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asmo-baby5 · 4 years ago

Text

Burned

Request: @seerachii-art

Description: Mc had gotten very used to the Devildom and would wander around by themself now. They had pacts with the seven highest ranking demons right after the Prince himself and they were close friends with the angels, the powerful sorcerer, and Barbatos and Diavolo themselves. They never accounted for a lower ranking demon wanting to attack them for these relationships.

CW: mentions of burns, slight gore (not a lot)

Lucifer-

•he had gone out looking for Mc after they never showed up for dinner.

•he was very pissed that they went out alone, but he assumed if they really needed help they would call or use their pact to summon him.

•he walked through the Devildom with a very calm demeanor.

•of course, that was right up until he actually saw them.

•Mc was sitting outside of RAD with Barbatos hovering over them like a worried mother.

•"Mc, it is past time for dinner. What are you doing still at..."

•his voice faded out as Mc looked up at him.

•they were holding a damp towel over half their face and tears were flowing freely out of their open eye.

•his normal calm demeanor gave way to an eerie calm.

•"what happened?"

•his voice was low and made Mc flinch away from him.

•they looked so pathetic...

•Barbatos tried to explain what happened but he looked straight at Mc, waiting for their recount of events.

•"he was saying, saying bad things about you." They somehow got out through all the crying.

•lucifer was starting to fill in the blanks himself, but he still needed to assess the damage in order to decide what punishment would befit a lower demon who dared to harm this human.

•Barbatos helped Mc to gently pull the towel away from their face and show Lucifer the large burn covering over their eye.

•the cold towel had stopped the skin from pulling away from their face more than it already had.

•needless to say that calm demeanor quickly turned into burning hot (no pun intended) anger.

•with the help of Barbatos, who had just so happened to be leaving RAD at the time Mc was attacked, Lucifer was able to get them home.

•he offered, more than once, to fly back but they refused so he settled on just carrying them back.

•every fiber of his being wanted to go after the demon that harmed Mc, but he knew he had to get them home and settled before he could even think about leaving their side again.

•Mc refused any magical treatment, so Lucifer took them back to the human world for medical treatment.

•they ended up with a scar over the eye they had unfortunately lost sight in.

•everytime Lucifer saw that scar he'd get very irritated and would be stuck to Mc's side up until he physically could not have them with him for work.

•would pass them onto Simeon so he could keep an eye on them because he didn't trust any of his brothers to keep them completely out of harms way.

•the demon who hurt them was currently (and for the next few centuries) being used as a chew toy for Cerberus.

Mammon-

•rarely let's Mc out of his sight,

•so when they somehow manage to give him the slip one day he starts to freak out, rightfully so.

•not only that but his pact mark was starting to heat up, that only happened when Mc was in trouble.

•he retraces their steps from that day hoping to find Mc at one of the places they had visited.

•he smells them before he actually sees them.

•a mix of tears, sweat, and burnt flesh drew him towards a corner just outside of RAD.

•Mc was holding a sopping wet cloth up to their cheek and was wiping at the tears falling down their face with their free hand.

•every so often they would grimace as they moved the cloth around.

•Mammon was frozen in place looking at his human crying and shaking.

•he could practically feel their pain and their fear.

•he snapped out of it when he caught a glimpse of what was under the cloth.

•"Mc, who the hell burned ya?"

•he tried to keep calm, but let's be honest, being calm when the one person he loved above others was hurt was not exactly easy.

•"who. Burned. You?" His tone dropped to a threatening low growl.

•when Mc flinched at his tone he did calm down a bit though.

•he had to take care of them first before looking for revenge.

•when Mc explained that they were cornered by two lower demons and then lightly burned before they ran away, Mammon had to literally fight to keep from growling.

•it was bad enough for Mc to be attacked, but to be cornered by two demons was the most cowardly thing he had ever heard.

•when he checked the burn his heart clenched.

•there was a good chunk of flesh missing from their cheek.

•he flew them home and tried to convince them to get it magically treated so it wouldn't take as long and there'd be no scar, but Mc refused.

•he didnt leave their side after that incident.

•if you thought Mammon was possessive before, just wait until you see him now.

•he sleeps in Mc's room

•walks with them to school

•constantly texts them when in separate classes

•and goes with them wherever after school

•he doesn't trust anyone else with Mc's wellbeing.

•seeing the scar on their cheek ups his protectiveness and he will follow them around like a puppy.

Levi-

•he knew something was wrong when Mc never showed up for the new episode of an anime they were watching together.

•he was immediately anxious but tried to reason that maybe they were just caught up doing homework or maybe getting snacks and Beel cornered them for the food etc etc.

•yeah, his reasoning quickly turned into overthinking.

•he was about to go looking for them when suddenly he felt a pit in his stomach.

•he could just feel that something in the House of Lamentation was wrong.

•he opened his door only to be met with panicked shouts from floor to floor and the sound of running footsteps.

•like he thought, something was wrong.

•"Leviathan!"

•angry Lucifer shouts were coming from downstairs, so thats where he headed to see what was so wrong.

•he stopped in his tracks though as the view of Mc curled into a ball on Mammon's lap with a towel over their face entered his field of vision.

•he was supposed to be looking after them and the pit in his stomach only grew as he watched Mammon make very small and soft movements with Mc, something he never did ever.

•"Mc...?"

•Levi's voice was small as he got closer and could finally smell it,

•the burnt flesh on Mc's face being held together by the cold towel.

•he almost gagged, and would have if Lucifer didn't suddenly grab his shoulder pulling his senses away from the smell and sight.

•"where were you!?"

•is all Lucifer had to ask for Levi to realize that Mc got hurt,

•they got hurt on his watch,

•he couldn't protect them.

•"I- I'm ok, okay." Mc had stuttered out, the pain made it hard to string words together

•it took a moment for Levi to compose himself, and even when he did outwardly he was an utter MESS inside.

•do-dont lie, Mc..." he slowly made his way over to them, but kept his distance from them.

•they got hurt because he wasn't competent enough,

•there was no way he could let himself ever indulge in their presence after this.

•he would of course take revenge against whoever dared to hurt Mc,

•but when they reached out and gently held onto Levi's hand, their's still trembling,

•he finally decided that being with them was the only place he wanted to be.

•as much as he wanted to absolutely decimate whoever hurt them, Mc needed him there more,

•and his Henry always came first.

•besides, he was fairly certain Lucifer was already making preparations to take care of the demon.

Satan-

•he was out with Mc looking for some new books from a bookstore that just opened.

•the two got separated for barely two minutes,

•but it was more than enough time for a group of demons to walk over and taunt them.

•Mc's already poor relationship with the other demons in the Devildom had recently got worse.

•its not like Satan didn't know this,

•he was hyper aware of the fact Mc was being targeted more often by lower demons for petty jabs.

•that's why losing them in a new store caused anxiety to creep into his body and sit like a rock in the pit of his stomach.

•Mc had expressed their fear of these demons (cowards, as Satan kindly referred to them) trying something more than jabs,

•so he felt very protective over them since then, wanting them to feel safe when they were with him.

•But safe was the exact opposite of what they were now.

•Satan quickly found Mc, but he also witnessed one demon slap them,

•hard.

•hard enough that they left a burnt handprint scarred onto Mc's cheek.

•Satan could barely process what had happened.

•before he knew it his vision had gone red and he could feel a low growl coming from deep in his gut.

•he was about to go after the demons who did this but Mc stopped him with a whimper that immediately brought him back.

•he wasn't really the most calm all the time,

•but in a crisis he was the best demon to go to because he could keep a surprisingly cool head.

•once his temper had cooled down enough for him to stop clenching both his jaw and his fists, he set to work caring for them.

•As he took the time to properly dress the wound the human way, Mc explained to him what happened.

•the group apparently confronted them about Satan's reputation.

•he was once known as the cruelest and scariest demon right after Lucifer,

•but apparently rumors had started to spread that he had become soft.

•many demons blamed Mc for this change because they had a pact with him and Satan was most definitely not known for having pacts with anyone.

•as he listened to this his anger started to spike again, but he pushed it back down enough to swiftly carry the Mc home.

•he didnt want to have to rely on Lucifer for anything, but only he could come and go between the human world and the Devildom,

•and Mc needed burn treatment in an environment that would promote healing for humans.

•once he knew Mc was being well taken care of though, he finally let his anger rise and bubble at the surface.

•he got a pretty good look at the demons who hurt Mc, and Satan NEVER forgot a face.

•once the Mc had come back, the scar left by the demon made Satan's rage come back anew every time.

•he even requested that Asmo try any and all facials and treatments that could get rid of scars.

•and as for the group of demons?

•well,

•let's just say,

•you should never make the Avatar of Wrath your enemy...

Asmo-

•he and Mc were on a date.

•clothes shopping, tea, sweets, spa, and hairdresser.

•everything was going great,

•Asmo was having the most perfect time being with Mc for so long without his brothers interfering.

•that is, up until their hair appointment.

•the two were separated for a bit because they each needed different treatments done to their hair.

•Asmo didn't think much of it.

•he had taken Mc to this particular hairdresser many times already, so he never thought anything bad could possibly happen to them.

•he was proven wrong when a scream came from the other side of the building,

•the area where Mc was.

•Asmo shot up out of his chair and practically teleported to where they were.

•what he saw made this normally pretty calm demon's blood boil.

•one of the workers was bowing and apologizing repeatedly as Mc looked at them dazedly.

•but what really got to him was the intern hiding behind a corner, laughing.

•"so this is funny, is it?"

•he had snuck up behind them and asked, his voice unusually low.

•"this particular human is under the complete protection of Lord Diavolo, would you like to explain to him why there is now a burn covering half their face?"

•the intern paled at that and shook their head.

•"I would not think so. Now explain to me how this happened."

•the intern explained that they dipped the cloth that goes on Mc's face in scalding hot water.

•they knew Mc was a human and they wanted to test their limits,

•but they adamantly maintained that they never intentionally harmed Mc.

•Asmo was furious, especially because this happened in a place where he was only a few feet away.

•but he did give up on grilling the intern, deciding he'd give their name over to Diavolo and Lucifer later, in favor of comforting Mc.

•they were coming out of their daze but that meant the pain was starting to set in.

•Asmo was able to carry them out of the shop and quickly home before they could scream again,

•or cry.

•he would definitely go on a rampage if Mc started crying and killing a demon in broad daylight was not a good look for his cute image.

•he informed Lucifer what happened and trusted he would then take it to Diavolo.

•Asmo carried Mc to his room and set them in his low hanging seat so he could tend to their burn.

•thankfully it wasnt bad enough to be cause for major concern,

•but it was bad enough that Asmo was worried about some scarring.

•he was able to clean the skin around the burn and then apply a few different treatments to lessen the scarring process.

•he promised to use all kinds of facials on Mc, once they were feeling up to it, so the scars would heal quickly.

•once Mc was taken care of, he couldn't even think of leaving their side,

•so he opted to lie down on his bed with them.

•Mc fell asleep rather quickly, the trauma making them exhausted.

•Asmo couldn't fall asleep for a while though as he spent time blaming himself for the injury.

•he would never, ever, forget this day...

Beel-

•he was out to eat with Mc as usual.

•there was an all you can eat buffet that had just opened up and Beel was all willing to pay for both of their meals if Mc went with him.

•of course they did.

•it is way too hard to say no to Beel.

•while he was on his fifth plate of food, Mc wandered of to the bathroom for a small break.

•they accidentally ran into a group of demons on the way there and got into a small altercation.

•they started badgering Mc and complaining about how the nicest demon brother was no longer able nor willing to hang out with them because he'd rather be with Mc.

