#just UGHHHH the years i spent not listening to my body when it said it wanted sugar and salt so i couldnt hear when it wanted something els
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whoviandoodler · 1 year ago
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Actually eating food to feel better or to lift your mood or 'drown your troubles' or whatever is great!!! It's amazing and good and does help!!! Like yes obviously you should think abt the cause of your bad emotions if you haven't and stuff, but there's not a single thing wrong with eating food- including carbs, sugar, and everything seen as 'bad' by diet culture- to cope with them. Eating is good and morally neutral always and forever, and fuck diet culture for making me think for years that it's a moral failing to eat when I'm down. Sometimes you just need to have some chips or some pasta or some chocolate or literally whatever, food is love, food is comfort, let it be there for you when you can't deal with something in the moment.
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akp-1327 · 4 years ago
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dear diary // chapter three
Hey! Long time, no see! I am so, so, so sorry that this chapter is late. I’ve been having a bit of a busy time recently and haven’t had many opportunities to write/edit like usual. But now I have a looser schedule so updates to the series should go back to normal! 😄 I hope you are all doing okay wherever you are! :)
Find the series masterlist here to catch up on the previous chapter!
Word count: 4.6k
(*) Warnings: mentions of bankruptcy and emotional abuse
All I could see was red. The anger that flowed through my veins was terrifyingly smooth, leaving my entire body shaking. The news that my mom just told me, well, sobbed to me, left me in awe. In terrible, heart-wrenching, shocking...awe.
Sweetie, my mom’s sweet and clear voice bellowed through my memory, I’m so sorry. So, so, so sorry, darling.
“Charlotte, you need to calm down. Seriously. I don’t know what’s--” Leila said softly, her hands firm on my shaking shoulders.
At a time like this, I didn’t need her soothing me. I needed her to slap me out of this impending doom that I thought would tear me apart. I needed to get a grip on reality, to comprehend that this entire nightmare was actually happening.
“Leila, do you know what my mom just told me?” I huffed, throwing my phone onto the tidy bed that I had just made. Our first night in New York had started off amazingly, as if it was taken straight out of a movie; we met new and amazing people, found Leila’s wayward bag, explored the dorm building...
Then, when called my mom once we got back to our dorm...everything came crashing down like a colossal, teetering tower of Jenga blocks.
Leila scowled at me then, squeezing my shoulders harder. Her eyes, usually a coffee bean brown, looked inky black when her entire demeanor changed from confused to quite ticked off. I immediately regretted the tone I used, though there was no going back now.
“Does it look like I do? God, you can be so dense sometimes!” Leila stated, glaring right into my eyes with a look that sent a chill down my spine. “Something’s up and you need to tell me immediately.”
This wasn’t something that I thought I could even have the guts to say. But, sooner than I though, words started forming on the tip of my tongue at the speed of light; but one stood out in particular, one chilling me to the bone.
“Bankrupt.”
This set her back, making her hands falter a bit on my shoulders.
“What? Charlotte, I need deta--”
“The diner, Leila.”
The words slowly tore my heart into microscopic pieces. Every notable memory I had from my childhood took place at the diner. I could distinctly remember the scent of buttermilk pancake batter being mixed and the sounds of plates being stacked. I could remember the outside, the bright yellow paint standing out against the lifeless gray colors of the neighborhood that it’s surrounded by.
“T-The Golden Griddle?” Leila asked, confusion consuming her features once more. The intense look in her eyes slowly fizzled out and turned into pure fret. As she’d always been, Leila was not well-composed in these types of situations.
“Yes. There’s just too many complications with the building, too many expenses and so little money...” I sighed sadly. Tears welled in my eyes, though I didn’t need to show Leila that. And so, with a deep breath, I sniffled and shook my head to clear the emotions away. “My dad spent what he could to fix the cheaper things like the light fixtures and seats, but then he got carried away with fixing the rest of the bigger issues. It all added up over time, Leila. Now the diner...the diner doesn’t have anything left.”
The diner had so, so many issues for such a long time. The interior, for as long as I could remember, was small. There were only ten tables, half of those being booths that lined the walls, in total. The kitchen was also considerably compact for the amount of business that the diner would face. My parents always wanted to get around to renovate properly, but could never keep up with the overwhelming amounts of money spent on necessities like ingredients, napkins, utensils, advertisements...so DIY projects and repairs it was.
“But your parents still own it, right? They can bounce back?”
