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wovenstarlight · 4 years ago

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YWBK update: chapter 26 + liner notes

yesterday will be kinder has updated! you can read chapter 26 here, or start from the beginning here

as always, commentary below the cut

Yoojin🐉😊

watch this space....

In preparation for it, Han Hyunjae temporarily requisitions Yoojin’s laptop and combs through the internet looking for photos of the Hunters that he thinks his family should know about in advance. He goes down one too many internet rabbit-holes, takes way too many screenshots, transcribes a summary of the notes in his future diary, then painstakingly puts everything together into a neat little presentation for them.

picture HHJ reading his fifth article wondering where the sung family heir has disappeared to and being like 👁️👁️👁️👁️

had a little giggle to myself about “future diary” that phrasing was definitely on purpose. will exclusively be referring to it as this now

“Right,” he starts, clapping his hands together, after Yerim’s been sent off to play with Hohyoung.

LHH is so much of a background figure.... i want to see more of himself but he likes his privacy.... he’s got his girlfriend and his baby sister and yoojin who’s wormed his way into his good graces by way of Living In Same House but that’s kinda it....... he’s always lurking in the background instead of showing up on screen. come here hohyoung oppa i just wanna talk

Even if Yoojin’s right, Han Hyunjae still has to protest. [...] But he can’t keep it up when Jiyeon looks at him like that.

KJY has the world’s best Stern Mom Voice and Disappointed Mom Glare and to her great delight they work even on fellow adult HHJ. she will use this power For Evil

The other S-ranks are Moon Hyuna, leader of Breaker Guild, and Bak Mingyu of Hanshin Guild.

OK FOR THIS PART I STRAIGHT FORGOT ABOUT HANSHIN GUILD AND I WAS COUNTING UP ON MY FINGERS LIKE WAIT... IF YERIM WAS THE EIGHTH KOREAN S-RANK WHO WERE THE SEVEN BEFORE HER.... (for those curious they were 1. sung hyunjae, 2. han yoohyun, 3. moon hyuna, 4. song taewon, 5. bak mingyu of hanshin, 6. choi sukwon of MKC, and 7. yoon kyeongsoo of soodam. but. i forgot about the last three altogether.)

“Oh, blond guy,” Yoojin says, unimpressed. “Yeah, I’ve seen him on the news and stuff.”

Top 10 Funny Yoojin Moments (I JUST THINK IT’D BE REALLY FUNNY IF HAN “HAVE I MENTIONED IN THE LAST 5 MINUTES HOW HANDSOME SUNG HYUNJAE IS” YOOJIN DID NOT GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT HIM IN THIS TIMELINE....)

Han Hyunjae takes a moment to double-check that he really doesn’t have Noise Resistance (L), and looks back in time to see Yoojin rubbing at his eyes and glaring at the screen.

HEHEHE...... A SECRET TOOL THAT WILL HELP US LATER

“Hyunjae-yah,” Jiyeon says, looking at the photo of Sung Hyunjae on screen, “this man looks—” “LIKE A PIECE OF WHITE BREAD,” Yoojin bellows. [...] “HYUNG THINKS HE LOOKS GOOD? [...] Oh, god, he kinda does, [...] but like, in a trashy romance novel cover way.” [... Jiyeon] gives the computer screen an assessing once-over. “He looks like the models in cologne advertisements.”

this part of the chapter was planned waaaay back in august 2020 and i actually crowdfunded these descriptions from the s-class server dshblksjdfkblsdfb. the original suggestions (thanks to server members for these):

“bland whitie potato with a slap-on seme personality”

“tacky valentine’s day/mom’s cologne advertisement”

“the face of the dude on the cover of all my mom’s trashy romance novels”

and tbh HYJ does think he genuinely looks good but like, disgustingly good, you know... also Hyung Likes Him so [19 gun emojis]

also me handwaving moment of mild homophobia because like. jiyeon doesn’t know yet AND homophobia is a thing in this world BUT i don’t really wanna do, All That (we already did it with HYJ once), so.

“Do S-ranks get rich?” Yerim asks as she enters, because apparently everyone’s coming for his life today. Han Hyunjae closes his eyes and lies down on the bed while Yoohyun calls out an affirmation over his head. “Then I think— oh! He looks nice!” He cracks open an eye just in time to see her nod. “I think ahjussi should marry him for the eye candy and the money.” She beams very wide. Han Hyunjae closes his eyes again and tunes out the loud conversation going on around him. And wishes, not for the first time, that he’d picked literally any other name when he first got here.

yerim says gay rights cuz she’s like 12 rn and she straight up does not really care. but says it in, like, the most frustrating way possible.

sometimes you just need to lie down even as the world keeps throwing shit at you. just lie down and nap for a little bit. especially when the shit in question is the alias regret you had literally back in chapter one of your 25+ chapter story. this is gonna come back to bite you in the ass Very Fucking Soon babe!!!!

You Oh this is like the 17th one I got wrong I swear this course is trying to kill me

me, flicking on that EPSON brand projector,

(i have. been having a Time of it.)

[Yoojin🐉😊 called you (21:35)]

that’s minutes and seconds babey... you can pretty much guess the content of call from context :(

well, uh. most of call. some internal plot and Realizations happening right at the end of those 21 minutes, 35 seconds. namely:

Yoojin🐉❤️

:-)

or i dunno you can be my roommate and we can both leech off my rich and prosperous baby brother!

[extremely sad voice] heehoo... they... care each other....

YMW’s parents are kinda shit ngl. they care about him, but unfortunately, that does not show through in their care for him, ykwim? if they just paid attention to what he was actually talented at and encouraged him in his efforts.................

well, he wouldn’t have met HYJ in canon. but he would also have been a lot happier!! and YMW deserves to be happy!!!!!!!! YMW fucking rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You When you came with me to drop off Jihui’s standee.

they finally remembered her name sjfbklsjdfbl

Yoojin🐉❤️ OH right i was talking to one of my new commissioners about their piece realized they were an old friend of hyung’s

HEEHOO.... HONKS MY LITTLE CLOWN NOSE yoojin forgot to ask about pronouns but that’s okay they’re figuring that stuff out still

Yoojin🐉❤️ it’s getting late the kids are going to bed i have to turn off the lights

you can take the caregiver out the role of caregiving but he will still think of his baby siblings as his kids

Part of that is changing his behaviour. Hyunjae and Yoojin sit side by side and watch as Suk Simyeong gently coaches Yoohyun on how to interact with others and present a neutral, if not friendly, exterior.

[same voice as ingredience] neurodivergence.....

try and look them in the eye, or at least look somewhere on or near their face, if eye contact is too much

yoohyun, who’s the type to look people in the eye without blinking until they inevitably look away because then they don’t try that eye contact shit again later:

tbh i kinda made up shit for the Training In Formality section i don’t know shit about being Formal and Polite. hope i got it right :pensive:

“He’s not good with touch,” Hyunjae cuts in. [...] “Sorry,” [Yoojin] says apologetically to Suk Simyeong, crossing the room and gently pressing a hand against Yoohyun’s back. The kid slowly stops rocking and leans into the touch as he talks.

he’s not good with touch, Usually..... there are exceptions :-) every time i think about this being canon i go insane. wow. love and trust and faith.

Suk Simyeong nods understandingly, giving the closed door a considering look. “If that’s the case, perhaps he can take over part of the preparations,” he offers.

SSM who’s frothing at the mouth wanting to know more about this dude who apparently did some killer business deal with the head of Dungeon Task Force who all the dungeon people are gossiping about on their phone calls while they cart around unassuming A-rank businessmen: PLEEAAASEE fucking involve him PLEEEEASE make him involve himself in business with me

Still, Yoojin’s work is fairly repetitive and boring, so Hyunjae and the women pull out a pack of UNO cards from somewhere and start playing while he works, not paying much attention to either of the boys.

plugging my Han/Bak family playing UNO art here, please reblog like and subscribe,

He stares down at Yoohyun’s hair. Yoohyun’s wavy hair sits there judgmentally. Yoojin bemoans his budding career as a stylist and admits, “This… isn’t working.”

i’m sorry sweetie... hair isn’t your forte :( you can still do fashion if you try really hard

(fun fact about this whole scene, yoohyun not being able to straighten his hair until he could control flame resistance is Certified Canon!)

“No, shit, don’t get up.” Yoojin flaps his free hand at him distractedly. Hyunjae and his need to do everything himself, jeez. “I mean, like. The iron is not. Straightening.”

“hyunjae and his need to do everything” says the man who a few paragraphs ago wanted to be hair makeup clothing and management all in one

“Okay, but why is it not working, though? Is the iron not turned on?” Wow. Wow! Yoojin wonders suddenly if Yoohyun ever felt as homicidal towards him as Yoojin’s currently feeling towards his big brother. If he ever had, then it’s frankly stunning Yoojin’s survived as long as he did. “Do you think I’m stupid,” he snaps. “It’s plugged in.” “Yeah, but did you turn it on.” “You know what, why don’t you touch it and see?” Yoojin unplugs the straightening iron for a minute so that he can take it over to Hyunjae, presenting it to him with a flourish. The heat will hold on for the few seconds this takes. “Come on, touch it right now. I dare you.”

zmur put this into words better than i can, she described this part as “the feeling when elder siblings doubt your intelligence”--

“What if you used a regular iron. Like for clothes,” Hyunjae says, completely ignoring Yoohyun. Yoojin hums thoughtfully.

--and this part as “THEY ARE RIGHT TO DOUBT IT !”

“Killjoy,” Hyunjae mutters so only he and Yoojin can hear.

(should doubt your elder sibling’s intelligence too, once in a while. keep them on their toes.)

“HAN YOOHYUN YOU TAKE YOUR HAND OFF THAT RIGHT NOW,” Yoojin and Hyunjae and Jiyeon holler in perfect unison.

parental instinct for particular phrasings of commands

“Flame Resistance,” Yoohyun reads out. “S-rank.” It’s not heat resistance, but it’s pretty close, so it probably still applies.

hum hum the flame skill works on heat as well, huh

Yoojin’s watching Hyunjae idly when the flickers start up at the edge of his vision again. He blinks, rubbing his eyes idly, and looks back up in time to see, just for a split second—

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE VISION PROBLEMS WAS IT? RUBBING HIS EYES WAS IT??

“Eh? It didn’t? I’ll… I’ll try it again, one second.” Nothing, for a second— but no, there is, pale flashes here and there. Yoojin shakes his head and blinks. They die down, then start up again. Fainter, this time. Why?

gonna say this here because i accidentally set it up as a Thing there’s. there’s no reason. whether the message shows up or not is pretty much random error.

“Ahjussi has an L-rank skill?” Yerim demands. “That’s so cool!” Jiyeon and Yoohyun and Yoojin stare at Hyunjae in silence as he returns Yerim’s eager high-five. He cowers when he notices them.

these three are already so mad and they don’t know that between S and L there’s SS and SSS. they’re gonna be SOOOOO mad. anyway yerim remains the chillest in the room

“So, say you needed to cauterize a wound in an emergency, and you didn’t have access to healing items or Hunters. You could drop the Resistance there, set it on fire, and just… sear it shut.” Yoohyun blinks, an intrigued look coming into his eyes, and looks down at his own forearm. “That’s true, I could probably…” “Yeah, food for thought, I suppose.” “What the hell?!” Yerim yelps. “Though it’s up to you if you want to try it. I still think your hair is fine as is, we don’t have to—” “That’s horrifying,” Yoojin blurts. “No, I should know how. In case something happens like you said. How do I do it?” “Now hold on a second,” Jiyeon says, voice rapidly rising in pitch.

sometimes i think about how dungeon stuff made yoojin significantly more chill with violence and murder and self mutilation in some cases. and how he comments specifically (i think this might be in a slightly later chapter, possibly unreleased) that people like myeongwoo who don’t have those extra years of immersion in the dungeon culture still reject and avoid violence and killing whenever possible. really makes you think

anyway! i saved some extra commentary for those okay with spoilers. continue reading at your own risk. extra large warning in case you’re skilling

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE BELOW CONTENT!!!! IT DRAWS ON INFO FROM UNTRANSLATED CHAPTERS, POST-170S AT LEAST!

“How many of these people did you personally know?” “Not many!” “So one, then,” Yoojin concludes. “You don’t know that!”

HE DIDN’T SAY THAT YOOJIN WAS RIGHT, THOUGH..............

“Why did you pick his name out of everyone’s! I thought you weren’t in touch with S-ranks. I thought you picked a friend’s name!”

they wanted some kind of bedroom decoration for a family member, counting sheep or something, i forget

a sheep, for a family member of one of han hyunjae’s old acquaintances, is it

#star.txt #work: yesterday will be kinder #writing commentary #my writing #some family antics to make up for what's next #more and more i feel like i need to write a timeskip. i'm so tired of early guild and dungeon management.#i need to write insanity. murder. kidnapping. classic s-class stuff #AND OF COURSE SUPERPOWERED FAMILY ANTICS WHICH IS SO CLASSIC S-CLASS STUFF IT'S BCE

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giyuwu-san · 4 years ago

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burn the stage — part 1 // dabi

— A multi-chapter fic complete with your favorite indie and mainstream bops. Watch as you fall in love with the captivating guitarist of a band one drunken, perfect night. (BAND AU)

↱ PAIRING : Dabi x Female!Reader

↱ WORD COUNT : 5K

↱ WARNINGS : Mentions of alcohol, Suggestive themes, Strong language, Dabi being hot

↱ TAGS : @yusemis @lordexplosionsextra @astrrnmy @basicallyberry @j-brielmalfoy (I actually remembered my taglist this time wow)

↱ AUTHOR’S NOTE : Thank you sosososo much to @kaikamikazi for allowing me to use her likeness for Kai’s character! Happy birthday to my favorite clown <3 everyone please wish her a happy birthday woot woot !!! And also huge huge thanks to @doughnuts-5ever and @jojosmilktea for helping me proofread/betaread this fic huhu it was a whole ass mess you guys are absolute legends tysm!!

↱ PLAYLIST

↱ SERIES MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------✈

scene one; no song

"Thousands of years ago, our ancestors looked up at the night sky and saw a field of lights."

The aged man paced around the room, hands folded behind his back and hair graying by the roots. His side facing the blackboard on the wall, he continued;

"None of them really knew what they were," he stopped and looked at the vast sea of students perched atop of chairs in the big room. "But, they made a fascinating observation."

You sat listening to your professor, your chin perched on your open palm, and eyes focused on the notebook that sat idly on your connected desks.

"They noticed that the patterns were predictable and had clear effects." The man said with some form of self-acknowledged eureka, his left hand coming up to the height of his face, index finger pointing up at the heavily-lit ceiling. "The seasons, the tides, the harvests."

"Incredible, isn't it?" he resumed.

The man was about to continue on his tangent. But that was until a hand shot up in the air, followed by a voice.

"Uhm, professor?" the boy who raised his hand asked. "Aren't we supposed to be learning about chemistry?"

Your professor looked at him, who now appeared to be slightly frightened by the blank but disrupted gaze of his teacher.

“Pfft—”

You turned around to see your friend Kai, her head resting upon her folded arms. Was she seriously trying to sleep through the lesson again?

“The one opportunity we got to sleep,” she sighed. “You just had to ruin it, brainy.”

“Is that seriously what you call a sufficient insult?” you asked as you fully tilted your head towards her direction.

“Wasn’t saying it to insult him.” She said casually as she massaged her head with the hand closest to her, face still partially buried within her entangled arms. “Wasn’t saying it to compliment him either though.”

You scoffed.

“You’re unbelievable,” and at that, the darker-skinned girl turned to you with horror in her eyes.

“Oh no,” she said petrified.

“What?”

“You’re being a Karen again.”

You looked at her dumbfounded, sighing.

“I am not being a Karen,” you started. “I’m just saying—”

It was already too late, however, as Kai had both her hands covering her ears, blocking out your protests as well as all her other life issues.

You sighed once more and turned your attention back to your professor, your notebook still open on your desk.

“Your semester is practically over,” said your professor, standing idly in front of all the students, his left hand reaching up to habitually play with the fabric of his suit tie.

“So, let me have some me-time every once in a while," he continued.

‘You never let us have any me-time—’ is what you could feel the hoard of tired students internally screaming around you.

The aged man cleared his throat and set along to once again resume his lengthy ramble.

“Where was I?” he asked himself, his feet already departing from his standstill position in the middle of the room as he started walking about once more.

“Ah yes, so it seemed logical that these lights shaped everything else in our lives. But with the scientific method disproving all these theories, why do people still look for meaning in the stars?”

A hand shot up in the air once again, only to be shot back down by a quick hand gesture from the professor.

“Calm down now, I’m not done yet,” he said.

“Many prolific historical figures of our kind, such as the Iikes of William Shakespeare, have used the concept of astrology as a metaphorical expression, more than an actual study. Whether or not he truly believed in it, he still used the idea of astrology to create some of his most well-known epigrams to date,” he continued.

“With lines such as; ‘These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend no good to us.’ from King Lear, ‘A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life.’ from Romeo and Juliet— I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with that one." He faced the students once more. "And my utmost favorite, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars—’”

“But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

“—From Julius Caesar,” the professor smiled. “Well done, Miss L/N.”

Shock settled into your form, having realized that you had said that much louder than you had anticipated. Now with the burning stares of your classmates and uncontrolled laughter coming from a seatmate you used to call your best friend, you let out an exasperated sigh, head falling onto your desk and arms protecting you from the unfiltered judgment of the outside world.

You sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day before finally coming out of hiding, your chin once again finding shelter in your welcoming palm. You stared down at your open notebook, observing each line and angle. Stared at the drawings of orbits clashing together with the unwelcome intrusion of jotted scientific equations. A picture of the sun as each planet aligned themselves accordingly within their rotation, along with the lengthy compound formula of 4 Bromo, 3-4 Dichloro, Ethyl Hexanoate, written briskly, and uncared for.

But despite your apparent unhappiness and deep-rooted sorrow, you lifted your head forward and listened to the lesson in front of you.

"You seriously need to loosen up," said Kai, her head faced towards you. "When was the last time you danced to music alone in your bedroom?"

You thought about it for a second.

She sighed.

"You're so sad," she sighed once more and patted your head. "Poor baby."

She brought her hand down from the crown of your head, arm now resting on your shoulders as she brought you in closer.

"I'm gonna get you laid tonight," she said with conviction. You looked at her profile, absolutely bewildered.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That's right," she nodded her head in content. "You're having sex tonight, just leave it to me."

"Shouldn't we work on having me dance to music alone in my bedroom first?" you countered.

"Even better," she grinned at you with the type of grin your primary teachers warned you about. You know, those creepy man smiles that you should run away from when faced with in a dark, ominous alley? "I'm taking you to a bar."

You could feel Mrs. Peterson screaming at you to run.

But nobody really listened to Mrs. Peterson. Sorry.

You sighed once more at your beaming friend and nodded your head slowly.

"Whatever," you finally said. Attention spanning back to the lecture in front of you as you turned your head. "After the class ends."

Kai smiled and leaned back into her chair, legs crossing and folded arms supporting her head from behind. She looked utterly satisfied.

"Alright Karen," she said.

"My name is not Karen," you grumbled.

"Then stop being such a Karen and let me have my fun," she closed her eyes and smiled. Totally abandoning the lecture playing out before her. Chemistry was all just a bunch of bullshit anyway.

scene two; black eyes

Ambient lighting and muffled voices were what greeted you and Kai as you both entered the bar. The light that shone down above you cast an evanescent sheen across the tiny, hidden bar.

You fumbled in with your red dress and heeled boots, bridging the edge of comfortable and painfully exposed. It’s been years since you've last worn a dress.

"Are you sure this isn't some kind of ancient speakeasy?" you asked Kai, uneasy.

"A speakeasy for bands and stuff sure," she shrugged. "Sadly, no dancing flapper girls, so sorry to disappoint."

You nodded and started heading towards the bar. No matter how badly you wanted to keep up the 'holier than thou' attitude, college was rough and unforgiving.

You ordered your drink and sat down on the stool, Kai following you shortly after as she sat beside you.

"I heard there's gonna be a good band playing tonight," she rings up the bartender and orders a drink.

She takes one look at your drooping face and sighed, her hand coming up to massage your shoulder.

"Loosen up," she takes a sip from her drink, "just for tonight, okay?"

You sighed and nodded timidly, copying her as you took a swig of your own drink.

"Looks like they're almost up," she taps your shoulder. "Mr. Compress is about to introduce them."

"Mister wha—" she shushes you before you could continue, leaving you no other choice but to sigh and watch.

The man with the strange name took center-stage with the microphone in his hand. The crowd seemed to know who he was, for they cheered and started gathering at the front of the stage.

"Let's go take a closer look too," Kai stood up and started dragging you with her. "Take your drink with you."

You looked at the already half-empty glass and shrugged, opting to chug it down instead. You finished your drink and walked with Kai towards the pit of people, still confused about what exactly was going on.

The strangely named man started to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he threw his free hand in the air by his side flamboyantly. "What an incredible pleasure to have you all here tonight. I am delighted to see some familiar faces, and some new ones too."

He grinned.

"I'm sure a lot of you are here to relieve some stress, no?" he asked, and the crowd cheered in affirmation. The man chuckled and continued;

"Well, I best not keep my wonderful patrons waiting then." The crowd cheered louder. "Without further delay, may I present to you, The Villain League!"

The crowd roared as four people took the stage, varied instruments at their disposal, but the one that caught your eye was the one that stood at the center, a guitarist, and a good looking one at that.

He was mostly dressed in dark clothing, aside from the white t-shirt he wore under his long coat. His features were hidden beneath the shadow cast by the dimmed lights.

And that was when the music started.

Electric guitar blinded your senses and opened your eyes. The exhilarating sound numbed the nerves that coursed through your entire body. Every hair on your body stood on its roots, awakened by the new thrill of music.

The lights turned on to the max, and the crowd went wild. Hands flew up in the air, the drinks in the opposite limb gambling on the edge of death.

It was music like you've never heard before.

"Holy shit," you said to yourself, the alcohol in your system taking its effect.

The man in the middle started singing, and you gasped as you took in the rest of his features. A good portion of his face and neck were covered in burn marks, as well as the top of his torso, which then spread across his arms. You awed.

How could someone who looked so damaged be so perfect?

Your eyes watched in wonder as your ears listened with delight. You made a mental note to thank Kai for dragging you into one of the best nights of your life.

So this is what college was supposed to be like.

You smiled, feeling the bricks fall off your shoulders. You stood straighter as your eyes opened wider, and shined even brighter.

This is so awesome.

You threw your hands in the air and let out a scream with the rest of the crowd. Kai catches sight of this and follows along with your mania, a laugh escaping her lips.

You were enjoying the aura of absolute chaos, but nothing had prepared you the moment your eyes caught his, staring right back at you. His mouth formed a devilish smile that made all the heat rush through your body in mere seconds.

"The girl in the red dress," he said into the microphone. Your eyes widened in unalloyed shock as they caught sight of the mischievous glint in his own. "Come out on stage with us."

What the fuck?

The crowd cheered louder and started to look around to find who he was referring to. They soon caught sight of you, who was still calculating the odds of you being the only girl in red.

The sea of people parted and formed a direct path from you to the stage, and you were honestly shell shocked.

Kai laughed and cheered you on.

"Congrats Karen, you've officially been promoted to Moses!" she cheered even louder.

"What, I—" you sputtered out.

Kai took her left hand and smacked your back, forcing you to stumble forward.

"Go!" she yelled at you through the howls of the crowd. "Get. Fucking. Laid!"

At that, the crowd burst into an explosion of screams. Whistles and hoots were all that was heard as your shaking legs made its way towards the stage.

You eventually made it to the edge, and the enigmatic guitarist leaned down to help you. Grasping your hand firmly in his, he hoisted you up easily.

"What's your name?" he leaned into your ear as he said it, his steady voice combating all other noises, and winning.

"Y/N," you said right back into his ear, a shiver coursing through your body as the current situation was doing its number on your sanity.

"Nice shoes Y/N," he said cooly, and your head started spinning.

"Uh, thank you—"

"Let's have a good time together," he smirked at you, who blushed madly.

You looked over at the rest of his bandmates. A young girl with a blonde fringe manning the second electric guitar, she looked at you and grinned widely at you. Eyes smiled shut and tongue jutting out, she threw you a peace sign in welcome.

You looked behind you and saw a strange-looking man playing both the bass and keyboard. You made eye contact with him and he smiled, only for him to completely change his expression and give you the stink-eye, much to your confusion and anxiety.

Finally, you looked over at the drummer who had dead-looking baby blue hair; he glanced at you and nodded briefly in acknowledgment.

"Don't mind the last two," the mysterious guitarist chuckled, "they're a lot more decent than they seem."

You nodded and smiled at him.

"So," he started. "Care to join in on the fun?"

You took a deep breath.

