#just a sort of musing on some parallels

[camellia-thea]

another meta post for iwtv in the works btw

[dokidokitsuna]

“Some of us…will always be alone”

Skipping forward a bit in this re-concept, just because I can~ (loooong post ahead)

So one of the many things I found underwhelming about Return of the Mammalians is the lack of villainous impact Mr. Grizz has on his own story.

For starters, he’s straight up absent from 80% of it. =/ Just a vaguely threatening disembodied voice that does weak comedy bits with Cap’n Cuttlefish from time to time…and that’s basically it until we face him in the final battle.

The worst thing he’s responsible for in the story (as in, a successful act we have to contend with, rather than a work-in-progress that we interrupt) is dehydrating Cuttlefish…which is very temporary and played for laughs immediately afterwards. We don’t even get the opportunity to engage with this “tragedy” by actively rescuing the Cap’n in gameplay, we just suddenly find his body during a cutscene.

Compare this to Commander Tartar manipulating the player and lying directly to their face throughout the game, attempting to kill the player during the reveal of its treachery in one of the most memorable scenes of the entire series, brainwashing a former protagonist into fighting the player, and then attempting to destroy an entire city while quietly confessing that it murdered thousands of victims just to get to this point.

I’ll let you guess which one of these antagonists feels like a genuine threat, and which one just feels like a disappointment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, I don’t mind Mr. Grizz being less violent and deranged than Commander Tartar…the two have different personalities and slightly different goals, and anyway a body count isn’t really necessary to be a convincing villain. But I DO mind him being so totally uninvolved, despite being a character that we already knew and interacted with beforehand. Like, at the very least…talk to the player. o_O Care about the player. Do something to interfere with the player sometime before the last minute! The fact that Grizz just doesn’t give a damn about our existence for most of the campaign is baffling from a writer’s standpoint, and heartbreaking from a Grizz-fan’s standpoint. ;_; Notice me, Kuma-san!!

…Anyway, there’s a million ways to remedy this, because it’s such a simple and obvious problem that really shouldn’t exist. ^^; And the one I chose for #re_rise (besides having Grizz haunt the game like an ever-present specter, as explained here) is one of my old tried-and-true favorites: using the villain to parallel the protagonist.

Basically, both characters are lonely at heart. Agent 3 left home for the Splatlands in search of a “fresh beginning”, after spending most of their life feeling like they never fit in anywhere. Throughout the story, we get subtle clues that what they want most is belonging and friendship…which they’re clearly discovering through their interactions with Deep Cut and Smallfry, although it’s not until the climax of the final battle that they can truly believe in it and accept it.

And of course, Mr. Grizz lost his home and entire civilization, and even in the midst of a thriving new one (that he actively engages with through his corporation…!) he’s apparently such a massive bigot that he doesn’t consider it worthy of his company. ^^; Fish-people do not count to him, thus his loneliness is self-inflicted and intensified. He believes his only recourse is to transform the world back into something he can accept.

These parallels, plus the desire-manifesting powers of Alterna’s crystals (discussed in this post) eventually brings the two characters to an understanding of sorts. Without having to exchange words, they can see and consider the similarities of their innermost feelings.

This doesn’t have much of an effect on Grizz, outside of something he might muse about while Agent 3 ascends the launchpad (and maybe quietly internalize as proof that fish-people have feelings too, just to give his last-second change of heart at least one leg to stand on). But it weighs heavily on Agent 3, especially since they’re being physically changed by their adventure in a way that makes these parallels even more relevant…yes, I’m finally gonna talk about what I actually drew. ^^

My idea was that spending too much time around Fuzzy Ooze will affect you even if you don’t touch it (i.e. through splashes/aerosols), just to a lesser degree. And since Agent 3 was the first to actually enter the underground lab spaces and spends more time fighting there than anyone else, they’ve had an unprecedented amount of secondhand exposure to it.

Through O.R.C.A.’s files, they can understand why this mild fuzzification is happening to them, and that it may not be reversible, although they press on anyway (I’d like to imply that they’re willing to ignore it to impress Deep Cut~). But Grizz’s offhand comments make them realize that they may be unintentionally setting themselves up to be cast aside again, slowly turning into a repulsive mutant monster that no one will want to be around. The only one of their kind in the world, just like a certain Ursine Anomaly…and if they succeed in stopping Grizz’s plan, that’s all they’ll ever be. 

…On the other hand, if they were to sit back and let him fuzzify the world, then…no, they couldn’t do that. They…wouldn’t…

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you @roomwithanopenfire, @rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @nausikaaa, @larkral,

@hushed-chorus, @alexalexinii, @monbons, @whatevertheweather, @run-for-chamo-miles,

@artsyunderstudy, @mooncello, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @forabeatofadrum, and @aristocratic-otter for the tags over the past few weeks. I've had a crazy month (90% in crazy a good way) and too frazzled to come up with my own WIP posts, but have enjoyed reading yours and being included.

Here are six ten moody little sentence from Chapter 11 of Basil Pitch's Diary. (In case you missed it, I posted Ch. 10, September, a few weeks ago, then fled the country.) Baz is hanging in in Niall and Dev's room:

The last time I was here with Niall, he’d told me to hold out for more than ear scritches and the occasional carrot. Now we sat on his bed with a chessboard between us. “Baz,” Niall said quietly. “What are you doing?”  “Beating you.” I moved my queen to menace his remaining bishop. “With Snow, I mean.” Niall did that thing where the rook and king hop around, which shouldn’t be allowed, and I realized he’d won. Again. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, there is a me who grew up with someone to play against, demolishing a Niall who never went to math camp.

Below the cut: musing, a posting plan, and more tags.

Musing: I've actually written a ton since the last chapter even though I've been AWOL, but for a while no matter what I wrote, Baz felt out of character. I'd write a scene, like it, and then think "but why is he doing this?" Then I'd rewrite with Baz behaving completely differently, and that also felt OOC.

I worried that I'd somehow doomed myself with inconsistent characterization, but then I figured it out: Baz at this point is deeply inconsistent. He presents himself to the world one way, he tells the reader / himself that he's something else, and deep down he's a secret third thing. And sometimes his masks slip.

To some extent this is every unreliable narrator. But boyo has REALLY tangled himself up at this point. Something's gotta give. Until it does--which it will, soon--I have to be very clear in my mind, even if Baz isn't, about which Baz is driving the Baz at any given moment.

A lot of you can do that sort of thing intuitively. I can't. So I've been building this out (showing you just the headers b/c spoilers):

This might stultify some (most?) of you. For me, though, it's freeing. When my brain isn't trying to keep track of everything, my imagination can unfurl.

"'Everything'?" you ask. "This isn't that plotty a fic." It's not, but it's already 2.5x longer than anything else I've written, which means developing skills I haven't needed before. Anyway, my BPD chart and I are having fun. We're very happy together.

Posting Plan

I pushed myself to get Ch. 10 up before leaving home for three weeks, because Ch. 9 had ended on such a wretched note. While I was happy to have gotten it up, I didn't love the self-imposed time crunch (though betas @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, and @thewholelemon were fuckin' heroes). Feeling rushed had me stressing and second-guessing choices that were probably fine.

My plan now is to pause updates until I have at least a very rough first draft of the final chapter, then post it all at regular intervals. I know a longish pause means some folks who'd been reading along will wait until it's complete, if they return at all. To those folks--sorry, and I get it, and thank you for reading in the first place, and I love you.

Tags and shy waves to @brendughh  @beastmonstertitan  @carryonsimoncarryonbaz  @carryonmylovelies  @creepyspice

@comesitintheclover @cows4247 @confused-bi-queer @artsyunderstudy@chen-chen-chen-again-chen

@chronicallyhomoerotic @drowninginships @dragoneggos @excalisbury @emeryhall

@erzbethluna @ebbpettier @fight-surrender @fatalfangirl @gay-at-ikea

@fiend-for-culture @forabeatofadrum @foolofabookwyrm-activated @arthurkko @j-nipper-95

@gekkoinapeartree @goblindad-emoshit @henreyettah @hertragedyconnoisseur @hushed-chorus

@icarus-n-flames @ineffable-grimm-pitch @ic3-que3n @ionlydrinkhotwater @iamamythologicalcreature

 @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @shrekgogurt @im-gettingby @youarenevertooold

@monbons @mooncello @raenestee @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @messofthejess

[agentrouka-blog]

omfg you have every right to be angry over that anon. What a condescending, arrogant ask. There's an extra level of insult, because people aren't just trying to dispute your opinion, they're trying to waste your time, energy, and thinking too. It's not an honest and equal debate, it's just pure entitlement.

