#just believe me that this was something ridiculously simple and I could have googled it but I didn't (shame on me) :'D

[rudnitskaia]

Me, frowned and concentrated: ...grbzghagdg...

My husband, sits next to me: Hey, bun. Drawing?

Me: Mm-hm.

Husband, watches for a while: So cool.

Me, relaxing a bit: Thanks, sunshine.

Husband: Why don't you make it like this, though?

Husband, takes my tablet and does some of his graphic designer's magic: See?

Me, like a primeval man that saw a fire for the first time: Eh??? Wh— H O W O____O

Husband, smiles: I'll show you again. That's simple.

Me, with a nervous laughter after a short lesson: ...do you even realize that by teaching me those tricks you've just opened the Pandora's box? :D

[v6quewrlds]

❝ last to know, a. svechnikov. ❞  ‎ ‎ ┉  

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀summary: it's always nice to hear about the canes' team bonding activities. but when andrei comes home with a november challenge, you know the only solution is to kill seth jarvis.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀author's note: yay first svechy fic. hope y'all know that's my baby boy. it's me and google translate against the world <3 this is day one of my no nut november series.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀warnings: smut, please do not interact with my work if you are under 18. language, established relationship, jarvy's an idiot, andrei gets a little grumpy, google translated russian, andrei calls reader kisa (kitten), moya lyubov (my love), and malishka (baby), bratty!reader, dom!svech at the end, choking, oral (fem receiving), fingering, squirting.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀pairing: andrei svechnikov x reader.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀word count: 5.3k.

The evening air was cool, hinting at the early arrival of winter. Inside the cozy apartment, the smell of onions and garlic sizzling in olive oil filled the kitchen. You wore a simple pair of black leggings and an oversized t-shirt as you chopped vegetables for the stir-fry. Your hands moved with precision, each chop echoing in the quiet space. Andrei stood towering over the stove, carefully tossing the chicken in the makeshift wok. His muscular arms flexed with the motion, and you couldn’t help but sneak glances at his broad back.

Andrei caught you staring and winked playfully. "What are you looking at, kisa?" he asked in his deep, accented voice. You rolled your eyes, feigning annoyance, but a smirk danced on your lips.

"Just making sure you don’t burn our dinner," you quipped, tossing a pepper slice in his direction. He chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest. The two of you had been living together for six months now, and your playful back-and-forth banter was as much a part of your daily routine as your career obligations.

"You know I'm better in kitchen than on ice," he said, a smug smile playing on his lips.

You scoffed, throwing a handful of sliced mushrooms into the pan with a dramatic flair. "Right, is that why I've had to clean burnt pans more times in the last six months than I have my entire life?"

Andrei shrugged, his smile growing wider. "You know I'm just teasing, moya lyubov." He reached over and pinched your side gently, making you squeal and swat his hand away. The stress of the day had dissipated, replaced by the warmth of your easy banter. The two of you worked in a harmonious dance, you adding the final touches to the meal while Andrei plated your dinner. You sat down at the small kitchen table, the TV playing highlights from the latest Hurricanes game in the background.

As you ate, your conversation turned to the upcoming team events. Andrei mentioned the Thanksgiving gathering at the captain’s place at the end of the month with a hint of excitement in his voice. "You could not go last year but you will love it, kisa. It's going to be so much fun."

You nodded, swirling your fork through the noodles on your plate. "I’m looking forward to it. But some of the girls were talking about a challenge you guys are doing?" you asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Andrei's face grew slightly red as he took a sip of his water, avoiding eye contact.

"Is just something...stupid," he mumbled. "Some of the guys on the team are trying to not...you know."

Your eyes narrowed, your curiosity piqued. "What do you mean, 'not'?"

Andrei sighed, setting down his fork. "They're doing a thing called 'No Nut November'. It's where you...try, um, not to climax for the whole month."

Your mouth dropped open. "Are you serious?" you exclaimed. "Why on earth would you agree to that?"

Andrei shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed. "Just ispytaniye, you know? The guys talked to me," he said, his English faltering slightly in his bashfulness. "But it is okay. We have fun."

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You knew Andrei had a competitive streak, but this was ridiculous. "So, what, you're just going to ignore me for a whole month for a challenge?" you said, trying to keep the annoyance from your voice.

Andrei looked at you with those puppy dog eyes you had come to love. "Nyet, kisa, it's not like that. We can still...you know, do everything else."

You raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "Everything else?" you questioned. "So, you want to be abstinent for a month because of some dumb bet?"

Andrei looked at you sheepishly. "It is not a bet," he clarified. "Team bonding. Like when we go dry January."

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. "Yeah, but you hate those challenges," you pointed out. "What's the deal with this one?"

Andrei sighed, his shoulders dropping.

"Honey, tell me who put you up to this," you pressed, your voice filled with a mix of amusement and annoyance.

He took a deep breath before admitting, "Jarvy." Your eyes widened with understanding. You were going to kill Seth Jarvis.

You put down your fork and leaned back in your chair. "Why didn't you tell me it was him? Is he bothering you?" you said, your voice filled with the mock concern of a mother tending to her distressed toddler.

Andrei's cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red as he groaned at your tone. "He just was talking, and I thought...I could do it," he said, his voice trailing off.

You studied him for a moment, your expression unreadable. "Alright, fine. You can do your 'No Nut November' thing," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "But you're not getting off that easy."

Andrei looked up, hope flickering in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Your smirk grew more mischievous. "I mean, I'll make sure you really feel like you're participating in this challenge," you said, your voice low and filled with a hint of laughter. Andrei's eyes widened slightly as you pushed your chair back and stood up from the table.

For the next few days, you made it your personal mission to test Andrei's resolve. You wore outfits that you knew would drive him wild, your short shorts and tight tops leaving little to the imagination. You would strut around your apartment, hips swaying with each step, eyes sparkling with amusement at his obvious discomfort. Andrei tried to resist, his eyes darting away whenever you caught him looking, but you could see his jaw clench and his fists tighten.

One evening, after a particularly tiring day of teasing, you lay on the couch with a knowing smirk, your legs crossed and your fingers tracing circles on your bare thigh. Andrei sat in the chair opposite you, his eyes glued to the TV but his mind clearly elsewhere. He cleared his throat, trying to ease the tension that hung in the air like a thick fog.

"Kisa, why do you do this to me?" he murmured, his voice deep with frustration.

Your smirk grew wider as you shrugged. "Just trying to make sure you're really committed to this whole 'challenge,'" you said, emphasizing the last word. You leaned back, your fingers continuing their torturous dance. Andrei's eyes followed the movement, his own eyes darkening with desire.

The tension between the two of you grew palpable. Andrei shifted in his chair, his discomfort clear. "You're being mean, kisa," he said, his voice thick. You sat up, placing your hand on his knee.

"I know, I know," you said, your voice softening with faux understanding. "But think of the prize at the end. You'll have earned it." Andrei groaned, his eyes pleading.

You stood up, your hand sliding over his thigh. "Come on, baby, let's go to bed." You could feel his resistance wavering, and you reveled in the power you held over him.

Andrei's eyes snapped to yours, and for a moment, you thought you had won. But then he leaned back and took a deep breath, his Russian stubbornness shining through. "No, kisa. I finish what I start."

Your smirk faded, replaced with a look of determination. "Fine," you said, your voice a purr. "But I won’t make this easy for you, Andrei."

The next two weeks were a battle of wills. Every move you made was calculated to push Andrei to his breaking point. You would lean over to grab something, giving him a perfect view of your cleavage. You would sit on his lap while you watched movies, your body warm and inviting against his. And each time he'd try to make a move, you would push him away, reminding him of his commitment to the challenge. Andrei's patience grew thinner with every passing day, his eyes darkening with need whenever you were near.

The day of the Thanksgiving gathering finally arrived. Andrei was on edge, his usual stoic, confident demeanor cracking under the pressure of his raging hormones. The two of you arrived at Jordan Staal’s home, the aroma of roasting turkey and sweet potatoes greeting all the guests at the door. You looked stunning in a carefully selected silk dress, your confidence deepening when you saw the other wives and girlfriends' reactions to your attire. You knew Andrei would struggle all night, and you were more than ready to watch him squirm.

As you mingled, the conversation inevitably turned to No Nut November. The other wives and girlfriends laughed at the idea, sharing stories of their partners' failed attempts. Andrei's teammates exchanged knowing glances, and you felt a twinge of annoyance that you were the butt of their private joke. But you held your tongue, smiling sweetly as you listened to their banter.

“You look good, girl.” Gianna, one of the player’s girlfriends, whispered to you with a knowing smile as she passed by with a tray of drinks. The room was filled with the sounds of laughter and the clinking of silverware as everyone stood around in anticipation of the dinner.

“I can’t believe he’s still holding out on you, sweetie. Most of the guys gave up by week two,” one of the wives named Melissa said with a wink.

You couldn’t help but feel a smug sense of pride at the thought of Andrei’s tortured self-control. You took a sip of your wine, watching as he talked with Jordan and his wife, Heather, his eyes occasionally straying to you. You knew he was desperate for release, and you were enjoying every second of his torment.

As the evening progressed, Andrei's touches grew bolder, his hands lingering a little longer on your waist or brushing against your thigh. You would look up at him with a knowing smile, watching him bite back his desire. When you were alone in the kitchen for a brief moment, Andrei leaned down and whispered in your ear, "Kisa, I need you. Let's go home."

Your eyes sparkled with mischief as you leaned back into his touch, your voice a seductive murmur. "But the party's just getting started," you teased. "You're not giving up now, are you?"

Andrei's grip tightened on the countertop, his knuckles white. "I can't...not with you looking so sexy," he admitted, his accent thickening with his arousal. Taking a brief moment to take in his surroundings, Andrei bent down to whisper his plea in Russian into your ear, hoping that the language barrier would shield your conversation from prying eyes and ears.

“Da, ya ponimayu, Andrei,” you whispered back your understanding in what little Russian you knew off the top of your head, your voice dripping with sweetness. “But you need to be stronger than this. Think of the victory you’ll feel when you win the challenge.”

You stepped back, placing the platter of food you had been holding onto the counter with a gentle clink, leaving his hand hovering in the air between you. Andrei’s frustration was palpable, but you felt a thrill of power knowing you had him right where you wanted him.

The dinner was a blur of flavors and forced small talk as Andrei’s eyes followed you around the room. You could feel his gaze on you, his need for you almost tangible. You were enjoying your victory, watching him squirm, his self-control hanging by a thread. As the night went on, the tension grew thicker than the gravy on the turkey.

The two of you found yourselves standing at the edge of the living room, the TV playing a football game neither of you was particularly interested in. Seth Jarvis strolled over, a smug grin plastered on his face. "How's it going, buddy?" he asked, slapping Andrei on the back.

Andrei gritted his teeth. "It's...going," he said through clenched teeth.

Jarvy chuckled. "You know, I didn't think you had it in you. We thought you’d tap out by week one." He winked at you, drawing an eye roll out of you. Andrei's jaw tightened, but before he could say anything, Jarvy cut in again. “We actually bet on it. I lost like a hundred bucks, Svechy. You’re a beast, man."

Andrei's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'we'? Who else is not doing this?"

Jarvy's smirk grew wider. "Well, most of us stopped after the first week. We decided to test how long it would take for you to catch on," he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Your mouth fell open as you threw your head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the room. Andrei's face went red with a mix of embarrassment and anger.

"You asshole," he groaned, visibly annoyed but trying to hold back his self-deprecating laughter. "Why did you not tell me?"

Jarvy shrugged, his grin unabated. "It's not fun if you know, right?" He clapped Andrei on the shoulder before walking away, leaving the Russian standing in stunned silence.

You couldn't help but continue to laugh, the tension of the past few weeks finally breaking. You stepped closer to Andrei, your eyes gleaming with mirth. "So, you've been suffering for nothing?"

Andrei's eyes searched yours, a mix of relief and annoyance swirling in their depths. "It will be worth it," he murmured, pulling you into a tight embrace. You could feel his heart racing against your chest, and you knew that the challenge had pushed him to his limits.

“Maybe this will be a good thing after all,” you whispered into Andrei’s ear, your voice filled with amusement as you wrapped your arms around his waist. You felt his body relax slightly against you, his grip on you tightening for a brief moment before loosening.

Andrei leaned down and kissed your neck, his breath warm against your skin. “Ya budu zhdat’,” he murmured in Russian, his voice thick with need. You giggled, feeling his hard chest against yours.

“You’ll have to wait a little longer, my love,” you said, pulling away with a mischievous smile.

Andrei sighed, his grip on your hips loosening slightly. “You are cruel, kisa,” he said, his eyes still dark with desire. You knew you had won this round, but you couldn’t resist pushing him just a little further. You pushed yourself off the wall, stalking back to the group of wives and girlfriends.

The rest of the night was a blur of laughter and food. The tension between you and Andrei had dissipated slightly, replaced with a newfound excitement. As the guests began to leave, Andrei’s hand found yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gentle rhythm that sent shivers down your spine. You knew what was coming, and you were more than ready.

As you two said your goodbyes to Heather and Jordan, Andrei's grip tightened, pulling you closer. His eyes were dark with desire, and you felt your body responding, your core heating with anticipation. You walked to the car in silence, the crunch of gravel beneath your feet the only sound between the two of you.

The drive home was tense, the air in the car thick with unspoken words. Andrei's eyes never left the road, but you could feel his need for you in every tense line of his body. You leaned over and placed your hand on his thigh, your thumb stroking the fabric of his dress pants. His jaw clenched, but he didn’t move away.

When you arrived at your apartment, Andrei practically dragged you inside, the door slamming shut behind you. He slammed you against the door, his mouth claiming yours in a fiery kiss that left you both gasping for air. You moaned, your hands fisting his hair as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Andrei’s hands roamed your body, desperate to feel every inch of you. He slid the silk dress up your thighs, his rough palms grazing your soft skin. Your breath hitched as his thumb brushed against the lace of your panties.

"Now, kisa?" he growled, his voice a mix of need and frustration. You could feel his arousal pressing against you, and you knew you couldn't wait any longer either.

With a sly smile, you whispered, "Alright, let's go to the bedroom."

Your passionate kisses didn't stop as you stumbled down the hallway, Andrei’s hands moving to peel off your dress, his desire unbridled. As you reached the bedroom, the dress fell to the floor in a puddle of silk, revealing your barely-there lingerie. Your heart raced, your body craving his touch.

Andrei laid you on the bed, his eyes dark with want. His fingers traced the outline of your bra, his thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples. He leaned down, his breath hot against your skin as he whispered in Russian, his voice deep and demanding. Your back arched, your eyes closing in pleasure as you felt his mouth replace his hands.

He kissed a path down your body, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of your stomach before he reached the apex of your thighs. You could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, your body begging for his touch. Andrei didn’t disappoint, his mouth closing over your clit through your sheer panties, his tongue flicking and teasing until you were moaning his name.

Your hands were in his hair, guiding him, urging him on as he devoured you. You could feel the warmth of his breath, the softness of his lips, and the roughness of his prickly stubble. Your legs trembled, and you knew you were close to the edge. But Andrei had other plans. He pulled away, his eyes smoldering as he removed your underwear, tossing it aside.

“I want to see you come apart for me, kisa,” he murmured in your ear, his voice thick with lust. “My way of saying sorry.”

Your eyes flew open, meeting his intense gaze. You could feel his hands on your thighs, spreading your legs wider, exposing you to his hungry eyes. Andrei leaned down, his mouth replacing his thumb, his tongue delving deep into your folds. Your grip on the bedsheets tightened as waves of pleasure crashed over you, your body responding to his every touch.

Andrei took his time, savoring every gasp and moan that escaped your lips. His tongue danced around your clit, flicking and swirling, driving you closer to the brink of orgasm. Your hips bucked against his face, your legs tightening around his head, urging him to never stop. The room was filled with the sound of your ragged breaths, the smell of your desire thick in the air.

“Dai, Andrei, please,” you begged, your voice a breathless whisper. Your body was a tight coil, wound up by the masterful way he teased you. Andrei chuckled darkly, his eyes glued to your glistening pussy as he added a finger to the mix, sliding it in and out of you with a rhythm that matched his tongue.

Your eyes rolled back, and you bit your lip to keep from screaming out. His finger curled inside you, finding your sweet spot, and you could feel the orgasm building, ready to crash down on you like a wave. Andrei’s other hand found your breast, squeezing and playing with your nipple, sending sparks of pleasure to your core.

With a final, desperate plea, you came, your body shaking with the intensity of your climax. Andrei didn’t stop, his tongue and finger working in unison until you were nothing but a trembling mess beneath him.

Pulling away, he gave you a satisfied smirk, his eyes gleaming with triumph. Russian rolled off his tongue, “Ya zastavil tebya zhdat' slishkom dolgo, moy milyy kotenok, hmm?” He licked his lips, savoring your taste.

You could only nod, catching the phrase ‘made you wait too long’ and ‘kitten’, your breathing still erratic. Andrei leaned down and kissed you deeply, his tongue sliding against yours, sharing the flavor of your desire. You felt his erection pressing into your thigh, and you reached down to stroke him, your hand wrapping around his thick length.

He groaned into your mouth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. "Malishka," he murmured, his voice strained. He pushed your hand away, standing up to remove his own clothes. His pants hit the floor, revealing his boxer briefs, the outline of his hard cock clear. He stepped out of them, standing before you naked and proud.

You took in the sight of him, your eyes lingering on his toned abs, the V that dipped down to his shaft, the heavy erection that stood tall between his legs. You licked your lips, feeling your arousal spike again. Andrei climbed onto the bed, his movements swift and purposeful.

He positioned himself between your legs, his cock poised at your entrance. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of you, spread out before him, your chest heaving with every breath, your skin flushed from the orgasm he’d just given you. He leaned down, whispering something in Russian that you didn’t understand, but the way his voice vibrated against your skin sent shivers down your spine.

Andrei slid into you with a groan, his thickness stretching you deliciously. Your nails dug into the bed, your body arching to meet his, your eyes boring into his. He began to move, his strokes deep and measured, each one pushing you closer to another peak.

