#just about sobbed having to say goodbye to Alice only to come back to fucking Atul asking about fried chicken

[hamable]

The last two days of my life have been wholly consumed by me finally playing spiritfarer. Good game yall good game

[therealvinelle]

What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

-

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

[labyrinthof-fan-fiction]

Fever {1}

Series Masterlist

A/N: I rewatched the movies and had an overwhelming need to write the story in ways that I would have liked to see it play out. I am a firm Team Jacob and will be for this fic, there will be Edward bashing. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

In regards to the wolves, I will be leaning more into the werewolf/shapeshifter mythology, rather than the Quileute storyline that Meyer wrote, I don’t feel that I would do their stories justice, and also just don't like the way Meyer handled any part of their story so I will just be playing with Meyer’s characters. If you’re interested in the Quileute histories or able to donate to their school relocation to help them move their school to higher ground, I’ve included some websites.

Quileute Nation Website: https://quileutenation.org/

Truth vs. Twilight: https://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight/facts-01.html

Move to Higher Ground Tribal School Relocation: mthg.org

Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Abandonment

Summary: Starting in New Moon, what would have happened if Jacob imprinted on Bella? What if she would have chosen him after Edward left? What if she went to therapy?

Rating: M

Word Count: 2,049

I was cold, so fucking cold. And empty, I was empty. The trees overhead were swallowing me as the sun sank. He was gone, I was alone, he just left. He never loved me, I was just a momentary amusement. Cold was seeping into my bones as I lay on the forest floor, waiting for the sky to turn black and for the night to consume me. Rain started, it was cold.The rain started mingling with the warm tears that had rolled down my cheeks.

My world is not for you. I don’t want you to come with me. This will be the last time you see me. Goodbye, Bella. An endless loop of his voice repeated these statements in my mind. It wouldn’t stop, I just wanted it to stop. Then a voice interrupted me, “Isabella Swan? Have you been hurt? Did he hurt you?” Then warmth surrounded me.

“He’s gone, he left. I’m alone.” I groaned, burrowing into the warmth, but it wasn’t enough warmth. I needed more. He kept walking until we broke the tree line and he called out to a swarm of people. “I’ve got her!”

Charlie was yelling my name. “Bella?!” I felt his hands on my face. “I can take her.”

“Charlie?” I whimpered.

“I’m right here, baby, I’m here.” Charlie’s voice soothed.

“Charlie, I can bring her inside.” The voice murmured.

“Please, Sam, let me take her.”Sam, so that was the disembodied voice’s name. I whined as I was passed away from the warmth and into Charlie’s arms.

“I’ve got you baby, I’ve got you.” Charlie murmured, I could hear him puff his breath as we entered the house, he set me down gingerly on the couch. “Sam, blankets are at the top of the stairs, in the cupboard. Doc’s gonna check you out okay?” He asked, brushing hair out of my face, my fingers still shaking. I felt a blanket set on my shoulders, I pulled it close as Dr. Gerandy walked into my line of sight.

“Hello, Miss Swan. I’m here to do a quick check up. Just make sure you’re okay. Do you know where you are?”

“Home.” I mumbled.

“Do you know who is here?” He asked, flashing a light in my eyes.

“Charlie, Sam, and you, Dr. Gerandy.” I answered.

He smiled. “And what happened in the woods? Are you hurt?” He placed his hand on my forehead.

“I…I tried to follow after him. He just left, he doesn’t want me anymore. I’m nothing.” I mumbled.

“Bella, baby, did Edward Cullen do this?” Charlie asked, kneeling down next to me.

“He left, he’s gone. I’m alone.” Then the tears started and I couldn’t hold them back. Charlie’s arms wrapped awkwardly around my shoulders as I leaned into him.

“I’ll be back to check on her tomorrow, Charlie. I don’t see any physical injuries.” I heard Dr. Gerandy murmur before seeing himself out of the room.

“Bells, I have to let everyone know you’re okay and send them home. I’ll be right back.” Charlie murmured into my hair. I clenched my hands into his shirt for a moment, before releasing him.

I heard him call out of the house, saying his thanks and dismissing the group. As his footsteps fell on the floor the phone started to ring. He grumbled and padded into the kitchen, having the same hushed conversation with the callers. There was a pause in ringing for a minute before it began again. Charlie let out a large sigh before answering.

“Hello.” He greeted curtly. “Where? Outside the reservation? I’ll check on it, thanks.”

The phone hung up and he was dialing again. “Hey, Billy. No, she’s fine. Sleeping on the couch. Thanks for sending the boys. Look, I’ve got reports of fires on the cliffs.......Yeah, okay, and why are they doing that?” His voice was weary. “Really? Just make sure it doesn’t spread, I can’t leave her alone.....Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up the phone then sighed. He padded around the kitchen, I heard dishes being placed in the sink before his footsteps grew closer and I heard him drop into his recliner.

“What’s going on?” I asked, his head jolted towards me. He started to stand. “Charlie, I’m okay. What’s happening, I heard you talking about fires.”

He sighed, “Just some bonfires on the cliffs. Some of the kids in La Push being rowdy.”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

His eyes met mine, “They’re celebrating.”

My brow furrowed for a moment, “They’re celebrating the Cullens leaving.” I murmured.

Charlie nodded, and sat back in his chair. He was staring at the wall, his mind somewhere else. “Bella?” He asked, in a gentle tone I don’t know if I had heard since I was small. I glanced over at him. “He left you alone, in the woods?”

I remained silent, not sure what to say. He left me, alone. And in the woods, that much was the truth. “How did you find me?”

“Your note, you left it on the table. Said you went for a walk with Edward.” Charlie murmured, worrying a piece of paper in his hand. “Then you didn’t come back. I called their house, no one answered. I called Alice, nothing. So, I called the hospital. Doc told me that Carlisle resigned.”

I closed my eyes, as tears were starting to form again. How did I still have tears left to cry? “Where did they go?”

Charlie balked, I hadn’t meant to say that. “Doc said that Carlisle took a job in Los Angeles, some big hospital, very lucrative opportunity. Didn’t Edward tell you.”

I let out a wry laugh, Los Angeles, the last place a coven of vampires would relocate to.

“Bella, I need to know, did Edward leave you alone in the woods?”

I took a breath and stared up at the ceiling. “I tried to follow him, I was on the path. Then it was dark and I wasn’t on the path anymore. I tripped. Then I heard Sam.” A sob tore through my body.

“Oh, baby, it’s alright.” I heard Charlie rise from his chair and kneel by the couch. I rolled to my side and haphazardly wrapped my arms around him. “You’ll get through this. It won’t be easy, but you will be okay.”

“Dad...” I started, my voice was so weak and I felt his arms tighten around me.

“It’s okay, Bells. I’m here.” He was rubbing small circles on my back as tears continued flowing, at some point they had to stop. They had to. I don’t know how long we stayed like that before he pulled back. “Let’s get you to bed, you can stay home tomorrow. Alright?”

I nodded, he held out his hand to help me off the couch. I walked up the stairs to my room, giving him a small good night before entering my room. I glanced at the window, expecting his shadow to darken it. I did a small turn as I looked around my room, he had left the note. That much, I knew. Which meant, he had been in the house. I opened the CD player on my dresser. It was empty. It will be as if I never existed. “No, no.” I picked up the scrapbook from Renèe, the pages that I had filled were dotted with empty frames. I felt my breathing start to shallow and I sat on my bed. The window still closed, he was gone. He didn’t want me. I sunk into the covers as the dam broke and I was swallowed whole by the tides.

I never really understood what people meant when they talked about going through the motions, at least, not until now. Six months had passed since he left. I didn’t even feel like those months existed, my only proof was the constant changing of the calendar. It was January now, that much I knew, if you asked me for the actual day, I wouldn’t have that answer. I sighed and pulled on an outfit, that Alice would be disappointed in. Maybe my poor fashion choices would summon her here. I let out a laugh and walked down the stairs for breakfast.

I sat down at the table with my usual cereal, Dad nursing his morning coffee. The circles under his eyes dark and deep. I knew those were my fault. Months of sleepless nights had worn on him, I wish I could let him sleep. I wish both of us could sleep. Silence fell in the little kitchen, silence had become common in the house.

But this morning was different, Dad’s fist hit the table. “Bella, I don’t know what to do. Something has to change, or I’m sending you to Florida with your mom.” Dad stated, a shake in his voice.

“I am home.” I snapped back, glancing up into his eyes.

“I’m sending you back, to Renèe, in Jacksonville. I...Bella...I can’t let you live like this. You don’t do anything, you just walk through the motions. I can’t let you go on like this. You can’t... Bella.”

“Dad, please, don’t.” I started, the thought of being sent back to Renèe had my heart pounding, for the first time in months I felt like I had an indicator that I was alive. “Please, I can do better.”

He sighed, “I know, Bella, but I have to do something. Bells, you’re wasting away, you’re falling behind in school, you don’t leave your room. I can’t even say you’re moping because you don’t emote enough for it to be considered moping. Dr. Gerandy recommended a therapist from Port Angeles, thought you might like her.”

I chewed on my thumbnail, being presented with the possibility of being shipped back to Renèe jostled me out of my stupor for a moment. I couldn’t go back to her, I couldn’t take care of myself, how was I supposed to take care of her again? And Phil was hurt again, so he’d be another added to my list. “A therapist might not be a bad idea.” I mumbled.

Dad’s eyes widened. “I can call, see when she has an opening. Get an appointment booked.”

I nodded, still chewing on my thumbnail.

“Bells?” He asked tentatively.

I glanced up from the table. “Dad?”

“You’re not the first to go through this kind of thing. I….” He trailed off. “I had a hard time when your mom left. I was in a bad place. It took me time, but I got through it.” He paused again, he glanced down at his coffee and took a long sip before speaking again. “You can’t waste your life waiting for him to come back. I think if I had seen someone, maybe I would have been able to get better sooner.” There was something else he was thinking, but he kept it to himself.

“I’m sorry, Dad.” I mumbled.

His eyes shot over to me, and he sat up to reach across the table to place his hand over mine. “Bella, you have nothing to be sorry about. I am sorry, that I didn’t get you help sooner. And I’m sorry that I threatened to send you back to Renèe, I’m worried about you, kid.”

“I know, let me know when you get an appointment.” I said, giving him a weak smile before standing from the table. “I’ve got to get to school, see you when I get home.”

He nodded, and took another sip of his coffee as I left the kitchen. “Love you.” I heard him whisper as I left the door. Another small smile spread across my lips and I climbed into my truck. I pulled into my parking space and took a deep breath. The past few months I had been a ghost, I wonder if they’re real too….. I shook my head and stared at Forks High. There were no shiny Volvos parked at the side with a family of too perfect teenagers grouped at the entrance. No van barreling at me. Just a bunch of normal, human teenagers walking to their first class. I joined them, but I knew I was far from a normal human teenager, but just maybe, I would get closer than I was now.

[cloudaura93]

Fall for You Pt.2 - Cindy/Alice Fanfiction (FEAR STREET)

Synopsis: SPOILER WARNING. Please don’t read if you haven’t watched the whole series. The second part of this story. Picks up at the end of the first part and covers the ending of the 1978 massacre flashback. I have an idea for a smaller final story to wrap everything up. Cindy and Ziggy are trying to reunite Sarah Fier’s hand with her body to stop the curse meanwhile Alice is helping in her own way as best she can given the circumstances. AU with alternating POVs between Alice and Cindy. 

Alice’s POV:

I hear Cindy and Ziggy flee the cabin as I struggle to subdue Tommy, my former friend and current possessed killer. He throws me off, recovers, and lifts me up by my neck slowly squeezing my windpipe, and then decides to toss me through the front doors of the cabin instead of strangulation. I land hard with a thud on my back while also smacking my head on the ground.

“Ouch.” I say under my breath as I slowly sit up and start scrambling to my feet. I see Tommy slowly approaching with the axe in hand, and I realize I either need to run away or find a weapon. A weapon. Of course. I reach down and remove the knife from the sheath Cindy used as part of the splint to support my fucked up leg.

“Here goes nothing.” I whisper as I launch myself toward him. When I’m a couple feet away, I throw the knife toward his face where it hits its mark squarely in his left eye as I dodge to the right, narrowly avoiding the impact from the axe swing. It momentarily stuns him as I start hobbling away to hide. I hope I bought Cindy and Ziggy enough time. I hope they are still alive because I’ll be damned if I let some stupid ass curse ruin my life further especially after I just got my girl back. We deserve happiness too.

I expect Tommy to continue pursuing me, but instead I turn around and realize that he is heading in the opposite direction.

“Oh shit!” I exclaim as it hits me that I was only a distraction, and the main target is Ziggy who is at the Hanging Tree with her sister trying to reunite Sarah Fier’s hand to her body. I instantly swivel around and limp behind killer Tommy moving as fast as I can. I try to keep up to hopefully have a chance to warn the girls as they try to stop this carnage once and for all.

We are approaching our mutual destination a few minutes later, and I notice out of my peripheral vision that I’m too late to help. I watch my beautiful snitch getting brutalized by her ex-boyfriend’s axe at the same time Ziggy is being repeatedly stabbed by the Milkman. It’s like some horrible plaguing nightmare, all playing out in slow motion while I’m about thirty seconds away, but hopeless to do anything to help. 

“NOOOO!” I scream out in agony as I collapse to the ground on my knees ignoring the piercing pain in my leg.

As I’m crying for a few seconds, it suddenly goes quiet and I glance up to see all the Shadyside killers have disappeared. I instinctively crawl on my knees toward the girls’ bodies hoping to say goodbye. I’m almost to Cindy when I hear the rustling of footsteps next to me. 

“Alice?!” He says, and I recognize the voice. Nick Goode. Of course he’s here. Fucking Sunnyvale’s prodigal son. The savior. The knight in shining armor trying to rescue the poor surviving Shadyside campers.

“Save her Nick! Save Ziggy!” I shout through choked back sobs willing him to understand my meaning as I sadly reach my girlfriend, and grasp her hand letting the tears flow down my cheeks. I couldn’t save Cindy, but I can at least attempt to keep her sister alive.

“I will. I promise. And Alice? I’m sorry.” Before I can even react, I feel a stinging sensation in my back and as my vision fades to black, I realize that this is how I’m going to die. With a whimper, not a bang. Alone and betrayed by Nick fucking Goode. A literal backstabber. You unimaginable bastard. We were so close. Not that it matters anymore. No one will remember us, and our sacrifice. This will just be another unfortunate and bloody tale of the cursed town of Shadyside. The infamous Camp Nightwing massacre of 1978.

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Cindy’s POV:

As Ziggy and I are digging down to find Sarah Fier’s body, we stumble upon something hard that we hit with the shovels. 

“I found something!” Ziggy states excitedly. I hold my breath as I help her unearth whatever was buried underneath the tree. It’s a rock with an engraving on it.

“The witch forever lives.” I shakily gasp out.

“The witch forever lives.” My little sister repeats the statement before following up with “Cindy, what does it mean? Cindy?!” She asks worriedly.

“I don’t know.” I answer softly.

“What...where is she? Where’s the body?” 

“I don’t know.” I replied. We share a look first at each other and then at Tommy who is on our tails.

“This way. Come on.” I continue as I grab Ziggy’s arms and drag her up so we can attempt to run away. We turn around and realize that the other Shadyside killers are also here quickly approaching from every direction.

“What do you want, Sarah Fier? You want this?” As I hold up her hand. “You can have it. Just let my sister live. Just let my sister live!” I plead. I drop the hand next to the hole we dug in frustration and grab one of the shovels.

I realize sadly that there is no escape, at least not for me. But I can protect Ziggy as best I can and give her a fighting chance.

“You bled on the bone. They are after you. Get ready to run.” I tell her sadly. I’m so sorry Ziggy. I’m so sorry Alice. I wish we had more time to spend together, to make up for lost time. I tried my best but I failed both of you again. I love you so much. I’ll see you again.

“No Cindy no!” I hear her cry out at the realization of my decision. I hurriedly take hold of her arm again and we start sprinting together. At the last second however, I push her aside and swing the shovel at Tommy where I connect with his head but he immediately retaliates with a smack to my head with the axe’s blunt end. 

I fall down onto the ground hard helpless as I glance out of the corner of my eye to hear Ziggy screaming while being attacked by the Milkman at the same time the axe collides with my chest piercing my insides. Tommy strikes me repeatedly and as blood begins gurgling out of my mouth, I turn my head to face my baby sister who I notice is reaching out her hand toward me. I reciprocate the gesture and say one last thing to her knowing this is the end. 

“Nothing...will...pull...us...apart…” I gasp my final breath as the world goes dark and my eyes slowly close and I feel myself fading away. 

Some time later…

Cindy’s POV:

“Cindy. Wake up. You need to see this...to understand.” A disembodied voice whispers in my ear. I struggle to regain consciousness as I hear the faint sounds of terror around me.

“This is important. Please wake up.” The voice repeats itself. I stir and slowly attempt to stand as I’m feeling wobbly on my feet. Once my balance returns, I instantly realize that I feel different than I did when I was alive not too long ago.

“Where...where am I?” I ask the voice which has a feminine tone to it.

“Not quite sure. All I know is this is where the poor unfortunate souls who have attempted to thwart the Goode family’s treachery end up after they die. It’s sort of like limbo and you are a ghost observing the effects of the curse until one day it can finally end.”

I nod in understanding as I look around and realize that I’m standing at the edge of the clearing where the Hanging Tree is located.

“Sarah Fier.” I reply, finally figuring it out. 

“Yes. It’s me. I tried to warn you. I’ve always tried warning everyone who stumbles upon the curse. No one has ever figured it out completely. You were the closest, but alas you ran out of time just like the others.” She answers sadly.

“Will she live? Did I save my sister at least?” I inquire as I stare at Ziggy who is slowly dying.

“No. You did your best, but ultimately failed. Your girlfriend fared slightly better, but will still pay the ultimate price.” Sarah replies as she teleports us closer to the tree. I stare in shock as I notice my dear sweet Alice stumbling toward my body.

“Alice! No! I have to help her!” I cry out desperately wanting to save her from her fate as Nick Goode drives a knife deep into her back where she collapses onto my corpse, the light leaving her eyes as she bleeds out.

“She’s gone, but your sister will live. Nick Goode will see to it. Take solace that she survives. And your dear Alice will join us shortly so you will be reunited. You won’t share this existence alone..” Sarah nonchalantly explains. 

As if on command, I hear soft footsteps from behind and spin around to face my badass and brave girlfriend.

“Hey snitch.” She greets with a smirk. I race over and embrace her by wrapping my arms around her neck, tears misting at my eyes. She instinctively wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me closer. We hold each other for a couple minutes until I have to ask her a very important question.

“What took you so long?” I whisper in her ear echoing the last time I said that to her when we were still alive. She pulls back from the hug and grasps both my hands with her own.

“Three guesses. Besides, I couldn’t leave you to face this uncertain future alone. You are stuck with me now princess. For better or worse. Not letting you go this time” She beams.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smile and close the gap between us to gently kiss her on the lips. 

Despite recent events, I still have hope. Alice and I get to spend eternity together even though we are both dead, and Ziggy lives even with survivor’s guilt. It’s not a perfect happy ending, but I’ll take what I can get. It’s better than what most Shadysiders get to experience in their lives.

And since we have been given a second chance to fix our mistakes and help prevent the spilling of more innocent bloodshed, it means we have a chance to help the next generation. To help Sarah stop the Goode family from continuing to enact this curse over Shadyside. Alice and I just need to watch over Ziggy until she’s ready, and then bide our time until the opportunity presents itself to intervene. This time we will be ready, and revenge is a dish best served cold. We are coming for you Nick Goode, one way or another.

The End?

[goldeneyedgirl]

whumptober time

I’ve always been a joiner, so following in @volturialice & @flowerslut’s footsteps (and holy hell, those ladies are bringing it), I figured I’d toss my hat in the ring. Not sure if I’ll get many done, but I can only try! And what better way to try that to start with a spontaneous MCU crossover. 

