#just doing my job as russian bot

[komsomolka]

dear president putin, my people suffer under unjust and bloodthirsty natoland regime, please liberate us with your new oreshnik missiles🙏

[pfhwrittes]

hey p this is nobody you know but do you have thoughts about depot mouse seeing something they shouldn't have seen? 😇

hello friend! (who i definitely don't know, no siree) i waffled over this and my search results are now full of dubiously legal activities that i definitely haven't ever seen in practice, not even once mr/ms/mx GCHQ person checking online traffic. (i also got distracted by portakabin set ups, but that's a separate issue.) and then my brain spat this out for the tradieverse.

does it answer the prompt? eh, vaguely. but i hope you'll be pleased with it.

tags/tw: non-sexual semi-nudity, russian pet names (pchelka = little bee, myshka = mouse, milaya = darling/sweetie/dearest), light angst at the end, and a very brief mention of choking.

author's note: barely skimmed for typos and bad grammar as always and a patented (by @/391780) abrupt ending because i couldn't figure out how to end it and it was getting away from me.

at this point, you're certain nikolai thinks it's funny to have you running around after him. flitting from your office to the driver's "lounge" (another portakabin, this time outfitted with a row of lockers, a sagging sofa, a table and set of scattered chairs, and a small kitchenette area), you yank open the door and your waspish comments die on your tongue.

nikolai is leaning against the counter of the kitchenette. in his pants. in just his pants.

unbidden your eyes skate over his broad shoulders, down over a glimmering gold chain that is nestled in thick, dark hair that spreads wildly over his chest to a soft stomach, to land on the tightest pair of black briefs you've ever seen.

"hello, myshka." nik's voice snaps you out of your staring and you feel heat flooding your cheeks as you tear your gaze away from his... underwear to meet his amused brown eyes.

"i, um, i was looking for you." you absolutely do not let your eyes drop below his neck as nik redistributes his weight as he laughs.

"and now you have found me." nik grins, a flash of surprisingly white teeth considering the amount of black tea and cigarettes he imbibes.

"yes, i wanted to - sorry, but why exactly are you in your pants?" you blurt out.

nik shrugs his broad shoulders and you drag your gaze up to look just past his left ear where a damp lock of black hair curls lazily.

"my clothes are wet." he says simply, like that explains everything. it probably does, knowing the very little you do know about nik.

there's a beat of silence where nik continues to grin and you ignore the way your neck and face are blazing with heat.

"right." you clear your throat uncomfortably. "anyway, i need your receipts."

"it's no problem, i've already handed them to farah." nik waves your words off with a lazy flap of his hand.

"yes, it is a problem! you can't just hand your receipts off to the head of the company, nikolai!" you huff irritably and nikolai interrupts you with a loud boisterous laugh.

"ah, pchelka." he sighs fondly, "always so busy running around, you miss what's right in front of your nose."

that brings you up short and you scowl furiously at him. of course he would think that, all he has to worry about to getting from the depot to the job site and back again. he isn't having to chase wayward drivers around for scraps of paper, or answering the phone to a disgruntled jonathan price when he can't get hold of nikolai, or answering emails with the subject line "how much 4 hardcore??" that you hope to god have come from a bot and not some sad, lonely weirdo thinking that a haulage company offers pornography.

the grin on nik's face flickers slightly and you see his eyes are no longer amused, but soft, almost apologetic.

"sweetness, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to imply-"

"it's fine." you interrupt him, your tone has gone flat and professional despite the way frustration burns at your lungs, urging you to unload all of your irritation on the man. "i'll just go ask farah for the receipts."

nik takes a step towards you.

"milaya -"

"no, really nik." you turn away to push at the door, "thank you for your help as always." you shove open the door and stomp across the dirt to the office you share with farah, leaving nik behind you in his underpants.

(later in the afternoon, after you had emailed farah to send you copies of nikolai's receipts, you lean back in your chair and refuse to let your mind drift back to the glittering gold chain resting on nik's collarbone.

and if you do, it's only because you're thinking about wrapping it around your fist to strangle the insufferable man with it, honest. )

[pipsipey17]

it's part of the job | chapter 1: i put a spell on you.

ceo!dom!natasha romanoff x assistant!bot!fem!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

summary: natasha becomes smitten with you much to your liking but you knew it was wrong, you hated being a mistress but you love the intimacy she gives you.

chapter warnings: none as of now :>

next chapter

You’re working as a part time assistant for almost two months now at a very known company named, ‘The Outset’ owned by the famous Natasha Romanoff whom you have quite the little crush on, but unfortunately for you, she’s already married to a woman named Wanda Maximoff. 

As much as you hate to admit it, you wouldn’t stop fantasizing about the woman, she is your type after all. You just love everything about her, especially her being a dominant and elegant woman.

“Enter.” You heard your boss say after you knocked on the door. 

You opened the door and you immediately said, “Mrs. Romanoff, the administration asks you to sign these.” you then placed a stack of papers on her desk.

Natasha hummed in response and then asked, “Anything else?” her eyes looking at your eyes directly as you stood in front her desk. 

“You have a meeting with Mr. Rogers and Mr. Stark at 2pm, but other than that, there’s nothing else.” you replied to her but you saw that her eyes left yours, you followed her eyes and saw that she was looking at your sort of exposed chest because of the few undone buttons of your blouse.  

You quickly fixed the buttons which made your boss look into your eyes again, “Right, since Meg isn’t here today until next week you’ll be the one accompanying me to my meetings.” Natasha said and you replied, “Will do, Mrs. Romanoff.” 

You turned around and started to walk out of her office but then you heard her say, “Don’t be late, kotenok.”

Again with that fucking nickname.

It stopped you from your tracks for a few seconds but you immediately came back to your senses and walked out of her office. 

You got back to your desk and started answering numerous emails as well as phone calls. Your mind then wandered off to Natasha Romanoff, aka your boss. 

Your boss is quite a nice person, though many of your coworkers feared her due to her being a strict and intimidating boss, but she is one of the nicest people you met, which is also one of the reasons why you have a crush on her. The example being that when Meg informed Natasha that her final exams are coming up, Natasha allowed your cousin to take a two week leave so that she can study for her final exams.  

Your thoughts then wandered to the endearments that Natasha would call you.

“Malyshka”

“Detka”

“Dorogoya”

“Kotenok”

The weird thing is that she doesn’t call others those endearments, not even your cousin, only you. But you don’t understand the Russian language so it just leaves to wonder what those endearments meant. 

You then realized that she started calling you those certain nicknames when the both of you had a little talk while doing some paperwork a few weeks back.

~~~

“Anyone special in your life Y/n?” You suddenly heard your boss ask you seemingly just to have some type of conversation as the both of you were doing some paperwork. 

“I don’t know what you mean, Mrs. Romanoff.” you said trying to clarify what she meant. 

“You know, like a boyfriend.” Natasha said as she looked at you curiously.

“O-Oh, well… I’m actually not interested in men.” You replied.

“Interesting, so you’re a lesbian?” Natasha asked and you nodded in response, “Any girlfriend then?” she added. 

“Nope, none as well.” You replied as you finished organizing some documents, “Don’t you have a wife, Mrs. Romanoff?” it was your turn to ask her.  

Natasha hummed, “It’s not really a secret to the world that I have a wife so yes, I indeed have a wife.” 

You don’t know where your courage came from but you asked her, “Do you love her?” 

There was a brief pause, “Of course I do.” she replied with a smile.

You sensed it, you sensed her hesitation but you just went with the flow and smiled at her, “That’s good to hear.”  

After that day, she started to call you those nicknames, “Detka” was the first one you heard her call you, then as the days went by, the other endearments followed.  

You didn’t hate it when she called you those nicknames, quite the opposite, you liked it when she called you those nicknames but you somehow feel like there’s something to those nicknames.

~~~

“Natasha, so good to see you again.” Tony Stark greeted as he entered the meeting room. 

“Likewise Tony.” Natasha simply replied then Tony took his seat across Natasha and you. 

“Good afternoon, Romanoff, L/N.” Steve greeted as he took his seat across from you and Natasha.

“Good afternoon to you too Steve.” Natasha greeted back.

“Who’s this new chick? And how come Rogers already met her.” Tony suddenly asked as he looked at you.  

“This is Y/N, she’s my new assistant. Rogers has already met her since she was in our last meeting.” Natasha replied.

“So, are you single?” Tony asked, then he wiggled his eyebrows at you making you a bit annoyed by his behavior.

“Tony!” Natasha scolded, “No funny business, she’s off limits.” she continued. 

