#just a back study sketch I did while watching the notebook yesterday

[katadastical]

Whatchya lookin at Morgan

Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated however please do not repost, redistribute my art, if you have inquiries please DM!

[gashinabts]

philophobia|(m)

Words: 7.4k

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature

Summary: Taehyung, a man, who swears he’ll never fall in love meets Y/N a hopeless romantic.

Warnings: Teasing, spitting, oral (f/receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing ( lmao idk if thats a thing?), squirting, sexual intercourse, mention of homophobia. Topics of child neglecting, if this makes you uncomfortable pls don’t read :) minor character death

A/N: Taehyung is a bisexual king! Tell me what you peeps think, remember that comments motivate me to continue writing!!! This is my work, no reposting this and my other works on any other platforms.

Kim Taehyung was born December 30, 1995 his father left him when he was 11 years old that is when Taehyung realized that love never lasts. His mother pretended that his father never existed, she quickly hid the family photos away, along with covering his tomato garden with dirt. Taehyung wanted to ask where he went but stopped wondering when he heard a few of his classmates whispering that Taehyung’s dad left them for a young woman in her twenties. 

As Taehyung grew into his teenage years he would often get asked out by his classmates, he wouldn’t decline, accepting the dates to see if he can ever fall foolishly in love like his Mom once did. However, nothing ever happened, he would kiss them goodnight but won’t call them the next day. In high school he lost his virginity at a party, he wasn’t nervous, just did things he’s seen in filthy pornorgraphy. The very next day the girl spread the rumor that Taehyung was a sex god, that he probably had sex everyday with a different people. Was that a compliment? He remembered thinking to himself as he sat in the back of the classroom, feeling people secretly stare at him. 

That day he met Jimin. Jimin was a popular boy that everyone swoon over. Of course he had a girlfriend, they have been dating since middle school. The guys would gawk at her when she would wear a sports bra to track practice. Taehyung was in art class sketching an apple, Jimin came over and talked to him as if they were friends. It was nice, Taehyung listened to Jimin complain about his art. When class was over, Jimin asked Taehyung to hang out with him after school. When Taehyung sat on Jimin’s bed, he looked over on the desk and saw a picture of Jimin and his girlfriend. Right next to it was a picture of what he assumed was Jimin’s family. A Mom, Dad, an older brother, and Jimin. He turned his gaze back to Jimin...who was undressing in front of him. Jimin’s underwear was the only thing on, Taehyung didn’t expect him to have lean muscles and define abs. An hour later  they were both breathless, exhausted from the sex. 

“ I’m not gay.” Jimin tells Taehyung as he cleans himself with a rag. 

“ Okay.” Taehyung shrugs and pulls his pants up. He’s watched gay porn and straight porn before and got turned on by both of them, so it doesn’t come to much of a surprise that he enjoyed the sex with Jimin. 

*******

Taehyung watches from afar when Jimin kisses his girlfriend in the school halls, wondering if that’s love. The next few months, Taehyung and Jimin fool around more. Jimin would call Taehyung over, then they would fuck and they would both be on their way. There were never conversations or pillow talks, until right now.

“ I’m gay.” Jimin confesses to Taehyung. 

“Cool.” Taehyung shrugs, looking for his shoes. 

“ That’s all your gonna say?” Jimin rolls his eyes grabbing his t-shirt wiping the come on his stomach. 

“ I’m bisexual, happy?” Taehyung looks at his phone and notices a missed call from his mother. He tucks his phone away, “ Why are you still with her? Your girlfriend.” He finally asks the question he’s been meaning to ask since the beginning.

“ I love her and I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t love her like that.” Jimin looks at the picture of them and flips it down, almost ashamed of how much of a coward he is. “ Plus my Dad would kill me if I told him I like men.” He throws his head back looking at the ceiling not wanting to cry his eyes out. 

Taehyung thinks love is complicated, he thinks people who are in love are selfish. They rather hurt themselves for the sake of love. It’s stupid he wants to tell Jimin that but he keeps quiet until Jimin looks at him with tears eyes. “ I don’t know what to say…”

“It’s fine...you don’t have to say anything just keep me company, yeah?” 

“ Okay,” Taehyung sits back on the bed watching but not really watching tv with Jimin. 

---

Taehyung’s mom was proud of him when he got accepted to a good college, she would brag to her friends and show pictures of his acceptance letters. Along with bragging how she raised Taehyung all by herself. Taehyung didn’t mind that he was in the spotlight, whatever made his mom happy he would comply with whatever she does. He was good with numbers so he was going to major in data analysis, he really wanted to major in art but his mom laughed in his face, telling him to be realistic. 

Taehyung is now in his third year of college, wanting to just graduate already, done with the shitload of classwork and long ass lectures. Just right now he just finished his homework that took him three hours. He’s about to call it a night until Jungkook barges in his room, yelling at him to get dressed for a party. Taehyung switches his dirty hoodie with a clean hoodie, opting out grey sweatpants with jeans. He keeps his glasses on, due to his eyes being tired and not wanting to irritate them with contacts. 

Jungkook hands Taehyung a drink, there’s obscene music, blunts being handed around, and people grinding on each other. “ When’s the last time you got laid?” Jungkook asked, as he took a gulp of his beer.

“ Last week...I think.” Taehyung searches through his mental sex list, but can’t seem to remember the girls face or name. He looks around and watches a couple argue with each other. The man rolls his eyes as the woman tries not to cry, the woman ends up leaving him and going upstairs.

“ Damn, lucky. I tried to hook up with this girl and she ended up leaving me hanging. Claimed that she’s not over her boyfriend, started crying on me when I was going down on her.” Jungkook cringes, sipping more alcohol. “ Be my wingman, yeah?” 

“ Sure,” Taehyung nods. Jungkook is talking to this pretty girl, and she laughs at every joke that Jungkook makes. Taehyung wasn’t even sure why he asked him to his wingman when Jungkook can easily get a girl to bed. Jungkook nods absentmindedly when Taehyung excuses himself, he wanders around the frat house looking at people getting wasted. Once he gets tired of it he goes upstairs, hoping to find solace in an empty room. He opens a bedroom door, and notices a girl with a pencil and notebook. “ My bad-,” Taehyung is about to close the door.

You look up from your sketchpad, you see a tall man with messy curls and glasses. “ You can stay,” you observe him, he looks like he was forced to come here. There’s no red solo cup in his hand, he looks like he hasn’t a good night's rest. Also why else would he look mindlessly into rooms, the bathroom doors have a handwritten sign stating ‘BATHROOM’, so he must be bored or something searching into bedrooms. “ Or don’t. I don’t care.” You watch him close the door, entering the room.

“ Is this your room?” Taehyung looks around the room, noticing posters of naked women and marvel posters. Weird combination he notes. Along with the dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. 

“ No,” you laugh. Shutting your notebook close, taking notice of his nice hands brushing his hair back. “ My friend’s room. I didn’t really feel like partying just decided to sketch,” you lift your pad up. He nods and sits on the bed.

“ Can I draw?” Taehyung points towards the sketchpad. He hasn’t drawn in months too busy in his schoolwork, his fingers would sometimes draw on foggy windows but nothing more. You nod tearing a piece of paper out and handing him a pencil, he thanks you. 

You were sneakily glancing at him, sketching him, his angular jaw, messing hair, uneven eyelid, long eyelashes. Getting lost at his elegant features, wondering if he knows how beautiful he looks. You shake your head for easily fawning over this man. His hands are even beautiful, they travel across the paper gracefully with each stroke. You turn your eyes away when he makes eye contact with you, cheeks getting warm. “ What’s your name?” You ask while shading the contours of his cheeks.

“ Taehyung.” He folded his paper into a small square, putting it into his pocket. “ Yours?”

“ Y/N,” you smile.

---

“ Did you get laid yesterday night?” Jungkook is shirtless with scratch marks behind his back, there’s a couple of hickies on his neck.

Taehyung takes a sip of his tea before answering, “No, just talking to some girl. Her name is Y/N.” 

“ Y/N. She’s a nice girl. One time I forgot a scantron for class and she gave me one. She’s also friends with Namjoon.” Jungkook pours himself coffee sitting next to Taehyung. “ Are you interested in her?”

Taehyung would be lying if said he wasn’t interested in you. When he entered the room he thought you were pretty and had a kind smile. “ Maybe...why?” 

“ It’s best if you don’t try to get at her. Y/N looks the type to fall in love easily.” Jungkook sighs cracking his back on the back of the chair, groaning at his achy body. Taehyung wonders how can someone fall in love easily, he’s not one to believe in love at first sight or any kind of stuff in that realm. “ Alright, I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can leave.” 

Taehyung and Jungkook are at the library studying or trying to study, Jungkook is texting someone the whole time instead of studying for his macroeconimics test. While Taehyung is playing video games on his phone. “ Hey guys! Didn’t know you actually study Jungkook,” Namjoon jokes, ruffling Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook rolls his eyes pushing his hand off his head mumbling curse words at him. Taehyung looks to the side of Namjoon and notices you laughing as the scene unfolds. You’re carrying ice americanos and Jungkook immediately takes it out of the carrier, thanking you. 

You look at Taehyung placing one in front of him, “ I didn’t know what kind of coffee you liked.” Taehyung is wearing similar clothing to what he wore at the party, mostly muted green colors and his circle glasses, his hair is pushed back with a headband. He looks surprised to see you, but nevertheless thanks you for the coffee. The conversations between Jungkook and Namjoon get more serious when they finally decide to study for their materials. You try to study but you want to talk to Taehyung wanting to get to know him more, you nudge your foot against his leg. He looks up, looking at you in question, you nod your head towards the exit entrance, he nods slowly unsure to what you're up to but following your lead. Jungkook and Namjoon are too invested in their studying to see you and Taehyung leave. “ Do you wanna go to my apartment?”

“ Sure,” Taehyung shrugs. The apartment was small and kind of messy, you try to hurry up and toss some of the paintbrushes in the sink. There’s water cups filled with murky colors, and paint marks on the tables, he’s not used to a sight like this. In his apartment it is always clean and tidy, not a dirty plate in sight. “ You live by yourself?” he asked, placing his stuff on the table. 

“ Yeah, my roommate moved four months ago with her boyfriend.” You give up cleaning the mess since there’s too much to clean. “ Want some-” You are interrupted when you feel Taehyung’s lips on your, your hands push his chest flustered at the sudden kiss.

“ I-I- sorry...I must have read something wrong,” he looks embarrassed immediately backing up giving you space. “ I thought you invited me to your apartment for sex.” Taehyung notices how your eyes widen, fuck he feels like an ass, scared that he made you uncomfortable. “ I should go…” he goes to pick up his bags ready to bolt out.

“ I just wanted to talk...to get to know you better,” you speak before his hands grab the doorknob. “ We can paint and talk, if that's okay with you?” 

“ Are you sure? You don’t want me to leave?” 

“ Stay.” You go to the sink to wash your dirty brushes. 

Taehyung sits down looking at the wall, notices a canvas of a man, he has plump lips, gentle eyes, overall he is beautiful, something that seemed out of this world. Maybe it was the way it was painted that made it appear like that. “ You painted that?” Taehyung speaks shifting his gaze to you.

You look at where Taehyung was pointing at, it was the painting of your ex boyfriend, “ Yeah, that’s my ex boyfriend, Seokjin. The professor told us to paint the definition of love…,” you stare at Seokjin’s face, remembering the memories you shared. The brushes are all cleaned and you set them down, grabbing some water colors that are in the cabinet. 

“ Do you still love him?” Taehyung curiously asked, watching carefully at your reaction.

There’s a slight pain of thinking about him, truly not over his death. “ Yeah I’ll always have love for him…” 

Taehyung wants to ask more about him but doesn’t want to intrude, he doesn’t say anything else but paints. This is when Taehyung feels like he’s truly being himself painting, expressing himself without saying anything. Moments like these wish Taehyung would’ve chosen doing what he has a passion for insteading appealing to his mothers standards. 

“ Why are you a data analysis major?” The artwork he is doing is remarkable, there’s dark undertones and eerie about it but it is beautiful something that you have to keep staring at.

He chuckles, “ Because I need to eat.” You look down feeling a little insulted he must've noticed since he immediately apologizes. 

“ It’s okay. You know if you ever want to relax and paint, you can come here,” you continue painting small flowers. The first time, he smiles and nods his head.

---

5 months later

This is the third flower shop visited and he’s getting more tired with each second. “ This arrangement or this one?” You ask Taehyung, as you hold two bouquets. One was more filled with carnations and the other was filled with lilies. He gives it some thought before pointing at the carnations. “ This would be pretty to paint,” you smell it getting happy inside.

“ Finally, when can we eat...I didn't eat anything this morning,” his stomach growls at the thought of food. He’s still carrying the vases you bought at the thrift shop, you had to plead with you to not buy another antique mirror because he knows he would have to carry it to the apartment.

You gave the cashier the money, as he wraps the flowers in newspaper, turning your head you look at Taehyung, “ Why did you come with me if you were going to complain the whole time?” You laugh at his scrunched nose as you pinch it. The flowers are handed back and you thank the cashier, leaving with Taehyung.

“ Because I wanted to,” Taehyung shrugs. In your apartment he puts the flowers away as you cook him food, he always enjoys your cooking. When he was younger all he ever ate was ramen, never really ate some home cooked meals, his mother was always busy working trying to financially support the family so he never once asked his mom for dinner. Even at his own apartment he doesn’t eat Jungkook’s food since he doesn’t know how to cook either. Sometimes when he’s hungry he’ll just come to your apartment and you’ll be more than happy to cook for him.

When Taehyung enters his apartment Jungkook is watching anime, foot propped on the table and sipping some beer. “ Back from your girlfriends’ so soon?” 

“ Not my girlfriend but yeah, I left my schoolwork here so I had to come back,” he sighs. Taehyung doesn’t get mad when Jungkook teases him about you being his girlfriend, but he sometimes gets annoyed. He likes the friendship between the two of you, it’s different from any other friendships he had in the past. “ Tomorrow night the apartment is mine. This guy wants to hangout with me.”

“ Just say he wants to fuck you,” Jungkook yells as Taehyung closes his bedroom door. 

---

You meet Taehyung at the park with some bread, he hugs you and asks about your day. “ It was okay. Had lunch with my Dad, but it always ends up in some lecture. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m fifteen or something,” you tear a piece of bread throwing it into the pond watching some ducks gobble it. You try to look at Taehyung but it hurts when you see some hickies on his neck. On the day you were about to confess your feelings to Taehyung you asked him if he ever loved someone, he laughed and said that he doesn’t believe in no such thing as love. As much as you wanted to disapprove of that idea, you couldn’t be the one to change it.

He grabs some bread, chucking some pieces out, “ What was the argument?”

You laugh thinking about your Dad’s red face, “ I invited him to my apartment, and he found the blunt we smoked together in the ashtray.”

“ Shit, I should’ve thrown it away,” Taehyung laughs too, pushing some of his hair back. 

“ Just glad he didn’t find any of my sex toys,” you cringe just thinking about it. You feel something tugging the end of your skirt, looking down you see a toddler smiling cheekily pointing at the bread. You smile, “ Here, have fun,” you hand him the rest of your bread. You watch him wobble as he runs to his mother throwing the whole slice in the water. 

“ Sex toys?” Taehyung asked once the child was out of sight. “ Like what?,” Taehyung is interested, he doesn’t know, maybe because he can’t imagine you using them. Or he wants to know how you use it. There were times when Taehyung wanted to have sex with you but he turned those urges off. He doesn’t want to give you mixed signals remembering Jungkook’s words of advice. “ Never-”

“ A dildo, vibrator, hitachi wand, or even my favorite pillow,” you trail off not thinking much until you realize who you are confessing to. “ I-I uh…”

“ How often?,” Taehyung asked quietly, not wanting any other people hearing the conversation. He shouldn’t get turned on but he is.

Something about Taehyung’s deep quiet voice is making you squeeze your thighs, “ Every night…” You're still looking at the pond, watching the ripples that are caused by the ducks swimming away. You can feel Taehyung's stare but you ignore it. The conversation switches to another topic when you talk about your school work. The sun sets and you both part ways.

The sound of tea kettle wakes you up from your concentration of you sketching, sighing you pour yourself the tea. Looking at your art, you turn it over not wanting to see Taehyung’s face right now. But fate has different plans when you hear knocking on the door, Taehyung appears, he lets himself in and is close to your face.

“ Taehyung?” You’re puzzled at his frazzled state, deeply staring into your eyes. 

“ Can I kiss you?” The words are quiet but firm. Stupidly you nod, not caring about any consequences. His hands cup your face, immediately going into the kiss. The kisses get deeper, his hands travel to your hips bringing you closer to him quickly, you lose friction from the fluffy socks you're wearing causing you to slip, immediately grabbing Taehyung as you fall backwards. His hands are quick to save himself from not falling onto you. There’s a slight pain on your tailbone but is immediately forgotten when Taehyung goes back to kissing you.

The big t-shirt you are wearing is tossed, his hands immediately fondle your breast, his lips leaving kisses on your neck, groaning as he pushes his bulge against your clothed core. “ Taehyung...let me touch you,” you moan when he bites your neck. He pulls back, pecking your lips before taking off his clothes. Your hands trail against his chest, his stomach, towards his pelvic, trying to remember every part of him. He is surprised to have you touching him like he was some marvel statue, usually his past hookups just rush into the sex. It’s very intimate and he doesn’t know how to feel about it.

 Taehyung groans when you touch his dick, he’s hard and wants to be inside of you already. He comes down kissing you, his hands get rid of your panties, fingers spreading your wetness. The moans you let out are turning him on even more, he stretches you out with his fingers. He likes the way your eyes flutter, the shape of your lips tremble, along with your chest inhaling and exhaling deeply. “ You are so pretty,” he doesn’t mean to say it loudly but he does. There’s a blush that blooms on your cheeks, it reminds him of the flowers you would get to study paint.

“ Taehyung,” you moan slightly flustered at his compliment. He reaches for his pants grabbing a condom. “ You don’t want to go to the bedroom?” The floor is still cold against your back, and the last time you cleaned the floor was days ago. 

Taehyung shakes head, already putting on the condom not wanting to waste time, “ Too far,” he smiles when you laugh. He enters you feeling you clench tightly around, he moans digging his head into your neck. “ You are so tight,” he groans. “ Feels so fucking good, having you like this,” he confesses.

You moan loudly, his thick cock streching “ Oh fuck, Taehyung, please just fuck me,” your hands go to his waist urging him to move. He listens to your command, thrusting slowly trying to get deep as he can. Maybe if you can close your eyes you can pretend that he’s in love with you. He goes faster and cries at the pace he’s going, the pleasure is overwhelming, something that you can’t get with your own hands. “ I’m close already,” your hand goes to tug at his wavy hair.

“ Me too,” his voice is deeper. His hand travels down to your pussy searching for your clit and rubbing it. “ Come for me,” he says into your ear. You moan his name loudly, cumming around his cock, scratching his back. The sight of you creaming around him makes him immediately come, he searches for your lips, moaning your name in the kiss. The two of you lay in the afterglow of the sex, panting loudly his body is barely being hold up, and you laying on the hard floor.

Taehyung gets up throwing his condom away, he looks at you still laying on the floor with your eyes close, the realization of him having sex with you just popped up. He hurriedly gets dressed, then helps you get dressed, he gets shocked when you kiss him as a thank you. The next morning Taehyung wakes up early, making sure to leave quietly, not wanting to disrupt your sleep.

---

You weren’t going to lie, it kind of hurt not waking up beside Taehyung but you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. Namjoon invites you to a kick back, only inviting a few people to his house to chill and drink. You take solace on the couch, watching people get high and drunk, you weren’t in the mood to do either so you make conversation with a slightly high Hoseok. He’s in mid-discussion about Shrek being a cinematic masterpiece, when Jungkook yells from the door entrance that he has Taco Bell. Taehyung is beside him wearing all black beanie, crewneck, and sweatpants, but still looks better than half of the people here.

 You turn your gaze back to Hoseok who’s left walking towards Jungkook immediately grabbing a taco. Sighing you decide to get fresh air, staring at the tall dark buildings. “ Whatcha you doing here by yourself? It’s fucking freezing,” Taehyung speaks out closing the slider door standing by you. He takes off his vape pen inhaling it.

“ Wanted fresh air,” you shrug, still staring at the buildings. “ Hoseok left me for tacos. He was onto something, saying that Shrek is a masterpiece. Who knows maybe he’ll write his thesis about it.” Taehyung chuckles, he keeps looking at you and you finally stare at him. “ Why’d you kiss me yesterday?”

He blows out the smoke, and puts his pen away, “ Cuz I wanted to,” he shrugs not thinking much about it. 

“ Nothing else?” You arch your eyebrow.

He continues to stare into your eyes “ Nope,” he shakes his head.  

Some part of you wanted him to say that he had feelings for you but in the back of your mind you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You smile pushing his chest, “ Well that’s the last time we are ever going to do anything like that.” The both of you know that is a lie.

---

For the next couple of months you and Taehyung continue sleeping with each other.

When you are studying with Namjoon in the library, Jungkook and Taehyung spontaneously show up, causing Namjoon to groan. “ You know you love me,” Jungkook jokingly says sitting next to him. 

Taehyung sits down next to you, looking at your classwork, “ How long have you been studying,” he whispers. 

You turn to look at the time of your phone, “ Like four hours,” you sigh. He hands you a jolly rancher, you immediately put in your mouth. “ Why are you here? You texted me that you were going to take a fat ass nap?”

“ I wanted to see you, kind of missed you,” he lays his head against the table. His eyes close when you brush his soft hair. 

“ I’ll be done in forty minutes.” He lets off a quiet okay continuing to look at you doing your work. 

Taehyung wakes up to you caressing his cheek, his neck is in pain from the awkward position he slept in. “ Where did Jungkook and Namjoon go?,” he looks at the empty seats. He tries to crack his neck and watches you pack your stuff.

“ They left about twenty minutes ago,” you get up stretching your legs. “ Let’s head home. We still have left over pizza,” you groan at the pain on your lower back. 

For some odd reason Taehyung liked hearing you say home, there’s some comfort it gives him but he never says it out loud. Taehyung grabs your backpack, holding it for you as you walk towards your car. You look in the fridge for the pizza, but Taehyung has other plans when he closes the fridge door, pinning you against it kissing you feverishly, his tongue already begging for entrance. Laughing you push him away, “ What’s gotten into you?”

“ I told you...I miss you,” his hands are on your waist. He kisses you again, picking you up easily and placing you on the kitchen table. He takes off your pants and panties, and you reach for his pants but he stops you forcing you to lie completely on the table. “ Look at you, laying so pretty on the table,” he bends down kissing you on your lips before he goes down on you. 

He licks your cunt, gently prodding his tongue up and down. Your hips move frantically wanting to feel more of him. His rough hands pin your hips, and he continues with his teasing, lightly kissing your clit before touring you with his slow pace.  “ Look at your pussy, it looks like the roses you painted yesterday…,” his finger goes up and down your folds.

The words make your cheeks grow hot, “ No it doesn’t,” you get shy shaking your head. The embarrassment fills your body, for maybe shamelessly liking his compliment. You are probably never going to look at roses the same way ever again.

“ Yeah, it does Y/N, but your pussy is more pretty,” he continues to tease you. Wanting to see you get more flustered, he likes it when you do it gets him more turned on. “ I wonder if it smells like roses too,” he’s about to smell your pussy but you hold his head. He watches you cutely shake your head. 

Taehyung is filthy but it makes you get even more aroused. “ It won’t,” you whisper, wanting to cry but he shakes his kissing the inside of your thigh to try to comfort you. 

He smells your pussy and he groans, your heart thumps faster and nervous for what's about to say, “ It smells better,” he kisses your clit. His tongue keeps tracing your folds gently wanting to make you beg for more. The movement of his tongue makes you want to pull your own hair out. The pleasure is barely there but it grows within each second of his tongue flicking up and down.

“ Taehyung,” you let out desperate whine, “ please, I need more.” One of his hands slap your cunt, and your back arches surprise but even more turned on. You never knew that you were into that. The sting hurts at first but shoots up ecstasy after a nanosecond, you can’t help but seek more. “ More!” 

Taehyung lets out a dark chuckle, he gives you another slap, slightly harder on the center of your clit, the stinging making your face scrunch up but letting out a lewd moan. He groans at your wetness seeping out some of it landing on the table.

Suddenly, he is done with all the teasing, and dives in, nose touching your clit and tongue inside your entrance going in and out. Finding it extremely hot that you are riding his face, like the pillow on your bed. Taehyung vividly remembers when you showed him how you ride your pillow last week. The way you desperately let out cute whines trying so hard to relieve yourself as Taehyung only watched, wanting to see you get off without his help. 

He moves his face side to side so his nose can rub your clit. Head in the clouds, your body is floating with ecstasy wanting to stay in it forever. Your hands reach down trying to anchor yourself, Taehyung reaches for your hand holding it tight. You cry out his name loudly, coming intensely, your eyes are shut when it doesn’t seem to stop. Your body finally calms down, looking down you see Taehyung’s face is completely wet. “ Oh my god, did I-

“ Fuck, that was hot,” Taehyung wipes his face with the back his arm. He kisses your lips, he helps you from the table, handing you your panties. 

“ Let me repay you?,” you tug at his belt loop, you look down to see the bulge is gone and there’s a wet stain. Your eyes widen, “ Did you come?”

“ Yeah, you squirting on me, made me bust a nut. I swore I never came that hard either,” he sighs happily. Laughing you go towards the fridge, finally eating the cold pizza. You hand him one and he eats it in two bites. “ My mom called me today…”

Taehyung hardly talks about his family, you only know that he was raised only by his mother. He never talked bad about her but you can tell that they didn’t have a close  relationship. “ What happened?” You and Taehyung move so you're sitting on the couch.

“ She told me that my father wanted to meet up with me,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “ Told her that I don’t want to. She started crying and telling me that he’s my father...I sometimes think she’s still in love with him. She’s an idiot.” He lays his back staring at the ceiling.

“ Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone that you once loved. The one you shared your laughs, arguments, touches, memories...vanish into thin air... or you could hold onto it. Love isn’t easy...it’s messy, it’s confusing but it’s beautiful being able to share it with someone. Don’t you think?” You look at Taehyung’s side profile.

Taehyung turns his head looking at you, “ I don’t know...I will never fall in love. I don’t want to end up like my parents,” he closes his eyes.

“ Taehyung-“

He opens his eyes smiling, grabbing your hands, “ Let’s head to bed,” already over the conversation. 

---

Jungkook is cooking breakfast and almost burns his hand when a random girl walks out of Taehyung’s room. Immediately she exits their apartment, doing the walk of shame. Taehyung walks out shirtless with hickies on his chest and dishevelled hair. Jungkook clears his throat, “ Thought you were seeing Y/N,” he turns off the stove.

Taehyung grabs a glass of water, “ We are just friends,” he takes several gulps.

Jungkook scoffs rolling his eyes at his friend’s stupidity, “ Yeah, friends who have sex, hold hands, and almost spend every night together. My bad I forgot they changed the definition of ‘friends’ in the Webster dictionary.”

“ Whatever man...I'm out of here,” Taehyung leaves the kitchen going to his room. He looks at himself in the mirror, disgusted at his appearance, at the splotchy marks on his neck. Why am I like this? Taehyung leaves his apartment ignoring Jungkook, entering your apartment with his set of keys. He looks at you cooking pancakes, you look at him quickly and smiling.

“ Hey...you want some? It’s your favorite banana pancakes,” you flip the pancake. He looks at the big stack of pancakes you have on the table, you continue with the last couple of pancakes and sit down taking a couple of bites. You are consumed by the taste, not really focusing on Taehyung until he clears his throat, looking at him you notice marks on his neck. Your heart plummets, you thought the whole time the two of you have been messing around he wasn’t seeing anyone else. “ You hooked up with someone else yesterday?,” you set your utensils down.

Taehyung nods trying to look nonchalant, “ Yeah, is that a problem?” 

“ No,” you try to lie to yourself but it’s no use, your face looks the opposite of how you feel, disheartening, you can’t save face even if your life's on the line. Swallowing hard you shake your head, “ Actually, yes. It is a problem,” you sigh. “ I don’t understand you. You treat me like a lover, but then you do things like this…” you get up from the kitchen table tossing the plates in the sink, not caring that you didn’t finish the meal, “ I open my heart with you but you don’t do the same. I feel used in this relationship or whatever the hell this is,” your hands clenched tightly as you turn around and face Taehyung.

He’s now by the kitchen counter standing up, “ I told you I’m not looking for love. I’m sorry if I gave you mixed feelings but I don’t want this to end whatever we have with each other. I like how things are-”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words, “ Well I don’t...if you want to fuck around then do it... I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore.” The angry tears stream down your face, your hands wipe them before he could, “ Go Taehyung. I wish you the best,” his face is etched with subtle pain, turning away from him you wash the dishes not bothering to look at the sound of him leaving.

---

Three days later

Taehyung hasn’t been sleeping well, tossing and turning, giving up completely and decides to study all night long. This has been a daily occurrence since the fight with you. I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore. Taehyung groans, wanting to get the image of you out of his brain. Jungkook knocks on his door, eyes widening at the sight of him, “ You look like shit, c’mon Namjoon is having another get together.”

When Taehyung shows up to the party he watches you have a conversation with Hoseok, from a far distant, unsure how you would react if you saw him. Taehyung waits till Hoseok leaves, walking towards you as you are on your phone texting someone. He watches you jolt as he calls your name. “ Hey,” you greet him but there’s no smile or warmth like you usually greet. And he hates it, it makes him feel like a stranger.

“ About the last time, I’m sorry that we got into an argument,” Taehyung apologizes, he tucks his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he developed when he was elementary. 

“ Ok,” you nod your head, not wanting to discuss something so private in a social setting. “ I should get going, I got a research paper to go over,” you give him one last glance and leave, not saying goodbye to anyone else.

Taehyung doesn’t like the way your back faces him, leaving him all alone with a place full of people. He pushes against people not wanting to let you go so easily, he wants to talk to you, he wants to hear you talk. He wants to lay in your bed and listen to your heart beat while you stroke his hair, letting him fall asleep in your arms. You're opening your car door, and you halt when he calls your name, you wait patiently for what he’s going to say. Please stay.  “ I-I uh...I wish you the best, Y/N” Taehyung says. He watches you give him one last small smile and drive away. 

---

Six months later

Taehyung hates visiting his mother, there’s always something unsettling when he enters his childhood home. As soon as greets his mother she comments about his weight, his slightly long wavy hair, and baggy clothes. She doesn’t ask him college, she never does. Instead he listens to her talk about her work. “ I told your father that you're in town,” she says over the sound of the faucet. Taehyung nods, handing her the dirty dishes, “ I told him you are free tomorrow, you are going to visit him at IHOP,” she leaves no room for argument. 

The sun wakes up Taehyung before his alarm does, he doesn’t really put in effort to look nice but when his mother gives him a look, he changes into something more appropriate. Maybe if Taehyung was in middle school he would be nervous meeting his father but now that he’s an adult he couldn’t care less. It takes him a while to find his father, he looks older from his adolescent years, has a few gray hairs and slightly wrinkled skin. His father stands up, and Taehyung immediately holds his hand out giving him a handshake not wanting to receive an awkward hug. His father looks surprised but compiles, awkwardly laughing and sits down taking a gulp of his hot black coffee. “ I ordered your favorite,” his father points to the triple drizzle chocolate milkshake with a red cherry on top that is set in front of Taehyung. “ How are you kiddo? You look so grown up, your mother has been feeding you well, huh?”

“ Yup.” Taehyung looks at the red cherry. 

There’s too much uncomfortable tension, and his father is letting more awkward coughs to try to fill the silence. “ Almost done with college, yeah? Just three more months, and you gotta face the real world,” his father comments.

Taehyung has been facing the real world since he was a teenager, he worked when he was in highschool to pay for college, he cooked his own dinner because his mother always came home late, he didn’t need to graduate college to find out the world was shitty. “ Yeah.”

His father tries really hard to have some sort of conversation with his son.“ You still like to paint?”

Taehyung smiles, getting reminded of you. He wonders what you are doing right now, if you are painting the canvas he bought you when you guys were friends. “ No. I mean yeah, sorta. I painted with this girl, she made me fall back in love with painting but I did something horrible to her. Now I can’t paint without thinking about her,” he sighs. 

There’s surprise etched on his father’s face, since more than a word came out of his son’s mouth. “ Seems like a very important person to you. You should talk things out with her, don’t want to lose someone like that.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “ Why? You did the same thing to us.”

“ Taehyung-”

“ You really fucked me up father, I hate that you and mom made me this way. I want to love her but I’m scared...what if she ends up leaving me like you did. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have someone steal a part of me,” Taehyung grits his teeth.

“ I-I I’m sorry Taehyung...I really am. I hate myself everyday for not visiting you, I should’ve been there for you...Your mother and I once loved each other but sometimes people fall out of love, but that doesn’t mean love is evil. Don’t give up on love because of our failed marriage, son, you deserve to be in love.”

---

One week later

“ Fuck, watch where you going asshole,” you yell at the asshole who wasn’t paying attention that made you drop all of your art supplies. He doesn’t even bother apologizing, just continues to walk with his friends. You pick up your pencils, someone helps you pick up your other materials. “ Thank-” you stop midway when your eyes are met with Taehyung. He hands you the sketchpads, you quickly put it in your bag, “ Thanks.”

“ No problem. You just got out of class?,” he asked intently looking at you.

His hair is pushed back by his headband, showing his forehead, he’s wearing his usual baggy grandpa clothes. It makes your heart flutter, but you quickly push the feeling away. “ Yeah, but I have to go back to pick up my two pieces,” you shrug. 

“ You need a hand?” He offers with a careful smile.

You contemplate, you don’t want to make two trips, “ If you’re not busy…”

He eagerly shakes his head. “ I’m not, let me help.” Taehyung follows you to the art room, and picks up the pieces easily despite it being large canvases. There’s silence when you are done putting it in your car. 

“ Thank you,” you give him a grateful smile. “ Do you need to ride home?”

Taehyung took his car to campus but he lies, he accepts your offer in hopes that you guys can talk things over. The radio is on low, and Taehyung is almost near his apartment, “ I lied I don’t need a ride,” he starts off and you let out a surprise laugh.

“ Why are you just telling me now?,” you are about two minutes from the destination. 

“ I wanted to talk to you about what happened to us-”

You sigh, not wanting to reopen bandage wounds on your heart, “ Taehyung, I’m over it-” 

His head turns to face you, “ I love you. I think I always loved you since we became friends. I was scared to tell you because it was something so new for me...I was selfish, I thought that everything we had was fine but I never took your feelings into consideration.” He’s breathing really hard because he finally confessed his heart out, something he vowed he’ll never do since he was a child. 

“ Why? Why now?,” you swallow hard, not looking at him but only the road. Scared that if you look into his eyes, you’ll get lost into them. 

“ It took me a while to come in terms with how I am feeling. Because love is messy right?,” his voice cracks.

The car is now parked in his driveway, “ Yeah, it is.” Turning to finally face him, he has little tears in his eyes that haven’t fallen. “ I still love you, Taehyung,” your hand touches his soft cheek, caressing it. Taehyung leans closer to you and you close your eyes expecting a kiss, instead he sobs against your neck. Feeling wet tears against your neck, you try to coddle him but the tight space in the car is not giving you any room to do so. “ Tae, why are you crying?,” you comb the back of his curls.

Taehyung pulls away giving you a tearful smile, “ Because for the first time in my life I know what love is.”

end.

[alixdelcourt]

Hello hello againnn, tysm for yesterday’s request, I love your writing!<3 I have a new idea I just thought of, tamaki + mha guys/girls (of your choice and if you write fruity fics too) with a reader who draws a lot? And maybe they get caught or they see a sketch of them? If it isn’t so much to ask for- ty!!!