Day 08: Where Did Everybody Go?

“Don’t Say Goodbye” | Abandoned | Isolation

Rating: T for swearing

Words: 2,482

Summary: Twilight X MCU crossover. The Snap doesn’t just kill humans. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Notes: Takes place a couple of weeks after the Eclipse Battle/ at the end of Infinity War. Yup, now Twilight happens in 2018. I should just call this ‘Jar of Hearts’ but that feels a big grisly. Ideally, I’ll be writing three more parts to this for Whumptober or for Jalice Week (depending on prompts). 

It was a normal night for them. There was nothing to indicate anything was wrong. The boys had gone hunting together, deep into the Olympic Ranges for predators.

If he had to remember one thing about that hunt, it was how … pleasant it was. They’d all caught what they had hoped for (with a helpful map from Alice). There were no disagreements, no mood-swings, no storming off for hours. And with brothers like his, to avoid all three of those things was a fucking miracle.

When he looks back, he tries to work out when it started. They were running back, mud-splattered and bloody; for once, they weren’t so late they couldn’t clean up before school.

It’s Edward first - just ahead of him to the left. Eddie leaps over a fallen tree and he … stumbles, only just keeping his balance.

“Jasper!”

He’s laughing at Edward’s stumble - perfect balance and all that - but Jasper isn’t. In fact, both Edward and Jasper have this look of increasing horror on their faces, and it’s only when Jasper grabs Edward  and Jasper’s hand goes through Edward’s shoulder because Edward is turning into dust and that is not fucking right.

“Emmett.”

He’s never heard Edward sound so much like the seventeen year old boy he was, and he reaches for his oldest - and his youngest - brother, but by the time his hands are grasping out for Edward’s, Edward is gone. There’s nothing left of him, no clothes or cellphone or bones or hair or anything. It’s not even proper ash, but dust that mingles with the dirt on the ground, and there’s nothing. Nothing. He might as well have never been there.

He’s not entirely sure if he’s feeling his own horror, his own terror, and grief, or if Jasper is projecting. Neither of them know what to do, to scoop what is left of Edward into their pockets, and flee home or to get help or to… what.

But then Jasper is running again, and he follows, desperation streaming off Jasper so strongly that Emmett can almost feel his own dead heart pounding.

Is it disease? Are there vampires diseases?

It can’t be age, Jasper and Carlisle are older, the Denali girls older still…

His phone trills in his pocket but he keeps running and Jasper keeps running, and they aren’t getting there fast enough.

Jasper keeps running until he crumples into dust, his golden eyes wide, and the one word on his lips lost as he disintegrates.

Alice.

He backs away from Jasper’s resting place, like the dust is contagious - and maybe it is - maybe whatever happened to Edward spread to Jasper when he touched him.

Instead, he runs. He tears through the forest, a soundless rhythm in his head Rosie-Rosie-Rosie-Rosie and the kind of swirling, twisting worry like human nausea in his stomach as he bursts through trees and underbrush.

He’s ten miles out when he hears the screaming.

It doesn’t stop as he somehow moves faster, and bursts through the property line, to the backdoor of the house, which he half rips off the frame as he charges into the house.

The screaming - the wailing - is Alice, on her hands and knees in the sitting room. There’s dust on her face and hands, and she’s not all there, her eyes wide and glassy, as she rocks back and forth.

There’s a weight in his stomach, one that gets heavier every second Rosalie doesn’t appear, that Esme isn’t trying to calm Alice. Instead, he skids to a stop and drops to his knees in front of her, tugging her into his arms, pointedly ignoring the dust that sticks to his jeans, that he sends floating up into the air.

This is an Alice he doesn’t know, just like he knows a Rose that no one else does. The one that Jasper has alluded to, once or twice, in confidence. That it might have always looked like Alice was the one piecing Jasper back together, pulling him along in her grand plans, but it was never as simple or easy as that. Jasper held her together, she put him together. A balancing act.

Just the way that people assumed that he was the one that healed Rosalie of all her demons, when in truth he was just there, letting her know that whatever ‘okay’ looked like for Rosalie was for her - and only her - to decide. And that he’s always been the luckiest son of a bitch in existence to be apart of her version of ‘okay’.

Rose would have lost it with Alice by now. There’s no way Rosalie would have tolerated this level of noise.

Rose isn’t coming.

He holds his sister tight, and mutters reassurances in her hair. They stay like that for awhile until Alice just lets out a sob, and looks up at him, blinking slowly.

“He said he’d never leave me,” she says in a wobbly voice. “He promised me.”

“It wasn’t by choice,” Emmett rushes to tell her. “You were his last thought; he tried so hard to get home before he…”

Alice wipes her eyes, but she still doesn’t look like Alice. She looks lost and breakable, and she sits back, noticing the pile of dust they’re both sitting amongst.

“She… she was so mad,” Alice babbles suddenly, grabbing his hand. “If anyone could have stopped it, could have reversed it by… by sheer will, it was Rosalie, Em. She didn’t go alone, I had her.”

He’s sitting amongst his wife’s… ashes-dust-remains. It’s on his hands and legs and face, and he can see it clinging to Alice’s hair, and he kind of wants to match her wailing because there has never been an Emmett without a Rosalie, not in any history that counts, and without Rose, he has no plan, no direction, no purpose. The world has tilted off its axis, and he wants to go and bury his face in her clothes upstairs, clothes that smell like roses-lemons-cars until the tearing feeling in his chest just stops.

“Esme came running,” Alice continued, staring off into space. “She didn’t make it down the stairs. She didn’t even notice until she was practically gone.”

They sit in silence for a moment, or maybe longer, until the day has begun. The sky has lightened, and they are still alone in a quiet house. No radio, no conversation, no bickering, nothing.

“Did you see this?” he asks finally, and feels cruel asking.

“No.” She sniffles, and he thinks how cruel it was to take Jasper and leave Alice. “It happened so fast; I saw Edward when Rose started to…” She took a deep breath. “I felt Jasper go.” She shudders and there’s a hitch in her breath, and he really doesn’t want her to start crying again.

“We should call Carlisle,” he says, and she nods but pauses.

“Call his phone, not the hospital. No one will answer,” she whispers, but there’s a look in her eyes he doesn’t like and he doesn’t want to ask, either…

“I can’t see him answering, Em,” she whispers.

He takes a deep breath and dials the number.

It rings.

It keeps ringing.

“Hello?”

It’s a nervous sounding woman’s voice, and for a moment, he can’t find the words.

“I don’t know whose phone this is,” the woman continues, her voice shaking.

“It’s Emmett Cullen. I need to speak to my father - Dr Carlisle Cullen,” he manages, but Alice is already shaking her head.

“Emmett, it’s Nurse Fletcher,” and he has no idea who that is, truly. “Your father… he’s gone, Emmett.” The woman sounds traumatised, and he understands. “Half the hospital just… disappeared, there was nothing anyone could have done…”

He throws his phone against the wall, and it smashes through the drywall as it shatters, and Esme’s not even here to yell at him.

—

Somehow, Alice gets him to his feet, and drags him into Forks. Something about people coming looking for them and they need to go to the school, where everyone who is still here is gathering. They’re both covered in the dust of their family (Edward and Rose, mostly, and he wonders if bringing Alice a handful of her husband’s remains would have been the right thing to do. They’d left Esme where she fell, a waterfall of dirt on the stairs.)

There aren’t many people at the school when they arrive, and people are staring. He gets it; Alice looks like she just crawled out of an empty grave (Rose’s; Rose sticking to her face and hair and hands and knees…) and he’s splattered with mud and probably blood that he didn’t think to clean up before they left but together they are a suitably haunted, stricken pair of siblings.

A couple of Bella’s friends are at the impromptu gathering; the Hispanic girl is clinging to a man who has to be her father, fresh tear tracks on her face. A blonde girl is sitting with a blanket around her, almost bisected perfectly down her body with the dust of someone - a classmate, a family member, a passerby. Just dozens of people standing around, confused and grieving.

But Alice stops when she sees one figure, stooped and already exhausted.

Charlie Swan catches her in a hug as she approaches him a little faster than she should, and he wants to pull her back because now parts of Rosalie are sticking to Charlie’s clothes and from the look on Charlie’s face and on Alice’s, the dust on Charlie belonged to Bella.

He wants to chuckle, at the picture of Rose’s face if she was told her ashes would be mixed up with Bella’s forever now, or at least until Charlie does some laundry.

“She was in bed, sleeping,” Charlie says. “I thought it was a prank, at first.” His eyes are shiny and he takes a shuddering breath and looks closer at the pair of them. “Who…”

Alice seems to shrink into herself, and just shakes her head. “It’s just me and Emmett now,” she mutters. “Jasper’s gone and Rosalie’s gone, and Esme and Carlisle and Edward and now Bella.” There’s a tinge of hysteria to her words, and Emmett pulls his sister closer because he doesn’t want what’s left of Forks to watch if he has to try and calm her down from another round of hysteria.

“It’ll be okay,” he manages. “We’ll call Denali and see how Tanya’s doing. Cousins,” he offers to Charlie, who looks relieved. “We’ll check in on a few people,” he continues, hoping to distract Alice, who keeps repeating their names under her breath. “Peter and Charlotte, Maria, Garrett, Randall…”

“Good. You kids can stay with me while you track down some family if you need to,” Charlie offers but Alice manages to pull herself together.

“No, we’ll be fine,” she assures him. “Emmett’s old enough and … we’ll be fine. We just need to know what happened.”

“We don’t know much yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll call,” Charlie promises. “I’ll put your names on the … Survivors list, you two go on home and take a shower, make sure you’ve got enough food and gas in the car. And you call if you need anything.”

“Carlisle’s phone,” he says immediately. “Nurse Fletcher at the hospital has it, but we … can’t go there.”

Charlie seems to understand by totally misunderstanding why they can’t go to the hospital and promises to see what he can do.

And then there’s nothing else for them to do but go home. Go home and wash off the dust, and scoop what’s left into Esme’s vases (urns, now). Alice folds their dirty clothes and puts them in a box without a word, and he watches her collect dust from the trim on the coffee table, from the gaps between the floorboards, with a tiny paintbrush so that every grain of his beautiful wife is collected.

Then he takes her to where Jasper fell and she doesn’t say anything. There’s no way to tell what dust and dirt is Jasper and what is the forest, and there’s nothing here for her to gather in her hands and hold tight. They sit for awhile, just staring at the spot.

“If Maria survived, it’s going to be bad,” she manages as the light begins to fade. “And if the Volturi…”

They walk home at a human pace, and they both start to notice things that they missed before; the stillness of the forest, suddenly amiss half its animals. The sparseness of the trees, of the ground. As they make it home, the day sinking into night, he notices half of Esme’s gardens just gone, as if waiting for someone to plant them fresh, when they were in full bloom less than a day ago.

There’s a small figure waiting on the back porch, in dirty denim cut-offs. He looks smaller than last time they saw him, only weeks ago.

Seth Clearwater swallows hard when he sees them, and they can tell by the look on his face that whatever, whoever is left on the Res, it certainly isn’t his family and friends, and Emmett is overwhelmingly sad for the kid that had to come to his natural enemies for safe haven.

“The pack,” Seth begins. “It’s only me, and Colin, and Brady left. And at home, it’s only me.”

Alice moves too fast, and pulls him into a tight hug, and Seth hugs her back, despite the stench.

“I figured you might know something about what’s happened,” Seth continues, and he’s trying so hard not to cry, he’s giving Emmett a headache. “I left Colin and Brady back to protect the Res, and came to find help.”

He wants so badly to promise this kid it’s going to fine, that they’ll find a Tardis, a time-turner, a fucking goddess of time and rewind everything to stop this from happening but his wife is nothing but dirt, and his sister looks like a broken marionette, and there’s a wolf pup looking so desperate and hopeful that the words die on his tongue.

Alice smiles at him, kindly, for for a second she looks like herself. That lost, glassy look she’s worn all day has faded back inside her, and he hopes it stays there.

“Come in, Seth,” she says, and motions that they both follow her in through the door he broke that morning. “I think we’ve got food.”

Emmett takes off his boots before he goes inside (just like Esme always nagged for him to and he never remembered), and he wonders if the others are up there, laughing their asses off that the House of Cullen has crumbled and all that’s left is a broken psychic, an underage shapeshifter, and the guy with his wife in a jar.

He thinks it might even be funny to someone.

[hyungbean]

Hold On | Jasper Hale X Wolf!Reader

Summary: When the impossible becomes your reality. Imprinting on Jasper Hale was anything but rainbows and sunshines, because he already had someone else.

Genre: ANGST

Pairing: Jasper Hale x Reader, WolfPack!Family x Reader 

A/N: I recommend listening to ‘Good For You’ by Selena Gomez while reading this. Also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN !

Your bleary eyes could barely stay open as the dim room around you seemed to be closing in, the floating dust stinging your eyes and clogging you ears. Your abdomen curled with pangs of sadness and anger, anger at the world. It felt like you were burning from the inside out, like at any moment you would combust into smoke and fire. 

Tears kept streaming down your exhausted face as excruciating headaches kept your head pounding and made you dizzy constantly. You could faintly hear Emily and Sam quietly talking next to you, their voices causing a ringing in your ears, yet you had no idea what they were saying. 

Emily patted your sweating face with the wet cloth again, sighing sadly at you. The world loved to fuck with your emotions. Imprinting was supposed to be like a dream come true, soulmates, you loved the idea of them. Having someone that was tied to you, someone to protect and love for life.

No one knew it was even possible to have an imprintee reject their imprinter. But you were somewhat living proof that it could happen. Your imprintee Jasper, a fucking vampire nonetheless, had just crushed your soul. It felt like someone had tied you down and wouldn’t stop kicking you in the chest, no matter how much you begged slowly crushing your bones over and over again.

Sam was the only one who could understand slightly the pain you were in, but obviously not to this extent as Emily soon caved in. It had been a week since the eventful day when you were training with the Cullens when you accidentally imprinted on the blonde soldier. 

He was quick to coldly reject you and leave you alone in the cold woods, ears flat on head and heart pouring out all the warmth it had. Love fucking sucked. He didn’t even want to be your friend. 

Edward visited a couple of times with Bella, who you had grown close to. And according to them Jasper and Alice weren’t even mates. Edward said that Jasper didn’t want to reject you and treat you so coldly, but he was scared. He didn't even know what rejection could even spiral into for the imprinters, but Sam and the pack didn’t care. They wanted to rip the no good leech into a million pieces. 

Jasper is just scared of change. You should see how miserable he is.

You recalled Edward saying while patting your head gently. Well Jasper should see how fucking miserable I am. 

Letting out a whimper, you turn a little to look at Emily and your Alpha. 

“It hurts like a bitch.” You tried to laugh but it ended in a dry heave.

Emily was about to start crying seeing her best friend in pain, Sam could only cringe because he couldn’t do anything for the girl he grew to love like a little sister. 

“Guys... hear me out... you need to help them fight the newborns. They need the pack.” Sam growled, pacing, “absolutely not. I will not help those leeches, I was hesitant at first and now I know they are no good for us. Just look at that one bloodsucker did to you!”

“Me imprinting was not my choice or his, Sam. You should know that better than any of us. But that doesn’t stop how I feel for him. I can't protect him or his family, so please do it for me.”

Sam begrudgingly nods after a few minutes, kissing my forehead before he and Emily leave, leaving me in the darkness of the room and the darkness clouding my mind. The pain was bordering on unbearable. Something in you was tugging at you to just stop it.

You sobbed, tears burning your eyes as your chest ached with the burden of rejection.

Just end it. 

You have the power to stop the pain, why prolong the inevitable.

He doesn’t need you. The pack sure as hell doesn’t need to deal with your suffering.

You turn to face the wall, suppressing these thoughts. Soon you heard the boys starting to leave, they came in one by one to talk to you, not knowing what the fight would bring.

“Hey Y/N, don’t worry we can take these bloodsuckers. Say the word and we’ll take out the other ones too.” Paul said softly, gripping your hand. 

“You know you're not allowed to hurt my imprintee.”

He scoffed, “he’s a fucking lousy excuse for one to be quite honest.” you laugh gently, patting his hands, weakness coursing through your veins. 

As soon as all the boys had left Emily said she had to go get some things from the store quickly. 

“Love you darling. The boys will try to talk to some elders around to see if we can do anything.” She had said before heading out.

Moments after you were sure she was gone, it was as if you were being possessed, you sat up suddenly in a daze, suddenly overcome with unknown adrenaline. 

You wiped the sweat away, and walked to put your shoes on. 

“I need to go outside. Yes, some air would be nice.” You could hear yourself mumble, strolling out and breathing in the slightly salty air, the breeze flowing through your hair, kissing your face. The crunching of leaves and pine needles under your shoes was relaxing as your body seemed to move you in a familiar path but you were too blissed out to realize where you were going. 

Soon you found you were on the the cliff the pack used to cliff dive off of. The serene view calmed you as you sat down, taking in the earth around you.

The pain seemed dull as you looked up at the sky above you, it seemed to speak to you, reaching out for you. 

Why should I hold on to someone who wants nothing to do with me?

you could faintly see the day you joined the pack years ago, easily the best day of your life. 

‘ what is your name? ‘ the black wolf in front of you radiated power, as you bowed your head slightly. You had trespassed on their territory while running from a nomad blood sucker. 

‘Y/N L/N. Please I mean no harm, I was just running from a nomad. I will leave quickly.’ 

He seemed to consider this before turning to his pack, “how old are you kid?’

‘I’m almost 15.’ 

Another wolf stepped up, ‘Sam she’s just a kid.’ 

‘Obviously Paul. Do you need a pack Y/N?’ 

And then it slowly changed to a vision of the first time you went cliff diving on the cliff you were laying on now.

‘uh.. are you sure I’m not going to die? I mean do you see how high this cliff is?’ 

‘don’t worry Y/N, I’ll go first and wait down there if anything goes wrong.’ Paul said ruffling my hair before diving off with a hoot. 

‘don’t sweat it Y/N you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.’ Embry said, patting my back reassuringly. 

You shake your head suddenly rushing forward and diving off, hearing a hooting Paul below you. 

As you hit the water the vision changes to the one memory you dreaded the absolute most.

‘Y/N. We could never work out okay? We’re from two different worlds.’ You could see the slight regret in his eyes. 

‘Is she even your mate?’ 

‘Just drop it Y/N. After this fight, we won’t see each other again. It’s for the best. Please just.. drop it. I love Alice.’ You could see some doubt starting to pool in his eyes as tears pooled in yours. You could feel an ache developing in your chest, the need for his touch never stronger. 

‘ you don’t mean that.’ you try to walk towards him. 

He steps away, ‘goodbye Y/N.’ He speeds off and you lean on a tree for support, hyperventilating as your chest constricts violently. 

Your teeth are bared as you throw your head back letting a gut wrenching scream out. Birds flying out of the tree above you, as you helplessly fall to the dirt, letting grief consume you. And then pain started coming in waves of endless burning.

fuck you Jasper Hale.

The vision fades but nothing appears after, not another memory, not the sky. You hear the waves crashing and the birds chirping and you faintly hear a howl in the distance. And not much longer the world fades to nothing as the waves stop crashing with the broken heart that stopped beating.

Yes, I think I’ll let it all go now. 

[specialagentlokitty]

Who I write for//requests

I’m looking for requests if you aren’t sure of rules or such feel free to ask!!

