#just a friendly little shootout

[southern-stark]

Aggressive Negotiations

My Mando OC, Elayne, having a “civil” conversation with some rather friendly pirates.

[Artwork done by Rowan on Instagram]

[flyingcakeee]

Friendly little post of what to expect from the Chinese GP next week!

Our 1st of 6 sprint races this season:

Drivers will have 1 practice session to get acquainted to the track before the sprint shootout(quali). Next day, we start with the sprint race and then move onto the actual qualifying. Finally, race on Sunday as usual.

What does this mean?

If an accident or issue happens on track during the FP session, drivers will lose out on the only practice time they have. Drivers also must be careful not to damage their cars in practice or the sprint race lest they run the risk of not making either qualifyings. This will be extremely important for the three teams who don't possess a spare chassis.

Surface repavement!

The track surface has been repaved in order to prevent any unwanted bumps in the track from hurting these cars and provide a smoother ride.

What does this mean?

Any possibility of rain can make the track super dangerous, paired with the absolute lack of rubber on the track these cars provide. A repaved track can be your gateway into red flagged sessions over track issues or accidents if a driver pushes a bit too hard on a low rubbered area of track.

Note: the rubber that comes off the tyres are essential for grip, hence why you see faster times being posted later in sessions as more rubber is laid down and grip rises.

An interesting and for a few, new, layout!

China is a very interesting circuit with 2 long straights, two slow speed and tight first turns, and very few true high speed turns. On top, there is only 2 DRS zones placed back to back with the straights really close to each other. On top of this, 4 current drivers have not ever driven this track before (minus sim). Those drivers are Oscar Piastri, Logan Sargeant, Yuki Tsunoda, and Zhou Guanyu (not only his home race, but his home city race as he is from Shanghai!). No reserve driver besides Antonio Giovinazzi of Ferrari has driven this circuit either as Mick Schumacher just missed out due to covid.

What does this mean?

The teams that lack straight line speed may struggle significantly within the first few laps before the back essentially falls apart if they are not able to utilize the 16 turns as their aid. On the contrary, teams who may be stronger at straight line speed could see the turns really hurt them and they'd need to utilize these two straights to the best of their abilities.

However, the most important part about this track is the first and last turns. Usually you'll always see action within the first few turns of a track. At the Shanghai circuit, turns 1-3 is a very tight hairpin-esque turn which not only curls in on itself before turning to a tight turn the opposite direction, it will maybe be the first place we see any action or even none at all. However, our last 3 turns may also be of interest as well. Turn 14-15 is a combined turn like the first 3, however not as tight. This means that this is essentially the hairpin on the track and if a driver makes a move further down the long straight, their approach and exit out of this turn will cement their position, at least for the time being. Turn 16 is a somewhat sharp turn that will see any finishing or comeback moves for the hairpin, especially since the DRS detection point is right before the turn. At the end of this tiny straight, as well, is the pit entry where we could see drama arise with any miscommunication if there is any (it is the more extended out version of the Belgian/Spa pit entry).

Weather forecast?

Currently, it's too early to tell with conflicting reports of either up to 70% rain for the whole weekend, 55% for Friday and Saturday, and a dry weekend.

What does this mean?

Well, we have yet to see how any car performs in wet weather with comparisons to each other, especially because if a practice session is wet but a race isn't, you're less likely to see cars leave the garage. Unfortunately for the teams, this won't be possible in China due to the fact the surface is new and for 4 teams, the track is new to the driver as well.

Speaking of new surface, any rain could make the surface extra slippery than anticipated due to the fact standing water and a track not worn in yet would make it's appearance.

Keep an eye out on the weather as we get closer!

Extra info!

There haven't been any ground effect era cars to ever race this circuit meaning no driver knows exactly what to expect from their car's performance on this track.

Alexander Albon, Lando Norris, and George Russell have only driven on this track once meaning that McLaren and Williams are the least prepared driver wise as both Albon and Norris have teammates who've never driven the circuit before.

China has a lot of grandstands which they don't use for people and instead advertisement because they didn't have enough people attending. Look out for some interesting advertisement placement!

Zhou Guanyu will be the first Chinese driver to take on a Chinese circuit in F1! And not only was Zhou Guanyu born in China, he was born in Shanghai which is the very city this track is held in. This means him and Charles Leclerc are the only drivers to be able to race in the city they were born in. (Edit: Completely forgot that, yes, Oscar Piastri and Lance Stroll both have a home city race)

There is a lot of talk buzzing around in the paddocks surrounding seat changes and whatnot. There may be more news after the 2 Chinese races.

[allzelemonz]

Man’s Man: Bill Williamson X Male Reader

Pronouns: he/him, Reader is very heavily portrayed a conventional masculine man and is referred to as ‘man’ Physical Sex: AMAB heavily implied Rating: E/Smut Warnings: Incredibly gay and closeted Bill, period typical homophobia, Reader is very masculine and Bill is a simp, masturbation, pining, this is self indulgent Summary: Bill can’t get over you and he feels silly and wrong for every thought that comes into his mind, but he can’t help it.

He feels wrong. Bill knows it’s wrong, it’s very wrong. But when you pat his shoulder after a successful robbery he decides he doesn’t really want it to be wrong. He shouldn’t watch you when you walk away, but he does. He does and he enjoys every step you take. His mouth has gone dry and his heart is too fast to ignore so he goes to the fire and tries to forget what he’s imagining.

He stares into the fire, a half empty bottle of whiskey in his hand as he tries to forget all the things he likes about you. Your thick arms that have pulled him out of shootouts more times than he can count, your broad chest that he’s felt against his back when you’ve given him a friendly clap on the shoulder, your voice that rumbles in his mind as he recalls every nice thing you’ve said to him. It all feels sappy to him, like he’s some lovesick girl, so he turns his thoughts. A man doesn’t think like that, if he can’t forget you then he can at least think the way a man like you would.

So he finds a place in the trees and turns his thoughts to the handful of times he’s seen you without a shirt. The time you were changing and he happened to walk by, the time you were hurt and Charles had to look at the wound while you were all away from camp, and that hot day when you were doing chores around camp. He can feel it now. So he thinks of the time you held him back from getting in a fight at the saloon. Your arm wrapped around his waist and you pulled him back like it was nothing.

“Shit…” Bill mutters.

His hands fumble as he drops his whiskey and stuffs one very shaky hand past his waistband. He finds himself quickly and he grips tight, giving himself a squeeze. Then he remembers to spit into his hand so he can lean back and let his mind wander to you again. He doesn’t last long when the images from the job come to mind. Your mask hides your features as you force the bank manager to unlock the safe, the shotgun in your hands pressed to the man’s back.

Bill shutters, biting back a moan as he cums over his hand and stains his pants. “Shit…” He mutters again.

He wipes his hand off on the inside of his pants as he tries to get control of himself again. His legs are a little shaky so he stays put until he can stand properly again. Then he rushes to his tent and changes his pants before he returns to the fire, hesitating a bit when he sees you there talking to Javier. But he sits and you look at him with a smile.

“Hey, Williamson.” You say, making a shiver go over him. “Tell Javier he’s wrong about all that shit in Valentine.”

“What’s that?” Bill asks, trying to sound like a man who didn’t just get off to the thought of the man in front of him.

“He was sayin’,” Javier sways, drunk in his seat. “That I was the one that got us arrested.”

Bill smiles to himself. You had to come and get them from the saloon when Dutch got worried, you took his arm and pulled him out while you pushed Javier ahead. It was Javier that punched a deputy in the street and got the three of you thrown in a cell. He slept just a few inches from you and it took every ounce that remained of his drunken sense to not put his head on your chest and hope you put your arm around him.

Bill shakes his head. “It were you, dumbass.”

“Lies!” Javier laughs. “You’re both liars.”

You chuckle and it makes Bill’s heart skip. It’s such a comforting sound, he wishes he heard it more.

“Let’s get you to bed, Escuella.” You say, pulling Javier from his seat.

“No, no…” Javier mumbles.

You pull him up and get him somewhat steady on his feet. “Take care, Bill.”

Bill wants to say something but his mouth has gone dry again. He watches you pull Javier along like a ragdoll, half wishing it was him you’re taking care of.

[ejzah]

A/N: After an extremely long break, I’ve returned with this story after someone on ff.net requested an update.

***

There’s Nothing Friendly About It, Part 4

“Hm, maybe I should have picked a different book,” Kensi mused, flipping to the next page of a worn copy of “Jane Eyre”. She’d just finished narrating a heartbroken Jane leaving Mr. Rochester. “I remember it being less…depressing last time I read it,” Kensi continued to Deeks, even though she knew he wouldn’t respond.

From everything she’d read, reading was supposed to stimulate brain activity, and Kensi would do anything that might help Deeks regain consciousness. It had the added benefit of filling the silence and keeping her mind occupied. Nell had dropped off a small stack of books, including a couple Harry Potters, a terrible looking romance, and a couple of fantasy novels the other day.

“Why were crazy wives in old books always from tropics? Maybe we should switch to Harry Potter. Right now He Who Must Not He Named seems a little less dark. What do you think?”

“Not the fifth one.”

Kensi’s head snapped up at Deeks’ croaked request. His eyes were slightly cracked, his head turned towards her.

“Deeks,” she whispered, all but falling out the chair in her desperation to be at his side.

“Mm,” he grunted.

“Oh my god, you’re awake!” She cupped his cheek, needing to confirm what her eyes were telling him. His skin was just as pale and cool as before, but she saw the spark of light in his eyes.

“I’m guessing it would be in poor taste to joke right now?” Deeks said, pausing every few words to catch his breath. When he was done, he cleared his throat.

“You’ve been unconscious for six days,” Kensi told him carefully. “Do you remember what happened.

“Something not good.” He coughed a couple times and winced. “I remember something about mechanic and fraud, but nothing else. Did I get shot or stabbed this time?”

“How about we talk about that after I get a nurse?”

Deeks narrowed his eyes at her, but it didn’t have its usual affect since he blinked halfway through.

“I’ll be right back.” She hurried off, grabbing the first nurse she found (they all new her at this point), who immediately grabbed a car and accompanied Kensi back to Deeks’ room.

The nurse performed the usual checks and asked Deeks a series of orientation questions. For once, he wasn’t actively flirting, but Kensi could tell the nurse was charmed by all the same. Especially when he recalled her name.

“Well, your blood pressure, oxygen, and heart rate are in a good range,” she said. “I’ll ask the speech pathologist come around to assess you and

let your doctor know you’re awake.”

“Thank you, Renee.”

“Oh, you’re going to be trouble.” Smiling at Deeks, she patted his arm, then added to Kensi. “Don’t give him anything to drink or eat until the speech pathologist is by. Ok?”

Any worry Kensi had about Deeks insisting she answer his questions turned out to be unnecessary since his eyes started slipping closed again shortly after Nurse Renee left. He slept restlessly until the speech pathologist came.

She brought in a tray of various liquids and foods, giving Deeks a little of each to try. After that, she asked him a variety of questions and story problems. Even with his energy clearly waning again, Deeks answered them with little difficulty.

In the end, she determined that Deeks didn’t have any trouble with swallowing and aside from some confusion with the date and time, his cognition appeared to be unaffected. Kensi quietly sighed in relief.

Once the room was empty again, Deeks patted the side of his bed, waiting until Kensi gingerly scooted in beside him. He looked thoroughly exhausted and in pain, but determined.

She curled around him as best she could, automatically threading a hand through his hair.

“Ok, what happened?” Deeks asked.

“We went to the mechanics garage, just like you remembered and it turned into a shootout,” Kensi started. “You were hit.” She paused, needing to steel herself against the pain of remembering him laying on the ground, trying to stop his bleeding, and then watching him lose consciousness.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here,” Deeks murmured, shaking her free of the memories.

“The doctors said the bullet hit a small artery. You nearly bled out.” She shuddered, and Deeks kissed her temple.

“I guess that explains why it feels like several elephants walked over me.”

“Deeks.”

“I’m sorry.” He tried to slide his arm around her, but gave up when he couldn’t figure out the tangle of IVs. “Did we catch the guys who did it?”

“Um, yeah, they’re either dead or under arrest,” Kensi said. She knew what he was asking, and that she was lying by omission. She also knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. She hadn’t even come to terms with the reality that he’d been shot by a teammate.

“Good,” Deeks sighed. He closed his eyes, then squinted one back open almost immediately. “You’ll stay here?”

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving.”

Closing his eyes again, he settled into the pillow. Kensi ran her fingers through his hair, relief overshadowing every other emotion.

The truth could wait until later.

[daenystheedreamer]

do u have a great bastard oc

i dont i should make one.... ok its twins. rylene and roy waters are born to rhea waters, the natural daughter of lord celtigar by a tyroshi merchant. pre-king, maybe between meg and casella or just after cassella. rhea is a bit older than aegon, maybe a lot older... she's her father's treasurer and lord celtigar is lord treasurer for the king so maybe they meet that way :) or aegon is lured like in a cartoon with pie smell.

i hc the celtigars having watery blue eyes but theyre like NAUR ITS LAVENDER ITS VIOLET ITS THE LIGHT IT CHANGES!!! born silver haired blue eyed. rhea dyed her hair bright red and the kids do it too and also rhea is called the crayfish so theyre called the crayfish twins. (eagle eyed viewers will see where they will be headed...)

anyway theyre raised mostly out of the spotlight to avoid getting sent off to the faith like meg's daughters. hair dyed red to avoid talk but everyone knows♡♡♡ rylene is lord celtigar' cupbearer and roy is a squire, later knight of the city watch.

after aegon is crowned, the twins show up at court and petition for a small loan of a million dragons which they use to open a beautiful night club in king's landing. they are gangsters♡♡♡ rylene is the brains and roy is the muscle. they're a bit robin hood, stealing and blackmailing from rich nobles to help out flea bottom. its rhe hottest nightclub in KL and they franchise it theres a couple in the riverlands and a bunch in the reach and westerlands. they try to expand to dorne but aegon does sanctions so they cant :/

they have no ambitions for dragons or the throne. the throne is nothing to them its an illusion the throne is there to beg for money which they MAYYY provide for a cost.... rylene becomes an unofficial mistress of whispers 👀

they think their siblings are annoying jocks or emo tryhards. they do fund the blackfyre rebellion a bit on BOTH sides. they dont get arrested cos no one can prove anything. later roy kills a guy in a duel (lovers quarrel) and rylene nearly successfully gaslights everyone during the trial but roy gets imprisoned for a little bit rip. rylene pulls in favours tho so they get him out, it was basically just a gaycation for roy.

still alive by egg's time, at least rylene. maybe roy got killed in a medieval shootout. dunk n egg get free drinks♡♡♡ apply juice for egg tho. both twins hit on dunk and he doesnt get it hes like damn these targs are friendly... so weird.... probably not aegons kids ig

[butterflyintochains]

Finding Out

Sequel to 'Those Small Details' - except this time the team finds out about Kris and Erik. Hilarity and chaos ensues, because it's them, of course it does.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intuition - Jake, Jarry, Rusty

Training is odd today, especially where the four musketeers are concerned. As if there's some grand secret the four of them are sitting on. Jake watches Kris and Erik skate laps around the rink, two streaks of white with raven black hair flying behind them both. They stop at the blue line and talk about something. ''Oh, hey, Erik, wanna recreate Raleigh?'' Kris says.

