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emotionallyits2009 · 4 years ago

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deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :)

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010.

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on.

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

#fic #deancas #destiel

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 3 years ago

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Dead Man’s Cell Phone--Prologue

Summary: When Emma Swan starts getting phone calls and texts from an unfamiliar number, she decides to check it out--only to discover the number belongs to a Killian Jones, who was killed in a robbery gone wrong six months ago. With some help from a medium, Merlin Emrys, Emma hopes to find out why a dead guy is contacting her--and why she feels such a strong pull to someone she has never met before.

Rating: K+

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 Epilogue

Welcome to my entry for the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer! A big thank you to @cssns, the ladies on the Discord! Thank you also to @eastwesthomeisbest, my artist and my beta @veryverynotgood!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Killian Jones took a deep breath, noting the salty tang of the sea breeze. The scent brought him comfort, a balm to his wounded soul. Some of his most treasured memories involved holidays to the sea with his mum. He remembered something his mum said to him on one such holiday ages and ages ago when he was naught but a tiny lad of four or five.

“You feel things so deeply, Killian,” she’d said, stroking his hair. “When you love, you love with your entire being. It’s a beautiful thing, and those you love are lucky indeed, but be careful. There will be heartache in your future, and when you lose someone you love, I fear it will hit you harder than most.”

He’d learned the truth of her statement less than a year later when she had succumbed to a fast moving, particularly virulent form of cancer. He’d been inconsolable for weeks, unable to understand why his mum had left him.

But life had gone on, and like many children, he’d proven to be resilient, turning to his older brother, his hero, Liam for help and support. He thanked the gods every day that Liam had never left him--either willingly like his deadbeat father or through death like his mother.

Love was rather rare in Killian’s life. He’d taken his mother’s words to heart, only giving his heart when he felt it was in safe keeping.

That was, until he met Milah.

She was beautiful, vibrant, full of life--and unfortunately quite married. Liam had warned him against getting involved with a woman who wasn’t free to give him her heart, but Killian was snared before he even fully understood what was happening. He had fallen hard and he had fallen fast, and he found he was helpless to resist the gorgeous woman who had captured his heart.

They were happy for a few months, so happy that they’d begun discussing forever. Milah had sworn she’d leave her husband, that she wanted to be with him. Killian had begun shopping for rings.

And then, as suddenly as it began, it all went to hell. She’d come to meet him one night looking as grave and uncomfortable as he’d ever seen her.

“Killian, I do love you,” she said, “but what we discussed in the past, I think we’ve always known they’re pipe dreams. Robert’s my husband, the father of my son. We were meant to be. I’m sorry, but I have to end this now. Robert got a new job across the country, and we both think it’s the perfect opportunity for us to make a go at this, to start fresh. I’m sorry, but this is goodbye.”

It hit him hard, so hard it felt like there was a physical weight on his chest. How did one pick up the pieces of their heart when it had been shattered into a fine powder? Liam had tried to be supportive, he really had, but Killian had known it was always on the tip of his tongue to tell Killian “I told you so.”

After a couple months of misery, Killian decided he’d had enough. He needed a change, even if it was no more than a few weeks’ vacation. And so he’d packed up and taken the first flight he could arrange from his home in England to the States. He’d rented a car and simply begun driving, deciding not to stop until he found somewhere that might offer him peace.

He found it in the small, quaintly named seaside town of Storybrooke, Maine. There was such a magical feel about this berg. It was a place he could perhaps run into that peace he’d been sadly lacking since…

Killian stopped abruptly as he collided with something, someone in front of him. He heard a swift, harsh, feminine curse, and looked up to find himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen - riotous blonde curls pulled up into a high ponytail, green eyes, currently narrowed in anger, a red leather jacket over a white tank top. Her jeans were so tight to her slim figure they looked painted on.

For a long moment, Killian could do nothing but stare, open-mouthed at the vision before him, so gobsmacked he could barely remember his own name.

The woman growled in frustration as she looked down at the grocery bag she’d dropped upon impact. “Seriously?” she asked. “You’re just gonna stand there like an idiot?”

Killian shook his head as he came back to himself, his cheeks reddening at his rudeness. “My apologies, love,” he said, stooping down to gather up the spilled contents of her bag. “It appears I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“You think?” she retorted with a roll of her eyes.

For a moment the two worked together while Killian desperately wracked his addled brain for something--anything--to say that might allow him to remain in this woman’s presence longer, but he was coming up blank.

“Well….thanks for your help,” she said finally, when the groceries were back in their bag.

“Thanks for letting me help,” he replied rather lamely.

“Yeah, well maybe next time you might pay a little more attention and avoid this kind of situation altogether,” she suggested as she pushed past him and quickly disappeared from his sight.

She might have disappeared from his sight, but she most assuredly did not disappear from his mind. Thoughts of the beautiful blonde followed him through the streets of Storybrooke as he made his way closer and closer to the beach.

So consumed was he with his chance encounter that he didn’t even realize he’d wandered into a seedy part of town until he heard the sounds around him.

The sounds of an altercation.

Killian looked up to see several big, burly men brutally beating a man with black hair and blue eyes. The man fought valiantly, but it was at least six to one. He didn’t stand a chance. Killian fished his cell phone from his pocket, intending to call the authorities, get some help, but he knew the victim before him didn’t have time to wait for police to arrive.

Killian had to intervene.

He charged into the fray, pulling first one, and then another ruffian from the man being beaten, but his efforts seemed to have no effect on the attackers.

No effect, that is, save to divert some of their wrath toward him. Killian grunted as the first blow landed on the side of his head, and he dropped his phone to the ground. He fought back with everything in him, pleased to note he’d gotten in a fair few punches of his own, but it soon became obvious that he was hopelessly outmanned.

Sometimes retreat was one’s only option.

Killian turned, hoping to find help for himself and for the other victim, but he’d only made it a few steps when he felt a sharp pain to the back of his head...and then everything went black.

Notes:

--Hi there and welcome to my story for the 2021 CSSNS! This story was kind of inspired by an experience I had. Most of the time if I get a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, I just let it go to voicemail, figuring if they really want to talk to me, they’ll leave a message (and if they’re a telemarketer...they won’t). One day I got a message from an unknown number, and they did leave a message. The message was basically nothing but dead air. For some reason, I decided to try to find out who the number belonged to, and I came to find out the number belonged to someone who had died six months ago. Now logically, that probably means someone else has the dead guy’s cell phone now, but it brought up the possibility of a new story. What if Emma got a phone call from Killian Jones, who she finds out died several months ago...and it isn’t a mistake? Thus this story was born.

--This story has 4 chapters plus this prologue and epilogue, and the good thing is that it’s already completely written. This means I can set (and stick to) a posting schedule! I plan to update this story every Wednesday and Sunday until it’s finished.

--Up next: Emma gets a strange phone call from an unknown number. What she finds out about it leads her on a journey that will completely change her life.

Next Chapter-->

#cssns #captain swan supernatural summer #cssns21 #my fanfiction #cs ghost story au #dead man's cell phone

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anniesardors · 4 years ago

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All stories can be found on Fanfiction or AO3 under the name anniesardors

Upstead Multichapter Stories

All My Holidays

A series of one-shots following Jay and Hailey’s developing relationship through a year’s worth of holidays

From the Beginning

When an injury at work leaves Hailey with retrograde amnesia, she has no recollection of Jay or their relationship. It's up to Jay to remind her who he is and help her fall in love with him all over again.

Haunted

The thing about soulmates is you don’t always know they are your soulmate. Sometimes, they are just a stranger who keeps popping back up in your life.

Series spotify playlist found here

that’s another story

a series of upstead family oneshots set after the final chapter of "All My Holidays"

i'm yours, sincerely me

Jay meets a stranger while he is back on military leave and he decides to take a leap of faith with her.

Series spotify playlist found here

polaroids of us

a series of missing moment one-shots from my multi-chapter fic Haunted

one more song

With one glance at her, Jay thinks she must be the type of girl people write songs about. Strong and powerful and mysterious, with bright blue eyes that leave him wanting more.

He wonders if she's the type of girl he could write a song about.

Series spotify playlist found here

a love bigger than the ocean

9 major moments from Jay and Hailey’s relationship in a world where Mama Halstead is still alive

Two Shots

Netflix Trip

Jay and Hailey have their thing: They talk about the case, they drink a couple of beers and they watch some Netflix. But as the episodes of the show progress, so does their relationship.

Rely on You

Missing scenes from 8x06 and 8x07 where Hailey worries about Jay

inches apart (and even closer in heart)

The water is out at your apartment so I invited you to stay at mine but my couch is crappy so now we are sharing a bed and by the way I think I love you // forced bedsharing fic

salvation in the form of your grace

Hailey would let Jay wreck her time and time again. But what she won’t let him do is wreck their child // A rewrite of Season 10

One Shots

The Set Up

When Jay and Hailey are stood up by their friends at the annual winter festival, they decided to enjoy themselves with some ice skating and winter festivities. Heavy flirting and fluff ensues.

Permanent Ink

Jay hates when he and Hailey have to take off their wedding rings for work, so he makes an unexpected suggestion: matching wedding band tattoos.

Ask that Pretty Girl to Dance

AKA: The five times Jay asks Hailey to dance and the one time he doesn't

Something New

Just a little post 8x03 speculation fic of what happens after the Upstead bar scene and what happens during 8x04.

Love is a Ghost

Post 8x04 one-shot where Hailey finally confides in Jay about what happened at the hospital

Smiling at the Unknown

Missing scene from 8x05: Jay and Hailey talk about Kim fostering Mikayla and their own thoughts about children in the future.

Something ‘bout a Truck

After Jay’s truck gets totaled in an accident, Jay and Hailey go car shopping for a replacement, but not without hitting a bump in the road

I Fall in Love with You Every Single Day

AKA: The five times Jay thinks he loves Hailey and the one time he knows

Full Circle

After two years of dating, Jay takes Hailey back to the same bar where it all began with one plan in mind: asking her to marry him

Friends Don’t

When Hailey goes out with another guy, Jay finds himself drinking away his pain at Molly's. After a heart to heart with Will, Jay comes to the realization that he and Hailey do a lot of things that friends don't.

All I Need is Your Crazy Love

Hailey asks Jay what is on his bucket list, but the only thing he still wants is a life with her

Feel My Love

It's a strange thing how fast one's world can completely change

Waste My Time

Missing scene from 8x06: A snippet of what happened between Jay and Hailey during those 6 hours in the truck

Crazy Girl

The three times Hailey is jealous of Jay with another girl

Kiss Me Because

Saint Patrick’s Day fic based on the prompt “Kiss Me, I’m Irish”

Healing

Some flirty missing scenes from 8x09 after Cooper punches Jay

Simple Steady Love

Things are real for him and she wants things to be real for her but she has so many fears and no clue how to do this // 8x11 speculation fic

Safe and Sound

Tears sting in her eyes and her brain is pounding, yet, somehow, she thinks this is the safest she has ever felt // post 8x11 missing scene

Shades of You

While he is working undercover, Jay meets a stranger in a club with bright blue eyes and now, she is all he can think of. Only problem is, he doesn’t know her name. // First-meet AU

Darling, I’m with You

Is she ready for everyone to know about their relationship? Is she ready to deal with whatever the repercussions are at work? Is she ready to continue making their personal relationship work when everything is about to change? // 8x14 speculation fic

the dark led me to light again

After Kim goes missing, Jay and Hailey comfort each other and reflect upon their own experiences when the other was kidnapped.

No Strings

For a good thirty hours, the world is gray. She can’t tell up from down and she is terrified everything she loves is about to slip through her fingers. It’s all gray until she wakes up screaming and Jay is looking at her so softly that she finally just breaks // Post 8x16 Fic

Buy You a Rose

AKA: The five times Jay Halstead buys Hailey Upton flowers and the one time he doesn't

you turned into my best life

They spend every day together, small talk in the truck or glancing at each other from across their joined desks, but she is still looking forward to this: to slow kisses with nowhere to be and not having to hide that she loves him more than she can explain. (Or a post 8x11 day-off fic)

you look so good it hurts (in my favorite t-shirt)

"I'm sorry, but is that my shirt?" (Day 1 of upstead appreciation)

for me it’s always you

And maybe a game of truth or dare is a little silly, especially for two elite detectives. But she's bored and he's her best friend. So, if she can make him laugh and learn something new about him, she thinks it will be a night well spent. (Day 2 of Upstead Appreciation)

the one thing I need

Throughout the years she has known Jay, Hailey has never known him to be insecure. But maybe there's something about meeting his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, someone who would have given her such a different life, that has him overthinking things (Day 3 of Upstead Appreciation)

just that simple

“You’re not supposed to call your boyfriend dude.” (Day 4 of Upstead Appreciation)

no better view

After Hailey’s holster breaks, Jay lets her borrow his thigh holster. But, he immediately regrets it when it gets a little hard to focus throughout the day (Day 7 of Upstead Appreciation)

the world got a little more dim

Mouse is gone and Jay is still here and it's not fair.

another place in time (infinitely mine)

This isn't how it's supposed to go. He's not supposed to realize he loves her only to lose her. His last memory of her isn't supposed to be unsaid confessions and her blood on his hands. (or a 6x22 rewrite)

not here for the moment (i'm in this for life)

Hailey’s never known a good thing about love, not before she met Jay. She wonders if, in love, it’s okay to be selfish. If it’s okay to keep secrets to protect the person you love. (9x01 spec fic)

hold my heart (til' it grows old)

Jay did not just show Hailey that good things could happen to her. He was her good thing, her safe thing. And now, he is her forever, her future, her everything. (or...the morning after 9x01 and a conversation about what Jay meant by “I’ve known for years”)

always be loving you

Every little thing about this moment feels like a promise of always. (post 9x09 fic)

put on a record (let's get lost in time)

It's the middle of the night and their daughter is crying, and they are both incredibly tired. But there is Christmas music flooding the apartment and Jay is dancing with his two favorite girls, and everything feels right in the world.

waves can’t wash away the love we know

They said in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy. Jay just didn't think the sickness and the sorrow would come so soon (post 9x13 fic)

sorrow (it feels like rain)

The rain almost feels like a constant in their relationship, just like their thing. TW: Major character death

my idea of heaven (is your hand to hold)

the post 10x03 upstead airport goodbye scene

should’ve taken your picture

And if Jay really thinks about it, there are a thousand pictures of Hailey he wishes he had taken. Pictures of her real smile in real life, not the photos that they have in frames or on Instagram. Photos of her to make him feel a little less lonely with her 800 miles away.

#masterlist #anniesardors writes #upstead #upstead masterlist #upstead fics #chicago pd #hailey upton #jay halstead #Hailey Upton fic #Jay Halstead fic #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #upstead fanfiction

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serenheist · 4 years ago

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What Jennie is like in a relationship/ Relationship with G-Dragon Tarot reading

I know the anon asked for just a love life reading on Jennie but I’m extra and did everything lmao

What is the true nature of Jennie’s relationship with gdragon? Gloominous doom reversed 56, ace of swords, the hanged man reversed, lady of masks, triumph of lies, the glanconer 62 reversed

Oh god lmao. I don’t know why but I get the feeling this “relationship” is just for GD to be back on good terms with the korean general public. He got flack for smoking weed before, seungri shit, abandoning his dog, dating kiko etc etc. I really feel like him dating Jennie is just so the public has a better opinion of him when he decides to have a comeback lmao. Anyway the true nature of this relationship is literally someone full of extreme self pity had an idea to do this because it will make them look better and vice versa. But now there’s a feeling of being trapped. I really think this is an orchestrated relationship that was rushed and not based on actual love but for a specific purpose. But I do think it’s legit in the sense that it’s not that they’re not dating at all. But since Yg didn’t deny anything we can tell it’s “real”. Yg always denies if it’s definitely not a real relationship and always stays vague when it’s real. It’s made to look real for the public to get them talking but the core itself isn’t real. Basically pr shit. idc even if they got married none of this is real lmao.

