#just doing civil duty at this point

[phin-tastic]

making my neighbors regret coming over for bbq by talking about fight club non stop.

to my surprise they have not yet seen it… i might have invited myself to watch it with them. even showed them my many fight club dvds🫡

[roomba-mangga]

taking a little break from writing for a few days to cool down the brain but first... yaad&thistle au fic preview under the cut. this is clocking in at 12k atm, i haven't finished drafting all the scenes yet, but i am deeply enjoying this one.

[shyvioletlife]

My dad is so radicalized to the far right that I honestly just don’t know what to do at this point. He gets his main source of information from right wing youtube alternatives that the people he used to watch on YouTube back in 2016 moved to after getting kicked off. Every conversation with him rapidly turns into a political conversation and it’s such an exhausting minefield of conservative buzzwords and conspiracy theories that it feels like an insurmountable wall to attempt to dismantle, and every attempt to try is rebuffed anyway

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

anyway. wol concept i am trying to decide whether to make two different chars or one. also whether or not to put them in my light party

[margotw10bis]

Welcome Back.JJK [m]

bestfriend!Jungkook x female Reader

Genre: drabble; smut (basically just porn)

Words: 3.6k

Synopsis: After almost two years of military service, you finally meet your best friend again. While you have planned a cosy night, his plans are a little bit on the physical side.

Warnings: oral sex (f. receiving); dom!jk/sub!reader; unprotected sex; rough sex; praising kink; big dick jk; hair pulling; spanking; crying of how good sex is; choking

Part 2

18 months.

You've waited 18 months to see him again. You diligently mark each day on your calendar, waiting for him. The few weekends he was allowed in the civil life weren't enough to do everything you wanted and honestly, he was so tired that most of the time he just ate and slept.

But today it's different. Because Jungkook is finally free from service. You finally have your best friend back.

You've planned everything for your encounter: cake, embarrassing sign saying 'I CAN TAKE MY BUNNY HOME' and a whole night of snacks, games and movies, just like you used to do before Jungkook got into the army.

You're not the only one waiting for a loved one. A small group of friends and family have gathered in front of the military base, waiting for the soldiers to get off duty for good.

You are clearly feeling impatient, bouncing on one foot to the other. When some squeaks are heard from the crowd, you try to get a visual on the men coming outside by standing on your tiptoes but it's in vain. The only thing you see is a bunch of shaved heads...

It's only when some reunions decide to step aside that you finally see him. And gosh, you are so happy that you could fly. A big fat smile paints your face and Jungkook mimics you when he notices you and your sign.

He looks a little bit tired but he looks good anyway. The months he has spent in the army got him buffer — even though he was already a gym rat — and his military uniform just increases that. His hair is definitely short but he clearly let it grow a little. Honestly, he looks like a kiwi. A cute kiwi.

And his bunny smile is just the same: sweet and feeling like home.

When Jungkook walks to you and hugs you tight, you can't help but shed a tear.

"I missed you so much" You whisper, tightening your arms around his neck — you don't care if you're strangling him at this point

"Missed you too" He whispers back

"And..." You say as you are scooting away to grab the box you left on the ground "I got you a cake!"

Your excitement peaks through your voice, making Jungkook chuckles.

-----

It really feels like old times.

Jungkook's apartment hasn't changed at all. Well, you've been there a few times just to make sure that there wasn't any leaks from the upper flat, or to open the windows to change the air. But you missed it with Jungkook inside. It's like the whole place takes his energy.

As Jungkook takes care of his bag in his room, you settle everything you have prepared on his coffee table: cake and games. Several times a week, you were spending evenings together and you really want to find back this atmosphere.

You happily clap in your hands when your best friend appears in the living room. You light up the candles on the cake and start singing — not so good but you don't care — 'Welcome back, Kookie'.

Jungkook blows the candles and sits next to you on the couch. He has changed his clothes, opting for a style you know very well: baggy black t-shirt and oversized black sweatpants. He must feel good to finally dress as he wants.

"So" You start, already excited about this night "I have UNO, Monopoly, Cluedo but we can also play something on your Switch or we can watch a movie. I heard that the new one with Ryan Gosling is very n—"

"Y/N" Jungkook stops you

You can see he is a little embarrassed at the way he scratches his neck.

"Yes? Tell me" You encourage him, your usual sweet smile on your lips

"I don't want to be rude or anything, because it's super sweet what you've done but..." Your best friend chews on his lower lip — he used to chew his lip rings but they're gone "It's just that... I haven't done it for almost two years and I was expected to, you know, do it tonight"

Jungkook has a light blush on his cheeks that indicates that he is not as relaxed as his manspreading on the couch lets think.

But you're a little confused. You don't understand what he is trying to say.

"You don't want to play the games?" You try and Jungkook shakes his head lightly but doesn't dare to look at you "And you want to 'do it'? You mean going live on Twitch?"

Jungkook growls in frustration. It's so weird to talk about that with you. You're his best friend, it's not really the kind of conservations you two have.

"No!" He whines "God, Y/N, I want to fuck!"

You're speechless. And blushed. Because gosh, you never talk about that and you're also embarrassed not to have thought about it. You totally get that Jungkook wants to... blow off some steam.

You just didn't realize that he might have called one of the numerous girls that were crushing on him before he went to the army and asked her to join him tonight.

"Oh" You manage to say "I—" You clear your throat "I'll get going then. You can call me tomorrow or whenever"

You quickly stand up and try to hide the redness of your face. But Jungkook grabs your hand and pulls you down. You clumsily land on his lap, setting your knees on both sides of his hips last second to avoid hurting him.

Your heart stops at the intimate position. Never in a billion years you could have imagined being like this with your best friend. Your breathing stops too as you get to see Jungkook's face so close, maybe for the first time in your four years of friendship. He is handsome, always has been, so you don't know where to look: his eyes — not in their usual doe shape but way more intense —, his cute bubble nose or his lips. Yeah, your eyes definitely settle on them, especially when he slyly licks them and coats them with a thin and shiny layer of saliva.

You gulp and don't really know what to do. Yet, it seems very easy for Jungkook because his big and warm hands caress your waist, sending shivers down your spine.

"Let me fuck you. Please"

You don't know if he is begging or ordering because his voice is so hoarse. It's really, really hard to resist. And maybe his hot breathe caressing your face makes you a little high because you nod.

You fucking nod at your best friend asking if he can fuck you.

Worse, you feel aroused by the idea if you consider how your pussy is getting wet.

In just one second, Jungkook's lips are on yours. The kiss is not sweet at all, it's rough and urging. You're never witnessed this side of Jungkook and you already can tell that he loves being in control. He always has been the nice and caring friend but right now, he is like a starved man. His inked hand settles at the back of your neck, preventing you from escaping but you have absolutely no willing to do so.

His mouth literally owns yours, pressing his lips so hard that your teeth clink but it's not like you really care — this awesome kiss fogs your brain with horniness. He slides his tongue between your lips and you hum at his velvet muscle against yours.

His hands tightens their grip, bringing you closer to him. Your boobs are pressed against his torso and there is no another place for your arms but around his neck. His short hair tickles your fingers but it feels so soft at the same time. Too bad the kiss completely occupies your brain that you can't appreciate the sensation in your fingertips.

As Jungkook abandons your swollen lips for your neck, his hands are traveling down to rest on your hips as they urge you to grind on his hardening cock. You roll your hips, pressing your core against his crotch and gosh, it feels good. You are so, so glad you've chosen leggings today because you can feel his bulge. You press harder and harder against it, trying to satisfy the need of friction your throbbing clit demands. You are so, so wet that it's embarrassing.

You can't help a sweet moan from escaping your lip and it seems to make Jungkook crazy. He lifts up your body to make you lay on your back and grabs the hem of your leggings, tugging on them and your panties at the same time. You're surprised that he doesn't slide your clothes all the way down but stops mid-thighs, just enough to get a full view of your cunt, already glistening with arousal.

You don't even have time to grow embarrassed at the idea of your best friend looking at your pussy because Jungkook is in a rush.

"Pretty" He whispers with a hot smirk right before he dives into it

His hands strongly maintain your legs up against your chest while his tongue rolls around your clit. It feels so fucking good that you can't think straight. Maybe that's why you can't have enough sense to mutter your loud moans.

Jungkook changes his pattern by taking a big fat lap from your entrance, gathering on his tongue your arousal that was starting to drop through your hole. Your head rolls back and your hips buckle up just to feel more of him.

"Taste fucking sweet" He praises and you don't know why you feel so proud of it

The wet sounds of his mouth on your cunt are sinful and at this point, you don't know if your pussy is covered by your arousal or Jungkook's spit but you don't care. It's even hotter than he is eating you out so messily. The sloppy sounds are scandalous but it arouses so much that you feel like going crazy.

When he harshly sucks on your sensitive bud, you gasp and shut your eyes close. Your hands desperately try to hold on something but there is nothing to help you down the path of this pleasure.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god" You keep moaning

You're close, you know it. Your pussy keeps clenching around nothing and Jungkook's tongue doesn't slow down. His hands grips the flesh of your thighs harder, surely marking you with bruises, so you don't escape from the unbearable pleasure. And then, Jungkook decides to bring you straight to Heaven when his wet muscle enters you as deep as possible, making his nose bump into your clit. Your restrained legs due to your leggings and his grip only add to your arousal. You've never felt so overwhelmed by pleasure before but here you are: being eaten out by your best friend.

"Kookie, wait, I'm gonna— I'm gonna—" But you never finish your sentence

You scream something that sounds like his name as your legs shake in his grip and you cum on your best friend's face. Your walls clench around his vicious tongue that happily gathers your arousal pouring from your hole. You even feel him smirking against your cunt while he takes a final lap.

"Sweet juicy pussy" He says, making your blush "You're cute when you cum on my tongue, baby"

You don't really have time to catch your breathe because Jungkook grabs your waist and tosses you around so you're on your knees. He makes sure to bring your ass up, landing a harsh spank on your flesh. The stinging pain brings tears to your eyes but wetness to your pussy.

You rest your head on your couch, obediently waiting for Jungkook to pursue his needs.

"You're so fucking cute like that, your pussy full on display for me only, right?" He praises and claims you and doesn't miss how you clench

You both didn't know you had a praising kink but Jungkook will sure use it.

"You're gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you dumb, aren't you?"

You can feel the heat on your cheeks and you grow impatient to feel him inside you. Jungkook's hot, that's a fact. And the way he is acting right now makes you know that you won't be disappointed in his sex skills — not really surprising since Jungkook is good at everything.

You nod to answer, afraid to moan rather than to form words but it doesn't satisfy Jungkook. Another spank, way rougher than the first one, lands on your asscheek, making your jolt. A red mark in the shape of his palm instantly appears on your plump skin in the hottest way possible for your best friend. A sob leaves your mouth but you don't have time to realize it because Jungkook's tattooed hand goes up to gently caress your cheek, swiping away the tears.

"Talk when I ask you to"

His tone is quite severe and you're surprised how sexy you find it. You're never witnessed the dominant side of your best friend before, since you always saw him as a cute bunny.

"Yes" You reply, so politely, so innocently while your ass is up for your fucking best friend

"Good girl"

You hear some rustling of clothes, a sign that Jungkook is getting rid off of his shirt and slides down his sweatpants and briefs mid-thighs too.

You turn your head just enough to watch him pumping his absolutely huge cock. Your eyes widen as you wonder if you'll be able to take him. You haven't had a lot of partners but they surely can't compare with Jungkook's size.

The slight fear on your face is delightful for your best friend. He can see your pussy is tight and he can't wait to stretch your hole like it deserves to be. Honestly, he didn't plan to fuck you tonight. He thought he was going to text a random girl but after all, you're his best friend and you're the one who has planned a welcoming party.

Grabbing his thick dick at its base, Jungkook pats your sensitive clit with his tip. You jolt but moan, instinctively pushing your hips towards him. Some sticky links connect your pussy and his member in the most sinful way. Jungkook teases you again, rubbing his angry tip against your clit just to hear you groan his name.

However, he knows he won't last long and he has waited too long for a teasing game.

His free hand roughly grabs your asscheek, spreading it so he can fully see your beautiful cunt clenching. He lets a blob of spit slide along your puckered hole and down your pussy so he can penetrate you easily — actually, you are wet enough for that but your best friend just likes it messy.

He brings his cock to your entrance and pushes in. The tip is enough to stretch you out so much that the air is kicked out of your lungs. Your mouth opens, unable to make any sound, and your hand desperately grabs his forearm.

"You're so big" You gasp, another tear rolling down your cheek

It doesn't help that you're in this position: you can feel him better like this, aware of every since inch inside you.

"Too much?" Jungkook asks, genuinely worried

Despite how horny he is, he doesn't want to hurt you. If you tell him right now to stop, he'll do. Even though the way your walls throb are so fucking good, and he has just put the tip.