•it was a small, petty, argument that unfortunately ended up in a small burn that ate through the first and second layer of skin on Mc's cheek.

•the demon that did it freaked out because they knew humans were weak by my god they're way too weak!

•the group ran away, out of the restaurant, leaving Mc staring wide eyed at the floor, the pain from their cheek slowly starting to register.

•they walked calmly back to the table to grab Beel.

•"B-Beel, Beel, we need to, to leave." They had stuttered out.

•the pain was making it hard to form sentences.

•"Mc, I can get a free meal if I finish this..."

•Beel's sentence had faded off as he finally looked up.

•Mc's eyes were glazed over from the pain and blood was dripping down from the pretty sizeable hole in their cheek.

•the big demon was up and out of the restaurant in no time, carrying Mc with him.

•he didnt really know what to do in the moment but he did know Mc needed help, fast.

•he went to Solomon first because his magic is the first thing Beel's panicked mind landed on.

•Solomon immediately went to work cleaning and bandaging the wound.

•because of his medicinal herbs, he had learned a fair amount of human medicine and knew how to care for a burn.

•Beel refused to leave their side, only doing so when Solomon convinced him to call Lucifer and inform him of what happened.

•After Solomon had taken care of the burn, he talked Beel into letting Mc stay at Purgatory Hall for a few days so that the rowdy demon brothers wouldn't interfere with their healing.

•Beel was over every day, almost every hour, to check up on them.

•once the burn had healed a fair amount, Solomon was able to use his magic to prevent any scarring.

•Beel 100% blamed himself for the injury, he felt he had once again failed to protect an important part of his family.

•it took a lot of convincing from Mc and Belphie for him to stop blaming himself so much.

•he was never focused on revenge against the demons that did this as his full focus was on Mc and their recovery,

•Lucky for him, Solomon and Lucifer weren't as focused on Mc..

Belphie-

•he never really left the house and he wasn't super overprotective of Mc like the other brothers were.

•he knew their strength but also knew that if they needed him they would call for him.

•so when the pact mark he had with Mc started to heat up and quickly started to burn, he knew that was them calling for him.

•they needed his help and he was more than willing to give it.

•he left the house in a hurry as the mark started to burn more and more.

•despite trusting Mc to pretty much take care of themself,

•he couldn't deny the worry and concern rapidly growing.

•the pact mark between a human and their demon is supposed to connect them and one is supposed to be able to find the other through this mark

•but Belphie was new to pacts with humans and he wasn't quite sure how to use it to find Mc.

•this did not help his concern as he realized they could literally be anywhere in the Devildom.

•he decided to just go to all their favorite places to see if he could find them.

•he eventually found them pacing right outside the planetarium.

•it was their place, the two of them, so he mentally slapped himself for not checking there sooner.

•"Mc, whats going on?"

•he walked over to them but they turned away from him.

•he froze as one of the worst smells ever finally reached his nose.

•it was awful.

•"Mc, what happened?" He tried to reach out and grab their shoulder but he stopped when he noticed them trembling.

•"Uh, um, its nothing, nothing bad."

•their voice was trembling just as much as their body and Belphie had finally reached his limit.

•he spun them around and was about to say something but he froze.

•Mc was crying while holding their jacket over one half of their face.

•Belphie grabbed the hand that was holding the jacket and gently pried it away from their face.

•Mc grimaced with every movement and Belphie swore under his breath, hating that he was hurting them.

•once the jacket was fully gone his sleepy eyes widened and any left over drowsiness from earlier was completely gone.

•there was a large burn over their eye and the skin around it was pulling away.

•he realized that's where the smell was coming from.

•"What happened?"

•he repeated his question from earlier but this time there was no way anyone could ignore his threateningly low voice.

•"N-nothing, seriously, Im taking care of it. And I, I called Solomon and he's on, on his way to help. I'm okay."

•Belphie felt his heart drop as Mc said this.

•either they didnt trust him enough to let him help or they didnt love him enough to tell him what happened.

•he really hated both of those options.

•"I'll stay here with you until he shows up then."

•he'd feel even more awful if he brought it up and made Mc feel guilty on top of their physical pain though.

•he sat with them silently for a few minutes until Solomon showed up.

•Solomon took them back to Purgatory Hall to clean and patch up the burn.

•Belphie went with and held their hand as Solomon had to get rough to fully clean it.

•he stayed with them the whole time, swearing to never leave their side again.

•once they finally fell asleep he took it on himself to go after whoever dared to touch, let alone harm his human.

•they would pay.

•he wasn't nearly as cruel, or strong, as some of his older brothers,

•but he sure knew how to hold a grudge.

•and that promise of never leaving their side could hold off a few more hours...

#asmo obey me #beel obey me #levi obey me #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me headcanons #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me requests #headcanon requests #angst #tw burns #burns #cw burns #obey me angst

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whyralltheusernamestaken · 4 years ago

Text

A simple greeting

Where you find yourself trapped inside the world of what you thought was a fictional book and the only way you can leave is to say hi to your favourite character… Overhaul.

Overhaul x reader

Warnings : swearing

Words : 995

Masterlist

Series masterlist

A/N : Sorry this took so long. I’m off to bed so sorry i haven’t proof read. Also I have began my overhaul shrine, it currently consists of one print but it WILL grow

Chapter 5

It’s about time you left.

His voice kept echoing in your head as you continued to work into the late evenings, Haru having already left and yet his words refused to follow suite.

You knew he was right. Almost two and a half weeks has passed and you were becoming too attached to these... fictional characters.

The light pooled in from the second floor window as you raised a hand to knock on Toga’s door. Plastering a wide grin on your face, you waited for her.

“Hiya!” she answered almost immediately, swinging the door open with a smile. “Do you need anything?”

“Are you free to go shopping today?”

"Yeah sure, give me a second.” she replied, rushing back into her room.

“I’ll see you downstairs.”

“Alrighty.” she called out.

You waited, scrolling through the news on your phone before she bounded down the stairs, backpack in tow as you stood up to walk with her to the door.

“We’ll see you later Kurogiri.”

“Alright, stay out of trouble.”

You laughed. “We’ll try our best.”

With him replying with a nod, you pulled Toga out of the doorway, brushing past as Dabi turned the corner.

“And where are you two off to?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Just some shopping. We’ll see you later.” you responded, waving before turning to Toga.

“So what are you wanting to buy? Are you already sick of my clothes?”

“Oh no, that’s not it.” you hurriedly said, “I’ve just wanted to buy you guys a gift since I’ve recieved nothing but hospitality.”

“A gift?” Toga echoed.

You nodded. “Yeah, something to say thank you for letting me stay here. I borrowed a little money from Haru to hopefully get you guys something small.”

“Hmm alright.” she replied with a slight frown. “I don’t see how those guys deserve anything but speanding a day out with you is more than what I could ask for.”

At her words you felt yourself smiling uncontrollably.

“Thank you Toga.”

~~~

“You shouldn’t have.” Kurogiri beamed, rolling one of his new wine glasses in his hand with a smile.

“It’s alright! I wanted to give you guys something as a thanks.” You turned to Shigaraki befor handing him two PS4 games, watchong as his eyes widened, his father’s hand no longer obstructing your view of him face as he had grown to become used to your presence.

“Wow um... thanks.” he mumbled, hiding his smile by suddenly placing his father’s hand back on his face.

“Pfft he’s shy.” Toga giggled, before waving over Dabi.

“And this is for you sir.” you announced, handing him a large paper bag.

He pulled out a plain black sweater, eyeing you as he held the item of clothing up with a deadpanned expression. “A sweater?”

“It matches your aesthetic and it’s also fire resistant.” you smiled, giving him your now all too signature thumbs up, watching as he nodded.

“Could be worse.”

“Just say thank you and move on.” you rolled your eyes, turning away and back to Shigaraki. “But yeah, I just wanted to say thanks for letting me stay. I know it was at Haru’s request but I really appreciate it.”

He looked up from opening his games before giving you a nod.

“No problems Y/N.”

~~~

“I’m leaving.” you stated, a small bag of your personal items hung over your shoulder as Haru turned to look your way.

“It’s now or never.” he laughed, softly patting you on the back before you pulled him in for a hug.

“Thanks.” you mumbled as he froze, pausing for a few moments before patting your hair.

“There there. Sorry you got caught in this mess.”

“No no, it was fun, for sure.” you smiled, “I’ll leave the league to you? I know they’re villains but please do take good care of them.”

He snorted at you. “I don’t think you’d care if someone if a villain or not.”

“Stop judging me.” you cried out, pushing him away as you stuck your tongue out. “Alright I’m going now.”

You stepped away, a tight lipped smile that slightly cracked as you repeated your words. “I’m... I’m going now.”

“Go.”

You nodded, throwing him one last quick hug before running out of the door.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say goodbye to the league face to face, instead opting to leave them handwritten letters. Haru would give them it for you.

Pushing open the door, you greeted Rappa as he starting escorting you back to his hideout.

“I’m surprised it’s just you going alone.” he chuckled. “Am I to suppose the letter did it’s charms?”

You groaned, slapping a hand on his arm as he bellowed out laughter. “Shut it. And yeah your boss is still not over it, thinks I’m a spy who wants to steal his newborn’s teeth or something.”

“Well it is the boss, can’t have him dropping his guard for just anyone now can we?”

“Well one can dream.”

You continued your playful banter until reaching the base an hour and a half later. You bowed to the members who stood guard as you entered the doors, finding yourself in the familiar corridors again.

After a few minutes, you two stopped at a door, different to the meeting room you had been in last time.

“Boss, Y/N is here to see you.”

“They can enter.” Overhaul called from inside.

With a deep breath, you patted yourself on the face, telling yourself to calm down as you set foot into his office.

The walls were lined with cabinets and shelves stacked with folders and loose paper, Overhaul sat in the middle with his green coat draped over his chair, tie loose and sleeves rolled up, only a thin black face mask on.

You almost gasped at the holy sight, slapping your hand over your mouth as your eyes flittered around the room and eventually to meet his.

He cocked his head at you. “Are you going to stand there all day.”

You hurriedly shook your head before walking to his desk, Rappa closing the door gently behind his as he left the room. His boss could certainly take cair of himself, but he would be back in five minutes to check up on you two.

Pulling a notepad and pen out of your bag, you quickly wrote something down.

“Could you come stand here?” he read out loud, scanning you with his golden eyes before resting his palms on his desk and pushing himself up. “Sure.”

You waited him to stop at the front of his desk, before slowly stepping forward and stopping an arm’s distance from him, taking a deep breath before looking him in the eye.

"I think you're really really cool and I wish I had more time to spend with you, and that I dont know, we could've gotten to know each other better than you thinking I’m a spy but yeah, thanks for being alive, please let Eri go. Also you’re also really hot." You came to a stop, squeaking at the end with how difficult it was to hold your breath.

You let go of it, ready to speak again.

"I love you."

Your voice was overpowered by the intercom.

"Please take caution when stepping off the train."

#bnha #BNHA au #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bnha overhaul #bnha overhaul x reader #bnha imagine #bnha imagines #mha #mha imagine #mha imagines #mha overhaul #overhaul x reader #overhaul #kai chisaki #kai chisaki x reader #bnha kai chisaki

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holywankenobi · 5 years ago

Text

SW fandom rant

To be honest, I don't really know how or where can I start talking about this. If you aren't interested in any of the Star Wars drama that is going on then skip this post, cause its gonna be long... these goes for the SW fans we are concerned about the whole situation itself. I barely have the strength to do this and exposing my opinion about certain things makes me uncomfortable but it's been a long while since I'm keeping things to myself. There's much information I have to process so please be patient with me since I barely know how to express my emotions in the right way (that's why I'm holding myself back a lot here: it will seem I'm calm... but I'm not. I'm angry and tired at the same time).

