#just . idk. im just upset
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra
#this art hurts so bad#in a way i'd never be able to explain#also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:(#idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is#and go to sleep good night#it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that#but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it#genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess#im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#javier escuella
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nothing is worse than watching something and genuinely enjoying it and how they changed things and then seeing how other people like hate it like okay fuck me i guess i guess i won't be sharing any opinions just cus im gonna get dismembered for it
#critical role#critrole#the legend of vox machina#vox machina#tlovm season 3#tlovm s3#critical role tlovm#tlovm spoilers#tlovm season 3 spoilers#tlovm#the legend of vox machina spoilers#vox machina s3#vox machina spoilers#legend of vox machina#critical role vox machina#i just know people are gonna be negative nancys about it#and it's upsetting because i'm loving the whole season so far and the changes they're making#in conclusion i definitely look forward to being a tlovm s3 enjoyer 🫠🫠#maybe im just being anxious but idk#if i know the internet#this season is gonna be the one that starts the gatekeeping#maybe im just being /neg but i don't have a good feeling#even though i loved those episodes
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JW: Chaos Theory Spoilers
"You knew Brooklynn was alive and you didn't tell us!?"
Is this anything? Anything at all??
#How to anger Kenji 101#first withhold information from him#second... there is no second just get ready to defend yourself#okay but i think why Kenji gets really upset in these instances is because#in his mind he's being left out or cast aside#deemed not as important to know what going on#and considering how his father neglected him and left him behind#this hits on his insecurities#it's especially hurtful when it comes from friends who eventually become his only family#idk#maybe im looking too deep#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#jwct#jwct s2#jwct spoilers#kenji kon#iaf.post
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thinking about sqq using the leaves to end the fight between binghe and ming fan, even though he loses b-points in the process, and how this establishes a pattern of his: even when he's concerned with his own safety, he sacrifices it to protect binghe
#svsss#im really sleepy on a melatonin idk if im making sense#but one of the things that really struck me when i had just started reading#was how upset he was watching binghe get bullied#and how outraged he was that the system wouldnt let him intervene in a situation of child abuse#sqq's kindness was shining through even then.... i love him
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza series#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#ichiban kasuga#masato arakawa#ryo aoki#snap sketches#edit: two versions cause im indecisive about everything ever#this one goes out to anon ..... hi ....#Truly ask really did just. make me wanna draw em LMAO#idk why i decided they should get takoyaki afterwards but idk. best thing to do before you go to jail vjaLRKVKE#tbh i just know that whenever i was upset my sis would take me out to get food#it wasnt often since shes not home much but on the off chance she caught me on a bad day we'd always get ice cream or somn#ironically my sister's coming home from a trip later today and my sister's always been my best friend tbh so. funny timin for this doodle#i wont go on a mile long tangent like i usually do so ill just say my sister's really cool and important to me and i cant wait to see her#def why y7 hits hard for me ..... the FAMILY bro ........ beating aoki with a metal pipe as we speak#nuff of that tho. for now i sleep for ten seconds bye everyone
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i'm generally trying to avoid talking too seriously about this video cause it's honestly just all really upsetting, but i can't shake the feeling that dan was editing the tour trailer at the hospital not just to have something to pass the time but specifically because it's this huge thing they're about to embark on that has to happen. it's planned, it's happening, there's no going back. phil can't die cause he's got too many things to do in the near future, he's fully booked, there's no time for any of that dying nonsense. i think focusing on their next big project probably helped dan stay somewhat calm cause by working on it he's assuming it's happening and if the tour is happening that means phil made it through
#death tw#idk this is kinda upsetting sorry im in my feelings about it#i think the wine later is definitely gonna make me cry over all of this lol#god i'm just so glad dnp aren't the type to update their social media in real time during shit like this#i couldn't handle it
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am I the only person waiting until I actually have my hard copies in hand before reading the short stories? I've been avoiding social media all day because I'm scared of getting spoiled...
#i just want the excitement of having the books in hand before I read them!! is that so much to ask!!#I refuse to even log on to twitter rn because I know for a fact there are untagged spoilers flying around like crazy on there#idk maybe im weird for this but i just really want the pleasure of reading the physical copies first. to go in completely fresh#so i can enjoy them more fully#i caught a tiny glimpse of a spoiler yesterday (I scrolled before I could see too much) but I was so upset about it regardless#like!! idk man maybe this makes me old as fuck but i miss the days where you didn't have to worry about spoilers so much!!#i've felt so paranoid about it all weekend lmao can you tell#aftg#crow rambles
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If you have experienced this: in what way did it feel bad?
#if this isnt a universal experience it might b an ocd thing#i just feel like if i dont kno everything abt the obsession rn im gonna start screaming and tear my hair out#i hate it. my thoughts r running too fast and it just feels bad#but that might b a mood thing affecting how im interacting with my interests lol#and i have a tendency to b upset by my own thoughts so idk#poll#polls
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cw for suggestive humor🙏 . . . . . . . . . .
today, i bring you more funnies. tomorrow? who knows.