"Okay."

It was funny how you had started with not even being able to dance alone in your room. And now here you were, dancing along with countless strangers to music you never felt before.

scene three; ilysb

"You're new here, right?" the man said. He was sitting across from you with his head resting on his hand. His piercing blue eyes were focused only on you.

It had been about an hour since you stepped foot inside the hidden bar and thirty minutes since you were standing on stage with the band having the time of your life.

You looked over to the stage and saw your drunk friend Kai singing 'I Kissed a Girl,' microphone in her hands as she belted her heart out to the cheering crowd.

You couldn't help but chuckle, before turning your attention back to the enigmatic man staring intently at you.

"That's not slightly creepy at all," you answered jokingly.

The man chuckled slyly.

"I play here almost every night," he retorted coolly. "I would have definitely remembered you if you weren't new."

You nodded. Smooth.

"Fuck men!" you turned around to find Kai screaming into the microphone, one hand on the microphone stand and the other on the microphone itself. You sighed at the common occurrence.

"Fun friend you got," the man with burn marks said, attention also brought over to your crazed friend.

You sighed and nodded.

"I'm this close to dropping her," you said with no conviction.

He seemed to have caught on to your tone and answered accordingly.

"But you never will," he said.

"Yup," you nodded once more.

You looked over to him again, the alcohol in your body taking full effect.

"Wanna get out of here?" you asked him.

He looked at you with his eyebrow raised, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"And abandon your fun friend?" he asked you.

"Yes," you looked at him straight in the eyes as you said it.

"Sounds fun," he said, already standing up from his seat.

You followed suit, casting your drunk friend one last look before following the strange man out of the small speakeasy.

The cold night air greeted your body that clung tightly onto the limited warmth of your sweater jacket. You walked idly with the man standing beside you, the streets painted a dark vignette by the evening sky. The night suited him, you thought.

You let out a deep exhale which invaded the darkness with its cold color, the hues fighting until the dull white was engulfed by the overwhelming darkness of nightfall.

You looked up at the stars that were scattered across the sky, their white twinkle enrapturing the night sky with its light and color. Their light so bright that it couldn't be overthrown by the darkness of black. Instead, they were displayed up in the sky, allowed to show off their beauty with no restraints.

"Orion's in the sky," you observed quietly.

The man turned over to look at you.

"The constellation?" he asked as he too tilted his head up to watch the night sky.

"Yeah," you nodded, "I can't find the Pleiades, though."

Absentmindedly, your feet started moving in hopes to catch sight of the constellation. The dark-haired man watched you quizzically.

"Do you really think moving around will make them appear?" he asked you, who was now trudging farther and farther away. He sighed and started following you.

"There're so many buildings around," you groaned in your drunken state. "Can't a girl just see her stars when she wants to?"

He tilted his head in slight amusement and chuckled lowly.

"If it's the buildings you're worried about, I know where there's a field," he said. You turned around instantly.

"Show me this field, good sir."

"It's this way," he tilted his head over to the right, feet already walking towards its direction. You followed him, skipping.

You eventually were led towards an open field located on a small hill in the park. Wow, we had a park?

"Woah," you said in wonder. Your arms flying up from your sides as you spun around the grass, hair dancing in the breeze from your movements.

The man just watched you curiously, a small smile of endearment flickering on his lips.

You let out a big sigh of contempt and threw yourself down onto the grass floor, feeling at peace as the earthly bodies embraced you. The man who led you here followed suit, leaving little to no distance between your two figures as he laid down beside you.

"Can you see the Pleiades now?" he asked from beside you.

You looked up and examined the heavens, and your eye immediately catches the open star cluster that painted the sky. A gasp escapes your lips as you point up at the constellation you were looking for.

"There they are!" you squealed slightly, unable to control your excitement in your drunken state.

"Why'd you want to see them so badly?" he looked at you and asked.

"If you catch sight of Orion, then you're most likely gonna find the Pleiades too." You started, eyes focused eagerly on the stars. "There's this whole story behind them you know, about Orion and the Seven Sisters.

"It was said by Greek mythology that Orion fell in love with the sisters, and pined over them for 12 years. He would always chase after them in hopes that they would become his someday. But that was until one day Zeus decided to turn him and the sisters into stars. So Orion could chase them forever for the rest of eternity but never once be able to touch them."

"Wow," he said from beside you.

"Yeah," you said from beside him.

"You said they were the Seven Sisters," he said.

"Yeah?" you turned your head over to look at him, his eyes seemingly glowing under the star studded sky.

"But I can only see six at most," he stated.

"Oh," you turned your head back to the sky. "That's because those are the only ones visible to the naked eye. If you look through a telescope, a dozen more stars are visible."

"Is there a story behind that, too?" he asked.

"Yup," you stated and continued. "According to storytellers, Merope— one of the sisters, is hiding her face because she's the only one of the sisters who married a mortal and thus isn't respected for it.

"Her husband, Sisyphus isn't represented in the night sky either, cause he was condemned by Zeus to forever roll a stone up a hill in Hades only to watch it roll down again when he almost gets it to the top."

"That's..." his voice drifted off, "really sad."

You hummed in affirmation.

"You really like astronomy, huh?" he stated. "I'm assuming you're into astrology too?"

"Yeah," you answered.

"So, you're some type of zodiac girl," he said. "How quirky."

You scoffed.

"What type of music are you into?" he suddenly changed the subject, surprising you.

"I don't listen to music that much honestly," you said, surprising him, but not showing it on his face.

"Okay," he said. "Very quirky."

You laughed at yourself.

"Are you okay?" he asked you jokingly, maybe the alcohol was finally starting to get to him too. "Childhood trauma? Emotional baggage? Crazy ex-boyfriend?"

"Traumatizing college life," you said matter-of-factly. "And also just downright not having the time to listen to music."

"Spotify's expensive, too," you added.

"Ever heard of a radio?" he asked.

"Yes, but I can never concentrate on studying when music is on," you said.

"Ah," he said in a moment of realization. "It all makes perfect sense now. What's your major?"

"Organic chemistry," you said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Makes sense."

"Kindly enlighten me then, cause I can't make sense of anything going on in my life," you said.

"You're a young adult suffering from the expectations and academically-focused constructs of our society," he said.

"Damn," you started. "You're right."

You sighed and placed your attention back at the azure before you.

"The moon's crying," you stated.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"The moon feels sad," you answered vaguely.

"The moon is sad," he stated beside you, eyes now focused onto the heavenly body in question. "The moon's just a broken planet that needs the sun to make it shine."

"Just because it needs help doesn't mean their shine is any less beautiful," you said back.

A long silence passed between the two of you, he looked at you, whose focus was still set onto the night sky. Whatever had you so enchanted by them, he might never know, but as he watched your features bloom with the ethereal sparkle of night, the twinkle in your eyes matching— no, outshining that of the stars you looked so fondly upon, he just sighed softly.

"Whatever you say, zodiac girl."

scene four; still with you

You were walking home with him in the cold night air, wind dancing softly around both of your figures as the gentle shrill tickled your senses.

It was colder than usual, you thought. But maybe that was just from the thrill of not spending your nights like you usually did, alone in your bedroom studying a topic you couldn't care less about. You sighed.

When was the last time you were able to lay down on your bed listening to music?

You were grateful for Kai, who you just realized had been abandoned at the bar she forced you into. You prayed for your survival the following day. You say that, but in the end, you were nonetheless thankful for giving you a college experience other than cramming every day.

You thought about what you would have been doing if you weren't forced into the bar, and laughed at the predictability.

You finally made it to your front door.

"Goodnight," the blue-eyed man said to you.

"Yeah," you said back. "Thanks for walking me home."

He nodded and watched as you made your way over to your front door.

You stopped.

You didn't know if it was the alcohol in your system, the cold night air, the thrilling atmosphere of spontaneity, or all of the above. But right now, you weren't in the mood to answer any multiple-choice questions.

You wanted to live for once. You wanted to feel anything else other than the dread of an upcoming deadline or relief after a grueling exam.

For once, you wanted— needed to be free of the expectations and academically-centered constructs of society. Constructs that you never wanted to question until now.

Even if it was only for tonight, you wanted to do the thing you wanted to do.

Even if it turns into a mistake, you would gladly take it for a few minutes of freedom.

You turned around and ran towards the man whose names you realized you didn't even know. But you were too far gone to be stopped.

Your hands found the side of his face and pulled your faces close, eyes meeting and lips almost touching. You breathed nervously.

"Can I kiss you?" you asked suddenly.

Shock and confusion flickered before his eyes but disappeared just as quickly.

"Sure—" he said, and your lips finally connected.

The kiss lasted for mere seconds until you pulled away, flustered and drunk and confused.

What were you doing?

You turned back around to enter your home and scream at yourself.

How could you just throw yourself at him like that?

But suddenly, his hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back towards him, connecting your lips once more. You could have sworn you melted.

The kiss lasted much longer, lips moving against one another and breaths being mixed together in the cold night outside your apartment building. Your hands in his hair and his arms around your shaking frame.

You pulled away to catch your breath, your air puffing up in the chilly twilight.

You pulled onto the sleeve of his jacket and led him towards your apartment, rushing past the other tenants and employees, you quickly got on the elevator where more kisses were exchanged in a drunken haze.

The elevator doors opened, and the two of you rushed out with you guiding him to your door.

You hurriedly put in your key, hands slightly shaking, the door opens and you hastily go inside.

He comes into your small apartment and closes the door with his foot, the door meeting the frame with a soft thud. He pushes you against the wall and your lips meet once again.

You didn't know how much time had passed with his lips moving against yours and hands roaming across your body, the contact sending both heat and shivers to course through your entire being.

His lips moved to your jaw, slowly making its journey down to your neck. Your breath hitched.

Some more time passed with low moans and heavy breathing coming from the both of you, now laying on your twin-sized bed half-naked.

You looked out the window beside your bed and saw the stars and moon staring back at you, illuminating your figures in its magical glow.

It was like time didn't exist when you were engulfed in his arms, his lips peppering your body in kisses and bite marks causing you to moan softly. You wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling, with the moonlight shining softly on his features.

Your hands found themselves buried in his soft hair, time passing by faster as more clothes were being discarded around you.

"Y/N..." he said your name softly. His light voice passes by you, sending shivers down your spine.

Your breath hitched. Having no name to call out to, you whimpered instead. Your bodies intertwined together under the dim light of your apartment, and your heart taking timid steps towards him, tripping and falling deeper and deeper.

It was colder than usual, the low-pitched hum of the air conditioner you forgot to turn off comforting you from afar. Your body shivered more, not used to the sensations. It felt good, it felt really good, but there was something about it that pained you and made you want to fall apart.

The unfamiliarity of the pleasure and sweat clouded your mind and made you think back to the times when you were studying instead. This was far different than the dull absence your mind feels when reviewing all your lessons. But even then, thinking back to the simple emotions that came from your textbooks and notes, maybe these simple feelings were special to you too.

The night progressed further, and time was lost once and for all in the midst of your shared pleasure, the night turning darker as the sparkling sky glowed onto your sweaty figures.

You both reached your climax and breathed heavily, eyes meeting and foreheads touching in what seemed like a hazy afterglow, both your minds fogged and judgments clouded.

Your hand delicately went up to touch his cheek, his eyes shimmering in the glow of the night sky. He looked at you with the faintest smile. Underneath it was painted the most beautiful purple, his broken and damaged face sending your heart into a fit of shooting stars.

His body collapsed next to you on the small bed, arms encasing you tightly against his warm body.

You looked over to the window beside your bed. The sun was slowly rising, and the moon began to fade away into the brightening sky.

You felt your eyes slowly closing, finally giving in to the sleep you denied yourself all night.

Goodbye moon.

And just as the moon left your sky that February sunrise, so did the man who slept next to you that very next day.

#dabi x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha oneshot #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #mha oneshot #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #dabi fanfic #dabi fanfiction #dabi oneshot #happy birthday kaiiii #mwah mwah !!

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snkpolls · 5 years ago

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SnK Chapter 123 Poll Results

The chapter 123 poll closed with 1,732 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: alooulla, @attraversiamo19, @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @reikukaja, @shifter-lines

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,732 Responses

This chapter was down slightly from the previous two but it hardly matters considering ¾ of the fandom have given it the highest possible rating. The manga continues to excite and impress month after month and it shows.

The end has come…

I'm both excited and horrified. I'm still hoping for another twist!

"Eren has a secret plan that doesnt involve genocide" And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself!

I loved the flashbacks. It was the calm before the storm and we saw the 104th happy for one last time. 💔

Am I allowed to ground my 19 year old fictional adopted son

Amazing and beautifully drawn. I can’t wait for the next chapter

Genocide - Xenocide - Mass Murder - the friggin' APOCALYPSE -- whatever you want to call it, it's not the answer! Unless you're a god. And you know? I'm starting to think Eren is beyond our human judgment.

At first I was disappointed, I couldn’t believe that Eren would choose such a path especially since you have to consider just how much he values life and believes everyone deserves a chance ‘because they were born into this world’. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was simply no other way.

The world: we shall banish this devils on that island Eren: NO U

I loved everything about this chapter. It had great humor, drama, violence, bombastic imagery...everything that I love about SNK

Gotta give Isayama the credit, he really put effort and thought in all of this.

I'm having withdrawals already, where's the next chapter?????

cow car cow car cow car cow car cow car

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,772 Responses

In a chapter filled with sweet flashback moments, it was “Eren’s declaration of intentions through Paths” that snagged nearly ⅓ of the vote. “Eren and Mikasa’s intimate late night conversation” (17.8%) and “The 104th throwing one last party” (13%) rounded out the top three.

I feel overwhelmed. It was bittersweet. I enjoyed reading the chapter from Mikasa's POV, plus her moments with Eren, Levi and the clown, Hanji saying "Hello car!", Sasha eating... I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.

Eren Jaeger is best boy <3

Call me biased, I love wholesome moments so much, and we FINALLY see Levi and Hange after EIGHT whole months

Mikasa eating ice cream is the most adorable thing ever

Levi in a suit made me cry, scream, and nut all at once. I was left confused with emotions for an hour on my bed, nearly comatose at 1:30pm. By the time I realized what had happened, I looked at my phone again and saw the screenshots I took and started hyperventilating so hard I was drooling. It was great. 11/10, would do it again.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together, and it was so... Sad to see Armin ramble at Mikasa whilst she looks at him with uncertainty as he desperately tries to convince himself that Eren is on their side. Also, the moments with the car and Levi with the clown are genuinely hysterical.

Would be die from cuteness overload watching Mikasa eating ice cream!

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,778 Responses

Three characters dominated this question’s responses, leaving the rest relegated to a small portion of the graph. Where have we heard that before?

43.5% of you thought Eren was the MVP of this chapter, while nearly 31% thought it was Mikasa. At a somewhat distant third, Levi is in at just shy of 18%.I can’t be sure why this distribution is the way it is, but my guess is because saving immigrant children is really in season right now, but not nearly as much as genocide.

Eren is a GOAT!!!

OMG! Levi how I've missed you.

MIKASA'S NARRATION AND ACTUAL AGENCY. GIMME MORE!

WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT ABOUT THE CAR? 1,761 Responses

Poll worker #8 here. I haven’t read the rest of the results yet, but I’d guess the lighthearted nature of this question is going to be sorely needed given some of the other content in this chapter.

Onyankopon’s realization that the Paradisians really are just Like That™ got first place in this question, being voted for by a solid 40.9% of respondents. Hange’s “Hello, car!” secured second place with 23.7% of the vote, and Levi, who knows that the gang is Like That™, got third place with a clean 19% for his prediction.

AFTER LAST MONTH’S CLIFFHANGER, WE IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO FLASHBACKS! WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SHIFT? 1,753 Responses

More than two-thirds of respondents really enjoyed the flashbacks juxtaposed with last month’s cliffhanger. 17% of you liked them, but would’ve preferred that this chapter start in the present, and 9.7% were glad they were there, but thought that they took up too many pages.

The flashback in general might not have been necessary but it was very much appreciated for once. It took me back to the comedy panels Isayama used to scatter in other arcs. It may also serve the purpose of making us remember how much we love these characters before they kill them all in front of us because Yams is sadistic like that and there is no way he won't enjoy our tragic tears. Love him though.

I didn't mind the flashbacks coz it was so nice to see characters like Sasha, Levi and Hange again :'(

I honestly thought the flashback was important, it showed when and why Eren was changing, to later show us what it had led to. I feel like more flashbacks are important before we truly dwell into the rumbling fully.

I really appreciated the flashbacks, the chapter overall was amazing.

MIKASA WONDERS IF EREN’S EVER REALLY CHANGED, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,761 Responses

The air around how Eren is viewed has changed immensely since chapter 1, but has he? The large majority at 77.3% feel he’s developed, but is still the same core person. 12% think he’s a completely different person, and 8.5% don’t believe he’s ever changed one bit in essence.

Eren doesn't really change, all he did was to focus his grudge on the people outside the walls after he knew the truth about the titans and I believe that Mikasa never knew Eren, properly.

He is the same as he ever was, what changed was our perception of him.

He's experienced more of life and developed his perspective under ever-changing circumstances, as we all do, but his core principles appear to have been the same since the day he was born - freedom is his right, and he will have it by any means necessary.

Eren will fight others for what he sees as freedom. Unfortunate, since we can never truly be free of the limitations we place on each other simply by virtue of existing together, but then Eren has never been particularly thorough in thinking things through.

He has changed in the way of his mental state. He is no longer “just” Eren. He is more like his father than ever, and he’s probably having an identity crisis.

Everyone changes as they grow older, it's impossible not to. Especially given that Eren also has the Memories of multiple persons. He even states so in his conversation with Reiner that he now understands them. So he did change, that not the question. But his will the live a life in freedom and destroying whoever tries to take this away from his, this didn't change at all.

He always had the potential to become who he is now, but he was not always a monster. he used to be a fundamentally good person with a dark side. he felt compassion towards innocents and regret/remorse over their deaths. now he locked that compassion away and let that dark side overwhelm him. he is broken.

His ideals are the same but they've amplified dangerously

There’s two sides to Eren. His good side never changed, but his potential for darkness has deepened.

It's sad that his idea of saving what he thought was all of humanity turned out to really only be an idea of saving Paradis. At the start of the series, it gave him an empathetic nature. Now, he's rather cold.

He has changed since the moment he touched Historia's hand and saw that 「THAT SCENERY」

WHAT DO YOU INTERPRET BY EREN BEING "SPACED OUT", AS ARMIN PUTS IT? 1,729 Responses

Eren was acting rather odd this chapter, and while Armin picked up on it he didn’t seem to know why. We have a pretty even split, with 47.3% thinking he’s having second thoughts about going through with a plan that would put these civilians in harm; meanwhile 45.5% believe he already knows they’re going to die. 3.3% think he’s just in awe of the new people and technology.

A mix of all the above

He is seeing his future memories and want's to see for himself whether or not they are the real truth, and the more he sees the more he comes to find out it's exactly as his memories have guided him

He sees the technology and the people and wonders how humans can treat each other in such horrible ways.

Being consumed but all the past Attack on Titans while experimenting things first time himself. Kind of like a deja-vu.

Both indecision and sadness as well as general depression due to his experiences and having to come to terms with what he sees as the only solution.

Coming to terms with the reality of the outside world, and Paradis' place in this world

General sadness and indecision. He’s seen all this before in memories and I think he’s just broken-hearted

He's searching for any reason not to go through with the plans he's already forming, but at every turn he just sees more that enforces his path (the mistreatment of Eldian refugees, the outreach commission that just wants to use Paradise as a scapegoat). He's spaced out because he isn't looking at little things like ice cream or cars like the rest of them, but instead trying to find any last spark of hope.

Realizing that this place is filled with many people and useful technology but he has to do the plan that will harm everything outside the walls for his own kind

Eren spaced out because he realized how much harm he'll put on his friends but he has no choice but to do it.

He feels nothing because he is a psychopath

Yum, tasty human rumbling patties

WHAT DID EREN MEAN WHEN, AFTER SHEDDING A TEAR, HE SAID NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO THE BOY FROM THE MARKET YET? 1,751 Responses

After acting strange upon arriving in Marley, Eren’s seen crying for seemingly no reason over the boy they met. 44.2% believe he’s seen the boy die in the rumbling, 35.4% believe that Eren knows it’s a cruel world this boy has to live in and is fearful of his future, and 18% think Eren knows something else terrible will happen to him.

When I saw that tear running down Eren's cheek, I suddenly felt so emotional that I cried too.

I certainly enjoy the vagueness of character moments such as these. Before I state my interpretation of the scene, I don't think eren knows the boy's fate like an omniscient being. He can only assume the future he saw when touching Hisu's hand is the cruel fate that will snuff the life out of this poor child. I'd say all of the above, minus the "He saw" bit.

He already had the intention of killing every non eldian and has an internal conflict because of this

He already knows he rumbled the world from Grisha's memory so I think he's mourning for every innocents that died bc of that.

He didn’t see the boy specifically. He saw the rumbling. Connecting to the boy makes him sad cuz he probably won’t make it through the rumbling. That’s why he’ll talk to the boy Personally 1on1 (memory shard), something like “you have to do X when time comes to survive”.

He saw himself in the boy and remembered the day he lost his home and his mum.

He's reminding himself of the day everything was taken from him and where he's forced to live in a refugee camp. Also he'll need to boy to get in Fort Slava.

I think hearing all those people talk about how they'll punish the kid reminded him of Grisha's sister getting killed, and he believes its only a matter of time for the boy to receive a similar fate.

The boy and his family most likely will reject and hate Eren after finding out that he is an Eldian. Eren knows that they are good people and they don't deserve to die, but even them are going to push the Eldians away, that why peace between Eldians and humanity isn't possible in Eren's eyes.

The boy was just like him, a refugee. The difference is that the child wasn’t alone in the world, and was able to stay cheerful despite everything.

He knows he finna die in the rumbling

WHY DID EREN ASK MIKASA WHAT HE IS TO HER? 1,735 Responses

Some fantastic responses here. The majority of you seem to think Eren is seeking some form of reassurance; that he is a good person, and that he matters to her, but that the scene is not particularly framed as romantic, which as an answer only achieved third place. A number of responses focused on the fact that he might be testing if the Ackerbond is true; though it is debatable whether or not he knows of its existence at this point. Given his access to memories and Yelena’s presence on Paradis, it is not impossible that he does. At the core of the responses though, was the idea that he’s just a young man feeling guilty and seeking reassurance that he matters and is cared for.

He was testing to see if her response would be the same as how he saw it in his partial future vision.

He was questioning how free she was. Is her ties to him because of a debt owned from saving her? An obligation to family? Ackerman loyalty? He wants her love for him to be a genuine choice of hers - freedom.

He was trying to figure out whether or not the Ackerbond is true.

He's depressed and needs to know he matters

I think Eren was trying to find out if his friends love him for being "Eren", or if they simply stay by him because of loyalty. I think he was trying to find the strength to go through with the plan.

Let's break it down. The context of the situation is eren's sadness over the people he will have to kill especially the kids as he was watching the kid even eariler. now, eren is worried that mikasa's care for him is based on the belief that he's a good person who saves kids but it's not who he truly is, he has it in him to kill kids and he will. So is her care genuine if it's build upon an idealized image she has of him? He asks because he has to know and he asks and he asks again and it takes this many attempts to get mikasa to say her answer slowly. I think isayama wanted to create the impression that mikasa had a different answer in mind(that she's in love with him) then the one she gave and eren could see that so he took it to mean that " family" wasn't wholehearted. He didn't find the confidence he looked for, that her familal love was why she cared for him and not her misplaced loyalty to a saint. He had a shred of doubt that he will take to his meeting with zeke who will tell him about the ackerbond

Maybe he wanted to hear that he is just Eren and not the savior of Paradis Island or some sort of devil.

DO YOU THINK THE SCENE BETWEEN EREN AND MIKASA WAS FRAMED AS ROMANTIC? 1,761 Responses

Now this scene was very interesting. 47% of you think the scene was ‘somewhat’ romantic; that it had romantic elements to it, that it was romantic on Mikasa’s part but not Eren’s, or some other reason, but was not clear cut enough to be deemed a true romantic scene. Nonetheless, ‘yes’ was on a respectable 35% whilst ‘no’ trailed at 17%. The idea that Eren had seen this moment before and was hoping for a different answer as part of some test of whether or not the future could be changed was a common response, as in the previous question.

He loves Mikasa, thus he wants to know if Mikasa eventually feels the same, so he could have a reason not to destroy the whole world

He doesn't understand Mikasa's attachment to him

Eren has romantic feelings to Mikasa and most likely knows about her feelings to him. He was looking for a reason to change his path and start a family instead of crushing the world. The same was with Grisha, who gave up on his plan and decided to live a peaceful life with his family.

Confirm that the memories are true and to see if His future and fate with Mikasa and their relationship was already decided.

