#just a little detail but it feels like a love letter for you to include it idk!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kazumist · 11 hours ago

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A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU REALIZE .ᐟ

✩ — the temptation to indulge yourself in selfishness curses you and caleb. from the day he graduated to the day he returned back alive—it never leaves. greediness is a sin. yet neither of you care, as you love one another in greed.

✩ — includes: caleb x f!mc!reader. fluff, angst, hurt/comfort. childhood friends to strangers (not literally) to yearners to lovers (i love their pipeline bro). wc: 14,670. yes, 14 fucking THOUSAND i went feral over him !!!!

✩ — cw: THIS FIC IS A REIMAGINE, MEANING IT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FROM THE FOLLOWING - stage observer, exclusive aftertaste, endless summer, lucid dream (myth), hidden waves, homecoming wings (both 1 & 2) and the events that happen in this fic is HEAVILY based from these memories mentioned (i put my own twist into it !!!). caleb is CRAAAZY like how he usually is. :3 mentions a bit of violence and food. a biiiit suggestive but i honestly think it's not that bad. this fic is semi-proofread, meaning there still could be some minor errors that i might have overlooked.

FIRST: GRADUATION SURPRISES (WAIT FOR ME TO COME BACK).

The familiar sounds of rustling papers and flipping through the pages of dusty books echoed in Caleb’s bedroom. As you flip through another book, inspecting whether it should go to the “stay with Gran” or “go with Caleb” pile in the room, an envelope with a pattern of apples slips out and lands on your lap.

Is this a love letter? You wondered, grabbing it and flipping it around to check the details. But the thing is—Caleb doesn’t accept love letters. Yet this one is kept in a book as if Caleb were using it as a bookmark. You huff at the thought—he doesn’t even use the lucky charm I made him back then, even though I worked really hard on that.

Checking around Caleb’s desk, you confirm that there’s nothing as feminine as the envelope in your hand.

Could it be from someone that he likes?

That thought alone made your stomach churn. You didn’t even hear the door opening until you felt a suddenly cold feeling against your cheek. It was Caleb, lightly pressing a soda against your face. “Got that tired, pipsqueak?” He asks, opening the can of soda before handing it to you again.

The soft pop! of the can opening reminded you that Caleb didn’t know about the envelope, so you hid it from him and took the soda from his hand. “How thoughtful of you to open the can for me. Bet you captured a lot of hearts with that attitude, huh?” You told him before taking a sip.

You were looking at his back when you were drinking, watching him fix the suitcase that’s currently open on his bed. When you lower the drink and put it on the table, Caleb stops and gives you a strange look. “I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything mixed in that soda I gave you. Are you okay up there?” He replies.

“Hey! Rude much?” You furrowed your brows at him but that quickly went away as you suddenly felt his hand pinching your cheek. “Owww! shtop it!” The words that come out of your moment aren’t really that coherent. “Then stop talking nonsense.”

Caleb never keeps secrets from me—why is that envelope an exception?

When the day of Caleb’s graduation approached, he leaned down toward you as you helped him fix his tie.

“You know, these past few days I’ve been reflecting,” you told him. He teasingly raised an eyebrow at you for a moment. “That’s new. What were you reflecting on?” He asks. “Now that you’re graduating... Well, I just thought that I didn’t need to know everything, Caleb. However, if you ever meet someone more important than me, then you absolutely have to tell me.” avoiding his gaze, you loosened your grip on his tie, but you didn’t let go. You could faintly feel the rhythm of his steady heartbeat against your hands.

“Who could be more important?”

“... I don’t know. You ask yourself that question.” You take a deep breath. “You’ll definitely meet a lot of new people soon. New allies, new friends, maybe even...” Maybe even a girlfriend. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it. “What? You mean a girlfriend?” Sometimes you despise how Caleb could easily read you like a book.

Your silence was the only answer he needed. “I won't get a girlfriend.”

“What?”

“Caleb, you’re the last one we’re waiting for. The commencement speeches are about to be given,” his classmate says from behind him. Yet Caleb doesn’t move an inch, keeping his gaze focused on you. He doesn’t seem to care about the commencement speeches, almost approaching the scheduled program, and is only concerned about you.

“I won't get a girlfriend,” he repeats, emphasizing himself this time. “You and Gran are enough for me. I don't really have the energy to care about other people. So you don’t have to worry, I won't." You let go of his tie and he pulls away and stands up straight. Before he takes his leave, he doesn’t forget to ruffle your hair, which you slap his hand away for. He lets out a small laugh at your reaction. “Gotta go now. Wait for me to come back.”

As soon as Caleb started his speech, he seemed unreachable to you. Like he was so far—out of your arm’s length unlike before—but maybe it was about time that your arm got sore. Will he not get a girlfriend? You couldn’t help but think. “My speech would’ve ended here, but before I went onstage, someone told me something strange. It had to do with what’s “important”.”

You didn’t have to be a genius to know that he was referring to you. Your eyes met Caleb’s despite the large crowd that’s watching him right now. He flashed you a small smile and continued. “She said that after graduation, I would meet more people and experience new things. Maybe I'd meet someone who is more “important” than her.

But I believe that it ultimately comes down to choice. People only yearn for the future because they haven’t encountered someone they truly cherish. I consider myself lucky. I already have someone very important to me, someone who I can't live without.

I wish everybody could have this luck. Thank you, and happy graduation.” The audience applauds for him, some even whistling (his batchmates, perhaps) yet Caleb holds his gaze at you. Neither of you broke eye contact for a long moment. As the most anticipated moment of tossing their graduation caps in the air occurred; Caleb took it as his cue to leave the stage and join the crowd below him. The crowd becomes bigger, and you find it difficult to navigate yourself through it.

Nearby, you see Caleb push through the midst of the crowd. He seems anxious as if he were searching for someone. “Caleb!” You called out to him. He looks in your direction; the crowd seems to have lessened, and you make a run for him. “Hey, be careful! You—” You interrupt Caleb by throwing your arms around him.

Standing on your tiptoes, you gently pull his face down and press a kiss to his cheek before he could even react. Caleb’s eyes widen at your actions, his brain running a million thoughts as seconds pass by. The soft feeling of your lips pressing against his cheek is something he could never forget in his life.

A selfish act on your part—a shocking one to Caleb.

“Congratulations on getting through college! There’s your gift—you can’t find a girlfriend now, Caleb!” You say, sticking out your tongue at him before handing him a bouquet that you prepared beforehand.

“Actually… when you were packing, I stumbled upon this love letter that’s in an envelope with some apples decorated on it. I'm not forgiving you for keeping it a secret for me but I'll let it slide just this once because your speech was good.” You then reached out to take Caleb’s cap from his head, wearing it on your head instead.

But Caleb stays unusually quiet. His ears are red and he swears they’re probably burning even more as you two bask in the sunlight. “...Caleb? Are you okay there?” You ask him, waving a hand in front of him to get his attention. Your hand then tries to reach out to his ear but Caleb grabs your wrist before you can do so.

He gently lowers your hand, leans down, and covers his face with his other hand right after. “Caleb?” You move closer to him but he flicks your forehead just as you did so. “Ouch! Hey!”

“This... love letter you’ve mentioned. It was tucked in my copy of flight detector mechanics, right? And it was in an envelope with an apple pattern on it,” he then says. “I think so. You remember it well, huh?” You don’t know why that disturbed you a bit.

Caleb pinches your cheek again and you repeatedly slap his arm to make him stop. He doesn’t. “Silly girl. That’s the lucky charm you gave me for my exams. The original envelope got ink on it so I replaced it with a new one.”

Oh.

“So... it wasn't... a love letter? Like at all?”

Embarrassment courses through your veins. What the actual fuck? You thought. But before you could think about it even more, Caleb’s hand sneaked around your waist and pulled you to stand beside him. You two are suddenly faced by what seems like a photojournalist for the academy’s newspaper.

As the photojournalist was finding the right focus for the picture, Caleb leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“I have never kept a secret from you, not even once. And I don't plan on doing so anytime soon.”

SECOND: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME. NOT LIKE THIS.

The explosion pushes you back, sending a ringing sound through your ears. You slowly opened your eyes, your vision slightly covered in all of the dust floating around. But once your vision clears, your eyes widen in shock at the sight before you.

The home that you and Caleb once grew up in is now burning in flames. Gran is still in there; oh my god, Caleb—Caleb just went in a few moments ago. Mustering up all your strength, you push yourself up, hissing at the sudden pain you feel in your ankle. I probably twisted it when the explosion happened, shit. But you didn’t let that stop you.

You limped towards the burning house in front of you but suddenly you felt someone pulling you back. You looked at who it was and saw that the firefighters had just arrived and were now preparing to put the flames away. “Ma’am, it’s not safe to go near the scene. Please stand back.”

The firefighter’s grip on you was tight. Struggling to break from his grip, you replied. “No, I—I can't. Gran is still in there, please—he's still in there. I have to save them, I—” Panic took over you as you noticed that there were now firefighters who were holding water hoses and putting the fire away.

“There are firefighters right now going inside to check on them; we need to ask you to stay put as the flames are still being put out.”

Still feeling dazed from the explosion, your head throbs. You stumbled in your steps, feeling your knees getting weaker. The firefighter who was holding you back caught you before you fell to your knees and you couldn’t do anything. You just follow his lead in bringing you to an ambulance stationed a few steps away.

A year then passes after that incident. You still remember the day the city hall sent you a text and confirmed Gran and Caleb’s deaths, asking you to pick up their death certificates as soon as you can. You still get nightmares from that day. It was all so… sudden. One moment you were just walking with Caleb, and the moment he stepped inside, everything was gone in a blink of an eye.

How could you possibly move on from experiencing something so heartbreaking?

THIRD: JUST HOW CRUEL AND UNFAIR CAN YOU BE?

“I have never kept a secret from you, not even once. And I don't plan on doing so anytime soon.”

Caleb’s words during his graduation from the Aerospace Academy suddenly echo in your head as soon as the restraints on your wrists release you from the chair. Looking back now, just how ironic was it for him to say that?

“Surprised? I'm sure that it’s been a while, but you already forgot about me?” He chuckles, reaching a hand to ruffle your hair just like he did before. You slapped his hand away from your head—you had no idea what was happening right now. He had been terrifying just moments ago, and now he was acting like nothing had happened.

Acting as if he hadn’t left you alone a year ago.

“You—Caleb, you’re dead! I had to fucking watch you die in that explosion!” You hadn’t intended to raise your voice. But with Caleb’s sudden reappearance in your life, how else were you supposed to feel?

Caleb’s expression had amusement written all over it. “If I were dead, then who would be standing in front of you right now?” He asks as if he was teasing you.

And that pissed you off even more. You stood up to stand in front of him, and when Caleb reached out to you yet again, you slapped his hand away. Frantically, your eyes scanned him—his lips, his cheeks, his hair, his eyes—you couldn’t believe it. Could it be that he really evaded death back then?

“C'mon, pipsqueak, don’t be like that.” The second you heard pipsqueak roll off of his tongue, it almost made you nauseous. He attempts to get closer to you again, and this time you let him, as you are still trying to process it all. Instead of ruffling your hair, he gently patted your head this time. as if he was trying to soothe you.

It would’ve worked—it should’ve worked. Caleb always knew how to soothe you when you were in pain. He always knew how to ease it. But you never would’ve thought that one day he would be the one causing it.

How can he ease the pain like he did before when he’s the one who caused it this time?

“I’m sorry. Did I scare you?” He whispers low as one hand cradles your cheek and the other pulls you slightly closer by the waist. You didn’t know what to say; your mind was blank. All you could do was stare into his eyes, hoping that he would be able to read you just like he did before.

"You... you left me.” You managed to whisper back somehow. “I—I still don’t understand. How are you so fine with this? Did you just fucking think that I'd be ecstatic to see you? Is that the reaction you were expecting, Caleb?” You burst, pulling yourself away from him but Caleb’s grip on you was tight.

“Let go of me!” You yelled, punching his chest as you struggled. The overwhelming weight of everything that had happened took over, tears prickling and blurring your vision—perhaps it was rage, perhaps it was grief—you didn’t know. “I didn't leave you, pipsqueak.” he then says.

Liar.

Caleb never lied to you. He never broke a promise either. Yet why does it all feel void now? “You did,” you hissed at him. “How could you be so—cruel, Caleb? Leaving me in the dark like this, I could've helped you! How can you be so fucking unfair?”

“How could you be so... so selfish?”

You finally broke free from his grip and took a step back but Caleb’s reflexes were quick as he grabbed ahold of your arm immediately.

The loud sound of your palm hitting his cheek echoed in the interrogation room. He let his head face the side for a moment; you didn’t know what to expect. You could feel Caleb’s grip on your arm tightening painfully. But he just pulls you closer again and you just glare at him this time.

Caleb then leaned into your ear. “I didn't leave you,” he repeats, his voice weaker this time. He sounded so… vulnerable.

You held back a sob at that, letting a few tears escape as they rolled down your cheeks. Caleb pulls back, returning his hand to gently caress your cheek. You felt the cold feeling of rubber from his gloves as he was wiping away your tears. “It’s okay. Let it out. I'm here now.”

Wrapping your arms around him, you cried against the fabric of his uniform. Caleb lets you, wrapping one arm around your waist and his other hand cradling your head. The sound of your sobs wrecked him.

“I thought you were dead.” You felt Caleb press a soft kiss in your hair as soon as he heard you. “It’s okay, I'm back,” he replies.

“And I'll always be by your side. I promise.”

FOURTH: THOUGHT THAT I KNEW, NOW I DON’T HAVE A CLUE. WHO ARE YOU?

When the wound on your knee reopened, Caleb gently set you on the couch and started to tend to your knee. You could see his eyes soften as he did so. “The injured cat you brought home—do you recall it? To prevent it from escaping without making noise, I attached a collar with a bell.”

You could feel your patience running thin by the second. “I don't want to hear it,” but with the help of Caleb’s evol, you couldn’t move your knee an inch. He leans closer to you, and his voice lowers itself by an octave. “Maybe I should put a collar around your neck too, to keep you from running away, hm?”

“Is this how you’re going to protect me? I just need to glue myself by your side at all times?”

“I know that it sounds a bit unfair, but...” Caleb grabbed a bracelet and wrapped it around your wrist. It quickly assessed your vital signs. Caleb clicks his tongue in annoyance at the results. “But because of that monster, your wounds are infected.” He then grabs ahold of your wrist, tugging it closer to him.

“Is there a way for you to run around without getting injured?” You scoff at him. “I've had enough of your protection, Caleb.”

The man kneeling in front of you was then sent into deep thought after you said those words. He lets out a deep breath before speaking up again. “If being with me brings you this much pain, then just endure three more days.” He immediately gets up but you ask him before he can take his leave. “What are you going to do?”

“...Tie up loose ends. I just need three days, and all of this will be over.”

Three days later, the news flashing on the television suddenly announced that the lockdown in Skyhaven had been lifted. You automatically knew who was behind this. “The fleet will return to the deepspace tunnel after all of this. You’ll be safe for now,” Caleb then says, turning off the television as soon as you get the news.

The sounds of raindrops against the window and thunder were all you could hear now. “So technically, in other terms, you’re just going to leave again and not utter a word about it.” That wasn’t a question. Caleb doesn’t reply; instead, he grabs your wrist again. “Let’s have one last meal together before I leave."

You pulled yourself away from his grip. “So what? Now I have to listen to the colonel’s orders even when it comes to having my meals?” You walked over to the couch, taking a seat there instead. Caleb follows and sits in front of you with an apple in his hand. “You can be mad, but you shouldn’t neglect your health.”

“I'm not mad.”

“Growing up, we knew each other so well. Better than anyone, even. I could see through your lies when you blink. When you bit your lip, I knew you were upset over something.” His voice was soft and filled with reminiscence. “If that’s the case, what am I thinking about now?” A challenge aimed at him.

You could sense a brewing change in Caleb. It’s like the image you had of him during your childhood up until before he became the fleet’s colonel was slowly drowning away from you. “I wonder, how could you turn into someone I could hardly even recognize?” Your question had a hint of hurt in it.

“You think I have some chip implanted inside of me, right? And now, to you, I'm no longer who I was supposed to be.” The possibility of a chip being implanted inside of him sends a chill down your spine. What if he did have a chip inside of him? Caleb’s hand then reaches out to your cheek before you can form another thought about it. “What if I told you I was always like this?”

Caleb's face becomes stern. "The people who want to hurt you should just disappear. You’re only safe when you’re with me," you shake your head in a display of defiance. "I don’t want to live like this, Caleb! I don’t need you—"

The air between them is electric as he takes a step closer. Your back is pressed against the couch as Caleb’s figure towers over you. Fear had started to grow inside of you by this point. He then asks in a hushed, almost beseeching voice, "You don’t need me? Is that what you think?" He let himself fall closer, balancing by stretching out his arm on your right side.

“Fine then, tell me. What do you want?” You struggled to break your wrist free from his grip. “Let me go!” He doesn’t—he ignores. “We can return to Linkon if that’s what you wish. If you want to go back to the past, then I'll rebuild our old house, and we can move in together. If one house isn’t enough, I'll build you a whole maze. I'll decorate it with everything you want, and it’ll be the most beautiful garden; no one will ever find you.”

“I'll protect you forever.”

You let out a shaky sigh at his words. This was not the Caleb you knew from before. This was a different Caleb—and the painful part of everything about this? You thought you knew Caleb. After all, he said so himself. Growing up, you two knew each other so well. But why is it now that the man who is currently restraining you on the couch of his home seems so distant and unfamiliar from the Caleb you knew?

“Caleb… you can’t just—” you pause, licking your lips as you thought of the right words to say. “Look, you’re very important to me, and no one could ever replace you.”

“Really now?” His voice was laced with doubt. “I've been choking and enduring day after day for years, holding myself back. However, now... I've had enough of those games.”

Who are you?

“Remember this, okay? From now on, I'll always be by your side. It’s okay. I'll always be there for you, and I won't hurt you.”

The far childhood memory appeared in your dreams last night. It almost feels like deja vu was occurring to you with irony in it as well. Guess you forgot all the things that you told me. So much for saying all of that when we were 12. you thought.

When a sudden gust of wind hit you, you snapped back into reality. “It feels like every time we say goodbye, I'm always sending you off,” you told him. Caleb is about to reach out his hand (to ruffle your hair again? perhaps), but he stops himself. He lowers his hand instead and replies. “I guess it won’t be a painful experience this time.”

“All right. I'll be going now.” You shift your gaze to the ground as a lump forms in your throat when Caleb bids his farewell. “Actually, wait.” You raise your head to look at him. “can you... promise me something?” He feels selfish for even having the guts to ask for such a thing from you.

Does he deserve to ask that?

Caleb honestly thinks he’s unworthy.

“Promise me that you’ll eat on time and look after yourself,” he says. “Okay,” you softly let out.

“I promise.”

As you were on the way home, you and Tara caught up for a short moment. but the call ends abruptly due to Tara’s boss calling so suddenly. Putting back your phone in your pocket, you felt something strange inside of it. You pull it out to get a better look at it. A kid's handwriting was evident with the vibrant colors of crayons used to write it.

Forgiveness coupon for Caleb. Valid for 100 years.

A sudden wave of sadness crashed inside of you as you could feel tears prickling your eyes again. “Oh my god. Caleb, you dummy... ” You find yourself laughing pathetically at the piece of paper in your hand as tears slowly slide down your face.

And this is the moment you decide that you don’t want to lose Caleb for a second time.

FIFTH: HE WAS AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY YOU LOST HIM.

While visiting the grocery store that you and Caleb used to visit a lot after school as teens, a wave of nostalgia hits you. The owner is getting ready to shut it down, which bummed you out, but you offered to assist with the cleanup.

Your mind wanders to Caleb as soon as you hear the sound of airplanes overhead. Entering the garden behind the business, which you and he used to spend time in when they were teenagers, you recall telling Caleb about the hydrangeas there. Because the hydrangeas bloomed for so long, Caleb had explained that it was named Endless Summer.

A shelf becomes unbalanced close by, and as you try to put it back where it belongs, Caleb's arm comes up behind you to stabilize it.

You haven’t seen Caleb or even talked to him after you parted ways in Skyhaven. He sometimes sent you short texts but as soon as you were about to respond to them, he vanished into thin air each time.

It was awkward, to say the least.

While you were trapped between him and the shelf, he leaned in. "Even if there were three of you, this place wouldn't be cleaned up in time," he says. You find yourself unable to meet his gaze. So instead, your eyes look anywhere else except his eyes—he was wearing more casual clothes today and he had a luggage bag next to him. “What are you doing here?” You ask, changing the topic.

“Business trip. I also just happen to be passing by,” he says, putting his arm back to his side. You move away instantly at the given distance. You give Caleb another once-over, suddenly getting reminded of the times he’d come home for summer break with how he looked.

It’s like he’ll be leaving again so soon.

“When are you returning to Skyhaven?” you ask again. You have asked Caleb this question multiple times. But it feels bitter on your tongue as soon as it leaves your lips. And the Caleb standing in front of you... isn’t who he used to be. Caleb feigns hurt at your question, “I just got back, and you’re already asking when I’m leaving?”

“That’s not what I…” Caleb raises his hand a bit, and you notice. But he lowers it again. Why? What was he about to do? “Well, I’m pretty sure you don’t live in this neighborhood. So what brings you here?”

“Would you believe it if I said I was also passing by? I found out the owner was closing the store down and I thought I would help.” Caleb chuckles at that and glances at the shelf nearby. He makes a jab at your height. And when you snark a reply back at him, he raises his hand again, going for your hair—yet, he pauses.

His hand stays in the air for a quick second before he reaches out to grab a book from the top shelf to play it off. “You still need help to tidy this place up, right? I’ll lend a hand.”

“And I’ll be heading back to Skyhaven tomorrow morning.” Oh.

“All right then.”

There was some sort of tension in the air as you and Caleb faced away from each other. You both made yourselves busy with your own things within the store.

You hated feeling awkward with Caleb. It was never supposed to be awkward with him. Yet with what has happened recently, perhaps change was bound to happen. However, were you even ready to accept change in the first place?

No clue.

You both head to the garden after the cleaning is complete. No one has been caring for the flowers, but they haven't altered much from what you can remember of them. The area has been taken over by leaves and vines—Caleb leaves to find the hose.

Your phone vibrated when he left; you checked it and saw that Tara had left you a voice message. Clicking the play button to listen to it, you heard Tara’s voice immediately. “Hey! There’s a new shooting range open in Azure Square. Do you wanna go for some rounds later? You know, for fun?” Before you could give a decline to her offer, Caleb comes back with the hose.

“Did something happen?” he asks. “Oh, a colleague just asked me if I wanted to hang out in Azure Square later.”

“If you wanna go, then I’ll be heading back to Skyhaven. I’ll drop you off at Azure Square since it’s on the way.”

You paused when you heard him. Why is he assuming that I’ll accept Tara’s offer? I was planning on declining in the first place. “There's no need,” you tell him. He looks away, shifting his gaze to the hydrangeas in front of you both. “Would it be... inconvenient if your colleague met me?”

Grabbing the hose from him, you faced it at him and quickly turned on the water. It splashes onto Caleb’s chin and he flinches at the sudden contact. You watch as the water droplets slide down his neck and soak the neckline of his muscle shirt. They soon reach the necklace hanging around his neck. Was Caleb’s neck always so…detailed? You wondered.

Snap out of it.

You shot him a glare. “Caleb, I never said I was leaving in the first place.” Oh.

Before the awkward tension could return, you speak up again. “Aren’t you gonna water the plants?” The water hose is off as you offer it to Caleb. He kneels down to water the hydrangeas but when he glances at you, his gaze visibly softens. “Okay, you can stop glaring at me now. How about you water the plants this time?”

The familiar sound of a phone camera shuttering makes you glance at Caleb. “Huh? Did you take a picture of the white hydrangea?” He looks away, avoiding your gaze since he got caught. The picture, where the said white hydrangea is nearby the edge of it, has most of its focus on you.

“I rarely see things like these in Skyhaven. Even in my dreams, I could hear gunshots and blaring alarms.”

I also dream of you. a lot—perhaps even more after you left Skyhaven. Our last interaction before we parted troubles me in my sleep. Did you hate me for that? I hope you didn’t. I pray that you don’t—because I don’t know what I would do if you did hate me.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Someone calls out from inside the store. “That must be a customer. I’ll go take a look,” you told him. He nodded as you left the garden area.

When you return, you see Caleb napping. You liked it when Caleb slept, for he was so beautiful yet so unaware of it as he did so. (He was as beautiful as the day you lost him back then—but is it truly the same person from all those years ago before you?)

He had a book resting on his abdomen but his brows were furrowed and he kept stirring in his sleep. His breathing slowly started to become heavy and you couldn’t help but feel so helpless at him. “You can’t even relax in your dreams, Caleb? ” you asked.

He groans in response, and a hand reaches out to soothe him by his forehead. He groans even more, brows furrowing themselves even more. Your hand then moves down to his cheek and your thumb rubs against his under eyes. Caleb then grabs your wrist even though his eyes are still closed. “Don’t go…”

His eyes slowly flutter open but they stay half-lidded. “Don’t leave me alone.” Caleb leans in (whether it was to hug you or kiss you, you honestly can’t figure it out)—everything is happening so quickly, but you lightly push him away to wake him out of his senses. “Caleb…?” you softly call out to him.

“...Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Suddenly, you felt something sting your eye. You rubbed it with your knuckles, trying to get it out. “It's okay. I just got something in my eye.” You then feel Caleb’s hands grab yours, gently pulling it away from your eye. “Let me see.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”You asked him. A bitter smile tugs at him as he flicks his gaze from your lips and back to your eyes. “Don’t blink, okay?”He softly asks instead. He avoided the question.

Both of his palms feel cool as he gently grabs your face. Your eyes didn’t leave his at all when he blew your eye. The short distance has your heart hammering in your chest; your faces are only inches apart; one small nudge is all it takes and—what were you even thinking?

That would never happen. Not with Caleb.

His other hand places itself on top of yours. His hands had always been bigger than yours—and without even looking at it, you could feel Caleb’s palm take over yours. An electric feeling when your fingers brushed against the heel of his palm. With one last rub of his thumb across your cheek, Caleb pulls away.

He pulls away as if he were restraining himself.

“Don’t move,” you say as you move closer to his face so you can softly blow a petal from his hair. "You know, the scent of endless summers can bring people sweet dreams for a whole night." He catches the petal in his hand and laughs. As you stand to leave, Caleb grabs your hand before you can get far.

"But... there aren’t any endless summers in Skyhaven.”

Skyhaven doesn’t have you.

SIXTH: LIKE SOME KIND OF MAGNET, YOU’RE A MYSTIC FORCE.

You don’t know if you’re hallucinating or what.

“Caleb? You didn’t message that you’d be visiting Linkon again,” you say. “I thought you’d be busy.” And just like the last time you saw each other, Caleb encounters you again as you were lending a hand to help someone. This time it was an old lady who had lost her bracelet and you helped her look for it.

When you returned the bracelet to her (Caleb trailing behind), you decided to ask. “Ma’am, this bracelet looks quite unique. Have you worn this for a long time?” The old lady in the wheelchair lets out a relaxed sigh. “Yes, someone special gave it to me back in the day. I never had the heart to throw it away.”

“Was it from a friend or a lover?”

“Let’s just say... a friend who never became a lover. If I were braver, perhaps it could have happened. When you reach my age, regret will be your biggest fear.” The elderly lady soon bids her farewell but she doesn’t leave without asking Caleb a question. “Young man, you got here quite early. Why did you just stand so far and watch her?”

