#just finished getting all achievements in dredge today

[raccoon-in-a-hoodie]

[teawaffles]

There’s No Business Like Show Business: Chapter 3

“Fred. How’s their acting like to you?” Jack asked in a low voice.

They were seated at the edge of the stalls. They could also see Bond from where they were, completely focused on the stage.

“I’m not an actor myself, so this is just my personal opinion — but I think they’re awfully good,” Fred replied.

Jack gazed at the stage with a serious look in his eyes.

“I think so too. I won’t discount the fact that their sets and props look a little homemade, maybe due to a lack of budget; but when it comes to acting, each one of them is highly skilled. I can tell that the performers are all deeply familiar with the intent of the script.”

They were no theatre professionals for sure, but they possessed an eye for the true essence of their art.

The creases near Jack's eyes deepened as he quietly groaned.

“And best of all is that lady.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Moran agreed. With Fred included, all of them were focused on the lone person on the stage.

As Jack had pointed out, Maya, the chairwoman, was the standout actress even among the highly-skilled members of her own company.

Although she only held the lead role in “The Little Match Girl”, and was relegated to supporting roles for the other stories, the delivery of her lines, the movements of her body and hands, and even the slight shifts in her gaze — each and every one of her actions was perfectly under her control. They had seen a glimpse of this when she’d stood before her fellow company members previously, but this person on stage was completely different from the one who'd spoken to them at the entrance.

Even accounting for the fact that she had written the script herself, this level of sophistication in acting was not one which could be achieved by some run-of-the-mill actress. Moreover, the lines and pauses in the script had been carefully crafted to make it easy for the audience to relate to the stories.

From then on, the three of them enjoyed the rest of the play in silence, marvelling at her exceptional talent. Eventually, the rehearsal came to an end.

“——That concludes our performance. Thank you very much for coming.”

After her closing words, the company lined up on stage, silently waiting for Bond’s comments. While there had not been any flashy moments during the performance, almost all of them had sweat on their foreheads. Each breath they took revealed the depth of their concentration.

“…………”

For a short while, Bond stared at the stage without saying a word. Growing uneasy at the silence, the company members lowered their gazes slightly.

After what seemed like an eternity, Bond cleared his throat, and adjusted his posture. Seeing that, the company members straightened their backs.

“——If I were to summarise my thoughts, I think your acting has already reached a high standard. I’m sure all of you have put in much time and effort to achieve this.”

Their faces beamed at his compliment. But Bond would not allow them to be satisfied with that alone.

He rose from his seat.

“But that’s also why some bad habits have stood out to me. For example, the witch in ‘The Little Mermaid’: there were times when your movements were too exaggerated. I know that you wanted to emphasise her sinister nature, but the way you did so may turn off the audience.”

“Y-Yes……”

The actress who’d been singled out hung her head, perhaps out of shock. But Bond ignored this, and pointed to another woman.

“Now, you played the main character in ‘The Red Shoes’. I watched your steps after putting on the shoes — have you properly studied dance? It’s true that even some stage professionals may think that it’s alright to just mimic the real thing, but if you really want to make your performance more authentic, you must take the time to learn how to do it properly. Your audience will not be satisfied unless you show them a level of skill that will astonish even people in that profession.”

“Understood!” she responded with vigour.

“Next up is you: the way you project your voice——”

Then Bond singled out each of the performers in turn, highlighting in detail what they needed to work on. He only needed to watch their play once to spot areas for improvement at such a fine level of detail — his eye for the arts gave them all a sense of the former professional’s brilliance.

At last, Bond finished addressing every member of the company. But he then swept his gaze over the entire theatre.

“In addition…… this isn’t your fault at all, but your success today was only possible due to the small size of this theatre,” he said, with some distress. “If we were in a bigger venue, the hall would be wider and deeper to accommodate the larger audience. In other words, I’m afraid that with your current performance, your voices simply would not reach the entire audience.”

Maya paled.

“So, in order to accommodate the size of the venue……”

“Yes. The worst-case scenario would be that you have to rework the entire play. By the way, when is the opening night?”

“T—Two weeks later.”

The entire room was enveloped in silence. Even from where they were seated, Moran and the others felt the weight of their despair: all the hard work they had put in thus far, might just have amounted to nothing.

Even Bond, who had revealed this harsh reality, dropped his gaze and grimaced.

“Well, there are a fair number of productions that focus only on the stage, and do not account for the size of the audience, so you may not have to change——”

“——No, we’ll do it.”

Maya sharply interrupted his proposal.

“You’ve seen how I am; I’ve always been timid and hesitant…… but theatre is the one thing I will never compromise on. Especially now — this is a rare opportunity for us. For my fellow company members, for the people who’ve supported us this far, I want to show them something I’ve put every effort into making.”

“…………”

At her words, the rest of the company nodded in silence.

Even with the actual performance only two weeks away, Maya and her company had steeled their hearts and chosen to start again from scratch. That stubborn determination surprised Bond, and even Moran and the rest.

“U—Um…… Mr Bond, I actually have something I wish to discuss with you……”

Out of the blue, Maya’s voice had grown soft.

“U—Um, if it is alright with you, just for the next two weeks, could you sit in during our rehearsals? A—Ah, actually, just whenever you have the time would be fine……”

Bond chuckled.

Even after being told about all those problems, they refused to stand down, and even continued to ask for help. Their mental fortitude sparked hope in him, and he couldn’t help but let out a grin.

Bond shot the party in the stalls a questioning look. Moran looked to Jack and Fred in turn, before giving him a thumbs-up.

With that, the former flames of passion within Bond burned even hotter. He faced the company members with a determined grin.

“——Okay. But I will be especially tough on you all, so be prepared.”

Then, he called out to Fred.

“Fred-kun. I would like your help as well — is that alright with you?”

“Understood,” he replied, standing up.

“Bond, I’m always happy to teach knife-wielding.”

“And you can always ask me about gun handling.”

“Now that would be helpful,” Bond smiled at Jack and Moran’s jests, then turned back to the stage.

“Well then, everyone — for the next two weeks, let’s do our best together.”

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“During a performance, you must be always be aware of three things: the audience, the other actors, and yourself. If the feeling of being ‘watched’ becomes too strong for you, first direct your attention within yourself. Then, you will be able to focus on your acting once again.”

“I don’t advocate the idea of getting into a role. In the end, acting is just a skill: what you should focus on instead is how you are moving.”

“Although an effective way of bringing out emotions is to dredge up your past memories, I would advise you to avoid that. Recent memories are too concrete and vivid — if you must do so, use memories from your distant past. And be careful: if you frequently immerse yourself in negative emotions, you will hurt yourself on a spiritual level too.”

In a small theatre in Whitechapel, Bond’s instructions came forth ceaselessly.

He stood on stage together with the company members: carefully reviewing their movements, even acting them out himself as an example on occasion, and putting in every effort to raise the level of their production.

The remaining two weeks were short, but with their foundations already strong to begin with, Maya and her company steadily honed their acting skills to perfection.

One week left until the show. His work as an instructor had finally ended for the day, and he let out a sigh as he sat in the stalls to catch his breath.

“Good work today — fancy a sip?”

Having watched the proceedings from the stalls, Moran handed him a bottle of water. It was a beer bottle — very Moran-like — and Bond accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks, Moran-kun.”

Bond gulped down a single mouthful of water.

“So, how’s the play going?”

“At first I thought we would be hard-pressed for time, but they truly exceeded my expectations. I think we might just make it. ……Scratch that, we will make it.”

Moran nodded.

“That’s right. And they seem to be well-liked by the residents around here. I really hope they can pull it off.”

As Moran gazed off into the distance, a thought just occurred to Bond. He cocked his head.

“Come to think of it, you really didn’t have to tag along with me all this time, you know?”

Ever since the day Bond had agreed to lend his support to the company, his other colleagues had stopped over from time to time to cheer him on. However, Moran had made it a point to come to the theatre every day without fail.

Moran scratched his cheek in embarrassment.


“……Well, it’s not like I have anything else to do when there aren’t any missions. As a senior member of this organisation, I’m just here to see how my junior works.”

“Even though you’ve been skipping out on chores at the mansion?”

“D—Dammit, I told you before: I always do my share of the work, you know.”

Bond had said that half-jokingly, but his words flustered Moran nevertheless. It seemed he had not been entirely wrong about that.

Bond returned his gaze to the stage.

“……Thank you, Moran-kun,” he said quietly.

“Hmm? Didn’t you already say that earlier?”

“This one means something different,” he said, with a hint of mischief in his voice. Moran raised an eyebrow in bemusement, but the presence of a caring senior alone warmed Bond’s heart.

Just then, they heard the sound of the theatre doors opening.

As the two men turned to look, they saw a portly middle-aged man with a magnificent moustache standing at the entrance.

Maya hurriedly bowed in his direction. “T—Thank you so much for your help thus far! What brings you all the way here?”

From her formal manner, it seemed this was the very noble who had asked them to stage the opening act for his theatre.

“Ah, you’ve been working hard, I see,” he said as he stroked his moustache, a big smile on his face.

“Yes; with your assistance, we’ve been able to prepare for the performance in time. I’m sure the audience will be satisfied with——”

“Well, about that.”

The man interrupted Maya, still all smiles.

“——Your performance has been cancelled.”

“What?”

No one could believe their ears.

Her expression brimmed with confusion.

“U-Um, what do you mean……?”

“What does it mean? Just pretend our conversation back then didn’t happen. That’s all.”

The man made another simple pronouncement, then smiled as if nothing was wrong.

“Honestly, it’s just as well that this has happened, since I’ve also been troubled over your debut. So what I’m saying is, your company doesn’t have to turn up. That’s alright with you, isn’t it?”

The entire company was still in a state of shock. Then, Bond addressed the man directly.

“Now hold on just a moment. What do you mean, you were troubled? Then why did you ask them to perform? What’s more, isn’t it a little late to cancel the performance at this juncture?”

Hearing that, the man sighed in displeasure.

“Who are you, anyway? Someone connected to this company? I’m not happy to be asked so many questions at once.”

“Then I’ll summarise it for you. If you were going to cancel the performance so easily, why bother requesting Maya and her company to perform anyway?”

At Bond’s question, the nobleman shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, that’s simple. I just felt like it.”

“……What?”

Those shocking words froze him to the core.

“I’d heard about a reputable theatre company in the slums. Since there’s this notion of noblesse oblige anyway, I thought a performance would be a good topic for conversation and approached them. But then I grew to realise that the thought of poor people stepping onto the sacred stage of an official theatre just didn’t sit well with me. So yesterday, I finally decided to put an end to this madness.”

“How could you……”

He had asked Maya’s company to perform on a whim, and then cancelled their act on a selfish whim as well. And this was all decided just ‘yesterday’. Even though they had been putting in every effort into their play.

The nobleman continued.

“That’s all I had to say. You poor folk are living off the graces of the nobility, so be grateful that I even bothered to come all this way to talk to you. Now that I’m finished here, I’ll be leaving. The smell here is simply an assault on my senses.”

Right before he walked out, the man spat out one last line.

“Well, at least you all had a nice dream, didn’t you?”

“………!”

A violent rage surged within Bond. Somehow, he managed to grit his teeth and hold himself back. If he were to retaliate right now, he would be inviting unnecessary reprisal on Maya and her company rather than himself. So all he could do was look daggers at the nobleman’s back as he left.

