#just a stoic statue for for nobody

[dirty-spiced-chai]

VESSEL

SLEEP TOKEN

[digiships]

lsitening to rain by sleep token and thinking abt vashcupid again. abt to throq up at work

[ltash]

Rain Down On Me

Sitting in the base’s cafeteria, Simon's eyes fixed on a half-empty tray of food in front of him, though he wasn’t paying it any real attention. The room around him buzzed with the usual hum of soldiers chatting and clattering silverware, but it was all a distant noise to him. His mind was elsewhere. It had been for days now. Maybe even weeks.

You.

You were all he thought about lately, living in his head rent-free, taking up every spare moment of his attention. He didn’t understand how it had happened, how you had managed to slip past the walls he’d built so carefully over the years. He had never let anyone get that close. He didn’t know how. Yet, here he was, constantly replaying your smile, your laugh, the way you’d glance at him when you thought he wasn’t looking.

And it terrified him.

"For so long I’ve waited, so long that I almost became just a stoic statue fit for nobody…”

The words of Sleep Token’s Rain echoed in his mind, the lyrics almost a perfect reflection of his own internal struggle. He had waited so long, so long that he wasn’t sure if he was even capable of feeling what he used to, if he could still let someone in. All these years of isolation, of keeping people at a distance, had made him like stone. A statue. Unmoving. Detached. And wasn’t that easier? Wasn’t that safer?

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, trying to shake the thoughts. He was good at running and had always been good at it. Running from emotions, from connections, from anything that made him feel vulnerable. But with you, it was different. You were different.

And that scared him more than anything.

"I don’t wanna get in your way," he muttered under his breath, barely audible even to himself. He had spent so long staying out of people’s lives, staying in the shadows, that he didn’t know how to be a part of something real. And what if he did get in your way? What if letting you in meant dragging you into the darkness he carried with him? Could he really do that to you?

He was afraid. Afraid to admit it. Afraid of what it meant to feel again.

But the problem was, no matter how much he tried to run from it, you were always there.

You entered the cafeteria, your usual uniform hugging your frame, blending you into the sea of soldiers, yet somehow, you stood out more than anyone else in the room. To Simon "Ghost" Riley, you were more than just another soldier. You were the most beautiful human being he had ever come across in his life. He wasn’t just looking at you; he was memorizing every detail, every curve, every nuance of how you moved.

He swallowed hard, keeping his face composed despite the turmoil raging inside him.

"But I finally think I could say," he thought, his mind syncing with the soft lyrics of the song drifting through the speakers, "that the vicious cycle was over."

It had been. Before you came into his life, he had been trapped in a loop, cold, distant, emotionally detached. It was how he survived, how he managed to make it through the years without letting anyone get close enough to hurt him. But now, as he watched you glide through the room, something inside him shifted.

You turned, your eyes scanning the room until they landed on him. And when your gaze met his, time seemed to stop. His heart skipped a beat, and for the briefest moment, everything else faded away, the noise of the cafeteria, the responsibilities, the weight of his past. It was just you and him.

And then you smiled.

"The moment you smiled at me..." he thought, his heart clenching in his chest. That smile, so simple yet so full of warmth, hit him harder than anything he had ever faced in the field. It wasn’t just that you were beautiful, though you were. It was that your smile reached a part of him he hadn’t realized was still capable of feeling.

You walked over, tray in hand, your movements graceful yet casual, as though the weight of Ghost’s intense gaze hadn’t affected you at all. But inside, he felt as if the world had tilted slightly off its axis.

"Hey," you greeted softly, sliding into the seat across from him, your voice pulling him back to the present.

Ghost nodded, trying to maintain his usual calm exterior, but his mind was still racing. He had been so used to being numb that this sudden rush of emotion, of feeling, was almost too much to handle. But at the same time, he couldn’t deny how good it felt.

He wasn’t running anymore. Not from you. And that terrified him as much as it thrilled him.

The soft melody of Sleep Token’s Rain floated through the cafeteria, perfectly timed as the next verse spilt into the air.

"And just like the rain, you cast the dust into nothing and washed out the salt from my hands…"

The lyrics hit Simon like a wave, resonating deep inside his chest. He hadn’t realized how much he had been holding on to the weight of his past until now. You were like the rain, coming into his life so unexpectedly, cleansing him of all the grit and grime that had built up over the years, the burdens he had carried, the memories he had buried.

You didn’t just make things easier; you made them feel possible again.

He looked at you, really looked at you, as the words echoed in his mind. There you were, sitting right across from him, smiling as if nothing in the world could weigh you down. How was it that someone like you, someone so full of life, had managed to break through the walls he had spent years building? You hadn’t forced your way in. You hadn’t tried. You just… were. And that was enough.

The moment your eyes met his again, something clicked in his chest. For the first time, he didn’t feel like running. He didn’t feel like hiding. You had this quiet power over him, one that didn’t demand anything but instead gently coaxed him out of the darkness he had grown so accustomed to.

"Simon?" you asked softly, noticing the way he was looking at you.

He blinked, realizing he had been staring a little too long. Clearing his throat, he averted his gaze briefly before meeting your eyes once more. There was no point in pretending anymore. You had already seen through him.

"Thank you," he muttered, the words gruff but sincere.

"For what?" you asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"For… this," he gestured vaguely, as if trying to encompass everything that had shifted in him since you had walked into his life. "For being here. For… you."

You tilted your head slightly, eyes softening as you leaned forward just a little. "I didn’t do anything special, Simon. I’m just here."

"Exactly," he replied, his voice low but steady. "And that’s enough."

The rain outside began to fall harder, drumming against the windows of the base, but inside, all Simon could focus on was you. The song's lyrics played in the background, but they felt like they were made for this moment, for you and him.

He didn’t know how to say what he was feeling. Words had never been his strength. But as he looked at you, he realized he didn’t have to say anything at all. You already knew. You had always known.

And somehow, without even trying, you had washed away the parts of him that he thought were too broken to fix.

"So touch me again, I feel my shadow dissolving, will you cleanse me with pleasure?"

The lyrics seemed to fill the air between you and Simon, as though the song itself was speaking for the feelings he struggled to put into words. The steady beat of the rain outside mingled with the music, creating a rhythm that mirrored the quiet intensity of the moment.

Simon’s hand rested inches from yours on the table, a subtle gesture, but in his world, it was monumental. His fingers twitched slightly, as if he were hesitating, unsure if he should reach out. You glanced down at his hand and felt the tension between you grow. He was so close, yet there was still a small distance left for him to close.

Then, without a word, his hand moved. His rough, calloused fingers brushed against yours, tentatively at first, as though he was afraid of what the touch might mean. But when you didn’t pull away, when you instead turned your hand to meet his, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

Your fingers slowly intertwined with his, and the simple contact sent a wave of warmth coursing through him. It was more than just physical touch. It was trust, vulnerability, and a promise that neither of you had spoken aloud yet. He had spent so long keeping everyone at arm’s length, but here he was, letting you in without a second thought.

Simon’s thumb brushed over your knuckles, almost absentmindedly, as if he was trying to memorize the feel of your skin beneath his. His gaze stayed locked on your joined hands, the weight of what was happening sinking in. This, this connection felt so foreign to him, and yet, it was the most real thing he had experienced in years.

You glanced up at him, your breath catching slightly at the intensity in his eyes. He wasn’t Ghost right now, not in this moment. He was Simon. The man behind the mask. The one who had buried himself in darkness for so long he had almost forgotten what the light felt like.

"Simon…" you whispered softly, the weight of his name grounding the moment even more.

His eyes flicked up to meet yours, and there was something raw, almost fragile, in his expression. "I don’t know how to do this," he admitted, his voice barely audible over the rain outside. "But I want to try."

You smiled, squeezing his hand gently. "You don’t have to know everything right now. We’ll figure it out together."

A flicker of relief crossed his face, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Simon allowed himself to relax, just a little. There were no missions, no threats, no masks to wear. Just the two of you, sitting in the quiet of the cafeteria, hands intertwined as the rain fell outside.

"It's that chemical cut that I can get down with, up like the moon and out like the hounds…"

The song continued to play in the background, its lyrics almost matching the intensity that was building between you and Simon. It felt like there was something chemical, something almost dangerous about the connection you shared, a spark that ignited the moment you touched. That tension had been there for weeks, simmering beneath the surface, but now, it was undeniable. There was something about this moment about you that made Simon feel like he was standing on the edge of something both exhilarating and terrifying.

"A dangerous disposition," the lyrics whispered through the speakers, "somehow refracted in light, reflected in sound…"

He wasn’t good with words, and certainly not with feelings, but the song seemed to speak for him, articulating what he could not. You were the light, breaking through the darkness that had been his constant companion for years. It was as though you had cast a new reflection on his world, one that he wasn’t used to seeing but couldn’t look away from.

Simon’s thumb traced over the back of your hand slowly, his eyes lingering on the way your fingers were now intertwined. He didn’t know how something so simple could feel so powerful, so life-altering. You didn’t have to say anything. Your presence alone spoke volumes.

And for the first time, Simon didn’t feel the urge to pull away. He wasn’t running, wasn’t hiding behind his mask. He was here, in this moment, with you.

"You make things feel different," Simon said, his voice low and gruff. His eyes lifted from your joined hands to meet yours, a flicker of vulnerability in his gaze. "Like… it’s not just me against everything anymore."

Your heart swelled at his words, knowing how difficult it must’ve been for him to admit that. You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, offering him the silent promise that he wasn’t alone. Not anymore.

"I’m coiled up like a venomous serpent, tangled in your tranc, and I’m certain, you’ve got your hooks in me…"

The lyrics wrapped around Simon's thoughts like a reflection of the very thing he was feeling. He felt coiled, wound up tight, his emotions like a venomous serpent inside him, hissing and thrashing in confusion. But you, with just a look, a touch, had tamed that serpent. There was no escaping it now.

He was tangled in your presence, caught in your pull, and for the first time, he didn’t want to break free. He was certain you had your hooks in him. Not in a painful way, but in a way that made him feel anchored, like he had something real to hold onto for once in his life.

Simon looked at you again, and something inside him shifted. It was like watching the last of his defences crack and crumble under the weight of what he felt for you. His pulse quickened, the tension between you thick in the air.

"I can’t… stop thinking about you," he finally admitted, his voice rough, almost strained. "It’s like… I’m caught up in something I don’t know how to handle."

Your breath hitched at his words, knowing that for someone like Simon Riley to say something so vulnerable, it must’ve taken a monumental amount of courage.

"You don’t have to handle it alone, Simon," you whispered, leaning in closer, your face now inches from his. "You can let me in."

His gaze darkened, not with anger, but with intensity, an intensity that made your heart race. "I’m not good at this," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I don’t want to keep running."

He leaned closer, the space between you all but disappearing. The air felt electric, as if every inch of his body was pulled toward you, every nerve alight with need and something deeper, something he hadn’t let himself feel in years.

His hand moved, cupping your cheek with surprising gentleness, his thumb brushing against your skin as he drew even closer. His breath mingled with yours, and for a heartbeat, everything seemed to hang in the balance.

And then, without hesitation, Simon closed the gap, pressing his lips to yours.

The kiss was slow at first, tentative, as if he were testing the waters. But then the intensity built, like a storm breaking free after being held back for too long. His other hand found the back of your neck, pulling you in closer as he deepened the kiss, pouring everything he couldn’t say into that single moment.

You felt it, his fear, his desire, the weight of his emotions, and you kissed him back with the same intensity, your fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt, grounding yourself in the reality of him.

It wasn’t just a kiss. It was an unravelling, a moment where the walls he had built came crashing down, and for the first time, Simon let himself be vulnerable, let himself feel.

When he finally pulled back, breathless, he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed, as if he needed a moment to process what had just happened.

"You’ve got your hooks in me," he whispered, voice hoarse but full of something new, something that felt like hope. "And I’m not letting go."

"Nobody can say for certain, if maybe it’s all just a game,

When I open my eyes to the future, I can hear you say my name..."

The song played on, its haunting melody threading through the silence that lingered between you and Simon after that kiss, the moment still heavy with unspoken words. His breath was warm against your skin, his forehead resting gently against yours, as though he needed the closeness just to believe this was real.

"So rain down on me…"

You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. In that moment, the entire world seemed to slow down. Simon’s gaze was more open than you had ever seen it, stripped bare of the armour he always carried. It was as if he had been hiding not only from the world but from himself for so long, and now, in this brief, fragile space, he was letting himself be seen.

