#julian x seb | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amorremanet · 7 years ago

Note

for the character meme: sebastian aka ur oc 😊

oh man, this made me so happy, because I can seriously talk about this loser all day and ahh, thank you for this!

sexuality headcanon: In the words of Rick Riordan… (read, “I just wanted to use this picture, because I’m being obnoxious”)

otp: Seb/Stephen — which is like… Look, I know love triangles are regarded as boring and tired and overdone, and I did not intend to end up there because the original endgame plan was actually going to be Seb/Todd. But… things happened.

Characters developed and got other ideas.

I started going, “I mean, it could work out but these two (especially Todd) are not cooperating with how it would need to go in order to not be a complete shit-show, and also, I feel like it would kinda betray some of the themes going on in the story, like how siding with Caesar’s Legion in Fallout: New Vegas is a thing you can do if you don’t mind all of their crucifixion and post-apocalyptic pseudo-imperialist bullshit, but it undermines the games’ discussion of how being stuck in the past is a bad thing” at Seb/Todd, and really liking Seb/Stephen a lot more.

That said, I’m still trying to stay cognizant of some of the issues that they have to work through together — like how, on one hand, Stephen says that he understands things like, “You can’t cure someone’s depression by loving them” and, “You do not need to make yourself a Manic Pixie Dream Boy in order to be desirable,” and to be fair, he mostly does understand that…… but on another level, he doesn’t completely get these things

And on the other hand, you have Seb and…… I mean, pretty much everything about him is constantly a work in progress (not like it isn’t for other people, but Seb is viscerally aware of this and rarely at peace with it), but his biggest problems for the relationship include (but are by no means limited to):

his habit of making assumptions about what people want, or worse what they “deserve,” doing none of his due diligence on reality-checking these assumptions, and proceeding as if everyone is on the same page when they are not (and not only are these assumptions usually wrong but they often involve him not telling people about something going on for him that they should probably know about);

his habit of (mostly) unintentionally closing people off or locking them out of things that they want to be involved in because he wants to make them happy and give them what they want, and assumes that they probably wouldn’t be happy if they knew about;

his trouble with knowing what his feelings are doing, let alone deciding what to do about that or communicating them to anyone else (which maybe isn’t a problem for Margot and Pete, who’ve known him for 12 years and 16 years respectively, and know their way around reading his behaviors and patterns…… but Stephen’s known him for, like, 14 months before their first date, and nowhere near as intimately as Pete or Margot, and like, the Saturday after said first date, Sebastian’s going to be uncommonly aware of what he’s feeling and open about it, and Stephen is still going to be kind of lost about what it all means and if there isn’t something else going on);

—What’s going on is that Seb did not plan on having near-death experience #17 and turning into a mutant superpowered werewolf on the night before his and Stephen’s date. He also didn’t plan on NDE17 giving him a weird moment of clarity about the state of his relationship with and feelings for Todd. He further did not plan on his date with Stephen actually going well (due to him feeling pretty certain that Stephen wasn’t really interested in him and would probably realize that he deserved better and go, “Okay, I’m out”).

And Seb really didn’t plan on all of this dropping into his life all at once, so now, due to his own failure to account for the unexpected or do a reality-check any of his assumptions, he has dug himself into a hole of conflicted desires and about the only things keeping him from burying his face in the sofa and listening to his ipod full of mopey sad music until the problems that he created either go away or eat him, are:

1. he doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who does that, because he’s been that guy before and he really doesn’t like it (—it’s just hard because that’s still one of his first impulses); 2. he has to deal with other shit right now, too, and since he’s going to be out of the sofa anyway, he might as well try to handle the mess he just made all over his love life; and 3. he can hear you judging him, Pete, and while he can admit that he deserves it, he’d also like it if you’d stop.

So, Seb’s first approach to dealing with this is to just be honest with Stephen about everything (i.e., that he and Todd aren’t together, but they were [which Stephen knows] and they’ve been having a “friends with benefits” arrangement [which Stephen kind of knew], and Seb thought it wasn’t anything more than that when he asked Stephen out but now he feels like he was wrong, except he really likes Stephen too and he had such a great time on Thursday night and he doesn’t want to hurt Stephen, but he just… wants to please beg for some time to figure out what he wants to do)

and agree to any conditions Stephen wants to ask for if he’s okay with giving Seb that time (which are pretty much, “be honest with me,” “be honest with yourself,” “be honest with Todd,” and Seb’s addition of, “okay, you didn’t ask for this, even though you had every right to, but for the record, I’m also not going to have sex with Todd until I figure this out”)

Which is legitimately a big deal for him because, like I said, one of his first approaches to problem-solving is to bury his face in the sofa and do not thing, but… Work in progress. He is one. Yep—

and how easily Seb makes himself get nervous about trying to make people like him — like, they don’t need to be impressed with him or anything (and he assumes that no one ever will be, even though this isn’t accurate), but he wants so much to be liked, especially with Stephen, who he really likes…… and this is just making recovering addict Seb crash headlong into one of the reasons why he started recreationally drinking in the first place, which he hasn’t really dealt with at all beyond acknowledging that it exists

To explain: at a cast party in high school, Seb learned that people other than Pete, Damien, and Allison found him a lot more tolerable when he was drunk. He also fell off the back deck at the hosts’ house while singing along to “I Touch Myself,” which was the point at which Pete went, “Okay, we’re out. Come on, time for you to go home.”

Instead of connecting the dots in a way like, “Being drunk lowers your inhibitions, can make you feel more relaxed, and maybe people seemed to like me more while I was drunk because I wasn’t so high-strung or trying so hard to be whoever I thought they might like more as a person, and maybe, I am wrong in my basic assumption that they probably wouldn’t like me as a person if they knew me for real,” he was 14 and desperate and pretty convinced that he had no real value as a person and there was no way that people could actually like him unless they were, like, really special and unique (for all he did try his best to ignore and repress these feelings)

So, his conclusion was more like, “Wow, alcohol is a happy shiny magical potion that makes people like me”

(—which he now realizes was exceptionally bad judgment on his part for several reasons, with his two big ones being, “All that shit eventually evolved into things like, ‘Alcohol is a happy shiny magical potion that makes your problems go away’”

and, “My parents very specifically told me and all of my siblings that drinking because we thought it would make people like us did not fall under the heading of, ‘drinking responsibly,’ and fuck the whole, ‘My family’s business has been wine allegedly since the tenth century, so I should know better’ thing, what matters more is that I should’ve honored how much my Mom and Dad love me by listening to them instead of by being a desperate teenage idiot”)

(Not that anyone asked, but Pete’s personal beef with how he and Seb both did this, “Wow, alcohol makes people like me, I’ll take five” shit in high school is, “I want to reach back in time and slap my past self for even caring about being liked by most of the people we went to high school with because most of them were assholes and utter pieces of shit and I deserved better. Aside from Princess, Brittany, and Brittany’s brother Matt, all of my so-called friends from high school disavowed me for just being gay, and the only reason why Matt didn’t is because he just up and disappeared before I could come out to him, and he’s been legally dead for four years.”)

There’s a lot of stuff going on here that Seb has only vaguely begun dealing with in the almost-two years since he went to rehab, and he’s going to careen into a lot of it while things get going with Stephen

Anyway. As I was saying.

In addition to their own personal baggage, you also have Seb and Stephen both going, independently of each other, “Oh my god, he’s so far out of my league, this is going so well and I’m trying to enjoy it in the moment and even succeeding in doing that sometimes, but oh my god, what’s going to happen when he realizes just how far out of my league he is, ahhhhh”

—which is the biggest reason (out of several) why one set of their AU counterparts (of the many running around the canonical multiverse) ultimately broke up instead of getting engaged, even though both of them wanted to, because they kept doing this thing and not talking about it, and…… yup.

Fortunately for Seb and Stephen in the prime timeline, they’re going to learn better. They just have to work on it.

Also, for whatever it’s worth? The love triangle isn’t even going to be dragged out through the first half of the first book before Seb decides to let Todd go romantically, go back to being friends who are really close and mean a lot to each other and love each other but don’t have sex, and really get serious with Stephen.

I mean, Stephen is still going to get anxious and impatient and translate that into putting together an act for one of his shows that doesn’t quite mashup Madonna’s “Express Yourself” and George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex,” but splices them together, and involves Stephen’s look mashing up Madge’s “Into the Groove” look with hair that’s a bit more like “Material Girl” and St. George’s Iconic™ leather jacket and dangly cross earring (which he actually wore in the video for “Faith,” rather than, “I Want Your Sex,” but they’re on the same album, and it’s his most Iconic™ look, so)

To quote Pete: “It’s like somebody combined Madonna and George Michael into a beautiful, fat, Puerto Rican drag queen. This deserves to be on display at MoMA.”

—and then making someone at the show record it so he can put it on youtube and give Seb the link because Seb would like to be there but, at present, doesn’t trust himself at bars (more so since getting mutant werewolf superpowers, actually, since now, Seb can’t get drunk but still wants to, and it’s complicated and messy, and he currently really hates it because it’s keeping him from being at Stephen’s shows — they’re going to figure out an arrangement eventually, but in the meantime)

Either way, this approach actually works out and Seb gets the message of, “I’m trying to be patient but we’re almost to six weeks of you figuring things out now and I’d really like to move conclusively in one direction or another,” and figures things out

(—and Pete is just going to commend Stephen for this because okay, granted, Pete is not a drag queen himself, but he’s also had 16 years of friendship with his Princess and he has never considered using a performance at a drag show to get some message across to Seb instead of trying to tell him something in any other way and sometimes having to gamble on whether or not he’s going to get the right message out of it)

brotp: boring answer is boring, but Margot and Pete are tied here, and easily two of the most important relationships in Seb’s life. He’s also going to add Josie to this list eventually, as they slowly progress from being paired up without much say in the matter to being work friends to being actual friends.

Then there are the friendships he gets to develop with Lucy and Sara Grace.

Todd is here too, but he’s also going to strain things and will need to do some growing up after Seb/Stephen becomes an official couple — because unfortunately, Todd has been aware that he’s still In Love with Seb, but he hasn’t wanted to act on it because of a similar-to-them assumption that he isn’t good enough for Seb yet coupled with a different assumption that he will be good enough for Seb eventually, and that they’re totally going to be endgame because Todd feels like they should be… as soon as he gets his act together in some unspecified way

(Like, I mean that it’s unspecified in-character, and that’s a huge part of the problem. It’s a lot like how Seb has a long history of going, “I’m gonna get my shit figured out and get my life together for real this time”…… and then falling apart on that because he doesn’t have any concrete ideas about how to do that, just the vague impulse to do some kind of A Thing.

Like, Todd doesn’t know why he’s not good enough for Seb; he just accepts his feeling that he isn’t as Truth. And he doesn’t know how he’s going to change himself and his behaviors so that he gets to be good enough for Seb; he just accepts his idea that he’s going to get there and he will know it when he does because of reasons.

And, in all of this, he completely fails to notice that he will literally never feel, “good enough” like this because he will keep moving his internal goalposts on that definition, to the point that he could somehow throw together a movie that sweeps all the big five categories at the Oscars while still being an indie flick, and get all kinds of accolades and go down in film history… and he still wouldn’t feel like he is “good enough” for Seb because it’s not actually about Seb or their relationship; it’s fundamentally about Todd and his relationship with himself, and if he weren’t pinning it on, “being good enough for Seb,” he would just pin it on something else.

……He is really good at not noticing things like this.

Like how, despite being aware of how he’s In Love with Seb, Todd has never actually dealt with how he’s been jealous of Seb’s other exes because in fairness, Todd had some very good reasons not to like most of them

— e.g., Byron was a supervillain henchman for hire;

Francis was the world’s worst ecoterrorist (“What the Hell kind of actual ecoterrorist tells someone that he’s an ecoterrorist on the first date” — Seb);

Josh and Matt (no relation to Brittany’s brother) were abusive, and Josh in particular did not draw a clear distinction between, “rough sex” and, “domestic violence”;

Harry was cheating on Seb with like five other guys and found a way to blame that on Seb;

Rémy liked slipping his partners roofies without their consent, and choking them, and is currently in Sing-Sing on multiple counts of assault and rape in the second (and frankly, he should be doing more time than he is but Seb’s memories of their time together are unreliable for more reasons than roofies and gaslighting, so he wasn’t one of Rémy’s partners who came forward);

and Julian was mostly just annoying and fat-shaming when he and Seb were together (despite the fact that he wasn’t exactly skinny or fit himself at the time) — and like, okay, he was oddly (in Seb’s experience) not jealous of Seb being so close to Pete and Todd, which was great when his reasoning was, “You and Pete are like brothers, and not in the West Virginian or backwoods Minnesotan sense of the term”

[context: Julian is originally from a small town in Middle of Nowhere, Minnesota, and he thinks — without anything in the way of legit evidence — that a lot of his childhood neighbors were, “a bunch of inbred, cousin-kissing hillbillies”]

……but was so much less great when his reasoning was, “lmao please, Todd’s fat, he is no threat to me” (which Pete handled calling him on) — but either way, for all Julian was mostly just annoying and fat-shaming and obnoxious when he and Seb actually dated, he has since been seduced into working with a bunch of supervillains, which is a pretty fair reason to dislike him in addition to the, “He was annoying, obnoxious, and fat-shaming” ones

—And then, Todd is forced to deal with his jealousy when Seb/Stephen happens because Stephen is none of those things, and he and Todd would actually probably be great friends right off the bat if not for Todd being jealous as shit because Stephen is with Seb (never mind the part where a big contributing factor in Seb’s decision was how Todd blew off all his attempts to talk openly about the state of their feelings and their relationship, only to eventually give him an, “It’s not you, it’s me” line)

(never mind it because Pete is going to call Todd on this and tell him to get over himself)

And when Todd finds absolutely nothing wrong with Stephen, outside of things that fall under the heading of, “Pretty typical human variation and average levels of human flawedness,” he’s going to have to deal with the fact that he is jealous (in addition to dealing with the fact that his actions and inaction led to his current situation of having to watch the friend he’s In Love with be happy with someone else)

……Either way. Todd has to do some growing to do, and he’s going to be kind of a pain in the ass for a while before he gets it done, but he’ll get it together eventually. Because yeah, he’s hipster garbage, but he loves Seb enough to get over himself, and they love each other enough to work on things, even if they have, in the past, done a bad job of working on things between them for several reasons

He’ll eventually even get over himself enough to apologize to Stephen and work on being friends with him

……There’s really a lot of friendship going on between my characters because I’m a loser and I love friendship

*nina bo’nina brown voice* sue me :) :) :)

notp: Seb and Conrad — there are so many reasons why they have a bad relationship, like the fact that Conrad is heterosexual fascist supervillain garbage is just the beginning of why they are in notp land for me. Unfortunately for me, I find their relationship interesting while still wanting them not to be together — like, I wish I had a better point of reference than Snape and Dumbledore because Seb and Conrad’s relationship is nothing like theirs, apart from, “I find it interesting but would never want them to be together romantically or sexually for a cornucopia of reasons, and I definitely do not think it’s a healthy relationship, actually there’s a lot about it that is blatantly *UN*healthy if not outright abusive”

But, like…… If Conrad knew the MCU (he doesn’t), he would want to think that he and Seb have a relationship like Thor and Loki in the first Thor movie, or maybe Tony Stank and Obadiah Stane in the first Iron Man movie — and he genuinely does not understand why neither of these is a GOOD thing

(……he also would not get the whole thing about, “No, Conrad, seriously, Stane tried to have Mr. Stank murdered by terrorists, all so that he, Stane, could take over Stank Industries and manufacture even more war and military fuckery in the Middle East, so that he could continue to profit off of illegally selling weapons to both the United States’ military and to pretty much everyone else under the sun”

Conrad would focus on how Stane was a paternal figure and mentor to Tony, and would interpret their relationship as Stane making Tony into a hero, rather than a dissolute alcoholic man-child with no direction in life who had all of this potential to do good in the world and kept wasting it all on sex and booze and self-indulgent bullshit — which.

I mean.

I would quibble on whether or not Stank is a hero in the first place, but okay, the MCU’s narrative expects me to take it on faith that he totally is.

And yes, Stane was a big reason why Stank became a hero — on one hand, taking him down was Tony’s first big act as Iron Man that didn’t violate several international borders and arguably count as its own form of terrorism (to say nothing of all the other reasons why MCU!Iron Man is completely illegal, oops); on the other, Tony wouldn’t have made the Mark 1 armor at all if he hadn’t gotten held captive and blah blah all that jazz, and Stane organized that whole thing

—but reading their relationship as, “Stane made Tony a hero on purpose because he knew deep down that Tony had all of this potential and he was wasting it as a wastrel and a dissolute man-child and a hard-drinking party boy, and he just wanted to make Tony a hero” is…… wrong.

Like, let’s not mince words: that reading of things is just plain wrong.

There is absolutely no way in which that reading is right.

It starts off with a decent enough basis in fact, and then it just takes a big nosedive into the Lovecraftian tentacle-beast-infested waters of being wrong as shit.

Which, frankly, is a lot like Conrad’s interpretation of what his and Seb’s relationship is like.

Granted, Conrad tries to present himself as a fraternal figure, rather than a paternal one (largely because he’s 45 vs. Seb’s 30, and would rather be a brother because, in his ideal vision of things, they are essentially equals), and he has this whole convoluted series of rationalizations for why the world should work like a Silver Age comic book (or should at least appear to work like a Silver Age comic book, except to a special select few who know otherwise, and play the roles of superheroes and villains), why being the villain is actually in service of The Greater Good and kind of makes you a hero if you’re willing to do it, and why Seb should totally get in on this with him and be the Superman to his Lex Luthor, but they’re secretly working together and are still good friends

—but the gist of how Conrad understands his and Seb’s relationship as it currently stands is, um. Well.

It starts off with a basis in fact (Seb is the younger brother of Conrad’s actual brother-in-law. They first dealt with each other at Max and Linda’s wedding reception, where Seb was drinking despite not being 21 — he was still a few weeks off from turning 20 — and despite the fact that he’d just survived his first [totally intentional, but no one knew that at the time] overdose about six weeks before. Conrad’s ‘I sense a fellow mutant’ meter started dinging… but Seb got him very confused because he hadn’t fully manifested his powers yet*, and Conrad kept feeding him drinks, trying to poke him into manifesting or not…

[*: Incidentally, Seb’s sobriety at the time when his mutant superpowers do finally manifest is a big reason why they’re able to do so, and oh man, Conrad is going to be so annoyed that he has spent ten years trying to trigger Seb into fully manifesting so they could have a perfect ~villain creates his own hero~ setup, only for one of his underlings to finally succeed where Conrad has failed so many times

……all because Conrad did not properly account for the fact that he was trying to trigger a manifestation in someone who was regularly so fucked up on his drugs of choice that having a healing factor — even one that hadn’t fully manifested yet — is pretty much the only reason why Seb isn’t dead and hasn’t suffered nearly as much damage from everything he’s lived through as most medical professionals would expect him to have sustained]

Then, he slipped Seb a dose of rohypnol and he got further confused because it affected Seb when Conrad mistakenly thought that all mutants have the toxin-filtering advantage, but it didn’t affect him nearly as much as it should have… and then Seb interpreted all of Conrad’s behavior as, “He is hitting on me because being pretty and fuckable is the only thing I’m good for” and offered Conrad a blow-job, and despite the fact that he isn’t attracted to other men, Conrad accepted because, more than literally anything else, he gets off on dominating people.

Either way, they got caught — by Max, and his and Seb’s cousin Jeremy, who both got Concerned when he seemingly disappeared, not least because of the OD that Seb had survived six weeks previously and certain other worrisome behaviors on his part — and Conrad didn’t get busted for drugging Seb because he’s a telepath and screwed with Seb’s memories of the event even more than the rohypnol could’ve done on its own.

This was not the sole factor in the breakup of Conrad’s then-marriage — not least since Seb was not the only barely legal person who Conrad had raped, though his ex-wife didn’t know that he’d committed rape and instead thought that he had just cheated on her with consenting barely legal partners (all of whom were girls, except for Seb) — but said marriage did break up. Seb is pretty sure that this is more than enough reason for him and Conrad not to be friends with each other (because he feels like Conrad should blame him for the divorce, and Seb is perpetually confused by the fact that Conrad doesn’t blame him or seem to care)

……but Conrad thinks that they should be friends, and he’s taken several opportunities in the past ten years to try and convince Seb that they would be A+ friends and Seb should totally trust him. He’s aware of the fact that Seb really only tolerates him because they are their niece, Marie’s, favorite uncles…… but he still thinks that they could do some really great things together)

—and then, from that more or less sold basis in fact, Conrad’s understanding of the situation just goes into a tailspin and careens into a gorge filled with very spiky rocks, and all the spiky rocks are how utterly wrong all of his conclusions about the nature of this relationship are

(e.g., Seb is not “playing hard to get” with you, Conrad. He may not know, at the moment, that you have been telepathically fucking with him on and off for ten years, and you may currently be off the hook for raping him because he doesn’t know that you roofied him or remember that he tried to turn down your offers of drinks, but he knows that you make him feel very uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to be around you any more than he has to be.

Or, on another hand…… no, Conrad, you are not the big brother who Seb has always wanted Max to be. Max is the big brother who Seb has always wanted him to be, and the state of their relationship is just a mess because the two of them love each other, suck at communicating it in ways that the other one has an easy time of understanding, have a metric fuck-ton of baggage built up between them, and feel like the other one hates them for various reasons.

But the thing is? They’re actually working on all of that, Conrad. It’s a process, yeah, and it’s going kind of slowly but they’re working on it and trying to do a better job of understanding each other and repairing some of the ripped up places in their relationship.

And, see, Seb actually did have someone else in his family who was kind of a big brother figure to him and often played middle-man to him and Max when they were having a worse time of dealing with each other than usual. That person was cousin Jeremy, and no, Conrad, killing him does not mean that you get to replace Jeremy in Seb’s life.

This is not a Klingon battle-cruiser, Conrad, and frankly, when Seb learns that you were responsible for Jeremy’s death [—because Conrad telepathically possessed a guy who was driving a moving truck, made him run a stop sign, and had him crash into Jeremy’s car while he was going over to Seb’s place, and Jeremy died, and Conrad did it on purpose, thinking that maybe, Seb’s mutant superpowers would get triggered by losing a person he loved, but that he would probably turn into a non-functional mess if he lost Margot, Pete, Todd, Max, Adelaide, Ambrose, their parents, or Marie], then Seb is going to have even more reason to hate you.)

Thor and Loki get a little bit closer than Stane and Stank to being kind of like Seb and Conard’s relationship is like, but not for the reasons that Conrad thinks.

Like…… they are more like Thor and Loki because Loki spends all of the first movie screwing with Thor, lying to his face about all of the things (even things that he knew damn well that his brother would not take well, like the, “Father is dead” lie when Loki comes to see Thor in Coulson’s holding cell thingy), manipulating him and everyone else, and by the end of the first movie, Thor has learned that Loki was full of shit and playing him for a sap — but still cares enough about him to spend all of his Loki-related screen-time in The Avengers trying to save the little shit from his own terrible bullshit ideas (and, y’know, being a tool for Thanos, which is a REALLY bad thing to be, even though Thor didn’t quite know that part at the time).