He saw this moment and hoped that Mikasa would answer differently - to see that the future isn't set in stone.

He wanted to know someone was there for him. I feel like once Eren changed he saw the true colors of the people around him and emailed that no one truly understood how he was feeling or tried to get him to talk his feelings out. I honestly don’t think that Eren likes Mikasa like that and I don’t think Mikasa knows Eren as much as she thinks she does.

He wanted to see if the future he saw was preordained. Mikasa answering that and the squad arriving with "perfect timing" made him realize it was, indeed, inevitable.

He was trying to make up his mind if either Mikasa was bound to him because of her Ackerman blood or if she had authentic feelings for him.

he was worried or afraid that he stole Mikasa's freedom

WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE 104TH DRINKING TOGETHER? 1,745 Responses

In a series like this, a happy and peaceful moment like the 104th passing out together after a night spent drinking was sincerely appreciated. ~980 out of 1,745 of you said that was your favorite part of the drinking scene. 15% liked the part where Yung Fez crashed into Eren best, while 13.6% of you preferred the part where Sasha encouraged underaged drinking, and 8.4% preferred Connie and Jean’s late night resupply trip.

WHO WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME IN THE PASSED OUT SCENE? 1,753 Responses

Here we have a question with no wrong answer! Most of you seem to agree that the scene in its entirety was pretty wholesome and relaxed, something we have been missing for quite a while. That said, we did force you to pick your favourite parts, and Mikasa sleeping whilst resting against Eren won, with Eren surrounded by his friends a close second. A fitting result, for a chapter focused so much on them.

I love the wholesome flashbacks!!! like ugh yes my children deserve 2 be happy :(

Can I join the 104th getting drunk please?!

Drunk 104th squad, best squad.

I feel like the wholesomeness of the drunk shenanigans is a terrifying indication that something awful is about to happen. We needed the other flashbacks but that wasn’t necessary. It seems significant somehow.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together

WHY DO YOU THINK EREN LEFT WHEN HE DID? 1,733 Responses

Eren quietly left after one last night of partying with his friends, but why then? 60.9% say he left immediately following the man at the podium speaking due to it signifying to him peace wasn’t a plausible option. 32.3% think he had been planning to leave at that specific time for a while no matter what; and 4.6% say his conversation with Mikasa lead to him choosing to leave the next day.

Either the man's words led him to believe peace was impossible or he's a slave to the predetermined future he's seen.

He became disheartened and made up his mind to carry his own plan

He knew less people would notice and nobody could follow him so by the time they decided to chase him he'd be safe

He got some insight from the man on the podium on how they view Paradis, I felt like he left to truly confirm that this was their belief and peace wasn't an option. Hence why during the marly arc it was said that Eren vanished and lived in Marley for a while before attacking during the festival. + he was following the flow of his vision.

He had further proof for why the future that he saw couldn’t be stopped anymore.

Hearing the terrible speech from someone who they hoped would support him confirmed Eren’s suspicions that the world really is their enemy.

His plan to leave had been forming for some time. He was willing to try and search for some of these non-violent solutions the others were aimed for, but watching that speech just confirmed to him that there were no peaceful solutions for the Eldians of Paradise. Even the people most sympathetic to Eldians in general, still wanted to lay waste to the Paradise Eldians. Eren does care about his friends, and to him, this is the only way to go forward that ensures they will be safe.

He had it all planned and was looking for a reason not to do it, but didn't find any :(

That activist's words were just the cherry on top confirmation that peace was near impossible.

The Eren of the future made him decide to go

DO YOU THINK MIKASA’S ANSWER TO EREN HAD ANY EFFECT ON HIS ACTIONS? 1,749 Responses

Mikasa regrets what she said to Eren and blames herself for his actions, is she right? 63.5% agree it could have changed something, but never his end goal. 22.6% don’t think it had any bearing on Eren’s actions or goal, and 11.9% believe he would have changed his path completely upon a different response.

Absolutely unsure. It might have made a difference, maybe not. In the end, it's the question if one can change the future they have seen thanks to the Attack Titan, I guess. Or if it's inevitable as Eren said.

Communication with her and his friends as a whole could've possibly changed things

I think that’s exactly what Eren needed to hear. He refuses to lose anymore family. It reaffirmed him.

If mikasa had said anything different than what she said, it would confirm that the future he saw was not definite. That the world would not be ending. That there was a different way. And he could have taken that path.

He might’ve not done what he did in 112 to Mikasa. A fight could’ve been avoided.

I think Eren would've most certainly stayed with his family (yes I call them family) and changed his plan to align with what Mikasa and Armin favor at the moment, simply crushing the allied forces with the rumbling rather than crushing all of Planet Earth.

He was only trying to convince himself Mikasa was not taking care of him only because her Ackerman blood

It might not have changed his plan completely, but I believe it would have mattered in some way. Perhaps he subconsciously wanted her to talk him out of it.

I think he already knew the answer she was going to give, and by asking only confirmed what he knew. If she would have confessed it would have thrown Eren off for a moment only for him to stick to his plan no matter the cost.

It just affected his mood, not his decisions.

We honestly couldn't possibly know, and I think that is the beauty and the point of the entire scene.

I have no clue but I must scream AAAAA

We'll never know. And I think that's the point.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S TITAN FORMING? 1,760 Responses

Despite the unusual shape and size of Eren’s final titan form, only 5% expressed that they where not a fan of it. The remaining 95% of the fandom was impressed with “WOAH” (42%) being the word that best sums things up

Bruh he can't even move in that form

Bridge titan

His titan is a homage to Godzilla, which was a homage to nuclear weapons so things have really come full circle

I think it just looks cool

I think he'll be over 500 meters. He'll be gigantic. The devil that oversees the destruction of the world. Godzilla Titan. It'll make the size of the Wallossals look like regular pure titans compared to the colossus.

It's a monstrous form to emphasise his monstrous actions.

Maybe it's a literal manifestation of activating the founder's powers from Ymir, but it can be symbolic of him being "unstoppable" at this point.

Renewed rotisserie chicken titan with SPIKES

This is pure conjecture but I think the titan is immobile. The limbs are tiny and if the ribs aren't imbedded in the ground they'll certainly cause a lot of friction. Also, it it very cage-like, and like the houses of Shiganshina it looks like the Colossus Titans are avoiding it. So.., perhaps people will be able to hide out inside it?

What if the two “spine flaps” develop into wings?

DO YOU THINK THE SIZE AND/OR SHAPE OF EREN’S TITAN WILL BE IMPORTANT? 1,740 Responses

The general consensus is that Eren’s 15117 meter titan is going to have some unique significance. ~20% don’t think it will, and the rest have varying thoughts. Let’s take a look at them:

I figure it had something to with the founding titan power since we saw something similar with Rod when turned into a titan but, other than that I'm not sure

I think it is just a sign that brute force it will not effective to defeat him. That there is another way to stop him.

I think it’s the original form of the centispine

Chekhov’s plane

"size and shape of Eren's TITAN"? I like you very much poll people 😂

It will resemble the size of Yimr’s Founding Titan

It'd be very funny if he just...couldn't move.

No one engages thicc mode for no reason

Somewhat. Seems like the size would make it not be able to move, but it seems like a central node of sorts.

THE WALL TITANS ARE ABLE TO TURN AROUND, AND THEY’RE COMING FROM WALL MARIA TOO! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE START OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A RUMBLING? 1,743 Responses

The fandom was unswayed by speculation about the titans position in the walls and all the things that could go wrong, so it was time for bragging rights. “I knew Eren would have control of them” was the most popular answer (37.5%).

Curiosity about the rest of Paradis was secondary. “I hope we get to see the status of the other walls” (31.8%) and “They’re causing so much destruction to Paradis” (28.2%) were in the second and third spots. The write-ins were filled with questions about swimming titans. In retrospect, we should’ve had that as an option.

Can those Titans really travel across the ocean? They're big and all, but can they grasp the necessary movements to go through water? They were put in place to destroy THE ISLAND, after all. How slow would they be at that? Rumbling sounds dramatic but there's still plenty of time before shit starts to go down in other nations

Eren seems to be trying to minimize as much damage to Paradis as you can see how the colossal titans are walking organized in a single-file line.

I don't care I'm just worried about the Blouse family!

I hope wall Rose & Sina are ok. If not, then are favs families are in danger.

I knew Eren was going all out on this, meaning making all the walls collapse and this scene was just awe-inspiring and terrifying, holly hell

I hate this, is that an acceptable answer?

I wish we would’ve gotten to see more of it.

I'm worried about everyone, even the people from Paradis. I trust Eren's powers but I don't think it's the right choice. I have hopes that his plan turns out bigger than this.

This is a perfect excuse to see the northern district

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF EREN SPEAKING TO ALL ELDIANS THROUGH PATHS? 1,741 Responses

The numbers are in, and JUST shy of 90% of you thought it was really cool to see Eren use PATHS FM to talk to every single Eldian. A few others don’t love the prominence of the P A T H S. Let’s look at a few other thoughts:

A mix of the two. Loved it, incredible dramatic effect, but what the actual fuck PATHS can't do anymore

Awesome. It's important to the plan that Eldians on the mainland heard his message too.

Chilling. Oh my god, the king is speaking.

Fucking awesome and Annie 100% heard him talking

Hahaha what the sweet fucc

@everyone

It feels weird the way he announced it... something’s up.

Tell everyone he knows his true intentions. Or makes someone make a choice based on what he's planned, which is the real outcome hes seen.

Very Interesting. Annie will likely hear and not be too thrilled.

WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY THOUGHT ABOUT EREN’S MONOLOGUE? 1,751 Responses

The snk fandom? Divided on Eren’s actions? Who could have predicted this!? 31.2% of respondents said that, above all else, they were primarily glad to see Eren’s thoughts and plans finally revealed. Trailing close behind, like Shia Lebeauf, 31% said that Eren’s monologue will go down as one of the greatest speeches in anime/manga history.

23.2% were disturbed that Eren’s plan was about killing billions of people. 11.1% of voters were just Connie Springer on 190 computers, saying, “It didn’t seem like Eren. It gives me hope that this isn’t his true plan.”

You’ll notice that there’s a seemingly missing part of the graph. Nothing is actually missing there, that’s just like, sixty different 1 vote responses. Three cheers for technological limitations!

Both awed and disturbed

Epic, not quite as epic as Erwin's speech from The Nameless Soldiers, but the artwork and transitions between real world and path world were amazing and really added a lot.

He's making himself into an enemy that the world will unite to defeat.

I am sad to see the decision he took. I do understand his motives and I also feel like there's no other way, the cycle of war and hatred would continue until one of the two people is exterminated. Let's not forget that Marley and other nations want to exterminate the eldians. In a sense, he's trying to protect his people, it's a sort of self defense. That's not to say it's the best way.

I don’t necessarily believe it since his flashback/pov is not even shown yet.

Well yeah, I'm in to what I think he's planning

well, it's clear that Eren will be the final antagonist.

Yuuki Kaiji's going to snatch all of us when this hits the anime

EVERY EREN IS HOT. TRUE OR FALSE? 1,772 Responses

Dedication to Eren in all his forms is clearly evident as 52.9% classify Eren’s nightmarish final titan form as hot.

I hope Eren’s face doesn’t stay that messed up

Eren is a chad and needs more shirtless panels.

Eren's face looks like an Oni mask in the last panel

DO YOU THINK MIKASA BEING PRESENT IN THE PATHS DIMENSION DECIDES THAT SHE HAS ELDIAN BLOOD, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 1,742 Responses

We thought this was an important question to ask, as many fans are confused as to the exact nature of Mikasa’s heritage and blood. Therefore, a lot of the responses we got were from fans who thought it was obvious she had Eldian blood; despite this, the majority of you still think she cannot turn into a titan, perhaps because the Ackerman genome prevents it. Nonetheless, a small number of fans also seem to think she has no Eldian blood at all, and is only in the paths dimension due to touching Armin.

Ackerman is said to be sub product of titan experiment. It is possible that Eldian Empire injected Titan Shifter's spinal fluid to non eldian, including Ackerman. They have maybe little DNA of Eldian that related to Titan transformation.

Ackermans are titan experients that use the paths ... so Im not surprised she is there ... I dont think that necessarily means she can turn into a titan

Don't Ackermans have access to PATHS as well, even though they don't have Eldian blood? Or do they have a separate PATHS dimension? I think Levi's on the brink of death situation will answer this

Hasn't it been clear for a long time that she has Eldian blood?

I always thought the Ackermans were of Eldian blood.

I didn't even knew there was doubt

No, she touched Armin

No, she's there because she's touching Armin

She always was eldian you dolts lol

DO YOU THINK EREN TRULY INTENDS TO DESTROY THE WORLD, OR DO YOU THINK HE’S BLUFFING? 1,755 Responses

What’s the expression, “Nothing new under the sun?” Eren’s been talking about destroying the entire world since Season 1, and nearly 60% (58.2, technically) of you guys think he’s actually about to do it. Just over a third (33.9%) of you think he’s totally bluffing, and if I can do math at at least a third grade level, that leaves 7.9% of you guys unsure about whether or not he’s telling the truth.

IF YOU BELIEVE HE’S BEING HONEST ABOUT HIS INTENTIONS, DO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL BE STOPPED? 1,705 Responses

Regardless of how we view the full rumbling, 60% of the fandom think he’ll be stopped one way or another. Armin and Mikasa stopping the genocide was the top answer (37.8%) followed by the Survey Corps (7.1%). Zeke saving his little brother (3%) narrowly edged out the Warriors (2.5%). As always, we had plenty of write ins.

Survey Corps x Warriors team up to stop the mad lad himself

All mentioned groups will finally work together to stop him

All of these options are possible, and I'm scared.

Armin and Reiner will probably be the ones to stop him.

Armin Arlert, Reiner (Helos) Braun, and Annie will team up to stop him. titan Reiner will ride on titan Armin's shoulders and blend into the colossal crowd, until they get close enough to stop Eren. Then Annie, awaken by the total rumbling, will use her scream to cause the collosals to consume each other. the end

Armin or Mikasa will have to kill him

At this point, i believe that Zeke, The Warriors and probably someone from the old gang will join to stop him.

Both sides like the paradise/survey corps and Marley/the warriors/rest of the world will work the together as one to take down one powerful enemy, it’s eren Yeager and his army of wall Titans that will destroy the outside lands

Eren said when Armin was dying that Armin would be the one to save the world. Maybe it's something he saw from the future.

Everyone else except Zeke and a few others (like Yelena and Floch) will be involved in stopping him as well as making sure Zeke doesn't get his will either

He won't stop out of his own free will, but something might go wrong and the rumbling will get interrupted before the whole world is gone.

I don't think he will be (or even could be) stopped, but I believe the SC and the warriors will still try to stop him

Yes, every nation in the world + Paradis will gang up in a Great Alliance

I hope he can be stopped somehow but I don’t know how. Poor Ymir might have to make another awful sacrifice. Ugh. Or historia.

I think he will be stopped. I think he WANTS to be stopped. But I'm not sure by who and how

Reiner will stop him, at the cost of both of their lives

I'd like to choose the first option but I don't think A-M will succeed only with 'talks'. I believe they'll be forced to do 'something more' than it.

No "Team Effort" answer?

Ymir will stop him

IF EREN IS NOT BLUFFING, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HIS ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIED? 1,759 Responses

Eren’s seemingly finally revealed his plan, and it’s drastic. But is it justified? We got an incredibly close split, showing just how divisive Eren’s actions are, but also that there’s a lot of support on both sides. By a hair, at 50.4%, the fandom is overall condemning of Eren, while the other half at 49.6% can see where he’s coming from.

This chapter made me to understand Eren better. I found that he hasn't changed and he is really in pain. Eren didn't turn into a cruel monster who hates his friends. He is full of pain because he believes that his fate is about killing a lot of innocent people. He was trying to avoid it as much as he could but for some reason the vision of the future was always right. I believe that Eren isn't free but is a big slave of his own beliefs. He is sure that he cannot change anything. Yet he forgot that his freedom is about his decisions and actions he takes.

There is no such thing as self-defense genocide, as much part of the fandom wants to force it to be neither is ever justifiable

There is more to Eren's plan. Perhaps it's a bluff? Or a warning/threat? It will go much deeper than What It appears now.

Opens a lot of interpretations, which I am not a fan of. Eren still has not proven himself to be a villain or a hero. Will have to wait

We need a way to put Eren down. He’s already disposed of Zeke’s plan, now he’s calling out for help. He’s taunting every Eldian via paths to try and stop him, to please stop him. Armin has been foreshadowed as the one to save humanity, and I think now he will live up to it to protect the ones he loves.

I don´t understand how you could justify Eren´s doings. To save his homeland, to protect his family is not enough to justify this genocide. I hardly sympathize with him, and killing each and everyone of his enemies is not the right solution.

The chapter was great but seriously ppl who are trying to justify eren's plan and motives just need to calm the fuck down

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DO YOU THINK THAT EREN IS THE VILLAIN IN THIS STORY? 1,769 Responses

Token Eren supporter here. This graph speaks for itself, so instead of rattling off numbers at you guys for like, the fifteenth time this post, here are some fun, relevant facts:

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

There are an estimated 12 times more trees on the planet than there are stars in the galaxy. That’s a LOT of places to check for a centispine.

Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong

Those are some neat facts! That’s probably because I’m a genius and I’m way smarter than everyone, because I support Eren Jaeger. Now before you REEEEE in the comments, here are the thoughts of the unwashed masses:

At this point, I see Eren is a example of 'You either die a hero or live long enough to you see yourself as the villian' and somewhat of anti-Villain.

Eren is not *the* villain, but he is *a* villain. SNK has always emphasised multiple points of view. There will never be The Villain.

WHICH STATEMENT MOST CLOSELY MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN’S PLAN? 1,749 Responses

Thoughts on Eren’s plan are very interesting to look at, so let’s look at these numbers on the graph in another way. While the majority, at 57.8% agree that Eren’s plan is the best route, they admit it’s cruel. So while this number outshines the total 34.9% that don’t side with him, both groups of not siding with him outshine the 7.3% that gave Eren’s plan the best moral ranking you could out of the options.

Even I, eternally wary of Eren and all extremist characters in general, was surprised that his plan was unlimited destruction rather than offensive attacks until capitulation. The wholesale destruction of every living being without actually knowing whether they personally hate and fear Paradis is vicious and fearful beyond what I expected from him.

Eren is a great MC for his grey areas so I don't like people reducing him to just evil when it's clear that it's his desperation and love for the Eldians what led him to this. I hope when the anime comes the public will see the bigger scheme and not just hear the words of a "genocidal" because that isn't Isayama's intention at all.

Eren did nothing wrong! But seriously I question if there was really another way since the ones ruling the rest of the world are determined to end paradisians if not all eldians. Eren being able to see glimpses of the future is a curse which drained him and ultimately he wished for things to be different but the world would not allow that.

It upset me because genocide and I want to think there’s another twist coming but I wouldn’t say it’s ooc if the spade is indeed a spade.

Already knew his plan is mass genocide. Now my only hope is for his friends to stop and defeat him.

I think the outcome of his plan will be really bad. Even though I understand his intentions and don't even think he's a villain at all, someone will have to stop him and "set him free" just like he did with Ymir. I think that we're gonna lose Eren forever and that makes me really heartbroken.

#ErenDidNothingWrong2k19

DO YOU THINK HISTORIA'S ALLEGIANCE IS WITH EREN? DO YOU THINK THEY'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER? 1,736 Responses

Historia is still a big question mark at this point, do you think she’s in line with Eren now that we know what he wants? A little less than ⅔, at 63.5% say yes they’re working together, whereas about ⅓, at 36.5% still aren’t convinced she’s aligned herself with him.

This is Eren moving his Chess piece. I’m excited to see Historia make her move. Then to see how the Warriors and rest of the world are going to counterattack.

I'd love to see Historia's POV sooner or later

Eren already made up his mind since he talked with Yelena and Historia before his depart.

What does Hisu think about all the kids who weren't lucky enough to be born within the walls being crushed to death? Is she still determined to rush out there and tell them that they should have been born? Because there are gonna be a loooot of kids who wish they weren't born if Eren succeeds.

I hope we'll soon get to see Historia & Annie.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,746 Responses

With the series winding to a close, we want it all and we want it now! While the Rumbling (27.2%), present day Levi and Hange (24.8%), and Historia (24.2%) are the top 3, requests for Annie have been up slightly with the last two chapters. The possibility of her being in the PATHS realm is strong. She was mentioned 21 times in the write-ins.

I just. Need Annie. For god's sake I can't go on reading snk without her I-

I want more rumbling and less flashbacks.

I hope to see Annie in the next one, that's all

The last question was unfair, there are so many thing I want to see next :D of course annie historia levi hange, as always. But I chose the eren-fez boy memory because it's the most relevant part now and I fear that if we don't see it now we'll never see it.

I want to see Annie and Hange/Levi AND rumbling AND more drunk 104th AND Historia and OMG pls show all in next 40 pages Yams thankx

Rumbling and Warriors! I want to see jean, reiner, and connie react to earth devil eren who is transforming in front of them. Mayne we'll see a reunion from jean/connie with their former brother figure Reiner. They'll work together.

i WANT TO SEE THE RUMBLING GOING FULL FORCE WITH NO HALF ASS STOP!!

I understand that flasbacks are very important, but I hope to see present-time action more

Less flashbacks, more rumble

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Levi anda hange come back in beg you

Why can't I pick all the options for the last question :(((

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,651 Responses

Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field, followed distantly by Tumblr. The mind absolutely boggles trying to understand why there could have been an exodus of Tumblr users that used to discuss the series there. I still remain thoroughly convinced that you four that voted snapchat either all know each other, or you’re all voting it for the meme. Nonetheless, unironically, jokes aside, in all seriousness, so there can be no doubt, genuinely, we appreciate poll takers from all platforms!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 366 Responses

Awesome!!! Cruel, but Awesome!!!

God I had missed Levi so much

AoT has been one heck of a villain origin story

STEP ON ME, DADDY EREN

AoT has been delivering amazing chapters non-stop, and I fucking love it

Just hope floch lives tbh

My heart is shattered because of Eren. I truly love him and don't him to suffer anymore. I don't want to see Mikasa and Armin suffering for him again (I will never recover from chapter 112. I literally cried my eyes out when I read it).

I believe in Eren even if I don't like the fact that he's ready to kill (as it seems) the rest of the world. We still need some more fb and the one we got was amazing. It was really moving. I can't wait to see what happens next

For the past year, the manga just continues peaking and peaking. Eren is the greatest character in the story and these last 5 chapters have each been contender for the greatest chapter.

Incredible, Isayama has nailed how to tie flashbacks into what's happening presently in the story. This is by far the darkest chapter yet... can't wait to see what's next.

Best chapter of the entire story in my opinion and possibly the best chapter of all manga.

I hope this doesn't go the Code Geass route.

Best. Chapter. Ever. It puts everything together. I can't wait to see the next chapters, especially Eren's POV, though I kinda think we might only be getting it in the very last chapter.

The logistic problems of getting the wall titans to the other nations alone is enough to make me question whether they'll ever make it before Eren is stopped. Literally how are they going to get across the ocean? Stick rafts (I mean we've seen Eren's titan build a stick house before so that would be quite fun to me actually)? I sincerely doubt Eren is going to Paths-transmit a frontcrawl swimming lesson to them, and if they just trundle across the ocean floor they're going to run out of energy since neither sunlight nor moonlight can penetrate to that depth. AND they're gonna crush every fucking thing between them and ocean on their way!! Those things are far too massive to manoeuvre themselves around Paradis civilians. I just...don't see how this can work even if we DON'T look at the moral implications!

Founding Titan is overpowered as fuck. I can't stop thinking about that panel from chapter 2, when Reiner says Eren is the worst person to have the founding titan. I guess he was right

I felt that it was odd for eren to declare his motive especially when he knows Eldians from Marley can here it as well, I felt that he had ulterior motives.

Who needs cell phones when you have Paths?

Although I knew it was coming, I feel disappointed that the series went this way. Worldwide destruction is cartoonishly evil so I had been hoping that my fears wouldn't be realized. If we had to have this, I would have rather at least followed Eren through the events and gotten his direct PoV, rather than having his PoV become the new mystery drawn out over the course of a few years' worth of chapters, just to end up with this easily-guessed endgame, and only getting brief flashbacks to make us understand how it got to this point. I'm really underwhelmed by this arc.

Didnt think he'd legit kill every human. Doesnt even make sense. He doesnt really know what people think outside of what he's seen/what Kiyomi says. Talk about being ignorant.

Honestly, this may be dumb of me but I was expecting something a bit more nuanced? And, maybe it is we'll have to see. I'm not disappointed, but i guess I'm not all that surprised either. I'm more like, 'huh. i see'

I don't buy that he really wants to annihilate everyone outside Paradis (think of fez kid and family!) so I'm mostly curious why he needs to tell a lie only Subjects of Ymir will hear.

