#on his new dog. and we can’t exactly sell the dog’s stuff because it’s essentials

[fingertipsmp3]

I love the sims 2 because it will completely wreck your shit right when you’re least expecting it

[maren-as-an-adult]

The 2020 Experience, Part 4

December was...rough. Every free moment I had was spent looking for better paying jobs and more apartments. Christmas gifts were planned and purchased under extreme budget. I had an upcoming OB-GYN appointment. And the accumulated stress finally broke me physically and mentally.

I started noticing it when I had my OB-GYN appointment. My appointment wasn’t until 4:30pm, but I wanted to get some Christmas shopping done, so I took an early train into Atlantic Terminal to do some shopping in and around Barclay’s Center. I didn’t have breakfast before I left, so I grabbed a latte and a slice of iced lemon cake from Starbucks. There were some benches outside where I sat down and ate. Afterwards, I hit up Target and Marshall’s. Once I was in line for Marshall’s, I started feeling... off. I could feel my pulse rushing in my face, and my stomach felt simultaneously empty and twisted upside down. I couldn’t tell if I felt like I was going to vomit or poop, or if I was just really gassy and needed to fart. I made it through purchasing and left to sit down somewhere, anywhere. I think I settled down in front of either TJ Maxx or Burlington on the ground. I pulled my knees into my chest, waiting and hoping for this feeling to pass. After about 15 minutes and no change, I knew I needed to find a bathroom. And in COVID times, I had a better chance of finding a four-leaf clover growing out of the concrete than a public toilet I could access.

Target, however, was my savior. Having purchased from them earlier, I happily took advantage of their open and clean bathroom facilities. I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say I spent a long time on that toilet trying to feel better. Eventually I had to move on, and I decided I would go outside and get as much fresh air as I could, hoping that would somehow cure me of this... whatever feeling it was. It helped, or at least that’s what I told myself as I slowly sipped water from my water bottle. I tried to make one last stop at one last shop before heading down to Bay Ridge for my OB-GYN appointment, but after two instances where I was forced to sit down again and wait for the feeling to pass to something barely more manageable, I decided the best course of action would be to arrive exceptionally early to my appointment and hope they had an unoccupied bathroom I could access.

Thankfully, they did. I somehow managed a thirty minute train ride, a ten minute wait for the bus, a ten minute bus ride, and a ten minute walk to the doctor’s office, where after filling out a few forms I retreated to their very clean single occupancy bathroom. I felt awful and wanted something done about it, so I open mouth breathed while kneeling in front of the toilet bowl for a while. It’s a technique I use when I feel like I may throw up and want to encourage my stomach to expel whatever’s clearly upsetting it. [I also wish to take this moment to make this very clear: I am not, nor have I ever been, bulimic. I don’t endorse or condone bulimia. I’m sure it’s very easy to read what I just wrote as inducing vomiting to purposefully purge, but it is not. I was not trying to make myself vomit, but I was prepared for that to happen should my body have decided that’s what it needed to do.] What ended up happening was about five minutes of dry heaving before my body apparently decided that because there was nothing there, that nothing was wrong anymore.

What was wrong with me? I hadn’t interacted with anyone who was sick, had I? I had recently started babysitting, could I have gotten something from one of the kids? Was I not as diligent as I thought I’d been with maintaining social distance and wearing a mask and sanitizing and washing my hands? Or was it something else? All I’d had to eat that day was some processed cake and a sugary latte, could I possibly have developed celiac disease overnight? Was my body finally shutting down it’s lactose-digesting functions? Was I just really overcaffeinated because I forgot to specify “half-caf” in my Starbucks order?

I posited these queries to my doctor while she poked around my vagina. She said it was possible I could be lactose intolerant or I could be crashing from the caffeine. When the staff had taken my temperature I wasn’t running a fever, so it wasn’t likely I’d caught anything off of someone. With a final fingering to gauge the position of my uterus (I learned it has a slight anterior tilt), my appointment was done and I was free to go home. Though I felt better, I decided against calling on my old roommates and to instead just head back to Graham’s. I made one last gift purchase before hopping on the LIRR, and my Christmas shopping was essentially done.

The feeling didn’t disappear though, and on some days it became unmanageable. My GI system was clearly in distress, and not a lot was helping. I found a few packs of ginger turmeric tea at Graham’s house and made myself a cup, firmly placing my faith in the healing properties of what some (uncultured) people call “hot leaf juice”. I think it helped, but I can’t be sure. I’d told Graham about what was going on and what I thought it could be, and he could sympathize and to a degree empathize. It wasn’t until one night when I was again dry heaving into a toilet bowl that Graham fully saw what an awful state I was in. I told him at this point I thought it was a manifestation of the stress we’d been under for the past eight weeks. For eight weeks we’d been searching for apartments, passing on nice ones just out of our budget, trying to come to terms with the infinite number of mediocre same-floor plan, same-color, same-appliances, same-building looking ones, and getting discouraged with the shitty, falling apart ones. I had spent my first Thanksgiving away from my family and had resigned myself to spending Christmas apart from my family for the first time as well. I’d had three separate COVID tests in the past two months. I hadn’t spoken to my therapist since before Thanksgiving. And I had spent the entire month at Graham’s family’s house, which was not something I had wanted.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. Truly, I’m indebted to Graham’s mom for letting me not only stay with them rent-free (but agreeing to walk their dogs) but also keep my stuff there while she is also getting ready to move out. But I have never felt comfortable calling someone else’s place my home. I cannot help but feel like an outsider, and no matter how many times people tell me to “make [myself] comfortable” and “help [myself] to whatever food there is” I will feel like an imposition and a burden. It’s only my anxiety coming through, but it comes through LOUD.

I finally scheduled an appointment with my therapist again, and poured all this out to him. I told him exactly how bad things had gotten, and not for the first time I considered asking to be prescribed anti-anxiety medication and possibly antidepressants. I decided to keep going without them...for now.

Christmas Eve came and Graham, his family, and I all celebrated together. We were gifted some lovely items to start our life living together, like a knife set, a set of glasses, new bedding, and a casserole dish. It was a lovely respite from the stress.

On Christmas Day, Graham and I went to see another apartment. This apartment was in the same building as the apartment we almost signed for, and the only differences were that this apartment was on a lower floor and didn’t have a balcony. It was also almost $100/month less than what we had almost agreed to. The owner said he would send over the application and answers to our questions on Monday. We both felt good about this apartment.

When Monday came with no e-mail from the guy, I reached out to him to ask when we could expect it. His response was that he had just been diagnosed with COVID-19 and now wanted to sell instead of rent. This became all too much for me, and when I got back into Graham’s car as we were out running errands, I started screaming. I hadn’t screamed like this since a particularly bad day of work I had back when I worked at Target. It was cathartic, but I felt cold and disconnected from Graham for the rest of the day. Something had broken inside me, and I wasn’t sure if it was my heart, my soul, my mind, or all three. It took a while for me to recover, and honestly I’m still hurt and feel betrayed by this guy. I understand I cannot speak for what’s best for him or what he felt he should have done, but Graham and I felt that we were given the runaround by this guy. We scheduled another COVID test for ourselves, and tried to move forward.

We made it to New Year’s Eve, and stayed up to watch 2020 end. New Year’s felt somber this year, and it felt hard to celebrate the start of a new year when the one we just went through was so damaging.

But we made it. We’re here, and it’s the first week of January in 2021. Currently there are radical conservatives storming the Capitol protesting the electoral college results, but in less than 20 days, Trump will be out of office. I’ve given myself goals that are manageable for the new year, and Graham and I have three applications out for three different apartments, and there’s a chance we may be able to get the apartment we saw on Christmas Day. We keep moving forward, because the alternative is to not move at all.

And I refuse to allow that for myself.

[mkmalarkeyru]

Michael’s interview for “Distortion” magazine (2020)

You can read a Russian version here.

Оригинал интервью опубликован здесь.

Michael Malarkey is a musician and an actor. He is known to most people from the series "The Vampire Diaries" and "Project Blue Book". However, music is a fundamental part for Michael. This is the thing that helped him find a sense of freedom and that keeps fueling it.

Early in the year Michael Malarkey released a "Graveracer" solo album and also toured to support this record. We talked to Michael about the album recording, his musical preferences, his failures and rivalry in punk rock.

How do you like Kiev?

It's excellent. I had a great time here. This is a marvelous city. I liked its architecture. This is one of the things that I appreciate the most.

I hope that it inspired you. You've been on this tour since the beginning of 2020. What is the most difficult thing for you about a long tour?

Keeping myself healthy. I try to eat right on tour, of course, but still it's interesting to try the local cuisine. And to be frank, I eat junk food on the road, and there's no time for working out. So keeping fit is the hardest part. But it's not a big deal; I'll put myself together later.

Do you change the set list from city to city on your tours?

The Kiev gig is the only one where the set list is different. So a very special evening will be taking place today. It will be completely a solo performance. We played as a whole before that on the tour, today I will be alone and will be performing a lot of old stuff. So it'll be exclusive.

Why did you choose Kiev for this?

It's far enough away. If you travel with the whole band and all equipment, it'll turn out to be expensive. So we thought, "Why not put on a solo performance?" Although I'm worried, there will be only a microphone, a guitar and me on stage.

The show will be more intimate, won't it?

Exactly. In fact, I'm nervous about this. It's been a long time since I performed the last solo show.

There is a remarkable audience in Kiev. I'm sure you'll be welcomed. This tour is for supporting your new album. Do you think the fans enjoyed it?

Who knows? It doesn't matter, but in a good way. That is, I just recorded this album, just released it and I'm happy that the work on the record is done. I just want to share it with the world. I don't think about it, but it seems that the feedback will be great. At least this is what I can judge of by my performances. I'm not worried about that. I live for today and want to share every moment.

You're happy that the work on your album is done and there's a product to share. But how was the recording process?

We recorded this album in eight days in Sheffield, United Kingdom. All demos were finished about a year before recording. But I was busy filming, and my son was born — now I have two children, I can't believe. So I had a chance to go to the studio only a year later. In general, I decided to write fewer songs on the guitar. I wrote at least half of this album on keyboard, I used bass and drums. I used these instruments for the first time to record demos and it was fascinating. The whole process was very gentle and easy. My goal was to make the record as good as possible. The writing process took much time, but it was interesting. I tried to do it differently. My favourite part of making music is writing it. I like to create something out of nothing: to hear sounds, to perceive and to record them. I love performing, I enjoy tours. It doesn't matter how my music is felt. I just have a good time.

Did anyone help you make this record? Maybe a family member?

No, there were just me and my thoughts. I write by myself on tour, on travel.

How important is the arrangement to you? Is it essential to recreate the same sound on stage as on the recording?

This is important, but obviously it won't sound the same. Alex plays the cello and sings backing vocals on the tour with me. She also took part in the recording of most of the albums. A cello, a guitar, plus double vocals — this works really well. Sometimes we don't perform exactly the same way as on the record, we have special versions of songs. But it was important for me to do everything as on the record with a few exceptions for this tour. In fact, it's difficult, although it looks easy.

The simpler it looks, the harder it is. You survived two hurricanes when being on the process of "Graveracer" writing. Is it true?

Yes, but I left the island before the hurricane started. If this is considered to be a survival, than yes, I survived the hurricane. But there are people who have actually got through it and keep facing the consequences. That’s why I don’t want to call it "survived". But when I realized the possibility of staying on the island and of getting through this whole situation... You start to think about your life and what is important. I wrote a lot of music at that time. Sometimes I locked myself in a room for three days and was working. This became a bit of help to the record creation. This was a dark but wonderful time. I was very inspired by people, nature and frogs. Frogs are cool.

Has this fact affected you, your view of the world and the way how we behave with nature?

My view of the world is always changing. I'm always trying to see and to hear something. I'm trying to challenge my notions. I'm open to other views of the world. I'm an empathetic person. When you work on music, you put all your feelings into your songs. You always learn something new about yourself. And it's thrilling. Sometimes I listen to the songs that I wrote many years ago, and I see a reflection of what is happening to me now. This is strange how it works. I don't know; we have a lot of inner wisdom, so we can help ourselves and our future.

I hope not only ourselves, but...

It's about other people as well. You do this because you want to share it. Writing for yourself is good, but sharing your experience is important.

You mentioned that the new record gave you a sense of freedom. What does it mean to be free to you?

Freedom? This is a state of mind. It's in your head. I won't talk about all these political things, including ones in your country — this is different. I realized that the less I cared about what people thought, the freer I was. I'm not competing with anyone but myself. I'm in fierce competition with myself indeed. And I'm amusing myself by the fact that I think I'm releasing the best stuff. I keep growing and I'm curious about how my next album will look like.

Are you competing with yourself from the future or with yourself from the past?

I'm competing with myself from present. If something doesn’t work well enough, then I just do it over and over. And if I'm not satisfied with something, then I'm not upset and just try to figure out how to do it better next time. To my mind, failure is the most important part of art and life. Don't let it defeat you! I was very upset about some failures before. I was rejected all the time during auditions, but still participated in others. You just need to accept it. If you can handle rejection and failure, then you're free.

It makes you a little better.

It makes you more honest and sincere. The key to success isn't about trying to do something that people will like. Everyone understands that you want to sell your brand. There are people among actors, musicians and people in every field who care only about their brand. I also became a brand and I hate this part of myself. I don't want to go and to sell what I create. I just want to do my job. You have to go your own way because we're talking about an exchange. My struggle is about being able to pay tribute to my own artistic integrity and about being open enough to share it.

Are any songs special to you?

Every song of mine is special, this is my rule. People often ask me about my favourite songs. I don't have any. There are a few songs that I like for different reasons. But it's like asking who your favourite child is. Or what your favourite animal is if you have pets. I like my snake because it's my snake. I have no specific favorites. Everything changes. Usually the last song I wrote becomes my favourite. The reason is I've just finished working on it and I'm still impressed by this.

What about your family? Maybe they have their favorites, don't they?

I don't know. I don't ask them. If the song is good enough for me, I don't need to ask anyone about it.

Maybe there are some songs that influenced or inspired you, right?

I worked in a record store before becoming an actor. It was before streaming. I was constantly discovering a lot of new music in the store. It's hard for me to name the songs that influenced me, because there are many of them. It was punk rock in the beginning. Rancid — Tim Armstrong and Lars Frederiksen — inspired me a lot. It allowed me to get out of my shell, to feel free. I was very shy at that time, I hardly spoke to anyone. I think that punk rock helped me get out of that. I started playing guitar because of it. While growing up, I played in punk-hardcore bands. So the first thing that influenced me was punk rock, and punk rock was a push for creating my own music. Then I discovered Tom Waits' "Rain Dogs" ­— it was mind-blowing. I realized that music can be any one. I discovered more avant-garde things like The Bardogs, John Zorn, Converge. I opened up to something new. For example, Balthazar is a band that inspires me now. They are from Belgium. I also do like what they do on their Warhaus side project.

Maybe you have some recommendations for people who want to get out of their shells, but they are embarrassed to do that, don't you?

Music. Just listen to music. Travel, take risks, challenge yourselves. You have to risk everything. You have to allow yourself to get angry about things you don't like and to express your anger. I needed to express my anger and I discovered punk rock. People were transforming their anger into something productive, positive. I found joy in punk rock when I was a kid. I found something that I haven't experienced before. It was cool. This is why I do that.

When looking back, we can see that you were moving from one music style to another. Why?

There are several reasons. Firstly, when I was in a hardcore band, I listened to hardcore, punk, metal and all this stuff mainly. Then I found Tom Waits and started listening to more... Nick Cave, all Dylan, classic. I just started to get more interested in this kind of storytelling. My interests have changed a bit. In addition, I was learning to play acoustic guitar. I lived in an apartment where I couldn't make noise. The stuff I wrote was calmer. I wrote these songs for acoustic guitar and "muted" them a little. This is ironic, but now I'm listening to heavier music again. I like it. I join such gigs. Gatecreeper was the last band whose gig I attended, they play death metal. Who knows, maybe my music will be heavier again.

Should we expect something of punk or of hardcore from you?

No, but you never know... It could be something a little heavier. But I'm not working on anything like that right now. Although I'd like to do something like this again. Something like Neurosis' music. A great and strong sound.

Was there a moment when you became disappointed by music?

Oh yeah! I've been through a moment where I was really down in the dumps by who's on the covers of the "Rolling Stones" and "Spin" magazines. I was like, “What is this? What the hell is this?" All these squeaky guys were like "Ye-e-e-e-e-ah." I wanted to hear more baritone. I have a deep voice. Johnny Cash has always been one of my heroes. But then I thought, "Make the music that you want to make. Create it and show it to the world." The frustration was over when I started doing this. And now I believe that everyone can do what they want. I think Ariana Grande's latest record is just great. This is a good pop music. Maybe I'll do a pop album next. Something of pop & metal like Poppy. She's weird, she's like Die Antwoord. There are elements of metal in her music, but it's still pop music. I'm not disappointed with what is happening in this industry right now. But I want to stay independent. I do it my own way. I'm not trying to take over the world, to gather stadiums. I want to make such shows in cool places with nice people. This is why I make music.

And the last question for you: how would you describe your attitude to the music?

Music is everything to me. Music is the way how I treat this world. I'm obsessed with listening to music, with making it. This is a part of me. It's hard to explain, like, for example, when someone asks you to tell about yourself. What I love about music is that it can be spread all over the world. It's a universal language. There are problems in the world. The world will always have problems. But you start dancing and forget about it. Whatever you believe in, just join performances and have a good time.

[dcnativegal]

What a weird era we are in

Sadly, I think Sarah Silverman is on to something.

On May 27th, the death toll from covid-19 hit 100,000 Americans:

Planet Earth has 6 million cases as of May 30th.

Seven million on June 7th  

June 15th, we are at 2 million cases USA and 8 million on the planet (by the end of the day)

On May 26th, it was announced that Lake County had its first case. A person who was tested (because we are now testing prior to surgery or procedures like colonoscopies) came up with a positive result, apparently a great surprise to that person, and puncturing the purity of zero-case-Lake-County. I hear that a person who lives with that person has symptoms, so, 2 cases. It begins. Not sure what exactly, but we are now in the First Case and Beyond era of Lake County Covid-19. As of today, there are 6 cases, and the saw mill was shut down because of a positive test result. Remember we have 4 ventilators, a nursing home, and a prison, all in our county. Thank goodness there is no meat packing plant.

In news from our household, Miss Valerie, in the wee hours after Memorial Day holiday, managed to move her legs out of the bed to go potty, and put weight on her left leg very wrong. She’s been using a walker ever since: the xray read “sprain.”  Which didn’t slow her down any. Nevertheless, we decided that first day of hobbling that it’s time to move the bedroom from the loft to the first floor; no use tempting fate. Her amazing family, including sister Karen and granddaughter Jessica, moved the bed and dressers, and piled up my yarn, while I was at work. I’ve spent the last two weekends sorting and rearranging my precious stash, and taking pictures of yarn I have too much of, to the delight of my Outback Knitters & Crocheters group. I sell top quality stuff for half price. Noro, Malabrigo, Rowan. I have plenty left. I’m knitting or crocheting on about a dozen projects at once. I may be a yarn hoarder, but I’m also prolific.

While we were dealing with Valerie’s knee, yet another black man was killed by police, this time in Minneapolis. He was apparently inebriated, passed an obviously fake 20 dollar bill to buy cigarettes, and was so drunk he didn’t know which way was up. He resisted arrest, because he was claustrophobic about being put in the back of the police car. He was handcuffed behind his back, and still, he was subdued by a white law enforcement officer named, irony alert, Officer Chauvin, who’s knee stayed on his neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds until he was dead. “I can’t breathe” has been cried out by several dead black men in recent years.

