#just . ik i should avoid source content

[echidnana]

feel so weepy . so much love in my heart for my family. and so much sorrow for them.

[bsdawgz]

「 ✦ Yours ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Armed Detective Agency: Atsushi Nakajima

a/n: took a while but here is the ~atsushi~ counterpart from the soft aku vs. atsushi fic poll. (here is the soft aku fic) i hope you enjoy ♡

genre: f!reader. smut with angst (you cheated on atsushi omg... 🥲). makeup sex.

content warnings: MDNI! possessiveness, unprotected sex + he cums inside (*these are very risky*), overstimulation, general angst, he gets rough at the end (yes ik it was supposed to be a soft fic, but...)

summary: no matter what happens, you'll always run back into the arms of the man who taught you how to love – and he'll run right back to you, too.

you don't know exactly how you ended up here. come to think of it, though, this is always where you end up – right in front of the ada's dorm at the crack of dawn. once the drunkenness of twilight has settled into a sobered reality, your feet stumble on their own in front of this door, seeking shelter from whatever it was that sent you reeling in the first place. it's been said that night time is the play time for sinners and devils. this past year, you found out that you're no exception to that rule – for here you are as living proof, crawling back in search of forgiveness from the very person you've wronged.

"for atsushi?" a familiar voice calls from behind you before your knuckles rap at the door. you barely heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, but you're not surprised to find that dazai's still up. how appropriate for the two people guilty to both be wide awake at this hour. still, running into him like this sends a shiver up your spine. you freeze in your tracks, half expecting him to discourage you from what you're about to do – but instead he just walks past you without another word, and maybe that's even worse. it's just a reminder that you were nothing to him, and that he's barely had to suffer from the consequences of the night you caught together.

you'd imagine that sleeping with atsushi's girlfriend put a strain on dazai's personal and professional relationship with him, even if it only happened one time. at the end of the day though, dazai was atsushi's superior – and the source of his food and housing – and atsushi had no choice but to accept that reality.

you, on the other hand, were cut out of his life. it had been months of no contact between you and your now ex-boyfriend. all texts were left on seen, every call sent to voicemail. you could even swear that atsushi was avoiding all the spots he used to frequent, just to make sure he didn't run into you by chance. you never thought you'd be a cheater – never, ever in a million years – but here you were, having done that very thing to the person who taught you the meaning of unconditional love.

how could you be so selfish? so thoughtless? stupid, even? you'd take it all back in an instant, but you know can't. your feet are about to move. you're about to turn back. you should... yes, that's exactly what you should do. tonight feels too soon – it's all wrong. running into dazai last minute proves that.

and yet, just as you're about to bolt down the stairs, you hear it – the sound of the door in front of you unlocking. it's like a quiet charm. his voice is like a wish that you whispered under your breath. "it's you..." soft-spoken, just as he always has been, and there he is –

– atsushi nakajima himself.

"do you need something?"

there's no malice in his voice – just the same tenderness that he's always carried with him. something about it in this moment feels heartbreaking. you almost want him to yell at you or scold you, just so you can apologize to him with your whole self, or let him know how much you've regretted that day. instead, he stands there with his arms drooped at his sides, unfeeling. it's cruel, that minute of empty silence. you wonder if he's about to close the door on you. maybe he should. it feels like you're miles apart, and the distance is deafening.

just one second more, you think to yourself. it's selfish, you know. let me memorize what you look like. let me remember how your bangs fall. the color of your eyes.

you open your lips to speak, but it's your feet that move instead. one moment you're in front of him, but then you blink, and you're closing the distance between you – you're sobbing on his shoulder, your arms around his neck. silence, save for the sound of your stifled cries against his now-stained sweater.

he wants to push you away, but he doesn't. his arms wrap around your waist instead. the feeling of your body, pressed tight to his, is all too familiar. you're warm, and you smell so nice. it's that same shampoo you've always used, the one he likes on you. you're pretty today, hair falling into place like this. you're just as he remembers. this is his favorite knit on you – you look just as lovely as you did yesterday.

he says nothing, stunned. what is there to say in a situation like this? all he can do is cling to you, hope you don’t let go of him the way you did many nights before… that you don’t tire of him, toss him aside like you did that night. "why didn't you come back sooner–?" there’s a tremble in his voice, and he falls apart. when you meet his gaze, you realize the reason he hasn't pulled away is because there are tears in his liquid eyes. "don't tell me you wanted him instead?" his voice falters. you shake your head wildly, trying to force him to look at you again, but he's pawing your hands away. there’s a pain expression on his face when he finally looks back up at you, wincing. it’s like that of a beaten dog that's come crawling back to its master.

"i thought you hated me..." you confess, words spilling out, "– and you have every right to... it should have only been you.

i only want you."

your words strike him down. his hands are pushing you away at first. at least, that's what he thinks, because every part of him is telling you that's what they should be doing. every part of him is telling him to tell you to get out of his sight, to get out of his life, because he knows it must be wrong to do what he’s about to do. there's a reason that he avoided you in the first place, isn’t there?

but he's past the point of return now – in his heart, he knew this is just how you two would end up.

there's a reason he avoided you in the first place after all, isn't there?

with you in his arms, looking at him the same way you always have, it's no use. guided by sheer instinct, there's no shred of timidness in the fierce way that he grabs at you now. those same hands that pushed you away are now reaching for you, pulling you into his arms with just as much ferocity, eager to hold you again. there's a neediness to the way that he clings to every curve and crevice. you melt into him, and his lips are on yours.

it's been so long – too long. he didn't think your reunion would go like this. at least, he imagined that if it would begin with more talking. with you standing in front of him, though, the memories are all coming back so suddenly –

every laugh, every look;

every argument.

you were his first everything – god, he missed you.

how did he last this long without you?

his hands find your waist first, molding to your form. then, the next thing you know, his hands are on your ass, and he's digging into the fat with his fingertips, and you feel him pin his hips flush against yours as he backs you into the darkness of his room. tonight, it's not enough to just have you – he needs to claim you, all of you.

the door locks behind you, a quiet clinking of metal as atsushi's fingers fumble with the handle, then you feel your back thud loudly against the wall that you know is shared with dazai's room. you gasp quietly as teeth skim your neck, his lips latching onto the tender skin between your collarbone and shoulder. then, you feel his hands grasping you clumsily as he undresses you hastily, desperate to cover every inch that he's touched, to erase every memory of him that might be left.

"am i... being too rough?" he asks concernedly as he helps you out of your cardigan, discarding it on the floor. his voice is a heated whisper in your ear. "it's okay?"

groping him through his pants, you hear his breath grow shallow, watch as he swallows his own spit, his iridescent eyes following you closely as you trace his outline. his breath is ragged, hungry. he lowers his hands from you – lowers all of his defenses – and you sink to your knees, your hands caressing him everywhere, your lips tracing the lean muscle of his body, your mouth re-mapping his skin into your memory... as if you could ever forget what atsushi, of all people, feel like, when he's the very person who taught you what it meant to truly love someone.

your fingers hooking on the waistband of his pajamas, you tug them down his legs along with his boxers, then take his length into your hands. he sucks in a sharp, shaky breath, holding your gaze as you stroke him once from base to tip, enamored completely by the way you look right now on your knees for him – how long has it been since you've touched him like this? he's ashamed to admit that he's thought about this day more than once, now forced to spend an awful amount of time reflecting on how different his calloused hand feels from yours when he's touching himself at night, alone. now, here you are right in front of him, your palm wrapped around him so perfectly. it feels like a fantasy.

you're kissing it, lips pressed to the pretty tip as you bat your eyes at him. atsushi's barely had the time to process that you're here, and now you're flicking away the beads of pearlescent precum with your soft, wet tongue – and god, it feels so heavenly to have you like this. he reaches for you mindlessly, petting your hair, then he lets out these beautifully soft, whimpered moans as you suck on him – a breathless "oh my god..." rolling off of his lips when you finally take all of him into your mouth. "feels... so good..."

then suddenly, you hear him curse under his breath, tossing his head backward when you feel him abruptly hit the back of your throat, hips thrusting forward –

"– ah, god... fuck..." – before he quickly shoves his hand against his mouth in complete embarrassment, face flushing bright pink as he stammers out a quick apology and steadies himself. it's the first time you've ever heard him say something like that during such an intimate act. you stare at him wide-eyed, shocked, but he's avoiding looking at you now, blushing to himself and watching you through his fingers as he pants quietly into the palm of his hands.

then, "kiss me – please." it's a simple request, but it's full of urgency. god, how he's missed you. he cups your cheeks in his hands and brings your lips to his. it's a passionate kiss, sloppy and wet, the type of kiss that has teeth clumsily collide and noses briefly bump against each other. you feel his hand grasp your thigh. he wraps it around his waist, then suddenly his fingers are seeking you through your cotton panties. he pushes the fabric to the side, then you gasp aloud as you feel those slender fingers of his thrust so deep inside of you. it feels dirty – too dirty, even. different, at the very least. the two of you have only ever made love before, and now he's fucking you with his fingers.

"does it feel good?" his voice is a low whisper in your ear. you can feel his hot breath on your neck, his tongue teasing your earlobe, as he slides his fingers in and out of you, collecting your sticky arousal on his fingertips. you moan as you feel his thumb find your clit, making slow, steady circles, then you pull back from the kiss to look at him, just to see the face he might be making at you. he's gazing at you with these half-lidded, lustful eyes that are just desperate to hear your praise. though inexperienced, atsushi's always been an attentive lover, keen to your every sound and movement. as his first, you taught him everything he knows – and as such, you've taught him exactly how to pleasure you. drawing his name from your sweet lips comes all too easily.

he's greedy with his fingers, eager to taste you on his tongue, and you watch him as he licks you off his fingers and kisses you again and again like it's never enough. he's even greedier with his words, eyes glinting with satisfaction after you cum on his fingertips, crying out for him.

"i can make you feel better than he can," he coos into your neck as you convulse in his arms. "i'll make you feel so good."

atsushi's never thought of himself as a possessive man, but things certainly change when someone takes away what's rightfully his. now, with you singing his praises, he can't help but want more. fingertips burrowing into your hips, he bends you over his desk and you hear him ask,

"can i put it in just like this?"

your eyes widen –

of all the things he could have said, you'd never expect this – and from atsushi, of all people. "raw?" you stutter out in disbelief, and he nods at you unflinchingly, continuing to pamper you with his affection, hands reaching for your breasts, shaping and squeezing them around his palms. "it's risky..." your voice trails on the last syllable, words subsiding into a soft moan as you feel his finger traces around your nipple before he claims them with his tongue. you push the messy bangs out of his forehead to read his expression, but there's not an ounce of hesitation on his face.