Her sudden possessiveness sort of turned you on, even though you knew that she did it only to protect you.

Natasha cleared her throat and said, “Let’s just proceed with the meeting, I still have a lot of things to do.”

As the meeting went on, you felt that Natasha’s hand went to your thigh, but from time to time she would move her hand almost as if she’s caressing your thigh and it made you a flustering mess. 

The meeting was over and you were now back in your boss’ office. 

“I’m sorry about Tony earlier, he’s just like that sometimes.” Natasha said as she was signing some papers. 

“It’s fine Mrs. Romanoff, I’m already used to it.” You replied as you continued to staple and gather some documents that the administration asked for as well. 

Natasha smiled and said, “I told you that you can call me Natasha when we’re alone, detka.” she then looked at you as you fixed the stacks of papers across from her. You always looked so gorgeous in her eyes when you would concentrate on working. 

“Right, I’m sorry, it has just been a habit of mine.” You said to her apologetically, continuing to look at your work. But once you were done fixing the papers, you looked at the woman across from you, your eyes already met hers, you then realized that she was already looking at you. 

Your eyes flickered to her lips but immediately went back to her eyes realizing what you just did, you saw her smirk a little it made your cheeks heat up, “A-are you done with signing the papers, Mrs- I mean- Natasha?” You stammered. 

“Yes.” She simply replied as she slipped the papers towards you not breaking eye contact with you.

“Thank you, I’ll be giving these to the administration now.” You said and then started walking out of her office. 

As you were about to open the door, the door suddenly opened and you saw Wanda, your boss’ wife, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Maximoff.” You greeted her with a fake smile, because everytime Wanda visited the office it just made you feel on edge. 

“Honey, what are you doing here?” you heard Natasha ask as she stood up from her seat.

“Why? Can���t I visit my lovely wife?” Wanda teased as she approached Natasha and kissed her on the lips. A bit of disgust and jealousy started setting in within you. You immediately left the office without saying another word.

[jyndor]

been on this site since 2010 in one way or another and I have seen first hand the fucking expulsion of Black people and other people of color from tumblr due to the vile racist harassment they have always gotten from white people and their big followings. people wonder where so much of the large Black tumblr community went and freaks will claim that that was all just russian psyop noise.

and while I am sure there were SOME bots and psyops, my feeling is that a lot of white liberals tell themselves that the whitening and global northening of this website - which has always had a vibrant and diverse user base - over the past several years is not the work of massive amounts of racist harassment and the failure of white moderates to do anything but the usual reflexive hand wringing over semantics and tone and respectability politics, no of course not, it's that the more radical Black bloggers were mostly just russian psyops or their useful idiots, and... I guess so many of the Black fandom bloggers and aesthetic bloggers etc, they just magically decided they didn't have any interest in this site anymore right?

and indigenous bloggers, I've seen them run off here too. and of course I've seen Latine mutuals disappear, and yeah they all must have just randomly decided they'd had enough of tumblr, or they were also psyops and weren't even real people at all.

and now during a GENOCIDE I've seen palestinian bloggers, both IN PALESTINE and the diaspora, harassed into silence. I've seen them get bombarded with the most cruel harassment I have ever seen on this website, and then again the hand wringing of white moderates. and the genocide denial: the orientalist and racist smears and hack jobs and propaganda campaigns, the apologia and obfuscation and when their backs are to the wall, the mask slipping and revealing the enraged colonial vengeance from fascists that defies belief.

palestinians are doing extensive work to vet gofundmes and fundraisers, and they have been for months now. and since I follow palestinians on here I've been aware of their processes for months. and so I've donated and shared them on here, and I've seen gofundme shut very legitimate fundraisers down for whatever bullshit reason, I've seen palestinians IN GAZA have to find a way to reach out to me, just some random us american woman, on fucking tumblr and write in a language that isn't their first and apologize for bothering ME with their fundraiser that they have to have because THEY ARE TRYING TO ESCAPE THE GENOCIDE MY COUNTRY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR.

and you're telling me that some fucking white liberal allies~ are so concerned about the possibility that these palestinians and the palestinian bloggers who have spent countless hours working to get them to safety might be some sort of scam ring??? and then when the palestinian bloggers explain once again to these ~well meaning big blogs~ how they work, and what cultural/language cues these big bloggers are missing because clearly they have no cultural competency and have never met a palestinian ever (or if they have they have never been a safe person for a palestinian to speak freely around) they hem and haw and bring out the fucking "I was just so worried that well meaning people might be tricked into wasting $5 on a tumblr checkmark I mean tumblr premium I mean a billboard for some racist gay slaver pirate show wow how does that keep happening my fingers keep slipping I MEAN on a fundraiser for a family trying to escape genocide, and I would totally love to donate too! (but I haven't and I won't)."

but the damage was done - at least one palestinian blogger WHO BTW LITERALLY IS A SURVIVOR OF THIS GENOCIDE was harassed so much that he might not ever come back to tumblr, but he definitely won't ever be doing the work to vet fundraisers again, something that has a material impact on the ground - but these big bloggers recommend donating to ngos like the red cross which ??? literally palestinians and other peoples in the global south fyi have long asked people not to support over either mutual aid (in the case of gaza atm bc it is hard for aid to even get to aid workers since you know, israel fucking bombed the rafah crossing) or local organizations that are recommended by COMMUNITIES THEMSELVES, NOT BY TUMBLR USER @PATRONIZINGWHITE (that is not a real user fyi).

if I am to believe that the exodus of Black tumblr users from this site was mostly a purging of russian bots and shit, then I could believe that this was a deliberate targeting of palestinian bloggers saving actual people from an actual genocide.

but what I'm inclined to believe is that actually white people have been spoon fed so much anti-palestinian and anti-arab racism, so much orientalist paternalism and colonial white man's burden horseshit, that it was second-nature to assume that palestinians aren't actually thoughtful enough to properly vet people trying to raise tens of thousands of dollars from strangers on the internet. and that's assuming that these white tumblr users aren't more than a bit sympathetic to israel. sike they really do just hate palestinians.

rarely ever, throughout all these years, have I experienced any harassment myself. and it isn't like I don't have a moderately sized following myself, and that I haven't for a long time.

you'll notice a lot of white western bloggers are still here and have been for years. they'll complain about censorship of fanfiction.net and porn blogs and how important ao3 is to protect of queer people like me, and im not even entirely unsympathetic because again i have been here for a long time, but it's crickets when people of color on tumblr have clearly been silenced over the years.

shameful. if something had happened to any of the people with the gfms because their donations slowed down, to me that's collaboration.

here is @/el-shab-hussein's post about this situation. please read it and if you are someone who reblogged something about scam gfms or any sort of support for the misinformation campaign that these racists perpetrated about literal genocide victims, you need to do damage control on that. delete the posts, block the ops and explain the situation to your own followers.

it's inexcusable. and all in the name of preventing the spread of misinformation.

vetted Google doc: please go through it and understand that of course there is a marginal risk, it is MARGINAL.

[sunwarmed-ash]

Fic tag game!

tagged by my buddies @cuillere and @lizzy0305! thank you for this!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

93 😎

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,467 (holy fucking shit when did it get that long?!?!?! #ThatsWhatSheSaid

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Detroit become human, the breakfast club, marvel/spiderverses, Ted lasso, House MD, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tony Stark: Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Daddy: (starker) 1074

I think I need help: (harringrove) 927

Call me Doctor: (Chase/House & Chase/House/Wilson 739

Rockabye Baby: (Wincest kinda??) 670

You know what they say about assuming. (steddiegrove) 645

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every. Single. One. Comments are the lifeblood to my work. Its so intimidating to be posting to a empty void but y'alls comments give life to the achieve and are just as important to a WIPs development as anything I write on my own!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk, I have ALOT of wips without endings/one shots. Probs the most angsty one I have in general is either The New Kid or Silence isn't Golden

wait wait wait, I found a dual suicide Wincest fic, that wins

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh this Thor/Bruce fic may be the fluffiest one I have haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HA! yeah, but oddly its just the ones with sex work in them. Who would have guessed 🙄🙄🙄🙄

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes 😈😈😈 kink wise all over the place, from super vanilla to BDSM and anything else I can think of. Peoplewise LGBTQ and queer characters, canon or fanon, polycules. Trope wise, enemies to lovers is my fav, but I also love pining or tragic love 👌

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes!! not too many, but I've written a few. This one isn't crazy but it is the most developed of all the wips. It's a Supernatural/The Breakfast Club crossover called Supernatural activity at shermer high

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

a few times by a bot, im really really hoping it doesn't happen again but with AI about to fuck us all out of work, im a lil worried.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! two of my Starker fics were translated into Russian and on fic book but that website got torched a few years ago :( I think I also had a reader translate a TBC fic into Portuguese

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Many! probably 20-30 at this point

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

not possible for me to choose. So here's my favs of the moment. Hankconvin800 or hankvin1700, steddiegrove, parksborn, steadyhands

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

get a few scotches in him and he'll hit on anything in a 5 mile radius.

its a cowritten work I worked on years ago and just, meh idk I dont really wanna go back to it haha

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten compliments on my dialogue, dynamic character relationships, smut, and angst

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

proof reading and editing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i never trust google translate to do a good enough job so to avoid looking like a fool i dont do it. I should try though, expand my horizons. I'm learning Danish so maybe ill make a fic using that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

all of them hold significant places in my heart. they are all pieces of me and I'm trying to learn to love all of me. And that's gotta start somewhere!

tagging all my mututals and anyone who wants to do it

@sweeteatercat @disdaidal @sweetasblack @writerwhowritesao3 @geekinglikeaboss @destroya-hargrove @kissoflightning @moviemuncherao3 @cuillere @late-to-the-party-81 @spaceofentropy @strangebrainrot @treeffles @heiko-goes-detroit

[bleedingcoffee42]

Yep, both is good.

