#just dumb boys being dudes
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titisorriso · 7 months ago
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When i started painting, the background was orange so i fucked up the colors and was too lazy to fix it so now we have colors that are too bright for what i had in mind. Also don't ask me where they are, i do not know, i improvised.
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astros-arts-inthestars · 1 year ago
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SUPER LATE BUT
Happy Birthday Kel <333
I dubbed the comic I made last year for his birthday! I've been meaning to do this since I got like. 400 notes FHDJKASKFSH but this is my first time ever editing a comic dub so PLEASE DONT JUDGE IT LMAOOOO
Shoutout to my friends Void and Chip (and my brother) for the additional voices im so sorry i made you guys do this I love you thank you so much you tried your best <3333
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coconut530 · 1 year ago
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Hmhmhmhmhmmmmhmhmhmmhmhmmmmmm…..😬🫨
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eluvixnsarchived · 4 months ago
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hi my week away was nice did u miss my stupid ass
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sirenium · 1 year ago
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⚠️trigger warning, violence mention⚠️
Thinking about the time I had an exclusionist reblog my post to tell me that queer people are dying, and then they proceeded to yell at me for being an mspec lesbian. 💀
They were unwittingly admitting that there are more important issues than somebody's identity, while trying to invalidate my identity lmfao. I suppose they thought it was some huge ‘gotcha’ moment, cuz ooh I'm so selfish for expressing my distress toward mspec lesbians such as myself being crucified for calling themselves lesbians, while people are facing REAL issues! Give me a break.
I know queer people face acts of violence, and mspec les/gays saying ‘hey guys, we'd like to be allowed labels and spaces too’ isn't in any way invalidating that. Exclusionists need to get over themselves.
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1pcii · 1 year ago
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one piece modern au mentions zoro is bad at math or actually genuinly stupid/unintelligent 143 dead 657 injured
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fastfists · 1 year ago
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Forever on the hill that Knuckles is a skilled and strategic fighter UwU
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feline-evil · 9 months ago
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I mean really nothings ever gonna beat sitting there playing guitar hero on ps2 and hearing Iron Man for the first time and turning to someone sitting on the sofa with you and thinking you're the shit for managing to sing 'i am iron man, can i suck my own dick yes i can' to the tune to make someone laugh and then failing miserably to play the song on medium difficulty. Thems were the times or days or whatever. We were so blissfully fucking stupid.
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floral-hex · 1 year ago
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My therapist asked if I dressed ironically and I had to assure him that no, I just really like florals
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gaffney · 2 years ago
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#SPIRITOFTHEDUCKS DAY TWO prompt, on thin ice ↯
Jesse doesn’t play by the rules. Charlie makes it his problem.
charlie conway/jesse hall, 996 words, read here!
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starpros-sunshine · 3 days ago
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I think the reason I'm so uncomfortable in conversation with cis men is because in my life the image I've grown up with is that from the American movies and while there's so much to be said about how women in those are basically objects or exclusively love interests or just Really Really forgettable I feel like there's also something to be mentioned about how most of these men are all the same pseudo-tough-guy character that's cool and suave and sexy and the only emotion he's capable of is nonchalant banter (it feels worth mentioning that the American movies I'm referring to are all from the last century I have no idea if that's changed in these last years but a gut feeling tells me no) and I also barely talk to the guys from my grade so the result of kind of growing up with that is that I just genuinely can not imagine real cis men with a complex inner emotional landscape. Maybe this is also an empathy thing but I genuinely can not imagine most cishet guys doing normal people things in their free time that aren't gaming or going to the gym or...idk. making music too I suppose. It's quite comical really but I just can not imagine cishet men with interests or doing stuff like having crushes and it's so strange because I know for a fact I am generally speaking not a sexist person but this little tidbit of apparently just not being able to view cishet men as normal people? Can't get that to go away even if I logically know it's silly. There's a point in this post about how toxic masculinity is a huge issue and affects even those not affected by it and runs really really deep or whatever but I'm too tired to coherently put it together. On the positive side now I get really happy when I see men online talk about how much they love their wives and all that because it's like "wow! Crazy you really are just a normal dude and not some James Bond knock-off like I thought every cishet man was supposed to be! Thank god!"
#i also think thats why I like poets so much#i mean sure there's poets that were complicated as people but what other kind of person would actually express emotions like that#you can really get me with men that are just genuienly chill and nice dudes because something in me does not believe they actually exist#and that scares me a little i have to confess that scares me a little#men scare me a little and that's so sad#women too but in a different way#that's just because I'm shy and awkward#thats more fear of the interaction#but with cis men it's just genuine fear of the human being#well more of an intense discomfort but still#i can talk to them but it's always awkward and stilted and I'm stuttering and tripping over words and all that#there's genuienly one man I can have an actual conversation with. one. well besides my father but thats different#it's also that underlying fear of being judged#I can handle being judged by a woman just fine we're on equal footing there we're good#but with men? nope. I just stay quiet before I can say anything dumb#i do wonder sometimes where that came from but I guess it's really just the stuff I grew up with#i mean I was basically raised by movies and audio dramas#and almost all of them were. older. on the older side. but not Old. that stuff came later#surprisingly though there's a whole string of musical comedies from the 30s where the main guys main thing is just thag he's really down bad#for this woman who almost never is also really down bad for him#never really heard talk of being a lovesick teenager who really wanted to go out with that one girl but was always too shy to ask from a man#in an old film. but also not really in real life i won't lie there.#anyways back to topic can we as a society please allow men to be cringefail and sappy in a genuine way instead of pretending to be cool#we need to bring back the romantic era where everyone actually made a big deal out of stuff like friendship and feelings#boy i should sleep
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kavehater · 6 months ago
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Stop ……. Rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid …
#you guys think I’m gonna simp ? HAH NO WAY actually he reaaaaallyyyyy reminds me of this one guy back in primary#he liked me and tried to insert himself with me all the time etc and he TOLD ALL HIS FRIENDS#he’s Shia too so he would go to the same mosque as me brother and dad and he told my brother he likes me I think …..#actually I didn’t find out until years later that he liked me until when fatema gave me the signs a guy likes you talk in eighth grade 😭🙂‍↕#then one night I was thinking about the past then it clicked#I was not at all impressed#I have never felt so disgusted#I should’ve known I was aroace from that moment but I didn’t know what aroace was#I didn’t hate the guy#I actually super liked him he was so fun and we were basically friends#he always made me laugh and we were lowkey buddies only in class cause we were forced to sit together#it’s just idk I don’t enjoy the concept of being liked most of the time !!!! cause most of the time it’s so vile when a boy likes a girl 😭#except that one dude he’s the only exception but he’s forever my favourite ✨#but anyways 😭#back to the point I really like the guy who plays Rodrick cause it reminds me of the guy who liked me who I didn’t like back BUT I LIKE#RODRICK CAUSE I ALWAYS HAD SM FUN WITH THAT GUY it was always so fun to talk to him#also in the future he ended up liking my classmate or something after he moved away to a different school 😭#I was like damn …. 🤨 not very loyal I see#granted he did like me for so long I’m just dumb unfortunately#actually omg I kinda miss him now he was so fun to talk to 😭#minus that weird part of him telling the whole world like BROTHER WE WERE LIKE from 9-12 yrs old he liked me I think HAHA#aiming to beat his record by liking kaveh for longer#I’m almost gonna be on year two eeeeeee !!!!!!!!#dora daily#wait now that I think of it I did always have a sneaking suspicion that this other guy in primary also liked me LMFAO he was also Shia#actually my close friend in sixth grade had the biggest crush on the other guy 😭😭😭#she had sm dreams of him me with kaveh when#wait … if I swap Shia guy 1 and Shia guy 2 with the duo of terror ( you know who ) THIS WILL BE LIKE THE RECREATION OF MY DREAM MUAHAHAHA#anyways I’m actually so tired gang I could fall asleep rn if I put my head on the pillow#when I said my myahahaha I hope you pictured the Elmo fire meme
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sweet1delusi0ns · 5 months ago
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Class 1A boys random headcanons ──☆*:・゚
MHA
Summary: random thing they do or say as your boyfriend*.•
Characters: Izuku, katsuki, Shoto, Tenya, Eijirou, Denki, Sero, Tokoyami, Aoyama, Ojiro, Sato, Shoji, Koji!
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IZUKU~
He tries making you food just to be nice, but he doesn’t really know how so he just brings you something easy like instant noodles and say “it’s the thought that counts!”
He use to be insecure of his freckles and the only reason he isn’t now is because you kiss them all the time!
he draws you all the time, he hangs them all up in his room so when you hang out with him you tease him about being so obsessed with you which he blushes too
He lets you put his fluffy hair in pigtails sometimes!
He does a stupid dance everytime he beats you in something, a game, a training exercise or something like that. You say it’s cute which makes him flustered~
KATSUKI~
Claims he doesn’t cry at all but in reality he cries in front of you all the time, and ONLY you
He has some hearing loss from his quirk so sometimes he doesn’t hear you walking up to him so you have to kiss him to get his attention
He kisses the back of your hand, not to be a ‘gentleman’ or anything he is just too timid to kiss your face sometimes
His face is always so stern but when you two are alone his face soften SO MUCH. It relaxes into a small smile when he is alone with you
He lights candles for you with tiny explosions, sometimes it doesn’t work and he gets embarrassed for failing so he will just melt it instead! (You don’t really care but if you did he would get you a new one)
SHOTO~
he also lights candles for you, and it actually works. So he gets a bunch of candles for you just so he can light them all for you. He threw away your lighter so you have to ask him
He heats up his hands ever so slightly when he touches you to warm you up. You call him your heating pad LOL. He also gives you massages after training with warm hands as to not hurt you
He normally doesn’t want to even mention his scar but with you he literally asks to kiss it when he feels down about it~ which you always do!
He lets you paint his nails, he also does not care what colors. He just likes spending the time it takes to paint them with you, he normally gossips with you while you paint them~
TENYA~
whenever he is talking to you he sometimes gets so comfortable to the point he will speak incredibly fast! You have to put your hands on his cheeks and tell him to slow down
He reads to you, even if you say no he does it anyways. He says it’s for learning purposes but in reality he just wants to spend time with you
He tries showing off his intelligence with you. “Give me any equation and I am confident I will know how to solve it!”
He sometimes forgets he wears glasses, he falls asleep with them on sometimes so you have to take them off for him. Sometimes he puts his head in your neck but his glasses get in the way which makes him whine and tear them off so he could actually cuddle into you~
He’s so proud of you sometimes he brags about you at random times. “Have you seen y/n? Yeah we are DATING!”
