find the satyr and a grotesque little creature that appeared to be a cross between a crocodile and a sugar glider sitting on his shoulder. They were bent over the stove, observing eggs frying in a pan. Chicanery turned with a grin.
“Ah! Morning, partner. Collywobble and I were just debating on how much pepper humans usually put in their eggs. How much do you put in?”
Flabbergasted, Seth’s mouth worked soundlessly for a few minutes before he gasped, “None! And how did you even get in here? Don’t you guys have to be, like, invited or something?”
“That’s vampires,” Chicanery shoved a forkful of boiling hot egg into his mouth and spoke around it. “Which don’t exist, by the way.”
“Of course,” Seth muttered sarcastically. “Because that’s much weirder than a satyr frying eggs in my kitchen.”
Chicanery did not grace this with an answer. He shoveled the other egg out onto a plate in an ugly lump, and handed a fork to Seth.
“Today,” he said, “You’re going to go to your public library and look up everything humans ever wrote about goblins and gargoyles and how to kill them.”
Seth seriously considered making a snide remark about homework, but decided not to push his luck. If the satyr had no trouble getting into his house, there was no telling what else he could do. He groaned and set his baseball bat down so he could eat.
“You weren’t going to stay here, were you?” he asked, gagging on the amount of pepper in the rapidly cooling egg. “I mean, is this going to be a regular thing?”
Chicanery glanced at the diminutive creature on his shoulder and back at Seth.
“I’ll stay until the task is completed.” he answered, confirming Seth’s worst fears. He leaned casually against the counter and raised a hand to scratch Collywobble behind the ears. “You know, you’re taking all this remarkably well. The last human I tried to recruit went stark raving mad, you know. They had to cart him away after he went goblin hunting in a supermarket. After an experience like that, it’s nice to find a human with a good, stretchy mind.”
Collywobble made a wet, barking sound in what was presumably agreement. Seth made a face and gestured to it.
“Okay, what is that?” he sighed.
“She,” Chicanery corrected, “Is Collywobble. She’s a goblin, and you’d better get used to her because you’ll be seeing a lot more of them.”
“Why?” Seth asked, already certain he would not like the answer.
Chicanery looked at him as if he’d lost his senses.
“One does not simply overthrow a goblin king without minions!”
Collywobble snuffled agreeably at this, then hopped down to the table. Seth decided that this was altogether too much weirdness for one morning, and that he’d be better off at the library. He stood and opened the refrigerator, looking for a stiff drink to chase away the taste of burnt and over-peppered egg.
Something like a winged porcupine held up a three-toed paw in greeting and he slammed the door.
“Why.” was all he managed to say.
Chicanery opened the refrigerator again and brightened.
“Oh! Widdershins!” he said, “So you found the place after all. What do our friends at the armory say?”
“I’m done.” Seth threw his hands into the air and left the kitchen. This was ignored by Chicanery, Collywobble, and Widdershins.
After discovering one more goblin in his clothes hamper and one in the closet, Seth threw on his shoes and stormed out of the house, locking it behind him. It likely wouldn’t do any good at all, seeing as Chicanery and his minions had just sort of materialized to begin with, but it gave him a slight sense of satisfaction.
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