#just as he says he really IS a mass of contradictions sometimes--which explains why he seeks out someone that's firmly grounded

[candy8448]

So i rambled for way longer than i thought i would and may have gone totally off track from where the original post went. I just had to talk with my own ongoing experience with religion and how i was made to learn about it. ill just copy and paste the last paragraph as a tldr

TLDR: Its useless to raise your child as a christian if all you are doing is enforcing routine and rules without giving a reason or meaning for them, in fact, it can leave them more lost and leave them to either abandon it, or force them to pick up pieces on their own.

---------

I agree, but depending on how its done, it can be way too overbearing. I grew up in an extremely orthodox christian family and my mum was really strict in what we had to do.

Of course praying and going to church is important but the problem was that we would go to an arabic church so when i was little, indid not understand a word, and that's why i started to feel that church was a massive waste of time. It was meaningless to me and even when we went to an english mass, my mum didn't explain what was going on so i still didnt understand the meaning of what was being said and still found it a waste of time. (I still to this day get irritated when going to church because of this, old thoughts stick sometimes)

My mum also wouldn't teach us the meaning of praying properly. Obviously its talking to God but to me it was just reading words that made no sense to me from a pre-made book. I never learned how to acctually open my heart to God and actually feel like im talking to him.

Those were the main reasons why i hated being a christian, i was just not taught what any of it meant in a way i could understand and it was being pushed way too strictly onto me and too often when i didnt even know what the point was.

I also cant bring myself to go to confession because sure, maybe a priest has permission to forgive sins but i thought God was able to hear us praying and that if we really wanted to be forgiven, surely God will understand if we do it through prayer and not have to talk to someone about our sins, surely he understands how difficult it can be confronted by another human who you feel is still on a human level and therefore has no reason to hear what i want God to hear?

Many questions ive had have been dismissed by my mum and by others at church by "it's what God wants us to do" or "it's what's in the Bible" when i wanted a meaning behind it. And when i express my doubts of being christian, they just "solve" it by enforcing everything harder, which is what drew me away in the first place, even when i express what the problem is.

Ive also noticed way too many things im told to do or beliefs that are told i should believe that i feel directly contradict something else ive heard before or what im taught that God is like and it just makes the entire idea of the Bible so trivial to me.

I will admit, i do still feel doupt about being a christian. Dont get me wrong, i certainly believe in God and that he exists, there is no doupt in that, but i still find it difficult to do "what the Bible says" because ive never been given a reason to care about it.

And ive been trying to figure out how to fix that, but the problem is that i have to on my own. I pay attention to church now, but only because im old enough to be able to decipher the meaning on my own. I never feel close when im "praying" where i force myself into a room and read out pre-written psalms from the agpya, i feel close to God when i have a question for him randomly in the car, and i just stop my thoughts to ask them, and even if i dont get a direct answer, i often feel much better, or when i feel like i need to say something to him while im walking randomly, but all i was taught was to robotically read out stuff to "speak to God" instead of being taught that maybe prayer doesnt need to be a structured thing to be real.

Ive had to figure it all out on my own, and still i have so many unanswered questions and so many doupts because my mum never actually taught me the meanings behind them.

Its useless to raise your child as a christian if all you are doing is enforcing routine and rules without giving a reason or meaning for them, in fact, it can leave them more lost and leave them to either abandon it, which i was so close to doing many times before, or force them to pick up pieces on their own.

Yes i believe in God and many things ive been told again and again stuck with me, and i still think certain things that i was taught all because i was raised "like a christian", it is better than raising your kid completely without it if you believe in it, but i really think that if you are going to raise your kid as a christian, then really do raise them as a christian and not raise them like following a rulebook

Also allow the child to make their own interpretation on what they learn, the Bible has been translated hundreds of times and meaning can change. Let them contradict you if they think something different as long as it doesnt hurt anyone (being lgbt+ for example doesnt hurt anybody!) Being a christian to me is having your own connection with God, not being forcefed beliefs even if you do explain them properly.

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” – The Family: A Proclamation to the World

I’ve seen a lot of people giving up on the idea of the family and the gospel lately, so I felt like I should share. There is nothing broken about the ideal of a family with a father and mother and children, all striving to live as Jesus taught. Not all families look like this, and not all families that try to follow the gospel are happy, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the idea. It is still worth striving for.

If you ever worry that you are somehow doing your child a disservice by teaching them what you believe and encouraging them to follow the commandments you believe in, consider whether they would really be happier without it, and whether they would find it on their own. Without your active, positive influence, they will be far more susceptible to the adversary, who will not step back just because you do. He does not have their best interests in mind. The world needs parents who care enough to show their children the path. It is up to the child to decide whether to walk it.

[into-daylight-hope]

Qui-Gon Jinn: Certified Hypocrite, Fascinating Failure, Mass of Contradictions

For starters, I am just going to let direct quotes from the man speak for itself.

Some excerpts from Master & Apprentice

Wise words.

Wait a minute...

😯😯 What the hell is happening here? All quotes are from the same man in one book.

Qui-Gon Jinn doesn't have an ounce of self-awareness and it is so hilariously terrible.

What is even better (or worse), this is perfectly in line with The Phantom Menace characterization .

I mean,

Remember when he said all this than spent the rest of the movie obsessing over prophecies, the chosen one and literally the future?

"He still has so much to learn of the living force." Qui-Gon Jinn about Obi-Wan in the council scene

After that scene

"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it why can't you?" Obi-Wan Kenobi about Anakin Skywalker to Qui-Gon Jinn

You see Obi-Wan, Master Jinn here has completely lost any sense of "here and now" between his crusade against darkness and divine mission to save the Galaxy.

This in turn, unsurprisingly blinds him to the fact Anakin is not suitable to become a Jedi. Or at least not ready to directly move on to becoming a padawan.

Anakin himself would suffer in a road that is not meant for him. But he is not planning for Anakin the child. He is thinking about The Glorious Chose One.

He is the chosen one. You all must, see it.

And yet from Qui-Gon's perspective it is Obi-Wan who doesn't understand the Living Force.

I have to say if he is truly a student of the living force as many fans claim he has been failing the class for at least 8 years.

Let's move on to another set of entertaining and horrifyingly oblivious quotes from M&A.

If you look upward you can observe Mr. Here and Now in his natural habitat.

He really acts like future is set in stone than thinks he is the right person to talk about about concentrating in the moment. Unbelievable.

Let's look at this dialogue again. In contrast with the excerpt from above.

He is all about the future when it suits him. But when Obi-Wan makes a remark on it he obviously should just focus on the moment. This is actually the third time in this post where he contradicts himself while specifically chastising or criticizing Obi-Wan for something Qui-Gon actually does.

Now I don't think Qui-Gon acts with malice. But it is important to point out his obliviousness has become a way of ensuring he is never in the wrong.

He suffers from an immense hubris. And a man obsessed with prophecies and chosen ones definitely has some kind of savior complex.

But notably Jinn doesn't actually want to put any effort into enacting real change with his limited yet existent capabilities.

He turns down a council seat in M&A because he thinks it would hold him down. From what? Dear God, the reason they offered him a seat was for different opinions. Qui-Gon can complain all he wants but one time he actually had a chance to make his opinions a reality he freaking bailed.

Why? He doesn't want to face his own limits. He can't bare to try and fail. It is much easier to sustain a superiority complex when you are complaining from the sidewalk.

So he fixates all this belief onto prophecies, visions that will magically cure the Galaxy. And of course his place to help fulfill them. To the point where it is the one thing that keeps him standing.

He has binded meaning of his life and belief for goodness dangerously close to his supposed importance in the Galaxy. (You can feel the influences of his former master)

His absolute refusal to engage with reality turns him into mass of contradictions. Cause he doesn't know what he will find or become if he is mistaken in his belief of himself.

He can't face reinvention on the event of defeat.

But this situation was different. It had to be, because the only thing Qui-Gon knew to be absolutely true was that his vision was real.

Oh by the way, it turned out he misunderstood the vision. But when does being wrong ever stopped Qui-Gon Jinn?

No words.

Only Qui-Gon could have come near declaring himself a prophet after making a mistake. Maybe stop and reflect man? Just stop and think about your actions.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I have a bad feeling about this.

Qui-Gon Jinn: I don't sense anything.

Of course you don't.

Honestly he doesn't have much to speak for in the cosmic force department either.

(There is the whole force ghost thing I guess. But I have no idea if that is more connected with living or cosmic force. It seems to be more about spiritual enlightenment. Which is ridiculous when you consider Yoda had go through so many trials, face his darkside, learn to truly let go just for Force priestesses to deem him worthy enough to study immortality. Yes Qui-Gon never became a force ghost but he had started his training before he died. And much of Yoda's tests on TCW was about self-awareness. It is not just about being a good person. How did Force Priestesses approve Qui-Gon "I was meant to misinterpret this vision." Jinn? I would understand if he became wiser after death and faced his flaws and all but he never was on that level before he died. You might say even Anakin became a force ghost. But I would remind you, Anakin in the end broke out of denial, acknowledged the wrong of his ways and took that leap to the light side. Self-awareness seems such an important key to becoming a force ghost. Right there with selflessness. Personally it doesn't quite feel right for a character whose biggest flaws are their lack of introspection and hubris which we never see him rise above to be the one that discovers immortality again. It feels more like a rushed plot point to explain how we get from A to B.)

This post got out of control 😂. I honestly just wanted to point out lack of communication might be one of the reasons Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have trouble understanding each other but it is sometimes even harder to understand Qui-Gon when he actually says something. Cause ration is not what drives him.

Qui-Gon is such a complex character. He is undeniably good especially compared to other SW characters. Yet for all fandom's deifying he might be the most flawed Jedi we see on the franchise. (The ones that fell to the dark side not included.)

It is a shame wider fandom completely write off his flaws to the degree I can't even recognize the character when they talk about Jinn. Cause that Qui-Gon is so hard to feel empathy for.

When people constantly make statements like "He is The Wisest sw character." his hypocrisy stops being amusing. It doesn't end on screen or page instead often used to bash other characters.

An unbelievable analysis from Wookiepedia:

When Jinn saved the Gungan exile Jar Jar Binks, who in turn swore a life-debt to him, his compassionate nature was such that Jinn took the hapless Gungan under his wing, much to Kenobi's dismay. His empathy toward all life forms, including the most pitiful and unfortunate, was Jinn's greatest strength. Additionally, he remained understanding and patient with Queen Padmé Amidala. During the short time they knew each other, he never asked for her to do more than she was willing to.

You know out of the two, Qui-Gon was the one who insulted Jar Jar to his face. And he didn't took Jar Jar under his wing. They forced him to take them to a city where Jar Jar could have been punished for entering. Now it was the pragmatic thing to do. For all three's survival not for their own gain. Understandable. But compassion is just pushing it.

Also he never asked Padme to do more than she was willing to do?

Padmé : Are you sure about this? Trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know? The Queen will not approve.

Qui-Gon Jinn : The Queen does not need to know.

Padmé : Well, I don't approve.

And he is aware she is the queen, herself. Padme was nearly tearing out her because of this man in TPM.

What is weird, Jinn in his bewildering hypocrisy probably thinks he is being admirably compassionate with Jar Jar, highly understanding and patient with Padme. We clearly see he is not.

Out of universe he has been a force ghost for decades now but fandom is nowhere near acknowledging his flaws than he is.

And honestly SW doesn't have that many major morally complex characters. People like Maul, Palpatine, Anakin,Ventress don't think they are serving a higher purpose or oblivious to the evils they commit.

Emotionally complicated, yes. Going through moral dilemmas, no.

Three major characters come to mind who make huge mistakes, condone or commit atrocities while thinking they are in the right/with good intentions/for a greater cause. With varying degrees of culpability.

Qui-Gon. Padme. Dooku.

In that order.

Let these characters be interesting instead of demonizing nearly inhumanly selfless Jedi characters. (They make mistakes too but funnily enough they are still way better beings than most people on our planet.)

By the way I found the epitaph "Fascinating Failure" from the article here. Especially the last paragraphs make some interesting points. ⬇️

👀

This post might seem harsh but that is expected since it focuses on Qui-Gon's flaws.

"People are more than their worst act,” Quote from Qui-Gon Jinn in Master & Apprentice

[being-worthy]

Saturday Home Cinema: Mulan (2020) - A very honest review!

I just had to write this review because Mulan is one of my heroes and I’m a huge fan of the original Disney Mulan (1998). I saw the movie for the first time as a kid when I had trouble feeling integrated and was daily bullied at school. I re-watched it again and again and again until I was able to learn by heart the script and all the songs in German (and later on, even in English). I just saw so much of myself in Mulan (maybe except for the fact that I’m not as beautiful or witty as she is). I too always felt out of place and I couldn’t be my true self and I was never very ladylike either. I also looked up at her and saw her as a role model. Sometimes I thought that if I stared long enough at my reflection in the mirror, it’d show me my true self - and I’m still waiting to this day… Disney’s 1998 version of Mulan was and still is my favourite Disney movie.

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, especially at the end. Christina Aguilera was the right choice to sing Reflection and Loyal Brave True. The goosebumps her voice gives, I can’t even describe how extraordinary her voice is. In the end credits, you can listen to the English version of Reflection as well as the Chinese version (sadly sung by Liu Yifei  ¬¬). It’s worth to watch the end credits and listen to the songs.

*My suggestion: Stop whatever you’re doing. Put on some headphones (even better if they’re noise-cancelling), close your eyes, play the song Reflection song (and Loyal Brave True if you feel like it) by Christina Aguilera, no distractions no interruptions, forget about everything and everyone, let the song flow through your ears, mind, heart, body, and soul, and you will feel like you’re Mulan, especially when the drumming gets louder, it’s epically epic! (Sorry for the redundancy but it IS a remarkable song!)

I welcome the idea of wanting to take a classic and do something new, something fresh with it but humanity could’ve gone without this movie and they shouldn’t ask for $35 to watch it on Disney+ and sometimes a classical doesn’t need to be redone. Additionally, I can’t entirely understand what’s going on these past years not only with Disney but Hollywood and all other big movie production companies. It’s either remake of this classic or a 2nd/3rd sequel of a movie that doesn’t actually require a sequel but it’s still done anyway. Why even bother wasting big amounts of money to create a disaster? You’re better of donating that money to charity (or to me lol). The main thing that Disney has been doing lately are remakes of many of our childhood movies Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, The Jungle Book, The Lion King, among others, and now Mulan. Some have a few good parts in them but they still can’t and never will compare to the original. Why is there no originality and innovation anymore? Have they run out of ideas? Furthermore, let’s be honest people will always compare the remake (either consciously or unconsciously) with the original because there are less than a dozen movies where the remake either was (almost) as good as the original much less better than the original. The movie Mulan (2020) had a massive budget and is the most expensive film made by a female director (Niki Caro), yet how they made it, the battle sequences and CGI effects, etc. they’re all crappy.

Budgets of all Mulan interpretations:

Mulan (1998) - $90 million > Directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. Made $304.3 million in the box office

Hua Mulan (2009) - $12 million > Directed by Jingle Ma. Sadly, made only $1.8 million in the box office. It deserved more love!

Mulan (2020) - $200 million(!!) > All that budget was a waste!

I’ve seen all three versions. The 1998 version is for everybody and it’s funny and you feel with the characters and the film. Let’s be honest, the granny is one of the best characters, most of us have or had a granny like that in our lives. The 2nd one is a 2-hour long movie, a more mature adaption which illustrates the ugly harsh truth about war and the loss and death it brings with it and that there’s nothing funny or cool about it. This one is not suitable for children. You feel with the characters and their sacrifices and they also develop along the movie. I can only recommend to watch this version if you haven’t. And the latest one is a disgrace.

I’m a bit confused as to what the message of the movie is. On one hand, it tells you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty, you shouldn’t hide who you are, you shouldn’t hide your abilities, you shouldn’t try to hide who you truly are in order to conform to what the world/society wants you to be or who you should be, let your true self shine and be yourself and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re inferior just because they think/say you are. This is something powerful and admirable but, on the other hand, at the same time, it tells you that you can only do that if you are the chosen one. Let me explain... In the beginning, we see Mulan as a little girl chasing a chicken up to the roofs of the houses at the village where she lives. Basically, she’s born as a one-woman army (almost deus ex machina) and doesn’t require any further training which is total and utter rubbish. She has all the skills because of her powerful chi (vital life force energy) but has to underplay them because it’s not very ladylike to behave like she wants to and she still underplays them when she trains with the soldiers so as to keep a low profile. Her being so powerful from the beginning makes me feel alienated from her and I can’t empathise with her. It’s also not very realistic, nobody is born with their abilities fully developed. For example, even Bruce Lee had to train hard to get where he got and he wasn’t the only one.

The original version shows us a regular girl, at times clumsy (which is a cliché but we still liked it) and when she’s confronted with new situations, she analyses them and finds a quick canny solution to them. She also has to train her body and mind to get to the peak of her potential and accomplish what nobody else could in her time, and here the character is done from the start of the movie and the only thing she has to do is choose not to hide her chi anymore. This tells us that you don’t have to work hard to achieve your dreams whereas in reality you actually do have to work your butt off!

I’m not a fan of the leading actress they chose for Mulan, aka Liu Yifei, not only because she’s a police brutality supporter according to her controversial tweets a while back - this already makes her unworthy to portray Mulan who is the complete opposite - but also because she didn’t do a good job at depicting this great role. Mulan is a role model for every girl and woman and it’s a massive contradiction if a woman who agrees to the atrocious police methods impersonates her role. What message do we send out to every girl out in the world? In her acting she’s this blank and hollow person through the movie and transmits no emotion whatsoever - not even when she cries. This also makes it difficult for me to identify myself with her. She’s this wooden plank, she is and stays a blank canvas through the whole movie with no growth in her character and it’s frustrating having to see this because the character of Mulan isn’t at all like this. Mulan experiences many emotions from the moment where she makes the decision to enlist so her father doesn’t have to or when she experiences the loss of her comrades or has to kill someone for the first time, etc. she suffers along her journey and all this changes her but you see nothing of it in Liu Yifei’s Mulan.

In the Disney version, there are some crucial moments that are missing in the new one. For instance, the most crucial one is the moment where Mulan decides to go to war. If you remember the animation one, she’s sitting in the rain by the dragon statue and at that moment makes a decision that could kill her or worse bring dishonour to herself and her entire family (including ancestors) which was far worse than death during that time! She gets up, marches to the altar of her ancestors, takes her father’s sword and cuts her hair (I know men had long hair back then too but still), puts on the armour and goes to war. All this while being accompanied by an epic song written by Jerry Goldsmith called Haircut. This is one of the most intense and dramatic moments in the movie and in all Disney movies! You can understand and feel the importance of this decision for the character and you feel the weight of it! In the 2020 one, she takes the sword and the next shot presents her already with the armour on - there’s zero dramatic impact here. That was a great missed opportunity!! By omitting important scenes and their dramatic impacts like this one that are essential to the story and to the characters, to their development and their journey throughout the story and you really need to rely on the original from 1998 to have this context.

The battle scenes are like many modern movies: lots of action, lots of moving (too fast-moving), a few amazing fighting moves and fights but not showed entirely. I at least expected some similar quality, like we’ve seen in films such as Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Tiger & Dragon (2020) to name a few. Sadly, these movies had better fight scenes quality than Mulan which were filmed in high frame rate but over-edited with action that is negatively frenetic and have artificial CGI effects (even the CGI effects in Independence Day were better - I’m watching the movie while writing this). We’re in the 21st century with great advances in technology and movies are given big budgets (particularly Hollywood films), yet despite all this, most movies end up with CGI effects from another era. How come this happens over and over? In this one, we see people running too fast, horses running too fast, and they’re all like a big mass of headless chickens and you don’t know exactly what is happening where. All this fast running, the constant cut and paste of scenes looks all too modern and doesn’t fit the current time period of the movie and it surely doesn’t transmit the way of fighting of that period. 

Moreover, we get lots of flashback-lesson learning scenes throughout the movie. This is another fashion in movies lately, playing the film in the present time while at the same time jumping back and forth between flashbacks. It spends a good portion of the movie with these flashbacks. This is not a big issue and admirable per se but when these scenes are insignificant because they’re glossed over and transmitted without zilch emotion, then why even bother to include them in the first instance?

As a last comment, I like the fact that they hired Chinese actors and actresses for the movie (although I don’t know why it had to be in English, I’d have preferred it to be in Chinese, it’s not like we’re allergic to subtitles - unless they’re not done properly), some of them of renewed name, like Gong Li, Rosalind Chao (I loved her in The Joy Luck Club), Jet Li, Donnie Yen (legendary Ip Man), Jason Scott Lee (saw him in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Tzi Ma but they won’t be able to save the movie even with a great cast like this one. 

[fantastic-rambles]

Fandom: Sk8 the Infinity

Characters: Sakurayashiki Kaoru (Cherry Blossom), Shindo Ainosuke (Adam), Nanjo Kojiro (Joe) (mentioned)

Warnings: Very brief/light angst

Word Count: 2k

Summary: In which (teen) Adam attends a summer festival with Kaoru, who hopes to use the opportunity to deepen their relationship. [LoveBlossom Week 2021 | Day 2: Festival]

Kaoru looked at his watch, ignoring the noise and bustle around him as he glanced down the stairs again. For each minute that ticked past their agreed-upon meeting time, he couldn't help wondering if his friend hadn't been able to make it, after all. Adam had mentioned that he wasn't sure whether he'd be able to come, but he'd urged Kaoru and Kojiro to go regardless of whether he'd be able to attend.

Except that Kojiro had agreed to go with a couple of girls from their class, because he was too nice to say no to them. They'd invited Kaoru, as well, but he'd declined since he wasn't sure how Adam would feel about being in a group with people he didn't know. Which was why he was the only one standing at the entrance, waiting. He didn't look forward to going around by himself, though: if Adam didn't show up, maybe he'd look for Kojiro. Or just go home.

A tap on his shoulder made him look back at someone in a dark blue yukata who stared back at him through a kitsune mask. Their hands were clutching a few treats: cotton candy, a chocolate banana, and a caramel apple.

"Sorry. I got here a little early and thought I'd take a look around first," a familiar, if slightly muffled, voice apologized. His companion pushed the cotton candy into Kaoru's hands before reaching up to push the mask aside. And then Adam's familiar face was looking back at him, smiling as he took his sweets back and took a bite. "So, where to first?"

"What have you seen already?" Kaoru retorted, walking toward the festival. Adam fell in beside him, shrugging expressively.

"I just looked around a bit," Adam replied, waving the cotton candy in Kaoru's face while he took a bite of his banana. "Picked up a mask and a few snacks, looked at the games, and then realized I was late. Sorry again."

Kaoru shook his head dismissively, but he took a bite of the candy anyways, feeling it melt in his mouth in a rush of sugar. He couldn't really fault his friend: Adam was always excitable, but something like this would definitely bring out that more. The crowds, the noise, and the general upbeat atmosphere were something that his friend thrived in, even if he couldn't show off here like he did when he was skating.