Something for your perusal: I've been reading the ASOIAF books again and was curious when I came upon Catelyn's passage up the Eyrie in AGOTA, where she laments that Mya Stone won't be able to marry the boy she's in love with because she's a bastard. Then Catelyn muses that Mya reminds her of Sansa. I thought this was interesting because of how the information is introduced, and then the Mya-Sansa parallels. Sansa becomes a bastard when Jon is a secret prince sort of business. I haven't seen anybody mention this and thought it was curious.

Thank you! <3

And there's actually a lot of stuff in that Mya Stone moment.

For one, it happens at a time when we already know that Sansa's own dreams are as hopeless as Mya's, no matter that Sansa is trueborn, because Cat and Ned both agreed to marry her to House Lannister and at the Trident Joffrey took off his mask and nothing is being done about it regarding Sansa.

Then we have the parallel to Littlefinger, whose crush (trueborn but low status) was always as hopeless as Mya's.

Then we have the fact that Cat foregoes an obvious comparison (tomboyish Arya) by focusing on not one but two other people in regard to Mya. First the unpleasant association with Jon Snow, followed by a softening when she recognizes the resemblance to Sansa.

"Mya Stone, if it please you, my lady," the girl said. It did not please her; it was an effort for Catelyn to keep the smile on her face. Stone was a bastard's name in the Vale, as Snow was in the north, and Flowers in Highgarden; in each of the Seven Kingdoms, custom had fashioned a surname for children born with no names of their own. Catelyn had nothing against this girl, but suddenly she could not help but think of Ned's bastard on the Wall, and the thought made her angry and guilty, both at once. She struggled to find words for a reply. [...] "Mychel's my love," Mya explained. "Mychel Redfort. He's squire to Ser Lyn Corbray. We're to wed as soon as he becomes a knight, next year or the year after." She sounded so like Sansa, so happy and innocent with her dreams. Catelyn smiled, but the smile was tinged with sadness. The Redforts were an old name in the Vale, she knew, with the blood of the First Men in their veins. His love she might be, but no Redfort would ever wed a bastard. His family would arrange a more suitable match for him, to a Corbray or a Waynwood or a Royce, or perhaps a daughter of some greater house outside the Vale. If Mychel Redfort laid with this girl at all, it would be on the wrong side of the sheet. (AGOT, Catelyn VI)

Mya makes her feel guilty and angry when thinking of Jon Snow, but bittersweet when contemplating her similarity to Sansa and the impossibility of her dreams. It's easier to handle Mya's status when connecting her to Sansa, someone Cat knows how to love, rather than Jon, whose existence strips all romance from the veneer of the brutal society and the reality of patriarchy for Catelyn herself. She doesn't hate bastards, she even has sympathy for them. She only hates what Jon represents for herself.

Sansa ends up modeling her own bastard figure after Jon Snow (fourteen and bastard brave), and from what we have seen of Jon's own struggles with bastardy, his own unfullfilled dreams, it becomes easy to directly compare Sansa and Jon as similar souls, with similar hopes and disappointments, with their shared longing for something unattainable by the rules of their society.

Within the one mirroring scene coming down the mountain in AFFC, Sansa contemplates Mya Stone's lost virtue (after Cat's predictions have come to pass) and potential future husband of fitting status who would love her anyway, and she will also be reminded of Jon Snow. "I am a bastard too now, just like him. Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again. But of course that could never be."

The chapter ends with a proposed miracle transformation. Littlefinger paints the picture of a reveal of true identity: The bastard sheds their mask and is recognized for their true self. Something that can only happen to a false bastard. Like Sansa.

Who is so similar to Jon. With his impossible dreams.

[lokittystuckinatree]

Theorizing? Speculating? Musing? Daydreaming? about what the Master could have to do with *that* reveal

The Master has been haunting the narrative so much it can no longer be ignored. At first, I thought it was fan service, and then that the writers were haunting the Doctor with memory of the Master. Now, I can’t help wondering if they have a plan for the Master they aren’t telling us…Apparently the vainglorious theme even played in the Legend of Ruby Sunday.

This episode revealed that the one who waits is Sutekh, the God of Death, who I tragically know little about, as I just started Classic Who and haven’t seen Pyramid of Mars yet…(I plan to by next week.)

Sutekh is the God of Death, and in Master? I think? It was revealed that the Master is Death’s champion because the (future) Doctor killed their bully only to make a deal with Death to swap he and the Master’s fates or something like that? (Spare me the details)

Which has me thinking: what a great opportunity for narrative parallels. Is it possible that the Master has made some sort of pact to do the Death God’s bidding in return for being freed from the Toymaker’s tooth?

Sutekh is also heavily associated with the Devil and Satanic imagery; he was conjured like a demon and maybe possesses people? He is referred to as the Beast, and in Satan Pit, the same actor played Stand-In Satan.

The Master has dabbled in vaguely Gothic Horror like tropes before (Cybermen as transhumanist nightmares, reanimated corpses controlled by a Mad Scientist? Missy’s whole Mad Wife in Attic thing?) so would Tortured Artist Sells Soul to the Devil be that unreasonable?

Is my writer brain cooking, or has my Master brainrot progressed to madness? Would the Master hate being caged enough to give up a bit of their control? Would RTD even think of that?

Probably not, but who’s gonna stop me fantasizing, the police?

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

1989 - The story of two muses

Back to my first and forever love – Lyric analysis!

1989 is very close to my heart, and I have always found it noticeable that this album has quite a contrast between love songs about a very up and down/anxiety filled relationship on one hand, and the very raw and heartfelt romance as portrayed in ‘This Love’ and YAIL on the other.

And the 5 new vault songs we have on Taylor’s version now have added quite a bit of detail to the picture that emerges and I’m more convinced than ever that there are two distinct relationships/muses being described and I fancied doing a deep dive into how each one is described in the music and how the themes connect to other songs. (And it may even explain the beach theme 😉)

Ok, so, I have actually sorted every song from 1989 that is about a romantic relationship, including the 5 new vault tracks, into this scheme (even though I found some really hard!)

Muse 1 – “The heartbreaker” This relationship is described as very up and down, very anxiety-driven, something you can’t walk away from like an addiction, “against your better knowledge but can’t help myself” kind of way. Taylor has described this person as ‘the one that might one day interrupt your wedding, because you’re never truly over’.  Break up: ‘you left me’.

Muse 2 – “The one that came back” While this relationship is by no means described as perfect, it has a very different tone to it. It’s very much based in secure feelings, ‘us against the world’, any difficulty faced is worth it. Break up: ‘had to let it go’. And the person came back when it counted.

(Sorry about the pictures, I couldn't fit a table in any other way)

I am really impressed with how much just five new songs have furthered the story of these two relationships and I (personally) love how much this is filling in the blanks and makes everything make so much more sense. 'You can hear it in the silence' vs 'Now your silence has me screaming' almost killed me, honestly. She really found the love that needs no words. 🥰 And the direct contrast of the metaphors, one relationship as an addiction with very high highs and very low lows, and the other as the calm waves on the shore that continually come in and out with the tide, is just so masterfully done, I love it. And I think given the beach theme of the 1989 TV covers, we can guess which of the muses is being honoured in this re-branding.

Lyrical connections to later albums

Perhaps not surprisingly, these two muses and their lyrical themes show up again in Taylor’s music in later albums. The connection I’ve already seen a lot of people make is the playing cards reference from Say Don’t Go (‘I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show’) linking to Cornelia Street (‘back when we were card sharks, playing games’). And I love how this tells the story of someone whose previous relationship impacts how they react in a new relationship. Because the person in Say Don’t Go really did lead her on and played her and then left, whereas the Cornelia Street muse didn’t but Taylor thought as much based on her previous experience (‘I THOUGHT you were leading me on…but then you called, showed your hand…’).

Another parallel to Lover songs is the ‘light in the dark’ theme that starts in This Love with “lantern burning/ flickered in my mind for only you”, which feels very similar to “chandelier still flickering here” from Death by A Thousand Cuts. This relationship/lover is the light that perseveres in the dark, even if it’s just flickering, it never goes out. It lights up the darkness (‘glowing in the dark’), whereas the other relationship is a “shot in the darkest dark”. We obviously get a whole lot more songs in later albums that reference love as light in the darkness, most prominently in Daylight, the Lover album closer. But more subtly, I also think that “Takin’ your time in the tangerine neon light” from Slut, and “hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine” from Cruel Summer follow that same pattern. Something that illuminates the darkness. And just btw, Slut and Cruel Summer give me a very similar vibe in terms of different takes on the same situation…anyone else get that? But one last, maybe more subjective, connection is the line “I’ll pay the price, you won’t”. Which everyone immediately took as a comment on double standards between men and women, but I think it could also be interpreted to mean ‘I’ll happily pay the price and take the hit, so you don’t have to’, if you interpret the song to be about dating a man in public to keep a female partner out of the public eye.  With that in mind, the line becomes very reminiscent of ‘I can never give you peace’ from folklore, both expressing that Taylor wants to shield her lover from the media scrutiny that comes with dating her.  