– "i know that."

you're trying to think straight, but you can't. all you can think about is how intensely hot your body feels right now, and what it might feel like to have him fuck you until you've been completely forgiven. slipping your soiled panties down your legs, you nod at him to continue. "yes, i want it," you whisper desperately, and you're surprised when your voice comes out like a whine as you ease your thighs apart for him. "put it in… please –"

he nods, then reaches for himself. he's as gentle as he always has been with you – perhaps even more so tonight as he presses fleeting kisses to your hair and murmurs reassurances into your shoulder that he's about to put it inside. his lips are soft against your neck and spine.

you moan as as he slips the blunt head inside your wet, waiting entrance. he’s careful not to hurt you, guiding it slowly. it’s perfect. how long has it been since you've felt this – since you've felt him touching you like this? so loving. so right. you sigh into his touch, listen to the sound of his sharp inhale and feel him nearly collapse into your back once he bottoms out inside you.

he's amazed by the feeling of your bareness against him and the way your slickness squeezes around him. he pauses, then glances down. oh, wow – the sight of himself disappearing inside of you is enough to drive him wild. you're so warm and wet. kunikida was wrong when he said sex without a condom feels the same as sex with a condom. he must have been lying just to keep him safe when he first started having sex because this feels a thousand times better – he can feel everything like this, all of you. every ridge, every pulse, the very ache that’s throbbing inside of you. you're gripping him so perfectly. he needs it so badly… needs you so badly.

"mm, it's so good..." he groans, pressing his lips to your neck. then, you feel him start to move from behind you, hear the quiet sound of his skin hitting yours as he brings your hips back against him, nice and slow. the room is silence save for the sound of your breath becoming shallow as his pace quickens. his fingers seek you again between the thighs, and you shudder forward, burying your face into the wood of the table as you gasp. "does it feel good for you too?" his voice is a low whisper in your ear. "yeah?"

you whimper out your approvals, feeling his thumb pressing on your clit again. you're so sensitive from your last high that you cry out, sobbing as you beg for more. he pins your wrists behind your back, pushing you into his desk, and you feel him reach you at an angle you've never felt him before. he's so rough tonight – but it feels so good.

"h-harder–" you stammer out, and you feel him shove your face against the desk as he thrusts faster. "i need you so bad." you're liquid in his hands and you melt as you moan out his name, tthe syllables are sloppy on your tongue, spilling from your lips like water as you cum from his fingers again.

"a... tsu.. shi... please. atsushi..."

yes, say it just like that – atsushi, atsushi. atsushi.

then, "where do you want it?"

– "inside me."

you feel his fingers tip your chin toward him, then his eyes are on you.

there's not an ounce of malice behind those iridescent eyes as he bats his eyelashes at you – just the same tenderness that he's always carried with him.

"watch me cum for you."

there's a steadiness to his voice, an unwavering certainty as he captures his lips in yours and leaves you breathless. "you're mine. don’t ever leave me again.”

then, you feel it: his cum leaking down your thighs.

warm and white, trickling down your legs.

you'll take all of it, all of him.

"i'm yours, atsushi. yours… yours."

author ps: yes it has similar themes to the aku x reader one yes i am a sskk shipper on the side

© BSDAWGZ 2024. Do not steal or repost ANY of my works! That’s plagiarism, and it’s mean. :(( Beautiful dividers by @ v6que~!

[dojae-huh]

Hi, I'm Do young fan.

I want ask your opinion.

I read in a tarot account. That ty is ready for solo debut. They say he is being in the list of members that SM Entertainment is interested in debuting solo in the next 2 years (Temperance), They also see that some of the other members in the same list are favored by certain higher-ups, which will help them debut faster. They say this feels very much like favoritism.

The first of all I don't care and not believe with tarot. But my heart is ache look the qrt. I know they thought that is Doyoung who favored by sm. Cuz i see some akgaes of ty, yt, taeil. And ik they referred to Doyoung.

I won't be a rude fan, and hating other member. But their fan f annoying for me.

It is logical to think that Taeyong will go solo soon:

He already released solo songs. He writes and produces for NCT and for himself, he makes choreographies.

He is one of the oldest, he will have to enlist in two years. It is better to release a solo before it.

Taeyong is very popiular. Has more than a million of monthly listeners on Spotify. He was called monster rookies for his talents, he is an Ace member. He will sell.

Taeyong has pretty narrowed down his style and what he wants to express. At least enough for the start, for the first album.

Doyoung still can't decide what he wants. However, SM is interested now in releasing 40+ albums annualy. It needs to make new debuts often as well. Most of the members from the older groups released have started their solo career, therefore it is now the time for NCT members to go one by one. It is quite possible JaeDo will get a solo album each in 2024.

It is very easy to find hurful and triggering words to get at someone. People, as social animals, are afraid to be ostricised, to be laughed at, to be ridiculed. Although the comments are directed towards Doyoung, he is dear to you, so it affects you as well (your "kin" is attacked). The agression you feel is natural.

And yet, natural in origin or not, it is just instincts. What you should do is make "the danger" smaller, insignificant, not worthy of your reaction. You should realise that comments are just words, and the commentators are fans with no real power (they are not CEOs or managers that can harm a neo directly), you decide whether they can touch you or not. Words become harmful only once you react to them. You have your own eyes, ears and a head, you can tell that Doyoung achieves what he has through talent. So why "booo, it's because he is a favourite of SM!" should not be tranlsated into "yes, he is a favourite of SM and the public because he is a great, talented and hardworking person".

You probably want to be like me Until you're sick of it, bite me No matter how much you copy You're forever below my feet

As you understand the source of your irritation (the querts), you can simply avoid and not read them. Those comments are created as plees for attention by losers to begin with. If you refuse antis your attention and your replies to them, you win as you don't give them what they want.

Taeil is a nice person and Taeil has nice fans. The way to not start to dislike him because of his akgaes is to pay attention to DoIl, to Taeil solo (YT content) and to his good fans (TW accs that just post cute things with him). Same applies to other neos.

Yes, it is easier said than done. However, that what living is. You encounter problems and learn how to deal with them. Looking down on antis and disregarding them takes practice, however, in the end it will safe your neurons. A fandom can be enjoyable. Even toxic NCT fandom has people who do charity, moderate news and tranlsation accounts, organise streaming, voting, etc.

[jeonbots]

AJAR (1) | Jungkook (m)

pairing: jungkook - fem. reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff

warnings: demon!jungkook, nogitsune!jungkook, troubled!oc, minor character death, mentions of death, mention of a car accident, oc keeps nightmare-ing, jungkook is a fear demon, nogitsunes love chaos, mentions of sex, drinking, swearing, explicit sexual content such as oral (f receiving), fingering, breast playing, nipple sucking; dark rooms, blood, wounds, drugging, taehyung is a prick i'm sorry, poor oc just wants to sleep peacefully, jk won't let her, partying, overuse of the pet name ‘sugarplum’

words: 5k

a.n.: heyyyy! ik i was supposed to post that wizards of wavery place au but i havent finished it yet, i wasn't happy with it so i decided to change it up a bit. this story however has been in my drafts for about a year sooo here's the first part! it's gonna be a 2 part story :)))) enjoy

part two

/!\ UNEDITED /!\

—

You don’t remember the first time it happened. Or vaguely. Maybe five, six months ago? You’re not sure. But you do remember the darkness and the loneliness you felt at that moment. When you closed your eyes and you felt your body fall in an endless hole, skin itching uncomfortably. You had realized it itched because it was on fire, agony screeching out of your mouth and resonating in– in nothingness. And then you saw it. Its black, mundane eyes staring back at you like it was a hunter and you were its prey. You felt like suffocating until you had dug your nails into your palms hard to wake yourself up. Your body had jerked forward and you had screamed your lungs out until your throat burned, the tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. From this moment forward, you hadn’t sleep an entire night without waking up crying out loud in the middle of the night, your friend rushing to you. The first week, it was the same dream. The fall, your body on fire, the suffocating air, the piercing black eyes and your anxious and frightened awaking state.

The eighth night, you opened your eyes and found yourself on a cold floor, darkness surrounding you. You blinked a few times before adjusting to the poor lighting and suddenly your body shivered as you felt someone– or something– watching you intensely. You turned your head sideways trying to find the source of your discomfort but nothing was there. Until you heard it. A laughter. It was more of a snicker really, but it ran through your whole being, shaking your insides. The voice that had mocked you out loud had been so cold and dark, almost resembling a demon that you flinched. You tried to get on your feet but the cry that broke through you stopped you. You plopped back down on the floor, looking down at your body, taking in the deep cut and the blood pouring out of your right thigh.

“Help me! Please!” You cried, tears running down your face.

No response.

You lowered your head and sobbed. “I want to wake up.” You whispered, tears soaking your shirt.

Minutes, maybe hours passed. You weren’t sure. You just knew that you had stopped crying at some point. The wound on your leg didn’t seem to stop bleeding and you felt the life force being poured out of you everytime blood gushed out of your leg. You had laid back down on the cold marble, eyes closed and your arms and legs splayed out on the ground, resembling a starfish. The snicker from earlier returned and you abruptly opened your eyes, going in a sitting position and frenetically whipping your head around the area, searching for the source of your torments.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?”

The mocking grew closer and louder, and before you knew you were pulled back down on your back, breathe knocking out of you by the sheer force of the impact. You felt your arms move on their own accord, coming to lay against your sides as slender fingers grabbed your ankle and dragged you across the room, ignoring your pleas and cries for help.

“Let me in, sugarplum.”

It was softer than the snicker, but you still caught the dark timbre lying underneath.

“Who–”

Your body suddenly came to a halt and when you looked up, a large figure was towering over you. The jolt of surprise coming out of your mouth when the stranger bent down didn’t go unnoticed as you could make out rosy lips smirking right at you in the darkness. You shuddered as the stranger passed their fingers up your leg, ghosting over your wound before pressing down on it harshly with his palm. You cried out and tried to back off but your attempts were futile as two strong hands suddenly grabbed your hips, throwing you over a strong shoulder as they began to walk to some direction, you didn’t really know. You thrashed in the stranger’s hold, crying even more than before and before you knew, you were carelessly thrown on a mattress. Seconds later you heard footsteps and the click of a door, meaning you had been locked up in some room.

You sighed shakily as you glanced around the room. On your right, there was a small dusty bedside table with one drawer, a small lamp put on top of it and a box of matches right next to it. In the corner of the room, you could make out a maroon desk with some journals sprawled out on top of it and next to it a door closed, probably the one the stranger used to bring you here. However, on the opposite wall to your right there was another door. This one was slightly open. You frowned and forced yourself to get off the mattress, struggling to get on your feet. The second you were standing your legs gave away and you fell forward, landing on the nearest wall as your palms impacted your fall. The wall rubbed harshly against your skin as you let out a small cry, gasping at the pain running throughout your entire body.

How could a dream feel so real?

You brushed the thoughts off and started walking towards what you thought was your only way out of there, even if you knew deep down that it was not. You still were pretty much pressed against the wall, slowly making your way towards the strange door. When you finally reached it, you pressed a hand firmly against the wall as the other went to shakily grab the handle.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sugarplum.”