Another hysterical white woman called the police on a black man who was ‘birding’ in Central Park. Watching her on the video, I’m thinking she’s on the Autism Spectrum. In any case, she freaked out when he told her she should put her dog on a leash in that part of the park which is clearly marked for leashed dogs, and she freaked, and he filmed it, knowing the video would protect him. The police came and looked at her funny and didn’t charge anyone with anything. She lost her job and her dog the next day.

The Fact Checker journalism organization has counted 19,127 false claims made by the president. The # 1 lie is that our economy is the best in all of human history:

Covid-19 has revealed that essential working-class jobs don’t have benefits like sick leave, health insurance, or bosses who care more about their workers safety than their stockholder’s dividends. Home health aides and delivery people are essential, and suffer the most in the ‘gig economy’. Spain, Italy, and Sweden all have had a bad time with the coronavirus, but they have safety nets.

Humans swarmed the beaches over Memorial Day weekend. Lake County has six infected patients. Even Sean Hannitty of Fox News said in reaction, at least wear masks!

Covidiots. We are a long way from this:

Since George Floyd was suffocated to death, there have been protests all over the world. His body is being buried in his hometown of Houston on June 8th. A tiny group of Lake County residents will walk peacefully from St. Luke’s to the County Courthouse, and we’ll kneel in silence for almost 9 long minutes.

This was what we posted:

New York Times journalists Wesley Morris wrote:

“The most urgent filmmaking anybody’s doing in this country right now is by black people with camera phones. Their work comprises a ghastly visual mosaic of mistreatment, at best, and whose victims are international symbols of mourning: Eric Garner, Philando Castile, Sandra Bland. Art is not the intent. These videos are the stone truth. Quaking proof of insult, seasick funerals. Livestreamed or uploaded, or suppressed then suspiciously unearthed as found footage. Last week, the archive grew by two, and now the nation’s roiling.”

In my hometown of DC, Trump had prison police tear gas peaceful protestors in Lafayette Square so that he could strut in front of St. John’s Episcopal holding a bible upside down. Bishop Curry and Bishop Budde had fits. Mayor Muriel Bowser painted part of sixteenth street with street-width yellow letters: BLACK LIVES MATTER.

I’m glad Clara hasn’t been down there.

Trump’s polls are plummeting. Here’s what it feels like as he reacts like a tyrant, or a toddler having a tantrum:

On Wednesday, I’ll gather with the ‘social distancing knitters’ on the side of the church, because it is shady and green.

This past Sunday, one of my all-time favorite hymns was sung and I keep replaying the youtube video. And watching the sign language interpreter. It starts at minute 18:30:

https://youtu.be/4En0PK795PM?t=1109

How can the writer of those lyrics have such profound faith, such that “No storm can shake my inmost calm while to that Rock I’m clinging, since Christ is lord of heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing?”

I feel so sad. Tears just under the surface. My neuroses have a long-established sturdiness, as does my firmly rooted anxiety disorder.  Combined with the horror of 100,000 American deaths, the horror of a president who is deeply cruel and only good at manipulating his followers as he promotes himself.

I’d like to find an echo in my soul. I find peace in my yarn, and in this loft-home that Valerie and her sons made. And with Valerie, who cheerfully hobbles about, planning her garden and ‘fretting not.’  I pray for our nation, for Valerie’s knee, the well being of my family. I worry about the fires starting at the edge of Tucson where my childrens’ father lives, and the fires that are predicted around here. I knit. I worship. I sing.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 113

Now that Emperor Pilaf’s crew is out of the way, King Piccolo can finally get down to business, which is conquering the world.  

Piano tries to brief Piccolo on the current geopolitical situation, but Piccolo just zaps his whole Powerpoint presentation.     I really like Piano as a character, and I’m not entirely sure why, other than that he sort of reminds me of some of Jabba the Hutt’s entourage in Return of the Jedi.    Functionally, he’s probably like Bib Fortuna, but he talks like C-3PO, and he sort of feels like a team mascot, like Salacious Crumb. 

Also, the dynamic between Piano and Piccolo is kind of interesting.    Piano speaks much more candidly to Piccolo than anyone else, indicating that he’s a close and trusted advisor.   Presumably, Piccolo created him just like Tambourine and Cymbal, which means that Piano is exactly what Piccolo wanted him to be.    And yet Piano doesn’t seem to quite fit Piccolo’s plans.   He tries to act like he’s counseling a real king, but Piccolo’s military and domestic policies essentially boil down to “Break Stuff”.   

I think this points to King Piccolo’s defining character trait.  He’s a horrible, merciless villain, sure, but I think what sets him apart from the others is that he’s a bitter outsider who wants to punish everyone on the inside.   That’s why he wants to topple the legitimate king and usurp his throne.   The Red Ribbon Army was content to establish their own power base someplace else, but Piccolo wants the recognition.   He wants people to know that he’s part of their society--the top part-- whether they like it or not.   

So with that ambition comes this attitude that he has to make himself look and feel like a real king.    That’s why he surrounds himself with advisors like Piano, that’s why he sits on a throne, and that’s why he wants to move into King Castle.   I don’t think any of these things actually helps him accomplish his goals, but when your goal is basically “Break Stuff”, I guess it doesn’t matter.   King Piccolo doesn’t isn’t really interested in the final outcome of his reign, just so long as he gets to have authority that he can abuse.

As the pair cruise into the city surrounding King Castle.... You know, I’m just gonna go back to calling it “King’s Castle”.   Funimation added the possessive, and I’m starting to see why.   It just sounds better that way.

Anyway, it’s the 20th anniversary of King Furry’s reign, so there’s a big celebration with fireworks and a parade and so on. 

A lot of this episode is designed to set up King Furry as a counterpoint to Piccolo.    He’s everything Piccolo isn’t: modest, peace-loving, a dedicated public servant.

The catch is that King Furry’s record sort of contradicts a lot of the lawlessness we’ve seen in Dragon Ball leading up to his introduction.   Characters like the Ox King, the Red Ribbon Army, and Mercenary Tao seem to be able to do whatever they please.  I’ve always interpreted this to man that KIng Furry may officially rule the entire world, but he has a hard time enforcing his policies in the periphery of his kingdom.  

To be sure, I don’t expect King Furry to be perfect.   It’s likely that the world was a lot worse off before he assumed power, and the peace and prosperity his subjects are celebrating is a relative thing.    I just find it odd that the Red Ribbon Army was a Big Problem just three years ago, and everyone in this episode is acting like that never happened.

Meanwhile, in the Land of Korin, Goku’s planning to seek help from Korin at the top of Korin Tower.   But he’s all beat up, so Bora suggests that he rest for a few days before making the climb.  But Goku can’t wait, so he says Yajirobe will take him up.    Yajirobe refuses, until Goku tells him that there’s Senzu at the top of the tower, and it’s “Wizard Food”.

This leads Yajirobe to imagine a cereal mascot making giant food items appear out of thin air.   See, this right here is what all those Harry Potter movies should have looked like.   How hot would that be?   Dumbledore fights Voldemort, and they just keep trying to crush each other under giant pizzas and hot dogs.

Bora offers to help the boys out by doing a Fastball Special.   Only it’s even cooler than a Fastball Special because he’s gonna throw two people straight up.

I can’t believe Dragon Ball topped Harry Potter AND the X-Men in this one episode.   Well, actually, I can totally believe it.   This show rules.   Yajirobe grabs Goku’s butt, and Bora grabs Yajirobe’s butt, and we’re off to the races.

Of course, the animators sneak in plenty of upskirt shots of Yajirobe.   Wotta buncha perverts.

Once they’re as high as they can get, Yajirobe starts climbin’, crying out ORAORAORA as he goes.   Wow, a JoJo reference too.   This episode has everything.

Back at King’s Castle... uh... City?   Kingscastletown?  Castle City?   I think I’m gonna start calling it that.

Why are all these soldiers wearing pink?   I mean, they look all right, but they have a real ice cream truck vibe to them.     This makes me wonder if ice cream trucks in this town are Hum-vees driven by army guys in pixelated cookie-dough camo.    That’d be pretty badass.

So Piccolo’s ready to start invadin’.   First thing he does is T-Pose for dominance, and then he drops right on down on King’s Castle.

This guy at the gate tells him he can’t go in, and he has a gun, so Piccolo gives up and leaves.   And that’s the end of the story!   Kind of anticlimactic, but it’s a pretty daring way to wrap up a saga like this.   I think the moral here is--

Just kidding, Piccolo stone cold murders all the guards and just wanders through the castle at will.   Also, Piano finds a bag of chips next to some guy’s corpse and just picks it up like a crow.   This show is amazing.

Meanwhile, Master Roshi and Chiaotzu are still dead.

I feel like Tien’s sort of wasting time here.  I guess the last couple of episodes have taken place in roughly real-time, so it’s been maybe about twenty minutes since Piccolo made his wish?   That’s kind of nuts when you think about it.   But it feels like TIen’s been standing around all week.

The rest of Dragon Team finally arrives, and thank goodness Yamcha’s changed out of his blue tank top and short-shorts.   That outfit looked terrible on him.   Launch, of course, is still wearing her cool outfit from the Tien Saga, because you don’t want to mess with perfection.

So, just to be clear, Master Roshi is dead....

And Chiatozu is dead. 

Yamcha tells Tien that they need to team up to beat Piccolo.  Okay, time out, fantasy booking time.   What if they really did team up, and somehow they found out about the fusion dance, and King Piccolo met his match in... Tiencha!?

Like, TIencha would just instantly master the Mafuba, because he has Tien’s firsthand knowledge of the technique, combined with Yamcha’s ability to improvise moves like the Kamehameha and Spirit Ball.    But he’d be like, no.   No, this King Piccolo dude needs to pay.    So he’d wear him down with some Dodohamehas, and then polish him off with the Wolf Fang Volleyball Fist.    Then he’d cross his arms and shout “The Power of Tiencha!”

Then Tiencha would be made the new king.   Yamcha and Tien would rule jointly, but they’d use the fusion dance before making any important decisions. 

But no, we can’t do anything super mega awesome like that.  Instead, Tien wants to go off by himself and master the Mafuba on his own.   Yamcha offers to learn it with him...

But Tien tells him it would be impossible for Yamcha, since he’s never seen the move performed.  Well neither did Mutaito when he invented it, and so far he’s the only one who ever executed it successfully.

So Tien flies off on his own, leaving Launch to get all a-flutter over his stoic heroism.  Look, I get what they’re going for here.   This is Tien’s redemption arc, and Yamcha would just be in the way.   But this is a really dumb play.   Basically, Tien’s setting himself up to make the same mistake Master Roshi made.   Even if Yamcha doesn’t stand a chance of learning the Mafuba, he could still help in other ways, and if nothing else, he could be there when Tien tries it, and then if things don’t work out, he’ll finally have firsthand knowledge of the technique, so he can learn it himself.

Back at the parade, King Furry receives flowers from little girls from different parts of the world.   One of them is Suno from the Red Ribbon Army Saga.   I think this is the first time her hometown is called “Jingle Village”, and I really wish they had used that name back when I needed it.

Unfortunately, Piccolo blows up a bunch of heavy artillery at the castle, and the explosions finally disrupt the celebration, spoiling Suno’s big moment.

In hindsight, it probably would have been better to call off the rest of the celebration, but this guy in white only got word that a lone intruder was a the castle, and he thought tanks would be enough to stop him, so he decided not to interrupt the ceremony.   It was the wrong call, but I can’t blame the guy, since none of them had any idea what they were dealing with.   Now that he does know, he suggests King Furry leave the area immediately.

Furry really doesn’t want to do that, although he’s wise enough to know that his security chief is right.   Piccolo came her to get Furry, so if he can escape the city, there’s at least a chance Piccolo will follow him instead of hurting anyone else.

Meanwhile this huge dude tries to buy them some time.   From the dialogue, I get the impression that he’s the guy on the security detail they call when conventional weapons don’t work.    So at least King Furry’s staff recognizes that there are fighters in the world strong enough to resist tanks and guns.    It sort of makes me wonder why anyone still bothers with tanks and guns, though.   

Piccolo offers the guy a job, but he’s not interested.   It says a lot about King Furry that these guys are willing to lay down their lives for him, even against a foe this powerful.   This whole part of the saga feels like an inversion of Goku’s assault on Red Ribbon Headquarters, only now it’s a villain no-selling a bunch of good guys with guns.   But unlike the Red Ribbon soldiers, these guys are motivated by honor and loyalty, rather than denial and fear.  

To be sure, a couple of other guards see Piccolo kill this dude and they run away, but at this point, I’d say it’s the smart call.   There’s nothing left to defend here but an empty castle, and they’re way out of their league.    All they’d accomplish by staying is to die.

Unfortunately, Piano spots King Furry making his escape.

And it doesn’t take long for Piccolo to catch him.

Elsewhere, a kid asks his mom if there’s anyone who can stop Piccolo.

Suno knows someone.   

Yeah, Goku’s gonna come back and tear Piccolo apart.   You just wait and see.  

He just needs a little time to get his shit together.   Hang in there, world.

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x02 watching notes

i'm on a train. choo choo.

expectations: helpfully wrote them out last time for the season as a whole which this ep is introducing all the plot stuff for since last episode advanced the plot a single day of angst, but this episode especially has a few SUPER low bars to pass. Last time out BL failed spectacularly to not kill Eileen. now we have "don't assault mary, over-sexualise the day old guy, or flub introing the new characters, or reintroducing the returning ones"

-

our train was like 10 minutes late out the station because there was no driver. is this a metaphor.

-

i also had to eat krispy kreme doughnuts before I could dig into the episode.

-

oh jeeze Drexel survived season 12... no one really has a fanclub for the random minions, probably because around Simmons we realised there was no point getting attached. and he was in some of the worst scenes of last season just because of the context. which is a shame. also he's a lucifer fan and that's not really a worthwhile position. anyway hope springs eternal that colonel sanders is such a charismatic character he makes the demon scenes worth watching... and Drexel gets to be interesting. And stop saying lines like 'make hell great again' which is so not a good thing to put in his mouth - at least the other demons who were going around saying it it was the white demon who said it and got the stink eye from the other demon.

One of the other demons says "can you even hear yourself" but idk if BL would crit their own writing unlike competent writers whose first port of call is stressing that they are bad writers and mock their corny dialogue

-

this also raises the semi perpetual question since season 11 that if Crowley's throne room is here why would any of the pretenders to the throne even want it. they seriously need to justify it. We know devil's gates are a pain and not usually open so smuggling minions out to work topside is an issue but there are other workarounds than establishing a campy hell set that's not even in hell, then getting confused about if it's hell or not, and never really explaining why Lucifer would stick around in it except for the fact Crowley is really good at setting up a system and it would be a shame not to use the pre-established set up.

but eh

I really sincerely hope Asmodeus is just here because Crowley's ex-minions are here and will relocate post-haste to his plantation.

-

He hung up his coat. Drexel survived though. I guess being a named character has its perks. the sun shone in my eyes the entire time so i was quite amused when the train turned a bit and i saw demons dropping with burned out eyes, angel-style. like Dagon being super duper powerful, I guess they're giving him extra powers - because this is just a few steps up from how Sam was exploding demons with his head at one point and he got his powers from a YED... though in 5x10 when Lucifer killed all those demons he also didn't burn the eyes out. it's probs a stylistic choice. in character and out.

-

Nougat!!! he's so cute. he's sleeping at an angle to be behind Sam in the convo. The camera points at Sam from the dash and at Dean from Sam's POV, and Jack is in his background. methinks this is about Sam.

He's trying to make Dean sleep and calling out how he hasn't had any, which is nice because I was worried about that earlier.

Dean is calling Jack "it" which I think was in some people's pre-season fic, or else if it weren't it was in the one i didn't write :P Blatant convo is blatant but does at least have an actual honest to god lead into the next scene via the mom is dead conversation. Again we get the super zoom close up on sam being sad and questioning dean's thoughts. assert yourself, sammy! i believe in u

-

(totally on your side too Dean but the sun is too bright to examine your micro expressions and the camera isn't favouring you anywho so you're a rewatch flavour today)

-

Satan wants to trade Mary for Jack. Well if Dean knew he'd sell Jack for a corn chip anyway (is that Crowley's phrase from the original weird dog episode?) so that's just a great big victory. methinks the choice will fall on Sam or fall on Dean after he's had a chance to bond with Jack some more - that's the other side to the tension about Dean liking jack that i was talking about earlier whensomeone asked me why everyone wants dean to adopt jack.

ideally mary saves herself or it never comes to it but for now i'll assume whatever else happens between here and there, some version of this plan will at least be floated, even if it's random circumstances and not lucifer's hand any more or something

makes sense anyway to tie mary back into the main arc in a way like how she mirrored cas the entire time last season - if her fate and jack's are connected even tenuously it gives her a connect back into the main thing

-

oh good the woman next to me has finished her dangerously over-full cup of Pimms because I was terrified it would be bye bye laptop

nnnoooo as I type she refilled it

the train is swaying back and forth so much

-

anyway Mary asks Lucifer why he wants to be a parent and he hints several times in a row that he has hidden depths without actually showing any of them. i don't want him to have a redemption anyway and i really super duper don't want him to have one written entirely by BL

-

Colonel Sanders continues to try and liven up the story while giving us surface level exposition

I'll be honest, 'write that down' is the first good line... must be whichever of BL is quippy currently writing. I think they just introduced a monster taht lucifer is scared of but I couldn't catch what it was and for some reason another demon is listening in so is he getting ideas? I mean why to what end? also what exactly was the thing that was locked up because it sounded like a cut price Leviathan expo dump but obvs not that because a leviathan would eat Lucifer

i mean i don't think we pay enough attention to the fact that dick roman would just gobble lucifer up and end of story. bring back dick.

-

*Pimms lady sways dangerously close to my laptop*

I think Sam accused Dean of hallucinating "shit" on the road because it's too noisy to hear him say "sheep". I just assume that is what he actually said in the non-censored version

-

pls drink your Pimms fast enough to end this danger but not so fast you're sloshed and throw it on my laptop before it's all gone

-

Cashing in on that new Scooby Doo partnership! Some bank like Halifax is currently using Scooby Doo to sell stuff so I see that dog on telly all the time and the fact they exist in the same fictional universe as Sam and Dean is kiiiilling me. I think we have all been assuming Jack takes us to Scooby World so plonking him in front of the telly to watch some is how it all begins. Dean, like every fan fic between 13x01 and now hates Jack unreservedly for having childlike enthusiasm about the telly because Cas used to do that, while (semi)unaware that Jack is mirroring HIMSELF from 12x11 most closely right now. I think that's an interesting parallel I don't know how much work has gone into but pls poke me to write about Jack's 1 day old child-like wonder compared to sweetie pie no memory Dean if no one else has done it because they're essentially the same character from completely different angles, and we're about to hit Jack mirroring Dean excessively.

-

Me: don't excessively sexualise the kid

BL: "here read a book" *chucks the Bible at him* *he opens it to the Song of Solomon* We're NOT having this chat right now.

I suppose some people just meta-gasmed all over this. I don't know much about the Bible but I do know that's the sexy bit.

-

the "I can take the couch" conversation probably put the exact same thought process in Jack's head as mine when my very lanky brother looked at the lil brick hard bed set up in the corner of our hotel while we were stranded in Glasgow, and looked at me, princess and the pea-syndrome sufferer, and nobly offered to take a bed that *my* feet stuck 3 inches over.

No.

-

Thanks but no.

-

aw man we're only at Carlisle.

-

It's the promo scene as well, which mostly just drove home how much Jack is mirroring Dean... We've had basically no character interaction in the missing day, although we can assume it's mostly gone like this... Dean annoyed, Sam forgiving Jack for being adorable, and Jack being adorable. He's getting better at sarcasm as well, which can't be making Dean feel any better about him.