Suburban Legends alone has so many links to later songs that I had to give it its own paragraph. The chorus ‘I didn’t come here to make friends’ is so ‘I don’t want you like a best friend’ coded, and ‘We were born to be suburban legends’ gives me big reputation/big conversation vibes. Other people have already pointed out that ‘flushed with the currency of cool’ draws links to Gold Rush and Gorgeous (‘You’re so cool it makes me hate you so much’) and ‘so magnetic it’s almost obnoxious’ is very similar to ‘magnetic force of a man’ from Lover. All painting the picture of a person who is so cool and alluring that they feel almost unattainable. The whole premise of the song being that the narrator didn’t come to make friends, but instead is on a mission to get what they want, feels very Mastermind to me. The background music over the outro confirms that, as it’s the same production as Mastermind (I call it ‘game show music’ 😊) and the lyrics saying that the muse now doesn’t knock anymore, suggests to me that maybe the masterplan has worked. Lastly, the conclusion of the song being ‘my life is ruined/I always knew it’ is a different way of saying I’ll happily ruin myself for you, as in ‘for you I’d ruin myself a million little times’ from Illicit Affairs.

We don’t get nearly as many references to the first muse’s themes in later music, but ‘fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole” from Long Story Short is a nice drawback to the wonderland theme. Bottom line though, ‘It was the wrong guy…’.

And there we have it, the story of the two muses of 1989. If anybody here is even remotely as excited by lyrical analysis as I am, this one is for you, and feel free to have a friendly chat in the comments if I’ve missed anything!

[anteroom-of-death]

Teacher's Pet part 17

Synopsis: The Doctor muses on the nature of what he could do, the reader is a willing accomplice to her own life.

A/n: first off, I'd like to thank @queerconfusionthings on the slightly darker tone of this chapter and our long talks about 12, it changed this chapter. You get me in a way precious others do...and to all my readers, yall are best. To my mutuals, I'd die for you. Especially those who don't share my needs here. Love u.

It started to border on experimental. So many untapped valleys and choices he could make now that his pet fawn was solidly by his side, and now bound to leave him, no matter how dire the situation or how many red flags or fears the ghosts of his past could bequeath to her. (Y/N) was firmly in his grasp. Perhaps indefinitely.

There were certain thought experiments that were hypothetical that he was taught at the academy. How to not just bind a weaker species to your mind not just in mind, but in blood. The facets of addiction was the singular universal trait of all sentient life in the cosmos. He admitted that he was becoming as addicted to her as she was to him, and those nasty substances she would take.

He was of half a mind to remove their influence on her body and substitute them for him. As they walked through Kew Gardens, he mused on that. Take the urge that crippled her for drinks and cigarettes to the point of clouding her thoughts at times, bind those starved out brain cells to the idea of him. The swap from nicotine and ethyl alcohol to the Doctor would he fairly easy to do.

Ultimately, after she flashed him a smile and kissed him on the cheek before heading to the loo, he decided against it. For now.

She was getting beyond handsy…almost to the point of him being begged to fuck her in public. Maybe the switch was happening naturally. The addiction to the physical was clearly getting stronger…

Wouldn’t he be so lucky?

He’d have another full-scale rifle in her mind soon to assess the current situation!

Maybe he was more like the Rani than he’d previously assessed…

Wouldn’t that just choke the life from Missy? Her precious parallels dashed in the face if him ending up much more like their estranged friend turned mutual foe.

Whatever the case in this poorly-plotted and infinitely nailed-out love story he was crafting, the Doctor was sure of one thing. His reputation as the universe’s biggest savior, it’s self-inserted martyr needed to stay intact. Missy knew to some extent. Missy could feel and reveled in his own self-corruption at the hands of this mere human.

Missy would, even if she wanted to escape, keep this secret. Their rivalry and comrades and millennia-long bond, despite how fucked up it was, or how many times they’d kill or fight one another was iron-clad.

Honor among thieves or something…

The idea of some sort of vivisection briefly clouded his vision as he saw her exit the toilets. She was beaming. She held her jacket in her hand and her teeth caught in the light.

He decided against that idea.

There were opportunities endlessly flowing out.

“Hey, I’m absolutely starving!” She pulled him by the ties on his hoodie. “Do you want to go to a pub after this? There’s got to be a really good one that does a lovely roast dinner or something.”

Totally clueless, totally obvious to the danger she was in. So fine-tuned to weird shadows and knew when a human man on the street was up to no good. She didn’t know that the real predator was getting the aglets of his hoodie flicked around.

Poor her. Poor little fawn. Fully in the wolf’s maw and her neck was already snapped. Lost in the too-dark woods, separated from her herd. Only the guidance of that would come had made a meal of her. And was toying her corpse out further…

He felt his cock stiffen.

Maybe he would take her tonight. Just until bleeding. See how far her dependence on her would go. Maybe degrade her a bit.

If he could, he would. Wasn’t it his right?

He did own her, after all. Everyone from the team at UNIT to that last scrappy remnant of Torchwood saw her over-the-moon, fully-tethered ache for him…

They all picked up on something far more grasping than mere companion in their relationship. He wasn’t risking her life and breaking her spirit on planets far outside her home solar system. A dark, full-bodied compatriot. An equal lover. Perhaps they would arrive at the conclusion of his idea of settling down on Earth.

Not like their human opinions mattered in the end…

“Yes, of course.” He returned her eager, lavish smile with one of his own.

He slammed these thoughts back in the dark chest that was his mind. For now he’d just play with her hormones and her mind. Just put them at maximum. Continue this charade.

Keep everyone and everyone in the dark…

It was a great rest of the day, a butterfly landed on her arm. She delicately picked it up to rest on her finger and it stayed put as if she was her own form of magic. The little insect crawled around and she led it to rest on his jacket.

“He’s probably picking up the sugar scrub I used last night.” She rationalized.

“Or you’re just preternaturally sweet.” He let out the cheesy line as it flicked itself off his being and flew into the air. She shot him a bemused sideways glance. When she finally got it off her finger and it was firmly on his being she slightly shook her head and rolled her eyes.

Obviously, it didn’t take a liking to him.

It’s instincts were far better tuned.

He took her to the closest pub. It wasn’t doing a roast dinner that night. She was put out, but ordered chips with a gin and tonic and some little sandwich thing.

His Earth girls really loved their chips.

Maybe that was his type? Little, bold Earth girls with loud minds that could devour nothing but chips for all eternity and be perfectly happy doing so.

He could live with that…

She went out for a cigarette and he mentally made contact with Missy.

She ‘picked up’ the mental receiver.

‘How goes London, you filthy old man?’ The words shot into his mind like an icicle from a roof.

‘Fine, just curious, how much attention did you pay to Professor Hedflonhorzthenethar’s lessons on groove-making in lesser species?’

‘Rapt, Doccy. Why?’

‘Send me your memories, I’ll Amazon a tuba to my office.’

Another betrayal of the morals he started this regeneration with…

‘Let me see you do it. I’ll only do it if you do it now and let me look through your eyes!’ It was sharp, it felt like she was beside him shouting it.

He gave her permission to see through his eyes. He sighed and whipped out his phone, ordered a tuba and closed up the connect to his eyes.

The entirety of her memories regarding the lessons pinged into his brain like an email or perhaps a text notification…

His little fawn slid back onto the barstool next to him as Missy closed the line…

‘Don’t break her yet! I want to be her friend! I’m so lonely!’

He could still feel her teasing pout lingering in his brain. Perhaps she left it as a taste of his own medicine.

“The night’s getting cooler.” (Y/N) informed.

“Pity, you’ll need to cover up.”

Her mind was clearly projecting images of her taking him to the toilets and fucking him in the stall. Loudly.

Her mind was wandering, she kept admiring the line of his brow and the way his fingers crossed over as he held the glass of Fanta he was slowly sipping. She needed him in ways that would shock perhaps even Captain Jack Harkness or perhaps that smaller, dark shadow that used to follow him around, John Hart was his name?

A pathetic kicked dog that craved the Captain’s attention…

Just like him and Missy.

He shook his head at that particular parallel.

Probably the advantage of dating someone in her profession. She knew what was avant-garde in sex!