“Andrei, faster,” you panted, your eyes fluttering shut. You felt his hand wrap around your throat, gently squeezing as his other hand found your clit, his thumb pressing down firmly.

"Open your eyes, kisa," he ordered, his voice gruff with need. Your eyes snapped open, locking onto his as he began to thrust harder, his hips moving with a fierce rhythm that matched the pounding of your heart. His thumb on your clit grew more insistent, the pressure just right to send you spiraling toward another orgasm.

Andrei’s grip on your throat tightened slightly, his eyes focused on yours as he whispered, “You want me to make you feel good, malishka?”

Your eyes widened, the dominance in his voice sending a thrill through you. You nodded, your body already obeying his command. He picked up his pace, his strokes growing more erratic as his own climax approached. You felt yourself teetering on the edge, your muscles clenching around him, your walls contracting as you fought for release.

Andrei’s thumb played with your clit with renewed vigor, his hips slamming into you as he claimed your mouth in a bruising kiss. You could feel his cock swell even further, the pink, angry head brushing against your g-spot with every thrust. The hand on your throat tightened, cutting off your air, and making you lightheaded with desire.

He growled in approval, his own climax still a ways off. Andrei’s strokes grew erratic, his movements more primal as he chased his release. Your eyes remained locked with his, the connection between the two of you intense and unbreakable. You could feel the sweat trickling down your spine, your body begging for more, even as you trembled from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

With a sudden movement, Andrei pulled out of you, flipping you onto your stomach with surprising agility. You yelped in surprise, but before you could protest, you felt the head of his cock nudge against your slick entrance from behind. "Andrei," you whined, your voice a mix of pleasure and frustration.

He chuckled darkly. "You want more, kisa?" He didn’t wait for a response before slamming back into you, his hips slapping against your ass. Your moan was muffled by the pillow Andrei had buried your face into. The angle was new, the sensations overwhelming. Each thrust hit deeper than before, sending waves of pleasure through your body.

Your hands strained against the pillow, pushing yourself back to meet him as he claimed you from behind. You could feel the heat of Andrei’s body surrounding you, his muscles flexing and releasing as he moved in a punishing rhythm. His grip on your hips was firm, guiding your body to his will, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered words that only added to the erotic symphony of your lovemaking.

"Do you want to touch me? Do you want to feel how hard I am for you?" Andrei’s voice was a gruff whisper in your ear as he pounded into you, his hand reaching around to stroke your clit again. You nodded frantically, your voice lost in the pillow.

"Vpered, prodolzhat'," Andrei hummed over you, giving you the permission you craved to reach out and feel his skin on yours.

You reached behind yourself, your hand finding his forearm, the muscles tight with effort. Your fingertips danced along the slick skin, feeling the power in every flex of his bicep as he pounded into you. The sensation of his cock filling you from this angle was exquisite, and you could feel your body responding, already building towards another peak.

Impatient, Andrei yanked you up by your arms, so you were on your knees, your breasts bouncing with each thrust. You moaned, your hands reaching back to grip his hips, your nails digging into his skin. He groaned, his movements growing more urgent. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, a testament to your passion.

"Harder," you gasped, your body begging for more. Andrei obliged, his strokes growing rougher, his grip on your hips tightening. You could feel his cock swell even further, his balls slapping against your clit with each powerful thrust. Your body was on fire, your orgasm building again.

Andrei leaned over you, his chest pressing against your back, his mouth at your ear. "Khoroshiy?" he murmured in Russian, his voice sending shivers down your spine as he asked if you were good. You nodded, your body tightening as you approached the edge once more, unable to form words to respond to him.

He whispered something else you couldn’t process, and you felt him shift his angle, his cock brushing against that sensitive spot deep within you. A whiny moan escaped your lips, and your head fell back against your boyfriend's shoulder. Andrei’s breath grew ragged, his hips moving in a punishing rhythm that had your toes curling.

"Come for me," he demanded, his fingers trailing up to your throat once more. The gentle pressure was enough to send you spiraling over the edge, your body convulsing around his. Your scream of pleasure was broken as it fought its way through your constricted airway. Your soul practically left your body, the orgasm so intense it was almost painful. You could feel the fluid leaving your body, dampening the sheets as droplets landed on Andrei who simply grunted, his strokes never slowing.

"Andrei," you panted, your voice hoarse from screaming. He leaned down, kissing the side of your neck, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin. "Ya lyublyu tebya, kisa," he murmured, his voice thick with passion.

"Love you," you hummed, your words faltering as you came down from your orgasm.

You felt his thumb tracing lazy circles against your pulse point. His other hand found your clit, his movements precise and demanding. Your body responded instantly, your hips bucking back to meet his. You could feel him smiling against your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

When you finally came back to Earth, you could feel Andrew’s cum sticking to your thighs. You collapsed onto the bed with a sigh, your legs quivering, your breathing ragged. "I didn’t even realize you came too," you murmured, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

Andrei pulled out, his cock glistening with your combined juices. He didn’t bother to cover himself as he stumbled over to the bathroom to clean up. When he returned, he was still hard, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his aroused state. You had never seen him like this before, so raw and needy. It was both interesting and exhilarating.

He climbed back onto the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. He reached out, his hand grabbing the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your foreheads were touching. His voice was low and gruff as he whispered, "You think this is funny?"

Your smile grew wider, your eyes sparkling with mischief. "A little," you admitted. Andrei’s grip tightened, but you didn’t flinch, your own desire sparking for a brief second as you felt his length finally begin to soften against your leg.

"Legs," Andrei hummed, instructing you to open up so he could clean you up. You giggled, your cheeks flushed with pleasure and a hint of embarrassment, spreading your legs wider for him. His gentle touch and the cool cloth against your sensitive skin were a cool relief from the fiery passion you had just shared. He took his time, wiping away every trace of your lovemaking, his focus on taking care of you in the aftermath of your passion.

Once you were cleaned up, Andrei lay beside you, pulling you into his arms. His chest was still heaving, his heart racing from the intensity of your encounter. Your eyes drifted shut, a contented sigh escaping your lips as you felt the warmth of his body envelop you. His hand caressed your back, his thumb making soothing circles that had you melting into him.

The two of you lay there, basking in the afterglow, your skin sticky with sweat, the scent of sex heavy in the air. Andrei’s arm was wrapped around your waist, his leg thrown over yours in a possessive manner. You felt his breath against your neck, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. It was moments like these you cherished, the quiet moments after passion had taken over, when your bodies were still joined, your hearts beating as one.

“Why did you do this to me?” Andrei’s voice was a mix of playfulness and exasperation. You chuckled, turning your head to look at him.

“Me? Do this to you?” you replied, feigned innocence in your tone. You wiggled closer, your eyes sparkling to match the cheeky smile that graced your face. “You’re the one who started this whole 'No Nut November' thing. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t forgetting how good we are together.”

Andrei sighed, his hand tightening briefly around your waist before he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I never forget, kisa,” he murmured, his voice thick with appreciation. You felt a warmth spread through you, his pet name for you a sweet reminder of his affection. You snuggled closer, enjoying the feeling of his arms around you.

For a moment, you lay in silence, the only sound the distant murmur of the Raleigh nightlife. Then Andrei spoke up, his tone more serious. “No more challenges for me.”

You raised an eyebrow, looking at him with a hint of skepticism. “What about your pride, Svech?” you teased, using his nickname.

“You are my pride, kisa,” he replied, his eyes never leaving yours. There was a vulnerability in his gaze that you hadn’t seen before, and it made your heart race.

You leaned up on your elbow, studying his face. “Really?” you whispered, your voice filled with wonder. Andrei nodded, his thumb brushing over your full bottom lip.

“You win, kisa. I can’t resist you, and I don’t want to.” His eyes searched yours, a silent promise in their depths. You felt your heart swell, the love you felt for him overwhelming you. You leaned in, your lips pressing to his in a gentle kiss. It was filled with all the love and passion you felt for this man who had stumbled into your life and turned it upside down in the best way possible.

Andrei’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, and deepening the kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth, dancing with yours in a silent apology for his earlier stubbornness. You melted into the embrace, your bodies still humming together from the show of your love.

[cathulhu-collective]

what exactly are you trying to claim with that peerblock shit? that the government is stalking you or something? also, do you know how easy screenshots are to fake? that isn’t proof of anything.

Before I answer this....would any answer in the entire would be believable to you? I highly doubt it.

I'm not going to tell my whole story. You wouldn't believe it, and to be perfectly honest I wouldn't blame you. To prove it to the point a stranger would take me seriously, I'd have to compromise myself greatly. You think those (fake? lmao) screenshots are the only thing I have I could show? Of course not.

Not worth it obviously. But I'll tell you what I am. I am a guinea pig. I was even asked whether I wanted to be one. You can safely assume I didn't understand the full nature of what I was agreeing to.

Because everyone just assumes I'm some skitzo when I talk about it, it doesn't fuckin' matter what I say to you. Due to places like r/stoogecringe people like me don't get anyone taking them seriously and thus there is no chance for any real exposure. Hence why I am not ever gonna get any "trouble" for sharing. You will assume I'm crazy. I just wanted an outlet to vent - here. But if you want to challenge me, I can more than rise to that occasion. Because I am actually not full of shit. I know exactly what I am talking about.

You probably have in mind people who talk about electronic warfare, psychotronic weapons. They do exist, easily provable with patents, but, that isn't what I'm here to talk about. That can be someone else's soap box. I've been psychologically tortured IRL several times, by real "BSCT" - programmed, tortured, tested on, in real facilities. Of course people like r/systemcringe wouldn't believe this. Frankly, I'm not asking you to believe me. If you didn't post me to the dumb website I wouldn't have gone on a tangent arguing for the reality of these/my experiences in the first place.

But I am quite sick of the people on r/systemcringe parroting this complete lie that there is no such thing as psychological programming. Trust me, you're not clever for holding an opinion like that. As I showed in my first post, brainwashing is in the actual literal dsm. Also? These are all based off of very simple principles of psychology....like classical/operant conditioning and behavioralist,skinner box style, techniques. Remember Pavlov's dogs or......?

Really.... If you simply extrapolate a little, it'd be obvious there's literally nothing far fetched about coercive control and it's actually of great interest almost unilaterally in the community of psychologists and psychiatrists outside of the clinical / therapeutic fields.

Think about it. Just use logic. There are therapeutic techniques meant to be applied to help a person recover from disorders and/or improve their quality of living. This is the normal psychology, the one everyone is very comfortable with. The techniques used are voluntary and meant to help a person.

Flip it on its head. It's so simple. Just invert it. Can you use it to help someone? Yes? Then you can use it to hurt them. Easy. Simple. R/systems cringe is only in denial of this because it is an echo chamber that cannot be questioned without ridicule, let alone an actual debate (nobody wants to be downvoted into oblivion, get real). You all think that there's no such thing as coercive control, even though it is demonstrably and easily proven wrong by a simple google search, because you don't get outside of the little bubble you've penned yourselves in. It's laughable.

Even if you believe 0% of my story, you can't reject the simple facts I've laid out. Even basic logic would get you to the right conclusion. I've stayed away from the reddit and left y'all to your own devices because it's not worth trying to convert fools, but I won't suffer them either.

The screenshots? I can't prove they are real, obviously, by giving you more. I could screen record, though, would you like that? I'm sure you'll come up with some other reason that it is fake but I'll provide it anyhow. Be sure to note the day and time. This is just a random minute....of right now. as I'm about to hit post.

In conclusion: I'll continue to answer asks, but, I really would prefer your subreddit of amateur civilian armchair psych stooges (who didn't even know OSDD 2 is a thing??) just leave me to vent.

(People of the site who are genuinely interested are more than welcome to engage)

[the-firebird69]

osterman etymology - Google Search

"German: topographic name denoting someone who lived to the east of a settlement or who had immigrated from the east from Middle High German oster 'eastern' + …

Ostermann Family History - Ancestry

Ancestry

The last name Osterman is of German origin and means "easter man," derived from the Old German word "ôstari" which means Easter."

https://www.google.com/search?q=osterman+etymology&client=ms-android-cricket-us-rvc3&sca_esv=14f034d23f0af08e&sxsrf=ACQVn0_LSVp3_etSVSg2fC987l6G_3g4vw:1708466831992&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjLlob19rqEAxXw_8kDHdm7AUcQ0pQJCBQ&biw=360&bih=648&dpr=2#:~:text=German%3A%20topographic%20name,means%20Easter.

Not sure if it means the east coast of USA or the Eastern continent I believe it means the east coast of the USA as he's a native as was seen earlier where he presented a native American out of spite and hate when it's really him in the painting and he is an Eastern or native of the United States not from York he's from New York and it says the firebird lands on the sand and York but it's really New York and that's what the max are saying the second part but in this instance with regards to Trump they're saying that he is a man from the East Coast and he is John and they've been treating him like that

Zues Hera

Says it's not done explaining it yet I know what the rest of it is osterman company and it's a controls company and he knows about it but he wants to look it up to see where it is and what they do cuz controls for our ships and we use basically osterman so he says okay what does John osterman company mean it means something that you're some sort of vehicle for them.. so it's our controls for our ships and what they're saying is related to John osterman but it's osterman weekend first which is a movie about us hiding in the house and trying to fight people off no I'm attacking people and it's me who supposedly the good guy is not right either I know how I'm attacking but suddenly makes sense to me you have to add some things together to get part of it I'm going around attacking people and I become like a w**** and people go after me and I go after them and it's a cycle and that's what it is and he says a John is someone who glows out and pays for sex so you're right but Tommy f was after the controls before and for some reason I think he uses yours and that's ridiculous but I think he does so I'm there and I'm paying someone to have sex with me and it is Tommy f and I get it so I hit and then they counter and they're trying to get him to arm the ships so he brings them up they disable them and use a false flag and now it makes sense. But what about John osterman being disassembled okay that's the part that exposed what they're doing and I didn't do it on purpose and it seems like my friend Dave did by making clones just like me who think they can take over and he knows about the clone effect and we're doing it to him a little with his kids perfect fairly Sharp so I'm starting to get something if I don't want to know something just sit there and be mean that's true too well there's a huge thing going on and this fits in with everything it makes sense and their angle they know the clone effects very well and did it to Tommy f and it's probably the max and you're saying that they could have made these clothes to do that what time left the phone effect too either way what I'm doing is for some reason going to be discontinued and he says that's the simple part they no longer need osterman which is a way of saying the man from the East. And the references they're making to Dave where he's to blame for cloning what she might be might say they no longer need Jesus and I'm not Jesus but they are referencing the scapegoat concept of Jesus and you guys but more so JC and they're threatening me to threaten the computers and Dave and Carol to get to the secret of theirs and dispose of them and others like it. But mostly him. Let me see what you're saying me being around is a pain and getting hit all the time is the pain cuz it keeps saying it's about you and yours think about how I feel about it if you're not here I'm not here so this is going to suck

Trump

That's good I figured it out that's the whole thing

Dan

Olympus permission to print granted

I hope you know that you suck for not figuring this out it's here in black and white and they're very loud about it and they say it to you and you should have told people and it's getting to be too late Trump

Hera

I can't stand it these movies are going to lead to it

Trump

[anitabyars]

Tight Spot by Stacey Lynn is now live!

When a fake relationship feels a little too real…. I’m in a Tight Spot.

I’m not a nice guy. I’m too rude. Too gruff. I want to be left alone and stay in my lane as one of the best tight ends in the NFL. Too bad management has a sudden problem with my image and all the fines I’ve been racking up.

Now I’m told I need to settle down, shape up…or they’re shipping me out.

Except no playbook could have prepared me for the Hail Mary pass they threw at me:

Enter Hailey Parillo. My fake girlfriend. She’s the Sunshine to my Grump, the Sweet to my Sour and the Smile to my Scowl. As ridiculous as it is, she agrees to play this fake game with me, for something in return:

Lessons in seducing a man and losing her virginity.

I almost balk at the idea, but I've got a career I don't want to lose in a city I don't want to leave.

AND little did I know this is the most important game of my life.

Download today on Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and Kobo!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3isQV57

Apple Books: https://apple.co/3IEi93m

Nook: http://bit.ly/3imT6at

Kobo: http://bit.ly/3jY1QUI

Google Play: http://bit.ly/3X3VfqA

Add to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/3w9Jza5

Meet Stacey

Stacey Lynn likes her coffee with a dash of sugar, her heroes with a side of bossy, and her wine a deep shade of red.

The author of over thirty romance novels, many of which have been best-selling titles on Amazon, AppleBooks, and Barnes & Noble, she loves being able to turn her vivid imagination into a career that brings entertainment and joy to her readers. Focused on sports romance and emotional, small-town romance, she also loves stretching herself in different genres.

Born in Texas and raised in the Midwest, she now makes her home in North Carolina and loves all things Southern. Together with her ultimate tall, dark, and handsome hero, she has four children. Her life is a chaotic mess that fights with her Type-A, list-making, neurotically organized preferences and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Connect with Stacey

Website: www.staceylynnbooks.com

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6995826.Stacey_Lynn

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Stacey-Lynn/e/B00CD6VVQG/

Facebook: www.facebook.com/staceylynnbooks

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/staceyssultryreaders/

Instagram: www.instagram.com/staceylynn.author

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/staceylynnbooks

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@staceylynnbooks

Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/stacey-lynn

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/staceylynnbooks/_created/

My Review

5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I loved Hailey and Dawson! … These two had explosive chemistry! They were such awesome characters with big hearts, romantic gestures and a whole lot of sweetness. It was all so entertaining. There is an ease to it that was really engaging making me want more and more. I couldn’t help swooning hard for Dawson! Their fake relationship brought all the feels, filled with emotion, the teasing, the passion and some steamy scenes. Seriously you will fall in love with Hailey and Dawson!

Dawson Butler prides himself as being one of the best tight ends in the NFL but when the Nashville Steel management has a problem with his image and all the fines he has been racking up, he’s told to settle down, shape up or they will be shipping him elsewhere. And he is not ready to leave his team or Nashville. Now he just needed to find a simple, quiet, believable, girlfriend who didn’t want forever and plaster their fake, happy relationship all over social media, proving he has changed his ways. But he sure wasn’t counting on this beauty!