I pulled 2 more cards from 2 different decks for extra clarification and I got the lady of masks and triumph of lies. You can’t make this up lol. “She reshapes the physical appearance of the souls who seek her out but this change is pure vanity, changing nothing of who they are at the core” it basically reflects who you want to be. This relationship is to make both parties look better lol. I feel that this is also a double meaning geared towards Jennie only because later cards in this reading continuously mention her wearing a mask. Triumph of lies is about keeping up appearances. This relationship is about living up to the expectations that society wants from you. I feel like it’s not just what people in the company want but also could be friends and family who put pressure on making this relationship happen for both. I can really see that since GD has a past of dating mostly models and the public has always been negative about everyone he’s dated except Jennie since she has a better reputation and for her this relationship can boost her status even more dating the king of kpop and being a power couple. I pulled a last card just to ask why you would need to fake a whole relationship even though we already know at this point and it’s redundant but I wanted to see how many times I can get cards saying the same shit. The glanconer 62 reversed: basically AGAIN someone is pretending to be other than they really are. I think both of them even believe in their own lie at this point and idk there’s a level of thinking you’re better than others so it’s okay to fool them anyway. Whatever makes you look good.

Who is Jennie in this/ her shadow aspect: obsession 3, gd: today for tomorrow 32

Since the beginning cards were pretty negative I wanted to dive deeper into Jennie and GD’s shadow aspects. And just use these cards to differentiate between them. GD is today for tomorrow and for Jennie I got obsession. The biggest shadow aspect to Jennie is that she feels as if she needs something whether that be a person, an idea, an object etc to give meaning to her life. She can also become really fixated on things to the point where that is the entire focal point of her life. It numbs her attention to other things.

How does Jennie feel about gd and how does he feel about her? Solus 13, the high priestess, the hierophant, gd: the guardian at the gate 3, queen of wands reversed, the fool

Jennie: Jennie feels that GD is someone who when you don’t know who to turn to or what to do, he is the person who can help you out. He encourages you stand on your own feet and utilize your own wisdom. But he also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he helps you make the right connections with the right people and basically like a mentor position. I feel like they both almost see this connection as something “divine” at least in the beginning they could’ve convinced themselves this was this big divine intervention. But the reality started to set in and Jennie saw a different side of someone who has lost touch and went from being someone to look up to to becoming more “corrupted”. He no longer practices what he preaches, there’s lies mixed in with truth and the lines between right and wrong became more blurred. He does what he can to stay in power.

GD: He feels that Jennie is a new opportunity for a huge change. She’ll help provide an opportunity for him to make a big shift in his life. But at the same time he feels like she’s guarding herself and not being authentic with him. “Wearing masks that do not fit you”. I think he’s seen her change moods often from not figuring out how to release her passion and creativity in a healthy way and become more jealous and wanting to tear down others when she’s feeling down. Cause the queen of wands would be stepping in your power not hiding behind anything and appearing exactly how you are. Reversed it can bring out bring dramatic and feeling out of control of your own life and lack of enthusiasm. I think he’s seen her lose her passion for even being in the industry itself. I think that’s he’s wanting to take a leap of faith into something new I don’t know if he would want to stay in this “relationship” but I’m seeing it more of him going off on his own and stop worrying about the fear of the unknown. Honestly both seem like a hot mess for each other there’s a lot of work they gotta do on themselves separately because this whole connection is weird and toxic.

How long does it take her to get into a relationship? Does she prefer long or short term relationships? Princess of pentacles, 3 of swords, queen of swords 5 of wands reversed, 2 of wands, temperance reversed

She’s always been observant and was careful before in the beginning of relationships but no amount of carefulness can’t prevent heartbreak. It kind of hardened her and she learned how to play the game so to speak. The fact that the queen of swords is holding a severed head tells you all you need to know what happens if you break her heart. She seems burnout with relationships but at the same time can’t stop herself from not being in one because then you’ll be alone with your demons. I think she does prefer long term relationships but Jennie seems to go from one extreme to another. She plans for the long term but she also can’t control her emotions because they’re so intense. She’ll sabotage it and rush into a relationship with someone because she’s already planning this whole future and the other person is like “uhhh we just met..?” I think she builds up a fantasy in her head and gets carried away at times. And that’s where a lot of conflict and arguments arise and the cycle continues.

Past and present relationships. past: firgun 10 magick of you oracle, 2 of pentacles, Present: Euphoria 9, 5 of cups

I hate this word but I feel like in her past relationships she felt like the person she was with was her “twin flame”. This person was her mirror basically, every little thing she was and did was mirrored back to her. It was about learning how to heal the anger and hurt and learn to be happy for others success. But the relationship itself was a constant act of balancing career and love and all the ups and downs. It seems like even in her present love life she is still lingering over past relationships and now hides her actual feelings. There’s a lot of mask imagery in this whole reading. And not seeing everything you already have but being consumed with the thoughts of what went wrong or why it isn’t this way. And no longer sharing your true self fully. Instead there’s an element of not her not taking care of herself physically. Sharing herself intimately with people who treat her like garbage, poor eating, dragging yourself through workouts, excess of toxic substances; these are examples.

What is she like in a relationship? Eternal servitor, 10 of pentacles reversed, the lady of the harvest 18 reversed, the singer of intuition 7

This imagery of a person with no face and a whole in its chest really stands out to me again. It seems that when Jennie is in a relationship she still hides her true self and is constantly on a never ending search to fill something in herself that she feels is lacking. I think she uses money, clothing, love itself as a way to distract herself from this emptiness she feels inside and each time she wants more and more. Like she has to upgrade to the next biggest thing and it traps her in an infinite loop of never being satisfied. Idk but I guess it’s her wanting the world to see her importance; if she has these things then she is now worthy and it gives her a feeling of purpose. It’s not just the pressure of herself needing the best “thing” but a loooot of pressure from family and others to find a “suitable” partner. They need to come from the right background, make this amount of money, etc so her family can show off how wonderful this partner is and how amazing Jennie is doing. Even the next card “the lady of the harvest” reversed speaks of this again. It’s crazy how almost all of the cards are just saying the same thing. It’s about staying in denial and refusing to accept a loss and cling onto pain instead. Jennie is the type of person who thinks “if I can’t have it, no one will”. When she sees something she wants and can’t get it she will go into destruction mode because she feels that it’s the only solution. She’s not a forgive and forget person. A line in this guidebook really stands out to me “if you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.” Pretty much sums up her mentality. Even if she enters a new relationship her mind is consumed by the past and the present relationship is only to save face and show off the image she tries to create to please literally everyone except herself. I think she’s very perceptive and can know someone who she’s with inside and out. She’s also very aware of the image she needs to uphold. There’s pretty much nothing you can hide from her because her intuition is so strong.

What is her "type"? the piper 24, 8 of wands reversed, Ta’Om the poet 29, Arthur

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: she likes musicians. Also the fact that this is legit the only faerie in this 66 card deck playing an instrument so what are the odds. She appreciates someone who pays attention to the subtle expressions of feelings and ideas and can see into her soul basically. It’s communication without words and that makes music that can heal your sorrows and pains. Someone that listens to not just surface level words but to the deeper meaning that can only be heard with your heart. Seductive, someone who looks serious but is actually mischievous and fun.

He encourages you to unfold your wings and fly, do the things you’re afraid to do, stop being silent and speak up, have a youthful spirit and do the thing you’ve been putting off for so long. He has a lust for life, adventure, an excellent storyteller and writing skills and a huge imagination. He has the power to inspire action with just his words. He sees things as they really are and sees beauty in all things even in the darkness and difficulty of life. He doesn’t take life so seriously though he knows how to laugh at himself and knows how silly it is to be sad over hardships in life. He doesn’t care for society’s expectations he’s a free spirit. But at the same time he slows down and knows how to enjoy the journey and not rush by the seat of his pants. He’s someone that’ll stand the test of time and be by her side through thick and thin.

What is her love language? Myk the myomancer 42, the oak men 47, 10 of wands

Idk if this really fits into any of the “official”love languages but her love language is someone seeing the small details, seeing meaning in the little things. So maybe little gifts even that don’t have to be huge but just shows that you’ve paid attention to what she likes as long as it has meaning and is well thought out. When you can’t see the finish line and it looks like it’s impossible to keep going that person is there to have your back. Also someone that sees her for who she truly is in her heart and can look past the superficial hard exterior cause I’m pretty sure it’s just a defense mechanism mixed with the environment she grew up and past relationships and she’s not actually the Antichrist contrary to how negative this reading may seem.

Probably typos but whateves

#kpop tarot #blackpink tarot #blackpink jennie #kpop readings #kpop predictions #kpop #jennie kim #g dragon #free tarot #free tarot readings #kpop tarot reading #blackpink #tarot reading #tarot love #blackpink astrology #tarot cards #oracle cards #kpop astrology #blackpink tarot reading

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aquarii-writes · 4 years ago

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History on repeat(Dream x f!reader)

Ngl this was inspired by a dnf piece on tik tok. While I don't ship it the art was beautiful and the song attached inspired me to write this. This also includes my headcanons for Dream/his parents and I'll elaborate on it in a different post if enough people ask lmao

Notes: I should mention to look at my 'DSMP headcanons' especially Dream's part because that's where I kinda explain that I don't believe that Dream himself is a dreamon but that his mask contains one. I also used Dream's real name as his fathers name. I don't really like using the dsmp members real names if it's not in their user but I had to think of a name

WARNINGS: none I can think of aside from death and stuff of similar manners

WC:1,005

Genre: Angstyy

Two people sat together along the shoreline of a river. The colors of the sunset danced on the water. Turning the already beautiful area ethereal. Warm summer air tickled the woman; her blonde hair jumped with the wind.

"You're so beautiful [REDACTED]" the man spoke. His amber eyes held a love for the woman beside him; his lovely wife. Her green cloak acted as a pillow for her.

"You're too kind my darling" a smile played on the woman's lips. Her mask discarded beside her. The painted smile similar to the one she held.

"I love you with all my heart" a smile danced on the mans face. His lovely wife sat up and hugged him. Falling back into the grass the happy couple basked in one another. Masks long forgotten beside them. "Stay with me forever [REDACTED]?"

"Of course my darling dream" the twos faces were close as the wife spoke. It felt as though time sat there frozen to preserve the lasting moment.

Smiling towards you Dream held out his arms to get you to come towards him. As you got near Dream pulled you on top of him. His arms circling around your waist.

~~~

"Dream~" your voice was loving. Dreams mask was off as he watched you jump in the stream water. The sun was setting over the horizon and the light gave an other worldly glow to you and the water.

Playing with the locks of hair that fell into your grasp, Dream watched you. A deep seeded longing in his eyes. Out here away from everything was when Dream was the most caring. His affections unrestricted when he wasn't in the eyes of his friends. When he could easily sneak away.

Though the future had many plans for the two of you, but here in this moment the future could wait.

"I would do anything for you (y/n)" Dream's amber eyes looked like the sun. Specks of gold shined like they were directly in the sun. Nodding to his statement you kissed the man before you. An adoring hum escaped him.

Pulling away you mumbled out a response. "I love you with all my heart~"

"Will you stay with me forever?" with a teasing smile Dream rubbed your sides: tickling you along the way.

"Of course my darling Dream" an unknown feeling of deja vu came over the two. Seems as though something similar happened in the past.

~~~

"My dream!!' [REDACTED] screamed for her husband. "Don't take him away! Please!," the woman covered her small sons ears. The child didn't know what was happening. huddling into his mother arms the woman kept screaming for her husband.

Huddled under her cloak the small boy held a hand over his mother stomach and whispered to it. The boys father struggled against the men who held him away from his family. "CLAY! LET HIM GO! He didn't mean it.." [REDACTED] dropped to the ground crying. Her son hugging his mother. "Oh my baby Dream"

Dream's mother held onto him for dear life. Tears fell from his eyes as he watched his father get taken to the gallows. As a final goodbye his father threw towards them.

Crawling away from his mother, Dream grabbed the mask; his fathers mask. The plastic was cracked in a few placed, and some of the paint was chipped, but it was probably the last thing he would ever have of his fathers.

"Please just let my husband go" [REDACTED]'s mask was similarly painted though the tears the spilt from under it spoke another story. "It was the Dreamons who did it.. not my Clay.. not my lovely dreamer.." her whimpers drew her son back over to her.

"Mommy what's happening to daddy?" Dream wouldn't get an answer from her. Just wails and whimpers about how cruel the world was.

~~~

"Dream what did you do..," Tommy and Tubbo huddled behind you. A fearful look settled in your eyes. Dream's mask was just that, a mask. Behind it he held no remorse for what he had done and what he said.

He did plan on killing Tubbo, but the look in your eyes made his thoughts stutter. Should he not kill Tubbo? When Dream said he doesn't care about anyone it planted a seed in your heart. Did he really not love you anymore?

Dream didn't answer you. All he did was stare at you through the mask. "Take off your damn mask and answer me Dream" when your voice jumped at him all Dream could do was stare. He didn't talk and he didn't react. "Why aren't you answering me?! Dream WHY did you do it?!"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Like hell you didn't mean to!" your tone was sharp. It made the boys behind you move back as you came forward to hold Dream's face. This felt too familiar. Why does it feel so familiar?

Knitted brows went unnoticed behind the mask. His annoyed expression hidden to the world; to you. His everything. Before he lost it he wanted to marry you. He even joked about you being his wife. His darling wife.

"Do you not care about me anymore? After everything that's happened between us?" a certain sadness pushed your pain to him. It was the same sorrow his mother screamed from the top of her lungs. That's why it felt so familiar.

A desolate look decorated your (e/c) eyes. The same eyes he would've fought wars so see happy. The very eyes he believed he would love forever.

"It's not my fault- sweetheart it's not my fault" his words became more rushed as Sam pulled Dream away. Dragging him to Pandora's Vault. All the way to his box.

The misery and heartache Dream saw on your face reminded him of his mother. The heartbreak he never wanted to see again.

~~~

{REDACTED] held a baby in her arms as she watched her son play on the hill with her friends son. The baby girl in her arms slept peacefully as she spoke to her friend beside her.

Puffy had been a good friend of [REDACTED] for a long time now. "Puffy you have to promise me something"

"Anything [REDACTED]" Puffy watched the baby in her friends arms. The poor thing had been born months after her fathers hanging. The family had to go into hiding.

"Please after tonight take my babies with you.... I don't think I can carry on much longer with out my Clay.." despair was the only way Puffy could describe her once vibrant friend.

The woman's once vibrant green eyes now only held melancholy. The satchel that sat beside her only contained a few things; one thing being Clay's mask.

"Dream my beloved!" [REDACTED] called out for her boy. The mask that once adorned her face constantly had been vacant since her husband died.

Running up to his momma Dream reached out to hold his baby sister. Passing baby Drista [REDACTED] kissed her sons head before pulling something from her satchel.