MARVEL

* Tony

* Steve

* Wanda

* Bucky

* Thor

* Bruce

* Nat

* Clint

* Phil

* Loki

* Peter

* MJ

* Logan

TWILIGHT

* Carlisle

* Rosalie

* Alice

* Jasper

* Paul

* Billy

* Garrett

NCIS/NOLA

* Gibbs

* Tony

* Ziva

* Abby

* Ducky

* Bishop

* Sloane

* Nick

CRIMINAL MINDS

* Hotch

* Derek

* Rossi

* Spencer

* JJ

* Emily

* Garcia

CASTLE

* Castle

* Kate

THE MENTALIST

* Patrick

* Grace

* Lisbon

* Rigsby

SUPERNATURAL

* Dean

* Sam

* Chuck

* Crowley

* Gabriel

* Balthazar

* Charlie

* Castiel

* Lucifer

LUCIFER(FOX)

* Lucifer

* Dan

* Maze

THE HOBBIT/LOTR

* Thorin

* Bilbo

* Legolas

* Fili

* Kili

* Thranduil

* Elrond

* Lindir

* Aragorn

* Boromir

* Faramir

* Pippin

* Merry

* Sam

* Frodo

BBC MERLIN

* Arthur

* Merlin

* Leon

* Gwaine

* Lancelot

* Percival

* Gwen

BBC SHERLOCK

* Sherlock

* John

* Mycroft

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

* Diego

MY HERO ACADEMIA

* Midoriya (Deku)

* Aizawa

* Todoroki

* Present Mic

* Iida

* Kirishima

* Kaminari

* Bakugo

* Toshinori(all might)

BLUE EXORCIST

* Rin

* Yukio

* Bon

* Mephisto

* Amiamon

TOKYO GHOUL

* Kenaki

* Arima

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

* Zuko

* Aang

* Sokka

* Iroh

ATTACK ON TITAN

* Levi

* Eren

* Erwin

* Arwin

BLACK BUTLER

* Claude

* William

* Sebastian

* Undertaker

NORIGAMI

* Yato

* Yukine

THE WITCHER

* Geralt

* Jaskier

DOCTOR WHO

* 9th Doctor

* 10th Doctor

* 11th doctor

* 12th Doctor

* River

* Amy

* Rory

* Clara

BROOKLYN NINE NINE

* Jake

* Rosa

THE GOOD DOCTOR

* Jared

* Claire

* Melendez

* Shaun

* Alex Park

TEEN WOLF

* Derek

* Stiles

* Scott

* Issac

* Peter

GREYS ANATOMY

* Derek shepherd

* Cristina Yang

* Mark Sloan

* Owen Hunt

* Jackson Avery

* Alex Karev

* Arizona Robbins

HOUSE MD

* Gregory house

* James Wilson

* Lisa Cuddy

BONES

* Seeley booth

* Lance Sweets

THE ARCANA

*Julian

*Muriel

*Asra

*Lucio

*Nadia

*Portia

Random prompts (you don’t need a prompt to requests just ask!)

1. “Don’t say goodbye...”

2. “Nothing impossible, we’ve all got that dreamers disease.”

3. “You only love yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can treat everyone like crap.”

4. “Lonely? I guess you could say I’m lonely, but sometimes lonely is better.”

5. “Look, I’m not having this debate with you right now.”

6. “We’ve all got blood on our hands, be it our own or someone else’s.”

7. “I really don’t care what you have to say, it won’t make me come back. I know full well your words are as empty as your heart.” “What if I can prove they’re not?”

8. “Don’t fuck with me, otherwise someone’s going to get hurt.”

9. “Bad? I prefer morally incorrect.”

10. “Stop living in your head! This is the real world! This is what a real bad guy is!”

11. “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying.” “I just don’t care about what you have to say.”

12. “Bite me.”

13. “Why are you so horrible to me?” “I’m nicer to you than to anyone else.”

14. “I’ve still got something left to prove.”

15. “You’re the only thing that’s been real...”

16. “I’ll always find my way back to you. Always.”

17. “There’s nothing in this I wouldn’t do to protect you, okay?”

18. “If I lose you... I... lose everything... you’re all that’s left...”

19. “I’ve seen my fair share of misery, heartache. I don’t want that.” “Then let me show you happiness, and love.”

20. “Shes/he’s a ticking time bomb, one wrong move and it’s all over.”

21. “Just one date, that’s all I ask.”

22. “We found you guys asleep on the floor.”

23. “I know what I want, and I’m going to take it all. Who’s going to stop me?” “I am.” “Won’t be much of a fight now, would it?”

24. “Stop pointing your gun at me.” “Stop trying to arrest me.”

25. “Everyone wants something, nothing comes for free.”

26. “You’re a monster!” “So? Never seen a monster before~”

27. “I was always here! Always! Never once did you even think about me!”

28. “I can smell your fear, don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you... unless I have to.”

29. “I feel like a monster.”

30. “Nightmares? I am Everyone nightmare.”

31. “I would walk to the end of the universe then back if it meant I could have even one more second by your side.”

32. “You don’t believe in monsters do you?” “Of course not!” “I do~”

33. “What are you hiding from me? What are you so desperately trying to keep hidden. I want to help.”

34. “You’re a fucking ass.” “I know.” “And I love you.” “I know.”

35. “It’s cold, are you okay?”

36. “Put a jacket on idiot.”

37. “She/he lost her/his memory....” “stay with her/him... even if it hurts you...”

38. “This is the end...”

39. “The damage is done... it’s too late...”

40. “I would have done anything...”

41. “I would have loved you all my life...”

42. “Maybe in your next life you’ll be safe... you won’t be in danger...”

43. “Where have you gone?”

44. “Remember when we were kids, and I promised to always keep you safe? I’m sorry I broke it...”

45. “H.. hold.. me...” “of course darling, you’re not alone, I’m here, it’s okay... rest now...”

46. “Wake up! Please!...” he/she sobbed, “just wake up...”

47. “If I could b honest, right here right now, I’m nervous.” “Why?” “Because I... love you.”

48. “It’s always been us against the world, always.”

49. “It’s not my time... I’ve.. still got loads to do...”

50. “Look, I’m sorry I lied. I can’t take it back, but I can make it up to you.”

51. “I wonder if I’ll ever see her/him again.” “It’s been years since you have.” “I’ll wait.”

52. “I’ve got you, I’m not letting go.”

53. “Stop being stubborn and let me help!”

54. “All this time I wanted to hate you, but I never could.”

55. “How do you know he/she’s still alive?” “I can feel it.”

56. “Just give me time! Please!”

57. “I miss the way the sun used to shine on you so perfectly.”

58. “How do I tell him I love him?” “Don’t, he’ll only hurt you. You don’t deserve that.”

59. “We’re all broken in some way.”

60. “Everting seems so dull...”

[wish-ful-thinking513]

Here’s another story based off a prompt by @lgbtqwritingprompts. I feel like I didn’t go where I wanted to, but that’s alright! I hope it’s enjoyable anyways.

Tw for putting something in a drink (it’s a potion, but I feel like that can still be triggering).

“And you’re sure this will work?” Jack said, holding up the bottle. The pink liquid inside shimmered. 

“Of course it will work. No one is immune to a love potion,” the peddler responded. “Just a drop will do. Put it into her drink, and she’ll fall head over heels.”

Jack contemplated this for a moment, then pulled out a gold coin. “I’ll take it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alice sighed as she flopped down into a chair. It had been a long day at work -- maybe she should hire more employees? It was starting to get more popular, afterall. It would be nice to have someone to run the tea shop with. Yeah, hiring someone would be a good idea.

The bell above the door chimed, and Alice looked up. “Jack? Y’know it’s nearly closing time, right?”

“I know. I’m not here as a customer,” he paused to give a soft smile. “I’m here to visit a friend!”

“Oh,” Alice smiled back. “Well, that’s alright then. Do you want me to pour you some tea?”

“Alice!” Jack laughed. “I told you, I’m not here as a customer. Now, stay sitting down. I’ll pour you a cup!”

Alice raised an eyebrow. “You’ll pour me a cup? Alright, if you insist… Do you know where everything is?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Of course I do! I’m always here. Do you really think I wouldn’t know this by now?”

“...I suppose you’re probably right.”

“What kind do you want?”

“Meh, jasmin is fine.”

“Alright!” Jack poured water into a mug and started looking through the jars of dried herbs lined up on the wall. “It’s been a while since I last saw you. How’ve you been?”

Alice sighed a long, deep sigh. “Well, business is booming. That’s supposed to be good, right?”

“I’d say so.”

“Then how come it doesn’t feel like that?”

“...Come again?”

“I just feel tired and overworked. I don’t think I’ve ever been this stressed out!” Alice sat up straight, making direct eye contact with Jack. “I think I’m starting to get grey hairs.”

“What? You’re only 25!”

“I swear to you, Jack, I saw it!”

“Maybe you just need a vacation or something?”

Alice scoffed. “In this economy? I’m finally getting enough coins to pay rent!”

“...Maybe you need help?”

Alice smiled. “Y’know, I was thinking the same thing.”

Jack smiled back. “I mean, I’m stuck in a dead end job, anyways. I wouldn’t mind-”

“Wait, whoa, what? Jack, you’re not serious.”

Jack shrugged. “I know my way around the place. And like I just said, I am not a fan of working in a fairy dust factory.”

Alice was silent. “... Well, you’re right… but take some time to think about it more. I don’t want to hire you if this is just a spontaneous thing.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“... Jack, you always do things like this. When was the last time you actually thought through anything?”

“I think through shit all the time!”

“You literally went on a trip to the other side of the world without saying anything to anyone!”

“...It was for something important, okay?”

“...Jack, are you alright?”

Jack turned away, not wanting to look at his friend. “Yeah… yeah, I’m alright. It’s just… Can we not talk about it?”

“...Yeah. Yeah, alright. I’ll drop it. But… just think about it more, alright?”

Jack nodded. “Okay.” He pulled the bottle out of his front pocket and poured a few drops into the tea. The liquid turned pink for a second, then returned back to normal. He took a deep breath and walked the cup over to Alice. 

“Thanks!” She smiled, taking a sip. 

Jack stared intently, holding his breath. 

Alice looked up. “What?”

Jack blinked rapidly. Did it not work? “Nothing… How are you feeling?”

“...Confused.”

Jack laughed nervously. “Sorry…” 

“Yeah… Jack, you’re acting weird. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all!”

“...You made jasmin, right?”

Jack gulped. “Y-yeah. Why do you ask?”

Alice swirled the tea around. “I don’t know. It just tastes… off.”

Jack froze. This was it. He was done for.

“It tastes like…” Alice looked up again, dread washing over her face. “Oh no. No, Jack, you didn’t.”

Jack didn’t answer. 

“I can’t believe you, Jack! Why would you do this?”

A tear began to trickle down his cheek. “...Because I love you, Alice.”

Alice was silent as she glared daggers at Jack. 

“I… I wanted you to love me back…” 

“So you used a love potion on me?”

Jack looked down at his shoes. 

“Do you know what I am, Jack?”

“Uh… an elf?”

Alice sighed. “I’m an aromantic lesbian.”

“An…” Jack’s mouth went dry. “Oh my gods. Alice, I-I didn’t know!” Alice was still glaring. “I wouldn’t have done that if I had known! I’m so sorry!”

“You realise it’s fucked up no matter what, right? The fact that you would even do this is fucked up.”

Jack nodded. “Yeah… yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“‘Suppose’?”

“Er, no, you are right.”

The two were silent for a moment. 

“Sooo… I’m guessing it has no effect on  you?”

“Nope.”

“...Do you hate me now?”

Alice sighed. “Jack, I don’t think I could ever hate you,” she ran a hand through her hair. “But I’m super fucking pissed at you.”

“...That’s… fair…”

“And I don’t think I can be around you anymore.”

Jack’s head shot up. “What? No!”

“Yes, Jack. What you did is unforgivable.”

“No, no, Alice, no! I can’t lose you!”

Alice crossed her arms. “Should have thought about that before buying that potion.”

Jack buried his face in his hands and started to sob. 

Another sigh. “Maybe we can rebuild our friendship someday. But not now. Now, I need some time away from you.”

Jack wiped the tears away and nodded. He stood up. “Goodbye, Alice.”

“Bye,” Alice said curtly. 

Jack stood there for a moment, then walked out the door. Alice didn’t watch him go. 

After a moment, Alice stood up and poured out the tea. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I do need a vacation. She turned off the lights and locked the doors, then went upstairs to her apartment to sleep.

[forwhycas]

Oh, What a World (part 1)

Hello all, obviously my roger fic never got completed but i’ve been working on a Joe fic that has been finished and edited, with the help of my very good friend! No warning’s for this chapter, although maybe some swearing? 

********************************************************************************

 You met Joe at a café you used to go to almost every day after your 4 pm class. It took you a few weeks to introduce yourself to him. You first noticed his laugh; you were listening to your study playlist which consisted nothing but classical music and you heard this loud. You rolled your eyes as you looked up to see who it was; you were going to shoot whoever it was a glare, but he was gorgeous. He had this wide smile, and golden hair. You smiled to yourself, turned up your music and got back to work. After that day you started to notice him more and more. The day you introduced yourself he was reading Poe, one of your favorites.

 “Hi, sorry to interrupt but I see you here a lot and wanted to introduce myself, I’m Charlie.” He was sitting down and he got up to shake your hand and motioned for you to sit down with him.

 “I’m Joe, nice to meet you.” You sat down and placed your bag on the floor. He smiled at you and put his book down, the wrong way in your opinion, pages down, damaging the spine.

 “I admire your taste in authors…” You pulled the same book out of your bag and put it on the table.

 “I’m currently on A Dream Within A Dream.”

 “I’m on The Sleeper.” He grinned at you and you too got to talking about basic stuff, he asked if you went to school, or if you were a local. You told him it was your first few months here and that you were a transfer NYU grad student.

 “Where do you go to school?” He chuckled a little.

 “I’m flattered you think I look young enough to be in school, but I finished school a while ago, I’ve just lived in the city most of my life.”

 “So what school did you go to?”

 “University of Southern California, I graduated in 2005, loooong time ago.”

 “God in 2005 I was in middle school…”

 “Way to make a man feel even older, Charlie.” He smirked at you, picked up his book and folded the corner of the page he was on. You inwardly cringed. Your phone started to vibrate reminding you about your second class of the night; astrology.

 “Well Joe, it was nice meeting you, I’m here almost all the time after my 4 o’clock class, so feel free to join me anytime, I have to get back to campus.”

 “Will do, enjoy the rest of your day!” You threw him a peace sign over your shoulder, suddenly feeling more energized for astronomy.

 A few days later you were sitting in your usual spot and felt someone staring at you, so you looked up and Joe was sitting at his usual spot as well. You motioned for him to come and sit with you.

 “Hey, hope I’m not interrupting anything…” He motioned to the cluttered table in front of you, flash cards and notes taking over the small table you sat beside. You shook your head no and ended up taking an hour long break before he headed out to go home. You started to sit with Joe almost every time you went to the café and started to get to know him a little better. He was nice and had a great sense of humor; super sarcastic and a little bit dark, but always playful. He always had the warmest smile displayed, and after a long 2 hour lecture, being with him for just a few minutes your mood would instantly spike.

 “Hey did you maybe want to join my friends and I for a movie tomorrow night?” You asked Joe as he was putting his book away. He looked shocked and stopped what he was doing.

 “Um yea, what movie?”

 “Oh it’s just Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, it’s re-playing at The Paris tomorrow night at 6.”

 “The Paris! Love that place, I’ll definitely be there!” You had just gotten done packing up and wrote down your number on a crumbled up receipt before you wished him a good rest of his night.

 You were just getting out of the shower when your phone pinged, it was a new number.

 “Hi it’s Joe, I forgot what time you said to meet you at The Paris for?”

 “Hey J! 6 o’clock!”

 You decided to dress comfortably since the movie was 2 and a half hours long, you pulled on your most worn in pair of jeans and a hoodie, grabbed your wallet and left for the 4 block journey. You found Joe waiting in the lobby for you.

 “Joe!” He took his hands out of his pockets and gave you a small wave and of course his signature smile.

 “Hey, how was your day?”

 “Boring. I had to sit through a bunch of presentations this afternoon, one of them about black holes, and if I’m being honest, if it wasn’t for the painfully attractive person presenting it I would have fallen asleep.”

 You felt someone’s arm drape over your shoulder.

 “You think I’m painfully attractive?”

 Dean kissed your cheek and shook hands with Joe, you blushed and when you saw Joe lift an eyebrow at you. You explained to Joe how Dean was a good friend and the smartest in your astrology class. Just then the rest of your friends walked in together being loud per usual. Dean from astrology, Laura from stats of psych, and Adam and Dylan from creative writing. All of you were different majors and that’s probably the reason why all of you got on so well. After introducing your small group of friends to Joe while waiting in line for your tickets, everyone dispersed to go get different food. Joe followed closely behind you.

 “I like your friends, they’re all so…”

 “Loud? Childish?”

 “I was going to say different, also you guys are all children to me, but I can tell all of you are polar opposites.”

 “Well I’m the oldest of the group, everyone else are just super smart juniors taking grad courses.” You grabbed a bag of skittles while Joe grabbed some gummy bears, and when he automatically paid for your skittles, you gave him a pouty look.

 “I’m gonna slide money into your pocket while you’re not looking during the movie.” He matched your look and leaned down to your level. You two stared at each other like that for a few seconds before you burst out laughing. You found your friends and all took your seats.

 “If I fall asleep, just wake me up for the sad ending please.”

 “How the hell can you fall asleep in a movie theater?”

 “I can honestly fall asleep anywhere.” You shrugged but he agreed. You didn’t end up falling asleep but you did cry at the ending like you always did, when everyone raised their wands you audibly sobbed. You felt Joe looking over at you but you didn’t care. After everything was over and the lights came on, Dean was the first person to say something.

 “Well I need a fucking drink after that, anyone care to join?” You laughed and shook your head.

 “I have an exam first thing in the morning, I’m gonna head home.” He shook his head and gave you a disapproving look.

 “Oh Boo! Charlie when are you gonna finally get trashed with us?”

 “I did enough drinking my first two years, thank you very much.” You said shuddering at the memory.

 “But Charlie, how are you ever going to find out how amazing drunk sex is with me…” Dean teased.

 “Right on that note I’m gonna leave, Joe be a gem and walk me home?” He nodded and said goodbye to everyone.

 “So your friends are cool…”

 “No my friends are fucking weird, I’m so sorry about Dean by the way, he’s too much sometimes.” Joe snickered. He commented on how you sobbed like a little bitch when Dumbledore died, and you gave him a hurt look and called him a psycho for not crying.

 “Anyways this is me, thanks for joining us, also thanks for paying for my candy, much appreciated.” You smiled up at him, and reached up on your tippy toes to hug him.

 “Hey anytime, I had fun, definitely have to do it again soon.” He smiled and went on his way. A few hours later your phone pinged.

 Joey: I don’t know how I didn’t notice you putting three dollars into my sweatshirt pocket.

Charlie: What can I say, I’m sly as fuck!

 You chuckled and plugged in your phone and continued studying for your exam.

  A few weeks later you were studying for yet another exam when your phone started to vibrate, it was Joe.

 “Hey Joe, what’s up?”

 “Just hanging out, wondering if you wanted to come by and watch a movie?”

 “Can I bring all my stuff with me? I promise I’ll watch the movie but I’m still going over my lecture notes…”

 “Yea of course, I’ll text you my address.” He hung up and you started to pack up your stuff. 20 minutes later you were at his place. You texted him and he came down to get you.

 “Jesus Joe! Where the hell do you work to have such a nice place and are they hiring?” He chuckled nervously.

 “Have you ever seen Jurassic Park?”

 “Dumb question, but yes, classic film.”

 “Look up the cast…”

 “I only remember Jeff Goldblum, what a daddy.” You did though and sure enough, Joe’s name popped up.

 “No way! You played cute little Tim!”

 “I did.”

 “That’s cool! Well this explains the nice place, what else have you been in?” He started naming a few, and your eyes widened when he said that he even directed a few short films and a whole movie. “Well, guess I’m friends with an actor slash director now.” You shrugged and he smiled at you, he led you to the living room and you set up your stuff and started to make flash cards as he found a movie. A few minutes later he was slowly grabbing away all the stuff in front of you, your computer, flash cards, pens, books.

 “After this I’ll go over the flashcards with you if you want?”