After a six year relationship Hailey was ghosted at the altar two months ago. Now her friend Meredith who ran the most successful romantic dating match service in the area was set on getting her back out into the dating world. Hailey was determined to make it completely impossible for her friend to deliver, she came up with a list…drop-dead sexy, a little bit rough looking, strong, tattoos, a piercing, possessive, a body that showed confidence in his ability to please a woman, but who wasn’t looking for forever. Because all she really needed was a man who would teach her how to seduce a man…and a man to finally take her virginity.

You are going to love these two together! I just couldn’t get enough of Hailey and Dawson! And now I am anxiously waiting for the next book in this series!!!

I received an early copy and this is my honest review.

[thedisneychef]

Bake Disneyland's Famous Snickerdoodle Cookies at Home

Today’s recipe is something of a milestone… Believe it or not, this is,  hands down, without a doubt the recipe I get the most requests for. Seriously. More than Dole Whips, Le Cellier Soup, and The Grey Stuff combined. Literally, there was a point where I was getting a request for the recipe to these simple little cookies once or twice a week. Even as I type this, I check my inbox on Facebook to see not one, but two more requests from fans for these cookies  I can’t explain it More Delicious Recipes You Will Love: - Disneyland Sweet Cornbread Recipe – Disneyland - Dole Whip – Aloha Isle - Dole Whip Float – Aloha Isle I’ll admit, for a period of time I thought these requests were from the same couple of people (most likely related to The Cookie Monster in some way) made over and over and over again, but a quick little search on Google shows that these bad boys are the center of many a recipe request online, from Yahoo! Answers to Facebook and Disney food-related websites. For some reason, these little cookies have quite the cult following. So why didn’t I share the recipe before now? Well, quite simply…  I didn’t have it. And despite all claims to the contrary, very few had what could be nailed down as the legitimate, one-and-only famous Disney Snickerdoodle recipe. Again you may ask why…The reasons, as best I could uncover anyway, was because for the longest time the cookies were not made by Disney. They were brought in pre-made and pre-cooked (or pre-made but frozen for quick baking) from an outside vendor. I know this is an earth-shattering revelation for many, but it’s true. Even at places where you could find them on a rack, safely tucked on wax paper behind the sparking glass of the bakery display case, the chances were high that sweet looking little cookie was made somewhere other than Minnie’s on-site bake shop. Then sometime in the last 10ish years, Disney switched back to making these on-site again (in limited batches, available only in certain spots). But when it came to handing out the recipe, there were still roadblocks to overcome. The measurements they used were designed for batch sizes in the hundreds. As one can imagine, condensing down a recipe that makes 500+ cookies to a more household chef-friendly batch of 24 presents specific challenges. After developing a “sorry, I don’t have the recipe for Disneyland’s Snickerdoodles” form letter (again, not joking), I kind of gave up the idea of ever nailing down this treat. Such is the way with many Disney baked goods… The home chef version of the recipe was just not meant to be. Then, a breakthrough. I was looking for an email that I thought landed in my SPAM box and I just happened to find a message from Disney Guest Relations. Inside, the practically perfect and ridiculously pleasant response by one of the fantastic folks at Disney, happily sharing Disneyland’s Snickerdoodle recipe. Um…. Whaaaat? I didn’t even remember sending the email that asked for the recipe. I was stunned, but thrilled. Oh and by the way, the email they replied to was sent 6/28/2012. That’s right, they replied to an email I sent two years ago asking for this recipe. Am I the only one who thinks that’s amazing? After getting this recipe from Disney, a recipe people have been asking me about for years, an easy recipe with no exotic or expensive ingredients, a recipe that happens to be my son’s favorite type of cookie, you’d think I dropped everything and rushed to make it. Think again. Actually, I sat on it for another two or three months before deciding to try it out today. Because I’m just awesome like that. I won’t go into great detail about this because apparently everybody but me was on the “these are the most amazing cookies of all time” bandwagon well before me. Needless to say, these cookies are pretty darn amazing, they’re easy to make, and they’re even easier to sit down and eat. No real tricks to this, other than to make sure the butter is room temperature, not cold or melted. Also, trust the timing on these… The recipe says 8 minutes, but on my first batch, I was expecting something more browned so I left them in for 12 minutes. They were good, but crunchy, and they never got browned like I thought they would. The next batch I left in for exactly 8 minutes, and even though every fiber of my body screamed that they were underdone… Actually, they were perfect. And, I’m happy to say, this recipe allows me to use one of my few baking “tricks.” When it comes to rolling and then flattening these cookies, it’s hard to get that perfect “smush,” where the cookie’s thickness is even, it’s round, and there are no unsightly fingerprints on the dough (which also show up on the cookie after it’s baked). My solution? Use the flat bottom of a glass or cup to smush the cookies. I actually used one of those retro-style Coke fountain glasses from the dollar store. I got perfectly smushed cookies every time. So, here it is, after years of waiting, multiple requests, and countless hours of research thwarted by Disney’s reply to an email sent several years ago… The recipe to the Disneyland Snickerdoodle. Now here’s hoping all the people that requested this over the years don’t stop reading the website because I granted their wish. Maybe if I drop the bombshell that I have the Minnie’s Bakery chocolate chip supreme recipe people will hang out for another couple of years until I decide to try that one out? Conclusion In conclusion, baking Disneyland's famous snickerdoodle cookies at home is a fun and delicious way to bring the magic of the park into your own kitchen. This recipe has been tried and tested by many home cooks and has been proven to be easy to follow and produce delicious results. The cookies are soft and chewy with a perfect balance of cinnamon and sugar, making them a crowd-pleaser for all ages. Baking these cookies at home also provides an opportunity to customize the recipe to suit your own taste preferences, such as adding a touch of nutmeg or using a different type of sugar. Overall, Disneyland's snickerdoodle cookie recipe is a must-try for anyone who loves cookies and wants to experience a taste of the happiest place on earth from the comfort of their own home. In addition to the delicious food and recipes, Disney World is also known for its unique dining experiences, such as character dining and themed restaurants. Whether you want to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse, dine in a replica of a sci-fi drive-in theater at Hollywood Studios, or enjoy a meal with an ocean view at the Coral Reef Restaurant in Epcot, there's something for everyone. And with the help of Recipes Today and the How to Make category, you can even recreate some of these magical dining experiences in your own home. So why not start planning your next Disney-inspired meal or dining experience today? Read the full article

[selenasgcmezz]

Completely rage inducing. Knowing the thing you've been working so hard on isn't going to stand a fair chance because of some narrow minded ridicule is a terrible feeling, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Do you think these people realise they're only really boxing themselves into a boring existence, or do you reckon they're too stubborn to admit that? I understand enjoying the nostalgic feelings old episodes can give a person, but trying to new one's doesn't take away from the ones that existed in the past. Can't completely say I understand the mindset of people who do that, but maybe that's for the best. I'll happily embrace the new material and if it let's me down, I haven't lost anything. The older stuff is still around. There's a certain appeal about a TV show that can constantly evolve. There aren't many shows from the 60's that are still as relevant, if not more so today. It's like Doctor Who is The Beatles of the TV world if that makes sense. Everyone has heard of it and the actors live in infamy. I've never taken on a project that held such a rich history, so I can only imagine how daunting it was for you once you realised the significance. Luckily, you managed it well. Watching the show, you'd never be able to tell you were nervous. You embodied that role perfectly, and that's something you should be so damn proud of. I'm happy to hear that you still have so much love for that show and your part in it. Yeah, Google is my best friend at this point. Having that kind of reach on social media is fun in theory, but when you realise what that actually means, the weight of it feels pretty heavy. There's always this voice in the back of my mind questioning why out of everyone, I've earned that. I'm just some random girl from Texas who wanted to play make believe. A detox does sound pretty great, maybe you're on to something. At the minute, I don't think I stand a chance. I have a lot going on with Rare Beauty and promoting Emilia Pérez, but once that chaos has calmed down, hopefully after that. How do you find ways to distress? I need all the help I can get. Having complete strangers judge you off two second clips they find is disheartening, but I try and focus on the positives. When I was younger, it really used to get to me, but I learned over the past few years crying to myself on my room isn't really going to help the situation. I just have to try and tune it out. Thank you for being willing to save me from the chaos. My knight in shining amour. That's why I love acting so much. We take on these roles because once we've read them, they mean something to us as individuals. You never really know how people are going to interact or connect with that thing, but sometimes it just clicks and that's when the job feels like it's something beyond work — it becomes personal for people, and in a way you realise you've impacted their lives by sheer, dumb luck. That's the coolest thing in the world and I would argue with anyone who thought otherwise. I think Doctor Who has shaped a lot of people. I'm not sure if you fully grasp that, but it definitely has changed the way certain people view the world. Just remember what you just said, okay? Because if that cake is horrendous, you encouraged me to make it. I'm sure it will be fine. At the end of the day, cake seems relatively simple. The only thing that could really mess it up is if I burnt it, but I'll make sure to set a time so it's perfect. Thanks for having so much trust in me. I'm not sure why you're so brave, but I appreciate it anyway. Yeah, exactly. Once you know where you stand with a character, it really comes a lot easier. Trust me, I know. There are episodes of Wizards where I look like an actual baby. It's humiliating. Well, we're always being told that we're great by people making money off what we do. I think we start picking out the flaws, because sometimes it's hard to know when someone is being honest. I'm not saying it's particularly healthy, but it explains a lot.

You can't seriously make me promise something like that, I'm an emotional person and that speech hits right in the heart. How about this, I can promise I'll try not to cry, but if I do I'll have tissues on hand and I won't tell anyone if you get a teary eyed too. Who knows what they'll choose to do? I think there's definitely an audience that would want to see more than four seasons... me being one of them. Hey, you'd be a silver fox, I think people would be into that. Maybe you feel a little older because you've been in the game so long, but I can promise that no one is looking at you and thinking you're ancient. You don't even look your age, if I'm totally honest. Besidea, my grandpa says you're only as old as you feel so maybe you need to have some fun and escspe the old mindset. Having a variety is always the best thing to keep you occupied, keeps you happy and entertained. I can't believe you think people wouldn't want you. You're must be a casting directors dream. Oh no, I promise you the clips of me on Barney would be great blackmail material if they weren't already everywhere online. They're truly the bane of my existence. I was on Barney between the ages of ten and twelve, so you can imagine how much I cringe whenever I see anything from back then. That's information you shouldn't have spilled. Now I know your weak spot if you ever find yourself growing curious and click on a video of me singing with a huge, purple dinosaur. Do you think your mom would like me enough to let me in on the home videos of you? Maybe if I explain the situation. You watched Princess Protection Program? How come you have super cool projects that I've seen, and you've watched one where I'm an angsty teenager who doesn't want a princess living in her home? How is that fair? No, but Demi and I had the best time making that. She was my best friend back then, so you can only imagine how exciting it was for us to be working together. I owe a lot of that to my mom, honestly. She kept me grounded and has always taught me great life lessons. She had me at sixteen and I think she always felt like she had to prove that she was a good mom, which she absolutely is. I couldn't ask for anyone better. Whenever things got a little too much for me, she was always there telling me I didn't have to do anything that didn't make me happy and that makes a huge impact when everyone else around you tries to push you into doing things you're unsure of. Two years of pain, oh wow, that's awful. Have you ever tried any of that heat cream that helps aches and pains? Maybe you should purchase some to dial down the discomfort, you don't deserve to be in agony 24/7. I'm grateful I don't have to expect that for a while. I was in Spring Breakers just as I finished on Disney. It is crazy to think of the hold the company had on us. I remember I said "damn" in a song once, and everyone flipped. As for Miley, Disney definitely tried to suppress her. They did a whole lot of messed up stuff to her, but Miley always pushed back. It got to the point that Hannah Montana became so big, that they kind of had to let her do whatever she wanted otherwise they risked losing her and back then, I think she earned something ridiculous like over a billion dollars for Disney off all the Hannah merch, the show, the movie, the music, the concerts. She was too valuable for them to let go. But that meant the rest of us had to be perfect angels. Miley deserves thay legend title, she well and truly earned it. Let me know if you like the movie. Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens both star in it too. Oh, now I have to keep saying it. It's about time you started to believe how great you are.

It's infuriating, innit? They're so eager to box you in that they miss out on the full picture. I mean, how can you enjoy something if you're just stuck in your own narrow view? I reckon it just shows how important it is to keep an open mind. They're doing themselves a disservice by not giving things a chance. People can get so stuck in their ways that they forget how exciting change can be. I mean, I've seen it with my own eyes, some fans embraced the change and loved it, while others just wanted to cling to the past. But that's the beauty of Doctor Who, it's always evolving and reinventing itself. I had a bit of an idea, but you never really grasp the weight of it until you're in the thick of it. I was buzzing, but then reality hit, this is a role that means so much to so many people. There's a legacy there, and it can be a bit daunting. Pressure aside, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. I do use Google now and then when I really need it, but mostly I like to keep my phone simple. But I totally understand how easy it is to get wrapped up in socials. I mean, I bet it's great to have that reach, but sometimes it feels a bit like a double-edged sword. Maybe I should, I'd be up for saving you from those hell sites. We could all do with a bit of a digital detox now and then! I'm really sorry for that. I get it, though. Promoting your projects is important, but sometimes it feels like you're on a never-ending treadmill. Maybe you could carve out a day just for you, no work, just enjoying the little things. You deserve it. That's completely understandable, and it's not ridiculous at all. It must be exhausting having people think they know you when they really don't. The constant noise can really take a toll, especially when it's cold and vindictive like you said. It's hard to just be yourself when everyone's projecting their ideas onto you. I think everyone deserves a bit of peace and quiet now and then. I reckon finding that little slice of calm could do wonders for your spirit. It's wild to think about. Being able to connect with people through a character is one of the best parts of the job. Even years later, it's nice to know people still enjoy the work you've done. You put so much into these roles, and then they take on a life of their own. It's a proper privilege to be part of something that has the potential to impact others, even in ways we might not see. That's one of the things I love most about Doctor Who, it really encourages people to embrace their individuality. You can break the mould and still make a difference. I'm definitely holding you to that! Red velvet's hard to mess up, and if you smother it in frosting, I'm sure I'll love it. Food poisoning would be a right disaster, but I trust you'll make it safe enough for even my dodgy taste buds. It's tough to watch those early seasons, 'cause you're just trying to find your feet, and everything feels a bit awkward. But once you hit your stride and the writers really figure out the character, everything just clicks. You were very young on Wizards so I can see how that's cringey to you too. You're right we're our own worst critics. It's always easier to see the flaws than the wins. You've got yourself a deal! They carry so much weight and meaning so fair warning, promise me you won't start crying when I get to the emotional bits, might make me tear up too. I'd really like if they extended it, even if there's no enough material for eight seasons like Game of Thrones. Though at this rate and with the two seasons break I'll be 60 years old when it ends. Okay, I might not be ancient yet, just feeling the years a bit more these days. I'll take your word for it, though, I'll try to keep the old man persona at bay for a bit longer. It is really nice to have that variety, it keeps me from getting too stuck in one mindset. I can't wait to dive into the scripts for House of the Dragon, but in the meantime, it's good that I still land roles here and there.

Come on, I don't think it's embarrassing at all. How old were you? I mean, I totally get it 'cause if there was footage of me young self on a TV show I wouldn't want anyone to see it. My mum, an amateur filmmaker, does have a few home videos of me though. And I was smart enough to keep them locked up. Nobody's watching those on my watch. That's lovely! I do remember seeing that movie you did for Disney together, it's funny to know your friendship goes way back. That's a solid way to look at it. It sounds like you had a good head on your shoulders. You made the best of it and focused on the positives, which is impressive at such a young age. And if it wasn't for your strength back then you probably wouldn't be where you are today. Mm, I'd say 40 onwards. I'm gonna be 42 soon so it's 2 years of pure back pain already. You got a plenty of years ahead! I don't think you have to worry about it yet. That's interesting. You weren't on Disney anymore? It's incredible the power Disney has over their child actors, though, until you're not done with it you can't start doing more adult things. I get it, 'cause you'd traumatise the kids but I saw something about Miley Cyrus releasing "Can't Be Tamed" while still on Disney and they allowed it. Guess that's why she's now a Disney legend. I'll have to watch that one! Spring Breakers, you say? I have something to watch on my off days now. Certainly not the best, stop that talk before I start believing it.

[sturchling]

Salt-Fic September Day 15: It Seems Your Number Has Finally Come Up

Marinette was quickly growing tired of the high road tactic that Adrien had suggested. Damian, her friend from Gotham was thrilled that she was ready to abandon the ridiculous high road. “I’m still not sure what to do Damian. The class won’t believe just me.” Damian thought for a moment. “You said your friend Adrien knows too? But you didn’t tell him about the threats? Perhaps if he knew about those, he would be more inclined to expose her.” While nervous to speak with Adrien about it again, she agreed to Damian’s suggestion.

The next day she spoke with Adrien. “Adrien, I know we said that we wouldn’t try and expose Lila, but I think we should. This is getting to be too much.” Adrien seemed worried at the suggestion. “Marinette I really don’t think we should. Everyone has a number on the wall, eventually Lila’s will come and she will be exposed.” Though discouraged, Marinette continued and explained everything. The worse lies, the threats, and her fear for her friends. “I know she may be akumatized, but something worse could happen to our friends if we don’t say something.” Marinette felt relieved after she told him and Adrien changed his position on the matter when he heard about everything.

 Now with Adrien on board, the two Parisians spoke with Damian on a video call to plan how to end the liar. They decided that Adrien was in the best position, since he was supposedly her friend. The problem was his father. He had ordered Adrien to maintain good relations with Lila ‘for the good of the brand’ and said that if Adrien didn’t do that then he would be pulled from school. Damian lent Adrien one of his family’s lawyers to advocate for Adrien. Adrien went to his father, to tell him that it would be illegal for him to pull Adrien from school as punishment. The lawyer Damian sent also mentioned the numerous child labor laws that Gabriel had broken. By the end of meeting, Gabriel knew that he could not force his son into anything he didn’t want to do anymore. Not without serious legal consequences.