“I—” The old lady then takes her leave. Caleb finds the right words to say as I look at him. “Well, I’ll get going now,” he says, embarrassment laced in his tone. “Leaving so soon? You haven’t even done anything yet.”

“Correction: I did one thing—I saw you.” As he turns to walk away, you ask him. “It’s getting late; are there still any trains boarding for Skyhaven? ” Caleb doesn’t turn around. “I can catch the last one.” His insistence to leave stung a bit. “Do you want to count how many words you’ve said to me so far?” That’s where he stops.

“We can’t keep doing this forever, Caleb.”

He felt so close yet so far. And whatever is going on between the two of you now has to stop. Because you don’t think either of you could keep this push-and-pull method up. In one second, you’d be close—and in a blink of an eye, you’d be meters apart. It’s enough to make you spiral. He sighs, still not facing you. “I'm just afraid that... It might make you uncomfortable.” That I might make you uncomfortable.

“If it did, I wouldn’t have asked you to stay, dummy.” Caleb finally turns around; his eyes had an unfamiliar look in them, one that’s full of hope (maybe a mix of yearning too). “Do you want me to stay?” He softly asks.

“If you leave for Skyhaven now, you’ll get home past midnight. You can stay at my place for the night.”

“Pepper, please,” Caleb says as he works beside you in your kitchen. You turn to him with the ground pepper on a dish when all of a sudden Caleb sneezes. You laugh at him as he regains himself. “It still makes you sneeze, huh?”

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” You gave him a dramatic gasp. “I did not! Don't slander your sous chef."

“I remember when you tried to cook for the first time. I kept hearing your sneezes from the living room.” Caleb chuckles at the memory. “You were kinder back then, offering me tissues, checking up on me. Wonder where that version of you went?” You grab a few tissues from the counter and try to help him wipe his face clean.

But Caleb grabs the tissues from you instead. “I got it,” he says, stepping back and putting some distance between you two. Suddenly, you remember what the old lady said earlier.

“You got here quite early. Why did you just stand so far and watch her?”

He was ready to leave after seeing me, even just for a few minutes. Is he avoiding me?

You don’t want Caleb to avoid you. That’s one of the last things you wanted. It gives you a different type of hurt when Caleb pulls himself from being close to you—especially when you’re used to everything but being far from him. You’re scared of a rift forming between the two of you. What if the worst comes to worst and you...

You don’t want to finish that thought.

Caleb seems to know what’s going on inside your head with your silence hanging in the air. “That's why I don't want to stay,” he suddenly says. “I can’t stand seeing you between a rock and a hard place.”

“...but I don’t feel that way at all.” You move towards your phone to play the playlist Caleb shared with you back then. “You liked these songs, right? ” You gave him a smile. He just nods in return. “Wash your hands; dinner’s ready.” Distant.

That’s what Caleb feels right now—distant.

And that makes your stomach churn.

As you and Caleb ate dinner, your phone started ringing—another voicemail. But from whom? Caleb takes a glance at your lit screen and seems to have noticed the sender’s ID. “Which friend is that? I don’t recall you mentioning him.” You don’t know what tone he’s using for that but he seems suspicious, if anything. “Hey, I heard you encountered a self-aware wanderer earlier today. Don’t forget to tell me about it when you’re free, okay?” the voice of your colleague said.

You flip your phone, not wanting to reply right now but Caleb notices it (of course he did). “Wouldn’t your friend be upset if you don’t reply to him right away? …Are you two close?” Caleb asks. You still don’t have a clue what he’s insinuating with his questions. But he looks quite bothered as his brows are slightly furrowed and his lips are pursed.

“Caleb, that’s a colleague.” You open your phone to show Caleb the proof. “See for yourself.” But Caleb doesn’t even bother looking and slides your phone back to you. “The food is getting cold; we should continue eating.”

The food tasted bland to your senses due to the unexplainable feelings brewing inside of you.

“Do you remember what the old lady said earlier?” Caleb asks. Taking a sip from the apple soda in your hand, you sat next to him on the couch. “I saw you were busy with evacuating people, so I didn’t really want to get in the way.”

“but the crowd was gone by two and I saw you at four. So... you arrived earlier than the lady mentioned.” Why didn’t you say so? you wanted to ask. “I guess we don’t have that many topics for small talk now.”

“Yeah. Excuses and lies, however, have seemed to increase. Don't you think? ” Caleb avoids your gaze. “People regret things they didn’t do. But sometimes, they also regret the things they did.” Caleb stays silent before replying. “People are full of contradictions,” he says.

“For a long, long time, I have known what I want.” You. He almost says it right after.

“But what if it causes you pain? If you don’t get any response, would you still go on?”

“Do you really think I haven’t struggled?” Perhaps he was mocking himself or he was mocking your question; you couldn’t point it out. It was your turn to be silent. “I’m well aware of what I’m doing,” Caleb then says.

“What about you? Are you aware?”

Despite sitting close to him, you can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye. But you could feel Caleb’s gaze burning holes into you.

The rest of the night felt endless to you.

As the morning came, Caleb was nowhere to be found.

The blanket that you gave him to use last night lies neatly folded on the side of the couch, and that was the only trace left of his presence. “caleb…?” you call out.

You can’t leave me, not like this. You can’t just leave me without saying goodbye again.

The sudden knock on the door echoed in your apartment. You ran to the door hoping that it was Caleb—and just to your luck, it is. “I knew you’d be up around this hour.” You scan all over his face. There was sweat trickling near his brow and he had a towel wrapped around his neck. “I... I thought you left.”

“I was planning to. But then I remembered that I hadn’t made your breakfast yet so here I am again.”

“Oh… really?”

“Not really.”

What?

Caleb makes his way to your kitchen without another word. You stood blankly by your doorway as you let him in. His demeanor ever since you two reunited again has strangely changed. “What do you want to eat? I’ll do the cooking,” he asks. You snapped out of your thoughts and closed the door.

“Anything, as long as you make it.”

“Did you have trouble sleeping last night?” you asked him while you were in the kitchen.

“I didn’t. I find it hard to sleep when I’m tossing and turning. But I'm used to it,” he replies, washing his hands before grabbing two eggs to crack. the sounds of the kitchen being used mixed with his voice that’s a bit raspy. “Have you never lost sleep over someone before?” Caleb suddenly asked back.

Wait. He says he was used to it… has he always been like this? He was met with silence as you were deep in thought. “Silence is always the best answer; perhaps that’s a no.” You still didn’t utter a word.

Caleb then cracks two eggs in a bowl. “Why aren’t you asking questions now, just like before?” He then grabbed a pair of chopsticks and started mixing them together. “Why didn’t you ask me who kept me up all night?”

“...I don’t want you to have so much on your mind whenever you’re with me.” What does that mean? I’m just spewing nonsense. “You say that as if I don’t want to end this sooner.” The toaster then pops the toasted bread out and you reach towards the cupboard to grab a plate. You set one down and as you were reaching for another one, Caleb’s hand meets yours and holds in place on the cupboard’s handle.

The cupboard shuts closed as he speaks. “Were you... avoiding my question? Were you afraid that I’d say it was you? Or were you scared that I’d say... It wasn’t you?” He says it slowly, emphasizing himself in his questions. “Shouldn’t you be making breakfast? Focus,” you told him, removing your hand from the cupboard above and starting to move away.

But Caleb placed his hand in your way, refusing to let you go. “Are you going to help me or not?” You turn around and now you’re properly facing him with your back against the counter behind you.

He grabs something from your back and reads it out loud. “Soda recipe: 1.5 ounces of apple syrup. Caleb’s favorite type.” He smirked at you as he read it. “So you did learn to make it for me after all. I never hear you say you miss me; do I take this as a sign that you do?” He flips the small piece of paper to show you.

“...whatever makes you happy, I guess.” You push him away by the shoulder and start making your exit from the kitchen. Caleb grabs your wrist before you could leave. He pulls you a bit closer to him, his other hand reaching to cradle your face. “You didn’t sleep that well either last night, did you?” He takes a step forward; you take a step back. It repeats until your back hits a dead end. Crap.

How ironic that you didn’t like how Caleb was running away from you yesterday yet now you’re the one running away from him? Just like a mystic force—a magnet, to be exact—Caleb keeps pulling you in. Again and again and again.

“For whom?”

“For…”

“No rush. Take your time to come up with a reason.” He places your hand on his chest and grabs for an apple from behind you. “but right now... If delicious things aren’t eaten in time, they become stale.”

Time.

It was always about time, wasn’t it? It makes you wonder if you and Caleb had enough time. You once thought that time ran out for you both once—but now that he’s back... What exactly were you supposed to expect? supposed to do?

Do you indulge in your selfishness and give in to temptation?

Or do you pull away from it?

Caleb nears the apple to your face; you use your other hand to pull it closer but Caleb pulls himself along with it and now the distance between you is even shorter than it was before. You could feel his hand brushing against your hair above your shoulder, holding himself steady as he leans in.

He lowers his hand to hold yours, as you’re the only one holding the apple now. Caleb leans in further and just as your lips were about to touch—

He leans down and bites the apple in your hand instead.

The interaction you had with Caleb in your kitchen made you realize that you started looking forward to Caleb’s sudden visits to Lincoln without even realizing it.

“I’m well aware of what I’m doing.”

“What about you? Are you aware?"

You suddenly get it now.

When you accompany Caleb to the station, you don’t easily leave him alone. It was like when he was in college all over again when you’d follow him because you were afraid he’d get lost (but if you both knew that you were more prone to losing your way sometimes).

The spare key in your pocket had started to grow warm with how much you fiddled with it. “When will you be visiting Linkon again?” Caleb stays silent at that. “Does your silence mean you don’t want to visit anytime soon...?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because if you haven’t even thought of seeing me again, then all those things you said... aren’t really important.” Caleb steps closer and leans down a bit to your eye level. “Look, pipsqueak, I’m not the type to hold back when I like something.” He was right; you knew that fact very well. Caleb sighs before standing up straight again.

“Why would I want to leave when, compared to you, I’m better off acting as if I don’t care?” he says. You lift the spare key from your pocket, hearing the familiar sounds of metal hitting against each other as it shook from the movement. You grabbed Caleb’s hand and laid the warm keys on his palm.

“Then find a way to come back home.”

His breath hitched at your words.

“You don’t need an excuse to see me, Caleb. You know I’d always welcome you home with open arms.”

He puts the keys in his pocket with a smile before grabbing your shoulders and turning you around. “You should go back now. Let me watch you leave,” he says. You attempted to turn your head back at him in protest but he teasingly used his index finger to stop you.

“Don’t look back. If you do, it’ll just be harder for me to leave you here.”

SEVENTH: CAN YOU CARRY A LITTLE OF THIS SIN TOO?

The blinding beams of sunlight shone upon you, stirring you awake. Slowly opening your eyes, you took in your surroundings. You were currently in a familiar bedroom, and the other side of the bed was empty when you woke up. While your head was slightly pounding, you also had no recollection of what happened the previous night.

You suddenly hear the door creaking open. Shooting a glance at who it could be, you saw a man dressed in some sort of military uniform taking strides towards you. “Huh..?” you say, voice still groggy after just waking up. He puts a hand on your forehead, seemingly checking your temperature. “Your fever’s gone down. Just have some more rest.”

He pulls back slightly, but the distance between you two is still close. “I asked the association if you could take a sick leave. So, whether you want to rest here at home or maybe go outside for a quick walk for the next few days, I’ll be here to keep you company.”

You look at him, confused by what’s happening at the moment. “What are you… talking about? Is this some sort of dream? ” you asked him. The man was taken aback for a bit, but he regains his composure immediately. Sunlight continues to bleed through the window, gently hitting his face. yet his expression...

His expression still seemed like he was getting absorbed by something dark.

“It's okay—it’s okay if you forget,” he says, shifting his gaze on the ground. “Even if you don’t remember anything... I can always say it again.” The man then sits on the bed as you feel the sudden dip in the mattress from his weight. He then gently grabs her hand, rubbing soothing circles across her knuckles while shifting his gaze back to you.

The man thinks for a moment. He doesn’t know which is more agonizing—to forget or to be forgotten?

“I'm Caleb. I’ll always be...” Before you could comprehend the rest of his words, your head started ringing. You reach out to rub your temple as your mind starts to suddenly feel sluggish. it’s as if… something that you should know—or rather, something you shouldn’t forget—was being kept away from you.

What happened?

10 days ago.

The announcement through the train station regarding the arrival of the train to Skyhaven echoes as you drag your luggage and take your exit. Looking around, you decided to take a quick picture of a fast food restaurant you saw and send it to Caleb.

(name): [attachment: one image] (name): Guess where I am right now? :P

Caleb: You’re in Skyhaven?

You turned off your phone and decided to take in your surroundings. It had been two months since you last came to Skyhaven—and the last time you went here was when you secretly infiltrated the farspace fleet to investigate the whereabouts of a fragment of an aether core.

It had been two months since you saw Caleb again, alive in the flesh.

Entering Caleb’s home from Skyhaven, Caleb speaks. “We can talk about the work stuff later. You should cancel your hotel reservation first. and then...” His voice trails off as he looks like he was considering something.

Caleb then spreads out his arms at you. “And then… what?” You tilt your head in confusion. “You know what I mean.” A smile paints itself on your lips as soon as you realize what he meant. Walking closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your face against his chest.

“I missed you, Caleb.”

“Welcome home.”

The air is suddenly filled with a sound—something flies by. Caleb uses his evol to stop a bullet in front of his forehead as a mist blocks her view.

"Get under cover!” Realizing he’s the target, you urged him. He stopped you as you reached for your revolver and attempted to drag him to safety. Caleb simply said, "There's no point in hiding," after glancing at his palm. This is only the initial action.

He notices that the true target is somewhere else—this had been a diversion—as officers recover control of the situation. He looks toward the alpha and beta fleet bases, his hand clenched. Caleb asks that you remain behind and is about to call Liam for assistance when you stop him. “I'm your best option; you can't trust anyone else, Caleb."

Caleb pauses. "They have taken over one of the bases. I have dispatched individuals to the alpha base. Please check the beta base for me.” For a minute, your eyes meet. He nods after he pauses. "Liam will accompany you."

"Please be careful," he tells you.

“You too,” she answers.

Yet doubt seems to have clouded your mind and you find yourself asking Caleb before you left. "Caleb, you really need me for this, right?" he answers with a simple "yes."

It was pouring tonight.

As the takeover turns out to be a hoax, you could observe now that you realized Caleb made you leave to protect you. Why does it feel like we’re back to square one? More than a dozen planes pierce the night sky as they race across it.

"Are those reinforcements for Caleb?" you asked Liam, Caleb’s adjutant.

"Making you leave was for the best," Liam replies. When you realized that he knew everything, you felt nauseous and angry that Caleb forced you to leave. "The colonel can only put his trust in you, but your presence would influence his choices. Please don't hold this against him," Liam adds.

Despite your desire, you were unable to hold it against him. Caleb was just being overprotective. “Liam, you’re Caleb’s adjutant. Do you trust him?” you couldn’t help but ask. “I don’t need the colonel’s trust. I only need his orders.”

“So if he orders you to leave your loved ones, you’d do it?”

“That's precisely why I can stand by his side and serve him.”

You almost scoff at his answer. “If the chip were placed inside of me, how would Caleb react? "You then ask Liam. “He would do anything to get rid of it, but you don’t have to put yourself through the pain,” Liam responds.

As Liam bid his farewell with a salute and started to make his way back, you were now alone. You don’t get it. Why does it feel like nothing actually changed? Like all your efforts from getting close to him before were a waste? You just wanted to help him. You could fight—you’re a hunter for fuck’s sake!

But every time you were dispatched into Skyhaven, you felt so useless at your job.

The toring chip you stole from Caleb’s office is still hidden in your shoe with the implanter. With one simple press, the remaining distance between you and Caleb would be gone. “You don’t have to put yourself through the pain.” Liam’s words echo in your head. Maybe it’s a bit too late for you to say that, Liam. Because I have already made my decision.

Perhaps to love is to share the pain with them, even if they push you away.

The implantation was swift. You felt weak as you sat on the bench. Imagining Caleb’s reaction if he ever found out what you just did sends a nasty chill down your spine. This will be your secret to bear alone. If Caleb had his own secrets from you, then you would have yours. After all, that’s only fair, isn’t it?

“I have never kept a secret from you, not even once. and I don’t plan on doing so anytime soon.”

Just how ironic do his words get even more? He made an unspoken promise of never keeping a secret from you. But ever since you two reunited in Skyhaven… that’s all that he’s been doing.

You then hear footsteps pattering against the rain puddles on the ground, and the rain above you stops. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere; why didn’t you go back home? ” Caleb heard softly asks you. You look up to him. “Liam shouldn’t have left you alone in the street.”

“I walked here by myself. It has nothing to do with him.” Caleb was always good at finding you whenever you played hide and seek. and you would always go home together after playing. but this time... You don’t want to go back to the place he called “home” with him.

You point out the Asiatic apple trees to him, eyes admiring the slowly falling petals dragged by the rain. Caleb then recalls the Asiatic apple trees he’d see back in the train station in Linkon (they were always in bloom whenever you sent him off). “I didn’t know you liked Asiatic apples,” he then says.

“I don’t. because Asiatic apple flowers take you away from me, and I don’t like that.”

“No one can take me away from you.”

The dead and odorless trees serve as a quiet reflection of Caleb's own personality: aloof, stern, and unrelenting. Caleb softly asks you once more, "Come back home with me." Your voice is tinged with defiance as you look up to face him. “How long will you keep me imprisoned now? "

His voice cracks with a subtle anguish as his eyes drop to the hairpin in her palm. He gently grabs it from you and pins it back on your head. "I'll spend my entire life looking for solutions if each problem drives me farther away from you, but until that final moment, we’ll always be together.”

"What will you do if people come looking for me?" she says.

Caleb doesn’t think twice. “In that case, I’ll hold a funeral they can attend. so they’ll think you’ll be gone forever. “Let’s go back home; you might catch a cold.” He extends his hand towards you, and you accept it. But you refuse to move when he tries to guide you away. Caleb shoots you a deadly and stern look. You pull Caleb down to your level, your lips exactly by his ear.

“Don’t you find it funny that you’re worried about me catching a cold after discussing my fucking funeral? ” you whisper. Caleb pulls back, “So if I don’t show concern, does that mean it’s not genuine? Is that it? ”

a hand reaches up to your face. “You can’t convince yourself to hate me with every fiber of your being. Wouldn’t you agree? ” His hand travels from your cheek to the back of your head, pushing you towards his chest. “I’ll eventually find a way to make things right... as long as... you’re by my side.”

“...Caleb, I hate it when you’re like this.” But you know that you could never hate him. Wrapping your arms around him, you whisper in his ear again. “but I hate it more when you’re always able to make me change my mind.”

His breath hitches at that and Caleb lets himself fall weak to his knees. “i’m… sorry. I just feel like... I don’t know how to take care of you anymore.” His voice breaks and you could feel him weaken against your touch. You reached for Caleb’s face, panic rising inside of you. “Caleb? Caleb, what’s wrong? ” His eyes started to become half-lidded and he looked at you in a daze.

Caleb collapses on your shoulder, his hat slowly sliding away from his head. He replies with a groan, and his voice is evidently weaker. “Let’s... go home.”

Raindrops cascade down his face, and the colonel’s vision fades into black.

You couldn't trust anyone in the fleet, so you exerted all of your strength to get him home. You two collapse into Caleb's bed together, your bodies heavy with fatigue. and your eyes follow the tiny, scarlet veins beneath his skin as you stare at him.

A cold, mechanical voice reverberates around the room. “Warning... Emotional fluctuations have surpassed the threshold limit…” Caleb looks like he’s going through a nightmare, yanking his collar off as he mumbles to himself. “Don’t… take her away…” he pleads. You reassure him that you aren’t going to leave, though you have a faint doubt that it would work.

“Commencing chip activation process... Executing mandatory erasure... of neurons...” the machine’s voice continues. Mandatory erasure? No, no, no, no—Caleb sweats, his body spasming as it fights against something far beyond his control.

With a horrible shock, you understand that this is exactly the same as what Kevi experienced when you last visited him in the garden. You shake and scramble desperately, looking for a button on his body to put an end to the chaos.

You can’t take him away, not again. Don’t take him away from me. Tears slightly blurred your vision as you searched for a button that might not even exist in the first place. You just wanted his pain to stop.

Caleb suddenly opens his eyes, and you are shoved back onto the bed. “Ow—Caleb! ”

Above your head, he pulls your wrists and presses them on something rigid and cold. yet it feels more like a machine's grip than his hand. “Why are you struggling? ” he asks, his voice laced with confusion. “Are you scared of me? Do I feel like a stranger to you? ”

"Program... complete,” the machine said.

“How could you possibly understand... my guilt and sin...” he whispers. And then he collapses onto you.

You slept next to Caleb for the night but the nightmares about him returned.

The morning after he fainted, Caleb was sitting in the living room, staring at something.

Discreetly, you approached him and put your palm to his forehead to feel the warmth of his skin. Your fingers move to his right arm and give it a light squeeze. "Are you feeling better?" you asked.

He glances up at you. Caleb whispers, "I noticed you lying next to me when I woke up this morning." He's staring at a picture on the coffee table when you spot it. Your heart hurts as you lift it up. It was a picture of you kissing his cheek when he graduated from the Aerospace Academy.

With a gentle touch, he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear after brushing it from your temple. “So…” After tracing your jaw and raising your chin, his fingers then lightly touch your cheek. “Who are you?” he asks in a low voice, as if he's looking for something he lost.

Caleb appears to be soulless, his memories erased. He no longer even recognizes himself. He continues speaking, "I remember the way you made me feel," with a hint of emotion in his voice. From under his collar, he retrieves the necklace. He looks at you and says, "I remember you gave me this. Were we... close like this?"

You didn’t know how to answer that.

Your relationship with him couldn’t be described in just simple words. But the thought strikes you like lightning in your mind—Caleb will believe anything you say. Let me be selfish just this once. Let me have this opportunity while it’s presented in front of me.

“You’re the most important person to me, and I’m the most important person to you.”

“Caleb, I’m the only one in this world who truly knows you.” You then continue. He repeats what you said, making it sink into him. “you’ll never leave me.” You can’t leave me. “Just like... the vines that cling to a tree. We shared a part of our lives with each other. So, we’ll never be apart.”

He looks at you, eyes filled with guilt. “I'm sorry. I can’t remember anything.”

“It's okay if you can’t remember right now. I’ll always be here for you.” You pull him into a tight hug, your lips near his earlobe.

“Just like what you’ve always done for me.”

Caleb, who is now suffering from amnesia, was a blank page in a book that you thought you could write anything you wanted on (if anyone was going to rewrite him, it’s going to be you, and only you). You kept everything hidden from him—his phone, clothes, communication device—anything that could disturb him from this dream.

Three days later, it appeared that you had both fallen into a dreamy, infantile state. Like when you initially met in the shelter, the world outside these walls held no significance for them.

The amusement bustled with excitement. However, the excitement of the rides quickly made you feel sick. Caleb asked out loud, "Is it safe for you to hunt the deepspace when you're like this?" as he watched you anxiously. Holding the ice cream he had just purchased, he crouched next to you.

“Deepspace hunters don’t actually hunt in deep space,” said you, who was still recuperating. A little perplexed, Caleb questioned again, "So what am I?”

You extended your arm to hook her index finger onto his. A smile tugged across your lips as you answered, "You're the deepspace hunter's sidekick."

Sitting on a train ride offered by the amusement park, your watch vibrated as your eyes started to close shut. It was a reminder that the association needed an update and that your task was due in three days.

Caleb gave you a quick glance while wearing a knowing expression. He taunted, "You took my phone, so I'll take away your watch." Caleb noticed the little shift in your demeanor as your face fell at the idea. “You don’t like the sound of that?"

You only gave a mute shake of your head. “I never knew your hands were so big,” you then say, smoothly changing the topic. Caleb lets you play with his fingers as you rub and tug around them. He takes his as a chance to interlock his fingers with yours. “We’re both grown-ups now, huh?” you then say.

“Yeah. Does that mean we can finally do all the things we used to want to do but couldn’t before? ” He leans closer.

“We couldn’t do? Or do you mean things we wouldn’t dare to do? ” Challenging him, you also lean closer.

“What if I dare? What would you do?”

His face is so close. you thought. You could feel the heat rushing through your ears; your head started to throb again. “Prove it.” He feigns hurt in his expression. “I thought everything I did was proof of my sincerity?”

Caleb proceeds to press his forehead against yours. Your heart hammers against your chest and your hands are still interlocked. Boundaries were being crossed; lines were being blurred out. Your mind becomes hazy with everything that’s happening. and to top it all off—

“I like you,” Caleb whispers.

In this moment, you realize—everything has changed. You’ll be his and he’ll be yours. All you knew since yesterday is that everything has changed.

You see the aircraft from the fleet approaching, and the end of the sweet dream was coming way too quick for your liking. “Caleb, let’s go home.” You urged him—he refused. You try to hop off of the moving train yet with a blink of an eye, Caleb is holding your wrist again.

“Where did this come from? the chip?” he asks.

No—it can’t be over just yet. please. Let me be selfish for a little while more.

You could see Caleb’s lips moving yet a piercing ring takes over your eardrums, drowning his voice out. “They’re here, Caleb. They—they can’t. They can’t take you... away from me...” Your body feels weaker as pain crashes repeatedly into you in waves.

Everything fades into black after that.

You never liked Caleb wearing that fucking uniform. Because every time that he does, he’s like a different person. You don’t recognize the Caleb that wears the colonel’s uniform.

Yet here he is, standing before you dressed in that goddamn uniform, his expression unreadable. Is he mad? Definitely. Are you going to die tonight? Maybe. Do you mind Caleb being the one who wields the gun at your death? …Not really. If anything, it’s better that you die by his hands.

“You remember everything, don’t you?” He doesn’t answer; you press on further. “When? when we were at the amusement park? Or was it before that?” Was him losing memories even real in the first place?

“I haven’t even asked my questions yet. When did you get that Turing chip implanted?” The unwelcomed yet familiar waves of pain surge through your head; you bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming. Caleb removes his glove on one hand and rubs his thumb over your swollen lip. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

His expression remains unreadable. “You should rest. The surgery is being prepared and the pain will be over soon.”

“Caleb... Ever since we reunited, have you been enduring all of this? Why didn’t you tell me?” You didn’t have the strength to use your voice so you could only whisper to him. Caleb replies in a softer voice—it’s as if seeing you like this torments him (it does, and maybe he’ll finally understand why you did it in the first place). “If telling you the truth means watching you willingly get caught up in this mess...”

“Then I never would’ve shown up in your life again.” The glint in his eyes shows desperation.

“I don’t understand... They changed you. They treat you like a pawn and make you do all of those awful deeds. But—but you belong to me! You’re mine—you're the person I cherish the most—how could they do this to you?”

Caleb doesn’t reply to that. He insists that you rest but you broke free from your restraints before he could stop you. You get up and stumble towards the door but your legs can only bring you there as your vision becomes unsteady. Caleb is pulling you away from the door and towards the bed you were restrained on earlier. “Let go of me!” you shout, pulling his hand and biting hard on it.

However, he pulls you into his arms and keeps you there instead of letting go. His voice is firm yet gentle as he carries you back to the bed. “In order to prevent you from biting your tongue when you had a fever when we were kids, I let you bite my hand. Do you remember that? You gave me such a severe bite that the mark lingered for two weeks.” He chuckles at the memory. “I always wanted to settle the score with you when we got older.”

Your expression is determined and keen as you look at him. “This time, I’ll be the one who’s going to settle the score.” You straddle him and push him down without saying anything more. A glint of amusement shines in his eyes at your actions.