And that means that the "Castiel is my father" revelation happened off-screen and we're not being given any room for a reaction about it, which is the most annoying part of this. I knew 13x01 was an anomaly and going into a BL ep so soon after would deprive us of some of the emotional depth, but it's like having a bucket of cold water dumped on us :P

-

I think Dean's 'sometimes' about family being good is going to be a criminally underrated line and I don't even know if I can bring myself to remember it all the time in discussions about how Dean feels about family going forwards but this is a note that i heard him say it and acknowledged it means he has some issues with blood family ongoing.

-

Jack being adorably human blah blah, Dean aggravates the issue by being really mean about insisting Lucifer is his father and asking if he reached out to Jack and now Jack's remembering him doing that. Hey leave the kid alone, Dean, his blank slate was slightly messed up by waning to be like Cas which is obviously an excellent exemption to  having a blank slate.

Maybe there's a metaphor in him agitating the bad father sitation over here.

I don't know if Jack should have asked for clarification there so let's pretend there was a hesitation and a "Ca -" "*Lucifer.* Your father." exchange. Or something.

-

And now Nougat is lying about emotional strife, like's been agitated into being a Winchester from his great blank slate

GAH Stop gesturing by the STILL FULL glass of Pimms

they keep topping it up and it's not good for my stress levels

-

I think I just missed basically everything that happened because all I could see was my own reflection but then they were like *rising tension music* *scuffle* *donatello* so I assume he jumped out on them. Mental note to go back and see who was defensive of Jack and what he did.

-

*casually mopping up my neighbour's Pimms as it splashes dangerously close to my laptop while listening to Donatello's exposition*

the good thing about BL episodes is that you can often just kinda chill and  listen to the exposition if it's just a chunk o dialogue and nothing offensive is going on so we're making progress through the ep

-

*dean is super bitter about who does and doesn't have a direct line to god for some reason*

-

Awww Sam says they're brothers and it's a family crest when he is saying Jack should get the tattoo <3

*completely* robbed of Dean's reaction

-

WHY DID THEY NOT TELL JACK IT WOULD HURT

-

I went to the loo and came back to them wiping Pimms off their phone

-

Well Jack just completely put Dean in his place RE: pain, when he told him to man up about it and Jack was like right we accept pain as a sign of maturity... this is absolutely not what Dean meant but it is probably a healthier approach to it minus all the toxic masculinity

can we get to 13x03 and an ep written by Berens soon :P

-

Jack accidentally absorbs his warding. Oops. I guess that angel warding was a WEE bit OTT I mean I'm no expert but that looks like a total pain to be dealing with all the time for the makeup department :P

-

Also must have taken friggin ages

-

I still don't get why Donnatello is here except to use as a chip in their arguments... Ah well. Dean arguing intent doesn't matter freaky powers are freaky powers because he's still pissed about what happened to Cas and can't see the much more basic thing that Jack didn't mean to get Cas killed and OBVIOUSLY didn't intend it if he was waiting for Cas to be there for him when he popped out of the womb. I think for all the random avenues this took in fandom this is probably about as deep as the show will go if this is how BL are spelling it all out for us... And the answer is all there on the page already but we're just using Dean as the alternate side of the argument to show his own character stuff going on where he can't deal with Jack because he's upset about Cas. And he was always more concerned about Cas than the philosophy of whatever else was going on

-

Train going through the Lake District... I am enchanted. It's a grey day w/ very low clouds and water on the ground and all the trees are autumnal. Sue me, this is more interesting than Donatello being unhelpful. He backed up Sam's argument earlier w/ saying Lucifer felt toxic and Jack is somewhat more like his grandfather, but then once he starts talking he's like hurr blurr as a scientist nature wins and he's a monster and then Sam's like I thought you were on my side dude and then Dean angsts about Cas some more and calls Jack the devil and he decides he better start teleporting now because leave me alone not-dad and get off my case

I hope we see his wings. Dean asks in 13x01 if he had wings and equated it to teleporting and I suppose we don't know how demons do it but the assumption is if he's half-angel adn can teleport then he has wings

-

Oh no it is KILLING me how Jack's thing is sitting cross legged. PROTECT HIM.

Sam finds him, thankfully, after the Sad Kelly Montage. There's a very Northern man behind me talking loudly on the phone so I'm gonna concentrate SUPER HARD now

-

The hotel is called the Black Hat which I think is western coding for the bad guy. There was a house in the prairie art on the wall, and the single isolated house is how Jack came into the world... He's dealing with towns now.

-

Exposition Mooose! Telling us Dean gets some wires crossed about getting angry whe nhe's frustrated and scared  like yes good expose dean for us some more... explaining him to jack is like hey so um he's an acquired taste... trying to make this about protecting everyone instead of pointing out the obvious that he blames jack for what happened to cas

Jack is a winchester because he's like maybe i'm not worth it

help

and them Sam brings up w/o knowing it was on jack's mind that kelly thought so but also is a blatant link to how they used dead!mary to guide their lives right up until she came back...

... and then so would Cas and so would I. Sam aligning himself with Jack's parents to show he has emotional guardianship of him right now

-

has dean gone down to the bar because it's called th eblack spur and obvs not the same one but i'm like 100% sure that's the bar from 10x01 where he was hanging with Crowley and I'm not gonna fact check that. it's "black" again aka more nature stuff, more coded evil stuff I guess? I don't know anything about Westerns I admit

-

And hey look a blonde bartender is chatting to him - there's a Jack ale sign on one side... and hahahahahaaaa no there's a Kingdom Beer sign behind Dean over his shoulder because the director wants to kill me

-

So far this is the weirdest BL episode Ive seen in a long time because they're trying so so hard to be all nuanced and deep and to explore character stuff and carry on the mood from the first episode, while being direly under-equipped to handle it, so everyone's just blurting exposition all over the place in a series of awkward exchanges. The overtness of the dialogue is actually helping in a weird way to rush through the tick boxes because Dean just admitted to seeking his neglectful father's approval from a standing start which is a sign of progress for him to just leap right into admitting his issues with John. I don't have a frame of reference for this because tired and white noise and noting we're pulling into Lancaster and it looks like rain now and there's a guy travelling with an enormous silver mirror with an ornate frame as tall as he is on the other platform and more pimms is on the table... but yeah when DID he last talk about John? Is this the increased openness since 12x22 we were hoping for? Is my backpack okay because it's in a luggage rack I can't see and if someone nicks it they're only stealing all my laundry but I like some of those t-shirts so it would be a bummer...

-

Lol surprise Asmodeus, no wonder she pushed all the father stuff... Was he talking about Lucifer then? It's everyone has father issues season. He's fitting in as another mirror in it all. Like the great big shiny mirror the dude at Lancaster station had. I'd honestly not be surprised if John came back in some way just cuz we had the Mary season where motherhood was a theme, and now we're doing this. I don't think John would come back for good liek Mary but they could scrounge up a more direct way of confronting his memory at least.

-

This also is so unsubtle bcos Dean had no idea what the bartender looked like so he coulda just tended the bar and chatted to Dean b4 he knew who Asmodues was, and we could have had some cool tension like we all know that Colonel Sanders is the bad guy and Dean's just chatting him up a bit. But then when do we ever get such things in a BL ep?

-

Sam just goes and spells it out about Jack being molded and the ambiguity of his father figures aka the dual nature battle they think Jack should have, with a deciding vote already thrown in there by Kelly and of course that Jack has free will and choice

-

So Mary just nearly got assaulted, tho not by Lucifer, which was not exactly a pleasant surprise. >.> idk what that guy's problem was but he seems to be implying women can't fight and something something I didn't catch but clearly he doesn't see a whole bunch of women. This is literally the antithesis of the show's handling of female hunters since the start so I'm going to have to assume that this is an AU thing like, total worst timeline, and everyone's sexist to boot. Not really a fan of doing this at all because why are humans made out to be just as bad as meeting angels and demons in this world - Mary being at risk from ALL of them (where is BOBBY I wanna see wtf was going on between him and AU mary and our mary and our bobby) - and it being disappointing that Mary's at risk BECAUSE she's female and might get assaulted.

-

Lucifer continues to try and act like a good guy by saving Mary and then of course the Nice Guy twist that always comes - if you won't give me what I want that I'm pretending is mutually beneficial then I will just hurt you.

They're chilling by that church from 8x23 now so I guess Mikey will be along soon.

Preston Station looks like a hellscape as well - it's packed and there's no ticket barriers. I'm so glad we were only passing through

-

Dean comes in and sits down with Sam with the shadows of the blinds falling over them - prison imagery I missed you! We're trapped in these mindsets...

-

Sam wants to get them on the same page and Dean is like F U and Sam's like lemme do exposition while you sit with the shadow over your eyes.

I wish there was a shadow falling over my eyes... We've passed back through to hazy sunlight south of Preston.

-

Sam says people who we love, and who have been in our lives for a long time, in such a way I bet some asshole is excluding Cas from one category bcos Mary doesn't count in the long time category so maybe one is for her and one is for Cas

-

obviously that's the real donatello because he only cares about breakfast and is an object of ridicule while Asmodeus was presumably the other and actually talking plot.

-

this is an idiot ball moment tbh because Jack hasn't been in any hotel scenes for a while and somehow we've shuffled through all the characters here and not had any of them with Jack or checking where he is despite him being the most precious cargo, and it was bugging me earlier that dontatello and sam talking meant jack was alone because he wouldn't be w/ dean so where was he but Sam didn't ask? they just chatted? And obvs that was asmodeus but yeah... no one's keeping an eye on him and D. wasn't even supposed to be taking Jack to get breakfast or what? If that wasn't him then what exactly did Sam think Jack was up to?

-

Also Sam tanking the mytharc Dean tanking the personal arc - he talks to both of them w/o them knowing and guess what each's conversation is

-

And also Dean came in with food as well like there's major miscommunication going on here if the real donatello was getting breakfst and so was Dean but is that the point or is that just a plothole where this doesn't add up properly if you actually try and map who knew what and - was Dean the one SUPPOSED to be watching Jack? But Sam didn't ask him either.

-

Anyway here's the demon that Dean's entire fight scene is about straddling to death.

-

I also loved his march down to the room where he was all in shadows

-

The last shot of that fight though where Dean's cowering away from the demon on a bed while it advances on him with a knife

like wow that was a good fight scene for the dynamics going on there. Dean as a victim being absolutely dominated by that demon and all the associated knife and weirdass positions imagery. Dean on that table with his legs around the demon is like an entire meta on its own as well

-

okay it was too bright when I saw the scene where Asmodeus was talking about that whatever it was he let out but I THINK that was the same demon I thought I saw overhearing it and now I am wondering what on earth that was about because Dean just killed him :P

-

Awww Jack out in nature. I love the flowers and the buzz of insects and life all around him. And Asmodeus is testing him.

Okay it's been like one episode how can he have character inconsistency with himself from earlier in the episode - he now wants to unleash the things he got in trouble for unleashing before? I mean unless he's decided that Lucifer really isn't coming back so might as well just throw a party while there's no adult supervision, and get back to all that chaos and destruction he loves. If he thought there was remotely a chance Lucifer would come back he wouldn't do it, but then is he just doing it now out of spite that Lucifer told him no before, and instead of whatever nonsense he said about family dynamics back then is not really true at all because he wants to rebel now instead.

If Jack unleashes the thing because he was tricked then it will be the biggest Sam and Cas mirror thing ever and will set him up with some angst and guilt for the rest of the season.

One of the downsides of Dean not getting along with him is that Jack doesn't know how much scepticism about God is a healthy amount in this universe. He basically just knows that God is his grandfather and family is usually good. But God is suuuch a bad concept to rally behind here, it's not even like God wouldn't ask him to do it because God never tells anyone what to do about anything (which is like the first thing Dean would have told Jack if he hadn't still been sulking God wouldn't lift a finger to help him over the whole dead Cas issue), God would also just never have any positive reinforcement for anyone or get excited about having a grandson, at least in a way to get actively involved :P

I mean Chuck probs thought that Donatello making his way to Jack was about as useful as he could be and that immediately went sour when no one kept 2 pairs of eyes on each other at all times.

-

Wyoming has some pretty nasty stuff under it :P

I wonder if Hell maps exactly to earth but just kinda deeper.

Also point to me for rambling about hell gates earlier and then Asmodeus actually listening to my suggestion box for once. Maybe he will be the one character who can actually hear me in this show.

Hey you, you're an asshole

-

Is Lucifer aware he literally just lead them in a circle because I am so not telling him that, because it's too funny.

I hope Jack didn't inherit his sense of direction but this is Dabb era, as soon as that kid gets a car, trouble starts.

-

The midlands are so bleak.

-

These angels are wearing heavy tactical gear and yet more kneepads. The human had them too. This is just kneepad world. I don't see the necklaces of baby ears so maybe that design thing got ditched or maybe Bobby was being metaphorical.  The important thing is they don't look like Cas. The weird thing is we know Mikey's costume sort of does look like a ragged Cas.

Anyway Lucifer is so offended to hear Michael killed him even though it was literally the most obvious thing ever the entire time we've known about them and since 12x12 we've had extra info to prove it :P

-

Omg why are you opening champagne on a traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

-

MIKEY

He wanders in like hey I'm awesome but also I need to immediately open with super obvious exposition lines

Lucifer accuses him of being dressed like he came from a western too which goes with the thematics back in the Earth part of the story and also makes me think maybe the costuming choice was supposed to kinda mirror Frontierland Dean's 2nd costume because why the fuck not this is Dabb era, rules are for suckers :P

I can't see it w/o the hat but maybe he has a hat elsewhere.

-

this hole down into the centre of the earth looks REMARKABLY like the one the 2nd season of Shadowhunters had in the season finale, so I need Magnus to just wander over the rise and close it now. Also his eyes glow gold and cat like. Is his power literally equivalent to Jack's? He's like ridiculously OP in that show. I guess all that hiatus watching was research.

-

Ah, Asmodeus has learned the "Oh shit it's the Winchesters" moment already, especially recognising the car. Them driving right onto the scene has the oddest shades of 5x22 without anything being remotely like it except it's a field, hole in the earth, and car.

-

Okay why did Donatello yell "that's not Donatello"

this is like the reverse of the best version of this scene I've ever heard which is the one from the end of Here Be Gerblins in the Adventure Zone which I will not spoil for you except to say this is the worst and also it doesn't take too much listening to get to that point and I nearly cried laughing so you should probably go listen. More hiatus watching research!

-

The other option is D is having a total crisis of self w/o a soul or the evil D is actually the real thing and Asmodeus is helping them for some reason.

-

LOL he's like hi I'm Crowley's replacement so the line now is "howdy boys" intead of hello boys

-

As soon as Jack knows what's up and sees his new peeps getting hurt he stops because he is precious and he did nothing wrong and I love him

-

AWW HE THINKS THEY'RE HIS FRIENDS I LOVE YOU NOUGAT

-

Deal with that, Dean.

-

Mary like "... should I be shuffling backwards?" "I SHOULD BE SHUFFLING BACKWARDS, BYE"

-

Lucifer said he needed Mary, Mikey says he needs Lucifer... I think that phrase is being turned over and ruined now. The necessary step of Dean having said it to Cas that one time when he shoulda said I love you... They had a brief critique of "need and want" and some stuff about i and we, which was what last season was doing, but Cas feels bad bcos he feels needed but not wanted, and this is as much as Dean has said to him - from the depths of his heart - but it's not enough because that was season 8 and he hasn't felt like he belongs and he needs that I love you. Uh but w/o using "need" - look, they're gesticulating with champagne again, I have 1 eye on this at best as we roll through the midlands for an eternity :P Anyway I guess it is time to put "need" in the firing line as the Wrong Word that means that you're USING someone.

-

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? DEAN DOES NOT SIT AT THE TABLE LIKE THAT. OH MY POOR, POOR BROKEN CHILD LET ME HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

I know it's probably for that wonderful shot of them through the door but Dean fundamentally does not sit up against the wall - he and Sam have their places at that table when they have their chats and it's a serious thing since the entire time theyve been using the kitchen for important plot chats.

Anyway he super not okay bcos that's his seat he sits at when he's in his proper place in the dynamic - or improper one but the point is the dynamic is the dynamic when they sit opposite each other and Dean's opted out and flopped back against the wall instead of sitting where he normally does when he and Sam are in balance. Sam's connection to his seat has some other flavours of his side of the codependency issues but largely about his lack of assertiveness or getting too messed up about saving Dean, so we'll see

-

AAAH Sam is sitting one seat over as well.

I know it's a free table but there's 8 seats and REMARKABLY little flexibility about it.

Dean's wearing a black henley which is also baaad news. *pats him on the head and follows with a blanket*

-

Sam stands (or sits) his ground

-

Dean, gosh, I don't like when the camera follows you because this is probably going to be awful for my heart.

We also have not really had his POV much this ep except the Asmodeus chat up scene

He's mostly reacted. Like he thinks Jack is only reacting.

I DON'T LIKE THIS SCENE

PROTECT JACK FROM HIMSELF TOO

I hope he was just being curious like a super amped up version of how Kira on Orphan Black found out she has super healing powers so sliced her own arm open while being scared and fascinated with what she was and pissed off the adults wouldn't tell her anything but this was gross and violent and pls protect Jack because that was awful.

Dean's suitably horrified though because he has to contemplate Jack is just as freaked out and lost as he is about this whole thing because this is a gross and horrifying way to show that Jack is as fucked up and lost as the rest of them. I don't think he was actually trying to kill himself esp. because he knew the angel blade already stabbed him and did nothing and even if he doesn't know what it is and why that's signficant he knows he didn't die of something that should have killed him... I hope it's just childlike curiosity mixed with bleak existential horror as he comes to understand how much he doesn't understand himself even in the context of the world he's in...

-

OH NO

but also good lines of dialogue they acted super well. Jack is starting to think he can't be saved if Dean doesn't think it and is silently asking him to do it because he doesn't want to hurt people and oh gosh this isn't 10x09 at all where Deran asked Cas to do it to him... But completely different emotional landscape where Dean WOULD do it and wants to and Jack is only just starting to doubt himself and wonder if he would hurt people and the important thing is not like Dean thinking there was a line he would cross and half-tricking Cas into saying he'd do it by asking him for a favour first, but Cas not being able to oblige him in 10x22... This is Jack being such a good pure piece of nougat that he's SCARED of what he is and what he can do and beginning to think that he might need to be killed esp. because Dean thinks so and this has been a bad day for him... even though again his nature shone through, Dean thinks it was a "sneeze" and Jack still doesn't have a developed enough moral compass to understand what he did except that we can see it was a good thing.

-

And final shot Jack reflected in the mirror all bloody and sad and I need to zoom in on that later to see his face because like magic the sun is out again when I want to look at the screen.

-

End episode here. Good. That means Dean angstily listening to music is in 13x03 almost for sure because I want it to be (uh, sorry that's not science :P) but it would be a great Berens to Berens chat with self about 9x14 and Dean angstily listening to music there.

I am not actually where were we are any more except powering towards London, but I'm gonna put my laptop away because they're still topping up the champagne and I just survived a BL episode where nothing so awful happened that I can see the fandom outrage from a million miles away and the worst I can say is that they are an exposition machine and I wish they had more nuanced dialogue because in someone else's hands that character stuff would have been delivered well rather than just delivered :P

[dazzledbyrob]

NEW INTERVIEW WITH ESQUIRE UK

Robert Pattinson’s Darker Materials

Three years since he last met Esquire, Robert Pattinson remains dedicated to redefining himself as an expressive actor beyond the teen-hero hysteria of his early career. In his new film, gritty heist thriller Good Time, he finds redemption as a cold-hearted criminal and achieves the almost supernaturally impossible — walking around New York unrecognised

When he was shooting his latest movie, Good Time, in Queens last year, Robert Pattinson would start the day with a run. And he’d be recognised, as always. Such is life for the 31-year-old actor formerly known as Edward Cullen, the broody vampire in the Twilight movies. Over five years and five films, he inspired such a vast and hysterical following that more than any star of his generation he became a prisoner of his own celebrity. He was forced to sell his home in Griffith Park, Los Angeles, because of paparazzi at the gates. They trailed him everywhere, entailing all kinds of Jason Bourneism, like swapping clothes with friends and assistants in restaurant bathrooms, sending them off in decoy cars, up to five at a time. And if he failed, if just one tweet went out with his location, then armies of paps and Twi-hards, crazed and shrieking, would come galloping over the horizon like the Dothraki hordes.