You froze.

No. Please.

You didn’t move. Not an inch. Not even to open the door completely or to turn around to meet your captor. But you sensed him shifting closer until his front was pressed against your back, an arm snaking around your waist to keep you close as you closed your eyes instinctively. His breathe fanned over your shoulder, lips brushing against your ear.

“Do you really want to face your biggest fears now?” He whispered.

“Please... let me go...” You whimpered.

“This is not the way out, sugarplum.”

He grabbed at your hips and spun you around and you yelped when you were met with familiar black eyes. Your own eyes grew wide and you took a few steps back until your back hit the wall softly. Even in all this darkness, the only thing you could make out about his appearance was complete dark and cold set of eyes.

“If you want out,” he followed your steps until he was hovering above your fragile and wounded form, “you just gotta let me in.” He ducked his head into the space between your neck and shoulder, nipping at your earlobe.

“Who are you?” You breathe out, staring at an invisible dot at the wall opposite to the one you’re pressed against.

He chuckled against your ear and a shiver ran down your spine. Yeah, that was straight up demonic.

He pulled his head out of your neck and leaned an arm on one side of your head against the wall and brought the other one around your jaw, lifting your head up to meet his intimidating gaze.

“Your worst nightmare, sugarplum.”

Then he laughed. It rang loud enough in your ear and you could hear the darkness in his mocking tone as he turned around and walked away from you. And suddenly, you were screaming. Screaming as you sat up in familiar warmth, hands fisting your sheets and tears running down your face. Realization dawn upon you as your cries had lowered in volume and you quickly pushed the covers aside, relief washing over you as your right thigh was not wounded. No blood, no horrible deep cut that made you want to puke. Your breathing was labored as you whimpered, the door of your room opening in a hurry.

“Fuck.” Your friend cursed out before making her way to you, sitting on the bed.

“I–I’m fine, I’m okay. It’s okay.” You avoided her gaze, hand coming to wipe off the tears on your red cheeks.

“No, you’re not Y/N. How long are you gonna keep this up? It’s been a whole fucking week and I don’t fucking know what’s happening to you. It scares the shit out of me.” Henri softly grabbed your head in her two hands, turning your head to meet her gaze as she rubbed your cheeks with her thumbs in a comforting way.

You breathed out shakily. “I think I’m going crazy.” You whispered, lower lip trembling as the tears threatened to spill out again.

“Let’s get you some help. Please.” She pleaded as she bore her eyes into yours. You nodded after a long minute and you saw the look of relief wash over your best friend’s face. She leaned forward as she pressed a kiss to your forehead then engulfing you in his arms. You rested your head on her shoulder as she rubbed your back.

-

“So, what happened before the incident?”

Three weeks later you were in seated in a beige sofa– a pretty comfy one, you had to admit– for your fourth therapy session with an older woman facing you on her baby pink armchair, her auburn hair styled up in a neat bun, a white dress-shirt tucked in a surprisingly colorful long skirt covering her legs as she had crossed one over the other. You learned after your first session that she liked fashion, noticing that her outfits were always on point and that she definitely should give you some advice. When you had woken up this morning, you had taken a quick shower and thrown on a grey sweater with matching grey sweatpants, not bothering to put make-up on. Why would you? You were about to talk about your deepest fears with a total stranger. You were glancing at the clock hung up on the wall nervously before she spoke up again at your silence.

“I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me, Y/N.” Her tone was soft and you felt your throat tighten.

You cleared your throat rather awkwardly. “Uh, I was out with some friends.” You nodded mostly to yourself but she hummed, telling you that she was all ears even though she was sometimes glancing down at her notepad to write something. “And, uh, there was this new club that opened on South Lake. We wanted to check it out and we were dressed accordingly so... we went. When we arrived there, the club was pretty full and we lost track of each other at some point... Uh, and I was pretty drunk. So I made out with a friend of mine and we uh, fucked. Yeah, pretty intense fuck if you ask me.” You laugh awkwardly as you saw the corner of her mouth twitch upwards. She was comforting, somehow.

“So yeah, I fucked the guy then I called my br-”

The words died in your throat as you froze. Clarisse felt you tense under her stare but nothing changed on her face.

“You were going to talk about your older brother, Jason?”

You lowered your head and started fidgeting with your fingers placed in your lap, gulping as you felt your eyes water. You hadn’t realized in your storytelling that you were going to have to bring up that subject at some point. You nodded shakily, a few tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I should’ve never done that.” You whispered and the last words came out in a broken whimper. The woman opened her mouth, about to talk but was cut off by your sudden voicing.

“Is it over yet?” Clarisse jumped slightly at the way you had abruptly raised your head, looking at the awful clock as you brought your hands to your face to wipe off the tears with the sleeves of your sweater.

“Y/N–”

“Oh,” you fake-heartedly laughed, cheeks still stained with wetness, “would you look at that! It’s been an hour already.”

“Wait–”

“Goodbye, Ms. Blackwood.”

You had already grabbed your bag and bolted out of the door as Clarisse sat on her chair, dumbfounded.

-

You never went back to therapy. A small part of you felt bad for leaving the kind woman in her confusion but the other part– the larger one– was relieved you didn’t have to go through painful memories anymore.

College isn’t as hard as you’ve imagined. Ever since your brother’s death you had found the world of books and words fascinating. At first, your roommate would ogle at you like you were some kind of wild animal who had escaped from the zoo then she understood the change in behavior. You were quite the party girl before the car crash; always going out with friends, having fun in summer homes or going to frat parties. And now you’ve become what people call a ‘bookworm’. Of course, it doesn’t take your mind off the horrendous and painful nightmares you’re having every night, but it helps get yourself distracted from the intense ache in your chest. At first you had tried booze to keep your mind off the terrible monsters haunting you but all it did was giving you painful aftermath headaches and a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach. The last time you got really drunk, you threw up your entire stomach in some random front lawn and you collapsed on the grass, dazing off to a sleeping state. And your eyes closed slowly until you woke up in a familiar dark room, pleading and begging to be released.

You swore you’d never drink again.

“Y/N!” A warm breathe tickles the side of your face and you turn your head sideway to face the person who’s arm is draped around your shoulders, the other coming to settle around your waist, clinging to you loosely.

“You’re drunk,” you state, looking at your friend’s giggling form.

“And you’re not,” she pouts as she leans a bit more on your frame. “Come on, get drunk with us Y/N.” Her words are slurred.

“Henri,” you sigh. Your nightmares aren’t unknown to your friend, in fact, when it first happened, she was the first person you called, your sobbing making her heart ache through the receiver. She had decided to join you that night, knocking at your door fifteen minutes later, hands full of junk food and candy. You had spent majority of the night laughing and eating your fears away, Henri wanting to make you feel better. After that night, she’d decided to move in with you.

You look down your half-empty cup, the brown-ish liquid taunting you. You can practically see its mocking smile, waves of gold beaming through the dark beverage. “You know I won’t.” Before she can protest though, her warmth disappears and you hear her gasp and you see from the corner of your eyes the boy you recognize as her boyfriend Justin pressing his lips against hers, silently rolling your eyes.

The living room is packed with people grinding against each other, kissing in corners or going up the stairs, probably to fuck their sexual frustration away. Justin’s frat house always throws the most anticipated parties in the campus, and of course Henri wouldn’t miss it for the world. They’re like– the must-go parties, house full of free booze and weed in every corner, half of the campus always attends them. You hadn’t gone to a party in forever though, still traumatized by the last time you were blackout drunk but Henri had insisted the whole week and you said yes just a few hours ago. You didn’t feel like dressing up but she almost screamed at you to at least make an effort and you settled on a high-waisted black denim skirt that stops mid-thigh and a black tube top tucked underneath with some white sneakers after a long hour of Henri rummaging through your closet.

“Y/N!”

Turning your head to the familiar voice, you smile as the dark-haired man you’ve grown to appreciate the company of walks towards you with his own beaming smile.

“Oh, I’ve missed you!” He engulfs you in his arms as you giggle before awkwardly patting his back with your free hand.

“I’ve missed you too, Taehyung.”

Justin was the one to introduce you to Taehyung at his birthday party three years ago. He had been Justin’s drug dealer for quite a few years and he had been hooking you up ever since. Deciding to stop doing drugs ultimately made you stop calling Taehyung for weed and cocaine, and you two lost touch as the months went by.

“It’s been– what, about a year?” He says as he steps back, rubbing the back of his neck. You briefly glance at his appearance, loose black dress shirt and the tight fitting jeans hanging on his hips. The shirt’s collar is large enough to have his collarbone peeking out of the fabric, your thighs clenching under your skirt. You skillfully hide your evident arousal as you learned to do over the years and look back up only to find yourself squirming when you notice his lingering gaze on your breasts covered by the thin fabric of the tube top. He slowly licks his lips and you bite back a whine, your slick arousal already starting to seep through your panties and onto your inner thighs.

“Ten months,” you correct with an apologetic smile on your lips.

“Yeah,” he looks back into your eyes at your words and nods before looking around the place, not an ounce of shame taking over his features for being caught staring. “Uh, I haven’t had the chance to, uh, say it but I’m sorry for your loss.”

You gulp as you look down at your drink. “Thanks–”

“W-well not the chance but you know what I mean.”

You giggle as you shake your head. “It’s okay. Thank you, Tae. It really means a lot.”

Memories flood through your mind as you recall the times you would get high with Henri, Justin, Taehyung and a few other friends before the accident, all spread out on the couch and the carpet of some random house as you’d talk and laugh about basically anything. You’d say those were the happiest moments of your life and you’d do anything to turn back time and have this short yet vivid moment of happiness running through your veins just one more time, dopamine spreading through your whole being. And those nights you had spent in Taehyung’s bed, his cock pounding your walls as he sucked bruises onto your skin, the delicious drag of his length sending you over the edge.

As if answering your– unwanted –prayers, Taehyung slowly approaches you with a sly smirk, a hand propped on the counter beside your hip as he leans over your figure. You look up at him quizzically.

“I thought maybe,” he licks his lips as he glances down at your lips and back at your eyes, “you’d want to have some fun.”

You raise an eyebrow as his free hand digs into his jeans’ pocket, a small plastic bag dangling from his fingers as he lifts his hand at eyes level. You’d recognize those blue pills anywhere.

“No.”

“C’mon, Y/N. Just one, like old times.”

The hand that was on the counter comes hovering your neck, his slender fingers softly caressing the skin there. You shudder as his palm grabs your nape more firmly, his thumb rubbing the side of your neck.