"Dream listen to me. The world is a cruel and it will hurt you-" holding out Clay's mask to her son said everything to the small boy. Giving baby Drista to Puffy, Dream took his fathers mask away from his mother. "Wear this.. it was your fathers..," a sadistic smile rested on his mothers face.

It scared him, but it was the first smile he saw from her since his father died.

"Okay mommy" Dream slipped on the mask his father once wore and winced. It felt like strings were licking his face. It felt wrong. This wasn't his mask to be keeping was it?

~~~

The prison vault was deafening. Nothing was a really annoying sound when all that surrounded you was lava and crying obsidian. Though he had one thing to look forward to.

You promised to see him today. His lovely wife. Well you weren't married. He fucked up that chance when he lost himself to the mask. The dreamons that whispered to him constantly.

Ever since he came in here the whispers stopped. Except for when they speak about you.

The pistoning sound of the bridge coming brought Dream from his head. A sadistic smile grew on him. Throwing off the mask the threads retreated back into the plastic.

"(y/n) my beloved!" a crazed look adorned Dream's face as he looked at you. His beloved wife. "I love you so much~"

"Dream.." with a heavy heart you held Dream's face. His eyes held a look of longing love.

"Dream love.. listen to me. The world is cruel.. and it's going to hurt," your voice cracked as you held Dream's hands. Worry filled him as Dream dragged you towards him.

Pushing back Dream dug around in the chest of his room. A ring sat gently between his fingers.

"Wear this... it'll protect you.." a hopeful look held on to Dream's face. All his love and adoration for you.

"I'm sorry Dream.. I love you so much but maybe it's better if we split ways.... I.. why do I trust you so much? Your hands are scarred with murder, but I trust them completely.." crumpling to the ground you sobbed. Conflictions and pain battering against you for weeks.

Dream held you. He had seen this all before. History was repeating. He witnessed this happen between his parents. The very thing he never wanted to happen to him did. He's losing the love of his life.

Why does history have to repeat?

#mcyt imagine #dsmp imagine #dreamwastaken #dream smp #dream x reader #dream imagine

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venusinaquariusgirl · 2 years ago

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Journey of the SP Neville Goddard

My journey of the SP has been a real wild ride. Where do I begin? From the beginning I guess. This might be a bit of a mixture of times and dimensions, but remember there is no such thing as time but the here and now. Right now I realise it is not anything personal between me and him, but between me and me. The more I realise this, the more I see it is about me and the guy is just a reflection of and my thoughts, feelings and assumptions of what I deserve. Everyone is a mirror, everyone is me pushed out. When I have fear and doubt so does he instantly.

For years, I attracted men who got close to me and then decidedI wasn't the one. It was an excruciating pain, where for weeks and months it would take me so long to get over the shock, the heart ache and the confusion. Plus my repetitive thought patterns and spiralling I would really hit rock Botton emotionally.. This kept repeating it self until it became so much when I realised I was the one creating it through the Law of Assumption. I have been following Law of Attraction but Law of Assumption is on another level and my internal world has shifted so much. The best thing in the wold dis the knowing we are not controlled by an unknown force but our minds are really in control Just knowing we are the gods of our reality is so powerful. We are method actors in real life. Who do you want to be? Well become it, act it out, feel it.

So where do I start, 2020 I was in a long distance relationship with a man in NY (SP 1), and it was a roller coaster, he was not on any social media but I would research the f*ck out of him. He was indeed not an honest man but for some reason I wanted to be with him. I didn't even want to be with him but I wanted to be wanted and for him to choose me. Because he was so inconsistent and once in a while he would call/message me if was like getting a high. The lows were awful, crying, obsessing, being in total shock and then doing a 40 day Kundalini meditation to get over the shock. It was painful but at the same time I knew he was helping me fix my self. Through the ending of this situationship, I go to a point where I needed help, because when you seek help the Universe helps you. Take action. I reached out to 'Create Your Future' and got email coaching. This was the beginning, I read Neville Goddard's massive big blue book, the collection of his books, lectures and talks. I read it twice, it was such a huge book, at least one person would always ask me what I was reading whenever I lugged the book around. II had to get better, I just had to. During this time I ended up meeting another guy, a billionaire (SP 2) who lived in a penthouse in the city. NY guy was fading away and was now messaging me asking me when I was coming to NY. I was no longer interested. Through email coaching I was writing affirmations daily. But I still carried my fears and transferred it on to the Billionaire. I have to tell you it was more platonic, never physical because I wasn't attracted to him and it didn't feel right. Billionaire guy just wanted to sleep with me, I didn't lead him on or anything I enjoyed his company and the conversations but we were so different in so many ways also he was determined not to get married. Also marrying him made no sense, I will tell you later. The Billionaire decided he didn't want to see me again because I wouldn't sleep with him and said he wanted to be friends. I was heart broken not going to lie, even though I didn't like him, I wanted the attention. I was really down for a couple a month of 2, I would also research him and check his following on social media, it was crazy looking back, like why? Because I didn't like him, it was just having someone give me attention. This is the thing about rewiring and programming the brain and being gentle with yourself. I have some issues and I have to be compassionate with myself. I wanted to attract him back but it was hard because he deleted me and I felt like I was repeating the affirmations out of desperation and not pleasure. I was really low. So let's go to SP 3, we were friends for a while and then he started to flirt with me, maybe a month or 2 after the ending of SP2, so these affirmations were expanding to new SP. At the beginning it was nice to get the attention. Again attention is the theme. Maybe I can tell you now, my Dad paid me no attention growing up and I still feel empty and sad about it. I tear up and I wander how I will ever fill this void. I haven’t slept with any of the SPs, it’s all bene mental also I’m a little religious/spiritual I want a commitment first before being physical, So SP 3 I am observing it, observing my emotions too. It’s bene up and down again but I am determined to make it work not because I want him but I am determined to change my mind and programming to know that I deserve love. Why is this so hard for me? It’s been up and down, he’s come so close to me and then he backs off, and then he comes back again and then pulls away. I practised my affirmations because I deeply feel a connection to him, no one makes me laugh like him and I feel we just get each other like no other and yes I like him this time. I think he is so dope and so beautiful, I just adore him. I really do. I am so happy when I hear from him and I am so down and dysregulated when I don’t. I know I need to work on this as this isn't healthy. That’s the things it’s not about him liking me, it’s about me liking me.

So I went away for a bit, and we started having the longest conversations ever like 4/5 hours and then he would back off but he was still looking at my stories and even my thirst traps haha. I was so miserable without hearing from him. So during that time I thought I should maybe start dating because there was so no movement and I was feeling I was giving him all of my forces. So I met another guy (SP4). SP4 gives me so much attention, like way too much, omg. At the beginning we didn’t really click and I found him to be rude but then he just became so obsessed with me. I am not even affirming he likes me at the beginning, I did affirm he would message me and he did. Like it went so fast to him wanting to marry me within 2 weeks. But I am still thinking about SP3, and I want SP3 in my heart. But I am talking to both, SP3 right now doesn’t want to talk to me and wants to be friends but only specially talk about one subject we both have admiration for. So it’s strange. Why am I still connecting to that pain. I am determined to change it. SP3 told me he had dreams about me and wakes up thinking about me, this is the thought transmission. I know it is working. The more I can stay on top of these thoughts I will bring him back. At night I do Neville’s Goddard technique of sleeping with him when I fall asleep. What I need to work on is my thoughts of the 3D, especially social media. I have to cut these thoughts they are not real. I have to be strong and focus on him loving me. You might be thinking about SP4 and am I leading him on? Look I obviously have attachment issues and I can’t focus on one person . Also it is showing me I am attracting love too. I am not physical with either of them. I intend to get married to SP3 or SP4 or to someone else? I want to be loved and in a committed relationship.

This is where I am now and I determined to make it work. Not because I am desperate but because I am worthy and I deserve to be loved. This is not about them it is about me being secure in myself, when I can anchor down into my energy I can manifest the love I desire. I am worthy of love, we all are. We deserve to be loved. No ifs, fears or insecurities, they block us. Just focus on the what you want. Stay there, live there.

#neville goddard #specific person

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butteraway · 4 years ago

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when time runs out | i

⋆ summary: A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

warnings: nothing much really, mentions of blood

word count: 1.3k

author’s note: Hey guys!! I just wanna let you know I made a few changes here and there in this chapter, nothing too big. Ah but seriously, I’m tired, but I’m having a lot of fun rewriting these huehuehue

No one saw it coming.

Who would have thought this could happen?

Of all the people who it could’ve been, why her?

L/N Y/N wasn't your average girl. Being related to a clutz like Kaminari Denki was no easy task. Despite them only being cousins, they had a relationship almost as tough as iron. No one would believe that the two were related, both being on different sides of the spectrum.

Quite popular at school, no one really cared much for her quirk, surprisingly, since she never had one to begin with. What made her so cool though, was her bright personality. Though she was quirkless, she had a big heart and was a strong girl. Y/N was ambitious for someone her age and had excellent grades that could rival a high school student's knowledge. In store for a very promising future, for a thirteen year old, she basically had it all.

Well.

Almost had it all.

It was until that unfaithful day, everything came crumbling and crashing down around her.

Family had only assumed that her light coughing that would come out every now and then was caused by an itchy throat. But when the light coughs turned to violent gasps for air, they were more than concerned. Especially when Y/N began coughing up blood. They took her to every doctor in town only to have the same answer thrown at them.

"I'm sorry Mrs. L/N, but we can't find any causes for her condition."

"Mr. L/N, test results show that nothing is wrong with your daughter’s health."

Of course, despite all the long trips and visits to hospitals and well known doctors, Denki and Y/N's relationship never once wavered. Having every opportunity when she was forced to stay indoors, she would spend her time playing video games with Denki.

Of course, when she did have the chance to go outside, she'd most likely be playing with Denki or picking flowers. As they both sat on the swing set in a park near Y/N's home, they cracked jokes trying to make the other laugh.

"Y'know what's a real good joke?"

"What? Your grades?"

"Pshhh, noooo. Me becoming a hero!"

Y/N smiled as she let out a loud laugh, sending her to the dirt on her knees as she tried to regain her breath. Her laughing soon turned to her clutching her chest, ragged breaths escaping from her mouth.

"H-hey Y/N, it wasn't that funny."

The harsh breaths turned into coughing as her face turned paler at the second. Soon she was gasping for air to enter her lungs, clawing at her throat, hoping for all the pain to stop. Denki was long on the floor, kneeling with a horror stricken face and shaky hands hovering over Y/N’s body.

"Y-Y/N, what's happening?!"

Of course Y/N never answered, Denki wanted to kick himself for even asking such a dumb question at the moment. He quickly scooped her up from the ground only to struggle with keeping her in his arms. His arms were far too weak to be holding all her body weight, but Denki only prayed he'd make it back home. He ran as fast as he could, yelling for his aunt and uncle to help him. By the time they came out, Y/N’s mother shrieked in terror as she took the poor girl from Denki's arms. Y/N was only gasping for what little air entered her body, blood slowly dripping from the corner of her mouth. Quickly getting inside their car, her father drove at an alarming rate to the hospital. The cries of his aunt only scared Denki even more when Y/N had stopped her struggling. Doctors whisked her away as fast as possible, stabilizing her and drawing out the blood from her lungs. The married couple could only pace in anticipation while they waited for a doctor. Denki, on the other hand, stared blankly at the white wall in front of him.

Was she going to die? Was it his fault that she was in such a devastating state? Seeing the color quickly drain from her face was the only thing Denki could really think about. It was his fault. Those thoughts plagued his mind, even after his parents raced into the waiting room, hugging his aunt. His mother bent in front of him, staring directly into his sunken eyes. Tears formed and fell down as he looked down to his hands.

"I'm s-sorry, it's m-my fault she's like t-this."

His mother embraced him, reassuring him that none of this was blamed on him. A couple hours passed and a doctor had arrived to inform the family of devastating news.

"Though your daughter is in critical condition, we have stabilized her enough to where she will be able to survive on what medication we have given her. Even with what tests had shown us, we aren't receiving any type of diseases coming from her. This could mean that she possibly has a newly formed disease in her. There isn't any information on how it could have formed in her, but we could only guess she had formed some germ of a sort and it grew from there. And with the condition she's in now and the lack of information of what we know about this, we won't be able to determine when she will get better, or even if she will get better. So as of now, it is highly recommended that she will have to stay in the hospital for her recovery and to prevent any more events like the one that happened today."

And despite the devastating news happening inside the bleak hospital, the outside world seemed to only flourish with life.

Y/N's parents were devastated and Denki could only stare at the doctor with sadness. As weeks passed, Y/N only got worse, it was a miracle that she was still alive. While doing research, doctors and some scientists had found out that the bacteria in her room worsened her body. They were confused on how this disease worked, but they couldn't complain. They moved the weak, thin girl to a secluded part of the hospital. Spotless, almost dust free, and clean her room was, it barely looked like a normal room to be put in. (Y/N) had little consciousness during the whole situation, not being able to lift her own pinkie, even if she tried. Months passed, and Y/N's body began to strengthen itself back slowly. Though, the only thing that could possibly kill her was having other people around her. So family members would have to look through a window and talk through a microphone in order to communicate with her.

Y/N honestly felt like a caged bird.

Denki would visit (Y/N) regularly, talking to her as she smiled and laughed. Every now and then, a doctor with a protective suit on would enter her room and quickly shut the door to check up on her. (Y/N) was silent during those times, looking at the doctor, examining the suit with an unreadable look on her face. Two years she had spent in the confined room, and during that time she had gotten her own computer, console, and tv as her form of entertainment. Playing online with strangers and getting to know them brought a smile to the girl's face. She knew she wouldn't be able to go outside anymore, not with how she was now.

Doctors have found out that overtime, her body had been slowly eating away at the medication, but it wasn't too severe at the time.

"Y/N's body has been rejecting the medication we have been giving to her. Unfortunately, we cannot do anything to prevent this and we have estimated she will have a year or so until her body doesn't take any of the medicine. We will need to ask permission to add higher doses of medication to her medicine. We will try our best to find a solution to this, but we can only apologize."

And this was how Y/N was in her position now. Despite the short time allowed for her, she didn't know how many things will happen in just one year. And who she will meet at that fact.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakugou x reader #mha #bnha #mha angst #bnha angst #bnha fluff #fanfic

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the-necessary-unnecessary · 5 years ago

Text

A list of all the films, series and web series that have been recommended as hidden must sees during isolation and beyond.

Note: I have divided them into films with happy endings or not, series that haven’t finished so the exact ending is unknown I have put an asterisk (*) next to

Note 2: the descriptions are a mixture of my own and of the reviews I was sent by anons

She gets the girl

A Date For Mad Mary, 2016 (needs a date for a wedding, more about her complicated reconnecting with friends after prison but romance is cute)

