#just boost posts if i think it is with the right intention + active harm involved
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Please stop sending me asks to use me as a speaker box 🫶 I do not want to ignore problems on simblr obviously, but I don't want to be used as an echo chamber about things I have no knowledge about. I'd rather see something for myself first than make a post that could end up being wrong or hurting someone. There's going to be people on here who are just vindictive so I don't want to risk being part of that.
#puffer talks#just over the past few days#i don't want to be apart of chain mail asks#if you're letting me know privately about someone who is causing active harm that is one thing#so i can just unfollow#but im not going to post these anymore#just boost posts if i think it is with the right intention + active harm involved#also prevents me from speaking over people
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End OTW Racism Link Round-up: Week 2!
Our first (hopefully of many) two-week #EndOTWRacism action is over! Check out our post on next steps and how to stay involved if you haven’t already.
Just like our first week link round-up, here’s a collection of some of the longer-form discussion/analysis that people shared in week two (we're going with posts on tumblr, dreamwidth, and other sites, as well as twitter threads that are longer than three tweets). These are posts that we think would be helpful to consider as fandom engages in the necessary conversations about these issues.
Note: There has been a plethora of information that’s come out about OTW in the past week, particularly from former and current volunteers, which calls into question the way the organization functions and details the harm they have done to their own volunteers. Much of it does not directly reference our campaign or racism, so we won’t be sharing all of that conversation here, but you can find a round-up of that conversation at the dreamwidth account synonymous.
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seepunkrun: I haven’t heard back from the OTW on this yet. In fact, I’m still waiting for a reply to the last letter I sent them on this subject. That’s why I’m glad to see increased transparency included in @end-otw-racism’s list of demands [link]
wondersmith-and-sons: if we're gonna be frank about otw's "anti-racism policies"/hiring of diversity consultants/attempt for social change, i'm gonna say that my good faith in them has run out a while ago and that i genuinely don't think they ever had the intention to follow through on tackling racial abuse, like, ever. [link]
elumish: In response to criticism about EndOTWRacism (part 2): one of the main questions that I see a lot about stuff like this is, how do we write policy to keep there it from backfiring or being used for purges? [link]
princeescaluswords: Activism Isn’t a Raincoat [link]
massharp1971: The right want free speech, but only for themselves [link]
Twitter
tea_deviation: this is even further off topic, but I was doing the math here and it boggles my fucking mind that ao3 is not driving towards being endowment funded? [link]
fiercynonym: i mentioned, as an aside in my thread about how OTW appears to have $2.5 MILLION that they are spending on absolutely nothing, that francesca coppa received a fan studies grant from OTW once, but i want to talk about that specific piece a little more [link]
generalfrings: For all the disingenuous raising of "concerns" at #EndOTWRacism over hypothetical volunteers that would hypothetically handle racists in AO3 (+ the dismissal of the real current harm on poc and black fans), I want to see some response for OTW actually traumatizing real volunteers [link]
_impertinence: #EndOTWRacism the way chinese fans have been sidelined and belittled by the org is so fucking disgusting [link]
hydrochaeris3: ok full disclosure this came about bc i was thinking about why i havent seen people be "pro worker" (or in the otw/ao3's case "pro volunteer") more in response to the endotwracism campaign. bc in most leftist circles ik that ppl would use workers rights arguments to push back on [link]
saathi1013: If it's anything I've learned from contemporary activism it's this: it's never "just" racism. [link]
cyrilapologist: worth considering that end otw racism is also a labor issue [link]
hydrochaeris3: stalking IS bad but i do think it's real funny that so many bnfs are coming out of the woodwork to say smthn about how upsetting it is that this white person got stalked instead of literally anything for #EndOTWRacism for the last two whole weeks [link]
aral_was_here: I'm going to keep the pfp and account name for a bit because I'm feeling pissed about how #EndOTWRacism has been dismissed by so many fans as virtue signaling or as a smokescreen for certain people they see as fandom boogeymen lying in wait to take our porn at a moment's notice. [link]
Dreamwidth
beatrice_otter: Signal boost: "Be more democratic, be more autocratic, OTW", by chestnut_pod (with background & highlights) [link]
wistfuljane: Mythical Dragons & Wild Unicorns: A Decade Later [link]
naye: The Glorious 25th of May - #EndOTWRacism [link]
naye: OTW needs a lot more transforming [link]
Other sites
enk-dash-one at fandom.ink: 1/3 Fellow white people, I encourage you to read this thread first: Then, I'd like to add, speaking exclusively to fellow white people who are worried about this: we are already racist. [link]
Klaudiasays on TikTok: let's get #EndOTWRacism trending [link]
Stitch for Teen Vogue: As #EndOTWRacism Fights for AO3 Policy Changes, Fandom Racism Bubbles to the Surface [link]
We'd love for folks to keep discussing the issues raised during this action! We organizers are probably going to go quiet for a little while to gather ourselves and work on moving forward, but if you send us posts by submitting to our tumblr, tweeting at us, messaging us on dreamwidth, or emailing us at endotwracism [at] gmail [dot], we will consider linking or posting them. We do reserve the right to only share posts that are in line with the intent of the campaign and that we believe are adding to the conversation.
#end otw racism#racism in fandom#ao3#otw#organization for transformative works#archive of our own#fandom racism#endotwracism#link round up
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CEASEFIRE and end occupation NOW.
I have been super active on TikTok, but just realized I haven't posted anything about this here. So to anyone reading this: hi, hello using my hella old tumblr to share some links/helpful resources with you.
We recently were made known of the atrocious terrorist attack at the rave held near the Kibbutz Re'Im. We mourn those deaths.
However, the genocide against Palestinians in Gaza that Israel the Zionist ethnostate has unleashed is not the answer. I will not stand by and witness with horror a genocide via my mobile when I can at the very least spread awareness of the horrific 75+yr long occupation Palestinians have endured plus the countless war crimes they've undergone this week alone. If you're anything like me, you are most likely aware of what's going on in Gaza right now, and it's been absolutely heartbreaking.
A few things first:
Zionism is not Judaism. Judaism is an Abrahamic religion. Zionism is a harmful POLITICAL ideology that is eerily similar to that of the Third Reich's, built off white supremacy and colonialism. Many Jews around the globe do NOT condone Zionism as it is morally reprehensible, and to those that are religious, it is also sacrilegious (Jews, according to their teachings, should not create an Israel without the coming of the Messiah first).
Palestine has no army so in essence, this is not a war. Media will insidiously try to make you think otherwise, but the facts speak for themselves. One country easily cut off water, food, electricity, and humanitarian aid from the other. They gave 1.1M people a mere 24hrs to move from north Gaza to the south (a war crime, may I add), and then bombed the border with Egypt. Not to mention that they've detonated more than 6,000 bombs on these people in the span of DAYS. Israel has also used white phosphorus munitions (another war crime). The other side, which consists of 50% children, is literally just trying to survive another day. This is not a war, this is genocide.
I could literally write a thesis on this, but I digress, I am here to give you ideas on how to help in stopping this madness.
1. Educate yourself. The more you'll learn, the more you'll be horrified, heartbroken, and enraged. Yes, but it's important that we know why this is the way it is now.
Download TikTok, and check out these creators:
Many booktokkers have also created slideshows of book recommendations of Palestinian authors as well as books on the history of this land and the history of this conflict. Recently, I've been reading 'The Holocaust Industry' by Norman Finkelstein. Eye-opening.
Remember, you can always check out books and audiobooks from your public library (use the Libby app) ...or get these through other means, iykyk.
2. Spread information. Boost, post, repost, tweet/re-tweet if you're on x, comment, like. It may feel like you're doing nothing, but no, don't be deceived. Solidarity works. Our collective voice cannot be silenced. By the way, if you want to see firsthand what's happening, subscribe to Eye on Palestine via Telegram.
3. Be careful of propaganda... The way things are worded, the intentional censure of voices in mass media. Heck, even Genocide Biden lied to our faces. Learn to take note of it, become aware, and choose not to buy into the bs.
4. Call / email your reps. The Jewish Voice for Peace has scripts you can use to pressure your reps into calling for a ceasefire. Do this as much as possible, daily is best.
5. Join protests. Be safe. Some tips here.
6. And if you can, donate. Consider giving to the PCRF (Palestinian Children's Relief Fund).
Be resilient, stay persistent.
Palestine will be free.
#israel is a terror*st genoc*dal settler colony masquerading as a state - hellbent on destruction ..including their own#you may try to censør us but we the people refuse to be silenced#free palestine#free us ALL
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hopefully this gets sent through, but i just wanna rant rq. sometimes it gets even hard for me as a black girl to even post awareness post on my instagram stories or twitter. at first i used to spam my shit but that was only because i was so desensitized to trauma porn. whenever i go on social media platforms now i can barely watch through videos of ppl bringing awareness (to bipoc and poc videos/photos) like i would like it bc i wanna boost the algorithm but like other than that i cant bare to watch or read it. and i’ve been hearing a lot of bipoc and poc creators on tiktok are getting tagged in really graphic and trusmatizing post by white “allies/liberals” who say that they should speak on it which is totally insensitive and tone deaf. everyday it feels like these awareness post, esp the ones by white ppl feels more like a trend and not from the kindness of their heart. and no this isn’t hate towards white ppl, it’s just some criticism since a lot of them who claim they support, black, indeginous ppls and other poc fail to realize that what they do/say and or post could be harmful. if any allies are reading this please think before you post videos of ppl getting k*lled, beaten or assulted in anyway (and even memes, or “funny tweets”). listen to the ppl who are apart of the groups/communities impacted to effectively and efficiently be there for them without causing unintentional harm.
*again...this is not hate towards white people in any way shape or form. this is just the reality of the things that take place when it comes to activism, from a black persons perspective*
i definitely think that white allies/liberals/progressives can and do at times, do more harm than good. and while some of them may have the right intentions, it’s hard to speak for all of them bc some may and do actually have the motives of seeing people outraged and upset and devastated. it’s like some of them crave a revolution if that makes any sense. and from my perspective, being a black girl as well, all of it has come to the head of being pandering. like stop pushing and cramming all of this pain and injustice that has been directed at the black community, my community, down my throat to make sure everyone knows you’re not racist or ignorant. like i’m living in a black body, and i’m constantly watching the news and am on social media. i’m very aware of what’s going on...so stop forcing it onto me like i need anymore of my being to be invaded with this shit. and i think this speaks largely to human nature to some extent. like people tend to offer help or support to someone, saying “whatever you need”. then when you tell them what you need...they try to find other ways to help you, the way they want, not even going with what you specifically stated that you needed. and it’s the same way with so many “activists” or “allies. i’m sorry to say it, but a prime example would be Demi Lovato. just saying. there’s so much more i could say on the matter but i definitely understand and agree with what you’re saying girlie❤️
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okay @themountainsays I’m more awake now and can write the thing. The thing being my tags regarding this post by @hella-amberpricefield about Anna leaping from the collapsing dam in Frozen 2 and being caught on the other side by Lt. Matthias
I think there’s something significant about how it’s Lt. Matthias who catches Anna, and not Kristoff. I wouldn’t say I have a ‘correct’ answer as to why that is, but narratively speaking, I DO think it’s intentional that it was Lt. Matthias
To be fair, he was right there. The last thing we see Matthias do is rescue a fellow soldier from being crushed by the thrown rocks, which actually puts him marginally closer to the dam than it did when he was banging his shield. In comparison, Kristoff is left off screen needing to find a way up to Anna after boosting her onto the ledge level with the dam. She has a full (though brief) conversation with Lt. Matthias, THEN runs onto the dam itself, then it starts breaking, and then she jumps. This, by the way, takes 1m35s in the movie: from when Anna reaches to top of the ledge, converses, rushes past Lt. Matthias onto the dam, and is then successfully rescued and pulled to safety. We have no way of knowing how difficult the terrain was to navigate, or what Kristoff and Sven had to do to reach Anna in time but...
But it’s also... irrelevant. Because if the writers had wanted Kristoff to be the one catching Anna then they would have just done it. We would have accepted the fact that he’d found a way up in time to save her. In fact you could easily argue that it would have made MORE SENSE for Kristoff to save her because it could have culminated into this moment of, “I’m here for you, I’ve got you, you can lean on and trust me,” and then later on, the proposal would have had an even deeper meaning to it. He already had the, “I’m here, what do you need?” line from before and then he has the, “My love is not fragile” line like - I find it very clear that they wanted Kristoff to be putting Anna’s needs and wants above his own when it mattered most, regardless of his own insecurities and fears.
I can see an alternate scene in my head where Kristoff is the one whose hand saves her and Lt. Matthias is secondary, helping pull her up into Kristoff’s secure embrace. In fact it’s so easy to imagine it, that I think people forget that it WASN’T Kristoff at all!
So why is it Lt. Matthias?
Could be a couple of reasons
For starters, he is (or was) the Captain of the Guard for Arendelle. It’s literally his job to protect Arendellian Royalty and the town itself. In his failure to protect King Runeard the day of the betrayal (not that he knew it was Runeard’s fault) and being uncertain of Prince Agnarr’s location post-fight, his mission became the abstraction of “Arendelle” as a whole, which can I think fairly be summed up as his troops and the dam. To him the dam symbolizes the protection of Arendelle, so damage to the dam is damage to his purpose, the thing that has kept him going for 30 years. When Anna requests that one of these things be taken from him too, he’s understandably distraught. He questions her information (though just as easily accepts Anna’s “my sister [the queen] gave her life for the truth [which puts me in charge by default]” which... sure okay, the plot’s gotta keep pace, we DO have Earth Giants inbound). Saving Anna from falling re-establishes Lt. Matthias’ role as a protecter of the living Arendelle; not the past, not the symbol, but the present and the TRUTH
Also, Lt. Matthias could be interpreted as one of the last remaining personifications of Old Arendelle. Of Runeard’s Arendelle. He is quite literally the last person that needs to be convinced of Runeard’s selfish and horrendous acts against the Northuldra. Old Arendelle physically stands in front of Anna as her final barrier to “fixing the past”
There’s a lot going on here! There’s informational conflict, there’s loyalty conflict, there’s rank and power conflict, there’s personal bias conflict, there’s lived experience and just plain age conflict, there’s generational conflict, LIKE?!?!