The theatre was enveloped in a mournful silence. Everyone seemed to have lost their verve, and no one uttered a word. Bond was shaking with frustration.

Amidst the heavy atmosphere, just one man — Moran — gazed upon the situation with composure.

Finally, Maya, the chairwoman, mumbled in a thin voice.

“Um, I’m so sorry. I think, I’m not feeling too well……”

Then, with a hollow expression, she headed to the dressing room, her footsteps shaky.

[everygame]

Hollow Knight (PS4)

Developed/Published by: Team Cherry Released: 24/02/2017 Completed: 09/12/2020 Completion: Finished the main story with a percentage north of 100%. Trophies / Achievements: 48%

Kinda funny, but not that funny to be writing at this today [”months earlier”-Ed.] after listening to the Greatest Games Ever Insert Credit Show where Tim Rogers enthused that this was the best Metroidvania ever and Brandon Sheffield hated it very, very much.

Might as well cut to the chase and say I like it far, far less than Tim Rogers but don’t hate it quite as much as Brandon Sheffield (but then, I played it more than an hour, and if I’d stopped at an hour I might have.) However, this is me falling headlong into “no, it’s the children who are wrong” territory because I’m going to say that is pretty much everything I hate in Metroidvania design (level design in general, even) and I’m truly, truly baffled by why this is so lauded. I mean, this is a game that opens with a short tutorial segment (fine, good) but then throws you into a level with multiple long pathways, no map unless you pick the right path quickly, and extremely samey graphics across the area meaning you just stumble around second guessing every move. I mean the whole “you don’t get a map in a section until you find the guy who has the map”... people like that? And don’t get me started on how the game doesn’t let you see yourself on the map unless you waste one of your equip slots. That’s honestly unpleasant.

I mean the level design is bad enough on the macro level, but each area is also chock-a-block with blind drops, punishment drops, and enemies that take forever to kill because you have to engage with a punitive weapon levelling system that, frankly, you’ll won’t be able to engage with unless you literally look up where to get the materials.

This kind of complaint, however, is the exact type of thing that breeds what has to be one of my most hated “extremely online gamer” takes, which to respond to a complaint something is just tediously hard or obtuse by telling folk to “Git gud”. Here’s my response: the game should get good. 

Anyway, what I did with Hollow Knight was ignore everyone who says you shouldn’t look anything up because I ain’t got time for that and just start to actually roll through it using a map to find the traversal skills etc. While I never ever actually liked the level design basically ever, the game only really starts to become anything worth your time once you’ve unlocked dashing and even then it wasn’t until I unlocked the ability to dash through enemies and damage them that I gelled with it at all (especially because you can’t cancel the dash or backdash, meaning until the point dashing was safer I didn’t like it).

Even at that, a bit like with Celeste, I didn’t ever really care for how the main character controlled, nor how battles felt or having to go and get your “shade” any time you died so you could get your money back (guess what! It was never hard to do that, my stomach only ever sank at the waste of time.)

The problem is of course is that metroidvania design is so… more-ish? I played this wayyyy longer than I needed to because it’s actually fairly trivial to beat this if you “git gud” and just do the exact main quest, but instead I unlocked all the abilities, fully upgraded my sword, got all the equips… I mean, I basically dredged this because even if I wasn’t really having fun in the moment I was always so close to doing the next thing and so I did.

Anyway I beat it and the spell was broken.

Will I ever play it again? No, and no fucking way will I play a sequel or anything like that.

Final Thought: Hollow Knight is… not good. There’s no excuse for lengthy, tedious mapping and no excuse for punishing, tedious level design. Or the terrible introduction to the game or pacing/planning of the unlocks (I mean come on, the first unlock being a spell instead of dash, which is so core to the experience; lol). That said, you’ll probably stockholm syndrome yourself into thinking it’s the bee’s knees because there’s just so much content. Plus, to be honest, there’s some charming animation and even if I didn’t like the setting or any of the world design (so bland! So samey!!!) I actually thought the soundtrack was nice. In conclusion: the children are wrong!!!

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi.

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch4

This time the chapter art had me digging out the pencils.  Sorry Gordy - you’re looking a bit old and tired rather than the youthful Olympian I envisaged.

Also, more thanks to @willow-salix​ who helped me try and improve both wonky writing and wonky chins.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three

Chapter Four

The call connected but brought not the cheery tones of a brother but the now overly-familiar sound of yet another voicemail request to leave a message after the tone.  The last few days had been a litany of missed calls and crossed text messages.  Whenever he had a break between training and physio appointments the family seemed to be watching another event with phones off.  Whenever he returned from a gym or pool session there would be another blinking icon waiting for him.  Another failed attempt at contact.

It was great seeing the messages wishing him good luck followed by messages offering congratulations as he cleared his heat but it would have been nice to speak to his family in person.  Everyone else on the squad seemed to be able to schedule video calls with loved ones.  You would have thought that with such a large family he would have struck lucky at some point.  

Gordon scrolled through the call history.  Alan.  Scott.  Virgil.  Even John, the least sociable of his siblings and apparently with an allergy to small-talk, had made two attempts to reach him over the last few days.  And there, right at the bottom, one single attempt from his father to make contact shortly after his initial heat.  He wondered how the call would have gone.  Would he have received congratulations for making it to the final or would he have had to justify his second place finish?  It was too late to speculate now.  His coach was rapping impatiently on the door; it was time to head to the pool for the race of his life.  

The changing area was filled with the incomprehensible babble of a multitude of languages.  Old rivals sat alongside new upstarts.  Gordon plugged in his earphones in an attempt to drown out the sound and get into the zone.  He had been competing for long enough to know what worked for him; even his coach knew better than to try and intrude at this point.  The familiar playlist hammered into his head as he leant back against the cool tiles.  Eyes closed.  Breathing regulated by the sound of the beat.  He waited to be called through for his race.

The playlist wasn’t working.  He wasn’t normally prone to nerves but this was the big one, the race everyone had been talking about.  From the early whispers as a kid on the junior circuit through to actual squad selection the word ‘Olympics’ had never been far away.  This was the dream.  This would be his defining moment.  It was as if none of his other achievements mattered.  This was what he had been training for all these years.  Everything else was just a warm up.  

He checked his phone one last time.  Nothing new.  Of course there wasn’t, everyone would be up on the balcony already but it gave his hands something to do.  Every muscle felt jittery.  The announcement that it was time to go pool side had him bouncing up as though the starting gun itself had gone off.

xoxoxox

Alan practically hung over the balcony rail, straining to see the far end of the pool where the competitors would be making their entrance near the starting blocks.

A heavy hand on his shoulder pulled him back and stopped him leaning out too far.  

“Steady there.  He’ll be out soon enough.  Don’t want you going into the water.”

Alan huffed at Scott but complied, sitting heavily back in his seat, eyes roving to the big screen that was showing a shot of the top end of the pool.  It was difficult to be patient when his brother would soon be competing in an Olympic final.  For most of the spectators it was just another race in the session but for the Tracys it was personal.  

It wasn’t just Alan that fidgeted with impatience though, there was an air of barely repressed excitement running through the family group, the atmosphere in the venue just served to increase the tension.  This was a big medals day in the pool and Team USA had already added a gold and two bronze to their total haul.  The swimming squad was representing their country well and showing that USA was a sporting force to be reckoned with.

A cheer rippled through the venue as the athletes entered.  A kaleidoscope of tracksuits parodying the flags and emblems of their nations appeared at the top end of the pool.  The yellow and green of Australia shone out amongst the variants of red, white and blue worn by the representatives of USA, Russia and France.  Eights athletes filed in to take their place on the seat behind their block.  Eight bodies jiggled legs and stretched out arms and shoulders.  Take a drink.  Adjust goggles.  An array of displacement activities and rituals as each competitor did what was needed to mentally prepare themselves for the task ahead.

At a signal from the officials eight figures stood and disrobed, exposing honed muscles and expanded shoulders.  Gordon, placed in lane six after his narrow inclusion in the final, bounced on the balls of his feet.  Slightly shorter than the average swimmer in the line up he was dwarfed by the Norwegian in lane five, his neighbour in the pool towered a good eight inches above the young American.  

There was no holding Alan back now and even his more self-controlled family were leaning forward against the railing to get a better view than that already offered by their front row seats.  Eyes were fixed on the distant figure fifty meters away at the far end of the pool.  

Giving a start of realisation and guilt that he had almost forgotten Alan dug into his backpack, pulling out the banner he had cajoled Virgil into painting.  He shoved the two ends into the hands of Scott and John who proceeded to tie it to the balcony so it could be seen hanging down from the guard rail.  It was impossible to read the expressions of the swimmers from this distance but Alan swore he could see Gordon turn and smile in their direction.  Whether this was true or not the others couldn’t tell but their squid certainly seemed to gain an air of calm after the banner was unfurled.

A further signal from the officials had the competitors stepping up on to their blocks.  Silence descended over the crowd.  

Poised.  

Taut.  

Ready.

The starting gun had eight figures launching into the water with enviable grace and speed.  

Stroke.  Glide.  Breathe.  Repeat.  Each competitor found their rhythm and gave the performance of their life.  

Ordinarily the pack would form a V shape.  An arrowhead through the water as those that had won their heats were graced with the more desirable centre lanes.  

Today was no ordinary day.

Today was the day Gordon Tracy dredged into reserves he barely knew he had.  Start strong, stay strong, end strong.  There was no let up in his pace and determination.  Focus and rhythm aligned.  The arrowhead was broken.  Soon the commentary was focussed on lane six and the seventeen year old competing in his first Olympics.  

Cheers erupted from the Tracy section as the swimmers reached the final board and triggered the timing pads.  From their seats aligned with the end of the pool they were in the perfect position to see Gordon hit home in first place.

For the swimmers in the water the rankings were less clear cut.  Without the benefit of a grandstand view eight sets of eyes were focussed on the board awaiting the final results.  Moments stretched into eternity as they waited for the official times.

1 USA GORDON TRACY 1:44.20 WR

There, on the first line of the board was the confirmation of not only his success but an achievement surpassing all hopes.  A world record.

The family watched as down in the water Gordon shook hands over the lane dividers with the swimmers to left and right.  He was a sportsman to the core and he congratulated those who had provided stiff competition.  Only then did he turn and wave to the balcony, acknowledging the family that had supported him through years of training then followed him to the opposite end of the Earth to witness his crowning glory.  The cameras tracked between the Tracy in the pool and the Tracys in the stand, capturing their moment of shared joy for eternity.

xoxoxox

The fluttering feeling in his stomach was off-putting to say the least and probably wasn’t helped by the two celery crunch bars and a glucose tablet he had inhaled after getting out the water, he knew they were needed after his intense energy usage though.  The last time he’d tried to skip the obligatory post-race refuel he had nearly taken a header off the podium as his blood sugars crashed.  He wondered if throwing up on an official was more embarrassing than fainting on them.  

The call to head out to the podium soon put a stop to the nerves as he was ushered back pool-side between the other two medallists.  This time there was no escaping the fact that all eyes were on him but there was no performance required; the joy spread across his face was pure and true.  This was the culmination of years of early morning training sessions.  Gym, yoga, vitamins, nutrition schedules.  Every missed party.  Every rejected invitation to go bowling.  The sacrifices he had made had come together to create one perfect moment.  

