#;skz longfic

[planet-dusk]

☆ making bad decisions for you ∘ b.c

chan fucked up, and now he's left to deal with the consequences. how does one find someone to help their sweet pup through her heat on such short notice? the first step: call jisung. the second step: stay on the straight path. he has this under control. at least that's what chan thinks, until you throw him a curve...

─── ☆ pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

─── ☆ length: 2.3k

─── ☆ warnings: puppy hybrid!reader, sub!reader, perv!chan, big dick chan, pillow humping, corruption, bondage, unprotected sex, breeding (like a lot), dirty talk, praise, pet names: baby, pup, puppy

─── ☆ note: 18+ minors dni. the characters don’t represent real idols; this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. fictional smut is not a reflection of real life ! always communicate with your partner and practice consensual and safe sex ‹33

© planet-dusk do not copy, translate or repost my works.

Chan’s in over his head.

He knew this day would come. He should’ve been prepared. But he’s been so busy lately, and he didn’t keep track of your cycle — fuck, if only he could physically beat himself up for being the world’s shittiest owner. 

And of course he can’t find the informational flyers anywhere, and he doesn’t trust the internet, the advice varying so wildly he isn’t sure what to believe. He could call the shelter, but he doesn’t want them to find out he messed up. What if they take you away from him? 

So he calls the only experienced person he can think of: Jisung. 

“I really don’t know what to do, Han, fuck! Please help…”

“Take a deep breath, it’ll be alright. It’s not your fault there’s a suppressant shortage. You sure you don’t want to…?” 

“I can’t, it’s… it’s wrong,” Chan feels the panic rising in his chest again. He takes another gulp of air to calm his shaky nerves. 

“Fine, okay, it was just a suggestion! No need to yell at me, lemme look into it. I'll find a stud for her and come over as soon as my shift’s done, okay? You try to stay calm in the meantime and do exactly as I've told you to. Can you do that?”

“I’m sorry, it’s - I’m a mess, I should’ve seen it coming, but thank you, Ji. Thank you. I owe you one.”

“No worries, bro. Good luck. Call me if you need any help.”

The call disconnects and Chan is left standing alone in the empty bathroom, his heart galloping in his chest. He failed you. But he needs to be there for you now. He's not proud of what he’s about to do, but you’ll understand. He has no other choice. When this is all over you’ll understand. Please, you have to…

“Please forgive me, Y/N,” he whispers and unlocks the door.

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom Chan’s thrown off balance by your body slamming into his. “Channie, sir, please,” you whimper, pressing yourself tighter against his side and wrapping your arms around his neck. Chan feels a blush rise to his cheeks and turns his head away, swallowing harshly. 

“Let’s go to your bedroom, pup.” 

You yelp excitedly and dart off, throwing yourself on the bed. Your tail wags against the sheets and Chan can’t help but smile. When he was a little kid he always thought he’d get a wolfdog hybrid, or a big husky, but then he saw you at the shelter: a little cream coloured mutt with soft ears and a fluffy tail, and he knew he had to bring you home. 

You’re watching him rummage through his nightstand, head cocked and ears pointed. “‘t hurts, Channie, please hurry,” you roll on your back and stay there, skirt sliding down your thighs and almost exposing your panties. Chan coughs. 

“I know, baby, Channie’s here to make it all better,” he mumbles and fishes a pair of padded handcuffs out of the drawer. “Just give me your hands, okay?”

You give him a puzzled look but comply, letting him attach the cuffs to the headboard. “I'm so sorry, puppy, I'm sorry,” he whispers, avoiding your eyes. 

Then he turns around and hurries out of the room, closing the door behind him with a soft but resolute thud. 

Your frustrated howls are loud enough to reach the living room and he flinches. Every noise you make pierces his soul and adds to the pool of guilt in his gut. He had to do it, Jisung told him so — keep her safe, tie her up somewhere, otherwise she might hurt herself. It’s for her best interest. 

Chan knows, but why does it hurt him so much? He checks his phone, looking for a distraction. Two hours left until Jisung’s shift is done. Surely he can find a stud before the end of the day, right? Jisung knows so many people. He said everything would be fine. Chan just has to relax and trust him.

He takes another deep breath and turns on the tv, mindlessly going through the channels. He checks his phone again. 5 minutes have passed. Time’s never felt this slow. 

Eventually he settles on a documentary about tiger hybrids. He almost succeeds in focusing on the (terrible but entertaining) storyline when he notices your howls have changed into softer, breathier sounds. They almost sound like… moans? Chan thinks. He feels his cock stir. He shifts on the couch and stares at the tv, but the screen is a blur and he doesn’t hear a word the voiceover says. 

The noises continue and Chan grows more restless. How…? He looks at his phone again. 90 minutes left. 

With growing curiosity, Chan’s feet lead him to your bedroom almost involuntarily. Your noises have grown softer, little moans and whimpers drifting through the door. With a quiet click he opens it and peeks his head around.

You’re sitting on the bed, awkwardly positioned with your hands still chained to the headboard. Somehow you’ve managed to maneuver one of the pillows between your spread knees. You’re grinding down on it, fluffy tail causing your skirt to ride up. From his position in the doorframe Chan catches a glimpse of your white panties hugging your ass. 

The noises you’re making range from whiny to plain frustrated, the friction not enough to satisfy you. When you bend over to try and find a better position, Chan sucks in a breath, cock swelling at the sight of your soaked panties. You’re so wet the gusset has become almost see through, clinging to the outline of your pussy. 

Chan shouldn’t be here. He should leave before you notice him, before it’s too late. He should go back to the living room, put on his headphones and wait for Jisung to arrive. Let him sort it out. Get you a handsome dog hybrid to help you through your heat. 

“Chan?” your voice is soft, halting his train of thought. “Please…” 

He’s not sure if it’s your broken plea or something else that compels him to move, but Chan steps into your room. Your tail starts to wag slowly and you drop to your elbows, presenting yourself to him. From this distance Chan can see the tantalizing curve where your thighs meet your ass, the spot he wants to lick and suck and tease…

“‘s okay, puppy, Channie’s here.” There’s still time to leave. But you’re looking back at him with your pretty eyes — how could he say no to his sweet pup? He wants to protect you. Keep you safe. Jisung and his stud be damned. 

“I’m so sorry I did this to you, Y/N. I panicked.”

His hand strokes your thigh and you sigh into his touch. “Don’t leave me again, Channie. Promise.”

Chan shakes his head. “It was a mistake, I promise, I’m here with you now pup. Let me help you.” 

You mewl when his fingers graze your clothed slit. “Sir, ‘s hurting, don’t make me wait any longer, need you to breed me now, please,” you trail off, grinding back against his hand. 

Normally Chan would take his time to explore your body, tease you until you’ve cum at least twice before he’d give you his cock. But he hears the urgency in your voice, your pained little whimpers as you tug at your restraints. 

And it’d be a lie to say he hasn’t fantasized about this before. Late at night in his own bedroom while he tried to muffle his moans, unsure of what your sensitive ears could pick up. 

Chan slides your panties down your thighs with shaky hands. Your pretty cunt’s all puffy and glossy with your slick and it drips down his fingers when he pushes two inside. 

Your reaction is instantaneous, a pleasant gasp as you arch your back for him. “Need more, need your cock, need it now,” you plead again. 

“You sure you can take it, puppy?”

Chan rolls his plush bottom lip between his teeth. He doesn’t want to hurt you. 

“‘Mmm don’t care, make it fit,” you pout and wag your tail for him, “Channie.”

He’ll never tire of hearing his name like this. A broken sound, filled with so much need it goes straight to his head. 

He chucks off his pants and his boxers, hard cock springing free and slapping against his abdomen. He slides the tip over your slit to wet it, holding your hips to keep you still. Then he sheathes himself in your dripping heat inch by inch, whispering soft praises into the air between you. 

“Just like that, puppy, don’t move. Gonna fill you up so good baby, let me take care of you.”

Chan knows he’s big, watches your pretty hole stretch to accommodate him. He groans at how wet and warm you feel. It’s even better than he imagined. When you shift forward on your knees he growls, “Where do you think you’re going, pup? I'm not even halfway in yet.”

He pushes in deeper, watches you arch your back even more. “Channie, so full,” you pant when he finally bottoms out, stilling for a moment to catch his breath. The sensation of your soft, velvety cunt around him is overwhelming all his senses. 

“Yeah? Is my puppy nice and full?”

“Wanted - wanted this for so long,” you say and his heart makes a little leap. He knows it’s just your heat-clouded mind talking, the hormones making you more susceptible to his presence. But there’s a small part of him that dares to hope you’re speaking the truth. 

“Yah - wanted my sir, my Channie,” you nod when he starts moving, holding tight onto the handcuff’s chain. He briefly considers removing them, but you don’t seem to mind being tied up like this, pushing back on his cock like the neediest little thing he’s ever seen.

My Channie.

“I want you too, Y/N,” he groans and you hum at the sound of your name. “Can’t stay away from you - my pretty baby… knew it from the day I brought you home.”

You’re moaning every time his hips meet yours, soft uh-uh-uh’s like music to his ears. Your pussy is gushing around his length, and Chan’s not sure how long he’s going to last if you keep clenching down on him like this.

“Fuck, puppy - you’re hugging my cock so tight,” he lands a playful smack on your ass, “want me to breed you that bad, huh? Want me to stuff you full with pups?”

He tilts your hips to reach even deeper, fat cock slamming into you with force. You’re slumping against the mattress and he hovers over your back to nip at your ear, eliciting another moan from you. The soft fur of your tail tickles his abs but Chan is too focused on the erratic pulsing of your walls around him. 

“Are you going to cum for me, baby? I can feel you’re close, just let go. I’ve got you. Channie’s got you. My good girl.”

You sob and he feels your release gush around him, fucking you through your high with renewed vigor. You’re a blabbering mess, unable to form words except for “Channie,” “please,” and “fuck.” 

“Did my puppy lose her tongue?” He grins. “Getting all dumb on my cock after one orgasm, and I haven’t even bred you yet, baby.”

“Please…need it,” you whisper into the sheets, “need you to cum inside, please, sir.”

Even with his weight pressing you into the bed you’re still angling your hips up more, and Chan buries his face into the crook of your neck. You smell so good, like vanilla and the heady scent of sex. “I always keep my promise, pup, I’m going to breed you so well you’ll feel it dripping out of you for the next three days.”

You turn your head just enough to catch his gaze, your eyes so glossy and fucked-out Chan loses all composure. He ruts into you one, two more times before ropes of thick cum paint your inner walls and tumble you headfirst into another orgasm. 

His thighs are shaking, your cunt milking him of every last drop until he’s a panting mess on top of you. For a moment the two of you lay still, breathing heavily, until Chan realizes you’re still chained to the bed. He pulls out and you mumble something when you feel his cum drip out of you, rubbing your thighs together. 

Chan unclasps the handcuffs and kisses your wrists, hugs you close and captures your lips with his own. They’re so soft, needy little sounds already escaping you again as you rut against his thigh. “Need more, Channie.” 