Erik projectile spits his energy drink out, looking flustered. ''Kris, are you...''

Kris smiles, and rolls his eyes. ''Oh, no, no, not with the kids around. The other thing from Raleigh, with Duncan Keith?'' Erik smirks, and downs his bottle. ''You're on.'' Rusty watches as they set up a race, Jarry notices the electric gaze they share. They take off, skating backwards in a lap around the rink, Kris just barely beats Erik out. Erik doffs his helmet, Kris says. ''Still got it.'' Erik nudges his hip, and says. ''Never lost it, Legend.''

Jake blinks first, looking to his two best friends. Rusty and Tristan both nod, there's something there, there has to be something there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Languages - POJ, Rakell, and Dragon

Pierre-Olivier, Ricky, and Marcus are in a rather unique hockey position. Serving as common tongue confidants to two absolute legends of the sport. PO being Tanger's sounding board in French, Raks and Dragon being the same in Swedish for Erik. The trio have kinda bonded over this, and learned from their leadership core along the way. That doesn't mean they're particularly prepared for everything. As they learn twice in one day. The boys are getting ready for a big game against Vancouver, Erik looks over to Kris. ''Ready, hjartat?'' Marcus and Ricky have to contain their shock. PO almost spits his mouth guard out when Kris responds. ''Let's do this, amour.'' Okay, okay... what the fuck?

The game ends with a 6-5 loss in a dramatic shootout, with Sam Lafferty of all people ending it with a ripper. Kris, like he always does, blames the loss on himself. Erik kneels in front of him, comforting him in near perfect french. ''Kris, regardez moi, sil vous plait. Je t'aime, mon coeur.'' PO sends Sid a slack jawed look, Sid is misty eyed. Kris asks, in near perfect swedish. ''Lova mig, alskad?'' Erik nods, and says. ''Oui, je vous prometre.''

This is when Marcus nearly faints, because Kris says, eyes shining with something older than his little Frans. ''Jag alskar dag ocksa, Erik.'' Ricky looks to Geno - who was closest to Horny back in the day. Geno just smiles, and shrugs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sleep - Gravy, Ned

The team are about an hour and a half out from a game against Minnesota, and are all assembled for roll call in the lobby. Except for the two most important defencemen on the team. Sully sends Gravy and Ned to wrangle them down for the bus to XCel, they first try Erik's room. Ned knocks on the door. ''Hey, Karl, game day, remember?'' Nothing, he tries again. ''Erik, we kinda need you up for the game, dude.'' A friendly hotel maid, Kayla, Ned remembers from this morning, says. ''Mr Nedeljkovic, Mr Karlsson isn't in that room.'' Gravy asks, feeling Sully's frustration three floors up. ''Where is he, then, Kayla?''

Kayla smiles and says. ''Room 15, Mr Graves.'' She goes back to her work, Gravy quickly realizes. ''That's Tanger's room.'' They go down the hall, Ryan looks in the peephole, seeing the duo in Kris' bed, arms wrapped around each other tight. ''Oh... my God, Ned, look.'' Alex takes a look, they look so peaceful, and on any other day he'd hate to disturb them. But, it's a work day. So, he knocks. ''Kris, game day, we're all waiting for you.''

Kris says, sounding half asleep. ''Okay, I'll be right down.'' The duo head down, and inform Sully of status. A few moments later, both Erik and Kris appear in the lobby, suited and booted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jealousy - Flower

It's become tradition by now, ever since 2017, for Flower to hang out with his three brothers after games against each other. Erik, for all his novelty, has slotted in nicely to that tradition. Erik knows Kris and Flower used to be partners in crime, and loves seeing his partner with his old best friend. But, that primal part of him still thinks they're sitting way too close together. God dammit, Kris is his. So, Erik slides up next to Kris, who instinctively wraps an arm around him, allowing Erik to lace their fingers together. ''You jealous, amour?''

Erik says, free hand placed on Kris' thigh. ''No idea what you're talking about, hjartat.'' Flower looks perplexed, fluent in two languages, and competent in two more. He knew they were a thing once upon a time, but that was ages ago... wasn't it? ''Uhm, so... what the hell? I thought you two were broken up!''

Kris nods, and kisses Erik's temple. ''We were, we've been back together since 2019, we live together now.''

Flower turns to his old leaders. ''So, uhh, did you two know about this or...''

Sid nods, looking bashful, any other season Flower would no doubt have known well before anyone else. ''Yeah, we've known for a while.'' Geno adds. ''We were like this too, Flower.'' Erik grins like the fucking cheshire cat when he jokes. ''No sniffing around my man, Fleury, cool?''

Flower smirks, already planning his family initiation prank, maybe asking Tags to put 'Lovebirds' on their jerseys. ''Got ya, Karlsson.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kiss - Everyone Else

Team lunch after a long training session is brotherly as always. The older guys on the team sit and eat together, talking about other games and potential strategies against their rivals. Kris dumps his lunch dishes, when his phone pings - PA zoom meeting. ''Alright, boys, the PA needs me. I'll be in the media room for the next hour or so.'' Kris zips his team hoodie up, adjusts his hat, and - as if they're at home and not in front of the whole team - leans down to kiss Erik on the lips. They come up for air to stunned silence. ''Uhh, Kris, I think the cat's outta the bag, hjartat.'' Fuck, right, they're not at home, but he's the conscience of this team, so fuck it. ''I think it's been out of the bag for a while, amour.'' He kisses Erik again, and says. ''I'll see you at home, have fun on powerplay drills.''

Erik smiles as Kris strides away to his meeting. ''You're cooking tonight!'' Kris, pleased as punch with himself, spins around to say to his partner. ''You love me, don't deny it.''

Erik nods. ''Damn right I do. You love me too.'' Kris finally admits it in public, after all these years of secrecy. ''Oh, fuck yeah I do.'' He goes off for his meeting. Carts looks to him for some kind of explanation, so do Eller, Nieto, and Acciari. ''Well, when did this all happen?'' Noel asks. Erik just vaguely says, finishing his lunch. ''Raleigh 2011.'' Because neither of them feel like rehashing their story, it's time for writing its new chapters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a quick ficlet, it's twin felt unfinished, so I just had to have the rest find out - including Flower, because there's no way he wouldn't. And, these two are just utterly shameless when everyone does find out.

[inafieldofdaisies]

WIP Whenever / Weekend | Tagging @thesingularityseries @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat @adelaidedrubman @strafethesesinners @strangefable @nightbloodbix @aceghosts @madparadoxum @g0dspeeed @trench-rot @josephseedismyfather @josephslittledeputy @euryalex @sstewyhosseini @detectivelokis @purplehairsecretlair @jinfromyarikawa @shegetsburned @clicheantagonist @locustandwildhoney @fourlittleseedlings @poisonedtruth @vampireninjabunnies-blog @cassietrn @wrathfulrook @jacobsneed @voidika and anyone with something to share <3

*chanting* Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, babyyy.

Dropping a little snippet from Chapter 10 that totally got hijacked from John (and Sabrina) by Leslie and Calahan, which I find so ironic, because John would SO hate that (payback for butting in with his flashback chapter at the beginning of the WIP, js). Am I living for the chaos these two bring to the table, absolutely. # did someone say bromance?

September 1, 2018 | The night of Joseph Seed's arrest

Leslie sighed as he parked his jeep in front of what could be barely described as a motel. Just as he was promised over the phone, the sign out front announced they had vacancy. It had seen better days, with most of it's letters unlit against the darkening sky. After driving for so long, though, he wasn't going to be picky about the place he'd be catching a few hours of sleep at before heading off to find Sabrina. He had to admit, the County she had chosen to call her new home had an appeal. He could picture himself living here had she accepted his offer, finally given him a chance. It's all in the past now. Friendly visits is all you're getting, Rina. He got out of the vehicle, striding over to the motel's entrance, already feeling beckoned by the promise of a hot shower and actual bed to rest on. He pushed the wooden door open, the bell above it announcing his arrival to the older woman that was standing at the reception. The rustic interior looked far more promising than the outside of the building and he felt a twinge of hope that maybe his night wasn't going to go so bad after all. The feeling was short-lived the moment he was greeted by a sudden loud shriek and series of curses. What the fuck? "I ain't talking to you, get out now! Fucking Seeds. OUT. We're not selling."

Leslie eyed the angry woman in confusion, speaking out in the calm tone he used anytime he'd have to interview a diffucult witness, "M'am, I'm here because I have a reservation." "BULLSHIT. John GODDAMNED Seed has no reservation here. I SAID, GET OUT.", she practically screamed the last words before reaching underneath the reception desk and pulling out a shotgun. The stare she gave him was full of complete loathing, something he had only experienced from suspects to that point, the fact she cocked the weapon didn't help matters. He tried again as pushed his black jacket aside, revealing the detective badge that was attached to his belt, "My name is Leslie Parish. I called about a room few days back, I'm not sure if I spoke with you, m'am…maybe this is why you're confused." Seconds passed by in silence with the woman glaring at him in suspicion before she slapped a hand over her mouth, then let out an embarrassed laugh. "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. I have to say, I confused you with somebody else.", she muttered as she put away the shotgun and Leslie released the breath he was holding in anticipation of a shootout.

"Are you having trouble with someone, m'am? If I can be of any assistance-", he was tired, but not one to ever refuse help to citizens, especially with how on edge the woman seemed. "No. No. It's all just peachy. I'm Abeline, we did speak on the phone, Detective.", she reached out a hand for Les, which he shook. The whole time she eyed his arm with a strange expression. "Glad to hear that. But I have to ask about your extreme reaction…" "Ah, no offense, it's just that you're a dead ringer for a person not liked at all around this parts, so don't get shocked if folks look at ya strange or pull out their guns when you approach.", Abeline pursed her lips as she considered him, "Damn, boy, even your eyes are blue." Why am I not liking any of this? "M'am?" "Don't mind me, silly old me. I'm going to get your room ready, dear, give me five minutes.", she gestured to an old couch by the window overlooking the motel's entrance, "Sit. I will be right back." Leslie took a seat as instructed, finding himself lost in thought as he ran a hand over his dark beard mindlessly, wondering if everyone in the County was that level of direct and trigger happy, and how Sabrina was settling in. It didn't take long for Abeline to return, a cheery smile pointed his way as she came downstairs, though he swore he heard her mutter under her breath, "Something ain't right." "I'm sorry?", he spoke up, set on clearing up whatever was bothering the woman about him once and for all. "Dear, I just have to ask. Are you sure you have no connection to anyone with last name Seed?", her tone was dead serious. "Uh, no, m'am." "Call me Abeline, dear.", she laughed, "No need to be so formal." "Okay.", Les replied as he smoothed down his hair, wishing the strange conversation would be over. I'm too tired for this. "Good, good. I hope you got here without any issues. This is", she dropped an old looking key in his palm and pointed in the direction of the stairs next to the reception, "the key to your room, number's on the tag, you're on the second floor. If you need anything, I will be right here." "Thank you, m- Abeline. Have a nice evening. ", he smiled and grabbed his bag from the floor. "Good night, Detective.", she called out as he climbed up the stairs.

In a couple of minutes, he was unlocking the door to his room and with a sigh he dropped his luggage by the entrance. The space was small, but cozy, with a bed that called his name. He stripped off his jacket and shoulder holster, leaving both on the comforter. The rest of his clothes followed suit until he found himself down to only his boxers and headed off to the bathroom for a shower. The hot water did wonders to his tense muscles after the long drive from Portland. He stepped out way too soon, wrapping a towel around his waist and pattering over to his bag to grab a fresh pair of underwear. In record time, he sorted his belongings, feeling content as he crawled in bed, contemplating how Sabrina would react when she sees him in the morning. Over the last few months, they had managed to stay in touch, even agreed he'd visit her sometimes in the future. Anytime they talked, he couldn't help but hear worry in her voice. It was the reason why when Captain Buchanan offered him to take some of his saved vacation days, he had accepted. He needed to make sure she was actually doing okay, that she wasn't putting on a show for him like she used to back in Portland, always refusing to rely on anyone. Despite his weariness, he found himself unable to drift off, staring at the ceiling for hours in wait for sleep to come. It was then that he heard a plane flying overhead and he looked at his watch in curiosity. "3 am. Who is flying that early? Are we back in the city or what?", he muttered as he stifled a yawn. He turned on his side, staring at the shadows formed from the dim light coming in through the windows. Back in Portland when he would find himself struggling to fall asleep, it was usually Sabrina who kept him company over the phone, another reason why the last few months hadn't been too easy to navigate. He missed the routine they had going, her friendship. Leslie couldn't pinpoint exactly when he had finally drifted off, but the next thing he heard was a loud knock on his door. "Detective. There's a situation.", Abeline's muffled voice carried in from the hallway. "M'am, can't this wait?", He groaned in protest, looking at his watch with blurry eyes. He expected it to be an early morning, but to his shock he realized he had overslept. 2 pm? Fuck. "I'm coming.", he muttered as he dragged himself out of bed and cracked open the door, not even realizing the woman would be getting an eyeful of his bare chest as he peeked outside. "Oh my goodness. I assumed you would be awake, I'm sorry.", Abeline shifted her gaze back to his face with an embarrassed smile. "It's alright.", he rasped out. "I- It's kind of hard to explain, but there's something you might want to see, Detective." Leslie nodded, "Give me some time to get dressed, and I will be right down." "Of course." He closed the door, releasing a tired sigh as he ran a hand over his face in hopes of chasing away the sleepiness that was still lingering. He rushed over to the bathroom to freshen up and quickly got dressed.