My heart yearned to be at home with my family. Why would I leave? God, I really am dense. Forget school, forget dreams. Home is where I should’ve been when that news was unveiled, not thousands of miles away.
“No. I guess the health inspector said that there were so many things with the building that set off a lot of red flags. He condemned it right on the spot.”
Leila’s eyebrow’s furrowed in thought. It was never easy for me to talk about these things - the serious things - with her. Of course, though, she knew almost everything about me; she knew that I was never the “open book” type and would always need a bit of encouragement to work my way up to talking things through. I’d rather sit and wallow in my misery than get help. The whole mindset had definitely not been ideal for anyone, but that was always the least of my worries.
The moment Leila looked back into my eyes was the moment she started to speak, her voice soft like it was before; again, I didn’t need to be sympathized, I needed to be able to see reason. This whole thing caught me completely off-guard.
Leila whispered, shaking her head, “How did this even happen?”
In high school, a very wise teacher of mine once said that there is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people who ask questions. However, by the looks of it, this was definitely an exception. Even with her ingenious, Leila had just asked one of the stupidest questions known to man. 
She knew exactly how this happened, and has known for years. The Golden Griddle’s financial instability had never, ever been able to be kept secret in a town such as Ceder Cove, no matter how many times my parents tried.
“Oh, wait. Sorry.” Leila stammered, looking up at the ceiling to collect herself.
“It’s fine. I just can’t fathom what my parents are going through right now. Henry, too.” I sighed, stepping back from Leila and letting my shoulders deflate. I slowly sat on the edge of my bed and crossed my legs, my gaze trained on the aged wood floor. “Even if I should, I’m not calling my mom back with more details tonight. This...this is just too much for me to handle right now.”
Leila was silent and I looked up to see her scrolling through her phone. 
Seriously? I cleared my throat to get her attention...but she didn’t even flinch.
“Leila. Are you even listening to me? Or...are you texting Skye?”
Leila’s eyes immediately averted from her phone to look at me. The smallest hint of a blush crept into her cheeks, though she played it off and rolled her eyes.
“Actually, Erin wants to take us shopping for the party next week when we’re available. Check your phone.” Leila stated, a defensive edge in her tone. I was the one to roll my eyes this time.
Now, let’s get this straight; I am not fond of parties. Leila had dragged me to each homecoming, each winter formal, and the two prom nights that we had. My date to prom both years, a guy named Harold Longhorn (a total snob), would not shut up about politics or the “oh-so-stupid” stock market. I only went with him because he said he’d tutor me for free with my AP Euro and AP Chem homework in collateral. Oh, and did I mention that his dad is a major entrepreneur in the Portland area? Wait, that’s unimportant; just like every single party I’ve ever been to in my life. 
“Do I have to go? I’d rather stay here and reread Pride & Prejudice for the millionth time or something that I actually enjoy. Dancing the night away doesn’t sound as interesting to me as my daily dose of Mr. Darcy.”
Leila scoffed and looked over at me again, her eyebrow quirked in such a way that left me a bit uneasy.
“News flash, Charlotte Parker, but Mr. Darcy is fictitious and will not save you from this.” Leila scolded, though she was playful about it. “I’m not letting you stay here because you’re a college girl now and you need to socialize with people other than me!”
“Ughhhh,” I groaned, laying down onto my bed and turning away from her and burying my face into my pillow that sadly smelt like home, “you sound just like my mom!”
Leila burst out into laughter that sent a faint chill down my spine. Whatever her plans were, she knew I’d loathe them.
“I’m glad.”
*
*
August 10th, 2020
Dear Diary...
Okay. Sorry for the radio silence. Lots has happened over the course of a couple weeks that I need to get off my chest. As Scar would say, be prepared...
First off, NYU is amazing. I’ve already met lots of (!!) people, though 4 have become friends! Two girls, two guys: Skye, Erin, Rory, and Ajay. They’re all really down-to-earth and genuinely cool people that I’m getting along with! 
Rory and Leila are really like two peas in a pod, and so are Skye and Leila. Leila is just a social butterfly, so she honestly gets along with everyone. Erin and Ajay, though, are more mellow and easy-going. Erin is so...laid back? Like she’s the type of person that you could spill your life story to. She’s just so, I don’t know... nonchalant? - definitely in a good way.