Even in the short time that they'd been together, Kaoru had realized that Adam was simply someone who loved life. There was almost a childlike air to the blue-haired boy, as well as a strange naivety that stood in stark contrast to Adam's more jaded attitude. He was a mix of contradictions that Kaoru didn't understand, but he was fine with waiting until Adam was willing to open up to him and Kojiro more. They'd been making some progress, at least, with Adam deciding to show them his face and agreeing to come here, but there was clearly much more that they didn't know about yet.

"What about the games? Did you see any that interested you?" Kaoru asked as they walked along the stalls. And he watched Adam's eyes light up as he nodded and took the lead, making a beeline to a stall with a small crowd crouching in front of it. As they approached, a child stood up and ran past them, holding a bag with two small goldfish inside, and Kaoru smiled wryly. He should have guessed as much.

It was a little too crowded, though, so Kaoru grabbed Adam's sleeve and tugged him aside to wait for some room to open up, explaining the game in an undertone as they watched people struggle to catch the fish.

"Okay, so this is 'goldfish scooping.' You pay for two paper nets and use them to try to pick up fish from the water and put them into a bowl. Any that you scoop up, you can keep," he began quietly. Adam's eyes were fixed on the players and their successes and frustrations, but Kaoru thought he was still listening, so he continued. "The trick is in how you use the net. Theories say that you should slowly submerge it entirely into the water around a 45 degree angle. Make sure that you do get it all the way inside: if it's still dry in places, it's easier to tear. After you get it in the water, you should turn it flat and move it slowly. Try to get it under a fish that's close to the surface, and gently cut through the surface tension to scoop it into your bowl. Smaller fish are easier to catch, since they're lighter. Did you get all that?"

"Yeah," Adam agreed readily, still watching avidly. Kaoru sighed, reaching up to tug his mask back down before collecting the sweets in his own hand, exchanging them with a 100-yen coin.

"Okay, go for it."

Adam approached the tub, sliding into a gap and handing the coin to the old man manning the booth and receiving two nets and a bowl of water in return.

"Gently," Kaoru reminded Adam as he slid the first net into the water. Adam had tilted his head almost parallel to the water--probably because the mask obscured his vision--and held the net still as he seemed to watch the fish dart around. Watching Adam, Kaoru thought he was doing pretty well… until he pulled the net through the water too quickly to try to scoop up one of the fish and the paper tore.

“Here, take these back,” Kaoru ordered, pushing the treats back at Adam. After he was sure that his friend had secured them, he dug around in his pocket for another coin, giving it to the vendor and receiving his own equipment. “Watch what I do.”

He waited for the mask to tilt toward him as he crouched down next to Adam, dipping his own net into the water. He waited with quiet patience that belied his more aggressive behavior when he was skating, holding the bowl close to the surface as he waited for a fish to come within reach. Watching it drift in the water, he carefully brought the net in toward its head, gently guiding it toward the wall of the tub before flicking it into his bowl. Looking over at his friend, he asked, “Did you get that?”

“Can you show me again?” Adam asked, his voice distorted through the plastic of the mask. Kaoru nodded, repeating the process to catch another fish, and then one more before his net tore. He had the stall owner put his fish in a bag before exchanging his remaining net for Adam's snacks and watching his friend try again.

Somehow, Adam managed to barely catch one with his second net, and then another two with the extra one Kaoru had given him. But as the old man reached out for his bowl, Adam seemed to hesitate, tugging his goldfish away and glancing over at Kaoru.

"I can't keep them," he whispered, and the way he sounded so disappointed made Kaoru frown. He should have considered that possibility: he didn't know much about his friend, but he went to a rich kids' school and probably had fairly strict parents. Rather than goldfish, they could have tried some other scooping game... but Adam probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.

"Keep them. We can give them to Kojiro," Kaoru decided. He'd been planning to do that with his own, after all: his childhood friend was much better at taking care of living thing than he was. Even if it was something simple like a plant, Kaoru would sometimes forget to water it until it dried up completely; he certainly didn't want to deal with dead fish. He wished that he could see Adam's face as he offered the bowl to the vendor, sounding more cheerful.

"Bag these for me?" Adam requested, accepting the goldfish he'd won before standing up and looking at Kaoru. "What next?"

They wandered through the festival, grabbing food from stalls and playing other games--catching water yo-yos and a shooting game that Adam proved to be surprisingly good at--as night fell. The crowds grew livelier and more dense, annoying Kaoru, but Adam seemed to be having the time of his life as they wandered through the mass of humanity. Eventually, Kaoru checked his watch before he laid a hand on Adam's arm.

"Come on! The fireworks will start in a little while, so we should find a good place to watch them!" he called out over the sizzling of the yakisoba. Adam nodded, paying the stall owner and receiving a container of steaming noodles and two pairs of chopsticks before following Kaoru away from the press of people. It was a little quieter by the waterfront, and although there were a decent number of people there trying to secure a good view, they managed to get a spot by the railing, leaning against it and staring out at the darkly glittering water.

Together, they picked at the yakisoba in silence, neither of them really hungry but needing something to do. They hadn't managed to cross paths with Kojiro, but Kaoru thought that that was probably for the better. It would be awkward introducing Adam, who kept pulling down his mask before he had any substantial interactions with anyone... and frankly? He was handsome too. If they had run into Kojiro and the girls, they probably wouldn't let them go, and they'd likely keep harassing both Kaoru and Kojiro about their friend in school. Though there was another reason why he'd wanted to be alone with Adam tonight.

"Adam," Kaoru began, watching his friend's head turn toward him. "I--"

A piercing whistle split the air, interrupting him before the two of them turned to look at the streak of light climbing into the sky like reverse lightning. It exploded at its peak into a blooming flower of green and purple while people cheered. But as more fireworks flew into the air, filling the sky with illumination and thunder, Kaoru's eyes remained fixed on Adam's face. His friend's crimson eyes were wide with wonder, reflecting the colors above them, while his skin was lit by the bright glow. Around them, people's voices rose, calling out over the deafening noise that just continued to intensify, but Adam seemed oblivious to them, staring at the show with an expression of pure delight.

And all too soon, it was over, the final rumble of sound fading away as darkness settled around them again. Yet Adam continued to stand at the railing, staring up at the silent, deep blue sky while the crowds dispersed. In the faint light, he still looked awed, and Kaoru smiled a little as he reached out to lay a hand on Adam's.

"You've never seen fireworks before?" he asked quietly, not wanting to disturb Adam, and his friend glanced at him briefly before returning his gaze to the moon and stars.

"Not this close," Adam replied, a little too loudly. He'd dropped the yakisoba at some point--but not, Kaoru noticed with some relief, the goldfish--and after a few more minutes of silent contemplation, Adam finally sighed and returned to earth. His smile was as heart-stoppingly beautiful as it always was when he was at his most charming, and he turned his hand over to grab Kaoru's and squeeze it.

"Thank you, for tonight. It was amazing. I'll never forget it," his friend told him while his eyes sparkled with the enthusiasm of a much younger child. Looking into them, Kaoru couldn't bring himself to possibly shatter the mood: he'd been working up his courage all night for this moment, but it didn't seem right to lay it on Adam at this moment. Whether Adam accepted his confession because of his giddiness, or rejected it because he didn't feel the same way, Kaoru didn't want his friend's memory of tonight to be tarnished by more mundane concerns. So he just smiled back.

"Of course, Adam."

[black-streak]

Waiting For The Worms - The Show Must Go On

Part 4

Sooo, this isn't nearly as dark and has very little angst in comparison to the point I'd almost say it isn't? It's pretty much just an update on life in a way. Which is also part of why it took so long for me to write. Like, the struggle was real. Next chapter will go back to your regularly scheduled heartbreak.

Warnings from chapter 1, while mostly inapplicable for this part, still in effect.

The gallery: @northernbluetongue @thethirdwheelfriend @shizukiryuu @theatreandcomicfreak @michellemagic @karategirl119 @moonlightstar64 @my-name-is-michell @mystery-5-5 @zalladane @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @miraculousdisapointment @dorkus-minimus @jardimazul @allthebooksandcrannies @g-arya @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @persephonescat @mycupisbroken @luciferge @18-fandoms-unite-08 @dawnwave16 @alwaysreblogneverpost @kris-pines04 @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @weird-pale-blonde-person @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @kokotaru @naclychilli @slytherinhquinn @clumsy-owl-4178 @ladybug-182 @darkthunder1589 @evil-elf16 @dast218 @lysslovsanime @emilytopaz @naoryllis @iloontjeboontje @thepeacetea @danielslilangel @finallyaniguana @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff @vixen-uchiha @yuulxd @bleeding-heart-romantic @magic-inthe-stars @st0rmy-w1th1n

~---~

The next year of Jason's life was hectic to say the least.

It started with the downfall of Lila Rossi. Which consequently, he had no part in. She stepped on the wrong toes, made a few too many contradictions and suddenly a pile of lawsuits were stacked against her. Her mother went completely ape shit on her and pulled her out immediately to be shipped off to a very strict boarding school. More like a juvenile detention center if the rumors were true.

For the first month, no one approached him. The guilty, stricken looks upon his classmates' faces told a million stories of apologetic remorse, but since becoming a jaded, snarky outcast, 'Marinette' was no longer the person you could give a simple apology to and expect forgiveness. And no one wanted to be the first to get shot down.

Eventually, the first apology came. Surprisingly, Alya tried to win his favor. She groveled and apologized up and down on how terrible she and Lila had been and named every reason in the book as to why she had reacted and treated Marinette the way she did in an attempt to explain herself. While it wasn't necessarily surprising that she would be the first to not fear him, it was shocking she saw the error of her ways so soon with all that bull headed ego she carried around.

Bravery got her nowhere, however, as Jason only lifted an eyebrow, arms crossed as he leaned back, and calmly replied.

"Cool story, still betrayal."

As the girl sputtered before him, he turned back towards Chloe, continuing to make their plans for the day. After two minutes had passed and Alya still stood there hunting for her words, he turned back.

"Can you leave? Sometime today would be nice."

And so the precedent was set. While it took another week for someone else to approach, they seemed spurred on by the ease of Alya's dismissal. Suppose they figured if the biggest offender only got mild verbal abuse and dismissal, things had to go more smoothly for them.

Nino came next, awkward shuffling and avoided eye contact included. He pushed through his apology, beating around the bush and trying to defuse the situation at the same time he built it up. It only served to piss Jason off. They deserve better than this. At least meet her eyes if you're going to apologize and expect me to believe it.

"Uh… Marinette? Did you hear me?"

"I'm sorry, were you talking to me? I assumed you were talking to the desk next to me and minded my business. Would hate to be accused of eavesdropping."

He flinched at the reminder and finally looked him in the eye.

"I'm sorry. What we did was wrong. What I did was wrong and I am so beyond sorry for it. There is no excuse for my behavior."

"You're right. There isn't. Do better in the future."

"I will!," he rushed to reassure Jason, voice hopeful, "Does this mean we can be friends again?"

"No. Do better for those who chose to be your friend in the future."

"Oh… okay, yeah, that's fair," Nino gave a downtrodden look and wandered off.

Next came Sabrina and Rose, who didn't so much as apologize to him, but instead tried to reattach themselves to Chloe and Juleka's sides as if nothing had happened at all. This might not have thrown Chloe in the slightest, but poor Juleka looked a moment from having an anxiety attack. Chloe made short work of both girls, dismissing them entirely and when Rose started to cry and stare at Juleka for reassurance that everything was okay, Jason pulled the goth into a hug, glaring at the little blonde girl, until eventually she received the hint and ran off, tears streaming down her face. Apparently Nathaniel gave Marc the same treatment.

Lastly Kim, Alix, Max, Ivan, and Mylene came as a group. They must've taken comfort in their numbers, hoping it would somehow protect them from him singling them out. Thought everything would go smoother that way. He could hear Juleka grumbling at his side where they sat under a tree for lunch. They both appreciated the shade and quiet peace of the place. Marc sat on her other side, writing away in a journal.

"Hey Mari, we wanted to apologize for the way we've been acting lately," Alix took the lead.

"Yeah, it was really uncool of us," Kim followed up, the others nodding along.

They looked imploring. Like they were waiting for some sort of forgiveness. He couldn't help but wonder if they thought their actions were somehow better. That he couldn't really be mad at them because they weren't the ones who lied or lead the pack against his soulmate. They didn't make harsh accusations or physically attack Marinette. So somehow, they were better and their apologies could be less.

How fucking rude. How presumptuous. How entitled to think his time, thoughts, feelings were forfeit in their need for forgiveness. Marinette deserved better in her time here than these heartless bastards. None of them ever defended her either. Or him for that matter. Not one of them tried to so much as change the subject to avoid harping on him. None cared when his soulmate never returned to her body. Maybe that wasn't fair, but at the very least they could've approached him in his grief when it was easily displayed. Everyone here had a soulmate and knew the signs of loss for when one died. Surely they knew that this person in this body lost their other half. And yet not a soul outside of his group had offered condolences.

"That's all you have to offer? That it wasn't cool?" Juleka asked, tone quiet but sharp.

"Well it's not like we-"

"Let me cut you off there, before you piss me off. You didn't personally attack me, you just watched and snickered behind hands. Joined in to the cruel jokes and snide remarks. Encouraged those who did attack. At least they had the decency to be that way to my face and let me know where we stood. You? Hiding behind others actions and grouping up to give half-hearted sorrys that you barely think of before you speak? Now you guys are the ones that truly infuriate me. Either you believed I deserved the treatment I received but refused to be singled out for it. Or you thought what was happening was wrong and were too much of a coward to step up and help me out. I'm not sure which is worse. Either way, I don't want to see a single one of you approach me again. I don't mean enough to you to make a stand? Then you don't mean enough to me to even speak to. Get out of my face."

When his little speech was done and the startled masses ran off with an added glare, protests held on the tip of tongues, Jason slumped back against the tree, taking small comforts in the silent support of his two companions.

Adrien never approached. That was for the best.

His friend group was also something new. Marc, Juleka, Chloe, and Kagami. The group technically leaned more female than anything, but after the heavy masculine energy of his old life, this turn of events felt refreshing. It helped that Marc came out as nonbinary and Jason couldn't help but relate in a way with his view of this body fitting as female, but his mind staying firmly male. Altering his soulmate's body to fit would never happen, but it also didn't match him. 

The group only grew stronger and more resilient after Jason agreed to revealing identities in the team. After the loss of Mari and the stripping of the ring from Adrien, Jason found it necessary to place new permanent holders. With Kagami and Chloe having screwed up their original hero personas, the placement became a challenge. 

He started out with figuring out his new cat. 

Talking it over with Fu and dragging the decision out way longer than it needed to, he eventually convinced the old guardian of Kagami's worth. She took to Plagg with ease, the design of her look altering to match. The suit stayed all black but wasn't leather and had gold detailing. The ears and tail looked more realistic as well. Her hair went pitch black and eyes went to shades of gold. Kagami insisted her new name be Serval.

Next came Chloe who ended up comforting Jason the most through his despair, whether she knew the reason for it or not. Without the bee as an easy go to, he ended up giving her the Dragon. Sure, the mix wasn't the best ever, but it kept her on the offensive side and more active, so it worked the way they needed it to. Her outfit consisted of tight fitted scales in shades of black and blue. Unlike when Kagami used the dragon, her and Longg took more to the shades of blue that came with most weather. Her shock of blonde hair played nicely with the idea of lightening on a stormy day. She went with Nimbus.

Surprisingly, Marc became the next holder. Jason planned on handing off the fox to Juleka, only to realize it wouldn't quite suit the girl. She stayed in the shadows most of the time, yes, but not really by choice. She wanted to be a model and show up in photos more than anything, so it made no sense to stick her with another identity she had to hide in. Add on the fact that she wasn't necessarily the most creative and well, Jason couldn't hand off an illusion piece to her. That's when Marc came into play. The kid had creativity in spades and preferred to avoid the spotlight. Marc and Marinette grew closer with all their time spent in the art room and courtyard together and especially with Nathaniel having ditched them. With Marc starting to build a spot of their own within the group, it only made sense to pair them with the Fox.

Now that he thought about it, the whole team really stuck with black. Marc had a black velvety almost shapeless form, with white tail, ears, sash, gloves, and boots. Their eyes fell white on gray on black and gave off an eerie feel. They choose Jocular for their hero name.

Finally, Jason hunted down the perfect miraculous for Juleka. The mouse. Quiet and unseen, playing in the background until the moment was right. And then she was everywhere, a multitude taking over the scene and overwhelming the enemy in a matter of moments. Perfect for the girl who hid behind her bangs but longed for the spotlight. Mullo played to both halves of her personality. The suit that came with consisted of a deep vivid purple that matched her bangs while detransformed. While in costume, the highlights disappeared and her eyes shined purple as well. The fit was reminiscent of a belted, hooded tunic with black leggings and matching purple booties. She went with Fievel. Turns out Juleka had an interesting favorite childhood movie. Months later, they would find themselves sitting around a tv, watching the old animated musical, but in the beginning, they just took it in stride.

The last major change came in a heavier bond forming amongst his team.

When Jason agreed to reveal identities, if for no other reason than the guilt of already keeping one major secret from the group, things spiced up. For one, Juleka and Marc traded their respective miraculouses back and forth depending on their comfort level for the day. If one felt more ready for the spotlight, they took to the mouse for the battle. If one felt especially creative at the moment, they tagged in for the fox. Of course, they jumped in with whichever they had when an akuma hit while separated, but the switch off seemed to comfort them.

Secondly, Chloe started running more interference to allow them escape time if stuck up in civilian form. Her false bratty attitude and daddy issues came into play here, despite her actual maturity about both. It helped to amp it up from time to time.

Lastly, Kagami and Jason begin to switch on occasion.

Plagg hadn't been outside the ring since Jason removed him from Adrien and Kagami received him. The shock and horror on his face when Tikki told him the reality of their situation broke Jason a little more. The cat insisted on spending more time with Jason after that. His soul resonated better with the ring anyways, so the time spent as the cat holder felt soothing after so long as the ladybug, despite this body feeling more receptive towards Tikki's magic. 

As an added bonus, the two kept the other's costume and attributes such as eyes and hair. Between that and the heavy magical glamour hiding their identities, no one, not even Hawkmoth, knew which one was which until their fighting style came into play at which point, it was too late. Luckily, with the sneaky aspects of the mouse and fox, the other two became quite the ambush as well. Add in Chloe showing up with one of three different powers at any given moment, and Hawkmoth's akumas became easy prey.

By the time the year ran out, their team ran as a well oiled machine. Despite the horrific heartbreak festering in his heart, Jason felt hopeful. Hopeful that they might take down the villain that had taken over his soulmate's life from so young. That this battle at least might end on a happy note. That soon he would be free to seek out justice for Marinette once and for all.

[innuendostudios]

New episode of The Alt-Right Playbook called Always a Bigger Fish. Here we dissect the core ideology of conservatism, which is somewhat different from what conservatives claim it’s about, and get into why fascists keep getting footholds in conservative parties.

Shout-out to Steve Shives for playing Your Conservative Friend.

If you like this series, consider helping it keep coming out on the regular by backing me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, you’ve got this friend. You know, that one friend? You were buddies in high school but don’t really see each other anymore except online? And you used to argue about politics for fun when you were teenagers, but, as you’ve gotten older, you’ve drifted further left and he’s gone sharply right, and your arguments don’t feel so frivolous anymore. And maybe you’ve agreed that it’s better for your friendship to stop getting into it with each other, but you’ve just posted on Facebook about how college in America should be free and all student loans forgiven, and your friend has left a comment he’s not supposed to leave, and you’re not supposed to respond but you really wanna respond, so, after a moment’s hesitation, you shoot him a DM.

“Why do you care how we’d afford free tuition? Wars are a lot more expensive than education, but you never seem to care how we pay for those. We just go into debt and you’re fine with it. Anyway, aren’t you the party that says deficits don’t matter?”

“Yeah, but you’re Democrats. You’re not going to run a deficit, you’re going to raise taxes, aren’t you?”

“Taxes are generally how governments pay for things.”

“Spoken like a proper socialist.”

“No socialist would call that socialism. Only you, and only when we pay for things you don’t like. But when we build roads, or subsidize corn, then then you just call it government.”

“Those are things we can’t pay for without governments! But we can pay for college ourselves. We’ve been doing it since forever.”

“Well, I hate to tell you this, but it’s not the 1950’s anymore! Time was, you didn’t need a degree to get a good job. Now you do. And you could pay for college waiting tables, but now you can’t. Nowadays college is a necessity, and people can’t afford it.”

“Why do liberals make excuses for people? If you want to go to college and don’t have the money, then you study and work hard and get a scholarship. You earn it instead of complaining until somebody gives it to you.”

“Do you think people aren’t doing that? Do you think there’s millions of unclaimed scholarships just lying around waiting for someone to apply for them? There is nowhere near enough financial aid to get everyone to college who needs to go.”

“That’s not my problem! They can crowdfund. Or get a loan. Or, whatever, go on Oprah. The government doesn’t owe you an education on my dime.”

“It’s not gonna be your dime! You don’t make that much. No one’s talking about raising your taxes. If some billionaire you’ll never meet gets taxed to put some kid you’ll never meet through school, why should you even care?”

“If somebody robs a bank that isn’t my bank, I’m still opposed to robbery. I have a problem with taking money someone earned to give someone a degree they aren’t owed.”

“Why is what happens to poor people ‘not your problem,’ but what happens to rich people is? You think you’re gonna be rich someday?”

“Oh please. You’re the one the one who thinks they’re gonna be rich.”

“I assure you I do not.”

But then he says something that blows your mind a little bit. Something that makes you think you’ve been going about this the wrong way. Something that makes all the seeming contradictions of Republican thought maybe make some kinda sense.

He says, “Yes you do. Democrats think they’re going to take the money from billionaires and spread it around. Give it to a bunch of poor people so they can go to college. And everyone gets a degree, and everyone gets a good job, and healthcare is free, and minimum wage is 80 bucks and hour. And everyone’s saving lots of money, so what then? Everyone’s rich. Everyone works in tech. Everyone moves to New York and California. And nobody’s a billionaire, and nobody’s broke, and everyone’s great at their job because all they needed was the right opportunity, and no one’s better than anyone at anything. It’s a fantasy, and we shouldn’t have to pay you to LARP it. You think you can make everyone the same, but you can’t. There’s always a bigger fish.”

[beat]

You say, “Did you just quote The Fantom Phucking Menace at me?”

And he says, “I guess I did, lol.”

And that’s as good a time as any to drop it.