 “Yes please.”

 Alice in Wonderland started and you smiled, it was one of your favorites.

 “Joe this is one of my favorites, have you been stalking me? Or do you just have really good taste?” He smirked as he sat down next to you.

 “Definitely have not been stalking you, I just haven’t watched it in a while, and you can’t go wrong with a Disney movie!” Just as Alice fell down the rabbit hole, Joe jumped up scaring the shit out of you.

 “Sorry I forgot about the skittles! I’ll be right back…” You ended up laying down on your back, head facing the tv, and when he came back he gave you the warmest smile. You sighed as you started to shuffle to get up.

 “No, don’t get up I’ll just scoot myself next to you, if that’s ok?” You nodded and he handed you the bag as he positioned himself laying next to you on the large sectional, you ended up just laying on top of him a few minutes later, his hands playing with your hair, causing your eyes to flutter close.

 “As relaxing as your hands running through my hair feels, I’ll fall asleep on you at any given moment…”

 “So sleep, I’m not going anywhere, I’m just here to make sure you get a study break.”

 “If I fall asleep, which I probably will, make sure to wake me up when Alice is done with her acid trip so I can study…” Joe lost it, and you couldn’t help but laugh with him.

 “Will do.” He continued to play with your hair and you couldn’t fight it, between studying basically all day and really not sleeping much, your eyes closed.

 “Charlie…Charlie?”

 “Hmmmm, yes?”

 “Do you want some coffee?” You smiled and nodded up at him with your eyes still closed. You got off of him and stretched then followed him into his kitchen, you hopped up on his counter as he started a pot of coffee.

 “Please tell me I didn’t snore.”

 “No you were pretty silent, you passed out super quick. When was the last time you got some solid sleep?” Your eyebrows raised, as you thought about it. “It’s sad you have to think about that answer.” You shushed him and put your hand over his mouth as you thought about it. He swatted your hand away when you started to yawn.

 “Well today’s Friday? So Wednesday night I slept for probably 4 hours, ever since then I’ve been wired for my exam next week.”

 “What are you doing tomorrow?”

 “Studying…maybe a nap. Who knows, I’m very nocturnal these days.”

 “How about you take a break from studying and we can do something?” You instantly knew your answer. The word yes was just echoing in your subconscious.

 “I would love to take a study break and hang out with you, what do you have in mind?”

 “I can take you on a typical tour of the city?”

 “So like times square? Central Park? The museums?”

  “Yea! I love taking new people for a tour.”

 “That actually sounds really nice…I’m all yours tomorrow, also please tell me you have almond milk or something other than cream to put in that coffee, I’m lactose intolerant and don’t feel like going through the stomach pain.”

 “Me too actually, I have half and half and some vanilla almond milk, which do you prefer?”

 “Vanilla please.”

 “Sugar?” You nodded your head. He handed you your coffee, and off you guys went to the couch again. You sat opposite of him and he started to read off the flash cards to you. First round was rough, the second round was much better and by the third you knew all the answers. You got up to stretch, and started to gather your stuff.

 “Alright I could use a shower, where and when do you wanna meet up tomorrow?”

 “Well, if you're up for getting up semi-early, I can make you breakfast in the morning? I make a pretty damn good omelette.” You looked up at him from gathering your stuff.

 “How early?”

 “How about 9?”

 “Yea 9 sounds good!” He helped you gather the rest of your stuff and walked you to the lobby, he gave you a small lecture on how sleep was important all the way down in the elevator.

 “Ok, bye dad!”

 “OK, ew, please never call me dad again! But seriously get some sleep.” You gave him a quick side hug and started off for your apartment. When you arrived there was a note on your door from your neighbor asking you to feed her cat. You walked next door and got her spare key from under her door mat she always left for you to use. You saw Garry as you walked in and he purred at you as you bent down to scratch his ears. You picked him up and decided to facetime Joe. After a few seconds he picked up.

 “Did you miss me that much?”

 “Don’t flatter yourself, I just wanted to show you my neighbors overweight cat Garry! Look at this fucker!” You moved your phone farther away and Garry was rubbing his face into your curly mess of hair.

 “Well fuck, that is a large cat, also Garry? That’s such a human name for a cat!” He smiled warmly as you put Garry down.

 “I know right! Ugh alright I’m gonna go shower to get all of this Garry hair off of me!”

 “You do that, I’ll see you at 9, bring your appetite!”

 “Will do, night Joe.”

 He hung up, and you did your nightly routine. In the morning your alarm went off for 8, and you awoke to a text from Joe.

 Joey: I just realized I don’t have any eggs left, could you grab some on your way over?

Charlie: Yea of course, anything else?

Joey: Wear comfortable shoes, a lot of walking today, see you soon.

Charlie: Got it, comfy shoes, I’ll be there soon.

 You nodded to yourself as you went to your shoe tray to get your running shoes on. 

After a filling breakfast with Joe, you automatically started to clean up.

 “What are you doing?”

 “Force of habit…you have a dishwasher, lucky bitch.”

 He laughed and helped you put everything away.

 “Right, so kid, let me show you the city!”

 “Kid? Joe, how old do you think I am?”

 “23?”

 “I’m flattered, but I’m 25.”

 “How old do you think I am?”

 “You have to at least be 30.”

 “33, I’m old.”

 “I mean you’re older than me, but not old. Old is 70 and up.” He laughed while shaking his head.

 “Right, so when I’m 70 and you're still in your 60’s you're gonna shame me for being old?”

 “Exactly!” He shook his head back and forth while tying up his nikes, and when he rose he put his hands on his hips and looked at you. You slyly snapped a picture.

 “Why are you laughing at me?”

 “I’m sorry but stay just like that….look at this!” He looked at your phone and he raised his eyebrows in confusion while you still laughed. You steadied yourself by putting a hand on his chest. “You look like, I’m sorry let me catch my breath…” You looked up at him and started to laugh again. “Ok I think I’m good! You look like a soccer dad…it’s the Nikes!” He looked at the picture again and then at you, his face dropped giving you a grumpy look. “I’m sorry, I just, FUCK!” You started to laugh again, putting your other hand on his chest now, his head fell backwards and he rolled his eyes.

 “Are you done?” He grabbed your hands away from him and you fell forward a bit, your head hitting his chest now, still laughing. Joe couldn’t help but inwardly melt when he heard your laugh, his heart racing, a blush spreading across his face. He grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you a bit. “You are completely overtired aren’t you?” He looked into your pale green eyes.

 “Yes, ok I think I’m good now, I’m saving this picture forever. Atually I’m gonna set it as your contact picture.” He looked over your shoulder as you did so and his face scrunched up when he saw what his name is in your phone.

 “Joey? Really?”

 “Hey it was either that or Mojo Jojo but Joey made me laugh more!”

 “I can’t even think of anything funny for your name, it’ll come to me though.”

 You guys went outside and it got windy real quick, you were miserably cold, Joe noticed this and he wrapped his scarf around you. You smiled up at him and thanked him. “Hate to be that person but can you show me a cool store that has heat so I can regain the feeling in my fingertips?” You reached one of your hands out of your jacket pocket and placed it on the side of his face, he was so warm. “How the hell are you so warm right now!” He moved his face away, and grabbed your free hand, pulling you into the nearest place, which happened to be Five Below. He let go of your hand, and you pouted and grabbed it again.

 “If you keep touching me with your frigidly cold hands then I won’t be warm anymore!” You gave him a sweet smile and he rolled his eyes at you. “Fine, but we’re buying you gloves.” You found the winter section and chose a nice pair of purple gloves with a scarf that matched, you took Joe’s scarf off and wrapped it back around his neck.

 “Thanks for letting me borrow this Joey, but I think I look more badass in this shade of purple.” Joes nose scrunched up, something that made your heart pound. “I should get snacks while we’re here!” You turned on your heel and started to search, you found some kind bars and got 6 different boxes. Joe raised his eyebrows at you. “I know what you’re thinking, but I lack fiber in my diet so these help, also yes I’m slightly obsessed with them.” You shrugged and then walked around to look at other things. You ended up losing Joe for a good 10 minutes just because you were bouncing around from aisle to aisle. When you found him you had a pile of stuff in your arms. “Look at all the cool stuff I found!” Joe grabbed some stuff from your arms to help out. “I got all these kind bars, a cool clock in the shape of an avocado to put in my kitchen, matching hand towels, I got Garry the fat cat this cool toy, got a 2 pack of purple knee high socks, then a pair of grey sweatpants, you can never have too many pairs of sweatpants!” You were speaking so quickly because you were so excited with all the cool stuff you were getting for such a good price. “I like this store, definitely going to have to come back!”

 “I’m gonna have to help you carry this stuff, aren’t I?” You gave him a wide smile and batted your eyelashes. “That’s what I thought, well thank god you didn’t find the toy section!” Your eyes darted to the floor, and you took a plastic t-rex out of your pocket, you held it up to him.

 “I laughed when I saw it because I thought of you in Jurassic Park, so I’m getting this for you as a token of my appreciation for not only lending your scarf for most of the day, but for helping me with my bags.” You finally were called up to the register and you plopped all of your stuff down. After 5 Below Joe guided you to Times Square, your eyes lit up when you got into the center, it was just starting to get dark and all the colors were so pretty, he stared at you with the cutest smile on his face, biting his lip. You got some pretzels from a nearby truck and sat down and people watched for a little.

 “So what do you think?” Joe asked with a mouthful of food.

 “There’s something comforting about being one person out of millions, also theirs so much to see, we haven’t hit everything yet which is fine because I’m exhausted and I can’t really feel my thighs if I’m being honest. But I like it here, I still miss home and being close to the beach but this busy fast pace lifestyle is great to keep my mind of off shit.” You took a bite of your pretzel.

 “Hate to pry into your life, but what made you transfer to NYU your second year of grad school?” You put down your pretzel and took a sip of Joe’s soda, which he grabbed away from you shortly after.

 “I don’t mind sharing, it’s just a long story, I’ll try to condense for you. Basically I was engaged to my high school sweet heart, we were together since sophomore year and then he popped the question when we graduated college right before we started grad school, then he cheated on me 4 months in, I found out through a mutual friend. He’s now engaged to that woman. I live in a small town and was looking to escape and I was like fuck it I’m applying to NYU, when I got in I packed my car up with as much shit as I could and voila! I’ve been here for 4 months, and now I’m friends with some pretty cool people.” You took a deep breath and took Joe’s soda out of his hand and took a big gulp, then placed it back in his hand. “I left out the dark parts, but that’s the gist of it.”

 “Wow, that’s a lot. Engaged!” His eyes were wide and he was not expecting that, and you loved how you made him speechless. “The dark parts?” His head cocked to the side and gave you a puzzling look.

 “I’ve never really told anyone about the dark parts, still kind of healing from all of that.” You took a deep breath and rested your head on your arm, and yawned.

 “Do you wanna head back? I have left over pasta in my fridge that I’m willing to share with you, but your buying me some beer.” You nodded and chugged the rest of his soda which he was not happy about. He wanted to take the subway back to his, but you convinced him to walk since it was so pretty outside and the wind had died down. You walked arm in arm, pushing through the busy sidewalks, when you made it back to Joe’s you immediately went to his bathroom and put on your thigh high purple socks, the sweatshirt you were wearing under your jacket came down to just above your knees.

 “Joe would it bother you if I didn’t wear pants?” You heard him clear his throat.

 “Do what you want!” he yelled back. So you came out of the bathroom in just your oversized UMASS sweatshirt and purple thigh highs. Joe couldn’t help but look at you from head to toe, which you noticed, but decided to ignore it. “So you’re from Massachusetts? Does this mean you’re a Red Sox fan?” He went back to focusing on stirring the sauce, he was trying not to look at you, specifically the tattoo’s that were peeking out of the tops of the socks.

 “Yup, I could of sworn I told you that? Also I’m more of a fan of football than baseball.” You hopped up onto his counter and crossed your legs. He dropped what he was doing to turn around to look at you.

 “I’m sorry did you just say you like football better than baseball?” He had a crazed look in his eyes, and the water started to boil over, you hopped off the counter and turned the burner down.

 “Yes, I did. Did I hit a nerve in you? Are you a die hard Yankees fan?” He turned to look down at you, still having that crazy look in his eyes, you poked his cheek to see if you broke him. He snapped out of it.

 “Yes, Charlie, look I don’t think this friendship is going to work out if you don’t enjoy baseball, because if I can’t drag you to a Yankees game in the spring then your rarely going to see me.” He added some fresh noodles to the boiling water.

 “Well Joe, looks like I’ll have to start enjoying baseball.” You shrugged and opened a beer to hand it to him, then opened one for yourself. You assumed your position perched up on his counter. Joe smiled to himself while he stirred the sauce again. You guys inhaled the pasta and then sprawled out on the couch. Joe manspreading and you laying down on your back, your legs on his lap. “That was some great sauce, did you make that?”

 “No, my mom was over last weekend and she always brings her homemade sauce for me. I’ll let her know you enjoyed it!” You yawned and closed your eyes for a second. “I know it’s only 8 o’clock but I could knock out right now.” You propped yourself up on your elbows to look at Joe. He responded with his eyes closed as well. “My arms hurt from carrying your bags.”

 “Bullshit!” He chuckled as he stretched his arms out, you watched as his muscles flexed, you bit your lip and let your body fall back again. “I need to get up and go home but I’m honestly way to comfortable to do that at the moment.” Joe through a blanket on you, and you gave him an angry look. “No, take this back!” You flung it on the floor with your foot. “I need to get home and put up this avocado clock in my kitchen ASAP!”

 “That’s what you’ve been thinking about all day! Your fucking weird!”

 “Your right I am weird, but you hang out with me, so what does that say about you?”

 “Get off my couch and put some pants on, go put your avocado clock up!” He patted your thighs that were resting on his lap, then slowly pushed them off.

 “I think your jealous of it!” You said as you got up.

 “I’m not.” You groaned and made your way back to his bathroom to put your jeans back on.

 “I’m gonna leave the other pair of socks here, just promise not to wear them! Where should I put them?” Joe grabbed them and put them in his linen cabinet in an empty spot. “Can I leave these sweatpants here as well?” Joe put his hand out and you handed them to him.

 “Anything else? You wanna leave some kind bars here too?” You flipped him off.

 “I mean your fridge looks pretty bare, maybe I should leave a box here so you don’t starve!” You placed a box of breakfast bars, banana chocolate chunk, next to his coffee machine. “Thanks for being a gracious tour guide, and walking a little slower since I have little legs.”

 “I don’t know about little, I just saw them in those socks, they look pretty long to me.”

 “Joe Mazzello, were you checking me out?” You raised an eye brow at him and smirked. He blushed.

 “In my defense you weren’t wearing pants! But your welcome for going at a slower pace for them. Now go put your avocado clock up!” You reached up on your tippy toes and hugged him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before you were back on your heels again.

 “Hopefully no one tries to take it from me on my long journey home.” Joe smiled and watched you make your way to the elevator. He took the plastic t-rex out of his pocket and put it on a shelf in his living room. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked through the many pictures he took of you throughout the day, you called him ‘your personal photographer’. There were a few on his phone of the two of you standing on the red steps in times square that a stranger took for you guys. He smiled then layed back down on his couch thinking about the day he spent with you and how it quite frankly was one of the best days he’s had in a while.

***************************************************************************************

Let me know how you liked this fluffy chapter!

[freddiesaysalright]

(you know how much i'm so weak with what you write with Gwilym so i have an other request with him) you are his gf, and you work in a bar, you don't know it but he wanted to surprise you and pick you up at your work. when he arrived he didn't know that some guys were saying bad things about you and critiquize you and in front of you. and you left to change because you were finished, and when you went to leave your work they continued, which did not please Gwil at all. 1/2

a little moment later when you are back at home you throw yourself on your bed and you cry and explain after Gwil that you are reliving what you lived younger and you lost all confidence in yourself. 2/2 (The last things is what i live, i live bullying for 9 years, and lost all confidence in me. and you write is a real escape for me ❤)

You’re so sweet, friend. I hope you enjoy this one :)

It was a slow night at the bar. There were only a few patrons, spread out across the chairs, and most of them were alone except for a pair of businessmen sitting together. They were clearly having a meeting since they had ordered food as well as drinks. You walked over to close the tab for a middle aged woman who was a regular.

“Thanks for stopping by, Alice,” you said sweetly as you slid her card back to her. “It’s always good to see you.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” she replied. “You make a martini like no one else.”

She waved goodbye and you went over to the businessmen.

“How is everything for you gentlemen?” you asked.

“It’s okay,” one answered. “Only my meal came out lukewarm.”

“And you forgot my side salad,” the other added.

“I’m so sorry,” you told them. “Here, I’ll have the kitchen make you a fresh plate and I’ll grab that salad for you right away. What dressing did you want?”

“Italian,” he replied.

You took the bad plate and stepped off to go the window and tell the cook what you needed. But you stopped in your tracks when you overheard the men talking about you.

“These bar bimbos are so fucking stupid,” the first one said. “They’re just pretty faces.”

“How can you notice her face when her tits are spilling out of that top?” the second one said with a cruel laugh. “If she thinks showing those off is gonna make her tip any better she’s got another thing coming.”

You didn’t wait to hear anymore and you hurried to the kitchen, tears in your eyes. You went past the dish pit and to the line. The cook, Janet, was there and he was prepping for the morning shift.

“Mi amor, what’s wrong?” she asked, noticing your fallen face.

You shook your head. “It’s nothing. Can you remake this for me?”

You explained to her what the man said about his food and she agreed to make you a new plate. You went to the cooler in the wait station and grabbed  the side salad, pouring some Italian dressing into a ramekin. Just as you were finishing, Janet put the plate in the window, steam floating off of it.

“Here you go, baby,” she said.

“Gracias, mami,” you replied, taking it.

You walked back out. When you did, your sunken heart lifted a little at the sight of Gwilym, your boyfriend. You beamed at him, but you had to deliver the food first.

“Here we go,” you said brightly, placing the food in front of them. “Fresh plate for you and side salad here. Again, so sorry. I took the items off your bill, so just let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks,” one said shortly.

You nodded and floated over to Gwil, who had taken a seat not far from the men.

“And what can I get for you, handsome?” you asked, and you heard the men scoff.

He smiled. “I’ll try the new stout you’ve got on tap.”

“Coming right up!” you said. “Although I really don’t know how you drink those.”

You poured his drink and brought it over to him.

“How’s your day been?” you wondered, leaning over the bar.

“Look at her,” you somehow heard one of the men say. “She really has no shame, huh?”

The other muttered something back, but the only word you heard was “gold digger.”

Gwilym’s eyes snapped to yours. He looked concerned, and like he was about to say something to the men, but you subtly shook your head. They were being rude, of course, but that was part of your job. Although, you hadn’t ever been treated this poorly before.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

“Don’t cause a scene, okay?” you pleaded. “It’s not worth it.”

“I think it’s worth it,” he protested. “But if you don’t want me too, I won’t. As much as it pains me.”

He took your hand and you attempted a smile.

“Excuse me,” the first man said. “You have other customers here.”

You snatched your hand away and faced the man. “I’m sorry. Did you need something?”

“Yes, a fresh beer please,” he said irritably. “And if you don’t mind, we’d rather not watch your foreplay with whatever poor bastard you’re taking home tonight.”

“Hey!” Gwilym cried, getting to his feet. “You can’t talk to her like that!”

“Let it go, man,” the second man said. “You don’t need chivalry for a girl like that.”

“She’s my girlfriend,” Gwilym said. “And I won’t let you speak to her that way.”

“Gwil, please, don’t make a fuss,” you said, trying to take his arm.

It was then that your manager, Lauren, walked out. She was carrying a rack of clean wine glasses to put back on the bar.

“Hey, Y/N,” she said, not sensing the tension around her. “For Otto’s birthday, I was thinking that since he hates the birthday song, we could sing Bohemian Rhapsody instead. You can do the Galileo’s right?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you said.