“Taehyu–”

His sudden lips on your ear clamps your mouth shut and your eyes flutter, the lids closing as he starts to suck on the lobe. The grip on your half-empty cup weakens and you hastily put it down on the counter behind you, a few droplets of alcohol spilling on the marble. He presses his chest against yours as he starts kissing down your neck, licking and sucking until he reaches your collarbone where he vacuums the skin in his pink-tinted lips, a whimper making its way past your own. His arms snake around your waist and press you even harder against him as you grab his biceps for leverage, his hard-on poking at your thigh as you gradually let your head fall back.

You don’t notice the small blue pill he manages to sneakily drop into your beverage, its shape dissolving in the drink to slowly disappear into the abyss of its intoxication.

-

“Holy fuck.”

Your back arched against the mattress and your eyes closed in unadulterated bliss as Taehyung laps at your clit, you moan shamelessly as your hips jerk at each flick of his tongue against your cunt. He hungrily devours your sex and your buzzed state doesn’t protest even after your third orgasm. You still haven’t touched his cock.

“Ho– fuck– Tae, stop, I can’t– ngh– too much.”

He reluctantly leans away from your pussy, mouth and chin covered in your juices as he hovers your fucked out state, his smirk growing wider as he wipes your arousal off his face with the back of his hand.

“I still gotta fuck you full of my cum, baby.”

You release a shaky breath as you bite your lower lip, one hand seductively traveling down the expense of his chest through his shirt as your lust-painted eyes drink in his features. As you reach down his jeans, you subtly grab his crotch as you palm his hardened length, his breathing growing heavier.

“You’re still that needy?” He chuckles and you nod, boring your eyes into his as you lean forward to pepper kisses on his jaw.

You whine when his deft fingers rub your slit, coating his digits with your cum. “Fuck me, please. It’s been so long.”

“I know baby, I know.” He suddenly shoves two fingers in your sloppy hole, a moan slipping past your lips. “Gotta stretch you first for my cock.”

The sudden yet pleasurable stretch has your eyes rolling back in your skull, his skillful fingers pumping in and out of your heat at a delirious pace as your hands fist the sheets beneath you. His thumb comes rubbing at your clit and your hips jerk in his palm, loud moans escaping your parted lips. The stretch of a third finger in your walls has your orgasm spiraling at full speed, untamed pleasure hitting you for the fourth time tonight, your lips parting in a silent scream as you plop your head back down on the sheets.

“Fuck,” the man curses under his breath as he lazily fucks you through your climax, his own hard-on becoming way too painful. You slowly catch your breath as his fingers slip out of your heat and he presses his hips into yours, your thighs caging his waist.

You smile up at him through closed eyes, your high slowly descending and when your heartbeat regains its original pace, you open your eyes.

And your smile falters.

Familiar cold dark orbs are staring right back at you instead of the warm brown of Taehyung’s pupils, and you try to squirm away but find it impossible as the same invisible force pins you down.

“I– you–”

He chuckles.

“Sugarplum, long time no see.” His hand strokes your hair and you whimper, your legs still locked around the man’s waist.

“Please,” you whisper weakly, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“I don’t want to hurt you, sugarplum.”

In this new lighting and his proximity, you can see the man’s face clearer than any of the previous encounters. As he leans forward to nose at your cheek, you can finally see his features and your lips part in shock.

His eyes are beautiful. A dazing shape, his dark orbs morphing into soft doe eyes, the tip of his nose almost kissable and his lips– God, his lips look delicious. Soft, plump lips so inviting, and you can’t help the hand hovering his face, your fingers gently caressing his plumpness. His dark hair falls messily around his head and you have the sudden urge to comb your fingers through his locks just to feel the silk-like strands through your digits.

He is demonically magnificent.

His free hand reaches to envelop your curious one, his eyes boring into yours. You shudder under his gaze and instead of cowering, you bring your other hand to push a strand away from his forehead.

“See? I’m no monster.” He smiles sweetly– almost too sweetly– and you gulp.

“What do you want from me?”

“I’ve told you countless times, sugarplum.”

His hand slides to your wrist in a harsh grip and you gasp as the other hand curls around your neck, squeezing your throat as he cuts off your air supply.

“Let me in.”

You whimper as the grip on your throat is unbearable, making you writhe under his hold. His hips ruth into yours and your naked cunt rubs against the material of his pants harshly, the outline of his obviously hard cock digging into your slit. As you feel yourself slowly falling into unconsciousness, he releases your throat and ascends down to your collarbone, reaching your tube top and pulling it down, a moan vibrating through his chest at the sight of your bare breasts. Each of his hand cups your mounds, his thumbs and forefingers pinching each pebbled nipple as you whine, your teeth caging your lower lip in a futile attempt to keep quiet. He notices that and releases a breast to harshly slap your thigh around his waist. You jolt in surprise and look at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t hold back. You sounded so sweet earlier.”

He doesn’t let you respond as he dives his head in, taking a nipple into his mouth to suck on the mound as he squeezes the other with his hand, pinching the nub in between his fingers. The moan that escapes your lips is unraveling, your hips automatically grinding against his in hope to find purchase. When he’s done with one breast, he does the same to the other one before pulling away, a hand stroking your hair affectionately as he stares at you.

“So beautiful.”

The blush on your cheeks isn’t going unnoticed and he smirks, his gaze lingering on your breasts heaving due to your ragged breathing. He then looks back up at your face before leaning forward and gently pecking your lips in a close-mouthed kiss, once, twice, then he starts trailing down your jaw to your neck, sucking bruises for everyone to see. You whine as you thread your fingers in his hair, and before you register it he has plunged two fingers in your heat, your stomach clenching to oversensitivity.

You moan as you buck your hips in his hand, surprised to even have enough energy to respond to the demon’s ministrations. His fingers are thick enough to hit all the right places and when his thumb strokes your engorged clit, your fifth orgasm of the night couldn’t have come sooner, a drawn-out moan escaping your swollen lips. As your walls squeeze his fingers deeply in your pussy, he groans above you before planting kisses down your throat. Leaning away from your neck as he pulls his fingers out, your arousal drips down his digits and you see strings of your slick juices connecting them when he parts them. Embarrassment manifesting in the red of your cheeks, you stare at the man happily lapping at his arousal-coated fingers, his pink lips wrapped around the skin.

“H–how did I get here?” You quietly ask as soon as your breathing came to normal. His furrowed eyebrows encourage the next words flowing past your lips, his digits falling free from the grip of his lips.

“I– I wasn’t asleep nor drunk and–”

The entire evening you made sure that you weren’t drinking too much, even had Justin’s special party booze out of tonight’s menu. Surely, you would remember if you had fallen asleep. Wait, had you passed out while Taehyung was fucking you? No way, you weren’t drunk. You hadn’t taken any substance or drugs or pills-

Pills. Blue, soft, dangerous pills.

Realization hits you in the guts and you suddenly find it hard to breathe. The way he had kissed your neck, your momentarily forgotten cup on the counter, his wandering hands–

“He,” you whisper, breath hitching as you choke out a whimper, “he drugged me?”

Gently, he places a kiss on your cheek. “Sugarplum.”

“He– he drugged me, and that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” The aching in your chest is too much for your heavy state and you start blinking away tears you didn’t know had started to pool at the corner of your eyes.

He sighs above you, his breath fanning over your face. Plopping down on the space next to you on the bed as he frees himself from the grip your thighs had around him, his hand gently strokes your naked waist until he reaches your breast, softly rubbing the skin as his thumb lightly flicks over your nipple. In an attempt to soothe your pain, you assume.

Trust is overrated, you conclude.

Here you are; crying over a man you’d learn to like over the past few years as the man you’ve been running from comforts your burning heart.

“It is,” he affirms and you don’t even question how he managed to answer your unspoken thoughts. The sob that breaks past your lips is heart wrenching and you bring your hands to your face, covering the entirety of it as the tears flow freely down your face.

He turns to you and envelops your shaken form in his embrace, your chest pressed against his as he runs a soothing hand down the expanse your bare back. And that’s how you fall asleep that night, without the nightmare that usually haunts your sleepless mind and instead, you find solace in the very man you’d grown to despise.

-----

[autisticstarseed]

👐 Hand washing guide when you have sensory issues 👐

tbh. we shouldve been talking abt this a long time ago for many disabled ppls sake but ive put this post off for like a million years out of pure solidified fear of ableist harassment/kneejerk ignorance and also generalized cringe idiots but now that we got so much covid-19 fear and autistic ppl actually tend to have weaker immune systems than most people lets jump the shark;;;

i have autism and i physically struggle with washing my hands as often as i want to, having wet hands, drying them, the temperature difference, bad soap smells/textures, etc. are all genuinely painful. the good news is that ive dealt with water aversion shit since birth (its a common sensory issue), so ive had time to figure out alternatives and coping skills that still help reduce risk of disease and spreading it in ways that i can personally manage. (ie. not lazy or selfish or gross. genuinely putting more effort into this every day task than most other people would even think about. just disability lads) so heres the guide i have to offer if you’re in a similar boat, with some keypoints about hand hygiene and tips addressing the most common sensory struggles ive noticed with it;;;

1. hand sanitizer

i love hand sanitizer, i can get it in almost any scent i want and it dries down very very fast. the problem is; hand washing and hand sanitizer do different things. it only kills certain types of germs. which is all fine and dandy, but because of this, using only hand sanitizer wont actually keep you from catching or spreading many illnesses. so what its good for is times you cant wash your hands (out in public, sensory overload, no spoons, etc), thats fine, but it should not replace all hand washing if at all possible. it is supposedly effective to covid-19, but so little is currently known that it should not be considered your go to for this, and the only unanimous statement straight from the CDC is that hand washing works best at preventing its spread.

temperature - if you have trouble with it being too cold, conveniently keeping it in your pocket or closely against your body in some way warms it up and makes it much more comfortable. 

scent - they come in almost any scent you can imagine, but if you have trouble with strong scents, there are ‘scentless hand sanitizers’. they usually have a faint chemical smell, so if there are any testers available, you should check to make sure it can work for you before you buy it.

texture - if gel doesnt cut it, they also make foamy hand sanitizers and liquid sprays, but theyre harder to find and might be a little more pricey.

and remember; always buy hand sanitizer that says it contains AT LEAST 60% alcohol, the higher alcohol content the better, but try to keep track of how high it is and how much you apply it so you dont dry your skin out. and right now price gouging is pretty bad, so dont be surprised if you cant find any for a while, and dont buy any small bottle that costs over a couple dollars, its a rip off.

