#just be self aware of what purpose it has and why you’re doing it

[yanimae]

Part of the reason the derision “self-insert ocs” earned was big in part because of the noteritety of certain fan fictions (my immortal) that led to becoming the most immediate thing someone will recall when thinking of “self-indulgent fiction for the writer to live vicariously through”.

The damage that this caused is ppl become unable to look at things outside a “internet fandom” lens and instead with a critical objective literary point of view, in that the use of “inserting parts of yourself into the characters of your fiction” is in fact, a COMMON and USEFUL way of making stories!

There’s a piece of advice my story telling professor (who worked at dreamworks on movies like Shrek) once told us which is if you’re ever stuck on a story you’re trying to tell, try to “return home”. Which meant essentially to look into that which you know, are familiar with and your life experiences to include in developing the story or character(s). Putting yourself, parts of you, into a story is almost expected in order to make a story feel REAL, TRUE and NATURAL. Attempting to write a story from a perspective you’re not familiar being in will ultimately make it feel distant or worse jarring and unbelievable, which will break the immersion you’re trying to achieve.

Anyway, the point I’m making is that I somewhat resent the way “self-insert” has been conflated with basic writing tools that have been used for centuries in almost every piece of fictional media and how much it bothers me that hopeful creatives are shamed out of it when it’s actually NECESSARY to make stories that resonate.

that’s my secret. all my OCs are me

[luminiamore]

SWEET.

sugar daddy nanami kento x black hyperfem reader

warnings: brat tamer nami, super duper big arms actually, spoiled reader, he’s a bit mean, he’s such a man omg, public sex, squirting, creampie, you'll almost get caught, mirror sex

masterlist

“Excuse me, Sir? Is this seat taken?”

A sweet voice interrupts Nanami’s focus on the book in his lap, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. The train's movements cause his body to sway slightly. He holds in a breath, really not in the mood to speak, but he's a gentleman. So, he looks up anyway.

He doesn't feel disappointed, actually the opposite. He's never seen anyone as beautiful as you. Your brown skin is smooth and clear, and your lips are glossed and full, with a slight pout. The makeup you put on was such a compliment to your face that it made you look like.. a doll. With eyes that made him seem like your salvation, you stared down at him.

Where did you come from?

“I’m sorry to bother you! It’s just- I’ve been trying to find a seat for a few minutes, and my feet are starting to really hurt. God, I should’ve never worn heels.”

You’re talking to him. He quickly comes to the realization that staring at your moving lips would make him appear creepy. Your voice was a little.. distracting. He clears his throat as he catches his lips quip up in amusement,

“It’s not taken. Please, sit.” You're walking towards the seat near the window, following his hips as they adjust to allow you to pass in front of him. Your clothes were... to say it bluntly, provocative. Your skirt was pink. He found that cute. But it was short, way too short to be worn out in public.

As you leaned down to prevent hitting the overhead storage area, his eyes caught the fat brown pussy lips poking out from the sides of your panties. Who the fuck let you go out like that?

You were wearing a strapless top that was also pink. The word 'BRAT,' which was printed in a bold white color, caught his attention. Hm, is that so?

You sit down, and now the blond man is hyper-fixating on your plush thighs pressing next to his. He’s interrupted by your sweet voice again, “Thank you, Sir. You’re too kind!”

He attempts to offer a smile, but he observes that your face is already buried in your phone, and your medium-length French tip nails echo a tapping sound. Well, now that won’t do. He wants your eyes on him again, your attention on him again. So he decides to speak,

“You headed somewhere important?” He acknowledges that this isn't the most ideal thing to ask a beautiful lady, especially during a train ride. His thoughts were running wild, and he was desperately trying to come up with something to say to you. He hopes you don't overthink it, but you look like the ditzy type.

You stop your typing and look up with your mind in thought, “Hmm, not really,” Your eyes turn to him and his cock twitches.

“I’m just going to meet up with some friends at the mall. The amount of walking I’m about to do is going to kill me but I can’t really do nothing since my car’s in the shop.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

Nanami observes that you have no filter or awareness that you may be talking too much. Either that, or you're so self-confident that you don't care. Regardless of what it is, he discovers that it is something he enjoys. He has the opportunity to ask more questions and hear your voice in his ears for just a moment longer.

You sit up straight, and now... Your body is facing him. And now he can see the nipple piercings that are pressing through your top. Nanami grits his teeth and forces his eyes to look at your wide ones.

Were you doing this on purpose? You have to be, but when he looks into your eyes, he finds no evidence of any alternate motives. That, or you were good at being coy.

“Well, somebody crashed into it when it was parked. And it was so bad, there was a weird creaking sound every time I drove! So now it’s in the shop, and it’s staying there.” You’re pouting again. And Nanami finds that he doesn’t like that hopeless look on your face. He has a burning desire to fix it, to alleviate any problems you're facing.

His voice grows soft and tender as he gazes into you, “It’s staying there?”

“I haven’t paid for the fix yet. So, the mechanic guy won’t give it t’me.” You shift in your seat. As you browse through your photos, he watches as you click on a picture of a pink Mercedes with its rear end completely broken. The color didn't catch him by surprise; in fact, he was more amused than anything.

“I see. Is there a reason you haven’t paid yet?”

Your brows furrow, and your head drops slightly as a sign of embarrassment. He thinks you're so cute. Nanami wonders if you have a job. You don’t look like the type to raise your perfectly manicured nails, and if you were his, he would never let you.

“Well... I’m in between jobs right now. My daddy won’t lend me any more money, and he told me yesterday, ��You spend too much, and I can’t keep paying for your expensive shit.’”

Your bubbly, soft tone gets higher in pitch as you try to imitate your father's voice. You pivot and grasp Nanami's massive bicep through his blue dress shirt with your fingers. You notice a slight flush of your cheeks as you shift your eyes to where you grabbed it. He's so big that both your hands can barely wrap around the entirety of it.

Your eyes look up at him, “And y’know I get it! But ever since he got his new girlfriend, she’s been telling him these things. He never felt this way before!”

Your hand is covered by his, his veiny and large hand. You seemed really shaken up by this, and he can’t stand it. Someone as beautiful and perfect as you should not have to suffer like that. He wants to make your life easier; he wants you not to be bothered by such trivial matters.

As one hand raises your chin, his finger softly moves back and forth. His warmth makes the hairs on your skin prickle. “I’m very sorry about that, sweetheart. Would paying for your fix make you feel better? I can get a car to take you to your friends as well.”

You gasp and immediately shake your head, “Oh no, sir! I couldn’t ask you to do that. I-I mean, you’re a strang-”

“Kento, my name is Kento. And don’t be silly. I have more than enough to spend.”

“But-”

“No buts, sweetheart. I just met you, but I don’t like seeing a frown on that pretty face. Let me take care of your troubles the best I can.”

That day, you left the train with his number, and he left with your name. His generosity didn't end there. Kento started paying for a lot of your stuff, and eventually, he sent you money every day, making it such a habit that he just gave you one of his black cards. He would only ask for your company as compensation. There's nothing sexual about this, in fact.

Kento would go above and beyond to spend time with you, even leaving his job in the middle of the day to care for you. During your shopping sprees, he would hold your bags while you ramble about your week as you walked into another store. When you came to him crying about your dad's girlfriend not giving you a break, he decided to buy you your own apartment. It goes without saying that he pays for both your rent and all of your utilities. He would take you out for dinner and treat you to the finest high-end places because he knows that's what you deserve. The finest, and only the finest.

Nanami takes pride in the amount of self-control he has. Almost nothing gets under his skin.. but you. You and the short skirts you wear. You and your tight outfits. You and the way you bend down in front of him, exposing your pink lace panties. He tries to keep his eyes away, but he sometimes feels as if you're doing this on purpose. You must be.

And the truth is, you were. Nanami was the most attractive man you ever had the pleasure of seeing. Not only that, but his company has become something you've come to love. Ever since you met him on that crowded train, you've had lewd thoughts about him. Thoughts of him feigning a sex attack, thoughts of him bending you over and drilling his cock into you. You wanted him so badly, but he refused to do anything with you. It was making you crazy.

But you didn't know how to directly say that you want him to fuck your brains out. You opted for giving him hints, bending over in front of him, brushing against his thighs. Once, you managed to sit on his lap while he cooked you dinner at his home. He never moved, never did anything except keep his hands on your hips. That was enough to make you wet.

On a Tuesday afternoon at Japan's biggest mall, Nanami reached his limit. Your mini white heels were clacking on the tile floor as you entered the Victoria's Secret store, looking for the newest Valentine's Day set. This isn't his first time going shopping with you for lingerie, so he's not bothered in the slightest. Picking up the set and asking him to judge how it looks on you is what surprises him. You've never done that before.

“Please Nami, I have a date tomorrow and I’m hoping I can show him!”

A date? What the fuck do you have a date for?

The situation confuses Nanami. Antsy. Annoyed. He has a sense of jealousy. He can tell. You were his. Only his. You don't need a sluggish, limp-dick man who probably couldn't find your g-spot spot. You needed a man. You needed him. What advantage does your date have over him? What can your date do that he doesn't currently do for you? Are you insane?

He is unaware that you don't actually have a date. You were lying and trying to get him to react once more. You are the epitome of a brat. Kento doesn’t like brats. He breaks them.

You flick your pretty eyelashes at the 6'4 man who stares down at you with an unamused expression on his face. You’re pouting again, and Nanami really hates that he says yes to you. When you look at him like that, he can't say no. It's so hard to say no, but he's tired. Tired of the way you rile him up, he's sure that you're just hoping for a reaction from him. He has to put an end to this.

“..Lead the way, sweetheart.”

You're too occupied with other sets to notice that his voice becomes deeper when he speaks.

Nanami doesn't go into the dressing room with you. He planned to wait on the small, bright pink benches outside. Your angelic voice called out to him to help you with the zipper on a corset, ruining his plan. He loves helping you. It actually makes his day when he makes yours easier in any way. So, he agrees.

His breath hitsched when he pulls back the curtain. Oh fuck. You were... In red panties, the stockings lie softly on your thighs. While staring in the mirror, your brown skin is visible to him, and the corset is loosely hanging off your shoulders. You are a sight to behold—a sight of beauty, delight, and sweetness.

He creeps up on you slowly as though he doesn't want to frighten you. The moment he pulls both ends of the top together, you release a cute gasp. The zipper's faint sound as it rises makes you shiver when his hands brush against you. Once he's finished, his hands rest on your waist, your warmth radiating onto him. His voice, grave and breathless, causes you to catch your breath when he speaks,

“This is what y’re wearing? For your.. date?”

You hum and turn your body side to side to look at how the set fits on you.

“Uhuh! Y’think he’ll like it?” He tilts his head and observes your ass moving slightly with every move you make.

“Hm. What reaction do you suppose you’ll get out him?”

His fingertips can be felt on the panty line as he plays with it and pulls the band. You leap when it snaps itself back to your skin. His other hand is reaching in front of you and grazing your pussy

“Something like this?” The lace that clings to your pussy is grasped by his big hand, and you let out a pathetic whimper at the sight of it. You’re dripping. It wasn't your stupid date that caused this, it was all because of him. You succumb to his grip, and, of course, he steadies you.

“K-Ken?” Your voice squeaks out.

He pays no attention to you and only looks at the slick on his fingers when he moves away from your cunt. You're seeing all this through the mirror, watching his every move. Despite having dreamed about this moment every night, you still feel a little nervous. His expression in the mirror seems... upset.

“Y’know, sweetheart, I am tired.” His hands slowly take the panties off of you, allowing them to fall to your heels on the floor.

“Tired of how you tease me.”

He spreads your folds out from under you, letting the moisture drip all over his palm as he slides up and down. He groans when you emit the most adorable moan right next to his ear. God, you were so precious. He wanted you all to himself.

He scoffs, “A date. The hell do you need a date for? Y’need someone to fuck you, is that it? Someone to teach you some manners?” He slid his two thick fingers into your wet mound, scolding you when you let out a dirty mewl.

“Quiet sweetheart, bad girls don’t get to make a sound.”

He pushes them in deeper, immediately finding your spongy, and presses into it repeatedly. You tremble in his arms, pressing your hands to muffle your moans.

He murmurs to you, battling against the squelching noise your pussy is making. Your knees are buckling, but there's another hand pressing on your stomach to keep you upright and amplify the pressure you're feeling in your stomach. “I treat you so good. I buy you whatever you want, I make sure you’re always eating good. And yet you still insist on being a brat.”

He seethes in your ear, watching your pretty eyes roll back in the mirror. Kento feels that your loudness is causing you to forget you're in public. At this point, he doesn't care much. Throughout all of this, Kento is pulling down his zipper, freeing his hard dick from his boxers.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m gonna fuck you. Gonna fuck you so hard you forget all about that stupid date.” He stops finger-fucking you and leaves your sopping cunt suddenly, causing you to whimper at the loss.

Without warning, he plunges his fat cock deep into you and immediately presses his hand on your mouth to stop you from screaming. Your body falls back against him, leaving you drooling against his palm. It was too much, but you loved it. Had you known it would result in this, you would have done this a long time ago. Your body felt stuffed as he sucked his length in and out of you, observing how your pussy creams every time it disappeared inside.

Kento thinks you're perfect. Every aspect of your being is perfect. The way you squeezed around him almost made him forget that this was your punishment. Shit, you felt so good that he doesn't even want to carry on with the punishment anymore.

“There you go, sweetheart. Shh, just take it.”

You whine against his palm, your eyes barely open as this man is practically splitting you in half. You were both pouring your juices onto the floor, creating a small puddle below you. “Fuck. Such a messy girl.”

Your haze and pleasure make it impossible for you to hear footsteps coming near you and Kento. But he did, and he figures... It's a good idea to torment you a bit. So he speeds up his pace, letting the music drown out the light papping sound his thrusts and balls are making on your clit. If it's even possible.

“Miss? Is everything alright? D’you need any help?”

Your surprise is evident when your mind recognizes the voice of one of the employees. Fuck. No.

Nanami whispers into your ear, low enough for only you to hear, “Better answer her, sweet girl. Wouldn’t want her to suspect anything, hm?”

He’s so mean. Speaking is not an option when he's drilling into you like a madman. Fuck, could the poor lady even hear the noise? You're shaking, and you really can't help the yelp you let out every time his cock gets buried so deep inside of you. You rapidly nod against his hand, desperately attempting to do anything for him to keep fucking you like this. His hand slowly descends from your lips and grasps your covered tits in the corset, never once halting his pace inside you.