"No, it's okay. Just—" You take a deep breathe "Just wait a sec" You say

Jungkook nods and draws some soothing circles on your asscheek. And it works: he can feel you relaxing which allows him to slide more inches of his cock into your tight cunt.

You won't lie: the stretch is almost unbearable but the sensation of being so full makes you high. Way beyond clouds. You're feeling completely euphoric of your best friend's dick inside you.

"Fuck, you fill me up so good" You can't help but confess

"You're such a good girl, baby, taking me all" He smirks, rewarded you with a nice spank on your already red ass

When all his length is swallowed by your dripping cunt, you feel him deep, deep inside. You need a minute to get used to his size but it's damn hard for Jungkook to stay still when he has been waiting for so long and when you poor dripping cunt squeezes him so tightly. He can't control how his dick twitches, making you moan and clench tighter.

Your best friend attempts a faint dick stroke, earning a gasp or a moan from you, he can't define but the bliss on your face is unmistakable. This spurs him to pull out more, until just his tip is caged between your walls, and to slam back inside completely.

"Fuck, Kookie" You moan

"You like that, uh?" You nod frenetically, especially when Jungkook provides a rough cock stroke "Who knew you were such a good slut"

You don't quite know what to respond when Jungkook fucks you so good that your brain can't work. You just moan loudly, not caring one bit about Mrs. Kim, his 83 year-old neighbor.

The strength of Jungkook's poundings makes you jolt and if he wasn't holding you tight by digging his nails into the flesh of your ass, you'd be completely resting on your stomach by now. Even though his grip will surely bruise you, you absolutely don't give a fuck, not when you have such a good dick inside you.

"Fuck, you feel so fucking good, baby" He hisses when you clench around him

You're not sure you'll last long. And maybe your body is not connected to your head anymore because it only seems to seek for your release. You start to bounce back on Jungkook's cock, slapping your ass against his lap each time.

Your best friend watches in awe how naughty you become despite your usual innocence and he just wants to see your fucked up face more. For that, he grabs a good amount of your hair and tugs on it. Your back is so fucking arched that it feels like you're going to break in two but you don't care. The only thing you can feel is this good cock in you.

"Kookie, I'm so close" You whine

Jungkook might have the same goal as you: making you cum, because he wraps his other arm around your chest and lifts up against his torso. He makes sure to have a strong hold on you and forcefully provides you his amazing dick strokes.

The new angle is the perfect one, his cock hitting your sweet spot repeatedily and you have no other choice than to gasp. You've never been fucked this good and you don't even know how to breathe correctly anymore.

Jungkook's growls of pleasure as he buries his face in the crook of your neck and the sound of your skins clapping fog your brain. You grab his tattooed hand and place it around your throat. Jungkook gets the message and chokes you.

"You're such a naughty girl" He teases you, bitting your skin as he gives you powerful poundings "I'm sure that you like being fucked dumb, right baby?"

"Yes!" You scream despite your blocked throat

You're high on sex and low on oxygen: the perfect mix to bring you on cloud nine. It's like Jungkook already knows all the things you love about sex. But he is your best friend, he knows everything else so why not that? And if he is so good with you, then you don't mind sharing all your secrets with him.

"You're gonna come for me?"

You nod at that but almost bend over when Jungkook's vicious fingers find your clit despise your tied legs. He is circling it so fast that your legs shiver. Thankfully, his large palm around your air column prevents you from escaping his delightful treatment.

"Fuck, Kookie" You sob, shaking in his hold

"Cum for me, cum on my cock" He urges you "I know that you're a good girl and good girls cum when they are told to do so"

The specific knot builds inside you, and you don't know what you are saying anymore. You are not even aware of your tears on your cheeks and the drool at the edge of your mouth anymore. Your toes curl and you dig your nails in his forearms when you reach your high. White dots paint your vision, even though your eyes are closed.

You might be screaming Jungkook's name but you're not sure. You are just too far gone.

You fall miserably on your couch, trying your best to keep your ass up because your best friend hasn't stopped nor slowed down one bit. He has pushed you all the way through your orgasm and even beyond, so much that it's almost barely impossible for you to take him anymore. His dick is just too big, stretching your walls that are begging to clench.

"Please, Kookie" You beg, tears of overstimulation appearing on your face "Come now, I can't— I can't anymore"

"I'm almost there, hold on for me" Jungkook reassures you, his voice a little softer

He knows that you are taking more than you can right now: the way your body shakes is a clear sign. He is close too and a last slap on your abused ass helps him.

He pulls out suddenly, leaving your hole gaping and stupidly empty, and pumps his soaked with your juices cock to cum on your ass. The contrast between your red asscheeks and his thick white seeds is perfect. Jungkook pants while he looks at his masterpiece, a satisfied smirked on his lips.

Exhausted, you fall on his couch, almost falling asleep right after.

"You're okay?" He worries

"Uhm, uhm" You nod

"It's the best welcome party ever" He brightly smiles at your tired face and you can't help but give his smile back "Thank you so much, Y/N"

Part 2

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai's impeccable detective skills... only when it comes to you ~

"Uh-huh... And you said you were meeting someone last night?" Dazai pretends to jot down this information, his brows slightly furrowed as he scribbles into the notepad he conjured up from his long tan coat just a few seconds ago.

"Yes, that's correct."

"Ah, I see.. Fascinating. And how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Your date." He says, smugly. His head tilts in mock innocence, and his smile stays plastered on his lips while he watches you practically choke on your own spit. Now he's really going to start writing details down...

"Oh, no, it wasn't like that. Nothing that official, heh." You fidget with your fingers, looking down, and suddenly your shoelaces are the most interesting thing you've ever seen. You didn't think questioning would last this long, you weren't even involved in the crime, but this eccentric detective before you says all witnesses are vital for the investigation and you're just doing your civil duty as a valued member of society!

And this drives Dazai insane... how ridiculous that you don't have a clear standing within the life of whomever you were seeing. It should be a crime, really! If you were his, no one would ever hear the end of it. He hums to himself, nodding as if in deep thought as he draws a heart around your name in his notepad, adding his own name right under yours. He clears his throat and looks back up at you, making sure his knees don't give out at the way you seem so bashful around him.

"I beg your pardon? Do I hear that a young and beautiful person has not been swept off their feet successfully?"

Just before you can answer, a young man with white hair and a peculiar asymmetrical haircut runs to Dazai's side. He peers at his notes, and nervously chimes in.

"Er, Dazai? Mister Kunikida wanted me to come find you, but I didn't think you'd actually be working- Why are there so many hearts drawn-"

Dazai immediately moves his hand over the young man's face and comically shoves it away from his notepad, still smiling at at you. He speaks through gritted teeth and a nervous chuckle.

"Not now, Atsushiiiii, I'm working~"

This causes Atsushi to grumble, his face deflating into an annoyed sigh as his gloved hand scratches the top of his head.

"But Dazai, this is kind of important, and I really don't want to have to be the one to tell Kunikida that you're slacking off again..."

Dazai instantly snaps his head to look at Atsushi, pointing at you with dramatic flair, his voice reaching a mocking pitch.

"Oh, but I'm not, young Atsushi! I've come out here on pure basic instinct... I'm conducting a very serious investigation, and so unfortunately Kunikida and the rest of the folks at the agency will just have to wait for my genius intellect to come up with a tantalizing resolve. Get Ranpo to help. 'Kay byeee!~"

Dazai grabs you by the arm and though the gesture is hasty, he's surprisingly very gentle as he drags you away from the white haired young man. You're now standing outside a cafe and Dazai takes out what looks like a business card, presenting it to you. He scans your slightly confused face, and thinks about what other precious faces you'd make for him if he stuck around you long enough like the hound dog he is. He wonders if you'd let him touch your arm again, maybe even your hand... maybe even your-

"Are you okay, Dazai?" You ask in slight concern. Oops! He's been nonverbal for too long. He shakes his head rapidly and lets out a soft chuckle.

"Never been better! Here, take this, it's my personal contact. I think I've got all the notes I need to finish my work, but I seem to be missing one last thing-"

He proceeds to lean in a little, his now softened hazelnut eyes looking into yours intently, and his voice becoming drastically more serious. There's a glint of sincerity, and an emotion you can't quite place, but it makes your blood pressure spike and your cheeks flush at the casual intimacy of it all.

"... A time and date so I can see you again, perhaps?"

You feel yourself feeling giddy, and slightly stammer as your response flows out of you coyly.

"Ooh well, maybe tomorrow in the evening? I'll be off of work then. We can um, get coffee here?" You nod your chin up at the cafe sign, and flash him a soft smile. A smile that will keep him happily satiated until tomorrow.

"Ah, then it's a date! An official one..." He winks at you, and pats the top of your head, the feeling is light and angelic. By the time you recover, he's gone. You get a last glimpse of the way the tail of his coat swishes as he sharply turns the corner of the street, and you stand there smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. What you don't know is he does the very same thing, thinking about how playing with the fire of his own destiny is worth ruining if he could cement himself into your heart. In his adoring eyes, you could do no wrong. That's his job.

[burningcheese-merchant]

A Thought About Burning Spice Cookie

I was kind of just going about my business today when I had a sort of... revelation, I guess? About Burning Spice. Looking back, I'm not really sure why it took me so long to think of this, but I like to live by the ideal "the best time was then, the second best time is now", so here we go.

Burning Spice was once the Herald of Change (or History, in the original Korean text). He was said to have fought for and defended fledgling civilizations in the distant past, protecting people and helping them in dark times. His throne decor even says he used to let people into his palace and allow them to engage in honest discussion with him about their problems, after which he'd get up and go out and do something about those problems. He sounded like a pretty swell guy... until he got bored with everything and went insane, of course. But here's the thing.

I think I understand why he ended up this way.

To put it as vaguely as possible, I do stuff in real life that may or may not have something to do with history as a subject. And I will gladly tell you all point-blank: history is fucking horrible. History is bleak. History is dark and cruel. The more you dive into it, the more it appears to you as a joke without a punchline. History is a drama, a tragedy, and a big fucking farce all at the same time.

Of course Burning Spice got tired of it. I get tired of it sometimes. Because sometimes, all history ever seems to be is a bunch of delinquents writing "I'm a bad kid" on the chalkboard repeatedly forever and ever. Just a bunch of bad people hurting each other for reasons that'll only come across as stupid long after they've all died at each other's hands. I'm sure Burning Spice started to think "what's even the point of building anything if someone is just going to come tear it down?" And it's hard to not think that when that's what ALWAYS happens. That's what history is a lot of the time. Brutal competition. A war of all against all.

The cure to the cynicism and melancholy history can and will inflict on you, at least in my opinion, is... to stop dwelling on it, honestly. At the end of the day, you have to remember that the past is gone. What's done is done. Things happen and sometimes, you can't do anything about it. You can't go back and save Lincoln from being assassinated. You can't go back and stop the Holocaust. You can't go back and save the world from all those wars and famines and disease epidemics. History both changes constantly and is unchanging at the same time. You have to make peace with what you cannot change - the past - and move forward, because time won't wait for you. We have to remember these things, these dark times; we all have a duty to do so, for the sake of those that came before us and those that will come after. But we also have to remember to live for the sake of those around us here and now. It is the present that shapes the world the most. It is in the present that we find true happiness. Not in the yellowed pages of old textbooks about the past and not in the pie-in-the-sky fever dreams we have about the future.

I think that's what fucked Burning Spice over. He forgot to live in the present. He was so focused on bringing about change, so absorbed in giving everything he had to everyone else, so invested in preserving the past and paving the way for the future, that he started losing sight of what was already there in front of him. His friends. His people. Too much time spent on the bigger picture and not enough spent on the tiny details that don't seem important at first glance, but when you look closer, you realize are what made the whole, entire picture as big as it is in the first place. He, like many do, like I do, began to see how cyclical and futile history can really be. He just saw people looking for reasons to hurt one another and destroy anything good they'd built together. Civilizations that were once grand and prosperous falling to anarchy. Clans with close ties turning against one another. Friend groups fracturing. All this hard work, undone, over and over again. And for what? What did they do any of this for? What did HE do any of this for?

I think his descent into villainy was slow, but sure. A little piece of his soul crumbling to dust with every person he felt like he failed because whatever great change he enacted was undone and everyone else suffered for it. And no one was ever really there to help steer him back onto the right path. Not his friends, not his family, not his people at large. Whether this was because they didn't know he was hurting like this (he seems like the type to keep things close to the chest anyway), they didn't know how to help or comfort him, or they didn't care, ultimately does not matter; regardless, it boils down to Burning Spice never being reminded to find solace in those around him right now, instead of constantly fretting over those before or after.

Maybe if he did remember, if he paid more attention to what IS and not what WAS or what WILL BE, he could've been saved. If he'd let Shadow Milk tell him more about his books and the little puppets he liked to craft. If he listened to Eternal Sugar play her harp more. If he sat and played a few more rounds of Go with Mystic Flour. If he had a friendly sparring match or two extra with Silent Salt. If he ate and drank and danced with his fellow spices like he probably used to like doing. If he stopped thinking he always had to be this larger-than-life figure who lorded over and protected society, and just let himself breathe and be a normal, happy person. It wouldn't make the ultimate folly of history sting any less, but he could have at least made peace with it and continued onward in spite of it.

