#just dumbass chaggie
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Charlie and her gang figured out how to send people to heaven and run the hotel for sinners who want redemption for already a few years. Some of the founders went to heaven, some stayed. Demons decide first whether they want redemption or not and after the hotel decides. Let's be honest, redemption can take years.
Charlie is the head of the hotel, along with Alastor (Ya really think he wants redemption? Also the post isn't about him so it doesn't matter whether he has some great plan right now or nah) and, of course, her beloved Vaggie.
Now, Vaggie is a fallen Angel, and after all Heaven is ready to take her back (most of the Executors or whoever they are got sent to hell, some stayed in Heaven but it doesn't matter. She did the right thing and her place is in Heaven) , except she doesn't want to go back.
She pulled the Princess of Hell, y'all . So,2 scenarios take place in my head.
1. Chaggie working with some problematic clients and Vaggie gets killed. After a week she returns and while greeted and scolded by Charlie explains "They didn't let me outta there. And you know I need my pass so I can't do anything serious. I ended up calling the Seraphims a slur so that - don't look at me like that! They wouldn't let me out! Anyway, for the next trip to Heaven, ask Angel or Husk. I ... Can't go there for about 5 years."
2. Chaggie chatting. Suddenly the air around Vaggie glows (I know this isn't how this works but Vaggie's an angel and I just need you to picture it). Vaggie mutters "shit" under her breath and turns to Charlie "Hold up a second my dear I will be back" *glass shatter* *screaming* *Vaggie's back covered with blood* "Oke babe I'm set for about half a year now- oh don't worry it wasn't our client but the drug seller that harassed Angel and us."
Just. Vaggie does bad things to stay in Hell with Charlie, and most of them are small to not anger her girlfriend.
#shitpost#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel anthony#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel chralie#hazbin hotel vaggie#Chaggie#charlie x vaggie#Heaven n Hell#i can totally picture it#“babe how long do you have?”#“about 7 more months”#“oh thats nice. anyway theres a new cute place in wrath that i wanted to try for a new activity snd the nearest reservation is for 6 months”#“dont worry i already got my eye on this noisy neighbour”#“okay babe just dont be anything extreme!”#just dumbass chaggie
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early chaggie days being a bit unsettling, but still pretty sweet
Vaggie: “Hey Charlie? I’m back.”
Charlie: “VAGGIE OHMYGOSH THERE YOU ARE!!!! I was worried sick! What were you doing wandering hell alone?? You’re still hurt! And new here!!”
Vaggie: “I’m fine, it’s not like I’m bleeding-”
Charlie: “I was WORRIED! It’s been hours- your note just said ‘gone out’ it didn’t say if you’d be back!”
Vaggie: “Why would anyone leave you a note like that if they weren’t coming back?”
Charlie: “I DON’T KNOW THE NOTE DIDN’T SAY THAT EITHER!!!!”
Vaggie: “Right, sorry. I’ll make sure the next one does. I’m sorry.”
Charlie: “That’s! Not-!”
Vaggie: “I’m sorry Charlie.”
Charlie: “No no you don’t have to be sorry- going out whenever you want is fine! Dangerous, when you’ve just lost and EYE and a LOT OF BLOOD and your back is still FUCKED UP and you have a pretty face covered in bandages that I couldn’t change this morning because you left- which is fine, that’s fine it’s FINE-”
Vaggie: “You really don’t have to keep-”
Charlie: “-it’s just we NEED to get you a phone! No more ‘don’t wanna be trouble’ bullshit- this is serious! What if you’d needed help? How fuck was I supposed to even find you!?”
Vaggie: “Follow the trail of screaming people and blood?”
Charlie: “Wha- what blood?”
Vaggie: “Shit.”
Charlie: “Your blood?? Did your back- But it’s been burned shut since day one! Did someone-”
Vaggie: “Charlie-”
Charlie: “WHO-”
Vaggie: “No one did anything, okay? Look, no blood. See?”
Charlie: “….then why did you say that?”
Vaggie: “I might’ve… kinda sorta stabbed a few people who got too close. Uh. Nothing fatal. But there was some blood and screaming…”
Charlie: “They SCARED you.”
Vaggie: “No they really didn’t, it was just instinct.”
Charlie: “And this is hell, Vaggie- at least half of them were at least TRYING to scare you!”