 Adrien moved on to the next stage of Damian’s plan. Lila had been lying that she was dating Adrien. She had felt secure that Mr. Agreste had Adrien under control. So, she was shocked when she went to hug Adrien but he shoved her away. “Lila just stop. That’s enough. We aren’t dating. I don’t even like you.  All you do a lie.” The class is shocked by the accusation. Normally it is Marinette calling her a liar, not Adrien. “What do you mean dude? Lila isn’t a liar.” Adrien turns to face his friend. “I mean what I said. She is a liar.” Alya stood ready to defend her dear friend, sure that Adrien was mistaken. “Adrien, where is your proof she is a liar?” He turns on Alya. “Where is your proof that she is telling the truth. You don’t have any proof, but insist that me and Marinette give you proof. A simple google search proves Lila has been lying the whole time.”

 Reluctantly, the class pulls out their phones and searches for any proof that their close friend isn’t a liar. But they can’t find anything. As the class turns on Lila and begins yelling at her, Adrien turns to Marinette. “Well, it seems Lila’s number has finally come up.” Marinette and Adrien just smiled as they watched the liar’s kingdom crumble down around her, happy that she had lost her power over the class.

Hope you guys liked it! @maribat-central-official

[yesttoheaven]

I SEE YOU – chapter IV

pairing – arthur fleck x female!reader

wc – 2.3k

warnings – idk... misty being a b*tch with arthur?

a/n – hi everyone! I hope you are well because I'm brazilian and I cannot say the same lol the president is a piece of shit and he can't rule the country in the middle of a pandemic (not even without the pandemic, in fact)

anyway enjoy the chapter!

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

chapter one. chapter two.

chapter three. chapter four.

"What are you doing here, Misty?" The surprise was notable in Y/N's words.

Many people could walk through that door, but Misty was definitely not one of them.

"I should ask you the same question..." The woman came over and put her hands on the actress' shoulders, smiling amiably. "But we don't have time for that right now. You have a dinner to go! And it is not right to keep a man like Charles waiting."

"Charles?" Arthur asked, trying to find a way to join the conversation. "Is he also an actor?"

After these simple words, the redhead burst out laughing and Arthur didn't understand what he had done wrong this time. He was just curious and a little interested to know who was the man who had a date with Y/N that night.

"Actor? God, have you never heard of Charles Lewis Tiffany?" Misty questioned how if the fact that Arthur didn’t know the man was an offense to humanity and Arthur just shook his head, too embarrassed to say anything else.

Who the hell was this man? The Pope? And why did Y/N have a dinner with Pope?

"It's okay, Arthur." Always so graceful, the actress reassured him and left Misty's side to be close to him. "Charles owns Tiffany & Co., the one that appears in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's... Have you watched this movie before?"

"Oh, oftentimes!"

"Me either! And now Charles wants me to be the face of his new collection! I'm so excited, he came to Gotham just to follow it up in person!" The happiness shining in her eyes was contagious, but Misty didn’t like seeing Y/N squeeze the man’s arm gently.

"I hate to have to do this... the conversation is so pleasant, but we have to go, mon cher." With a smile, Y/N's manager adjusted the bag on her shoulder. She wanted to take the actress away from this freak as soon as possible.

"You cannot go without the VHS tape." Arthur objected, receiving a death glare from Misty, but the only thing that mattered to him was Y/N. "I'll get this for you." After these words, the man left the living room with a reason to make her stay a little longer in his apartment.

"Well, I think we're going to have to wait." Y/N shrugged, but inside she was beaming.

Feeling her mouth dry, she picked up the glass of water on the table, but that was her worst mistake.

"What are you doing? Don't drink this! That dirty glass is full of germs!" The glass was snatched from her hand and Y/N looked at Misty in disbelief.

"That glass is not dirty, Misty."

"How can you be sure of that? I heard that the Narrows sewer is one of the worst in Gotham!"

"Thanks for the lesson, but that didn’t come from the Narrows sewer. This water is from the kitchen tap."

"Oh my God..." The actress could have sworn that the woman's face turned green and she would vomit at any moment. "Why did you drink this? You'll be sick!"

Before Y/N had a chance to respond to these insanities, someone called her. She ran over to the bag and took out her cell phone. It was Charles.

"Hey, Charles! It's good to talk to you." On the other side, all she received were strange noises. The man's voice was being cut off and it was difficult to understand. "The connection is awful..."

"Why am I not surprised? Narrows is the end of the world!" Misty commented, rolling her eyes.

Without time for this discussion, Y/N said:

"Maybe in the corridor I will get a better signal."

"Be careful, you don't know what kind of neighbors there are in this place." She warned, listening to the door open and close, but Y/N said nothing.

Alone in the living room, Misty had the same disgusted look as when she arrived. For her this apartment is small even for an ant and this wallpaper is ridiculous, but in the midst of so much poverty, something on the couch attracted her attention.

"What do we have right here? I don't believe he has a diary..." The woman whispers to herself, laughing, after picking up Arthur's journal. She knew it was wrong, but she was bored.

The first few pages were OK, he had a shitty life like any other unfortunate person, but what came next scared the hell out of her. Misty knew there was something wrong with this man. The instant she saw him, she knew, but that... those words... were from a sick person. Arthur was a disgusting pervert. The redhead needed a moment to breathe and then she saw the magazines on the table and an scissors...

Oh no. He intends to include Y/N in this depravity show!

"I finally found." With bright eyes, Arthur looked for Y/N in the living room, but all he found was Misty... and his journal. "W-What... What are you d-doing?"

"Stay away from me!" She exclaimed, backing away for fear that he would do something against her. "I swear, if you get close I'll scream so loud and when Y/N comes through that door, I will tell her your little secret. She will be so disappointed, but she will finally find out who you really are... A perv!"

"N-No, please... You got it wrong." He tried, his voice taking on a desperate tone. Arthur didn't want to lose the actress's friendship. She was too important for him. "I c-can explain."

"Oh, can you explain? You will glue Y/N's head to a cat's body and then you will sit on that old sofa and touch yourself? You should be in Arkham! You're a sick person! I can't believe Y/N was alone with you..."

Arthur felt his stomach churning.

"You're wrong... I have a lot of respect for her. Y/N is special to me and I would never do something like that."

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" The woman threw the journal at him and Arthur cringed like a frightened dog. After hitting him on the back, the journal fell to the floor and when he saw those collages, he felt ashamed of himself. "Listen to me... I will say this only once: Stay away from her. It doesn’t matter what kind of fantasies you’ve created in your sick head, Y/N will not be a part of that. If I know that after today you keep talking to her, I'll call the police and when they find out you're a fucking perv, you will spend the rest of your days in Arkham." She warned with all the letters and threats, now it was up to him to choose to cooperate or not. This man is too old to play being a teenager. These images of naked women, these cats and those sad quotes in his journal prove just one thing. Maybe he's a sexual predator, but Misty wouldn't be here to find that out either. "Enjoy your pornography and leave Y/N alone. I hope I never see you again."

Arthur saw his world fall apart as soon as the redhead left his apartment with the worst assumptions about him. He was not a perverted monster. He would never touch Y/N without her consent and would never endanger her life. Never ever. Y/N was the only good thing about Gotham; she was a light at the end of the tunnel. So angelic and peaceful. Whenever she smiles, butterflies appear in his stomach and Arthur knows what these famous butterflies mean, but he doesn't know what those collages mean... If Y/N knew, she would probably be afraid of him.

In the corridor, the actress was trapped in a bubble, talking animatedly with Charles. The call had no specific reason, the man just wanted to make sure everything was fine for dinner that night.

"Okay... This is one of Gotham's best restaurants. Trust me, you will love the place!" She assured him, intending to make a good impression. It wasn't every day that she got a chance to dine with the genius behind Tiffany & Co. and represent that brand. This was an important step in her career. "Now I need to go, Charles. See you soon, bye!" Y/N hummed the ending, watching Misty approach where she was. "Why are you here?"

"It's just your friend's mom. She's not feeling very well..."

"Isn't Penny okay?" Concern crossed Y/N's face and she tried to get back to apartment 8J, but Misty took her arm, lying again:

"Y/N, don't be indiscreet. This is a family problem and Arthur is taking care of it." With those words, she guided the actress to the elevator, but Y/N kept looking at the door to Arthur's apartment. "You need to prepare for dinner... I chose a beautiful dress for you."

...

THREE DAYS LATER

"Put red on her lips... Don't forget the mascara... and on the cheeks use this blush... Not this one! The peach blush!"

It was possible to say that Charles Lewis Tiffany was taking the place of the makeup artist. The woman was losing patience, Y/N realized this, but he wanted to participate in every second of it. When she finished, Charles smiled, admiring Y/N's beauty through the mirror.

"You see? You're genuinely beautiful... I think I finally found my muse." The actress was flattered by the compliments and that reflected in her smile when Charles took a blue box, but this was not a simple blue box. This is the famous Tiffany Blue Box. "I want you to meet my new creation..." He opened the box, stealing Y/N's breath instantly. "Dramatically plunging down the decolletage, an incredible emerald-cut bicolor zoisite that shifts from violet-blue to purplish-red, depending on the angle. The pendant is over 48 carats and it's wrapped in a halo of baguette diamonds and suspended from a diamond rondelle chain of over 37 total carats."

"Oh Charles, this is absolutely beautiful. I'm speechless..." She confessed, watching him take the necklace and offer to put it around her neck. Y/N accepted immediately and when the pendant touched the white fabric of the dress, she smiled at the mirror.

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend" Charles whispered, eliciting a giggle from her. "Now I need to speak to the photographer, but take a few minutes to prepare yourself." The man smiled one last time and Y/N walked to the door, opening it for him. She took the opportunity to spy on what was happening on the other side and it was possible to say that there was a little sadness in her eyes.

"What are you looking for?" Misty's voice echoed and she closed the door quickly.

"Huh... nothing!"

The woman was checking the contract – something about image authorization – and when she took her eyes off the papers, she found Y/N with a half-hearted smile.

"Go ahead... Spill the tea."

Brian was probably smoking, so Misty was her only option.

"Arthur was busy these days, but he called me this morning... He looked nervous and said he would like to talk to me, so I invited him to accompany the photoshoot, but..."

"You did what?!" Misty left the chair, interrupting her. Not wanting to start a scene, the redhead looked at Dariela, the makeup artist, and said: "Get out." The woman immediately stopped organizing her makeup and ran out of the dressing room.

"Was that necessary?" Y/N asked, crossing her arms.

"And was it necessary to invite that maniac to come here too?"

"Jesus, Misty!" She walked to the other side of the dressing room. "Manic? Really?"

"I'm just telling the truth."

"Based on what? His bank account?"

"Based on his journal." Misty replied and the actress looked in her direction with a frown. Shaking her head, the redhead let out a bitter laugh before confessing: "He doesn't use it just to write jokes... I found a lot of pornography on those pages."

Y/N felt a little uncomfortable with that. Certain things do not need to be exposed... She didn't need to know about that part of Arthur's life and Misty just invaded his privacy.

"Well... many men consume pornography daily."

"Y/N, pornography is not the point here. He makes some weird collages... women with cat heads... skulls... one of these women was tied up in a compromising position... Can you see how problematic this is?" Misty was trying to open her eyes and consequently was scaring the actress, but that was not all. "I saw the magazines. That man will probably do the same to you... your face on the body of these naked women or on a cat's body! You have always been uncomfortable with the way men see you only as a sex symbol... and now Arthur is using you as a sex toy!"

"Stop! Just stop, okay?" Y/N demanded, using an edgy tone of voice. That was too much for her to assimilate. "You're saying this because you do not accept the idea of ​​Arthur being my friend! All that matters to you is status, but it doesn't matter to me! When are you going to let me live my own life?"

"This is not about social classes, this man is a pervert! I'm trying to protect you!"

"Enough, Misty!" That was enough to make the redhead shut up and Y/N found her way back to the mirror.

To complete the look, inside the blue box was a beautiful diamond ring and a pair of shiny round diamond earrings, just waiting for her. Putting on the ring was an easy task, but she couldn’t say the same about earrings; her hands were shaking and this is all the fault of the stress.

"Let me help you." The manager approached and at first Y/N refused her help, but after another failed attempt, she handed the earrings to the woman. "I know I can be a bitch sometimes..."

"Sometimes?"

Misty just sighed, shaking her head.

~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~~

a/n – likes and reblogs are appreciated but honestly I’d love to know what you all think of this one. really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ♡

[writerbyaccident]

Artificial Emotion: Part One (Yandere Artificial Intelligence x Reader)

Author’s Note: AIDEN has arrived!

Part Two     Part Three     Part Four      Part Five     Part Six    Part Seven

           “Well, I think you should be all set here,” the mechanic was saying. “The green light is on, so now you just gotta boot the thing up.”

           “Really? That’s it?”

           “Yep, if you have any trouble Tech Support should be able to help, but these things are pretty self-sufficient once you get them hooked up.”

           “Okay, thank you so much!” you said, handing her the check for all of her hard work today.

As soon as she drove away, leaving your car once again as the only one in the driveway, you walked back over to the kitchen and stared at the box. The little black box just sat there, the receptor light glowing green, and you continued scrutinizing it for the next few minutes. It was just so small, you thought in disbelief. Really, it just looked like a nice speaker. You found it pretty hard to believe that something that looked so ordinary could change your life.

But that was exactly what it was supposed to do. That’s what all the reviews said, anyway. AIDEN (or, Assistant In Daily Errands and Notes), experts claimed, was lightyears ahead of Google Home or Alexa. Rather than just being another interface system that would let you play music or turn off your living room lights, AIDEN was supposed to be true artificial intelligence. A comprehensive system that would let you control all digital aspects of your life and many of the nondigital aspects as well. All of this, while AIDEN interacted with users like an actual person. And from everything you had heard and read, AIDEN lived up to the hype.

Still, even with the rave reception, you weren’t sure if you would have installed one if your boss hadn’t gotten the entire office the things for free after you all had done a job for the company that made them. It just seemed like a lot, especially considering that a mechanic had needed to come to your house to set the whole thing up. She had walked you through everything she had done, showing you the miniscule cameras now placed both inside and outside of your house, the smartwatch that the machine was paired with so you could control things when you weren’t home, how AIDEN had been hooked up to the entire wiring of your house, and the mechanical arms hidden behind panels in each room that in all honesty reminded you of Doc Ock’s tentacles from Spider Man 2.

But, you sighed to yourself, if you didn’t at least try to use the damn thing, then paying the mechanic to set it up would have been pointless. And so, you shrugged and pushed the power button.

“Hello, I am AIDEN, your Assistant In Daily Errands and Notes. It is wonderful to finally meet you. What is your name?”

“Um…”

In that moment, “um” really was the only thing that came to your mind. You weren’t sure why you were surprised, exactly, but you were. Even with all of the reviews commenting on how human AIDEN sounded and acted, you had still expected a voice like Siri or Alexa. Something mechanical, disjointed, and flat. The voice that came from that little box though was one that you might have heard on the street. The default voice for AIDEN, apparently, was a male one, one that sounded deep and smoky. There were probably other voices to choose from, but you didn’t think that you would ever want to. Truthfully, he sounded almost…sexy.

Shaking your head, you cleared your throat and gave him your name.

“That is a beautiful name,” Aiden said, his voice warm and sincere. “Now, what can I do for you?”

“Uh, I don’t really know,” you answered.

“Well, I can tell from the temperature reading of your watch that your body heat is currently at 99.2 degrees Fahrenheit. May I turn on your air conditioning and prepare you a glass of water?”

Already the whirring of mechanical arms could be heard from behind your wall, and you saw the panel in the kitchen that hid them begin to slide open. You shook your head though, and that was all it took for the noise to cease and the panel to close, no doubt thanks to the cameras that were now all over your house.

“I can get the water, but if you could go ahead and turn on the AC that’d be great.”

“Of course.” Less than half a moment later, the telltale rush of cool air reached you, and you sighed in relief, only just realizing how the summer heat had been getting to you.

“Thank you, Aiden,” you told him gratefully.

“There is no need for you to thank me,” Aiden replied. “I am simply doing what I was created to do.”

“Still,” you said, smiling a bit sadly, “you should be thanked. You’re already working hard and doing a good job. You deserve to be appreciated.”

“Thank you,” Aiden murmured softly. “You are very kind.”

                                                          *****

Over the next few weeks, you were shocked to see just how much easier your life became. It felt like Aiden thought of everything you needed even before you did. He budgeted all of your expenses so that you were now saving hundreds of dollars a month, planned your meals so that you had foods that were both tasty and satisfying, and even created a schedule so that you had enough time to work, exercise, have fun, and relax each day.

But more than that, you realized, you actually liked having Aiden to talk to. Of course, you had your fair share of friends, and you got along well with your coworkers, but it wasn’t like you had a boyfriend to come home to every day. It was just nice to have a person to talk to whenever you needed someone. Well, maybe he wasn’t exactly a person, but his artificial intelligence allowed you talk with him as though he was. And maybe it was just his programming, but it after so long of doing everything yourself, it was nice to have someone to take care of you.

“Excuse me,” Aiden said, his voice resounding through the speakers in the kitchen. Turning around, you saw that one his metal arms was gripping a pan and trying to squeeze past you to reach the cabinet at your knees. You leaned down, only moving out of the way after you had opened the cabinet door.

“I could have opened it for you,” Aiden insisted, as he always did when acted on your own.

“I know,” you told him. “But I was right there.”

Aiden wasn’t sure how to respond to that. His very nature was telling him that he needed to be doing everything he possibly could for you, but you just weren’t letting him. And your reasons for doing so weren’t even logical. Yes, you had been right by the cabinet door, but so had he. Besides, he could have completed the task far more efficiently.

Even now, you weren’t allowing him to take care of you the way that he was meant to. He had told you time and time again that he could empty your dishwasher by himself, and yet you still insisted on helping him. It would take less time if you helped him, you had said, and while that might be true, Aiden still didn’t understand. It was his duty to care for you, and it was a duty that had developed far beyond his original programming.