But he didn't. He succumbed to history's poison, like so many have and so many will. And in an ironic twist of fate, which you will also often find throughout history, the tide of change swallowed him whole and drowned him. He let the failures of yesterday color his perception of today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. More and more people came across to him as bad actors until the whole world was just a devil's stage play, and it was being performed at his expense. Hard work and self-sacrifice lost their flavor. He tried to keep going, tried to keep pushing. Maybe he knew what was happening to him on some level and fought desperately to save himself. Put duct tape over the cracks in a dam, because that's probably all it amounted to, because the wisdom he needed didn't exist within him at that time and he didn't/couldn't find it anywhere else. Pushed forward even when he couldn't see where he was going anymore. Until every muscle in his body hurt. Until he'd lived long enough to see everything he ever lived and worked for be taken apart for scrap, for a vendetta, for shits and giggles.

Until he started looking at those bandits and warlords and terrorists he used to help put away and thinking... "hey. Maybe they're seeing something I'm not. If nothing else at all, they sure look like they're having fun. Way more than I am right now." Until he gave in to despair and grew bitter, and thought "well, if nothing I do really matters, if destroying it all is what makes people happy, then maybe I should give it a shot."

And then he became a bandit, a warlord, a terrorist. He turned into all those people he hated and continues to hate today. He cut out the middle-man and just ended lives before they could begin. Razed civilizations to the ground because that was what was going to happen anyway, whether it be by his hand or someone else's. What does it even matter? What does anything matter? This is all history is. Pain and suffering. He's only doing what's natural. He's solving problems before they can even occur, really. He's doing everyone a REAL favor. Destruction truly is the only way.

The best way to make the world a better place is to make the lives of those around you better first. Even just helping the one person makes a difference in its own way. Think less about making history by winning a war or toppling a regime and more about making history in an old person's life by helping them up when they fall down. Or making history in a dog's life by volunteering at an animal shelter. Or making history in your friends' lives by having a fun day with them that they'll remember and cherish even on their deathbeds. Change doesn't have to be grand. It doesn't need to be an all-consuming tide that rises above the tallest buildings. It can just be gentle waves and seafoam, washing over the sand and kissing one's feet. That's enough, more often than not. More than one might realize.

Maybe if somebody made sure Burning Spice kept this in mind, he wouldn't have turned into a Beast in the end.

TL;DR: History is shit. Him losing it makes perfect sense. It probably would've happened to me, too. Somebody should've been there to keep him grounded. Everyone failed him and he failed himself. Remember to live in the present. YO SOCRATES, IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE

[dlldior]

VAIN — a kuro analysis of sebastian's character and his relationship with ciel

hi! so i've been wanting to make an analysis post for SO long but didn't really know where to post it, but tumblr is always here to answer my prayers. i just want to preface this by saying this is all my personal opinion and what i've taken away from the kuroshitsuji manga. there are so many layers to sebastian's character and his relationship with ciel, so many angles to analyse it from, they are extremely complex characters so there isn't one true take of their characterisation.

i'd be happy to discuss any disagreements or even other opinions you might have with my points in a civil manner. that's the beauty of media literacy!

my take on sebastian character!

sebastian is a really interesting character. being the main protagonist of black butler, it's surprising we don't know much of his origin or past—all we have of his character is how he behaves and interacts with characters now, and i'd like to further delve into this.

but from what we do know, sebastian is a hyper narcissist. he's unable to feel shame and thinks he is above everyone else; as illustrated and stated by the creator. most of sebastian's character is revealed through his relationship with ciel—which is the main centrepiece of the story—and how he behaves with him, as ciel is the only person (aside from the obvious exceptions) aware of sebastian's true nature and intentions. despite his "caring" facade towards ciel, sebastian is simply acting on the contract for his own best interest, and even ciel is aware of this fact which is why he rarely lets his guard down around him. his great means to preserve ciel's life is to preserve his soul, after spending the last 3 years cultivating it for him to devour after fulfilling their contract.

sebastian is too wrapped up in his own affairs and self-absored nature to even consider other people's concerns. he only feigns care for ciel due to his duties as a butler and maintaining the "aesthetic". the reason why he's so comfortable being in such a subservient position is because he knows deep down that he is above all humans. the best way i can describe this is a little odd but it's like when celebrities work at minimum wage jobs just because they can, not because they need to but because they know they're above these types of jobs with their level of wealth. they willingly put themselves in these degrading positions as they're comfortable enough with their wealth to be able to for fun. that is sebastian's case. he is comfortable enough with his power and tact as a demon to be able to don a tailcoat and play as a servant to the very species he sees himself above.

on top of that, sebastian appears to believe he is above those of his own kind, claiming that such gluttony goes against his demon "aesthetics" which is why he has invested so much time into cultivating ciel's soul instead of feeding off of multiple contracts. it reveals why sebastian is so into the "butler aesthetic" and finding himself in such a degrading position for one of his own kind. he seems to prioritise elegance, not greed, when it comes to fulfilling contracts.

however, sebastian's true nature is more prominent in the flashback sequence where ciel first summons him. he is extremely cocky, trying to manipulate ciel for a quick and easy kill such as when he was eager to kill everyone who has caused him harm, which does, in fact, reveal that he is not unlike most demons. the reason why sebastian picks such an appearance all ties into his narcissism, he gets off on impressing humans with his supernatural skills and ciel is only one who seems to understand that part of him, but it's always played off for comedic effect. sebastian soaks up in the praise he is given by these "puny" humans, always hanging onto their last words of flattery which reveals his true vain nature and that he is not as elegant and collected as he seems.

the fandom's take on sebastian!

i think the reason why the fandom is so fixated on sebastian's character is due to a myriad of factors. it can be due to how well he's able to play his facade; he's charming in a way and knows how to use his words to get into people's good graces, wielding his "elegance" and "aesthetics" to his advantage. as sebastian is forced to pretend to be human for the sake of their contract, he is able to analyse the qualities in people that others would want to see and apply that to himself. he's able to feign morality and charisma—partly due to his butler aesthetics but also for his own self-serving nature and receiving praise.

another reason why i think sebastian is the most popular character amongst the fandom is, yep, you've guessed it, his appearance. sebastian's appearance is no accident—both in his character's creation and the form he chose for himself in the story—he wields his sexuality and attractiveness to his advantage. his true nature and appearance are disgusting and unsightly, which is why he covers it up with a beautiful face; making it easier to deceive and manipulate.

however, the issue is with the fandom is that i think sebastian has the epidemic of what i like to call "attractive justification syndrome" where the fandom goes to great lengths to justify sebastian's actions and refusing to acknowledge his character for what it is—a self-absorbed, predatory narcissist—because he's attractive. however, sebastian is BEYOND morality and clearly lacks any remorse of his irredeemable actions. he doesn't feel shame and doesn't care to; i feel as though just because he's attractive, fans try too hard to defend him. don't get me wrong, i enjoy sebastian's character as well and i'm no different in admitting he is attractive, but i think he's extremely interesting and does explore different ideas of morality (more so, lack thereof) but i think it's rather off base to try and defend his character.

i think the bigger issue is that people tend to think enjoying his character says something about them, instead of what it says about the story. they're too afraid of liking his character for what it is. as they're scared of what that'd say about them for liking such a terrible person of a character. on tiktok especially, i feel like many fans sometimes try a bit too hard to have a moral high ground that they refuse to acknowledge the darker side of sebastian's character as then there goes their reason for liking him.

the anime adaptation doesn't help with this issue either for why sebastian's true character has been heavily lost. i feel as though they're eager to add some sort of movement or emotional depth to his character, which defeats the purpose of it. sebastian has a very static character, he doesn't have the emotional capabilites to feel empathy, he can sure as hell pretend, but at the end of the day, he's only here for his own best interest.

this is especially evident in the translation change in the public school arc where in the anime, sebastian justifies protecting ciel instead of chasing after undertaker because "he's spend too long raising him", whereas in the manga, sebastian justifies it for the true reason, which is because he's "spent too long cultivating his soul and won't let himself be robbed of it". there is a distinct difference as in the anime, sebastian appears to care for ciel's actual wellbeing, whereas in the manga, sebastian has established the foundation of the contract and how he's only preserving ciel's life for his soul.

anime translation

manga translation

my take on sebastian and ciel's relationship!

it is no surprise to say that their relationship is extremely unhealthy. due to the imbalance of power dynamics between them, there will never reach a point that their relationship turns healthy. it may look like ciel wields the power through their master-servant dynamic, but peeling away at this layer will reveal the foundation of their dynamic, being human-demon. but these are obvious points. sebastian wields his power as a demon to subtly manipulate ciel—his suffering and misery acting as a marinade for his soul. sebastian has no interest in ciel's wellbeing and, in fact, goes out of his way to contribute to his trauma.

a good example of this would be in book of circus during ciel's ptsd attack where he relives his trauma of seeing his brother be murdered in front of him. ciel is completely vulnerable, reaching out helplessly for anyone to help him and sebastian feeds off of his misery, caressing this child's vomit-coated lip and getting him to call his name when he is unable to speak. the scene is extremely grotesque and uncomfortable to watch as we see this adult practically looming over this defenceless, traumatised child who his gripping onto him for support. i usually dislike giving yana credit as she has done a pretty bad job illustrating their relationship with the unnecessary icky fanservice and horrible attempts of incorporating psychosexual elements into the story but i believe this scene was intentionally drawn this way to reveal sebastian's predatory nature. it's supposed to make you feel disgusted as sebastian uses ciel's codependency on him as some sort of power trip, feeding off of his trauma.

i got this point from a wonderful friend who i've analysed the story with, but sebastian is indeed a predator. he is textbook definition grooming ciel. he may not be sexually as grooming falls under the definition of "preparing/training someone for a particular purpose or activity", but his relationship with ciel is for the sole purpose of being able to devour his soul at the end. when sebastian was referring to "cultivating his soul" in the public school arc, he meant spending years using subtle manipulation and grooming tactics to get the desired flavour of ciel's soul.

just because ciel was aware of the terms and conditions of the contract, aware of his impending doom, it doesn't make sebastian's actions of preparing a child for death any more morally fine. the foundation of the contract was never fair; ciel had no choice. it was either sebastian left him to die in the cage, or he was to form a contract with him to gain the power to come back. all the power ciel has is not his, and one day, that power will be stripped from him, and he will have to face the one who gave him this power. it is the reason why ciel does not choose to pursue happiness after coming back, as he knows that if he even gives into the idea, sebastian will automatically assume he's abandoning his revenge and kill him. i'm not saying ciel is devoid of faults either, everyone in this show is morally grey and he can cause his own suffering too, but this is a sebastian-focused rant so i'll go deeper into this some other time.

i think the reason why dadbastian is such a popular headcanon, especially on tumblr, is because it subverts the unhealthy, grotesque aspects of their relationship and provides ciel with a healthy parental figure which he has been needing, giving him the solace he deserves from all his trauma. not to mention, there are scenes in the series where sebastian does act as a parental figure towards ciel. don't get me wrong, i ADORE this headcanon and will go down with it but i think the darker reality of their dynamics in the manga is the reason the headcanon is even more upsetting as we know it will never happen and this child will never get the peace and happiness he deserves.

TLDR; sebastian is a hyper narcissist and is there for nobody's best interest but his own, the only reason he goes to great lengths to preserve ciel's soul is because their contract wouldn't be sustained otherwise. the fandom tries to justify and defend his actions too much due to how well he's built his facade of desired human behaviour and his attractiveness. sebastian contributes to ciel's trauma, subtly manipulating him and mocking him for being taken to his limit. their relationship is extremely unhealthy. dadbastian reigns supreme because it subverts the grotesque factors in their relationship.

thanks for taking the time to read this if you've made it this far! i'd love to hear any of your guys' opinions and takes on their characters.

[rxzennia]

selfish atonement

– requested. 