Almost Adults, 2016 (centers around the broader themes of growing up and friendship but one of them is a giant gay. There is a happy ending for both the gay one and the straight one, gotta give the straights some food because they so rarely get fed)

Anne+, 2018* (Dutch webseries with fresh and new vibes with a great mid-twenties actress about mid-twenties gay lives. Everyone in it is LGBTQ+ yet nothing about it is LGBTQ+, it’s all just treated as natural and normal)

Bound, 1996 (you can't beat the lesbian noir classic which should one day be inducted into the lesbian hall of fame)

But I’m A Cheerleader, 1999 (camp and a lot of fun despite the very serious themes, starring Natasha Lyonne- one of the gayest straights out there)

Carmilla, 2014-16 (webseries based on the groundbreaking 19th century book. Some great chemistry and a lot of breaking of the fourth wall)

Carol, 2015 (Cate Blanchett movie based on the book The Price of Salt which caused issue when it was realised in 1952 because it gave its lovers a open ended happy ending)

Couple-Ish, 2015-16 (cute Canadian web series, bit on the nose but important gay, bi and enby rep)

Desert Hearts, 1985 (the looks, the emotions, the gorgeousness of them both, the chemistry, oh god it was so good. Vivian Bell deserves all the orgasms)

Elisa Y Marcela, 2019 (A Spanish film based on the true story of two women who got married with one of them pretending to be a man in 1901. A tearjerker but ultimately their love is stronger than the adversaries they face)

Entre Nous, 1983 (a French 1983 film which has Jews & Nazi's but doesn't end in complete horror. There are straights who think it’s a friendship but we know better)

Fingersmith, 2005 (BBC drama based on a book by Sarah Waters)

Fried Green Tomatoes, 1991 (based on a more obvious book, they’re sold as best friends but if you know you know)

Fucking Åmål, 1998 (one of the first films aimed at teenagers about two girls falling in love and getting together.)

Getrieben, 2018 (they're ex's and share a dog and then maybe they're not so ex anymore)

I Can't Think Straight, 2008 (cute romantic comedy adapted from a novel about a London-based Jordanian of Palestinian descent preparing for a wedding before events take a gay turn)

If These Walls Could Talk 2, 2000 (some happy and some sad endings in this film which portrays three generations of lesbian storylines from the same house)

Imagine Me and You, 2004 (not my fav but a classic and has Queen Cersei playing a wlw)

Kyss Mig, 2011 (heart eyes, a lovely film, does have maybe a bit too much man in it but he's gone when we get to the nitty gritty)

Our Love Story, 2016 (Korean, subtle nuanced relationship story)

Rosebud, 1996 (a channel 4 short with Julie Graham and questionable fashion choices. Who needs words when you can have such tantalising and vivid visuals? Teeny bit of man but it's fitting in the particular setting and its very fleeting, although admittedly nude)

Saving Face, 2004 (romantic comedy which had less of an impact that Imagine Me and You due to lesser known actors and probably partly to do with race- the main characters are Chinese-American. But it's a gorgeous movie that has a lot more than just rom com elements. The Half Of It is by the same director.

Sjukt Oklar, 2018* (very Swedish, very lesbian, very very funny)

Supervoksen, 2006 (Danish teenage coming of age type thing)

The Carmilla Movie, 2017 (based on the webseries but still accessible to those that haven’t watched it. Quite sweet and the actresses seem very comfortable with each other. Plus there is a great sex scene in it where the muscles on one of the girl’s back are especially sexy)

The World Unseen, 2007 (period film during South Africa's apartheid era with great chemistry)

The Handmaiden, 2016 (extremely nsfw but its got some incredibly powerful meaning to it especially the final sex scene with the bells. It's also incredibly shot and the sex scenes were done very sensitively on set with only women around and the director even in another room.)

Thelma, 2017 (a supernatural thriller about a girl starting college who suddenly starts getting seizures but they don’t know why and she has a female love interest)

Tipping The Velvet, 2002 (BBC series, also has a Victorian era strap on in it and Keeley Hawes, what's not to love?)

When Night is Falling, 1995 (An uptight and conservative woman, working as a literacy professor, finds herself attracted to a free-spirited, liberal woman who works at a local carnival. It’s got quite a lot of a boyfriend in it so its not for everyone.)

Yes or No, 2010 (literally a ‘and they were roommates’ movie as well as an enemies to lovers plot)

Zwischen Sommer Und Herbst, 2018 (coming of age elements, does have a man involved especially at the beginning, who happened to be the brother of one of the girls, but overall it was okay, no lesbians die and it doesn't end in abject misery)

She doesn’t get the girl but neither does the trope

Aimée and Jaguar, 1999 (based on a true story. Beautiful but painful, it’s a Jew falling for a German housewife in Nazi Germany, hence its sad as hell ending)

Bloomington, 2010 (coming of age, teacher student thing which walks that line relatively well without being too icky)

Freeheld, 2015 (an extremely powerful and important story to tell)

Gia, 1998 (Angelina Jolie gets it on with Elizabeth Mitchell in a moving film about model and lesbian Gia Carangi)

Kontrola, 2019* (a masterpiece of a mini web series with a great soundtrack, aesthetic and storyline. Season 2 may present a better future for them)

Mädchen in Uniform, 1931 (German cult classic almost entirely produced by women. Sexual awakening/teenage coming out of her shell stuff, there is also a 1958 redo which is okay. She doesn’t get the girl but it’s still a positive portrayal of sexuality where the object of desire isn't disgusted or weirded out by it)

My Summer of Love, 2004 (At first glance a coming of age movie, but has a lot of phycological elements too. Emily Blunt with a girl, not happy but no lesbians die)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire, 2019 (spell-bounding french film with amazing rawness and visuals. One of my best cinematographic experiences ever)

Reaching for the Moon, 2017 (the love story of the poet Elizabeth Bishop and the architect Soares in the 60s)

Snapshots, 2018 (sad ending but great chemistry with no closed mouthed straight girl kisses)

Summertime, 2015 (French lesbian movie- dare I say more? Sad but no deaths)

The Hunger, 1983 (a gothic cult classic, vampires, its got David Bowie, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve in it)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post, 2018 (she doesn’t get the girl because there is no girl, but she does begin to find and accept herself. Based on a highly recommendable book by the same name)

Viola di Mare, 2009 (depressing as hell but beautiful to look and the couple have some good chemistry)

#hope this keeps everyone busy :)#idk what to tag this but hey ho #wlw #lgbt representation #lgbtq+#masterpost #og #yomequedoencasa #coronavirus #film recs

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scarletemeterio-thesecond · 4 years ago

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I love all of your zuko fic's so much♥️ could you write an angst one when he betrays the water bender reader in ba sing se and they were dating at that time?

Omg, thank you so much! I love writing for Zuko. I'm such a sucker for angst, this literally just hurt me by reading the request. I swear I'm SO bad at choosing titles, but besides that I really liked how this ended up Anyways, I hope you like it!

•••

Heartbreak and Betrayal (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of death.

Genre: Angst.

Fandom: Avatar, The Last Airbender

Summary: See Request

Word Count: 2105

part 2

I've been living in Ba Sing Se for a little over two months now. I ran away from the Northern Water Tribe in order to be free; I didn't want to use my bending for just healing and domestic things. I was a fighter; I had been my whole life, ever since my parents died.

I still didn't know the whole city, so I was really happy when I found a tea shop one day. A pretty new tea shop. I started spending a lot of my time there, going almost every day, not only to drink tea but also because it was calm enough for me to draw peacefully. I had been lucky enough to find a place to stay with a loving family in the upper ring of the city, but I couldn’t get much alone time.

I had been here for a few hours already and it was getting late. I got up, picking up my things and instead of heading towards the exit, I walked over to Mushi.

"Do you need someone to work for you?" I asked abruptly and quite desperately actually. I was running out of money, and I was scared for my future. It definitely hadn't been wise of me to spend that much money on tea. "Please, sir, I'll do anything you need to"

He looked at me a bit sad and I almost started crying at his expression. Then, he looked at the boy a couple of meters away from him.

"What do you think, Lee? Should we help this little kid?"

I looked at him, hopeful, but the boy didn't seem to care much.

"You know, we do have a lot of clients and maybe one waiter isn't enough".

"I-Is that a yes, sir?" I asked.

"You can call me Mushi, kid. And yes, it is a yes" I hugged the old man and he hugged me back, I was so happy. "Now, you are one of our best clients, but I'm afraid I don't know your name".

"Oh, I'm (Y/N)" I said. "Thank you so much, Mushi, when do I start?"

I stayed a little more, listening to Mushi as he told me all I needed to know to start tomorrow. I said goodbye to both of them and walked to my place with a smile on my face.

I never thought I'd be so happy to have a job; I loved spending my time at the shop. Over time, I grew closer to Mushi, who was always kind to me. However, my relationship with Lee was a bit weird: he rarely talked to me and when he did, he was very serious. I figured he didn't like me, but I didn't let it bother me. The thing is I was wrong: I guess we just needed some time to get to know each other.

It was pretty obvious to everyone that I had a huge crush on him; to everyone except Lee himself. His uncle had told me several times that he definitely felt the same, and that he didn't know how to act on his feelings but I wasn't so sure about that. Still, one day I decided to take a chance and ask him out on a date. He said yes, and the rest was history.

We've been dating for a little while and, honestly, I was extremely happy. I grew up thinking I would get married to some unknown man, forced to be only a healer and practically a servant, so this was all new to me. When I ran away, I thought I'd never find love, but I was wrong. Maybe I was being a bit rushed, but I knew I loved Lee. He was so sweet to me, and he always made me laugh. He was very understanding when I told him why I had run away from home. I always found comfort in the warmth of his skin since mine was always a bit cold, and he didn't mind; it was so funny to place my cold hands on his back from time to time, surprising him with my cold touch. I loved the sound of his laugh and I loved him even more.

We were about to close the shop when a man came in unexpectedly, giving Mushi a scroll with a message from the Royal Palace. We had been invited to serve tea to the Earth King! Or at least, they did.

Next day, when I heard a knock on the door and heard Mushi was looking for me, I got worried; he was supposed to be at the Palace with Lee. Of course, I immediately went with him.

"What's going on, Mushi?" I asked concerned.

"There are a lot of things going on right now" he answered. "We’ve been lying this whole time. My name is not Mushi, I’m Iroh, and Lee’s name is Zuko. We’re Fire Nation refugees".

I had a lot of questions, even more with every passing second, but he told me to follow him and that he would explain later. I nodded and we started walking, almost running. We stopped in front of a door and I wanted to ask who we were looking for, but I didn’t have any time since someone had opened the door.

"Hey, glad to see you’re okay" said a little girl.

"I need your help" said Iroh.

The two other boys in the room started to wonder how the little girl knew Iroh, but I didn’t pay them much attention. I was lost in my own thoughts.

"May we come in?" They agreed and so we entered the house. "Princess Azula is here in Ba Sing Se. She has captured my nephew, as well".

"Wait, what do you mean she captured Lee?" I asked, worried about my boyfriend and not thinking about saying his actual name.

"Who’s Lee?" asked the Water Tribe boy, but no one paid much attention to him.

"We’ll work together to fight Azula and save Katara and Zuko" said the other boy.

"Whoa, there. You lost me at Zuko".

"I know how you must feel about my nephew, but believe me when I tell you, there is good inside him". I stood there, not knowing what to do. I just couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to help Lee. He was the sweetest person I had ever met.

After exchanging some more words, they decided to help us.

"Wait, who are you?" asked me the Water Tribe boy looking at my blue clothes and making everyone look at me.

"I’m (Y/N), I’m dating Lee- I mean, Zuko" the three of them stood there, a bit shocked, but we didn’t have any time for explanations, so we quickly started moving.

We decided to split up. Iroh, this Aang kid and I were going to look for Zuko and a girl named Katara. While walking down the tunnel, Aang and Iroh exchanged a conversation, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about Zuko and everything that was happening. I still had a lot of questions and not even one single answer.

We eventually got to the catacombs, and it wasn’t long until we found Katara and Zuko. Iroh immediately hugged Zuko and then I did. He hugged me back and buried his face on my neck.

"I’m glad you’re okay… Zuko" I said.

"Y-You know?" he asked surprised.

"Your uncle told me". He tried to explain but I interrupted him. "It's okay, I still like you the same"

He smiled and I did too, even though I wanted to say that I didn't just like him, but that I still loved him the same way.

We rapidly split up again and Iroh started talking with Zuko while I was looking around the catacombs. Suddenly, everything started moving and I could see that Iroh was trapped. I hid myself the moment I heard a girl’s voice. Since she called him Prince Zuko, I realized she must have been the princess and therefore, his sister. She was trying to convince him to join her and Iroh kept telling him that he shouldn’t listen to her.

Then, I heard Katara’s voice again, and the Princess started attacking her. When she was distracted, I decided to help them and use my bending to try to stop her. And then something I never would’ve expected happened: Zuko decided to attack Aang. I just couldn’t believe it.

I could tell Katara didn't need any help against Azula, but I still decided to help her fight the Princess. I didn’t have time to stop and think about Zuko’s actions, I had to act and do something. The course of the fight changed, and now Katara was fighting the Prince and I was about to try to stop Azula from hurting the Avatar.

"(Y/N), stop!" screamed Zuko.

"You don’t get to tell me what to do right now!" I was angry, and I felt betrayed. He was going to let her kill Aang.

He threw fire at me and caught me by surprise, so I bent down while covering my face, which resulted in my arm getting burned. I let out a scream and immediately looked at Zuko. For a moment I saw regret in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with anger.

When Aang got hit, they both decided to go after Katara, and I tried to help her, but my arm just hurt too much and I didn’t have any time to heal it; I definitely was going to have a scar. When she got thrown against a rock, Azula started attacking me. I ignored my pain and started defending myself.

"Wait, don’t hurt her!" he said, getting closer to me.

"Stay away. I don’t want you anywhere near me ever again, Zuko" I threw water at him, pushing him away. I could feel tears running down my face. "I trusted you! I thought you might even feel the same way I did, but I guess you don’t".

"What do you mean, (Y/N)?"

"I love you, Zuko! Or at least, I loved the person I thought you were. But you’re not that person anymore, maybe you never were!"

"I do love you! Just let me explain, please-"

"No, Zuko. You don’t betray the people you love". I didn’t care anymore about him seeing me cry, and I could tell he was trying not to let the tears run down his face. I had so many emotions inside of me, I was angry, sad, disappointed, and even ashamed of myself for trusting him. And there were so many things I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t get the words out of my mouth.

Suddenly, the Dai Li appeared, and now we definitely were outnumbered. I quickly ran to Katara, who was getting ready to attack again. Then, Aang put some rocks around him and we all were waiting to see what he was doing. When he got out, his eyes and tattoos were glowing but it didn’t last long since Azula decided to throw lightning at him. The other waterbender and I looked at each other and used our bending to try to catch him before hitting the ground. Thankfully, she did, and I remained ready to attack in case we needed to. When Azula was about to throw fire at us, Iroh stopped her.

"You’ve got to get out of here. I'll hold them off as long as I can" he said.

‘’Go, Katara, I’ll help him" I said.

"No, (Y/N), go with her". When I heard Iroh’s voice, I looked at him confused. He definitely was going to get caught, and he needed help.

He started throwing fire and I still stood behind him, not knowing how to react, or what to do. I didn’t want to, but my eyes immediately landed on Zuko, who was already looking at me. He started walking towards me and I could see his lips moving but I just couldn’t -nor wanted to- hear him.

"(Y/N), let’s go!" Katara said behind me. I got out of my trance and went to her, helping her bend the water from the waterfall.

"Wait, (Y/N), please!" said Zuko quite desperately. But I didn’t pay any attention to him, I wouldn’t let him trick me again.

While we were getting out of there, I looked at him in the eyes. He was crying and kneeling on the floor, asking me to come back. I started crying and closed my eyes, trying to get him out of my head since I didn’t want to see him ever again.

#prince zuko fic #prince zuko fanfic #fire lord zuko #zuko imagine #zuko x reader #atla zuko #atla fanfic #atla imagine #atla #avatar: tla #avatar the last airbender #zuko angst #avatar x reader #imagine #imagines #angst #avatar angst

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madlymiho · 4 years ago

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I need some fluff yongi hc!

Yes 🤲🏻 we all need some fluff when it comes to those... scumbag brothers 🤭

