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belle-greene · 4 years ago

Text

DEAD INSIDE - GUTS

S1.E2

Sat with a pile of mushrooms in front of them, I watched as Lori and Amy mindlessly sorted through various kinds they had collected over the day, a look of mild confusion on Amy's face as she inspected one, "How can you tell if they're poison?" She wondered aloud.

I saw Lori shrug with a slight smile on her face, "There's only one sure way I know of."

I couldn't stop the chuckle coming out of my mouth, my eyes catching Lori's at her insinuation, knowing full well we were screwed. None of us had any idea which mushrooms you could eat, which were poison and which ones were going to make you see dead people walking.

Oh wait, you didn't need drugs for that one.

But Amy clearly didn't understand the joke, and instead just flickered her eyes up to Lori's in question, "Wait until Shane gets back?"

Amusement covered Lori's features and I'd bet my life that it had on mine too, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. Instead of explaining, Lori simply nodded with an attempt at a serious face, "Yeah, you've got it. Thank you." As soon as I saw her push herself onto her feet, I took a few steps towards them with folded arms, but she only arched her brow at me, "You know, you don't have to come with me."

Shaking my head adamantly, I spoke, "And you know I'm not letting you go out there alone."

Lori had quickly become a motherly figure to me, I mean, she always had been considering my mom was never in the picture and how close her husband was to my dad, but since she outbreak our connection had really grown. Carl was my brother, I don't care what any DNA test said, he was exactly that. And I promised Rick that I'd protect him as he was, because he was.

"Alright," she tutted, dusting off her palms as she turned to look up at Dale, raising her voice slightly, "Dale, we're heading out." She turned back down to Carl, placing a protective hand on the top of his head, "Sweetheart, I want you to stay where Dale can see you, okay?"

Carl, already knowing what was coming, simply nodded, his tone flat, "Yes mom."

I quickly pointed an accusing figure towards him with a mischievous smile, "And no kissing Sophia, we can't have her running off because of you."

Pulling a disgusted face, Carl's cheeks burnt bright red as he ran away from his laughing mother, a sound that we didn't get enough these days.

Dale stood slightly, resting his binoculars to the side as he glanced down at the two of us, "You too. Don't wander too far. Stay within shouting distance. And if you see anything, holler. I'll come running." He promised.

With a teasing eye roll, Lori nodded, "Yes, mom."

Chuckling at the two, I gave Dale an acknowledging nod before Lori and I made our way into the surrounding woods. "I love old men," I laughed out slightly, loving Dale's constant, accidental, wholehearted humour. He was so precious.

"Don't tell your dad, he'll freak out," Lori pulled her own repulsed face, the similarities to Carl uncanny.

"Ew, gross, not like that," I automatically defended, feeling bile raise in my throat. It only earned a loud laugh from Lori.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed my dad sneaking up behind Lori, his finger to his lip in attempt to shush me.

This'll be funny.

Pretending not to notice, I continued walking by Lori's side, deeper into the woods when suddenly my dad's hand came around Lori's mouth, pulling her tightly against his front. She muffled out, fear evident in her eyes as they widen but my dad was soon to shush her, his grin large.

As soon as he let go, I let out my laughter as Lori instantly spun around to slam her hands against his chest, "You scared the hell out of me."

Knowing their time in the woods was the only time they would openly show their affection to each other, I was quick to put my hands up in fake surrender as I back away, "I'll leave you two to do whatever old people do."

Just as I turned back to camp, my dad playfully threw his arm over Lori, hearing him call out as I walked away, "It's just the birds and the bees, darling."

"Not listening," I hollered back, shaking my head as I continued my way out the woods.

I know anyone who knew them would instantly look down on their kind of but not really relationship. Sleeping with your best friends' wife is morally wrong by anyone's standards, but I always knew my dad had some type of feelings for Lori. She was the mother and wife he never had; seeing how she was bringing up Carl, imagining how it would've been different if she brought me up too.

I think my dad did fine on his own, but I'm probably biased. I am talking about myself, after all. But I'm polite, I respect my elders, I don't curse despite his foul mouth and I did everything to protect the ones I loved. I'd say that was pretty well raised.

But the grass is greener and that, my dad would always think what if.