MHA boys x reader who draws a lot

Some fluff and sweetness to brighten your day (I hope so)

Ft : Tamaki, Izuku and Denki

(First pic credits : Peachimis on TikTok)

It’s a beautiful day. The weather is fine: clear blue sky and warm sun. You and Tamaki are strolling in a parc, admiring the nature around and the ambient calm. Your boyfriend carries a wicker basket for you, holding your lunch and stuff in. When you two got hungry, you just settle under a big tree, unwrapping a blanket and having lunch in the branches’ shade. This was the kind of perfect dates that makes you so in love with Tamaki. He’s quiet, and like peaceful time, just like you. Birds of a feather flock together, isn’t it ?

Tamaki’s reading, comfortably leaning against the trunk, and you are scribbling some sketches in your sketchbook. Drawing is a passion, and you can’t help but try to picture whatever’s near you. This sketchbook is your private garden, and Tamaki respects it. He never presses you to show him what you had drawn, he just knows that if you want to, you would come up to him, asking for his opinion about it.

And today, you want to show him the picture of a cute bird who was perched just above your head. You wanted to know if it’s resembling to the model or not. You need an outside look.

“Tamaki ?”

He raised his nose from his book to look at you.

“Yes, (y/n) ?”

“Could you take a look at something ?”

“Of course, honey”

You hand you sketchbook to him, but when he took it from you, a wind blow turned the pages, loosing the small bird’s sketch. And Tamaki came face to face with… himself. It was him, on the drawing. His purple hair, his elf ears, his thin hands… But he was pictured as an angel. It was… really well done, and absolutely lovely.

You quickly shut and take back your sketchbook, brick red colored cheeks. But it was too late. He saw it. And he was hard blushing as well. You were embarrassed. You felt obligated to apologize:

“ I am sorry… Just forget about this… You should never have seen that. It’s bum, anyway… I am sor-”

You can’t continue, because Tamaki arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you to his embrace. He’s still blushing, and can’t hold your gaze, but he wasn’t mad. Not at all. He was softly smiling, burying his nose in your hair. This drawing was the most precious confession you made for him. Even if it wasn’t on purpose.

“It’s not bum. It’s perfect. I love it.”

And before you could add anything else,

“I love you, (y/n).”

Izuku Midoriya is sick again, and stuck in the infirmary. He had a hard time training when he did push too much on himself, and he needs to rest for a few days. You went to check on him with some friends, and poor baby was so anxious about skipping school and having trouble caching up what he missed.

You have a huge crush on Izuku, and in order to help him, and maybe score some points to him, you decided to take double notes in class, writing down in a new notebook, just like those used by Izuku himself. You’ll give to him after school, so you’re not obliged to lend him your messy notes, and he’ll be able to catch up studying in the infirmary. It was a bit hard to order and organize your note taking, but you want it to be well presented for him.

You struggle at the beginning, but get used quickly to write faster in order to double note on your book and his. Even Aizawa noticed and asked what were you doing. He lowkey congrats you for your “team spirit”. You did it all day long, in every class. You can be pride of yourself, it was a great idea.

But you didn’t notice. You didn’t pay attention to your bad habits. You’re an airhead, having trouble concentrating, and you need to focus your mind on something and keep your hands busy with some repetitive moves. Like fold and unfold the corner of the pages, clicking your pen, or just randomly scribbling on your pages’ edges. Little doodles that you don’t even look at. Oblivious drawings of what’s in your head.

Shiny smiling on, you head to the infirmary immediately after the bell ringing. Recovery Girl let you visit Izuku, who was better than yesterday.

“Izuku-kun ! How are you today ? Better ?”

“Yes, thank you for caring, (y/n)”

You took the notebook out of your bag, and give it to him. His name was beautifully calligraphed on it. He blushed a bit, looking at you for some explanations.

“I did this for you ! So you can study like us, even if you are not taking classes. It’s yours, you can keep it ! But since you’re not coming back tomorrow, Recovery Girl told me, I’ll come in the morning to get it back and to take note for you again. Does it sound okay for you ?”

After long minutes of embarrassed and grateful thanks from Izuku, you left him alone to study and rest.

The next day, as promised, you picked his notebook from his nightstand, since he was asleep, and nearly arrived late to your class. You sit at your desk and prepare yourself to take notes. When you open Izuku’s notebook, a fold paper drops from it. Your name was on it, so you unfold it. You freeze, eyes and mouth wide open, skin turning to a scarlet tone. Matching the redness of the heart that was drawn on the paper. A big bright red heart. With Izuku signature. A few moments later, still red, you have to concentrate if you don’t want to miss what Ectoplasm was explaining. Mathematics always give you headache, so you need to concentrate. It was then that you noticed what Izuku probably noticed as well. Little sketches of him. Everywhere. Him in his hero costume, in his school uniform, in school sportswear, smiling, winking, sticking his tongue out, with random little stars and tiny hearts everywhere.

RIP you. And RIP him as well. He wasn’t asleep this morning, he was all flustered and shy. Was your sketches some kind of flirting ? Even if he likes you as well, he just doesn’t know how to deal with this. But nor do you. Poor crushing babies. Good luck.

Denki is playful. No doubt on that. He’s such a flirt with everyone. It’s his personality. He can’t help it. But when he is in love, it gets worse. You won’t say that he was embarrassing you, but you were confused every  time he smiles or winks at you when you two are in class. In the dorms, he would randomly touch your hair, compliment your food, want to sit next to you on the couch… More than with the other girls. You like all those small attentions, but it makes you feel… insecure. Maybe paranoid. Definitely awkward. He gets flirtier and flirtier every day. Like he was waiting for something. But what ?

He was waiting for you to fall in love, and maybe confess to him afterwards. Even if it seems strange, he’s too shy to do it himself. Everyone is used to him being a tease, but how would you react if he started being romantic ? He’s afraid that you may reject him. Poor baby, don’t please, you would break his heart.

But he’s done waiting. You divert all his attention, he can’t think about anything else than you. So he decided to do something. He’ll let you know about his feelings, but not directly , so you none of you would be embarrassed if it doesn’t work. If you don’t like him, you will just ignore it, and he will be fixed. At least, he has to give it a try.

So, an evening, while everyone was in the common space of the dorm, he sneaked in your room, with a little chocolate box and a letter. A long letter explaining everything. His feelings, the fact that he can’t face you and would die collapsing if he ever tries to, and that you’re not obliged to answer. His heart was speed racing in his chest, and it nearly stopped when he noticed your desk board. There was plenty of little drawings pinned on it, from memo’s notes to random papers full of sketches.

Dozens of little Pikachus staring and smiling at him, or at everyone who would sit on the chair. So you. You were surrounded by drawings of the little electric mouse. He approached in order to ogle the details, and he saw it. Some mention of his name. Little “Denki” written here and there. He imagined you, daydreaming and nibbling the tip of your pencil, like you do in class or when you study, and thinking of him. This thought filled him with the courage he was lacking to tell you about his feelings. He just dropped what he was holding, before running to the common space. No time to waste. He already waited too long.

You were sitting on a high stool near the counter, chatting with others and watching Bakugou cooking. Like everyone, you turned your head when you heard quick footsteps arriving. Why was Denki running ?

“(Y/N) !”

You raised an eyebrow, and before you could answer, he pressed his lips against yours and kissed you with all the love he feels towards you. You don’t remember what happened next because your mind just… stopped working.

“What was that for ?”

“The pikachus”

Mina and Denki voices brought you back, before fainting again when you heard the word Pikachu.

_________________________________________

Heeeere :) Hope you'll enjoy it. Let me know if you want me to change or to fix anything, and feel free to request anything else.

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

I'm Yours

Pairing: Kirishima x reader

Warnings: There's kissing. A lot of kissing. Just some teenagers being dumb really. No canon characters were harmed in the making of this fic. I didn't include a cheating aspect since I don't write for that kind of stuff, but there's still some jealous!Kirishima here >:3

Author's Note:

Uhhhh I kinda forgot to make this fluffy . . . .

Thanks to uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwi from Wattpad for requesting! (that's a really fun username hehe)

Enjoy!

-Sugar

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══════ ≪ .·:·.♡.·:·. ≫ ══════

Swamped.

That was the only way he could describe it. Kirishima didn’t think he’d ever been so busy, and he wasn’t the only one.

Finals had the entirety of the hero course stressed, especially the second-years like himself. Between training, doing homework, and going to class, there wasn’t exactly room for being social. Any time he was able to hang out with his friends, they were studying together. Nothing he'd really describe as 'fun'. And that’s what had him feeling the worst about all this.

He’d started dating you a few weeks ago—going on three months now, actually. Things had been going well between the two of you. You liked him and he really liked you, so to him, there hadn't been any type of problem.

Even so, there was something a little unique about your relationship: no one knew about it. You yourself were never one for letting others get too involved in your business. And besides, you also knew the nature of most high school relationships. Maybe you’d announce yourselves as a couple and make a big fuss only to grow tired of the other and end it all within the first month. But clearly, that hadn’t happened.

There was a strange thrill to keeping your relationship a secret; a novelty your boyfriend hadn't expected. Though he wasn’t much for dishonesty, Kirishima practically lived for the stolen glances across the classroom you’d share, and the way he’d sneak you behind the school for impromptu makeout sessions with no one ever the wiser. You were his little secret, and he was yours.

Until it had all come to a grinding halt with the extra schoolwork.

He still tried to make time to spend with you in one of your dorm rooms, but the both of you finally had to admit to yourselves that neither of you could get any work or studying done when you were alone together. And so it was back to study groups; holding hands under the table as either Bakugou or Yaoyorozu went over the newest batch of hero laws that needed to be memorized.

God, how he wished this could all be over. Kirishima just wanted things to be normal again. When was the last time he’d even seen you? He could remember watching the back of your head duck out of the classroom at the end of the day, but after? . . . Nothing.

He frowned at the physics worksheet laid before him, mind wandering to thoughts of you as one of his sharp teeth sunk into the eraser at the end of his pencil. Kirishima supposed he should go check on you later, once he’d finished up his assignments for the evening.

…

“Did you see (L/N) yesterday?”

Kirishima’s ears unconsciously perked up at the sound of your name. He stood with his tray in the lunch line directly behind some of his female classmates. They were chatting amongst themselves as they slowly stepped forward. Kirishima wasn’t generally one to listen in on conversations he wasn’t a part of, but now they’d captured his interest. Had one of them seen him sneaking into your room?

“No, I didn’t,” Uraraka said in response to Ashido. “Is she alright?”

“Of course she is,” the pink-haired girl said, rolling her abnormal black and amber eyes as she reached for a clementine. “Actually, she may be doing more than alright.”

Kirishima swallowed. Uh-oh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jirou asked, sounding largely uninterested in gossiping about her fellow classmate.

“Well,” Ashido began, bouncing a little on her toes, “I saw her on the tech floor yesterday and you won’t believe who she was talking to.”

“Who?” Jirou asked dryly, probably hoping to get the discussion over with as quickly as possible.

“Kobayashi Tatsuo. The third year,” Mina announced proudly.

The redhead behind them quietly sighed. Thank goodness. They still didn't know.

“And?” Uraraka questioned.

“They were totally flirting!” Ashido said. “(L/N)’s bagged a cute upperclassman boy! They’ll be dating soon, I just know it! If they aren’t already.” She smugly leveled her shoulders, grinning with an odd look of satisfaction.

What?

“I guess that’s good for her,” Jirou commented, picking up her tray from the lunch bar in order to follow her friends to a table.

“I know, right?” Mina said excitedly as they walked off. “And he’s totally cute too! I wish a hot guy would pay attention to me for once.”

Kirishima watched them leave, almost forgetting to grab lunch for himself after being so absorbed in what they were saying.

The majority of him knew he shouldn’t pay any mind to it. This sort of thing was bound to happen. Of course his peers try to figure out who was involved with who, even if it wasn’t really accurate or from the most credible source. The girls didn’t know that you were already taken by someone else, in fact, the very person behind them in line.

At least now he knew where you’d gone after class yesterday . . . but why? What were you doing on the tech floor? And who was this third year you were talking to?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Kaminari’s voice. Kirishima returned the greeting, sliding into his seat next to his friend. As he settled into the atmosphere of his usual table, he couldn’t help but scan the cafeteria for your face, just as he had done every day, even before you were dating.

But for the first time, his search came up empty. You were nowhere to be seen.

…

Kobayashi wasn’t exactly the person you wanted to be spending your lunch with.

Really, a part of you wondered why you had to skip going to the cafeteria at all today. But then you remembered the stack of work that sat on your desk. It stubbornly refused to ever shrink, no matter what you did. Recently, it felt like as soon as you got one thing done, two more assignments would find their way right back at the bottom. And this was just another one you had to deal with.

While reviewing your materials for your upcoming finals, you’d begun to take note of other heroes’ costumes and support items. Particularly, you’d taken interest in a hero from Ukraine who’d debuted a few decades ago. Your quirk was wildly similar to his and you couldn’t help but further research his techniques, costume, and gadgets that enhanced his abilities.

You weren’t one to copy. Actually, you quite liked the way your current costume functioned and looked, with its own unique style of your own. Even so, you’d read things about him and his quirk that you honestly hadn’t even thought of for yourself, and you’d begun to make a special section in your notebook for improvements to your hero ensemble. Was it the best use of your time? Perhaps not, but you did have a practical exam coming up, and a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if these improvements you were sketching might make all the difference in your performance . . . .

You decided you could use an upgrade. Which is exactly why you went to the second-year in the support course who was in charge of making adjustments to your costume. Until your hopes were immediately dashed when you found out he was sick. Determined, you went to the next best option: Kobayashi.

He was a nice enough boy. Tall, witty, and a whole year older. You hadn’t expected to be spending so much time with him over the past week, but for whatever reason, he kept calling you back to his workspace in the shop for ‘daily check-ins’. At least he was making good progress.

But now you were spending your lunch hour eating with him. It felt strange, being alone in a different classroom with the guy—not an uncomfortable strange, merely “I’m not used to being here”. You’d let him borrow your notebook full of sketches for your costume, and that’s what he was going over with you now.

He’d ask you for clarification on one of your notes before jotting something down of his own right next to your handwriting. He had also been eager to show you his process, explaining the steps of what he was doing while you ate from your bento.

To be honest, it was kind of nice being in a different setting. Kobayashi was fun to listen to; it was clear he was passionate about what he was doing.

But still, he ran out of things to talk about. That was, when it came to your hero suit. Figuring it was too late to go back to the cafeteria anyway, he ate his own lunch with you, striking up a new conversation.

At first, you didn’t pay any mind to it. But then you began to take notice of how close he sat. Then you realized how eager he was to make you laugh, how smoothly the casual chatter flowed between you. And then it struck you just how much he peppered in compliments to you. Finally, it clicked.

Uh-oh.

You refused to meet his gaze when he waved you off after the bell rang. Dashing away, you wondered how serious he might be. Did he actually like you? No, perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

Then again, he had been being awfully nice to you ever since you’d met. But what if that was just how he was? Kaminari could be like that at times, and you knew he didn’t usually mean anything too serious behind it. Or—well—perhaps Denki the Flirt was a bad example for your case. Still . . . how were you supposed to make it clear to Kobayashi that you weren’t interested?

You shook your head to clear it of these thoughts. He hadn’t actually done anything, so what was the point of worrying about it? You were loyal to Eijirou, you knew that. You’d made a commitment to him just as he had to you, and that was all there was to it. No matter what, you’d continue whatever it was you had with him. Kobayashi wasn’t an issue you should be losing sleep over. Besides, you were probably reading too far into things anyway.

Content with the conclusions you’d made, you walked back into your homeroom class for fifth period. Settling into your seat, you faced the chalkboard in front of you, awaiting the return of Aizawa-sensei, unaware of the pair of ruby eyes fixed on your back.

…

Kirishima shot up from his desk the moment he heard a soft knock on his door. As soon as he opened up his room, you came barreling into his arms. “Hey!” he greeted you, reciprocating the hug.

“Study break!” you announced quietly, not wanting to alert his neighbors of your presence.

He tittered happily to himself, leading your bodies back to his desk where he could sit you on his lap in his chair. Settling comfortably on his thighs, you were quick to slot your lips against his. Kirishima melted into your touch.

How many days had it been since he’d last gotten a chance to kiss you? Two? Three? Either way, it had been far too long.

“Shall we take this to the bed?” he joked after a few minutes of kissing.

You chuckled at his harmless allusion. “You know I’m going to fall asleep as soon as I lay down.”

He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, concern morphing his features. “Have you been getting enough rest with all this going on?”

“No,” you admitted. “I was up last night with my English flashcards. I swear Present Mic is trying to kill me with this new vocab, it’s like I can’t get it in my head at all.”

“I could help you study it,” your boyfriend offered, his hands resting lightly on your waist.

“That would be productive,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes. “What was it last time? ‘If I get a set right, I’ll get a kiss’ and then next thing I know, we’re making out on your bed for twenty minutes.”

He grinned up at you coyly. “At least I made studying fun.”

“That wasn’t studying!” you protested with a grin. “Speaking of, my timer’s going to go off soon—” you pressed your lips against his for a moment, “—and I want more kisses.”

Kirishima let you have your way with him, threading your fingers through his hair while you savored the taste of his lips. But there was something still nagging at the back of his mind.

“(Y/N)?” he asked when your phone buzzed and you pulled away. “Where were you during lunch today?”

You shrugged, pulling your phone out of your pocket to silence it. “I’m getting improvements on my hero costume. My regular guy got sick so I’m working with this third-year dude.”

“Ohhh.” Kirishima’s worries dissipated almost instantly. “So that’s why you were on the tech floor.”

Confused, you frowned. “Did you see me there or something?”

“Oh, sorry! I just overheard Ashido saying that she saw you down there.” He laughed. “She thought you were flirting with him or something and that you were going to end up dating.”

“Ah, well,” you mumbled, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not but he, um, actually might have been flirting with me.”

Kirishima’s smile dropped, his arms subconsciously squeezing you tighter to him. “What?”

“I only noticed it today—it totally could be nothing—but I think he’s caught feelings? I mean, why else would he ask me to have lunch with him like this? Not to mention how he was smiling at me, and looking at me, and touching my hand—” You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from saying anything else. Maybe this was more serious than you realized.

Your boyfriend was silent, staring at the floor below you with a troubled expression. His ruby eyes traced over the rectangular patterns on his floor, seemingly lost in thought.

“You know that nothing’s going to happen,” you attempted to reassure him, lifting his chin with one of your fingers so he could look into your eyes. “Those feelings aren’t reciprocated and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already picked you, Eijirou. There’s no one out there like you.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead, sealing your statements, not only to him but to yourself. “We’ll sort this out. If I have to tell Kobayashi I’m taken, then so be it. Maybe keeping our relationship a secret isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.”

When you pulled back, you noticed that there was still a pout on Eijirou’s face.

“Aw, what is it?” you asked, tucking one of his fallen sticky spikes back under his bandana.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, pulling you even closer to him.

“Talk to me, baby.” You ran a hand down his back.

“I don’t like the thought of him being around you,” he confessed into your shoulder. “I . . . don’t want him smiling at you like that, or touching you, or letting people think that you belong with him. You’re . . . mine.” He paused before laughing dryly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. That sounded . . . totally selfish of me and probably not very manly at all—”

“No,” you said simply. “It’s actually kinda hot.”

He pulled back to look at you, perhaps to see if you were joking. Your expression was intrigued, maybe a little flustered. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed. “I . . . like when you call me yours. It’s cute. And besides, it’s okay that you feel that way. Feelings don’t have to make sense. I'm frustrated about this too.” Pecking his lips a final few times, you regretfully stood from his chair. “I wish there was something more I could do right now, but I should get going. I promised Tsu and Uraraka I’d meet up with them. We can talk about this later.”

“See you, (Y/N),” Kirishima said.

You smiled and waved, turning to the door and checking to see if anyone was in the hall before slipping back out. Kirishima watched you go, wondering what he should do.

Kirishima hadn’t even met the guy and he already hated him. Sure, Kobayashi wasn’t aware you were taken, and he had every right to show interest in you, but that was supposed to be Eijirou. It was Kirishima’s job to flirt with you and be there for you and sweep you off your feet. Your classmates should be shipping you with him, not this random guy from another year.

The redhead sighed. He shouldn’t let himself get so caught up in this. He knew you were capable of sorting this out on your own, and if you really needed him, Kirishima would help you. He couldn’t start getting whiny like some kind of child.

Besides, your friends could think whatever they wanted. It couldn’t affect your relationship. They were just high school kids. They didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Despite the fact he was trying to get back into focusing on his work, Kirishima’s mind couldn’t help but wander. Maybe once exams were over you could finally announce that the two of you were together. Then you wouldn’t have to sneak around so much anymore. He could hug you whenever he wanted, and you could sit on his lap during movie night. He’d be able to kiss you in front of his friends, no problem. Maybe, just to see the look on his face, he’d kiss you in front of—

No, no. Japanese Literature. That was what he was supposed to be thinking about right now. The sooner he finished his work, the sooner he’d be able to see you again.

…

Finally it was Saturday afternoon, and you knew you had an entire day to take things a little easier tomorrow. Maybe you’d even try to take the evening off and spend some time with your boyfriend. But of course, you had to meet with Kobayashi about your hero costume first. Hopefully it would be quick, and perhaps even the last time.

You walked down to the tech floor, heading straight for the workshop. You needed your suit for the practical exam next week, so you hoped he was ready for you.

Peeking into the room, you spotted him putting something into a very familiar case.

“Oh, are you finished?” you asked, walking in.

“Yeah,” he said brightly. “You’re all set, (L/N).”

“Thanks,” you said.

“Here,” he popped the little box open, showing off the finalized improvements he’d done and the changes he’d made that you’d spoken about together. He walked you through everything and you listened politely, asking the occasional question. Even with the newfound bitter taste in your mouth at being around him, you had to admit he'd done a spectacular job.

“That should be everything,” you said, ready to go. “Thanks for working with me.”

“No problem.”

Satisfied, you began to walk away.

“Wait, (L/N).”

Apprehensive, you stopped, turning back to him. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering,” he began, bashful, “if you’d like to grab lunch with me sometime.”

You frowned, apologetic. “I can’t, Kobayashi senpai.”

“Why not?” He looked hurt.

You winced. “I’m already involved with someone else.”

“You’re just ‘involved’?” he asked dubiously, the expression on his face changing. “Please give me a chance. I can see that you feel something for me too. Whoever you’re with, I could be better.”

“I’m not interested,” you said firmly, any momentary sympathy you might have felt evaporating. “Goodbye, Kobayashi.”

He let you go, watching as you walked stiffly out of the classroom. As soon as you rounded the doorway, you felt something grab you. Gasping, you startled, but you were quick to register a familiar head of red hair. You saw Kirishima put a finger to his lips, pulling you further down the hall and towards the empty stairwell for some privacy.

He pushed you up against a blue-gray wall, grinning at you with hooded eyes.

“Eiji, what—?”

“I heard the whole thing,” he murmured, leaning in and capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “I thought that guy might make a move on you so I followed you down here. You held your own.” He kissed you again; this one longer, his tongue sneaking its way into your mouth. “You’re really mine, aren’t you?” he murmured against your lips, a stubborn trace of hesitancy still present and quavering in his voice.

“Of course I am, Eiji,” you whispered, touching your forehead to his. “I’m yours.”

He surged against you again, kissing you hungrily and pinning you even harder against the solid surface behind you.

You gasped against his force, eyebrows drawing together as you struggled to keep up. “Ei—” you tried. “Not here, let’s go someplace else.”

“Who cares?” he murmured, uninterested in stopping.

“Me. I don’t want to get caught by a teacher or a random fifteen-year-old. We could get in trouble.”

Kirishima sighed, finally drawing back for a moment to meet your eyes. “Okay, fine. But we’re going straight to my room, right?”

You snorted. “Where else do you think I want to be?”

He smirked, taking your hand again. “Good answer.”

Kirishima briskly walked you back to the dorms, his hand migrating ever lower down your back. It wasn’t long before he was sitting you on his lap in his bed, mouth once again connecting with yours right where it belonged.

You weren’t sure he’d ever kissed you like this before, in all the time you’d been together. His passion blazed before you, unrelenting as your teeth and tongues crashed together. He nipped at your lips until they flushed and swelled, and you knew they’d be noticeably bruised by morning but neither of you stopped. He kept going, trailing more kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jaw, and all the way down your neck only to return right back to your parted lips whispering his name.

Kirishima’s room had never felt so hot and stuffy, even as he pulled off his uniform jacket and helped you out of yours. His cheeks burned red as his eyes, so caught up in what he was doing, the only thoughts his mind was still capable of having were simply You.

It went by in a haze. He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d lowered you onto his pillow, or how long he’d been hovering over you and caging you in with his arms as he cherished you.

But he knew one thing. His love for you wasn’t something he could hide anymore. No, he’d never let anyone think they stood a chance with you again while he was around.

One day soon, he would kiss you good morning at breakfast. One day, you’d hold hands in the halls on the way to class. One day, he’d pull you in close after school, slinging an arm around your hips just so he always knew you were there at his side.

But he was happy to be here with you now. He was happy to be your secret. He was happy, even as his kisses began to soften and slow, content with the way your body melded against his as he laid himself at your side and hugged you closer. All that mattered was that you were here with him now, and he was yours.

And you were his.

══════ ≪ .·:·.♡.·:·. ≫ ══════

Taglist: @aahilovetheatre @basicalyrandom @bumbyslair @f0leysgurl @hyunmin-1404 @kqtsukii @nabo39 @pyrofanatic​ @rainy-skys-and-bright-stars @sendhelpimstupid @ure-a-sunflower @xoxopam4​

[shoichee]

Hello! Can I perhaps ask for no. 28. “Make me” from your prompt list for my beloved Imayoshi? It's so nice seeing him here on your theme and avatar and that pERFECT url, it feels like I finally found my people.

HELLO HELLO, and YES I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT NO ONE TOOK THIS URL... considering that it was just an alternative spelling of shoichi and its a rlly short handle too mwehe // im sort of a particular person when it comes to how something looks, whether itd be outfits, drawings, coloring, and the UI of a blog, u name it.... i may have spent hours trying to have the perfect colors for this theme PLEASEEEE, but without further ado here is our man, our little shit, Imayoshi

@knb-kreations howdy! another new work posted here!

Imayoshi x Reader

28. “Make me”

Word Count: 2331

prompt list here

»»—————　☼　—————««

Imayoshi doesn’t exactly know how he feels about you.

Scratch that, he does know. He’s quite amused at the shenanigans you pull on others around you, and a lot of times, you actually elicit a few dry laughs out of the guy. Other times though, he’d wish that you would just shut the fuck up, especially when all he hears amidst his studying was your loud “whispering” and “hushed” jokes. How you were always nearby no matter where he is was still a mystery that he casually ponders about from time to time. Perhaps your natural tendency to project your voice creates the illusion that you were near when you really weren’t?

No matter, such trivial thoughts can’t occupy his mind when college entrance exams loom closer. Then again, they weren’t particularly difficult; they were simply a hassle to secure near-perfect scores, especially when his chances of admittance rely critically on how well he does.

“That’s an awful drawing of a samurai,” Susa comments, snapping Imayoshi out of idle thought.

“Ho? Is it really terrible if you were able to tell what it is?” Imayoshi chuckles. “The point of a drawing is to convey the right idea or emotion. It seems that my drawing skills hit a bulls-eye with this sketch, no?” He playfully spins his pencil around, patiently waiting for his reply to goad him.

All Susa does in response is to roll his eyes before he turns his full attention back to his notes. He knows better than to try a comeback against Imayoshi, who can easily make it backfire against the person with a pleasant close-eyed smile. Imayoshi, seeing Susa’s nonverbal resign from engaging further banter, also looks down back to his book of scribbled notes and chicken-scratch drawings before he exhales an inaudible sigh.

School just doesn’t cut out to be mentally stimulating for him. It’s a little too repetitive and mundane for his taste.

“Argh!! Oh no!” your voice rang out, despite your poor attempt to be reasonably quiet. “I forgot applications for the Coca-Cola scholarship are due today!”

Coca-Cola… what?

Everyone looks up to warily eye you, and your few friends, who are currently rushing to pull you down and slap their hands over your mouth to mute you, were panicking at the new attention you managed to garner. Even still, your mind seems more fixated on whatever was on the laptop’s screen, rather than what they were doing to you.

Imayoshi can’t help but stifle his audible mirth from how you manage to change the mood of the entire library within seconds.

“How do you even forget something as important as a huge scholarship like that?” Susa says in dismay. “Makes me kind of wonder how (l/n) would handle life after graduation, to be honest.”

“Well,” Imayoshi begins. “I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s best not to underestimate (l/n)-san. Surely we’ve learned our lesson with Seirin?” He toys with the pencil grip before he sporadically draws some lines loosely resembling another sketch.

“Drawing again?” Susa raises a brow. “Have you even been studying?”

“Well,” he replies. “There’s still plenty of time before exams—months to be exact. Could you even study with the current distractions in here?” At his own words, he nudges his chin in your direction.

“It’s not just any exams though, it’s—”

“Whether they have more importance or not doesn’t really concern me. After all, standardized testing isn’t worth stressing out for when we’ve taken essentially the same thing all our lives.”

“What most are worried about is the content inside the exams, Imayoshi,” he said, carefully treading into dangerous waters with Imayoshi’s tendency to take all replies as mind-game challenges for his own amusement.

“‘If you have been paying attention consistently throughout the year, you wouldn’t be having much trouble…’ that’s what you once oh-so-wisely said to Wakamatsu yesterday, hmm?” His mimicking tone drips a hint of arrogance. “Unless you mean to tell me my ears do not work? But by all means, please feel free to correct me.”

“That’s different,” he sighed, his face clearly evident that he was done with Imayoshi’s shit. “That exam only tested content for the past year, not your entire academic repertoire over the courses of middle and high school.”

“I’d like to think that the logic still applies the same way.”

“Well,” Susa heaves with a languid stretch. “You generally score better on the exams than me, so you’re probably right. Still, don’t neglect your studying.”

“Right, right, Susa-senpai~”

“... Please don’t call me that again.”

“... If you say so,” he said, but his smile blatantly showed his real intentions of never stopping his irritable quips. Susa gets ready to pack up his book bag before he heads out the door with a friendly wave. Imayoshi half-heartedly returns the gesture with a casual wave of his own. He immediately notices you also packed up and about to leave with a worried frown, and of course, while audibly mumbling your concerns and makeshift schedules to accommodate time for last-minute essay writing. By now, all of your friends have left for home.

“Ah, biology lab due next week, kanji worksheets due tomorrow, hmm, um, how would I finish this on time… ah, calculus test is tomorrow too, ah shit… should I ask someone to tutor?—ah, but it’s super last minute, and there’s still that scholarship… argh, fuck!” Your voice peaked in volume at the end, and the librarian immediately shot daggers at you.

“Shhhhh!”

“A-Ah! S-Sorry, sorry!”

Imayoshi was watching you with his chin on his arm propped up on the desk, unable to control the smile that escaped his lips. You really were entertaining to watch, and you never cease to bore him.

He turns away to crack his neck and roll it around before methodically packing up his writing utensils and notebooks. Soft shuffling filled the air as he rearranged the items inside his bag. As he turns to pack the last thing on the table, which happened to be the notebook filled with his idle doodling, his face slightly softens at the drawing he did after the samurai. Yes, the one Susa chastised him for when he could’ve been studying. Yes, perhaps he was right when he was terrible at drawing after all; your panicked face and wild hand gestures didn’t really translate well into paper, and it looked a little too much like a horror comic and less than a sketch of you. Still, he’s oddly proud of it.

Imayoshi promptly pushes the chair in and leaves the library, but when he rounds the corner of the adjacent hallway, he bumps into you.

“Er—hi! I mean, please, uhhh… if it isn’t too much to ask—canyoupleasetutormeforthecalculustesttomorrowbecausemyfinalgradedependsonthat?”

Imayoshi winces at the sheer volume of your voice and plugs his ears in out of habit to block out some of the decibels. Wakamatsu was eerily similar to you in that regard. Only difference between the two of you was that you were deceptively intelligent. Extremely so.

“My, my, if it isn’t (l/n)-senpai!” He fakes a surprised look, earning him an eye roll on your end. “You need someone like me to teach you the works?”

“I—what? We’re literally in the same calc class, Imayoshi,” you retort. “Besides, drop the ‘senpai’ honorific. It feels so slimy when you say it so disingenuously… Aren’t we both 3rd years too?”

“I’m so hurt,” he mocks. “What if I was really genuine with you?”

“Look, right now, no remarks from you, Evil Glasses,” you say. “It’s really, really urgent and I don’t know how to grasp the material for the class lately, plus my essay, ugh…” You rub your fingers against your temples in an attempt to make the stressful headaches disappear while Imayoshi simply watches with his eyes slightly open.

“... You usually do well on all your exams, no? Unless my eyes and memory fail me.” It was true; even though you were as loud-mouthed as Wakamatsu, you would often shock a lot of people when your name always appeared in the higher percentiles of exam results. Apparently most students and teachers associate your rowdy personality with an expected subpar academic performance. He has you to thank for when your score reports always cause reactions of utter disbelief from the teachers. You really do liven up the school and make it a lot more unorthodox.

“I guess…” you mumble. “But I really wanna do especially well for this one because math is my weakest subject, and you always score the highest for these types of exams, so…”

“It may be my best subject,” he says, leaning slightly closer to your face. “But I’m not the one with the highest scores in any math subjects throughout these years, and we both know that quite well, don’t we, (l/n)? Why don’t you come clean about the real reason why you’re here?”

“Oh my literal fuck—Imayoshi, you’re one of the best students in calc right now regardless of exam results,” you petulantly huffed, not backing down from his intimidation. Imayoshi notes your cheeks reddening, and he figured it was either because of the close proximity between your faces or the fact you were frustrated… perhaps both. “And you’re the only one around here on campus who I could ask!”

“Really now,” he chimes, moving closer to whisper in your ear. “Are you sure?” With incoherent stammers, you backed away from him, slapping your hands against both of your ears to protect them.

“W-W-What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Looks like I won this one, (l/n)-san,” he purrs, relishing the fact that only he could render you this quiet. “Ho? What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

“I—Shut up!” you lamely shoot back. “You can just say no if you really don’t wanna do this—urgh, I’m leaving, I’m not gonna waste any more time—”

“How hurtful,” he dryly remarks, standing up straight again after leaning for a quite a while. “It’s almost as if you’re rejecting me~” He knew you would always take his bait and quip back (unlike Susa), regardless of whether or not you tell him that you weren’t going to engage further.

“As if,” you snorted, making another exaggerated eye roll. “You’re the last person who would ever be hurt from this.”

“Dear me!” he exclaims. “Have you ever considered that perhaps I don’t help out people for free? Did you think I would be a gracious, selfless person who would help you like a saint?”

“Okay, fine! Perhaps I didn’t think that far ahead, okay? You just were the first person that came to mind, and I thought asking you wouldn’t hurt.” His smirk widens almost maliciously at your words, lips already opening to deliver another irritating quip before you immediately spoke again to stop him. “Okay, Imayoshi, you little shit, just shut up—I don’t wanna hear anything from your mouth right now.”

“I don’t see any reason why I should listen to you at all,” he muses. “Why don’t you make me?” He has a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, eagerly eyeing your next move, and as he expected, you let out a frustrated noise that prompted passerby students to shoot pointed looks towards the both of you.

What he didn’t expect was for you to take a huge step towards him, unceremoniously pull him down to your level, and press a reverberating smack on his lips. His eyes are immediately blown wide open to look at your embarrassed, but determined face. His fingers unconsciously move to touch his warmed lips.

“... That was quite romantic, wasn’t it, (l/n)?” he dryly says, recovering almost immediately from the shock. All the other students fled from the blatantly bold scene to save face. Not that Imayoshi really cared.

“Okay, you know what? Bye, I’m not gonna play anymore mind games with you,” you grumble. “Essays and studying aren’t gonna be done by themselves—wah!”

Imayoshi gently tugs you back to reciprocate back a kiss, meticulously slipping his hands behind your head and on your waist to accommodate you. Your eyes are completely open from the shock that the Imayoshi Shoichi was actually kissing you. You don’t close your eyes from the sensation, completely entranced when you make eye contact with his half-lidded eyes watching your every reaction closely. The kiss ended all too soon, and Imayoshi separates himself from you, secretly admiring your dazed look.