Or at least for a human of her time period that had never been off-planet…

The Doctor let his mind wander into hers. Despite her clear projection, he wanted to see exactly what the damage of the last night was. She was chattering on about a philosophy book she picked up for between clients and for downtime at work. She completed it and wanted to share her critiques of it and her ways she’d probably improve upon the messages. As well as what she liked from it- she wasn’t all kvetching, no appreciation, after all.

In all honesty, he loved the wild tangential spin she loved. He felt some remorse about how deeply he had rummaged in her brain. She still was, in a sense, her own. Just now permanently entangled in his web. Like a rat in a glue trap, but only she didn’t grasp how sticky the glue was…. She was fully mentally tethered. He’d have to be more careful, he didn’t want to lose her, or push these experiences too deep. Losing this spark of ingenuity and tired vivaciousness would be a sin worse than anything else.

He swallowed another sip of his Fanta.

It seemed a bit shaken, but he swept those away. Kept them as salacious afterthought. Bonded the memories from today that were pleasant to her already aching neurotransmitters. Amped up her hormones a tad bit.

Anyone around her, even a stupid human could probably hear her mind now. It was both very intrigued by the subject matter of the book but also so desperately needy for her Doctor. He could feel her aching cunt and body responding from here. Anybody with a pulse could probably get her drift.

He'd probably, if anyone was sensitive enough, have to start beating them off with a stick!

That could be fun, lure her further. Let her know that she was only safe with him…

He ran the possibilities and scanned the bar, seeing if he could play any games.

Sadly not.

He decided against that for the moment.

Especially since something told him that she’d have precious little trouble fighting for herself. Unless he purposefully put her mind in a state of freeze, he doubted that a pub brawl based on her appearance would faze her. She, like most human girls, had been numbed to that sort of violence.

She’d probably have to come in and save him, by the looks of a few of the other patrons here…

He dissolved that idea. He couldn’t risk breaking his promise to her and regenerating on the spot if she was frozen, meant to witness. His superior genetics and all that may come with was no match for a gone-to-seed ex-rugby player nor someone who clearly worked security. As he finished his assessment of the crowd in the pub.

His mind games would have to play out in other ways still…

Just adjust the plans that he had. And take in the information Missy had pinged him.

The illusion of free will still reflected true, right?

His old pal, Plato did some allegory with a cave…sadly he wasn’t paying attention when the man was speaking. Missed the point, invented a self-lubricating spatula for flapjacks.

Oops.

He’d never say he was depriving her of that outright, no too controversial. Too salacious. Guidance, yes. A dual corruption arc? Definitely.

Daddy knows best, rung through his skull. An old line he told Kate about the poison to kill the Zygons…

Paternalistic? Yes.

How could he not be? A human is so young and weak compared to most species out there. Let alone him and his!

After all, he was her teacher. Her educator.

These thoughts, mixed with how strong she was fantasizing about fucking him, and her natural allure…he was shocked that he wasn’t bursting through his trousers, exposing himself to all to see.

He'd fuck her tonight. Not only did she clearly need it, but if he didn’t give in, he would probably act out.

He had fully surrendered himself to current path he was on. Yes.

He’d not destroy her entirely. Take away what enchanted him to her. That would be a sin graver than killing her outright. She had goals and dreams. They had discussed at such at length. He’d let her have those. So long as she’d never stray from his clingy side.

He half-wished he could summon a past version of himself, or perhaps a future without risking too much. Just to confer and pass back ideas.

All he had was Missy.

Or to sneak off and search for the Rani.

And they’d destroy him with zealous help.

No! He was alone in this path. Only solace was Missy and her enjoyment of his fawn and petty need to be good and please reform for her release. He walked his path utterly alone.

The evening wound itself up. The Doctor had to pounce. To claim what little of his fawn lay left unclaimed. Ruin her forever. Claim her indefinitely…

He paid their bill and ventured into the night.

A pep laid in his step, his cock still semi-stiff. He’d destroy her to rebuild her.

Teacher’s Pet.

He’d have his fun next term. Make her into a professor’s aide. Push her servile nature to him into a possibly public place. Show her off, perhaps even.

But for now? He was about ready to explode. His balls ached, and his hearts were full.

All in the name of love, right?

Or obsession…

Either way, still to have someone as alluring with such a firm form like (insert a description of your body, reader…) and a mind as hard in her ideals, but so easy to toy with?

Ecstasy…

[vidavalor]

So I’ve been thinking about your metatron is Satan theory and how Crowley, the Angels and Adam see what they expect to see and idly wondering if it’s sort of the same for all demons. We have multiple versions of Crowley and Bildad, and lots of theories as to why, but what if it’s as simple as the various characters see what they expect and so we the viewer see variations? Beez getting a new face may throw a spanner into that idea but it just seems to me that if this is the plot twist in season three then the different versions of Crowley may be a clue… anyhow your meta was brilliant and wanted to toss my poorly thought out 1am musings at you to see what you thought.

Hi there @thavron! Hope you're having a great weekend so far. 💕I've been thinking again about bees a bit as a result of your ask so there is baklava for a honeyed dessert. Love your thoughts-- they've been tickling my brain for a few days now. 😊

If you're meaning: do we all sometimes see people as we want them to be or who we think they are, rather than who they actually are... then, yes, I would say that fits in with the recognition themes the show has going on.

To an extent, we all do this, right? And the show about angels and demons is really about the messy and amazing business of being a person. All the angels and demons are people, just like the humans. We all put on a performance in society to some extent. Our clothes, our grooming choices, how we speak, how we walk, eye contact, body language-- all of this is a performance. It's a construct that we get up every morning and do. Awhile back, we were looking at the choices David Tennant is making when it comes to Crowley's walk in different time periods-- especially when Crowley takes the stage to help Aziraphale in 1941-- and how the walk is representative of how comfortable he feels in society in different eras. That's just one aspect of things but, yeah, we're all showing one face to the world as a whole but those we let in often get to see another one.

I think that, for the most part, this holds true with angels and demons. Satan is an exception to the rule because he's Satan and actually evil so he is capable of the dubious kind of magic that the other characters don't really do. Satan will possess someone without consent, for instance. It's not hard to see that he would steal someone's physical appearance to mask his own as he already stole the voice of Freddie Mercury in S1 (which I also think is another clue to the idea that it's not actually The Metatron at the end of S2, as we've seen Satan do something like this before already.)

I think that the rest of the demons see what we see when they look at one another, on a physical appearance level. As you pointed out, Crowley can see that Beez has a new face in S2 so Crowley sees Beez's physical presentation as how we see Beez's physical presentation. He also can recognize Shax when she's bouncing around humanoid forms outside the bookshop in the mid-part of the season. There are different versions of Crowley because Crowley has lived on Earth forever and is just blending in with different societies (and he also gets bored lol.) I think that's one aspect of the recognition theme in the show because what we see when we look at each other and how that informs our ability to recognize ourselves seems like a big thing in the story.

I think S2 is talking about recognition on several different levels. We have recognition in terms of how every character on the show is really desperate for someone to tell them that they're good and that they're doing a good job. Beez's only solo scene in the whole season is actually about that and it parallels Aziraphale's anger, embarrassment, and frustration over Heaven's treatment of him. Everyone's a bit Norman from S1 who wanted a watch and some kind words and to bugger off and go tend to some marigolds but whose company wouldn't let him go and dragged him into a paintball Armageddon lol.

It's only natural to want recognition, really, as we all want to be noticed and seen for what we do, but it also underscores a bigger theme of that how we see ourselves can impact our ability to fully see others... but also how if we open ourselves up and allow room for curiosity and empathy, our ability to see others as they are allows for more open, honest, communication... and how that's good for all of us. That way lies peace-- both inner peace and peace with others.

In almost every major scene in S2, at least one character is trying to recognize at least one other one in some way and it's often literally recognizing the person. There is no one character in the series who is flawless at this and that's because they're all people representing us and none of us are flawless at this, are we? At recognizing ourselves or at fully seeing others at times without our own bullshit getting in the way? Even those of us who consciously try to be open, empathetic people struggle with this because we're people. The angels and demons are no better or worse than any of the humans and their story is actually about the messy but amazing business of being a person, which they all are.

If and how the characters recognize others around them in S2 reflects how those characters see themselves and the world around them. It's a matter of perspective and it's not one-sided because how we present ourselves to the world reflects what we're willing to share and sets up expectations that some others might take at face value but that might not be true. Other, more open-minded people might be able to see through those walls, though, if they're in a place to do so.

Ineffable Bureaucracy are the cleanest example of this (and one of the funniest) because here you have in Gabriel a character that you don't expect would be as open-minded as he is. In a lot of scenes in S1, we saw him putting on airs to cover up his curiosity and empathy as a means to survive. Yet, he has one of the smoothest recognition challenges in S2.