DISNEY CANON

We all know where it all started. The Force Awakens premiere in 2015. We will start from there.

As ANY star wars movie, there will be people who liked it, people who loved it and people who hated it. And there is where some fans clash with the others. Fans who enjoy practically every movie or SW related things and those fans who demonize every movie (specially the ones from the new Disney canon) and the only thing that matters for them are the episodes IV, V, VI and the Legends canon (some of them also defend the prequel episodes I, II and III, fact which I'll talk about it later). And they bash against everyone who likes the Disney sequels.

BOI IM SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE SAGA SO FAR. And I already had problems with Legends hardcore fans.

Let me tell this straightaway... Star Wars are movies for kids. They've always been. George Lucas said it. They seem to be thirsty for feeling again what they felt when they were kids whenever a SW movie comes out but they always exit the cinema with a feeling of extreme disappointment.

I was talking about the last movie with my co workers at the beginning of the year and they complaint it was "too Disney". And that's precisely what I'm trying to explain! It's ok whether you like the sequels or not like them. Everyone has his own taste. I just find funny complaining for a whole saga originally made for kids for being "too Disney". I dont know if you get my point here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEsOqEpNF0k&list=PL8SlwcJuVWR2FNtL-6Wo5QUP6LMjpNJUA

LEGENDS CANON

Then there's those who hated the prequels, that said there was nothing worse than the phantom menace, those who hated on George Lucas for doing such a crap, but now praise the prequels because Disney is satan for them and they want the old canon back. George Lucas ended up selling SW to Disney because, he ain't no fool, he knows this fanbase is one of the most toxic and ungrateful that has ever existed. And he saw it with the prequels feedback... Then they now have the guts to demand him to continue the old canon? Smells like hypocrite-crying fanboys to me.

My whole point is....It's ok if you are a new/Disney sequels fan, it's ok if you are a prequels fan, it's ok if you are a SW original movies fan, Legends canon fan, OG fan, casual fan, hardcore fan... as always you understand that not everyone will agree with your point of view, not everyone will like or think the same way as you do, or live SW the same way as you do. There's a difference between respecting and agreeing with, concepts which sometimes get mixed and taken as the same thing, which is not. Respect other fans mean "I don't agree with you but I know how much this means for you, so I won't intentionally mock you" WHICH THING LEADS US TO THE NEXT TOPIC:

JOHN BOYEGA

*takes a deep breath*

Man. I dont know. He's a full grown up man and he's behaving like a 5 yo on his social media...... John is the actor who gives life to Finn (the ex stormtrooper). It all started with this sexist comment he responded to a fan in his IG.

Then people (naturally) got offended, specially reylos. But instead of apologizing he kept on going, remarked what he said and also did a video to mock the reylo community.

You think I'm only defending a ship here but no. Its bigger than that. He has the right to feel left out in this saga because I agree with him IN THAT FACT. He is probably the actor which is more into the SW world, he was always a big fan (of the whole cast I mean). Thats why fans love him do much. And I did love him too. And he (naturally) wanted to have more spotlight on this saga ( I think Finn was one of the most wasted characters of these movies tbh) But instead of taking it the mature way he's having a tantrum on his IG because Finnrey did not become a real thing, he's trolling reylos and encouraging SW haters and antis to bully them whose are already having a hard time with TROS end (which I'll talk about later because I dont like their attitude about it either).

And it's not just raise the hate on shippers thing dude you could just apologize because you said something sexist and offended a lot of people who ship reylo and really means a thing for them. The whole thing that the greatest achievement a man can have with a woman is sex is just DISGUSTING. Rey kissed Ben but now he's gone Finn has the road clear and can fuck her? BRUH.

This is all so wrong and he was the one who started it.

ADAM DRIVER

I'm really relieved Adam does not have any social media because omg I would be suffering so much rn...

I honestly have never emotionally connected with an actor so much as I did with him. His whole acting is so good and I could really notice on this last movie. I'm starting to watch his other movies. And not just his acting, he's so professional off camera too.

I'm really happy and proud of him for his Oscar nomination, he really deserves it TT

But I'm worried this whole John Boyega thing affects him. Idk how I would feel if I were in his shoes, if my coworker was saying those things on social media and then smile at me like nothing is happening. But honestly what hurts me the most is he's having a worse time with "reylos".. I think the rumors of him having an affair with Daisy Ridley was what messed things up. I honestly dont know if its true, I've got some info but it's hard to believe. Because there are so many haters manipulating fake info that I dont trust anything and anyone anymore.

And this is where I talk about:

REYLOS AND DAIVERS

BOI OH BOI

This is gonna be hard....

First of all, I don't consider Daivers (Daisy x Adam shippers) as part of the reylo community. I'm sorry. But its fucking disgusting you going to demand Adam to divorce from his wife, abandon his son and then start dating Daisy because of this rumor or because you can't separate fiction from reality.... I read he even recieved death threats ARE WE NUTS??? They (Adam and Daisy) having a good chemistry working together doesn't mean they are in love, kids...

Driver has an awesome wife and a lovely son. Daisy is currently dating someone.

Infidelity is gross. No more. And I would be so disappointed at them if this turns out to be true. But seeing all what's happening around the actors and specially having all this haters out there... I'll say this was all false information.

Daiver is not real and won't be. So stick only to the fictional ship.....

About Reylo itself. I find REALLY funny how people who dont know shit about what this ship means say it's an abusive relationship. Bullshit. I wouldn't be shipping them if so.

Also the people still stating it's not real/canon hiding themselves behind the "Ben solo is dead lol" argument. Do you stop loving someone when they die?

Yes, they love each other. No, it wasn't always reciprocated love. They started being enemies in the force awakens, friends who understood and cared for each other through force dyad in the last jedi and ended up being lovers at the end of the rise of Skywalker. Rey wants to revenge her family (her falling to the dark side) but also wants Ben Solo back, and he wants to be the most powerful leader on the galaxy and still being kylo ren. But they eventually meet in the middle between light and dark and Leia finally reaches out to him to make him turn to the light.That's their fight. That's the angst. That's the tea. "No one is ever really gone" there's always hope. Star Wars is centered in HOPE. And their story represents it at its finest.

NOW. The reylo community.

Despite you liked it or not the end they gave to the saga... I think JJ Abrams doesn't deserve all the hate he's receiving... he probably did a lot of things wrong but seriously... just stop. Not only from reylos but the whole fandom.

Sending hate won't lead to anything now...

I enjoyed The rise of Skywalker. Indeed I spent half of the movie crying and I loved it.

You can cry as much as you want the loss of Ben (although I have hope for him still being alive in a way, there are plenty of theories) but that doesn't give you the right to death threat JJ. And I think I'll stop here cause I'm already tired.

Everyone has their own taste, preferences, favourite characters, ships, whatever. I pray for people stop judging others for their tastes, specially in this cursed fanbase. Sorry if I ever misbehaved trying to defend what I think or like. I just want this place to be supportive and safe for everyone and everything what's happening is not helping... We are all SW fans and that's our connection point. Dont discredit others for having another point of view...

I'll leave it here, but I'm open to debate or talk about anything I said in a respectful way.

#tros #tros rant #star wars rant #reylo #the rise of reylo #adam driver #john boyega #star wars 9 #star wars ix #star wars ep 9 #the rise of skywalker

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badberry-rp-partner-search · 5 years ago

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RP PARTNER AD!!! (OwO)/

HEWWO!!! Folk call me Chicky or Bean! Sometimes Carm- it depends! But I’m in search of an rp partner! I’ve looked through tumblr a lot when it came to rp ads and through this hellsite I’ve found a lot of genuine partners that I now view as some of my closest friends. BUT LIFE HAPPENS!! So now I’m back and looking for another partner and maybe if I’m lucky a friend!

So I’ve never? Written an? Ad? Before??? Usually I just reply to them- So if I miss something you’re interested in feel free to DM me here later and I’ll answer!

Okay A little Abt Me so you know what you’re getting into:

I am currently 19, and doing school full time. I’m a Theatre Major and identify with she/her pronouns (if? Thats important? To some people it is- to me personally I am accepting of the entire gender spectrum.) Being as I’m currently in school please be understanding if I’m not online 24/7- I promise I’m usually pretty present and I’ll let you know if something comes up. In other news- I am filled to the brim with chaotic bisexual energy (yes we stan bisexual awareness and acceptance in this HOUSEHOLD. P L S.) UhhhhHHhhh I’m not sure what else to put here. If you have any other like questions? Lmk? HOPEFULLY we’ll get to know eachother if I catch ya fancy!!!

Now for the fun BITS( WHAT I’M LOOKIN FOR):

-I write in and prefer third person rps! Honestly with length PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t leave me with like a two sentence reply if I write a page. That’s all I ask. Most of my replies tend to be 3/4 sizable paragraphs give or take!

-I’ll rp with anyone as young as 17 and as old as 25. If you’re older than my step-brother I’m sorry I dont think I’d be very comfortable rping with you.

-Because I know that everyone has a life outside of RPs and things I dont expect a reply every day. I do full time school- I GET IT. But I do like to hear from my partners at least a few times a week. If not only for the memes bc I DO send cat pictures and Pinterest chaos that I find.

-I cannot express HOW MUCH I LOVE HEAD-CANONING. Even if it doesnt pertain exactly to the rp? I ADORE IT. I love useless facts about your characters- or dumb ideas in passing. Cute scenarios or things that have aBSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH WHATS HAPPENING IN THE MAIN PLOT. I’m a sap for character connections and I will send stuff about the potential there.

- As far as pairings go? I do it all! I have SO many ocs with so many gender identities and sexual orientations that as long as you’re open minded then we can rock and roll! I’m open to m//, f//, m/f, nb pairings, gender fluid(i have a few fluid babes myself), etc etc! Lmk whats up!

-I ONLY do Oc rps- So sorry to canon/oc or canon/canon. I thoroughly enjoy the worlds and the AU opportunities, but I don’t think I would feel comfortable there. THAT BEING SAID I have several fandoms that would make for FANTASTIC AUS.—

-Here are a few groups with AU POTENTIAL THAT I THRIVE FOR:

+ Haikyuu!! (If you’re a hq fan I will die. I lO VE THIS SHOW)

+ Pirates of the Caribbean (pirates!au got me like oooOooooOOo)

+ Tonari no kaibutsu-ken (My Little Monster) <- (another all time fave. Its so cute and good. Nothin like a babey asf slice of life to make my big stoopid heart soff)

+ Harry Potter (yes I’m a hoe for hogwarts au. The p o T e n t i a l.)

+ INU x BOKU SS (Inu x Boku Secret Service) <- (THIIISSSSSSSSSSS A A A AA A AAAAA GIVE ME THAT SPIRIT TEA)

+(There’s probably more, but I’m blanking rn big oof. DM ME IF YOU’RE CURIOUS ABOUT A FANDOM AND WHERE I STAND WITH IT AS FAR AS AUS GO. B c there’s a solid chance I have heard of it and I a m 100% willing to build an au with you around it!)

ANYWAY abt Ocs- I LOVE MY KIDS. And I’ll love YOUR KIDS. I LOVE OCS IN GENERAL. I draw art of my dumbasses all the time and if we hit it off real good and I feel mega inspired I’ll draw art of our kids interacting. (No promises but like y e e t)

I say this bc I do have an art blog that I’ll link at the very end of this mess so you can see and meet them. If you have an art blog too? I would LOVE TO SEE IT. AND FOLLOW YOU!! I wanna explore potential together!