Granted, Seb cares less about Conrad and more about the sanctity of human life in general — and he will admit that he has very conflicted feelings about letting Conrad live because after all that Conrad’s put him through, a part of Seb really does want him to die, even though there are other parts of Seb making arguments like, “Don’t kill him, you don’t want to be a killer,” and, “You’re angry and you have a right to be, but you don’t actually want him to die; you just want him not to have hurt you,” and, “Keeping him alive is better because he’s part of a bigger threat and we need all the information that we can get in order to fight them,” and, “You can’t actually get any closure from him if he’s dead”

—but the general idea of, “Villain treats hero like shit, manipulates him, hurts the people he loves, fucks with him six ways from Sunday, and so on, and in a twisted way, Villain sees all of this as coming from a place of love, while the hero progressively learns that Villain is full of shit and hurting him, then still treats Villain with more basic decency and compassion than the Villain has ever shown him” is still the same

(mind you, I’m saying all of this as not as a stan for Thor or as a Loki-hater or as someone who is more or less neutral, but as someone who loves the shit out of Loki because I’m terrible and I love garbage, and in loving him, recognize that he has pulled some truly fucked up shit)

(Granted, I do still sympathize more with Loki than Tony Stank — though frankly, a lot of that comes out of the fact that Loki gets called out on his shit and is reliably treated as a villain, but Tony gets a pass on a lot of shit that he pulls in the movies because of reasons or something, because apparently, being Iron Man means that he has a “get out of jail free” card for almost all semblance of anything vaguely resembling a sense of accountability [and any time he DOES flirt with accountability, he manages to make it all about himself, rather than the people who’ve actually been hurt here]

—and either way, both of them are infinitely more sympathetic to me than Conrad, because Conrad is just…… he is terrible. I designed him that way, I am writing him that way, but the fact that I’m doing it on purpose does not make him any less terrible.

Conrad is the sort of person who would say that he is totally just like Magneto because he’s a mutant supremacist, which…… okay, some incarnations of Magneto have been like that… but a lot of others haven’t, and far, far more importantly, Magneto’s politics are directly shaped by his experiences as a Holocaust survivor and his desire to protect mutantkind from extinction at the hands of humans.

Aside from the fact that my mutants are really not in the same position as Marvel’s — like, for my mutants, “registration” is like going to the DMV, and the whole licensing thing is flawed in a lot of ways because it’s designed by humans and the system of specific narrative interest is one being run by the US government, but it’s treated more like gun control than anything else because we are talking about people who have the ability to shoot frickin’ laser beams out of their eyes, among other potential powers, and it’s fair for people to want to be sure that these people have gotten some kind of training in how to control their abilities, know what they are and aren’t allowed to do with them under the law, and so on

—uh, yeah. Aside from that, Conrad is a non-disabled, neurotypical, straight white man from an old money WASP family (i.e., he’s not even remotely Jewish, much less an actual facts Holocaust survivor, and he is privileged in pretty much every way it is possible for a person in the U.S. to be privileged), and he only really cares about himself and his own ideals — so yeah, no, Conrad. You are nothing like Magneto.

You are the sort of person who Magneto would relish punching in the face, and I would totally support him in that and be all, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie :)” because fuck off, Conrad, you more than deserve this.

But, as I was saying: in Conrad’s mind, his and Seb’s relationship should be like Thor and Loki’s because Loki was the (indirect) reason why Thor learned some humility and learned to be a hero and found a sense of direction in his life, and unlike Stane and Stank (where Conrad would possibly admit that Tony is better off without Obadiah in his life after the first Iron Man movie), the two of them are (to Conrad) stronger when they’re together (……there is a case to be made for that part of the reading, but I think, “debatable at best” is the politest thing I can say about it)

So, once again: Conrad starts with a basis in fact, and then does not saunter vaguely downwards into being wrong so much as he dives right in and yells, “COME ON AND GET ME YOU FUCKING COWARD ASS SHARKS”

—and on the other hand, Seb really doesn’t want to think of any fictional counterparts to his and Conrad’s relationship, because he doesn’t want to think about Conrad at all because he wants Conrad to leave him the Hell alone.

Unfortunately for him, Seb is not going to get what he wants on that count. But at the same time, there are some good things that will come out of this, in the end, so Seb not getting what he wants isn’t exactly a tragedy.

first headcanon that pops into my head: …Oh, I don’t think I’ve listed his tattoos on here before — though I know for sure that I’ve mentioned his and Margot’s Tigger and Pooh Bear tattoos, and the lower back tattoo that he got while stone cold sober and just didn’t think that there was anything remotely questionable about putting a certain Oscar Wilde quote in that position. Anyway:

The quote in question is, “Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling” (from De Profundis), and as Pete put it, getting that — while knowing that it’s Oscar Wilde who wrote it — on the area whose tattoos are called something misogynistic that rhymes with damp scamp…… “It’s like getting, ‘nympho’ on the ass of your jeans, Princess”

(and that’s about the only thing he could say before just devolving into tickled laughter and begging Margot and Todd to please help Seb get this through his head because this was the funniest thing that had happened all week and Pete couldn’t)

Tigger is on his left bicep

There’s a rosary going down his right wrist and forearm (and strictly speaking, Seb would prefer to have an actual physical rosary because he gets a sense of comfort out of counting off the beads — but if he doesn’t happen to have one of those on-hand, at least he has the one permanently etched on his skin)

He has a chest-piece of his saintly namesake — because his parents named all of their kids after Catholic saints, except for Max, whose name was more for the sake of familial tradition (and even he didn’t completely escape because they gave him Baptiste as a middle name, from John the Baptist), and…

Look, if I name a character, “Sebastian,” then he is going to be gay as fuck and definitely named in honor of one of the unofficial (i.e., “not Vatican-sanctioned but lmao fuck that”) patron saints of the LGBTQ community (at least on a meta-level)

(also, seriously, I’m not linking to evidence of Saint Sebastian being a gay icon — partly because tumblr apparently now flags posts with more than one link as potentially spammy/nsfw or something, and partly because there is just too much stuff for me to pick one thing to link to. Google, “saint sebastian gay” if you don’t believe me.)

This Sebastian just happened to have Catholic parents who totally named him after a third-century martyr without really being aware of just how far the, “oh yeah, some gay people like St. Sebastian a lot, apparently” rabbit hole went

(Abe and Marceline middle-named their wayward youngest after St. Augustine “God, please grant me chastity and self-restraint, but not right now” of Hippo — who apparently shares a birthday with my sister, which is the funniest thing I’ve seen today — but…… well.

Given how Seb’s life has gone thus far, he can’t help but feel like that choice of middle name was sort of prescient.)

—So, yeah. He’s a devout gay Catholic (albeit one who is confusing for many of fellow LGBTQ people and many more fellow Catholics because he doesn’t see any kind of disconnect between these two things, or believe in any of the Church’s teachings about LGBTQ people or about homosexuality, and never even had a phase of wondering if God didn’t love him because he was gay, and actually, if sufficiently motivated, he could throw down a pretty solid scriptural argument for why using God to justify your homophobia is a load of bullshit and Jesus probably isn’t mad at you for doing it, but he sure is disappointed)

—anyway, Seb’s chest piece is from Gustave Moreau’s St. Sebastian and the Angel, which I would link to but tumblr might flag this as spam or something, so I’m gonna not

And on his right bicep, he has part of the crest that his family has just passed down as Their Crest (even though that’s not quite how it works) ever since their one ancestor sold the marquisate and came over from France — anyway, the part that Seb has is the wolf up on its hind legs, holding a thyrsus staff because seriously, his family’s business has been wine since before the term, “family business” even existed and long before any of them spoke English, and of course they had to commemorate that on a crest by dragging Dionysus imagery into things, because grapes or grapevines would have been too obvious and not nearly pretentious enough

If you ask him to do it, Seb can actually rattle off the full, proper heraldic terminology for the wolf and thyrsus, and explain what they mean…… but literally only because his paternal grandfather used to grill him and his siblings on it to make sure that they learned their family history

Grandpa Roland is the grandfather who has spent his retirement keeping up the family’s first property in the New World as a local museum, which would be a lot more admirable if he didn’t do things like whitewash the reality of slavery (and no, Roland, you do not get a pass here just because you don’t act like slavery was some mutually beneficial relationship in which everyone was friends; you are still whitewashing it, and it’s still gross) and keep several of the letters from his ancestor’s older brother who stayed back in France and took part in their Revolution (specifically, the ones that pretty conclusively prove that Severin was all but married to another man) under a pretty tight lock and key

Like, the sort of lock and key where you have to jump through a lot of hoops, fill out a ton of forms in triplicate, and prove that you’re doing ~legitimate~ research if you want a chance in Hell of seeing them

……or you have to be Max, aged 19, and steal your Grandfather’s keys when he’s not paying attention because it’s Christmas, so you can take your 12-year-old brother (who tried to come out to you a few weeks ago, but you were in the middle of finals and brushed him off and now you feel bad about that) over to the family museum

then, take him down to the archives, and go, “Look, see? I mean, Severin didn’t really say he was gay because I guess they just had different terms for it at the time, but… hey, look. The one family ancestor you’ve always looked up to? He was gay, too. There are even a few letters from his husband in the microfiches, if you want to see them” (—which totally made Seb’s Christmas, for all it also kind of got them in trouble with their Grandfather)

I forget how I was going to wrap this up, but…… Roland is a dick, and his grandchildren…… well. They love him, in varying ways and to different degrees? But none of them really like him very much (though, personally, Max would rather Sebastian didn’t do things like snip at Roland over holiday get-togethers about his beefs with the historical revisionism that goes on at the family museum)

favorite line from this character: ……Oh man, that’s hard, but okay, I narrowed it down to (at least out of what’s currently written):

Three short blocks later, a crosswalk stopped them. Glancing sidelong at Conrad, Seb said, “What do you think you’re doing.”

Conrad chuckled. “I could ask you the same question.”

“I’ve been sleeping with an up-and-coming new superhero,” Seb lied, hoping it might put Conrad off of dealing with him. “He really likes me, and now I guess he wants to meet my Mom. I dropped in so we could set it up.”

The stoplight changed, and Conrad nudged Seb’s shoulder. “Clever, as always. But even for you, that sounds horribly farfetched.”

He arched an eyebrow at Conrad and added, “More implausible than you spotting me by alleged accident, and following me like you have absolutely nothing better to do?”

“Perhaps I only wanted to enjoy your company,” Conrad pointed out. “Do I need a reason to spend time with my favorite brother-in-law?”

“Your sister marrying my brother doesn’t make us brothers-in-law any more than me putting your dick in my mouth at their wedding reception makes us friends.” Hearing himself, Seb blenched. He hadn’t meant to say that much. “Seriously. Why were you even in that neighborhood?”

“I had some business opposite Marceline’s building—”

“What, the DEA’s got you staking out the indie bookstore, the used record place, the Starbucks, and the flower shop?”

“I never said that my business this afternoon was for the DEA.”

Seriously, did Conrad need to waggle his thick, corpse-pale eyebrows at Seb like that? Did he need to smirk as if saying that both of them knew exactly what he was implying? It made Seb cringe and feel somewhat relieved that he hadn’t had much for lunch. If Conrad kept up like this, he’d end up on the fast-track to making Seb vomit, and in the event of that, the less he had to throw up, the better.

“As I said,” Conrad went on. “I thought that I saw you head into your Mother’s office. Once my business concluded, I decided to wait and see if I’d been right.”

“Wow, you can identify a recovering junky from across the street,” Seb deadpanned as they rounded a corner onto a relatively empty longer block. “Do you want a trophy?”

Conrad stopped, and called after Seb, “Why do you insist on ignoring me when I tell you that I only wish to enjoy your company, Sebastian?” He waited under an unlit lamppost, in the shadow of a looming office building. When he had Seb’s full attention back, he said, “Does that idea bother you?”

“Yes!” Seb snapped without thinking. “Look, I try to behave around Marie, because I’ve let her down enough already. But I’ve also tried to be unequivocally clear about how much the idea of the two of us spending any extra time together very deeply bothers me.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Advancing on Seb, Conrad said, “I asked if the idea that I might enjoy your company bothers you. One can spend time with someone and not enjoy their company — a fact with which I assume you are well acquainted.”

“With all due respect, please cram your petty semantics up your—”

This is from around the end of the first chapter, and…… uh, ngl, I love it because it’s a glimpse of Seb when he is distinctly not at his best — even less so than usual for the beginning of the story — and there’s a lot going on to set up some of the later plot-points, but even more going on to set it up so he can grow as a character. I also like it because it establishes some of the immediate differences between Seb and Conrad, and sets up their dynamic.

and……

A few months after that, he’d overdosed on purpose, but told Todd that, if anything happened to him, it was definitely an accident. Todd rightfully hadn’t believed him, and he’d told the truth to Pete and Margot. But he’d upheld the story with everyone else, and the party hadn’t been on campus. Come Tuesday morning, Seb made it the first final of his second-to-last semester as if nothing had happened.

“Okay, can you please explain for me,” Pete snapped. “How does factoring your exams into your suicide attempt and planning to take them not sound like you knowing that it wasn’t going to work?”

“I wasn’t planning anything; I was hedging my bets.” Seb said, “I’d already survived one OD, one round of self-induced alcohol poisoning, and getting shot. If that night didn’t pan out, then I didn’t want to tank my classes on top of everything else I was fucked up about. In retrospect, I guess I’m glad that I didn’t die. But if I’d flunked my whole semester because I’d been on a psych hold during finals?”

Pete only arched an eyebrow in his gooseflesh-raising way that almost always meant, “I’m not going to tell you how stupid what you just said is; I’m going to let you feel my silent judgment until you understand that on your own.” After a long moment, he waved a hand, bidding Seb to go on.

“So, the next was when I found out about how much Rémy liked erotic asphyxiation—”

“Ah, yes, and how little he liked consent or respecting his partners’ boundaries.”

Refusing to let Pete dwell on that, Seb went right to, “Number six was not long after he dumped me. It was the OD where had been feeling suicidal for a few weeks, but that night in particular, all that happened was that I couldn’t sleep and made stupid decisions because it felt like nothing was working. Time number seven, I learned Francis hadn’t been joking about being an ecoterrorist, and it was a good news, bad news thing? Good news, he had shitty handcuffs and I knew how to break out of them. Bad news, he shot me while I was getting out of that basement he and his friends put me in.”

“And yet,” Pete said, faux-wistfully, “you allegedly noticed absolutely nothing until you got to the street and that nice, older gentleman with the ponytail and the dog saw that you were bleeding.”

“Adrenaline causes crazy shit, mon cœur.” Or so Seb had kept telling himself. “But the next time after that was…” Trailing off, he pulled back a sleeve. The scar from that suicide attempt gleamed like full moon under the fluorescent lights. “I’m grateful Max interrupted it, but I’m more relieved that everyone believed it was because of some bad drugs. Explaining for you and Margot was hard enough.”

“Strictly speaking, I couldn’t hold it against anyone else for being confused. It’s not every day that someone you love gets all like, ‘I didn’t want to die; I wanted to feel something because I wasn’t sure I was real anymore.’” Pete said it without rancor, or judgment, or any bite at all. His voice was only slightly firmer as he added, “Does Max know you’re grateful that he found you?”

Rolling his sleeve back down, Seb shook his head. “What’s the point in telling him? He wouldn’t believe it. He’d probably use it as an excuse to go, ‘Why won’t you let me dictate the rest of your life for you, then? I’m only trying to help.’”

—Okay, there are a lot of reasons why I like this one, and one of the big ones is that I just love pretty much all of Seb and Pete’s dialogue, and their repartee is one of my most favorite things in the world to write. But I also love it (and the rest of the scene around it) for how totally blasé Seb is while talking about all the times that he has almost died (many of which were self-inflicted).

Like, you know how Mark Hamill deliberately played Luke as kind of annoying in the first Star Wars movie so he would have more to work with and more room to develop the character in case the movie succeeded and became a series? That’s basically where Seb is for the first three chapters, in varying capacities. He’s not at his best, even remotely, and a lot of his problems are being forced into full view, because hopefully (or so says a lot of what I’ve learned and believe about storytelling), that makes it more rewarding when he learns and grows and does better, down the road.

and…

With a sigh, Seb picked him up. He dropped into a seat at his table and set Achilles down next to his napkins and cellphone.

Apparently, that was too much space between them. At least, that’s how Seb took it when Achilles trotted back over to him and sat down by his elbow.… [and] sat there, periodically rubbing his little head against his Person’s arm. Whether he’d been angling for a treat or not, he would’ve gotten one, had they not been on the other side of the kitchen, and had Seb’s phone not erupted into song—

“I don’t wanna know the reasons why love keeps…” it crooned, in the digitized voices of Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks, lamenting a relationship gone sour.

—Seb froze. Achilles ducked around his arm, toward his chest. All Seb could do was stare at the image of Max that popped up on the screen. It wasn’t recent. Not that Seb ever would have erased it, but about the only reason he hadn’t lost it was that Margot had taught him how to back up his photos. It wasn’t a threatening picture. He’d scored a lucky shot at Marie’s second birthday party, one of the dark-haired, wide-eyed little imp grinning as she shoved a handful of cake into her father’s face. Yet, Max was smiling too, and that was why Seb liked the picture. It was one of the only ones he had in which his big brother didn’t look like he’d swallowed garbage or gotten the world’s sharpest stick jammed up his ass.

As the Fleetwood Mac ringtone died down, Seb breathed easier. True, according to the rules that he had in place. he’d need to either send a text or preferably call Max back, and preferably sooner rather than later. There were worse fates.

One of them, for example, was slouching over and putting your head down, only to get glared at by nine-pound Yorkie who looked like he meant business. Granted, Achilles also tended to look like he meant business right before spooking at the sound of a thunderstorm, getting stuck in cardboard boxes, or scampering underneath Seb’s bed to hide from the big, bad vacuum cleaner. But this time, his stern expression wasn’t abated by getting scratched behind the ears.

When he yapped at Seb, he seemed to say, quite clearly, “Bad human. You know better than to let your brother go to voicemail.”

Which Seb deserved. He couldn’t argue with that point to save his life. “But it’s not as though Uncle Max isn’t used to your Daddy being a massive fuck-up, is it, mon petit?” he cooed, sitting up a bit, in the hopes that Achilles would stop judging him. Or at least judge him less harshly. Scratching the little guy’s back, Seb added on, “Anyway, Max has enough shit to keep him busy. Bet you anything he won’t even notice if I take a while getting back to him.”

As if on cue, Seb’s phone started up again, singing at him how Stevie and Lindsay didn’t want to stand between you and love, honey, but wanted you to feel fine.

Straight at Achilles, Seb admitted, “Okay, I walked right into that one.”

Although it was silly to think Achilles was gloating at him, Seb could’ve sworn that he was. Which was ridiculous to even think about. In the even that the little guy had completely understood what was going on, which seemed doubtful, it wasn’t as though he even knew how to gloat. It also wasn’t as though Achilles had a high-ground from which to do so, considering how many times Seb had ever had to pull him out of a box that he’d charged into headfirst without any kind of exit strategy in mind.

……This is a loser talking to one of his dogs. There’s more going on than that, yeah, but I primarily love it because Seb is a loser who talks to his dogs as though they speak the same language (—and while he won’t get to full-on talk to the animals after the sudden-onset superpowers, he will be able to better approximate communicating with them)

and

“Ooooh, crikey. Here we find a specimen of the mighty Sebastianus flagrándus, an’ he looks like a biggun, too. Now, this breed is known for both their mutually beneficial relationships with lesser beasts, like that little Canis familiaris right thar and for their ability to fall asleep in strange places. Oy, he may not look like much righ’ now, kids—”

“But he’s six-foot-three and can floor a Hell’s Angel in one-on-one, and might not be asleep?”

Seb rolled his eyes before lifting his head and arching an eyebrow across the table at Todd Burroughs. Or, more accurately, at Todd and the video camera he’d mounted on a small tripod in front of him. About halfway between them sat a black plastic box that Seb recognized as the portable digital audio recorder he’d gotten Todd for his birthday, back in January. Fussing with something or other on the camera, Todd said nothing and didn’t look up from the flip-out screen. His mess of loose, dark curls had been tamed back into a short ponytail, save one forelock that he left out to let everybody know how little he wanted them to think he cared.…

Under most circumstances, Todd would’ve distracted Seb from how heavy his shoulders felt and the dry, sticky feeling on the roof of his mouth. Tonight, however, he slouched over, propped himself up on his elbows, and couldn’t find the wherewithal to smile…. Not if Todd was going to play around with his camera instead of talking. Wrinkling his nose, Seb waited in vain for Todd to acknowledge him.

“You should’ve said, ‘flagrāns,’ by the way. If you were trying to call me, ‘flaming’?” Seb gave Todd a moment of silence, then added, “You used the gerundive of flagrō, flagrā́re. Your scientific name for me means, like, ‘Sebastian, who must be incinerated.’ You want the present active participle.”

Todd nodded, but said nothing. Pressing button after button, he frowned, but still said nothing. At the very least, he could’ve told Seb not to correct his grammar in Latin, and yet? He said nothing.

Seb sighed. “Strictly speaking, though, flagrā́re is for when something is literally on fire,” he said, dropping his cheek into his hand. “But there’s no good Latin for what you’re saying, because of the Romans’ cultural ideas about sex and gender? Cinaedus is usually read, ‘he who bottoms,’ but for every time Ganymede gets called, ‘Jupiter’s cinaedus,’ you’ve got five references to womanizing cinaedi. Pathicus always refers to guys who bottom, but can be complicated? Morbōsus technically means, ‘diseased,’ or, ‘pathological,’ but also referred to cinaedi who wanted to get fucked. Because you could be a cinaedus and want to top some other pretty boy into the klínen. You’d still be effeminate, but you wouldn’t get called, ‘sick.’ Galbinatus works for flamboyant effeminacy, but doesn’t have any sexuality-related connotations. Ēnervā́tum is good? It’s a perfect passive participle, so—”

“Hey, Pretty Boy?” Todd kept his eyes on the camera. “Can you sit up straight for me? Without any, ‘How dare you, I can’t do anything straight.’ I just need to get this shot right.”

“Whatever you say, Mister DeMille.”

Words aside, Seb acquiesced and forced a smile, while Todd licked his teeth and furrowed his brow.

……Author appeal time: I love this passage because it was a free excuse for me to break out my seven years of Latin classes and interest in the history of human sexuality, and combine them into one of the things that, in another context, Seb would probably say right after announcing that he is a complete idiot and his parents probably paid his professors at NYU not to fail him (they didn’t), and then Pete would look into the camera like he’s on The Office because yeah, he’s dealt with this for sixteen years, but at the same time, oh my god, Princess, stop it

and (last one, I swear)……

Pete stripped out of his top and his nice jeans, and threw on one of Seb’s old Depeche Mode t-shirts in lieu of pajamas. He lingered by Seb’s closet, scrutinizing his reflection in the full-length mirror until Seb asked if he was okay. Pete shrugged and flicked off the lights on his way to bed. Nestling next to Seb, he went quiet and stared at the ceiling like it owed him answers.