“Insatiable little thing,” he grins and traces your puffy cunt with his fingers. “Can’t get enough, can you?” 

He slips one finger in your sensitive hole just as the doorbell rings. You look up in surprise, eyes wide and ears darting in all directions. 

Chan kisses you again. “Ignore the bell, pup. I’m not going anywhere. Made a promise, remember? Need to breed you nice and round. Maybe make you beg a little more for it,” he chuckles, “let me see how needy you can really get.” 

You’re grinding down on his thigh now and Chan doesn’t care how long he has to stay here with you, he’ll give you whatever you want. He’ll spend days holed up inside your nest if he has to. 

You grab his shirt and pull him closer, and the blaring sound of his ringtone rips him out of his reverie. 

He rolls over with a groan and hits the green button, cutting off Jisung’s voice. “It’s already taken care of, Ji. Thank you.”

“Wha —? You sly dog!”

Chan throws his phone into a corner and rolls you onto your back, slotting himself between your thighs with a smile. “Don’t worry, pup. I won’t let anyone else touch you ever again.”

© planet-dusk do not copy, translate or repost my works.

[minhosbitterriver]

( 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑 ): Release Date: Posted!

──── * ˚ ✦ ECHOES OF US ( stray kids )

❛ After a painful breakup, you and Jeongin struggle to maintain a civil front for your mutual friends, but when he accidentally calls you by your old pet name, unresolved emotions resurface, forcing you both to confront the lingering feelings between you.

𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧 + gender neutral reader ೯ ( 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 )

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.5k~

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ This is sort of still a work in progress, but really it just means that I have to finish writing the ending of the final draft before finally moving on to proofreading. Since this is my first official long-fic (a story for a single member that's over 10K), I thought it might be fun to announce it now and see who's interested! This was anonymously requested! (Anon, I'm sorry it took me a hot minute to finally finish this, but I hope I made up for it with how long it ended up being 🫠) Reblogs for this teaser are always appreciated! Requests are currently open! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of sibling death and grief, very brief mention of a dysfunctional home, brief explanation of sibling death, Y/N's sibling has their own name, mentions of being abandoned, heartbreak, awkward re-encounter after almost a year, discussions on mental health, a whole lot of angst, comforting ending.

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐣𝐚𝐫 )

Want to be alerted when I post this? Let me know in the comments so I can tag you!

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

part one of do you feel my hand? it is there. | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader's childhood cat suddenly gets diagnosed with cancer, and she has to make a big decision about what to do. this fanfic includes heavy topics like: pet euthanasia, extreme loss/grief, depression, the problems with pet healthcare, and more. there will be some humor/fluff placed throughout, and also smut somewhere along the way. :))

word count: 7.1k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: i decided to split this fic up into like, 3-4 separate chapters, since i felt like having 20.k+ words for a single 'long oneshot' was kindaa excessive lmao 😂 anyways, i'm excited for the future of this little series and what it's gonna look like exploring the relationship between minho and y/n~ 😉 also, for anyone that noticed, YES- i changed my entire tumblr theme after like, 4 months of having it be rainbow haha, so you might not recognize me on your dash with my new look. but yeah, this is the 'new me' for the next few months... i was feeling super inspired to do a muted levanter theme, since it's one of my fav albums/songs from skz haha so here we are!! ☺️

🐈‍⬛ - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The clinic was incredibly busy as you stepped through the front doors. Looking around the medium-sized waiting room, you noticed how almost every single seat was taken up by a patient. Because apparently, the hot place to be on a Thursday morning was Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic. 

 You clutched on a little tighter to the carrier at your side, which held your cat Nyx just inside the bassinet. She was an American Shorthair, with a coat as black as midnight and big, ocean-blue eyes. Your parents had gifted you Nyx as a surprise for your sixth birthday, since you had been begging them for a cat all year long. And instantly, the two of you were inseparable. Nyx had been with you for almost every stage of your life - including grade/middle school, high school, and all of university. She was so incredibly affectionate towards everyone, but especially you. She loved curling up alongside you after you’d spent a long, hard day at work and would just cuddle into your skin for hours. 

 Nyx was your stability in everything - she was one of your only friends, even when you were surrounded by other adults your same age at work. And at the ripe age of twenty-four, you couldn’t imagine what your life would be like if she ever left your side.

 But, you weren’t naive, or stupid. 

 And you knew that at some point, Nyx would have to move on from your world and onto a better, and brighter future. 

 Which is why you decided to adopt a female Bengal cat after you graduated from university. Taffy had a brilliant orange-and-brown coat with light green eyes. And because she was so much younger than Nyx, she had a lot more energy. But even still, the two cats got along quite well, despite their huge age gap. Taffy was the troublemaker out of the two and liked to get into mischief with all kinds of things. 

 You took great pride in both of them and the relationship that you had with your two kitties, which is why you regularly took them to the local veterinarian clinic for routine checkups. Usually, you visited every six months, just to make sure that Taffy and Nyx were in perfect health.

 And it’s not like you were complaining about the visits to Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic. It was a beautiful and spacious place, with a friendly bunch of staff and an even better doctor. 

 Doctor Lee Minho had been the continual talk of the town since he had moved into the area three years before, and soon after he set up his practice - which was just a short walk from your quaint apartment - you started going to him for your cat’s regular check-ups. Dr. Lee was incredibly professional with all of his clients, and he had a true knack for animals… but especially, cats. That’s what he prided himself on - knowing the ins and outs of the feisty little beings... since he had three of his own. Some even said that he was a cat himself since he had similar mannerisms to the felines. 

 It also helped that he was insanely handsome. 

 Like, drop-dead gorgeous. 

 You weren’t a fool - you noticed how, every time you visited the clinic, most of the clients were women. And almost every time that you sat in the waiting room, you’d overhear women talking amongst themselves… about how they had dressed up for the occasion, and how Dr. Lee was way too cute for his good. 

 For the most part, all of the comments passed over your head. 

 After all, he was just a veterinarian. He wasn’t anything special… 

 He just took amazing care of the animals that visited his clinic. 

 And he seemed to adore your two cats. 

 And- 

 Perhaps he was kind of, sort of, attractive. 

 If a woman liked the silent, brooding, brown-haired types of guys- then yeah, he was fucking really hot. 

 But, you always tried to push those thoughts out of your mind each time they started to bubble up to the forefront of your mind. You didn’t want to ruin the professional doctor-client relationship that the two of you had been cultivating for over three years. He was an amazing veterinarian with a lot of skill and expertise, and you had a feeling that you taking advantage of your closeness with him, by forcing yourself onto him, would just turn him away. 

 After all, he was always professional and polite with you. Even if he seemed to give you a lot of smiles and laughs each time you had an appointment at the clinic. And even if he seemed overly affectionate with Nyx and Taffy. He was just doing his job, as that’s what was to be expected from a doctor like him. 

 And besides, a guy like him would never go for you. For starters, you had just recently found out that he was five years older than you, landing him at the mature age of twenty-nine. And older guys of that many years never went for you - never stooped that low. Plus, he was a successful doctor and a businessman with his clinic. Whereas you were a struggling woman who was fighting to make ends meet at her low-ranking corporate job. You sat in a small cubicle all day, typing away at a bright computer screen, and Dr. Lee sat in front of patients and animals, actually making a difference in others’ lives. 

 There was also the fact that you were borderline poor- since your job barely paid anything compared to the way that the economy was so expensive. You struggled to pay your bills monthly and lived from paycheck to paycheck. Meanwhile, Dr. Lee rolled up to the clinic in his dark-blue sports car and was always donned in all different kinds of designer dress shirts and slacks. 

 So, yeah, he’d never fall for you. Not in a million years. 

 “Y/N! Good to see you again!” You heard a bright voice call out to you, bringing you out of your daydreams of expensive cars and fancy clothes. 

 Your eyes flitted up to the person sitting behind the front check-in desk of the clinic. Chan, one of the two receptionists of the place, was looking up at you with a soft smile adorning his face. 

 “Oh- hi, Chan… I’m here for Nyx’s check-up.” You mimicked his smile, motioning with a tilt of your head to the carrier where Nyx was situated in. 

 You were on a first-name basis with the entire staff line of the clinic, as you had been visiting it for so many years. Everyone at the clinic was extremely nice, and all of the staff were Dr. Lee’s friends. Soon after you first visited the clinic, he told you about the story of how he had recruited some of his best friends to open the shop with him, and how the rest was history. Even still, you called everyone by their first name except for Dr. Lee - since you decided to keep it professional with him and always address him by his official title well into the beginning of your appointments at the clinic. 

 “Sure thing,” Chan began, tearing his gaze away from you and typing away at his computer. “I see here that Jisung jotted down your concerns for this visit’s file. Has anything changed since you called in a month ago?” 

 You moved your focus onto the carrier at your side, where you saw Nyx resting peacefully just inside it. She had long since gotten used to the clinic and was normally very calm whenever you visited the place. “Yeah, she’s been sleepier than usual, and like- she doesn’t want to eat the food that I’ve been giving her, even though I’ve changed the brand two times already.” 

 Chan’s eyes darted up to you, studying your face silently before they flitted over to the carrier that you had placed atop the counter at your side. “Okay, I’ll add all of that to the notes so that the doctor can take a look,” you noticed how his lips were pressed together in a grim line- like he didn’t like what you had just told him. “You can take a seat, and Yongbok will call you back when they’re ready for you guys.” 

 “Thanks, Chan,” you said, offering him a tiny, weak smile before you headed off to find one of the only available seats left in the waiting room. As soon as you got situated, you gingerly took Nyx out of her crate. She was warm and downy in your hands and purred quietly at the feel of you pressing her furry body against your chest. “It’s gonna be okay, girl, you’ll be alright…” You whispered to her, mouth nuzzling into her silky coat as you placed a gentle kiss against her head. 

 After you placed Nyx back in her crate, you spent the waiting time studying the people around you. Once again, it was mainly women’s faces that your eyes met as you scanned over the entire room. And there were all different types of pets everywhere, from dogs to cats to birds. 

 “Oh, and apparently, Jungmi’s friend saw him out on the streets late at night last week… like, all alone and stuff.” You heard the woman say beside you. She was sitting close to another woman, and their heads were bent at an angle as they gossiped together. “Some girl came out of this one cafe and was hanging all over him, but it didn't seem like he knew her that well.” 

 The other woman snorted lowly, “Well that bitch doesn’t matter, because I’m going to be sure to seduce him this time around. I mean, c’mon- who can resist this shirt?” At her insinuation, you realized that they were talking about Dr. Lee. 

 Even still, you felt the urge to peek over to your side and look at her attire, and when you did, you swallowed down the dryness in your throat. Because holy fuck- she looked like she was about to go to the club. Her shirt had a scoop neckline and was so low, more than half of her tits were hanging out of the loose fabric. It was tight and stretched over her bosom in an alluring kind of way, leaving little to the imagination. 

 Meanwhile, you were dressed in one of your old, baggy hoodies and a pair of loose-fitting denim jeans. Even though it was the beginning of spring, it was still quite chilly out early in the morning. And besides, you weren’t planning on going anywhere else after you visited the clinic, since you had taken the rest of the day off from work, so there was no use in dressing up. Not like you had any nice, sexy clothes like that to begin with, though. 