As he got back down to the lobby, Abeline was waiting with a steaming mug of coffee. She passed him the cup with shaky hands, "An apology for the rude wake-up call, dear." "Thank you.", he took a sip, feeling grateful for the much needed doze of caffeine, before he asked, "What do I need to see?" She pointed to a TV at the corner of the reception and wordlessly moved behind the desk and turned it on, fidgeting with her fingers as a well-dressed man appeared on the screen. "This is the man I mistook you for, Detective.", she whispered as the stranger spoke of sin and saying yes. He didn't see much resemblance between himself and the man. Leslie rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was still dreaming, the words coming from the TV certainly made little sense to him. He half-paid attention to the religious ramblings until the man took hold of a woman dressed in law enforcement attire. Her face seemed familiar to him, and to his horror soon, he realized why: he'd seen her in pictures Sabrina had sent him. They worked together. He knew that uniform. Her injuries paired with the distressed look she wore made his blood freeze. "What the hell?", he muttered, getting closer to the TV, his blue gaze glued to it now. "…don't worry, we will come for you. Welcome to Eden's Gate.", were the last words the man spoke before the recording ended, only to begin all over again. "Eden's Gate?", he turned to Abeline, "What is this?" "They're a cult, dear. Have been plaguing the County for ages, but our good old Sheriff couldn't do much about it. The man you saw, John Seed, his brother is the leader. We're used to their propaganda, but this broadcast is different, has been looping all morning." "A cult?", his tone took an incredulous note. Sabrina hadn't mentioned anything to him. Fucking hell, Rina. You were hiding this so I don't worry for you, I know it. "Yes, dear." "That woman… she's a Deputy, is she not?" Abeline nodded, "Joey. Poor girl. I fear how she ended up there. Detective, there's more… all communications are down." Leslie strode over to the landline, picking up the receiver and dealing 911. "Dead. The line is dead.", he whispered. Next, he pulled out his phone, his eyes narrowing at fact he had no service. All of his most recent notifications were from around 3 am, then nothing. "I told you we're cut off. Lost count how many Eden's Gate trucks have been passing by on the road since I woke up." "What are you saying, Abeline?" He abandoned his coffee cup at the desk, reeking a hand through his hair as he paced around the lobby. Worry of the unknown gripped him, fear that Sabrina and her sister were in trouble too. He held his breath, waiting for the woman's reply. "I- I think what we've all been fearing is gonna happen, is happening: Joseph Seed kicking his people into action. That his brother is taking over the region."

[danadriel]

"My time with Greesha's clan was being quite pleasant for a position of servitude, they were not stupid, they realized quickly I'm not great for hard labor, I'm not very strong so they let me do lighter yet annoying tasks like cleaning the trucks, which was fine to me, but of course my main job was as a fuck toy….and holy fuck these people are horny! but they were not violent with me so its also ok, still I was not really pleased with the idea of being stuck in a place, they moved very little for a nomad clan and I was longing for the road,I could technically leave at any time I was not their prisoner, but I couldn't not leave during the storm season, not just because rain is acid, but even if it was regular water i would die really quickly of hypothermia in the road so that would be my home for a while.

Greesha become way more friendly as the time passed but she still was kinda paranoid with me near the clan's children, I could go anywhere on the camp except for the the nursery inside the "nest truck" this truck was some sort of large and heavily modified military truck, the exterior walls were covered with improvised ballistic armour, and during emergencies all children are instructed to run and hide inside it, so adults knew were they went and they could focus in protect a single place, in this truck there was 3 major rooms, the nursery, kitchen and Greesha's Bedroom all divided just by curtains, every night I was chained in her bedroom were she could keep her eye on me, but from her room I could see the whole truck,what became really important in a following event.

One night as I was sleeping in my pile of rags I woke up startled by the clear sound of a shootout, Greesha darted outside the truck while she grabbed her rifle, then the truck was suddenly stormed by several kids , they all ran for the nursery as they were instructed, that happened before and lasted few minutes then everything went back to normal…but not this time, as the minutes passed the firefight only got more intense and heavier weapons were being used, I had no idea what to do I was chained and I was not even able to look trough the windows, meanwhile the cubs were all in hugging eachother scared in the corner of the nursery, there was only one adult mother with them but she was too heavily pregnant to fight if needed,she tried to calm the kids but she was clearly as much scared as them.

Their panic and my one only got worse as projectiles began to hit the truck's hull, whoever was attacking the clan was clearly aiming for the nursery, the stress of the situation was immense, I could see the walls bulging as high calliber rounds impacted, I could swear that at any moment some sort of armour piercing shot would rip that wall and convert me or those kids in to mince meat…then silence, the firefight reduced a little enough that I could hear someone pretty heavy aproaching fast, at first I thought it could be mother Greesha, but I was wrong.A massive human man bursted desperately into the truck with a rifle in hand, he was wearing a worn out uniform of the old federation and the characteristic armband of the "human resistance", in the moment he saw the cubs in the end of the truck he took a grenade from his tactical vest, pullet the pin out and prepared to throw it as he yelled "HUMANITY FIRST" the cringy moto of the old federation, at the top of his lungs, in this moment I did something I never knew I was brave enough to do.

I pounced over him! and luckily enough the chain was long enough to allow it, as I grabbed him I bit his neck and held his hand with the grenade, I had no chance facing a man that large in a fair fight he was like at least 100kg, but I did what I could , my sharp teeth pierced his neck in a critical place and his blood gushed inside my mouth , we fell in to the ground as he tried to get rid of me, I held him strongly as I could and ripping as much flesh as I could from his neck, he probably succumbed from the bleeding in seconds but I kept holding for I don't know how long, I was there over his body, with my teeth deep on his neck and my hand on the grenade, I was certain that thing was about to explode, but I just stood quiet lost in an state of pure adrenaline.

Finally when Greesha entered the room she frantically removed the grenade from my hand almost breaking my fingers and disposed of it far from the camp, I believe she tried to interrogate me, but I fell catatonic for several hours, when I returned to reality we were already on the move far away from the battle, once in safety and all the wounded were cared for she came to me incredulous, once she noticed one of the attackers sneaked behind the camp and went straight to the nursery she was sure it was over for their kids, it would be another tragedy like many times before, but I prevented it , she called me brave, but I told her don't think I was really brave or heroic I felt that was done primarily for spite…That guy, that uniform, that shout…that woke up something inside me, the regret of never had done anything against the old federation regime, back in the day I saw so many rebels fight the system while I stood quiet behind my desk , they died heroes while I lived as a coward hating myself, I think all that frustration brew in this ultimate moment of real action.

Greesha laughed and told me: "perhaps it was the wheel of fate, I lived to fight another day and today my fight saved many lives" and she was proud of me, not just her but the whole clan was really happy for what I did, so much so that in the next day they threw a party to celebrate their survival (a common celebration among nomadic clans) and they let me partake in! I drunk so much beer and filled my gut with meat, what meat? meat from that guy I killed! feraloids don't have any restraint in eating human meat specially from humans who tried to kill their cubs, and they love to watch someone like me commit cannibalism…mother Greesha in particular seemed to had alot of pleasure in watching that.

By the end of the night we were really drunk, Greesha took me to her bedroom, but instead of chaining me as usual she put me in her bed and kissed me, mama was ready to love and I was too, it began with kisses, and soon my head was between her legs and her cock in my mouth…and ohhh I can tell you the old mamma has a strong shaft between her legs and I sucked that with passion!once she was done with my mouth she mounted me like a horny dog, I even get embarrassed to repeat the naughty things she moaned in my ears…but one in particular made me drool in pleasure, she said "I will fill you with pups you stupid whore" I loved that…as she finished with my ass and her seed flooded my guts I felt something strange, like something changed, that weird feeling when something serious on your body changed and you don't know if that is right or wrong, anyway I was too drunk and tired to think about it so I just slept cuddling Greesha.

Fast forward some weeks as the routine continued I began to feel weird, morning sickness, metallic taste on my mouth, my breasts hurt a lot and my belly swollen, turns out I became PREGNANT! yes I got pregnant from butt sex! at first I thought she did something weird with me but she was equally clueless, we had to do some back and forth on the nearby city until we found a doctor with some knowledge in mutations and he explained how that is possible, turns out the Flesh Masters who modded me went a little further than the basic, long story short, I can make children with my ass! Greesha laughed so much in the doctors office that she almost choked!

I was shocked but really happy, it was way too kinky to believe but it was real and became even more real as the months passed, my belly grew like a beachball, locomotion became quite hard but I'm enjoying it a lot, specially the special attention from Greesha, she pampers me so much, she is always cuddling, kissing and rubbing me whenever she gets the chance, and now I can help her in the nursery because my tits are functional! and they produce a lot, I feel like a little cow….This being a lot of fun and pleasurable in the last months but I already told Greesha that I long for the road, life on the clan is cool but I feel that I have a journey a head of me that I need to do alone, so once I the birthing is done and I'm recovered I will go back to my lone wanderer life, she was really sad to hear that, but she understands it , so we are enjoying or last weeks together as much as possible, and I'm preparing mentally and physically to push 3 babies out of my ass!" (Danadriel)

[saintfourr]

My story for the secondary characters of TWDG

Nate

Asshole.

Yeah, he's an asshole and everyone knows it

He takes Troy's place at Howe's Warehouse as one of Carver's henchmen.

Russell tricks him and shoots him in the dick.

Yeah, I only did it because I wanted Nate to get screwed and pay for what he did.

Tamara Sandusky

She is alive, and helps Shel and Clem get past the walkers and fend off the horde.

Her husband died while trying to escape to find help for them.

She helped Wyatt who got caught in the fence while trying to get in to help Becca and Vince.

She helps Vince up onto the roof so they don't have to move the dresser in front of the door.

She is shot in the arm during the shootout but survives.

She shoots Mike through the window when she sees them trying to flee after attacking Clementine.

Danielle (Jolene's Daughter)

She manages to get away from the bandits in the forest before they do anything, unfortunately Jolene didn't know.

She meets with the St. John and starts living with them unaware of the cannibalism. After the truth is revealed, she runs away with Lee's group.

She goes a long time without eating because of the trauma of discovering the truth, Lee who helps her.

Lee hands the plush rabbit to her in an attempt to make her happy, and succeeds.

She gets a little reclusive and sometimes asks about her mom, Lee doesn't know how to respond but tells Carley he's working up the nerve.

He tells her and she starts to cry, but he says that she never forgot about Danielle and always cared about her. It helps her slightly.

Riley and Joyce (Sam's Owners)

They are attacked in the camp and the father sacrifices himself for them to escape.

They succeed and start living elsewhere, they meet the cabin group but don't stay with them for long.

They are fooled by Carver into thinking Howe's warehouse was a safe place, which it was but they didn't know how cruel Carver was.

Like the cabin group, they run away but they end up at the ski hut with Kenny and Sarita.

They are very welcoming to Clementine and are happy that she took care of Sam (in my version, Sam doesn't die and is super friendly).

Unfortunately Nate (which is in place of Troy) kills Sam after he continuously starts barking and attacking him.

In the end, the girls head back to Howe's warehouse with the group, trying to turn it into a base.

Randy, Patricia and Gill

I hate how they only show up at the end of the season and then steal Jane and Clem and run away.

In my version, they continue with the group helping everyone to make a secure base in Howe's old warehouse. Something that was never in Carver's hands.

Patricia adopted Randall after his parents died and he wandered aimlessly.

Randall and Patricia are just friends, they are not a couple.

Gill tries to be a brother to the other kids even though he's a bit shy and closed off.

Randall is shot by Becca when she catches him trying to steal supplements and run away.

He dies from blood loss.

Eleanor (Molly's sister)

She was found by Lee with Cliff on the train, she was very welcoming to them and made friends with Clementine very quickly.

She liked the idea of ​​making the train move but thought the idea of ​​the boat was dangerous, she has already passed by the docks and seen the condition of the boats.

She tried to warn Kenny but he wouldn't listen.

Molly didn't know she was with them and when Molly showed her photo to Lee, he didn't recognize Eleanor because she looked different.

Molly and Eleanor reunite at the manor and she leaves with Molly.

She thanks Lee for everything Lee has done for her (helping her with the walkers and protecting Molly).

Molly appear again only in the third season at the dump, helping Javier's family. But unfortunately Eleanor dies due to lack of treatment and medicine.

Sophie

She survives but loses her memory while running away so she doesn't remember what happened before she ran away.

She makes it to Ericsson and is welcomed but doesn't know how to respond to what happened.

She doesn't remember what Marlon did to her, she arrives with Clementine. She was the one who helped Clem and AJ out of the car.

Marlon is happy that she doesn't know and manages to keep the secret.

One warning: Brody isn't killed and she just ends up passing out with her right ear deaf, but due to the amount of blood on Clem (after she helped clean the wound), Marlon is unaware that she survived but he manages to convince the group that Clem killed her.

Sophie's memory slowly returns until she fully remembers that Minerva tried to kill her while they were arguing before Sophie tried to run away.

During Delta's attack, Sophia stays inside the school protecting the children.

[familyofpaladins]

For the ask game, 2 and 10 right back at ya ;)

~noodletoodledoodles

hi @noodletoodledoodles !!! Thanks for the ask! :D

I answered 2 in this ask :)

10. Who’s your favorite turtle? What's your favorite version of them?

I say tough question because I love them all in their own ways, but really it always comes back to Leo. Theres just something about how he's leader and looking out for his brothers and being serious but also has his little moments of being carefree. He's also just very very whumpable, and that increases the favorite value lol. 03 Leo I think is at the top of my favorite list, because he's decently serious but has his silly moments. In season four he faces his demons of feeling like he's not doing enough to protect his family, and eventually realizes he did the best he could, and is lighter after that. He may butt heads with his brothers occasionally but he's never outright mean or rude. And he gets whumped. A lot.

Rise Leo is also so good because he gets to be silly!!! He is free from the leader role for a while and gets to be a silly quippy teenager! But you can see the leader/strategist in him throughout the series and that's very cool.

Raph is a close second fav, because I love the "tough guy with a softy and squishy heart of gold" trope. He may be tough and act annoyed by his brothers a lot but he loves them so much and is so protective of them. I mention in my answer to question 2 that when I was little I actually hated [03]Raph because I thought he was too mean. But as an adult I can see his good traits and past his tough guy act (it also helps to see more than just random episodes that I happened to catch on tv lol). I love 03 Raph (and 12 raph) for all the traits previously mentioned. But a special shootout to Rise Raph for being the friendly giant that made me learn to love a Raph.