@the question "is eren the villain". I answered no but he's definetely *a* villain in this story.

Before reading this chapter, I was expecting to see mass destruction and I thought I was gonna be really sad while reading it, but I really like how there was a flashback. I know after the cliffhanger from last chapter, I didn't want a change of perspective, but I was actually happy to see the squad together in Marley because I do miss them all together ...I also really loved Levi in the flashback. It was hilarious when the clown thought he was a kid and I loved how he saved that kid who pick-pocketed Sasha. Seeing him the flash back made me realize how much I missed him and I really hope he is alive the next time we see him because he deserves to survive the end.

Christ, Eren is scary. I really hope he doesn't succeed, his plan won't bring peace

Drunk 104th squad, is the best squad

ELDIA 4 EVER

EM SCENES WERE SO GOOD AND BITTERSWEET!

Eren is about to pull a Lelouch so much.

Eren is more like Light then Lelouch

Eren is risking everybody on Paradis since he destroyed the three walls. It's not like he gave a delay for everybody to hide behind Wall Sina and unleash destruction with Wall Rose and Maria. The battlefield happens to be lucky because the city is deserted and Shiganshina is the southermonst part of the walled section. But in the meantime Eren is terrorizing the entire population on the island and might even kill those in the way. He's not doing this for Eldian supremacy either since mainland Eldians fall under the scope of his attack. Hell even their allies, Hizuru, are on his target list.

Everything about this chapter is SAD, eren leave his beatiful life with his friends, make a big responsibility on his shoulder ALONE, His friends denying about his behaviour change, forced to see a horror scenery in his mind (from future or past memories), and so yeah i hope eren will be "saved" by someone dont make him a mass murderer because his decided future. Someone like mikasa and armin, please..

the artwork in this chapter was quite fantastic. Some really good panels, and the last double page was just phenomenal. 11/10 for the artwork.

Given Eren specified that the walls' hardening had been undone, I think we will not only see Annie return given her hardened crystal may shatter, but I think next chapter we will see the return of all of the characters we haven't seen for a while as they look onto the horizon to see what has begun

There have been many warning signs throughout the manga that Eren’s ultimate goals have always been extreme, extreme to the point of complete annihilation, starting with the desire of completely annihilating the titans and then everyone who isn’t a subject of Ymir.

I definitely liked that we get a flashback, showing our favorite characters together one last time before everything goes down. But I REALLY think it’s about time we get to see Levi & Hange, especially Annie again in the next chapter.

I don't understand how so many people in the fandom are shocked that Eren wants to destroy the world, it was pretty obvious for a while. Also I'm really disturbed how many of his rabid stans still defends him... I mean, c'mon, you can love him and understand his reasons, but justify him and rooting for him is just fucked up.

I enjoyed it overall, but i did not expect or like the fact that the flashback took around 70% of the chapter. Specially when the flashback itself does not provide any kind of new information that we did not see in other chapters, other than the fact of showing us the Paradise main cast being on Marley for the first time, wich i loved.

Nothing can justify genocide, but I understand and feel sorry for him. This whole chapter is about him crying out for help, trying to change the future events he’s already seen, hoping desperately that SOMETHING will go differently and that he won’t have to do what he has to. But the world of Attack On Titan is a cruel place and the conflict between Eldia and the rest of the world won’t go away until one of them is destroyed. Zeke chose the world, Eren chose his country, his people and his friends.

I like to think that Eren at his core really does only wish to save the people he loves and promised to protect and fight for, and that he doesn't really want genocide and will even soften up soon, even if he needs help to be snapped out of it first. I also like to think his whole being, mind and ideology and all got convoluted when mingled together with the wills and memories of so many other previous titan holders, and that not everything is his own genuine will or wish.

I really hope Eren's solution will mirror the 'miracle' that happened between Uri and Kenny back in Ch. 69. Uri asked whether it was violence that averted their path of mutual destruction, and while Kenny makes a snarky remark about how Uri grabbed Kenny with his titanized hand, I think there's some truth in that. Perhaps Eren will clutch the world with the wall titans and stop the rumbling just short? Though I can't see Eren going to his knees like Uri did, so this may just be wishful thinking. Guess we'll see next month.

I really love how Eren turned out although some might think him as a heartless person. But that scene with him silently shedding a tear shows that he still has emotions and feels empathy & sympathy towards others. He is still very clear of his goal and plan and his courage to do what he thinks it's right even though everyone has doubts towards him really shows his courage to always move forward no matter what. I don't think destroying the whole world was his true plan after all, it just seemed way too far fetched for me. I can't wait for the next chapter to reveal more of his intentions and plan.

I really love the chapter because it was wholesome and tragic at same time which the author is good at balancing bittersweet stuff to his work which I love and respect him for doing it

I think it is time to the Ackermans to shine in this final battle. They cannot be controled by the FT unlike the rest of the eldians (including Historia and Zeke). I bet my money to Mikasa to become the "reincarnation of Helos" and defeat Eren (with a tons of angst betwixt). Kill your beloved one? sound like another twisted and evil idea from Isayama to make us suffer, his readers.

I thought I'll say that but here I am. I believed there is enough good in Eren Yeager to fight for all people. I was wrong and that hurts. I'm totally suing him.

I thought Ymir would do the rumbling though. Ymir, please show yourself more!

I’m so sad.. I love you Eren.. please use your pretty brain even though I know you’re trying so damn hard I love you and you deserve better

Isayama was attempting murder with that Eren and Mikasa conversation. I never thought he would make Eren ask something like "what am I to you?" to Mikasa in fucking canon and I almost died while reading.

i really miss when everything was about just killing titans, even tho i really like how the story is developing at this point. i could never imagined it wiil be like this.

look guys I know diplomacy isnt flashy and you want Eren to be the tormented anti-hero fighting for the little people. but I swear some of you are thirteen years old with the level of nuance you can apparently handle. Gabi is devil incarnate but Eren is justified in murdering billions of people he's never met or talked to because he's afraid they might not like him? You need to be better than this.

Looking forward to seeing the carnage Eren unleashes after years of abuse from Marley and the outside world.

Masterpiece!!! Love it!! It’s like you got a little bit of everything in this chapter! Mikasa POV, The Rumbling, a little bit of fan service, the Eren and mikasa talk .. 10/10

Eren using titans to kill his enemies? That the first king. This is the reason everyone hates Eldians, Eren what the fuck

Kiyomi is the most fishy character of Snk. I have noticed Kiyomi seldom makes eye contacts with the Survey Corps during the talk. She definitely hides info and lies to them.

Remember that you would most likely not be on Paradis. You would most likely be minding your own business, rocking your child to sleep or visiting your grandma, when that wall of titans came to crush the life out of you for the sin of being born in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if we thought that was unacceptable when it happened to Eren and co. then we must consider it unacceptable for every other innocent civilian caught in the crosshairs of war.

Seeing the "hero" descending to full villain and it being true would be crushingly sad, but cool and very daring at the same time. I'm not sure if it's definitely what Isayama is doing, but it'd be very ballsy and I'd adknowledge that. I love irony and it would be very ironic so, yeah.

Shows how miserable Eren's life truly is. He clearly doesn't want to do what he is doing but also understands that it NEEDS to be done. It can be only him and nobody else. How we went from an angry boi to a literal god.

SnK is the only series that can make me simultaneously want to see Eren fucking obliterate everything, but also want to see "those days" come back.

Starting of with the *many* elephants in this rom, I really liked how Issayma portrayed the colossal Titans marching. It looks so gloomy and dark. The flashback parts were so wholesome, especially for a a chapter about genocide. Having this shift in tone from the start was a great idea. I'm still not a fan of Eren destroying the entire world. I know it's the probably the only definite solution but I'm starting to like Zeke's Plan more now lol

Team Eren. Reset the world!

The beginning was so freaking cute. By the end, I felt disturbed and disappointed. I thought Yams was doing something that didn't make sense. But now I strongly feel that we still haven't had Eren's real plan revealed to us. Eren intends to sacrifice himself, letting his friends defeat him to convince the world to see Paradis in a different light and make peace possible.

Zook faceplanting the sand is a power move

What a chapter! Feels like last final breath before shit will hit the fan for real, can't wait for next chapter...

#snk poll #snk polls #snk chapter 123 #snk 123 #snk poll results

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meditationadvise · 5 years ago

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7 Powerful Books That Will Unleash The Hidden Potential Of Your Mind

" A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to maintain its side."

There it is: your mind -all leashed-up, bored, bookless and chasing its very own tail in the edge. It's time to unleash it. It's time to throw it back into the surprising waters of wonder and admiration. It's time to sidetrack it from the all as well familiar tail (or story, to wit), as well as give it a juicy carrot to chase around rather. Seven juicy carrots, to be exact.

So, shop that leash, open up your mind, snuggle with your ideal close friend, and dive precisely into the complying with mind-unleashing publications. However keep the light on. As Groucho Marx wittily believed, " Beyond a pet dog, a publication is guy's best buddy. Within a pet dog it's too dark to check out."

1.) "The Beginning of Infinity" by David Deutsche

" We never ever recognize any type of information prior to translating it via concepts. All monitorings are, as Popper put it, theory-laden, and thus imperfect, as all our concepts are."

From epistemology and also quantum fungibility to ecological values and societal advancement, David Deutsche takes us on a provocative trip right into addressing a single inquiry: Is there a restriction to exactly what can be comprehended? He comes at a mind-expending solution of “no” by diving deep into the broadening waters of epistemology and also ontology. He profoundly claims that our understanding of anything is constantly at the “beginning of infinity” and also there will certainly constantly be a boundless amount a lot more left for us to recognize. Basically speculating that, with exact and versatile understanding, anything is feasible unless it is restricted by the laws of physics.

Highly sensible as well as integrating, The beginning of Infinity releases us into greater thinking on the path towards much better and also far better descriptions. He takes us from parochial, obsolete methods of believing to the idea of universality and upgraded ways of thinking of the cosmos as a thing to be gradually evolved right into making use of ever-expanding modern technologies. Therefore bridging the void from guy to overman. As he explained, "There is just one method of believing that is qualified of making progress, or of enduring over time, as well as that is the means of seeking great descriptions with creativity and also objection."

2.) ' Circulation: The Psychology of Optimal Experience' by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

" The majority of satisfying activities are not all-natural, they demand an effort that initially one is unwilling to make. Once the communication begins to offer feedback to the person's abilities, it typically begins to be intrinsically rewarding."

Thanks to Csikszentmihalyi, the concept of the “flow state” has come to be an essential aspect of our social awakening. The optimum experience is gained through deep self-control in a particular field/art/sport that gives inherent reward, difficulty, and also comments, therefore integrating self-confidence, focus, control, flexibility, and also connectivity. Time stops or decreases. Instabilities go away. We quit respecting what others consider us. A creative unraveling of something bigger shows up. Every little thing flows easily in interconnected unison with us as its synergistic spearhead. In brief: we stop believing and also simply do.

By just asking the concern, " When are people most pleased?" Csikszentmihalyi, with time checked study, identifies flow states as the response. Professional athletes call it "remaining in the area," mystics have actually defined it as “ecstasy,” and artists term it “rapture.” Releasing ideal experience is concerning doing what we enjoy as a pathway toward better meaning, happiness, and also a self of higher intricacy. By doing just what we love in challenging ways, we take advantage of ideal experience right into our lives. This book powerfully discusses the psychology of this important process.

3.) "Phi: A Trip from the Mind to the Soul' by Giulio Tononi

" Dirty ideas, like dirty waters, can serve 2 objectives only: to hide what lies beneath, which is our ignorance, or to earn the shallow appear deep"

Phi takes the viewers on a mind-altering trip through the nature of consciousness. It interweaves scientific research, art, as well as the imagination with golden proportions, Fibonacci series, as well as fractal cosmology. The visitor has the happiness of viewing the world through such masters as Galileo, Alan Turing, Darwin and Francis Crick, amongst others. From neuroscience to pseudoscience, from deep introspection to mindful meditation, Tononi illuminates on exactly how awareness is a progressing, ever-deepening recognition of ourselves as finite, souls in a limitless universe.

We find out just how awareness is integrated information and just how the power of that combination requires miraculous duty and also credulity. It instructs exactly how the brain is the seat of our understandings, as well as is an innovative force par quality, as well as can also create brand-new forms and also brand-new qualia. It shows just how, by growing awareness, deep space comes increasingly more into being, and synthesizes the one and the many, the ego as well as the eco, the individual and the interdependence of all points into a linked force of Nature.

4.) "The Art of Fear" by Kristen Ulmer

"" Every little thing is great" is really a copout, a stuck area, an obstruction to the exploration of who and just what you are broadening right into higher and even more, as well as the advancement of humankind."

The Art of fear has to do with curiously accepting fear rather compared to conquering or repressing it. It has to do with restoring our understanding of fear from scratch. It has to do with realizing that Anxiety is just one of 10,000 employees at You Integrated, as well as how they all require a voice. Yet Fear many of all, lest all voices become quelched darkness. The key to fear, she discusses, is wondering regarding it, consequently utilizing its power rather compared to overcoming it. In between guts and curiosity is whatever we should be fearless.

Ulmer's individual trip with anxiety at some point led her to examine with Zen masters, where she discovered a mindfulness device called "Shift" which moves our perspective of worry from oblivious repression to aggressive curiosity, thus aligning it authentically with our real nature. The standard tenet being this: As opposed to quelching fear, equip it, by being curious as well as examining instead of judgmental and implicating. Honor it with deep respect so it does not operate secretly in twisted means below the surface.

5.) "Endgame: The Problem of Human being' by Derrick Jensen

" Property One: People is not and could never ever be sustainable. This is specifically real for commercial civilization."

Endgame will certainly take every little thing you think you understand about being a social remaining in an apparently useful society as well as turn it on its head. Absolutely except the regular statist, neither the faithful obedient resident. Endgame has to do with the vital demand to right away take apart the unhealthy human being that surrounds us. Endgame is a scathing, surging review against the harmful, unsustainable, and also ecologically unhealthy man-machine that is our contemporary culture.

Breaking guide down right into a series of easy yet increasingly intriguing facilities, Jensen takes us on a psychedelic as well as convincing flight into the undesirable stubborn belly of the fierce, ecocidal beast that is modern human being. His standard property is straightforward: Industrial people is unsustainable. It's not an inquiry of “if” but a question of “when” it's going to fail.

He suggests that the longer it takes people to fall, the worse the tragedy will be. In that light, there are 2 points we must be doing: Causing the autumn sooner rather than later, and preparing to endure it. His attitude is caustic as well as not so serious, however all the better for the shock worth it offers. This book actually squashes the box we're all so desperately attempting to assume beyond. A free (and maybe less hostile) read is Beyond Human being by Daniel Quinn.

6.) Trickster Makes this Globe: Mischief, Myth, and Art by Lewis Hyde

" Better to run with detachment, then, much better to have a method but instill it with a little humor, best, to have no way at all but to have rather the wit constantly making one's method anew from the materials at hand."

Trickster Makes This World is a mythological cornerstone for Spiritual Clowns and also practicing trickster-gods the world over, digging into the intestines of the prehistoric significance of sacred play and also brawler actions. Hyde checks out just how trickster numbers represent the “disruptive imagination” that inverts, reorganizes, and also overturns standard wisdom. From Raven to Coyote, Ape to Crow, Hermes to Loki, Eshu to Legba, Hyde reveals connections in between mythical tricksters that develop a concealed network that links social divides.

The ideal part regarding this publication is its capability to reveal just how mythology ends up being reality. “Trickster consciousness'” is a crucial component of human imagination. It reveals that we are the gods of renewal as well as rebirth, if we decide to be. We are the designers of mischief and also mayhem. We are the trickster gods in training. Charlatan is us, and also we are Charlatan. We are the supreme boundary-crossers. No manmade policies or legislations could have us, unless we let them. Also planetary regulations and also regulations can barely contain us. Charlatan makes this globe by tearing the old world down through high wit, ethical ambiguity, absurdity, and critical transgression and also then dancings in the ashes of its devastation. It is specifically from the dancing, the kicking up of dirt and also ash, where endure new globes emerge.

7.) 'Ethical Tribes: Feeling, Reason, and also the Void Between Us as well as Them' by Joshua Greene

" We need a kind of believing that allows teams with clashing principles to cohabit and flourish. To puts it simply, we require a metamorality. We need a moral system that settles disagreements amongst groups with different moral ideals, equally as common first-order morality solves differences among individuals with various egocentric rate of interests."

Moral Tribes is hands-on moral psychology and a revitalizing brand-new take on utilitarianism. Greene wraps video game theory, evolutionary biology, as well as neuroscience into a wonderful absorbable package to strengthen his concept of cognition, which builds elegantly into a theory of moral psychology. A sweeping synthesis of neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy, Ethical People opens up a container of psychosocial worms that takes the principle of principles to the next level, exposing exactly how we are incredibly well-adept at fixing the problem in between “Me” and “Us,” through the concept of the “tribe,” yet how we are ridiculously less-adept at solving the meta-dilemma between “Us” and “Them.”

Greene's principle of metamorlity squares this psychosocial circle by counterintuitively applying utilitarianism to our base, pavlovian response to morality (advanced morality) by coming to be aware of our apathy in order to end up being a lot more understanding. By enhancing humankind as opposed to nationalism, and life patriotism rather of patriotic nationalism, we turn the tables on both prejudice as well as lethargy and we come to be a lot more caring as well as empathetic toward others. When we celebrate variety rather than trying to pack the square secure of manifest destiny right into the round hole of social association, we turn the tables on the monkey-mind's one-dimensional moral tribalism and we introduce Joshua Greene's multi-dimensional metamorality.

#how to meditate #meditation #meditation music #spiritual

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undertheinfluencerd · 3 years ago

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Sk8 The Infinity: The 10 Best Characters | ScreenRant

Funimation’s Sk8 The Infinity is a lot like other sports anime. A gaggle of main characters centered around skateboarding but rather than a sanctioned event, “S” is more of an underground event.

RELATED: Sk8 The Infinity Cast & Character Guide

Reki, the underdog protagonist, brings together the group of skaters that will take down Adam, the rich and eccentric co-founder of “S.” Not in any particular order, the best characters from Sk8 are the ones who want to be their best for themselves and their friends, even if it takes some time to get there.

10 Ainosuke Shinbo

There has to be a villain and Ainosuke, known in the “S” world as Adam, is arguably the worst character but the best villain. And fans get a glimpse of his potential redemption by the end of season 1. By day, Ainosuke Shinbo is a politician that grew up at the manipulative words of his abusive aunties and with a butler’s son as his only friend against his father’s judgment.

When Tadashi, the aforementioned butler’s son, introduced young Ainosuke to skateboarding he fell in love, but in his adulthood, he used the sport to transform “S” into something more selfish. He wanted to be the best and stay the best, physically injuring those that might get in his way. And when Langa showed up giving him a run for his money, Adam still did not slow down his pursuit until Langa pulled him out of the “zone” and back into the fun of skating. While his future is undetermined, he pushes the other main characters to pursue skating with a competitive passion and learns a few lessons himself.

9 Reki Kyan

Reki is a second year in high school who spends his free time working at a skate shop, building skateboards, and competing in “S.” He qualifies as the optimistic underdog protagonist who loves the sport he participates in but doesn’t consider himself the best.

Reki is a selfless friend; he trains Langa and stands up for Miya, simply because he wants to see his friends safe and successful. His biggest fault becomes his sudden fear of falling behind and lack of self-worth after he sees how quickly Langa progresses in skateboarding. With the realization that he is in fact a strong skater and builds impressive boards unique to the rider, Reki regains his passion and admits to his lapse in judgment. His friends never leave his side as he maneuvers through his melancholy, proving he’s a good person, friend, and main character.

8 Langa Hasegawa

Originally a snowboarder from Canada, Langa Hasegawa didn’t think he would be interested in any extracurricular activities when he moved to Okinawa. His father died and he was the person who trained and snowboarded with Langa regularly. After he lost his father he never thought he would come back out of his shell or pursue another sport, until he met Reki.

RELATED: 5 Cutest Moments Between Langa & Reki in Sk8 The Infinity

Langa seems to be falling for Reki and in a conversation with his mom about liking someone he gets confused when she assumes it’s a girl. There hasn’t been any canon confirmation of their relationship but it is often speculated on for future Sk8 content. Aside from the future potential of their relationship, Langa realizes throughout the season that Reki makes skateboarding fun and when he skates without him it just feels like work he doesn’t want to be doing. He hopes to bring that same realization to his rival, Adam, aka Ainosuke.

7 Kojiro Nanjo

Kojiro Nanjo, usually referred to as Joe, is one of the founders of the underground competition, “S.” He skates more aggressively and because of his strong build he is able to use leg power to push off of walls and arm power to balance on his board in unconventional ways.

By day, he owns and operates an Italian restaurant, “Sia la luce,” before donning his nighttime skating persona for “S” events. He and Koaru Sakurayashiki grew up with Ainosuke and maintained their friendship even after Ainosuke/Adam went off the rails. Joe is protective; Even as he picks on his closest friend, Cherry, he is also the first one to run to his aid when Cherry is injured and hospitalized by Adam.

6 Kaoru Sakurayashiki

Kaoru, better known as Cherry Blossom, is a famous calligraphy artist by day and a masked, technologically advanced skater by night. He keeps the two personas separate as best he can, even scolding Reki when he calls him out by his skate name at a public event. Cherry is the third founder of “S” and uses his artificially intelligent skateboard, Carla, to calculate his moves.

Koaru comes across as a calm, polite, and intellectual individual and while this extends into his Cherry persona, he adds a little roughness and competitive nature when he’s skating. Despite his cold shoulder toward Joe and even some of the others, he is always ready and willing to assist his friends with advice.

5 Tadashi Kikuchi

Tadashi didn’t start as a significant character and revealed himself as “Snake” during an “S” event so that he could take down his boss, Ainosuke/Adam so that he would focus more on his politics rather than his skating. Tadashi was the butler’s son growing up in the Shindo household, eventually becoming Ainosuke’s right hand as they became adults. He blames himself for Ainosuke’s skating obsession and only later in the season realizes that it’s because it is his escape from the pressures of his family.

Tadashi skates with elegance as he dances through his moves and since he never competed before the final tournament, everyone saw his moves as something he derived from Adam when in actuality, he was the one who taught Adam/Ainosuke all of his moves. He is dedicated to his friend and maintains his skate identity for the sake of Ainosuke’s career.

4 Hiromi Higa

Better known as “Shadow,” Hiromi rarely goes by his real name unless it is in the flower shop he works at. At the florist, he is positive, determined to win over his boss, and usually surrounded by pastel colors to match his energy. When he’s skating he performs under a rock-and-roll clown persona with prankster moves to take out his opponents. His signature move is throwing “pop-it” fireworks to disorient his competition, probably being the reason he was introduced as an antagonist.

That role changes after he becomes a mentor to Reki, Langa, and Miya. As Hiromi and as Shadow, he is protective over his friends and often looked at as the “dad” simply because he’s older than the 3 young protagonists and is always the driver when they’re stuck in a bind, like needing last-minute rides to “S.”

3 Miya Chinen

Miya Chinen doesn’t have a skate persona because he simply is who he is and skates to get better each time. He is a middle schooler with dreams of becoming a member of Japan’s national team. Mastering the ollie in under two or three months is mostly unheard of, according to Reki, but Miya mastered it in only two weeks.

Due to his uncanny abilities, he lost friends as he won more awards and it wasn’t until Reki and Langa came into his life that he truly started to feel like he had a community again.

2 Shokichi Oka

Shokichi is a minor character but plays a large role in Reki’s life. He is the skate shop owner at “DOPE SKETCH” and Langa and Reki’s boss. He is accompanied by his fennec fox, Sketchy, who often bites Reki and Langa but snuggles close to Shokichi.

RELATED: Sk8 The Infinity Announces New Anime Project

Shokichi cares deeply about his employees and even forbids Reki from delivering skateboards after he sustains an injury from a race with Shadow. He also understands Reki because of their similar relationship to skating and not feeling like they are good enough; When he finds Reki beaten in an alleyway, he advises him that he only let himself get beat up because he “hated himself right now” but that wasn’t who he really is and he would find his way back to skating because he loved it.

1 Koyomi Kyan

Koyomi is Reki’s younger sister. She doesn’t have a large role but during her screen time, she shows her concern for Reki when he was sad and even tries to encourage him, telling him how cool he looks when he’s skateboarding to try and bring his spirits up.

Unexpectedly but impressively, she tops off the happy ending of season 1 with a quick showoff on Reki’s skateboard. She reacts so casually by turning back to her family and throwing a peace sign.