 In all actuality, you really couldn’t afford to take a day off of work. But, you felt like it was needed after the long week that you had had. After the long year you had had. 

 Suddenly feeling self-conscious while you sat next to Aphrodite herself, your fingers scrambled to yank down the arms of your hoodie as best as you could, trying to let the fabric swallow you up in your seat. 

 Just then, your name was called over the hustle and bustle of the waiting room, and you peered up to see a smiling Yongbok standing in the doorway that lead to the rest of the clinic - where the examining rooms were. 

 In a hurry, you scrambled to pick up your tote bag and hoisted Nyx in her carrier with one arm, following right behind the young vet tech as he lead you through the back rooms of the clinic. The hallway was buzzing with movement, as the other Tech’s, Seungmin and Hyunjin, helped vet assistant Changbin calm down a barking German Shepherd so that they could usher him onto a weighing station that was positioned in a corner of the hallway. Dr. Lee was nowhere to be found… yet. 

 “I haven’t seen you in a while,” Yongbok started, as he motioned to an examining room just off to the right side for you to walk in. You took a seat in the chair that was positioned next to the desk - where the doctor always sat. “Since Hyunjin is almost always the one who first greets you.” The younger man with light blonde hair and big, expressive eyes sighed in an exaggerated kind of way, which forced a quiet giggle out of you. 

 “He’s a good tech though… Taffy especially likes him, I think.” You started, your mind already trailing off to what your younger cat might be doing while being left home alone in your apartment. No doubt tearing into the bag of chips that you had accidentally left atop the kitchen counter. 

 “Mhm- how is she, by the way? I feel like you haven’t brought her in in a while,” Yongbok said, as he slipped on a pair of blue latex gloves. You dragged your eyes away from his form and instead concentrated on unzipping the carrier in your arms, slowly drawing out a lethargic Nyx. 

 “Taffy is good, just being her usual rambunctious self,” you laughed softly, shaking your head as the affection for your other cat took over your thoughts. “She’s definitely very different from my Nyx here, that’s for sure…” 

 Yongok wheeled his chair over to you then, gently taking your old cat from your hands and hoisting her up onto the examination table that was nearby. “I saw in the files that she’s been having problems with eating?” He started, voice growing serious as he began his study of your cat. 

 You nodded slowly, swallowing over the nervous lump that had begun to form in your throat as soon as he placed Nyx on the paper-lined table. You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, and you watched in silence as Yongbok turned Nyx around to thoroughly examine her. “Yeah, and she hasn’t been wanting to play with Taffy either, even though she used to love to.” 

 “How long has this been going on?” 

 “About… four months now?” 

 Yongbok turned to you then, leveling you with a deep frown, “And you’re only bringing her in now?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but was more on the perplexed side of things, as all of the staff at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic knew how much you loved your cats and how you adored taking care of them. 

 You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, hating the way that he seemed to question why you hadn’t taken care of Nyx’s symptoms earlier. “I-I didn’t have the money for this appointment until just recently, so that’s why I'm only bringing her in now.” 

 Your gaze snagged on Yongbok’s face, and the way that it instantly melted at your confession... brows furrowing and mouth pressing into a velvety line. The entire clinic must’ve known about your financial situation by now - about how you could barely afford food for yourself, let alone the bills from the clinic - since more oftentimes than not, you’d ask for a grace period from paying for the visits. 

 “I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you’re in the wrong here,” he began, but his slight frown only seemed to deepen as he spoke the words, “It’s just that- these symptoms shouldn’t be ignored for that long.” 

 At that, your heart started beating frantically inside your chest. Your focus landed on Nyx, who was now resting atop the table, with her eyes closed peacefully. “W-What? What do you mean by that? Is something wrong-”

 Yongbok reached over then, giving your shoulder a delicate pat. “I can’t confirm anything myself, but I’m going to take Nyx back to the X-Ray rooms to examine her better. Then, I’ll give the data to Dr. Lee and he can examine the diagnosis.” He gingerly scooped up Nyx into his arms, pressing her against his chest. 

 “O-Okay, but-” You began, but were soon cut off by the way that Yongbok gave you a slight, reassuring smile. 

 “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m sure Nyx is just fine.” Is the last thing he said, before he was quickly filing out of the room with your cat in his hold, leaving you all alone. 

 And as soon as he shut the door closed, you were a nervous wreck. Your knees bounced up and down, hands turning clammy and breath falling out in shaky gasps as your mind raced a mile a minute with countless thoughts. 

 Would Nyx be okay? 

 Was she sick? 

 What was so wrong with her? 

 The wait time to see the doctor usually wasn’t that long, but this time - this time, it felt different. 

 It felt like each minute stretched out before you in an endless cycle, sending you down a deep and deeper spiral of anguish as you tried to wrack your brain around the entire situation.

 When finally, there was a gentle knock on the door. 

 You had been holding your head in either of your hands, but upon hearing footsteps against the linoleum floors, you peered up to see Dr. Lee closing the door behind him. He was dressed in his usual garb - dress slacks, a simple white button-down, and his white doctor's coat. 

 Dr. Lee was silent, as he wheeled his chair over to you. And only then did you notice that Nyx was missing. That he wasn’t carrying her in his arms- like he usually did when he brought her back from the closed examination room. 

 And you knew the moment that he sat down, that something was wrong. 

 Because usually, when his eyes caught yours as he walked through the examining room’s door, his entire face would light up with one of those brilliant smiles that women gushed over. Usually, he’d be the first one to crack a stupid joke - whether it was something lame about the weather outside, or about the crazy animal that he just had an encounter with before seeing you. 

 But this time? 

 No, this time it was very different. 

 His proud shoulders were slumped low, cheekbones dark with shadows, and plump, red lips pressed together in a firm line. 

 He clenched and unclenched his jaw once, 

 twice, 

 three times.

 Then, and only then, did his eyes meet yours. 

 And they said all you needed to know. 

 Just by the way that his dark, chestnut-brown pupils danced with a myriad of emotions; apprehension, fear, compassion, but most of all… sadness. 

 “What is it?” 

 The words flowed from your lips before you even knew what you were asking, and almost immediately, you were sitting up a little straighter in your chair. 

 Spine going rigid, fists growing tight at your sides. 

 Something swam, cool and deep, inside of you.

 Chilling you to the bone, with tense unease.  

 In the depths of your mind, you felt the pinprick of ominous heartache prodding at the fleshy part of your soul. 

 The part that was weak and emotional and so very tender all of the time. 

 “I’m so sorry.” 

 Was the first thing Dr. Lee said. 

 You already felt the tears flowing, unbidden and unchecked, warming your suddenly freezing cheeks, at the sound of ‘sorry’ leaving his mouth. Because he had never said such a thing to you before. And you never, ever, wanted to hear it come from him again. 

 “What’s wrong?” You prodded again, limbs growing a little shaky in your anxiety. Breath hitching in your chest agonizingly, you could physically feel your heart pushing against your ribs. 

 Aching, 

 Burning, 

 Already seeping with hurt, even though you didn’t quite know what was wrong just yet. 

 Dr. Lee ran a rough hand up and down his face, sighing into his palm, shaking his head once. Then, his fingers were running through his black locks, tugging at the roots just a tiny bit. 

 Almost like, this crushed him just as much as it was about to pain you. 

 “It’s about Nyx.” 

 Swallowing over the huge lump forming in your throat proved very difficult at that moment, but somehow - by some miracle - you did it. 

 Your tongue felt heavy inside of your mouth- like it was made of hard metal. 

 For a few beats, you couldn’t manage to form the right words, but when you did, you already felt the stability seeping out of you. Like you were a hot air balloon that had been poked with a sharp needle, with the scalding air and sanity flooding from you in a single breath. 

 “I’m sorry, Miss. Y/N, I-”

 “Just fucking say it, Dr. Lee!” You suddenly exclaimed, voice straining from your quiet sobs. The fat tears rolled down either of your cheeks, leaving angry wet trails in their wake. 

 He was silent after that, gaze running up and down the length of you slowly. Like you were one of his animals that he assessed daily - like he was testing out your strength and resolve. 

 Then, his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, and they melted into two puddles of grief. 

 “It seems as though Nyx is suffering from an acute form of bone cancer.” 

 And just like, your heart completely stopped. 

 Each breath you took felt garbled and all wrong. 

 Your shaky legs and arms wobbled all around you.  

 The floor crumbled underneath your feet, 

 Breaking, cracking, shattering irrevocably. 

 And in that moment, you wished for nothing more but for it to open up completely, and swallow you whole. 

 Please, 

 Oh, fuck, please- 

 Just swallow me already. 

 Because anything, 

Anything, 

 Would be better than this newfound hell. 

 “No- no, you’re lying.” You said in a low, gravelly voice. You were clutching onto the arms of your chair, holding on for dear life. Like if you squeezed hard enough, you would be able to wake up and all of this would just fade away into a bad dream. 

 “Miss. Y/N, I’m so sorry but-” Dr. Lee started in a calm tone, but his face read everything but calm - as his brows wrinkled with concern and his brown eyes were alight with a certain kind of sadness. 

 “This is a bad dream, it has to be a bad dream,” you cut him off, violently shaking your head from side to side in your disbelief. If you just pinched yourself, maybe then you’d wake up from such a hell. So that’s exactly what you did. 

 Grabbing one of your arms, you frantically pinched at the skin there. 

 Again, 

 And again, 

 And again. 

 The tears blurred your vision so much that it was hard to see what was in front of you - hard to notice the angry red mark that started to bloom out across your flesh at your abuse. 

 Just then, two warm hands took hold of either of yours, fingers sliding between fingers, calloused palms squeezing your own.

 The dark-haired figure was kneeling in front of you then, still holding onto your hands. Your heart felt like it was breaking over and over just beneath your ribcage. With each breath that you took, a new piece of it shattered off to swim in the blood flowing through your veins. 

 “Those symptoms that Nyx has been having are all signs of an acute form of bone cancer, Miss. Y/N. And, they will get worse,” the man said, his low, familiar voice running across your ears and nudging at a tender, warm spot deep inside of you. 

 “B-But she’ll get better, right? You can heal her, right, doctor?” You asked, throat straining from all of the tears. Through your hazy vision, you clutched a little harder at his hands. 

 There was a pause of silence on his end after that, which only made you feel worse. 

 When he finally spoke again, it felt like your world merely crumbled further and further. “Yongbok told me about your… situation, and why you didn’t bring her in earlier. But, because of the wait time, the cancer has developed into an acute case. The only options for helping her at this stage are- amputation and chemotherapy.” 

 It felt like someone took a bucket of ice-cold water and doused your entire form as soon as his words registered in your mind. 

 Because if you hadn’t waited so long to get it checked out, 

 If you hadn’t put it off because you didn’t have the money, 

 If you didn’t have such a low-paying, shitty job,

 Then Nyx never would’ve gotten the cancer in the first place. 