After a few minutes, he asked, “You believe me about my eating disorder, right, Princess?”

Spluttering, Seb blurted out, “What the fuck kind of question is that?”

“An important one, okay?” Although Pete’s face was discernible in the low light, his grim expression was nevertheless inscrutable. “So, do you?”

“Of course I do.” He rolled to face Pete, and something in him shivered, rustled down the fine hairs on his arms and the back of his neck.

Thankfully, Pete didn’t notice. Seb pushed a stray, still-damp lock off of Pete’s forehead. “Jesus, I know you,” he said. “You’d never make up an eating disorder.”

“What if you didn’t know me?” Pete said, his voice barely above a whisper. “What if you got set up on a blind date with me, and Jimmy happens to be at the restaurant. And he spots me, invites himself over, starts laying into me. He starts talking around shit like, ‘How’s my recovering addict baby brother tonight? Still clean, I hope’ without saying it outright, while his wife stays at their table and waves, ‘Hi’ at me like we’re spotting each other at their kids’ peewee soccer game.”

As he listened to Pete go on, something roused in Seb’s chest. Slowly, at first, like it had to shake off a long sedation. But once it had, it growled, it lurched, it nudged Seb closer to Pete. He thought of trees again, and forests that he’d never seen in person, and running through them, as long as he had Pete with him. Getting away wasn’t worth shit if Pete got left behind. Seb rubbed a hand on Pete’s shoulder and his bicep. He had to make it clear that he was still here for Pete and he wasn’t going anywhere.

The only other idea he had, which he didn’t understand, was a compulsion scratching at the back of his neck, telling him to lick Pete’s face. Maybe if he’d been relapsing, Seb could’ve gotten away with that. It was a weird enough impulse to get chalked up to drugs. But sober, he had no excuse.

“And what if,” Pete said. “What if, when Jimmy finally leaves, you ask what that was about.” He didn’t take his eyes off Seb. Steadily, his voice grew faster, more intense, but not louder. “Pretend you’re some super clean-living weirdo with a Livestrong bracelet, who grilled the poor waitress about what on the menu was or wasn’t gluten-free. So, instead of admitting I’m an addict, I admit I’m a recovering anorexic and tell you my big brother’s a dick. Would you believe me, then? Or would you tell me it’s not funny to joke like that, because everybody knows that guys don’t get eating disorders?”

As much as Seb wished otherwise, hearing this story couched in a hypothetical situation, Pete had put in too many concrete details to be making it up. Worse, Seb could see his lower lip quivering, and he saw how the light glinted off something around Pete’s eyes, like he was tearing up. Asking if that had really happened might’ve made Pete feel like Seb was lying about believing him.

“I’d still believe you,” Seb told him. “Someone tells you something like that, you give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I didn’t want to believe it — I wanted better for you, I wanted you happy — but…” He sighed, fixing Pete’s hair again. “You come home from rehab, tell me the shrinks said you have an eating disorder and you’re terrified? It wasn’t about what I wanted, none of it. All that mattered was what would help you best. That’s why I got serious about kicking the relapse I was on, then, too.”

Silently, Pete ducked his chin. He took a deep, shuddering breath. But before Seb could think of anything to say, Pete lunged into his chest, flinging his arms around Seb’s shoulders and burying his face in Seb’s neck. Reflexively, he hugged Pete around the waist. While he kept taking those deep breaths, rhythmically and trembling like he was trying not to cry, Seb rubbed his back and waited.

“Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Pete’s voice was conspicuously even. He hugged Seb so tightly, it almost hurt, and only pulled back so he could look up at Seb again. When Pete pushed their foreheads together, brushing his thumb down Seb’s cheek, his tears refused to be ignored. They glistened on Pete’s face. Seb couldn’t look away, nor did he want to.

“I want better for you, too, Princess,” he said. “I need you to know that, okay?”

Seb tried to nod, knocking his forehead into Pete’s again, which made Pete snort and made his face burst into a grin. Limply, he swatted Seb’s arm as if trying to discipline him. He huddled in so close that a breath couldn’t have passed between them and pressed his face back into Seb’s neck. Pete’s whole body trembled with laughter, but it didn’t last that long.

“Just wish I knew what to do for you,” he said, loosening his hold on Seb. He nudged Seb onto his back and draped himself across Seb’s chest, nuzzling into his collarbone, the way they always slept when they shared a bed. “Was bad enough, admitting I couldn’t help when you needed rehab. But now? There should be something I can do, right? Isn’t that what, ‘best friend’ even means?”

Squeezing Pete around the shoulders, Seb didn’t know what to say. He managed to mumble some half-baked reassurances, but it wasn’t enough. Like Pete had said, something bigger needed to change.

one way in which I relate to this character: probably a kind of obvious answer, but…… uh. The biggest place where I relate to Seb is that I, too, am a depressed gay loser with a heart full of love and little sense of direction in life

thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: oh my god where do you want me to start, so many things he does are so cringe-worthy — but probably one of the biggest ones for me is when he just starts verbally digging himself a hole and trying to stop but keeps making things worse (like all of his scenes with Max thus far, and the one where Marie took her dad’s phone and called Seb because Max and Linda were talking in Max’s office and Marie knew it was about her — in a, “Marie is gifted and sensitive, and her parents are trying to do right by her but they are still concerned about what might happen when school gets back in session” sort of way, but Marie is seven so a lot of the nuances there aren’t entirely lost on her? but she still feels like, “oh no, Mom and Dad are talking seriously and sound kind of angry and it’s about me, I must be in trouble” — and Seb just…… hole. he dug one.)

cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: He would like you to think he is a sinnamon roll, he sees himself as a problematic non-fave, and I say that he is a burned cinnamon roll, has literally been to Hell and back, slightly charred

#scisaacs #oc questions #sebastian moncrieff: mutant disaster #that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #seb x stephen #pete x seb #margot & seb #seb x todd #julian x seb #conrad & seb #max & seb #mine: writing #mine: excerpts #ask box tag #memes for ts #oh shit now i have to cw tag #addiction cw// alcohol ref// drugs ref// mental health issues// depression//#suicide attempt ref// (mostly limited to 'seb has tried it before' but there's some discussion)#rape cw// (again mostly limited to 'this thing happened' but there's some discussion as well)#abuse cw// (this is pretty limited to 'this thing happened')#eating disorders ref// (pete has one. it is briefly discussed; mostly in the context of someone being a dick to him about it)#fkgdfhgf i'm sorry if i missed anything i've been writing this for 7 hours whoops #reaction gifs//

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the-iceni-bitch · 4 years ago

Text

A Wolf in the Castle

Pairing: Charles Blackwood x fem!Reader

Words: 4110

Summary: You arrive at Blackwood Manor to find an unexpected visitor disrupting the sensitive ecosystem of the small family.

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content (oral sex (f receiving), fingering unprotected vaginal sex), very minor violence (brief mention of blood), mention of committing crimes, SMUT, 18+ ONLY!

A/N: I’ve been binging a bunch of Seb Stan movies over the past few days as I finish my week off, and Charles Blackwood kind of struck me. I really enjoyed this fic and hope you do too!

Will reblog later with tags (join my taglist here!)

not my gif

Alright, what the hell? You thought to yourself as you pulled up to Blackwood manor.

There was a strange red convertible in the driveway. Constance and Merricat never had visitors aside from the Clarkes and you. You frowned to yourself as you climbed out of your sedan, picking up the books and flowers from the passenger seat as you went to knock on the front door.

Constance greeted you with one of her beaming smiles that always managed to break your heart a bit.

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you! I know Merricat has been looking forward to you coming to visit. You’ll have to excuse us, our cousin Charles has come to stay with us unexpectedly, so we didn’t have enough time to prepare a room for you.”

“Constance, you don’t need to apologize!” You chided as you followed her into the receiving room. “You’re certain this visit won’t be a strain, now that you have another houseguest?”

“Oh, nonsense! Merricat would never forgive me if I sent you away! I see you brought her some new books. And are those lilies?”

“Lilies, cherry blossoms, and lilacs. I remembered they’re your favorites!” You gave her a warm smile as you handed her the bouquet and set the books on one of the end tables.

“Thank you so much! Oh! Y/N, this is our cousin, Charles Blackwood! Charles, this is Merricat’s tutor, and our very good friend, Y/N.”

You extended your hand to the man who had just entered the receiving room and he pressed his lips to your knuckles with a charming smile. His blue eyes took you in as he leaned back against the rear of the couch. You were a stark contrast to Constance’s proper and domestic appearance. You were wearing a pair of tight white capris and a gingham blouse that you had tied in a knot just above the waistline of your pants.

You gave him an appraising look of your own. He was relaxed in a cream linen suit. His soft chestnut waves slicked back from his face as he gave you a smirk. He had an air of easy allure about him that made you uneasy.

You didn’t trust him a bit.

“So nice to meet you, Charles.” You murmured as he stared at you.

“Y/N!” Merricat came tearing into the receiving room and leapt on you, wrapping her arms around you in a desperate embrace and making you laugh. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much!”

“Mary, you’re being incredibly inappropriate.” Charles was no longer smiling as he watched your young student chatter at you giddily, her hands and knees smudged with dirt from the garden.

“Please, it’s fine.” You grinned at him as Merricat shot him a poisonous glare over her shoulder. “I’ve brought you some new books Merricat, ‘Transcendental Magic’ and several encyclopedias of poisonous plants of the United States and Canada.”

“Oh, thank you!” Merricat ran her fingers over the book covers lovingly when you handed them to her. “Will you join me in the woods to look for some of these?”

“Dear girl, I would love to. But first I need to bring in my suitcases and unpack.” Constance was still beaming between the two of you as her sister opened the book on magic and started to read. Charles looked incredibly disapproving though, and that made you smile for some reason. “I think it’s a little too late for us to venture out tonight anyways, so why don’t you help me bring in the rest of my things, and tomorrow we can make a whole day of it! We’ll bring a picnic and everything!”

Merricat grinned at you before she ran off to put away her new treasures, taking the steps two at a time.

“You shouldn’t encourage the girl.” Charles mumbled under his breath, scowling at you.

“I think it’s lovely how Merricat light’s up whenever Y/N is here.” Constance started to say, but her words died off and her smile took on a certain strain as Charles turned his disapproving gaze to her.

“Exactly what harm is she doing?” You asked, turning to the man with a tired expression. “The girl is exceptionally bright, and I refuse to stifle her. She could be turning that energy into something far more destructive if she isn’t given a proper outlet.” You murmured, shooting a knowing glance at Constance.

“Very well.” He grumbled. “Just make sure she’s washed up for dinner. Constance has made us a lovely meal, I won’t have the girl spoiling it.”

You considered questioning Constance about her cousin once he left to work his way up to his room, but she just gave you another smile and turned to head to the kitchen and finish her preparations. Merricat came bursting through the front door then, looking slightly comical as she tried to maneuver your two cases at once. You hurried to assist her and the two of you headed up to the guest room.

Once you reached the guest room, the two of you set to unpacking your things.

“When did your cousin arrive, Merricat?” You asked as you hung up some of your dresses and she arranged your makeup and perfumes on the vanity.

You saw her shoulders tense when you mentioned Charles. Jonas had followed the two of you and was winding his way through Merricat’s legs. She picked him up and held him close to her chest.

“He came here unbidden and is most unwelcome.” She whispered harshly as she avoided making eye contact with you. “I believe he is making Uncle Julian sicker, and he intends to take Constance from me.”

You stood up to embrace the girl, hoping to soothe her. You smoothed your hands over her hair as she buried her face in your chest.

“Dear girl. Are you sure about these things?” She was incredibly overprotective of her remaining family members, but you couldn’t deny the man made you uncomfortable too.

She just nodded into your shoulder.

“Well, we’ll just have to do our best to make sure he leaves then, won’t we?” You tipped her chin up to face you and she gave a small smile of relief. “Now, I’m going to take a bath before dinner, you should get cleaned up as well. We don’t want to arouse any suspicions.”

She gave you a serious nod and scurried off to her room as you went to run yourself a bath. You chewed the inside of your cheek nervously as you began to undress, considering the best way to go forward.

You joined the family downstairs an hour later, and again felt Charles’ eyes lock onto you. He was considering the differences between you and Constance, once more. Constance had changed into a lovely pale blue chiffon dress for the meal, while you had again chosen an outfit that could well be considered scandalous; a long-sleeved black satin cape-cod sheath that hugged you tightly. He was leering at you over his glass of wine as you entered the dining room.

You heard Merricat hiss when she pushed her Uncle Julian into the room, and deduced that her cousin was wearing one of her father’s suits. He had also placed himself at the head of the table. You gave a heavy sigh as you took your seat across from Constance, in between Charles and Julian. You gave the girls’ uncle a smile and polite greeting as Constance poured you a glass of wine.

“This looks wonderful as always, Constance.” You tipped your glass to her and gave her a small smile of appreciation before raising it to your lips. The poor woman was doing her best to ignore the excessive tension in the room, beaming at everyone seated around the table.

“I’m so glad you like it, Y/N. I made sure to make you some green beans amandine, I remembered that it’s your favorite.”

“It is, it’s so sweet that you remembered.” You praised her, sending her into a fit of tittering. “So, Julian, how are the memoirs coming?”

You smirked into your drink as the man started going on about the night of the murders. You could sense Charles tense up once he started talking and turned your head just enough to catch a glimpse of the muscles in his jaw tense up as he took a swig of wine.

“That’s enough.” He seethed, slamming his glass back down on the table and taking a deep breath to recenter himself. His smile had a certain strain to it when he lifted his head again. “Let’s talk about happier things.”

“Oh, of course.” You murmured. “Merricat, how are your studies going?”

You saw his knuckles grow white as he gripped the edge of the table.

“Oh, I’ve learned six new spells since I last saw you, the first…”

“No.” He looked at you frustratedly as you threw a wink to Merricat, making her giggle. “How about we just, enjoy our meal, hmm?”

You shrugged at him and took another sip of wine before tucking into your dinner. Constance was such a wonderful cook, it was easy to lose yourself in the food. Everyone had a clean plate before long, and you stood to help Constance and Merricat clear the table.

“No, Y/N, you’re our guest, I don’t want you doing any work during your visit with us. It wouldn’t feel right.” Constance scolded you. “Please go join Charles and Julian in the lounge for some after-dinner drinks, oh, and maybe some dancing later, wouldn’t that be lovely?”

“That does sound lovely.” You turned to walk to the lounge but when you arrived, only Charles was there, pouring himself a glass of sherry. “Where’s Julian?”

“Julian decided to turn in for the night.” He told you as he focused on pouring his drink. “Did you want a sherry?”

“Yes, please.” He handed you a small glass and you took a sip, giving a hum of appreciation when the sweet liquor hit your tongue. “Constance is such a wonderful cook, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, Connie’s great.” He chuckled, turning to face you. You felt your hackles rising as he leered at you, his eyes roaming over your body with no reservations as he gave you a wolfish grin. “So what’s your story sweetheart?”

You narrowed your eyes at him but Constance chose that moment to enter the study, and he put up his charming façade again.

“My goodness, I didn’t realize how late it was.” She said, grinning at the two of you. “Will you think any less of me if I retire early? I feel like such a bad hostess.”

“Constance, please.” You gave her a soft look of reproach. “You need to take care of yourself, darling. Please rest, I’m sure Charles and I can find some way to entertain ourselves.”

“Yeah, go to bed, Connie.” Charles gave her a grin as he moved to refill his drink.

You shifted yourself as Constance turned to go, moving towards the desk slowly as you listened to her footsteps going up the stairs. You shifted a letter opener under your palm as you leaned back, waiting to hear the click of Constance’s bedroom door before you started talking again. You heard the click and turned to face Charles, tossing back all of your drink as a look of malice came over your face.

“Alright asshole, what’s your fucking game?” You seethed at Blackwood, sneering at the look of surprise that came over his face.

“Excuse me?” His accent slipped as he tried to recover, and you knew you had him.

“You come in here, zero prep, and manage to raise the hackles of these morons in what, a week?” You were furious, this man must be some kind of special idiot. “I’ve been working these fools for 2 years, asshole, I swear to god, if you ruin this for me…”

“Listen, bitch, I didn’t realize someone was already latched onto this teat.” You could tell he was pissed now, too, but you didn’t care. “But maybe, the fact that you haven’t gotten anywhere in 2 years means this just isn’t for you. I’ll do you a favor and cut you in for 10 percent once I get access to the safe.”

“The safe?” You covered your mouth so that your laughter wouldn’t carry. “You idiot. No wonder that stupid fucking kid is so worked up. You’re working a short-con on them? This is not going to go your way.” You were shaking with mirth.

He growled and slammed his glass on the bar cart, jostling the bottles dangerously. He was snarling as he closed the distance between you and wrapped a hand around your throat, pressing himself into you so hard the desk rattled. You brought up the letter opener and pressed it against his neck in warning, making him hiss.

The two of you stilled when you heard footsteps above you. You just stared at each other, panting heavily as you waited. The footsteps stopped suddenly, and you sighed in relief as you heard the creak of Constance finally climbing into bed.

“Listen dumbass,” You whispered at him, digging the blade into his neck to accentuate your point. “This is my score. I actually did my research, I ingrained myself to that brat, I fucked the damn simpleton, you think you can just waltz in here with that shit-eating grin and take it all away from me, you are very mistaken.”

He snorted at you, “Jesus, why would you fuck Julian?” he had slotted one of his knees between your thighs and started to edge up the hem of your skirt as he moved even closer to you.

“What?” You were doing your best to ignore the way your body was reacting to being in such close proximity to him. “No, the other simpleton, Connie. What, you haven’t?”

The look of surprise on his face was satisfying and annoying at the same time. You rolled your eyes as he released your throat and gave you an appreciative look.

“Well, fuck, sweetheart. You’re full of surprises.”

“Yeah, right.” You were tired of this. “Alright. We’re both to far into this now for either one to back out without arousing any suspicion. So, we’ll split it.” You pressed the letter opener into his neck when he scoffed at you. “Or, I could just cut your throat now, tell those two gals you assaulted me, and keep it all to myself. Which would you prefer?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Fine.” He spat at you. You had the upper hand for now, but he could find a way to get rid of you eventually, he was sure. His face split in a grin suddenly. “Y’know, we should consummate our little agreement in some way. Make it official.” He moved his hands behind you and pressed you into him roughly, making you gasp when you felt him grind his erection into your hip. “I can make you feel better than that stupid bitch did.” He moved a hand up the inside of your thigh until he was cupping your heat through your panties, groaning when he found you soaked.

You bit your lip as he ran his fingers over the sopping fabric of your panties, teasing them against your throbbing clit. You kept the blade against his throat as you rocked into his hand, begging for more friction.

“You wanna consummate it?” You gave him a wicked grin as you slowly withdrew the letter opener, tutting softly as a thin line of blood rose from his skin when it left. “Get on your knees.”

He pouted at you, that wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for. You shook your head and brought the blade back up to his neck swiftly, with a click of your tongue.

“Look at that, already not holding up your end.” You scolded as he eyed you warily.

He just grumbled at you as he sank to his knees, digging his fingers into your thighs and drawing them apart slowly. He hooked his fingers underneath the sides of your panties and drew them slowly down your legs. You withdrew the blade from his neck and set it aside as he latched his palms under your hips and pulled you to the end of the desk, running his freshly shaven cheek over the smooth skin of your inner thigh and inhaling your scent.

You broke eye contact when you felt him breathe against your entrance, thrusting your hips forward to drive yourself into his mouth as his tongue flicked out to taste you. He dragged it over your slit in a heavy stripe that had you panting with need. You ran your fingers through Charles’ hair and gripped tightly, drawing him closer to you as he moaned against your core.

“Fuck.” You murmured as you fell back on your elbow, screwing your eyes shut as he thrust his tongue into you, curling it inside your canal. “Charles.”

His fingers were gripping your thighs so hard above your stockings you were sure there were going to be bruises tomorrow. His lips brushed softly against your folds as his tongue lapped up the evidence of your arousal greedily, making you moan.

You felt him release one thigh and bring his fingers to stroke over your slit as he disconnected his mouth to give you a wicked grin. “You need to be quiet, doll. All we need is you blowing the whole thing when I make you cum.” He plunged two fingers into you and curled them in a beckoning motion and you collapsed against the desk with a thud, writhing into his hand and whining softly.

You shoved your fist into your mouth and bit down on your knuckles when he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked gently, making your back arch off the desk. He chuckled as he felt you clench around his fingers and he increased the pressure on your tiny bud, sucking even harder as your body rolled underneath him.

“That’s right sweetheart, cum for me.” He curled his fingers one more time as he latched onto you and that was that. You sobbed into your hand as your spine curled, every muscle in your body going rigid for just a beat before you were trembling in bliss, your release gushing over Charles’ chin as he kept fucking his fingers into you while you rode it out.

“God, darling, that was something.” He grinned down at you as he rose to stand between your legs, watching you shiver as aftershocks wracked your body. You looked sinful with your skirt bunched around your waist and your cunt on full display. One of your stockings had come loose from your garter belt and was starting to slide down your thigh. “If we’re gonna have an even partnership though, I think you owe me something.”

He bent over you and pressed his mouth to yours possessively, shoving his tongue between your swollen lips and probing the warm cavern of your mouth as he wrapped one hand around the back of your neck. His other hand started traveling underneath your back, searching for the buttons to undo your dress.

“Alright, fuck this.” He withdrew his hand from beneath you and started fumbling it around the desk searching for something. You gasped into his mouth when you felt the cool silver of the letter opener press against your chest, but he just drew in down in a quick slash, tearing open your dress and the thin lace of your bra until your breasts were exposed.

Charles watched the rise and fall of your chest hungrily as he rose above you, wrenching his tie and jacket off before starting to undo the buttons of his shirt. You reached down to undo his belt and whipped it off through the loops before working on the buttons of his pants. He stepped back when you had finished your work to slip out of his shoes before sliding his slacks down his legs and tossing his shirt aside.

He started tracing his fingers over your thighs lightly as he stepped closer, nudging his tip against your pussy and making you whine. Charles just chuckled as he teased you, one of his thumbs rubbing right next to your slit before withdrawing it again.

“Maybe we should renegotiate, doll.” He pressed the head of his cock into you slowly before dragging it out again. “I bet you’d give me anything right now just to get me to fuck this sweet little cunt.”

“Fuck you, Blackwood.” You hissed at him before it devolved into a moan as he brought up a hand to palm at your breast and you felt the sensation echo in your core as you clenched around nothing.

He lined himself up and clapped his palm over your mouth before spearing into you violently. You screamed into his hand and felt tears leak down your cheeks as another orgasm ripped through you and your shuddered as he began to fuck into you like a madman.