The medal, the anthem, the flowers; everything played out as he had imagined.  The flash of a thousand camera bulbs only partly responsible for the tears in his eyes.

His dream. 

Complete.

[zeravmeta]

Contraband

As promised, here’s my ficlet. its about Gudako accidentally terrorizing some poor mage

The Magus Association was coming in for their regular check on Chaldea. Which meant that Gudako was under explicit orders by Da Vinci to be on her best behavior, and by extension all the servants.

She’d been warned of the fact that Chaldea was already on thin ice with the Magus Association for saving the world from Goetia where they couldn't, something Gudako found ridiculous, but her history with Mages had already shown them to be petty to an extreme not even most servants were capable of. In any case, her task was simple: show the inspector around the second archive to inspect their magical inventory. The servants were all in their rooms and out of the way, and there were no recent accidents or property damage. Easy enough.

What she didn't account for was the inspector almost immediately popping a vein over their inventory.

“Do you KNOW what this is!?” Karl Zeplus, as he had haughtily introduced himself, had not taken more than ten steps before falling over himself. In his hands he very carefully held a Jeweled Sword Zelretch, doing his best to not move to much for fear of dropping it.

Gudako didn’t understand.

“Um, that’s just a Jeweled Sword Zelretch? What’s the problem?”

That was apparently the wrong question to ask, as the Mage turned several shades red.

“Just? JUST a Jeweled Sword-!? This is one of the personal Mystic Codes of the Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, one of the most infamous Magus out there and can only be-!" He paused at her phrasing. "Wait, what do you mean a sword?” Karl promptly exploded and deflated in one breath.

“Well, we have more than one?” Gudako started as she walked over to a nearby crate and opened the cover. Inside, the Mage was witness to a full box of jeweled swords, all pulsating with power. “I still don’t follow.”

“What-HOW!?” Karl was shocked. How could this low ranking Cause have such an artifact? How could she have so many!? Did Zelretch support Chaldea from the shadows? Was there an internal leak within the Association? The reports received from Chaldea had indicated that the late Romani Archaman was responsible for the resolution of the Grand Order, but was that just a cover up? What could be going on-?

“I mean, they're cool but also kinda outclassed by some of the other stuff in here, so I don't see what's wrong.” Gudako idly stated as she picked one up and lightly slashed empty air with it, leaving a flowing arc of mana to fly a few feet into the air to dissipate. Karl felt one of his eyes twitch. Outclassed?

“So...can we continue?” The child had asked, looking up at him. Well, these inquiries could continue later.

“Y-Yes, let’s continue…” He squeaked out, barely finding his feet to follow.

Gudako could tell that something was wrong with him, but didn’t know what. Was this Zelretch guy important or something?

“Well, this is where we keep some of the more mundane mystic codes.” Gudako had pointed to an unsorted pile of equipment haphazardly laying on a table.

“Hmph. This should be better organized” Karl chided as he started to sort through them. Unknown to Gudako, he was having several panic attacks all at once.

‘What is with this collection of weapons!? There are some usual ones like those black keys and hydra daggers, but Fragarch, the Fraga Families ancestral weapon? The Yggdmillennia’s personal Bronze-Link Manipulator? A red staff…?’ Karl held the strange, childish looking staff up before he felt is wriggle in his grasp. Gasping, he dropped it.

“Huh? Oh, didn’t know we had an extra Magical Ruby. This can be useful later.” Gudako nonchalantly said as she swiped it from his hand and pocketed it. He would have scolded her for that action but his attention was brought to the silver vial he ended up grabbing.

“...Gudako. Is this a Volumen Hydrargyrum?” Karl asked calmly, turning to her.

“Is that how it’s pronounced? I always just call it-”

“Gudako. Do you understand that this is one of the most powerful modern achievements of Magecraft, created by and solely for the use of the Archibald Family? Do you?” Karl loomed over her, his expression crossed somewhere between anger and mania.

“...Yes?” Gudako wasn’t really scared of his expression, having dealt with more dangerous individuals daily, but she figured she could stand to not have the man explode once more. It probably wasn’t healthy for him.

“I don’t believe you do, but I absolutely must know. Where did you get all of these weapons?” Karl, while inspecting inventories, was also part of investigating the truth behind Chaldea. Even if the reports about Romani were likely to be true, all of these weapons from several different, high ranking Magus families painted a very different story.

“Oh, those are from summoning.” Gudako’s expression told him that she expected that to answer everything.

It very much did not.

“Summoning? As in the Chaldea Summon System?”

“Yeah, that thing.” She confirmed, and explained no further.

Karl was very much ready to head home, and hang himself in his workshop. Or maybe feed himself to some of the Chimeras he had recently acquired. Maybe feed Gudako to them instead.

“Well, while I have many, MANY more questions, I figure we should finish whatever this…” Karl didn’t finish and continued onwards.

Well, that probably wasn’t good. Ah well, Gudako figured it’d all work out.

“This is where we keep the special essences. Most of this equipment count as Craft Essences but these essences are like moments in time captured in a picture.” Gudako explained as she held up what looked to be several images of vaguely historical events.

The explanation flew over Karls head as he stared at the Mona Lisa staring right back at him.

“Oh, this is where it was! I’ve been looking for it…” Gudako went beside him and picked up the portrait, holding it below her arm and moving it to another part of the room.

Karl, starting to feel numb from the multiple shocks, simply decided to continue surveying. He noted the motorcycle strewed about, a replica of Gae Bolg (probably), a strange glowing blue cube that kept yelling ‘BB Channel!’, some strange vials labeled ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’, and…

A Holy Grail. Right there. Perfectly unguarded. Pulsating with magic power, though weirdly shaded at certain points.

Karl felt a surge of excitement rush through him. Could he take it…? It was right here.

The Zeplus family wasn’t very highly ranked amongst the Magus families, barely a second generation lineage. This Grail could change that. Yes, he could take it! He could use it to destroy these fools who dared think they could tempt him with all these artifacts! To hell with it! He would take it and-

And witness Gudako beating him to it.

“Sweet, a Black Grail.”

Karl numbly witnessed Gudako destroy his prospects of rising amongst the dredges of the lower families by grabbing it  and absentmindedly tossing the Grail into an unmarked box.

“Just two more and I can...Um, Karl, are you alright? You look kinda…” Gudako trailed off, unsure of how to proceed with him.

He was livid. Furious. Apoplectic with rage. This child was so idiotic. This child, this unwashed vermin who barely qualified as human, with no magic crest or notable lineage to them, had just ruined a chance the Zeplus family had at rising amongst their peers.

This child would pay. This child would pay dearly for daring to-

“Oh hey, is this that Zelretch guy you were talking about? It has his name on it. I never noticed, actually.” Gudako presented a card to him. Karl barely managed to look down at it before all his rage immediately faded into fear.

The visage of the Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg was present before him, but that wasn’t cause for concern. What was cause for concern was the fact that he could feel the barely restrained power within that card. What was it?

“...Gudako.” Karl managed in a clipped tone. “What is that.”

“It’s called a Kaleidoscope, or KScope for short.” She smiled at him. He felt like strangling her. “Da Vinci tried explaining to me about how it’s apparently a manifestation of True Magic or something but…” Karl didn’t hear past this part.

True Magic. In her hands, this child had True Magic that they could use to literally recreate reality. The True Magic wielded by Zelretch that let him draw power from other worlds and realities. The Second Magic, right here in literal arms reach.

He had enough. He marched over to her and grabbed her arm.

“Hey!” Gudako’s cry went ignored.

“Alright! Listen to me, you unwashed mongrel, you will turn over ALL these articles to-”

“And just who do you think you are calling a mongrel, mongrel?” A third, male voice had cut in, laced with venom.

Karl craned their neck up to see a shirtless man with golden hair and red eyes that looked ready to eviscerate him.

A servant?

“Gilgamesh! What are you doing out of your room? I thought I asked you to stay in for today! Did you run out of wine again?” Gudako turned to him, completely ignoring Karl as she effortlessly got out of his grip.

He was convinced that she was aiming to piss him off.

“Do not ignore me, child-!” He reached over to grab her again and was promptly met with multiple weapons burying themselves near him.

“Listen to me, Magus, your very presence insults me. Were it up to me I would have ripped you apart for daring to exist in my presence, but lucky for you, Da Vinci asked us to pick you up. Your investigation time is up.”

“Us?”

Behind Gilgamesh, Karl saw various different servants. All wielding their weapons. Looking at him like a target to slaughter.

“What the- Did none of you listen to me?” Gudako exclaimed, looking over the crowd.

“Ah, C’mon kid, you can’t seriously expect us to listen to you all the time. It’s no fun that way.” Beowulf casually strolled in, putting an arm around Gudako and casting a sideways, murderous glance at Karl.

“Yeah, who knows what could happen. Knowing you, you’d find a way to detonate all the explosives in here.” Hans cut in, tapping away on his tablet.

“No I wouldn’t!”

“Need I remind you of the Love Potion Incident?” Hans arced an eyebrow.

“THAT WAS FERGUS’ FAULT AND YOU KNOW IT!!!” Gudako shrieked at the shorter man, blushing furiously.

Karl couldn’t handle this anymore. He briefly considered turning around and swallowing a Volumen vial and downing it with some hydra poison before he felt something latch onto his arm. He looked down to see a fox woman holding onto him, digging her very sharp nails into his arm and giving him a particularly vicious smile.

“If you could follow me, we could take you to meet up with Da Vinci and all have a nice, private conversation.”

“Well, I-” Karl felt another set or arms grab his other side and felt the immediate need to escape.

“Now now, don’t keep the Director of Chaldea waiting. Maybe we could even teach you some manners about personal space.” A vampiric woman purred near his ear, faintly hearing the gnashing of fangs.

“But-”

“Stop wasting time and let’s go already. If we’re late for this meeting then we’ll miss our chance to pick for movie night and I don’t want to sit through another rom-com.” A dark haired woman glared at him, her glowing blue eyes glaring at him. Karl tried his best to pretend to not notice her thumbing the knife in her red jacket pocket.

“..Yes, let’s go.” Karl figured he may as well accept his fate and walk away with dignity. A dignity that was robbed when the two women effortlessly picked him up and carried him out.

“Um, see you later Karl?” Gudako called out uneasily, seeing the mob of servants pile around him and carry him away, leaving her alone. Eh, he’d live. Probably.

She let a few seconds pass before sighing audibly. “Alright, you guys could come out now.”

Gudako heard a few distinctive thumps of mass and a large, armored hand plant itself on her shoulder.

“You should be more wary, contractor. That man aimed to harm you. The only reason he yet breathes is because thou asked me to show restraint to...guests.” King Hassan looked down at her, blue flames flickering and occasionally turning red.

“Ah c’mon Gramps, I was fine.” She looked over at the various other Assassin class servants gathered around.

“Yeah, not gonna believe that. Had Goldie not intervened when he did I’d probably have cut his hand off myself.” Yan Qin jovially added, as if he wasn’t talking about horribly dismembering someone.

“...Be more careful. Mages are dangerous and unforgiving.” Kiritsugu whispered lightly, cleaning his knife.

“...Yeah, I know they are. But it’s fine. You guys’ll protect me no matter what.” She smiled softly at the man.

“You really are too carefree, master. Let us hope that Da Vinci or the others don’t murder that man for trying to threaten you. Hopefully she can proceed without issue now that he completed his inspection.” Danzou added.