EIJIROU~
He wants to give you love bites sometimes but he knows his teeth are sharp so he’s scared too
His quirk sometimes makes his hands and arms dry from overuse so he asks you what to do about it and you told him to just try moisturizer. he made you put it on him because he likes your warm touch! (Not in a weird way!?)
He lets you draw on him, it doesn’t matter if your bad at drawing or not he likes being your ‘canvas’ he says. As long as you let him draw on you too. It’s normally just dumb faces like ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ or something like that LOL
He is SO WHINY, like extremely whiny! Even in front of his friends, if he wants something from you he’s gunna whine till he gets it. “Y/NNNNNNNNNNN GIVE ME A KITHHHHH” “dude lower your voice people are gunna thing your weird *kiss*”
Whenever he is yapping to you about god knows what he sometimes stutters unintentionally which makes him stop talking for like 5 minutes due to embarrassment. “So t..th.Then…..” “Uhm you ok?” “…” “Your not gunna talk anymore huh?” “*Shakes head*”
DENKI~
he pulls the dumbest faces and then asks you if you still think he’s cute- like “hey y/n am I still cute?(o_O)” “no you look dumb stop it” “fine…”
He shocks you but not on purpose, in general he has so much static electricity coming off of him that he can’t control so sometimes if you reach to play with his hair you’ll get shocked. He apologizes over and over and ‘kisses it better’
He lets you put make up on him, you don’t even have to wear make up yourself and he’s down. You make him look like a princess and he loves it- “I’m beautiful!!!”
He’s very needy which is obvious. He gets so needy for attention that sometimes he will just follow you around school waiting for you to atleast hug him~
SERO~
He loves arts and crafts (LOL) he likes making home made cards for you instead of buying them from a store. He also likes building things with you like bird houses n such. He’s a great tape dispenser so he’s good at it☺️
He’s really good at puzzles so if your doing something like a rubix cube or just a normal puzzle and you get stuck he always helps you!
He leaves love notes for you everywhere, in your bag, on your desk, in your locker or even in your books. He isn’t the best with words but it’s still cute that he tries
TOKOYAMI~
He gets jealous of dark shadow, he always makes you laugh. So in return he banishes dark shadows for a while so he can have alone time with you (aka to cuddle)
He drags his beak through your hair instead of playing with it with his hands, he basically preens you but refuses to admit that’s what he’s doing-
He’s insecure, it is kinda weird that he has a bird head but you don’t let that get in the way. You cover his beak with kisses hoping it’ll make him feel better
He made you a necklace out of one of his feathers, now you wear it everywhere and people either think it’s adorable or cringy
I’ve said it before he is really fluffy so whenever you cuddle you start playing with his feather. He says he doesn’t care but if you don’t he begs you to. “Can you? You know?” “What” “You always play with my feathers?” “Aww you want me to play with your feathers!?” “Yeah.”
AOYAMA~
Behind closed doors he ditches the whole self centered thing and is fixed onto you. While you guys cuddle in privet you could hear him saying “you are so very dazzling! Just as much as me~” or “you are like a shining star! So pretty…” (out of character again but IDC I headcanon him to be a sweetheart!)
Whenever he gets a stomach ache from overusing his power he MAKES you give him a tummy rub, he will force your hand above his stomach and wait for you to sooth him
He wears make up so he lets you do looks on him. If you do good enough he will wear it for the day but most of the time it doesn’t meet his standards LOL
Similar with nails, he lets you paint them whatever color you want and he will keep them on. He doesn’t care as much abt his nails then he does his face-
He loves when you play with his hair, like really loves it. Whenever you play with his hair or give him a scalp massage he just sits there like ^0^. Seriously his mouth will hang open without him realizing. You have to close his mouth manually with your finger
OJIRO~
He lets you play with his tail, you just pet it whenever you want but you have to be careful because his tail is a little ticklish. He will swat you away if it starts to tickle
He Carries your bags for you, he’s a gentleman like that! he does it just to be nice but if you insist on carrying them yourself he won’t stop you!
He sometimes jumps into your arms, as a ‘joke’ which is a lie. Sometimes he just wants to be in your arms! He also finds it hot that you are strong enough to hold him~
He likes when you guys match! Clothes or shoes n such! He thinks it’s cute and we wants everyone to know that y’all r dating!
SATO~
He finds it hot when you call him ‘big boy’ he understands that you don’t do it to shame him but it’s more to flatter him. Like you’ll be having a light breakfast and after he finished he was still hungry so you tease “oh we gotta get more food in you big boy~ wait here I’ll get more!” He blushes so hard over it
He crams his head under your shirt when cuddling, he just likes laying on your stomach ok!
He is a little insecure about his looks, and he is very honest with insecurity so he will just confront you like “y/n I don’t think I look that good today…help?” And you’ll do everything you can to help
Whenever he is injured he milks it so harddd, he will ask you to get him a blanket, or help him eat. “Y/n could you feed this to me? I’m too hurt…” “your arms are fine?” “I know”
He’s the kinda guy to peak over your shoulder while your doing something because he really wants to be apart of it but he’s to scared to ask😭
SHOJI~
The first time you saw his face he was soooo insecure it was really sad, everytime you asked he when like “I don’t think you want to see…this” or “well y/n it’s obvious it isn’t going to look good, it’s probably gunna freak you out”. When he finally did show you he was shocked when you pulled him closer claiming you wanted to “admire his beauty” closer~
Cuddling with him is the best!! He makes a little cocoon around you with his arms! Unless you want to hold him which he also loves!
He insists on holding things for you, everytime you say “I wish I had more hands” he goes “luckily I do!” And takes everything out of your hands
He gets cold easily so sometimes when y’all cuddle he gets freakishly cold and you have to bundle him up like a burrito. You cry over how cute his looks with his mask off in a burrito blanket <3
KOJI~
He talks to you on a regular basis but he almost always leans into your ear, cup it with his hands and whisper instead since he is still very shy, unless you guys are completely alone. Even for the simplest thing; “y/n…do you want water?” “Speak up babe-” “*squealing noise*”
Compliments kill him, like actually last time you called him cute he fainted
He asks you to deal with spiders in his dorm or anywhere. You capture them and release them tho because he feels bad if you just kill them
He leaves you flower petals in random places, you could be looking through your books and notice a flower petal in between two pages~
He back hugs you to cuddle, he’s to scared to be face to face and he’s scared he’s gunna hurt you somehow? You assured him he will never hurt you which makes him feel a little better
Wsg yall!!!! Anywayyyys Next post prob gunna be class 1B cuz again they need more attention 😔
Not proof readdddd!!
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verstarppen · 8 months ago
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now riddle me this .
since all the drivers talk about how hard the singapore gp is because its so hot and humid HOW ABOUT
singaporean fem driver reader whos used to the climate and her shenanigans with the f1 grid
idk i thought this would be a good idea 😢😢
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summary; the singapore heat can't kill you, but the sight of oscar sweaty and disheveled just might
pairing; oscar piastri x fem! ferrari driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; this is my thank you letter to @localwhoore for helping me with the oscar series, i owe you big time; also if anyone has any idea what to do when i hit 3k send me an ask
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liked by scuderiayn, charles_leclerc, f1 and 3,204,985 others
scuderiaferrari The heat never bothered her anyway
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36rg P1 BABY IT'S OUR YEAR
gonestappen not for longggggg
gothfrogasly oh they're so hot for that (get it?)
buttonette_20 It's Oscar and Lando congratulating her mid interview for me
meepshoemaker WHERE buttonette_20 Post quali interviews!! They were walking by, Lando stopped to congratulate her and Oscar had the audacity to wink but it looked so awkward 😭 meepshoemaker bless his soul that boy has 0 rizz
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liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiayn, landonorris and 2,111,901 others
mclaren We, at McLaren, do not take a side in the conflict, and if we had to, it would be Oscar's. That said, here are some of the ways he looks at Y/N. Happy Race Day! 🧡
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sebwebb admin you're so brave for this
maxielhearter take a shot if mclaren admin knowing about oscassgate was on your bingo card
g3org3zilla NAHHHHHH THEY DIDN'T
mclaren Oh, yes, we did 😊 oscarpiastri 🤨
scuderiayn girl
mclaren Just doing my job 😊 scuderiayn how much did mick and max f. pay you to post this mclaren I plead the 5th maxfewtrell DUDE
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 7,800,552 others
scuderiayn i won or whatever LANDO P2 BABYYYY
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forzapluto FERARRI WIN??? WHAT YEAR IS IT????
bottaswiththefur breaking the verstappen domination and being more excited about your buddy getting a podium is insane but not as insane as oscassgate
scuderiayn I JUST GOT A WIN AND WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT OSCAR'S ASS?? oscarpiastri You're no longer interested, then? scuderiayn oh charles_leclerc At last mickschumacher I teared up, they grow up so fast landonorris and if i said i caught him looking at your ass too what then scuderiayn you didn't landonorris no i didn't but like imagine if i did what then
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liked by maxfewtrell, scuderiayn, fernandoalo_oficial and 3,121,347 others
oscarpiastri Thank you @ charles_leclerc for revealing your DMs. Without you, it would have taken longer for this to happen.
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scuderiayn *being dumb enough to reveal his DMs
charles_leclerc First of all I just scored you a date. scuderiaferrari You should be scoring points instead scuderiayn ha scuderiaferrari You included scuderiayn oh im sorry, you're talking to THE max destroyer charles_leclerc Bow to her highness landonorris someone's about to be known as THE y/n destroyer scuderiayn ok mr nowins scuderiayn wait scuderiayn LANDO
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pic credits: instagram and pinterest
fic-specific taglist; @onecojg @spilled-coffee-cup @cixrosie @sheridamn @namgification @thehufflepuffavenger1 @sxrcxsm26
blog taglist; @wtfisakilometer2 @aexitizen-ln4 @localwhoore @onecojg @sheridamn @cixrosie @gulabjamooon @melozyxo @spilled-coffee-cup @biitch-with-wifi @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @lavenderhazeeworld @ravisinghs-wife @namgification @sheridamn @whatislifebutlemons @demvnsriot @stinkyjax @sxrcxsm26 @beskardroids @tbsloneely
(it's my birthday on sunday im about to get the best dutch anthem of the year)
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smileysuh · 1 month ago
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dumb frat boy
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🌙 starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.” 
tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, ‘unknown’ caller, he’s horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc… I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an.  We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3
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Prologue
“I’ve got the best idea ever,” Hyuck says the moment after he’s released his first breath from the bong.