[stormikins]

holiday 👀

from this ask game!

holiday is jenn/kal post me3 where they met again on rannoch during the first anniversary of the geth/quarian war ending. And kal gets to be jenn's bodyguard hehe

“Sorry, Shepard," Tali says. "If Wrex managed to come, I would have just told them he’d do it.” That gets a laugh out of Shepard, and it’s a truly beautiful sound even if short. “So, who is the unfortunate shmuck who gets to be my shadow?” “I wouldn’t consider it unfortunate, ma’am” Kal states. Shepard’s gaze snaps to his and he straightens under it, grey eyes seemingly piercing through to him. “It’s you?” “Yes, ma’am.” Shepard’s face gives nothing away as she continues to stare at him for another moment. When she turns her head back to Tali, her jaw clenches. Did he do something to upset her? To make her not like him? They’ve only had three conversations, and one of them was in the middle of a shootout. He would have thought that holding his own against a colossus that long would leave little doubt to his abilities. When he looks to Tali, it’s obvious she’s grinning even through the mask. “I thought you would appreciate the friendly face.” “Sure, that’s what you thought.” It’s obvious something unspoken is happening between the two of them. Something that Kal is not privy to.

[universe-in-the-void-in-the-cube]

I did a bad thing. I did a REALLY BAD thing!!!

I got board and had GPTChat write a Hetalia crack fic of Denmark and Norway based off the Loony Toons cartoon Duck Amuck with Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny. I am just testing the program to see if it could write a basic plot/fic for me so that I could turn around and write a better version of it to help me get out of this bit of shitty writer’s block I am having.

Denmark was feeling great as he strutted onto the screen, ready for his big moment in the cartoon. He was the star, after all, and he was sure that this was his chance to shine. The scene was set in a beautiful countryside, complete with lush green fields and a gentle breeze blowing through the trees.

But as soon as the scene started, things started to go wrong. The background changed suddenly from the countryside to a dingy city street. Denmark looked around in confusion, wondering how he had ended up in such an unsavory location.

Just as he was about to ask what was going on, he felt a sharp pain in his backside. He turned around to see a pack of angry dogs chasing him, barking and snarling. Denmark ran as fast as he could, but the dogs were closing in.

Suddenly, he was whisked away to the moon. Denmark's eyes widened in shock as he looked around at the barren landscape. He couldn't believe what was happening - how had he ended up on the moon?

As he wandered around, he found himself shrinking smaller and smaller until he was no bigger than a mouse. A hungry cat appeared out of nowhere, and Denmark was forced to run for his life once again.

All the while, Denmark was completely unaware that he was in a cartoon. He thought that all of these strange events were really happening to him, and he couldn't understand why things had gone so wrong.

But finally, after what felt like an eternity, Denmark stumbled across a familiar face. It was Norway, standing behind the scenes with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Norway!" Denmark cried out, relieved to see a friendly face. "What's going on? Why is all of this happening to me?"

Norway just smiled and shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Denmark," he said innocently. "I'm just here to make sure that everything runs smoothly."

Denmark was confused, but he didn't have time to dwell on it. The scene changed once again, and he found himself in a wild west shootout. He ducked and weaved as bullets flew past him, trying to stay out of harm's way.

As the chaos continued, Denmark started to realize that something was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but everything seemed just a little bit too... random.

Finally, as the scene came to a close, Norway revealed the truth. "Surprise!" he said with a chuckle. "You've been in a cartoon this whole time, Denmark. I was just having a little bit of fun."

Denmark was shocked, but he couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. He had been the unwitting star of Norway's twisted cartoon, and he couldn't believe that he had fallen for it.

But as they walked off set together, Denmark knew that he and Norway were still the best of friends. Even if Norway had just spent the last few minutes torturing him for his own amusement.

 ______________________

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Diplomatic Immunity (Maris, 1991)

I've admitted elsewhere that the possibility of making a joke review has definitely influenced my decision to see certain movies. And if I can let you in on a secret, that was the case here. You see, the title of the movie is a line from a buddy cop movie many of you have seen, and I was gonna make a joke to that effect. Here it goes:

*Marge Simpson voice* "We have Lethal Weapon 2 at home."

There. Now you know. See, when you read my reviews, you don't just get my thoughts on the movies, but a little insight into what makes me tick, and what goes into the process of writing these up. Please don't hit unfollow. Now, because I'm long winded, you're gonna get a few more thoughts about this one, because quite frankly it would be a little sad if that terrible joke was all I got out of it. So like Patricia Charbonneau in Call Me, I'm going to squeeze some more juice out of this movie. See, more insights into the process. Please don't hit unfollow.

Now, as you can guess from the title, the concept of diplomatic immunity figures heavily into the plot. The hero's daughter has been killed by some scumbag who happens to be the son of a Parayguan diplomat, and thanks to the concept of diplomatic immunity, he's able to get off scot-free, inspiring the hero to fly down to Paraguay to get his revenge. This falls in the tradition of action movies who take a certain legal concept and shape their entire worldview around it. In Dirty Harry and any number of policiers, Miranda Rights are what's on the mind. Here, and in Lethal Weapon 2, a substantially better movie in every respect, it's diplomatic immunity. The movie even takes a minute to explain the concept, making the assumption that the viewer hasn't already seen Lethal Weapon 2 and probably rented this one by mistake.

Now, the biggest problem with this movie is that the production values don't allow for the kind of thrills one would hope for given the premise. Some of the fun of movies where characters go to shoot up third world countries is that A) you usually get to spend time in a halfway exotic locale (usually a politically friendly country standing in for the real or fictitious country the movie is set in) and B) you get a pretty respectable body count with all the enemy soldiers getting blown away by the heroes. Here, you get some uniforms that look like they might be foreign, but none of the locales glimpsed in the movie suggest they ever left the continental US. Lots of scenes running through alleys, hallways, nondescript streets, and lots of low energy chases and shootouts. And the obvious low budget means that only a handful of henchmen stand in the way of the heroes in any given scene. The sky high body counts of Commando, Rambo, McBain or even a Cannon Films production are not within the movie's grasp.

This might have been a non-issue had the movie gone all in on the sleazy angles of the material, but this is a case where the movie was probably made a decade too late. I'm a fan of Peter Maris' earlier film Delirium, which moves fast and has a nice grimy, exploitation texture. This lacks such qualities, and feels silky smooth when it should be coarse like sandpaper. This isn't due to the lack of sleazy elements, however. The scumbag likes to torture women and take their pictures as he kills them so he can use their faces for his fucked up paintings. He also uses the faces of his mother Meg Foster, with whom he has a creepy relationship, and his mistress, who explains Fabiana Udenio, who explains how he's into BDSM in his personal life, and despite his hankering for torture, is actually a submissive. I believe that makes him a switch, if we're using the proper parlance. She also explains the concept of BDSM to the hero, and like with the earlier explanation of diplomatic immunity it leads me to believe that the screenwriters kept a dictionary handy throughout their process. I should note that she does this after trying to taze the hero while she has on a gimp mask, although the rest of the movie is nowhere near as sexy, especially as it has the veneer of a TV movie. (I should note that the mistress also has a strained relationship with her father, making parental issues something of a recurring theme in the movie.)

Now, if you're still gonna watch this, I should note some of the casting makes this a bitter better. Billy Drago as an arms dealer who decides to help the hero is easily the best part about the whole thing, as he brings an unpredictability to the material thanks to his normally villainous casting. You get the sense that he's not helping the hero out of the goodness of his heart, but because he likes killing people and is awful good at it and won't turn down a chance to kill some more. Sadly, he's not in nearly enough of the movie, for reasons I assume had to do with availability. (Although...it's not like he's an A-lister. He can't be that busy.) And Meg Foster is effectively icy in her creepy as hell role as the villain's mother, staring him down on multiple occasions with her impossibly blue eyes. (On that note, if there's a movie where Foster shoots laser beams from her eyes, please let me know.) And you get Robert Forster as a shady CIA guy (although I guess the adjective is redundant in most cases) and Ken Foree as a sympathetic bartender, although neither has enough screentime. As the lead, Bruce Boxleitner is... fine, but despite the movie's attempts to convince me that he was a super deadly black ops guy, his whole vibe was "your friend's dad who's having a midlife crisis so he bought a leather jacket." Honestly, if you made this a decade earlier and swapped him with Forster, this would be at least fifty percent better. There, I've fixed the movie.

[liamhaydn-blog]

Arsenal 22/23 a season review Part 2 of 3: December-International Break: Leaving it Late, Arsenal beaten but not broken

 World Cup & Mid-Season Friendlies

The 2022 World Cup saw Saka take his performances to the biggest stage in football and deliver once more, the winger scoring 3 in 4 games, and he was a regular thorn in France’s side in the Quarters, winning a penalty. It was not all positives however as Arsenal suffered the devastating blow of losing Gabriel Jesus to the treatment table, the Brazilian requiring knee surgery after representing his country against Cameroon.

The Arsenal players either not selected for international duty or who failed to qualify for the World Cup travelled to Dubai to play in the Dubai Super Cup. Arsenal beat Lyon 3-0 then got in some bonus penalty shoot-out practice to gain an extra point. It looked like they could use the practice as they beat Lyon 2-1 on spot kicks after five each. Arsenal then beat AC Milan 2-1 and won the cup with another shootout win, this time 4-3. The day before the World Cup final Arsenal played their final mid-season friendly, losing 2-0 at the Emirates to Juventus.

December

Then on Boxing Day, just 8 days after Messi and Argentina had edged Mbappe and France on penalties after one of the most memorable World Cup finals ever, Arsenal returned to Premier League action. The big question was how they would cover for the loss of Gabriel Jesus, and *if* they could. Eddie Nketiah would be the man to take his place, he had yet to score in the Premier League this season but this would be his first start. And it would come against West Ham at the Emirates.

Saka thought he’d given Arsenal the lead with a smart finish past Fabianski, but he had been offside in the build-up when the ball had just caught his heel on its way through to Nketiah. Arsenal were to be disappointed further, when a West Ham counter attack saw Bowen sprinting into the box, Saliba slid in and caught the West Ham man just enough to justify a penalty. Benrahma didn’t waste the opportunity and against the run of play the visitors led.

Arsenal had it all to do in the second half, and they got on with doing it by equalising in the 53rd minute, after either a poor Ødegaard shot (or else genius pass) found Saka with only the keeper to beat and the youngster slotted home with ease. 5 minutes later and Arsenal completed the turn-around, when Xhaka found Martinelli in the box. The Brazilian winger shifted the ball to provide the angle he wanted for the shot and beat Fabianski with everyone expecting a cross. Nketiah wrapped up the three points after lovely play from White and a pass into the forward by Ødegaard. Arsenal’s number 14 spun his defender who had got too tight, then lashed a fierce shot into the bottom corner for Arsenal’s December goal of the month. It had been six weeks since Arsenal had last played a competitive game, but seemingly little had changed, they were still too hot to handle for overmatched opposition, as Arsenal made it 7 home league wins from 7, this one in front of Arsene Wenger, attending his first match since leaving the club in 2018.

On New Years Eve, Arsenal travelled to Brighton with the extraordinary opportunity to go 7 points clear after City had surprisingly dropped points earlier that day at home to struggling Everton. Arsenal started like a team who meant business, Partey put a stop to a potential Brighton counter and then Zinchenko fed Martinelli, it was hard to say whether his was an attempted cross or shot, but all that matters is the ball eventually came through to Saka who took a quick touch to set himself, then with composure beyond his years he calmly passed it into the net.

In the 39th minute Arsenal’s lead was doubled when a corner was cleared only as far as Ødegaard, whose strike travelled through many bodies and all the way into the net, his decision to hit the ball into the ground proving an excellent one. The second half had barely got under way when Arsenal bagged their third, Martinelli’s shot being spilled by Sanchez, and Nketiah was on hand to profit. Brighton pulled one back through Mitoma, but Arsenal looked to have killed the game once more when one of the passes of the season by Ødegaard put Martinelli in behind the defence. Martinelli had the option of squaring for Saka, but he went and finished it himself. Brighton refused to give up however and cut the deficit down to two once more, when teenage striker Evan Ferguson profited from Saliba’s failure to deal with a long ball down the middle.

With 2 minutes and added time still to play it appeared Brighton had cut the deficit yet further, when Mitoma’s deflected effort beat Ramsdale. Fortunately for The Gunners Mitoma came back from an offside position and the goal was ruled out. Arsenal saw out the 4-2 win, which in the end was perhaps more difficult and nervy than it should have been, but they had scored some fine goals with all 4 of their attackers getting on the scoresheet, and most importantly they had moved 7 points clear of City by winning a tricky away fixture.

Across the start of November and the end of December Arsenal played 4 league games and won all 4, meaning Arteta was voted Premier League manager of the month for the combined period of November/December. Ødegaard had finished up strongly before the World Cup, and following the resumption of the Premier League, he’d started back up even stronger. 3 goals and 3 assists in 4 games saw him pick up the Premier League player of the month for November/December. Arsenal’s individual player of the month for December was Saka.

January

Arsenal began 2023 by hosting 3rd place Newcastle United, a team who had won 8 of their last 10 league games, and only lost once in the league all season, that in the 98th minute back in August away at Liverpool. Since losing that game they had conceded just 5 goals in their next 10 league games going into this fixture, so there was no doubting the stern test they would provide.

Arsenal flew out of the traps but Newcastle somehow got out of the opening 10 minutes without falling a goal behind. After weathering the early storm, the game then became littered by fouls, breaking the flow of the game which seemed to suit the visitors much more. The referee Andrew Madley showed 3 yellow cards in 5 minutes as he quickly lost control of the game, it appeared too fast and frantic for him to deal with and it had quickly descended into chaos. By half-time Madley had shown 5 yellow cards, 3 going to the home side. The best chances were all coming from set-pieces, Gabriel coming closest for Arsenal with his header from an Ødegaard free-kick going just wide. Joelinton at the other end missed a big opportunity from a corner, left unmarked at the backpost he failed to hit the target, had he been able to it would have undoubtedly opened the scoring for his side.

In the 59th minute, Arsenal looked to score from a free-kick whipped in by Saka, when Gabriel appeared to be dragged down in the box. Replays show conclusively that his shirt was being pulled from behind by Dan Burn as the Arsenal centre-back attempted to get on the end of the free-kick, VAR reviewed the incident but did not intervene. Arsenal pinned Newcastle in their own half for near the entirety of the second half, but the visitors discipline, organisation and concentration was at such a high level that The Gunners were still only threatening from set-pieces. Martinelli was the latest to go close, with his flicked header going just the wrong side of the post.

Arsenal’s one good chance from open play in the second half fell to Eddie Nketiah after a clever flick from Xhaka, he made room for the shot before it was denied by the outstretched leg of Nick Pope in the Newcastle goal. In additional time, Arsenal had a second strong appeal for a penalty when Xhaka’s attempted cross was blocked by the arm of Jacob Murphy. His arm was away from his body but his back was turned on the ball, there was a case for a penalty as similar incidents had resulted in ones before, but it would have been harsh. Arteta who had been getting increasingly irate on the touchline in the second half was furious with the decision and became engaged in a bitter disagreement with his opposite number Eddie Howe on the touchline. Arsenal players were also livid with the decision and their appeals to the referee in the aftermath saw the club receive an FA charge for failing to control its players. There was of course no such charge for the referee for failing to control the game for the best part of 90 minutes.