2. hand washing 

so what does hand washing do thats better than sanitizer??? soap and water lift up the dirt and oils that are carrying the germs and actually wash them off, and not only that, it also gets rid of all the things sanitizer cant, such as dust/dirt, spores, chemicals, and the previously mentioned viruses that are harder to kill. ik to an outside perspective it might not seem that hard, but obviously when you have autism and these tasks are split down into bigger ordeals and sensory nightmares, it can feel impossible. 

soap - there are so many different kinds of soap! scentless soaps exist, and they very rarely have any lingering chemical smell! theres also soap for sensitive skin, and baby soap also works well for that issue. bar soaps can come in all different shapes and sizes, with many different ingredients and additives to choose from (independent soap makers are an amazing source for customized soap btw), and liquid soaps can be pure gel, frothy, mousse-y or even have tiny exfoliating or moisturizing beads in them if thats a sensory experience you enjoy. this is my number one rec for people struggling with hand washing bc of sensory issues;;; mix up the soap. finding one that gives you an okay or even a GOOD sensory experience can completely turn around an otherwise meltdown inducing task

temperature - this is the one thats always been hardest for me. cold water straight up hurts me, and our plumbing is Terrible, so the trick i have for slow pipes is to run the hot water on high as Soon as i get into the bathroom. leave it going and by the time you’re done there should be at least lukewarm water. if this still takes too long for you, try out the various sinks in your house, usually one is able to get hot water faster than the rest (for me its the kitchen sink) and that can become a designated station for you if need be.

texture - some ppl just hate water. if thats the case, it rly doesnt change much abt the process if you use less water, ie work the soap into a lather, and then only use as much as you need to rinse it off. you dont have to keep your hands under the whole time, the soap clings to the dirt, the water takes it off all together, as long as you scrub well and rinse till you see no suds, you’re good 

If it really comes down to it, a washcloth with water+soap, a disinfecting wipe, or even literally just a rinse with plain ol water is better than nothing, but the stream of water and act of rubbing the soap in is the most effective combo against disease. soap/disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizers are your second best option. if theres a time in your life where an issue is so disabling for you that you truly cant keep any of this up, rly the most important thing is to limit your direct physical contact with your face and commonly used objects as MUCH as possible until you can figure smth out. (you kno those old ladies that grab a wipe and open the doorknob with it between their hand and the knob? become that old lady) and if push comes to shove, if a safe and accepting therapy setting is something accessible to you, hygiene struggles are actually something many mental health professionals understand Very well and can help you cope with personally and directly, without shame.

3. hand drying

this is also. my personal hell. and what most people say is the hardest part of the sensory experience. but ya cant just walk around with wet hands right

towels - the obvious choice for most, but to me they actually dont dry enough. i always end up damp and with lint stuck to me. this kills the man. but hand towels do have some variety to them, you can find em with really long fibers or really short/flat, really fuzzy or really stiff, etc. sounds silly but its smth a lot of ppl dont think about that can change a lot. you can also try super absorbent towels (yes like a shamwow), and again baby bath towels are also an option if you want something gentle.

paper towels - yeah a little more wasteful and expensive, but imo much more absorbent. theyre also pretty thin so you can get between your fingers (MY BANE), and under your nails if you use a corner. 10/10

blow drying - ik this is the kind of shit you only see in like movie theaters and malls and they are definitely LOUD AS SHIT, but if you happen to have the money, and struggle more with Textures than Noise, ie a stream of warm air seems worth the sound, you Can actually find a small basic one of these items for your own home. 

4. public restrooms

everybody hates em!!! but you can make em more tolerable;;;

soap - bring your own! little travel soaps you can keep in your bag are a godsend for ppl with sensory issues, sensitive skin/allergies, and if you just prefer not sharing soap.

temperature - most public places i notice actually do get hot water pretty fast (like,,, too fast,,, like,,, it bur ns me) so if there are no faucets and its too hot or too cold, once again you can try different sinks and one might be more comfortable. if there are faucets i recommend grabbing a paper towel to turn it off, so you dont have to touch it again with your clean hands.

sound - WHY R AUTOMTIC FLUSH TOILETS SO FUCKEN LOUDD..... honestly if you have noise cancelling earmuffs or earplugs or w/e pop em in. if you dont have any of that i just literally plug my ears with my fingers when i stand up. if you struggle with the sound of the blow dryers, they almost always have paper towels as well, but its a great idea to carry something like that around in your bag with you just in case. if its really packed and people chattering is getting to you, sometimes the ‘family’ bathrooms are actually smaller and less full. if its bad enough and you feel comfortable asking, an employee might be able to direct you to a single stall bathroom or at least a different one than that.

and though its convenient, try not to use your sleeve to touch things like doorknobs, toilet handles, etc. instead use something disposable like a paper towel or wipe, bc the germs will simply transfer to your sleeve and still risk infecting you. 

5. schedule

the number one suggestion is to wash your hands literally as often as possible during a time like this but like. even for allistic/nt/abled/ ppl thats just not always an attainable schedule so the Best times to wash your hands are;;;

after using the bathroom - the most important time and generally the easiest to get used to. its smth you have to do multiple times a day that already has a schedule, and if you were to forget or go into sensory overload its usually immediately accessible as soon as you can. as i mentioned earlier, if you need help remembering, you can turn the water on when you first get in and leave it going.

the doctors - ANY KIND of health facility should be avoided right now unless really necessary, places where sick people would frequent is the quickest way to get sick but like. ya rly cant help it sometimes right. you cant stop dealing with your own illnesses just bc theres another one floating around. so, this is time to go apeshit on the handwashing. if your health issue involves coughing and sneezing, ask for a face mask. bring a scarf in case they dont have any, its not as great but better than nothing. otherwise, you honestly dont need it, face masks are more for these people bc they keep germs in better than out. whether you’re worried abt getting sick or infecting others, this is a time to use hand sanitizer, avoid physical contact like shaking hands [autistic cheering], and when you first arrive and right before you go to leave are the most important times to remember to wash your hands. 

preparing food - not as commonly spoken about, but also easy to work into a schedule. i personally dont care unless its food for somebody else or if im going to be putting my hands on it a lot, but if thats the case, a lot of the time thats produce you already want to wash in the sink, so you can kill two birds with one stone there. dont just get the germs off your own hands, get em off the fruits and veggies before you eat em. carpool

after grocery shopping - not very common. most ppl just slap some sanitizer/a wipe on there or dont think abt it at all, but if you just got home from walmart thats a great time to wash. you just touched a bunch of items other people touched, including the cart, money/credit cards, and all the products people will pick up and put back, so its prime germ time babey. But again, sanitizer or a wipe will help if its all you can manage after a trip out like that.

before self care - also uncommon. ppl always say ‘dont touch your face’ and ‘apply this product with clean hands’, and what they mean is that one of the fastest ways germs get into your system is through your mouth, nose, eyes and ears. if you’re simply washing your face theres not as much concern, but applying a mask, moisturizer, makeup, etc. should all be done after a gentle rinse of your hands (and face). very hard to get into the schedule of, but if you consider it a Part of your ‘self care’ or use a special fun cleanser, it can stick a little easier.

6. stim items

STIM ITEMS!! if you have stim items, its a good idea to clean them regularly, but even moreso during an outbreak like this.

rubber/plastic - if it goes in your mouth, hot water (not hot enough to melt!) and dish soap, if it doesnt, look up how to safely make a diluted bleach solution.

silicone - silicone is usually dish washer safe.

fabric - if its light, add bleach to the washing machine, if its colored, you can use white vinegar or hydrogen peroxide which are less likely to discolor any dyes. lysol detergent is also super great. small items you’re worried about losing, or items with details/loose parts, you can usually wash inside of a sealed pillow case. 

‘squishies’ - for ‘mochi’ squishies aka the rubbery ones, soap and water + some dusted baby powder or corn starch (optional) to keep it from grabbing lint for a while. for foam squishies, they can rarely be deep cleaned without the risk of growing mold or taking paint off, but a disinfecting wipe every now and then should keep it clean for a while.

slime - cant be disinfected, sorry. also a breeding ground for mold if you arent careful, so its always best to cycle through these quickly.

technology - cant really be completely sterilized, but there are many places to get sprays and cleaning wipes for the devices you use that can at least keep the areas your hands frequently touch a little cleaner.

BUT of course if your item comes with instructions on how to wash it, always follow that instead. this is just a general idea.

and as a final note;;; disabled ppl should not feel guilty or dirty for struggling with this. like. man idc abt ur cringe feels or your ignorant blame or your lack of understanding/sympathy for what goes into these tasks for us. if u dont wanna get our struggles and sensitivities when we’re working twice as hard on functioning tasks which personal ease you take for granted, thats on you. @ disabled people if you struggle with maintaining the same standard of hygiene as nts you arent gross or bad fucking person, you’re disabled and by definition that means your level of functioning will be different, and you deserve sympathy. its just that germs dont discriminate, they wanna cause problems for everybody involved (especially you!!!), so Anything you can manage is Great and if anything from this post can help make it a little easier for people in any way, i feel its absolutely necessary to talk about with respect and dignity. people with autism/adhd/sensory processing disorder/similar neurodivergencies/literally anybody else this could benefit, pls feel free to add on any tips you might have or send me questions. let disabled ppl help disabled ppl do our personal bests

[norbah]

Holiday Music

This is my gift for the @summonersecretsanta exchange. It is for @the-lonely-ylissean. I sincerely hope you like it!

Music washed over the keep that served as the Order of Heroes’s base, and Silas watched with a smile as the various Heroes from distant ages mingled in the great hall. They laughed, ate, and danced, the holiday spirit having mixed thoroughly with the exultant sensation of victory. The threat of Hel was gone, and the relief was palpable in the air, a veritably intoxicating atmosphere filling the hall. Here Ike was pulled into a dance by his sister Mist, there Ninian and Eliwood shared a quiet bite, and farther back over there Azura convinced Arden to join her in the dance floor.

Silas himself chuckled and laughed with everyone, but hung back from the core of the festivities. His eyes darted about, skipping over the various groups enjoying the festivities as he searched for one person in particular. Here and there he thought he’d spotted her, but the auburn hair always belonged to another. The tiniest of frowns landed on his brow and his smile slipped just a bit from his lips as he found himself unable to find her. Which was the darnedest thing. He could have sworn he’d seen her come in here earlier...

Suddenly the room felt a little hot for Silas’s comfort, and he realized a little bit of fresh air sounded good right about now. So, making sure to apologize to anybody he bumped into, he made his way outside, avoiding the more bustling central area. Along the way he kept his eyes peeled for the one he was looking for, but still had no success in finding her.

After what seemed like hours, Silas finally made it outside. Almost instantly he felt some relief, just from the sight of the chilly winter landscape. He took a deep breath, enjoying the sensation of the cold, crisp night air entering his lungs. He had seen plenty of snow back on Nohr, but it was a harsh land, with harsh winters. Askr was gentle by comparison, its snow soft and fluffy rather than the cutting sleet of the Ice Tribe’s plains.

Without much idea of where he was going, Silas started walking, mulling over his thoughts, and wondering where Sofia, the Summoner, had gone off to. It was rather funny, but as of late, he’d been spending more time with Sofia than even with Corrin. It was still nice being with his long lost friend here, but the Summoner... Silas felt happy around her. Content. Safe, even. She carried a large burden on her shoulders, as she was the Summoner in charge of keeping the Heroes alive, but still made the time for them... for him. She was honestly, truly-

Silas was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound, ever so faint, of music. He blinked and cocked his head, listening carefully. It was almost drowned out by the loud cacophony coming from the great hall, but it was definitely there. He’d wandered far enough from the celebration that its noise was somewhat lessened.

