#just being a little selfish
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"Why hasn't Silver woken up yet...?"
#twsts spoilers#hola traigo angst#it wasn't supposed to be like this you know?#he just wanted to retire early so that those close to him wouldnt see him deteriorate from a once powerful general into a magicless being#he didnt mean any of this to go how it happened#and now his selfish wish may result into never seeing that little boy he raised for all these years never wake up again? it just isnt fair#ANYWAYS HI HELLO :D#spoilers#twst theory#twisted wonderland#lillia vanrouge#twst silver#mari draws stuff#artists on tumblr
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The hug!!
This one was once again commissioned by our dear @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and we actually talked about this scene quite a lot. Charles is still going through it, and he doesn't even feel like he should be getting the hugs he needs. Poor boy.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#edwin is the one to initiate the hug this time#in this verse the boys actually hug quite a lot#because charles loves it and edwin can't deny him anything#but it's usually charles who starts#the rest of the events of the episode are pretty much the same#but for this version of charles the way everyone loved the so called dragons while they actually sucked#well it hits a little too close to home#not to mention he's already struggling with niko being there#with thomas being weird and coming out of nowhere#and the crow king being after edwin for his own actions#he hasn't dare to ask for the usual forms of comfort he usually gets#but edwin knows him and sees him as his savior#and charles sees this and thinks “ah i've manipulated you and made you believe i'm good”#but then again he's too selfish to prove edwin wrong right?#better act like a good person for the rest of eternity#(he is a good person he's just a little fucked up and won't admit it)
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(nature au) you said that while dale dislikes dev using a cane in the house he doesn’t really care too much, but what if dev used a cane in public? i can’t imagine dale would be okay with that at all. he’d be pissed, like confiscate the cane kind of pissed
Originally the gag here was just going to be Dev clinging onto his dads arm for dear life while he shivers like a chihuahua but he is just. So small.. I couldnt get it to look reasonable
Bonus:
#The horror of putting Dev in a situation where he would 100% be wearing his sunglasses#Like NOOO the perfectly construction expression of horror I was going to give him#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop dev#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#fop dale#fop peri#art#digital art#fanart#I cant tell if I got the tone right with this one#Theres a very careful balance I try to strike with comedy vs horror and Im not sure if I got it#I also try to keep a sort of balance when depicting characters that are just straight up awful#I dont like depicting characters as cartoonishly evil but I also dont want to make him seem overly sympathetic#or like he's 'deep down a good person' because he's straight up not#He's awful and selfish. What he's done to his son makes him deeply uncomfortable with himself#but that discomfort means absolutely nothing when he refuses to change or become a better person#and he does refuse to change. changing is hard#he still keeps hurting Dev at every turn and maybe to tries to justify it to himself as being for Devs own good#but regardless he is still refusing to listen to him and hurting him even more in the process#idk im rambling#I like to keep the abuse balanced out with these nothing little concessions on Dales part#tbh even this concession didnt come from the good of his heart he just wanted to avoid making a scene#also because the visual of Dale deciding CARRYING him everywhere is better than just letting him have his cane is very funny to me
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I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime
And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"
Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
Please.