But the conversation sticks with you. See, when you talk to your conservative friend, you operate as though you have the same base assumptions: belief in democracy, “do unto others,” etc. etc. If you didn’t believe your friend shared these assumptions, you’d basically be calling him a fascist or a sadist. And you conclude that, if you believe in democracy, you must believe in equality, and, if you believe in equality, you must believe in equal access to education, and must conclude that governments should help pay tuition. And so you give your friend the benefit of the doubt that, if he doesn’t understand this very simple logical progression, he either hasn’t had it properly explained to him, or has, at some point, been lied to. Because no one could believe in “all citizens are equal” and “always a bigger fish” at the same time.

But, by this thinking, you’re treating most conservatives as people who want, in their hearts, to be liberals, but have so far failed. And maybe that’s why they think liberals are condescending?

What if he doesn’t have the same base assumptions as you? Or what if he does, but he has other assumptions you aren’t aware of, that lead him to different conclusions? He is often misinformed, but what if that isn’t the problem? What if he… actually believes something else?

We’ve been circling around this one for a while. We’ve talked about what liberals believe, we’ve talked about what fascists believe, we’ve talked about what nihilists believe, or rather what they don’t believe, or rather why they aren’t actually nihilists. But this is a tough one: What do conservatives believe?

(o god I’m going to get yelled at so much for this one)

The United States, like much of the Western world, is a capitalist democracy. That’s what we’re raised in, that’s what seems normal to us. And, in our normal lives, democracy and capitalism seem to coexist easily: voting doesn’t feel like a violation of capitalism, buying a bagel doesn’t feel like a violation of democracy. But sometimes they come into tension with one another. And, speaking really broadly, when a choice between them has to be made, a liberal is someone who tends to think democratically, and a conservative is someone who tends to think like a capitalist.

THE OPERATIVE WORD HERE IS “TEND.” Liberals are still capitalists and conservatives still stan for democracy, and the preference for one or the other may be very slight. Nevertheless, which way a person leans reveals their priorities.

The democratic framework - or, at least, a democratic framework - is “one citizen, one vote.” No matter who you are, you are born with certain in- or possibly unalienable rights, and any system that doesn’t guarantee you those rights is a tyranny. Freedom, agency, and a hand in the strictures that govern you; everyone is entitled to these things. It’s an egalitarian mindset; people gain power by electoral process, i.e. when it is granted to them by the masses, with whom the true power resides, and whom the Constitution guarantees the right to take that power away from an electee. Rather than powerful, the elected official is, in a sense, an employee with millions of bosses, all of whom have equal authority. This is the idea of democracy, with the history of democracy being riddled with failures to live up to this ideal, but part of the project of liberalism has been about making the government more closely resemble its ideology.

The capitalist framework, by contrast, is that of businesses and markets, where “big fish eat the little ones.” If two people start businesses in the same field, and one makes more profit than the other, that person can make more investments, open more locations, undercut their competitor’s prices. The more money you have, the more money you can make. So advantage compounds, where even small failures often mean getting muscled out of the field. Now, with some creativity - a novel cost-saving practice or a new delivery method - the underdog can still thrive, and this is part of what conservatives like about the market: that it demands this creativity in a live-ammo environment. But most will not beat the odds; that’s how odds work. Since there will always be more failures than successes, the general trajectory of unregulated capitalism is money pooling into fewer and fewer hands. Things naturally sort themselves into a hierarchy with sharks at top, a million minnows at the bottom.

Since we all live with both of these frameworks in our minds, and most of the things we do in our day-to-day lives can be justified by either one, we don’t often notice the contradictions between them, and it’s easy to imagine whichever one tends to be our default is everyone else’s default as well. But issues like poverty, taxation, and education are areas where the contradictions matter, and we are sometimes shocked by how different the world looks to our conservative friends.

In conservative thinking, this hierarchy is humanity’s natural state. The American Dream is “here, anyone can make it.” No matter who you are or what you start with, you can become a billionaire. But a necessary component of this is: anyone can, but everyone can’t. We’re not all gonna be billionaires, there’s a finite amount of money in this country. For any one person to have so, so, so much more than they need, there must - mathematically - be thousands of people with less. Your conservative friend is often baffled as to what you’re even trying to say when you point out there’s not enough high-paying jobs or affordable health plans for everyone; there’s not supposed to be. The system requires an underclass. Someone’s gotta clean the toilets.

Capitalism, then, is a proving ground. It’s how you demonstrate where in the hierarchy you deserve to be. Do you have more than you need, or less? Anything you’ve got, you beat someone else to it. How resourceful were you? How well did you play? The field is, by no means, level, but any disadvantage just means you have to work harder. We know people who start with nothing can win big; if you are a shark, you will make your way to the top, because that’s where you belong. Anyone complaining about how stacked the deck is against them is making excuses for not being better at the game.

Disadvantage itself is not a problem, so long as it is (quote-unquote) “natural.” What’s necessary is that advantage and disadvantage not be imposed from without. Free tuition, a high minimum wage, taxes on the wealthy, or any other kind of government meddling, these things must be opposed, because, with them, people would end up in the wrong places. Power has to be earned; if it isn’t earned, it won’t be properly wielded, and then society ends up a mess. Conservatives generally feel what’s wrong with the world today can be chalked up to people not being where they should be in the social order. They used to be where they belonged, but then liberals gummed everything up with their government handouts and forced representation. (When, exactly, things were the way they should be is a bit of a moving target: nowadays, they act like it was the 80’s, in the 80’s it was the 50’s, and in the 50’s it was some time before the New Deal. So, following the nostalgia cycle, it’s usually “about thirty years ago.”)

Conservatives are distrustful of any effort to make society more equal because, deep down, they don’t believe equal societies are real. Obviously, “all citizens created equal” needs to be the government’s position, because you can’t trust the government to know where to put people, so it has to treat everyone the same. But this is a legal fiction, like corporate personhood. It just means “the government leaves the market alone so the hierarchy can reveal itself.” You’re not supposed to believe in an equal distribution of power. What are you, seven? This is just the way the world is. Look at alpha wolves, silverbacks; consider the lobster.

You are one, single individual within a system, and it is your job to rise or fall within it on the sweat of your own back. You don’t change the system. Society’s problems come from the rules being too weakly enforced. The answer is always more discipline. Your conservative friend thinks you’re naive for thinking the system even can be changed, and his is the charitable interpretation! Many conservatives assume liberals - at least, the smart liberals - know that the hierarchy is eternal, that there will always be people at the top and people at the bottom, so any claim towards making things equal must be a Trojan horse for something that benefits them. (Why would they assume that? Because that’s what they do.) The real liberal agenda is to put people in the wrong places on purpose. Boost liberal allies, hold back liberal opposition. You don’t want to break up the pyramid, you’re just trying to sneak someone else to the top.

A lot of conservative contradictions start to make sense through this lens. Of any issue, simply ask: does this distribute power, or consolidate it? If power flows up the hierarchy, they’re for it, if it flows down, they’re against it. How can conservatives say $15 an hour is too much for flipping burgers but somehow $11.5 million an hour isn’t too much to run Amazon? Because, if you’re flipping burgers, you’re a minnow, and you don’t need $15 an hour to be a minnow. But sharks, they deserve all they can get because they know what to do with it. They use it to give us Amazon. Don’t you want Amazon?

We keep assuming conservatives defend the rich because they think they’ll be rich someday, and, sure, they would love to be. But it’s more nuanced than that: they defend the rich because they believe the rest of us need the rich. We’d be lost without them. There should be no shame in being beneath the rich, not if the right people are rich; no shame in being a cog in the machine so long as the machine produces something beautiful. There is a real fear that everyone filling their proscribed role is the only thing keeping us from complete and total not-the-fun-kind-of anarchy. There is honor in being in your place and doing your best with it. Most especially if your place isn’t at the very bottom.

The thing about hierarchies is that they’re self-similar on many scales. If you’re in the middle, then you serve the king. Valar dohaeris. But, to everyone beneath you, you are the king. You’ve got a good job and a good wage, that gives you some power over people who don’t. And getting pissed at those above implies that those below have a right to be pissed at you. There’s a real anxiety that liberals want to make room for those people in the middle by putting conservatives at the bottom, and that those people will then treat conservatives the way conservatives treated them. Freedom, respect, and empathy are looked on as finite resources in a competitive marketplace just like jobs and scholarships.

Also, most conservatives are white men, and so are most billionaires. So, but for the wealth, they actually have a lot in common, which makes it easy to empathize with billionaires, and to feel empowered by seeing people like oneself do so well. And white men at the top influence policy in ways that serve people like them them, which materially benefits white men in the middle. The wellbeing of white billionaires becomes a metonym for the wellbeing of all white men. A slight on them is a slight on all of us. White men want to believe that these billionaires earned their station, and not that their gender or race got them preferential treatment, because that would imply their own treatment may have also been biased in their favor, and maybe it’s not the liberals giving people power they don’t deserve.

No matter how much a conservative believes in “earning” one’s place, they have, always in the back of their mind, an image of what society should look like, and any discrepancy between imagination and observation must mean foul play. This feminist is too respected, this Black superhero is too popular, it can’t be because they’re worthy; someone must have put their hand on the scales. Someone got a freebie or played the race card or faked a scandal. This means, even though they claim the hierarchy is natural, what they will or won’t accept as legitimate is a gut feeling. If they like what they see, they take credit for it; if they don’t, it’s the Left’s fault. And what does it say about them that they see a bunch of white, male sharks and think, “Yeah, that’s authentic”?

The innate authenticity of wealth and power is the starting point. Like, OK, you know when they open the door to Kingdom Hearts, and on the other side there’s Mickey with his shirt off, and you’re like, “Why would Mickey with his shirt off be on the other side of that door?” and the answer is “I dunno, we’ll figure it out in like seven games”? Rich people believing “it’s good for everyone that I’m rich” is the starting assumption - that’s Mickey with his shirt off - and conservatism is the pile of games where they make up reasons why that might be true after the fact. It’s a retcon. This hierarchy is not democratic; it’s Birth by Sleep: A Fragmentary Passage.

Savvy viewers may be remembering another political philosophy that is hierarchical, undemocratic, built on nostalgia, and that likes to cloak its policies in progressive camouflage, and that’s the one from two videos ago: fascism. (ooooooohhhhhh golly) Now: I am not calling conservatives fascists. There are distinctions: Under fascism, the hierarchy is much, much less meritocratic, and the nostalgia is much, much older. However: conservative thinking is, at the very least, one that fascism maps more cleanly onto. Fascists appeal to this hierarchical mindset by portraying all of history as struggles between ethnic groups over who gets to be where. “Someone's got to be at the bottom, white man. We'll make sure it isn't you.” You’ll find, throughout history, that fascist movements, though they often pick up dissidents from all over the political spectrum (the “Third Position,” for instance, is fascism for anti-capitalists), when they find purchase in a political party, it’s pretty much always the conservative party. Look at France, look at Brazil, look at here. Whether you want to interpret that as conservatives being uniquely susceptible to fascists, or diet fascism being another name for conservatism, I leave that up to you.

Fascism - and, to an extent, libertarianism - are… ‘roided up extrapolations of the hierarchical mindset, in the same way socialism and anarchy are extrapolations of the egalitarian one. We can see conservatism as a kind of compromise between fascism and democracy, and liberalism as a compromise between capitalism and socialism. They are two different attempts to solve the tensions between these ways of thinking without giving either one up. You could just as easily claim that liberalism is watered-down, ineffectual socialism. A lot of the Left would balk at that, but not me, pinko scum that I am.

The most important thing to understand is that you cannot communicate with nor anticipate the behaviors of a conservative if you don’t understand what they believe. Which is hard, because they’re often in denial. You will never convince them to compromise on any attempt to break up the hierarchy, because even incremental change strikes them as revolutionary and they feel they’ve made too many concessions already. You will never get them, of their own free will, to agree to government regulation, because the government, as a democratic institution, is inherently unnatural. If you don’t like what a business is doing, you don’t regulate it, you take your money elsewhere. You should favor the capitalist solution, not the democratic one. (Also, when you vote with your dollar, people with more dollars get more votes.) They will never be onboard with aiding the poor in any systemic way, and will, instead, champion charity and crowdfunding, because minnows getting to eat should always be framed as a gift rather than a right. You may get individual conservatives to come around on some of these, but, as a body, they will never consent to any of it unless they can work it to their advantage or if you have leverage over them. They will sign on when denying progressivism costs them something, because few things terrify them more than slipping down the hierarchy.

And what’s insidious is that most of us have this thinking ingrained in our own minds as well, myself included. We’re all raised in the same culture. This is why they’re able to control the conversation, because they can, with some priming, get us thinking in their terms. A nice upshot is our thinking is also ingrained in their minds, though they’re a little bit better at fighting it.

But as long as you are trying to meet this mentality in the middle, you are leaving the door open for fascists. Conservatism is and always will be vulnerable to them. A good defense against fascism is to consciously, intentionally, think and act in democratic terms, because newsflash: we’re not actually lobsters. Neither of these systems is natural. They are choices we can make. I recommend this one, because egalitarian thinking is one thing Nazis are bad at infiltrating.

If you want to fight fascism, move left.

[ergomaria]

Miles to Go Before I Sleep - Ch. 11

"Excellent. I suppose we'll be seeing each other quite soon." While Bastila's comment was supposed to be friendly, it somehow sounded ominous.

"Right. Over and out." Clipping her comlink back to her belt, Meetra drew a steadying breath as she continued her march through the canyon. Atton was a few paces ahead while the rest of her crew trailed behind, giving her a little too much space to think as she moved through the wasteland of her own making.

But was she the one to blame for this devastation? All of the old outrage and resentment that the former Consular assumed had burned away during her self-imposed exile was swiftly surging back to the forefront of her mind as the crew trudged past the evidence of her slaughter. 'This was all necessary,' she told herself even as the words grew increasingly meaningless beneath the weight of her regret. 'Revan thought it was necessary and he's the tactical mastermind. He made it sound so simple.' She hadn't been lying when she told Vann that the decision to use the Mass Shadow Generator was entirely hers, but recognizing her own culpability didn't quell the bitterness that simmered in her heart.

All of those thoughts were swirling through Meetra's mind when her group reached the rendezvous point. Vann was waiting for them, his tension palpable, though whether it was caused by his partner's recent injury or the planet itself was difficult to discern. His concern only deepened when he spotted his former co-commander. "Are… Are you okay?"

"No. I'm back on this planet and the Sith are trying to conquer the Republic yet again." Meetra tried to force a smile, but her face wouldn't cooperate. "It's a little difficult to be cheerful."

"You don't have to be on the surface. If Mira is willing to exfiltrate you, I sure as hells wouldn't mind having your eyes in the air." The complicated thing about Revan, and later Vann, was that his violent temper was counterbalanced by a great deal of compassion. These traits gave him the courage to be an unquestionable hero who frequently utilized the tactics of a villain. It could be infuriating.

The old animosity that stemmed from all of Meetra's unresolved feelings towards the war exploded unexpectedly. She honestly thought that she was better at controlling her outbursts, but she had believed several things upon arriving on Malachor V and so far none of them had been true. "I didn't tell you this before, but I spent years being angry at you over the Mass Shadow Generator. You were the one who had the idea for a superweapon, the one who made it sound like it was the only option we had. And I believed you because your tactics always felt like the best course of action. It helped that you had all of the facts and figures ready. Hells, you even warned me that there were risks, that being close to so many deaths might reverberate into the surrounding Force with unexpected consequences."

Vann didn't seem surprised at this confession, as though he'd been expecting it for quite a while. "I'd like to believe that I would never order someone to use a kriffing superweapon if they didn't know all of the potential dangers."

"The problem wasn't what you said, it was how you said it. You made using the weapon sound so simple. And maybe for you, it was. After all, there's nobody in the galaxy who understands war the way you do. I don't know what your thoughts were when you gave me the orders to use the Mass Shadow Generator, but maybe you assumed that I could manage any potential repercussions just as efficiently as you would have. But I didn't."

"Don't blame him." Alek was imposing as he straightened to his full height. "You made a choice and all of this is the result. You're the one who ripped a hole in the Force after I warned you that using a weapon of mass destruction was a bad idea!"

"I did it because he made it sound like our only option!" Gaze growing distant, Meetra couldn't stop the memories from rushing back. "He said it was necessary, just like accepting seventy percent casualties provided we won the day. Or embracing just a little bit more darkness because it would allow us to see things more objectively."

"Yeah." Wincing, Vann muttered, "That all sounds like something I would say."

The blunt acknowledgment only fueled Meetra's long-contained outrage, mostly because the only thing she currently wanted was the reassurance that she'd always depended on Revan to provide. She needed to confess all of her doubts so that he could explain them away, soothing her worries by assuring her that their actions were entirely necessary. During the war, his conviction that they were on the right side of history had given others the strength they needed to keep fighting. But right now, he just seemed lost. It shattered the last of the former Consular's self-control and she couldn't stop herself from lashing out in frustration. "What, you're not even going to defend yourself? Maybe throw all of my former positivity back in my face? Say something, dammit! Defend the orders that you gave!"

"You know that he won't and you also know exactly why!" Glaring sternly, Alek challenged the blonde to contradict him.

But she said nothing because they were both well-aware that Vann had more guilt about the past than the rest of them combined, an emotion exacerbated each time he was presented with proof of his penchant towards unmitigated violence. Beneath the exterior of the shiftless mercenary and calculating commander lay a person who was deeply insecure about every choice he'd ever made. It wasn't that he lacked the darkness he'd possessed in the war, the rage that sometimes turned his eyes sickly yellow was proof of that, it was merely that he kept witnessing the results of his decisions without any recollection of why he'd originally made them. He didn't remember enough of the past to recognize what they'd gained, all he saw was everything they'd lost.

"If the person who gave the original orders can't defend them, how am I supposed to continue justifying my actions? I've spent seven years convinced that this was the only way to win the war. But… was it?" Gesturing to the broken landscape, Meetra's tone cracked as she pleaded, "How is this any better than seizing control of the Republic to defend it against an even greater threat?"

Alek pointedly refused to answer those questions, even as his expression softened. Instead, he repeated the same words that he'd offered a hundred times at the beginning of the war when the former Consular was still mourning each casualty that paved the way for their victory. "What do you want to hear? What do you need me to tell you so that you can keep moving forward?"

Just like during the war, Meetra found herself pouring out her hopes and fears. "For years I've been assuring everyone, myself included, that I turned this planet into a graveyard for some higher purpose. Tell me that I wasn't wrong. I'm already a murderer, don't make me a liar too."

"If you didn't stop the Mandalorians, we wouldn't be fighting the Sith today because they would have already won. I don't know if the Mass Shadow Generator was the right answer, but it was the solution we found. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't hear anyone else coming up with anything better." Atton stared at the three former Revanchist leaders as he slunk beside Meetra. "I learned a long time ago that living with your past isn't about believing that you were right. Sometimes it's about accepting that you were wrong and trying to learn something from it."

It was an answer, even if it wasn't exactly what the former Consular wanted to hear. But she'd asked him to tell her the truth. "And what am I supposed to learn from this?"

"That right and wrong are too complicated to divide into neat categories? Maybe that even the best leaders are still fallible? Or you can just be glad that we won the kriffing war. It's like you said, one Malachor is still better than a dozen Serrocos."

"That doesn't feel like enough."

"And maybe it's not." Atton shrugged. "We all made choices, now the hard part is living with them."

Meeting the former assassin's gaze, Meetra pleaded, "How do you do it?"

"One slow, painful, gut-wrenching step at a time." The wry smile that Atton gave her was one of the most heartfelt gestures he'd ever displayed.

"We should keep moving." The flatness in Vann's voice was alarming, as was the defeated hunch of his shoulders and stiffness in his gait. Though his Force presence was carefully shielded it wasn't hard to read his current mood. A myriad of emotions was hidden behind his emotionless mask, the same as during the war. Bastila was already rushing up to offer gentle encouragement, even as he brushed her away.

Guilt welled up in Meetra. She'd released her frustrations on the easiest target even though the person she was really angry at was herself. "Vann, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Don't." As he waved off Bastila's lingering attempts to coddle him, the former mercenary drew both of his lightsabers as he stoically stated, "I sense the academy up ahead, which means that they probably know we're coming. There's a lot of Sith inside. Be ready for a fight, because this is going to be a hard one."

READ THE WHOLE CHAPTER ON FANFICTION AND AO3!

[homieswithhades]

BTS Analysis;

I don’t even know if I can call this an unpopular opinion bc I know some people agree with this, this is more of an in-depth analysis and personal experience I guess. It’s all about bts... and its lowkey a mess. I apologise in advance for any grammar/spelling errors, and times I may contradict myself a bit. This is something that REALLY bothers me. I just want to clarify that I love bts a lot, and that I was the HUGEST STAN for a good 5ish months. I still stan them but not as much due to the following reasons.

They just don’t make good music anymore.  They love yourself era was when everything turned to shit. The actual core love yourself concept is very good but,,,, it was executed really poorly.

Dna was my first comeback with them, even though I’ve been listening to them since august 2016. But when actually became a stan in April 2017, I was obsessed with them. I was so damn excited for their September 2017 cb that my standards were through the roof. During the summer they changed the logo and did the beyond the scene thing,,, that’s the first thing that kind of irked me,,, and then they did the highlight reels in the style of I need u and they were redeemed.

When love yourself her started promotions and teasers, the bar was higher than the person who edited the DNA mv. The concept pics were so unfitting??? And just lacked that aesthetic element. I dint like them at all,,,, and the album cover was,,, below standard and looked rushed and lazily designed. But when serendipity came out I loved it (and I still do) so that fuelled my expectations for the music, even though they weren’t really that damaged by the odd first impression of the album. But then DNA came out and???? I was so disappointed?????? The beat was so annoying,,, the mv was so ugly,, the outfits were ugly,,, the lyrics were weird. In other words DNA was just a straight up flop... I hoped the rest of the album would have been better but,,,, it really, REALLY wasn’t.

After love yourself her I lost a lot of interest in bts. I missed their old music so much, and I was genuinely upset over it. I didn’t follow them as closely as I used to. I started to joke about them with my friends who lost interest in bts before me, but I still missed the old bts so much. The whole Ellen show thing, all the western media like Buzzfeed and Billboard making vids and articles about bts, all the rigged award shows, it pissed me off bc they were getting famous in the US bc of their worst album that didn’t display their full potential at all!!!!

Imma just go out and say it, armys are one of the most toxic fandoms ever.

Sometimes they’re just plain disrespectful and starting arguments where they don’t belong. I wouldn’t be able to count how many times I got attacked on Twitter, Instagram and even in the YouTube comments for expressing a different opinion. I remember all the fan wars and scandals. All the mobs at airports, All the times k-fans and i-fans tried to ruin another groups reputation (I’m not saying other fans never did this, bc it was always a thing, but it was never this extreme.) and the fuckin credit card thing oh my god,,,, a huge shitstorm caused by one fandom that lasts for years on end.

When bts got really mainstream, and gained more young western fans, they really ruined bts even further for me. Not to mention all the cringey tweets and memes, they hurt to look at. I absolutely don’t mind the “you got no jams” meme or the “ExCuSE mE” one, bc theyre just pure goof from the members, but when armys took it and overused it, that’s when it started to get annoying.