His eyes, dark and intense, held something deeper than the mask he usually wore. There were thousands of dreams swimming behind them, thousands of hopes that he had buried beneath layers of pain and duty. You could see it, the part of him that longed for more than just survival. The part of him that wanted something real, something worth holding onto. And you wanted to reach it. You wanted to read every unspoken thought, every hidden desire, to understand the man behind the shadows.

"Simon," you whispered, your voice soft, filled with the gravity of everything you felt in that moment. "I see you."

His eyes widened just a fraction, as if those three words had struck deeper than anything else you could have said. You saw him, not Ghost, not the soldier, not the mask, but him. The man who had lived through hell, who had lost so much, who had never allowed anyone to come close enough to truly know him.

For a moment, Simon said nothing, just stared into your eyes as if searching for something, some truth, some reassurance that this wasn’t fleeting, that it wasn’t just a dream. His grip on your hand tightened slightly, and you could feel the tension, the uncertainty still lingering.

"How do you do that?" he finally asked, his voice a low rumble. "How do you… make everything seem so different?"

You smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "Because you’re not as lost as you think you are."

He exhaled sharply, like your words had hit a raw nerve, but instead of retreating, he stayed. He stayed with you in the moment, allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way that he had never allowed before.

"I don’t know if I can give you what you deserve," Simon said, his voice heavy with doubt, but his eyes never left yours. "But I want to try. With you."

The rain outside began to fall harder, the sound of it mingling with the song still playing in the background. It was as if the world itself was offering its own promise, a cleansing, a renewal.

"So rain down on me..."

You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, a reassurance that you were there, that you weren’t going anywhere. When you pulled back, you kept your forehead against his, your eyes locked.

"I’ll take whatever you can give, Simon," you whispered. "As long as it’s real."

And in that moment, it was. Everything was real, his emotions, your connection, the bond that had slowly formed between you over time. It was raw and imperfect, but it was real.

He didn’t have to say anything more. The way his hand gently cupped your cheek, the way his eyes softened as he looked at you, that was enough. You had reached him. You had touched the part of him that no one else had been able to reach, and for the first time, he wasn’t afraid to let you in.

The rain outside continued to fall, washing away everything that had once stood between you. And for the first time, Simon Riley allowed himself to hope.

Pic Credit @chatskaja

[vivwritesfics]

No Need To Ask

Chapter Twelve - Toughening Up

The Norris' were a notorious crime family in the UK. One of many. With Norris, the head of the family, running operations with his son, Lando, they work to keep Y/N Norris, Norris' daughter protected. Life in a crime family wasn't something they wanted for her.

But with tension with one of the Spanish crime families rise, Norris and his now deceased wife come up with only one plan, offer their daughter to the Sainz's or risk an all out war.

Warnings: Death

1.9K words

Series Masterlist

The funeral service wasn't beautiful. It was sad. So, so sad. Every head of every family sat around the casket as it was lowered into the ground.

Hamilton sat in his black suit, black sunglasses covering his face. Y/N had met him for the first time that day, when he had shaken her hand and assured her that her father was a great man.

Lando sat beside Hamilton. He was stoic, even when his father's body was lowered into the ground.

Beside him was Vettel, and Charles Leclerc was beside him, attending in his brothers place. Carlos and Y/N sat beside Charles; her status as Carlos’s wife was all that mattered. Nobody cared that she was the daughter of the deceased.

Fernando Alonso, who had half of Spain as his territory, were sat with Y/N and Carlos. He was an incredibly kind man, who had pulled Y/N in for a comforting hug as soon as he realised who she was (but that had made Carlos literally growl at him).

Gasly was there. If it wasn’t for the meeting with the heads of family, he would have sent his son and his right hand man, Esteban, on his behalf. That would have been interesting to see, since Esteban and Pierre hated each other.

Sargeant was there with his son, Logan. Alex Albon (head of the Albon family), was there too. Although his territory was in Thailand, he had grown up in England and conducted most of his business from there, until just a few years ago. He’d been head of the Albon family since he was sixteen, the youngest head of family ever.

Jos Verstappen was there. He’d always been overly critical of Norris, especially when Max and Lando had become friends. He sat there, his expression unimpressed, his arms folded over his chest. He stared at Y/N, not taking his eyes off of her.

Y/N sat there in the rain, trying her best not to meet Jos Verstappen’s eye. She hadn’t had to see him at her wedding, since Max had come over to congratulate the couple instead.

Norris was buried between his wives. Lando’s mother was on the left, and Y/N’s mother was on the right.

After the funeral, the heads of family made their way back to the Norris house. Carlos tried to lace his fingers through Y/N’s and pull her back towards the house, but she moved away from him, wouldn’t touch him.

Instead, Y/N took a seat in front of her mothers’ headstone. The ground was wet on the bottom of her black dress, but she didn’t much care, not when she was finally with her mother. “If I could have had anybody at my wedding, it would have been you,” Y/N whispered as she traced her fingers over the letter on the headstone. Helena Norris. “I just wish you could tell me why. Why did you arrange for me to marry this man, mum? He's a monster!”

The rain hid the tears running down her cheeks. “I’m so unhappy,” she whispered and wiped at her cheeks. “I wanted the chance to marry somebody I love, but now I can’t. He hates me.” Y/N sucked in a deep breath. “I-I wish I was more like you. I wish I was strong enough to handle this.”

Y/N sat there for only a minute more. The rain soaked into her dress and she shivered, but that wasn’t enough to get her to move.

Suddenly somebody was standing behind her. He cleared his throat, digging the toe of his shoe into the ground. “You okay?”

“I don’t know, Lan,” Y/N answered. There was no point in saying ‘no’, what good would it do?

Lando stood at his own mothers grave. When Y/N’s mother first started seeing his father, Lando spent a lot of time out here. He missed his mum; she had been a sweet woman, she had a soft voice and was so, so kind. Now Lando thought about it, she was a lot like Y/N. It took Lando a while to get used to the thought of having a new mum. He was at an age where he didn’t understand why he needed to have a new mum, why couldn’t he just have his old one?

When he got older, he started speaking to her headstone. Especially after his father got sick. It got to the point where nobody knew more about Lando than his own mothers grave.

“When I got home from Spain, I realised I never got you a wedding present,” he said, tracing his fingers along the Norris insignia on the headstone. “I came out here to ask mum what I should get you.”

It didn’t get Y/N jumping up and asking him more, like he thought it would. So, Lando did the one thing he could think of. He crouched down beside her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

“You are Y/N Norris,” he began, and she didn’t bother to correct him. “You are the daughter of Helena Norris. You can take charge of the Sainz family, cuckhold him out of his own crime family.”

Y/N let out a bitter laugh. She stood up and dusted off her dress. “No, Lando, I can’t. I’m not Y/N Norris anymore. And yeah, I might be the daughter of Helena Norris, but she didn’t want me being tough and strong like her. She wanted me to be quiet and submissive.”

Lando shook his head. “No, she wanted you to be unassuming. She just never got a chance to teach you to strike.

The siblings headed back to the Norris house together. There was only a week until she went back to Spain, Lando had to teach her everything he knew before she went.

***

Y/N slept incredibly well in her childhood bedroom. It was cool, the sound of the rain soothing. Her husband was in the room next door, Y/N just wished he could have been further away.

Lando had set her alarm for five thirty. At five forty-five, he burst into her bedroom with toast and orange juice and handed it to her. “Get up, get dressed and meet me down in the gym,” he commanded.

Nodding her head, she ate.

Thirty minutes later Y/N was in the Norris home gym. Lando was her trainer and, boy, was he putting her through her paces. He had her sweating through her shirts as she used the machines.

It wasn’t just the gym that Lando was having her doing. He found his old Spanish text books from when he was at school and gave them to her. He let her lock herself in the library as she studied.

It was all a part of Lando’s plan to get Y/N on top. His want for her to take over the Sainz family wasn’t selfish, but it was the best way Lando could think of to keep her safe and happy. He taught her things that Helena Norris had taught him, ready for when he became the head of their family.

“It’s all about knowing when the time is right,” said Lando as they sat in his office. “Like, I took control once dad fell ill. I could have tried to take control from him much before that, but it would have fucked things up for me, for all of us,” he said. “I know the example doesn’t apply to your situation, but look at it like this: Sainz is the head of the family, not Carlos. If you try and take control from Sainz, he could have Carlos lock you away, never to be seen. But if you keep playing the weak little wife who’s terrified of her husband and wait for Carlos to be head of the family, he’ll never see it coming.”

Y/N stared at her brother. These men were terrifying to her. They still had guns, but probably had about twenty different ways to kill her with their bare hands anyway. There was no way Y/N could try and take their control.

“Lan, I just want respect. I don’t want to run the family, I just want my Husband to respect me,” she said. She didn’t care about Sainz, she cared about Carlos. Well, not exactly cared, but she was already sick of this marriage being miserable.

Lando sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “You’re going to hate this, but you’ll need to stand up to him.”

For the week that they were home, Lando kept Y/N in the gym. For an hour every morning, he had her in the gym. It wasn’t about changing her shape or building her strength, it was about building confidence.

When she got a spare minute, Y/N sat in the library, at her mother’s desk as she read through the Spanish books Lando had given her.

There was a knock at the library door. Getting up from the desk, she walked over and unlocked it, letting the person it. It could only have been Lando or a member of the house staff.

It wasn’t. Her Husband strode into the library, kicking the door shut behind him. Upon seeing him, Y/N turned on her heel and returned to the desk, ignoring him completely.

“Your brother said I could find you in here,” said Carlos as he looked around the library. He’d been in here once before, but it was so long ago that he could hardly remember it.

Y/N let out a snort. “Did he now?”

“I wanted to see if you’d like to play some chess.”

She shut the Spanish book in front of her and looked towards Carlos. The husband, the man who had spent the last few weeks causing her such anguish. “You want to play chess with me?”

Carlos nodded his head.

But then Y/N smiled. She stood from the desk and walked over to where she used to keep the chess set, when she lived in the house. It was exactly where she had left it, a thin layer of dust covering it. She picked it up and placed it on the little round table in the middle of the room.

“Okay,” she began as she opened the case containing the chess set. She pulled out the board and laid it on the middle of the table. “We’ll play chess, but I have some conditions,” she said, placing down the white pieces. “Every time I take a piece, you have to answer my questions.”

“And what do I get?” Asked Carlos, watching as she set down the black pieces.

Y/N thought on it for a second. But then she realised she didn’t case. She didn’t care what Carlos wanted. And she told him exactly that.

Carlos smirked. This was a side of Y/N he hadn’t seen before. It was what she had tried to do while they were on the plane just a few days earlier, and Carlos could recognise that, but this was another level. He liked it.

“Okay,” he said, leaning forward. The white pieces sat in front of him, Y/N placing the black pieces in front of herself. “Let’s play.”

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[thescriptorium]

@rheuiao and i have been COOKING in chat and need to share

don’t shoot me, but i would’ve loved to see caitlyn be even MORE of a villain but tbh some of yall could not handle all that. so let me explain:

i think it would’ve been so entertaining, so devastating and perfect if Caitlyn really did fall into this puppeteer-dictatorship where she was strung up on a throne, and blamed for all of Ambessa’s wishes and desires.

Because she’s not only a Kiramman, but an outcasted Kiramman, ever since she was a child, right? Nobody liked her, she had no friends other than Jayce, who was always older and too busy for her. She can take the heat and the pressure and the shit-talk because she’s already used to it. From childhood, to rookie enforcement. Her natural state is this stoic neutrality, this Mask she wears to preserve herself, her family name.

The mask she wears now, to preserve this reputation being crowned on her. This cold, calculating commander whom no one can cry or convince to move illogically.

So seeing Caitlyn slowly deteriorate, episode by episode, giving up her morals in Ambessa’s pursuit of justice, would be so awful and lovely to watch.

To think that Caitlyn in season one breaks Vi out of jail, only now to be the one imprisoning people. To be re-poisoning streets after dismantling shimmer factories, to be completely emotionally devoid after hugging a shimmer-ravaged stranger in one of the deepest cracks of the sumps.

It would be a complete unraveling of her character. We get to the bones, we get the worst of her, of what she’s capable of. What her name and power in this story is capable of.

We learn this is someone to be feared. Who doesn’t flinch under rage or hatred, who doesn’t care to be known or understood so long as her orders are followed.

And then just as she reaches this point of being “unredeemable” the mask finally drops. It’s unexpectedly terrifying. Everything turns on its head.