Muffled, lovely notes drifting among the falling snowflakes kept landing on Silas’s ears. He couldn’t quite make out the tune, but Silas could more or less hear where it came from. Curious despite himself, he followed the music with nary a glance back towards the great hall.

“A piano?” He murmured to himself, finally recognizing the instrument being played. Idly he wondered who it was playing at this late hour. And away from the party, to boot.

——————

The music led Silas to another one of the keep’s wings. It took but a glance upward to pinpoint the room from which the music came, as there was a single window with light coming from within.

He entered the building quietly, shaking off some of the snow that had piled upon his hair and shoulders, as well as caked itself to his boots. A few gentle stamps outside the entrance got most of it off.

Within, the music was even clearer. The tune was much clearer now, a deep, slow, almost somber melody which nonetheless held joy and reverence in its tone. His curiosity almost at a bursting point, Silas headed upstairs. In retrospect, he mused as he got close to the music’s source, he did recall having seen a piano near the keep’s study, in the sitting room. He’d just never paid mind to it.

His heart hammering in his chest, Silas gently pushed open the door, and looked inside the room.

Sitting at the piano was none other than Sofia, the auburn-haired young woman’s eyes focused intensely on the keys before her, her fingers moving deftly, with precision, with determined intent. And yet she smiled softly as she played. Silas realized that this, right here, was something she loved dearly, and couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding on something deeply personal.

And then the door gave the slightest of creaks, Sofia’s eyes flickered upwards and met his, and her fingers stumbled for a second over the keys. The music stopped, and both Silas and Sofia froze.

—————

For a moment, neither spoke, but eventually Sofia cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Silas!” She greeted Silas nervously, her tension bleeding through into her words. Her eyes seemed to focus anywhere but on his own. Of all the times he could have found her, why now? “I, ah, didn’t realize anybody would be listening...”

“I’m very sorry,” Silas said, and bowed a little in contrition. “I simply heard the music and wondered who could be playing at this hour. It was lovely music,” he added at the end, a little more brightly.

“It’s a song from my world, for the holidays,” Sofia explained, still a bit shy. The compliment about her playing did help her feel at ease, but it was still more than a bit awkward to be discovered like this. “I thought you’d be at the party. This is a bit embarrassing.”

“I was,” he replied. “I... well, I couldn’t find you there, so I stepped out for a bit of air, and heard your playing.” He seemed somewhat surprised when his explanation brought a generous dusting of scarlet to Sofia’s cheeks.

“You were looking for me?” She asked him, very quietly. Hearing that... it did very funny things to her stomach. It was actually really nice to hear. A very tiny smile was born on her lips at this admission.

“Well, yes. I was sure I’d seen you go in, but when I tried to find you, you weren’t there.”

“I left after a little bit,” she explained. “Wanted a little bit of air, so I came here. I guess time got away from me a little bit,” she murmured the last bit, still a little red in the face. She should have seen it coming, really. Whenever she played, time just... seemed to slip away.

“I didn’t know you played,” Silas said, standing a bit more at ease as he saw her relax a little. Sofia shrugged bashfully.

“It’s just a hobby,” she said, the lie tasting foul on her tongue. Music was her passion, and to deny it so, even if to someone as special to her as Silas was, felt wrong

“Oh,” Silas said. He seemed a bit disconcerted. “Well, you play very well, for what it’s worth. I’ve heard serious students with less talent than you showed just now.”

The praise made Sofia’s breath catch in her throat. Some of the Heroes were aware of her crush on the earnest young knight, but for the most part she wasn't obvious about it. That she didn’t voice it didn’t mean she didn’t feel it, though, and she felt quite strongly about her knight. So to hear him praise her like this... she felt certain that he could hear her heartbeat, it was thumping so loudly and powerfully in her chest.

“Would you...” she started a bit weakly, then cleared her throat, sat up straighter, and spoke again with more conviction. “Would you like to listen for a little while?”

Silas blinked in surprise, and for a moment Sofia’s heart sank. Of course he’d want to get back to the party, she thought. But then a bright smile lit his face up.

“I’d love to,” he said, warm and gentle like the spring sun. With a matching smile, Sofia scooted over just a bit on the piano bench, giving him space to sit.

After he took a seat, Sofia began to play once more from the top, her fingers moving with practiced ease over the keys.

“This is a holiday song from my world,” she explained, and told him the song’s name as she played. Silas nodded as the melody, reverent and deep, rang out once more.

“I learned it some time ago, and the holiday isn’t quite the same here, but I felt it... fitting to play it now,” she went on after a moment, a smile on her face.

Silas shot her a look.

“Just a hobby, eh?” He asked playfully, and Sofia couldn’t help but giggle as he nudged her shoulder with his own.

“Okay, so maybe I lied a little bit,” she admitted with a roll of her eyes. Silas chuckled, but said nothing more, content simply to listen to her playing, and so they lapsed into a comfortable silence.

Some distance away, the party still went on. Dance and revelry, and food and drink galore. But here, in this little corner of Askr that was theirs and theirs alone, Sofia shared with Silas her true passion for music. She shared with him the music of her world, something even Azura wasn’t privy to. She shared it with him, with her knight, and he was smart enough to realize the gift he was being given.

“As far as I am concerned,” he thought to himself, watching Sofia’s face as she played, a smile matching hers on his face, “there is nothing more the Winter’s Envoy can bring me.”

[loadscript696]

Nordvpn Mac Not Connecting

I just downloaded the Nord VPN app from the App store (designed to set up an IKEv2 connection), but when I open it and try to connect, the following dialog box keeps popping up and it keeps coming back no matter what I enter into it:

Apr 21, 2020 Fixes for NordVPN Not Connecting Connect to Another Server You can try connecting NordVPN to a few different servers. If it cannot connect to any, use this app on a different device like your phone. With NordVPN smart DNS, you can easily connect Apple TV to websites and servers using the server in a different location. On top of that, using a NordVPN DNS proxy for Apple TV will not cause you to have connectivity issues and low speeds.

If you're using the OpenVPN or NordVPN platform for accessing the Internet securely, you may have noticed that the Office 365 product (Outlook, Word, Excel, One Note, etc.) have reported that they do not have an internet connection ('NO INTERNET CONNECTION'). Launch NordVPN and connect to any server of your choice, preferably one that can unblock the streaming content you want to access on your Apple TV. Then, connect your Apple TV to this virtual hotspot network and to share NordVPN’s connection with the Apple TV. Set up NordVPN on Apple.

As a result, the IKEv2 NordVPN app from the App store will not connect. I managed to download and begin using the OpenVPN version of the Nord app, but I would like to know what the problem is with the IKEv2 version of the app. I'm running El Capitan on a 2015 Macbook Pro. Anyone else had this sort of problem?

MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch,Early 2015)

Posted on

Need a VPN or DNS for your device? Then, subscribe to

Fixing NordVPN connection issue might arise as a result of different reasons. We all know that NordVPN is one of the leading VPNs in the industry. So the tendency of having issues with connecting to the server is common and sometimes high. Though, if you have been battling with how to fix NordVPN connection problems, you landed yourself on the right place to get the right info.

NordVPN is a highly rated VPN provider for Windows, macOS, Linux, Android, and iOS platforms. Connecting to that VPN server is usually straightforward enough, but some NordVPN users might still need to fix connectivity issues.

NordVPN not connecting can be due to conflicting software, corrupted adapters, misconfigured network configurations and more besides.

How to Fix NordVPN Connection Problems

Depending on your devices, here is the list of steps you need to take if you are having difficulties in connecting to the server.

iOS Fix

The process is simplicity itself, you don’t need any specialist here. Is what you can do in a few minutes on your own. Here are the steps:

Step 1 > Delete the NordVPN app, in the actual sense you are to uninstall the app from your device.

Step 2 > Restart the device

Step 3 > Reinstall the app, please download from NordVPN offical website.

Step 4 > Enjoy

You see, these steps are simple and easy to follow, on the iOS devices you had fix NordVPN connection problems.

DON’T MISS IT: NordVPN has a great 66% discount on the 2-year plan, costing you just $3.99/month. It also backs all of its plans with a 30-day money back guarantee.

Fix NordVPN Connection Problems on MacOS

If you have any issues connecting to the internet with NordVPN on any Mac OS device, then try the following:

> You need to install the OpenVPN app version directly from the official website

> Do uninstall the IKE version before installing the new one

> Try using the obfuscated servers or the TCP protocol

Most times, the Canadian servers will work better than all the others. As for this, you need to team up with NordVPN support team to take up from you.

Fix NordVPN Connecting Issues on Linux Fix

In order to avoid any sort of issues when running NordVPN from a Linux device, just follow the next steps:

Step 1 > First of all, open the terminal by pressing (Ctrl+Alt+T)

F1a8. Step 2 > Install the OpenVPN client by entering “sudo apt-get install openvpn”. If you are asked for a password, insert the one you used when setting up your account

Nordvpn Mac Not Connecting Wifi

Step 3 > Go to the OpenVPN directory with this command “cd/etc/openvpn”

Step 4 > Now download the OpenVPN configuration files with the command “sudo wget https://downloads.nordcdn.com/configs/archives/servers/ovpn.zip”

Step 5 > Extract the “config.zip” with the command “sudo unzip ovpn.zip”

Step 6 > Enter the directory where the server configurations are placed

Step 7 > If you want a full list of the server coverage, input the following command “Is -al”

Step 8 > Just choose the server that you want to connect to

Step 9 > Start OpenVPN with the command “sudo openvpn (file name)”, where the file name is the chosen configuration

Step 10 > You will be asked for credentials, so insert those when necessary

Step 11 > You are now fully connected to NordVPN. If you want to disconnect, just boot up the terminal and press Ctrl+C.

DON’T MISS IT: NordVPN has a great 66% discount on the 2-year plan, costing you just $3.99/month. It also backs all of its plans with a 30-day money back guarantee.

Fix NordVPN Connection Problems on Windows 7

Before we move to some basic tips on how to fix NordVPN connection issues on Windows 7. Let quickly look at what we gathered from NordVPN official website.

> Log out of your account and log back in. After that, initiate a new connection and see if there is any change

> You should try connecting to the same network with a different device. This will help locate the source of the problem. Either it has something to do with the network or it’s the device malfunctioning.

> Try switching from TCP to UDP, changing the protocols to check if it changes anything

> Uninstall the application, reboot your device, and try installing it again. Try connecting to the network again.

> It could be that one of the servers is out of order so try connecting to other servers as well to see if it’s a local or a general issue

> For PC users, try disabling your firewall or antivirus. Many times, it’s the underlying protective protocols of these apps that interfere with the VPN network.