At first, he doesn't recognize Beez with their new face but, once it's established that this is the being he likes greatly, he doesn't think twice about it. Gabriel looks like the kind of guy who would care about appearance of others because he's a bit vain about his own but he literally could give a fuck that his partner changed up their face because what matters to him more is that it was the same person inside.

The guy who seems like the shallowest character on the show-- and, in some ways, is-- is actually also one of the least shallow. He also knew without question that he could trust Aziraphale and Crowley and went to them for help intuitively, even without consciously remembering them. Gabriel is actually a pretty good judge of character, all things considered. In S2, we learn more about him and as the characters recognize that he might not be quite who they thought he was, it's on us to see that we can think that, too. Our perspectives can evolve with a bit of empathy.

Lord Beezlebub also shows that they can be good at recognizing truth in others, too. One of the best moments of recognition in S2 is when Beez sees Gabriel's vanity for the loneliness that it masks when he takes them to see the statue of himself. Most of us, honestly, would probably run screaming from a guy who took us to show us art of himself and bragged about how beautiful it was but Beez gets it. They see Gabriel then even more than he sees himself a bit. They see that he really took them here because the statue is all he feels he is to people and he's being crushed under the weight of being revered like a god by humans and angels alike. He's just a lonely dude with no friends and more heart than he lets on.

The statue scene is also the punchline to the joke started earlier in the season during The Resurrectionist minisode, though, right?It calls back to Crowley saying that Gabriel probably came to the statue to "stare at it for hours" and "marvel at his own beauty." Crowley wasn't wrong, exactly, but he also wasn't fully correct, either. He didn't understand totally why Gabriel might really come to the statue, which Beez later would understand.

Crowley is one of the best judges of character in the series but S2 showed just how much his blindspot is his trauma, like it is for a lot of people. Crowley took almost the whole season to see Gabriel for who he is and he had reason to distrust him, sure. His fear of the situation is reasonable and understandable but it also shows a narrowed perspective. It showed how it was hard for Crowley to admit to himself that maybe Gabriel has been as trapped as he and Aziraphale have been-- that maybe he's as much of a victim and a survivor of all of this as they are-- because they've spent so long ascribing blame to him instead of considering that maybe he, also, had no way out. Recognizing Gabriel means Crowley recognizing and dealing with aspects of his trauma that he'd sometimes rather avoid, which made it harder and caused it to take longer for the two of them to get to a point of actually talking. When they do, we see them recognizing each other's suffering and showing each other empathy. The end of S1 is Crowley spitting hellfire in Gabriel's face but the end of S2 is just him all ugh ok fine...

Growth lol.

We also see how history can provide context that can inform the ability to recognize others as well. Aziraphale has a longer, more complicated history with Gabriel than Crowley does. Aziraphale had more reason to suspect that there could be more to Gabriel than he always let everyone see, especially since there are a couple of scenes in S1 without Crowley but between just Gabriel and Aziraphale (the sushi restaurant and the Sandalphon exchange at the bookshop) where it seems like Gabriel is trying to protect Aziraphale as best he knows how and that Aziraphale seems aware that he's trying to do that. It's how Aziraphale arrives first at "I don't think he has any friends" and thinking that Gabriel needed him and Crowley, especially since he had shown up alone and vulnerable.

Aziraphale also sees the benefit of trying to get Gabriel and Crowley to talk to one another-- not in a would-benefit-Heaven-and-Hell sort of way, just in the sense that they are more alike than they realize and had been through similar things. That's a form of recognition as well-- acknowledgement of a person's pain and needs when they've not had that from others. Aziraphale is proven correct and his ability to see both Crowley and Gabriel for who they are and who they can be is admirable and shows his empathy and open-mindedness.

But mah point is that it's scene after scene of recognition... Gabriel's entire plot. Muriel shows up at the door, doesn't recognize Aziraphale. Crowley can't remember (or chooses to pretend he can't remember) Furfur and Saraqael. Michael almost recognizes Gabriel in the bookshop. Shax is desperate for Satan's recognition for her job performance-- but also for Crowley's attention. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets wants everyone to see him as a leader. Maggie feels unlovable and just wants Nina to notice her, all while failing to recognize that what Nina wants is for someone to notice that she's in pain and to lend her support... this is all off of the end of S1 and the body swap plot in which Crowley and Aziraphale literally stayed alive by being able to recognize one another on different levels so astutely that they could impersonate one another. (Another hint, imho, that maybe the mirrored end of S2 might feature another character who seems like one character we know but who is actually another with The Metatron-is-actually-Satan idea.)

Even the little moments of the season have recognition woven into them. Do we know a Jim?, Maggie and Nina's first scene is kicked off by Nina recognizing Maggie as a regular and remembering her coffee order...

Maybe the sweetest moment of the whole season is a scene highlighting Aziraphale's struggles with reconciling his own needs in the face of having been taught he's not to want anything for himself and Crowley recognizing that struggle and supporting Aziraphale by telling him he's already perfect as he is. Damn straight I'm including the gifs I love this damn scene lol..

But the big scene that parallels the arrival of "The Metatron" in The Final 15 is the angels failing to recognize Bildad the Shuite coming through the door, right?

When Crowley comes in as Bildad the Shuite to the group scene in the Job minisode, Gabriel, Michael and the other angels fail to recognize Bildad as Crowley entirely because of the things Crowley later explained to Muriel as his analogy around bees. The idea is that context, imagination and ego inform our ability to recognize someone (and also ourselves.)

Contextually, it made more sense to the angels in that moment for Bildad to be some weird human than it did for him to be a demon working to save the lives of Job's children. This is one of the main reasons why the angels don't recognize Crowley-- they simply don't see a scenario where there would be someone to recognize. It's just like how Michael initially doesn't assume that the person who comes through the door in 2.06 could be anyone they should care about-- because they're on Earth, in a bookshop that is open to the public, so the unexpected person who came through the door must be a human person shopping for books.

Context also includes appearance and one of the things I loved about the other angels failing to realize that they know Bildad is how it contrasts with my favorite bit of recognition in S2-- Aziraphale instantly recognizing Crowley from a distance, after over 500 years, and with Crowley looking completely different. The second Aziraphale actually looks at the demon he's telling to avaunt! on outta there, he knows it's Crowley. The jump from the Crowley of The Flood to Bildad the Shuite is huge. Crowley even has sunglasses on for the first time chronologically in the scene and Aziraphale's just like "it's you." He would recognize the love of his life anywhere.

As far as the ego part goes, all Gabriel cared about in the Job minisode was a scenario that didn't undermine him and which got all the boxes checked on their assignment so when Crowley and Aziraphale present him with that, Gabriel is happy to shut down any minor opposition to the truth to go with what he is presented with-- in large part because of ego. Aziraphale and Crowley flatter Gabriel into submission to their plan. Gabriel eats it up and because he has the power in the scene, Michael's suspicions are not given credence for more than a moment.

Michael also lacks the imagination to figure out what could actually be going on and takes what they're told is the truth too easily because, like most know-it-alls, they actually don't really feel like they know anything. They defaulted to Gabriel's "they can come at any size" comment so easily not just because he had the power in the scene but because they suddenly doubted themselves and let someone else tell them how they were to think.

Michael's lack of imagination and tendency towards purely literal thinking is also on display when they are shown to not understand Crowley's shoes joke. They sense shenanigans are afoot but don't exactly know how and they also seek to look impressive to the boss so they jump in that "'Shuite', of course, means 'from the land of 'Shua'," which is correct. It does mean that. Michael is not wrong but they just are so sheltered by life in Heaven and so lacking in imagination that they also lack sense of humor enough to hear the homophony in Shuite/Shoes. The only angel who gets the joke is, of course, Aziraphale.

So, a lack of imagination (which is also a lack of big picture and creative thinking), a reliance upon context, and the perils of ego are why the angels didn't recognize Bildad as Crowley in 2500 BC and are also what Crowley is explaining to Muriel with his bees analogy.

It wouldn't actually occur to the angels as possible that there could just be a demon roaming around in Heaven because they're all too caught up in themselves to consider the possibility, right? To admit that it's possible is to admit that maybe they themselves are fallible and don't know everything. Angels are taught that they are near to perfection and should behave in that way so it's hard to think of themselves as having weaknesses that might need to be addressed. They all know they do have them but they can't admit it or they're admitting at failing to live up to the impossible standards of Heaven.

Many of us have trouble admitting that the point is that we're all here to learn and be curious and we aren't meant to know everything and that things would be less fun if we did. We struggle to admit when we've gotten something-- or someone-- wrong. People who have an inability to see a bigger picture are also sometimes blocked from doing so by their own trauma and issues-- as Crowley himself proves.