Okay okay so I think? At the end of these people usually put like the potential rp ideas they have and I got a couple, but honestly if you have something you’re curious about exploring tell me about it!! I’m eager to see what ideas you have and we can build something together!!

Royals!AU

— (royal/servant)

— (royal/bodyguard)

—(royal/peasant)

Vampire!AU

—(vampire/thrall)

—(pureblood/turned)

—(pureblood/rogue)

—(hunter/vampire)

—I have some original worlds when it comes to vampires that have exploring potential!

A/B/O

—I think the world is sUPER CUTE. I know a lot of it is smut (nothin wrong with that ig) but like the fluffy bits are quality and here we stan some f l UFF.

Pirates!AU

— Captain/First Mate

— Pirate/Siren

— I know this lowkey loops up to Pirates of the Caribbean!au, but we dont have to follow the movies lore which is sorta why i put it like? Separate?

Detective/Criminal

— Detective/Thief

—Retired!Criminal/ Detective (working on Criminal’s case)

I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE RN!!

Okay! So this is sorta the end of my ad I think! If you made it this far and you’re interested Uh TEA! I am SO EXCITEDDDDD! If you’re genuinely interested, follow, and like this post and acct, then send me a message here!

I only rp through Discord, but I won’t leave my discord info here. After we talk a little in the tumblr dms and you tell me a little bit about yourself and what you like then I’ll hand it over and we can GET TO BRAINSTORMING!!! YAYYY!!!

ANOTHER THING! Bc i know that tumblr is a chaos site that never puts a date on ANYTHING and I have LIVED THROUGH THE EMBARRASSMENT OF MESSAGING SOMEONE IN THIS RUSSIAN ROULETTE OF HOW LONG AGO DID THEY POST THE AD I’M GONNA PUT THE DATE HERE WITH MY ART BLOG LINK HERE.

August 31, 2019!

#rp partner wanted #rp partner ad #oc rp #rp partner search #rp partner needed #rp partner #oc roleplay #discord roleplay #discord rp #rp ad #oc rp partner #rp search #MESSAGE ME I’M READYYYYYYY

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 5 years ago

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CHATS: More Dumpsters, More Fires 2

#1 - Jo and Anna discussing one of the ‘breaks’ Anna and Gray go on.

<Ellen> oh did you read the gray/anna?

<Jo> YES

<Jo> Oh god Anna

<Jo> Anna sweetheart, what did you do?

<Ellen> killed her relationship

<Jo> Brilliantly so

<Jo> But god :c

<Ellen> I know

<Ellen> she’s pretty much not moved

<Ellen> she grumbled at lexy once who was being mean about why gray would make a bad dad

<Ellen> and thats been it

<Ellen> I keep poking her with a stick ever so often

<Jo> Oh wowsers

<Ellen> yea

<Jo> Is she gonna be okay?

<Ellen> um

<Ellen> *prods her with a stick*

<Ellen> nooooot really sure

<Jo> Hmmmmm… any chance when all the Crowley stuff is done she’d try going back now?

<Ellen> yea she did it to protect everything

<Ellen> but she’s not sure if Gray will ever get over it

<Jo> Probably not

<Ellen> she’s just waiting for Crowley to kill her

<Jo> Anna really is the queen of the deathwish sometimes

<Ellen> ack closed window

<Ellen> missed it

<Jo> <Jo> Anna really is the queen of the deathwish sometimes

<Ellen> she is

<Ellen> she misses Gray

<Jo> “Then she should just buck up, apologise for being a bitch, say she was lying and that she’s scared and made a horrible mistake and get his asshole ass back.” What I think Jo was trying to say is maybe she should give in some of her pride this time, unless she wants things to go the way of her last relationship with just walking out the door.

<Ellen> wow..she just rolled over more..

* Ellen is now known as Anna

<Jo> “…. Woops?” I apologise for Jo causing her to roll over and die some more :c

<Anna> she’s worried that if she tells Gray that she didn’t mean it then it would just piss crowley off

<Anna> because Gray won’t listen to reason

<Jo> *nodnod* THat sounds likely, but I get the feeling Gray would be happy if Anna grovelled a bit

<Anna> “But what good would it do if he was happy and Crowley decided to take it out on him or worse Ellen..”

<Jo> “As it stands, you wiped out whatever handing over of /anyone/ aside from yourself that’s happened so if he goes after Ellen then it’s just my fault for being related to her. As for him taking it out on Gray, I get the feeling something like that would happen eventually any way”

<Anna> “I don’t know what to do.”

<Jo> “God damn, well what do you /want/ Anna? Take all the reasons why you wouldnt or anything else like that out of the equation and just tell me what you want.”

<Anna> “What I want doesn’t matter. not if messes up getting Crowley.”

<Jo> “Hypothetically, if Crowley was gone, what would you want then? Jesus, you’re the worst to get a straight answer from.”

<Anna> “Things the way they were before.”

<Jo> “So fuck Crowley, fuck what might happen and do what you want to do then! Hell, that’s the motto I’m currently living by.”

<Anna> “I’m not you and everytime I’ve went after what I’ve wanted it’s ended bad.”

<Jo> “I still say fuck what could happen, dont be a pussy about it and own up to what you want and do what you can to have and keep it.”

<Anna> “Maybe..”

<Jo> “Do it.”

<Anna> “Gray’s not going to get over it.”

<Jo> “Well make him think he’s the man again, or whatever his problem was. He gave up a lot of his dignity for him, you could be nice and do the same.”

<Anna> “It’s not like i’ve got anything left..”

<Jo> “… Really? You seriously dont think you have some sort of way of showing that, oh hey, maybe /youre/ not the one in control of this..whatever? That he knows and can tell just how far you’ve gone for him? Because I’ve been in his spot, and all I ever got was uppity holier-than-thou bullshit and nothing at all that made me think that maybe, just maybe, you would bend on a topic or two and hand some sort of control over.”

<Anna> “then by your own experience and the fact you’re happier now..you’ve just shown he’s better off without me.”

<Jo> “Actually, I’m happier now because I’m getting to do what I want and actually have some of that control - I get to be myself. Gray on the other hand… is no where near better off without you. He’s just a target with an arrow pointing at his head. With you? If you’d let him be the goddamn man..”

<Jo> (She means outside the bedroom or in the nonsex relationship stuff obvs)

<Anna> “Fine Jo..”

<Anna> (there is so much irony in this conversation)

<Jo> “Fine what?”

<Jo> (There is. Its hilarious)

<Anna> “you’re right.”

<Jo> “That you should give some of that pride of yours away and apologise? Say you were lying and stupid and you want him back and you’re obviously too proud usually to admit it but that for his sake and forgiveness you will and will let him take back some of that precious control, so the both of you can be happy?”

<Anna> “yes..”

<Jo> “Glad to hear it. Don’t fuck it up this time.”

<Anna> “sure.”

<Anna> and Anna’s never intending to talk to Gray..she’s just trying to shut Jo up

<Jo> “Sure sure.”

<Jo> LOL I wouldnt have expected otherwise

#2 - Anna getting pissy and shitty over Grey, and Grey/Jo and taking it out on Jo. Jo trying to defuse situation but it gets worse

<Anna> wow..

<Anna> bitter much anna

<Jo> ??

<Anna> “funny..how I’m the high and mighty bitch but everything revolves around Jo’s perspective and how people get to live based on her ideals. Fuck that.”

<Jo> “I wasnt saying you have to live by it, but that’s how I view things and how I’m going to work in this world and if you have an issue with that- oh wait, you do. You gave me shit about it for months and months, so that’s really not a new conclusion you’re coming to there, Anna.”

<Anna> “if everything is so black and white then why isn’t she killing humans? Why isn’t Grey killing them? Humans kill for stupid reason, least most of the time when monsters kill they kill to survive. It’s not exactly fair they are punished for being created for population control of the human race.”

<Jo> “Humans are killed and punished for hurting other humans, and if I come across a case where its some fucked up asshole doing the dirty work? I will get that fucker put in jail. Now, if you want to start up some jailing system for monsters who go outside of their dietary needs and requirements, then go right ahead I’ll round you up some prisoners. But otherwise? This is my goddamn job and I don't care if its there nature - things go against them all the time - so unless theyre able to control their shit? I don’t give a fuck and I will be protecting other human beings.”

<Anna> “Then start with the Grey”

<Jo> “He hasn’t hurt anybody.”

<Anna> “That’s right..I’m not human..fuck you.”

<Jo> “You spend so long saying you'e an angel. Unless you’re going to throw that all out and stop with the high and mighty crap, then I’m not going to say you are. You can’t have best of both worlds, Anna, you’re not Hannah Montana”

<Anna> “Whatever. You’re idea of friends is as black and white as everything else. It’s clear that if people don’t fit in your ideals then they aren’t worth that, I don’t fit anywhere so it’s fine for your other friends to do whatever. I don’t care anymore, Grey has made threat after threat to me and is using my feelings for Gray to hurt me. It’s all fine to you and I’m done with him.”

<Jo> “And I have told him to keep his shit away from you, because I am sick and tired of the both of you hurting one another. If I didn’t think that you encourage or egg him on, I’d have only been yelling at him, Anna, but I saw the burns and I’m not down with either of my friends hurting one another. It’s over - neither of you is touching one another and you’re leaving eachother the fuck alone. And take your BS whining about not fitting anywhere the fuck away Anna, I’ve been your friend through this all - I put up with your shit with Gray, I dealt with your problems better than anyone and I’ve put my neck on the line for you so many times. And it is /not/ ‘fine’ as you say, I’ve told him and he knows if he does put another toe out of line where you’re concerned its the bad end of my gun for him - but the same fucking goes for you Anna. It’s not 'fine’ for him to push you about and its not 'fine’ for you to do the same to him. I’m done with it. The next time either of you causes problems I will be ending them.”

<Anna> “Right..because poor little Grey is incapable of being an asshole without the evil angel pushing him into it. I’m sorry, my memory is a little fuzzy but what did I do to him for him to tell me about everything in the hospital that utlimatly split us up? How did I provoke that attack that was nicely wrapped in false concern? Oh I burned his wrist with iron once because he kept telling me I was too weak to do anything. My bad. Next time I’ll leave him in an alley unconcious so that a demon can come carve him up.”

<Jo> “I think your memory would be a little fuzzy of then - and you really think I wasn’t going to mention what happened between you and Gray to you? This is me we’re talking about. And I’m not saying he’s not without fault - if I was I wouldn’t have almost had my house set on fire getting into a round with him about it. But fact of the matter is - I know the /both/ of you Anna, and I know the amount of stuff you’ll overlook about yourself to be right, and I know how little and how hard it is for him to lie to me about things. I’m not saying he’s not, just that you are a goddamn btich sometimes Anna, same as he is, and I am sick of the /both/ of you pulling iron or draining one another. All this feuding is doing is taking my attention /away/ from getting rid of Crowley”

<Anna> “And I’m sick of you always taking his side or anyone elses no matter what it is or over looking what they do till I fight back, really fight back and then suddenly I’m the villian. I was never first with you when we were together and I’ll never be first with you as friends because it’s easier to blame my bitchy personality than to possibly piss off your current fuck buddy.”