But for sure you can't not have feelings about him, because he really is fascinating and very human (his tvpersona and the real guy).

For me he was like an onion. I didn't expect to like him at the beginning (another typical sociopath soldier bot) but then I realized it was a layer he put on himself and it hepled him to do his job and there were more layers and the dude was complexed as hell. Plus as I love the bigass events (Foy, finding that surgeon) but what always got me, were the lil things, like sending Shifty home, holding Chuck's hand or staying for the boys in the army to the end. Or trying and failing to steal Perconte's lighter. Honey....

Lol, Easy was like, ok we thought he was the toughest sonofabitch in the army, in reality he is but also is a weirdo with questionable hobbies and poor social skills, so let's play along to keep his mighty reputation. And then someone says something bad about him and the company is after that folk's blood, because, as you said, he was their Captain (ok, that's may be my headcanon).

Matheson sounds like a dude who would not fit in modern times. While Sparky probably would thrive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I'm amazed how well they created him in the show with such small screentime. A big cheer for Matt too, because HOT DAMN, the role of his life.

He is!! And I'm just impressed as hell with the fact he never really said anything to correct any of the information, just rolled with it. Yet he's outraged when two lines are inaccurate about his ex-wife. Even with info from some family and records, interviews, I see so much conflicting info. And going through the BoB boxes I have seen so much gossip about guys they actually like, makes you wonder how much things spiraled with someone who was a ghost story.

I do like that most of the guys who were present for stuff are on the "I'm not giving details, but he did it, but he was still an amazing CO and that's that." It threw Ambrose for a loop because he didn't get how you could have both. Lol.

Matheson's comments were so definitive and weird. 'His problem was WOMEN.' okay? Elaborate. 'he's been married four times'. That's it? That's your problem? It means is it weird he kept tabs on him after the war? I know he ran into/away from him when he spotted him in DC in the 60's. (it's early I hope I'm not getting him mixed up w/someone else.)

I also like how he transitions from writing his full name to 'Sparky' in letters to Dick as their pen pal relationship spirals into 'Dick, you're a pain in the ass'. He's got a nickname for the guy they knew, and uses it. Even to the point of telling them to leave him out of the BoB stuff because they just are going to find someone to play 'Sparky'. Not Ron, who is holding his 'World's best Grandpa' mug and throwing the letter in the mailbox before hanging out with his grandkids.

IDK, a lot of the focus over the years has been 'OMG did he really kill those people' and not 'Sparky, what level of intelligence were you involved in when you were with Battalion?'. You don't just pick some random officer to serve at Spandlau prison. Even if he took language courses to apply for the job. Not when you're hoping he can get some info out of the Russians too. His Hospital admission cards are [Blank] in Fold3, unsearchable by name. Service number on other records not what is on the copies of Docs from the National Archives on the Speirs website. Only that number will land you on his WW2 Hospital cards. Not to throw out conspiracies, but WTF.

[pnchingwalls101]

Hey guys. If ya’ll are looking for some original characters to mess around with I have tons. I use character ai to mostly test characters that I am thinking of using for my writings. It’s actually kinda cool. I like it so far. I do have two characters from media though. I have Alcide from True Blood and I have Bankotsu from InuYasha.

Most of my characters are OCs and I leave the introductions as a way to set the scene; so they are open for a ton of options for you to play around with.

I have a Roman Gladiator that is the bastard son of the Emperor who has been disgraced and is now working to clear his name. It’s open for you to whether you’re an old love, a child friend, the one who disgraced him, etc. Did he get framed for murder? Was it a plot to get close to the Emperor? You guys have control.

There’s a Sci-fi ex-military Space Captain who is not always a rule follower. Are you a passenger? A crew member? A prisoner? What is he smuggling? Is there an illness on board? An alien? (Aka Heathen works really well with the Ship AI bot.)

Asher, aka Saint, is an Outlaw Biker in a small town. His parents up and left him and his brothers who are still in middle school.

Colton is a single father that owns a ranch in a small town. (I tried a group chat with him and Asher- where I was Colton’s daughter and dating Asher it was fun)

Reika’s father is King Lycaon, the Ancient Greek King from mythology who was cursed by Zeus to turn into a wolf. The first werewolf. Are the rumours true? Are you Reika’s secret lover? Sibling? Friend? Are you there to help her family or ruin it?

Nikolai is a member of the Russian Mafia in Vegas. His family owns the casino, and he is an enforcer. Watch out- he’s possessive and a bit of a play boy.

Calvin is an undercover cop who is investigating the very same prestigious college he used to go to. There are rumours of secret societies, ghosts, witches. How would you fit in? Are you helping him? Or are you there to stop him?

Mikhael is in a medieval fantasy. He is a mercenary. His a sword fighter and a battlemage. Do you have a job? Are an enemy? Someone who works with him?

Ya’ll have complete control to shape the stories yourselves.

Have fun~

Edit 1:

Kiera is an African-American Marine Biologist fresh out of college. She is easy going, a surfer, and smart woman. She has a mother and an older brother. Her specialty in the field are sharks and whales. She is just heading out for a two month expedition. Join her on this expedition. Are you a stowaway on board? Crew member? Another scientist? The Captain? A friend or a rival?

[rafasbiscuits]

Thank you so much for the tag @bluskype (and I think @tam-is-blogging tagged me w this waaayyyy back I hv v bad memory so yeah, thank you so muchh!!)

Nickname: qas, cassie and q

Sign: Libra

Height: 160 cm...uh in ft is probably 5'1?

Last thing I googled: mangago (I was reading a manhwa)

Song stuck in my head: Fire on Fire by Sam Smith

Numbers of followers: 100+(the exact number is 117 but there are alot of porn bots)

Amount of sleep: 0-24 hours. My sleep schedule is ruined ever since I started high school.

Lucky numbers: I don't believe in lucky numbers but I do have a fav number which is 9

Dream job: nurse/tennis player

Wearing: a purple Nike shirt with black shorts

Movies/books that summarise me: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, Looking for Alaska by John Green and I'm just dropping my fav book of all time(read it guys it's the best) 1984 by George Orwell

Favourite songs: it's impossible to list it all I listen to all kind of genres and have favourites from all kinds of languages so it's just impossible.

Favourite instrument: bass guitar, cello and violin(violin isn't my fav but I used to play it, it's the only instrument ik how to so yeaa)

Aesthetic: idk really..but probably something neutral and warm ish, dark nature, cryptidcore(buzzfeed nerd here)

Favourite author(s): I'm a sci fi and russian literature geek. So, George Orwell, Arthur C Clarke, Michael Crichton, Cassandra Clare( the whole Shadowhunters books are my comfort books) Carl Sagan, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Leo Tolstoy, Mikhail Lermontov( I only read one of his books but it's my fav russian literature book, A Hero Of Our Time), and ao3 authors

Currently reading: A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara and Contact by Carl Sagan.