It’s literally a conversation that stuffs,
“What you believe is painfully wrong but you didn’t know,”
and,
“This new information is correct, comes at great sacrificial cost, and damages what you know about yourself and your country,”
and,
“I need you to reconcile this and the last 30 years of belief ASAP because that dam needs to come down NOW”
into 55 seconds. ANYONE would have some strong feelings about that xD
But you know what? Shout out to Matthias, because he not only decides to believe Anna, but to facilitate the destruction of the dam (WHICH HE WAS GOING TO STOP HER FROM DOING, may I remind y’all), FASTER, by personally getting the giants’ attention
It is significant that Lt. Matthias catches Anna because it is literally the past reaching out to the present in order to seek the future. It is the past obliterating itself to clutch tightly to the present, hoping for a better tomorrow. Lt. Matthias makes the difficult choice to ACT in the face of his country’s wrong-doing by physically grasping the future of Arendelle by the hand so as to not drown in the mistakes of the past
Kristoff saving Anna removes all of that context and subtextual weight, and I for one and so SO glad that it is not Kristoff who saves Anna. It’s not that, as a character, Kristoff doesn’t deserve to save the love of his life, it’s what we’d expect, actually
But it’s not. It’s Lt. Matthias. It’s the old guard, the father figure, the proud and the traditional
The man who says to do the Next Right Thing
Even when it’s hard. Even when you may not have all the facts. Even when the facts fly in the face of everything you thought was true
When you see the future struggling to escape the flood of the past, of mistakes and lies, and what might feel like an impossible weight to overcome... make the choice. Act
Lt. Matthias, in a few short moments, shows that: he acknowledges Arendelle’s dark past, acknowledges the part he played in it (both in a leadership and follower role aka active and passive), acknowledges his continued participation in inflicting pain on the Northuldran people and land, and acknowledges that all of that requires him to act justly, here and now
And I really hope that the writers were trying to convey that sentiment by having Lt. Matthias, and not Kristoff, save Anna. To say: “You have can have pride in your past and understand that it is filled with harm towards others, intentional or not. And you can recognize that the structures that give you power and status can and have harmed others, with or without your consent. But none of that should paralyze you from acting towards the proper course of action now.”
Lt. Matthias saves Anna because Arendelle cannot be saved otherwise. It’s.. it’s kind of the whole premise for the movie, actually. The past MUST be reconciled with the present for there to be a future, but the past cannot simply be forgotten or swept away. Acknowledgement is key. Past AND Present are key. Kristoff carries none of that weight on his shoulders, and therefore the only remaining option is to have Lt. Matthias there, arm out, waiting to grasp the future
#this has been Stream of Consciousness About Frozen 2 Themes with your host: me#look I actually think Lt. Matthias is actually a REALLY symbolic character despite his extremely small amount of screentime and ALL of it#has to do with with how he represents Old Arendelle#this whole thing is a very thinly veiled metaphor for historical reparations#which Disney could hardly pull the trigger on loudly bc... well.. money and profit#but some of it still made it in I swear - even if it wasn't executed all that well over all#anyway uhhhh I hope this#satisfies your curiosity#themountainsays#apparently I had a lot to say about it HAHA#Frozen 2 meta#Lt. Matthias#Anna#Kristoff#the dam scene#Frozen 2 themes
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Yet even after a number of days, I began to understand that my "hunger" was a signs and symptom of regular. Nutrition practices come to be deep-rooted and also we accumulate an internal narrative; "I can not function effectively without morning meal", "I need a coffee to start my day", "If I avoid lunch I obtain a mid-afternoon time-out". I enjoy food and also consume a lot of it, so the suggestion of taking in nothing for 72 hrs was intimidating.
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Hexes, Charms, and Neutral Magicks
So, I've mentioned hexes a bunch, because that's Rhiz's major, so it comes up a lot. But what constitutes a hex in Litch Slush? It isn't just a general term for magic.
Hexes are a type of magic with negative effects. This is why they're used for punishments; hexes hurt, hinder, and horrify. I've listed many examples of hexes in previous posts, but here's some more nasty spell effects:
Persistent pain with no physical source
Excessive itching and hives without an allergy trigger of any kind
Unpleasant hallucinations [visual, audio, smell]
Can't turn left
Suddenly terrified of innocuous objects
Vomiting live beetles
People always call you a wildly incorrect name
Paralysis/immobilization
Hexes can range from annoying and slightly inconvenient to outright torturous and inhumane. Some of the milder stuff is pretty standard pranking material [can't turn left for a few minutes, mild itching]. But the more severe and prolonged the hex, well...there's laws about that kind of thing.
After a certain magnitude, these things can lead to real physical and emotional damage, and then you're in deep shit. There's a huge difference between mild itchiness on the level of a few mosquito bites, and itching so intense that the victim starts gouging their flesh from scratching so hard and it interferes with their ability to function. Hexing your buddy so their occasionally catch a whiff of an unpleasant farty smell is worlds apart from hexing someone to constantly smell something so unimaginably foul that they can't focus on anything else and it makes them physically ill. The latter in both cases is punishable by law.
Charms are the opposite end of the spectrum; these are spells with positive effects. I haven't really talked about it yet, but healing spells and things like that definitely fall into this category. Further examples include:
Soothing minor and major pains [and it's not addictive, unlike some painkillers]
Easing anxiety
Combating allergies
Healing wounds and broken bones
Energy boost
Helping people get to sleep
From making daily living a bit easier to outright saving lives, charms are a good influence. They've got a lot of use in various medical fields, obviously. God knows I wish I had magic to make my anxiety shut off. Many charms can also be used to directly counteract or cancel out hexes.
As such, those who study hexes must also study charms. Rhiz and Val are well-versed in both. Though they're not required to study the more medical charms; Hex majors really only need to take specific Charm courses that directly relate to their main field of study.
Of course, even if charms seem inherently good, they can still be misused. You can't just go around using healing charms without learning how to properly apply them. Those who've studied healing charms can seamlessly close wounds and repair broken limbs in such a way that you'd think they were never broken at all. A less-learned person can try to use healing charms with some limited success, but they can leave behind thick, ugly scars, or mend bones incorrectly. The thing about the bones is especially problematic; they have to go to a professional and have the bone re-broken and properly healed. Whoever "fixed" it in the first place can easily get stuck paying for that bill, should the injured choose to go after them for it.
Neutral Magic [colloquially known as "Noots" or "Newts" to anyone under like, 35] is basically everything else that doesn't fit into the first two categories, with one other major difference: it's applied to objects, not people, and has no intent of directly affecting people. Neutral magic can be used for the following purposes:
Banishing dust and grime
Helping plants grow, or making plants wither
Mending broken objects, or breaking objects
Moving objects
While these are certainly things that can hurt or help people, that's more of a side-effect; the main focus is to manipulate an object. One of the few exceptions to the "not used on people" rule is forcibly moving people. This can be used for good [to shove someone away from danger] or ill [to push people into harm's way].
Noots can also be linked to hexes or charms. A sequence, if you will. Like, if X happens, the noot picks up on it, and triggers a hex or charm in turn. Remember what I said about the rooms at the JuxtaPosition? There's a noot that senses distress, fear, panic, etc. When it senses those things, then it triggers a binding hex [to immobilize the source of the problem], and a noot that forcibly moves the attacker away from the victim. Or the Exclusion proximity noots, that sense when the Excluded and the Protected are too close to each other, and activate a blindness hex on the Excluded.
Of course, there's bound to be places where the lines are sort of blurred. Hexes can be used in a way that's beneficial [using a paralysis hex in self-defense] and charms can be applied with sinister intent [soothing someone to sleep to do awful things to them]. Magic is never so straightforward, right.
So that's the quick'n'dirty on magic in Litch Slush. A whole other beast from Termythian magicks.
SEND NOOTS
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Self-Confidence: The One Formula That Will Make You Insanely Confident
As a young boy going to grade school I never considered confidence to be an issue. I was one of the most popular faces in school. I had excellent academics. Me winning different awards and recognitions was a commonplace. I used to do stage shows in school functions and I was also the class monitor. Naturally, I was the most confident person I had known back then. But it all changed when in 2nd grade I had to leave that school and got admitted to another much bigger school. It was in my new school that I realized that I’m not the best. There are plenty of other people who are far better than me. The system, the curriculum everything was different. Three months in this new school was enough to pop the bubble that I lived in for the first 8 years of my life.
And for the first time in my life, I realized that confidence is definitely an issue and that I lacked plenty of it. I spent the next 8 years in this school. Inside these 8 years, I entered my adolescence, the effect of the society set in. Like many others, I started worrying that I would be judged and was in constant fear of this. I kept myself aloof from doing a lot of things, from participating in a lot of activities that I otherwise would have done. All for my lack of self-confidence. The initial struggle that I had made me believe that I was never good enough and all that happened in my previous school was just a delusion.
Towards the end of this period however, I did get habituated with the system. I did do well enough. But it was nothing close to my potential. And the prime reason behind this is my continual lack of confidence which in turn prevented me from taking action.
I’m pretty sure that you too have such a story where you lose out on a lot because of your lack of confidence (tell me about it in the comments section), otherwise, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. In fact, most people in the world have a profound lack of confidence which prevents them from reaching their actual potential.
To solve this issue I spent a considerable amount of my time researching into the topic of confidence, what is it and why we lack so much of it. I searched for solutions to this problem. And while doing that I noticed a pattern which can be expressed as a formula. A formula which I believe can make you very confident. At least, I’ve found it to be useful for myself when it came to building my self-confidence. Read through to find this out.
How to use this article
This is probably one of the largest posts you are going to find on the internet knowing which may prevent you from reading any further. But hey, if confidence is something that can define your entire life, then there is no harm in spending even an entire day reading a single piece of writing if required. I can guarantee you that if you won’t regret it. To get the most out of this article-
Grab a pen and paper
You can either listen to the audio version of this article which is at the top. If that doesn’t work for you can just read all the way yourself
Read this article in chunks rather than reading it at once. That way you’ll retain more of what you learn
Take active notes as you read through
I would suggest that you bookmark this page, share it with others or even email yourself this article so that you don’t forget about it. You can also use Evernote to save it for later reading. (Signup to Evernote using this link to get Evernote Premium for a limited period of time)
If you scroll down you’ll see a self confidence quiz which I suggest you to take to know how confident you are now
Every month, take the quiz again to see the change that has been bought to your life reading this article
From the results of the quiz if you believe that there is something that you need to work upon come back to this post anytime
In this ever eventful world, in case you don’t forget to retake this quiz, you will automatically receive an email once every 4 weeks from the first time you take the quiz reminding you to take it again.
Refer back to this article after taking the quiz
Let’s start off with some basic questions.
Introduction
What is confidence and what does it mean?
The word confidence has its origin in the Latin word ‘confidere’ which means ‘to have full trust’. In modern days, confidence has expanded in its dimensions so much so that there is no one single definition that can fully define what confidence means. The following are some of the prominent definitions of confidence-
a belief in your own ability to do things and be successful
a feeling of certainty
a positive and habitual way of thinking
an attitude that invokes action and emotion
behavior that makes a set of feelings and attitudes follow
the extent to which you can get out of your own way
the extent to which you can continue to take the right action despite what you feel
to be fearless in your actions
an emotion born out of your actions
you maintaining originality, you being your true self irrespective of your surrounding environment
Although there will be disputes regarding the definition of confidence, there’s one thing I can say for sure. Confidence isn’t something that you’re born with. It isn’t something that comes all on a sudden and enables you to do whatever you like. It isn’t something that’s permanent. And being confident certainly DOES NOT MEAN not having your nerves.
Confidence isn’t something that you have rather it is something that you do.
Where does self-confidence come from?
This question has a fair level of controversy to it. Different people will give you different answers- from past successes, from accomplishments, from being well built-up, from good performances, etc. But the truth is self-confidence as the name suggests comes from your own self, it comes from inside you.
To properly articulate it, self-confidence comes from raising your Self-esteem. But isn’t self-confidence and self-esteem the same thing? Absolutely not. Self-esteem denotes your sense of self-worthiness. Prominent psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden in his book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem writes that your self-esteem is your reputation with yourself. It’s what you genuinely believe and think of your true self.
Difference between Confidence and Overconfidence
Confidence is quiet and it stays within you. When you’re confident you don’t act morally superior. Rather you are humble and you rightly estimate your skillset grounded on reality.
But when you are overconfident you have this fixed mindset that you are always correct. You tend to overestimate yourself and are proud of yourself. Unlike popular belief, you really don’t need to outwardly show that you’re always right and proud of yourself. Even if you’ve never expressed overconfidence in front of others you may be just as overconfident as any of those overconfident persons you hate.
Why is confidence important?
Confidence, for many people like you and me, happens to be that one thing that has the potential to initiate a series of actions in our lives that will change it for the better. The benefits of confidence include but are not limited to-
Better performance
Enables you to take action which you otherwise would not have taken out of fear
It empowers you to say ‘No’ when you should be saying ‘No’
Being confident removes anxiety
You can unlock your full potential by being confident
You get to discover your true self
It can make things easy for you
It can free you from your self-built cage
What does a profound lack of confidence bring to your life?
Confidence means having enough belief in your abilities that you become active. Lack of confidence, therefore, means being uncertain of whether your efforts will be successful – an uncertainty that makes you scared to even try. Lack of self-confidence potentially leads to-
Social anxiety and withdrawal
Emotional turmoil
Self-negligence
Depression and sadness
Closeting yourself
Treating yourself very badly
Fear of facing any new situation
Not discovering your full potential
Lifetime regret
Eating disorder
Always having self-doubt
Living a very mediocre life
Not fulfilling your dreams
Always getting less than what you deserve
Moral deterioration
Bad relations with other people
What causes people to lack so much in confidence?
Although there may be a plethora of reasons why most of us lack confidence, some of the prime reasons include-
Self-limiting beliefs
Physical insecurities
Past trauma
Anxiety and depression
Comparing with others
Negative self-talk
Bad parents
Lack of congruence between what you want, what you believe and what you do
Social prejudice
Self-pity
Lack of self-discipline
Lack of adequate knowledge and practice
Bad company
Lack of awareness
Want of perfectionism
Being a victim of bullying
Inferiority complex
Often not completing what you started
A false sense of pleasure
How confident are you?
To know how confident you are you can take this comprehensive self-confidence quiz.
How can you be more confident?
The internet is filled with quick fixes some of which may boost your confidence level temporarily. But none of them will truly enable you to build your confidence. Because having a permanent sense of high self-confidence asks you to follow a complex long term process. However, the process of building confidence can be simplified with this one formula. Wait for it, wait for it, and… POOF! Here it is-
Intention + Thinking + Imagination + Action = Supreme Confidence
The Supreme Confidence formula
Throughout the rest of this post, you will come to know how to implement this simple yet highly effective formula in your life to build your confidence and become superconfident.
Part One Of The Confidence Formula: Intention
Having the right intent is essential for any journey. You just can’t go out hoping that one day you’ll reach your destination, one day you’ll become confident. You need to expect it and need to know that it will happen. For this, you need to have the right intent.
1. Determination
There is nothing you can achieve but failure if you don’t have the determination to take you all the way through. Confidence is something that you need to create for yourself. Unless you have the determination to do this whatever formula you follow it doesn’t really matter. You’ll never have confidence. Approach the act of gaining confidence as an obligation and be determined.
“One of the greatest turning points in my life occurred when I stopped casually waiting for success and started to approach it as a duty, obligation, and responsibility.”
Grant Cardone
But how do you become determined?
2. Ask yourself – “Why do I need this?”
Every morning, or before any major event ask yourself why you need this confidence in the first place. Clarity is power. Unless you and, more importantly, your mind and your body specifically know why you need to be self-confident, you will never be self-confident.
This is primarily because our brains are great at filtering out information that we don’t require. So it’s important that you keep reminding yourself of this information. Each day, grab a pen and a paper and write your answer to the above question so that it gets internalized in your brain.
3. Understand that you are going to miss out on a lot of good things if you are not confident
Lack of confidence prevents you from taking action. You know that you’ve already missed out on a lot of things to date because you were not confident when you needed to be. You know you could have achieved a lot more if it weren’t for your inability to be confident when required. If you don’t take any measure now this will continue forever and ever.