“That was quite a strong reaction to just a simple kiss.”

“I—that was not just a ‘simple kiss!’”

“Now would you like to tell me the true reason why you approached me?”

“You’re… insinuating that you know something.”

“Well we wouldn’t know unless you come clean,” Imayoshi purrs. “I can sometimes be wrong too.”

“Ugh, what the hell—fine, I am quite enamored by you, and uh, I… find it infuriating to be with you, but it also gives me butterflies… so I thought I could be with you more… if I asked you—don’t get it twisted, though! I still need your help to study!...” He covers his mouth to suppress a laugh at your honesty.

“Was it really so hard to say that in the beginning, (l/n)-san?”

“Okay, that’s it! I’m really, really leaving! Fuck off, Imayoshi, I swear to—”

“Ho? Just a minute, darling~” he tuts, reaching to hold your hand. “Perhaps if you offer more kisses as an incentive, I’d be more inclined to offer my expertise.”

“How quaint,” you dryly reply. “It’s almost as if we’re in a relationship.”

Imayoshi can’t help but bark out a genuine laugh. You even managed to pick up some of his mannerisms so quickly.

“That’s an interesting proposal, (l/n),” he murmurs. “Should we try that?” You tut at him irritatedly as you tug your interlocked hands while speed-walking ahead.

“Hurry up, or I’ll consider breaking up with you right now.”

“Ah ha!~” he chuckles at your attitude. “How mean, (l/n)-san! Too bad that we both know that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

[maybeimamuppet]

someone gets hurt

“Janis! Janis!” Cady calls, rushing up to her at the end of the school day.

“Babe, you good?” Janis asks worriedly as her girlfriend barrels into her.

Cady nods rapidly. “Yes! Principal Duvall just told me I’m the valedictorian!”

Janis gasps, wrapping her in a hug. “You are? Oh my god, baby! That’s great! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Cady giggles from in her embrace. “Are you staying to paint today?”

“Yeah, you want to come?” Janis asks, plotting in her head. Cady has worked so hard this year, she deserves to be valedictorian, arbitrary as the title is. Janis should do something.

“Always,” Cady grins, leaning up for a kiss and taking her hand to lead them to the art rooms. “How is Damian?”

“He’s fine, it’s just a sprain. Texted me earlier high off his ass on painkillers though, that was funny,” Janis chuckles. “Said there was a dragon in his mashed potatoes.”

“Janis! Don’t laugh at him, you know he has a phobia of broken bones. He’s lucky it was just a sprain. Poor guy,” Cady chides.

“He fell down the stairs! I’m allowed to laugh,” Janis defends.

They’d decided to have lunch in the auditorium today, just for fun. Damian had finished eating early and showed off some complicated choreography from his college audition cuts. He’d absolutely nailed them, but during his bows and basking in the applause of his friends, had fallen down the stairs and sprained his foot. He’d fallen into a panic attack, thinking he had broken it, and was taken to the hospital almost immediately.

“He’s your best friend! I’m gonna tell him you laughed,” Cady threatens.

Janis snorts. “You little narc. Go ahead, he laughed at me when I broke my tailbone when we went roller skating.”

“Hmph. Who are you texting?”

Janis had pulled out her phone to text Regina. She loves throwing parties and giving gifts, she might have some ideas for something Janis could do to surprise Cady.

“Uh, my mom. I actually can’t stay today, uhm... Jules is... sick. I have to go help my mom take care of her,” Janis lies through her teeth.

“Oh. Okay. Do you need me to get her anything?” Cady asks, miraculously not having noticed. She struggles reading people sometimes.

“No, don’t worry about it, baby. It’s just a cold, but she gets really whiny and stuff whenever she’s sick,” Janis explains. That’s true, at least.

“Poor thing. Tell her I hope she feels better soon. I’m going to go visit Damian,” Cady says, popping up on her tippy toes to kiss her goodbye.

“Okay, baby. Tell him I said hi,” Janis responds, kissing her back. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Good luck,” Cady says back.

“Thanks,” Janis chuckles.

————-

“Hi, Dame,” Cady says sadly as she knocks on the door of his hospital room.

“Hey, Cads!” Damian says.

Cady chuckles as she comes to sit by his bed. “You sound better.”

“I got, like, hella painkillers a while ago. Went on some fun daydreams,” Damian replies. “Not high anymore though.”

“Good, I don’t know if I could handle you all hopped up,” Cady giggles. “Janis said you texted her something about a dragon in your mashed potatoes while she was in math class.”

“I did? Oh god, she’s never gonna let me live that down,” Damian sighs. “Oh well.”

“I’ll make her go easy on you,” Cady says confidently, pulling out an activity book she had made during study hall. “I made this for you. I know it’s a little childish, but I figured you might want something to do.”

“Aww! Thanks, Caddy. Ooh, connect the dots,” Damian responds as he flips through it. “What’s the matter?”

Cady turns from where she’s standing, frowning as she looks out the window. His view goes across the street, looking over a coffee shop. Janis lied? She’s in the shop, sitting with... Regina George. Hm. They’re laughing at something.

“Huh? Oh, nothing, don’t worry about it,” Cady says through grit teeth, coming back  to his side and trying to hide her seething jealousy. He doesn’t need that right now. “So, how long are you stuck in here?”

“I get out tonight, once they’re totally sure I’m not reacting to anything they’ve given me,” Damian replies. “I’m not going to be in school for about a week, though. I’m not supposed to walk even with crutches until then.”

“You poor thing,” Cady responds as she rolls her shoulders to get rid of the tension.  “I’ll visit you as much as I can, but I just got a huge English project that’s gonna take me a while.”

Damian pats her hand comfortingly. “I get it, Cads, don’t worry about it. I have this cool book to work on.”

Cady chuckles. “I’ll send other people to come keep you company on the days I can’t. And you have Pippa in the meantime.”

Damian laughs outright at that. His french bulldog doesn’t make a great caregiver. “Thanks, little slice.”

“Anytime.”

—————

“So how was Julie?” Cady asks during her daily morning meet-up with Janis on Monday. She wants to hear what Janis has to say, now that she knows she lied.

Janis doesn’t even look up from her phone, tapping away texts to... someone. Probably Regina. “Hm? Oh, she was fine, thanks. Just needed a rest. How was Damian?”

“He was fine,” Cady huffs. Janis had lied again. Janis hums noncommittally. “He went on a quest to fight dragons with a fairy princess and took me. I was an elf. You should really come next time. He’s a wizard, you know. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. The doctor even had an enchanted sword.”

“Good for him,” Janis replies, having taken in nothing. The bell rings then, making them both jump. “Oh shit. Have a good day, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cady responds, blinking in surprise at the quick kiss pressed to her lips before Janis runs to class. What the hell is going on with her?

-

Janis continues acting oddly into the next day. She’s not at lunch on Tuesday, and neither is Regina. Cady plops her tray of meatloaf on the table and sits down with a huff, startling Gretchen and Karen.

“You okay, Cady?” Gretchen asks worriedly. “You look tense.”

Cady stabs her meatloaf so hard that a few of the tines snap off her plastic fork. “Peachy. Has Regina told you guys anything? About what she’s been up to lately? Janis has been acting so weird, and I think Regina is part of it.”

“Um, no,” Karen lies. Regina had told them the plan to surprise Cady, so they actually knew everything. They had been sworn to secrecy.

“Yeah, we don’t know anything,” Gretchen piggybacks. “How has Janis been acting weird?”

“She... she lied to me,” Cady answers, realizing this may be more serious than she had originally thought. “I got chosen as valedictorian, I thought maybe we could go have dinner or something to celebrate after we visited Damian, but she said her sister was sick. But she wasn’t, Janis was in the coffee shop with Regina.”

“With Regina? Are you sure?” Karen responds. “Regina was with us Friday. And they still, like, totally aren’t friends. X emoji.”

“It was definitely Janis, at least,” Cady says sadly. “I guess it might not have been Regina. But how many other platinum blondes that wear full designer outfits would Janis know? Maybe it was before you guys hung out.”

“That is totally strange,” Gretchen responds, anxious about lying. She tries to change the subject quickly. “Has Janis done anything else weird?”

Cady takes the bait. “She wouldn’t stop texting yesterday, or this morning. I don’t know who she was talking to, but she didn’t even listen to me. I made up some story about Damian and I fighting dragons and she just said ‘good for him’.”

“Dragons? That’s so fetch,” Karen responds. “I want to meet a dragon. It’s one of my life goals, sunrise emoji.”

“Karen, sweetie, no. She said she made it up, remember? Dragons aren’t real,” Gretchen says quietly, squeezing her hand.

“That’s not fetch,” Karen huffs, going quiet.

“I know, sweetie. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much, Cady,” Gretchen says as she tries to comfort her girlfriend. “Janis is, like, head over heels for you. It’ll work out.”

“It better,” Cady grumbles. “Oh, hey, can you guys pop in to see Damian after school? Just for a little while, make sure he’s okay? I told him I’d have people drop by on days I couldn’t go see him.”

“Why can’t you go?” Gretchen asks, genuinely curious.

“I got this English project Friday, I have to work on it. I’m supposed to pick a career I want in the future and make a presentation about it, and it has to be five minutes long! I don’t even know what I want to do for a job,” Cady sighs.

“You can do it, Cady, you’re super smart,” Karen pipes up again. “Notebook emoji. But, like, shrug emoji, would Damian even want to see us?”

“Why wouldn’t he want to see you? He really likes you guys now. You’re not mean to him or Janis anymore, he doesn’t have anything against you guys anymore,” Cady says sadly. “You guys don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but he’d love to see you. You’re his friends.”

Of course we’ll go, we don’t have anything going on,” Gretchen responds. They need to fill him in on the plan, anyway.

“Oh, thank you,” Cady breathes with relief. “I owe you one.”

“It’s fine, Cady. Good luck with your project,” Gretchen says.

“Ugh,” Cady grumbles at the reminder, slamming her head into the table.

————-

By Wednesday afternoon, Cady is at her wits end. She hasn’t slept in two days researching for her project, and Janis still won’t pay attention to her. She’d gotten confirmation that it had been Regina with Janis at the coffee shop, so Gretchen and Karen had also lied to her face.

She heads to the art rooms after school to watch Janis paint, needing a break from her own thoughts. Even if she is a bit angry with Janis. Maybe this will patch things up.

Cady loves watching Janis paint. She loves the cute way her brow furrows and her tongue pokes out to the side whenever she tries to focus, the way every stroke of the brush seems to have a purpose. Janis can create gorgeous scenes just from her mind, as if the brush in her hand is simply an extension of her imagination. Cady loves watching a few simple sketches or swipes of her paintbrush turn to incredible works of art.

Cady’s tried to paint with her a few times, only succeeding in creating a blotchy mess of colors and a few vague shapes, but Janis always cheered her on and pointed out the things she had done well. Cady decided she likes watching Janis paint more than doing it herself, but they have painting mini-dates from time to time that they both enjoy immensely.

She opens the door quietly when she finally reaches the classroom, in hopes of surprising her girlfriend. She winds up getting the surprise herself, finding none other than Regina talking to Janis. Again. Regina is sitting haughtily on the counter, facing Cady but not looking at her. There’s a strangely excited glint in her eyes. Janis is leaning against a desk facing Regina, so her back is to Cady.

They’re awfully close together, Cady thinks as her face falls and her chest burns with envy. She thanks her lucky stars they haven’t spotted her yet, allowing her to eavesdrop for a second. She tries desperately to tamp down the voice growling ‘get away from my girlfriend’  in her head. There has to be some explanation.

Cady can’t quite pick up most of their conversation, but she does hear Regina say, “Cady’s not going to find out, Janis,” and lean closer.

That’s all she needs to hear. She feels herself let out a harsh sob, turning on her heel and running from the room. Janis whirls around just before the door slams shut behind her. “Caddy! Shit,” she calls as  she breaks into a sprint after her. “Baby, please wait, let me explain!”

“What the fuck is there to explain, Janis?!” Cady yells at her, walking backwards for a second. “Just leave me alone. Go to her, I hope she makes you happy.” And with that, she turns and continues running.

“Baby, please,” Janis begs, reaching for her. Cady doesn’t turn back around.

-

Cady winds up running the whole mile back to her house without noticing, ignoring the worried calls of her parents as she barrels up the stairs to her bedroom, throwing her backpack off and burrowing under her covers. Her chest is starting to hurt with how hard she’s sobbing. Maybe she’s feeling her heart breaking.

How could I be so stupid with love again? Of course Janis would pick Regina over me. Regina has every American standard of beauty down pat, and a good personality now. What do I have?

She hears her phone pinging frantically, looking to see texts flooding in from Janis and Regina, both begging her to let Janis explain. She flips it to silent after sending her parents a text, letting them know to turn Janis away should she turn up at any point.

How could they do this to me? I understand why Janis chose her, but how could she be so cruel? Regina is supposed to be nicer now, how could she do this? It’s fucking Aaron all over again. I caught feelings for Janis and she snatched her away. And Janis... did she ever love me? How could she do this?

She rolls onto her side and soaks her pillow in tears, deciding she gets the decision to swear off of dating now.

-

Janis loses Cady as she reaches the main doors, panting with exertion. She turns to head back to the classroom to grab her bag.

“Janis, I’m so sorry, I had no idea she was there or I wouldn’t have phrased it like that,” Regina bursts out as soon as she enters, looking near tears.

“Reg, it... it’ll be fine. It has to be. I’ll go find her and try to explain again, I guess. Better to ruin the surprise than have her think I’m cheating on her,” Janis says in response, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and moving quickly back towards the door.

Regina sighs heavily. “Okay, good luck. I’ll text her too. God, she looked so... broken.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Reggie. Later,” Janis calls over her shoulder, hurrying towards the entrance to the building.

She pulls her phone from her pocket as she walks to Cady’s house, figuring that must be where she’s gone.

Jellybean: caddy that wasn’t what it looked like i promise

Jellybean: are you okay??

Jellybean: please let me explain

Jellybean: caddy you know me you know i wouldn’t do that to you please

Jellybean: baby??

Cady hasn’t answered or even read any of her messages by the time Janis is knocking on the door.

“Cady says she doesn’t want to see you,” Cady’s mother says harshly, protective of her cub.

“Mrs. Heron, please, I need to explain. She didn’t see what she thought she did,” Janis begs.

Mrs. Heron sighs. “Janis, I want to believe you, but Cady has been hurt by this Regina girl before. You need to leave, give her time. I’ll tell her you came by.”

She closes the door before Janis can get another word out. Give her time, Janis thinks as she walks to Damian’s house next, seething with anger.

-

Cady’s father wakes her up just before dinner, softly stroking her hair. She must have cried herself to sleep.

“Janis came by,” he says carefully. “Your mother sent her away like you asked.”

Cady immediately bursts into tears at the mention of her now ex-girlfriend. “I don’t wanna see her again. I want to switch schools.”

“Shh, binti. You’re a month away from graduation, you’re not switching schools. But you can stay home tomorrow. What happened?”

Cady cries harder. “Janis was-was talking to Regina in the art room and-and they were so close together and then Janis said something and R-Regina said that-that I wouldn’t find out about it,” she wails into his shoulder.

“Shh, ndege wangu mdogo wa wimbo. Did you hear what it was you wouldn’t find out about?” Her father hushes.

“She’s cheating on me! With Regina,” Cady sobs. “What else could it be?”

“Did you hear them say that? Or see them do anything?”

“No,” she admits shyly.

“Then you don’t know. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, you’re going to jump into your grave one of these times,” her father chides gently. “You don’t have to today, or even anytime soon, but you should hear Janis out at some point, let her explain.”

“Fine,” Cady sniffs. “But what is she hiding? Janis tells me everything.”

“That I don’t know, binti. You take some time to think. I’ll bring up your dinner.” And with a forehead kiss, her father leaves her alone.

-

“Whoa whoa whoa, what?” Damian asks hastily, interrupting Janis. “Start again and slow down.”

“Caddy found me talking to Regina and now she thinks I’m cheating. She said she didn’t want to see me and won’t even read my texts,” she growls.

“Wow. That’s... out of character for her,” Damian says in shock.

“I know! I don’t know what to do, she won’t let me explain anything,” Janis huffs, terrified she might lose her girlfriend over something so stupid. “And now I’m wondering what the hell she really thinks of me. If she can’t trust me enough to know I would never cheat on her, especially with Regina fucking George, then should we even be together?”

“That’s a fair point, I guess,” Damian admits. “But that really doesn’t sound like Caddy. Something else has to be going on.”

Janis sighs, trying to get herself back under control. She can’t even figure out why she’s so angry. “Can you talk to her?”

Damian looks meaningfully at his wounded foot, but eventually can’t resist the urge to help his platonic soulmate. “I can try, I guess. Maybe convince her to hear you out. But I can’t explain what happened or get her to forgive you. You have to do that.”

“Fine,” Janis huffs. “Just make sure she’s okay.”

“She will be, Jan, don’t worry. I’ll text her, see if she can come over tomorrow,” Damian comforts.

“Thanks, D.”

————-

Cady warily checks her phone when she wakes up the next morning, surprised when she sees her most recent text is from Damian.

Big Slice: Do you wanna come hang out with me after school today?? Pippa is not performing her caregiver duties well enough

She sighs. It’s almost definitely a trap, Damian is Janis’ best friend. That thought gives her pause. If she and Janis break up for good, will she lose her friendship with Damian? And since Regina is involved, will Gretchen and Karen stop being her friends, too? If she doesn’t go talk to Damian, she might go back to being totally alone for the third time in two years.

Little Slice: Yeah, I’ll come. I’ll be over around noon. My parents made me take a mental health day.

Big Slice: 📷

Little Slice: Wait, Janis won’t be there, will she?

Big Slice: Nope just us :) She went to school and has to babysit Juju after

Little Slice: Good.

Cady hauls herself out of bed with a great deal of effort, surprised to see it’s already eleven. She trudges down the stairs still in her pajamas for breakfast, staring out the window at absolutely nothing as she munches on her cereal.

Climbing back up the stairs feels like she’s climbing Kilimanjaro again, but she manages and resists the urge to flop back into bed. She doesn’t even have the energy to brush her hair, tying it up into a knot and spraying a little extra perfume on in place of a shower.

She grabs her phone after she tugs on a sweatshirt and some leggings, texting her dad to tell him she’s going to see Damian.

Cady perks up a little on her walk over, the sun giving her some energy. She has a spare key, so lets herself into Damian’s house and heads to his bedroom.

“Hey, Cads, how are you?” Damian asks when he turns to look at her. Janis clearly told him everything, but he’s pretending not to know.

“Fine,” Cady whispers. She can feel tears burning in her eyes and knows if she tries to speak she’ll start crying. Damian doesn’t need her problems on top of his own and Janis’.

“No, you’re not,” Damian says, reaching for her. “Come tell me your troubles.”

“You have your own problems, you don’t need to hear mine,” Cady mumbles.

“Bitch, please, I live for drama. I’ve been holed up here for almost a week, give me something to do,” Damian begs.

Cady gives in to the cuddling urge, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder. She heaves a sigh to try and keep the tears at bay, to no avail.

“Did Janis tell you?” She says, choking out a sob immediately after.

Damian sits up to hold her better. “Yes, but I want to hear your side of things too.”

Cady sobs harder. “She was-was talking to-to-to Regina in the art room, and R-Regina looked... excited about something and then Janis said something to h-her and Regina said that-that I wouldn’t find out about it.”

“So what do you think they meant by that?” Damian hums sadly, rubbing her back.

“Are they t-together? Is she cheat-cheating on me?” Cady whimpers.

“Let’s work through this together, hm? You remember how Janis acted when she had a crush on you, yeah?” Damian asks, continuing when she nods. “Disaster lesbian. Has she been acting like that around Regina?”

“No,” Cady sniffles. “But-but she could be meeting her when I don’t know about it, and hiding it when-when I’m around.”

“That’s another thing. Has Janis been lying to you about where she is, or acting suspicious?” Damian asks comfortingly.

Cady is about to say no before she remembers Friday. “Yeah,” she wails. “On-on Friday, she said Juliana was sick... b-but when I was at the ho-hospital with you she w-went to that coffee sh-shop with Regina.”

“Okay, so we have one suspicious thing, I’ll admit that is weird,” Damian says, scolding Janis internally. “Has she done anything else?”

Cady sniffles as she pauses to think. “She won’t l-listen to me any-anymore. She spent all day Monday and Tuesday t-tex-texting somebody and didn’t hear anything I said, and then-then she missed lunch. She did-did yesterday, t-too.”

“That’s some bullshit,” Damian calls. “She shouldn’t be doing that, I’ll talk to her about that. Okay, so a few things. Back to our checklist. Has Janis stopped saying things like ‘I love you’ or giving you kisses and cuddles and stuff?”

“No,” Cady sobs. She misses that, so much. And it’s only been a day. “She hasn’t.”

“Has Janis ever willingly wanted to spend a long amount of time with Regina? In the entire time you’ve known them? Even now that Reggie is a decent human?” Damian asks, looking at her meaningfully.

“No,” Cady admits. “Not unless one of us is around.”

“So does it make sense for them to be together?”

“No,” she sniffles. “But what if she’s with somebody else?”

“Who would she be with?” He asks.

Cady stops to think. The only other lesbian Janis knows well is Sonja Acquino, and she had gotten a girlfriend over winter break. Girls at school still tended to avoid Janis. Unless she met someone outside of school, there’s nobody she could possibly be with. Cady spends most of her time outside of school with Janis, and Janis would’ve told her if she had met a fellow gay.

Cady processes this realization and bursts into sobs anew. “God, I’m so stupid. Is Janis mad at me?”

“No, little slice, no. Janis has been acting weird, you had every right to be suspicious. Janis isn’t mad, either. She’s frustrated that you won’t talk to her, and she’s upset that you think she would do something like that. But I think once you both take a couple days to process and regroup, you should hear her out and make her hear you out, and then you’ll be fine. You two are so fucking grossly in love, you’re gonna make it through this.”

“Thank you,” Cady sniffs. “For listening. I would’ve understood if you took her side. You’re such a good friend.”

“Thanks, Cads,” Damian chuckles. “I try. But really, I’m friends with both of you; I’m talking to you because I want to. You both have shit happening that you’re not telling the other one about; once you clear the air there won’t even be sides to this. And besides, you’re Pippa’s favorite auntie. We can’t let you get away.”

Cady gives a watery chuckle at that, wiping the tears from under her eyes. “God, I’m such a mess.”

“Bitch, you’re fine. Until, like, five minutes ago you thought you had your second major heartbreak in two years,” Damian chastises gently. “We have ice cream in the freezer, can you go get it for us please?”

“Yes,” Cady says, kissing his cheek and grabbing a tissue from the box on his dresser. “I’ll be right back.”

She hears the clacking of small claws following her down the hallway to the kitchen, turning to see the sweet little squished face of Damian’s french bulldog.

“Hi Pip,” she says in her baby voice. “How are you, puppies?” Pippa wiggles excitedly when Cady picks her up, scrambling to lick the tear tracks from her cheeks. “Oh, thank you. Have you been taking good care of Damian?”

She bursts out laughing when Damian calls “No!” from his room, apparently having overheard their conversation.

“Well that can’t be right, your little face could heal any injury,” Cady says as she sets the dog down. She opens the freezer, grabbing two pints of ice cream and some spoons from the drawer before heading back to Damian.

“Pippa would be a terrible nurse,” Damian says when she comes back. “She keeps tripping me every time I try to go to the bathroom.”

Cady giggles. “She’s doing her best, be nice. Here’s your ice cream.”

“Thank youuuuu,” Damian sings. “Now, what should we watch to get your mind off of things?”

Cady crawls back into bed next to him, helping Pippa up as she stands on her hind legs to see what they’re doing. “Have you found any new bootlegs?”

“Ooh, yeah, actually. I’ve had a lot of time to look,” Damian answers, grabbing his laptop from his nightstand and a flash drive from the drawer. “I found a really good quality one of The Lion King, do you want to watch that?”

Cady’s eyes go wide as she opens her ice cream and she nods excitedly. “I’ve just been watching videos of this monkey who’s best friends with a duck on repeat. It kept making me cry harder because they’re so cute. Your plan sounds better.”

“You are the biggest dork I know, I love you dearly,” Damian responds, bringing up the right file. “Alright, time to see some puppet elephants and shit.”

Cady cuddles into his side as the video starts, with Pippa resting protectively at their feet.

“Is Janis okay?” she asks quietly after they finish.

“Yes, she’s okay. She’ll be better after you two talk, but she’s fine,” Damian responds comfortingly. “I found one of Frozen too, do you want to watch that?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

-

She stays over through dinner, watching musicals and playing card games with Damian to pass the time. He makes her promise to shower and clean her inevitably messy room when she gets home, and turn her phone back on.

She keeps her promises and heads to bed, feeling much more secure in her relationships than she did a few hours prior.

————-

Janis stays home from school on Friday, having woken up even angrier than she had the day before.

Her therapist in middle school had told her to find a constructive way to deal with anger, since she had a tendency to cause either severe property damage or accidental damage to herself with her impulse decisions. Damian had had to explain her way out of trouble several times.

So, Janis had taken up yarn crafts. She would knit or cross-stitch or crochet, finding the repetitive motions soothing. Plus, a lot of the tools were quite sharp, making her feel like she had weapons.

She’s aggressively working on embroidering new designs on her jacket right around the time she’s supposed to be in school, when none other than Damian comes barreling into her room, as if he’d felt a disturbance in the force and had come to make sure she’s okay.

“Phone,” he says immediately when he sees her face and choice of activity, hobbling over on his crutches and holding out a hand for it.

“Why?” Janis grumbles but shuts it off and hands it over regardless.

“So you don’t do something on it that you’ll regret later. Internet is permanent. You wanna go throw rocks in the pond?” He asks, as if she’s a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

“Can you do that? You’re not even supposed to be on crutches yet,” Janis asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You know damn well I would saw my legs off for you, I’m fine taking a little longer to heal. Plus, I got cleared by the doctor yesterday, so yes I am supposed to be on crutches yet,” he says childishly as he sticks his tongue out at her. “Are we going or not?”

“Yeah,” Janis mumbles, throwing off her covers to go get dressed.

-

Luckily, Damian’s unhurt foot is the one he needs to drive, so he can still do so safely. He lets Janis play her Angory Times playlist on the way there, which is just a lot of loud, shouty songs one right after another. Damian normally hates this kind of music, but Janis can see him actively trying to be supportive and let her continue.

Fortunately for him, the pond isn’t too far away, and Janis sees him breathe a sigh of relief when he shuts the car off and the noise stops. Damian grabs his crutches from the backseat and heads off, Janis stalking after him.

She bends to pick up rocks on her way, also grabbing the ones Damian points to. His are for skipping, small and flat and smooth. Hers are just for throwing, heavy ones that will make a good splash when they’re hurtled into the water.

Once their respective collections are amassed, they stand next to one another on the shore and go at it. Janis feels her anger chipping away as she chucks her rocks like baseballs into the murky water, delighting in the splashes echoing around them.

This is part of why she loves Damian so much. He knows exactly what to do to make her feel better in any possible scenario, and is perfectly content to do something as stupid as throw rocks into a creek with her in complete silence. On a sprained foot, no less.

“Nice,” she pants when Damian gets six skips in a row with one of his.

“Thanks,” Damian huffs back. “How many fish d’you think we’ve concussed so far?”

Janis laughs at that, hurtling her last rock as hard as she can. It hurts her shoulder a little, but lands almost halfway across the pond. “I don’t think fish can live in this water, honestly.”

“You’re probably right. Feeling better?” Damian asks, skipping his last stone. Four skips isn’t bad.

“Yeah. Can we get coffee?” Janis asks, trying to catch her breath.

“Yeah. Come on.”

-

Once Janis has her iced coffee and Damian has his latte, they find a bench to sit on and just watch the world go by for a while.

“So, are you ready to talk about why I had to take you to go chuck rocks into the pond?” Damian asks gently.

Janis sighs. “I just... I want to know what she’s thinking. I thought she trusted me, that we trusted each other. If she can’t believe that I wouldn’t do that to the point of completely cutting me off at the first slightly suspicious thing, then do we even... have a relationship?”

Damian doesn’t say anything, just takes her hand and squeezes it to encourage her to continue.

“Like... what else is going on with her? What is she not telling me? I just-I just don’t know what she needs. I’ve never felt so disconnected from her before. I’m-I’m scared.” Janis murmurs.

Damian hums sadly. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah,” Janis mumbles.

“I really don’t think this is happening because Cady doesn’t trust you. I think it’s happening because she doesn’t trust herself.” Damian responds. “She was a wreck when she came over yesterday, she had obviously been crying and hadn’t showered, things like that. Her hair wasn’t even brushed. When Aaron got back with Regina she got hot and did our whole revenge party thing.”

Janis takes her turn to listen, letting him continue.

“Cady grew up with lions and shit. If she thought you were cheating on her she should’ve been angry, not sad. Just based on who she is as a person. There’s something more happening.”

Janis thinks on what he’s said for a second. “Doesn’t trust herself? What do you mean? Doesn’t trust herself not to cheat on me?”

“No, no,” Damian says hastily. He pauses, trying to figure out how to word his point. “I don’t think Cady thinks she deserves you. She doesn’t trust herself to be what you want or need.”

“Am I that bad of a girlfriend? How could she think that? Why wouldn’t she tell me she was feeling like that?” Janis asks, trying to hold back the tears burning her eyes.

“Because you might have told her she was right. You and I know you would never do that, and I think she knows that too. But her anxiety about it overrode her rationality for a while. Cady has a lot going on. And no, you’re not a terrible girlfriend. You’re a pretty good one, actually. This is your first argument, it’s understandable,” Damian comforts.

“I just... I don’t want to lose her. And this is so stupid, why can’t I just-just stop being so angry?” Janis grits out.

“I think it’s fair for you to be angry, honestly. Cady didn’t mean for it to be, but this is kind of an attack on your character. She accused you of cheating,” Damian replies, wrapping and arm around her shoulders.

“I guess. Feels shitty,” Janis mumbles, leaning to rest her head on his shoulder.

“It’s meant to. But try to think of how she’s feeling, too,” Damian says as he rests his cheek on her head. “I had to explain to her why it didn’t make sense for you to cheat, and when it finally sank in the first thing she asked was if you were angry at her. For even thinking you would do that.”

That finally gets the tears from Janis, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes as she feels any lingering anger directed at Cady fade into nothing. “God, Caddy. What do I do, Damian?”

“For now, finish your coffee. She invited you to explain tomorrow, yeah?” Damian asks. Janis nods. “Okay, so tomorrow go over and... do something. I know you didn’t technically do anything wrong, but maybe apologize for... how she took it, I guess? You were acting kind of shady. Make sure she knows you would never cheat, tell her she can trust you, stuff like that. Just take everything one step at a time.”

“Okay,” Janis sniffles. “Is-was she okay?”

“Not at first, I’ll be honest,” Damian replies. “She said she had been watching videos of this monkey and duck who are best friends to try to cheer herself up, and I had to watch two bootlegs with her to even see her smile. But once we had a chat and stuff she seemed a lot more secure. Confident. She’ll probably apologize before you even get a chance.”

Janis gives a watery chuckle at the mention of the inter-species friendship videos. “That’s my girl. Thanks for checking on her.”

“Caddy said the same things. She wanted to know if you were okay, said thanks for even thinking about her.”

“I miss her so much,” Janis sniffs.

Damian takes her hand again. “And that’s how I know this is going to work out. You’re both upset with each other, and yet all both of you can think about is making up so you can be together again.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so. Y’all are the most disgustingly loving couple I know, you both look at the other like they hung the stars. You two are going to be fine.”

“Okay. I love you,” Janis responds, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

“I love you too. You wanna go play with the birds at the pet store?” Damian asks, hauling himself back onto his crutches.

“You know me too well,” Janis replies with a small grin, following him back to his car.

————-

On Saturday, Cady tells Janis she can come over to finally have a talk. Janis decides to come in through the window for dramatic effect, nearly falling out of the tree she has to climb to do so until Cady hauls her in safely.

“What the hell, Janis? It’s pouring with rain, why didn’t you come in through the door? You could’ve broken your neck,” Cady insists like a worried mother, leaving to fetch her a towel. It’s strange, not immediately pulling her in for a kiss or hug. She doesn’t like it.

“I didn’t, though, and that’s the key,” Janis says, rubbing the towel over her hair quickly. Once that’s done she gestures for Cady to sit on her bed, sitting across from her criss-cross applesauce. She takes a breath to prepare herself, but Cady speaks before she can.

“Janis, I’m so sorry. I don’t-I don’t know what I was thinking, I should’ve known you’d never do that, especially with Regina. I hadn’t slept in two days, I was so irrational,” she bursts out rapidly.

“Hey, Caddy, shh. I’m supposed to be apologizing to you. I understand how that whole thing with Regina might have looked to you, so I’m sorry for that, first of all,” Janis says. “I’m sorry I ever made you think I would do that to you. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you’re not enough for me. I love you. I need you to know I would never even think about cheating. It’s important we trust each other with stuff like that, from now on.”

Cady nods. “I do, I know you would never do that. I trust you, it’s just... Jesus, I don’t even know,” She sighs, burying her face in her hands.

“Cads, hey. Can I touch you?” Janis asks gently, taking her hands when Cady gives a nod and squeezing them. She hates this, it feels like they’re back at square one of their relationship. Maybe they are. “What’s going on?”

“I know Regina has worked on herself, a lot, and I hate feeling like this. But she took Aaron away right when she found out I liked him. What would’ve stopped her from doing it with you?”

“Me,” Janis insists. “I would have stopped it.”

“But what if she’s better for you?!” Cady asks pleadingly. “Regina could take care of you. She’s pretty, and nice now. She’s rich, and smart, and she can do art and stuff too. What- what do I have? I’m just some homeschooled weirdo from Kenya who doesn’t understand people and won’t shut up about math. I-I’m autistic, that’s gonna be hard to deal with sometimes, and in terms of looks I’m not anything special. I want you to have someone who makes you happy. You deserve someone like her. Someone.... someone better.”

“I don’t give a hot, crispy, Kentucky fried fuck what you think I deserve. I know what I want, and I want you. I want my Caddy, my Peanut, my Butterfly,” Janis says passionately, cupping her cheeks and looking into her eyes. “I want your pretty blue eyes and your red hair that smells like cherries and your freckles I can find constellations in. I want my math nerd who does calculus for fun and who can’t do art to save her life but tries anyway because she knows it’ll make me smile. I want my animal lover who makes friends with the squirrels in the woods and didn’t notice a deer followed her on her walk to my house, my girl who can tell me facts I never needed to know about lions and fun stories about Africa. You make me happy. I want you, baby. Nobody else.”

Cady throws herself at Janis, knocking her backwards onto the bed and locking their lips together. Janis kisses her back just as hard, gripping her waist so hard Cady can feel bruises forming. She doesn’t care. She’s flooded with relief at the familiar waxy texture of Janis’ lipstick, the comforting smell of vanilla from her soft skin and the safe feeling of being held in her arms. She pulls back for a split second to breathe before diving back in, gasping as Janis nips her lip and twines their tongues together.

When they finally pull back, Janis just cups Cady’s face to look at her, lips swollen and two-toned hair wild around her. “I’m so sorry,” Cady says, pulling back to sit again and burying herself in Janis’ shoulder when she follows. “I hated fighting, I love you, I’m sorry.”

“The only thing you have to be sorry for is not telling me you were feeling that way. This is only gonna work if we both feel okay about ourselves, and tell each other when we don’t. I’m sorry for not talking with you about this kind of thing sooner. This whole relationship needs to be based on trust and talking to each other, okay?”

Cady nods. “Okay. We both take care of each other?”

“Exactly, my girl,” Janis confirms, grinning as Cady kisses her cheeks. “But ourselves, too.”

“Have you ever felt like this? With me?” Cady asks gently.