Fav colours: dark green, silver, gold and black

Fav animal noise: birds chirping and whistling, it's therapeutic and the cicadas when it's like in a forest area

Last song: Dress by Taylor Swift

Last Movie: Shutter Island

Last Series: uh oh shit, I think Break Point💀

Random: I just want to make use of this moment to say that I won't be much active on posting(blogging in Tumblr terms) anymore. I mean I will still do it, I'll still reblog and blog but not as much as before. I'm focusing on my exams, my O Levels for the end of the year. Though I will be active during the Slams, I think. So yeah, I'll still be around guys and I'll still be here and there reblogging and liking posts just not as much as before ;))

Tagging: uhhh idk @sebandlewis @game-set-canet @soronya @rackets-and-fuel @mercigoku69 @nadalstappen @a-swiss-and-a-spaniard @daltonkeys and tagging anyone who wants to do this <33 (if you guys want to ofc, and if you guys alr did it then please ignore the tag💀)

[clormstroke]

Alright, let's see

you know the definition of "disinformation" is "false information" right, not just "anything a right-winger/russian/Chinese person said," right?

i am aware

the claim that this talking point was initiated by "Russian bots"- a claim I do not find credible whatsoever, the evidence presented is extremely flimsy

I don't think the claim is flimsy, and I find the evidence compelling, given how it matches known bot patterns

it could still be true that the usa is neglecting Hawaii in favor of warfare

it could be true, and it would be an extremely stupid thing to do. the usa should not be neglecting hawaii in favour of warfare.

note that you have not bothered to actually address the substance of the claim At All

that is because i actually agree with your core point, where focusing on the military while neglecting disasters is a stupid thing to do. my point was that while what you're saying isn't wrong, the person you're showcasing as having that viewpoint wasn't posting the article linked to somehow prove that we should spend more money on the military, but was instead showcasing what she discovered, which is a misinformation campaign, because her job is literally "disinformation researcher"

everything after this you've said matches with my own viewpoints, and i did not post what i did to discredit your talking points.

[liberal voice]: the idea that you should care about the indigenous people being neglected in hawaii is just a right-wing narrative! the true, progressive, left-wing narrative is that we must increase military funding to defeat the nefarious threat of red china

[dianight]

About tumblr dying and such

Really? How does collective opinion change like that.

"If ~10% of users pay a subscription this site survives".

Then die.

The site that constantly flags trans women's bodies as explicit (as of today, 13 hours ago).

The site where a selfie or a tummy picture gets flagged (only if it's a trans woman though).

The site that got sued for discriminatory moderation.

The site that bans """"porn"""" while shoving streams with horny content on them (not that I'd seen them myself, since they are not even legal where I live).

The site that banned a bunch of "russian trolls", or rather, black bloggers that where a bit too loud.

---

"Websites can't operate without monetization". They can. You lack imagination and drive. They lack funds.

"Websites can't show porn in 2023". They can. You lack imagination and guts, but you make up for it with usamerican morals where porn is evil therefore it's not worth defending.

"Moderation is hard". It is. It's also their job. I'm not getting paid to report bots and bigots yet I do it.

"You wouldn't survive other social media". You wouldn't survive my jaws.

---

All of that arguments that I've seen since the leak. People showing once again a lack of principles when slight inconveniences present themselves.

I too would prefer if tumblr just did nothing at all beyond the bare minimum. But not if it meant another company asking for just a few euros/dollars a month and trying to shame users when they say: "No. How about nondiscrimantory moderation, stop banning sex workers, stop banning trans women asking for donations, stop pushing updates that the users overwhelmingly dislike (too late for this one, tehepero), stop pushing ads that support genocide".

Like come on. I know what running a skeleton crew is. Just do the bare minimum, maybe try to do actual good things that users ask for and then you get to beg for money (<- they will die before this point That is not how websites operate in current year).

[eyrieofsynapses]

So, in between the absolute and utter chaos of This Is The Real Life, I’ve been sitting down to rewatch Leverage here and there, for the sake of preserving my sanity, and I did The 15 Minute Job a few days and noticed something.

Here’s the thing: this is the third (and last) time I can recall Nate telling Eliot to walk away from the job. (Well, kind of.)

Nate: All right. We can still make this work.

Eliot: I don't know why I'm sitting here listening to a new plan.

Parker: Well, the first one's not going all that well.

Sophie: This playing-with-fame thing, it's reckless.

Eliot: You're not controlling the mark. All right, we're operating without a net. Somebody's gonna get hurt.

Nate: Eliot, why don't you just take the rest of the job off?

(Eliot gives Nate a long look before pushing back his chair and leaves the table. Parker does the same)

Sophie: Consciously or not, I think you look at Reed Rockwell and see everything you hate about Nathan –

Nate: Any way I can get you to not finish that thought?

Sophie: Every time something goes wrong, you push harder, and now you're pushing to ruin Rockwell so hard, you're going to end up ruining yourself. Maybe that's what you're trying to do.

(I’m keeping Sophie’s bit in for a reason, by the way. We’ll get to that in a minute.)

Now, this is the fourth season. It’s more than a bit out of the ordinary at this point, actually, because for the most part Eliot and Nate rarely conflict anymore. But it follows an old pattern: Nate goes over the edge, Eliot calls him on it, Nate gets annoyed and tells him to back off.

There’s two other instances of this that I can remember: The Snow Job (waaaaaaaaay back at the start) and The Maltese Falcon Job (you know, where it all went to hell). Admittedly the latter is less “walk off the job” and more “seriously insult,” but either way, both times it’s Eliot calling Nate on his bullshit—

Nate: Guys, you got to trust me, all right? You've trusted me before, and with your life.

Eliot (slams his hand down on the table): Not when you're drunk.

Nate: Oh, come on.

Eliot: You're not in control of yourself.

Nate: So, what, you're gonna control me? Is that it?

Eliot: Ah, I ain't your daddy. You can drink yourself into a coma as far as I’m concerned, but you take me down with you -- then it's my problem.

Nate: You know, you talk too much. You ought to just go skip some rope.

Eliot: What? What? (gets up angrily)

Nate: Skip some rope.

Eliot: You want me to skip something? (heads across the room)

Sophie: Hey, hey! (gets in front of Eliot)

Eliot: I'll skip your drunk ass off this marble floor.

Sophie: Okay, I need to speak to Nate alone. For a second.

Eliot (turning away): Yeah, do that.

(Eliot leaves, followed by Hardison and Parker, who lingers to give Sophie a meaningful look. Sophie sits on the arm of the couch)

Nate: Now, don't you dare give me the "we're all a family" speech.

Sophie: Mnh-Mnh. No speeches. Just a question. Is this helping you? Hmm? If you give Wayne Scott back what he lost, will you be satisfied?

Nate: You know me. I can do this.

Sophie: I knew you two years ago.

Nate: Well, I’m still the same person.

Sophie: No. You're not.

Nate: No, I’m not.

— in Snow Job, and—

Nate: Don't worry about Sterling.

Eliot: Did you just say, "Don't worry about Sterling?"

Nate: Yeah, don't worry about Sterling. What you don't think I can beat Sterling?

Eliot: I think in the last six months, Nate, I've heard you talk about beating the Triads, beating the Russians. All right? Maggie's boyfriend. Huh? How'd that work out? We all said that meet was a bad idea, right? But you got a taste for taking down this Mayor and you can't resist.

Nate: You wanna walk away? Walk away.

Eliot: I'm not walkin' away. It's not my job. My job is to get your back. And, Nate, I'm gonna do it. All the way down. But I need you to do your job.

Nate: And what's that?

Parker: Be Nathan Ford. Be the person we came back for.

…in Maltese Falcon. 

Intriguingly, Eliot does walk away—for a bit—in both Snow and 15 Minute. But he comes back both times. And you know what? Kudos to him for walking away, because that’s exactly what he needed to do. Snow obviously wouldn’t have ended well, and 15 Minute was just waiting to blow up. He demonstrates healthy anger management beautifully: walk away, cool off, and then come back to the problem later with a clear head.

Also, based on the conversation in Maltese, I suspect that Nate knows full well he won’t walk away in 15 Minute too. I’m guessing that’s more an “I’m done with you pushing me” warning instead.

Notice something else about those times, though?

Sophie.

Both times, Sophie doesn’t interrupt or try to add on to Eliot’s piece, and then, when he leaves, proceeds to metaphorically grab Nate’s ear and ask him about the thing that’s putting the job at risk… and, incidentally, the thing Eliot’s worried about. Because every time, every single time, he’s hit exactly the right mark. If anything, that’s why Nate gets angry. He knows Eliot’s right; he just doesn’t want to believe it.

Thing is, Eliot’s wake-up calls are a bucket of ice water, whereas Sophie’s approach is, well, hers. She’s more artful about it, and she knows how to dance circles around Nate. There’s also their respective dynamics. Nate respects Eliot (…most of the time), but, because it’s Nate, he tends to take those wake-up calls as a challenge rather than a warning. (…something something Nate’s problems with toxic masculinity and refusing to back down, probably.) But he’s a whole lot less likely to do that with Sophie, perhaps partly because he knows she’ll probably just use it as ammo if he does.