“Miss?” She speaks again, and you answer quickly so she can leave,

“I-I’m okay! Still- Ah! t-trying the s-set on.”

Nanami thinks you’re so cute as you try to keep your voice steady, chuckling to himself when you moan out in between your words. He thinks it's unfortunate when you're forced to speak again due to the lady's persistent pestering.

“..Are you sure? You don’t sound-”

“Yes! E-Everything’s f-fine, I’ll be r-right out!” You cut her off, your mind still reeling from the strong blows that Nanami never ceases to give you.

You faintly hear her muttering an 'Okay' before her heels recede into the crowded store. In all honesty, you believe you're starting to hear colors now. He was fucking you so good, and when you feel that familiar fire pit burning in your lower abdomen, you know what's coming. Or, in this case, who’s coming. You.

Nanami knows it, too, because your cunt just squeezed twice as hard on him. It’s practically pulsing open and close. You’re trying to fucking milk him.

“Good job, sweetheart. Y’gonna be my good girl from now on?” His hand doesn't even bother to cover your mouth anymore. Instead, his fingers reach down to your pulsating clit and start rubbing in tight circles. You forcefully bite your lip to prevent screaming out, savoring the metallic taste of blood on your tongue.

Nanami knows that if you let go of your lips right now, you're going to attract attention. He doesn't want that type of distraction at the moment, so he's not too upset about your quick nod as a response. He doesn't even think you know what he's saying, too drunk from the sensation of his cock to think about anything else other than that. Even so, you're saying yes. You, indeed, are perfect.

“Think you deserve to cum? I think you do, you were so good earlier talking to that lady. So cum, sweetheart. Make a mess f’me, yeah?”

That you definitely heard. It seems your pussy did, too, because she doesn't hesitate to squirt all over the floor. The mirror was being sprayed with your overflowing juices. Throughout it all, he was intensely watching you through the mirror, observing the face you make when you cum. It was so beautiful. The way your brows scrunch, and your eyes roll back, almost into your skull. The sight was enough for him to conceal his groans in your silk press, cumming so deeply inside of you that you thought it reached your womb.

Heavy breathing was all that could be heard under the faint music buzzing through the speakers. As Nanami slips out of you, you let out a whimper and gaze into the now-wet mirror, watching as he crouches down to where both he and your fluids are dripping out of you. You hear him mutter a curse under his breath, shivering when he runs his finger through your slightly gaping cum stuffed hole.

He lifts his finger, slipping it into his mouth to taste the aftermath of your.. lovemaking. He can detect some of your juices and his own. He only utters one word when he releases his finger with a pop,

“Sweet.”

He rises, gathers your clothes, and pockets the panties you wore when you initially came into the store. He believes that letting you confront people with his cum dripping down your thighs is an appropriate punishment. He pauses when he recalls something, “That date of yours tomorrow? Cancel it.”

Oh right! You didn't let him know that there wasn't a date.

“Kento?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“…I lied about having a date.”

Nanami freezes. His hands hold your skirt by your knees, and his eyes immediately catch yours in the mirror. He chuckles and shakes his head in astonishment when he realizes that this was your plan all along.

Despite not saying much, he whispers in a raspy voice,

“Brat.”

tags🏷️: @hatake05 @thickbihhwitdagapp

[seelestia]

⟡ within your waking thoughts (there i’ll be).

⎯ what do they do when they miss you? how do they cope with yearning when you're away? { y for yearning ノ ordered by @floraldresvi! (sorry for the ping!) }

RESERVED FOR! ノ characters. aventurine, sunday, dr. ratio ft. gn!reader. { 1.3k words }

FLAVOR! ノ genre. fluff, slight angst (my apology to sunday lovers yet again), established relationship.

TOPPINGS! ノ tags. aventurine has his tech savvy moment, pre-2.2 sunday (heavy references but no spoilers), ratio has two phones (king of separating work & personal life !!!).

BAKER’S NOTE! ノ thoughts. a repost! bcs tumblr didn't like it the first time. hopefully, this one will be here to stay. thank u to vivi for requesting this ‹3

© seelestia on tumblr, may 2024. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.

in your absence, aventurine welcomes little thoughts of you that float around his mind with open arms - and the way he indulges them is by simply texting you. effective and efficient, there is a reason why the cosmos calls it the second most used means for long distance communication. what about the first? well, he would've opted for calling you with his earpiece if only his line of work doesn't require 90% of its usage time.

let's just say the idea of fellow stonehearts interrupting his conversation with you ruins the fun. besides, he has deft fingers; coin tricks aren't the only thing in his book, you know, typing a few sentences in one go is no problem at all.

but maybe, he is using that too much to his advantage . . . considering the “25+” staring back at you from your notifications every few hours or so. aventurine is truly, irrevocably relentless.

anything even remotely in your favorite color found within his vicinity? new message: Saw something that reminded me of you, you must really like crossing my mind.

an item he thinks would fit you well? new message: I got you a gift. Does it suit your fancy? [1 attachment]

reminded of how cruel fate is to separate you two for so long? new message: Haven't seen your face in a while. Fifteen hours are a total too cruel, don't you agree?

have faith that you will never grasp the true meaning of boredom when you’re apart from him. luck follows a man like aventurine, so do interesting events - remember how he won a vacation to a resort with one chip? he revels in telling you stories of his encounters while you're away. it is as if thrill revolves around him constantly. . . one wonders just how he fares living on the edge of it all.

(you, for one, are aware of his ways. he has allowed you to wander far enough behind his masquerade, after all.)

of course, texts on an illuminated screen can barely compare to seeing you in person. he prefers having you in his arms instead - but he'll live. solitude is an old friend of his, albeit distant and cold, aventurine can deal with its company every once in a while. at the end of the day, he knows you’ll be there when he comes home.

though, it's such a shame he cannot see your face when you're apart. the curve of your lips as you smile, the twinkle in your eyes with his reflection in them, and. . . ah, seems like he is making this harder for himself. maybe, he should consider buying that HD holographic communicative device on the market? his ears caught wind of some P45 officers at pier point whispering about it before.

it'll cost a large sum of credits but hey, he thinks it'll be worth it. for you? anything is possible.

(...him? clingy? well, guilty as charged.)

sunday’s self-discipline is not something to be underestimated. halovians are a species known for their enchanting voices, yet he feels as if he cannot spare any for even his inner thoughts. what an irony. his longing for your presence is persistent, tumbling at the edge of his tongue - but he is equally as, if not more, stubborn and so he swallows this yearning down instantly.

you are not confined to the dreamscape like he is, as self-imposed as that may be. sunday is aware of that, hence his first instinct is to keep quiet. the curse of sealing his lips till forevermore; watching you leave through the grand doors, letting his gaze fall to where your shadow used to be, savoring the last of your remaining fragrance from when you last bade him goodbye - all without a word.

(don't go, he wished he could say.)

is it a bad habit? “your voice shouldn't be used just to utter words that others want to hear,” you reminded him once. “it's also for you. it's yours.”

but even then, your words are akin to a faint whisper; muffled by the thoughts that plague his mind like a mist. he can't help how they fog up his reflection in the mirror, leaving remnants of something acrid that wafts in the air. something like doubts, sunday would know because he has dwelled in it for as long as he remembers.

you are outside, fluttering your wings in the sky and enjoying what it has to offer. does he have any rights to disturb you? perhaps, in his eyes, sunday views himself as a string tied around your talon, trailing all the way from the heavens where you soar to the humble ground where he resides. each time your absence compels him to reach out, it is as if he’s tugging on that string and dragging you lower from the height you truly relish in, from the height you deserve to be at.

(sunday believes that you belong to the sky, unlike him.)

so here, he shall stay and here, he shall wait until you return. sunday’s heart begins to grow cold - but the farewell kiss you've left on the apple of his cheek hasn't faded. its warmth remains, even when he brushes his freezing hand against it, it remains.

you remain.

(and that is enough for him.)

dr. ratio is a man with a packed schedule, so it's safe to say he keeps himself occupied particularly well. tasks at the intelligentsia guild are nothing short of demanding, after all. there are researchers asking for his input left and right, although some tremble while speaking to him even when he hasn't even uttered a word yet. ignoring that, he also aids in projects that require his expertise. last but not least, his students and classes which he takes very seriously.

(but be careful with how you phrase it — the doctor doesn't view them as distractions, no, he sees them as his responsibilities — saying the former might offend him.)

as you can see, he is perfectly capable of spending time away from you. . . .or at least, until it's time for a break and a part of that perfection chips off.

his office is quite tranquil, free from outside noise, just the way he likes. this place bears a similar purpose as his headgear, to let him focus in silence without disturbance - but he hasn't expected that exact silence to be this deafening. hah, how absurd! in what realm of possibility could silence ever be associated with deafening as an adjective? he supposes it could be a case of tinnitus. . . but veritas knows that isn't the case.

something's missing and it is, much to his dismay, you.

veritas has his standards. he prefers things to be set at a specific level - and this level of silence, one marred further by your lack of presence, is too low for him. he's getting too used to seeing you barge into his office with neatly packed sandwiches in your hands, a revelation he'd rather keep to himself.

veritas reaches for his personal phone, his work one left neglected at the far end of the desk. he considers making a call to you but the clock is ticking. tick tock tick tock, as if to hang the fact that his break is reaching its end over his head.

utilizing whatever time he has left, his finger gives the gallery app a tap. various pictures pop up on the screen; selfies of you with silly expressions, candid shots of veritas himself and some photos of random objects like your matching mugs. all of these were taken by you, of course. seriously, is this his phone or is it yours?

who knows at this point? he nearly lets out a snort, but that smile on his face is fooling no one. the doctor continues scrolling through his gallery, utterly content with just this until he gets home. to you.

(yes, yes, this still counts as keeping himself occupied. thank you for your concern.)

— thank you for reading! reblogs with comments are most appreciated.

[lottiies]

RESTORING NATURAL BEAUTY

ᡣ𐭩 Pure fluff!! Leon takes your makeup off for you

WC: 700+

NOTE: this is completely self indulgent because i do in fact love doing a full face of makeup it’s so fun (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) um lowkey think the tags are pretty dead right now but it’s okay idm

MASTERLIST

Putting makeup on is always fun, but laziness sets in whenever the time to wash it all off arrives. You wish you could cover your ears and sing ‘la la la, I can’t hear you’ to the knowledge that sleeping with a full face was in fact harmful to your skin. But you couldn’t. The world is becoming more and more advanced but they still haven’t been able to create products that you can sleep with? What a joke.

You’re cuddling with Leon, smushing yourself against his chest, your dolled up face threatening to smudge foundation and powder all over his shirt.

“I’m so tired, Leon. I wanna go to sleep.”

“And what’s stopping you?”

“This.” You say in a grumpy tone, lifting your face and looking up at him through your false lashes.

“Ah. Don’t pout, I’ll take it off for you.” He smiled fondly at you, holding you as he stood up from the bed. Leon was well aware you didn’t want to get up, so he easily scooped you into his strong arms, carrying you over to the bathroom and setting you down on the closed lid of the toilet. You didn’t even have to move an inch or ask him to do anything. What a man.

Leon hadn’t known much about makeup removal prior to dating you, but he was pretty much an expert now. Micellar water, cleanser, face wash, and then tons of kisses to your face was the solution. He was smart, a quick learner, he was sure he even knew how to apply your makeup just the way you liked it at this point just by observing you. His hands were steady, they had to be in order for him to have a good aim when the world was in peril…surely doing your makeup wouldn’t be too difficult, right?

He washed his hands thoroughly then pat them before going over to you, the scent of soap lingered on his skin.

“Close your eyes, princess.” Once you did, he carefully took your falsies off. He always felt a bit uneasy at this step, what if he hurt you or accidentally pulled your actual lashes off? He’d never hear the end of it.

He put some micellar water onto a cotton pad. One of his hands held onto your jaw oh so gently, making you tilt your head back a bit. He couldn’t resist, leaning down momentarily to steal a kiss from your pouty lips, you were always so sulky when you were tired. But his sweet gesture made you smile.

“There’s my girl, you’re so pretty when you smile.”

“So I’m not pretty when I’m not smiling?”

“You’re cute when you’re sulking and pretty when you smile.”

“What about when I’m mad?”

“Adorable. Like…” He tried to come up with an example. “When a kitten tries to scratch at you but it’s too cute to do any damage.”

Silence followed, you couldn’t make a comeback so you just changed the topic instead. Typical.

“Would you ever let me do your eyeliner?” You asked, relishing the way he tilted your face side to side to ensure he was running the cotton pad over all areas of your face.

“Mm…” He hummed in thought, purposely taking a long time to answer. “Yeah, I would. Why? You wanna make me look all pretty like you?”

“You’re already really pretty, silly. I’ve always told you that you’d totally rock the eyeliner look.”

He would. Eye makeup would look amazing on him. Or maybe having that cute cupid’s bow of his be more pronounced with some lip liner. You secretly hoped he would never ask you to put foundation on him though, maybe you were being a bit hypocritical but you internally couldn’t help it! Leon was crafted with so many dreamy details. You were blessed enough to have the chance to see them up close and adore them. The faint set of wrinkles between his brows from the stress of his job that made him furrow his eyebrows all the time, all the little acne scars and skin imperfections he held. You’d be devastated if he hid them all. But the most he has asked is for you to use concealer on his eye-bags.

“Maybe tomorrow then, if you’re up for it?”

“Okay! Um, I might mess up a bit though…my hand gets all shaky.”

“That’s what this micellar water is for, isn’t it?”

He rubbed off all your makeup, admiring all your natural features that shone through. Leon had always been attracted to your talent of applying makeup, having watched you switch styles and improve over time. He always liked sitting with you as you did your makeup, you always acted like you were doing some type of YouTube tutorial and he found it so fucking cute. Like, he would smooch you over and over if he wouldn’t be putting your routine into jeopardy. The surge of affection that rushed through him when he laid eyes on your bare face was indescribable.

Gorgeous. Cute. Pretty. Beautiful. All of the above, he wished there was a word that combined all of those into one.

[nefastidies]

Inspired by "Implicit Demand for Proof" by imperialhuxness

-1-

“I need you on the ground,” Ren says instead, measured, but tight-strung as a grappling cable. Apparently sensing the retort on the tip of Hux’s tongue, he continues, “But I’m not taking you into the thick of combat.”