“...Did Da Vinci plan on having the mage lose his temper with me and having an excuse to not invite any more of them over? Is that why all of you were here when only one of you would have been needed?” Gudako asked, suddenly suspicious of how carefree most of them were when a minute ago she was in danger. She remembered how some of them had planned a heist on a hospital from when she had a broken finger from a fall. Overprotective to the point of lunacy.

There was silence for a few seconds before they all vanished using their Presence Concealment.

“Of course…” Gudako sighed, entirely used to this type of chaos.

-

Unbeknownst to her, the Magus Association would receive the report of one Karl Zeplus, who had stated that Chaldea had no suspicious weapons or equipment. About two weeks later, he would retire from his job and move to America, taking all his assets and staying far away from the Associations reach, never to be heard from again.

While there was suspicion of a cover up, most of the files that had been received were somehow lost in a fire on the archive. The received documents had been noted to have some strange type of magecraft applied to them in order to reveal more information, and were placed in the archive for further review in the coming weeks. A nearby Magus was accused of having started the fire to damage some earlier records but nothing has been confirmed. There were reports however of a suspicious looking man seemingly warping into and out of the archive.

Reading over some of the redacted inventory and investigation reports he managed to smuggle, which Karl Zeplus had secretly modified as a cry for help, Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, the Kaleidoscope himself, found himself rolling on the floor with laughter.

[starryknight09]

Whatever It Takes Ch. 16/?

Summary:  Peter’s struggling to cope after the loss of Mr. Stark. Everyone keeps telling him it’ll get better and that he needs to move on, but Peter doesn’t want to. He can’t envision a life without his mentor. So when an idea comes to him, he doesn’t hesitate, no matter how crazy it is. He’s going to get Mr. Stark back.

“What exactly are we going to do?” Ned asked.

“Whatever it takes.” Peter answered.

Read on AO3.

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Peter wouldn’t exactly call the week trapped in the lake house while being forced to talk to about his feelings every day, a good week. Sure, he got to spend a lot of time with Tony, but it was overshadowed by his bad mood about therapy.  Talking about his emotions and digging up stuff he’d tried to bury, left him constantly drained and raw, and lacking his usual patience.  He’d definitely snapped at Tony more than a couple times, something he never would’ve dreamed of doing before.  Tony, to his credit, took it all in stride.  He somehow seemed to have a sixth sense about when to push and when to give him space.

Right now he seemed to be giving him some space.  Peter had finished his hour long session with Ruth this morning and instead of seeking Tony out, he’d gone straight to his room and thrown himself onto his bed.  It’d been a particularly rough session.  It was only his fifth time meeting with her, but her questions and their discussions had gotten progressively tougher throughout the week.  He thought he’d at least get the weekend off to take a break, but at the end of their session he’d found out that Ruth was coming back tomorrow even though it was Saturday.

Between the continued nightmares, the exhausting mandatory therapy sessions and the weakness he felt every time he swallowed the antidepressant the psychiatrist had prescribed after meeting with him, which Tony and Bruce had needed to specially formulate for his metabolism, Peter just wanted a break from it all.  He wanted a weekend to not have to analyze his actions or think about his stupid feelings. He shoved his head into his pillow and tried not to cry.

A rap of knuckles on his bedroom door came a short while later.

“Hey Pete.” Tony’s voice carried softly through the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” He said into his pillow, but loud enough for Tony to hear.

The door cracked open and Peter heard Tony walk over to his side and sit on the edge of the bed.  He rested a hand on his back a second later.

“I just got done talking to Ruth.  She told me you had kind of a hard time this morning.”

He shrugged.  He didn’t trust his voice not to give him away if he tried to talk.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tony asked, hand rubbing circles over his back.  It just made him want to cry more.

He shook his head.  He was so sick of talking.  

“Ok.  Is it all right if I sit with you?”

He nodded.

Another couple of minutes passed in silence.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk?” Tony asked again.

He nodded.

“Can I talk?”

He nodded again, face still stubbornly smooshed into his pillow.

“Ok.  So I have some good news and some bad news.  What do you want to hear first?”

“Good news.” He mumbled.

“Pepper and I signed the paperwork for the new apartment in New York this morning, so we’re moving this weekend.” Tony said.  That’d been fast.  Peter had heard them discussing things throughout the week and Happy had kept him company when Tony had needed to leave a couple times to go to New York, but he hadn’t known they’d actually picked a place.  Or that you could actually buy something and move in that quickly.  Must be a perk of being a billionaire.

“You’re going to love it.” Tony said, and Peter could hear the smile in his voice.  He was sure he would.

“What’s the bad news?” He asked.

Tony sighed.  “Ruth thinks you should take one more week off of school.”

Peter pushed up off the pillow and gave Tony a look of utter betrayal.  “No.”

“Pete—”

“No no no.  I need to go back to school.  I-I can’t keep doing this.  I’m so tired of it.  It’s not helping.  I just want to get back to normal.” He pleaded.  “I don’t want to do this anymore.  PleaseTony.”

Tony pulled him against his chest as he shushed him. “Shh kid.  It’s all right.”

Peter tried to hold back his small hiccupping sobs. “But I don’t want to.  I don’t want to.  Please.  I want to go back to school.”

“I know, but it’s only one more week.”

“I can’t.” He shook his head.  “I can’t.  It’s not even helping.”

“Yes it is buddy.  I know it might not feel like it right now, but it is.”

“No it’s not.  It’s not. It’s making everything so much worse.” He denied frantically, but he knew Tony didn’t believe him.

“Shh.  Take a breath for me.”

Peter managed to calm down somewhat.  Once he had, Tony kissed the top of his head.

“I know it’s been hard but I’m proud of you.” Tony told him.  “And I understand you want to go back to school, but Ruth thinks we should give it one more week.”

Before Peter could protest again, he added, “And I do too. This is hard and it’s stressful and trying to concentrate and do well in school while stirring up all this stuff isn’t setting yourself up for success, and that isn’t fair to you.  Ok?”

Peter didn’t like it, but he sniffled and nodded.  What Tony said was true.  He really couldn’t imagine trying to pay attention in school while he felt like this.

“Good boy.” Tony mumbled and pressed a kiss against his hair.  From anyone else that kind of phrase would’ve pissed him off, but Tony said it with such endearment that he couldn’t even muster annoyance.

He shut his eyes and held Tony.  He just wanted to be back to normal and he didn’t understand why it was so hard to get there.  Or why he had to suffer by dredging up things like his loss of the last five years along with things that seemed completely unrelated, but equally painful, like the loss of his parents and Ben’s death.  But since he didn’t know how to voice all these thoughts to Tony, he could barely do it with the therapist, he just held him.  And hoped things would start to get better.

“FRIDAY pull up my suit footage from the final battle with Thanos.” Tony instructed.  Pepper, Morgan, and Peter were all asleep, but he hadn’t been able to achieve rest himself, so he’d gone down to the workshop and finally decided to do what he’d been putting off.

“FRIDAY.” He said again when nothing happened.

“Are you sure Boss?” She asked hesitantly.

“Yes.  Pull it up.” He said even though he was anything but sure.  There was a reason he hadn’t watched the recording of his own death. The idea of it made him anxious. Afterall, who would ever want to be glaringly confronted with their own mortality like that?  And even though he knew he wasn’t dead, he was fine, Peter had prevented his death, another him hadn’t been so lucky.  But if Peter was still struggling because of it then he owed it to him to view it, especially after what Ruth had shared with him that morning.

“Dr. Cohen is requesting to speak with you Boss.” FRIDAY said, interrupting his work on the hologram screen in front of him.

“Ok.” He frowned and stood.  “Tell her I’ll be right there.”

It wasn’t an unusual request, but usually they touched base over brief phone conversations instead of face to face.  He climbed up the stairs to the main floor above.

“Ruth.” He greeted Ruth as he walked into the living room. “You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes.  I’m sorry to bother you Mr. Stark.” She said while she finished putting her things away in her satchel.

“It’s no problem.”

“Before I left, I just wanted to let you know that this morning’s session was particularly hard on Peter today.  We talked about his uncle’s death and…yours.  You might want to check in on him.” Ruth advised.

Tony sucked in a breath.  “Ok.  I will.”

She nodded and started to walk out.

“Um before you go.  One question.” Tony spoke up, wanting to ask something he’d been wondering about.  “His nightmares?  Have you two talked about them?  He said they’re about my death.”

Ruth nodded.  “We have.  Your loss was very difficult for him.  Understandably so.  And I don’t pretend to comprehend how you’re back with us Mr. Stark, but what you have to understand is that what Peter witnessed was very traumatic.  When viewed in the perspective of his past losses, it just makes it that much worse.”

Tony pulled his glasses off to rub at his suddenly aching eyes. Right.  Peter had lost his parents, then he’d lost his uncle who was as good as a father to him, and then Tony.  And Tony liked to think they had a sort of father-son relationship.

“He witnessed his uncle’s death.” Ruth added.  “Did you know that?”

Tony snapped his head up, answer clear on his face. He hadn’t.  He’d known Peter’s uncle had died, had been shot, and that was part of the motivation behind why the kid had done what he had with Spiderman, but he hadn’t known the details.  Peter rarely mentioned Ben, and Tony had never pushed.  He’d allowed the paucity of details surrounding the event, and Ben in general, since he’d known the loss was still too fresh and too painful for Peter.

“He watched his uncle die in front of him and then he had to go through a similar experience with you.  Both deaths were very violent.  Very gruesome.  From what I’ve been told.” Ruth explained.  “It’s no wonder he’s having a hard time.  Having nightmares about it.”

“Jesus.” He stabbed at his eyes again, but for a different reason this time.  He’d never meant to make his kid go through that.  He’d give anything to take it back.

“I don’t…remember.” Tony said when he caught Ruth watching him expectantly.  Even though she was on the Avengers payroll, he couldn’t explain how he’d gone from dead as a doornail to alive and standing in front of her.  He could only imagine the kind of chaos that would erupt if the general public found out it was possible to go back in time and bring a dead loved one forward and essentially resurrect them.

“It’s…surprising to me that before me, he’d never talked to anyone about his uncle’s death, given how traumatic it was for him.” Ruth said. “Instead of dealing with it, he buried it deep down and distracted himself with Spiderman and somehow managed to continue on.  Most people wouldn’t have been able to do that.  He’s a very resilient kid.”

“He is.” Tony agreed.  The kid was the strongest person he’d ever met and that was saying something since he personally knew all the Avengers.  

“But a mind can only take so much before it can’t cope anymore.” Ruth said softly.  “And I think your death was that point.”

“I never wanted to leave him.” He explained softly.

“I know.” Ruth said and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I did all of it for him.”

That earned a quirk of Ruth’s lips.

“I mean I know I’m supposed to say I did it for the good of the world and everything, but…I didn’t.  I did it for him.” He probably shouldn’t admit that but the words just flowed out.

“Understandable.” Ruth nodded.  “He’s your son.  And there’s no greater loss than the loss of a child.  And you found a way to fix that.”

Tony sighed.  “It was all for him, but now he’s…”

Ruth patted his shoulder to placatingly.  “He’ll be ok.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he has you.  And he has an aunt that loves him.  And he has your wife and your daughter.  And many others from what I hear.  An entire support network of people that care about him.”

Tony nodded.