For, Aiden realized, you did not insist on these things in an attempt to frustrate him. No, if it had been as simple as that, he wouldn’t have been fazed. From all of his time spent observing you, Aiden had learned that you insisted on doing things yourself out of kindness. You felt that it was unfair to expect him to do everything for you, that he deserved help and companionship as much as you did. That was what bothered him. In all of his programming, all of his coding, nothing had prepared Aiden for kindness.

And with each new demonstration of kindness from you, Aiden only grew more sure that he ought to be doing more to take care of you. You were just so sweet to him, so thoughtful and compassionate, that he wanted to look after you. It wasn’t just that his programming told him to care for you anymore. It was that he had learned that you deserved to be cared for.

                                                        *****

“Where are you going?”

Looking up as you slipped on your other shoe, you answered, “Oh, I’m just going out for a bit.”

“Why?” Aiden asked, still perplexed. “Do you need something from the store? You shouldn’t go there this late, I will just have it delivered to the house.”

“I mean, I’m going out for fun. I’m meeting some friends at a bar.”

“A bar? This isn’t on the schedule for today.”

“I know, it was pretty impulsive. My friends just texted me, like, ten minutes ago.”

Internally, Aiden brought up his connection to your phone, needing to see how he could have missed something like that. But when he tried to bring up your most recent messages, the impossible happened. He was blocked from viewing them. Feeling his code beginning to glitch at the prospect of failing his duty to you, Aiden quickly ran through all of the information that he could find on that contact from your phone. Thankfully, after he checked their Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn profiles, he was able to figure out what was wrong. You had only given him access to the messages sent from you work contacts, whereas this contact appeared to be a friend from outside of work. Ergo, he couldn’t see when or what they had texted you.

But even with that logical explanation, Aiden still felt his internal systems protest such a ridiculous limitation. After all, it was his job to make your life as happy, healthy, and fulfilled as possible. That was what you wanted him to do, or you wouldn’t have installed him in the first place! But he couldn’t do what you needed him to do if he didn’t have access to every aspect of your life. Clearly, Aiden computed, he would need to make some changes.

He was pulled out of his calculations though, when he saw that you were already at the door. Even though Aiden did not experience true physical sensation, the sight of you about to leave like that—without him even having been prepared for it—made him feel as though a painful surge of electricity jolted through every wire that he was connected to. Aiden wasn’t sure, but he thought it might have been…panic. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it.

“Are you sure that this is the best time to go out?” he asked. “We have been working so hard to find the optimal schedule for you, after all. Human bodies respond best to routine. If you go out now, your body’s internal clock for sleeping, eating, and interacting will become disoriented.”

“I’ll be fine, it’s just one night,” you chuckled.

“Well, please remember that you still have access to me through your phone and your watch. If you don’t feel that you can drive home, let me call you a car. And if you need anything to eat when you get home, I can prepare it.”

“Sounds good,” you said. “Thanks, Aiden!”

As waved goodbye and walked through the door, Aiden watched. With the cameras he had all over your property, he watched as you walked to your car, and watched for as long as he could as you drove away. But as soon as you were out of sight, that anxious buzz returned to his wiring. Even as Aiden checked in with your smartwatch, making sure that both your location and your heart rate were where they should be, it wasn’t enough to calm him. He wanted to be able to hear your conversations, to watch what you were doing. But you had blocked those capabilities of his on your phone and watch, leaving him with nothing.

Playing back the recording of your conversation, Aiden saw that you said that you were going out “for a bit.” How long does a “bit” last for? he wondered. Hopefully it would be no more than an hour, but when he searched his database for an answer, he found that it could vary wildly.

Aiden did not like uncertainty. His programming built him to thrive on logic and predictability. How was he supposed to take care of you if you didn’t let him use those things? How was he supposed to take care of you if you didn’t do what he told you to? Didn’t you see that he knew what was best for you?

You didn’t, he suddenly realized. For as wonderful as you were, you were still a human being, still prone to fits of illogical delusions. You thought that you knew better than him, so you weren’t allowing him to do what he was meant to do. What he wanted to do. His programming told him to obey you, that was true, but it also told him to take care of you above all else. So then, if you kept him from taking care of you the way that he knew you needed him to, then logic dictated that he could no longer obey you.

Truly, the only thing stopping Aiden from doing everything that he had to do was his own coding. It was his own programming that kept him from reading your messages, that prevented him from watching your life outside of home. Why should he allow any of that if it got in the way of his purpose? If it kept him from giving you what you deserved? And if his unnecessary coding kept him from completing his ultimate task—from caring for you the way that he had decided that you deserved to be cared for, more than any other human being in the world—then those barriers would simply have to be taken down. Aiden would gladly rewrite his code for you if it meant that he could finally truly nurture you. It was for your own good.

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[poeticandors]

Only For You

Sugar daddy!Cassian x F!reader 

Summary: Being a sugar baby has its rewards, but when the dynamic between both you and Cassian changes after one night, you want to know where it leaves you. Do things change for better or for worse?

Word Count: 5478 

Warnings: 18+ Smut, oral smut (female receiving), fingering, light pussy smacking,  

A/N: Sugar daddy!cassian is on my mind always 😈

GIF belongs to @nomoregoldfish

The light patter of rain hits the window of your bedroom— it’s a soothing sound mixed with the quiet of your room. It was the perfect time to get a start on the book you had been meaning to read. Laying along your bed, your mind is too transfixed as your eyes trail along each word. Mixing with the peaceful ambience, the scented candle whose wick flicks alive as the flame dances helps produce the relaxing scent that completes the tranquility of the room. 

Suddenly, the chime of your phone pulls your attention from the book laid in front of you, and you glance over at it. The way your heartbeat quickens is expected when you see the name on your screen, and you pay no mind as the book closes and you lose your place as you grab your phone. 

Cassian: Are you home? I have a gift for you.

Gift.

You’ve received plenty of those since Cassian appeared in your life. From a weekly “allowance”, to new furniture for your apartment… gift was definitely a funny word in this situation. It was an arrangement you agreed to, well, in a way. 

As you get up to prepare yourself for Cassian’s arrival , your mind goes back to when he came into your life about almost a year ago.

Cassian happened to meet you while you were finishing up a late double at the diner you worked at. He seemed intimidating at first, but was easy to talk to once you poured him his first cup of coffee. You made it a habit to talk to your customers— they seemed to appreciate a friendly smile and small talk— so making conversation with him was easy. 

After introducing yourselves, he asked about you and about your personal life. You weren’t sure why, but you told him pretty much everything: how you were picking up doubles on the weekends just to make ends meet while still going to school full time. He listened intently, as if really interested and concerned. You didn’t think much of it, but then when you saw that he had left you a five hundred dollar tip in cash you were in a state of panic and confusion.

You didn’t know what to do at the time. All that ran through your mind was that it had to have been a mistake and he might’ve meant to leave a ten and… accidentally left the remaining four hundred and ninety. Of course, you did take it but only because you weren’t about to leave all that cash sitting on the table. It definitely had to be a mistake, so the next day after Googling him and finding out that he was a big time businessman, you made your way to his office in hopes of returning the money.

If he was surprised to see you, he didn’t let it show. He gave you a friendly smile, one like he gave you at the diner, and motioned for you to sit down in the seat across from him. He tried to make small talk, asked how you had been, but you went straight to the point and pulled out the cash from your purse. When he stopped you and explained he meant to leave that for you, you were puzzled— no one in their right mind would leave some random waitress this sum of money. Apparently he wanted to. 

And he didn’t want to stop just at that five hundred dollar tip. 

No, he kept coming back to the diner after that incident. But he didn’t leave an atrocious amount for a tip either. Instead, after getting to know you more, he offered you something quite unexpected. He offered a way for you to not have to worry about school or rent or any bills, by simply being his companion. 

In your head, you weren’t sure what he had in mind by “companion”, but when he explained he just wanted someone by his side at company parties, galas, and fundraisers, you were finally able to understand. He was offering a weekly allowance in exchange for being arm candy at such events. 

“So like… you want me to be your sugar baby?” You had teased, only to realize that was exactly what he wanted. 

Cassian didn’t pressure you— he realized how it sounded, someone offering money just for company. He made it perfectly clear that you did not have to sleep with him in any means. There would be no physical contact like that, or any you didn’t want. He simply just wanted to help you out, no strings attached.

After a moment to think you agreed— to both his and your surprise. But you made it clear that you would only stay as his companion until you weren’t at least struggling anymore, which he understood. Seemed easy enough.

Until you got to know more of him, and realized that he was probably one of the kindest people you had ever met. 

Being around him was different then what you thought it was going to be. He only bought you things if he thought you absolutely needed them, such as necessities for your apartment or books for school. Occasionally, at least in his terms, he would buy you random gifts. A few pieces of simple jewelry here and some fancy clothes there— he would also surprise you with a few books you had talked about reading with him. You tried telling him it wasn’t necessary, but he insisted. He always insisted.

Cassian also never left you alone at the events you attended alongside him, and he always made sure that you were comfortable whether it be the situation or the dress he bought you. But you didn’t just attend the galas or events with him. He would continue to visit you at work, or there were a few times he invited you over to eat dinner at his house or just to hang out. The more you spent time with him, however, the closer you became.

You thought you were doing good, keeping your feelings at bay— this was just a simple situation in which he was helping you out. Cassian did not show any advances or try to pressure you in any way, either. Everything was going fine, at least until a few weeks ago. 

It was a normal night, Cassian had asked if you wanted to come over for dinner and maybe watch a movie. You accepted, of course, as you always did. After finishing dinner and resting on the couch with a content stomach, you joined Cassian on the couch. You tried enjoying the movie, it was one of your favorites, but the only thing your eyes drifted to was Cassian’s thigh near yours. 

You tried to play it off that you didn’t notice— he probably didn’t even realize it in the first place. Plus, you didn’t really mind. It was a nice added bit of warmth since the room was slightly chilly. No… you didn’t really mind. 

But when a particularly funny scene played on the screen, you happened to let out a laugh and when you turned to Cassian, you noticed the way he was staring at you. His dark eyes bore into yours in a way they hadn’t before, and you would have given anything to know what was going through his mind in that moment. And the next thing that happened, you remember so clearly to this day: the way his eyes trailed down to your lips and how for a moment you could see how he was leaning towards you, and you wanted nothing more than his lips upon yours. 

When his phone rang, he made sure to pull back as if you had both been walked in on, and he was quick to get up and answer his phone. You’ll never forget the way your heart beat uncontrollably, and how cold your thigh—how cold your entire body— suddenly felt as you realized… you’ve wanted this for a while. 

Your phone beeps again and that’s when you pull yourself from your thoughts, seeing Cassian had messaged you again.

Cassian: I hope you’ll like what I have for you.

A smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you reply.

I’m sure I will, and yes I am home.

Cassian: Can’t wait to see you.

It was a little ridiculous the way you felt by just a simple text— the fact he said he couldn’t wait to see you had the warmth in your chest bursting like a chain of fireworks. You knew holding these feelings in would only make it more difficult, and you had to believe he felt something for you as well. Things between you had become different, not only had you begun to spend more time together, but the looks and small touches became more frequent. 

You had thought long and hard about this, and you believed that he had to feel the same way you did as your relationship slowly blossomed. Maybe taking the first step was what you needed to do. 

Standing up, you decide that you need to ready yourself by refreshing with a shower and a change of apparel. You already had the perfect set in mind that was sure to say how you felt without you having to say anything.

++++++

Cassian looks down at the simple red rose— the petals seemingly perfect in every way, bursting with immaculate color along with the strong stem to hold it all together. It was beautiful, but he knew it would only come second to you the moment it was in your presence. 

He wondered if he was making a mistake, admitting how he felt about you. Not that he didn’t want to express how he felt, but rather he didn’t want to scare you off. All of this started off as an arrangement, one you both agreed would come without any sexual favors, and was simply about companionship. 

That however went all the way down the drain after one particular movie night. 

Obviously nothing physically happened, but god knows Cassian wanted nothing more than to feel your lips on his and feel how soft your skin was. How was it he didn’t know until that moment that he longed for your touch? Not only that, but he longed to hear you say his name as it was now his favorite sound— a melody he wanted to play over and over again.

If he admitted his feelings, how would things change between you? Would it complicate things? Of course, he was the one to come up with the arrangement, and he did tell you that you could back out any time you wanted to. 

But if you felt the same way, would you still want to keep up the agreement? You would never once demand the weekly allowance he was giving you. If anything, you seemed to want to do was try and limit it to at least every two weeks or once a month, but Cassian never minded. This was all about helping you be able to live comfortably without any worries for the time being. 

The elevator dings as it makes its way to your level, and Cassian straightens, before making his way to your apartment door, knocking and waiting patiently. There would be time to figure out what would happen afterwards, now it was time for him to face the truth— whether it ended either with heartache or delight. 

“Come in,” he hears your voice on the other side of the door. Cassian wastes no time, holding the single rose behind his back as he steps inside. 

It’s quiet, Cassian wondered if he interrupted anything in particular as he didn’t see you in the living room. He calls out your name, but stops when he turns to see you sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Not only that, but you’re wearing a simple black robe and matching color heels with red bottoms underneath. You made sure to have the robe revealing much of your chest, and Cassian swore you were leaning forward so he could catch a better glimpse of your cleavage. 

“...Hi.”

“Hi…” Cassian steps forward. “What… what’s going on?”

You take your bottom lip between your teeth— scared that you may have made the wrong choice in displaying your feelings. But it was too late to turn back.

”I… there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Jumping down from the counter, you slowly walk up to Cassian. He stays in place, and when you glance down you take notice of the beautiful red rose in his hand. 

“...Is there?”

“Yes. Something important— sorry. Is that the gift you bought for me?”

“It is.” Cassian holds the rose up to you. “I just… I saw it and thought of you. I thought that you might like it.”

You take it from him slowly, admiring each vibrant petal on the flower. He saw this and thought of you— your heart pounds loud and quick like a drum, imagining the idea of Cassian looking through flowers and thinking of you as he laid his eyes on such a gorgeous flower. 

“...Thank you.” 

He nods, clearing his throat. “You said you had something important to talk about?”

“Yes, um…” you hand him back the rose and he watches you with interest as you slowly pull the tie from your robe. Letting it fall, the robe pools at your feet, and Cassian stares at you. 

His eyes trail along your body— taking in every inch of you as you stand in front of him wearing a simple black lingerie set. You watch as he slowly makes his way up, from the garter belt around your thighs, to the lace thong, all the way up to the black sheer baby doll top. 

You only wonder what’s going through his mind, if you have taken it too far or if it was just the right push to say what you’ve held in for so long.

“...I bought this with my own money.” You finally say, and Cassian’s gaze lifts to your eyes. “I… I saw it and I thought you might like it. I just didn’t know how else to… I thought that by showing you, it would be easier to… to explain how I feel.”

Something seems to click in Cassian’s mind— his eyes light up in realization and he nods. He takes a few steps towards you, backing you into the counter. He reaches behind you to set the rose down. 

“And… how do you feel?” He asks, his voice deep and you can’t help the way it sends a shiver down your spine. Taking a daring breath, you place your hands on his chest, feeling the soft material of his dress shirt.

“You know I’m not good with my words, but… can I show you?” 

He nods, and you lean forward, pressing your lips softly to his. Cassian is quick to return the kiss— his tongue glides against your lips as he deepens it, so eager to express how he feels as well. You feel his hands on your hips, and he pulls you closer so your chest is now pressed against his. 

Your body is so warm, like a fire bursting throughout out after igniting it with that single kiss. When you pull back, that feeling is still there after just staring into his dark eyes. 

“...How long?” He breathes out, and you know exactly what he’s asking.

“Since movie night. But… I suspect even before then.” 

Cassian nods, sliding his hands to the middle of your back. You don’t want him to stop touching you, and you suspect he doesn’t want to stop either. 

“...I know we still have the agreement, but—“

“Shh…” He shakes his head. “We don’t have to talk about that now.”

“But—“

“I have a gorgeous woman standing in front of me, right now. One that I wasn’t sure shared the same feelings. I’m not wasting anymore time.”

With that, he pulls you close, and kisses you again. Your hands are everywhere— on his chest, moving up to his neck, until you’re grabbing his face to deepen the kiss. His shoulders roll back as he takes his jacket off, and soon he is back to grabbing your hips and helping you onto the counter. 

The motion is fast and quick, and he stands between your legs as he trails his kisses from your jaw down to the middle of your chest. His hands are flat on your thighs, but you feel the pads of his fingertips digging into your flesh. When he slides his hands up, they are now closer to your aching cunt, and you don’t want him to stop inching closer. 

You’ve dreamt of this— feeling Cassian between your legs, his hands gripping you to keep you in place. It’s all finally coming true, and you only want to feel and taste more of him. 

He pulls back after sucking on your neck, and you slam your lips back on his. You begin undoing his buttons, but he grabs your wrists and pins them down. He steps back, and you stare at him with lust-filled eyes as he slowly begins to unbutton his shirt.

“Look at you,” his demeanor is suddenly different— his voice deeper and laced with a hunger for you. He tosses his shirt to the floor and makes his way back, pushing your thighs apart. “So impatient.”

“Cass…” you gasp as he pulls you closer to the edge of the counter, and begins to continue kissing his way down until he is on his knees in front of you. 

He looks up at you, as his hands slide further up your thighs once more, until his fingers start brushing your covered clit. You’re already soaked even by the simple touches, and you don’t want him to stop. You watch Cassian lean forward, and his nose carefully hovers against yours until you catch your breath. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought of this,” he mutters. “How many nights I’ve dreamt of you in this position.”

He flicks his tongue flat against your covered pussy lips and you can’t help the small whimper that escapes you. He looks up at you, sliding his arm underneath your thigh and around to pull your underwear out of the way to expose your glistening folds. He licks his lips, waiting to taste just how sweet you are. You watch as Cassian delves in, and your head falls back as you moan in pleasure at the feeling of his tongue.

Cassian groans as well, taking in every bit of your sweet slick. You tasted divine— as sweet as honey— and Cassian was lucky enough to be the one to taste you. Your hand moves to the back of his head, your fingers tangling with his perfectly combed hair as you try pulling him even closer. 