#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i just be ramblin#anime recommendation#manga recommendation#Like okay baseline on its surface it's an isekai anime about a teenage boy who is sold to a demon by his terrible parents and has to go to#school in the demon realm and live there without being found out (otherwise he thinks he'll be eaten)#But it's also a story about growing up and a story about a kid from a terrible situation learning what it means to (and being allowed to)#have goals and ambitions and wants#It's about a kid who gets all his needs met for the first time in his life (and a little spoiled) and figures out he wants everyone to have#that#It's about friendship and bonds and the importance of working together with others#It debunks that usual take about how humanity's base traits are evil and greed and the urge to murder and steal and whatnot through#the comparison to demons‚ who are said to be all of those things at their core and yet in actuality aren't beholden to it#It's about outcasts coming together not letting other people determine their worth and proving just how high they can reach and what they#can accomplish. they force the world to recognize them instead of assimilating#It's about what happens to outcasts who are taken in by bad actors vs outcasts who get genuine support#It's about kindness#It's about how adults should both help the next generation improve while also being their defenders from things they shouldn't have to#handle yet#It's even about the dangers of being fully selfless or fully selfish. How personal desire/the serving of oneself and kindess/the serving of#others should be balanced#About how desire is not inherently terrible and about how being constantly self serving stunts one's growth#And it's also about a human who got sold to a demon and is gonna be the demon king one day#Thinking about this manga makes me want to chew through concrete I love it so much#*how constantly serving others stunts one's growth
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playing slay the princess as intended (watching your friend stream it and then roleplaying as improvised ocs for each of ur runs)
#anethia collectibles#slay the princess#so ...#run 1 is i think the witch/thorns where we chose to be very stoic and silent throughout#run 2 is the paranoid/nightmare route (fav) bcus i wanted to get to ask more qns that round and somehow that ended up leading to my poor#little curious guy getting so broken and fractured :3#run 3 is the hero/deconstructed damsel route ....#run 4 is the tower! and being a little shit who is by hell and highwater NOT kneeling down#run 5 is the spectre ... roleplayed as guy who is for reasons he doesnt understand just wants it to be over#and MEOW anyway#nobody told me this game was an rpg .....#but its cool ! i love romances :]#i think its awesome ... the way the hero and the princess are . changing over time . over with each reset#the way they find each other in the long quiet ...... its something so#i love it ...#the hero is so guilty for hurting the princess that he loves and he is scared of hurtign and he wants peace and he doesnt want the eternity#of it .... he loves the . shifting mound (?) is it (?) as much as he hates the work she makes her do as much as he loves todo the workforher#like a blank slate knowing nothing . except that broken wounds can be healed . and then he meets her. and then he meets her over and over#its a million meet cutes for the hero and the princess snd a sweeping tale of love and devotion and salvation in the long wuiet#how many more vessels do you need .....#and its fun to. at least how i played it . the things the hero picks up on#knowingly or unlnowingly with each run#its soooo#every 'remain silent' feels like a callback to the first libe#telling the voices 'itll be okay' after the brightness of the damsel snd that 'ill be okay' after the selfishness n suffering of apotheosis#or after the deconstructed damsel route . and then to the last run. becoming the damsel. seeing it throughcher eyes#and its so . this culminating ammassing of allcthese voices .... and it comes to it all being reflected at eachcother#spectre posseses hero and shifting mound and player becomign whole#anyway i like this love story i find it very tender and swet#... anyway ! this is . none of this is analysis these are just my ocs and the story i made up whilst playing
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This isn't a theory or anything, just based on vibes alone. If Bells Hells do happen to seek out other prime deities for guidance or boons, the Moonweaver would be so juicy for Dorian...
#everything he lets people see is by his own design#she is the goddess of illusion#he has gotten romantic vibes from someone since early in the campaign (so far unrequited)#(according to the FIRST 4 sided dive episode ffs)#she is the goddess of hidden love#they both share the chaotic good alignment#he feels as if the hells are drifting#as if his feelings have never really mattered#he knows he's on borrowed time regarding grieving#her commandments include seizing your own destiny and protecting yourself from despair and forging new memories#(also as a purely selfish/ship driven symbolism: we would have big moon/little moon and will telling orym to not live in his shadow)#(cue dorian being blessed by the goddess of Catha(Will)'s light)#anyway i just think it would be neat#but i don't really think they're gonna go hunting for gods to help them VM style nor does dorian NEED a god's help but i digress#dorian storm#critical role spoilers#campaign 3#dorym#ramblings
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my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship
and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.
