#just adulting things ✨
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I have so many wips that are half-written and here comes another satan fic that just nudged itself to the top of the list and called the rest losers.
wrote the satan fic on my commute because the brain rot really got to me again 😭
#satangsramble#ok but this time I will make it short ok. (it’s at 1k word and im limiting myself 🫵)#I’ve been really wanting to finish the asmo and solomon fic also but I honestly haven’t gotten the time to sit and write#I’ll probably try to finish the solomon fic by this weekend since I alrdy have the outline and then the asmo fic by mid nov#just adulting things ✨#on a separate note I have a Halloween party tmr and I just half assed my costume (aka just some sailor dress and elf ears I pulled from the#back of my closet) -> I didn’t even remember I had them LOL#I was looking at my wardrobe being like 🤨🤨🤨#I was looking for my cosplay but I think I threw it away but whatever 😭 I just need to look like I tried and that’s enough#jshdjdmdnfj#okay bye I need to sleep rn…#WAIT and the 13 fic. I’ll try to finish it by Christmas (try.) NDIDJDJD#im a slow writer guys im sorry#and then I still have a dozen other ideas but those will take a long while…
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(not quite logging back in just venting dont mind me <3 ill reply to everyone later mwah)
#i guess the worst thing about allllllll the times my mother tells me im crazy is that i know she's right lol#like the instant overwhelming need to sh whenever she says it or in fact every time we fight should be enough to confirm it 🤡#like i legit wont calm down until i physically hurt myself preferably also drawing blood. this is not Sane Person Behaviour#anyway whatsapp just spent a few minutes crying curled up on the floor in the kitchen pulling my own hair trying to ✨Not SH✨#because its stupid idiot motherfucking summer and everyone will See#and ended up doing it regardless lol#and its so funny cause like literally the moment i do it im perfectly fine and mentally and emotionally stable again 🥰😇#anyway i love my mom she's great but she did ruin my entire life and me as a person too#and basically all my adult problems can be easily traced back to my psychological nightmare of a childhood#except i cant blame her for that either because she didnt have it easy and she raised me on her own (and unmedicated too)#while my dad didnt really even get many occasions to ruin me on a fundamental level (like he sure did use those few chances he had but yknow#not nearly as many as my mom got)#so i cant just blame my mom and let feminism lose like that#anyway. she should never have had children and i there's nothing i regret more than her husband dying instead of me#ok logging back off byeeeeeeeeee
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#still think abt the time an (adult) male relative told me (when i was 10) that I 'needed to lose weight or no man would ever find me sexy'#which IDK feels like a shitty thing to say to anyone but especially a girl who had yet to even reach puberty lmao#and who wasn't even That overweight at the time Nor had body image issues until that moment going forward lol#ironically... I ended up having some ED issues and gained a bunch of weight from then on#mainly bc i had some CSA trauma in my early childhood way before that conversation so I internalized the idea#that if I was fat no man would give me unwanted attention#however... this thought process (on top of other things) led me to believe for almost my entire life that no man would find me attractive#or like me or love me at ALL unless I either lose a bunch of weight and maybe not even then#which is kinda why I'm overall uninterested in men even if the attraction is technically there?#I lost interest in even male Friendships tbh bc i internalized this idea that no man would be interested in me even platonically 🤔#anyway. just something I'm working through in therapy but every once in a while I wonder why it's so hard for me to lose weight#and then I remember... ah yes.. '✨trauma✨' lol#funky's personal tag#delete later probs#anyway. I can't really talk about this stuff easily outside of therapy irl so I just be yelling into the void sorry guys :(