Hux thins his lips, keeps up the patient tone. “That’s where this team and I will be most effective.”

“At too high a risk.”

Since when do you care about risks? Hux barely bites back, instead manages, level, “Nothing we do is without risk.”

Ren’s gaze flashes with an insistence that isn’t anger. His eyes are like coals, waiting for a spark. “I’m not taking you into that firefight.”

Really.

Fucking really.

“So you won’t take me into a firefight,” Hux lowers his voice to a hiss, but it still reverbs under the high ceiling, “yet you dragged me ten klicks below the surface of Coruscant.”

“Well, maybe I--” Ren hesitates, gnawing his lips. His gaze drops to the mosaic tile between their boots, then flickers back to Hux’s face. “I shouldn’t have.”

Hux is too pissed off to bask in the near-admission of wrong. “Well, you can compensate by bringing me this time, when it makes actual, tactical sense.”

“You’re not going into a combat zone.”

“I was born and raised in a--”

Ren’s voice drops to a whisper. “That’s an order,” he says, invoking it almost gently, below earshot of the men.

Hux purses his lips, aware of his surroundings again. Of the absolute indecorum of this argument.

Around himself and Ren, three officers stare at their feet, four tap too aggressively at their datapads. The two trooper commanders confer in whispers about a new blaster model. Mitaka seems interested in the mosaic on the floor.

“Yes, sir,” Hux forces out, Academy pert, and the gathered staff returns more or less to professional attention.

--- -2-

Hux whirls toward the sound as a massive shape bursts through the treeline, scattering leaves. Some sort of megafauna. Some sort of monster.

The creature’s smooth skin glistens livid green, its underbelly sickly pale. Its mouth opens wide, baring short, sharp teeth like a Rodian fly-trap’s. It has six legs, each ending in a crustacean pincer, which stab the ground with each step. It reeks of rot and salt, as if it just crawled out of brackish water.

Hux’s pulse skyrockets, and he jumps back on adrenaline. Why do you ever leave the ship, every time you leave the ship it’s some shit like this, every goddamn time—

He yells to Ren that they should run, even as the creature screeches again, lunges toward them.

But Ren stays put. “You should run.”

And Hux would. He would, but he’s already several meters back, and the soles of his boots weigh a kiloton. He’s rooted to the ground. The blood pounds in his ears, and he can’t move, can’t think.

The thing screeches. It’s high-pitched. It rends the air. Its movements ruffle the foliage around it. Its pincers break the damp earth.

Ren steps in front of Hux. Into its path.

--- -3-

But Yago’s lips still twist into something unbearably self-satisfied. “General Armitage Hux,” he says, “was executed six months ago on a charge of high treason. So even if Hux were alive, it would be my sworn duty to have him shot in the back of the head.”

It hits like a blow. Phantom pain lances through his leg, between his ribs. Yago’s right. There’s no defense when he’s--

Before Hux can formulate one, Ren’s gaze kindles. “I’m Supreme Leader,” he returns, typical thoughtless clapback. “I hereby pardon him.”

(Typical thoughtless clapback.)

Everyone knows traitors receive no mercy.

--- -4-

A humanoid figure emerges from the shadows like he’s been waiting there. In two strides, he closes the distance to Hux and Ren. It’s clear he’s part alien, skin teal-tinged and marked with pale striations. His voice is somewhat rough with drink, but his movements are smooth, purposeful, eyes trained on Hux.

“Thought you could just slip out with your date?” he spits.

There are far bigger concerns than correcting the assumption.

“What?” Hux returns, elegantly.

“The bartender told me you were coming this way,” the man says, ill-concealed rage contorting his mouth. “Got a lot more nerve than I’d give you credit for, showing your face like this.”

Shit. Hux’s pulse picks up, and for a second the alley takes on the sharp edges of panic. You knew this would happen eventually, you knew -- Stop.

“I’m sorry,” he says, tamping down the worst case scenario, “what are you--” 

But it’s like he doesn’t even hear it. 

“Kind of man that’ll pull a trigger from a thousand lightyears away. Not even the guts to look at what you’d done.” The man’s eyes flash with the sort of hatred Hux actually recognizes. “My wife was on Courtsilius, General Hux .”

The man takes a step closer, and Hux is about to spread his hands and explain with a baffled simper that he’s got the wrong person. That the Hosnian ‘Cataclysm’ was an unspeakable tragedy and a monstrous war crime.

But before he can speak, sulfurous green ignites in his periphery. The air hums, cracks with the sudden whiff of ozone. The blade of the antique saber impales the man’s chest.

--- -5-

Ren shakes his head. “But I still need you,” he says, eyes glittering, desperate, searching. “What about weapons dev? And you can actually conduct diplomacy--”

Hux cracks a smile. “That’s going a bit far.”

Ren huffs a laugh, but doesn’t indulge him. “You balance me,” he continues. “I don’t know what I’ll do. I love you.”

Hux’s pulse drops into his stomach. His spine stiffens, more from surprise than actual discomfort. It isn’t a concept with which he’s familiar. But it’s right, somehow. As Ren’s eyes search his face, curious but unshrinking, he can’t deny it.

[seelestars]

WHO CONFESSES FIRST ? (sunday, aventurine)

a/n : i apologize for being super super duper inactive… motivation has been hard for me to find, but now w penacony i feel more inspired! and luckily, im on break so hopefully ill be able to write a bunch more (*≧∀≦*) my writing might not be the best rn, im still slowly trying to ease into writing so do forgive me </3

sunday

- I feel like he would be the type to confess first

- he’s a bit shy about it, but he tries his best to not let it show ! (●´ω｀●)

- he would plan out the whole thing meticulously, making sure everything is exactly how he wants it to be during his confession

- if even one thing is out of place (ex. it rains) then he completely reschedules it

- he’s unsure what gifts to get you, so he ends up getting everything that he thinks you’d like !

the weather was perfect for a stroll, or even for mundane relaxation. sunday could feel himself grow nervous as he patiently waited for you to arrive. his hands were filled with flowers, chocolates, and cute little trinkets that reminded him of you. he knew it would be quite unusual if other people spotted the head of the oak family out in a very populated area while holding a bunch of gifts, so he decided to make sure not a lot of people would be around at this hour.

soon enough, you had arrived. your eyes immediately widened as you gasped at the sight of the plethora of things he had gotten you. “sunday… is this all for me?” you state at him in awe, your eyes softening at the slight rosy tint that adorned his cheeks. if you looked closely enough, you could notice the way his wings fluttered gently at the sound of your voice.

“…yes. it’s all for you.” sunday responds, averting his gaze as he braces himself to ask the question he’d been dying to ask. “it’s because I wanted to ask you something. …will you allow me to be your boyfriend?” to really make the moment seem more sincere, he builds up the courage to meet your gaze. his heart was beating incredibly fast as he eagerly anticipated your response—which would hopefully be a yes.

“awww, of course I would!” you laugh softly as you put the gifts you’ve received to the side, tackling him into a warm embrace. “all of this was very sweet of you.” you hum, looking up at him with a gaze so loving it made him shudder and fluster. it was obvious sunday was unused to receiving such affection as he smiles awkwardly, finally able to calm down now that you’ve agreed to date him.

aventurine

- now I feel like he’d push you to confess on purpose once he is sure the feelings he harbors for you is mutual

- he plays hard to get, acting oblivious to your attempts at hinting at your affection for him

- he just can’t help but keep on playing such a game—your determination is so cute to him ! ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

- he gives you just enough hope so that you’d persist with your attempts at courting him

- despite how he makes it seem like your tries don’t have much of an impact of him, he’s thinking about it day and night

you don’t know what gave you this sudden burst of confidence, but you were starting to regret it. though, you supposed it was too late now as you were already tapping on aventurine’s shoulder to grab his attention. “h-hey, can I ask you something?” you try your best to appear self-assured as you hide the gift you had for him behind your back.

“ah? it’s rare for you to be asking me things out of nowhere.” aventurine smirks in amusement as he turns around to face you, raising his eyebrows. “it must be a very important question… one that you can’t rest peacefully without knowing the answer to~” he hums, subtly teasing you. of course, he knew the reason behind why you suddenly decided to grab his attention. he was aware of your feelings for him, after all.

“…yes, you’re right. It’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now.” you sigh, narrowing your eyes at him once you picked up on his teasing. “before I ask you… you won’t judge me or laugh at me in case you find the question foolish, right…?” aventurine didn’t even have a chance to answer that question as you have already started to talk again. “w-will you date me?!” you nervously pair your confession with the gift you had for him—a box of his favorite perfume.

there was an awkward silence between the both of you for a while. you knew it, he would never want to date you. he seemed out of your league, with many better options surrounding him. but then, to your surprise, his response was one that wasn’t rejecting you. “why not?” aventurine could feel his grin widen as he looked at the perfume, then up at you. his boldness shocked you, as it caused him to give you a quick peck on your lips. “haha! look at you! redder than any wine out there~” he teases, though it ultimately earned him a playful smack.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Bandits

As a game of heroic fantasy that centers so primarily on combat, D&D  is more often than not a game about righteous violence, which is why I spend so much time thinking about the targets of that violence. Every piece of media made by humans is a thing created from conscious or unconscious design, it’s saying something whether or not its creators intended it to do so. 

Tolkien made his characters peaceloving and pastoral, and coded his embodiment of evil as powerhungry, warlike, and industrial. When d&d directly cribbed from Tolkien's work it purposely changed those enemies to be primitive tribespeople who were resentful of the riches the “civilized” races possessed. Was this intentional? None can say, but as a text d&d says something decidedly different than Tolkien. 

That's why today I want to talk about bandits, the historical concept of being an “outlaw”, and how media uses crime to “un-person” certain classes of people in order to give heroes a target to beat up. 

Tldr: despite presenting bandits as a generic threat, most d&d scenarios never go into detail about what causes bandits to exist, merely presuming the existence of outlaws up to no good that the heroes should feel no qualms about slaughtering. If your story is going to stand up to the scrutiny of your players however, you need to be aware of WHY these individuals have been driven to banditry, rather than defaulting to “they broke the law so they deserve what’s coming to them.”

I got to thinking about writing this post when playing a modded version of fallout 4, an npc offhndedly mentioned to me that raiders (the postapoc bandit rebrand) were too lazy to do any farming and it was good that I’d offed them by the dozens so that they wouldn’t make trouble for those that did. 

That gave me pause, fallout takes place in an irradiated wasteland where folks struggle to survive but this mod was specifically about rebuilding infrastructure like farms and ensuring people had enough to get by. Lack of resources to go around was a specific justification for why raiders existed in the first place, but as the setting became more arable the mod-author had to create an excuse why the bandit’s didn’t give up their violent ways and start a nice little coop, settling on them being inherently lazy , dumb, and psychopathic.   

This is exactly how d&d has historically painted most of its “monstrous humanoid” enemies. Because the game is ostensibly about combat the authors need to give you reasons why a peaceful solution is impossible, why the orcs, goblins, gnolls (and yes, bandits), can’t just integrate with the local town or find a nice stretch of wilderness to build their own settlement on and manage in accordance with their needs. They go so far in this justification that they end up (accidently or not) recreating a lot of IRL arguments for persecution and genocide.

Bandits are interesting because much like cultists, it’s a descriptor that’s used to unperson groups of characters who would traditionally be inside the “not ontologically evil” bubble that’s applied to d&d’s protagonists.   Break the law or worship the wrong god says d&d and you’re just as worth killing as the mindless minions of darkness, your only purpose to serve as a target of the protagonist’s righteous violence.  

The way we get around this self-justification pitfall and get back to our cool fantasy action game is to relentlessly question authority, not only inside the game but the authors too. We have to interrogate anyone who'd show us evil and direct our outrage a certain way because if we don't we end up with crusades, pogroms, and Qanon.

With that ethical pill out of the way, I thought I’d dive into a listing of different historical groups that we might call “Bandits” at one time or another and what worldbuilding conceits their existence necessitates. 

Brigands: By and large the most common sort of “bandit” you’re going to see are former soldiers left over from wars, often with a social gap between them and the people they’re raiding that prevents reintegration ( IE: They’re from a foreign land and can’t speak the local tongue, their side lost and now they’re considered outlaws, they’re mercenaries who have been stiffed on their contract).  Justifying why brigands are out brigading is as easy as asking yourself “What were the most recent conflicts in this region and who was fighting them?”. There’s also something to say about how a life of trauma and violence can be hard to leave even after the battle is over, which is why you historically tend to see lots of gangs and paramilitary groups pop up in the wake of conflict. 

Raiders:  fundamentally the thing that has caused cultures to raid eachother since the dawn of time is sacristy. When the threat of starvation looms it’s far easier to justify potentially throwing your life away if it means securing enough food to last you and those close to you through the next year/season/day. Raider cultures develop in biomes that don’t support steady agriculture, or in times where famine, war, climate change, or disease make the harvests unreliable. They tend to target neighboring cultures that DO have reliable harvests which is why you frequently see raiders emerging from “the barbaric frontier” to raid “civilization” that just so happens to occupy the space of a reliably fertile river valley. When thinking about including raiders in your story, consider what environmental forces have caused this most recent and previous raids, as well as consider how frequent raiding has shaped the targeted society. Frequent attacks by raiders is how we get walled palaces and warrior classes after all, so this shit is important. 

Slavers: Just like raiding, most cultures have engaged in slavery at one point or another, which is a matter I get into here. While raiders taking captives is not uncommon, actively attacking people for slaves is something that starts occurring once you have a built up slave market, necessitating the existence of at least one or more hierarchical societies that need more disposable workers than then their lower class is capable of providing. The roman legion and its constant campaigns was the apparatus by which the imperium fed its insatiable need for cheap slave labor. Subsistence raiders generally don’t take slaves en masse unless they know somewhere to sell them, because if you’re having trouble feeding your own people you’re not going to capture more ( this is what d&d gets wrong about monstrous humanoids most of the time). 

Tax Farmers: special mention to this underused classic, where gangs of toughs would bid to see who could collect money for government officials, and then proceed to ransack the realm looking to squeeze as much money out of the people as possible. This tends to happen in areas where the state apparatus is stretched too thin or is too lighthanded to have established enduring means of funding.  Tax farmers are a great one-two punch for campaigns where you want your party to be set up against a corrupt authority: our heroes defeat the marauding bandits and then oh-no, turns out they were not only sanctioned by the government but backed by an influential political figure who you’ve just punched in the coinpurse.  If tax farming exists it means the government is strong enough to need a yearly budget but not so established (at least in the local region) that it’s developed a reliably peaceful method of maintaining it.  