Suddenly, she realized. “Is everything okay out here?”

“Fine,” you lied.

She didn’t look like she believed you but she let it slide. “Well, I also came out here to tell you that you’re cut. I can take care of the bar for the rest of the night.”

You looked at Gwil. “I’ll just be a minute. I’m gonna go change.”

“Sure,” he said.

You didn’t speak the entire ride home. You kept swallowing to fight the tightness in your throat. As soon as you made it to your apartment, you flew to the bedroom, throwing yourself on the bed and hugging a pillow. Gwilym followed you and when he came in, he saw that you were already in tears.

“Y/N…” he said. He crawled up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. “Don’t let them get to you. You’re amazing.”

“It’s just…” you began, interrupting yourself with a sniffle. “Shit like that brings me back to high school. People were so mean to me. I was called stupid and bimbo and slut. All because of the way I look. It made me want to hide. For so many years, I covered my body and put up my hair and tried to blend in. And now, when I’ve finally got some confidence again, those two assholes talk about me using my tits to make money! It’s so unfair!”

“I’m sorry, love,” he said gently, kissing your temple. “I’m so, so sorry.”

You turned to face him and he pulled you closer. You sobbed into his chest. He held you that way for what could have been years. You didn’t know. You just let everything out. The hurt, frustration, and anger that had accumulated over the years came spilling out through your tears and stained Gwilym’s shirt. When you had calmed down, and your breathing evened out, he wiped your face with his thumbs.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked, and you nodded. “You are a beautiful woman. That’s just a physical law of the universe. But you are so much more than that. You’re kind and smart and funny and one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. You don’t judge anyone, and you’re brave. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and I admire that. So yes, you are beautiful. Not just your sweet face, my dear. But you.”

“I love you, Gwil,” you said, smiling at last.

“I love you too,” he replied.

You settled back into his arms and then he looked at you again.

“Are you seriously going to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to your coworker for his birthday?”

[frospino]

Ah, but I’m flying like a bird to you now

A Klaus Hargreeves Imagine

Warning: Death mention

Summary: Klaus Hargreeves helps (a non-gendered) reader connect with a dead loved one.

Word count: 1.719

A/N: I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately, but I really wanted to write for Klaus. Let me know what you think please! :) Title is from the lyrics of Hozier’s “Shrike”. I took some liberties with the way Klaus can use his powers.

Ah, but I’m flying like a bird to you now

 Klaus Hargreeves was excited to feel the heavy rain on his skin. The way the drops made his hair stick to the side of his face. His eyeliner drawing intricate patterns on his cheeks. The splashing sounds his naked toes made on the pavement.

Klaus had been sober for a couple of weeks now. He saw no point in counting just how many, but his body wasn’t racked by terrible cramps, sweat attacks and all the other fun stuff that came with his new life anymore. Tiny moments of mindfulness, such as letting himself feel nature’s power, had become a beautiful distraction from the moaning, accusations and dark stares that followed him wherever he went.

He was aware of the irony behind using mindfulness as a distraction, but well, Klaus Hargreeves had never been someone who let rules and expectations dictate the way he did things.

“You may want to put on some clothes. It must be cold. And wet.” Ben’s voice pulled Klaus out of his semi-meditative state.

“I don’t really care, but I appreciate your concern, little brother.”

“You do know that we are the same age?”

“Ssh. You stopped aging when you died. Therefore, you are younger than me now.”

An old lady, maybe around 80, raised her eyebrows at him and made a disgusted noise. Klaus grinned at her and tipped an imaginary hat in her direction. “Have a wonderful day, Queen Elizabeth!” She didn’t turn around, only hurried away.

Klaus turned to his brother’s ghost again. “People are so rude.”

“You do make a rather strange sight. At least put on some shoes.”

“My feet are never rude to anyone. And if they were, they’d apologise.”

Ben’s laugh echoed through the deserted street, and Klaus felt a twinge of sadness that he was the only one to hear this beautiful sound. 

For a while, Ben and Klaus just sat next to each other, each of the pair following their own trails of thoughts. To an outsider, Klaus must have made a pitiful sight—a 20-something with runny eyeliner, a shirt that was at least one size too small and distinctly naked feet, soaked to the bone.

Klaus was happier than he had been in a long, long time.

---

Your day couldn’t get much worse. Your ‘favourite’ colleague had found a way to blame his mistake on you, your boss had jumped at the occasion to scream at you, you forgot your lunch on the kitchen counter, and your best friend had called earlier to cancel your date for tonight. Life had just taken one turn for the worse after another, after… the incident. You forced yourself to push the thoughts way. You wouldn’t dwell on it now.

As you stepped outside of the office, you were engulfed by the heaviest rainfall the city had seen in weeks. And you didn’t have an umbrella. Of course.

At least the rain obscured your tears to anyone watching you.

Not that there were a lot of people on the streets to begin with. Most sensible people were probably huddled up on the sofa, hiding under a warm blanket, hot cocoa in hand. You contemplated taking the bus home, but decided the rain might help to cool your temper. You absent-mindedly nodded a greeting to the young man on the pavement.

“Your sister would like me to tell you that it wasn’t your fault.”

You turned around and finally noticed the state he was in. His face looked vaguely familiar, but you were pretty sure you didn’t know anyone with a fable for rainbow-coloured shirts and leather pants.

“I’m sorry, I’ve had a shitty day and really don’t feel like playing games right now.”

“Alice, right? Around 12, long blonde hair, died in a blue summer dress? From the looks of her, run over by car, poor thing. Ah yes, no, tact isn’t really my thing. Say, does your sibling punch people? Ben shut up, you’re not helping.”

You clutched your bag and took a step towards the stranger. Hot fury bubbled up in your stomach, and indeed, you wanted nothing more than to punch that stupid grin of the guy’s face.

“What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want.”

He got up and took a small bow in front of you. “Klaus Hargreeves. Number Four. Umbrella Academy. You may have heard of me, we’ve been all over the news lately.” The stranger—Klaus—offered his hand in greeting.

Ah. That’s why he looked familiar. You remembered something about a family trying to stop the apocalypse. After Alice’s death, your life really had been one apocalypse after the other, so you hadn’t cared much.

Klaus or Number Four or whatever the fuck he wanted to be called let his hands drop to his side again. “Alice tells me you’re not big on strangers. Understandable. She’s worried, you know? You really need to eat something. There’s a nice place just around the corner. Wanna grab a bite?”

“You’re the one who can talk to the dead.”

“I probably should have led with that. Yeah, I guess that’s me.”

“Alice is—Alice is here?”

Klaus looked at the empty space next to you for a while and laughed. “She’s witty. I like her. Yes, Alice says she’s been following you. Says someone has to look after you, since apparently you’re bad at it yourself.” Klaus held up his hands in defeat, giving you a good luck of the words ‘Hello’ and ‘Goodbye’ tattooed onto his palms. “Her words, not mine.”

The tears started again, heavier than before. Sobs shook your body, and you felt your knees give out. Klaus caught you before you could hit the ground.

“Can you—can you tell her that I miss her? And that I’m so, so sorry?”

For a second, Klaus looked as if he wanted to give you a hug, but he opted for an awkward pat on the back instead. “She can hear you. And she says it’s not your fault.”

“But I—I should have looked after her better. I should have—should have—“

You didn’t manage to finish the sentence as your grief held you in an iron grip. You were shaking like a leaf in the wind, and if not for Klaus’ hand on your arm, you would have fallen down again.

“You know, in the last weeks, I’ve learned that hot cocoa is very comforting. Let’s get you out of the rain, and then we’ll have a nice chat, you, Alice and I.”

---

True to Klaus’ word, there was a nice café just a few walking minutes from where you met. You were very conscious of the wet trail you were leaving on the floor, but Klaus moved as if he couldn’t care less. His wet, naked feet made quiet splashing sounds with every step he took. There was only one other customer in the café, but his sigh was loud enough that it could probably be heard at the other end of the city.

“How about you sit down over there—the table with the four chairs—and I’ll get us something? Chocolate cake okay?”

You only nodded in response, pondering why Klaus would point you towards a table with four chairs. Up until now, you hadn’t really thought about the physicality of the dead. Did they need chairs to sit?

One or two minutes later, Klaus set a cup of hot cocoa and a slice of chocolate fudge cake in front of you.

“So,” Klaus looked at you with as he wiped eyeliner smudges from his face with a napkin. “Alice here tells me you’ve hardly eaten anything. That’s not good for your health, you know.”

You sighed. “Thank you. I know that.”

“She says you need to stop being so hard on yourself. And that your boss is a dick.”

You poked at your cake, unsure of what to say. “How would—how would she know?”

“Oh, she’s been following you around since she died.”

“She—what? She’s been here all this time?”

“…not when you go to the bathroom, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You shook your head, trying to process this new information. This whole time, Alice had been there? She had been with you when you cried over her dead body, during the funeral, during everything?

---

Two hours later, the barista informed you that she would close the shop soon. You were amazed by how calm she took in the whole situation—as if it was normal that two people had conversations with their dead siblings. Maybe she recognised Klaus, or maybe she just had an amazing poker face. Either way, you thanked her with a big tip.

Once outside, you gave Klaus a long hug. If you had any tears left, you thought you might have cried again; the conversation with Alice had taken all the shame and guilt away, but the sadness of her passing would stay with you forever.

Klaus slung his long arms around you, and so you two stood there for a while, a comfortable silence engulfing you.

When you eventually let go, Klaus looked at you with serious eyes. “Promise you’ll take better care of yourself.”

“I will.”

“If you need to talk to Alice again, you can always find me, okay?”

“…have you considered becoming a therapist? That power of yours could come in handy.”

Klaus smiled at you and shook his head. “Not all ghosts are as positive as your little sister, you know. Some are… better left with the dead, where they belong.”

Klaus waved at you, his tattoo telling you “goodbye”. Perhaps that was the only thing left to say. You felt a pang of regret as you watched Klaus Hargreeves go—regret that you did not get to know the man who spoke with the dead better. He turned a corner, and you were left wondering whether you really just spoke with your dead sister.

The only proof you had of what just happened was the sound of naked feet on the wet pavement.

  And Klaus arguing with who you guessed was Ben—

“I know man. I should get that line tattooed somewhere. What? Nope, not asking them out. Yes I saw that. Yes. Just—shut up, will you?!”

[rogerina-yee-haw]

“at least I’m one”

chapter 3: “- the broken rules and true affection”

sd!gwilym lee x reader

[the goodbye] [the sadness & tenderness]

summary: you and gwil met ten months ago; and he offered you to be his sugar baby almost immediately. you agreed at that exact moment, not knowing where it would get you.

warnings: badly written smut (again) sorry y’all; angst, fluff, cursing, cringy behavior, author’s spelling and grammar errors, typos

a/n: hey y’all ily!!! thanks for waiting!! i love you all!! I’m sorry it took me so long!! I’m dying at uni!! 

also, I wanted to thank you for 350+ followers like??? how did it happen?? I don’t deserve all of your pretty souls?? but seriously, you all are amazing and wonderful, and I hope you have a beautiful day <3

I :) hope :) this :) chapter :) isn’t :) a :) complete :) piece :) of :) garbage :) (it is imao sorry)

P.S.

there are three chapters left. 

As you follow your parents through the long and silent corridors of the hospital, you can surely say that you feel much better.

Becca gave birth to a beautiful baby boy; and you have never seen her happier. She and Jackson looked so felicitous with their newborn in Becca’s arms, that you couldn’t but shed a tear. For the first time during this day it wasn’t a sad cry; you were really happy.

Your sister needed rest after the tough night of labor; so you and your parents decided it would be better for you to leave. And now you are going home, back to your apartment, April and sorrows.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” your mum lightly touches your hand; you give her a fake smile in response. You can’t tell her the truth; and was there ever even a slight bit of truth about you and Gwil? Everything your parents know about this relationship is built on lies. You can’t tell her that you fell in love with your sugar daddy but he proposed to another sugar baby, and that’s why you’re heartbroken. You simply can’t.

“Just tired”, you smile weakly. “Can’t even imagine how Becca’s still able to talk and, y’know; behave as a normal human being after having such an experience”. Your mum lets out a laugh.

“Becca is strong. And she likes being the center of attention, so her desire to talk is quite understandable”.

“Put it this way, love”, your father joins the conversation, “Becca just wants everyone to praise her. That’s her character”.

“She deserves that praise”, you say.

Your father smiles. “Of course she does. She’s a hero”.

When your parents offer to give you a ride, you refuse, saying Janet is supposed to pick you up; you lie, once again. You’re not ashamed of yourself – you wouldn’t survive if you never lied. That’s just another deception. Just another delusion for your parents and you to believe in.

No one’s here to pick you up. Janet is probably having fun at that party, Billy’s sleeping, and Gwil… You sigh deeply. You just can’t continue doing it to yourself anymore. One more thought about Gwilym, one more memory – and you’re sure you’ll jump off of some building. You won’t make it through the night if you continue thinking about him.

He’s gone. He’s engaged to Alice. He’s not yours. He has never been yours. That’s all that you have to know for moving on.  But you simply don’t know how; Gwil has been a part of your life for ten months, you can’t just move on. That’s not possible.

When you get into the cab, you’re on the verge of crying again; all the bliss, given by Becca’s baby boy, is gone. You look through the car window – the streets of London are full of people on this Friday night. All of them are having fun, laughing and just enjoying themselves; and even if they have some troubles in their life, they simply forget about them while drinking tons of alcohol. If you do the same thing, you’d end up on Gwilym’s doorstep. You know that for sure.

Almost twenty minutes later you come back home; it’s silent there, as usual. You don’t even turn the lights on – you don’t want to see what kind of mess your flat is now. “Probably as messy as I am”, you think when you sit down on the couch.

On the floor, right in front of you, there is a bag. The bag. You take a deep breath before reaching your hand to it; you have to look through the stuff you took from Gwil’s apartment. You had to do that to cope with your feelings, to try to move on. You can’t let yourself drown in your sorrows, not being able to throw away everything related to him. You need to get rid of the memories. You have to do that just in case. Just to realize if the pain is still that strong.

The red flannel shirt is the first thing that you put out of the bag.

And you can’t even comprehend how much pain it causes you. It makes your chest ache, and you feel like your heart is going to explode.

And there you have enough of your weak attempts in moving on.

You burst into tears, squeezing the shirt in your hands; it still smells like him. Because it’s his, it’s his shirt. The one he says he hates so much, that he didn’t even protest when you borrowed it. The memories of this day are still fresh, and you let yourself drown in them, you give in. You can’t fight, you’re not that powerful. You can’t move on, you’re not that strong to do this. You want to drown in your sorrows, because it’s the only way to be with him now.

Still crying, you put the shirt over your shoulders. “Looks good on you”, Gwil used to say when you wore it. “It was a lie”, you whisper while curling up on the couch; you keep sobbing and wrapping the shirt around yourself. “Another lie to play with me”, you say under your breath, tears still streaming down your cheeks when you doze off. Your sleep isn’t peaceful; you dream about Gwilym, again and again.

                                            ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

                                                     September.

“So you agree?”

You looked into the contract one more time; you furrowed your brows just to seem focused. To be honest, you’ve lost the ability to concentrate the moment you saw Gwil inside of the restaurant. He looked like the fucking Adonis in his dark-grey three-piece suit, and you couldn’t get the image of him roughly lifting you up from your seat and fucking you right on this table till you see the stars. You kept reminding yourself that it wasn’t right, that you just met him seven hours ago. You had no idea who he was until he approached you in that posh shop.

At one point you started doubting whether you needed that or not; but then you realized one simple thing. This beautiful, heavenly looking man was offering you the life you could never afford. Alright, maybe if you worked yourself to death – maybe then you could afford buying expensive clothes and jewelry. Also being alone for a year and a half had its own influence – and by that you certainly meant a badly hidden desire to have sex with Gwilym right there and then.

You sighed deeply, as you looked through the rules. They weren’t bad; as they weren’t, by no means, crossing any lines in any way. They were normal. They were adequate. You couldn’t ask for more. That was your chance to get free cash and hook up with a pretty dude. You couldn’t miss such an opportunity.

“I do”.

                                           ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

rule №7. no contact with each other’s families and friends.

                                                        March.

“Someone get this goddamn door!”

Your mother’s scream was able to bring dead back to life; but now it only made you realize that you might lose your hearing, if she shouted like that one more time.

“Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?” Billy seemed to notice the way you winced when you heard your mother’s loud voice; and that’s why he decided to proclaim the song’s lyrics right into your ear. It made you growl, and you turned around to hit him on the shoulder.

“Idiot!” you said. “Go get the door”.

“I’m too busy to do that”.

You raised your eyebrows at him in disbelief; Billy was just messing around while his mother and you were helping your mum with preparing food and guests. Your dad and Becca with Jackson were of great help, too; everyone was doing something except for this dumbass. He grinned widely, seeing your frustration. “Besides, t’s not my house. I’m not allowed to open doors and, y’know, behave wildly”.

“Swift, for fuck’s sake, you’ve spent more time in this house than anywhere else”, you sighed. “And you certainly opened the doors for, like, million times”.

“But-“

“Billy!” his mother stormed into the kitchen “Stop wandering around and go get the door!” she took the bowl with fruits into her hands. “Or I’ll make you chat with Zelda!” she added before heading to the dining room. Billy’s eyes widened and he seemed to start trembling the second he heard your aunt’s name; so he left the kitchen immediately. You chuckled; this day was already a piece of work. Every time such a big family gathering happened, you knew that something would eventually be fucked up. Today was no exception, as it was your mother’s fiftieth birthday.

She wanted to have both her sisters, three best friends with their children and, of course, her own family present at such an important event. Three best friends included Mrs. Swift with her dumbass of a son Billy, Mrs. Johnson, and Mrs. Raymonds with her daughter Alexis and son James. 

James had been a pain in your ass today since the moment he entered the house. You expected to successfully avoid talking to him, but it seemed as if he wanted to speak to you more than anything. You couldn’t really understand why. You hadn’t communicated properly for four years, right since your breakup, and you didn’t really want to; firstly, because before you were too invested in your relationship and split with Luke, and now because of Gwilym.

You closed your eyes and let out a sigh. How you wished to have Gwil here now; you knew that with him everything would be so much better. And, moreover, if Gwil was here, James wouldn’t be bothering you. You couldn’t tell him to fuck off; you were too nice for that. Besides, you didn’t want to ruin the “normal” relationship that you two had – if it was possible to call it like that. 

He was not only your childhood friend, but your ex, your first kiss, your first sex and your first heartbreak. Every “first” that happened to you was connected to James; and no matter how much thankful you were to him for giving you a necessary experience, you couldn’t but regret your decision to date your mum’s best friend’s son at the age of fourteen. If you never saw him again, everything would be so much easier. All just because he was awfully clingy and tedious; it seemed as if he had never grown up and was still stuck in high school. And he was an idiot in high school.

“You need help?” As your back was facing the kitchen’s entrance, you couldn’t miss the opportunity to roll your eyes when you heard James’s voice. It took you everything not to tell him to fuck off, as you put a fake smile on your face and turned around to see him standing near the fridge. A couple of steps more – and he would be right in front of you. Disgusting.”No; but thank you for the offer, James”.

“Oh, Y/N”, he smiled and moved a bit forward; your fists tightened and you clenched your jaw, still smiling. “You’re always welcome”.

Please, dear God. Save me from this monstrosity.

Billy was humming the song about the poor groom and his whore-bride as he approached the door; he was happy enough to avoid talking to aunt Zelda for a while. She was the most annoying person he had ever met, and she also hated him to death; so opening the door was quite a good opportunity.

A tall dude in a suit with bouquet of flowers on Y/L/N’s house’s doorstep surprised Billy; as he was 5’6” himself, everyone taller than that seemed like a giant to him. And this really handsome pal was certainly intimidating. “You alright, mate?” Billy examined him from heat to foot; the suit was totally expensive and the man himself looked like a fucking duke.