I still hope this will suit you, it’s not the easiest since I wanna stick to canon character, and he’s not supposed to feel anything!

Yonji:

• First of all, let’s be real, exposing an actual gentle and caring side for Yonji is almost impossible, because he’s genetically unable to have feelings, they have been almost entirely erased when he wasn’t even born. He has never experienced kindness, compassion, and it’s unlikely he would be able to fall in love with someone

• If before he has never been curious about romance, and the fact that two people might share something, his meeting with you change something. Though, he still believes that thanks to science, he wouldn’t have to marry someone, unlike his brother Sanji, because it would be such a pain in the ass to actually fake feelings, and pretend he’s a decent husband, since he doesn’t care about that

• Though, Yonji is more likely the one among his brothers to observe people, and to try to mimic their behaviors. Niji and Ichiji are harsher than him, and there’s a soft part within Yonji, something he can’t explain and tries to hide, especially when he’s with his family... Maybe he experiences feelings sometimes, but he’s not sure about it and wouldn’t know if they are real or not, since he never tried to name them before

• For example, since he knows you, he appreciates the different outfits you wear. At first he believes it was only a sort of primal instinct speaking, some lust hiding in his non-existing emotions, but with time, he understands that it only happens when you’re around. He just appreciates, weirdly, to see the various clothes you have, and the way they shape your body, enlightening your natural beauty

• He’s also fond of your voice, and the way you express yourself, analyzing your features because he wishes to understand what other people might find cute in them. It’s complicated for him to process it, he doesn’t know what kind of feelings he’s having, what’s the name of the emotions he sometimes senses when you’re around, but your voice feels genuinely good... soothing his soul, but he doesn’t know how nor why

• It bothers him a lot, to feel so different around you, as he grows perhaps more silent than usual, eyebrows forrowed whenever he feels his chest swelling with all those emotions. It’s unpleasant, and yet, so welcome at the same time, until he even has to leave the room, before his brothers might understand there’s something wrong with him... He can’t be a weak ass like Sanji after all? He’s not a cry baby...

• Though the more he spends time with you, and the more he has some urges when you’re around... the urge to sense your skin, and know if it could be soft like he often imagines. He wants to fondle your hair, and appreciates the light dancing on it. He wants to bump your shoulder with his, and see how you would react... he’s afraid deep down that you might reject him, because he’s not like any other man, and he doesn’t have the possiblity to be like them if you ever wish for some normality...

• Sometimes at night, he jumps at your window, just to casually see your peaceful face when you’re asleep, his back pressed against the wall while he’s seated there for hours, wishing that he could come in and share the warmness of your bed. He could easily do so, for sure, but somehow Yonji wants you to invite him. He wants to have your consent, to hear those words, and the confirmation that he’s allowed to be with you

• He feels super uncomfortable whenever you’re talking to someone else, his chest burning with an unknown sensation, twisting his guts deeply, until he has to come by your side, and somehow steal the attention on him. He heard about jealousy, but he’s not sure it’s the name of this emotion, feeling appeased when you eventually lean against his shoulder with a soft smile, reminding him that you’re pleased to have him there

• He tries to offer your gifts, but he’s really clumsy with them, unable to know how to gift someone in the first place. He has to observe a lot of couples, and even make studies to understand how it’s done. He believes that he knows you enough to find the perfect present to make you smile, and when he achieves such a thing, his day is made for sure, and he feels thrilled and happier than usual

• It will take time for Yonji to understand that feelings never really left his body when he was born, and that his father hasn’t been able to suppress everything. Through his crush for you, and his love, he discovers that he has a human part he’s not so afraid to accept, falling in love with you everyday a bit more, until he would be able to confess his deepest emotions, and hopefully, find a future spouse within you

#one piece headcanons #one piece imagines #one piece headcanon #vinsmoke yonji #yonji one piece #vinsmoke family #one piece hcs #one piece imagine #one piece writing #fluffy headcanon #fluffy request #anon request #queued

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fangirlyah · 4 years ago

Text

✦ the future ahead - Edmund Pevensie x Reader

summary: where you both think about the future but neither says anything. without communication anything can go wrong

warnings: none

word count: 1,784

even though you saw the birds fly and the scent of freshly baked bread wafting from the bakeries around you, on that winter afternoon, nothing compared to narnia. a feeling of nostalgia hit your thoughts and almost threw you off track. even though you were with edmund and lucy, the need to return to the great kingdom would come from time to time.

they had said goodbye to narnia a year ago and the kingdom had not yet requested you three, so edmund and lucy were still stranded at their uncles' house. you visited them almost every weekend and this was no exception.

“we are going to look for the vegetables, y/n. edmund, you go for the dairy” the pevensie’s aunt had been more than clear on what they should buy in the village store, so they couldn't go wrong. edmund went to look for the products while you and lucy went looking for the rest.

while you finished parking the bike, you waited for edmund's kiss on your cheek, as he always did before going somewhere without you, but it never came. he just turned around and went on his way.

"ed is been acting so weird" you and the youngest of the pevensies walked side by side until you reached the queue of people outside the grocery store, your topic of conversation was your boyfriend.

"I have noticed, since the other night he is distant" his sister said looking at you sideways. you didn't know what had gone wrong that night, because according to your memory it had been a common friday night dinner with his uncles. it was not the first time you had eaten with his uncles and his cousin, who he despised so much, and he had never behaved like this before.

"I want to think that spending so much time with eustace has affected him, because as far as I remember nothing went wrong at dinner" while you took out the list of vegetables that should be bought from your coat, you saw lucy's look and you knew that she knew something else.

"it's edmund, you know that expressing his feelings is not his strong suit"

"I know but ... we have been together for three years, I believed that hidden feelings were something of the past" it was hard not to grieve. your boyfriend had been ignoring you for two days and you couldn't find the reason inside your head.

you did the shopping almost automatically while you were thinking of thousands of things, one of them being the fact that, perhaps, edmund wanted to end your relationship. when you became aware that edmund was likely to want to break up with you, instead of going back to the bikes with the commander, you wanted to run away and cry in your bed. you thought what could you have done wrong?

"where is edmund?" lucy looked around for her brother, stopping only to observe a couple in the distance. they looked in love and lucy thought what she should do to have a boy so in love with her, as she saw her brother with you or the unknown boy from the warehouse.

a long line of men came out of a room; you knew that inside the place, there wasn't anyone selling the dairy products that he had been asked for, so it was rare that he was there. but his sister and you decided to look, just in case.

your suspicions were correct because when you two entered the venue, edmund was first in line, talking to a man sitting behind a table. at first you didn't understand what he was doing there, but when you saw the poster hanging on the table, you understood.

‘military enlistment row. no studies required '

ed had never mentioned he wanted to enlist and that worried your heart a little more than before. since when did he hide so much from you?

"edmund! you should be helping out with the groceries! " lucy called him from the entrance making your boyfriend turn angrily looking for the voice. there he saw you with a pained face and, for a moment, his stress and worry disappeared. he knew that he should give some explanations later, which would mean talking to you and facing seeing you in the face.

without whispering a word, the three left the room in search of the bicycles, ignoring the jeers of the other men trying to enlist, who were old enough.

"since when have you been interested in the army, edmund?" his sister spoke questioning him. even though he hadn't spoken to you, when he left the place he was waiting to hear your voice scolding him, that way he would know that you still cared. instead, lucy accused him while being distracted by the previous couple.

“I have fought battles and wars in narnia, I am the best sword fighter in all the kingdom! I need that adrenaline again” you didn't even look at him, rather you were making sure that all the food ordered was already bought and well placed on the bike to avoid accidents.

"ee are no longer in narnia, ed!"

the return was silent. a silence that everyone needed before reaching the house and being attacked by eustace even for breathing. the pevensie’s cousin was not mean to you, on the contrary he treated you better than his relatives but, as time passed, he began to gain confidence and now he made some acid remarks against you that were stopped by edmund.

the house was silent, so you assumed that the family had gone out for their monday walk and you thanked for the moment of calm.

"someone at home?!" the kitchen was empty, as well as the living room; so they gently turned on the radio and began to sort the newly bought groceries into the cupboards and refrigerator. edmund had not managed to buy everything that had been asked, so lucy had to go looking for them, insulting her brother on the way to the front door. edmund had probably seen the poster and immediately went to sign up, although the fact that he had a false identification meant that he had already thought about it before; long enough to come up with a plan and steal his aunt’s papers.

"why didn't you tell me you wanted to join the english army?" you turned around from where you were standing, with your back to the counter, watching your boyfriend take food out of paper bags. he did not look at you nor did he answer you, he only raised his shoulders as a sign that he did not know or did not care “do you really want to get out of here? I know you want to go back to narnia and everything, but...the army is dangerous, you would be years out of the country and no magical lion will come to your rescue if they throw a bomb on you"

"there is nothing here that stops me from going" edmund was being cold on purpose, he wanted to hurt you like you had hurt him a few nights ago.

"are you talking seriously?" your voice dropped noticeably and your eyes watered, especially when you saw how he raised his shoulders again. “can you at least tell me what I did wrong? because you have treated me like garbage since the other night and I have kept awake trying to understand where I screwed up but... believe me I can't figure it out” you were hurt and edmund hated being the cause of that pain.

his voice never left his throat, leaving you standing in front of him like a fool. when two minutes had passed and he was still looking at the bag in front of him without a word, you put down the can of tuna that you were holding and went to the stairs. you wanted to hide in the bedroom you shared with lucy during your stay and cry, he didn't want you there so when you could calm down, you would pack your suitcase and go back to finchley.

when you were stepping on the last step before reaching the second floor a voice distracted you.

"you said you didn't want to marry me!" you turned your body and saw him on the first step looking at you with tears in his eyes.

"what?" your mind presented you with a vague memory and you understood where the question was coming from.

"you were in the kitchen with my aunt, helping her with the dirty dishes ... and ... and you said you didn't want to marry me!" your feet went down two steps, getting closer but still very far.

"I never said that" you two had never talked about marriage, but the fact that you had been together for three years and you were close to reaching adulthood; marriage wasn't a crazy thought anymore

"yes you did, don't lie to me!" you went down two more steps.

"I said ... I wasn't thinking of getting married now" a silence filled the room for a few seconds while your boyfriend lowered his head

"so ... do you think about marriage? ... I mean our marriage? ... for the future of course!" you finished going down the steps that remained reaching his height, to gently take his cheeks and raise his eyes to you.

"edmund ... you are the love of life, don't you think I think of a future for us?" you said sweetly as your eyes watered and you wiped away his tears.

"you do?" his arms wrapped around you leaving your faces even closer.

"I don't know what's ahead, but ... I know I want, whatever it is, to face it with you ... it's just that we're seventeen years old, ed...we have a lot of time to find out where the wedding will be” your last sentence caused a giggle from him.

"sorry for ignoring you, it's just that ... I got scared, because... I always think about a future with you and I thought ... maybe, you don't"

“in a few years when you put a ring on my finger, you will remember this weekend and think: I was a little fool"

with that phrase you sealed your lips in a sweet kiss, that moved to the beat of the radio song that sounded far away.

and as you said, it was. because seven years later, when edmund saw you running through the park with your child, he looked at your left hand adorned with the ring that had cost him so much to buy and smiled. you were right.

#edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund pevensie fanfic #edmund pevensie x y/n #fanfic #fanfiction #one shots #imagine #the cronicles of narnia #the voyage of the dawn treader #lucy pevensie

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pinky-the-elephant-room · 4 years ago

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AN: Ok so I’ve been gone for a while but I’ve hit a milestone in my followers and I decided to write one for my original anime hubby. He’s an oldie but a classic. Everyone loves Kakashi-sensei. Anyway It’s a long one so I hope you enjoy!

Warning: Implied smut but fairly SFW.

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Everyone has read the Fanfiction, and everyone has read the stories. Someone mysteriously dies and gets reborn in a new world. Only to train and become a badass before eventually getting their favorite character to fall in love with them. All while changing the story to prevent people, they’ve never met from dying. It was a wish fulfilment story and it works as entertainment. But real life is so much more difficult than anyone realizes.

Because in the end the person I was before never really changed even when I was reborn into a world of ninjas.

My first memory that I can clearly remember is eating ice cream outside my parent’s farm. I was born in a mundane village a few miles from Konoha. Ice cream was a rare summer treat that my parents occasionally indulged me and my five siblings in. It was on this rice farm where I spent the first five years of my childhood. I went to a civilian school that taught me to write and read before spending the rest of my days helping my family. I remembered nothing from my previous life. Just flashbacks and deja vus that left reminiscent feelings lurking in the back of my mind. Kanji was unexpectedly hard for me versus my sibling who picked it up with ease. Yet, when I finally grasped the language, I kept journals of writings not knowing that it was a passion resembling my former self. I also never understood my connection with cats. I was known as the resident cat girl that went around picking up stray cats to bring back to our farm. And the cats formed a bond, only tolerating me and hissing at everyone else who dared to approach them.

The peaceful years unfortunately didn’t last. Over the years war and bandits took a toll on our quiet town and maintaining a farm was no longer profitable. So, my parents made the decision to sell off their land and move to Konoha. Though, my parents were apprehensive, me and my sibling were ecstatic at living in a shinobi village. Everyone knew of shinobis, the legends surrounding them. Tales of bravery, heartache, and loyalty, it fascinated the residents of the village.

We moved into Konoha early August just before winter arrived and were citizens after 3 months. The process was short due to our lack of shinobi lineage and arriving from a civilian farm town. It was in Konoha that I really got my first exposure to what shinobis actually were. Seeing them jump off the roofs while my father tended his produce stall was mesmerizing. Playing ninja with the rest of the kids and constantly being surrounded by the hype eventually got to the point where I wanted to become a ninja myself. Along with two of my younger siblings, I begged my parents to attend the academy. They eventually relented when they realized the village offered funding for civilian children to attend. I was the only one out of my siblings to pass the entrance exam. I was the only one physically fit enough where they thought I had potential. when I left for that first day, it led to some tantrums and pouting from my siblings who didn’t make it. They eventually overcame their jealousy. They loved to hear about each and every new jutsu that I learned.

It was at the academy when I first saw him. It was him who destroyed my delusions and awakened my suppressed memories. It was Itachi Uchiha. Yet, despite his young age he kept up with the rest of his older classmates. He was only 5 years old, a prodigy amongst prodigies. When I saw his cherub, cute face for the first time, it gave me a headache. It started off as a numbing sensation on the side of my head. I collapsed on my bed from the exhaustion, closing my eyes because the blurred vision made the pain that much worse. I slept off my headache for the rest of the day. And all my previous memories were unlocked.