“Of course. I wonder every day what I did to deserve you. I was so jealous the whole time you were with Aaron, and I thought you were way out of my league for a long time,” Janis responds, chuckling when Cady pulls back to look at her incredulously. “You’re so beautiful, and so smart. You were queen of the school for a good while, I thought you would at least want someone as smart as you, if not as nice and pretty. When we first got together I spent a lot of time wondering why you didn’t pick Kevin or even Regina over me.”

“Then I’m sorry too. You’re what I want, I love you. I love the way you always smell like paint, I love the one little chunk of hair that always slips into your face,” Cady says, brushing it behind Janis’ ear. “I love the way you’re so tough and strong and yet you cry over the snake food at the pet store and try to steal the dwarf hamsters every time we go. I love how you never let my feet touch the ground when we’re together, and how you seem so cold but give the warmest hugs and softest kisses. I love how you’re the only person who regularly asks for stories about Kenya and never tells me to be quiet, and how you let me ramble about math and at least pretend to be interested even though you don’t understand what I’m on about. I love that you let me call you stupid little nicknames even though it ‘goes against your image’. I love that you’re so passionate about everything, that you care so much about what’s important to you and aren’t afraid to let people know it. I. Love. You. So much. Promise me you’ll tell me if you feel that way again.”

“I promise, baby. I love you too,” Janis responds with tears in her eyes. Cady clings to her tightly, happy they seem to be okay again. They sit like that for a short while, content to be holding each other again.

“Janis?” Cady asks quietly after a moment.

“Yes, Princess?” Janis responds, opening her eyes again.

“What have you been talking with Regina about?”

Janis chuckles, kissing her cheek. “I’ve been trying to come up with something to surprise you with, to celebrate you being valedictorian. Reggie likes party planning and stuff, I thought she might have some ideas.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Oh my god, I’m so stupid,” Cady chuckles. Janis flicks her gently.

“Hey, no you’re not. You’re the valedictorian, for fucks sake. And I did not go about any of this correctly.”

“I didn’t either, I don’t blame you. But you don’t have to get me anything, Jayjay,” Cady mumbles sheepishly as she nuzzles back into Janis.

“I know I don’t have to, I want to,” Janis replies. “You’ve worked so hard, you deserve something.”

“What have you guys come up with?” Cady asks.

“Regina wants to throw you some kind of party, but that’s all we’ve gotten so far. I’m trying to talk her out of some sort of rager,” Janis answers.

“Oh, that sounds fun. But yeah, I don’t want anything big or crazy,” Cady says.

“What do you want? Since it’s not a surprise anymore. Might as well get your input,” Janis says in response.

Cady thinks for a while. “I dunno. Something with food. Maybe outside if it’s a nice day. I trust your judgement.”

“A dangerous choice,” Janis chuckles.

“I know,” Cady giggles. “But really. As long as it’s not anything crazy or expensive I don’t mind what you choose to do.”

“Okay. I can work with that. I love you,” Janis says.

“I love you too. I missed you,” Cady says.

“I missed you too, baby,” Janis responds. “Was torture without you.”

“We really have to do something for Damian, too,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “I would’ve totally spiraled without him.”

“God, yeah, me too,” Janis says. “You think of something to get him, we’ll give it to him on the same day we do your little bash.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles. She goes quiet for a long moment before piping up again. “Janis?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you help me with my English project?”

“Yes,” Janis laughs. “Of course.”

“Thank god.”

————-

“Hey, Cady, can we talk?” Regina stops her in the hallway on her way to study hall.

“Oh god, Regina! Sorry, you scared me. Uh, yeah, are you okay with talking in the bathroom?”

Regina grimaces, but nods. Cady follows her in.

“Regina, I’m sorry, I should never have accused you of trying to steal Janis,” Cady apologizes. “You’ve worked so much on being nicer, and it really shows, I’m sorry I ever thought you would still do something like that.”

“Whoa, Cady,” Regina says. “Um, it’s... fine. I wasn’t expecting you to apologize. I wanted to apologize, I should have been more careful with how Janis and I were meeting and stuff. I don’t know if she’s talked to you yet, but she would never cheat on you, especially with me. I think she still hates me. Please forgive Janis, none of this was her fault.”

“Gina, hey,” Cady comforts. “Janis and I talked this weekend, we’re back together. Everything is okay. We’ve all learned some very valuable lessons. I forgive you.”

“Oh thank fuck,” Regina sighs. “The universe has felt out of balance since you broke up. I was wondering what you guys were going to do to me that could be worse than the Kälteen bars.”

“I’m still sorry about those,” Cady mumbles sheepishly. “Let’s just, like... talk about stuff, in the future? Stop having to have moments like this?”

“Agreed,” Regina says. “You want to hug it out, don’t you?” Cady nods. “Fine. Thirty seconds.”

“I’ll take it,” Cady says happily. “I’ll make a hugger out of you yet.”

————-

“Jayjay!” Cady calls, leaping on Janis from behind.

“Jesus fuck! Caddy! Don’t do that,” Janis yelps as she turns around.

“Hi,” Cady says, grinning up at her. “I sowwy.”

Janis glares at her. “You’re forgiven. For a kiss.”

Cady happily obliges, reaching her arms around Janis’ neck as she leans up to kiss her sweetly. “Better?”

“For now,” Janis says, pecking her gently again. “Do you want to work on your project? I’ve been freed from planning your little shindig for the day, Regina wanted to go see Damian.”

“Aww, that’s nice of her. I definitely need your help, it’s due on Friday and I only have a couple slides,” Cady says.

“Tits. You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Cady says, lacing their fingers together as Janis leads her to her truck.

-

Janis flops onto Cady’s bed when they arrive, reaching for her laptop to see what Cady has so far. She bursts out laughing when she sees the only slide Cady’s made.

“What’s so funny?” Cady asks. She’d been pretty sleep deprived by the time she actually got around to putting it together, but thought she had done a pretty good job.

“Did you proofread this at all?” Janis says in between fits of laughter.

“I hadn’t slept in two days at the time, but yes,” Cady replies, almost offended.

“Baby, this just says ‘I’m so tired. Please god let me sleep.’ over and over with a bunch of typos,” Janis says breathlessly, wiping tears of laughter from under her eyes.

“Oh. Oops,” Cady replies. Apparently she’s made less progress than she had thought.

“Next time, pace yourself. You need to sleep, Butterfly,” Janis says, reaching for her. Cady comes to sit on her lap.

“So, what career do you want to do this project on? It’s supposed to be what you want to do when you grow up, right?” Janis asks, holding her close.

“Yeah,” Cady mumbles. “But... I don’t know what I want to do.”

“Oh, baby, that’s okay. I don’t know either,” Janis comforts. “Do you have any ideas of jobs you want?”

“My parents want me to go into zoology, like them,” Cady replies. “And I’ve been... wondering if I should go into medicine. Like Rhys wanted to. Since he couldn’t himself.”

“But what do you want to do?” Janis asks. “I think it’s great that you’re considering medicine for your brother, but if it’s not what you really want then you shouldn’t force yourself into it.”

“I kind of want to teach math,” Cady mumbles shyly. “Like, to college or high school kids. Maybe get my PhD in math and stuff. I think math is fun, I want to help other people have fun with it too.”

“You would be such a good teacher, baby,” Janis comforts, kissing her cheek. “You should absolutely do that if it’s what you want. You’ll be successful enough to make your parents happy, and be doing something you’re interested in. That’s a great fit for you.”

Cady looks more than a little relieved at that, but realizes something. “I’d feel guilty though. I promised I’d become a doctor for Rhys when he died. I just... don’t really want to anymore. I don’t think I’d be very good at it.”

“Butterfly, Rhys would want you to be happy with whatever you choose to do. You already honor him every day just by existing. You’re so smart, and kind, and beautiful. I know you’re already making him proud, you don’t owe him anything else,” Janis reminds her. She never met Rhys, but from everything she’s heard about him she just made a true statement.

“Thank you, Jayjay. I guess if I did get my PhD I’d technically be a doctor,” Cady jokes. “I’ll decide later, I have a couple years.”

“That you do. Unfortunately, becoming a math teacher doesn’t make for a very interesting project, though, so maybe pick a fake career and we’ll look into that,” Janis says.

“I did actually want to be a zoologist when I was really little, we could do that,” Cady says.

“Sounds like a plan,” Janis replies as she kisses her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cady responds. “Can we just make out instead?”

“Tempting,” Janis says. “You get one minute of kissing for every half hour.”

“Fine.”

————-

“Hey, Cady, can you go to the mall with us after school today?” Gretchen asks, flanked by Karen.

“Yeah,” Cady responds. “Is this related at all to-“

“No!” Karen insists before she can finish.

“Karen, sweetie, she knows she’s having some kind of party. She just doesn’t know what’s happening specifically,” Gretchen says quietly.

“Oh yeah,” Karen says. “Then yes. They’re going shopping for supplies today and told us to distract you. Confetti emoji.”

“Ah,” Cady giggles. “Yeah, I can go. I’ll meet you guys by the main doors after school?”

“Caucasian thumbs up!” Karen responds, pulling Gretchen away.

“Yeah, we’ll be there!”

-

“Okay, Sarkisian, what’s this wonderful idea you’ve had?” Regina asks.

“A picnic!” Janis says excitedly. “She wants something with food and something outside. We’ll have a picnic in the park.”

“That... actually doesn’t sound terrible,” Regina says. “So what do we need?”

“A big-ass blanket,” Janis responds as they enter a party store. “And food. And Caddy loves balloons, but we should get those on the day.”

“Who’s gonna make the food, Jan?” Regina asks.

“Jules can, she loves to cook. She’s been wanting to practice stuff anyway,” Janis responds, looking at their selections of plates.

“How is she?” Regina asks quietly. She hasn’t seen Juliana since she and Janis were twelve.

“She’s good,” Janis answers. “Tall as shit, little evil genius. She’s super smart and sarcastic and stuff. She’s big into writing now, too. How’s Kylie been?”

“I... She... I’m...” Regina stutters. “She’s a good kid, but she’s turning into a little version of me. I’m trying to stop her before she gets to where I was.”

Janis hums sadly. “Well, at least you’re a better role model for her now. And you’re both getting the help you need. Kylie was the sweetest little thing last time I saw her, I don’t think she can get to your level.”

“I hope not,” Regina mumbles. “Cady likes yellow, right? We could do white and yellow, that would be cute.”

Janis gets the sense they’re done talking about their families for a reason, now. “Yeah, yellow is her favorite. We could go buy some white sheets from somewhere for cheap and then do yellow plates and shit.”

“Done. I’m buying,” Regina says, grabbing several packs of plates and napkins.

“No! She’s my girlfriend,” Janis protests. “I’m paying.”

“Jan, just let me have this.”

“Fine. ‘S your money,” Janis grumbles.

“Thank you.”

“Hmph.”

-

Cady, unfortunately, has study hall as her last class of the day in the English wing, so she has to rush to meet Gretchen and Karen by the entrance to the school.

She’s so excited to be spending time with them that she almost runs past them, managing to slow down just before she barrels into Gretchen.

“Hi, sorry,” she says breathlessly. “Who’s driving?”

“I will,” Gretchen offers. Riding with other drivers tends to make her anxious.

“I call shotgun!” Karen calls, already heading to the car. That leaves Cady in the back, which she doesn’t mind.

They put their backpacks in the trunk and hop in, Karen dancing along in her seat to the radio. Cady texts Damian on the ride there, since he had an appointment to check on his foot today. He’d been back in school starting that week, but was still stuck on crutches.

Little Slice: How was the doctor????

Big Slice: Good! I don’t have to use crutches anymore, I just have to wear a boot and go easy on it

Big Slice: No dancing for a while :(

Little Slice: Aw :((( You’ll be back to dancing soon though!!

Little Slice: And yay no more crutches!!!!!!!!!

Big Slice: Yeah now Pippa can’t trip me lmao

Big Slice: Wait aren’t you at the mall??

Little Slice: Yeah, we just got here. I just wanted to check on you 📷

Big Slice: Aw, thanks Cads

Big Slice: Go have fun I’m all good

Little Slice: Okay. Love you 🥰

Big Slice: Love you too, go eat pretzels 🥨

Little Slice: 📷🥨

She chuckles and shuts her phone off, following after her friends into the mall. “Are you guys wanting anything in particular or are we just here for fun?”

“Both!” Karen cheers. “We should totally buy you an outfit for your party. But I also want frozen yogurt.”

“Oh, I didn’t bring any money,” Cady remembers. “But you guys should have fun, I’ll just hang around.”

“No, it’s our treat. We haven’t paid anything for your party,” Gretchen says.

“You guys don’t have to do that,” Cady mumbles. She’s slightly embarrassed by all the attention she’s been getting lately.

“Money bag emoji, let us buy you stuff, Cady. We’re both pretty rich,” Karen says.

“Yeah, come on. Frozen yogurt and one outfit from, like, Forever 21 or something isn’t that expensive anyway, Cades,” Gretchen adds.

“Okay, fine,” Cady begrudgingly agrees. “Let’s do yogurt first, I’m hungry.”

Karen takes both their hands and hauls them towards her favorite shop.

Once they’re sufficiently full of yogurt and toppings, they head to find an outfit for Cady. Gretchen wanders off for a second, leaving Karen and Cady to browse some racks. She comes back with a beautiful white sundress, patterned with yellow flowers.

She shyly approaches Cady, offering the dress. “What do you think of this?”

“Oh, Gretch, this is so pretty! Let me go try it on, it’s beautiful,” Cady squeals, rushing towards the changing rooms. It’s a soft cotton, with a pretty tight bodice and a skirt that flares at her waist, and ends just above her knees. Gretchen seems to have remembered her sizes from their plastic days, the dress fits perfectly.

She opens the curtain to go show her friends, both of them clapping happily and squealing as she spins around. It’s different than it was when they went shopping last year. She can tell their reactions are genuine, rather than just trying to appease her.

“What do you think?” Gretchen asks shyly.

“Gretch, it’s perfect. It’s so soft,” Cady says, looking at herself in the mirror. It has short sleeves, so she might get a little chilly, but she can steal a jacket from Janis. “And, I can wear it to graduation too. It’s beautiful.”

“Oh, good,” Gretchen breathes. She’s working on not needing quite so much external validation, but it’s a slow process.

“You look hot,” Karen adds, making Cady laugh.

“Thanks,” She says, kicking up a heel. “Do you guys want to come over? Watch a movie or something?”

“Totally, that would be fetch,” Gretchen says.

“I’m so glad you still say fetch,” Cady giggles. “Let’s go!”

—————-

A few days later, Janis is typing the final few slides of Cady’s project as her girlfriend lays in her lap and dictates.

“And... you’re done,” Janis says as she enters the last few words. “Now we just need to proofread it and cite your sources.”

“Mmh,” Cady whines. “I hate citing stuff.”

“I hate it too,” Janis says, leaning down to kiss her gently. Cady rests a hand on the back of her head, keeping her close and kissing her back. Janis gives in for a second, before she resists and pulls back. “Stop trying to seduce me into letting you slack off, Peanut.”

“Fine,” Cady huffs as she sits up, still in Janis’ lap as she enters all her sources. “There.”

Janis turns her around to face her. “Good job, baby.”

“Thank you for helping me,” Cady says contently as she nuzzles into her. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much,” Janis hums. “Have you thought of anything to get for Damian, by the way?”

“A couple things,” Cady says. “He mentioned something when you guys were telling me about Phillip last year, um... an... uh-“

“Edible arrangement?” Janis asks with a chuckle, remembering the story.

“Yeah! What are those?” Cady asks.

“They’re like flower bouquets but they’re made of fruit, so you can eat them,” Janis replies.

“Oh. We could make one of those? Does he like them?”

“That would be cute,” Janis says. “He likes fruit a lot, I don’t see why he wouldn’t like one. They can’t be too hard to make.”

“Don’t say that, you’ll jinx us,” Cady jokes. “We should decorate a little vase to put it in, too.”

“Sounds like a plan, Butterfly,” Janis says. “Are you excited for Sunday?” She and Regina had finally gathered everything they would need, and decided to have the picnic on Sunday so Juliana would have Saturday to prep the food, with the assistance of Regina and their moms.

“Yes! I can’t wait to see what you guys came up with,” Cady says happily. “I know it’ll be perfect.”

“Good,” Janis says as she leans in to kiss her. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Cady teases.

“No way. I love you most.”

“Well... I love you... moster.” Cady stumbles, making them both laugh.

“Okay, fine, you win for today,” Janis chuckles.

“Ha! I win,” Cady says. “My prize is cuddles.”

“I can live with that.”

——————-

Sunday finally rolls around, and Janis is shaking with excitement. She’d spent the day before with Cady, putting together Damian’s thank you gift while Regina and Juliana spent the day cooking at her house.

She and Cady had both wound up absolutely covered in paint from trying to decorate the vase they had picked, and painted a Broadway stage on. Once they had scrubbed most of it off, they decided to start prepping the fruit, neither of them quite understanding how to turn a cantaloupe into a flower. Eventually they got the hang of it, putting together a rather lovely arrangement. Damian would like it, at least.

Cady had mischievously decided to chuck a melon ball at Janis once they had finished putting everything together, so Janis had thrown a grape back. Eventually every piece of the extra fruit they had had been thrown at someone, and they had a delicious mess to clean up.

Her jacket had also gone missing, which was slightly concerning. She had planned on wearing it to the picnic as well, but is wearing a backup since it never turned up.

“Janny. Breathe,” Juliana demands. as Janis is frantically running around trying to make sure everything is in place. They’d bought cheap white sheets and stitched them together to make a massive blanket, which is spread over the soft grass, and bought yellow balloons which are weighing the blanket down at the corners.

Juliana had truly gone all out, prepping almost all of Cady’s favorite foods. All sorts of sandwiches, chocolate covered strawberries, a cheese board, pink lemonade, and even an adorable froggy cake.

“Okay,” Janis says as she teases a deep breath. “You really did a great job, kid, this stuff looks great.”

Julie beams up at her as Janis pulls her into a hug. “Thanks, Janny.”

“Yeah, Jan, chill. Everything’s fine, just wait for your girl,” Regina says, adjusting a bunch of balloons.

“Okay.”

She doesn’t have to wait long, as Damian shows up about ten minutes later with her blindfolded girlfriend in tow. So that’s where her jacket had gone.

He leads Cady to a good place, where she can see the whole spread, before he unties her blindfold.

Cady gasps excitedly, taking everything in for a split second before she runs to jump into Janis’ arms. Janis spins her around as Cady giggles happily, grinning down at her. She pulls Janis down into a kiss as soon as she’s on her feet again, wrapping her arms around her neck and pressing the lips together sweetly.

“Janis, this is beautiful, I love it,” she says as soon as they break apart. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, baby,” Janis says quietly, leaning down to kiss her again. They only remember they’re not alone when everyone starts making gagging noises, Juliana somehow already on Damian’s back. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cady whispers, giving her one more peck before going to thank Regina and Julie. Regina begrudgingly accepts a hug, and Julie grins happily as Cady wraps her in a tight hug and kisses her cheek. Once that’s been handled she looks around a little more, smiling widely. “Should we give Damian his thing now?”

“Sure,” Janis says, heading to grab it as Damian does a lazy waltz with her sister. He only has to wear the boot for a few more weeks, luckily. “Dame!”

“What? Aww!” He squeals when they hold out his homemade fruit bouquet. “This is so cute.”

“It’s a thank you present, for telling us we were both being idiots but in a nice way,” Janis replies. “Neither of us want to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been there to talk us down.”

“Aww. I should become a marriage counselor, if I get this kind of stuff every time,” Damian says, eating one of the melon flowers. He gasps with exaggerated drama as they both lean in to smooch one of his cheeks at the same time, pressing a hand over his heart.

“Thanks, Damian,” Cady giggles.

“You’re welcome. When do we get to eat?” Damian asks, cradling his bouquet.

“Once everyone else shows up,” Regina answers, coming over to join their conversation. “Speak of the devil.”

Cady peeks around Damian to see who else has arrived, going to greet the Mathletes, along with Karen and Gretchen with a hug.

She spends the picnic chatting with everyone, but also spends a lot of it stuck close to Janis. She’s either hugging her, in her lap, or holding her hand throughout the whole thing. It’s cute.

Cady and Janis stay behind after everyone else goes home to clean up, deciding to have a moment to themselves first. The sun went down a while ago, so they cuddle up on the blanket and look at the stars.

“I love you,” Cady says quietly after a while, rolling on top of Janis.

“I love you too,” Janis responds as she pulls her down into a kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Cady whispers, ghosting the words over Janis’ lips. “Today was perfect.”

“I’m glad,” Janis says. “Now kiss me.”

Cady obliges, cupping her face to kiss her as Janis rests her hands on her waist. Janis flicks her tongue at the seam of her lips, moaning quietly when Cady lets her in and their tongues meet.

They both know they should get to work soon, but for now their responsibilities are allowed to fade into the background. The picnic was wonderful, but not quite worth almost losing one another.

They lose the world in each other, tasting the universe on each other’s lips as the stars twinkle just for them above their heads.

All is well.

-

hope you enjoyed! this was a prompt fill for Hayeena and Aubrey_Plaza_Stole_HappiestSeason on ao3.

also, translation for the Swahili: ndege wangu mdogo wa wimbo: my little songbird. I have no idea if its accurate, I don't speak Swahili.

requests are still open! please leave them either here, on my ao3 or on my wattpad. all are the same handle, maybeimamuppet.

lots of love,

ezzy

[spicedcinnamoncake]

Clouds  Pairing: George Weasley x Hufflepuff Reader!  Summary: You always found clouds to be peaceful, big puffy balls of fluff just drifting across the sky. George often saw you sketching them from the Quidditch bleachers when the Gryffindor team practiced. Who is the mysterious person with a sketchbook? TW: fluffy 💕  3.6k words

  ‘Dang it!’ You stormed into your dorm and tossed a roll of parchment paper onto your bed. You followed it and buried your face into a pillow. How could you have failed Flitwick’s test? Again? 

  You had spent so many endless nights studying for that test only to fail it. You pressed your face into the pillow and screamed. Life is so unfair. 

  You needed to cool off, let out some steam before you burst. You grabbed the leather notebook from under your pillow and a quill and went outside. The quidditch pitch in particular. 

  The clouds were large and puffy, with faint purple outlines that showed against the china blue sky. You grinned when you saw that the bleachers were empty. You climbed up the stairs to the top and plopped yourself down in a seat in the middle of the row and flipped to a blank page and began to sketch the outlines of the clouds. You immediately felt calmer, watching the clouds drift and feeling the slow motions of your hands as they sketched out the clouds in small delicate strokes made you feel at ease.

After about half an hour of sketching, you heard some noises coming from the Quidditch pitch. The Gryffindor team was setting out for practice. You were slightly annoyed that the silence had faded, but other then that you didn’t mind. You had sketched many times while while they teams practiced, and as long as you didn’t get hit in the face with a ball you didn’t mind. 

  The sun was starting to go down, casting beautiful golden rays of light that bounced off the clouds. You pulled out a small pack of colored pencils and began to add some color to the picture. Reds, yellows, oranges, slight shades of purple... 

  “WATCH OUT!’ 

  You whipped your head up and screamed as a bludger was coming right at you. You closed your eyes and prepared for impact, when you heard a bang. 

  ‘You alright?’ 

  Your eyes peeked open. A boy with flaming red hair was hovering on a broom in front of you. The name ‘Weasley’ was plastered on the back of his jersey. 

  You recognized the beater as George Weasley, he had a slightly rounder face then his twin Fred, and was a bit taller too. His brown eyes gazed into yours and you blinked away shyly. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You had had an attraction to the younger Weasley twin for some time now, and the fact that he just saved you like a knight and shining armor made you think that you were dreaming.  

  ‘I-I’m ok I guess. thanks’. You said it all in a rush. George just smiled and held out his hand. ‘George Weasley. You are?’ 

  ‘Y/N Y/L/N.’ you replied, shaking his gloved hand. He held your hand tightly, and your fingers just seemed to click together. 

  ‘I always see you up here. What do you do up here anyways?’ 

‘Just draw.’ you said, showing him the sketch you were working on. 

  ‘Wow, that’s really good! I-’ 

  ‘Ay George! Come back down mate!’ 

  George turned his head back down to the field. Wood was waving him down. He turned back to you and smiled. ‘I got to go, see you around’

  And with that he flew back down. You blinked. What had just happened? Why do you kind of want to throw up? What the heck brain? 

  You began packing up your stuff and put it in your bag. Looking at the finished picture in your sketchbook, you thought of how messed up your face would be if George hadn’t come to your rescue. 

  You smiled at the thought of his smiling eyes and comforting voice. You quickly brushed it off when you realized the sudden blush that was slowly filling up your face. The thought of George occupied your thoughts all throughout the evening, more then usual, like your feelings towards him had just gotten stronger. That is, until your best friend Cedric called your bluff. 

  ‘Y/N, what’s up with you? Your awfully quiet today. Anything wrong?’ Cedric nudged your shoulder, pulling you away from your thoughts. ‘What? oh, I’m fine Cedric. Anyways how was that game against Slytherin?’ You blurted this out all at once trying to change the subject. Besides, you were being silly. You just caught George’s attention, talked to him for about fifteen seconds, and you were already getting butterflies for the boy. Why was this happening? It makes absolutely no sense. 

  ‘Come on Y/N, I know somethings up. Spill.’ You sighed. Cedric looked at you with pleading eyes and you couldn’t say no to him. You drew a deep breath and told him all about your near-death experience and how George had saved you. You ranted about how you have had caught the feels for him in third year but you wanted yo ignore it. Cedric nodded, and chuckled at how red in the face you were. You elbowed him in the chest and proceeded to pick at your food. ‘Come on Y/N, that’s perfectly normal. Don’t stress about it, do something to take your mind off it.’ 

   You sighed and considered his words. ‘Thanks Ced, i needed to here that.’      But the feeling didn’t leave you. You wanted to disappear into the sky and turn into stardust, just floating amongst the stars and planets. 

----------------------------------------------time skip-----------------------------------------------   You clutched the folded paper in your hand, peeking at the drawing you finished yesterday. You had scrawled George’s name across the bottom with a ‘From Y/N’ on the top. You drew a breath and walked over to him in the hall. You two had potions together and you wanted to see if you could catch him before class. You gingerly walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. He was much taller then you, and when he turned around you instantly felt your knees weaken. 

  He smiled at you and brushed his red hair out of his eyes. Your heart fluttered. ‘Hey, your Y/N right? good to see you again.’ He grinned at you. You noticed the significant amount of freckles around his nose and splattering on his cheeks. You snapped out of your daze and cleared your throat. ‘Yeah, that’s me. I uh, just wanted to give you this.’ You shoved the paper into his chest and dashed off. What the heck was that! Rude... You mentally scolded yourself as you entered the potions classroom. 

  George opened the paper and grinned. He ran his fingers over the outline of the beautifully drawn clouds and traced the colored lines. The contrasts of blues yellows and purples all blended beautifully together. He smiled at the name scribbled on top and smirked. 

  ‘Ay Georgie! What have you got there?’ Fred came up from behind George and slapped him on the shoulder. George quickly stuffed the paper into his robe and turned around. ‘Nothing Fred, what’s up with you?’ 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  You couldn’t stop stealing peeks at George during potions. At once point you caught his gaze and held it. His brown eyes staring into your Y/E/C eyes. 

  The weeks had gotten longer and more frustrating as your crush on George Weasley grew stronger. Every single wave or “Hello” in the hallways made your heart flutter. Cedric has been telling you and telling you over and over to just ask him out or something, or else your feelings will just keep eating at you until something bad happens. 

  ‘Fine, if you won’t do something about it then i will.’ Cedric concluded, taking another sip of his pumpkin juice. Your face turned red and you shoved him. ‘Ced, please don’t do anything.’ Your nose scrunched up with embarrassment. ‘There’s nothing you can do to stop me Y/N, i can and i will talk to him for you.’ 

  Merlin. If Cedric did do anything about the matter, you would give him the biggest hug ever after chasing him around Hogwarts with a hippogriff. 

  You needed to cool off and get your mind off of things for a while. Curfew wasn’t for another hour, so you still had time. You grabbed your sketchbook and went back to the quidditch pitch. Nobody had practice around this time, so you decided to lay right in the middle of the sand. 

  You sighed as you opened your book to a blank page. You tried sketching a hippogriff from memory, you had seen them in many books about magical creatures and always found them fascinating.

  You heard footsteps crunching in the sand behind you. Tensing as you turned around, your shoulders went weak as you saw the tall figure hover above you. ‘Mind if i sit here?’ George asked, pointing at the space next to you. 

  ‘S-sure, go ahead’. George grinned and sat down next to you in the sand, causing a small cloud to rise from the ground. He smelled like evergreen, with a hint of cinnamon. His brown eyes shined in the late sun. He peered at your sketch book and you blushed furiously as he looked up to you. ‘wow, that’s really good. Hippogriff right?’ 

  You brushed a lock of hair out of your face and swallowed. ‘y-yeah. They are really amazing creatures.’ 

  ‘i bet,.’ You racked your brain for something clever to say, but all you could come up with was , ‘so what are you doing out here?’ George turned to you and looked down, making eye contact. ‘i was taking a walk. Plus, a little birdie told me you would be out here.’

  Cedric. Dang it Ced. 

  You felt your chest tighten. George started to talk more and you found yourself talking back. You quickly felt comfortable around him, and he seemed to notice. You two talked for what seemed like forever. You showed him how you sketched, and he seemed really interested. 

  ‘I really liked that picture you gave me, your brilliant at art Y/N.’ You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you smiled. ‘Just a little thank-you gift for saving my face the other day.’  George smiled as you giggled. The bell for curfew rang and you sighed. ‘dang it, time to go already?’ 

  ‘aw, miss me already?’ George poked a finger at your shoulder and smirked. You rolled your eyes and smiled. His cheeks were slightly pinker then before, but you brushed it off. ‘Maybe’. You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek before gathering up your stuff and skipping out of the quidditch pitch. you looked calm, but your mind was buzzing and your heart was racing like a machine that was given too much horsepower. 

  Had you really just done that? Did you just kiss George Weasley? Well, it wasnt exactly a proper kiss but it was still a KISS. 

  You ran into the hufflepuff common room and pulled Cedric into the hallway and threw your arms around his shoulders. ‘Thankyou thankyou thankyou!!’ 

  Cedric hugged you in return and laughed at how red your cheeks were. ‘Mind if you could set me up with Cho?’ 

  ‘with what you did for me, i’d convince her to date you for all i care. Thanks Ced.’ 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  You and George had been seeing each other a lot more since that day on the Quidditch pitch. He even bothered to walk with you to a few of your classes. It made you feel special. You liked the way he teased you in the halls, not in the annoying way, but in the sweet way. You noticed how sometimes he got flustered when you slid your hand into his or when you playfully punched his shoulder. His cheeks got considerably redder when you were around, and you noticed it. 

  You guys became friends, but Cedric kept calling it “Friends with benefits”.   You always blushed hard when he said that, but you still liked hearing it. You thanked him nearly everyday since he told George about you in the quidditch pitch. You managed to return the favor and got Cedric a date with Cho to Hogsmeade. 

  ‘Speaking of which, she asked me if i wanted to go with her again next weekend’ Cedric said, beaming. You two were by the fire in the Hufflepuff common room trying to get through some herbology homework. Your ears perked up at this news. ‘Dang Diggory, you scored her.’ Cedric laughed and suddenly got flustered. ‘I uh, may have told her that you and George would come with us...’

  You stopped writing, quill hovering above the parchment as you turned your head slowly to Cedric, like a dog looking at it’s prey. 

  Cedric laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. ‘i may have told her it was going to be like a double date...’ You huffed out of your nose and threw a pillow from the sofa at his head. Everyone looked at you before going back to their own things. 

  ‘Ced what the heck! why would you tell her that!? Oh merlin i’m going to have to ask George myself now aren’t i? What if he says no or i screw up or-’ 

  Cedric pushed a pillow in your face to shut you up. You huffed and resumed writing your parchment. ‘I’ll ask him tomorrow. Hope your happy Diggory. 

  ‘Never better Y/L/N.’ 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------      You took a deep breath as you went up to George. He smiled when he saw you. ‘Hey Y/N, ready to go?’ He was walking you you to potions like he did every morning. You made conversation before dropping the question. 

  ‘Hey, um, George? Would, would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade?  Cedric is going with Cho and he invited us to go with them... if you want to obviously.’ You stammered this out as quickly as possible, blush creeping up onto your cheeks as the redhead looked down at you. He simply grinned and slid his hand into yours, intertwining your fingers in his own. His hands were soft, and held onto yours firmly. You felt safe in his grasp. ‘Of course i’d love to go with you, Y/N.’ 

  Your heart fluttered and you felt relieved. You had been so worried that he would say no or think that you were some sort of weirdo. It’s like a weight had been lifted off your chest. Wait, are you overreacting? Maybe- 

  The day for the Hogsmeade trip finally rolled around, and you woke up with butterflies. You had planned your outfit the night before and got dressed after waking up. You wore a gray T-shirt with your favorite muggle-band name plastered on the front. You slid into your jeans and laced up your boots before grabbing a sweater off your bedpost and going down to the common room to meet Cedric. He looked good in casual clothes, you were so used to either seeing him in his robes or in his quidditch jersey. 

  ‘Dang Ced, you look different’ you smirked, eyeing the nervous look in his eye. ‘so do you Y/N. come on, our dates are waiting.’ he winked and you rolled your eyes, but smiled nonetheless. 

  Cho looked amazing in her cream sweater and pleated skirt. She linked arms with Cedric and they began talking. George looked amazing- all chilled and casual. He had on loose jeans and a T-shirt that had the gryffindor symbol on it. 

  He blushed as you walked over to him. ‘wow. you look amazing’ he took your hand in his own, and you giggled and blushed. Maybe Ced was right about being friends with benefits. 

  The four of you walked behind the rest of the group, laughing and talking about school and lessons. After practically emptying your pockets at Honeydukes, you went to the three broomsticks for butterbeer. You loved how the warm beverage tasted in the crisp autumn air. It Felt so cozy in the three broomsticks, warm drinks, friends, resting your head on Georges shoulder....

  wait what

  You snapped your head up and turned red. ‘Y/N, you alright?’ Cho asked, taking another sip from her mug. you looked up and nodded your head vigorously before looking down at your boots. George squeezed your hand before leaning over and whispering; ‘it’s alright, i don’t mind it.’ 

  You looked up and smiled, resting your head in the crook of his neck. The afternoon wore on and before you knew it it was already time to start heading back to school. You were sad that the day was ending, but you had had such a wonderful time you didn’t dwell on it. 

  Cedric went to go walk Cho to her dorm, and George walked you up to yours. You invited him up into your dorm but he politely declined, saying that he had to go to a meeting for quidditch that Wood was holding in the Gryffindor common room. You didn’t mind, you understood perfectly. 

  ‘well, it was nice spending the day with you, George.’ you said before slipping into the hufflepuff common room. George grabbed your arm before you went all the way in a pulled you back outside, running his hand through his hair nervously. ‘something wrong?’ you asked, eyes widening as he gulped. 

  ‘i was just wondering if you would  meet me in the garden tomorrow before dinner. like, like a date maybe? just you and i?’ he asked, nervously chuckling at the end. he looked down at his boots before you cupped his face and pulled him in for a quick kiss. Just a small, sweet kiss on the lips. Georges eyes widened and kissed you back. You pulled away. ‘sure, its a date.’ you winked and then disappeared into the common room. 

  George was stunned. He stood there for a moment, rubbing his jawline were your delicate hand was moments earlier. He grinned and walked back to his own common room, blushing and smiling. Fred sure was going to have a laugh about this. 

  You dashed up to your room screamed into a pillow. You had no idea what came over you. You just, had the urge to do it. And the fact he kissed you back? You felt like you were on a rollercoaster. up, down, sideways, kiss a boy, up again, a long emotional train. 

  You couldn’t wait until tomorrow afternoon. as soon as your last lesson finished, you’d be at the gardens with George Weasley. Whee! 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next morning at breakfast you were practically bouncing in your seat. Cedric noticed, but didn’t poke any fun at you. He himself had been awfully quiet as well, maybe something happened with Cho? Probably, he was awfully red. 