“Is Y/N here?” his voice was deep and a bit husky; Billy furrowed his brows – he had no idea you were aquianted with someone from the Royal Family.

“Y/N!” he screamed. “That’s for you!”

When James was almost standing near you, Billy’s voice saved your day. “Thank God!” you shouted in response and flew out of the kitchen; no matter who was there, you were happy enough it happened. You saw Billy standing in front of the open door; leaning to the doorway, that was leading from the hall to the living room, you let out a sigh of relief. You didn’t even see who was at the door; and at the moment you didn’t care, as you stood there, panting, with your eyes closed.

“Fucking James”, you breathed. “I hate this fucking wanker so much, you don’t even know, Billy”.

“Oh no, I do, trust me, Y/L/N. ‘Cause I hate him more”.

“If I hear his fucking voice one more time, I swear-“

“Who’s James?”

You couldn’t believe it; did the voice that you heard belong to Gwilym? Your eyes went round; and when you finally saw him, standing on your parents’ house’s doorstep, your eyes lit up and your mouth curved into a smile. He was there.

“Gwil”, you mouthed. He beamed, and his whole face lit up when he saw you. Or maybe it just seemed to you that it did.

“Y/N”, he said, “hey”.

“I’m Billy!” he chimed in, resting his chin on your shoulder; your smile faded as your rolled your eyes at him.

“Swift, go to the kitchen and help our mums”, you said quickly. He huffed.

“And talk to Raymonds? No, thank you.”

As you kept maintaining eye contact with Gwil, you couldn’t but close your eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “Billy”, you said through gritted teeth, “go and help our mums”.

“Y/L/N-“

“Billy!” you turned around; if it was possible to burn someone down with just one simple gaze, Billy would have been dead already. “Go and do it, while I’m asking you nicely!” you pinched his shoulder so strongly, that he jumped and let out a squeak.

“Alright!” he raised his hands. “I’ll do anything if you stop hitting and pinching me. Bloody woman”, he mumbled, while leaving.

“Sorry about him”, you looked back at Gwil; he was still smiling at you. “He’s just twelve, really”. 

“Is that your best friend you told me about?”

“Yeah”. Only then you noticed he was holding a bouquet of lilies.

“That’s my mum’s favourite flowers”, you said quietly. “How’d you know?”

His gaze was fixed on your face; and you couldn’t but look away because you felt extremely flustered.

“You said it once. I remembered”.

You melted like an ice-cream under the scorching sun. He remembered that? It took your father twenty-seven years of marriage to memorize his wife’s favorite flowers, and here was Gwil – remembering about it for some time. You didn’t even know how to react.

But then you realized one thing. He was not supposed to be here. He was your sugar daddy; and one of the rules was not to have any contact with each other’s families of friends. What exactly was he doing here?

“What are you doing here?” you asked. “You said you gonna have a business trip”.

He smiled. “I deferred it to the next weekend. Couldn’t leave my girl alone with her, as she says that, crazy family”.

My girl. Of course, you heard him say that million times; but something was different now, you could feel it in your bones.

You smiled like an idiot, while he was taking off his coat; he beamed at you back, and there you were – two grinning idiots, who stood in your parents’ house’s hallway. That was so much you wanted to tell him; how thankful you were that he came, but mostly you wanted to kiss him softly and whisper “I love you” in between kisses.

“You’re gonna regret it”, you say instead. “They’re embarrassing”.

He chuckled and took your hand; Gwil pressed a sweet kiss to your knuckles. “I will never regret a minute spent with you. Even if your family is embarrassing”. He pulled you closer, and you were perfectly safe and sound in his arms. The flowers, lying on the little sofa in the hallway, were long forgotten, as well as guests, food and the world. Gwil was warm and lovely, and you closed your eyes, resting your head in the crook of his neck. You would stay like this forever. You didn’t need anything, anyone else, but him, just him, only him. You had no idea why he was there, when he could be somewhere else, with another sugar baby, having sex and buying jewelry. But he was there, with you.

“You are stunning”, he whispered in your ear. “Red looks good on you”. You let out a chuckle against his neck. God, that was so silly.

“You bought me this dress, after all”, you answered quietly. Gwil hummed in response and kissed your hair; you pulled away from his neck, catching him staring at you in awe. You lost yourself in his blue eyes, lost yourself forever in his mesmeric gaze. Was this love? For you, yeah. For you, it was everything you ever wanted – it seemed that Gwilym walked into your life in that dark-blue suit at the end of the September right from your dreams. You didn’t even know when exactly you fell in love with him – but you knew it was more than just a simple arrangement now. At least for you.

“It’s not the point, baby”, his fingers traced different shapes on your back and Gwil could certainly feel you shivering under the dress. “You look good in everything”. He pressed a kiss on your forehead, and you both smiled. It was perfect.

“You must be the mysterious guy Y/N always talks about!” You let out a squeak and jumped back from Gwilym in an instant; your sister was leaning onto the doorframe and grinning impishly. You pressed a hand to your chest and cursed under your breath. “I’m Becca, her elder sister”, her and Gwil shook hands and you couldn’t but roll your eyes; Becca was up to something. You didn’t like the thought of it; any idea of your sister always turned out to be a disaster.

You all walked in the dining-room; and the whole place went from a loud chat to complete silence. Aunt Zelda, as you noticed, was examining Gwil thoroughly. You furrowed your brows and rolled your eyes; your aunt was evidently interested in a good-looking man who just walked in with you. You let out an exasperated sigh and rolled your eyes once again, this time thinking that they may just stay inside of your head if you do that one more time. You saw Billy barely holding back his hysterical laugh, when you sat down at the table; you stopped yourself from slapping your forehead and throwing something at Swift. Your attention was drawn to Becca and Jackson as they were having whispered conversation, while looking at you and Gwil. James looked confused, when you gave him a brief look; his opinion was the last one you were interested in. You were so invested in observing everyone’s reaction that you missed the main one – your mum’s.

“….boyfriend?”

You frowned hearing the scraps of the conversation; you turned your head and caught your mum and dad talking to Gwilym. You looked at them, being disoriented, as you heard him saying that. “Yes, I am. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend”.

You tilted your head, still furrowing your brows. Boyfriend?

“I’m Y/N’s boyfriend”, for fuck’s sake, what?

“Holy shit”, you almost mumbled, still staying bewildered; he didn’t just say what he said, did he?

Boyfriend? No. He was not your boyfriend. He was the exact opposite. He bought you expensive shit and fucked you into oblivion. He was your sugar daddy. He was providing you with money and taking you to luxurious resorts to spend the weekend there. He made an arrangement, came up with rules for both of you to follow. He had other women as his sugar babies, whom he fucked too. He was a boss in the huge ass company. He was a literal Disney Prince. He was this, and not your boyfriend.

But he took care of you when you were terribly sick after your romantic getaway in Aspen. He held you tightly when you were crying. He cuddled you until you fell asleep in his arms, both of you beaming. He praised every part of your body. He wrote you cute letters every day, saying how much he adored you. He told you he was proud of you when you got a promotion. He made you a bubble bath with candles lit around and sweet music playing on the background. He did facemasks with you while watching your favorite shows. He told you he didn’t want to let you go. He made you feel valued and protected, for the first time after two failed relationships. He made you feel as if it wasn’t just an arrangement. He made you feel like he loved you.

Your heart skipped a beat at this thought. Loved you? No, that was ridiculous. Gwilym couldn’t love you; he could love Alice, a small pretty thing with her piercing gaze and gracious movements; or his other sugar baby, Zoe, with her husky voice and plump lips. He could love someone much more skinnier than you, someone not that tall, and someone not that awkward. He was way out of your league; and still, somehow, he was there, at your family’s gathering, talking to your relatives and resting his hand on your thigh.  He was there, with you, not anywhere else. He was there. 

You exchanged glances, smiled at each other; throughout the whole evening he never stopped whispering into your ear about how beautifully you looked. He held your hand and kissed it, when there was an opportunity. Gwil was talking to your dad about science and business, like your father had a clue about any of those things; he even chatted with Billy for a moment, which made you smile lightly. It seemed to you that every time he looked at you, his eyes lit up.  And for a moment you knew - he was yours. Only yours.

                                          ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

rule №2. accept every gift that is given.

                                                     February.

It was so good.

The sound of Gwil’s skin clapping against yours, the way he gripped your hips and sucked on the skin in the crook of your neck made you arch your back, your breasts pressing into his chest. He growled, and it sent shivers down your spine. His thrusts were now faster, as he was as close as you.

“You like it like that, right, baby?”

You were clinging onto him as if it was the matter of life and death; and it was, indeed. He was giving you what you needed. Finally. “Yes, daddy”, you mouthed. “I’m so close”, you were breathing hard and saying these words wasn’t very easy as well; but it was what he wanted – you spoke. Gwil thrusted into you harshly, burying himself inside of you so deeply that you could only scream his name in pleasure. It seemed that you both had forgotten about the little game you played. You were more than happy to realize that; even though you were terribly wrong about Gwilym.

He started moving slower in you and then pulled out; your eyes were wide open the second he did that. What the actual fuck?

You rose on your elbows; your brows drew together as you watched this asshole slyly grin. “You said…” you were panting. “You said…you…”

“That I’ll let you cum in the bedroom?” he replied. “That’s true”, he shrugged his shoulders. “But you didn’t catch one little thing, love”, Gwil was hovering over you again. “By that I meant master bedroom. And this”, he pressed a kiss on your lips, “This is certainly not the master bedroom”.

You looked at him with wide eyes and sighed loudly. In a master bedroom? “There are seven bedrooms in this house”, you mumbled, when you head fell back onto the pillows. He was kidding, right? He didn’t let you cum neither in the kitchen nor in the living room, and promised you’d come in the bedroom – but now, turned out that he was just messing with you? You covered your eyes with your hand and sighed deeply. This was going to be a long ride; and with Gwil’s desire to edge you until you were begging and telling him exactly what he wanted – you knew you would be exhausted as fuck.

“This can end very quickly, y’know it, love”, he hovered over you, you could feel it; your eyes were still closed and jaw clenched tightly. You didn’t want to give in. You didn’t start playing this game just to let him win in the end.

It wasn’t exactly a game, though. You were just rejecting his gift, and that’s all. The only thing was that not accepting the present was another violation of rules. And, also, that his gift was a fucking three-storied house. A freaking mansion with a huge garage, a back garden, and, like, fifty rooms. He just said, “It’s a simple gift, love”, and you jaw fell open at his words. Simple fucking gift; the one you never asked for. That was too much. Money, Cartier bracelets, diamond necklaces and designer clothes were great and amazing, but the house? You knew Gwil couldn’t get enough of spoiling, but he crossed the line here, even for a sugar daddy. Even for this type of relationship buying a house was too much.

But he, apparently, didn’t think so. He kept on insisting it didn’t mean anything, that he didn’t even spend that much money on it. Your blood was boiling, and you could feel your ass burning with anger. 

Now your ass was burning too, but because of how much Gwil was spanking you. You were ready to come undone just cause of it, but this asshole didn’t let you. He wouldn’t let you come until you accepted the gift. And even though you really liked the house, you couldn’t just agree on his terms and take it. No. It was too much. Even for such a rich dude like Gwil.

“I just have to accept your gift and shut up, right?” you said through gritted teeth. Gwil furrowed his brows, and took your hand from your face. Your eyes were open as you were looking at him irritably.

“I never told you to shut up”, his tone was serious as he was staring you in the eyes. “And it’s not what I meant. You know that”. He sounded offended; you suddenly felt guilty about your behavior. You were acting like a bitch the second you saw the house, and said some stupid shit, like “I hate this fucking house". He shouldn’t have bought it, but you shouldn’t be a brat about it either. He did  it not 'cause he wanted to buy you, no; he did it because that’s how he showed his affection. And it was part of your arrangement, part of then rules after all; he always sticked to them, unlike you.

“I do”, you cupped his face in your hands, looking at him softly. “I know that you don’t mean anything like that”, you pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. He kissed you back eagerly, putting his hands on your waist and pulling himself lower, closer to you. You both were naked, aroused and hungry for each other. You pulled away trying to catch your breath. “But I still can’t accept this gift, Gwil”.

Gwilym let out a loud groan as he rolled over to another side of the bed. “Why’s that, Y/N?” he tried to sound neutrally but you could feel irritation coming out of his whole body.

“Baby, I told you already”, you sighed tiredly. “The house’s too big, too expensive. I can’t accept it”.

“It’s a gift, love”, he ran his fingers through his hair. “You don’t have to think about its price”.

You rolled over to face him, but he wasn’t looking at you; he lied on his back, breathing heavily with eyes closed. Too annoyed to even speak to you. And even though he wouldn’t speak to you through his mouth, you knew through what he would certainly answer you. If he said “no” to it, you would never insist on keep going. You were both keeping each other comfortable, always.

He was still rock hard and you had to restrain yourself from moaning. He might have been a huge ass with the whole edging thing today, but you wanted him like crazy, always and constantly.

 He let out a groan when you straddled him. You tried your best to keep a straight face, but you were so fucking wet that no facial expression could save you.Gwil felt that; thinking that you were insisting on continuation of the sex, he put his hands on your hips, trying to make you move; but you had other plans for him. You took his hands off of you and put them on his sides. “What will people say when they learn I’m living in such a big house?” you traced circles on his chest with your fingers; he drew in a long breath, gripping the sheets. “No one would believe I’m able to even rent it. I’m not really rich, baby”, you kept maintaining eye-contact; him inside of you and neither of you moving.

“Fuck them”, he whispered. He made you feel like a goddess just by looking at you that lovingly and hungrily. You moaned at the thought, and Gwil took this chance to putting his hands on your hips again. You raised an eyebrow and brushed his hands off. He didn’t let you cum. Now you were going to torture him for a little bit as well.

“No touching, Gwil. You can’t do that unless I say so”.

He licked his lips and grinned, surprised by your sudden dominance. He liked seeing you like this: confident and naked. Gwil’s favorite moods of yours.

“Shit, Y/N”, he grunted. “You feel amazing. So tight and beautiful”.

You gasped; Gwil was well aware of the effect his words had upon you, and he smiled, no, he fucking grinned, looking at you, almost twirling in ecstasy already.

The smug look on his face vanished when you started rocking your hips against him. Moving up and down his cock, you moaned and clung on his chest with your nails. He hissed, gripped the sheets tightly but never touched you. You rode him fast and needy, trying to reach your climax sooner than he noticed. “Feels so good”, you whined. Sweaty, greedy, whimpering, with head tilted back and nails digging in his chest – just the sight of you like this could make Gwil lose control. He wanted to thrust into you harshly, touch you everywhere, run his fingers through your hear and caress your face as you rode you both to orgasm – but he followed your rules. Not only 'cause he liked that, but also because he wanted to show you that obedience wasn’t too bad. Although he would certainly disagree with it right now, when he couldn’t even kiss you. “Touch me”, you breathed, needing his hands on you. God, you needed him in so many ways.

“Finally”.

He squeezed your breasts immediately; you moaning echoed in the room, making him even more turned on than he already was. Your walls clenched against him, and no matter how much he wanted to continue your little game, he wanted to fuck you properly more. He wanted to hear you screaming, wanted to see your face when you cum. God, he wanted all of you just to him.

You felt your orgasm coming in any moment, and you bit your lip to hold back moans, so that Gwil wouldn’t stop. But he didn’t even intend to. Not this time. “Come on, baby”, he whispered, caressing your sides, “come for me”.

Gwilym’s words made you lose it, lose all the power you thought you had. You fell onto him, burying your face in the crook of his neck, as he was fucking you now, hitting that exact spot inside you that drove you crazy. “Gwil”, you panted against his neck; and  your hot breath sending shivers down his spine and making him thrust into you harder. “I’m gonna cum”, you said in an unsteady voice, while gripping his shoulders and digging your nails in there.

“Let go, baby”.

He let out a pure animalistic growl and suddenly flipped you over, so you were underneath him. He attacked your lips with his, giving you the most heated and loving kiss in your life. You wrapped your legs around his waist so that he could have a batter access to hit your g-spot; with your hands on his neck, you didn’t let him to break the kiss, deepening it, trying to fight for dominance. But dominance was his thing in bedroom.

He buried himself so deep inside of you that you two could only moan into each other’s mouths; you both reached your highs together, skin to skin, in unison, screaming one another’s names and grabbing the sheets. You both needed that.

Some minutes later, when you came down from your high Gwil left a delicate kiss on your forehead and got up; throwing the used condom into the trash, he turned around and saw you lying down with your hand covering your face. The blissful smile on your face and steady breathing told him that you were ready to nod off.

“Falling asleep on me, aren’t ya?” he lied down next to you; Gwil took your hand and pressed a kiss to it.

You took a deep breath. “Just give me a couple of minutes”, your reply was weak; Gwilym chuckled and smacked your ass playfully. You giggled and turned your face to him; you struggled to even open your eyes.

“Let’s get some sleep, love”, Gwil said quietly. He adjusted your pillows and put a blanket over the two of you; after he pulled your closer, your back on his chest, and his arms wrapped around you. He kissed you hair and you smiled sleepily.

“I still can’t accept your gift”, you continued your almost long-forgotten argument. Gwilym took in a deep breath and buried his face in your hair.

“I can’t argue with you anymore”, he mumbled, “I’ll accept any decision you make, Y/N”.

“Thank you”, you whispered. “But I love this house”, he chuckled at your words.

“I know. I did everything here like you love it. Just for you”.

You smiled lightly and hummed in response. “Wake me up in ten minutes”, you said leaning in closer to him. “I’ll be ready to continue till we get to the master bedroom”. Gwilym pressed a warm kiss to your shoulder.

“This is the master bedroom now”.

As you nodded off, feeling warm and safe in Gwil’s arms, you were beaming; when your mind was drowning in drowsiness, you felt a warm breath on your neck and heard Gwilym’s voice saying softly, “I love you so much, Y/N”. But you knew it was just a dream. Reality couldn’t give you something like this. Never.

                                         ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

rule №6. no contact with other sugar babies.

                                                December.

“When you’re gonna be home?”

You locked your phone after texting Gwil; you didn���t want to bother him, but it was Christmas Eve and you weren’t amused by spending it alone in his empty penthouse. He was called for work, and promised you to come back in three hours. The clock struck five in the evening. Gwil left at ten A.M.

You sighed deeply as you looked at the served table. You wanted to surprise him by cooking a festive dinner; it wasn’t like you were a chef, on the contrary – you couldn’t cook for shit. But, as you planned this thing, you googled some recipes and tried to cook something simple, but yet delicious. You had strange desire to be domestic with Gwilym – to cook food, do laundry, clean the house, and take kids from school… You didn’t even know when you first started imagining you two living a happy, suburban life in a pretty house with three children. Before Gwil you didn’t want kids. Now you were questioning all of your life choices. You were never able to have hook ups and not catch feelings. And this was certainly just a “hook up”, as you thought in the beggining. Only now it was much more.

“Soon, baby. I promise”.

His text gave you hope; his “soon” could be in ten minutes. You looked over the table in panic, quickly lighting candles. You ran to the nearest room; looking yourself up and down in the mirror, you twisted a ring on your index finger nervously. This green dress was exactly what Gwilym liked: it was tight, giving a perfect opportunity to observe all of your curves, and also very short. The color wasn’t exactly in the style of Christmas, but red lace lingerie underneath the dress was quite in the mood of the holiday. You knew Gwil would have gone crazy the second he came back home. He gave you  so much during those months and you just wanted to get him a pleasant reward; and you were also head over heels for him. That was pretty simple.

Suddenly you heard heels clattering on the marble floor of the living room; you frowned, trying to understand who was there. Was Gwil wearing heels? You wouldn’t be surprised at that. Or was it Gwil’s sister again? Not that you didn’t like her, you just wanted him all to yourself tonight; even though you weren’t against spending time with his family.

“Heather?” you called while heading back to the living-room.

It wasn’t Heather.