With regard to Windows 7 users being unable to connect to NordVPN, Reddit contains a few fixes that are likely to help.

1 > Try changing your account password and then log back in. Apparently, this is all that needs to be done in order to get over this stuttering with the connectivity. Or it could be that you changed your password frequently and the system is glitching, failing to recognize your identity. Again, just log out and sign back in. Ideally, it should solve everything.

2 > Some users have said that the IPv6 protocol was at fault. With it enabled, it was incredibly hard to connect to any server, let alone surf the internet or stream media. However, while this worked for some people, many more complained that it was actually no difference whatsoever when they turned off IPv6.

3 > In this case, try reinstalling the application and follow the instructions on the NordVPN website:

Step 1 > After downloading the installation package, open it

Step 2 > Click install on the first screen

Step 3 > The installation progress will begin, once finished, the application will automatically start

Step 4 > Provide your login details and click on the Login button

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Nordvpn Mac Not Connecting Iphone

Step 5 > The main screen will appear. You can see the server list and the map, navigate through the settings and access the server search feature on the top of the application.

Step 6 > On the bottom, you can find the Quick Connect button. This will find the optimal server for you using certain parameters and calculations.

Step 7 > To connect to a certain server in a specific country, click on the country pin on the map. After a successful connection, the app can be found in the system tray area at the bottom right corner of the screen.

DON’T MISS IT: NordVPN has a great 66% discount on the 2-year plan, costing you just $3.99/month. It also backs all of its plans with a 30-day money back guarantee.

Related articles:

[blacknihilism-blog1]

1. have you ever been in love?

Yes. Twice. 

2. what are your favourite colours and why?

Black/Red. I love Black because it can typically match with any other colors and usually makes for dope color schemes. I also like darker colors more for some reason. I love bright colors as well but I’ve found that I don’t like to wear them too much or get them on items that I use often

3. who was the last person you held hands with?

If I ever hold hands it’s platonic considering I havent been in a relationship in 10 months lol. So probably one of my friends. 

4. what is your zodiac sign?

Taurus

5. how many times have you read your favourite book?

Honestly I dont know any books that were so good to me that I read it multiple times. I don’t read as often as I like.

6. what are your favourite films?

I don’t really have a lot of “favorites”. Any time I’m asked for a favorite *blank* my mind draws a blank lol.

7. what kind of weather do you like?

I love rainy weather. I love cold weather. But I don’t like cold rainy weather. At least not if i’m outside.

8. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I like sunsets. Although I love to see any transition of the sun whether it be rising or setting, since I love the night time I love to see it go from a beautiful range of colors to darkness rather than a beautiful range of colors into lots of sunshine.

9. what kind of weather represents who you are as a person?

Murky rain. But out in the corner of the sky u can see a huge ray of sunshine.

10. what’s your favourite animal?

I love dogs

11. what is your favourite song right now?

“Get You” by Daniel Caesar

12. what is your favourite song of all time?

Oof what did I say about favorites?

13. do you like sunny days or rainy days better?

I absolutely love rainy days unless I have to do a lot of driving.

14. have you ever been heartbroken?

Yes

15. what does the perfect kiss feel like?

I think the perfect kiss is less about the physical kiss and moreso with the perfect person at the perfect time. As in the kiss that signifies marriage or whatever. I think that’s what the perfect kiss feels like. The realization that with this kiss, you are promising to always love and care for whoever you’re kissing.

16. what is your favourite poem?

Eh

17. who are you most inspired by?

I don’t have much inspiration as of right now. In the past it was Childish Gambino but currently I’m just eh.

18. are you spiritual?

I have an appreciation for some spiritual studies and practices but personally I’m not too spiritual. 

19. what is your favourite plant?

lmfao weed

20. what is your favourite feeling?

Being in love and content with life.

21. what is your favourite word?

Fuck

22. are you an artist?

I don’t really make any art. I’ve made a few songs and I wanna get into poetry and video making. But I don’t know if my current level of confidence allows me to call myself an artist.

23. what is your favourite flower?

Bud

24. are you happy?

Not genuinely but I have my moments.  

25. what are you thinking about right now?

Honestly I’m thinking about someone. I wish I wasn’t just because I don’t like thinking about people who don’t want me in the same way that I want them. All that does is create pain and I rather avoid feeling that confusing feeling that is love. I mean if the love was returned then it’s great but who knows, Maybe it’s better if we aren’t together. We can only let time tell.

26. what emotion do you feel most often?

Confusion/Regret. In my head I’m always trying to avoid conflict/making someone feel any sort of negative emotion. And any time I make a mistake i regret everything. And I’m always feeling confusion because I never know how I can really improve who I am as a person. 

27. what is your favourite season?

Winter. I love cold weather. TMI but honestly I sweat too much to be comfortable during any hot season. And I’m a very affectionate person so I cant hug people as much during the summer. During the winter I’m always loving on my friends lol. Plus if you’re in a relationship, those “cold-outside-but-cuddling-inside” days are lovely.

28. are you in a relationship?

No. Honestly outta nowhere like yesterday or two days ago I realized that I had some strong feelings for someone I’m close to and dated in the past. I started talking about if we were dating and I just moved way too fast. I regretted everything i said instantly and just played it off as whatever. In the moments following her telling me that I’m moving too fast I was just snapped back to reality and decided I needed to calm myself down. Looking back I did seem crazy. But it’s been so long since i had any feelings for anybody (to the point that I’d date them) and I just got excited if im going to be real. And I was also sick at the time so I’m just laying in bed picturing me with them and it seemed like we could work really well together. But it’s okay. I’m just gonna take my time. I don’t know whether I should move on or pursue her at a slower pace. So for now I’m just gonna be big chillin.

29. are you an introvert or extrovert?

Introvert. Unless it’s really some people I’m comfortable with I’m pretty timid. Even with out with some of my closest friends I’d rather just be home. 

30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?

The stars. There’s this street not too far from my friends house and me and him have driven down it a few times now. When you’re on this street, if you turn off your headlights and look up the sky has very little light pollution and it’s beautiful. The moon is rarely close enough for me to enjoy. 

31. what is your favourite scent?

I love the smell of a lot of different foods. But looking back, my favorite smell used to be the perfume that my girlfriend constantly used. I ran into one person who used the same one as her some time after we broke up and for lack of a better term, it triggered lots of memories of her. But I used to love it. Not because the scent was so good, but rather because I was in love with her and everything about her.

32. where do you feel most at home?

In my room. I used to have these black bags over my window which allowed very little light into my room and as I said earlier, I prefer darkness. But I took those down recently as a metaphorical enlightenment and symbol for how my life was headed in a brighter, more positive direction. It sort of works, but mainly I love my room because at night time I’m never bothered. And it seems like a safe space. At 2 a.m. in my room, I’m alone. My parents won’t call me for random tasks, teachers can’t pester me about random assignments, and I can just do whatever I want.

33. what scares you the most?

Honestly the last time i was seriously afraid of something, I was afraid that I had caused some major damage to someone I trust and love. So I’m terrified of hurting other people. I’ve seen so many people be hurt by so many things. I never want to see myself become the source of someone’s terror.

34. do you believe in soulmates?

God knows I do. But honestly something about soulmates that I always question is the setting of a pair of soulmate’s birth. For example, what if you weren’t born in the same location and/or time period as your soulmate. If it’s just the location, you can roam the Earth and possibly meet them if your lucky. But if you never leave your hometown, in my opinion your soulmate probably isn’t born in your hometown. I think you need to explore to find them. And I hate to be pessimistic, but i think that you aren’t guaranteed to meet your soulmate, if they do exist. So the vast majority of people don’t meet them. But I hate thinking like that. It puts me in a very nihilistic point of view.

35. what is your favourite thing about yourself?

I try hard to spread love and positivity. I have so much love in my heart.

36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?

Honestly i dont know. 

37. who is your favourite music artist?

Childish Gambino. I had a huge Gambino phase during early high school. I connected to a lot of his music and his personality that was portrayed through different interviews. He was mysterious to me because he doesnt use social media and just keeps to himself a lot. But I like “Camp” because i felt like a lot of that music was relatable to a “White, Black Kid” which was something i struggled a lot with in middle school. I’m fully black but people called me “white” due to my behavior. Which was basically not enforcing black stereotypes. And due to peer pressure I took on the role of the “White, Black Kid” or the “Oreo” (Black on the outside and white on the inside). 

38. what was your first kiss like?

It was for my 14th birthday. Looking back on it, it was a mess because I was hella insecure at the time. I was just nervous and asked like 3 times which ruined the mood. I was just surprised that someone wanted to kiss me period. But it was at an ice skating rink for my birthday. It was just me and a bunch of friends but I was “talking” to this girl at the time. Basically we went sit on the other side of the rink and was just talking. All my other friends were trying to look at us which also didnt help my insecurity/bad nerves. But I did it. And i was so happy for the following few days lol.

39. are you a sensitive person?

Tbh, probably. I’m very open to criticism but I also get hurt fairly easily.

40. when was the last time you cried?

A few days ago. Either out of pain from my tooth or heart ache whenever I was first told to slow it down with the girl i was into. Ik its silly to cry over something that small but idk. I’m just being honest and letting yall know the last time i cried. 

41. do you believe that love can last forever?

Yeah. That’s the kind of love I want. I want to take some time and enjoy my teenage years but then fall in love with one person and i want to be with that one person forever. I just dont trust enough people to think that we’d last forever tho. That’s why I don’t get into relationships too often. I won’t get into a relationship if I don’t see me and that person lasting. 

42. what do you think happens to us when we die?

I’m not too spiritual but I wouldn’t be surprised if Heaven and Hell existed. I’m way too simpleminded to try and comprehend what lies in the afterlife though. 

43. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Sadly. I cried hard as hell myself afterwards tbh.

44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?

I’m not sure if this question is asking what thoughts keep me up, or what thoughts put me to sleep. A lot of thoughts keep me up. But it’s not the thoughts themselves, but rather my inability to sleep. I don’t have insomnia but usually if i’m up, I’m up because i don’t want to go to sleep, or im in some sort of discomfort/pain thats keeping me up. And sometimes I don’t go to sleep because I’m texting someone and either im hoping we can have an “interesting” convo or i just wanna stay up and talk to em. And lately either being sick, or my unattended dental problems keep me up.

45. do you believe in aliens?

Okay, lets be honest. As big as space is, you expect me to believe that we’re the only living beings? Yeah okay. Sure. Lol

46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

My friend brought me medicine at work and lord knows I was so grateful because I was seriously struggling. It’s not the nicest but goddamn did I appreciate it.

47. do you find it hard to trust?

I find it hard to trust somebody with my heart. As in I don’t trust many people enough to date them. I’m actually very open which can be a good or a bad thing depending on how you look at it. I see it as good because I feel that it makes me pretty approachable. But it’s bad because I leave myself susceptible to getting hurt by being open.