“God, this pussy is so tight, doll. So fucking warm and ready for me.” He kept his hand over your mouth as he bent to trace a bead of sweat that was trailing through the valley of your breasts with his tongue, moaning at the salty taste of you before mouthing softly over the slope of one breast to lave his tongue over your nipple. He laughed against your skin as he felt you clamp around him, your hips thrusting to match his as you neared another release. “You gonna be quiet if I move my hand, darling?” You nodded and sucked in a ragged breath when he removed his hand.

His hand moved underneath your hips and tilted you just slightly as he buried his face in your neck, sucking softly at the hollow behind your ear. You dug your nails into the muscles of his back when he brought his hand between the two of you to rub his fingers against your clit.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum again.” You whispered, tossing your head back and arching into Charles as you felt a warm coil tightening in your stomach.

“Be quiet about it.” He hissed at you, pressing his cheek to yours as he continued rutting into you.

You dipped your head and sank your teeth into his shoulder as your pleasure took hold of you and you heard him swallow a shout as you fluttered around him, your legs holding him to you tightly.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He growled in your ear, bringing up one hand to brace himself against the desk and stare into your eyes. “God, I’m close, darling. You got one more for me?”

You smirked and shoved him off you roughly, making him stumble back and land heavily on the settee. You crawled into his lap and sank onto him with a hiss, grinding into him slowly before you started fucking yourself on his cock.

Charles leaned back and gripped your hips tightly, guiding you as you impaled yourself on his length over and over. You picked up the pace and he groaned as he watched your tits bounce with each thrust of his hips. You braced a hand on his chest as your eyes fluttered closed and you bit at your bruised lips. One more drive of his hips had you collapsing on top of him, your pussy strangling his cock as he fucked you through it. Your body rolled against him as he turned your head to kiss you deeply.

You felt his hips stutter and suddenly you were flooded with warmth as his seed shot into you, thick hot ropes of his spend filling you up and leaking out around his cock as he groaned into your mouth.

The two of you laid there for a bit, panting as you waited for your breathing to regulate. You were the first to move, standing over him and trying to think of some way to cover yourself long enough to make it to your room, eventually deciding to just pull the ruins of your dress over your shoulders and hope for the best. You smirked down at Charles as he started to sit up, his cock coated in a mix of your releases and his skin flushed. His perfectly coifed hair was now falling into his eyes in sweat-soaked curls as he gazed up at you through his thick lashes.

“I think this is the start of a pretty great partnership, darling.” You teased him over your shoulder as you headed back up to your room, leaving him to clean up the lounge on his own.

Not my gif

A/N: Surprise!! Our reader is a bad, bad girl! We’ll see what sort of other trouble she and Charles get up to!

#natalie writes #fanfic #fanfiction #charles blackwood #charles blackwood x reader #charles blackwood x you #charles blackwood x y/n #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #seb stan #we have always lived in the castle #twist ending #smut #seb stan smut #eighteen plus

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rawiswhore · 4 years ago

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Various Actors x Fem Reader- “In My House”

Imagine if 2020 was a year when we didn't have the Corona Virus and social distancing.

Because if it didn't have that virus, then this music video would be released...

You're a popular singer who released a new song and music video one day before Thanksgiving 2020.

This song was for the soundtrack for a movie set in the 1960′s, 1966 to be exact.

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP" is easily the biggest #1 song of 2020, but your new single and music video released one day before Thanksgiving might make people forget all about "WAP".

The video might go even more viral than "WAP", you'll find out why.

In the video, as the music starts to play, it starts off with you walking down a hallway dressed in a short, silky black bathrobe.

In the hallway, Timothee Chalamet is standing by one of the doors in the hallway, leaning his back on the wall, dressed in a silky suit and his hair flouncy, looking the way he looked when he appeared on Ellen DeGeneres' talk show at the end of 2017 with Armie Hammer.

This is your (or rather, my) favorite Timothee.

You slowly sauntered up to Timothee to the beat of your song, trying to look as sexy and seductive as possible to him.

The camera shot to Timothee, smirking at you trying to seduce him.

Before the words you sang in this song began, you stopped when you were standing right in front of Timothee, putting your hands on his face.

When the words to the song you sang began, you lipsynched to this song, your face so close to his.

Timothee arched his head back and closed his eyes while you were leaning your face and your body close to him.

Your lips were in front of his lips, your breath touching below his face.

Your lips were nudging into his lips while you lipsynched this song, your lips fumbling and muttering in between his lips.

Sometimes your lips buried and nudged into his slender neck, whereas his hands were on your bathrobe, looking like he wants to shed your bathrobe off.

One of your hands slid from his face to behind his head, where your fingers laced and buried themselves through his tousled hair.

You couldn't resist running your fingers through his hair.

Your other hand, however, was caressing up and down the bare part of his chest not covered by a dress shirt.

After the camera blurred out the image of you and Timothee making out, the camera then cut to Julian Sands looking the way he did in "Yeh Ballet" and "The Painted Bird", dressed in a long sleeve white button down shirt and slacks being held up by suspenders, one of his legs sprawled out across the couch while he holds a scotch glass.

Even though Julian is nowhere near as hot as he used to be, like in "Boxing Helena", "Husbands and Lovers", "Impromptu" and "Warlock II", he's still pretty sexy, especially when his hair is long.

Emilia Clarke is curled up right next to him, smiling and kissing him on the side of his neck and face, her hair her signature chestnut brown, whereas a blond Wendy James from Transvision Vamp circa 1989 is standing behind him and the couch, her arm running down his chest.

The camera then cut to you completely naked, sitting behind a chair with your legs wide open, albeit the chair was concealing and covering your nudity, not showing your breasts and vagina.

You were sitting in that chair Christine Keeler style, this image was meant to replicate that iconic image of Christine.

Sitting in front of you on the floor was Sebastian Stan, looking the way he did when he was interviewed sitting next to Sharon Stone, my favorite Sebastian.

He was smirking and smiling at you while you naughtily grinned at him, your elbows propped across the top of the chair.

When you started "singing" again, after the first 2 verses and sentences, you leaned down into your chair until you were lying on the floor and the chair fell down with it, your arms and elbows censoring your nipples from being shown, your hands on the carpeted floor.

You were lying on the floor in between Sebastian's legs and thighs, and not just that, but crawling behind you was Timothee Chalamet, who cupped and covered your breasts, his palms and hands concealing your nipples.

Tom Hiddleston was sitting on the floor next to the chair you previously were sitting in, Tom looked the way he did in "Return of Cranford".

You lifted one of your hands off of the carpet and placed it behind Sebastian's head, your fingers laced and buried through his hair, your eyes looking up at him.

You leaned your face close to Sebastian's face, your lips nudging into his lips, which then cut to you and Sebastian kissing each other, your eyes as well as his eyes closed.

The video then cut to Sebastian smothering his lips on your front neck, whereas Timothee was nudging his lips on the back of your neck, moving your hair behind your neck out of the way.

Tom crawled over to you and leaned himself into you, pressing and smothering his lips on the right side of your neck.

You were leaning your head back, resting it on Timothee's shoulder, as Sebastian was burying his face into your neck.

While this was going on, was sitting in a leather armchair, Michael Fassbender was watching what was going on with you, Seb, Timothee, and Tom, wanting to join in.

Michael looked the way he did in "Steve Jobs" when he had brown hair and wore that long sleeved white button down shirt.

As the instrumental music was playing, the video cut to various parts of the room, filming JJ Field with short hair while Ksenia Solo and Imogen Poots are surrounding him, trying to shed him out of his clothes.

Imogen and Ksenia have the ends of their hair swept up and have their hair in thick bangs, looking 1960's.

When the 3rd verse of the song began playing, you were lying on the carpet naked with your arms up, whereas Henry Cavill was hovering over you, straddling your lap, he was dressed in a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a pair of slacks held up by suspenders.

His hair was cut short and he looked the way he did on Sherlock Holmes.

This isn't my favorite Henry, I prefer him as Geralt of Rivia, but this is meant to be a music video set in the 1960's, 1966 to be exact.

He was holding a 60's Polaroid camera in front of you, this moment was meant to be a recreation of an image from the 1960's of David Hemmings, a photographer, hovering over Verushka, a German supermodel in the 60's lying down.

When you laid naked on the floor, the camera filming this as well as Henry were trying to conceal and cover up your nudity, not show your bare naked breasts.

The camera then cut to you lying naked on the floor, although it filmed you from above your tits so your bare breasts won't be shown.

You actually put your index finger in your mouth in an attempt to look sexy.

You rose up from the carpeted floor, where Henry leaned himself back a bit.

When you rose up from the carpeted floor, you put your hands on both of his shoulders, your arms cleverly concealing his nudity.

You proceeded to sexily and slowly crawl closer to Henry, making him lounge on his elbows while he lays on the carpet and put the Polaroid camera down.

When Henry was lying on the carpet now, you were lying on top of him, his lips were smothering the side of your face.

Your hands were gripping and grasping onto his suit.

This moment where you lie on top of Henry while he kisses the side of your face was modeled after Madonna in the "Justify My Love" music video.

This music video and song was modeled after Madonna's "Justify My Love" song and music video, minus the crossdressing and lesbianism.

When the chorus played again, the video jumped to Wes Bentley sitting on a couch, you were straddling his lap completely naked, your breasts pressed against his chest to not show any nipples.

Plus, the video was filming you on your side so it won't show your buttcrack.

Wes looked the way he looked in "American Horror Story", minus having someone's face behind his head and top hat.

This is my personal favorite Wes.

His button down shirt was buttoned all the way down, your hands slid on his bare chest.

One of your hands slid from his chest to behind his head, where you let your fingers run through his hair.

Wes had one of his arms wrapped behind you, pulling you into him, where he buried his face into your neck, kissing your neck.

Your head leaned back and your face was in an orgasmic state.

Now you see why this video will blow up even more than "WAP" and make people forget about that song/video?

This video is every woman's sexual fantasy: it's got Tom Hiddleston, Sebastian Stan, Timothee Chalamet and Henry Cavill, men who've all blown up in popularity because of their looks and sex appeal and have fangirls obsessed with them.

Just look at how popular of a show "The Witcher" is.

Though, those fangirls will want to ring your neck and send you death threats after this video because they're jealous of you.

#timothee chalamet #sebastian stan #tom hiddleston #henry cavill #wes bentley #2020 #2020s #fanfiction

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thelostboys-rp · 4 years ago

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New characters!

The muns’ minds are always busy with new characters so here’s an introduction to the characters you’ll be seeing in our stories or have already come across them.

Lance Emerson

Face claim: Julian McMahon

Born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, Lance’s childhood was comfortable and filled with privilege. His mother was the COO (chief operator officer) of a corporation, and his father a traveling businessman—both came from well-to-do backgrounds. Lance was the first-born son out of five children and was the clear favorite. Living in a gated community, he attended the most prestigious private schools the country had to offer. Money was never an issue for him or his siblings, but he was well aware that his parents gave him the biggest allowance of them all, and he had more freedom to do whatever he wished. He developed an aggressive and superficially passionate charisma that drew people to him like moths to a flame. This gained him plenty of followers who admired his sharp wit and business perception that he learned from his parents.

Rory Hawthorne

Face claim: Jensen Ackles

The biological brother of Leon, Rory was only five years old when he lost his life. Both boys carried the skin-walker gene, but only one of them would be allowed to embrace it; the other had to die.

Rory's young soul was sent to Purgatory, when he was forced to quickly adapt to a strange, dark world where only the strong survived. After much running and hiding, Rory came across a collective of monsters, lost souls like him. They took him under their wing and taught him how to fight. During this time, Rory was able to adapt to his surroundings and develop his own, unusual powers. The rage he felt toward his own brother had never left him, and thus created malevolent energy within. While his physical body died at the tender age of five, his spiritual body grew into adulthood.

Mason Sawyer

Face claim: DJ Cotrona

Mason Sawyer was second in command up until the moment Dick Roman met his end by a group of hunters, this sprang Mason forth as the Leviathan’s new Master and leader. He quickly established his dominance over the other Leviathans and began his master plan to convert all humans into livestock for the Leviathans to slaughter and eat.

AJ Frog

Face claim: Chandler Riggs

Number Thirteen is a dhampir, and the biological son of Alan Frog. Having been developed in a secret lab unknown to Alan, the child was created as part of a eugenics experiment by vampire hunters who desired to create the ultimate weapon against the undead. Raised in a sterile underground bunker, the boy was the thirteenth attempt at creating life and the only one to survive past the first year of his life.

Eris

Face claim: Draculangelica/Angelica Rose

The goddess of strife, chaos, and discord, Eris is the essential “shit starter” and queen of grudge holding. Compared to all the gods and goddesses, she is among the least liked, given the hostility and negativity that arise every time she’s present. She delights in people’s misery, regardless if they’re considered good or bad; she chooses no sides, only her own. The only time she is every truly happy is when people are miserable. All arguments, no matter how big or small, stem from Eris. Her need to start trouble sparked one of the greatest wars in ancient history which saw the destruction of Troy during the Bronze Age, and it started off with Eris being snubbed.

Rachel Benton

Face claim: Nikki Reed

Born into the criminal underworld to a family of assassins, Rachel grew up learning how to fight and kill early on. She also learned about her heritage as a werewolf, but all of her family members refused to give into "the curse" and discouraged her from allowing the nature of the beasts to consume her. While maintaining their human form, she and her family were still much stronger and faster than normal humans. They were also capable of killing others without triggering their true forms. On her sixteenth birthday, Rachel was recruited by a rival crime family to be their personal mercenary. Unable to resist the wealthy temptation they offered her, she left her family without a word.

Belladonna Alexander

Face claim: Darya Goncharova

Belladonna was orphaned as a young girl after the deaths of her loving parents by the Roman Catholic Empire.As a child she ended up a prisoner and became the Roman Catholics King’s Sorceress. She was a kind, headstrong, caring, brave, and extremely attractive young woman with a slender, voluptuous build, and average heart, gray eyes, the lightest skin complexion, and long straight black hair.

DJ X

Original actor: Seb Castang

Alternate face claim: Ian Somerhalder

Xavier was born in 1452. As Xavier grew up, he was taught the many painful ways to torture a human when they were to be put to death. When reaching legal age Xavier took on a job of being an executioner. In a lot of ways, you would think one wouldn’t get pleasure out of preforming these kinds of acts out on another human being, but Xavier did. Xavier enjoyed his job to the fullest and would sometimes suggest new ways that one could be punished. Many people including Xavier’s parents thought of Xavier as a cold sadistic human being because after each person he executed he was known for always having a sick looking smile on his face.

Chanel Dixon

Face claim: Loren Gray

At the age of fourteen Chanel began running various hustles on random people for money. It wasn’t something she was proud of, but to kept food in her stomach she had to do what was necessary. Her mother and father were always strung out on various types of drugs – to stoned out of their minds to even remember they had a teenage daughter who was practically starving to death because of their drug addictions.

Caroline Fox

Face claim: Candice King

Caroline was a popular girl in school, the captain of the cheerleading squad. Always organizing the parties and always displaying a high degree of leadership among her friends. Beautiful and chic, she was also extraordinarily strong and determined, much like her mother. She was extremely loyal and protective of her friends. She had a sensitive and loving nature. Despite having a confident exterior and high social prestige, underneath it all Caroline was very insecure and neurotic which often tended to make her an overachiever at times, creating flaws and complexities within herself, leading to various matters that factored into her development as she worked to overcome them.

Cassidy Quinn

Face claim: Elizabeth Olsen

It was several years into their perfect Santa Carla life when everything changed. Twelve-year-old Carson was babysitting a seven-year-old Cassidy and a group of rabid vampires attacked. They were playing outside just after dark even though Cassidy had been telling Carson that they needed to go inside, but he was hell bent on them staying outside. It turned out he was being mentally influenced by the creatures watching them from the woods. These were not normal vampires – they were more like wild animals. By the time the attack was done, both kids were seriously injured and had lost a lot of blood. Thankfully, Cassandra has come home not too long after the vampires had run off and she called an ambulance to try and save their lives.

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uneminuteparseconde · 5 years ago