However, I feel more drawn to Ajay; we share similar interests and outlooks on life. He even saw my performance at Spotlite! He’s also a student director here at NYU, so if I do somehow wind up in the show, I’d probably work with him. It even helps that he’s kinda cute, but you didn’t hear that from me.
Overall, though, the campus is absolutely stunning and the view from our dorm window takes my breath away each and every morning.
Second, The Golden Griddle is doomed right now due to both bankruptcy and condemnation. My parents are all torn up about it, and to be blatantly honest, so am I. The diner has always been a home away from home, and now that I may have to face losing it forever...
Third, I HATE PARTIES. With a deep, burning passion.
Leila, if you’re reading this, then you can call me George Eacker: piss off because I’m watching this show - also known as Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - now...well..when you’re at the party! There’s no way in hell that I’m stepping foot into anything resembling a disco or a dance or even, god forbid, a hoedown like that one during our sophomore year. Nope, nope, nope. Over my dead body.
All in all, I’m having a wonderful time settling into my new life in New York. Of course I miss home, but I also feel like it was time for me to spread my wings and learn to fly!
Alright. I gotta run. I’m going shopping. And, yes, it’s regrettably for this pointless party that I’m being forced to go to against my will. 
Talk, er, write soon!
Charlotte :)
*
*
“Ooo, what’re you writing about?” Leila asked, barging back into our slightly messy dorm after finishing with her morning routine. I hastily closed my diary and forced a smile.
“Um, it’s just the address of my uncle’s new house! Mom said to write it down somewhere in case I lost my phone.”
Shoot. Thank God Leila wasn’t really paying much attention to catch how bad of an excuse that was; she just turned her back to me and scavenged through a pile of dirty clothes already heaped in the corner by her closet. It’s been six days since we’ve moved in. I still haven’t really organized nor have I gotten around to calling my parents or Henry with updates about the diner.
“Right, right. He moved a couple days ago. Though, with our plans today, are you ready to go? Erin and Skye are already waiting for us downstairs.” Leila said, grabbing her purse. I gave her a scowl and grabbed my own, sighing as I slung it on my shoulder.
“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. But I have one quick question,” I said, finally catching her attention, “why are you wearing those?”
My eyes went to the unscuffed black stilettos on her feet; they had to have been at least 5 inches tall. She laughed and instinctively brought one of her ankles up to rub it as if she’d been in pain. The stilettos were paired with a pair of skinny and holey whitewash jeans and a black Shinedown sweatshirt with a crow and a butterfly printed in white; from what I remember, that was one of the band’s songs.
“I’m wearing these to the party so I figured I’d break them in a little first. And I need to find a dress that looks good with them, so why not?”
“Fair warning, you might actually break something else before you walk a block in those death traps.” I teased, making her huff. This was obviously not something she wanted to hear, but let’s remember who was dragging me to this stupid party in the first place. My sarcasm comes with the territory!
“Jesus, you make it sound like I’m breaking a law! They’re just heels!” Leila laughed, shaking her head. Her hair had been in two Dutch braids, making her outfit even more unique. To each their own, I suppose.
“Just heels that might put you on crutches,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I slipped my (comfortable) light pink flip flops on. We headed down to the lobby and quickly spotted Erin, chatting with Rory and Ajay, and Skye standing a little off to the side.
“Ah, there you guys are!” Erin grinned, running over and leading us over to the group.
“I thought this was a girl trip?” I asked, playfully eyeing the guys. Ajay gave a tight-lipped smile and rolled his eyes.
“Oh, don’t worry, it is. We were just heading out to find Rory another outfit that he apparently needs because his six other ones aren’t enough.” Ajay explained, making direct eye contact with me. I could see the different blends of brown tinges in his eyes - the light from both the windows and the bulbs above hitting just the right angles - shimmer behind his glasses. I also noticed that he was wearing a simple green t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts with black Nike’s. 
Wait, what?
“I may have a slight obsession with shopping,” Rory said sheepishly, slowly creeping away from the group, “but I also need something fresh. I can’t be seen in the same maroon shirt that I wore to--”
Ajay’s groan interrupted him but he followed in Rory’s footsteps with a small shrug. “We’ll be going now. Have fun.”
I immediately felt myself missing his eyes. The brown sparkles that caught my own. Was it so wrong to find his eyes...gorgeous? Didn’t think so.
As they waved goodbye, Leila migrated from my side to Skye’s. The redhead looked particularly sad today, but let out the slightest trace of a smile when Leila started talking to her.