Some armys genuinely think bts is the only kpop group and that the world revolves around them. They comment “annyeonghaseyo any armys here???!!!” in the most unexpected places, I deadass saw someone on my overwatch team playing quick play with the name “army.FOREVER.saranghae” yall do realise it costs 10$ to change ur blizzard username, right?

Some armys also don’t respect other kpop groups in older gens (or any other ones for that matter) and assume that bts broke through into the western world themselves, which is complete bullshit, without groups like bigbang, shinee, tvxq, shinhwa, h.o.t,  seo taiji boys etc etc (and other ones I don’t know of rip) kpop would have never gotten into the western world.

I never identified as an army bc I knew they were cringey bc of my friends who were HUGE armys back in 2016 and low-key koreaboos, and I knew what the bad stans looked like, so I never associated with them, and just called myself a bts stan. But the whole western situation just got so goddamn worse. I was sick of the Americans plaguing bts for me.

I also wanna say, I know not all armys are toxic and cringey. And I respect the level headed and chill Armys, yall are doing it right.

Moving on from Armys, I noticed a change in bts themselves. Namjoon changed his stage name, which absolutely sent me. I understand the meaning behind it but for some reason I felt that he did it to be fake deep? Or woke, and that he tried to completely cover-up his past self. The other members became cocky and were always draped in all that ugly Gucci and designer shit. I knew they were being forced to act the way they were acting, bc I know them well. I know how they really are. I know that they’re good people. I know they’re very humble deep down. They had that special connection with their fans before, that made u feel like u were good friends with them, and they absolutely ruined that. They’re being forced to put on this fake image to impress you filthy Americans.

I still stan bts atm. But I stan them for their old music and the people they truly are, not who they are portrayed to be. I can’t remember when euphoria came out, but I was kinda annoyed they tried to incorporate hyyh prologue into their shitty concept. And the song was also annoying and too edm-ish (like most of their new songs, idk why their style completely changed). Anyway, when tear came out, I was still kinda off the bandwagon, and I saw the concept pics and I was surprised at how nice they were. I saw the album cover, which was still ugly but better than the previous one. Then Singularity came out and!!!!! I loved it a lot. And then fake love happened. Oof is all I have to say. But some songs on the album, were actually good. Like the truth untold, paradise and OUTRO TEAR. Outro tear will remain the best song in the love yourself trilogy.

I also feel that I have to acknowledge that for all the love yourself albums only the intro and outro were genuinely up to standard (except outro answer).

Then came love yourself answer and idol. When I found out they were collabing with niki minaj I lost it. The concept pics were ugly once again, it was supposed to a controversial comeback???? And??? It wasn’t. I’m honestly glad it wasn’t promoted.

I noticed a repetitiveness with songs on answer. The beat was off with the singing. It was all just a mess. I also noticed the amount of godddamn auto tune in the songs (eg, mic drop, fake love, idol, airplane pt.2 and others I can’t remember atm) all of bts’s old songs all sound unique and different, and they all had this “emotional” element to them, to elaborate on that, compare dna, fake love or idol to save me, I need u or young forever. Notice how dna, fake love and idol convey absolutely no emotion through the lyrics or the actual beat of the song, unlike save me, I need u or young forever, that literally have more sentimental/emotional value in the few English lines that are in the song then all of the lyrics in their 3 new title tracks combined. I think this is my most difficult point to explain bc different songs make people feel different things, but it’s no doubt that you can tell the difference between a song that’s made to appeal to the masses with no unique properties to a song that coveys deep emotion (whatever the emotion may be) through the beat, the lyrics and the sound of the vocals/rapping alike. Listen to intro nevermind, and then listen to go go and just try to tell me that im wrong.

Alos, bts seem to have incorporated auto tune into songs, especially on their vocalists. bts don’t need the auto tune bc they’re good vocalists. Also, I have to mention, the vocal line isn’t the “best” per say. they’re good vocalists but it’s nothing special. Seokjin is the best vocalist period. Jungkook’s voice is generic, and in recent songs he has been straining it to reach the notes. Taehyungs voice isn’t even that special, it’s just deep, and it only really suits ballads and R&B songs like singularity or butterfly. Jimin has a very nice voice, but again, it’s nothing extraordinary. I feel that Jin has the most vocal potential, and he doesn’t get to show it, he has this really unique voice, idk what it is about it that just??? I really love it. But to clarify, I’m not hating on their voices or saying there untalented, because they’re very talented, but most of vocal line gets too much credit. As for rap line, I think they’re one of bts’s strongest points. Namjoons style is so smooth and just overall good? It amazes me that he rapped so well over the years with a breathing problem. Hoseok is a good rapper too, his sound is unique and his adlibs add to that uniqueness in older songs, as for Yoongi, I genuinely think he’s one of the best rappers in the industry, it’s not about the speed element, it’s about his flow, his power, his emotion, everything about his rap is just amazing.

Now I wanna talk about the member’s individual popularity. The maknae line has the most stans, and quite frankly, their stans are the worst. Treat all of the members with the same love and respect. Sure, it’s perfectly fine to have a bias but to disregard the other members is just plain wrong.

Bts are human beings, first and foremost, and then there musicians second. They’re being made into media puppets and clout bait, which they absolutely don’t deserve. They deserve recognition for their good stuff, which they have PLENTY of.

All in all, I’m sick of the American attention. It’s cringey, annoying and unnecessary. Sure, bts deserve recognition but not that much of it!!!!!!

And they were being recognised for the wrong thing for fucks sake!!!! I didn’t like ANY of the new songs on answer. I only liked epiphany. And then I found out it wasn’t written by any of the members. Rip. Fans will unfortunately blindly follow, stream and like whatever they put out like blind sheep because it’s accustomed to them, bighit KNOW that they’ll make more money in America. They know no matter what bts put out, no matter how shit it is, fans will like it and itll be revenue for the company. And all the mobile games and the bt21??? Was so unnecessary?? Capitalism amirite? Quantity over quality. It’s the sad truth.

Armys tend to mix up criticism and hate. Although there is a very thin line between the two, there is a difference. Criticism is the analysis and judgement of the merits and faults of something. Hate is blind and unjustified. Hate is disliking something for no reason, or for a very invalid reason. So for example, saying; “I don’t like this apple because its bitter and im not a huge fan of bitter things” is fine to say, unlike, “FUCK THIS APPLE BECAUSE ITS BITTER, FUCK ALL APPLES” you know? It’s okay to dislike a group. It’s NOT okay to hate on a group. No one’s is going to gain anything by hate.

So, all the youtubers are reacting to bts for clout, the fandom is a fucking mess, armys are attacking other fandoms for no reason, the members lost their TRUE humbleness and neglected their real personalities and they’ve put out 3 overall bad standard albums over the course of a whole ass year.

But I still have this spark of hope for them. Why? Because I love them, they have a special place in my heart. I know they have the potential to be amazing, unique and just overall good people with their own personalities, and truly special musical abilities.

After their tour I honestly, really hope the attention dies down and they put out another good, original, album like the hyyh albums, with nice concepts, good songs, and a pleasant to look at mv. It’s really all I ask for. The old bts. I know I’ll never get them back, and I absolutely cherish their old stuff, like the bulletproof logo, bangtan boys, rap monster, hyyh, young forever, no more dream, wings, them all goofing around together and not caring about their image, their wholesome interactions with fans, and all the songs and concepts and theories that never have, and never will be recognised.

On a final note, I realise I can’t blame bts themselves entirely for this. This stuff is only partially “their fault”. Its bighit’s fault, the army’s and haters fault and the media’s fault. But, America is to blame the most. That’s all for today.

[brokenaishi-blog]

timestamp (For the about and verse page)

Name: Ayano Aishi.

Age: 18

Height: 5'8

Weight: 168 pounds. (She has a dense frame. More on that below)

Gender: Trans female.

Eye color: Pink.

Personality: Thoughtful, cruel, cunning, smart, somewhat charismatic, sadistic in some instances albeit of conditioning rather than of sexual need. Incredibly sweet and loving to her loved ones. Puts on a face she think suits the situation for people she doesn’t care about or trust. (More on that below)

Looks: Pretty, cute but has a strong build.

Status: Recovering from trauma.

Overall the changes I present will be more morally gray leaning and occasionally messed up as a pathway for Ayano. This is challenging the Yandere approach and while still having Ayano as a Yandere? This is challenging the narrative and I understand completely what he’s intending for some features/backstory he’s revealed before asked about this. I did my research and re-watched a lot of videos in order to make accurate statements in response. I am not condemning the game utterly as I am fully accepting if the game turns around and does things in a different, more exceptional way, but I am fully willing to admit when it’s had some bumps as well. The game afterall: is still in development regardless of how the Dev is as a person, it is subject to change as this about is as well.

Things he’s missed the point of a Yandere:

Usually? Most popular Yanderes have a tragic event or childhood to cause such a drastic twist in mental stability and personality. EVEN SO much as addressing this as such and some popular Yanderes have gotten happy endings with everyone living or somehow reversed or it ends in tragedy in certain cases.

Yandere characters in the archetype generally as a rule DON’T WIN as their delusions and instability is toxic and usually end in their defeat or apprehension. This isn’t set in stone but overall an inevitably as that’s the main point of characters with the archetype: they’re harmful to themselves more than anyone else.

My Ayano never ‘wins’ her Senpai as he either ends up dead or she’s stopped by Megami and then rehabilitated by her in her main verse when Megami can’t sit idly by and see Ayano be far better than her mother in the need of help, Megami comes off far too morally righteous to allow that to happen. And then for her ‘bad end verses’, she’s confined to get help and her father spends the rest of his days in regret for not acting sooner. Her mother dies frequently however via execution after trial from what she’s done to Ayano, her father, along with her countless victims or is confined. Or she is simply killed by Ayano in her main verse after kidnapping a few ‘loose ends’. (More on that below)

Changes to her character’s interactions with others along with fluff info:

She will have some habits and customs from japanese culture. Her skirt will be at knee-length along with the other highschool girls for an actual dress code to a high standards school. Along with the changing of uniforms as? While I think he explained it, they still look far too middleschool for my tastes but the student council uniforms can mostly stay the same other than skirt length.

There will be no panty shots for Info-chan and instead she will be gathering information through various means and ways.

To go with the fanart and concepts that I’ve seen in canon videos and what not, I’ve decided to give Ayano  the trait, Ocular albinism: meaning her eye color is pink.

Ayano unless in certain verses is less likely to murder as that makes zero sense as why she’d jump straight to that as Senpai wouldn’t love a murderer. Granted, she would use it as a last resort if there was no other option or time. However, she sees little to no reason why she shouldn’t murder or even torture actual ‘murderers’ in her eyes, or pedophiles along with others as in the worst of the worst.

In most scenarios with a physical confrontation or a forced one, Ayano will be keeping her identity a secret with a mask and beat up her target usually rather than outright killing them. Using intimidation, manipulation and cruelty in extreme circumstances to get what she wants.

Ayano is capable of becoming hyper fixated on other people once she gets over ‘Senpai’ in her recovering verse due to her disorders. Or the rp partner’s muse in question can outright be her Senpai.

Regarding my Ayano’s Ocular Albinism: aka why her eye color is pink. I never really specified her eye color exactly other than pink and how her emotions reflect it. So as you notice, you see blatant red on even my theme for her eyes and other artwork he’s made to have Ayano? And due to me liking the concept and explaining it as an extreme case of Ocular Albinism? I’ve further gone to say that while her eye color is pink? Depending on her emotions, such as getting angrier or feeling intense emotions of love? It can become darker shades of pink, even resembling a pinkish red. This actually happens in real life with our own eyes to a degree of becoming darker or lighter colors or sometimes partially different colors altogether depending on our moods, but Ayano’s being far more severe in pigment change. And because of ocular sensitivity? I’ve decided to give her protective contact lenses she wears over them as while she can go without them? It is uncomfortable on brighter days.

Changes to character’s mental state and addressing the ableist outlook placed upon her by the Dev.

Overall, while Yandere Syndrome is a fictional mental illness, Yandere Dev has confirmed she’s a ‘sociopath’ and a ‘psychopath’ whenever it’s convenient for him and the reasoning behind this is that even as a sociopath or psychopath, and there are actual ‘normal’ terms for that: as sociopath = anti social personality disorder. They’re literally JUST personality disorders that are often demonized and portrayed incorrectly and this game is no exception in that, look up the myths and do your research- these people can live happy lives if they get help either through self-help or third party to be more comfortable and happier. Regardless, morally righteous or not? The mental illness aspect of the game is poorly written and overall I don’t expect much out of his explanation why she has her ‘bizarre’ condition but also apparently actual conditions that are demonized by him. As using a fictional mental illness but also subtly demonizing existing ones and even incorporating them into your own character whilst having a fictional one? Like, make up your mind.

Literally you could have taken a ‘normal’ person and put them in the exact same scenario and they could’ve react the same way. As not to get political? But look at mass shootings and highschool murders and stabbing cases- perps more often than not are morally fucked rather than having anything MENTALLY ILL about them. So while I’m fully okay with her being mentally ill and explaining why she’s doing the things she does? You do not jump from point A to point Z. You go from A to B to C and so on. That’s poor writing otherwise for a character as I understand ‘a reflection of the player’ as a blank slate to project onto, but overall he basically admitted to giving up on the character’s personality and story, then contradicted himself in making her a backstory.

Moving onto Ayano’s backstory: ‘Doctors knew she wasn’t ‘normal’, her parents knew she wasn’t ‘normal’ and her father instead of helping her cope? Tried to make her normal and her mother did nothing to help. Her teachers did NOTHING to stop the bullying it seems when she was younger and overall forced herself to act ‘normal’ and is numb 24/7’. That is the biggest copout for a character, as she is shown to have emotions when it suits him but she’s emotionless apparently? This whole narrative creates an unintentional sympathetic outlook on Ayano.

Why?

Her parents failed her, her father kept trying for her to be normal instead of getting her actual help. Her mother PROBABLY made it worse as why does a Highschool Girl know how to torture and mentally break people and brainwash them into her mindslaves to kill themselves afterward? It was Ryoba’s doing for how I’m making it and that’s incredibly damaging mentally for a child. (More on that below) Her doctors KNEW something was wrong at an early age? And she’d never be normal and instead of getting her therapy? They did nothing. She was bullied and while she didn’t mind it? Her teachers did nothing.

Society failed to help the little girl known as Ayano Aishi.

Now moving onto my Ayano’s actual mental and personality disorders: she’s a sociopath, has extreme obsession issues and severe ingrained trauma with needs for violence or isolation for the people she ‘needs’. Has varying levels of mental stability and coherency depending on the circumstances and can become extremely unstable.

Ayano’s actual emotions and character will actually exist instead of a ‘blank slate’ which he later contradicted himself with his backstory video of Ayano Aishi and that actually GAVE a lot of unintentional depth to her as a character as- ok, well I see why she’s messed up now as being numb 24/7 even when she has shown actual emotions in genuine response in the game and in his cutscenes. So yes, my Ayano is an actual person and for her ‘recovering verse’ and even outside of it. And has BECOME numb from everything as? That whole ‘numb’ narrative could still be kept if it was explained better.

Her mother and father and how they interact with her differently.

Ryoba’s mother has been conditioning her since she was seven for murder, starting her on animals to begin with and eventually moving her onto actual people when she was around ten to torture, murder and make into mindslaves as practice as she was ‘just like her’- as literally there’s no explanation why she knows how to do this other than ‘she’s a monster’ and that’s the biggest cop-out ever and demonization of a mentally ill highschool girl. Ryoba keep in mind while thinking about this as why I have her do this: IS A CANON rapist. As? Kidnapping someone, and coercing them and conditioning them into sex is actual rape no matter how you want to explain it and if even he came to agree to it eventually. That’s? Sex under duress and that’s actual rape. I feel as though Ryoba is underutilized in Ayano’s backstory due to her history and how she is, as I do explain her ability to instantly kill people in some instances from the physical training she received throughout her life from her mother. As some weapons would require MASSIVE amounts of strength to kill someone instantly with, yet Ayano can with ease in some cases and knows where to stab and so on and so forth and how to fight. That’s why she has such a weight because her frame is so massively dense and yes, there are people like this who exist- she packs a lot of power in that body of hers.

Her father in summary? Is a traumatized victim of rape and kind of an idiot as he actually never bothered to get his daughter actual help. And I blame this on the higher stigma toward mental illnesses in Japan for flavor text albeit Yandere Dev being shortsighted in plot devices as a possibility.

My Ayano and her place in the school:

She is considered a relatively popular and well known girl in the school that’s part of the student council, known for being oddly helpful even outside of her student council duties. Though she is somewhat intimidating with her physique and intelligence to other students but is highly admired, her personality often disputed and argued about as she adapts it to the situation. Though most are unknowing to this other than Megami.

Ayano’s likes from her partner(s). She likes to be laid on while intense smooching ensues. Likes to be held or partially cradled while sitting in their lap, perhaps fully cradled if they’re strong enough for it. Likes to sit on their lap preferably while being held from behind around her waist. Likes to hug with her legs whenever she can whether being laid on for smooching or sitting in their lap in reverse so she’s facing them. It can be purely chaste most of the time in the gesture, but can lead into intimacy. Likes neck and collarbone kisses leading up to her lips. Likes being petted. Ayano favors feeling like she’s soft so that’s why she does or likes these things done to her.

Picture reference for Ayano’s body build:

Ayano’s religion.

Ayano’s religion is known as ‘Shinto’ it was the state religion of Japan until 1945 and is as ancient as the culture itself. I don’t know TOO much of the practices of Shinto as it involves rituals and offerings, along with other bits of my research obtaining a basic understanding. Which reminded me of appeasing the vengeful spirits/kami/demons in-game. Along with the fact that they come as more akin to Yokai and an Aragami (other than the Succubus which I later found out there’s a term for actually being: Akuma as a western demon) more than anything to me? All mechanically will or can be offered gifts, tasks, and sacrifices for great boons in-game. So while I’ll be using this to explain how she can communicate and ask for their services from great, and hard tasks given in exchange for massive boons: I will be using this as a baseline to explain that she is naturally connected spiritually and quite heavily, as the occult club constantly try to summon the supernatural, but fail to every single week in comparison to Ayano who can just put a knife into a skull and bam- she did it, she can talk to them (Which might be made harder later to do, but we’ll see. He hasn’t mentioned anything regarding the mechanic). Albeit I will not go too much into the Shinto religion regarding the Aragami, as I feel I wouldn’t be able to accurately represent it and I don’t wish to appropriate holy or sacred practices.

The ‘three demons’, aka the dismembered Aragami, the flame Yokai, and the western ‘demon’ that’s an Akuma and the ancient evil. All four of these will have extensive plot-lines and rp potential if someone wishes to utilize them in an rp or have Ayano delve into it. Note that her interactions with these beings overtime may be subject to change, but her religion regarding Shinto and family origins will NOT unless I am shown otherwise it’s satisfactory story-line in canon wise.

The Aragami.

The ‘demon’ or Aragami that demands dismemberment comes off to me as an Aragami, which is those who are killed without being shown gratitude for their sacrifice: will hold a great grudge after death and become powerful and evil Kami who seek revenge known as an ‘Aragami’. The great Kami is ultimately appeased and befriends Ayano, albeit its great power will not be used often as that comes off to me as blatantly disrespectful to her religion. And instead will only be utilized under dire circumstances.

The Yokai.

The Yokai, the ‘flame demon’ comes off as more a spiritual, supernatural monster rather than an Aragami with his speech. And instead will simply have been appeased through odd, quirky means as some Yokai often are. His powers while still used more often, will still be rarely used as the powers of the supernatural can be devastating.

The Akuma.

I’ve flavor texted the clear western demon as a ‘foreign exchange demon’ for humor purposes, but also more accurately being known as an ‘Akuma’ that through various means, has befriended Ayano. As there is a term for a literal western demon apparently and can function as another term for another demon? And she is a Succubus currently quite evidently so she’s an Akuma for now.

The ancient evil.

I’ve flavored texted this seemingly new feature that may be implemented as a great, evil and ancient Yokai that through various means has been soothed and appeased by Ayano and currently has never been used for a boon due to its great and terrible power.

You may be asking yourself at this point? Why would Ayano be religious? Why would she even remotely care about abusing the power of Yokai, Kami, or an Akuma for the sake of her own gain to easily obtain ‘Senpai’? Why would she care about ANY of what I’ve said above? Well, I will be explaining this now, using her family origins and adding a sense of greater depth and potentially a greater mystery into a redesign of the game.

Ayano’s family origins.

To explain Ayano’s upbringing, along with slight insight into Ryoba’s own motivations into why she conditioned her daughter in such an extreme way physically and mentally, along with teaching her holy practices: is that Ryoba’s family sect dates back to an ancient and dark time of Japan where human life was valued very little that followed the family line in traditions and practices up to Ayano’s bloodline that progressively got worse as time went on in mentality.

To explain what the Aishi family’s sect was like in the past: they were highly religious, traditional and information gatherers for their leaders, along with being torturers and breaking people mentally to subjugate and break their spirit after capturing them to obtain vital information, and that’s where the art first began and overtime became honed into why: Ayano, a Highschool Girl has the knowledge to turn people into literal mindslaves with almost zero to needed requirements stat wise. (He might change this later, but he has made ZERO mention to it as he has with other things, so for now? I doubt it)

Why have I made it this way?

Mainly to incorporate things from the game rather than being a simple club accessory into a more compelling story with a sense of mystery even though I basically laid it all out for you as to why she acts the way she does and her family- as it is just a concept but a concept that’s currently more fitting to me than the current iteration. And why she can do and engage in certain things, rather than use a ‘bizarre mental illness that also is seemingly actual ones’ as a plot device to explain certain mechanics, along with the fact of knowing how to properly utilize poison among other killing mechanics, granted you need certain stats before doing that? Ayano needs to have a reason WHY she would know to be able to jump from point A to B to C and so on with that logic.

As for story-line? While I made it that this is rooted in tradition can seem highly unlikely as actually possible: for there are traditions in this world that have been going on for generations. In fact, some of even the most popular plot-lines in popular Japanese anime have involved outdated or dogmatic practices and traditions as being something they need to overcome together as a whole.

All verses will be typed as exactly in bold to separate them from one another. Ultimately there is a canon verse to this blog, but it is up to you the player rper decide on kind of path you want Ayano on to interact with your muse.

Eyes on you.

Ayano is fixated on the muse she is rping with and sees them as her ‘Senpai’ or person she wants to be forever with by any means necessary. This can be countered with the muse knowing and helping Ayano through her condition. This tag is limited to no specific muse so long as they’re in her age range as she can even become fixated on her ‘rivals’ for how casual I’m willing to be with this. Do tell me if you want it to be AFTER she gets help, as Ayano will attempt to kidnap them prior to being abducted by Megami to get help when Megami can’t sit idly by any longer. Muse must be in 2-3 years within age range for this to apply or be considered.

