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ratcash-wasgud · 8 months

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・❥・Loser!Mizu Headcanons・❥・

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for how deranged this came out towards the end, so mdni pls pls. Secondly this is a Loser!Mizu x Rebel!Reader typa shit, so it will get specific at times. My requests are open, btw.

Okay, enjoy ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I stand by the fact that Mizu would be a huge loser. Like girlie grew up not really interacting with anyone but her mother and Eiji and doesn't really like meeting new people (Ringo for example)

She'd get shy, and you can't change my mind. She'd blush a lot, especially on her nose. Blud turns into Rudolf the moment she's embarassed.

She'd be the type to dress like literal Adam Sandler, then try to casually pull her shirt's sleeve up to flex her muscles.

She'd say shit like "Oh, these? I dunno, they just...spawned here." All while knowing damn well she spends half of her life at the gym.

She'd still wear shades all the fucking time, but not to hide her eyecolor, but because she thinks it's cool, and because she mained Johnny Cage in mortal kombat.

She'd listen to corny ass music like Joji, Hozier, maybe Mitski or even The Front Bottoms and bop her head agressively. Then she'd deny the whole thing and say that she was listening to Playboy Carti or Drake.

She'd be in the basketball team, but would be horrible at teamwork. She wouldn't pass, she'd just go for it everytime. She'd miss 20% of the time, and then yell something like "It wasn't my fault, this bitch was breathing down my neck!" or just groan loudly out of annoyance.

She'd be very drawn to water. She'd visit the beach very frequently, but the local aquarium even more often.

Mizu was standing before a smaller aquarium, looking at the spotted, green fishes' quickly pacing around between the glass walls. She came here right after basketball practice, so she was quite sweaty, and tired but being here, for some reason, always charged her energy. Her hair was in it's usual bun, but her shades were now closed, and were hanging from the neck of her shirt. Her eyes were shining in the dim blue lighting as she slowly placed her fingers on the glass. Suddenly, she almost jumbed backwards when she finally realized someone was standing next to her. She turned her head to the side and saw you. It was fucking you. It could've been anyone else, but no. You.

You and Mizu had a couple classes together, and you were one of the most prettiest girls Mizu has ever seen. She saw you on campus a lot, smoking in the parking lot, yelling at one of the fratboys because he parked his dumb car in a way that your motorbike would get stuck next to it, or literally running from one of the professors. She never talked to you though. She never had the opportunity, or at least that's what she told herself. In reality, she was just a coward.

Bit still, she would be lying if she said your face hadn't popped up a couple times when she touched herself. There was just something about you that always caught her attention. You didn't know her, but she felt like she knew you. Everytime she had a basketball game, she looked for you in the crowd. You were rarely there, and even if you were, you'd leave halfway after throwing food at someone. Still, she'd do her best, trying to impress you, knowing damn well you won't give a shit.

"What?" You laugh right in her face. "Scared you? Or did the Discus' mesmerized you so much you forgot you were in public?" You say, turning your gaze to the fishes.

"E...excuse me?" Mizu manages to croak out, her eyes widening. Why are you talking to her like you two have been friends for years? It's not like she minds, but it sends her anxieaty flying. It's her first time actually talking to you, of course she's nervous. She has rehearsed this a couple times in her head, planning to quickly guide the conversation towards how good she'd be at beating people up, (because she knows how much you do that) but now that it's actually happening she's pissing her pants.

"The Discus. Rot Turkish Discus, to be specific. The fish you were drooling at." You press a finger against the glass. "Pretty cool ones, I'll give you that. They can change the pigment in their body if they're stressed or sick." You say, casually dropping a "by the way did you know" kind of fact. One she didn't know.

"Oh." Mizu looks back to the fishes, but actually she's just looking at your reflection in the glass. "You like fishes?" Great. Stupid ass question.

"Yeah, kinda." You shrug. "They're interesting, but I'm here because they have bugs on the second floor." You point up with a small, lazy grin. Mizu remembers that, but never went up there. Bugs were never really interesting to her, but...maybe today she will. She mentaly notes that you like bugs.

"Hm." Mizu hums back. "If you think about it," She starts, glancing at you to check if you're still paying attention. "Fish are kinda like...water bugs." She says, and even shrugs for good measure. She needs to look like she doesn't give a shit.