In the end Newcastle became the first team to stop Arsenal scoring in the league and the first team to come away from The Emirates with a point. The night could have been a tribute act to Diego Simeone. When watching Newcastle, you could have been watching the Argentine’s Atletico Madrid side at their peak, in the way Newcastle used gamesmanship to run the clock down, but aswell defended for their lives. And on the touchline there was similarities in the way Arteta tried to kick every ball with his team, so passionate and hungry for the win you thought he may at one stage enter the field and try to break Newcastle down himself. Arteta’s passion on the touchline attracted a lot of attention in the media following this night and it grew into something of an obsession for them as for weeks afterwards Arteta’s touchline conduct would be the first thing mentioned to him before and after every game.

The following week and Arsenal were in FA Cup action, travelling away to 3rd tier Oxford United. The Gunners struggled in the first half, the clearest sight of goal coming when a Sambi Lokonga effort was clearly charged down in the box by the arm of an Oxford defender. VAR was not in use for the game, so 4 Arsenal players took their appeals directly to the referee and later received a second FA charge in as many weeks, this time for surrounding a match official. This charge resulted in a £40,000 fine which Arsenal appealed, no doubt because the penalty appeal was no different from the appeals you see multiple times in nearly every Premier League game. The independent Appeal board increased Arsenal’s fine to £60,000. Arsenal finally broke Oxford down in the 63rd minute, when a Vieira free kick found the head of Elneny who made no mistake. An expertly taken brace from Nketiah put Arsenal safely through to the next round, where they would have the unenviable task of travelling to Manchester City.

First though it was back to Premier League action with Arsenal making the short journey to local rivals Tottenham. The day before City had lost their derby away at United, so a chance had opened up for Arsenal to move 8 points clear at the top. However Arsenal had not won away at Spurs since 2014, which was also the last time they’d done the league double over them.  

Arsenal dominated the early goings, barely allowing Spurs a kick. When Spurs did have it, they seemed intent on contributing to their own downfall, as Lloris showed early nerves by making a mess of trying to play out, he eventually somewhat redeemed himself by saving Nketiah’s effort from the resulting chance. The Gunners opener came in the 14th minute when Saka went by Ryan Sessegnon (it was already looking like a long afternoon for the full-back tasked with trying to stop Arsenal’s number 7) and his deflected shot forced another Lloris mistake, as he fumbled the ball over the line for an own goal.

Arsenal were feeling supremely confident and they continued to batter Spurs, going inches away from a second when a viciously struck volley from Partey was denied only by the post, the midfielder coming so close to a goal that would have been even better than his one against them at the Emirates. Arsenal’s second did come though in the 36th minute when Martin Ødegaard, who was enjoying a stunningly good match, beat Lloris with a low drive into the bottom corner from well outside the box. Gary Neville on commentary remarked: “No more than Arsenal deserve. Spurs are playing like little boys out there and Arsenal look the real deal!”  

Arsenal in the 1st half played with a real authority, a side with the confidence bordering on arrogance to go away to their local rivals knowing that if they played as well as they could, Spurs would not be able to live with them. The quality and control Arsenal played with had not been seen to that extent away at Spurs since the days of the Invincibles. Tottenham were notoriously slow starters and were rightfully renowned as a second half team. And in the second half they did pose some real threats to Arsenal’s cleansheet. Spurs halving the deficit would likely have changed the entire complexion, due to how the crowd would then rally behind them.

Noone seemed more acutely aware of this than Aaron Ramsdale who turned out an inspired performance, undoubtedly his best to date in an Arsenal shirt. The pick of his catalogue of saves, came from a Sessegnon effort. Baring down on goal, the full-back looked to beat Arsenal’s number 1 but his reflexes were too sharp as he got an inspired boot to the ball just in time. It had been the perfect game for Arsenal, in the first half they showed their quality with the ball, Ødegaard and Saka in particular being simply too good for Spurs. And in the second half, they showed the other side to them, by living with the pressure Spurs put on them, and standing up to it rather than crumbling. It was also Zinchenko’s finest display so far in an Arsenal shirt, his teammates knew whenever they found him with the ball he would look after it and play the right pass, he was involved in practically all of Arsenal’s best passing moves of which there were numerous. It was little surprise when he went on to pick up Arsenal’s player of the month award for January.

Things turned ugly at the end when a Tottenham fan came over and kicked Ramsdale in the back as he attempted to collect his belongings behind the goal, and the situation threatened to boil over yet further as both sets of players became entangled in a dispute, but this gave way to joyous scenes for Arsenal as they made their way down to the other end of the pitch where their supporters were gathered to celebrate a great win with their fans.

With the January transfer window open there was no question who Arsenal’s top target was. 22-year old Ukrainian winger Mykhailo Mudryk of Shakhtar Donetsk had been linked to the club for many months, and through his open flirting on his social media accounts, it was clear the interest was mutual. However, Arsenal’s negotiations with Shakhtar were painstakingly long, as Arsenal were reluctant to meet the asking price and the Ukrainian club were unwilling to come down with their evaluation. In the end the deal was hijacked by Chelsea, with owner Todd Boehly agreeing on a deal of £62M upfront, with many potential add-ons. £20.5M of the fee was donated by Shakhtar to the Ukrainian military for their war effort, but none of this was now Arsenal’s concern, they’d missed out on their top target and needed to identify an alternative quickly. And they did, in the form of Brighton’s Leandro Trossard, bringing the Belgian to the club for an upfront fee of £21M. The 28-year old went straight into the squad for Arsenal’s next game, a massive home clash with Manchester United.

The visitors struck first when Partey conceded possession in midfield, this proved costly when Rashford moved away from him and into space after putting the ball through his legs, with time and space to shoot he let fly with an unsavable missile into the bottom corner. Arsenal trailed for just seven minutes, finding the equaliser when Xhaka’s floated cross was met by the head of Eddie Nketiah. Before that, Arteta had been booked on the touchline for complaining about a foul on Saka not receiving a yellow card. He was not protesting unusually, so it seems likely the referee had not been unaffected by the constant media noise around Arteta’s behaviour on the side-lines in recent weeks.

The hosts completed the comeback in the 53rd minute when Saka let fly with a special strike from distance. The power and placement was perfect and De Gea was left with no chance. Before the game Saka was informed that he had scored in his last 2 league meetings with United, and only 2 Arsenal players in the Premier League era had ever scored in 3 successive meetings with them. “Challenge accepted.” was his words before the game, and after it he was talking about a goal which he considered the best he’s ever scored. The effort was Arsenal’s goal of the month for January.

However Arsenal’s lead only lasted for 6 minutes, when Ramsdale and Tomiyasu contested the same ball from a corner and in the end got in each other’s way, neither made satisfactory contact and the ball came to Lisandro Martinez, who expertly scooped a header into the Arsenal net. Arsenal vs Manchester United had once been the glamour fixture that put the Premier League on the map worldwide, but in recent years the league had grown whilst at the same time it’s two former star pupils had shrunk into ugly imitations of their former selves, an embarrassing shadow of their past glories. However this 1st vs 3rd meeting was a high quality clash, a reminder of what Arsenal vs Manchester United used to be.

It was finely balanced with Arsenal controlling most of the possession, but United posing a devastating threat on the counter, until Ten Hag blinked first and retreated. He withdrew Eriksen and put on the more defensive Fred, and from that moment it was signalled to everyone that United were happy to leave with a point. This gave Arsenal added impetus to attack United relentlessly and they did for the remainder of the contest. The Gunners winning moment came in the very last of the scheduled 90 minutes. Debutant Trossard fed Zinchenko whose cross was met by Ødegaard. His shot turned into a pass as it was turned home by the outstretched heel of Eddie Nketiah.

The Emirates descended into pandemonium, but it was obvious margins would be tight. Everyone held their breath as they waited to see if first Zinchenko was onside from Trossard’s pass and then if Nketiah was onside when finishing. By the thinnest of margins both players were narrowly onside, and the Emirates erupted for a second time on its confirmation. The win gave them 50 points after 19 games, a club record amount at the half-way stage of the season. Another tough test for Arsenal and they had passed it with flying colours, with 21-year old ‘Starboy’ Saka producing perhaps his best display of the season so far. As well as his goal, he hit the post with an effort from a similar position and ensured his England colleague Luke Shaw had a torrid afternoon at left-back. Back-to-back wins away at rivals Spurs and then at home to Manchester United secured Arteta his third manager of the month award of the season.

The FA Cup then gave Arsenal a break from the high drama of the Premier League, but the fixtures were not getting any easier as it was Manchester City stood in the way of The Gunners progression to the 5th round. A much changed Arsenal side (featuring a full-debut for Trossard) competed well, but in the end lost 1-0. As the January transfer window neared its conclusion, Arsenal hunted for a new centre midfielder, which they desperately needed due to an injury to Elneny and the poor form of Sambi Lokonga who was loaned out to Crystal Palace later in the window.

Top of their list was Brighton midfielder Moises Caicedo, and the deal appeared to be close when the Ecuadorian issued a very public transfer request on his Instagram site. However, once more Arsenal could not agree to the asking price, with Brighton refusing to move from their estimation of the player. In the end Arsenal moved on and instead secured the services of 31-year old Italian midfielder Jorginho from Chelsea, for £12M. The transfer’s reception was lukewarm at best with fans hoping for the younger, more expensive option. But Arteta was a long-time admirer of Jorginho, and there was no doubting he brought plenty of winning experience to a young team. To try and secure their first league title for nearly 20 years, Arsenal had to settle for their Plan B option for both of their two main signings, but it was hoped the extra depth they provided would be enough.

February

Jorginho’s first game as an Arsenal player came away at Goodison Park, in what was also Sean Dyche’s first game in charge of relegation threatened Everton. For close to an hour, both sides were let down by abysmal finishing. Nketiah and Ødegaard wasted two good opportunities, whereas Saka was more unlucky having one cleared off the line. It was an even game however and Everton calved a few good openings of their own, with the finishing touch badly lacking. That was until the hour-mark when Tarkowski directed a header home from a corner. Desperately looking to cling on for a first win in 11, Everton defended doggedly and Arsenal did not have it in them to break down the home sides resistance, suffering their first league defeat since September.

The chance to bounce back came against Brentford at the Emirates, but the better first-half chances went the visitors way. Arsenal only got into half-time level as a result of poor finishing. The hosts punished them for this in the 66th minute when Saka found substitute Trossard across the six-yard box and he made no mistake for his first Arsenal goal. The lead was wiped out just 8 minutes later by Ivan Toney, though only after Norgaard had been offside in the build-up. VAR spent 3 minutes looking as to whether Pinnock was offside and in the end confirmed he wasn’t, though in doing so they failed to take the time to draw the lines on Norgaard, which would have shown if he was on or offside, he was offside and the goal would not have stood. However VAR operator Lee Mason ‘forgot’ to draw the lines on the player who ended up giving the assist for the goal. Days later Mason left his job at PGMOL ‘by mutual consent’. The PGMOL also apologised to Arsenal over the error, with Arteta responding that he would only be satisfied with receiving the 2 points back.

The 2 points Arsenal lost in this game meant that they knew going into their next match at home to Manchester City, that they would lose top spot if they were beaten by the Champions. In the week prior to the match, City had been rocked by 115 charges relating to financial breaches of Premier League rules, in the biggest financial scandal in the competition’s history.

Arsenal would be without Partey for this vital top of the table clash, the key man in midfield not being fit enough to play, meaning Jorginho made his full debut for the club. The hosts appeared to have weathered a good start from City and forced the best chance so far when Nketiah put wide a free header. Arsenal were made to pay for this miss, when an underhit backpass from Tomiyasu found only De Bruyne and with one touch he hit the ball into an empty net. The Gunners responded well to the set-back though, and began to put City under pressure. A clipped ball in behind from Xhaka found Nketiah, his shot was cleared off the line but Ederson was penalised for making contact with the striker and a penalty kick was awarded. Saka kept his considerable cool and sent Ederson the wrong way to level things up.

Arsenal continued to work some good positions in the second half but were continually let down by failing to make the most of their openings, the last bit of quality was not there on this night for them. For City it was and they retook the lead in the 72nd minute through Grealish. 10 minutes later Haaland made the points safe for the visitors when De Bruyne found him in the box. City had just 34% possession against Arsenal, the lowest a Guardiola side has ever managed in a league game. However the number of players they kept in Arsenal’s half often succeeded in keeping Arsenal boxed in and having possession in areas that were not dangerous to City, and were in fact more dangerous to Arsenal, as they looked to pounce on any errors. And as Arsenal’s centre backs tired of having to keep playing perfect passes under pressure, whilst at the same time dealing with the beast that is Erling Haaland, those mistakes in the end were forced, such as when Gabriel cheaply conceded possession with a poor pass out that led City to score their second, as just 3 passes later they’d worked it over to Grealish with the time and space for a first time shot.

Arsenal had now picked up just 1 point from their last 3 matches and had seen their lead of 5 points disappear, they were now behind on goal difference though still with a game in hand. The Gunners next travelled to Villa Park to face ex-manager Unai Emery’s Aston Villa. Things went from bad to worse for Arsenal when they fell behind to an Ollie Watkins goal inside 5 minutes. Things were in danger of unravelling, the magnificent season they looked to be on course to have was on the verge of being thrown away if they could not turn the tide of momentum back in their favour. Arsenal responded in the 16th minute with Saka lashing in a deadly strike on the half-volley. However just past the half-hour mark they were behind again, Coutinho finishing off a clever move. Arsenal were up against it once more, they had one half to turn it around. Nketiah almost levelled it when he hit the bar with a header, but then just past the hour-mark Zinchenko did equalise with a well struck shot from outside the box which fizzed into the bottom corner. The Ukrainian bagged his first Premier League goal and it could scarcely have arrived at a more crucial stage of Arsenal’s season.

Nketiah came close for a second time when Ødegaard put him clean through on goal, he rounded the keeper expertly but could not keep his shot under the bar. The next chance came when Nketiah returned the favour by setting up a big chance for Ødegaard  by squaring the ball and giving him what should have been a simple tap-in. Inexplicably for a player of the Norwegian’s calibre, he dragged his shot wide of the post with the goal gaping. These misses looked costly, and the clock ticked down towards Arsenal going 4 league matches without a win. It could have been worse for them however when Bailey ran clear of the Arsenal defence with a brilliant one-man counter-attack, his shot forced a stunning reaction save from Ramsdale, who was somehow able to tip the Villa man’s shot onto the crossbar and it was cleared away to safety.