Hugs on you.

A recovered Ayano can be a ‘yandere’ for her friends or made family. To give an idea of how this tag differs from the other one: she’s completely loving as she is in her romantic fixations, though her actions are completely chaste in intention.

Living again.

Ayano’s main verse is recovering from a lifetime of trauma and overall did not follow in her mother’s footsteps completely, taking a morally gray stance in eliminating her rivals, doing her best to not traumatize anyone but making them back off through intimidation and possibly violence with her identity masked or befriending them on accident in the goal for Senpai’s affection but also from her own sense of warped morals. Only resorting to murder with the worst of the worst and while she did a lot of bad? She also did a lot of good and saved people albeit in order to be with Senpai, never murdering anyone outside of what her mother conditioned her with privately and forced her into.

In this main verse: she is living with Megami after killing Ryoba to save her and a few of her other rivals that were considered ‘loose ends that knew too much by her’. Megami is the one who originally apprehended Ayano after piecing things together and unable to idly standby while Ayano was in need of help and needed to be stopped, rehabilitating her in the process with therapy and freeing her from that fixation she had on Senpai as she saw the good in Ayano from an outside perspective but also on a personal level. Note: the Megami I’m rping with can be romantically involved with Ayano if they desire, that is up to them or to assume a more familial relationship, helping her deal with the tragedy she endured and protecting her during the initial reveal and overall therapy Ayano needs.

Note: this verse can start at any point in time of the verse, even so much as the first day of back to school.

Masked.

The mask itself is hard to rip off and you’d practically have to hurt her in the process to forcibly remove it fully. But it resembles that of something faceless and can only be seen out of, but not into. Its pure white in design and the material is easily washed and disposable. She has a voice distorter while this is on that makes her sound further intimidating, though she mainly did this on purpose- as rather than sound robotic. It sounds multi-toned, calm, soothing and yet eerie.

No going back.

Ayano has resorted to murder of the innocent and also has no qualms about framing, or traumatizing anyone to get what she wants. This follows a ‘bad end’ route for the rp and will eventually result in Ayano apprehended by Megami and her forces and temporarily locked away for several years to get help with Megami’s intervention. With her mother imprisoned for extreme child abuse, murder, rape, and so on with possibly being put on death row? Ayano has to live with her actions for the rest of her life as Megami takes responsibility for her as I see her as the type of person to look at her father and just: ‘You’re bad at this, I’m taking over now’ with how morally righteous I see her as.

text

Interactions but online, as in if Ayano was using the internet on the actual website itself: tumblr. As there are a lot of canon interactions in the game on her phone? So it works as she will age in real time in this verse: she is currently only 17 right now.

tw (insert trigger here)

Exactly how it is. So tw blood, tw stalking and so on and it will be under a readmore anyway if it’s extreme violence and torture.

A Yokai’s scorn.

There are some muses that clash far too much with Ayano’s world to properly interact with her. So I’ve decided to give her a supernatural verse.

I’ve decided to make Ayano a mixture of immortal spirits for what kind of Japanese Spirit/Demon or ‘Yokai’ she’d be and I was leaning more towards spirits than anything.

Her inspiration:

Betobeto-San

Betobeto-san is a formless specter, and is only recognizable by the telltale sound it makes – the “beto beto” sound of wooden sandals clacking on the ground.

People who walk the streets alone at night sometimes encounter this harmless but nonetheless disturbing yokai. It synchronizes its pace with walkers and follows them as long as it can, getting closer and closer with each step. For the victims, this can be quite traumatic. The haunting sound of footsteps follows them wherever they go, but every time they turn around to see what is following them, they find nothing.

Teke Teke

As a young school boy was walking home at night, he spotted a beautiful young girl standing by a windowsill resting on her elbows. They smiled at each other for a moment. The boy wondered what a girl was doing in an all-boys school, but before he could wonder more about the girl she jumped out of the window and revealed her lower half was missing. Frightened, he stood in the sidewalk, but before he could run, she cut the boy in half and the boy was found dead but his lower half was missing.

What Ayano is and how she functions:

Ayano was born from human sadness, loneliness, love and yearning. That’s how she came into existence is manifesting from those innate desires, often seeking out those who wander alone with the same ones. Thus her willingness to grant boons without a question so long as it does not conflict with her own warped morals.

Basically I’ll be taking this as Ayano is a ‘born spirit’ and while immortal, can be dispelled temporarily or fought back if the person is supernatural themselves but as imagined? Can be hard to deal with as most of the time once angered, as Ayano at first is harmless and will simply follow lone travelers as a wandering spirit, having no disfigurements and appearing as a young Japanese Teenage Girl in traditional garments and only allowing glimpses to be seen before vanishing completely, though the clack of her sandals can still be heard.

Eventually, after a day of off and on stalking during the night, the spirit will converse with the traveler on really any topic at night. Maybe the weather, their lover, or even what era it is- the possibilities and accounts have been numerous. Albeit, there are occasions where the spirit will become enamored with the traveler she’s following if they’re a young teenager such as she, pursuing them more frequently and even flirting or complimenting them and capable of physical contact. However… if the spirit is rejected harshly or told to go away in any circumstance whether enamored or not other than politely and calmly asking to be left be: a farming scythe will appear in her hand as blood begins dripping from her eyes and a great wound appearing on her abdomen  shows with entrails hanging partially out, the Yokai will then pursue relentlessly until her victim is mutilated and brutally murdered with a vicious smile. Then vanishing with the remains to who knows where.

Though if appeased after seven days and humored in her dealings, the spirit is capable of giving great rewards or even taking one favor and will fulfill it without question so long as it doesn’t conflict with their own warped moral code. However if simply asked to be left alone peacefully after three times each time she disappears and then reappears later, the spirit will leave and give no reward or punishment. But will give no reward if asked to leave even once if the duration is met to its end.

Often many times, the spirit will attack people who respond in fright in the heat of the moment, as it needs to be done ‘politely and calmly’ with no sense of hostility or horror. So as you can imagine? Things get quite messy at times for those not in the know of Ayano and her ways.

Weapon reference so people don’t get confused and think of the western version of a farming scythe.

The home.

Her home essentially is her own heart which consists of an endless hallway of flesh that constantly beats and convulses as if well- you guessed it: a heart. Inside, she sits on a regular mat when dormant if not seeking or being sought out with her offerings or gifts she has received over the thousands of years, the walls lining with countless masks of her victim’s faces that she carefully carves off and then places onto a wall to dry and harden and reform. The masks once taken shape, resemble the victim’s face almost exactly, albeit their eyes are merely darkened holes as if to see out and simply look like ordinary masks, having her own ‘special section’ for her victims she’s been fixated on that’s deeper inside her heart’s winding chambers. Although… visitor’s under her protection will often find themselves feel as though the masks themselves are following them with their empty eyes.

The leftover flesh is absorbed and essentially consumed as it becomes a part of Ayano’s ‘home’. This is to ease the emptiness she feels eternally in her ‘heart’ and that’s why she keeps her victims close to it, or well, more literally inside of it as a part of it. Taking the phrase ‘keep them close to your heart’ rather literally.

Habits.

She’ll often take the masks of her victims to temporarily meld onto her face to admire herself with their face and build.

She collects the faces of her victims to fill the eternal emptiness in her heart.

She is willing to trade faces with people from the victims she’s acquired of their own choosing, thus ‘visitor’s under her protection’ are a possibility when picking out and trying out masks for the ‘face trader’. The trader themselves will be able to either keep the face and build or simply the face, but never just the build. Albeit can leave some parts of the body unaltered, such as if the person in question is simply transgender and doesn’t wish for their sex to be changed as well or someone who wishes to change it entirely along with looks if they’re transsexual. The participant must be specific or Ayano will simply leave them in the new un-altered body if they wish for the build as well.

If simply asked for a boon when sought out via things to attract her, Ayano will fulfill this without question if there is no trade conducted. What this means: later on, without warning as years or simply weeks passed, Ayano will absorb them completely as if stalking them with the clacks of her sandals. However, when they turn around? Well… I’ll let that be a surprise for whoever wants their muse to find out as their face will appear in her heart’s wall.

She deems it as you always have to give her something if you want a boon, even if it’s yourself.

Will trick others into giving themselves to her when they ask for boons if she sees that it’s possible.

Is extremely affectionate to the few friends she makes. Will revisit previous companions she’s granted boons to with no strings attached to simply enjoy their company. Especially if she’s fixated on them.

A few powers to simply list them off.

Immortality, albeit not invincible but can return from being vanquished or forced away.

Reincarnating others through budding them in a large flesh cocoon that instantly hatches once dropped from her hand: this is necessary for a ‘face-trade’. And to take inspiration off certain myths and shows.

Absorption/Soul Absorption.

Dimensional travel and having a dimensional plane of her own.

Limited shape-shifting so long as she has the mask.

Limited wish granting.

Using her victim’s mask to form ethereal and formless wearers of it to deliver messages in her voice.

(Maybe more to be added later, I might be forgetting some)

How to seek her out and appease her rather than herself finding you.

Traditional offerings or sacrifices whether great ones or personal ones regarding loneliness, along with food and incense to attract her. Alternatively, you use a charm given to you by her, and while greeting offerings aren’t necessary after befriending her? They’re greatly appreciated and could actually earn you her friendship.

To trade with her.

It must be exceptional and befitting of a Yokai. Whether it’s an offered task to do for them such as to expand their influence to others with great statues, writings or knowledge, or to perform something at the request of Ayano on her terms if accepted. Or a grand sacrifice for a grand boon or a small sacrifice for a small boon.

[akria23]

Boy Who Ran W/ Wolves -Derek

Note: Okay so if any of you have paid attention lately…my computer crashed right as I got near the end of this thing like on the 30th of last month so I wasn’t able to post this. It was mad frustrating cause that was the perfect day to post given the release of the interview and everyone chatting – but bad shit happens I guess. I hope you guys like this one cause I’ve spent money to get back and get it out to you guys. Without further ado…

Starting off let me say this, Teen Wolf is a show that had a lot of potential and when we say that we mean, we saw what they could’ve done and didn’t do or we saw what they wanted and failed to do. I have no interest in filling in the many craters that riddle this story. I have no interest in reimagining Scott McCall. There is no saving grace to that caricature. And by this I don’t mean that Scott is the devil but that he is so poorly written I don’t see anything worth salvaging. Personally as a person who has seen the show flop and squander as it lost its mass popularity, I think it would’ve been easier for writers like Jeff and his team to create the Boy Who Ran with Wolves narrative instead of the so called Teen Wolf narrative that they majorly dropped the ball on.  On a standpoint of where the writers failed their own show, I always answer from the very start. Do I think Teen Wolf could’ve been an amazing show? Yes. Do I think it was…

The writers were full in the ego and light in the skill department. They couldn’t handle criticism making them unable to admit faults within themselves, or the work they produced. The hardest knock they took was being unable to adapt. I’m not sure if the show runner just had such an ideal of what he wanted before starting this show, that when met with a chink in the metal frame he buckled and demanded they all take the tumble with him or if pride was so high in the drawing room that during that time they found they would rather self-destruct together. I can’t really speak on the possible malfunctions that took place behind the scene, only the chaos that it created on the screen.  

               The writer’s decided to center the story on young Scott McCall, and while this wouldn’t be a problem if things were different, if they’d actually built a character, it can’t be said to be a wise decision under the circumstances.  It’s been stated many times that Scott is a weak character that lacks the tools to carry a series - a movie possibly, but never a show. For some reason the drawing room was more inspired by its side characters instead of its lead, to be fair this is many-a-writer’s downfall. This is why I find it simpler to explore this story with the framing of different characters, not just the two I’m going to focus on.

I’m going to explain The Boy Who Runs with Wolves (BWRWW) narrative as a story set with either Stiles or Derek as the protagonist. This doesn’t necessarily mean the story is set with them as the narrator, because the story could seriously be done through a third person teller (think Michael in QAF). BWRWW does however shift the perspective of the story. It has a more formulistic structure that the writers should have found easy to work upon. Both characters come filtered with the needed elements to push a story forward.

Given Derek’s back-story he’s an obvious candidate for a protagonist. Starting off he has the compelling family history. The Hales have a legacy in Beacon Hill’s they were protectors of that land, supernatural creatures who stood between the human world and their own. This works as not only a goal and a motivation for Derek, but also creates a minor if not a major theme for the show. The original Teen Wolf of course played with the aspect of human/wolf (or supernatural) but never in a way that was set in stone, or with an overarching message. The Hale legacy could’ve given the audience a view into the supernatural world that Teen Wolf could never afford. The goals of the Hale family could only promise meetings of the outside creatures…given introductions into those creatures and their world in a way that made sense while still keeping the focus on the main - wolves. It’s not a history Derek is even really aware of, so as he’s introduced into who his family really was and the things they had to do, we the audience are therein introduced to those realities. I always think about charmed and how they were witches that knew nothing of their history. Their only access to knowledge of this new world they had to navigate was a book of spells with info on some of the many creatures. The reason this is so brilliant is because you never want to give your protagonist someone or something that can give them all the answers. It mucks the story and frustrates the audience when the protagonist doesn’t listen. This was often the issue with Teen Wolf. They gave Scott Derek, a Wolf mentor so to speak, a mentor he often refused to listen to or used and abused on occasion. Even with Buffy, which Jeff foolishly thinks he mirrors, they didn’t give her a slayer with the keys to the castle – her mentor could help her along the way (while also having his own duties and things that sometimes muddled her goals because he was her watcher [layering]) but not just roll out all the answers, or the how to(s). That’s not to say your protagonist shouldn't meet the failure of naivety, or the wilds of adolescence, but for it to be a main frame makes it a difficult line for your audience to walk and therefore continue to feel for said character. Walking room should be for error, not stupidity. So while Derek would have knowledge on his supernatural bearings, to a point, it’s these other facets that pick up the slack. Also you have the wolf to human aspect that can still be absorbed through stiles (the human) and even Scott who would have been demoted to a fitting position given his lack of layering (new wolf).

The external growth/struggle speak for themselves. Stepping into the shoes parents – more so his mother- having to deal with the way that still connects him with them. Finding out truths and things he’s never known, some of which he probably should never know. The realities of everyday battles and the constant chance of losing what he’s gaining. Because the show only highlighted his mother, and in such a way that gave the audience this very direct perspective on their relationship I think its unavoidable to create a reimaging without that concept and without that shadow being a part of his motivation.

Okay, let’s back up a bit for part two because I want people to understand where I’m coming from and where I’m going when I break this stuff down. If the top half (Family History) creates Derek’s eternal struggle then the second half creates his inner one, and therefore also that growth. Often times to create a character’s emotional line and characterization, a writer gives the character something to overcome, something that happened prior to the main story but very much influences the main story – using Michael Hauge’s concept I’ll refer to this as the Wound. The wound builds the characters Belief, sometimes of themselves or the outside world, sometimes both. Again for repetition, the belief is just that, a strong belief the character has because of his wound. The character’s belief creates their Identity – a Mask that covers their true Essence so they no longer feel weak/vulnerable. Essence is the person they really are, it’s their better side that they hide. Their new identity makes them think they’re protecting themselves but usually it’s just standing as a block to what they really want.

Above I’ve structured out Derek’s characterization, give or take with the fact that Teen Wolf cut out his middle structure and then wanted to only lean loosely on his mask nor did they really commit to his wound. Anyway starting from the left – Wound. I’m gonna do one line at a time so you can see how they connect. The first layer of Derek’s wound would have been Kate’s betrayal, not the fire itself but the actual set up and manipulation and forethought she had to have going into this and how she used him. Kate’s actions would have then created a belief in him, and fairly so, this would have been the toxicity humans are capable of. The creatures who call his kind unacceptable, but committed the worst of acts against them. This leads the character to his mask, in Dereks case a form of prejudice where humans stand. You want something that’s natural, but creates authentic tension. Make your character human by giving him contradictions and ripping the moral carpet from under him and see how he sticks his own landing. Derek having issues with humans because of his own experiences does just that, and also gives him a growing point and ties to the Human – Wolves concept. Teen Wolf did start off with Derek showing some signs of prejudice with humans, at least with Stiles who he didn’t seem to think much of at all. But the show ended that pretty quickly without ripping something great out of both sides and leaving something magnificent on the screen. Derek’s second and major wound would be the trauma he blamed himself for. The fault he finds in himself leads to the belief that he is undeserving of anything…good. This of course leads to his new identity his mask, which for Derek is Isolation. When I say isolation I don’t just mean cutting oneself off physically I mean the things he starts to do to keep others out. Adult Derek is different from pre-wound Derek. He’s stoic - closed off, violent, silent and so on. He doesn’t seem to revere his own life, quick to throw himself in front of danger…so much so that fans at one point felt he had a death wish. And this is where contradictions come in very hard, and you want them to. Because even under a mask something of our true essence is always accessible. So even though there was this new stoic Derek at times we could see ‘old Derek’. We could see the Derek that longed for family and connection despite thinking he didn’t deserve those things. Tension in this is that even as he fights he has a need and that need will go toe-to-toe every time. For example, Derek turning the teens. He deep down he’s lonely, he yearns for that connection, for unity. But when he creates this makeshift group he still caters to his own mask, not treating them like the family he knows he wants. No, because of his own beliefs, because of his past teachings he tries to teach them his own ways to protect themselves and that doesn't help because that’s not what either side needs. His Tragic Past plays as his internal struggle, where he’ll grow from the inner outward. The tragic past that created his present identity branches out to the things that help set free his Essence, the Romantic Subplot & his individual Development Arc.

His tragic past, instead of being fodder for torture, becomes Derek’s personal story that weaves back into the main story. His past acts as a two part concept branching out to create his personal development arc one way and a possible romantic subplot the other. Starting with the development arc, Derek was shown a darker side of humans with the actions of Kate and those who partnered with her to create the Hunters. Derek has reason to have issues with humans, this creates a friction with his family’s legacy. How can he be expected to protect the very thing that destroyed his life? So on that route you of course not only have to have him deal with the concept of humans but also the hunters themselves. I think Teen Wolf could have done wonderful things with the Argents and the wolves and have them not only come toe-to-toe but also be forced to face each other in the realization of what the war has caused them and question a possible reconciliation, for some, if any.

This ties with the romantic subplot. Subplots are important in a long piece, you’re promised to have at least one. A subplot is a minor story that runs parallel alongside the main-plot and or weaves into it. It’s a way to add layers and therefore complexities to the story. A romance subplot of course is just a minor story of romance that takes place alongside the main story. I saw a graph of The Hunger Games that broke down its subplots so I’m gonna use that movies to make it simple. The main plot (question) in the Hunger Games was – Will Katnis survive the hunger games? The romantic subplot (minor question) in the Hunger Games was – Will Katnis choose Peeta or Gabe (think that’s his name)? There were other subplots in The Hunger Game series but it’s the romantic one I’m focusing on. So for BWRWW – Derek Version the romantic subplot would be something near the same – Will Derek overcoming open him to a relationship with Stiles. This romantic subplot closely weaves throughout the main plot because it’s dependent on Derek achieving his internal goal.  Back to the human – wolf subject and concept of the Derek’s story, which would play a huge part in their story. Because Derek had this view of humans, this prejudice so to speak, a mistrust not only of humans but his relations with them since both his priors went terribly wrong. As a writer the thing is then to question that connection, if their theme together is trust how is that gonna be exploited in story? Does trust in Stiles really make him stronger, or does the unbiased outlook on humans leave him open to danger? I talked about the cycle in part one, the themes that made up his levels of love – love/loss, fear, trust, fault, intimacy, fragility, betrayal – so how do those things intertwine and play-out. What are the other weak concepts that will make Derek balk – like fear of losing someone as he’s done so often before? How do you have him face betrayal again, overcome it and reassess fault? VoidStiles. The Sterek relationship has similar markers of the past but highlight very different things. Intimacy for example, whenever we see Derek and Kate it’s a sexualized thing where she’s reminding him what she used against him and what she views as weakness on his part. This seeks the question of what does Derek now see intimacy as; a tool? How do you highlight that within Stiles and Derek’s relationship the subject of intimacy is ‘reborn’. Their moments shine on positive emotions and connections. A comforting hand in the time of need. Something as simple as a different kind of touch to try to awaken (closed fist to open palm, and hesitancy). To just being comfortable with someone touching you, showing a trust and a comfort level with that person. Even in lack of touch the intimacy is still there, as it is in the dream sequence. This is why I say Stiles is the only option for Derek to love. He singularly being who he is and the two coming together literally forces Derek in a position where he has to make a choice and therefore give him a chance to grow and thereby show his True Essence. You see the old him start to come back as Stiles sarcastic nature rubs off on him and he takes more liberty with relaxing his stoicism. He’s forced to realize that he can sit on the sidelines telling himself what he doesn’t deserve or can fight for what he wants. Derek being so sacrificial becomes a problem for Stiles who has come to care for his wellbeing in all ways. He can never 100% go back to his so called old self because he’s experienced things but the natural parts of him, the parts he hid away to make himself unable to be hurt, those things have been retained. The thing he really wants, having a family is an assessable thing – through building it himself. The romantic subplot helps develop Derek to his full potential. It matches the subject of wolf- human and exploits that concept in the best way giving the story many plotlines and avenues. His internal arc matches with his eternal one but with enough friction to carry the story to fruition.  

It’s important to have your hero’s external goals battle their internal. This makes the hero human, makes the audience not only empathize with him but makes them root for him/her. It makes the climb to being a hero more conceivable. Going back to the wound to identity concept, Michael Hauge puts it like this,

“When characters are traumatized by experiences, they formulate beliefs about the world that will protect them from ever again experiencing pain of those wounds. For example, Judy Hopps, the rabbit, in Zootopia receives a beating from a predator when she was young, this leads her to believing predators are actually just inherently bad – despite what she preaches to the outside world.”

 A writer has to take its character’s experiences into consideration. The things we’re set upon believing have a reason, an experience tied in, a thought, a feeling behind it. Too pretend otherwise, is to error. You don’t wanna give your character a random belief out of nowhere just because it places the story where you, the writer, needs it. That’s cheating, a high handed way to make instant heroes. You never want to have an instant hero…it’s like instant romance, the audience feels cheated and the so called ‘hero’ falls flat and is deemed unworthy – Scott McCall.  You also never wanna give your protagonist a weak struggle. Simply saying “I don’t want change” is not enough, it’s just seems selfish if said change has expanded on your character’s life and skills instead of just brought negativity. If you now have skills that can protect you and others, crying danger is just side eye worthy because simple humans live a life of danger too. This is why layering is such a necessity. Conflicting the hero in his outside world is only half the battle and means next to nothing if his mind isn’t conflicted too. It’s like courage – courageous is not someone who is unafraid being willing to do the thing, it’s someone being afraid and yet willing to face/overcome said fear to do the thing. It’s more interesting to observe the latter than the former. It’s the same with being a Hero, the audience wants to observe that journey, they are living vicariously, that’s the only way they too get to the feel of being a hero.