And then Caitlyn proves yet again that no one ever truly knows what she’s planning, or her next move. No one knows that she’s always been one step ahead, and this betrayal of Ambessa has been a long time coming. Because she’s known about her manipulative memorial attack, she’s known that Ambessa has been grooming her. She’s been seething and biding her time and now she gets to enjoy the grim realization on her face as Caitlyn finally outsmarts her.

Her torturous patience, her ruined reputation, the loss and betrayal of her one true love—every single knife has prepared her for this moment. The final kill. The one that bleeds her dry, that tears into her, that makes her this monster.

But it’s a monster worth redeeming. It’s a monster that understands why Jinx blew up the council. After seeing firsthand (and abusing herself) the control Piltover has over Zaun. How much they’re responsible for ruining their land, their health, their lives. It’s her lowest moment and it’s when our Caitlyn finally returns, only with blood on her hands.

Blood she can’t clean off. Blood she can’t take back. Blood that flashes now when she closes her eyes, when she finally cries into them at what she’s done.

I think her lines of “no amount of good deeds can undo what we’ve done” would be so much stronger here, if she added, “but it doesn’t mean we don’t try.”

This is when we see the start of Caitlyn’s lore, finally taking shape. The Sheriff of Piltover, this beautiful, immovable staple of the city. Who can command airships and snipe foreign infiltrators, and solve any mystery thrown her way.

She can be known as ruthless, cold and calculating, a complete dictator to work with. But we know that’s just the mask, because we’ve seen how she is in quiet moments with Vi. With people she’s saved. That tenderness that never really went away in season one, even for a stranger.

Her redemption starts with giving up her Council seat to a leader of Zaun. It’s relieving herself of this corruption that comes with her name, her status. She uses what remaining power she has to release Jinx from captivity, and ban inhumane cells in Stillwater. She reinforces the ventilation tunnels for their original purpose and tries to sleep at night. She can’t undo her mistakes but she can continue making changes that are worthwhile. She can threaten to pull funding from the Wardens when violence builds, and keep archives of dirty secrets—just in case anyone with power gets too out of line.

Caitlyn could earn our trust back, with all these small unseen steps. She can pull the strings of this city, but no amount of good deeds will redeem her from what she’s done. So she works tirelessly and isolates in her family mansion.

And her only indulgence is one of love. The quiet nights she expects to be alone, only to find Violet by her window—opening the glass and simultaneously her heart. Her cold, unredeemable heart that Vi accepts without hesitation, for reasons she’ll never come to understand. Other than Vi being the only good in the world, while she represented everything evil.

Caitlyn does not believe she’s a good person. But what makes her so bittersweet as a character is that she works hard to be. All because of these devastating lessons she had to learn.

Being good is a choice someone like her has to make. It has to be a consistent breaking against this mold of privilege and power. For Vi, for people like her. The hope of that statement.

For the love of a stranger, and the grief of a mother—who died trying to vote for peace.

[princeblue]

Sometimes I think about how the fandom has this perception of Giyuu as someone who is mercilessly bullied by the Hashira and can’t defend himself when that is literally not true, like. Giyuu continuously digs a hole for himself when he is around them, he uses these words like “im not like you guys” after he decides he’s going to walk out of the Hashira meeting because he thinks he can’t unlock the demon slayer mark.

And who wouldn’t look at Giyuu, a stoic man who hardly interacts with the other Hashira and uses words in a monotone voice saying he’s different from everyone else and not think “this guy thinks he’s above us” which is literally what Sanemi thinks when he sees Giyuu and Giyuu’s behavior.

Sanemi grew up a poor child in a poor town with people who did look down on him for his very existence, why would he not challenge and provoke someone who, in sanemi’s eyes, is saying he’s better/different than everyone else without no real proof?

And again, Giyuu is given two opportunities to explain himself, to actually say what he thinks about himself and his status of a Hashira. But he does not, and when he’s given the second opportunity (sanemi asking him “what do you mean by that”) he instead brushes off his fellow Hashira and continues to walk away, once again affirming this ideal of a person who thinks himself higher above the others.

At most the majority of the Hashira think of Giyuu with either curiosity or nothing at all, Sanemi and Obanai are the only ones who really don’t like him and voice their opinions on him which is always with contempt and Shinobu is the only one who is generally kind to him because she wants to be, and even then she has her moments of frustration and cruelty (“nobody likes you” in the mountains) which is what I assume is from how Giyuu holds himself and possibly her having the same ideal as Sanemi/Obanai but because of the persona she’s garnered for herself she’s not outright cruel and merely more passive aggressive but again, also curious. Which is where their friendship is sparked.

And this isn’t to say that Giyuu should spill his hearts and guts out to the Hashira, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. Depression affects people in many ways and there’s no denying he’s someone with an extreme amount of self hatred and depression, but he’s also a Hashira who held his own against an Akaza who was legitimately trying to harm him and unlocked his demon slayer mark, he is capable of defending himself, he is capable of saying “shut the fuck up.” When someone says something about him that is meant to harm his feelings, he’s not some uwu precious bean and if Giyuu had expanded what he meant, “im not like you guys, im weaker.” The Hashira; specifically Obanai and Sanemi, would have regarded him differently and might not have been as cruel.

All in all, it’s very justifiable that Obanai and Sanemi held contempt for him, again Giyuu only continued to make himself look worse in their eyes, but he’s not mercilessly bullied by everyone he comes into contact with, because while we’re at it he’s also a snarky asshole (“why don’t you go train more” when he ties up Inosuke, calling sanemi a simpleton when he says he can’t wait to unlock the demon slayer mark, calling Tanjirou weak/stupid when he’s a traumatized child who just saw his entire family dead and now this strange man is trying to kill his sister)

And it really really fucking bothers me when people hate on Sanemi and Obanai for this, Obanai is a little bit more harder to dive into for me personally, but I feel like his dislike is garnered by being a supposed special person above others and it only brought him pain and death. To him there’s nothing special about being special so why would he like someone who “claims” they are?

Again this isn’t to say that Giyuu owes everyone an explanation, but he’s not owed any kindness or comradeship when he appears as someone who is indifferent or views themselves as simply being higher than others.

[twstowo]

Forbidden Wishes [Jamil]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗SYNOPSIS: Jamil is nothing but a servant meant to be a fraction of what he truly could be and along what he desired you were the only thing he could never have.

♡︎I might write more stuff like this about Jamil. I just love him so much. However, I might like angst even more…

♡︎Warning: Angst

He was just a boy, a servant, a nobody. Instructed to behave and never outshine Kalim, always relegated to the shadows, never permitted to reveal himself as anything more than a servant entitled only to his own name.

A child devoid of the concept of fun, observing other kids his age playing in the street while he dutifully walked alongside Kalim, ensuring his safety. A child deemed worthless, once again poisoned while sampling one of Kalim's dishes, only to be exploited by those in higher positions. A slave with no escape, destined to a life where he would forever be a servant, unable to be himself, to pursue his desires, or to have his name recognized beyond the confines of servitude.

“Jamil!” Your voice echoed through the corridor, a noble from another land, easily discernible by your attire that differed markedly from the traditional clothing of Scalding Sands. "I was looking for you everywhere." You approached with a smile.

"Is there anything I can do?" A polite response, as he acknowledged your noble status.

"I wanted to give you this." You presented a culinary book, and his eyes widened. A few days ago, when you, Kalim, and Jamil were in town, Jamil stood a few steps behind as a mere guard. He overheard your cheerful conversation with Kalim and couldn't understand why you enjoyed talking to him so much. Along the way, you passed a small library, and in front of it was a peculiar culinary book with recipes from other lands—something Jamil had never seen. He recalled you questioning if he liked anything, but he quickly dismissed you, claiming it wasn't the reason Kalim and you were there. He was surprised that you spotted the book he had eyed amidst all the others, impressed by your keen observation.

"I'm thankful, but I cannot accept it." He gave a slight bow, concealing a hint of embarrassment. His stoic face betrayed the pounding of his heart as he looked up at you again. He wished he could take that book, cook dishes from your land, and see you smile. He yearned for time alone with you, without Kalim around to pester the two of you. Yet, he knew it would never happen. Even if Kalim wasn't the object of your affection, he knew you were engaged to another man, a noble. Perhaps that was why he enjoyed your company—you somehow understood his feelings. While he was stuck being a servant for life, you were trapped in a role as an object meant to pacify two lands through marriage. Both fated to never be what you desired.

"I'll just have to give it to Najma, and then she can give it to you." A smirk played on your lips, knowing Najma would happily assist you. He sighed, accepting the book without meeting your gaze, afraid that he might smile like a fool, grateful that you thought of him.

"I will keep it. Thank you again."

"If you really want to thank me, you could cook some of those dishes for me." Your mischievous suggestion left him wide-eyed, and he swore that if circumstances were different, he would have kissed you right there.

How cruel fate is for some of us.

[fromduck]

Vampire Slayer: THREE

Warnings: Baby Reader almost kills someone

A/N: Enjoy!

“What is that smell?” 

Four vampire children huddle around each other as they look around for the delicious smell.

It was another one of those boring parties where vampires of higher status mingled. Or more so an excuse for vampires to gossip and discuss the latest musings of the vampire world. 

That deliciously sweet smell being one of them. 

Kaname looked around boredly as Hanabusa sniffed the abnociously. An annoyed Ruka smacks him in the head, “what are you a dog? Don’t you dare act a fool in front of Lord Kuran.” She turns to him with expectant eyes of praise for doing something in his honor. 

Her eager look deflates as she realizes he’s not even looking at her. 

Instead he’s looking at the crowd of adult vampires, surrounding something. 

“What are they looking at?” Akatsuki mumbles trying to look over the taller vampires, letting out a grunt when he can’t see anything.

“Ooooh! I wanna see! I wanna see!” Hanabusa exclaims, already trying to push his way into the crowd. Before his small figure can be swallowed up by the bigger bodies of the adult vampires, Akatsuki grabs him by the back of the suit. “Hold on you idiot, don’t go seeking out trouble like you usually do.” 

Offended the blonde child gasps as he points an accusing finger to the ginger haired boy, “you hypocrite didn’t you get in trouble for sneaking out the other day-“

Grabbing him in a chokehold, the once stoic boy is flustered, “quiet you! Nobody knows about that!” 

Feeling frustrated by their immature behavior, Ruka starts to yell at them. “Stop this childish behavior! Really do you have no shame acting like this infront of Lord Kuran?!”

The three of them start to bicker, Kaname starts to walk away from the annoying trio as he pushes through the adults crowding the delicious smell.

As he gets closer, the sweet smell of honey starts to seep into his nostrils, his mouth watering. Even for a pureblood vampire, he was just as weak to the smell as any other vampire. 

“Alucard, you have lost your mind.” He hears one of the elder vampires scowl. Burgundy eyes shift to said vampire in question, Alucard only gives off a shrug as he offers a lazy smile. 

“What can I say? Hellsing was my greatest enemy after all, I’ve grown to respect him. It’s only right that I take his daughter as my apprentice.”

His response only causes an uproar as many vampires all try to get a word in to argue with the uncaring pureblood. 

Kaname doesn’t even bother to listen to the back and forth of the furious vampires and the uncaring responses of Alucard. 

He only focuses on the small girl in his grasp. He noticed how she stood motionless as the pure blood held her shoulders. 

Soft looking h/c hair that messily framed her chubby cheeks. Big e/c eyes that had an innocent gleam to them. She barely reached Alucard’s stomach and she seemed to be fiddling with something in her tiny hands. She looked dirty and unbathed. And yet the soft smell of honey emitted from her in waves.

She was like a lamb surrounded by wolves, he didn’t miss the hungry gazes that the vampires all gave her. She was easy prey, someone could just rip her from Alucards. grasp and devour her. She was harmless.

Is what he originally thought. 

“That human is going to die Alucard, she will be eaten by the end of the night, you have made a grave mistake bringing her here. Much less spewing out such blasphemy.” 

At the vampire’s words, an amused smile grows on his face. “Go right ahead, you can eat her.”

He lets go of her shoulders and steps back. He lifts his hands in surrender, motioning to the defenseless girl. 

“Anyone can take a bite.” 

No one says anything, baffled at his words.

For a second no one stepped forward too shocked by his nonchalant behavior. 

It isn’t until one brave soul steps forward. A teenage vampire who is practically salivating at the mouth as he approaches the girl. 

The girl in question has no reaction, unflinching as the vampire gets on his knees in front of her. 

Kaname sees her perfectly calm in areas where anyone else would be trembling and fighting. She remains a statue, unmoving and unemotional.