 Instinctually, you ripped your hands out of Dr. Lee’s grasp. It was the first time you had ever had physical contact with him - and the feeling left you feeling both sick to your stomach and also sent anxious butterflies to erupt throughout your system. 

 “Oh fuck- it’s my fault,” you said in an incredulous tone, fingers digging into your scalp and tearing at your roots there. “If I hadn’t waited so long, she never would’ve gotten this and she wouldn’t be-”

 You felt a heavy hand land atop one of your shoulders, nimble fingers pressing into your skin just slightly. Enough to help ground you back to reality. “I know it’s difficult right now, but I promise it’s going to be okay. You just have to take a few deep breaths and-”

 “Where is she?” You asked in a low voice, having the sudden urge to hold your baby in your arms. Maybe, if she just felt you, she’d be healed… “Where is my Nyx, Dr. Lee?” 

 But you didn’t even wait for him to reply, as you tore away from his hold and hurried to the door, grabbing Nyx’s carrier on the way out. Faintly, you registered Dr. Lee calling out to you from behind, but you paid no mind to it and instead ran through the hallway just outside of the examination room.

 “Nyx!” You called out, tone turning desperate. You raced down the hallway, sneakers hitting the concrete at your feet. “Nyx!” The tears clouded your vision, so it was hard to see where you going. But even still, you glimpsed Hyunjin coming out from a room in the back of the clinic, with a black mass of fur laying in his arms. 

 You cried out in relief at the sight of her, and in an instant, you were running forward and scooping her up and into your grasp. Pressing your face into her warm body, you cuddled her close. 

 “Y/N-” Hyunjin began, sympathy heavy in his tone. You felt his eyes travel across your face as you looked down at your sickly cat, with fat tears falling down your cheeks and a rapidly-beating heart. 

 “Let’s go home, my sweet girl…” You whispered so that only Nyx could hear you. And you couldn’t help but notice how light she felt in your arms - she hadn’t had much of an appetite in the last few months, and it pained you so much to know that you hadn’t realized it until it was too late. 

 Then you were turning away from Hyunjin, not even giving him any attention, as you rushed through the hallway and pressed onwards to the front desk area. Faintly, you could hear people calling out your name from somewhere in the back of the clinic. 

 But you couldn’t concentrate on any of that. All you could think of was your beautiful cat, who was peacefully sleeping in your arms. “Just a little bit longer, Nyx, we’re almost home…” 

 The rest of the week passed by in a blur of heartache and tears, as you battled with yourself and your mind to try and come to terms with what was happening. 

 With what you were going to lose. 

 It was hard to focus on anything else besides the impending doom that seemed to be right on your doorstep. You were slacking off at your work, which caused your boss to ream you out the next Monday morning. But you couldn’t help it - every time you tried to think about anything else besides Nyx, and losing her, the stormy feelings just came back tenfold. 

 You had found yourself holed up in your office’s bathroom stalls on more than one occasion already, and by the time it hit a week since you had visited the clinic, it felt like all of the tears had been completely drained from your body. 

 Every time you looked at her, you wanted to cry. You wanted to, but your body just wouldn't let you. So instead, you took to staying up late into the night and researching remedies to alleviate the pain of cancer - because truly, you hadn’t gotten a solid five hours of sleep since the diagnosis. 

 After two weeks, you had tried all of the solutions that you could find online - that ranged from implementing natural, whole foods into Nyx’s diet to rubbing lavender oil all over her limbs to try and soothe the pain from standing. Seeing her slowly start to deteriorate in front of your very eyes was possibly the worst part about it all - and how she’d whine and cry while walking around the house. Even Taffy could sense that something was wrong when her friend no longer had the energy to play with her anymore. 

 Throughout all of it, you avoided the phone calls. And they could be from only one ID - since you didn’t have any friends or family members who cared enough about you to call three times a day. Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic called you without fail, and they were adamant about getting in contact. No doubt Chan was on the other line the whole time, trying to talk some sense into you. 

 But you just couldn’t do it - couldn’t bring yourself to walk through those doors and face the dark road ahead that most-assuredly lead to death. Because you had already extensively researched the therapy for treating Nyx’s kind of cancer, and it was looking quite bleak. The procedures were so fucking expensive, it baffled you how anyone in their right mind could be able to afford such things. 

 Everything changed though, when on one Saturday night, you arrived home late from running errands and found Nyx sprawled out on your living room’s small, rickety couch. You scurried over to her side and shook her awake. But she wouldn’t open her eyes. And it seemed like she was hardly breathing. You called out to her again and again, startling Taffy of your presence. 

 When finally, Nyx awoke. After much pleading and crying, she opened her eyes lazily and stretched. 

 And so it was decided right then and there, that you’d go into the clinic that night. 

 You couldn’t afford to put it off any longer, and frankly, you had the feeling that Nyx couldn’t either. It was getting close to eight o’clock in the evening, and the clinic closed its doors for the weekend right at eight, so you made quick haste out of your dingy hell-hole-of-an-apartment. 

 When you arrived at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic, the entire place was dark. You peeked through the windows and noticed the empty waiting room. “No, no- no…” You muttered to yourself, checking the time on your phone and reading that it was a little past eight. 

 You quickly looked around the street, noticing how most of the shops were already closed up for the weekend. Feeling the panic rising inside of you, you began to furiously knock on the glass door of the clinic. If someone was back there, maybe you could get ahold of Dr. Lee and- 

 “Miss. Y/N?” You heard a friendly, faint voice say from somewhere to your side. Turning around to the sound of it, you came face-to-face with Dr. Lee himself. He had his doctor’s coat off and was dressed in his usual work clothes of slacks and a dress shirt. “What are you-”

 You pressed your hands against your chest, trying to calm your heart that was painfully beating against your ribcage. “Dr. Lee- please, it’s… it’s Nyx.” 

 His brown eyes flashed across the length of your form, the fading sunset coloring his skin in an orange and pink kind of glow. “Come inside, it’s too cold out to be standing around like this.” He said, already moving to unlock the front door of the clinic. After all, it was early spring and the nights tended to grow on the cooler side of things once the sun dipped below the horizon.

 “Okay, thanks,” you whispered, following behind him as the two of you shifted through the clinic. Dr. Lee made his way over to a cluster of chairs in the corner of the waiting room.  

 “Please, sit.” He pointed to the nearest chair and waited for you to get situated before taking the seat just beside you. “So, tell me what’s going on.” 

 And suddenly, you realized the gravity of the situation. You realized that it was just the two of you - Dr. Lee and you - sitting inside the clinic, alone. There weren’t any other clients around, there wasn’t Chan or Jeongin, or Yongbok. And all at once, it felt rather… intimate. 

 You squirmed in your seat, your shaking hands beginning to play with the worn hemline of your oversized hoodie. Taking a deep breath, you gathered up all of your courage and leveled your gaze on the nearby front desk that was placed in the center of the large waiting room. “Well, I-I got home today from running some errands, and I found Nyx lying on my couch. But it didn’t seem like she was napping like she normally does… and she, she wouldn’t wake up. I kept trying and trying and-” Your words came out all rushed and garbled, as the tears began to crest over your eyes and you felt your cheeks heating with the flush of emotion. 

 “Hey- hey, it’s okay… don’t push yourself, yeah?” Dr. Lee’s smooth voice did something to the broken part inside of you - caused something to stir and yet settle at the same time. “That must’ve been a very scary experience for you, so it’s understandable that you would be shaken up about it.” 

 And just like that, the guilt piled on even higher. 

 Because Dr. Lee had always been incredibly nice to you and your cats. He had always been there for you guys, through the ups and downs of life, and you felt so horrible for ignoring the clinic’s calls. Because you knew that the team at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic only wanted the very best for you and your cats… and especially, Dr. Lee. 

 “I’m so sorry for ignoring the clinic’s calls,” you suddenly blurted out, feeling the blush rise and pool in your ears at the feeling of Dr. Lee’s gaze landing on you - assessing your nervous state. Your thumbs continued to fiddle with the fabric at your waist, pulling and pulling. “I-I just didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to face the issue. But, I now realize how stupid that was- how stupid I’ve been about this whole thing-” 

 “Don’t ever say that again, Y/N. You’re not stupid, and Nyx having cancer isn’t your fault. This was something that was inevitable and nothing you could do was going to stop it.” Dr. Lee cut through your words. You tried to comprehend what he was saying, but instead, your brain was only repeating the same phrase over and over again. 

 Y/N, 

 Y/N- 

 Y/N. 

 He had used your name, without putting ‘miss’ before it. He had never done such a thing in the past. He had always kept things professional and addressed you by your proper title - just like you had done for him. 

 But all at once, you realized that perhaps you didn’t mind it at all. And perhaps, his dropping the honorifics wasn’t so bad. 

“Still, I’m sorry for not answering the calls,” you said, shaking your head slowly in defeat. You were desperately trying to battle the furious blush that was slinking up your neck at the way that he had said your name. It sounded so perfect and beautiful on his tongue, like- 

 “I was the one making all of those calls, and I can assure you that I didn’t take your silence to heart. I understand what you’re going through right now because I’ve experienced something similar in the past with one of my passed cats.” 

 At that, your eyes tore away from the front desk and landed on Dr. Lee. Your gazes locked, and inside his chestnut-brown eyes, you found so many different emotions there… compassion and gentleness. There was a certain kind of faded light there, as you stared at him. 

 “I… I didn’t know. I just assumed that it was Chan or Jisung…” 

 Dr. Lee shrugged his proud shoulders nonchalantly, like him calling you three times a day to try and work out a treatment plan for Nyx wasn’t that big of a deal. 

 When in actuality, 

 No one in your entire life had ever tried so frantically to get ahold of you. 

 And the fact that it was him- behind the phone, waiting for you to pick up, hearing your voicemail click on every time the dial failed… just made you feel even worse. 

“But that’s all in the past now, so don’t worry about it anymore,” Dr. Lee began, waving a hand in the air to seemingly try and clear your thoughts away. You watched in silence, then, as his hand slid away from his lap and hovered over yours. In a single beat, his fingers were threading through yours, palm against palm. And his hand was so incredibly warm and familiar. “Now, let’s instead focus on Nyx’s treatment, yeah? The sooner we can give her the help she needs, the better.” 

 For a few seconds, the thoughts of your dying childhood best friend had vanished from your mind and were instead replaced with the feeling of Dr. Lee’s hand holding yours and the way that his tongue formed your name, and the way he smelled - sitting so close to you - of warm chamomile and sweet cookies. 

 Immediately, at the mention of Nyx, you felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes once more. “I-I don’t have the money.” 

 Silence filled the space around the two of you after that, and you felt Dr. Lee’s gaze studying your form, as you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “You mean for her treatment?” 

 “Y-Yeah… I, I don’t make that much. I can barely afford her and Taffy’s regular bills as it is. But, having to pay for the cancer treatment on top of everything else? I-I just don’t think I can manage that.” 

 You felt Dr. Lee shift in his seat beside you, making your eyes spring open as you watched the pained expression cast over his entire face. It darkened his cheekbones, shooting a look of pity through his eyes. 