Text

Des concerts à Paris et alentour

Juillet 04. Cat Power + H-Burns (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 04. Bernardino Femminielli + Jean Redondo + Thi-Léa – Café de Paris 05. Klimperei, Sacha Czerwone, David Fenech, Denis Frajerman & Christophe Micusnule – Chair de poule (gratuit) 05. Illnurse bnb BLNDR + Soul Edifice b2b Kuss + Herrmann b2b Primitive + Paris Acid Boys b2b Society of Silence – La Plage de Glazart (gratuit avant 22 h) 05. Pantha du Prince + Scratch Massive (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 05. I Hate Models (dj) + Derrick May + Jardin + Mount Kimbie (dj) + Oktober Lieber + Rodhad + Mor Elian + Olivia... (The Peacock Society fest.) – Parc floral 05. The B-52's – Olympia 05. Ancient Methods + Die Selektion + Ideal Trouble – La Machine 05. Marc Acardipane + Ida Engelhardt + Radium + Wixapol + Parfait – Concrete 05. Laurent Garnier (fest. Days off) – Belvédère|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 05. Canari + EggS + Quinzequinze + Os Noctambulos + Casse Gueule + Enablers + Enob + Le Singe blanc + Frustration + Keruda Panter + Make-Overs + The Psychotics Monks + Deux Boules vanille (fest. La Ferme électrique) – La Ferme électrique (Tournan-en-Brie) 06. Jonsi & Alex Somers jouent "Riceboy Sleeps" (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 06. Helena Hauff b2b DJ Stingray + Jon Hopkins + Motor City Drum Ensemble + Len Faki + Robert Hood + Octavian + The Black Madonna + Clara! + Nicola Cruz... (The Peacock Society fest.) – Parc floral 06. Inhalt der Nacht + Marai + Munsinger + Felicie – La Station 06. Héron cendré + Marie Klock + BIP3 – péniche Thabor 06. J Mascis – La Maroquinerie 06. Ol' Timey Mesenger + Famille Grendy + Fleuves noirs + Yachtclub + Lèche-moi + The Scanners + Le Sacre du tympan + Bruit noir + Zombie Zombie + Dick Voodoo + Fumo Nero + Le Réveil des tropiques + La Jungle + Tonn3rr3 (fest. La Ferme électrique) – La Ferme électrique (Tournan-en-Brie) 07. Jonsi, Alex Somers & Paul Corley : "Liminal Soundbath" (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 07. Ministry + 3teeth – La Machine 07/08. Thom Yorke (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 08. Gossip – Salle Pleyel 08. Melvins – La Plage|Glazart ||ANNULÉ|| 09. Noir Boy Georges + Periods + Les morts vont bien + Corps (fest. Restons sérieux) – Supersonic (gratuit) 10. Francky Goes to Pointe-à-Pitre + Pratos + ToutEstBeau + Dune Basement (fest. Restons sérieux) – Supersonic (gratuit) 11. Pogo Car Crash Control + Mss Frnce + Baasta ! (fest. Restons sérieux) – Supersonic (gratuit) 11. Full of Hell + The Body + Pilori – Gibus 11. Flamingods + Warmduscher + Triptides (Garage MU fest.) – La Station 11. Otto Von Schirach + Curse ov Dialect + DJ Atabat – Espace B 11. Setaoc Mass + VTSS + Opal – NF-34 11. Masada + Sylvie Courvoisier & Mark Feldman + Mary Halvorson quartet + Craig Taborn + Trigger + Erik Friedlander & Mike Nicolas + John Medeski trio + Nova quartet + Gyan Riley & Julian Lage + Brian Marsella trio + Ikue Mori + Kris Davis + Peter Evans + Asmodeus : John Zorn's Marathon Bagatelles – Salle Pleyel ||ANNULÉ|| 12. Carambolage + La Secte du futur + Entracte Twist + Order 89 (fest. Restons sérieux) – Supersonic (gratuit) 12. Tomaga + Утро + Tôle froide + Society of Silence + Sharif Lafrey + Elzo (dj) (Garage MU fest.) – La Station 12. Pierre Chinaski + Little Animal + In My Head – L'International 12. Planetary Assault System – NF-34 11>13. Kraftwerk (fest. Days off) – Philharmonie 13. Miel de montagne + Raymond Amour + La Pince Monseigneur + Amazone (fest. Restons sérieux) – Supersonic (gratuit) 13. The Will Gregory Moog Ensemble (fest. Days off) – Le Studio|Philharmonie 13. Chloé & Vassilena Serafimova : "Sequenza" + Apparat (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 13. La Récré (Garage MU fest.) – canal de l'Ourcq 13. Metz + Bo Ningen + Ashinoa + Die Ufer + Panstarrs (Garage MU fest.) – La Station 13. Hot Bip + Nam Shub of Enki + Bill Vortex + Wankers United + Full Quantic Pass + Jean Turner + Mechanical Heaven + Paroi + Sinead O'Connick Jr. – Jazz Y Jazz 13. Karenn + Casual Gabberz + D.Carbonne + Rendered + The Mover + Tim Tama + Attention Deficit Disorder + Freddy K + James Ruskin + Ascion + Bleaching Agent + Darzack + Hemka + Kotzaak & dj Skinhead + Lars Huismann + Damoclès + Demian + Dersee + Felicie + Herr Mike + Koboyo & Jarod + Scry & Theophiluss – Studio du Lendit (Saint-Denis) 14. Daniel Higgs – Chair de poule 17. Grand Blanc – Safari Boat 18. Neurosis + Yob – Bataclan 19. Domotic + Tiger Tigre + Tite – Espace B 19. Illnurse + 74185# + Stefano Moretti – tba 20. Arnaud Rebotini joue "120 Battements par minute" + Hot Chip (dj) – Grand Palais 20. Inner City + Kevin Saunderson – La Clairière 20. Kerri Chandler + Recondite + Rampue + Konstantin Sibold + Kiasmos + Red Axes + Be Svendsen + Christian Löffler + Oceanvs Orientalis + Jan Blomqvist... – Le Kilowatt (Vitry/Seine) 23. Treponem Pal + Jail + THINK + Komah – L'International 24. Léonie Pernet + Arandel (dj) + Toh Imago (dj) – Safari Boat 25. Ayarcana + [KRTM] + Anthro – NF-34 26. Inhalt der Nacht b2b Echoes of October + SNTS + Falhaber + Keepsakes + Monsieur Nobody + Shirin + Van Der Wiese + Yannøu (Thunder fest.) – La plage de Glazart 27. Ventre de biche + Marie Klock + Arthur de Bary – L'International 27. CJ Bolland b2b D. Carbone + Endlec + Injected + MSKD + Paramod + VCL (Thunder fest.) – La plage de Glazart 27. Anetha + Sentimental Rave + Fjaak + Parfait + Spfdj – tba 27. Rrose – La Machine 28. 138 + Animal Holocaust + CRDN + H880 + Mørbeck + Oposition + Protokseed + Vortek's (Thunder fest.) – La plage de Glazart 30. The Oscillation + LVOE + Anx Club – Supersonic (gratuit) 31. Chloé – Safari Boat ||COMPLET|| Août 01. Thou + Yautja – Gibus 01. Femina Bergs + Joey Molinaro + Evil Moisture – Le Zorba 01. JacidOrex + Axel Picodot + Miss Djax – NF-34 02. Sarin + Tryphème + Sina XX – La Machine 02. Boston 168 + Lacchesi b2b Kuss + Irenee b2b Scry + Jarod b2b Koboyo + Remco Beekwilder b2b Nur Jaber (Duo fest.) – La plage de Glazart 03. Bernardino Femminelli + Arcangelo + Belec + Biola + Inner Lakes + Lamusa II + Sense Fracture + Scardanelli + Divna Mami... – La Station 03. 999999999 + Illnurse b2b Herrmann + Alchemical System b2b B.a.ba + Théophiluss b2b Charlie Oohlala + Stranger b2b Charles green (Duo fest.) – La plage de Glazart 04. Under Black Helmet (Duo fest.) – La plage de Glazart 08>11. Deena Abdelwahed + Officine + December + En attendant Ana + A Strange Wedding + Avventur + Cuften + Poupard + Legion 808 + Hystérie + Summer Satana + Flore + Graal + KX9000 + Myako + The Homeopathics + Meuns... (Fest. Qui embrouille qui) – La Station 08. Clouds + Stephanie Sykes + Nico Moreno – NF-34 15. Ghost in the Machine + Aligment + Niki Strefi – NF-34 17. NOFX – Élysée Montmartre 18. The Driver – But Mortemart|Bois de Boulogne 23. Lumerians + El Gran Chuffle + Santa Dogs – Supersonic (gratuit) 23. The Cure + Eels + Jeanne Added + Johnny Marr + Süeür... (fest. Rock en scène) – parc de Saint-Cloud 23. Jenny Pickett + Enerzion + Solar Return + Julien Heraud + Cambia + Teniang + Jokilla (Electropixel) – Le Zorba 25. Aphex Twin + Foals + Deerhunter + Le Villejuif Underground... (fest. Rock en scène) – parc de Saint-Cloud 26/27. Patti Smith – Olympia ||COMPLET|| 28. Arnaud Rebotini – Safari Boat ||COMPLET|| Septembre 05. Oh Sees + Frankie & The Witch Fingers (20 ans du disquaire Born Bad) – Bataclan 06. Frustration + Arndales + Ero Guro + Bracco + Succhiamo + Maria Violenza (20 ans du disquaire Born Bad) – La Station 06. The Horrorist + Kobosil + VTSS + Airod + Félicie – La Machine 07. Le Prince Harry + Exek + Entracte (20 ans du disquaire Born Bad) – Point FMR 07/08. Vitamin X + N0V3L + 11Paranoias + The Rebel + 7Occvlta + Roy & The Devil's Motorcycle + Harry Merry + Holliday INN + Années Zéro + Chevignon + La Secte du futur + Hippie Diktat+ ZOH/astre + Pow! + Pile + Pious Faults ... (fest. Frissons acidulés) – Théâtre de verre Co-Arter 11. Crack Cloud – Petit Bain 12. Blawan – NF-34 13. La Colonie de vacances – Le 104 13. Blackmail + Bruit noir + Gontard + Bay – La Maroquinerie 14. Clan of Xymox + Plomb + Je t'aime – Gibus 14. Danny Elfman & le Grand Orchestre d'Ile-de-France : cinéconcert sur "Alice au Pays des merveilles" de Tim Burton – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 15. Efrim Menuck & Kevin Doria – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 18. The Wedding Present – Petit Bain 18. Lust For Youth – La Boule noire 18. JC. Satàn (Safari Boat) – Jardin Tino-Rossi/Quai Saint-Bernard 18. Mùm – La Maroquinerie 19. Black Midi – La Boule noire 20. Spiral Stairs + Canshaker Pi – Olympic café 20. Michel Cloup duo + Troy von Balthazar – Petit Bain 20. Alien Rain b2b Regal + Headstrong + Parfait b2b Illnurse + Remco Beekwilder b2b Raffaele Attanasio (Dream Nation fest.) – Dock Eiffel (Aubervilliers) 21. Surgeon + Regis + AnD + Dj Pete aka Substance + Lady Starlight & Anthony Child + Inoxia aka Myako & Basses Terres + Oko Dj b2b Tryphème (Redbull Music Fest.) – tba 21. Tieum + Shifted + X-Pander + Rebelion + Zadig + Luke Slater... (Dream Nation fest.) – Dock Eiffel (Aubervilliers) 23. The Foreign Resort + Seventeen at this Time + Trancept – Supersonic (gratuit) 23>25. John Cale – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 24. Drab Majesty + SRSQ – Petit Bain 25. Rudolf Eb.Er, Dave Phillips & Alice Kemp : Schimpfluch Affiliated Actions – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 25. Dälek + L'Envoûtante – Petit Bain 26. Burial Hex + Les Chasseurs de la nuit + Common Eider, King Eider + Visions – Les Voûtes 26>27. Onceim joue Éliane Radigue + Thomas Ankersmit + Léa Bertucci + Hubbub + Martin Tétreault + Mohammad Reza Mortazavi + Pancrace (fest. Crak) – église Saint-Merri 26. Wayne Hussey – Bus Palladium 27. Noseholes – Espace B 29. James Murphy + Colleen "Cosmo" Murphy + Vincent Privat + Seb le vinyl (Redbull Music Fest.) – Péripate Octobre 01. Emma Ruth Rendel – Petit Bain 01. Sleaford Mods – La Cigale 04/05. Blush Response b2b Thomas P. Heckmann + Dave Clark + Rebekah + Regis + Tommy Four Seven b2b Ancient Methods + ABSL + AZF + Dax J + DVS 1 + Marcle Dettmann + Poison Point + Anetha b2b Randomer + Ben Klock + Andrejko + Amato & Adriani + Bassam + Boston 189 + Charles Green + Dersee + DJ Bone b2b Ben Sims + Fabrizio Rat + Felicie + Louisahhh b2b Maelstrom + Newa + SHDW & Obscure Shape + Thomas P. Heckmann + Tripeo b2b Hemka (Pulse fest.) – Le Grand Dôme (Villebon/Yvette) 05. Nuit de l'orgue avec des œuvres d'Éliane Radigue, Arvo Pärt, Olivier Messiaen, Phillip Glass, Nico Muhly, Jonathan Fitoussi... (Nuit blanche) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie (gratuit) 06. Daughters – La Maroquinerie 06. Quator Bozzini joue : "Occam Delta XV" d'Éliane Radigue, "Five String Quartets" de Phill Niblock et "Koan" de James Tenney – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 08. Sleep – Bataclan 09/10. Ty Segall & Freedom Band – La Cigale 11. Kazumoto Endo + Spore Spawn + Vomir + Autocastration – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 11. Birds in Row + Lane (Jimi fest.) – Théâtre Antoine-Vitez (Ivry/Seine) 11. New Order – Grand Rex ||COMPLET|| 12. Ben Shemie, John McEntire & Sam Prekop – Petit Bain 14. King Gizzard & Tle Lizard Wizard – Olympia 14. Shannon Wright – Trianon 15. Kate Carr + Valérie Vivancos – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 17. Puppetmastaz – Trabendo 18. Dream Syndicate – Petit Bain 19. Sisters of Mercy – Bataclan 19. Juan Atkins + Vril + Ceephax Acid crew + Antigone + Onur özer + Fasme (Le Champ des machines) – Le Ferme du Buisson (Noisiel) 19. Pixies + Blood Red Shoes – Olympia ||COMPLET|| 23. Four Tet – Le 104 25. A Certain Ratio – Petit Bain 26. The Monochrome Set – Petit Bain 29. Agent Side Grinder – La Boule noire 30. Oiseaux-Tempête + Jessica Moss – La Maroquinerie 31. Skepta + Mura Masa + Hamza + Zola + Ateyaba + Celeste + Duendita + Ezra Collective + Flohio + Kojey Radical + Master Peace + Slowthai + The Comet is Coming + Yussef Dayes (Pitchfork fest.) – La Grand Halle de La Villette Novembre 01. Chromatics + Belle & Sebastian + Primal Scream + Weyes Blood + Barrie + Briston Maroney + Chai + Desire + Drugdealer + Helado Negro + In Mirrors + Jackie Mendoza + Nilüfer Yanya + Orville Peck + Sheer Mag + Squir (Pitchfork fest.) – La Grand Halle de La Villette 02. Charli XCX + 2manysdj (dj) + Aurora + SebastiAn + Aeris Roves vs Jamila Woods + Jessica Pratt +Kedr Livanskiy + Korantemaa (Pitchfork fest.) – La Grand Halle de La Villette 08. Bedroom Community – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 08. Boy Harscher – Trabendo 10. Amiina : cinéconcert sur "Fantomas" de Louis Feuillade – Le Studio|Philharmonie 10. Ôlafur Atnald + Hugar – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 10. Fontaine D.C. – Bataclan 14. Girl Band – La Maroquinerie 15. Kap Bambino – La Gaîté lyrique 15. Chemical Brothers – Seine musicale (Boulogne-Billancourt) 17. Nitzer Ebb – La Machine 19. Earth – Petit Bain 23. Billy Childish (fest. BBmix) – Carré Bellefuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 24. Midori Takada (fest. BBmix) – Carré Bellefuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 24. The Young Gods + Les Tétines noires – La Machine 26. Wardruna – Olympia Décembre 01. Motorama – La Maroquinerie 06. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Koyaanisqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 07. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Powaqqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 08. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Naqoyqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 12. Mono + Jo Quail – Petit Bain 2020 Janvier 04. Rokia Traoré + Ballaké Cissoko & Vincent Segal – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 29. Rendez-Vous – La Cigale 31. Tindersticks – Salle Pleyel Février 13. Ride – Le Trianon 16. Orchestral Manoeuvre in the Dark – La Cigale 24. Sleater Kinney – Le Trianon Mars 07. Ensemble intercontemporain joue Steve Reich : cinéconcert sur un film de Gerhard Richter – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 20. Ensemble Dedalus joue "Occam Ocean" d'Éliane Radigue – Le Studio|Philharmonie 21/22. Laurie Anderson : "The Art of Falling" – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie Mai 08. Max Richter : "Infra" + Jlin + Ian William Craig – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 09. Max Richter : "Voices" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 10. Max Richter : "Recomposed" & "Three Worlds" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 24. Damon Albarn – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie en gras : les derniers ajouts / in bold: the last news

#agenda concerts #concerts à Paris #gigs in paris #paris gigs

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vertigoambrosia · 7 years ago

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previously, on shotgun: andy was the worst, aj was king shitstirrer, and ilja and walter are awesome

i think aj convinced jay fk to go bad; i noticed on insta they’ve been travelling together (or at least aj and jay have) and i fully believe he is a Bad Influence

still so weird that they didn’t make the first rounds something like lucky/tko, julian/juvenile x, ivan/viet and marius/mikey

i guess they wanna show off the guys we haven’t seen and keep ivan & julian for other plot stuff...but at the same time like...seeding? it’s a thing?

NOSE TOUCHING

ahahahaha assholes bond by being assholes to each other

lmao the duck thing is so random is he trying to make some pun?

alternatively, andy has now decided to teach

WELL HELLO LOSERRRR

ok mella is the best when she’s just being fucking obnoxious

omg melanie and lufisto are great together

WOAH LUFISTO LET’S NOT SAY THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE

ok i very much like this veit promo; it’s nice to have context for new guys coming in

*mikey voice* all u need to know is that i’ll throw some hands

and beer

mike schwarz is a lot shorter in person than i thought

also he suffers from bad pants; i don’t like the cargo pants but i remember a while ago he used to have the garbage bag looking pants

i guess there aren’t a ton of options for him

veit’s singlet is prime nip slip design

HOLDING HANDS, DANCING AROUND

ok the audience guy holding veit the first time totally had hand on titty

he covered his nipple!

that’s a weird finisher

previously: seb fucked up

*dragan voice* hey emil how are you doing also go fuck yourself

still do not like this storyline

in general i never like when wrestling gets too...real about serious emotional stuff

it’s kinda like how the dakota kai/shayna bazler thing was uncomfortable cause it was too real? like, instead of just feeling ‘dakota is very intimidated’ you actually start feeling it real life wise, like ‘someone needs to do soemthing!’

as a better example: remember bernstein from wrestling deutschland? his whole ‘i like neat clean things and the wrestling world is full of gross messy people’ is cute and funny, but like...if they were like ‘bernstein has ocd’ it wouldn’t be funny?

there’s a difference between taking a few characteristics and using them to make us laugh for sympathize, but if they’re like ‘lol ocd’, that’s a real serious thing that is uncomfortable as entertainment (or should be)

like, there are certain responsibilities if you are portraying depression and one of them is a seriousness that i don’t really want to deal with in my wrestling

the mental strife shouldn’t feel bigger than the wrestling world; in wrestling, eventually everything is solved by winning matches,a nd we all know that’s not how serious illness works

wonder who his next opponent is...probably one of the new guys? or mikey?

i’ve seen juvenile x wrestle before but i kinda just...don’t feel him

idk he’s kinda generic? which especially stands out in wxw

tko looks like a fuckboy to the point where i can’t root for him

the crowd seems to not like juvenile x tho; if he acts all heel that would be fun

i can’t understand what they’re chanting at him :(

...is his face on his butt

oh this erotic spot

and this silly handholding

also juvenile x’s trunks look like there’s duct tape hanging off them or something

nooo fuckboi won; let’s hope lucky beats him next week

previously: boo these boys

i want that to become a chant against them

lmao pete is so incapable of wearing shirts

also umm christian this is almost definitely gonna end in a fistfight idk if this was the best plan

...what?

no backstag attacks? this is wrestling!

ugh i donm’t understand 3 way tags!

‘ummmm we forgot the belts lollll’ literally the only way they wouldn’t have monster consulting beat them up with the belts

that was a short ep!

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peterpparkrr · 8 years ago

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(Eva Mohn x Reader): Do you want to make out? (2/3)

Summary: Reader is a penetrator and at the charity party Eva starts hitting on her. Now it’s after the party and things get intense

A/N: So I kept this going because I’m kind of obsessed with Eva (apologies for spelling and grammar)

Part 1 // Part 3

After Eva finished vomiting you had led her back into the party, cleaned her up, and then found her friends.

As you watched her friends gingerly lead her out of the party to go home you turned around only to have Chris appear at your side, “So, what’d you think? She’s pretty good, isn’t she?” He asks.

“What?” You reply, as you turned to face him, confused as to what he was talking about.

“Eva.”

“Oh, we didn’t hook up.” You reply, “She was drunk.”

“That’s never stopped you before.” He commented, raising an eyebrow, taking a sip of his drink.

“First of all, those girls kiss me first, second of all, Eva might actually be gay so I’m not going to fuck it up by kissing her when she’s about to vomit.”

“Awkward,” He comments before looking around, “Have you seen Will? I want to go home but I think he wanted a ride to his place.”

“Last I saw he was a little...preoccupied.” You reply, smirking, “He was making out with the first year- the one that he’s been trying to get with.”

“Good for him,” Chris replies with a grin, “I’ll head out then, do you need a ride home?”

“No, I’ll just walk since it’s not too far.” You reply.

."Hey! (Y/N)!" An unfamiliar voice shouted as you walked down the sidewalk. You turned around, confused as to who would be trying to catch up to you, you thought most of the guys had already left the party.

When you turned around you saw two guys you didn't recognize walking towards you. Your stomach clenched but you willed yourself to not freak out, they were probably just guys from the party you’d forgotten about.

"What?" You asked, keeping your voice calm and even.

"You're (Y/N), right?" The same guy asked as they got closer.

"Who wants to know?" You asked, crossing your arms across your chest.

"The Yazukas." He replied before stopping right in front of you, his face inches away from yours.

Your stomach dropped. Any false sense of confidence was gone from your face. The Yazukas had been causing trouble for you and the other Penetrators for a few weeks, starting fights with the group or jumping guys from your school.

"Well, that's me, what do you want?" You asked, willing your voice to not shake.

"We need you to send a message to William Magnussen." He replies.

You could tell the guys are trying to be intimidating and rather stupidly decide to taunt them, "I can text him if you want," you offer with a small smirk, "maybe an email?"

"That's not the kind of message we meant." He replied as he took yet another step towards you.

Once you realized what was about to happen your hands immediately flew up to block him as he tried to punch you in the face. The other guy came around and grabbed you by the shoulders and threw you to the ground.

You cried out as you feel the side of you face make harsh contact with the cement. Then one of them starts kicking at your stomach as the other squats down at turns you face towards the dark sky before punching you in the nose.

"You tell William Magnussen that next time we'll make sure you can't walk away." He spits in your face as you blink back tears at the searing pain as you feel a warm wetness starts to cover your face.

The duo started to walk away and once you can't hear them anymore you shakily reach into your pocket and pull out your phone. It's slightly cracked in one of the corners but not too worse for wear. You unlock it and pull up your contacts and shakily hit the call button next to Will's name.

"Hello?" You hear him groggily on the other line when he picks up.

"Will?" You say softly.

"Are you okay? You sound like you're crying," he responds after a brief pause.

"I'm on Uranienborgveien near the park, can you -um- come and get me?"

"What happened?" He asks you.

You sigh, not wanting to get into it yet, "Please just come and get me, I'll explain it then."

"Alright, give me a few minutes." He said before hanging up.

You put your phone back in your pocket and decided it was time to assess the damage.

You sat up and could already feel a dull, aching pain in your stomach, signaling that you'll have a nasty bruise across your abdomen tomorrow. You then lifted you hands up to your face where you felt something warm and sticky, causing you to realize that your nose was bleeding profusely now. You felt further up and immediately pulled your hand away realizing that you had a cut all the way from above your eyebrow down to your cheekbone.

As you waited for Will you vainly tried to wipe the blood off your face.

When you saw his car pull up you stood up shakily and he quickly stopped and hoped out.

"Jesus Christ, (Y/N), what happened?" He asks, his voice doused in concern as you walks over to you.

"It-it was two of the Yazuka guys." You told him as he lifted you chin up so he could get a better look at your face, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

William shakes his head, "You have nothing to be sorry for, they did this to you."

"They also said that it was a message...for you...he said that next time I wouldn't be able to walk away." You add, glancing down at the sidewalk, not being able to bear looking him in the eyes.

"I'm going to fucking kill those guys I-"

"Please stop," you said, cutting him off as you pressed you hands into the sides of your head.

"Shit, sorry, let's get you back to my place and clean you up." He said, leading you back to his car.

When you got back to Will's apartment he sat you down at his kitchen table and got to work cleaning you up. Once you were no longer covered in blood Will finally sat back.

"Shit (Y/N), I'm so sorry." Will muttered, pulling you into a hug

"It's not your fault. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm the weakest link in the group."You reply, squeezing him tightly.

"That's not true-" He starts.

"Yes it is, I'm the smallest, I’m the girl, I kind of have to be." You reply with a small shrug.

"I'm going to call the guys to let them know what happened." William says as he pulls away from the hug and pulls his phone out of his pocket.

"Please don't," You say, not wanting everyone else to be worried about you too.

"(Y/N), have you seen your face? That's not going to be gone by Monday, they're going to find out." William replies with a furrowed brow.

"Fine,” you mumble, getting up and walking over to couch in his living room, "I'm going to sleep." You announce as you collapse onto the couch gracelessly.

The best morning you woke up with a groan, you'd been so tired you hadn't had any trouble falling asleep but how you could feel the pain of what happened the night before catching up with you.

You groggily got up stretched before making your way into William’s kitchen before starting to make breakfast - it was the tradition you had every time you stayed over at Will's house since he woke up so late and you woke up so early.

The smell of the waffles you were making must have woken Will up because he stumbled out of his room with a happy grin on his face.

"You know you just got beat up right? You don't have to make me breakfast." He jokes as he sits down at the table.

"I'm not making you breakfast, these are all for me," you replied with a smirk.

"All of the guys are really worried about you, a few want to come over today and check in on you," he tells you as you set his plate down in front of him.

"That's fine,” You reply, “if it'll make them stop freaking out."

You figured that before the guys came over you should try your best to clean yourself up as much as possible and not smell to ripe so you hopped in the shower.

When you looked in the mirror you could see that the cut on your face looked pretty bad still and you were developing a black tinge around one of your eyes, probably from the punch to the nose.

After you got out of the shower you grabbed some sweats from Will's room and put them on.

You padded out into the living room with wet hair to find some of the guys were already here.

"(Y/N)! God you look awful," Chris said as he came up to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

"You too," you reply, shooting him a look as he lets you go.

"How are you doing?" Seb asks from where he’s sitting on the couch with William, Julian, and Theo.

"Not too bad, I'm a little sore but I'm fine." You reply, walking over and slumping down on the couch.

"No you're not, look at that giant cut and your black eye." Theo comments.

"It looks way worse than it actually is." You reply, fiddling with the too long sleeves of Will’s sweatshirt you’re wearing.

"I knew we shouldn't have let a girl into the group." Julian says.

"Um, last I checked half of you guys have gotten jumped by those guys too, plus, who would manage the bus?" You shoot back, trying not to sound too defensive.

“Well, look on the bright side,” Chris adds as he sits down next to you, “This is going to get you major sympathy from Eva.”

#skam #skam imagine #skam reader insert #skam fanfiction #skam eva #william magnusson #penetrator chris #eva mohn #eva mohnxreader #evaxreader #eva mohn reader insert

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ofmanyworldsarchived · 8 years ago

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FYI.

my starter calls are open to anyone, but i will not roleplay with minors. sorry for any inconvenience this causes, lovebugs.

if you ever want to drop threads/start new ones that’s totally cool but i would love you forever if you let me know just so i can untrack them so that my tracker isn’t always so overcrowded with inactive threads.

UPDATE & TO DO LIST.

starters owed

ocmuses (shippy)

amillixnvoices (shippy)

sevansandco (shippy)

stolideux (kelly severide x toni)

inthequiver (2) - (drunk/cuddly!seb, inverted!jalec)

littlemissredriding (julian albert)

heartfrosted (julian albert)

untracked threads - 8

tracked replies owed - 54

queued posts - 30

inbox memes owed - 78

#i'm trying #[ updates ]

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amorremanet · 7 years ago

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Further adventures in this OC character and relationship playlist-making silliness.

After sleeping on it, I decided to just include Todd’s personal playlist, since it might be more painfully questionable than the fact that Annie has “Down With The Sickness” on hers, but it’s still not worse than the time that I shoe-horned Soft Cell’s “Sex Dwarf” onto an otherwise completely serious and angsty mix just because, “If I can’t use it for Tyrion Lannister, then who else CAN I use it for?” (not an exact quote, but that was the sentiment)

—and somewhat more immediately, I did put a cover of “Skinny Love” on a platonic playlist, so I think I can suck it up and admit that Todd’s musical aesthetic is just very questionable

#ocs tag #that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #conrad hennen #julian x seb #lucy murphy: hemokinetic disaster #lucy x sara grace #margot & seb #sara grace kelley #seb x todd #stephen gardener: precious disaster #todd burroughs: art film disaster #mine: playlist

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edmlifeofficial · 7 years ago

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HYTE Returns to ADE 2017 with Marcel Dettmann, Loco Dice, Ricardo Villalobos, Seth Troxler, Chris Liebing, Pan-Pot, Guti + More

A new post has been published on EDM Life at http://edmlife.com/hyte-returns-to-ade-2017-with-marcel-dettmann-loco-dice-ricardo-villalobos-seth-troxler-chris-liebing-pan-pot-guti-more/

HYTE will be returning for its fourth consecutive year with four events at Amsterdam Dance Event 2017 on October 21st, 22nd, and 23rd at the Warehouse Elementenstraat. The venue’s new 24-hour license will allow for round the clock HYTE events with extended opening hours.