<Jo> “You know what, right now hanging out with /your/ ex fuck buddy is a lot nicer than being around /either/ of you! Do you /know/ what that says about you both?! And I’m not taking sides at all, Anna, not one part of this is me taking a side. You’re both to blame for whatever is happening, how about you open your eyes and realise that might be the case as well? You both are fucking up, you’re both being pains in the asses and you’re both being children about whatever the fuck this is about, and I am done with it. I dont /care/ who starts this mess, Anna, but I will be finishing it and it is over right /NOW/. I have said the same fucking thing to him so dont you even fucking start with me, and as for making you out like the villian - at least he has the decency to admit some of the crap he does to build on this bullshit fight, are you going to do the same? And do not even try to pull that first-second crap either.”

<Anna> “I’m fixing his mistakes! I’m fixing mine! I’m doing this to protect you, to protect Gray! Grey is going to use Crowley to go after Gray if he can’t. He’s hurting Gray to spite me because he knows I can’t do anything to stop it! He told me to drive Gray away to protect him and I did it and now he hates me and I want to fucking hurt him for that, for everything he’s done. For throwing Ellen to Crowley because you won’t! He fucking rubs it in my face that I’m alone..that it’s my fault..and that hurts..I did what you said! I went to Gray and I begged him, I pleaded to tell him I’m sorry and he hates me and Grey is boasting about it and I fucking hate him!”

<Jo> *Jo sighs, rubbing her temples* “Okay firstly, I don’t need protection, Im a big girl, I can handle myself. Secondly, I really don’t care about Gray - I understand it hurts you and he’s important to you but on that point I really cannot care. And on the Ellen part, I’ve discussed this at length and I’ve run over everything in my head and as much as Im angry and hurt about it still I’m not letting myself dwell on it. But I can /understand/ why you hate him, Anna, I truly can. Its the same reason I wanted to plunge a knife into Gray every time I damn well saw him for months. But I /didn’t/ because /you/ asked me not to. I’m asking you the same thing now, Anna..”

<Anna> “And I’ll tell you teh same thing you told me you, that you will if he gives you reason to. You’re a self rightous hypocrit Jo and that says a lot coming from me. You express to me every chance you get how you could care less about Gray and how it’s my problem that I have feelings for him. It’s the same for me. I could care less about Grey and he has done things to me and to the ones I care about. According to your own rules I should have every right to go after him. You justify Grey going after Gray for roughing you up but I’m expected to sit back and do nothing if it’s reversed. No, I’m not going to just sit back because you see Gray as the bad guy and that it’s okay.”

<Jo> “I am not the hypocrit here, Anna, that has always been you. I dont give a crap if you don’t like Grey, you never told me to shut up about disliking Gray - oh wait yes you did, but ya know what? You can /talk/ about hating him as much as you want, but I do care if either of you is hurting one another. And you’re expected to because Grey doesn’t just go after him because of that - /we/, you and I, have /no/ say in what those two do to one another, Anna. That’s not our place to step in at all and you need to realise that. You say all that BS about nature and stuff, and fighting one another is /their/ nature, so yes, you’re expected to sit back and do fucking nothing. Its not a case of good guy/bad guy in that Anna. Deal with it.”

<Anna> “So you mean to tell me that if Gray killed Grey you would just go 'oh well that was just their nature?’ It isn’t a case of two kids fighting, I’m scared for Gray because Grey wants to see him as broken as he is. Grey doesn’t care about anyone, Ellen is 'the woman tht shot at him’ that’s how he described her when I asked how could he do that to the person you probably care the most about in the world. The fact she means anything you means nothing to him.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair* “I’ve heard from you, Gray can’t be trusted. I’ve heard from Gray that you can’t be trusted because you named me over Ellen when you drugged me. I’m hearing again that Gray can’t be trusted from you now but the only person who has willingly and without any remorse what so ever that has done anything like that is Grey. I know you felt bad when you did the drugging and that you had no choice. I understood and I defended you over and over again and never was mad. I’m sorry we can’t agree about this but Grey isn’t going to stop trying to destroy Gray and I want to protect him. It’s my fault Grey can hurt him..”

<Jo> “Anna… Anna I don’t need us to agree, I don’t need you to swear to love and adore him or anything like that. All I want is for the two of you not to be killing one another every time my head is turned because that? That hurts me a lot, and I know you’ve got another interest in Gray in why you want to hurt Grey and I know you want to protect him - but all I ask at all is the same thing you did of me - that you won’t hurt him without his attacking /you/ first. The same way I wouldn’t go after Gray for your behlaf, even with his hurting Grey and other people. I went against what I’ve brought myself up to do for your feelings, hell I’m still not trying to actually kill him because I know he still means something to you. I just ask the same respect in return, Anna..”

<Anna> “Fine Jo. You win. I’ll sit back and just wait for Crowley to come and do whatever he wants to me. I’ll listen to him talk about whatever he’s doing to anyone else, including Gray. I’ll listen to every spiteful and hurtful word that comes out of Grey’s mouth about how I’ve fucked up again, which truth hurts and I’ll tell myself that I’m doing this all so you won’t be hurt because Grey is fine. He’s probably happy and making you happy because he’s happy. And I’ll know that your happy Gray is getting what you think he deserves and I’ll take comfort knowing that for you everything is good as long as Grey never makes the first move at me. Happy?”

<Jo> “You think I haven’t had Gray running his mouth at me, Anna? I know it sucks and it hurts and its hard, but you’re making it sound like I haven’t been in the exact same position that you are right now for months. Pull the stick out of your ass if you think that’s the case, because I put up with that crap rather than killing or hurting him for your sake, so you could extend me that courtesy.” *Jo hisses back quietly, looking serious yet not angry any more* “I have no care about what the hell you do to Crowley, I don’t even know why you mentioned that at all because whatever relivance you think that has there is /none/. And Gray and Grey are responsible for their own actions with one another, I have come to acknowledge that and it’s about time you did the same. I’ve got no problem with you dishing it out /as good as you get/ with Grey, but I fucking swear that whoever makes the first physical strike will get the business end of my gun at them. Cause whatever emotional problems you might cause one another, I don’t really care because I’ve been dealing with the same from Gray and from /you/ and from others so that really bloody doesn’t count in my book anymore.”

<Anna> *Anna’s quiet for a bit and then she shrugs* “I know Gray gave you shit and I know you gave it back, after all you keep saying your a big girl. I’m scared Jo. I’m scared that Grey is going to be right and Crowley is going to win and I keep telling him there’s a difference in what we do. I’m willing to give myself up to protect others, he just wants to protect his own self but it doesn’t mean I'm not scared of the idea that Grey is going to be whispering in Crowley’s ear if he thinks it will save him. But you can’t protect me from that and it’s not a physical move against me so I can’t fight back. But whatever I’m not human, I’m an unfeeling angel that’s a hypocrit, self rightous and a bitch. I won’t make a move against Grey and you might want to watch out for Ruby, I’ll try and call her off. Whatever it takes to beat Crowley..”

<Jo> “Anna.. …” *Jo sighs, giving her a look and a quick shake of the head* “If things aren’t able to get better, I know I’ll end up revising my opinion on this, and if someone is acting physically against you on his behalf? Then I count it as his own and its free game if you can find him after I’d be finished giving a piece of my mind. I’m not saying you don’t count, Anna, you do count - but there is a difference between someone being chomped on and tortured and killed by a monster because they can and someone having that happen because they’ve encouraged a reaction of some sort. And you’re taking several different points I’ve made and turned them into one when thats not the case at all.”

<Anna> “So everytime you mouthed off to anyone and then they lashed out and you get all uppity and going to kill them is different? Or you torturing Gray and then when he lashed back out? The only reason any of this is a problem is because you’ve taken sides on this but you don’t want to say it. And it’s fine. I’m wrong, I’ve been wrong and will continue to be wrong.”

<Jo> “Did I ever call for someone to back me up? Or did my going after him ever effect anyone else? No. What /the both/ of you doing trying to hurt one another does just that. You’re putting me between the both of you and honestly? I don’t want to be. If you’re hell bent on getting revenge and hating him and killing him then I don’t want any part of your life any more, and the exact same is true for him. If he wants to wreck your like and destroy you, then I don’t want to be around him from then on. I am not going to be in the middle of this, and hell I’m really glad I didn’t take Crowley up on his offer if this is what I would have to be dealing with with no exit plan.”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “It’s not like I wasn’t ever in the middle with you and Gray but that doesn’t count because Gray is the evil monster.”

<Jo> “By then? We weren’t gunning for eachother like this, Anna, get your contexts right.”

<Anna> “Go home Jo.”

<Jo> “Fuck it, fine.”

<Anna> “Goodluck. I’ll play nice.”

#3 - Anna was getting pissy because Jenna and I had been discussing one of the Jo/Grey chat scenes after Greyd been getting at Anna (I think it might have been Jo and Grey talking after Anna had ironed him, and Jo was fairly light on/very “That wasnt your fault” to Grey and Anna took offence).

<Jo> worst friend award goes to…. lol

<Anna> lol

<Anna> Jo’s been winning it

<Anna> hands down

<Jo> Oh yes. Most definitely.

<Jo> Jo is saying some of what Anna’s been saying is unfounded, but some is true and that she’ll try to be more… clear minded the next time she speaks to either shadow and make certain things arent being interpreted wrong. Cause from her perspective she’s told Grey not to talk about Anna to Gray but seemingly no one understood Jo-speak

<Anna> lolol

<Anna> “no Jo’s teh only one fluent in bitch around here”

<Jo> “….Jesus Anna… that was an /apology/ and acknowledgement that, hey, I’m fucking up a bit. Did you want to reign in the nasty for a few seconds to realise that?”

<Anna> “fine fine..”

<Jo> “/Fine/. …I’ll go straighten this crap out with /Gray/ again, given as much as you might think I have Grey on some sort of… collar and leash… nobody does and your bastard of a monter at least knows me well enough to know I don’t exactly /lie/..”

<Anna> “It won’t do anygood to talk to Gray. Crowley sort of put a rule down that if I get caught talking to him then..well he fucks me infront of Gray and who knows what else. So even if he did suddenly decide to not hate me it doesn’t do any good.”

<Jo> “It’ll stop you feeling like shit and curb whatever damage Grey might have done for whatever future the two of you might have had… It’s not going to /hurt/ any to talk to him. And it’s not you talking, either.”

<Anna> “It won’t do any good.”

<Jo> “Yeah well, you can’t really stop me trying to fix it for you, Anna. You made an effort to make things better for me by saving my Mom - I’m going to try and salvage your relationship for if you can ever get it back. Sure its hardly equal but..”

<Anna> “He’s right and Grey’s right. I’m not good for him and I’m a weakness. At leastt while Crowley’s around.”

<Jo> “He didn’t seem particularly strong when I saw him… Or at least not himself. Likely to get himself killed if he’s that damn reckless in future..”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “I want him back so bad but I want him to come back*

<Jo> "I’ll see what I can do, Anna. I swear..”

<Anna> “thanks Jo.”

<Jo> “Don’t mention it. …Seriously, don’t.”

<Anna> *Anna can’t help but laugh*

<Jo> *Jo smiles back slightly* “I think most people would have Christo’d me by now, Anna…”

<Anna> “I don’t think any demon would be dumb enough to try and take over you.”

<Jo> “They’d just get stuck in the back of my head with some of my stupidest ideas if they did.”

<Anna> *Chuckling she nods* “Listening to you going on and on about hunting*

<Jo> "I don’t go on /that/ much about it…”*Jo flushes a bit wrinkling her nose*

<Anna> “Uh huh”

<Anna> “you know you talk about hunting in your sleep?”

<Jo> “I.. do not…?” *She pulls a face, looking completely uncertain* “Do I?”

<Anna> “Waking up to hear you talking about rawheads..isn’t exactly romantic.” *Anna grins at Jo*

<Jo> *Jo flushes further, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly* “I’m sure it’s plenty romantic. …If youre into that kind of thing.”