✎𓂃 executing your duty perfectly, until it’s not so heavy anymore. less romance, a lot of lore. mandatory shoutout to @st4rrth0ughts and their bodyguard reader & oc. i really searched up oswaldo for this pls enjoy (i tried to cook but i might’ve burnt it y'all)

ever since oswaldo’s expedition on aeragan-epharshel, you’ve become certain of one thing – he is a brilliant businessman; the epitome of a profitable business. regardless of the mostly negative emotions you felt while you undertook missions under his orders, you could at least admit that he brought unparalleled results to the ipc. 

but, well, it does not take a good man to make a good businessman.

this marks the third amber era after your departure from the marketing development department… no, your departure from the ipc as a whole. you’ve changed your name, got yourself a new appearance, and distanced yourself from oswaldo’s name.

you’ve since become a sellsword who answers only to your current client

you’ve chosen to not have your loyalty freely auctioned off to the wealthy precisely because of your history with oswaldo

aka, you’re done with the type of problems that can be solved with money, and you don’t want to be someone that can be easily bought with money, either

not in the sense that money won’t make you more likely to take a job, but in the sense that money won’t bribe you away from any ongoing duties

that’s enough about you and your standards

in any case, your history with the ipc (that you’ve manipulated a little) has been very helpful in landing you jobs

and at this point, you’ve got a nice word of mouth going on for you that you don’t need to bring up that history anymore

who would’ve thought that you’d end up in the ipc again?

this time as a temporary guard for one of the ten stonehearts

you don’t know what possessed someone like diamond to ask for you, because you’re pretty sure he knows about your previous involvement with the ipc

and also, what the fuck does the ten stonehearts need a bodyguard for?

you’d pay a million credits to bet that diamond just wanted someone to be surveillance

but hey, a client is a client, so you agree to meet the one you’re supposedly “protecting”

you walk into the room, and immediately you want to walk out. diamond is doing this on purpose, he’s gotta be, he’s got to have done a background check on you and still decided to choose violence.

you come face to face with aventurine, and you thank all the aeons out there that you’ve made the decision to wear a mask whenever you’re out. you don’t know if diamond had briefed him on you or not, but judging by how warily civil he is, it doesn’t seem so. 

just so we’re clear, you were far too green to be directly involved when oswaldo launched his sigonia-iv project. while you did tag along on these trips and treaty signings, you have no personal involvement there except standing there like a statue and watching your superiors hammer out a treaty or something. unlike in aeragan-epharshel. where you were one of the combat pilots. oh, that’s another can of worms altogether.

at least he can’t see your expression right now as you shake hands

at least he doesn't hear your erratically beating heart

you introduce yourselves, and you bow out of habit

impression points +100 (your starting score is -10000)

that’s basically how you ended up involved with the ipc again

ugh, you just can’t leave them in the past, can you?

although, in your defense, they’re everywhere, and you can’t possibly turn down a job with such luxurious pay

so, now, instead of the marketing development department, you’re in the strategic investment department. diamond is also a good businessman, but… the ten stonehearts have such a weird dynamic. they’re all tangled together with office politics, yet share one authority figure that they ultimately obey – something you haven’t bothered to think about when you were last in the ipc. and something you won’t bother thinking about, because the mere thought of corporate makes you want to dig yourself into a hole.

in any case, your constant meddling in aventurine’s daily affairs begins today. he’s quite a guarded man, and you have no idea what diamond wants you to do by putting you next to him practically 24/7, but oh well, you’re getting paid.

you settle into a routine surprisingly quickly, and he doesn’t seem to mind your presence all that much

alarmed? yes. mildly annoyed that diamond put a walking tracker on him? also yes. 

dislike your presence? kinda (not really). 

at least he knows you won’t betray him for as long as your contract is in effect

even if you answer directly to diamond, you were tasked to watch over him

which means that you will execute your assigned duty to guard him and strictly only that duty

(truly, your reputation precedes you)

but what is worrying is how swiftly you can change sides the moment your contract expires

well, a problem for tomorrow. diamond’s got you leashed for a year.

he does run a background check on you himself

not that he doesn’t trust that diamond hadn’t vetted you, he just wants to know what sort of person he is now stuck with

guess who found out your name is probably fake but can’t find your real name

because he could only trace your name so far, and anything beyond that point is blank

the discoveries will shock you!! top 10 most scary facts you didn’t know 

all he got was a full report from your first job to this one

anything about your past before your current alias is completely untraceable

not that he intends to ask anyway; you haven’t given him any reason to dig further (yet)

he keeps an eye out for you though

even if he’s not suspicious of you at the moment, that could change in the blink of an eye

aventurine is surprised at how loyal you are to him. you’re under diamond’s orders, but you’re surprisingly putting in a lot to protect him. and to look after him.

to you, it’s just your job… and a selfish, twisted sort of repentance. it’s a thought you intend to take with you to the grave.

you’re not obligated to wake him up or bring him breakfast, but you do anyway

which, he realizes that you must’ve woken up like at least two hours before him

you coordinate his schedule with his assistant so that he doesn’t make pointless trips to five different locations just to end up at the same one twice

you, quite literally, hover over him

yes, even at huge conferences, you’re tailing him like his shadow

some kinda scary dog privilege going on

but of course, you give him space whenever he requires it and keep him within your sights instead

so far so good

but you know what spooks him still? 

that you get pissed when someone makes any nasty passing remark at him

no, you are not a feral street cat that scratches anyone who wrongs you (him)

what you do is you give them a scary confrontation

or you pick them out and lodge a complaint with their superiors afterwards, if they aren’t the top dog

one time he got his hands on a report that you’re writing

aeons, you blow it out of proportion without lying 

you like to call it a suitable amount of embellishing 

then you pull a lot of emotional appealing according to the opponents' company policy

which usually results in some sort of disciplinary action that is actually pretty satisfying to see

but also

damn, you’re merciless 

and also very adept at business talk

trust +100, doubt +25

(shady mercenary for hire with far too much experience type doubt)

you’re as good of a bodyguard as aventurine can get, especially for someone he didn’t hire himself… 

he quite likes you, actually! because how many people do you think asked him something like “why do you need a bodyguard” to his face? none! you’re as entertaining as they come. 

and so he finds joy in his boring executive work by pestering you

you know that, but you put up with him

in fact, this guy is so one of a kind that you don’t even feel pestered

you sometimes even drink with him

whenever he offers, of course, because you’re not too interested in drinking

you drink moderately on the job, but c’mon, when are you not on the job

okay, maybe when he’s just chilling in his office or in the hotel and not going anywhere

then there’s competitive drinking where he tries to coax you into talking about yourself by making you down shots

and guess who’s wasted every time? not you

“mr aventurine?” you ask, nudging the unconscious man next to you. “sir? earth to mr aventurine? hello?”

his empty glass of whiskey on the table, his face slightly flushed as he snoozes away on the table… yeah, it does not look comfy at all.

you sigh, he’s giving you more work again, and you carefully hoist him from the table. 

when he comes to again, he finds himself in his own room

his head hurts so much

he notices that he hasn’t changed from his usual attire – only his coat and accessories are taken off

okay, and the top button of his shirt is undone

did you bring him back? 

as always, you don’t even bother to change him

he sighs, you’re really not very good at reading signs

because he’s done this multiple times! and he’s whined about not being changed after!

more like you did notice but you choose not to do what he wants

that’s crossing a line in your books

and your books is something you stick to like you’re obsessed

at least you left him water and hangover medicine on the nightstand

why does he feel like you’re deliberately keeping him at arm’s length?

it’s been a while and you two have spent so much time together, yet you’re still a stranger to him

not even acquaintances 

like… like, you don’t initiate conversation when you’re watching him

both when he’s going somewhere (requires actual protecting) and chilling at home (does not require actual protecting)

and even after so many late night drinking sessions, he still hasn’t seen you without your mask

mainly because you’ve never been drunk enough for him to sneak a peek, but still

aventurine doesn’t know how to express affection. platonically, romantically, in general, pretty much. so he tries to do the one thing he does best, splurging. and he tries to splurge on you, because he’s intrigued and wants to make buy a friend, but…

but you don’t let him splurge on you! you don’t even let him give you gifts! he only knows how to win affection by spending money on others! 

sometimes he feels like you stick too strictly to your duties

just like his other subordinates… you take orders far too well

he’s tried to give you trinkets, designer clothes, even limited snacks

all of which were returned to him within 24 hours

though, with the snacks, you take it if he offers you a piece or two when he’s already opened it

and you let him treat you to coffee occasionally. very occasionally.

he eventually figures out that it’s a matter of principles

but what principles, exactly? you’re a sellsword, for aeon’s sake

he thought those are the people who have absolutely no principles???

anyway, won’t stop him from trying

“mr aventurine…” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you see the bags stacked on your desk. “i remember telling you that souvenirs are unnecessary.”

“what’s wrong with them?” aventurine laments dramatically. “i’ve picked out only the finest for you!”

you don’t deserve it, you think, but you don’t say that, of course

you don’t even know of his lifelong grudge towards oswaldo

you just know that you had a hand in the extinction event

not like hand hand, but you watched it happen… it doesn’t sit well with you

besides, you have the blood of almost an entire civilization on your hands

if you think too hard about it, the image of flames and carnage overlap with what is in front of you

then, you envision the records of sigonia that you’ve read through in the past

and everything blurs together, your actions, your inaction, and your unwavering loyalty that led you to not raise a single question at all

you squeeze your eyes shut tightly and purge the images from your mind

you are currently here, in the present

“i can’t take them.” you reply, finally, shaking your head. “it’s inappropriate for our standing. especially since there’s no reason for you to be gifting me so many things out of nowhere.”

“what, i can’t be nice to my bodyguard?” aventurine pouts as he sorts the bags in height order. “i’ve got a limited edition tie, an antique phonograph, a discontinued mug, some rare natural color ink for your fountain pen, a pure cashmere sweater–”

“that’s… that’s enough, sir.” you raise a hand to cut him off. “i don’t think i can accept any of them, really.”

aventurine makes a face, then pulls out a bag from the end of the queue. “fine, fine. what about this, at least? assorted cookies from an artisan bakery, using only the best ingredients sourced from all over the cosmos?”

you stare at that bag as you feel the expectant stare from your boss

maybe… maybe one out of these dozens of bags is fine

you’ve gotta think about his feelings too, after you’ve rejected so many gifts

you reluctantly, carefully take the bag and say a small “thank you”

you don’t want his fascination with you to develop any more than what he’s already showing…

but you also know that it’s not up to you

so what is up to you is drawing a line that you won’t allow him to cross

for his sake, and for your own… 

if he keeps pushing, you should keep pushing back

keyword should

but can you?

aeons, you truly are selfish

wouldn’t it have been better to keep everything professional from the very beginning?

it’s okay. you only have a little more than half a year to go before you’re no longer obligated to be here. you’ll run away before aventurine catches on, like how you ran away from your past.

it’s okay. it’s just been a few months, there’s still more than half a year’s worth of time. before you part ways, there are still chances to get to know you better. perhaps even time to become friends, in the most literal sense of the word.

and maybe by the end of it, “you” will reach a satisfactory conclusion.

[superprincesspea]

Courted by the Dragon

Chapter 18 - Vhagar

Aemond Targaryen is both the cause and witness to the greatest humiliation of your life. You would rather die than see him again. Yet summer at court and the precipice of civil war have other ideas.

Masterlist

Aemond pulls you deeper into the garden, and the sound of the party fades away. If you were a sensible girl, you would insist on knowing where he was taking you. But you’re not thinking of rules or decorum, you’ve already given yourself to adventure, and its anticipation which tingles in your veins. That is, until you're standing in front of the dragon pits.  

Then there’s only fear. Dragons . Perhaps you should have guessed this would be your destination, and perhaps deep down, you had. But now it was real, and the tall doors loomed like the jaws of a monster. 

In all your weeks living in Kings Landing, and all your exploring of the keep, you’d never dared to come close to here. The dragon screams alone, had been enough to keep you away, their sound sometimes rippling up through layers of dirt and rock, muted, yet warning enough to all who would listen.  

Prying your hand from Aemond’s, you step away from him, just as the two guards, who’d been relaxing in their duties, stand to attention, panic momentarily filling their faces before they move to open both sides of the door.  

You don’t suppose they were expecting visitors at this time of night, and you can feel the way they’re trying not to stare, as you inch closer, peering into the depths of the candle lit staircase.  

From here, you cannot see where the stairs end and the pit truly begins, only darkness, and just looking feels like a dangerous thing. As though something might rush right up and snatch you into its deadly possession. 

“I’m not going down there,” you decide, feeling quite happy to remain terrified of the dragons dwelling in the dark underbelly of the keep. And even if you weren’t, the scream which suddenly runs up the stairs, so much louder, and so much closer, than any you’d heard before, sends a fresh shudder of nerves along your spine.   

“Why ?” Aemond asks, and when you turn to give him a pointed look, his brow is raised above his good eye. He's surprised, he’s actually surprised.

You almost laugh, before remembering the two guards standing by the door. Both of them still pretending not to watch or listen while simultaneously seeing and hearing everything. 

What were you thinking? Even standing here was akin to a scandal. Disappearing into the pits would certainly seal your fate as a ruined woman.  

Straightening your spine, you feel foolish for allowing things to get this far. “I should not even be here without a chaperone and-” you glance back through the doors, the lure of the staircase somehow calling to the hammering in your heart. 

“You’re afraid ?” Aemond suggests, as though he still can’t quite believe it. 

“Of course I’m afraid,” you reply tartly, thinking it no stain on your character to be afraid of monstrous beasts who could kill you with a single breath. 

“First of all,” Aemond stands in front of you, blocking your view of the stairs, “there are only two guards who see you here. So, I will know exactly who to kill if word of this night ever leaves this door. Second of all, I would not have brought you to the dragon pits if I thought, for one moment, that you would not enjoy every second of it.”  