HYTE kicks off on Friday, October 20th from 10pm through 8am with Ricardo Villalobos, Seth Troxler, Sonja Moonear, Steve Rachmad, and Ferro in the warehouse. UK party brand and label, FUSE, will take over the club room with Enzo Siragusa, Archie Hamilton b2b Rossko, Seb Zito, and Rich Nxt. Tickets for this event are unfortunately sold out.

The next party in the warehouse starts at 8am through 10pm on Saturday, October 21st for HYTE’s first ADE daytime event. The lineup for this debut includes Marcel Dettmann, Robert Hood aka Floorplan, Dekmantel Soundsytem, Ryan Elliot, DJ Stingray, and DJ Deep. Tickets are still available here for the launch HYTE’s daytime event.

The party continues on Saturday night at 10pm through noon on Sunday. Artists at the 14-hour party include Pan-Pot, ROD, Marco Faraone, Cuartero, and Wouter S. Regular tickets are sold out for this event as well, but Chris Liebing will perform an exclusive six-hour set that begins at 6am, and tickets are still available here for his long set.

The HYTE ADE 2017 finale begins on Sunday, October 22nd from 10pm through 8am on Monday morning. Desolat label head, Loco Dice, will return to shut down the warehouse. Other warehouse artists include Kenny Dope, Peggy Gou, Guti [live], and William Djoko. The club room will be hosted by label and Dutch party brand SlapFunk Records who will have artists like Samual Deep x Julian Alexander, LockLead, Anil Aras, and POV live. Tickets are available here for HYTE’s ADE 2017 closing party.

If you’re unable to make any of these four HYTE events or want more, HYTE will announce the week of ADE a special afterparty at a secret location.

#ADE #ADE 2017 #Amsterdam #Amsterdam Dance Event #Amsterdam Dance Event 2017 #chris liebing #guti #Hyte #HYTE Returns to ADE 2017 #HYTE's first ADE daytime event #Loco Dice #Marcel Dettmann #Pan-Pot #Ricardo Villalobos #seth troxler #Warehouse Elementenstraat

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claudiahimsa · 7 years ago

Note

for the ask game: 4,13, 27, 35, 48, 53, 69, 71, 86 and 99 please? x

Thanks for asking, anon! I’ll put the answers under the cut, it’s a long post

4 - do you like your name? why?

I’ve always hated it when I was younger but it’s grown on me and I actually quite like it now, especially with my middle name so it’s Claudia Juliane

13 - any siblings?

I’ve got one older brother, he’s turning 30 next month and one half-brother but I’ve only met him once so I don’t really know him, I think he’s in his mid-thirties?

27 - do you have a job? what do you do?

I’m a full-time post-grad student and I’m working for nutritionfacts as a volunteer translator but I don’t have a proper paid job at the moment, no

35 - who is your celebrity crush?

I wouldn’t call it a crush but I’d lay down my life for Sebastian Stan, he’s literally an angel and the most beautiful soul in the entire universe (I’ve got a whole blog dedicated to him so if you’re into Seb and Captain America, follow me here)

48 - who is your role model?

I don’t really have one, there are so many inspiring people out there it would be hard to just pick one person that has it all

53 - opinion on smoking?

heck to the fucking nope, cigarettes are Disgusting™ and should be banned everywhere, why do people even do that to themselves? (weed’s fine though)

69 - do you play an instrument?

yeah, I started playing the piano when I was 5 and I got lessons for over 10 years but we sold it when I moved out so I haven’t actually played in a while

71 - tea or coffee?

I looove the smell of coffee but I can’t stand the taste so definitely tea

86 - what is your phone background?

I tried to find a link but Google couldn’t find anything, it’s a minimalistic white background with some black at the bottom that looks neat with a white iPhone, I’m not a fan of colourful distracting wallpapers, I want to see the apps and stuff

99 - what is your zodiac sign?

I’m an aquarius and if you’re into astrology, read some aquarius personality traits, they’ll tell you exactly who I am as a person, it’s incredible

#i love getting asks #thanks again anon

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amorremanet · 7 years ago

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Well, today, I slapped together several playlists about my loser nerd OC’s and some of their relationships, and was reminded in stereo of just how painfully questionable my taste in music sometimes is. ………Yay?

#todd's playlist has been redacted because it is objectively the most questionable #and considering that annie has 'down with the sickness' on her playlist THAT REALLY SAYS A LOT about how questionable todd's playlist is #………also i ran out of space in the photoset because i'm not magicking together a way to post 19 screencaps right now #i'm tired and it's silly and even making it 18 by continuing to redact todd's does not make me more inclined to do the thing #ocs tag #that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #antoinette chamberlain #dylan mckellar #josie quinn: empath disaster #josie x pete #julian richter #margot gabriel: chainsmoking disaster #pete arden: dramatic disaster #pete x seb #sebastian moncrieff: mutant disaster #seb x stephen #mine: playlist

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amorremanet · 8 years ago

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OC asks/questions: 8, 15, 21, 25, 32? Also if that's not already too much: finish the sentence meme for Lucy?

Okay, I did intend to do the finish the sentence meme, but as it stands, it’s almost 4AM and I’ve been binge-watching old Outside X-Box list videos to stay awake, so…… I’ll get back to that one

8: What’s the most common physical characteristic of your OCs? What about personality trait?

Physically, a lot of my OCs are ridiculously tall. I blame having my concept of average human heights skewed when I was a child, due to having several ridiculously tall relatives, and then having my ideas further skewed in my adolescence by a mix of shoujo and magical girl anime/manga (where the hottest characters, like Tenou Haruka, or designated love interest characters, like Chiba Mamoru and Kashino Rei, the “troubled but cute” pretty boy from MARS, are tall), and the Vampire Chronicles (where most of the vampires are tall, beautiful, and incredibly gay or bisexual)

Personality-wise, “troubled but cute” is probably my most overused character type. Even more specifically, “troubled, but cute, and they have a good heart, they’re trying their best, but they’re still troubled and sometimes (often) make incredibly bad decisions because I felt like it would be a fun time to make them do so”

15: Do you have any AUs? — Short answer: yes. Longer answer: yes, and some of them are going to be canon, because I have the self-restraint of a magpie, and figured that…… eh, whatever, screw it, I’m nixing several of the other more credulity-straining and ridiculous elements of the by-its-very-nature ridiculous and credulity-straining superhero genre, so I can have a canon multiverse if I please. Which I do, because it’s fun. For me. Anyway, some of the canon AUs are:

The AU where most of the major points are still the same, but also, Silent Hill. Not that it will actually be called, “Silent Hill” because of blah blah copyright, but I primarily got the idea of, “horrible demonic monsters conjured out of people’s guilt and psychological issues” from the Silent Hill series, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t.

Also, unlike Silent Hill proper, the nasty pieces of work in this universe do not have the decency to just stay confined to one small town in Middle of Nowhere, Maine. They’re everywhere.

Anyway, some of the characters from this AU get dragged into the prime timeline (tentatively) in book three, as part of a Totally Brilliant (not really) scheme by a handful of the fascist supervillain douchebags to distract that annoying ragtag band of misfit anti-fascist heroes from the actual evil plan going on. Nobody is happy about this.

Especially not when some of the monsters decide to join in on the universe-hopping fun-times. Whoops.

The AU where a lot of the major points are more or less the same, but human technology is more advanced and, in keeping with some of the more idealistic mid-20th century sci-fi concepts, while our cast in the prime timeline are dealing with neo-fascism and shit, humans in this AU are getting welcomed into It’s Not The Federation From Star Trek Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued, But It Is Basically The Same Idea, and dating aliens.

Pete’s AU counterpart got into what is basically an alien university’s MFA program in theatre. He’s the first Terran to do so, period. He has an alien boyfriend, he has never been to rehab (though, uh. He’s still an addict. And still using. So, there’s that), and his prime-timeline counterpart is going to initially think he’s pretty awesome, and progressively get super sick of basically everything about him.

The AU where Seb, Pete, Stephen, Josie, and Todd are essentially a boy band. Because of reasons. Anyone who gets dragged into the prime timeline from this AU is going to be really confused by literally everything else, because this AU is probably the closest one to how our own universe works, so like…… Imagine that you abruptly get yanked into [pick a superhero comic book universe], after a lifetime of believing that it’s all, “just stories.” It would be confusing and more than a bit alienating.

Which is not to say that this AU is all rainbows and kittens or whatever, but the problems facing the main cast are things like, “Everyone in the band has to be closeted because there’s still homophobia and transphobia,”

“Pete and Josie have probably never gotten treatment for their respective eating disorders, and Stephen may well have developed one from the fact that, boy bands are generally not allowed to have fat members, which would also mean that he’s ridiculously unhealthy since his body’s happy, healthy place? Just so happens to be fat,”

“On one hand, Todd and maybe Pete have probably never had substance abuse problems. But on the other hand, Seb still has and it’s probably very seriously exacerbated by several factors,” and so on.

Which isn’t to say that those things aren’t important and complicated problems, or that the prime timeline characters DON’T have to deal with similar things just because they’re in a superhero world (since…… they DO have to deal with those things or at least very similar ones)

But there’s a pretty significant difference between things like, “trying to stay clean” and, “trying to prevent a bunch of neo-fascist supervillain douchebags from staging a bullshit fake attack at a debate between potential Republican nominees for the US presidency, which will probably end up killing a bunch of people if it’s allowed to go on, and is part of a longer-running, slow-burn scheme to essentially make this dickbag senator from Virginia the President-in-All-But-Name”

And the boy band AU characters are super-unprepared to deal with the latter sort of problem

The AU where it’s a vaguely cyberpunk dystopia because I felt like it, that’s why.

The AU where instead of superpowers, everyone has magic

Which is going to frustrate Lucy to no end, when she has to meet her AU self from this universe, because sure, this AU has different systems and rules for how the magic works, but no one can tell her what the Hell makes it go aside from, “idk, it’s magic” and that’s not an acceptable explanation to her

—But, as she’s going to hear from someone, this isn’t actually any different from how superpowers work in the main timeline, like? They know that the superpowers are caused by genetic mutations. They can figure out different ways of handling said superpowers and systems of how to approach and understand them……

But if we look at Josie’s telepathy/empathy, Lucy’s hemokinesis, Sara Grace’s super-speed and neato super-voice tricks, Seb’s “they don’t call it lycanthropy but only because that’s already a thing; it’s essentially lycanthropy with a shot of therianthropy, animal empathy, and a healing factor that would make Deadpool jealous,” Yael’s ferrokinesis and magnetism powers, All-Star Doctor Delphi’s status as the resident flying brick with heat vision, Elizabeth’s telepathy/telekinesis, Conrad’s telepathy/mental manipulation, Julian’s empathic abilities and emotional manipulation that can be a super-effective Jedi Mind Trick and then some when used effectively, Sylvia and Vince’s essentially omni-shapeshifting, the fact that Annie can turn her own tears, saliva, and blood into all kinds of fun chemicals (from toxins and acids, to myriad medicines), ET CETERA?

……Yeah, uh. In the end, the best explanation that anyone has for why any of that works, in-universe, is essentially, “Because it just does.”

So… essentially the same explanation as, “A wizard did it,” but it’s pretending to be scientific.

Lucy does not like being confronted with this hypocrisy, but she’s just gonna need to put on her big girl shoes and deal with it.

The AU where I don’t actually have most of the details about it worked out, but in the prime timeline’s December 2007, it abruptly became the new home of All-Stars member Penumbra (nee Victoria Brandt) and supervillains Dr. Neutron and Necrotara. They all got dumped in it when Penumbra stopped them from unleashing a super-plague on New York City… by opening up a rift in space-time, throwing them into it, and plunging after them because that was the only way she knew to seal it before it ate New York.

This AU will also get dragged into the prime timeline, though: 1. that’s more of an accident because Titus, Dezi, Eddie, and Tamsin have no goddamn idea what they’re doing and are meddling with forces they can’t control (especially not Dezi and Eddie, who have no powers to speak of and are miserably inept at pretty much everything);

and 2. It’s a bigger deal to the All-Stars than to the main cast, especially to Ruby Marvel (Penumbra’s on-off girlfriend), Zephyr Haze (who really looked up to Penumbra, and she was one of the few team members who believed that he was ready to be anything more than Doctor Delphi’s sidekick), and Slingshot (her on-off boyfriend, who has totally failed to move on from what happened, and if not for Captain Firebrand and Platinum Man revoking his ability to get into R&D without a babysitter, he likely would’ve broken space-time to get Penumbra back years ago)

Like, I’m not saying, “He has handled this like Silver Age Spiderman trying to kill the Green Goblin as vengeance for Norman Osborne murdering Gwen Stacy.”

I’m saying, “Slingshot has handled Penumbra’s effective death like that thing I just said magnified by a power of ten because, as far as he knows, getting her back into the prime timeline could potentially be cataclysmic, and he does not care. He has also spectacularly failed to listen to any and all attempts at getting him to respect her choice here, and the only reason he hasn’t gone full grimdark like a mid-90’s to mid-2000’s Dark Age drama-bomb of toxic masculinity and manpain? Is that he isn’t allowed into R&D at All-Stars Tower without a babysitter.”

However this AU works, Adelaide’s AU counterpart is going to be kind of a mess at getting dragged into the prime timeline, on one hand because her prime timeline self doesn’t have powers but decided to affiliate herself with a bunch of heroes anyway (while dumpster fire AU!Adelaide has superpowers and has been a hero and it’s gone Other Than Well for her), and on the other because her prime timeline brothers are alive and haven’t gotten killed by her supervillain nemeses

Dumpster fire AU!Adelaide is going to be more of a mess over a lot of things like, “On one hand, her little brother lived past 20 and swears he’s got a good life and his boyfriend is nice (yay!), but on the other, he’s a mentally ill recovering addict and also a superhero and for some reason, her prime timeline self is, as far as dumpster fire AU!Adelaide can tell, just okay with this”

And, “Her prime timeline self has a niece who actually knows what it’s like to have a father in her life, because dumpster fire AU!Adelaide’s Max got killed off while Linda was pregnant and Linda is probably a great single mom, but dumpster fire AU!Adelaide wouldn’t know because after Seb and Ambrose had both gotten killed (albeit by different villains), the common theme that emerged was the boys getting killed by supervillains and having a superhero sister, and okay, Linda did not explicitly blame Adelaide (Linda’s feelings about all of this are conflicted and messy)

“—but dumpster fire!Adelaide decided that the best thing to do was to basically cut herself off from friends, family, and loved ones, barring her AU’s Pete, who has become her co-hero, and a dog, because like her baby brother, Adelaide loves dogs and sometimes uses them as a substitute for interpersonal contact and connections”

Prime timeline Addie is seriously weirded out by her AU self’s complete lack of chill. Which says a lot, because Addie-prime actively repels anything that even vaguely resembles chill.

The AU where Margot and Seb didn’t get to be friends in undergrad, and her parents never disowned her, and she wound up filthy rich in her own right and having far fewer near brushes with death…… but also wound up: closeted and basically leading a double-life to keep from getting outed; very lonely; more miserable than she would like to think; and taking more than a few cues from Adrian “Ozymandias” Veidt of Watchmen

—Which is to say that, while she still doesn’t have any literal superpowers, she is deeply closeted and convinced that the only way to save humanity from itself might just need to involve doing something extreme that successfully makes humanity put aside their differences and unite against a perceived larger threat (and also distracts them so that Margot and her loosely affiliated AU associates can, “solve the underlying problems” unimpeded)

As prime timeline Margot will definitely point out: ideas like that literally only work on paper or in theory. In practice, humans are chaotic and messy and impossible to predict with any real accuracy, so there is no possible way to guarantee that killing a bunch of people and blaming it on aliens or whatever will make everyone decide to get along and sing songs underneath of a rainbow like some vintage Coca-Cola commercial.

Oh, and if Ozymandias AU!Margot actually thinks that nobody will notice if she and her cohorts, what, like…… use the world banks to redistribute the world’s wealth and make sure that the 1% can’t get it back (which would include AU!Margot herself and her cohorts, even though most of them don’t know she’s planning to do that), change a bunch of laws and policies they don’t agree with, and institute some kind of secret shadow government over the entire world?

Here’s a hint, Ozymandias AU!Margot: people will definitely notice that, and a lot of them won’t be too keen on letting you get away with it.

Furthermore, not only will people definitely notice that, but it won’t actually fix things as much as you want it to do. It would have some benefits, sure, and some of the ideas you’re trying to put into practice here are not inherently bad — like redistributing the wealth and putting hella restrictions on the same patterns of capitalist exploitation that made you rich in the first place — but one of the underlying flaws in AU!Margot’s approach is that, again, she’s ignoring the human element of everything

In other words: sure, redistributing the wealth is a nice idea and it would definitely have some positive benefits, but you cannot magic away the scars of aforementioned capitalist exploitation by throwing money at them, nor should you expect people who have been exploited, dehumanized, murdered, etc. under said patterns to not be upset about their suffering just because they now have money.

More generally, expecting people to always react in predictable ways is a bad idea. Expecting people to be okay with things that you erroneously think you would totally be okay with, if you were in their position is a bad idea. Behaving like a supervillain, even if you think you’re doing it for the right reasons and even if there might be some temporary short-term benefits? Is a BAD IDEA (especially when your plans have some major, egregious oversights).

Also, ew, Ozymandias AU!self, but out of all the ladies with whom you could be having a secret affair, why the fuck are you having it with your AU’s Melanie Drake (the firstborn daughter of the guy who the prime timeline Biggest Bad wants to put in power as his puppet, who is, herself, an active and enthusiastic participant in fascist supervillain hijinks).

In Ozymandias AU!Margot’s defense, her universe’s Melanie still has the conviction that everything she’s doing is for the Greater Good, but although she hasn’t gotten away from her nuclear reactor meltdown of an abusive shit-show family, she did come to believe in a different vision of, “the Greater Good.”

I mean. The nicest thing that can be said about it is that her vision of, “the Greater Good” isn’t a fascistic one and is, much like Ozymandias AU!Margot’s entire scheme, largely born out of good or at least okay-ish intentions, but really fucked up wrt the execution. But it’s not like Ozymandias AU!Margot is having a secret sexy affair with a neo-fascist supervillain.

She’s…… uh. Having a secret sexy affair with someone else who, in their AU, considers herself to be, “one of the heroes that this world needs but won’t accept,” and both of them are pretty fucked up, morally and ethically speaking, though not so much so that they wouldn’t be horrified by the Melanie of the prime timeline (who is, in fairness, pretty horrific. She’s also engaged to Titus, who is equally horrible but for some different reasons)

Anyway, the point is that Margot-prime super doesn’t expect any Melanie to be the secret girlfriend for any of her AU selves, and she’s really not happy about it, but also biased due to shit like, “Melanie-prime is an actual facts fascist supervillain”

And shit like, “Melanie-prime has hurt Margot-prime’s friends, and no, she doesn’t care that it was always in a superhero vs. supervillain fight, or that Seb has a healing factor, or that Pete accidentally made shit get violent on at least one occasion by running his mouth when he knew that he should have shut up, or that Lucy has run headlong into situations where a little bit of chill could’ve gone a long way and then people started throwing punches, la la la, go away context, Margot can’t hear you, Melanie has hurt her friends And That’s Terrible”

The mundane AU where, in addition to not being superheroes, Seb and Stephen met each other about ten years earlier and were a lot less gun-shy about being super into each other, not least because neither of them had been burned too badly in romance before (even given that they’d both had some negative experiences with it), and while both of them still had some big deal underlying issues with self-esteem, neither of them played any weird little head-games with himself to the tune of, “Oh, I shouldn’t voice my interest because he’s probably not interested in me because reasons, he’s probably just being nice”

On one hand, this AU wound up sparing both of them certain shitty experiences that their prime-timeline counterparts dealt with in their 20’s (not all of them, granted, and like — this AU’s Seb is still a recovering addict, and this AU’s Stephen has still dealt with a ton of bullshit about body image and fatphobia).

But on the other, they broke up and it’s…… amicable? Mostly? But still kind of emotionally tense for several reasons, not least of which is how instead of playing any, “he’s probably not really interested” head-games with themselves at the outset of their relationship and working through it, they were together for a long time, and danced around the idea of getting married…

…but neither of them told the other about wanting to get married because each of them thought that the other would never be into that idea because Reasons. Presumptions were made, miscommunication ensued, they eventually split up, each of them took it as a definite sign of, “I was right, he never would’ve been into getting married,” and they’ve mostly moved on and repaired the non-romantic friendship parts here.

Until they get dragged into the prime timeline and find that their counterparts are significantly more messed up as individuals but actually making a relationship work, but also at a point of, “They’ve been having some issues that have nothing to do with the superhero thing, and each of them is kind of seriously thinking about proposing but keeps getting cold feet about it”

Watching your alternate universe selves get engaged in the middle of a drag show on one of their birthdays is…… special.

Doing so after telling one or the other of them why you ever broke up is…… uh. Let’s just call it, “double special” and move on.

Also, powerless AU!Seb…… will be really conflicted about his prime timeline self being a superhero, partly out of concern (since this hero business seems to be working out okay, but it all sounds stressful and dangerous, and yes, Seb-prime literally can’t get intoxicated anymore — at least, not on any of the, “normal stuff,” i.e., “psychoactive substances that were not created by other mutants” — but…… how is being a superhero NOT a relapse trigger waiting to happen. To paraphrase Joan Watson, how is being a superhero NOT a giant gun filled with drugs and alcohol, pointed right at Seb-prime)

…partly out admiration (because the superhero stuff actually is working out decently, and powerless AU!Seb has to respect his prime timeline counterpart’s hijinks and dedication to helping people)

……and partly out of jealousy and getting kicked in the, “you’re kind of a worthless fuck-up, aren’t you?” feelings

because yes, powerless!Seb has found his own bliss in academia, and he is more or less at peace with it, most of the time……

but he’s torn because he wants to be helping people, and he largely went down the academic track to help himself

—which, in this case, means, “to something to work on and do with himself that wouldn’t feel like a complete waste of time, even if it didn’t exactly make him feel fulfilled, because he needed something to do other than, ‘try to find peace and sobriety by isolating himself from as much of life as possible,’” so it’s not like he is being selfish in a way that actively screws over anyone else; he is being selfish in a way that displays self-preservation—

—and okay, powerless!Seb has a list of things that he tries to tell himself about how this life-choice isn’t antithetical to the idea of helping people because he mentors students, and his research helps in X or Y or Z convoluted fashion, and he uses his access to academic databases to get around paywalls for other people who don’t have that access and to then hook them up with what they need……

But that’s still not the kind of helping people that he wanted to get into and it doesn’t really feel like he’s helping anyone, and it’s a pretty big kick in the stomach for him to get yanked into the prime timeline and see Seb-prime… actively helping other people as a superhero and ostensibly doing better at staying sober because of the superhero thing, rather than in spite of it, and what the fuck, how is this FAIR, how come he can do that and powerless!Seb CAN’T)

Even without the part where Seb-prime literally can’t get intoxicated on, “the normal stuff” anymore, the situation is a lot more complicated than powerless!Seb thinks it is, but in fairness to him, he’s probably only been stuck in this unfamiliar timeline for two weeks, max, when he has this little jealousy-induced meltdown

He probably ends up getting helped to chill out by Stephen-prime, which is its own messy and confusing kettle of monkeys for both parties because of intricate, complicated ontological questions like, “Is it cheating if I don’t actually do anything with my (ex-)boyfriend’s alternate universe counterpart, but feel attracted to him and definitely THINK about doing things with him?”