NEXT: 10 Shows To Watch If You Enjoyed Skate The Infinity

The post Sk8 The Infinity: The 10 Best Characters | ScreenRant appeared first on undertheinfluencerd.net.

#Undertheinfluence #weed

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thornstocutyouwith · 4 years ago

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|| The Basics || Name: Calypso Piper Hisoka Nickname(s): Caly( Only by family) Age: 12/18-30 (Depending) ➥Birthday: September 17, 2152 ➥Birthplace: New York ➥Sign: Virgo Moon: Taurus Mercury: Libra Venus: Mars: Nationality: Half Japanese- Half American Hometown: New York Current Residence: Living with his family/Homeless. Occupation: Student/Bounty Hunter Income: $0-$10,000 ( roughly) Talents/Skills: Yo-yo tricks, playing the guitar, playing the piano, lying, sorting things, playing the drums, martial arts, hiding, singing,tracking, lockpicking, stage Magic, acting. Salary: None Birth order: Youngest Child. Gender: Male ➥Preferred Pronouns: He, him, his Sexual Preference: Unknown Species: Human Intelligence Level: 113 MBTI: ISTP Introvert(44%) Sensing(1%) Thinking(25%) Perceiving(61%) You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (44%) You have marginal or no preference of Sensing over Intuition (1%) You have moderate preference of Thinking over Feeling (25%) You have distinct preference of Perceiving over Judging (61%). {Bio} (Coming eventually) || Personal & Relationships|| Relationship skills: Aware of his own Feelings, Self sufficiency, resilience, acceptance, doesn't like to be touched or handled by people he doesn't know. Parents: Drama and Ashlin Status: Unknown how he feels about them. Siblings: Lucy and Lucas Status: Strained, mostly because he's blackmailing them for their incest activities. Significant Others: Unknown (9) Ex-Significant Others: Unknown ( 9) Children: None Best Friends: Unknown( 3) Pets: None Rivals: Unknown Enemies: Unknown ( A lot) Education: High School ( Dropped out a few months before graduation) Strengths: Creativity, Curiosity, Bravery, Zest, social intelligence, playfulness, forceful, spontaneous, adventurous, independent, creative. Weaknesses: Obstructive, Pushy, Loose-tongued, Undisciplined, Sloppy, Aggressive, Chaotic, Vague, Reckless, arrogant, selfish. Introvert or Extrovert?: Introvert How does the character deal with anger?: Usually by taking it out on other things or people, mostly other things. ➥With sadness?: He'll go into hiding. ➥With conflict?: He tries to avoid it, but when he can't, he make sure to end it. ➥With change?: He's fine with change, out with the old and all that. ➥With loss?: He can't stand thinking of losing anyone. He will break down if he's particularly close to the person. But he tries not to get too close to people. What does the character want out of life? To just do what he wants to, really. What would the character like to change in his/her life? Probably that he's strayed too far away from his family, that he hardly even knows them in adulthood. What motivates this character? Getting money, having freedom, having fun, taking risks. What frightens this character? The dark, Ghosts, falling, animals. What makes this character happy? Books, music, risks, video games, candy. Is the character judgmental of others? Yes. Is the character generous or stingy? He is stingy. Is the character generally polite or rude? He is rude. Who were they in school? The energetic mute. Occupation they wanted as a child: To be in a band. Living conditions growing up: Middle Living conditions now: Poor Criminal Record: Breaking and entering, theft, stealing cars, assault, reckless endangerment of an underage child, illegal use of explosives, drugs, driving and drinking, fleeing a cop, identity theft, illegal hacking. How does Character see himself/herself? Reckless, brave, cunning, smart How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Worthless and stupid. How self-confident is the character? Pretty self-confident. Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Emotions, for the most part. What would most embarrass this character? Having to show his softer side in public. Morality (Bold One Per Section): Lawful / Neutral / Chaotic ||| Good / Gray / Evil - You are 47.2% Evil. You are 64.1% Chaotic. Religious Belief: None Glasses or contact lenses?: Glasses Character Tropes: Catalyst Hero, Trickster, Fool, Shadow, The Child, The Hermit, The Devil, The Priest, Addict, Monkey, Dragon, Clown, Beggar, Destroyer, Detective, Visionary. Primary Goals In Life: Following his dreams and being free to do what he wants with his life. Character's short-term goals in life: Not dying. Getting cash from bounty's. Sex. Threatening to expose his siblings incest. Character's long-term goals in life: Visiting other countries. Exposing his siblings incest to their parents. Languages Known: English, Japanese Secrets: He knows about his brother and sister's incest. He is a sex addict. As well as a sadist, a sexual sadist ( On occasion). He killed one of his girlfriends. Hates cats. Loves watching children's tv shows, still. Most of the things that happened to him at school. Is a sexual deviant. ( more will be added later. ) Deepest secret: Has a journal of his fears and secrets. Biggest fear: Fear of being bound. (Merinthophobia) Happiest memory: The day he got his first electric guitar. Loneliest moment: When one of his teachers removed him from class and told him he would grow up to be worthless and stupid, then just let him sitting in the hall. Quirks/Mannerisms/Habits: Is a habitual liar and has made up a family that does not exist. Eats like a child even as an adult. Believes in ghosts. Obsessed with children's Cartoons. Shows up unannounced. Always steals the sweets. Has a leather fetish. Is embarrassed of their family heritage. Takes food off other people's plates without asking. Does not like to share hygiene items like hairbrushes, chap-stick, or razors. Keeps a marker on them at all times so they can draw weird things in public restrooms. Has unresolved childhood issues. Is constantly found only partially dressed. Has a weakness for games of chance. Never leaves home without wearing pants, but never wears pants while at home. Is scared of Neon colors. Always blows bubbles in to their drink when they have a straw, even as an adult. Has attempted voodoo. Dresses as a vampire at every costume party, fancy dress party, Halloween, and formal event. Makes paperclip jewelry. Won't drink without a straw. Has had sex with more people than they have seriously dated. Cannot sleep while in the vicinity of a cat. Gets lost all the time. Colors their hair crazy colors every other week. Likes to file their fingernails to sharp points because it makes them feel more dangerous. Is totally responsible for everything that goes wrong. Knows that they are being watched (by the readers). Has an accent that no one knows how to place. Is a heavy sleeper. Thinks cats can see their soul. Sneezes uncontrollably whenever someone talks about cats, reads something about them, or looks at illustrations of any type featuring them, but has no allergy to interacting with the animal itself. Is left-handed, but tries to pass as being right-handed. Wears either mismatched socks or shoelaces. Has a tendency of laughing at the most inappropriate times. Is double-jointed. Treats all of their friends like they are personal evil minions. Goes to the gym at 3am because 'That's when the ghost is there.' Wears removable tattoos. Steals things from people they think need to be punished for something. Has very bad taste in relationships. Talks in their sleep. Eye-rolling, Potty mouth, Snapping fingers, Stuttering, Toying with objects before them, binge drinking, smokes, eats a lot of sugar, is addicted to video games, Still plays with children's toys, clubbing, picks at mouth with his tongue. Loves anime. Savvies: Music, Tech, Fact, Media Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): Rebel, Punk, Goth, Steampunk, Cosplay. How does he/she dress?: Mostly black or dark yet colorful colors on normal days. Usually with purposefully placed tears in the pants and such, and risky looking outfits. Loves mesh, baggy, tight fitting and/or leathery clothing. Hobbies: Playing the electric guitar, piano and drums. Singing. Hunting bounties for cash. Boardgames. Gambling. Chess. Cosplaying. Crafts. Keeping a journal. Learning an instrument. Legos. Modeling. Origami. Reading. Videogame's. Renaissance Faire. Writing Music/songs. Speech patterns: Accented, mellow, chilled, stuttering. Disabilities: Dyslexic, Epileptic. Greatest flaw: Being a risk taker. Best quality: Easily figuring out and controlling a situation. Illnesses/Allergies/Allergic/exe: Seizures, Migraines Addictions: Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Food. || Physical || Hair Colour: Light Brown Eye Colour: Bright blue Skin Colour: Tan Body Modifications: Has several ear piercing, tongue piercings, lip piercings and chest and lower. Build: Slender / Scrawny / Bony / Fit / Athletic / Herculean / Babyfat / Pudgy / Obese / Other Height: 6′9″ Weight: 146 Health: Very low Distinguishing features: his ears a slightly pointed. Has very, very faint freckles over the bridge of his nose. Scars/Birthmarks: Has several birthmarks on his body, on under his left eye, another two on the right side of his face, five on his back, one inside his ear, and three on his left arm. Along with those, are several scars from his recklessness as a child, one of which cuts down on the nostril of the right side of his nose. Another on his neck and four on his shoulder. As well as a ton on his knee's and legs. Abilities/Powers: Prophecy Construction Restrictions: He hasn't unlocked his powers fully yet, if at all really. The power triggers sever seizures that incapacitate him and prevent him from learning how to use his powers at the current moment. And this will continue to happen in the foreseeable future, even if he is able to figure out the easiest part of it, that is the prophetic visions he receives while having a seizure. This power also has other unknown effects and restrictions to him. || Favorites || Favorite Food: Candy Favorite Drink: Koolaid Favorite Pizza Topping: Taco Favorite Color: Steel Blue Favorite Music Genre: Punk/rock Favorite Book Genre: Dystopian Favorite Movie Genre: Fantasy Favorite Season: Fall Favorite Butt Type: Firm Favorite Swear Word: Fuck Favorite Scent: Cookies Favorite Sayings: " I may not be there, But I am closer than I was yesterday." “That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.” “I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted, until the dark became my world and I could see.” “Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.” “My silence holds a plethora of syllables I am too afraid to say.”“They call you heartless; but you have a heart and I love you for being ashamed to show it.” " And every time I look at you, it hurts." "First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you don't me." “Life is wonderful. It’s a gift to be alive, to see the sun and breathe the air. And there isn’t really anything else.” Favorite Quote: “Knowledge is not made for understanding; it is made for cutting.” || Fun Stuff || “Boss” Theme Music: Love The Way You Hate Me/ Hand Grenade/ Hiding Place / Bottom or Top: Top Loud Burper Or Soft Burper: Loud Sings In The Shower: Yes / No Likes Bad Puns: Yes / No Sins: Lust / Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues: Chastity / Charity / Temperance / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience / Justice Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Element: Darkness Big5: Openness Jugian: INFP ( Alternative Type) MOTIV: Offbeat (Materialist 45% 54% Offbeat 81% 48% Thinking 21% 51% Intimate 21% 56% Vital 50% 54%) Left/Right Brain: Right

#CalypsoInformation

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notspoondere · 6 years ago

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February 2018 List Re-Review

As an fun little thing, let’s go over my previous analysis and talk about what I predicted and whether or not it was correct!

I can’t think of anything better, so let’s just go off of a simple metric of “correct/maybe/incorrect” and I’ll tally up the results at the end.

Apoqliphort Towers

Before you get scared, Scout is still at one. Hit that with Cosmic Cyclone and you win the game instantly.

But yeah, Towers is back. Thankfully, we now have Utopia and Borrelload and a bunch of other cards to deal with it, so I really don’t expect Qliphorts to ever be a problem again. But with Genius, at least they can be played again.

Qliphorts saw zero competitive play, so I’ll say this was spot-on. Correct.

Grinder Golem

More degenerate token spam got hit, but I feel like this just makes it a slightly worse Gofu that’s just as sacky.

It’s sort of that, but in practice, nobody plays it at 1. I’ll say a maybe since this isn’t exactly wrong.

Performage Damage Juggler

As far as practical application goes… the verdict is still out. I don’t know if 1 Juggler is enough to see competitive play. Consider the following:

The typical Lightsworn combo off of Scorpio uses Trick Clown because it makes you take damage, which triggers Thousand Blades for a free Rank 4. If you send Juggler instead, you get Clown in hand, which is neat, but you need to Normal Summon or discard him in order to get his effect.

Invoked can use this card (with Aleister the Meltdown Invoker) to turn any hand of Aleister + Brilliant Fusion into Aleister + 2x Mechaba and 3 cards in hand, but it can do that with another combo anyways.

We’ll see on this one. I like it being back, though.

I was visibly on the fence about this, but I’ll admit I got this wrong. Juggler is an excellent card and has seen plenty of play since it was unbanned. It turns out that Hat Tricker is a much better card than I expected, and everyone makes Curious, the Lightsworn Dominion with EARTH monsters anyways.

Still love it being back, honestly. Great card.

Monster Reborn

We all know what this card does, we all know how ridiculous it is. Get ready for this card to “enhance” all of your mirror matches. I personally cannot wait to start sacking games with this card. Can anyone say Lonefire Reborn Lonefire?

Monster Reborn has seen play! Who could have expected this!? Correct.

Solemn Judgment

Another step toward TCG/OCG parity, “God says ‘NO!’” has finally been put to one copy per deck for the first time in I don’t even know how long. This card speaks most closely to Counter Fairies (given the recent support), but it could see play in virtually any deck not running Destrudo.

I don’t really like negation or backrow, but I guess it’s neat to have this back. Check with me in six months and I’ll want every copy of it burned, though.

This card’s great!

I fucking hate it, but it’s seen tons of play. Correct.

Artifact Moralltach

This card was not $7 a day ago, I swear. The hype is real.

Artifacts have strong potential for Side Deck play, and possibly in the main with Sanctum as accessible as it is, though that hasn’t been too successful since the days of Artifact Invoked Windwitch. Keep an eye on this for sure.

Moralltach is still sitting around $5, but has seen no play. This one was definitely wrong.

Black Luster Soldier - Envoy of the Beginning

Who ever expected to see this card at 3 again?

Burning Abyss is the only competitive deck regularly playing this card, but it actually excels at two things BA can’t really do that effectively: permanent spot removal and dealing with multiple big threats. This card deserves to be at 3, but it won’t be totally irrelevant there, either.

Still sees play, though I don’t think anyone plays three copies since it’s kind of a brick that doesn’t contribute to a board. I’ll say this was correct, though you can feel free to correct me if BA decks have actually cut it since then. (I sold it a few months ago for Shaddolls, sorry...)

Card Trooper

Step 1: Troop. Summon Card Trooper, it doesn’t matter how.

Step 2: Dupe. Activate Machine Duplication, targeting Card Trooper. Thankfully, chances are that there won’t be more than one target on the field, so it’s hard to mess this one up.

Step 3: Scoop. Pick up your cards and leave because your opponent dropped Ash Blossom on your Machine Duplication, or because you didn’t draw your unsearchable 2-card combo, or because pushing 5700 damage isn’t enough to win the game anyways. Whoops.

Unfortunately, I don’t expect this to make huge waves competitively, but… yeah, this combo is super fun, and I’ll probably try it with Phantom Knights or something for laughs. I guess it doesn’t hurt to have it back.

Card Trooper DID see play! For like a week. It showed up in two regional lists. I’ll admit that I was wrong, but clearly it was phased out for a reason.

Mind Control

Now THIS is actually an interesting prospect. This card has not seen an errata of any kind, and is arguably still playable going second. Taking control of monsters actually breaks Co-links and the card itself doesn’t prevent you from using your opponent’s monsters to summon from the Extra Deck, so this could actually be a strong counter to some strategies. Mind Control is definitely a card you should keep in mind.

This was absolutely correct. Mind Control has seen Side Deck play and occasional Main Deck play in strategies designed to go second like Mekk-Knight Invoked.

Bottomless Trap Hole

Another interesting unhit. Trap cards in general were thought to be powercrept, so Konami has been taking strides in releasing a number of the most powerful ones ever, such as this. Note: HAT did not have 3x Bottomless. Also note that HAT will not come back because of this and Moralltach, and that Bagooska is still pretty much a better card than Rafflesia.

I feel fairly confident in saying this card isn’t good enough to be played even at 3, but I feel as though there’s a small chance I could be proven wrong.

Was absolutely 100% correct on this, it saw no play whatsoever. I don’t think I met anyone in the few days after the banlist that wasn’t hyped about this, but even then, I felt it was pretty obvious that this card was not good enough to see play without substantial Trap Hole support.

Torrential Tribute

ahahahhHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

This card being at 3 is complete insanity. Full power Zoo format had a few people side decking Blind Obliteration, a card which is almost strictly worse than this, and now they won’t ever need to.

I know in a week I’ll come to hate the absolute hell of playing through 3x Torrential, but for now, I can’t wait to see how people cheese their way through majors with this card in triplicate. It’s more than powerful enough, in any case.

Once again, 100% correct. ABC, Trickstars, Burning Abyss, and Paleo Frogs all found success with this card. I don’t think this was a surprise to anyone though.

And that’s it. SPYRAL is probably dead, Magicians are hurt badly, and several rogue/tier 2 archetypes got a small boost.

SPYRAL dropped off really hard, but was still played. Magicians require a bit of thought: Technically, this list did absolutely nothing to stop them from being the best deck in the game, but it would have been much worse (like +3 or +4 on top of Vortex/Norito/Dweller) if Iris or Joker were still in the game. I’ll give this a maybe, but I admit that’s kind of generous.

EXTRA: Card That Did Not Get Hit, Somehow

Trickstar Reincarnation

I asked our local Trickstar player what he thought of the banlist. He reached into his deck box, pulled out Maxx “C” and Gofu, and gave me a shit eating grin.

Despite topping multiple events, this deck somehow did not get hit in the slighest. The searchable 2-card combo that banishes your hand whenever you search or draw a card is still totally, 100% legal. Konami says it’s cool. This is fine.

This is NOT FINE. Welcome to the best deck of the next format.

Okay, something you have to understand about this format: Draco vs. full power SPYRAL was by far Draco’s worst matchup, while Trickstar vs. full power SPYRAL was a fairly solid matchup for Trickstar thanks to the fact that Trickstars are practically an engine for a deck of hand traps, normal traps, and Scapegoat, all things SPYRAL are really bad against.

It turns out that Trickstar isn’t THAT great against everything else, though I hold that it is still a viable deck.

In terms of results, the deck was absolutely not the best deck of the format, though it was Tier 1/2 for a while until Draco came back. It actually won a YCS once, I believe.

I’ll say this was wrong, but hopefully you can see it was close to being right.

Final total:

Correct: 7

Maybe: 2

Wrong: 4

Correct + Maybe = 9

Correct + Maybe / Total x 100 = 9(100)/13 = 69.23% Not Wrong™. Nice.

Strictly speaking, I got a bunch of other stuff right by making no comment on cards I thought were totally irrelevant, but hopefully this is a reasonable/conservative metric of how good my predictions are.

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stephspencer10 · 4 years ago

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PART 1

My Memoir: My Daddy, Floyd Otto Spencer

My Daddy, Floyd Otto Spencer, age 19

MY DADDY

My Memoir Backstory “My Daddy” takes up where I left off writing “My Memoir Introduction: I Was Born a “Saint.” After I wrote this blog, I realized I’d put the cart before the horse — started my Memoir bass-ackwards: I got myself born before I told you anything about how I got here.

Since we all come from the past, my readers ought to know what it is that went into my making. So I’ve decided to present a bunch of backstory, beginning with my father, Floyd Otto Spencer. Ending with my mother, Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer and her LeBaron backstory.

After this backstory, I’ll continue with my Memoirs. But it will include more tales about Mother and Father as they intertwine throughout my life.

Now, for a bit of how I got here from the past. And some of what went into my making.

My Daddy: Part 1

My handsome five-foot-10.5-inch, black-haired, black-eyed, dark-skinned (when tanned) father was a hot-tempered, strict, shy, witty, sharp-tongued, short-fused, highly gifted man. “Daddy,” as we called him, was also a sensitive Artist and Creative.

Born July 27, 1895, in Marion, Michigan, he died on my nineteenth birthday, April 18, 1965, in Colonia LeBaron, Galeana, Chihuahua, Mexico. His death was the outcome of a freak “accident.” I believe my Mother Esther LeBaron Spencer and her brother, my Uncle Ervil LeBaron, had a hand in it. (I will relate this whole incident in my upcoming Memoir.)

Born in a backwoods frontier town, Daddy was very much of pioneer stock. His parents were mostly of English descent, he believed. He was unable to track his full genealogy. But knew his mother was one-half Indigenous American — Mohawk Indian to be exact.

One Sunday afternoon, in our small living room, lit only by light from the windows and fireplace, Mother was giving Daddy his monthly expert-looking haircut when we children, catching Daddy captive, saw a good chance to gather around his knees and pepper him with questions about his parents, grandparents, and past.

He was a shy man, of few words, and usually busy working. One of his favorite sayings was: “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and look like a fool than to open your mouth and prove you’re a fool.” Even now he was hesitant to answer all our forward questions. But when asked about his bloodline (for bloodlines are very important to Mormons), he sheepishly responded:

“My grandmother on my mother’s side was a full-blooded Mohawk Indian squaw. I used to visit her in her Hogan from time to time.” He was embarrassed to admit this. But then he added:

“She was a typical Indian … Sweet, poor, and no furniture to speak of. I can still see her squatting on the floor as she did her routine work in her dark little Hogan that had only one window and a fire burning in the middle of the room — smoke rising up and out through a hole in the ceiling.”

This helps to explain why Daddy used to chide Mother when he saw her squatting on the floor sorting beans or such. He’d cry: “You look like an old Indian squaw! Get up and sit on a chair at the table to sort your beans — like a civilized person!!”

However, after joining the LeBaron cult and learning from my uncles the Mormon beliefs Joseph Smith taught about the American Indians — that they “were part of the lost ten tribes of Israel, and were going to play a very important role in the last days,” Daddy made an effort to get in touch with the indigenous American Indian side of himself.

He even began to exhibit pride in being at least one-quarter American Indian. I say “at least” because he was not sure of his full heritage — only that his mother was half American Indian.

But one day he took a trip to visit the Hopi and Navajo Indian villages in Arizona and New Mexico, returning home feeling very exhilarated, uplifted, and more proud than ever of his Indian heritage. It rubbed off on me: I’m at least one-eighth American Indian, and proud of it.

My Daddy (around ages 19 & 53 consecutively)

“Show me someone who believes you can’t change history, and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t tried to write their memoirs.” Mark Twain

My Daddy, Part 2

Daddy was his parents’ only child. They divorced when he was three years old. When Dad was fourteen years old, his mother bore his half-sister Doris, by her second marriage. Sadly, when he was twenty-seven, she died of rheumatic fever, leaving Daddy his mother’s only child again — though he had half-sisters from his father’s second marriage that he got to meet and spend some time with.

He was raised Methodist and held White Anglo-Saxon Protestant values, including their strong work ethic. Daddy was always a hard worker. You might even say he was a workaholic. That figures: His father was a “raging alcoholic.” Going to extremes in any area is indicative of addiction. God is a drug for religious addicts –– religious fanatics. Daddy completely and emphaticly gave up alcohol and tobacco when he joined the Mormon church at age thirty-five. Religion then became his drug of choice.

“Twelve-Steppers,” especially ACA’S/ Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families — a 12-step program — know what I’m talking about. If these terms are new to you, it may be worth looking up 12-step organizations in your area. They were very valuable in my development, given the dysfunctional family I was brought-up in — I mean brought-down in!

Now back to more Bio about Dad: “At around age four,” Daddy told me, “my mother gave me away to her sisters to raise. Years later, Mother wanted me back. But I refused to go back because I was so hurt and angry at her for what she’d done!! I was happier living with my aunts and cousins,” remarked my father.

Then he continued, “I often had to dig tunnels in the snow during winter time to get to school because the snow piled up so high. Sometimes it was up higher than the schoolhouse door. My school consisted of one room and one teacher teaching all the grades from 1st through 12th.

“I didn’t do very well in her classroom— Didn’t get along with that didactic, strict, bossy teacher. She regularly humiliated me in front of the class … often made me sit in the corner with a dunce cap on … partly because I was the class clown — always made the class laugh at my witty wisecracks and cutting up … would wiggle my ears, pull funny faces, and draw caricatures, etc, when the teachers back was turned.

“In fifth grade, I couldn’t take any more of this mean, punishing teacher I’d had since first grade. So I dropped out — refused to go to her one-room school anymore — though it was the only school around. I couldn’t learn under her tutelage.

“However, from then on I felt I was a failure in many ways — not to mention that my parents divorced. Then Ma gave me away when I was so little. That affected my self-worth. But due to my one-and-only elementary school teacher, I further questioned my self-worth, because I kind of believed it was due to my lack of brains that I wasn’t getting better grades in the teacher’s class.”

That bad impression of himself as a student and person went with him throughout his life. It affected his self-confidence and self-esteem, further adding to his shyness and his, oftentime, not feeling very good about himself … in some ways.

But lack of a good supporting education, in and of itself, is enough to affect anyone’s self-confidence and achievement in life. They see many people able to accomplish things they cannot accomplish, often not realizing their only drawback was they had no competitive foundation — as in Daddy’s case where he had only a poor, one-room classroom education typical of the early 1900’s in backwoods-pioneer towns.