#carver hawke#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#well that and he didn't want leandra gamlen and himself to also get arrested for harboring an apostate but you get me#carver hawke loves his sibling and doesn't want them to get taken away that's why he's such an ass and approves of 'pro-templar' choices#in act 1 he's not pro-templar himself but kissing a little templar ass is how you avoid being arrested#'why yes cullen you are so right the templars are so cool and sexy' my hawke says through gritted teeth for that +5 friendship#look i love him okay he's my favorite and i will go the extra mile to make him happy and it's worth it for how much softer can be later on#honestly maxing out his friendship isn't hard if you're aware of what quests you're bringing him on and make him a grey warden#oh but you do need the legacy dlc otherwise you can't fully max friendship out... you can still get enough to change his dialogue/attitude#also like... we the player know hawke won't be arrested like they're not in any actual dangers from the templars as the playable character#but carver doesn't know that and neither does hawke so the templars *are* a real threat to them#and it's incredibly reckless to purposely piss off templars AND selfish because it's not just hawke that'll be arrested it's their family#for harboring them like we witness templars going after people hiding apostates soooo.....#i'm just saying that carver isn't irrational or just being an ass to personally annoy you okay he has cause#also once carver's a warden and ed has money and the estate THEN he's way more open about telling the templars to piss off#sigh one day i'll sit down and write an essay about carver.... one day
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Sol, our beloved time god
#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatex#exocolonist#my art#sol exocolonist#hi hello i'm back from being dead for nearly two weeks#i'm suprised how no one has talked yet how op sol actually is#like just think about it-#they can decide who lives or dies#they can single-handedly destroy a whole ass alien civilazation#they can decide the fate of their own damn colony#like just think about it.#Sol my beloved#my favourite sol has to be a selfish one#love me a sol who finally prioritzes themselves after always prioritzing other's happines after countless and countless times#and theyre just finally fed up with everyone's bullshit#bonus points if theyre a little bit of a bully#expect a few tweaks to be made later dqukdgw
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I'll let you go after I'm through. Don't go too far. …Why did you do it? I don't know what you're talking about.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 9
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#chen yi glaring at ai di with his best Boss Look DARING him to run from this - and he also prepared his favorite foods bc he loves him 🥰#the way ai di like. looks at it and looks away and looks at it again. the way he cant HANDLE being known because it makes him want too much#he wants chen yi TOOOOO MUUUUUCH but he rejects him when he takes a bite of just noodles#and then asks to leave again. like obviously hes just being a little shit#but its obviously also more than that. ai di doesnt want to accept or begin to expect affection from chen yi as much as he craves it.#he CANT accept it after what hes done...like. the face he makes in the second gif - he's SCARED.#he's immediately racing to put together ways to escape bc he doesn't want to face *himself* in front of chen yi who now knows it all#but there's chen yi's determination to see this through and also the way he looks at ai di in the last gif like.... ai di will be ai di#but chen yi will sit next to him and take everything he throws at him because that's what they DO. but!!! he will also let him go because#chen yi will never force ai di to do something he doesnt want to. i think thats where the conflict lies - the supposed betrayal...#ai di believes he made chen yi do something he didnt want to do & believes his selfishness will never be forgiven. but it already has been.
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thinking abt these two again. i need to be sedated
knight!sugu who sacrifices you to save the world thinking he has no other choice. who instantly becomes enveloped by a guilt so heavy it crushes him.
prince!gojo who sacrifices the world to save you with a smile on his face. who tells you to find him in your next life as he watches the stars go out one by one.
#i prefer sugu <3#moss and mickey ruined my life w knight!sugu and prince!gojo….. T_T they haunt my every waking thought#i think my version of prince!gojo is just. a more selfish gojo (and maybe just a bit more twisted) im still figuring him out tho!!#hes a little sick in the head but hes a kind man at heart :3 and we love him. hes a good ruler who cares abt fairness and equality !!#but he would probably also ruin literally everyone who ever hurt u if u let him#meanwhile knight!sugu is just . destined for tragedy No Matter What psjdjdj#the idea of suguru choosing his duty over love…. and being so crushed by that decision that it warps his identity……. yeah.#hes so doomed by the narrative i need to save him#geto x reader#gojo x reader
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Ok FINE maybe I'll listen to Epic the Musical