……The sad part is that all four of these losers WOULD actually make that complicated question, but it would be less because of the actual thorny issues about being and the nature of existence, and more because all of them would have a mental double-standard like, “Well, if I did it, then it would definitely be wrong, but it wouldn’t be wrong if my boyfriend did it because of reasons”

Seb and Stephen-prime may not need to deal with that specific question but the whole underlying, “Things that other people are allowed to do are wrong when I do them because of reasons” business is something they have to suck it up and work on, as individuals and in the context of their relationship

The AU where Josie actually got to go into fashion design, because they didn’t have their entire career ruined before it began by a mix of a douchebag ex-boyfriend whose parents were in good with Anna Wintour, and an abrupt, stress-triggered anorexic relapse that led to an even more stressful superpower awakening

Keeping with the, “mirror mirror on the wall, it’s fuck with my characters o’clock, let’s go…… all” theme among a lot of these AUs and the different respective versions of the characters, fashionista AU!Josie has a lot of things that Josie-prime wants and a lot of aspects of their life make Josie-prime jealous, but they are actually a huge mess in their own right

I’m still working out how, exactly, they are a huge mess, and so far, all I’ve really thought of is that it would amuse me if they were dating their AU’s Todd, but I’m not sure where I want to go with that and it’s also not actually going to be an issue for a while yet, so the idea has time to percolate

and the canonical coffee-shop AU.

The canonical coffee-shop AU is a horrifying dystopia where the bad guys won before most of the main cast were even ten years old — like, that AU’s Lucy and Sara Grace literally have no conscious memories of life ever being any different, they were that young when everything went to Hell — and that AU’s version of Senator Huntington (R-Virginia), the aforementioned Biggest Bad, took a lot of cues from Brave New World about how to run his dystopia

Like, there are several things that he would nix

e.g., the ostensible sex-positivity and alleged sexual equality of Aldous Huxley’s dystopia that is, in its own way, just another way of creating sex/gender-based INequality and blah blah blah

That would go right out the window because as far as dystopias go, wrt sex and the (im)morality thereof? Huntington thinks that Margaret Atwood’s Republic of Gideon from The Handmaid’s Tale had more or less the right idea, though he would also acquiesce that, if you want it to work, you’d need to build up to that, rather than dumping it on everyone all at once

He would also nix some of the more scientific aspects of the BNW dystopia, because he realizes that they’re not actually as likely to work out decently as Huxley seems to have thought in the novel

Like, Huntington would definitely still want there to be several strata of social inequalities that all serve to support a big pyramid that he can be on top of

……but he wouldn’t want to have those things artificially created in a lab because he thinks that sex is the best way to control a lot of the people under his power because even the ones who aren’t “perverts” — which, to him, means basically everyone who isn’t a heterosexual who only ever wants to have sex in the missionary position for the express purpose of procreation — are still “weakened” by their dependence on human connections (read: any desire to have meaningful human connections), and all of them inevitably want those connections to be expressed through sex because they’re all idiots in the end

For the record: Huntington’s attitude about sex is derived from the attitudes of real-world right-wing Christians in the States who love to play the game of shaming anyone who has any sexual desires, ever, because even though they also say that said desires come from God because they’re expressions of love and whatnot, they could just as easily come from Satan if the preacher in question doesn’t approve of them, personally.

The religious aspect only seems pasted-on whenever Huntington talks about any of this because…… Well, for him? It is. He doesn’t actually believe in God, or Jesus, or much of anything beyond his own power and his own right to have whatever he wants because he showed up and decided he deserves it.

Any time he talks about God or religion, he’s merely catering to his constituents by playing a version of himself who DOES believe in God because he’s reasonably certain he would never hold any elected office if he didn’t project the image of being a righteous, God-fearing man who is filled with the love of Jesus. But I digress.

So, yeah. Brave New!Huntington wouldn’t want to have all of his social inequalities baked into the population due to how people are grown in laboratories, but the general idea of, “keep the populace medicated into submission, throw them some bread and circuses and maybe a bit of pasted-on happiness, don’t let them think for themselves but give them the illusion of thinking for themselves, etc.”? Huntington is all about that.

Another reason why he vetoes the, “let’s grow all humans in laboratory test tubes lmao” idea is that he figures he can better play into the idea of all people being essentially equal, which helps keep the populace docile as long as they believe in it, if he lets them handle their own relationships and procreation. Like, regulate it in certain ways, and only give The Gay Agenda (i.e., everyone who isn’t straight) as much wiggle room as will keep them from noticing that equality is a lie, but don’t interfere too much because getting hung up on all that interpersonal drama keeps them from noticing the actual problems

Either way, the canonical coffee-shop AU is a horrid, dystopian hellscape and the main cast’s counterparts in that AU are okay with their lots in life — where, for example, Conrad actually is just a wacky eccentric uncle and not using that façade to try and teach Marie a kiddie version of Why Fascism Is Totally Cool, just in case she ends up being a mutant too, and Julian is a provocateur in that he argues with anyone who tries to sit in His Spot at the coffee-shop, rather than because he uses his platform and charisma to pick at prejudices and stir the pot in ways that incite violence — because they’re all drugged, they’re all being lied to, some of them don’t remember life ever being anything else, and when some of them get yanked into the prime timeline, uh.

Well.

That will be interesting to me, personally, because there’s going to be a lot of disagreement among all involved parties about all of this and what it all means

But ngl, this canonical AU literally started because I was reading coffee-shop AU superhero fics, looking at my own ragtag bunch of superheroic misfits, and going, “God, what WOULD it take for them to actually exist in a coffee-shop AU? Because the conventional coffee-shop AU set-up wouldn’t even allow for any of them to be recovering addicts or abuse survivors, much less actively upset about any injustices in the world (beyond maybe being a Soapbox Sadie type for a scene or two before getting swept up in the inevitable romance that will dominate literally everything about the fic) or affected by shit like homophobia, racism, ableism, sexism, etc. (because if we dealt with those issues, it might not be sexy or romantic, or at the very least, it would seriously distract from the OTP and their amazing love story). The most anyone is ever allowed to be in a coffee-shop AU is pleasantly eccentric or Troubled But Cute With The Emphasis On Cute”

Which is all a long-form way of saying that I came up with an entire canonical dystopian coffee-shop AU in a thought exercise that came out of being tolerant of coffee-shop AUs but also really bored with them and low-key frustrated about their dominance of fanfiction things for the past few years because while I understand the appeal of the escapism that’s inherent in most of them (and there are some that I even enjoy), I find it kind of depressing that so many of them end up being such that you could probably find and replace the names of one fandom’s characters with another fandom’s characters and it would essentially be the same story, and all of the things that drew people to the original stories will be gone while almost none of the problems of the original stories will actually be fixed (—and at that, the most likely, “fixing” is probably going to be, “a white cis M/M otp is injected into things where, in their respective canon, they are Just Dudes Bein’ Bros”)

……Which is a long-form way of saying that I did the thing out of frustration with coffee-shop AUs (and probably a bit because rereading all the classic dystopian lit pieces at once isn’t really the best idea ever, whoops)

21: Describe each of your OCs as shittily as possible.

okay, I did these all out of order, and after going in so hard on the AUs and polyships questions, it’s 3:15 in the morning and I’m just going to phone this in

Sebastian: yes, he’s a human disaster and a serious mess, but at least he’s trying, okay

Pete: local man delivers scathing verbal smackdown and makes you say, “thanks” for the honor

Margot: the mean chain-smoking lesbian with a heart of gold that your parents didn’t warn you about but should have, probably

Josie: local goth makes everyone else look under-dressed, feels bad about things

Todd: hipster garbage who isn’t nearly as underground as he thinks

Lucy: okay but have you guys considered how superpowers could be used to address public health crises

Stephen: the human embodiment of that moment when you get so excited about the punchline of the joke you’re telling that you laugh at it preemptively and can’t finish the joke but hey, at least everyone is smiling now, right

Sara Grace: local ballerina princess will probably never get over her physical inability to cuddle every cat on the planet

Conrad: “hey why are you getting upset i’m just trying to deny your right to be considered fully human unless you fit my specific ideas about what that is lmao”

Julian: sinnamon roll that you bought at a backwoods gas station at three in the morning, then lost on the floor of your car for two years, and now it’s all grody and probably a biohazard

Annie: perpetually screaming, just at life in general

Adelaide: she’s not telling you what to do, she’s just saying that her way is probably better even when it likely isn’t

Yael: is probably your favorite Jewish lesbian grandma, unless you think that she should chill, in which case not so much

Max: had his younger sister be his best man when he got married, out of his depth with most things, *glinting glasses of intimidation*

25: What sorts of symbols/items/~aesthetics~/colours represent each OC?

and it is now 3:30 and I’ve got absolutely nothing for this one beyond the fact that Margot, Josie, and Pete all wear a lot of black

Josie because they’re still something of a teenage goth queen at heart despite being a responsible adult

Margot because it’s both professional and somewhat intimidating, which she likes because she’s compensating for only being 4’11”

and Pete says it’s because he works in the theatre, which isn’t wrong, but even if he didn’t, he’d still wear a lot of black because he thinks it looks good on him (which is fair enough because it does)

Conrad and Max are associated with gray (though Conrad is also associated with white and “that annoying shade of blonde that is very nearly white but not exactly; the Draco Malfoy or Any Given Member Of House Targaryen shade of blonde”)

Sebastian gets a lot of dog associations (partly because he has six of them and partly because he is, as mentioned, essentially a werewolf though that does slightly depend on your definition of, “werewolf”)

and Stephen loves hot pink and eye-searing acid green, sometimes simultaneously

32: Do you have any polyam ships with your OCs?

Well, I already sort of went there in the AUs question, but personally, I would love Seb-prime/powerless!Seb/powerless!Stephen/Stephen-prime — but in general, I always love any and all ships that involve selfcest, whether they’re polyships or not, so I don’t really think this one counts

The polyship that I’ve probably given the most thought to so far is Seb/Stephen/Todd, and ngl, I’ve given it said thought largely due to the fact that……… well.

I wouldn’t call them a love triangle, exactly, but let’s be real: SMeyer and SCollins didn’t want to call Bella/Edward/Jacob and Gale/Katniss/Peeta, “love triangles” either, and while I’d agree that the latter case is a bit more complicated due to how Katniss spends the majority of the series having no interest in either one of the boys involved, the Twilight example is definitely a love triangle, and anyway, my point is that I’m no better than SMeyer and SCollins about going, “Oh, it’s not a love triangle!” because I fear the messy associations that come with accusations of writing love triangles even when I am blatantly doing so

And in general, I do believe in the sentiment of, “Less love triangles, more functional polyamory” — but the, “functional” part of that is a big reason why Seb/Stephen/Todd is not going to canonically go in the polyamory direction. It could, and given the canonical multiverse, there are definitely a few universes where it does

But in the prime timeline, a polyamorous relationship with those three would probably be a disaster — and frankly, a lot of it would be on Todd because Seb and Stephen both also have issues with communicating, self-esteem, honesty (with Stephen’s issue being more that he encourages everyone else to be honest while also trying to at least partially censor his own feelings in the interests of keeping the peace, while Seb’s issue is that he constantly lies to himself to try and convince himself that everything is fine because he feels like he’d just muck up everything for everyone by ever being Not Fine), and a laundry list of other things

But they’re also trying to work on those things.

Stephen is at a better place, wrt self-awareness and working on things, than Seb is, but he’s also been working on it longer and, for all the missteps he’s admittedly had in it because that’s just a part of this process for everyone, he didn’t have to deal with things like, “the aftermath of being kidnapped and shot by ecoterrorist ex-boyfriend who was not happy about getting dumped by a junky”

Or things like, “help, my brother’s unctuous brother-in-law keeps trying to befriend me after I drunkenly sucked his dick at my brother’s wedding reception and unwittingly broke up the marriage that I didn’t know the brother-in-law had, he keeps trying to befriend me despite my vocal lack of interest in being friends with him, also he’s been telepathically fucking with me for about eleven years”

Todd, on the other hand, has the self-awareness of a toothbrush, and that is a massive insult to toothbrushes.

He has worked on SOME things about himself, but usually only to the extent that he needs to work on them in order to feel like he’s doing an okay job on his own sobriety (which, in fairness, he is, but acting like sobriety is his only problem ever is disingenuous as Hell), and he isn’t working on most of his non-sobriety-related problems because, bless his heart, he doesn’t realize that they are problems.

I mean, this is a guy who is going to crash Seb and Stephen’s first morning after by showing up on Seb’s doorstep on a Sunday morning with a bunch of junk from his apartment, going, “Hey, so, I don’t mean to be a buzzkill when you look weirdly happy for once because it’s good that you look happy, I support you being happy, but also I might be getting kicked out of my place tomorrow and may also have been lying to you for several months about whether or not I needed money because I was totally sure that I could get everything figured out and then I didn’t but I didn’t want you to worry or try to pay for everything like a sugar daddy just because you CAN pay for it, and anyway, is one of your spare rooms open and…… oh. Hi, Stephen. ……He’s pretty shirtless for coming over for breakfast, isn’t he. Why are you wearing a shirt and he’s not.”

“Because he wasn’t cooking bacon and I was?”

“…………*slowly puts two and two together and realizes what he’s crashing* Ohhhh. Um. ……I can go bug Pete or Margot—”

“They don’t have room for you at their places—”

“So, can I stay?”

“Yes, obviously, but can we also talk about this? Like, maybe not right now, but in general, there are a lot of things that I’d like to talk about here???”

“………Why? Do you want to, like, charge rent or something?”

“No, god, why would I want to do that to you, but????”

So, yeah.

In fairness, Todd has a lot of good points. But he is also really bad at a lot of the things that you NEED if you don’t want a polyamorous relationship to completely implode — like communication, honesty, self-awareness, etc. — and he’s only going to start working on any of this when he finally realizes that…… oh. He’s jealous of Stephen and has been jealous of all of Seb’s previous boyfriends too, but in most of those cases, he also had some other reason to dislike them

For example: Harry was cheating on Seb with a Julliard violinist (who knew that Harry was also sleeping with Seb, but Seb had no idea that Harry’s violinist friend was his “real boyfriend”);

Francis was an ecoterrorist and admitted as much on their first date (though, as Seb has pointed out to several people, what kind of ecoterrorist actually admits to being one on a first date, so he feels he was justified in not believing Francis here), then shot Seb in the back, after kidnapping him and holding him for ransom in a basement in Ossining, all because Francis didn’t appreciate being dumped, especially not by a junky;

Josh didn’t really see the difference between rough sex and domestic violence, and was inadvertently responsible for Seb being the first family member to show up for the birth of his niece…… because he took Seb to the ER after giving him a concussion that made him seem to lose consciousness during sex (not that Josh stopped fucking him during), and then left him there “because he had something big to handle for work” (i.e., because he didn’t want to be there in case anyone called the cops), and while Seb was going to leave, he happened to see Max and Linda checking in and decided to just stay;

Rémy liked erotic asphyxiation but did not like asking for consent, and also had a thing for giving his partners rohypnol (again, without their consent), and he got away with it with Seb because, by the time they dated, Seb was no stranger to having intoxication-induced blackouts, and it was easy to tell him that he must’ve had too much to drink (and because of the way his half-latent healing factor and toxin filtering handled rohypnol, it was basically impossible for him to tell the difference between that and any of his more usual mixes of intoxicants);

Byron was a supervillain henchman-for-hire and also had a stunning lack of boundaries;

and Julian was mostly just annoying when he and Seb dated, and the worst part, at the time, was that they both tried to be helpful and supportive for each other but actually wound up exacerbating a lot of their respective issues, and now, he’s one of the less-bad exes but only because, “sends drunk texts to a recovering addict and unsolicited dick pics” is clearly on a very different level from, “gave Seb a concussion and ditched him at the ER” and, “literally shot him in the back”

(and then, when his involvement with the baddies comes out, he sort of skyrockets up the list of bad idea exes, but in fairness to Seb here, Julian didn’t get recruited by said baddies until after the second time that they broke up).

So, yeah, Todd has not been short on legitimate reasons to hate a lot of Seb’s boyfriends, and said legitimate reasons have allowed him to avoid dealing with his own jealousy for a while.

The fact that he and Seb have full-on dated before also helped for a while, as did the standing friends with benefits/“it’s complicated” that they’re in at the start of the story…… but see, Todd has always kind of been hoping that this would turn back into romance at some point

See, for all he isn’t self-aware about most things, he’s done enough work on himself to know that he is still in love with Seb (who does reciprocate but has an easier time reading Latin, or Proust in the original French, than he does of knowing what his feelings are doing and being able to verbalize it effectively)

So, Todd’s been leaving their relationship open-ended so he won’t have to feel like he’s tying Seb down to something Seb might not want. The idea that Seb might actually want it does occur to Todd, but he also dismisses the idea as completely ridiculous and silly, all out of some ridiculous idea that of course Seb wouldn’t want to be with him again for real, not until he perfectly self-actualizes in some completely unattainable way (which he doesn’t realize is completely unattainable because, bless his heart, Todd doesn’t get that he will never be satisfied with his ridiculous and ill-defined goalposts on the path to becoming his idea of what Seb’s perfect version of him is)

This is made all the worse by the fact that all Seb wants Todd to be, and all that he has ever wanted Todd to be, is himself.

He has said so practically since their first ever conversation, and the romantic subtext was there for him from the start of it all because when he went up to the cute bespectacled chubby guy in the Pink Flamingos t-shirt after the freshman orientation week meeting of the campus LGBTQ student union, Seb totally meant to ask Todd out.

Unfortunately, he got nervous, excited, an odd and potent mix of tongue-tied and rambling, and overwhelmed by how starved he was to make more friends (seeing as his only friend, at that time, was Pete, who was about an hour or so north, once you factor in getting to Grand Central, taking the Metro North to the right stop, and then either meeting him at the station or getting to his campus)

So, the romantic intentions got rather garbled and turned into a platonic-sounding coffee invitation, and as much as Seb had wanted to ask Todd out, he was okay with this at the time because he was en eighteen-year-old extrovert who’d spent his last two years of high school with only one real friend, who wasn’t even at his school because Pete was already in college, and in a school environment that was so emotionally shitty that his parents saw facilitating his trips down to see Pete and all their weird misadventures in the City not as a special treat but as what they needed to do for the sake of their son’s wellbeing

Either way, Todd misses the, “be yourself, that’s it, that’s all he has ever wanted, you colossal tool” point by a long-shot

So, by the time the story starts, Todd is working (he thinks) on his amazing and totally foolproof plan to become exactly what Seb deserves even if (he maintains) Seb doesn’t realize that he deserves it, Seb feels like there’s no way that Todd is still into him and feels like Todd is probably only hooking up with him until someone better comes along and is a hopeless romantic who’s pessimistic about love but also about most things in general, and their lack of talking about things is a Problem

It’s a Problem that Pete calls Seb out on, though in fairness, he brings that up less as a dig at the relationship and more because it’s part of Seb’s larger problems

But then, as part of his, “I am totally going to get my shit together, yeah!” “““plan””” (read: half-baked notion that he is at least really committed to), Seb decides to ask Stephen out (because Pete was just going down a list of things Seb could work on and one of them was, “Figure out your shit with Todd and either work things out with him or move the fuck on instead of mooning over him like you’re fucking twelve,” and Seb did the impulsive thing to go, “Oooh, look, not mooning over Todd now, am I”)

Seb doesn’t expect it to go anywhere because he doesn’t think Stephen could actually be interested in him literally ever, so he’s trying not to get his hopes up or end up feeling anything — except he does both of those things AND, due to how the events play out leading up to things, Seb’s just realized that he does still have feelings for Todd, and now, he’s not sure what to do and has to figure out his shit

The final nail in the coffin is that Todd, after several weeks of blowing off Seb’s attempts to talk about things (because you don’t need to talk about things if you just pretend they’re fine and stay the course, right?), gives him what is essentially an, “It’s not you, it’s me” line, and because, “It’s not you, it’s me” is so often used to break up with someone gently (including by Seb in different previous relationships), Seb takes it as them being done romantically and decides that they should stop having sex, too, so he can get serious with Stephen.

So, Todd has to live with the fact that he’s the one who opened the door to let Seb get serious with Stephen, and deal with his jealousy, which he can’t get out of at least recognizing because he can’t find a single thing about Stephen that indicates that he isn’t as kind and good as he seems. It’ll be good for him. He gets to grow as a person thanks to fucking this up for himself and unwittingly getting one of his best friends to commit to an actual decent relationship.

Then there’s the issue of Todd and Stephen’s leg of the relationship, but once Todd sorts his shit out about being a jealous little turd, they will actually get along just fine

They will probably end up having a bonding moment where they get laughing about weird or mildly irksome but not troublesome things that Sebastian does, because I love scenes like that

But, still. As a poly ship, I don’t actually see them working out in the prime timeline.

4 notes · View notes

amorremanet · 7 years ago

Note

Sebastian

“ten facts about my characters” meme 

1. The background on his phone is currently El Greco’s 1585 Pieta. He wanted to have a picture of one of his dogs, but then he felt like he was being mean to the other five, so he set it to the late Chewie but that just made him feel terrible because she just passed away in March, so he and Pete tried to get all six of the dogs on Seb’s couch at once but they wouldn’t cooperate, so Seb gave up and picked a painting that he likes. 

(and while Seb and Pete were trying to corral six dogs onto the couch for a family portrait, Margot just kinda sat aside in one of the chairs, reading and casually telling her boys, “This isn’t going to work” and then she got to go, “I told you so” when it didn’t)  

2. Seb loves nicknames, both giving and receiving, but probably his favorite nickname is the one that Pete gave him back in high school,  “Princess.”

He earned that nickname because he was babbling about how princesses are actually pretty cool, and they can get shit done, and Pete was torn between enjoying this and being frustrated because he had to finish writing an essay for class, so he went, “Okay, if you stop talking about it right now, you can be MY princess. Would that make you happy?”