“What do you want?”

You lean closer to him, your ear almost resting by his chest. Your fingers trace the edges of his uniform. “I want to peel open your heart to see what secrets are hidden within.” He watches your finger slide down. You then grab his chin and make him look at you. “As the farspace fleet’s colonel, you haven’t been put into a trial like this, have you?”

“A trial? What are you accusing me of?" He plays along.

“You… You killed my Caleb.” Your voice breaks. You lean in closer, lips being only centimeters apart. But you pull away, tugging and discarding the layers of his uniform instead. “The Caleb in this uniform... I don’t like it…” you say, fighting back the tears from blurring your vision. You wanted Caleb gone in that uniform. You wanted the old Caleb back in your arms.

Just where did it all go wrong? Perhaps it was the explosion that triggered everything that has changed. The Caleb that you grew up with, the one that you knew—the one that you loved—feels like a stranger to you. It is only when he’s out of the thick layers of his uniform that you could recognize that maybe—just maybe—this is the Caleb that you love.

Caleb doesn’t stop you from what you’re doing. Instead, he caresses your face, his touch being warm against your cheek. “Good girl,” he whispers. “You should get some sleep now, pipsqueak,” he says a bit louder this time. You gave him a kiss on his forehead and he avoided your gaze right after.

“Look at you; you’re like a sinner who’s confessing.” Caleb holds your hand and presses a soft kiss to your fingertips. Your hands that he had always wanted to hold without reason—perhaps it was his time to become a bit selfish now.

“Then can you carry a little of this sin too? Don’t leave me in this loneliness any longer.”

You feel yourself losing your balance above Caleb. The pain that was throbbing in your head ever since earlier has intensified tenfold, leaving you to go limp.

“It’ll be just like when we were kids. You’ll wake up and you won’t be in any pain or remember any trace of it.”

The blinding beams of sunlight shone upon you, stirring you awake. Slowly opening your eyes, you took in your surroundings. You were currently in a familiar bedroom and the other side of the bed was empty when you woke up.

You suddenly hear the door creaking open. Shooting a glance at who it could be, you recognized the man dressed in some sort of military uniform as he takes strides towards you. “Huh..?” You say, voice still groggy after just waking up. You shield your eyes from the glaring sunlight and the dust particles being visible in the air. Caleb raises his hand to do so instead.

Caleb… just what happened to us?

“I asked the association if you could take a sick leave. So, whether you want to rest here at home or maybe go outside for a quick walk for the next few days, I’ll be here to keep you company.”

You look at him, confused by what’s happening at the moment. Your eyes then trail down to a peeking mark below his cuff. “Is that... a bite mark? Caleb, what—what happened? ” you asked him. Caleb hesitates to answer the question. Sunlight continues to bleed through the window, gently hitting his face. yet his expression...

His expression still seemed like he was in sorrow.

“It's okay if you forget. You should eat something first,” he says, grabbing a bowl of porridge after he helps you sit up on the bed. After a few spoons, you didn’t feel like eating anymore. As Caleb rises to put the bowl away, anxiety hits you as you grab his sleeve. “Where are you going?”

“I'm just putting the bowl away.” Caleb looked like he was about to say something else but refused to do so. “Don’t worry. I won’t go anywhere until you fall asleep,” he reassures you.

“Caleb... You’ll always stay by my side, right?” you asked him in return.

He doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

You tugged on the collar of his uniform, pulling him into the bed with you as you straddled him. The scene feels familiar to Caleb—almost. Your fingers trail down his neck, tracing his Adam’s apple before pressing gently on the center of his collarbone. “I wonder if I should put a bell around your neck. That way, you won’t be able to escape. What do you think?”

You didn’t forget anything ever since you implanted the toring chip inside of you. You remembered every single story you had to come up with on the spot for Caleb. You remembered Caleb whispering, “I like you,” on the train—how comfortable the breeze was while you were both in the amusement park.

But the amusement park is now closed.

EIGHTH: TO LOVE IS TO INDULGE YOURSELF IN SELFISHNESS.

Caleb rarely gets sick.

You were the sickly type between the two of you—always catching yourself a cold or a fever so easily. And every time you got sick, Caleb was always there beside you. He didn’t hesitate to help Gran back then when it came to making you feel better. He’s the one who usually monitors your temperature; he’s the one who really makes sure that you have taken your medications. You don’t seem to recall that many memories where Caleb gets sick.

But now... you’re here, against the door to his bedroom, helpless at the fact that Caleb is hiding himself from you because he has a fever. You keep knocking on his door, thinking that maybe being persistent would do the trick. “I haven’t finished reading a book and I think I left it there, Caleb.” You lied, still trying to get him to open the door.

Shuffling was then heard from inside and Caleb shoved the book into your chest. “Take it and stop knocking, pip-squeak.” You try to pry yourself into his room with the gap made by him from opening the door but it is no use. But the close distance with Caleb’s body easily helps you in finding out his current state.

“Caleb, you’re burning!” He stops you and takes your hand when you attempt to touch his forehead. “I’ve taken some medication. I’ll be fine, pips.”

“At least leave the door unlocked; let me take care of you this time.”

“Have you ever seen me be defeated by something as small as this? I can handle it,” he replies, though his voice sounds raspy as he speaks. “With the state of your voice now, that doesn’t sound very reassuring,” you say back. “Don’t you have other stuff to do? Focus on that.”

“What? Hey—Caleb!” The door slams shut in front of your face.

Fine then. Let’s see how long you can handle this tough guy act up.

You ponder unsuccessfully throughout the afternoon how to persuade him to open the door. But in the end, you chose to prepare a meal for him. It’s the first time he’s stayed home, and you’re taking care of things around the house. You ended up making porridge and knocking on his bedroom door.

“Caleb? I made some porridge. Do you want some?”

No response.

You then lie, claiming that you got scratched by a stray cat while you left for a quick walk earlier. “I’m pretty sure you said stray cats always welcomed you with open paws. Remember to review your past lies before you tell a new one next time.” You hear him from the door. You knock harder against his door. “If you don’t unlock the door, I swear I’ll pick this goddamn lock.”

OTTO suddenly appears next to you. “Here’s a friendly reminder. When you’re asking for help, you should gently approach them,” the artificial intelligence says. Is that directed at me or is it directed at Caleb? But OTTO is right. Taking a deep breath, you ask Caleb from the other side of his bedroom door again.

“Caleb… what are you afraid of?”

You hear a click as you place the tray on the floor. At last, he opens the door. You immediately head inside his bedroom with the tray of porridge and check on his condition immediately. “I told you, I’m fine,” he then says. His voice sounded a bit better now—but it was still evident that he was sick. “How was I supposed to believe that when you keep locking yourself in here?”

He lets out a chuckle that has self-mockery in it. “How can I keep the tough guy act if I let you see me like this?”

“You should eat this porridge first and then take your medications for your fever after. Where’s your thermometer? Let’s check your temp,” you say, stirring the porridge. “While I’m used to you being bossy, I don’t really feel like playing along today.” You take his temperature anyway.

39.2 degrees Celsius. It’s still high.

“Your fever is still high. You should—” Caleb then cuts you off. “It was better this morning. I honestly feel like a champ right now.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re a fucking champ for acting tough; I’ll give you that one.”

“When have I ever lied to you?”

“Oh, so now you want to talk about this? Do you really want me to answer that question, Caleb?”

He begins recalling all the times he fulfilled his promises to you back in the past. You stop him before he could continue further. “Enough, Caleb. You said you’d never hurt me—you promised me that.”

“Do you feel like everything I do is supposed to hurt you?” he asks.

Not really. “Your inability to believe that I can protect myself hurts me. Your refusal to let me share your burdens with you hurts me. You hurting and letting yourself feel the pain indirectly hurts me too. And lastly, you pushing yourself away—that’s what hurts me the most.” Caleb stays silent at that.

“If you think I’m wrong, then you’re free to correct me, Caleb.” His attention was then on the bowl of porridge placed on your lap, waiting to be taken by him. Caleb doesn’t correct you from your earlier statement.

He takes deep breaths as you both stay silent in his bed.

Caleb is someone you can’t be any more familiar with. You’ve known him your life—yet why is it possible that he still feels like a stranger to you sometimes? “Pips, I have to tell you something,” he then says. “I’m listening,” you tell him.

“I’m sorry that I upset you. You were just trying to help and I…” He seems like he couldn’t finish that sentence so you do it for him. “You were scared, right? Scared that I’ll see your weakness.” Your hand lies on top of Caleb’s chest as it heaves up and down. “You wanna see my weakness? Well, now you have.” Caleb’s ears turn red at that. “Are your ears red because of your fever?” You ask, reaching a hand to touch his earlobe. “Let’s go with that.”

You cup his cheek to check his temperature again. There was something different in Caleb’s gaze—like it was full of admiration. Softness. Love. Your other hand reaches up to cup his other cheek, pulling him forward so you can put your forehead against his.

Flashbacks of when you and Caleb had your foreheads like this flash in your mind. Once while you were nine; once while you were fifteen; once back in the old store you recently helped in. “You’re still not showing me your weakness, Caleb.” you whisper before pulling away. Your soft breath tingles his nose as his breath hitches at your short distance.

He puts a hand against your mouth as he leans back in slowly. But Caleb quickly pulls himself away before anything could happen.

“I never hid anything from you. But you have—in fact, you hid a lot of things from me. Don’t you think that’s a little unfair?” How many secrets can you keep? Caleb looks away from your gaze before replying. “I can’t have any weaknesses. Then you’ll feel safe in relying on me.”

“But I don’t want to stand behind you—I want to stand beside you, Caleb.” He smiles at that. He places your hand on his chest. His heartbeat beats out a steady rhythm. “Do you feel it? This is my weakness. She’s here. For a long time, she’s been here.”

Caleb…

“I’m afraid that if you see me at my lowest, you won’t believe I can always protect you.” He soon admits, his voice a bit quieter than it was earlier. Your eyes trace every feature that it could take in. “A lot of people say the knife that hurts the most isn’t wielded by your enemies. The people closest to you have it. We’re the closest people to each other. We’d never hurt each other.”

“Are you afraid that I’ll hurt you?”

“Do you think that you could hurt me like this?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he cups your cheek, fingers rubbing your cheekbone. “I want you to stay here. Stay with me. Please, spend the next hundred years with me.” He sounds restrained—like he was still holding himself back.

Even in the most vulnerable and precious moments together, Caleb is still holding himself back from it—especially when it could be more. “I…” you trail off.

Maybe to love him is to ignore the boundaries—to give in to the temptation.

“I love you, Caleb.”

His eyes widen at your confession. He could feel his face and ears burning up again. Caleb’s eyes never leave yours as it drowns itself in your gaze. He looks like he was looking for some proof that it was just a dream—that he’ll just wake up (or perhaps he was waiting for you to take it back). Caleb was speechless.

“I have always loved you. But as we grew older, the love changed. Everything has changed. Our careers, our lives, and our decisions. I held myself back at first, knowing that we might regret it, risking something so sacred between us. But as time went by, I started becoming selfish. I… I just started to indulge myself. And then I started wanting more—but I couldn’t exactly get more now.” You chuckled at that.

“I’ll probably regret this tomorrow morning. But I honestly just can’t keep it to myself anymore. Because I love you, Caleb. I love you so much that maybe, just maybe, if I loved you any less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

Caleb doesn’t reply to your confession in words.

He replies in actions.

A hand gently grabs the nape of your neck; you could feel his hand trembling against your skin as he does. His hands feel warm—whether it was due to his fever or not, you have no clue—and his touch is as gentle as it always is whenever he touches you. Slowly pulling you in, it finally happens.

You finally feel what Caleb’s lips are like as they press gently against yours.

He pulls away, not letting it last any longer. Straddling him in the process so you could be more comfortable, he stares at you in a daze. You pull him in again for another kiss. And another. And then another. The pressure of his lips against yours felt electrifying as your arms wrapped around his neck as his hands found themselves on your waist. There was a slight push and pull going on as your shadows, as reflected by the moonlight, blended into one.

When you finally pull away from Caleb, that’s when he decides to speak. “I… I think about you all the time. I long to see and be close to you. I can hardly sleep because I miss you. There’s this longing I can barely contain, and I fear it’s going to drown me. But perhaps that’s okay—because that would mean I’m drowning in you.”

“I love you too,” he finally says.

To love Caleb is to be selfish.

#( writings )#love and deepspace #lads x reader #lads #love and deepspace x reader #caleb x reader #caleb x mc #love and deepspace caleb #caleb xia #lads caleb #caleb #x reader

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anantaru · 1 year ago

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— does he like it when you're being clingy?

including wriothesley, neuvillette, kaveh, scaramouche x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff & crack, lots of physical touch, established relationship, kissies, love sick genshin men

— wriothesley

as much as wriothesley shows off his strong demeanor for the outside world to see, he cannot lie to himself when it comes to you— because the duke likes seeing you be clingy with him and search for his vehemence.

to him, there was nothing better than having your arms all padded up around him while you kiss his little worries away— so for all he cares, let the outside world call him bewitched if they must, or caught in an angelic spell for that matter. to wriothesley it didn't sound bad nor did he really give a damn about what a so called nobody would say about his life, alongside the fact that he found it quite amusing whenever they did talk about him.

the duke was exceptionally gentle with you, but sometimes he just wants to be able to see you love him in a whole differing modus other than you simply uttering out the three delicate words— in fact, wriothesley too, cares about you so much that he's trying to keep you around all the time, having you enveloped in his arms like he always daydreams of whenever you were apart from each other— hoping that you'd visit him so he could listen to whatever story you might tell him about.

now, was this a new feeling? well, yes. simply put, it was one he had never experienced before. the man had always been faithful, protective and nurturing in his life, so when love solidified the senses of his body, wriothesley was able to finally share his love with somebody.

what you did not know was that wriothesley was slightly frightened in the early stages of your relationship, to someone like the duke it wasn't particularly a breezy walk in the park to open up to another individual and realize that for the first time in his life, he was able to trust someone undoubtedly without fearing a possible mistreat.

now, he admits his love to you when he felt ready to do so, and when he does spell out the three words that bonded a relationship anew, your lips curl deeper into a passionate smile as he kisses the sides of your mouth.

your company alone was an important determination factor of his mood, and although he doesn't want to trouble you with his work, nor was he really allowed to share important and confidential details, wriothesley was certain that you would always be there to listen to him no matter what crossed his mind.

interesting how his heart has not once melted in his entire life prior to finding his soulmate. that's why in his eyes, there is no truer language than the language of love.

a cruel world that has been so cold go him surely wouldn't give him such wonderful gift?

alas, it did— wriothesley could feel it in his bones whenever you held him close to your chest late at night, his ear shell quietly pressed right above your heart. the silent vibrations place a pure tepidness of passion on his soul when he finds himself gradually softening to it, on all occasions smiling as he falls asleep in your arms.

— neuvillette

in the early stages of your relationship, when you had first placed your lips on neuvillette's, the three letter announcement evaporates from his tongue as fluid as when sunlight enters the raindrops and emerges as rainbows from afar.

and yes, much to his surprise he didn't die because of it, who would've saw that coming? although the iudex wholeheartedly believed that he would suffer from a cardiac arrest due to the vast bursts of anxiety gradually chugging away his confidence.

"can i sit on your lap?" you smile gently, unsure whether his silence is that of enthusiasm or distaste.

neuvillette can hardly register it at first before he presses out a pathetic little yes when his excitement reaches the roof of his head and violently breaks through it, showing you those open and loving eyes that were the golden entry to his soul.

you hear a deep, breathless pant when you sit on him, witnessing how a hefty amount of redness catches up to his face until battering his ears, ultimately coaxing out a shiver from his spine.

don't misunderstand his unusual reactions— but neuvillette couldn't quite fathom that you belonged to him and sought out his body like that, it's always special when you nonchalantly rounded your hands on his face and replenished his energy anew, as if his frame was reborn in its most perfect form solely when he felt your trace.

and so, he cannot get enough of your warmth— no wonder when you remind yourself of the pure emotions that he harbored deeply for you.

instinctively, you rest your body against his chest, a soft glow rounding up your facial features, "ah, can't wait until you're done with this," you huff and point at his office desk being crowded by a bunch of papers as you press a small peck against the tip of his nose, ruffling his hair a little.

"it is rather late, you mustn't stay here," he insists, a barely distinctive curve of his lips turning all the difference in the choice of his tone.

"oh? does that mean you want to get rid of me?" how terribly skilled you were when you soaked your words in viscous sarcasm— so skillful in fact that neuvillette would always fall for it head first, or that's what you thought.

he raises a brow before curving one arm around your waist, leaning you against his chest so you wouldn't be able to move an inch, even if you tried.

"now," he playfully scolds, "you, my love, couldn't be farer from the truth."

"and here i thought you must know me by now?"

"i'm joking with you!" you panic, battering his cheek with little kisses as if he didn't know— but neuvillette sees how happy you were whenever you believed you fooled him.

he cocks an eyebrow at you, his mannerism in a questioning stance.

"apologies, aren't jokes supposed to be humorous?"

you scoff, "hmpf, now you're just mean!"

— kaveh

from an outer perspective, one couldn't possibly figure out who was clingier towards the other person— and even with someone being a close friends of the both of you, it's beyond the bounds of possibility to crown a winner.

you or kaveh? who yearned for the attention of the other more? to answer such difficult question, you should first know of the moniker a certain scribe has given you, in fact, within your friend-group kaveh and you had instantly claimed the title of most insufferable couple.

you might wonder, was that a bad thing? oh well, not at all!

and kaveh doesn't even attempt to conceal the priceless smirk on his face whenever he heard his roommate address the both of you as that— it turned him deeply fulfilled that everyone was able to see how crazy he was about you.

your heart feels full by his comforting arms that each throb rattles across your limbs and muscles, feeling weightless at the welcoming cradle— your love being whole, one touch and a gentle kiss on the lips and you feel on a bed of roses, tucked up in velvet.

"what is it?" kaveh leans at you, raising a brow at the way you peak behind his shoulder. during closer inspection, you catch up on a sneaky little smirk that frames his lips the more you focused on what's behind him, "c'mon baby, tell me," kaveh kisses your cheek.

"i think they're calling us insufferable again." you point behind his shoulder, specifically at a table with three people— one wholly focused on the cards in his hands and remaining unbothered while the others sneakily glanced over to you every now and then, whispering incoherent mumbles into each others ears with their palms covering their lips.

and your words don't achieve anything besides making him all the more amused when he wraps his arms around your waist, it's evident, very much so but kaveh was fond of the situation— perhaps he even prided himself on it, he has the audacity to act surprised though.

he laughs, nudging the tip of his nose against your jaw, "they're probably just talking about a way to beat cyno in tcg."

he continues, "we should leave early," and states firmly, "but i think alhaitham took my keys again."

"how does this always happen?" you note tiresomely before dropping your head onto his shoulder— a little too dramatically so that the scribe picked up on it immediately, revealing a triumphant smirk.

perhaps that is why they say love is such magic, this gift from the universe that was unable to be compared, this sweet addiction that no matter what situation you were in, big or small, if it's the two of you facing it together, it was nothing.

— scaramouche

even if scaramouche doesn't straight out admit it to you, he likes it whenever you were clingy with him— and after a good while of you two being in a relationship, he will more and more show his genuine love of it until he’s practically playing with the thought of begging for more.

in the beginning it starts by how fast his cheeks flame red and his focus dwindling as you hug him. after that particular encounter scaramouche memorizes what you did and decides that this must be a proper way to greet you as well— maybe even give you a little kiss on the cheek if he's feeling like it.

scratch that, what he lacks was the courage to go that far.

but no matter how often you would greet him this way, the action alone send him spiraling, shyly snuggling closer to you, inch by inch, although not risking it to hold eye contact and instead averting his gaze as he attempts to indulge in it nervously— stiff as concrete with both arms frozen on each side of his body when you wrapped your limbs around him.

he leans into your touch and closes his eyes— how warm, it's as if the sun itself would shine down on him and prickle on his skin, you feel so whole, like a home.

your touch, it's difficult to explain besides the fact that it carries such passion, and before scaramouche could register it— what was once scarred long ago expresses gentleness all of a sudden.

although not everything from his past could be forgotten, yet your presence made it bearable.

what was also a crucial task to scaramouche was his recent curiosity in understanding the concept of love and how he fell for it— while he ultimately came to the conclusion that the only way to understand love is to feel it, attempt to embody it, or embrace it in its complete form.

next time, you greet him with a blank look on your face as he applies your method on you first, slightly catching you off guard as he welcomes you home almost wordlessly, taking your hand in his cold one when he pulls you into a hug— it is a silent engage and the way he practically dragged you into him made your forehead smack his shoulder.

thankfully scaramouche doesn't have to speak in order for you to understand what he was trying to signalize here.

what's following next would be considered even sillier than him blatantly copying you, but when the two of you walk alongside each other through the hustling streets of sumeru city, you flinch a little at a strong grab on your hand ambushing you, "hey, nope— hold on, stop walking and give me your hand dammit," scaramouche scoffs as he chases after it, when with a quick motion, he traps it finally and tangles his digits around your own.

"there's no fun if i make it easy," you wink, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his jaw, "i like the faces you make when you're mad, you know? your expressions are so cute."

"don't you realize you're wasting time like that?" scaramouche clicks his tongue before squeezing your hand in his grasp, letting out an audible hmph before turning his head towards the street.

"honestly? that's fine by me," you coo softly, smothering him with the attention he craves as more of your fingers dig into the soft flesh of his palm.

"as long as you still love me, of course."

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reidmarieprentiss · 6 months ago

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Better Together

Summary: Spencer knows he messed up, he wants to prove to you that it was a mistake. His words, not you. You would never be anything but his person.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst

Warnings/Includes: aftermath of taking a break, reinforcing love and commitment, mild groveling, happy ending

Word count: 2.9k

a/n: i would just like to say that i do not think engagement equals love and i also don't think it's necessary to get engaged to "prove" your devotion -- this is fiction and mama wanted a ring lmao

main masterlist part one

As Spencer stepped into the quiet of the apartment, the absence of your presence was palpable, a silent echo of the space growing between you both. His gaze drifted across the familiar surroundings until it settled on the note affixed to the fridge. The sight of it—a stark, solitary piece of paper in the place usually bustling with the warmth of shared meals and conversations—felt oddly jarring.

The note was simple, void of excess detail, stating only that you had gone to stay with a friend. It didn’t say who, nor did it need to. The message was clear: you needed space. Spencer’s heart sank a little more with the understanding, yet there was also a part of him that acknowledged the necessity of this distance for both of you.

He stood there for a long moment, the weight of the empty apartment pressing down on him, reminding him of the gravity of your last conversation. It was time to use this space effectively, to reflect on everything you had said, on the emotions that had driven you to seek solace away from him. Spencer realized this was not just a moment to passively wait for your return, but an active opportunity to address his own fears, to understand his hesitations about the future, and to think critically about how he could make you feel more cherished and included in his life.

With a heavy sigh, he moved away from the note and sank down onto the couch, the silence enveloping him. He knew the coming days would be challenging, filled with introspection and perhaps painful realizations. But there was also a glimmer of hope—the hope that this time apart could lead to healing and a stronger foundation for whatever lay ahead. Spencer pulled out a notebook and began to write, outlining his thoughts and feelings, the fears he rarely voiced, and the steps he might take to bridge the gap between you. This was his chance to transform understanding into action, to show not just through words but through meaningful changes that you truly were his world.

—

Spencer was acutely aware that healing the rift between you would require more than just time; it demanded meaningful, heartfelt efforts. The damage done was not something he could fix overnight, but he was committed to doing everything in his power to mend your heart.

He started with texts. Spencer wasn't one to rely heavily on technology for emotional communication, but he knew you cherished seeing his name light up your screen. Each message he sent was carefully crafted, infused with warmth and affection, designed to remind you of his presence and his regret. Despite the sweetness of his words, you found yourself wrestling with the urge to respond. You appreciated his efforts—they tugged at your heartstrings, yes—but they weren't enough to sweep away the hurt that had built up.

Recognizing the limitations of digital words, Spencer transitioned to something more personal: handwritten letters. Since he didn’t know where you were staying, he sent them to your workplace, hoping the surprise of receiving mail would bring a smile to your face. Each letter was filled with his unmistakable handwriting, his words oscillating between heartfelt confessions, sweet nothings, and the occasional goofy remark that was so quintessentially Spencer. You couldn't help but smile sadly with each letter you opened, touched by his efforts yet still guarded, the emotions each letter evoked a mix of nostalgia and melancholy.

As days turned into weeks without a reply from you, Spencer realized he needed to do more, yet he was mindful of your dislike for public displays or grand gestures. He knew whatever he did next had to respect your boundaries and preferences.

So, he kept it simple. One evening, he showed up outside your workplace with nothing but a small bouquet of your favorite flowers and a hopeful smile. He waited for you, not as a grand gesture, but as a quiet statement of his willingness to do whatever it took to begin mending the gaps between you.

When you saw him standing there, something inside you stirred. It was a testament to his understanding of you, a reflection of his desire to make things right in a way that felt safe and respectful. The sight of him, so hopeful and earnest, cracked the protective wall you had built around your heart just a bit more.

His approach was soft, his voice tentative when he spoke. "I didn't come to pressure you, just to give you these," he said, extending the flowers towards you. "I just want you to know that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, not unless you want me to."

The simplicity of the gesture, the sincerity in his eyes—it all resonated with you, reaching deep into the places in your heart that still ached for him. This was the Spencer you loved, the one who understood you sometimes better than you understood yourself.

—

Your stay with Penelope provided a comforting pause, a needed respite that allowed you to sift through the whirlwind of emotions and considerations that clouded your thoughts. Despite the necessary distance and time for reflection, your draw to Spencer persistently tugged at your heart, a constant reminder of what might be at stake. After all, he remained the love of your life, despite everything.

Motivated mostly by yearning and somewhat by determination, you felt it was time to go back home. It was a Saturday, a day Spencer typically reserved for introspection and journaling—a practice you respected for its purpose, though lately, it seemed to fall short in facilitating effective communication between you two.

You entered the apartment quietly, the familiar setting wrapping around you like a well-worn comfort. You navigated through the silent spaces until you reached his office door. There he was, ensconced in his usual spot, pen in hand and deeply absorbed in his journal. For a moment, you just stood there, watching him, taking in the sight of your handsome boyfriend, so focused and earnest in his contemplation.

With a heart full of mixed emotions—hope, love, and a tinge of residual apprehension—you approached him quietly from behind. As you wrapped your arms around him in a gentle embrace, you could feel him tense briefly, startled by the unexpected contact. However, as soon as he recognized your scent, the one so intrinsically linked to home and comfort, his body relaxed under your touch.

“Hi, darling,” Spencer greeted, his voice a soft murmur of relief and warmth, the endearment lingering between you.

As you nestled closer into Spencer, the warmth of his neck against your cheek, you felt the familiarity of your bond slowly rekindling the embers of connection that had seemed so threatened recently.

"Hi, Spence," you mumbled softly, your words barely audible, filled with the comfort and sadness of everything that had passed between you.

"You came home," Spencer responded, his tone tinged with a mix of sadness and hopeful surprise, as if he hadn't fully believed he'd hear those words or feel your presence like this again.

You nodded against him, the gesture simple but loaded with emotion. "I missed you," you admitted, letting the truth of your feelings spill out in the quiet sanctity of his embrace. It was a confession, an olive branch extended in the hope of mending the fractures that had formed.

Spencer's hand came up to gently rest on one of yours, securing it against him, a physical affirmation of his gratitude for your return. He turned slightly within the circle of your arms, attempting to catch a glimpse of your face, needing to see the sincerity in your eyes that matched the words you just spoke.