But after each run, something extraordinary happened. He got into costume as his character in Good Time, Connie Nikas, a Greek-American criminal from Queens, and just like that, the staring stopped. He could walk down the street unmolested. This latest film is his best performance by some distance, an electric, adrenalin shot of a movie that will establish him as one of the most vital actors of the day, so there’s that. But this gift of anonymity may be equally precious. Good Time will put Pattinson’s name in lights while simultaneously helping him blend into the background. Shooting it gave him his life back. It’s handed the prisoner a set of keys, because as Nikas, Pattinson could move through the world again. He was free.

“It was amazing. Invisibility cloak,” he says. “I’ve always wondered what can you do, just a simple thing to your face so you can just… exist in the world. And now I know. Darken your beard and put on these acne scar things and people will look directly into your face, and not even a glimmer. It’s fascinating. Also earrings, there’s something about fake diamond earrings.”

He looks a bit Connie Nikas today, actually. We’re in a booth at a private member’s club in West Hollywood, and he’s wearing a sports jacket on top of a hoodie, never mind that this is the height of summer. The jacket’s Lacoste; very hipster I tell him. And he laughs.

“Is anyone not a hipster now? I think it’s just normal culture,” he says. “Anyway, I found this on eBay so, you know… I’d be cool if I had it from school, like, ‘I’ve had this for aaages. I still dress exactly like I did when I was 12.’ Ha ha ha!”

He looks happy, energised, garrulous. The hands move around, the Lacoste rustles, he’s chewing on a toothpick and tipping his head back to laugh and laugh. He looks like a guy who made a bet on himself and won, which he did. And this is what he’s here to tell us: chase what you want in life, take the risk, who cares what people think in the end. This is your life, not theirs.

The last time I saw Pattinson for Esquire, three years ago, he’d only just made that bet. He came over to my house for lunch, and we got the barbecue going, there were beers — things celebrities never do — and we talked about The Rover, a film he made with director David Michôd (Animal Kingdom). It was his first major step on the route away from Twilight and towards Good Time, a life that he actually wanted. He’d made a pact with himself to only pick roles that were unlike anything he’d done before, that would broaden him as an actor and human being, and to work only with film-makers he loved, with no compromise. So post-Twilight, his CV is just one auteur after the next, in a string of movies that don’t make money but are always compelling. Besides The Rover, there’s his second film with David Cronenberg, 2014’s Maps to the Stars; The Childhood of a Leader directed by his friend Brady Corbet; The Lost City of Z with the film-maker’s film-maker, James Gray, not to mention the Safdie brothers, Josh and Benny, who made Good Time.

Back in 2014, he was living next to rap impresario Suge Knight in a gated community on Mulholland Drive, still in hiding from Twilight fans. It was a secluded life, with just an inflatable boat and an assistant for company. “Aww, I miss my assistant,” he says. “He’s now a real estate agent in Phoenix. Couldn’t take it any more. 'All you do is play video games!’” Most of Pattinson’s time was spent in one room, watching films and reading books, much as it is today.

“Probably my fondest memory from that house is watching the first three seasons of Game of Thrones over four days.” He laughs. “So lame that’s my fondest memory!”

He dreamed of escape. #Vanlife on Instagram became an obsession, posts celebrating the nouveau hippy world of attractive young surfer types living the free-spirit life in camper vans, free of all material possessions beyond a hammock, a book of poetry and a mobile phone to upload selfies to madden people in cubicle offices.

“I nearly did it,” Pattinson says. “I was 100 per cent going to live in a van, but not just any van — a stealth van! It’s a special niche, not like living in a trailer. Stealth vans looks like a normal Transit van, so you can park on the street, put signs on saying you’re a plumber or whatever and no one would notice.”

Van life promised anonymity, freedom, mobility: all the things he missed and wanted.

“It’s that thing, where you can just leave in the middle of the night and, like, drive to Nebraska,” he says. “And with solar power, you’re totally off the grid. I’d love that so much. And I was like, I’m still young, this is my chance…”

So he looked into it. The Mercedes-Benz Sprinter looked tidy; it had a toilet and shower in the back. But no.

“The Sprinter’s too fancy. It draws attention. So I visited different companies to retro- fit Transit vans but it’s complicated,” he says. “Once you build [in] a toilet and shower yourself, you can’t get it insured and blah blah blah.”

Still, he hasn’t ruled it out. One day, maybe. For now, though, instead of Nebraska, he moved five minutes down the road, to another secluded mansion in the hills. Only this time it’s not quite such a Spartan existence. He lives with “Twigs”, aka FKA Twigs, the British singer, and their little dog Solo. He won’t talk about her, though they may be engaged after three years together. And one can’t blame him; the Twi-hard fanbase has already subjected her to a torrent of racist abuse. Which is partly why they spend half their time in London, out east near Hackney Downs (hipster level: high). Pattinson gets hassled much less back home. “I go around on my bike,” he says, “so I’m basically a ghost.”

He was deep into #vanlife when he saw a still from the Safdie brothers’ movie of 2014, Heaven Knows What. It was just a close-up of the actress Arielle Holmes in a pink/blue light, her eyes sunken and strung out as if on heroin; she was playing a homeless junkie, a life she’d led until Josh Safdie approached her in a Manhattan subway and asked to make a film about her. The realism was palpable. And Pattinson was hooked at once: he had to work with these people.

“It was so cool, this photo, it had an amazing vibe, but also they’re American. Normally with an image like that, the director turns out to be Czech or something,” he says. “And my agents hadn’t heard of them either, so I knew I’d found something before anybody else.” This is what Pattinson loves more than anything — making discoveries.

Without even seeing the movie, he wrote the Safdies an email rich with compliments, a tried and tested ploy. “I basically say, 'Look, I’m not playing. I like very little and I like this thing you did, I think you’re good, and I just… know!’ And after that I call repeatedly.”

He’s done this with James Gray, with acclaimed French film director Claire Denis (who’s writing and directing his next film High Life). It’s a winning strategy. “I realised about four years ago, this is the best way to do it. I don’t even tell my agents.”

At first, Josh Safdie was hesitant. He was working on a movie about New York’s diamond district and Pattinson just wasn’t right for it. But they clicked, and once they met up, Josh saw something: “He has a wounded war veteran vibe to him, like there’s a major trauma in his life and he’s constantly trying to hover, trying not to be seen. I thought that was perfect for a guy on the run.” So the Safdies created a project for Pattinson, essentially writing him a movie.

“The thing about Josh and Benny,” Pattinson says, “is their energy and drive. It’s astonishing. And that’s how their movies feel, like there’s too much fuel in the car! I wanted that energy, something superkinetic. A lot of the stuff I’d done before was reactive, so I wanted to be forced into a situation. That’s their tone: runaway train. Their genre is literally panic. And that’s kind of who I am as well. So I said, 'Just push push push, be as audacious as possible.’”

The story centres around Connie, a sociopathic street criminal who can’t stand the thought of his mentally challenged brother Nick — played brilliantly by Benny Safdie — being institutionalised. So Connie takes him on a bank robbery, the first of several terrible decisions, each one cascading chaotically into the next. It’s a film that seizes you by the lapels and doesn’t let go for 100 minutes.

Unlike anything else he’s done, Pattinson was involved throughout the writing process. He was in the jungle in Colombia at the time, making The Lost City of Z, a gnarly experience by all accounts: he has stories of picking maggots out of his beard, and crew members being bitten by snakes. But at the day’s end, he’d find a volley of emails (there’s wi-fi in the Amazon, apparently) from the Safdies about Connie Nikas, about criminals, about the world of their movie.

They worked together painstakingly on Connie’s backstory, and Robert read all the books the brothers were inspired by, The Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer and In the Belly of the Beast by Jack Henry Abbott. He watched the documentaries they sent over, notably One Year in a Life of Crime (1989) by John Alpert, and episodes of Cops, the Nineties reality TV that featured police chasing down and arresting a whole menagerie of street criminals. Josh calls it “America’s greatest TV series”. There would often be dialogue or behaviour that would be useful in building Connie Nikas. By the time Pattinson was ready to move to Queens, he was already halfway there.

Pattinson doesn’t do method; he’s more or less untrained, apart from a short stint in the Barnes Theatre Company aged 15. The Safdies introduced him to a new level of improvisation and research. They had Robert as Connie writing Nick letters as though from prison. Then they went on a tour of the Manhattan Detention Complex.

“Rob came as Connie, but he didn’t have the accent yet so he just looked around and kept to himself,” says Josh Safdie. They met people that Connie might be friends with. “My friends at Lucky’s Automotive Repair in Yonkers, basically. We started bringing Benny in as Nick then.” And from there, Rob and Benny took their characters out into the world, going to Dunkin’ Donuts, even working at a car wash together for a week.

“We had Nick drive the cars off after they went through,” says Benny. “But Nick has issues. He can’t do what Connie wants him to, so there was tension between them, it almost got violent. And that’s what we wanted. We wanted to give Rob a history of the emotions he would feel in certain moments.”

Critically, though, no one clocked Pattinson through all this. The car wash manager knew who he was, but no one else did, and they didn’t ask. It was a revelation. As Connie — with the clothing, hair and makeup — Pattinson could go unrecognised to such a degree that when they shot a scene toward the end in an apartment block, local residents didn’t even see him as an actor. They knew a movie star was in their midst but had heard it was Bradley Cooper.

“So, I was in this packed elevator and people were like, 'Yo, you like Bradley Cooper’s security guard?’ It was amazing,” Pattinson says. One of the joys of Good Time is remembering just how different Robert and his character Connie actually are. Pattinson is from south-west London, where he went to The Harrodian, a nice public school in Barnes. The son of a vintage-car salesman father and a model-booker mother, he grew up middle class and comfortable, an artistic type who set out after a music career (his band’s name: Bad Girls) before acting won out. He never came across characters like Connie Nikas in real life, so he imagined them; they were “fantasy figures”, as he calls them. And as such, no less influential.

“Growing up, you see Pacino and you want to be that,” he says, and then laughs. “I sound like a dick already, comparing myself to Pacino!”

But the point is sound; to Pattinson, Connie falls into the tradition of Pacino’s Sonny in Dog Day Afternoon, or Robert De Niro’s Johnny Boy in Mean Streets, the very characters who inspire people like Pattinson to become actors in the first place. Like all middle-class kids, he craved Connie’s authenticity.

“Everyone wants to say, 'I’ve gone through hardships’ or whatever. And some kids at school got so obsessed with looking tough that eventually they just were. They were mugging people. It’s like, 'Why are you mugging people? You live in Wimbledon!’ But you could see the progression,” he says. “It was born out of desire, not necessity. It’s fascinating.”

As for Pattinson, he just lied.

“I decided the best way to be real is to fake it! I used to lie all the time when I was younger. Like even though I had a London accent, I’d tell people I grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. That was about as gritty as I could pull off.”

His own life of crime was limited to stealing porn mags, aged 11, a story he told US shock jock Howard Stern. Eventually, he was caught, of course, the moment of humiliation seared into his memory as, in front of a line of old ladies collecting their pensions, the shop owner reached into his bag and pulled out one jazz mag after another.

“I turned on the tears and everything. I was desperate!” he says. “And when my mum heard, I totally threw one of my friends under the bus: 'Dan did it!’ It’s pretty terrifying when you’re backed against the wall. When people ask how would you behave in an emergency, now I know. I’m a wimp! I guess that’s pretty obvious!”

He says wimp, but there’s a quiet strength behind that self-effacing, affable front. Not everyone would confess to being a cowardly kid, or lying about their background, as insecure people don’t admit their flaws so freely. One of the reasons he was so drawn to the role of Connie, for instance, was the character’s lack of fear or shame. “I’m the opposite. Shame is the most crippling thing. I don’t even know what it is, it’s not connected to any other emotion. So I choose work to directly combat elements of my own personality.”

Josh Safdie spotted Pattinson’s ambition early on. “There’s a mania to him,” he says. “A manic desire to conquer the world. I was very happy to see it.”

And for all his self-deprecation, there’s a pride there in what he’s achieved post-Twilight. None of his subsequent film choices are obviously commercial, which suits him perfectly: low-budget indies, he says, have a lower bar to break even and with his international stardom, courtesy of Twilight in no small part, he can usually rest easy. Sometimes, his involvement is what makes these projects actually happen.

But artistically — and this is where he’s definitely not a wimp — every project is a risk, a test, a leap, yet another opportunity to fail and land very publicly on his arse. But that’s just how he likes it. The nerves, the threat of failure keep him interested.

“I like a big mountain to climb,” he says. “Some parts no one would think of me for, and I don’t blame them.”

Why go for those roles though, if they’re so against type? He shrugs.

“Probably just to prove I can, really.”

As the bill arrives for our meal, Pattinson chomps merrily through another round of toothpicks. It seems he’s been entirely sensible this time around. Not even one beer. “If I drink I’ll sound like a cock,” he says. “Actually, I probably sound like a cock already!” Anyway, he’s saving room for a cognac tasting later tonight with the Good Time producers. Not the kind of thing he does that often but these are heady times, what with the excitement around the movie, the critical acclaim. It’s such a buzz that even the press tour isn’t so painful. There’s room for some mischief at any rate.

On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, he tried to make fun of Josh Safdie but it came out wrong. He told Kimmel that Safdie had asked him to jerk off a dog. “It got [animal charity] Peta angry… everyone. It was like a whole American uproar for a day-and-a-half,” Josh says. “He’s a little shit, I promise you. But I love that about him.”

For the most part, though, Pattinson leads a fairly quiet life. It’s just him, Twigs and Solo kicking around at home. When he’s not working, he says, he’s looking for work.

“I’m basically flicking through the pages of Loot every day. I live the life of an unemployed person.” And for him that means watching art house movies, trawling film-geek websites and — so long as Game of Thrones isn’t on — cold-calling directors.

In a couple of weeks, he’s off to Germany for cosmonaut training for the movie he’s making with Claire Denis. It’s about another ex-con, this time in space as part of a human reproduction experiment. He mentioned it in a Q&A session in LA after a screening of Good Time, and no one in the audience had heard of Denis. Such is Pattinson’s particular taste.

“I don’t think Claire has made a bad movie in, like, 20, but I don’t know if any have been commercially successful!” he laughs. “That’s what it’s like in France. There’s a market there for less conventionally commercial movies, and that’s the world I want to be a part of. I just want to do stuff that people are only making for themselves, because it ends up being, by definition, more singular.”

The project that has him excited comes at the end of the year: The Devil All the Time, by Antonio Campos, who made Christine last year, a brilliant drama about a depressive Seventies news anchor in Florida. (For the record, Pattinson cold-called him too.) “There’s this line in it — and sometimes that’s all you need. And it’s like, 'Ooh… that’s scary to say’. Because it’ll go down in posterity and I’ll be the one saying it. You literally cannot get darker. It’s fucking dark. This character is an evangelical preacher in the South in the Fifties, but he’s gleefully bad and kind of funny and charismatic too. I know, it’s irresistible.”

Like, sexually repulsive, violent?

“Mmm… yes, all that. But you know when actors say, 'I refuse to play someone who does something bad.’ I’m, like, why? That’s fucking crazy. You can’t do anything bad in your real life. I think if someone needs to play a hero all the time, it’s probably because they’re doing really gross stuff in their real life.”

So you’re telling me, this is the only chance you get to be bad?

He laughs, and gets up to put on his Lacoste jacket, his camouflage, and flips up the hoodie underneath. Now he’s safe to leave our meeting without causing an incident. But it’s impossible now not to see shades of Connie, the sociopath bank robber from Queens.

“Yeah,” he grins. “The rest of the time, I’m an angel!”

Good Time is out on 3 November

[thelucienblog]

LIVE IN MPLS | 10/21: Boris & ENDON

Last night I attended my second and last ever show at the Triple Rock Social Club. For those that don’t know, the Triple Rock is a primarily punk/metal music venue located on the West Bank in Minneapolis. They just announced that they’re closing down after about twenty years in operation, and a lot of people are very sad about it. I’m not going to act like I have a super meaningful connection to the place, but I certainly acknowledge the fact that they’re closing is going to be a huge loss for the Twin Cities music scene as a whole. A lot of punk/metal bands that come here are in the tricky position of having a substantial following, but a), not being big enough to fill the Skyway or the Cabooze, (the only other predominantly punk/metal venues in town) and b), not having a hipster enough fanbase to be booked by First Avenue or any of its affiliated venues. The Triple Rock is the perfect place for bands faced with this quandary to play, but in about a month, it’s not going to be around anymore.

Boris is by far the biggest act on the remainder of the Triple Rock’s concert calendar, so naturally, the show was packed. Not only did it sell out, but by the time Boris came onstage I’m pretty the main room was operating at least 50 people over capacity. The whole night was a fire marshall’s worst nightmare. Unfortunately, this ended up having a pretty significant impact on my overall enjoyment of the show, but I’ll elaborate on that later.

ENDON

ENDON’s grammatically erroneous, Google Translated bio states that they’re an “experimental acoustic collective known for their destructive performances involving self-mutilation and bleeding[???]”. Any opening bands reading this should be taking notes; this is the kind of bio that makes me show up early to catch your set. It’s really never a bad idea to do some research on opening bands. I’m certainly glad that I did, because ENDON turned out to be the highlight of my entire night.

For ENDON’s opening “song”, the lead singer, Taichi Nagura, let off a salvo of animalistic screams, unfettered by any sort of recognizable structure or instrumental accompaniment. I found this to be quite the charming introduction. Eventually, at a seemingly arbitrary point in time, Nagura decided that it was time to stop. He stepped down from his vantage point on top of the monitors, gave his band a quick glance, and the onslaught began.

“Noise Rock”, in the American sense of the term, doesn’t really have much to do with noise music itself. It's true that noise rock bands like Scratch Acid and Big Black indulge in abrasive, offputting songwriting that most self-proclaimed “hardcore” bands wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. However, most of the time they’re still holding onto some semblance of melody, structure, and lyricism. To do away with these things would be a musical risk more dangerous than anything else they could possibly attempt.

The cool thing about ENDON is that they’re perfectly comfortable with eschewing melody, structure, and lyricism as they please. They love their atonal riffs, their songs can change in an instant from moshpit-inducing death hymns to dreamy, shoegazey lullabies, and, perhaps most unusually, much of their music doesn’t even have proper lyrics. This isn’t in a “we’re Sigur Ros and we’re special snowflakes so we made up our own language” sense; the vocal lines that Nagura is singing are essentially just a collection of screams. He explained the reasoning behind this in a recent interview with Echoes and Dust:

“Through the Mirror [ENDON’s latest album] is the name of a stage play, and the song titles are names of each act. I identify as the main character – a fantasy of a human who does not talk/cannot talk. He is the noise. Thus, there’s no lyrics. I’ve spun fiction and entrusted the story to a chain of song titles. Since the work originates from my personality, it has an essence of metafictional intentionality.”

Now although I often give high praise to bands that like to deviate from the norm, I still believe that every deviation needs adequate reasoning behind it. You’ve got to know the rules before you can break them in order to have any sort of artistry behind whatever musical detour you’ve chosen to take. ENDON not only strays far further from the norm than most rock bands working today, but they also manage to do it with confidence and reason behind every stride. Although they’re obviously somewhat inaccessible to the average listener, bands like them deserve more attention and commendation for their bravery.