Robber Baron: Though the term is now synonymous with ruthless industrialists, it originated from the practice of shortmidned petty gentry (barons and knights and counts and the like) going out to extort and even rob THEIR OWN LANDS out of a desire for personal enrichment/boredom. Schemes can range from using their troops to shake down those who pass through their domain to outright murdering their own peasants for sport because you haven’t gotten to fight in a war for a while.  Just as any greed or violence minded noble can be a robber baron so it doesn’t take that much of a storytelling leap but I encourage you to channel all your landlord hate into this one. 

Rebels: More than just simple outlaws, rebels have a particular cause they’re a part of (just or otherwise) that puts them at odds with the reigning authority. They could violently support a disfavoured political faction, be acting out against a law they think is unjust, or hoping to break away from the authority entirely. Though attacks against those figures of authority are to be expected, it’s all too common for rebels to go onto praying on common folk for the sake of the cause.  To make a group of rebels worth having in your campaign pinpoint an issue that two groups of people with their own distinct interests could disagree on, and then ratchet up the tension. Rebels have to be able to beleive in a cause, so they have to have an argument that supports them.

Remnants: Like a hybrid of brigands, rebels, and taxfarmers, Remnants represent a previously legitimate system of authority that has since been replaced but not yet fully disappeared. This can happen either because the local authority has been replaced by something new (feudal nobles left out after a monarchy toppling revolution) or because it has faded entirely ( Colonial forces of an empire left to their own devices after the empire collapses). Remnants often sat at the top of social structures that had endured for generations and so still hold onto the ghost of power ( and the violence it can command) and the traditions that support it.  Think about big changes that have happened in your world of late, are the remnants looking to overturn it? Win new privilege for themselves? Go overlooked by their new overlords?

Art

[wallflowers-in-the-wind]

Imma say something controversial (shocking I know).

Feyre. Is. A. Bad. Partner.

Her version of communication is to say something once, never bring it up again then silently throw a fit when her partner doesn’t immediately get it. This puts Tamlin in such a negative light because this makes it seem like he doesn’t care. Tamlin cares! He cares so damn much but he isn’t a mind reader like RhySAnd.

Yes she is suffering, yes she has trauma, but the readers are the only ones who know how bad it is. Tamlin doesn’t know this! How the hell can he? We also can’t forget Tamlin is suffering too, he has his own trauma he’s doing through but he doesn’t have the luxury to having time to deal with everything. And he can’t help Feyre if she won’t tell him what’s wrong. Not just mentioning it once or saying the most extreme comments without warning.

She. NEEDS. To. Tell. Him. What. Is. Wrong!

All Tamlin can do is guess and be there for her. If he tries to force her to eat she wouldn’t respond well and the fandom would have a field day claiming it’s another sign of abuse. So he tries to encourage her to get back into her hobbies. But Feyre is the one who chooses not to. Feyre is the one who tortured herself after what happened.

And by doing so she builds these higher than life expectations of Tamlin that he can’t meet. He can’t read her mind, he can’t put his duties to the Spring Court aside, and he won’t let her put herself in danger (FOR HER SAFETY).

They had just gotten free of Amarantha (who Tamlin killed) and the world is in an unstable chaos. It’s not something that can be put aside until Feyre and Tamlin feel better or up to it. And Tamlin is doing his best to get it fixed as quickly and safely as possible because there is more than Amarantha they have to worry about. This is something Tamlin should have told her but he probably didn’t want to trigger her trauma.

Yet Tamlin still tries to be there for her but he can only do so much and for Feyre and her lack of self awareness it’s not enough.

If you don’t communicate don’t act shocked when your partner doesn’t understand why you act the way you do. Or try to change the narrative to act like you’re the victim when you are purposely making yourself the victim.

[cyb3rtarot]

 Pick a Pile: Nature Messages

Disclaimer: In this PAP I'm reading my homemade nature-based oracle with tarot and other oracle decks. There’s general messages and advice. Readings are not replacements for professional advice! Take what confirms you and leave what confuses you.

pile 1 ❀.ೃ࿔ pile 2 pile 3 ❀.ೃ࿔ pile 4

ᨒ↟

Pile 1:

Rushing Water

[Healing (King of Emotion), Receptivity (Queen of Emotion), Uncertainty]

Hi pile 1! This pile has gone through a major healing period, or you might be in the tail-end of it. This could have been intense or fast—like a whirlwind of purged emotions and memories. Mental energy that was stagnant for a long time was suddenly swept away, and not painlessly. Now you’re a clean slate. You understood the importance of exfoliating these old mindsets, and there’s an inner child ready to look at everything with wonder again. Roles you have been forced to play dissipate. You can decide who you are instead of only reacting to an idea of yourself. There’s a sense of starting again and freshly taking in the world.

Beauty

[Experiencing, You Can’t Go Back to Yesterday, Ordinariness]

You have opportunities to appreciate the moment. You might be leaving a door open for things from the past, or you feel anxious about where to start with your new self. Be in the present! The beauty of life is coming through the routine and mundane—appreciating existence even when nothing big is happening. Finding joy in just being and the small things can help rebuild yourself. Appreciation will help you feel more connected and aware in the grand scheme of things. But, it’s harder to be open to this beauty if you’re still holding old expectations over yourself. Physical activities rather than mental ones may be especially helpful at this time, such as walking or gardening. 

Cactus

[The Tower rx, Impossible Things rx, Achievement (Sun in Capricorn, 10th house)]

Your defenses are up. Many of you have constant worry as a backdrop to everything. You’re waiting for something big to happen or to blow up in your face. Some are waiting for a dead situation to revive and putting your defenses up to everything else. Part of healing is trusting yourself to manage even when you don’t have all the facts. Waiting for something to happen can function as a way to ignore your present life or procrastinate, and you might end up ignoring lovely things. There’s irony here, having skepticism about good possibilities but not being skeptical about the worst possibilities. Not every day can be a tower moment. Many days are regular and will slip into time, which is why the opportunity to experience and steer it now can be a gift. Remembering this will create a strong foundation for later.

Advice—Bonfire

[Consciousness (Ace of Mind), Nothingness, 7 of cups]

The only mental suit in your reading is in your advice, and it emphasizes not overthinking. Awareness is needed to find yourself underneath your stressors, otherwise you may treat those as inherent parts of your character and life. This awareness can be found in joys of the mundane, letting your inner child out, and celebrating. Do things that bring you out of your head and into the physical. Or, activities that join reflection with sensory experience, such as meditating with candles & incense. Don’t waste your new self seeking those who can only accept past versions of you. If being present means taking more time with just yourself, that’s okay. Purposeful alone time is very helpful right now, especially during night if you can make time. You have a vast abundance of potential in and around you that can sprout anything, but you won’t truly understand or appreciate the extent of this if you don’t live it. Slow down and appreciate the warmth that’s already available. Also, don’t beat yourself up for progressing slower. 

Extra Details: coastal areas (coves or hills, golden sand), the beach at night, yellow stars (star shaped lamp?), working with friends/partner (especially if you left), The Office, gratitude practices (affirmations, journaling, etc), greatly increased intuition, or increased feelings of connection to Source/God/Higher Self/etc—you felt the connection was strained before? There’s awareness of something bigger than yourself, even your emotions or soul. xxxHolic, healing heart & throat energies, blue, water Sun & Moon, water N. Node (especially Cancer), Venus dominant, Venus-Moon natal aspect, heavy Cancer placements, feeling hopeful about career/finances or taking steps in that area (even slowly), trees/tree-hugging, taking care of plants, feeling like you’re given or gifted things & opportunities (but maybe you don’t care for whatever these are lol), shooting stars/meteor showers, comets, making a wish (or you feel very hopeful at this time), starting a new solo project or career, waiting for an ex (partner or friend), deer in headlights, lotus, feeling alone especially at night (you may want to try setting aside peaceful time if you’re usually busy at night or do something to purposefully wind down). If you were already drawn to pile 3 it may resonate

ᨒ↟

Pile 2:

Hope

[Innocence, Nothingness, Awareness]

Hello pile 2! There's a very new and wonder-filled energy. An old version of yourself is dying so to speak, and you’re entering a different headspace. You might feel like a kid again, or life is prompting you to give your inner child power. Some of you are worried that means making bad decisions or indulging in things you shouldn’t? But this is about the innocence in your inner child’s perspective—and you still have knowledge and experience to express this part of yourself wisely.

With Nothingness + Awareness, I feel you’re already embodying this, but some of you have anxiety that’s stopping your enjoyment and hope. There may be shame with past relationships. Like how you may have gotten used, or you’re angry at yourself for things you didn’t notice. This is a good time to revisit activities and places you loved in your childhood. They can help integrate the experience you gained with your inner child. Time alone with yourself and nostalgia, becoming reacquainted with yourself & life (finding healthy ways to engage with nostalgia is important for you). Things that were blinding you have passed and you've been made anew. Lay down the last self-judgements so you can be fully aware of life’s present potential. If you already felt drawn to pile one, this “clean-slate” vibe and huge energy of potential is very similar. Or, you might have friends that embody the energy of pile one.

Organization

[Friendliness, Manipulation (Jupiter in Scorpio, 8th house), All in the Golden Afternoon]

In terms of divine timing, there's a time and place for everything. What doesn’t make sense now may be a key piece of a puzzle later or an important shift. Many of you are having a faith or emotional crisis. You may feel strained with the grand scheme of things or a higher power, wondering why things happen the way they do. This is linked to that clean-slate energy, as this transformation of self/beliefs is having a profound impact on your inner world. These strong emotions (especially if you’re angry or indignant) can fuel your investigation of life, your new beliefs, and in creating.

You could be experiencing things emotionally & spiritually you never have before, especially in relation to a major loss in the last 6-9 months. Some of you got some blessing or achievement related to this time and you may feel conflicted about it. Regardless, balancing socializing with alone time is important for you. Interacting with others will help you make sense of the world, can inspire you, and can also help you work through grief both of you may be experiencing. The phrase “checking in” comes to mind; both you and your loved ones can benefit from being more there for each other. This doesn’t extend to people who no longer have a healthy space in your life. Some of you are punishing yourself or caging yourself in loneliness by not seeking healthy social interaction. Intentional alone time is good, but not as a way to punish yourself.

Underwater

[Clinging to the Past, Keep Your Temper, Discovery (Mercury in Sagittarius, 9th house)]

Positive outlets for emotions and restlessness are very important. Strong emotions have come out twice. You may feel like you’re drowning in feelings or confusion. You could have an explosive or blinding temper right now that you’re suppressing. There’s anxiety & fear about how fast or strangely things are moving in your life—especially if any kind of intuition, spiritual practice, or similar things have developed. But the fear you feel is not reflective of your abilities. Loss, change, and learning curves ARE scary. I keep getting this self-punishment or self-“inflammatory” (?) vibe. Like when too much emotion or confusion builds up, you become your own target (especially in anger). Your emotional capacity is not the enemy. Always seek professional emotional help or stress management if you need it; don’t take it out on yourself when life is hard. Your emotions are powerful when directed into something non-destructive. That’s easier said than done, but the bottom row of your reading really emphasizes self-discoveries, creative ideas, and new perspectives your emotions can lead you to. Healthy ways to manage your explosive side will help you tap into this. For example, travel keeps coming up. Going somewhere to clear your head and get away from stifling energy could help, especially if you can travel somewhere special to you. Even going to a new place locally can shift energy. A lot of you are experiencing this because of grief or because rapid changes are pushing you to the familiarity of the past. You may look at past people with rose-tinted glasses or long for innocent times. This can be another form of self-punishment—making yourself obsess over what once was (or never was) instead of loving present you. You are braver than you let yourself feel.

Advice—Decay

[Impulsiveness (Mars in Aries, 1st house), the Lovers rx, Page of Swords rx]

There’s an important ending; this could be part of the grief mentioned if you’re now trying to feel alive again. You’re clinging to something that’s gone or leaving, and this is fanning the flames of emotion. All things naturally reach endings, and there's more on the other side of the transformation. What steps can you take that signify a new mindset? It can be as simple as trying a new activity.

I am picking up a lot about communication with another. Maybe a relationship is coming to a close or not on good terms, or you’ve been thinking about communicating with someone from the past. Maintain a wide and objective perspective; very high emotions may cloud your communication skills. It’s not so much about regret, but you may not be satisfied if you speak while upset. For those that resonated with this, you may also resonate with the message below (I channeled it before I wrote this part).

Specific message: please be careful of overindulging, especially drinking! This message is so important, it came through in my dream before I pulled your cards. Your guides or whatever forces you believe in are really, really wanting me to stress about not overdoing it in this department, especially if you tend to think you’re more sober than you are, or go from 0 to 100? Be very aware of your pacing because there’s something about easily going overboard without realizing, and potential communication in regards to that such as drunk confessions. This is 200% so if you’re hosting or going to a party/get-together, or socially drinking. If you’ve been drinking more this is fueling your past regrets and nostalgia.

Extra Details: restless/excited energy (& anticipation/anxiety), transitory period, anxiety in your chest, blocked heart/throat/third eye energy (may feel an imagination block; journaling can help). Great Red Spot, starfish, suddenly feeling very intuitive, confused about spiritual/religious beliefs, Jupiter as an important natal planet, Sagittarius + Scorpio placements, fire Moon and Mars, water & fire as dominant elements in inner planets & Jupiter, death of someone that changed your life but you weren’t close or on good terms (already happened), rehab, wanting to host a party/get-together, angry or confused with God/universe, putting on an "okay" attitude for others’ sake, nostalgic dreams, feeling stagnant, questioning or leaving a music career (singing, gospel/spiritual music?), veggie tales?, gardening (maybe in childhood), wanting to break no communication or text an ex/new crush, finding online communities, “Are We Moving Too Fast?” by Malibu 92, feeling like you’re in a dream/ infatuated with a dream version of someone, love songs, Kyoukai no Kanata

ᨒ↟

Pile 3:

Changing of the Seasons

[The Lovers, Abundance (King of Material), Sharing (Queen of Action)]

Hi pile 3! You guys are embodying a new energy much like the other piles. Your cards show having so much to be shared. With the King of the physical suit, this is likely material blessings. Some of you have been struggling with past regret/vendettas, and deciding to move on has shifted the energy. Or, some of you are starting a new faith? This is a very fulfilling time and it reminds me of Summer, with all the abundance and “sunshine-y” energy (maybe a significant season for you). Wholeheartedly embrace however this manifests; matching the effort from the Universe/higher power/etc will increase your success (I also heard “manifold;” there could be many things happening at once).