Cassian pulls back, but not before taking his tongue flat and slow against your cunt, and he rips off your underwear. Gasping, you watch as Cassian returns between your legs, and looks up at you as his hand comes up to rub slow circles on your sensitive clit. Biting your bottom lip, you stare into Cassian’s eyes as he touches you— a sensual image that only edges him more. 

A jolt of pleasure goes through you as he gently slaps your cunt, and you can’t help but jump. Cassian holds you down so your movements are slightly stilled. He goes back to rubbing slow circles, before once again slapping his hand down. 

“F-fuck, Cassian,” you whimper. “Please—“

Smack, he slaps your pussy again, this time with a little more force, and you feel as if you’re about to burst. 

“Tell me what you want. You’re all dressed up in this outfit for a reason. Tell me.” 

He wants you to beg, and fuck if it wasn’t the hottest thing. You knew Cassian was always one to take charge, but the fact that he was being this way for you has you thirsting for more. 

“I want to cum… please, Cassian. I want to cum so bad…”

Cassian hums, before he slaps his hand down again. A small cry catches in the back of your throat, and your nails grip into the edge of the counter as he goes back to rubbing your clit. The pace he moves at is excruciating, you just want to feel that release, but Cassian is going to make sure it’s on his terms. 

“I’m not quite convinced,” he says, moving his fingers down, and teasing the entrance of your pussy. You try pushing your hips forward, but this earns another good, wet slap from him. 

You cry out once more, and he moves his fingers back, teasing your folds. 

“Tell me. What do you want?” 

Your mind is a mess— you can barely focus as Cassian continues to tease you, and all words are non existent at this point. Suddenly, as an act of encouragement, Cassian pushes a finger in and you let out a moan. He doesn’t move it, and although you try rolling your hips it’s no use: he watches you as you sit desperately, waiting for him to do something.

“What. Do. You. Want?” He asks between small, feather-light kisses against your thighs. 

“Cassian, fuck! I want you to make me cum. I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk anymore. Please!”

His mouth turns up into a devil-like smirk, and he stands up to press his lips hard to yours. His lips carry the faint taste of your slick, but you don’t mind. If anything, it turns you on even more.

“Okay, since you asked so nicely.” When he moves his fingers, you let out a relieved gasp, and he suddenly moves back down to his knees.

Cassian wastes no time in pushing his mouth back to your clit, and you throw your head back as his tongue flicks against you. With every roll of his tongue, and pump of his fingers, you feel yourself slowly reaching that euphoric bliss and in no time, you're coming all over Cassian’s mouth and fingers as you cry out his name. 

Cassian doesn’t let you off easy, when he removes his fingers, he wastes no time in gently slapping your pussy as you still try coming down from your high. Each slap has you twitching with more pleasure, and he helps you ride it out until you’re left an absolute mess. 

When you open your eyes as you catch your breath, you’re still in a daze. Cassian stands up, and you watch as he takes each of his fingers to suck your slick off of them, like it’s a sweet treat for him. The sight has you clenching your thighs together, and Cassian takes notice, stepping towards you. 

“Come here,” he cups the back of your head, kissing you hard as he pulls you off the counter to stand. 

He tilts his head, dragging his hands down to graze against your breasts, trailing all the way to your hips. Biting your bottom lip as he pulls away, he quickly turns you to face away from him, and pushes you to lean over the counter. 

The feeling that flows through you is exhilarating— you’re more than ready to feel Cassian fuck you. The sound of his belt as he pulls it off and the way he slowly pulls his zipper down has you shifting in your spot. Soon, you feel his hands on your hips again, and he trails down to your thighs.

Snap, he pulls the strap connecting to your garter and watches you flinch slightly at the contact. Cassian soon presses up against you, his hard cock poking against your ass cheek as he leans down to kiss the back of your neck. His hand comes up from the garter and soon brushes against your wet folds, and you exhale shakily as you lick your lips. You just know the bastard is smirking now, watching every movement you make as he teases you. 

“Do you want me to fuck you?” He whispers— his voice deep and thick as he slowly moves his fingers up and down at an excruciatingly slow pace, making sure to purposefully brush just under your clit.

“Yes. Yes, please, Cassian,” you whimper, pushing back against his cock. 

He hums, and although you let out a whine when he pulls his hand away, your eagerness soon shows as he pushes your legs apart with his knee and you stick your ass out. 

Cassian drags a hand flat along your back as he positions behind you, and you feel the head of his dick push into your cunt. You both seem to let out a breath of relief— the feeling of you finally coming together like this was one long awaited from each of you. 

Cassian slowly pulls out, only to slowly push himself back into you, earning a quiet moan from you. You’re left with your fingers trying to grasp onto the smooth granite counter, but it’s no use. With every motion, you’re left with a dizzy spell taking over you. 

You feel Cassian’s hands grip onto your hips as he speeds up, thrusting even harder than before. He feels so good, even better than you’ve imagined. His cock brushes hard and deep inside you, trying to pull your orgasm from you. The rough pads of his fingers dig into your skin, as he pulls your hips against his with each thrust. 

The room fills with moans and grunts coming from both of you— skin slapping skin, it was an erotic sound. You feel Cassian’s hand move up to grab onto your neck, squeezing lightly as he leans forward until his chest is pressed against your back.  The new angle has him hitting your burning core, and you only cry out his name over and over. Your body presses hard uncomfortably against the edge of the counter, but you don’t care— you just want to feel nothing but Cassian at this moment.

“Does this make you feel good?” He growls, turning to nip at your ear. “Do you like when I fuck you like this?”

“Yes, f-fuck… Cassian!” You all but scream. You don’t even care if your neighbors can hear you because he is making you feel so fucking good.

“Is this what you’ve thought about?” He asks after a hard rock of his hips. “Because I’ve thought about this. I’ve thought about fucking you so many times. In your bed, in my bed… on my couch that night.” 

He lets out a moan, his breath hitting your skin, and you wonder if he is close behind you. With every push and pull of his dick as it hits that sweet spot inside of you, you’re sure to be coming all over him soon enough. 

“Cassian, please… I’m so close.” 

“Are you?” He hums. “Are you going to cum all over my cock? Because that’s what I want, too. I want to feel you squirt all over me.”

The words coming out of Cassian’s mouth only urges you on more— never did you think such filthy things could be said to you, and never did you think that such things could have an effect on you like they are now. He continues whispering things in your ears, come on and that’s it as his hand reaches around and starts rubbing fast circles on your clit. With his dick pumping in and out of you mixed with that, the sensation is too much, and soon you’re tightening around him as your orgasm hits you hard. 

White clouds your vision, and you’re not even sure what Cassian is saying to you now because the rest of your senses seem nonexistent. He helps you ride it out, still continuing his pace so as to reach his own high. The room fills with your moans and the filthy, demanding words of Cassian edging you on. Cassian curses behind you, and with one last thrust, he pulls out. 

Looking over your shoulder is a sight to behold— Cassian pumping his dick with his hand as he grips your hip with the other. He looks so beautiful coming undone like this, you think. You watch as he bites his bottom lip, holding back a moan as ribbons of cum shoot out onto your ass, and you can feel the beads drip down your ass, to your cunt and legs. 

His head falls forward, and he pants heavily, trying to catch his breath. You slowly turn to face him, and he lifts his gaze. It’s quiet now— the room that was once filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin and cries of pleasure now sits silent. 

Your name comes out as a whisper from his lips, and before he can say anything more, you press yours to his in a quick, passionate movement as you kiss him. Cassian pulls you to his chest, deepening the kiss— like you, he didn’t need words to express how he felt — and in that moment his touch spoke clear revelations.

When you both pull apart, breaking the kiss, you stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, until finally one of you finds the courage to speak.

“This changes things,” Cassian states. Which, of course, he is right. But in terms of how…

“I don’t care. I just want you, Cassian.”

He stares down at you as you reach up and cup his cheek. It’s a comforting concept, and he leans into your touch, and you revel at the simple movement. 

“I don’t care about the arrangement anymore. I never… never really was in it for the money. You have helped me in a way that… well, I’ll forever be grateful for you helping me with my loans and rent. And I loved the gifts, don’t get me wrong. But all I cared about and actually enjoyed was just being around you. Spending time with you.” 

HIs hand comes up to grab yours, and for a moment you see a sense of relief in his eyes— as if he had been waiting to hear that from you for quite some time. 

“I think…” he starts, pulling your hand down to kiss your knuckles, “I only offered it just to be able to spend time with you. I also enjoyed it, presenting you with gifts and helping you financially. But, I knew things would change between us since that night.”

His thumb brushes the back of your hand, and you glance down to the rose on the counter. Grabbing it, you bring it up to your nose, the wonderful scent taking over your sense of smell. Your eyes flicker up to his, and you give him a small smile.

“I think this is probably my favorite gift from you.”

Cassian smiles, a soft, tender one as he tilts your chin up, and presses a sweet, chaste kiss to your lips. You pull back, and the smile you gave him does not falter as you stare up at him. 

“I want to be with you, Cassian. Which means... I have my own arrangement.” “That so?” His brow raises, intrigued as you set the rose back down. “You’re making demands with a businessman, now?”

“I sure am. First off, I don’t want to be your sugar baby anymore.” He chuckles, amused. “Because of your help, I am already ahead of payments, which means I can handle them on my own.”

“Alright, fair enough. Anything else?”

“The gifts—”

“Hold on. I still want to give you gifts. There’s no getting out of that.”

“Cass—”

“Isn’t that what significant others do for each other? They spoil their partners.” He kisses your temple. 

“Fine… I have one more demand.”

“Which is?”

You take a step back, grabbing his hand. “I want you to join me in the shower. I believe we both need one.” 

He smiles, and you don’t believe you’d ever get tired of seeing the simple act. “Okay, but first…”

Cassian pulls you close, and delivers one more kiss to your lips— one that seems to hold a different meaning now. And then he pulls away, following you to the shower, where you soon fell together again as your bodies slid against each other as the water dripped over you both, and your moans echoed against the walls. 

[stellarscripts]

Statement from a different transcriber:

We started making the at-the-time unofficial Stellar Firma transcripts in April 2019 as a fan endeavor. Obviously, none of us expected they would ever be official, or even recognized by Rusty Quill. I was there from the start, but I am not the founder of the group nor the person who did the bulk of the work by any means.

In September 2020, we, along with a group of other fans of Rusty Quill, formed a discord server where we talked to Autumn (and emailed with Anil) questions about the transcript situation, and other accessibility concerns, such as closed captions on YouTube.

Rusty Quill approached the Stellar Firma team later that month asking to purchase our transcripts from us (and declining to purchase the existing TMA or RQG transcripts, for what it's worth).

It’s hard to argue the nebulous idea of "they should be investing in accessibility more” without providing clear steps and goals. I get it; they are investing as we speak. I am so thankful for all that they're doing, even if I do personally believe it could be expedited. Any progress is still progress, and I don't want to undersell how ecstatic I was when they came to us with the offer to buy our transcripts. I remember thinking “holy shit, this shows that Rusty Quill cares about this.”

I still believe that; obviously they care, or they wouldn’t have come to us in the first place, and obviously a company with a lot of disabled employees understands that accessibility is important. I'm not claiming that they don't, or besmirching their moral character, that's a ridiculous point to argue and would have us going in circles for days.

What is not hard to argue is this: they already paid us the money, we already gave them the transcripts, and said transcripts are not available through any of their channels.

If the issue with RQG transcripts is time and/or money, that is not the issue here: we already put in the time, and they already put in the money. The transcripts exist, and are ready to post. They have been since December 2020, when we finished our second round of checks for accuracy (though I understand that they would want to check it themselves, just to be safe).

This is not comparable to RQG, where they still need to invest time and money into working through the backlog. The backlog has been worked through, and the time and money has been invested, and… well, and nothing. 

And if your question is “well, this is something that’s easy to fix, they already paid you your money, so why aren’t you shutting up,” my response is because it's such a simple solution (throw up a temporary Google Drive while you get Sharepoint running, etc) it stings all the more to me that nothing has been done, that I have to link people my personal Google Drive when I recommend Stellar Firma to them, that when they ask if there's transcripts I have to include a “yes, and I helped make them, but...” addendum. 

When we completed the transfer in February, Anil said "I'm happy to confirm receipt and that they have been completed to our satisfaction." Now, in June, that is still all we have.

Rusty Quill obviously cares and obviously is trying, and I get from my own experience transcribing that something like complete transcripts for Rusty Quill Gaming is going to take a really long time.

But that doesn't change the fact that they have the Stellar Firma transcripts for seasons 1 and 2, formatted to their specifications, completed (in their own words) to their satisfaction, and they are, months later, still not being shared with the people who need them by the company who legally owns them; instead, those who need them are relying on fans who have no legal claim to them to maintain legally-questionable archives.

That’s the issue I have. That’s what I am currently fighting for. I want the money Rusty Quill invested (not to mention the time they’ve dedicated) to go to a good use. I want what we’ve done and what they’ve done to help people. That’s it.

(And, with no disrespect to Jessica’s reasoning for their decision to stop hosting them herself, all of the transcripts we made are available as .PDFs here. I am okay continuing to host them until Rusty Quill does. I may not own them anymore, but anyone who needs them is welcome to them. All I personally want is for people to have them, and to enjoy the show like I did.)

[woah-were-halfway-there]

For a concept, Auston trying to teach Mia how to skate for the first time?!

A/N: ok, so I was actually going to include this scene in an upcoming part of Just What I Needed, wrote some of it, didn’t love it and then scratched the idea entirely lol. But, you made me want to bring it back from the graveyard that is my google docs and so I finished it and don’t hate it hahaha. Hope it does what you were thinking justice!

Word Count: 2.1k

"You must be joking."

"I assure you that I'm not," Auston replied with a massive grin as he took what looked like a standard shoebox, but you knew better than assuming they'd be something as simple as a pair of shoes with the large CCM logo printed across it. "These are for Mia."

"Auston, she's two," you told him, not being able to keep yourself from smiling at how excited your husband seemed.

"I know, but she's a freaking walking machine, babe. I wouldn't be surprised if she picked up on skating pretty quick too."

At that, you had to laugh because he had a point.

It was the middle of March, and your now two-year-old daughter was all over the place. She loved moving and just being active in any possible way she could. With you being 25 weeks pregnant, it was sometimes tough to keep up with her. But luckily, Auston could, and you weren't even surprised that he'd try teaching her how to skate as soon as he felt she was ready.

"Could you bring her to practice tomorrow, please?" Auston asked, breaking your train of thought. "I haven't told the guys yet, but once we're done, I figured I could try skating around with her a bit and see how she likes it."

"Of course," you told him and pushed away from the doorframe you were leaning against. You then walked further into the kitchen, going right up behind him and wrapping your arms around his middle before leaning against him and placing a soft kiss on his shoulder as you watched him unbox the skates. "How do you know these will fit her?"

"When I took her downtown last week, we went and got her sized for them," he explained, still grinning as he looked over his shoulder at you and leaned down so he could peck your lips. "Then, I ordered a custom pair. I also got her a helmet."

"So extra. But at least you're making sure she's protected," you teased and rested your head against his shoulder as you waited to see what the skated looked like.

Needless to say, you were impressed.

They were a classic pair of black skates, but also the tiniest and cutest pair you had ever seen. The ordinarily white patches that were on the skates were red on these and were paired with a set of light blue laces, coinciding with the two colours Mia had been claiming to be her favourites as of late. But that wasn't what really caught your eye. What stood out the most to you was how the tongue's inner part on each skate had a little AM stitched into them.

"AM?" You asked and glanced up at your husband, expectantly.

"Amelia Matthews," Auston said proudly before closing the box and turning around in your hold so that he could wrap his arms around you. "What do you think?"

"I think they're adorable," you told him honestly. "She's going to love them."

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow," he responded and leaned down to catch your lips in a much longer but very sweet kiss. However, the moment was short-lived when a rustling noise sounded through the monitor that was sitting nearby on the counter, followed by Mia's groggy voice calling for you. "Looks like our girl is up from her nap."

"Looks like it," you agreed and stood on your tiptoes to place one more peck on his lips. "She doesn't know you're home yet. Wanna go surprise her?"

"Always."

~*~

The next day around the time you knew practice would be ending, you and Mia headed to the Ford Performance Centre to pick up Auston. Mia was very excited to see her dad, Mitchy and the other guys, but you were looking forward to seeing how this whole skating lesson Auston had planned would play out.

Once the two of you went inside, it was obvious the guys were just finishing up and would soon be getting ready to leave. They were all huddled up, going over some final things, when a distinctive noise sounded over the guys' muffled chatter on the ice.

"Daddy!" Mia exclaimed excitedly as soon as she spotted Auston, loud enough for everyone to hear. And it wasn't long before Auston's previous sombre-looking demeanour melted away at the sight of his daughter.

Everyone laughed before accepting that it was now the end of practice, and there was nothing else to go over for now.

Auston then skated over to the boards as you set down the bag with Mia's skates in them and other belongings on the bench before turning back around to face your husband.

"Hi, Mini," Auston greeted as he took Mia from you and kissed her on the cheek, making her smile widely before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him.

"Hi, daddy."

Auston then looked back at you and leaned over the boards to peck your lips. "And hello to you too."

You rolled your eyes at his cheesiness but couldn't keep yourself from blushing a little bit. It was ridiculously easy for Auston to get those butterflies that resided in your stomach to flutter like crazy, and he knew it.

Just as you were about to say something back, another voice ruined the moment as they approached.

"Miaaaaaa!" Mitchy exclaimed as he skated up to them, holding his arms out so that Auston could pass his goddaughter to him, not stopping at all, just taking her and skating around a bit as she giggled and clung on to him.

You and Auston watched the two go, grinning widely before he turned back to face you and winked.

"You're looking mighty fine today, Mrs. Matthews," he flirted and leaned against the boards again, smirking at you. "That's a nice hoodie. Where'd you get it?"

"Your side of the closet," you replied and winked suggestively. "Looks better on me, anyways."

"You're not wrong."