"I missed you too," he confessed, his voice a whisper of relief mingled with lingering apprehension. "A lot more than I thought possible," he added, giving voice to the depth of his feelings during your absence.

There was a pause, a breath of silence as both of you allowed the honesty of the moment to sink in. Then Spencer ventured further, his words cautious but necessary, "Are we okay? I mean, can we... talk about everything?"

You felt a flutter of nerves at the question—it was the one you both needed to address, yet feared. Taking a deep breath, you stepped back just enough to look into his eyes, searching for and finding the earnest worry reflected there.

"We need to talk, yes," you agreed, your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions. "But first, let me just say this... I came back not just because I missed you, but because I believe we can fix this."

His eyes searched yours, looking for the reassurance they so desperately needed, and he found it in your steady gaze. "I want that too," he said, the vulnerability in his voice striking. "I want us to work through this, no matter what it takes."

Encouraged by his words, you suggested, "Let's start by really listening to each other. No interruptions, just us, trying to understand where the other is coming from."

Spencer nodded in agreement, the gesture firm. "I’d like that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and there are things I need to apologize for and areas where I need to do better."

"And I have things to admit too," you added, acknowledging your part in the strains that had tested your relationship. "Let's make a pact, here and now, to move forward together, with honesty and open hearts."

"Agreed," Spencer said, a soft smile finally breaking through the earlier tension. He extended his hand, a symbolic offering for you to shake. "Partners?"

"Partners," you affirmed, placing your hand in his, feeling a renewed sense of commitment enveloping the space between you.

—

"My parents' marriage... it wasn't something I ever wanted to emulate," Spencer confessed, the weight of his past evident in his tone. "And my father... he wasn't around. That left a mark on me, more than I usually admit."

Listening, you could see the struggle in his expression, the conflict of a man torn between his desires for a future with you and the scars of his past. His next words came slowly, each one a careful step forward. "I've been scared, really scared of turning into him, of failing as a husband... as a father."

"But," he continued, looking directly into your eyes, seeking the connection that had always grounded him, "knowing you, seeing how strong and committed you are, it gives me hope. When you came back... it meant everything. It told me that you're here, really here, even when things get tough."

You reached out, taking his hands in yours, squeezing them gently to offer reassurance and support. "Spencer, your past doesn't define your future. We can create something different, something better together. And I know you, you could never be like him. You're too caring, too thoughtful."

He nodded, a tentative smile beginning to form as the weight seemed to lift slightly off his shoulders. "Hearing you say that... it helps more than you know. I want to face these fears, not just for me, but for us. I want us to build a life together, free from the shadows of what was."

The conversation stretched on, each of you taking turns to lay bare fears and dreams, weaving a tapestry of shared hopes and commitments for the future. It was a pivotal moment, one that felt like a new beginning, as if you were both stepping out from under the heavy curtains of the past into a clearer, brighter day together.

—

One lazy Sunday, you were curled up on the couch, grateful for Spencer’s thoughtfulness as he had volunteered to run to the store to pick up the products you needed for your period. He had been so sweet and doting, eager to make you as comfortable as possible. In his rush to take care of you, however, he had left his phone behind on the kitchen counter.

When it started ringing, you instinctively picked it up, not even glancing at the screen, assuming it was your own phone. "Hello?" you answered casually.

"Spencer," Diana's familiar voice greeted you without skipping a beat. Before you could say anything, she continued. "I have your grandma’s ring. Would you rather I send it in the mail or do you want to come pick it up?"

You blinked in confusion, processing her words, especially the mention of a ring. "Um, hi, Diana," you replied awkwardly, realizing far too late that you were answering Spencer's phone, not your own.

"Oh, Y/N!" Diana's surprise was evident as she corrected herself. "I didn’t realize it was you."

You forced a small laugh, your mind already swirling with what Diana had just said. "Yeah, Spencer’s out running errands. I, um… picked up his phone by mistake."

"Well, no harm done," Diana chuckled lightly, though there was a warmth in her voice. "It’s good to hear your voice."

"Likewise," you replied, though your thoughts kept drifting back to the mention of the ring. "So, about that ring...?"

"Oh!" Diana said, realizing she might have let something slip before Spencer had a chance to talk to you. "It’s your grandmother’s engagement ring. Spencer and I were talking, and, well, he thought it might be nice to have it... for the future."

Your heart skipped a beat, the weight of her words settling in. Spencer was thinking about marriage, about proposing to you. Suddenly, the reality of your relationship felt larger, heavier in the best possible way.

"That’s... really sweet," you managed to say, though your voice wavered slightly, emotions swirling beneath the surface.

Diana’s tone softened, sensing what this meant for you. "He loves you so much, Y/N. I can see it every time he talks about you. I’m sure when he’s ready, it’ll be perfect."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Thank you, Diana. I appreciate that."

After a few more moments of polite conversation, you hung up the phone, still clutching it in your hand as you stared off into the distance. When Spencer came back a little while later, arms full of bags, completely unaware of what had transpired, you gave him a warm, knowing smile, your heart swelling with even more love for the man who had just picked up your favorite snacks.

"Everything okay?" he asked, noticing your slightly different demeanor.

"Yeah," you replied softly, still holding onto that secret knowledge. "Everything’s alright."

—

When Spencer finally brought the ring home, he did so with a heart full of intentions and a mind made up to bridge any distance that had crept between you two. The apartment you shared was softly lit, the ambiance calm and intimate—an environment that felt right for what he planned to do.

It was just an ordinary evening by all appearances, but for Spencer, it carried the weight of every moment that led up to this, every trial and misunderstanding, and every reaffirmation of his love for you.

You noticed he was a bit more fidgety than usual, pacing slightly before stopping in front of you, taking a deep breath as if to steady himself. You watched, curiosity piqued by his nervous demeanor, a soft smile playing on your lips, encouraging him silently.

"Y/N," he began, his voice stronger than his trembling hands. "I know there have been times when I haven't communicated well, when I've let my fears and past dictate how I handle our future." He paused, searching your eyes for understanding. "For every moment you felt you weren't enough, I am profoundly sorry. It was never about you not being enough; it was about me being too scared to admit how much I needed you."

You felt a rush of emotions at his words, warmth spreading through your chest, your eyes welling up with tears that mirrored the sincerity and vulnerability in his voice.

He took another deep breath, then knelt before you, the little box in his hand now open to reveal a ring—his grandmother's ring, rich with history and sentiment. "I can't imagine my life without you, and I don't ever want to try," he continued, his voice steady despite the tears that started to form in his eyes. "Will you marry me, Y/N? Will you be the joy in my every day and the peace in every night? Will you let me spend the rest of my life proving that you are, and always will be, more than enough for me?"

The room seemed to hold its breath as you took in the depth of his proposal, every word infused with his love and regret for any pain he had caused. Smiling through your tears, you nodded, words momentarily failing you as emotions took over.

"Yes, Spencer," you managed, voice choked with emotion. "Yes, I will marry you."

As he slipped the ring onto your finger, a symbol of promise and continuity, you both embraced, a long, tight hug that spoke volumes. It was a new beginning, a recommitment not just to each other but to always striving to be the best for each other.

In that moment, the past's shadows seemed to dissolve, replaced by the clarity of a shared future, one built on mutual love, respect, and the unwavering commitment to see each other through not just the easy moments, but especially through the challenging ones.

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tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite @fanfic-viewer @bootylovers44 @atheniandrinkscoffee @niktwazny303 @dead-universe @hbwrelic @kniselle @cynbx @danielle143 @katemusic

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marimbles · 3 months ago

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UM this makes me want to cry what 😭💕 this is so sweet, I’m emotional about it!! you captured all of those scenes so beautifully and with so much love, wow. my heart is so full looking at them 🥹🫶 Thank you so so much for reading my story and creating this beautiful art and sharing it with me!!!!

🌸 Pink 🌸

I just finished binge-reading 'Pink' by @marimbles/@carpisuns and I have so many feelings ❤❤❤ (love, the feeling is love.) I just had to take some scenes out of my head and get them on 'paper'.

Please, go read her lovely work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37140487/chapters/92657932

Spoiler version with texts:

Disclaimer: I’m sharing my art as fan work, with no commercial use or agenda. All credits for Miraculous’ characters go to the original creators and trademark owners. The credits for the text and the scenes go to Marimbles.

#WAHHHHHH #im a puddle omg #this means a whole lot. thank you #especially bc I really struggled with pink for some reason and i didn’t update it for like 2 years lol!!#yeah it just always feels overwhelming (in a good way) when people are so kind about my work #and to inspire other art with my art? the HIGHEST honor #it made me feel such things to look at this 😭 it’s beautiful #the fact that you had marinette’s arms spread out in the classroom scene #just a little detail but it feels like a love letter for you to include it idk!!!#and the flower behind the ear one…omg EXACTLY how I pictured it💕#her endearing little smile in the highlighter one 😭#adrien lying there moony-eyed like the big ole smitten sap he is!!! (you captured his Soft In Love expression perfectly)#and his smug little teasing face djdjkdd i know I wrote that line but I’m gonna smack him #anyway. wahhhh thank u sm again 🥹🫶#this made my day #ml #nice things

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kairoot · 2 months ago

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𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗔, 𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘. ──── 𝐍𝐑𝐊.

after your only childhood best friend leaves to visit his family in Japan, you decide to write one hundred— yes, one hundred letters to him, each one explaining your feelings for him in intricate detail. you send them off just before Christmas arrives so he can receive them the same day he’s opening presents. the only wish that you have for this holiday is that he feels the same way..

☕️ .. pairing: 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽！𝗋𝗂𝗄𝗂 𝗑 𝑓．𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

☕️ .. includes: 𝖾𝗎𝗇𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾 （𝗅𝗌𝗋𝖿𝗆），𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇 （𝗇𝗐𝗃𝗇𝗌） ☕️ .. genre: 𝑓𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿，𝑓𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌

☕️ 𝒘arnings: 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀，𝗉𝗁𝗒𝗌𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝗈𝗎𝖼𝗁，𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗂𝖿 𝗂 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝗒．

💌 ──── i feel like this was kinda rushed but i wanted to give you guys something for the holidays. :)

“i’ll be back before you know it,” riki had said to you before he boarded his plane. he hugged you tightly, slightly rocking you side to side before planting a kiss on your head.

you weren’t dating, but he’d always given you a very friendly kiss on your head since you were little kids.

“yeah, but time will still go by so slow..” you said, your arms tightening around him, not wanting him to leave your side. riki chuckled, patting your head and trying to wriggle free from your tight grip.

“y/n, let’s go before i leave you to go to japan with him!” your friend, haerin yelled from her car. you sighed before letting him go, looking up with a frown on your face.

“alright, let me go before haerin bites our heads off,” riki laughed, unraveling your arms from around him. you felt your heart sank as he picked up his luggage and said goodbye to you. you watched him turn to leave and get on the plane while he still smiled at you, his eyes never leaving yours.

you took one last look at the aircraft before leaving to get back into haerin’s car.

you climbed into the backseat, looking out the window as haerin pulled out of the airport’s parking lot.

the beginning of the ride was silent before eunchae turned to face you from the passenger seat, giving you a sad smile.

“did you at least tell him?” she asked.

you shook your head, ”i couldn’t tell him right before he left, chae.”

she hummed in response before turning back around in her seat.

but that was two days ago.

it obviously hadn’t been long since riki left but you were starting to feel lonely even with him gone for that long. he’d texted you a few times in between the 2-day gap, but you couldn’t talk to him much since he was with his family.

haerin and eunchae tried taking you out for a bit to get your mind off of him but you just couldn’t. it’s not like he moved back to japan but there was one thing in particular that was bothering you.

you loved riki. with all of your heart, and your friends knew that.

everyday that you were with him, they encouraged you to tell him but you just couldn’t. it wasn’t something you could say in front of him which is also why you don’t say anything before he left for japan.

but being away from him only hurt you so much because he was so far away. what if he meets someone new? what if he rekindles an old relationship?

these are all things that went through your mind before and after he left.

“n/n, are you gonna finish that paper? you’ve been staring at it for the past 5 minutes.” haerin commented, giggling at your dazed expression.

“what? oh. yeah, sorry.”

you sat on your bed with papers spread out everywhere as you worked on your last assignment before winter break. eunchae and haerin had decided to come over and join you to study.

“so.. we were thinking,” eunchae began, looking at haerin, and then you.

“since tomorrow’s our last day, maybe we could hit the skating rink with ryo and chan? you know, just do you can have a little fun while your buddy’s gone.”

“aw, chae.. no way! why do i have to be left with you two and your boyfriends?” you whined.

“hey! ryo is not my boyfriend. we just.. kiss and cuddle.. and hold hands on occasion.” haerin defended, crossing her arms as she mumbled the last part.

“so… he’s your boyfriend?”

haerin scoffed before going back to writing on her paper.

“c’mon, y/n! hang with us at least once? you’re always with riki.” eunchae argued, a small pout on her face as she begged you to tag along with them.

you sighed, thinking for a moment, “fine.”

eunchae did a small celebratory dance before giving you a small side hug and resuming her studies.

the next day was your last day in school before winter break. it was tough having to walk through the halls and get to your classes without riki by your side. you missed the sound of his laugh and his corny jokes that he told just to make you smile.

but you got through it. you managed to make small conversation with him during your lunch period before you had to put your phone away to go back to class.

when the day was done, you went home to change and wait for haerin & eunchae to pick you up. you had sent riki a quick text, telling him where you were going and how you’re night was gonna go, but he never got back to you.

“you ready to go?” haerin asked as you climbed into her car, getting comfortable in your spot in the backseat. you nodded before she pulled out of your driveway, turning in the direction of the skating rink.

the ride made you feel somewhat better, taking your mind off of how much you missed your best friend and the weight of confessing to him once he came back.

you all would be meeting up with ryo and chan, so it was just a girl’s ride while you all talked about different things, eunchae’s playlist playing in the background.

once you arrived, you greeted the two boys that stood outside of the rink and went outside to grab your skates.

the rink was swarming with couples and people who came for double dates. it made you feel left out again, as you watched haerin and eunchae’s boyfriends help them with their skates. eunchae was wobbling around like a newborn foal, but chan was there to help her stay up on her feet.

you looked away, a slight frown on your face as you began to stand up on your own. you weren’t too good of a skater but you weren’t that bad, either. of course you usually had riki there to help you, but that obviously wasn’t the case this time. so you held onto the railing, making your way out to the rink where tons of couples held hands and held onto each other.

a few moments after, haerin and eunchae joined you on the rink, both of them standing by your side and grabbing your hand to help you across the rink. you looked at them in surprise, as they smiled at you.

“what’re you guys doing? i thought you were skating with ryo and chan?” you asked, gripping onto their hands as they guided you slowly.

“nah, those two knuckleheads are too busy racing with some random frats they found. besides, we couldn’t leave our girl all alone.” haerin explained to you, nudging you playfully.

you gave her a genuine smile, your heart warming at your two girlfriends being there for you when you needed them the most.

some of your favorite songs played throughout the rink and all three of you just had to dance. just when you thought you’d be skating alone, your night was replaced with laughter and you and your friends slipping on the rink more times than you can count. you all danced together each time a new song played and eventually, ryo and chan joined you.

even without riki there beside you, you had the time of your life.

once you all were too tired to keep skating, haerin drove back to your house while ryo and chan went to pick up a bunch of snacks from the store.

“well, the night wasn’t a disaster after all.” you sighed in content, taking your coat and shoes off as your friends set up in the living room with blankets and pillows.

“see? you should trust us more, y/n,” haerin said, giving you an ‘i told you so’ look. you chuckled at her response before entering the living room to turn on the tv and search for a movie until the boys arrived at your house.

once you found a movie for all of you, ryo and chan came back with all of your snacks and you all settled in the living room. you were bundled up in a blanket on your sofa while eunchae and chan shared the recliner. haerin and ryo sat next to you but cuddled up to each other.

your head rested in your hand as you watched the film play on the television in front of you, letting your thoughts drift off to riki. you wondered what he was doing at that very moment, wondering if he had thought about you since he left.

he was probably off doing something amazing, not really worrying about what you had going on back at home.

just then, you thought about the holiday season. christmas was in two days but you still didn’t get riki anything. you would’ve gotten him a game or some type of gift card for his console, but you get things like that for him every year, even for his birthday. this year you needed to do something different.

and since you didn’t have much cash on you, why not just craft something?

or write something.

you stood up from the sofa, throwing the blanket off of you and quietly walking upstairs. you entered your bedroom, quickly finding a piece of lined paper and your favorite pencil. you sat down at your desk, placing the paper in front of you, thinking about what to write.

you thought of your confession and all of the things you wanted to say to him before he left. you had the chance, but you didn’t take it. you were too afraid of rejection, too nervous to say those words while he was standing in front of you. but what better way to tell him than to sum it up in one big letter?

you smiled to yourself as you began to write down your thoughts and feelings toward him.

a few hours had flew by and now it was past 12. papers were scattered across your desktop and you’d written more than just a few words and letters.

your wrist and fingers ached from the amount of writing you’d done but you weren’t upset about it. it was everything you wanted, no— needed, to say. the only wish you had was that he felt the same way. he didn’t even have to give you anything materialistic; as long as you weren’t embarrassing yourself and that the feeling was mutual, you’d be fine.

you found a few envelopes in your drawer, folding the papers in an order and placing them in the envelopes. you signed your name on some of them with a red heart and wrapped one of your hair bows around the stack of letters.

you placed them to the side for now, knowing you’d get up first thing in the morning to take then to the nearest post office so he could get them in time for christmas.

after putting all of your supplies away, you walked over to your bed, pulling the covers back and settling into your sheets.

inside of your parents’ home, it smelled of cinnamon and pine tree as all of your friends and family piled into the rooms, waiting to open their gifts.

you greeted some of them with a smile before entering the kitchen again to help your mom with the food she’d made for the holiday dinner.

“have you heard from him, yet?” she asked, turning to you while you stirred one of the dishes for her.

“mom,“ you chuckled slightly, the question almost catching you off guard.

“what? y/n, it’s all you’ve been worried about. i know how much he means to you.” she spoke softly, rubbing your arm.

“but i haven’t said anything about him,”

“you don’t have to,” she said. “i know that look. when you’re stressing.”

you hated how she knew you so well. how everyone knew you so well and could tell when you were bothered.

“i’m gonna assume the answer is no, then.”

you shook your head, confirming her assumption. she sighed, squeezing your arm gently.

“these things take time, sweetheart. he’ll answer.”

you set the table for everyone while your parents brought out pots and pans filled with the dishes your mother had prepared.

you gave everyone their glasses as they poured their selection of beverage, most of them just choosing water. you sat in your seat once you were done handing out silverware and plates.

everyone’s plates now had food they’d probably never forget, thanks to your mom’s cooking. the room filled with conversation, your friends conversing with some of your cousins about clothes and shopping while others thanked your parents for the generous invite and spoiling them with meals and gifts.

you smiled at the sight of everyone talking and enjoying each other’s company, while you began making conversation of your own, talking with eunchae about more plans for your winter break.

just then, the door bell rang, causing some of the chatter to die down a bit.

“i’ll get it,” you excused yourself from the table, walking toward the door.

when you opened the door to see who was out there, you weren’t expecting to see the taller male, dark hair sleek and combed back with a strand hanging loosely in the front.

“riki,” you let out a breath before you were cut off with the feeling of his cold but soft lips against yours. to say it caught you by surprise would be an understatement but you reciprocated, your lips moving in sync with his.

your hand came to rest on the side of his face as he bent down slightly, deepening the kiss.

as you both finally pulled away, your fingers rested against your lips, savoring the feeling that you had longed for.

“uhm, i take it you received your gift?” you asked softly, your faces still just inches apart.

“well, i mean…” he chuckled, gesturing towards his lips.

you laughed, looking away from him for a moment as you thought about him reading all the things you said in the letters. how you told him how much you’d liked him since you two started middle school together.

“the feelings’ mutual, by the way.” he nudged you teasingly.

“oh, i think i got that part,” you say, laughing once more, pulling him inside the house and closing the door behind you.

• • •

#𝒮𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑒𝑑，ℳ𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑛 ⊹ ₊˚#kairoot #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #niki enhypen #enhypen ni ki #enhypen reactions #enhypen fic #enhypen ff #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x female reader #enhypen soft thoughts #friends to lovers #enhypen friends to lovers #k films #enhablr

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urno1luv · 2 months ago

Note

Can you please make the puppy gf yunjin into a full fic/imagine including the things you already said in the short you posted? 🙏🙏🙏

encountering a clingy puppy hybrid called yunjin and falling in love with her, despite her weird and often creepy antics -◇

tags: clingy yunjin, breaking in, she's lowkey a creep (but not a perverted one), obsessive?, desperate sex (gp and non gp versions)

The first time Yunjin noticed you, her world tilted. Her floppy ears perked up, her pupils dilated, and her tail wagged in excitement. Something about you—the way you smiled shyly at your friend, the way your voice carried across the room—made her chest ache in ways she didn’t understand. It wasn’t love at first sight. It was more than that.

From then on, Yunjin became a shadow in your life, always lingering just a step behind, like a lost puppy. At first, you thought it was sweet. She’d always find you during breaks, showing up with your favorite snacks or insisting on walking you to your next class, her arm in yours. Her presence was magnetic—warm, comforting. You didn’t notice how tightly her fingers gripped your arm when she pulled you closer, or how her smile faded the moment someone else tried to talk to you.

But then, the texts started.

“Where are you?”

“Who are you with?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

You’d barely reply before your phone buzzed again, another question, another demand. The messages came at all hours, and when you didn’t respond, she’d call—her voice breathless, almost panicked.

“I was worried,” she’d say, her tone dripping with sweetness, though there was an edge to her words that made you uneasy.

One evening, as you were heading home, you spotted Yunjin waiting outside your door. She wasn’t supposed to know where you lived...😰

“Yunjin?” you asked, trying to mask the surprise in your voice. “What are you doing here?”

She smiled, holding up a bag, her canines shining through her genuine smile. “You mentioned you weren’t feeling well, so I brought you soup. I just wanted to take care of you.”

It was a thoughtful gesture, but the way her warm eyes bore into yours made your skin prickle.

“Thanks, but… how did you know where I live?”

Her smile widened. “Oh, I asked around. It wasn’t hard.”

You didn’t have the heart to turn away such a sweet girl, but as she followed you inside, something about her presence felt suffocating. She hovered too close, her eyes flicking to every detail in your home as if she were memorizing it. You noticed how she made sure to rub her cheek on your neck... was she scenting you?

That night, after she left, you found a strand of her hair on your pillow.

Days turned into weeks, and Yunjin’s behavior grew more intense. She started showing up unannounced more often, always with an excuse—she’d forgotten something at your place, or she just wanted to see you. She knew your schedule better than you did, waiting for you after classes, walking you home, always there, always watching. Her yearning gaze would follow you in a way that made your stomach twist.

When you tried to set boundaries, Yunjin brushed them off with a laugh, acting as if you were joking.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” she teased, but her tone was laced with something darker. To make a point, she suddenly bit your wrist, hard enough to leave a mark, giggling at your yelping.

One day, you decided to take a different route home, hoping for a moment of peace. But as you turned the corner, you found her waiting at the end of the street, her smile too perfect, too knowing.

“You didn’t think I’d lose track of you, did you?” she asked, tilting her head. Her voice was light, but her eyes burned with something that made your heart race.

You tried to brush it off, but Yunjin’s presence only became more suffocating. She started leaving notes in your bag, little love letters written in her elegant handwriting.

“You’re mine,” one read.

“We belong together,” said another.

---◇

The final straw came when you woke up one night to find her sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Yunjin?!” you gasped, scrambling back against the headboard.

She tilted her head, in pure puppy fashion, her expression unnerving you. “You left your window unlocked,” she said, as if that explained everything. “I got worried when you didn’t text me back. I couldn’t sleep not knowing if you were okay.”

Her fevour and devotion for you sent a chill down your spine. You tried to steady your voice. “Yunjin, this… this isn’t normal. You can’t just come into my house like this.”

Her smile faltered, and for a moment, something flickered in her eyes—hurt, anger, desperation.

“I’m doing this because I love you,” she said softly, her voice trembling. “Don’t you see? You’re my everything. I can’t… I can’t lose you.”

You didn’t know what to say, your mind racing as you tried to figure out how to get her to leave. But before you could speak, she leaned closer, her hands softly holding your face, her warm hands and heavy breathing soothing your panic slightly.

“You don’t have to be scared,” she whispered. “I’ll always take care of you. Always.”

Her words sounded more like a promise than reassurance, and as she stood to leave, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was far from over.

The door clicked shut behind her, but her presence lingered—an invisible weight pressing down on you. You stared at the window she’d used to sneak in, your heart pounding as you realized she would never let you go.

when you fall in love ---◇

- despite her overwhelming presence, Yunjin’s softer moments make your heart flutter. the way she looks at you, like you’re her entire world, becomes addictive.

- her obsessive attention to detail feels flattering at times—she remembers everything about you, from your favorite coffee order to the way you like your books organized.

- when she clings to your arm or rests her head on your shoulder, you feel a strange sense of comfort, like you’re her safe place.

- her determination to always take care of you becomes endearing, especially when she shows up with things you didn’t realize you needed, like an umbrella on a rainy day or soup when you’re sick.

- you catch yourself smiling when she texts you goodnight every single night without fail, her messages filled with warmth and affection.

- the intensity in her gaze when she talks to you makes your stomach flip—it’s like she’s silently telling you how much you mean to her.

- over time, her possessiveness starts to feel less threatening and more like she’s terrified of losing you, which makes you want to protect her in return.

- her vulnerability during emotional moments tugs at your heart; the way her voice shakes when she says, “I can’t lose you,” makes you realize how much she needs you.

- the little notes she leaves for you, filled with sweet words and doodles, make your chest feel warm. you keep them tucked away, unable to throw them out.

- one day, when she shyly confesses how deeply she feels for you, her honesty is so raw and sincere that you can’t help but fall for her too. And now you're girlfriends let's gooo🗣‼️

how sex with yunjin is like (non gp version) -◇

- she NEEDS close contact,so she makes sure to have you extremely close when fucking. any position where she doesn't see your face? she's NOT doing it, always whining and grumbling in your ear when she fucks you with her favourite navy blue strap from behind, but you suggested doing it in front of a mirror, and that was the best day of her life. the mascara running down your face, drool running down your chin, and it turns out it's not so bad!!! bc she can lean down and mark your back whenever she wants!! your sessions always end in you flinching in pain when you feel her bite marks, but yunjin won't let you sit in pain for too long!! no no!! she has the BEST aftercare in the world🤞🤞

- praises you ALL the time. she hates degrading you, doesn't like the idea of even disrespecting you, even if you want it😭she definitely says stuff along the lines of:

"C'mon baby, just one more, give me one more doll, i know you can. I know you can do it for me."

"You're so pretty underneath me like this, d'ya know that?"

"Ugh, you feel so fucking good, you're so fucking wet for me, you like that, y/nnie?"

- certified service dom, and ur her lucky pillow princess

- she will scream and throw a tantrum if she doesn't get to taste you on her tongue for at least 2 hours a day. yunjinnie begs all day for you, following you around your house. even at college she would ask to have you. "please, pleaseeee? you're not being a good girlfriend right now."

- when she doesn't get what she wants she wants talk to you at all, until you give it to her. and so you reluctantly do, and that was a mistake. she doesn't let you go until she's positive that you can't walk or talk and your brain scrambled. when there's saliva everywhere, and your clit is sore and an angry shade of red, the 9th orgasm gushing out of your pussy, and your body limp?? she's accomplished her life's purpose.