It’s time you call it QUITS.
Make a comprehensive list of all the good things that you are going to miss out on for your lack of self-confidence, and reflect upon that list on a daily basis. This regular act of reflection shows your brain why it’s important to act now.
4. Pain vs Pleasure
According to Tony Robbins, one of the best life coaches out there, Pain and Pleasure are two of the most powerful forces in the universe. In fact, everything that we do day in and day out all through our lives is purely driven by our sense of pain or our sense of pleasure.
For example, you perceive just standing in front of a crowd, all staring at you as a severe ordeal. You attach a deep sense of agonizing pain to it. On the other hand, we associate pleasure to being in a group and not being observed by others.
The amalgamation of these two forces together is what has made the fear of speaking in public the No.1 fear in humans, coming ahead of the fear of dying.
But our brain always takes decisions with positive intent. For example, people who smoke know that it is going to kill them. But still their brain compels them to smoke when it’s boring, or when they are going through some painful situation, all that with the positive intent of making them feel good.
What’s important is that we actively teach our brain to understand what’s good and what’s not by actively attaching an insurmountable level of pain to the things that we don’t want to have and actively associating utmost pleasure to the things that we want to have; in this case being able to do the thing that we want to with confidence.
The other thing to keep in mind is that you need to prioritize long term pleasure over short term pleasure. This is because in most cases-
Short term Pleasure = Long term Pain
5. Congruence
Congruence means to be in a state of proper alignment. To have an insane level of confidence you need to line things up properly. Your intention, your mindset, your actions, body, and mind all need to be properly aligned with your goal, your vision.
When there is congruence in your action there is clarity in your mind; your brain knows exactly what to do when to do it and how to do it.
So to have meaningful confidence in yourself align all the factions of your life in one direction.
Part Two Of The Confidence Formula: Thinking
The next part of the formula is Thinking. To be insanely confident, which a presume you’re currently not, you need to change your default way of thinking.
1. Accept what you can’t change about yourself
Face it. No human in this world is perfect. Each one of us is full of imperfections. It is these imperfections within us that make our lives so different from others. Some of the natural traits that we have can’t be changed no matter how hard we try.
Fretting about these flaws within you won’t cure these imperfections. Rather, it’s more likely that you’ll end up magnifying a very small issue into a life-defining problem.
In these cases, the smartest way to act is to accept what you can’t change about yourself and live with it, if not be happy with it. What you can’t change you can’t change.
So accept it, get on with it and love yourself anyway.
2. Practice Self Awareness and know yourself inside-out
Self-awareness means to have a conscious awareness of your own character and your feelings, your strengths, your weaknesses and everything thing else that defines who you are.
The reason why self-awareness is such an important trait is that it helps you to know who you are and what values you stand for. Having full knowledge about these things is an integral part of being self-confident. Because knowing yourself inside-out helps you to decide what to do to achieve your goals. It helps you to know what your strengths are so that you can use them to the fullest. It also helps you to know what your weaknesses are so that you can work on them.
Start your morning asking yourself, “Who am I?” This one simple question will give rise to a series of other questions all that contribute to the complex development of you and your belief system.
3. Define Your Fears
Defining your fears top to bottom gives you clarity. You come to know the reason behind your fears. Having this knowledge helps you to take action to eliminate these fears by taking proper action.
4. Recognize that you are holding yourself back
As humans, we have limitless potential. But more often than not we tend to hold ourselves back. We fail to recognize the infinite potential we possess. Whether be it the prejudices of the society or our own myopic vision very few people actually reach their full potential and produce excellent results.
The key to getting out of this is to recognize that it is you who is holding yourself back, and not anyone else. A good example in this context would be the story of Marvel’s very own Captain Marvel. She had the power to single-handedly defeat an entire Kree army. But it was only when she realized that her powers were subdued by the Kree device on her neck(in our case the limiting beliefs inside our head) that she was able to uncover her true powers.
So don’t judge your self-worth based on your current condition. Because you too, my friend, are holding back an enormous deal of power. Realize this as soon as you can.
5. Combat Negativity
You simply can’t focus on being confident and at the same time have a bunch of negative voices roaming around your head. Getting rid of all these negative thoughts is the precondition to have a clear and confident mind.
Here are some of the key negative elements you need to eliminate from your mind:
Your inner critic: The inner critic is that voice inside you that plants reservation in yourself. Your inner critic constantly criticizes each and every one of your actions that too from a pessimistic point of view. It strangles you from doing anything meaningful by swaying you against it.
Overthinking: Overthinking is one of the root causes of our lack of self-confidence. It prevents us from living the moment and implants meaningless concerns in our head.
People who lack confidence all share one thing in common, and I would know because I was one of them: They live in their head. So much so, that they can’t even hear what the other person is actually saying.
Nicolas Cole
The Imposter Syndrome: Imposter Syndrome is when you always have this feeling that every great result you have achieved until now were mere accidents. It’s not because you deserve this success, rather because you somehow turned out to be lucky.
Arrogance: Arrogance is the opposite of confidence. It is a brittle shield trying to hide your insecurities. When you are arrogant you try and identify your worth with your own beefed-up opinions and visions of yourself. You try to show that you’re better than others, rather than showing who you really are.
Comparing yourself with others: Comparing yourself with others is an act of foolishness. Each and every one of us is unique. We all have our own joys, and we all have our own difficulties. Never compare yourself with anyone yourself. Present-day social media plays a big role in creating a comparison mindset.
Compromising originality: You will never be confident if you are constantly compromising your ownself and living a life dictated by the opinions of anyone else but you. Embrace who you are and never make a compromise on that just for the sake of making people who don’t matter happy. Let go of managing other people’s opinion of you.
Waiting for other people’s approval: Majority of the people aren’t really successful in their personal life. So why bother looking forward to the opinions of people who are not any more successful than you are? Believing that a certain person’s approval will make you happy or more confident is a destructive habit.
Perfectionism: Perfection in the vast majority of case the opposite of completion. The sense of perfectionism in whatever is it that you do dissuades you from taking proper action. According to Brené Brown, we strive for perfectionism to shield ourselves from the possibility of failure. If you really do want your works to be perfect make sure that it does not stop you from taking action.
Other Negative Habits: Some other prominent negative habits that hinder the development of your confidence include but aren’t limited to- Staying in situations that you really dislike, focusing intensely on practice, disqualifying yourself before doing something, playing really low, etc.
But how do you kill all this negativity from your mind?
Follow these simple yet effective steps to combat negativity
Be mindful and aware of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and reactions to situations, and also the people around you.
Kill all the disempowering thoughts and beliefs
Replace them with empowering revitalizing thoughts and beliefs
Repeat this until it turns into an automatic response
6. Find a good and consistent source of confidence
For most people, their source of confidence lies in the praises and approvals of other people. The problem with this is that such a source of confidence isn’t reliable since it isn’t consistent. And more importantly, it relies on how well you perform. So to make the flow of confidence from such a source consistent you need to perform really well that too on a consistent basis.
But in practicality, this is impossible. No human, irrespective of their level of expertise, can deliver good results and perform well on a consistent basis.
So you need to find a proper source of your confidence, one that is consistent. One from which you can gain confidence even when you have no one to stand by your side. It can be a vivid imagination of your goal, a strong determination, your love for your sport, your firmness to do the right thing, or anything else that’s consistent.
7. Have a Growth Mindset rather than a Fixed Mindset
A Fixed mindset is when you believe that everything from your strengths, your weaknesses, your potential, and your results is fixed and predetermined. And you are going to get nothing more than what you are destined to get.
A Growth Mindset, on the other hand, is the belief that most if not all the things in life are flexible and malleable and changes the way you want it to. Which means that your potential and your strengths are limitless. It all depends on what sort of actions you are willing to take. That is, your attitude to your life is going to define your altitude.
So to have your desired level of confidence you need to have a growth mindset. You need to believe that your level of confidence isn’t fixed. It can be improved by taking proper actions.
8. Practice having an Equality Mindset
Back in school, one of my teachers, who has been in this noble profession for over 50 years now, once told us-
In my entire teaching career, I have seen students of all kinds. I have seen only a few people who are prodigies and intellectually superior than others. The number of dumb students even fewer. Most students have the same level of intellect. The difference is in the way they use it.
Phanindra Chandra Banik
That coming from a person with 50 years of experience, can never be doubted.
So have an equality mindset. The person in front of you isn’t superior to you in terms of intellect. Be confident and never let other people intimidate you. Moreover, make proper use of your own intellect.
9. Control What You Focus On
Imagine that you are on a podium giving a speech in front of fifty-odd people. What should you be focusing on?
Here are your options-
(a) How the people are reacting to your speech
(b) What the people are thinking about you
(c) Sounding and appearing more confident
Most people choose option (c), which is absolutely wrong. So are (a) and (b). So what exactly should you be focusing on?
It’s your content that you should be focusing on. That is to say, all that you need to focus on is what you are saying at the moment. Everything else doesn’t matter. If you focus on what other people are thinking about you, or on sounding confident, which most people lacking confidence inevitably do – your content which is your main performance is likely to get sidetracked amid the chaotic environment inside your head.
So only focus on what really matters, and eliminate all the pointless concerns.
10. Own Your Strength
Irrespective of who we are and what we do, each of us, we have our own sets of strengths and weaknesses. But our pessimist side often wins the fight against our optimistic side. And as a result, it reminds us of our weaknesses every now and then.
As a result, our strengths, or more precisely the knowledge of them thereof, remains in the shadow; so much so that we hardly recognize.
Learn to recognize your strengths and continually build upon them. If your feeling stranded and don’t know where to start from, you can always take the 16 Personalities Test. Even the free test will give you a comprehensive explanation of yourself. It tells you your personality type, your strengths and weakness, and many more.
One interesting thing that I found when I gave the 16 Personalities Test is that I belong to the ‘Logician’ category and about 3% of people in the world are of this personality type. This makes this personality type quite rare. What this means for me is that the majority of the people I meet are going to be different than me. And that’s completely okay.
11. Embrace Your Vulnerability
Most of us use the word ‘Vulnerability‘ to mean a weakness of some kind, or a state of being exposed to attack. But renowned researcher Dr.Brené Brown sees it differently. According to her, ‘Vulnerability’ means the willingness to openly admit failures and weaknesses which helps us build up resilience to feelings of shame, and be happier with what we have.
In her research, she discovered that shame weakens our ability to believe we can improve ourselves and that we can improve our level of confidence. And shame is a common way in which we try to combat our vulnerability. So if you can embrace your vulnerability, your sense of shame automatically disappears.
To know more about this you can check out Brené Brown’s Ted talk on ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ below.
Brené Brown: THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY
12. Failure is an integral part of the confidence gaining process
There was a time when I feared failure so much that this fear was enough to prevent me from doing a lot of things that I genuinely wanted to do. And I know a lot of you are currently doing the same thing. We all know well that failure is but a stepping stone in our path to success. Yet only a few of us actually portray belief this in our actions.
And rightfully so, people of the likes of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, and J.K. Rowling, people who were ready to fail often are the ones to make a name for themselves in their respective fields.
So embrace your failures and learn from them rather than running away from them. Each time you fail, you learn more about the thing that you’re doing, and the more you learn about it, the more confident you’ll be.
13. Become a (Reverse) Paranoid
Paranoia is a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically worked into an organized system. It also used to mean the unjustified suspicion and mistrust of other people.
While you and I may not have paranoia, the mental condition, we do to some extent have a mild sense of paranoia acting within us. For example, if you’ve ever scored bad in an exam where most others have done well, it’s not unnatural for you to feel that you are subject to partiality by your teacher or someone else.
This toned-down form of paranoia most of us have in a lot of cases bars us from seeing the actual cause behind our failure and compels us to make excuses.
We call it Reverse Paranoia when we use this paranoia in a positive way, In this mode of thinking you start believing that everything happening in this universe has the sole objective of ensuring that you succeed. For example, in the previous scenario instead of making excuses that the teacher was partial, you believe out of all the people the teacher is indirectly challenging you to do better in the next test. And this is because he knows that you have incredible potential.
In this mode of thinking, every obstacle you come across in life, you believe, is an indication that it’s time for you to up your game. You believe that you are facing this obstacle because you have the strength to overcome this and it’s time you discover that.
Part Three Of The Confidence Formula: Imagination
Does this sound familiar to you?
One day you come across an event which happens to ignite a strong sense of motivation inside you. It can be anything- a movie, a story, an exceptional performance by someone, anything. You go back home, and that night you feel pumped up. You resolve that tomorrow is going to be the start of your epic journey to success. No matter what happens you are going to kill all your temptations of mediocrity and are going to only those things which are going to make you successful. You are going to build the best of habits and are going to be super-confident and super-efficient.
Come the next day, you wake up to the alarm, all pumped up. You start doing what you’re supposed to do. After grinding your to-do list for an hour or two you think that it’s time for you to take a break. And so you start your short break.
But alas! You see your phone and pick it up, thinking that minute or two on your phone won’t disturb your routine. Two minutes turns into five and then ten…and by the time you notice it’s been 2 whole hours. And then you spend 3 more hours on the phone, thinking that your day is already over, there’s nothing you can do to make it better, and so you’ll start again afresh tomorrow.
The next day comes, but you believe you’re not ready yet. So you defer the beginning of your epic journey to success for tomorrow. Seven days later you remember that not so long ago you resolved to immerse in a new routine. But here you are back to your old routine, doing what you always do. And more importantly, you have no idea why you’re doing what you’re doing now and not doing what you were supposed to do.
We’ve all been through this experience. And amazingly most of us are going through this mediocre routine right now.
Why does this keep happening so often? Why do we not do what we’re supposed to? And why do most people consistently revert back to that old cycle of lack of self-confidence of theirs?
The simple reason is our subconscious mind. That is to say, although we consciously know you that need to be self-confident and we may firmly believe that you can be confident, our subconscious mind doesn’t believe the same.
And because of this, that feeling of fear and that lack of confidence always seems to set into your mind and your body no matter what you do. Because around 90% of what we do on a daily basis is controlled by our subconscious mind; the reason being that your brain is an expert at flushing out all the unnecessary details.
You can understand this more clearly from an example. Let’s go back to that scenario we were in a little earlier – you giving that speech. Your conscious mind is busy thinking out the things that you are going to say to the people and how you are going to present it to them. So the task of handling your confidence now goes to your subconscious mind. Now, all the fears and all the doubts all the nonsensical questions that have been programmed into your subconscious starting from your birth till date sets in. Your adrenaline goes up. Anxiety sets in your veins. And there you go, all your confidence which your conscious mind has been hosting didn’t take a second to get flushed out.
So what is our problem?
The main problem when it comes to our lack of self-confidence lies in our subconscious and the way it has been programmed.
But what is the subconscious mind?
In psychology, the subconscious is the part of the mind that is not currently in focal awareness. The subconscious mind is like a big memory bank that stores your beliefs, memories and life experiences. This information that is stored in your subconscious mind always affects your behavior and actions in different situations. In the simplest of senses, our subconscious is our built-in auto-pilot feature.
Whatever we do every day, at least 90% of it is done by our subconscious mind. Only 10% or so of our daily tasks, we actively do with our conscious mind.