You let out a laugh. "What a genius." You roll your eyes. "There are actual water bugs though, but I'm willing to overlook that." You say, then walk past her to look at the next aquarium, and Mizu just follows you withouth even thinking about it. "Cichlid." You say, pointing at one of the pinkish fishes. Mizu realizes how little she actually knows about fishes eventhough she comes to this aquarium a lot. She just likes watching them. "A very pretty one at that too. Jewel Cichlid if I'm correct." You say, almost as if thinking out loud.

It's as if Mizu became mesmerized. She walked along you trhough the whole aquarium, then followed you upstairs to the bugs. She listened you naming all of them, then telling her fun facts like 'An ant-eating assassin bug piles its victims onto its body to scare predators' and 'Ticks can grow from the size of a grain of rice to the size of a marble'. You were someone who'd always caused trouble in school, saying it's all bullshit and how fucked the system is, but you were actually very educated. On animals, that is.

She never really cared about people being smart or not, but right now it was the most attractive thing ever.

And with that, you unintentionally ruined her life. She was fine-ish with having this little hallway-crush on you, but now that she actually interacted with you for two full hours, she's fully in love.

And somehow that makes her frustrated.

She'd walk with Ringo on campus, listening to him ramble about this new dish he cooked and how she should totally come over and rate it when you suddenly dash by her, probably escaping from some football player you made mad again. Mizu would freeze, then mutter "why the fuck is she so cool?!" under her breath and lightly punch Ringo on the shoulder.

You're so hot it makes her mad.

You two didn't really talk after that though, just casual greetings in the hallway, and sometimes sitting at the same table in the cafeteria, but that was it. Still, it was more that nothing.

One time you started a fight with one guy outside of the parking lot because "he dick rode a teacher while the teacher was making bitchass bigot jokes".

You left the guy with a broken nose, and would've made it a broken jaw too if someone wouldn't have stopped you.

Akemi recorded the whole thing, and Mizu needed to discreetly beg her to send it to her.

She couldn't help it. Seeing your sweaty form, your face scrunched up in anger, your knuckles blood stained...it wasn't enough to see it just once. She had to watch the video on loop.

She'd wonder if you'd make a similar face in bed too. She'd wonder if you're a top or bottom.

She'd wonder if you're even into girls at all. It seemed too good to be true though.

Still, watching that video over and over again made her mind wander.

"Fuck..." Mizu mumbles out as her fingers finally reach her folds under her boxers. With her phone in hand, the video of you beating the shit out of some guy playing, your huffs and groans on full volume in her headphones. She closes her eyes, and imagines you kneeling between her legs.

She had a long day. She argued with Taigen, listened to Akemi whine about this guy, Takayoshi, then Ringo kept talking about this boring ass anime he watched about a broke God, or whatever...plus, she didn't see you once today. She couldn't catch a whiff of your smell as you walked by, or she didn't hear your sharp and raspy chuckle, or saw your smug grin. Torture at it's finest.

Is she proud of it? Nah. It's embarassing as hell to masturbate to your crush who probably forgot you even existed, but hey, a girl has to blow of steam somehow, right? And you just couldn't leave her head. It gotten to the point where she can't even watch porn, unless one of the actresses look like you, which is...rare. You're too good looking to be compared to sluts like that.

She imagines that it's your hand that is slowly circling around her clit as you whisper in her ear. Things like "You're so warm...I can't wait to taste you" or "You want this as much as me, don't you? Mizu..." and it gets her to buck against her fingers.

She licks her lips as she imagines your pussy hovering over her mouth while you slowly finger her. She imagines your taste, and how'd you drip on her face before you allow her to dive in.

She'd eat. Oh, she'd devour.

She saw your ass in jeans before, and it made her clit throb in public, so she just knows it's perfect when it's bare. She quietly moans your name as her fingers work deeper, placing the phone down to only listen to the audio, her other (now free) hand moving up to tease her hard nipples through her shirt.

She slowly pumps her long fingers inside herself, her back arching on the bed. She whispers your name as she imagines you slowly lowering yourself on the strapon she has inside her drawer.