When he exposes her neck and sinks his fangs, Kaname doesn’t even see her flinch. In fact, he sees how her eyes stare down at the vampire feeding from her. Looking at him as if he were as insignificant as a mosquito rather than the bloodthirsty beast he was. Her hands continue to fiddle with the object in her hand. 

Everyone watches with bated breath as the sounds of him drinking her blood sound out through the room. Some start to inch forward to get a chance to sink their teeth into the little girl. 

Only they never get to before the teenager is ripping away from her with a gasp. His lips are stained with a black inky color that he immediately tries to hack out of his mouth. 

“What the hell?!-” He’s interrupted by a harsh cough from his throat. His red eyes widened in horror at the sight of his own blood coating the floor.

“What’s wrong with that girl! Her blood’s so-! OH MY GOD IT HURTS! SOMEONE HELP ME!”

He’s wailing in pain as he screams for help, crawling away from the little girl. 

Only the little girl follows him. 

With her soft looking hair and innocent looking eyes, she reveals the small knife she was fiddling with in her hands.

She makes a small incision in her hand, as she approaches the crying vampire.  Mercilessly, she clamps her bleeding hand over the vampire's wailing mouth. 

His eyes widen in fear as her black blood trails into his mouth, he’s trying to force her hand away but she overpowers him. 

She stares down at him as life begins to flicker out of his eyes. Her gaze was neutral as if she had only killed an annoying mosquito. 

As this happens, the vampires watch with horror, all of them moving away from the child they once thought helpless. Thinking she would turn on them and force them to drink her black blood. 

The only ones near her are Alucard and Kaname. Alucard clapped excitedly from the brutal murder of one of his acquaintances.

“I’ll be the first to admit that Hellsing was a difficult bastard to kill. But he was oh so fascinating! He survived in areas where many humans would have perished, I had always seen him with many vampire bite wounds and yet the old dog was still human! You can imagine my surprise when I tore him to shreds and his blood almost killed me!” He says cheerfully, as if he were relaying fantastic news.

Once the vampire stops squirming and he lays limp on the floor, the little girl moves her hand. Placing pressure on the wound, her big eyes find Kaname, who stands there watching her stoically. He’s unafraid, challenging her to try to kill him. She takes small steps to himself. For a moment he can see a rage deeply hidden in her pretty e/c eyes, that is directed at him. 

“This is what I have found out so far if you would all so kindly listen:

They have immunity from our kind.  They cannot turn into level E vampires. They are also quite resilient against pureblood powers, that’s why I’m careful with this little one.” He grunts as he bends down to pick up the little girl. Effectively stopping her from killing Kaname. If he weren’t a Kuran, he would gladly watch her smother him in her blood. He just didn’t want to deal with the wrath of the Kurans. 

He dodges her chubby hand trying to force her blood onto his mouth, “this one also has a natural inclination to kill us! Isn't the Hellsing bloodline so fascinating?” He jokes around, bouncing the girl in his arms as if she were a harmless little baby. 

He fakes a motion of throwing her at the vampire crowd, in which they all scream and try to back away. 

Alucard lets out a cackle at their fear, deeply amused. 

“What's the matter? Scared of a little brat?” He coos, rubbing his gaunt cheek against her chubby one. She makes a motion to bite him in which he moves his head away, not paying her mind.

“I just wanted to let you all know that Hellsing’s devil spawn will be my apprentice. Anyone who tries to interfere with my plans will be answering to me.” 

With that he swivels around with the little girl in his arms. Kaname watches as they leave, the little girl glaring at all the vampires with rage. 

He could feel the bloodlust rolling off of her in large waves as she gave them all hateful looks. Wiping her bloodied hand onto Alucard’s jacket, her doe eyes find him staring at her. She sneers at him, flipping him off. 

He can’t help but let a little chuckle, like Alucard he too was amused of the little girl. 

He was interested to see her again. 

[sleepomen]

For so long, I have waited

So long that I almost became

Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody

And I don't wanna get in your way

[coffee--writes]

Graceland Too

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, Violence, and Drug Use (Not by Reader or Five)

A/N: This is inspired by Graceland Too by Phoebe Bridgers. The lyrics are italicized!

Summary: Five Hargreeves embarks on a mission with you, a Commission mystery.

Five Hargreeves had not been there when you arrived with scars on your skin and your lips in a thin line. 

Although he hadn’t been there, he had heard all the stories. 

You were a Commission daydream. You were hard as steel. Took orders without a second thought. No one ever broke through that stony exterior of yours, something the two of you had in common. But that didn’t stop the stories from getting around. That day you showed up scarred and cold, you had been running from something. Abusive family, violent parents, constantly cracked up or hungover. No food on the table, barely a warm sheet to cover you at night. You had been in and out of depression. In and out of your mind. 

Then one night, things changed. 

The night you decided you were no longer a danger to yourself or others. 

You made up your mind that night, the night your parents didn’t show. You laced up your shoes, yelled down the hall of your crumbling apartment building. Nobody answered. So you walked outside without an excuse to stay. That night, as you stumbled through city streets, starving, thirsty, bruised, defeated… the Commission saved you. 

You were everything they could’ve wanted. A clean shot of an assassin, a hardened soldier loyal to its infantry. You spoke little. Friends were out of the picture. Another thing, you and him had in common. But one thing was never doubted , that you could do anything you wanted to. One of the highest kill counts, most assignments completed, employee of the year. 

A Commission daydream. 

Your story was infamous. It was one Five Hargreeves resonated with, admired. After all, his family had never been the definition of functional but at least he had had people to call home. Your story ran through his head as he stood outside the Handler’s office listening to your voice, quiet but firm. Your voice never raised and he wondered how you did it. He was indulgent to his anger. It was the driving force behind every kill, every shot. But even as you argued, the Handler’s voice becoming increasingly frustrated, yours never raised, not a decibel. 

The result of the argument over this particular assignment had ended in your favor. Not a shock, you could do whatever you wanted to do. A high-end assignment could easily be won in your favor. What was a shock was you approaching Five, paper in hand. 

“Boss says I’ve got to have a partner for this one.” you state blankly, sliding the paper across the lunch table to him. “How about it, Hargreeves?” 

He blinked, reading the paper, glancing up at you. Another thing Five knew about you, you could go home. The Commission had signed off on it, the works and all. But no, you stayed. Dedicated as ever before. The thought ran through his head, your eyes glared into his. You could go home, but you weren’t going to. 

He didn’t know what prompted him to state a firm, “Sure”. Maybe it was the cold, blank stare in your eyes. Maybe it was the quite beautiful, stoic impression you had. Like the marble of a Greek statue, depicting some tragic tall tale. But whatever it was, it earned him a delicate smile. “Thanks.” you replied, leaving him wondering what on Earth he had gotten himself into. 

—— 

Traveling with you, he learned you weren’t all you were made out to be. 

Sure, the quiet, cold exterior was still there. But upon first glance, he noticed the slight care you put into things. The way you packed two mugs of coffee as opposed to just one. Not a word said but the action said enough. The way you meticulously packed each and every item you brought, making sure to extend the same courtesy to his belongings. 

Small things really, but it said enough. 

So you picked a direction, foot pressing down on the gas pedal of the 1977 Ford F-150 you had chosen out of a random parking lot. You were going 90 in Memphis, turning up the music. An old Van Morrison song, he could recognize the voice. It reminded him of his sister. 

“Why so loud?” he ventured to ask. 

Your eyes never left the road. “So thoughts don’t intrude.” 

He blinked, not sure of what to say. You raised the coffee mug to your lips and he was once again reminded of the one you had brought for him. It raised a curious thought in his head. “Not an easy thing to just not think.” he remarked. 

You glanced at him, almost as though you were taking him in. “I’ve managed.” you said plainly. A moment of silence went by. “Although, I will say Hargreeves you’re making it quite difficult to not think of anything with all your yapping.” 

He chuckled, eyes peeled towards the rising sun. “Well what are you thinking about now that I’ve disturbed your peace of mind.” 

Your lips turned up slightly, almost sadly although it was a smile. “Predictably, I wound up thinking of Elvis.” you chuckle softly. It was the first time he had heard you laugh. It was a nice sound, comforting almost. Somehow reminded him of home. 

“Why Elvis?” he asked, a slight smile coming to his face. 

You took one hand off the wheel, shrugging. “Mom always had it on the few times she was around.” you remarked. He noticed the way your lips curved as you spoke. The one small notation of emotion in your face, the one thing that gave you away. “Plus I wonder if he believes songs could come true.” 

Five’s brows furrow. Your hand drums on the middle compartment of the truck. “Well, he spouts all this bullshit about love. Shit, he made a career off of it. But does the man actually believe in it? Love?” 

“I don’t know.” he commented. “I mean I don’t think you have to believe in something to sing about it. There are thousands of others who wrote about it so I’m sure he had plenty of background to work with.” 

You scoffed. “Well, then that would be plenty sad. I’m usually a cynic but I’d like to believe the man who wrote some of the most notable love songs the world’s known to have believed in it himself.” 

“We’re in a world full of copycats and unoriginal imbeciles. The chances that Elvis believed in love songs is slim.” 

At that you gave a laugh, a full bellied laugh. He looked up quizzically. Your face scrunched up as you did. The marble statue seemed to have melted into a beautiful glaze of colors. Five delighted in it. The fact that he had made your statue slightly crack and crumble. You had done the same to him, if he were being honest. 

“And I thought I was the cynic.” you smirked, cheeks lifting ever so slightly. You sigh, looking at the sunrise with a sense of warmth. A nostalgic pull in your eyes. “All I’m saying is I’m asking for it if they do. Those love songs, I mean.” 

Five nodded briefly, his eyes also glancing out at the sun. 

“Have you ever loved someone like that?” 

“No… have you?” 

“No.” 

The silence lay steady as you went ninety in Memphis. 

—— 

The two of you stopped at a 7-Eleven, dead of night. The bright fluorescent lights blinked as you walked through, taking a grab at the edible things that stuck out to you. When the two of you arrived at the register, your hand moved to your pocket. A ten and a five folded up nicely. There you were again, doing the thing he got such a mental kick out of. He had come prepared but it hadn’t even occurred to you to ask him for money. 

You handed the cash to the man at the register, the same stony expression on your face. 

A beautiful thin line. 

There you were, paying for his things. If it were anyone else, he would’ve rejected this action. He would’ve seen it as a one up, a power dynamic, a petty maneuver. But with you, he realized it seemed to be your nature. There was a gentle nurturing you hid beneath your surface. 

Five desperately wanted to know more. 

You sat at a shitty table, wobbly with faded seats. You bit into a burger, silence hanging in the air almost peacefully as it always seemed to do with you. He looked down at his coffee and bagel. “Why’d you take this?” he asked quietly. “I mean… this assignment.” 

You blinked, eyes vacant and blank. It was as though you were conjuring an answer to that yourself. As if, you still didn’t know the answer to it yourself. He was slowly beginning to realize that maybe you didn’t know what you wanted. 

Your composure slacked, putting down your burger. “Better than nothing.” you responded, taking a sip of coffee. “This is my job. Might as well take the interesting ones.” 

The lights seemed to blink with the slow pace of his heart. He took a bite of his bagel. “What are you going to do… after this is all over?” 

You frown, as though the next thing that you were going to say would make you sad. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

He took a quiet sip of his coffee. “Me neither.” 

The silence lay peacefully thick once more. 

You were a rebel without a clue.

——- 

Traveling with you only made Five more enamored with your presence. 

You were gentle. Quite the opposite of him, actually. Sure, both of you were statues, cracked and slightly damaged, depicting a long life of sorrow. But you had a gentle warmth beneath the surface which Five rejoiced in. 

The truck was filled with music as you went along. Sometimes you talked, other times you didn’t. You were there though. Present, in the moment. You pulled him back to Earth when his head seemed to wander off. You were deep, intellectual, interesting. 

All the little things you did only made him admire you more. The way you quietly filled the gas tank. The way you flipped the pages of your book when he drove. The cadence of your voice, the vocabulary you used. The sad peaceful look on your face after a clean shot, the way your finger rested on the trigger. 

A peaceful kind of falling. 

One night, the two of you stopped at a motel. The night was dark, the stars shining brightly over an Alabama sky. Two beds, a small television that played old reruns of fifties sitcoms. “This is oddly nostalgic.” you commented. “Reminds me of home.” 

It was one of the rare times you talked of home. He smiled softly. “Reminds me of home too… Maybe we can make the most of it.” 