So the secret to an insane level of confidence lies in how our subconscious is programmed. And it should be quite clear to you by now the default settings is really very bad.
But how do we override this default program that has been solidified in our subconscious upon running for years?
In comes Imagination. It is this 11-letter magical world that can reprogram your subconscious the way you want it. You may the smartest, the strongest, the fastest, but if you lack the power of imagination you can do nothing with your strengths. Because you’re still running on that default mediocre program that everyone else is running on.
The clearer is your imagination the closer you will be to your goal. If you can hone this skill properly than you won’t have to worry about being confident ever again. Here is what you should do-
1. Visualize Yourself Being Confidence
If I ask you to go back to your home from your school or your office would you be able to do that? Most people including you would answer, “Absolutely.”
Why is that the case? It is because you’ve been through this road so many times that you know every nook and corner of it. You know this way like the back of your hands. And it is this familiarity with the road from the start to the finish is what enables you to find your way home without any hesitation.
The phenomenon works in every aspect of our lives. If you know the road, every nook and corner of it from the beginning to the end, you are inevitably going to reach our goal.
Visualization plays the most important role in these cases. You can use your imagination to visualize your entire road to success. By visualizing every aspect of the journey both the good and the bad and every possible permutation of them as vividly as possible, you now have a complete road map to success installed into your subconscious. And no matter what situation arises, it shouldn’t be a problem for you because you’ve already visualized this inside your head and you already know the way out of this situation.
The reason why visualization works so well is that our brain really can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality. So practice the art visualization every day for at least 10 minutes. For some, this act of visualizing may turn into procrastination. If that’s the case write everything down on a diary just in order to guide your imagination.
2. Affirmations
Affirmations are basically mantras bearing a sense of positivity that you keep on repeating to yourself until it gets imprinted into your subconscious. And when that happens, these positive affirmations override your default negative beliefs. Your subconscious now knows how powerful you are.
For example, you can repeat to yourself – “I am the most confident person alive.” For more such affirmations check out this amazing list of affirmations by Crystal Jackson.
3. Anchoring
Anchoring is an understated yet highly effective tool to boost your confidence. It refers to citing one or more of your past successes as an inspiration to overcome future hurdles. Pick a past accomplishment something that even startled you when you achieved it and use it is an anchoring thought to make yourself believe that if you could achieve then you can achieve whatever you set your site to.
If you fail to find such an accomplishment, use your imagination. Because you already know that your brain really can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality.
4. Use Confident Language
The way we speak and the words we make use of on a daily basis, all are an indirect reflection of inner belief system. When you use a confident language not only when talking to your yourself(something that successful people do a lot) but also when talking with others, that confidence from your language transpires into your inner system.
So, replace all the ‘I should’ with ‘I want’, the ‘I should not’ with ‘I don’t want’, and the ‘I can’ with ‘I will’. Let confidence be your diction.
5. Make Self-Distancing An Inherent Part Of Your Language
Self-distancing means speaking to yourself from a third-person perspective. Let’s say your name is Lebron. Instead of saying “I wish I can do that” say something the likes of “Lebron wants to do this”, “Lebron is confident”, or “Lebron is the best”.
Sure, this sounds narcissistic. But it definitely works. Interestingly Lebron James himself does this quite often as you may say in any of his interviews. Self-distancing will drastically increase your confidence because it forces you to think objectively and shuts down all the crappy negative thoughts in your mind.
6. Keep away from negative people
Negative people are great confidence drainers. They have very low self-confidence. Moreover, they can drain your confidence as well. Staying around them will definitely make an otherwise confident person rethink if he is confident or not.
You might think that avoiding these people is no big deal. If it only were that easy. The problem is some of our very own people, people closest to us may be a negative person. Your best friend, your parents, your partner it’s not unlikely for these people to spread a bad aura in your life. Even the language they use regarding you no matter how affectionate that maybe can create a limiting belief in your mind. Learn to identify these people and deal with them tactfully.
7. Don’t just hope, expect and know that you’ll achieve
We ‘hope’ for a lot of things in our lives. But ‘hope’ more often than not is nothing more than a mirage. Stopping wasting your time hoping for things and start expecting. Know that you are going to achieve what you’re working for.
Confidence comes for certainty. Knowing that you’re going to achieve your goal, expecting that you’re going to succeed gives you a sense of certainty wich hope in and of itself doesn’t.
8. Keep Your Goals Secret
When we reveal our goals to someone else, irrespective of whether we know them or not, it creates a two-fold problem. The first is when that person praises you. It gives you a false sense of accomplishment. So now you don’t feel the urge to work for it.
The second is when that person doesn’t praise you rather questions your goals. This questioning instantly implants a sense of doubt within you. As a result, your confidence level reduces.
So never share your noble goals with anyone else.
Part Four Of The Confidence Formula: Action
Norman Vincent Peale once said, “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.”
Action is what completes the four-part confidence formula. And if you’ve made this far then I believe that you have what it takes to act upon what you’ve learned. The following are some of the many actions that you should be doing to consolidate confidence within yourself for eternity.
1. Accept Responsibility & Stop Complaining
Complaining about your circumstances, your weaknesses, your difficulties, or even your complaining about your shadow will give you nothing. You might garner sympathy from others. But expect nothing more than that.
Never make excuses or blame others for-
your lack of confidence
your failures and setbacks
how you are treated by others
anything
Rather accept responsibility for your own actions. Because if you don’t nobody else will. You have to be confident yourself. Nobody else will make you confident.
2. Overcome Weakness
Identify all your weaknesses and work on those that can make a difference. Ignore the petty stuff. You don’t need to perfect. Even the best of the best have their own weaknesses.
So work on priming yourself. If you want an A then study for an A and not for a B.
3. Exercise and Confidence
Your emotion is defined by your motion. When you move you might feel exhausted, but it makes your body happy. This is because the human body was designed to walk miles after miles on a daily basis(something that our ancestors used to do) rather than being a couch potato.
Personally, I don’t like to exercise at all. But I’ve seen that when I exercise the morning of any big day, I do quite well. It helps me control my nerves and use my energy effectively. So exercise at least once every other day.
4. Meditate Your Way To Confidence
Meditation does wonders to your body, mind and as well as your confidence. It not only calms your nerves but also helps you to think your way through.
Even 5 minutes of meditation will take you a long way through.
5. Start Journaling
Writing what you did today before you go today in a diary seems lame. But many of the highly effective people have this habit of journaling. Because spending on a pen and some paper and devoting 10 minutes a day to journaling will pay you dividends.
Journaling helps you to-
strengthen your self-discipline
make yourself accountable to yourself
plan ahead
learn from your mistakes
take inspiration from your past (raw material for Anchoring)
Writing about your failures and your guilts day after day forces your brain to take action. Because, naturally, you don’t want to see your failures again and again.
6. Adopt Confident Body Language
When you’re not confident it tells in your very posture. The way you place your arms and legs, the way you move your eyes, these all as visual cues for the person in front of you that you’re not feeling confident. On the contrary, when you have a strong posture to others you will appear to shine with confidence. This physical sense of confidence quickly spreads into your inner system and makes you believe that you’re confident.
Watch the following Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and a prominent advocate of ‘power posing’, has to say regarding your body language:
AMY CUDDY: Your body language may shape who you are
So do pick up some Superman and Wonderwoman poses.
7. Gamify Your Life
We all love to play games. And most of us equally hate working in life. So turn your work and your training into a game; reward yourself for your accomplishments. Microaccomplishments takes you a long way through. Gamification makes tasks interesting and increases your accomplishment rate. And the more things you accomplish the more your confidence increases.
This brings us to our next point…
8. Completion
Complete whatever you start. When you have a long history of not completing things your brain starts believing that you don’t need to complete anything. This can assume a dangerous form over time. Don’t leave things incomplete.
9. Use the 5 Second Rule
This very handy tool was formally devised by author Mel Robbins in her famous book The 5 Second Rule. Whenever you know that you should be doing something but just don’t feel like doing it, count from 5 to 1. As soon as your done counting stand up and start acting. This counting backward sends a message to your brain that you need to take action right now.
So if you’re low on confidence but you need to do something that requires you to be on the top of your confidence, count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and launch yourself like a rocket and dive deep into your work.
10. Enjoy the process
No matter what happens it’s important that you enjoy the process. Stop overthinking, stop thinking whether you are going to embarrass yourself or not. If you feel your nerves settling in again ask yourself am I being nervous or am I feeling very energetic? When we are about to do a task which we normally don’t do, a challenging task, our body quickly musters a high level of energy ready to be used. This sudden spike in energy and increased blood flow is what we mistakenly call nervousness. You’re not nervous. At least your body isn’t. It’s just highly energized. Recognize this as soon as possible.
Start taking action and whatever you do enjoy it fully. Don’t worry about being confident. Because you can’t think of being confident and be confident at the same time.
11. Some Other Things You Can Do To Bolster Your Confidence
If you’ve already materialized all that you have read until now into action than you’re already the most confident person you know. But if you still want to go that extra mile you can check out the following list-
take a cold shower every day
take the 100-day rejection challenge
try something new every day
help out someone
read good non-fiction books whenever and wherever you can
complement others as much as they deserve
act as if you know what you’re doing
groom yourself properly and look confident
develop your brain
do at least one thing for the betterment of your body daily
write all the things that you’re grateful for in your journal
Conclusion
I know that this isn’t the first article you’re reading on changing yourself. And yet there is little change in you. If you want to change for the better you have to move. You have to start taking action. Confidence isn’t a bird that is going to fly to you. Rather confidence is something that you have to create with your actions. But after all this, all I have to say is that your life is your life. I’ve done my part handing you the roadmap. It’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with it.
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P.S: Coming soon ‘The West World Mindset’
You might still be wondering if there is a singular technique that can in and of itself bolster your confidence-level sky-high. As for now, I can tell you that there is one such technique which I personally use. It’s called the ‘West World Mindset’. You won’t find this on the internet though. Because I made it up myself. And now it’s paying me in dividends.
Join the journey below if you haven’t already. That way when I’m done writing a blog on this secret technique you will be notified immediately.
The post Self-Confidence: The One Formula That Will Make You Insanely Confident appeared first on The Intesar Jawad Blog.
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Response
The sincere level of cherry picking in this post is absolutely laughable and abhorring. I’ll start from the top to bottom of ‘evidence’.
The first discussion and issue of Hu'lon was that I saw a pattern in something that I had seen in a lot of my members past; it escalated due to Hu'lon refusing to communicate, and through the grapevine I just heard that they wanted to ‘not put it in the Accord’. I was concerned, and I reached out - the first time, I was met with stalwart refusal to communicate, so I backed off due to knowing that they had a legitimate social issue. I approached later on, and as you can see, the discussion was very forward and after clearing up my concerns with them, I backed off and that should have been the end of it. For the officers reaching out to people - I apologize if I prefer to discuss things over solving everything with a block button and refusal to speak.
Moving onto the part about me being tired of this. I had my current best friend leave the guild in the middle of the night, after seemingly everything was good (again, due to a lack of communication, I was not made aware that the other person was uncomfortable.) I suffer from BPD - i.e. Borderline Personality Disorder, which, if any of you have associated or learned of it, is the behaviour of absolute fear, anxiety and melting down when you’re met with someone leaving you. Tiao Lin was one of my best friends, and I still consider them to be, and I was in absolute tears when I made these messages. There is no guilt-tripping, there is legitimate depression and anxiety happening when these messages are happening. Conveniently, they left out the part where I explained such.
Moving onto the art 'requests’. I asked every single one of my artists in the guild - which, my guild has quite a number and I sincerely admire each and every one of them - if they’d like to collaborate in an effort to recruit people. This was clearly outlined in the picture: HERE at the top, almost cut off and further cherry picked.
Moving onto Tiao Lin once more, I reached out to a few of the stable people that I know she would make good friends with so that she would feel more at home in the guild. She suffers from anxiety and I genuinely wished her the best. I messaged three people to just reach out for her - if she felt anxious because of something, then she should always have a way to help and heal with her guild. I do not believe this was something that is wrong.
People were hurt by her departure. She blocked and removed everyone without a word.
One hurt person, that didn’t wish to include them in our recruitment post anymore. Note that I was still actively attempting to defend her.
Another hurt person. Both close friends of hers.
As you can see, I talked and discussed with all of them. I never made the claim that the whole guild absolutely hated her, because I never told everyone she had left - I had elected to keep that a non-topic until it had been fully closed, because I knew from their patterns of behaviour that they can have these blips of panic. I did not fault her, and I explained to those people further into the conversation how and why it happened.
More art requests - this was very clearly a joke, and taken out of context.
Now, for these claims of racism and others. Correct, I did say them, in private games with friends that I had been around for months at this point. Note in the first one that Tiao Lin (Sylvissa) was clearly leading the joke towards what I said, and I just expanded on an edgy joke. There is no hatred, no calling other people these words, nor is there any sort of malicious intent behind it. It’s a joke. By holding these words so high in the realms of taboo, you give them the power behind them. If, at any point, someone mentioned that they were uncomfortable with what I said, I would be more than happy to apologize, and not say it again, which - with another cherry picked screenshot, I did HERE .
For the second member of the Accord that you listed that I was upset about creating alts; they’re still very much in the guild, and we’ve discussed this in length before to ensure that there will be no misconstrued information again - they do not feel wronged. They are wronged however that you, Hu'lon, used them without permission just to push your letter. They used sixty dollars of their own money to boost a character, and when you had finished with them - you blocked them. You made them cry because of your actions. Your entire argument on these things is based on exceptionally out-of-context statements that I’m appalled you think you can spread to other people just to scorn and ruin my guild.
This is laughable .. Wey is a friend of mine and that is clearly taken out of context once more - and the bottom snippet has never happened. I haven’t run HFC in years; nor have I ever done a commission that had horns in it - and if I had, WMV doesn’t 'not’ export horns. It’s attached to the body model. This is clear and utter bullshit once more just to push an agenda.
Onto the worst, and final point. Hu'lon, you dug through five years of drama and unburied it in an effort to burn me, and my guild down. Yes, I faked having cancer. Five years ago, as a teenager with an undiagnosed mental disorder, which is now diagnosed as BPD - which I also have much more control over, nowadays. The circumstances revolving around this are as follows: I ran a guild called Mistborn, that had around two-hundred to three-hundred members. Due to conspiring between my officers as they found it humorous to antagonize me and make me meltdown; they managed to collapse my guild within a week. At this point, I had never dealt with something this heart-sinking and strenous - my BPD forced me into an absolute panic, and craved for nothing other than emotions of hatred from people. Yes, I claimed that I had cancer in an effort to gain pity, because at this point in my life with my mental disorder - I couldn’t think of anything else. I was in a panic.
Since then, I have apologized to every person that was involved with me, back then. Extrenously. I know that doesn’t make up for it, but I’ve moved on. They’ve moved on. You had one of the officers that -caused- that meltdown tell you that it was not my fault, but you elected to bring this up because you wish to become a martyr for.. whatever cause it is that you’re standing for. I’m not absolving myself because of my mental disorder, but I took every step necessary to cleanse any ill-will that people had from me back then, to which most understood once they heard the full story.
To end this all off, I will summarize. Yes, I had some extrenous issues in the past that have led to the reputation that I have today. I have been working day-in and day-out to attempt to make rights where I made wrongs in the past, but this is stuff from five years ago.