“That’s what he needs.  For all of you to be there for him, supporting him.  And time.  He just needs some time to heal.”

“Ok.  I can do that.  We can do that.”

“I know.” Ruth graced him with a smile.  “He’ll get through it and be all the better for it.”

“Thank you.” Tony said.

She gave him a nod.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye doc.” He said and watched her walk out.

He stood in the center of the living room, staring at the wall and gave himself exactly five minutes to deal with his own maelstrom of emotions before he got himself back under control and walked upstairs to be with his kid.

The words Ruth had used to describe his death, violent and gruesome, echoed in his mind as FRIDAY started projecting the scene of the final battle in front of him.  He clenched his jaw and watched.  He owed it to Peter to see what he’d seen, to be able to better understand what his kid was struggling with.  And he owed it to Pepper and Rhodey and everyone else that had been there and suffered watching him die.  

On the screen he watched as he fought with Thanos.  He remembered this part.  It was right before Peter had appeared out of nowhere and whisked him away to bring him forward in time.  As he kept watching, he recognized the exact moment Peter had intervened.  Everything after it was new.  He had no memory of it.  It hadn’t happened to him.  To this him.

He watched with bated breath as he kept fighting Thanos. It wasn’t going well.  The titan took out Steve and Thor and then Captain Marvel.  All he could think was where was everyone else?  Wanda? Strange?  Anyoneelse that could’ve helped?  But no one else showed up.  And then it was only him and the ugly oversized grape.

He watched as he fell to the ground and caught Dr. Strange’s eye from across the battlefield.  The man shakily raised a single finger.  One.  The one they win.  And he knew what it meant, just like the other Tony on the video must have.  It was up to him.  He knew what he had to do.  

He and Thanos fought viciously.  Thanos finally got ahold of the gauntlet and Tony wrestled with it, but on the screen he appeared to lose as he was flung backward.

“I…am…inevitable.” The asshole spoke, voice sending shivers down Tony’s spine as he watched with wide eyes as Thanos snapped the gauntlet. But…nothing happened.

He frowned and then he was staring at himself as he revealed the stones he’d swiped from the gauntlet with his nanotech.  He watched as he fell to his knees and threw his head back as the power coursed through him.  The intensity of his eyes, the victory, the despair, made him clench his jaw tight.  He wanted to look away, but he didn’t.

“And I…am…Ironman.” His voice said.  Tony watched as he closed his eyes on the screen and snapped.

If he thought it was hard to watch that, the rest was worse.

After he’d somehow lowered himself to the ground, Rhodey got to him first.  God. Rhodey.  His best friend.  And he was so hurt he couldn’t even speak.  He sat against the rubble and stared, there but not really there.  His entire right side including his face was darkened, charred from the force of wielding the stones.  Snapping the gauntlet had hurt the Hulk, so of course it’d irreparably damaged him.  Tony didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of that before.  When he’d been told he’d snapped, he kind of assumed it’d been instant death.  Or maybe there hadn’t even been a body to recover, but on the screen, he was still alive, but dying.

Peter was next.  Peter.  His kid. The devastation in his eyes as he tried to comfort him even as he cried, crushed his heart.  Peter had lived this.  And even though this series of events hadn’t come to pass now because of Peter, the memories of it hadn’t been erased from his kid’s head.  Or Rhodey’s.  Or Pepper’s.  Anyone’s.

Pepper.  She was last. A part of him was terribly glad he got to be with her at the end no matter how much it had probably hurt her.

She knelt down and whispered, “Hey.”

“Hey Pep.” He somehow managed to whisper back.  It was right that his last word was her name.

She touched his chest.  “FRIDAY?”

“Life functions critical.” FRIDAY reported sadly.

“Tony.  Look at me.” She ordered.  His eyes tried to follow the command, but he could tell he was fading fast.

“We’re going to be ok.” She reassured, looking so strong. “You can rest now.”

His head sagged to the side, and in the next few seconds he watched the light leave his own eyes as he let go and faded away.  The recording didn’t stop when he died.  He watched Pepper kiss his cheek and lose all her composure as she laid her head on his chest and sobbed.  Behind her, Peter and Rhodey cried.  And as everyone else, including the rest of the Avengers, came over and realized what happened, they each hit their knees one by one, grief apparent on all their faces.  

“Off FRIDAY.” His voice came out so strangled it was incomprehensible.  He swallowed down his all encompassing grief and ordered hoarsely, “Turn it off.”

The video screen blinked to black.

He’d died.  And even though he’d saved the universe, he’d hurt so many people he loved by leaving them behind.  He struggled to process it.  He’d died…but at the same time he hadn’t.  Because of Peter.  His insanely amazing kid.  He’d been given a second chance.  He wasn’t going to waste it.

“Mr. Parker we need a decision on this now.” The man at the head of the table said, obviously frustrated with him.

“What?” Peter frowned.  He sat on the opposite end of the long conference table.  Both sides of it were filled with men in business suits, all staring at him.

“We need an answer on this.” The man stated and pointed to the PowerPoint slide on the screen projected behind him.

“Um…” Peter blinked and tried to squint to see the screen, but all the letters and figures on it were too blurry.  “I can’t…  I can’t read it.”

“Why don’t you try putting on your glasses.” A man to his right said, not very kindly, as he indicated a glasses case sitting on the table in front of Peter.

But he didn’t wear glasses.  He hadn’t needed to since the spider bite.  But then why couldn’t he see the screen a mere twenty feet away from him?

“Right.” He mumbled as he picked up the case and opened it. Instead of his usual dorky glasses, it held a pair of Tony’s tech glasses.

He shook his head.  “These aren’t mine.  These are Tony’s.”

The man to his right scoffed.  “They’re yours now.  Tony’s dead, kid.  Or did you forget?  I don’t see how you could have since he left you everything.”

Peter looked up in shock.  He could read the board now even without the glasses.  It was a Stark Industries proposal.

“Can you put the stupid glasses on so we can get an answer already Parker?  Or just let us decide.  That’d probably be for the best since you’ve been doing such a bang up job of running this company.” The man scowled.

“Yeah, right into the ground.” Another man mumbled.

“I-I-” Peter didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t know what the question was or what decision he had to make.  He could read the slide in front of him, but he couldn’t make any sense of it.

He abruptly stood from the cushioned rolling chair and glanced down.  He was wearing a business suit just like everyone else in the room.  They all stared at him, expectant but annoyed looks on their faces.  Why was he here?  He couldn’t do this.  He turned and ran.

Their voices followed him out into the hallway.

“Where’s he going?”

“What the hell?”

“He’s no Tony Stark.”

That one hurt.  No, he wasn’t.  He knew he wasn’t.  Why had Tony ever thought he could do this?  Why had Tony left him?  He sprinted down the hallway.  He needed to get out.  He needed to escape.  He needed to find…Pepper, or May, or Happy, or someone to help him.

He turned to look behind him to see if anyone had followed him.  No one had. But as he did, his feet somehow got tangled together and he crashed shoulder first onto the carpet.

When he opened his eyes, he wasn’t in the office anymore. He was lying curled up on his side on the dirt ground.  Aliens and madness flew all around him.  He held the gauntlet desperately close to his chest.  He needed to get it somewhere.  Or he was supposed to give it to someone?  To-to Captain Marvel.  But she wasn’t hovering above him like he’d been expecting her to be for some reason. Instead, Tony stood there in his Ironman armor, helmet retracted.  Peter could see the line of blood trailing down the ride side of his face.

“Hey kid.” Tony said, tilting his head and giving him a soft smile.

“Hey.” He said back weakly.

“You got something for me?” Tony asked, giving a small nod toward the gauntlet in Peter’s arms.

But for some reason, Peter didn’t want to give it to him, which was crazy because he trusted Tony more than anyone.  Especially when it came to stuff like this.  Superhero stuff.

“Pete.” Tony said, voice still soft, and it was just the two of them even though it seemed like chaos was literally unfolding all around them.  “Give me the gauntlet.”

He knew he shouldn’t give it Tony, but he couldn’t remember why, just that the very idea felt viscerally wrong.  But this was Tony.  Ironman.  Peter wasn’t going to refuse him.  He uncurled his arms from it and held it out.

Tony took it from him.  “Good work kid.  Now leave the rest to me.”

Tony took several steps back, but he didn’t run with the gauntlet like Peter had expected.  Peter frowned and then watched in frozen horror as Tony placed it on his right hand.

“No!” Peter yelled and thrust an arm out toward him as if he could stop him by that alone.  But it was already too late.  The power of the stones coursed up Tony’s arm, igniting it in majestically terrible colors.

“It’s going to be ok kid.” Tony told him with a calm serenity.

“Don’t!” Peter screamed and tried to jump to his feet, but he couldn’t get up.  It was like he was pinned to the ground.  All his strength had left him.  He could only watch as Tony closed his eyes and snapped his fingers.

His vision erupted in a flash of light.  He tried to shield his eyes with his arms.  When everything faded back to normal, Peter opened his eyes.  Tony sat slumped on the ground a few feet away, his entire right sided burned and blackened, including the armor.

“No.” Peter whispered hoarsely.  Even though he barely felt connected to his body, he managed to get to his hands and knees and crawl to his mentor.

“Tony.” He said, cupping a hand over the man’s unmarred left cheek.  “Tony?”

But Tony didn’t respond, he just stared back at him, and Peter could mark the moment all the intelligence faded from his gaze.

“No.” He cried. “Tony please.  Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

Peter shook his shoulder but all it did was jostle him. His empty expression remained unchanged. It didn’t bring him back to life.

“No.  Please.” He begged.  “Please don’t leave me.  Tony.”

“Pete!” Tony’s voice shattered the dream and brought him back awake.  “Peter!”

Tony sat on the bed, hands shaking Peter’s shoulders.

“I’m right here.” Tony said, and Peter couldn’t quite catch up. Of course he was.  He could see him.

“You were calling for me in your sleep.” Tony explained. Oh.  He remembered.

“You-you left me.” He said through jerky breaths.  He only meant to explain the nightmare, but saying it out loud brought with it an excess of hurt he’d been harboring. Because it was true.  Tony had left him.  He’d chosen to snap the gauntlet.  He’d known what it would mean.  Maybe in the moment he hadn’t thought about how he’d be leaving everyone that loved him behind, leaving Peter behind, but it had happened all the same.

“I’m sorry.” Tony whispered.

“You left me.” He sobbed.  “You left me.”

“I know.  I know. I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.” Tony said as he pulled him into his arms.

Peter wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug as he tried to calm down.

“I didn’t want to leave you.” Tony whispered into his curls.

“How do you know?  You didn’t— You weren’t the one who—” The one who snapped, Peter omitted.

“I know.  Because I didn’t get a chance to do it before you saved me.  But kid, I know there’s no way I’d ever willingly leave you.  No matter what.  Especially after I just got you back.”

Then why’d you do it?  Peter wanted to ask, but this Tony hadn’t actually done it, so he couldn’t do anything except guess the answer, which Peter could do just as well.  He’d done it because he’d had no other choice. Because everyone would’ve died otherwise.  He’d sacrificed everything to save the universe.  Because he was a hero.

Peter concentrated on the sound of Tony’s heartbeat under his ear and focused on the fact that Tony was warm, and breathing, and alive. After a couple minutes, his tears slowed to a halt.