  You stole a quick glance at George, who was eating by his brothers, Harry and Hermione. George looked up and caught your eye. He winked at you and smiled. Fred followed his eyeline and began to laugh. George elbowed him and you giggled. Couldn’t time go faster? 

  Potions, charms, care of magical creatures, herbology, DADA, 

  Finally; the last lesson ended. You hurriedly packed up your quills and parchment and rushed to your dorm to drop them off. Once you caught sight of yourself in the mirror you stopped dead in your tracks. Sheesh, talk about bad hair. 

  After yanking on your hair for a bit, you dashed down to the stairs and outside. George was sitting on a bench near the shrubs. Once he saw you, he stood up and clutched your hand. ‘Didn’t think you would come’. you grinned and squeezed his hand. ‘wouldn’t miss it.’ You went to sit back down on the bench but George shook his head. ‘this is just the meet up place, not the actual location. That’s a surprise.’ 

  You grinned and let George lead you out of the castle and near the black lake. He put his hands over your eyes and walked behind you, leading you to this mysterious area. It was grassy for one thing, you felt it scratch against your ankles as you walked. ‘You aren’t planning on murdering me are you?’ You asked playfully. He just laughed.

  ‘Almost there, don’t worry.’ George said as he loosed his grip on your eyes. He pulled away, allowing your vision to adjust. you blinked rapidly, adjusting to the soft sunlight. There was a checked picnic blanket spread out in the grass near the black lake. It was simple, sweet, you loved it. You turned around to see George nervously running his fingers through his hair again, which made him look cuter. You smirked and ran over, hooking your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. You felt his arms wrap around your waist and you buried your face in the crook of his neck. You felt his hands slide under your knees and he picked you up. 

  You laughed and pulled away, looking down at him. George was smiling from ear to ear. He put you down and you guys walked over to the blanket and sat down. ‘I was thinking about how much you told me about clouds, so i found this spot so we could watch them together.’ he said, slipping his hand into yours and squeezing it. You grinned and lay down next to him. The clouds were beautiful. 

  George propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you. You smiled as he stared into your eyes and brushed a strand of hair out of your face. ‘Y/N, i need to confess something... i really, REALLY like you, and i have wanted to tell you that for so long. would you- would you perhaps want to be my girlfriend?’ 

  George looked so nervous it was cute. You put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. ‘of course i would, you dummy. i like you too.’ 

  He smiled widely, and leaned in to kiss you, while the clouds drifted above your heads. This, was the most perfect setting you could ever imagine. 

[starshine583]

Le Paon Part 8

(Hey, guys! Here’s another chapter of the Le Paon AU. I’m going to try to update this every two weeks now- since weekly updates were a mess for me. Please tell me what you think, and if you want to keep reading!)

Part 1 / Part 7 / Part 9

“‘Change tactics’? What do you mean?” Felix asked, sparing Nathalie a glance. She seemed to be in a bitter mood that evening, more so than usual. 

“Just that.” Gabriel said, regaining his attention. “Ladybug is too cunning to challenge her head on. We must come up with another strategy. One that under-goes her suspicions and exploits her weaknesses.”

Felix frowned. Does Ladybug even have a weakness?

“What do you suggest?”

His Father smiled, and he resisted the urge to flinch. 

“I’m glad you asked.” Gabriel all but purred. “Ladybug, should she activate her Lucky Charm, has a five minute time span before she detransforms. Normally she runs off to hide before that happens, but if you were to follow her long enough..”

“I could discover her identity.” Felix finished.

“Exactly. Knowing Ladybug’s identity would surely give us the advantage.” 

Felix nodded. They could practically waltz into Ladybug’s house and take her miraculous if they knew who she was, and once Ladybug was defeated, Chat Noir wouldn’t be far behind. 

Speaking of the Alley Cat..

“How do we get past Chat Noir? I imagine he won’t just let me run off after Ladybug.” He questioned.

Gabriel hummed. “You’ll just have to be subtle, then, won’t you?” 

Felix held back a scoff. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Obviously, Father hadn’t thought through this plan completely. 

Nevertheless, Chat Noir would merely act as a bump in the road. He was certain he could find a way around that furball.

“Yes, sir.” Felix said. “I’ll find out her identity as soon as I can.” 

“The sooner the better.” Gabriel remarked, before gesturing for him to leave.

Felix moved to exit the room, but Gabriel spoke again as he opened the door. Something about his tone sent a chill through Felix’s bones, and whether the words were meant to be supportive or not, Felix found himself speed-walking to his room after the door closed.

“I know you won’t disappoint me.” 

~~~~~~

Marinette held her breath, trying to keep steady. Still, the needle trembled between her fingers. She tisked in annoyance. One would think that keeping their hands steady during sowing would get easier after years of practice.

Easy.. She told herself, her tongue slowly slipping past her lips as she tried to concentrate. Just a bit more to the left and-

“Ugh!” 

Marinette flinched, causing the needle to poke through the fabric and prick her finger. She hissed, pulling the needle away from her dress and sticking her injured finger into her mouth. 

“Oh, sorry Marinette.” Allegra apologized, sparing her a guilty glance. “I just can’t believe I missed that epic ice fight yesterday! It would have put my blog’s ratings through the roof!” 

“But your ratings are already booming.” Marinette pointed out, wiping her finger on a handkerchief. “Didn’t you get a picture of Ladybug saving Le Paon?”

“Yeah, through frosted glass.” Allegra sighed. “People could easily call it a hoax.. And you’re sure you didn’t get any pictures either?” 

Marinette shook her head. “We got stuck in the ice rink when the frost hit.” 

Allegra rose a brow. “‘We’?”

“Oh, yeah. Alya and I went together, and she invited the Agrestes.” Marinette replied, not thinking much of it. 

She didn’t notice the coy smile that curled onto Allegra’s lips. 

“Felix was there?” 

Marinette nodded, feeling a bit of heat come to her cheeks at the thought of him. By the time they finished ice skating yesterday, Felix and Marinette had practically been hugging each other. It wasn’t until Alya started taking pictures that she actually let go. The fact that she didn’t want to step away from him only worried Marinette more. What if she really did have feelings for Felix? He seemed to enjoy spending time with her, but did she honestly have a chance when it came to love? Marinette was a baker girl, and Felix was the heir to an enormous fashion company. He probably had girls lining up for his affections just like Adrien did, girls who were far prettier than her and a much better fit for someone like him. No, she and Felix could never be together in a romantic sense. Despite what Alya thought, some people just worked better as friends than lovers. This was obviously one of those times.

“Mari, I’ve been thinking..” Allegra spoke again, pulling Marinette from her thoughts. “Why don’t we plan a study date together? I know this really good cafe that serves the best lattes-”

Marinette perked up at the mention of lattes. She loved those heavenly drinks.

“-and it’ll help me be a little more productive while we talk about ‘Birds of a Feather’.”

“I don’t see why not.” She shrugged, sticking her needle into her pin cushion. “Would Saturday work for you?”

Allegra smiled. “Perfect! We can meet at the Laduree cafe around noon for lunch?” 

Marinette stood up. “Can you do four? I need to help out in the bakery first.”

“Four’s good.”

“Great! I need to get going now, if you don’t mind. The suns going down, and I was hoping I could get some sketching in today.”

“Oh, sure, but why do you need to go outside to sketch?” Allegra asked, slipping her purse over her shoulder.

“It helps keep my inspiration flowing.” Marinette shrugged. She then scooped her sketch pencils and erasure into her “art bag” and shook her bag around so she could fit her sketchbook inside as well.

“Huh.. that makes sense. I’ll see you tomorrow at school then!” Allegra said with a wave before flipping open the trap door.

Marinette returned her wave with a smile and took a few extra minutes getting the last of her things together before following her friend down the ladder. 

“Maman, I’m going out to sketch!” She called over her shoulder as she passed the cash register.

“Alright, sweetie! Be back in time for supper!” Sabine called back from the kitchen.

Another wave to Allegra, and she was out the door, strolling down the sidewalk and thinking up a few designs to start when she got to her favorite sketching spot. Hopefully it would take her mind off of the whole Felix business.

~~~~~~

“Alright, a little to left!” 

Adrien moved to the left as told, trying to hold his pose while doing so.

The cameraman frowned and shook his head. “No, no, show me a smile! A smile! Surely you can do better than that, Monsieur Agreste.”

Felix rolled his eyes as Adrien’s smile widened. He was trying too hard to look happy. Of course, Felix wouldn’t be happy either if he had to do multiple photo shoots two days in a row. Maybe he should look up some of the child labor laws in France. This much work on a fourteen year old couldn’t possibly be legal. 

The photographer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, something is still missing! Let’s change the scenery. Maybe that will get your sparkle back.” 

As soon as the camera was off of him, Adrien’s shoulders sagged. He looked exhausted.

“You know, I could always have Father rearrange your schedule for rest.” Felix offered, extending his cup of coffee to him.

Adrien refused the drink, but gave a half smile at the thought of an easier schedule. “Thanks, but you know he’d never agree to that. If I start complaining, he might pull me out of school.” 

“It’s not complaining. It’s called ‘Mental health’.” Felix replied, taking a sip of the coffee himself.

“He’ll still pull me out of school.” 

“Come! Come!” The photographer interrupted, gesturing for the boys to follow him. “We must hurry if we are going to finish!” 

Reluctantly, Felix and Adrien climbed into their car, where they were driven to another park across town. 

-

The Trocadero Gardens. Felix had seen it before in passing, but he’d never visited the park for some reason. Maybe he’d just been too preoccupied with his books.

The car rolled to a stop, and the boys barely had time to unbuckle before being ushered out of the car.

“No time to waste!” The photographer stressed as he set up his camera again.

Felix sent the photographer a glare. This guy was literally getting paid by the hour. What was he rushing for?

Adrien- good little doormat that he was -walked over to stand in front of the fountain as the photographer instructed. 

Felix opted to wander around the park instead. Why watch your little brother waste away in the model industry when you can enjoy a nice afternoon at a new park? It seemed like a waste to stay put, if you asked him.

The park wasn’t all that large, but he found it refreshing anyway. There was a mother taking her baby for a walk in a stroller, a man taking his dog for a walk, and another man who appeared to be feeding pigeons. Felix didn’t recall that being allowed there.

Oh, there’s even an artist here. He thought, seeing a young girl on the concrete steps across from the fountain. She held a pink notebook in her lap, and appeared to be very engrossed in what she was doing as she scribbled across the page. Her tongue was sticking out and everything. The only other person he knew that did that was..

Wait.

“..Marinette?” He said, a bit hesitant at first. When she looked up, though, Felix had no trouble walking over to her.

“Felix? What are you doing here?” She asked, eyes wide with surprise.

Felix smirked. This girl was too adorable.

“Adrien is having a photo shoot.” He answered, gesturing behind him to the cameraman. “You look busy. Should I leave you to your work?” 

“Oh, no, no. It’s- um -I’m just working on some sketches, so..” Marinette stuttered, fiddling with the edges of her notebook.

Felix nodded and mouthed an “ah”.

“Do you mind if I..” He trailed off, motioning towards the spot on the stairs next to her.

Marinette straightened. “Oh! No, of course not. Please.” 

“So what are you working on? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.” Felix asked as he sat down.

A smile graced her lips. “Not at all. I wasn’t working on anything specific. Just a few things that popped into my head.”

She tilted the notebook, and Felix leaned closer so he could get a proper view. The first sketch on the left was what looked to be a thin, transparent dress clipped around a solid sheath dress. The picture was only half-way colored, but he could tell she was aiming for a colorful creation. The transparent fabric would be a brilliant rainbow color lined with silver, and the sheath dress would be a deep shade of red to compliment it. The second sketch on the right looked just as promising, though it wasn’t colored yet. It was a casual outfit: Jeans, high-heeled ankle boots, and a blouse with vertical stripes and bell sleeves. 

“They look wonderful.” He commented, lightly touching the edge of the page. “I can’t wait to see them in a fashion show.” 

Marinette pulled the notebook away. “Oh, I don’t know about a show. I mean, I love designing, but these are just doodles, really.”

Felix couldn’t help giving a soft smile. Sometimes it was hard to tell if Marinette was just too humble or too insecure. Maybe a little bit of both. 

“You should come over again sometime.” He hadn’t meant to say out loud, in all honesty, but he certainly wasn’t going to take it back now that he had. Felix rather enjoyed her last visit, more so than he would ever admit out loud.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.” He added, suddenly getting the urge to look at the ground instead of her. “I don’t know if we’ll be able to talk with him personally, but I’m sure Father would love to see more of your work.”

Marinette smiled bashfully. “That sounds great. Thank you.” 

Felix let out a breath, relieved. “You don’t have to thank me. With talent like that, you were bound to be noticed eventually, whether I introduced you to Father or not.”

An adorable blush bloomed across her freckled cheeks as she turned back to her notebook. How can something so small make him feel so light? 

“Woah, Marinette! You’re here too?” 

The moment was interrupted by none other than Adrien, who either just finished his shoot or convinced the photographer to let him take a break. Judging by his outfit- the usual black shirt and white jacket with jeans -Felix was going to guess the former.

“Oh, hi, Adrien!” Marinette greeted brightly. “I just came here to get some sketching done. How was your shoot?” 

“It was fine.” Adrien replied, leaning over her to get a glimpse of the pages. “Those drawings look awesome! I wish I was that talented.” 

Marinette flushed again and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “T-Thanks, but it’s really just practice..” 

Adrien chuckled. “Believe me, Mari, I could practice for years and not be able to come up with those designs.” 

“I can’t say I disagree.” Felix spoke up. 

He learned too late that that was a mistake.

Adrien turned his gaze to Felix, a predatory-like smile coming to his lips. “No, I’m sure you can’t. How did you two run into each other, again?”

Felix held back a glare. Barely. “If you must know, I stumbled upon her by chance while roaming the park” 

Adrien hummed. “‘By chance while roaming the park’.. I guess that’s convincing enough.” 

Felix scoffed, but Marinette giggled.

“Marinette, it was nice seeing you, but we should probably get going. If the shoot is over, Gorilla should be in the car waiting for us.” Felix said, getting to his feet. Better to leave now than let Adrien keep babbling nonsense.

“You’re not going to try to stall to see her longer?” Adrien asked, thankfully in a lower tone this time. Felix nudged him in the side in retaliation. That boy was just begging to be locked out of the mansion later.

The two waved goodbye to Marinette, and Felix made sure to hold Adrien with an iron grip as they made their way back to the car.

“Have you no shame? She’s going to think that we’re complete idiots. At the most, you’ll make her extremely uncomfortable.” Felix scolded.

Adrien laughed. “Relax, Fe. Marinette obviously doesn’t mind. She even laughed!”

Felix tisked, though he couldn’t deny it. Marinette did laugh.. But that didn’t necessarily mean she enjoyed his implications. He wasn’t sure what it meant. Did she like him back? Was this her way of hinting that Adrien was right? Or was she just being polite as usual?

He shook his head. What was he thinking! He didn’t even feel that way towards Marinette! Or.. he wasn’t supposed to. Argh! Adrien’s teasing is starting to get into his head.

“Hey, look on the bright side.” Adrien said, noticing his brother’s annoyance. “I’m sure she thinks you look cute when you’re angry.”

“Shut up.”

~~~~~~

Claude hummed a little tune as he walked into the classroom. It wasn’t everyday that he got to class early, but this was a special request via Allegra. And when Allegra asks you to do something, you do it. 

He sat down at his assigned desk, paying no mind to the classmate or two that walked in after him, and took his tablet out of his bag. After turning it on, he pulled out another textbook, placing it neatly next to the tablet. A simple set-up, but it should do. Now all Claude had to do was play the part.

The bell rang through the halls, prompting more students to file into the classrooms. Felix came stalking in not a minute later, the exact time Allegra said he would.

Showtime.

Claude groaned as loud as he could and dramatically flopped onto the desk. “Oh, it’s hopeless! It’s all just hopeless!” 

He heard Felix sigh.

“What’s your problem now?” The blonde asked tiredly, moving Claude’s arm to the side as he sat down. Not as much sympathy as he was hoping for, but- hey -it was Felix. What did he expect?

Claude rolled to the side, letting his head fall on Felix’s shoulder and throwing his arm over his face. “It’s Chemistry. I just can’t understand any of it! No matter how hard I try, or how much I study, the formulas make no sense! I’m going to fail this class.”

Felix tisked towards his wailing and moved over, causing Claude to fall back onto the bench. “Maybe you should try paying attention in class.”

Claude rubbed the back of his head with a pout. This guy really was heartless. How did Marinette get him to be so nice?

“I do pay attention. It doesn’t help. You’re a straight-A student. How do you do it?” He continued as he sat back up.

Felix rolled his eyes. “It’s not hard. Just listen, take notes, and do the reading. Simple.” 

“Felix~.” Claude whined, falling back onto him again. 

As Felix started pushing him off, Claude noticed Allegra and Allan walking in. Allegra caught his eye briefly and gave him a subtle yet satisfied smirk.

Claude gasped, abruptly straightening in his seat. He needed to finish this soon or class was going to start.

“Hey, I know! You can tutor me!” He exclaimed, as if he’d just been given an epiphany.

“Absolutely not.” Felix replied flatly.

“Aw, come on, Fe.” Claude pleaded, even batting his eyelashes. “It’ll just be one little study session! All you have to do is check my work and tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Felix glared. “I said no. Why don’t you have Allegra help you?”

Allegra tilted her head back to look at them from her assigned seat. “Can’t. I’m busy tomorrow.”

“Who said anything about tomorrow? Study with him another day.” Felix said, pulling his tablet out of his bag.

“Oh, don’t be so cold.” Claude frowned. “What if I take you to your favorite coffee shop?”

Felix paused. “The Laduree cafe?”

Claude perked up. “Yep! You can get anything you want, and all you have to do is explain a few simple terms to me.”

“Or I could just go by myself.” 

Claude scoffed. “Just take the deal, please.”

Felix gave him a skeptical look. That was a good sign, right?

“Fine.” He finally relented. “When do you want to study?” 

Yes! 

“Tomorrow’s good. Say around..” He trailed off, glancing at Allegra. “Noon?”

Allegra shook her head and held up four fingers.

“Er- four. I meant four. Let’s meet up at four tomorrow.” 

“Mhm. Sure. Just don’t be late.” Felix replied, already going back to his books.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Claude assured as the last bell rang. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

Felix didn’t respond, but if he would’ve bothered to look up, he would have caught Claude and Allegra giving each other a quiet high five.

Mission accomplished.

This was going to be fun.

~~~~~~

Marinette slid into the booth and set her backpack against the wall. She then brushed off the bits of flour sticking to her sleeve. Even after changing, the powdery substance still managed to infect her second outfit. At least it was one of the smaller bags that she dropped this time. How can she save an entire city as Ladybug, but not be able to make a simple batch of cookies without wrecking the kitchen as Marinette? Sometimes she wondered why her parents had her help in the bakery at all, if you can call that helping.

“Thanks for meeting with me today, Marinette.” Allegra said, putting one of her textbooks on the table.

Marinette smiled. “Of course. A study date is definitely something I need, and I always enjoy our time together.”

Allegra put a hand to her chest. “Aw, so do I! What do you want to do first? Study or talk about ‘Birds of a Feather’?”

Marinette glanced down at her backpack in thought. They had a test coming up next week, so they definitely needed to study at some point. If they did, though, she’d want it to be fresh in her mind. 

“Mm, let’s talk about the blog first.” She decided. 

“Perfect!” Allegra beamed, pulling the app up on her phone. “There hasn’t been an akuma for three days. That means that one is bound to show up soon, since Hawkmoth doesn’t normally wait a whole month for akumas.”

Marinette nodded, genuinely impressed. Allegra’s reports were always so detailed. It didn’t surprise her that Alya was threatened by the competition. 

“Like I expected, people are claiming fraud on my pictures. I think the few pics Alya got for her blog are the only reason I’m not being swarmed by haters. We need to get a lot of good pictures during this next battle or I’m going to start losing followers.”

“How do you suppose we do that?” 

Allegra pressed a few buttons on her phone, before flipping the device for Marinette to see the screen. Multiple videos were splayed across the screen, each showing a different area of the city.

“We’re always having trouble getting the footage because we have to run around the city, right? Well, the way I see it is: why bother racing around to get one, blurry photo when we have all the cameras we need already?”

Marinette furrowed her eyebrows. “Are those.. Security cameras? How did you get access to these?”

Allegra pulled the phone back, a smug expression making its way onto her features. “Let’s just say I borrowed the little tech genius from your class.”

“Max?” Why would he agree to help with something like that? Tampering with the camera systems was illegal!

“Allegra, I’m not sure about this.” Marinette said. Not only could they get in serious, legal trouble for this, giving Allegra access to the city’s security cameras could also jeopardize her identity. What if she landed in the wrong alleyway, and Allegra caught her detransforming on tape? What if she already had?

“But it’s such a good idea!” Allegra tried to persuade her. “With these, we’ll be able to catch tons of video footage for Le Paon without lifting a finger!” 

Marinette sighed. “This isn’t right. What if the government found out? Mayor Bourgeois would be furious. How long have you been doing this?”

Disappointment flicked across Allegra’s expression, but she turned the cameras off. “Only since this morning. I thought it was a good idea, too.”

Marinette slumped back into her booth seat, feeling the rush of relief. 

“So, no on the security cameras.” Allegra concluded, setting her phone on the table dejectedly. “I guess we’ll just have to keep getting as many pictures of him as we can.” 

Marinette hummed. Security Cameras definitely weren't an option, but they couldn’t run around Paris like they had been, either. Something needed to change..

“What if we made a tag.” She suggested. “Like an akuma or Le Paon tag. That way, when someone saw Le Paon or an akuma, they would tag us.”

And Ladybug and Chat Noir will get more warnings before an attack.

Allegra brightened. “Oh yeah! That’s pretty close to security cameras. Maybe other people can get pictures for us too.” 

Marinette nodded and started typing out the ideas on a memo from her phone. She didn’t want to forget what the tag names would be. 

They started brainstorming what names to use, but the two only got a few names in when a gasp interrupted them.

“Woah! What are you guys doing here?”

It was Claude, and he seemed extremely enthusiastic about seeing them for some reason. 

“Are you guys studying? What a coincidence! We are too!”  He exclaimed as he reached behind him and pulled someone else forward. 

Marinette’s eyes widened, recognizing them immediately.

Felix glowered at Claude, until his eyes landed on Marinette. She felt her heart rate pick up as they stared at each other. First, the park, and now, the cafe? Why was she suddenly seeing him everywhere? It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but..

“Wow! What are the odds?” Allegra said, bringing Marinette from her thoughts. “Since we’re all here, why don’t you guys study with us?”

“Wha-?” 

“Oh no, we couldn’t.” Claude replied, though he was already sitting down next to her. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course we’re sure! Aren’t we, Marinette?” 

Marinette faltered at the sudden question. They both looked so expectant and eager. It was a bit unnerving, to be honest. She glanced at Felix, who seemed equally astonished- and a little annoyed, but she was told that he always looked that way.

“Uh.. sure. You guys can sit with us.” She finally answered.

“Thanks, Mari, you’re the best.” Claude remarked as he reached for one of the menus. 

Felix remained standing, apparently indecisive about what to do.

“Take a seat, Felix.” Allegra prompted, flashing him a sharp smile. “It’s rude to linger.”

His lips twitched in a scowl, but he sat down as he was told. Why was he so upset? It wasn’t because of her, was it?

“If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to sit with us.” Marinette assured, trying to sound as understanding as possible.

Felix met her eyes again at the comment, and his expression softened.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll stay.”

“Great!” Claude grinned. “Now we can all study together.” 

Marinette smiled for Claude’s sake, even though she still felt nervous on Felix’s behalf.

Everyone got out their respective books- Chemistry, History, and English -and started studying. Felix grumbled a few pointers to Claude, who wrote them down with an all-too-pleased expression. Allegra would occasionally ask Marinette to check her work, and, in turn, Marinette would ask Allegra to quiz her on a few terms. A waiter came by with their drinks not long after. Marinette made sure to set a sweet aside for Tikki.

“So how’d you guys end up here?” Marinette asked as she sipped on her latte, simply making polite conversation. 

Claude, of course, was the first to answer. “I bribed Felix into tutoring me by bringing him to his favorite coffee shop.” 

“Oh, this is your favorite coffee shop?”

Felix nodded. “It’s close to the library that I fancy. The Cappuccinos aren’t bad either.”

Marinette hummed. “I wouldn’t know. I prefer lattes, myself.” 

“Would you like to try it?” He offered, gently pushing the cup towards her.

Marinette took the cup with a “thanks” and carefully brought the hot drink to her lips. The boldness of the coffee taste threw her at first, though she couldn’t say that she disliked it. A hint of sweetness caught her attention too, despite the liquid being mostly bitter. It’s not something she would usually order, but overall..

“Not bad.” She decided, pushing the cup back over to Felix.

Felix gave a small smile as he pulled it back. “Told you it wouldn’t be.”

Marinette giggled. “I’ll have to get one next time I come.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll see you here. Then I can get your latte.” He replied lightheartedly.

Marinette smiled, fighting down another blush. At least she knew that she wasn’t the reason for his discomfort. 