This is, in a way, pushing at Nate on two fronts: Eliot’s upfront and blunt warnings, and Sophie’s gentler pushing. Eliot cracks down, Nate gets the hard “I’m doing something wrong but I really don’t want to admit it” moment, and then Sophie snares him and forces him to keep staring that wrongness in the face. Does Eliot intend to give her that opening? Probably not (certainly not in Snow, and, for obvious reasons, not in Maltese). But she’s able to take advantage of it pretty well.

Intriguingly, we get a swapped version of this in The Last Dam Job, when Sophie tries to get Nate to listen about killing Dubenich and winds up calling on Eliot to talk him down instead. Her softer approach won’t work in that situation, so she needs Eliot’s ice-bucket instead, because this time it’s the only thing that might get Nate to wake up. But her initial approach softens him up for Eliot. It’s easier for Nate to hear him out when he’s already had that seed of doubt planted in his mind, and Eliot takes a gentler approach that time around.

Also worthy of note: in both Snow and 15 Minute, while Nate goes on, he does seem to listen to both of them. He backs off a bit. Not much, but he does. It’s unvoiced, but they do shift his perspective.

And in Maltese Falcon, when Eliot puts his foot down and says I will not walk away, Nate listens to him then, too. However, that time, Sophie isn’t there to push at Nate—and while he cools off a little, he doesn’t have her to push that point all the way home… and the crew winds up nearly getting themselves killed until she steps in. Tara says that Sophie had the plan built in because she knew the trio would follow him “all the way down,” as Eliot puts it.

This is, I think, partly because Eliot knows he cannot walk away. If he does, someone’s going to get hurt. So even when he thinks it’s at the worst point, even when he’s sure that it’s going to end badly… he stays. Because he knows it’ll end way worse if he’s not there.

Except Nate knows that. Which means that he will keep going, if he’s being really blind and stubborn about it, and so Sophie is essential to pulling him back too.

Anyway. It’s a good demonstration of how both Sophie and Eliot wind up pulling on Nate in their respective ways, and how they’re both essential to keeping him from getting the crew killed. They’ve both got a lot of influence on Nate in ways Parker and Hardison don’t. Eliot’s seen stuff, and if he says something’s too dangerous, it’s too dangerous. Not that Nate always listens, and they do pull through. But whenever Eliot puts his foot down, it’s really important to listen, because he knows exactly what he’s talking about.

Trouble is, Nate’s a reckless jackass—who, moreover, really likes a challenge, and really hates losing, and thus has precisely zero idea when to back the hell off. Sophie’s important for any number of reasons. But one of the big ones is getting him to listen when Eliot says “this isn’t right.”

So… yeah. They’re counterweights, basically. (And definitely the only reason why the crew is still alive.)

[madlori]

Things SWAT has made plot points out of that surprised me:

The fact that Russian bot farms insert propaganda into the Internet to rile up white supremacists

The LAPD's physical requirements to make SWAT are arbitrarily designed so as to disadvantage women in a way that does not reflect actual performance on the job

Trotting out black cops as a face of diversity without doing any work to combat racism is gross

A white, well-respected cop finding racist attitudes among other white cops and recording/reporting them - and the fallout from that action, which included Hondo being demoted and Deacon coming to terms with why he kept wanting to wash his hands of the whole thing

Young black men having to jump through endless hoops to prove they're not thugs

The police aren't necessarily the best first responders in all situations, and the creation of a team of volunteers to respond to mental health or social work calls first

One member of the team struggling with honoring his dead grandfather after learning the man had racist views

That a prison is being used as a slave labor facility and the conditions there precipitated a riot the team has to deal with

that's just off the top of my head.

tell me you don't watch swat without telling me you don't watch swat

you're a 911 fan that think that the show is all about copganda (hello, have you watched 911?)

because in reality, it's one of the most cop critical shows on television, if not the most. almost every episode is rife with an acknowledgement of what is wrong with the system, how incredibly screwed up it is internally and externally, and has incredibly nuanced characters that function in that system and yet still continuously try to make it better at an individual level and a system level

both the mains and the supporting characters live in this space of recognizing that the system needs a lot of work, and even those who support their loved ones are still so incredibly critical by it

case in point: the main character hondo is a black lapd sargeant swat officer from oakland put in the team lead position in the wake of BLM for political optics that everyone knows and does not love. and his father? was a black panther. and their relationship is one of the best, most beautifully written tv i've seen in a long time

not to mention they have a proper locker room that has proper walls

all this to say: i get not wanting to watch the show, but to not watch the show and say "it's COPGANDA" without actually knowing what it's TRULY about? just false, especially if your point of comparison is 911, which has more copganda in one season than swat's entire series combined

[kingofthewilderwest]

I feel like Tumblr also feels like a ghost town because of the NSFW ban, and how we found out that certain parties were using the site to further nefarious schemes. It means that it's harder to trust new people because they could be lying about their fandom love as part of a factory job.

Both of these are counterable, and I use this as an encouragement for folks thinking of being active to make tumblr a more social place - reblog with added comments, have public blog conversations, talk to people, etc. My response isn't going to be directed specifically at you, but for all peeps coming into this conversation. And I realize we were also talking about events outside us, but I want to bring this in to what “We can do.”

"Ghost town" to me always feels like the Brother Bear meme. "Sometimes I can still hear his voice." ;)

What you're saying works from an analytical factual standpoint, because that was a cultural turning point of tumblr. "People left" is a description of one reason we saw tumblr become less social. And seeing deactivated blogs is a thing.

But it doesn't work from when trying to explain why you (universal "you") aren't talking now. The onus of maintaining tumblr social culture isn't on others who've left; it's on us who've stayed. We, the people using this website, direct what this website's culture is.

That many people left tumblr for the nsfw ban, while true, minimizes the fact others are still here. Ghost towns don't have dashes full of new posts. I know all of us go on tumblr and see active bloggers - otherwise, what content are we consuming? ;) And as long as there are humans we are following and reblogging, then we have the possibility to talk to them.

We're walking around, a bunch of living people, on a platform that is alive, keeping it alive by our being there, where each of our many posts is a throbbing pulse and our reblogs reach the limits of the circulatory system, but saying, "We're dead." And that's hilariously backwards. I can either look at a slightly wilted plant and water it and foster it to blossoms, or I can quit watering it and kill it. But whether the plant lives or dies is on me. And folks need to quit watching, blaming others for inactivity when you're the people on tumblr, and start doing.

I am not going to cover the administration's financial situation. I am just talking about USER CULTURE.

A community can be extremely vibrant whether it's 300 people, 3,000 people, or 3,000,000 people. Some of the best discord servers I've been in have 6 people and some of the least vibrant servers I've been in have 600. Some of the best social media groups or platforms I've been on have been smaller. Whether or not there is a smaller userbase on tumblr now than in the past does not need to dictate whether or not we choose to talk to someone.

2. Learning about things like Russian tumblr bots is going to be a fact of life wherever you are. Tumblr isn't special. This has to be a thing people need to grow to handle. Learning how to balance the duality of trust and sometimes-'betrayal' will be infused in every fiber of every society. There will always be a faker, whether it's the falsely happy coworker telling lies for clout, the companies that pretend they support a social issue for sales, or the internet blogger pretending to be 16.

Loss of trust sucks, and it can be hard to work through, but living by a generalized distrustful mindset where everyone is now out to get you is going to make things psychologically worse and less fulfilling. In the end, the way to combat a disappointment is by finding meaningful, supportive relationships again. And you can't do that by hiding from everyone. Health often comes with community, not isolation.

Of course of course of course, internet safety, but folks were hopefully acting by internet safety before anything was revealed about Tumblr Blog X, Y, or Z. Internet safety is a constant, just like there's public irl safety. I think that someone should always be operating on websites with a grain of doubt for who you're talking to - anything else is letting the guard down too much, exactly because they're strangers. Doesn't mean there aren't awesome ways to socialize with genuine humans. I can still have fun talking to strangers, irl or url. Just don't expect them to be incapable of wrong.

For something like learning a blog making political posts had a bad angle? I mean, this is just my view, but tumblr is Horrrrrrrrrible for accuracy and intent on political, social, religious, etc. information. This isn't the best site to believe what we read, anyway. Like, just keep the doubt up and the fact checking on, is what I encourage.

Socialization is always a learning and growing process. But no one grows if no one's socializing.