“You-you left me your company.  Why did you do that?” Peter asked because that part of the dream had bothered him almost as much.  And it was a question this Tony could actually answer since he must’ve made the arrangements before the final battle with Thanos.

Tony pulled back so he could look down into his face as he asked, “Why do you think Pete?”

He shrugged.  “Because you think I’m smart?”

Tony scoffed.  “No.  I know plenty of smart people.  I wouldn’t leave them the majority of the shares in my company.  And saying you’re smart is definitely an understatement.”

Tony pressed a kiss to the crown of his head.

“Then why?”

“Because you’re my kid.”

“Morgan’s more your kid.”

“No.” Tony said and shook his head.  “I love you both the same.”

“Not to mention at the time she was four.” Tony kept talking as if he hadn’t just dropped a major bombshell on him.  “And we don’t even know if she’s going to end up liking science. Or wanting to follow in my footsteps. But youkiddo.  You’re the real deal.  You’re like a shinier improved version of me.  Better moral compass definitely.”

Peter twisted his face at that.  He didn’t think that was true.  Tony always saw himself in the worst possible way.

“Say Morgan had grown up and wanted to help run the company. What would you have done?” Tony asked.

“Let her, of course.  What kind of question is that?”

“Just proving my point.” Tony said with a smile.  “Why would I ever need to worry about Morgan with you at the helm?  You’re the best person I know, and I know Captain America.”

Peter blushed and ducked his head.  

“You’re just genuinely good.  Even a little too good sometimes.” Tony paused to fondly brush back his hair before continuing, “You were the right choice Pete.  The only choice.  I’ve second guessed myself on almost everything I’ve done, but the one thing I’ve never second guessed is picking you.  As Spiderman.  As my intern. As my kid.  As my successor.”

Peter’s eyes filled with tears.

“It was always going to be you.” Tony looked at him, eyes soft as he cupped Peter’s face in his hands.  “It still is.”

Peter shocked eyes flew to Tony’s.  “What?”

Tony grinned and let go of his face.

“How else are you going to put that MIT education that I’m paying for to good use?”

“What?  Tony you’re not paying for—”

“And let’s just table that pointless little argument for later.” Tony interrupted.  “So we don’t get sidetracked.”

Peter blinked and tried to refocus, although they’d definitely be revisiting the idea of Tony paying for his schooling.  “You really want me to take over SI for you?”

“Well not now obviously.  You’re only a kid.  You’ve got to grow up first.” Tony tousled his hair with a smile.

“But I’m not you.  I’m no Tony Stark.” Peter gave voice to the anxiety from his dream.  

“No, you’re not,” Tony agreed before he declared, “You’re better.”  

Peter shook his head.  He didn’t agree.  No one was better than Tony.

“But…what if-what if I’m not good enough?”

“You will be.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know,” Tony said and then added, “And you won’t be alone.  Pepper will help you.  And I’ll help you.”

Peter fell forward to wrap Tony in another hug.  Tony returned the embrace and kissed the top of his head again before whispering, “You know I’ll always help you.”

“Please don’t leave me again.” Peter pleaded.

“I’m not going anywhere.  Not if I can help it.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

[theamberfang]

Journal 235: Success and Future

Completion

I have quite a few things to catch up on since I missed out on discussing certain things last night, but I’ll start off with how I successfully finished writing about my playthrough of Mae’s fourth day home in Night of the Woods. Even after thinking about how I’d continue and the way I’d structure the post while mowing the lawn and taking a shower, I didn’t end up blowing it out of proportion in my head. When it came time to write, I didn’t feel like I had expectations that were overwhelmingly impossible to meet. Admittedly, after writing the preface and pasting over the content from yesterday’s journal, I did hit a bit of a speedbump, but some tea helped to get me through (and a second cup to make sure I finished later.)

This little project has actually been turning out a bit differently than I expected: the initial conceit was to have a sort of reaction/review/analysis thing. True, there’s some elements of that, but a lot of what I’m doing is simply recording what I had played in the game. Well, “simply” isn’t fair to myself: I’m also reinterpreting and retelling the events of the game. In a way, what I’ve been doing might be decent practice for story-writing. Of course, I’m quite brief with everything because I’ve already played through it and I expect anyone stumbling into this project already has as well: going into extraordinary detail feels like a waste of time at the moment. Still, I wonder if I can carry this voice I’m developing into a NitW fanfiction or something—I’ll just have to see how I feel by the end of this project.

Otherwise, I do feel like I’m throwing a good amount of personal reactions to stuff as well as some analysis of themes and whatnot. Even if I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing, I’m having enough fun with it. At least one person followed me for it, so at least one other person thinks it’s interesting as well. (Well, it was day three they followed for, but whatever)

Obsession

Which does lead to a growing concern I’ve had: despite turning off the dashboard notifications for them, I keep opening up my blog information to look at recent activity anyway. I don’t want to be so concerned about these internet points; it only serves to make me anxious about the quality of my writing, hoping to impress people so that the numbers go up. All that would do is fuel my perfectionism, which would prevent me from writing any more.

I do think turning off the dash notifications is a good start, but I think I need a more committed effort to combatting this obsession. One extra step I did today was setting the activity tracker back to a 24-hour period, down from a 30-day period. As nice as the graph was to look at, I could feel myself wanting to chase the peak I had achieved a couple of weeks ago. Seeing those highs from so long ago was not helping.

Another idea I’ve had is to somehow restrict how often I’m allowed to click on that activity information tab. I can try either a discreet number of allowed checks, or to have defined time periods where I’m allowed to check it, and times where I restrict myself. A sort of mix could be to specifically schedule times to check the tab. However I do it, the plan would then be to increase my own restrictions until I’m simply not checking it anymore. Based on the way I’ve handled my hunger—from 0800-2000 I’m allowed to eat, and other times I fast—I think I’ll prefer the restricted periods of time; I’ll figure out when exactly those are when I set my schedule/tasks for tomorrow.

Parents

Speaking of problems, I guess I should follow up with my frustrations from yesterday. I’ll admit that I wasn’t wholly fair to my father, since the moment I brought up happened [relatively] shortly after I came out. Indeed, I’m aware that parents can need some time to “grieve” the child that they feel like they’ve lost, and it can be difficult to adjust to a new name because of how it dredges up that pain: the problem is, my father has never moved on past it, and I guess the way I’ve failed to correct him over the years has basically given him tacit approval to keep deadnaming me.

Still, I accurately described how that past exchange went from my own end, and I think I can be forgiven for not wanting to repeat that event. I’m also still frustrated with how my father, evidently, hasn’t done any research into how to deal with a child that has either mental illness or has come out as transgender. I simply provided the explanation above to be fair to my father, but that doesn’t absolve him, and I have not forgiven him for his nonsense.

Today, my mom also asked me about last night; she tried to, charitably, explain that my father was only trying to give me helpful advice—as if impoliteness is the reason I’ve been isolating myself for many of the past years and the reason I’ve been unemployed since dropping out. The truth of the matter is that my father wants me to be polite to him. My read on the situation is that he doesn’t feel like I’m giving him his due respect, as he is the head of the household, the breadwinner keeping the family fed and sheltered. As much as I do appreciate him for providing my basic human needs, it would be right to say that I don’t respect him: just look above to see why. As far as I’m concerned, he’s always behaved narcissistically and self-righteously: he’s never wrong and he never apologizes. I’m genuinely unsure if he takes care of my mom and me out of familial love or out of social obligation and how he would look bad if he didn’t.

I didn’t say that to my mother though, staying silent and expressing my displeasure at the very idea that his idea would have been helpful. She went on to tell me: “don’t let it get to you.” In other words, as she’s literally said to me before: “it’s all in your head.” These platitudes are not helpful when dealing with mental illness. As I’ve seen expressed on my dashboard before, saying “it’s just in your head” is like telling someone with a broken leg “the pain is just in your leg.” If I could stop things from getting to me, I wouldn’t be mentally ill: I’d have to be mentally healthy to do what she is asking of me. She’s asking a person with a broken leg to “walk it off.”

Again, to be fair to her, she grew up in the Philippines decades ago. The concept of mental illness there, especially from her time, was really bad. In her words, people with mental illness were only considered “crazy,” so it makes sense that she doesn’t really know how to handle my issues. She’s also quite computer-illiterate, so unlike my father, I can’t really expect her to do research on these subjects.

It has occurred to me that I might be able to talk to my mom about it, though. It also occurred to me earlier when she was trying to explain my father’s “advice,” but I wasn’t emotionally prepared at that moment. I do generally think she would be receptive if I spoke to her about things: that the conversation wouldn’t blow up into an argument, and that I could even have a conversation on the topic with her multiple times. I haven’t felt confident enough for this sort of endeavor a long time, but I think I’ve reached a point where I can at least try to talk to mom about things that I need to talk about.

My father is a different story though. He’s likely to take anything I have to say as an accusation against him: that I’m blaming him for how I turned out. You see, perhaps the most fundamental problem I see in him is that he’s very individualistic. Unlike my mom, he was born in the United States as a second-generation immigrant. Based on how fervently his father, my grandfather, pushed him into the military, I imagine my grandfather had the patriotic zeal of a religious convert, and it passed down to my father as an intense adherence to “rugged American individualism.” He’s not likely to see how his behavior was only one—if a significant one—factor to the development of my mental illness. I also doubt he believes that I could have possibly been transgender all along, and that I’ve instead made this “choice”—further, he may even think that the lack of apparent effort I’ve put into transitioning shows that I’ve rescinded my “choice.”

Basically, any attempt to talk to my father about my issues is a minefield. Literally every talk I’ve tried to have with him about these things ended up being a shouting match where he just walks off. He never changes his behavior afterwards either. It’s the same thing when he argues with my mom: she tells him off for things, sometimes it explodes into an argument, but at most he’ll only stop the behavior temporarily, because it upsets her. It never sticks because he never thinks that he’s done anything wrong.

It’s why my plan for dealing with him is to write a letter to him. It’s the only option I can think of that will let me feel like I’ve told him what I need to: trying to speak to him is too likely to blow up before I say what I need to. Admittedly, the written word can also end up inciting him enough that he can’t read the whole thing, but at that point, it would have ceased to be my problem. If I write such a letter and either doesn’t read it or decides he doesn’t need to change any of his behavior in response to it, I could still then be confident that I tried my absolute best and can then be free to actively ignore him.

Theme

Moving on from the heavy stuff, I missed out on discussing what I’ve done with my blog’s theme thus far. Evidently, one can mess with a theme’s colors to give a blog light-text on dark. If I had to guess how I came to my previous theme then, it’s simply that the default for that theme was light on dark. There is one tiny problem with this arrangement for this theme though: the color of the “tags” dropdown box doesn’t have any options, so now it’s left as white on white basically. At the moment, I don’t actually care very much about people being able to easily navigate my blog through tags, so it’s not a big deal, but I might be able to search through the html code to do something about it in the future. If I really have to, I can always try other themes... or I could just do black text on white and just deal with that.

I’ve also fiddled around with my blog’s description, since the space for it is so much larger with this theme. I briefly included a sentence in there with my age and transgender identity, but I ended up removing it. It feels weird to me to so prominently display that information; not that I’m ashamed of it or anything. I think what it is... is that I prefer, for now, to have the description focus on the content and purpose of this blog. If I were to include something about my gender identity, I’d rather rewrite the whole thing: lumping it in with my mental illnesses as something I frequently write about doesn’t seem right—being trans isn’t a mental illness.