Final Verdict: great!

Boris

Sadly, seeing Boris live stands as my biggest musical disappointment of the year so far. They weren’t the worst band that I’ve seen all year (that award goes to Slowdive). However, last night was the experiential equivalent of my expectations being curbstomped by a group of Japanese experimental musicians who collectively decided that all they felt like playing that night was 2-3 notes per song.

I’m not usually a hater of drone music. In most cases, I’m willing to fight to the death when its merits are called into question. I fell in love with drone about a year ago when I bought Sunn O)))’s entire back catalog during a Black Friday sale on their label’s website. There are three main aspects of drone that I love: the sonic textures, the mesmerizing repetition, and, most of all, the atmosphere. When I listen to “Cursed Realms (of the Winterdemons)” off of Sunn O)))’s Black One, I not only hear the screams of the demons, but after a while, I even start to feel the cold. It's easy music to get sucked into, especially while lying in bed with your eyes closed late at night.

Along with Sunn O))) and Earth, Boris is one of my favorite drone bands out there. Ever since it came out, I’ve been keeping their new album, Dear, in heavy rotation. Dear is a little more sonically varied than some of Boris’ early drone work (which I haven’t heard much of, due to the fact that most of it is absent from Spotify and out of print), but I still think it’s a pretty fair assessment to label it as a drone album. Early on in the show, I was actually fine with the fact that two songs in, Boris seemed to be sticking to their drone stuff. But then came the third song. Then the fourth. Then the fifth. As the hour grew later, the bus schedules became less frequent, and my chances of getting home at a decent hour began to deteriorate at a rapid pace. The drunken idiots crowded around me just seemed to be getting sweatier and sweatier. And then there was Boris. What were they doing? Why were they boring me out of my mind?

Eventually, I realized that there was nothing wrong with the music. This was the same old eardrum-rattling drone music that I’d been listening to on my own time throughout the past year. So what exactly was holding back my enjoyment?

Brian Eno once stated that he wanted his music to be “as part of the ambience of the environment just as the colour of the light and the sound of the rain were parts of that ambience. I was trying to make a piece that could be listened to and yet could be ignored... perhaps in the spirit of Satie, who wanted to make music that could mingle with the sound of the knives and forks at dinner.” While drone is far from what most people would consider pleasant dinner music, I believe that it shares a common purpose with ambient in that it is meant to provide atmosphere, not be the main focus of the listener’s attention. You might be quite enamored of a room with some interesting wallpaper until you’re forced to stare at that wallpaper for an hour and a half after the room has been packed to the gills with sweaty drunks.

This leads to the other problem with drone in a live setting: the live setting itself. Although unpleasant viewing circumstances have the potential to screw up just about any show, most of the time the viewer can simply try and ignore what’s going on around them and focus their attention on the music. Herein lies the problem; drone/ambient performances can’t act as a diversion from the atmosphere, because instead of being a separate thing to focus on, they are effectively part of it. Anytime I listen to drone/ambient, much of the overall quality of the experience the is dictated by me, not the music. I’m the one choosing to listen to “Cursed Realms (of the Winterdemons)” while lying in bed late at night, instead of during a walk with my dog on a sunny day.

Live music is about one thing and one thing only: the listener’s overall experience. Boris played a perfectly good drone set last night, but I had a bad experience, so I’m going to give it a bad grade. Music is subjective. Sorry Boris.

Highlights: “Beyond”

Final Verdict: bad

[jmuo-blog]

New Post has been published on https://jmuo.com/special-sauce-wheres-kenji-here-hes-here/

Special Sauce: Where’s Kenji?!? (Here. He’s Here.)

amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "fresh17-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "cooking"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "Kitchen"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "51fe4d035c7af8dc5928e6f5e5b79c4e"; amzn_assoc_default_browse_node = "284507"; amzn_assoc_rows = "4"; amzn_assoc_design = "text_links";

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik. Sausage photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

I decided to kick off the new season of Special Sauce by checking in with Kenji. It won’t surprise the Serious Eats tribe that he’s been a little busy lately. You probably know about Wursthall, the restaurant he opened with two other partners in his adopted hometown of San Mateo, California. But you may not know that he’s also working on his very first children’s book and the sequel to his best-selling book, The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science, all while juggling the demands of being a relatively new father.

One of the first things I asked Kenji about is whether his absolutely adorable 18-month-old daughter is as into cooking as his Instagram feed would indicate. “Oh, yeah. I mean, we cook every day together,” he said. “I made her a little helper stool so she can climb up and get at counter height, and she has a little wooden knife… She loves it. She likes to whisk things, she makes pancake batter. She pounds things in the mortar and pestle. She dances along when you chop quickly.” I have no doubt Alicia will be reverse-searing steaks any day now.

I also asked him to talk about his children’s book and why he wanted to write it. “I want to have a good legacy and I want to add joy to the world,” Kenji said. “This seemed like a way that I could do [that], in a way that was both very personal to me but also could be shared.” But, of course, because this is Kenji, part of it was also because it presented a challenge. “This is something I’ve never done before. I can tell you, writing a kids’ book is not easy. In a way, it’s even more difficult than writing The Food Lab.” 
 And then we talked about his other book project, the sequel to The Food Lab, which he descibed as being more focused on how he cooks at home. “It’ll be a much less American-centric book,” he said. “Techniques from all around the world, ingredients from all around the world, and essentially breaking down those techniques and ingredients and showing everyday home cooks how they can use the knowledge that everybody from around the world has collected over millennia to make their everyday cooking easier and more flavorful and more efficient.”

Finally, Kenji and I talked about challenges and rewards of opening Wursthall. “The most rewarding part of the restaurant,” Kenji said, “is knowing that you’re helping these 50 employees earn a living and all of your guests have a good time…Anybody who doesn’t feel that way, shouldn’t be in hospitality.”

We covered an awful lot of ground in this episode, and I think Serious Eaters everywhere will enjoy every second of Kenji’s return to Special Sauce.

Special Sauce is available on iTunes, Google Play Music, Soundcloud, Player FM, and Stitcher. You can also find the archive of all our episodes here on Serious Eats and on this RSS feed.

You Could Be on Special Sauce

Want to chat with me and our unbelievably talented recipe developers? We’re accepting questions for Special Sauce call-in episodes now. Do you have a recurring argument with your spouse over the best way to maintain a cast iron skillet? Have you been working on your mac and cheese recipe for the past five years, but can’t quite get it right? Does your brother-in-law make the worst lasagna, and you want to figure out how to give him tips? We want to get to know you and solve all your food-related problems. Send us the whole story at [email protected].

Transcript

Ed Levine: Welcome to Special Sauce, Serious Eats’ podcast about food and life. For the next two weeks were going to catch up with two people I’ve been proud to be working with for a long time. We begin with Mr. Food Lab himself, Serious Eats’ chief culinary consultant, Kenji Lopéz-Alt.

J. Kenji López-Alt: Dude, like I wrote the BLT Manifesto. This is my restaurant. You can’t use my own words to tell me that what I’m serving is not the thing that I meant to serve.

EL: And next week, Kenji and I will be joined by Serious Eats’ current managing culinary director Daniel Gritzer. Welcome back to Special Sauce, my man, Kenji.

JKLA: Well, thanks. It’s good to be back.

EL: The first thing I want to ask you about is your adorable daughter, Alicia.

JKLA: Yeah, she’s 18 and a half months.

EL: 18 and a half months. She’s been cooking alongside you, if we can take your Instagram feed at face value.

JKLA: Oh, yeah. I mean, we cook every day together. She loves it, it’s her favorite thing. I made her a little helper stool so she can climb up and get at counter height, and she has a little wooden knife. So, she’ll just come up. Her favorite thing to do right now is to take my scraps and throw them in the compost bin, or sometimes take the prepared vegetables and throw them in the compost bin. She loves it. She likes to whisk things, she makes pancake batter. She pounds things in the mortar and pestle. She dances along when you chop quickly. It’s a lot of fun.

EL: And she’s too young to be rebelling.

JKLA: Have you met her parents? She’s got some opinions, and she’s not afraid to express them.

EL: I’m shocked, because her parents don’t have strong opinions about anything.

JKLA: Well, my mom always told me growing up that she someday wished that I had a kid just like me so that I could see how difficult it was growing up with someone who just wants to argue everything.

EL: Your mother told me and my wife, who is your agent, your literary agent, at your book party, we said, “Isn’t it great what’s happened to your son?” And she said, “And so surprising.”

JKLA: Yeah, that sounds like my mom.

EL: And so AIicia, does she have a fairly adventurous palette? Like, how have you gone about introducing stuff to her?

JKLA: She does. We use a method called baby-led weaning, which is, essentially, as soon as she’s old enough to sit up herself, around like six months or so, sit upright, we started feeding her solid food. And essentially, just eating exactly the same food we eat. Like, a few exceptions early on, like we wouldn’t give her a whole grape, something that can fall down her throat and choke her. Part of the whole baby-led weaning process is also, it’s like a developmental process where they learn, not just about food but also sort of hand/eye coordination, they learn about making choices for themselves and all that. So, you kind of have to give the kid free rein at the table, present them with a bunch of food, let them mash it around, let them … you just have to be prepared to clean it. We have dogs, which helps but we also have a plastic mat on the floor. Certainly early on there is food everywhere.

EL: And now you’re writing a children’s book loosely based on your experiences cooking with Alicia. Tell us about that.

JKLA: So, yeah, I’m working on a children’s book. The main character in it is definitely derived from Alicia. It’s a little girl, older than Alicia, and it’s aimed at older audience, four- to seven-year-olds. But the book is really more about discovering the value of food beyond just the way it tastes. It’s essentially about a little girl who thinks pepperoni pizza is the best food in the world but she can’t really figure out why it’s the best food in the world. And she, over the course of the book, visits a bunch of families and restaurant owners, various people that have very different ideas of what the best food in the world is. And each one of them has their own reasons. For one of them it’s because it reminds her of her home country. For another it’s because she used to cook it together with her grandmother. So, various reasons why people enjoy foods and so by the end of the book the lesson she learns is that … she discovers that all along, the reason she loved pizza so much is because it’s so easy to share and it’s a food that brings all the friends around the table and is easy to have a good time around, which is what she likes doing.

EL: If you had shown Alicia my pizza book, you could have saved a lot of time, because that’s what I talk about, is that pizza is the greatest food in the world because it’s so easily shared.

JKLA: Everybody likes pizza, everybody wants a slice.

EL: Yes.

JKLA: And usually there’s enough slices to share.

EL: How did this come about? Because, I’ve never heard you, and I have known you a while, be interested in children’s books.

JKLA: I guess a lot of it was going through … before Alicia was born and then after she was born going through all of my old books and seeing what books moved me and what effect books I read as a little child had on my life. I think it’s actually probably an interesting exercise for you or anybody to just go back and look at all of … if you’ve saved them or if you remember the titles just to go back and take a look at all of your old kids’ book and try and figure out what parts of your personality or parts of the way you lead your life or your morality or any of those things, how much of them are linked to media you consumed as a child. It was a surprisingly large amount for me, and it just seemed like this would be a really nice thing to do for my kid, 10 years from now, or when she has her own kid for her to be able to say this is the book that your grandfather wrote for me, and I’m reading it to you.

I wanna have a good legacy and I wanna add joy to the world, so this seemed like a way that I could do it, in a way that was both very personal to me but also could be shared. I just like a challenge and this is something I’ve never done before. I can tell you, writing a kids’ book is not easy. In a way, it’s even more difficult than writing The Food Lab was, and I’m working on a sequel to The Food Lab now, so it’s, I think, more difficult than that.

EL: Yeah, because every word counts, right?

JKLA: Well, yeah, that’s a lot of it. Every word counts. When I was writing the first document, the first draft of it, and you have to … I’m collaborating with a wonderful illustrator, Gianna Ruggiero, and she’s great, but you have to be able to communicate ideas with your illustrator and with your editors. So, I found that writing a draft of a kid’s story is actually more similar to writing, like a movie storyboard or a screenplay than it is to writing a book.

And the other real difficult part is finding the voice for a kid’s book. My Food Lab voice is one that is pretty natural to me and I kind of just found it and stuck with it. Obviously, finding a voice in any kind of writing is really hard, and I think it’s what probably writers struggle with the most: how do you make your writing sound you and how do you make it sound unique? ‘Cause I want it to be a book that adults can enjoy but children will also enjoy, so figuring out how to make jokes that work on two levels, figuring out what kind of language the children are gonna use, how the adults are gonna talk to them. It’s a lot of choices to be made. When you read a good children’s book it just seems natural, but guaranteed that the author of any good children’s books spent hours and hours, days, weeks of time just refining those few words that are in there until it captured the spirit correctly.

EL: I used to talk to a friend of mine that passed away, unfortunately, a few years ago, Jeff Moss, who wrote Rubber Duckie, and he talked about being in the writers’ room at Sesame Street and how their first criteria for a song or a skit that worked was, did they crack each other up.

JKLA: Yes. Yeah. I was just singing Rubber Duckie to Alicia in the bath last night. In fact, I sing it to her almost every night, she loves it. That’s my basic rule, is that the writing and the humor can’t be stupid, ’cause I feel like a lot of stuff for kids is just sort of dumber versions of things for adults and I find it underestimates the intellect of kids, underestimates the emotional capacity of kids, and I think if something is dumb to you, it’s probably gonna be dumb to kids, as well. You know, outside of maybe scatological humor, which is funny to kids. Which is definitely dumb but funny to kids, also funny to some adults, I guess, but yeah, that’s also sort of my criteria, is like, if I read this and it sounds dumb or it sounds like I’m talking down to someone, then it has to change.

EL: Give me your top three children’s books that you remember just devouring when you were a kid.

JKLA: There’s a couple in Japanese that I don’t think you’d be familiar with, because I don’t think even Japanese people are that familiar with, but a lot of them has to come down to do with the illustration. So, there’s this one Japanese book that is a kind of weird story about a little fish that’s looking for his mom but for some reason the fish is kind of floating in a jungle instead of in the ocean. He goes around and meets various characters who say they’re gonna eat him and then he says, no, I’m just looking for my mother, and they’re like, okay, well, we’ll help you find your mother but secretly they’re thinking, oh, we’ll just eat him and his mother. At the end of the book they find the mother in a fish tank and all of the animals go and … like, sitting in the middle of a field and all the animals go and knock the fish tank over and break it. And then the mother becomes one of these weird flying fish, too, and then she says, “Hey, don’t eat me, I was just about to go home and make some soup. Why don’t y’all come over and have soup instead?” And then they all just hang out and eat soup.

Let’s see. I guess if we want real popular ones that I think have stood the test of time and meant a lot to me, Harold and the Purple Crayon is one of those, that I think is simple but incredibly imaginative and really, I think, talks to kids in ways they understand, but is not dumb.

EL: Are you a Goodnight Moon fan?

JKLA: Oh, yeah, absolutely. So, both Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny, same author. And you know what I loved about those books was that they weren’t really related story-wise, but there are elements from one book that appear in the other. So, like, in Goodnight Moon, on the background you could see there’s a painting of the mother rabbit dressed up as a fisherman. It’s one of the pages from Runaway Bunny, like the mother rabbit dressing as a fisherman and fishing for her little kid. And that’s just a painting in the back of the wall of the room in Goodnight Moon, and I always thought that was awesome as a little kid. It’s like what people love about the Marvel cinematic universe, like this crossover stuff where you get to see references from one thing and another.

So, that kind of stuff, we’re not aping specific ideas and story points or anything like that, but definitely aping general ideas. Like, the idea of having to flip back and forth through pages and search for things. So, for instance, in this book, our plan right now is that the very opening page, when you first open the cover of the book that the inside of the page is going to be an illustration of Pepo’s, that’s the name of the main character by the way, Pepo, of her pantry. And at the start of the book it contains just ingredients for making pepperoni pizza. And then by the end of the book, as she goes around and cooks with seven different families, her pantry fills up with objects that you saw from those people’s kitchens in the book. So, at the end of the book there’s like 20 different things inside that pantry, and I just imagine it’ll be a lot of fun. For me, it would have been a lot of fun to look at each one of those things and go back through the book and try and find what page it was on and what they were using it for. So, little things like that. We also have a little nod to Calvin and Hobbes, like she has a little stuffed animal dog named Nugget that she carries around everywhere but it kind of comes to life sometimes and eats pizza with her, helps her cook, things like that. Sometimes there needs to be things like that. I don’t know, I guess it’s a lot more sort of like little things that stuck with me that I’m trying to incorporate in the interest of making it more interesting, you know. Like a good kid’s book has to be, I think, more than just a good story.

EL: Yeah, for sure.

JKLA: More than just good illustration, there has to be a level like sort of interactivity with it, you know, whether it’s finding pictures or making noises or looking for details in the illustration, that’s the kind of stuff that I think makes a good kid’s book fun, is that you can look at each page and continue … You know, I guess it’s like a good adult novel or a good album, you know, it’s like, it’s the kind of thing where you can listen to it over and over and every time you pick up something new or you can listen to it with a different idea from the start and try and, you know, try and trace an element through a song, something like that, you know, good music, good writing, good kids’ books, it’s I think a lot of it, it’s all sort of very similar goals, it’s just the means that you use to get there that’s different.

EL: So you’re working on, not just the kids’ book, but a second volume of Food Lab?

JKLA: Yeah. Well, I think we’re not going to call it Food Lab, but yeah, but essentially a follow-up to you know, similar size, similar scope, similar sort of treatment as the first one.

EL: And what’s going to be different and what is your continuity line that’s going to go throughout the book?

JKLA: Well, so the first book was largely about American cuisine and very specifically it was about sort of big project dishes and the idea behind that when I started working on the first book was that you know, if I can interest someone in meatloaf and show them all of the ins … You know meatloaf is actually relatively, it can be a relatively complicated dish and there’s a lot of stuff sort of going on in there, a lot of sort of science lessons to learn, you know, similar with like mac and cheese, there’s a lot of stuff going on in there that, once you learn it, you know, like, how to cook pasta properly, how to make a cheese sauce, why cheese sauces break, how a roux is different from like an egg thickened sauce, etc., etc. And those are all lessons I think are valuable to learn when cooking. So the idea with the first book is that I would take the sort of totem American dishes and dissect them in every possible way with the idea of really teaching people lessons in food science, as opposed to just giving them recipes that are actually going to be super useful in their everyday cooking.

You know, ’cause if you look through The Food Lab, you’ll find that it’s not, it’s not a book for someone who wants to cook for their family on a weeknight. You know, there’s some of that in there but it’s not really. So the new book is much more of a focus on how I actually cook at home, so it’ll be a much less American-centric book, so techniques from all around the world, ingredients from all around the world and essentially breaking down those techniques and ingredients and showing everyday home cooks how they can use the knowledge that everybody from around the world has collected over millennia to make their everyday cooking easier and more flavorful and more efficient. So, you can really think of it more as a sort of collection of strategies for how to make your … For easy things you can do to make your everyday cooking better.

EL: But I assume it’s going to require the same amount of obsessive research and testing that the more complicated recipes take?

JKLA: Well, yes. I mean, as your wife, my agent, could tell you, I am not very good at keeping writing deadlines and it’s usually because I’m testing more recipes! So, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I’ve been working on this testing recipes and photographing stuff and writing for … I mean, essentially since the first one came out, so whatever that is, three years? Something like that. And my goal is to have it wrapped up and sent to the publisher by the end of the year. We’ll see if I actually get there.

EL: That’s good. Your goal is to have it-

JKLA: The children’s book is actually due at the end of this week, which is frightening, but.

EL: And you have the recipes that you’re going to write for my Serious Eats memoir too! You got a lot on your plate, dude!

JKLA: Oh yeah. And a restaurant, I got a restaurant now-

EL: And you have a restaurant, which you know, which we should talk about just for a second! You’ve just experienced the hell that is opening a restaurant.