Education was not mandatory in those days. It was a privilege to go to any school. Families worse off than my fathers’ didn’t go to school at all.

It wasn’t till after 1918 and World War I had ended that our country realized public education must be made free, mandatory — and paid for by our tax dollars. It would not only prepare better future soldiers for our country’s defense system, but The Industrial Revolution, then in full force, also required that people be able to read, write, do math, follow the Employer’s directions, show up for work on time, and be dependable. Mandatory education developed these skills and habits in an otherwise unruly, unschooled person.

But, despite a poor preparatory education, Daddy accomplished much more in life than many people with a far better education and advantages. He was a proud and confident man in various ways, therefore. His being gifted, talented, and successful at things he attempted helped build his self-esteem, despite the negative aspects of his early education and childhood. This confidence exudes in his photos.

His teacher and that old-fashioned, backward school system had branded him as “Not Smart, a bad person, and a poor student — a DUNCE!” How sad, because he was a bright, gifted boy. I taught school for thirty years; should know what I am talking about!

It grieves me that there are teachers who can be so judgmental they brand children for life, thinking they know what they’re doing. They don’t! I’ve experienced this branding firsthand. It only shows the ignorance of those teachers who would do such a thing to a student.

Their ignorance, arrogance, ego, and the need to control gets the best of them. If they looked at and treated every student as if that child were the son or daughter of the school Superintendent, Principal, or President of the United States, I guarantee you that would take any judgmental Educator down a notch or two — and their students up a notch or two!

PART 3

Family Collage includes Dad’s mom and him as a boy (in glasses)

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it. Begin it now.” ~Goethe~ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The year was 1958. The setting: Our home in Hurricane, Utah. The place: Around our average-sized family-room fireplace:

While the flames flickered and leapt, warmed and lit our cozy little living room, we Spencer kids (there were eleven of us then) sat huddled around our parents on the colorful rag rug Mother crocheted.

I was twelve, second to the oldest, and seventeen months younger than my oldest sibling, Doris — one of my rivals! While sixty-three-year-old Daddy sat situated on a high stool with a towel wrapped around his neck and shoulders, my talented, artistic thirty-seven-year-old Mother was at her routine task of trimming his white hair with the hair clippers he’d bought for this purpose.

As was often the case during such times, we kids were once again peppering Papa with personal questions about his intriguing boyhood, family, life … and white hair!

“I discovered my first gray hair when I was only fourteen years old!” Daddy explained. “Gray hairs really stand out when your hair is pitch black like mine used to be!”

My siblings and I were further enlightened when Mother got out Daddy’s scrapbook and a photo album so he could explain the pictures and keepsakes in them. There was a picture of my paternal grandmother dressed to the “T” in the high fashions of the early 1900s:

“My mother was a socialite,” he opined disapprovingly. “She was more concerned about her appearance and joining social circles than she was about staying home and being a good homemaker and mother. She always decked herself out in the latest grand styles of the day — as you can see in this picture,” continued Daddy, pointing to a photo of his attractive mother in a hat.

I never got to meet my paternal grandparents nor Daddy’s aunts who raised him. Daddy was about fifty-two when I was born. I was around five years old when, in her nineties, his last aunt died. At that time, she lived in Michigan and we lived in St. George, Utah. Lack of time and money precluded Daddy’s going to her funeral, though he had wanted to attend.

Before she died, I recall how elated he would be whenever a letter arrived from this aunt. Sometimes she would include a photo of herself, so I at least got to see what she looked like as a ninety-year-old woman … And I recall, too, the tears in Daddy’s eyes (a man who seldom showed any sign of tears) when he read the letter that said she’d died.

One of the many disadvantages of having a father old enough to be your grandfather is his parents die before you’re old enough to meet them — that is, if he even kept in contact with his parents at all — which he did little of.

Continuing with Daddy’s pictures: In another photo, his handsome “half-breed” entrepreneur mother stood on the porch in front of a wooden building. Daddy recounted: “My mother owned a hotel or boarding house. I helped her with the work there, oftentimes … sweeping the big porches, fixing things, and helping at the front desk.

“In my free time, I loved to create things that really worked … like miniature model windmills I carved and devised myself, where the blades of the windmill could actually turn if you blew on them … or when there was wind.”

He was very proud of his ingenuity and creativity — the things he was amazingly able to build or sculpt though only a young boy — a child … things nobody else around him devised or created, not even adults. He loved to draw, too — funny caricatures and so forth.

“I also loved to design and create things like little wagons and cars with wheels that could roll — and even little houses and buildings. And I loved to carve whistles, wooden ducks, dogs, and other toys that had wheels on them so they could be pulled around with us wherever we went — which was how we made our toys move back in those days.

“My dream was to be an Engineer — How I longed to be in the driver’s seat of a train and to work on trains. Trains were the big thing then — an invention just coming into existence when I was a young boy. It was back when most people did not own a car and Model T Fords were barely becoming the big rage among the rich.

“One of the first cars accessible to the masses was the 1908 Model T, an American car manufactured by the Ford Motor Company. I was thirteen years old when that car came out. Henry Ford was my idol! I loved that he was an Inventor. I wanted to be an Inventor myself — to design and create things like Ford and other Creators of my day.

“If I could’ve had my way and I’d had the advantage of money ‘n’ a good education, I would’ve been an Engineer. But instead of goin’ back to school ‘n’ workin’ for years to get the education I needed so as to go to college ‘n’ get an Engineering Degree, I married ‘n’ had a bunch of kids — to help build up God’s kingdom. Then spent my time workin’ to raise ‘n’ support my families — My first family with Eva. And now this one with yer ma.” Then Daddy changed the subject:

“As a youth, I never liked to sit around wastin’ time, nor to play silly games like the rest of the kids … liked to put my time to good use … to create things. Silly, noisy kids got on my nerves.* But being an only child was a very lonely life. That’s one reason I chose to have lots of kids when I got married.”

*Explanation: Daddy was an Introvert — a creative like me. If you do not know the characteristics of the different and unique special Introvert brain and personality, there are a number of good books on the market that explain this valuable and wondrous trait.

If you are related to Floyd Otto Spencer, chances are you and some of your children and posterity are also Introverts. Most Creatives, such as artists and writers, are Introverts or at least Ambiverts, as opposed to Extroverts. The world needs all these personality types.

The following are titles of three excellent books on this subject that you may be interested in reading or at least skimming. If you can’t find some of these in your library or online, there are other books on the subject.

1- “The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World,” by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.

2- “Party of One: The Loner’s Manifesto,” by Anneli Rufus

3- “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You,” by Elaine N. Aaron, Ph.D.

PART 4

My family (minus one sibling) in early 1964

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” ~ Anne Lamott

Going back to where we left off with Daddy saying he wanted to have a large family of children, let me tell you that this is one dream he fulfilled. He had eleven beautiful children with his first wife Eva Bowman Spencer. And fourteen more beautiful children with his second wife, my mother Esther LeBaron Spencer. Thus, he was not only guaranteed to never be lonely again but to never have a moment’s peace or quietude, either.

More often than not, there was even a new baby crying, keeping him up at night. But he finally learned how to pretty much fix that: He would waterboard them (not that uncommon, at least among the Mormon fundamentalists). At times, he would even beat the tiny new babies incessantly for crying. (Tears!!)

But mainly, he mostly held his big strong hand over their mouth and nose till they were suffocating, all the while yelling at them: “Shut up the goddamned crying!! Do you hear?! Shut up, I said, or you’ll get more to cry about!!”

After he did that consistently a number of times, it generally taught most of his babies not to be caught dead crying — if they could possibly help it. (Then you wonder why Morman fundamentalist children are so well-behaved?!)

He, like many fundamentalists, believed the Bible’s “Spare the rod and spoil the child” meant to literally beat the devil out of the kids so as to make them submissive to adults and thus to God. They believed the sooner they were made submissive, the better.

But I have since learned that some spiritual leaders believe “the rod” is only a metaphor for “the gospel.” In other words, if you don’t teach your children the gospel, they will grow up spoiled, wayward, and rebellious.

I believe force and brutality toward children — or anyone … or any animal — does just the opposite of beating the devil out of them: It beats the devil into them; i.e., can make them angry, hateful, emotionally disturbed, mean, and devilish. It also can cause them to split from themselves, and to lose their will, give up, and become zombies or such. It breaks their spirit.

In fact, one of the best ways to hypnotize a hyperactive, incorrigible, misbehaving child is to plant yourself right in his/her space and yell vociferously in the child’s face: “Behave! Stop that!” Or whatever else it is you wish of the child. The child will do what you tell him/her after that … at least for a while.

I wonder what kind of abuse my father suffered at the hands of adults when he was growing up since violent and abusive ways of parenting are generally passed down from one generation to the next.

Unless one is able to recognize, then intercept and stop this abusive cycle and pattern learned from one’s upbringing and teachings, it will be passed on to one’s own offspring ad infinitum!

But thank God/Goodness, there are now laws in our country that carry stiff penalties for abusing children — as well as women, animals — or anyone … thanks to coalitions of good people who have worked diligently together throughout our society and other civilized parts of the earth to make this world a better and safer place for everyone.

However, reclusive families, such as in cults, often remain backward when it comes to improvements in behavior norms. Believing they are the only ones with “the truth,” and lead by poorly educated, narrow-minded leaders, they learn nothing much from “the world” that, nonetheless, continues to change and improve as it strives to learn how to make a better world for all through education, college, books, publications, educational T.V., films, computers, and social media.

That said, one reason Daddy and Mother were so anxious to move to the LeBaron colony in Old Mexico in 1960 was that shortly before their decision to move, a Federal law was passed against Child Abuse. It stipulated dire legal penalties for parents who hit, beat, or otherwise physically abused their children. Daddy proclaimed vehemently, in regards to that law:

“What the hell right has the government to step in and tell me how to raise my children?! I am the Priesthood head of my family! The Bible says, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child.’ In other words, parents are to ‘bend the twig’ correctly. We do that by beating the devil out of our children while they are still young enough to be taught how to behave and grow up as straight vines, not twisted, warped ones.

“Once a seedling is warped, you can’t change it. You can observe an example of that in plants and trees that weren’t supported and staked properly so they would grow straight rather than deformed. I can’t wait to get out of this wicked country and gather with the Saints in Zion, there in Colonia LeBaron where I’m free to exercise old, time-honored Biblical laws when it comes to raising my family!”

PART 5

Daddy (Floyd Otto Spencer) in his mid-50s

“A good memoir is born from that uniquely important place in your personal history.” “Writing Your Hot-Topic Memoir” Dr. Scott

Daddy was an autodidact. In other words, he was self-taught in many areas. He would get books on auto mechanics, carpentry, building construction, watch and clock repair, farming, health — you name it — and learn how to do these things … How to eat healthfully, for example. Sometimes he took Night School classes too.

By the late 1940s or early 1950s, he was a Singer Sewing Machine salesman and repairman. He went from home to home selling and setting up this newfangled, popular electric sewing machine that had quickly outdated the old treadle sewing machines.

He taught the proud owners how to use their new modern electric Singer sewing machine and its many attachments — such as the attachment for making buttonholes. And he maintained the machines, should they need servicing.

Later on, he morphed into a self-employed entrepreneur — a General Contractor, capable of building homes and commercial buildings from the ground up, including creating the blueprints.

People hired him because he could save them money, time, and trouble by doing everything himself: He could do the blueprint, foundation, building’s frame, cement work, flooring, roofing, electrical, plumbing, brick and rock work, landscape, carpentry, painting, and whatever else the new building required.

Provided they had time to wait for a one-man job to be finished, he was your man. Hiring a bunch of contractors and construction workers to do the job all at once was much more expensive and time-consuming, but would get the job done a lot faster if that was what one needed to do.

Because he was an introvert (or ambivert?) he preferred to work by himself. It’s a good thing because he didn’t get along well with most people. He had an artistic, fastidious, and perfectionistic personality, topped off with religious fanaticism, a high-strung, short-fused temper, and a sharp tongue. What’s worse, he regularly called to repentance people in his presence he saw doing things that were against his religion!

For example, he would tell mainstream Mormons they were headed for hell because they had given up plural marriage, practiced birth control, and had “mutilated” the holy temple garments Joseph Smith “ordained of God” and said should never be cut nor otherwise changed. This foot washing fundamentalist father of mine took his religion very seriously!

That said, he would regularly worry, harass, and chastise women in the Mormon fundamentalist groups, too, for doing things like cutting their hair, sporting “worldly hairdos and makeup” — and for wearing their hemlines too high and their necklines too low! (Hemlines were supposed to be about down to the ankle, and necklines about up to the collarbone.)

“That tight sweater and skirt you’ve got on is exactly what leads men to rape women! You look like a goddamned Delilah!!” he swore at me one day when I was thirteen years old and dressed to go to school. That sure “learnt” me a lesson!

Though I took off the sweater and skirt, so popular in the 1950s, and never wore such clothing again (during my life in the fundamentalist cult) I now know there is no excuse for men to rape women under any condition!

If how women look or dress determines whether they get raped or not, then what about Aborigines and other Indigenous societies who go/went around, as a way of life, stark naked, half-naked — and “half-baked“? (Pun intended.)

It’s all a matter of culture, style, and one’s values, really. Women are not to blame if some all-brawn-no-brains men choose to dominate and use women to their own advantage.

A man’s being more muscular than women doesn’t make him superior to women. It certainly doesn’t give him the right to brutalize them or run them. Only backward people adhere to that old-world way of thinking.

In general, men aren’t superior to women, other than muscularly. (When I was young and in shape, I was able to win more than one out-of-shape man in an arm wrestle, LOL!) Women are not objects, either, as some men seem to think. Men don’t own them — nor do they have the right to strong-arm nor otherwise control women — despite what some fundamentalist Mormons, et Al, believe.

But getting back to Daddy, his regularly chastising others and setting them straight led me to believe he, himself, was pretty perfect. He must be, it seemed, if he could call others on the carpet for not adhering to our extremist sect’s strict dress code or other such. If he could call others to repentance, he must be doing everything right himself, yes?

However, in hindsight (always the best sight) I see he needed to lighten up, simmer down, mind his own business — and quit projecting his own fears and faults onto others. In other words, like so many of us, he needed more patience and persistence, and less pestering of others; i.e., He needed to exhibit more charity. He just didn’t know it yet.

My Memoir: My Daddy, Floyd Otto Spencer PART 6

Dad in his 60s

“Like all the arts, the Science of Deduction and Analysis is one which can only be acquired by long and patient study, nor is life long enough to allow any mortal to attain the highest possible perfection in it.” Arthur Conan Doyle

Shortly before Daddy died, I saw a change in him. His visage fairly glowed, and he had become much more loving, relaxed, patient, kind, and happy — such that I no longer feared so much being in his presence. He had become more pleasurable to be around.

It was as though he’d undergone an epiphany — a life-changing experience, though I was not around him enough nor on comfortable enough terms with him to inquire as to any such experiences he might have had. Furthermore, I was married then, and very busy taking care of my six-month-old baby at the time he was nearing death … then died.

During his lifetime he had always done a lot to help others. Being an all-around handyman and Jack-of-all-trades and Master of a few, people often came to him for advice or called on him to help them fix something.

He never turned them down, that I know of, much to Mother’s frustration and dismay. More than once I heard her complain, “Daddy, why don’t you turn some of these people down?! There are things piling up around here to be done while others impinge on you to work for them for free!” (Mother generally called him “Daddy” just as we kids did.)

Yes, he had plenty of his own work around the house waiting to be done. But people appreciated and respected Daddy for his knowledge and know-how when it came to being “Mister-Fix-it-Man,” and he enjoyed his revered reputation, too. He was no Scriptorian, though … unlike my mother’s brother, Ervil LeBaron, who often called on Daddy to fix things for him.

Uncle Ervil, who many of my readers may know of or will soon hear about, was just the opposite of Daddy. He spent most of his time studying Scriptures and Mormon religious works, writing some — and preaching a lot. I don’t recall him ever doing any manual labor. He managed to get my father and others to serve him, instead.

I don’t know how much money religiously-stalwart Daddy also put toward supporting Uncle Ervil and all Ervil’s many wives and children, as well as my other uncles and their families, at times, when they were hard up for money and food.

I only know he certainly paid much more than his 10% in tithing, despite the large family he, himself, maintained. And he did this right up until the day he died at about seventy years of age! There was never any retirement for him — my hard-working papa!

Like everyone else, dedicated and diligent, conscientious Daddy liked feeling special and needed. And he enjoyed serving God, all the while being able to put to use his skills and ingenuity as he helped repair others’ broken equipment, or advised them on how to build something — or taught them how to do some of these things for themselves. Thus, he employed many of the things he had learned how to do … right up until the day he died.

So where he lost favor with people due to his judgmental temperament and sharp tongue, he gained respect and popularity by being otherwise naturally unassuming and willing to lend a humble, helping hand. And he benefitted from that respect, acceptance, and connection. It was a wonderful interchange of mutual love and appreciation.

*Other facts about Daddy that I didn’t bring up earlier:

*He was very sensitive, astute, and strong-willed. Therefore, as a young man, he abandoned his parents in Michigan, due to fallings-out with them — never again to contact them nor to return home for a visit.

His aunt had raised him since he was around four or five, I believe, as I related in an earlier blog. I’m not sure how young he was when he left his aunt’s home and took off to make it on his own. I’m only sure he was a true survivor. And what didn’t kill him made him stronger!

*Once he proudly told me: “I gave up smoking and drinking when I joined the Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). I was able to quit “cold turkey!” I simply decided to quit. And I never smoked again!”

And Daddy said, of his past smoking habit: “People who will smoke, will drink; and people who will drink, will chase women.”

He also informed me: “I gave up square dancing, too, because I found that it led to fornication when men and women danced with other than their own spouse or partner.”

*Once, when I was twelve years old, he caught me looking up the word “sex” in the dictionary. He reproachfully admonished me, proclaiming: “The words “sex” and “fun” should be cut out of the dictionary!! Sex is only for procreation! And people shouldn’t be wasting their time playing/ having fun. The Lord’s Kingdom won’t get built up that way!”

I disagree with him in some of his misconceived conceptions. But we all are in a process of learning and growing during our lifetimes. I bring up these above points to simply show what a stoic life he, I, and other true-believing fundamentalists lived.

But other points in his favor are that while Daddy was living in Arizona, and raising a large family with his first wife Eva, he was a Boy Scout Master, which position he enjoyed and was very proud of.

And he was even Mayor of a small city for some time, I was told. But I’m not sure what city that was, let alone the dates. My daughter checked and couldn’t find his name listed as having been Mayor of the city where I thought my parents said he’d been Mayor. So who knows! More family lore?

PART 7

1958 Family Photo (I’m middlebrow, 2nd from left, .)

The Writer’s Prayer: “Make this tale live for us in all its many bearings, oh Muse.” Steven Pressfield The War of Art

While married to his first wife Eva,* for some time Daddy owned a small Mercantile shop. Then World War II removed his main source of income, rubber tires:

“The war efforts needed all the rubber to build war equipment. Selling tires for the Model T Ford, and other such, was how I covered my overhead. So I was run out of business when I couldn’t sell rubber tires anymore,” he explained.

“While I still owned my store, a woman would come in daily and hit on me. I finally told her, ‘I haven’t got caught up to home yet!’ That sure put a damper on things!”

Daddy loved to tell that joke. One great thing about him is he was good at ad-libbing jokes and getting a laugh — a natural comedian, he had a wonderful sense of humor. Sadly, he tried to curb this special talent once the LeBaron cult started cracking down on light-mindedness — considered a sin. (They didn’t know “Laughter is the best medicine.”)

I never spent much time around Daddy. Highly sensitive me avoided being in the same space with him whenever possible.When I had to be around him, I hid in the shadows. When I could do so without being noticed, I would escape to my attic room, especially after I became a teenager because his anger and abuse doubled toward me by then.

I already mentioned a little about this in previous blogs: He had a terrible temper that I got the brunt of more than all the rest of his children put together. I was the scapegoat of the family, so was glad he was usually away from the house working all day. That lessened the stress I endured because of him — and because of Mother. She would get me in trouble with him every chance she got — like every day, once I became a teenager!

But on Sundays, he did not work — which meant he was always home keeping the Sabbath. After our daily morning prayers were said in the big family circle, breakfast, and our family Sunday School service was over, Daddy would sit in his overstuffed armchair in the living room and read the newspaper and comic strips in front of the fireplace he had built and decorated with petrifiedwood rock work.

Hidden out of his view and reach, I loved watching how he would sometimes laugh till he teared up reading the Little Orphan Annie comic series. As a child, I especially loved it when he would throw me the “Funny Papers” after he got through reading them.

Then I would lie on my stomach on the carpet, a distance from him, and try to read and understand The Funnies. But try as I may, as a kid, I never could figure out what Daddy found so funny about his favorite comic strip, Little Orphan Annie.

I lacked the maturity and experience to comprehend such things. Daddy was twenty-six years older than Mother, and about fifty-two years older than I — old enough to be my grandfather.

But other than being around him on Sunday mornings so I could get the funnies once he was through with them, mostly I avoided being in the same room with him. I was afraid of him.

By the time I was 14, almost every day he would lash out at me, both physically and verbally. And, often, he would make fun of me and put me down in front of my family or friends … or whoever else happened to be around when he found a reason to ridicule me and “put me in my place.”

Because of this, I developed a confused love-hate feeling for him, though I never realized it till much later. Mother always told us what a saint Daddy was and that he was the very best man in the whole wide world! Needless to say, I never got to learn a whole lot about my father, due to it being so miserable for me … so threatening to be around him.

But I remember, when I was four years old, he took an oil painting class. I recall him sitting out under the backyard trees with his easel and paints, copying some nature scenes that included our house he had bought around two years before when it was not much more than a shack.

He was remodeling it to make it a livable home. He would buy a run-down ramshackle of a place, fix it up into a fairly decent abode, then, before we had much time to enjoy the better living conditions, we’d end up moving, for one reason or another, to a new ramshackle abode. And the whole damn scene would start all over again — we Spencers living in a mud adobe abode or whatever, till he fixed it up into a half-decent place to live — and then we would move. “Why couldn’t we ever stay in the home once it got fixed up and had running water, a shower, electricity, and a flushing toilet?” I used to wish and wonder.

We moved around twelve times from the time I was born in a mud adobe abode in Mexico till I turned fourteen! Then we moved back again, “fool” circle, to another mud adobe abode in the Mormon fundamentalist cult where I first started out: Colonia LeBaron, Galeana, Chihuahua, Mexico!

Then, wouldn’t you know, no sooner did Daddy do a complete makeover of our new mud adobe abode in Colonia LeBaron, but what I was married off at age sixteen in an arranged polygamous marriage! And that entailed moving again, this time to my own home … and another mud adobe abode!)

PART 8

My father Floyd Spencer

“An unexamined life is not worth living.” Plato … quoting Socrates

In the Previous blog, I mentioned that when I was around four years old, Artist Daddy, with easel and oils, used to sit beneath the big green shade tree in our front yard and paint the nature scenes around about him. Often he used our home as a backdrop for his paintings. Mother kept these “Masterpieces” hanging on the wall in our home, proudly showing them off to visitors.

But, sadly, Daddy didn’t continue for long with his oil painting hobby and venture. Though oil painting had been a lifelong dream and yearning of his, he was in his late fifties when he’d finally had the where-with-all to try his hand at it. But, sadly, he soon discovered oil painting or water coloring pictures — or even sketching — took a lot more time and money than he could devote to his beloved hobby, Artist though he was … better still, “frustrated Artist”!

What it boiled down to was he had to give up his artistic drive and dream because it conflicted with what he believed was his higher calling: To bring little spirits up in heaven down into good Mormon fundamentalists homes; i.e., to have all the kids he could have! He was devout, to be sure. Whatever his faults, there was a lot of good and good intentions in this man.

After he sacrificed his painting hobby, due to conflicts of interests — God, his family, and religious beliefs came first — Mother gave him piano lessons because around about that time he had finally bought trained–concert-pianist Mama a piano!

But when he saw four-year-old me could sit down and play by ear whatever I heard him practicing as he struggled to learn to play by note, he was humiliated and felt cheated that it should come so easily to me, a little kid, what he had to work so hard for as an old man.

So, just like my older sister … and for the same reasons, I suspect … they both soon gave up for good and forever any attempt to learn to play the piano. But Daddy qualified it with some truths when he said:

“Bein’ an artist and playin’ musical instruments is for rich people. It takes an awful lot of time. And I have to spend my time and energy makin’ a living to support my family.” Then he added, as an afterthought,“Rich people get rich off the backs of the poor.”

However, I would qualify it with: “The Haves” and “The Have-nots” can usually be traced back to “The Did’s” and “The Did-nots.” (Readers Digest)

For example, the “Haves” did not have a lot of kids and wives! They chose “Quality over Quantity.”