Let go of lack, scarcity, and insecure mindsets; there’s enough to go around. This Lovers card speaks of how people mirror each other and how love evolves into compassion. Embracing compassion—and trusting that it’s okay to feel safety and joy—will allow abundance to overflow. This can even just be uplifting yourself and those around you with positivity. This extends into your community, uplifting the “village”. It goes the other way too. If people would like to support you in a healthy way, let them! Don’t be afraid of people expressing their love to you as assistance. Effort from you OR those in union with you will help increase good things that are already going (like how the land grows fruit regardless, but farmers can multiply it drastically). Seasons come and go so make the most of a fruitful one!

If your success/wellbeing is heavily tied to someone close, this could be a great time for both of you. The increases one of you experiences will be very positively mirrored or appreciated by the other, especially for happily married people. You may want to share more, help & be helped more by the other at this time.

Resourcefulness

[Ace of wands, 10 of wands sideways, Publicity (Jupiter in Leo, 5th house)]

Get your hands into the new opportunities life is throwing your way. Have a direct experience with life. This pile might use manifestation methods where you mostly sit back and allow it to come to you. Or there’s a similar approach of watching + waiting, not really getting into things too much as you wait for what’s meant for you to present itself. You might also always keep manifesting something, like even as your manifestations appear, you go after something else instead of interacting with it. You’re highly encouraged to get INTO whatever life has to offer right now, to actively co-create and experience the world. I heard “recognition;” that may be what’s in store if you exert effort. How can you make the most of the present, the fertile ground? Idk why there’s so many farming metaphors but they represent your situation, how the “land”/life is there for you to work and multiply the natural blessings. Even in a shared blessing, you can make it work especially for you—if you’re willing to get your hands dirty (metaphorically, not promoting corruption or shady behavior lol). This could be work but it feels more like creativity, passion, faith.

There’s also something about working too hard with the 10 of wands sideways. Maybe you’re used to working and grinding hard all the time. These opportunities prompt you to view “hard” work more creatively and openly. Especially if you've struggled materially—and maybe that’s why some of you have passive manifesting styles. Adapt—as all nature must to make the most of the situation—don’t bring old approaches forward that don’t serve the present. What helps you survive Winter may not be beneficial in Spring.

Faction

[3 of wands, Justice rx, Belong to Your Own Dream]

This seems like energy from someone around you rather than you. What I’m getting is a group or partnership of people that’s so heavily tied, something happening to one affects all. Someone around you has gone through a transformation that’s changing the dynamic of a group. I heard “undercurrents” and “hidden,” so I think this isn’t apparent yet. Not everybody knows about whatever this is, but it’s a shift that affects you. This could be you too since this is a group reading, but for most here I think not.

What I picked up is someone coming to terms with an identity or self-expression. I also picked up on power dynamic changes, so this could be someone getting materially blessed and it having a ripple effect. Below in the details, I picked up on a baptism which may be related. There’s literal baptisms, but it could also be someone feeling initiated into a new group, organization, or identity. Regardless, being heavily tied to others has responsibilities and consequences beyond our control. We sacrifice some freedom to share our compassion, ups and downs, the blessings too. Some people and blessings will ONLY be in our lives for a season, and some people are only a certain version of themselves for a season. Make the most of the present because the future is changing & moving, and staying in the past sacrifices what you currently have.

Advice—Abundant Harvest

[Power (Moon in Scorpio, 8th house), Impossible Things, Exaltation (Moon in Taurus, 2nd house)]

Idk what to tell you because the whole reading really, really emphasizes that there’s so much good stuff here to “reap the rewards” of 😭. I know we talked about this all along but it came out again. Idk if you guys are very hesitant to accept good things or make the most of them and maybe this is why it’s being emphasized so much lol. I channeled a food forest that feeds the whole community for free, that may describe this energy for you and your people. Or, may describe your role soon. 

There’s a message about having gone through a profound inner transformation, having “repositioned” yourself in the world. For example, some of you always viewed yourself as a servant and now you’ve shed that? You may still do it, but you’re not only this one thing, and it’s in a way that empowers you. There’s something about relating to the world as yourself in a different, unique way, and this having a huge change on power dynamics. You may not outwardly appear this way, maybe others don't understand, but you’ve empowered yourself greatly somehow, & if not this is a change to embody so you can reap the most of the blessings. I keep wanting to say reap—there’s energy of good things already fruited, especially with this Moon exalted in Taurus. So much security + comfort is laid in your path right now, please tune into the version of yourself that can multiply BUT ALSO enjoy this!

Extra Details: nature as significant in your faith, promotion for someone in a duo/close group, forgiveness, homemaking (recently switched to/out of it because of changes in finances or beliefs), worship of a masculine + feminine deity (or recognizing feminine + masculine qualities in a gendered deity, or yourself), Cave In- Owl City, getting into nature + water, caves/coves, orange, beach towns, hopeful, end of a dark night of the soul, weddings/unions, Christianity, finding someone/ community with similar beliefs, baptisms, moving up in an organization, new clothing or style, shift in power/money in relationship, parable of the sower (the actual parable). Scrying, divining signs, charm casting. Coming out, changes to beliefs about gender expression & roles. Healing the relationship with a specific part of yourself. Going back to school or studying a new topic (astrology) (some of you want to go to a religious university?), legal situation ending (divorce, suing, etc). Dragging out your words. No longer thinking you need someone to survive or complete you, Single Ladies- Beyonce, moving on from toxicity into new partnership or friends. If you were already drawn to pile 1 or 4 they may resonate

ᨒ↟

Pile 4:

Underground

[6 of cups, The Creator (King of Action), the Hanged Man rx]

Hi pile four! The first thing I heard is “sharing is productive, sharing is compassion.” A lot of you have been doing your own thing, developing yourselves or a project behind the scenes. There’s something about your life or inner landscape others are not privy to. Expressing yourself—or sharing this part of yourself where appropriate—will be “productive,” I hear. You can also be an example of whatever it is. Maybe there’s some knowledge, beliefs, or world perspective that could be a positive influence to those around you? You could feel like you have a mission to bring these ideas or something else to your community, but you’re not sure how to start. Showing people who you are through your self-expression, ideals, words, mannerisms, and how you interact with others can be just as impactful as explaining something. Your style may also have an impact if you’ve changed it recently or if it’s different from those around you. It’s important to do all this from a place of compassion for the best impact (I heard “best outcome” & “best product;” some of you are part of a project or group goal where this is relevant?). You are no longer only preaching at people or trying to get end results when you move with compassion & understanding. It also allows you to remain grounded when disagreements occur. Compassion is the point.

Nurturing

[the Fool sideways, I Want to Be a Queen rx, Judgement]:

You may have transformed very quickly or changed some fundamental beliefs, and now I hear you feel you’re on a different “momentum” and “speed” than those who’ve been in your life, especially those who’ve been around for a long time. Maybe you feel you’re outgrowing them. You could have lost interest in a project or relationship you invested in, or could be moving away. There’s conflicted feelings about a new lifestyle at the cost of the things left behind. This could refer to a childhood/past dream you’re unsure about pursuing.

It’s not about picking the “right” thing, it’s about if you’re willing to nurture the energy and accept those consequences. Staying with the past, doing something new, being in the middle—each has its own set of consequences you must face. There’s an emphasis on that with the judgment card next to the Hanged Man rx—whatever you invest your energy + thoughts in, you’ll experience what follows that choice. Some of you feel like you’re hiding from life by not moving forward or postponing something, but that's also a choice.

Old and new are inherently neither good nor bad; what are you willing and able to do to nurture the life you choose? Can you do this with compassion and discernment? Your life is your choice. That decision is only one part of a much larger picture: the life you continuously create (and what you choose to associate with). When you act with wisdom and discernment, you learn more about yourself, what’s really calling for you and not an illusion. You can be honest with yourself, not only about what you want but what is right and good for you. Compassion allows you to create with love (including self love). It reinforces your ability to live honestly, in the moment—and not only do things for results.

Friends

[Two of wands rx, Going with the Flow (ace of emotions), You Are Rare and Free]

I know “friends” is not necessarily nature-based, but it’s what came out. "Going with the flow” talks about allowing yourself to be moved with life instead of fighting against it or staying stagnant. Again, many of you are holding onto something familiar or ignoring something to avoid change. This card talks about detaching from ego-based ideas and expectations. So many of your cards throughout the reading speak of looking back or nostalgia—6 of cups, 2 of wands rx, Hanged Man rx, even the Fool is not fully upright, but yet you have Judgment too. Judgment is a reminder that reckoning comes for everyone and everything; life continues even when we cling. Contemplate what you want and what action this entails. This pile is taking paths of most resistance; something you’re doing or thinking is making things complicated. It seems related to friends or family. Caring about them a lot is making the decision harder, or you might have some kind of investment/entanglement with them. Remember who YOU are and stick with that. You can enjoy and share with other people without it being at the expense of yourself. You aren’t necessarily a people-pleaser, but you may hold yourself to what old versions of you wanted or thought. It’s okay to change, it’s unavoidable. Fighting a change in yourself may feel easier than dealing with the effects, but is it really? You may avoid facing others, but you’ll always have to face yourself.

You might really try to hold onto control (especially for timing) as a substitute for trusting yourself. Decisions and change feel so monumental because you don’t know if you can make it through what comes afterwards. Build trust in yourself and applaud your skills that help you make it through day to day.

Advice—Practices

[Defense (Mars in Taurus, 2nd house), Follow the White Rabbit rx, the Chariot rx, 8 of swords rx]

Set up little actions and routines that will help you make steps towards what's on your mind. Your cards suggest the goal, move, or decision you’re interested in might not see forward movement right now. You might feel like you meet resistance, but this might just be because you need to build a routine, discipline, or set of steps before you can see progress. This period is needed for the discord to clear in your mind. This’ll be a time of mental transformations more than physical ones, but this is the foundation of the tangible changes later. This doesn’t have to all be boring. I keep hearing “reverence;” blending spirituality with your goals will be very helpful. Or, anything that adds fun & peace to productivity. Example, time in nature (being outside at all) can be uplifting as well as brainstorming time.

Extra Details: freelancer, work that doesn’t feel like a job (because you like it or it’s not traditional), thinking about life goals (large/collective ones like helping humanity), supervisor or manager (or similar group leader role), taking responsibility for power and influence you wield with others, fashion scene or niche artistic local community like DJing, culinary, food service, cooking shows, “the time will pass anyway,” choosing between a childhood dream/community and a new one, unsure about medicine or another lucrative field. Walks or solo activities where you can sort your thoughts are very beneficial. Guilt about an ill/injured loved one (wanting to do something where you won’t be able to see them?), divination routine, There's a lot of emphasis on food as a passion or because you need to eat lots of fruits and veggies, tea (dandelion tea?), Kate Bush. If you already felt drawn to pile 1 it may resonate. If you already felt drawn to pile 3, the resourcefulness and faction sections specifically may resonate.

[thrashkink-coven]

Special reminder to all the new Luciferians that forgot that he is the adversary, yeah, he’s gonna fuck with you FOR FUN.

If you’ve been working with Lucifer for a week or so and have started getting “conflicting” messages, you are not alone 😩. Lucifer loves to test us, he loves to see how deep our values go. He will purposely say things you disagree with or it would seem like he would disagree with just to fuck with you. This dude LOVES to debate.

For example, a large part of my relationship with Lucifer involved coming to terms with my neurodivergency. For weeks we were working on accepting my limits, being aware of my disorders and having patience for myself. But during a meditation I got the very strong message from him “People with mental illnesses are just looking for an excuse to be lazy”

and I was like ????? what the fuck???? No they’re not??? You fucking idiot???? Who am I talking to right now???? And he was like “yes and anyone who claims to have a disorder without a diagnosis are just looking for attention. Prove me wrong if you think differently”

and I blew up, providing so many arguments for why he’s wrong and why that stance is so stupid, and eventually after a while he was like “Hm… that’s interesting. I guess you’re right. Now that we’ve established this I guess we won’t need entertain the idea anymore”

and any time after that, when I was having self doubts, maybe I’m just faking it for attention, maybe I’m just lazy, Lucifer has been like “OH! So I guess I WAS right!” and I’ve been like NOOO!!!!!! YOURE WRONG!!! THE ENTIRE IDEA IS STUPID AND I WONT LET YOU TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

and Lucifer will then be like “Oh, good then. Don’t let you tell you otherwise either”.

He will press your boundaries, even if only to make sure YOU know where your boundaries are. When writing a spell together Lucifer has been like “yes, we will also need to sacrifice a cat”

and I’ve been like “wtf no we’re not sacrificing a cat why the hell would I do that”

and he’s responded “Because I said so. You will obey my order without question.” (again, extremely out of character, this is a test’!)

until I finally put my foot down and say “I don’t care who or what you are, doing this goes against my core values and I will not abandon those for you or anyone. With all due respect I refuse to do this task”

and Lucifer will be like “I’m just fucking with you, I really liked the way you stood your ground against me though, that was very hot”

and for even less obvious things, Lucifer will test you. He wants to know why you think the things you think. We recently had a very long conversation about the concept of Pedophilia. Super uncomfortable, a conversation I didn’t know we’d ever have, but it was important. He starts by asking me if pedophilia is wrong. Um what??? Obviously???

“Why is it wrong? Explain your reasoning.”

Well because it hurts kids.

“What about non offending pedophiles? What about pre offending reformed pedophiles?”

You don’t have to have the answer to those questions, but you must understand that the answers to those questions matter, even though they are incredibly uncomfortable. Are there evil people? Do evil people deserve empathy? What is an evil person? I don’t like thinking about that, that’s the reason why I don’t have an answer. Lucifer will force you to come to that answer.