 “The treatment is really expensive, I’m afraid.” 

 The hiccups started then, as the tears traced down your cheeks faster. Your entire body shook with the cries, “This is why I didn’t want to come here again… I didn’t want to hear the news that nothing else could be done except- except that.” 

 It was like the fucking jumbo-sized elephant in the room… 

 The fact that- the only other solution to Nyx’s cancer would be to put her down. 

 To euthanize her. 

 Gone, forever. 

 Just like that. 

 And even though you weren’t naïve enough to think that your cat would live forever, saying goodbye to her in such a way just felt downright… cruel, after everything that the two of you had been through together. But... what other choice did you have? It's not like anyone else was going to pay for the expensive treatment, and your insurance sure as hell didn't cover pet fees. And on top of all that, you couldn't expect Dr. Lee to drop his prices exponentially just for your specific case. That'd just be downright cruel to his other customers that paid the exact amount. 

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Dr. Lee’s words cut through your stormy thoughts. A sharp pain coursed through your broken heart, as you were forced to come to terms with the problem at hand. “If you can’t afford the treatment, then the only other alternative is… euthanasia.”

 You found yourself clutching onto his hand desperately, squeezing his fingers to death between yours, as you peered up at him through glassy eyes. “P-Please… just… just tell me you’ll do it. Because I-I don’t think I can handle it if-” Your voice seized in your chest at the thought of some stranger doing such a thing to your precious Nyx. It was already going to be extremely hard for you, but the thought of some other vet doing it just ripped your heart in two even more. 

 “We offer ethical euthanasia here, so, of course, I’ll do it,” Dr. Lee clutched a little harder on your hand, and the way that his warm, slender digits felt against yours did something to calm a rattling part inside of you. “Do you feel my hand? It is there, Y/N. And it will continue to be there throughout this entire process.” 

 The breath caught in your throat, forming a large lump there, as your eyes widened his way. Because there it was again, him calling you by your first name… with no ‘miss’ in front of it. 

 “T-Thank you… so much. I seriously don’t know what I’d do right now if it wasn’t for you and this wonderful clinic and all of the amazing staff here…” Your voice trailed off, as you felt the warmth of a flush creeping up into your cheeks. 

 “Yeah, well, that’s what we’re here for… to give as much support as we can to our clients.” Dr. Lee’s tone came out soft and quiet, it ghosted over the shell of your ear like an angel’s sweet whisper. 

 “I like it.” 

 You heard Dr. Lee take in a sharp breath at your disjointed words, but before he could ask the meaning behind them, you were talking again. 

 “You calling me by my first name, I mean… I like it, a lot, Dr. Lee.” Your eyes found him in the dim lighting of the room, and for a split second, you could’ve sworn that you saw… something flash deep in those chestnut-brown pupils. 

 But then all at once, it vanished, and he was giving you an easy smile, pearly white teeth on display. And pink, rosebud lips tugging up- wait, why were you thinking about his mouth? 

“Me too,” he said in that delicate way of his, just as he squeezed your palm once more, “I really like it… Y/N.” 

To be continued...

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[stayandcozy]

Paper Stars

Written by Stayandcozy.

Mature Themes Advised

SERIES MASTERLIST BELOW

Summary:

When Solana and Sasha, two strangers brought together by chance, receive a once in a lifetime time call that takes them across the world, they can hardly believe their luck. As they dive into promoting their new show, everything seems to be falling into place. But their normalcy is broken when they cross paths with a group of eight intriguing idols. The boys will surely let chaos loose into their world. They’ll also bring unexpected challenges, suffocating warmth, and even a new sense of belonging. As they spend time together, sparks begin to fly between some of the members and the two girls. But behind the scenes, people are plotting to tear it all down, determined to ruin Solana and Sasha’s careers and cut their time in Korea short.

Characters (UAW)

Characters (SKZ)

Chapter 0: Birds of…

Chapter 0: …A feather

Chapter 1: People, Places, Promotions

Chapter 2: People, Places, Promotions

Chapter 3: Always there (Coming Soon)

Chapter 4: Always watching (Coming Soon)

Chapter 5: The Hierarchy (Coming Soon)

Chapter 6: Forever the Villain (Coming Soon)

Chapter 7: Forever the Stranger (Coming Soon)

[mousieta]

Me, last year : I'll have more time once I'm done with my testing. Then I will be free to blog and stuff

Me, now, as a full blown Project Architect: why do I never have time??

Anyways, I miss this place. I really do. I havent been able to watch or read anything new in months. About all I've had time for is sleep and rereading old books I've already read a dozen times.

But idk... I wanna find a way to *do* things again so... what are y'all reading/ watching/ into? Any recs?

[taeiun]

tags.

navigation: 🪐　. . 　planet of love　!

shit posts / spam: (>。☆)　. . 　jun shut up 　?

my writing: 📹　. . 　by jun　!

caught in 4k moments: 🤍　. . 　lovezone　!

fic reblogs: 📽️　. . 　featured films 　!

queue: 🎧　. . 　on the air　!

inbox: 📞　. . 　you called　?

( ˘ ᵕ˘(˘ᵕ ˘ )　:　mutual / emoji anons.

ଘ (　ˊᵕˋ)　:　anon / username.

[hannie-dul-set]

its the girl from ur last ask u replied to I’m not gonna be anonymous cuz whatever idc anymore but

FRRR my friend used to make SKZ fanfics and people would constantly ask her for updates and get annoyed when she wouldn’t reply to asks. Literally she was busy w college, stressed out as fuck and random selfish ass strangers online would send passive aggressive asks all like ohh you haven’t updated in a while. She was lit going thru a lot and people were asking her to write smut?? (She literally said she wasn’t going to write for a while… ) anyways so my point is to anyone who sees this, my friend eventually got so fed up she deleted everything and quit. Do y’all really want hannie’s fics to be deleted? Do u guys WANT to drive her off this platform? If not then shut the fuck up and be greatful that she’s already writing for free. (btw I’m thinking of writing as well, if you have time, how did you start writing? What are some ideas you had? ((Not trying to steal 😭😭 just looking for inspo)) but if you’re busy don’t feel pressured at all to answer this girl ik u been busy)

love ur work girl

literally a lot of people won't get it unless they're on the receiving end of things!!!

anyhow, it's great to hear that ur planning on starting writing!!! me personally started off as a reader as well HAHAHAHHAHA and then decided that i wanted to try it out as well, but wasn't really confident in writing actual words so i tried out social media aus first.

the first few aus i have on here are absolute crap BWAHAHHAHAA i don't really remember how or why i transitioned into writing actual full length fics 😭😭 but my first longfic was also pretty darn bad!!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHA.

when i first started writing, most of my ideas were really mostly just cute, plotless scenarios. things that i thought would do well with the tumblr audience. but as the years went by, i started giving less of a fuck with what was marketable and decided to just vomit our whatever dumb/stupid/out of left field ideas that my brain would conjure and decided to roll with it HAHAHAHHAHAHA.

hftb was one of them. i wrote it during a time where the "loser" archetype wasn't really a thing (and wasn't popularized by sunjae BWAHAHAHHAHA) so i thought it would flop but wrote it regardless 😭😭 happy to find out that people ate that shit up anyway!!!!

[onegreenline]

sooo my skz girls au just needs one last smut scene and then it's done but i'm kinda wondering if i shouldn't just hold onto it until like...next year? when i'll hopefully have another atz longfic done

[sorikkung]

okay hey little rats who live in my air vents (this is how im affectionately addressing my followers) do any of you have some longfic recs for me. the longer the better honestly priority goes to polyfics and/or fics with a non-cisfem reader but ill still read those if the fics good. self plugs are totally okay too. groups can be skz atz txt or tbz!!

[taem-min-archived]

hello <3

i saw your post and i wanted to say that you're not in it alone. i'm a moot of yours and i'd say we're a pretty similar level (in terms of notes, followers etc) and as stupid as it is to compare ourselves on here, i feel like it could possibly (i hope) help to know that there are other people going through similar situations.

first of all, that post about wanting to reach 500 notes on a fic, i felt that on a spiritual level lmao. although i personally write longfics (not sure how it works on here with shorter ones), i can't seem to cross that 200/250 threshold and tbh, i'm happy if i even come close.

i feel like it's like that with a lot of people-you feel like only 5% of the people (followers) are truly interested in your work and interact with it. it's just the way tumblr works (and it's quite heartbreaking, honestly).

all i can say is stay strong, sarah! if you truly enjoy writing, you should honestly continue. i see your stories on my dashboard constantly-you work hard, you put out fics really often! as lame as it sounds, maybe try prioritizing your own works over requests (if you accept requests lmao).

and if you ever want to take a break, don't hesitate to do so! you're the owner of this blog lol and no one can tell you otherwise.

lots of love <3

(-> crispy-chan)

Hi jas! First of all, you are one of the best skz authors I know! I don't read your fics cus I don't read for skz members lmao but the few times I've skimmed through your fics they were really really good. But 200 notes! omg most of your fics I've seen have crossed that and honestly I'm not even halfway there .

But thanks a lot :( its nice to know you understand me so well! yeah i do work hard, sometimes i'm worried my inactivity is the reason people don't read my works so I try push myself as much as I can whilst maintaining my daily life. I try to improve my writing as much as I can but like you said, most of the time I'm worried I'm just stuck and not growing at all.

i dont want to be seen jealous or something, I'm definetly not jealous of them. In fact I'm in awe of them. Like oh my god they are so talented! And I feel am I really worth it?

But it's good to know I'm not alone 🙂

Yeah i do prioritize my works over requests but I think nowadays I'm prioritizing events and collabs more than my own. But then again, I signed up for those awesome ideas.

Once more thank you so much for this beautiful message I really appreciate it!

[honeypressed]

@basicc-daysicc uwu thank you so much bub!!! I hope you like this~~ it made me nostalgic bc of my longfic T^T

~

The salty air of the ocean kisses your lips and tangles your hair into knots, the midnight atmosphere of the beach feeling odd to how you know the beach. No more the bright sun, golden sand, loud laughter and dazzling turquoise; now, the moon glows softly, the sand shines silver, there is only quiet and the waves ripple a dark purple that hypnotizes you.

Still, all of this beauty only entrances you for a while. Because Lee Minho is sitting beside you, looking absolutely ethereal under the moonlight, and you’re struck speechless for several moments.

“You’re beautiful,” You say quietly, and Minho turns to look at you, and you can’t help but think gorgeous, gorgeous, I love you -

“I know,” Minho says, laughing, his laughter carried out into the ocean, “But coming from you, baby? Coming from the most beautiful person in the world? It’s an honour.” Your hands, once next to each other, are now laced together tightly, the grains of sand rough between your palms, and you once again gaze out to sea, casting as far as your eye would let you.

Minho brings up your hand and kisses the back of your hand gently, eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones, and your heart thuds.

“I keep falling in love with you,” You whisper, squeezing Minho’s hand, “Everyday. Every minute. Whenever you do cheesy things or dumb things. I keep finding things I love about you.” Staring into Minho’s eyes is like staring into the radiance of a thousand stars, yet you can’t look away, entirely captivated by him.