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grandmother said “i don’t want to buy her a lego set she’s going to be twenty years old”. so anyway i convinced everyone to help me get the lego set :]
happy twentieth me 🎉
#i love being an adult i can just tell people what i want . also i need to get a job and stuff but ssssshhhhhh#anyway :] started building it last night!!!! holy crap this bad boy’s got 25 bags#dragon ball bro is helping me#one and only :/ thing: i don’t like the legacy suits lmao. sorry zane#but!!! now i’ve got their redesign hairs#one day i’ll plunder bricklink and get the zx outfits and their old hair. one day#text✨#ninjago#bday was yesterday! TY ALL FOR THE WELL WISHES ILY
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I love the sims 2 because it will completely wreck your shit right when you’re least expecting it
#i’ll set the scene for you: i’m doing the prosperity challenge (basically a challenge where you create a number of completely randomised#families and you play them in rotation. rules vary but generally the goal is to make all your sims as successful as possible#and it’s meant to add some variety and drama to the game)#so i’ve played through the first four families which were all some variation of either grandparents or teenagers looking after kids#just because that’s how my rolls fell. so i got to the last house which was just one adult man and i was like okay.#i JUST need an heir out of him. just ONE. and things were going great! he already had a boyfriend (the random uncle of the first family#i played realllly liked him and i was like ‘this might as well happen’) so i had them try for baby. then his dream job (slacker lol)#came up in the newspaper on the FIRST DAY and he kept getting promoted! i also had him adopt a stray dog i thought was cute#his pregnancy went unbelievably well. he only passed out while eating one time. i allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security#and then mans ✨WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GAVE BIRTH TO QUADRUPLETS✨#look this is honestly on me for downloading the triplets and quads mod. i don’t even know why i do it. just for the risk factor?#regardless there was only a 3% chance for this and yet it STILL happened. on the first birth in the neighbourhood no less!!!!!#bear in mind this man is living in a 2 bedroom starter home; has one paycheque (GROCERY STORE CLERK) AND he’s just spent a bunch of money#on his new dog. and we can’t exactly sell the dog’s stuff because it’s essentials#i managed to find the money for 4 cribs and a nanny fucking Somehow. and then carnage ensued#i don’t think this man bathed for 3 days. i got the dog a job and then realised it got weekends off so wouldn’t be going#aging them all up into toddlers aged ME. i think they’re technically classified as some being a day older than the others but idc#i’ll rectify it at the next birthday. or at one of their birthdays anyway#it was just SO messy. next rotation should be better though??? i had him marry the kids’ other father (who is an elder so will probably be#around approximately 5 minutes) who bought in exactly £5 but at least there’s an extra person to change diapers and get bottles#i see a lot of nannies in these kids’ future i fear#personal
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大学も高校も日本語を勉強したけど、たいていの覚えることは砕けただよね😅 いつもホストファミリと一緒にこんな感じの日本語を使ったから。あの時はもう10年前も…子供だった 😰😰😰😰😰😰でも大人になったからあまり変わらないよ。それから最近もこんなの日本語をもう使う. tumblrで大丈夫と思う ; ネットで自分の英語も普通じゃないよねww
もう変だと思うけど… 変えることが難しいだ。生活はぜんぜん日本語がいないんだから。
テレビは練習じゃないことが知っているが、多分ドラマを見るがいいかなぁ。僕らの食卓から日本のドラマを見ない…
#最近25時赤坂でが面白そうだよね💜👀#つく食べも…#also!#in english bc phrasing this was hard enough:#i think its fairly normal for foreigners visiting to be spoken to informally more often / encouraged#to use informal language more than would be otherwise usual#especially for a teenager.#i dont really have experience talking as an adult. to other adults. in japanese. 😓😓#but…..#its not like. entirely insincere to my personality though. is the thing. to be cutesy and informal and strange#im like that in english too! lol. i just wish i had more control over choosing when to come off like that#anyway#＃5月7日、1時間たけがあるよ#やっぱり恥ずかしかったけど楽しかった✨#ありがとう😊#spyld japanese posting#rowan chatter
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you need to STOP IT with these ho/me/stu/ck aus. first psychonauts, now ninjago? STOP! BONKING YOU WITH A NEWSPAPER!