Vaggie: “Well it worked. It was fucking scary how close I came to killing a few of them without even noticing.”
Charlie: “Vaggie…”
Vaggie: “I won’t go out again. I got what I needed, and I didn’t know you’d worry.”
Charlie: “Of course I worried…”
Vaggie: “You don’t have to. I’m just this month’s random dumbass sinner picked out of the rest of the trash and crashing on your couch, making you stress over dumb stuff. I’ll get out of your hair soon as the bandages come off.”
Charlie: “Don’t.”
Vaggie: “?”
Charlie: “Don’t, talk like that, about yourself. Please?”
Vaggie: “Like what?”
Charlie: “Like THAT.”
Vaggie: “I don’t even get what ‘that’ means. I only said what happened.”
Charlie: “I….. never mind.”
Vaggie: “Alright…”
Charlie: “…..”
Charlie: “….what did you go out for anyway?”
Vaggie: “Spear.”
Charlie: “Spear? Like, spearmint gum or- OH!!”
Vaggie: “Just uh, just a spear.”
Charlie: “But isn’t that an Exorcist’s!? Vaggie- be carful! That’s one of the ONLY things that can-”
Vaggie: “-kill a sinner permanently, yeah, I know. Or gouge out their eye. Permanently.”
Charlie: “Oh.”
Vaggie: “I’ve seen them in action, I mean.”
Charlie: “And it doesn’t upset you?”
Vaggie: “It’s, complicated. Mainly it’s just, it’s a little reassuring to hold onto, you know?”
Charlie: “My hand is- I mean, sure, yes. That makes sense. I think.”
Vaggie: “…you can lock it up somewhere if you want, while I’m here. I don’t mind. This is your home-”
Charlie: “And yours. As long as you need it.”
Vaggie: “That’s, nice but-”
Charlie: “And while you’re here you should feel safe, and if the spear helps you feel safe around me, then okay. Good. You um, you didn’t sell anything super important to get it, right?”
Vaggie: “No, I found it behind a dumpster-”
Charlie: “Wow those are really pulling through on the amazing finds lately!”
Vaggie: “Charlie- huh?”
Charlie: “Good find! At the dumpster!”
Vaggie: “Charlie, it’s not for you. The spear. I didn’t get the spear because of you.”
Charlie: “I mean hell princess and stuff, first hellborn monster in all creation- totally understandable!”
Vaggie: “If you’re a monster then creation needs more of them.”
Charlie: “The carpet is still smoldering from me going all demon flames at you five minutes ago.”
Vaggie: (chuckling) “Yeah, because you were worried.”
Charlie: “Still. Scary?”
Vaggie: “Adorable.”
Charlie: “….really?”
Vaggie: “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, because you care, and you get angry when the rest of the world doesn’t care as much as you do. It’s really.” (pause) “It’s new. It’s really new, and I’m glad I got to see it.”
Charlie: “If you’re sure…”
Vaggie: “Yep. The horns and tail are cute, too.”
Charlie: “The- aww SHOOT! They’re still out? This whole time??”
Vaggie: “You didn’t notice grabbing my wrist with your tail?”
Charlie: “I WHAT??? IM SORRY OH FUCK OH SHIT IT- IT HAS A MIND OF IT’S OWN I SWEAR- FUCK WHY WON’t IT LET GO-”
Vaggie: “It’s fine. If it wants to cling then let it. I’d like to sit down though, so.”
Charlie: “Right! Sorry!”
Vaggie: “Charlie it’s fine.” (sigh) “Feels like we’ve used that word too much today.”
Charlie: “Ugh you’re right, sorry…”
Vaggie: “And that one too. Stop.”
Charlie: “Fine.”
Vaggie: “….”
Charlie: “….sorry?”
Vaggie: “….”
Vaggie: “…you’re lucky you’re cute.”
Charlie: “And YOU’RE lucky you’re tiny and fit on the couch. There’s an actual bed here! In case you forgot since the last time I told you! Now, sit kitchen?”
Vaggie: “Actually I was thinking sit couch and I’m not taking your bed.”
Charlie: “Did you remember to eat anything while out poking rude hell people with your new spear?”
Vaggie: “S- sure I, uh, I did. Do that.”
Charlie: “Uh-huh.”
Vaggie: “Yes.”