<Anna> “Sure sure, everyone wants to hear the murmerings of sweet nothings that end in ‘pass the salt’”

<Jo> “Salt doesnt kill rawheads… And I’m not that bad, am I? Didn’t wake you up with a foreign language sounding like gibberish before. Unlike someone.”

<Anna> “I’ll take gibberish anyday over being hit out of no where while you sit up and scream for a shotgun before falling back. There’s a reason I said you aren’t allowed to take guns to bed anymore Jo.” *Anna’s grinning now*

<Jo> “Not just because it’d freak you out to find me using you as a resting place for most of my bits then?” *Jo smiles reluctantly*

<Anna> *Anna chuckles*

<Jo> “Yeah well, at least I kept my sex dreams quiet."

<Anna> "Right…I’ve never woke up with your hands squeezing down beteen my legs looking for soemthing that wasn’t there.”

<Jo> *Jo cringes at Anna’s comment before laughing* “…. It’s not my fault I move in my sleep while you’re just… a log.”

<Anna> “Well, at least when I moan Dean’s name in my sleep it’s because I’ve actually been with him.”

<Jo> *Jo’s mouth drops open, mouthing wordlessly in response*

<Anna> “And I mean..really..Sam too?” *Anna’s struggling to keep a straight face*

<Jo> *It takes a second before she practically squeaks in annoyance, reaching out to hit Anna’s shoulder* :“Oh my- you almot had me god damn.. One too far, Anna.”

<Anna> “Well it’s not my fault you want to know which brotehr is bigger” *Anna laughs at Jo punching her*

<Jo> *Jo shakes her head, running a hand through her hair* “I already have enough cases of 'compare the brothers’. I don’t think I’m going to add the Winchesters, though you could check out Sam and let me know..” *She teases back*

<Anna> *Anna sighs leaning back* “this sucks..everything*

<Jo> *Noticing the change, Jo nods, crossing her arms* "I’d be sure that it does. …What particularly today?”

<Anna> “just everything.”

<Jo> *Jo nods again, feeling slightly bad for not feeling as worn out or bad as Anna seems to* “That’s what it tends to do”

<Anna> *Anna turns to go, much more and she’s going to start whining about how much she misses Gray and she just doesn’t feel like giving Jo that satisfaction* “See ya around.”

<Jo> “I’ll let you know how it goes, Anna. Check in with you in a bit, okay?” *Jo frowns slightly, watching her go*

#4 - How Jo Told Anna About Gray’s Binding (dont let Gray read the startish bits) - Jo being rude but also protecting Gray’s wishes

<Jo> *Jo’d waited a few hours at home, showering to wash what blood she’d gotten on her off, before heading across town to Anna’s - debating the whole time what she should and shouldn’t say. Distractedly, she knocks on the front door a quick beat until she sees the light under the door and just pushes the door open heading in* “So, I’ve got some good news and some… news. Which you want first, Anna?”

<Anna> *Anna is cleaning up the apartment when she hears the knock on the door and before she can even take two steps she see’s Jo walk in and the other woman’s expression tells her that this isn’t a social call. She raises a brow at how Jo just starts the conversation and she leans against the counter she was cleaning.* “News.”

<Jo> *She reaches up to rub at the back of her neck, kicking the door shut gently behind her and diverting her eyes from Anna as she brushes past to put the bed between them* “Well, I’ve seen Gray..”

<Anna> *Anna nods, not liking how Jo is hesitating.* “And?”

<Jo> “He’s.. …not exactly himself.” *Jo finally looks over at Anna, shifting a few steps further back, not sure what her reaction would be* “But I’m doing what you asked.”

<Anna> *Anna looks at Jo half expecting to hear that she found him dead and the good news being she wasn’t the one that killed him. Hearing Gray isn’t himself only increases her worry.* “What do you mean he isn’t himself? Crowley?”

<Jo> “Yeah, Crowley was involved. Dropped him off on me as a little task.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder as she speaks, watching Anna carefully* “He’s still him, but.. not really the same as always.”

<Anna> *Anna runs a hand over her face and through her hair as she gives Jo a look of frustration when the blond woman keeps talking in circles.* “Jo, what happened?”

<Jo> “He doesn’t want you to know.” *She spits it out quickly, deciding not to elaborate on exactly what seems to have happened just yet* “The good news is it doesn’t seem like Crowley literally bent him over at least.”

<Anna> *Anna takes a breath before giving Jo a look, glaring somewhat at her.* “Good..you..Jo. What. Happened? and Where. Is. Gray?”

<Jo> “I, uh.. He doesn’t want you to know that either. I tried to bring him here and he freaked out on me.” *Jo shifts awkwardly under Anna’s glare, rubbing at her neck again before adding very quickly* “He also seems to have had his powers surpressed and can’t do anything.”

<Anna> “So Gray is locked in his body?” *Anna closes her eyes praying for patience in dealing with Jo.* “If he doesn’t want me to know then why are you telling me? You might as well tell me where he.” *Crossing her arms she stares at Jo expecting an answer.*

<Jo> “Um, more than that.. He tried to set things alit and stuff, but it didn’t work, and now I think about it he seems to have tried disappearing or feeding and none of that worked too.” *Jo gives Anna a significant look, raising an eyebrow before shrugging back at her* “Because, if I tell you where he is then I’m going to go ahead and say he’s not going to let me keep taking care of him. Like you asked, and seemingly Crowley wants me to. But I’m telling you about it because you deserve to know.”

<Anna> “Jo…” *Anna frowns as Jo keeps telling her about what Crowley did and she’s worried about Gray knowing him and how badly he acted before when hurt but now he can’t feed?* “Tell me where he is, you can’t expect to tell me this and just sit back!” *She’s biting her lip at the idea of Jo taking care of Gray, it’s her place, she’s always done it before.*

<Jo> *When Anna doesn’t seem likely to throw something at her, Jo shifts moving closer, twisting a hand in her hair as she looks about awkwardly almost* “He doesn’t want you to see him like this, Anna. You know him, he’s too goddamn proud to let you see him like he is right now.”

<Anna> *Anna gives Jo a look of total annoyance rolling her eyes as she goes over and grabs her bag, putting clothes and other supplies inside of it.* “Do you know how many times he’s told me to go away because his pride has been hurt? I never listened before. So you can tell me or I can start looking around town for him myself.”

<Jo> “Anna, stop. Okay? I’ll tell you as soon as the stitches can come out, okay? And this isn’t..” *Jo sighs, moving over to grab Anna’s bag and holding it away* “There is something seriously wrong, and I’m fairly certain that he will run and never come back if you show up and find him now.”

<Anna> “Damn it Jo! Give it back!” *Anna lunges for the pack glaring at Jo as she says something about stitches.* “You think there’s something wrong? Of course there is something wrong! If Gray had picked the other choice then he wouldn’t be in this mess and it’s not your place to take care of him, you don’t even like him. How do I know you won’t just kill him??”

<Jo> “Ya know he said that too. ‘Should have let him fuck me’.” *Jo’s voice drops down in the impersonation, jerking the pack to the other side away from Anna* “Am I the only one who thinks theres something wrong with that thought? And you asked me to Anna, you asked me to take care of him - so I damn well will even if I don’t want to. I had the option to kill him, he was right there and weak and I /didn’t/ because you asked me not to!”

<Anna> “He..No! That isn’t what I’m talking about! How could you think that is..” *Anna is clenching her fists tempting to take a swing at Jo, she’s never fucking listened to anyone why is she starting now!* “He ..just never mind Jo! Tell me where he is damn it!”

<Jo> *Jo turns her head but not quick enough, feeling the ache through her chin as she tosses the pack over the far side of the room* “Well that’s what he’s talkin’ about, Anna. He is regretting /that/ choice, not the one protecting you. So, I figure I owe him one right about now - so I’ll keep my agreement with him about you.”

<Anna> *Anna turns walking towards the door, fuck Jo and fuck Gray for not wanting to see her. She’s got nothing but time until Crowley comes back to have fun with her so she can easily start walking the city and looking for where Jo might be keeping Gray.*

<Jo> *Looking between Anna and the pack, Jo moves over to grab it before catching up to Anna* “How 'bout I take this over for him, along with anything else /other/ than you you want to pass along, and I’ll see how he feels 'boutt seeing you now he’s had some time to adjust?”

<Anna> *Anna stops still visibly pissed at Jo and she doesn’t say anything at first but then she just nods.* “If I don’t hear anything by tomorrow then you can tell him that when I do find him, he’s going to be in so much trouble.” *Opening the door she waits for Jo to leave.*

<Jo> *Jo barely restrains herself from muttering that she’s guessing he isn’t going to be the only one, shrugging the pack onto her shoulder with a nod* “I’ll get him to send you a message then.” *Stepping out into the hall, she raises an eyebrow checking there was nothing else*

<Anna> “Also tell him I’m pissed at not wanting to see me. He’s an ass.” *Anna shuts the door on Jo turning around and walking back to the bed before flopping down and resisting the urge to scream and throw things.* “Stupid stubborn jackass!”

#yay chatlogs

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sweet-sugar-cowboy · 6 years ago

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Miss. Orléans | Red Dead Redemption 2 | Part 5

@lowkeyofsassguard

Elizabeth Orléans comes from a background of unimaginable wealth from her father. Raised in the life of luxury, she adored her parents and was always a respectable little girl. However, when tragic hits and she’s wearing all black at her mother’s funeral, her life is turned upside down as her father became a drunken mess.

During one of her fathers business meetings, Elizabeth wanders in town and gets herself caught up in something dangerous. Then the infamous Dutch Van der Linde saved her and took her in. There she fell in love and only to have her heart broken.

When events and situations change, Elizabeth leaves the gang and her life as an Outlaw. Leaving only a note and a pile of cash.

John Marston x OC (implied)

Arthur Morgan x OC

Word count: 2021

Arthur had spent most of the day away from camp, wanting be alone and left to his thoughts. He wandered around the land, meeting a few strange people and helping them out. They made him do some odd things, but he met a particular person who wanted to photograph the wild and got his satchel stolen by a fox. It gave Arthur one hell of a chase, but eventually he got it back and the man was able to get the photos he wanted.

He had spent the rest of his days hunting buffalos and some deers to harvest their meat and fur. Ended up going to a trapper to sell him the fur and have him fix up some clothing attires for him. Now he was heading home to camp, wanting to get some food in his belly, maybe some whiskey before he retired for the night. When he entered the camp he noticed it was awfully louder than usual as it seemed everyone was there, laughters and singing could be heard in the night air as he got off his horse and hitched it.

Curiosity overwhelmed him as he wondered what the special occasion was. Entering the camp, his blue gaze instantly went to the campfire where majority of the people were, surrounding two familiar kids.

Jack was currently seated between James and Rosie as the young boy bonded quickly with the two older kids. Abigail was off to the side smiling brightly at the three as she and Hosea cooed at how adorable they were being. Instantly the three became quick friends as they never met kids around their age and took immediate liking to one another. Even shy and timid James opened up quickly as the twins shared their stories about growing up and all the things they would do with their mother. Rosie seemed particularly happy sharing about her experience going fishing, even if others would view it as boring.

James on the other hand talked about books he read with Elizabeth and impressed some of the people by how well he read. Mary-Beth and him were talking about different novels they read. Once you get the boy going, he's a talker, especially when they were discussing about a topic he's interested in.

Dutch was the first to notice Arthur's presence as he stayed a little way back from the group to just observe. Walking over to Arthur, Dutch placed a hand on his shoulders, "It seems these two can change the mood of the camp mighty fast," He mused, his own smile toying on his lips, "What do you plan to do Arthur?"