Johnny lets out a sigh, leaning back in his recliner. “This better not be another themed wet tittie car wash fundraiser.”
“Excuse me, that idea was brilliant- pairing up with our sister sorority and being horny on cars while in costumes that somewhat resembled cars from the Disney movie Cars made us more cash for the Humane Society than we’ve ever raised, so dial it down on your tone there, Ghostie.” 
The elder frat boy rolls his eyes at the nickname. When word got out about how he wooed his girlfriend last Halloween, the term ‘Ghostie’ ended up sticking, and Johnny’s never been able to let down the sexy stalker angle, even this year's pledges know about it.
“As I was saying,” Hyuck continues, “I figure I’ll take a page out of your book, and do some weird phone call thing to woo my Angel.”
“Oh, so you’re finally gonna admit your feelings to your best friend?” Johnny asks in shock, sitting up to take a better look at the younger frat boy.
“Yes, but after a week of toying with her,” Hyuck announces. “It will be fun. We all know she got her nickname Angel because she’s really more of a demon, she’s going to love this shit.”
“Well, I guess you know her better than I do,” Johnny muses. “So what’s the plan?”
“Basically, you took the best phone call stalker with Ghost Face, but I figure there are other options out there. Have you ever seen Black Christmas?” 
“Like… the one from the seventies?” Johnny’s apprehension is clear in his features, and he reaches for the bong to take another hit.
“Yeah, the one where the dude calls the sorority and is a horny fuck on the phone.”
“Isn’t there some weird incest plot and jaundice thing in the second movie though?”
“No one watches the second movie! We don’t claim the way they butchered the story with that!” Hyuck exclaims, feeling agitated already. 
“I feel like, if you called her, and did the whole Black Christmas thing, she wouldn’t know what the fuck movie you’re referencing.” 
“They did a remake in 2019,” Hyuck insists.
“Did anyone actually watch it though?” Johnny’s an avid horror film lover, and if he hasn’t seen the remakes, it’s not looking good for you to be able to pick up the references, a thought that throws Hyuck off.
However, even though he’s been swayed, Hyuck won’t give up on this idea. “Look, think of it as a Love is Blind sort of thing- I can make her fall in love with me over the phone, and then when I reveal myself as her best friend, she’ll be all ‘woah, we’re soulmates!’”
Johnny looks as skeptical as ever. “Are you sure that’s the way this is going to go?”
Hyuck scrunches his nose up in distaste at the lack of support. “Yes.” 
The elder frat boy takes in a deep breath, shaking his head. “If this is what you want to do, I won’t stop you. I just… I think your Angel would react better if you were just straight up with her. Maybe there’s a reason the two of you have never gone past the friend stage. I think the good thing about me doing this last year, was I was just acquaintances with Tiny, I made it clear off the bat that I just wanted to know her better. If she didn’t want me, then that would be fine. If you do this with Angel, and she finds out it’s you and doesn’t return your feelings, you’re going to ruin a friendship.”
Hyuck thinks about what Johnny’s just said as he watches the tall resident Ghostie take another bong hit. It’s true- In Hyuck’s heart of hearts, he knows that… there must be a reason the two of you have never hooked up, but it’s a reason he’s never been able to identify.
The cocky side of him refuses to believe it’s because you’re not attracted to him- there’s definitely sexual tension between the two of you, so it must be something else. 
He’s so tired of toeing the line, especially since you’ve always been kindred, mischievous, horny little souls.
You were with Hyuck when he pranked Sigma Veta Tau last Christmas and put glitter on their ceiling fans. You were with Hyuck when he put a rotisserie chicken in Alpha Tappa Zeta’s air vents. In fact, you’ve been present at almost all of Hyuck’s master plan shenanigans. 
There’s something going on between the two of you and he knows it. 
Last year, when Johnny had pulled his little semi-stalker Ghostie stunt, Hyuck had noted that whoever was behind the anonymous calls had some balls to hit on a girl that way, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t live up to that.
“Listen,” Hyuck sighs. “This is between us. Angel is going to try to figure out who’s calling her, and I need you to keep your mouth shut, okay?”
“Fine,” Johnny agrees, shaking his head. “Hyuck, I love you, but sometimes I forget how much of a dumb frat boy you are.” 
“You know what?” Hyuck grabs at the bong. “I’ll take that as a fucking compliment.” 
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Sunday
You’re in the middle of a much-needed nap. Curled up on your fuzzy blankets, your textbook long since discarded while your mood lighting twinkles through the space, it’s the most comfortable you’ve been all term. It’s late October, the nights come early, and you’re starting to not mind the cool air that seeps through the crack in your window.
It’s because you’re dead asleep, that when your phone rings, you don’t even check who’s calling. You simply bolt up, dazed and confused, reaching to pull your cell to your ear. 
“Hello?”
At first, all you hear is breathing on the other end of the line, and you roll your eyes. You’re no stranger to dumb calls, spam calls, and the like- but then, “Angel?”
Well, this is definitely not a spam caller, they wouldn’t know your nickname if it was.
“Who’s this?” you ask, pulling your phone away from your ear to look down at your screen. It’s a ‘No Caller ID,’ and you let out another exasperated sound.  
“A friend,” the person on the other end of the line tells you. 
“A friend I don’t have in my contacts?” you scoff.
“Burner phone, baby.”
“And what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little ol’ me?” you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance. 
“Why so serious, Angel?”
“Jeeze, dude, if you’re going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.” You can’t believe he’s quoting Health Ledger’s Joker at you now. “Who are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just… early 2000’s.”
“Okay, let me drop character for just a second,” the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. “Think, horny telephone guy.”
“I wouldn’t call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.”
“I’m not Ghost Face!” he insists. “Scream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.” 
“What, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?” you scoff. 
“Fine, I’ll just tell you,” the guy sighs. “Have you seen Black Christmas?”
“Never even heard of it.”
“Fuck,” he curses. “Well, don’t go watch it, it has some cult following but it’s not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because he’s a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, don’t look up the second movie, I don’t claim the sequel.” 
“Wow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,” you giggle.
“Well, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?”
“What’s The Black Phone movie?”
“Ethan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?” 
You let out a whistle. “TBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because I’d bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.”
“I one hundred percent do!” 
“Okay, so back to the point,” you laugh. “You’re calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?”
“To talk to you?” he suggests. “To uh… be horny… at you?” 
“And what does this accomplish? I mean- we all know Johnny’s Ghostie story from last year, he called a girl every day, told her to come to his frat party, and revealed himself there. Is that your game plan?”
“I was thinking about it, but it sounds kind of lackluster now.”
“That’s because it’s not an original idea at all,” you point out.
“Sequels aren’t always original,” the man counters. “Lots of movies have the same plot just different characters, some recurring- look, it doesn’t have to be original. The original angle to this Halloween movie is that I’m going to be way more horny than Johnny probably ever was last year.” 
“And I’m just going to allow that?” you grin. 
“Yeah, because we both know why you have your nickname, don’t we, Angel? You’re a dirty little minx, and you’re going to love this.”
“Except, what if, Halloween comes, and you’re a frat guy that I think is ugly?” you ask. “If you know me, you know I have very specific tastes. There’s only a handful of guys I’d actually be interested in, what makes you think you’re one of them?”
The line is dead for a few stagnant seconds, then, “I just am, okay?”
“Cocky little fucker,” you giggle.
“Don’t be rude.” 
At this point, you’re pretty sure you know who’s on the other end of the line. 
There’s been a few tells from your best friend, Donghyuck. For example, he’s the biggest actual horror buff in the NCT frat. He idolizes Johnny, and was always salty that Mark got the Chicago man as a Big and not himself, so he had a close eye on the events that took place last year in NCT’s ‘Ghostie’ Saga. On top of all of this, there’s an extreme familiarity in the way he’s talking to you, a preexisting natural tint to his diction. Lastly, Hyuck’s the cockiest little dumb frat boy of them all, and it’s one of the reasons you’ve always loved him… one of the reasons you’ve also always kept a bit of distance from your best friend whenever situations have had the option of turning romantic.
Well, if this is how he wants to make his move at you, so be it.
Maybe he’ll convince you that he can be more than a good fuck- you’d never risk your friendship for a one-night stand, no, he’ll have to prove that he could go all in, that he deserves you.
And if all else is just extra, you can at least have some fun toying with Hyuck while he thinks he’s the one toying with you. 
“Okay,” you sigh, stretching. “Let's do this, but we can start tomorrow, you woke me up from a nap, and I’d very much like to get back to it.” 
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Monday
“I’m not waking you up from a nap, am I, Angel?” 
“Nope,” you grin, mischief working its way through your mind as you think of the best way to throw Hyuck off. “I was just watching some porn, flicking the bean, you know, that sort of thing.”
You hear him choke. “F… Flicking the bean?”
“Come on, you have to have heard of flicking the bean!” you insist. “Buddy, you’re the one who’s supposed to be calling me to be horny, this is your perfect opportunity!”
“Right, I uh…” he coughs. “How’s… how’s the bean flicking going?”
“Dude, do you know anything about seduction?” you scoff. “‘How’s the bean flicking going,’” you imitate. “Lame!”
“Rude!” he counters.
God, he’s so obviously Hyuck and you bet he doesn’t even realize it. 
“You know what, if you must ask, the bean flicking is going really well.”
“What kind of porn do you watch?” he questions next. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease.
“Tell me,” Hyuck insists. 
“Might have to get you to beg if you want to hear those kinds of details.”
“I’m the creepy phone stalker, I call the shots.”
You roll your eyes. “Sure you do, buddy.” 
“Stop calling me buddy.”
“Okay, dude.”
“Don’t call me dude either!”
“Then what am I supposed to call you? It’s not like anyone knows the name of the slasher from Halloween Christmas, or whatever. You’re no Ghost Face, friend.”
“It’s Black Christmas,” he corrects you. “And I’m pretty sure his name is Billy.”
“Wow, how sexy, Billy,” you scoff. “You really didn’t think this one through that well, did you, buddy?”
“Original Ghost Face is who? Stu Matcher and Billy fucking Loomis,” Hyuck points out. “It’s not the worst name in the world.”
“Tell me one person who refers to Ghost Face as Billy Loomis though, one person, and I’ll tell you what porn I watch.”
“The… screenwriter?”
“Jesus Christ, dude. That’s such low-hanging fruit.”
“Now tell me what porn you watch.” 
You let out a deep sigh. “All this bickering has me not in the mood anymore.”
“Weird, I’m extra in the mood now.”