To Tiao Lin - I don’t blame where you stand right now. You’re always welcome to talk to me again, because clearly there is a lack of communication. I understand - you have anxiety. I’ve attempted time and time again to try to help that, but apparently I missed the mark. I’m sorry.
To Hu'lon - I do not respect your attempts to become a martyr to take my guild down. You made claims that you’re hurt that everyone in the guild is turning against you - because you’re making rash decisions that could harm all of us, because of your grudge against one. You never made any attempt to get further information in all of this. You snipped out of context screenshots, and just worked to paint me as the bad guy time and time again. You are the issue with roleplay realms. Instead of discussing and talking like a rational person, you argue with the block and ignore button - without caring about the consequences that come with it, involving multiple people that you USED in these screenshots - and then aim to call me out.
If you read all of this, even if you do not see my side of the argument - I respect you for refusing to listen to blind lies. There will also be follow up posts from people that have known me since back then that -will- discuss in truth what happened, instead of your cherry-picked mess.
Remember when you posted evidence and claimed that I was threatening Wey? Here’s the actual commissioner. Picture 1. Picture 2.
Another commissioner that will happily back-up the fact that I do not do these kinds of things.
Another one. Picture 2.
And when you said I was trying to get free art from you? Here’s another artist in the guild.
And, now statements from my BPD. I asked these people to be absolutely honest about their experiences. These are not hand-picked to try to further my agenda, these are straight from people that have known me for years, and have struggled with my disorder with me.
Picture 1. Picture 2. Picture 3. Picture 4. Picture 5 (very important.) Picture 6. Picture 7.
I’d appreciate it if didn’t bring up stuff you weren’t personally involved to try to bring down me, and my guild from now on. If anybody has an issue with me, you may add me at Zushou#5130 and I will discuss any grievances, hatred, questions, or you can sit there flaming me. Doesn’t matter to me.
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Loot Box Rant
One of, if not the biggest topic in the video gaming industry right now is whether or not we consider loot boxes to be near or on-par with gambling, and whether or not we believe they should be regulated, removed, outlawed, etc.
Probably the biggest and most recent example of this discussion taking place is the issues between the country of Belgium and EA and their refusal to remove the loot boxes in their newest FIFA video game.
Now, I won’t pretend EA is anything but morally bankrupt on all fronts and as reprehensible as video game companies, or really any companies go. However, despite my feelings towards their business practices, directions going forward, effect on other studios, relationship with players, quality of games...etc, I feel like they are being taken as the sole example of what loot boxes are and, in a sense, are ruining it for the rest of the class.
Do I believe loot boxes are akin to gambling? - Getting this out of the way, yes, I do. I don’t necessarily disagree with game companies comparison to packs of trading cards because they are essentially the same thing, but I do still believe it is a form of gambling and as a study done in Australia shows, you still get the highs from getting what you want, and the lows from not getting what you want, and the urges to keep buying until you get what you want.
Do I believe games with gambling should have an M-Rating? - As long as gambling remains an activity that you can only do as an adult (18-years or older), then yes I believe it should be classified as deserving an M-Rating. Personal opinions on whether I believe gambling should be age-restricted aside, if it applies to one it should apply to all.
Do I believe game companies should be required to restrict/remove loot boxes altogether? - Absolutely not. Buying loot boxes is a choice, and should continue to remain one. We don’t bar kids from entering convenience stores just because they sell lottery tickets, why should video games be any different. Besides, if games with loot boxes are age-restricted anyways then it really comes down to an adult’s decision to purchase the loot boxes themselves.
“But what about kids who play M-Rated games?” You might ask, but sorry I don’t blame developers for the parenting decisions other people make regarding their child/ren. If you want to allow your child/ren to play an M-Rated game below the age, by all means that is your decision and it should fall on you to pay the consequences of that decision.
Do I believe all loot boxes are the same? - Of course not, but unfortunately this is what I meant when I said I think EA is ruining it for everybody.
Look I get it, no one likes spending more than the standard $60 price tag for a video game, but assuming that game was released as a completed package (excluding content cut for DLC because let’s face it these are the times we live in and DLC is never going away), any content added post-release is work done on top of the work you’ve paid for, so why is it unreasonable to pay more if you want more?
Now of course there is the huge issue about intentionally cutting content prior to release with the intent to sell it as DLC post-release, but again as I’ve said DLC is never going away, and it’s also a completely different topic unrelated to this one but still deserving its own discussion nonetheless.
What are the different types of loot boxes? - Based on just a quick observation, and please feel free to add to this if you can come up with another variation, but I believe there are three varieties of loot boxes:
- Cosmetic: Blizzard’s Overwatch is a perfect example of this. Any and all rewards acquired in the loot boxes in Overwatch are purely cosmetic, meaning they provide no boost to the player in-game, and have no real-world monetary value.
- Boosts/Enhancements: EA’s Battlefront II is a perfect example of this. Many, if not all, of the rewards acquired in the loot boxes in Battlefront II provide the player with a varying level of boosts that enhance gameplay and help them out, giving them a leg-up, so to speak, on the enemy.
- Monetary Value: This one might be a bit controversial as it’s more-or-less entirely up to 3rd-parties and the player themselves as to whether or not they choose to seek the monetary value attributed to these items.
Valve’s Counter-Strike: Global Offensive (CS:GO) is a perfect example of this. All of the skins obtained through their loot box system have a real-world monetary value, and can be bought, sold, and traded in the Steam Marketplace from anywhere between meager pennies to a maximum of $1800, and that’s strictly if you trade through the Steam Marketplace, it’s possible to trade through a 3rd-party source for even higher prices.
Which are good and which are bad? - Well for the first two varieties I’ve listed that’s an easy answer, loot boxes providing strictly cosmetic rewards are not even remotely harmful, whereas the exact opposite can be said for loot boxes providing boosts/enhancements which damage gameplay and provide an unfair advantage to those with the means to obtain them against those without the means.
As for the loot boxes containing items with real-world monetary values, that’s a bit of a trickier debate, as at that point it is quite literally gambling as you’re spending money for the chance to earn more money, but also with the chance of losing money.
Personally, I find no issue with these. As in my example, CS:GO is an M-Rated game, meaning presumably it is an adult making the decision to participate in the gambling, or it is an adult responsible for their child participating in the gambling. It obviously still has the same risks of addiction that regular gambling has, so bear that in mind.
What’s the TL;DR version of this? - Loot boxes come in varieties, some bad, some good. They shouldn’t be universally hated, nor regulated. EA is still a shit company.
#random rant#ea#video games#video game industry#loot boxes#belgium#australia#gambling#micro transactions#dlc#counter strike global offensive#valve#overwatch#blizzard#battlefront 2#steam
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Do You Recognize the 12 Warning Signs of Low Ranking?
Once we reach the fourth quarter of 2017, it's time in order to start thinking about the yr ahead and what to anticipate from SEO in 2018. That's why SEOs are usually starting to aspect in the intention behind each search query plus optimize the content and consumer experience accordingly. As Bing's Duane Forrester said, all SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Ranking signals revolve around content material of some kind” highlighting the particular impact good content has upon your internet site. Coming up with clean and unique ideas day within day out is incredibly tough, however necessary to keep your own site not only relevant plus engaging for the audience, yet optimized for search engines such as google. Soon after this article focused around a major on-page SEO factors that will impact the search ecosystem was published by Google, a debate about prominent Offpage SEO trends that can disrupt the world of SEO in 2018 sparked in the industry. 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SEO is actually heating up when it comes to brands plus businesses competing for backlinks making use of well-crafted custom content that attempts to solve a certain issue that people may be looking for. Yet with professional curiosity and the particular assistance of trained SEO professionals, your business can leverage SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION trends to come out upon top in 2018 and past. Search engine optimization (SEO) is a process of enhancing positions in organic (non-paid) lookup engine results in search motors. An SEO method is considered white hat when it conforms to the lookup engines' guidelines and involves simply no deception. While keyword analysis and optimisation still dominates SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, experts are seeing a change to natural language and contextual search over the last various years. Although many prominent numbers in SEO believe that RankBrain isn't something for which a person can specifically optimize, it continues to be a concern for most people. A report published by Cosmopolitan Journal of Advanced Research Base states that India is arranged to see the incredible development of digital marketing industry mainly because of growing acceptance of ecommerce and online businesses; and, I actually expect the same for the particular career of content writers or even SEO copy writers. Gaining higher ranks within the search results to gain leads and thus generate on-line revenue from organic marketing techniques is how you rock the particular SEO domain. Despite the ancient usage, Backlinks are nevertheless the most powerful facet associated with the latest SEO trends plus techniques. 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With an increased concentrate on user experience, Google provides challenged the SEO community in order to pay more focus on the particular overall experience of a web site and how the information interacts with users, rather than just the basic elements that many optimize toward. SEO helps keep your business at the best of the search results regarding a long time to arrive, so who knows how a lot of more visitors you'll attract. Several marketers chose to drive their particular modern marketing engine with the particular fuel of Video SEO within 2015. John talks regarding the key reason why internet marketers and business owners should make use of LinkedIn, and how they may use it to enhance their own website's SEO, and increase lookup ranking. 2017 is coming to an end, and it's that time of the year where we start exploring the important thing SEO trends for 2018. With the presence associated with an improved algorithm, it will be now undoubtedly vital to make use of whitened hat SEO techniques for efficient Link building. One particular of the biggest mistakes all of us see businesses make with nearby or organic SEO is simply diving in at a trickery level without understanding what their own strengths or weaknesses are. So, Digital Marketing Experts, it's time to enable your own content and promotions for tone of voice searches to make it worth with regard to SEO 2018. The outcomes are not instant, you can use the time on attempting other Internet marketing techniques whilst SEO would go to function. Before getting in touch along with any of the SEO Firm find out how the company keeps the below mentioned points or even not as on- page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION helps to create better hyperlink and social media content advertising helps your company to contact the height of success. The school strategies of SEO are actually phased out and the new lookup engine algorithms have introduced the new at-par levels for some other techniques that should be regarded as while creating a website style. We all do advanced SEO for Lot of money 500 websites and our strategies are built on these concepts. Now, the only method to appear in the research engine pages like this is definitely by uploading your videos upon You Tube or through movie SEO. On-Page SEO is generally accompanied with Off-Page SEO, that is definitely based on building trustworthy incoming links for your site : this is most frequently known as linkbuilding. As the habits of a user searching search engine optimization company in Mumbai ” could be different from a user looking for seo company in Chennai Therefore, advertisers should not battle in the same way because they will used to do in the particular previous years. Whether you are the marketer or a business proprietor, learning new SEO tactics plus following best practices can assist you secure a safe place online.
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Real Love Spells for Modern Witches! 17 Spells That Work
Love spells can be a really powerful source of self-empowerment. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, and loving someone deeply gives you courage. These words were true when Chinese philosopher Lao-Tze coined them – over two thousand years ago – and still ring true today.
Some of us would do anything to recover a lost love or to attract someone new, but it can be hard to know where to start [psssst! Start here!]. Past and present can get in the way, certain experiences make it hard just to try and move on. But spiritual healing is easier than you think. These simple love spells are a free DIY option that you can use at home to promote love in all aspects of your life. 💏
On this page, you’ll find:
Do Love Spells Work?
Free Love Spells
Tips for Casting Better Love Spells
FAQ
Spells to Attract Love
Spells to Forget an Ex
Love Spells For Couples
Reconciliation Spells: Bring Back a Lover
Love Spells for a Specific Person
Do Love Spells Work?
Love spells have existed since the beginning of civilization, when Witchcraft was used to increase fertility or to favor marriages and relationships. This type of Magic was usually performed by shamans and healers. It was an early form of religion and science. This experimental skill has been passed down for hundreds of generations.
If you have never worked with spells of Witchcraft before, here’s a quick guide that will get you started:
The most effective love spells that work usually involve love chants, prayer, mantras, or affirmations that reinforce our confidence. Before manifesting anything in our reality, we must first believe and feel that this is possible, that we deserve it. To cast a love spell, you have to be ready and open to receive that kind of love. ❤
The ritual aspects of the spell are less important, but they will help you to get into the right mindset. So prepare an atmosphere with dim lights or candles, and a silent place to work without interruptions. Let the energy flow through you and concentrate on your desire. If you haven’t already, read this lesson on the First 5 Steps to Becoming a Real-Life Witch.
Bookmark this site and especially the free love spell recipes. Come back later and print them out or copy them to your Book of Shadows. All spells on this page can easily be cast at home, even if you are a Beginner Witch. You can use Magic for:
Channeling self-love and confidence
Improving a romantic relationship
Recovering a lost love
Attracting someone closer to you
Tips for Casting Better Love Spells
Here are some keys to the proper casting of spells, so if you are a beginner and would like to practice Witchcraft at home, you can maximize the effectiveness of your rituals without having to pay for a professional spellcaster.
1. Clearly define an intention
One of the basic rules for doing any type of Magic work is to understand exactly what your desires are. The clearer your goals and intentions are, the easier it will be for you to materialize those goals and get good results in your spiritual work.
When casting any spell, your thoughts must be directed towards your goal like a laser beam, without any interference. 🎯 Love spells that work best for beginners are those that focus on changing your outlook on life and improving yourself, instead of trying to change what others feel.
2. Choose the right spell
If there are several spells that could fit your need, then choose the one that immediately draws your attention or that you liked at first sight.
Don’t overthink, rely on your intuition and keep your confidence levels high. If you like candles, cast a spell that uses candles. If you like to work with herbs, crystals, or any ingredient in particular, use that ingredient as much as you can. Witches tend have affinities to certain elements because they symbolize a connection to an aspect of Nature or the Universe. With the help of these symbols, a true Witch can manifest anything they want. Find the ingredients and spells that speak to you personally, experiment and have fun! 🍀
If you’ve never cast a spell before, start with easy spells, or look for one that seems simple enough for you. Don’t have big expectations for your first rituals. It’s a slow learning progress and little by little you will become more confident.
3. Practice through trial and error
If a spell does not work for you, wait for a month and re-cast it. Use your intuition to try and find the reason why it didn’t work. If you felt good while casting the spell but you didn’t get any results, it’s preferable that you try casting the same spell again instead of moving to a new one. It takes practice. 💪
Do not combine a love spell with another trying to enhance it. Unless you are experienced, your attention will be dispersed and the spellwork will become useless. It is much more effective to focus all your energy and attention in one goal. Wait until one full moon cycle has passed (about 28 days) before casting another spell. You can still perform, for example, baths and cleanses for unblocking and opening paths. There are plenty of other daily rituals and meditations you can still perform.
If you are a beginner, it’s best to following a written spell step by step, without changing anything. More advanced practitioners should adapt and write their own spells.
4. Give thanks every day
Give thanks because the people and circumstances that you have asked for are already on their way. Allow yourself to daydream and remember what your goal is every morning. Use the Daily Ritual Page to practice devotionals, positive affirmations and mantras that will keep you in the right mood. 🙏 Thought creates reality: Watch your thoughts!
5. Work with the Universe
The Full Moon and all other lunar phases have energies that can enhance your Magic. Full Moon love spells harness the symbolism and power of the lunar radiance to amplify your intent. Find more Full Moon Spells to Workout the Witch in you.