As a writer, this is what you want. Things should never be easy for your protagonist. Things should never fall to a protagonist just because they’re the protagonist or the lead. Opposition and obstacles creates character. As the protagonist stands in front of a problem, it’s his reaction to the issue and what he decides that tells the audience who he is. This is something Teen Wolf never understood. You can have every character play mouthpiece to how great your character is, how much of a good guy he is…but if actions ain’t showing the same thing, then it’s not believable for the audience.  With Derek, the story stands a chance. You have a protagonist who has real obstacles on both sides – external and internal. Your protagonist job isn’t to be all knowing, or all powerful, or all saying, it’s to be growing, to be in the process of developing. It’s about someone who is able to take something from his experience, from his journey and cycle that and give it back. The reason a lot of people are so in love with Derek, is because we’ve seen him. No one told us who he was, he showed us, and we then saw what he could’ve become.

Things & characters Given Derek V:

             Nogitsune/VoidStiles: Can you imagine the damage and the wreckage the nogitsune aka voidstiles would have given this relationship, given both their internal struggles. The trickster who liked to play mind games, having all of this vulnerability at his feet. On one side you have the wolf rebuilding his faith in humans through his relationship with a human. One the other you have Stiles who has worked on this platform of gaining that trust and now he’s possessed by something that uses him to lie and manipulate. That’s tension! That’s conflict. Authentic character paths. That’s good TV. And if they wanted to bring him back like the show did – ugh – it would’ve have actually made since for him to be someone’s fear since he would’ve been the concept of Stiles being everything negative to a Derek that needs him to be the positive. When your characters stand as a frame that keeps each other standing you have to push them to the edge and make them look at the reality of having that all ripped away. The Nogitsune would have done that for this relationship.

               Ending: On one hand I think I would’ve loved seeing the torch passed on to Boyd. I think it would’ve been grand to see that kind of image and that placement for Boyd considering where he too started off. It’s an appropriate ending to have Derek finally graduate to a place where he can pass that job down (after having actually did the job) on someone else as he moves forward. On the other hand, I watched Teen Wolf have Stiles leave to join the FBI and I wonder if that’s really fitting. If Stiles himself doesn’t fit in the town of Beacon Hills stepping into the shoes of his father. Protecting the home he’s ever known and being a line between these two worlds. Stiles is an excitable person, someone who honestly finds joy in the workings of a case, I sometimes wonder if regular human cases would be enough for him. It makes sense for him to try to work his way to power in that town, continuing that work while having an ear to the community and how those around him response to incidents and or cover up the real happenings. I don’t know, it’s just an aspect that my brain goes back and forth with.

               Younger Derek: I think I would’ve enjoyed a longer plot for young Derek than just coming back for some more Kate torture. In fact I think many plots could have branched into this level and been used as a frame to take us back to Derek's childhood in way that was different from just the norm flashback. I always hated that the way the writers wrote the set up meant Young Derek and Peter didn’t really get to interact.Considering the fact that Tyler H was leaving, they could’ve slotted that actor for a minute.

               Liam & Theo: I’ve grown to like the thought of these characters but then with Derek being the focal character…I’m not sure they would have a place. I say this because Liam is just a better thought out Scott. He starts off naïve and comedic but falls into his line – this is probably cause he’s a side character and that all fits there. And with Theo, his come on would not at all fit with the sterek storyline. Because their theme is trust it would have to be something undeniable and grand in scheme to come in and put mistrust in there (which is why I said voidstiles) and you only want to do that once, to overdo it or to do so weakly would just undermine the relationship. I don’t know how they’d have to mend Theo’s entrance but even then, his interaction with Derek would be mega different from his one with Scott. It made sense for him to come in and tell Scott he was gonna come in and take over his shit he don’t know what he doing…but with Derek at that point it would just be laughable. The only way I see maintaining these characters would be to give Scott his own pack.

               Lydia: I honestly don’t think she should be a part of the Hale pack…or any wolf pack >.> Not in that way. I think she should be focused on her own powers and growth but still helping out when she’s needed. This is nopt about her having or not having a love interest because personally I never subscribe to the ‘this female don’t need love bs’ it’s just about her placement within pack. You can be family and not have to make that leap. I think the show could’ve done great things with Lydia and they failed. I personally would have liked to see her and Derek bond more, I don’t think even going with Stiles as his love interest would have tipped that possibility of that friendship because I don’t think Derek would have been jealous of that old feeling that was never returned. Its stiles past, just like he has a past. Lydia is a capable woman and I think he would’ve seen her for the asset she is.

               Malia: Who?

Things I thought would be interesting:

Stiles and Derek body switch

More Derek Papa Stilinski Interaction

Danny the hacker – Like they just threw the homie away even though he would’ve been a bomb asset!

Lydia and Peter interaction – People might not like that, but being around one another brought aspects I like about each character. I personally like Peter fucking with Lydia because it always brought out a fiery side of her and forced her to deal with a challenge.

If we had to have Malia – she sure as hell would not be a hale but I would put her on the lgbqt spectrum, given her a more believable story and put her with Kira.

True wolf bullshit obsolete

More Erica and Boyd backstory and for them not to have turned her into a sex kitten but a female whose body had been fighting her now having the chance to be more than healhy

Some actual dealing with Peter and Derek’s relationship and the things Peter has put him through

I would’ve def left Derek as young Derek for more than an episode.

Awkward Derek flirting with Stiles – I can’t picture it so I wanna see it lol

Note: So obviously I didn’t include Stiles part in this, I’m eight pages in sooooo decided there will be another part. I’ll probably also talk about how I personally would have liked to see their relationship transpire in that part. I did want to go over how different the human-wolf-new new wolf thing could have been different dependent on the focal character, but at this point I don’t even care nor do I wanna talk about Scott too much because he will be tagged and his fans get pissy and I don’t care about Scott enough to fight for him much less over him. Nor do I generally partake to those fans because the majority are people who like to waste time fighting over him and blaming fandom for the shortcomings the writers created instead of taking it to the board and fighting for him and I find that concept too illogical to entertain. So while making these Articles I try to remain as honest in my opinion as possible while cutting out a lot. Also before people een start let me just say yes, I know the trauma isn’t always used as a foundation (wound is) but for Derek and even for Stiles I think that remains a starter point. Truama isn’t often used in genres like adventure, it can be but it’s less common. In romance its more often even when its not the pov character – for example Pride & Prejudice movie. Elizabeth’s belief system doesn’t come from trauma but from rebelling the teachings of growing up as a woman in that time. The wound however that creates her personal issues with Darcy is in his slight towards her. For Darcy his outlook on the poorer kind comes from a trauma necessarily of his own, but in the trauma of someone he cared deeply for (his sister). Yeah, I got a video of them play on my second screen so they were the example and I love them so. The point being I’m not saying it HAS to be but that trauma is in part Derek’s starter pack. The wound however, is usually a must. I don’t know if I should say the next and final (hopefully) part is gonna be shorter…cause I said that bullshit last time and it was a lie…BUT it should be shorter cause I won’t have to explain everything that time around. Other than that, let me tell you…I was supposed to have posted the final article and the first chapter of my Sterek fic on the Finale day…that didn’t happen. I didn’t finish my fic and the article turned into part one. So I’m not sure if I should finish the chapter first since I’m starting to think I’m using these articles as procrastination or if I should just write the Stiles one and get it out the way. We’ll see but something should probably be done by the end of next week cause it take me so long to do this simple shit >.> I tried to put most of this text under a hide thing but I couldn’t figure that mess out so my apologizes to all the people who had to do the intense scroll!

Teen Wolf Articles

Scott McCall

Stiles Stilinski

Derek Hale

Sterek: Foundation

Sterek: BWRWW: Derek

Upcoming: Sterek BWRWW: Stiles

[formlessmars-blog]

Sub Culture Essay

Introduction

In this essay, the topics of sub-culture within a design is going to be explored with its impact on design holistically and how it impacts design as a whole and why it should be considered in the creation process. The idea is that sub-culture stems from rebellion or desensitization to a parent culture thus creating a group of people who end up separated from its parent culture of which it belongs. 

The idea is to consider not just sub-cultures that may be affected during the design process but rather the idea that a sub-culture that may surface from the result of a design. This notion is mostly observed from a multitude of angles whereby a sub-culture may form out of sheer rebellion or as a response to and a reiteration of a parent culture. 

An in-depth look will be given to the works of Roland Barthes, Dick Hebdige and other concepts such as Semiotics and Hegemony whereby an analysis will be made on subculture to dictate it impacts in design. There will also be an exploration of fandoms that stem from an iconic model in pop culture to further reinforce the concept that subculture is important during the design process. 

Subculture, The Meaning of Style

Author Dick Hebdige published a renowned book focusing entirely on subculture within the British scene around the youth culture called Subculture, The Meaning of Style (Hebdige, 2012). In this publication, Hebdige argues that style or fashion in this sense is the catalyst for subculture in the youth scene where he claims that even the most powerless of a teenager can become a punk rocker through sub-culture. 

Hebdige cites a wide range of subcultures within this text; he credits the skinheads to Rastafarians and even goths however he draws a lot from the ideals of structuralism and Marxist ways of thinking. Furthermore, he explains how black cultures like Rastafarianism pass on their values to other youth cultures with specific reference to dreads as imposing an aesthetic drawn from the 'otherness' of black culture. In this context, black culture serves as the fundamental standard by which other cultures are judged due to their impressionable output. 

Hebdige refers to some subcultures as 'cultural noise, whereby they create blockages within the flow of society due to their rebellious nature thus creating interference with mass culture. The blockage represents where a community has failed to meet the requirements of a subculture, and therefore style is where these groups turn in order to express their needs that they wish to be fulfilled. This also reinforces a concept of a dominant culture having a suppressive nature by way of this model mentioned above. 

Through commodification, one can gain an understanding of style. However, such a belief is only relevant when related to its subculture because once removed; it is then unable to express its need for a subculture. Although this entire publication focuses primarily on style as the focus of the subcultures, we can understand through this the idea of the parent-child relationship between the subculture, and its catalyst. It is this model whereby we base our argument that subculture must be considered in design or during the design process, as the relevancy of design can sometimes be dependant on subcultures that exist either for or against parent design. 

Hebdige says “our task becomes to discern the hidden messages inscribed in code on the glossy surfaces of style, to trace them as ‘maps of meaning’ which obscurely re-present the very contradictions they are designed to resolve or conceal.” (Hebdige, 2012)

Influence of Design on Subcultures

In this example, it's important to understand how subcultures are influenced by design, and then, through ontological design, subcultures form due to the impact of design itself. This is where the belief that subcultures may be an integral part of the design process or at least deserves some recognition when design is taking place. 

Examples in popular culture can be seen widely from music. Music is one of the most significant forms of design that holds such a significant impact that can be seen visually through these groups of people. Famous bands such as Metallica, Pink Floyd or even Nirvana have been observed to have played a role in the creation of not just subcultures but ideologies that would be seen to live on and stand the test of time having both contributed to the old school Rock and Grunge scene who, till this very day, is still being carried out and celebrated. 

To dig even further we can look at how design then can become commercialised as it becomes seemingly relatable to a large group of people such that they begin to assimilate the content or the design into being an integral part of their identities, the most famous example of this would be the band The Grateful Dead which is an old school rock band that has amassed such a large following to the degree where their fans are called 'Dead Heads' thus spawning a merchandise line called The Dead Bears which even today can be seen selling for a lot of money all of which began with the album art designed by Bob Thomas. 

It is evident that when mainstream design is commercialised it then gains the potential to be assimilated into or create a subculture thus giving strength, recognition and credibility to its parent culture. 

Relative to this we can also look at mainstream media for influencing subcultures where we can look at Playboy Magazine for example which made a subculture of men that shared the same views and goals as per what this magazine had suggested. These men who sought out luxurious lifestyles and seek to live out their lives as “Playboys” exactly as models such as Hugh Hefner would portray. This idealised and reinforced the thinking whereby a certain lifestyle became the influence, and like this, we saw a drastic change in the way men dressed for that period, in a way that would be consistent with that of a Playboy lifestyle in order to assimilate and infer it's message into everyday life. 

Subcultures in today's scene such as Hipsters or Vegans all stem from a holistic ideal that made it seem relatable or had a point of reference in order to promote or sell the idea. This is the contrast to the theories posed by Hebdige whereby his arguments represented subcultures as somewhat of a rebellious nature whereas Design Influenced subcultures merely reflect the parent culture and embody its values in their everyday lives. 

Why Subcultures Need to Be Considered

Subcultures are very important to design and can reflect whether or not the design is good or bad. Good design will spawn facets of fandoms and followings where these groups will carry these design elements further. An example of this would be cosplay. Cosplay is short for Costume Play, and generally, this is the act of bringing your favourite character to life, be it from a TV Series, Movie or Video Game. 

In the world of cosplay, a lot of more elegant details are considered, the aspects of the character from their clothing all the way to their hair as well as colours and mannerisms. To gain a better understanding, a video titled Why I Cosplay (YouTube, 2018), Two cosplayers were followed throughout their journey in order to gain a better understanding of their journey and the effort they put in but also, more importantly, to better understand WHY they do what they do. 

One cosplayer accounts: “Through cosplay, I could become these characters, I could live vicariously with how cool they were, and it seems people feel the need to become someone else to strengthen themselves.”  Not only does this account for such an emotional connection with these designs ultimately, but also one must realise what an incredible impact a simple design can have, and to go even further back, we can see that these were pure sketches or drawing at one point that evolved into these characters with personality and flow so much so that another person felt connected enough to bring that character to life for one day. 

“And really what makes cosplay so beautiful is how people can interpret curves and strange clothing pieces that wouldn't even exist in our world.” (YouTube, 2018), Quoted from an unnamed cosplayer, this speaks to how design is interpreted by the masses, this perfectly illustrates how people can consume design and interpret it in their way which is a matter of improving design and making it more efficient, as we're able to see how design can evolve along with the people who consume it. 

Above all, it is essential to consider the sense of community that design can create using cosplay as an example. These designs that were once just ideas brought people together and formed families through their choice of colour and shape. People sought to indeed dig deeper into design than most people would consider and in so doing they have given new meaning to design as a whole. 

And from a designers perspective, it's important to see how design is consumed and what is being interpreted in order to improve the design and this can only be achieved through the use of subculture. 

Looking back at the two contrasting types of subculture that has been covered, going from the rebellious nature to the unifying class, it's therefore crucial that one considers how the design process is portrayed as it could have either reception depending on its execution. 

Why Subcultures Are Intrinsic to Design

Through Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols, we're able to gauge precisely how design is perceived which is relevant to cosplayers and pop culture assimilation of design whereas, on the other hand, we have the concepts of Hegemony and Counter-hegemony which is the suppressive and dominants cultures spoken about through the works of Hebdige. 

These are very contrasting receptions of design however they are the reason why design prosper, it is the only way we, as designers, can gage many things about the designs, all from how its perception to what is being done with it as well as what changes need to be made based on the feedback we receive from the subcultures. 

In conclusion, a brand can gauge its strength through its design based on its subculture if it has one, and alternatively one can design with the idea of a subculture in mind as a design must be strong enough for people to assimilate design on a physical level or even implement it in their own lives. 

Therefore looking at favourite fandoms such as Game of Thrones, Star Wars or even Marvel and DC, These facets of design spawned multiple subcultures from its brand all the way from cosplaying to the creating of new designing spawning from the original. 

Subcultures tell us that design is efficient. As aforementioned, subcultures assimilate designs and make it their own if it successful and even if not, they will pay for counter-hegemonic subcultures for their voices to be heard. In other words, subcultures are the market we are designing for, and they are the make or break whether or not design is in any way successful therefore, we can design with this in mind as the goal, in so doing we will be creating for the right reasons working with the right target market from the get-go and as such we will be able to improve further or retract a design based on its child culture.

[xtruss]

9/11 & Mumbai Attacks Were Inside Jobs: A Detailed Analysis By Elias Davidson

Elias Davidson is an author of several books, including the ‘Betrayal of India.’ GVS team sat down with him in Islamabad and tried understanding his perspective on history since 9/11.

— Magazine Desk | June 8, 2019 | Global Village Space

Most in the west may see German author Elias Davidson as he describes in his own words: “an idiot conspiracy theorist”, but he defines himself as a researcher who works like a historian. Unlike a journalist who travels from place to place, he collects and analyses all the published material, all data in public domain, and the claims made by the government agencies and then attempts to discover the truth hidden behind the trove of lies. GVS team sat down with him in Islamabad, during his recent visit, and tried understanding his perspective on history since 9/11. We offer excerpts from a detailed interview. His claims and judgments are provocative. Readers are the best judge.

GVS: What made you take interest in Mumbai terrorism?

Elias Davidson: Let us begin from 2001, that is, 9/11. I believed, like many others, that it was an operation carried out by Osama Bin Laden, a war backed by Muslim fanatics who professed that they are going to punch the noses of Americans because of what they were doing in Israel and the Muslim world. To be honest, many people in the left felt a little bit happy about it that finally, someone is banging on the head of Americans – and I believed it too. I didn’t really care about 9/11; I thought it just happened.

Until a year later, a friend of mine lent me a book by Thierry Meyssan, who was a French journalist and wrote the first critical book, “The Horrifying Fraud,” on the event. The book explained that it was not possible for a plane to enter the Pentagon and there were contradictions in the official story. So, I read it thoroughly. I checked all the sources, that is, Washington Post, New York Times, to see if he was making something up. However, I realized that he had thoroughly researched and produced the book.

I was astonished that I did not know about these things. It peeked, my curiosity, therefore I went on to investigate 9/11 and I did so for ten years. Rather early in my research, I began to pose the question, ‘who were the perpetrators and what evidence was there from the American government to say that they were Islamic terrorists?’ I searched and tried my best to find evidence, but I found none. There were four categories of evidence in my research. Firstly, the names of passengers; secondly, security videos from the airports; thirdly, witnesses who saw these people at the airport or the boarding phase; fourthly, identification of their bodily remains from the crash sites.

I looked for all this information on the FBI’s website, FBI’s documentation, which was sent to the 9/11 commission, on newspapers, and in books. I combed everything I could and found not a shred of evidence. To sum it up, I documented everything in my first book published in 2013, ‘Hijacking America’s mind on 9/11’. There is a full chapter devoted just to the absence of evidence.

In the last few years, I sue everyone who dares to mention Muhammed Atta, the alleged pilot, as a terrorist or mass murderer. They have to deal with me; I will take him to court and accuse him of defamation – I am a defender of Muhammad Atta in the world. This is a strong statement, and I stand by it because I know it is the truth. I have accused 130 German journalists about it, in another book I published in Germany. I sent the journalists a letter where I stated that I would give them a possibility to retract those accusations on Muhammad Atta and apologize or provide some evidence of their assertions.

GVS: Questioning 9/11 makes people question your credibility, how did you come around to not believing in the American statements on 9/11 in the first place?

Elias Davidson: Let me say one thing; my book was published in the United States in 2013. I commented in black and white with all the sources mentioned. The entire story of 9/11 was a lie; especially about what happened on the day, no Muslim hijackers, the two planes which had crashed were still in the air after the alleged crash time. There is documented evidence from American sources that two of the four planes were still in the air at the time of the alleged crash.

Nobody until today has challenged a single fact in the book. Why? Because there is nothing to question. This is thoroughly documented. Many people in America endorse this book. There are 14 positive reviews of this book on Amazon and zero bad ones. Anybody who is trying to challenge me, please do so. I would be satisfied because I get bored of always getting commended. Please call it wrong. I have sent letters to American professors rebut the book, but nobody takes up the challenge.

GVS: The Mumbai attack, which happened on 26 November 2008, when did you get interested in that?

Elias Davidson: After I finished this work, I began to look at other terrorist attacks, which were attributed to Al-Qaida or Muslims. I thought I’d like to see if they had the same features as 9/11, state operations and so on. I began with the London attacks in 2005. I did in-depth research on that – around 70 pages – which I published as an ebook and came to the same conclusion that it was a state operation.

There were four people, three of them were British Pakistanis, but they were not involved, and they were not the perpetrators. If they were at all involved, then they were patsies and sent with ruck sacks without knowledge of what they were doing; it was just conjecture. What is clear is that the entire official London story is a lie, so I documented it as well.

GVS: We wonder why you don’t find the official explanations convincing? Two of us were in London on the eve of 7/7, in 2005 and we saw it developing the media reports as they poured in?

Elias Davidson: It is not a question of convincing, and you could have been in London, but that doesn’t give you an advantage over me when it comes to details. You did not go through the inquests for four years; I went through all the documents of the investigation that are available publicly. It is thousands of pages long, and I went through every sentence.

I researched in-depth like I usually do and concluded that the story was a fabrication. I don’t know which agency in the UK did it. It is possible that the New York Police department was also involved as they showed an extraordinary interest in the London affairs. They even constructed the so-called bomb factory in New York – a copy of the bomb factory from Leeds – which was allegedly where the bomb was produced.

GVS: What is so surprising about that? If an attack has happened in the UK, it would worry them that a similar attack might occur in the US, so they would simulate similar exercises to know how to deal with it.

Elias Davidson: I understand, but basically, we have the same case with Mumbai, and the New York Police Department was particularly interested in the Mumbai Attacks. They sent a delegation directly, held a conference a couple of weeks later in New York, and made simulations as if they knew everything.

GVS: What do you think is the real reason for their interest?

Elias Davidson: Okay, we will come to it after we discuss London. Everybody interested in my research on 9/11 has to read my books to have an opinion about it. To say that I have any conspiracy theories is not a rational way of addressing anything of that kind. I am a scholar; I have published articles on International Law in the United States, UK, Netherlands, Iran, etc. So, I am not a ‘nobody,’ I am an expert in international law and human rights who has written comprehensive books about these things.

So, anybody who is to deal with these things will first of all have to read them and then can say that they do not agree. However, to call me a conspiracy theorist is like calling me a nut. It has to have a meaning; it should hurt me, but it is so stupid that it doesn’t deserve a response. Anyhow, conspiracies exist everywhere. Even a police investigator is a conspiracy theorist because every crime committed by people is a conspiracy. The term has no meaning basically and is ridiculous – it just a term to demean people.

GVS: Did you visit India for your research on the book?

Elias Davidson: No. Do you think it is not possible to study and come to an understanding unless you physically see the place? How do historians do it? If you want to write about something that happened a hundred years ago, what do you do? You go to manuscripts and documents. Nobody can charge you for not living there; otherwise, there will be no history.

A journalist, typically, is usually not at the scene of the crime. Sometimes he doesn’t even have access to witnesses. So, if you are working as a scholar and you know how to work with evidence, you don’t have to go and speak to a person. I don’t think that I will get more by speaking to somebody who already spoke extensively to the newspapers in India, ten years ago; he will now tell me another story or repeat it. I don’t know but it will not add very much to the investigation and what is already available is so much information and so helpful that I didn’t see a need and I knew that it would not add any value.