“Cuz you’re a weirdo who gets off on play fighting, I bet.” 
His voice takes on a whiney pitch when he says, “Tell me what porn you watch!” 
“Honestly?” You’re tired of this conversation, but you see one last opportunity to toy with Hyuck before you hang up. “Hentaid on Porn Hub, I’m all about that alien, tentacle shit,” your voice takes on the air of a damsel in distress when you muse, “No mortal man can ever satiate me, I’m afraid.”
“Holy shit,” Hyuck whispers. “Are you for real? Tentacle porn?”
“Uh huh, now, goodnight, buddy.” You hang up on Hyuck with a shit-eating grin on your face, knowing you’ve left him something to think about. 
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Tuesday
“Hey,” you say, sitting down next to your best friend in the on-campus burger joint where you spend your Tuesday two-hour period between classes. “I’ve got something to talk to you about.”
Hyuck is mid-bite of a burger, and he holds up a hand, covering his obnoxious eating style. “Just a sec,” he mumbles. 
You wait patiently, staring at your friend while he finishes up. He’s in a black hoodie, and black t-shirt, and his laptop is open next to where he’s eating his combo meal. He’s usually here before you are, scoping out a booth and food so you two can chill in peace before your shared history course. 
History isn’t your major per se, it’s more of a special interest, and the same goes for Hyuck. He’s a film major- another obvious dent in his plan to fly under the radar as your phone stalker who just happens to know everything about horror movies. 
“Okay,” Hyuck says, swallowing the last of his large bite of food. “What’s up?”
“So on Sunday, I got a phone call from some dude with a burner phone,” you explain, watching closely as Hyuck’s brows raise just a moment too late to be legitimate surprise.
“Yeah? What did he say?”
“He’s trying to recreate Johnny’s whole Ghostie thing from last year, but as is the case with most sequels in the horror genre, he’s kind of missing the mark.”
Hyuck chokes a little on his food, and he reaches for his Coke to wash it down. “What’s he doing wrong?”
“What an odd question, Hyuck,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him. “But, to answer it, he’s just… not loose enough. He feels too rigid. I gave him an in last night, if you know what I mean, and he just, fumbled it.”
“An in?” Hyuck cocks his head to the side, “what do you mean?”
“You know, an opportunity to be horny with me.”
“And you want him to be horny with you?”
“I mean, that’s the whole point isn’t it? He promised me he’d be more horny than Johnny was last year, but I feel like Johnny probably had this whole daddy dom thing down- I don’t know what this new guy is trying to give, but he’s not giving, you feel me?”
“Huh, that’s weird,” Hyuck shrugs, picking up his burger again. “Do you have any guesses who it might be?”
You shrug. “He told me it was someone I think is hot. So that means it could be Jaehyun- God, you know how sexy I think Jaehyun is,” - you’re relishing in the way you get to tease Hyuck like this - “it could be Jeno, or Jaemin- I don’t think I’d even mind if both of them came up to me on Halloween, full original Scream style- Jaemin is definitely the Stu Matcher character, though.” 
“Jeeze, Angel,” Hyuck grimaces, putting his burger down and leaning back in the booth. “Do you have to talk about two of my best friends tag teaming you while I’m eating?”
“Sorry, babes,” you snicker. “I just think this week is going to be fun, and I can’t wait for my Billy Halloween Christmas stalker to find his A-game.”
You half expect Hyuck to correct you on the movie title, and you see him bite his tongue, fighting the urge to throw his own cover under the bus in a bid to protect the sanctity of cult films. But alas, Hyuck shuts himself up with another bite of his burger, and with one last look at your friend, you pull out your laptop to actually get some work done.
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Wednesday
“Hey, bud,” you answer your call with a grin, twirling your hair around your finger while your eyes skim your textbook. “What happened yesterday? You never called.”
“You looked busy,” comes a curt retort.
“Oh… did you see me with Hyuck?” you stifle a laugh, of course he’s going to play this jealousy angle, when in reality, he was probably just butthurt about you toying with him. 
“It was hard not to notice you with him,” he responds. 
“Someone sounds jealous.”
“What’s your relationship with him?”
God, Hyuck must be very desperate to be trying to get details out of you about how you feel about him, through his alter ego.
You take a deep breath, closing your book and leaning back in your chair. “We’re close,” you start.
“But just friends.” 
“Just friends,” you confirm. “I guess, I mean, obviously he’s cute. There’s no argument about Hyuck being cute. And he’s fun, he’s cocky, he’s mischievous- I guess my one concern with him is if he could do something long term. I may come off as a dirty little demon child, but in reality- I don’t want to put all my eggs in one guys basket if he’s busy collecting eggs, if that makes any sense.”
“You want a guy who just wants you, who puts in the effort.”
“Exactly.” 
“I’m putting in effort,” your ‘mystery man’ points out.
“I suppose this could be considered effort.” 
“I spent twenty five bucks on this burner phone.”
“Wow, buddy, that must have broke the bank.” 
“I have money!” he insists.
Hyuck definitely has money, it’s one of the reasons he’s probably so cocky. He comes from a large line of Lee’s, a family group that owns development all around the country. You’ve tried not to let any gold digging inklings stain your perception of the frat boy though, that wouldn’t be fair to him.
“Hey, friend?” you ask, choosing a base level nickname for this man who is clearly Hyuck.
“Yes, Angel?”
“Were you thinking about it yesterday?”
“Thinking about what?”
“Me, you know… watching alien tentacle porn and flicking my bean.” You try to make your voice sound innocent, but you can’t help the mischievous grin that works it’s way onto your face. 
You can hear him swallow thickly. “Hold that thought, I’m going to call you back.” 
“Wait-” before you can get an explanation, the line goes dead, and you release an annoyed huff, crossing your arms over your chest.
He’s such a little shit, leaving you hanging like this-
Two minutes go by, then five- and just as you’re starting to be really annoyed, Hyuck calls you back.
“Took you long enough,” you snap.
“Listen, Angel, I needed to get in the mood. I’m too rigid talking to a pretty girl like you, had to take some of the load off.” You can tell, even under his modulated voice, that Hyuck has most definitely just gotten into some weed.
This is so classic him- and to be completely fair, you’ve witnessed the effects of Mary-Jane on one mister Lee Donghyuck. He’s much more suave while green, less anxious, more willing to take risks.
“So, to answer your question,” Hyuck continues, letting out a breath. “I have been thinking about you. Been thinking about your cute voice, how it would sound begging, whining, whimpering- what little noises you’d make choking on cock, or tentacle-” Hyuck laughs. “I’ll be honest, I don’t have an octopus dick or anything. If you let me, you’ll have to be okay with a human style back breaking.” 
You’re shocked.
Had he really just said all of this to you?
Was weed all it took for him to pull up his big boy panties and lay some actual sin onto you?
You can’t ignore the way your pussy flutters with interest at his words, and you shift uncomfortably in your chair. “I’m sure we can make it work… what kind of tool are you packing, buddy?” 
Hyuck chuckles. “It’s thick, I think it will do the job.”
Hyuck isn’t the tallest frat boy, but in no way is he the smallest either. He’s average, and to think that he has an above average girthy dick- well, you can’t help lick your lips in interest. 
“Stalker got your tongue, Angel?” Hyuck asks. “You’ve just gone awfully quiet.”
“I’m just…” you swallow thickly. “Just thinking.”
“About my thick cock splitting you open?” 
God, your pussy is throbbing now- “How… our first few calls were so awkward-”
“I promised you dirty, didn’t I? Needed some courage first, but… I can tell you’re not mad about it.” 
You’re definitely not mad about it.
You think maybe part of you would be upset if you didn’t know your ‘mystery caller’s’ identity- but the safety of knowing, in your heart of hearts, that this is Hyuck- it changes everything, and you can allow yourself to feel the pleasure already beating through you.
“I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.” 
“So…” you find it hard to even speak because he’s so right about his assessment that it hurts. “So… you’re more of a switch?”
“I can be. Generally, I’m not about strict roles in the bedroom, but if you’re into that sort of thing, I can see what it’s about.” 
“Tell me more about being a switch?”
“Don’t want to give you too many details about myself, these calls are about you, Angel.” 
You let out a groan.
“Be patient,” he reminds you. “And tell me, are you as wet right now as I am hard?”
This time, the sound you release is really more of a moan, and it makes Hyuck chuckle darkly.
“I’ll take that as a yes… are you gonna touch yourself after this? Gonna do all the work I can’t do, not yet, anyway.” 
“Maybe…”
“I like the thought of that, two horny people, whacking off together after a phone call, different rooms, but we’ll be on each other’s minds.” 
You get the suspicion that Hyuck is going to be on your mind for a whole lot longer than simply your upcoming bean-flicking session. 
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Thursday
“I’m here, I’m here! What’s the emergency!” Mark asks, out of breath, his cheeks flushed from the cold outside and having just run across campus.
“It’s not an emergency, don’t worry, just sit!” you tell him, pushing out a chair.
“Angel, you texted me, and I quote,” he pulls out his phone, “911, meet me at our spot in the library asap.”
“Well, I wanted you to come,” you shrug.
“God, you’re as much of a drama queen as Hyuck is,” Mark sighs, taking his seat across from you. 
“Speaking of Hyuck…” you grin, leaning forward and clasping your hands together, “your roommate decided to go full Ghostie this year.”
“Wait, he’s not doing Ghost Face for Halloween-”
“No, I mean, like, stalker phone call Johnny Ghostie,” you clarify. 
“What?” Mark’s expression is blank, and he looks completely unimpressed.
“Basically, he called me on Sunday, did this whole thing about doing a Black Christmas character or some shit- he’s been calling me from a burner phone with a voice modulator-”
“Jesus Christ,” Mark sighs, covering his eyes with his hand. 
“The moral of the story is, Halloween night, I’m calling dibs on your room.”
“My room?” Mark peaks out at you through his fingers.
“Your roommate has to get laid. Actually, scratch that, I have to get laid… with your roommate.” 
“This is so-” Mark groans. “I thought we were over this stalker Halloween thing to get girls. Don’t any of us have respect or standards anymore?”
“You’re frat boys, Mark, so the answer on that one is going to be a no from me.”
“Why are you even into this?” Mark questions further. “Like- what’s so sexy about any of this?”
“I mean… it shows Hyuck cares?”
“He cares enough to get a burner phone and a voice modulator and call you and be creepy and horny? Wow, what a huge chivalrous act of love.” 
You narrow your eyes at Mark Lee. “I’m not enjoying your sarcasm, mister.”