Long story short, yes. It made Seb very happy.

That said, Pete is the only one who’s allowed to call him, “Princess.” Partly, this is because Pete gets possessive of the nickname because he likes having special nickname privileges and Seb likes making his best friend happy.

On the other hand, it’s partly because Seb is used to most folks who aren’t Pete using, “Princess” to refer to him in a more dismissive, if not outright derogatory, way. There are some people whom he’d mostly be okay with using the term, if not for how much Pete likes having exclusive nickname privileges, but most people are not on that list.

But most people will be told, “I’m Pete’s Princess, not yours,” or if they try it in front of Pete, they might get told, “Hey, he’s my Princess, not yours.”

Just…… it’s not your nickname, please don’t use it.  

3. In “your OC’s as text post meme” land, one of the ones that I gave him was, “in alcohol’s defense I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too” — which is true.

Like, for example, his lower-back tattoo of Oscar Wilde’s line from De Profundis, “Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling” — which he got in the area of the lower back that is usually called something misogynistic that rhymes with, “damp scamp,” and then he was completely shocked when Todd, Margot, and Pete thought it was about sucking dick.

And Margot and Todd at least tried to explain it, while Pete just could not and fell over laughing because this was the funniest thing to happen all week, and Seb was just like, “Oscar Wilde was talking about prayer! And redemption! It’s from his prison letter to Bosie! I can see where you’re coming from but it’s not about sucking dick, oh my god, why is everyone being like this!”

—and right as Pete finally started calming down, Todd started to go, “Well… I mean, were you drinking? Just tell people you were drunk.”

Seb: “………I was completely sober. *blushes scarlet as Pete falls over laughing again**”

Seb doesn’t regret this tattoo, exactly (because if he did, he could and probably would just get it removed). But he does feel exceptionally silly for not even thinking that it was, in Pete’s words, “Like putting ‘nympho’ on the ass of your jeans, but in tattoo form” (though he still maintains that jfc, that’s not what the quote was about, why is everyone like this)  

4. Seb can drive a motorcycle, and owns one, but since his cousin Jeremy died, he hasn’t really been able to ride it without getting upset and, sometimes, having panic attacks that he refuses to admit are panic attacks, because those are for people who have, “real problems” (i.e., literally everyone but him).

Anyway, he doesn’t know it yet (because they haven’t met each other yet), but Sara Grace is very interested in learning how to ride a motorcycle, and while Seb isn’t going to full-on teach her himself, he’ll be glad to give her a couple pointers, and once she has her license, he’ll gladly give her Bettie.

He absolutely named his bike after Bettie Page, because he’s a loser nerd.

5. Seb can be incredibly frustrating to deal with about some things, because he’s so open to hearing other people’s perspectives on things, and hearing most kinds of new information, and revising his opinions about most things…… but then there are other things that he just will not listen about until reality kicks him in the ass, and even that isn’t always a guarantee.

A lot of this has to do with his until-recently undiagnosed and thus untreated or improperly treated depression. Other parts of it have to do with the PTSD that he “totally doesn’t have” (i.e., he totally does have PTSD, but he thinks that he can’t possibly have PTSD because that would be an actual problem, and he doesn’t have any actual problems, because reasons).

The biggest underlying theme in the things that he’s stubborn about is that they go back to things like devaluing himself, invalidating himself and his feelings and his problems, hurting himself and/or justifying it, denying the possibility that he deserves nice things or that nice things are happening to him (e.g., “There’s no way that Stephen is flirting with me, he’s just being nice, he’s a nice person” — Seb, to Pete, after Stephen had just tried to make a joke about sleeping with Seb*), denying that anything is wrong with him or his life or anything, etc.

But, seriously? This is a guy who can, without missing a beat, jump right from complaining about how his big brother Max low-grade hates Margot and Todd, even though Max doesn’t really know them and rejects most information that contradicts his preconceived ideas of who they are and what they mean to Seb…… to insisting that Max probably hates him based more on his own anxiety and self-loathing than on any actual facts evidence of what Max feels about him

Seb is also a guy who can tell you in earnest that he’s a complete idiot, while reading Proust in the original French (and possibly complaining that none of the English translators really get it right), or can tell you that he’s an idiot and follow it up with a completely off-the-cuff lesson on Latin grammar and vocabulary, and just

Trusting Seb’s opinions about himself is a bad idea, because his opinions about himself usually have only a very select relation to reality and some things will end up being magnified while others are ignored, and he’s just not always a reliable narrator  

6. Seb is a Hufflepuff, even though he doesn’t appreciate what that means because the HP series isn’t really his thing and he only got Pottermore-Sorted as part of helping Todd apologize to his teenage niece, Bianca. If Seb did understand what this means, he’d probably identify with the stereotype of, “Hufflepuff, ‘taking the lot’ means that they’re the reject House, lol” because that’s how he feels, even if it’s   not actually accurate.

The Hufflepuff stereotype that he more accurately fits is the, “you have ten fingers? I have ten fingers! Let’s be friends!” one

Granted, it’s a lot harder for him to be like that than it used to be when he was younger, but Seb is still someone who:

decided that he wanted to be Margot’s friend because of how she seemed interesting and cool during the few minutes they spent paired up in a, “get to know the people on your hall” exercise in their freshman year of undergrad

called his Mom after meeting Todd for the first time (and trying to ask him out on a date-date, but botching it a bit and instead getting platonic coffee), because he was just so happy to have made a new friend, even if he’d totally failed to convey any potential romantic interest

and started his first conversation with the guy who would become his sponsor by noticing the CD case for Judy at Carnegie Hall in Nick’s bag and proceeding to kinda geek out at Nick about it, then ask for a bunch of Nick’s opinions

and after having a nice chat with Nick at the after-meeting coffee talk, Seb went home, where Margot was waiting with his dogs, and went, “So, I met someone at group who I really like and I really want him to like me, he’s this nice older guy, he has a cat and a husband and apparently quite a few stories that I’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of, he owns an art gallery, his name is Nick, I really like him, omg”

7. Seb is a devout Catholic. It’s pretty easy for people to forget this fact (even his sponsor Nick, and sometimes even his parents), but that’s mostly because:

1. being devout doesn’t mean that he acts like what most people he deals with consider a, “good Catholic boy” (to be fair, he used to act more like that, but he really hasn’t since he was about sixteen, because that was when he had to leave his Catholic school in a pretty Not Good series of events, went to his Dad’s old prep school instead, and in short, went through Some Shit);

and 2. he hasn’t ever seen a contradiction between being gay and non-celibate and totally fine with his sexuality, and being Catholic. If you ask Seb, though, the biggest problems he’s ever had here have had jack squat to do with God or Jesus or his faith, and everything to do with other human beings being homophobic dicks who only liked him as long as they believed hat he was straight.

The latter problem has been slightly relieved by him switching churches, which was pretty much entirely Margot’s doing.

Like, Seb was more or less resigned to sucking it up and going to Mass with a priest who was openly homophobic, and fellow parishioners who had a tendency to be pitying but kinda sorta sympathetic when he showed up looking like shit because he was probably up all night and was likely hungover or still kinda drunk, and might gently mention a second-cousin who had a lot of success with this AA group or that therapist one moment, then say some homophobic bullshit the next because they had no idea they were talking to a gay man

So, Margot found a different parish — one that technically isn’t sanctioned by the Vatican but was started by two gay men who left seminary to be together, and is socially and politically liberal-to-progressive and very pro LGBTQ — and she only didn’t bodily drag Seb to it because he’s 6’3”, she’s 4’11”, and he’s physically stronger than she is besides.

Instead, she went, “I am your friend, I’m concerned about you, and the only way to make me be less concerned, right now? Is to stop acting like the only way to fulfill your spiritual needs is essentially emotional self-harm. You don’t need to debase yourself by fake smiling and catering to those people, they don’t deserve it” 

As far as most people are concerned, Margot intervened and started dragging Seb to a different and technically non-Vatican-sanctioned church out of enlightened self interest. Going to his previous church was fucking him up, which was screwing with her ability to work and their, “business ventures,” and that’s it, because Margot has trouble admitting to most people that she has a heart or ever does nice things for other people.

Anyway, another positive here is that Seb is now on legitimately good terms with the people at church, rather than, “good terms as long as they don’t know he’s gay, or fake good terms where he spends most of their conversations internally screaming,” from the other parishioners to the staff and priests.

The youngest of the priests, Fr. Teddy, is one of the few people out of the huge number of contacts in Seb’s phone who’s saved as a favorite.

They have a standing friendly coffee-date every Sunday after Mass, and although Seb doesn’t entirely know if he’s “allowed” to call Teddy a friend or not (because he has a lot of trouble with that in general), they know each other pretty well, Teddy didn’t exactly save Seb’s life once but did get him to help when he couldn’t exactly do it himself, Teddy was there at Seb’s intervention, and Seb is on a first-name basis with Joel, Teddy’s nice Jewish boyfriend while Teddy is on a first-name basis with Margot and Pete, knows Todd kinda but more knows of him, and will be eager to meet Stephen, once he and Seb get serious.

Teddy isn’t exactly skeptical of this superhero thing that Seb sort of stumbled into, but he’s watched someone else he cares about go into it with good intentions only to end up selling out and doing nothing for anyone but himself anymore, so Teddy’s a bit wary

The person in question was Teddy’s cousin Elliott. He’s a member of the All-Stars team out of Manhattan, and…… well. There are a lot of reasons why Teddy doesn’t talk about their connection, and only one of them is that he cares about protecting Elliott’s secret identity, since he’s only famous as his costumed alter-ego.  

8. Seb’s only been going to AA and NA meetings for a year-and-a-half, when the story starts, and he already has more than a few examples of Times When He Showed Up For Group While Wearing Something Unfortunate Or Just Barely Avoided This, including but not limited to:

The time he wasn’t paying attention and put on a t-shirt with the Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey label on it, simple because it happened to be clean, and when Pete went, “Uh, Princess? Really?” and offered to run back to Seb’s place so he could change, Seb’s solution was to take the shirt off in the middle of their favorite coffee shop, turn it inside out, and put it back on

The time he wasn’t paying attention and threw on a shirt that Todd had left at his place, which was somewhat oversized on Seb, but was also one of the sexual innuendo shirts that Todd, “only wears ironically” (i.e., he totally thinks they’re funny, because Todd has the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old looking up cuss words in the dictionary and just learned what 69 means, but Todd is also a pretentious hipster fuck who can’t just admit that he thinks his stupid sexual innuendo t-shirts are funny, so he has to misuse the term, “irony” to justify wearing them)

Anyway, Seb went to his Friday night NA wearing this little number (a purple shirt with a cartoon bubble tea and a caption that says, “suck my balls”), and actually, he probably would’ve been okay just wearing that, but Pete took it as a sign that Seb and Todd were having sex again (which they weren’t, at least not right within ten days of that incident), and got exasperated and Dramatic™ about sex that his bestie hadn’t even been having 

The time when he wasn’t paying attention and grabbed one of Pete’s shirts (which was: 1. just at Seb’s place, because Pete’s over often enough to justify having some spare clothes around, and Seb hadn’t sorted out the laundry yet; and 2. already small on Pete because he wanted it to be tighter-fitting), and Seb sort of just assumed that he’d screwed something up and shrunk the shirt, and maybe this would’ve gotten cleared up if Pete had been able to meet him for coffee before group

—but Pete couldn’t meet for coffee, so Seb showed up in a hot pink Female Trouble t-shirt that was almost a crop-top on him, and didn’t put everything together until Pete got there and went, “Oh, I wondered where I left that.” 

And hey, on the second anniversary of his cousin Jeremy’s death, Seb is going to end up going to NA in a pair of scrub pants that belonged to one of Pete’s exes and got left in Pete’s car for over a year, a crop top that belongs to Pete (though, as far as shirt designs go, a black shirt that says, “too cute to be straight” isn’t really that bad), and a pair of sandals that Seb thought he lost but actually they were also in Pete’s car all this time

This is going to happen because Seb still won’t have that much control over his shifts because no one will have worked out what triggers them, exactly, or what La Bête’s deal is.

So, when he and Pete visit Jeremy’s grave, Seb’s emotional upset triggers a shift that he can’t stop, and Pete handles it really well, especially considering that it’s the first time he’s actually seeing Seb turn into a nine-foot-tall wolf-person

……But then, when Pete gets Seb to shift back, Seb is kind of naked. Kind of very naked. And they don’t have enough time to get him home before group, so they make do with whatever clothes Pete can find in his trunk while Seb curls up in the backseat so he can’t get arrested for indecent exposure while stone cold sober  

9.  If you pay attention, what Seb’s wearing on his arms can be a good way to guess how he’s probably doing, emotionally. See, Seb’s arms are kind of a mess:

His tattoos looked fine: on his right, the black outline of a rosary; on his left, the family’s heraldic wolf with its thyrsus staff. His scars, however, were another story. Most were thin and uniform, horizontal and so pale that they almost disappeared against his skin. Just below the wolf was a small circle, left behind by an ex-boyfriend’s lit cigarette. But each arm also had one vertical scar, longer and angrier than the rest. Gnarled like the bark of their Grandfather’s favorite ironwood tree, they cut over the smaller marks and bubbled underneath his ink in a bloodless, silvery shade of pink. Five years after giving them to himself, Seb couldn’t look at them without his insides going cold.

He’d really like to get to the point where he feels more or less secure enough to just wear short sleeves without letting other people’s reactions get to him too much…… but that’s probably a long way off for Seb, not least because he hasn’t actually been working on it that hard so much as wishing for it.

As it stands, Seb has a few usual standbys — long sleeves regardless of the weather; arm warmers (i.e., the long finger-less gloves with different kinds of rivets and lacing or other decor, all of which he got when he was a teenager and having a mall goth Hot Topic phase); different combinations of cuffs and bracelets (many of which are also left over from his Hot Topic phase); and, “nothing, but this should not be seen as a sign of him doing well, just yet”

Arm warmers are usually Seb’s default during the spring, summer, and early autumn, because they can draw attention but they’re also less of a pain than wearing long sleeves during a Baltimore summer. This makes them the hardest one to really get an accurate read on, because he wears them for so many different moods, but they all average out to, “He’s probably not doing great, but then, he’s almost never doing great; he’s about as okay as he ever manages”

Long sleeves tend to mean that Seb is feeling vulnerable and not-that-great, because they might attract attention sure, but it’s usually not as much as he gets while being nearly thirty and wearing his teenage Hot Topic mall goth arm warmers

Unfortunately for Seb, some of the people who love him still associate long sleeves with, “Sebastian is trying to hide something,” especially when he wears them in the middle of summer — which is how we get moments like Max catching his little brother by the wrist and anxiously tugging Seb’s sleeves back to check his arms

Which is just…… Max doesn’t mean for that to be hurtful or anything, but he’s worried about his brother (and not without reason, either) and he’s scared and he really doesn’t get that doing things like this isn’t helpful for myriad reasons, and in his experience, Seb most often wears long sleeves in summer when he’s been hurting himself and/or getting high

Bracelets and the like usually means that consciously, Seb isn’t sure if he wants to talk about something or not, but he probably does want to talk about it and will do so, if someone nudges him or gives him some indication that they’re willing to listen (because he kinda needs to be nudged and invited and otherwise reminded that he’s allowed and encouraged to talk about what he’s feeling with people, it doesn’t make him a burden)

And, at present, unless Seb is at home (either alone or with Pete, Margot, and/or Todd), short sleeves with bare forearms usually mean that Seb is really not in a good state of mind, because he’s probably feeling too tired or sick or hopeless to put on his arm warmers or care how people might react to his scars

10. Once someone gets saved as a favorite in Seb’s phone, they will almost definitely get a special ringtone. About the only exception to this is his sister-in-law, Linda, and that’s mostly because Seb is still scared of her, despite having known her since he was ~16, and thus, he doesn’t know her very well, and he feels like all his ideas just come down to, “I’m scared of you and that feels really mean.” But some of the other ringtones he’s given people are:

Pete: Natasha Richardson’s version of “Mein Herr” from Cabaret (because it’s Pete’s favorite version of his favorite song from his favorite musical)

Margot: “The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind” from The Great Mouse Detective

Todd: “Friday, I’m In Love” by The Cure (because one of the first things Seb and Todd bonded over was The Cure)

Nick: Judy Garland’s Carnegie Hall performance of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”

Marceline, his Mom: Bernadette Peters’ version of “Everything’s Coming Up Roses”

Max: “I Don’t Want To Know” by Fleetwood Mac

Unbeknownst to Seb, his ringtone in Max’s phone is Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams,” which is another of the Stevie Nicks-penned numbers on their Rumours album, and yes, Max and Seb are aware that she wrote the songs about her romantic relationship with Lindsey Buckingham

But both of them suck at actually associating their songs of choice with romance at all, because they first and foremost associate Fleetwood Mac with Marceline

Adelaide: “Be Prepared” from The Lion King (he originally gave her, “This Corrosion” by The Sisters of Mercy, but Addie took exception to that)

Ambrose: “Magic Dance” by David Bowie, from Labyrinth — specifically, the, “you remind me of the babe!” “what babe?” “the babe with the power!” part, because Seb is a dweeb and has happy memories associating his middle brother with Labyrinth

He’s also a dweeb who still calls his middle brother, “Ambrosius,” which he started doing when they were kids and he was having a hardcore Labyrinth Thing

But Ambrose just calls him, “Sir Didymus” back, so it kinda balances out

Abe, his Dad: “The Flying Purple People Eater” (it’s probably better not to ask why this is one of their father-son things, because neither of them can explain it in any kind of succinct fashion that makes sense to anyone but them)

Abe also has a custom ringtone for Seb. He literally only learned how to get custom ringtones (read: asked Adelaide to please do it for him) so he could set Seb’s ringtone as, “Carry On, Wayward Son”

Seb is aware of this, but he really doesn’t know how he feels about it

Fr. Teddy: “Anthem” by Leonard Cohen

Stephen: currently has Aqua’s “Barbie Girl,” because he’s mentioned that it’s one of his favorite songs before, but after their eventual relationship upgrade, Seb’s going to change it to Whitney Houston’s, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me,” which is higher up Stephen’s favorite song list and Seb feels like it’s more fitting for a boyfriend

……except that Pete knows the passcode into Seb’s phone and will amuse himself by periodically changing Stephen’s ringtone to The Divynyls’ “I Touch Myself” or George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex,” then moving Seb’s phone and pretending his is dead or charging so Seb has to ask Stephen to call it

This won’t always work out exactly how Pete wants, but he still tried, okay

Bonus fact (brought to you entirely by his headcanon casting and the, “I thought it was funny, so sue me” foundation): He doesn’t like sand. Or the beach. Especially not the beach. Like, sand is gross and it gets everywhere, and who the Hell decided to make, “sex on the beach” a romantic trope and what the fuck was wrong with them because it is actually terrible, there is sand in places where there ought not be sand, what is wrong with people — but the beach is even worse than the sand. 

Seriously, when he and Julian were dating each other for the first time, they very nearly didn’t make it past the hurdle of, “Julian loves the beach and wants to drag Seb to the beach (and make Seb pretty please pay for it because his parents are “old as BALLS” money rich white people and Julian’s are middle-class white people from Minnesota), and ugh why do you want to stay home for spring break, who cares if Pete is in a play, he’ll forgive you for not going to opening night, I wanna go to the beach and you’re just trying to get out of going to the beach because you’re being difficult, you’re being obstinate, and you’re being difficult, and if we go to Pete’s play and don’t leave ‘til after his opening night, can we please please pleeeeease go to the beach”

Except that, rather than dealing with the fact that Julian was pushing him around (despite also being the one more open to compromise, for once), Seb just went, “No, my only objection is that I irrationally dislike the beach” 

His aversion to going to the beach has only gotten worse since then, and only partially because he and Julian went to the beach for that spring break and Julian went, “Please, please, can we, please, please, please” about sex on the beach until Seb agreed to try it.

(They did not succeed in this effort, because Julian was confronted with the reality of having sex on the beach and went, “This is significantly less romantic and fun than I’ve been led to believe. ……Take me back to the hotel, I have sand in places where I don’t want for there to be sand :(” — but they still tried) 

The other big part has to do with how much of a mess Seb’s arms are, and how many scars he has elsewhere, and how he wouldn’t even mind the fact that he burns super-easily (which he used to mind quite a bit), but he doesn’t want to deal with the questions that he can attract based on his scars, or with the way that people are super-unsubtle about trying not to look at his scars but still looking at them and giving him sad, pitying looks, or with wearing long sleeves and/or “leftover from when he had a Hot Topic mall goth phase” arm warmers at the beach and attracting attention because he’s doing that  

—and in closing, this meme was hard because I felt torn between, “oh yeah, I have a lot of things to say about the little shit who started this whole series,” “oh, but do I talk about him too much already,” “oh, but what parts have I shared enough that I don’t need to anymore,” “oh, but which ones do I need to share for context,” “oh, but how much linking to things I’ve shared before can I get away with and not look conceited,” and the impulse to just go, “okay, you guys, look, I know he’s a mess, but he’s MY mess”

He’s kind of a disaster but he’s trying his best, okay

*: And here is the conversation in question, as evidence of how totally not subtle Stephen was being:

“Nothing, [Todd] didn’t… His and Pete’s friendship is founded on hating the same things and picking on each other.” Seb shook his head. “Pete doesn’t know what he’s talking about, though, okay?” he said. “I wasn’t with Todd last night. Or anybody. Except my dogs. I only had a, ‘baking ’til I felt tired, then spacing out to Catching All-Stars reruns until I finally nodded off’-style long night.”

“I know how that goes. Where it’s like…” Stephen smirked, and snickered. “Like, you’re trying to knock yourself out…” He failed to stifle a chuckle. “I mean, like…” He snorted, and ducked his head as he giggled. “Like, the kind of night when you need intellectual Novocaine instead of lullabies?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Seb laughed into his hand. “Being with somebody probably would’ve been better for me. Or worked sooner. I lost track of how long it took to get to sleep.”

“Yeah, well, if you wanted to have somebody, then I bet I could…” He was definitely leaning in, now. He bit his lip, glancing around like he felt guilty about something. “If you wanted, I could get you in bed by, I don’t know, eleven-thirty? Or like, whenever you want?”

“What, is that, like… an invitation?”

A glimmer sparked up behind Stephen’s eyes. His smile twinkled. Seb was the one leaning in, now, and Stephen’s mouth was right there, and—

“Well, I guess I’m inviting myself to get my own goddamn beverage, since you two are busy flirting.” Pete glowered and, elbowing between them, he said, “Stephen, you’re adorable, but if you’re gonna distract my Princess, then can you please just kiss him already.”

So, yeah. Like…… yes, Stephen botched the delivery because he isn’t that great at actually telling jokes, but he’s not being subtle about flirting with Seb right now and it’s completely fair for Pete to be exasperated as fuck with his Princess when Seb tries to go, “I bet Stephen’s just being nice, because he’s a nice person, not like he’s actually interested in me” 

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