NOOOOO DON'T BONK ME!!! it won't stop me unfortunately, i love adding hs trolls to things 😌
anyway 💅 alternia as another realm within the 16 and maybe there was an invasion of ninjago at some point in the past, i'm still working out details. but the basic gist is a bunch of trolls immigrated to ninjago and honestly between the serpentine and munce and geckle and merlopians and the occasional skulkin and also the fucking. floating jaguars and boogie bears and everything else they fit right in tbh. they mostly keep to themselves but there is a bit of mingling between humans trolls and serpentine (up until the serpentine war at least), but trolls as elemental masters is next to unheard of given that trolls and humans can't really reproduce together that way.
except when wu goes to find all the holders of the elements of creation for the green ninja prophecy, well. Colton Bekkit and Nya are very obviously trolls, and wu knew that his brother had somehow managed to have a son with Tomeseek. what he wasn't expecting was for the masters of ice and lightning to have been raised by trolls, too. things are about to get chaotic (colton ends up crushing on the other three in three different quadrants pretty much. immediately. nya and kai had to raise each other and so nya's not really in touch with troll culture. things are only going to go off the rails from there)
#ask zaz#i'm. i'm not giving this an au tag#this is a THOUGHT EXPERIMENT only#but i will inflict it upon the#lego ninjago#tag!!!#cole's troll name being colton bekkit was just. yeah#considered colton bukkit/bucket but it just. didn't sound right???#like the fact that it was clearly bucket even if spelled weird made it sound not like a troll name#also. nya doesn't have the usual 12 letter wriggling name bc she never got a lusus#maya & ray had a lot of trouble with kai's birth but since they had two elements between them to pass on they didn't wanna let kai be#an only child. so tomeseek went into the caves and brought out a tyrian grub that would have never gotten a lusus and handed it to them#they didn't ask her to do this btw she just heard the problem and went ''oh i can help 😊🌸✨'' and then went and got that grub#prof julien's adult title is the Tinkerer btw#and ed & edna are sandgear and clipwire <333#and yes. lou and lilly still get to be lovers here. well. for as long as lilly lives anyhow#but yeah lou is also a troll!! his adult title is Soulsong (for now) and he's old enough to have grown up in alternia#despite havign arrived in ninjago decades ago!! he is colton's ancestor (same sign same blood)#colton's lusus is a bear btw. bearmom <3#she dies pre-canon not too long after lilly does and both deaths weigh heavily on colton#also colton got his earth powers bc lilly explicitly gave them to him. via tea ofc#maya did the same for nya when she and ray realized krux was after them (i'm still working on the details there)#and ofc the previous em of ice does that for zane in canon#i'm still debating on whether zane should look like a troll or human#i mean. since julien's a troll it should be obvious to make zane a troll right??? but also.... idk i just think it could be more interestin#if since the tinkerer knew zane would outlive him the tinkerer made zane look more human so that after his death zane could#find community and safety more easily than a lone troll in ninjago would be able to#and then i can have zane find old horns he used to have maybe if the human appearance was like. a later thing the tinkerer did#idk yet tho#ninjastuck
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every late november i am cursed with the knowledge that constantine hasn't done any sort of formal or informal holiday gathering since his sister died, and flat-out avoids people as soon as december starts so no one will invite him to anything bc he knows his seasonally bad mood will haunt whatever room he walks into. basically i'm saying this is your chance to ambush him while it's still november and harangue him into agreeing to attend your non-denominational ugly sweater parties or split a bottle of wine before he's cognizant enough to weasel out of it.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#seasonal depression but make it ✨trauma✨#he actually becomes the Worst Person around the winter holidays and yeah. part of it is because he's a cynical dick#but also christmas with his father fucking Sucked & reclaiming that time as an adult with cheryl was indescribably precious to him#when he lost her and his niece refused to have anything to do with him afterwards he just. gave up#constantine staring longingly into people's windows like the guy from it's a wonderful life: nah i don't do christmas. not my thing#but really he is just lonely and a loser and secretly kind of a champion gift-giver so let him in please#blanket warning that if you get him to observe hanukkah with you he Will weight the dreidel and take all your fucking gelt#he has also been known to fuck off to ireland last minute and wander around pagan festivals so u know. options are open#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.#yes i've been emo about him every time i've had the chance to log on today. what about it