“And I’m not enjoying this,” Mark retorts, pointing between the two of you. “Fuck, fine, have my room on Halloween.”
“Last thing though, Hyuck can’t know that I know that he’s the one calling me.” 
“Wait, so this isn’t a bit? He’s committed to trying to trick you?” Mark leans back in his chair, his expression getting even more bleak. “The two of you are crazier than I thought.” 
As you open your mouth to respond, your phone rings, and you look down to see Hyuck’s burner ‘No Caller ID.’
“Heya, buddy,” you answer, bringing your finger to your lips to shush Mark.
“Watcha up to?”
“Just in the library with a friend.”
Hyuck’s tone shifts. “Which friend?”
“Mark, you probably know him.”
“Of course I know fucking Mark. Why’s he with you?” 
“Just chatting… why? You jealous?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes!” You let out a laugh. “Buddy, settle down, we both know I’m not into Mark Lee, we’ve talked about this before.”
“We’ve never talked about Mark,” Hyuck responds, and you realize, you may have just betrayed that you know who he is-
“I mean, he wasn’t on my list with Jaehyun, or Jeno, or Jaemin-” you quickly cover your blunder, and Hyuck releases an annoyed sound.
“I get it, I get it,” he groans. “Fine, finish up your time with fucking Mark, then.” 
“Don’t be salty about this,” you warn.
“Yeah, whatever.” 
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Friday
It’s the final day before Halloween, and if there’s one thing you know for sure, it’s that Hyuck is working. The SVT and NCT frats are the primary workers at the on-campus bar, Skeets, so they have a deal that NCT works the Friday before Halloween, and SVT works the Saturday. 
Knowing these details, you’re also aware that it’s possible Hyuck won’t be home till three am, so you’re a little shocked when you get a call at one.
“Hi, Angel.”
“If it isn’t my favorite stalker,” you grin, pausing your horror film- in all truth, you’d decided to watch Black Christmas, and now you can see why Hyuck told you not to bother, he hasn’t nailed the deranged attitude of the main villain at all. 
“Watcha doin?”
“Not much, you?”
“Not much,” he responds.
“Are you sure?” you counter. “Cuz something tells me maybe you’re working right now… did you get a break, buddy?”
“I’m not working,” he insists. 
“Sure you’re not,” you laugh, dropping the line of questioning. “Hey, tell me again why you chose Billy from Black Christmas?” 
“Seriously?” Hyuck lets out a sigh. “I guess I just wanted… an excuse to be horny on the phone for you, even if it’s just for a week.”
He sounds defeated, and you’re not shocked. Halloween is the busiest night of the year at the bar Hyuck works at, if anything, you’re surprised he even had a moment to dip outside and call you.
“You’re cute,” you muse. “You sound tired, so I’ll let you go, but uh… I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“You will.”
“And how will I know it’s you?” 
“You just will, goodnight, Angel.” 
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Saturday 
You’ve just arrived at the frat party, and already, you’re on the hunt for Hyuck.
At this point, you’re tired of the games. You feel closer to Hyuck, in some odd, sinister sort of way- closer than you ever have before. And you’re tired of hiding it, tired of this weird cat and mouse- you just want to have a conversation with him, to get everything out into the open so you can truly discuss your feelings.
You find him by the beer pong table. He’s in a full denim fit, and you can’t put your finger on who he is as you approach.
“Hey, Hyuck,” you greet, tucking into his side so he can hear you over the music. “Nice Canadian Tuxedo.”
“Do you know who I am?” he asks.
“Uh…” You look at him blankly. “Are you talking about your denim costume? Or the way you’ve been calling me all week?”
Hyuck stares at you in shock. “Uh…” he clears his throat. “I’m Ken… you know, from the Barbie movie.” 
“Right…” you trail off, wondering if he’s going to touch on the Black Christmas side of things.
“Also… what do you mean? About me calling you all week?”
“Hyuck,” you sigh. “Please don’t try to avoid this. Just be honest. It’s you. I know it’s you.” 
He looks at you, and you can see the cogs turning in his mind.
“You told me you’d reveal yourself tonight,” you continue. “I know I kind of just threw you under the bus, maybe I ruined your master plan or something, but I’m tired of pretending I don’t know it’s one of my best friends who’s been calling me all week being horny.”
“Are you mad at me?” he asks, voice lowering. His eyes search yours, as if he’s trying to get a read on you.
“Hyuck,” you let out a laugh, “I’m not mad at all, but I think we should go to your room and talk this out a little, don’t you?”
“I guess that’s a good idea,” he acquiesces. 
“Then let’s go.” You grab his hand, lacing your fingers so you can drag him to the stairs that lead to the second floor. You don’t say anything as you move, you’re on a mission, and what you need to discuss with him is better said alone than in a crowd of horny Halloween partygoers.
You make it to the privacy of his room, and you shut the door behind you. “So?”
“So?” Hyuck moves through the space, and you notice him heading for his bong.
“Hey, don’t do that,” you sigh.
“Don’t do what?” he asks.
“You don’t need to get high to have this conversation.”
“I don’t?”
“No.” You shake your head. “I don’t want you to be high when we do this.” 
Hyuck lets out another deep breath. “This isn’t how I planned things.”
“Yeah, I guess not,” you admit, watching him take a seat on his bed. “How did you see tonight panning out?” 
“I suppose I figured I could get some drinks in, liquid courage, that sort of thing. And then, maybe I’d reveal myself at the end of the night or something.”
“Are you really so scared of me that you need to be drinking to confess how you feel?” you ask, melting a little. You approach Hyuck, sitting carefully on the bed next to him while he faces clear inner turmoil.
“I’m not afraid,” he states, but you can tell from the tone of his voice that there’s something else going on. “I just… You told me you only want a man who can commit, a guy who only has eyes for you- and, I do, but… we both know my playboy track record, and I guess… I just worry about hurting you.”
“Do you want to hurt me?” you question, tilting your head as you try to understand him.
“No, never.”
“Do you think you’re at the point where you could settle down a little? I’m not trying to get you to stop partying, I just mean… committing to one girl, is that something you think you’re capable of?”
“If it’s you, then yeah… I think so,” he nods, finally meeting your eyes.
He looks so vulnerable, and it’s very different from how you usually view your mischievous friend.
“Hyuck,” you whisper, unable to help the way your hand raises to cup his cheek. “I’m willing to give this a shot if you are. If there’s something real here, and it’s not just you being a horny, dumb frat boy.”
“Okay, rude,” Hyuck laughs, showing you a glimmer of the him that you know and love, “It’s more than being horny… but… in all honesty, seeing you in this fucking faerie costume has me all hot and bothered.”
“Yeah?” You lean closer, grinning. Your lips ghost over his when you say your next words, “So what are you gonna do about it?”
Hyuck sucks in a sharp breath, his pupils dilating- you’re so close to him, and you can make out all the pretty shades of brown in his irises. Gosh, he really is a pretty frat boy. 
His hands find your hips, and he tugs your body closer. You can feel him breathing, his gaze darting between your own and your mouth. You watch his tongue dip out to wet his lips, and he swallows thickly.
“Fuck it,” he mutters, finally smashing his lips to your own. 
It’s not gentle by any means, but it’s not necessarily aggressive either- one word to describe this kiss, is: desperate. He’s so eager, and you kind of love it, love the way he tugs you flush to his own body, one hand moving to cup your cheek- his tongue glides against your own and you stifle a moan, shifting in his embrace so you can wrap your arms around his neck.
It feels so good to be pressed against him like this- you’re actually kind of shocked at how good it feels. And his hands, exploring your body, keeping you close, fingers digging into your hips-
Hyuck is everywhere, devouring you like you’re his last meal.
“Oh,” you whisper, when Hyuck’s mouth moves to your neck. “By the way, I called dibs on your room with Mark, he won’t be bothering us.”
Your dumb frat boy pulls away from your throat, a grin on his face. “You really knew it was me all along, huh?”
“You’re not exactly subtle, buddy,” you laugh.
Hyuck shakes his head, reaching to lock the door before his hands ensnare you again. He pushes his body against yours, urging you to move backward until your calves hit the bed. Before pushing you down, he removes your faerie costume wings, and only once the more delicate part of your costume is discarded, does he shove you onto his mattress.
“Hyuck,” you giggle, looking up at him with starry eyes.
“You look so good like this,” Hyuck muses, tugging his denim ‘Ken’ style vest off to reveal a body hardened from Frat mandated work out brother time. He’s not too big, not too built- Hyuck still has some pudge on him, but you kind of love it. You love that it’s not a full six pack and bulging biceps- you can imagine that when this is all done, he’ll be lovely to cuddle with.
In fact, you’re not sure it would matter how muscled Hyuck is. Sure, it helps that he’s physically fit and hot, but- at this point in your friendship, you’re attracted to him for so much more than his body.
No man makes you laugh like him. No man has spent the time that he has to understand you and make you feel comfortable with him knowing you, the true you, the you that you don’t get to show many others.
Hyuck is just… he’s good for you, and he always has been. That goodness has so far been a friend capacity sort of thing, but you’re excited about the new development in your relationship. You think there’s true potential with him, and it makes you dizzy as you stare up at one of your best friends.
“I kind of want to eat you out, Angel,” Hyuck admits, one hand finding your thigh and pushing your short dress even higher up  your leg.
“Funny, I kind of want to suck you off,” you grin, lifting one foot out of your shoe to tease your toes across the front of his jeans.
“So… sixty-nine?” Hyuck asks, gently tracing his fingers across your exposed skin, setting tingles of pleasure off to erupt and skitter through your form.
“That would work, but… I guess… I kind of want to lay with my head lolled off the side of the bed, your cock in my mouth, and your fingers pinching at my nipples while I work my own clit at the same time.”
“Jesus,” Hyuck breathes, swallowing thickly as he looks up at you. “How could I say no to that?” 
“Then, when I’m close to cumming, you can eat me out, get me there, then fuck me stupid for your own release.”
“It’s funny,” Hyuck chuckles, “Here I thought I was the horny one calling you and trying to be a creep, but you’re the one with the dirty mouth and the great ideas.”
“Yeah, your whole Black Christmas thing really wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever heard,” you tease.
“How many times do I have to admit it was a shitty plan but I just wanted to get close to you?”
“At least once more.”
“Fine. Now flip around, loll your head off my bed, let me put my cock down your throat and pinch your nipples while you toy with your cute pussy.”
“How do you know my pussy is cute?” you ask. “You haven't even seen it yet.”
“I’ve been imagining, baby, and as a film major, my imagination is pretty fucking good.”