“How do we conduct a society where we prevent pedophiles from hurting children without creating another form of discrimination? Do you believe pedophiles deserve empathy? Do they deserve to die? How do we deal with murderers and rapists without becoming murderers and rapists ourselves? How do you console yourself with the reality that some people genuinely enjoy evil things? If you were the Emperor of Hell, how would you manage all the most wicked people who have ever lived? Why is incest bad? Why is murder bad? Do racists deserve to die? Do war criminals deserve to die? Who should be allowed to determine who deserves to die? How far does your empathy extend to people who have done horrible things? How does your moral compass navigate these complex scenarios? What is right and what is wrong? Why do you believe the things you believe?”

There will be times when it seems like he’s trying to do everything in his power to just disagree with you. It’ll seem like he’s leading you to argue with him, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. He’ll ask you questions that should seem like common sense. He’s establishing that not only is it okay to disagree with him, but that at times, he will force you to, to ensure that you are not deriving your own personal values from “whatever God tells you”. He will lie to you, just to see if you’re able to identity a lie. He will say things that he obviously doesn’t believe, only to hear why YOU don’t believe it. It’s important to be firm on your boundaries even if your God is pushing them. You should not be afraid to disagree. You should not be afraid to disobey if it is important to you. Lucifer is not a Shepard and you are not a sheep. You need to understand your own morality alone, without God, without a cheat sheet telling you the answers. and you need to be firm on those. To the point that if God Himself told you differently, you wouldn’t budge.

So if you’ve started working with him recently and are confused as to why he suddenly started saying things you disagree with, investigate what he may be trying to get across. You’ll learn a lot more about yourself.

[planet-dusk]

☆ raspberry sour ∘ b.c

after a few too many drinks at your boyfriend's party you decide to sleep it off in his room. inebriated, you take a wrong turn and end up in chan's bed instead. but fear not — he'll take good care of you...

─── ☆ pairing: bang chan x f!reader

─── ☆ length: 1.4k

─── ☆ warnings: noncon, somnophilia (yn passed out drunk), fingering, fantasies of breeding yn, unprotected sex, pet names: babygirl, name calling: slut

─── ☆ note: this is a rewrite of an old fic previously posted on this blog. 18+ minors dni. this work contains noncon, proceed with caution if the above warnings could be triggering to you. the characters don’t represent real idols; this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. fictional smut is not a reflection of real life ! always communicate with your partner and practice consensual and safe sex ‹33

─── ☆ skz masterlist ∘ all masterlists

© planet-dusk do not copy, translate or repost my works anywhere.

You're asleep. In his bed.

Chan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He must’ve had more to drink than he thought. It’s either that or he’s dreaming. 

But when he opens his eyes again you’re still there. You’re on your stomach, one leg stretched out and the other bent at the knee. Your head rests on your arms and the only visible movement is the slow rise and fall of your breathing. 

You look so peaceful. So pretty. 

Chan steps into his room and closes the door behind him. He doesn’t know why he locks it. Out of habit, perhaps. 

But something tells him the real reason. You. He pushes the thought away, deep down to the pit of his stomach, far from the unraveling edges of his conscience. 

The party is still going strong downstairs; he can hear the bass and the cheers from his friends. And while he didn’t have nearly as much to drink as you, Chan feels the titillating buzz of alcohol in his veins. It makes him bolder than usual. 

The right thing to do would be to leave and tell Minho you’ve wandered into the wrong room. Let your boyfriend carry you back to his own bed. 

But even before he steps closer Chan knows he’s already made up his mind. He’s not going to do the right thing. Not tonight. Not when you look so beautiful, spread out on his bed like a present. Like it’s his birthday. 

You’re stunning. He was already painfully aware even though he’s only seen you a handful of times when his roommate had you over. Never long enough to take a good look. Not without it feeling inappropriate. 

As if this is appropriate…but a quick look won’t hurt anyone, Chan thinks. And if the sounds you’re making when you’re with Minho are anything to go by, you’ve never seemed to mind an audience. Surely you know the walls are paper thin. Chan’s lost count of the amount of times he’s cummed to your moans and whimpers filling the apartment. 

He walks around the bed and takes in your features. Your makeup smudged a bit and your skirt has hiked up, barely covering the swell of your ass. 

You’re wearing pink lace panties. The same color as the drinks you’ve been drinking all night. Besides black, it’s his favorite color. 

His cock swells in his pants. 

Fuck. 

If only he could…

Chan palms himself over his jeans. He shouldn’t be looking at you like this. Shouldn’t be thinking about touching his roommate’s girlfriend. But his other hand reaches out before he can stop himself; fingers pressing against the pink fabric, right where your hole should be. 

What happened to just one quick look? Any semblance of self-control is slipping away from him. All he needs now is one touch. You would let him have this, wouldn’t you? You’ve always seemed like such a good girl. He knows you are. 

And he can be good for you, too. Make you feel good. 

He’s not sure if he’s imagining the throbbing of your pussy through the fabric but it turns him on even more. He traces the outline of your hole and trails his fingers down to massage your clit. With slow rubs of his index as not to rouse you, Chan’s surprised to find the material quickly dampening under his touch. 

When he applies a bit more pressure you stir and he freezes, panic flooding him at the thought of getting caught. Your eyelashes flutter and you spread your legs wider before stilling again. 

Chan curses under his breath. His heart pounds in his ears as realization hits him. His cock is painfully hard now, neglected in his pants. The wet patch on your panties is growing and Chan can’t hold back any longer. He needs to see your pretty cunt. 

He pulls the gusset aside, gulping at the sight of your soaked folds. He runs his fingers through them to wet them, plays with your clit, noticing the way your breathing quickens a little. 

“You like that, babygirl?” He whispers, barely audible. “Want some more?”

You let out a soft whimper when two fingers breach you, finding no resistance. Your slick drips over his hand and down his wrist. He toys with you for a while, obsessed with the way your greedy hole swallows his fingers. 

It’s addicting. And he needs more. He needs to feel your snug walls around him. He’s already fucking you with his fingers, what difference would his cock make now? 

Chan brings his hand up to his lips. You even taste delicious. So fucking sweet. He wishes he could bury his face between your cheeks and eat you out for hours. Suckle on your clit and bite your thighs until you’re begging him to stop. 

But he doesn’t have time, so he shoves his jeans down his legs and frees his thick cock. He drags it through your slit to wet it, circling your hole before pushing inside. You whimper again and he stills, brows knitted in worry. He doesn’t want to hurt you. Didn’t he prep you enough? You’re dripping and took his fingers so well —

Then you whine again, canting your hips a little as if to urge him on. 

Chan’s worry dissipates and he chuckles. Even while asleep your body reacts to him. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; he knew you’re a bratty little slut. He’s heard the tell-tale sounds of a good spanking mixed with your loud whimpering more than once. 

Now it’s his turn to feel your warm, wet cunt and Chan can’t believe his luck. He’s sure Minho would want you to feel good too. A pretty girl like you deserves to get fucked every day. 

He bites his lip to stop himself from moaning and starts moving with slow strokes. Your pretty little hole stretches around his cock so well. He can’t get enough of the sight, pulling out completely and watching you clench around nothing. 

He hasn’t even fucked you properly and your body already wants more. 

Chan feels so dirty about taking you like this. It’s wrong and it makes him so fucking hard. He hates how much he enjoys it. Even though he wishes he could fuck you while awake there’s something about using you like this that sends a rush of adrenaline through him unlike anything he’s ever felt before. 

He settles for a slow grind and his fingers find their way back to your clit. He supposes it doesn’t matter if you cum or not (even though he hopes this feels good for you, too) but your hole tensing around his cock whenever he touches the sensitive bud makes him lightheaded. 

You feel so fucking good. As if your body was made for him.

It takes all his strength to stay quiet and his thrusts are getting sloppier now. His fingers press into your hips and your heavy eyelids blink open slowly. Your eyes are glassy, staring into the distance.

“Minnie,” you slur, “s’good.” 

Chan doesn’t reply, tightening his grip instead so he can bury himself deeper between your walls. Your cunt clenches around him and you moan softly, drifting in and out of consciousness.

If you were to tilt your head back you’d see him. How would you react when you realize it isn’t your boyfriend who’s making you feel this good? Would you scream? Would you try to push him away? Or would you whimper and moan louder? 

The last possibility makes his cock twitch. His balls tighten and he pulls out just in time to jerk himself to completion. Chan’s smart enough to not cum inside (the cleanup would be a pain) even though he wishes he could…

He wants to fill you up. Mark you and breed you until his seed leaks out of your spent hole. Instead he spills all over your bare thighs, thick white ropes painting your skin. 

Gently, he wipes you clean with one of his old shirts. He tucks his softening cock away, puts your panties back in place and pulls your skirt down. 

Other than your smudged makeup you look presentable. Your breathing is steady and even as if nothing happened. 

Chan brushes a strand of hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ear. Your plush lips are parted slightly and there’s some drool on his pillow. How cute you are... His own lips curve into a smile and he kisses your temple.

Next time he’ll try your pretty mouth.

[autistic-robin]

Why “Hiding in the Light” Didn’t Work: Stranger Things’ Psychospiritual Implications

Supplementary Sources: Jungian Theory & A Wrinkle In Time

Alright, buckle in. I’m running on a year’s worth of spiritual awakening, deep dives into Jungian theory and non-dualism, and my own ego’s primary coping mechanism: immersing myself in media as escapism. The purpose of this analysis is to break down the themes of non-dualism and light/darkness in ST (and maybe predict some character arcs), and also to position the narrative of ST as a psychospiritual wake-up call.

For some context: last year, I discovered the work of psychoanalyst (or philosopher, depending on who you’re talking to) Carl Jung. He had a pretty extensive theory about the human psyche that I immediately connected to the themes throughout Stranger Things, specifically Vecna’s mind control and curse. I’m going to break Jung’s theory down as succinctly as I can, and then delve into how it plays out in our favorite gay monster show.

But before I delve into Jung’s ideas, I also think it’s important to define selfhood (you’ll understand why in a minute). For the purposes of this analysis, the experience of the “self” is an illusion created by our senses, perceptions, memories, and consciousness, all of which are impermanent. Therefore, the self is what we call “conditioned.” There is no you or me, just the ideas we have of ourselves.

Now, we can get into Jung’s theory. He posited the following:

1. Every individual has a “persona” they show the world (a constructed self) to feel like they belong. Underneath this persona, everyone has a personal “shadow,” or the part of themselves they don’t want to acknowledge. This shadow is always projected onto others— every negative thought we have about someone else is a product of our own unintegrated shadow. Note: The shadow is NOT bad, it just “is.” It’s actually there to HELP us grow and integrate all the unhealed parts of us.

2. Individuals’ shadows are usually part of their unconscious, meaning most people are not aware of their shadow side or cannot bear to delve into their trauma/darkness and begin to heal it.

3. All of human consciousness is CONNECTED. This means two things. 1: There is a “collective unconsciousness” that contains the sum of all of our unintegrated trauma, and 2: We can heal our collective unconsciousness by healing our own unconsciousness.

How do we heal our own unconsciousness? By becoming AWARE of our shadow side, accepting and forgiving the conditioning that created it, and working to encourage others to do the same.

What— or rather, who— does that remind you of?

Also— great use of lighting here.

We know Vecna has direct access to his victims’ consciousness; not just their memories, cognition, and emotions, but also their awareness itself. This is how he’s able to target and trance people. But it’s not just their consciousness Vecna has access to; it’s their unconsciousness. Their shadow. Their trauma. Yes, he has psionic abilities akin to El’s, but as far as we know, El can’t access the collective unconsciousness like Vecna can. She is only capable of “remote viewing” via the void or piggybacking into people’s minds. So why is Vecna capable of this?

If you want my take on it: the only way to access a collective shadow would be through accessing your own shadow. So is Vecna really Henry, or his unintegrated shadow? And is either really condemnable, considering the larger themes of the show?

We see this theme of non-dualism echoed in Brenner’s NINA pep talk with El:

It’s fascinating to me that they’re communicating these bigger thematic ideas through the show’s “villians”— while the above conversation could be taken at surface-level as Brenner being manipulative, it’s important to acknowledge the truth of what he’s saying. NINA is only successful because El faces “the good and the bad.” This is why “hiding in the light” is a no-go for Max.

Focusing only on happy memories is a form of emotional bypassing. Throughout the show, we’ve been told time and again that hiding doesn’t work. Neither does running away. The only way out for our characters is through their own shadows.

Now, the fun part: predictions. Looking at all of this with a Jungian lens, it doesn’t make much sense to villianize a character or to end the story by “defeating evil.” In non-dual theory, there are no evil people, only unhealed ones.

We know what worked for our characters temporarily (Will in the UD, Max in her first trance, El using her powers against Vecna) was the memory and vibration of love.

This reminded me of A Wrinkle In Time, which is a science fiction novel that’s been noted more than a few times as one of Stranger Things’ primary influences. In the book, a girl and her brother travel through time to rescue their father from an alternate dimension where all beings are controlled in a hyper-individualist suburbia by a giant, all-knowing brain. The climactic “defeat” of the brain is shockingly simple, but incredible impactful— Meg, the heroine, tells it over and over that she loves it. This love ultimately brings her father and brother out of trances they are in, and they’re able to remember her and travel back home.

(Tangent: And God. The implications of that, outside of analyzing ST, are powerful. How do we live in a capitalist hellscape that is so caught up in the mind— in acheiving, obtaining, securing, protecting the ego— that many of us have forgotten our hearts? The answer is love. Loving ourselves more deeply to love all beings more deeply, “the good and the bad.” But love does not negate accountability, and it does not excuse harm.)

Our characters are all struggling with self-acceptance and self-love in some form or another. Each is wrestling with secrets and lies, and the desire to hide parts of themselves they think others can’t accept.

Mike is clearly struggling with self-loathing, guilt surrounding what happened to El in s1, and a crippling hero complex.

Will is also on the self-loathing train, continually self-sacrifices to his own detriment, and is hiding his identity out of fear (not at all villifying that, just for the record.)

El struggled to reconcile her abilities and forced weaponization with her identity outside of the lab pre-s4.

Max was suicidal and had a lot of self-hatred after B*lly’s death.

Nancy parallels Mike in her survivor’s guilt post-s1 and exhibits the same lack of self-preservation and self-sacrificing tendencies.

You get my point. So how will these characters overcome their trauma? Not through hiding, or running, or bypassing. Not through the light alone. Through love— acknowledgement of their own darkness, compassion for the unhealed nature of others, and commitment to being honest with themselves and their loved ones. We know Will is El and Henry’s mirror/foil and will play a central role in S5, and with all of this in mind I think it’s safe to say he will break the cycle of bypassing and hiding from trauma and pain once and for all. He won’t fight it like El, hide from it like Max, or run from it like he did as a kid.