I was a boring human being. A lazy person who had a multitude of mental issues that barely survived off my paycheck. Got married to an equally mundane individual and by the time we were 30, the passion had worn off. We never got divorced, too afraid of dating again and leaving our two children without each other. The only happiness that kept me grounded was my writing and my hobbies. Growing up I loved anime and lessened as I grew up with more and more responsibility. But Naruto was my childhood and coping mechanism when I got bullied. And out of Naruto was my favorite character, Itachi Uchiha.

I don’t think I need to explain why anyone likes Itachi. From his tragic background and his love for his younger brother. Once as a naïve girl, I wanted to find someone like him or at least wished for a brother who loved his younger siblings like he did. And now somehow those desires came true. Because he sat only 3 rows away. Coupled with my new body’s memories of admiration for the young boy and along with my love and knowledge of what he was going to do in the future, made me yearn for him.

Not in a weird, sexual way. After all, I was still only 8 and he 5, but I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to be his confidant and most of all I wanted to save him.

When I spotted him alone at a lunch break, I decided to go introduce myself. This was going to be the new beginning of a friendship and hopefully more down the lane.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before approaching the quiet boy.

“Hello, are you Itachi-kun? Nice to meet you! I’m L/N Y/N and I sit behind you,” I cheerfully said and waved at him excitedly.

He blinked slowly and stared at me for a few minutes.

“Yes…. Nice to meet you too,” he uttered.

He stared at me for a few more minutes, making the situation more and more awkward. I let out a nervous chuckle and shuffled my feet at his intense gaze.

Itachi raised his eyebrow as if asking if I wanted anything else.

“Well I-“ I began, but was interrupted by a loud screech.

A boy collided with Itachi and knocked him over. The two tussled for a few minutes, the unknown boy laughing gleefully. While Itachi just sighed and dodged his rambunctious friend.

“Oy! Itachi, did you bring an extra bento that Mikoto-sama prepared?” The boy looked up and I stopped breathing.

It was a clearly healthy and alive, Shisui Uchiha. After a few minutes as the boys conversed, Shisui finally noticed me standing awkwardly in front of them.

He looked at me curiously and asked, “who are you?”

“That’s just my classmate. Anyway, Shisui I have my bento over there. Come,” the solemn boy said. The two boys then left while I just watched wide eyed.

Ok, so the first introduction didn’t go as I planned but I tried multiple times. However, each attempt was just as awkward as the first as I stammered and squirmed in front of Itachi’s inquisitive gaze. Apparently, my inept skills at talking to boys had somehow labeled me as a fangirl, I overheard the young boy tell his cousin.

Once after class, I watched a pretty Izumi clutch a content Itachi as he conversed with Shisui. The three Uchiha unaware of the turmoil in my heart as they went home for the day happily. I realized that day Itachi didn’t have a place for me. This world had no place for me because I was never meant to be here. This story wasn’t mine and it was never going to be.

I never tried again to attempt a conversation, too embarrassed by being called a fangirl. Before I knew it, the year was over and Itachi had graduated early along with his talented cousin. Farther away from my reach than ever, I again realized the difference between myself and the genius. I was still stuck in the academy at 9 years old with my peers. Most of all I knew in the depths of my heart that I couldn’t save him from his fate. Reality was much more bitter than anyone realized.

As for me I finally graduated on my birthday and my parents took us all out for yakitori at a restaurant. I was still going to try my hardest to be the best shinobi I possibly could be. At least if I couldn’t save Itachi and the Uchiha from the inevitable, which I doubt most people in my place could.

Unfortunately for me, my hardest didn’t amount to much. My sensei was a young impatient Genma who ironically had a toothpick in his mouth instead of a senbon. Let me summarize it for you, my team failed. Miserably. I stood there in horror, watching as my hopes and dreams for the future dissolved right in front of me. I rushed after Genma, pleading, and begging for another chance. Even resorting to full on ugly crying while he stood looking painfully uncomfortable.

“Please! I just wanna make a difference!” I begged as tears dripped down my face.

He sighed. “Fine! Just please stop crying. You’re embarrassing yourself and me.”

Genma recommended me for the Genin corps. It wasn’t where I wanted to be, but I also didn’t want to go back to academy. I figured if I spent a year on the corps, I could eventually find myself a Genin team before advancing onto Chunin.

However, once again what actually happened was far from my expectation. I didn’t spend a year or 2 years. I spent 7 years on the Genin corps. S-E-V-E-N. Years. I even spent a year on a Genin team when I was 13 only to realize my potential compared to my peers was very low. Don’t get me wrong my reincarnated body was ten times healthier and in shape than my previous coach potato one. I could barely run a mile in my previous life whereas now I could run 3 miles. However, that achievement paled in comparison to the average ninja. No matter what I did, whether it was taijutsu, genjutsu, or even ninjutsu was dull compared to everyone else. My punches lacked force, I didn’t have enough chakra for the higher level jutsus, and I couldn’t even tell the difference between a basic genjutsu to a complicated one.

Basically, I sucked, so I stuck to Genin corps. For the money of course, it paid pretty well in comparison to civilian jobs. I bought an apartment at 15 and I was able to provide for myself. But the crushing truth took a toll on my mental health. I just spend the time where I wasn’t working in my bed. I barely had energy to feed myself. I didn’t snap out of until I got straightened out by my mother.

“Y/N! When was the last time you took a bath or had a proper night sleep?!” Okasan yelled when she made an impromptu visit to my apartment.

I shrugged and took a bite of my rice ball that Okasan so nicely prepared for me.

“Look, I know being a ninja was your goal. But not everything in life works out. And not everyone has to be a shinobi to have a good life!” she said as her eyes softened.

“But what else am I supposed to do? I’ve been training to be a shinobi since I was 8 years old and none of the other jobs pay so generously,” I replied dully.

Okasan reached over and patted my hand. “Well, you don’t have to quit being a Genin just yet. Try new things or figure what else you want to do before you retire. Hell, when was the last time you had a hobby? You don’t even write like you use to.”

I considered it, maybe I could take up calligraphy or start writing again like I used to. I haven’t written anything down since I made Genin.

“Alright, I’ll think about it. But I’m not promising anything,” I grumbled.

“As long as you snap out of this funk and start taking care of yourself is all I ask for, Y/N” Okasan said with a soft smile.

It took a while after that conversation, but little by little I started to put in effort again. I cut my shaggy hair into an acceptable style, showered every day, and ate my meals on time. I even adopted a little stray off the streets that made itself home in my small apartment. One night coming home after my late shift, I stopped by a bookstore to buy a sturdy journal. I started off by journaling my daily life before letting my creative mind drift. In my previous life, I was a self-published erotica writer that basically did it for fun. Maybe it was something I could attempt again.

There were many drafts before I settled on a topic that I felt passionate about. In the Elemental nations, they idealized a woman who waited. Just take the bestselling Icha Icha novel for example, it involved a ninja who abandoned his wife because he was scared his enemies would target her. He spent the entire novel hoeing his way through the countries, only to realize he was still in love with his wife. The wife, who by the way, spent years celibate and faithfully waiting for her husband. That novel made me infuriatingly mad because it highlighted the double standards of the world I was born in so well. Hell, even in the future Sakura and Hinata would waste their lives, faithfully waiting on the men they love to reciprocate their feelings.

So, for my novel I decided to juxtapose those stereotypes by writing a novel about a woman named Sayaka whose boyfriend would break up with her, unknowing she was pregnant with his child. She spends her life trying to provide for her child, only for him to be kidnapped because he had a rare keikei genkai. She hires a local mercenary (Mahiro) except he’s not interested in her money but rather her. The rest of the plot was not decided yet, but I would see where it goes and plan accordingly.

The more I wrote the better I felt and the disappointment that was my career no longer felt like a death sentence. Without a laptop or anything to help me write, I had to resort to buying a used typewriter. Still I would rush home each day, excited to write another chapter. Or to get lost in the filthy world of the mercenary and desperate mother. There weren’t a lot of people I could trust to edit so I spent months editing and reediting until I had the best version of my novel. And then when I was done, I had no idea what to do with it. Did I really want to become an erotica author in this world? As violent as it was, the Elemental nations were still conservative regarding sexuality. There were many female readers who loved Icha Icha but didn’t show it in public because it was seen as a dirty book for old men. After much deliberation, I decided to contact publishing agencies that weren’t affiliated with Icha Icha.

Waiting for their responses took months and many rejections before my novel was picked up by a small agency that mostly published Nonfiction. The agency would send an editor to talk about contracts and the novel itself to Konoha. So, by my 18th birthday, I was anxiously awaiting where else fate would take me.

The editor and I had decided on a family restaurant to meet up and I dressed in my best clothes to give off the optimum impression. I really wanted this to work out for me. For once.

It didn’t take long before a harried young man in a suit came in and looked around anxiously.

“Nino-san! Over here!” I called out and waved my hand to get his attention.

He looked at me in surprise and sat down across from me.

“Uh, hello. Excuse me can you tell when Y/N-san will arrive? I’m kind of on a deadline.”

I looked at him weirdly. “Um, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you,” I said cautiously.

He stuttered wildly, blushing as he pointed at me. “B-be serious! No way are you her! You’re way too young to be writing such a – “

“Filthy, dirty novel?” I finished wryly.

He shook his head vigorously. “No! I meant such a hardcore erotica! I-I’m so sorry that came out wrong.”

I just laughed. “It’s ok. I’m a shinobi, we age faster than we look due to the trauma.”

We spent the next hour talking about the novel itself and how it would be promoted.

“So, Y/N-san. Our agency usually doesn’t deal with erotica. But your novel has a good chance to sell well if someone promoted it correctly. We want this to be known as the Icha Icha for women.”

I felt my eyebrows furrow. “Isn’t that a little presumptuous? Won’t I just get hate if I don’t live up to the expectations?”

The man let out a chuckle. “That’s true but I don’t think most people will be disappointed by it. Besides it’s very important for new authors to get their name out there. Maybe for future sequels we can tone it down, but for the first one we want to start off with a bang! Any publicity is better than none,” he reasoned.

Realizing the editor might have a point, I agreed and signed a contract with the publishing agency. The novel was due to be out December which is 6 months from now on. For the first time in a while I had achieved my goals. I had managed something without it going terribly wrong.

I got a small sum of money when I signed the contract, but I really wouldn’t be to collect royalties until the book was published. So, for the rest of my time I diligently did my job as a Genin by delivering messages and other nonsense jobs that were left over. As I avoided the shinobi bars that were filled with accomplished Chunins and Jounins, I promised myself that I would never again be embarrassed to walk these streets again. For the past few years, I had kept my eyes down as I walked through the villages as I got older and older, yet I still remained a Genin.

‘Please no more. Give me something to be proud of.’ I begged in my mind. Even if it meant a trashy porn, I was so low on self-esteem, anything would be worthwhile.

Luckily for me, it seemed like 18 years of bad karma was finally going to be turned around as the date to publish my novel got closer and closer. The agency hadn’t lied, they promoted my novel almost aggressively. Every bookstore had huge advertisement declaring the next big hit. Though, I had giggled almost manically when I saw the book’s cover for the first time. It reminded me of the many trashy novels from my previous life with the man’s shirtless abs on display with a beautiful woman clinging. However, for my novel it was obviously a rogue shinobi with his chest on display as a young girl clutched his biceps. Scarlet Heart series was the name I had chosen, and it stood out on the erotic cover. I saw many curious women fluttering around the display, almost shy in showing their interest. I even saw a man pulling away his pregnant wife as she read the synopsis, muttering angrily to himself.

When the launch of the book occurred, I holed myself in my apartment. I tried to relax and keep myself busy so I wouldn’t be too occupied with the reactions. I even took an entire week off from my usual work, feigning sickness in my family. I hung out with my oldest brother and his newborn son, trying to reacquaint myself with the siblings that I had long neglected.

I met up later with my editor to discuss how the book was faring, hopefully it did decent enough that I could have reason to continue my story. We met up at the same restaurant as before and Nino gave me a brilliant smile that quelled my fears.

“Y/N-san, your book’s sales did amazing in Konoha followed by Iwa and Kumo. The marketing towards women paid off because most of the sales came from women in their 20s to 40s. Heck, there were even a substantial amount from men who were curious. I think you should definitely continue this series. Do you have an idea where you’re going to take the story?” he gushed with excitement.

I sighed with relief, “I’m glad. I was so worried about the response I didn’t even go near any bookstores! As for sequels I have an inkling. I still have to work out everything, but I want to introduce Sayaka’s ex-boyfriend and maybe dabble in a proper love triangle.”

Nino-san nodded and said, “you should be careful how you write that triangle though. Some love triangles can get tedious and annoying, but it does play its part well in keeping the audience’s interest.”

Nino-san and I eagerly discussed the future for Scarlet Heart. I felt a flutter in my heart, knowing that for the first in forever I had something to look forward to.

Time Skip~ 1-year Kakashi POV:

Really with everything he had endured in his life, you would think the world would be willing to give him a break, right? Nope!

Most think it started with Obito’s death, but he thought it started with his father’s suicide that really began the downward spiral. Nevertheless, after his teammate’s death, he and Rin had rushed into a presumably “relationship”. But really it was a way to keep her close, so he didn’t lose anyone else. They never even kissed though he knew Rin desperately wanted to do all the things that couples do. But he remained closed off in those four months before she was killed. By him no less.

Afterwards included him coping with his trauma by joining Anbu (and for a short while Root). His sensei became Hokage; but even he would pass away along with his wife, leaving behind a tiny blond sacrifice for the village to turn their resentment against.

But he was getting ahead himself months before Rin’s death Jiraiya-sama had approached him with a gift.

Jiraiya gave him an exaggerated wink and giggled. “Here gaki. You’re so depressed that Minato and Kushina keep thinking they might have to stage an intervention. But what you need is a distraction and I have just the thing!”

He had handed over a book with a bright red cover before hopping roof to roof all the while laughing obnoxiously.

He took it with a surge of curiosity, emotions he hadn’t felt in a while since Obito tragically passed away (AKA crushed by a boulder, but he digresses).

That started his love, well more like obsession, with the Icha Icha series. First, he was revolted and ashamed, eager to find the Sannin and perhaps show him the effectiveness of his Chidori. But over time his curiosity couldn’t be contained, and he finished the naughty book in two days. He noticed how when he was occupied with the book, he hadn’t once thought of Obito and everything that was wrong with his life. Of course, he had a girlfriend then so he couldn’t risk being seen with the book outside of his humble apartment. But a year after Rin’s death, he ventured out with his hobby. The reactions of the general public had amused him beyond belief and a strange sense of vindictive righteousness set upon seeing his Anbu kohais’ reactions.

The reactions only encouraged him to read everywhere and anywhere. He even managed to piss off Gai once as the incensed man ran away to do a 100 more laps around the village. It didn’t last long before he reappeared to challenge Kakashi once more, but Kakashi appreciated the brief reprieve.

Anyway, the point of this rather tragic flashback wasn’t to gain sympathy for himself, but to showcase the real injustice that occurred at his tender age of 25. His beloved Icha Icha had a rival apparently. Which was bullshit, obviously. He wasn’t blind to the errors of the pornographic novel. The plot was simple, characters were paper-thin, and as more novels debuted in the series, the more apparent the similarities between each novel became. But the series was fast moving, the sex was incredibly detailed and arousing, and the series was frankly addicting. Once someone became a fan, it was impossible not to reach for the next one.