Charlie: “Mmhmm.”
Vaggie: “…I did do it.”
Charlie: “Bzzt, lies. To the snackies we go!”
Vaggie: “But-”
Charlie: “And I’m getting you in that bed eventually. It’s gonna happen. Couches can’t be good for your back, even when you’re so small! Especially when you’re hurt!”
Vaggie: “Charlie, if I was in your bed you’d never get any SLEEP.”
Charlie: “Why not? I like being around you!”
Vaggie: “I move around too much at night.”
Charlie: “Bad dreams?”
Vaggie: “…sure.”
Charlie: “Well maybe not being alone when you wake up would help? That’s what Razzle and Dazzle do for me sometimes- right guys?”
Razzle: “Baa!”
Dazzle: “Mreh.”
Vaggie: “Hi fellas… What… what happened to your kitchen.”
Charlie: “I asked them to get snacks ready!”
Vaggie: “It’s a warzone.”
Charlie: “It’s snack time?”
Vaggie: “There’s enough doughnuts here to feed a whole battalion after a battle.”
Charlie: “Well since you weren’t here to ASK I couldn’t TELL them what KIND of doughnut would be your FAVORITE.”
Razzle & Dazzle: “Ree!”
Charlie: “So we had to make all the kinds. But only this one time, okay guys?”
Razzle & Dazzle: “Grrr….”
Vaggie: (smiles) “Thought you said you weren’t even sure I’d be back.”
Charlie: “I wasn’t. You’re the first sinner who’s ever crashed on my couch, so I just, hoped.”
Vaggie: “…..”
Vaggie: “Thanks. For the hope.”
Charlie: “You’re welcome. Really, literally, you’re welcome. Couch or wherever.”
Vaggie: “……or buried under a mountain of pastries?”
Charlie: “Finding your favorite kind is IMPORTANT okay!”
Vaggie: “There’s dough splatters on the ceiling.”
Charlie: “You’re worth a few dough splatters and an artfully singed carpet. You’d also be worth some lost sleep. Now! Staring with the basic, a classic plain glaze….” (busily dives into doughnut infogump)
Vaggie: “….”
Dazzle: “Rrr?” (hands her a tissue)
Vaggie: “...huh? Oh.” (takes tissue) “Thanks….” (dabs at her eye while Charlie isn’t looking)
#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#vaggie#chaggie#razzle & dazzle hazbin hotel#incorrect quotes#silly headcanons#charlie and the stress of having a cute dumpster girl in her house who won't STAY STILL and GET BETTER#vaggie and uh oh i might never leave her now moment#the Spear makes it's first entrance into charlie's life#......#im sure it will be Fine
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Okay... but can I ask about the Chaggie and Guitarapple swap AU?!
Like... does it imply that Vaggie is first woman to exist and Charlie is first fallen angel, while Lucifer is Charlie's son and Adam used to be under Vaggie's command at first, before he fell and was taken in by Luci, who started up the hotel to redeem sinners???
...as you can see, I'm a huge enthusiast about Swap AU's
@adambrainrot
I’m one too lol.
Oookayyyyy it’s not an exact roleswap on both sides or like that. Though it sounds good too lol.
Let me tell you.
—
Adam is still the first man and Lucifer is still the first fallen angel, in fact he fell with Lilith yet again. But it’s a little different.
You see, Lucifer was a troublemaker but harmless angel who was known for his closeness to the first humans like his brother.
He thought he had everything…
Until he lost it all.
He didn’t even remember how it happened. He just could recall him and Michael bringing a tasy liquid to their favorite humans, then drinking it with them. Then the rest was black until he woke up in the garden of Eden, completely naked and with a weird feeling. Both of his friends and Michael weren’t around.
So he flew back to Heaven and pretended like it never happened until…
He realized that the weird feeling he had was pregnancy. And he couldn’t hide anymore.
The others asked him what the hell happened, and he told them about the day he didn’t quite remember and how he felt that way since then.
Heaven checked the child’s DNA and it was a humans. It was forbidden for an angel to mate with a human, and it was forbidden for humans to drink alcohol, the liquid Michael and Lucifer brought them.
Then, elders decided to punish both Michael and Lucifer, and the human that slept with Lucifer. They began searching for who it was, but it was cut short when the first woman, Lilith ‘came clean’ and said it was her. Why bother more searching when one was claiming it.