“So, where’re we going to go first, o’ wise Erin?” I asked, turning to her. She looked a bit lost in thought, a bit dazed when our eyes met, but I could tell she regained herself before she answered.
“Well, I thought we’d take a trip to The Shops today,” Erin said smugly, her hand resting on her hip, “we can take an Uber in case we want to make other stops along the way!”
Skye visibly revolted at the thought, her arms tightening around her chest and her glower intensifying. The way her blue eyes darkened was just a bit unsettling, too.
“Okay. Sounds good...” I sighed, gripping my leather purse strap a bit tighter.
“Sure,” Skye groaned, “good. Great. Grand. Just how I wanted to spend my day.”
*
*
The nearby mall, The Shops, had a wide array of stores that we buzzed in and out of, Erin and Leila eagerly leading the way.
“You know,” I said, looking over at Skye, “I really don’t understand why we need new clothes for this party.”
Skye shrugged. “Me neither. I never really had to get new clothes for the banquets that I went to as a kid with my parents.” 
I instantly noticed that her hands were in tight fists at her sides.
“What do your parents do?” I asked, trying to keep her talking. I really wanted to get to know her better; she was still such a mystery and I was destined to change that.
Though, the bitter grimace she gave at the question was all the hint that I needed to know that I’d said something wrong, maybe even crossed a line.
“They do nothing but make a lot of money and prioritize themselves over anything else, even their own kids.”
Oh, wow. I blinked rapidly, willing my brain to say, something, anything, to break the agonizing silence building between us.
“Oh. I’m sorry I brought it up.” I stammered, though she shook her head.
“It’s okay. It’s just...not something I really like to talk about.” Skye sighed, almost ruefully. Despite my pending curiosity, I left the topic be.
“What’re you here in New York to do, Skye?” I asked instead, hoping to lighten her spirits a little. When she looked back over at me, she gave me a neutral expression.
“Graphics,” Skye stated, her tone firm and assured, “I want to be a graphics designer.”
“That’s really interesting. Have you designed anything yourself?”
Sadly, before I could hear her answer, Erin and Leila gasped in unison and pointed to a store. A quick glance at the shop name was enough to make me roll my eyes.
“Windsor! Yes!” Leila squealed, bolting into the store without a second thought. Erin rushed after her, gesturing for Skye and I to follow.
Several racks of dresses filled the store and even lined the walls, some popping with bright color and some glittering with infinite sparkle. I watched Leila pluck several dresses off their racks and fold them over her arm, shaking my head.
“Wow, look at this abomination.” Skye murmured, plucking a dress made of plastic (well, not literally, but basically) off the rack. It was a flamingo pink and looked like something a Barbie doll would wear. A laugh escaped her as she sifted through and pulled out the other options, the colors ranging from a vibrant cobalt to a neon yellow.
“I’ve always wanted to be Barbie disguised as a highlighter! Skye, how’d you know?” I giggled, taking a resembling green one off the same rack. My poor eyes ached at the sight of all the vivid colors.
“Pure intuition, obviously.” Skye responded, putting the dresses back on the rack. “Jeez, I could never wear any of these.”
I could agree; I would never be able to pull any of these off. Also, it didn’t help that they were so effervescent and looked severely uncomfortable. (I mean, how do you even move in that kind of material?)
“Me neither,” I said wistfully, plucking another dress off a nearby rack. It was a black sweetheart-necklined dress that cut off at (what I’d say) the knee. It had some lace detailing on the straps and a few sparkles scattered across both the bodice and the skirt. It wasn’t over-the-top, nor was it boring...
I held it up to Skye, making her jump back a little with surprise. I giggled and closed an eye, coming to a conclusion about how this dress would look incredible on her.
“Whoa, what’re--” Skye asked, her eyes widening. I smiled warmly and laid it over her arm.
“I think this is a good option for you, and I’m guessing your a 4?” I smirked, watching her gape in both confusion and amusement.
“How’d you...know?”
“Pure intuition, obviously.” I playfully mocked, making her crack a tiny smile. As we continued throughout the store, we came across a few more ridiculously bright options, thankfully not made out of a faux plastic. 
About five minutes into our little exploration, I spotted a dress; it was a silvery mauve skater dress with a flowing skirt and spaghetti straps. By some sort of force, it spoke to me.
“That’s pretty,” Skye said, nodding in approval as I held it up, “ it definitely speaks ‘girl who can read minds’ to me.”