#jane journals#self insert talk#sortaaa im gonna do some screaming in da tags. but first#star wars#the phantom menace#attack of the clones#anakin skywalker#shmi skywalker#🔥 general hothead 🔥#UROGGGHH THROWING UP AND CRYING AND ASKING WHERE MY PHONE IS 😭😭😭#ITS SAD ENOUGH WHEN I THINK ABOUT ANAKIN FOR TOO LONG#but when i think about his MOM#the only person. only FRIEND he had for the first 8 years of his life#and being unable to save her was just the first of a domino effect of wanting to hold on to the people he loves#a cycle that drove him to the dark side#i dont think it was a bad kind of selfishness but it WAS selfish#and exacerbated by the jedi and EXPLOITED by palpatine UGGHH#i think if brea had been there it might have been a little easier on him#but...yeah. have fun with this
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went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3
#im just so ........#grips fists#i feel Helpless#i hate feeling like the people i know are receding further and further Away from art communities and the public because its so#painful right now#to be posting art :(#it just IS.#and to the motherfuckers in Toyhouse doing this like... i cannot stress enough how much if u called me rn i would tell u to die 2 ur face#i just... cant pretend like im Okay with u being anywhere Near the same space as me anymore <3#there are people i Hate on an individual level and#i still want to see them eat. just not at my table#but to everyone who Scrapes Art. I want you to Die <3 ....#you value having pretty little image and serving yourself over the grief of millions of artists#to the point where you break into Our spaces where we trust that we're at least safe from *you* motherfuckers#and take Even More ...#youre fucking#selfish and greedy#truly an embodiment of every fucking sin#unable to fucking Help Yourself ?#imagine if all of these people were like. contributing to society.or. idk. DRAWING#the Waste it generates stresses me out to no fucking end too#like you will literally harm the entire human race for Yourself#i Hate you . I Hate you so Wholly#I hate Everything you are and Everything you have done to me and Everything you have done to my community and my peers#yeah. i want you to Die. The same way i want a politician to die.#no human Deserves death <3 but i still want you to <3#annnyyywaayyyyyss#i wont tag this as my art LMFAO its basically a fucking#vent post#i just HAD to get my feelings out cuz genuinely every time i talk about this with my friends it
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abby, sorry to get extremely real on a friday night but like how do you deal with feelings of environmental existentialism (for lack of a better term) that you may have. It feels like it's hit especially hard this week and I'm sure Tuesday is a factor in that but I do not enjoy the feeling, at 28, of time accelerating into an uncertain but generally unpleasant singularity, actually
i love this question because this is one of the biggest fears of my life because of my debilitating fear of death and yknow my general love for being alive and the people on this planet. the short term direct answer is that i often don't deal at all. i often feel sharp pain and edge into true panic until i distract myself, and looking at my weather app often makes me choke.
but the larger answer is that it's actually our responsibility not to (over)indulge in climate grief. we are not speeding headfirst, heedless and uncontrolled into a singularity. the trends are not good, the damage is making itself known, but things are never hopeless. there are thousands and thousands of human beings who have dedicated their lives to studying, remedying, and speaking out about the damage done to our climate. and there are solutions. there are breakthroughs every single day! succumbing to depressive existentialism is not only not helpful, but does actually ignore a lot of the progress that is being made! things are dire and have been dire but they are NOT hopeless.
i find that these feelings hit hardest when i have been the most isolated, and that they piggyback on feelings of despondency about other things i see going Wrong in the world (and there is a lot!). but everything is connected. finding ways to spend time with others, spend time outdoors, use your voice/money for Action (whether protesting, volunteering, working, even just having conversations with others), all these things ease the emotional burden. recognizing that everything feels #unprecedented because we are more connected to global information than any other time in history while simultaneously becoming increasingly isolated and individualized helps ground the feelings in context in a way i find helpful.
climate grief is inexorable from grief over genocide, capitalism, racism, misogyny.... everything is connected. and just as we have the privilege and responsibility of never giving into the urge to hide away from any of the other things, taking action and feeling connected to community around you makes fighting these things feel possible.
being alive is SUCH a gift and whatever the future holds is never a guarantee, even if the climate was exactly the same as it was when you were born. we are only given so much time, and the best way to experience literally anything other than terror and rage (i have found) is just to move outside my own self a little. to take a deep breath and sink my toes into the earth and try to remember there are so so so many people making both incremental and massive change every day, and that giving up on someone you love before they die is never the right choice. we can always do something, and/or amplify those who are.
and sometimes? it's a simple as calling it quits on the scrolling and just creating something, even just. cooking. or watering a houseplant. or closing your eyes and singing as loud as you can while crying. you know?