That night, you spent what was left of your serotonin. The motel door lay wide open, the laugh track on the television muffled as you sat on the second floor balcony. Both your backs lay stiff against the brick wall. 

Five looked over at you, and you were gorgeous. 

You chewed on your cheek and stared at the moon. “Hargreeves, I’ve got a confession.” 

He blinked, looking over at you. The moonlight seemed to illuminate your graceful features. “What’s that?’ 

“I know I lived through it, all that pain… I lived through it to get to this moment.”

“This mission?” 

You nodded. “With you.” 

Five paused, his breath seemed to hitch in his throat. You glanced over at him. “I’ve got to say… I kinda like you, Hargreeves.” 

He didn’t know words could mean so much. They were simple, short, barely a sentence. But you had said them and he knew from even the brief conversations with you, that you said what you meant. His lips upturned slightly, not enough to give him away. “I kinda like you too.” 

Silence ensued. Five had a handful of grapes in his hand. You ate a sleeve of saltines on the floor. No proof of anything, not much said. But what was said was enough. In that moment, Five knew: he would do anything you wanted to. 

You didn’t demand much. Maybe that was how people realized they would do anything for someone. Because they wouldn’t demand something irrational for them? Maybe that’s what made the few irrational demands doable? He realized he would do anything for you. 

Whatever you want. 

You looked over at him, a slight smile. “I Love Lucy marathon?” 

He couldn’t drag his eyes away from your face. 

“Whatever you want.”

… 

Whatever you want. 

——

No tags except @olive-recs because i literally don’t know if any of my other mutuals are active 🕺

[bean-bean2000]

The Hacker - Part 2

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Status: Ongoing

All feedback is very welcome and appreciated!

Warnings: Mentions of violence, guns/missiles, mentions of death, swearing, angst.

Part 1 here

Series masterlist

———————————————————————————

You gasp loudly as you wake up and shoot up straight from the bed. You start to panic, not recognizing your surroundings until it all comes flooding back.

You’re not an Avenger, you’re not a prisoner, but you’re not free either.

You groan as you get up and take in your surroundings. The room is larger than your entire kitchen. There’s a desk on the other side of the room, facing the large window overlooking downtown New York City. The view was breathtaking, the city buzzing with civilians going about their days. On your right there’s a connecting private bathroom. It’s white with gold accents and marbled counter tops. The floors can be heated along with the towel rack so you can be enveloped in warmth after a long shower. Everything is automated, the shower had bluetooth speakers so you can listen to music while showering, the sink and toilet are voice controlled with way too many settings. On the other end of the bathroom is a vanity with a large makeup counter and a ring light mirror. In the corner there’s a large gold bathtub with jacuzzi settings with a TV mounted in front of it and a large table across the tub for snacks and drinks. The lights can be dimmed for ambience and ultimate relaxation. In short - it was an absolutely luxurious bathroom fit for the richest of the rich.

Shaking away your awe of the entire room, you take a long hot shower to release the tension from the previous night. You’re lost in your thoughts, enjoying the moment you have for yourself to breathe and process the situation. You sigh contentedly, wishing you could stay there forever.

“Y/N please—”

You scream and turn off the shower. Startled and searching for the source of the voice.

- “ Jesus Christ, what the fuck?! Hello??”

- “Apologies Y/N, I’m FRIDAY. Tony Stark and the others await your presence in the kitchen.”

- “Ummm okay….”

You shake your head with a scoff and wrap the warm towel around your body as you walk across the heated floors to your bedroom. You quickly change into some clothes found in the dresser and head to the kitchen.

As you open your door you realize you have no idea how to get to the kitchen from here. The compound is huge. Just as you were about to start aimlessly walking, a light illuminates the floor in a single line with an arrow, indicating the path to follow.

“Thank you FRIDAY!” you say out loud. You’re in disbelief as you realize that FRIDAY read your body language and emotions and made a conscious decision on its own to create a path to follow to your destination.

“This is insane. I was dragged here yesterday. We already made a deal, what could they possibly want from me already?! Okay Y/N, breathe and think this through. Time to make a game-plan: I have to look as strong and intimidating as possible. I will not let them push me around or think that they can just tell me what to do. Keep your head held high and a stoic face. Never let them know what you’re thinking. That’s how you’ll get through this. Keep your emotions to yourself, do not share and make connections. You’re on your own. You have always been on your own. Stay focused. You can do this. You can depend on and trust nobody but yourself.” You think to yourself.

You round the corner and hear loud chatter from the group gathered around the kitchen table. As you enter the room the chatter immediately stops and they all turn to look at you.

You stand tall, head held high just like you had promised yourself you would do, seconds ago.

“We decided to test your abilities with your first mission. Today.” says Steve, staring you in the eyes trying to analyze your reaction and body language as a response to his statement.

You smirk “There is no challenge I can’t beat.”

Maintaining your cool composure, you stare back at the group when your eyes meet with Bucky’s. His usual grumpy stoic face is donning a smirk with a glint in his eyes.

You quickly look away and clear your throat “Let’s debrief the mission.”

———————————————————————————

Tony leads you into your office he had mentioned the previous day. It was an outstanding and immense room; more like an entire floor designated for you and your work. You examined it in awe. The floor was a sleek marble tile with purple, black and white accented walls. There were floor to ceiling windows overlooking New York City with anti-reflective blinds that adjust to the sunlight to avoid spying threats and glares on your screens. There’s a wide and large monitor spanning across the entire desk with an ergonomic chair lined with LED lights providing ultimate comfort with an expansive screen for maximum efficiency. The ceiling was lined with LED lights which colours could be changed through FRIDAY, allowing the possibility of switching from a dark room to a sunlit room.

You do a double take and a a huge neon sign on the wall catches your attention:

Cyberpunk

You stare at Tony “Cyberpunk? really?”

“What? You’re a computer whiz hacker. So I came up with your team nickname. I thought it suited you very well. You’re a cyber nerd and you’re a punk. Very fitting in my opinion.” Tony replies sarcastically.

You ignore his comment and turn around facing your new set up, not wanting him to notice that you secretly love the nickname. You agreed it was very fitting but annoyed you hadn’t come up with yourself before.

“Alright, get yourself set up. The mission starts in 10, be ready and do your job, we’re counting on you.” Tony says and walks away.

You sigh and sit on the desk chair. You set yourself up and easily navigate through the new system in preparation for the mission ahead. You’re responsible for hacking into the Hydra building, disengaging their security cameras and alarms, and for cutting the power at the end for the team to have an advantage over the enemy with night-vision goggles. This was going to be a breeze.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Steve calling you over the coms

“Y/N? Are you ready? We’re 30 seconds out.”

“Loud and clear Cap. Disengaging enemy cameras, alarms and sensors now. Proceed to breach enemy lines in 5 seconds. over and out.” you reply cooly.

“Nobody says over and out Y/N. You watch too many movies.” Bucky chuckles.

“Nobody asked for your opinion Barnes.” you snap.

“Tony is right, you are a Cyberpunk.”

You groan at the comment. Why is this infuriating you so much? You didn’t care when Tony called you that. Why does it bother you when Bucky did?

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Steve yell to you over the coms:

“AMBUSH AMBUSH RUN RUN RUN!”

Your heart starts pounding in your chest as you watch the team sprinting between rooms and dodging bullets. You realize you’re the only one who can help them, but you were specifically told not to do anything except what was discussed in the mission debrief: Disengage the cameras and alarms, and cut the power. Your leg is bouncing on the ball of your foot as you see the team struggling to get out from Hydras trap.

“Fuck it. I can’t sit here and do nothing.” You say to yourself out loud.

You go through the Hydra building’s system and locate the area where the team is being held up. You see a security option pop up on your screen that makes you smile ear to ear. Bingo.

You open your coms “Hey! When i scream hit the floor, you drop to the floor as low as you can and grab whatever cover you can find. Don’t ask questions just do it!”

Before anybody can retort and convince you to stop, you engage the hidden target-lock rifles and automatic guns hidden in the walls and aim them at the Hydra agents.

“HIT THE FLOOR! HIT THE FLOOR!” you scream over the coms.

You watch the entire team on your screens drop to the floor as you press Enter on your keyboard. You watch as every Hydra agent falls to the floor, lifeless. Unable to defend themselves against the sneak attack from their own supposed defence systems.

As you’re about to give the team the all clear, you see another ambush approaching. Switching camera locations, you lock on target and use the Hydra missile to annihilate the remaining Hydra soldiers.

“All clear.” you say stoically over the coms. Smirking to yourself. You know this will either really impress them or really screw you over.

You watch as the entire team gets up and examines their surroundings. Bullet holes everywhere, Hydra soldiers defeated in a single push of a button.

The team assembles on the quinjet and you watch them fly off.

Awaiting their return on the landing pad, you feel your heart thrumming in your chest. You watch the team exit the quinjet. You start to smile and wave when you see Steve stalking towards you, angrily

“What was that? We did not plan that! You have no right to directly disobey orders and do what you want!”

“You were ambushed! I wasn’t going to watch you all possibly die as Hydra was closing in on you!”

“We had it under control!”

“Yeah right. So you knew that there was a second ambush team waiting for you outside?”

Steve stares at you, no response.

“That’s what i thought! I saved your asses by gunning them down with their own security artillery and launched a missile at the second ambush! You’re welcome for saving your life!”

“I trusted you could follow orders! You had one job! How can we trust you now?!”

“TRUST ME?! YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND FORCED ME INTO A GLAMORIZED PRISON CONTRACT! AND I STILL DECIDED TO SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIVES! I COULD HAVE WATCHED YOU ALL DIE AND LAUGHED BECAUSE I WOULD BE OUT OF THE CONTRACT AND FREE. BUT I DIDN’T. AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN?!”

At this point, you lost your cool. You broke your promise to yourself to keep your emotions out of this. Your cheeks are red as your anger boils within you.

Steve is clenching his jaw and glaring at you with an intense anger. Natasha approaches Steve and places a hand on his shoulder.

“Steve… she’s right. She saved us. There was no way we were getting out of there.”

Steve huffs and stomps away. The rest of the team follows and throws you sympathetic looks but say nothing.

Cowards. All of them. Sheep.

Bucky stops in front of you and crosses his arms across his broad chest.

“Nice work Cyberpunk.” he winks and walks away.

You stand there alone and confused. You manage to force yourself back inside and you storm to your office. It is now your safe haven, your space; like the one you used to have in your tiny basement. You slam the door shut and lock it.

You don’t want to see any of them. Especially Steve. It’s your first day and you’re already extremely frustrated.

I am not a puppet. I will not just take orders and follow them blindly and stupidly. I reacted to the situation and adapted. I save their lives and I get yelled at for it. Who do they think I am? I will not be controlled. I am my own person and I will make sure they know that.

You decide you will retaliate in the best way you can. You hack into FRIDAY and pull up the controls to Steve’s room. You scheduled an alarm to go off every 15 minutes with red lights blaring in his room. You add clown music for that extra special effect you love so much.

That’ll show him that I will not be pushed around and treated like a puppet. I may not be a super soldier but I am a Cyberpunk.

You smirk to yourself as you walk out of your office and retire to your bedroom, excited for what the morning will bring.

Part 3

[tothestarsinvelaris]

Rain by Sleep Token is so Elriel coded.

I just can't get over how much it sounds like Azriel talking to Elain

(obvs the song isn't actually about them, but I had to break down the lyrics with an Elriel specific interpretation bc its just so fitting)

For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody

This whole section is him commenting on how he was pining after Mor for 500 years and lost himself in the process, always beating himself up for feeling inadequate to the point of fading into the background.

And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me

I don't wanna get in your way - the mating bond is there with Lucien, and while he knows she's not really into him, he wants to give her a fair chance. Plus, Azriel is well aware of Elain dealing with the trauma of being Made against her will and her recently broken engagement with Grayson. I finally think I can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me - He and Elain have admired each other from the first time they met at the Archeron estate while she was still human. She asked about his wings and flying and they immediately understood each other in the roles they played for their families. She broke the cycle he was stuck in with Mor.

And just like the rain You cast the dust into nothing And wash out the salt from my hands So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving Will you cleanse me with pleasure?

