#julian ward

[neuroticboyfriend]

not that people who've been to the ward are immune from being pro-psych, but if you've never been to a psych ward*, i sincerely don't want to hear about how psychiatry/psychology is good because you've had such a good experience with X provider, or X medication saved your life. *i also don't want to hear about how the forced treatment was what you needed or how the ward you went to let you have your cellphone etc. etc. i genuinely do not want to hear it.

like. the first hospitalization traumatized me so bad, i became dangerously delusional, was re-hospitalized, and sent to state. when they transferred me, i was strapped down into a gurney at all points on my body, *head and neck included*, and loaded onto an ambulance. my parents lost most of their parental rights; i was a ward of the state and had near zero rights. when i got there, they made me choose if, "if necessary," if i wanted to be wrangled down and forcibly injected with a sedative... or wrangled down and locked in a padded room all by myself (but at least i had a choice, right?). i signed consents and paperwork that i did not fucking understand. then i was told i'd be locked inside for 2 straight weeks (which yes, they followed through with). the psych ward was remote, nothing but barbed fences and trees around us. cant even see the sun through the heavily tinted windows. that was the *start* of the stay. i'm sure you can imagine nothing good came after.

so like. if you walk out of a place like that thinking it was good for you, then i can only imagine how traumatized you are and i hope you heal someday. but if you've never faced the destruction of your autonomy like that and go around being like "oh this is good actually" then shut the ever living fuck up.

[handsomepigeon]

FCILMGOW (fictional character i'd like to marry and grow old with)

[5leggedlamb]

My type 1/2

[letterboxd-loggd]

Quatermass and the Pit (Five Million Years to Earth) (1967) Roy Ward Baker

October 6th 2024

[intersexfairy]

they put me on this mood stabilizer and i am much more unstable than i was now. it's almost like being locked up for 3 weeks and near totally disconnected from the outside world fundamentally changes a person

[random-brushstrokes]

Julian Russell Story - Mary Augusta Ward (née Arnold), 1889

[the-football-chick]

Only 8 wide receivers have ever won Super Bowl MVP

IG: snfonnbc

[thebookaddict7]

Fictional men, I would sell my best friend for

none. my best friend isn't someone I would trade. they are amazing in every way shape and form, and I love them unconditionally. I just wanted them to know that.

Percy Jackson

Luke castellan

Nico di Angelo

Leo Valdez

Draco Malfoy

Keefe Secren

Magnus chase

Thomas tmr

newt tmr

stiles stilinski

Isaac Lahey

Peter Hale

Julian Sark

Leo Fitz

grant ward

Loki

bucky barns

prince Caspian

Sirius Black

Theo Raeken

Liam Dunbar

Jackson Whittmore

PS. Sorry bestie. the list wasn't supposed to be so long

[k-wame]

wee lad is an agent of chaos im crying 😂😂

[captaindowagerblog]

Don't get me wrong... I absolutely LOVE the new season of Gilded Age but... I want more of Mrs Astor and less of... basically every other character

[neuroticboyfriend]

reminders to myself

some things addiction brought me:

involuntary psych unit admission

loading up a sub-q needle with 99 proof liqueur (didn't shoot it, thank god)

going to bed every night hoping i die, only to wake up disappointed

stealing. food, alcohol, drugs, money. but worst of all, time and peace of mind.

the most excruciating pain of my life, throughout my entire body, for hours, because of drug poisoning (coming from someone with severe chronic pain)

being glued to the bathroom floor, throwing up/dry heaving for literal hours

lost control of the muscles that control my eyes. i swear this is much scarier than it sounds, especially when you can't feel yourself breathing and keep going in & out of consciousness

being unable to feel anything but despair, and thinking i'll never be happy again - that i need drugs/alcohol to have emotions.

some things sobriety brings me:

freedom <3

i'm going to be starting testosterone soon! and now i know, shooting alcohol is a yet. i'm only lucky to not have done it.

waking up in the morning, ready for a new day whether i like it or not. i can't even verbalize how great it is to wake up without death lingering over my head.

helping others, giving my friends hope, and being more mindful and attentive to my loved ones.

accepting my chronic pain, and accommodating for myself in public to reduce that pain (yay, rollator w/cushion!)

i can enjoy food whenever i want! no hangovers, no drug toxicity. just me and my comfort/safe foods.

i can feel the cool autumn air in my lungs. i can be awake all throughout the day, without passing out. i'm much more present.

i can feel joy again! i'm starting to do the things i love, i smile all the time when i'm with my friends, i hold my cat and feel the love I have for him. i now know my darker moments will pass. good comes eventually, if i just wait and ask for help.

it gets better :') the little things in life are what make it worth living. a year ago, i would have done anything to be where i'm at now. so i may not be where i want to be, but where I am and where I'm headed is much better than where i was. <3

for anyone struggling, i love you and i believe in you. have hope - hold on, pain ends.

[nerds-yearbook]

In 1979, the time traveling alien known as the Doctor (Doctor 4) and his companions arrived in Paris and stumbled upon a plan to steal the Mona Lisa. The plot thickened when the Doctor learned the Count Scarlioni, who attempted to steal the Mona Lisa, apparently had several other Mona Lisa’s. To make matters more complicated, Scarlioni appeared to have access to alien technology and working on Time Travel experiments. ("The City of Death", Doctor Who vlm 1, TV)

[dandyshucks]

I WANNA BE A JANITORRRR

[blueiight]

lotgh is like if iliad achilles’s wrathful grief was 50% of one story and odyssey odysseus whos a relaxed semi functioning alcoholic was 50% of the other. and telemachus is an odysseus fanboy (re)constructing the odyssey thru the sayings& private convos he had with his dad. and they in space

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

can officially scratch calendar man off of my rogue's bingo. now i'm eligible for a free dinner.

anon, I am so, so sorry. tell you what, I'll DM you a real nice hole-in-the-wall pizza place I hit up every now and then.

[djkerr]

TGA 01x06 Heads Have Rolled For Less

How not to cross a road:

How to cross a road like a normal person:

How to cross a road like you own the street (do not try to repeat it):