#jurgan

[max-the-lagomorph]

Fruity

[jurgan-jacobo]

Amistad y comedia, la combinación perfecta #standupcomedy #friends #jurgan (en Beer Hall) https://www.instagram.com/p/Coubn9-rCAI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[artfartt]

I know this was supposed to be a joke but I was curious and now we have biblically accurate Salmon and Mackerel

[goo-goober]

JURGEN LEITNER?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER

GO TO BED

[marvinforyou]

dude as soon as i heard Augustus's voice I started reciting the Jurgan Lightner rant like it's not the same vc but he sounds like that stupid little spoiled librarian motherfucker

[totalement60]

Breathless par Jurgan Bertheau, 1960.

[dabookgoblin]

There's a version of someone impersonating Jonathan Sims and it has the thrilling follow up rant after this poor soul hit the season 2 finale and it has some equally stellar quotes!

please fucking watch this video

[august-racoone]

istg if i see another post with something having too many eyes saying its the beholding, i am going to scream. yes, the beholding is all about eyes, but just because something has eyes doesnt mean its beholding. as much as i hate to quote jurgan lightner " you're thinking too literally. examining the physical categorization, but ignoring the meaning of the thing."

i personally believe that eyes being were they shouldnt be/more than usual is the flesh or the stranger or the spiral. its body horror not beholding. yes, it has beholding undertones, but ultimately something else (again, probably the flesh)

[world-fire-entity]

Istg, Jonny and Alexander J Newall are enough of little bastards to see all the people wanting Tim and Michael and Sasha and—

THEN ONLY BRING BACK F***IN JURGEN LEIGHTNER

Book eating selfish inane ponce of an arse Jurgan Leightner

Garbage disposal of a man with a 14 year olds keen obsession with Slenderman Jurrgen leightner

Capricious son of a decimal point of a percentage JURGEN leightner

AND THEN MAKE HIM AN UNCLE FIGURE TO GERARD KARY CUZ IT’D BE FUNNY

[max-the-lagomorph]

Vampire Eboy

[jurgan-jacobo]

Comenzando la semana con Dexter #rottweiler #jurgan #compañeros #pet https://www.instagram.com/p/CqTB71cMA1Z/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[moodcrab]

Fixing Delphine

This bitch.

I actually like that they made a character that is on your side but is somewhat unlikable, Delphine is Team Dragonborn, but she's not really one of the good guys. And that's cool, conflict means drama. So what's the problem? Well unfortunately, this drama is surface level and isn't used to drive the story, so It's kind of just annoying.

People oversimplify their hatred of Delphine into "She wants you to kill Paarthurnax," because unlike Delphine, people actually like Paarthurnax. Understandable, but barely scratches the surface. We'll get to The Paarthurnax Dilemma in time, but that quest is a symptom, not the illness itself.

If I could sum up Delphine in a word it would be "inconsistent." For example, she's a fugitive waging a one woman war on the Thalmor from the shadows, who's only survived this long from sheer paranoia - but she also uses her real name and leaves a note in Ustengrav for whoever happens to pick it up with directions and a pass word to her secret hide out.

She needs to go through her super secret contact Farengar to use the Jarl's resources to go into Bleak Falls Barrow, a tutorial level dungeon she can see from her house, and she's impressed that you did it - but she also goes personally to the other side of the country to delve alone into the massive Ustengrav to steal the Horn of Jurgan Windcaller, no issues, just a quick in and out twenty minute adventure.

She takes the fact that you found her Ustengrav note as proof you're the Greybeard's new guy and not some Thalmor plant even though she herself, a non Dragonborn, had also completed Ustengrav and taken the horn proving it's totally possible. She even points this out in her own dialogue then demands we prove who we are, even though that was the whole point of the Ustengrav note. It's also a pretty big assumption that just because I'm the guy the Greybeards call Dragonborn that I can't ALSO be with the Thalmor.

We are left with this awkward sense that the writers are flailing to make us think this woman is competent and objective, without actually having her do anything that clever. Just act like the dumb thing was smart and have her act like a cocky brat if questioned about it.