JKLA: Yeah. I don’t know why I put myself through it! I don’t want that to come out the wrong way, like I am super passionate about the restaurant and I think … Especially with all the people working there and I think you know, I think what we’re doing is really great and it’s … you know, the most rewarding part of the restaurant is knowing that you’re helping these 50 employees earn a living and all of your guests have a good time, that’s I think … Anybody who doesn’t feel that way, shouldn’t be in hospitality.

But, yeah, you know, the restaurant wasn’t something I was really planning or thinking about, you know, we had a baby and then I was a stay-at-home parent, you know, still am most of the time and even though that takes a lot of time, you know, I did seem to have like a bit of free time on my hands, just ’cause babies nap and all that kind of stuff, so it was like, you know, and I consulted for restaurants in the past. Most recently before that was you know at Harlem Shake in New York, where I did a bunch of consulting, you know, basically designed their kitchen and did their whole menu and trained the staff. And that didn’t take that long to do-

EL: Right.

JKLA: And it didn’t require that much input after it was opened. And so this one was like … It’s a sausage hall that serves beer, you know, well really it’s a beer hall that serves sausage, it’s like, “Okay, that won’t be too difficult, like I’ll find some good suppliers, we’ll put together a nice, simple menu, people are mainly going to be going there to drink, the food will be like a thing on the side, whatever, it should be pretty easy.

And then, once my name got attached to it, that’s when … I mean, I guess in the three years time, between I worked with Harlem Shake and I started work with Wursthall, my book had come out and so you know, I guess people just knew my name a little more and so once it came out that my name was attached with this restaurant, Wursthall, then the media started covering it and it kind of just grew out of my control and I quickly realized you know what? We’re not opening a beer hall that just serves sausages on the side, like, we’re opening a restaurant and like my reputation is going to ride on this, so it better be good!

EL: Yeah, and we should say it’s called, “Wursthall,” or-

JKLA: Yeah. Wursthall.

EL: Wursthall-

JKLA: W-U-R-S-T.

EL: In San Mateo, and it’s probably a five minute drive from your house?

JKLA: Yeah. Yeah. It’s like a mile from my house, 15 minute bike ride, five minute drive, yeah.

EL: What surprised you the most about the process?

JKLA: There weren’t that many surprises because you know, I’ve worked in restaurants, I’ve helped other chefs open restaurants, like I know how these things kind of go and I know how a kitchen is organized and run, so, there weren’t any surprises in that regard but you know, that’s taking into account the fact that when you’re opening a restaurant, you should be prepared for surprises because, especially in an older building, you never know what kind of infrastructure problems are going to be in place, you never know what kind of personnel problems are going to be in place in a new market, you don’t know how your menu’s going to resonate with guests at the beginning, you know, but those all the kinds of surprises that, as long as you account for them in your timeline and your budget and in your planning, shouldn’t cause any major headaches. You know, I mean, I’m putting that maybe too lightly, you know, restaurants, every day is a major headache. There’s always something going wrong but you kind of know that going into the game so in that sense it wasn’t as surprising.

What really surprised me was, and probably it shouldn’t have, but really surprised me, was the amount of hype we got pre-opening and you know, obviously, this is a good problem to have but it’s also sort of a nerve-wracking one that people have all these expectations of you before, you know, months before you’re even open. And the answer is, of course, you don’t live up to their expectations, every single person’s expectations. And so I think that was one of the lessons I’ve learned pretty quickly, is that you know, we do a ton of like customer feedback, we talk to people, when we were first opening, we did you know, survey forms at every table, get a gauge on what people think, but at some point, you have to realize that your restaurant is your restaurant and it’s not a restaurant that’s run on a committee of your guests.

And so, you know, you have to at some point say, “I know what my idea of good food is, I am working with my staff to try and put out the best possible version of good food I have in my head.” There are going to be people who have a very different idea of what’s good and what’s not of … And at some point you just have to say, “This is my food, I’m going to stand by it, if you don’t like it, you’re perfectly entitled to your opinion and frankly, I want to hear your opinion on what you don’t like about it,” but you know, it’s really the chef and the employees who say what’s being served at a restaurant and not the customers and that’s a lesson I think is pretty important to learn. You know, if you have confidence in yourself, you kind of have to stick with your guns even if a lot of people are saying they don’t like a specific thing.

EL: Yeah, you know, it’s funny. One of the lessons that Danny Meyer tries to teach in his book is-

JKLA: A book actually which I bought a copy of that book for every single management staff at our restaurant.

EL: Yeah you’d think he would say, “Oh, the customer is always right,” but he actually says almost exactly what you say, which is that the idea is if you make all of the people who work in the restaurant happy by doing what they do and asking them to do everything that you’re willing to do, that’s the most important ingredient in making a successful restaurant.

JKLA: Definitely. That idea is something you can feel any time you walk into a Danny Meyer restaurant, whether it’s you know, high end like Mercy Park or a chain like Shake Shack, the idea that the employees all seem to enjoy working there and they all seem to be empowered to do the best job they can, you know, it gets them to take pride in their work and it helps ensure consistency and quality of the product they’re serving. But I think, most importantly, it gives you that feeling of hospitality, which is why I go out to a restaurant, you know, I’m a pretty good cook, I can cook good food at home, obviously there are plenty of restaurants where they cook different and better things than I can cook at home, but the main reason I go out to eat is because I want to be treated well and I want to feel like I’m welcome somewhere and you know, to me bad service can ruin the best food in the world. But I can put up with mediocre food if the service is great and I feel like I’m comfortable and at home. So, yeah, for me, definitely, and I think this is the sense that you get from all of Danny Meyer’s restaurants, really that hospitality is the most important thing in a restaurant.

EL: If you think about our time together at Serious Eats, that’s really what I tried to do at Serious Eats, was to provide a place where people really enjoyed working together and then I just as you well know, I just turned you all loose and there’s a lot to be said for that! Yeah.

JKLA: Which is why you were my favorite boss ever! But yeah, it’s exactly like what you do at Serious Eats, I think, you know, your job, as I’ve always understood it, was to find smart people and then give them the means to execute their ideas. Smart, passionate people.

EL: Yes.

JKLA: And that’s very much what we try and do at the restaurant. You know, obviously, like consistency and certain protocols are important in a restaurant, ’cause it has to run efficiently, it has to run at cost, all those things, but you know, the best employees we have at the restaurant are the people who are super passionate about cooking, you know, regardless of their experience in professional kitchens. Actually you know, we have a line cook who had zero professional cooking experience, we have a guy who’s now our sous chef actually, who had zero professional cooking experience before he came and started working for us. But these are both guys who are extremely passionate about cooking, did a ton of cooking on their own, like had you know, were following the concept, have read Food Lab, sort of have a similar philosophy to cooking as I do. You know, I would say you can teach people skills, but you can’t teach people to give a shit. And so, when we’re finding employees, especially in the kitchen, you know, the most important thing for us is just find people who really care.

EL: Yeah.

JKLA: And you can teach them everything else.

EL: There are going to be two more Wursthalls, right?

JKLA: We are well along in negotiations for a couple of new locations that we’re planning on opening next year. Almost for sure, one of them, down in San Jose, but yeah, potentially two new locations by the end of next year. Which is sort of the plan from the start was that you know, the restaurant concept was one that we wanted-

JKLA: Was that this … the restaurant concept was one that we wanted to make sure was something that could be replicated and brought to other cities.

EL: Got it.

JKLA: We’re planning a very sort of slow, like you’re not gonna find 500 Wursthalls across the US in the next five years. We want all of our training to take place in the main restaurant, we want to make sure that every chef running the other restaurants has spent time working in the original and is qualified, all those things.

EL: Got it. We know that there are lots of sausages on the menu, but there are also lots of pretzels on the menu, which I’m a little annoyed that you have not sent me any of the pretzels.

JKLA: Well, that’s one of the things about pretzels, similar to bagels they have a halflife … whatever it was, I think you called it the Heisenberg and Bagelberg uncertainty, Heisenbagel uncertainty principle, something like that, where you can’t accurately compare two bagels to each other because by the act of bringing one to the location of another the first one has already entered a state where it can’t be fairly tasted anymore. Similar to … pretzels and bagels are actually … kinda like blood brothers as far as baked good go. They’re both a boiled then baked dough and both have a sort of dense interior with a really crispy, thin crust. But yeah, pretzels don’t travel well so I wouldn’t be able to send them to you, but any time you come out to San Mateo, you are welcome to come have our pretzels. We actually now … For a long time we were working with a bakery called Backhaus, at which I’m actually also a partner, and we’re opening a brick-and-mortar bakery also in San Mateo.

EL: Yeah, I don’t think you have enough to do, Kenji. I think you need more projects.

JKLA: Well this one I’m more of a silent partner. I just offer advice. It’s really Anna and Robert Moser, they’re the husband and wife, Anna’s the baker, Robert does all the business side. They really run everything, I’m just sort of a … I gave them some money to help and I give them advice whenever they ask for it, but I’m not … it’s by no means my project at all. It’s 100% theirs. We were working with them for a while, but they really want to focus on retail rather than wholesale, so we’ve been sort of transitioning out of their, some of their products, so we found a great new pretzel supplier as well based up in San Francisco called Pretzelina. But either one of these, Pretzelina and Backhaus, they both make amazing pretzels, so if you ever want to come to San Mateo, I am sure I can get you your fill of great pretzels.

EL: All right, that’s good. That’s good and so what are the most popular items on the menu?

JKLA: The classic bratwurst is our most popular item, but I think it’s just because it’s the default. People who don’t want to try and figure out what some of the other types of sausages are or who just want to try our baseline, they come for the bratwurst. That’s sort of … the basic sausage plate is our most popular thing. My favorite things on the menu, which I think is a better answer, and also some of our more popular stuff, the deviled eggs we do I think are pretty fantastic.

EL: Oh, I love a good deviled egg, Kenji.

JKLA: Largely influenced by the deviled eggs that April Bloomfield used to do at The Spotted Pig.

EL: Sure.

JKLA: Super vinegary, super mustardy and then we serve ours with a lot of olive oil, aleppo chiles, and dill and pickled mustard seeds. Another dish we recently started just about a few weeks ago, we do a … we call it cacio e pepe spaetzle, so the idea is that pan-fried spaetzle is great because it’s crispy and it kind of puffs up and it gets golden brown and crispy, but if you try and mix sort of a creamy sauce with it, like you would for a traditional cacio e pepe, that crispiness kind of goes away and it ultimately deflates and it doesn’t look very great, so what we do is we make spaetzle where we flavor the batter with black pepper, and then we cook it and we pan-fry it in brown butter until it’s nice and crispy. Cacio e pepe, by the way, in case anybody is unaware, is a classic Roman dish of pasta with pecorino Romano and black pepper and essentially that’s it. The cheese sauce kind of emulsifies with pasta water. It’s sort of quick and easy Roman mac and cheese, so we wanted to get those flavors into a spaetzle dish, so what we do is we make an aerated pecorino Romano sauce, so essentially we steep pecorino Romano with milk and then bind it with … then we cook it sous vide with egg yolks and butter, blend it all together and then pipe it out with a whipped cream dispenser so it comes out almost the texture of hollandaise, but kind of lighter and airier so it’s essentially this crispy spaetzle with this aerated pecorino and black pepper sauce and then a bunch of shards of pecorino crisps on top to kind of reinforce that flavor but also give it some more texture. You kind of spoon it together as you eat it so all the spaetzle stays nice and crispy but you get that really nice cheese and black pepper flavor in each bite. That I would say is probably my new favorite dish on the menu.

EL: That sounds insanely delicious, but it’s definitely do not try this at home.

JKLA: No. Restaurant cooking and home cooking is different. It’s different. We just introduced a BLT on the menu also and I wrote a BLT manifesto and made a video for Serious Eats a couple years ago, and this was the craziest experience to me that … so the BLT we serve at Wursthall doesn’t precisely follow that BLT manifesto but the reason is because what we do is we cook slab bacon 48 hours sous vide with rosemary garlic and black pepper until it’s like braised pork belly, it’s super melting and tender, and then we slice it and we sear it and that’s the bacon in our BLT sandwich. So as you eat the sandwich, rather than strips of bacon that are crunchy or kind of pull out the way traditional bacon does, the bacon kind of all just melts and dissolves into the tomato and lettuce, which I think is really great. It’s still primarily a tomato sandwich, it’s just seasoned with bacon, which is sort of my BLT philosophy.

EL: Yeah, and my BLT philosophy as well.

JKLA: I couldn’t believe the amount of … the amount of backlash I got from Twitter of people who saw when I posted that picture of the BLT we serve at Wursthall who are like, “This doesn’t follow your BLT manifesto precisely, I’m not gonna eat it,” or, “That’s not a BLT.” It’s like, dude, I wrote the BLT manifesto, this is my restaurant. You can’t use my own words to tell me that what I’m serving is not the thing that I meant to serve.

EL: So just look at what you have wrought. Look at what we wrote together.

JKLA: It is. It’s like what kind of … When my first book came out and even with the column, you could see there is a certain type of sort of internet personality. It generally tends to be sort of younger males who like to read what I wrote and then use it to put other people down or to pretend that they’re some kind of authority and that everyone else is wrong, and it’s just … it bugs me so much. I hear stories from people saying, “Yeah, someone read your article and then they trashed what I was cooking.” That’s not at all what The Food LabM/em> was about or what Serious Eats was about.

EL: No.

JKLA: But I see that myself when I do something like a BLT that’s not exactly like what I wrote on Serious Eats, mainly because it would be impractical to do for home cook and we’re a restaurant, not a home kitchen. It’s like … there are definitely … Yeah, I do get that sense of I’ve created quite a few monsters here.

EL: See the trouble is you wrote the constitution and now there are people that are strict constructionists.

JKLA: Right, and didn’t realize that I wrote that entire constitution like pretty much tongue in cheek the whole time. Make your BLT however you want to make it. I don’t really care how you make your BLT. This is how I make my BLT. If that’s what you like, like it. We do on Serious Eats and in The Food Lab in the book make a lot of over-the-top statements. I think that most of the audience understands that when we say, “This is the best X” or “This is the only way to do X,” that it’s tongue in cheek and that it’s all sort of part of the humor of the site, but some people don’t, unfortunately.

EL: No, exactly. It’s like, remember the people who used to say, “How come you call yourself Serious Eats and you write about hot dogs and BLTs, it’s like …

JKLA: Yeah, how serious is that?

EL: You ever heard of irony? So why German food? I have to say, you cooked in Italian restaurants, you’ve cooked in all kinds of restaurants, in sushi restaurants, you started in a Mongolian barbecue restaurant.

JKLA: To be fair, we’re not really a German restaurant. We have some nods to German cuisine and definitely we have nods to German beer halls and beer gardens in terms of the décor and feel of the restaurant, but we’re very much a California restaurant, so we have sausages and stuff on the menu, but we also ferment local produce year-round and use that kind of stuff on our pickle plates, things that you would never find in Germany.

We have a very high … my wife, and Alicia and I, we took a trip sort of around Bavaria and Austria for a few weeks when Alicia was three months old. This was like a good nine months before Wursthall opened and what you find is that a lot of the food in Germany, other … there’s a lot of good modern food, but a lot of the classic food in Germany is very brown and white. Brown and white food is not really something that flies in California, especially because we were trying to be a very sort of modern and local beer hall so our menu really places a lot more emphasis on local produce and lighter things while still giving some nods to more traditional beer hall cuisine. We have sausages but they come from all over the world. We have spaetzle, but it’s served in an Italian-style dish with some sort of modern twists, so it’s only … it’s not really fair to call it a German restaurant. It is only very loosely … it’s a California restaurant with some German influence, I would say.

EL: Next week, Kenji and I will be joined by Serious Eats current managing culinary director, Daniel Gritzer.

JKLA: It’s always fun to talk to you, Ed.

EL: You say to that to all the guys.

This post may contain links to Amazon or other partners; your purchases via these links can benefit Serious Eats. Read more about our affiliate linking policy.

amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "fresh17-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "cookware"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "b45319dac495d29e17b5eff312392025"; Source link

[titheguerrero]

Dander Still Up. Drowning in Great Dismal Swamp. Film at Eleven.

Maybe this is the last in my series of dander-raising essays, as recent national and world events have most definitely left so many of us with a raging case of TDS. (Trump Derangement Syndrome, look it up it's a thing). So many damned browser tabs open. So little time. Or maybe not. Who knows. Where are all these suicides coming from? My editor keeps telling me, "don't let it make you paralytic." Hey, I'm trying. Just sensing a kind of coalescence in all the corruption our bloggers keep writing about. How do we even differentiate these activities across so many sectors of society. We were going to see our swamp drained. He promised. But instead there's just this big brand new bodacious cesspool. There it is in all the revolving-door sectors. Federal government. Private sector. Health care non-profits and even academia. Just read back over recent weeks and months of this, your favorite blog. The coalescence of corruption is certainly made easier by our enjoyment of a remarkable and possibly quite barmy Confabulator-in-Chief. He's just sort of paved the way for what one pundit recently characterized as a sort of race-to-the-bottom. No corruption (cone of silence? nifty office furniture? wipe our environmental health? Big Pharma gets another bye?) is too small. Or, of course, too large. None of this is terribly new, just the way it's all melded into what the cancer biologists call a syncytium. There are no winners and losers in all this. Just a lot of organelles swimming around and causing havoc at our expense. Just a bunch of top-level narcissists and then, under them, a phalanx of careerist stronzi streaming out of academic backwaters and think tanks to grab their fifteen minutes of ... what? Surely not fame, unless you're looking for a spot on an SNL cold open. Microphone time maybe? Let's call out a few of them. Fifteen minutes, max, by the way. The turn-over in government, especially, in the federal executive, is many times that of any previous administration. Everybody seems to be trying to find their own inner Scaramucci. For now, it seems, it's just all one great big scandal. Adam Serwer in The Atlantic: "there is only one scandal." While the Chest Thumper-in-Chief runs around doing what he does best--sullying the western world and laying down cover for his army of swampy miscreants--the careerists continue to run up a debt whose bill will surely come true. Of course by then, so many of them will have cashed out. Guess who'll be left to pay the tab. You, me, our sickest, our poorest, and Mother Earth. In the private sector it may take years for the ins and the outs to get in and then back out. But of late in both Big Pharma and in Health IT, both the revolving door and the Invasion of the Body Snatchers (aka baleful effect of activist investors and hedge funds) have taken their toll and we pick up the pace. Most recent casualty: Bush family scion and alleged wife-beater Jonathan B, thrown out of possibly the most innovative, but not quite profitable enough, athenahealth EHR company he once founded. Offed just now by the Elliott organization, which is headed up in turn by ultra-right political donor Peter Singer. (Here and here and pretty much everywhere--don't get stuck in his cross-hairs.) Ah, yes, these are the glory days for the Big Families. Donorship gets you a whole party of your own. The Prince-DeVos family, the Koch family, the Uihlein family, the Mercer family. And Las Vegas Gambling Tycoon Sheldon Adelson, who almost single-handedly handed Binyamin Netanyahu an unearned win in Jerusalem. Their common goal: effacement of government, Ron Reagan's great "problem child," in favor of its replacement the Great Dismal Swamp.  (In fact much of the real GDS, out of North Carolina, was actually bought up by Betsy DeVos's brother Erik to train Blackwater mercenaries.)  So now, on to the Great Dismal Swamp of outsourced everything. Outsourcing, along with the revolving door and the Anechoic Effect, these form the inner dynamic, the secret history of what's happening now. Outsource security. Outsource VA health care. (See my earlier blog on a secretary's attempt to resist that.) Outsource public education. Outsource, or at least deregulate, clinical trials of unproven drugs. Privatize, don't shade your eyes (apologies to Tom Lehrer). (Note that in the course of all this privatizing the common weal, these Big Dogs not infrequently can turn on each other. Singer turns on Bush. Koch the Elder turns on Koch the Younger. The dollar is king and the beat goes on and Throw Momma From the Train.) Other major features of this secret history:

The Scorching of the Earth. Both literally (health consequences of climate change), and figuratively: the flaming rhetoric of the careerists. The most glaring recent example, albeit outside of our health purview, White House National Trade Council Director and temporary-in-from-the-cold academic Peter Navarro, awarding "a special place in hell" to Canada.  (Canada?!?) Why? Because it dared to cross his new boss. Cross the boss, thump the chest. Ten points for the thumper, zero points for the country. We'll learn later this year, and again in 2020, whether there's enough of the vaunted "base" left to be snookered by all this guff. The chest-thumpers may discover a special place in hell meted out to folks closer to home.