"What do you mean by that?" Arthur grumbled as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat, admittedly wary of approaching the two. He still didn't know where he stood with Elizabeth and the two kids.

"They're your kids ain't they? You plan on ever taking responsibility?"

"She dont want me Dutch, certainly don't want me around her kids," in his mind he kept beating himself up for all the stupid decisions he made, wanting to fix them, but didnt know how. Since he left the mansion yesterday, guilt has been eating away at his mind as he wanted to be there for them. How he so desperately wanted this, wanted this family now that he knew he had one.

"Don't be a fool son, Eliza is still sweet on you after all these years," Dutch boldly claimed as he offered a cigarette to Arthur, to which he took appreciatively. Though he wanted some whiskey as well.

"Please do tell me how?"

"I can see it in her eyes Arthur, now her words are harsh, but she is a mother looking out for her kids. Just take a look at James name, his middle name is Arthur. If that doesn't tell you anything son, then you really do just know how to shoot."

Dutch left him after that to think over what he said. Was Elizabeth still sweet on him or was Dutch just being Dutch? It has to mean something that Elizabeth gave James his name as well, even if it is just something tiny. Groaning, Arthur walked over to where the whiskey was and grabbed himself a bottle before finding a comfortable spot near another fire camp nearby, not wanting to be around the gang right now. Though he wanted to spend some time with the twins, but he supposed he'll wait for his turn.

However, while Arthur was drinking his sorrow away, a certain somebody managed to sneak up from behind him, though not intentionally, when James stepped on a branch and it snapped, Arthur turned around quicker than an Arabian horse trying to knock you down. Surprised by the man's sudden action, James stayed still, blue eyes wide like saucers as he timidly waved at Arthur. The older man realised who it was and mentally cursed himself for spooking the boy, but covered it up with a cough, "Nice to meet you again James. How you liking the camp?"

James recovered from his initial shock and sat on the makeshift chair in front of Arthur, placing his hands on his knees as he rubbed it, "Everyone seems nice and most have been friendly, but I don't really like a big group like that. Rosie fits right in though," He muttered, but Arthur heard him. Heard how tired he sounded.

Chuckling, Arthur put down the whiskey bottle as he stretched his back slightly, "Well that's the gang alright. Like family, but they can get real annoying sometimes."

"Not Mama and Rosie, i'm never annoyed of them," James stated, as if trying to defend his small family. Even with him being all shy, he was the only boy in their family and he needed to protect them. After all, he was raised without a father, but Elizabeth tried to fill both roles.

"It's hard to stay annoyed with Eliza, she has this charm to her," Arthur spoke before he could think.

"Did you know Mama?" James asked, completely unaware about their relationship.

Arthur chuckled lightly at the irony of his question as he couldn't help but feel bitter. He so desperately want to claim to be James and Rosie's father, and the only thing stopping him was his insecurities and Eliza, "Knew for awhile, then she left and I haven't seen her in awhile till yesterday," the Outlaw replied vaguely, not knowing if Eliza would appreciate him telling her son about her Outlaw days. The two of them did bad things, but Eliza escaped before she can do anymore bad things.

James nodded, not saying anything for a minute as he gathered his thoughts. His mother's past was always a mystery to him as she would simply say that the past is the past and shouldn't worry about it. His mother also never talked about his father all too often and if she did it would be quick and short answers, "Mama always said my Pa was a good man, but just did bad and stupid things. Rosie and I sometimes wonder if our Pa loved us, but Mama said she was the one who left him."

Words got stuck in Arthur's throat as he stared at the glum look that adorned the younger boys face, he couldn't help but feel like he was responsible for it. However, a small chance of hope lit up within him as Eliza thought he was a good man. Maybe she was just saying it so the kids don't think their father was this horrible guy, but it still made him feel giddy inside. Elizabeth was trying to paint him in a good picture, "Let me tell you this James, whoever your father is, he deeply cares for you and your sister."

"You really think so Sir?"

"He's be a damn right fool is he dont," it was taking everything in him to not up right and say he was their father. He could easily say it, show him a picture of when Eliza and him were together, but Elizabeth would most likely bring a pack of wolves down on him. Plus, he had no right to, Eliza's been the one raising these kids.

"What was Mama like before she had us?" This was the young boys chance to learn more about his Mother.

Taking off his hat, Arthur ran his hands through his grimy and oily hair, he made a mental note to go into Valentines and have a bath before he meets Eliza again, "Your mother was a lot like you I guess. Prefers small crowds and don't really like meeting new people. She was a hell of a fisher, caught a fish half the size of her once. I remember she likes reading as well," There was more he could have said, but he'd rather not tell James that his mother was the sharpest shooter out there and was one hell of a robber if she wanted to be.

"Do you like reading Sir?"

"Not really, I write in my journal sometimes. Your mother was the one who bought me one and got me into writing," Eliza didn't appreciate it whenever Arthur would silently fume in anger and would occasionally snap at her or ignore her. So she got Arthur the journal a long time ago as some therapeutic thing he could do whenever he was bothered. Of course she was still with John at the time. The first couple of pages he wrote was about his jealousy towards the male and his desire to be with Eliza.

That was something he did not want anyone to read.

"Mama writes in journals a lot to!" James said excitedly as he glum expression brightened up, "She always rights in it everyday and had over a dozen of them journals. Though Mama won't ever let me or Rosy read it. Said it was personal."

*****

What in the world did I just do? I allowed Rosie and James to go with Hosea to wherever the camp was. Hosea said it was near Valentines, and that's so far away. I'm terrified for them, the world is such a cruel and unfair place, but I trust Hosea to keep them safe. Plus, Arthur knows he's the father to them so I only pray if any danger comes to them he'll protect them. It's unfair of me to think like that, after all I basically told Arthur that I didn't want him involved with them.

However, as each days past, the kids grow more curious of their father and with that curiosity they want to know who he is. I can only make so much excuses before they get angry at me and demand for real answers.

Maybe Arthur will say something to them during their stay there? Maybe he'll tell them he's their father, and I don't know if I'll be angry, happy or I just don't know. Since they were born I always thought of the possibility of the four of us being a happy family, but then I am thrown back to reality whenever their actions are the talk of the town. Is it selfish of me to want Arthur to change? Is it wrong of me to want him to leave the gang and be with the three of us? The world is so dangerous for Outlaws and I don't want my kids to be live that life.

Guess I aint doing a good job, about to invite a bunch of them to live with us. I use to think I was doing the right thing, that I was raising them right, but as I grow older and so does my kids, I keep questioning if I ever did the right thing. Maybe if I didn't let my selfishness get in the way, my kids could have grown up with a father. It would have been embarrassing to stick around, and only have Arthur be with me just cause of the kids. But, if it meant my kids would have been happy, I would happily do anything to embarrass myself.

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ezrisdax-archive · 7 years ago

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a new standard

It takes a while for Michael to get used to Tilly. That's not necessarily a bad thing. (also here on ao3)

Tilly- Syliva, or Syl if that’s what you want to call me as Tilly had insisted Michael call her – waved at her when she arrived in the mess hall.

“Michael!” Tilly voice was far too loud and bright given the hour of the day and some of the other officers shot her confused or dirty looks but she didn’t seem to notice. “Over here.”

Michael sighed to herself, getting her food and making her way to the table where Tilly sat. She supposed it was better than sitting alone, at least Tilly no longer viewed her as ‘the mutineer’. Now she seemed to be actively trying to include Michael to make up for her previous behaviour.

“Did you sleep okay? I mean I slept okay, but then I know I might have been snoring and that might have been annoying and-”

“Tilly.” Michael cut off another rambling bout. “I slept fine.”

“Oh.” Tilly broke out in to another smile. “That’s good then. Do you know what you’re working on today, you’re coming back to the science lab right?”

“That’s what I’ve been ordered to.” Michael agreed, taking a sip from her tea.

“Do you like it there?” It seemed like no matter how short Michael’s answers were Tilly was determined to bring her in to the conversation.

“I enjoy looking at scientific advancement.” Michael admitted. “I’m curious to know what’s out there.”

“I thought that you were raised by Vulcans?” Tilly tilted her head and scrunched up her nose a little, it was almost cute. Michael hid a small smile by taking another sip of her tea at that. “I mean I know Vulcans love science but aren’t you not supposed to enjoy stuff? Oh no.” Tilly flushed suddenly, “That was insensitive, oh this is why I’m never going to be a first contact mission.” Tilly bemoaned, dropping her head.

“It’s fine.” Michael assured her though secretly she thought Tilly might be right and not suited for a first contact mission. Her throat felt tight as she continued. “Captain Georgiou encouraged me to embrace some human aspects of exploration.” She didn’t mention that she was only really expressing it now in the wake of Philippa’s death.

“You really admired her.” Tilly said quietly, fiddling idly with her fork. “I’m sorry.”

Michael swallowed hard, “Thank you.” She replied quietly in kind. Tilly squirmed in the ensuing silence but didn’t say anything else, leaving Michael to her thoughts.

“You’re still here.” Tilly said somewhere behind Michael, sliding up beside her.

“Since you’ve found me here, then logically yes I am.” Michael responded, not moving her gaze away from her screen.

“C’mon.” Tilly yawned widely and Michael glanced at her from the corner of her eye. Her hair was back down in it’s many curls instead of up in a bun like usual and she was dressed in her pajamas.

“Did you walk through the hallway like that?” Michael asked furrowing her brow and turning to face Tilly.

Tilly glanced down and then her eyes widened. “Oh no. Oh no I did. Do you think anyone saw me?” She was beat red though the blue light cast by the screen turned her more purple. “I just woke up and you weren’t there and I got worried.” She glanced back at the door, biting her lip in worry and Michael could tell she was thinking if she ran into anyone while in the corridors.

Michael shut down her screen and reached out to touch Tilly’s arm to get her attention. “Come on, I know a way back that shouldn’t have anybody around.” She’d learned it because she could tell she was making people uncomfortable and even the glares got tiring after a while.

Tilly grabbed at her wrist as Michael led the way and babbled on about how she was glad that Michael knew where she was going and her vision at night was so poor. Michael mostly tuned it out, leading them back to their shared room.

Once they were in she made move to go back out but Tilly stopped her with her hold still on Michael’s wrist. “You’re not going back are you?”

“I still have work to do.” Michael said and tried to gently remove her wrist. She didn’t actually want to hurt Tilly after all.

“You need some sleep.” Tilly said and raised her head stubbornly which only lasted for a second before she met Michael’s eyes. “Please?”

Michael held in her sigh and nodded. “Very well.” She’d see if she could sneak out when Tilly was asleep again.

Tilly beamed at her and let go of her wrist and Michael suddenly felt cold but knew logically it was just because of the sudden absence of warmth where it had been. She rubbed at her wrist anyway.

“You know Michael I’m glad you’re my roommate.” Tilly said between another yawn as she slipped back under her covers. “It was pretty lonely in here.”

Michael hesitated for a second. “I was…lonely as well.” She had been. It hurt to say but with the ostracization from the rest of it reminded her of her years on Vulcan never being accepted by her peers. On the Shenzhou Philippa had always been there as her friend and mentor. Discovery felt empty in that way.

“Well now you’ve got me.” Tilly said and there wasn’t a hint of doubt in her voice. “Night Michael.” The lights overhead turned off at Tilly’s command and Michael laid on her bed, thinking.

“Good night Tilly.” She said after a few minutes when she was sure that Tilly was still asleep anyway. It wasn’t Vulcan of her to admit her loneliness but it sure felt human.