Oh jeez, she’s cool. She’s really cool.
“Perfect, it’s just what I’m looking for, then,” I joked, folding the dress over my arm and walking further into the store. Erin and Leila, practically having the time of their lives, had their arms brimming with dresses that ranged from super glittery to extremely bright. I could swear I could see a familiar highlighter yellow in Leila’s stack, but that could just be my mind playing tricks on me.
Speaking of Leila, I stifled a giggle as I watched her wobble around in her stilettos, grimacing whenever she walked too fast. Not to say I told you so, Leila, I thought, but...I told you so.
“Ladies!” Erin squealed, pointing back to the dressing room area with her free hand. “Let’s go try these on!”
*
*
“How about this masterpiece?” Leila giggled, sauntering out of the dressing room. Erin burst into laughter, Skye rolled her eyes, and I, well...
“Oh my God, Leila...” I playfully gagged, covering my eyes. Turns out that she really did pick out a highlighter dress to try on. After a few laughs, she turned around and changed into a royal blue dress with a deep V neckline. It was sparkly, sassy, and overall...very Leila.
*
*
“Wow, you look great, Skye!” I cheered, giving her two thumbs-up as she examined herself in the mirror. The dress was a perfect fit and she seemed to be comfortable in it. Her hands idly fiddled with the skirt, experimentally flicking it back and forth in thought.
“It seriously looks amazing on you!” Erin smiled, nodding with approval. Skye gave me a small, appreciative smile in the mirror.
I took a quick glance over at Leila and was met with her wide eyes and deep red cheeks.
*
*
“Charlotte, phew, you look hot!” Leila whistled, gesturing for me to spin around. I didn’t really gush over the “dream dress” as much as I had hoped. In fact, the more I looked at it, the more I disliked it.
“Maybe we can find a different color?” I said, looking back at Erin’s face; she definitely did not like it. She shot up out of her chair and came back a moment later with a similar option. It was the same style of dress but in a jade green shade instead. It was also not as shimmery, but more dull and had ruffles on the neckline.
I ducked back into the dressing room and quickly changed. With just a glance at myself now, I knew I found the one. I stepped back out and saw everyone’s face light up.
“Yup,” Erin said smugly as she crossed her legs, “that’s the one.”
*
*
Erin walked out in a tight-fitting midi white dress that popped against her flawless chocolate brown skin. It had a plunging V-neck and a small slit on the left side that climbed all the way up toward the middle of her thigh. Needless to say...she was killing it.
“Now I just need some hoops...” Erin mumbled as she examined herself. Leila looked over at me and just gaped.
“Stunning!” I said, and Erin gave me a warm and self-satisfied smile.
*
*
Finally, we were heading home in an Uber. But because of how long the shopping took, we decided to stop and get some ice cream from a local parlor; all after persuading the driver to wait for us with a hefty tip.
Erin munched on a mixture of raspberry and vanilla, Leila got creamsicle all over her face, Skye picked at her brownie swirl, and I delightfully ate two scoops of cake batter.
“So. Are you two excited about going to this party now?” Erin asked, eyeing Skye and I. At the same time, we both shook our heads.
“New dress, same feelings.” Skye sighed, looking down into her dish. I nodded in agreement only to hear a dramatic sigh from Leila.
“You two will have fun. We’ll find fun things for you guys!” Leila grinned, glancing at Erin. The two shared a look that, like all the times before, sent a chill down my spine.
“You guys can’t make us have fun.” Skye said, figuring her face was serious; but I looked over to see a teasing smirk on her face.
“Well, we can sure as hell try! Besides, what do you guys have against parties?” Erin said, her tone a bit more tame then it was before. My eyes averted from theirs, and without looking, I could tell Skye was doing the same.
Awkward silence wracked the table for what seemed like hours before Skye spoke up.
“You can thank my parents for being the pessimistic and narcissistic assholes that they are. My distaste originates from them.” Skye said, her teasing tone completely replaced with a hiss. She spoke in a mumbled tone, as if she wished she didn’t want to speak.
“I’ve just never been really...happy with the ones I’ve gone to in the past.” I added awkwardly. I thought about the one good party I went to...and of course it had to be from the diner. Emotions bubbled in my throat and were about to escape before Leila (thankfully) interjected with a disapproving groan.
Then, right after, all three of us got looks of unbridled hope and amusement from Erin.