Only by integrating their shadows can our characters become truly “themselves,” or as Brenner puts it, “whole.”

I will probably have much more to say about this after my re-read of A Wrinkle in Time, but for now, that’s all I’ve got. :) Hope everyone is doing well!

[merakiui]

putting some skully ideas here so i can get him out of my brain!!!!

✧ skully x classical literature professor, who he drugs and kidnaps because he knows in his heart you understand him and appreciate the classics in the same way he does.

✧ making a wrong turn that leaves you stranded in an unfamiliar, mist-shrouded town at the craggy foothills. your car has suspiciously garnered a flat (slashed) tire… hopefully the townsfolk are kind enough to help.

✧ morbid dollification. skully falls in love with the corpse he’s dug up from a grave, thinking you to be his fated sweetheart. as your body rots, he fixes it up, replacing your insides with soft cotton, stitching sagging limbs, hollowing out your eyes to place two pretty marbles. your body parts are kept preserved in jars and he arranges them on a shelf that makes up a shrine dedicated to you. everyone else will call him crazy, but this is what love is.

✧ ghostface skully……… horror trivia,,, tnbc trivia over the phone… “what’s your favorite scary movie?”

✧ cult skully. small town that celebrates and honors samhain and its traditions and here you are, an outsider with outlandish ideas that do not match with theirs at all. no matter. skully will show you what real halloween is. :)

✧ pumpkin farmer skully!!! :D you visit in need of a few pumpkins for last minute halloween party preparations, unaware that these pumpkins are actually people. walking through the pumpkin patch and tripping over a thick vine, which was actually a poorly buried femur, but you’re too busy following skully to look back.

✧ i once saw a brilliant fanart of skully in a straitjacket….. you’re the nurse to this patient, who has been admitted on criminal insanity. and oh is he a unique case. (serial killer skully…)

✧ skully kidnapping idol darling after he finds out you’ve been in a secret relationship this entire time and aren’t the pure darling he thought you were.

✧ grim reaper skully.

✧ skully turning you into a pumpkin and keeping you on his shelf. kissing it every chance he gets, sometimes even lifting it up and twirling around his room with it. it really is a shame. :( he was hoping you’d understand his feelings, but you tried to run away and he just couldn’t have that. you can stay a pumpkin for now. after all, pumpkins can’t speak or flee.

✧ the best time to commit a crime is on halloween, or so skully thinks. no one will bat an eye if he’s dressed like a killer because it’s just a harmless costume. and no one will know what happened to you when you accepted that delicious apple cider from him.

✧ the horror of being kept in complete darkness and isolation (for conditioning purposes), chained and dressed in clothes chosen by skully, sleeping on a dingy mattress, only ever knowing him. at first, you associate his presence with fear and disgust. you hate him, his voice, his cold fingertips, his warm lips, his entire existence. but he’s the only company you have here. inevitably, with a brain so muddled and broken you’d think he’d lobotomized you, you’ll come to associate skully with comfort. you’re relieved he’s come to banish the shadows with his bright, gentle presence, enveloping you in a suffocating hug and kissing all over your face, cooing about how much he missed you and how he adores you so very dearly. and, rather than jerk away in fear, you reciprocate. what other choice do you have?

✧ self-aware skully in a halloween-themed otome. <3 why would you want to fall in love with mad scientist azul? or ghost butler jade? or that riddle, who is always in mourning? why look at any of those choices when you have him, the character who was only meant to be a side character and not a love interest!! but he knows you’ll understand. you’ll have to when he’s the only choice.

[isalisewrites]

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Reflective Interlude

Hello and welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes in the Harry Potter series. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Part Two Link.

However…

Hiya! *waves* I’m Isa, the author of this… Actually, I dunno what to call this series anymore. Anyway, thus far, you’ve heard a very satirical tone from me in the previous two posts, but that’s not my normal tone. I’m a rather laid back kind of gal with a side of sarcasm and deluge of emoji usage.

I have used quite a confident, even bombastically obnoxious tone in the effort to be entertaining and engaging with these posts. It was meant to be playful and sarcastic. It’s the internet, so I’m aware everyone’s attention is… kind of like a commodity, unfortunately. Look at TikTok or YouTube. How long does a 30s video hold your attention before you’re scrolling to the next? It depends for me, I’ll admit. People don’t have the attention span for long style posts such as these and that’s fair. Sometimes, I don’t either.

Thus, I used repeated ‘catch phases’ to maintain a rhythm and a thematic style through the series with a controversial title meant to hook a reader. I repeat the opening, even in this post. I repeat ‘Class is in session’ to show the beginning of the major section of the post.

However, in this interlude, I’ve toned it all down because I wanted to give you a window into my heart, my purpose, and my intent in this series. It is a reflective post that ends with writing motivation to you, my dear reader, as well as links to writerly resources. 

I’ve had a lot to think about this week and I realized that many writers (and other creatives) have to battle against an enemy found within themselves. This enemy often torments many with cruel, destructive thoughts; they burrow their way into so many writers’ minds. It whispers: “Can you really do this? Are you really sure you’re any good? Aren’t you just fooling yourself? They’re going to find out you’re just a fraud. So… why bother?”

Whose voice is that?

Let’s talk about the destroyer of creation, Imposter Syndrome, why I refuse to let the bastard infect me anymore, and why my confident tone in previous posts has grated nerves.

Remember: take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

(This means I write my posts with the honest acceptance and expectation that not everything will fit with your style, your vibes, or your personality. That’s okay.)

All right, let’s buckle up, my dear writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Let’s begin. And yes…

Class is in session on this little Tumblr post… should you wish to attend.

Having confidence or pride in one’s work seems to be taboo. Any brief moment in time where I tried to be proud about my writing or say, Hey, I’m a good writer, I was always told to be humble. “Don’t be prideful. Be humble.” It would often chip away at my self esteem. I could be a good writer, but I couldn’t allow myself to feel like a good writer.

But no more.

I have only given myself permission to be confident about my writing within the past month. This is why I started this series in the first place. I wanted to share knowledge and in an entertaining way. I make a bold claim that I’m a better writer than JKR; I analyze her writing to both improve my own understanding and to help others as well.

However, this does not mean I’ve ever been under the delusion I’m perfect. Absolutely not. God, that’s so fucking laughable! I am not perfect. I am not a perfect writer. I definitely don’t know everything. Someone once corrected me, informing me that snakes are venomous, not poisonous. Bless them, wasn’t aware of that. Immediately fixed that. One of the recent reblogs said geodes do not contain emeralds. God bless, I didn’t know that, though in the case of how it was used in TBG, I won’t be changing it since it’s within a character thought.

Sorry, Tom. I guess you need to take a geology class, too.

Ugh, and I have so many godforsaken typos. My soul withers when I catch a typo after I’ve posted a chapter. I miss things all the time. I repeat things because ‘that’s my thing’ and I don’t always catch them in my edits. I forget things all the time. Thank GOD for Dede, someone who loved TBG so much she spent countless hours archiving data from it, where she caught a number of inconsistencies and alerted me to them. I still haven’t been able to fix them yet, but I’m so grateful to her. I’ve noted them all down. Harry’s height often is incorrectly implied to be taller than it should be because my brain isn’t wired for imagery. My brain forgets TBG Harry is a short king at 5’4” while TBG Tom is 6’2” and I need to go back to fix all of those. 

I am not a perfect writer and I don’t claim to be.

My goals with this series are to study/learn for myself, teach/share knowledge with others, and learn some more from this experience. I love this kind of analysis. But there’s difference between my analysis of JKR’s writing and a number of those who have retaliated with an analysis of my writing. 

Instead of looking at my imperfections with the desire to learn from them, they were illuminated in the attempt to ‘take me down a notch.’ To those who put in the effort to make counterpoints, I do thank you for your contribution to this series. It is appreciated, even when given impolitely and with the intent to ‘put me in my place.’

Despite all of my errors and imperfections, I still stand by my statement: I am a better writer than J.K. Rowling.

Do you know who else is a better writer than her? I could list thousands of them. They’re fanfiction writers. They’re indie authors. They’re other traditional published authors. They are so many other writers that, yes, I do think are stronger writers than JKR. 

And you’re a better writer, too, so long as you wish it.

I sincerely want you to believe that.

Why? Because it’s clear within the Harry Potter series that JKR did not make attempts to grow as a writer. She just wrote. Perhaps she was under deadlines, but the lack of editing is pretty apparent to me. When you write a lot, you will inevitably get more skilled over time, but you have to actively be seeking improvement to see drastic change in your own skill. It is this lack of drive that I see within her work. She’s not making attempts to push the boundaries of her abilities and skills with each new book.

I’m not at the end of my journey of learning. I never will be. I love expanding my skills. I’m even learning during the process of writing these posts, too. I’m seeing more weaknesses in my own work and I’m now thinking on ways to strengthen my writing even further.

That’s the point of this series.

In the end, it’s not really about me. No, really, it’s not about me. I truly think it’s about the jealousy of seeing another writer be confident in their work. You see, I’m not supposed to be confident; I’m not supposed to act like I can help and teach others to write. How dare I. Posting anything about my work is an act of attention seeking. I’m supposed to be ‘humble.’ I’m supposed to be silent. I’m supposed to wave a shy, dismissive hand at compliments.

Why?

Why is being proud of one’s work and loving one’s own work such a controversial idea?

Imposter Syndrome often cripples creators. There’s already so much self doubt and anxiety in the world, but Imposter Syndrome can really wreck with a creator’s mind. It’s a poison. It stops you from creating what you love most. When you believe you aren’t good enough, then it becomes harder to try. Your belief becomes truth to you, whether or not it was true in reality in the first place. Perhaps, you sink into depression. You become anxious about sharing anything, for fear anyone might say even the slightest negative comment. The heart becomes fragile and brittle, and the muscle which builds skill atrophies over time. You see your work through a lens of self hate. You can only see flaws.

“I will never be good enough.”

When you’re in this state of mind, it’s hard to see the truth about your work.

But let me promise you something: your writing is far more beautiful than you realize.

In spirit, all creative writing is perfect to me with all of its typos and mistakes (yes, even all of the Harry Potter books!), but no single work is objectively perfect. There will always be room to improve your creation because you’re constantly growing. It’s why so many aspiring novelists fall into an endless cycle of editing their first few chapters. The more they write, the more they improve; thus, when they go back to their earlier chapters, they get stuck trying to update those chapters instead of pushing forward to the finish line.

Your work is valuable, no matter what. It’s beautiful. You’re allowed to love your work. You’re allowed to see the good in it and you’re allowed to have confidence in yourself. You’re allowed to say to yourself and to others, I’m a damn good writer.

You deserve to have love, for yourself and for your art.

I have often sincerely complimented other writers and, many times, after they respond with their thanks, it becomes clear to me they’re not confident in their work, yet they have still bravely shared it with us.

I’m so proud of them. Thank you for your bravery.

My heart breaks for them, too. They’re such good writers—such damn good writers. And I wish they knew and believed this.

I will always do everything in my power to encourage others.

How do you feel about your writing? Do you like your writing? You should. You really should because it is good. You created it, after all. There will always be space to grow and refine your craft, of course, but you are a good writer now. You’re going to be a better writer tomorrow and the next day, so long as you desire this growth in yourself. There’s no destination, though. There’s no magic level you have to reach before you’re allowed to have some confidence in yourself and your abilities. The only trap to avoid is remaining stagnant. Writing is a skill. Writing is a craft. This means it gets better through study and practice.

You can achieve that.

I know it’s hard, though. There are so many naysayers in life. There are so many people waiting to attack and bring others down, both on the internet and in our own families. How many precious fanfics have been lost because a writer received horrible, hateful comments? How many writers have disappeared from the internet because of this cruelty? We have lost many in all fandoms. That is unacceptable to me.

Uplift others. Spread love, not hate.

You’re allowed to be proud about your work, imperfect as it may be. Please, I beg you, don’t let the negative voices of others—including your own!—drag you down and steal the joy of creating. I know it’s so very, very hard to stand strong against such voices. Words have power, but you have more. Resist the naysayers.

What you have to offer the world is precious. Please lift your head and acknowledge that what you create is good. It’s great. It’s amazing. It’s fucking fantastic. You’re not an imposter nor a fraud. No one can offer what you can to the world. No one can write the stories you have in your head the way you can. Your style is unique to you. You’re allowed to love it as it is now and you’re allowed to love it whatever form it takes in the future.

Imposter Syndrome is a thief; toss it into jail and throw away the key.

My writing is not perfect and it never will be, but I’m a better writer today than I was ten years ago. I’m a seeker of my own growth. I’m often reading books on writing and watching YouTube videos on writing. I absorb it all because writing is my truest love and passion. My style has evolved from reading endless amount of novels and fanfics. I devour both. 

But I wasted a decade thinking I didn’t have what it takes.

And life is short. I can’t waste anymore time.

Don’t be like past Isa, please.

There’s a difference in refinement between an episodic fanfic posted over the course of years and a traditional novel published in whole, but I still stand by my work. I recognize my style will not be enjoyed by all those who read it. It’s okay if you don’t like my style. I’m eternally grateful for the many readers who do love my writing. I’m humbled and honored by the sheer volume of people who have commented, bookmarked, and have left kudos on my work. Thank you.

My style has evolved into what it is today due to a combination of two things.

I have ADHD. It’s why my style uses smaller paragraphs as a whole.

I have aphantasia. I lack a mind that can visualize pictures. I literally cannot see anything in my mind. When people say, “I can picture it in my mind,” that’s not me. I cannot at all. When there’s a lack of description in prose, it feels blank and empty to me. This is why I use vivid descriptions in the way I do because otherwise I feel nothing from my work.

It’s okay if this style doesn’t work for you. I love my style because it caters to what I need. I also love other styles that don’t use as much description; however, I can’t always follow what’s happening because of the wiring of my brain. I can get lost sometimes, but I still appreciate their style because I can’t effectively do what they can.

If you find no value in my style and what I offer in this series here, then that’s okay. I’m not offended. This series is for those who benefit from it. For you, there are so many other writers out there from whom you can learn and I’m more than happy to send you in the direction that benefits you the most.

Here’s a list of YouTubers you might find interesting.

ShaelinWrites has been working on many unpublished projects through the years and has lots of great discussion videos on writing.