So, when he heard about this supposed series that was going to rival Icha Icha, he had scoffed and rolled his eyes. Many contenders claimed the same thing before they faded off into oblivion when everyone realized the superiority of Icha Icha. The first four months of the series’ debut he made it his mission to ignore all the hype and kept rereading his collection. After all, when the next issue of Icha Icha released, everyone would forget the hype of this wannabe.

Unfortunately, the world never adheres to his expectations and loves to fuck him over every chance it got. Kakashi, once again, had failed another Genin team because Hokage-sama thought he had potential as a sensei. He must have been smoking that pipe too much lately. The rest of his fellow Jounin invited him to a bar where he reluctantly agreed and was dragged off by Asuma.

They settled in and ordered some drinks, while Kakashi read his book, half listening to the conversation around him.

“I’m telling you this book is really good. I know people say it’s for women, but it’s so much more than that.” Kurenai persuaded Genma who just looked skeptical.

“Even Asuma liked it!” She pointed to the smoker who just looked embarrassed at the sudden attention.

Asuma cleared his voice a couple times. “Well, it’s not that bad at all. It kept me busy for a couple of hours for a few days.”

Kurenai rolled her eyes at him. “He loved it. He told me he did.”

Kakashi’s interest peaked and he lowered his book down.

“Wait, are you talking about that new series that everyone’s losing their minds over?”

Kurenai’s eyes lit up and she looked eager rather than the calm, collected Jounin she usually was.

“Yeah, you read it Kakashi? I never thought for once you would put down that trash and try something else.”

Kakashi felt his ire rise and his single visible eyesmiled at the red eyed kunoichi.

“Why Kurenai doesn’t that book also have porn in it? Doesn’t that mean you read trash too?”

Kurenai’s cheeks heated up. “Well, it does but it’s also about a betrayed woman who learns to love again and honestly it’s much more nuanced than whatever Icha Icha achieved in its six sequels.”

Kakashi felt his eyebrows rise. He highly doubted that, but he couldn’t help but add in.

“And how do you know what’s in Icha Icha?”

The blush on Kurenai’s face deepened. “I might have read it but only because Anko forced me to. To ‘loosen’ up or whatever that means.”

Their fellow Jounin chuckled as Kurenai tossed back a drink as she tried to cool her overheated face.

The conversation moved on mercifully for the embarrassed woman, but Kakashi also lost his interest and he returned to the passage where Misaki was educating her lover on the preciseness of oral sex.

Kakashi hoped that would be the last time he ever heard of that book. But again, the hype for this novel continued. He spotted more women with erotica in their hands than he ever did in his lifetime. Even kunoichi seemed to have lost their minds as the book was the hot topic no matter where he went. Even the Hokage’s secretary was seen reading the porn while she was on the job. He was sick and tired of hearing about this supposedly incredible book. Kakashi just wanted to read his book in peace can’t the village go back to a time where it wasn’t consumed by porn?

Kakashi sighed as another day passed and yet another Genin team failed. When will Hokage-sama finally get the message he just wasn’t cut out for teaching? He sighed with relief as he flipped the entrance banner of Ichikaru Ramen and sat down on one of the stools.

“Just a miso ramen. Thanks,” he called out tiredly. Kakashi looked around the restaurant and was surprised to see another person at the other end. He barely noticed her; her chakra presence wasn’t much. She was just in a plain white t shirt and some pants. A civilian he guessed. Kakashi turned back when his order was placed in front of him. He stealthily looked around the restaurant and saw no one was paying attention to him. He pulled down his mask and started eating his meal. It was nice not to eat in big gulps for once lest someone saw his face.

When he was halfway through his meal, he heard the sound of someone turning pages and muttering. He turned around to see his neighbor writing in her book and she seemed to be fairly frustrated. Just as Kakashi was about to turn around and mind his business, he noticed that the book was the infamous Scarlet Hearts. He internally groaned. Really? Just how bad was his luck?

“Is the book any good?” He called out to the young girl.

Oh, damn why was he getting her attention? Abort! Abort! This day didn’t consist of making polite conversations with a civvie.

Just as he was about to maybe perform a last minute shunshin, the girl looked up at him and stared at him in surprise.

He felt nervous when she just kept staring at him for a while. Did she recognize him as the “friend killer” and infamous “copycat ninja”?

“Uh- Hello?” He waved his hands in front of her face.

The girl looked startled and flushed. “Oh, sorry. I got lost in thought. What was your question again?”

Kakashi pointed at her book and asked, “the book, is it as good as the hype says it is?”

She just seemed even more startled by the fact that he was asking about her book. “W-well, I’m not sure about other people’s opinions. But it’s worth reading just for curiosity’s sake. I found it pretty good.”

Kakashi stared at the awful book, wishing he could set it on fire just by glaring at it. “See, I don’t see why people are comparing it to Icha Icha. It can’t possibly be that good!”

“I kind of have to agree on that. The marketing really didn’t do it justice,” the girl muttered.

Kakashi tilted his head towards the younger girl and sent a relaxed smile her way. “Ah, thank you. Finally, someone who understands.”

The girl shook her head. “I meant trying to compare the two books wasn’t a good idea. They’re two different books, the only thing they have in common is that they both have explicit scenes.”

Seeing the confused look on his face, the girl further elaborated. “Icha Icha is intended for a one type of audience and it does its job well. There’s nothing wrong with that after all it has an ardent fan in you. But I feel like Scarlet Heart can be enjoyed by any mature individual. And for me what’s the most important thing is that it portrays its women realistically. Icha Icha is based off this fantasy, ideal type of woman who doesn’t have any drama of her own and goes around solving the male character’s issues. Or she’s a passive victim in the overall story for the hero to win over. This heroine in Scarlet Heart is cynical, hard to get to know due to her past. The male character is a typical chauvinistic guy who thinks he can have anyone he wants. But over time as they get to know each other the layers fall apart to show two lonely people who’ve been waiting for someone to connect to.”

Kakashi looked at the girl critically who sent a tentative smile to him after her long explanation. Her features were quite plain and at first glance she wasn’t anything exceptional to look at. But her smile lit up her entire face. He thought over her words, no one had ever explained the book quite like that. But then again, he never gave them the time to explain either. Perhaps, he was wrong to do so.

“Here maybe you would like to form an opinion yourself and see if it holds up,” she said as she handed over her own copy of Scarlet Heart.

He grabbed it from her grip, touching her soft hands by accident, quickly pulling away. “Are you sure? Weren’t you writing in it earlier?”

With a cute prominent blush, she replied, “it’s fine I bought that paperback copy to write in. I have another one at home. You can keep it. If we meet again tell me what you thought of it.”

Kakashi nodded and put the book with his Icha Icha in the weapon pouch on his hip.

“Mah, I’m sure we will. By the way what’s your name? After all, when I see you next time, I have to thank the person who will put up with my complaints.”

“Oh, I’m L/N Y/N. Nice to meet you,” she said with another bright grin aimed his way.

Ignoring the unconscious shivers that erupted on his body, he returned it with another one of his patent fake smiles.

“Hatake Kakashi. Nice to meet you as well, Y/N-san.”

The conversation died a few minutes later and he paid for his meal before leaving for his lonesome apartment. Maybe today the lonely dwelling won’t be so bad to deal with, what with new reading material the night might just pass by really quickly.

Return to Reader’s POV

You know when I began my porn writing journey in the Naruto world, I never for a second thought I would attract Kakashi’s attention. I mean I knew he read porn, but I honestly thought he would stay attached to Icha Icha forever. In the anime, he still read the book even years after Jiraiya’s death, so it just goes to show how much of a devoted fan he was.

When I met him accidently in Ichikaru Ramen, I was in a state of shock. I’m pretty sure he thought I was just another weird fangirl. ‘Just like Itachi.’ I couldn’t help but think.

But him asking about my novel and actually pouting about the attention it gained made me giggle even hours later. Still giving away the novel I was rereading to spot mistakes and plot holes was bold. I genuinely hoped he liked the novel; it would be a huge compliment if I managed to change his perspective. I know I wasn’t ever going to change his mind about Icha Icha, but he had plenty of money to support both series. I probably wasn’t ever going to see him again, but it was nice to interact with a canon character for once without entirely embarrassing myself.

I shook off the excitement from interacting with the scarecrow sensei and tried to focus on brainstorming my second novel. The love triangle was going to become much more integral in this part and I was going have to work extra hard to make readers sympathize and like Shoutaro. Because many of my readers were already enamored with the hotheaded, flirtatious mercenary with a heart of gold, Mahiro. The best way to build the triangle was to showcase pros and cons of both men. Thereby making the triangle stronger and give readers something to root for. While there would be only one man who would get the girl, I wanted readers to feel conflicted between the two men. However, to keep the choice from happening out of nowhere, I also had to hint throughout the novel why Mahiro and Sayaka was the best choice. So, by the third novel when Sayaka made her choice, it wouldn’t seem like it happened out of nowhere. Indeed, the sequel was harder to write than the first one because I had high expectations to overcome this time. Brainstorming even took longer than normal. Though, it was challenging, I decided needed a break and took a trip to the markets to finally restock my empty fridge.

Slowly I made my way through the vegetable stalls and tried to pick out the ripest ones. Most people usually tried to barter the prices. However, since the massive royalties I had more money than I knew what to do with and so I paid the full amount at each stall. Most of the produce stalls were run by elderly couples and they needed the money for their livelihood.

I bowed to an obasan and thanked her when she gave a few extra tomatoes after I paid.

“You know most people would try to barter the prices down to a fair price,” a deep voice interrupted just as I was about to walk away.

I jumped and almost dropped my produce. A steady hand gripped my hips and set me right. I looked up to the masked, silver haired Jounin. I blushed, feeling his strong hands on my body. His single eye widened a bit before he relaxed and let go of me.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Y-yes, thank you. Hatake-san,” I stuttered and bowed my head.

“Ma, no need to call me Hatake-san. That makes me feel older than people think I am.” He said as he waved off my gratitude.

“Hai, K-kakashi-san then. What are you doing here? No offense but I didn’t realize that elite shinobis had time to shop and cook for themselves.”

It was true from what I heard. All elite shinobi, especially men, rarely cooked for themselves relying on easy to make or restaurants meals to get them through the day. Some even ate rations to forgo meals in a rush.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at me. “Well, I was actually looking for you. I’ve finished the book you loaned me after a week. It’s only right to return it.”

I shook my head. “It’s alright. I told you to keep it didn’t I?”

I felt my head get hit lightly by something. I looked up to see it was my paperback novel. When did he pull that out? Did he have it on him all this time and I didn’t noticed it until now?

“You’re quite stubborn, aren’t you? Let’s just say I needed an excuse to find my partner in crime and tell her my opinion of the book.”

I sighed, realizing that I couldn’t get away from his rant that he will no doubt tell me with relish on how much he hated the book.

“Alright, but I have to put my groceries away.” I said lifting my bags.

“It’s fine. As long as it isn’t milk or meat it wouldn’t be spoiled for a few hours. Come on, I’ll treat you to some dango.” He walked away slightly slouched and relaxed with his hands in his pockets.

I looked after him helplessly, hesitating on whether I should follow or not.

“You better follow him, jou-chan. He’s quite handsome,” the obasan said as she helped another customer. A few giggles slipped out from the customer and I felt my cheeks go hot from embarrassment. I bowed and thanked the elderly lady again before following the Jounin.

I caught up to him in no time, we both walked silently before we came onto the small stand that was selling the sweet.

Kakashi told me to take a seat on a bench nearby as he grabbed the sweets. I put down my groceries near me as I waited for my companion to return.

He came back with two skewers of dango and handed me one while he held onto the other one.

“So, what did you think of the novel?” I asked as I took a bite of the dango.

“I hate it to admit it but it’s good. Not better than Icha Icha of course, but it’s better than some of the others that tried to ride the coattails of Icha Icha.”

I felt a burst of butterflies inside my stomach and I leaned forward eagerly. “Really?!! What did you like it about it specifically?”

He seemed amused at my enthusiasm. “Ah, well I liked how the author built up the romance. They didn’t have sex right away, but when they did it made sense-“

I felt my heartbeat increase and my ears felt hot when I heard the word sex come out of Kakashi’s mouth. How did I ever not know how nice his deep voice was? I bet he would be really good at dirty talk—Ahh, nononono. That was not a good topic to think about while you’re talking to the man. I bit my lip to concentrate on what Kakashi was trying to tell me.

“And I like how the female characters made smart decisions and acted cautiously instead of getting kidnapped all the time. It made them seem like real people instead of plot conveniences.” He finished with an eyesmile.

I returned his smile, liking that he appreciated the portrayal of the female characters. Some of the detractors apparently didn’t like the more rounded characters and felt they should just be used as sauce instead of being the main dish.

“Do you prefer the woman in Scarlet Hearts or Icha Icha?” I asked playfully.

He narrowed his eyes at my tone. “Weeeell, the women in Icha Icha are much more beautiful, but the women in Scarlet Heart are more attainable than the ones in Icha Icha.”

I let out a laugh. “That’s nice to hear. But I’m pretty sure that Sayaka isn’t a real person. Sorry, Kakashi-san.”

He let out a disappointed sigh. “I guess I will have to safeguard my heart until I can find someone close to her then.”

I snorted knowing Kakashi would remain single even at the end of the series where everyone was getting married and having kids.

“What? You think it’s hopeless?”

I just sent him an innocent smile and said,” I have no idea what you’re talking about Kakashi-san.”

Me and Kakashi stayed for a few more minutes before I decided to head home. Kakashi stuck close to me, telling me he would keep me company until I arrived. He looked surprise at the neighborhood I was living in. The small apartment I was previously inhabited was now upgraded to an upscale three-bedroom apartment. It was a safe neighborhood that was occupied by wealthy merchants and high-ranking shinobis. I ignored his reaction and continued to walk toward my apartment.

When I had trouble trying to juggle my groceries and trying to grab my keys from my purse, Kakashi stepped in to grab my bags. I thanked him and opened the door. He casually walked in and left the bags in the kitchen at my directions.

“Would you like some tea? I think some tea would be good with the sweets we just had.” Kakashi just nodded in agreement as he looked around my apartment. The tiny stray who I adopted became a giant, fluffy monster who was now sniffing Kakashi’s feet and rubbing against his legs.

I giggled and left to make some iced sencha green tea. I tried not to let my excitement that THE Hatake Kakashi was standing in my living room, distract me from being a good host. I filled the glass with tea and dropped some ice cubes in it before putting it on a tray and bringing it out to the living room.

“Kakashi-san? Here’s your tea,” I called out happily and looking up to see Kakashi’s back.

I furrowed my eyebrows when he didn’t respond. “Kakashi-san?” He was still turned around and looking at something.

I put the tray down on a coffee table and approached the unresponsive Jounin. I looked down to see papers in his hand and felt my face pale drastically.

“A-ahhh! That’s not for your eyes!” I laughed hysterically and snatched my papers from his hands. I quickly took all my notes and notebooks which I brainstormed in and dropped them off in my bedroom. With a head full of excuses as to why I had Scarlet Heart’s sequel on the sofa, I made my way back to Kakashi.

“You’re the author of Scarlet Heart?”Was the first thing he asked when he saw my face. I felt my face heat up.

“U-um, no! That was just me amateurly writing as to what I think will happen in the future!”

He shot me a serious look. “Do you think I’m stupid? That was the first chapter all neatly written down. And the character profiles of future characters like her ex-boyfriend are all filled out accurately. Plus, you’re a single young girl that’s living in such a rich neighborhood which many people can’t afford unless they have some serious cash. Cash from a recently released erotica maybe?”

His intense gaze made me sweat profusely and I couldn’t hold eye contact for more than a minute.

“Yes. Yes, I’m the author of Scarlet Hearts.” I whispered, looking at the ground.

I quickly gazed back at him when I heard a snort. Kakashi gave me an incredulous look.

“I can’t believe it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes. You’re so young! How old are you, 16?”