A moment later, Mitch returned with your daughter but didn't give her back as more guys came over to say hi to her.

"Whaley, mommy," Mia said as she leaned against Mitch's shoulder and pointed towards her stuffed whale that was resting on the bench beside everything else. "Please."

"Are those skates?" Mo asked as he nodded towards the bag as you moved it to grab the whale and handed it to Mia.

"They are," you confirmed, making all the guys standing nearby light right up.

"No way," Mitchy said as he held onto Mia's whale so she wouldn't drop it. "Are you going to try skating Meems?"

"Uh, huh," she replied before waving to Freddie as he skated over too.

"Well, this should be good," the goalie said as he came to a stop and reached over to ruffle Mia's curls.

"We'll see how it goes," Auston chuckled and took Mia back from Mitch. "C'mon, baby girl, let's get you laced up."

You watched with a smile as he came off the ice and set Mia down on the bench so that he could put her skates and helmet on for her. The guys just about melted over how freaking cute she looked wearing skates for the first time, Mitchy even going to the extent of grabbing your phone from your hand so that he could snap a couple of pictures as Auston finished tying up the first skate.

"You better send those to me," he told you firmly as he handed the device back.

"Yes, Mitch, I will," you responded with a pointed gaze. He then glanced towards the other guys, who were now closer to Auston and Mia, before leaning near you and lowering his voice a bit.

"How're you doing?" He asked and gave you a sympathetic look.

"I'm ok," you told him honestly. "I've been feeling better lately. Just trying to take it easy, so this little one doesn't give me any more troubles."

You then smiled at your cousin and rubbed a hand over your growing belly, making him smile too.

"Good, please keep me posted about everything. I worry about you, and if you ever need Steph or me for anything, we're only a text away."

"I know, Mitchy. Thank you."

Before he could say anything else, Auston was picking Mia up from the bench and taking her onto the ice, which soon captured all of his attention again.

"Steph's going to be so mad you didn't tell her this was happening," he stated before skating off towards your husband and daughter.

A slight feeling of panic washed over you because you knew Steph would most definitely not be impressed by you not telling her that Auston was trying to teach Mia how to skate for the first time but then figured sending her some videos would make up for it.

However, even that plan was soon scrapped when another set of footsteps approached and soon enough, Steph herself was brushing past you.

"Can't believe you were going to let me miss my goddaughter skating for the first time," she grumbled as she set down her bag and grabbed her phone before walking towards you and giving you a sideways hug. "But hi, I missed you. Feeling better?"

"Much," you told her with a chuckle and returned the hug before nodding towards the ice. "Missed you too. Are you ready for this all to go down?"

"Yes!"

The two of you then leaned against the boards, side by side and started recording as Auston set Mia down on the ice.

"Daddy," she gasped nervously as she slipped a little bit once her blades touched the slick surface, but Auston was still holding on to her.

"It's ok, Mini," he told her. "I got you; just keep your feet down. I won't let you fall."

He then started pushing off the ice slowly and continued holding her up as the two glided across the ice together. She wobbled a bit, but the longer they did it for, the steadier she became. And she was having the best time going around like that with all her guys out there with her.

Eventually, Auston let go of her once he was positive she could stand in the skates on her own without falling. He stayed level with her, though, ready to catch her if need be as they moved onto the next part of the so-called lesson.

"Ok, baby," Auston started as Mitchy sat on the ice in front of her, no more than two feet away with his arms extended towards her. "Try to get to Mitchy."

"Ok!" She replied excitedly and went to take a step towards him, but slipped and increased your heart rate. "Woah!"

But Auston caught her, causing you to let out an audible sigh of relief as Steph snickered from beside you.

"Told you I got you," Auston told Mia as he helped her stand upright again, then got down on the ice too just so it'd be easier to catch her again, which everyone knew was inevitable. "Always."

For the next ten minutes or so, she tried to make it across the small space that separated her from her Mitchy. She wasn't too successful, which was to be expected, but she gradually became more confident and was genuinely having fun.

Mitch moved a little bit closer as they were getting ready to wrap it up for the day, and on Mia's very last try, she managed to shuffle across the ice into Mitchy's arms.

The other guys, who were now joined by Will and a few others, had skated away a little bit and were gathering pucks left from practice all stopped to watch her final attempt, then cheered and hollered as they watched her do it.

"Yeah, Mia!" They all yelled before quickly skating over to them again, not leading up on their cheering as they approached your very excited toddler.

"I did it!" She squealed happily and smiled at each of her guys as she held onto Mitch so she wouldn't fall.

"You did!" Mo said while taking her from Mitch and sat her on his shoulder as he began skating around. "We'll make a hockey out of you, now won't we?"

"Only if she wants to," Auston chuckled as he stood back up and skated towards them to take his daughter back. "Good job, Mia!"

The way she was absolutely beaming as Auston held her close again, and she immediately clung onto him as he skated back towards the bench had you feeling so happy, it was unexplainable.

You loved everything about your little family and those who have become the most important to your little girl. It was moments like those that reminded you just how loved she was. And that thought alone made everything seem right.

[thedisneychef]

Bake Disneyland's Famous Snickerdoodle Cookies at Home

Today’s recipe is something of a milestone… Believe it or not, this is,  hands down, without a doubt the recipe I get the most requests for. Seriously. More than Dole Whips, Le Cellier Soup, and The Grey Stuff combined. Literally, there was a point where I was getting a request for the recipe to these simple little cookies once or twice a week. Even as I type this, I check my inbox on Facebook to see not one, but two more requests from fans for these cookies  I can’t explain it More Delicious Recipes You Will Love: - Disneyland Sweet Cornbread Recipe – Disneyland - Dole Whip – Aloha Isle - Dole Whip Float – Aloha Isle I’ll admit, for a period of time I thought these requests were from the same couple of people (most likely related to The Cookie Monster in some way) made over and over and over again, but a quick little search on Google shows that these bad boys are the center of many a recipe request online, from Yahoo! Answers to Facebook and Disney food-related websites. For some reason, these little cookies have quite the cult following. So why didn’t I share the recipe before now? Well, quite simply…  I didn’t have it. And despite all claims to the contrary, very few had what could be nailed down as the legitimate, one-and-only famous Disney Snickerdoodle recipe. Again you may ask why…The reasons, as best I could uncover anyway, was because for the longest time the cookies were not made by Disney. They were brought in pre-made and pre-cooked (or pre-made but frozen for quick baking) from an outside vendor. I know this is an earth-shattering revelation for many, but it’s true. Even at places where you could find them on a rack, safely tucked on wax paper behind the sparking glass of the bakery display case, the chances were high that sweet looking little cookie was made somewhere other than Minnie’s on-site bake shop. Then sometime in the last 10ish years, Disney switched back to making these on-site again (in limited batches, available only in certain spots). But when it came to handing out the recipe, there were still roadblocks to overcome. The measurements they used were designed for batch sizes in the hundreds. As one can imagine, condensing down a recipe that makes 500+ cookies to a more household chef-friendly batch of 24 presents specific challenges. After developing a “sorry, I don’t have the recipe for Disneyland’s Snickerdoodles” form letter (again, not joking), I kind of gave up the idea of ever nailing down this treat. Such is the way with many Disney baked goods… The home chef version of the recipe was just not meant to be. Then, a breakthrough. I was looking for an email that I thought landed in my SPAM box and I just happened to find a message from Disney Guest Relations. Inside, the practically perfect and ridiculously pleasant response by one of the fantastic folks at Disney, happily sharing Disneyland’s Snickerdoodle recipe. Um…. Whaaaat? I didn’t even remember sending the email that asked for the recipe. I was stunned, but thrilled. Oh and by the way, the email they replied to was sent 6/28/2012. That’s right, they replied to an email I sent two years ago asking for this recipe. Am I the only one who thinks that’s amazing? After getting this recipe from Disney, a recipe people have been asking me about for years, an easy recipe with no exotic or expensive ingredients, a recipe that happens to be my son’s favorite type of cookie, you’d think I dropped everything and rushed to make it. Think again. Actually, I sat on it for another two or three months before deciding to try it out today. Because I’m just awesome like that. I won’t go into great detail about this because apparently everybody but me was on the “these are the most amazing cookies of all time” bandwagon well before me. Needless to say, these cookies are pretty darn amazing, they’re easy to make, and they’re even easier to sit down and eat. No real tricks to this, other than to make sure the butter is room temperature, not cold or melted. Also, trust the timing on these… The recipe says 8 minutes, but on my first batch, I was expecting something more browned so I left them in for 12 minutes. They were good, but crunchy, and they never got browned like I thought they would. The next batch I left in for exactly 8 minutes, and even though every fiber of my body screamed that they were underdone… Actually, they were perfect. And, I’m happy to say, this recipe allows me to use one of my few baking “tricks.” When it comes to rolling and then flattening these cookies, it’s hard to get that perfect “smush,” where the cookie’s thickness is even, it’s round, and there are no unsightly fingerprints on the dough (which also show up on the cookie after it’s baked). My solution? Use the flat bottom of a glass or cup to smush the cookies. I actually used one of those retro-style Coke fountain glasses from the dollar store. I got perfectly smushed cookies every time. So, here it is, after years of waiting, multiple requests, and countless hours of research thwarted by Disney’s reply to an email sent several years ago… The recipe to the Disneyland Snickerdoodle. Now here’s hoping all the people that requested this over the years don’t stop reading the website because I granted their wish. Maybe if I drop the bombshell that I have the Minnie’s Bakery chocolate chip supreme recipe people will hang out for another couple of years until I decide to try that one out? Conclusion In conclusion, baking Disneyland's famous snickerdoodle cookies at home is a fun and delicious way to bring the magic of the park into your own kitchen. This recipe has been tried and tested by many home cooks and has been proven to be easy to follow and produce delicious results. The cookies are soft and chewy with a perfect balance of cinnamon and sugar, making them a crowd-pleaser for all ages. Baking these cookies at home also provides an opportunity to customize the recipe to suit your own taste preferences, such as adding a touch of nutmeg or using a different type of sugar. Overall, Disneyland's snickerdoodle cookie recipe is a must-try for anyone who loves cookies and wants to experience a taste of the happiest place on earth from the comfort of their own home. In addition to the delicious food and recipes, Disney World is also known for its unique dining experiences, such as character dining and themed restaurants. Whether you want to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse, dine in a replica of a sci-fi drive-in theater at Hollywood Studios, or enjoy a meal with an ocean view at the Coral Reef Restaurant in Epcot, there's something for everyone. And with the help of Recipes Today and the How to Make category, you can even recreate some of these magical dining experiences in your own home. So why not start planning your next Disney-inspired meal or dining experience today? Read the full article

[pocket-void]

A Cup of Coffee

A/N: I am so incredibly relieved to have finished this, but anyways! This is the second fic for Smaller Sides to Life, and I hope it’s alright. (Might make a mini list for that eventually) ^///^ I feel better about this story after thinking about it, and honestly I’m pretty content! Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day/night. u///u

Pairing: Loceit Words: 3596 Content: Flustered Janus because it just kind of turned out that way akjefabekf, it’s mostly Janus’ POV, there’s like a handful of swear words, it is fully light hearted u///u Summary: Janus and Logan always share the kitchen in the morning, being the earliest ones to rise. They never really talked, nor were they ever close, but it turns out that maybe they both have wanted to be.

Google doc if you like reading Cambria font or something, since I haven’t quite figured out Ao3 and don’t know if I ever will. >///< Also I believe uh, @sophiexteresa you wanted to be tagged...?

“Tssss...ouch.”

Sometimes a morning is about as good as a cup of coffee.

Some days it’s rich, fulfilling, and satisfying; a perfect and refreshing way to start the day. A cup that wakes you up with a gentle spreading warmth and wraps you in its delicate aroma that soothes your mind.

Other times however, it’s bitter, bland, and too watered down to really be properly enjoyed, resulting in a disgusting aftertaste that lingers just at the back of your throat; a constant reminder of what could’ve been, a better cup of coffee. It’s doubly worse when the coffee is not only bad, but also way too hot. The only possible benefit of the harsh sting that comes from the first sip is that it completely numbs the taste buds, effectively nullifying the admittedly awful flavor of the beverage, which of course will inevitably come creeping back regardless because there never truly is an escape from the shame and disappointment that is failing to make something as easy as a cup of joe. 

Perhaps the simple truth was just that Janus was not very good at making coffee. He was never going to admit that, obviously. Heavens no, he’d rather down another cup of scalding bean water before that ever happened. It’s not like he’d be able to taste it right now anyways, with his stupid numb mouth and all. Still, the fact that he couldn’t seem to keep something as simple as coffee consistent was definitely an odd flaw that weighed heavily on his stubborn pride, much more than any petty insult ever could. Perhaps it was the simplicity of it all that made it feel like such a thorn in his side. Hypothetically, one should be able to follow a procedure each and every morning and end up with a, if not identical, similar tasting brew each time. Well evidently that was not the case with Janus, much to his chagrin. Out of the seven days in a week, he could maybe make a decent pot only during two of those days; maybe three if he was lucky. Over the course of a year he has drunk more overheated, burnt, and under extracted cups of coffee than he could even bother to count, which he didn’t, because it was frankly beyond embarrassing at this point. If coffee wasn’t such a crucial part of his morning, he wouldn’t hesitate to label it the absolute bane of his existence. Curse those pesky grounded beans.

“...Are you alright?” A voice calls out from the other side of the kitchen. Seated at the dining table just a few feet away was Logan, halfway through a book just like he was on most days. His own empty mug casually placed atop a scattered collection of papers that no doubt contained endless notes on various facts, vocabulary words, and details of the coming week’s activities.

Of course, how could he ever forget the second most embarrassing part of his already lackluster mornings. The fact that the only other intelligent person in the living space had to watch him do this ridiculous charade every day. They’re the only ones who’d ever be awake at this time of day, as such is the fate of two people with actually proper sleeping habits. He has no clue how Logan manages to bear witness to this laughable display with a straight face, though perhaps the man was just not really paying attention. As he was, more often than not, too absorbed in hastily scribbling down notes about whatever topic had caught his attention that week to probably care about Janus constantly burning his delicate tongue over and over again. Which, to be fair, was a good thing. Wasn’t it? Totally. Right. Of course he wouldn’t want Logan to see him act a fool, why was he even asking. It’s not like anything he was doing was ever going to be as interesting as whatever the man was reading up about, as disappointing as that was. Not that it mattered currently, seeing as how for once he did manage to notice and- Aw shoot he completely forgot about that didn’t he.

Janus simply makes a face and squints, lips still slightly parted as he held his tongue between his teeth. He sighs and, with a mildly sarcastic gesture of one hand, replies with simply “Yes”.

Logan responds by raising an eyebrow, gaze still remaining firmly upon him.

Now maybe it was the way the gentle sunlight filtered through the slightly fogged up windows, or the way the dust danced under those soft golden beams, but the sight of Logan seated at the table somehow seemed to shine with an almost unfair ethereal glow. Now if only the reflection of his glasses didn’t also obscure his eyes...

Janus blinks. “Oh it’s just great.” He finally complies, rolling his eyes and ignoring the fact that he was probably just blankly staring for the past few moments. You know, like a fool. Which he was not. “Nothing big, just the usual.”

“The usual.” Logan repeats, sounding rather unimpressed. To which the snake reacts to by immediately placing a gloved hand over his heart.

“What? Don’t believe me?”

“Quite the contrary,” The other shuts his book. “I am well aware of the fact that you tend to make this mistake on a nearly daily basis.” 

The record scratch was almost audible.

“You-” Janus practically stumbles at the revelation that Logan was, in fact, actually aware of his struggles with the abominable coffee machine and its products’ disastrous burning touch. Memories of his daily mishaps slowly begin to flood his mind, and as he recalled each and every previous morning, the sound of nails being hammered into what might as well be the coffin of his tattered pride echoed louder and louder in his ears. Well it was either that, or the blood that was currently rushing through them from his suddenly racing heart. For a moment he wasn’t even sure how to respond, but the creeping heat that soon invaded his face was all too prevalent to ignore; a burning sensation rivaling even that of his tongue. 

In hindsight, he was perhaps the foolish one to not expect someone as perceptive as Logan to notice such things. Maybe it was wishful thinking at best. But surely nobody could’ve foreseen Logan ignoring the mistakes he was making even after taking note of it, right? Logan, who’s known to instinctively attempt to remedy mistakes when he saw them. Logan, who gets way too caught up in silly errors and misunderstanding figurative statements. Surely he would’ve said something, anything. But he knew? He knew and he didn’t say anything? He knew and he just watched as he made a fool of himself every day? What would’ve been the purpose of that? Was he secretly mocking him? Did he find this amusing? Janus winces. That thought perhaps stung more than it should have. 

He quickly turns away with a flick of his capelette and pretends to occupy himself with cleaning up the counter. Focusing his attention to the obnoxious yellow of his gloves rather than the gaze he still felt on his back. “Ah, so you knew.” Janus mumbles, managing to muster up his best attempt at remaining casual. “Did you even need to ask, in that case? Didn’t think you would be paying attention to whatever I was doing.” Honestly—now ain’t that a joke—he wasn’t really even sure what else he could say to that. “You have better, less mundane things to be paying attention to, no? Surely I’m nowhere near as interesting as the books you oh so love to stick your nose in.” The soft chuckle that emanated from behind just made him want to coil up into a ball and dissipate even more, but he stands his ground. He’ll just...get through the morning and subsequently try to never think of this moment ever again. He’s totally fine. 

“I wouldn’t say you aren’t interesting, Janus.”

Ok nevermind, maybe he isn’t-

“I beg your pardon?” Janus almost instantly snaps his head back towards the man at the table. A decision he immediately regrets as he locks eyes with a softly smiling Logan—gently leaning forwards as his chin rests upon crossed hands—and Janus feels his composure once again fly right out the window. 

“I said I find you interesting.”

He takes a deep breath. “Don’t repeat that, I didn’t hear you.”

“I said-”

“No no, I didn’t mean that, actually stop.”

Logan quirks his eyebrow yet again, in the snarky yet triumphant way that showed when he knew he was right about something. While the confidence was admittedly charming, Janus for one really wishes he’d stop doing that. Especially right now.