You cast the dust into nothing - Elain makes him feel alive, she makes him forget about the years of pining and feeling like a statue. She made him laugh like nobody in the IC had ever heard him laugh before. And wash out the salt from my hands - she said his hands were beautiful, she doesn't balk from his scars or the blood on his hands. She is also associated with gardening, baking, and cooking food, which are all things that bring life and happiness, she has easily and effortlessly included him in these things already, and he has shown that he wants to participate in them with her, giving him a way to use his hands for good. So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving - his shadows canonically disappear when he's feeling safe, happy, comfortable, at peace, etc. They seem to always disappear when Elain is around, which is just more evidence that she makes him feel cared for. Will you cleanse me with pleasure? - it's giving the bonus chapter almost kiss where he is ready to beg on his knees for a taste of her

It's that chemical cut that I can get down with Up like the moon and out like the hounds A dangerous disposition somehow Refracted in light, reflected in sound I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent Tangled in your trance and I'm certain You have got your hooks in me

Up like the moon and out like the hounds - he literally can't sleep over her. A dangerous disposition refracted in light, reflected in sound - the mating bond, the heated convo in the BC with Rhys, the threat of the blood duel, etc. But its all encompassing. His feelings take over his entire being and make up everything he sees and hears around him. I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent tangled in your trance and I'm certain you have got your hooks in me - he's so caught up and tightly wound bc he can't have her and can't even express his feelings properly, but he knows she feels the same way.

I know, I know, the way that it goes You get what you give, you reap what you sow And I can see you in my fate And I know, I know, I am what I am The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb So darling, will you saturate?

I know the way that it goes you get what you give, you reap what you sow - he doesn't feel like he is deserving of someone as pure and precious as Elain. He doesn't seem to really think he's deserving of anything or anyone at all tbh. His thoughts in the BC are so self-deprecating, which clearly stems from a life of not being understood and his childhood traumas I can see you in my fate - he feels so strongly for Elain, he's literally questioning their religion. He's asking things like 'what if the cauldron was wrong?' His feelings for Elain are what he's observed both Rhys and Cassian feel for Feyre and Nesta in their mating bonds, its like he can see Elain in his fate. (also, love that she's a seer and the little nod to that with this line) I know, I am what I am, the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb - Azriel feels impure because of the things he's done in his life and the blood he's shed. He would refer to himself as the mouth of the wolf - deadly, sharp, vicious) and would refer to Elain as the eyes of the lamb (innocent, pure, precious).

Nobody can say for certain If maybe its all just a game When I open my eyes to the future I can hear you say my name So rain down on me

When I open my eyes to the future I can hear you say my name - I honestly just love the nod to her seer abilities again with this line. I would love to have their book involve Elain having visions about a future with Azriel in some way. I just love thinking about this from Azriel's pov and him being like "look, I'm not a seer, but I see you in my future"

ugh this song, this band, this ship!!! 🥰💙

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

Second part of this one

Lieutenant Simon 'Ghost' Riley and Sergeant Christine 'Riot' Vega, Task Force 141

Let's say... September/October 2023

For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me

And just like the rain You cast the dust into nothing And wash out the salt from my hands So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving

[alwaysjustmina]

Whispers of Rain

Chapter 12: Just a Stoic Statue, Fit for Nobody

Thank you to @papaslittlesunshine for editing this and @midnight-moth for listening to my daily depraved thoughts. Also, thank you to @kamonart for the beautiful artwork for this story.

Fyi this chapter may hurt, but no major warnings.

Below the cut or AO3

Rain awoke in the very early morning hours, the darkness of outside just starting to be pushed away. He reached to curl around Dew, to pull him close and realized with a stabbing jolt to his being that Dew wasn’t next to him, the panic quick to overtake his thoughts. He rushed from the bed to Aether’s room, waking him and yelling that they needed to find him. They searched the house, before finding themselves outside Eidolon’s room, the door slightly cracked. They slowly opened the door to find both Dew and Eidolon fast asleep grasping each other in a tight embrace. Rain gasped quietly before he pulled back hurriedly from the room. Aether followed him silently, pulling the bedroom door shut firmly. He had seen Rain’s eyes when he turned from the room. The sorrow, the questions. His heart broke for what was in front of all of their faces.

“Rain, wait.” Aether quietly spoke. Rain stopped but didn’t turn. His shoulders hunched over, his arms around his middle, holding himself.

Aether quickly enveloped him from behind in a hug,holding him. “You need to give him time, we don’t know the extent of what they’ve been through, they have only had each other.” Rain nodded, but couldn’t contain the quiet cry bursting from his body.

“I just want to hold him, I want to take away the pain, I want to be the one he goes to.”

Nothing Aether could say would take away the pain, he knew that Dew just needed time though. Rain knew this too, but it still couldn’t stop his heart from breaking.

Dew had awoken in the middle of the night, curled into Rain’s arms. The dream he had just had broke him out of sound sleep, a sleep like he hadn’t had in many, many months. He was still in shock that he was here with Rain again, that it was his arms encircling his body. He watched Rain as he slept, breathing in and out slowly, his pouty lips wet with spit. In his sleep, his hair had fallen across face, Dew reached up to push it out of his face, gently moving it from in front of his eyes. His hand lingered in his hair as he tucked it behind Rain’s ear, marveling at the silkiness.

As he touched his hair lightly, Rain scrunched his nose before emitting a soft sigh and a smile graced his lips. He was beautiful, this perfect creature who somehow ended up in love with Dew. Dew had missed him so badly, when Ifrit had said he was dead, he had stupidly believed him. His world had shattered into multiple pieces, pieces he never thought he would be able to pick back up and put in anything resembling a shape. The only way he was functioning now was because of Eidolon. He had seen him through the dark, held his hand to the other side so that he could once again see Rain, be present and thankful for his love.

I don’t deserve him.

I don’t deserve either of them.

I am disgusting.

How can they say they love me?

Debilitating thoughts plagued his mind as he watched Rain sleep. The fear overtaking his insides so quickly it left him breathless. His mind seizing in pain, he pulled out of Rain’s grasp. He wasn’t worthy of his comfort.

Dew quietly padded from the bed towards the door, he needed to get out of this room before he woke him, before he lost his shit. He turned back towards Rain before he shut the door, the moonglow from outside played across his face, his hand reaching across the bed, searching for the man he used to know. That Dew didn’t exist here any longer.

Dew had planned to go downstairs to sit on the couch and await the dawn alone, but his plans changed when he heard a whimper from the bedroom next to them. He quickly made his way into Eidolon’’s room, opening the door to make sure he was ok. Their eyes met across the room, Neither able to sleep it seemed.

“You ok?” Dew asked quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Eidolon to respond.

“I don’t know. You ok?”

“I don’t know.” Dew answered back the same words, the same meaning.

Eidolon pushed back the covers and reached for Dew, offering his hand to hold. Dew quickly took his hand in his, grasping it tightly. As Eidolon watched he saw the tremor take over Dew’s body, the tears streaming down his face. He quickly sat up and pulled Dew to him, his arms encircling his waist, bringing him closer.

“I don’t know if I can do this?” He said between broken sobs.

“Do what?” Eidolon asked, “You can do anything, you are the strongest person I have ever met.”

“I was ready for death, I was ready for it to be over, I knew what I was going to do last night, my only goal was to get you out of there before I ended it all.”

“Dew.”

“It was my only priority.” He held his head in his hand, the other gripping onto Eidolon as if he was his only anchor to this world. His breathing broken, the hitching in his voice carrying his sorrow and fear.

Eidolon pulled him closer,bringing him to sit on his lap, his chin hooked over his shoulder, brushing his hair from his face. Eidolon let him get it all out in the quiet morning hours, just whispering words of encouragement as he caressed his back and ran his hand through his hair. It took awhile but Dew slowly relaxed in his arms.

“I don’t deserve him,” he whispered quietly when the sobbing had stopped.

Eidolon’s heart broke for him, broke for himself, broke for Rain. He didn’t know what to say, he just held him tighter.

“I don’t deserve you, either.” Dew said it so quietly, Eidolon wasn’t sure he heard him right.

“Dew you deserve everything, you protected us, both of us. This wasn’t your fault what Ifrit did.”

Dew shook his head and looked at Eidolon, “Yes, it is. I loved him, why didn’t I see that he was this messed up? I am just as messed up as him for loving him, this is my fault.”

Eidolon knew he wasn’t going to get through to him, he was lost in his fear and memories of the last months. As they held each other, their pain mirroring the others, they slowly lost the battle against exhaustion and reclined further back on the bed until they were laying side by side, arms and legs entwined. Holding onto the other as if their lives depended on it.

Dew and Eidolon made their way downstairs the next morning, not saying anything. Dew knew Rain was probably up, and he knew if he had seen them together that he would have had a lot of questions. Questions Dew wasn’t sure if he was ready to answer.

Aether and Rain were sitting in the dining room, next to the kitchen, in silence, the looks on their faces looked like they had been having an in depth conversation. Did they stop because of Dew and Eidolon?

“Dew, Eidolon, coffee?” Aether asked as he saw them, he quickly rose from his seat across from Rain and moved towards the pot to pour for the two of them when they both nodded. Dew moved into Aether’s vacated seat, Eidolon sitting beside him. He looked up to see Rain already looking at him, his eyes haunted and blood shot. Yeah, Rain knew he had fallen asleep in Eidolon’s room. He quickly looked away to see Aether approach the table with two steaming cups and placed them in front of them before grabbing his and Rain’s to refill as well.

The silence around the table was uncomfortable, not how Rain nor Dew thought their reunion would be. All Rain wanted was Dew next to him, with his hand in his, they could face everything else as it came, together. It felt though that they were worlds apart though. Rain knew that Dew had been through alot and he had to give him time, his heart just grieved that he wasn’t the person Dew turned to. He silently wiped the tears forming in his eyes hopefully before anyone saw them.

Clearing his throat as he sat, Aether asked, “You both are probably hungry, what would you like, there is stuff here, but I can run out if I need to.”

Eidolon spoke up, he knew Dew was spiraling and he had seen the tears in Rain’s eyes, “Yes, it has been a day since either of us have eaten and I know Dew has lost weight here, so anything would be good.”

“Ok then, I can do that. Care to help me?” He asked Eidolon.

Eidolon looked at Dew before agreeing to assist, Dew nodded his head at him, indicating that he would be ok. He hated the idea of leaving Dew alone after last night, not alone but without him being there if he needed him again. He knew he had Rain, but he still wanted to be his friend.

In the kitchen, Aether was already pulling out all the ingredients to make breakfast. He couldn’t get over the fact that he was his brother. There was a small glimmer of hope in his chest that he would get to know him, or that whatever was wrong with his memory would fix itself so he could remember him, remember his family.

Aether could see Eidolon struggling with all of the stress of the situation, but he had to get him out of that room so that Dew and Rain could talk. He wished he could hold his baby brother and tell him he would take away all of the pain, all of the past memories with Ifrit, but he was terrified that gesture would be rejected. Instead, he handed Eidolon ingredients to start working with. They worked in relative silence for a while before Eidolon broke the silence.

“Do you think Dew is ok?” He asked tentatively.

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?” Aether mumbled quietly before adding, “He will be fine, I have never seen a stronger connection than what those two have, they just need a moment to talk.”

Eidolon twisted his hands, his nerves showing through his motions, “I just don’t want him to feel alone or like he has to save all of us.”

Aether turned to look at Eidolon, studying the set of his jaw, the slight wobble of his chin, his eyes glassy. He reached out to put a hand on Eidolon’s arm before saying, “You’ve got me, Eidolon. I promise I will do whatever I can to keep you safe, Dew can take a break from that position. It will give him and Rain time to reunite and you and I to get to know each other again.”

Still Eidolon looked through the door to the dining room, trying to make sure Dew was ok. He kept telling himself, don’t be selfish, Rain is his mate, he doesn’t want you, it doesn’t matter that you are in love with him.

Aether watched him as he kept looking back and forth, he knew as he watched, that Eidolon was in love with Dew. Oh, baby, Phantom,, he thought, I wish I could take that heartbreak from you.

“Would you like to get to know me?” Aether spoke up, pulling Eidolon’s attention back to him.

Eidolon didn’t respond at first as studied he Aether, trying to see if he was being sincere. He decided to take that first step though and silently nodded his head. They had all the time in the world and he looked forward to getting to know him and maybe to distract himself from his heart breaking.

*******************************************

When Rain and Dew were alone in the room the silence stretched even further. Neither knowing how or where to start. Finally Rain broke the silence.

“How did you sleep?” There was no bitterness in his words, only concern.

“I had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep so I got up and walked around for a while.” Not mentioning his trip into Eidolon’s room.

Rain’s eyes looked everywhere but at Dew as he responded, “You know you could have woken me, I want to be there for you when you're hurting.”