You giggle, getting into position for Hyuck. He stands near your head as you loll it off the side of the bed, and you get a good view of his bulge straining in his jeans.
“You’re excited,” you muse, cupping him through the denim.
“Who wouldn’t be?” he laughs, undoing his button, then the zipper. “Fuck, you look so good laid out like this.”
“Yeah?” You pull the top of your dress down, releasing your boobs.
“Fuuuuuck,” Hyuck groans, pausing his motions on his jeans to reach down and massage your newly exposed breast. “I knew your tits would be perfect.”
You moan at the feeling of his warm hands. His fingers pinch at your nipple and your moan turns into a whine. “Feels good.”
“You feel good,” he counters.
“Get your cock out,” you instruct, feeling impatient.
“Start rubbing your pussy,” Hyuck retorts with a laugh.
“Yes, sir,” you respond teasingly, reaching one of your hands down to your thighs. You slip it under your dress, deciding on taking your panties off alltogether. 
Hyuck continues to massage you as you pull off your thong. 
You can’t help yourself, you toss it at him, and Hyuck lets go of your breast in favour of catching it. “Fuck, these are cute,” he says, admiring your panties.
“I knew I’d be getting laid.”
His tone shifts to the darker, more annoyed side of things. “Yeah?”
“And don’t get all angsty, I knew I’d be fucking you tonight.” 
“That’s what I like to hear,” Hyuck grins, putting your panties in his pocket before he undoes his jeans, shifting them down his thighs.
The fucker isn’t wearing underwear, and you get a good view of his cock for the first time.
“Fuck, dude, you weren’t lying when you said you were thick,” you muse, licking your lips.
“I’d never lie to you about my cock,” he laughs.
You slip one hand between your thighs, stroking your wet core- it’s crazy how turned on you are from this, but part of you thinks this has been building for a while- for a week, actually.
Hyuck strokes his cock, looking down at you. “Ready for this?” he asks.
“Put it in my mouth,” you command, opening wide for him.
“If I’m going to deep, push my thigh,” he tells you as he slips his cock past your lips.
You moan a sound of affirmation around him, immediately beginning to suck on his tip, getting used to his size before you take more.
Hyuck is surprisingly gentle with how much he’s allowing you to take. If you hadn’t been pacing yourself, you’re sure he’d be pacing you of his own accord. 
One of his hands finds your breast again, pinching the nipple and sending jitters of pleasure down to your throbbing core.
You groan louder around him, sucking more into your mouth as you increase the pressure on your clit.
“This is so fucking hot,” Hyuck moans, thrusting gently into your mouth so you can lay flat and still, allowing him to do most of the work while you rub your pussy deliciously.
You can only let out a sound of affirmation as he uses your mouth.
With your eyes closed, you can focus fully on the feeling of pleasure that’s building inside of you. 
When you’d imagined fucking Hyuck for the first time, this hadn’t necessarily been a position at the forefront of your thoughts- but when he’d suggested eating you out, you’d realized this is exactly what you’d wanted. 
You want to give back to him, want to show him how much you’ve appreciated him taking the leap and telling you how he feels- even if it was in some weird, dumb frat boy, phone call kind of way. 
The way he’s pinching your thighs is actually delicious- and then, you hear him spit, and you feel the cool liquid hit your chest. This time, when he rubs his thumb over your nipple, he spreads his spit across your skin, making it even more intense.
“Part of me just wants to cum on these perfect tits,” he admits.
You make a very clear sound of disagreement, and Hyuck pulls his cock out of your mouth. You’d been salivating so much that as he moves away, your own saliva drips back down onto your face from his length. You swallow thickly, finding your voice. “Need you to cum inside of me.”
“Fuuuuck,” Hyuck groans, pinching your nipple even harder. “You and your creampie kink.”
He slips his cock back into your mouth, and you greedily eat him up.
Then he leans further over your body, his fingers joining yours on your core. “You’re so fucking wet,” he muses, pushing your hand out of your way so he can rub your clit, gently fucking your face as he does so.
It’s a shallow face fucking, as he’s bent over your laid down body to access your core, but you don’t mind.
Your eyes are still closed, and you’re enjoying every sensation, bringing your free hands up to your breasts to massage them and pinch your own nipples.
“You look so sexy, want you to cum so bad so I can fuck you stupid,” he tells you, rubbing your clit even harder.
You rut your hips up toward his hand, a non verbal motion that tells him you’re close.
God, it’s like he’s been in your pants before- he knows exactly how to stroke and massage your clit-
“And you’re still sucking me off so good-” he continues. “And grabbing at your tits too, you’re my insatiable little Angel, aren’t you?”
You moan deeply around his cock, and Hyuck fucks you a little harder, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag around him, feeling tears in your eyes.
“Shit, sorry, Angel, fuck, that just felt so good- can I do it again? Can I fuck your throat again?”
You make a sound of affirmation, shocked at how your body had reacted to his cock being fully inside of your mouth. A tingle of excitement had run through you, your nipples getting intensely sensitive, your core throbbing-
Hyuck does it again, hitting the back of your throat, and the same sensation happens. You can feel yourself getting desperately close to the edge, and you hardly have to do anything. Other than pinching your own nipples, Hyuck is the one taking care of you, and you kind of love it.
“I can tell you’re close, Angel,” Hyuck chuckles. “Fuck, gonna cum from me fucking your face and rubbing your clit, right?”
You moan desperately, wiggling your hips. Hyuck reads your cue, rubbing your clit even harder.
Now, you can’t help but pull off his cock, pushing his thigh to give you a bit of space.
“You good?” he asks, motions pausing.
“Yeah,” you tell him, swallowing thickly as you grab his cock to stroke him off. “Just keep- fuck, keep rubbing me like that, I’m so close-”
“Fuck this,” Hyuck mutters, and all of the sudden, he’s pulling away.
You let out a whine- only for him to spin you on his bed. He sinks to his knees, drawing your core to the edge where your head had just been, then he dives in, his lips immediately suctioning around your clit.
Two fingers push into your aching core and you whimper desperately, grabbing at his hair to keep him on your pussy as he works you closer and closer-
“Hyuck-” you cry out, muscles clenching-
One more slurp on your clit has you topping over the edge, entire body electrified by the orgasm surging through you.
You slap a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle your sounds as he works you through your high. He doesn’t quit, doesn’t pull away- he sucks your clit through your entire high, until your thighs are shaking on his shoulders and you’re on the verge of tears.
“Okay-” you whimper, pushing at his head. “Sensitive-”
Hyuck finally lets up. You open your eyes to watch him stand, pulling his fingers from your core and sliding them into his own mouth.
“You taste just like Halloween candy, baby,” he muses, eyes clouded with lust.
“I wanna taste,” you whisper.
Hyuck pushes his jeans completely off, and then he gets on top of you, smashing his lips to your own. The flavour of your pussy is hot on his tongue, and it invades your senses, driving you wild as you kiss him deeper, threading your fingers through his hair.
His cock nudges between your pussy lips as he grinds down against you, rocking his hips.
“Fuck me,” you tell him, moving your mouth to suck on his ear lobe.
“Shit,” Hyuck groans, shivering from the sensation of your tongue on his ear. “Want you naked first.”
He pulls away just long enough to tug your dress up and over your head, then he returns to his spot, his cock rutting against your core once more.
The two of you have been friends forever. Hyuck knows you have an IUD, he’d been there for you when you’d gotten it last year, when you’d just wanted to stay in bed and rot for a few days. There’s no need to discuss birth control or safety- all there’s left to do, is have his thick cock fill you in ways you’ve been wanting all week.
Hyuck adjusts, grabbing his base so he can push his tip into your throbbing hole.
“Fuck,” you whimper in his ear, clutching his shoulders as he pushes an inch into you.
“You good?” he asks, breath hot on your throat.
“So good,” you respond, locking your legs around his hips.
He pushes deeper into your pussy, and your core welcomes him in, walls stretching to accommodate his thick cock. 
Hyuck bottoms out, and you both groan deeply. He forces his lips onto your own again, and it’s a clash of teeth and tongues.
It’s animalistic in the best sort of way- like you’ve both been caged up for as long as you’ve known each other, and you’re finally letting your beasts out to do the most primal thing imaginable.
There are no thoughts in your mind as Hyuck begins to fuck you, there’s only you, him, and this intense feeling of pleasure.
You feel so connected to him- missionary isn’t always the most fun position, but with Hyuck, it feels right. It feels like this was meant to be your first time together, face to face, lip locked, breathing each other in, moaning desperately as he takes you as his own.
“Fuck,” Hyuck groans, gently biting on your lip. “Your pussy is taking me so fucking well- first your mouth, now this- how do you expect me to last long?”
“I don’t,” you giggle. “You made me cum so hard on your tongue, I’m about ready to be filled with your cum and then lay here.”
“I’m gonna cuddle the shit out of you after this.”
“You better,” you grin.
Hyuck smiles against your lips, kissing you again as he fucks you even harder.
The stretch of his girthy cock is unlike anything else- and it feels like heaven as he pounds you into his mattress.
“Rub your clit?” he suggests.
“I can’t- I can’t cum again,” you whimper, still sensitive from your first orgasm.
“I’ll have to train you to cum more after this,” he promises.
You can only grin, drawing his lips to your own again as he uses you to find the ends of his own pleasure.
His whimpering sounds are like music to your ears- fuck, Hyuck is too hot to even imagine. Had this guy really been one of your best friends for this long without you ever exploiting this?
You’re so fucking happy he’d called you and been weird all week- it was the perfect foreplay, and now, you’re completely enraptured by him.
“Shit,” Hyuck groans. 
“You close, baby?” you ask.
“Fuck, call me baby again.”
“Baby,” you whimper, “your cock feels so good in my tight pussy.”
Hyuck moans even louder. 
“Just like that,” you encourage him, tightening your legs on his hips. “Keep doing that- right there-” The tip of his cock is hitting the perfect spots inside of you, and you’re gasping from the feeling, burrowing your face in his throat and panting against his skin.
“Shit, Angel-”
“Cum for me, baby, cum in my pussy,” you urge him.
That’s all it takes for him to explode, letting out a deep groan as he releases deep inside your core, coating your walls with him.
His thrusts falter, his breathing laboured, entire body shivering-
You stroke the back of his head, cooing in his ear, helping him through it until he’s finished, coming to a stop ontop of you and breathing heavily.
“Good boy,” you tease.
Hyuck lets out a deep chuckle, and it turns into a sigh. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“And you’d love that.”