(gp version) -◇

- desperate as fuck. her breeding kink is absolutely uncontrollable. she would bend you over the kitchen counter, smacking your ass while pulling your panties off (you dont bother wearing clothes around her because shes going to rip them off anyway). she'd push her dick into your pussy, and when she feels you clench around her tip, she already feels like she's in heaven. she wpuld pump her hot, thick cum into you until youre gripping the edge of the counter, panting heavily.

- marking you everywhere. your neck, your waist, your belly, your shoulders, your wrist, your thighs, your pu-

- she lives for the sound you make when you gag on her fat cock... quickly thrusting deep, so that your nose is pressed against her tummy, and her heavy balls slap against your chin as she repeatedly fucks your face without warning

- like the non gp version, she prefers to see your face, and positions like mating press are the best in her opinion!! that's where her cock hits the deepest, and filling your pussy up with her semen is the only thought in her mind rn🤞🤞

#urno1luv #huh yunjin #huh yunjin x fem reader #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin x fem reader #yunjin le sserafim #yunjin smut #yunjin x reader #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #girl group smut #girl group x female reader #le sserafim x fem reader #lesserafim x reader

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markrosewater · 9 months ago

Text

Elegance

Here’s my original article for Elegance.

This is a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a long time. Ironically, the words needed to explain the concept kept the column from being elegant. So I did what all artists do. I found a way to say a lot in a little space.

Enjoy,

Mark Rosewater

[NOTE: EACH OF THE ABOVE FIFTY WORDS IS HYPERLINKED. BELOW IS THE FIFTY HYPER LINKS. THE HEADERS SHOULDN’T BE ON THE LINKED PAGE. I’M JUST INCLUDING THEM SO YOU KNOW WHAT EACH LINK IS.]

ELEGANCE

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary has five definitions for elegance:

• refined grace or dignified propriety

• tasteful richness of design or ornamentation

• dignified, gracefulness or restrained beauty of style

• scientific precision, neatness and simplicity

• something that is elegant

The common elements appear to be dignity, simplicity, and taste.

THIS

Elegance requires thinking, but it also requires feeling. Elegant prose is judged by how it makes the reader feel. It needs to generate a sense of calm that puts the reader at ease. Everything in your writing should feel as if it was carefully positioned to create the proper effect.

Pound for pound, the writer’s greatest writing tool is the verb. Nouns add substance and adjectives add flourish, but it’s the verb that drives the sentence. Choose a strong, descriptive verb and the sentence has flair and purpose. Choose a weak one and the sentence lacks any sense of drama.

Here’s a little game to test an elegance relevant skill (based on an old game called Inklings). Randomly choose a noun. Try to convey that noun to the other players using the least number of letters possible. You’ll be surprised how much you can communicate in just a few letters.

TOPIC

One of the greatest stumbling blocks to elegance is the inability to choose a single focus. Elegance requires simplicity. Simplicity requires a single purpose of thought. This means that elegance starts before you write a single word. A good sculptor must know his image before he picks up his chisel.

I’VE

One of the common misconceptions of elegance is that it requires a writer to be fancy. Elegance though is more about familiarity than formality. You shouldn’t be afraid of friendlier language such as slang or contractions, assuming that such language adds an element of ease rather than one of laziness.

WANTED

An important element of elegance is a sense of passion. Brevity does not mean pulling away emotionally from words, but rather the opposite. When you find yourself limited to fewer words, you must pack each individual word with extra emotional punch. You are not reducing your message, simply your messenger.

A good tool in understanding elegance is studying poetry. Poetry is the most concise of all written art forms. It strives to maximize impact while minimizing expression. Each word carries the burden of evoking some essence of the poet’s message. If it cannot carry its own weight, it is excised.

WRITE

To be an elegant writer, you have to become a student of prose. You have to study the mechanics of language to understand how it can be shaped. Once you have learned how to transfer the feeling in your head into meaningful words, you are on the path to elegance.

ABOUT

Be careful not to fall in love with ambiguity. While intoxicating in its beauty, it is the enemy of elegance. Remember, the goal is not to make the reader struggle for comprehension. Rather it is to lead them to the obvious conclusion. Elegance should be used to illuminate, not confuse.

FOR

Elegant prose requires connecting with your reader. To do this, you have to understand who that reader is. Nothing should come before this task. It needs to be done before writing can begin. I like to compare this to planning a trip. Maps are useless until you know your destination.

Another major key to elegance is the understanding of the importance of the tiniest detail. Just as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, a piece of prose is only as tight as its messiest detail. A good writer doesn’t stop at the nouns, verbs and adjectives.

LONG

Don’t confuse elegance with brevity. Elegant things are short not because they have to be but because the difficulty to craft an elegant piece of prose combined with the limitations of time forces writers to be brief. Elegant novels, for example, do exist, but they are few and far between.

TIME

To quote Roman orator (and letter writer) Marcus T. Cicero, “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.”

Simplicity takes more time not less. Anyone can get a point across with ten thousand words. But a true artist can do it in ten (or possibly fifty).

IRONICALLY

Irony is a potent tool for commentary. Its genius lies in the fact that it comments not on what is, but rather on what isn’t. Like all good humor, irony makes you laugh. But like the best type of humor, it also makes you think. It’s both funny and funny.

THE

Elegance in writing is about more than words. Equally important is how the words are woven together. Tempo, pacing, rhythm – these are the tools that set the mood for the piece. Try reading aloud your text. The natural beat of language is more suited for the ear than the eye.

WORDS

To realize the power of words, you must first understand how they work. Art is expressive; words are connotative. That is, words draw their power from their ability to extract different ideas from different people. A circle is a circle, but the concept of “scary” varies from person to person.

NEEDED

Elegance is not the result of any one attribute. It is the combination of numerous factors coming together in harmony. This is why it’s such a hard skill to master. Most people can pat their head or rub their tummy. But put them together and it’s not quite so easy.

An elegant piece of prose needs to hit the reader at a gut level. Often they won’t know exactly why they like it, but they will recognize that something about the piece moves them. There are many types of writing where subtlety is lost. Elegant writing isn’t one of them.

EXPLAIN

There are many ways for you to explain an idea. The most elegant one though is not through definition but by example. By connecting your idea to one already known by the reader, you’re leaving the work of teaching to someone in the past. Education is hard. Comparison is easy.

THE

If writing is like building a house, the structure is like the foundation. Its design will dictate how the house is built. If it’s faulty, no amount of fancy brickwork will undo the damage. So take the time to ensure your structure is building the kind of prose you want.

CONCEPT

Never underestimate the power of a concept. An important part of elegance is condensing big ideas into little words. This is far from an easy task. It often takes a genius an entire lifetime to create a truly innovative concept. So take advantage of all their hard work and inspiration.

KEPT

A common barrier to elegance is the belief that only one way will work. Often a writer is unable to abandon a beloved piece of prose even when evidence demonstrates otherwise. If something doesn’t add to the larger sense of the piece, you have to learn to let it go.

THE

Readers notice things at a minute level far beyond their mind’s ability to interpret. This means that although they may not consciously notice many of your tiny details, they will do so unconsciously. Aesthetics teach us that it’s this unconscious structure that will determine whether or not it feels “right”.

COLUMN

All communicators, whether through speaking or print, need to find a voice. A voice provides familiarity and it teaches the listener or reader how to more quickly absorb the information. Elegance is all about the conservation of ideas. Having a pre-learned voice to guide you is a very valuable tool.

FROM

I’ve spent some time talking about understanding your reader. But there is one more person who is even more important to understand – yourself. Writing is about sharing your ideas with others. If you haven’t spent the time to figure out what you think, how can you possibly communicate it?

BEING

“A picture is worth a thousand words.”

Or so the saying goes. What the cliché forgets to mention is how many words a single word is worth. For example, take the word “being”. To capture the essence of what “being” represents is tens of thousands of words if not more.

ELEGANT

What is the value of being elegant? Why should you care? Elegance adds aesthetics. It evokes poetry. It grants beauty. Elegant prose draws the reader closer because it gives them something to not just learn but to admire. Good prose stimulates the head, but elegant prose resonates in the heart.

Who, what, where, when, how - all important questions. But for a writer they pale next to why. If you don’t understand the reasoning beneath the surface, the other details are irrelevant. The act of elegance is cementing the why. It’s taking the purpose and engraining it into the piece.

Elegance is a very personal thing. If something doesn’t resonate with you, there’s no way for it to resonate with your reader. Writing is an art, not a science. There is no rulebook for how things must be done. If your instincts are telling you that something isn’t working, listen.

DID

An important tool in your toolbox is time. Elegance cannot be rushed. Mental ruts only get deeper the harder you focus on them. Make sure to work time into your schedule so you are able to walk away from your writing. An hour next week is worth a day today.

WHAT

Don’t let attention to detail pull you away from having a larger sense of what you’re writing. Take this column as an example. While I spent a lot of time fine tuning each entry I never lost sight of the effect they created when all the entries were put together.

ALL

Elegance requires taking a holistic view of writing. Every word, every sentence, every paragraph is a piece in a larger puzzle. It’s not enough to understand the impact of a single element. You must understand how any two elements interact if you want to understand the potency of your text.

ARTISTS

Elegance and art are very intertwined. Both seek to achieve a similar goal: to illuminate and inspire with a conservation of expression. If you’re trying to be elegant, I think it helps to think of yourself as an artist. The instinct for the latter mirrors the needs of the former.

An important part of any writing is understanding the feeling you’re trying to evoke. And then realizing what mechanic tools you have available to evoke that feeling. Diction, verb tense, sentence length, alliteration, word flow, phonetic juxtaposition – each of these will control the mood and tone of your piece.

A writer’s life is the ultimate fodder. Don’t be ashamed to plumb your own experiences. You understand them deeper and more personally than anyone else. No painter would refuse to use his finest paints. And, as a bonus, by using your own experiences, you will become better educated about yourself.

FOUND

Don’t forget that the act of revealing is also an act of exploration. Don’t be afraid if you learn more than the reader you’re trying to educate. Writing is not an exact science. (Or even an exact art.) Often you will find that the road to salvation has a fork.

Your future is paved with your past. If you want to learn how to grow as a writer, you need to look back at what you’ve written. With time and a detached eye, your will find your mistakes become clearer. Remember that it’s failure, not success, that bests drives education.

WAY

The problem with looking for a single solution is that you’ll never find more than one. And the first one isn’t always the best. But if you’re open to the possibility that every problem has an infinite number of answers, you’ll have the freedom of choosing the solution you want.

Sentences are filled with freeloaders. Because writers seem to love overwriting. (I include myself in this camp.) Make sure to create time for the editor side of you to prune unnecessary words. If a word can be excised without any harm to the sentence, it has no right being there.

SAY

I’m spending my time today talking about elegance in prose, but most of what I’m saying is applicable in speech. The key difference is that prose has less defining attributes like appearance or tone. The key to elegant speech is making people focus on the words rather than everything else.

It’s ironic that something designed to be so simple can be so complex. But that, my faithful readers, is the joy (and mystery) of elegance. Like an onion, elegance has numerous layers that reveal themselves as you slowly peel them away. Oh yeah, and it can sometimes make you cry.

LOT

An interesting exercise is to look at each word you’re using and think about how much content is loaded in that word. Then explore what other words exist that fulfill the same role but with added content. Once you’ve found the word you can’t best, move onto the next word.

A good way to get better at understanding elegance is to look for it in every day life. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised where and how often you find it. Study each example carefully and try to see if you can put your finger on what makes it work.

Writing is a shared endeavor. No one owns the words. If someone uses a technique that works, there’s no shame in borrowing it. Like science, writing creates technology that’s brought back to the group to spur further advancements. Elegance is hard enough to accomplish without refusing to use the toolbox.

LITTLE

How big should a piece of text be if you want it to be elegant? The answer is as big as it needs to be – and not a word more. Just think of it as playing the game Jenga. Keep pulling words out of your prose until it collapses.

SPACE

One of the most important lessons in art is learning the value of negative space, the idea that the eyes are equally drawn to what isn’t there. Prose has a very similar quality. When writing pay careful attention to what you aren’t saying. Often it will speak the loudest volume.

ENJOY

For some reason people tend to equate dignity with seriousness. And as such they come to the false conclusion that elegance has no room for humor. Ironic as humor is one of the most elegant of styles. A good joke is no longer than is necessary to do its job.

MARK

As is always true when I head off the beaten path, I am curious to hear your feedback. What did you think of this article? Was it entertaining? Was it educational? Did you actually read all fifty links? And if not, why not?

Tell me. Inquiring mind wants to know.

ROSEWATER

I couldn’t end this week’s column without my trademark closing. I mean, how inelegant would that be?

Join me next week when I go from being a letter man to a Letterman.

Until then, may you learn to appreciate now just the “what” but the “how” and “why”.

Mark Rosewater

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leoascendente · 2 years ago

Text

PAC / Details about the love of your life 💕

I'm back my lovesss! 💖 I'm late with this pac as always but I have to be a responsible adult too. As always with love spreads I try to write with no gender, I always talk about dominant energy of your FS. Take a cup of tea cause this is a long spread

Decks I used: Enchanted love tarot, dark wood tarot, astrodices, romance angels oracle, love oracle cards, goddess guidance oracle and the hidden truth oracle.

Take a deep breath and choose the pile you feel more drawn to, you can choose more than 1 if you feel it, maybe you have more messages in more piles. Take always what resonates and leave the rest

For private readings click here

I love you 🥰

Pile 1:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: Express your love, true love/ honeymoon)

Omg pile 1 your fs is going to love you so so much you will never doubt their feelings! They will want to make sure you know how important you are for them in every moment, your FS is very loving and caring. The whole spread repeats travel and movement, so you may live in very distanced places from the other or you may travel to new places together to spend quality time by eachother's side, in another sense it could mean that your fs will make you feel like you live in an endless honeymoon. Their love language is majorly about quality time together and words of affirmation, they might have a talent with words and they write letters to you very often, their voice has something special too. I see an specific situation of someone leaving post it everywhere with cute quotes on them telling you how much they love you and things like that. From the very first moment you meet both of you will feel something special like you are the kind of person they've been yearning for and viceversa, if you are an intuitive person somehow you'll know it's them, the feeling when you meet and spend time with them won't be a spark shining within, it's a thunder like no other. They'll probably show their love and interest in you pretty fast, they will be straight forward with you letting you know they want to make you part of their life and include you in their plans. I see clearly that good humor and laugh will be present in all your meetings, your fs loves your smiles and hear you laugh so surely they will be joking all around just to rip an smile of your face.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: 10 of roses; princess of shells; 6 of gems; king of roses // Astrodices: Sagittarius; north node; 2nd house)

Mmmmmm this person is really sexy, they are very physically attractive and has nice facial features, probably the kind that catches everybody's eye when they walk in a room, they also has a confident body language. I feel they are very sexually active people or has a high libido but prefers to be generous with their partner in bed over focusing on their own pleasure, so they will make sure you are having a good time with them everytime you have intimacy, there will be a lot of sexual chemistry and tension between you two, you FS will like to tease you because they will feel so so attracted to you like you had a magnet just for them, they will make you touch the stars, babe! (my scorpio lilith feels very happy for you right now 😏 ). I see your person has a generous and humble nature, they laugh a lot and loves to cuddle, they are very hardworking so they can provide their beloved ones and live a comfortable life, they really enjoy giving to others because generosity is always repeating in my head while I channel for you. Very masculine energy but a little imbalanced because they like to over work, they love their work and that's why they dedicate so much attention to it, it's probably because they are following their true passion or their job is a dream come true, their job might also involve traveling. They are very successful at their job or studies as well even though they want more, not just gor ambition but for the chamce to learn more and improve their skills because they know their true potential. They are well respected and looks like someone nice and kind with everybody, they have a very warm energy even though they can look intimidating (this might be because of their physical appearance because I keep hearing about the "big boy" tiktok trend), do you know this astrology pictures that says looks like they could kill you on the outside, is a cinnamon roll on the inside, well, this is probably the best way to describe your fs. They like to make a safe space for you to feel comfortable, your person enjoys so much more to give than to receive in every aspect of their life, they will value a lot the time you spend with them and will see you as their equal, someone they can open up and show their vulnerable side so they will expect the same trust from you. They are passionate and follow their heart in everything they do, even if that means making mistakes they are willing to learn and grow, they are also very wise like the counselor of their family or group of friends, they surely gives great advices.

You two were meant to find eachother and create a life together, this is a major connection, the love of a lifetime for sure! For some, there might be an age gap between you two but you will fit at emotional level, you probably will share the same view of the future and both perspectives fit perfectly, you two will be best friends, partners in crime and the love of eachother's life, very supportive of eachother. Your FS is really funny and have a very chill energy, the kind that ends up being the center of attention without trying, they will make you laugh until your tummy hurts, if you go out with more people your person will keep always close to you making everybody knows that you are with them, a little possesive but it's because they want to protect what they love and they will love you so much, their body language is very protective over you. I see the sun and the moon in my head so I feel that you two will be opposite but at the same time very similar, your person feels like the sun with their warm energy but from your side I feel the moon with the calmer and peaceful energy, you might also be in tune with your intuition or your psychic gifts, this will be a very balanced relationship.

Conflictive traits:

(Cards: 4 of swords; king of pentacles; wheel of fortune rev / queen of cups)

Well, your person might give too much importance to money and resources and that keeps them always wanting to earn more and never rest, they might value themselves because of the money they gain or their productivity at work, for some I see that your person is struggling with a goal they really desire but never come true and that keeps them in a state of self judgement. They are aware of their negative traits and knows that some things needs to chage to feel better within themselves but this takes a lot of effort to them and might avoid it by overworking, work might be also a way of escapism because this insatisfaction is about themselves not their work development, maybe it's something about feeling respected by the rest of the world. They realize that money isn't everything in life but this trait may come from their childhood and they are just trying to cope and deal with it the best they can, at least they are conscious about it and want to solve it even if they don't have the tools right now to do it. Looks like they are in a conflictive cycle where they have seen a repetitive pattern, something like a bad habit in their life that they want to chage somehow, but change seems difficult for them. I see your person is trying to get answers of some kind to their inner conflicts, I see them asking why some things had to happen to them and maybe realizing they created some of the storms they had to face in life. In my opinion, this is very healthy for them, I mean, taking responsabilities for our actions is pretty mature, they want to become a better person for when they know you and for their wellbeing, for some I see even some kind of spiritual awakening or them trying any kind of therapy.

How they will view you in the relationship:

(Cards: paradise; passion/ kisses)

Their other half they didn't know was missing

Ahem... Just read the cards and let your imagination fly a little. For your FS, you are going to be the one and only they've been looking for their whole life, they are going to see you as the answer to their prayers and loneliness, their perfect match, that'swhy they are not going to hesitate when they know you. You are going to help them somehow to deal with things that are hard for them and viceversa, there will be a lot of trust to open up but just with eachother (I heard something about internal jokes between both too). You two are a power couple, always lifting eachother and helping to become the better version of yourselves, cheering eachother's victories and giving comfort on the defeats. You will want to build a life together as partners respecting the other's free will, there's a lot of understanding, partnership and respect from this pile. Congrats pile 1, this is a very healthy love story and I feel you needed this kind of relationship to gain back the hope in love. Also, expect a lot of passion and intimacy.

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Sekhmet, be strong/ Green Tara, start delegating)

I feel you've been waiting and longing your person a really long time, you've also commited to work on yourself meanwhile but there's a little feeling of exasperation because you have done all that's needed to attract them without forcing any situation, but I know... patience also has its limit and you might be feeling like they are going to take too much time to come into your life. Sekhmet reminds you to not loose hope, divine things come in divine timing and the kind of love you crave for is very lighthearted and pure one so it's normal it's taking the a little more time. Green Tara tells you to be more in touch with your spirituality, your guides want you to speak to them so they can know how you want them to help you, don't feel bad about asking for your FS because your guides want you to reach all your goals, if a romantic relationship is one of your goals don't be scared to ask for it too.

Extra messages:

Twin flames journey; soul mission; earth rising; beach or places with water bodies; success; gold jewelry; white butterflies and dragonflies; someone famous or fame in general, fire signs; until I found you-stephen sanchez; begin again- taylor swift

Pile 2:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: worth waiting for; you deserve love; wedding)

Your FS is a very straight forward but methodical person, when they want something they do everything at their hand to get it, calculating every step of the road to their goals. Despite of your FS personality, I see that you will make them work hard to prove they are worthy of your time and energy, and babe, they are going to be above your expectations. Your person will be very patient in the process of reaching your heart, they know you are worthy of the effort and the wait so they don't mind because for them it's only you and nobody else. Your person is super polite and have very good manners, if it's a male they are truly a gentleman. They might have a more traditional perspective of life but this will make them want to commit with you sooner and don't waste any moment, probably they will be ready for a formal relationship before you are. But anyway, this person will respect your times until you are ready for moving forward but for them, they will want everything with you after knowing you, not just by the physical but also your personality. This relationship will end up in marriage if you are up to it but if not this will be a very commited relationship, you will only have eyes for eachother, they have a vibe like worshipping you tbh.

For some there's the message that your FS might take a little time to arrive in your life, it might be a proof of patience for you but it will be worthy. You fs will enter in your life after a time of healing yourself, I hear that the most important lesson for you is to put yourself first and love you deeply because the love you give to yourself is the love you are going to attract, make sure it's quality love because that's the kind of love you deserve. Treat yourself like the god/goddess you are because that'sthe way your fs will treat you. Idk why but for some I feel that you already know who your person is, you are just focusing on what you have to do for yourself meanwhile.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: High priestess; the lovers; the devil; queen of roses; the chariot/ Astrodices: Capricorn; mercury; 5th house)

OMGGGG I wish this pile was for me!😂 This energy feels masculine (but you know it's neutral gender) but darnnnnn this person is a gentleman in every sense of the word, so respectful and so polite, they will treat you like their muse and the source of their inspiration. When this person falls in love they do it hard and forever, they might be a little possesive or obsessive about you but it's because somehow you know how to lift them up in a way nobody else can and they have never experienced what they feel for you. There's a lot of attraction between you two but your person will be amazed by you, I see you a little more cold and your person trying to get closer to you everytime they can, maybe at first you reject them even though you'll feel very attracted to them but this might have to be with you because you prefer to take your time to really know them instead of jumping blindly into the unknown. They will love you deeply because that's their way of loving but they will also love to (i'm having a really hard time to avoid this been sexual but... your person is ahem... very horny for you) you have something that drives your person crazy for you, they might tell you that you have a spell on them very often. They are someone really mature even though they can be a young person, they like to take responsability of their life, I feel a traditional vibe from them so they might like to take the provider role in the relationship, they are very into creating a family with their dream partner and this is you. Their love language is mostly material and physical touch, after you let them get close they will never get tired of touching and hugging you, everything you ask for they will put it in your hands, they want to fulfill all your desires but also make your life so much easier and confortable, they also have a foresight eye to the things you might need and they'll put it in your hands even before you tell them. They are wealthy people and probably it shows easily by the way they dress, they might like brand clothes or wears any kind of expensive jewelry, I hear something about perfume so they surely will smell like heaven, they have an intimidating cold look on the outside wkth the rest of the world but they will be such a teddy bear with you showing you a part of themselves they keep hidden because they feel safe with you, they will want to cuddle and hug you always, very into pda too.

Conflictive traits:

(Cards: king of wands; 7of pentacles rev / 8 of cups)

They are not the sentimental type of person, they are more into the logic of things and processing situations through the lens of intellect. They are very intelligent but can also seem cold and dittached at first, but let me tell you, althought their coldness they are easily hurt and they've been very damaged in their past, they just deal with their pain in silence so they might demand some alone time to clear their mind when they have an stressful situation. Even if they don't show their emotions openly, they will tell you about what's going on in their mind for you to understand them better, they will feel comfortable enough with you to open up and tell you about what's going on their mind, they do this with you because they will really appreciate and value your opinion and advice, so they will want to know you point of view about things. They might deal with loneliness and feeling misunderstood by people, they don't seem the extrovert kind even though they have good social skills but mainly when it comes to their work not so much in social situations, or it could mean as well that their job position is something that makes them feel more confident to deal with other people, power and authority is something important for your person to feel safe. They are a little hopeless about their current life and they are just going with the flow waiting for things to get better, this is mostly with their personal life and close relationships. They are not violent at all but they have an strong temper, that's why they need space when angry to avoid saying things they regret later. For some, your fs might have some kind of neurodivergency.

How they will view you:

(Cards: talking; lightning / wedding rings)

Their hope back in life

They'll see you as their divine counterpart, like heaven has put you in their way for some reason, they will want to talk with you for days if they could, your mind and intellect is something that will have them in awe. If you are into spirituality they will also fall in love with you for this, like you give the hope in life they could be missing because of their terrenal and logical mind. You will shake their heart and mind and open to them a whole new world of opportunities. You give them the safe place they were needing and maybe that's the reason why they will have that possesive attitude (I wrote about possesiveness here instead on their difficult traits because I don't feel it as negative but more like a child scared of loosing something they really appreciate, probably has abandonment issues or as I said, some kind of neurodivergency). They will make you know clearly that you are the love of their life and wants to spend all their days with you, they will talk about commitment soon and for some they will tell you they want to marry you soon too.

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Oonahg, easy does it / Sehkmet, be strong)

You might be going through a rough time in your life, this may be a turbulent period but you know that's making you develop new skills and polish the ones you already have. Growth and evolution is important for you now, attending yourself and your deepest needs to build the life you want to live. Focus on creating the life you want besides romance, analyze the future you want for yourself exclusively and the goals you want to achieve, I feel this mostly related to your career so try to connect with your ambitions in this aspect and start building that dream life you deserve. Your person will come in the perfect moment, meanwhile make sure you release anything no longer serving your purpose.

Extra messages:

Unchained melody- elvis presley; rule the wold- take that; 1331; 333; something great will happen in May; repeated numbers are major signs so look for their meaning; moths or bats, nocturnal creatures; purple and crimson.

Pile 3:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: getting to know eachother; religious factors / Calling in your soulmate)

If you are working with visualization, manifesting or attraction law be very specific with your desires about love because you definetely manifested your fs. This relationship will be progressively growing at the time you know better eachother, through that time you'll realize that they are your person but at first, I see that you'll start up as friends and then everything will flow and you'll se how this person has everything you've been asking for in a partner and has all the traits you wanted to attract. You two will fit like puzzle pieces, balance is the word that repeats in my mind when I channel, if you resonate with twin flame journey this person for sure will be your twin flame. They are just made for you and you for them, the connection you two will share will feel magical for both and anyone who knows you, like the heaven has just opened up for you two when you spend time together and everybody can see how you were meant for eachother. Your fs would do anything for you and your happiness and you would do it for them too, you are eachothers' best friend, there's complicity and trust above all in your relationship. For some you might already know your person but right now is not an interest of yours, maybe you have seen eachother but haven't talked yet, is someone that if you see them you know about their existence but is not someone close to you, maybe a friend of a friend or an school classmate you forgot a long time ago.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: the star rev, the empress, the magician, princess of roses, 2 of wings / astrodices: libra, saturn, 10th house)

You FS has big boss vibes, they surely are very successful in their career or comes from a wealthy enviroment, it probably shows because they have a sofisticated and elegant look, they are very nice and well liked by the people who knows them. I hear something about family bussiness so they might work with their family or has a high position in their family circle, their job might be related to laws or arts, they could be interested in these themes too. They are very charming and seductive, their appearence is also very attractive and likes to take care of themselves and their looks, they probably have many admirers but your FS seems to reject every option by the fear of being used for what they have, your fs is looking for deep conections but is a little scared about not being reciprocated in their feelings or face dishonest people. They are very focused on their work and succeding on their field, they want to be valued and recognized because of their good skills, they are so goal oriented that they might spend a lot of time alone, for some is self imposed isolation. If this drive is not related to their career can mean that your fs is currently working on themselves, their growth and evolution in a more psychological way. They probably had a heavy dissapointment in their life that made them focus on what they could do for themselves, they have been improving themselves and evolving to become their best version, they are healing their inner self and solving emotional issues. They are very independent people, they prefer to invest their energies into something useful, I don't see they are too social people they look like they love their own company and doing things for themselves, they surely have more fun watching a sunset on the beach than going to parties.