“I’d like that.”

~~~~~~

Felix slipped his books into his bag and tucked his pen and pencil into their respective pockets on the side. The fact that he stayed here for three whole hours with those hooligans should be considered an accomplishment. He swung his bag over his shoulder, looking out the window for his car as he did. With all of the street lights, it was almost hard to tell that the sun had already set. The slim line of dark blue above the building across the street was his only confirmation of the night’s presence. 

He glanced down at Marinette, who was now curled up on her booth seat, head tucked in her arms on the table, fast asleep. She’d lulled off around ten minutes ago, which is why they decided it was time to leave in the first place. 

“Don’t stare too hard.” Claude smirked. 

“I can take a picture for you if you want.” Allegra teased.

Felix shot them a glare, his irritation from earlier resurfacing in his mind. “Don’t patronize me. What the heck was this, anyway?”

Allegra smiled innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Don’t act like you two didn’t set this whole thing up!” Felix snapped.

“Now, now, let’s not get riled up. We wouldn’t want to wake sweet Marinette.” Claude said in a hushed tone.

As if on queue, the ravenette let out a yawn, before cuddling back into her crossed arms.

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Allegra commented as she picked up her book bag. “You two had a good time.”

“You even got an indirect kiss.” Claude remarked.

Felix flushed. “Wha-”

“And you got a second date.” Allegra added.

His blush deepened. “Date? Second? What are you two even talking about?” 

The pair snickered.

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know.” Claude sang as he nudged Felix in the shoulder.

Felix scoffed and went to retort when Allegra spoke again.

“Welp! We’d better get going. Be a dear and make sure Marinette gets home safe, will you?” 

How she wormed her way around him, he’ll never know, but Allegra and Claude were out the door before he could even refuse the request. It’s not that he minded taking Marinette home. It’s more of that he’d just about had enough of those two meddling in his personal affairs. Didn’t they have anything better to do with their lives? 

Probably not. He thought, moving to Marinette’s side so he could wake her up. She heaved a sigh, blowing a bit of her bangs to the side as she did. She looked so peaceful. So delicate. It made him want to let her sleep forever. 

Felix brushed a strand of her hair to the side, lightly tucking it behind her ear so it didn’t bother her. Round, black earrings gleamed under the cafe’s lights. They were a bit plain for a fashion designer. Maybe they were special to her somehow.

“Mari.” He said softly, giving her shoulder a small push. “It’s time to wake up. I need to take you home.” 

Marinette hummed and shifted on the booth. “Mm.. yes, Le Paon, you should go home.. Come back tomorrow, though”

Felix reeled back, heat rushing to his cheeks. Did he hear that right? Was she.. was she dreaming about him? (Or, dreaming about Le Paon.) Either way, it sounded like she wanted his alter ego to come visit again.

He shook his head, and nudged her a second time. Now was not the time for bashfulness.

After a few tries, she finally woke up enough for him to walk her outside. By then, Gorilla was already out there and waiting for him in the car. He opened the car door for Marinette, then walked around to his side once she was settled in.

“Take us to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery, please.” 

Gorilla nodded and pulled onto the street. Felix leaned back in his seat, still thinking about what Marinette had said. Granted, she’d said it in a dream-induced state, but that just meant she dreamt about him, right? To dream about something, you’d have to think about it often. How much does she think about Le Paon? About him?

A light weight sunk into his shoulder, effectively cutting off his thoughts and seizing his heart. He didn’t have to look down to know what it was. Marinette. She was sleeping. On his shoulder. She must have forgotten to fasten her seat belt. When did she move so close to him? Should he wake her up? That would be the polite thing to do..

Felix shook her shoulder slightly, but she only snuggled further into his arm. He was about to shake her again, when he paused. She looked so cute, and the way she leaned on him felt.. Nice. He didn’t want to wake her up. He.. he liked it. 

Oh gosh, he liked it. 

Felix sucked in a breath. 

Calm down. It’s not like you haven’t been this close before. He told himself. They’d practically hugged each other at the ice rink the other day, though he didn’t feel the way that he did now. 

His thoughts flicked back to that time when he first went to her house as Le Paon, when she held his hand and looked at him with a quiet understanding. He’d felt something then. It was..anxiety..and excitement. An odd eagerness that yearned to be explored. Moments like these- in the quiet of the night and the vulnerability of their hearts -were the ones that resonated within him the most. He couldn’t help wondering if he would feel it now. If he just moved his hand a little closer.. Would he be able to..?

Felix ripped his hand away and took another deep breath. Marinette was asleep right now. He couldn’t go around touching people like that while they were unconscious, even if it was a simple hold of the hand. 

He pushed her back onto her side of the car- careful not to wake her up too much -and buckled her in so she wouldn’t fall again. They dropped her off a few minutes later. She was a bit disoriented, but thanked them nonetheless and got out like nothing had happened. Felix wondered if he would be able to act the same way when he saw her again. 

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[myblacknightworld]

NiNi’s Flower Fluff June

Prompt n. 29, soft purple lilac

AO3 previous next

@june-of-flower-fluff   did I do this right this time???

It had been during the last days of summer, when Marinette had met Tim. She was enjoying the last few days of freedom and warm weather before being forced to sit on a desk, when she’d stumbled upon Tim. Literally. 

Neither of them were watching where they were going: Marinette was drawing on her sketchbook, and Tim was busy taking photos of his surroundings. They had crashed into each other, and Marinette, being the lightest between them, had ended with her ass on the sidewalk and her sketchbook laying at Tim’s feet. 

“I’m sorry!” she’d told automatically, without raising her eyes from the feet in front of her. “I wasn’t looking at where I was-” When she finally did raise her eyes to look at the person she’d run over, Marinette had been greeted by a stretched hand and concerned blue eyes. “... going...”

“Are you okay?” The stranger’s face was pretty, and it wasn’t something she’d ever thought of boys, but his was. Marinette didn’t even notice she was staring until he coughed slightly. 

Immediately she shook her head, “Uh... Yes! Thank you!”

She grabbed his hand and let him lift her from the ground, then he crouched and picked up her things.

“Here.” He told her. “And uh... sorry, I wasn’t really uhm... watching my step either, so... uhm... sorry again...”

In a flash, he had turned and basically ran away. Marinette stood there watching him weave his way through the crowd.

Marinette met him once again the following day. She’d just entered the bakery, walked in right after a customer. Her mother was behind the counter, but she was busy with another customer, old Mme. Guillard from two doors down the street, and she’d only waved at her in greeting.

“Hey Mari, please come help!”

She’d nodded, running to join her mother. 

“Hello, what would you like?”

When she had raised her face to talk to the new customer, the same blue eyes from the day before had met hers with twin surprise to hers. Her voice got stuck in her throat.

“So your name’s Mari?” 

That was not what she was expecting. That was definitely not what she was expecting. He was looking at her, well, he was trying to look at her without looking like he was trying to.

"Actually it's Marinette…" she told him sheepishly. "But anyway, how can I help you?" 

He brought a hand to his neck, embarrassment clear on his features, as he looked at the multitude of pastries they had on display. "Uhm… I think… uh… maybe… a mille-feuilles? Please?" 

She nodded, "Sure! Take away or eat here?" 

"Uhm… take away, please. I'm Tim, by the way… I’m here for uhm... studying? I’m staying a few months... And you’re the first nice person I’ve met so like... uhm... yeah..."

After that she’d shooed him away with a - if she didn’t know herself better, she would’ve said fond - smile and a promise of “come find me if you need a tour guide!”.

As it turned out, he’d held her to her promise readily, since the next morning he was at the bakery’s doorstep at nine sharp. Marinette smiled at him from the glassdoor of the bakery, and waved at him to come in. 

“Hey! Didn’t expect to see you this soon!” she greeted him, “How’re you?”

Tim smiled at her, a smile as bright as the sun, and shrugged. “Pretty well, thanks. You?”

Marinette shrugged, “Pretty good, all things considered! Finished a project last night, so now I’m free to start on that dress I’ve wanted to do for ages, you know?” 

“You make your own clothes?” There was awe in his voice, and Marinette would be lying if her ego didn’t boost out the roof at that.

“Yup! I finished this shirt yesterday, what do you think?” Marinette did a twirl to show off her work, then smiled back at Tim. 

“Looks awesome! You could do this for a living, you know... I’m pretty sure you’d be rich in like, a year and half.”

“And why only a year and a half?” she asked while they walked out of the bakery, “I bet I could be rich in under a year!”

And Tim laughed at that, quietly, but he laughed. “You’re so on for that bet!” 

Marinette only grinned.

Marinette spent that day and the following week dragging Tim around Paris. The city wasn’t small by any means, and there were lots of pretty unknown places she wanted to show him, like that one small square behind the historic centre, or that one perfect tea house near Nino’s place, and of course all the most prominent attractions, like Notre Dame and the Tuileries and the Tour Eiffel. And Tim was a delight to show around to, always with questions ready in his mouth and his camera seemingly rooted to his hands and ready to take the most unexpected shots. 

She had asked why he didn’t take classic photos of classic monuments and such, he had smiled, and then had turned to take a photo of a squirrel holding a nut in his little paws. They were at the Tuileries, that day, to spend the afternoon lazying around: Marinette was defining some details for a sketch she hadn’t had the time to finish in the past few days, and Tim was writing something on a notebook.

“My photos,” he had said, “they’ve got unusual angles and subjects because I try to capture the hidden beauty of the world. Beauty is subjective, of course, but there are some things we’ve been conditioned to think are beautiful because society found them agreeable with its standard of beauty. I like to think that’s only the surface. Sure,” he had added then, “some are undeniably aesthetically appealing, but they’re not beautiful. Only pretty.”

Neither of them spoke after his confession. 

One day, suddenly, Tim disappeared. It had been the last day of summer holidays, and they had planned to meet to go spend the afternoon at the Louvre, finally, but Tim wasn’t at the meeting point. Marinette had waited, and waited, and waited, until she’d understood that no, Tim wasn’t going to come, and she had gone home. 

There was an envelope waiting for her on her desk. 

“It was in the mailbox.” her maman told her when she asked, “And it’s for you.” 

There was a note, inside. 

Marinette, I’m sorry for bailing on you today, but

unexpected circumstances have led me to have 

to leave France in a hurry. I’m really sorry for 

not telling you anything firsthand…

Hope we can still be friends, 

yours,

Tim

P.s. I’ve finally found my favourite photo and subject 

Inside the envelope there were a few pressed little flowers, purple lilacs, if her memory didn’t fail her, and a photo. And Marinette widened her eyes, a fond smile playing on her lips, at the sight of herself working on a design, tongue sticking out of her mouth and brows furrowed in concentration. Her eyes fell on the small flowers, wondering why among so many, he’d chosen those.

[orangeoctopi7]

Return

All the excitement and time in the sun yesterday meant Ford slept soundly through the night. He had no visits from Bill, nor any dreams. The rising sun woke him as it shone through his window. 

Ford got up and dressed in a rush. He may have had a good time with Stan at the lake yesterday, but that didn't mean he wasn't annoyed with his brother for prohibiting study of that mysterious tooth. The researcher hoped it was still there this morning, but he also knew the supernatural had a tendency to disappear after its first sighting, even here in Gravity Falls. But even if it was gone, he needed to get back to that beach and check for any traces of weirdness.

However, waiting for him at the front door was Stan. Ford was shocked. Stan never got up this early! And yet here he was, already dressed and looking like he'd been up for a few hours.

"You were going to go check out that tooth without even having breakfast first, weren't you?" Stan asked with a raised eyebrow, blocking the front door.

"So what if I was?" Ford asked indignantly. "I'm an adult, I can skip breakfast if I so choose!"

Stan rolled his eyes and shoved a donut into his brother's hand. "Here, at least eat something on the way."

"Where did you even get this?"

"I stopped on the way back from running an errand this morning." Stan smiled smugly. "There's a pretty good bakery on main street. I know you haven't been there, because nobody said 'Hey, you're that mysterious loner scientist who lives out in the woods' while I was there."

Ford's face flushed as he scowled and pushed past his brother to the door. Stan followed him out, jangling his keys.

"You need a ride?"

"Or, you could give me your keys and let me drive myself."

"Not happening."

Ford grunted with frustration and squeezed between the wall and the passenger side of the car. "Why did you park so close!?"

"Because I'm not lettin' some tree monster get the Stanlymobile! Just wait in the driveway, I'll pull up to you."

Ford's irritation with his brother grew as they sped off to the lake. Stan's inexplicably smug attitude this morning didn't help.

Stan hadn't even put the car into park before Stanford was out of the door and dashing down the lakefront.

"H-hey, wait up a sec!" Stan called after him.

"Well then you should Keep up!" Ford shouted back, smiling at the irony. He stopped short when he rounded the hill and found the tooth. It was still there! And it was covered in webbing. The researcher's jaw dropped as he took a closer look. It looked just like the fibers produced by his web shooters.

"Stanley, did you--?"

"Hah, you should see the look on your face right now!" Stan chortled in reply. "That is so worth waking up at five in the morning for! Well, that and the twenty dollars you owe me."

"What? I wasn't being serious!"

"Hey, I warned you! I said you should know better than to bet against me."

Ford groaned, but he couldn't help but smile. He just couldn't stay mad when his brother had gone through the trouble to secure a paranormal specimen for him.

The researcher began sketching the tooth in his journal right away, as Stan began pulling off the strands of webbing so his brother could see the thing better. After the preliminary sketch was done, Ford brought out his instruments and began taking measurements. First of the tooth's dimensions, then of the residual radiation, spectroscopy, and other weirdness indicators. He used a chisel and some dental floss to pry off samples for later study. Ford's initial theory of this giant tooth being a result of the size-altering crystals proved to be wrong; the spectroscope readings were all wrong. He'd need to do more investigating to find another feasible theory.

The hours flew by as Ford investigated the tooth, the beach, and the lake, looking for more clues to where the thing could have come from. Something was different from yesterday, but he had a hard time putting his finger on what exactly that something was. He walked back toward the beach where they’d been playing yesterday, trying to jog his memory. That’s when it dawned on him. Yesterday, this part of the beach had opened up into the open water of the lake, with plenty of room for swimming and swinging. Now, there was a small island just off the shore, close enough that Ford was sure they would’ve been able to swing to it on their longest jump yesterday.

The researcher immediately pulled out his Journal and began sketching again, a new hypothesis forming in his brain. Was it possible that the giant tooth came from a living island?

He was so caught up in his studies that he didn’t even notice that Stan had left and come back at some point. But then his brother plopped a taco into his lap while he was trying to take water samples closer to the moving island, so Stan must have left to get lunch somewhere.

“Don’t forget to eat, genius.” He grumbled.

“Thanks.” Ford took a bite as he checked the electrolyte levels of the water. He watched a few bits of tortilla shells fall in, which were quickly snapped up by little fish. An idea burst into his head, and he chucked the remainder of his taco toward the island.

“Hey!” Stan cried.

“I need bait!”

“You need dinner!”

“...Don’t you mean lunch?”

“You skipped lunch, poindexter.”

Ford’s eyes widened. “What time is it?”

Stan glanced down at his watch. “A little past six.”

The researcher smacked his forehead. “Fiddleford could be back any minute!”

“Oh yeah.” Stan nodded. “I forgot he was coming back tonight.”

Ford gave one last glance back to  the lake where he’d thrown the taco just a moment before. All he could see were a few bubbles popping up. He turned away and ran back towards Stan’s car.

“Uh, you want me to web this back up? Maybe try and bring it back to the cabin?” Stan asked.

“No time! I’ve learned all I can from it, I’ll come back and investigate the island further at a later date. Right now, we need to get back home and before Fiddleford does.”

“Why is it so important you get home before him?” 

Ford gave a frustrated huff and he pulled his seatbelt on. “To get things cleaned back up! I don’t want any more comments about my bachelor pad from him.”

* * *

They got home with just enough time to clean up the kitchen and the living room when McGucket returned. The young inventor certainly seemed happier and more relaxed after his short vacation. However, something was bothering him. He had some important information to share with Stanford. 

“I know you’ve been eager to get back to work on the portal project, so I was doin’ some calculations while I was away.” He explained as he unpacked a stack of notebooks, his knee bouncing up and down rapidly, as it often did when he was agitated. “We got a problem! In order to create a polydimensional metavortex big enough to actually send somethin’ through it, we’re gonna need some sorta temporal displacement generator. That kinda technology doesn’t exist anywhere on Earth! Even if all the greatest scientific minds of humanity got together and put all their resources together to try an’ develop one, it’d likely take thousands of years!”

Ford smiled coyly. “The technology doesn’t exist anywhere on Earth, eh?”

“I don’t see what you’re smilin’ about, this isn’t the kind of setback we can just find a workaround for. We may have to abandon this entire concept!”

“We won’t have to abandon anything. I know where we can find a hyperdrive that should do the trick.”

Fiddleford just stared at his friend blankly for a few seconds. “...Is this some sort of prank yer brother put you up to or something?” He finally asked.

“Definitely not.” Stan answered as he entered the room. “My pranks are way better.”

“Stanley, were you eavesdropping on us?” Ford complained.

“Kinda hard not to when I’ve got super-hearing.” Stan shrugged. “Although I think it might be giving out on me. Did you just say you know where to find a hyperdrive? Like from Space Adventure?”

Ford looked around suspiciously, before beckoning his brother and McGucket to the hidden entrance to the secret lab. The entire ride down the elevator, the researcher did his best to maintain an air of mysterious silence. Stan and Fiddleford gave him odd looks the entire time. Finally, in the secluded privacy of Ford’s secret study, satisfied that there could be no more eavesdroppers, he sat his brother and his friend down on the couch.

“What I’m about to tell you will change your entire lives.” He said solemnly.

Fiddleford was waiting on bated breath, but Stan looked thoroughly unimpressed.

“Just over two years ago, I began mapping magnetic anomalies here in the Gravity Falls.” The researcher continued. “They all converged on a hilltop just south of the center of the valley. I hiked up there, my compass spinning, to try and find what caused the magnetic disturbances. What I found was…” He paused for dramatic effect, “a crashed extraterrestrial ship! Lake sediments and aluvium have buried most of it far underground, but the very top of the central dome forms this hill, where only a thin covering of topsoil and plant life hide it from view. I studied it for months before, well, I hit a bit of a roadblock in my studies. Luckily, I found a little help from a friend, and I was able to move forward with my research, but I haven’t had the time to return since.”

Fiddleford’s eyes were wide, and his fingers were curled through his hair. Stan’s expression was hard to read, but Ford got the distinct impression of concern from it. 

“Now, I’m sure both of you can understand why it is imperative that this information not be leaked to the general public or even worse, the government.” The researcher continued. “Outside the confines of this lab, you are to refer to this information as Crash Site Omega, whether in writing, speaking, or otherwise.”

His companions stared back at him blankly for a moment, just letting what Stanford had just dumped on them sink in.

“Sooooo…” Stan finally broke the silence. “There’s seriously a UFO buried under Gravity Falls?”

“Gah!” Fiddleford cried out as he stood suddenly, pulling out a couple of handfuls of hair in the process.

“Whoa, easy there, buddy!” Stan reached out to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, but McGucket turned away and began frantically pacing laps around the lab.

“I should have known this would set off his anxiety.” Ford said, torn between being amused and worried by his friend’s reaction.

“This explains… I knew he wasn’t crazy! ...And the fault gouge along the floating cliffs… the valley resembles an impact crater… no outlets… my whole life I wondered… and if any of the technology could be salvaged…!” The inventor muttered to himself as he continued to pace, occasionally tugging at his hair. 

“Ford, I can’t believe you’ve been sittin’ on this for two years!” Stan exclaimed. “If you went public with this, you’d be world famous!”

“Yes, and then the government would cordon this entire valley off and I’d never be able to visit the site again. Either that or I’d suddenly have to compete with thousands of other scientists coming to study it themselves. I’m not going public with this information until I’ve learned everything I can myself. And I ask you to respect that decision, and not try to use this top-secret, world-changing discovery for some get-rich-quick scheme!”

“Hey, no danger of that here!” Stan threw up his hands defensively. “I get it! You think I want some government spooks showin’ up and findin’ out about my powers? Dragging me off to some super-secret lab and runnin’ experiments on me?” He chuckled, remembering where he was now. “I mean, I doubt they’d be as considerate as you guys have been.”

“Honey fogelin', saltlickin' skullduggery Stanford!” McGucket shouted, signaling the end of his pacing. “I cannot believe you have actual proof of not just extraterrestrial life, but that they’ve been here! I never told you about this when we were in college, ‘cuz I figured you’d think I’m nuts, but when I was little my grandma disappeared. Now, the only person there that night with her was my cousin Thistlebert, an’ he always said she was ‘taken by them saucer people!’ The police thought he was just crazy, but I always thought there had to be somethin’ to his claims. Thistlebert might not’ve been the sharpest tool in the McGucket family shed, but he wasn’t crazy, and he definitely wasn’t a liar.

“I can’t believe I never figured it out myself!” the inventor continued to ramble. “The shape of the floatin’ cliffs, the ellipse of the valley, the placement of the waterfall, the fact that there’s only one pass in or out of the basin… all the geography points to it!” He turned to Ford, an excited grin on his face. “I have so many questions!”

“You’ll be able to answer them yourself soon!” Ford assured him. “We can leave tomorrow. It’s a two day hike out to the only entrance up on that hill. We’ll need to pack plenty of camping supplies, as well as radiation equipment and gear to navigate the ship’s interior. That’s where you come in, Stanley. Your powers and the web shooters should help us explore more easily.”

“Wait, two day hike?” Stan asked incredulously. “You said it’s just a hill in the middle of the valley, why don’t we just drive? It only takes three hours to drive here from Portland, it can’t take more than one hour to drive to some place you can see from town.”

“It’s in the middle of a large cow pasture on a local farm’s property, there aren’t any roads up there.”

“Yeah, but there’s gotta at least be a road to the farm, right? Then we’ll only have to hike for a couple of hours, and not spend the night in monster infested woods.”

“Well, what better way to explore and find new anomalies to study!” Ford protested. “Every monster we find in those woods is another step closer to understanding why Gravity Falls is such a hot spot for weirdness!”

“I-I’m with Stanley on this one.” Fiddleford admitted. “I know the whole reason you came out here was to study them monsters, but I’m just here to assist in buildin’ yer portal project. I’d prefer to stay outta the monster huntin’.”

Ford deflated. He loved spending time out in the woods of Gravity Falls, finding new creatures and hidden places that no human eyes had seen for hundreds of years. He’d really be looking forward to sharing them with his friend and his brother… and honestly, he’d been looking forward to just camping with them.

“Well, it seems I’m outvoted.” he grumbled in defeat. “Especially considering I’m the only one among the three of us who doesn’t have a functioning vehicle. We’ll still need to pack the necessary equipment. In addition to the radiation gear and web shooters, we’ll need the magnet guns I developed from technology I found at the crash site. They’ll be necessary to scramble the ship’s security systems, but they’ll also be helpful for getting around. Just be careful not to aim them at the sky. I, uh, accidentally crashed one of the Northwest’s helicopters once. Luckily no one was hurt, and they could never prove I had anything to do with it, but I’d rather not have a repeat of that incident.”

USG’N NBIVR, ZFEUWR, C’CY DEDY JHII RIL TLCL AVG KS AUMR PSNL DBEWMYI ULRM.

[t0ngue-tech]

Up All Night

“Out of all the friends Seokjin made online, you were exceptionally precious to him for many reasons. One, you carried metal straws with you everywhere. Two, you both were majoring in the medical field. Lastly, to be frank, he liked you.”

↠ fluffy nonsense huhuhu, universityAU ↞

word count: 4.9k

↠ oneshot ↞

A/N: happy new year everyone! 2019 was a ROUGH year for me for so many reasons. i hope this new year will do me good. as a gift for the new year, here’s a little seokjin fic huhu. i hope your new years eve was a fun and safe one (im still hungover a little but im alive lmao) i also hope to put out more fics for you all to love! i love you guise so much! o and there’s a few maplestory references in this fic lol.

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Eatjean: I have no idea why it stopped working. I got this watch last week

Y0urnam3: i think you should just give it some TIME

y0urnam3: get it??????

Y0urnam3: cuz it’s a WATCH!!!

Seokjin slapped a hand over his mouth, but failed to stifle the broken laugh behind his hand. He ultimately released a squeaky laugh that almost had him in tears.

“SEOKJIN. I swear to--”

“Okay! Okay! I’ll log off, Yoongi. Relax.”

Besides studying for hours on end at his desk, Seokjin also spent hours playing an online game called Maplestory. He played for years and even if he was juggling his job, social life, and college, he always made time to play. Seokjin made a lot of friends all around the world through Maplestory and even a handful of his friends in college played. 

“Dude, you’ve been playing since 8:30. I have to solidify this lesson plan and I can’t concentrate with you laughing and slapping your desk every ten seconds.” Yoongi, Seokjin’s roommate, took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry, but y/n has been busy with school and we haven’t played together for a while.” Seokjin explained.

Out of all the friends Seokjin made online, you were exceptionally precious to him for many reasons. One, you carried metal straws with you everywhere. Two, you both were majoring in the medical field. Lastly, to be frank, he liked you.

Seokjin met you online through the Monster Carnival Party Quest around four months ago. Being in the last room of the party quest meant having a larger party with characters that had buffs and skills that could be beneficial to the entire team. Seokjin’s party was in need of a healer and happened to choose you, a cleric, to join the party.

For five rounds, Seokjin’s party dominated the party quest and when everyone came to the mutual decision to call it quits, everyone sent each other a buddy request and it all started off from there.

For the next few days, Seokjin found himself logging on around the same time you were online and the two of you spent time farming for mesos, helping each other out with quests, or doing rooms three and four in CPQ because the rooms only required a two-person party. This allowed you two to chat for hours, getting to know each other little by little. Of course, you both took precautions because it was the online world, anyone could be behind their screens and pretend to be someone they weren’t.

After almost a month of chatting as much as possible, you eventually began to trust Seokjin with more personal details of your life. You opened up by venting to him about how your ex-best friend decided to hook up with your newly broken up with ex-boyfriend. Seokjin easily related with you with the same story however, his story happened in high school and he found out himself because he found one of his ex-girlfriend’s blouses in his ex-best friend’s room. Seokjin understood your pain and became an emotional sounding board for you.

Even if Seokjin was your listening ear, the only other information that was shared was each other’s names and major. Honestly, Seokjin was curious about what you looked like, what your voice sounded like, but those things were privileged information that couldn’t be shared that easily. Looking each other up online probably wouldn’t be much help either because there could be a lot of people who had the same names and there would be no way to figure out for sure who was really you and vise versa.

No matter how curious he was, Seokjin respected your privacy and didn’t want to ruin the friendship he had with you.

“You make like you haven’t spoken to her in years.” Yoongi quipped as he typed away at his laptop.

“Just do your lesson plan, Mr. Teacher’s Assistant.” Seokjin laughed and launched a paper ball towards Yoongi’s direction. “I’m packing it in anyways. Y/n has an early class tomorrow.”

↠↞

There were multiple places you could’ve been and your 8 am class was definitely not your first choice.

Your professor for medical terminology had an optional 8 am course which you stupidly decided to attend. It wasn’t because you were failing, your future wouldn’t allow for that. Focusing and studying hasn’t been in your mind for a few days and you needed a refresher.

“Y/n, tell me, why am I even here right now?” Irene dropped her folder on top of the desk next to you and groaned. “I swear my bed was caressing me and begging me to stay.”

You yawned and tapped her desk. “Trust me. I also almost pressed snooze on my alarm but you promised you’d go with me and a promise is a promise.”

“Yeah, yeah, and you promised you were going to treat me to breakfast after this soooo…”

Fifteen minutes felt like four days. Your professor stood at the front of the class rambling on, clicking through his slides while everyone stared back at him with hollow eyes.

You glanced over at Irene who had half-lidded eyes and lazily swung her pen in between her fingers. She was probably daydreaming about the french toast and hot coffee from the diner across campus.

You found yourself doodling in the corner of your notebook with rough sketches of orange mushrooms, slimes, and a family of snails. The corner of your paper was starting to look like a miniature version of Henesys hunting grounds.

Forty-five minutes dragged on by and your professor finally let the class go. You and Irene both had a 10 am class which was why you promised her breakfast; to pass time and to have girl time.

“Are you sure I can order the french toast and waffles? We’re both broke ass college students, you know.” Irene handed her menu to the waitress and smiled.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. We haven’t hung out in a while, so it’s okay.” You assured her.

“That’s because you’re always playing Maplestory.”

Irene wasn’t wrong.

You didn’t mean to spend the majority of your free time cooped up at your desk with your eyes glued to the colorful images on your laptop screen. Some days your logged on to bust ass and level up, but other days you actually waited to see if Seokjin was going to log on as well.

“So, anything new with that Seokjin guy?” Irene sipped her coffee. “Did you ask for each other’s social media yet?”

The answer will always be no.

“I told you, Irene. There’s something about the ‘not-knowing’. Plus, it’s a mutual agreement between us.” You explained for the thousandth time.

“Yeah, but what if he’s a creepy dude trying to hit on you!”

Of course you thought of that, which was also a hidden reason as to you why you didn’t expose too much personal information about yourself. Seokjin only knew your first name, your major in college, and you were sure to change the names of any personal stories that your shared with him.

You made sure to be careful. Always.

“Seokjin has been catfished before on Maplestory and he said it was so embarrassing and painful that he never wishes anything like that one anyone.” This was a story that Seokjin hesitated to tell because of how embarrassing it was, but he knew he had to tell you because he didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about him. This was his way of showing you that he trusted you.

“Well, alright y/n. You’re a smart girl, don’t forget that.”

Classes seemed to fly by after breakfast and after a draining study group, you were eager to have some quality time with yourself.

When you fully logged into your Maplestory account, Seokjin was quick to greet you in the text box.

Eatjean: Y/n!!!!

Eatjean: How was class?

You smiled stupidly at your laptop screen.

Y0urnam3: seokjinnnnnn! classes were just as annoying as yesterday

Yournam3: my energy is at 5% right now

Eatjean: I think it’s bedtime for you

A pout formed.

Y0urnam3: nooooo i waited all day to talk to you

Your feelings for Seokjin wasn’t exactly subtle. You weren’t shy to type out things like “I love talking with you” and “I missed you, sorry I couldn’t play yesterday”. It took a lot of courage for you to do so, but you were sure the courage came from not knowing Seokjin face-to-face. If you were to see him in person after saying all of those things, there was no doubt you would shrivel up into an embarrassed raisin.

Seokjin took a little longer to reply than usual. Instead of seeing his screen name, a spam of a character selling a level 200 weapon for warriors filled the chat box instead. Maybe this was a sign that you needed to stop being so forward with him.

/

“Awww, okay then stay uwu.”

Seokjin scrambled around a blocked his screen with his hands. He whipped his head to the side and found Yoongi peering over his shoulder.

“Y-Yoongi, when did you get back?” Seokjin stammered.

“Just now. Aren’t you going to press enter?” Yoongi stepped away from Seokjin’s breathing space and took a seat on his own bed. “And what the hell is an uwu?”

“It’s a way to express, uh, extreme ador--no, just google it!” He learned the phrase from you a few weeks ago and at first, he was just as confused as Yoongi was.

Seokjin took another quick glance at Yoongi who was struggling to kick his converse off his feet and hit the “enter” key on his laptop. 

Within minutes, you replied.

Y0urnam3: OMG YOURE USING UWU ALJDFLKDJ

Eatjean: MY FIRST AND ONLY TIME

Y0urnam3: UWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU

Y0urnam3: btw can you help me farm for some mesos? I still can’t believe i got scammed yesterday

Seokjin didn’t do anything to hide the smile on his face. Why was the word “uwu” so amusing to him? It was probably because it made you seem a lot cuter than what he originally thought.

In the next hour, Seokjin met up with you help you gain back the mesos you lost. After everything, the two of you circled back to Henesys and stood at a random spot in an empty channel.

Eatjean: Brb ya boi needs a snack lol

He stood up from his chair and retreated to a small table in the room that he and Yoongi dubbed as the snack corner.

“Still playing?” Yoongi asked from behind his laptop screen.

“Yeah. We’re waiting for a few friends so we can LPQ.” Seokjin ripped open a bag of sweet corn balls, sending a few flying to the floor. Just as he bent down to pick up the pieces, he caught Yoongi’s eyes staring at him. “What?”

“I have literally no idea what you just said, but go off I guess.” Yoongi went back to typing away on his laptop. “Oh yeah, before I forget, you’re coming this weekend right?”

Seokjin took a quick second to think about what plans he possibly had this weekend, but nothing came to mind.

“What’s happening this weekend?”

“Dude, Jimin’s party? Penthouse in the city?”

It finally clicked in his brain that Jimin’s uncle lent Jimin his penthouse for the weekend as an early birthday present. Seokjin was invited last week along with Yoongi and they were given strict instructions by Jimin to clear their schedule for Saturday night.

Was it selfish for Seokjin to want to stay back at his dorm and talk to you all night? There was no doubt that Yoongi would agree to go because he has been complaining the entire week about “needing a fucking drink because fuck this lesson plan”. With Yoongi gone for that evening, that meant Seokjin could laugh to his heart’s content all by himself.

“I--” Seokjin dragged on. “I don’t know. I might just stay here and relax.”

“Relax my ass.” Yoongi said in a joking tone. “Seokjin, you’re going. It’s just one night out. Y/n is not going to disappear all of a sudden.”

Of course Yoongi was right. It was just one night off campus and having a drink with his friends was a plan that was long overdue. But Seokjin liked you too much, so it was normal to want to talk to you as much as possible.

Seokjin sighed quietly. An unnecessary battle between the two choices flooded his mind. Going to the party was obviously the answer that settled at the tip of his tongue.

But y/n… ugh but Jimin...

“Fine, okay. I’ll go, I’ll go.” Seokjin lifted his hands in the air in defeat. 

There was no point in telling you about the party because just as Yoongi mentioned, you weren’t going to disappear into thin air. Plus, Seokjin wasn’t your boyfriend. He had no business in telling you every single thing that he was going to be doing.

Eatjean: Okay, back

Eatjean: Sorry my roommate was just telling me about his day

Seokjin waited a few minutes before receiving your reply.

Y0urnam3: ohhhhh this is the teacher’s assistant right?

Y0urnam3: how was his day?

Y0urnam3: and how was yours too!! i forgot to ask lol

He smiled and danced his fingers along his keyboard.

Eatjean: That’s the one! And he’s in desperate need for a drink

Eatjean: My day was alright. We’re already preparing for midterms so that’s a bummer

After hitting “enter”, Seokjin pressed the F4 button on his keyboard making his character have a crying facial expression.

Talking to you was always easy. He never felt the need to force a conversation with you because you both shared the same interests and had an understanding school schedule. If there was a chance where he could meet you in person, he was so sure that it would also be just as easy.

For the next two hours, Seokjin aided you in farming for mesos until the party was full to complete a few rounds of the party quest. Even if his eyes may have gotten dry and his back was tight, he enjoyed the time he spent with you.

Y0urnam3: okay seokjin it is LATE and ya girl needs to sleep

Seokjin frowned.

Eatjean: Already T__T

Y0urnam3: i know in sory

Y0urnam3: im sorry****

Y0urnam3: ive been keeping all school related stuff on the back burner and i need to get accepted into the nursing program i told u about

“Ah..right.” Seokjin muttered to himself.

Eatjean: OH OF COURSE OF COURSE

Eatjean: Pls focus on school too!! Trying to become a cardiologist isnt a walk in the park either so i understand

Eatjean: Study hard and get some rest y/n

After receiving your reply filled with words of encouragement for Seokjin to also study hard, he finally shut off his laptop and flopped onto his bed. Since school was a huge priority for you, this probably meant you were going to spend more time hitting the books and using your computer for actual research purposes.

“If only we had each other’s instagram handles or something.” Seokjin groaned and waited for a response from Yoongi.

The room stayed silent and when he turned around, Yoongi was sitting in his chair with his head tilted backwards and had a red pen tucked behind his ear. His desk was cluttered with debris of papers and his laptop was wide open with what seemed to be an answer key.

Seokjin stared at his sleeping friend for a while. “Yeah. He needs a fucking drink.”

↠↞

“Okay, bitches. Clear your schedules. We are going to get crazy tomorrow..” A mutual friend of you and Irene, Seulgi, dropped her binder and textbook on top of the table where you and Irene were studying.

“Crazy?” Irene questioned. “Really?”

Seulgi dropped herself into the seat next to you and sighed. “No, I’m kidding. I just wanted to invite you guys to my dorm tomorrow to have a study session and a few glasses of wine.”

“Ugh. I’m in. I have been crazed this whole week and I need the alcohol.” You shut your textbook and rubbed your temples.

“Are you sure? You’re not going to isolate yourself and play Maplestory—and I mean that in the nicest way possible.” Irene reached over and clasped your hands with hers.

You laughed knowing there may have been notes of bitterness in her words. “Yes honey, I’m sure. Both Seokjin and I have mountains of work that we’ve been putting off so I don’t know when’s the next time we’re going to be online together.”

Seulgi raised her eyebrows and leaned closer to your shoulder. “And how is it going with Mr. Eatjean? Are you two going to get married in Amoria yet?”

You snorted and gently pushed Seulgi’s head away from your breathing space. To your surprise, Irene laughed along understanding what Seulgi was talking about; she never played the game but you talked about it so much with her that she caught on some of the terminology that was used.

Unfortunately, what you said was the truth. You haven’t been able to play Maplestory in a while and you really missed talking to Seokjin. It wasn’t easy being in the medical field, but you had to give your future career some of your attention at some point.

When Seulgi invited you two over for a study session, you imagined having a few glasses of wine while listening to jazz and getting a lot of work done. However, none of that happened.

Just when the three of you were settled in Seulgi’s room, almost ready to pull out the wine cork, Seulgi receives a very delightful phone call from a friend. Next thing you knew, you were carefully applying lip gloss in the backseat of an uber and Irene was racking her brain over whether or not she wanted to unbutton the first three buttons of her top.

“Ugh, just do it already! Jihyo is going to be there tonight that’s why!” Seulgi gently tugged on Irene’s hand who was holding onto yours. “And y/n, stop pulling the skirt down. That skirt was meant to be that short.”

“I know, but oh my God, the exposure!” You tugged at the end of the black pencil skirt Seulgi let you borrow.

“Sooyoung, should’ve let us know ahead of time about these plans.” Irene complained.

“At least this is way better than studying—hey, Sooyoung!” Seulgi called out.

Sooyoung met the three of you at the elevator and hastily rushed you all down the long hallway that was filled with gorgeous college students. You all entered a doorway that was also filled with students who were either already wasted or making their way towards that level. Some of the students were familiar to you and others were definite strangers; Sooyoung seemed to know most of them.

“Girl, where is your brother anyway? We have to at least greet him happy birthday first.” Irene tippy toed to get a good look of the people in the kitchen.

“He’s in here somewhere. Let’s just find him later.” Sooyoung began pouring vodka into shot cups while you poured sprite into four other cups.

“You know, I keep forgetting you have a brother.” You spoke over the mixed sounds of music and voices of people. “Why don’t you two just go to the same university?”

“Well, you know how it is. Siblings, different majors, scholarships, blah blah blah.” Sooyoung brushed passed the subject and handed out the shots and chasers. “Come on, you girls need to catch up, especially Irene because Jihyo looks hot as fuck tonight—to Jihyo!”

Sooyoung raised her shot cup and while you and Seulgi complied with the cheer, Irene begged you all to tune it down. Although she did mutter, to Jihyo, before gulping down her vodka.

You, Seulgi, and Sooyoung were huddled in one part of the living room to keep an eye on Irene who seemed to be a bit more confident in talking to her crush; all thanks to some liquid courage.

The entire floor was covered with people making it almost impossible to not bump into anyone.

“Oh! Sorry!” You yelled over music. “This place is so boujee! If I ever lived here, I would never leave.”

Seulgi laughed and nudged your shoulder. “Penthouse or not, you never leave your dorm anyway!”

“Ooh! Is it because of that game you’re playing? How is that dude-guy anyway?” Sooyoung slurred.

You scrunch your nose and helped your drunk friend sit down on a nearby chair. “How much did you drink before we arrive?”

Sooyoung gently tugged on your pencil skirt. “Answer me question. When are you and denim jeans getting married in Amoria?”

Seulgi threw a fit of laughter as she explained to Sooyoung that she said the exact same thing.

“We are not getting married in Amoria. We’re not even in a relationship.” You squished Sooyoung’s cheeks with one hand and took a sip from your mixed drink.

“But why not? It seems like you and sack-jeans are into each other. I say, date!” Sooyoung waved her red cup in the air and you and Seulgi did your best to calm her down. A drunk Sooyoung was something else.