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CHAT I MISS MY S^W YA0I
#I GOT REMINDED OF AN ASK I SENT BC OF GVNPLAY @DAVIDCRIES I MISS YOUUUUUUU#I don’t even know what happened to them but they disappeared off of the following of my old ns/ft blog and I can’t find them :(#(I know one letter was like an x or v instead I cannot remember for the life of me)#fuck it we ball im writing the ideas I remember here#str^hm and amanda au. obv#str^hm and amanda n<cro <3 this was one of my favorites bc it was toxic and major angst#l^wrence catching adam taking pictures of him (i dont remember what he did to him but it was silly and torturous ✨✨)#SIZE QUEEN H0FFMAN. THE CUTTING OFF A CERTAIN PART H0FFMAN ADJSDHDHDD#b0bby dagen s0unding with a stiletto <3 im not even into that i think my instincts against pathetic men (IAPM) just kicked in#l^wrence and his wife double d0mming adam. the way he literally would be happiest with two of the toughest d0ms i wrote#(they had a fantasy where alison punishes adam for him and l^wrence che^ting teehee. it had me wound up for days)#oagh there’s so many. I even know im missing a lot of them I was 24/7/365 hypersexual at that time ok#THE LOGAN/H0FFMAN STUFF. I STAND BY IT THEY FUCKED NASTY IN THAT WAREHOUSE. PROBSBLY LEFT MARKS AND STAINS NOBODY TALKS ABT TOO GRIMY MFS#OH. L^WRENCE MAKING FUN OF A SVBS STUTTER. I KNOW I WOULD CRY IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME (which is the point but whatever) BUT CMONNNNNNN#adam grinding on the end of l^wrence’s cane I think was either mine or just one of my favorites#l^wrence putting an escaped victim back into the trap to sit and watch them die <3#ST^LKER L^WRENCE 🥰🥰🥰 WHERE HE THREATENS YOUR FAMILY INTO CONVINCING YOU TO DATE HIM#amanda knifefvcking someone with the blade <3 again I stand by that#WAIT MY GVNPLAY THING WASNT EVEN GVNPLAY. WAILS I NEVER WROTE THEM WITH GVNPLAY??????????#ok whatever. last one is zepp thighfvcking someone at kn1fepoint <3#in conclusion. I am a normal person with normal fantasies who can be trusted with adult characters (as sirens go off in the background)
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parents will really be like "so did you choose to not check to see if i messaged you this morning or were you just willfully ignoring me?" to someone with untreated diagnosed ADHD who has repeatedly requested assistance in seeing a therapist again, and those parents will see no issue in also believing that if the ADHD person isn't getting medicated it must be a conscious decision on their part and not Can't Fucking Rember To Do Things Themself Syndrome
and then they'll go "why don't you talk to me anymore :("
#rosie rambles#anyway.#getting guilt-tripped sucks more and more the further into my 20s i get and i can hear anger mcgee jr slamming stuff elsewhere in the house#newsflash: ✨someone with Shit Memory Disorder forgetting to do something they have not explicitly been told to do yet that day#is not a choice made specifically to piss you off. it is a Symptom of Shit Memory Disorder.✨#should i start a fucking gofundme to get me a freaking adult tricycle or something#i just had someone snap at me that i chose not to help do Thing X#when in fact he angrily slammed it down in front of me. then left. then came back and started angrily doing Thing X.#this family is bad for my mental health 😫#delete later.#probably. fuck if i know#augh (negative)#anyway. Christmas is shaping up to be Real Great already.
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worlds behind the world
the stock market
taxes
gambling / lotteries / etc
health issues (esp chronic illness)
love / friendship / partnership / marriage / sex / etc. like relationships basically
fertility issues
abortion
death / grief
driving
academic disciplines
dreams
therapy
#purrs#this post is brought to you by: i got the permanent version of my job like officially / formally and now i have to choose a retirement plan#and i don’t know anything about any of that. and it’s making me mad bc idk how to ask questions about it or if it’s ok to and i feel very#stupid and clumsy and small and how can i possibly make this giant irreversible choice when ive only just begun building my adult life. and#everyone around me seems to have it figured out and i can’t ask about it because they’re unknowable things or unable to be understood and ar#articulated unless you experience them firsthand yourself. anyways im falling flat on my fucking face but lmk if there are other things to a#add to this list we can build it together 🥰✌️✨#ask to tag#delete later
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I’m so mad
The blackberries my mom got today already have mold on them.
Like why, how??