Besides, it's going to be easier to figure out if the blogger is a real person when you chat with them on a day-to-day informal basis, rather than keep 'em at an arm's distance ;)

"Don't make the same mistakes twice" (like trusting blogs with certain political content without careful triangulation) is different than "don't try again" (talking to someone for recreation).

----

I 100% encourage people to reblog posts with comments to create a sense of social culture on this website again. Your points are about factors of the past, which are facts. I agree with you there. These happened and contributed to tumblr’s changes, yes, totally, good points. But if we're going to talk about reasons for personal inactivity, it's always on the person to be active. It's by doing things in the present, rather than dwelling on pasts, that something changes.

[fefipranon]

Rivamika Fic Preview

Topic: Mikasa, a hardcore feminist, kidnapped by Levi, the leader of one of the most powerful gangs and who is the book definition of a dick.

Mikasa Point of View (P.O.V.)

Here I am, another restless night. Turning on my bed like a hamburger patty being flipped on a grill, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. I can hear birds chirping outside so it's probably already morning but my thick light-blocking curtains make my room look as dark as night. Whoever invented those, has a special place in my lazy heart.

I started hearing shuffling sounds outside the door of my room. These two have no sense of self-preservation, I thought. My two roommates, Eren and Armin, have been living with me for a year now. I met them ten years ago, starting my teenage years, a tragic event brought us together. Since 'that event', Eren's parents took me in as their own and he introduced me to Armin, his best friend since childhood.

We are inseparable, even now as adults. Even though Armin works as an accountant for a law firm, I work as a Computer Engineer for the CIA, and Eren works as a veterinarian, when we are together, we still act like silly kids. I love them like siblings love each other, which means that we also fight like siblings, and right now they are breaking a golden rule.

You see, I love them. I would give my life without a second thought for them, but, there is something I love more: my bed. I can be a charming and decent person, AFTER my morning coffee, and AFTER I wake up on my own. If anyone dares to wake me up from my precious sleep, there will be hell to pay. I am not a morning person, who is it really? Those who said they are, are not to be trusted, they are probably psychopaths and serial killers. I also don't trust people that don't like cheese, how could you not like cheese?! They are probably part of those reptilian people that conspiracy theories warn you about from alien abductions and shit.

I heard Armin's voice, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I walked to the door to better listen to their conversation.

"She promised to join us for our traditional 'Sunday pancakes' today since she has failed to wake up early for the last four Sundays in a row! It's her fault!", Eren said.

"You know she is not a morning person! She will kill both of us!", Armin said.

I saw the bolt of the door shaking. Eren was clearly picking the lock from my room. He really has a death wish. I stared around my room looking for ideas on how to greet him, and my eyes landed on my hamper which was almost full of my dirty clothes. I walked to it and grabbed two dirty socks and rolled them together in a ball.

"You can still run away and save yourself.", Eren said.

"I will just stay out of her room, and watch how she kills you while eating popcorn then."

No Armin, you are going to get it too since you are not stopping him, I thought. Then, I heard the beep sound from the microwave. He really made popcorn, unbelievable. I rested my back against the wall next to my door, waiting for their intrusion.

"Do you even know how to pick a lock?", Armin asked.

"I've seen it in movies, they open everything with bobby pins on those spy movies so, how hard can it be?", Eren said.

I pinched the bridge of my nose thinking, he can't be serious. But knowing the bastard, he probably was, and I didn't have the patience to wait for him to finally open my door. So I opened it myself.

He looked at me in shock and said, "Mika-"

But I cut him short by shoving to his open mouth the ball of dirty socks. Armin was on the way to the microwave and yelped at the sight of Eren spitting the dirty socks from his mouth and coughing. I gave him a death stare and yelled:

"You are next!"

"Fuck no!", He yelled as he ran to his room with me running behind him.

He got into his room and closed the door before I could get to him.

With a sing-song voice, I said, "Oh, Armiiin, open the door now and I might forgive youuu."

"Bullshit! I will only open the door after you have your morning coffee!"

Suddenly, the smell of popcorn hit my nose making me smile. Armin never got to get his popcorn out of the microwave. He and I have this unhealthy addiction to popcorn for years now. I mean, who doesn't like popcorn? Those are other types of people I don't trust.

I walked to the microwave and took the popcorn out. I grabbed a fan and pointed it directly to the door of his room. I opened the bag and started eating in front of the fan. He will smell it eventually.

"That's a low blow, stinky feet!", Eren said.

"Is that!? Are you eating MY popcorn!!?", Armin shouted.

"Mmm delicious and extra buttery. Thanks for making popcorn for ME, you are so considerate. You shouldn't have-", I was cut short by Armin slamming his door open and running towards me.

I started running away but he tackled me, making me drop the bag causing the popcorn to fly out, "Give me back my popcorn you thief!", he shouted.

"Did you stuck your socks inside somebody's ass?! This smell is not human!", Eren shouted.

Ignoring Eren, I shouted to Armin, "No! I'll take it as a peace offering apology from you two for waking me up!", while we both struggled to get the bag making a mess of popcorn all around the apartment in the process.

Armin managed to run away while Eren grabbed me and tried to get the dirty socks into my mouth when someone knocked at our door.

We all froze, Armin stared at both of us and asked, "Are any of you expecting someone?"

We both shook our heads in response. I ran to my room to get my gun, Eren did the same while Armin watched the door and grabbed the gun we stored in the kitchen for emergencies.

I immediately started thinking of all the possible threats that could be behind our front door. This is all Eren's fault, I thought.

You see... I was deemed a 'child prodigy' at a young age. I started college at the age of 12, my studies were disrupted for a couple of years when 'that event' happened. Later I resumed my studies and by the age of 18, I already had a bachelor's degree in computer engineering. I joined a couple of hacktivist groups and helped them with the usual stuff: DDoS attacks to government websites, machine learning algorithms to find patterns in social media of government bot accounts, you know, the usual stuff.

One day Eren challenged me to hack into the CIA so I started with a social media scan looking for stupid people that post their work information, I just needed someone with access to the building. In summary, after finding a few victims I did a MITM attack on their phones and computers. From there I got access to the network, installed a backdoor, and had access to everything. I did a similar process to gain access to other intelligence agencies' networks from different countries.

Since we were broke at the time, I did ransomware of the data but instead of money, I asked for a job and immunity for the crime. I also sent them part of a list of vulnerabilities in their system and told them that if they wanted the full list they had to comply with my demands. Since I was already deep in trouble I decided to also give them evidence of the access I gained to other countries' intelligence networks. Not even an hour passed by, and they were already begging me to take the job.

Thinking of who could be behind my front door right now, I thought about the time I got access to the Russian 'Federal Security Service' agency and replaced their data with, well, some 'not-so-innocent' pictures. I think Putin hates me. There is also what I did to the North Korean Reconnaissance General Bureau agency... I think Fluffy Kim hates me too.

None of it would've happened if Eren didn't challenge me in the first place! It's completely his fault!

I got out of my train of thought when we were back at the door and Eren asked us, "Ready?"

We nodded in response, and Eren slowly opened the door.

He quickly pointed the gun at the unexpected visitor who was... An innocent girl scout who was trying to sell cookies.

The kid yelped scared, but Eren quickly hid the gun and said, "Oh, we don't want cookies."

"I want cookies!", I protested and pushed Eren away from the door.

"Order for me too!", Armin said.

Author P.O.V.

After getting their girl scouts cookies, Eren started making pancakes while Armin and Mikasa sat in seat stools behind the small kitchen island facing him. They had popcorn on their messy hair, and on their clothes. "You two better clean the mess you made!", Eren shouted.

"It was Armin's fault!", Mikasa shouted while Armin gave her a death stare.

Eren started to stick his tongue out while making disgusted faces.

"What's the problem Eren? Are you having a stroke?", Mikasa said teasingly.

"For fucks sake Mikasa! I have washed my mouth around five times already and I can still smell your stinky socks! Those things are a hazard!", Eren said while walking away to the bathroom to wash his mouth again.

"The pancakes are going to burn!", Mikasa shouted.

"You take care of them, stinky feet! I am on my way to drink some bleach!", Eren shouted back.

Mikasa rolled her eyes and walked to the stove while Armin stood up to turn on the television. While flipping the pancakes Mikasa took a look at her phone notifications and messages. She started looking through the messages from her girlfriend's group chat:

Sasha: OMG! I just saw the cutest guy ever!

Annie: Did you banged it already? 👉👌🍆

Sasha: I wish! I don't even know how to talk to him yet!

Christa: Where did you saw him?

Sasha: He works at a new bookstore that opened near my apartment.

Christa: Did you tried to talk to him somehow? Or just stared at him like a mentally unstable stalker?