She took a deep breath, purging all emotions from her mind as she’d been taught as a child. The warm assurance that Tilly was there however remained. The snoring from the other side of the room helped with that.

The tricorder was long since broken and Michael’s right arm was burning with whatever acid had dripped on to it. Tilly was pressed against her other side with Michael’s left arm slung over her shoulder and was rambling on about how much trouble they were in.

Michael wished, not for the first time, that she was a Vulcan so she could help calm Tilly down.

“Breathe.” She murmured in Tilly’s ear instead and Tilly sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“Okay. Okay. What do we do?” Tilly still sounded worried but at least not as panicked as before.

“We need to contact the others. We’ll have to set up a distress beacon. I can walk you through it.” With her right arm out of use currently she couldn’t do it.

Tilly helped her get seated on a piece of rubble on the planet they’d landed on. They’d answered a distress beacon of their own only to find it was a trap for some kind of alien gladiatorial arena where they forced species to fight each other.

Michael had bested whatever species had hurt her arm with it’s poison and Tilly had been quick to blow a hole in the arena with chemicals she found around them and gotten them out but they were still in trouble wandering the world aimlessly and no idea where their crewmates were.

Tilly listened as Michael instructed her, every second it hurt to talk more and more and she had feeling the poison was spreading. She wanted to shut her eyes and just succumb to sleep to not feel the pain but she knew she had to stay awake.

“You don’t look so good.” Tilly said once the beacon was set up and she’d rushed to Michael’s side again. “This isn’t good.” She had pushed up Michael’s sleeve and the poison was indeed running up her arm now. “It hurts doesn’t it?” She didn’t let Michael answer. “That’s a stupid question of course it does. I’m sorry I asked it. Is there…anything I can do?” Her eyes looked wet as she looked at Michael, close to tears.

Michael gritted her teeth before she answered to steel herself from the pain. “We just have to wait until we’re answered.”

Tilly hovered over her, fluttering between her and the beacon and looking more desperate as the minutes ticked by.

Michael licked her lips, “Tilly-” She paused, “Syliva.”

Tilly’s head shot up at her first name, her mouth dropped open in surprise.

“If I don’t make it-” Michael began.

“You’re going to!” Tilly blurted out before she could continue. “You’re going to and, and, I’ll bring you plomeek soup! And read you Alice in Wonderland while you’re stuck in medbay and um.” Tilly stopped, her shoulders falling. “You can’t die.”

Michael laughed quietly, more a huff under her breath than anything else at the idea of Tilly annoying the other patients in medbay as she’d constantly visit Michael. She’d constantly be there and Michael knew it.

Before she could answer though a ship’s light felt over them, wind whipping around them as the ship landed.

“Looks like you’ll have to.” Michael said drily and Tilly wiped at her eyes to get rid of the tears though it did no good. She helped Michael get up and to the ship, staying right next to her the whole ride back even as medical poked at her.

True to her word Tilly was there every second she could be and they’d eventually kicked Michael out to recuperate in their room instead. She was off the duty roster for one week and it was making her feel twitchy but Tilly came back after the shift with padds of data for her to look at and stories of what they’d done that day.

She sat on Michael’s bed, right next to Michael. The first time she’d done it Michael had shifted even closer to the wall and been somewhat annoyed. Now she pressed right against Tilly as they looked over the data.

She was still scrolling through it as Tilly fell asleep on her bed and Michael knew she should wake her so Tilly could move to her own and not have to worry about possible rashes but a few minutes couldn’t hurt.

Her right hand still hung at her side as she scrolled with her left and her fingers brushed by Tilly’s own, taking in the comforting warmth.

At some point they’d moved to Tilly’s bed over the course of the weeks so that when Tilly inevitably fell asleep all Michael would have to do was move over to her own. She usually still ended up staying there for a little while longer.

Some nights Tilly’s head would drop on to her shoulder and Michael would stiffen for a second before allowing it.

She knew logically this wasn’t just what friends would do and she was staring too long at Tilly these days, noting the shape of her lips as she smiled and the flush in her cheeks as she laughed. Perhaps at some point something would come of it, she’d noticed Tilly staring more as well.

If it did, she thought with her fingers entwined with Tilly’s as they’d gotten somewhere between the afternoon, she didn’t think she’d mind it at all.

#michael burnham #sylvia tilly #dsc spoilers #mylvia #tillham #okay they need a ship name #beej writes

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mavwrekmarketing · 8 years ago

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A few weeks ago, Dries Buytaert, founder of the popular open-source CMS Drupal, asked Larry Garfield, a prominent Drupal contributor and long-time member of the Drupal community, to leave the Drupal project. Why did he do this? He refuses to say. A huge furor has erupted in response not least because the reason clearly has much to do with Garfields unconventional sex life.

More specifically, Garfield is into BDSM. Even more specifically, hes a member of the Gor community, an outr subculture of an outr subculture, one built around a series of thirty-odd books by John Norman which are, basically, John Carter of Mars meets Fifty Shades of Grey. Essentiallyas I understand ita community who are interested in, and/or participate in, elaborate (consensual!) sexual subjugation fantasies, in which men are inherently superior to women. I know all this because of Garfields lengthy public response to his ouster, self-deprecatingly titled TMI about me:

Yes, I am one of those people Despite the total lack of evidence that alternative lifestyle cultures offer any harm to anyone, there is still a great deal of prejudice and bigotry regarding it someone, I do not know who, stumbled across my profile on a private, registration-required website for alternative-lifestyle people that information made it to the Community Working Group (CWG), who concluded there was no code of conduct violation present for [them] to take any action on in my first contact with Dries, he asked me to step down from Drupal Drupal has been the cornerstone of my career for the past nearly 12 years Dries wouldnt budge on me leaving, including making it clear that it wasnt an option, but an instruction informing me that Id been summarily dismissed from my position as track chair and as a speaker at DrupalCon, per [my] conversation with Dries here I am, being bullied, harassed, and excluded because of my personal activities, which I dont even publicize much less advocate for in tech circles.

Buytaert (who is also co-founder and CTO of Acquia, a Drupal platform which has raised ~$175 million over the years and has been struggling to IPO for a few years now) retorts:

when a highly-visible community members private views become public, controversial, and disruptive for the project, I must consider the impact all people are created equally. [sic] I cannot in good faith support someone who actively promotes a philosophy that is contrary to this any association with Larrys belief system is inconsistent with our projects goals I recused myself from the Drupal Associations decision [to dismiss Garfield from his conference role] Many have rightfully stated that I havent made a clear case for the decision I did not make the decision based on the information or beliefs conveyed in Larrys blog post.

Sigh. This sad mess is something of a perfect storm of Code of Conduct conflicts. It is one which raises a number of interesting questions. It also raises several quite boring ones, so lets get them out of the way:

Does this matter? (Isnt this just prurient clickbait?)

Is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member for being involved in BDSM, or other forms of unconventional but consensual adult sexual behavior?

More generally, is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member purely because their belief system perhaps better described as a complicated fantasy milieu in which they happen to spend their personal time was doxxed?

These questions are boring not because they are unimportant, but because the answers are so obvious: yes (no), hell no, and hell no.

Ill unpack the first: open-source communities/projects are crucially important to many peoples careers and professional lives cf the cornerstone of my career so who they allow and deny membership to, and how their codes of conduct are constructed and followed, is highly consequential.

I really, really hope I dont have to unpack the two hell nos. But in case I do, let me quote this excellent blog post from Nadia Eghbal:

In the past, Dries mightve kicked Larry out because BDSM is a threat to family values. Today, leaders like Dries kick Larry out because BDSM is a threat to gender equality. Unfortunately, the end result is the same Beliefs are not actions. We cannot persecute people for what they believe, no matter how much it disgusts us, and simultaneously maintain a free and open democracy If diversity is our dogma, call me spiritual, not religious. I still pray for the same things as you, but I wont be at the witch trials.

Which is brilliantly put and I hope settles the previous questions. However. The Garfield Situation also raises two questions which are far more complex and interesting:

Under what circumstances, and via what kind of due process, is it OK for communities to publicly condemn people for secret reasons?

Is it OK to ban/ostracize community members for (legal) behavior which occurs entirely outside the community?

Obviously sometimes organizational decisions have to be made based on information that must remain confidential, for legal or ethical reasons. But if youre making such a decision, you really have to do so in the right way. What is the right way?

Probably something close to the opposite of what Buytaert and the Drupal Association did. Even if their decision was correct, which currently seems at best suspect, their complete lack of process transparency, and Buytaerts vaguely worded hinting-without-really-saying-anything statement, makes it very hard to have any faith in it.

Their accusations are so vague nonexistent non-accusations, really that Dries & co. could surely have told the community substantially more (indeed, anything) about Garfields problematic behavior, if any, without revealing sensitive information. For instance, they could have said theyd received reports of threats, harassment, or coercion by Garfield, if any such reports existed. They have said nothing of the sort.

(For what its worth, a well-informed source of mine reports: Its worth noting that a handful of women who worked with Larry did not report harassment or abuse from him in the workplace. We cant know for sure if he committed offenses, but if there were allegations or even rumors of his mistreatment of women we would be having a very different conversation right now.)

They could also have cited which elements of the Drupal Code of Conduct he violated, if any. They have not done so but theyve expelled him anyhow. Isnt that Code of Conduct, and its associated Conflict Resolution Policy, supposed to be what dictates the rules of behavior and interaction in the community? Doesnt overruling that written code with arbitrary decisions made for secret reasons reveal that in practice it is an irrelevance with no actual weight or importance?

I reached out to Buytaert in the hope of clarification; he did not respond.

Its hard not to get the impression, from the little that we do know, and the manner in which it has been miscommunicated, that whats actually deemed unacceptable here is that Garfields kink has spilled outside of his personal life i.e. that his real sin is that he was doxxed. Which, as noted, is firmly in hell no territory.

It is of course entirely possible that this impression is incorrect, and that Buytaert and the Drupal Association have done the right thing. But they have offered no evidence, no arguments, and no reasons for their decision. It seems obvious to me that they have a moral obligation to their community to do so. You cant ban people without at least sketching the outline of what it is they did wrong. Just trust us is not enough

especially since it also seems possible that the CTO and co-founder of a heavily funded pre-IPO company has participated in expelling a man from what his been his professional community for the last twelve years, ignoring that communitys own Code of Conduct and Conflict Resolution Policy, because it was decided he was guilty of, essentially, thoughtcrime; that no real accusations have been made, and no allegations of problematic behavior have been cited, because none such exist.

A third plausible scenario, based on the tea leaves of Buytaerts phrase actively promotes, is that Garfield has been banned for expressing views outside the Drupal community which are deemed unacceptable inside. This is not a new issue in the open-source world: I wrote about it last year, in the context of Curtis Yarvin and Opalgate:

Should communities accept people who hold repugnant views, as long as they dont express them within that community? Or should they be expelled, because its assumed that their views influence their community work in a negative way, or because their presence makes other people feel unsafe?

Personally, both answers make me feel deeply uneasy. Humans are messy, complex, and contradictory; human interactions are that squared; the results are so complex and context-sensitive that they often need to be judged on a case-by-case basis, rather than by any hard-and-fast rule.

although in those cases, the views in question were clearly expressed publicly, not privately, and were not intended as part of any BDSM fantasy world. Does that apply here? Who knows? Certainly not the Drupal community.

Its impossible to judge the Garfield situation, because all we are permitted to know is that it has been prejudged for us, by people who refuse to tell us anything about either their evidence or their decision process. It is, however, very easy to judge whether the people who have made and communicated this decision are, by the way they have done so, actually serving their community. And that answer is, once again, Im sorry to say: hell no.