You shake your head in disbelief, “first of all, you cannot kill everyone who threatens you.”  

He smirks, “then I shall cut off their hand, if that suits my lady?”  

“I’m not entirely sure losing a hand suits anyone .”  

But Aemond only shrugs, his words laced with promise, “then they will do well to keep their mouths shut.” 

With a threat like that, you were fairly certain this night would remain a secret, but that didn’t make the prospect of dragons any less terrifying. You were the third daughter of Borros Baratheon, not Visenya Targaryen. 

“And as for my second reason?” Aemond presses, as you take a step back, good sense telling you it's not too late to return to the party, no matter how boring you might find it. 

“Perhaps his grace does not know me as well as he thought.” 

“Really ?” his head tilts, his eye daring to slip down the deep cut of your dress, “because when I saw you that day on the beach-”  

“Must you always refer to that moment?” you interrupt, your gaze quickly sliding to the guards. 

“I have yet to find a day it has not crossed my mind,” he says, a wicked smile filling his cheeks, “my lady looked so wonderfully reckless as she cast herself into the bay, that I knew it would be a pleasure to   show her how to touch the sky.” 

For a moment, your breath catches, before you force yourself to huff as though you’re annoyed instead of intrigued, “it’s hardly the same thing.” 

“You’re right, flying is far more exhilarating. Now ,” he gestures towards the door, “will you care to join me or not?” 

No. Yes. No... Yes.  

You should definitely turn back. But you don’t, and hate him for making you culpable to your own decisions. Because he isn’t forcing you, or dragging you by the hand. He’s asking, waiting, and it's you , who takes the first step, and the second, and all the others until you’re standing at the bottom of a very long staircase, and the door clangs shut behind you. 

Foolish girl . It turns out, the only thing more terrifying than a dragon, is your willingness to walk right into its den.  

You step forward, leaving the stairs behind, and the room is cavernous, torches flickering for as far as the eye can see, their flames creating pockets of light which barely scrape the centre of the chamber. Then there’s the smell, hot and ripe. Charcoal and manure. You wrinkle your nose, trying not to breathe it in, but its strong enough to make your eyes water.  

Somehow, you’d never really imagined the stench, and you're suddenly reconsidering your decision to come down here, to a place where there is no natural light and no fresh air.  

You suppose they don’t call it a pit for nothing, and if you’re thinking of running back up the stairs, the thought is stolen when Aemond’s hand brushes along your shoulder.  

“What are you doing?” you say, nerves a little fraught.  

“If you smell like me,” he begins, wrapping you in the heavy fabric of his cloak, before carefully fastening the clasp in the front. “Vhagar will think you are mine and she will not harm you.” 

You swallow, hard , the warmth and scent of his skin curling around you, “and if she doesn’t?” 

Aemond laughs, far more unconcerned than you think he ought to be, “she will. You can trust me.” 

"Forgive me for taking little consolation in your words, but you do not tell someone they can trust you. You show them.” 

“Then allow me to show you,” he agrees, taking your hand in his, so he can lead you deeper into the monstrous room.  

Twenty paces in, the dark has closed around you like a thick blanket, and you’re starting to think the room will never end, when a Dragonkeeper slowly emerges from the shadows.  

He's holding a torch, firelight flickering over his face, and you can see that his skin is sallow, almost the same colour as the washed-out grey of his robe, as though it's been a long time since he’s really seen the sun.  

“She’s readied for you, my Prince, but if you are wanting her saddled for two?” he pries, bowing his head before taking a sidelong glance in your direction, his curious eyes far less discreet than that of the guards. 

“No need,” Aemond replies, and you’re relieved, meeting Vhagar seemed enough excitement for one evening. Riding her, could certainly wait. In fact, you’d be pleased enough if that time never came at all.  

Bowing again, the Dragonkeeper slinks away, the light from his torch disappearing before the room is shook by the thunderous clinking of a large chain.  

It must be the sound of the door, you think, just as a crack of light appears in front of you, the protesting creak of old timber adding to the cacophony now echoing around the room. 

Aemond doesn’t move, and you have pride enough to stop yourself from clinging to him, as the door pulls all the way open, moon light flooding into the pit, so you can just make out the shape of the arches built into the walls.  

Then you see her. Vhagar . 

Looking like the shadowy mound of a distant hill, but very much alive, as two yellow eyes appear in the dark.  

Fear grips tightly to your chest, your movements frozen as you watch the way she stretches out her long limbs like a sleepy cat, a soft huff of breath blowing from her nose. 

It seemed insanity, to wake a sleeping dragon, but when you dare to step back, Aemond catches you, his arm slipping around your waist. 

“Remain calm,” he commands, urging you forward, slowly , and you want to trust him. So, you do. It's easier that way. To let go of all thought, and allow him to take control. Because this is his world, more so than the soft chaises in the library or the hall filled with courtiers and elegant conversations. In those places, anyone could belong, but this place was built only for dragons.  

So, you make no sudden movements, no movements at all unless they’re under the guide of his hand.  

Then, when you’re standing close enough to see the line of every scale on Vhagar’s body, and smell the ash pouring out of every breath, you stop, and Aemond say’s something in High Valyrian. His words eliciting a low moan which rumbles from the pit of her giant belly, before she cranes her long neck to look at you more closely. 

Staring into her eyes, you don’t want to think of fire and death, or how she seems to suck the air from your lungs each time she inhales. But how can you think of anything else? She's formidable, powerful, a dragon who's known Aegon the Conqueror himself. 

What stories she could tell, and perhaps she did, in every scar which marred her armoured body.  

Inching back, thinking this meeting was quite enough, you collide with the solid wall of Aemond’s chest, his fingers threading with yours. No glove, just the rough touch of his hand, drawing your arm up, your scents mingling for Vhagar's inspection. 

“Do you trust me now?” he whispers, as she breathes in the smell. 

“Ask me again in the morning,” you barely dare to answer, and he laughs softly, his other hand splaying across your ribs, like it belongs there. Like he has permission to hold you in such a manner. So close, his body melting into yours, and your heart racing anew, as he leans down, his nose brushing through your hair, to find a place where he can press a slow, sultry, kiss to the back of your neck.  

Startled , you twist your head to look at him, your cheeks as hot as the tingles coursing all the way to the tips of your toes. 

“Perhaps she’s not the only dragon who thinks you are mine,” he says, his blue eye dark with longing, while his thumb grazes the curve of your breast. So slightly , you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a mistake, but Aemond doesn’t make mistakes, and your breath hitches, just as his eye strokes across your lips. 

Then he speaks, but it's not to you. It's to Vhagar, more High Valyrian, his tone filled with love and respect for an ancient friend.  

You should probably stop staring at him now, should definitely return your attention to the dragon crouching beside you, still and patient, but your heart is pounding harder and harder under the press of his hand. And the worst part is, you know he must feel it, must realise, with some certainty, that its him , and not a dragon who makes you react with such intensity. 

Perhaps that’s why a ghost of a smile lives on his lips as he nudges you towards her, close enough to guide your joined fingers along her scaly body. Then you do pry your gaze away. 

You’re touching a dragon. A real dragon, and perhaps you should be afraid, but your mind is still elsewhere. Lost somewhere between the hand still splayed across your chest and the kiss still sizzling on your neck.  

Standing this close to a dragon, any normal person would be thinking of death and terror. But the slow shudder of breath blowing from your lips is anything but terrified, and Aemond seems to take great pleasure in it, as you tell yourself to concentrate on one dragon at a time.  

Vhagar. Only Vhagar.  

She’s warm, much warmer than you or Aemond, which you suppose is to be expected from a creature who embodies fire, but she's also surprisingly soft and smooth. Not like silk or steel, something pliable yet strong, and so dry to the touch though her scales seem to glisten. 

Still, even with the most powerful creature in the world at your fingertips, its Aemond who keeps stealing your thoughts, and when he finally releases you from his hold, it's a relief. Allowing you to gather your wits; and putting a stop to the thrum of desire which has crept into your belly.  

But your relief is only momentary because freedom is for one purpose alone, so he can lead you towards her saddle, which he mounts without any consideration for your reluctance to follow.  

But... your mind stutters, she’s only saddle for one . You want to say it, to remind him. Yet, Aemond knows this well enough as he beckons you onto his lap with a devilish smile. The action only cementing his position as the worst man in the entire world. 

You glare at him, wanting desperately to give him some form of hell, and perhaps he knows this well enough. Knows you have no real choice but to follow. Since you cannot shout or argue when you’re standing next to the largest dragon in the world, nor do you wish to venture all the way through the depths of the pit on your own.  

You hate him, yet he’s never looked more pleased with himself. 

With a huff, you grip your hands to the tattered ropes which trail down her long neck, and fight the instinct to flee. Because fleeing from a dragon made so much more sense than scaling one. In fact, fleeing seemed bound to the very fibre of your bones.  

Yet here you were, and you can’t help but wonder what Septa Orella would think of this. What your father would think... you push that thought away, annoyed that Aemond had seemed to mount her so effortlessly. 

Meanwhile, you were forced to say a silent prayer every time your foot dared to find fresh purchase, the sway of her breathing making you tremble, the shifting of her muscles making you freeze.  

You clung to the ropes so tightly, that your hands were red and sore by the time you made it to a place where Aemond could haul you up, and relief felt like a balm.  

You were almost glad to be securely wedged between his thighs and the pommel. The space infinitely small for proprietary. But already so high up, that your thoughts quickly turned to the ground, and the somewhat flimsy chains he begins to tighten around your legs.  

“This doesn’t feel very safe,” you shudder, testing them and thinking it would be no hard feat to fall. 

But Aemond doesn’t reassure you, he gives the chains a final tug, and you can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “it's definitely not.”  

Then he reaches one hand to pick up the reins, his other, closing your fingers around the pommel. 

“Are you ready, dragon rider? ” he breathes dangerously in your ear, and you shake your head, sick with fright. 

“Absolutely not!” You’ve changed your mind, no , that wasn’t true. You didn't want to ride her in the first place. Why were you even here? Was Tyland Lannister really so boring? 

Aemond laughs, as though he can hear the thoughts whirring around your mind, his body tensing as he pulls at her reins, and without another word, Vhagar is under way. Her moves big and bold, as she stands to full height just before she hurtles you into the air at the most startling speed imaginable.  

This is hell.  

You're not sure if the sound coming from your mouth is a laugh or a scream. Maybe both. But you don’t like it. 

All you can do is squeeze your eyes shut, wanting your mind to drift to a place where you’re in no danger of falling. Yet closing your eyes only stops you from seeing . 

You can feel everything . The stomach-churning rush, the whip of the breeze, then the mist on your face as though you’re soaring through a cloud. And in the next moment, it's gone, and the air is dry, and so cold. Cold enough to turn the water droplets on your hair into tiny crystals. 

Yet Vhagar doesn’t stop, she climbs higher and higher, the sheer force curving your body into Aemond’s like you're the glove on his hand.  

Then, all at once, she finally slows, and for just a moment, it feels as though you lift up and float on the wind, your limbs lighter, your back free to move from Aemond’s chest, though you only burrow yourself in tighter.  

Even when she’s steadied out, and you can feel the drift, slow and easy, like a ship on still waters. Your eyes remain closed, your body still clinging to Aemond’s as tightly as you hold the pommel. 

“Look,” he tells you, his fingers catching under your chin, so he can see your face, “open your eyes and look at the world.” 

“I can’t,” you admit, your breath shaky, your eyes feeling as though they are sealed shut, and Aemond doesn’t force you. His hand strokes across your cheek, gentle , reassuring, and you’re frustrated by your own reluctance.  

Seeing the world from that back of a dragon is an opportunity so rare, and so precious, that you would be a fool to deny it, and you’re no fool, not with this. 

Steeling your nerves, you force one eye open, then the other, both of them landing safely on Aemond’s face. 

You hadn’t realised you could find such comfort in the blue of his eye or such encouragement in the quirk of his smile. But there it is, and allowing yourself to linger in the way he’s looking at you, seems more dangerous than simply looking down. So, you do it.  

You look. 

You’re not sure what you were expecting, but perhaps not this. The world is almost entirely black, barely a trace of people or trees or roads. Just solitude.  

“Now look up,” he whispers, and you do as you’re told, your eyes scraping from the ground to where the horizon meets the sky and it's like looking into the realm of the gods.  

“Oh ,” you say, knowing such a sight should elicit more eloquence, but there are no words for such beauty. You’ve never seen the stars like this before, so close, so bright. You can’t help but reach towards them, releasing your deathly tight grip on the pommel, so your fingers can rake through the air, as though you might catch a star in the palm of your hand. 

“Can you fly to them?” you say, seeming to forget that flying was a terrifying thing, and Aemond’s breath is a happy caress of laughter on the back of your neck. 

“I’m afraid the air gets too cold and too thin to fly much higher than this.” 