“Honey, you need to relax. It’s only eight in the evening and for your information, his name is Seokjin and we’re just Maplestory buddies right now. We don’t even know what each other looks like.” You stroked Sooyoung’s hair and took another sip of your drink.

“Y/n, just listen to the poor girl and date him!” Seulgi let out a high pitch snicker and gave Sooyoung a high five.

Talking about Seokjin was definitely bringing your mood down. Maybe it was the alcohol messing with your emotions for than usual, but you really missed talking with him.

“Y-Y/n?”

You felt a tap on your shoulder and you spun around, making eye contact with one of the cutest guys you ever laid your eyes on. He wore a red t-shirt that hugged his broad shoulders and had jet black hair that was styled upward. If his eyes didn't catch your attention, his lips sure did. The only thing wrong with him was that he knew your name and you didn’t recognize him at all.

“Um and you are?” You questioned, readying yourself to perform some sort of self-defense.

“It’s me.” He gestured to himself. “Seokjin.”

↠↞

Seokjin weaved himself around the kitchen, trying to find a bottle of Grey Goose to refill his drink.

“Damnit, Jimin. How many people do you know?!” Seokjin grunted. “Oh, Joy! Pass me the bottle when you’re done.”

The already-drunk-sister of his friend gave him a thumbs up before filling up the last shot cup and slid the bottle down the counter. Seokjin tried to thank her, but her focus was immediately back to her friends.

“Dude, where’d you go?!” Yoongi bumped into Seokjin, almost making him spill his drink.

“Okay, I know you need this wild ass night, but please relax. This is my favorite shirt. It accents my shoulders.” Seokjin grabbed his friend’s cup to give him a refill.

“Hurry. Namjoon is freestyling in the living room and it’s fucking fire.” Yoongi nudged Seokjin’s arm to make him lead the way into the living room.

Seokjin was more than supportive of his friend’s desire to drink his stress away, but having to deal with Yoongi’s drunk ass plus a few more of his friends was making him wish he was back at his dorm, double clicking the Maplestory icon. But he had to admit, Namjoon was spitting bars.

“Oh! Sorry!”

Seokjin turned around to find one of his friends stumbling over, almost knocking down a group of girls.

“Good grief, Sandeul. Sit here, please.” Seokjin gently forced his friend to sit down on the couch in front of him.

Just a few more hours, Seokjin. Just hold out for a few more hours, then you can drag Yoongi back to the dorm.

“-getting married in Amoria?”

Seokjin chuckled. I guess there are other Maplestory players here.

He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he was trying to catch wind of the conversation behind him. However, the music and crowd was too loud to hear most of the conversation.

“-and for your information, his name is Seokjin and we’re just Maplestory buddies for now.”

“Y/n, just listen—”

Huh, Seokjin. That’s my name too- WAIT.

Taking the heavy risk of appearing as a creeper, Seokjin turned around and tapped the girl behind him.

Here goes.

“Y-Y/n?”

When she turned around, Seokjin was blessed to see the cutest girl he has ever seen.

“Um and you are?”

Seokjin braced himself and pointed to his chest. “It’s me. Seokjin.”

You widen your eyes and Seokjin could tell you weren’t as convinced.

“U-uh, it’s really me. Eatjean? I just helped you farm for more mesos because you were scammed the day before.” Seokjin’s heart was thundering in his chest. The alcohol could’ve also played a role in that, but it was also because he was extremely nervous that the girl right before his eyes was actually a different person.

“Oh my God. Oh my God.” You repeated. “Oh my God, you’re really Seokjin!”

The nervousness was slowly exiting his body once he saw the smile that grew on your face. Thank heavens, it was really you.

“Y-Yeah. It’s me! Wow, I just—I’m—w-wow.” Those words were the only ones that Seokjin could muster.

You let out a snicker and tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. “I can’t believe—”

“Seokjin?! This is denim jeans?! Date her!” Sooyoung suddenly gripped your shoulders.

“Excuse her. Sooyoung get your shit together for a second please—” Seulgi tugged at Sooyoung to leave you two alone. “Continue!”

Seokjin chuckled and looked over his shoulder to check on his friends who were still invested in freestyling. He then took you by the hand to stand in one part of the living room that had a little less people.

“You’re friends with Jimin’s sister?” Seokjin questioned.

“Yeah! We go to the same university. Why the hell hasn’t she mentioned you to me before?” You sighed sadly.

“I’m actually closer to Jimin.” He explained. “I even forget that her real name is Sooyoung. Jimin only refers to her as ‘Joy.’”

You took a sip out of your drink and nodded your head. “What a small ass world.”

Seokjin stuffed his hand in his pocket and leaned in closer to you. “You wanna get out of here?”

↠↞

“I told you to not use the scroll! It only had a fifty percent success rate.” You shook Seokjin by the shoulders who was devastated by the choice he made.

At first, you were feeling hints of regret after quickly accepting Seokjin’s invitation because you didn’t know what his intentions were. But he was just as quick to assure you that he wanted to bring you to his dorm to have some pizza and help him with his character’s accessories.

Seokjin was the perfect gentleman, just as you imagined. He gave you some of his clothes to change into so you were comfortable, he even stepped out of his dorm so you could have privacy. He let you sit in his gaming chair while he took a random stool from inside the dorm. When the pizza arrived, he remembered how much you loved pizza crust so he gave you every single one from each slice he took.

If you knew this was the type of guy Seokjin was, you would’ve gave him your instagram a long time ago.

“Hey, cut me some slack. I took a huge risk here.” Seokjin spun you around in his chair. “And I remember a certain someone who spent almost nine hundred thousand mesos on a staff she ended up not needing.”

“Fine, fine. Touche.” You scoffed and jokingly threatened to leave his dorm.

You scanned Seokjin’s desk and saw nothing but textbooks, what seemed to be study guides, and a few empty coffee cups. Being under the same university major umbrella, you understood the mess all too well.

“How’s your studying going?” You asked, tidying up some of his papers.

“Ehhh. I put the dying in studying.” Seokjin joked and you playfully hit his shoulder. “I’ve been up all night for the past few days.”

“Awww, you poor baby.” You ran your fingers through his hair and his eyelids fluttered closed at your touch. “Well, I guess it’s sort of no different from when you’re playing Maplestory with me.”

“Hmmm, I beg to differ. I actually enjoy spending time with you online.” Seokjin sighed happily. “And maybe I can enjoy spending time with you in person this time around?”

You laughed and brought your hands to your face to hide the blush he caused. “Ohhhhh, very smooth, Seokjin.”

“Do you accept this quest?”

You studied Seokjin’s facial features on more time; his big eyes and pouty lips. After knowing each other through an online game, it was only right for you to finally get to know the real Seokjin. 

From what you already knew, he was a sweet man who enjoyed trying new food, doing word search puzzles, and taking every opportunity presented to him to make some sort of pun. He could be a bit cheesy and a bit dorky, but it was all endearing. And because of all the time you’ve spent reading his cheesy lines through your laptop screen, the next words that came out of your mouth was just as cheesy and dorky, but it fit the moment.

“Quest accepted.”

-

-

-

♡ rae jagi

[jbbuckybarnes]

Distant Connection - 4/11

Pairing: Bucky x Harmonia (OC) Warnings: a bit of angst, a lot of domestic fluff Summary: After an unknown group of goons took her mom’s life and tried to get her for the dark magic powers she possesses, this untaught witch is saved by the Avengers and brought to the compound where her new life unfolds.

MASTERLIST || Distant Connection Masterlist

It was 7am and he slept approximately 2 hours out of 7. He went down the hallway to Harmony’s room to maybe get a little bit more rest with her in his arms. She was like a pill against every PTSD symptom for him. Except for the occasional panic attack. He opened the door silently like the assassin he was trained to be and saw her all spread out in her bed. It was chaotic in her room since she was still getting used to being here. His eyes fell onto the notebook on her desk. There was a painting of his metal hand resting on top of the book laying on his lap. A scene from a from a few hours earlier. He silently grabbed the sketchbook and read the note under it. *This is what makes you human ❤* A soft smile made its way into his face. He flipped backwards and saw a sketch of her in Steve’s style with a note in his handwriting under it. Slowly, he continued the journey through all the pages. Each page holding a special emotion. A watercolor of Steve with the words *stay safe*, detailed little flowers, the common area with *this is where the biggest dorks on earth meet* written below it, a painting of him with black eyes and a smile and his words *I don’t want you to destroy yourself to help others*, blue magic - *getting better at this*, a sketch of him sleeping with the note *You look like you are yourself when you sleep ❤*, an unfinished sketch looking like a gruesome scene with a *I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe*, another sketch of him including a short *You feel like home ❤*, a sketch of the library in the compound - *study area*, sketches of clothing, two people hugging - *human connection never changes*, more little girly sketches, two people kissing - *someday.*

It clearly was chronological and it almost made him cry to see her quote their conversations in the notes. Especially the one under the painting of him with black eyes. He shook his head, men like him don’t cry...at least that what he was trying to make himself believe. He looked at the desk with supplies all over it and decided to sit down and also draw her something even if it looked horrible. He really put effort into drawing their hands from a few hours earlier when he realized he was completely falling for her. He put a little arrow to her hand *small cute hand* and an arrow to his *giant metal hand* and wrote a little note after he finished *my little witch - thank you for making me feel like the person I am ❤* After looking behind him and still seeing her sleep he decided to go back to his room again. He won’t be sleeping after seeing her sketches anyway.

She woke up at 10am with the first thing coming to her mind being his emotional state she could sense with her powers yesterday. It threw her off so much that he felt so intensely loving towards her. She put on different clothes, showered and got ready and while she put her art supplies back into her little bag she saw a new page opened in her sketchbook. She inspected it further and saw a semi-good sketch of two hands and the note *my little witch - thank you for making me feel like the person I am ❤* “He saw everything in this sketchbook with the little notes.” She whispered in shock. She didn’t know if she should be mad at him for looking through her things or if she should be thankful ‘cause he seemed to feel the same way she did. Safe, connected, a little bit in love. The latter making her shudder at its unrealness. Nobody ever made her feel so at home and deeply connected in such a short amount of time. Harmony smirked as her brain formed a little plan.

She opened and closed her door loudly which made the boys down her hallway look outside their doors. “James Buchanan Barnes!” She said loud and clear with madness on her face. Steve and Clint looked behind them at James’ face that started to look like a big *Oh shit, what have I done.* “You went through my sketchbook without asking!” She yelled strutting towards him. The other boys clearly excited about someone finally stepping up to the assassin of the century. “I can explain.”He said with wide eyes. “Oh boy, you’re about to get your ass beaten.” Sam yelled from the next hallway and everyone collectively yelled back “Shut up Sam!” She grabbed James’ arm and dragged him to the elevators and into the first one that opened. After the door closed and they went down for a bit she pressed the stop button. “I’m sorry. I was just...I couldn’t sleep anymore and wanted to go to your room to get some more rest and then I saw it laying there wide open and I couldn’t keep my hands off of it.” He was actually afraid of her. The assassin of the century was afraid of her. “I mean it’s nice to see that The Winter Soldier is afraid of me, but I actually just wanted to scare you and tell you that the drawing is actually not that bad and I know that you’re having feelings for me cause I felt your emotions yesterday while doing my magic...and I just wanted to get you in here to do this without Steve being able to hear it.” She said before cupping his face, standing on her tiptoes and connecting their lips. He tasted like coffee and aftershave. His metal hand made its way into her hair while his other hand pressed her body closer to him. They moved apart completely overwhelmed at what just happened. “I should’ve told you when I had the chance yesterday but I didn’t know if it was too early or if you even felt the same and the sketchbook...answered that for me.” He continued to explain. “You’re still scared?” She asked chuckling. “You don’t understand how fucking frightening you look when you’re mad,” he mumbled looking down at her with semi-traumatized eyes. Both of them broke out into laughter before she hugged him. “You really feel like home. You did right from the start.”

With one hand around her waist he leaned forward and undid the emergency stop of the elevator with the happiest smile on his face. They needed to go all the way down before going up again so they had a little bit of time to chat. “You’re so good at art. Better than Steve may I add,” he said, grabbing her hand since she was still standing in front of him. Shortly after, she positioned herself beside him looking towards the elevator door that had just opened shortly after. “I would say we’re both on the same level. You can come to our next art session if you want.” She smiled up at him. “You have art sessions?” He asked confused. “When he went to the tower to be around the school kids I also went there and we just ended up drawing together. That’s why I have a sketch of myself in my notebook.” She had a content and permanent smile now. “Okay, before this thing opens I need to say one last thing,” he said after a short pause, “I didn’t feel like this since the early 40s. I was so confused feeling this. Sorry for concerning you yesterday.” Her thumb went over the back of his hand “Everything’s fine, soldier boy.” “Don’t call me that, little witch,” he said nudging her slightly with a big smile on his face before the elevator made a noise and their faces went back to normal.

The door opened and she rolled her eyes with a quick “Idiot” and a smile. The boys were still standing there and looked at the door opening in sync. “As if she is already back at normal again. I wanted to see him shocked like a deer when the door opens!” Clint joked around. Harmony took her hand away and walked towards them with a soft “You still need to sleep?” towards James which was answered with a headshake. “Your arm’s looking good Stevie,” she said while walking past them and pulling James into her room leaving the two boys with pure confusion. “Is Sam always such a weirdo? He seems fine as soon as you aren’t involved,” she asked him and got a wheeze back. “He likes to tease me here and there. Especially when I’m in trouble or ask for things,” he answered with a smile. “Well, he’s the last person that I’ll befriend here. What are your thoughts about Wanda, Vision and Nat? Better options?” She smiled and grabbed both arms of his. “Definitely better than Sam.” He chuckled putting his hands on her waist and silently kissing her forehead. “What do you think would be the best moment to talk to Wanda?” She asked with a normal voice but clearly gesturing between them and pointing to her door. “I’d wait a while...it’s about timing I guess,” he answered and got a smile back that healed a part of his soul he didn’t know existed. “Wanna train with me a bit?” she asked with a smile grabbing her book bag that she always had with her while doing magic now. “I never say no to watching you create magic.” he smiled back taking her hand with his metal one. She stepped forwards a little to give him a little silent kiss on his cheek “Well, let’s go then.”

This time she felt capable enough to try defense mechanisms with him. Green magic blocked him from getting to her or stopped his hands from moving every time he tried getting too close to “hitting” her. He felt a bit bad trying to hit her in the first place but she wanted to learn how to save herself if she ever was attacked again. She still lived with the fear that they were trying to get her. She currently was sitting on his shoulders after dodging him and looked at him upside down with a giggle “Hi.” “You are a fucking dork.” he smiled before she gave him a little kiss and catapulted him over herself with magic and landed normally. “Ouch.” he said while standing up again and having his metal arm readjusting itself. “You’re too easy to charm soldier boy.” she said with a cute smile on her face. “Don’t get too proud about being my weakness.” he chuckled. “Oh, I’m not. Actually quite the opposite. Never good to have a weakness like me. Means you need to protect it extra good so the person doesn’t get used against you.” she smirked. He stopped in his tracks suddenly feeling suspicion. “Wait…” he said now looking at her in disbelief. “Oh my god, NO! How can you think that! I actually meant what I said.” she yelled after realizing what he thought. “Sorry, I just...you’re looking into my mind like an open book and that sounded off and...there are a lot of cases where this was happening.” he tried to explain. “I could brainwash and kill all of you in seconds if I wanted to. That was never- You know what? Forget it.” she was a little bit upset and walked towards the door but he caught up and hugged her from behind. “You asked me yesterday if I trust you.” he started and moved her so he could look her into her eyes, “I do. I really do. But suspicion is part of my job. Trust is something you build.” he finished. “I trusted you with my life as soon as we talked.” she said still upset. “I do too...shouldn’t have questioned what you said. I’m sorry.” he mumbled against her forehead before kissing it.

After a long hug she broke the silence with a “Can I punch you? You kinda deserve it right now.” He broke into laughter “Sure, your tiny hands won’t do much without magic.” “Those tiny hands still know where it hurts. And those tiny elbows too.” she said punching his throat, turning, pressing her elbow into his sternum and pressing him to the ground from his crouched position. “I know you didn’t defend yourself because you don’t wanna hurt me but that was kinda fun.” she giggled with him laying on the floor looking up at her with a weak smile. “Where did you learn that?” he asked genuinely interested switching to laying on his back. “Self defense class. Had enough time to think about where to hit you. And you didn’t wear any protection. I wish you did cause these legs can kick.” she smiled. “Want me to teach you more of that if you ever need it in an actual spontaneous situation?” he asked sitting up. “Sure, but don’t get too turned on.” she said with a wink knowing how close they would be for next hour or two. “I have you on me like a koala 50% of the time. Do you really think I can’t control myself?” he said rolling his eyes. She got close and whispered “I’m unconscious 90% of that time, remember?” to tease him. The next two hours were filled with body warmth, punches and little kisses.

“Imma steal away all the lunch so you won’t get it.” she said in a childish tone as they left the training room and started running with a giggle. “I’ll get you!” he said daring and since he knew he was about thrice as fast as her if he really tried but he held himself back to match her speed. He grabbed her waist just before she could reach the door of the common area and threw her over his back which was matched with a squeal. He walked into the room with an unfazed look on his face and her squealing “James, that’s not fair play. Let me down!” The team mates that were in the room eating looked at this scene with surprise and James looked at them with a proud smirk. “How about I eat all the pasta by myself and you don’t get anything because I won.” he said with full asshole mode and a smile. The whole room went silent before he could feel his underwear being pulled up way too high and a round of laughter from the table behind him. “Don’t mess with a witch, she will always find a way.” Wanda said laughing. He let her down in front of him and shook his head “Dork.” She gave a short smile back before turning to the food and hearing the team start talking again. “Can we eat in my room?” she asked as quiet as possible and a little hum came back at her.

They both sat down on her big bed shortly after with their pasta and drinks. Their eyes met with a smile and a small “I love you, you idiot.” from her side before she started eating. It wasn’t a totally serious ‘I love you’ but it still hit him. His eyes didn’t leave her while eating, he was mesmerized by how effortlessly soft she looked while doing anything and he wondered if she would draw something from today. “Everything alright?” she asked after noticing him staring. “Yeah, you’re just...really mesmerizing.” he said softly with a short smile at her. “A witch being MESMERizing.” she giggled and put her empty plate aside before looking at his “Stop staring, start eating. Don’t want you to starve big boy.” she giggled again. He looked down at a half empty plate and continued eating while she grabbed her phone to play with it. There was a pleasant silence in the room and a soft smile on her face while she was scrolling through social media timelines. The only thing audible was the fork hitting the plate from time to time. Until it stopped again and he put the plate onto the other one. She was deep into reading something which gave him the opportunity to hover on top of her out of nowhere. She looked up from her screen “Oh hi! Didn’t see you there giant man.” she giggled and was silenced by a kiss. It was soft but full of passion making her close her eyes and letting her phone fall to the side to reach up to his neck. She answered with more feelings and longing which made his heart burst inside his chest before his kiss got very desperate and full of lust making her moan very softly. He broke the makeout session apart after hearing this, not out of concern, but because he felt it was inappropriate to go that far right now. He didn’t feel like he knew her well and long enough for that. Falling for her and kissing her already had been a process that moved way too fast. She made a sound of discomfort “It just got fun.” she mumbled and earned a loving smile from him. “I need to feel this out again, okay? You deserve all the respectful treating in the world little witch.” he said giving her a little kiss on the nose. “You’re cuter than you look. D’you know that?” she asked him softly and got a little chuckle back “Yeah.”

[unspokenfaith]

A Not So Surprising Romantic Gesture

Pairings: Peter Parker/Michelle Jones Rating: T Word Count: 2943 Genre: Fluff/Humor Summary: 5 times Peter tries to ask MJ to prom and 1 time he doesn’t have to.

So I originally had this planned for Spideychelle Month, but only recently had the inspiration to finish writing it. I just love the thought of Peter and MJ still being awkward idiots even after dating for a while :’) Also really enjoyed writing all the side characters in; it definitely added to all the fun.

AO3

I.

Asking your long-term girlfriend to senior prom seemed like the logical thing to do. But then again, so did skipping over all the hassle and taking her anyway, because why wouldn’t they go together? 

Peter knew how much MJ resented traditions, particularly gendered ones, but he also knew the smile on her face and the gleam in her eyes whenever he surprised her with a romantic gesture, and it was safe to say that alone outweighed anything else.

Under any other circumstances, he would’ve asked her opinion on the matter—some things he just couldn’t get a read on—but Peter wanted this to be a surprising romantic gesture. The surprising romantic gesture. MJ more than deserved that. 

And perhaps there was a tiny, selfish part of him that always hoped he could ask the girl of his dreams to prom, even if he couldn’t dance to save his life.

Peter felt confident one sunny, April morning when he stepped off the bus, bouquet of flowers in hand. Black dahlias, of course. 

He rehearsed what he was going to say at least thirty times in his head from the moment he woke up, but he couldn’t settle on the right words. What else was he supposed to say besides ‘MJ, will you go to prom with me?’ Even though we’ve been dating for nine months, so it’s not like we would go with anyone else anyway, right? It seemed so easy, yet it also didn’t feel like enough. At least the flowers would add a little something extra. 

By the entrance, Peter spotted MJ with her back to him, talking to Ned and Betty. Inexplicably, the four of them made a habit of meeting outside every morning before walking in together. Cheesy and predictable as it was, it always put a smile on Peter’s face no matter how he was feeling that day. 

Ned caught his eye, flashing him a smile. Peter shook his head furiously before he could say anything. He didn’t want MJ to see him yet. 

“Hey, Penis Parker!” 

Peter skidded to a stop, his heart jumping to his throat and the flowers dropping into a puddle. Flash’s shiny new car nearly ran Peter over, but that seemed to be the least of his concerns.

“Watch where you’re going! You could’ve hit my car!” Flash slowed down as he passed him, and his eyes widened at the drenched dahlias. “Aww! Did you get those for me, Parker? That’s so thoughtful, but I’m not interested.”

He couldn’t so much as lift his head and entertain a response before Flash drove away to find a parking spot. 

He couldn’t even find himself to appreciate the irony of black dahlias wilting in dirty water. His only consolation was that MJ sure would’ve. 

II.

Despite yesterday’s disappointment, Peter quickly contrived a new and hopefully Flash-proof idea. Unfortunately, this one required a lot more patience.

He never realized how little MJ went to her locker until he sped down the hallway and peeked around the corner after every period waiting for her to show up. Then again, she didn’t really have any reason to when she used one notebook for all of her classes—and every line of every page at that. And when she couldn’t fill a page, she would draw random sketches, mostly of Peter’s face in physics.

“What? It’s funny,” she would say. “You’re always so focused.”

And the way she said “funny,” like she really meant “adorable,” never failed to make Peter blush.

“Dude, what are you doing?” 

Peter jumped at the sound of Ned’s voice.

“Hey, shh! I’m waiting for MJ,” he said.

Ned blinked. “You know she’s your girlfriend, right? Why are you hiding?” 

“Ned, please!” Peter whispered loudly. “It’s a surprise, okay? I don’t want her to see me yet.”

“Oh! This is the prom thing!” he practically screamed.

“Dude, seriously!”

Their back-and-forth picked up a few glances from passing students. Peter laughed nervously before turning back to Ned.

“Try to be quiet about it, okay? Please.”

“Right, right, right,” Ned said. “Sorry. Should I—Hey, there’s MJ and Betty.”

Peter turned around, and sure enough, there was MJ, fiddling with the combination on her locker—Betty rambling behind her. 

“Please! Pretty please!” Betty put her hands together, pouting. “You said you would.”

MJ sighed. “I know, but...I can’t this weekend. I’ve got…you know, stuff.”

Betty placed her hands on her hips. “I know you really want to go. You just don’t want to be excited.”

“I do want to. I just...we haven’t really talked about what we’re doing yet.”

Peter felt his stomach twist into a knot once he realized what she was talking about. Was she expecting him to have asked her already? Or was she not expecting him to ask at all? Was she mad they haven’t talked about prom at all?

Was he doing something wrong?

“Peter, she’s opening the locker.” Ned tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

As soon as the door swung open, Betty screamed, causing both Peter and Ned to jump.

“Jesus, Betty, don’t do that!” MJ said.

“Move!” But Betty shifted so she stood in front of MJ, then proceeded to toss everything out of her locker. Used papers and pens flew everywhere. Peter’s heart sank when he saw a particularly important one slide under a neighboring locker.

“Betty, what the—” 

Betty stomped her foot, pushing it hard into the floor. “Sorry, there was a spider!”

“Was it really necessary to tear my locker apart?”

Their voices faded as Peter turned away, leaning on the wall and staring at the ceiling. 

“Man, I’m sorry, Peter,” Ned said. “You can always try again tomorrow.”

III.

Peter did not try again tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that. 

Four days was ample time for him to recover from another failed prom ask. He didn’t want to waste too much time, especially after overhearing MJ’s conversation with Betty. 

Baking was all science. At least that’s what Peter told himself after spilling bags of flour and nearly setting the kitchen on fire. May insisted on stepping in, but he was determined to do this all by himself, even if it took him all night. 

He might’ve lost valuable study time, and a lot of sleep, but it was worth it in the end to have five chocolate frosted red velvet cupcakes. While Peter’s original plan was to bake the whole batch, only half were worth saving. Luckily, he only needed four letters and a question mark’s worth. 

MJ liked them because, supposedly, “no one else does.” Everyone always goes for the vanilla frosted. How she ever determined that, he had no idea. But the information made itself useful.

Rather than approaching her before school, he thought it best to keep them covered in his locker until the end of the day. Less people around. Less of a chance that everything will go wrong. Hopefully less spiders. 

As soon as the final bell rang, Peter sprinted to his locker and carefully removed the tray. MJ was always the first one to arrive to Academic Decathlon, and he would make sure to be there before anyone else. 

He checked his watch—2:18. Decathlon practice started at 2:30. Plenty of time. 

Peter’s skin prickled as he approached the door of the classroom. He had no reason to be nervous. It’s not as though she would say “no.” But what she said to Betty still lingered in the back of his mind, feeding into his nerves, planting his feet to the floor. 

After talking himself in and out of it several times, he took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Much to his disappointment, MJ wasn’t in her usual spot at the front of the room. In fact, she wasn’t in the room at all. 

Cursing himself for being too early, Peter set the cupcakes down on a desk. He looked from the clock on the wall to his watch, then back to the clock again, as though the little, red second hand would bring MJ here faster.

“Woah, Peter! Did you bring those for the team?” 

Peter turned around to find Winston standing in the doorway. Before he had time to react, Winston rushed over to his desk and grabbed a cupcake. 

“No, no, no! Wait!” 

But Winston was already devouring the chocolate “P.” 

“Winston, those were for—”

MJ walked in a few seconds too late. “Hey, dorks. What’s up? You guys are early.” She went to the front of the classroom to set her bag down. 

Winston looked from MJ to Peter, eyes widening with the realization of what he just did. 

“Peter, I’m so sorry...”

Peter forced a smile. “It’s fine, Winston. They’re all yours.”

There was no sense in asking MJ if she would like to go to “Rom.”

IV.

With everything that happened over the past week, Peter began to see the error of his ways. All of his promposals were private. There was too much risk in privacy. He needed to ask MJ to prom in a way that was unavoidable. Foolproof. But not too public. 

Peter stuck with the decathlon room. It was never used until the team met after school. So early one morning, he got his robot spider to unlock the door. He wrote the question bold and large on the whiteboard then slid the chalkboard back to cover it. 

Mr. Harrington always used the white board. The sound of the chalk on the board made him sweat. And then he would get so flustered that he’d continue. It wasn’t a good experience for anyone in the room.

Drumming his fingers on the desk, Peter stared at the empty chalkboard. MJ flashed him a confused glance.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Me? Yeah, totally. Just ready to get started.” Peter’s voice was at least two octaves higher than normal, and he knew it. He just hoped MJ didn’t notice. 

Mr. Harrington walked up to the board. Peter hadn’t noticed how loud his foot was tapping under the desk until a couple of the team members gave him looks.

“Okay, guys, I want to go over a few of the logistics for the competition,” Mr. Harrington said, reaching for the markers, but paused. “Oh, where did they go?”

“Where did what go, Mr. Harrington?” Peter asked. But then it hit him. He was in such a rush earlier that he never put the markers back. He must’ve shoved them into his locker without thinking.

“My markers,” he said. “I don’t see them anywhere.” Mr. Harrington lowered his glasses slightly, scanning his desk. “Huh, well, I guess we’re using the chalkboard today.”

A chorus of groans sounded throughout the room.

“I know, I know, guys. It sounds like the lonely cries of a single man in his bed at night,” he said, followed by silence. “Well, anyway…”

Peter’s foot started tapping on the floor again. Sure, he could just walk up there and pull the chalkboard aside. But that completely defeated the point. It was supposed to be a surprise. It was supposed to happen naturally. 

“Wait! Mr. Harrington, uh...doesn’t anyone have a marker?” Peter asked.

Not a single response. MJ eyed him curiously. By now, she knew something was going on with him. 

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Peter, but I think we’re all going to have to suffer together today,” Mr. Harrington said, turning back to the board and hesitantly picking up a piece of chalk. 

“Man, he’s not having a good day, is he?” Ned whispered.

Peter knew the feeling.

V. 

Standing in the school library, card in hand, Peter was persistent in making this work. After a week of almosts, he was going to make sure that—no matter what—today would be the day. He was going to ask his girlfriend to prom, and no one or nothing was going to stop him. 

He spent the previous night putting together a card specifically for MJ. Peter was by no means artistically inclined, so he did it all on the computer—cutting and pasting images of some of her favorite things. On the front of the card, he placed her favorite picture of them. Betty took it at her Christmas party. She had pointed out the mistletoe above their heads. Peter blushed as MJ kissed his cheek. Everyone cheered. 

It might’ve been his favorite picture, too.

Peter slid the card into MJ’s favorite poetry book, Milk and Honey. She picked it up as a study break every time the two of them came to the library to do homework. Sometimes he asked her to read the poems aloud just so he could watch the soft, thoughtful expression on her face as she spoke the words. 

So he knew when he asked her to meet him here after class, that’s exactly what she would do. Only this time she would have something new to read. 

As soon as he heard footsteps, Peter scrambled to sit down and lay his books out. He started writing out random notes as she approached the table.

MJ squeezed his hand as she sat down across from him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Peter smiled brightly. 

“What’s up?” MJ squinted at him.

“What do you mean? Just studying is all,” he laughed.

“No, not right now. I mean in general. You’ve been acting weird all week.”

“N-nothing. Nothing’s up. Just nervous, I guess.”

“For what?”

“Oh, you know…” Peter said. “The test next week.” He wanted to kick himself for saying the first thing that came to his mind.

“Oh, yeah, I guess.”

Through all his prom planning, Peter somehow managed to forget they had a physics test next week. He’d have to worry about that later. 

The two were mostly quiet while they studied, Peter too afraid he’d give something away by talking, and MJ too busy actually focusing on the material. He flipped through the pages of the textbook, pretending to read while he occasionally glanced at her. Waiting for her to take a break. 

Suddenly, Brad walked into the library, passing by their table on his way to one of the shelves. The poetry section. 

Peter fought every urge to start squirming in his seat, which only resulted in him starting to squirming in his seat.

MJ put her book down. “Okay, seriously, Peter, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing! I just…” 

She followed his gaze behind her to where Brad was browsing dangerously close to MJ’s book. 

“Brad? Is that what’s bothering you?”

Peter shook his head furiously, watching as Brad picked up Milk and Honey, about to open the cover.

He pushed himself up from his chair. “Brad! What are you doing?”

Brad shot him a look of annoyance. “Trying to find a book for my English project. Sorry if that’s a crime, Parker,” he said. “Although you’re one to judge.” 

MJ rolled her eyes. “You’re really not going to let that one go, are you? No one believes that Peter’s a prostitute, so drop it already.”

“That’s my book!” Peter exclaimed. “I was just going to rent it out!”

“Wait, what?” MJ said.

Brad flipped through the book, and Peter’s chest tightened. “Don’t see your name on it anywhere. You don’t look in a hurry to take it.”

Without thinking, Peter went over and grabbed the book from Brad’s hand. “I said I’m borrowing it, okay?”

“Okay, chill.” Brad held his arms up in defeat. “It’s just a book.” He shook his head as he wandered over to the next section. 

Peter sighed in relief. When he turned around, he found MJ staring at something on the floor next to him. 

VI. 

“What?” Peter followed her gaze to a small, familiar piece of paper folded on the ground. He scanned the pages of the book, even though he already knew the card was missing.

MJ rose from her seat and bent down to pick it up. Peter was about to stop her before he realized this was what he was waiting for to happen. Even if it wasn’t happening in the way he planned.

“It’s stupid. I’m sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

She said nothing. Just stared at the front of the card, her lips slowly curving into a smile. Peter remained silent as she opened it, studying every letter, every image. He wasn’t sure if he should be troubled by the fact that she still wasn’t saying anything in response.

MJ refolded the card, placing it on the desk. 

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s really cheesy, and we’re already dating, so why am I asking, right?” Peter laughed nervously, unable to meet her eyes.

“Stop talking, loser,” she said.

Peter cleared his throat and nodded. 

“You’re right. This is incredibly cheesy.” 

His shoulders sank. God, why did you do it, Peter? So stupid. 

“But,” MJ continued. “This is easily the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Peter looked up, beaming. “Really?”

“Really.” She smiled back.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t ask you sooner, or we didn’t talk about it and make plans, or….I’m just really sorry.”

MJ put a finger over his mouth. “My answer is ‘yes,’ okay?”

Peter kissed her right there, in the middle of the school library, catching a few glances and whispers. The librarian didn’t look too thrilled about it, but she buried her nose in a book as though she hadn’t noticed.  

MJ gently pushed him away. “You haven’t been worrying about this all week, have you?”

“Of course not,” Peter laughed.

He was the worst liar imaginable, but at least he was taking his girlfriend to prom. 

[less-than-hash]

A Lot to Process

I haven’t been making games lately, but that doesn’t mean I’ve not been writing. I took off at the beginning of the year to work on my prose fiction, finished drafting a novel provisionally titled These Subtle Games back in March, and finished revising it and began querying it last month. It’s a contemporary occult fantasy set in Boston, following a nonbinary game developer investigating the untimely and mysterious demise of her mentor, only to find herself drawn into a morass of conspiratorial cabals, mystical mobsters, and misogynist massholes - not to mention a sprawling hidden ARG that may or may not contain the secrets of New England cunning magic.

It’s basically autobiography.

In the meantime, I’ve begun writing a new novel, an industrial fantasy set in a world of sprawling empires both challenged and propped up by powerful mercantile houses and an aggressively expansionist church ruled by wizards. I found that the process I stumbled through in developing and writing These Subtle Games - a process that, despite the differences in media, grew out of my experience creating games - worked really well for me, so I’ve been following a more refined version for the new novel with similarly positive results. Furthermore, I’ve already begun applying it to a potential sequel to TSG. With Novelember coming up, I figured I’d share a little of that process with you.

The goals of my writing process are twofold: 

To apply some level of organization to my work, lest it follow in the footsteps of my first novel, which was basically “write until you’re done writing, and now you’ve got 141,000 words of experimental weirdness.”

To allow a lot of flexibility, preventing said organization from stifling my creativity. 

Details below the cut.

PRE-PRODUCTION, aka Background, Research, and Planning

I spend a lot of time with the concept for a novel (or a conversation in a game) before I begin writing anything that’ll make it into even the rough draft. Note that I didn’t use the “before I put pen to paper” metaphor here, because I do a lot of writing at this stage. Much of this is simple note-taking, whether on research or on ideas. I do a fair amount of this in an actual notebook, often because I’m off somewhere away from my computer.

Because this phase generally overlaps with the late phases of a previous project, and when I’m actually at my computer I’m generally working on the older piece. I was in this phase for Hidden Sanctum while recording VO for Seeker, Slayer, Survivor, for example, and for These Subtle Games while wrapping up my work on the Deadfire expansions.

I like to overlap projects like this for a few reasons:

It allows me to move smoothly from active work on one project to the next.

It engages a different part of my mind than drafting prose, keeping me fresh.

Because I spend a lot of time exploring an idea, it helps me determine whether or not I think the idea’s strong enough to sustain me through a project.

Things I do while planning:

Read extensively. I read work in the same vein or genre as the work I’m intending to write. In preparation for Deadfire, for example, I read The Gentleman Bastards books by Scott Lynch, Uprooted by Naomi Novik, and Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames. Prior to starting work on These Subtle Games I read  Procession of the Dead by Darren Shan, War in Heaven by Charles Williams, Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami, Our Lady of Darkness by Fritz Lieber, Conversion by Katherine Howe, the Atlanta Burns books by Chuck Wendig,  A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, and Himself by Jess Kidd, among others. Before beginning the current novel, I read Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo, The Incorruptibles by John Horner Jacobs, Prince of Thieves by Chuck Hogan, and Perdido Street Station by China Miéville, among other works. These are books I read specifically because I planned to do work in similar spaces. I approach these books analytically to get a sense of what’s been done before, as well as what might and might not work from a structural or stylistic standpoint. What I want to do and what I want to avoid.  Nor do I limit myself to books. As part of my pre-production for my current project I watched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Les Miserable, L’Empereur de Paris, The Age of Innocence, and Carnival Row, as well as replaying parts of the Dishonored games. I also made myself a music playlist, the heart of which is Postmodern Jukebox’s cover of “Welcome to the Black Parade.”

Research broadly. I’m less of the school that one should write what they know than that they should know what they write. I generally write fantastic works, but without an understanding of matters related to the fantasy, the product feels hollow. This can include research into the history of sail and piracy, for example, or military technology, or fashion. For These Subtle Games I read numerous books on New England folklore and cunning folk, as well as on witch trials, both in Salem and globally. I read a lot about Harvard’s study of psychedelics, including Michael Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind. I also did a tremendous amount of deeply unpleasant research into online harassment. At this point in the process, I try to prioritize the forest for the trees (hence “broadly” above). I don’t need to know every maritime term to plot content set on a sailing vessel, I just need to know the broad strokes of how ships work, how the crew lives, and how that might impact someone living on the sea. My current project required a fair amount of exploration of subjects as diverse as industrial era mill towns, the history of the American and French revolutions, and dinosaurs. While doing this research, I keep an eye out for things I find interesting that can inform my plot. I’d never heard of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, for example, but reading about it inspired a plot point in the current project. That said, I don’t feel like I need to be an expert at this stage on anything I hope to write about. I’m almost certainly going to discard ideas and discover new ones as I go along, and I’ll have to dig deep into things like boot styles and fishing vessels (to pick two subjects from yesterday’s writing) as I go.

Figure out what I want to say. Here I work to nail down the broadest themes I want to explore in a work. These usually arise from a combination of my research and reflecting on the things I find interesting about whatever I’m making the subject of my project. Initially These Subtle Games was titled The Quiet Game (a title already claimed by a murder mystery set in Massachusetts) because of its interest in secrets (as reflected in the secret societies of Boston, the NDAs of the games industry, and the arcana of ARGs like the Jejune Institute). The new novel examines colonialism, capitalism, and power, as well as what actions are justified when resisting an overwhelming force. The three DLC for Deadfire interrogate the relationships between the gods of Eora and their followers, the Watcher included. Defining this helps guide all of the work to come, providing a benchmark by which to judge the effectiveness of an idea, plot point, or piece of writing.