You FS will have very romantic gestures when they know you, they like to do things in the big way for you, they want to leave a good impression on you from the first moment, they will want you to like them and they cam seem a little clumsy because they are nervous. For some, the first stages of your relationship there could be some distance, maybe your person lives far from you or they have to travel often, maybe their job requires big amounts of time. Anyway, everytime you spend time together it will feel so intimate and unique, it will be only you two like the world around you has just turned off. Theres a lot of romance but in a peaceful energy, like you could read eachother's mind so you could stay in silence for hours staring and would feel great because you are together and you understand eachother. Communication is the major love language of your person, for them is important to share an intellectual connection and feel safe enough to express their opinions.

In some cases I see that there will be some oppositors to your relationship, so be careful of the people you ask for advice because there's one that doesn't enjoy your happiness.

Difficult traits:

(Cards: queen of wands rev, the sun, 3 of swords rev/ the temperance)

Don't expect them to be a super spontaneous person, if you are into adventures and going out of the routine you might be the one in charge of those kind of plans because they are more into more relaxed plans. Your person seem to reject their oportunities of having fun, it feels like they don't think they are ready to deal with other humans or social interactions, they prefer their solitude for the peace and balance it gives them, but that can turn into hermit mode too. They deal with self steem issues and weak boundaries, that made them had heavy heart breaks in their past so they can be suspicious of other people's intentions, they have a hard time trusting. They jump from sorrow and despair to hope and tears of joy, probably has a hard time making important decitions for their personal life. Anyway your person is working on inner personal issues that were holding them back, mostly related to their indecisiveness or constant doubts. I saw the image of someone praying with tattoos on their back, it's a familiar image but I have no idea where I've seen it, so that's a confirmation that you have already met your fs in the 3d but don't know who they are right now. Also the thing about praying combined with temperance is interesting, they are surely working on theirselves and healing inner wounds, they are very close to spirituality somehow, this also could mean that they have a close connection with their guides or their guides are very protective of them. They avoid conflict and arguments to avoid hurting others but forget about the things that hurt them, in general they are very reliable people but they tend to daydream a lot and get lost in their delusions sometimes.

How they'll view you:

(Cards: separation, the dragonfly, healing heart)

Their peace of soul

The time you spend apart will be very heavy to deal with for your FS, they will miss you a lot and will have to deal with some emotional issues they didn't know they had related to romantic relationships and the way they face it. Distance will also make them realize that you are trustworthy and they can just relax and stop worrying, they'll see their own wounds instead of projecting them into you, and honestly, that's such a healthy behavior from them, I see they are very emotinally intelligent and mature. I feel you are a very honest and straight forward person when it comes to your opinions, you are open about your thoughts and feelings and even more when it comes to your fs and your relationship, this trait about you will make them feel a lot more comfortable because they see you don't wear any mask and they are used to people that wears them all the time, they will see they can trust you and that's very important for them. Distance will also be very healing for you, giving you the time and space needed to fully trust and know how your person is too, you two will be devoted to eachother so there won't be place for doubts or worries. This relationship might be a little slow to formalize but it feels so so healthy and emotionally mature from both of you .

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Sige, quiet time; Sedna, infinite supply)

Take more time to rest, my love, you have been dealing with a lot of draining situations and your mind, soul and body are needing a little break from responsabilities. Take also a few minutes to meditate and tune with your inner voice, slow down the rythm for a while because you will thank it later. If money has been an issue for you lately, you can stop worrying, you will have the enough resources, maybe not for all that you want but your needs will be all fullfilled. Thank also the little basic needs you have supplied like a roof over your head, warm blankets to keep away the cold, food to nurture your body... you'll start realizing how abundant and blessed you are, gratitude is the best key to feeling satisfied with our lives meanwhile what we want arrives.

Extra messages:

Here with me- d4vid; red roses; wear warm colors more often; solar plexus chakra; working out routine, 1221; 777; 444; healing limitating beliefs; when we were young- adele

Pile 4:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: free yourself; attraction/ children)

Your fs will fall in love with your true self, you can be fully yourself with them without feeling judged or misunderstood, they will accept and honor even the things you don't like about you, they want to see you shine and they will be willing to ignite the spark within you. Your person is really nice and funny, they will always try to lift you up and your mood, they'll make you believe that no matter what happens they will always be by your side, somehow they make you feel like the world is a beautiful place and you came here to have fun and not fear. They'll take out your inner child to play with theirs and do together all the things you wanted to do as kids and never did, you'll heal eachother without even knowing. Your fs will make you feel like you are home and you'll make them feel the same way, they want to charm you and make you know they are into you above the physical, they want you to trust them and they will work to show you they are trustworthy. I see they see you as a mystery, they'll feel so attracted to you that they will want to dig more and know you better, they will always want to know more about you and never get tired of it, for them there's always something new and amazing about you they want to discover. Children is something important, maybe because any of you already have kids or maybe you know eachother since childhood.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: 7 of shells rev; the magician; ace of wings; ace of roses; the world/ Astrodices: aquarius; the sun; 2nd house)

There are so many number 1 in your spread and I'm writing this at 11:01. Your fs has leader personality but they have their own way of doing things, they might look a little outcast when you look from the outside but they have all their pieces together and knows exactly what they want and what they are doing, even if it's not what people expect from them. They could be a public figure or being in the public eye often, they are also very creative so their job might involve some fame, idk what it is but they can have an artistic career like music or photography, it will be different for all of you. They look like they get along well with everybody and people like them at the moment they know your fs, maybe that's why they'll be chasing you so much, because you don't get easilly impressed by their charms but they seem focused into conquering you (with good intentions, ovbiously) . Your fs is very nice and has an amazing sense of humor, I see people tend to follow them easily because of their confident attitude but they look very individualistic and independent, anyway, they know their charms and how to make use of them. They are very charismatic people but a free spirit, they won't settle for less they know they deserve when it comes to other people's demands, they will respect an opinion but at the end they will do what the heart tells them in the moment.

They have very good social skills and are also very intelligent people, they have an smart and witty sense of humor, they are surely sharp with words and will try to rip a smile of your face everytime they can. Probably they are very physically attractive too, to be specific there's something special about their smile, so they are used to get always what they want, I feel your fs have been a player in their past or they have a flirty way to talk. They have a rebel and confident personality but they are also sttuborn as hell when it comes to what they want, they are also very optimistic about life even if their hopes seems delusional, they have very big goals for their life and are completely focused into achieving it. They want to have an epic life, to live plenty without regreting about what they didn't do, they prefer to aks for forgiveness than for permission even if sounds risky, life is their canvas and their are willing to make a work of art. They want to do something great and be remembered for that, they want to leave a nice print of their existence in the world, if they are going to dream they make sure it's a big dream. They really don't care about what people say or think about them, they are good with themselves and that's enough.

Difficult traits:

(Cards: strength, ace of wands, 8 of pentacles/ queen of swords)

They are the kind of people that wants to win at all cost, competitive and a little cold hearted when it comes to win the prize, they want what they want and hardly accept a no as answer, they are also sttuborn and maybe a little childish when things don't go their way. Maybe it's for some kind of compelx within them but they are really prideful in the good and the bad way, pride for sure is something your person should work on because it might lead them to take some bad decitions. They seem like the kind of actions first and thinking later, they tend to overthink their mistakes and use their work as a way of escape from their problems. They are ambitious to extremes, mostly when it comes with their career and future and not for money, it's for the power it gives them and maybe a little to slap people who understimate them, again related to pride. Honestly, they look like the villain everybody likes, a rebel with a cause.

How they'll view you:

(Cards: the phoenix, I like you, girl talk/ the sword and the rose)

Their reason to believe in magic

You know this meme of homer simpson slowly hiding into a bush?? Well, I had that image in my mind all time while I was writting this. I feel at first you won't be into your fs at all and that rejection is what's going to make your fs chase after you, they might not be used to being rejected, but for you they probably look a little cringy on your first interactions, or at least, you are going to percieve them this way. This is very like enemies to lovers energy tbh, I feel that you both will realize how much you care about eachother after a while, friends will have a lot to do with this realization. Your fs wil be very protective and defensive with you, also you with them, people better treat you respectfully or your fs will jump over them to protect your honor and wellbeing. Your group of friends will be important, for many of you I see you share the same group and they will realize before you two that maybe that rejection you were feeling is turning into attraction, even if you don't want to admit this connection you two will develop you know denial is a river in Egypt and at the end you will stop pushing them away and accepting your feelings because there's an indeniable, true and strong connection between both

Your fs will be the one to make the first step into something more, making you know they are really interested into create a formal relationship with you. They like you and will show it purposely by teasing you and create a more intimate bond outside your group of friends, to make you see they have deep and true feelings for you. I see you have really good friends that love you deeply and wants to see you happy, don't hesitate to ask them their opinion about the situation because they will give you a great guidance through the process.

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Guinevere, true love/ Abundantia, prosperity)

Oooh this message is so lovely 🤭. Your fs is the one you will build an empire of success with, I see two people putting bricks together to build a castle where they'll live happily. How can I turn into words what cards say so clearly? Don't worry about nothing, just enjoy your life because you are destined to have the greatest love story of all times, you are going to be very happy but also very wealthy, money won't be a problem anymore. Your fs and you could build up a bussiness together that will bring you both a lot of success and wealth in the future, so be thankful for what you have now because it will only become more and better.

Extra messages:

Chocolate or candy; 1010; 111; carry an amethyst with you; upcoming blessings; angelic guidance; wings tattoo?; lavender scent; 3rd eye chakra; lucky girl syndrome; I love you- billie eilish; life of the party- shawn mendes.

#witchblr #leoascendente #divination witch #tarot #tarotblr #pick a pile #tarotonline #pac reading #pick a card #pac tarot #soulmate #love reading #love tarot spread #tarot spread #tarotcommunity

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sheepispink · 3 months ago

Text

A Night to Remember ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི COD MASTERLIST

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི Part two of Sweet as Sugar Series. Part one here.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི Next Chapter

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི Summary: After receiving Ghost’s text, you havent been able to get him out of your head. Lost in a daydream, you may have forgotten an important detail, but luckily everything goes ahead as planned and you end up taking more than a warm heart back home.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི WC: 3k

To say he hadn’t consumed all your thoughts was a severe understatement, especially considering you were currently staring into the bathroom mirror at two am with your cheeks still flushed and that last sentence ringing out in your head. You have to forcefully drag yourself into bed and refrain from picking your phone up, reading his message again. Last week you were scolding yourself for still giggling over celebrity crushes—now look at you, practically squirming over a text! It probably wasn’t even like that in the slightest; maybe he just needed to talk to you about some orders from your bakery. With a huff, you finally pull the covers snug over you and force your eyes closed, willing your mind to shut up.

Now the sun has risen high, just like the dough for tonight’s stock, the little open sign turned to signal closed whilst you and your parents churn out as many baked goods as possible before it’s time to set up. Slowly, your knuckles knead through the sticky texture, hands speckled white from flour. You had nearly seventy-five different pastries out yesterday, but with the hunger of the soldiers, that was reduced to a measly thirty or so by the time they had left. A sudden ping rings out, cutting through the yeast-powered daze you were in, and the dough is almost flung across the room as you hurriedly pry your fingers out and douse them in water before grasping at the phone across the room. It’s from the lieutenant, as you had hoped, and you hurry your password into your phone before the chat appears.

If you had to decide between the time you idiotically ate lunch right before a plane ride and what you had right now, this would definitely take the tier for the stupidest thing in your life. The text, if not an accusatory message, is simple—so simple that it doesn't even include a single letter.

’?’

Too busy stuck in your daydreams, you had fallen asleep without responding, essentially doing the worst thing you could ever possibly imagine—leaving the man on read. If you had to explain the way your heart had just dropped, it’d be clear from the way your jaw was permanently screwed open until you fixed this mess you accidentally created. Hurriedly, your fingers dance across the keys of your phone, the remnants of the stringy mass making mistypes our best friend until it ends up looking more like a keyboard smash than an apology sentence.

‘You alright there?’

The hair on your head would’ve been clawed out by sheer embarrassment if not for the fact that you feel obliged to at least clarify you did not mean to leave him hanging like a beggar on the street, eventually ending up sending a voice message instead to convey your mortification. “Sorry—I read your text message last night, and I forgot to respond because I was really tired, and I was up all day baking and even now I got up early— I'd love to go around the fair with you but only if you still want to go. I know this is kind of last minute now, and you’re probably super busy—” You squeak out, trying to stop yourself from grovelling even further into the ground before the app does you a favour and cuts the message instead. He sends back a text before you can send a follow-up and you can only imagine he’s probably laughing at you behind the screen; after all, how does someone just forget to reply?

“All that I needed was a simple yes, but I'll take the clarification. So, when will you be done with your parents?”

“We can still go??”

”Yes, now how about six?

”Yes, please!”

You wipe your face with your damp hands, breathing out a lengthy sigh now that you have finally averted the crisis known as your mess of a social life. Unfortunately, in the process of your panic, you had flattened all the dough on the rolling board, some sticking to your elbows now too. This was definitely not good hygiene-wise, and so you let out a long huff, and grab the flour for another batch to be made.

Soft blows of wind pass by you, protected by your woollen scarf that’s wrapped around your neck and your thick coat that is lined with the softest fur. As you help adjust the last of the display for the stall, you notice there was a few more stalls, likely not able to keep up with the demand of running it for two days, and so today they all chose to run theirs. After all your bakes had been sold out yesterday, you may have claimed the same mindset and went overboard on the bakes in hopes people had caught on to the little logo on all the soldier’s cups as they walked around. Somehow hanging out with the lieutenant was at the back of your mind right now; you were more focused on adjusting the bow at the edge of the table, right before making sure there were plenty of tissues available for your parents to grab. Not to mention enough paper bags, plates, checking the card machine actually worked, and the pot of tea was at the right temperature and waiting to be served. You’re just about to add a little more icing sugar onto the fresh croissants when a gruff cough echoes behind you. “Ghost?” You spin around, his callsign falling off your lips easily from how many times you stared at the contact in your phone in the past ten hours.

“Mhm, that's me. Ready to go?” You nod quickly, dusting off any stray sugar specks before walking over to him and waving at your parents. He looks a little different, still clad in his hooded jacket and thick gloves, but far more relaxed than yesterday. Due to the hectic nature of running a stall, you barely got a minute to look around, thus missing the chance to fully enjoy the simple happiness that came with every time it got a bit chilly. Orange leaves had long since decayed, leaving the trees bare and allowing a clear view of small specks of white in the darkened sky, now a navy blue even though it's never really that bright in winter. You’re even a little hesitant with where you step, considering the ground is already starting to grow a little icier. It’s been years, you think, since you’ve felt this giddy around wintertime, with university, jobs, and life pushing out the happy things you desperately tried to cling to. At least you always had the bakery to fall back on, and you hoped Ghost felt the same about your pastries.

“No soldiers today?” You tilt your head up at him, looking around the decorated paths to see if there’s a hint of camo between the sparkling fairy lights and wooden stands that make up this market. “No, they’re too busy packin’ up for the holidays.” He murmurs, his hands shoved into his pockets as his boots crunch against stray twigs from a nearby weaving stand, premade hearths hanging from the canopy. You blink at that, having always forgotten that the military base wasn't too far off this small town. After all, you used to wave at the soldiers eagerly when you were little, a loopy smile forever on your lips when they acknowledged you—kind of like the one you wore yesterday. “Oh? Guess you’ll be gone soon then, I guess. Where are you headed back to?” He just shakes his head this time before he eventually starts to walk towards a chestnut stand, intrigued by the man roasting them. “I’m stayin’ at base. Nowhere for me to go.”

Gruff is the only word you can use to describe his tone, and yet you watch as he pays the man for a portion of the roasted chestnuts. He doesn't hesitate to hand you the cup to hold as you grin at him and cradle the warmth in your hands until it cools to an edible temperature. Though you decide not to pry into his last words, instead choosing to indulge your earlier curiosity in which you were dying for an answer. “So… why did you even want to walk around with me?” In truth, he had not the slightest idea himself; all he knew was that he’d been a lonely bastard for too long, and he was sick of it. There you were with your lips pulled wide into a pretty smile every time he went to your shop, and he’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t clench when you realised his own soldiers had sold out your stock. He tried to convince himself that he hadn’t meant to help you out; it was only convenient, and his soldiers were hungry. Instead of dwelling on it too long, he just steals a chestnut, slipping it beneath the privacy of his mask as he crunches on the velvety taste. “Figured you’d have an eye for the good stuff. Your tea isn’t something most would find around here.” That makes you nod, remembering the interaction you had with plenty of people.

“Yeah, had a few tell me that it was nothing like the chai tea bags they get in the shops.” His head turns to you, blatant distaste written in his eyes at whoever had the audacity to ask you that question. It’s funny, you think, that someone's eyes can show you that much emotion.

“Are they bloody stupid? Of course it’s not—it’s fresh! That’s like different by a mile!” He practically scoffs out, crossing his arms firmly as he shakes his head disapprovingly, earning him a bunch of giggles from you, who can only raise a brow at him cheekily. “Oh, are you a tea connoisseur now?”

“Oi, that’s Lieutenant to you, rookie.”

That makes you laugh loudly, his mask unable to stop itself from wrinkling at the corners as he gestures to you to follow him towards a stall. “C’mere, I'm gonna get you somethin.” He points up at the plush toys hanging from a stall you had subconsciously been eyeing whilst you walked, seeing as quite a few girls were carrying them tightly in their arms too. There’s a particular one, a penguin with grey fluffy fur and small eyes but a large beak, looking at you so innocently. It’s adorable, and even if you feel a little shy accepting it from him, you’d be damned if you didn't let him at least try. But then again.. it was the largest one,’ and knowing these stalls, it probably was rigged a little to stop people from getting the really large ones.. “If you get me one, I'll show you the best spots around. A fair trade, no?”

“Deal.”

All that the stall owner can do is watch in shock, jaw dropped, as the lieutenant easily picks up the rifle and hits down all six of the cans in seconds, practically speechless. “This one.” Ghost doesn't wait a second for him, pointing up at the large penguin, and your own jaw was agape too now, having expected a small little plush to carry for the journey.

“Whoa! It’s so fluffy, you really didn't have to, but—“ The words practically spill out your mouth, fumbling with your lips as your chest brims with excitement, now hugging it close to your chest. You can definitely tell he’s smirking now, especially as he ruffles the penguin’s fluffy fur with his hand, nodding in agreement. “Soft like you.”

The pair of you traverse around countless stalls, from fresh churros to a spiced burrito to fill your stomachs. Currently you stood in front of a tea store, one that sold a selection of tea bags rather than anything freshly brewed. Seeing as Ghost really did seem to be somewhat of a big tea enjoyer, you made it your mission to get him an assortment. So whilst he was taking a call, you were haggling the steep price down to something a little more affordable. “Don't you think fifty is a bit much?” You raise a brow, your arms crossed over your chest, which contradicts your calmer tone with something more accusing. “I mean, these are all imported anyway, they’re hardly homemade.”

“Well, they’re the finest quality—“

“No, if that were true, they’d be fresh. Come on, they’ve been sitting there since yesterday now—thirty five is much more reasonable for the effort of importing and covering enough for you to make a profit.” The owner can only sigh and roll her eyes fondly, handing you the selection of tea after your little bargaining. “Alright, have at it. Only because I taught you how to haggle a price that well.”

After his phone call was over, you followed through with your promise, leading him towards a small hill a little out of the town bounds. The further you go, the darker the surroundings around you grow but he stays close behind you, watching your feet in the small chance you fall. Eventually you reach the top of the cobbled steps, revealing an old stone plaza. There’s a shack not too far off, orange light streaming out and the sound of hushed cheers as they exchange drinks. What’s more important to him is the view from here, overlooking the entire market below. Everything had seemed too crowded before, with many bustling past to queue up for some hot doughnuts and little kids dragging their parents for a chance at the hook duck game. Here, it was entirely different; the lights reflected the night sky, a sea of stars in the midst of the darkness, and the soft music seemed so much clearer now.

Finally, you both settle on the edge of the stone, your shoes in the grass, and he peels off his own gloves, noticing how your hands were buried into the penguin’s fur for warmth. You take it graciously, slipping it over your iced fingers before rummaging through your own coat pocket. “A present for my lieutenant.”

“Your lieutenant? And I thought spoiling you was my job?“

“Well, call me the colonel since it’s mine now.”

He rolls his eyes up at you, but the affection is still visible, opening the box to look at the variety inside. Each one seemed to originate from a different part of the world, and even though he thought he tried most of the flavours, there was a lot more to learn. He can't help but meet your eager face. “Fine... Thank you. But I'm getting you one last dessert for that.”

Unfortunately, just like how his life had been going so far, everything good must come to an end. His phone startles you as it buzzes loudly, his free hand fishing it out before reading the messages there. His teeth grit in frustration, not wanting to levar you so early. You’re better than that, offering him a small grin in understanding. “Military emergency?” He wants to apologize, promise you that he’ll make it up to you, and give you something even better but he can't bring himself to.

He knows he could never be that soft.

With a gruff nod, he texts back hurriedly and pulls his mask a little higher upon his face. “Yeah..duty calls. Sorry.”You shake your head, waving your hands in front of you to reassure him, even if you were already missing the warmth of his palm in yours. He pushes himself up, and you follow as he nods for you to follow. “I’ll take you back to your parents' stall.” He offers and you nod with a small smile on your lips. That was much better than being left alone while he ran off—he didn’t owe you anything, and yet he still chose to make sure you got back safely.

But before he could take his third step, your eyes are widening, hands grasping his arm and desperately pulling him back. The touch catches him in surprise yet somehow exhilarating all the same, and thus he accidentally lets his guard down just enough for you to actually manage to pull him backwards. “The ice!” You squeak out as his foot slides, making him stumble back into you slightly, your grip now squeezing him. You couldn’t possibly catch a man of his stature, no less a person of a more regular size, and yet you still reached out for him and did your best to stop him. He’d be surprised if he’d even feel anything from falling ass flat on a bit of ice, knowing the extent of his usual injuries. Still, here you were like some guardian angel, doing your best to warn him.

“Thanks..” He mumbles, glancing down at your hands still on him before you hurriedly pull back, a nervous look on your face as you sheepishly grin.

“Sorry.. didn't want you to get hurt..”

“Guess we have to be extra careful, huh? I don't want you falling either.”

His now bare fingers gently nudge against your hand, wordlessly asking to hold it. A sinner would be his title if he said he didn't adore the way your eyes widened in wonder, grasping his own hand a little tighter and nodding, cheeks flushed from him and not the cold that bites your cheeks.

He keeps his grasp on you firm as he leads you down the cobbled stairs and back towards the centre of town, the little queue outside your stall coming into view. Reluctantly you part your hands, stepping back as you glance over at the amount of sales made already, a smile curving your cheeks higher. “I’ll see you again sometime soon… Lieutenant.” You hum, a little disappointed but genuine nonetheless. Today had been entirely perfect for you, like something you’d see in the synopsis of a movie. He nods gruffly again, steps a bit forward, and tucks your scarf a little tighter around your neck. “Simon.” He breathes out, voice a little raspy from how long it’s been since he’s said it from his own tongue.

“Huh?” Your head tilts up, confused.

Giving the large penguin plush a little pat, he steps back. “My real name’s Simon.”

————————————————————————

Taglist:

@bieberismysoulmate @hidden-treasures21

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost fanfiction #call of duty fanfic #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #call of duty x y/n #cod fluff #cod fanfic #cod fic #cod x reader #cod mw ghost #ghost x reader #call of duty fic #!pinksheepfics

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4linos · 4 months ago

Text

how they ask to marry you.

stray kids maknae line x gn!reader

synopsis: how stray kids maknae line proposes to you. (˶˃⤙˂˶)

wc: 1187. (hyung line ver.)

HAN.. jisung had always been an ideal partner; you had trouble communicating at first, but you managed to work things out. he would always prioritize you and make sure you two were happy, and he would never want to sleep knowing that either were upset. he had a good relationship with your family, they accepted him right away and treated him like their own. so, when he got the perfect engagement ring for the proposal, he went straight to your parents to ask for your hand in marriage. he asked if he could do something a little more private with just the two of you, and they instantly agreed.he would set up a little picnic with lots of flowers, a plate of treats, and of course, the ring—which he would keep hidden from you—and everything would be perfect. he would bring the ring out and pop the question as soon as you finished reading the letter he wrote to you, saying, "you make me feel like I can be myself, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Will you marry me?” he had been rather anxious, but in his own way, you said "yes" right away.

felix.. was a friend since childhood who held feelings for you. he had been waiting for you to come around while watching you date other people. one night, he came to you very drunk and confessed to you that he was deeply in love with you. you two spoke after his hangover, started dating and have been inseparable ever since.

felix starts off by jokingly mentioning that he is organizing something big for a mutual friend. he’d give hidden clues like, "I've been helping in organizing a truly memorable occasion for someone I care about.“ he might act really enthusiastic about it, grabbing your attention, but you would still assume it was for your friend. felix would pretend that everything is perfectly arranged for your mutual friend, making sure you are aware of every aspect of the "proposal" day. he would even ask you to help in setting up the "proposal"'s intended venue, which would be at the park. felix would go above and beyond to ensure that the everything is beautiful. felix would take you and your friend to the location where everything is happening on the day. you would be certain that the proposal would take place here after noticing details like candles, flowers, and a beautifully decorated space. Your friend may even be carrying a ring box or getting ready to say something sincere but acting a little uneasy. You would now be certain that this is for your friend because everything appears to be perfect for them. while your friend is getting ready, felix would make sure they are the center of attention. he’d nod subtly to let them to begin. all of a sudden... felix would interrupt just as your friend was about to say something. “Hold on, wait, wait! before you continue…”, and felix takes a step forward as everyone turns to watch him. he holds your hand and says, "I couldn't wait any longer," while grinning broadly at you. It is my turn to ask you this.” suddenly the candles, flowers, and romantic ambiance all made sense at once. getting down on one knee, he asks, "Will you marry me?" while pulling out the ring. you would be totally clueless. the entire time, you were oblivious that this was for you. Then, with a quiet laugh, felix would clarify, “I had to trick you into believing it was for someone else! I wanted to make sure I got the best reaction from you because you're constantly so concerned about other people's happiness” your friends would begin applauding and cheering while you were still recovering from the shock, and felix would make sure you were overcome with affection. you would experience a range of feelings, including surprise, happiness, and perhaps even a small amount of distress at not seeing it coming. but as you both enjoy the moment together, surrounded by love and friends, felix’s kind, sincere side would come through.

seungmin.. when you two started dating, it took him a while to even tell his own members. This wasn't just because he had been possessive of you; it was also because he was afraid that your relationship might be exposed to the public by accident. It took him a while to even get through to you because, even though you didn't mind his job, you expressed to him just how much you loved your job as a journalist, and he knew that you would be fired right away if anything leaked. so when the time came to finally propose to you he’d done it in a very secret way, without the knowledge of anybody else. seungmin would invite you to a quiet evening at home nothing too flashy, just a warm, cozy environment where you both can relax together, you’d walk in to see how romantic it looked, with white petals everywhere and small candles that lit up the dark space. during a quiet moment he would give you a letter that would eventually disclose his genuine intentions. It would begin with a straightforward statement like "I love you for a thousand reasons, but this is the most important one." after that, he might pen a really intimate piece on your relationship, including significant events from your past. he would finish the letter by "I would like to build our future together, share stories and create memories with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?” after you finished reading the letter, seungmin would ask you to marry him and present you with the ring. he would add, "I can't wait to begin the next chapter with you, forever," as he planted a kiss on your lips.