(if i remember tomorrow i will link some pieces about dealing with climate grief/hope, because it actually does help that everyone who works in the field is absolutely uniform in saying outlandish extenstial dread is not a useful space to live in)
#at the end of the day none of this alleviates my true fear (dying) (unavoidable) (too late in the night to think about it too much)#but being alive is so beautiful and feeling grief and part and parcel of that#but staying Stuck in that feeling is selfish and unhelpful and honestly looking away from all the hope there still is#because of those working tireless around us#sometimes it just comes down to loving something too much to borrow grief from the future#and wanting to Fight#and when all else fails it is fine to sit with the terror for a little bit and distract yourself when needed#but also literally when it gets too bad i know i just need to call someone i love take a walk and drink water#we keep singing even so is my mantra so#thats it.#you understand reality and you keep going and maybe the song will change#doom is not real!!!!!!!!!!
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"Oh wow OP sounds like you weren't Their Good Jew™ enough to avoid experiencing antisemitism in antizionist spaces, I guess you'll change your mind about antizionism now!"
Actually this is so crazy, but my political activism isn't actually based on what will personally benefit me or if I'm rewarded for it, but is in fact a reflection of my moral compass and what I think is right. Way to tell on yourself that your political views and activism are 100% based on other people's approval and what you think will personally benefit you best, though! Couldn't be me.
#did you know that some people don't choose their political activism based on clout? and that you're the weird one for thinking that they do?#the whole “antizionist Jews are only antizionist to try to escape antisemitism/for goyim's approval” argument is so stupid#and is VERY telling about how selfish the people making that claim must be#to think it's not just normal but expected to abandon your values because they don't always benefit you on a personal level#that's just straight up not how most people think about activism or political beliefs or basic morality#my advocacy for Palestinian liberation isn't for anyone's approval it's because of my moral compunction to do what I think is RIGHT#and I couldn't really respect myself (especially as a Jew) if I abandoned my advocacy because it didn't personally benefit me#idk maybe self-respect or moral character or having any fucking backbone at all is a new concept for the people in my inbox#and if so great timing! high holy days are coming up so maybe this is a chance to reflect a little and realign yourself with Jewish values#anyway thank you to the zionist and antizionist Jews and gentiles who are being normal in the notes of my post y'all are so kind#jewish antizionism#antizionism#jumblr#jewblr#jewish
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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adam who knows the door is wide open, knows he could leave at any point, knows that lawrence wouldn’t stop him, couldn’t stop him and yet. and yet .. adam who looks at the fresh crimson stain on lawrence’s shirt collar, the red beneath his nails he hasn’t quite managed to scrub away yet and wonders if there’s any universe in which he’d run to the cops, to anyone. adam who knows there isn’t. lawrence wouldn’t stop him but adam wouldn’t run. adam who despises everything jigsaw stands for, tells lawrence as much, tells lawrence that he’s gonna be the first to dance on that bastards grave when he finally kicks it but who still stays with lawrence. despite it all. because he’s lawrence, because he’s adam’s. because they’re so inextricably intertwined that not having lawrence around now would kill him as surely as reaching inside and pulling out his own beating heart. he’s everywhere and he’s everything, living in the spaces between adam’s ribs and wrapped around his brain like a live wire. running would be suicide and besides, adam’s not gonna let him go, can’t. not now. adam who would absolve lawrence of just about anything as long as he’s by his side, as long as he keeps coming back, as long as he switches the light on when he gets home and cups adam’s face oh so gently in bloodstained hands
#lawrence who wishes he would. just a little#lawrence who looks at the smear of blood he leaves on adams cheekbone and asks why#adam who just shrugs and says ‘because’ which is simultaneously not enough & too much#youll never recover from that kind of devotion or whatever man who even cares. sound of me crying#thinking about codependent chainshipping in a way that feels like digging my own grave#i need to walk around for awhile#sorry adam being given a flashing neon sign that says exit here nd choosing to ignore it because lawrence isnt on the other side oh i am#Soo normal#its about being selfish in the most self destructive way possible#how can i make this about dog adam devoted to the point of no return#nevermind i already did apparently#chainshipping#adam faulkner stanheight#lawrence gordon#📹
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