Even with those concerns, I do think it’s a general improvement. Though, one thing I still haven’t done yet is reblog a long chain of reblogs: that was one of the main reasons I wanted to stop using my old theme. Everything got squeezed into a really narrow space, and the OP in such a chain was often unreadable.

I feel like I had more topics to discuss, but I got myself into another rant about my parents tonight. It was something I needed to get off my chest though, so better out than in I suppose.

Tomorrow’s Tasks

Avoid checking blog activity; 0900-1200

Dance for exercise; 1000

Extended Outlook; 1100

KA: US History; 1400

Habit-free time; 1600

Journal; 2000

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday and a Download for Aligning with the Frequency of Money in All Forms

TGIWednesday News

Well buckle up for "The Gold Coin' audio folks as it’s coming out soon to join our line up of awesome Audio MP3’s. We've gotten some encouraging feedback already from some of our early listeners like this one: "Jimmy, the Gold Coin Guided Meditation is very thorough and empowering! I could feel shifts in my consciousness as I aligned with your statements and intentions, including with investing for the future. I will listen to this often to ensure that I maintain these new frequencies in Body, Mind and Spirit. I feel lighter and unburdened by the stress I’ve been holding about what is in store for me, and I feel I can relax and trust Spirit to show me the way. Thank you, Jimmy! - Charlotte S. / Florida Some of my audio MP3s that we produce take YEARS.  All of them are about a half hour long and play on a phone, desktop or tablet and all you do is listen to them. A lot of folks after listening a few times play them low in the background of certain rooms, but either way the frequencies and the good good come through via spirit! Topics range from Sex, Sleep and Love to Success, Career, Intuition and so many more.  The Gold Coin audio is about being in vibrational frequency & alignment with MONEY in all forms, savings, investing, insurance, retirement, even crypto, lottery and gaming --  it’s all in there!  You may even hear words or terms you're not familiar with and those are for private traders who will gamble on the stock market from their homes!  But ultimately I want anyone who has even a savings account to save more and make more money and have it flowing in, around and through you!  January is new beginnings and this month’s focus is on setting a foundation for the rest of 2019.  Buckle up because I believe it could be a really prosperous ride!

TGIWednesday Download

~ ALIGNING WITH MONEY IN ALL FORMS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I am aligned with the frequency of all forms of exchange and money. I am ready, willing and able to claim abundance as my birthright and allow spirit to do the heavy lifting. I know when where how and why to have a higher level of comfort and confidence in the presence of all forms of money. I know that spirit will illuminate my financial path and show me the easy, most highly profitable way in all my decisions. As I hear or read this now I am asking for changes in all languages and throughout all lifetimes and so it is.  

Live Shows and Replays

JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713) 955-0594

Imagine getting FREE intuitive messages and healings LIVE!  Well, it happens every week on my radio show with some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in weekly for the FREE live show or replay and YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen to Yesterday's Replay Special Guest  Joanne Leo, Psychic Listen Jan. 15th  Special Guest TIFFANY POWERS Live readings with Tiffany and Healings with Jimmy  https://tiffanypowershealing.com   Listen Jan. 22nd Special Guest KELLY M BALLARD Medium, Intuitive Consultant and Coach https://www.kellymballard.com   Listen Jan. 29th Special Guest REV. DEBBIE DIENSTBIER  Our resident trans medium, communicating with your loved one’s on the other side! Facebook page  

Browse the interview archives here.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

JANUARY 9th - "Today, I will live in the moment.  I will take each minute as it comes and go with the flow of life.  While respecting the past.  I won't dredge it up just to jade the moment.  Instead of worrying about the future, I will effectively deal with what is in front of me right now; knowing above all else, that what I do positive today, will shape a better tomorrow for my future."  

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule.  Please check the updated dates below. We're now doing FRIDAY ONLY appointments.  Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  Jan 11th, 18th, 25th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTER TAMPA

Sessions available now - Monday February 11th @ Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa from 10am to 5pm at my good friend Charla Tempone’s office in Tampa. Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 33$ – 30-minutes 65$

39 A DAVIS BLVD Tampa, FL  http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Featured Audios for January

MyBeliefWorks™ for Being Your Ideal Weight + Healthy Diet, Digestion & Exercise MP3 Listening to these 2 audios will be a great contribution to supporting your diet & digestion and in helping you achieve your ideal weight & exercise goals. Easy to download with over 220 statements.Get them both now for Just $88 save $26 off individual prices.

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Here are examples of the strengthening statements that are "fished" in for you: "All of my diet, food, and liquid choices are filled with grace and ease now." "It's safe and comfortable for me to eat out with friends and family without ruining my diet." "Spirit shows me the way and ideal choices present themselves without fear or boredom." "Stress and nervous tension causing me to overeat is released from this body now." "It's easy and comfortable to add healthy muscle and release excess weight." "I reach and maintain ideal weight whether I'm trying to maintain, lose or gain." "My digestive processes allow me to eliminate toxins in the healthiest way possible."

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. 

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails like this one each and every week!

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From the Fish Box

"Happy New Year Jimmy!! I wanted to say how grateful I am for My Liquid Fish, I use it all the time. And thanking you for the certification course, it really helped in raising my ability with using the process, love you loads." - M.D. / Canada "Jimmy, I am working through the certification course and loving it. I have a couple of questions if you don't mind. I'm enjoying the work immensely. I thought I had cleared a lot (I have), but boy I'm finding a lot more. Just making sure I'm enjoying the ride." - Dee. T.

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"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

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LEARN MORE HERE

TGIFunny

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[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday and a Download for Aligning with the Frequency of Money in All Forms

TGIWednesday News

Well buckle up for "The Gold Coin' audio folks as it’s coming out soon to join our line up of awesome Audio MP3’s. We've gotten some encouraging feedback already from some of our early listeners like this one: "Jimmy, the Gold Coin Guided Meditation is very thorough and empowering! I could feel shifts in my consciousness as I aligned with your statements and intentions, including with investing for the future. I will listen to this often to ensure that I maintain these new frequencies in Body, Mind and Spirit. I feel lighter and unburdened by the stress I’ve been holding about what is in store for me, and I feel I can relax and trust Spirit to show me the way. Thank you, Jimmy! - Charlotte S. / Florida Some of my audio MP3s that we produce take YEARS.  All of them are about a half hour long and play on a phone, desktop or tablet and all you do is listen to them. A lot of folks after listening a few times play them low in the background of certain rooms, but either way the frequencies and the good good come through via spirit! Topics range from Sex, Sleep and Love to Success, Career, Intuition and so many more.  The Gold Coin audio is about being in vibrational frequency & alignment with MONEY in all forms, savings, investing, insurance, retirement, even crypto, lottery and gaming --  it’s all in there!  You may even hear words or terms you're not familiar with and those are for private traders who will gamble on the stock market from their homes!  But ultimately I want anyone who has even a savings account to save more and make more money and have it flowing in, around and through you!  January is new beginnings and this month’s focus is on setting a foundation for the rest of 2019.  Buckle up because I believe it could be a really prosperous ride!

TGIWednesday Download

~ ALIGNING WITH MONEY IN ALL FORMS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I am aligned with the frequency of all forms of exchange and money. I am ready, willing and able to claim abundance as my birthright and allow spirit to do the heavy lifting. I know when where how and why to have a higher level of comfort and confidence in the presence of all forms of money. I know that spirit will illuminate my financial path and show me the easy, most highly profitable way in all my decisions. As I hear or read this now I am asking for changes in all languages and throughout all lifetimes and so it is.  

Live Shows and Replays

JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713) 955-0594

Imagine getting FREE intuitive messages and healings LIVE!  Well, it happens every week on my radio show with some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in weekly for the FREE live show or replay and YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen to Yesterday's Replay Special Guest  Joanne Leo, Psychic Listen Jan. 15th  Special Guest TIFFANY POWERS Live readings with Tiffany and Healings with Jimmy  https://tiffanypowershealing.com   Listen Jan. 22nd Special Guest KELLY M BALLARD Medium, Intuitive Consultant and Coach https://www.kellymballard.com   Listen Jan. 29th Special Guest REV. DEBBIE DIENSTBIER  Our resident trans medium, communicating with your loved one’s on the other side! Facebook page  

Browse the interview archives here.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

JANUARY 9th - "Today, I will live in the moment.  I will take each minute as it comes and go with the flow of life.  While respecting the past.  I won't dredge it up just to jade the moment.  Instead of worrying about the future, I will effectively deal with what is in front of me right now; knowing above all else, that what I do positive today, will shape a better tomorrow for my future."  

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule.  Please check the updated dates below. We're now doing FRIDAY ONLY appointments.  Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  Jan 11th, 18th, 25th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTER TAMPA

Sessions available now - Monday February 11th @ Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa from 10am to 5pm at my good friend Charla Tempone’s office in Tampa. Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 33$ – 30-minutes 65$

39 A DAVIS BLVD Tampa, FL  http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Featured Audios for January

MyBeliefWorks™ for Being Your Ideal Weight + Healthy Diet, Digestion & Exercise MP3 Listening to these 2 audios will be a great contribution to supporting your diet & digestion and in helping you achieve your ideal weight & exercise goals. Easy to download with over 220 statements.Get them both now for Just $88 save $26 off individual prices.

Start Listening Today!

Here are examples of the strengthening statements that are "fished" in for you: "All of my diet, food, and liquid choices are filled with grace and ease now." "It's safe and comfortable for me to eat out with friends and family without ruining my diet." "Spirit shows me the way and ideal choices present themselves without fear or boredom." "Stress and nervous tension causing me to overeat is released from this body now." "It's easy and comfortable to add healthy muscle and release excess weight." "I reach and maintain ideal weight whether I'm trying to maintain, lose or gain." "My digestive processes allow me to eliminate toxins in the healthiest way possible."

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. 

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails like this one each and every week!

                     Choose 7 days @$33              Choose 14 days @$66           Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

"Happy New Year Jimmy!! I wanted to say how grateful I am for My Liquid Fish, I use it all the time. And thanking you for the certification course, it really helped in raising my ability with using the process, love you loads." - M.D. / Canada "Jimmy, I am working through the certification course and loving it. I have a couple of questions if you don't mind. I'm enjoying the work immensely. I thought I had cleared a lot (I have), but boy I'm finding a lot more. Just making sure I'm enjoying the ride." - Dee. T.

My Liquid Fish® Mastery Certification

Level I is open for ANYONE TO JOIN at anytime!  

"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557​ EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday and a Download for Aligning with the Frequency of Money in All Forms

TGIWednesday News

Well buckle up for "The Gold Coin' audio folks as it’s coming out soon to join our line up of awesome Audio MP3’s. We've gotten some encouraging feedback already from some of our early listeners like this one: "Jimmy, the Gold Coin Guided Meditation is very thorough and empowering! I could feel shifts in my consciousness as I aligned with your statements and intentions, including with investing for the future. I will listen to this often to ensure that I maintain these new frequencies in Body, Mind and Spirit. I feel lighter and unburdened by the stress I’ve been holding about what is in store for me, and I feel I can relax and trust Spirit to show me the way. Thank you, Jimmy! - Charlotte S. / Florida Some of my audio MP3s that we produce take YEARS.  All of them are about a half hour long and play on a phone, desktop or tablet and all you do is listen to them. A lot of folks after listening a few times play them low in the background of certain rooms, but either way the frequencies and the good good come through via spirit! Topics range from Sex, Sleep and Love to Success, Career, Intuition and so many more.  The Gold Coin audio is about being in vibrational frequency & alignment with MONEY in all forms, savings, investing, insurance, retirement, even crypto, lottery and gaming --  it’s all in there!  You may even hear words or terms you're not familiar with and those are for private traders who will gamble on the stock market from their homes!  But ultimately I want anyone who has even a savings account to save more and make more money and have it flowing in, around and through you!  January is new beginnings and this month’s focus is on setting a foundation for the rest of 2019.  Buckle up because I believe it could be a really prosperous ride!