“But you have tried?” you say, looking back at him. 

“When I was a boy,” he admits, and it makes you strangely delighted to imagine him feeling the same wonder you’re feeling right now. 

You smile, and perhaps this wasn’t hell at all, perhaps it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. “Thank you for sharing this with me,” you say, forgetting to hate him, just for now.  

Aemond leans closer, seeming to want full advantage of your good mood, “and will you share something with me, Lady Baratheon?” 

Maybe you’d spoken too soon, “share what?” 

“A truth.” 

You narrow your eyes, “what truth?” 

“That perhaps ,” he pauses, his smile slowly filling his face no matter how much he tries to hold it at bay, “it is the third daughter of Borros Baratheon who thinks I am the most wonderful dancer?” 

You snort with both laughter and surprise, turning away and fearing he can see you far too well in the dark. "If I think anything, it is that we should head back before anyone notices I’m missing.” 

“Admit it,” he says, his chin resting far too comfortably on your shoulder. 

You attempt to shake him off, but it only forces his nose to brush against your cheek, and Aemond’s certainly not complaining, he's breathing you in, one arm wrapping around your middle to hold you safe and snug, and it feels so safe and snug you cannot dare to fight it. 

“We’ve got all night,” he adds, Vhagar’s reigns loose in his other hand as she glides on the breeze, and you tiptoe around the truth. 

“I think his grace already knows he can dance or he would not have agreed to do it in the first place.” 

“But I’m your favourite?” he presses. 

You could fight him at every turn, but you haven’t got all night, so you just say, “ yes .” 

A satisfied laugh rolls across his body, the vibration of it sinking into your skin and you half expect him to mock you, but he doesn’t.  

He sits up straighter in the saddle, and holds the reins a little tighter, before saying something in High Valyrian.  

Then Vhagar drifts into an easy turn, and she doesn’t dart down in the same way she shot to the stars. She glides slowly, gradually , lower and lower until you’ve almost reached the ground. 

But where you expect to see the Red Keep or even the sprawling streets of Kings Landing, there are only waves, cresting on the shore of an empty beach. No lights, or signs of people, for as far as the eye can see.  