#suggestive#should i tag this as nsfw?? idk if its serious enough 4 that#im not used to like. actually tagging shit and giving warnings. but i gained like a handful of followers in the past week and i just#dont wanna upset anyone#so im trying my best#intrulogical#dukeciet#logince#mociet#also its not in this post. but i need you to understand#that i am the biggest dlampr shipper on the planet#i just need everyone to know that#if dlampr has a million fans i am one. if dlampr has 100 fans i am one. if dlampr has 1 fan it is me#if dlampr has no fans i am dead#if the world is against dlampr i am against the world#these bitches GAY. good for them.#sanders sides#tss#ts sides#sasi#sasi art#sanders sides art#tss fanart#remus sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#janus sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#my art
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i am nothing like him. my anger is only righteous. i am righteous.
#SPAT THIS OUT IN RECORD TIME LET'S SEE IF I CAN GET THE COMIC IDEA OUT BEFORE I PASS OUT! UNHAPPY KAISER BACKSTORY DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE#i know you don't usually drink wine out of a martini glass (i think? im not of drinking age idk rules) but . for visuals okay#michael kaiser#tw abuse#my art#blue lock#blue lock fanart#mihyapocalypse#tw blood#no blood here i just thought the imagery might be upsetting for some people.#bllk spoilers#HELP I CJECKED THE TIME THIS TOOK ME AN HOUR... AN HOUR WHADDAHELL#SORRY NESS.
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Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!
I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#discord emotes#i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but#i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share#since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself#the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but#some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts#so those im gonna skip on lol#whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em#i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones#if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use#i used concernednand (the upper one) so much#the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time#debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love#fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist#someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet#and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art#and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet#and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote#and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server#some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me#cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog#and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog#so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here#so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao#anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server#i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away
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thinking about john n davesprite n dave what happens when he finds out its not just a bird dave thing but a dave thing..... the idea hes built up of The Real Dave comes crashing down
like things were def made worse by being stuck together for 3 years with noone else n all of the extra issues davesprite has On top of all the normal dave bs but like, fuuuckkkkkkk
#and like#i havent touched hs2 in ages but just thinking about any post canon thats based on the canon end be it hs2 or not#john interacting with dave#davesprite was the dave he was with for 3 years#the First dave he met...#do you think he thinks about him?#sees davesprites mannerisms in dave#n realizing what a pedestal hed put dave on compared 2 davesprite cus he hadnt seen daves issues up close n personal#years later looking back#after maybe even learning about some of the details of daves fucked up home situation#having the context for some of ds behavior#he was just a kid....#he was the only beta kid not to make it....#i just remembered jasprose n was like.. hmm idk if id count her since she shows up so late BUT#SHE DID MAKE IT#ok now im even more upset..... he truly was the only one of them... the one who gave up his identity....... TWICE(counting davepeta as 1#N THEY DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT SO LIKE)#i am going insane#i am thinking violent thoughts#davesprite#rambles
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he is the dirt under my fingernails
#just a bunch of kons ive drawn over a time period#when im upset i draw him woopeee#snyways look @ my hcs boy#i hold unhealthy ass kon rlly close 2 my heart u dont understand ots so stupid#CAN U TELL WHEN U DRAW YOUNGER KON?? I RLLY HOPE SO PLS TELL ME U DO#kfjfoksnsnnngngngn hhhhhhhhhhhh#ive paniking all night staring @ the figure outside my window#now its afternoon & I CANT SLEEEEPPP tehehe#y doesnt melotinon melon mel something WORKKK#call back 2 the time i took a whole bottle of those tablets & stayed up 2 dayd that was weird#im rambling in my tags again mooommmm#yk what would b a good idea? taking my meds#imma do that yeah#kon el#kontent#U GET A TAG#konmen pls accept me as a konartist pls oh god#pls dont eat me alive#puppee art#oh hint of kart in there ofc bc im insane#i ordered stuff 4 etsy((i think idk if i did it correct)) & im working on buttons((FINALLY AGAIN))#me? doing work outside of work? insnae. its mot work im just drawing kon & bart send help#i need 2 shut up im so tired wikihow how 2 sleep
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Please take my low effort shitpost of our two Aston flopboys
Basically:
#credits to c for the 'ill bite you'#truly my magnum opus what can i say#idk i wanna draw something legit for the 'you threw me to the lions' quote#but like this idea haunted me LMAO#just because it is truly vettonso weekend *for me*(and all the other dedicated vettonso lovers)#im not too legitimately upset abt nando bcs im pretty happy for osc but like also his radios made me SADDDDDDD#this was the first time he really sounded legit upset and flustered :(#AND HE DIDNT GET THE KISS TROPHY UGHHHHHHH#so as c and i were talking about: seb is his kissy trophy 🥰#god i really hope you dont mind all the vettonso posting this wknd dhjfkg its a lot of fun for me!#also i hate that i have the compulsion to listen to early 2010s hits whenever i draw vettonso LMAO#gets me into thr mood yknow#fernando should listen to firework by katy perry i think it could fix him#2023 japanese gp#vettonso#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1 fanart#catie.art.
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Drew a spider lily in place of dolls heart
#so it turns out i left the cap halfway off my fav yellow marker for who knows how long#i am so fine and everything is going to be ok <- lying to myself#doll md#md doll#murder drones doll#doll murder drones#murder drones#murder drones fanart#md fanart#grims art#ok so im gonna go sit for a while cuz the marker situation is genuanely upsetting to me?#idk ill be fine i just need some water. ok see you have a lovely day thumbs up
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