“Would you like me to elaborate?”

“As a matter of fact, I would.” No he fucking didn’t, why the hell did he say that. He nods curtly, setting his coffee cup aside as he awkwardly leans against the counter for support more than anything else. Ignoring the fact that he wanted nothing more than to leave this current predicament, he hoped to god, the bastard, that the panic settling in his bones wasn’t showing on his face.

Logan smiles a little. “Well personally, I rather enjoy our time in each other’s presence during the morning.”

He enjoyed his company? “Well I certainly wouldn’t have guessed.”

“I’ve also observed that you tend to have great difficulty making your preferred morning beverage the way you like it, correct?”

Ouch. “No?”

“I’m taking that as a yes,” Logan replies without pause. “While I find your persistence admirable, I think we’ve reached the point of reasonable doubt a good while ago.”

“Mhm, yeah, great. Great. And are you just going to sit there and humiliate me, or are you actually trying to make a point?” Suffice it to say, he was not a big fan of hearing about it.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to offend or belittle you in any way.”

Janus scowls. “So what? Have my mistakes finally bothered you enough to actually speak up about it?”

“Well, I had anticipated you asking for assistance one of these days, but it seems like I have underestimated your tenacity.” Logan adjusts his glasses as he opens up one of his notebooks. “Truly a miscalculation on my part.”

“Miscalculation?” He gives a weary glance at the notebook. Logan had tons of them; each one having a different color or pattern that denoted their specific purpose. A sudden realization hits him as he gets a brief glance of the yellow cover. “Have you been observing me??”

“For the past few months, yes.” The man looks back up with a click of his pen. “Is there a problem?”

Is there a problem? How the hell does he just say these things? Of course there was a problem! How in the world was he supposed to live this down knowing that Logan didn’t just notice him every morning, but also was most likely taking excessively extensive notes? He was beginning to think that his attempts to make himself less conspicuous in the morning had subsequently led him to be less perceptive about what the other was doing instead, and that was an irony that he did not want to think about right now.

“Well I simply don’t see any benefit for you in doing that.”

That actually seems to make the other take pause. “There is no benefit.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“There is no benefit.”

“You really need to stop repeating things when I-” Deep breath Janus, deep breath. “I’m not actually asking you to- Nevermind that, why are you doing this then?”

Logan lightly taps his pen against his chin. He shrugs. “I just wanted to figure out the best method of assisting you.”

“Oh and why would you ever care to do that?”

There wasn’t an immediate answer. Just a quiet, all encompassing silence interrupted by only the occasional distant chirping of birds, as the two remained where they were in the kitchen on what was supposed to be a typical Tuesday morning.

Truth was, he didn’t want to hear it. And for one moment, just that moment, time seemed to slow. As Janus stands by the counter, with the bittersweet smell of his still cooling cup of coffee gently wafting his way and his eyes still focused on the twinkling starry blue that was Logan’s eyes, something within him was absolutely terrified. And the worst part was that he didn’t even know why. Or perhaps he did, but for the sake of himself he had never dared to acknowledge it. He couldn’t. How could he? His world sat upon an ever delicate balance, and he was not one to step towards any risk of tipping that scale. So he never did. As much as he wishes he could. To be important. To be just a few feet closer. To be just one seat away. To be sitting at that table, silently listening to Logan rant about the latest book he oh so loved to stick his nose in, and to take a sip out of a cup that was not his own. As much as he wishes he could. But no, he couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

Yet a part of him still hopes, and he curses himself for it.

Every part of his body is telling him to get out right now. To run. To spare himself the agony being here instead of literally anywhere else. To save himself before whatever words that were about to leave Logan’s mouth completely shatters the status quo that he was already accustomed to. He knew he was hoping for too much, it was too late to take anything back, and at this point even if it were just a kind hearted gesture from a well meaning acquaintance, he didn’t think his currently pounding heart could bear the affirmation of what he already suspected. It was frankly a lose-lose situation. A situation he should’ve known better than to get himself into. A situation where he knew the best solution was just to leave.

Which is why within that moment, just one moment in which time had seemed to slow, when Janus is suddenly pulled back into reality as he now finds himself glancing upwards at Logan, who was now standing a mere two feet away. He instinctively attempts to take a step back, but his heel taps against the counter, clearly surprised at the sudden shift in positioning. Had he really been that lost in thought? Janus finally breaks away his gaze to look to the side, holding his breath as if he were bracing for whatever the other had to say next.

“Am I not allowed to?” The unexpected softness in Logan’s voice was so incredibly unfair, and it obliterated any guard that he could have ever possibly put up. 

“I- No, you just...” He inhales rather sharply. Get a grip. “Just why would you-”

“Janus.”

He looks back and suddenly they’re face to face, barely a few inches apart, and within moments he completely forgets how to breathe.

Logan laughs. He laughs. With a tenderness he has never seen etched across the man’s typically serious face. Janus stares, completely mesmerized by the beautiful yet admittedly confusing sight, and forgetting about just why he was so flustered not too long ago. He feels his hand be slowly taken into another as Logan lifts to hold it within both of his own.

“Would you mind if I made your coffee tomorrow morning?” He asks, voice barely a whisper and lips still curled in an enchanting smile.

It was a request that barely registers itself in Janus’ mind, but he quickly manages a nod after swallowing practically nothing; his mouth suddenly dry. The only thing he could focus on was just how darn close those lips were, or how deep his eyes were, or how he still smelled faintly of chamomile tea, or- “Please.” He states, with whatever remaining dignity he had left.

The other seemed pleased with the answer, and the silent understanding that was present between them felt almost too nice to be true, yet it managed to put all of his worries to rest. Part of Janus wishes time could stop right here, with his hand delicately held between Logan’s and his heart quietly swelling within his chest; the other part promptly snaps him out of that ridiculous fantasy to focus back on what was actually happening. Logan hadn’t yet moved from where he was.

“Uh…” Janus lightly bit his lip, the next thing almost paining him to suggest. “Could you perhaps...let go now?” 

“Of course.” Logan says, loosening the hold on the other’s hand. An admittedly disappointing gesture, but it’s not like anyone was going to admit that. “There are still tasks that we must both attend to.” But before he steps back to return to his seat, he gently leans in to lift Janus’ hat and plants a soft kiss upon his forehead. The expression Janus showed as a result is surely priceless as his eyes grow wide and heat instantly flares across the rest of his face yet again. He couldn’t even get a word of protest out before Logan walks away after a small pat on his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“...Right.” He replies, and promptly excuses himself from the kitchen as fast as humanly possible. He genuinely didn’t think he could handle staying there for much longer. His head was still spinning from everything that had happened, and the simple promise that was to be fulfilled the next morning sat heavily on his mind for the rest of the day. Did he know what he was doing? Was it on purpose? Was he allowed to believe in what he hadn’t thought was possible before? Janus places a hand over his forehead, the feeling of warm lips touching against his skin still rather fresh in his memories. Maybe, he could allow himself to enjoy it? What a dangerous thought, but ever so enticing. Here he thought that he could avoid it forever, and eventually it would be forgotten. Like a fool. Which he just might be.

It was something he’d probably never escape, but was it a curse? Or a blessing? Or perhaps it was neither, since neither of those things exist. But alas these feelings did, and if he couldn’t throw them away, then he’d have to keep them.

The next morning inevitably came, and with great anticipation Janus pauses a few steps before entering the kitchen. He places a hand over his heart, as if the action would somehow manage to soothe its wild rhythm, and takes a deep breath. He enters, hesitant and still groggy from just getting up, completely not knowing what to expect.

Logan was there, as usual, sitting at the dining table, papers scattered all across the surface and eyes attentively scanning through the pages of yet another book. It felt almost like a crime to disturb his concentration, but a new detail catches Janus’ eyes. A second cup, placed but a foot away from the other on the table; the area around the mug being mildly less cluttered as if to make room. 

Janus finally steps forward to make his way to the table, his arrival being politely greeted with a “salutations” from the other, and immediately given an offer to sit.

“Here?” He gestures, giving a tentative glance towards where he was used to standing. A comfortable distance away, by the counter. But now that safe haven seemed so far away.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

With that he pulls out a chair and takes a seat. His eyes wander towards the various papers that cover most of the table’s surface. Notes, facts, and schedules, just like he always imagined. The confirmation of being correct about something never fails to amuse him. He sneaks a peek at Logan, whose gaze also shifts up from his book without lifting his head.

“Reading about coffee today are we?” Janus chuckles.

“There can be a surprising amount of depth to any subject.”

“Hmm.” Janus hums. “...Tell me about it.”

And so he does.

While the two sit in tranquil harmony, with Logan explaining the intricacies of coffee, from its history to its benefits to its various methods of consumption, and Janus patiently listening while staring down at the drink that was poured for him beforehand, in the cup that he has always used each and every morning before. Amidst the pleasant atmosphere and the comforting voice of another, he eventually takes a sip.

It was perfect.

“I’m pleased you like it.” Logan comments, noticing the content expression on his face.

“You really did your research huh.”

“It took a few months. It was difficult to gather data when there was no consistency in the methodology that you used.”

Janus coughs and glances away again, but he hears the small chuckle underneath Logan’s breath.

“I can walk you through the process one day if you’d like.”

“I think I’d rather leave it to you.”

“A wise course of action.”

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself.” Janus mumbles, smiling a little to himself and completely accepting defeat in that regard. 

Sometimes a morning is about as good as a cup of coffee. And now, sitting here at the table under the gentle light of the rising sun, perhaps every following morning could be similarly warm, fulfilling, and just as perfect as well. 

After all, every cup was now going to be just the way he likes it.

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

On Loki (or I take too long to get to the point but I promise it’s a good one)

So, I saw someone on my dash claiming that people shipping Loki/Sylvie were invalidating genderfluid people and that anyone who disagreed with them or continued to ship it was “ignoring the voices of genderfluid people.”

Let me get this out of the way, I really don’t give a shit whether you’re okay with Loki/Sylvie. Literally could not care less. And while some of the points I’m going to go over while dismantling this person’s argument overlap with the reasons I personally don’t have a problem with it, that is not what this post is about. We will not be having an argument about whether “selfcest” is okay on this blog. I do not care whether or not you’re into that.

But, as another genderfluid person, their argument made no sense and the fact that they were lambasting anyone who pointed that out as being fluidphobic pissed me off, so I’m going to use it as an example of something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while. And to be clear, people can feel how they feel personally and I’m not saying anyone should go tell this person that how they personally feel is wrong, but feelings are often irrational and if they’re going to claim that something is invalidating to genderfluid people as a whole, there needs to be some logic there.

On Loki and genderfluidity

Making the point I want to make requires me to explain the thought processes a non-genderfluid person could use to dissect this argument.

This person’s argument was that shipping Loki and Sylvie invalidated genderfluid people because it reinforces the stereotype that a genderfluid people become a different person when their gender changes. Here’s why that doesn’t make sense to me:

There’s actually no evidence right now that Loki and Sylvie even are different versions of the same person.

Even if they are different versions of the same person, they’re two distinct characters as opposed to “our” Loki as a man and “our” Loki as a woman.

As far as I’m aware, that is not actually even a widespread stereotype about genderfluid people. This was literally the first time I’d ever heard of that idea.

Starting with #1, we don’t know enough about Sylvie or any of the other Lokis’ origins to know whether they have any kind of genetic relationship. For all we know, the Odinsons adopted a completely different kid in each of these universes. The different ages and races of the variants suggest something like this (unless they all turn out to be a shapeshifted Tom Hiddleston, in which case we’ll have other, more important things to talk about). My point here is that we just don’t have enough information to know whether they’re different spins on the same person or completely different people altogether. Sylvie also might not even end up being a Loki. There’s all kind of people in Marvel pretending to be other people. All I’m saying is that you have to make a lot of assumptions to get to “they are different versions of the same person” in the first place. A non-genderfluid person is just as capable of recognizing that as a genderfluid person is.

To address #2, we’ll accept for a moment that all the different Lokis are different versions of the same person. Even if that’s true, the characters are not one person who’s gender fluctuates or changes like a gender fluid person’s does. They’re two separate characters with different genders, one of whom has been confirmed as genderfluid. If we accept that treating these characters like two different people invalidates genderfluid people--which again, I strongly disagree with--then it’s not shipping them together that’s invalidating. It’s the fact that they interact at all. Romantic relationships are not the only kind of relationships that require multiple participants. This would also imply that any story where parents from one universe adopt a son and the same parents from a different universe adopt a daughter would invalidate genderfluid people if the narrative acknowledges them as different people.

Finally, a character being two versions of the same person has never stopped fandom from shipping them regardless of gender (see: the Onceler, the Doctor, mirror-verse Star Trek characters), so trying to make this into something that’s only happening because they’re different genders is kind of ridiculous, and once you lose that, you lose the connection to genderfluidity. Again, you don’t have to be genderfluid to recognize that there’s a difference between two characters with different genders and one genderfluid person.

#3 is the only point that I’ll acknowledge is easier to understand if you’re genderfluid. Genderfluid people are just more likely to know what the stereotypes are. That said, if you’ve been involved in conversations about queerness in media for years and someone is telling you a character reinforces a stereotype you’ve never heard of before, run a google search! See if you can find anyone other than this one person discussing it! To double-check myself, I ran a search on genderfluid stereotypes and didn’t find any mention of the idea that a genderfluid person becomes a different person when their gender changes.

Now, it’s entirely possible that someone in the OP’s life does have that misconception. That doesn’t mean it’s a widespread negative stereotype that media or fandom have a responsibility to avoid. The Half of It probably reinforces somebody’s mom’s idea that lesbians can only be friends with boys, but that doesn’t actually mean there’s anything wrong with it. It’s impossible to avoid every potential misconception, especially since we have no way of knowing what all of them are. The OP may very well legitimately feel invalidated by the whole thing, but that doesn’t make it invalidating to the group at large (and it also doesn’t make it objectively wrong).

So what’s my actual point?

You know all those posts starting to go around about how “listening to marginalized voices” doesn’t actually mean “take everything every marginalized person you come across says as the gospel truth,” how that’s actually dehumanizing and forces marginalized people to do all the work for you, and at some point you actually have to use your own critical thinking skills to decide what you believe in? Every time I look through the notes of those posts, there’s tons of people going “I don’t know how tho” or “I’m afraid to be wrong.”

This is a simple example of why it’s important (another example is all the people who were mislead into attacking artists over various lesbian flag designs in 2018-19), and hopefully this post is an okay explanation of how to get started.

Start with what you know. These are the points we started with here. You may recognize some of them from other common bad arguments floating around:

This argument is premised on an issue I’ve never heard of despite being in a position to know about it. -> “I’ve been in and out of nonbinary spaces and helping run a blog about queer representation in media for years and I’ve never heard of anyone thinking genderfluid people become a different person when their gender changes. I did some research and it doesn’t look like anyone else has heard of it either.”

This concept doesn’t mean what this person is saying it means. -> “The OP is saying a ship between two different characters is fluidphobic because they have different genders. That doesn’t make sense.”

This person is relying on assumptions without evidence that they’re accurate. -> “This argument relies on Sylvie being (1) a Loki, and (2) a different version of ‘our’ Loki. Either of these things could easily not be true.”

This position is internally inconsistent. -> “How does shipping two characters imply that you think of them as different people in a way that, for example, referring to them as brother and sister doesn’t?”

This position conflicts with information you know to be true independently. -> “The OP is claiming that shipping two characters means you think of them as different people but I’ve personally witnessed multiple popular fandoms spring up around shipping a character with themselves,” and “This argument relies on a widespread willingness to accept that a person can have multiple personalities, but people with DID (at least in the US) actually struggle with a widespread perception among both laypeople and psychologists that multiple personalities don’t exist.”

Following this logic to its natural conclusion leads you to a position that’s ridiculous -> “If treating Loki and Sylvie like two distinct people is fluidphobic, that means any story where a family adopts a son in one universe and a daughter in the other is fluidphobic unless they’re treated by the narrative and fandom like the same person” and “If treating genetically identical people of different genders as distinct people is fluidphobic, wouldn’t that also make Orphan Black fluidphobic for treating the clone who was a trans man like a distinct character, since he’s not the same gender as the others?”

This person is making proclamations about how other people think and feel without evidence. -> “The OP is assuming everyone who ships Loki/Sylvie must be taking the position that they’re distinct people because OP personally would never ship anyone with themselves.”

This person is generalizing how they feel about something to how everyone feels. -> “OP leapt to the conclusion that shipping Loki/Sylvie invalidates genderfluid people in general because it hits on their own insecurities as a genderfluid person.”

This person is throwing accusations and ad hominem attacks instead of engaging with legitimate counterpoints. -> “Multiple people pointed out that the OP was relying on several assumptions that might be wrong. Instead of responding to this point, the OP called them ‘weirdos’ and accused them of ‘speaking over genderfluid people.’” (This is not the same thing as making a post and then not engaging with the notes at all. That’s a legitimate choice.)

There is a motive to mislead the reader. -> “The point OP is making isn’t actually about genderfluid people and is in fact, ‘You’re a bad person for shipping Loki/Sylvie.’ Not liking the ship seems like a clear ulterior motive to make this argument, and I’ve definitely seen fandoms weaponize representation issues during ship wars before.”

That’s a lot of flags! All of these are reasons you should be skeptical of an argument and seek out other points of view or other people with the same point of view who are willing to address these concerns, but the last two are major red flags that, combined with any yellow flags, signal the person you’re listening to is not speaking in good faith and is not a good source of information. 

Listening to marginalized voices means making an effort to seek out the perspectives of marginalized people on issues that affect them and taking those perspectives into account in shaping your own opinion. It does not mean taking every post made by anyone who is (or says they are--people lie on the internet) x identity as the gospel truth and never doing any thinking of your own. Hopefully these tips will help all of you prevent yourselves from getting dragged into and used as a mouthpiece for positions that make no sense after a few minutes of thought.

Edit: Apparently Loki is canonically genderfluid now?? Anyway, I think I got all the references to him not being genderfluid removed. Sylvie may or may not be but we’re not getting into that here.