I mean there isn’t a lot of it but still!>:(
#wish rambles#anyways I’m gonna eat the whole thing of them and just take off the mold like an adult✨✨
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Save me skincare routine. Save me stupidly expensive skincare routine in tiny bottles
#so ya girl turned 28 three days ago and immediately had a midlife crisis#it didn’t even take very long. i opened my eyes at 6:55am on the 8th and immediately started freaking out#okay i want to clarify something. it’s not that i feel a need to perform a certain level of femininity. it’s not even that i care about#my appearance that much. it’s just that for the first time in my life i look older than i feel#and i feel really weird about it actually! that’s never happened for me before. all throughout my childhood i was told how mature and smart#i was; and i always felt like i knew it all. then something flipped when i got into my mid twenties#all of a sudden people started treating me like i knew stuff and was a functioning member of society. meanwhile i’m standing here#with like radio static in my head. i’ve been an adult for 10 years now and i still feel like i’m floundering#but i look at myself in the mirror and i see: dark circles. wrinkles. dry skin. greying hair. horribly chapped lips. matronly body#i mean some of this is just genetic; i’ve had dark circles since i was 15 and my dad went grey at 30#and none of this is actually Bad. (except for the chapped lips). and it’s not that i don’t want to age. i’ve never considered botox#or plastic surgery and i never will. i genuinely want to look my age. i just… i’m having a hard time because during my early to mid twenties#my skin always looked fantastic despite me doing NOTHING with it. i was literally washing it with cold water and then applying moisturiser#that was once a day at MOST. most of the time i didn’t even do this. and mind you my ‘moisturiser’ was a body lotion#i also used to exfoliate with st ives of all things like… can you believe#i’d always get asked for my skincare routine and i’d just be like ‘i just moisturise when it occurs to me 😌’#but now the reckoning has come and i’m 28 and look like i got hit by a bus. haaaaaa#it’s just like. it’s not that i want to look 10 years younger. that would be bizarre. i don’t even really want to get rid of my wrinkles#or all my blemishes. i just want to take better care of my skin so that it doesn’t get inflamed and dry and break out all the time#and water + actual fucking LOTION isn’t cutting it because ya girl is ✨28✨#so i’m going to try cleansing balm; hyaluronic acid; facial moisturiser & spf. i think that seems reasonable#(yes i never wear sunscreen either. feel free to shoot me with a firing squad)#i just hope it works and none of the products make me break out. and also i stick to it#i tried to pick out some gentle products. so let’s just hope for the best i guess. i mean there’s always room to switch things around#personal
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people can just go on the internet and be wrong. fucked up
#dove talks#saw another person unironically being like ‘lol it’s so cringe when people talk about dsmp like it’s a real story’ like#hey you don’t have to be smart but don’t make that our problem#it’s silly and it’s not traditionally told and it’s hard to follow but that doesn’t make it not a story that can’t be discussed#with the same language that we use for ‘✨real stories✨’#you’re just annoying and think you’re better than other people because you don’t like a thing lol#anyway. back to playing minecraft like an adult
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Had a good long think during my hour drive home today about how I've known these kiddos for Two Whole Days but I would already do anything for any one of them and I feel like it reads as a lil bit unhinged when it's written down but it's so true
ALSO... As a complete contrast to my previous MT, this MT tells her kids that she loves them. And THAT'S WHY WE GET ALONG BC WE'RE THE SAME KIND!!!!!
#one thing that i pride myself on is that i know all their names fluently two days in?#im so bad with names of adults... I've been introduced to SO many people in this building and remember two names#but these kids???? oh ik their names#bc they all have a THING#my hats have hooks dang it#just my ramblings#student teacher sadie ✨#i am THRIVING
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Swearing to the gods that if today is just another day waiting, i WILL start setting things on fire to satiate my gnawing anxiety
#✨ Tv Static ✨#been waiting for the support of two people for months and they are OBTUSE with their answers#never explaining the why or how just straight up only saying 2 things that don't really explain why we can't do this#like okay whatever but like.... why though. what are the dire consequences that you are being vague with.#its so annoying just say it!!! just outright say it!!! we're all adults here just fucking say it!!!!#like I'm already over the hit to my self esteem just say why you two don't want me up there already!!!#the ged is not that important if i can still get a job AND study for it UP THERE!!!#ugh...
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