“And I,” Minho starts, “I love you so much I want to burst from it. I really, really do.”

The beach is so much prettier at night, you realise, leaning into Minho. A quiet kind of beautiful that makes you dizzy. You fall asleep to the steady swash of the waves and the thud of Minho’s heartbeat.

~

rb this post with an aesthetic + member of skz and i’ll write a drabble for you <3

[planet-dusk]

☆ raspberry sour ∘ b.c

after a few too many drinks at your boyfriend's party you decide to sleep it off in his room. inebriated, you take a wrong turn and end up in chan's bed instead. but fear not — he'll take good care of you...

─── ☆ pairing: bang chan x f!reader

─── ☆ length: 1.4k

─── ☆ warnings: noncon, somnophilia (yn passed out drunk), fingering, fantasies of breeding yn, unprotected sex, pet names: babygirl, name calling: slut

─── ☆ note: this is a rewrite of an old fic previously posted on this blog. 18+ minors dni. this work contains noncon, proceed with caution if the above warnings could be triggering to you. the characters don’t represent real idols; this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. fictional smut is not a reflection of real life ! always communicate with your partner and practice consensual and safe sex ‹33

─── ☆ skz masterlist ∘ all masterlists

© planet-dusk do not copy, translate or repost my works anywhere.

You're asleep. In his bed.

Chan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He must’ve had more to drink than he thought. It’s either that or he’s dreaming. 

But when he opens his eyes again you’re still there. You’re on your stomach, one leg stretched out and the other bent at the knee. Your head rests on your arms and the only visible movement is the slow rise and fall of your breathing. 

You look so peaceful. So pretty. 

Chan steps into his room and closes the door behind him. He doesn’t know why he locks it. Out of habit, perhaps. 

But something tells him the real reason. You. He pushes the thought away, deep down to the pit of his stomach, far from the unraveling edges of his conscience. 

The party is still going strong downstairs; he can hear the bass and the cheers from his friends. And while he didn’t have nearly as much to drink as you, Chan feels the titillating buzz of alcohol in his veins. It makes him bolder than usual. 

The right thing to do would be to leave and tell Minho you’ve wandered into the wrong room. Let your boyfriend carry you back to his own bed. 

But even before he steps closer Chan knows he’s already made up his mind. He’s not going to do the right thing. Not tonight. Not when you look so beautiful, spread out on his bed like a present. Like it’s his birthday. 

You’re stunning. He was already painfully aware even though he’s only seen you a handful of times when his roommate had you over. Never long enough to take a good look. Not without it feeling inappropriate. 

As if this is appropriate…but a quick look won’t hurt anyone, Chan thinks. And if the sounds you’re making when you’re with Minho are anything to go by, you’ve never seemed to mind an audience. Surely you know the walls are paper thin. Chan’s lost count of the amount of times he’s cummed to your moans and whimpers filling the apartment. 

He walks around the bed and takes in your features. Your makeup smudged a bit and your skirt has hiked up, barely covering the swell of your ass. 

You’re wearing pink lace panties. The same color as the drinks you’ve been drinking all night. Besides black, it’s his favorite color. 

His cock swells in his pants. 

Fuck. 

If only he could…

Chan palms himself over his jeans. He shouldn’t be looking at you like this. Shouldn’t be thinking about touching his roommate’s girlfriend. But his other hand reaches out before he can stop himself; fingers pressing against the pink fabric, right where your hole should be. 

What happened to just one quick look? Any semblance of self-control is slipping away from him. All he needs now is one touch. You would let him have this, wouldn’t you? You’ve always seemed like such a good girl. He knows you are. 

And he can be good for you, too. Make you feel good. 

He’s not sure if he’s imagining the throbbing of your pussy through the fabric but it turns him on even more. He traces the outline of your hole and trails his fingers down to massage your clit. With slow rubs of his index as not to rouse you, Chan’s surprised to find the material quickly dampening under his touch. 

When he applies a bit more pressure you stir and he freezes, panic flooding him at the thought of getting caught. Your eyelashes flutter and you spread your legs wider before stilling again. 

Chan curses under his breath. His heart pounds in his ears as realization hits him. His cock is painfully hard now, neglected in his pants. The wet patch on your panties is growing and Chan can’t hold back any longer. He needs to see your pretty cunt. 

He pulls the gusset aside, gulping at the sight of your soaked folds. He runs his fingers through them to wet them, plays with your clit, noticing the way your breathing quickens a little. 

“You like that, babygirl?” He whispers, barely audible. “Want some more?”

You let out a soft whimper when two fingers breach you, finding no resistance. Your slick drips over his hand and down his wrist. He toys with you for a while, obsessed with the way your greedy hole swallows his fingers. 

It’s addicting. And he needs more. He needs to feel your snug walls around him. He’s already fucking you with his fingers, what difference would his cock make now? 

Chan brings his hand up to his lips. You even taste delicious. So fucking sweet. He wishes he could bury his face between your cheeks and eat you out for hours. Suckle on your clit and bite your thighs until you’re begging him to stop. 

But he doesn’t have time, so he shoves his jeans down his legs and frees his thick cock. He drags it through your slit to wet it, circling your hole before pushing inside. You whimper again and he stills, brows knitted in worry. He doesn’t want to hurt you. Didn’t he prep you enough? You’re dripping and took his fingers so well —

Then you whine again, canting your hips a little as if to urge him on. 

Chan’s worry dissipates and he chuckles. Even while asleep your body reacts to him. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; he knew you’re a bratty little slut. He’s heard the tell-tale sounds of a good spanking mixed with your loud whimpering more than once. 

Now it’s his turn to feel your warm, wet cunt and Chan can’t believe his luck. He’s sure Minho would want you to feel good too. A pretty girl like you deserves to get fucked every day. 

He bites his lip to stop himself from moaning and starts moving with slow strokes. Your pretty little hole stretches around his cock so well. He can’t get enough of the sight, pulling out completely and watching you clench around nothing. 

He hasn’t even fucked you properly and your body already wants more. 

Chan feels so dirty about taking you like this. It’s wrong and it makes him so fucking hard. He hates how much he enjoys it. Even though he wishes he could fuck you while awake there’s something about using you like this that sends a rush of adrenaline through him unlike anything he’s ever felt before. 

He settles for a slow grind and his fingers find their way back to your clit. He supposes it doesn’t matter if you cum or not (even though he hopes this feels good for you, too) but your hole tensing around his cock whenever he touches the sensitive bud makes him lightheaded. 

You feel so fucking good. As if your body was made for him.

It takes all his strength to stay quiet and his thrusts are getting sloppier now. His fingers press into your hips and your heavy eyelids blink open slowly. Your eyes are glassy, staring into the distance.

“Minnie,” you slur, “s’good.” 

Chan doesn’t reply, tightening his grip instead so he can bury himself deeper between your walls. Your cunt clenches around him and you moan softly, drifting in and out of consciousness.

If you were to tilt your head back you’d see him. How would you react when you realize it isn’t your boyfriend who’s making you feel this good? Would you scream? Would you try to push him away? Or would you whimper and moan louder? 

The last possibility makes his cock twitch. His balls tighten and he pulls out just in time to jerk himself to completion. Chan’s smart enough to not cum inside (the cleanup would be a pain) even though he wishes he could…

He wants to fill you up. Mark you and breed you until his seed leaks out of your spent hole. Instead he spills all over your bare thighs, thick white ropes painting your skin. 

Gently, he wipes you clean with one of his old shirts. He tucks his softening cock away, puts your panties back in place and pulls your skirt down. 

Other than your smudged makeup you look presentable. Your breathing is steady and even as if nothing happened. 

Chan brushes a strand of hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ear. Your plush lips are parted slightly and there’s some drool on his pillow. How cute you are... His own lips curve into a smile and he kisses your temple.

Next time he’ll try your pretty mouth.

[just-bin-things]

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

In my head: star trek (oc x oc) officially jin x reader

Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

I try to participate in nano, I like the timeline

Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

Jump around but my most successful have been start to finish

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

I outline to the point of completion lol

What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

Quiet, dark, music in earbuds

If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

Probably around 2k maybe 3k

Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Actually finishing

Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

I bounce around songs but indie artists are great (KiNG MALA, James The Seventh, & Iniko to name a few)

Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

I prefer to write AUs but read canon

Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Writing dialogue is my jam

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Angst

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Enemies to lovers

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

Enemies to lovers (Idk if I have the skills to be able to do it w/o it being really toxic)

If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

A wise cracking one and one with actual survival skills

A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Hopefully the PI au which I'm turning into a script 🤌

What is your most underrated fic?

The one about my nightmares but it's a comedy

What fic are you most proud of?

My private investigator one

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

I don't have one. (Yes I'm being lazy)

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

Easy: villians

Hard: protagonists

What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

My oc from my first fic, shes gettin' her own story now!

What is the one fic that got away?

Oooh boyyyy - my first skz ensemble - ended up become a feature script tho

Have you cried while writing a fic?

Called coffee shop, about my experience with self h*rm

If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

My first fix on Wattpad (make it less cringy)

How did you come up with title for [x fic]?

I came up with "ex fuck buddies" bc I wanted a snappy title that would draw people in

Which idea came to you first in [x fic]?

I wanted it to be a Chan fic lol

Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?

Coming up with an actual end for the story

If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it?

Since the mc died it would probably be about the daughter and ex boyfriend of the mc

In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]?

Seungmin x hyunjin get married and get off drugs

Send me a word. If it’s in your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic.

I don't really understand this one so here's the synopsis for my latest project:

She's a quiet college girl trying to make ends meet at a strip club. He's an outgoing musician with a player past. An unlikely pair to be roommates. An even unlikelier pair to run a hitman business together.

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

A Harry Potter universe fic

Fics mentioned:

I took a really long break in between writing fics so here are the actually good ones

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

What is your most underrated fic?

What fic are you most proud of?

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

What is the one fic that got away?

Have you cried while writing a fic?

If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

How did you come up with title for [x fic]?

Which idea came to you first in [x fic]?

Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?

If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it?

In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]?

Send me a word. If it’s in your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic.

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬

part six of do you feel my hand? it is there. | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader is now his past client. drinking alcohol and getting drunk/tipsy is mentioned. things are starting to get suggestive in this one. also, smut is coming very soon. :))

word count: 3.0k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: these past few days have been real tough ones for me, but I thought I'd give you guys an update with this fic since I'm really excited to reveal the other parts to it. after I finish posting this series, I'm going to spend a few weeks working on finishing up my wip list. 🤓 and THEN- since my poll just finished, I've officially decided to start working on the felix longfic summer!au series after I complete everything else. also, I hope to open up my requests again within the next month or two, so please look forward to everything I've got planned! 🤭 also- please continue to support and love skz throughout this season of their new comeback... try to buy their albums/stream the new music if you can so that they have a chance to win at the year-end awards... let's strive for a mama win this year, you guys!!💞

🐈‍⬛ - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

 The first thing you noticed when you awoke was the quietness. Your ears weren’t used to the silence, as your mind had been crammed with so many voices and shouts and laughter and blasting music for hours on end. 