The Swamp-Ooze of the Careerists. Navarro's one high placed example. Another newly high-placed with a more direct impact on health care, and also flaming the air waves, is National Economic Council Director and former CNBC correspondent Larry Kudlow. In the recent presidential travels Kudlow did not speak cosmologically of heaven and hell, but only politically. He called Canada's measured response "betrayal." On health insurance, he's agin it. It kills jobs, per Mr. Kudlow. And he ought to know how things really work, right? In 2007 he famously predicted the continued success of an earlier deregulatory GOP economic policy suite in that once-great organ National Review. William Buckley turned over in his grave. The headline read: "Bush Boom Continues." The following tag line: "you can't call it a recession." (Emphasis his.) The date: December 10, 2007. (Despite which, get well quick Larry. Maybe find a less stressful job would help.)

Health and the Environment. Ah, yes, and in environmental health we have Scott Pruitt heeding HMV while lining his own pockets and lobbying for his wife's Chick-fil-A franchise (honest I can't make this stuff up), all the while dumbing down any expertise on health. This dumbing down and anti-science motif pervades the Great Dismal Swamp. Never before has there been such a dearth of scientific, pedagogical, or health expertise in any of the departments that so direly need those capabilities. Interestingly, the small-bore corruption of these characters seems more prominent in the upper, Pruitt-like, echelons than in the Small Fry. Or are we just not hearing about the little guys?

Lesser Careerists. You can't have a syncytium without both big and little organelles. The little guys are actually among the more damaging, as they tend to be true believers with claimed expertise that goes poof when examined closely. Among the most famously wrong-minded recent ones we have the Press Secretary herself, Ms. Sanders, who from the depths of her health policy experience pronounced last fall that “I can’t think of anything worse than having the government be more involved in your health care instead of less involved.” Oh, Miss Sarah, I can. Even more peculiar is the role of the rather more obscure Ms. Katy Talento, of the White House Domestic Policy Council. She gets to act as conduit and house pundit for the new HHS secretary Alex Azar. It's fascinating. In several easily-reached venues she's described, by self or others, as "an epidemiologist." Harvard's master of science (not MPH) degree in epidemiology and public health can be obtained, as she did, in something between three and twelve months. Not exactly a board certification. Then she went on to build her career in ideological rightist causes and organizations, including anti-abortion campaigns and one notable set of pronouncements on the supposed link of birth control to miscarriage. Came the time for Azar to prep his new boss on last month's Big Speech on reducing drug costs, Talento broadcast the news that "no ox would be gored." Said she, "This is a fearless president and he doesn't know or care why things have always been done. It's not like your typical Republican authorizing committee that protects this model that they helped write for decades...." Wait, one little thing. It didn't happen. The big play available, as I said in a previous post, would've been having Medicare bargain for prices. Instead--and clearly Azar could've tried and failed to get this--the Caregiver-in-Chief declared that drug prices in the US should come down by having other countries pay more. What so strange about this is not merely the absurdity of such a statement, coming from a former Pfizer top exec. It's the fact that here's a lower-level careerist who went straight into RNC speech writing and working for a right wing southern Republican (Tillis, NC), Hold the phone. Among all the young staffers willing to sell their souls to get the Big Show on their CVs--don't they know it's a shabby little show?--what about the wonderful lady who dissed the ailing John McCain as inessential (he's just now incredibly essential), because, after all, he's going to die soon? Out the door she went, but of course her Republican friends got her a soft landing. Her name is Kelly Sadler, a real comer. Or goner.

The Rise of the Druggists. Last but not least, part of the secret history that, now I see it, has really got the dander way up, is how in health care and health policy, Pharma's now fully the tail-that-wagged-the-dog. CVS is moving into health care--see Dr. Poses's recent posting on just how well that organization understands their responsibilities. Actually having pharmaceutical and pharmacy folks elbowing out health care professionals who understand professionalism, it's not a new thing. Philadelphia Big Donor Leonard Abramson founded U.S. Healthcare and made a mint when he discovered how easy it was to make Managed Care actually Denied Care, then, with this proof-of-concept, cashing out and selling to Aetna. That goes way back. More recently, though, the pace of They Come at Night has picked up, viz. the firing of David Shulkin MD at the VA and the hiring of Alex Azar at HHS. These clearly result from both the privatization motive and the Pharma tail wagging the dog. At least two of the three branches of the federal government understand the business model of Pharma. They don't come anywhere near understanding the professional ethics of doctors--even while relying on their personal physicians to exercise such ethics.

Business ethics in medicine, as practiced by Pharma, have been laid out in many, many places in this blog. I and others have laid the blame for a big chunk of the opiate crisis at the door of Purdue pharma and the Sackler family. I regret to remind that the early Sacklers were physicians. But they were first and foremost business folk, possessed of a truly novel business model, which may be called outright dissimulation. (For a fascinating and harrowing description of one high-functioning Ivy-League opiate addict's experiences at Yale, with all its Sackler money and Oxy pills traded on the New Haven Green, see this Guardian piece.) Actually, I've talked to a lot of pharma execs and they're often quite ethical and responsible. They have their hands full fighting off the PBM companies. They get singled out for their K Street spending, but many of them actually have rather low budgets for that, the recent Novartis scandal notwithstanding. Other execs blush at this Novartis nonsense and want nothing to do with it. I say all this mainly to point out some dreadful outliers. It's not just the brand name drug makers, either. Teva, the Israeli generics giant, is allegedly a real problem. As I write this, good old Ron Wilson, the Wisconsin Republican who just keeps on giving his gifts, is blocking his Ranking Member Claire McCaskill from obtaining information Teva's contributions to the opioid crsis. He's saying leave it to the courts.

OK, as I just hinted, I agree with you. None of this recent stuff is really secret. Not even really novel. It's just coalesced like never before into into a dismal swamp. (Orwellian doublespeak: yes, we've seen the swamp drained. Of what? What was he promising to drain? Yes, drained, if that meant getting rid of people ("Deep State"?) who know stuff. So people who don't know stuff can get on with the business of ripping us off.) Hence in my current rant I just wanted to point to those commonalities that are, right about now, more egregious than ever. Honestly, they are. When the history is written, it will prove me right. Oh, wait, Alexander Hamilton wrote it already, hundreds of years ago.

When a man unprincipled in private life desperate in his fortune, bold in his temper, possessed of considerable talents, having the advantage of military habits—despotic in his ordinary demeanour—known to have scoffed in private at the principles of liberty—when such a man is seen to mount the hobby horse of popularity—to join in the cry of danger to liberty—to take every opportunity of embarrassing the General Government & bringing it under suspicion—to flatter and fall in with all the non sense of the zealots of the day—It may justly be suspected that his object is to throw things into confusion that he may “ride the storm and direct the whirlwind.”

Article source:Health Care Renewal

[thedailychangejar-blog]

25 Ways to Save Money Everyday (Part 4)

This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a commission or other benefit at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting The Daily Change Jar.

Welcome to the fourth installment of the "25 Ways to Save Money Everyday" series!

In case you missed them, part 1, part 2, and part 3 can be found here.

1. Make your own cleaning supplies

Baking soda and vinegar can clean just about anything! This can be as simple as using vinegar or using essential oils. It both benefits your wallet and your health!

2. Make your own gifts

You don't even have to be "crafty" to make your own gifts, especially if you have kids! Grandparents generally LOVE to get homemade gifts from their grandkids. It can be as simple as a picture of the kids and their handprints in a frame. I did this one year with my two younger kids and my parents and grandparents LOVED it! This doesn't apply to just Christmas either. Think Father's Day, Mother's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving!

3. Make simple and cheap meals

When you are meal planning, take into account your budget. If you are running low on your grocery budget, make sure you have a couple cheap and easy go-to meals. There are a couple go-to meals that we have in our meal planning rotation that are cheap and feed everyone. Mac and cheese and hot dogs anyone?

4. Patch up your own jeans

My kids and my husband go through jeans like crazy! I have learned a thing or two about patching up jeans over the years. Why go out and buy a new pair if you can fix the ones you already have...if they are fixable that is. My husband always seems to rip his in the worst spots that make it next to impossible to repair.

5. Make shorts out of old jeans

When the jeans start to get too holey, or too short but fit around the waist, make them into shorts! I did this with my oldest daughter a lot, her waist never seemed to get bigger, her legs would just get longer! This doesn't just apply to girls either, this also works well for boys jeans too.

6. Use old shirts as rags

I don't know about you, but I have a TON of old t-shirts lying around. They are either ripped, too small or just never get worn. If you have some old t-shirts that aren't really wearable anymore, turn them into rags-cleaning rags, burp rags, rags for staining furniture, whatever kind of rags you might need!

7. Make your own bags

If you are the crafty type, you can get really creative with this one! I have seen some pretty cool upcycled bags on Pinterest! Bags made from old t-shirts, or from plastic bags, and even old food bags-time to get creative!

8. Balance your checkbook

Ok, this is probably the least fun topic in this list...but important! Make sure you are keeping up with your checkbook or online checking account so you don't write a check that you forget about and end up in the red. I try to avoid writing checks at all costs only because I hate having to balance my checkbook and wait for checks to clear. But, if I do write a check for something, I make sure I keep track of it!

9. Avoid using the central air or air conditioning units

I'll be honest, this one is hard for us! LOL In the summer we like to keep it really cool in the house. If you can open some windows and use some fans that will help to save on your electric bill. My husband likes to crank the A/C in the summer and it can really show in our electric bill 😔.

11. Make your own yogurt

I promise this is not as scary as it sounds! One of my kid's go to snacks or breakfasts is yogurt and granola. But when you are buying that stuff from the store is can easily add up quickly! I am amazed at how much those "fancy" yogurts cost, like $2 for 4 ounces! I can make my own at home-2 quarts (that's 64 ounces) for about the same price! It's not complicated either. It's a matter of heating and cooling the milk to certain temps, adding a "starter" and keeping it warm for about 24 hours...voila...homemade yogurt!

12. Shop at the dollar store

I used to hate going to the dollar store, honestly, it made me feel "poor". But I quickly learned it is super frugal! You might be amazed as to what you can find at the dollar store-you know where EVERYTHING is only $1! In fact our last trip there we picked up: snacks for my husband at work, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, clipboards to make chore charts, and snacks and soda for an upcoming birthday party and spent less than $20! Don't discount your local dollar stores people, they are full of frugal surprises!

13. Shop at multiple grocery stores

Depending on what is on the meal plan, we go grocery shopping every week or every other week. The only downfall with our method of grocery shopping is I feel like it can take forever! When we do our grocery shopping we tend to hit 3-4 different stores. Each local grocery store has different deals and store coupons. Our last grocery trip-for one week of groceries which included breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for a whole week for a family of 7 was less than $200! 

14. Don't be afraid to ask for help

I'm stubborn...big surprise.😜 I generally don't like to ask for help, HOWEVER, when you put it out there that you are looking for something you might be surprised at the deals you can get! For example, I was talking to a close friend of mine and mentioned that I needed a chest freezer, and she gave me one that she just had sitting around...for FREE! I looked at buying one and it would have cost around $200! You can also post in local buy/sell/trade groups that you are "ISO" or "in search of" to try and find good deals! Sometimes people are just looking to get rid of things and you can get amazing deals of even stuff for free. Just don't be that annoying person that is obviously asking for handouts.

15. Repurpose leftovers

When you are meal planning use what would be just plain leftovers for a new meal. For example this past week I made refried beans as a side, we had a lot left over, so I made bean and cheese freezer burritos for the kids for a quick meal. There are plenty of ways to repurpose leftovers, plus it's fun to get creative in the kitchen!

16. Use Swagbucks for your search engine

Who doesn't love a little extra money in their pocket? Using SwagBucks as your search engine and to complete other various tasks on earn you real money! 2500 Swagbucks equals a $25 Paypal payout! Not too shabby for doing things you already do online. And of course invite your friends and earn even more!

17. Invest small amounts

You don't need thousands of dollars to start investing. A few cents here and a couple dollars there might not seem like a lot, but it can really add up! Have you heard of micro-investing?  It is easy to start investing with your spare change with several apps on the market that do all the hard work for you, you don't have to worry about all that investing mumbo-jumbo!

18. Buy cheap dog food

I know some of you dog lovers out there are gasping at this right now! "But I love my dog(s)", yeah so do it, but they aren't helping me around the house to save money now, are they?! With 5 kids and 3 dogs (one of them is a Mastiff!) I try to save on food costs wherever I can, and that includes the dogs! Luckily none of my dogs need to be on any special diet and their cheap food seems to be just as good to them as the expensive stuff! a 52-pound bag of dog food cost me $18.99 and that lasts at least a week, not too bad in my book!

19. Join Honey! 

I just recently discovered this money-saving chrome extension, and I LOVE it! When you are shopping online it works in the background to find you money saving coupons. What's even better than saving money while you shop? Making money while you shop! You can combine Honey and Ebates while shopping online! **MIND BLOWN**

20. Use Ibotta while shopping

Ibotta is another one of those stupid simple apps to use to save /make you some extra cash! All you have to do is link you store card to the app, go shopping, take a picture of your receipt, and get cash back! Easy peasy! Want to know more, check it out here!

21. Find wellness clinics for your pets

Here's another one for the pet lovers! I'm not sure if this is a thing in other states, but in Wisconsin, there is a "wellness clinic" in the Madison area that offers vet services at very affordable prices. This works especially well if you only need a rabies shot for example and not a full exam. Also, check to see if there are vet schools in your area that might offer discounted services from students.

22. Go to the local cosmetology school

Cosmetology students need live heads to work on also! You could get your nails done, hair cut and colored, spa treatments all for steeply discounted prices! But just beware that they are still learning, so that cut and color you wanted might turn out EXACTLY like the picture.

23. Groupon! 

I f...ing LOVE Groupon! I didn't even really know what it was till fairly recently. I had heard about it but never really had given it a second thought. I am so glad that I looked into it more. Groupon is great for so many things-spas, going out to eat, singing lessons, you name it! I also love that they have physical products and online courses! You never quite know what you will find on there! You can even combine Groupon and SwagBucks to earn cash back ON TOP of your savings!

24. Build up your emergency fund

This is important for so many reasons and can save you money in the long run! If you have an emergency fund saved up-whether it's $1,000 or $5,000, it will help you to avoid using credit cards in case of an emergency-like a busted water heater.

25. Never give up!

This is probably the most important of all the tips! It can be difficult to stick with money saving tips and tricks when it feels life is against you! I can't tell you how many times we thought we were fine...then...BOOM! Something horrible and random happens! An account get hacked and we are out $900 The engine in the car goes out A tire falls off the truck Someone gets sicks and needs to be hospitalized for a few days It can be very easy to just say F-IT and give up and continue living in your old ways. But your old ways are not going to get you out of debt, or fix your money problems! Just remember to take it one day at a time and keep your head up!

Did I miss anything? What are some creative ways that you save or make a few extra bucks?

Read the full article

[benjamingarden]

How to Raise Chickens without Breaking the Bank

Would you like to know how to raise chickens on the cheap (without breaking the bank)? Well, it is possible! Fresh chicken eggs don’t have to cost you an arm and leg! Many people mistakenly think raising chickens will help them save money on groceries. They don’t realize how expensive it can be. But there are ways to save money and make raising chickens on the cheap a much more affordable project.

Here are 20 tips to help you save money. Not all of them will work for you, and some of them you might not want to do at all. But, everything you do to save money will bring down the cost of your fresh backyard eggs and make chicken keeping more affordable and practical for you.

Get Creative with the Coop

The biggest upfront expense in raising chickens is the coop and run.  There are ways to save money, however (and even have something you really like in the end).

Use recycled materials.

Instead of investing in tons of new supplies, used recycled and re-purposed materials whenever possible. Yes, this MIGHT mean you can’t build a coop exactly like you planned, but it gives you a chance to be creative as you build around the supplies you have or acquire.  For example. The first coop I built, I started with one old used window (I was saving for an art project). I bought a used play structure off Craigslist and even scored some old used shutters from a neighbor who was remodeling his house. I found some great ‘coop red’ paint in the mis-mixed section at the local paint store for $5 and I was ready to go. Yes, I had to make adjustments based on the supplies I had on hand, but in the end, the coop turned out perfect for me and was made from nearly 90% used and re-purposed supplies (and was even featured in a backyard coop calendar one year).

You don’t have to build a work of art

Downsize your expectations. A coop needs to be big enough for your flock, with enough roost space and nesting boxes. It should be wind and water proof and have ventilation. Beyond that, it’s all fluff.

Of course there are things that you will probably end up having to purchase, and maybe even new supplies at that. But with a bit of effort and creativity, you can build a functional coop for a fraction of the cost of building it with new supplies or buying a new pre-made coop (which is the most expensive option of all).

Search for Used Coops (for Cheap or even FREE)

You might not think they exist, but they do. My 2nd coop, I found on Craigslist. It was $40 and didn’t need any repairs. And that first coop I talked about above? When I moved, I offered it for free and someone came, took it apart, and dragged it home. You never know what you can find if you look.

Re-purpose something you already have

I’ve had a great coop (for a small city backyard flock) made from a large dog house. My third (and current) coop started out as a child’s playhouse before we modified it to be a chicken coop. Look around and see what you’ve already got on hand that you can use or modify to make a coop on the cheap. You might have to think outside the box a bit, but you could end up with a great (cheap or free) coop in the process.

Share Your Food

After housing expenses, feed comes next. There are things you can do to save money on feed.

Share your table scraps

If you get into the habit of sharing your table scraps and other food with your hens, it will save you from having to feed them as much chicken feed. My chickens love leftovers (and so do I, so I just give them the ones I’m about to throw out). That questionable kale that’s getting a bit stinky? The chickens will LOVE it. I keep two containers in the kitchen. One for compost (the stuff to nasty to feed to the chickens, or containing things they shouldn’t eat) and one for the chickens. Here’s a list if you’re wondering what you should AVOID feeding your flock.

Feed them egg shells

In addition to feeding your chickens table scraps, you can also feed them egg shells. This is a great way to boost the calcium in their diet without having to buy calcium. Added bonus, they’ll love the egg shells more than the calcium you have to pay for. If you want to know how to prepare your shells for them to eat, here’s how.

Let Them Feed Themselves

Here are some additional ways to save on feed costs.

Let them free range

I understand that this is a topic up for debate in the chicken world, but I’m a believer in free ranging. If you have a place to free range your flock and you’re comfortable doing it, DO IT! The chickens will love it and they will forage around and find their own food.  When they feed themselves, they will have to rely less on you to feed them. (Yes, I still feed my hens layer feed, even in the summer, but I cut down the amounts drastically when they have the ability to find food on their own).

If you don’t feel comfortable allowing your hens to roam around on their own, even letting them out for ‘recess’ when you can be there to monitor them will allow them to do some of their own grazing.

Let them dig in the garden or compost

I don’t let my hens in the garden during the growing season, but before and after is a great time to let them in. They help me aerate the soil, get rid of bugs, and clean up scraps. They also help  turn compost into dirt faster if you let them have at it.  And in the process, they’ll help you cut down on their feed bill by all the things they’re eating.