Sometimes, people just aren't that imaginative or haven't had the opportunity to use their imagination, as Crowley sees in the angels. The point is that none of us are perfect in our ability to recognize ourselves and those around us. If we all just continue to try to do so and keep a curious, open mind about each other, though, it leads to more peace for everyone. It means we're talking to each other more, which is the healthy way forward.

So, if the whole season is using these characters to talk about our ability to see ourselves and others and if it has us watch scene after scene of recognition or lack thereof between the characters where we feel like these characters might not know what's up but we sure do, right?...

...we knew Gabriel was telling the truth about his memory loss... we knew the Inspector Constable at the door was the angel from the Job minisode... we recognized Lord Beezlebub with a new face... we definitely knew who came through the door and called himself "Bildad the Shuite"...

...wouldn't it then be a kicker if the end of that season is to prove the point by showing us that we're all actually as infallible as these characters are? That we're all bees, too?

And how would they do that?

Possibly by presenting us with a character we think we can recognize but which, if we look a little closer, we might realize is not quite who he seems to be.

[autistichalsin]

I find Halsin’s devotion to Silvanus quite interesting. We get the iconic gesture™ and general musings of reverence. Of course, he doesn’t proselytize to the extent Shadowheart/Lae’zel do—but the old/new teachings and the natural order are frequently invoked.

(Obviously, his worship and spirituality do not veer into obsession like the latter two, nor is he seeking to convert anyone Sharran cult-style. I’ve just noticed some parallels in language choice and religious references.)

There seemed to be some sort of crisis of faith in act 3?? Had he not been preoccupied with grove politics and the shadow curse for so long, how would his relationship to religion manifest? Would it be different? More intense? Less? Will it change post-game/epilogue?

It's interesting as well, because SH and Lae'zel were raised in their religions. Halsin, on the other hand, is a wood elf; it would be highly unusual for him not to worship the Seldarine, so it is very likely he converted at some point, or that his parents were very openminded. This raises another dimension to his religiosity; he isn't just following Silvanus because it's all he knows, but because he made the choice. Halsin is the healthy and happy religious devotee to contrast SH and Lae'zel being cult victims.

There definitely seems to be a crisis, but it doesn't seem to be a crisis of faith, or at least, not what we traditionally think of as one. He wasn't doubting his faith or devotion, but rather, how to best serve nature while also taking into accounts the way human(oid) needs have changed.

I think the Shadow Curse deepened his religious devotion; he mentions that he spent years currying favor with Silvanus as he tried to find a way into the Shadowfell. On the other hand, I could see Grove politics having a distancing effect. So maybe the "amount" of devotion would be the same, but just in different ways. As for the epilogue, I don't know if I can guess how his arc would have turned out if not for the curse!

[cyber-neptune]

Legalize being able to mess around with characters WHILE BEING AWARE that they're ooc.

Sometimes you just wanna share stuff you made up as an inside joke or just wanna try projecting some stuff as a way to cope or to try and express yourself without someone screaming at you for "Making them OOC".

I'm honestly so tired of this shit and I know Im no better for giving this dog shit situation more attention but for fuck sake.

I am AWARE my goofy headcanons/shitpost/whatever ARENT CANON / ARE OOC. You literally don't need to harass me over it.

"He wouldn't act like that"

I KNOW!! I FUCKING KNOW!!! I just wanna make up stuff and have fun with shitty parallel universe is it that fucking hard to understand or did you have a stick shoved up your ass since day one?!

I've been giving multiple explanations as to why I like making shitty things for fun yet no one seems to understand. So ill go ahead and say it here and hope people will get off my back about it.

Hi, my name is Zero and I make cringy fem Megatron content. I am well aware it isn't canon and aligns with next to nothing. I'm only making content for fun. This whole girl-Megs thing started as a joke and soon became something I enjoyed experimenting with. While you have the normal "everything is the same except Megatron is a girl lol" I decided to post my headcanons I made up for fun while being AWARE that they're fanon and ooc.

Like I mentioned, it's just for fun.

However, people decided to go ahead and harass me instead of doing the mature thing. Which is either

A) scroll past it

Or

B) block me

This has been putting a lot of stress on my mental and emotional health. It's been messing with my self esteem because I'm a people pleaser who always tries to make things right even if it's something I don't enjoy.

Megatron is a comfort character for me and some sort of muse. I like drawing tfp Megs because he's one of the first tf character I learned to draw. I use him as a placeholder for a fan continuity/personal design.

This is one of the main reasons why a lot of headcanons/shitty takes dont make sense. Because im tailoring them to my own continuity.

I will now repeat myself;

I know my headcanons/shitposts aren't Canon.

'TFP Megatron' is a placeholder for my Megatron design im still working on.

I am aware what I write is insanely OOC.

Megatron is a comfort character and a muse for me.

This has done nothing but mentally fuck me up. I'm sincerely hoping this is the last time I have to speak up on this.

[turbulentscrawl]

how does the illusion hall and miss nightingale work in the manor setting? you briefly mentioned them once but i don't think you ever elaborated on them?

I haven't elaborated! My thoughts about that all aren't quite as cemented as other setting details, so it hasn't come up as much, but I'll try to explain the way I see her for now.

To explain this, I need to preface a few things.

Firstly: the manor exists because of Orpheus. I'm not sure exactly how or why yet, but something in his actions created this strange, pocket dimension, and he is a core piece of its not-really-comprehensible infrastructure.

And second: I don't enjoy treating the manor like it's an actual gameshow. I don't think there's a shop, currency, or any of that. Necessities and some basic comforts are provided to survivors and hunters to keep them content enough to cooperate in the games, but there is no obvious rewards for winning (other than not feeling the pain of death again.) I enjoy the horror aspect of this all, and I think treating the setting too much like the video game takes away from that.

Now onto it: the way I see it, Nightingale is another figment of Alice that was created from Orpheus when the manor's pocket dimension formed up, similar to Memory. Nightingale, however, is far more elusive and far more eldrich than Memory, so instead of taking part in the games in any capacity, the manor uses her as an avenue for change in an otherwise stagnant pool of time. Nightingale is a muse, and a creator. She makes "skins" for the characters based on the constant stream of ideas and stories in Orpehus's unconsciousness. These skins cause (mostly small) changes in the person who wears them--they are, at their core, always the same person, but the history that comes with each alternate version of themselves emphasizes different aspects of them. This, unbeknownst to everyone else, is a way to expose this collection of cowards, assholes, and killers (sorry, but it's true) to each other. Lord knows they won't take down their emotional walls WILLINGLY and let themselves really be known.

The Illusion Hall is just her domain in the manor. It's rarely accessible, and only when she wants it to be. When it is about, it parallels the Hall of Muses in the real manor. Sort of this intimidatingly long hallway with statues and portraits of Nightingale herself. If someone enters to find her, she appears to them from one of these depictions; either speaking to them from within a frame or a living statue suddenly stepping down off of a pedestal.

[teapot-tyrant]

Stupid twst OC drabble that I haven't proofread based on a post I saw about what if Yuu is just experiencing the story of TWST like in the "Lost in the Book" events.

Have fun, I guess.

"And then what happened?" A young boy asked, curiously tilting his head to the side.

"Calm down, Kevin! I'm getting there." Yuna replied, patting the young boy's head as she looked around the room.

It had been a habit for her, telling her younger brother a story that had been going on for weeks, if not months by now.

"I know," the boy pouted. "But I hafta know what happened while the maid girl was fighting the... Um... Death people!"

"You mean the Brothers of the River Styx?"

"Yeah! Them!"

"Ok. Well then... The Maiden was fighting alongside three other heroes: the Eccentric Archer, the Gutsy Squire, and the Beautiful Prince..."

She didn't really remember where she got the idea from, but Kevin seemed to enjoy the story as she mused.

"Wait, Yuyu! Isn't that Prince guy the guy the Maiden beat up real good a few days ago?"

"Yeah, it is! I'm glad you remembered, hehe... It wasn't the Maiden who beat him up though, it was her dear friend, the Loyal Spadesman, who dealt the finishing blow."

"Ah... But wait- why isn't he or the other one here again?"

The characters in her story were all the same, though there were many of them. As far as Yuna could tell, the only one based on anyone she knew was the Lost Maiden, the protagonist of the story she told... And yet, she had come to tell of the exploits of most of the other characters in such great detail that one could've sworn she had known them in real life.

"Well, I guess a little recap couldn't hurt too badly... Ok so back before the Maiden traveled to the Underworld, there was to be a celebration of sorts. You know, for the music festival that the Maiden and her companions had taken part in..."

'Perhaps it's all just wish fulfillment...' Yuna thought as she recounted the exploits of the heroes in her story.