 But all at once, the stark change was downright unnerving. 

 That, and the fact that you couldn’t feel the warm presence from before at your side anymore. 

 Cracking your eyes open slowly, you came to the stark realization that the living room was… empty. There wasn’t a single sign of life anywhere. The floor was picked up of any sort of mess - the game controllers put away, the bags of chips and candy and cans of beer all having disappeared. The tv was still on, showcasing a dark ambiance screen saver of a fireplace. The living room curtains were closed shut tightly, blocking you from catching a glimpse of the moon just outside. Other than that, the only light filtering into the room came off to the side, where the hallway lead into the adjoining kitchen. 

 You threw the warm blanket off of your legs, adjusting your dress and running a hand through your hair as you made your way to the only remaining light source. Like a moth to a flame. You didn’t know how long you had slept, but seeing as it was still dark out - you noticed the dim sky through a window as you passed through the hallway - you assumed only an hour or two. Surprisingly, your rest had helped to stave off your hangover, and you weren’t feeling nearly as tipsy as you were right before you dozed off. 

 As you neared a small table that was placed in the hallway, you read that it was approaching three in the morning. Damn, you had surely overstayed your welcome. 

 Upon stepping into the kitchen’s threshold, you came face-to-face with a busy figure at the counters. With a proud back and messy, black locks. He was humming a low tune to himself, as he wiped down the pristine marble with a damp cloth. 

 “Hi,” is all you could manage, voice coming out a little scratchy from disuse and the dryness from all the alcohol. 

 He turned around on you, face lighting up with surprise. He didn’t expect you to be awake, it would seem. “Hi yourself,” he said, as he finished polishing up the counters and made to throw the towel in a nearby basket that you assumed held dirty laundry. “I was just going to go out there and check up on you.” 

 You toed at the ground, having taken off your heels early on in the night. Clearing your throat in the sudden awkwardness that had sprung up between the two of you in the past few hours, you said, “When did the guys leave?” 

 “Just a little while ago, I’ve been cleaning up since then- they always leave a bomb for me to repair after a party like this.” Minho was leaning against the farthest counter, his eyes trained on the nearby marble that he had just cleaned. Like he couldn’t stand the sight of you. Like you were annoying him by just your presence alone. 

 You swallowed around the dryness in your throat, already feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the complete one-eighty that he had taken in regards to you. 

 It hurt. 

 It hurt really fucking bad. 

But then, you found yourself talking, and before you even realized it, the words were flowing out of your mouth, unbidden and unstoppable. “I-I’m sorry I dozed off- I totally overstayed my welcome…” 

 Minho pulled his eyes away from the kitchen counter then, leveling you with those warm irises of his that seemed to soften just a tiny bit. His brows furrowed at your distressed state, lips falling open slightly in confusion. “Don’t worry about it, you’re always welcome here.”

 “No, I think coming here was a bad idea,” you started, the tears finally breaking free and racing down either of your cheeks. Your face felt like it had been lit on fire, as you flushed violently from the embarrassment and humiliation of it all. “I-I sorry, I just… I should go-”

 And you were turning out of the kitchen then, down the hallway, towards the front door. Your little sniffles rang out against the walls that slowly felt like they were closing in on you, your heart echoing in your ears as the blood rushed through your system. 

 You didn’t hear your name being called out until you were stopped dead in your tracks by fingers clutching onto one of your wrists. They pulled and pulled, desperately and quietly. 

 “I’m sorry,” he said, voice strained and low in his throat. The tears made your vision blurry, as you stared in front of you, taking in the small painting of a cat that was placed near his front door. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m-”

 You let out a tiny scoff, shaking your head, trying to clear your mind from all of the murky thoughts that ran through it. “You can’t even look at me. You haven’t been able to all night, so just… just forget it. I knew it was a horrible idea coming tonight anyway, I should’ve listened to myself.” When you tried to yank your wrist out of his grasp, he only clutched on tighter, fingers digging into your palm. 

 “Please, don’t say that, I loved having you here tonight- everyone did.” 

 “Yeah, but you sure didn’t act like it.” 

 “And I’m sorry for being such an asshole. I- it’s just been really hard for me, that’s all.” 

 You turned around, finally catching sight of his face. Cheekbones dusty with shadows, lips pressed into a wavering line, chest falling in short, anxious breaths. And then you noticed his outfit, for the millionth time that night. You couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it back in the kitchen, but the zipper on his tight black shirt had fallen even further down his chest than ever before, teasing and teasing at what lay underneath. 

 Swallowing at that, you met his gaze. He was a little bit taller than you, and you realized how closed-in the space around you felt… practically cornered in the hallway, near his door but not too near. “What’s been hard? What are you even talking about, Dr. Lee?” 

 He ran a frustrated hand through his midnight tresses, heaving a large sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, almost like it pained him to say his next words. “First, you suddenly disappear from everything- no more phone calls, no more visits, no more glimpses of you passing by during the work week. Then, you unexpectedly show up again at that cafe and try your hardest to avoid me altogether. And then, you appear right in front of my eyes, looking like-”

 Stopping himself, he bit down on his plush bottom lip, his eyes running down the length of you. Practically undressing you with his stare alone. And just that sight alone caused you to squirm in your spot. Lit a match deep inside of you. 

 When his eyes locked with yours again, you found enough courage to speak again and you somehow recovered from his blatant perusal of your body. “What? How did my showing up tonight change things?” Without thinking, your hands were traveling up the front of him, landing on either of his broad shoulders and pulling him a little closer to you. 

 He swallowed, his stare practically devouring you whole as he allowed you to draw him near. So that you could catch his scent - of warm chamomile and sweet cookies. “I thought I was doing better- thought I was strong enough. But then you showed up tonight looking so fucking ethereal - like an angel rising from a glorious throne - and I just… I couldn’t take it any longer,” you felt your lungs constrict at his confession, heart thumping wildly against your ribcage. “But I know what you think, that… that I’m just your local vet and nothing more and-”

 “Y-You think I look like an angel?” You asked, voice turning breathless. From the nearness of him, from his words. But especially, the things he was telling you. They sounded so sweet on his tongue, so whole and flawless. 

 Minho nodded, slowly, staring down at you with those coffee-coloured eyes of his. “But you’re more than just that. You’re… this unobtainable goddess that I just- can’t get enough of.” 

 “I wore it for you.” 

 A beat of silence, a slight intake of breath, and then,

 “What?” 

 “I said… this outfit, I wore it tonight only for you and you alone.” 

 You heard movement. Limbs shifted and the air surrounding you crackled with tension. Then, fingers were dancing underneath your chin, and a warm palm was pressing into one of your cheeks. You leaned into the touch, peering up at him. 

 Marveling at the way that his mouth hung open slightly in apparent shock, as his mind slowly began to process your words. His eyes raced over your face, again and again. Like if he peered at you long enough, he’d be able to tell whether you were lying or not. 

 But then a sardonic kind of smirk spread across his lips, as he canted his head to one side and raised a dark, perfectly-manicured eyebrow your way. “Well, that’s just comical because I wore this for you tonight... but, did you know that mint is my favorite color?”

 Your eyes widened at that and your heart skipped a beat at the realization that you had worn his favorite color.

 To a party that he had hosted.

 At his place. 

 The implications that you hadn't even known you were making by your outfit alone were beyond you.

 Your focus landed on his attire again - for what felt like the millionth time already. At the loose, dark cargo pants and the matching shirt that was just begging to be taken off.  

 Feeling yourself mimicking his expression, you reached out and played with the silvery zipper that was positioned halfway down his chest. “I like it- a lot. Couldn’t keep my eyes off of you all night.” 

 A dry laugh escaped him, and you watched, as his pupils brightened with a certain kind of heat. “That much I could tell…” 

 And before you could even grasp what was happening, his touch against your cheek was moving, fingers traveling over to your mouth. Tracing the outline of it, before his thumb played with your bottom lip, pulling it out slightly from the way that it had been held between your teeth. 

 The panic began to rise inside of you then, as you began to understand what was happening. What he was about to do. Why he was leaning into you ever so slowly. 

 Your hands were on his chest in an instant, stopping him from going any further. His fingertips burned on your flesh - scorching your chin and lips in tandem. “W-We shouldn’t…” You gasped out, voice turning strangled from how badly you wanted everything. Him, and his love, and his attention. It hurt you to your core, to push back from the very thing that you had been pining over for so very long. 

 “Why?”

 “B-Because… I was your client and things were always supposed to remain professional and you-” 

 His thumb swiped at your bottom lip again, tantalizing and tempting you all at the same time. And for a moment, you almost gave into your inhibitions and allowed him to draw nearer to you. But then you remembered who he was- and who you were. And how such opposites could never mesh well together. Perhaps things would be okay for a little while, but gradually, over time, mistakes would happen, promises would be broken, and you’d be back at square one all over again… soul torn into two pieces from the harsh breakup of a relationship that you had thought would last forever. 

 “What, Y/N? I’m what?” He asked, a slight harshness dripping into the words. Almost like he had heard such sentiments before. Almost like, all of the women he had been with in the past had been in your same position, at one point or another. 

 “You’re so much better than me - you’re this incredible, famous, successful businessman and doctor and I’m just… I’m just a woman who lives in a shitty apartment in a sketchy part of town because I barely make breadcrumbs and survive from paycheck to paycheck.”

 The finger tracing across your mouth stopped then, as he took in your words. And as much as you wanted to avoid his gaze at that moment, you found that you couldn’t. His stare was like twin magnets, and your soul was a piece of metal. Irrevocably drawn, no matter what you did. So you caught his intense regard, the way that his pupils darkened and practically bored into your soul wholly. 

 Like he was ripping the very fabric of your being apart, as he studied your form and who you were, and what you had just revealed to him. 

 So there it was. 

 You had spoken your biggest fear out into the open, where he would consequently drop you like a hot, rotten potato because ‘he doesn’t date broke girls.’ 

 “And you think that just because you make less money than me - just because you don’t live an ideal, rich life, that you don’t deserve me?” His palm was moving across your face as he spoke the words in a hushed whisper. So that only you could hear him, in that intimate, swarthy corner of his apartment’s hallway. His fingers threaded through your hair, tucking a few of the loose strands behind one of your ears. “That you don’t deserve my love?” 

 You swallowed thickly, shoving all of the heartache and arousal to the deepest parts of your mind. 

 Because truly, what was even going on? 

 Were you living in a dream right now? 

 Did Dr. Lee Minho just confess that he’s in love with you? 

It was all too much for your slightly-tipsy mind to process, and suddenly, your legs were turning shaky, melting into a pile of jelly on the ground. You were swaying forward, and if it hadn’t been for Minho catching you at that moment, you would have toppled onto the cold tiled ground like a complete fool. 

 You peered up at him with wide eyes, mouth falling open slightly in the shock of it all. In the way that he held onto you so completely - so firm yet delicate all at once. His face was contorted into a mix of sadness and… anger. 