Into the 3rd minute of stoppage time, Martinelli had the ball in the Villa penalty area, he opted to set the ball back to the edge of the box for Jorginho, making just his second start for Arsenal in place of the injured Partey. The former Chelsea man had not scored an open play Premier League goal for over 3 years, but his technique from the edge of the D was perfect, Martinez was stretching but never getting there, only the underside of the crossbar denied Jorginho one of the best first goals for Arsenal anyone has ever scored. However, Arsenal were not denied a goal, as the ball ricocheted off the bar onto the back of former Gunners keeper Emi Martinez’s head and into the net.

The game was not won yet however as Villa forced one last corner. Martinez eager to redeem his own goal made his way up into the Arsenal penalty area, the ball was cleared by Saliba to Vieira who carried the ball to the half-way line then slipped in a perfectly weighted ball for Martinelli to run onto. The Brazilian could run the ball into the Villa box then pass it into the empty net to end his six-game goal drought in the Premier League. At half-time Arsenal stared down the barrel of another extremely damaging defeat, but in the end they rescued all 3 points with a second half performance full of character. And It was the unlikeliest of heroes, Jorginho, with the sweet strike responsible for Arsenal’s most vital win of the season so far. Adding to the victories importance, later that afternoon City dropped points away at Nottingham Forest, which put Arsenal 2 points clear at the top with a game in hand.

Arsenal returned to the Midlands the following Saturday to take on Leicester. Trossard appeared to give the league leaders the lead with a sweet strike into the top corner, which goalkeeper Ward could only stand and admire. However, VAR asked referee Craig Pawson to review a potential foul in the build-up from White on goalkeeper Ward, and upon reviewing the monitor, the ref judged that the Arsenal defender held onto one of Ward’s arms as he attempted to jump for the ball. It appeared extremely soft, as Ward did not even appeal until after Trossard’s strike had beaten him.

Moments later Saka had a strong appeal for a penalty, when Leicester defender Souttar slipped and appeared to drag Arsenal’s number 7 down with him. No penalty was the remarkable decision, given that a seemingly softer foul from White in the lead-up to Trossard’s disallowed goal had been judged a foul, yet this wasn’t. So somehow, Arsenal went into the break goalless. They got the perfect start to the second half however, scoring in the first minute when Trossard did brilliantly on the wing to find the run of Martinelli, who took a touch then rolled it beyond the goalkeeper for 1-0. Another Arsenal goal from Saka was later disallowed for offside but in the end The Gunners couldn’t find a second.

Luckily they didn’t need to, as they defended excellently all across the pitch, limiting Leicester to just 1 shot in 90 minutes, that one going wide off the target from distance. Arsenal for the majority of the second half managed the game very well and never looked in real danger of conceding. February had been Arsenal’s most challenging month of the season but they had finished it strongly, Zinchenko was voted the club’s player of the month for a second successive month.

March

Arsenal began March with their game in hand against Everton, which was originally scheduled for way back in September. The hosts went into the game having only won 1 of their last 4 home league games. The opening 39 minutes was difficult for Arsenal, they struggled to find areas to exploit against an Everton side there to frustrate them, beginning with timewasting and game management tactics almost immediately. As half-time neared, Arsenal had not threatened the goal once, until the 40th minute when they finally managed to work an opening. ZInchenko was able to thread a pass into the penalty area to an unmarked Saka. The young man didn’t waste this rare freedom, he took a touch which allowed him to turn and face the goal, his second touch worked space for the shot and with his third he let fly on his weaker right with a shot which was a perfect mix of power and deadly accuracy for 1-0 Arsenal. Saka’s first half work was not yet through however, right on the verge of half-time he picked the pocket of a sleeping Gueye and the ball was taken on by Martinelli who finished past the sprawling Pickford. The offside flag instantly shot up, but on VAR review, it was clear that Martinelli was just onside. In the space of six minutes, Saka and Martinelli had both scored their 10th league goals of the season.

Arsenal were in cruise control for much of the second half, helped by the introduction of Partey at half-time, who was fit again after injury and already looked back to his best. The game was finally put to bed in the 71st minute when a Trossard cut-back was finished by Ødegaard. Everton’s misery was compounded yet further with 10 minutes of normal time remaining, when this time Nketiah squared for Martinelli to get his brace at the near post. There was pressure on Arsenal going into this one, they knew they had to win their game in hand, and avenge their recent defeat at Goodison Park. It had required patience and clinical finishing to break Everton’s resistance, but once Arsenal took the lead they produced an immaculate performance to move 5 clear at the top.

Arsenal looked to secure a second home win in 4 days when they hosted Bournemouth later that week. However they got off to an impossibly bad start when they fell behind to the second fastest Premier League goal of all time, clocked at just 9.11 seconds. It was a ridiculously poor goal for Arsenal to concede, though replays did show that Bournemouth had 2 players clearly in the opposition half before the kick off. However this wasn’t spotted and Arsenal had to try and come back from a goal down. Ramsdale kept the damage to a minimum when he rescued Arsenal with a great save at the end of an impressive Bournemouth counter attack. By half time the hosts had registered 86% possession but still trailed on the scoreboard. Arsenal’s best chance of drawing level in the first half came from a couple of penalty appeals, the strongest being when a missed header from Mepham saw the ball instead clearly come off his arm though on review VAR did not intervene.

The mountain Arsenal had to climb in the second half got bigger when in the 57th minute, lapse marking allowed Senesi a free header from a corner and he doubled Bournemouth’s advantage. 5 minutes later Arsenal halved the deficit through Thomas Partey who was found from the head of substitute Smith-Rowe. On the 70th minute Arsenal got the equaliser, with the timely occurrence of White’s first goal for Arsenal. With Trossard substituted due to injury, and Nketiah also out of the squad with injury, Arteta’s attacking options were limited. However he maximised them by subbing a substitute, taking off Smith-Rowe and introducing Reiss Nelson, who like Smith-Rowe had been sidelined for much of the season with injury. The sub worked immediately as it was his cross that found White at the backpost, and his shot just about went over the line despite the efforts of Neto in goal.

Arsenal pushed desperately for a winner, and had yet more strong appeals for a penalty turned down. A Saka cross was diverted against his own post and then out for a corner by the arm of Stephens, who appeared fortunate to get away with leaning his body into the ball to block its path, with his upper arm making the contact. In the end Arsenal totalled 5 penalty appeals, 4 relating to handball, all of varying but reasonable strength though in the end none were given.

Six minutes of added time was announced and in that sixth minute a dangerous cross-cum-shot by Zinchenko was cleared behind for Arsenal’s 17th corner. Ødegaard’s corner was headed out as far as Reiss-Nelson right on the edge of the box, he chested it, flicked it out of his feet then cut across it to perfection. No arm could get in the way of this one, not even the goalkeepers and Arsenal had won in the 97th minute. It was their 30th shot of the match and the best of them had certainly been saved until last. For a third time in the past 8 games, Arsenal had won with the winning goal scored in the 90th minute or later. This gave them their 20th league win of the season, in their 26th match, with 10 wins from 13 at home, and 10 wins from 13 away.

Following this enormous win, Arsenal returned to European action with a trip to Sporting Lisbon for the 1st leg of their round of 16 tie, with Arteta making six changes from the side that beat Bournemouth. The score was opened though by a man who’d retained his place in the team, with Saliba rising to meet Vieira’s corner to give Arsenal the lead in the 22nd minute. The Gunners lead lasted only 12 minutes though, when confusion in the defence allowed Inacio to equalise from a set-piece. The goal did not cover Arsenal in glory, as they allowed the Sporting man a completely free header in front of goal, with neither goalkeeper Turner or debuting centre-back Jakub Kiwior (signed in January from Spezia) reacting at all.

The home side turned the game on its head in the 55th minute when despite having good numbers around the ball, Arsenal could not prevent Sporting from getting their shot away, and though the shot was initially saved it was Paulinho who got to the ball first, reacting before two Arsenal defenders for a straightforward tap-in. Martinelli almost replied near instantly with a brilliant run from well inside his own half. His pace took him past two Sporting bodies, then he managed to keep his balance past a third defender as he galloped on into Lisbon’s half. He evaded a desperate last man lunge, and then rounded the goalkeeper but his second touch was too heavy and it allowed a Sporting player to slide in and send it out for a corner before Martinelli could do the simple part of passing it into the open goal.

Arsenal’s equaliser did come however in the 62nd minute, though it was significantly less beautiful than Martinelli’s solo effort would have been. Xhaka attempted to find Martinelli but instead the ball took a huge deflection off Morita and went straight into the net for an own goal. This came only a minute after Lisbon had spurned a golden chance to go 3-1 up after wasteful finishing from Paulinho, who should have bagged his second. 2-2 was how the score remained, leaving the tie in the balance ahead of the second leg meeting at The Emirates.

3 days later and Arsenal returned to Premier League action away at Fulham. With Nketiah and Trossard missing from recent games through injury and Jesus back in training but not to that point back in a matchday squad, there was concerns that Arsenal’s attacking numbers would be severely limited for this game. However Arsenal instead got the significant boost of Trossard being fit to start and Jesus being in their playing squad for the first time since November.  Arsenal appeared to take the lead in the 18th minute when Xhaka played a forward pass which looked to find the run of Martinelli, who reached the ball as it arrived in the penalty area, Leno saved his shot only for it to rebound in off Robinson. However on VAR review, Martinelli was just marginally offside as Xhaka played the pass. Fulham remained level for just three minutes more, as this time there could be no complaints as Gabriel met Trossard’s corner to get Arsenal off and running.

5 minutes later and Arsenal’s lead doubled after a 23-pass move in which every outfield player touched the ball. As Arsenal passed it in their own third, Fulham sensed the chance to press them, but a ball out from Saliba to Xhaka saw Arsenal easily bypass them and now Arsenal attacked with 5 against Fulham’s back 4. Xhaka played it to Trossard, who got beyond his man and hung up a cross for Martinelli to meet and with virtually a free header he finished a perfect move off. Right on the verge of half-time Trossard picked out Ødegaard who was able to bring the ball down, then cut inside on his left foot and smash it into the bottom corner. This was Ødegaard’s 10th league goal of the campaign, meaning Arsenal now had 3 players on at least 10 goals, noone else in the league had yet registered two players on double figures. The goal gave Trossard a hattrick of assists, as he became the first player in Premier League history to get 3 assists in a single half away from home. Arsenal’s 3-0 halftime lead did not flatter them in the slightest, it had been a scintillating half of football.

Fulham had not been able to lay a glove on Arsenal in the first half, but they had more threat about them in the second half. They could not however find the goal to give them a glimmer of hope, being denied by both Ramsdale and the crossbar. Arsenal’s threat at the other end did not diminish either though, as confidence brimmed through every player, with every touch oozing self-assurance. On a number of occasions, Arsenal’s quick incisive passing was too much for Fulham, but unlike in the first half the finishing touch was not quite there.

In the 78th minute, Jesus made his long awaited return to action and it was almost the stuff of fairy-tales, as he quickly got himself amongst the action first by flicking the ball with his heel around the corner to Vieira and then latching onto the Portuguese midfielder’s return ball to him. However Jesus could only shoot straight at Leno. It was as if the Brazilian had never been away, as he forced a chance through his own brilliance but failed to cap the move with a goal. It was a sight Arsenal fans had got used to seeing in the first part of the season and now it was back.

Even without the icing on the cake a Jesus goal would have provided, it was an excellent game for everyone connected with Arsenal not least manager Mikel Arteta, who secured his 100th win as club manager. There had been no fatigue from their Thursday evening activities, if anything it had made them even sharper and questions of Trossard and Jesus’ fitness had been passed with flying colours. Jesus had left Arsenal 5 points clear after 14 games, and as he re-entered the pitch 13 games later Arsenal were still 5 points clear. The January addition of Trossard had been key in helping to cover his absence, scoring 1 and assisting 5, and now for the first time both players would be available to Mikel Arteta.

As Arsenal approached the final run-in that would define their season, the Europa League returned for their Round of 16 2nd leg at home to Sporting Lisbon. The fanbase was divided, with some feeling an early exit from Europe and an escape from the demanding Thursday-Sunday weekly schedule that comes with it, the path would be cleared for them to have a straight run at winning the Premier League. Others felt that the prospect of winning an European Trophy was to good to turn down for a club which has had little recent success in lifting European honours. 

Arteta appeared to stand in the second camp, evidenced by him starting 4 of his usual Premier League back 5, with only Ben White planned for a rest. There were rests for Partey, Ødegaard and Saka however, as Gabriel Jesus made his first start since the World Cup. White’s scheduled rest lasted just 9 minutes as he was forced into early action due to a concerning injury to Tomiyasu. 10 minutes later Arsenal scored the game’s opening goal, with a great pass from Jorginho putting Martinelli in behind the Sporting defence, his shot was saved but Xhaka was waiting to turn in the rebound for his first goal since October. A couple of minutes later and Arteta was forced into a second early defensive change, this time with Saliba departing.

Despite trailing Sporting remained well in the contest, coming close on a couple of occasions in the first half as Arsenal too easily allowed them shooting positions. The Portuguese side got on top early in the second half, and the chance of an equaliser grew more likely. Though it seemed unlikely to come from an effort from just inside the Arsenal half. However the pace and technique from Pedro Goncalves was flawless and his effort sailed over the head of Ramsdale. The effort deserved a goal and that’s just what it got, a special goal to draw Sporting level again in the tie. Arteta responded swiftly sending on the big boys, Partey and Saka. Arsenal continued to teeter on the edge of elimination, relying on the face of Ramsdale to block a shot from Edwards as he advanced on goal. 

One thing all Arsenal fans could agree on, whether they were in favour of progressing or going out, was that the one thing nobody wanted was Extra-Time. Of course that’s what they got. The best first-half chance went to Trossard who was denied by a combination of Adan and the post. Arteta’s final substitution was the introduction of Ødegaard in the 101st minute and from that point on, Arsenal did all the attacking with Sporting clinging on for penalties. Their desperation was evidenced by a very late tackle by Ugarte on Saka as he looked to launch an Arsenal counter. The Uruguayan had already been booked and was given his marching orders but with mere minutes remaining it didn’t mean much. 