She doesn't know why she has that toy though. She has only ever been with one person, and that was a guy. It happened years ago, back when she was still in denial about her gayness, and when she was still living with her homophobic mom. But after she first masturbated to the tought of you, she impulsively bought the light teal strap on dildo, just in case you ever somehow ended up in bed. She'd fuck you just the way she imagines it right now (lies, btw, she'd freak out and cum after two seconds). But still, there's no harm in having dreams.

She'd watch your tits bounce as you ride her, her hands firmly grabbing your ass. You'd moan her name, hair falling in your face as you lose yourself in pleasure. "Fuck...so fucking pretty...loving my cock, aren't you?" Mizu coos into the air, her thumb circling her clit as her fingers move faster inside her, agressively curling into her g spot. "Yes...Mizu, it feels good..." You'd moan back as you throw your head back when she starts thrusting her hips upwards, fucking you from under, leaving you no choice but to lean on her for support, pushing your beautiful plump boobs so damn close to her lips.

She'd suck on your nipples until they're red and puffy while she brings you to your climax. You'd love her cock, she's sure. She got the one that was the same teal that was also the color of one of your bracelets. Small, almost stalker-sih detail? Yeah, but she imagines you'd be impressed.

Afterwards, she'd lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, post nut clarity hitting her hard. And the next day, she wouldn't even be able to look at you, withouth getting embarassed...and horny. Oh only if you could hold her for real.

#bes mizu #blue eye samurai #bes x reader #blue eye samurai mizu #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu x reader #fanfiction #mizu fanfic #bes smut #smut #bes headcanons #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu headcanons

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lains-reality · 1 year

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hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

#lainsmail

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maochira · 2 years

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Hello there, can i request itoshi!sister reader who isn't into but still good at soccer ? For example, Sae/rin playing with her coz its bonding time 🥺 she has outstanding skills, not to preofessional level but higher than average. Little lady is talented and getting complements from sae's and rin's teammates. They even agreed she is better than isagi when he started his early blue lock days 😂. but then she goes (why yall are this hyped over few BASIC movements even CHILDREN *sit down you are still a child* can do in A WEEK or TWO ??). *insert proud itoshi brothers*. You know when their teammates ask her if she wats to be pro like her bros she is like (yall will never ever see me running on grass field. I hate the feeling of it so much. Grass makes me shiver in gross way. I hate grass. They can hide bugs ans snakes. They can kill me and then I die. I will never step one foot in it) 😂 yeah sae and rin can clearly remember all these days when she was younger, she used to cry blood and tears and jumb and hug one of them like a coala the moment her skin touches a grass 🥺🥺.

Another day another Itoshi!sibling request HERE WE GO

Tags: gn!Itoshi!reader (I know the request asked for sister but I only write gn!readers)

-you have a lot in common with your brothers, but your biggest difference lies between their passion for soccer and your disinterest in it

-you loved playing with them as kids, but because of your hatred about the sensory issues walking on grass gives you, playing soccer together was something you guys did in the house

-your parents really weren't a fan of that. And one broken vase later, it was prohibited

-and as you grew older, your brothers continued their soccer careers, while you aimed for something else. But despite rarely playing soccer, your skills were above average. It's just something that seems to run in the family

-your brothers keep telling you how you should join your school's soccer club because they don't want you to waste your talent. But simply thinking about running on grass makes you shudder

-at some point, you're allowed to visit Rin for a day in Blue Lock (Ego only agreed to it because Rin was so insistent on how good you are at soccer)

-Rin makes you show off your skills to his teammates because he wants to show them how being talented at soccer literally runs in your blood, aka he wants everyone to feel like they'll never be as good as him because part of his skill runs through is his blood

-everyone starts telling you how good you are and wants you to be a player as well, but you're just like "Uhhh that barely took me any effort but okay"

-in general, when it comes to movements and technique, your skills are above average. But considering you have no idea what it's like to play in a team against another one, that's where your talent would certainly leave you almost useless. But! If you wanted to, you could definitely expand on that and become a great player! But that's nowhere in you future's plans

#bllk #blue lock #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #blue lock scenarios #bllk headcanons #bllk scenarios #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #sae itoshi #itoshi sae #itoshi bros #itoshi brothers

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