He'd never acted on his emotion, hell, if the world hadn't gone to what it is, I doubt he ever would've. But after he risked our lives to save Lori and Carl's, there was no denying what he felt for her, and it seemed to be reciprocated, at least a little bit.

I did feel guilty, but Rick's gone, and my dad's more than willing to protect them like they are his own family, like they mean just as much to him as I do. They probably did, sometimes it felt like more.

I didn't mind. I love both Lori and Carl and if they were to become my real family, I have no issues with that.

—

Later that same day, while my dad was off making knots or something ridiculous with Carl, I noticed Amy pacing the ground slightly, a sickly worried expression on her face, "It's late. They should've been back by now."

Dale just merely peered over his shoulder, "Worrying won't make it better," he explained, but it didn't seem to calm her nerves.

I stepped forwards hastily, trying my best to give her a supportive smile but I knew it would've come out as a grimace, "Andrea's strong, she'll be back." Comforting people was something my dad didn't find easy, in fact, he was terrible at it if it didn't involve sleeping with them. I guess I inherited half of that, the bad at comforting part, not the sleeping with them half. I don't think that would work on Amy.

Before she could reply, static sounded from the radio near Dale, the faint voice of an alive, but panicked T-Dog ringing through. I couldn't make out what he was saying exactly, and apparently Dale didn't since he replied with, "Hello?" Nothing. "Hello?" Nothing. "Receptions bad on this end." Again, nothing. "Repeat." Silence. "Repeat."

After a moment, his voice rang through again, "Shane, is that you?"

Lori came striding over, a concerned look on her face as she looked at Dale, "Is that them?"

"We're in some deep shit," he spoke through the radio, "We're trapped in the department store."

"He said they're trapped?" Apprehensive looks appeared on everyone's face, not having any idea what to do, or how to even do it. Some more words came through the radio, but the static was too overpowering, making it almost impossible to make out.

"He said the department store," Lori confirmed, to gain an agreeing nod from Dale.

"I heard it too."

Lori turned towards my dad, a questioning look, "Shane?"

This was common, asking my dad for directions, since he was a cop and clearly strong-willed, though they didn't always agree with his actions. It was hard being the person everyone relied on, especially when you didn't have a clue what you were doing, being thrown into a completely new situation. I honestly felt bad for him sometimes.

"No way. We do not go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group. Ya'll know that." He shook his head firmly.

But that didn't mean I had to agree with him either.

"So we're just going to leave them there?" Amy cried out, disbelief in her tone but I'm not sure why, those had been the rules since the beginning. You don't risk the whole group.

But my dad only shook his head, his inability to comfort coming through yet again, "Look, Amy, I know that this is not easy..."

Before he could finish, anger shot through Amy's eyes, "She volunteered to go to help the rest of us." She defended.

"I know, and she knew the risks, right?" He tilted his head, already knowing the answer, "See, ifs she's trapped, she's gone." He shrugged, like it was nothing and I could feel the anger building inside me, an emotion I tended to express too easily, again, something I probably inherited from him. "So we just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do."

But Amy just seethed, pure hatred on her face as she flared her nostril at my dad, "She's my sister, you son of a bitch." Before storming off somewhere in the distance, probably towards the RV. Lori sent my dad an annoyed look before quickly following after the distraught Amy.

Turning towards my dad with my arms crossed, I tried my hardest not to snap and instead just raised my brows in obvious disbelief, "Really?"

He just tilted his head, something that annoyed the hell out of me, knowing it was his way of questioning why I'm questioning him, "Those are the rules."

"What if I was me trapped?" I was quick to counter, tilting my own head, imitating him just to get under his nerves, "Or Lori, or Carl?"

He just firmly shook his head, "That's different." He tried to explain, but I wasn't having any of it.

"How?" My voice raised slightly. "Because we're your family? Well those people trapped are these people's family."

He just glared down for a moment, clearly trying to control his own anger bubbling in him, "It's different because none of you would be in that situation in the first place."

Then he just shoved past, barging his way in a direction I didn't even know, or care. So, to get the final word, I just yelled out to him, "You're such an ass." Before making my own way over to Lori and Amy, wanting to try my best and comfort the girl. Even if I'm not good at it, the effort counts, right?

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