After 210 minutes, the teams were still locked together at 3-3 on aggregate, so it would mean the first ever Emirates Stadium penalty shootout. Sporting would go first and St. Juste gave Ramsdale no chance. Ødegaard responded for The Gunners, calmy sending Adan the wrong way. Esgaio re-established Sporting’s lead with a powerful kick, before Saka, involved in his first shootout since missing the decisive kick in the Euros final 2 years prior, levelled things up once more. Ramsdale then got so close to saving Inacio’s effort that some Arsenal fans celebrated prematurely, but his contact though a strong one, was not strong enough to keep it out. Trossard restored parity once more, before Ramsdale dived the right way for Arthur Gomes’ effort, but could not prevent it from going in. Martinelli became the first man to miss from the spot, his penalty a poor one, easily placed for Adan to save. Santos had the chance to make it 5 from 5 for Sporting and secure their path into the last 8. He took the chance and Sporting Lisbon had pulled off the upset, knocking Arsenal out of the Europa League. 

With Manchester City competing in the FA Cup Quarter-Finals that weekend, Arsenal were presented with the opportunity to go into the final International Break of the season with an 8-point lead at the top. Stood in their way were Crystal Palace, a team who were without a win in 2023 and who had just parted ways with their manager, former Gunners captain Patrick Vieira. Palace had a good recent record at the Emirates, having not lost at the ground in the previous 4 seasons. They would be hoping for a European hangover for Arsenal, who in turn wanted to quickly move on from their mid-week exploits. They would have to do it without Saliba, his injury meaning for the first time in the Premier League, Arsenal would start without the Saliba-Gabriel centre-back pairing, Rob Holding coming in for his first start of the season.

Palace came very close to taking the lead in the 12th minute, when Zaha did well to escape the attentions of White enough to make room for a shot which looked to find the near corner. He instead hit the near post, and the ball came off Ramsdale and went behind for a corner. It could have been a repeat of Arsenal’s goal against Villa, when the ball went in off the back of Martinez’s head, though luckily for Arsenal in this instance, the ball hit the back of Ramsdale’s legs which were facing away from his goal or else it most certainly would have been an own goal. 

Arsenal probed without being able to find that real incision in the Palace box, until the 28th minute when White beat Zaha to the ball from a Palace clearance, and kept the visitors penned in. He found Saka who put the ball right across the box from right to left all the way out to Martinelli, who controlled it then with a second touch moved it onto his left foot to strike and the shot gave Palace’s 19-year old keeper no chance, the ball was past him and in the net in a flash. The goal brought up Saka’s 10th assist of the season, making him the first player in the Premier League to hit double figures for goals and assists. 

Now they had the lead, Arsenal really began to settle into the game, taking full charge of it and a second goal only looked a matter of time. It came with a couple of first half minutes remaining, the goal again starting on the right side of Arsenal’s attack, with White and Saka linking effectively once more. Saka retrieved the ball and played it to White who returned it to the winger who had found himself some space in the box. He didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger, picking his spot and coolly rolling the ball into the net for 2-0. 

It took just 10 second half minutes for Arsenal to get a 3rd, a sharp move between Zinchenko, Trossard and Xhaka was finished off by the latter for his second goal in a week. With his 6th goal of the season, Xhaka had doubled his tally from his last 3 seasons combined. There was a downside for Arsenal in the 63rd minute, when Schlupp pulled one back from a corner, another corner from which Arsenal had failed to clear the danger, it was becoming a recurring theme. It meant they had failed to keep a home cleansheet for the 6th time in their last 7 matches at the Emirates, a concerning occurrence that Arteta and the team would be desperate to put right in order to increase their tittle hopes. 

There was no problem for Arsenal at the other end though, which they demonstrated by getting their 4th of the game, as Saka bagged a brace with a superb first-time finish from substitute Tierney’s cutback. 4-1 was how the scoreline remained and Arsenal headed into the international break 8 points clear of City, who now had a game in hand. With 10 games to play upon the Premier League’s resumption in April, Arsenal were positioned brilliantly to give themselves a real shot of going all the way and bringing home their first league title for 19 years. 

Arsenal went into the World Cup 5 points clear with 12 wins, 1 draw and just 1 defeat from their opening 14 games. Upon the resumption, they won 10, drew 2 and lost 2 of the following 14 games as we reached the second International Break of the season, this time with a 8 point gap, despite the fact key striker Jesus had not been able to start a single league game in that time, playing less than 40 minutes in the Premier League. 

Arsenal had responded to a blip in March by winning all their Premier League games, and taking their winning run in the league to 6 straight matches, the highest Arteta has managed as coach. He received his 4th manager of the month award that season with Bukayo Saka winning the Premier League player of the month award, the first since the 03/04 campaign that atleast 2 Arsenal players had won the award in the same season.

This International Break gave everyone connected to Arsenal a chance to catch their breath and prepare for the final run-in which would decide the destination of the title, and aswell have the chance to reflect on a few months where Arsenal’s credentials had been severely tested, but they had weathered the storm and come through the other side all the stronger for it. This was thanks to many notable key performers, who we can take this time to assess. 

Arsenal player ratings from Boxing Day- March International Break:

Ramsdale 8.5/10- The 24 year old keeper has been called upon more often in the second part of the season. He made several impressive saves away at Spurs to ensure Arsenal took 3 points home from there for the first time in 9 years. Also made several crucial stops in vital wins over United, Villa and Bournemouth. 

White 8.5/10- A yellow card after struggling in the first half against Rashford when Arsenal hosted United led to his withdrawal at half-time. His form dipped slightly in February, which led to him starting on the bench against City. Quickly re-found top form however, scoring his first Arsenal goal at a vital time to equalise against Bournemouth.

Saliba 8.5/10- Took a while for him to re-gain his pre-World Cup form, as the lack of match practice during the World Cup appeared to give him some rust. As the weeks have past he’s got better and better again and got back to pre-World Cup, when he was the league’s best performing centre-back. A back injury suffered against Sporting Lisbon will now rule him out for some time, how much is unclear, but all connected with Arsenal will hope he’s back on the pitch this season.

Gabriel 9/10- The Brazilian has responded from the disappointment of not being picked for the World Cup, by performing better than ever before for his club. Has been one of Arsenal’s most consistently excellent performers since the World Cup, and a player of vital importance given the way he at times fills two spaces at once, which allows Zinchenko to move infield as he loves to do. 

Holding 6.5/10- Came on for the injured Saliba early in the first half against Sporting Lisbon and due to the severity of the injury kept his place as Arsenal beat Palace 4-1. Holding looked fine, but tougher tests are ahead and there will be questions asked for him, due to his role in Arsenal falling short in the top 4 race the previous season. Came up against Haaland in the 4th round of the FA Cup and adopted a very physical approach that saw him booked and withdrew at half-time. 

Zinchenko 9/10- With Jesus injured, it’s been the other former Manchester City player in Arsenal’s side who has come to the fore for Arsenal, playing with a level of leadership and passion that you’d normally associate with a youth team product. As well as passion, the quality of Zinchenko has aswell been ever present, evidenced by him starting 2023 with back-to-back player of the month awards for his club. 

Tomiyasu & Tierney 7/10- Tomiyasu has appeared in most Arsenal games since the World Cup, usually off the bench and usually proving a reliable understudy. Suffered a bitterly disappointing moment in a rare league start however when an under-hit back pass gave De Bruyne and City a soft opening goal in the top of the table clash. Appeared to have put this behind him however, until yet another injury has left the Japanese right-back requiring surgery that could keep him out for the rest of the season, which is undoubtedly a blow. Due to the form and importance of Zinchenko, Tierney has not played much football and has had to be very patient. When he has got minutes though, he’s been his usual reliable self, and he will hope for more opportunities in Arsenal’s final run-in. 

Partey 9/10- The Ghanaian midfielder was a massive loss to Arsenal when he was unavailable to face City. His availability in the season’s final months will be critical to Arsenal’s chances of the title as they just aren’t quite the same team without him. He’s been in excellent form, standing out as one of the Premier League’s best central midfielders this season, giving Arsenal the kind of strength aswell as silk they haven’t had in the middle since the days of Patrick Vieira.

Xhaka 8.5/10- Like Saliba, Xhaka has taken a while to get back to his pre-World Cup level. At times in matches vs Newcastle and City at the Emirates, he struggled in the final third to deliver with the same confidence he had in the first part of the season. He’s continued to work hard and be a vital part of this Arsenal team however, his professionalism and commitment to doing the dirty work allowing his teammates to shine. His scoring touch aswell seems to have now returned, with goals in back-to-back games just before the International break. 

Jorginho 7.5/10- Jorginho was quickly thrown into the starting 11 due to injury to Partey. The experienced Italian rose to the challenge, with performances that have impressed the sceptics among the Arsenal fanbase, who doubted the move. His shot which resulted in Arsenal’s win at Villa Park was maybe Arsenal’s most important game of the season thus far, it stopped them going 4 without a win in the league and instead set them on a path of 6 straight league wins going into the break. 

Lokonga 4/10- In a rare start he failed to impose himself on the midfield against League One Oxford, and his performance off the bench the following round against City appeared to be something off a last chance which was missed and the young Belgian was shortly afterwards loaned to Crystal Palace. 

Ødegaard 9/10- The Norwegian maestro was fantastic before the World Cup but since the return of club football, it’s become a phenomenal season for him. Not only is he bringing goals, assists and exceptional quality on the ball, he is tenacious out of possession with a level of work rate which pays tribute to his huge desire and fitness levels. 

Vieira 5/10- Improving cameos such as his one at Villa Park where he laid on a brilliant assist for Martinelli, saw Vieira earn a first Premier League start since September. However his progress has again come to a halt, as he continues to blow hot and cold in a difficult first season for the club. Though he can still maintain realistic hopes of coming good at the most vital stage of the season for Arsenal, which is yet to come. 

Saka 9.5/10- Saka was brilliant before the World Cup, he was brilliant at the World Cup, but he’s gone up another level again. Since the Premier League returned on Boxing Day he has only once gone longer than a single game without scoring or assisting, and never more than 2 games. This form has led him to become the first player in the league to notch double figures for goals and assists, which is an excellent achievement for the 21-year old. Knowing the young man’s talent and abilities however, he won’t be satisfied yet, he will be confident of boosting those numbers considerably in the final 10 games.

Martinelli 8.5/10- A six-game goal and assist drought for Martinelli came during a time when Arsenal won just 2 league games, which demonstrates the importance he has to the team. Arsenal need him at his best, but he struggled to form anything like an effective understanding with Nketiah. This led to Martinelli losing his place in the side, but he quickly won it back, after just 1 game in fact and he has since go on to notch 6 goals in his last 6 league games, thanks to a much better partnership with Trossard. 

Reiss Nelson 7/10- The 23-year old has had an inconsistent up and down career to date but he captured the quality he possesses in one moment, when he held his nerve when everyone else in the stadium’s appeared to have gone, when he delivered a 97th minute winner against Bournemouth, which caused undoubtedly the loudest eruption of noise in the stadium’s 17-year history. 

Nketiah 7.5/10- The young English forward scored 4 in his first 5 league games as a starter, including a vital brace against Manchester United which of course featured *that* last minute winner. Afterwards though, the goals did dry up and he lost his place in the side due to his failure to link effectively with Martinelli and Xhaka on the left side of attack in particular. However, Nketiah came in at a crucial time and kept the team’s momentum going in the immediate aftermath of Jesus’ injury and will hope to still have a role to play in the run-in.

Trossard 8/10- Trossard’s mark is only not higher because he’s only started 6 league games, having to leave the field after just 22 minutes in one of them due to injury. However watching Trossard it feels like he’s already started 60 for Arsenal, such is the way he clearly belongs in this team. He has 6 assists in the league since joining Arsenal, which is comfortably more than any other player in the Premier League in that time. He has just the 1 goal, but can consider himself very unlucky his beautiful strike away at Leicester was chalked off for a foul in the build-up. Playing at the level he currently is, he can be confident there will be plenty more opportunities for goals though in the final months.

Arteta 9.5/10- The resilience he has instilled in this young Arsenal team has been evidenced countless time in the past months. Backing up an away win at Spurs with a last minute home winner against United, keeping the belief in the group strong at a time when Arsenal saw their lead disappear as they dropped to 2nd for a few days. The last-minute winners against Aston Villa and Bournemouth in particular have showcased the incredible spirit in the Arsenal camp, and the real belief among the players that they can go all the way. The only real negative has been the defensive injuries to Saliba and Tomiyasu, which came in the Europa League 2nd leg. Knowing how vital they are to Arsenal’s season it was a risk to start Saliba in a competition much less integral to the success of Arsenal’s season just before the final league run-in, and it was a decision that could prove very costly.

[hyperfixated-fan]

Hello, Ninjago fandom, while we impatiently wait for the second half of Crystalized to be released, may I interest you in some good old nostalgic shows with familiar Canadian voice actors to pass the time. Ironically, Sam Vincent (Lloyd’s VA) is in every single one of my suggested shows and in 3 of the 4, he’s got a lead role. XD

Also, I need more people to revive some of these old fandoms! Please hear me out while I info dump! The options get better as we go along since I firmly believe in saving the best for last. I hope you like my long ramble.

First off, we have Slugterra:

This show had a pretty good run with multiple seasons and specials. It’s a good action show and enjoyable for passing the time. I binge watched it while reading through my driver’s training stuff. A solid Saturday morning-esque show.

As far as notable characters and voice actors go, we’ve got:

Eli Shane voiced by Sam Vincent (Lloyd’s VA): he’s the main guy and very comparable to Lloyd since he’s got daddy issues. Poor guy spends forever trying to locate his dad while at the same time filling the role as hero and protector of the Caverns. Also, he’s the reason this show got so many female viewers. Those simps.

Dr. Thaddeus Blakk voiced by Mark Oliver (Garmadon’s VA): he’s the typical big bad villain type. A bit bland but it’s hilarious to listen to if you’re a Ninjago fan because all you end up hearing is Lloyd vs. Garmadon half the time.

Kord Zane voiced by Andrew Francis (Morro’s VA): he’s a troll and the muscle and mechanic of the main group. Not much to say about him. He’s a sweet, protective dude. Also, I just like that he’s got the name Kord Zane since I’m a huge Zane fan.

Trixie Sting voiced by Shannon Chan-Kent (Racer Seven’s VA): she’s neat and seems to be the second in command to Eli. She’s you’re typical strong female character type. Good news is that there’s no annoying trope that she is in love with the main guy though.

Pronto voiced by Lee Tockar (Borg’s VA): he fits the comedic relief trope really well. Unfortunately, he’s borderline annoying for me. I don’t have anything really notable to say about him. You just gotta tolerate him. Occasionally he has his uses.

Junjie voiced by Vincent Tong (Kai’s VA): he’s not a main character but I really love him and the Asian influence the show goes through when he’s around. Cool dude that also has so much trauma packed into him when you think about all he went through. You’ll understand if you watch.