Build out the world. These Subtle Games is set in modern Boston and Deadfire in Eora, both worlds that were well-defined long before I began creating fiction set in them. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t spend time fleshing out the corners of those worlds I intended to work within. TSG required that I determine the form of a fictionalized Boston games industry, as well as the shape of the secret cultures that inform the action of the novel. For Deadfire, each piece of content, each world map event, and each DLC island is a little world of its own, with its own story that feeds back into the larger ideas of the game. (Of course, I wasn’t working in a vacuum, nor alone.)  The current project, set in a new fantasy world, required the creation of a rough geography and history, populated with peoples, nations, and faiths. I designed these not merely to have verisimilitude, but to feed into the goals of the work. In the case of the new project, that meant huge colonial powers jockeying for the dwindling unclaimed territories and their resources, vast trade companies conspiring to wrest power from the entrenched nobility, a clergy focused on enforcing the rule of the gods over every nation of the world, and several species of magically-crafted servitors provided curtailed rights when they’re afforded any freedom at all. Here, again, I prefer to take a diffuse approach. I can get by with the broad strokes, and leaving things undefined offers me more room to maneuver as I write. I personally also find it useful to gather art references at this stage. I have a folder of illustrations that suggest the mood and style of the world of the new project, for example. For These Subtle Games, I commissioned an illustration of my protagonist from the fantastic Katorius (below).

Sketch out the major characters. Generally by this point I’ve got ideas for at least a few of the characters, but before I start writing I want to have a strong sense of who each of those characters is. I generally write a few pages about the major players, their background, their attitudes, their role in the plot. This is worldbuilding, albeit with a narrowed focus, so the rules above apply: I try to keep things vague and flexible. I knew at this stage, for example, that These Subtle Games protagonist Laurie’s best work friend Meri grew up in California, and that if she lost her job, she might move back. That she was a surfer and played ska were details that came out in the writing. She also grew from being only moral support to providing occasional practical aid to Laurie, as well as coming to rely on Laurie in turn. Similarly, in the current project, the six characters the novel focuses on, something of a band of scoundrels, shifted over the course of development from their sketches. The relationship between two characters who are fugitives from the imperial government, for example, changed dramatically. Whereas they had been initially written as an inseparable pair, I found it much more interesting if they were on the outs after years of traveling and working together, adding (another) fracture in the crew’s interpersonal dynamics. I’ve talked before about how Vatnir went from being a charming con-artist to a grumpy reluctant messiah after I saw concept art for him. Similarly, I knew from my first moments with Serafen that he possesses no qualms about employing violence in the course of his work; the delineations, though, that he creates for himself regarding when violence is appropriate was something developed over the course of writing him.

Identify big tentpole moments. Here’s the first bit of actual plot work. At this point I’ve likely got ideas of notes I absolutely want to hit. I knew, for example, that I wanted Laurie, the protagonist of These Subtle Games, to discover an object late in the novel that redefines her relationship to her uncle and her understanding of his role in the mystery she’s unraveling. Inspired by the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, I knew I wanted the crew in the new project to be party to the inadvertent destruction of a textile mill, one made all the worse for its owners having locked the workers within. In both cases, these moments speak directly to the ideas I’m exploring in the work. Once I’ve identified a few of my tentpoles, I order them in a way that makes dramatic sense to me, and that gives me not an outline, exactly, but guideposts for the narrative. As mentioned so many times above, the goal is to provide myself guidance, not to hem myself in or nail down every plot point.

Once I’m relatively comfortable with my sense of where I’m taking a work, I begin writing what I call my “plot doc.”

PRE-ALPHA, aka The Plot Doc

I don’t generally outline my work. I go from the extremely rough tentpole step mentioned above into a kind of extremely rough draft I call my plot doc. These provide the skeleton and heart of the novel onto which I can layer the muscle and flesh of actual writing. The plot doc is pretty long - the one for These Subtle Games was 49,000 words, about half the length of the finished novel. The plot doc for the current project weighs in at 31,000 words. 

Almost none of these words will end up in the actual book as-is. 

I care very little about the state of the writing at this step. Here I’m exploring the plot and the characters, drafting out how they go from tentpole to tentpole, figuring out what in the narrative works and hopefully identifying what doesn’t. I find where I’ve failed to establish needed details in my worldbuilding and further define my characters.

This step actually developed directly from my work in narrative design. Generally I (like many of the narrative designers I know) stub out a branching conversation before writing it, creating a kind of detailed outline (where everything is written with the same lack of polish as the LRs pictured in my post about interjections). This lets us establish the flow of the conversation, plot its structure without having to worry too much about details of style, and hopefully locate any holes or major bugs prior to fleshing out the file. Generally the text in stubs would be difficult to mistake for shippable writing. 

I personally find stubbing out conversations useful because I think differently during the mechanical work of structuring files than I do during the artistic work of crafting dialog and prose. I’ve found a similar division of labor incredibly useful when crafting plot. It relieves a lot of the pressure of writing, too. I don’t have to worry about both building a functional plot and writing enticing prose. Because I’m going to be the only person ever reading the plot doc.

(Unless, of course, I do something ridiculous like share pieces of it on my tumblr.)

Here’s an excerpt from the plot doc for These Subtle Games, which I’ll contrast with later versions below:

A car awaits her in Gloucester, and it brings her to Matthias’s house. It’s a sizable home, stone, and old, somewhat decrepit, even. Ivy climbs the turrets, and the copper roof has gone to streaked verdigris. He stands in the open door as she approaches, and she hugs him, grateful for the familiar, and he returns the gesture stiffly, patting her lightly on the back. He’s tall and rail thin, built much as she is, with a well-kept beard and receding hair. He feels old-fashioned to her, in a dressing gown and pajamas with warm, soft house shoes.

Hello, niece, he says.

Hello, uncle.

He offers her food, which she declines, and takes her to her room, just off the main room.

Ouch. It’s little more than stream of consciousness, just me getting the ideas out onto the page. Or 200 pages, in the case of this project.

ALPHA, aka The Rough Draft

Once I’ve completed the plot doc, I begin actually writing. I do this in a new file, referring to the plot doc for guidance as I go along. Often I do this a little inconsistently, letting myself write until I hit a lull before returning to the plot doc. That way the plot doc serves not merely a guiding role, but a motivating function.

The rough draft is the first actual composition I’m doing on the work, and much of it actually ends up in the finished version. I take significantly more time on each scene, on each sentence, trying to craft prose that breathes and dialog that feels real.

I also tend to be a bit loose and experimental at this stage. I play around, writing things that I find interesting to read. If I find myself weighing style against readability, I generally err on the side of style. I can clean shit up later.

Here’s the scene from before, taken from the rough draft:

The car Matthias hired lets Laurie off at the gate, which creaks opens on hydraulic pistons as she leaves her tip.

The driver nods towards the tree-lined darkness. “Hop back in, and I’ll run you up. Real door to door service. If you’d like.”

Having relaxed at an exponential rate with each mile she put between herself and the city, Laurie shakes her head with a faint smile. “I could use the walk.”

“You don’t think you’re fat, do you?” His gaze flits the length of her from knees to shoulders, efficiently dispelling the enchantment worked by the commuter rail ride through the dense New England night.

“What? No.”

“Because you’re a beanpole. Almost too skinny, if you ask me.”

She hadn’t. “That’s not what I meant. Just, I want to clear my head, thanks.”

He leaves her to it, and she walks up the curling drive towards the old stone Victorian. The curtained windows glow faintly from within, and warm lamps jut from the quoins. Sprawling ivy climbs the turrets, and rooftop copper has long given way to white-streaked verdigris. Matthias’s is a stately home, but aging, much like the man himself. He meets her at the door in a dressing gown over fine silk pajamas and plush slippers. Her uncle stands as long and lanky as Laurie, with high cheekbones, a higher forehead, and a well-trimmed beard.

She greets him with a hug. She keeps it gentler than she might like, given his age. He’s never appeared frail, exactly, but his features profess a wary delicateness, as if he’d been crafted of pudding cloth and porcelain.

“Niece,” he says quietly, squeezing her shoulder.

“Uncle,” she answers. It’s an old ritual, and with it Laurie’s remaining fear falls away, abandoning her to her exhaustion.

He admits her to the house, the pair padding silently across polished marble past floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Matthias’s home gives the impression of being larger on the inside than the out, a space out of time, populated by statues of stone and painted ceramic. A grand piano dominates one corner, the instrument on which Esme had performed several family recitals during Thanksgiving gatherings past. At thirteen, Laurie’d lugged her hollow-bodied electric through two airports and two more trains to her uncle’s house. After Esme played, Laurie’d produced the guitar and performed a show of her own, all barre and power chords joined to lyrics roundly condemning the evils of industrial capitalism and hypocrisy of American evangelism in terms both suggestive and explicit. The gathered family had clapped politely enough, but she later overheard her father’s sister thank him for leaving the amplifier back in Carrboro.

Esme had told Laurie she’d loved it.

“Are you hungry?” Uncle Matthias asks her as they pass the sliding double doors to the dining room and the kitchen beyond.

She shakes her head. “I’m very full of food, but thank you.”

The scene’s significantly longer now, and I’ve further defined the driver, detailed the house, and defined aspects of Laurie’s relationship to it and her family. And hey, now it’s got quotation marks! 

Once I finish the rough draft, I celebrate a bit. Hey, I wrote a fucking novel! 

But I don’t share. I know I’m not happy with the work yet. I’m sure it’s riddled with grammatical errors. It’s probably got some questionable shifts in verb tense. It likely sports an inconsistency or six. I know I can do better, so I set out to do so.

BETA, aka The First and Second Revision

Here’s where the hard work of revision begins. I read the book, taking notes on things I’d like to change, then go through carefully, making both the changes I’d noted and performing close editing. I try to polish overwritten lines and clarify confusing sentences. I look for inconsistencies, especially when moving scenes around. 

Were this a conversation in a game, this would be the point I marked it for review by a lead or solicit feedback from QA and my fellow designers. Having done a revision or two on a book, I’m feeling pretty confident in what I’ve made, so I give it to any beta readers I’ve enlisted, that they might remind me that I do, in fact, have a long-ass way to go before it’s good. 

GOLD, aka The “Finished” Product

Once I’ve got feedback from my readers (and have perhaps let the book sit for a bit to work on pre-production for an upcoming project - or just played a shit-ton of Final Fantasy XIV...), I return to the novel or conversation to polish it further. 

At this point I’m looking to flesh out details, to make sure each sentence serves a purpose. To chop off unnecessary phrases and to make sure each interaction is bringing out the characters’ personalities. 

Here’s the fourth (and currently final) revision of the scene from above:

Matthias’s hired car deposits Laurie at his gate, a break in the thick stone wall that separates the street from her uncle’s plot of dense, quiet woods. Hickories and pines obscure the sky, swaying gently on a salted breeze off of the Atlantic. As Laurie tips the driver, a pair of heavy, wrought iron hinges creak open with the low hiss of hydraulic pistons.

The man nods towards the tree-lined darkness, his gray hair half-circumscribing his bald pate. “Hop back in, and I’ll run you up. Real door to door service. If you’d like.”

Having relaxed exponentially with each mile she put between herself and the city—a charm cast by the long commuter rail ride through the dense New England night—Laurie shakes her head. “I could use the walk.”

“You don’t think you’re fat, do you?” His gaze flits the length of her, from knees to shoulders, efficiently dispelling the enchantment.

“What? No.”

“Because you’re a beanpole. Almost too skinny, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t.” Her fingernails bite her palms.

“Sure, suit yourself.” His window whispers back into place.

He pulls away, and she waits for his taillights to withdraw around the bend before walking the curled drive towards the old stone Victorian. The curtained windows glow faintly from within, and warm lamps jut from the quoins. Sprawling ivy climbs the turret, and rooftop copper has long given way to white-streaked verdigris. Matthias’s is a stately home but aging, not unlike the man himself. He meets her at the door in a dressing gown over fine silk pajamas and plush slippers. As long and lanky as his niece, Laurie’s uncle’s features add high cheekbones to a higher forehead and a well-trimmed beard.

She greets him with a gentle hug—gentler than she’d prefer, what with his age. He’s never struck her as frail, exactly, but his features profess a wary delicateness, as if he’d been crafted of pudding cloth and porcelain.

“Niece,” he says quietly, squeezing her shoulder.

“Uncle,” she answers. It’s an old ritual, and with it Laurie’s lingering fear falls away, abandoning her to her exhaustion. Her trapezius slackens beneath her uncle’s hand, her scapulae sinking as her frustration flows down her arms and through her twitching fingers. They flick the remnants away.

The pair pad silently across polished marble tiles past floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Matthias’s home gives the impression of being larger on the inside than the out, a space out of time, populated by statues of horses, deer, and dryads in stone and painted ceramic. A grand piano dominates one corner, an instrument on which Esme had performed a series of recitals following Thanksgiving dinners past. At thirteen, Laurie’d lugged her hollow-bodied electric through two airports and two more trains to her uncle’s house. After Esme played, Laurie’d produced the guitar and performed a show of her own, joining steely barre and power chords to lyrics condemning the evils of industrial capitalism and hypocrisy of American evangelism—in terms both suggestive and explicit. The family had clapped politely enough, but later she overheard her father’s sister thank him for leaving the amplifier back in Carrboro.

Esme, of course, had told Laurie she’d loved it. “Maybe my favorite song ever,” she’d said, the liar.

“Are you hungry?” Uncle Matthias asks her as they pass the sliding double doors to the dining room and the kitchen beyond.

Having stopped into a pizza joint on her way to North Station and walked out with a distended Styrofoam clamshell heavy with waffle fries drenched in cheese studded with olives, tomatoes, and jalapenos, she shakes her head. “I’m very full of food, but thank you.”

It’s not hugely different from the rough draft, but there’s a lot more detail, and the weaker phrases have been excised. Matthias no longer “admits her to the house,” for example, because it’s implied that she’s come in by the action. The details at the end about the waffle fries fill an inconsistency in the rough draft: originally Laurie’d eaten nothing that day, so why was she full here? (Deeply interesting, I know.) 

Laurie’s decision to snap back at the driver about his unasked for critique of her appearance was a result of beta reader feedback. The additional details about the decor in Matthias’s house subtly ties him to the locations of secret societies Laurie visits later in the book, details I’d not developed until the prior draft. The use of anatomical language to describe Laurie’s body reflects the character’s distance from it. She views it as something of an animate corpse she happens to inhabit rather than a core aspect of her self. Finally, Esme’s response is presented in dialog now, injecting her character into the scene and allowing the prose narration to reflect Laurie’s personality.

Nothing’s really done though. There are more hands for it to go through. Just as a game conversation undergoes changes suggested by QA, shifts in the recording booth, and may end up trimmed or entirely cut due to schedule and budget constraints or even to fix a nasty bug, a novel goes through several hands between the point where the author’s ready to query it and a publisher’s willing to put it on a shelf. But eventually you have to make the decision to be done with a piece, to mark it complete in JIRA and push it down the pipeline. 

Then you get to move on to whatever’s next. 

Cheers, <#

[bts-aesthetic-drabbles]

House Party: Part 1

Background Info: You are a foreign exchange student at Seoul University where you are studying in medical school.

Warnings: Sexual Content, Drugs, Alcohol, Swearing, Angst

I am running down the overcrowded sidewalk of my school aggressively trying to make it on time to my 8 o'clock Chemistry class, for the third day in a row. With mid terms coming up in the next few weeks, I have been desperately trying to prepare for them by staying after class for extra labs and lectures. I have lost track of how many "all nighters" I have pulled this past semester.

I have to keep my grades up in order to keep my spot in Seoul University's highly sought after medical program. I was lucky enough to get in based on my outstanding test scores, but maintaining the same standard of test scores in university is not nearly as simple as it was for me when I was in high school. 

I finally stumble into the lecture hall just in the nick of time as the professor calls my name, "-(Y/N). Huffing and puffing in exhaustion I drop down onto my seat and sling my heavy backpack on the floor as I raise my hand to make my attendance known to the professor.

I have got to start sleeping more...I can not afford a single tardy or missed class. My parents will be so unbelievably disappointed if I manage to get kicked out of this program that I’ve worked so hard to get into.

"Hey! You left this on the table yesterday on your way out of class. I tried to chase you down to return it to you but you ran off too fast for me keep up " a melodic voice chuckles from behind me as a large hand pops up next to my head.

In the hand is my cherry colored faux leather journal that is filled with very personal drawings, poetry and photos that I have taken throughout the past few years. It was been with me for quite a long time and houses some of my deepest and darkest feelings. I am mortified to think that someone might have seen what all is inside it.

I can feel my cheeks blushing like crazy as I look up any meet the gaze of the man’s shining eyes. His kind and comforting smile makes makes my heart flutter. I carefully reach out and take the small journal from his outstretched hand and look down at the desk in front of me as I grasp the framiliar book. I really hope he didn’t look at any of the things in this book...some of its contents are beyond embarrassing.

“You really should hold onto personal things like that better. There are some cruel people out there that might try to use something like that against you one day.” He says politely with a shrug as I take the book from his hand and clutch it to my chest. Ah, so he probably did at least glace over it for him to know it’s very personal. I wonder what all he saw? Was he looking for something in particular, perhaps it was just my name? I really shouldn’t always assume the worst in every situation.

None the less, he did find it and return it to me so he is owed a thank you, “ Thank you so much, I have been so scatter brained lately. I can’t seem to keep my head on straight!” I bow my head lightly to the guy and turn my attention towards the front of the class as the professor begins his lecture.

Throughout class I can’t seem to focus on anything the teacher is saying, my heart is pounding in my chest and my mind keeps on reeling. I feel like I am drowning in my own thoughts about what the guy next to me is thinking about me and what he might have seen in my notebook.

Was it something super sad and embarrassing like an emotionally charged journal entry about how lonely I am because I have no family around here and I’ve lost all my friends since moving countries. Perhaps he saw some of the (potentially creepy) polaroids I’ve taken of random groups of friends on campus that are laughing and playing games together.

Maybe be saw the sketches of random people, places and things that inspire me. The emotions, sights and experiences of everyday life that make it so beautifully fascinating.

Maybe he took the time to look at everything in the book and maybe was able to piece together how much of a depressed loner I am. Maybe he looked at the contents and connected the dots of my soul that show exactly who I am and how I feel. And maybe he showed it to all of his friends and they had a good laugh together at how much of a loser I am.

Negative thoughts continue to roll around in my brain until finally I am forced to snap back to reality as the teacher ends class and people start slamming textbooks closed all around me. I shake my head and look down at the pencil in my hand and find that I had covered my blank paper for notes in doodles of random things.

I take a deep breath and begin packing my notebook and pens back into my bag as I force my mind to refocus on reality. I can not believe that completely zoned out for this entire class, I am going to be up all night tonight trying to read what I missed. It’s not like I have any friends here that I can get the notes from. Great job (y/n), way to totally fuck yourself over yet again....

Just as I reach to tuck my red journal I nto my bag I find that there is a small folded piece of paper sticking out of the top of it. I bite my lip lightly and tuck the paper further into the pages of the book and make a mental note to check it out later as I stuff the book into my backpack and shuffle out of the nearly empty classroom.

As that was my last class for the day I decide to make my way to the large courtyard in front of the main part of campus. The courtyard is often filled with students studying and hanging out with friends at any given time of day. People like to play sports, board games, read and have meals in the lush green grass.

Most days I set up my portable hammock on a couple of trees that are off to the side of the large lawn. The spot is next to small garden that is filled with a dozen different kinds of flowers and has the best view of campus. I like to study here and people watch from my secluded little spot. It’s quiet and peaceful and helps me to get my buzzing thoughts together.

I set my hammock up and carefully lay down in it so I don’t too over, which I have done an embarrassing amount of times. I just kind of flop backwards out of the nylon swing with my limbs flailing like out of some kind of cartoon.

I pull out my journal and open it up to the page where the folded note is. With slightly shaking hands I unfold it and read what the scribbled Korean handwriting says.

Hi! I want you to let know that I tried very hard not to look at what all was in your book when I found it yesterday. I just wanted to find your name so I knew who I was returning it to but...as I flipped through your journal I fell in love with your art. Your photos and drawings had me in a trance, the way you capture the essence of such complex things like emotions and relationships is so unique and it really moved me.

One of my best friends is an art major here and I think he would die to see some of the things you’ve created.

Also, I noticed that a lot of your book was written in English, which is so cool! I’d love to hear you speak some English sometime. Maybe you can meet another one of my friends who also speaks fluent English as well!

Sorry for rambling...Anyways,

I’ve noticed that you always seem to be in such a rush...and seeing how full your book is, you don’t seem to get out very much. So, I’ve decided that you are coming to party with me this weekend. I can tell that you need to get out of your own head and have some fun for a change. I know you will probably want to say no, so here is some motivation for you to agree:

1. I am not some kind of crazy person that is trying to lure you off campus to hurt you or something. The party is at one of the frat houses just off of campus and there will be a bunch of people there so you don’t have to worry about that. You are welcome to bring a friend if you want.

2. There will be plenty of food, drinks and fun involved. I can introduce you to the friends that I mentioned earlier.

3. I will let you copy my notes from class today since you seemed to be a little spacey and in another world today.

I can’t wait to hear from you! Text me for details! (XXX-XXXX)

-Jeon Jungguk

The handwriting is rushed and a little scratchy in nature. At the bottom of the note I spot a cute drawing of a planet and some stars on it, along with a tiny smiley face.

A party? I’ve never once in my life been to a real party...what do you even wear to a party? What do you do? I can’t imagine that I would be much fun to even hang out with considering I literally bake cupcakes in my dorm room microwave on Friday nights while listening to recorded lectures as a form of ‘fun’.

But maybe it’s for that exact reason that I should try to have some real fun for once. Fun that other people my age are having.

I type Jungguks number into my phone and send him a text with a little planet emoji to let him know that it’s me. He responds almost immediately with, “Ah, so you got my note! So, what do you say? Will you be coming?”

I agree to come and he texts me the address and time for the party and tells me to be sure to pack a small bag with some essentials just incase we end up staying at the party over night. I googled it and apparently, that is a normal thing that sometimes occurs at parties...

I scuttle up and out of my hammock and fold it up and put it in my backpack along with my journal and begin making my way to my small apartment on the far end of campus. I was lucky enough to be able to afford an apartment rather than having to stay in one of the school crowded dorm rooms.

I quickly make my way down the sidewalk towards my home. After several minutes the framiliar grey and white building comes into my sight and I watch as dozens of my fellow students make their way in and out of the popular apartment complex.

The place is nothing that special but it is conveniently in the middle of campus and even pretty modern with its decorations and room accomidations, expecially considering the cheap rent.

I currently am staying in one of the one room studio styles apartments that is on the top floor of the glass building. I press the elevator button and watch as the doors immediately open and reveal an empty elevator. How fast and convenient! That never happens!

I scurry into the elevator and begin rapidly pressing the close door button before anyone can get on. I hate riding the elevator all the way to the top floor with a group of university students.

Just as the door is about to close a tan arms shoots through the narrow gap in the door and says, “hold that elevator please!” Damnit. So close.

I press the ‘door open’ button of the control panel and the door dings and reopens to reveal a very disheveled and stressed looking man.

His dark brown hair is askew and one arm is overflowing with textbooks and lose pieces of paper. He must be a science major. His aura reeks of chaos and stress, much like me.

He clamors into the elevator and flashes a dimpled smile my way as he thanks me with a small bow, “Floor 7 please. Thank you so much, I am in a huge rush. I got out of a study group late and I really need to get back to my room so I can take care of my plants! I’m already a whole hour behind schedule and I’m sure they are dying of thirst andI need to cook something for dinner and...ah sorry I’m rambling and I am sure you must think I am crazy....” He says as he runs a long hand through his messy hair and glances at the floor.

My eyes must have been wide as saucers as I tried to process the guys increasingly panicked speech, “Uh, no I don’t think you are crazy. I just think you are stressed out and in need of a break. Which I totally understand. You must be a science major like me. Hello, my name is (y/n)” I say with a friendly smile as I extend my hand towards him.

His eyes light up and he sticks his hand out towards mine and shakes it once before running his hand through his hair again, “Hi (y/n), my name is Namjoon! Actually I am an English and world studies major, but I am getting my minor is in science. What made you think I was a science major?”

Oh an English major, I bet he can speak English! I haven’t met too many English majors here in Korea. I decide to switch from Korean to English and speak the the guy to test his ability, “Ah, it was the large stack of books and the intensely stressed aura you had on you Namjoon. I think you should take some time to destress before you make yourself sick” I say in perfect English.

I watch as his eyes go wide and his mouth parts slightly as he hears me speak English yet he responds quickly and easily is English, “You speak English so well! You must not be from Korea... And yes stress is defiantly a problem. But I am trying to study as much as I can today before I spend my weekend relaxing and having fun with some friends. I advise you to do the same science major (y/n). It was nice meeting you! See you around!” He says as the elevator stops on floor 7 and the door opens allowing him to step out.

The door closes and the elevator fills with silence as I smile to myself remembered the cute dimples smile of the man I just met. The elevator ascends on more floor to my floor and I step out and make my way to my room.

I unlock the door with my keycode and push my door open and remove my shoes before stepping into the framiliar room. I flick the lights on and I can hear the faint hum of electricity as the room is illuminated. I throw my backpack down on my dining room table and sigh loudly as I throw myself face down on my nearby bed.

What a day.

[meowgetsproductive]

Getting back on your feet. Resetting. Day 1

Technically it’s day 15 of my 365 challenge/new year resolutions. However, like most of you, I ran out of steam and flopped my resolutions.

Today marks a reset to day 1. I don’t see flopping as an excuse to give up the challenge. Maybe I can’t do it for the full 365 days in a row. But maybe I can do it for two days in a row, or ten, or a month. In any case, I hope to have figured it out by December.

The 365 challenge is:

Projects 1) Edit or write 1000 words a day (currently: M39 Novel) 2) Go to gym every 2nd day (current: pass fitness test) 3) Do one course exercise a day (current: Artist’s Way) 4) Progress 1 chore a day (current: renew passport)

Habits 5) write morning diary daily (emotions) 6) stretch daily (body) 7) Meditate daily (spirit)

I’m restarting this blog to share the journey with you. Why not restart your resolutions now? Or set some if you haven’t yet, for an exciting year of growth.

So, where I’m at right now, is I’ve just awoken from burnout.

I couldn’t string two words together, much less write heartfelt 1000 words of my novel. Yesterday, I had a trip to meet my boyfriend’s parents. Sitting in front of two well-meaning strangers, being asked simple questions like "what do you do?” had me in stumps.

The parents meant my profession but I was thinking about something much more mundane.

What was I doing day to day?

Burnout is a horrible thing. It robs you of inspiration, creativity, and creates an unfillable void in your chest. Nothing feels good enough, good enough to try. Nothing is exciting. I’ve been reading day after day, all day, trying to fill that emptiness in my soul.

That trip to see “the parents” made me look at myself as an outsider. I didn’t like what I saw.

What the hell was I doing with my life? It’s only been two weeks of the resolutions and I all but forgotten them! I have lost myself, letting entropy and the lack of energy dictate my life.

So today, the start of Day 1, I am restarting this blog and getting myself into gear. Gently.

I urge anyone starting out to treat yourself gently, like a new student. To get back on your feet you need encouragement, not harsh blows of criticism.

Today’s all about getting back to our feet. Gently.

I’m typing this blog as I go, because I need gentle encouragement. Baby steps.

First thing I’m gonna do is have breakfast. Luckily I have eggs in the fridge. I did say today marks the start of Day 1. Forget the resolutions for now. Even doing breakfast feels hard.

For breakfast, I made 2 eggs with leftover tofu and spinach from who knows how long ago, and packaged miso soup. I have miso soup every day, so it’s a typical breakfast for me. You shouldn’t try to make anything fancy. A jam on toast is fine. the point is to eat something that gives you energy to start the day. It’s hard to function when you’re low AND have no physical energy either. So we start with breakfast. I also made a banana smoothie in a blender to snack on as I go.

Next, I’m gonna tidy up my room. I live in a share house and my bedroom doubles up as my study and entertainment and library. I have piles of washing on my bed, plates on my table, pillows on the floor, random plastic bags of stuff that I barely remember dumping by the bed to be dealt with later. I have so much stuff that I can barely breathe. I need orderliness to think, and right now, my surroundings make me feel anxious and suffocated.

I’m not gonna clean up the whole place, that is too much effort. But I took the dishes and cups to the kitchen. I have put scattered books into stacks so they’re out of the way. I put all used tissues in the bin.The biggest eyesore are clothes. Seeing clothes on the floor makes me feel out of control. I have two baskets where I sort used clothes instead of just throwing them on the floor. I put exercise clothes in one basket under the bed, while lounge clothes went in the other. It didn’t take long. The one thing that did take time was folding the laundry. It took time but it was worth it for the sense of freedom of my room clothes-free. Just remember, we want to create a sense of peace and serenity, so that you can get on with your day. Maybe you don’t mind your clothes on the floor, maybe for you it’s cleaning up that really ugly stain that bugs you. Or that shutter making an infernal rattling noise that you couldn’t been bothered to fix. Get your peace of mind. Fix it.

I put on some nice music while I tidied. When I was done, I lighted a scented candle to cheer up the place with a nice scent. Maybe play a victory tune to celebrate if that’s your thing.

The tidying took up more energy than I was prepared, and I feel wiped out. I haven’t even started on my daily seven yet. I just feel like collapsing with a book and not getting up again.

Luckily for me, there is one item on my daily seven that invigorates me when I remember to do it. It’s number five, the diary.

Now my diary isn’t like a normal record of the day diary that most people use. My diary are the morning pages from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. All I do is write out my worries. That’s when it works best. Sometimes I don’t know what’s bugging me and writing it long hand helps me figure it out. Sometimes I can’t think of a worry, then I write whatever is on my mind, stream-of-consciousness style. The point isn’t to list all your worries, but to let out of your chest whatever is gripping you. Sometimes it’s the excitement of a new idea, and I have written little scene sketches in the diary too. Dreams. To-dos. Battle plans before meeting The Parents. There is no wrong way to do the diary as long as you write whatever comes to mind, not stopping. “I don’t know what to write now...” is something I see too.

I did this diary for 2 pages of my large notebook, which is roughly 22 minutes. And that takes of item number five on my daily seven.

5) write morning diary daily (emotions)

I give myself a sticker for each of the seven that I complete. It cheers me up and brings a little bit of joy into my day.

In my morning pages diary, I realised that each of the items isn’t hard. The illusion of it is. It seems hard, but once you start doing, it’s actually not that hard to do the task in the moment. Stretching isn’t hard. Thinking about doing stretching, about how much time and energy it takes and that I’d have to get up and start moving and that I’ll never be flexible so what’s the use, is what keeps me stuck dead. The key is not succumbing to the illusion of difficulty, and just starting. Once I start, the task will take care of itself. 10 minutes meditation is nothing. But thinking about sitting there trying not to think and how my back always aches, is the enemy.

My advice is, start the thing. Don’t think about starting the thing. Start doing the thing. If it’s gym, get dressed and out the door. Start doing it. No debating allowed!

I’ll meditate next. Another thing that often remains undone, because it’s boring.

I find meditating boring.

Sitting without thoughts, experiencing time without beginning or end is very hard for me. I’m very good at imagining stuff, such as cleansing the chakras or directing energy in my mind. Sitting quietly with a silent mind, 10 minutes seem to go on on FOREVER.

All right, fine. Start. Not deliberate. I’m going.

I sat on a cushion and set alarm for ten minutes.

Ohh, it started off well enough. Then I got really restless. I started counting my breaths to 10, which really helped. Then after some time, my thoughts went wild. I was deciding which movie to watch tonight as my reward for doing so well, Dr Strange or Iron Man. Those are my favourite movies. Also I was thinking that I was gonna finish early today, and how early was early? At which point I realised I’ve had a pop song playing in my mind’s background for some time. Ugh.

Ten minutes felt long, but I lasted the whole time and now I feel so happy and proud of myself! I have done the meditation for today, item seven. Another sticker. Yay!

The benefits of meditation are numerous, but the benefits don’t kick in until several months in, same as gym. It took my brother 3 months of gym before he began to look great. I’ve just started gym and meditation myself on New Years Day, so it’ll take some time for my mind to center and my body to look great. Today’s a great day to start!

7) Meditate daily (spirit)

Well, I feel like I’m on a roll with my daily habits, so I’m feeling inspired to do the 10 min stretching. I’ve already done morning diary and meditation, stretching feels like a piece of cake! (See how small steps inspire more small steps? I’m all fired up!)

I put up some music, set the timer, and bam! Done. Three stickers today. The amount of bones I cracked was embarrassing.

Why do I resist stretching so much? Again, it takes time, even if it’s just 10 minutes. It’s boring, even if I put on music. Plus it hurts when I’m sore or I try the splits. Then why do it? Because doing something like a ten minute stretch helps keep flexibility and freedom of movement for life. Like all good things, the tangible benefits don’t kick in until later in life. (I’m beginning to see a pattern here).

6) stretch daily (body) Done!

That’s the Habits triad done. Yay for emotions/body/spirit!

Where’s the mind, you may ask? Well, the rest of the daily tasks are mind-heavy. Writing, gym, course exercise and chores tend to draw heavily on intellect. They make my brain flex.

Writing draws heavily on all areas.

Going to gym is as much a mental battle as physical exertion is.

By now, I’ve done the easy items on the list, the ones that take 10 minutes max. Doing it this way was semi-deliberate. I need easy wins right now to feel empowered. Attempting something like number one: writing, would be too overwhelming for me. Thanks to starting with the small items, I feel accomplished, I feel confident about getting more items done, I feel cheerful and I have what I feel like lots of energy (stretching could be at play for the energy boost).

Next, I feel like tackling the easiest item on the Projects list. Which is number four, the chore of passport renewal.

All I have to do for passport renewal is to load the official form onto USB and print it, get two passport photos, and go to post office to pay a fee and lodge the form and the photos.

The due date is tomorrow. I’ve been putting it off for a month.

The reason is, I am hesitant about taking that photo. I currently have long-ish hair at my boyfriend’s request, but I normally keep it short. I don’t want long hair in my passport photo. I have been procrastinating getting a haircut (and hurting my boyfriend’s feelings), yet I wasn’t comfortable taking a long-haired photo. That would be ten years staring at a photo that screams “not me”.

Some of you might be thinking “Gal, it’s your hair, you don’t have to do what your boyfriend says!”. I agree. This time, however, it’s not a bother to keep my hair long. I don’t care that it’s long right now (and I like that my boyfriend appreciates it), I just don’t want my hair long in my passport photo.

Alas, I’ve decided as I’m typing this this that I’ve left the decision for too long, and I’m worried about the paperwork expiring tomorrow if I don’t do something now. So, I’m gonna find that passport form and put it on USB, then fix myself for going out (long hair and all), and see if I can take the photo at the post office directly rather than getting someone to do it for me and then rushing to a printing shop last minute (for all of you who can print at home, I am jealous and I salute you!).

Finding an empty USB and loading the doc there took less than thirty seconds.

The getting ready didn’t take too long because I had met The Parents yesterday and so I was all clean. I wore the same clothes cuz I just needed to do the photo, not please people.

Doing well so far.

At the post office, the lady told me they don’t do printing. While they could do the photo, they can’t print my form to finalise the process.

I envy you, printer-owners.

I contacted a relative to see if I can use their printer, and also if they can do my photo. It would same me money if my relative could print the photo for free. They said okay.

Turns out the passport photo couldn’t be printed via inkjet printer. I only printed the form at the relative’s.

Then I drove back to post office, did the photo, and submitted the whole thing.

I’m so tired now. This recovery thing is hard.

Or maybe that’s cuz it’s early dinnertime and I haven’t had lunch yet.

4) Progress 1 chore a day (current: renew passport)

I’m gonna make some food next. It’s not dinner, not lunch, but something in-between.

I made a sandwich for that meal. Again, I wasn’t going for fancy, since I’m so low on energy.

While having lunch and talking to my brother, I have randomly uncovered an answer for a touch writing problem I’ve been having about some critique I’ve gotten. I was so inspired by this insight that I worked on the solution for about two hours, which resulted in about 2,500 words. That covers number one on the resolutions list, quite by accident.

I love when success begets more success.

1) Edit or write 1000 words a day (currently: M39 Novel)

Now it is late, and I’ve been sitting down for most of the day. Plus the gym rush has ended. A great time to head out to gym.

I didn’t stay long in the gym, only 40 minutes, 20 of which was walking on treadmill. Baby steps, remember?

2) Go to gym every 2nd day (current: pass fitness test)

By the time I got back and took a shower, it was 10pm. I still have one item not done.

This leaves only one item not yet attempted, and that is item two, the course exercise (for the Artist’s way). It takes only 5 min. I remember that all exercises for week 11 in the book are lengthy. I don’t think I can easily do any of them. So, I’m gonna do the trick I do for really difficult tasks, or tasks I’m really scared of.

I set a timer for 10 minutes.

In that time, I’m gonna read the exercises and see if I can do any today. If not, I’m going to pick one and write up a list of materials I’ll need, or do a search if the exercise asks me to contact people etc. Basically, I’m gonna spend the 10 minutes trying to progress something somewhere.

10 min. Go!

I could do one exercise. It was massive. I had to list 10 wishes in 7 areas of health, possessions, relationships etc... I only got through the heath, possessions and leisure in 10 minutes, and I thought I was coming up with wishes pretty fast. Those course exercises aren’t quick!

However it does accomplish my daily resolution of progressing a course exercise by a minimum of 10 minutes. Yay!

3) Do one course exercise a day (current: Artist’s Way)

This means I did all 7 resolutions! Hooray!

I gave myself a special sticker to celebrate!

But it did take me a full day, from breakfast to 10:30pm to do all seven, and I didn’t have any obligations today. If you have work or are looking after kids, then maybe try for one resolution a day. I definitely don’t want to be spending an entire day tomorrow doing just the resolutions. I’d like to do other things too. But today I wanted to start it easy and so I didn’t plan any other things so that I had plenty of time to do the resolutions.

I hope that once I’m more at the rolling stage, I can achieve all the resolutions in a single 3-4h evening. If you have a lot of resolutions and you’re struggling, do the math to figure out what is realistic. My resolutions take a total of 3 hours 20 minutes as a minimum (items 3 to 7 are ten 10minutes each, to a total of 50 min. Gym takes about an hour. Writing is variable, but 1 hour for 1,000 words sounds reasonable. Plus add a minimum of 5 minutes between each activity. Seven activities require six breaks, a total of 30 min). So, a theoretical 3 hour 20 minutes worth of tasks took me 12+ hours to do today. Again, be gentle with yourself.

What are your resolutions for today? I wish you success, good luck and good cheer!

Meowgetsproductive