I pouted, puffing out my cheeks. “I’m 19! Besides you’re a shinobi what does age even matter? You’re a legal adult when you’re a Genin!”

Kakashi let out a chuckle and softly patted my head. “I know that but you’re a civilian so it’s different.”

I bit my lips deciding whether to tell him I was actually a former Genin corps. Deciding I didn’t need the genius looking at me in pity, I didn’t correct him.

“Well, now that you know. Please keep this a secret, ok? I just want to live in anonymity and write my books. Hence the pen name.”

Kakashi agreed and messed with my hair some more.

“You got it, Y/N-chan.” I blushed at the added chan in my name.

He downed his iced tea in a hurry when an Anbu appeared at the window with a mission for him. I watched with amazement as Kakashi disappeared with a shunshin and then scowled heavily looking at all the leaves on the floor of my apartment.

“Note to self. Do not let elite shinobi shunshin in and out of my apartment,” I grumbled to myself as I swept up.

Kakashi’s POV 2

You know how once you find out something about someone it changes how you look at them. He was now intensely curious about Y/N. He figured she was a normal innocent girl, but boy was he wrong about everything. How was he supposed to know that the sex scenes that had him riveted to the point that he took a shower to calm himself before he resumed reading was written by a cherub slip of a girl? After his discovery Kakashi was unable to leave her alone. He frequently took time out of day when he wasn’t on a mission or training his helpless cute team (he had a team now!!), he was spending time with Y/N. It was kind of weird at first after all he went out of his way to avoid human contact, but in this case, he wanted to know what made her tick. All her favorite things and her habits. Kakashi wanted to know what made her sad or what made her be flushed with happiness.

Most of all he wanted to know how she came up with all the scenarios in her novel. But even he knew that if he asked her bluntly, she would no doubt kick him out of her apartment and refuse to speak to him again. It also didn’t help that his imagination went wild each time he saw her. All those scenarios would inappropriately pop up in his head and she would star in all of them. The blush on her face gave him a good idea on how she would look with her eyes dilated and with him on top. Whenever that happened the excitement coursing through would become prominent and he had to take a few breaths to calm him down. Imagining Gai in a bikini always did the trick for him.

Kakashi, after months of speculation, came to one conclusion as why Y/N was so fascinating. He wanted her. He wanted her in a way that men who were attracted to women did. In a way that meant commitment and all the mushy feelings. He groaned at that idea, Kakashi so didn’t want to act like Minato-sensei whenever he was around his hot-headed wife.

He could just ignore the feelings; he was quite good at ignoring all the turmoil inside of him. But his crisis shinobi therapist said he could no longer do that. He had to solve his lingering issues if he wanted to move forward with his life like his survivor’s guilt and his unresolved issues with his dead father. So that meant he had to make it obvious to Y/N that he liked her. Should he shout his youthful love on the top of the Hokage mountain at early in the morning like Gai would do? Kakashi chuckled at the novel idea. Ok, he was trying to get her to date him not run away from him. Luckily for him, fate decided to not be a bitch this time and give Y/N a nudge.

Kakashi was inside of her apartment like he usually was nowadays with her round monster of a cat on his lap. He absentmindedly patted the feline as he purred away like no one’s business. His ninken weren’t happy with him lately, but they will have to put up with it because Y/N was going to be around him for a long time if he had anything to say about it. He looked at Y/N who was hard at work on her second novel, typing away at the machine she called a typewriter. No matter what Kakashi did today, he wasn’t able to get her attention. She was intensely focused on the sex scenes apparently, which was a shame. Because he was right here, and she could be doing much more than just imagining it.

A mischievous idea popped into his head.

“So, Y/N-chan,” he called out.

She responded with a distracted “hm”.

“Do those explicit parts have any truth to them?”

That got the attention of Y/N and she turned around with a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean most people write about what they know. So, I’m asking if you have attempted anything from the books you write?”

Kakashi had pride within himself for the many ways he made Y/N blush. But the flush on her cheeks, ears, and her neck had no rival with the way her eyes seem to swirl with embarrassment.

“Kakashi-kun! I-I-. You can’t just ask that!”

“It’s true though. Everyone does research for their novels. Especially Jiraiya-sama,” he stated nonchalantly despite his eyes beaming with amusement.

She pressed her hands against her overwhelmingly hot cheeks.

“I’m not like that Sannin! I’ve never had sex before! I’m still a virgin. I just write whatever pops into my head,” she mumbled out.

Kakashi got up and made his way to Y/N. He leaned into her face as Y/N tried to scramble back, trying to get some space in between them.

“Y/N, if you ever need inspiration for your book. I’m right here and I’m happy to volunteer for such a good cause,” he said cheekily.

Her eyes widened and she gaped at him. She blinked several times as if she couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth.

Kakashi touched her cheeks, breaking her out of the stupor she was in. As he stroked her soft skin with one hand, the other pulled down his mask to reveal his face.

Y/N let out a squeak and gazed hungrily at his exposed face. Kakashi never considered what people thought of his face honestly but her reaction was gratifying.

He leaned in even closer and her eyes fluttered closed at his proximity. Knowing she was anticipating as much he was, Kakashi wasted no time in connecting their lips. She tasted heavenly and she let out a moan when he gently nipped at her bottom lip. He’s kissed plenty of willing partners, but none excited him the way she did. Her scent and the way her breath hitched when he brought her into his embrace intoxicated him further. It was obvious from the way she was responding; Y/n didn’t have a lot of experience. But he held her face gently and slowly swirled his tongue around hers, guiding her through what might be her first kiss. When she got the hang of it, Kakashi removed his hands from her face to her hips. Not wasting another moment, he gripped her ass tightly and appreciated the thickness he had been admiring for a while. She was an eager little thing and greedy. Every time they separated for a breather; she came back with more intensity than before. It’s like he awakened something, and she was willing to take whatever she could get. Unfortunately for Y/N, he didn’t just want to spend his time kissing. No, he wanted to inspire a very, very naughty section that would light the imagination of every woman in Konoha.

Kakashi pecked her pink, swollen lips one time before removing himself. She looked earnestly at him, trying to reconnect.

“How about you and I head to your room. And I could show you the benefits of a chapter on oral sex,” he huskily whispered.

Apparently, Y/N didn’t need further prompting because she dragged him into her room and swiftly closed the door.

Kakashi spent the rest of the night fulfilling his promising words. And when the second novel of Scarlet Hearts came out, chapter 13 became infamous amongst all. And all the practitioners of oral sex cursed the author because they could not live up to the fantasy that chapter inspired.

#kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi x reader #naruto fanfiction #naruto x reader #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi imagines #kakashi hakate #naruto

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago

Text

Bloodstone | Part 9

Summary: You knew all about the ring your grandmother had told you about and yet when the stone fell from it one fateful day, you weren’t truly prepared for its return, nor who it came back with.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader

Genre: fantasy / romance

Warnings: angst

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

You merely stared back at Namjoon, trying to register if he had actually uttered such a statement. Wasn’t he the one breathing into your ear that he would never leave you just the day before? And now, not only had you woken up in your apartment alone and panicked so much that you had cried all the way to the comic store, the first thing Namjoon said upon seeing you only caused your heartache to deepen.

You never knew love could cut so deep like this.

“Let me explain,” he begged, noticing the heightened despair rolling out from your shaking body in his lap. “I believe Percy existed after the shattering of the stone. From what I’ve read, I’m certain this is how we break free from its hold on us.”

“But you’ll disappear from my world,” you whispered and Namjoon nodded grimly.

“I don’t know how long the timeframe apart will be, but I’m certain after reading the books Yoongi has spread out here that it won’t be the end.”

“It’s such a big risk to take,” you told him, shaking your head. “I don’t want to try.”

“You really don’t have much of a choice, Y/N,” Yoongi spoke up from the doorway, stepping closer. “I’m not sure what he’s suggesting, but if it’s about the shattering of the stone, I think that’s the only way to break free from this trap.”

“There’s no evidence is there that this has worked?” you asked both men, knowing they had each poured their attention over the books before you. You grew hopeful despite the desperate tone. You needed hope. If you couldn’t find even a shred of it in any of this then you knew you wouldn’t be able to agree.

Yoongi glanced at Namjoon and they both shook their heads at the same time. “I mean, I found several anecdotes but every time the shattered stone took place, the human left behind did something tragic or married another instead. There’s been no documented happy ending, no.”

“Yoongi has done some research into the bloodstone outside of this one we know of. Here, why don’t you-”

“I can’t deal with this,” you announced, getting up shakily and distancing yourself. “I can’t talk about this rationally. You’re both suggesting something that could easily mean the end of your existence, Namjoon. You don’t know if you will exist after the stone breaks. And we don’t know for sure if that will even happen so…”

“Stop kidding yourself, Y/N,” Yoongi scolded and you glanced at your best friend through a veil of tears. “There’s enough evidence either way that this won’t end well. Are you going to bury your head in the sand? Maybe with the stone letting Namjoon go free we can hope for the best that he’s out there existing still. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I…” you started, shaking your head. It didn’t matter how you worded it, you felt selfish. You didn’t want anything to change. The stone wasn’t causing Namjoon any harm right now, so why did any of this have to interrupt what you had together? You saw no need for this anxious driven stage in your relationship. You were happy to go back to the moment before you found out what the stone could do.

For a second, as you stared at Namjoon’s saddened expression, you thought of life before him. You hadn’t been suffering then. Sure, you hadn’t felt as enlightened and fulfilled as you did now with his love either. But if it was destined to end, you wished you hadn’t started at all.

“I’m going to go,” you said in a detached tone, turning around dashing out of the store.

You ran to the park you had entered the day before, letting out a bitter breath when you remembered your desperate claims.

There was so much more you wanted to do with Namjoon at your side. Now that was up in the air with his proclamation.

“I forgot how fast you can be when you put your mind to it,” a familiar voice huffed out, and you glanced at Yoongi bent over in front of you, catching his breath. He gave you a wry smile. “Is this your idea of making me exercise other things than my brain and hands over books?”

“I’m not in the mood for your humour, Yoongi.”

“No.” He stood upright and stepped closer. “But I hope you’re in the mood to listen to your longest friend for a moment.”

“Everything’s crumbling around me. I don’t know how to cope with any of it.”

“Is anyone expecting you to? Is anyone asking you to give out all the answers? I can’t even understand the guy yet I can tell he’s trying his best not to leave you either.”

“I wish you could hear him properly,” you lamented with a sigh directed at the heavens. “Then things would be a little easier.”

“I don’t know about that,” Yoongi mused, looking up at the heavens squinting. “I think if we could communicate better, I might start to like him more.”

You glanced at your friend. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“He kind of stepped up better than I’ve ever tried for you. I want to hate him for that,” he confessed and you merely stared at Yoongi’s uneasy expression, realising he was finally saying something about the feelings you knew he harboured at the back of his heart.

“I’d rather you be the best friend I could ever have. Love is so overrated,” you replied and Yoongi chuckled. “It is! Friendship is superior.”

“Says the girl who walked into my shop smiling like the Cheshire cat yesterday. You suit being in love, Y/N.”

“It’s crazy how different one day can make everything,” you mentioned softly, dropping your head as your emotions built up again. “I’m scared I will never see him again.”

Namjoon decided to wait for you back at the apartment. It wasn’t that he didn’t wish to find you himself, but when Yoongi stopped his chase after you and shook his head, Namjoon realised his short appearance in your world meant nothing compared to the lifelong companion you had in Yoongi.

It also gave him further time to contemplate his next steps.

He was scared too. Namjoon knew that was what fuelled your discomfort towards the situation. If he had to exist in another realm than yours then it would be torturous to have tasted just a small portion of his love with you. It hadn’t been enough time.

He wondered if the stone gave each couple a certain amount of days together or if there was a variable in place for each situation. From what he had read, Victoria and Percy had planned both marriage and children within three weeks of knowing one another. The stone probably came with a time limit since the overwhelming emotions accelerated the courtship of each pair compared to usual romance.

It bothered him to be tied to something that took away his control.

Perhaps he would get a chance to love you wholeheartedly without it in his way in the future. Clasping his hands together, he prayed silently for this, hoping the grander divinities would listen out for his plea.

He didn’t want to face the same fate as his father after all this.

Would you cast him aside as Eliza had? Knowing that it didn’t save his father, would you still feel it the better option than the unknown? At least he could live out his remaining lifespan, albeit miserably.

Namjoon would never take another as his bride.

You eventually returned to the apartment, looking destroyed. It seemed even with Yoongi’s best attempts, a depression had taken over your state of mind. Wordlessly, you stared at Namjoon’s half risen posture from the couch at your return before heading down to the bedroom and shutting the door firmly behind you.

He waited on the couch for you to leave the confines of your troubles behind, your quiet movement in the early hours of the morning through the living space alerting him from his unfocused gaze. Blinking several times, he watched as you padded into the kitchen area for a glass of water, his stare unrelenting as you finished in the kitchen and stepped across the room towards him.

With a strangled sob, you crossed the remaining space and fell into his arms, clinging onto him dearly. Namjoon hadn’t been one to cry often over the hundreds of years he had lived. However, with the distraught sounds leaving you, he fell into his own misery, both of you allowing your hearts to mourn what you had.

The knowledge you held now meant there was no return to oblivious bliss anytime soon.

Once the emotions ran their course, you cleared your throat noisily, still curled up within his arms. “Namjoon?”

“Yeah?”

“I won’t let you be poisoned. Eliza didn’t know any better at the time. She thought it was her best option and whilst I don’t hate her for it, I won’t make the same mistake.”

He let out a heavy breath he didn’t even realise he had held. “I couldn’t survive the way my father had.”

“And I won’t be like Victoria either,” you pointed out shakily, finally lifting your head up enough to look at your lover. Giving him a watery smile, you attempted to ease his concerns. “I’ll continue to live. My existence isn’t solely to be consumed with love. I have a lot more to learn and experience.”

“That you do.”

“I don’t want to let go of you anytime soon. But I feel maybe if we address what we’re willing to risk maybe this moment will pass and the sheer amount of pain and fear I feel ridden with will ease.”

Namjoon smiled sadly. “I want the same.”

“As much as it pains me,” you stated, biting at your lip to steady some of your emotions as you placed a hand over his chest, over the stone entirely. “I won’t ever stop loving you. If that love pulls us apart with the shattering of this stone, then know that my heart will leave with you. Please bring it back to me with your return.”

Leaning in to kiss your tear-stained lips gently, Namjoon rested his forehead against yours. “No matter how long it takes me, I will find a way back to you.”

He couldn’t tell if his promise eased you enough or it was from exhaustion, but you soon fell asleep buried into his embrace. Closing his eyes, Namjoon pleaded repetitively to find you once more in this lifetime. Fragments of his previous world flashed before his eyes, his sister calling out his name repeatedly until it felt as if she were in the same room as he was. He snapped his eyes open, aghast to find himself in his studio again, Marian letting out a relieved breath. “About time, brother. Do you know how--”

Her sentence halted when Namjoon threw himself out of the chair he had been slumped onto and moved over to the looking glass upon the wall. Staring into the reflection, he hastily unbuttoned his shirt, feeling at his chest, tears falling from his eyes with how smooth and normal it was.

The stone was now gone.

_________________

Part 10

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