Inconsistency. It's her thing. Does she hate the Thalmor? That would make sense given what we know about her. But that gets dropped half way through the main story and suddenly she hates The Greybeards, for absolutely no reason at all. She gives a reason, but it's bullshit.

In her own words, "If the greybeards had their way, the dragonborn would sit on a mountain talking to the sky." But that's not true is it. We know The Greybeards, they encouraged us to fulfill our destiny. Even if you say you want to follow their Way of the Voice, they'll be glad to hear it but warn you not to let it get in the way of what needs to be done. Delphine even uses Tiber Septim as an example, which is even stupider because The Greybeards actively encouraged Tiber to conquer Tamriel. Have I read more in game books than the dialogue writers??

But that's not the end of it, when it becomes convenient for the plot this hatred is flipped once again from The Greybeards onto dragons. Not Alduin. All dragons. Despite the fact that, as a Blade, she should know about Nafaalilargus, a dragon ally of the Empire and the Blades for thousands of years, and the Blades don't just indiscriminately kill all dragons no matter the circumstances, and that Tiber Septim himself almost certainly met Paarthurnax at some point, she suddenly seems to be acting like she has a personal grudge against dragons. Which brings us to the Paarthurnax Dilemma...

See here's the thing, you could easily write off the frustration everyone feels towards this quest as Bethesda's crappy design, where there is no conclusion other than to kill Paarthurnax, or else leave an unfinished quest languishing in the menu. Bethesda apparently didn't consider the idea that anybody would actually prefer to turn on the Blades, even though the Blades have become a bit of a running joke among the fans, or that anyone would take umbrage with Delphine giving out orders and ultimatums.

But no, it's so much worse than that. Delphine being a surly unlikable c u n t from the day we met her is one thing, but the fact that she has been wrong about almost everything she's ever said in game, and still having the AUDACITY to treat us like her work bitch and us never, not once, getting the opportunity to put her in her place... That's not poor quest design, that's the game gaslighting us.

Let's do a quick list of every one of Delphine's theories, and how many were actually correct shall we:

You are not the Dragonborn ❌

The Greybeards shouldn't be trusted to identify a Dragonborn ❌

The dragons aren't just coming back, they're coming back to life ✅

The Thalmor have something to do with the dragons returning ❌

Esbern is dead ❌

The Greybeards just want the Dragonborn to sit on a mountain and meditate ❌

The Greybeards wanted Tiber Septim to just sit on a mountain and meditate ❌

Paarthurnax, having lived in exile for thousands of years, deserves corporal punishment ❌

As ACTING Grand Master of the Blades, she gets to boss around the Dragonborn ❌

She deserves a seat at the peace negotiations ❌

And these are just the things that are factually wrong, leaving aside opinions on her morality and shitty attitude. This is the woman the game presents to us as a shrewd strategist.

BUT I CAN FIX HER!

Like I said I like the idea of a character who is on your side but is somewhat unlikable. It actually won't take much to make Delphine endearing to the fans. We have to do a Boromir on her. A Lot of people dislike Boromir throughout the Fellowship of the Ring but weep at his death. We have to tweak three things to have the same thing happen to Delphine:

1. Make her actually competent and useful so that while we don't agree with her we can see why she does the things she does, and desire to keep her around.

2. Have her mistakes called out and have consequences.

3. Have her redeem her mistakes with a badass honourable death.

[clearnachopirate]

a bit more of Charles' statement bc i have no

impulse control lol

Archivist: I thought you hadn't met Mr. Payne yet?

Charles: I hadn't. (A pause) So I sat and read it, didn't I? But it was a weird book. Later some bloke named Leightner bought it, that much I know. But I went through the door, and years later, I’m here.

Archivist: (After a long moment) Leightner? Jurgan Leightner?

Charles: I think so, yeah. Anyway, that's why I don't play cricket anymore, so I guess I’ll be off, Edwin’s waiting for me back at the office-

Archivist: Wait. You mentioned a door.

Charles: (The sound of someone sitting back down) I did.

Archivist: (Another pause) Can you describe it?

Charles: I can.

Archivist:...

Charles: Oh you want me to describe it now?

Archivist: (through gritted teeth) Yes, if you would.