“I would,” he admits. “Okay, fuck, I’m gonna pull out, gonna grab some tissues and sweat pants- we can head to the bathroom down the hall and hopefully clean up a little, then we’re gonna cuddle.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” you grin, laying there as he groans and gets off of you, following through with his intentions.
Soon, cum is being wiped from your pussy and you’re being helped into sweatpants.
The two of you exit his room, and you’re very pleased to see that most of the party is downstairs, leaving his floor pretty vacant. 
You make your way to the bathroom with him, clutching his hand.
Once there, you both clean up, and you listen to Hyuck splash water on his face while you pee, making sure all his cum is out of you.
The two of you make it back to his room, collapsing into bed. He pulls you to his chest, cuddling you close.
“Before I pass out… how did you know it was me on the phone?” he asks.
“Out of everyone in the frat, you idolize Johnny the most. It wasn’t a reach that you’d recreate his Ghostie thing last year. On top of that, you’re a film major, you know horror movies better than anyone else. And, you’re a horny fucker, which is something I’ve always loved about you- I just… I needed you to make a move, which you never really did, until now. It just… made sense that it was you. The way we talk to each other, I could tell it was you from the very first call.”
“Here I was, thinking I was all suave and shit.”
“You were very suave, baby,” you grin, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.
“Happy Halloween, Angel.”
You giggle. “Happy Halloween.” 
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! find my other nct frat fics (including Ghostie) HERE. I made this meme for this fic because it's so them.
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🔮 preview. “So, I’m gonna finger fuck you stupid,” he explains, pushing his digits back into you. “And then, I’m going to apply pressure, right here-” Hyuck’s hand smooths across your abdomen, even the slightest push makes you feel his fingers deep in your core, and you release a whine of pleasure. “Yeah, you’re going to love this,” he confirms with a grin. 
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, oral ( f receiving), pussy worship, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, overstim, squirting, dirty talk, praise, Hyuck holds the reader down by her abdomen, etc… I petnames: (y/n’s) Angel. (his) Baby. 
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.4k I teaser wc. 220
🌙 staring. Haechan x afab!reader
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bonus
You love Hyuck, you do- but sometimes (especially when watching movies) he has this tendency to… well, never shut up.
“Okay so, coming up, when the alien pops out of his body, the director didn’t tell anyone this was going to happen, so when Sigourney Weaver and the others react, it’s genuine shock and surprise-”
You love his facts too, you do… but… sometimes, they get a bit much.
“Baby,” you coo, cuddling closer to your boyfriend, “Can we just… watch the movie?”
“We are watching the movie.”
“I mean… God, I’m going to sound like a bitch, but can we get through like… ten minutes without a fun fact?”
“But… my fun facts are fun.”
“They are, baby, they are,” you assure him, patting his chest, “I just…” you sigh, “ten minutes?”
“I can think of a distraction for my mouth,” Hyuck grins.
Your pussy immediately flutters, picking up on what he’s saying. “Yeah? Don’t you want to watch the movie?”
“I’ve seen it a billion times.” His hand rubs your shoulder and he nuzzles against your cheek, breath hot on your skin. “Come on, let me eat out your pretty pussy. I’ve been wanting to overstim you for a hot minute- I think I could get three or four out of you while you’re watching.”
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whirlybirbs · 3 months ago
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— BRUISED EGO ; PART ONE ; TOSHINORI YAGI ; 俊典
summary: you & toshinori have a great working relationship. all might is like a mentor. a great guy. a real, stand-up dude. a hero who inevitably has to help you deal with the side-effects of being hit with a love quirk. pairing: younger!toshinori yagi / f!reader ; hero name: derecho word count: 3.6k of pure smut tags: afab!reader, fingering, oral (female receiving), piv, denying feelings, toshi being a genuine lover-boy, someone has a praise kink, surprise it's me, minors dni a/n: i love young dumb full of cum late-twenties all might the tag | next →
"You don't look well—"
"Don't."
You could fry him right now. You could totally, absolutely, blast him with ten thousand volts and call it a night — but you can't, really, because he's fucking All Might. He's All Might and even worse, he's Toshinori Yagi. 
He's... kind. And gentle. And patient. And levelheaded... If not the single reason your entire life fell apart seven years ago.
(That is not true. You know it. You and your therapist have worked through that stuck point — but, it sounds a hell of a lot better than explaining the reason you ended up in prison was by your own actions, not being caught by All Might.)
You're reformed.
Blah, blah, blah, you're the Villain Rehabilitation Program's star graduate. 
They loved using your imagery — the ones of you before you got clean off those Quirk enhancers and put on the straight and narrow —in their PR packages. They love that picture of you — the ones with hands behind your back — cuffed by All Might as you're effectively muzzled by the local law enforcement.
Your lip catches in a snarl.
Don't think about that. 
Don't think about his hands on your wrists. Don't think about the way his boot nudged your leg apart for the frisk — don't think about the way he threatened you, so low and so dangerous, not to move. 
Don't think about how All Might is a bastard, and the media just doesn't know it. 
He's cheeky. Sly. When he's out of the limelight, that eerie #1 smile drops and he's almost normal — if not nearly five hundred and sixty pounds of muscle.  
Like now, on this rooftop, he's more like Toshinori Yagi. Your impromptu mentor in all things heroic. After all, the Hero Commission thought it would be great for the program's image if All Might, the man who arrested you countless times, was the one to integrate you into a more heroic notion. Never mind the dozens of times you went head-to-head with the man, never mind the handful of times you almost won. 
"Derecho, I'm serious," comes his voice; it's softer, almost like he's in his smaller form — the one you always find yourself being partial to, "You look feverish..."
Static snaps across the air and Toshinori takes it — the way it bites at the skin of his hands is nothing. It's a warning shot. Don't come any closer. 
"I was hit with that guy's quirk," you mutter as you try to square your breathing, "I'm fine, I just... Need some time—"
Son of a bitch. 
You've always been a hard one to shake — and even now, as you climb well into the Top Ten ranks, he's never seen you this out of it. You've taken a crowbar to the ribs and recovered better than being hit by some petty criminal's love quirk. 
Toshinori curses under his breath as he winces at the desperation cracking in your voice. 
"If you need to take the night—"
"Yes."
He was slotted to patrol this prefecture with you for another two hours — but seeing the way your whole body looks like it could collapse is... a bit concerning. Toshinori nods, exhales, and waves you on.
"Should I call Recovery Girl?"
Your boot toes the ledge. You need out of this outfit. It's too tight. You're too hot. Your skin feels like it's on fire and the embarrassing ache between your legs is just getting worse with every low, timbred syllable out of his mouth. Don't think about his mouth. 
"I'm fine." 
You're not fine.
Even when you're back in your apartment, trying desperately to shower off the skin-crawling, mouth-watering heat of desire, you can't even come close to relating to the word 'fine'. You're a mess. You try to stand under the heat of the water for a while, to burn the need off your skin, but that doesn't work. 
You're so not fine. 
You can't stop thinking about Toshinori. Must be something to do with the fact he was closest when you were struck with the quirk. Yea. Totally that.
You have to be fine. You need to be fine. This is just a stupid love quirk that will wear off within a few hours. 
Well, a few hours come and go, and it's just getting worse. 
Come on, you are torturing yourself with the evening news, just breathe it out. 
Because you're a hero, and you were a villain. You know what it's like to get hit with disconcerting quirks like this in the heat of a battle. With just a little time, it goes away. Right? 
Right...?
"I AM CALLING! I AM CALLING!" 
Your phone vibrates on the coffee table. Your pupils, full-blown and big, swivel to the photo that ignites the dark of the room. It's a photo of Toshinori — he's in his smaller form, posed beside you in a ramen booth close to U.A.'s campus. He was hellbent on giving you a tour of his old high school.
You always loved how cute he looked in that picture.
Fuck.
You snatch the phone up and answer the call.
"What?" it comes out snappier than it needs to be. 
"Are you doin' alright?" his voice has lost its persona'd gusto. You can tell, just by the soft way he speaks, he's no longer in uniform or on patrol. All Might has clocked out for the evening, and Toshinori Yagi is in the building, "I haven't heard a peep from you all night, zippy." 
Something in your brain goes blank at the nickname. You usually hate it. Usually, you'd bite at him for it. You don't even realize you're white knuckle gripping the edge of the couch as he continues to speak. 
"Y'know, it's okay — I've been hit by love quirks plenty of times before," he goes on; you can hear him juggle the phone to his other ear, "They aren't fun. I'm sorry you're—"
"Come over."
Toshinori almost drops the can of soda in his hands. In the middle of the convenience store aisle, he feels his entire body lurch. 
"What?"
Your head is back against the couch, your hands covering your face in sheer embarrassment. You grit it out again. "I said come over."
"Derecho—"
"I've tried everything," you mutter defeatedly into the phone; you can't even pull your hand from your face, you're so embarrassed you're even telling him this but you need help, "Fingers, toys, even the Hitachi on the highest speed, Toshinori, and I can't—"
Jesus fucking Christ. 
This is bad.
This is... not you. So not you. This is... fuck, okay, right. He's All Might. He helps people. And you're important to him. You're his enemy turned pseudo-protégé turned colleague turned woman-he's-been-ignoring-his-feelings-for-the-last-seven-months. You're Derecho. Number Eight Hero in Japan, his friend. His...
"Give me ten."
And he hangs up.
Two boxes of XL condoms earn him a severely skeptical look from the cashier, but it's fine. Toshinori has bigger things to worry about — like the fact he has no idea what this is going to do to your working relationship, but it's fine. You need help. He knows what this is like — and he would feel awful if he left you to deal with it alone. 
Fingers, toys, even the Hitachi— 
Maybe he'll die, actually. Maybe he'll just throw himself from the nearest roof. 
The mental image of you, alone in your apartment, hands between your thighs as you try desperately to shake the painful ache in your core has him walking a bit faster — your apartment is three blocks over. 
He makes good time.
His knuckles don't even touch the door before you're yanking it open — and Christ, you're a sight to see.
Wet hair, wild eyes, and a permanent heavy breath. The oversized t-shirt clinging to your shoulders is definitely going to be a topic of discussion for a later date. It's All Might merch. His fucking merch. 
When did you even buy that—?
"I'm sorry," you blurt out, looking pained. 
Toshinori's eyes hold your own. Then:
"I've always been a sucker for a damsel in distress."
He's a bastard. A serious bastard. A bastard who you're dragging in by the neck of his t-shirt — a bastard who doesn't complain in the slightest when your mouth is on his in a flash. With ease, he slams the front door shut with his boot and quickly allows you to guide him through your apartment. Your mouth is still latched to his, your hands digging into his shoulders as his hands chase your waist. 