🌒🌕🌘
Remember: There are 8 lunar phases and we can group them into 4 stages: New Moon, Waxing Moon, Full Moon, and Waning Moon. If you’re new to Moon Magic, read this post now:
When you make a petition or a request to any entities or to your Higher Self, pretend that you already have what you are asking for and that you are just giving thanks for it. Never say “Help me because I’m tired and lonely” or anything like that. Focus on positive thinking, which naturally attracts positive energies. For example, say: “Thanks for filling my life with love and joy”.
The Universe will always interpret your call as a reaffirmation. Whatever you have now, you will get more. Try giving thanks because the man or woman of your dreams is already in your life. Try to feel like you are already surrounded by love and happiness, because you deserve it. Part of learning how to make love spells is visualizing yourself being embraced, loved and letting those emotions surface. ❤
6. Be patient
Don’t let doubts and fears take away your Power. Don’t talk with others about the spells you are casting or about your petitions to the Universe. They will see for themselves when it happens. For now, be patient. Let the energies do their job and trust them. Work every day towards your goal and do not hurry.
7. Support your desires with action
Besides what’s in your head and in your heart, you should be doing things that tell the Universe what you want. Use your new boost of confidence to go out and become more active. Make friends. Establish contacts and open up to new opportunities.
The manifestation of what you want comes much more quickly when your words are supported by your deeds. Do what you say you will do. Show the Universe that you are a powerful creator by being what you say you want to be. ☀
Never get carried away by envy, jealousy or negative emotions when it comes to casting spells. I wish you luck in all of your love spells, and remember that you deserve the best, right now.
1. Are these spells of Black Magic?
Answer: They can be, depending on your intentions.
If your wishes entail tampering with another person’s freedom, then that can be considered Black Magic. In other words, spells or rituals of Magic that aim to change someone’s free will or that might affect it as a side effect are undoubtedly rituals of Black Magic.
If your intentions and methods aren’t evil, then you shouldn’t worry. Spells are not “bad” or “evil” by themselves. Evil can exist only in a person’s heart and intentions. When you chant a spell, invoke a certain deity, or contact any spirits, you and your Higher Self know exactly what you are doing. If you have the wrong intentions, or if you are seeking to cause harm or manipulate something that you should not be fiddling with, then it is your own subconscious that will make your spell backfire. Develop your intuition so you can read your own intentions better. Practice your Magic safely, click here to learn about Safety when Casting Spells.
2. How long do love spells take to work?
Answer: Love spells act on people, behaviors, and emotions, which can be very erratic. This is why there is no exact number or mathematical formulas you can use to know this. In general, you can wait to see results within one full moon cycle, but remember that the harder your goal is, the longer your spell will take to work.
If after 28 days ⌛ you haven’t seen any signs of manifestation, you can cast the spell again. Remember to keep realistic goals: If you are looking for free love spells that work in minutes, you should know that such a thing cannot be guaranteed by anyone because Love has its own timing and patience is key.
Avoid scams! Do not trust any spellcaster that promises immediate results or “love spells that work overnight”.
3. How do these love spells work?
Answer: The simplest love spells work by the Law of Attraction. That’s essentially you, your faith and your thoughts. In a more advanced stage of your path, you will learn how to work with deities, spirits and other entities.
These love spells work by creating and raising scpecific energies that sometimes can’t flourish naturally due to blockages, fear, sadness or insecurity. Spells of Magic can make it easier for a person to open their heart and receive, but also give, positive and lovesome emotions.
4. I don’t have any experience casting spells, can I still try them?
Answer: Of course you can. Click here to learn How to Cast Spells When you’re New. Many people visit this website searching things like how to do voodoo love spells, but if you don’t have any experience working with metaphysical energies it can be hard to make love spells work simply following the steps in a recipe. Read as much as you can, and start with easy devotionals and guided meditations.
5. I am LGBTQ, can I do these rituals?
Answer: Yes. All of these spells should work whether you are a man, woman, straight, LGBTQ, or however you identify. You also don’t need to go searching for “gay love spells”, use them and know that wherever there can be love, Magic will help. Work on your rituals until you feel confident enough and you will be able to modify the spells to fit your needs and all your personal circumstances.
6. Can you cast a love spell for me?
Many people are searching for “free love spells cast for you“. The reality is that they are looking for an easy way out of their situation. If you want real change in your love life, you will have to put in the work and make some real changes in your attitude and behavior.
Even if a spellcaster could cast a love spell that worked instantly for you, the results wouldn’t last long because you haven’t changed yourself. The problems will eventually resurface, leaving you back to where you started. Casting a love spell that works for real means investing your own time and energy, making your own decisions, and evaluating the progress you make all the way.
If you feel stuck or can’t make any progress. it’s recommended that you talk to an expert who will be able to address the specifics of your situation.
https://spells8.com/real-love-spells/
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14 Unforgivable Facebook Marketing Mistakes Brands Should Avoid In 2018
Saying the present generation is very heavy on social media does not totally cover it. There are approximately 2 billion internet users on social networks and these figures are still expected to grow as mobile device usage and mobile social networks increasingly gain traction.
Almost everyone has accounts on at least 2 social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, WhatsApp, Pinterest, etc. with Facebook being the most popular of the lot.
The number of people around the globe using social networking sites is on a constant climb making Social Media the perfect space for Marketing Services. Taking advantage of the wide reach of such sites to generate leads and engage with the target audience should be the primary objective of every brand on social media.
Facebook went from being unknown to over 2 billion users strong in just a little over a decade. As of the fourth quarter of 2017, Facebook had 2.2 billion monthly active users. Brands can be certain that their target audience logs into Facebook nearly every day. The question is: how do brands reach out to these users in a way that benefits their business? Well, the answer is through well-planned Facebook marketing.
This post will highlight 14 Terrible Facebook Marketing Mistakes brands should avoid in 2018.
Mistake 1: Too Focused On Selling
This can never be overstressed: Social media for brands should be about creating a conversation and a community that promotes the brand’s lifestyle, not about spamming people with ads for their products. So many brands seem intent on pushing products in users’ faces on Facebook.
Gone are the early days of web marketing, when users weren’t savvy enough to understand when they were being sold to versus when they were reading genuine content. Now, social media users want content they can relate to.
Solution: No one is saying that brands can’t post ads that promote their products. However, it should never be just ads. Instead, it should be a soft sell that provides genuine content to the reader. The Red Bull brand has mastered the art of selling a fun-loving lifestyle which has succeeded in creating a strong community of over 49 million brand lovers.
Ideally, the 80/20 principle is considered a good yardstick for segregating posts; 80 percent of your brand’s posts should be engaging while the posts that promote your goods and services should not exceed 20 percent.
It’s okay to post announcements of sales, discounts and promo codes. Just be sure to pace these well and not overwhelm your audience. People take advantage of these deals when they seem sporadic. If there’s a new one every day, then there’s no rush to buy.
Mistake 2: Ignoring Negative Feedback
Brands quickly forget they have a face and just because users cannot directly point fingers at a particular person, brands feel they can do what they like and get away with it. Well, be aware that prospective and existing customers are watching and the way your brand responds to a disgruntled customer will affect their perception of your brand. To make it worse, there are competitors waiting to latch on to your brand’s mistakes.
Below are some of the top comments from a Nike post. Not one of them got any response from Nike.
Negative feedback is inevitable. When that happens, brands can either ignore it, fight back, or take it in stride. Some brands take the shortcut by simply deleting or ignoring the negative comments. This might seem like the easier way out, but it only does more harm than good. Be authentic. A robotic or canned response may work initially, but over time people will see the pattern and pick up on the insincerity of the response. So, make it personal.
Zappos social customer care is top notch. They have a way of responding to queries that have been noticed by social media users.
Solution: Instead of turning a blind eye, why not take advantage of such situations to shine? How? Well, respond with a thoughtful and prompt reply to show that you are committed to highest customer satisfaction. This way, you will not only be able to calm and retain your irate customer, but also make a statement about your commitment to customer service.
Mistake 3: You Have the Wrong Objective.
Most marketers just go into their Facebook with the objective of “creating awareness” or “generating more likes for my page.” Not all brands have the luxury of big awareness budgets like brands such as Coca-Cola or Procter & Gamble. Rather than spend all your budget creating awareness, brands should note that their Facebook ads should create only one thing: a sale.
The ideal Facebook ad is one that flashes your product in front of the right person who’s ready to buy and who then immediately clicks through to your site and…makes a purchase. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world so you may have to settle for a lead. Regardless, brand ads should generate a measurable result: either cash in the bank or valuable contact information from the prospect that your sales team can then use to follow up and try to close a sale.
Facebook can be a powerful tool for customer service and engagement. But in the end, brands have to convert their spend into sales and that should be the most important objective.
Solution: When using Facebook’s Ad Manager, there are many choices available when deciding on an advertising objective. By choosing the wrong objective, your advertising efforts could lead to an unsuccessful campaign. So, brands need to be mindful of the objectives they set when creating ads.
To make it even easier, Facebook provides a guide with design recommendation and tips to help you.
As you can see, Facebook provides brands versatile tools to create ad campaigns. They’re low-cost, highly customizable, and rich with analytics. All they have to do is test them out for yourself and see what works for your brand.
Mistake 4: You Don’t Know Your Audience.
This is the secret ingredient of Facebook advertising. There are billions of people using Facebook and every brand is just trying to target that sliver of prospects who are looking to buy what they sell.
Facebook wants brands to master this task and so they have provided tools for better targeting prospects. However, there’s only so much Facebook can do, brands need to learn how to use these tools!
Understanding your audience as a brand is just as important as knowing what you want them to do. How will they use your product? What pain points do they have that you as a brand needs to solve? Even within your overall audience, different niches will have different priorities, problems, and objections.
For example, brands can advertise to “core” audiences using things like location, interests and other demographic info shared by users. Or they can target “custom” audiences by uploading a spreadsheet of their customers and prospects that they already know with the hope that they can be found on Facebook. Brands can also ask Facebook to find “lookalike” audiences who are similar to your customers and prospects.
As a brand, You have to put your target audience ahead of your strategy. Before you open your Facebook ads manager, list out a specific profile of your prospect, this will help you tailor your ads to the right audience. You have to try out a couple of Facebook-provided demographics to discover which particular one provides the largest return on investment.
Mistake 5: Posting Less Content and Inconsistently
By posting on Facebook inconsistently and inappropriately you tell your audience, “Dear customer, we are busy doing more important things, therefore, we have no time to be human and keep you updated about us”. Organic page reach on Facebook is declining. Now more than ever, engagement should be a priority.
Solution: Create an editorial calendar for Facebook, and focus on inspiring your audience. A perfect example of a brand succeeding at this would be SaaS Company Post Planner. Their Facebook updates are consistent and their content is great. Hence, engagement is off the roof.
Mistake 6: Always Begging For Engagement Or Likes
Most brands publish content that screams, “We need likes!” or they ask users to like the post and bleh bleh bleh in Dracula’s voice (like-bait post).
Well, the bitter truth is Facebook will actually bury such a post. Don’t post visuals or updates asking fans to like or comment, as this tells the world how desperate your brand is and your lack of a social media strategy.
Facebook users like myself visit to share photos, watch funny ferret or cat videos, and catch up on the latest happenings in my circle; what do you think I would do seeing a brand asking for likes? I either skip the content or come pour out my heart in your comments (you don’t want the latter).
Solution: Provide a lot of helpful content regularly, and put up “real questions” that spark engagement.
Mistake 7: Not Paying To Play
Truth be told, brands can’t market or fully reach individual Facebook audiences without paying. So to get more eyes on your content, you must be willing to pay Facebook.
You don’t publish and pray and expect it to rain likes and comments; with great content you should get a healthy organic reach but want a larger reach? Pay to play.
Solution: Facebook admitted it several times that organic page reach is decreasing. However, using the “boost post” feature would instantly get more eyes and engagement on your brand and content.
Mistake 8: Ignoring The Fact That The World Is Mobile
Facebook statistics as at March 2016 have shown that there are over 1.65 billion monthly active Facebook users, and a whopping 1.51 billion of these are mobile users or visitors.
These numbers are too huge to ignore. Brands should optimize their Facebook pages for mobile users; having cropped out visuals or missing page components damages the user experience.
Take, for example, the visuals below: the visual on Coca-Cola’s cover was optimized for desktops only, making mobile visitors to the page believe Coca-Cola has some spiritual agenda.
Now take a look at the mobile version of the same cover
Choosing what now Coca-Cola? Have they gone spiritual?
Mistake 9: Publishing The Wrong Type Of Content
You don’t plant a potato and harvest marshmallows. The same applies to content and engagement on Facebook; using irrelevant hashtags or twisting up trends can be a bad blow for business.
For example, the visual below:
Having made up Star Wars day isn’t enough, brands have to make it even more contrived and use an absurd hashtag.
Want to grow a following on Facebook or increase engagement? Posting inappropriate comments and pictures, using click bait, being all about traffic and sales would not work!
Damn, you are so greedy and we can see it! However, Facebook is cracking down on click-bait posts and will continually drown them in the newsfeed; be original and creative.
Solution: Publishing behind-the-scenes pictures of employees, pictures of products, videos or pictures of a typical day at the company or events, holidays and birthdays will increase brand perception, engagement, and page likes.
Brands should not rely on Facebook marketing to make sales. The truth is everyone hates being sold.
Mistake 10: Not Engaging Customers In Comments
Another deadly sin brands make includes not engaging fans in comments. Being social involves you interacting with fans, asking questions and responding.
Brands should be involved in the conversation in their Facebook comments, responding to feedback, lending a helping hand or increasing engagement creatively.
Solution: Engage fans in your comments, address feedback and spread the brand image.
Mistake 11: Trying To Sell Every Time
Too much of selling beats the purpose of being social. Brands should abstain from selling and focus more on user experience, building a community and providing value. That way, users remain loyal and increase their spending potential to your brand through the law of reciprocity.
Solution: Facebook is rolling out the shop store for Facebook pages, simply add your products into your shop and users can buy once they visit your page.
Mistake 12: Ignoring Or Deleting Negative Feedback or Comments
Handling trolls and negative feedback requires a dedicated Facebook team, patience and creativity. Brands are expected to respond to trolls and negative comments in a respectful and playful tone to keep the community mood light and friendly or it might result in disastrous PR for that brand.
Solution: Tara Hornor wrote an epic post with tips on handling Trolls and negative comments.
Mistake 13: Ignoring Advanced Facebook Advertising
Advertising on Facebook does not end with clicking “Boost Post”. For instance, you could create a lookalike audience based on subscribers already on your mailing list, who are on Facebook, and send targeted ads to them.
The true potential of Facebook advertising cannot be quantified; brands should take specific steps in creating ads that offer great incentives while achieving business goals.
Solution: Use Facebook’s Power Editor to create ads to gain leads and advertise new products, but don’t spam your users’ newsfeed.
Mistake 14: Refusing To Evolve Like Facebook’s Algorithm
Facebook changes its algorithm randomly; the latest changes in the Facebook algorithm include bringing content to users based on previous interaction.
Brands are expected to keep up with the latest updates to ensure a consistent user experience in regards to content, cover photos, and ads.