Even so, Daddy had learned to play the harmonica as a young man. When I was 10, he taught me how to play “Home, Sweet Home” on it. From there, I was off and running, easily picking out by ear other tunes on the harmonica.

But something I could never do was whistle, though Daddy could whistle like a Pro — the only one in our family that could ever do that, far as I know. Though we all really tried hard to learn how to whistle.

In fact, when I was nine years old, it was quite a funny sounding scene around our home and yard, there for a while: All of us kids and even Mother went about trying to “whistle a happy tune,” when, at best, we weren’t blowing much more than our lips, hot air, and a lot of strange sounds!

But whenever Dad was at home and working around the place, he was his own radio — and ours too! His whistling could be heard throughout the home and yard. And I loved it — loved his beautiful whistling of tunes that were always right on pitch.

In fact, one breezy spring morning in Hurricane, Utah, when I was around eleven, I was blown away when I heard Daddy out in the barn milking Bossy, our auburn Jersey cow, exquisitely whistling the hit tune from the 1950s Musical Oklahoma!: “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!”

Mother was a trained concert pianist. But Daddy’s musicianship was that of a gifted, born Whistler! I never realized, back then, what an asset and talent it truly is to be able to whistle — whistle any melody beautifully! Oh, how I would love to be able to do that myself.

PART 9

Ma & Pa on their land, the Galeana Springs, near Colonia LeBaron, Chihuahua, Mexico

“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.” Winston Spencer Churchhill

In the previous blog, we were talking about some more of my father’s accomplishments and sacrifices. Among other such memorabilia is the following: He was a proud Veteran of World War I. He fought with the 308th Engineers from Ohio to the Rhine. There are videos of his Platoon on YouTube, showing them constructing a bridge, among other things.

While with his Platoon in France, during his WWI Service, Daddy got to meet Winston Spencer Churchhill! So he had double the reason, on January 24, 1965, for taking three days off work to keep his ear tuned to the radio all day and into the night when Churchhill died.

Yes, for three days he listened to the constant end-to-end radio broadcasts about world-famous leader Winston Spencer Churchhill as Radio Broadcasters expounded upon the many great accomplishments and services this icon had performed for society. Daddy could especially relate to Churchill’s accomplishments when it came to World War I and World War II. Sadly, I didn’t even know who Winston Spencer Churchill was!

It figures, as, at the time Churchill died, I was eighteen years old, had been married off in an arranged marriage at age sixteen, and held captive in the LeBaron doomsday cult in Mexico since August 1960.

August 1960 was the unfortunate date my parents uprooted our family, locks, stocks, shocks, and barrels, to move to Zion “to gather and mingle with the Saints and avoid the calamities that were coming very soon to wipe out the wicked. (Colonia LeBaron was “Zion.”) In hindsight, I see it was really quite the other way around: Gathering to Zion was nothing but a calamity!

I had barely graduated from eighth grade, in Hurricane, Utah, before we left for this “Zion.” My parents walked us right into a ready-made viper’s den and cult calamity, thinking they were doing just the opposite — preparing for the end of the world that was due any week … if not sooner.

Well, it WAS the end of my world! Their man-made CALAMITY wiped out and ruined my hopes for “The good life.” I have been trying to do catch-up ever since.

As cult-fate would have it, there was plenty of wickedness going on in so-called Zion “to mingle with.” It turned out to be quite a little colony of “Saints” — or a “Little House of Horrors”!

I’m just glad it wasn’t another Jonestown! At least my self-proclaimed Prophet Uncle Joel never asked us to drink the Kool-Aid. However, self-proclaimed Prophet Uncle Ervil was quite another story.

As my Memoir unfolds, you shall hear what I mean. Because I intend to unmask the Colonia LeBaron Mormon fundamentalist cult life I endured while stuck living eight years in Mexico down past the Rio Grande — a life I barely survived to blog about. It was about fifty-eight years ago, as of March 2018, that my family “gathered to Zion.” I have been trying to get over it ever since.

Their prophet, my Uncle Joel LeBaron, had prophesied: “The destructions foreseen in the Book of Revelations are coming any day now to rain down upon the United States! Mexico is the land of refuge for the Saints.” Mother claimed she, too, had seen this “end of days” in a dream!

Go figure: The sky was falling … another Chicken-Little story … or LeBaron story? If you want to get power, claim you’ve had a revelation, a dream that shows the world is coming to an end. You’ll most likely get some followers.

The truth is, yours and my world IS coming to an end: We never know the hour of our death … the end of our OWN world. (Maybe that’s what scares people to death so much!) But the world, itself, and new life will continue on, as it has for thousands of millenniums.

If you claim “the sky is falling/ the world is coming to an end, some Millennial’s (i.e., Messianic apocalyptic dooms-dayers who believe the end of the world and “the Millennium” is imminent) will likely believe and follow you. Chicken Little sure got his following … if you recall that children’s fairytale.

But now back to reality: After being pulled out of school and moved to that secluded and barren, Chihuahuan Desert wilderness, I had no chance for further education.

That was a calamity in itself! Quite the end of my world — at least as I had known it. I, a Bookworm, wasn’t even allowed to read, let alone have any contact with the outside world, in any way, shape, or form. So, no: I wouldn’t know who Churchhill was.

Before I was married, while living in LeBaron’s “Zion,” all my family-of-origin had, as far as connections with the outside world were concerned, was Daddy’s little battery-run radio — which only he was allowed to use!

Even worse, all we ever heard about from Mother was mostly cult dogma and propaganda. And how great she and her family heritage was: Her father, mother, brothers — especially her brothers, Joel and Ervil, the “prophets” of the cult! Mother had to be number one. So, sadly, I never got to know how special my father’s Spencer heritage was. For some reason, Daddy never mentioned it either. Or maybe he did but I wasn’t around to hear.

NOTE: Though there is more to relate, as to my father’s history, I will relate it in the context of my own continuing Memoirs.

For now, I conclude my nine-part series,”My Daddy,” (Renamed with the lyrics of the following comical song I wrote. There is a verse in it about my amazing father. But first this Intro: ~ My Song: “Pretty City Chic: A Bit o’ Bio in Verse”

Stephany Spencer-LeBaron, age 38

Pretty City Chic

Dearest friends and fans, Please note: This tongue-in-cheek song I wrote Is half-finished so I don’t gloat, But pray my poem won’t get your goat;

It’s late — blog’s due “mañana;” Check the song later on … uh … You’ll find it’s been “re-wrote”… “Needs work” is my last quote. But please enjoy what I wrote; Now I humorously emote:

Pretty City Chic

Hey! I’m a Hack Who’s written this hit Called “PRETTY CITY CHIC”– A HEE-HA COMEDY SONG — A BIT O’ BIO IN VERSE, FOR BETTER OR WORSE, WITH TRUTH ‘N’ EXAGGERATION INTERSPERSED:

HEY, they’ve called me “Pretty City Chick,” But Hillbilly music is my shtick; My Hillbilly ways are here to stick, So you may as well git over it — Join in ’n’ sing a bit With “City Chic” —

Born in Mexican sticks in 1966. I’ve dual citizenship — What a trip! Now Shit-kickin’ music is my shtick.

I’m an all-American-mongrel, Apple-pie girl — A Hines-57 mixed-up mutt With apple pie stickin’ to my butt ’n’ gut — But Red-necked reactionaries ain’t my thing; I’m here fer music and to sing!

Yeah, I’m an All-American-Mexican, Scots-Irish “Mick,” With Welch ’n’ English, So, sure, I’m a Brit … With French, German, Mohawk Indian a bit. If there’s no Tom Slick Hidin’ in the pit, Far as I know, that’s about it — That‘s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!

My father was a proud Veteran of World War I. Those Vets were well-appreciated For what they’d done! Pa was an artist, creative — Jack-of-all-trades; Master of a few — Good at many things — What couldn’t he do?

Ma was a Creative — Artist thru ’n’ thru; Poet, Pianist, Painter — Whew! Loved talking religion, old or new — Long as it agreed with what she already “knew.” She graduated with a BA in Journalism too; Quite an accomplishment — Ma was sixty-two!

She was runnin’ me competition then, For I was still in College too. But her motto was: “Anything you can do, I can do better; I can do anything better than you!” (And she meant it too!)

REFRAIN: Hey, they call me “Pretty City Chic,” But Hillbilly music is my “shtick,” My Hillbilly ways are here to stick! So you may as well “git” over it; Join in ‘n’ sing a bit With “City Chic,” ‘Shit-kickin’ music is my shtick. Well, that’s my story And I’m “shtickin’ ” to it: “I’m Pretty City Chic!”

(By Stephany Spencer)

NOTE: The following is an iPhone video of me at the California Writers Club, March 2017, performing the above song I wrote, “PRETTY CITY CHIC” (BEFORE I RECENTLY “RE-WRIT” PARTS OF IT!):

NOTE: This concludes my nine–part Series, “My Daddy,” renamed “Pt 1-9: My Father Floyd Spencer, Fundamentalist Mormon LeBaron Cult Member.”

Thanks for visiting and sharing my blog site with me.

I love to write. But it’s icing on the blog when I have readers who devour it on top of my cooking it up!

In future blogs, I’ll tell you a little about my maternal grandparents and Mother — How she and Daddy met, some of their adventures together, etc. —

That is, I may tell you about the beginning of my father’s Mormon fundamentalist cult saga that culminated with his bringing me into the world — along with many other kids and events — which culminated in my creating this Blog. Chain reactions? That’s life!

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Pt 1-9: Floyd O. Spencer, Mormon LeBaron Cult Member PART 1 My Memoir: My Daddy, Floyd Otto Spencer My Daddy, Floyd Otto Spencer, age 19…

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pressednpeeled · 5 years ago

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5 ways rap has influenced your life.

“She's dead! She's gone forever, and YOU killed her!” cried out an angry old hip-hop head at a young man cruising by bumping new music labeled “mumble rap.” In This colorful age of constant change, there is no room for ignorance and discrimination of art, it is all after all, art. Leaning on being a sport today, rap and hip hop communities have divided themselves by confusing themselves with an old school new school divide. Old school considering “good hip hop and rap” to only be music done by the pioneers, new school being more attached to a feel or vibe of the musical context. While many rap veterans did drop the first wave of influence, nothing will ever go unchanged, especially social expression outlets.That being said we have to understand that the older fans relate so loyally to older music, because it paints memories of a very alive, important time in their lives.

In this listicle I will cover the significance of raps influence on American culture. I will go over some history of hip-hop, and its political influence that has influenced the nation culture deeply. We will touch on rap not only being a genre, but a verb as well. We will cover it's subcultures and the competitive side of the art that has kept this genres heart beating.

The corporate world catalyzed the culture into economical prevalence, in turn officially commercialized rap. With rap on the rise due somewhat to corporate influence, the topics began to degrade and became financially arrogant. The newest artists were getting views based on flashy appearances and being antagonistically controversial, not for honed skills. Like a blessing in disguise, this allowed bad examples to be displayed and criticized, suddenly,we were able to truly appreciate skilled Artists again. One could understand how the older generations opinions became judgmental, then stagnant as they fell into the generational cycle and fulfilled their destiny. We must also consider that older listeners are generally less familiar with technological advances and therefore decline to discover newer rhyme that isn't negatively publicized.

When Nas label the genre “dead” in 2006 many older fans were confused: they simply couldn't accept the fact that culture (and along with culture, music) does not stay the same forever; it outgrows us; it outruns us. Furthermore sub genres that confuse older crowds are what make up a lot of prevalent music today. That being said, rap has had some awful productions in recent years, experimenting with new technology, motivations, styles and of course corporate influence. The record labels saw financial opportunities and began taking over artistic moves and filtering genuine content as if they designed the artists. As time goes on new artists emerge that remind us what great hip hop or rap are.

Here are 5 reasons Hip-Hop is alive, well, and actually doing better than ever before.

Rap is a verb. performance, a sport, an activity a past time, rap has been considered all of these things at some point or another. It was a way to express or deliver a message to others that conveys energy intelligence, and creativity. Writer Doran Rosenberg talks about how hip hops basics evolved culturally and organically. People rapped for the love of expression, to explore uncharted artistic depths, and to paint a beautiful portrait with words. Then unfortunately Rap was exploited by corporations seeking financial success over artistic quality. This is the main reason the genre has struggled lyrically over the last few years with the addition of some psycho social implications that began to shift the reason artists began making music in the first place. While people began wanting to do it for the glory, riches and fame, the love for the craft and unique self expression became unpopular sadly.

.https://www.elitedaily.com/music/music-news/critics-are-crying-the- decline-of-rap-is-hip-hop-really-dead.

2. Rap is a part of america's political history and a beacon for social issues

Rap is not only is an artistic venue, but also serves as a political beacon for inner city communities to express things going on that the rest of the world, doesn't see. On theodysseyonline.com Bailey Marshal speaks on the old rap coming back threw new, rappers like Kendrick Lamar, who proved rap is merely a reflection of society and a true form of art.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-hip-hop-isnt-dead

Lamar is one of the few rappers in a very very long time to use the power of politics threw his works. Comparable to N.W.A. in the way they reflected on police brutality and social problems when racial injustice in Ghetto communities began to catch attention during the 1980′s. Most of the country had no idea these issues were happening until N.W.A made The problems public in 1988 with the song “Fuck The Police,” loud, offensive and boisterous but these Hero were actually doing a great job of exposing police racial profiling African and Hispanics Americans in the inner cities. It wasn't until the 1991 police beating of Rodney King that was broadcaster that these issues had gained more attention, later. Hip Hop gave us a voice that we could raise when the racial discrimination was a bigger problem, setting the beginning mark of a revolutionary time in history for many Americans. Americans cultural involvement in rap is deep rooted within freedom of speech and the reform of racial and social injustice. So why how could it die when it has nurtured the american society in so many social ways.

3. Rap will live on because of the social side of it.

Rappers have not always been the best role models, and beginning in 2000 the confusion of rap started with the transition of the era that affected the sport almost totally. Overly Explicit shock material or irrelevant topics began arising to only receive attention as quickly as possible. While some music did seem outrageous we still must understand that some artist were only attempting to convey intense strong feelings into words, not worried about making the listeners uncomfortable or offended, like Eminem. Many rappers around this time also fueled career off rivalry like Soldier boy, and 50 cent, taking shots at any already successful artist simply to stir up fan bases of the known artist to create controversy about them, generating free advertisement for them. These rappers seemed desperate for financial success and fame even though some did already have tasteful artistry to them. Angered by the perpetuated success of some of these braggadocios bonafide clowns, slowly, but surely the minds that Tupac Shakur spoke of, began to spark up, into the world. These heroes began checking new foo foo artist, reminding us of the important values of this poetic craft.

Kendrick Lamar single handedly reignite the passion for hip hop with a message to rappers of today to get up and realize the loss of control within the industry as an artists. Kendrick re raised the bar in the song “Control”. He compares himself to the greats and calls out all the top players in today's hip hop industry and even a few friends on the song with him!. Stating that we must not forget that hip hop is a sport and everyone should know, right now, hes the king of it.

“I heard the barbershops be in great debates all the time, 'Bout who's the best MC: Kendrick, Jigga, and Nas, Eminem, André 3000; the rest of y'all new n*ggas just new n*ggas, don't get involved! And I ain't rockin' no more designer shit! White T’s and Nike Cortez, this red Corvettes anonymous,I'm usually homeboys with the same n*ggas I’m rhymin' with, But this is hip-hop, and them n*ggas should know what time it is, And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big K.R.I.T., Wale, Pusha T, Meek Millz, A$AP Rocky, Drake,Big Sean, Jay Electron', Tyler, Mac Miller, I got love for you all, but I'm tryna murder you n*ggas! Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you n*ggas They don't wanna hear not one more noun or verb from you n*ggas.

What is competition? I'm tryna raise the bar high!”

This is important to understand because the craft is still so sought after now by more people than ever. we could never dismiss it because we have grown to love it as a nation just like we love our controversy and sports.

4. Rap is poetry

Teachers refer to Shakespeare in school to understand language. As time passes we find more monumental lyricist like 2pac. Pacs impact on the world went as far as schools quoting and studying his works to teach, like we have before with Shakespeare. Colleges around the world offers entire courses on Tupac Shakur's work today. In this article by Micah Mattix, he talks about how rap is not generally considered poetry because it's grammatically incorrect and it “has to have music behind it”. He goes on to say that rap is less serious than poetry and is more profane. All these things said are entirely false and are refuted in the comments by multiple people defending the poetic craft. Comparing other artist like Beck and Bob Dylan to poetry, writing it out in sonnet form to show that it reflections of poetry. Consider the following words from Beck:

Walking to the other side

With the Devil trying to take my mind

And my soul’s just a silhouette

On the ashes of a cigarette

Illusions never fake their lives

Trick cards fool the eyes

Carry zeros over till they add up

Bury tears in the chapters you shut

Sometimes the jail can’t chain the cell

And the rain’s too plain to tell

All alone by a barren well

Scarecrow’s only scaring himself

Consider the following words from Bob Dylan:

In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes

I bargained for salvation an’ they gave me a lethal dose

I offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn

“Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm”

https://www.theamericanconservative.com/prufrock/is-rap-poetry/

5. Rap could never expire because its saved on file

Hip-hop has been influencing pop culture for years. As lingo becomes more socially accepted, the crossover appeal is inevitable for rap to get the recognition it deserves.

In 2000 Lil’ Wayne coined the word “bling bling” to the oxford dictionary, forever validating his permanent mark on the rap game. Then the next year Beyonce added the word “bootylicious” to the dictionary. Although Snoop Dogg was the originator of the word in 1992, destiny's child took the term to the top with the release of their song that still is one of their highest selling hits to date. Unless someone can destroy every single copy of the dictionary physical and digital then maybe they can put an end to this rap thing but unless that happens hip hop will be right here just like revolutions in history textbooks are. https://www.xxlmag.com/news/2016/05/hip-hop-words-in-oxford-english-dictionary/

Rap is an art form and when is put on display its subject to judgment and an interpretation from the side that is appreciative and the side that isn't. Our parents aren't totally wrong about new bad music, but they need to understand hip hop and rap will never die, for it has only began forming major sub genres like rock formed punk, and jazz formed acid. More and more people are becoming involved in the rap culture every day. The culture involves itself within our society more and more everyday . Weather it be politics or social issues, rap ingrains itself into us organically and electronically. The concept is comparable to saying that singing is dying, or comedy is dying, it just doesn't make any sense at all. Hip hop and rap will remain strong in our societies all over the world, continuing to cycle through history as it has since it began. Because rap culture is socially tied to us it creates our history, our texts and our lives. it is a self sufficient competitive art and therefore will forever evolve with new topics, problems, and people. Music is simply a reflection of the high energy human existence. regardless of its spelling, and bold topics, hip hop and rap will remain abrasive to political foul play, acting as a beacon for untapped issues that the genres people will never let it slide by unnoticed.So to all those embittered old hip hop heads that idolized artist they grew up, please understand that you don't understand, change in inevitable and if it wasn't, everything would be the same. Variety is the spice of life my friend, until you understand that, please go find a cave to cry in, But remember, “I ain’t mad atcha”-Tupac Shakure.

#hiphopisnotdead

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danwetzelsports · 8 years ago

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In lieu of the above video (courtesy of @nickkrause08) showing the friendly skies turning into fight club – not to mention all the other airline incidents of late – I am updating my recent post/rant on the worst people you’ll meet on your flight.

Hint: it isn’t the flight attendants, TSA agents or that overstressed/underpaid woman working the gate.

As noted in the first post, flying can be stressful and disappointing. I get it. I’ve flown over one million miles on Delta/Northwest alone and probably hundreds of thousands on other airlines. I’ve been to airports big and small, in airplanes big and small and seated next to passengers big and small. I’ve been stranded, abandoned and slept one night in a chair inside the Minneapolis airport. Whatever horror story you have, there’s a good chance I can match it.

Still, come on people. We have an actual brawl on an airplane? This is the discount flight from Burbank, not the prison yard. If someone disrespects you, chill. In fact, always chill. Your flight will go better. And sleep. And shut up. The other passengers don’t want to talk to you. Trust me.

Somehow the public momentum is to defend the customers and blame everything on the airlines. No, it’s usually us, the passengers.

Remember the woman whose baby almost got bumped because the flight attendant was trying to remove a doublewide stroller she wanted to bring down the aisle? Could have been handled better but … why the hell were you trying to bring a doublewide stroller onto a plane when it clearly and always is prohibited?

How about the woman who went to the media because flight attendants wouldn’t let her go to the bathroom while the fasten seat belt light was on and instead handed her a cup? Pretty funny story, but there is a reason why they have a fasten seatbelt light. It isn’t safe to wander around the plane. You can disagree with their judgment – there are many policies on board that make no sense. That’s still the deal. It’s probably a federal law. This isn’t your living room. You want full control of your actions? The interstate is right over there.

And yes, getting bumped from flights happens but the practice of overselling planes is good for customers, because it helps lower costs and allows more people each day to book flights.

Airline travel is amazing – amazingly safe, amazingly convenient and amazingly cheap. Perfect. Not at all. Anyone who expects perfect, let alone on a $119 supersaver, is a fool.

So here are my updated and now expanded nine worst people on a plane (in no particular order). And I’m not even getting to the obvious ones such as belligerent drunks or the would-be UFC brawlers in the video or the barking dogs – no dogs other than guide dogs should be allowed in the damn main cabin, by the way. Give me a break with the “comfort pet.”

1. Starbucks Lady

It’s a 6:30 a.m. cross-country flight and you felt the need to get a Venti double Frappuccino or whatever that creation is? Not only are you going to spend the first hour of the flight sucking loudly through a straw, but that creation has enough caffeine and sugar to drop a horse. Look lady, no one is asking you to fly the plane. Exactly how alert do you need to be?

You want to know how to make air travel better? Go to sleep. Flight goes faster, you don’t need to be entertained, you can ignore the other passengers and you catch up on some rest (fitful, but whatever). Don’t tell me you can’t sleep on planes between a gargle of Starbucks. You have to have a plan – turn off electronics, read a book, avoid stimulants. It isn’t hard. I feel for like 6-foot-10 guys, but you aren’t that.

Don’t book a window seat, drink a massive coffee and then wonder why you are as fidgety as a kindergartener, unable to sleep and have to get up three times to go to the bathroom – thus bothering the rest of us.

2. Big bag guy

It ain’t going to fit, buddy. Maybe it’s compensating for other parts of their life. Maybe they just really think they are going to get over on the airline for that $25 baggage fee. Whatever it is, that massive roller isn’t getting into the tiny overheard compartment.

These guys are the worst. They push and slam and bitch and moan. The people already seated below them are panicked and jostled. Some properly sized bag is inevitably getting crushed up there.

The guy gets angrier and angrier as he tries to defy the laws of physical space. Soon he’s regaling everyone about that time the airline lost his luggage in Albuquerque – cry me a river, we’re not on your side.

Then the poor flight attendant has to come by and tell him he needs to check it (for free) and he gets mad at them. Everyone’s stress goes up. Look, pay the fee or pack less. It’s simple. How much crap you need for this weekend in Erie?

The baggage fee thing is horrible but they have to do it because all you fools will only pay for the cheapest flight that comes up on Expedia. Then you complain when the flight isn’t luxurious like it supposedly used to in the Mad Men days or something. It’s like someone buying a Chevy Spark and then bitching it isn’t as roomy as a Cadillac Escalade.

3. Idiot/Patriot in the TSA line

You know these people are there to stop us from getting blown up, right? Imperfect system but it’s the best we’ve got. No matter what you think, TSA agents want to get rid of you as quickly as possible. They are trying to be professional under impossible circumstances.

So, can you please pay attention? September 11 was over a decade and a half ago … the freakin’ laptop has to come out of the bag. Yes, a cell phone is a metal item. And actually I am not surprised that your oversized belt buckle caused the x-ray to ping. It’s not shocking at all.

This isn’t that hard. Follow the stupid rules. You’re slowing up the line because you are a clown.

The only people worse are the ones who believe the TSA is infringing on their Constitutional rights with that there new-fangled body scanner or a pat down or merely existing. What, you think I’m a terrorist? If you’re that into your privacy, then cool. Just find a better way to get the woods of Idaho.

Twitter follower @FakeKevinKugler added a subset to this: the person who was sent to TSA PreCheck but decides to clog everything up by stripping down anyway. You undeservedly reached the promised land and this is how you act? Pay attention.

(Then again, TSA PreCheck should not just be handed out randomly like it is these days. Change that rule, TSA.)

4. Burrito Bowl Dude

Tight connections and long trips can mean there is limited time to get a meal at the airport. And we know you aren’t getting anything substantive in coach. So people bring food on the plane.

Here’s a tip. Maybe on those days, you just have a protein bar. Or eat right away as you wait for everyone else to board. Not these people. They have to bring an elaborate, often sloppy meal, let it sit in a bag for an hour stinking up the place and then pull it out and try to spread out.