“That’s going to change because, dearest freshmen, you’ve never experienced a party quite like a college party.”
And it can stay that way, I thought.
*
*
The rest of the ice cream was eaten alongside lighter conversation, and then, FINALLY, we were back in the dorms.
The afternoon flew as I decided to buckle down and unpack the remainder of my things. Leila went to hang out with Erin and Skye (without heels, if you were wondering) as I slaved away at stacking my t-shirts in my closet, that is until I got a knock at my door.
As soon as I opened it, I saw a familiar pair of gorgeous eyes lock onto mine.
“Hi, I know this is kinda weird,” Ajay said casually, “ but I have a question for you.”
I leaned against the door, praying I didn’t look like an uncoordinated mess. “It’s not weird at all, actually. Shoot.”
God, his eyes are just breathtaking in any and every way. Was it weird to be obsessing over an acquaintance’s eyes like this? Yes, I thought, yes it was.
“Well, since we really don’t want to go to the party, I was hoping we could try to get something out of it?”
What does he mean? If we didn’t want to go, what good would we be able to get out of it?
I tipped my head a bit to the side in curiosity and felt some of my blonde hair come loose from its bun.
“Let me escort you. To the party.”
Wait, was that an actual thing? An escort to a college party? No way. It sounded so childlike, almost like something an elementary kid would say.
“Hang on. Do you mean, like, as a date?” I asked, my tone packing more intensity than I had hoped. His eyes widened and he shook his head.
“No, no. I just want to get to know you better. I thought that this would be a better option than hunting you down in a huge mass of drunk people and ending up not being able to find you.” Ajay explained, a light smile tugging at his lips. “So...?”
Maybe spending the night with someone with the same ideals as me would make the night less dreadful, perhaps even fun. I barely gave the idea a thought before words left my mouth. 
“Sure, Ajay, I’ll be your escort.”
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darlingpetao3 · 5 years ago
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Wells Trash Trio (Harry Wells x Reader, Part 2)
Rating: T
Summary: While out with your friends, you all spot the mega-handsome Doctor Harrison Wells, your ex-professor for a semester. Should you approach him at the bar
?
A/N: I would like to dedicate this fic to my very best friends, who became so shortly after I wrote the first part of this story almost 2 years ago. I love you @central-city-meta-pocalypse and @letyourimaginationrun - this one’s for you! May we live in our little trash can forever ❀
PART 1
(Sorry, I freaking love this spork and I had to add this gif XD)
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“It’s him!”
“It is not.”
“I’m telling you, it’s himmmm!”
“How can you be sure?”
“We spent a whole freaking semester staring at the man, you think I don’t know his body’s every outline?!”
“Wow, we really are trash, aren’t we?”
“And you know, it’s not like he wears a suit every hour of the day.”
“Don’t remind me
”
“Like in the-”
“-Don’t say it-”
“-SHOWER.”
“She said it!”
You and your two friends let out a lusty “ughhhh” in perfect unison, which is of course followed by quiet giggles and groans.
What has got you three so worked up? None other than your ex-professor at CCU - Harrison Wells. He may be wearing a classy black sweater rather than a sleek suit, but there’s no denying it. The man, and it’s clearly him, sits at the bar with his back to you, nursing what appeared to be an expensive scotch.
The three of you really needed to pull yourselves together. Especially in public. Tonight is cocktail night at Jitterbugs and the place is filled with patrons to listen to talented singers lined up for the evening to go along with a good drink.
The dark, wispy-haired head of the genius turns slightly at the bar at your noises.
“Shhhhhh, shhhhh, shut ittttt!” your one friend hushes.
“Should we just leave before we embarrass ourselves further?” you suggest.
“Slip through the back?” prompts the other mischievously.
“Jesus,” you shake your head.
“(Y/N), you should order us another round. Go up there by him. You’re brave.”
“I am not brave!” you whisper-hiss.
“But you’re going to work for him, right? The great Doctor Harrison Wells? He chose you, which means he likes you! Go spark up a conversation with your future boOOOooss.”
“First, it wouldn’t be because he likes me. It would be because I’m right for the company. Second, I only just got the employment letter! I haven’t accepted yet, remember? He is not my boOOOooss yet.”
Your friends give you a look.
“Fine. I’ll go, I’ll go.”
Taking a deep breath, you make your way over to the bar to place a drink.
“Miss (Y/L/N)?”