You recognize in the heated haze of the kiss there's a grocery bag in his hand. It knocks against your hip as you accidentally back into the edge of the couch — your hands fumbling for some purchase in the dark living room. 
You pull your mouth from his just long enough to breathe out another apology. 
"Don't. We'll talk about it after," he says, leaning down over you as you scramble back against the leather couch cushions, "What do you need?"
"What do you think?" you hiss as his body presses against yours; he's still in his boots, still in his shirt and jeans. He's... too clothed. Your body couldn't handle anything except the less-than-flattering pair of cotton underwear and the biggest t-shirt you owned. 
You swear he's smirking in the dark. 
"Mouth? Hands?" he presses, his touch cradling your face as he continues to navigate your steady, bruisingly needy kisses, "Use your words."
"Anything—"
Your voice is a rasp, your hands scaling his back as he nudges your knees apart with his thigh and slots his hips against yours. Even in this smaller form, he's got the tactical advantage — not being near death from a fever so high you can hardly think anymore. 
"I need to know," he says as he leans back, his voice dipping lower as his palms brush the skin of your stomach. His fingertips hesitate at the edge of your waistband, and you whine. 
"Anything, Toshinori, stop jerking me around!" 
...What a brat. He almost laughs. But, then he remembers the one time he was left like this — and how desperate he was even after six hours of exhaustive attempts at self-pleasure. 
"Be nice," he chirps as his fingers slip beneath your underwear; his satisfaction builds when you fist the back of his shirt and gasp — his fingers grace the slick, wet folds of your core with ease. It's a tender movement, one that assesses just how pliable you are at this moment. 
And then, two of his fingers are pushing into you down to his knuckles. 
The babbled thank you bursts from your chest — and Toshi actually laughs at how fast you cling to his chest. He didn't anticipate his night going like this. Not with you, wild-eyed and desperate, pulling him into a kiss that's so bruising he thinks his lip splits.
Hands. Hands. Hands. His hands. One hand is between your folds, working you open, and the other is pressing up your curves and settling along your breast. You can't even think straight. The fact Toshinori is so slick, so eager, so good at whatever he's doing, is making the coil in your abdomen go white hot. 
"Fuck—" you strangle out, your lips parted in a gasp as he wets his own lips and watches your face in the dark, "G-God, okay, th-that's good—"
"Better than your own?" he asks, genuinely worried this isn't the progress you need to shake off the quirk's effects. 
"So much better," you wail, coincidentally fueling his ego in a way he never knew he needed. Because, ha, well — who knew Derecho, little miss spiteful and mysterious, just needed a little bit of him. 
"Is it enough?" he asks against her jaw, his forearm flexing as he works the pace up, his palm rubbing gently against your clit. It's an attempt at a coordinated pace, and it seems to be working from the way you're writhing beneath him. 
"I... I still — I can't — I'm so..." you look like you could cry out of sheer frustration, and Toshi suddenly feels a pang of guilt. He can only imagine how you've done this very thing over and over tonight, trying to just cum. Your voice cracks and you whimper, "I can't. I'm so close, but I just can't—"
"Okay," he breathes, his mind swirling with strategic planning, "So mouth."
"Mouth?" you choke, suddenly looking alarmed, but Toshi doesn't seem to care about the added snare of intimacy that comes with him slipping to his knees before the couch. 
Oh my god, he's on his knees. He's on his knees and he's grappling with your underwear, hauling it down the tops of your thighs before throwing it over his shoulder in a very Toshinori manner. 
You've got All Might on his knees. 
It suddenly hits you as he sits up on his knees and nudges your legs apart. He's a man on a mission — dedicated entirely to the task at hand. 
Making you orgasm. 
You wonder how many people have fantasized about this very thing — granted, he's not costume. Thank god. You can't even imagine what the conversation with his dry-cleaning team would look like. 
Toshi's voice knocks you back to reality. "Is this okay?"
He sounds concerned.
Meanwhile, you could kill him. If he doesn't put his mouth on you right now—
Noted. He sees the spark of annoyance, dumb question, and hauls your leg over his shoulder as he delves in. 
Ohmygod.
This is better — the coil is wound tighter, and a little bit closer to snapping, the second his tongue presses flat against your glistening slick. It's even better when he hums, his voice mumbles against your sex as his hands press your thighs to open a bit farther. 
"Keep 'em open."
"Don't talk," you heave between pants, "With your mouth full."
It's like the two of you are at work — this banter. But, his laugh vibrates your core and you moan. That doesn't happen at work. That doesn't happen, ever. A greedy part of you sure as hell hopes this happens again, because holy hell, he's good at this. Methodical. Strategic. Thorough.
His pace doesn't change, the pressure doesn't lessen. The blonde streaks of his fringe tickle the inside of your thighs as he continues his work — and you swear you almost cum when he slips a look up at you in the dark. 
His eyes are so blue that you feel like you're suddenly lost at sea. 
Then, there are two crooked fingers back inside of you. 
You and he are going to have to have a long talk about where he learned all this — because it's so good you genuinely can't do anything but reach out and grip his hair in a panic. You gasp, your whole body convulses, and you almost... almost cum. Almost.
It's Toshi's turn to moan. 
You're suddenly so oversensitive you swear your heart might stop. 
You're writhing away from him, squirming away, and Toshi's lips are parted as his breath fans across your core. 
"Cock," you're suddenly rambling, "N-Need — I need—"
"Right," he stutters, realizing this is good — you're almost there, he can tell. You're so close he can feel it in the air. The static electricity burning off your quirk leaves the room feeling tingly. 
He's wobbling back upright, cursing as he practically falls around the couch in the dark, and palms at the grocery bag he discarded on the floor. He's not graceful about the way he tears about the small box, or about the way he drops the foil square between his teeth as he leans back to work off his belt. 
"Bedroom?" he asks through gritted teeth.
You're nodding, practically falling over yourself to lead the way. Boots, jeans, belt, shirt — all of it is left scattered along the way, and your bare body hits the sheets after an easy shove from Toshinori. Of course, the boxers clinging to his strong thighs are his brand. The All Might logo is almost comical stretched across his hardness. 
You have the wherewithal to roll your eyes as he tears open the condom with his teeth. 
"What?" he shirks, looking down.
"Seriously?" you grit, legs pressed together tightly to try and stop the empty ache between your legs. It hurts. It hurts so much worse when his mouth and hands aren't on you.
"Don't even start," he rumbles as he rolls down the waistband and his cock springs free — he's quick to roll the condom down the thick length of it and lift a finger to wag in your face, "You answered the door in my merch—" 
"Setting the mood," you offer as he steps out of his underwear.
Toshinori then, unceremoniously, drags your hips to the edge of the bed. You almost shriek. It's a bit rough — a bit sudden — but you can't complain when the head of his cock is suddenly being guided through your folds teasingly. Up and down. Over the swollen bud of your clit, across your wet opening. You prop yourself up on your elbows, lips parted, as you try and nudge your hips closer. 
His large hand presses your hips down to the mattress. 
"Toshinori—"
"You sure this is okay?" he mutters, his pupils full-blown as he watches himself slip through your wetness, "I— If it's too much—"
"If you don't fuck me right now—"
"Right."
And he sinks in.
Ha. 
Yea. 
This is good.
You're so glad you didn't fry him earlier. You're so glad. You're so... oh, this is so so so ridiculously good you might die. You might die, because he's snapping his hips into yours and you can see the ripple of his muscles, even in this smaller form. 
His breath is ragged, his voice low and easy.
"You're doing a great job," he says; your core tightens at the sudden praise, "Y-You're doin' really... good—"
Your chest bounces with each thrust, your legs locked around his hips, your whimpers increasing in frequency with every single in and out of his cock. The feeling is better than any sex you've ever had — you've never been so aware of every inch. 
And then, he's knocking his forehead against yours, leaning over you — you're caged against the mattress, and one arm of his is holding your leg up around his waist. The angle change is minute but it's good. Everything is Toshinori so suddenly, everything is so blue eyes and a bright smile. 
It's thorough, a word you're slowly beginning to realize describes Toshinori to a T. There's not a single falter in his pace, not a single thrust that doesn't wind the white-hot orgasm tighter and tighter in your belly. It's worse when he holds your face, though, worse when he keeps fucking you so well while chattering on about how good you are, how strong you are, how beautiful you are—
Your composure snaps when he rumbles out:
"I know you can cum for me like a good girl."
The coil snaps.
Finally. 
After four hours of torture. After four hours of trying. Finally, you cum — and hard. The sort that robs you of your vision and hearing, the sort that has your whole body arching off the bed. The kind you haven't had in a long time. The kind that, of course, Toshinori Yagi would be the man to provide. 
"Fuckfuckfuck—" you babble, gasping, still gripped by the force of the orgasm as his pace quickens.
He's laughing — laughing, and then you're clamping down on him so hard he sees stars. It's all fun and games until he can't stop himself, he can't slow down, he can't breathe, and he's rocked by an orgasm that makes his knees give out. He's wild-eyed, panting, snapping his hips into yours as you whimper and gasp and grip his shoulders so tight he may have bruises. 
Toshinori swallows, then gasps to catch his breath, and then pushes himself up to give you a little room to breathe. His cock is still twitching inside of you.
Your eyes are closed, and your breath is fast. Your hair is spilled across the sheet — and you look content. Satiated. Peaceful. He's rarely ever seen you so tranquil. 
Blindly, and lazily, you reach up to touch his cheek.
At first, he thinks it's going to be tender. Intimate. Romantic.
Then, you roughly pat it twice.
"We're never gonna talk about this again."
Right. 
Because he's All Might. And you're Derecho. You're colleagues. Friends. This was just... him helping you. Like when a friend has a cold. You bring them soup. He... brought you... an orgasm. Just like soup.
Definitely.
...Right. 
"It was just, uh," he breathes, pulling out and cursing at the embarrassingly apparent load in the condom; not like he'd dreamed about this very thing for nights on end, no siree bob, "You needed help. I offered."
That is not what happened. Not even close. But, he's going to tell himself that.
Not like you totally won't think about this every single night ever for the rest of time. Definitely like you won't dream about the way he called you a good girl. Ha. Yea, right. Psh. You're fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.
After all, it's just Toshinori.
He's... kind. And gentle. And patient. And levelheaded... If not the single reason your entire life fell apart seven years ago.
And definitely not the reason your life is falling apart right now as you realize, fuck, you're definitely in love with him, aren't you?
Naaah.
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