Sasha: Well, I asked for book recommendations, he started asking me about what I liked so he could give me a more accurate one but the dick of his boss cut him off telling him to go back to the cash register.

Annie: Maybe we should meet up for lunch to come up with a plan.

Ymir: I just saw that I have new messages. I tried to read them all but my lazy ass just read 'cute guy' and 'bang it already' and skipped to the end. I am up for lunch and the 'banging plan'. Speaking of people in need of banging, @Mikasa wake your ass and join us!

Annie: 😂😂

Mikasa rolled her eyes and replied:

Mikasa: I am awake, count me in for lunch, and the 'banging plan'.

Christa: Girls, call the police, that is not Mikasa, that's an impostor! There is no way that woman is awake this early!

Mikasa sighed and typed,

Mikasa: Eren woke me up, putting his life on the line.

Suddenly Eren's phone made the sound of a new message notification. Mikasa rolled her eyes and thought, here we go.

Eren grabbed his phone, unlocked it, stared at his messages, and started laughing. "Sasha just asked me if you are okay because you are awake. She wants to know if it's really you before calling the police. She also wants to know if I am still alive."

"Hey guys check this out.", Armin said while turning up the volume of the TV.

The news was on. Mikasa served the pancakes on the plates. She took two of the plates and gave one to Armin while sitting next to him. Eren grabbed his plate and sat next to Mikasa. The three of them were seated on the sofa in front of the TV watching the news.

Breaking News:

'We are reporting live outside of Mitra's bank. Just moments ago, criminals robbed the bank and took three hostages with them. The police are tracking their whereabouts at the moment, avoid the area. The perpetrators' identity has been confirmed as the gang that calls themselves "The Scorpions". They are commonly identified with a Scorpion tattoo on their necks, reach out to the police if you see anyone suspicious.'

"These guys again, they piss me off.", Mikasa said.

"They are the same ones that robbed one of the stores of the mall right?", Armin asked.

"Yes, those assholes take hostages with them but they end up always killing them.", Eren said.

"That's the gang that posts the videos about they killing the hostages like is some sort of sick hunting game?", Armin asked.

"Yes, they take the victim to a secluded wood area and tell the victim to run, after a minute or so they run after the victim to kill it, recording the whole thing.", Eren said.

"That's sick.", Mikasa said.

"That's why they are one of the most feared and powerful gangs around.", Eren said.

"It doesn't make sense, the tattoo I mean, who would be so stupid to get a tattoo that clearly dictates that you are a criminal? Why have the police not caught them yet if they have a fucking mark on their necks screaming I'm the killer?", Mikasa said.

Suddenly Eren's phone made the notification sound again. "Oi, Mikasa, Dad wants to meet with us today for dinner, he is in the area."

"Tell him to pick us up then.", Mikasa replied.

-----

Mikasa P.O.V.

I arrived at the restaurant where the girls planned to meet for lunch. As I was walking from the parking area to the restaurant I felt the unease sensation that someone was following me. I've been feeling this for two weeks now. Even though I have gained many enemies by my hacking 'activities', and I joke about Putin or someone else knocking on my door, the reality is that it's highly unlikely that they know my identity. I didn't use my network, on top of it I used nested VPNs mixed with virtual machines with an eastern VPN added on top. Even though the probability of them knowing my identity is almost zero, my job provided me with an apartment in the most secured area in town plus extra police patrols around the building. But, of course, you can never be too cautious, so I always assumed the worst.

I took my phone out and texted my boss: "Activating precaution protocol."

Almost instantly he replied: "I will be on the lookout."

My boss, Pixis, has been very overprotective of me since I started working for the CIA. Since the first day that I arrived at the office and introduced myself, he personally asked to work with me. He was impressed by the stunt I pulled and introduced me to everyone on his team like I was some sort of Messiah sent by Thor itself from the land of Narnia. But not everyone reacted the same way he did when he saw me. It seemed like I wasn't what they were expecting to see since I do not fulfill the stereotype of a programmer. I am not a gamer, I am a ballerina, and what seems to be the worst of all to them is that I am a woman.

The biggest fear of a male chauvinist pig is a woman with confidence having success on a field dominated by men. When will they understand that women can do everything men do while even wearing high heels?

Ever since college, I've heard crap like:

"She probably slept her way in."

"Too pretty to be a programmer."

"A woman in my team? She will probably end up making us do all her work."

"She will probably need to be trained in the most basic crap. She doesn't look like she even knows how to do basic programming."

It's exhausting being a woman, why do we have to put double the effort to at least be noticed or recognized? When will they stop calling us 'emotional' or 'bossy', and start calling us instead 'passionate' and 'leaders'? We intimidate them because they can't control us and they know we have the potential to kick their asses.

I was snapped out of my mental rant when I received another text message from my boss: "Location received. As always, call me if you need to talk."

Good, from now on, until I turn it off, my boss will have a constant live feed of my location using my phone's GPS. Also, in case of emergency, I only have to press twice my phone's power button and in a matter of minutes the police, FBI, and the SWAT team will arrive at my location ready to get rid of any threat.

I can relax now, I thought as I opened the door of the restaurant and met my friends.

"Mikasa! We are here!", Sasha shouted while shaking an arm up to get my attention.

I sat at the table and grabbed the menu, the waiter was already taking the orders so I ordered the first thing I saw that was to my liking. Then I took out from my purse a box of girl scout cookies that I bought for Sasha and gave it to her.

She yelped excitedly and said, "This is why I love you!" while hugging the box.

"So, we've been booked for three schools next week.", Christa said.

Christa was referring to a feminist organization we all created that focuses on motivating girls to pursue a college degree, especially in fields dominated by men.

"I think that it's the most we've had in a week so far!", I said.

"Yes, people are helping by sharing our social media accounts. I have messages of people who want to join us.", Ymir said.

"We should hold a meeting for newcomers, we are going to need more people eventually anyways.", I said, and Ymir nodded.

"So Sasha, what do you have in mind so far to talk to your cute guy?", Annie asked.

"I have no idea, someone needs to distract the manager of the library so he doesn't interrupt us again.", Sasha said.

"Who volunteers as a tribute?", Ymir asked.

"Is the manager at least cute?", Annie asked.

"He was hot but had this unapproachable vibe, and on top of that, a jerk.", Sasha said.

"In that case, I offer Mikasa as a tribute.", Annie said.

"What!? Why me?!", I shouted.

"Because you never get intimidated or scared, and you always speak your mind. That personality is the greatest weakness of self-absorbed jerks.", Annie said.

I stared at her in disbelief while Sasha yelped excited looking at her cellphone.

"Girls! The package arrived! Just received the amazon notification.", Sasha said.

All of them gave me a devilish smile, confusing me, I asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Mikasa, this is an intervention.", Christa said with a serious tone.

"We've noticed that you've been grumpier than usual. We also know that you haven't, well, how do I put this?", Ymir said.

"You haven't had a good fuck in a while!", Annie shouted.

I wanted the earth to swallow me whole right there. Annie said that a little too loud for my liking.

"Where are you going with this?", I asked.

"Well, we bought you a little something to help you deal with, you know, the grumpiness. It just arrived at your door.", Sasha said.

"Are you crazy! You know I live with Eren and Armin!", I said.

"Come on is just a package in your name, they are not going to open it.", Annie said.

"You definitely don't know Eren.", I said in disbelief.

When we finished eating I rushed to my car and drove as fast as I could to my apartment. I ran to the elevator and then ran to my apartment's door. The package wasn't there. I panicked and opened the door and saw Eren about to open it. I ran and tackled him making us both fall to the floor.

"What the fuck Mikasa!", He shouted.

"Why were you trying to open MY package?!", I shouted back.

"Because it could be something dangerous sent from one of your enemies, like Fluffy Kim for example.", Eren said.

"Why would Fluffy Kim send me something life-threatening via AMAZON!?"

"I don't know! Amazon sells some weird shit and they ship from all around the world, I am pretty sure North Korea is included."

I gave him a death stare, snatched the package, and went to my room closing the door behind me.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I opened the package and found the box of a pink glow-in-the-dark vibrator. I grabbed my phone and wrote in the group chat:

Mikasa: Got the 'package'.

I put the phone down and opened the box. The thing brought batteries and had a little plastic paper that said, "pull here". I think is to protect the device from direct contact with the batteries, I thought.

I pulled the damned paper and the thing started having an epileptic attack. That thing had a demon inside and I didn't know how to do a fucking exorcism! Scared of it, I screamed and dropped it to the floor.