Ugh, that voice. You’ve missed it. With the best fake-surprised expression you can manage, you turn to face the man of your affections.
“Oh! Doctor Wells, hello. How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you,” he replies. “And yourself?”
“Good, yes, very good.”
Can I not say anything more articulate than ‘very good’?
“Here with friends, are you?” the dashing scientist asks, leaning on his elbow on the bar.
“That’s right
” Wow, what are words? You give a bit of an awkward laugh. “I’m sorry, I have to say it’s a little strange to see you off-campus.”
He smiles kindly at you. “It usually is for most.”
There’s a short pause wherein you mentally freak out a tad. Thankfully, Doctor Wells continues. “Have you given any thought to the position?”
Don’tdon’tdon’tdon’t, you scold yourself at the potential for an inappropriate innuendo.
“I have... and it’s a yes,” you tell him, trying to hold back a massive grin. “I would love to work for you, Sir.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Truly,” the man says. He hesitates in something but at last asks, “Might I buy you a drink in celebration?”
It’s quite possible all the air has escaped from your lungs. Harrison Wells wants to buy you a drink. Surely not in the way you want it to be, but still!
“Oh! Yes, thank you.”
He puts in an order to the bartender of what you were previously drinking, and you pay for the next round for your pals too. Doctor Wells glances down at the counter to where you’re resting your phone. A tiny smirk plays on his lips.
“But I won’t keep you any longer from your friends.”
You yourself look to your phone, now glowing in your hand and blowing up with notifications from the most lovely yet embarrassing people you know.
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Could they be anymore mortifying?! He totally saw those messages, didn’t he? You may need to change your name and move to Keystone. How does one fake their own death?
“Okay, yes, right,” you fumble, and take your drinks off the counter. “Um, thank you so much! Again!” You start to head back, but Doctor Wells’ voice causes you to freeze.
“Miss (Y/L/N)?”
You turn to him. “Yes?”
“May I say you look very nice tonight?”
...Life complete.
You blush profusely at his compliment and try not to act too caught off-guard.
“You may. Thank you. And you do as well. Okay, bye!”
Your friends are going to die when you tell them.
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lilacflamesss · 6 years ago
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shattered 10 preview
im sleepy and tired, but this is probably the last one for this chapter
“Where did this suddenly come from?” he asks slowly.
She looks up at him, eyes wide. She seems surprised, like she hadn’t expected this reaction, as if she had expected him to start jumping in joy the moment he heard those words out of her mouth.
“I
” She tries to speak but stops, looking away. The water continue to falls on them, though it starts to run cold. He’s overwhelmed with nostalgia-- this is just like that night, the night she had promised that things would be different only for nothing to change for the next few months.
It’s happening again.
He had given in then. He had given her a chance. He gave her an opportunity to love him the way he wanted her to. Yet it hadn’t worked out, not until now apparently. Kirishima Ayato isn’t the smartest person around. But he’s definitely not dumb.
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” he sighs. He pushes her away, wrenching her hands off his t-shirt. Hinami watches him-- she looks bewildered-- as he turns off the shower and steps out. “I told you, Hinami, we can’t be doing this.”
He needs to go. He knows themselves well enough to know that he can’t trust himself alone with her. He will give in.
“Where are you going?” Hinami asks. He doesn’t reply initially, walking out of the bathroom and to his closet. He hears her following behind him. She’s probably still naked and she’s probably still wet. He really shouldn’t look at her. But she comes all the way up to him, grabbing him by his arm and turning him to look at her. “Ayato! What are you doing?”
“I’m going to Touka’s,” he says. “If I stay here, I know I’d end up giving in. You were right. This is a bad idea.”
“What about me?”
“You can stay here for the night. Just leave in the morning when the dorms are open,” he replies. He tries to keep his distance even till now, to remain as emotionless as he can while he speaks. His heart is still pounding in his chest from what she had said but he knows better than to hold on to any kind of hope when it comes to this. When it comes to her.  
“What? You’re leaving me alone here?” Hinami sounds partly offended and partly confused. “Ayato, did you
 hear me just now?”
“I did,” he says flatly.
“And?”
“And what?”
Hinami blinks. Once. Twice. And then she shakes her head. “You’re going to just ignore it?”
“Yes I am.”