Dew couldn’t respond, he knew this, he knew he could wake Rain and he would do whatever was needed to make Dew happy, safe, loved. Dew was broken though, Rain didn’t need to know the extent of how much.

Rain made the first move, putting his hand on the table, open to see if Dew would hold it. Dew looked at it and a sob bubbled to the surface before he grabbed the lifeline Rain offered. They both cried as they held hands before Rain, whispered, “Come here.”

On shaky legs Dew moved to sit next to Rain, crashing into his side as he put his arm around Dew and held their bodies flush together. Dew continued to cry as Rain held him. Whispering in his ear, “I love you, Dewdrop, you don’t need to hide from me, I am here. Whatever you need, I am here, always.”

No more words were said, this wasn’t the time, they needed to have a conversation, but needed the time that having two other people in a room next to them didn’t afford. They clung to each other before they were interrupted by the others bringing in heaping platefuls of food to the table.

Plates were set in front of Rain and Dew filled to the brim with different choices of savory and sweet. The other two sat across from them as they dug into their food. Rain picked up his fork to eat while still keeping an arm around Dewdrop. When Dew made no move to eat and just pushed his plate away, Rain nudged his side and whispered that he had to eat something even if it was just a few bites. When he still didn’t eat, Rain didn’t push it further, he leaned down and kissed Dew’s forehead before continuing with his food.

Eidolon noticed the exchange and when Rain didn’t push he became irritated, Dew needed to eat, he knew it had been days since his last meal, his energy quickly depleting because of it. He wouldn’t let Dew give up.

“Dew, you have to eat.”

“I am not hungry, Eidolon.” He mumbled back.

“Dew it has been days since you have eaten anything.”

When he didn’t answer or move to his plate, Eidolon continued. “Dew, please, I won’t let you give up.”

Rain looked up at Eidolon, he wondered if anyone else heard the unspoken, “even if Rain will.” He knew that was where Eidolon was going with it, who did he think he was that he knew Dew better than him? Where did he get off?

“Dew-”

“Give it a rest, he said he wasn’t hungry.” Rain had it, couldn’t he just take care of Dew himself, just let him have some time.

“No, I won’t give it a rest, he needs to eat. Why aren’t you pushing it more? I thought you cared about him.”

WHAT? Rain quickly pushed his chair from the table, seething in anger, how dare he question how he felt about Dew, he didn’t know what they went through. He didn’t care if Eidolon had been there for Dew these past months, he was done with everyone else in their relationship. As the chair fell backwards on the floor, Rain was already on the other side of the table pulling Eidolon to his feet.

“How dare you! You may have been with him these past months, but I know Dewdrop. I know when to push, I know when to leave it until later, we are mated in all but the ceremony. He is exhausted, he hasn’t slept, he doesn’t eat well after a restless night.” He had grabbed onto the front of Eidolon’s shirt as he yelled in his face.

Eidolon didn’t back down though, “How dare I? Really? I know Dewdrop too, he is exhausted because he hasn’t eaten, do you even know what he has been through these past months. Do you? You may be practically mated, but you are an idiot if you think you should let this go.”

“Fuck you!”

They were at each other's throats before Dew could even get around the table between them, screaming at them to stop. They both looked down at Dew as he begged them to quit and pulled away from each other, mumbling a sorry to Dew. Not to each other.

“I will eat, Eidolon, just give me a minute.” Eidolon looked at Rain when Dew couldn’t see his face with a triumphant smirk. Dew continued, “Rain, Rain, it is ok, you are right, I don’t normally eat when I feel like this. For you, I will try though.”

Rain may have wanted to stick his tongue out at Eidolon, but he refrained.

“So, um, yeah, we need to decide when we should go back in town to go through the portal back to the abbey.” Aether interjected to bring noise to the quiet room, Dew picked at his food as both Eidolon and Rain watched him and each other. Aether knew that the two of them were going to have it out, he just didn’t necessarily think it was best to have that argument in front of Dew or before they went back topside.

“Ifrit isn’t going to stop, he is going to know I went to the surface.” Dew grimaced between bites.

“Yeah we are going to have to take care of him before we go too.” Aether replied.

“Take care of?” Eidolon asked, turning from Rain’s glare.

“Yes, Rain has to stop him, he is the only one that can due to the agreement we made coming here.”

“What? Absolutely not.” Dew now was the one shouting at the group.

“It is ok, Dew. I will be ok.” Rain tried to sooth.

“Rain, he is only going to be more vicious, we embarrassed him yesterday. He will be on a rampage and ready for the attack.” The tears had filled his eyes again as he begged. Why didn’t they all let him take care of Ifrit yesterday? Why?

“It is the only way, and Aether can go with me. We have a plan.”

They didn’t leave the house that day, eating, sleeping, trying to regain some strength. Rain longed for Dew to talk to him, but he wouldn’t push. The day turned into days. Every night, Rain would go to bed with Dew and in the morning he would still be entwined in Eidolon’s arm. It was slowly destroying him that Dew wouldn’t turn to him.

Rain came across Eidolon one of those mornings as he came out of the bedroom he knew Dew was for sure in, he couldn’t even look at Eidolon as he closed the door behind him.

Eidolon could hear his sigh as he went to pass him in the hall.

“What Rain?”

“Nothing, Eidolon.”

“No, Rain, I know your pissed he comes to me every night, but I won’t turn him away. You need to stop thinking of the Dew you used to know. Again you have no idea what he has been through, do you?” Eidolon was done, last night he pulled Dew to him as he sobbed, feeling unworthy of Rain’s love. “Do you know what Ifrit did to him? Do you have any idea? Cause I saw it all with my own eyes, and I am telling you I wouldn’t have survived it, I don’t know how he did. If it helps for me to hold him or offer him support, I will do, be whatever he needs.”

Rain met Eidolon’s eyes, he had a pretty good idea of what Dew had been through. He was told about the party and what happened with Dew up against the wall that his friends had seen. He just wanted to be the one he turned to, was that so wrong?

Eidolon crowded Rain to the wall with a growl when he didn’t respond. “Get your head out of your feelings, and be there for him.”

Rain watched as Eidolon walked off before he stepped back into his room, sliding to the floor, not knowing how to help Dew.

The next time it happened he awoke to Dew moving from the bed, darkness outside the window. “Please don’t go to him,” Rain begged in silent whispers to Dewdrop.

When Dew heard his plea, he turned to Rain. “Rain, I can’t…I can’t, you don’t know what Ifrit did.”

“Tell me Dew, let me be the one you turn to, I love you, I know you went through torture, but I want to be the one you need in the darkness of the night. Let me be the one,” he begged.

His eyes remained fixed on the sheets between them, the rumpled linen, Rain’s hand reaching towards him but afraid to touch, afraid to show him how much he needed him. The unanswered question of why did he go to Eidolon, when Rain was here, Rain was the one he vowed to love forever. Did they let Ifrit destroy what they had?

Dew pushed from his seated position in the bed, to stand. The noise that Rain emitted was filled with so much sorrow that again, Dew turned from him and was going to someone else. Dew didn’t leave though, he turned back around and grabbed Rain’s hand asking him, why? Why did it matter who got to hear what he went though, he didn’t want Rain to know.

Rain stared into his eyes, how could he ask that? Rain didn’t want to hear the horrible things Ifrit did, but he wanted to be there for Dew, anything for him, and if that meant hearing all the horrible things he would listen, he would comfort him.

“It will kill me, Dew, if you go to him.” He cried into the sheets, “ I am sorry, I shouldn’t put that on you.”

Dew crawled back into the bed to hold Rain this time, arms wrapped around him. He’d stay, he couldn’t do this to Rain. He didn’t want to but he was going to have to share with Rain what Ifrit did, that he wasn’t sure if Ifrit put a child in him.

He only hoped Rain could forgive him for what he allowed to happen.

[mareeyeahh]

Maybe it wasn't meant to be, unless...? Part 2

Diluc x reader, reader is implied as female

Part 1 here

I'm not a writer periodt. (Okay then so why write?) I just wrote this for funsies. If you found it weird or inconsistent let me know~

The last few rays of the sun painted the leaves and trees golden as it completely set, marking the end of another fruitful day at Dawn Winery. The farmers that have spent the day harvesting bounties from the vineyard have already headed home weary yet feeling fulfilled. The maids that may or may not have wasted their time gossiping hurried inside the manor to assist the chefs in preparing dinner.

This day was another one of those days when Kaeya pays a visit and dines with his brother, Diluc. After Weinlesefest, the two brothers have made an unspoken promise to accommodate each other when time allows it and it was always in the presence of food and drinks (non-alcohol). The two of them may just be tolerating each other's company, but nobody could ever be at peace more than Elzer and Adelinde, the two people who have closely watched the Ragvindr brothers grow up.

Kaeya arrives just before dark and the maids greet him, as Elzer led him to the dining hall where Diluc has sat down in his usual spot. The clattering of the plates and silverware echoed through the room as they dined.

"Grandmaster Varka's recent letter has been quite the talk of the city." Kaeya said in between bites. "Two knights have withdrawn from the expedition and he couldn't be more disappointed."

Diluc gave him a questioning look before swallowing his food. "I think it's unrefined for the Cavalry Captain to be gossiping about your coworker's circumstances."

"I do not engage in gossip." Kaeya scoffs. "I'm merely gathering intel."

Diluc mentally rolled his eyes at Kaeya's nonsense but just decided to humor him. "And what, pray tell, is this intel that you speak of?"

As one of the Knights of Favonius, Kaeya had to experience the secondhand embarrassment that he felt towards the two knights who resigned from their positions in the ongoing expedition. Grandmaster Varka was enraged that the Knights compromised their responsibilities in order to engage in frivolous acts. Diluc, known for his disdain and criticism towards the Knights, was not really fazed by all this.

"Grandmaster Varka is rightfully disappointed." Diluc says, cleaning up the last bits of food off his plate. "But what of the two Knights? Have they returned?"

"They reside now in Natlan as their actions bore fruit. If they didn't come clean and somehow got caught in a perilous predicament whilst on expedition, there would be greater losses." Kaeya said as he shook his head at the idea of bloodshed.

"Are you personally acquainted with them?"

"The woman used to be under the Reconnaisance company before Grandmaster Varka appointed her as one of the knights to join the expedition while the man..." Kaeya trailed off.

The drunken hand reaching for the tavern door, the fall that was anything but graceful, and the red haired man that heroically saved the poor woman, all of these played in Kaeya's mind before disclosing the information that he has.

"Apparently, the male Knight was Y/N's old lover." Kaeya wiped his mouth with a napkin. "He promised her he'd marry her if he ever came back safely from the expedition. Poor girl. No wonder she looked so gloomy that night."

Kaeya eyed Diluc for any sort of reaction, but the redhead was as stoic as a statue. Despite not knowing what the man was thinking, Kaeya understood that something must've happened the night they met. His mind was clearly racing, his eyes seemed lost but his face was stern.

"Have you seen her these days?" Kaeya asked, which brought Diluc back from his wandering thoughts.

"No." Diluc replied calmly. Now that he knows vital information about you, it made more sense why he was worried. He tried knocking on your door a few days after that night, wanting to check up on you. But your home was always empty.

He didn't want to pester you with these misplaced feelings of worry. After you graciously turned down his invitation for a meal together, he kept his distance in respect of your feelings. The last thing a woman like you needs is a man bothering her when she already said no.

But he couldn't forget that splendid figure of you that night, singing like there was no tomorrow. Your voice echoed in his mind, despite only hearing you sing once. The rich yet sweet melody that escaped your lips captivated him in a way he never thought was possible.

He shook his head in disbelief, what a fool he has become. He did not fully comprehend it but he constantly dreamt of you. There in his mind played a montage of memories that has certainly never happened in his life before. He hears you singing while out with him harvesting in the grape vineyard. Your sweet yet wordless hums fill the kitchen as you hand cooked a meal for him. The relaxing lullabies that you would sing him to sleep after a night of warm embrace. The sweet nothings you whispered into his ear as the sunshine greeted you in the morning. The laughter and melodies that was swept by the breeze as you held his child in your arms. He thought he had gone mad. Why did you tug at his heartstrings so strongly?

"You never checked up on her?" Kaeya's voice broke Diluc's train of delusional thoughts.

"I tried to but it seems that she's been away since."

Kaeya's eyes narrowed at the redhead. Diluc wasn't dodging the questions but Kaeya couldn't shake the feeling that something really must've happened between him and the woman. He scavenged for the right words to say but then thought it would be better to ask him straight.