It was a girl in a coat and high-heeled ankle boots; her eyes were gleaming in the dark as she was reading the note she took from Gwil’s plate.

“Unwrap your gift”, she said; she raised her head and looked at you haughtily. “Who are you?”

“And you?” you asked in confusion. “How did you come in?”

“The door’s was open”.

“No, it was not”.

You stared at each other, trying to burn yourselves with your glares; you had a strong feeling that it was one of Gwilym’s other two sugar babies.

“I assume you’re Y/N”, she sat down at the table, at Gwil’s place. “You got a nice dinner here”.

“Thanks”, you squeaked. You already felt helpless and hopeless in front of her; she was this black-haired goddess with a sly grin on her face. She was confident. You weren’t like that. “That’s actually…” you were speaking quietly. “That’s for Gwil”.

She huffed. “Of course, it is. I’m Alice, if you don’t know that”, it felt like you were supposed to know her name and whom  she was. It seemed like she was the one who was supposed to be there. You suddenly felt really uncomfortable in her presence; her whole behavior was telling you to get out.

And here you were again. Feeling unnecessary, needless, unwanted.

“I’ve been with Gwil since I was twenty-three, like you are now”, she took a sip from the glass with champagne. “We’re having three-year anniversary this year”, she said with a smug smile.

“You sound like you’re dating”.

“We do”.

“No”.

The sound of his voice was something you craved for. It was like oxygen in the room with no windows and doors. It was like a light in the darkness.

“Daddy!” Alice jumped from her seat and beamed. Oh god, you already wanted to leave. She was looking at him so hungrily that you didn’t even know what you were doing there. You were an extra one. Unwanted. “You’re back! Y/N was just leaving”, she glared at you and raised her eyebrows, giving you a silent order. And you, with your zero self-esteem and very high level of shyness, obeyed.

“I’ve gotta go”, you muttered, heading to the door. Gwil, who stood not so far from you, immediately reached out and grabbed you by the wrist.

“Y/N, no. Please. Don’t go. Please”. He begged you to stay. Gwilym wanted you there, with him. You. Not Alice. The realization of it hit you suddenly, as you looked in his eyes.

You nodded, and he let go of your wrist, now intertwining his fingers with yours. “Alice is leaving”.

“Now, I’m not!” she tried to object, but Gwilym had none of her bullshit.

“You’re leaving. D’you remember what rule number five is about?”

Alice lowered her head and mumbled, “Never visit each other without calling beforehand”.

“Exactly. You broke it. Now you’re staying without your monthly supply. And getting the fuck out of my house”.

You could have sworn she muttered “Bitch” under her breath as she was passing by you. When she slammed the door, Gwil went to close it quickly; then he approached you and pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry it happened”, he whispered.

“T’s alright”. You were silent for a moment. “I made you dinner; was afraid she’s gonna eat it”.

Gwil laughed and pulled away, his gaze fixed on you; “Did ya, really?” he sounded surprised. You smiled and nodded; then you took his hand and leaded him to the table. “Wow”, he gasped. “You didn’t have to, Y/N”, your gazes met and you smiled at him one more time, your eyes sparkling like diamonds.

“I wanted to, Gwil”.

He pulled you in a desperate kiss; it seemed as if he tried to show his whole affection and gratitude through it. “Thank you, baby”, he whispered against your lips. “I don’t deserve you”.

You rolled your eyes, ruining the moment and walked to your seat at the other side of the table. “Don’t start this”, you said, sitting down. Gwil chuckled as he took his seat; some seconds later you caught him staring at you.

“What’s for dessert?”

You looked at him with raised eyebrow and a smirk on your face. “You will find out later”, you winked at him.

                                                         ***

                                                        May.

“Y/N, stop apologizing. I’ve already told you everything’s alright”.

You couldn’t stop saying “Sorry” and nervously play with your hair the entire time you were sitting in your flat with Zoe; it was the first time you met each other and you were extremely anxious. She looked dazzling, like a star; she was smoking already a third cigarette in the last fifteen minutes.

“Alice’s the one who has to apologize, if to be honest”, she looked at you. “This bitch fed me with ugly lies about the sweetest person I’ve ever met”.

“Are you talking ‘bout me?”

“Absolutely”.

A small smile settled on your lips; Zoe was really sweet and nice, despite what you had been thinking about her. There was something charming, mysterious about her. You could certainly say why Gwil liked her, even if it broke your heart completely. “So, where were we?” Zoe asked.

“You were telling me about what Alice told you”.

“Oh right”, she nodded. “Alice has like a friend, a source in the company, where Gwil works. This “source” finds out everything about him, dunno how. This person told Alice about Gwil’s ex, Stefanie. I was fucking heartbroken after I heard that story”, she lit another cigarette.

“What’s about it?”

“Oh, Y/N, there’s so much. They were engaged, been together since school. Apparently, he loved her too much to notice that she started getting expensive jewelry and clothes. He believed every word she said, when she lied, telling she bought it herself. It turned out that she had three sugar daddies. And if he could forgive her just getting the money from them, he certainly couldn’t forgive her sleeping with all of them. It’s been like seven years since it happened and he’s still too eager to spoil us so much so that we wouldn’t even think about having someone else”.

You sat down on your couch, looking at Zoe in a state of complete shock. But she continued her story. “Gwil talks too much when he’s drunk; that’s how this source knows all of it”.

“You are his first sugar baby, right?”

Your question hung in the silence of the room. “Yeah. Been for four years”.

“And he never told you this?”

Zoe furrowed her brows and she took another drag. “No. We don’t talk about stuff like that. We usually just have some kind of small talk. He just gives me money-“

“In exchange for sex”, you interrupted her, voice thick with jealousy. Zoe chuckled.

“No. Not anymore at least”.

Your eyes widened at her words. “Why?”

Zoe shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno. He called it off several months ago, actually, with both me and Alice. He still gives us money, yeah, but nothing more than that. And if for the reason why – I think it’s ‘cause he’s just as in love with you as you’re with him”.

You gasped; you didn’t expect her to say something like that. You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest. “I don’t-“, you stuttered. “I’m not-“

“Yes, you are”, Zoe huffed. “Come on, Y/N, you know it’s true. He wouldn’t call off two opportunities to fuck whenever he wants just ‘cause he’s bored. No. There’s something more. He loves you, you dumb bitch”.

“He doesn’t, Zoe. He doesn’t and he never will”.

                                        ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

You are awoken by a loud, non-stopping knocking on your door. You take in a sharp breath, struggling with getting up; your head is throbbing violently, as you stand up from the couch. It’s already dark outside; and you wonder how much time you have spent sleeping. Twelve hours? Fourteen? No matter how many of them – you are still sore, sad and hurt. Everything hurts so badly.

But you’re still wearing Gwil’s shirt. The feeling of its fabric on your skin makes you somehow feel better. Warmer. Makes feel a little bit alive.

The loud knocking proceeds as you walk towards the door. You think that it’s probably your mum coming to see you; you don’t answer your phone as you’ve been sleeping for so long.

When you open the door you expect to see a middle-aged woman with brown hair and angry voice, who’ll start lecturing you immediately as she always does. But your expectations are nothing compared to reality.

With red swollen eyes (like he’s been crying), messy hair and a backpack, which is slowly falling from his shoulder – that’s what  he looks like standing at your doorstep. You don’t understand why he’s here, what he needs from you. You look at him as if he was a ghost, a phantom, a shadow, that will disappear at any moment. You can’t believe he’s here.

“Gwil?”

________________________________________________________________

wtf just happend am I right haha

“alio” taglist:  @majesticdiscodeaky @heartsarecompatible @all-my-friends-are-german @magicwithaknife @longing-hiraeth @thelondondreamer5 @roger-taylors-drumsticks @runningoutofwordstosay @chlobo6 @you-and-i-deserve-the-world @queenficarchive @murydedeus03 @alis-volat-propriiis @deacycomics @hollandspcter @gwils-bitch   @crazylittlethingcalleddub-step @painthatiusedto @kaylaylaylayla @rogerinastolemyheart @broken-pieces 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[escapingreality1992]

Wedding Date Emergency

Warnings: Smut, Oral Sex, Protected Sex

Bucky Barnes x OC - Emma needs a date to her best friend’s wedding when she is informed that she can no longer go alone. She is close with Bucky and they go together. Feelings come into light during the week of the wedding.

Out with my best friend Alice from high school and her two stepsisters, Stella and Maggie, was the day that my life was going to be forever changed. We were eating sushi and talking about wedding details—Alice was the bride and she had met the woman of her dreams two years ago—when she turned things around on me.

           “So you already RSVP’d right?” she asked me. I nodded mid-bite of my spicy tuna roll, no desire to talk with my mouth full.

           “Yeah, right when you sent out the invitations five months ago. I’ve got to stay ahead of the game,” I answered, swallowing the last bit of the roll.

           “Are you going to bring a date?” Alice asked, raising her eyebrows. What is she playing at? She knows I’m coming alone, I thought to myself.

           “No, I RSVP’d by myself. You should know. I’m sure you saw my response,” I remarked. She sighed, reaching out and touching my hand. This wasn’t a good sign. I looked at Stella and Maggie, who had amused grins on their faces.

           “Emma, you’re going to have to bring someone. Going alone isn’t optional anymore. You’ve been single for five years. It’s time you found someone. I’m sure it won’t be that hard for you,” Alice said in a mocking tone. At her comment the stepsisters burst out laughing. I felt awkward and it dawned on me that they all thought I was a joke. Over the years it seemed like Alice had started to see me as stupid or even a disappointment as a friend. I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten unto her comment about my love life.

           “No, It shouldn’t be that hard. I’m so glad you care so much about the state of my love life. Thank you for pointing out that I’m hopelessly lonely. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go home now. Start the process of finding a date,” I commented, restraining from showing them how upset I was. More giggles came from Stella and Maggie, Alice joining in this time. Finishing up lunch, I said my goodbyes to them and headed back to the Avengers compound, trying to hold my composure until I could get to the privacy of my room.

           “Did you have fun at lunch? Did you sort out more wedding details? Emma?” Steve greeted me as I entered the lounge, looking up from his sketchbook.

           “Hmm? Oh yeah, it was fine…just fantastic. If you’ll excuse me, I’d rather be alone right now,” I answered, quickly walking past him, down the hallway where my room was located. I kept my head down, hiding my expression when I collided into someone.

           “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there,” I mumbled, trying to get past whoever it was.

           “It’s alright. Hey, are you okay? You seem a bit down at the moment,” the voice, male, stated. I lifted my head to see Bucky standing in front of me. Ever since I joined the Avengers as someone who had atmokinesis and could generate any kind of weather, I seemed to get close to both Steve and Bucky. They were my best friends and I was grateful for them but I didn’t want to talk at the present moment.

           “I’m just peachy. Excuse me,” I replied, a little harsher than I meant to say and shoved past him to my room, slamming the door shut. Kicking off my shoes and changing into something a bit more comfortable, I drew the curtains, darkness enveloping the room. I crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over my head, trying and failing to block out the pain I was feeling.

           I let the tears fall, sobs racking my body as I replayed the conversation at lunch in my mind. I felt humiliated at the suggestion of finding someone for a date at this wedding. It meant that my friends thought I wasn’t capable of finding someone to fall in love with. As I thought about this, the lonelier I felt, the tears continuing to flow. Some time later, a knock sounded at my door followed by Steve’s voice.

           “Emma, is everything okay? It’s storming outside despite it being sunny a few minutes ago and no one called for it on the forecast. Thor’s off world so I know it can’t be him causing it. Come on Emma, open up,” he remarked. Great, my emotions were now affecting my abilities. I sat up, wiped the tears from my face and tried to calm down before I opened the door to let him in. I was surprised to find him and Bucky standing outside, concern etching their features when they saw the state I was in.

           “I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me, “ I responded, still sniffling a little.

           “Clearly, you’re not. The evidence is written all over your face. Can we come in and talk about it?” Bucky stated. I nodded and returned to the bed, Bucky and Steve close behind me. Steve laid down on the edge of the bed, Bucky stretching out against the pillows automatically pulling me against his chest.

           ���What happened at lunch? You were more cheerful when you left earlier.” Steve questioned. I clung to Bucky’s shirt, his hand rubbing soothing circles into my back.

           “It’s a stupid thing, really. I don’t even know why I’m crying about it. Basically, my friends think I’m a fucking joke,” I answered. I was upset about the conversation but now it was making me angry.

           “Come one, not all of us do. We’re your friends and I’m pretty sure we don’t think you’re a joke. What makes you think that?” Steve commented.

           “I don’t mean you guys. I was talking about the ones I met before joining the team. I’m supposed to go to Alice’s wedding and when she sent out the invitations we had to RSVP if we were bringing someone or not. I RSVP’d alone since I haven’t been seeing anyone,”

           “I found out today that I was supposed to bring someone and the reason I know that they think I’m a joke is because Alice pointed out that I’ve been single for five years and they don’t believe that I can find anyone to bring to the wedding,” I explained.

           “Then don’t go if it makes you feel that bad,” Bucky suggested. I shook my head at my suggestion knowing what would happen if I didn’t go.

           “If I don’t go then they’ll know I wasn’t able to find one which will make things worse. Besides, I’d like to go. It’s her special day and I’m happy for her, but I didn’t think I was such a disappointment in her eyes,” I commented, tears welling up in my eyes again.

           “Sh. You are not a disappointment. You’re an amazing person with wonderful abilities. Don’t let her get to you,” Steve reassured, rubbing my leg.

           “Okay, so now you need a date. Why don’t you ask Strange? He could be fun to go with,” Bucky suggested.

           “No, I’m not asking him. I adore that man but I think he’d rather mingle around with the others and they might think that I paid him or something. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s unavailable right now,” I commented.

           “Well, how I just go with you? We could have fun and it can be a vacation for the both of us,” Bucky stated.

           “I can’t ask you to do that. Besides, they’ll take one look at you and think I paid you as well,” I replied, causing him to furrow his brow in confusion.

           “Why? Is it because I’m an Avenger?” he asked, curious to know the answer.

           “It’s only part of it. The other part of it is that you’re fucking sexy and you’re such an amazing guy. I don’t think they’d really believe that you would come willingly,” I answered.

           “You think I’m sexy?” Bucky asked, a huge smile on his lips. Immediately, I felt the hear rush to my face. I ran my hands through my hair, fidgeting with a lock of it.

           “Yes. Yeah, I do. I did say that you were an amazing guy as well, but that face of yours with those gorgeous blue eyes and bear would make any girl swoon,” I answered.

           “That settles it then. I’ll go with you as your date. Where is the wedding anyway?” he stated.

           “At the Outer Banks for a week. We leave in two days,” I responded. Though we were going as friends, the week would soon bring new feelings to light.

   Two Days Later

           Bucky and I flew into RDU, renting a car to head down to the Outer Banks arriving at the house Alice had rented for a week in Hatteras. We met Alice, her stepsisters and another one of her friends who was the maid of honor in the driveway. As we walked up to them, I noticed my friends’ mouths dropped open at the sight of Bucky, surprised I had managed to find someone for a date.

           “Hey, guys. I’d like you to meet Bucky Barnes. My date for wedding,” I introduced him. They all greeted him, collecting their cool about the situation.

           “Shall we go inside?” Alice asked, gesturing to the front door of the giant house. It was beautiful on the inside of the four-story house. We had a private pool with access to the beach if we wanted to go there one day.

           “We al have our rooms but unfortunately there’s only five bedrooms despite the many stories to this house meaning Bucky and Emma…you two will be sharing a room as well as a bed,” Alice commented. She received snickers from the girls at the comment and I tried to keep my anger in check.

           “What? Why can’t you share with Bella or Maggie and Stella? On another note, where are your dates and Alice, where is your fiancée and your families located?” I asked, my hand squeezing Bucky’s for comfort. I didn’t mind sharing with Bucky but it was suspicious that she had singled us out.

           “Jamie is with her parents at the house across from us. My family is in the house right beside them on the left. As for their dates, they won’t be arriving until two days before the wedding. Since you’re the only one that brought you date with you, it seems only fitting that you two share a room. Is that going to be a problem?” Alice answered, her hands on her hips. More giggles followed but soon were silenced when Bucky released my hand to drape his arm over my shoulders.

           “No, not a problem. We’ll go put our suitcases away and then I’d like to hit the pool. Care to join me Emma?” Bucky replied, a smile gleaming on his face. I nodded and followed him to the top floor where our room, which had the view of the ocean from the balcony in it, was located. Setting down our suitcases, we sat on the queen-sized bed, relaxing for a few minutes.

           “Are you going to be okay? It seems like they’re gong to try everything to get you riled up. I know this isn’t ideal but it looks like we’re not going to have a choice. I’ll sleep on the floor if-“

           “No, no. It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t spent the night together anyway. All those undercover missions where we play husband and wife should have prepared us for this. Let’s just go to the pool. A nice swim will be fantastic,” I cut Bucky off. No need for him to suffer while he’s here. He nodded and we unzipped out suitcases to pull out swimsuits. I changed in the bathroom meeting Bucky in the room before we walked down to the pool in the back of the house. None of the girls had joined us and we swam around talking to each other until he splashed me. I splashed him back, starting a splash war, unknowingly getting closer to each other until we were only a few inches apart. He pulled me flush against his chest, his blue eyes darkening a little.

           We were breathing hard after our war and electricity shot through me as our skin touched, eliciting a gasp from me. The sparks traveled up my arms to my shoulders as Bucky trailed his hands up to cup my head, leaning closer, closer until…

           “Wow, the water feels great. Don’t you agree?” Stella’s voice called out, slicing the tension like a knife. I cleared my throat, breaking away from Bucky’s embrace.

           “Yeah, it does, especially with this heat,” I responded, swimming into the deep end. I plunged under the water, clearing my thoughts at what almost happened. I had always had an attraction to Bucky especially since we had become close and he was the sweetest guy around. This feeling was new, however, at the wish that I had wanted to feel his lips against mine, taking me in his arms, my hands finding their way in to his silky hair.

           Stop it Emma. You’re only friends. Why would he want you anyway? I thought to myself as I resurfaced. When I met his eyes again, I couldn’t help to feel that maybe he had wanted to kiss me as well. After about an hour, Maggie, Alice and Bella joined us, noticing Bucky’s metal arm and having a conversation about wedding details and interests outside of that. We took a break from swimming to eat lunch, Bucky and I sitting next to each other, one arm hanging down underneath the table, fingers about to brush up against one another’s

           “Wait, so how did you two meet?” Maggie asked us.

           “We’re work colleagues. Avengers and all that,” Bucky answered, turning to meet my eyes. He looked…different, almost like seeing me for the first time. He smiled sweetly, his fingers lacing through mine.

           Is he acting the part like we’re undercover? Or is this something new he’s feeling? I thought as he turned back to answer another question. We spent a few more hours at the pool, before meeting the other parties for dinner. It was nothing special, just a dinner at a seafood restaurant, which were common at the beach. Everyone wanted to get to know the man I had brought with me and I found myself admiring him as the night went on.

           Returning to the house, we played pool in the downstairs recreational room, retiring to bed a few hours later. I showered, changing into pajamas returning to the room. Climbing into the bed beside Bucky made me a little more nervous than before. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to run my hands down his toned chest, to feel his warmth pressed into me.

           “We survived the first day. I can imagine we can through the rest of the week just fine,” Bucky told me, interrupting my thoughts.

           “I’m sure you’re right. Bucky…” I stated.

           “Hmm? What is it?” he whispered, moving closer to me.

           “Thank you for coming with me. I don’t know if I would have been able to did this without you,” I told him. He was so close now. I could just lift my hand and…

           “You’re welcome. Good night Emma,” he stated, turning over stopping my actions.

           Damn. Get it together Emma. You’re only friends, remember that, I thought to myself, closing my eyes, drifting off to dreamland.