Hinami frowns. She looks like she’s on the verge of tears but perhaps the whole unexpectedness of this situation must be what’s keeping her from crying right now. He almost feels bad. There probably is a better way to deal with this. But he knows that nothing good is going to come out of getting too invested. They’ve messed each other up far too much for them to simply be just friends anymore. He can’t support her and be there for her without it becoming something more.
They’re neither friends but definitely not lovers. They can never go back to being friends. They’ll never become lovers. This is their fate now. The moment he suggested the arrangement two years ago, he signed the end to their friendship.
“But fine, I’ll tell you this one thing. You’re wrong, Hinami,” he continues. “You don’t love me. You can’t love me.”
Hinami’s eyes go wide. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’ve given up, Hinami. I’m done with waiting for you. I’m done with hoping. I had enough so please, let me go.”
“No,” she says. “I’m not lying or anything, Ayato. I’m serious.”
“Where did this suddenly come from?”
“I was talking to Big Brother and he told me that I’m in love with you and then I thought hard. He’s right—”
“So you decide that you love me because Kaneki told you that you do?” he scoffs. Ayato doesn’t think he’s been more disappointed in something than he feels right now. He had told himself not to keep any hope, but it seems like somewhere in there, perhaps he had been hoping it was real.
“Yes, but—”
“So it’s Kaneki again?” He thought he’d be angrier. But there’s no fury in his voice at all. It’s cold, almost devoid of emotion. If anything, he sounds tired and that’s probably because he is tired. With everything that has gone on with Hinami, he feels fucking exhausted. He wants to go back to an hour ago, sitting on the couch with Touka, being held by his sister as she spoke words of comfort to him. It’s funny; he’s avoided that house for so long, worried about the bad memories that had been lingering there. Right now, he wants to be back there. He wants to take up Touka’s offer. Moving back home doesn’t sound half as bad as he thought it was initially.
“Kaneki was just being honest about what he thought and I think it makes sense,” Hinami argues.
But it doesn’t make sense to Ayato, especially not after he’s spent weeks convincing himself that she’s not in love with him and will never be in love with him. What does he do now that she’s suddenly back into his life telling him the words that at one point, he had wanted to hear more so than anything else? There’s no way this can be real.
“You’re just listening to him again,” Ayato growls. He tries to walk away but Hinami moves in front of him, hands stretched out to her sides as she fumes at him.
“It’s not like that at all!”
“Move, Hinami.”
“No!” She frowns, looking at him with a determined glare. “I’m not leaving. I’m not letting you leave.”
She’s never been this desperate for it before, but it doesn’t look like she’s going to give him a choice right now. He sighs but steps towards her nonetheless. He supposes one more time wouldn’t hurt. Hinami’s eyes are wide as he picks her up, the speed taking her by surprise as she grabs his shoulders tightly. Her body is still wet from the shower and so are his clothes, he realises. He’s being washed by nostalgia right now— him, in drenched clothes, carrying a dripping wet Hinami out of the shower and to his bed. She had said something back then to him too and he had bought completely into those words. But that was then and now is now; he’s not going to be a fool and fall for the same thing twice.
He throws her on the bed and crawls over her. Hinami is looking up at him. He doesn’t make a move, waiting for her to start. He’s not going to do anything unless she really wants him to. She’s going to have to push him to the very edge before he even starts.
Hinami simply watches him for a moment. When she eventually does move, all she does is cup his face as a small smile surfaces on hers.
“I’ve missed you,” she admits. She doesn’t pull him into a kiss, doesn’t try to remove his clothes and doesn’t push him down to crawl over him. He remains silent and still— responseless— as he watches her. It doesn’t seem like Hinami is doing anything at all. She’s just staring at him.
He gives in. “What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I just wanted you to know what I truly feel,” she says.
He shakes his head. “Those aren’t your true feelings, Hinami. The only one who has your heart is Kaneki.”
“But weren’t you the one who said that one day someone will come and sweep me off my feet?” Hinami points out.
“Yes but that person is not me,” Ayato hisses. He pushes her hands away from his face and pins them down. “We’ve done too much and gone too far for something like that to happen to us.”
“It’s only because all of those things happened that something like this is happening now,” Hinami insists. “I know I can trust you, Ayato. I know what kind of person you are and I know that I have nothing to fear being by your side.”
“So you’re just here for the security I give you,” he scoffs.
Hinami smirks. “If it’s security I wanted, I’d have pretended to be in love with you from the very beginning.”
IM EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER SO MUCHHHH, and the next one too ughhhh
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