They were all going to fall to hell, but there was one question still remaining.
The child.
Angels said it would be easy and simple to just kill her, but Lucifer begged them not to. He didn’t wanted an innocent kid to be hurt just cause he was a dumbass.
Then Heaven said that they changed their mind and thwy won’t. But as a result of his disobedience, he would never be able to see his daughter ever again.
She would be raised by Heaven, and wouldn’t even know who her parents were until they decided to tell her.
Lucifer, feeling too sad, accepted this.
Adam’s new bride bit from the apple of knowledge herself. Then it resulted into getting them both cast to Earth.
They both went to Heaven when they died. And they were in love when they did, but it died down when Adam realized that Eve had became a selfish, arrogant and jealous person.
—
Years and years later, an overpopulation problem was visible in Hell. Heaven decided to hold a yearly extermination and even though he was heavily against it, Adam ended up as one of their two leaders, the other being Eve.
But, during the third one, Adam stumbled to his son, Cain, and he just couldn’t kill him. So he let him escape…
Which resulted into Charlie, now a bloodthirsty, cold hearted, demon hating soldier of Heaven, to stab him with a ‘sinful’ blade -Which is something that makes you a sinner from a winner basically- from the back and his ex wife, Eve to take his halo. They left him bleed to death, his soul was going to be bond to Hell once he did anyway.
However, Lucifer found him on streets, recognized Adam, and brought him to his hotel to heal him.
—
So it’s basically this lol.
Lucifer is Charlie
Adam is Vaggie
Michael is Lucifer
Charlie is Lute
Eve is Adam
Vaggie is another exorcist
Some characters like Husk and Angel have their genders swapped
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Ever get that urge to draw that is so strong, so you eventually leave Tumblr and open a canvas app and as soon as you look at the canvas your like 'Nah bro I'm out'. Like, WTF?! I had the need to draw as in a draw or die situation and my head just goes 'Nah bro'?! WTF?! THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO THIS CURSE IS WHEN I HAVE MUSIC!
I started a Chaggie drawing but I'm never gonna Finnish it with this dumbass curse 😭
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Well unlike your kind, I never drew pedo art. Seeing as your drew nsfw art of the two minor characters from the spiderverse movies, which I reported BTW hope it gets removed. And weren't you friends with Alfalyr and nervousalex, that told Chaggie shippers to kill themselves, drew graphic kill art of Vaggie and tagged Chaggie OH WAIT you supported them so why the fuck would you care and you hate WLW relatiops since Charle just HAD to be with a man and cheat on Vaggie. Because your lesbians. why else would you ship it? Lydia is a MINOR but being the dumbass worthless pig you are will make any excuse in thee book. Glad to know Alex Brightman hates your ship BTW :) but hey all you Beetlebabes people are braindead fuckin lose morons anyway and your art isn't worth a damn thing and you add nothing to the fandom besides vile disgusting art. But hey half the fandom rightfully hates you so good. And you Charlastor shippers got pissy when Viv muted the tag on the anniversary of Hazbin because you had to make ALLLLL about your ship and ruin it.
Damn where does all this rage come from? Do you get yelled at while at work then take it out on me? Not very nice. Come back when you have the balls to talk to me with a main account lmao.
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Thank you my sunshines, but you misunderstand a bit lol
I’m not so much worried about myself and being nervous to indulge in this pin and ships. (kinda want the posicle set more) My concern is my friends, especially art friends that recieve hatred from either side and with every new ship related thing released canonly, it gets worse. My Chalastor friends that have been bullied out of the fandom with things like “why the fuck are you shipping chalastor, chaggie is canon you homophobic piece of shit”
And likewise, Chaggie friends bullied with “Chalastor is better” “stop shipping Chaggie” and such bullshit (even some dumbasses that have said Vaggie is abusive). Hatred from all sides and entitled pricks that just make this place more and more toxic. I get excited at any new merch, but I also get really apprehensive because I know what will happen after. The dumpster fire is already beginning on twitter in the comments of the official post. I get worried about my friends, and tired of having to basically copy paste things to people that try to start the same bullshit with me. It’s a big reason of why I left for months.
I’m just tired of seeing the same shit and bullying and wondering who it’ll be of my friends that’ll be driven away this time.
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