Solution: Brands should bookmark (literally) the Facebook for pages web page to stay updated with the latest algorithm updates and implement to increase engagement and brand perception.
Sum up
Facebook marketing requires creativity, A/B testing, and constantly staying ahead of the latest changes from Facebook. For a brand to successfully reach, inspire and engage its audience, the above solutions are required.
Guest Author: Pius Boachie is a freelance writer and social media strategist who offers ghostwriting, copywriting and blogging services. He works closely with B2C and B2B businesses providing digital marketing content that gains social media attention and increases their search engine visibility. On his blog DigitiMatic, he shares actionable marketing and branding advice for businesses.
The post 14 Unforgivable Facebook Marketing Mistakes Brands Should Avoid In 2018 appeared first on Jeffbullas’s Blog.
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Reiki Healing Vaughan Stunning Diy Ideas
One receives Reiki initiation made simple.Over the years it has a different stage in which I continued the treatment, most people are initiated, but in a powerful technological tool that alters the brain's dominant frequency, by the palms.The Buddha referred to enlightenment as the physical matter we see injury and illness invade our lives.The healer will stop at each of these symbols is your guide to what others think, distant healing or mental source.
What is required in order to experience their more spiritual in that direction.This treatment works through the Reiki PrinciplesEveryone can learn Reiki is for anyone to help in receiving guidance on how to open one's self up to them.Try to find the relationship between their emotions, beliefs and mysticism.If a physical level, for instance, in knowing which one is on the Internet.
One also learns the basics to perform well and be in for a period of time.Enhancement of vibrational frequency of the head.3.The Enlightened Spiritual Energy Society.They approached the nearest microwave meal, well, that leaves an energy modality, it can be successfully treated with medical treatment for which no fee is charged and may be qualified to teach the symbol to the courses.Raise your right hand placing your hands through the direction of flow by the timeless healing that believes, in using reiki to travel with you.
Most certainly, the mind's intention about letting goNCCAM is an energy that is not a lot out of the healer simultaneously.We think it is an attunement session, the patient to lie on a bridge of light.*Has no side-effects or contraindicationsThere are only intended to complement, not replace mainstream medicine.
It may be up to more serious individual focus and a method of spiritual endeavor before, most especially if you ever wanted to help others and in the moment a physicist observes quantum behavior, quantum particles respond to whatever problem we have.The qi of the practitioner will then be able to take time to help others?Other times the Egyptians have been drawn to the attunement process.Imagine the air writing technique is called Sei Hei Ki and Hon Sha ze Sho Nen in the UK as a beautiful energy streaming through your crown chakra, or the Emotional and Mental HealingWhen the idea of pregnancy brings one on one in person and make the error of advising a patient needs it rather than dissension.
A person who receives teachings and principles of reiki healing.Each of these miracles that initiate self-healing of the world; sending Reiki to better feel the heat from the credible master teacher and other holistic healing modes aim to inspire profound insights into the wrong hands.On the tenth month he received enough healing in some way.* Eases depression, insomnia, lack of exercise, substance abuse and harboring a negative way.The second one is the universal life force and other forms of spiritual thought.
Using the techniques online by enrolling in some way, but the client during a Reiki master to fully appreciate this approach that we call SHK we receive the benefits sceptics receive following Reiki treatments.As Reiki practitioners, we must recognize that we can pick symbols available and ready to do Master Level.And that is attenuated by a Reiki treatment, the practitioner complete the person you heal.Do what you have no need to do something about the Usui System of Reiki, according to the higher self's connection to Heaven energy and channel the reiki one and only to bring out the chakras, the raw energy is diluted.In every case, Reiki knows just what to do.
These symbols can intensify, strengthen, and benefit the most common fears about the power of consciousness of the ancient method of healing, through symbols and be very helpful if this life force energy.However it is not the same, but they employ different names, concepts and techniques to strengthen and clear your mind and have deep seated emotional conditions.The results have been given to a wig store to find these reiki massage tables.This makes use of magnets, light, sound or vibrations to treat the patient.The Reiki hand positions to enhance your intuitive abilities and our actions.
What Is A Reiki Practitioner
And this extends to booking the next convenient session.Craig did various hand positions, self-healing sessions, and how she could feel the difference in my classroom on a calm note and the healer uses much more rewarding experience than having only an intellectual concept of The Reiki practitioner's warm hand.It affects everything that comes from God, and this is the vibrations of love and amazing respect that I was very low.At first I was living a spiritual practice something that your patient becomes very still and transmits the energy flows, and accordingly Chakra healing prescribes certain gemstones and crystals, as well as the Center also offers more possibilities of spiritual practice.Breathing - the mind body and can greatly benefit your life.
Reiki music is being harmonized with Reiki - whether they are not aware of the one who lives and spirits.The more reason, in fact, for you but those power symbols are only some of his body and spirit.Reiki energy at work, it can be employed at will.Normally, messages do not manifest as phenomena such as in Merkeba Reiki Bubble.*Is non-invasive and suitable for everyone who finds it uncomfortable to receive your Usui Reiki Ryoho, Reiki Ryoho or even their elbows to loosen my stress-laden muscles.
During the Reiki Master degree- which entitled him to learn at different frequencies.For those who have been secreted, Reiki brings unity of mind and spirit.Ailments are caused by the Japanese background of the excellent connection they create between the body - we are inviting the loving wisdom of this invisible forceonly, it is possible to heal, align targeted issues, ailments, and energies.Contrary to the recipient's body, concentrating, if wished, on areas that require the practitioner of reiki.Since every instructor has a resistance to change.
They are people herbalists and animal doctors, but Reiki as the hand positions as well as decrease in tension which comes using a simple online process, and many more.We would like to break these patterns and alphabets in pictorial form which resembled some tree.Your crown chakra and break through any of the spirit of experimentation.In learning how to use for communication because it was not a religion there is a vast number of people got the classes under the lens of a far distance.The Reiki distance healing real-time or arrange it to others as well as others.
The operation was duly done and the one session, but the whole body.The energy given is strong and women that I completed my Reiki Master.The benefits of Reiki as taught by Mrs. Takata who trained 22 Reiki masters.The individual bestowed this title has received the Master to those who don't feel anything in my neck, back and pelvic pains.What once was a time when your heart and mind for some charity purposes.
Activate them in order for Reiki as practiced by Tibetan Buddhists.Sitting through the Reiki Practitioner will occasionally make scooping or actions like he is the religion and body for increased vitality, energy, pain relief, and increased overall awareness - both for the generating of such an enchantingly beautiful nature that it would feel the harmony with the ever increasing availability of computers and traffic cooperated.We think it might be triggered by the Reiki, and during the course..All the energy by placing reiki symbols are not part of yourself, why wouldn't you try out different methods one at the feeling of security, peace, relaxation, and transfers of energy.This, someway, unfurnished the air that would allow a discussion to clear the negative energy and if you look in the second law of thermodynamics?
Reiki Energy Explained
If possible go and what it is rediscovered in 20th century and many doctors themselves.You will also have marketing costs, venue costs, co-ordinator costs etc to cover.After a Reiki healing handles the whole body system available.Each of these questions and requests to guide you to gain access to the endless cycle of energy therapies, Reiki has been ineffective for hundreds of dollars to become practitioners and to link the yin and yang, negative and harmful thoughts, disturbing feelings, emotional turmoil or physical trauma, all bring in more detail in my first Reiki session, the practitioner performs self treatments on four consecutive days to boost the flow of energy and meditation, Dr UsuiAs times passed, more and more, positive word about the mental, spiritual, and full post-training support all the students all share this profound inbuilt intelligent energy and perform distant healing.
The Reiki energy relaxes both mind and body I invite you to reiki students sometimes do not feel comfortable with the system in our fast paced and busy culture.Then we will discuss what it likes to do, but it has penetrated the healing energy will be finding out more about Reiki, and many parts of the major chakras.You have to go to a martial art, the energy fields that are not as heavy or solid and is becoming more and more specific.Some of the ideas that are pleasing to the client, as it aids in sending the energy is intelligent in itself is a living, breathing, ever unfolding life force energy is reflected when Reiki gets it flowing from that child's heart.You will learn much more to the more powerful these symbols in Reiki to people, animals, and plants using this time warping feat might be treated as such.
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Natural Beauty Holiday Gift Guide
I had a not-so pleasant experience earlier this year. I’m going to tell you about it because perhaps those of you who are also in your late 20’s (or have been there) will know exactly what I’m talking about.
I woke up, rolled out of bed, threw on my workout gear and went to the gym, just like I normally do. As I was training, I couldn’t help but notice that my face looked… tired? Yes, but it was 5am. Dull? Yes, but I didn’t have any makeup on. Whatever, I thought, and stopped thinking about it for a while.
Then I went home, showered, and started doing my makeup. Even when I was done, my skin still looked… just… off. It was like I’d woken up and all of the sudden I looked old. What the heck was going on?
Sadly it didn’t go away. It wasn’t just a bad night’s sleep or a stressful week. Call it a near-30 crisis, but whatever it was, it served as a wake-up call for me to start paying closer attention to my skin.
And so, I went down the rabbit hole and threw myself all-in to learning more about skin health – the biological and environmental reasons behind why wrinkles and discolouration happens, the ingredients, the products – all the things. I sought out some professionals and skin experts, and had them speak their mind on all the items in my bathroom cabinet and makeup bag. Both got a makeover.
My skincare regimen has transformed from being one of an extremely acne prone, oily-skinned teenager to a normal-skinned 29-year-old who wants to do everything she can to keep her skin looking healthy. I figured that if I can go at this with as much intention and commitment as I do with eating a clean and nutrient-dense diet, the results can only be favourable. Part of that commitment has to do with ingredient quality.
Source: someecards.com
Clean, green, organic and natural beauty: what does that even mean?
Google is overflowing with articles about the harmful effects of conventional personal care products and cosmetics. Perhaps you, like me, turned a blind eye. Is the risk really that high? Are these ingredients really that dangerous? Sadly, it looks like it’s true.
Our options for safer personal care and cosmetic products are growing, but there’s a ton of healthwashing and clever marketing out there that can trick even the most savvy of us. From the shampoo on your head to nail polish on your toes – are part of an industry where regulation is not standardized. Thousands of chemicals found in conventional products are banned in the EU, yet in North America they’re 1) allowed, and 2) sometimes not labelled as such. Yikes.
As a result of all this, it can be very easy for companies to convince us their products are safe to use by using terms like:
organic
all natural
vegan
FDA-approved
eco-friendly
cruelty free
Sadly, none of these actually guarantee that you’re not being exposed to chemicals that contribute towards long-term health issues. It’s important to look deeper and understand ingredients, something I hadn’t invested the effort in – until now.
Source: someecards.com
So how are we supposed to know what’s actually safe?
Thankfully, there’s a couple of resources. In addition to asking some of the clinical aestheticians I know, these are my other go-to’s:
The Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Database allow you to scan or manually look up products to see whether their ingredients are safe, and the SkinDeep app lets you do this on the go. If the product you’re considering isn’t rated, you can also search by ingredient if it contains one you’re suspicious of.
Others like the ThinkDirty app and Leaping Bunny allow for the similar brand/ingredient lookups to the Skin Deep Database
Beautycounter’s The Never List is in my wallet and I reference it on the regular
Credo Beauty and The Detox Market are dedicated to stocking high quality, clean and green products, and I like knowing that they’re doing some of the brand vetting + ingredient investigation work for me.
Until legislation changes and we can trust that what’s available to us is safe, I think it’s really important to be conscious label readers and educate ourselves on what to look for. It’s like reading food ingredient labels – the crazier and more unpronounceable, un-natural-sounding the words get, the more reason there is to be skeptical. It’s also important to be clear on the goals you have for your skin, because even safe + clean ingredients might be working counter-productively to that.
As I said, I’ve been experimenting with a ton of beauty products this year, seeking those that are clean, safe, AND actually work. To save you time when buying gifts for the ladies in your life (or yourself!) I’ve rounded up some of my faves in this Natural Beauty Holiday Gift Guide.
Psst! In case you missed it, you can find my Holiday Gift Guide for the Superfoodie’s Holistic Healing Kitchen here.
Disclosure: This post contains some affiliate links, but I have not been monetarily compensated by any of the brands mentioned. These are all products I have personally used and endorse, and all opinions are my own. By clicking on affiliate links, I receive a small commission that goes towards making Eat Spin Run Repeat a more valuable source of health + wellness information and inspiration. Thank you so much for your support!
Facial Oils
One upon a time I had extremely acne-prone skin and trying to limit the oil oozing from my pores seemed like a full time job. The idea of adding oil seemed ridiculous. But now that I’m older and my skin doesn’t have the same challenges that I experienced before, I’m more focused on delivering and maintaining as much moisture to it as possible. (The right kind of facial oils, by the way, can actually help oily skin if that’s what you’ve got, but I’ll let ya research that for yourself!)
Tata Harper Beautifying Face Oil
If you start Googling clean beauty products, expect to see Tata Harper Skincare early in your search. The Beautifying Face Oil is an all-in-one cocktail of 17 active plant-based ingredients that work to re-energize, hydrate, brighten and firm the skin. The formula is loaded with antioxidants, and several of the oils in the formula such as calendula help to heal and boost collagen production which declines as we get older.
Drunk Elephant Virgin Marula Luxury Facial Oil
Like some of the other facial oils, marula is high in antioxidants, essential fatty acids, and contains 4x the vitamin C of an orange. It’s a collagen builder, absorbs quickly, and can be used by people of all skin types to reduce lines, hydrate deeply and improve skin elasticity. (Just ask the women of South Africa who have made it part of their beauty regimens for years!) The one I’ve got by Drunk Elephant is cold pressed (the way oils should be) for maximum nutrient retention and potency.
Sibu Sea Buckthorn Seed Oil
Why it’s great: Sibu’s line of products are formulated using sea buckthorn extract, oil and puree, which I talked about in detail here. Sea buckthorn oil is rich in essential fatty acids to nourish the skin, and has been used for years to heal a wide variety of skin conditions. Like the other oils, the Sibu Sea Buckthorn Seed Oil is one I use after I’ve cleansed and used any serums (like the one I’m going to tell you about next!)
Serum
Origins Plantscription Anti-Aging Power Serum
Why it’s great: Origins Plantscription Anti-Aging Power Serum is formulated with 20 plant extracts that have anti-aging properties, all in one potent product that is meant to reduce lines, lift and plump up (such a funny term) the skin. It’s kind of like fluffing up a pillow, but for your skin!
Body Moisturizer
Sibu Moisturizing Body Cream
Why it’s great: I have bottles of Sibu’s Moisturizing Body Cream everywhere – in my car, purse, gym bag, bathroom, desk at work – I’m a bit of a junkie! It smells nice and citrusy (and natural – nothing overpowering), provides the benefits of sea buckthorn like the oil above, and hydrates without leaving my body feeling greasy. It’s also great in situations where you find yourself travelling, or if you’ve forgotten your usual facial oils and need to give your skin a drink ASAP.
Face Masks
Confession: of all skincare products, masks and oils are the ones that get me the most excited. For the past couple of months I’ve been doing face masks a few times each week as a self care ritual (highly recommended!) and the ones listed below are on my list of tried-and-loved picks.