After all, she never really had many friends growing up... Of course that just led her to wonder why none of her friends that WERE around never seemed to play a role in the story... The only other character who may have been based on someone she really knew was the Maiden's foolish, but loyal feline companion. The family cat, affectionately called Goyle, was a mischievous thing, after all... But yet, it didn't feel right to call the cat a parallel to the character. Something Yuna just couldn't place.

"Oh! So that's why they aren't there right now... I'm sure the Maiden is really sad about that, huh?" Kevin asked, his bright eyes shining in the dim bedroom.

"I think she would be, yeah," Yuna replied. "Especially with her companion being taken away from her on top of it all! You know, she loves all of her friends very much... I know I'd be very upset if I were in her shoes..."

Five years ago, Yuna ran away from home.

On one of the few nights she had spent in those dark, eerie woods, Yuna had had the strangest dream. She didn't remember much of it, if any of it at all, but when she woke up, it was as though she had wasted the last year or so in a slump. It caused something in her to click, and she ran home immediately, sobbing in apology to her mother who had been beside herself with worry.

The only part she did remember, though, was a part when she fought a ferocious beast alongside some strange hooded figures who all seemed to know her by name.

The oddest part, though, was not that she did not remember such a fantastic dream, nor was it the part she did recall, but rather that she woke up with a polaroid that she couldn't remember taking...

In fact, before that morning, Yuna had never had an interest in photography in the slightest. For the past five years, that strange picture hung precariously above her desk, the origin forever unknown.

Sometimes, the faces in the photo haunted her... Familiar, friendly, but somehow no one she knew.

Perhaps they were the faces of her heroes? That's what she wanted to think, at least, and that was the way she told the story as well.

None of them had names, at least, not that Yuna could recall, but she couldn't help but feel an inexplicable connection to some of the boys in the photo.

Her favorites were the two positioned front and center in the picture, those who would be the closest to the photographer.

They were just two teenage boys, likely the same age Yuna would have been at the time she found the photo, and yet their appearances struck her as distinct compared to the peers she had grown up with.

One of them was lanky and a bit muscular, with a head of midnight blue hair, or maybe it was black and just looked that way in the light. The boy's striking blue eyes were something that always drew Yuna's attention and she couldn't help but wonder what the young man behind the photograph was like... She decided, though, that he seemed kind, but was probably not all that bright. In the end, when she began her story, the blue-haired boy was designated as "The Loyal Spadesman", on account of the fact that he had a spade painted by his right eye.

The other was a bit shorter and broader than the first, with a shock of red hair and a pair of eyes to match, perpetually gleaming with mischief. His ruby gaze was locked straight towards the camera, a playful grin etched across his face in a way that it made Yuna almost feel nostalgic, despite not remembering anyone with such a look. He had a large red heart painted by his left eye, opposite to the Spadesman, and Yuna had deemed him "The Ace", though she wasn't quite sure where the name had come from, compared to the other.

"I know I'd be upset if I were the Maiden..." Kevin mumbled. "I mean... She was so happy with her friends and then they got beat up real badly right in front of her! And then she felt so sad about it and went with the weird hunter guy and the squirrel Guy"

Yuna laughed softly.

"'Squirrel'? I think you mean 'Squire', right?"

"Yeah him!"

"Maybe it's for the best that you're not the Maiden, hehe. I think the Squire would be quite peeved if you called him a Squirrel. He never seemed like- no... He doesn't seem like one for being compared to things that are cute like that"

"Hmmm... Maybe! But I dunno... Oh yeah!!! They were in the under place!"

"Ok, the Underworld, right. So in the Underworld, there were these three spears that secretly belonged to Zeus, and the Maiden's team and the other groups of heroes that were there had set out to find them, since they were the only thing that could stop the Brothers..."

It was sad, sometimes.

Yuna would never admit it, but every once in a while, she would catch herself off guard while she told the story, and a pang of guilt would flow through her, like she was somehow forgetting something important.

Sure "The Maiden" was simply a recreation of herself into this setting, but she couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was some kind of other world- a world where this version of herself truly existed.

Maybe she was friends with the different heroes in the story.

Maybe she would tell stories like this with a grand smile and a flourish, but to heroes from another land instead of her baby brother.

Maybe she could look at that photograph pinned precariously on her wall and recite the names of every single boy in the picture and tell you everything you needed to know about them.

"And so, the Prince, the Archer, the Squire, and the Maiden all drew upon their strength and aimed the spear at the titan before them and let it fire freely, felling the monstrous creature and opening the path towards the Brothers of the River Styx, so that the group could save the Maiden's Companion and stop the Brothers once and for all..."

It was a nice thought, but ultimately pointless. She was never really one to stand out in a crowd, nor was she ever really popular with anyone in general, let alone such a large group of boys.

She still wondered, though, if whoever the people in the photo were would be proud of her, but would quickly shake away the thought.

"Aww... You're gonna leave it like that?! But I wanna know if she actually saves her friend or not!" Kevin pouted, as Yuna stood up and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Maybe we'll find out what happens to the Maiden tomorrow night," She reassured him, "but for now, I think it's time you get some sleep, ok kiddo?"

"But I'm not tired," Kevin said, stifling a yawn as Yuna carefully tucked him in. "I can still... Listen..." He mumbled as Yuna moved to flip off the light switch.

"Don't worry, Kev. I'll make sure that you learn everything you wanna know soon, ok?"

"...ok.. gnight Yuyu..."

"Goodnight, Kevin. Sweet dreams." She said quietly as she closed the door behind her.

It was a foolish notion. It would mean those people had to have somehow known who she was, but she knew that couldn't have ever been the case.

After all, Yuna Sid was a total nobody, and that was to be her defining legacy. A young maiden, forever lost to all but the few who knew her.

[9w1ft]

lord you made me feel importunt..

so basically… i feel like taylor is singing from karlie’s perspective in WCS. and i think she is addressing two people— taylor and josh.

i imagine this song as the culmination of a lot of arguments and negotiations between the three of them over the years about how to proceed with things. i think it’s not too wild to imagine that karlie has been caught in the middle of the two of them a lot, in terms of emotional labor. i don’t have a specific time pinpointed for this song but maybe it is the “night i nearly lost you” that taylor talks about in the great war. it was karlie finally reaching her boiling point, and airing her grievances at both of them.

judging by interviews and karlie’s overall persona and demeanor, i think that karlie is the type of person who puts others before herself, and doesn’t easily let things get to her. so i imagine that when she does get angry enough to raise her voice, that it’s very jarring and would stick with you.

here is a selection of lines that i draw parallels with, which, in aggregate, make me think wcs fits more in the kaylor narrative than anything about jm:

years of tearing down our banners // tore our banners down took the battle underground

living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts // i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired

if i never blushed, then they could've never whispered about this // they whisper in the hallway, "she's a bad, bad girl"

if you never touched me, i would've gone along with the righteous // touch me and you’ll never be alone

and if i was some paint, did it splatter on a promising grown man? // you paint dreamscapes on the wall

i keep on waiting for a sign // you never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs)

stained glass windows in my mind, i regret you all the time // you say what a mind, this happens all the time

i miss who i used to be // remind her how it used to be

the tomb won’t close // spineless in my tomb of silence

memories feel like weapons // we can plant a memory garden

some other small points are..

i think she sings with a certain tone to her voice that reminds me of karlie. her emphasis on the word “important” reminds me of how karlie famously pronounces that word funnily, and there are a few expressions that remind me of how people in the midwest/southern united states speak “damn sure never would’ve” “but lord you made me feel” “god’s honest truth” “god rest my soul” etc

plus, karlie was introduced to josh at 19 years old so. there’s that parallel too.

so given these things i think the first verses might be addressed to josh and the second verse to taylor and maybe the third is to both of them. “if clarity’s in death than why won’t this die? years of tearing down our banners you and i” at her and “living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts give me back my girlhood it was mine first” at him

and a sidenote: following a similar framework i actually think it’s possible that illicit affairs is also from karlie’s perspective directed at the two of them.. “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby”

i also think it’s sort of important that both of them are older than karlie, in terms of the dynamics. i feel like maybe it had made karlie feel like a toy or pawn or not listened to… or that the way they talked about what karlie should do—their style of communication when risk assessing—might have felt too clinical at times. the muse as object. and over time, perhaps she looked back and wondered, was this right? should i have gone along with everything like i did? or was it just what i grew up knowing?

listening to the song this way makes me incredibly emotional.. getting so close to being together publicly indefinitely, all the praise and centering of karlie as the hero and centerfold of taylor’s life during 1989 era, only for the backtracking and erasing. one might also say we were starting to get flickers of this with early lover era. years of tearing down banners.

so yeah… and, we count renegade as written from her lover’s perspective because of the tn tweet,

so i think it’s not that far out to assume she wrote other songs with karlie’s perspective too

just this idea of taylor taking the time to explore her muse’s perspective.

so yeah, this is my thought.