Plant a chicken garden

I do this every year and my hens LOVE it. Essentially, plant a garden full of plants and grains that chickens like to eat. Just like a garden for humans saves us money on fresh vegetables, a garden for chickens will save you money on feed. If you’re interested in growing a chicken garden, here’s more information.

Give them bugs

Okay, I’m not a big bug fan, but the chickens are. And, I help them collect bugs. Around here we have issues with stink bugs. Ugh. But, thankfully, stink bugs are big, awkward and slow (in both speed and brains), so they’re easy to catch. I collect them in a jar and take them out to feed to the chickens. If we’re having an especially horrible time with them (ie they’re EVERYWHERE), the chickens and I circle the house daily. I flick the bugs off the walls with a stick and they fight over who gets to eat them. I get less bugs and they get a belly full of good protein. Win/win.

 Change How You Feed Them

Feed them just enough

I used to have this VERY COOL big self feeding chicken feeder that I could fill up every other week. The problem was, the hens wasted a ton of food and then the rats discovered it, too. So, I switched to feeding my flock the old fashioned way by spreading feed out in the run and letting them gobble it up until it’s gone. Just enough food for the day. It saves money on feed by avoiding the waste that comes with feeding in a feeder. It also saves money because the only animals I’m feeding are my chickens.

Before I started the ‘scatter’ method, there was always wasted pellets everywhere. Now, however, they find every little piece and eat it up. (No, my birds are NOT suffering. They get plenty to eat every day.)

Use chicken pellets

With my first flock, I switched from chick starter to layer crumble and didn’t realize how much waste was happening that I could have avoided. Then one day when I went to buy more chicken feed, the feed store was out of crumble. I was forced to buy pellets. It took me about ONE DAY to realize that there was a TON less waste with pellets than with crumble. And I haven’t looked back since. (Of course now that I scatter their food instead of put it in a feeder, this wouldn’t be a problem anymore, but I still use pellets anyway).

Don’t Buy Chicks

Okay, that seems almost mean, doesn’t it? I LOVE chicks! But buying them at the feed store or via a mail order house is not the best way to SAVE MONEY.

Let your hens hatch out their own chicks

There are so many good reasons to do this, not just for savings. First, it’s a wonderful experience to watch a mama with her baby chicks. Second, you don’t have to integrate them into the flock, mama will do it for you. And yes, third, you will save money. You won’t have to buy chicks. You won’t have to set up a brooder. Mama makes life much easier. And, you get new chickens added to your flock for pretty much free.

If you don’t have a rooster, check at your local feed store for local chicken people that will sell you some fertilized eggs. Usually locally, you can get fertilized eggs just for the regular cost of a dozen eggs (unlike buying them mail order and having them cost a TON).

Buy pullets

While I love starting with chicks, buying older, teenage chickens is a better use of time and money. They will cost a bit more than a baby chick, but for the difference in how much you have to feed them to get them to this nearly grown state, you’ll save money. Plus, pullets are almost to egg laying age, so you will be saving your feed costs for animals that are laying or are nearly laying, instead of spending 6 months feeding and raising chicks. You’ll also save money on brooder costs and other costs related to having babies around (heat lamps, little waterers, their own feed, etc.)

Watch for free hens

There are always free hens to be had if you pay attention. Check Craigslist or other online local market places. People have to move or get sick or get tired of having chickens and want to get rid of them. I have a friend who exclusively collects free hens for her flock and never buys any at all.

Keep Them Healthy

Healthy chickens lay more eggs, take less time and require less money. Being proactive with chicken health is a much better option than trying to deal with a sick chicken.

Use apple cider vinegar in their water (and change water daily)

This is good for overall health and aids in keeping the flock healthy (and the chickens like it). You just need a bit–around a tablespoon per gallon of water added to the waterer 1-2 times per week (or one straight week in a row once per month). ACV also cuts down on the bacteria and other nasty stuff that wants to grow in the waterer.

Use essential oils (with caution and in small doses) as needed for health

Using natural solutions to help in situations where they’re needed is less toxic and cheaper than other alternatives. Here’s a place to start if you haven’t used essential oils with your flock.

Use food grade Diatomaceous Earth

Diatomaceous Earth (DE) is a natural product made up of crushed up fossils (find out more about it here including seven ways to use it). It kills bugs and parasites and is even known to increase egg production.

Change How You Clean the Coop

Another big cost with chickens is the bedding they need for their coop and nest boxes. But there are ways to save here, too.

Use Deep Litter Method

You can save a ton of money (and time) on coop bedding if you use the deep litter method. If you’re not familiar with this method, it works like this: Spread a thin layer of bedding on the coop floor (4-5 inches) and every week or so, add another thin layer over the soiled parts (especially under the roost). Let it build up (hence the DEEP litter). What happens as you do this is that you’re starting your own compost of sorts in your coop. If you do it right (add a fresh thin layer of bedding regularly), is shouldn’t smell bad (unless you don’t have enough ventilation).

Besides saving money, there’s other good reasons for this method. In the coop composting environment, good bacteria builds up and bad bacteria is better kept under control. Also, as the hens peck around in the litter, it increases the vitamin B-12 levels and is anticoccidial.

AND! You have to buy a lot less bedding in the long run (as you’re not completely cleaning out and refilling your coop with bedding on a regular basis).

Make your own DIY coop cleaning supplies

Don’t buy cleaning supplies for the coop (or even for your chickens!) Make your own natural solutions at a fraction of the cost (and with no toxicity)! Basic products like white vinegar and essential oils can make excellent cleaning alternatives (and are even good for things like fly control and other things)!

Sell Eggs

  Anyone who has eaten a fresh backyard egg knows that the store bought alternative isn’t even close. As a result, fresh backyard eggs are in demand. During the summer, when my flock is heavy into their laying season, I make more money from those eggs than the hens cost me to take care of.  If I had a bigger flock, I could sell even more. Everyone wants my eggs. The same is probably true EVERYWHERE. Even if you only have a small flock, chances are, you have a surplus of eggs and can sell them to family, friends and neighbors as a way to off-set chicken raising costs.

Rotate the Flock

If you’re serious about saving money, know that the first 2 years are the optimum years for a hen to lay eggs. After that, their production goes down some every year until it stops all together. What this means is that you’re feeding a hen $6-12 worth of food per month for little to no eggs in return.

So, what do you do with hens that are past their prime? If you’re like me, you let them retire and live the good life of a freeloader out in the coop. But this is NOT a cost effective way to run a flock.

The money saving solution is to remove them from the flock when their egg production slows down. To do this, you can cull them, eat them, sell them or give them away, but keeping them isn’t a way to save money.

  With over 20 ideas on how to raise chickens without breaking the bank, you’re sure to find at least some solutions that work for you. In the end, you have to balance your money saving practices with who you are, how you tick and what you want in having a backyard flock. But with some simple tweaks, you can easily make those backyard eggs less expensive.

  How to Raise Chickens without Breaking the Bank was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[movieminutes]

The Iron Fist

We have a few questions about the so-called “Living Weapon.”

How does it work, exactly? We know Danny must focus his chi in order to summon it. Unfortunately, it’s harder than it sounds. Things get in the way of Danny’s focus, but…

At one point early on, Danny says the psych ward’s drugs prevent him from focusing his chi and summoning the fist; however, moments after Danny is doped out and dragged down across the hospital, he beats up three of Ward’s men and blasts down a steel door with a single punch.

Does killing people also mess up Danny’s chi? During the penultimate episode, Colleen seems to think that this is the case. But earlier on we find out that the Iron Fist’s duty is to end The Hand and Davos calls Danny weak for not killing Bakuto.

Going a bit further, what are the Iron Fist’s origins and how does defeating a Shaolin dragon give someone that power?

Why is the Iron Fist the sworn enemy of The Hand? What is their history? And if they are sworn enemies, then they must have fought each other at one point, right? Then why does Danny reference The Hand as if they’re a myth?  Sure, he may never have fought them personally, but surely K’un-Lun possess some record of at least one of the previous Iron Fists doing battle with the shadowy organization.

The Hand

At this point in the Marvel/Netflix Universe, The Hand doesn’t have a cohesive identity. They’re just an omnipresent entity for our heroes to fight. In season two of Daredevil, The Hand is digging a big hole for some reason. In Iron Fist, The Hand is selling heroin. Are these two somehow connected or is The Hand simply behind all the bad stuff going on in New York?

To muddle matters more, apparently there are multiple factions within The Hand. Colleen doesn’t get too specific about them either. Instead, she seems to insist that one is trying to help aimless kids find purpose and that the other faction, lead by Goa, is selling drugs. What is the hierarchy here?

More than identity, how does The Hand’s resurrection technology work? We know for sure that it changes those who are brought back with it. That’s about all we know because at one point Howard cuts off a finger as a constant reminder of his failures but then has all ten later when he is brought back to life a second time. Does this tech. regenerate lost limps? Because it obviously can’t regrow the head. And when Harold is brought back a second time, why does he first wander around New York like a caveman lost in time? A simple explanation here would have cleared things up considerably.

Rand Enterprises & Board (Bored) Meetings

One of the biggest complaints about Iron Fist is that it focuses far too much on rich people sitting around discussing financial mumbo-jumbo. A lot of these scenes are the result of Danny trying to reclaim the business that is his namesake, which is understandable. However, once Danny regains his 51% stock in Rand Enterprises, he seems to have zero interest in the company and is ultimately ousted by the board (despite being the majority shareholder).

Before being voted out, however, a well-groomed Danny promises a random mother that they will look into her claims that their chemical plant gave her random son cancer. Unfortunate, yes, but we never meet this lady’s son nor do we ever hear from her again and this subplot is never tied up. Essentially, all these scenes have zero payoff, which is infuriating because they make up a bulk of the show. For more on this, here are some snapshots from the exciting, action-packed kung-fu series Iron Fist:

Marvel’s Iron Fist

Sabina & the Chemist (No, it’s not a band)

Danny Rand spends three episodes tracking down and saving a woman named Sabina, who is the daughter of The Hand’s heroin chemist (who they need to smuggle into the states for some reason). If you haven’t seen the show then you’re probably wondering why The Hand needs a special chemist to make heroin. Well, it’s a special type of heroin and they get him to make it by holding his daughter, Sabina, hostage.

At one point Danny decides he’s going to search New York’s seaside warehouses until he finds where The Hand is holding Sabina. There are a lot of problems with this plot. First, Danny drives to each warehouse despite the fact that the only time he has driven a car was as a kid fifteen years ago.

Second, Danny brings Ward along for the hunt. You read that correctly. Danny Rand lets a citizen tag along while he actively seeks out the base of operations for a shadow organization run by highly skilled assassins.

Thirdly, after Danny fails to locate Sabina, The Hand comes to him with a challenge. If he wins a series of fights, then they will release Sabina. Danny agrees, in turn promising to cease resisting The Hand if he fails any of their tests along the way. And along the way, Danny seems to have psychic conversations with some monk, who encourages Danny (via insults) to fight on despite his weakening state.

The identity of this monk goes unknown and Danny never again has psychic conversations. Is this a special master-trainee connection or something supernatural only an Iron Fist can achieve? If Danny hadn’t magically tamed Joy’s attack dog in the first episode by simply looking at it, I would be inclined to believe that this whole thing was just an illusion in Danny’s head sparked by bitter memories of his harsh training. Alas, this is never cleared up.

Lastly (and most offensively), The Hand cheats and Danny yields to save Sabina’s life. As it turns out, the entire thing was a rouse so that The Hand could quietly steal back their chemist and kill him. Then we never hear from Sabina again. Yup, that’s the end of a three episode arc.

Danny Rand

To those who suffered through all thirteen hours, one thing is clear: Danny Rand is a crybaby. He’s consistently apologizing for his ceaseless emotional outbreaks. Sure, we like to see our own vulnerabilities reflected through our heroes (particularly superheroes), but this is escapism. We are supposed to want to escape our lives, not our characters. He is annoying more than anything.

These temper tantrums also make it difficult to believe Danny as the Iron Fist. He is not a disciplined warrior. He constantly lets his emotions get the best of him. It goes against everything we are told about the Iron Fist. Why would anybody trust this kid to protect them from anything, let alone from forces as unpredictable and far-reaching as The Hand?

These are just a few of the things that didn't work for us in the new Marvel/Netflix Iron Fist series. What did you think of the show? Did you enjoy it? Did you also have problems with it? Let us know in the comments below!

A fistful of things that don’t work in ‘Iron Fist’ The Iron Fist We have a few questions about the so-called "Living Weapon." How does it work, exactly?

[umichenginabroad]

Londres

Not long before our pre-semester classes ended, the schedule for (only) the first week of the regular semester was released. Monday was a day off for everyone, and even then, only certain classes were set to begin that week. My schedule was very open, with only a class on Thursday afternoon. That meant that I had a long weekend between the end of pre-semester classes and the beginning of my semester. And for students here, long weekends mean that it’s time to travel!

It would be easy for me to make this post really long, because 5 days worth of traveling and exploring is A LOT of time. However, I don’t intend to share every detail of my travels, and as we were reminded at our orientation for this blogging position, this isn’t technically a travel blog for all of our side trips. Although traveling is highly encouraged, this is intended to be a way to share our experiences at our universities. That being said, I’ll attempt to highlight some of the fun/amusing/learning experiences from this trip.

My dear friend, Elli, is currently studying at the University of Westminster in London, so I figured it would be a good time to pay her a visit. A few months ago when we learned that we would both be in Europe at the same time, she and I decided that we would have to meet up. I booked my transportation and accommodation a few days before leaving, and then I set out on Saturday.

I used a popular ridesharing service called BlaBlaCar to get to Paris. I rode with a very kind man named Joël, who was driving his son back to school with his wife. Joël and I talked about all sorts of things, particularly the US and traveling.

Having been to Paris once before, I didn’t feel the need to see anything in particular that day, so I just wandered. That’s not to say that one can ever see all of Paris, especially in a few days with a tour group. However, I think one of the best ways to discover a city is to get lost in it.

The weather was wonderful during my layover in Paris. I particularly enjoyed this shot of Henry IV at Pont Neuf (“New Bridge”), which is actually the oldest bridge crossing the Seine in Paris.

I spent about 10 hours walking around Paris, mostly sticking to the Seine, where I could enjoy the sunshine. I did eventually make my way over to the Eiffel Tower, but I just sat on the Champ de Mars nearby and dogwatched. I promised my friend, Jessica, that I would take pictures of as many dogs as I could while abroad, and Paris did not disappoint.

I then took an overnight bus from Paris to London (the cheapest option I found). To get from France to the United Kingdom, we took the Eurotunnel Shuttle, which goes through the Channel Tunnel (���Chunnel”). Before this trip, I knew that the Chunnel existed, crossing about 30 miles of the English Channel, but I didn’t realize exactly how it worked. The Shuttle is basically a train for vehicles. Our bus was loaded into a car of a train and became a passenger on this shuttle under the channel.

The crossing itself isn’t particularly interesting (not much to see), but there was some drama that took place during our journey. It was 2 AM, and we were all just sitting there/sleeping, when all of a sudden, a woman at the back of the bus started yelling at another woman. I did my best to understand what was being said, but they were both going at once - and quickly. From what I heard, someone’s coat was “thrown onto the ground”. Then there was arguing about who started it. Essentially, a typical petty argument. Since we were on The Shuttle, the driver was able to come up to the second level and break it up. That spat and the two border control stops were enough to render the drive less restful than I had hoped.

One of the many beautiful spots in Regent’s Park

I happened to be on the same bus as another exchange student, Andrés, so we stuck together for the first day. We started walking once we got off the bus at 5 AM and just kept going. In fact, I kept going all three days, covering over 50 miles on foot. I also took advantage of the cheap bike rentals on the third day - highly recommended.

Note about the bikes: Twenty-four hours of access to those bikes only costs 2 pounds. That’s it, as long as the journeys are under 30 minutes. Every extra 30 costs another 2 pounds, or you can dock at one of the countless stations, wait 5 minutes, and start another free 30 minutes.

I used the bikes because I wanted to check out the Olympic Park. It took two journeys and some u-turns, but I made it eventually. It was cool to see the stadium and the aquatic center, even if it was from the outside. There were also some neat little things like a bouldering wall, which I couldn’t resist trying out.

It seems obvious now, but at the time I didn’t consider that what I was wearing would limit my ability to climb. My running shoes were bulky for the holds, and my pants, as it turns out, were not particularly stretchy. (I tore a hole in the crotch of my pants.) Lesson learned: Don’t climb in khakis.

I had a Korean burrito here at Camden Market. Kimchi, beef, and other tasty stuff wrapped in a tortilla!

One of the other highlights of my time in London - if you can call ripping your pants a highlight - was the food. I received a wonderful list of tips and recommendations from my sister’s friend, Tai, which included some of the markets around town. Given the nice weather and the potential for delicious food, I had to go! I visited Camden Market, which was perhaps a bit more touristy than Borough Market, but delicious. At Borough, there was street food and also plenty of stalls selling everything from spices to cheese to produce. If I lived anywhere near there, I’m sure that would be a place I’d visit often.

Although those two markets were great, the best may have been the one that I stumbled upon. I happened to see a sign that said “Farmers Market: Tues.”, so I followed the arrow. I arrived at a little square next to Guy’s Hospital, where around 10 vendors were set up at a tiny farmers market. Everything looked delicious. Paella, meat pies, Lebanese food. However, what stuck out the most was the tent with the desserts. As soon as I saw it, I knew I couldn’t leave London without buying something there.

This is why I recommend wandering.

For lunch, I met Elli back at Borough Market, where we explored a little more and got our lunch. She went with a bratwurst from the German stand, and I got a box of Ethiopian food that was way too good. Even though, lunch was filling, I told Elli we had unfinished business. I led her back to the farmers market, and we each ordered a (massive) slice of cake. We found a place to sit on the steps, pet the fluffiest Labradoodle, and stuffed ourselves with what was easily one of the best pieces of cake I’ve ever eaten. A great way to finish off my trip!

Before I bring this not-as-brief-as-I-had-hoped report to an end, I want to reiterate a few thoughts and share some new ones:

Wander. I can’t recommend it enough. You might find some delicious cake, the cutest puppy, or a beautiful spot that’s off the beaten path. Plus, it feels nice to get away from all the other tourists.

Use your resources/networks. I had a lot of help on my trip, between the people with whom I could do things and the people who gave me advice. I was able to travel with Andrés and to hang out with Elli and her awesome roommate, Chloe, which made the trip more enjoyable. I also received excellent tips from Jenée’s friend, Tai, and from a fellow Stamps Scholar (University of Texas), Tiffany Chan. Someone you know probably knows something or someone who does, so ask.

Meeting people is inevitable. I mentioned meeting Chloe through Elli, but I also met complete strangers. For example, in my hostel there were all sorts of people: different ages, races, nationalities. In fact, I met a group of French students, one of whom is now helping me practice my French! Louise writes to me in English, and I respond in French!

On a similar note, some of the people you meet will make the world feel small. On Facebook and Twitter, I shared my story about Omar, the French man whose brother attends the University of Michigan. We were just two strangers who happened to be on the same bus back to Paris from London, but we made a connection because of his Michigan sweatshirt.

Finally, it’s important to stop and reflect every once in awhile. This little note I found on a map at Regent’s Park made me reconsider the way I go about my travels:

“Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.”

I do recognize the humor in the fact that I took a picture of this with my phone and am now writing about it on a blog, but it’s something to work on. I’d like to keep this in mind as I continue traveling. In this age of the internet and social media, it’s easy to get caught up and to forget to enjoy the moment. Maybe in the future I can sacrifice a few superfluous pictures to just be there.

A la prochaine!

Cole Schneider

Materials Science and Engineering

Université de Technologie de Troyes