Abbie Emmons is a self published author with solid writing advice in all of her videos. 

Alexa Donne is a traditionally published author with great insider information into the traditional publishing world. 

Ellen Brock is a professional editor. She knows her stuff.

I hesitantly suggest Jenna Moreci and her content on YouTube because I think she has some major weaknesses in her writing. Many others have seen this about her books. However, she is a successful indie author and her YouTube content has a lot of value.

Brandon Sanderson has an entire college course in a playlist on his channel. It’s a fabulous free resource if you vibe with his style of writing. Highly recommend. 

Here’s a list of writing books I recommend.

Elements of Fiction Writing, a five book series. My TOP recommendation is Elements of Fiction Writing - Beginnings, Middles & Ends.

Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wicked Good Prose

Let the Crazy Child Write!: Finding Your Creative Writing Voice

Novelist's Essential Guide to Crafting Scenes

All right then.

Thank you for sticking around. I hope you accept this post in the good faith it was given and was always given in the previous posts. Next post, I’ll be returning to my playful satirical tone. Hehe~!

Please do the world the greatest of favors and write. Create. Share your fanfiction. Become best selling authors, traditional or indie. I promise you’re far more capable and skilled than you realize.

Until next time.

Isa

[ilykaveh]

you're too good to be true ღ 彡 !

★ — what are the genshin guys' favourite positions?

★ — starring : itto , kazuha , albedo , kaeya .

★ — contains : gn afab reader / individual warnings on each section . minors dni.

༉‧₊˚. ARATAKI ITTO

cws : praise, pussydrunk itto, dumbfucking, getting caught.

it’s no lie that itto is massive. his cock will be struggle to take every single time, and you’ll be reduced to nothing but dumb little babbles when he’s through with you. typically he’ll lay you back against the pillows and prep you, often making you cum on his tongue and fingers a couple of times in order to keep you relaxed. itto might not be the most ingenious man in inazuma, but he was a quick learner when it came to your body and precisely how much you could take.

his favourite position is without a doubt the full nelson. he adores folding you in half as you lay on his broad chest, holding your legs back with his extraordinary strength. itto will coax you into it so gently, promising to take the very best care of his darling, yet as soon as the tip of his thick length is dipping into your warm hole, he’s harnessing every single ounce of his self control in order to prevent him from going feral and fucking your cunt like it was nothing more than a fleshlight.

that being said, itto is most certainly aware that he has the power to break you. he works you up slowly, always praising you as he grows more and more drunk on your pussy. the oni growls into your ear as he thrusts up into you, loudly enough that anybody within a short vicinity of the room will hear. (one time one of the gang members made the mistake of coming in to check on their boss, and they were greeted by the sight of your legs pulled back and cunt fully exposed while the boss continued to fuck you just as viciously as he had when the two of you were alone.)

༉‧₊˚. KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

cw : oral , pussydrunk kazuha.

kazuha is a sweetheart. he gets off on making you feel good, though he certainly isn’t one to deny the feeling of your plump lips wrapped around his shaft. this is why his favourite intimate moments with you are when your both in the 69 position. he truly lives up to his vocation as a poet with the way that his tongue works wonders, beginning with slow, teasing licks to your inner thighs before finally reaching your cunt. every movement with him is purposeful, as the man knows exactly how to get you trembling under his touch (because of this, he’ll usually lay you down on the bed and hover over the top of you).

to be honest, kazuha doesn’t really care that much about whether or not you’re sucking him off. he’s content focusing on eating you out more than anything, though you’ve discovered that if you start lapping up the glistening beads of precum from the tip of his cock, he’ll softly moan into your pussy. the vibrations are absolutely heavenly.

kazuha takes his time with you, kitten licking your clit gently, placing the tiniest of kisses to the swollen bud before truly going for it. your begging amused him, though he won’t tease you to the point that those frustrated tears start welling in your eyes. he’ll spread your labia apart with one hand to give him the best access as his tongue slips into your drooling cunt, eager to taste your sweet essence all over his mouth.

༉‧₊˚. ALBEDO KREIDEPRINZ

cws : none .

albedo might be your textbook experimentalist in the bedroom, but the one thing he really enjoys is seeing your face and etching each expression into his memory. that’s why missionary is his favourite position through and through - he loves watching your face contort in that lustful concoction of pain and pleasure when he first pushes his cock into you.

one thing that the alchemist will do every time without fail is put a pillow under your hips. he finds that it first of all gives a better angle when he inserts his middle and ring finger into your pussy, tenderly stretching you open in preparation to take him. the trick came from a drunken kaeya who was babbling on about his recent sexual endeavours, and told his friend that not only can putting something under his lover’s back should make it easier for him to reach deeper inside of you, but also make things feel more intense for them. the cavalry captain had even gone as far as to show albedo some of the scratches left on his upper arms that had been left on his tanned skin a few nights prior.

now, albedo couldn’t live without it. he had grown obsessed with mentally noting how your body responded to different speeds and angles. he would always slide his hand in between your entangled forms, locating your clit and pushing you even closer to the edge. the man felt his heart swell as he remembered that he was the one making you feel so good.

every once in a while you’d fall asleep rather quickly after sex, and albedo would take the opportunity to pull out a pencil and a small notebook that he kept hidden in his bedside table and would sketch a couple of rough images of your face while he fucked you - it was his dirty secret.

furthermore, another reasons that albedo adores this position is because of how your walls never failed to flutter around him a little bit more every time you heard his whimpers and groans. he’s not exactly the loudest in the bedroom, but being in such close proximity to you meant that you could hear every little noise that escaped that starred throat of his.

༉‧₊˚. KAEYA ALBERICH

cws : spanking , mention of brat taming , praise / degradation , public sex .

though he’s in love with all of you, one thing that kaeya treasures is your ass. no matter the size, he adores watching it as you struggle to sink down on his long cock. that’s why doggy style is his favourite position.

the man is absolutely transfixed on your ass as it jiggles in response to his thrusts, and will even shift his speed in order to suit his fancy. if you’re being bratty or find it amusing to talk back to him, kaeya won’t hesitate to spank your ass a couple of times. hell, he’s so in love with it that every now and then he’ll make up minor infractions that could possibly count as you disobeying him just so that he can slap it a few times.

one thing that makes this position extra appealing to kaeya is the fact that at any moment, he can lean down and whisper in your ear. he’s a big fan of mixing praise and degradation together, so he won’t hesitate to bend down and ghost his lips over the shell of your ear, telling you how wonderfully your slutty hole sucked him in and how filthy you were for clenching around him whenever he spanked you.

kaeya gets hard pretty easily, so when you began to make it a habit of stopping by his office during the day for a spontaneous visit, it slowly started turning into him bending you over his desk and taking you from behind. it doesn’t come close to how badly he could ruin you when you were in the privacy of your own room, but regardless, you had to walk out of the knight’s headquarters with kaeya’s cum dribbling out of your cunt.

[nayatarot777]

what about you is a threat to other people? why do people try to tear you down?

• pile one •

cards: 9 of pentacles, strength, the fool

your self esteem and self confidence has people THREATENED, pile one. well and thoroughly intimidated. you guys seem to hold a lot of self value and self control. you live your life according to your own set of morals and standards and you ensure to prioritise these things. you’re someone who’s able to control your ego extremely well because you have a lot of trust in yourself, your own decisions, and your own opinions about situations. there’s an energy of moving through life with fearlessness. you have a strong sense of loyalty to yourself and to your self improvement, so you don’t let yourself stray away from new paths in life if you feel called to do so - regardless of what others may think about your decisions. you’re viewed as someone just doing your own thing and building your own life. you seem to be content and you seem like you’re living life in the way that you want to. there’s also an energy of constant maturity - if people were to not see you for a year, meeting you again would be meeting a much more developed person than before. any petty or immature behaviours or mindsets are constantly assessed and transmuted by you. the immature things that people would be able to hold against you are things that they can’t hold against you a couple of months afterwards, because you would have already come to terms with any immature behaviour. you’re extremely self aware which is where this ability to successfully tame your ego comes from.

cards: the tower, 8 of wands, the empress

people will try to tear down your self esteem by blindsiding you out of nowhere with behaviour that’s clearly devaluing to you. it’s like they’re trying to change the amount of value that you see in yourself by devaluing you randomly. it seems like you’re someone who doesn’t put that much emphasis on many other people anyway, so this probably doesn’t hurt you as much as these people intended it to. and you still seem to sit tall on whatever figurative throne that these people themselves have put you on. there’s a lot of your divine feminine energy that’s attacked when people try to tear you down. you may also experience people attacking you under the guise of being someone loving or caring towards you. but your intuition seems to be extremely strong, leading you to recognise the intimidation that these people feel from you. so it’s almost like you put up the necessary boundaries to make these people’s negative energy backfire on them. they always end up in rubbles from their own jealousy/envy while you’ve managed to stay protected.

if you’d like a private reading, please read my pinned post 💞

• pile two •

cards: ace of pentacles, 5 of wands, the hanged man, 3 of wands

what’s threatening about you is that you know how to see past the bs. you know how to go within and tune into your intuition to see whatever it is that you need to see. and if you don’t like what you see, you move on. this ability to pause, to be by yourself, and to listen only to your own intuition is what allows you to be grounded and build stability in your life and connections with others. it also seems like people don’t want to argue with you at all either 😂 you often use logic and practicality in the points that you make, meaning that you’re always a few steps ahead of others. this intimidates them. you might also have uncommon or unusual opinions that make a lot more sense than typical opinions on certain topics. you’re someone who takes an unconventional path in many areas of your life, finding success with those paths and finding a lot of blessings and value in them. you might even make money in an uncommon way. i heard “no competition” in relation to that so whatever you do, you’re extremely good at. this might even be part of your main life path, and blessings arrive when you follow this purpose that you’ve found for yourself. people who are intimidated by you are intimidated by how you seem so sure of where you’re heading and what life will look like for you in the future - even if you feel the complete opposite. you just seem enlightened about life and your own life purpose, so you stick to it - despite the conflict that other people may bring to you about this. you actually experience the most conflict when you’re taking steps towards your life purpose/destiny (check your natal chart for your north node placement and research what this means for you). whenever you step into that energy, people who are intimidated by you will try to cause issues to stray you off that path. but you have a great intuition, and i feel like you already know how these people feel about your level ups.

cards: the empress, the stars, page of swords

the empress came out in pile one, in the same section of their reading. the way that people tear you down is by attacking your divine feminine energy. but it seems like with you, people may attack your physical appearance. knit picking at both your looks and achievements. i just heard that some people might also treat you like you’re being suspicious - asking invasive questions. people might get reckless in general with what they start saying to you, because you seem so perfect to these people. and it’s like they’re digging for dirt about you that they could go and gossip about and negatively affect your reputation with. with the star, they might try to outshine you in social situations - particularly with conversation because you guys are a great conversationalist. that’s how you attract a lot of people to you easily. your words hold weight in a way that people need and they get attached to hearing you voice your opinions and speak. this page of swords gives me hating ass energy. i’m seeing someone evil eyeing you and staring daggers at you as you’re having a conversation that the other person is clearly enjoying or invested in. the people who try to tear you down might be people who aim to look, behave, and appear perfect in any way possible. your beauty is a source of envy, so a lot of people who are insecure af about their physical appearance feel like you’re major competition - to the point where they’re not even competition to you. you outshine them with your beauty. as well as your brains. you’re not just a pretty face. i’m getting that for those of you who are feminines/women, other feminines or women who try to be pick mes (what they believe men want them to be) are often the envious ones around you. the ones who probably think that playing dumb is cute, until they see a man/masculine that they want the attention of being swept up in your conversation and your mind and intelligence. so they start to emulate. people who tear you down stay trying to copy you. the way that you speak, your opinions, the way that you view situations, the way that you heal or help people, the way that you dress. anything. you’re a natural healer. your energy is healing. and these people who try to tear you down try to trigger the more unhealed aspects of you to, again, attach some dirt to your name. this is always unsuccessful though, because you’re so in tune with yourself. stay doing whatever tf you’re doing because it’s clearly something that a lot of people put up on a pedestal and are threatened by.

if you’d like a private reading, please read my pinned post 💞

• pile three •

cards: the hermit, knight of wands, knight of cups

the way that you can be in solitude and go into a deep, introspective mode is threatening to others. you do so much soul searching in order to figure out the lessons that you need to learn. you could have an old mind or an old soul. with a childlike and loving spirit. you’re deeply missed when those who you have a connection with don’t see you. i heard that they feel like they’re talking to someone with the most amount of childlike wonder, but also the oldest, most valuable knowledge at the same time. the way that you can temper yourself in connections - not getting attached recklessly and quickly - also intimidates people for some reason. the mystery that surrounds you seems to be linked to your introversion, but also your knowledge and philosophies. you can focus on what you want or how you feel and just go for it. these moves are in silence. behind the scenes. and you seem to be on a steady path of figuring yourself out and improving yourself every time someone sees you. you’re dedicated to finding motivation, love, and dependency on yourself. for yourself. others who might struggle to build their self esteem views your self improvement as a threat because they compare themselves to you and feel as though they’re a mess compared to you. or way more immature. even if they’re older than you.

cards: 8 of wands, the magician, 2 of pentacles

honestly, pile two, i feel like people are prevented spiritually from trying to tear you down. they might try their shit once or twice, but there’s something that manifests in their life to show them that they tried the wrong one. you guys have karmic energy on your side. when people do try to tear you down, they do it in such a sudden way. this is similar to the way that people try to tear down pile one. people will try to switch up on you and then get hit with that return to sender. they try to either change or completely end your ability to manifest. your valuable resources - whether that’s time, money, energy, etc. because they know that if they drain these things, they’re putting a blockage in your path for you. judging by the wise energy that i get from you, you could experience a lot of people relying on you for advice. the ones who don’t reciprocate that energy when it’s needed are the ones who want to drain you. it’s like they’re trying to take your intelligence, your knowledge, to use as a way to get onto the level that they view you on. they might also become very invasive. i’m ngl, some of these people could try to put some type of magick or witchcraft onto you. but the scales are always balanced. they try to fuck with your balance in your practical life in some way, so when that return to sender is activated, that’s what they experience for themselves. especially with their money and practical aspects of their day-to-day human life. you don’t have anything to worry about in terms of people who try to tear you down. they’re never successful.

if you’d like a private reading, please read my pinned post 💞