I.N.. after hyunjin accidentally told you about jeongin’s huge crush on you, you were the first to make a move on him. despite being upset with hyunjin for a bit, jeongin was more than happy that you two were finally able to become the couple he had been dreaming about. they weren't shocked at all when he announced to the group that he was going to pop the question. they started helping him immediately. he followed chan’s advice and wrote a brand-new song. he was able to write a song that communicated his love for you with the help of the other members. as it builds to the last question, the song "our story" would recount the history of your relationship, emphasizing important times you've had together, both the small and the major turning points. he would express his love and want to stay with you forever in an honest and true manner using straightforward language. something created from the heart, a melody that echoes the promise of eternity, this song would seem like a personal gift. It would be performed by him after dinner, with a soft instrumental accompaniment, setting the perfect scene for a private proposal.

—

nini’s notes 110624

it’s a tough day but stay strong! 💪 it’s not over, never give up.

* here’s maknae line proposals because posting on here gives me a little at least a little stress relief 😀. not proofread ‼️ so if you find a mistake i’m sorry lol*

asks are always open if you have a question, request, or concern!

- 🎀

#stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids maknae line #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #skz x y/n #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x gn reader #skz soft hours #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz scenarios #stray kids fic #stray kids x gender neutral reader #skz x you #skz fanfic

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if-whats-new · 4 months ago

Text

What's New In IF? Halloween edition! Issue 26 (2024)

By Brij, Dion, Bex and Jen

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

Boo! Did you get scared?

Well we hope we didn’t scare you away! Our favourite time of the year is here and with it a Halloween themed Issue! Next to the regular WNIF stuff we included a recommendation section full of the best games to play in this time of the year, so be sure to check it out!

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form!

Still looking for members!

Due to the severe changes in the Zine team, we are once again looking for free hands with a couple of hours to kill, and minds, looking to make a little difference in the community!

If you too would like to help us out in a more official capacity, please shoot us a message! You can check out the available positions here, but if you’d like to help in any other way, feel free to contact us as well!

No Small Talk for some time!

We hope you have a terror-ific time reading this issue!

BRIJ, DION, BEX AND JEN

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : ECTOCOMP 2024 ~

La Petite Mort or Le Grand Guignol? Either way, it’s going to get spooky!

Ever since October 2007 spooky-game enthusiasts all over the world have a chance to participate in ECTOCOMP, an annual competition for interactive fiction celebrating the SPOOKY MONTH OF HALLOWEENTOBER. Whether you celebrate Halloween, Day of the Dead, All Saint's Eve, or just love ghost stories and creeping people out, this is your time to shine!

Previously organized by Jason Guest for ADRIFT games, the jam is now open to all development platforms. Since the beginning of this initiative, there has been a motivation to unite and strengthen ties between international communities in the IF world. Creators can submit games either in one of the four main languages - English, Spanish, French and German or any other!

This year marks the 40th anniversary of Ghostbusters. Named after the Ghostbusters’ car license plate number ECTO 1, this year the jam pays tribute to the film that inspired the title! Some other subthemes and inspiration prompts are: Spooky adventure, Sweet supernatural, Halloween fest, Día de Los Muertos, All Saints', All Souls' Eve and any other festivity or mythology around the world.

As per tradition, Ectocomp has two categories:

La Petite Mort, for those who want to speed-write their game in 4 hours or less.

Le Grand Guignol, for games that, for whatever reason, took longer than 4 hours to write.

When the jam is over, all of the submitted games will be uploaded to the IF Archive.

~ ENDED ~

The voting for IFComp ended and the winners have been announced! Congratulations to the first-place winner, The Bat by Chandler Groover! Check out the complete results for this year's competition.

Another edition of the Bad Art Visual Novel Jam is upon us! Check out the two entries!

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

Entries have been submitted for the 6th Spooktober Annual Visual Novel Jam! You can vote for your favourites until October 27th! Every October Friday you can also watch Chizu's sponsored Spooktober Stream where she plays through all submissions!

Find inspiration in dusty old decrepit corners, revivify the forgotten - the Revival Jam 2024 is here! You can now vote for your favourite entries!

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Strip IF to it’s bare bones and all it become beautiful text. That’s what The Bare-Bones Jam is about.

It’s spooky month and with it comes the annual ECTOCOMP 2024. If it’s spooky or supernatural why not submit it?

Running until Halloween, the Phantasia Jam is a three months game jam to create a fantasy narrative game, with the theme of “Hidden Magic”. It accepts both VN and IF.

On the CoG Forum, Halloween is already there! Until Oct 31st, you can submit your projects to the Halloween Jam - but don't forget the theme! VAMPIRE, Murder, 70’s Disco!

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted until March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

Bare your teeth and sharpen your claws because the Monstrous Desires 2024 Visual Novel Jam is here! Dedicated to the love of entities, horrors, and monstrosities, this jam will be full of romantic Visual Novels (VN) that heavily focus on a monster may it be original or from classics, folklore, modern media, etc.

~ OTHER ~

Jams are a great way to find new games! Don’t be afraid to check out submissions from previous years as well. There might be some gems hiding between them!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

Heavens’ Revolution: A Lion Among the Cypress (CScript) is a flintlock space fantasy inspired by eighteenth-century Iran.

Love and Death in the Shadow of the Demiurge (Twine) is an interactive tale of self-love and self-hate, beauty and the lack of it. @infimace-blog

As the Eye Can See (Twine) is a short story about the day before Halloween. @skyshard13

Larut (Ren’Py) is a fictional work retelling of the Indonesian folklore and mythological figure, Nyi Roro Kidul.

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

You're only 20 when suddenly your life goes bam! Throwing you into a whole new city, a different country even. Can you find your place in the world and restart or lose yourself in temptation? Time to find out in Paved in Ashes (CScript)! @pavedinashes-if

Spotlight (CScript), navigate the red carpet, bloodthirsty paparazzi, cut-throat tabloids and complicated relationship dynamics with A-list celebrities (who may or may not be completely unhinged.)

Exit Through The Gift Shop (CScript) is about the arc of your life, from beginning to end, as experienced through the lens of trips to the museum, with each chapter moving forward one decade.

Blood of the Living (CScript), the first public demo for Blood of the Living, sequel to Fields of Asphodel is here! @chrysanthemumgames

Bridge Ices Before Road (CScript) Finding your place again in your old hometown might sound tough, but nothing is tougher than being an Olympic athlete. You have to juggle training along with all that, but you try not to let it get you down. After all, skating is your passion! @bridgeicesbeforeroadif

Fortuna Favours the Bold (CScript) is a low fantasy, high stakes, romance forward tale about self-discovery and hidden secrets. @fortunafavours

Being the only homicide detective around for miles, it’s up to you now to find out what exactly happened to your brother, why it happened, and who did it in A Bouquet of Chrysantemums (Twine). @abouquetofchrysanthemums

it's been a long, long time (CScript), a group of three find themselves reunited through their shared past, grappling with the haunting memories of a tragedy that shattered their bond. @haynahkho

In Spices of the Heart (CScript) you step into the shoes of an ambitious chef who has landed a job at a prestigious restaurant known for its innovation and artistry. @when-life-gives-you-lemons-if

Love to be Forgotten (RPG Maker MV) is a visual novel inspired by historical figures like Lucrezia Borgia and eerie vampire folklore, such as the tale of Jure Grando.

~ UPDATES ~

Keyframes (Ren’Py) released a patch update. @blankhouse

Shepherds of Haven (CScript) alpha preview has been updated. @shepherds-of-haven

One Knight Stand (CScript) released Chapter 2 Part 3. @oneknightstand-if

Weeping Gods (CScript) added new content to Chapter 2. @jcollinswrites

The In-Between (CScript) released Chapter 10. @dalekowrites

Space Captain (CScript) released updated their demo.

Hunter's Requiem (CScript) added new content to their demo. @huntersrequiem-if

The Inn Between (Ren’Py) released an extended demo. @catslilypad

When Stars Collide (Ren’Py) released Episode 1. @steamberrystudio

Made Marion released Will’s route. @velvet-cupcake-games

Wasteland Pony Express updated their Patreon demo. @katieaki

~ OTHER ~

The Halloween Sale 2024 on Itch.io is here!

Are you a Girls! Girls! Girls!? fan? You can now pre-order an artbook!

The Retro Adventurers podcast released Episode 9, where they have a conversation with Robin Raymond about the project Kingdom of the Seven Stones, a sprawling text/graphic adventure.

Studio Mansoon Games is hiring! Are you a Programmer or a Game artist? This is your chance! @allieebobo

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Viatica by @fir-fireweed (Twine)

Wonderful prose, interesting worldbuilding, lovable characters! Chapter 10 was recently updated and it tore my heart out 10/10.

//submitted by Silly//

Do you have SALT? by BRXKEVN (Steam)

I wanted to tell you about the salt.

//submitted by Oreolek//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

H/T = Horror/Thriller H = Halloween themes S = Supernatural C = Creepy

~ RECOMMENDATIONS (COMPLETE) ~

It gets so lonely here (H/T) by ebi-hime (Ren’Py)

Yuri yandere visual novel, what else needs to be said? //submitted by Remm//

Deepest Grievances (H/T) by 17 confused villains (Ren’Py)

Equal parts murder mystery, eldritch horror, and office satire. This is a great adventure-style VN with a puzzle that made me gasp when I figured out the solution. //submitted by Natasha//

Hanna, We're Going to School (S) by Kastel (Twine)

You and your ghost friend go to school and everything goes sideways. My favorite piece on queerness and rage. //submitted by Emerson//

Last seen online (H/T + S) by qwook/sochinstudio (Three.js)

It is a very great and short game. It includes puzzles that are both satisfying and sad to solve. //submitted by anon//

Escape from Hell (S) by Nils Fagerburg (???)

Switch between monsters and use their abilities to help you escape! Elegant design with fun puzzles. //submitted by Sera//

Neighbourhood Necromancer (H/T) by Gavin Inglis (CScript)

Command the undead to take revenge on the suburbs! Perhaps you’ll start by taking over a convenience store.

Yûrei Station (H/T) by Atelier Sentô (Unity)

A girl takes a night train heading to an unknown destination…

Everyday Horrors (H) by Jacob Aberdevine (Bitsy)

A short Halloween game about fear and uncertainty.

Ghosterington Night (H/T) by Wade Clarke (Inform 7)

Danger-filled Ghosterington Manor appears atop the same cliff each year on Samhain night. It’s hidding four poems that are worth a fortune, and you, famous adventurer Jubilee Grief, are determined to find them.

Forever and Ever (H/T + H) by @PetricakeGames-IF (Ink)

Halloween night comes to a close and you're just settling in to get a good night's sleep when your son Lucas lets you know there are monsters in his room.

First Bite (S) by firstbitegames (???)

One night. Three (very hot) vampires. Make a deal with Death or die trying… (Alejandro Saab is in it so you know it’s good. Also very 18+.) //recommended by Dion [team]//

Well Tended (C) by danielle taphanel (Bitsy)

A short storybook simulator about wandering through death's shade-filled garden, following the spiraling path of poisonous plants to the center.

Witches x Warlocks (H + S) by Nifty Visuals (Unreal Engine)

Seven days until Halloween! Seven days until Fay Nightshade gets booted out of school for being the only witch unable to cast a single spell.

Eat me (C) by Chandler Grooverr (Inform 7)

In this castle, you'll eat or be eaten. May contain dairy, carnage, puzzles, nuts.

~ RECOMMENDATIONS (WIP) ~

We Wretched Creatures (H/T) by @darkfictionjude (Twine)

Who can you trust? What’s the truth behind your family? What are things that you see in the dark?

Sentience (H/T + S) by @sentience-if (Twine)

After a near-death experience at the hands of a crazed angel, you're suddenly thrust into a conspiracy surrounding a corpse-worshiping cult, divinely mad saints, and something buried far, far beneath the earth.

Fervency (H/T) by @fervency-if (CScript)

After getting cured from a vicious plague, you begin to feel some strange and unfamiliar cravings - namely a fervent desire for flesh or blood.

The Story of Sin (H/T + S) by @devilishmango (Twine)

You are the spawn of Satan and The Devil. You decide to defy them once again, and just like always… they aren’t exactly too happy about that. This leads them to decide to punish you one last time- only, this time, the punishment is deadly.

Reanimated Heart (H/T + S) by @doubledeadstudio (???)

Figure out how to build a life from scratch in a strange dimension where the sun never rises and supernatural creatures live freely.

Van Helsing (S) by @vanhelsing-if (Twine)

You are the last of a family of elite slayers. When you get tasked with slaying an ancient Entity in four months, will you remain the indomitable Van Helsing of legends or will this finally be your breaking point?

SLAUGHTER☆SQUAD (H/T) by @harlequinoccult (Twine)

For the most part, you’re a pretty normal mid-20-something year old who lives in a shitty apartment in the city. Well, except for one thing. Your ”Associate” Carter “Dollface” Abernathy. Who is a murderer.

Did we miss your favourite game? Don’t worry, there’s still a chance! Fill out this form and we will include it in our next Halloween issue.

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank: Silly, Oreolek, Remm, Natasha, Emerson, Sera and the awesome anon!

For sending us their game recommendations and highlights!

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We now have a Linktree! Accessing all of our links has never been easier.

And see you again next week, even more spooky!

BRIJ, DION, BEX, JEN

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 26

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paigebueckersloverr · 8 months ago

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Paige Bueckers HEADCANONS:

Anniversary Ver.

Hello, so I know I've been pretty MIA, and I'm sorry. But life isn't gonna stop for anyone, especially not me. But im back, so that's what matters. im gonna go ahead and answer a few questions.

Yes. Three's A Crowd. Is returning for the final installment. Aka the smut, so many people have mesaged me for.

No. I don't write for Emily, I thought about it, and then she signed with an Israeli team. So that's a firm NO.

Yes. This is very corny, and I projected just a little. With a sprinkle of all over the place but with the drama arising in the paige Hashtags. I thought we could use a cleanse and something light-hearted.

1. Surprise Anniversary Trip ♡

Paige would spend weeks planning a surprise weekend getaway to a cozy cabin in the mountains. She would make sure to secretly pack your favorite clothes, snacks, and a few sentimental items. As you guys drove along the scenic route, Paige would keep the destination a secret, enjoying the look of curiosity and excitement on your face. When you guys finally arrived, the cabin was perfect—nestled among tall trees with a breathtaking view of the valley below. Paige would arrange for a private chef to prepare a romantic dinner for you on the first night, complete with candles, soft music, and a crackling fireplace.

2. Custom Jewelry ♡

On the morning of your anniversary, Paige would present you with a small, beautifully wrapped box. Inside would be a delicate silver bracelet with your anniversary date engraved on the inside. The bracelet would also feature a small charm shaped like a basketball, symbolizing the sport that she loves and a small lockette as a symbol of you guys being together forever. Paige would spend hours choosing the design, wanting it to be something you could wear every day, close to your heart.

3. Personalized Love Letters ♡

Paige handed you a beautifully wrapped box tied with a satin ribbon. Inside were twelve letters, one for each month you guys had been together. Each envelope was decorated with little doodles and stickers, and the letters themselves were filled with Paige’s heartfelt thoughts and memories. She recounted you guy's first date, the moment she realized she was in love, and all the little moments that made their relationship special. Reading through the letters showed a beautiful testament to you guys' love and admiration for each other.

4. Home-Cooked Dinner ♡

Despite her busy schedule, Paige took a day off to prepare a gourmet dinner for your anniversary. She spent the entire day shopping for ingredients, following recipes, and setting up the dining area. She decorated the table with candles, flowers, and their best dinnerware. When you finally arrived, you were greeted with the mouth-watering aroma of your favorite dishes. Paige served a three-course meal, finishing with a simple but delicious dessert she had made from scratch. You both spent the evening talking, laughing, and reminiscing about your years together and the ones to come.

5. Memory Scrapbook ♡

Paige created a scrapbook filled with photos, mementos, and little notes from you guys first year together. She included ticket stubs from concerts and movies, pressed flowers from dates, and candid snapshots of spontaneous moments. Each page was carefully crafted, with handwritten notes detailing the memories behind each item. The scrapbook was a journey through your relationship, and a tangible reminder of all the love and joy the both of you shared.

6. Midnight Stargazing ♡

After the romantic dinner, Paige drove you both to a quiet spot away from the city lights. She set up a cozy spot in the back of her car with blankets and pillows, creating a little nest where they could lie down and stargaze. Both of you spent hours under the stars, sharing your dreams and hopes for the future. Paige pointed out constellations and told stories about them,*with you constantly reminding her she googled them* making you feel special and cherished. The night was filled with soft whispers and gentle kisses, a perfect end to your anniversary.

7. Special Song ♡

Paige had secretly learned to play a special song on the guitar, one that held significance for your relationship. After dinner, she brought out the guitar and, with a shy smile, began to play. You recognized the song immediately, your eyes filling with tears as Paige’s beautiful but nervous voice filled the room. It is a beautiful, intimate moment showcasing Paige’s love and effort to make the night memorable.

8. Custom Illustration ♡

Knowing your artistic side, Paige commissioned a custom illustration of both of you together. The artwork depicted a scene from your favorite date—sitting together on a park bench, holding hands and watching the sunset. The artist had captured everything perfectly, and the colors were vibrant and full of life. Paige had the illustration framed and presented it as a gift, a beautiful token of the relationship that would hang in your apartment.

9. Midnight Dance ♡

After dinner, Paige took you to a secluded garden or a rooftop overlooking the city. She had brought a portable speaker and played your "couples" song on her phone. Under the moonlight, you guys danced together, lost in each other’s arms. The world seemed to fade away as you both swayed to the music, your love palpable in every touch and glance. It was a perfect, magical moment, one that Paige and you would both remember for years to come.

If you made it this far, thank you! If you have any critiques or requests. My inbox and ask are very open, so feel free. 🤍

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x black!reader #paige bueckers x reader #paigebueckersloverr #paige bueckers head cannons #paige x reader #gxg fluff #gxg imagine #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #salemswriting

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wangxianficfinder · 21 days ago

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Fic Finder

Feb 10th

~*~

1. Hello! o/ I'm looking for a fic I saw last year on ao3 but couldn't read it, then when I looked to read it I couldn't find it.

I think the description said that: Wei WuXian and Jiang YanLi decide to run away together with Jin Ling, and after 13 years since they left the cultivation world, Lan JingYi finds them by chance.

I can't remember if the tag(s) or description says A-Yuan is with them or if the Wen Remnants survived and ran with them. But I'm sure the action takes place after Jin ZiXuan dies and Wen Qing is probably dead and Wen QiongLin is captured and imprisoned by the Jin Sect (Not so sure about the last part with Wen Qing and Wen QiongLin).

I also think the Wei Ying | Wei WuXian/Lan Zhan | Lan WangJi tag was also at relationships (I think, not sure).

I hope that helps, I really tried to remember more details but unfortunately that's all I can remember, I hope maybe someone finds this fic, and even if not, thanks a lot for trying and have a nice day or evening! <3

FOUND? it's a long road but we're not alone by Stratisphyre (M, 62k, WangXian, JYL & WWX, LWJ & LJY, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, Canon Divergence, Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, Parenthood, Grief/Mourning, Family Feels, Reunions, Golden Core Reveal, Getting Together)

1 might be a @shanastoryteller tumblr fic too.

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2. Hello! :) I’m looking for a modern AU where Wen Qing tells WWX (platonically) that she loves him, and he is surprised and starts crying, I think. She’s confused that he didn’t know. She may have been warning him to be careful about starting a relationship w LWJ or telling him that she approves if that’s what he wants. Thank you!! 💕 @sadgargoylesss

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3. Please help! I know this fic, but when I search the tags I expect it to be under its not there! Canon divergent au where the wen remnants survive by leaving the burial mounds in small groups and finding jobs elsewhere. Teacher Wei Wuxian who ends up founding a schooling in filing after initially starting off by looking after the little kids while their parents and grandparents work. Identity shenanigans, bc no one realises it's wwx who is running the school, including jwy who yells at him when the school gets in trouble for not paying taxes. I'm pretty sure the opening line to the summary was something like "like a stream flowing downhill the wens left the burial mounds" something like that. It's a long fic. At one point lwj arrives at BM to find no one there and thinks they've all died. This happens again when the Jin go to kill them.

Thanks for your help! 🩷 @theladypeartree

FOUND! Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, WangXian, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, Mojo's bookmark)

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4. Hello! I love this page!!!

I’m looking for a twitter threadfic!

It’s about LWJ transmigrating from being an omega concubine to the YLLZ (and dying in childbirth) to becoming a newly-destitute socialite(?) and using all his omega concubine seduction skills to woo himself into being (?CEO) WWX’s sugar baby.

Meanwhile the socialite (or company worker(?) LWJ switches into the concubine position.

I remember LXC losing his mind a bit, LWJ scratching strategies off a list.

The thread so funny and amazing and I can’t find it! Please help.

Thank you!

FOUND? #4 is a thread fic by enigmatree on Twitter but apparently they have currently locked their account so I can't share the link. But if you're following her, the first tweet of the thread starts with "Tumblr post: tragedy happens because the wrong people are in the wrong story."

~*~

5. Hi, I'm looking for a fic on AO3 where WWX was staying at a beach house for the summer with WQ and NHS and his siblings and LWJ was at another beach house with MM and Qin Su. And they get together over the course of three summers as WWX has a gay awakening and goes on a date with LWJ to the aquarium and they write letters to each other outside of the summers. I think it was called "summer of peaches" but I can't find it anymore. @briarrose45

FOUND? 5 sounds like Year of peaches by fruitys but they deleted all their fics.

~*~

6. hi, i'd like to ask about a fic that should also have attached fanart (which is what i am looking for)? i thought it was caged by moonflowers, but i cannot find the art i'm thinking of, which is of lwj in a chastity device...the fic itself is a setting where lans wear chastity devices until marriage or something, from what i vaguely recall...? thank you.

FOUND? Is that something in your trousers, or are you... oh, it is by sparkly_butthole (E, 4k, WangXian, Weird Lan sect rules, Shenanigans at the cold springs, Chastity Device, Orgasm Denial, Wwx just wants lwj to feel good, Early in Canon, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation) with the artwork linked to the fic

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7. Hi 👋 👋 👋 please help me those ff 😊 . Thanks you ☺️ A: wei Wuxian learn music and talisman from lan Sect 's teacher .B: jin zixaun and Jiang Yanli not get married C: nie huaisang and Female get married. (wangxian ff) this female give wei Wuxian love letter. @richie-234

FOUND? 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 925k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

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8. Hi okay so this is a NSFW ask and probably has been deleted. But basically lxc and lwj both feel like jc and wwx should get back closer and come to the conclusion that they should fuck them together and jc is like huh even though wwx is stronger and better than me. He is submissive and they hold hands and come to climax together.

I remember it has 2 chapters and the book was just about them. Some characters might have been mentioned but I don't remember reading about anyone other than the two.

FOUND? Pillow Talk by kathie_raddare (E, 13k, WangXian, LXC/JC, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Top LXC, Bottom JC, Foursome - M/M/M/M, No Incest, Blindfolds, Post-Canon, No actual action between the pairs, Lan Brothers have a horny plan, Forcing WWX and JC to talk while being fucked, Oblivious WWX, Tsundere JC, Lan Brothers being monsters in bed, PWP, Brothers to enemies to friends, Size Kink, Biting, Hair-pulling, Spanking, Voyeurism, Cock Worship, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Bottom Alliance, Holding Hands, But not in the way you're thinking, Boywife WWX, Lan Brothers competing, Who breaks their bottom first?)

~*~

9. hi, i'm looking for a fic that may be deleted, if you or anyone might remember the title/work: it's a rape fic formatted as a 5+1 fic, where it's 5 times wwx was raped when he was unconscious/asleep and one time he was awake for it? the 5 times include with jiang fengmian & jin guangshan; sect leaders(?) incl lan qiren, nie mingjue; and then gusu lan? i'm hoping it's not deleted but i can't find it anywhere in my bookmarks anymore :(

FOUND? i hear the wicked get no rest by Anonymous (E, 3k, WangXian, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Drugged Sex, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Gang Rape, Eventual Happy Ending, A Revived Dove As It Were)

~*~

10. Hi, So I read this fic a while back on Ao3 I'm pretty sure it involved some form of omegaverse. The main points I remember were that bondings in the cultivation world were typically unequal with only the omega having a mark not the alpha. LWJ and WWX become bonded and have an equal bonding which is the norm for the Lan's (but I think the other sects don't known that the this what is normal for Lan's) I remember there was a lot of jealousy about the fact JYL did not have an equal bond with JZX @lysslov

FOUND? Alliance AU by Ilona22 (E, 22k, WangXian, JYL/OC, Arranged Marriage, A/B/O, PWP, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Intersex Omegas, Not JC Friendly, Matchmaking, canon Jiang family dynamics, Family time, Some are not happy about it, Night Hunts, Mention of male omega pregnancy, Intrigue at Jinlintai, Mentions of Prostitution, War, Conflict between characters)

~*~

11. Hello! I’m having so much trouble finding this one fic, I haven’t read it in a while and none of my searches are coming up with anything OTL. I remember it was a canon divergent fic where i think jc and lwj try to save wwx from being thrown into the burial mounds, and jc loses an arm in the process. I can’t remember anything else about the fic, and it’s been a while so I’m hoping it wasn’t deleted or something!!

Thanks in advance! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

FOUND! Yearning for Miles by lovely_hina (M, 379k, WangXian, XuanLi, JFM/YZY, XiCheng, LQR/Sisi, JueQing, SangYao, XueNing, Time Travel, but not really, they see the future in a thingamabob, Slow Burn, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Fluff, Canon-Typical Homophobia, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Development Galore, PLEASE ADHERE TO IN-CHAPTER TW, Canon Divergence, wwx still loses his core) think this is it but in this it's only jwy who loses his arm after trying to save WWX, lwj isn't there

~*~

12. I seem to have forgotten the name of this fic. In it, Wei Wuxian dies before the indoctrination and Jiang Yanli while imprisoned later (the Wens basically win) gives LWJ his notebook that contained a time travel talisman. LWJ then tries several times to keep WW alive and has to reset multiple times. They do get married eventually.

FOUND? 🔒 Time Reversal by AitchNKay (M, 63k, WangXian, Major Character Death, Time Travel, WWX dies a lot, everyone dies, Time Travel Fix-It, Fluff and Romance, Drama & Romance, Fluff, Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

~*~

13. Hey how are you ?

I'm looking for two wangxian fics

A) First: a modern fic where wei ying was dumbed by Jin zixun and was heartbroken. Lan zhan his best friend,who has a crush on him, consoled him and after that their relationship progressed. I think it was one or two chapters

B) Second: a modern fic in which wangxian are best friends but lan zhan tells wei ying one day that he is dating someone ( mo xuanyu) after that wei ying gets jealous and starts avoiding everyone. I only remember that's not a long story.