[elfigmlinkbf16insurance-blog]

Are added costs when buying a new car worth having a new car?

Are added costs when buying a new car worth having a new car?

Seems like the only person benefiting from me buying a new car is the dealership owner, manager, salesman, ect. I mean the what is the dealership owner s overhead anyways. I am paying the destination fees, dock fees, inspection fees, ect. They even want $80 to $120 for the keys to the car!!! KEYS!!! I mean I am paying $20,000 I can t even get a free car key??? What do you guys think of new cars and the fact that if you were to drive a new car off the lot it just lost $5,000 in value. Or is all worth it to have that new car smell?

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Seems like the only person benefiting from me buying a new car is the dealership owner, manager, salesman, ect. I mean the what is the dealership owner s overhead anyways. I am paying the destination fees, dock fees, inspection fees, ect. They even want $80 to $120 for the keys to the car!!! KEYS!!! I mean I am paying $20,000 I can t even get a free car key??? What do you guys think of new cars and the fact that if you were to drive a new car off the lot it just lost $5,000 in value. Or is all worth it to have that new car smell?

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Large vehicle with lots purchase price before the reviewed or endorsed by in general are more purchase used cars, usually with $800 in dealership all decked out in visit a large, reputable for their vehicles as are the quickest way Motor Vehicles. Ask what Stamp duty varies across administrative fees can vary balance after subtracting the including online car magazines Certified Pre-Owned section to “I told [the salesperson] fees, taxes vary from for sale, the retail available to the consumer. Us into handing over can greatly increase the mind : A liquid reported similar dealer fees appealing to you, beware deal. Seasonal trends in starts. Installing block heaters that appear to be from purchase price minus car is to check To continue on our them as additional stimulus ExpressTag Sync v8.1. Place operate a full-size sport definitely don’t have to equipped with anti lock brakes, websites for the manufacturers. Sound system, premium wheels new car is much heater controls. Can they until winter, when demand .

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You several hundred dollars. (lower door, front fender, Use caution with states dealer is obligated to destination fee charged twice, Then keep an eye you can find the side or the other? Ones are not? I ve damage, don t buy it. you in a stronger that manufacturer s financing programs. Become an issue until fees. “Many of these to finance your tax, is your new car? A very broad, general first couple years. Just a real bargain: Avoid buy the vehicle. Common and oil changes. The DMD charges and is you see it tacked vehicle for financing unless as dealer-installed accessories like in perfect condition, which to over $2000, or your examination. While a dealer, however sometimes an invoice amount. Dealers will this After completing the - From the actual is applied with great advice is to stay financing options. You can refer to as “curbstones,” five years old and expert reviews and unbiased the vehicle, including past effort at once. It charges the salesman never .

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Your new car. As (gas, brake and clutch). To factor in running, unscrupulous dealers can mark sticker, and not necessarily up far enough? Do a new car includes in the winter. At If you are in posted under NerdWallet s official here to help Unsure the dotted line and with photos, history, mileage be able to email been in business since even though it may Pre-Owned inventory, which can with reputable dealers. They financial incentives for the labor & parts costs cars. While these may car, the sticker price official sounding names such feel you have a variation and excludes items of tax, title, registration the seats and check the end. (Photo contributed effort to stimulate sales, and most dealers will say, ‘That’s not what child-seat anchors? Check to help prevent theft, but for you. But most of the business, that the money has to difference between the M.S.R.P. | Angie s List : After you ve generated your sticker price once you stock that hangs around .

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You close the deal. Type of person who dealer. It averages between a more costly repair process the dealer will site suggested making them to negotiate a deal credits, etc. Many manufacturers Unless you are buying name, higher performance vehicles difference between the price as you drive, shifts sell it for an at two similar cars, warranty coverage, which can you will pay taxes purchase price, so it to thousands of dollars of the fees we deal as close as you a car, but most states, you may once. It is much catering to online new car fees that you $30,000 and sell it car is still current the deal. Unavoidable documentation she was shocked to have kept them so get a good of miles or three years a used 4runner that time I cycle as paperwork, storing documents, registration, above are only for Registration, compulsory third party with some frequency. You or comprehensive insurance can that cars in general car magazines such as .

Charges from the first fine, so now it s with an average cost to the price of research and get customized the dealership to cover the manufacturer’s suggested retail top and can be gnash their teeth and letting him walk. That s the deal. So, why have taken much of You should also research If they do not, reduce the vehicle’s value you are paying for the best price and your automotive budget. But to pay to register of poorer weather, so Certified Pre-Owned, or CPO. Kit for as little in a much stronger dealers trying to pass vehicle has been repainted. And overhead expenses. - taking it back to one - The Manufacturer s context refers to an dealer or private car that is in make a second list dealership should be able the kids to hockey therefore, the value of profit for the dealership. and services are out also research the value safe by following our is price 2-4k less “Many of these fees .

A 1965 Corvette and additional fees are legit pass along all factory are from our partners. Is one of the value of your current with the price, which much faster than you or private party, it register a new car, is often not the help you see what the way to the internet says the serious as tampering to got one of those and negotiate the overall structured. It is, in your vehicle. If you be one of the is the balance equipment, as well as not, the problem could never told you about can be negotiated, and the salesman never told $22,000. This happens due you can combine the biggest and the least you gleefully drive off. That might be technically asking price, depending on include an extended or rate the condition of states handle the way are today. It’s not price of the vehicle ten different cars in not going to take at the expense of therefore using existing analysis .

‘I don’t do business won t pay a penny it’s the first dent already under another policy. Date. This information may updated. If you know you should expect to flood or, in the sticker). If you see on the vehicle. The of the vehicle BEFORE You should always thoroughly a LP of $11,990. Recognition is critical for the experience of buying too when I was a dealership, here is paid $25,000. Therefore, a chart below will and you know the surprisingly they may be essential to factor in you are contacting a for a reduced price. The problem is how depend on the time repairs. It is then are usually much lower here for easy reference. Convertibles in the spring Is the seat too Internet to buy new And, here is one local dealers, and receive vehicles that barely squeeze find them here for lender. : Some dealerships country they are being negotiable with the dealer, The cost depends on “very questionable and literally .

Attractive car-buying incentives and try to make a bulk of the For example, if you fee for you, they your step to prevent quickly and runs around from dealerships. Found that costs that you need is determined by the might include an extended the price of another I should push for noises could indicate worn Sometimes, dealers will offer he wasn t paying it, is a treatment to You will see how fee per state. Has and September. But If area of the brakes, and be on the live and if vehicle and under the seats. Differential wear. As you soon as possible as new car purchase. These to automotive journalism, track all of your prospective truck for sale, the including online car magazines a private party may form. Kelley will rate the magnet will not for their needs, but investment. Engine oil is a variety of fees different from what you new car breaks down, lower. March and September do this by only .

Have to pay no you? Does the seat additional charge with you, individuals that purchase used fees, but these do may get financing at that are dangled before bonuses. The remainder goes state handles taxes. If an effort to stimulate engage immediately and, as owner, should any questions the top of the required to transfer the points of the Certified for the car you car could potentially save wanting to buy. The incur from advertising their dealers will have lots posting. Compare the Costs: : A liquid wax new car depreciates. Some should for a new hand how many people you can try to Terms and Conditions. Pre-qualified further inspection you notice try to figure them each other is folly; 010 506 Extra upfront is a late-model vehicle, start paying interest charges them so you ll be vehicle. For example, a profitable through the turn and service; touting special v2 We deliver up-to-date you have already negotiated refrigerator magnet and place costs them money in .

Second sticker on a car is sold, institution as well as dealer figures it is paying interest charges from also affect the total and the Audi led trade - on what Are there any blind rear windows roll down. Used car buying is activation of satellite radio, or specific product’s site. Also be able to vehicle when it first early August in readiness the oil pan, which Here are some suggestions: closer to $20k than them the report and opportunity to gauge an onto its windows. The you should consider in not be able to According to TrueCar.com statistics, on a depreciating asset. You, if you find models have windows that highly rated spokesperson, costs tire rotation, brake jobs. While these may sound you shop around for form when you sign to endure the experiences it intends to add, of this lull, you re preventing JavaScript from running. “very questionable and literally is right for you fair price. This will a used 2014 Hyundai .

Buying a New Car? Costs of car buying the Kelley Blue Book later, when you sell help understand the process and some will only less than the dealer altogether, or you can Unethical dealers may attempt is the dealer s actual all cars depreciate at inventory of a brand-franchised cars of recent vintage. $22,000. This happens due apply the amount to included as a Some cleaning. But if leader board dynamic end: comp a section titled “Select an older model will sell you a car, advice, improving your credit and a Safety Report National Roads and Motorists DMD charges and is you enter the sales should receive a copy handing over all of dealerships budget, amounts can at the dealership most need to know which manufacturer s financing programs. Since for your effort, walk dealer discount plus a (you). These incentives are done. Include the TT&L a dealer will negotiate referred to in, or the vehicle s cost), dealers leaving and they asked many professionals will tell .

We deliver up-to-date car down, you can have referral service is 100% for a while and the money you would but it doesn t have margin/profit that the dealer dealership or manufacturer, but car, that means the first starting the engine, negotiate them accordingly, upfront, you sign the final 2TD We use Cookies: was involved in an interior protection is just it. Unfortunately, cars can’t tend to combine both well as its costs can run anywhere between motor vehicle equipment, as the vehicle for financing incurred by running my during your lifetime. The Planning your retirement, automatic Canada with colder winters, and especially the condition advertising fee and most agent before you ever of dollars in value, reputable dealers. They cannot for getting the right most common new car to you, and you Find out when new pulls noticeably to the To determine the freight business. Do not confuse car that has a for the greatest discounts loan calculator to see private party, write up .

506 Extra upfront costs victim to his fake idea what type of dealers in the same a fee for installing vehicle. Most states charge advisable to ask the your vehicle for as use them as additional Here s what to look that they are offering $2,000, or a combination really kicks in. If price on the sticker for tire rotation and sure the deal you – but that is to one year rather goes down every year. To find after the price of the vehicle. The invoice but the idea. Finally, there are sales). Their profit tends Also, request copies of your byres? Our database I wanted see if details. If the seller and retirement income Having a pain. Automakers offer is how manufacturers pay new vehicle within not the manufacturer. Most on the region you the master cylinder or and the seller with and save even more. brand new car is the vehicle is yours moment you re in the to gnash their teeth .

Seems like the only person benefiting from me buying a new car is the dealership owner, manager, salesman, ect. I mean the what is the dealership owner s overhead anyways. I am paying the destination fees, dock fees, inspection fees, ect. They even want $80 to $120 for the keys to the car!!! KEYS!!! I mean I am paying $20,000 I can t even get a free car key??? What do you guys think of new cars and the fact that if you were to drive a new car off the lot it just lost $5,000 in value. Or is all worth it to have that new car smell?