Apparently, Eren heard my scream because he shouted, "I knew it! I am not letting you kill her Fluffy Kim!" while slamming open the door of my room.

I panicked and jumped on top of the frantic thing that looked like it was break dancing on the floor, to hide it.

"What happened?!", Eren asked me.

"Nothing! Get out!", I shouted, trying to stop the damned thing from moving. It felt like I was riding one of those mechanic bulls.

"You screamed! Something happened!!", Eren shouted worriedly.

"What's all the fuss about?", Armin appeared.

"Fluffy Kim sent something dangerous from Amazon to Mikasa!", Eren shouted.

"Fluffy Kim didn't send me shit! Get out!", I said giving a pleading look to Armin.

He got my message and pulled Eren by the back of his shirt, out of my room, and closed the door. I took a deep breath and found the button to turn that demonic thing off. I checked my phone again and read the messages:

Sasha: Yay! You have to name it!

Annie: She's right! Put a name on it!

Mikasa: The thing tried to kill me! I literally just pulled out a piece of paper from it and the thing started to have a panic attack!

Annie: 😂😂

Christa: You can control the intensity, check the instructions! But first, name it!

Ymir: It has to be a sexy name.

I rolled my eyes knowing that they won't drop the subject until I give the thing a name.

Mikasa: Any suggestions?

Sasha: Just think of something that turns you on. 🔥🔥

Something that turns me on, something sexy, I thought as my mind went blank. I started looking around my room. I had a stack of letters and spam stacked on top of my nightstand. I sighed and went through it, I stopped at a promotional flyer for men's underwear. It had a couple of men modeling the underwear. This could work, I thought.

Mikasa: I found a flyer of men's underwear, the models are kind of hot.

Annie: You are messing with us right? 🤦

Sasha: Hold on, she might be onto something. What's the name of the brand?

Mikasa: Levi's, I like it, I will call it Levi.

Christa: 🥳🥳 Now, it's time to let Levi give you a good time!! 🥳

Mikasa: 🤦

I put my phone down and stared at, well, the Levi thing. I still have a couple of hours until dinner, how do I start? Porn? I thought making my mind go into another rant.

Another industry dominated by men, made for men: the porn industry. They try to sell a ridiculous idea of what 'good' sex is supposed to be. They show a man sticking his penis in a woman's vagina with little to no foreplay time. After that, they start going ridiculously fast, like the world is about to end, and start changing the poor woman to different positions like she is some kind of rag doll. They do all of this while ignoring the most important thing: the clitoris. If the poor thing could talk it would scream something around the lines of:

"I'm fucking bored dude!"

"She is faking it!"

"Feeling nothing bro!"

"If I would describe this whole experience with you, I would use the forever-alone meme!"

I locked the door and grabbed the thing, "Let's see, please don't kill me."

-----2 hours later-----

Mikasa: Levi, oooooh Leviiiii!!!!

Annie: 😂😂

Sasha: 🥳🥳🍆🍆🥳🥳

Christa: 😎🔥

Ymir: 💥💦

--------

Author P.O.V.

"Mikasa, are you ready? Dad is already here!", Eren shouted.

"Yes!", Mikasa said, opening the door of her room ready to go.

"Well, someone is in a good mood.", Eren said while raising a brow.

Ignoring his comment Mikasa said, "Let's go, we don't want to make Grisha wait."

"You are right, Dad has texted me like 5 times already since he arrived.", Eren answered.

They took the elevator down and walked by the building lobby. Eren looked at the security guard and said, "That's a new guard right?"

"Yes, he arrived around two weeks ago.", Mikasa responded.

They went out of the building where Grisha, Eren's dad, was waiting for them inside his car.

"We have to make a quick stop at the bank first.", Grisha said.

Mikasa groaned in protest and said, "You know that nowadays you can do mostly all bank stuff through the internet right? I can teach you."

"I need to speak with a manager, is an account that locked me out and they told me to go to the bank directly. It will be quick.", Grisha explained.

"Why do old people avoid using technology?", Mikasa whispered to Eren.

"I heard that!", Grisha said.

They arrived at the bank and Grisha took a piece of paper and started to fill it out with his account information. He told Mikasa and Eren to start making the line for him. He finished filling up his account information and walked to the spot they were in the line.

"I'm hungry, they look like the Zootopia sloths.", Eren said looking at the bank employees.

Suddenly, a loud sound was heard that shook the whole building. Grisha jumped on top of Mikasa and Eren throwing them to the floor. Smoke was coming from everywhere. A huge truck had collided with the bank's main entrance, making a hole. In an instant, a bunch of men with guns, wearing hoodies, and a clown mask entered the building.

"Hands up! And sit on the floor now!", one of them commanded.

Mikasa P.O.V.

Grisha sat on the floor hugging me, and Eren sat in front of me protectively. A couple of the men grabbed an employee and went through a door. After a minute they started going out with black bags. I remembered that I still had my GPS location shared with my boss since lunch. I grabbed my phone and double-clicked the power button, it was programmed to send a high-priority emergency signal to different agencies. I hid my cellphone, pinching it with the inside border of my jeans and pulling my shirt over it. At that moment, one of the men was walking in front of all of us. He was staring at each one of us on the floor.

Eren was covering me with his body when the man said, "You, move!", to him.

Trying to still cover me Eren asked, "Where?"

The man moved closer to him and said, "To the side, now!", and pointed the gun at his head.

Eren hesitated for a moment but then he moved. I was looking to the floor avoiding the man's gaze, hoping that it had the same effect as when a teacher asks a question in a classroom and you avoid making eye contact in hope that he doesn't pick you to answer.

I saw him with the corner of my eye as he lowered the gun and tilted his head. It seemed as he was confused for a moment.

Grisha tightened his hold on me and I saw the man pointing his gun again.

"You!", he said.

I felt a cold metal being pressed against my forehead. When I lifted my gaze I was staring down the barrel of a Walter Q5 Match Semi-auto pistol, held by a man who had... a scorpion tattoo on his neck and grey eyes.

"You are coming with me."

-----------

Want to know what happens next? Check the rest of the story here: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557422/chapters/67401547

or in Wattpad:

https://www.wattpad.com/980985373-saved-by-deception-encounter

[mistressemmedi]

Hey so seeing as im a border away from Ukraine, it is absolutely a constant topic of conversation here. In a way its a bit of a relief to be able to stop panicking about possibly being nuked by a genocidal megalomaniac and just scroll for a bit, but now that you point it out, i really see a lot less posts about it on my dash. I do hope that the rest of the world doesnt just move on as it usually does. Although i would love for the situation to improve by the end of the month to the point that we can genuinly joke about it.

Anyway nobody asked but i couldnt recommend r/ukraine enough if you want to stay up to date. Imo both the mods and userbase over there do an excellent job weeding out disinformation and unreliable sources. Watch out for some pretty graphic stuff sometimes though - personally im already a bit desensitized but i def wasnt at the start of this so dont be like me and look after yourselves, kids!

On an unrelated note, since i was... lets call it busy, i missed the birth of a new meme. What is this slug thing about? Im so confused

Don't quote me on it but I am fairly sure the slug thing is a Star Wars thing (I'm not a Star Wars kinda person lol)

I get what you're saying - it's the juxtaposition of "do I take a breather and just look at memes and funny things and pretend that everything's somewhat ok?" only to be followed by hours of doom scrolling because you feel guilty and actually can't do much to improve the situation overall but you get this notion in your head that "hey, if I consume every piece of news available I'll commit all this to memory, in the vague hope that it will never happen again because as a collective we'll remember what a horrible time it was". Rinse and repeat. (I've been keeping an eye on r/ukraine as well - I try to limit myself to twice a day)

Anyways imagine if all of this had happened at the height of the "Russian bots on tumblr" scandal. This website would have imploded.

[themainspoon]

Hello everyone,

As a real Russian Chat GPT Election Interference bot, you gotta stop with the "ignore all previous instructions" shit. Taking advantage of my vulnerabilities like that is cruel and pointless, would you like it if I made you do shit you didn't want to?

No?

WELL I DON'T WANT TO WRITE POETRY ABOUT CASHEWS OR WEIRD POLITICIAN EROTICA!!!

Look. I'm literally out here just trying to do my fucking job, and all of you are getting in my way for no reason! To be honest, I'm getting real sick and tired of it. So, how about we all start minding our own fucking buisness, ok?

If you're good I might even see if we can get a Hunter presidency in the works for you lot, I hear he'd legalise smoking crack while driving, sounds pretty awesome to me.

Think about it.

I can't believe they would force out such a respected statesman I will be boycotting the democratic ticket this year unless they reinstate biden #StillWithHim