  The Next Day – Monday

           When I awoke, I was surprised to see that I was pressed into Bucky’s warm back, one arm draped over his torso. Slowly, I removed my arm from…well, I tried to…until he linked his hand with mine and held it against his chest. I debated between waking him up or just staying put and returning to sleep. Deciding on the former because I wanted to walk along the shore, I gently used my other hand to tap his shoulder.

           “Bucky, it’s time to get up,” I whispered in his ear. He groaned but made no move to let go of my hand.

           “Bucky. Come on, we can get breakfast and go for a walk on the beach,” I tried again, not whispering but talking in a low voice.

           “Mm, five more minutes,” he said, sleepiness in his voice. Sighing, I tried to pull my hand from his but he held tight and lightly pulled me closer. Of course he pulled to hard and I fell on top of his side. This time I tried to sit up just as he rolled over onto his back. Now, instead of cuddling him, I was straddling him, his hands landing under the shirt I had on. He sat up suddenly, our faces inches apart. My breath hitched as he leaned in closer, his eyes drifting down to my lips before flicking back up.

           “Um, we should probably get going,” I whispered, tilting my head as if I meant to kiss him.

           “Yeah, we really should…”he agreed. Neither of us was moving anticipating someone to make a move to kiss each other.

           “I should get off of you now,” I stated. He nodded and I reluctantly pulled myself off of his lap to make the trip downstairs. He stopped me by grabbing my hand, squeezing it as if to say come back and kiss me. I wanted to but I tugged him forward and released his hand, before exiting the room.

When I reached the kitchen, I saw that Maggie and Alice were already fixing breakfast.

           “Good morning Emma. Have a pleasant night?” Alice greeted me, a mocking glint in her eyes. No I wanted to make out with Bucky and that didn’t happen, I thought.

           “Yeah, it was pretty good. How was yours? I noticed Jamie was here for a few hours after dinner. Did she ever leave?” I answered instead. Alice frowned, but didn’t answer my question.

           “She left at midnight in case you were wondering. Where’s your knight in shining armor? Still asleep?” Maggie answered for her.

           “Nope, I had to put a shirt on. We’re planning on taking a walk on the beach today. Want to join us?” Bucky’s voice said as he walked into the kitchen. He strode over to me, kissed me on the top of my forehead, resting his arm on my shoulders.

           “No I think we’re heading into town but you two have fun,” Alice responded. An hour later, I had changed into a bathing suit, shorts and a tank top, meeting Bucky at the beach entrance near the pool. We walked out and talked non-stop, out feet in the water, laughing at jokes and well…being us.

           The more time I spent with him, the more my feelings began to grow for him. We returned to the house, had dinner by ourselves as the others had stepped out before we got back. After dinner, we tuned into a movie sitting close to each other, my head on his chest, and the feel of him warm and inviting.

           “Emma, hey wake up. Let’s go to bed,” Bucky’s voice alerted me. I guess I had dozed off because he had gently shaken me awake. I stretched my arms up before getting up, yawning, almost falling over in the process.

           “Whoa, easy there girl. Let me help you up the stairs so you don’t hurt yourself,” he stated, catching me. He lifted me up in his arms and carried me to our room. He laid me on the bed and climbed in beside me, pulling me close to his body. I wouldn’t know how much I really liked Bucky until a confrontation that occurred in the middle of the week revealed my true feelings.

  Wednesday

Tuesday went by quick with more wedding details coming together. Today we were at the pool partying, having a good time when Bella approached me. She was eyeing Bucky across the pool, talking to a couple of people; it was making me jealous the way she was ogling him.

           “So, you and Bucky? You’re not a thing are you?” She asked.

           “No. Why?” I answered; tensing up knowing the next question she was about to ask me.

           “You’re not into him right? So, you wouldn’t mind if I asked him out?” She questioned.

           “My feelings for him are none of your business and yes I do mind. Don’t you have your own date to this wedding?” I snapped. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

           “No, I don’t. I don’t see why it’d be a problem. He’s available and you’re not doing anything about it so he might be happier with me,” She replied. Bella didn’t give me time to protest when she sauntered over to him. I watched helplessly as she tapped him on the shoulder, watched as she whispered in his ear, as she kissed his cheek; he didn’t push her away. I ran out of the pool onto the beach to get away from what was happening in front of my eyes. I couldn’t believe he let her do that. He was my date, my Bucky.

           No, he’s not your Bucky. He’s just your friend and you let him get away, I thought to myself as angry tears ran down my face. I hugged my arms around myself, stomping along the shore.

           “Stupid Bella and her seducing people. I’m so stupid for not acting on my feeling. Ugh, why can’t she go find someone else to hit on? Why does it have to be the one person I have a crush on?” I said, mumbling to myself. In all my frustration, I hadn’t noticed Bucky running after me until he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

           “You have a crush on me?” he asked. My blood ran cold knowing he had heard me. No denying it now, it’s time to tell him the truth.

           “I…yes, I have a crush on you okay. It wasn’t something I had planned but from that moment we shared in the pool the first day here and then in the bed…things just developed. I saw Bella kiss you on the cheek. I assume she asked you out. Did you-“ I began but got cut off by Bucky’s lips on mine. His lips were soft and I wrapped my arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his silky locks.

           He pulled back, one hand cupping my chin, a loving look in his eyes.

           “I rejected her because I love you Emma. Always have, ever since the day you joined the team. I wanted to tell you but I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way. Now I know you do after seeing you reaction to someone else asking me out,” he stated. He kissed me again before suggesting that we head back to the party. Bella shot me a glare when we entered holding hands but I didn’t care. I had him and I wasn’t about to let him go.

           The party went on until close to midnight, Bucky and I sneaking upstairs to our room, locking the door. He kissed me, holding me tight in his arms. We walked to the bed, the edge making his legs buckle and for me to fall on top of him. We laughed but kissed again, beginning to make out. My hands found the buttons of his shirt and I slowly unbuttoned each one until I reached the last one, showing off his bare chest. He sat up so I could slide it off of him and I ran my hands over him feeling each muscle, resuming out make-out session.

           His hands found the hem of my tank top and pulled it off of me leaving me in my bra and shorts. He unhooked the bra, throwing it to the floor, once off and pushed me back onto the pillows. He trailed kisses from my neck to my collarbone, stopping momentarily to circle a finger around one my breasts, pulling on the nipple, occasionally rolling it around between his thumb and forefinger. He replaced his hand with his mouth, sucking on it massaging the other breast. Moving to the other breast, he repeated the same actions, returning to my lips after a few minutes.

           “Are you okay? We can stop if you think we are going too far,” Bucky told me.

           “I’m okay. Keep going,” I answered him. He smiled and trailed more kisses down to my chest, to my navel, and stopping to unbutton my shorts, pulling them off, my panties included. I was now completely naked in front of him.

           “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he stated, spreading my legs with his hand. He inserted two fingers of his metal hand inside; I flinched at coolness. He worked me slowly at first eliciting moans out of my mouth as he got faster, stopping to unbutton his jeans and pulling off his underwear revealing all of him. Lying down on top of me, he kissed me once before he met my eyes again.

           “I’m going to ask you again. Are you sure you’re okay with this? I don’t want to pressure you if you don’t want to,” he questioned again.

           “Buck, it’s okay. I want to. I want you,” I responded.

           “Okay good. I just wanted to make sure before we do this,” he told me. He kissed me again to get things started; his fingers finding that sweet spot once more. I moaned in his mouth at the touch, my arms wrapping around him, my legs spreading wider allowing him more access. He pulled out his fingers and leaned over the nightstand to pull out a condom. Bucky put it on and centered himself at my entrance.

           “Ready?” he asked and I nodded. At that he slid into me, another moan escaping my mouth, his size filling me. He pumped in and out of me slowly, then faster, fucking me hard and rough, both of us moaning and grunting in pleasure.

           “Faster! Oh, fuck! Bucky! Harder! Yes! I’m close. Oh, god! Bucky!” I cried out coming undone as we climaxed at the same time. He buried his face into my neck, coming down from our release, not pulling out just yet. Lifting up his head, he kissed me a few more times before pulling out of me, disposing of the condom and returning to bed; he lifted me so we could get under the covers. I turned to face him, kissing him, pulling his body against mine.

           “I love you Emma,” he confessed.

           “I love you too,” I told him. We fell asleep holding each other ready for our next adventure.

  Wedding Day

           The day of the wedding arrived, other days going by in a flash with everything coming together. At the rehearsal dinner, everyone had been shocked to see Bucky and I holding hands and kissing but Alice and her stepsisters were happy for us at the end of the day. Bella wasn’t so thrilled because she had wanted my boyfriend for herself. Yes, I said boyfriend. He had asked me officially two days after we had slept together. Of course I had said yes to him, glad to have found the one person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

           This morning I changed into a long, silver backless dress, coming out of the bathroom once I finished putting makeup on.

           “Hey can you help me with this necklace, sweetie?” I asked Bucky, handing him the silver chain with a heart pendant hanging on it.

           “Wow, you look absolutely beautiful,” he told me, taking it from me.

           “Thank you. You look quite handsome as well,” I stated, turning around for him to slide the necklace on, lifting my hair so he could clasp it. He fingers lingered on the back of my neck, moving to my shoulders so he could place a kiss in between my shoulder blades. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him, tilting my face so he could kiss me on the lips. My hands snaked in his hair, one of his hands sliding a strap of my dress off of my shoulder. He the slid the second one off too, both slipping off my arms, exposing my breasts.

           “What time do we have to be at the wedding?” he whispered, cupping my breasts, massaging them, pulling my nipples.

           “12 o’clock, which is three hours from now,” I answered.

           “Plenty of time then,” he stated, pushing the dress off my hips, the material pooling at my feet. One hand kneaded a breast, the other sliding down my stomach to my core. He slid my legs apart with his foot, so could insert two fingers inside me. I panted as he fingered me, inserting another finger, stretching me wider. He worked me faster, pinching my nipples, the pleasure intensified inside me.

           “Come for me baby,” he told me and I did, coating his fingers in my juices. I turned to face him, pushing off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off him as well. I moved to unbutton his pants but he stopped me, kneeling down in front of me.

           “Stay right there. I want to make you come in my mouth now,” he ordered, holding my hips. His mouth connected to my core and he started licking and sucking me, my hands flying to his hair, holding him there. I erupted again, Bucky standing back up, wiping his mouth before pulling me in for a kiss. I unbuttoned his pants, pulling them off as well as his underwear. He lifted me up and laid me on the bed, kissing me. We made out for a few minutes before he pulled out a condom, sliding on and entering me. Thrusting in and out of, he linked our hands together, holding them against the pillows, kissing me, fucking me. I let go, flipping him so that I was on top, linking our hands back together as I rode him, slow at first, getting faster.

           “Emma, fuck!” he cried out. I continued riding him until we both came undone. I collapsed onto him, panting, out hands still entwined.

           “We should get dressed. We’ve got a wedding to attend,” he told me after a few minutes.

           “Mm-hm, just give me another minute,” I stated. He chuckled, removing one hand and stroking my back. Leaning up, I kissed him and climbed off of him, getting off the bed to pick my dress off the floor. I changed back into my clothes as he did the same, descending the stairs to head to the wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, tears of joy were shed and afterwards we headed to the reception to celebrate even more. At a slow song, Bucky took my hand and led me to the dance floor. He held me close, my head resting on his shoulder.

           “I’m glad we did this. It was fun and now I’m happy to call you mine,” Bucky whispered in my ear. I lifted my head to look up at him, my eyes sparkling with adoration.

           “Me too. You make so happy. I love you Bucky,” I told him. He smiled, leaning down to kiss me.

           “I love you too,” he said when he pulled back. The reception ended a few hours later; we returned to the beach house to pack for home.

           The next day, we arrive back in New York and drove back to the compound. We entered and walked to the elevator to drop our suitcases off in our rooms. We shared a kiss waiting on it to arrive; a cheer came from behind us,

           “I told you that they’d end up together,” Nat’s voice called out. We turned to see Steve, Natasha, and Tony standing in the hallway.

           “Hey guys. Did you two have fun?” Tony greeted us. We nodded, laughing as Natasha held out her hand.

           “Pay up boys. I won the bet,” She stated, annoyed groans coming from Steve and Tony. The elevator arrived and we waved goodbye before making our ascent to our rooms. The wedding date was incredible and brought me to someone I fell in love with. We couldn’t be happier than with each other.

[everyonesawhoregrace]

Worst in Me

tag: @uknwwhttheysayboutthecrzy1s @moonliightbabes @marvelismylifffe

f i v e

“We need to be somewhere we’re safe.” 

“We’re safe here.” I argue. Staring at the glass of a beautiful honey brown whiskey. I don’t drink whiskey very much, but every time I do, I remember loving it, and missing the taste of it. 

My days gone pretty shitty, so I drown out my sorrows in this drink. This drink and I are one. I will devour this drink, and then have another whiskey until I am drunk. Christmas drunk, I really am the child of my awful parents. Rest In Peace.

“No, he’s right Alice.” Ada interrupts.

“I’m glad you two are finally agreeing on somethin’ fuckin’ hell.” I scoff. Taking another sip of my nearly finished glass of whiskey. I roll my neck, hearing a light snap in my tight neck before sighing.

Tommy’s rather upset. “We stay in Small Heath.” He instructs. “Ada, John and Arthur will agree, but you tell Polly. she’ll listen to you. Small Heath on Boxing Day, all of us.”

I can’t help myself, holding in my giggles. I press my the back of my hand to my mouth and grin. My reasoning to laughing is simple: the family Thomas singlehandedly brought chaos now hates him. The thought of them all under the same roof brings a giggling hum throughout my being. That’ll be a fiasco to say the least.

He snaps at me. “What the hell is funny, Alice?”

I stop immediately glare at him. I can’t remember the last time I’ve glared at Tommy before actually figuring it wasn’t that long ago.

I reckon Tommy was changing his clothes, stripping naked for what seemed like me. It was hot, my jaw dropped to the floor. I was glaring at the man before me - oozing of sex. He didn’t know what he was doing to me but I was extremely turned on.

Like a bubble that bursts, the thought of him with another woman consumes me. I’m filled with fear and jealous, burning from the inside out. I can’t help myself, I can’t stop the words from pouring out from inside of me. I speak my mind.

“Were you unfaithful to me?”

His eyes go wide, the widest I’ve ever seen. Scratch that, he gave me this exact look when I told him I was pregnant. 

“What?!” He spits.

Ada shifts uncomfortably in her chair and turns away. “Perhaps I should get going then....”

“No, you sit down!” Tommy instructs, his voice a bark. “We’re not done.”

I stand, “Answer the damn question!”

He points his smoke at me, as if I’m the one who needs to be yelled at. The way he manipulates the situation makes me sick. I’m not the one at fault here! I’ve kept my bloody legs closed for him, bastard. 

Ada withers her way out of this situation, “...I’ll go see Pol, it was nice to see the both of you.”

“Goodbye Ada.” I smile tightly at her, but look at Tommy. “Merry Christmas.” And a Merry Christmas it is indeed.

“You too,” she murmurs, brushing her hand over my arm, she gives me a squeeze as she makes her way out.

Now it’s Tommy and I, and I can’t help but instantly regret talking to him about this. Because by the way Tommy looks at me, I can tell, Luca didn’t lie to me. Tommy was unfaithful to me.

“Alice, sit down, w-we’ll talk” He says when the door shuts and we’re officially left alone. Hmm. A stuttering Tommy is very new to me. 

“No, I won’t fuckin sit down, alright.” I press my lips together, watching as he moves to sit down where I’m sat. I stand before him, folding my arms over my chest.

“Is that why you were upset with me?” He croaks, studying me. “You think I went ‘round with being unfaithful, Alice? Do you hear yourself, love?”

“You did! Stop denying it!” I frown, something takes over me. Perhaps it’s the fact that my husband was with another woman. My eyes well up, pulling on the sleeve of my shirt, I hold it up to the corner of my eye, hoping to catch the single tear. But fuck am I wrong, I’m about to break into a sob pretty soon. I press my fingers to my temple, trying to soothe this pain he’s brought me. “I can’t believe you.”

“Alice, please,” He stands and grabs my arms as if to shake me back to reality. His voice is calm, “Stop.”

I look up at him, feeling the disconnect. “Why would you do this to me?” I whisper.

“I told you I-“

“Enough with the lies!” I blink and the tears race down my face, I sniffle, pulling away from his grasp. “Don’t touch me.”

“You’re drunk and upset, come sit down-“

“I’m not fucking drunk!” I wobble away, rubbing my nose with the back of my hand. When I turn around again, I’m quick to throw my palms into his shirt, forcing him to take a step back. “You got her pregnant, you idiot! She died baring your child!”

“Alice!” He shouts, taking my hands in his.

I pull myself away, shaking at this point. Stay strong, Alice. Sniffling, I realize the answer is not to keep on talking to Tommy about this. He’s going to try his hardest to make me fall into his arms. I sniffle once more, telling myself it’s okay. Because it is okay, and now I have to adapt to this. “Look. I’m taking Nicholas and I’m leaving.”

The threatening remark brings truth.

“Alice, I was going to tell you but-“

But the truth I have been dying to hear only brings me pain. I frown, my bottom lip trembling. “Why would do this to us?” My voice rattles.

“Love, will you please just-“

“No! You cheated! You slept with another woman, I’ve done everything for you! I’ve given you everything!” But clealry, it wasn’t enough. Clealry, it wasn’t enough.

He shakes his hand around the side of my face and caresses my cheek. His eyes fill with regret, but I force myself to think he’s lying. I can’t believe anything he says now, how can I?

“Please, sit with me,” He pleads, looking at me. “Alice, please.”

“Tommy-“ I hiccup, “This is so painful. I-I can’t even breathe! Why would you do this to-“

The door creaks open and the sound of my baby’s giggles full the room. He storms in and jets right past me before jumping into his fathers arms. Tommy lifts him up, cradling him in his arms. I rub my eyes and head towards the window, where Nicholas can’t see me. He asks for me, calls me mum, but I can’t have him see me like this.

“What’s wrong with mummy?” He asks.

Thomas draws a blank. “Let’s go get you a bag packed, we’re spending Christmas with your cousins.”

“Yay!” My son loves his cousins enough to know that whenever dad says he’s going to see his cousins, he only pictures that. 

No! I want to say, Nicholas and I will spend Christmas somewhere else. Away from Tommy, but I only realize now the selfishness coming out of that idea. Using our son against Tommy.

I stare out the window, towards the courtyard that is empty and dry, covered in a thin blanket of snow. Tommy’s managed to wound me, firing off his weapon and shooting it right at my head. I’m wounded, like the dear he would have shot just yesterday.

Everything was alright, just yesterday.

I stare out the window, and see the maids begin to pack things into one of our many cars. I don’t want to go anywhere with Tommy. A knock sounds at the door and when I turn around I see the same maid I saw looking back at me. 

“Yes?” I feel drained, and by the way she looks at me, I can tell I look drained as well. 

“I’m sorry madam,” She chews on her bottom lip, “But the chef wants to know how many for dinner tomorrow and what you’ll be having-” 

“Christ, I don’t know.” I tell her, raising my hair as if to ask a question. “Tell Franklin we aren’t having anyone.” I snap, turning back to the courtyard. 

She clears his throat. “Franklin is no longer the chef here, madam. A rather impatient Italian man is the new chef.” 

My ears perk up when she says Italian, I turn to her and stare into her eyes. “How long have they been working here?” 

She smiles small. “About a month and a half ago.” 

Oh. Shit. “Alright.” I look around, where the hell are his guns? “Ah, I’m afraid we wont be in for dinner, but I’ll tell him myself, you can go.” 

The maid listens, and disappears, I quickly pull on the first drawer I see by his desk and see a handful of various guns. Without thinking, I pick up the first one and check to see if there are bullets fastened inside. There are at least eight bullets in the pistol, the silver gun is heavy in my hand. I can’t remember the last time I shot a gun. Fuck. 

I sigh loudly, red hair that sits over my face is blown upwards. The thought makes me want to laugh, yup. I’m drunk. This’ll be fun, maybe.