Charles: No, sorry, mate. Edwin says you shouldn't know more about that yet, so-

Archivist: Who is Edwin Payne, then? You said he left you that book. The Leightner.

Charles: He did, well he didn't mean to, did he. (Charles laughs, and the tape glitches, almost catching on itself as it records) Edwin’s my best mate. (Charle’s voice is noticeably softer as he sighs) Helped me out quite a bit when I first Became, even though he wanted nothing to do with me.

Archivist: When you… became?

Charles: (A sigh, this time a bit annoyed) Not became. Became.

Archivist: You… you've just repeated precisely what I’ve said.

Charles: No, I said it right, and you did not. That's Becoming with a capital B.

Archivist: Right… So you… Became. (a snap as Charles gives finger guns) and Edwin wanted nothing to do with you.

Charles: Yeah, pretty much. But I grow on people. Most people. Some people. (A pause) I have grown on people once or twice. Or once. Honestly, not sure I grew on Edwin so much as he gave up on getting rid of me.

Archivist: And when you say you Became-

Charles: I Became, simple as that. (A pause) Oh, look at the time! (He looks at a watch he isn't wearing) I’ve gotta get back. Michaels’ to convince not to attack you, you get it-

Archivist: Wait! Charles- Mr. Rowland, did you say Michael?

(A door slams, and the Archivist sighs, head falling down to his the table with a thud.)

Archivist: (Muffled, as though through wood) That door was not there when Charles began his statement. This is… not ideal. (A pause, when the voice resumes, it is no longer muffled) End recording.

Click.

guys i am ill this au is taking over my life, so should i post it to ao3?

[burningfunobject]

Arcane characters as tma entities bc I need an outlet for s2 being so close

Jinx is desolation (duh)

Powder is the lonely

Vi is slaughter

Caitlyn is the eye but more garchivist than anyone else

Viktor is corruption or maybe end

Jayce is the eye (?? idk bestie)

Mel is the web

Silco is either corruption or web

Ekko is the vast

Sevika is the hunt

Heimerdinger is in the same league as stupid idiot motherfucker jurgan leitner God damn fool book collecting dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of the whole biggest clown in the circus laughed out of town cowboy motherfucking Jurgen leitner

Ambessa is slaughter just a very different type to vi

Vander is hunt (furry)

Markus is hunt (police)

Singed is either flesh or corruption but the moldy corruption

Sky is lonely (same as powder)

I'm not doing anyone else bc they are irrelevant and I cannot be assed

[corens-relisten]

MAG 17 The Bone Turner's Tale

THAT RANT AT THE BEGINNING IS SO REAL!! yes books are absolutely wild and im amazed that its not everyone whos thought about it

spoilers already!

omg its michael crew!! im so sure he shows up again but i didnt know hes be this early! oh right of course its that early he was mentioned in mag 4 Page Turner as a friend who got struck by lightning

OH?? JARED HOPWORTH?? LIKE..THE BONE TURNER?? (if you couldnt tell i write these as i listen) YESS IT IS!!

OMG ELIAS?? HELLO BEAUTIFUL i cant believe he actually said not to mess w the Lucas family so early

anywho i think this is the Flesh, bc, well. ~flesh~.

spoilers done (:

ELIAS!! HII i hate you but also like omgg helloooo hi so glad to hear you again

martin being out, a blessed relief?? good lord, jon! and yeah naomis complaint is valid he was kind of being a dick. she was too tho but the customers always right! (i wish they werent)

bros like "yeah my "friend"s stupid as shit, so seeing him pick up a book was unsettling, to say the least" thats rough, buddy

YES MHM. THE LIBRARY OR JURGAN LEITNER ((:

yess creepy!! weird distorted hopworth (: and he just got punched oop??

OH YESS. THE RIBS NOMNOMING HIS HAND THATS SO DISTURBING

well jon didnt simply dismiss this one! hes just pissed that leitner is here lol

and finally, my offering of the dayy!

this was one of my drawings for prompt 11 of tmatober, but it was too perfect not to use! so heres my michael crew

[silvandar]

Augustus is Jurgen Leitner.

Why has everyone decided it's Jonah?

The voice is Mr Sims sr, and the ARG J stands for Jurgan.

Did IQs just drop suddenly while I was away?