 “You’re just this… amazing guy, who seems untouchable and all-knowing. And- and practically every woman in the city wants you at this point. I see them, I hear them… when they come into the clinic, they ogle you and talk about their newest outfits to try and make you fall for them. And I just- I can’t compete with all of that. I only have a few outfits that I wear daily that look decent enough, and this dress is something I’ve had since my Freshman year of university and I-”

 “None of that matters to me, Y/N,” Minho said, breaking through your incoherent ramblings and dumping an ice-cold bucket of water on your entire being. He never broke your gaze, as his arms that were still holding you moved in fluidly. And then, you were being pressed up against the nearby wall, with one of his palms clutching at your waist and the other threading through your locks. His fingers gripped gently, pulling at the roots. He moved closer still, wedging a knee between either of your legs so that he was but a mere hairsbreadth away from your face. “I only want you. I don’t care about the paychecks and the pomp and the jewels that all of those other women can offer. I just want you… I want all of you, even the ugly and sad and broken bits.” 

 You felt the tears stinging at the corners of your eyes before you even spoke again. “Do you really mean that? Are you truly sure that you don’t want a woman who lives the same lavish lifestyle as you?” You asked, shoulders shaking from the sharp inhale that you took upon his proximity and everything that he was telling you. 

 He flashed you a tiny grin, fingers resting at the nape of your neck and messaging gentle circles into the skin there. “I’m more sure about this than I’ve been about anything in my entire life.” He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours in an intimate kind of way. “But one word from you - one sign that you don’t feel the same way - and I’ll be gone from your life forever.” 

 “No,” you blurted out in a strangled voice, even surprising yourself with how fast the word slipped from your lips. “No- I want this. I’ve wanted this so badly for so long and… and I just, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you feel the same. That you care about me to the extent that I do for you.” 

 Minho’s warm breath fanned against your nose, as he grunted out a quiet laugh. You turned your gaze up then, finding the way that his eyes were alight with a myriad of feelings… but the one that was the most potent was love. 

 And as clear as day, you realized that all of the times in the past that he had looked on at you with such soft eyes, he was silently conveying his love for you.

 “Can I kiss you now?” It felt like the world was dropping out from right under your feet, as you took in all of him. The way that his black hair was disheveled from the long night and the way that a certain kind of sparkle now shined on every feature of his face. 

 You canted your head to one side, giving him your best easy smile. “Please- I thought you’d never ask.” 

 And then he was leaning into you - finally - and all of the other worries and hurts and feelings leftover inside of you all but dissipated, as the two of you fit together like two immaculate puzzle pieces made to be conjoined.

 Mouth against mouth, tongue swiping against tongue. And everything was blissful and effervescent and otherworldly. 

To be continued...

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[fmradio-johnnystation]

Writing wrap up of 2018

Wooooooooah 2018 passed so quickly?? ngl when this year started, I just wanted it to be over. But this year I got back into writing around May and I’m so grateful that I did! So here’s a little summary of my writing year.

Stats:

List of Fics Posted:

The game begin ; NCT ; Jungwoo/Lucas. 

Red as blood and green as seaweed ; Stray Kids ; Hyunjin/Seungmin Glow ; Stray Kids ; Hyunjin-centric Love is ; Stray Kids ; Hyunjin/Felix Storm and stars ; Stray Kids ; Felix/Jisung, Chan/Minho, Changbin/Hyunjin & Jeongin/Seungmin Of detention and makeout sessions ; Stray Kids ; Felix/Jisung Of locker rooms kisses ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Woojin Of studios and nose kisses ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Jisung Of palm kisses and chipped nailpolish ; Stray Kids ; Felix/Woojin Guess how much I love you ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix Of warm beds and morning coffee ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Minho Sharp fangs and blood stained hands ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Seungmin Dishes, vaccuum cleaners and soft kisses ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Woojin Twist and turn, moonchild ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Jeongin For as long as I am breathing ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix I’ll hold you as you bleed ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Hyunjin Take my hand and never let go ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix/Woojin Hocus pocus ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix Fuzzy socks, ugly sweaters and sweet ‘I love you’s ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix/Woojin 31 days of kisses ; Stray Kids ; multiple ships Twisted Souls ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix [Unannounced skz exchange fic]* ; Stray Kids ; TBA

*WIll update with tag and name later when the fic is announced.

Total number: 22 Total word count: 228.442 Ship/character breakdown:

I always try to vary the ships I’m writing to give content to all ships, even the small ones. But over this year I’ve come to love Chanlix a lot, so the ship I’ve been writing the most is Chanlix, Jilix being a close second.

Characters that had the main focus:

My top 3 of 2018 is: 1. Chan, who’s the main in 13 fics 2. Felix, who’s the main in 9 fics 3. Hyunjin, who’s the main in 6 fics

I’m obviously aussie line biased. Also I’ve realized that I really enjoy writing Chan for some reason.

Specifics:

Best/worst title?

Best: For as long as I am breathing. I have no idea why I like it so much, maybe it’s because I like the au so much but it just makes me happy when I see the title.

Worst: Red as blood and green as seaweed because ?? what ?? but since it was just a short thing I’m not gonna bother it hdhd

Best/worst first line?

Best: The moon was bathing the lush, green forest in its sickly white light as it slowly rose on the dark sky. - From Twist and turn, moonchild. I just really liked this one for some reason. It sets the mood really nicely imo. Worst: “You look nervous,” his father noted as their carriage was making its way towards the castle. - From For as Long as I am breathing. This is just... uGH like I don’t really hate it, it’s just that I wrote it just to get started with the whole fic and then I never went back to change it and it just feels kind of awkward.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The stories of the creature so twisted and the soul so kind. - From Twisted souls. I just really like this one, unclear why really. But I really enjoyed the last two paragraphs of this fic.

Worst: “Thank you for being my bodyguard.” - From Twist and turn, moonchild. Because... what? why and uGh no. I struggled with wrapping this fic up because I wanted to keep it short and I guess I just pulled smth out of my a ss to just end it.

Best/worst summary?

Best: This is the story about a creature so twisted by evil, who found their way home. - From Twisted souls. I really liked this one. Because it sort of gave some of the plot away, as a summary probably should do, but also kept to the more poetic vibe I went with for this fic.

I also really like: The sun rose, painting the sky a beautiful pink as it bathed the landscape in its warm light. In the comfort of his home, their home, Woojin awoke slowly, surrounded by nothing but love and warmth. - From Take my hand and never let go. Simply because this is one of few summaries that I actually wrote specifically to be summaries.

Worst: Vampire!Chan & Witch!Felix in a very domestic setting. - From Hocus pocus. I don’t really have a summary that I really dislike so I’ll just put this one here simply because it just stares the content and it’s pretty boring.

Favorite 5 lines from anywhere?

1. “You know what would be even better?” Felix asked and Chan hummed, lips still pressing against Felix’s skin and his hand came to rest on Felix’s thigh. “If you married me this winter.” - From For as long as I am breathing.

2. “I’ll chase the fear and the pain away, love,” he promised as Hyunjin let out a choked sob. - From I’ll hold you as you bleed.

3. “You’re no longer wilting away,” Felix’s whispered, stroking the back of his hand over Chan’s cheek. - From Twisted souls.

4. “And then they lived happily ever after,” he said, pressing his lips against Felix’s. - From Storm and stars.

5. But he was getting better. - From Glow.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Considering that I wrote 700 words last year, so for me to write over 200k... that was very unexpected.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Stray kids because 1. I didn’t stan them last year and 2. I barely wrote anything last year.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

I don’t... I don’t really know. All my three longfics are special to me but I think For as long as I am breathing or Twisted Souls takes the prize as my favorite... I think I’m gonna have to say For as long as I am breathing.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

The most popular must have been Storm and Stars, but its also the oldest of my multichaptered fics. 31 days of kisses and For as long as I am breathing are both closing in on Storm and stars when it comes to the amount of hits.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

TWISTED SOULS. But also like, its just recently been completed (and I know some people dont read unfinished fics), its a pretty underrated ship (so I guess not a lot read fics about them) and the tags + the word count might be a bit intimidating.

Story that could have been better?

[Redacted] could definitely have been better. I didn’t manage to get a full grasp of how I wanted the plot until it was maybe a bit too late and it ended up super rushed.

Saddest story?

Twisted souls probably. It deals with some pretty heavy things and yeah, it’s the saddest thing I’ve written this year.

Most fun?

hM.... Most of my fics are pretty serious or just straight out fluff and not really funny in that way. But... maybe Hocus pocus ? Unsure but that’s the funniest of my fics lmao.

Story with single sweetest moment?

For as long as I am breathing has a bunch of insanely sweet moments and I just love that au.

Hardest story to write?

Twisted souls but that’s mainly because of the fight scenes. I’m pretty bad at action so that was a challenge.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

For as long as I am breathing... That was insane. The words just came to me like poOF and it was so easy to write for me... why is very very unclear.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don’t... think it did no. Not what I can come to think of.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I tried writing action, but that’s more of a challenge than a risk I guess. I don’t think I took any risks per say but I challenged myself a little with action. I’ve also tried to work on my descriptions, both nature and clothing. Not a risk, but a challenge.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Wips I really want to finish: - Sequel to For as long as I am breathing - “Suffer suffer scream in pain” aka a gore piece I’m working on - A new merboy fic

General goals - Get better at descriptions - Work on writing action scenes - Be a bit better at editing - Write around 300k - Start working on my own original piece

That was everything... I think! 2018 has been an amazing year for me, writing wise, but I’m a bit sad I didn’t get back to it earlier. However, the response I’ve gotten this year has been amazing  and I don’t have enough works to express my gratitude.

Thank you!

[fruti2flutie]

also

1) CANT WAIT TO READ UR SEUNGBIN HNNNNG

2) wolfchan pumpkin was so cute ur skills are amazing i’m so sorry for ur loss tho (but u fed wolves? wolf on wolf crimes???)

3) LOVE ALL UR AU IDEAS!! I TRULY HOPE U DO WRITE THE ROYALTY AU BC IT SOUNDS SWEET and fun. and i love a slowburn. but also HAIKYUUUUUUUUU SOBS AT U. it’s been two years i’m still thinking about them (hq)

1) i have surpassed 40k & finally settled on a title!!!! my goal is to at least post ch1 before 2022 ends but then i skimmed ch1 & hated it so this is my writer's mood rn

2) i legitimately watched a squirrel in the act of chomping on my wolf chan & all i could do was 🧍🏻‍♀️ bc it was completely my fault for leaving it outside so early kdjskdjsks rodents run rampant in my neighborhood 🥲

3) royalty au...... i come up with this type of au for nearly fandom i write for but have never gone thru with it....... i've never completed a multipair/alternating pov longfic but skz...... skz is trying my hand.......... and i just love characters who are from opposite worlds falling in love :( ALSO HQ *foaming at the mouth* MY FAV SERIES!!!!!! yamaguchi is my freckled boy!!!!! and vball is legit my fav sport, i LOVE!!!!!! someone who isn't me needs to write ambidextrous OH minho for me, he's my dream 🥺