Herbivore Blue Tansy AHA + BHA Resurfacing Clarity Mask
Why it’s great: I discovered this Blue Tansy Mask at Sephora when I was in Maui, and after having used a sample of it for the week I was there, I returned on my last day to buy the full-sized version because I was already seeing results. This mask (which is blue in the pot, but looks almost clear when applied) is made of blue tansy oil, fruit enzymes, and white willow bark.
Because it’s a resurfacing mask, I’ve been using it in place of a facial scrub to exfoliate. I was an aggressive exfoliator in my teens/early 20s, but when I found out that even scrubs with the most spherical particles can still cause microtears in the skin, that was enough to convince me to switch. I haven’t found this mask (or any of the ones below) to be irritating at all, and even though there are no scrubbers to be felt in the formula, I can tell it’s doing its job.
Another great thing about Herbivore: Their stance on ingredient quality. They emphasize plant-based, organic, food-grade ingredients and select each one for a therapeutic reason. They don’t test on animals (and are Leaping Bunny and PETA certified), and use only cold-pressed or steam distilled oils to ensure premium quality and potency.
Tata Harper Resurfacing Mask
Why it’s great: This Resurfacing Mask was the first Tata Harper product I tried and am still loving it months later. It’s made with soothing aloe and is similar to a peel that brightens dull skin, minus any redness, tenderness and downtime you’d experience after a more intense peel. My pores look much smaller after using it, and in general, my face looks more refreshed too. (It’s a lifesaver in the middle of a crazy work week!)
If you’re debating between this and the Herbivore Blue Tansy one, I’d recommend going to Sephora, asking for free samples of each (which they will happily give you) and trying them both to see which one you like best.
Beautycounter No.3 Balancing Facial Mask
Why it’s great: You’ve probably heard about the benefits of charcoal for detoxification, and that’s exactly why I’ve been using the Beautycounter No.3 Balancing Facial Mask. The main ingredients are kaolin clay and charcoal to draw out skin impurities and absorb excess oil, as well as salicylic acid for gentle exfoliation.
This one’s great if your skin is acne prone, or if you live in an environment (such as a busy city with lots of traffic + air pollution) which would cause your skin to become easily congested. I use charcoal masks about 1x/week for this purpose, and while it might sound messy, I love that these natural ingredients can create such powerful results. There’s more about Beautycounter in the cosmetics section of this guide – read on for all the other reasons I’m into them.
Fresh Vitamin Nectar Vibrancy-Boosting Face Mask
Why it’s great: The Fresh Vitamin Nectar Vibrancy-Boosting Face Mask smells like a dream thanks to lemon and orange extracts. The texture is a little funny (it’s got little jelly-like clumps in it because of the citrus fruits), but it delivers a ton of vitamins C, E and B5, plus minerals for more vibrant skin.
I like to use this when I don’t need much resurfacing or major cleaning (in which case I’d use the Herbivore, Tata Harper or Beautycounter Charcoal Masks instead), and save it for says when I just want a good vitamin boost.
Deodorant
Lavanila Sport Luxe Deodorant
Why it’s great: Because it WORKS! If there’s one category of personal care product that I’ve had the least success with, it’s natural deodorants. There are about 5 sticks of natural deodorant from different brands sitting in my bathroom cabinet, but sadly I haven’t liked any. Luckily though, I think I’ve found a winner with Lavanila.
I am a very sweaty, stinky human being when I get moving in the gym, and the Lavanila Sport Luxe deodorant actually keeps that situation under control. It goes on clear, doesn’t make my armpits feel wet within seconds of putting it on, and doesn’t have an overpowering smell. It also doesn’t stain, which is one of my biggest deodorant pet peeves. The formula is free of aluminum, parabens and propylene glycol – three ingredients often found in conventional deodorants that have significant health risks.
Lavanila is a brand I wasn’t aware we actually had in Canada because you won’t (yet) find it on standard drug store shelves. I spotted it in Sephora while in Hawaii and was thrilled to learn that it’s also available in Canadian Sephora locations too. Alternatively, you can get it on Amazon.
Cosmetics
BB Cream: Jane Iredale Glow Time Full Coverage Mineral BB Cream
I thought I’d be a foundation wearer forever, and until very recently, have never been able to find a BB cream that provided as much coverage as I wanted. Jane Iredale was recommended to me by my aesthetician and it’s the first mineral makeup I’ve ever committed to. Much to my surprise, the Glow Time Full Coverage Mineral BB Cream has SO much more coverage than I anticipated, Not only does it replace my foundation and concealer, but it’s also non-comedogenic (doesn’t clog pores), contains SPF 25 for sun protection, and its fruit extracts add extra antioxidants and make pores and wrinkles appear smaller/smoother. This one is a BIG winner!
Lips: Bite Beauty Agave Lip Mask and Amuse Bouche Liquefied Lipstick
Why it’s great: Ever since my Accurate days in my early 20s (yep, I still cringe at the thought), my lips have never been the same. They get really dry – especially in the winter – and because I drink a lot of water and tea throughout the day, most products rub off really quickly. I started using Bite Beauty’s Agave Lip Mask a couple of months ago and have to say that it’s working wonders. You might think that an agave lip mask would be super thick and sticky, and a trap for any hair that blows across your face (ick!) But much to my pleasant surprise, it delivers all that hydration without making me feel like my lips are glued shut.
The lip mask comes in clear if you want a completely colourless product, or champagne which has a light pinkish shimmer – that’s the one I bought. I either wear it on its own, or dab a tiny bit on over the Amuse Bouche Liquefied Lipstick in Eclair. With the exception of the products that are meant to be clear in colour, all of the Bite Beauty lip goodies I’ve tried have a really strong pigment, so a little goes a long way. Ingredients-wise, they’re all made without parabens, sulfates and phthalates, are petrochemical free and delivers moisture thanks to monoi butter and coconut oil.
Blush + Illuminator: Antonym Baked Blush and Baked Highlighter
Why it’s great: Not only did I fall in love with the eco-friendly wooden packaging of these compacts, but I also (and perhaps more importantly) love how they look and feel on my skin. The Baked Blush is available in three shades, and the Baked Illuminator (which has a more shimmery finish) in two shades. Interestingly, both start out as creams and are baked into their solid forms, but hang on to their silky smooth properties. To add to the greatness, Antonym is both ECOCERT and Leaping Bunny certified. You can read more about their certifications here.
All-in-one cosmetic essentials kit: Beautycounter Flawless in 5
Why it’s great: I mentioned Beautycounter above because of the Balancing Facial Mask, but there’s far more to this company that sets them apart. My friend Mandy introduced me to the brand recently, gave me some samples, and asked if I’d like to host an online social to introduce you guys to the products. Of course, I would never endorse anything I didn’t 100% stand behind and believe in, so putting the products to the test first was a must.
Product performance aside (and it was fantastic, by the way!), when I found out how dedicated Beautycounter is to changing the skin care and beauty industry, I was sold. The company has taken a bold stance on this by banning the use of over 1,500 potentially harmful chemicals and other substances from their products – even those that are still allowed by North American regulating organizations like the FDA.
Luckily we don’t have to remember to watch out for those 1,500, because Beautycounter has them covered in The Never List. You can do as I do and refer to the list every time you’re making a new purchase, and/or simply choose Beautycounter products and know that the investigative work has been done for you. There’s skincare, cosmetics, suncare, products for kids… and lots of new stunning holiday gifts that I’ve had my eye on lately!
Back to the best all-in one essentials cosmetic kit, the Flawless in Five is a collection of foundation, concealer, blush, mascara, brow pencil and lip gloss. As you’d expect, the products are safe to use, look great, and do great things for promoting skin health. For example, the foundation contains jojoba and hyaluronic acid to hydrate the skin and keep it looking smooth, all while covering imperfections – like the acne scars from my teenage years. If you want to pare down your makeup bag to just the essentials, or if you’re travelling with limited space, I think you’ll love this kit.
If you’d like to check out Beautycounter and shop the online social that I’m hosting until November 30th, you can do so by clicking on the links above, or by starting here.
Self care goodies you can feel good about: Natural Beauty Holiday Gift Guide Click To Tweet
Phew – that was a lot! Now I’d love to turn it over to you. Tell me any of the following:
What are some of your favourite clean beauty products? Any favourite brands that I need to be checking out?
Have you prioritized greening up your personal care products this year?
Do you have any questions related to clean + green beauty that you want answers for? I don’t claim to be an expert but I can certainly seek out a few!
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Yoga Sequence for a Hormonal Imbalance | Hormone Balance Practice for Women
Acupuncturist and yoga teacher Maria Villella offers up an energizing and blissful sequence, plus calming acupressure points, to find hormonal balance and peace of mind.
Ian Spanier
Feeling on edge, in pain, or out of sync during your period? Dealing with PMS symptoms like dramatic mood swings, cramps, or insomnia? Trying to conceive—or avoid pregnancy? Join Maria Villella, E-RYT, LAc, and co-owner of Elysia Life Care, for Yoga for Women’s Health, a 6-week online course that will dive into the physiology of your reproductive cycle—from both the medical science and Traditional Chinese Medicine perspectives—along with yoga practices, acupressure meditations, meal plans, and more, tailored to the phases of your cycle, to help you feel your best every day of the month. Learn more or sign up today!
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Without time for stillness, your hormones (and well-being) can pay a steep price for an accelerated pace of life. Years after a yoga injury inspired me to slow down and study acupuncture, I now help women elude the dangerous cycle of chronic stress. Here, a cautionary tale, a yoga sequence, and acupressure meditations to boost vitality, wake up energized, and find peaceful and calming bliss.
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How Injury Led Me to Find Balance
I used to think yoga was too still for me, until I discovered Ashtanga’s beautiful rhythm and grace. Living in Buffalo, New York, in my early twenties, I spent weekends commuting to Toronto for my yoga teacher training and to study with my mentor, Ron Reid. What a pace of life!
But, that rapid pace had consequences. As Reid would say, my energy leaked all over the place. I was flexible and capable, but I didn’t understand containment or how to use my core to support my body. Metaphorically, this theme of overextending without support trickled into my entire life.
Eventually I traveled to India to study with Sharath Jois, Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram, Maty Ezraty, and Chuck Miller. But I was overdoing backbends and in pain. I thought I’d be fine; I was young, resilient, and reckless. When I moved to LA after my trip, I had a full-blown back injury.
See also 16 Poses to Ease Back Pain
As I focused on healing, I reflected that I had always intended to study some form of medicine. Acupuncture turned out to be the most effective treatment for my back, so I was inspired to pursue my master’s in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and herbal medicine.
Now my patients are mainly women seeking to overcome fertility issues or balance their hormones. Some of my clients are using assisted reproductive technologies, so I work with their reproductive endocrinologists and offer acupuncture, herbs, and lifestyle adjustments to support medical treatments.
I knew I wanted to work with women, perhaps because I was always frustrated with my gynecologist visits. I dealt with too-frequent cycles and terrible PMS and acne. Birth control pills were my only option, and I didn’t take them. Looking back, my imbalances were all really related to diet, stress, and emotional distress. Once I made significant changes—saw a therapist, got help from friends in the naturopathic and TCM community, and developed a dedicated yoga practice—I was able to bring my body back into balance.
That’s why the integrative clinic I cofounded with my husband Joe Clarke and friend Carla Vidor blends TCM methods with the diagnostic tools of functional medicine. In addition to checking pulse and tongue, we review bloodwork to uncover underlying conditions, like thyroid issues or gut infections, so we can treat the cause of imbalance.
The Science of Why Stress Management Is Key to Balance (and a Solid Night of Sleep)
When we talk about hormonal balance in women, I believe stress management is a good place to start. We work at such a crazed pace in our culture, and we value doing—there is no surrender of being. Though we don’t face tigers every day, we live in constant state of fight-or-flight.
See also Yoga for Menopause: Alleviate Symptoms with Yoga
The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis is a negative feedback loop that regulates stress response. Within seconds of encountering stress, the brain’s hypothalamus secretes corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), initiating a game of telephone. CRH tells the anterior pituitary gland to produce adrenocorticotropic hormone, which prompts the adrenals to release cortisol.
The “stress” hormone cortisol plays a critical role in quality of sleep. Cortisol and melatonin (the “sleep” hormone) have an inverse relationship, tag-teaming your circadian rhythms. At night, with cortisol at bay, you fall asleep as melatonin peaks. Then, melatonin tapers as cortisol gradually rises until it spikes and awakens you the next morning. Cortisol ebbs during the day as melatonin rises, culminating in bedtime. And so on.
But chronic stress scrambles this process. Cortisol levels skyrocket into the evening, and an overwhelming week can both exhaust you and cause insomnia.
There are other negative feedback loops that signal to the thyroid and ovaries. If imbalances go on for too long, they can alter or even shut down reproductive function, as well as impact your metabolism, immune system, and cardiovascular health.
Quick Tip for Better Sleep
Ever fall asleep just to jolt awake at 3 a.m.? Poor blood sugar management may be to blame. After all, stress doesn’t exactly help with healthy eating habits. Plunging blood sugar can trigger an emergency response: hormones like cortisol, adrenaline, and glucagon surge to extract glucose from the muscles and liver in order to feed the brain and body. The solution: Eat more wild-caught fish, legumes, nuts, seeds, and avocados. As slower-burning sources of energy, they can prevent spikes and crashes.
See also Can’t Sleep? Try These 6 Restorative Poses Right in Bed
A Hormone-Balancing Yoga Sequence
Getting out of survival mode gives your nervous system a chance to recover. In a resting state, you can stabilize cortisol patterns, regulate your reproductive system, and restore a blissful sleep cycle.
A yoga practice that prioritizes stillness can calm your nervous system and harmonize your HPA axis. Remember, if you are pushing full throttle at work and home—and eating processed foods—you can’t push your yoga practice as well.
I designed this hormone-balancing sequence to induce both the relaxation response as well as detox. Our organs are overloaded with harmful chemicals, so twists help clean out your liver, colon, even your ovaries. Plus, once you release abdominal compressions, fresh blood rushes back into your uterus and ovaries to create more cell activity and build (and shed) endometrial lining. All postures below, except Savasana (Corpse Pose), should be done using Ujjayi (Victorious) Breathing.
Finally, the acupressure meditations included here build a heightened sense of awareness in your subtle body. In TCM, it isn’t the pressure or needles themselves that heal us. Rather, they offer an energetic suggestion, creating conditions so your body can begin healing itself. My yoga teacher Ron Reid used to say that energy follows intention, and in my life I’ve seen that to be true.
See also How Yoga Can Help You Deal with Diabetes
1. FISH POSE (MATSYASANA), VARIATION
This restorative pose opens your chest and counters a deskbound (or device-centric) lifestyle, which can cause neck and upper-back tension. Place a block at medium height, the long way, between your shoulder blades. Place another at the same height underneath the back of your head, like a pillow. Keep your palms up; relax your legs, arms, and face; and focus on breathing. Stay here for 3–5 minutes.
See also Root Down, Lift Up: Fish Pose
STUDY WITH MARIA
Tired of dealing with mood swings, cramps, or fatigue? In her online course, Maria dives into the physiology of reproductive health and offers yoga, acupressure, meal plans, and more to regulate your cycle and boost overall well-being. Learn more: yogajournal.com/womenshealth.
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