I knew that I would get closed doors with the police, even Vinita Kamte, the widow of the slain officer. She came to closed doors with the Mumbai police – people with whom her husband worked. Do you think me coming from Germany would find opened doors? Not. So, there was no point in going there. Moreover, I think anybody using that argument should, first of all, go on the merit of what I wrote. Is there something wrong in the book? Tell me because I am open to that. However, don’t judge me because I am in Germany. I can be in Germany and do better work than someone in India.

GVS: Has the Indian government reacted to your book on Mumbai terrorism?

Elias Davidson: They have reacted like everybody else – they have hidden under the tables – no reaction. Nobody in the official governments in India or anywhere else, no media or journalist reacts to my writings. How can they do it? They can only call me an idiot conspiracy theorist. They cannot deal with the facts which are there with all the sources.

GVS: What were the key facts that attracted you to study the Mumbai attack?

Elias Davidson: I began with London and then I went to attacks in Djerba, Istanbul, etc. These were different terrorist attacks that I studied. I wanted to write an anthology on terror attacks with different chapters, including Mumbai and Bali. So, I came to the issue of Mumbai and began to work on it, just like the others. I never went to these places because I work like a historian; taking information and studying it. So, I deliberated on all of these and tried to find a common thread to compare them.

I thought the study on Mumbai would be only 50-60 pages of research, but it grew and grew to become an entire book because the information available on the issue was huge. Also, the judgment of Ajmal Kasab had a lot of media coverage, and it was a very complex operation – comprised of 8 locations. It required much effort to study the issue and became a book of 900 pages.

It took me two years of work to write it, and I did not write it for any publisher. I just went on researching and had contacts with people in India. I am very thankful to Inspector S. M. Mushrif, who wrote the first critical book on Mumbai attacks called, ‘Who killed Karkare?’ So, I got in touch with him, told him what I was doing, and he encouraged me.

My discoveries on the Mumbai operation grew and grew, and I used only publicly sourced documents. All of these documents are cited in my book, and I have cached all of them on my website in case an article in the Indian newspapers is made to disappear later on. So, in the book, I give a number to Google, which will lead directly to my website and the original document. I don’t know of any author who goes as far as that to help the reader to check his sources. I give all of the sourced documents to the reader.

GVS: What is the significance of the assassination of Karkare?

Elias Davidson: That is very simple – nationalist Hindus threatened him because he was exposing Hindu terrorism and he was shot. He confided to different people, who confirmed that he was afraid for his life, even on the day of his murder. The current Prime Minister of India, Modi, had publicly threatened him and called him a traitor, which under Indian law is passable of a death sentence. So, he was threatened and murdered with 26/11.

GVS: What is your understanding of Ajmal Kasab, who was in Indian custody and whose confessional statement was on television?

Elias Davidson: First of all, I don’t know if his name was Ajmal Kasab because the first information we got through the Indian media was a different name, which gradually changed to Ajmal Kasab. I don’t know if it was his real name and I also don’t know who he was. He told in his stories that he was already arrested in Mumbai two weeks before, etc. Secondly, nobody from Pakistan, neither family nor officials, came to identify him personally. So, we don’t know who he was, or even the photos we have are of this guy or someone else.

GVS: There were rumors in Islamabad that Ajmal Kasab could have been a small-time spy or an infiltrator that entered India from Nepal and was there for quite some time. In his confessional statement, he spoke local Marathi; he was very fluent in the local language and hence, could not have just landed in India through the boat.

Elias Davidson: I did not look at that. Looking into that presupposes that Ajmal Kasab was legitimate and involved in the attacks. However, I don’t have any evidence for that. So, whatever he told in his confessions, which he retracted in his statements, was for me like hot air – I don’t know if he was coached. You see, someone who is held by the police has hardly any access to his lawyers and he was not interviewed by any Pakistani; how can you comment on what he said or what the police said he said. So, for me, it was all hot air.

GVS: Why do you think the Indian state was so quick to execute him?

Elias Davidson: Why should they keep him in alive? This guy was hired to play some role in these attacks by those who organized it. Maybe he was asked to be at CST, to be photographed, if he had admitted in front of people that he was asked to stand with a Kalashnikov at CST, he would have revealed the entire story. So, the best thing is to eliminate this guy.

This is what usually happens with all the so-called Islamic terrorist attacks in the west – the alleged perpetrators are typically eliminated because they do not want these people to come to court. Also, this was maybe a mistake or not, in Mumbai, but here was one case in the Boston marathon. They didn’t kill one guy, and then he was sentenced to death in America, but this usually doesn’t happen. Look at the attack in Berlin, in the Christmas market in 2016.

I wrote the first book on this attack in Germany, it sells very well and is already in the fifth edition. I showed that there was no attack at all, and it was a staged theatre. The German government accuses Anis Amri, an Indonesian guy, who rode a truck and killed twelve people. That was all bullshit. And he was murdered in Milano. The police shot him because he tried to kill the policeman. You see, all these people are eliminated before they can talk, so there is no trial. And so, the government does not have to prove the case.

GVS: In the book, you mentioned that there was no public trial, but there was a trial, and he had lawyers.

Elias Davidson: Let us put it this way – it was a sham trial. It was a judicial farce and was not open or fair. It violated all the basic rules of a fair trial. If you look at the qualifications of a fair trial according to the international human rights law, you will see that this trial violated all the necessary provisions of a fair case and in fact, Amnesty International and other human rights organizations protested against this unfair inquiry.

So, this is not only my conclusion, but many others also considered the trial unfair, which is honestly an understatement. This judge, M L Tahilyani, should be imprisoned, in my opinion, because of how he undermined justice in India and the trust of the public. A person like this deserves to be punished. There was an appeal process, but I am sorry to say that the next levels, the Bombay Court and the Supreme Court of India, abdicated their obligation to seek the truth and justice.

The Supreme Court heaped admiration for this judge. Many years ago, I met a lawyer who was entitled to represent people in the Supreme Court of India, and he told me how the institution is fantastic. His judgments impressed me a lot, so I had a positive opinion of the Supreme Court of India, but I lost all of it after reading what they wrote about the lawsuit.

GVS: Indian position is that the trial was difficult because Pakistani government was not cooperative.

Elias Davidson: There was nothing like that. This is an argument of little standing. I will give you an example; the court could have interviewed the many people who saw all kind of things around these attacks, which contradicted the official account. However, they were not invited to testify. I have named in my book, around 40-50 witnesses who saw things which completely contradict the official statement.

GVS: We had read somewhere that while official account mentioned the use of Kalashnikov AK 47 assault rifles by the attackers, the subsequent autopsy reports at the hospital do not indicate the use of automatic rifles. What do the autopsy reports show, how these people died?

Elias Davidson: There were no autopsies; I am not aware of any autopsy reports. An important point I think I should mention is that there were two parallel series of attacks in Mumbai. I call them domestic attacks and international attacks. The internal attacks began in the CST terminals, railway stations; they then proceeded to Cama hospital, which led to the assassinations of three officers and their assistants and continued to the synagogue on the way to Girgaon.

So, there were four attacks which we will call the domestic operation, which was concentrated and designed to get rid of Karkare. The international operations begun in the Leopold hotel touched the Taj Mahal hotel, Oberoi Trident, and the Nariman House Jewish center – four locations which were mostly frequented by foreigners. The other one was primarily visited by locals and poor Indians. So, there were two operations which had to be coordinated.

There was probably overall coordination of both operations, but most likely two command centers – one for the local and one for the international operation. The Mumbai police commanded the local operation led by Rakesh Maria. He was the key person in the local operation. I don’t know who ran the international operation, but I suspect that there were Americans involved. Now, if we go by that description, we have two operations which are coordinated by one body or one mind.

This mind must have been automatically connected to those who wanted to kill Karkare – the policeman investigating Hindu terrorism. It cannot be, that some people in Pakistan were doing their own thing, and others joined in precisely at the same time.

GVS: Could Karkare not have been an accidental victim of the whole episode?

Elias Davidson: Exactly, this is what the official account says. However, if you look at all the details around the assassination, you will find nothing accidental. For example, police officers who were around the place at the time of the assassination got an order to stand down and not impede. They said it publicly that they were not supposed to go to that place. So, this operation was organized so Mumbai Police would not interfere with the assassination.

Another thing is that in this domestic operation, we were told that there were two people – Ajmal Kasab and Ismail – who went from one place to another and did this killing. However, this is impossible. Why? Because the shootings in the CST continued even after the Cama hospital operation began. The Cama operation started before the end of the shootings at CST and finished by the middle of the night – far longer than the assassination. So, we had at least two to three teams; one team at CST, one at Cama hospital going on until the middle of the night, another team to assassinate Karkare and a fourth team to shoot people near the cinema. So, we had at least four teams in the domestic operation, not just a few people.

GVS: So, none of the attackers, apart from Ajmal Kasab, were identified? How many attackers were there in total?

Elias Davidson: No, not at all. I have no clue. The official story says ten, but there could have been way more. You see because witnesses reported that in each location there were more attackers. In CST, people said there were three or four attackers outside the station. In Leopold, one witness said that three people were coming on a motorbike, and one of them looked European. Moreover, all of these witnesses were never identified.

I don’t know, some of them might be mistaken, but as long as you don’t go into the details and interrogate you will never find out. One attacker, Ajmal Kasab, was captured alive on the cameras with a gun and then made a confessional statement. It was said that he was captured alive, but this was not the first news. The first news was that two people were killed at Girgaon Chowpatty, through the night the story slowly changed that he was not killed but was shot; then a doctor came and said that he was never shot. So, we have these three versions about the capture of Ajmal Kasab.

GVS: What does your research show about the rest of the nine attackers? What happened to them, their dental records, skull records, bodies, identification, etc.?

Elias Davidson: We have nothing, nothing concrete about these nine people. We don’t know where they came from; we don’t know to whom these bodies belong – we only have first names of some of them. I cannot find it because there is no information about them.

GVS: Indian authorities identified a motorboat that sunk, and they had communication intercepts between Mumbai and Karachi, the FBI had a witness, Dawood Gilani, who was American of Pakistani origin. What does your research show about all that?

Elias Davidson: About the boat, in my book, I present four witnesses who said something about it. One witness, as it was reported in the news, spoke to the police, that he saw people coming out of the boat; one person said six and another said there were eight people. However, the one who said that he saw people coming out of the boat stated something else in court; he said that he went fishing and found an empty boat.

So, there was a contradiction between what was said in court and what was said to the newspaper, so we don’t know whom he was lying to. However, in any case, his testimony got dismissed because it was unreliable. In another case, a lady said that she was taken to America, from a fishing village, to testify secretly in January. Her name was Anita, and her story is entirely surreal. She revealed that she saw six people coming out of the boat. I have an entire section on her, as it was reported in the media, both in India and abroad.

GVS: What about the satellite communication intercepts between India and the FBI?

Elias Davidson: Do you mean the telephone calls? It’s nice that you brought that up. It is the biggest blunder of the organizers. They should have been smarter about them. First of all, the phone calls were organized by the FBI in such a way that you cannot see who called. It said that the call was made from Pakistan, but the calls were transmitted from a company based in New Jersey. A company in Delaware owns the VOIP Company in New Jersey.

The FBI intercepted all the calls and later when the investigation was to be conducted, organized an interview from the court, with the owner of the company on video. The FBI connected the court to this man in Canada, through an agent in California. So, the FBI was a central agent around the calls. They intercepted all the calls. Basically, the FBI was organizing all these things.

GVS: How can you say that the FBI was organizing this? We can argue that the FBI claims to have intercepted all the calls which were made via the internet, and telephone, and the FBI got to see all that.

Elias Davidson: Well, this is one part of it. If you focus logically, the FBI has many things to worry about. How could the FBI come to the idea of intercepting calls, in the spur of the moment, between somebody in India and somewhere else? You cannot do it unless you know. Indian witnesses said that they knew telephone numbers of the attackers before the attacks.

There was foreknowledge of the telephone numbers used by the attackers. So, the foreknowledge existed already in India, and I suppose with the FBI; otherwise, they could not intercept the calls. It is not logical. You cannot intercept the call unless you know something is going on and you are alert. All that I am saying is well-documented.

GVS: Have you not talked to the Indian authorities after 900 pages of research?

Elias Davidson: Let me give you an example, if you have a criminal unless you have the power of an Attorney and unless you have the ability to subpoena people and to force them to come and interview, you cannot interview a criminal or a suspect.

GVS: However, the critical questions regarding the evidence, the nine attackers that were never identified, you could have raised questions to the Indian officials about the inconsistencies in the case.

Elias Davidson: Do you think, realistically, that a guy sitting in Germany will get answers from Indian authorities who are implicated in that? This is not realistic. I am writing letters every day to officials in India, to ask questions, and I never get any response. They don’t want to implicate themselves. I would have liked to talk to witnesses, but you can never reach the witnesses. I was talking to a victim (I will not disclose where she is), and she said that she went to Mumbai later and everyone was afraid to speak to foreigners. They are fearful for their lives.

GVS: Why do you think India organized this? What was the motivation or the goal?

Elias Davidson: It is clear that this was a massive and complex operation. My approach was, first of all, forensic. I did not think about motives in the beginning. I began to look for motives after finalizing the forensic part. I started with India, but also what could motivate Pakistan, United States, Russia, etc. As per my research I see several motives for India. One was to provide adjustment for increases in the budget for the military and the police; they pushed for that.

Secondly, and an essential thing, was to accelerate the buildup of a national security state or a domestic surveillance state or the big brother state in India; this was a program that had started earlier but accelerated automatically after Mumbai. As I discovered later, India may be a test laboratory for the United States, on how to create a big brother society in such a big country. So, it might have even been supported by Obama and the administration at the time, to use India as a laboratory for such an enormous national security state.

However, this is conjecture; what is not conjecture is that India is building a national security state. Third, politically, it helped to unite the Indian public around the threat from Pakistan and shift to the right for the BJP. Fourthly, this event galvanized the middle class in India, who were previously very complacent about national security; all at once they were on the streets to demonstrate for more security in Mumbai. After that, the security industry boomed.

Fifth, certain elite segments of the Indian society who had wanted to increase cooperation with Israel and the United States; benefited directly. After the Mumbai attacks, the interim minister resigned, and Chidambaram took over, and he was the key opener for the FBI to give them direct access to Ajmal Kasab, and all the information on Mumbai attacks. He opened the gates of India for American Intelligence, American law enforcement, etc. This was auto commanded, he said it himself, and the Americans confirmed it.

GVS: Did the FBI ever make definitive judgments about the Mumbai issue? Have you ever seen anything in which they concluded black and white? Like the Dawood Gilani case.

Elias Davidson: No, Gilani or Headley is a Red Herring. It is utterly irrelevant to Mumbai. To my knowledge, the FBI did not issue a paper to cite anything directly. What the FBI did was first, they sent a team straight to Mumbai during the attacks. Second, they got direct access to Ajmal Kasab even before he got a lawyer; they interviewed him for nine hours. Thirdly, they were participants of the phone calls.

Fourthly, they organized with the New York police department, if I remember correctly, about one to two weeks after the attack, a seminar on how to cope with such an attack. Now, at that time no investigation had been released, but the FBI and the NYPD were ready with a blueprint of how it was done. And this is documented. They had a conference with people from all over the United States, to discuss the modus operandi of Mumbai. At this time, as I said, they could not have had such information because it requires much more time to investigate such an operation.

GVS: You must have heard the Indian argument that the Mumbai attacks were orchestrated by elements in Pakistan so that there is continued hostility between India and Pakistan; otherwise, India and Pakistan could have come close to each other. What is your perspective on that?

Elias Davidson: Well, this might have been one of the reasons. I don’t think that it was the primary reason. I mentioned already the motives of India; this could have been one of the reasons. However, I stand with my investigation to think that it was not the main reasons. Pakistan was only the by-product. It is handy politically, but the main thing was the domestic and economic reasons with the United States.

GVS: However, Mumbai terrorism provided the pretext for the United States and, mostly, India to declare Pakistan as a terror-sponsoring and terrorist state. And the Pakistanis have often thought that the Mumbai attacks were arranged to get Pakistan by the neck and to take it to the Security Council as a terrorist state.

Elias Davidson: Yes, this is true and absolutely correct.

[sometimesrosy]

Do you have any new takes on the S4 L mentions now that some time has passed, Rosy? Do you think she'll be brought up at all in s5?

I should probably watch S4 again to have a new perspective on it.

Niylah mentioning it was to help Clarke get over it. I think. This was about grief and healing. And CL. Relationships. Moving on. Niylah was there for Clarke. It was about CLARKE. 

Roan mentioning it was to try and manipulate her into doing what he wanted. It was about politics and about Roan. He was a politician. He liked Clarke, but he also wanted things to go his way. And part of why he liked Clarke was because they had similar views that could sometimes be on the same side and sometimes could come together and sometimes could be influenced. His words about L in season 4 didn’t seem to match the what happened in season 3. 

Whenever a character says something on this show that seems to contradict what they’ve said or done before, I try to compare and contrast their past action/words with their current action/words and make sense of the difference. 

Are they lying? Did their opinion change? Is this growth or regression? Is it fear? are they lying to themselves? Are they trying to manipulate someone? Were they lying before? Did someone influence them? Does it fit their character? Do they have ulterior motives?

One possibility is that L put Roan on the throne, so he wants to reinforce her memory because her action made him the king and it strengthens his claim on the throne. One possibility is that he always liked L in the first place… but that does not reconcile with the way he did what she asked, and she reneged on her promise to free him. 

People really underestimate the negative consequences of L constantly dishonoring her own promises. Her words mean nothing because she will go back on them whenever it serves her purposes. All alliances with L are shaky, because she will stab you in the back if she decides it’s “for her people.” What is “for her people” changes according to what she wants. Whether that is blood for blood or to get Clarke to like her or to make her subjects afraid of her. (which btw, is a terrible leadership policy.)

Roan does not want Clarke to take on this aspect of Lxa…. although, with the stealing of the bunker, she does, and from his pov, also when she tried to become Heda. She tried to work with him and he refused because of what he saw as her betrayal. And so she stole the bunker as her only choice, because it was best “for her people,” or humanity. So, we’ve got a replay of Lxa’s betrayal at MW, a major trauma, but this time with Clarke taking on the role of the betrayer. 

In all the shipwars and stanning, I think people overlook that fact that betraying your allies and breaking your promises is, OBJECTIVELY, a bad thing to do. L has a history of betraying people, and going back on her agreements. It starts out framed as beneficial, something to help her people, her allies, to strengthen everyone, but by the time we get to TonDC, it has ALREADY become a sacrifice of her own allies to strengthen HER position and get HER the ends she desires.

 If you betray people, no one will ever trust you, all of your alliances and connections in the future will be weaker, because your friends will always be looking out for you to betray them and they ALSO will be looking for opportunity to get you before you can get them. It is not “for your people” when you have declared an alliance already, for your people. When none of your people agree. When your people’s goals align with the allies, not the enemies. And the narrative reinforces this by having her allies, the coalition, lose faith in her, the Azgeda work against her, the ambassadors challenge her, Nia attack skykru to get at her, and the coalition leaders stage a coup to get her deposed, and Titus telling her she is wrong and desperately trying to stop her disastrous policies. When you betray your allies, they will betray you. You cannot keep them together. Your community, your society, will fall apart, because no one will trust the bonds of agreement you make. And this is PRECISELY what happened in the story. (I can’t believe I have to explain to people that betraying your allies and breaking your promises is a BAD thing and how it affects you.)

Clarke, as a character, has ALWAYS been too easily led by persuasive leaders, from Jake to Bellamy, to Dante, to Lxa, to Jaha. This is one of her flaws. She takes on many of their most harmful lessons along with their wisdom. So from Jake she gets the desire to protect humanity, but also a foolish self sacrifice. From Bellamy, she learns how to work together, but also this idea that what you do to survive does not define you. From Dante, she learned a responsibility to her people, however she picked up the inaccurate “I bear it so they don’t have to.” They all have to. And it doesn’t take away the evil. From Lxa she learned how to have conviction in her decisions, but also, apparently, that “I did it for my people” is actually a valid excuse. From Jaha, she learned how to play to the masses, but also to sacrifice those not deemed worthy. 

I said in another post that maybe the “big bad” of season 4B is actually humanity’s flaws,as those are what keeps them from working together to survive the apocalypse. We see the grounders and sky crew taking on their previous destructive habits, grounders wanting to fight everyone and sky crew’s lack of value for individual people. Both people invalidate human suffering on the grounds that if they harm someone else, they can protect the people they have declared as chosen. Tribalism.

And in season 4B, Clarke herself is struggling with her own tribalism, replaying the bad leadership lessons of these past leaders. She flirts with the greatest evil– and pulls back. We not only got callbacks to Lxa, using mainly Roan, I think, as the finger pointer, but also to Dante. She nearly tortures Emori before she repeats Dante’s words, and transforms the meaning of sacrifice, by taking the nightblood herself. They use Clarke’s list, which was declared to be Jaha-esque. And Clarke closes the door, saving only her people, with Jaha’s approval. A betrayal of the coalition, Roan, Kane and Octavia, just like Lxa, in TonDC and at MW. 

BUT, because Clarke is the hero of the show and despite being a grim show, it really is about finding hope and trying to make the world a better place, we are finding Clarke LEARNING and growing, and she’s taking the bad lessons she has learned and making better choices. I believe she’s using the Bellamy influence…Bellamy who has reversed his original “who we are and who we need to survive are two very different things,” in his attempt to redeem himself for the deaths he’s caused and do the right thing, rather than what is right for his people. She is pulled back from each of her regressive leadership choices with thoughts of Bellamy, Bellamy himself, and a reassessment of what it means to lead, to make choices, to sacrifice others or yourself, to make the world a better place.

You know, Abby has always represented a kind of evolved leadership philosophy, although she was better as a doctor than a chancellor. And Kane was transformed by his first culling into the evolved leader. (How will the regression of the second culling affect him?) And they’ve both given Clarke and Bellamy leadership advice that has led to them making better choices. 

Oh. Was this post about Lxa? Right. That’s what I think. She is important, within the narrative, for how she affected Clarke and the politics and the grounder plot lines. To put Lxa first in consideration, whether because you love her or hate her, is a misleading interpretation. Even when L had her biggest role, it was not ABOUT L, it was about CLARKE. Because the story is and was and has always been about Clarke. Who is the hero. 

I do not have it in me to get upset about L mentions in season 4 anymore. I’m just going to look for how it affects Clarke and the grounders. In other words. The story. Of The 100. Which is not The Lxa Show, because she is neither the hero, nor a main character, nor the center of the story, nor the most important anything. She is simply another character/storyline. And that’s how I’m reading her part. She’s on a par, for me, with Maya, who I liked better, and who was a better person. Or Roan, who was more fun. But as for importance? Maya is underrated and Lxa is overrated by both sides of the fandom. And I wish we still had Roan around. 