[dangerously-human]

Ohhh. Idk if my third eye has been opened or I'm reading too much into this (isn't that always the way), or maybe this was just extremely obvious to everyone else so no one else thought to mention it - but the way Robert Cooke's ghost interacts with Lucy on the Wintergarden staircase really is a perversion of what she's looking for from Lockwood at this point in time, isn't it?

Right before the final manifestation, as Lucy's getting grumpier by the second about Lockwood including Holly too much at the same time as he's kept so many secrets from her, she's musing about how losing Jessica might have impacted his approach toward their jobs, and wondering what it would take for him to really let her in. She observed that Lockwood's approach to ghosts - his approach to emotions, as a parallel that was finally obvious to me on this third read - is always Eradicate the ghost. Don't engage with it. Destroy it. - as in, eradicate the feelings, don't engage with them, destroy them. The emotional safety switch cranked up to eleven.

And then Lucy, misguided, overly compassionate at her own risk, tries to rescue this ghost without considering her own boundaries or limits: But the thing about animals [other people's feelings, or one particularly reticent boy] was, you could tame them. You just had to prove they could trust you. I moved closer, holding out my hand. The whole thing in this interaction is that she can't see the ghost as it really is because she's bringing all these preconceived notions to the table and coming into it with something of a savior complex. Sound familiar?

And she's so desperate to hear the truth, to hear what the ghost - Lockwood - needs; she's thrilled when she seems to be on the verge of accomplishing it, and irritated when Holly and George interrupt. The ghost keeps smiling at Lucy (her obsession with Lockwood's smile - this is what triggered the comparison to me), and it sounds just like Lucy silently begging Lockwood to open up to her after every crumb he gives her: The ghost was smiling at me. If I could just get it to speak again...

Then you've got sort of the reverse of the Hollow Boy going on, as death grows too powerful beside life: And how watery and hesitant my smile was beside the boy's grin. And then, turns out they got it wrong - ack! terror! - but Lucy hears from this ghost a twisted version of what she desperately wants to hear from Lockwood:

Lucy needs to know Lockwood needs her, wants to hear him admit it. (She's not anywhere near ready yet to accept that he wants her; she has some work to do first, untangling all those internalized messages.) She could help him, understand him, if he lets her in - but right now that would be a threat to both of them, in one way or another. I think, to Lockwood, this would be confirmation that he can't open up to Lucy that way - not that he's consciously making the connection, of course, but I still stand by this being the moment he realizes he's in love with her, either when he races up the stairs to save her or when he wakes up after, and for as much as he was shutting Lucy out before, he really starts distancing himself now. And for Lucy, this is when she starts to realize she can't have a life with Lockwood in halves, unfortunately right as he's determined not to need her because of everything her Talent - their emotions - could open them both up to.

Then back to the comparisons with the Hollow Boy coming later, as Lockwood launches a dashing rescue, parallel complete with one half of the pair concussed, even. So I guess that makes two false premonitions/versions of himself he destroys for Lucy in this book (before he gets around to besting the real hollow version of himself for her, but that comes later).

I dunno, I started this post thinking maybe I was adding symbolism where there was none intended, but now I've done a pretty good job convincing myself this is yet another example of intensely brilliant writing from Mr. Stroud that further reveals itself on every reread, my goodness.

[lipslikethegardensofbabylon]

#ttpd analysis day twelve - loml

when i first listened through TTPD this gave me such strong track 5 vibes so for that reason it’s an honorary track 5 in my mind

there are a couple of thoughts on the lowercase loml - i keep these longings locked in lowercase could be one, but one thing that sticks out to me throughought the whole album is we never see any muse directly saying to the narrator “I love you”. to say ‘you’re the love of my life’ is sort of a roundabout way of saying it, but it carrieds less weight, like saying “I got love for you” vs “I love you”. the latter means more. it’s also interesting to note given that the opening track says repeatedly “I love you, it’s ruining my life"

there are salient Dancing With Our Hands Tied parallels -

who’s gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway/we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied

when your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes/deep blue, but you painted me golden

stitching “we were just kids, babe”/25 years old, how were you to know?

our field of dreams engulfed in fire/swaying as the room burned down

what we thought was for all time was temporary/could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets

if you know it in one glimpse, it’s legendary/first sight, yeah we love without reason

I know that pulling parallels from DWOHT/rep may ruffle some feathers but she also says a conman sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme which directly pulls from Why She Disappeared - wary of phone calls and promises, charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes.

the never quite buried line immediately made me think of the 1, in my defense, I have none for digging up the grave another time .basically that the narrator can't fully separate themselves from this destructive force, and it shows that they've tried, repeatedly, historically.

along with the 1, there are other lyrics from folkmore that are very reminiscent of loml -

I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed/eyes full of stars (cowboy like me)

I felt aglow like this/your touch brought forth an incandescent glow (ivy)

if you know it in one glimpse, it’s legendary/it’s born from just one single glance...you said I’m the love of your life about a million times/but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times (illicit affairs)

when your impressionist paintings of Heaven turned out to be fakes/ you paint dreamscapes on the wall (peace)

our field of dreams, engulfed in fire/my barren land, I am ash from your fire (hoax)

talking rings and talking cradles/your mom's ring in your pocket… dancing phantoms on the terrace/left you out there standing crestfallen on the landing (champagne problems)

the other line that i love is and all at once, the ink bleeds. it makes me think of two things:

in that Directors interview she talked about how having something poignant happen to you is great for creative work but if you write about it too soon/without processing it fully, you can lose perspective. so it makes me think of that, but with the sharp pen, thin skin, and open heart.

[acourtofthought]

Just saw an elriel romanizing self harm all because an artist drew some scars on Elain's hand, I just fucking can't with these people, Azriels scars come from trauma, he didn't ask for them and we don't know if she implied his scars OR siphons were beautiful, I love how Elriels insist it's his scars where the text leaves it vague, but can't argue with them since they believe in fanon over canon but regardless it's weird AF to think because Elain has some knicks and cuts that heal now that she's fea from gardening, that it's some weird AF parallel to Az. How little do they think of Sarah??

Sarah may use trauma for plot devices but I really doubt she never make light of self harming on Elains character all for a male character like get the fuck out here with that shit. They have lost all common sense.

First I agree that it's problematic that anyone would romanticize something like self-harm. To think that it's special that Elain would try to mimic what happened to Azriel as a young boy in order to feel closer to him is problematic (this from the group who claims we're the ones using Elain only as a plot device for Lucien's healing).

And you're right, they have convinced themselves that it's fact that Elain called his scars beautiful when the text says, "I couldn't tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or scarred skin."

If you see someone with scars are you going to draw attention to them when you have zero clue whether there's a story behind them that could make the person uncomfortable or self-conscious?

When presented with a shiny blue object versus something that one would imagine might be a topic of discomfort for someone, which was the most likely subject of Elain's compliment? I don't think Elain is shallow and I don't think she'd care about anyone's scars but I truly don't believe she was addressing Azriel's considering she's kind (in canon) and most likely would not draw attention to them without knowing whether it's a subject he wanted someone to draw attention to.

Also....this is yet another example of people failing to follow the progression of the story. On Solstice, Feyre is left wondering why Elain sets aside Lucien's gloves so she comes up with a theory in her mind. Theories are not evidence of anything, they are not proof of anything and this particular theory is debunked in the Feyre bonus of SF when we're told the following:

"And torn up by thorns," I mused, recalling a morning this past summer when Elain had come into the house, her right palm bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. The thorns had broken off in her skin, leaving sharp splinters that I'd had to pull free."

If Elain was choosing to self harm then why is she wearing any gloves? Yes, she's still choosing to not wear Lucien's gloves because she's currently avoiding her bond (and all that which comes along with it including gifts from Lucien) but gloves of any sort (even the non magical kind) are meant to protect your hands. If you Google "Why are gloves important while gardening" the answer that comes back is to "reduce the risk of injury and of opening the door to certain dangerous pathogens."

Elain wore gloves in book 1. Feyre told Lucien how Elain wore gloves in ACOWAR and we see once again that Elain is wearing gloves in SF.

She is not self-harming and she continues wearing gloves as she always has, there has been no change from being human to fae in her gardening habits. She wore non magical gloves before ever meeting Azriel so it's clear the entire debate over Lucien's gloves has NOTHING to do with Azriel. She is specifically not using Lucien's gift because it's a gift from her mate and she's ignoring her mate just as Nesta refused gifts from and ignored her mate at one time.