I hope u can help me thanks @smarti1997

13A)

FOUND? Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 21k, WangXian, Former JZn/WWX, Modern, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, Family, Realizing Your Best Friend is the Love of Your Life, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, And LWJ is not having it, Sex as Self Worth Reaffirmation, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cute, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good)

13B)

FOUND? A storm without a warning by Spodumene (E, 22k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern AU, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Masturbation, Eventual Smut, Pining, Denial, Drunkenness, Jealousy, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending)

FOUND? Say More by lettered (E, 95k, WangXian, LWJ/MXY, Modern, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, non-graphic drug use, non-graphic withdrawal, Drug Addiction, one suicidal thought, negative thought, WWX struggles with Mandarin and feeling connected to Chinese culture, this is not a large plot point but bears mention, Compulsory Heterosexuality, WWX kisses a girl, Sexuality Crisis, Gay Panic, some gender confusion and questions without serious gender questioning, incorrect definition of omnisexuality, Open Relationships, Masochistic Fantasies, non-graphic sadomascochistic realities, humiliation fantasies, Submission Fantasies, some D/s realities, one condomless blowjob, suggestions of some unhealthy co-dependence, Possessive Behavior, Slight Consensual Non-Consent, Frottage, the open relationship is not wangxian)

~*~

14. Hi can u help me find a fic :(( in wwx's first life he keeps on sating ily to lwj but lwj keeps on rejecting him and then before wwx's death, he qas the one to say get lost to lwj. Fast forward lwj regrets it and when wwx reincarnated, he uses every chance to say ily to wei ying but wei ying keeps on saying thank u. Pls helppp thank uu!

FOUND? When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending)

~*~

15. Hello! I am looking for a specific modern fic where the characters were museum workers, or perhaps art gallery workers. I remember the fic went into great detail about how art and exhibit pieces were carefully catalogued, packed, and moved between locations. I can’t remember the plot at all, just that I was so interested in this logistics element which I had never considered before. Does this ring any bells? I would love to read again, thank you! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND!🔒💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Art Conservation, Museums, Painting, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Pregnancy Mention (Side Character), Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Past Sexual Harassment (Background Character), Masturbation, Sexting, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Intercrural Sex, Blood and Injury, Major Character Injury, Head Injury, Injury Recovery, Hospitalization, Workplace Accident, OSHA Violations Probably, Hurt/Comfort, Hair Pulling, They'll Be Okay I Promise, incarceration, Past Incarceration, Forgery, Discussions of Criminal Justice Systems, Family, Cock Warming, Labor Unions, Discussion of Adoption, Adoption, Parenting, Honest Conversations About Maybe Having Kids, Flash Forward, Epilogue, LQR Being A Good Uncle)

~*~

16. Hello! I’m looking for a soulmate fic, where the soulmate can write on his skin and it appears on the skin of their soulmate. Wei wuxian loves the idea of having a soulmate and is writing a lot, lan wangji never responding. Wei wuxian then thinks maybe he doesn’t have a soulmate. thank you so much! @needlovebeloved

FOUND? Deconstruct by flowercity (FaoriE) (T, 11k, WangXian, Soulmates, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, they’re so in love)

~*~

17. Help, please. This fic is about LWJ who is a book author who wanted to use WW's illustrations for his book. WW told him he could not do scenes involving hunger and eventually that topic is brought up that makes WW upset. LWJ calms him down and tells him that it will help others that went through what he did. LWJ goes to WW;s home and meets Yuan there too

FOUND? 🔒🧡 “I will climb to where you are” or: the bunny book by ladyofrosefire, NotAFicWriter (T, 40k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Fatherhood, Family, Long-Distance Relationship, Semi-Epistolary, Grief/Mourning, Past Food Insecurity, WWX’s Outstanding Mental Health, Panic Attacks, past parent death, Fluff)

~*~

18. Hello! i'm hoping you can help me find this fic. In it, lan zhan has rejected his soul mate bond with wei ying, who gets quite sick. the moment LZ sees WY at like a cultivation conference, he changes his mind. LXC and LQR are against soulmate bonds because of Madame Lan. Please help me find it!! tysm for all you do @fingersrevenge

FOUND? ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, soulmates, chronic illness, hanahaki disease as a curse, feelings realization, angst, fluff, smut)

~*~

19. Hi. I love what you are doing. So THANK YOU. I'm looking for a fanfic on AO3. I think it's a time travel WIP. Somewhat crack. Teen WangXian eloped (?) and there were rummors about them adopting many children. The summary was about people (Lan Xichen maybe? and someone else) talking about how many children they had. I'm not really sure. Thank you. @whatevereveryday

~*~

20. Hey I'm trying to find a fic that's about post canon Lan Zhan meets you get Wei Ying and they do sleep together and Lan Zhan proves that Wei Ying and him are together and at the end Lan Zhan tells Wei Ying that younger Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying and after he disappears Wei Ying goes to find Lan Zhan and he finds him with marks on him with probably mean post canon Wei Ying got to him

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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dreamgrlarchive · 2 years ago

Note

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

#dream girl journey #my posts #dream girl cultivation #dream girl wellness

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moody-alcoholic · 7 months ago

Text

Chapter 5 - The Bait

Summary: 5.1k words. 141 decide what they're going to do about your ex, leave it to the police or get themselves involved. Either way they're going to need your help. Also Simon has feelings...

CW: Smoking, language, abusive ex, stalking, mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of a suicide (Not reader or 141), violations of privacy, physical violence, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, mental health, mentions of trauma.

Previous - masterlist - Next AO3

Enjoy <3

She hasn’t moved from the spot at the table, her fingers still running over the photos. Simon was stood by the door waiting for Price to arrive. Simon told him not to knock, he left the door open telling him to just walk in.

As soon as he does Simon locks the door behind him. Her head snaps up to look at Price then back down to the photos. Price sighs looking at the damage to the window.

“You stayed the night?” Price asks him quietly so she can’t hear.

“He came to her door.” Simon replies just as quiet, Price sighs.

“Not getting to lost in the mission are you?”

“No sir.” Simon replies, it’s a lie. Simon turns to look at Price. He knows Price can tell, Price can read him like a book. Truth is he’s in way too deep, there is something about you he can’t quite put his finger on. He want’s to be around you all the time like he can’t get enough of you. Johnny would say it’s something silly like ‘it’s love at first sight.’

It’s been years since Simon has had any kind of feelings he would relate to love. Maybe that’s what this was. There was something burning inside him a need to touch you, be near you. At least at work he could avoid you, push the thoughts away focus on the job. Being here in your flat, talking, opening up, watching you sleep. It was a good feeling, a feeling that made his heart skip. Maybe Johnny was right.

“What’s the problem?” Price asked crossing his arms looking back over at her.

“She wants to call the police.” Simon says.

“Okay then let her.” he replies.

“Then we have to back off.” Simon says through gritted teeth. Price sighs.

“Throwing bricks through windows this isn’t just a simple stalking problem anymore.” Simon says thinking back the colourful letter that came with the photos. Price hums, he’s thinking.

“Don’t think a simple talk will sort this one?” He asks eventually. Simon shakes his head. It’s been a while since they’ve had such an extreme stalker case. Most of the time a stern word and a few vague threats are enough to get most people to back off. If that doesn’t work a little bit of blackmail and a few knocks to the head usually do it. This time it’s different.

“Let her call the police, get the restraining order I’ll talk to Soap and Gaz.” Price says smiling at her as she looks at him. At least he’s trying to put her at ease. He looks round the flat one more time before going to leave.

“Actually, you should get Gaz here to check for bugs, wouldn’t be surprised if you found some.” Shit he hadn’t even thought about that. Simon pulls his phone out to text Gaz as Price leaves. He goes back over and sits at the table.

You watch as Simon types on his phone, he sits down looking up at you.

“What did Price want?” You ask.

“Checking to make sure you’re okay.” Simon says putting his phone away.

“Do you still want to call the police?” He asks, you nod reaching for your phone. Simon nods and moves to get up.

“Stay,” you say looking up at him. He must be able to see something in your eyes as he immediately sits back down.

“I’ll stay,” he says, nodding at you. You almost want to reach across and grab his hand, you swallow instead calling the non-emergency number.

It’s about another 20 minutes before two officers show up. Simon lets them in, they’re nice enough, one is a woman and that puts you at ease. You answer their questions while they collect evidence including the brick, the letter and the photos. By the time they’re done you feel drained, they talk to Simon too taking his details, witness statement.

They explain with the evidence they have they might be able to make an arrest. That makes you feel better knowing he’ll be locked up. Getting the restraining order might take some time. If he is arrested you’ll be granted an emergency one for the time being. You listen to what they’re saying and thank them when they leave. You turn back to Simon letting out a breath. The smashed window has let the cold in and you shiver.

“You should take a nap, you look exhausted.” He says, you shake your head. There is no way you would be able to sleep now. Or at least not a sleep that won’t be riddled with nightmares. There’s a soft knock at the door. Simon is already on his feet before your head even gets a chance to look. He opens it and you see Kyle, with a laptop under his arm.

“What happened?” He asks when he sees the state of the flat. You were not looking forward to cleaning all the glass up. You stand going to the bathroom where the cleaning supplies are while Simon explains the situation to Kyle. You wonder what he’s doing here. You don’t have to wonder for long as when you come out the bathroom with a dustpan and brush Simon is already waiting for you.

“Gaz is going to check the place for bugs, cameras, what not.” Simon says. You feel sick, you hadn’t ever thought about that, your hand grips the broom tighter.

“D-do you think he’ll find anything?” You ask your mouth suddenly dry. Please say no.

“I hope not,” He says his hand finding it’s way to squeeze your arm. He sounds sad about something, you look up at him. You can’t tell what he’s thinking, you like feeling his hand on you.

“I’ll start in the bathroom.” Kyle says, Simon drops his hand. You nod at him and force a smile going over to start sweeping the glass. Simon says he’ll call a someone to replace the window, apparently he knows a guy.

The cleaning is a good distraction and Simon comes over to help finding a box for you to put the glass in. You’re on the balcony when you see Kyle come out the bedroom into the living room. You sit down on one of the patio chairs as you tip the last collection of glass in the box. You look up at Simon.

“I could kill for a cigarette.” You say letting out a breath, Simon smiles and heads back inside. You watch as he goes over to his jacket pocket coming back out with a packet and a lighter. He smokes the same brand as you. He passes you one and you’re almost shaking trying to light it. You take a deep suck in letting the smoke warm your lungs you watch Simon light one too leaning up against the balcony wall.

“You don’t have to stick around.” You say eventually. Simon looks at you almost like he doesn’t understand what you’re saying.

“Do you want me to leave?” Simon asks.

“No,” you blurt out a little too quickly. You don’t want to be alone right now, not that you’ll ever admit that.

“I mean if you have work or something.” You take another puff of the cigarette.

“Right now this is my work.” He says looking back inside as Kyle’s walking around the room. You suddenly feel exposed being out on the balcony, the photo’s you saw earlier flashing back in your head. You rub the rest of your cigarette out on the wall and throw it in the box with glass. You want to get out of this flat even if it’s just for a few hours.

“I think I’m going to go into work.” You say as you head for the balcony door.

“I’ll come with you.” Simon says flicking the cigarette butt on the floor and stamping it out.

“Gaz stay here, there’s a guy coming to fix the window in about an hour.” You hear Simon say as you go into the bedroom closing the door. You sit down on the end of your bed putting your head in your hands. You don’t want to go to work, you want to just curl up in bed and do nothing. But you need to get out this flat, even if it is just for a few hours.

If nothing work will be a good distraction. You let yourself take a second to processes what’s happened. The brick through the window, the searching for hidden cameras. Spending the night with Simon in your flat. Your emotions are all over the place. You’re starting to feel overwhelmed. You stand up pushing the feelings away. You’ll deal with them later.

——————————

When you get to work Simon leads you straight up to John’s office. He drags you in without knocking and you stand there sheepishly not quite knowing what’s about to happen. You hear John sigh as he puts down whatever he was working on.

“We need a plan and I want her to be involved.” Simon says. You’re taken aback by how direct he is. You try to remember what he was telling you last night about how he met them but you were so exhausted, you fell asleep after a few anecdotes. John looks over at you then back to Simon. He stands up, you feel like you can see something in his eyes. Annoyance? But not at you at Simon.

“Come on.” He says as he walks past Simon out the office. Johnny is making his way up the stairs as you all pile out. John tells him to turn around and you’re being lead to the storeroom. You grip Simon’s shirt and he turns to look at you.

“It’s okay,” Simon says and before you know it you’re in the room. It doesn’t look as scary as you remember. There’s a smell you can’t quite place, a smell of metal and rubber. Everyone walks over to the table in the middle as John brings a laptop over from one of the counters.

“What’s the plan then?” John asks as he stands back folding his arms. Johnny catches your eye and smiles at you, that puts you at ease.

“Let’s lure him out, grab him before the police do.” Simon says.

“So the police are involved?” Johnny asks. Simon explains what happened this morning as well as the police saying they think they will have enough evidence to charge him.

“Why not let the police just handle it?” Johnny asks looking at John, who’s still standing over the laptop with his arms crossed.

“It’s not just a simple stalker anymore, he’s violent throwing around threats. If he get’s bail who knows what he could do.” Simon says. Johnny nods. The storeroom door opens and Kyle walks in. He looks surprised to see you in there but he comes over to the table anyway.

“Your guy was late.” He says dropping something on the table. You don’t quite know what it is it looks like a bunch of wires. Simon picks one up in his hand you can see it’s a tiny camera.

“Where?” You ask Kyle as he moves to put his laptop away.

“You don’t want to know, trust me.” He says.

“I do, I want to know please.” You ask almost begging, your mind going to the worst places they could have been. The bathroom, in the shower, looking at you on the toilet. In your bedroom, watching you sleep. The thought sent shivers up your spine. You look over at Simon he’s still inspecting the camera in his hand. It’s small, they all are.

“These two were in the bathroom, this one was in the bedroom.” Kyle says picking them up.

“That one was in the kitchen.” He says as he takes the camera from Simon’s hand.

“Do they record?” You ask swallowing the lump away. Kyle shakes his head.

“Live feed only, and you would have to be close to access them.” Kyle explains. That’s some comfort at least. Or is it? You’ve still been spied on your privacy violated. Knowing he only had to be a wall away from you to view them. You feel sick.

“Should we tell the police?” You ask to the room.

“Yeah, we’ll tell them, after we’ve had a chat with him.” Simon says, he sounds angry. John sighs, you feel like they want to talk about something but they can’t with you around. Johnny seems to pick up on that too. Walking round the table to meet you.

“C’mon lass let’s get something to eat you look like you could use it.” Johnny says, you mindlessly follow him out the room, watching Simon’s eyes dig into John like they’re mentally communicating something.

Johnny takes you back to the same sandwich shop. You’re not hungry but you get something anyway, because if you didn’t Johnny threatened to force feed you. He leads you back to work and you both sit on the sofa’s upstairs.

“You don’t do deliveries do you?” You ask Johnny, while you pick at the bread on your sandwich.

“Sometimes we do, we have to keep some kind of cover.” Johnny chuckles. “Cannie file our taxes as ‘blackmailed a stalker.’ Easier as ‘delivery to some office.’”

“Is that what you do blackmail stalkers to get them to stop?” You ask before he changes the subject.

“Sometimes, sometimes we have to be a bit more aggressive.” He says taking a bite out his sandwich.

“What kind of things do you do?” You ask. Now is the time to push him, he might give you some answers.

“Nothing you need to worry yourself with lass.” He says, you sigh. You’ve lost your chance.

“What about me?” You ask. “What would you do for my situation?” Johnny hums, he looks at you thinking for a second.

“I would let the police deal with this one, if he’s as bad as he seems. They have enough evidence to lock him up for this. Most of the time when people come to us they’ve already been down the police route. That or they’re involved in something illegal and need, discretion.” He explains.

That was more then you were expecting, maybe they were just being open with you now. They let you in the storeroom, they let you listen on how they plan things. Maybe they trust you. Or maybe they can blackmail you into silence.

“Seems like Simon’s taken a personal interest in your case though.” Johnny says. You frown at him.

“What do you mean?” You ask. Johnny is about to reply when the storeroom door slams closed. You watch as Simon makes his way up the steps to you both.

“I need to have a word with her, Price will catch you up with what you’ve missed.” Simon says gesturing for him to get out the chair. He doesn’t seem too impressed being forced to move huffing and wrapping his sandwich up. You feel nervous all of a sudden as Simon takes Johnny’s spot.

“How's the sandwich?” He asks, casual, like they weren’t just planning on grabbing your ex, whatever that means.

“I’m not really hungry.” You say offering it to him, you’ve never seen him eat now you think about it. Only sip cups of tea, like a lot of tea. He shakes his head, you wrap it up placing it on the coffee table and scooting over to him.

“We’ve got a plan. All you need to know about the plan is your role.” He says leaning forward.

“My role?” You ask, trying not to sound nervous. Simon nods.

“The best way to get a stalker out is to bait them out, like what you did with your post. If we want to get him we have to move tonight. Otherwise the police will have him and we don’t know what will happen after that. The easiest way to get him out is for you to set up a meeting with him. You’ll be the bait.” He explains.

You gulp, you would have to message him, then meet him somewhere. You don’t like the sound of that, the thought of even having to do that made you feel sick.

“You don’t have to do it, but then we’ll leave it in the police’s hands.” Simon says.

“What do you plan on doing to him?” You force out.

“Just a chat, like with most stalkers, they just need someone to spell it out for them.” Simon says. You don’t know if you believe him but you trust him.

“You won’t kill him.” You ask looking directly into Simon’s eyes. He shakes his head.

“We don’t kill people unless absolutely necessary. We’re not hitmen. If it makes you feel better the last person I killed was over a thousand miles away and I was still a soldier.” He says. You nod, that does make you feel better. You swallow your nerves looking at Simon, you trust him.

“I’ll do it.” You say reaching for your phone. Simon smiles.

——————————

You’re nervous. You trust them but you’re nervous. You’re on your second cigarette, if you have another one you might actually throw up. At least the smell will keep him away from you. You don’t know where Simon and Price are but you know Johnny is behind you round the corner of the building. He’s the closest to you, you think.

You check your phone you did say 8pm. It’s now 8:15, typical, he’s late and he’ll find some excuse where it’s some how your fault. You hear footsteps behind you. You swallow hard turning as the footsteps get closer. You can tell it’s him from the way he walks, the way he clears his throat. He’s stood a few feet in front of you. You purposely blow smoke in his face. You see a cheeky grin form on his lips, it makes you feel sick.

“Missed me?” He asks. You take in the last puff of your cigarette and move away from the railing to the middle of the path. Just like you were told to do. Keep him in the open, don’t let yourself be cornered.

“I don’t know if missed is the right word.” You say flicking the cigarette at his feet. He takes a step towards you.

“Well I missed you baby.” He says, the smile still on his lips. His arms are outstretched as he takes another step towards you, you’re frozen in place. Move! Your brain is screaming at you. Move do anything don’t just stand there! Your legs are betraying you though and before you know it his hand is on your arm. You freeze tensing your arm as he grips it, his eyes are burning into you when you feel a hand on the small of your back.

“Who the fuck are you?” Joe asks as he looks past you. His fingers digging into your arm.

“Just some guy.” It’s Johnny’s voice. It doesn’t make you relax you wish it was Simon. You want to look around for him but you don’t want give away that there are other people.

“Is this the kind of girl you are now, sleeping with random guys? Turned into a right little slut.” Your ex spits. You try to pull your arm from him, his nails dig into your skin. He let’s go taking a step back which surprises you.

You hope it’s over that he’ll just walk away now, you couldn’t remember what was supposed to happen next. You shudder, it still feels like his hand is on your arm. You watch as he looks around almost like he thinks someone is watching him. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a gun.

“What the fuck Joe!” You say shocked, he’s not pointing it at you, just holding it against his stomach. You feel Johnny straighten up taking his hand off your back. It’s a show of force, there is no way he would actually use it. You look past him for a second your eyes being drawn to movement. Please be Simon, or John, or Kyle.

“Maybe you should move on, leave me and my girl to sort things out.” Joe says, there is a shake in his voice, you can hear it.

“‘Course, clearly you love her more then me.” Johnny says taking a step aside. You want to beg him not to leave. You see a shadow behind the bushes moving silently all in black.

“How long have you know each other anyway?” Johnny asks. He’s trying to be a distraction. The shadow moves closer you try not to look so your ex won’t get suspicious.

It happens quickly. A body pounces on your ex pinning him to the ground as he shouts. The weapon flies out his hands sliding across to your feet. Johnny picks it up unloading it. You look round as Kyle and Price make their way over.

“He had a gun?” Kyle asked his eyes looking at you. You shake your head. You had no idea. The sound of zip-ties drags you back to your ex being hauled to his feet by Price and Simon. Simon’s wearing a mask, not the normal black surgical masks or balaclava you’ve seen him in.

This is different. It’s a skull, your hairs stand up on the back of your neck as he won’t meet your eye line. Johnny is by your side again as Kyle takes the weapon out his hand. Joe is still shouting profanities, you can see he has a bloody nose now.

“We'll take it from here.” John says his hand landing on your shoulder making you jump. You can’t help looking at Simon, he looks scary now, it's not the Simon you know.

“Anything you want to say to him?” John asks. You look up at him not expecting him to ask you that. You don’t know what to say. You’ve dreamt of this moment, for what you would say but your mind is blank.

You look back at your ex, he looks mad, blood running down his face his hands tied behind his back. You have nothing to say to him. You shake your head. John’s hand leaves your shoulder.

“Pathetic,” you hear your ex mutter under his breath as he spits at your feet. You don’t even register your step forward, your knee thrusting into his groin. He buckles forward groaning in pain despite Simon trying to hold him up.

“I’m pathetic!?” You shout a wave of anger washing over you.

“I’m pathetic? I’m sorry, I’m not the one who can’t get over the relationship! I’m not the person who beat the woman they’re supposed to love! I’m not the one who hides cameras! You’re pathetic!” You push his chest with all the strength you have left, feeling your eyes well. You turn away before they spill over. You will not let him see you cry. You don’t even remember what you said, adrenaline is pulsing through your body. You feel an arm wrap round your shoulder, as you suck in deep breaths.

“Quite a set of lungs on you there lass.” Johnny says as you wipe your eyes. It didn’t feel good why didn’t it feel good.

“Take her home Soap, we’ll see you later.” John says and you hear them walking away. You hear Joe’s protesting. You don’t know what comes next, you don’t care, you just never want to see him again. You stand there for a few more seconds letting the adrenaline wear off as you breathe in the cold London air, but all you can smell is the river.

“Ready to go home?” Johnny says after a few seconds. You nod and let him guide you to a car. You don’t bother asking Johnny want happens next, maybe it’s best you don’t know.

——————————

It’s still dark out when you hear the door of your flat open and close. Johnny is gone, you see Simon now. You blink a few times trying to orient yourself reaching over for your phone to check the time. It’s almost 3am. You sit up, looking over at him, he’s standing by the door, like he wants to ask you something. You push the blanket off yourself and go up to him.

“Did you do it? Will I never see him again?” You ask as you approach Simon. It’s dark in the flat but you can still make out his features, the living room curtains are still open so the outside light is shining on his face.

“You’ll never see him again.” He says, almost like he’s relived too. A weight you didn’t even know you’d been carrying melts away at his words. You fling your arms round him squeezing him tight.

“Thank you,” you whisper into his chest. He smells good, salt and gunpowder. You learned what that smell was when you were in the storeroom last. You break away realising what you’re doing. His hands rest on your shoulders and you look up at him. His eyes are shining in the light, beautiful and golden brown.

One of his hands moves to your cheek, following your jawline round to your chin. You find yourself moving closer to him, his hands are warm on your body. He leans in slightly, his arm dropping from your shoulder to your waist. You know what he wants he wants to kiss you. You don’t know if you’re ready, you don’t care, right now you want to kiss him too.

You lean in pressing your lips against his. You have to stand up on your toes to reach him properly as you push your tongue in his mouth. He lets you, moving his hand from your chin to cup your cheek. You feel your body tingle as he starts playing with your tongue his hand gripping your waist as he tries to get you to stand back down. You don’t care throwing your arms round his neck and pulling him down to you.

You moan, he tastes of ash, and something sweet. You’re not thinking, lost in a world of your own as his hands start to move round your body. You grip his neck running your fingers through his hair. One of his hands finds your waistband and his thumb slips under your shirt, the skin to skin contact makes you shudder and you pull away. His hand drops from your waist.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. You look up at him. How do you even explain it?

“That was the best kiss I’ve had in years.” You say letting one of your hands drop from his neck to rub his cheek.

“Too soon?” He asks. You shake your head. This is it, you’re never going to be able to have a normal relationship again. You can kiss him but you flinch at the slightest mount of physical contact. He probably just wanted to run his hand up your back? It doesn't matter your brain registered it as a threat before you can even react.

“I’m sorry,” you say dropping your hands from his neck.

“Want me to leave?” He asks.

“No, stay.” You say, grabbing his shirt. Great, attachment issues too.

“Want me to sleep on the sofa again?” He asks. You look up at him. You press your lips against his again this time his hands stay over your clothes. He breaks away first.

“I know what it’s like.” He says his voice barely a whisper. “I get what you’re feeling, you don’t have to explain it. Just tell me when to stop.” He kisses you again, a quick kiss. It still takes your breath away.

You take him by the wrists and lead him to the bedroom. You can do this at least, or you’re going to try. He stands as you do what you need to do. Rearranging the bedding, getting extra pillows and the spare duvet out the wardrobe. When you’re done you turn to him.

“You shouldn’t sleep on the sofa it’s bad for your back.” You say leading him over to the bed.

“Believe me I’ve slept on worse.” He says smiling, that puts you at ease. You let go of his arm to climb into bed, pulling your duvet around you leaving the other half of the bed open for him.

“Mind if I.?” He gestures to his trousers, he wants to take them off. You nod, watching as he unbuckles his belt letting them slip to the floor. It’s too dark to see anything anyway, or at least you hope so, then he won’t be able to see you blushing.

He makes sure you’re okay before moving slowly into the bed. He pulls the spare duvet over him lying on his side so you’re face to face. He reaches over slowly, his hand brushing your cheek, then your hair. His touch is gentle, soft as he tests what your limits are.

“Want me to tell you this funny story about Johnny?” He asks. You smile nodding. “I’ll let you take the piss out of him tomorrow.” As he tells the story you close your eyes. His hand comes back periodically to brush your hair. It feels nice you let yourself enjoy it as you drift off to sleep.

You’re woken the next morning by the ringing of the doorbell. You shoot up in bed.

“I can get it.” You hear Simon groan.

“No, I’ll get it.” You insist praying that Simon is right and you never need to worry about Joe again. You look through the peep-hole it’s the police officers from yesterday. You open the door.

“Morning, sorry to bother you.” The female one says.

“It’s okay,” You respond automatically.

“We thought you might want to know there has been an update to the investigation regarding your stalker.” You look at her confused.

“What happened?” You ask.

“When the officers went to arrest him this morning he was found dead in his apartment. We’re very sorry, we suspect it was a suicide.” The officer says. Your hand grips the door harder as you hear the words.

“He was your ex-boyfriend correct?” The officer asks. You nod swallowing to get the lump away in your throat.

“He had you written down as an emergency contact, we’ve been unable to locate his family, do you happen to have their contact information?” She asks.

“I-I have his mothers number, just a second.” You say using all your willpower to let go of the door. You head back into the bedroom to get your phone. Simon’s back is facing you his legs swung out of the bed. You go back to the officers telling them the number.

“If you have any questions, or anything you need to add don’t hesitate to call us.” She says smiling. You nod and thank them as they leave. You close the door behind you, slipping the deadbolt into place. Suicide. The word spins round in your head. What the hell did they do to him?

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