[panharmonium]

three old notes i made for myself about the opening scene of “battlefields,” retrieved from my ancient email history and compiled together here at @brambleberrycottage’s request :) 

1) she was someone to him, too

that first line of stiles' about allison is so significant.  it's one of those lines that says so many things without saying anything at all; all the deep meanings are unspoken.

i don't think he's talked to allison, either.  

but that might be more her choice.  

you know?

every time i watch that i think, "no, ms morrell doesn't know.  but you do."

the show doesn't make the comparison in words, but it does make the comparison.  having stiles add the 'you know?' after that pause - having him accurately infer that allison is choosing not to talk to scott (which we see confirmed in the next shot, when she ignores the message scott left on her car window) - having the "you know?" placed over this shot of his eyes, where his gaze does a tiny shift down and away from ms morrell, off into space, the way we look when we're looking at something that isn't there, when we're thinking about something else.

he knows.  the show makes the comparison without having to say a single thing about it; it doesn't have to tell us in so many words - these little things are enough to remind us.  he knows.

this is such a little moment that is so important to me, the jumping-off point for their connection.  because it's not that they weren't friends before - but it used to be more of a 'you're my best friend's girlfriend/you're my boyfriend's best friend' kind of thing, whereas this is a crisis point, a turning point, one that kicks off their building of a relationship that will exist on its own terms.

and this relationship-building is a thing stiles chooses to make happen, at least in the writing-verse i’ve been playing in, anyway - i have a lot of feelings about this process and about the internal impulse stiles feels to do something, to be available, to be there, because everybody should have somebody.  he had somebody.  allison should have somebody, too.  

i don’t think he even consciously recognizes how strong that conviction of his is; he's just doing what feels right, but really what he's doing is exactly what chris tells allison earlier in the season:

what you know makes you responsible.  

stiles knows.  and so stiles feels responsible.  "whether you want it or not, you can do things that nobody else can do.  so that means you don't have a choice anymore.  it means you have to do something."  he's in a position to do things for allison that nobody else in their group can do.  he knows things that nobody else in their group knows.  he can do something - and that means he has to do something.

and that's why when we say stiles isn't nice, it doesn't mean he isn't good.  this girl dumps his best friend and it doesn't matter; he doesn't care; he's still going to be there, he's still going to go out of his way to make himself available.  he can't not do it.  he feels compelled to do it, in a way he doesn't fully understand but can't refuse or ignore.

2) (not) appeasing my parents so they don’t take away my car keys

aka, how stiles actually interacts with ms. morrell vs how we originally would expect him to interact with ms. morrell.

going back to that whole ‘stiles as a mass of contradictions/a character who defies expectations/doesn’t fit in a box’ thing i always talk about - because just looking at his character and what we know about him and the constant litany of ‘i’m fine’ that he recites to people around him, as well as how he handles adults he doesn’t have a connection with (see 3a & b for more on that) - you’d expect him to be more like lydia.  especially given that as far as the kids know, at this point, ms. morrell doesn’t know anything about the supernatural stuff they’re dealing with; she’s just a plain old guidance counselor.

but when we come into that scene, stiles is working with her.  he isn’t doing the lydia “it’s a butterfly” dance, which is what we would originally expect.  coming into that scene for me feels like stiles is pretty familiar with how this goes, and maybe he’s not completely comfortable, but he’s still willing to work with this lady, as long as she doesn’t give him a reason to retract his consent.

how do i organize my thoughts about this, um -

stiles absolutely COULD do the “it’s a butterfly” shutdown/evasion if he wanted to, and he absolutely would, if he stopped feeling like this was worth his time or if the counselor in front of him gave him a reason to withdraw his very temporary and very conditional trust.

the way stiles works with ms. morrell very much gives me the implied sense that stiles knows school counselors.  not ms. morrell herself, but school counselors as an Experience, you know, he knows that whole scene.  he answers every question that's asked of him, even asks a pointed one of his own ("how come you're not taking any notes on this?" - "i do my notes after the session" - "your memory's that good?").  he knows this process well enough.  

and the way that he works with her also implies that he’s willing to roll with counselors, up to a point.  like - stiles is so often smarter than the people on the other side of the desk; he is often two steps ahead of them, and he could, if he decided to, game their system.  he probably has, plenty of times, because stiles is, again, one of those kids who knows who he is and who knows what’s good for him and who doesn’t need unfamiliar adults/authority figures to affirm him or give him permission for anything.  he makes decisions without their input.

so what i'm saying is, if stiles decided he was done with counseling with ms. morrell, he’d be done.  it would just be over, that’s all.  she wouldn’t get anything else out of him - he’d either go lydia and take the “it’s a butterfly” route, or go master manipulator and manipulate himself right out of the room, testing normal/”fine” on every scale.  

but he doesn’t do that.  ms. morrell doesn’t have to pull information out of him; he volunteers it when she doesn't even request it.  i.e., ms. morrell says “one positive thing came out of all this, though, didn’t it?”, about stiles’ father getting his job back - and if stiles were just sitting there talking to her because he was being forced to, if he were lydia-ing his way through the whole thing, all he would’ve had to say is “yeah, i guess,”  and that would have been enough.  he could have left it there; it would have been a completely satisfactory answer. but he doesn’t.  he volunteers extra information.  he puts more out there when he doesn’t need to - he gives her something new when she doesn't even ask: “yeah.  yeah, but i still feel like there’s something wrong between us.  i don’t know, it’s just like tension when we talk.  same thing with scott."

and he does it again, when she asks “how about we get back to you?  stiles?”

“i’m fine.”  and you think it’s going to be just that, the lydia answer, but it’s not: “yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible’s about to happen.”

he gives that information up when he doesn’t have to.  he’s a willing participant in their discussion.  and yes, his willingness to participate absolutely can and will be withdrawn, immediately and without apology, if what he’s doing stops being valuable for him, if he stops benefiting from it - but he’s willing to run with it, for the time being.  

it's like….stiles is this kid who doesn’t feel any particular desire for counseling, when he’s not in the room, but he’s been in the room enough times to know how it works, and he knows that sometimes it’s a complete waste of time and sometimes it’s okay, and he’s willing to work within a system that he could manipulate himself out of in half a second as long as that system doesn’t give him a reason to change his mind.  he may not have any connection to ms. morrell in particular, but his M.O. is to give counseling its chance and roll with it for as long as it feels useful.  

this is just a very interesting dynamic to me, because it's definitely not what you would expect just from looking at his other character attributes.  and stiles and his attitude toward adult authority is one of my favorite character things to look at with him, because he just reminds me SO strongly of some kids i've known and it's so difficult to express what it is - it's not rebelliousness, it's just a mixture of self-awareness and self-sufficiency that renders the vast majority of external adult influence...unnecessary.  not resented, but always just - extraneous.

3. because...he’s evil.

(cn ableist language in the quoted material)

the exchange ms. morrell has with stiles about matt daehler is what i mean when i say this entire scene is a stiles stilinski character study.  

"are you saying you hope matt felt some peace in his last moments?"

when ms. morrell asks him that question, stiles looks up immediately, with a look on his face that says he knows exactly what she’s trying to get out of him, but he's not going to lie to appease anybody, and he's not ashamed of the truth, either, even when he thinks other people will say he should be.  

"i don't feel sorry for him."

"can you feel sorry for the nine year-old matt who drowned?"

and this bit, character-wise, this is THE BIT, because stiles makes this exasperated little expiration of breath and readjusts his lacrosse stick and proceeds to explain to her, in the clearest possible terms, no.

no.

Just because a bunch of dumbasses dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one.  And by the way, my dad told me that they found a bunch of pictures of Allison on Matt's computer.  And not just of her though; I mean, he photoshopped himself into these pictures.  Stuff like them holding hands, and kissing...you know, like he had built this whole fake relationship.  So yeah, maybe drowning when he was nine years old was what sent him off the rails, but the dude was definitely riding the crazy train.

and this is huge, here, because stiles isn’t fronting.  he’s not compensating for some kind of submerged guilt or pity - he legitimately does not feel sorry for matt.  

i love that the show allows this, that it doesn't take the easy route and give all its characters the same heroic empathy.  because scott mccall would have answered this question differently - but the show doesn't pass judgment on whether scott or stiles is right, the same way ms. morrell doesn't challenge stiles' explanation.  it just lets us have the differences.  it lets these characters exist with legitimately dissimilar outlooks on life borne out of dissimilar life experiences.

ms. morrell asks stiles specifically about "the nine year-old matt who drowned." what exactly is stiles supposed to answer that with?  stiles is not scott mccall. stiles loves scott mccall - loves him for being the kind of person who always wants to try with everybody; loves (and worries about) the fact that scott is the kind of person who would give someone like deucalion a second chance to do better - but stiles and scott, close as they are, have lived very different lives. and when ms. morrell asks stiles about whether he can feel sorry for the nine year-old matt who drowned, stiles can't say anything but no.

no.

bad things happen to everybody.

they happen to people who deserve them.

they happen to people who don't deserve them.

they happen to grown-ups.

they happen to nine year-olds.

and what happens to you, after something happens like that, is your call.

can you feel sorry for the nine year-old matt who drowned?  

he can't.  stiles was drowning when he was nine, too.  somebody threw matt in a pool, and then in the span of a few minutes matt was pulled out again.  life threw stiles in the pool and that was it; that was his new plane of existence - agony now, hell later, just survival - trying to hold his breath underwater.  it's called voluntary apnea.  no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding.

climbing out of that pool took years.  some days his feet are still in.  but he managed it, and he managed it without turning into a murderer, or an abusive stalker, so when ms. morrell asks him about nine year-old matt, sixteen year-old stiles looks back at his own nine year-old self and says no.

take responsibility for yourself.  

he tells danny that later, as a joke.  but it's exactly the right summary of where stiles is coming from here.

[idemandoolong]

Being handsome sucks.

I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Being handsome has no disadvantages. It’s like being rich or white.” Truth is, there are disadvantages to everything. And being a physically attractive man has its disadvantages. Allow me to explain. Just hear me out.

First of them all, let’s be honest. There’s a strong belief among many people that men are dogs. Men are perverts. Men are sex-crazed. So much so that words like “whore” and “slut” are exclusively attributed to women for doing the same exact thing men (allegedly) do. Keeping that in mind, handsome men are even more prone to be thought of as sex-crazed and players and pimps than average or unattractive men are, because the belief is they can get women much more easily. So that’s what they’re doing.

When we see a handsome man, we immediately think, “Oh I bet he has a lot of women after him. I bet he’s juggling five or six women at a time.” Media reinforces this by showing us music videos and movies and television programs with fifty women chasing one man or dancing all over him or entering contests to be with him.

Think about that.

When have you ever in your life seen a woman literally chasing a man? Or following a man around in a store because she thinks he’s hot? Or a man with eight or nine women dancing on him in the club. Either never or practically never, right?  Unless he’s famous. But if he’s not, even handsome men don’t really get this daily level of attention in real life. Only in scripts.

Which brings me to my point.

When people see handsome men, thanks to constant media reinforcement, they believe he actually does have women literally chasing him and competing with 20 other women for his “love.” People who would otherwise like to get to know him then have their guard up and think “Well he’s not going to get me! I’ll show him!”

They’ll reject him if he does show any interest in them.

They’ll be rude to him out of revenge for all the hearts he’s broken…in their imaginations.

They’ll expect any type of interaction he initiates is actually his way of hitting on them…because that’s the only think handsome men think about, right? Sex.

He got in the elevator with you because he wants to have sex with you.

He walked down the same aisle in Wal-Mart as you because he wants to have sex with you.

He’s from the same hometown you’re from because he wants to have sex with you.

Believe it or not…and you’d be wise to believe it…one problem handsome men deal with is potential romantic partners not trusting them. That is, if they even get that far. A lot of times, they’re rejected right out the gate because the perception is “You’re a player.”

Ok, so you may be saying, “Ok, being trusted. That’s ONE downside of being handsome. But there aren’t any other ones.”

And I may be saying “You’re wrong.”

Ok, I am saying that.

So what’s another downside? People expect handsome men to be virtually flawless because that’s how they look.

Now look. EVERYONE judges people based on their physical attributes. We can all sit here and say we don’t, but we do. And I don’t mean facial features. I mean hair, clothing, weight, muscle mass…we take one look at a person’s physical characteristics and are convinced we know things about them without even asking. Think of a time where you knew of somebody that you didn’t speak to for an extended period of time. Then when you did speak to them, you realized most of your assumptions were wrong.

That’s what handsome men deal with on a daily basis. Only thing is it’s impossible for them to live up to people’s assumptions, because no two people on the planet have the same idea of what a perfect person is.

When two people see somebody they both agree is handsome, they’ll automatically attribute traits to him based on their own idea of perfection—and a lot of those traits contradict the other person’s. Person A will think, “Wow. I bet he really likes children, is highly educated, reserved, is socially conscious, has a close relationship with God, is caring, makes a lot of money, and can sing very well.” Person B will think, “Wow. I bet he’s down-to-earth, extroverted, adventurous, dominant, spends lots of time with his romantic partner, loves sports, and is very clean.”

The handsome man can’t be all of those things, because some of them contradict one another. Highly educated and loves sports? That’s very rare. Extroverted and reserved? Psyche! Makes a lot of money and spends lots of time with his romantic partner? Get real! Ok…enough slang from the early 1990s.

What I’m saying is there is absolutely no way this handsome man can meet both these people’s desires, and there’s barely a chance he’ll even meet all their individual ones. But he’s handsome…which means he must…because it’s been drilled into our heads from early childhood that attractive things and people are good, and unattractive things and people are bad. When you’re told something essentially every single day, and it’s reinforced through media, it’s close to impossible to just stop believing it at the drop of a hat.

So what happens when this handsome man does get with a romantic partner? Disappointment. The romantic partner realizes he didn’t get his bachelor’s degree from Harvard, his two master’s from Oxford, and his PhD from MIT. Oh, and he can’t sing. And sometimes he snores. He’s impatient. His handwriting is sloppy. The movies he likes aren’t that great. He called it “a glove department” rather than “a glove compartment.” He doesn’t follow politics. He can’t find Estonia on a map. He slams the door when he leaves. He leaves soap residue on the bottle and doesn’t clean it off. He laughs too hard. His ringtone is so annoying. Oh my god…he’s a normal, regular, average, everyday person with the same flaws and faults as that average-looking guy I turned down. HE TRICKED ME!

Ah, yes. Handsome men are constantly accused of “tricking” people. Tricking people into believing they have these wonderful perfect magical lives where nothing goes wrong and they never make any mistakes. That’s why women who date male celebrities known for their looks are called stupid and dumb for breaking up with them.

“Oh my god?! Why would she divorce him??! She’s crazy! Look at him!”

She divorced him for the same reason everyone else gets a divorce. She wasn’t happy. And I’m not saying she imagined him to be perfect, but the expectations handsome men have thrust on them tend to be much higher than the expectations average and unattractive men have thrust on them. This explains why handsome men tend to get away with bad behavior—it’s figured he must’ve had a good reason to do what he did, because he never does anything wrong. Average and unattractive men don’t have to live up to god-like expectations from people—especially from romantic partners.

They’re allowed to annoyingly slide their feet when they walk. But a handsome man better glide silently or he’s a trickster.

Average and unattractive men are allowed to wait until payday to do something, but handsome men better be able to drop $2,400 easily, every day, all day. Otherwise he’s a fraud.

Average and unattractive men are allowed to miss the point of what you’re saying and only focus on the easiest part to reply to, but handsome men better be able to repeat verbatim what you said. Otherwise he’s a charlatan.

Ok. So what have we covered? Handsome men must overcome the instant player accusation and they must be damn near perfect in every way, even if those ways contradict each other. Then there are the other inconveniences handsome men deal with:

Being stared at in public. Remember how irritated you got when that one person was staring at you? Now imagine it happening pretty much every day and everywhere you go.

People they’re not attracted to not taking “no” for an answer, no matter how polite or rude the handsome man is. You know that person who texts you and never has shit to say? Handsome men are talked to every day by people who don’t have shit to say.

Being flirted with when he’s not in the mood to talk to anyone. You ran into the store to get some batteries right quick, then went back home. It took the handsome man twenty extra minutes because the cashier wouldn’t stop talking to him. He just wanted batteries too, but he has to feign interest in people you walked right by and wouldn’t remember them if you saw them 15 seconds later.

Envious people trying to make his life hard. Most hiring managers are men, and if they think this candidate is handsome...well he won’t get hired because the hiring manager doesn’t want to feel self-conscious every time he sees him. Or if he does get the job, co-workers and supervisors are harder on him to show “You aren’t so great!”

The belief that if a handsome man is kind, it means he’s romantically interested. If he’s unkind, it means he’s conceited. Handsome men aren’t allowed to just be friends with people. They’re not granted that privilege because we’re told they don’t want friends. They want sex.

Loneliness. People don’t trust him and/or they ONLY want to associate with him in hopes of dating him. Nobody is genuinely interested in his well-being. Nobody feels he has real problems and needs help. Nobody texts him in a crisis.

Now you STILL may say this doesn’t seem so bad, but oh…it is. We can all think of times when people said they envied you for some reason, and you thought, “Well it’s not so great, actually.” You pointed out the downsides of whatever it was they wish they had, and they were either surprised…or they denied it. They still told you what you had was perfect, but you insisted it wasn’t. It has its good parts AND bad…but they wouldn’t hear it. It got to the point that you were annoyed at how ignorant and arrogant they were to literally tell you that your experiences are incorrect.

So after reading all this…don’t be that person.

[ntrending]

How Pluto keeps its secret ocean warm

New Post has been published on https://nexcraft.co/how-pluto-keeps-its-secret-ocean-warm/

How Pluto keeps its secret ocean warm

Scientists have collected more and more evidence in recent years that a liquid ocean of water probably exists under the icy surface of Pluto—a wild prospect for a dwarf planet that orbits the sun nearly 40 times farther away than Earth does, with temperatures dropping below -380 degrees Fahrenheit. Those circumstances raise a fierce question: how could a subsurface ocean on Pluto, should it really exist, possibly stay unfrozen?

Just like a thermos is designed to insulate warm coffee from the cold elements of the outside world, so too does Pluto retain its own insulation tricks to keep its global ocean nice and toasty (relatively speaking). In a study published in Nature Geoscience on Monday, a team of planetary scientists demonstrate that a layer of gas likely exists just beneath the icy shell of the dwarf planet’s surface, capable of conferring a warming insulation to the ocean and keeping temperatures high enough so things stay liquid. The findings help reconcile a number of contradictory mysteries, giving scientists possibly their best explanation yet for what’s brewing beneath the surface of one of the solar system’s most exotic celestial bodies.

We don’t have direct observations of the supposed subsurface ocean, but there are two main lines of evidence that support its existence. First, theoretical calculations show the radioactive decay of rocks inside Pluto would produce enough heat to sustain an underground ocean. Second, there are geological features consistent with subsurface oceans, like fractures created from ocean refreezes.

One of Pluto’s most evocative regions is called Sputnik Planitia, a big basin near the equator and the home to the western lobe of Pluto’s famous pale “heart” surface formation. Basins don’t form near equators unless they are areas of high density. Since Sputnik Planitia is a hole, the mass must be located underground; and since ice is less dense than water, it would make sense for a deep pool of liquid to reside underneath a thin sheet of ice. So if there’s an underground reservoir of water somewhere on Pluto, Sputnik Planitia is where you want to look.

That’s precisely what Shunichi Kamata was thinking—if scientists could first solve a contradiction. A researcher based at Hokkaido University of Japan and the lead author of the new study, Kamata says that an ocean would be a sign that Pluto’s interior is warm, but if the interior is warm, the planet’s icy shell would be soft enough to deform easily, creating enough ice flow where the shell could morph into a uniform global shape. Sputnik Planitia’s existence defied this expectation, and Kamata and his team wanted to know why.

Francis Nimmo, a planetary scientist at the University of California Santa Cruz and a coauthor of the study, says he and others previously believed the ocean’s existence had to do with ammonia concentrations that were conferring antifreeze properties to the ocean and preventing ice flow. “That made everyone a bit uncomfortable,” says Nimmo. “It’s not very likely that that much ammonia is available. So this new study was an attempt to explain the lack of ice flow, without having to put a lot of antifreeze into the ocean.”

Kamata set to work trying to figure out a model that could reconcile all the different processes, and eventually, he realized his calculations needed to consider the presence of gas.

While “insulation” is an easy way to understand what’s going on, it’s not as though the gas is working in the same mechanism as, say, insulation stuffed inside drywall. As ice forms, its molecular structure solidifies and expands into a crystalline formation. Sometimes gas molecules become trapped inside “cages” of ice called clathrates. When clathrates form, they increase the thermal insulation properties of ice 10 times over. They’re able to keep the ocean warm and the icy shell cool, preventing ice flow.

“Clathrates look pretty much like regular ice, but if you light them, they burn quite nicely,” says Nimmo. The gassy molecules in these clathrates are thought to be methane, surrounded mostly by water. The clathrates probably form as they capture methane molecules bubbling up from below as the ice shell slowly thickens. “Where the gas molecules come from is a good question,” he says.”They might either be left over from when Pluto originally formed, or they might have been formed by reactions in Pluto’s silicate core as it warmed up.”

Kamata, Nimmo, and their colleagues validated the models through computer simulations that considered the evolution of temperature inside Pluto, as well as the evolution of the shape of the icy surface shell. In the absence of the clathrates, the ocean would have frozen up a billion years ago, and the ice shell would have flattened out soon after. “It might have turned into a huge comet-like body,” says Kamata. Instead, this mechanism spells good news for the subsurface ocean’s future, allowing it to stay liquid for probably billions of years into the future, and keeping the ice above tough as nails.

It’s a great explanation, but these models are just that—models, not proof. “There are more definitive tests which are often used to detect subsurface oceans, but right now we can’t do any of them, either because we don’t have the data or because Pluto doesn’t cooperate,” says Nimmo. “For instance, you can detect an ocean by looking for its magnetic induction signature—but Pluto doesn’t have a magnetic field. Or you could look for an ocean by comparing the gravity and topography measured—but it would take an orbital spacecraft to do that.”

And even if there is an ocean, the potential gas buffer itself is even trickier to study. Since Sputnik Planitia is an area of excess mass, we could measure changes in the gravity field around it using an orbital instrument. And in principle, we might be able to image the gas through the ice shell if we had an extremely powerful radar system (something the future Europa Clipper mission will possess when it studies the Jovian moon). And we might even get a hint of the trapped clathrates in measuring the gas molecules zipping around Pluto’s atmosphere. But overall, proving there is a coating of clathrates sitting right underneath a 100-mile ice sheet located billions of miles away is far from straightforward.

But at least now scientists have a bit more direction in what they might want to focus on. Pluto’s hiding something in its insides, and a new era of deep space science is bound to find out what it is sooner or later.

Written By Neel V. Patel