"Did you do something to make her run off like that?" Kaeya really didn't mince his words, implied that Diluc scared the woman.

Diluc glared at the man. "No." But then he thought about it carefully. Inviting her that time may have seemed a little disrespectful now that he knows she was going through a rough breakup. It also may have come out as a man taking advantage of her intoxication to do whatever he wants.

Diluc felt bad about that. Maybe Kaeya was right. Maybe he really did scare her off.

"I did invite her out to a meal together." Diluc sighed, facepalming himself in his head. "But it must've been insensitive of me to ask her."

"You what?" Kaeya said, the words of his brother not registering in his brain. He must've heard it wrong that Diluc, the embodiment of a lone wolf and a successful yet intimidating business owner, asked a woman out to a meal.

"I invited her to have a meal together." Diluc deadpanned.

Kaeya clapped his hands over his mouth, and Adelinde who had overheard their conversation, did the same. Diluc pinched the space between his eyebrows at their dramatic reactions. He didn't want to tell anybody that he was interested in a woman because he was turned down after all and the target of his affections was nowhere to be seen. It was pointless in the end.

The dinner ended that night where Kaeya was teasing Diluc of finally experiencing puberty and Adelinde exclaiming that spring has finally come for their young Master.

***

The passage marking the end of Liyue and the start of a journey back to Mondstadt was surprisingly peaceful. You gave yourself a pat on the back for deciding to leave for Mondstadt at dawn. Monsters did not dare lurk around in broad daylight but some hilichurls were being quite a nuisance to some travelers.

It has a been almost a month since you joined the Adventurer's Guild. To be honest, you were skeptical about it at first because of how dangerous the commissions could be. You've gotten all kinds of commissions since you started, from collecting fresh slime condensate, killing and bringing back the meat of a wild boar in Dragonspine (and accidentally running into an angry Great Snowboar King), to climbing the heights of Qingyun Peak to get the freshest Qingxin flower adorned with morning dewdrops.

You didn't know how to wield any type of weapon or much less stepped out of Mondstadt so it was though you were living with your life at stake. But the dangers of today outweighed the dull life you had when you stayed at home and patiently waited for your lover who never came back.

You shake your head, memories of your past lover suddenly flooding your mind. Ever since you've started to travel, explore, meet new people and run into dangerous creatures in the wild, you finally understood why you were so depressed. You made him, the man who casually broke your heart, your world instead making him a small part of it. Looking at the vast seas and wondrous landscapes felt like your problems were only a speck of existence. The world you used to have only sheltered him and your fantasies that you two would be happily married. But now, all of that was simply a memory.

The concrete land masses that reached far as the eyes could see turned into lush green forests that brought about a familiar soothing breeze that was only known to Mondstadt greeted you as you finally reached the end of Stone Gate. A week away from home didn't seem very long but to anyone who misses it, it felt like a year. You remember having met someone who was a native of Mondstadt but now lives in Liyue during your commissions. They said it would be nice to go back but they couldn't leave the lights, the crowds, the prosperous city life in Liyue.

But as a born and bred Mondstater you were more suited to the ambience that your hometown gives. Peaceful, quiet, and relaxing. The familiar surroundings of Mondstadt was enough to calm your senses.

The horizon morphed into a fiery color a little after you reached the perimeters of Dawn Winery, signaling the end of the day.

Despite being in a relatively safe area, monsters still lurked dangerously near the territory, especially at night. You heard that riftwolves that were commonly found in the islands of Inazuma started appearing in Wolvendom and you were glad not to have taken that route. Instead, you walked the road by the lake that was connected to Dragonspine. It definitely made the trip back to Mondstadt longer, but a detour wouldn't hurt would it?

Your eyes reach the top of Skyfrost Nail, reminiscing the cold and merciless trips you had to do for commissions. At another angle you see the Dawn Winery's manor, that was visually warmer compared to the view of Dragonspine. The sunset made the scenery even more warmer, the skies reminding you of a certain red haired man.

Being drunk didn't stop you from remembering what had happened that night. After all, a man as brilliant as the business owner asking you out to dinner was something that happens once every few lifetimes. It didn't sit quite well with you if you accepted his invitation while you were still depressed about your ex.

If it was any other time, you would have accepted in a heartbeat. A man such as Diluc did not deserve lukewarm appreciation, to be treated second best, a mere rebound to a failed first love. If your heart wasn't in such a messy place, you would've been having meals with him.

Daydreaming about Diluc has led you to the corner of the lake where the road splits in two, one that circles around Dawn Winery and one that leads you further to Dragonspine. You snapped back to reality and spun on your feet, leaving a trail of footprints on the sand.

What you did not notice was a group of Cryo Slimes following you. Only until they shoot icicles at your feet did you notice their presence and thankfully you didn't get hit. Even though you clutched your sword and swung it against the slimes, it did not faze them. So you only did the next best thing you were good at; running for your life.

The sky grew darker as you ran and the slimes were deadset on chasing you. The largest one managed to hit your leg with its icicles and it slowed you down, the ice began to form on your hind leg. You couldn't afford to stop so you limped, your leg starting to feel heavy due to the freezing. The feeling was brutal, while your muscles still struggled to move the ice crept in and froze them in place, completely immobilizing you. The numbing pain worsened rapidly, it felt as if your muscles would rip through your skin.

The slimes quickly caught up to you as the ice reached your upper body, surrounding you. You swung your sword to scare them away but you were outnumbered. The slimes emitted cold air as they circled around you, aiding the frost that crept into your upper limbs making you drop your weapon. In an unforgiving circumstance, you were left to accept that this was your death bed.

But suddenly a large bird with its wings adorned with flames swooped in and defeated the cryo slimes one by one. Holding onto your consciousness, you see from the corner of your eye a man who expertly swung his claymore, almost gracefully like the bird you saw earlier.

The cryo slimes melted like ice on his greatsword. The leader of the pack was harder to tackle with its shield as it shot icicles at the man. It was emitting cold air, physically slowing the man's movements. Diluc sprang on his feet and jumped mid air, attacking the slime from above by suprise and successfully breaking the shield. This provided Diluc an opening and summoned his Phoenix which finally killed the slime.

"Diluc!" Another man's voice shouted from behind you. He knelt down and frantically examined your frozen state. Your consciousness was slipping as the frost reached your brain, inducing a painful brain freeze.

"No, do not use your vision." The man with an eyepatch warned the other. "You'll injure her body more."

"What am I supposed to do, let her freeze to death?"

"It would be better to gradually warm her up. We should bring her..." The voices were slowly fading away as you succumb to the pain that you felt.

***

"Prepare the fireplace at once." Diluc ordered a group of maids as he carried you in his arms with coat wrapped tightly around you.

"A warm bath would be better, brother." Kaeya suggested, instructing Adelinde as he went. "Let the ice thaw slowly to avoid startling her body with immediate changes in temperature."

Diluc inhaled deeply, calming himself as he glanced at the woman in his arms. He was in no position to argue and panicking would not help either. But your unresponsive state left him anxious. You felt like a block of ice in his arms and he feared that the frost was no longer the cause of it.

Kaeya has experienced similar situations like these considering the element that he wields and is grateful they weren't life threatening. Diluc thought it was best he let Kaeya handle it. His current composure might not stop him from doing something that could harm you further.

The maids forbade the men to come into the bath to check up on you. But with clear instructions from Kaeya, the frost from your body thawed safely. Your body was back to its original temperature and your muscles weren't rigid like steel.

But you were yet to regain consciousness. Diluc had ordered the maids to arrange a makeshift bed a safe distance from the fireplace to keep your body warm until it was able to regulate its temperature again. He never left your side, even holding your hand and using his Pyro vision to keep you warm.

He looked at your face. Your complexion was no longer pale indicating that your blood was circulating normally. Your lips that had turned deep violet due to the frost had regained its reddish color. While you were still in a deep sleep state with no signs of waking up, the man's worries subsided a little. All that matters is that you're safe now.

Still, Diluc contemplated that if he arrived a second earlier then you wouldn't be silently battling for your life like this. He inhaled sharply. If he had been a second too late to save you...

Diluc shook those thoughts out of his head. It would be for the better not to dwell on something that hadn't happened. He held your hand tighter, controlling the amount of Pyro Vision that your body absorbed. You were going to be okay. He knows it.

"Master Diluc," Elzer called him from behind, careful not to startle him. "You must rest."

"I'm fine, Elzer." Diluc replied not looking back at him.

"I can see it in my eyes, my boy. You are tired."

"You're right. But compared to what she's going through," Diluc glanced at your peaceful face. "This is nothing. I'll be fine, Elzer."

Elzer sighed in defeat. But if that's what the young master wants then he can only comply. "Please don't exert yourself too much." He said before leaving the two of you alone.

The night grew cold as the fire started to burn dimmer and dimmer. Wanting to tend the fire, Diluc released your hand, gently placing it on top of your chest before standing up. Just as he was about to walk towards the fireplace, he heard a loud gasp from you.

You shot up from the makeshift bed, your body continuing the line of action it was doing before it had gone frozen. But the sudden movement made you wince and clutched your head. The brain freeze hadn't completely gone away yet.

"W-where am I? The slimes..." You slowly looked around your surroundings, trying not to overwhelm your brain.

"Calm down." A deep voice said. You turn your head to see a man whose hair shone like flames. "You are in my manor."

"M-Master Diluc?" You sat upright, trying to look presentable in your disheveled state.

"Do not exert yourself." He crouched down and implored you to sit comfortably. "It isn't wise to immediately rise after a deep slumber."

"Archons," You took in a deep breath, racking your brain as you try to remember what had happened. The slimes surrounding you, the fear of being incapable, the pain, you couldn't help but sob. "I thought I was going to..." You clapped your hands onto your face as you trailed off.

The man beside placed his hand on your back and rubbed it in an attempt to calm you. "I'm glad we made it in time."

From your sobbing, you looked up at him. "Thank you, Master Diluc." You sniffled.

Diluc only gave you a small smile, letting you cry it out until you had enough. The warmth of his hand that stroked your back was warmer than what was perceived normal body temperature. But you figured it might've been because of his Pyro vision. It felt soothing, the warmth hitting all the right places as if it was thawing the ice in your body that was left over from the bath. Thanks to that, it didn't take long for you to calm down.

"But what were doing at the edge of the winery?" Diluc asked as he was afraid you got lost.

"I was on my home from Liyue."

Diluc did not press further as to why you were in Liyue but he understood why your home was always empty everytime he knocked on your door. He also knew you didn't want to be scolded by a stranger about the dangers that wander in the bewilderness.

He took a good look at your face and knew that the heartbroken woman who almost stumbled spectularly was no more. Despite the tears that stained your cheeks, he saw the glint in your eyes. A fierce one at that. You may have not been able to defeat the slimes but something about you told Diluc that you were willing to fight even without knowing how. Right then and there, he was in awe of you.

"I am eternally grateful to you for saving my life. If there's anything I can do to repay you-"

"You needn't do that. It is my duty to protect citizens of Mondstadt." Diluc cut you off, knowing full well what you were going to say as he has heard many times already from the mouth of others.

The pain of being shut down immediately stung quite a bit. Did you somehow hurt his feelings when he asked you out that night? Hopefully not. You cleared your throat. "It does not change the fact that I will not be here today if it weren't for you."

Escaping one's death by merely a hair's breadth was certainly not something anyone should look over upon. You still shook with fear but you tried your best to give Diluc a smile of gratitude.

"Well," Diluc mirroring your smile, something probably no one has ever seen before, "If you are so eager to repay me, I would be delighted to get to know you more?" He paused to hear your response but quickly added, "As long as it's alright with you."

Your eyes almost faltered at the sight, the beating of your heart quickened seeing his grin. "I-It would be my pleasure, Master Diluc."

"Please, call me Diluc." His chuckle emphasized the deepness of his voice, tickling your ears. "I believe this must be the third time I've said that."

***

AHHHHHH I dont know where i was going with this im sorry i said id cook but it turned out raw and bland lmao. Also, I feel like i write like I'm AI or smth lmao Istg I don't use AI to write this up. I squeezed my brain for this and this is the best I can do I guess.

Smol taglist: @ruttteerr

[palahnyook]

'And I live like I've got missing limbs for you' 'For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody'

— Missing Limbs // Rain, Sleep Token

I was in a house with many rooms. The sea sweeps through the house. Sometimes it swept over me, but always I was saved.

— Piranesi, Susanna Clarke