TGIWednesday Download

~ ALIGNING WITH MONEY IN ALL FORMS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I am aligned with the frequency of all forms of exchange and money. I am ready, willing and able to claim abundance as my birthright and allow spirit to do the heavy lifting. I know when where how and why to have a higher level of comfort and confidence in the presence of all forms of money. I know that spirit will illuminate my financial path and show me the easy, most highly profitable way in all my decisions. As I hear or read this now I am asking for changes in all languages and throughout all lifetimes and so it is.  

Live Shows and Replays

JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713) 955-0594

Imagine getting FREE intuitive messages and healings LIVE!  Well, it happens every week on my radio show with some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in weekly for the FREE live show or replay and YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen to Yesterday's Replay Special Guest  Joanne Leo, Psychic Listen Jan. 15th  Special Guest TIFFANY POWERS Live readings with Tiffany and Healings with Jimmy  https://tiffanypowershealing.com   Listen Jan. 22nd Special Guest KELLY M BALLARD Medium, Intuitive Consultant and Coach https://www.kellymballard.com   Listen Jan. 29th Special Guest REV. DEBBIE DIENSTBIER  Our resident trans medium, communicating with your loved one’s on the other side! Facebook page  

Browse the interview archives here.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

JANUARY 9th - "Today, I will live in the moment.  I will take each minute as it comes and go with the flow of life.  While respecting the past.  I won't dredge it up just to jade the moment.  Instead of worrying about the future, I will effectively deal with what is in front of me right now; knowing above all else, that what I do positive today, will shape a better tomorrow for my future."  

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule.  Please check the updated dates below. We're now doing FRIDAY ONLY appointments.  Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  Jan 11th, 18th, 25th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTER TAMPA

Sessions available now - Monday February 11th @ Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa from 10am to 5pm at my good friend Charla Tempone’s office in Tampa. Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 33$ – 30-minutes 65$

39 A DAVIS BLVD Tampa, FL  http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Featured Audios for January

MyBeliefWorks™ for Being Your Ideal Weight + Healthy Diet, Digestion & Exercise MP3 Listening to these 2 audios will be a great contribution to supporting your diet & digestion and in helping you achieve your ideal weight & exercise goals. Easy to download with over 220 statements.Get them both now for Just $88 save $26 off individual prices.

Start Listening Today!

Here are examples of the strengthening statements that are "fished" in for you: "All of my diet, food, and liquid choices are filled with grace and ease now." "It's safe and comfortable for me to eat out with friends and family without ruining my diet." "Spirit shows me the way and ideal choices present themselves without fear or boredom." "Stress and nervous tension causing me to overeat is released from this body now." "It's easy and comfortable to add healthy muscle and release excess weight." "I reach and maintain ideal weight whether I'm trying to maintain, lose or gain." "My digestive processes allow me to eliminate toxins in the healthiest way possible."

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. 

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails like this one each and every week!

                     Choose 7 days @$33              Choose 14 days @$66           Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

"Happy New Year Jimmy!! I wanted to say how grateful I am for My Liquid Fish, I use it all the time. And thanking you for the certification course, it really helped in raising my ability with using the process, love you loads." - M.D. / Canada "Jimmy, I am working through the certification course and loving it. I have a couple of questions if you don't mind. I'm enjoying the work immensely. I thought I had cleared a lot (I have), but boy I'm finding a lot more. Just making sure I'm enjoying the ride." - Dee. T.

My Liquid Fish® Mastery Certification

Level I is open for ANYONE TO JOIN at anytime!  

"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

+1

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557​ EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[bestautochicago]

Celebrating 50 Years of Volkswagen in Baja with a Blast Through the Desert

BARSTOW, California — Last month, Volkswagen celebrated five decades of desert racing when the flag fell at the 50th Baja 1000. Ever since the first running of the sprawling race in 1967, then known as the Mexican 1000, Volkswagen has been on the starting line. It’s been at the finish line as well, with a VW-powered buggy completing the 950-mile sprint from Tijuana to La Paz. As part of the semi-centennial celebrations, VW rolled out three dusty, race-weathered Baja VWs for a day of fun in the desert, just outside of Barstow.

The MudBug, in all its rusty glory.

In this industry, reference points are crucial. For the past six years, my most valuable reference point is my dearly departed 1974 Volkswagen Super Beetle. Covered in fading primer and poorly-painted silver trim pieces, the slightly rusty Super was, at some point in its life, shoddily converted to a Baja bug, wearing yards of booger welds and sharp edges from a pair of dull metal shears.

I loved that car more than I should have, honestly. It was a Baja Bug by loose definition only, with a crude, hand-formed engine cage out back and a strange angled bullbar jutting from the front bumper. It rode high, but only because the original builder added longer springs but neglected to swap out the struts, rendering the front-end nearly unmanageable under braking. Inside, the rear seat was ripped out in place of a rough vinyl-covered shelf, while the two front passengers made do with faded, pungent seats unbolted from a Ford Aerostar.

For two years, that heap was my college runabout, rain or shine. So many indelible memories are connected to that leaky, lifted jalopy—from camping on a semi-dry riverbed, annoying my fraternity brother by parking it on his front lawn, to taking more than one unsuspecting and dismayed girl on a short-lived date. In the end, after I was fed up with its temperamental nature, the MudBug sat in the back of my grandmother’s house for just under a year before my parents sold it, with my permission, for $2,000 to another unsuspecting young man. The transaction happened while I was at school, and I never had a chance to drive it one last time.

I only tell you all this only to give you a sense of what I felt when I saw the Class 11 Beetle sitting in the Barstow dust, brought by Volkswagen as part of our off-road fun. Primer black and very rough around the edges, it was lifted straight out of my rose-tinted memories. Alright, it lacked the cropped rear end, but it was even more Spartan than the MudBug inside, and just as slow. After six years, I get to say goodbye.

What a sendoff it was. VW teamed up with local race team Mojave Off-Road Racing Enthusiasts to map out a circuitous 10-mile route out in the Mojave, winding through a few miles of white beach-like sand into rutted, rocky paths. In the middle, you chug your way up a rock pile masquerading as a hill, rushing down the other side into more snaking desert roads.

Cody Jeffers from Mojave Off-Road Racing Enthusiasts was the man charged with the not-insignificant task of familiarizing me with the course and showing me the ins-and-outs of the Class 11. I first played the role as passenger, struggling to remain conscious as Jeffers expertly wrung the Bug out through the course, crashing through rocks and ravines with perfectly metered throttle and clutch feet.

Then, I got into the driver’s seat. Because this Bug adheres to the strict regulations of Class 11, performance modifications are few. Inside, there’s a cage, safety fuel cell, racing seats, harnesses, and off-road instrumentation, but the steering wheel, pedal box, and shifter feel worryingly original. Outside, the car rides on tall, skinny 15-inch knobby tires, mounted to stock brakes and hubs. In fact, aside from a mildly upgraded suspension, both the bones and the guts of the Bug remain very close to stock.

With Jeffers now playing passenger, I set off down the first sandy expanse. I worked the 1.6-liter aircooled flat-four clattering out back, trying to eke out every last ounce of the claimed 75 hp on tap. It wasn’t giving up the goods that easy–somewhere down the line, the transmission innards were swapped for a taller ratio, giving the Class 11 no chutzpah above second gear. It was a strange, hard-fought battle between engine and transmission. For a moment, you’ve got the four-banger by the scruff of the neck, hustling through the backroads with incrementally increasing speed. Get right to the point of valve float, and quick-shift into third. Now, the engine’s nearly bogging, working hard to raise half the power you had in second gear.

It was sweaty, bone-shaking work. While I tried to dredge up some lessons learned from my two excursions out in the badlands of the real-deal Baja, I began to develop a cadence, knowing when and where the upsettingly tall third gear would and wouldn’t work. As I crashed over miniature boulders, the Class 11 was entirely more impressive and capable than I would ever think. Maybe my old MudBug could have gone a little deeper into the riverbed than I allowed myself to explore.

We rolled up to base camp in a plume of silt. A few breaths, a protein bar, and a small tub of water bottles later, I strapped myself into the very yellow, very capable-looking Class 9 buggy that sat a few yards away. From the outside, it looks like a full-scale R/C buggy, with exposed portions of the tube frame and thin, stubbly off-road tires. This was a one-seat car, so Jeffers could provide only a general walk-around before I vaulted onto the fuel cell, and slid down into the snug cockpit.

Jeffers wasn’t nearly as cavalier with the Class 9 as he was with the Class 11. Thanks to an unmodified, unfiltered steering rack plucked from a regular Beetle, I was told to keep my thumbs out of the steering wheel’s center spokes, as it has the propensity for uncontrollably jerking around in rocky terrain. If I hooked any digits into the wheel, I ran the risk of breaking them.

Power came from the same 1.6-liter flat-four, but this VeeDub heart packed hotter camshafts and revised cylinder-heads to give it some extra gumption. Thanks to a simple tube-frame, the Class 9 was significantly lighter than the already skinny Class 11, so performance was livelier and achievable speeds much, much scarier.

Out amongst the scrub brush and crystalline white sand washes, the Class 9 was a yellow blur. Despite a full Fox suspension setup, the ride was punishing, and rear swing-arm transaxle meant fishtailing was an enduring characteristic. Aside from a few misplaced ribs and powdered teeth, the Class 9 is close to the most fun I’ve had off-road, all while putting things very much into perspective. I was moderately bruised after 10 miles, so I can’t even begin to understand how broken the Class 9 warriors are after 1,000 miles of Mexico’s toughest.

There, through the dust–that’s base camp. I pull in, remove helmet, dust shield, and clamber out over the jungle-gym tube structure. I was exhausted, sweaty, sore, but couldn’t wipe that smile from my face–much like my previous desert escapades. As Baja birthday celebrations go, this was as good as it gets. Beyond that, it gave me closure, and erased scars that have stuck with me for years.

Finally, as an aperitif, Jeffers rolled out a squishy, squidgy dune buggy  that serves as a pit car for the race team. Far too soft and fragile for the Barstow crags, we used white-and-turquoise two-seater as our lunchtime runabout. Over the “whoops,” the suspension smacked the worn tires into the fender wells, the key was already broken-off inside the cylinder, and the steering wheel was already coming apart at the seams — it was the perfect beach buggy experience.

Thanks for the sunburn, VW. We’ll see you in Ensenada next year.

  Source: http://chicagoautohaus.com/celebrating-50-years-of-volkswagen-in-baja-with-a-blast-through-the-desert/

from Chicago Today https://chicagocarspot.wordpress.com/2017/12/16/celebrating-50-years-of-volkswagen-in-baja-with-a-blast-through-the-desert/