Burpy is the iconic slug of the series. A 10/10 character. Loyal as ever and super adorable. Sassy when he wants to be.

Pros of this show:

Adorable side character slugs with awesome powers

Elemental slugs!!

a whole arc about trying to free a place from an evil emperor (sound familiar?)

Teaches against animal cruelty.

Shadow creatures that for once aren’t evil villains.

So many other familiar side characters with Ninjago VA’s. It’s honestly just fun to see how many familiar voices you can pick out.

Interesting concept, lore, and world building if you dig deep enough and overanalyze everything.

Cool fights and slug shootouts.

Action with a side of found family is always a plus.

Solid team dynamics and brotherly teasing.

A bonus is that there’s very little romance in this show. Very refreshing to see.

Next we have a forgotten classic, Class of the Titans:

This show had two seasons and had a decent ending. It definitely deserved more run time because there really aren’t that many animated shows about Greek Mythology that are kid friendly. A big main crew with a few familiar Ninjago voice actors sprinkled in for the fun of it. Another Saturday morning-esque show but with a better feel of having an overarching plot than Slugterra did in my opinion.

They have so many character tropes that create the whole main crew so I’m going to try to go through them quickly.

Jay voiced by Kirby Morrow (Cole’s VA): the level-headed leader. Very similar to how Cole started out as team leader. Also, it’s just funny for Ninjago fans to see a character named Jay be voiced by Cole’s voice actor.

Theresa voiced by Kelly Sheridan (Gayle Gossip’s VA or better known for playing Barbie): a psychic seer who is Jay’s love interest (reminds me of Barbie and the Nutcracker solely bc of the voice actors). I wish I liked her more, especially since she’s a seer like Zane. Honestly, neither girl characters really stand out to me but they’re nice to have around.

Atlanta voiced by Meghan Black in season one: the action archer girl who has super speed. She’s neat and very strong-willed. (Side note: I find it funny that every main character girl I’ve mentioned so far are all redheads.)

Odie voiced by Doron Bell Jr. (Griffin’s VA): the smart tech guy. He has his uses and sassy moments. It’s also funny to see what was considered high tech back in the mid 2000s.

Herry voiced by Ty Olsson: your typical strong, protective, big brother guy trope. He’s got a really awesome, scrappy grandma.

Neil voiced by Ted Cole: the self-absorbed guy who serves as comedic relief a good portion of the time. Some might find him annoying but he has his high points and is genuinely funny. He’s not a fighter at all and is dubbed “the lucky one.” And boy, is he lucky indeed.

Archie voiced by Sam Vincent (Lloyd’s VA): my personal favorite. He’s an occasional jerk but he’s genuinely an adorkable guy. I relate to his whole “wonky ankle” thing, but he’s a great warrior regardless (and the second fastest on the team? How?). He’s got a huge crush on Atlanta which is amusing and sometimes cringy to watch.

Cronus voiced by David Kaye: the main villain of the show. Typical wicked guy who wants to end the kids who are prophesied to defeat him. I know there’s a good number of simps for him. It’s hilarious how much this god loathes this group of kids but is also genuinely terrified of them, especially Jay.

Pros:

If you’re missing Cole’s voice actor, this is the show to watch.

The entire show is free on YouTube Very imaginative spin on some of the Greek gods like Dionysius to make it kid friendly. And wait til you see Hades.

Still, they aren’t afraid to show the gods can be petty and vengeful.

Greek mythology! What more could you want?

I personally love the way they showcase so many Greek characters and creatures. Is it sometimes off? Yes. Is it still enjoyable to watch? YES!

Interesting battles and solutions.

Will show death and the occasional bloody injury. (Not overtly graphic though so don’t worry.)

The poor kids, similar to Lloyd, are prophecy bound to defeat the evil villain and thus have their lives turned upside to become heroes fighting monsters. Theresa eventually throws a somewhat justified hissy fit over this.

Enjoyable characters and team dynamics. So much sibling teasing between everyone and it’s so relatable to watch.

Also, they’re just teens being teens so they do stupid stuff sometimes and that just makes it all the more fun to watch.

A bonus, there’s two girls on the team rather than your stereotypical one main girl trope.

A big favorite of mine, Storm Hawks:

Oh look, another red head character with green eyes. And he’s the lead character voiced by Sam Vincent! XD Here me out though, this show is actually great. If you can get past the funky character designs and animation, it’s a genuinely fun show. It’s so imaginative and for me, it ticks all the right tropes. I would like to say that if you’re a Ninjago fan, you just might be able to like Storm Hawks. It’s a show that I rewatch again and again and still enjoy it. Fans of it will say it ended to soon with only two seasons and an open conclusion that leaves room for more adventures. I wish there was more. The flow was good and I felt it followed a decent overarching plot with quirky filler episodes thrown in to establish the characters more.

Now as far as main characters go, we have a good mix of interesting ones. Yes, they fall into stereotypical archetypes but for some reason, I really like them:

Aerrow voiced by Sam Vincent (Lloyd’s VA: the young, ambitious Sky Knight of the Storm Hawks. He’s your typical, altruistic hero/leader/chosen one. I love how you can really see how much he cares for his team. He’s got a big legacy to live up to and you know what, he’s absolutely demolishing everyone’s limited expectations of him. This boy survived multiple fights with the supposedly deadliest warrior in the world.

Piper voiced by Chiara Zanni: she’s the intelligent one of the bunch and typically possesses the one brain cell they all share. She’s the navigator, crystal expert, and the second in command. In short, she’s an adorable nerd and my favorite despite having some out of character moments. I also like the little something something she’s got going on with Aerrow. Yes, it’s cliché but it’s open enough that you can interpret it romantically or platonically. And honestly, the way Piper is written, you could almost say she’s bi. But holy cow, that finale with her and Aerrow was everything! Love it.

Junko voiced by Colin Murdock (Ed’s VA aka Jay’s dad): the stereotypical gentle giant type. He’s sweet and strong but constantly doubts his ability because he was bullied. He’s similar to Kord from Slugterra in that he’s got muscle but also serves as the airship’s mechanic. He has a couple of spotlight episodes that do his character justice.

Finn voiced by Matt Hill (Hyper-Sonic’s VA aka that random disco head racer from Prime Empire): on the outside, when paired with Junko, they typically serve as the meat headed comic relief. However, when it comes down to it, Finn is selfless and will make the right choice as episodes have shown. He can get annoying but I highly appreciate that he knows how to buckle down and get a job done and he truly is a great sharpshooter.

Stork voiced by Scott McNeil (VA for many villains in Ninjago): one of the fan favorites for his doom and gloom sort of attitude. He’s the pilot and gives off emo vibes to me. A very relatable character for most pessimists. He’s the oldest of the crew full of kids but he sticks it out through all their wild adventures even if he is completely terrified while trying to survive. Still, he’s got a beserk button so don’t you ever think of touch his precious ship, the Condor. He can and will take out a complete armada.

Radarr voiced by Asaph Fipke: he’s Aerrow’s co-pilot and animal companion of the show. He’s very scrappy and has good intuition. A valuable member of the Storm Hawks. He even gets a couple of his own episodes to shine in.

Now, I gotta mention the villains too since there is a quirky handful of them:

Cyclonis voiced by Lenore Zann: she’s the lead villain and ruler of her kingdom at just 14 years old. She’s very powerful and very intimidating when she wants to be since she’s got a bunch of wacky crystal powers like Piper. I find her interesting just because she’s a young girl who serves as the main big bad villain versus previous shows where it’s a broad-shouldered middle aged guy in a black suit. I wish they showed more on her backstory but a decent villain nonetheless. Comparable to Harumi in that she’s a female kid villain who is deep down broken and lonely and in desperate need of therapy and a friend.

Dark Ace voiced by Sam Vincent (Lloyd’s VA): is the second in command to Cyclonis and is extremely loyal to her. He’s constantly getting beat by Aerrow and can never manage to exterminate him much to his annoyance. It’s hilarious watching their fights because it’s just Sam Vincent alternating between tones. He’s got cool red eyes and I do believe he also has a bit of a following among the female fans.

Ravess voiced by Cathy Weseluck (Patty Keys VA aka that random sales lady): she’s an archer who has a penchant for the violin. I love her leitmotif whenever she comes onscreen. Ambitious but still scared to turn on her 14 year old boss. She does play a helpful role I towards the finale.

Snipe voiced by Colin Murdock (Ed’s VA): he’s the brother of Ravess and serves as the big dumb muscle guy. I don’t really care for him but his sibling interactions with Ravess are funny.

Raptors voiced by a bunch of familiar VAs: I just had to mention this reptilian group because they are reminiscent of the Serpentine from Ninjago.

Pros:

Great side characters and fun episodes.

Good action and adventure vibes

The whole show is free on YouTube.

Again, world building and lore is very imaginative. It deserved a larger budget and more seasons.

Has your typical chosen/prophesied one narrative that we’ve all come to either love or hate.

Crystal magic (kinda like how we’re now on the season Crystalized)

Adorable main cast who all get a chance in the spotlight, and even the annoying ones do have their high points like I mentioned.

Ninjago VA’s are everywhere in this show too. And with the limited voices they have, they really make the most of it but it’s hilarious to see VA’s essentially talking to themselves onscreen.

And once again, there’s top notch team dynamics in this show with good sibling-like interactions between characters. They squabble but still make up and really care for each other’s wellbeing.

Found family trope is in this and it’s great and I’m a sucker for it. It’s heavily implied the three human kid heroes are orphans so there’s that lovely dose of angst I always love.

Something about Aerrow being a leader just hits right. He’s a great one even if he is just 14 years old.

Good balance between high stakes and humor. The main characters are kids and heroes and it shows with all the shenanigans they manage to throw themselves into.

Great finale. Trust me. The show gets better as you continue to watch it and the episodes get less disjointed.

Friends to lovers or just really close friends trope between Aerrow and Piper. I cannot stop gushing about how natural their dynamic feels and how they play off each other’s energy beautifully. They communicate openly and really well with each other. And if romance isn’t your thing, their bond can totally be seen as platonic.

Cyclonis is a curious villain character that is different from your stereotypical guy cartoon villain. I like her and her powers.

Huge bonus that Ninjago has struggled with doing well, love triangles. Storm Hawks has no place for that. In fact, it subverts that trope entirely! Piper does not act all jealous whenever there is another girl character around and this is a huge breath of fresh air from the pettiness many shows contain. Aerrow occasionally acts wary and annoyed when Piper gushes over stuck up guys, but it’s proven justified and he isn’t overprotective or obnoxious about it. Just cautious and comforting when things do go south.

And lastly, this underrated masterpiece, The Deep:

Great news, this show is still ongoing and recently released their 4th season. It’s got a decent overarching narrative of searching for a lost underwater city Lemuria. There are many filler episodes, but trust me, they are fun. Not gonna lie, I’m a huge sucker for any ocean animated shows. This one is just so funny and relatable. It’s got great family dynamics with many familiar Ninjago voice actors. The adventures and creatures are all so cool! It ties myth, mystery, and science all into one great show. The sci-fi fantasy vibe is amazing. But basically, my liking of this show is hugely centered on not just the creativity of it but the strong family dynamics that glues the entire show together. Unlike most shows where parents are absent or there’s only one, this cartoon portrays a lovely married couple and their kids. Seriously, how often does the chosen one/protagonist of the show actually get a decent childhood with loving parents?!

With characters, we have a small main cast with a handful of recurring side characters. This means, you gotta love the main characters:

Antaeus Nekton aka Ant voiced by Vincent Tong (Kai’s VA): he’s the excitable main protagonist child and chosen one of the family. He’s extremely curious and gets into trouble often, but fortunately for him, he’s got an intelligent engineering mind that helps him get out of trouble… most times. Fortunately for him though, he’s got a great family backing him up. I find him to be a likable character as far as protagonists go and good representation of annoying younger siblings.

Fontaine Nekton voiced by Ashleigh Ball (Sally’s VA aka that pink-haired girl from Crystalized): she’s the older sister character. Sometimes she acts as the only voice of reason onboard the ship. I find her extremely relatable. It’s clear that although Ant annoys her, she still very much loves him and will do anything to protect him and that is so wholesome. She’s got a crush on Finn who’s a slick teen pirate voiced by Sam Vincent (Lloyd’s VA) and most of the fandom really loves the flirty dynamic they have. I gotta admit, they are pretty cute together.

William Nekton aka Will voiced by Michael Dobson (VA for many Ninjago side characters): he is the dad and the muscle of the crew. Still, like everyone else, he’s smart. He’s super reasonable and a really great example of a good father and husband. He has his funny moments and craziness too though.

Kaiko Nekton voiced by Kathleen Barr (Misako’s VA): this woman is my personal favorite and I could gush on and on about how totally awesome she is. Unlike Misako, Kaiko is the most awesome mother ever to her kids and is fiercely protective of them. She has a wide skill set from being a submarine pilot, mechanic, and marine biologist. In short, she’s amazing and I’m a huge simp for her.

Jeffrey: he’s the adorable animal sidekick. He’s an intelligent, expressive fish and has helped saved the Nekton family on multiple occasions. Very relatable because he is cookie-motivated. Smarter than your average wannabe pirate.

Nereus voiced by Lee Tockar (Borg’s VA): he’s your typical mystical old dude with a long white beard. Essentially he’s the Wu of this show. Funny but infuriatingly cryptic at times.

Pros:

This show was based off comics so you can go read those. (Kaiko gets an awesome moment in those that I really wish they would have kept in the tv show.)

Vaguely based off the Incredibles.

Non-absent parents who are top notch and actually parent their kids fairly.

Submarines and marine life are always a plus in my book.

Family dynamics are on point. Seriously, this is top notch stuff right here. Also, sibling dynamics are so sweet.

Representation of a good solid marriage. Bonus points because it’s interracial, making their kids mixed. All-round good representation.

Good musical score. (Not as good as Ninjago’s but still pretty good.)

The whole family is smart and super skilled but it shows that they still make mistakes and are flawed humans just like everyone else. Even the parents aren’t shown to be completely infallible and land in their own sticky situations plenty of times and I find that super neat and good of the writers to do.

Great mind-boggling adventures.

The villains are wacky yet endearing sometimes.

There’s villain that is reminiscent of Morro. He’s even got the same voice actor and goes through the same arc of being all jealous of the chosen one.

”Have faith in the fish.” Jeffrey is great animal companion. Who knew you could actually make a fish work as a good character.

Just huge bonus overall with this show because of the solid family representation we’ve got going on here.

Basically, to sum everything up, GO WATCH THESE SHOWS! And let me know if you enjoy them, I would love to hear your thoughts on them.