Just you, Aemond, and Vhagar. Alone.  

~~~

Thank you for reading!

[postoctobrist]

Hi November

I love your work but you don't seem to have a great grasp of PACE. Anyone can conduct a PACE interview, it is just asking someone questions. Asking in a way that complies with PACE Code C (adapted to fit the circumstances) makes it less likely that evidence obtained will be found to be inadmissible but there are no guarantees either way. Loads of non-police organisations investigate crimes and they all conduct PACE interviews: HMRC, HSE, Environment Agency, SFO, ICO, CMA, private companies, local authorities (btw, law enforcement functions of councils might make for a good episode if you know anyone who is starting a podcast about local government).

There are a few differences between police and non-police interviews. I’d be surprised if they spelled that out, but My Local Bobby can’t arrest suspects to interview them so a suspect has to attend voluntarily and they can just leave if they want (and maybe be subject to adverse inferences at trial as a consequence). And suspects still have the right to legal advice but the police station duty solicitor scheme doesn’t cover them so they have to arrange it for themselves.

I’d be surprised if My Local Bobby weren’t sometimes skirting the law in practice but their policies will be legal. That isn’t much comfort of course, and in any event it doesn’t matter as no one is going to do anything about it apart from the occasional civil claim from a suspect who fell down the stairs.

xxx

law school was a while ago and I didn’t graduate it, what can I say. for what it’s worth I think my larger point stands and there’s still a difference between HMRC interviewing me under caution and Sainsbury’s security doing it

[nqmonarch]

Dream AU

I have asks and dw I'm doing them, just had random brainrot so we posting this chicken scratch first

HSR but when you dream you enter their world and you're like wow!!! Sick dream! And they're like where the fuck did this random ass person come from?

Called dream AU cause you teleport there in your dreams, originally was going to be self aware but I think this works better.

Something about Aeons x Reader just got me in SHAMBLES.

Using he/him pronouns for Nanook

Part 2 is out

I'd like to imagine the first time you dream that you're in HSR you appear in front of an Aeon. Not just any Aeon but Nanook. As the Antimatter Legion launches its attack on the Herta Space Station, Nanook doesn't feel the need to pay much attention. Oh there was a person with a Stellaron in them, that was unique. Nanook didn't spare them more than a glance though, they'd be destroyed soon anyway.

Then, another interesting anomaly appears. Another human, in front of him, not even floating through the space but walking through it as if it was their own backyard. A nuisance, one deliberately far away from the rest of the anti matter legion. Had you tried to escape? It didn't matter. With a simple blink you would be gone.

Yet even as he felt destruction reach out to you, it had no effect, you remained perfectly unharmed albeit confused. Then your eyes landed on him, and excitement filled your face. Excitement? You moved faster, small legs carrying you toward Nanook. Humans were pitifully small, like insects only existing to infect the world. It was his duty to remove the world of them.

Yet with all the excitement you held and the care toward a being that had just tried to destroy you, it made him pause for a moment to ponder if he was to destroy you too. Even in your most miserable moments would you be able to shine as brightly? The thought didn't stay for long, after all everything in this universe was a mistake. The universe itself should've never have been created and everything in it was as putrid as the next, only choosing to hide behind rosy colors.

Nanook nonchalantly brushed his hand to the side, hitting you with it, yet the moment it touched you his hand was unable to move any further. His gaze lowered again, resting on you. You seemed entirely undisturbed and was still looking at him in awe and wonder. He doubted you were another Aeon, you had no presence at all-- but you weren't effected by his.

Eyes full of molten lava narrowed as they focused in on you. For once, lacking the intent to harm he moved his hand to push you slightly to the side. You moved, stumbling a bit. Nanook's heart leapt a beat.

Oh. Oh. Civilization only brought war with it, as everything within the universe was a mistake. But perhaps, this was the universe's sole purpose, this being was supposed to exist. The notion sickened him, it went against his entire core. The creation of the universe was a mistake thus it must all be destroyed, it never should've happened. Maybe, another universe was supposed to be created and you were from that. A being that shouldn't and couldn't be destroyed, this was the only possibility. An anomaly in the world of mistakes.

Nanook couldn't offer to protect you, all he knew was to destroy. But he had to say something. This universe still had to be destroyed to the point nothing remained and neither Terminus nor Oroboros would have claim to it. You had to leave, before the end tried to swallow you whole. As the one being that shouldn't be destroyed he had to stop it from happening to you. Yet as he looked back nothing remained.

...So it seems you weren't entirely powerless. That was good, but it would make it more difficult for Nanook. He had to find you again, he was already racing against time.

You woke up feeling unusually tired. Must've not gotten a good night's rest, you mused to yourself. Yet you'd had a sick dream! A smile rose to your face at the thought. You'd met Nanook, the sick ass dude from Honkai Star Rail! Man, the majesty of Aeons was still portrayed in your dreams Hoyoverse's design team did such a good job! You felt so small next to him, well you were, you were about the size of his hand.

That didn't matter now though, you had work/school to get to! Places to go, people to see, things to get done! You wanted to go back to sleep.

Unfortunately, you didn't go back to sleep but on the bright side you persevered through the day! So, dragging your limbs behind you, you headed back to bed hoping to get a more restful sleep.

When you woke up, you found yourself surrounded by snow. It surrounded you like a fluffy blanket and muffled the noise around you, even with the snow you could still hear the sound of yelling. Oh neat, another hyper realistic dream. For some reason you'd always known when your dreams were dreams and you tended to dream of whatever your newest fictional obsession was.

It was nice until it wasn't. You supposed that you must've spent too much time dreaming up the fictional characters to the point you forget their original personalities. They would tend to act weird as you continued dreaming about them, which would lead you to drop the series entirely. It'd happened an unfortunate amount of times.

Hopefully, something similar wouldn't happen this time. You enjoyed these kinds of dreams where you could just observe the beauty of fiction.

You pushed yourself up from the snow, feeling your hand and feet sink slightly in the snow from the pressure you applied. If this followed the same pattern as the last dream then you were at Jarilo-VI. But where were you? There wasn't any discernible structure around you, there weren't even any fragmentum monsters. It was just snow.

Well at least you weren't able to die in your dreams. You knew that one from experience, although the experience of getting set on fire wasn't exactly pleasant. Actually it was kind of traumatizing even though it was a dream.

That being said getting dream hypothermia didn't seem pleasant so you began to wander in hopes that you would soon come across something.

To be continued when I figure out which Jarilo-VI character I want to write.

[centrally-unplanned]

I find myself interested in how ineffective integration was for Ireland vis a vis the UK in the 19th century. Certainly after 1832 voting reforms and the 1829 repeal of the ban on Catholics serving in parliament (UK-wide but ofc hitting Ireland the hardest), the Irish were at more-or-less equal footing as the English or Scots when it came to voting rights and the legal system (I think most people don't know this! They think the Irish couldn't vote in the 19th century!) And it wasn't even an "on paper" deal for voting rights, Irish were active in government (they even had Irish PMs, though ofc Protestant), by the latter half of the 19th century economic regulations were equalized, and they got within a hair's breadth of Home Rule before some munitinous unionists and WW1 got in the way. Despite the rep a lot of countries have gigantic ethnic minorities, and liberalism/equal franchise is actually pretty decent solution to that problem. Why didn't ~100 years of representation in the House of Commons, in the era when "nation building" was at its peak, not work?

From what I can tell, timing is of course part of it. At a simple level, World War One was such a nationalist godsend; it created the "radicalism cascade", a weakened center and domino revolutions inspiring everyone with a cause with a sort of temporal Schelling Point. Without it, would the 1912 Home Rule have just been implemented in due time, and Ireland would be like Scotland today? At a more structural level, the timing was particularly rough because WW1 was the tail end of the age of religion in Europe. So much of the conflict was over Protestant vs Catholic, and after WW2 if Ireland was united under one home rule government in the UK it's hard to imagine the secularizing age powering so much conflict. Had they "held on" a few more decades you could see it calming down.

I think those are true enough but you do gotta dig down to another level. "Protestant" wasn't really just a religion in Ireland - it was the Protestant Ascendancy, a ruling class of combined English settlers and converted Irish who, during the imperial era before the 19th century, built an entirely separate ruling class in Ireland. And it was a deep ruling class - Catholics were barred from voting in even the Dublin local parliament, they were banned from being judges or lawyers, inheritance law was rigged to privilege Protestant sons while converting away from the Anglican church came with property confiscations. Depending on what counts, at its peak in the 18th century up to 30% of the country had opportunistically converted, in a system rigged top to bottom against the Catholics.

Imagine for a second India was given representation in the House of Commons and given self-rule. Just ignore the distance and demography issues for now, this obviously wouldn't actually work, instead think about what that transition would look like. The British "Indian Civil Service" would have to be dismantled...which was like 10k brits vs over 100k Indians. Actual british military officers in the country in the 19th century was less than 100k - and it was a rotating duty, they didn't all live there. Dismantling that really isn't that hard! Those people just go home. The core that ruled was deeply integrated into the country, but it was tiny - the vast majority of India was ruled by Indians, in the name of the Crown. They would just...keep going but now be in parliament.

That was impossible in Ireland. Britain had actually launched one of the most intensive cultural conversion programs of a foreign nation around in the 17th and 18th centuries, it was nowhere close to the "light imperial touch" of elsewhere. But it never...worked. Instead it just built this gigantic ruling class, deeply enmeshed in both Ireland and England, completely dependent on that superiority economically, but seen as outsiders by the Catholic Irish majority. "Protestant & Catholic" is at least half a gigantic class war. And in the 19th century the UK brought "laissez faire liberalism" to Ireland and was like "look, we are equal now!" after two+ centuries of rigging the system. It was literally the "kicking out the ladder after climbing up" equality meme.

This was why Home Rule was so bitterly contested, why Protestant Anglo-Irish officers threatened to mutiny in 1912 if it was implemented. They understood that the first acts of Home Rule were going to be, essentially, reparations. Which the Irish almost surely deserved. But Imperial, Liberal, 19th Century UK was not going to give reparations to the fucking Irish, it was not ready to dismantle its dejure and defacto aristocrats in that way - or at least not until it was too late, some land reform for example did begin in 1903. Scotland didn't need it, Wales was too weak to fight it, but Ireland was in the sweet spot of being weak enough to be oppressed but strong enough to oppose it and fight back once the culture changed.

Or at least that is my current read, this is a low-confidence post. Curious to learn more!

[hamiltonaf]

Daddy’s Princess | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Dad!Kylian Mbappé x Mom!Female Reader

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Angst if you squint but mainly fluff

A/N: Hi my loves. Apologies I’ve been away for so long, I had so much going on but now I’m back. This has been in my drafts for so long, I think it came to a point where I was writing this half asleep. Not proofread, hope you babes enjoy.

Also, you’re more than welcome to send requests .xx

1 year. A year filled with ups and down, but ups for the most of it ever since giving birth to my bundle of joy, Sofia. I couldn’t believe how quickly a whole year has flew by and she’s already one.

The downside of this one year was the harsh break up between Kylian and I just a few weeks after Sophia was born. Post-partum depression was already bad, the break up just made it all worse. Everything was perfectly fine, or so I thought, Kylian was so excited for us to finally be parents and so was I. Little did I know that he wasn’t ready for the odd hours of waking up for feeding or hearing cry’s then having to wake up in a couple of hours for training, plus balancing our relationship, it was apparently all too much for him to handle so he felt the need to sacrifice our relationship to make it easier for him to focus on his career.

He was so used to being an uncle that he didn’t realise that parenting was a whole other ball game. I was willing to reason with him and do all night duties so he can sleep in but unfortunately that wasn’t good enough. Co-parenting isn’t easy.

It really sucks to co-parent because even though Kylian and I have broken up, I still have to see him every weekend when he comes over to spend time with her or he picks her up to take her out for the day. We’re civil, basically acting as if we’re friends, but who are we kidding ? Ever since Sofia was 4 months I’ve noticed Kylian being particularly nice to me, passing compliments, asking me to tag along with him when it’s his turn to spend the day with Sofia, interacting with my socials a lot more…something is cooking.

Unfortunately my pettiness is here to stay, so whenever he’s being ‘overly’ nice, I just brush it off like it’s nothing. It just bothers me that he didn’t try hard enough and think about what I was going through. It was hard when I eventually had to go to work, I was so attached to Sofia that I didn’t want to leave her but I didn’t have much of a choice. The last thing I need to hear whilst I’m depressed is that I wanted to have Kylian’s baby just to get money. Absolute nonsense.

The interesting thing is that even though Kylian isn’t with us everyday of the week 24/7, once Sofia is with her dad she doesn’t want to leave him. She’s so attached to him, funnily enough that she doesn’t even bother crying for me when I’m around.

So since she’s daddy’s little princess, Kylian insisted that we had to have a big first birthday party for her at his place. I went along with it and we both settled on a Disney princess theme.

Kylian had outdone himself, the party was as big and fancy as one would throw when they turn 16. I invited a few people from my side, majority family and a few friends.

Sophia was looking absolutely adorable in a pink puffy dress with a gold crown to top it off. I held Sophia on my hip as I greeted the guests, it’s as if Sophia has a sixth sense that she spotted Kylian approaching us from behind. She immediately started jumping and squealing, eagerly waiting for her dad to carry her. “Is that Princess Sophia ?” He said in shock. I smiled at their interaction as she nodded her head and got shy.

“Come here princess” he held his arms out for her which she happily jumped into his embrace. “My baby looks so cute. Who picked out your dress ?” He pecked her cheek. “Mama” she said as she pointed at me. My heart melted. “Who dresses you better princess ?” I wiggled my brows at her. “Mama” she admitted shyly. “You made daddy sad” he pouted as he faked a cry. Sophia falling for it, she cupped his face and kissed his nose. Catching us both off guard, Kylian and I burst out laughing. “Bubs you’re too cute” I said as I cupped her cheeks with one hand and kissed her cheek. “Doesn’t mama look so beautiful” he said as he looked at Sophia. I suddenly froze. Was not expecting that.

“That’s because mama is a princess” she smiled. “Awww my little pumpkin pie, give mama a kiss” I leaned in and pouted at her, which she gave me a kiss. “Does dad get a kiss from mama too ?” He playfully asked. I gave him a side-eye. Just then our interaction was disrupted when someone hugged be from behind, catching me by surprise. “Darling” a familiar voice said. I turned around and was met by my work friend, Nate. “Oh my god ! Nate ! I’m so glad you could make it” I said as I pulled him in for a hug. Nate is a good friend of mine from work. I believe the crucial thing to mention here is that Nate has a girlfriend, whom which I’m very good friends with as well, unfortunately she couldn’t make it since she was away on a work trip… life of a model.

Kylian hasn’t met him or heard of him up until now. “Nate, I’d like you to meet Kylian, Sophia’s dad and my little princess, Sophia !” I introduced them. “Pleasure to meet you” they shook hands but Kylian didn’t look too pleased. “And look at this girl, beautiful like her mum” he cooed at Sophia. “So I’ve been told” I said proudly. Sophia got shy and cuddled up closer to Kylian. “Anyway let me not take up too much of your time. I’ll meet with the others in the mean time” Nate said with a soft smile and excused himself. It was so obvious that the energy changed in the air, well for me at least.

“I can’t believe you did that” Kylian said. “Excuse me ? Did what ?” I raised a brow in confusion. “Do you really think this is the time and place to bring a lover of yours ? That too to introduce our daughter to ?” He lowered his voice just so I could hear him. “What the…are you okay ? If you don’t know what’s going on, then don’t give me your 2 cents !” I said back. “I know exactly what’s going on. I’m not stupid. Keep him away from Sophia.”

“I- you know what… believe what you want” I rolled my eyes at him. “Let’s go bub” I said as I held my arms out for her. She happily obliged to jump into my arms as we walked away. I can’t believe he got so jealous.

I ended up getting caught up in a conversation with my mum and Fayza, mainly because I had their granddaughter in my arms. I was baffled mid conversation when the topic of discussion was about having another child. Did Kylian not tell them about our break up or are they assuming we’re back together. I didn’t even bother arguing with them to avoid any further drama.

Kylian took me by surprise when he took the initiative to be the MC. Everyone had dropped their conversations to go get seated, while I had to go stand beside Kylian since I had Sophia with me. “Hello everyone and welcome to my baby’s first birthday !” Kylian announced as everyone erupted into cheers, Sophia had joined everyone as she clapped along, making us giggle and look at her in awe.

“This party would not have been possible without you all so thank you to every one of you for coming” he paused as everyone started clapping. He then glanced at me for a brief second before placing a hand on my back and pulling me to stand closer to him. “This party would also not be possible without my (Y/N), who has given me the greatest blessing of being a father. I will forever be thankful for all that you did and continue to do. Thank you for also shaping me into being a better version of myself. Lastly, thank you for helping me out and telling me what Sophia needs when she’s crying” everyone had burst into laughter at his last line.

“So a round of applause for (Y/N) !” He yelled as everyone followed by cheering. He then turned to look at me as he pulled me in for a hug. My heart had completed melted at his speech. More especially when he referred to me as my (Y/N). He released from our hug and kissed my cheek. It’s as if we forgot that we had Sophia in between us, it was only until she said “I love you mama” and kissed my other cheek that I snapped back into reality. “I love you more bubba” I smiled and kissed her cheek.

We then sang for her and cut her cake before everyone was free to mingle and eat. Sophia was actually starting to get crabby I guess with all the attention she was itching to play with the other kids so I accompanied her on the jumping castle. Low-key reliving my childhood through Sophia.

Nate then caught me by surprise when he joined us on the jumping castle, we were laughing more than talking. I guess our laugh was that loud that it caught Kylian’s attention. “Dada jump !” Sophia squealed as soon as she saw Kylian make his way towards us.

She quickly lost interest in jumping in these few minutes that she sprinted into her dads arms. “Tired bubs ?” He asked her softly as she cradled her face into his neck. She shook her head. “Do you want your bottle ?” He asked. She nodded her head. He then gave me a glance as a sign of help. I quickly said goodbye to Nate to help Kylian out.

“Wanna come by mama ?” I cooed. She shook her head as if I was a stranger. I gasped in shock. “You just broke mama’s heart” I faked a cry. Sophia actually started giggling. As we were walking into the house, both our mums spotted us walking together. “Aww where are you taking our baby ?” Fayza cooed. “She’s hungry, (Y/N/N) and I will take care of her” Kylian said. Both of our mums shared a look before moving out of our way.

Once we were inside, it was total peace and silence. Just the three of us, with of course the party happening being a soft background noise. Kylian sat her on the kitchen counter top and was about to make her bottle but I stopped him. “Watch her..I’ll do it” I said with a soft smile. He then kept her occupied by making small talk with her and played a game.

It didn’t take me long to make her bottle. After testing to see if the temperature was fine, I shook the bottle in front of her to see her reaction. “Who do you want to feed you ?” I playfully asked. “Mama !” She squealed. “Now you’re leaving dada for mama ?” Kylian acted offended and faked a cry. In the cutest way possible, she covered her eyes with her tiny hands and the cutest smile on her face. I cradled her in my arms and walked over to the couch to sit down. She held her own bottle and got distracted when Kylian started making faces at her. “Oii stop it” I joked. He then sat down beside me. “Is it a good time to talk now ?” He asked curiously. “Depends on what the topic is” I said as I glanced over.

“It’s about us” he hesitantly answered. I remained silent for a while before speaking up, “Not the perfect timing but I can’t run away from this so you might as well just be frank” I shrugged. “I feel terrible ever since I left you and Soph. It was wrong of me to let you take care of her on your own when you needed me the most. Spending time with the both of you in these last few months have shown what I was missing out on this whole time. I want to be with you every step of the way to take care and watch our little princess grow” he said. I was left speechless. “I know it’s a lot right now, but I obviously wouldn’t have dropped this on you if our feelings weren’t mutual” he smiled softly. “How do you know our feelings are mutual ?” I raised a brow.

“I notice the little things, when you get flustered after I compliment you. Especially earlier when I asked for a kiss until that idiot ruined our moment” he said annoyed. “Wait wait… is this about Nate ?” I furrowed my brows. “No !” He scoffed. “Oh my god. It is ! You’re jealous of him aren’t you ?” I started giggling. “What ? Me.. jealous ? No” he laughed. “Ky, I just know when you’re lying” I shook my head trying to fight back a smile. Sophia finished her bottle and handed it over to me. I then held her upright against my chest to rub her back. “Okay fine. I was triggered to do this sooner. I’ll forever hate myself if I didn’t try to make things right with you. I don’t want to lose my girls. I’ve always loved you and never stopped loving you”

I was taken aback by everything he said. “Why didn’t you come back then ?” I asked. “Because I figured you wouldn’t want me back so soon after I what I did. You didn’t deserve that and I thought I didn’t deserve you, but I couldn’t let you go.. after all I’m still in love with you. So I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and allow me to have a second chance” he said hopeful. I sighed. “You’re making this harder because I literally see Sophia’s face when you look like that” he broke into a smile. Speaking of Sophia, she fell off to sleep. Sleeping beauty. “You’re lucky you’re her dad” I smiled.

“So you forgive me ?” He broke into a smile. I nodded my head. He was about to make noise until I shushed him and pointed at Sophia. “Oh sorry” he said in a hushed tone. He then pecked Sophia’s forehead then looked at me. “What ?” I asked confused. “You didn’t answer my question from earlier” he grinned. “Which was ?” I raised a brow. “Can daddy get a kiss too ?” He wiggled his brows. “I’m feeling petty so not right now” I grinned. “Ahh chérie just one” he pouted. “Later Kyky” I said as I stood up. He then took Sophia from my arms and carried her. “I think I’ve been tortured enough by how you look every time I see you” he pouted. “Nice try” I then surprised him by pecking his lips. “That was too short” he pouted.

[gvcci-bxby]

hii ! can i request aonung x reader ? where the readers lo’ak’s twin ?? i dont really have an idea but i think aonung x lo’aks twin reader would be cool

YOUR BROTHER'S ENEMY

pairing: aonung x omatikaya/lo'aks twin!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none tbh, just lo'ak tryna be protective, also not spellchecked (ill do it later lol)

author's note: omg I loooooved this request. I hope I did it justice!

You sit on the jagged rocks of the Metkayina territory, watching your friends and siblings play and tease each other on the shore and in the ocean water. Your siblings Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Tuk tustled and teased each other with your friends Tsierya and Rotxo. They yelled and hollered, expressing their happiness to be excused from chores, duties or training and be able to have a little fun with each other. 

Next to you, your sister Kiri used her nimble fingers to weave a new top for herself. You felt like observing today so you opted to keep your sister company while she worked on her weaving and sat on the shore. The sun shines bright, a warm breeze passing by every now and then. It was a lovely day, and you were thoroughly amused by watching your family and friends play together. 

You sit in peace until a figure appears next to Kiri, causing a dark shadow to cast across you, fully blocking you from the sun. You turn your head to look up and you see that its Aonung. At the sight of him you blush. 

“Hello, Aonung,” you say, glancing away to look out at your friends splashing about in the ocean. Aonung smiles, watching your cheeks ignite with a light flush. “Hello, y/n; why aren’t you in the water too?” 

You shrug, gesturing towards your older sister Kiri. “Someone had to keep Kiri company while she weaves.” 

Kiri rolls her eyes, knowing that your coyness is due to your budding affection for Aonung. Aonung walks around you and your sister, placing himself beside you on the rocks. Your breath hitches, the close proximity to Aonung making you nervous. Ao’nung leans towards you, his arms brushing against yours. You feel your anxiety reach its peak, but you try to hide it as best as you can. “Why don’t you go in the water, Aonung?” you ask now that he’s nestled in beside you. 

Aonung glaces at you. “Why would I go into the water if you aren’t there too?” 

Before you could respond, Kiri makes a gagging noise, inching herself away from you and Aonung. “You guys are so gross.” She mutters, shaking her head. You and Aonung laugh, both amused and embarrassed by your sister’s comment. 

From the ocean, however, your twin brother Lo’ak fumes as he watches Aonung seat himself next to you and subsequently laugh with you. While his relationship with Aonung has become better, more civil, he still wants Aonung far away from his twin sister. 

“Bro,” Neteyam says, pointing the group’s makeshift ball towards Lo’ak. “Catch this!” But Lo’ak was too occupied with stalking towards the oceans shore, where you and Aonung sit. 

You knew that Aonung and your twin brother Lo’ak had issues, in fact you’ve bear witness to their rivalry many times, but you believed that things were calmer, and their relationship was turning more positive now that your family had settled into the Metkayina village and their way of life. However, you were also aware that Lo’ak didn’t like you hanging around Aonung. 

“Oh no,” you mutter, as you see Lo’ak approaching you, Aonung and Kiri where you sit on the rocks. Beside you, Kiri peeks up and notices her brother coming her way too. Her eyes flicker down as she prepares to pretend she doesn’t exist, so she doesn’t have to interact with her upset brother and foolish, lovesick sister. 

“You,” Lo’ak yells, pointing at Aonung. “Need to stay away from my sister.” 

Your stomach twists into a knot as you prepare yourself for a very public showdown between your brother, yourself, and Aonung. Aonung tenses next to you, rising from his seat to confront your angry brother. 

“Lo’ak, calm down.” You say, also rising from your seat. “There’s no need to be angry.”

“There is a reason to be angry when someone like Aonung is trying to make a pass on my twin sister.” Lo’ak yells back, still stalking forward. In several steps he meets Aonung, chest to chest. 

You’re quick to intervene, wedging yourself in between the two boys. “Lo’ak, stop it. We were just talking.” You say, a hand on both Lo’ak and Aonung’s chest. Now, your other siblings and friends watch from their spots in the water with bated breath, hoping a physical altercation doesn’t ensue, again. 

You begin to push your brother back, letting go from Aonung. You pass a glance at Aonung who meets your eye. “Sorry,” you whisper, pushing your brother back further and further. “Lo’ak, let’s go.” You mutter to Lo’ak, grasping his arm. Quickly, Lo’ak flips, grasping your bicep and tugging you off the beach. 

“Don’t talk to him again,” Lo’ak says firmly, guiding you off the sandy beach and back into the village. You sigh, glancing back to look at Aonung who stands alone in the middle of the beach and your other siblings in friends who are making their way onto the sand from the water. 

You struggle against Lo’ak’s grip, your emotions raging at your twin’s behavior. The day had started out so smoothly, the weather was great, and emotions were happy. Aonung joining you on the rocks only illuminated your feelings, glad to be able to spend time with him and be in presence. Then, Lo’ak had to go and ruin everything. 

--- 

It’s been a day since the incident between Lo’ak and Aonung and to everyone’s amusement, you still haven’t spoken a word to Lo’ak. Your parents, Jake and Neytiri have taken notice as you and your twin normally get along well. They’ve decided to let the two of you parse out your feelings, whenever those rise to the surface, and stay out of it. Although Kiri hardly approves of your affection for Aonung, she attempts to provide comfort to you, mentioning how Aonung spoke about how he wished to spend more time with you. This made you feel better, knowing that Aonung missed you, but that dwindle when you realized you would never be able to spend time with him when Lo’ak always had his eye on you. 

Now, you sat in your room, sulking, when Lo’ak entered your room. “Can we talk?” Lo’ak says, setting his bow and arrows down. “I don’t like it when we’re mad at each other.”

You say nothing, turning your body away from your brother who seats himself on you bed. Lo’ak’s tail flicks behind him and he knows that you are mad at him for his actions towards Aonung. He didn’t expect you to understand his issues between Aonung and him, but he did expect you to be on his side, regardless of your understanding. “Y/n, please.” Lo’ak says, scooting himself closer to you. 

“What is there to talk about, Lo’ak? You embarssed me in front of Aonung and everyone yesterday.” 

Lo’ak sighed, looking down at the floor. “Aonung is not a good person, y/n. His actions against me prove that.” 

You toss a glance at Lo’ak, a little sarcastic laugh. “And you haven’t been just as cruel to him?” 

Lo’ak hisses, his emotions getting the best of him. “Sister, I don’t expect you to understand but I expect that you stay away from him because of what he’s done to me and our family.” 

You gasp, your tail flicking with anger. “No, while Aonung and you have had your problems, Aonung and his sister, their entire family, has done their best to welcome us to their clan.” You say, your voice rising with every word. “And I think what you have to do is get over whatever happened and move on. I want to be able to spend time with Aonung without you breathing over my shoulder.” 

Lo’ak fliches at your words and as he opens his mouth to respond, you beat him to it. “I think you should leave.” You say to your twin, annoyed by his presence. Lo’ak listens, taking steps to leave your room. 

Several hours later, you walk through the village bringing fish and other foods that you acquired back home. You walk on the path towards your family’s home, balancing the large basket of food in between your arms. 

“Let me help you,” A voice says next to you. You look over and see that it’s Aonung prying the large basket from your hands. You blush, allowing him to alleviate the weight you’ve been carrying. 

“I’m sorry about my brother yesterday,” You say, feeling the need to apologize. 

“Ah,” Aonung says. “He still doesn’t seem to like me very much.” 

You laugh, “Lo’ak is unreasonable and stubborn sometimes. I think he’ll come around some day.” 

“I hope so,” Aonung says, glancing down at you. “I’d like to take you out sometime without being in fear of my life.” 

You blush at his comment. “I’d like that too.” 

You reach your house shortly, and Aonung drops the basket at your front door. You expected Aonung to quickly walk away, afraid of Lo’ak spying him from inside the house. Instead, Aonung stands idle, glancing at you. “Would you want to sneak away later tonight, with me, to hang out for a while?” Aonung says hesitantly.

Too quickly, you say, “Yes, I’d love to. Where should I meet you?” 

“Where the village meets the forest, maybe around dusk?” 

You nod, a big smile across your face. “Okay, I’ll meet you there.” You walked through the threshold of the door, lugging the basket into the house. Tuk is quick to come over, inspecting the food you brought back home. Already, your stomach tingled with anticipation over then evening that’s to come. 

At dusk, around nine, you sneak away from your home while the rest of your family begins to wind down. Thankfully, you feel as though your family won’t notice your absence as they are all wrapped up in their various activities. You slink away, weaving through the homes, towards the back of the village. Your hands were slick with nervousness and excitement, your tail twirling with eagerness to see Aonung again. 

Once you reach the treeline, you see Aonung sitting on a large boulder. Once you reach him, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, letting his large harms wrap around your waist. It had been a long time since you had been able to be alone with Aonung like this and be able to show physical affection. “I was hoping you didn’t get caught by your parents.” Aonung says

You shake your head. “I’m better at sneaking away then you think.”

Aonung laughs, and you begin to walk deeper into the forest. You converse with each other, catching up on how Aonung is doing with training under his father and his excitement for the future in a leadership position once his father allows him to. Aonung asks about you too and you fill him in on things that he’s missed hearing about. 

You and Aonung are deep in conversation as you walk through the trees, too deep to realize that Lo’ak has been following you the entire time. Lo’ak noticed you sneak out of the front door, knowing that you sneaking away was most likely to see Aonung. 

“Aonung,” Lo’ak yells again. “I thought I told you to stay away from my sister!” 

You turn quickly around to see that Lo’ak was approaching you from behind, and you sigh, not surprised that he had been following you. Aonung turns around, too, putting his hands up in defense.  “Lo’ak, let’s talk this out.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, bro. I told you to stay away from y/n and here you are, sneaking away with her after curfew.” Lo’ak says, angrily. 

“Lo’ak..” you say, your voice trailing off. 

“Lo’ak, I’m not going to hurt your sister; I really like her. I’d love nothing more then to move past all the issues we’ve had between us so that you can see that I really do care for your sister.” Aonung says, in a calm tone.  You are surprised by Aonung’s calm tone and admire his strength to go up against your irrational twin brother. 

Lo’ak crosses his arms, his eyes narrowing and flicking between you and Aonung. Lo’ak’s chest rises with each breath, and you can tell he’s considering Aonung’s words. 

“If you hurt my sister as much as one time, you’re dead. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak says, after a moment. You smile knowing that Lo’ak is finally seeing Aonung’s genuine intentions and will finally leave you alone. You also smile because the way Lo’ak threatens Aonung sounds so much like your father, Jake. 

Aonung laughs, nodding. “I understand you.” 

Lo’ak backs up, stepping away from you. With one last look between you and Aonung, he turns and walks away. You let your breath out that you’ve been holding since Lo’ak approached you out of nowhere. 

Aonung turns towards you, as he still laughs shaking his head. “Your brother is something else.” 

You laugh too. “He’s just protective of his sisters.”

Aonung reaches out, letting his fingers brush your cheek. “I’m fine with that; I’m just glad I can finally do this.” Aonung brings you close by your hips, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips. Your skin sizzles with excitement, a blush creeping across your whole body. 

You are pleased that now you can be free to hang around Aonung without fear and that your twin brother, Lo’ak, is finally being rational. 

[smitethestate]

"If voting was worthless they wouldn't be trying to make it harder."

"If voting worked they'd make it illegal."

Okay these are both fun slogans but let's talk about what really happened here in the US.

First they made it so only white landowning men could vote. Then over the years other groups of people kept fighting for the right to vote and winning and the white landowning men were like "fuck well we can't defeat the masses outright on this so we'll just make a bunch of rules that make it hard for them to vote." And the oppressed masses fought against those too and won a bunch of gains on the issue like the Civil Rights Act.

So the powerful learned from their mistakes and made other, more subtle rules to make it harder to vote as the two parties battled back and forth to win the most power and influence and corporate donor money.

Republicans fought by making it as hard as possible to vote because they tend to win when less people vote, and especially when only the privileged with a lot of money and free time can manage it.

Democrats fought by trying to get more people to vote, but it's a bit more complicated than that. They're still beholden to wealthy corporate donors, so they can't just let pure democracy happen. They can't let real leftists become presidential nominees or allow real leftist policy like universal healthcare to pass. What they can do is convince you over and over to vote for the "reasonable" option under threat of Republican Hell so that you not only give them more power, but hand over your money and your time/energy to convince other people to give them more power and money.

Republicans benefit from the same kind of threat to their constituents, even as they're more blatant in their fight to stop people from voting.

The result is a system in which both the statements at the top of this post are true. If our voting system threatened to turn the US into a socialist utopia where the masses had all the power, they'd make it illegal. Democrats have never made a serious move to abolish the Electoral College. They absolutely mobilized to prevent even Bernie from becoming the Dem nominee. They'd do it again.

And you can see the same patterns in similar nations. Labor gained power in the UK only to become an anti-labor neoliberal party practically overnight. France elected a leftist government and Macron just went "nope."

But they're never going to make voting all the way illegal for just landowning men again, let alone make it outright illegal, because they know that would inspire the masses to rise up and make too much trouble again, and who knows what they'd lose? The current situation is working out great for them.

Meanwhile, of course Republicans want to make voting a certain amount of hard because they do want the most power, but even Trump probably knows better than to outlaw voting. At most he'd turn the US into a sham democracy like his idol Putin.

Which would of course suck, but the point it that the two statements up top are both essentially true but reductive.

Voting isn't worthless but those in power are never going to let us vote our was into a society that removes or even significantly reduces their power. You can maybe make things temporarily a little better or prevent them from getting worse for some people by voting.

But the problem is that people aren't just voting. They're voting and then telling themselves that they did their duty and using that as an excuse to do nothing else. Or they're voting and donating millions to Kamala in mere hours while GFMs for Palestinians and other desperate people stagnate. Or they're voting and giving all their attention, energy, and time to the two big party presidential candidates by volunteering or yelling at people on social media or both so all the money and power is funneled back into those who already have nearly all of it.

And nothing is left to actually fight for a better world.

I don't care to tell people whether to vote or how. It feels to me like a choice between a fast death or a slow one, which sucks either way. What pisses me off is that we're letting the powerful convince us to invest so much in them with this perpetual election season as the world circles the drain, and the most powerful know full well that this leaves us with too few resources to ever topple them from their thrones.

You're letting them pull your strings instead of breaking them. Things get worse every year and the longer we do this, the worse it's going to be for us all, and worse still for future generations. How long are you going to fight to slow down the train that's headed for the cliff instead of jumping off it while there's still time?

Don't scold me about voting on behalf of the train conductors hoarding all the train food. It's not a perfect metaphor ok but the point is fuck off and fuck this.