There’s usually some assembly required, some salsa to pour over, some Sriracha or salad dressing. Then a knife and fork come out. You need the dexterity of Houdini to eat this thing in such a small space so rice or lettuce is inevitably flying everywhere and chicken is spilling and it’s a massive mess.

You’re bothering me now. I don’t care if it’s good.

5. Drink Cart Enthusiast

They need to get rid of the drink cart on all flights under like two hours. It’s a rolling debacle. If you are so desperate for hydration or a tiny snack then buy your own.

Yet they pull that thing out and people act like dogs that just saw their master walk in with the treat jar.

You’ve never had a Diet Coke before? A package of five to six pretzels? I have had people wake me up to let me know the drink cart is here so I wouldn’t miss out.

The drink cart blocks the aisle, slams knees and elbows and generally only gives the customers something else to bitch about because they didn’t get the whole can or found the peanuts an unsatisfying meal. You know, back in the day they used to carve up steak. Yeah, well, back in the day flights cost a thousand bucks and planes crashed all the time.

I once had a 37-minute flight to Indianapolis delayed for 1:45 because “catering” needed to restock the drink cart. That means we could have flown to Indy, deplaned, slammed a beer at the airport bar, reboarded and returned.

6. Maintenance Know-It-All Guy

I’m as suspicious as anyone when they announce that the flight is being delayed for maintenance because I assume they use that excuse to cut down on complaints. You know why? Because it works.

Or it should except for the guy standing in the gate area who immediately starts huffing and arguing that there is no maintenance issue and it’s a big conspiracy. Really, how exactly do you know? Congrats to you if you truly are so proficient in diagnosing a $300 million airplane that you don’t even have to look at it to draw your conclusion. If you really enjoy such a skillset, however, maybe you should make a career out of that rather than schlepping to Des Moines with the rest of us. Seems like something that would pay well.

You don’t want them to check and make sure the plane is working properly? You’re troubled by an airline that demands all the parts and emergency back-ups are working.

You do realize what the alternative is, correct? If you think you’re late for your cousin’s wedding weekend now …

7. Delusions of Grandeur in 38B

Many Twitter followers mentioned this one. You’re way in the back of the plane yet somehow believe once the plane arrives at its destination and pulls up to the skybridge that you’ll somehow beat the crowd and race off the plane first. I get the desperation to make a connecting flight, but it isn’t happening. Usain Bolt couldn’t charge the aisle fast enough to make it. Accept reality and wait your turn.

8. Frequent flyer poser

Submitted by Twitter follower @BoneilHoops is: “The guy that tells you how much he travels – has Gold Medallion bag tag.”

Ah yes, the “sort-of” frequent flyer who loves to yell at the gate agent or flight attendant about how much of a valued customer they are when, well, they really aren’t that valued of a customer. They gave George Clooney in the movie his own number to call for a reason. They gave you an easily identifiable bag tag and you may have gotten that by falling for their credit card deal, not actually flying.

I once heard a guy complaining to a gate agent about not getting an upgrade and asked what he needed to do to get upgraded to first class. This was on a flight to Europe no less. The woman calmly said, “fly our airline more.” Classic.

9. Boarding Group Z Gate Blockers

More Twitter recommendations: apparently these people, who crowd around and block the boarding gate even though their group isn’t getting called for awhile, are referred to as “gate lice.” I had no idea, but it works.

They have a process to get on the plane. The Diamond Medallion and First Class people go first. Deal with it. If you find yourself in Group 7 or whatever, get the hell out of the way. Standing in front of the little ropes that lead to the ticket scanning machine when you aren’t getting on for the next 20 minutes assures only one thing, it will take even longer to get on.

This is a partial list. In summary, as much as I sometimes hate airline bureaucracy, I hate you people even more – not enough to have a fist fight in row 18 over it, but still.

#commonsense

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letuscomposefanfics · 8 years ago

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I'm Not Convinced Part 3

(Phillip Hamilton X Reader) Words: 5200+ Summary: High School was a pain in the ass. You and single mother don’t have much money. She works double shift and double jobs. One of her jobs is working for the Hamilton family as a part time house keeper. Ironically, the biggest douche happens to be part of that family. (I can’t write a summary) AU: Modern AU Warnings: Just horrible grammar.. Cursing?? Tell me if there is any I did not put. Cringey. I’m tired so there is a lot of errors.

The night had soft wind, and the city lights were a sight for sore eyes. Parking lights shining like a army of fireflies flutter by as the angry red (much like your dress) tail lights head another direction. The scent of smoke takes you back at your stay that was old, but still bracket your memories: Gambling Capital of the World or formerly known as Las Vegas. The other city with bright lights and excitement! As a little gal you would wander the streets with your pops, and get a virgin pina colada in the lobby of Excalibur. That the three towered and red and blue castle-style hotel was the hotel your family would occasionally go to. On late nights, the three of you would ride on the moving walkways that were provided in the tunnel to the Luxor- a Egyptian themed hotel. The pyramid always greeted you when you rode up the highway to the city. The building was tiled with tinted windows and the top was a light on the tip of the pyramid, which would generate a beam of light. Majestic sand stone sculptures of gods, goddesses, and maybe a pharaoh, if you could remember, were planted on the sides of the structure.

You anxiously sigh out a steamy breath. Wealthy men and women walked elegantly in their clothing, which would cost your soul, entered in a brick red mansion blaring with classical music. Vines were already hooked onto the mansion, giving it a charming look. Lanky, black metal fences bordered the house securely, which left a big elegant gate cracked wide open for the guests. Lights stood tall besides the brick pathway with guest sauntering through them. Two guards were pinpointed next to the entrance of the large resident with a dull and rather expressionless fact. The said wealthy men and women revealed their invitation to the guards, and nodded a silent thank you as they strolled in with posture. The dress you were equipped with wasn’t exactly from the top french designer. You tried to stabilize yourself in your damn heels as you stood there waiting for your mom getting out the car. The invitation wrinkled in your sweat drenched hands as you blankly stared at the paper containing your name. You could feel eyes on you as they pass by and saunter over to the resident. You constantly picked at your hair while you chew the inside of your cheek. The feeling that nailed your stomach was always familiar and always failed to cease. It was that little devil on your shoulder that would squeak, “You are gonna screw up and you’ll be the example a parent will use when a kid fucks up.”

“(Y/N) (L/N).” A man robotically states your name on a microphone. You were twelve, the age where kids bloom in judgmental bitches and act like the the big kids in the park. It was the end of hell and the eve of something spectacular. Spectacular as in summer’s natural tanning light and a excuse to stay in with tub full of ice cream.The dream of homework-free, late nights, and multiple sleep overs made you stir with excitement. Traditionally, the school hosts something for the students to show their talents and find themselves a possible career. You were number five on the list of your peers. You, a immature twelve year old toddler, slapped on too much makeup, which your friend suggest you and them their selves should doll you up. You were pretty sure you had pre-mature wrinkles because of the weight of your foundation. Once your number was called up you clicked in your one one inch heels that had dwarfed sized bows near the edge of the entrance of your shoes. Click, Click, Click. You wore a emerald green velvet dress accompanied with small little crystals planted on the top part of your attire. You shifted in the heels uncomfortably with the spotlight glaring down. The fear began to accelerate in a monstrous rate, and your short breaths took in the dust from the curtain. You sang with nervous little waver that come once in awhile. At the (sweet) ending of your song, your rubbed your eyes. Giggles popped up from the crowd like unwanted mushrooms in a soft green field. Your heart quickened and embarrassed tears sat on the edge of your eyelids. The childish laughter were carved into your memories. They exchange comparisons of what you look like with your smudged make up. You hoped to god some student pitied your appearance, and the laughter that made you wobble in embarrassment and regret stopped.The teachers on the edge of each row silenced them with a sharp ‘hush’. The principle guided you off stage with a arm around your shrunken shoulders. The button on his dress shirt’s sleeve scraped against the blade of your shoulder lightly. “You did wonderfully, Ms. (L/N).” He reassured with a clap on a the shoulder. You murmured a ‘thank you’ in return. “Now, go get yourself cleaned up.” You clicked away in your heels. Catching a small glimpse of yourself in decade old mirrors, you whimpered. “Cake face . Cake face.” The heels began to exclaim angrily against the tiles as you passed the mirrors. You swiftly closed the door of the (handicap) stall. Popping off your heels as you sit on the bathroom. Like in a soap opera, you wept and sank into the sand of embarrassment and the feeling of becoming the clown of your school. What would they think of you in the future? They don’t remember much you will soon realize through out the years. You were just so insecure to be blind about the fact it was a smidge on the window not a coat of paint. But, you are still blindfolded by insecurities and anxiety. The memory still jumps on you, which sculps you for who you are right at the moment. You don’t cry at the memory, but you fear that someone will laugh at it in the future. No elixir can stop your stammering and the uncomfortable tickles in your stomach.

Your mom finally exited the vehicle with uniform on. The two of you crossed the street with her arm linked around yours. The clicks of your heels mocked you just like middle school. “Cake face. Cake face.” It now whispers. You sharply exhaled through your nose as you threw a glance behind the old vehicle. The flavoring of the smoke traveled through your mouth as you did. “No escapin’ now, huh?” You muttered under your breath. Your mom bounced on the ball of her feet with a bright smile. You offered a thin line as your mouth and a simple walk with stressed shoulders as you step. By the time you were near the enterance, your mom broke off her link with you and stated she was going to the entrance for the staff. “Be good to the Hamilton, okay?” The older women pecked a wet kiss on your cheek. “I’ll see you inside!” Your mom scampered off to the side of the building. The colony of waiters and waitress all rushed through the door. Your mom being the last one to get in. “And then now is the time to escape from socializing and seeing real people other than my mom.” You narrated. You began to twist your away from the residents. “(Y/N!)” A voice exclaimed cheerfully before you could turn you heard the familiar sound of heels, but they didn’t whisper a thing. Ms. Hamilton smiles brightly as you face her with a polite and awkward smile. The border of her black strands glowed a coffee stain brown as she stood in the light. Her dress held the pigment of the baby blue sky and her neck held up a golden pendant. She looked elegant. “Ms. Hamilton, it’s good to see you.” You greeted. You fidgeted with your hands with the craving for escape. Eliza or Elizabeth Hamilton giggled, her childish giggles were unforgettable and lovable. You reciprocated with a small awkward laughter of your own- not as adorable as her’s, though, you thought. Mrs. Hamilton startled you when she grasped your hand with a smile Alexander Hamilton fell for. You didn’t withdraw your hand from hers. “Please, darling. Call me Eliza, okay?” She corrected politely. “Okay!” You blurted out. Eliza laughed once again. Making you swoon in response. “I’m your friend! No need for formalities with friends, am I correct?” She questioned, knowing she was indeed correct. You nodded rapidly with a shy smile. “Now, what are you doing leaving so early? I haven’t even seen you walked through those doors. Were you planning to never come?” She joked. “Well. Um…I.. Panicked? I guess-guess.. Y-you could say?” You stammered trying to find a polite way to tell the truth. Eliza shook her head and gave out her charming laughter accompanied with her lovely smile. “Calm down, love. I was only joking. “ Eliza Hamilton reassured you with a pat on the back of your hand. “I love your dress, sweetheart! You look very beautiful in it! Did your mom do your hair?” Shades of pink was fanned across the bridge of your nose as she complimented you. “T-Thank you and yeah, yeah she did.” You shyly answered. “I-I love your dress too! Blue is one my favorite colors. Y-your necklace look vintage.” You awkwardly complimented. “I think that’s pretty cool.” You added. “Thank you, my mother gave it to me as a wedding present. This little thing has been in the family for years.” Mrs.Hamilton chirped. “Evening, Mrs. Hamilton.” A man greets stoically as he makes a beeline over to the entrance. The man was old, but not frail, he wore a tailcoat and wooden cane that was on his right side. He ignores your presence and kept his head high. Douche. Rich douche. “Evening, sir.” She nods in response before he passes the two of you. It was silent for a moment when enters through the door. “Serious.” You say with a small laughter. She giggles and nods in agreement.”That’s how people are sometimes.” She shrugs carelessly.“Come on the party is inside! Your mother would be worried if you were boxed missing!” Eliza grins excitedly as she drags you over through the door frame. ” O-oh, wait! No, i-it’s okay!” You attempt to plead, but your words were shrinked down by her excitement. Your heart beat accelerated, the feeling of few pairs of eyeballs on you made you shiver. The wooden flooring of the house was a strong coffee bean pigment and the sky-high ceiling was pinching onto the end of a glass chandelier. Two set of stairs were planted on the opposite side; curving inward, connecting to the top floor. People were in small petals of groups chattering away with appetizers and/or drinks in hand. They laughed comfortably at a joke you couldn’t hear. You hoped that joke wasn’t you. “Lot’s of people you got here.” You thought out loud, avoiding the crowds eyes by staring at the back of Eliza’s black hair. “Unfortunately, that’s just the small portion of the party.” Eliza Hamilton smiled as she dragged you.“Most of them are in the ballroom and the other portion are chatting away in the yard. Even though it’s hard to handle, it’s fun to have guest.” Eliza added on. Her response made you even more panicked. The orchestra was loud and clear as you both made your way through the maze of guest. The violins out played the other instruments that were muddle behind them. They played a soft and familiar tune, but the name was never confidently made up in your head- you did know it was possibly by Beethoven or Mozart. You muttered out a few “sorry”s and “excuse me”s every time your shoulder kiss with another guest. “Cake face. Cake face. Cake face.” It whispered in the same volume, same tone. Never changing the pattern, it follows every step you take. Crushing your toes like a toddler trying to learn how to dance with their father. Eliza dragged you to the elegant ballroom. Three sets of chandeliers aligned with each other on the ceiling. At least half of the room was dancing, the other half chat about something you will never know. You spotted a group of men laughing and gawking about a topic you chose not to eavesdrop in. “Alexander!” Mrs. Hamilton hollered. The man in a emerald vest spun around instantly when he had heard his name. He grinned politely, but forced- almost like he was ready for another conversation being dosed down his throat. The crinkles in the corner of his eyes relaxed and his smile was soft with adoration. Alexander’s eyes carried bags and the memory of sleepless nights. His glasses rode on the bridge of his nose, almost slipping. The older man’s black hair hovered slight over his shoulder. The ends of his hair was slightly fluffed out. “Eliza!” He responded cheerfully. Alexander spun back around,”Excuse me while I speak with my wife.” He mutters out. The men around him nodded and scuttle else where. Alexander spun around with a easy going smile. “My love, please meet Mrs. Manning’s daughter. (Y/N) please meet my true love, Alexander.” Mrs. Hamilton introduced. Confused, you were expecting Mrs. Hamilton to use your mother’s correct surname. Your stomach clenched even more anxiously, the man of house was in front of you. The boss of your mother. You smile politely towards Mr. Hamilton gave you the same polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hamilton.” You greet with your hand stuck out in front of you. Alexander chuckled as he shook your hand with a tight grip. His wife walked over by his side and looped her arm around his, snuggling up to his shoulder. Eliza’s chin sat on his shoulder as he began to continue. “It’s good to finally meet you, but please call me Alexander. There is no need for formalities.” Alexander Hamilton chided with a familiar correction that his wife has told you.“Your mother has talks about you a lot.” He added. “I hope only good things.” You joked awkwardly. The waiters offered the three of you a small portioned edible. You declined with a smile and a wave of a hand. The Hamiltons took their own snack and thanked them as they wandered off. “I assure you she’s proud to be your mother,” Eliza butted in the conversation.”She said that you used to play piano and that you are a very hard working student.” She began to list off. “Especially in english.” Eliza added with her kind smile never faltering. “I used to play piano, but I procrastinated and never practiced.” Idiotic idea for me to do,” you added. “I would still like to learn, but it’s hard to find a good deal.” You shared. It was silent between the three of you for a second. You nervously spun the bracelet around your wrist. “I have one question.” You started off. “If it’s okay for me to ask.” The couple nodded, wanting you to hope onto the next dialogue.” Why did you use my mom’s maiden instead of her name my dad gave us?” You asked. “Isn’t your mother’s last name Manning?” Eliza questioned. You nodded your head, perplexed by this situation.” It is, but it isn’t, like, the one my dad gave me and ma.” Eliza hummed,“Interesting, she filled out Manning.” The lady of the house muttered. You furrowed your brows, attempting to find an explanation. “She probably thought it was best to go by her maiden name for odd some reason. Like God, my mom works in mysterious ways.” You rambled, shrugging. “Now (Y/N), I heard my boy is in a few of your classes. How is he treating you?” Mr. Hamilton jested with a small chuckle. You chuckled along with the man. “He talks to me from times to time.” You state truthfully. “Sometimes we would have full on conversation.” Arguments. They were full on bashing arguments. “They mostly happen during first period.” Unadulterated moaning and groaning at each other is what happens in first period. “That’s great that you two are talking and getting along.” Eliza Hamilton chirped. “Yeah me too.” You humor her. “Philip!” Alexander exclaimed as he looked passed your shoulder. Your heart stopped. You were going to have to be dumped in a conversation with him forcefully. You couldn’t escape. “Pa, ma.” Philip greeted as walked up next to you. He glances to the side, but doesn’t catch you until he retraces his eyes at you. “(Y/N).” The younger Hamilton states your name curtly, he nods. “Philip,” You craned your body towards the boy.”It’s good to see you out of the classroom.” A smile tries to cling onto your lips. You heard laughter off in the distance. “I could say the same for yourself, (Y/N).” He responds with a forced grinned. Your smile faltered into a smaller grin. Phillip was handsomly addressed with the same design his father has soft, but with a blue pigment instead. He had a pair of tan slackers with sneakers. Lucky, mother fucker. You growled internally. “Now this might seem like a weird question. Do you think you can handle it?”Mr. Hamilton asked. “I’m pretty sure I can handle a simple question.” You answered simply. “Alright,” He kicked started. “(Y/N) are you seeing anyone at the moment?” Alexander inquired. Air was stuck in your throats for a second. Your heart quickened, which caused your ears were entrapped with heat. You downed the saliva clinging on to your throat. “Um, E-Excuse me?” You questioned with a stutter. “Alexander!” Eliza scored her husband. She flicked the back of her hand against his chest. “Why in the hell would you ask that? You’re making her uncomfortable.” She whispered loudly. Phillip sniggered with mouth clasped over his mouth from bursting. Alexander rolled his wood brown eyes and shrugged his shoulders. “Phillip need to get out there with a more girls like (Y/N). She seems to have everything together! The other girls we have met barely make it one month with our boy.” Alexander said truthfully without a stutter of hesitation. “And they don’t seem to care about anything academic and respect wise.” He added. “Pa!” The Hamilton boy groaned, averting his eyes away from you and into his father’s eyes. His cheeks flushed. “Honey, stop embarrassing your son.” Mrs. Hamilton scolded again, she sighed. “I’m so sorry, honey.” Elizabeth apologized with a shy smile. Her smiling only enhancing as she spots something over your shoulder,“Alexander, I see Angelica with her husband! We have to go greet them.”Eliza said as she tried to tug her husband away from the two of you. “I’ll see you kids later.” Alexander Hamilton said as he follows his endearing wife. The heat on your face still sat on your face. “Sweet Jesus.” Philip muttered with a sigh and a shake of his head. You snickered,“Your parents are adorable, too bad it’s not generic.” You fired first as you stared at the two couple scamper away with their arms linked together. Their linked arms seems to stand out symbolically in their relation. They never seem to let go each other- like the links of the chain hitting at each other while they were being tugged on, but never shattering. A soft smile tugged at your lips. I kind want that, you thought to yourself. “Stop it, I’m not in the mood to play along for your entertainment.” The boy murmured, “Entertainment” seemed to stick out. He turned and left with heavy footsteps. You arched your eyebrows. You scuttled after the teenage boy. “Woah, what got your panties up in a twist?” You fired again with a smirk. “Stop it, (Y/N).” He warned as Phillip twisted body towards you. You took a step back, wobbling slightly, and raising up your hand defensively. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you alone, princess.” The hell is wrong with this boy? You questioned inside your head. Philip Hamilton seemed pretty pissy for what his dad gawked about. The younger Hamilton shook his head lightly, and glared at something above your head. He mouthed out words that weren’t readable. Phillip’s eyes were squinting and glaring at the corner of the crowd room. The only thing you could calculate was his irritable silent argument with the other person across the room. You glared at him with a bewildered shine, “The hell are you doing?” You interrogated as you were about twist around. “Dance with me.” He punctured you with shock with his order, which you assumed was originally a question. Your eyes widened and your heart tried to claw out of your chest. “Woah, what? Don’t we have to wait until marriage to do that?” You joked nervously. The orchestra began to fall softer as you were going to cursor yourself around to leave him and his grip. “Just dance with me.” He growled while his hands clipped onto your forearm. Warmth flooded into your core. That turned you on, didn’t it? Blushing at your own reaction, you shifted in your heels. You are so fucking messed up. “Why the fuck do I have to dance with you?” You glared with irritation. Wiggling off Philip’s strong hands from your forearm, you rolled your eyes. Philip scoffed, he entrapped his temples with the edge of your thumb, index, and middle. “My dad is making me dance with you as stupid as it sounds.” “Okay so? I could and careless about your situation with your pops. Not my problem, it’s yours.” “How about..how about I break the deal if you don’t.” He proposed. Deal? What deal- Right, the deal where he will keep off of your personal bubble. “You still are gonna break that deal despite it, Phil.” You said simply. “Just please dance with me, okay?” Philip Hamilton begged. His sap brown orbs shined underneath the rays of the chandelier. The glimmer in his eyes were absolutely stunning. You cringe inwardly; you are already stepping in his damn trap. “Can you stop looking at me like that?” You hissed. Confusion twisted his face,” Excuse me, what? I’m not looking at you in anyway.” The Hamilton boy defended himself. “Never mind.” You huffed. “Honey!” You shoulders scrunched together,“Jesus Christ, mom!” You squeaked. Spinning around to meet your mom with a plate of appetizers in one hand. You glared after her,“I’m not sorry,” Your mom laughed. “Ah, Phillip it’s good to see you! You look great in your suit. Charming!” She complimented and greeted. “Thank you, Mrs. Manning.” Phillip shyly thanked. “Now, what are you guys talking about? Is my daughter treating you decently?” ‘Mrs. Manning’ questioned with a teasing nip at the last question. “She’s treating me like she treats everyone else!” Phillip Hamilton with a subtle harsh town at the edge of it, you only hearing it. “I was just asking to come dance with.” He added. “Sly mother fucker.” You muttered underneath your breath. “(Y/N)! That sounds like fun!” Your mom cooed. “Why don’t you dance with this young man?” She questioned. “I don’t-” “Come on, (Y/N). Just once, okay?” You mom pleaded. “What about never?” You retorted. “(Y/N), I will drag you to these events every time they are hosting one and you have to dance with Phillip everytime.” She threatened. “Mom, no-” “(Y/N), do it or else.” Your mother fought back with imitating cold glare. “Fine.” You huffed in defeat. The orchestra seem to burst with elegant music. “Thank you.” He sighed out as he smiled towards your mother. “No problem, Phillip. Take care of my daughter!” She chirped as she wander off with a pallet of food in her hand. You moaned,” God dammit.”

You were in the center of the room. You glared at polished floor with shy glint. Phillip hesitantly glided his hand on the indent of your waist. His palms stopped over lower back. You ingested some saliva nervously; his musk becoming your air. Petals of heat scattered all over face while he pulled you closer. Your shoulders were tensed while his hand grasped on for your right hand. Your free hand was placed onto his forearm as you lifted your intertwined hand. The violin and piano stood out while the music softly spun around the room. The other instruments tailed behind with a soft step. Everyone danced with their partner. You hesitantly took a step. Click. Click. Your heels tapped against the wooden floor. The two you both swayed uncomfortably. Your face was flushed as you felt the breath of Phillip feather against your face. You watched as both of your feet hesitantly move back and forth. “Yo, (Y/N),” Phillip broke the ice. Your eyes still pinned on to the floor. “Are my parents watching?” Philip asked. You looked over to the side, glaring at the crowd. You spotted the Hamiltons watching the two of you, Eliza waved with a grin. You waved back at her with a smile tugging at your mouth, “Yeah, there watching us.” You whispered as you stepped back while he stepped foreword. It was silent for a moment, an awkward feeling entrapped in your movements. “Thank you.” Phillip breathed out. “For what?” You asked as you dragged your head up to look him in his soft sap eyes. “Dancing with me.” He stated. “I would say no problem, but I’m not sure why you’re thanking me.” You said. “I am going to kick your ass for convincing my mom, so think again.” “Well, you got me out of my mother’s ranting and I think I’m a little scared.” Philip stepped back a little. “Yeah, you should.” You chuckled, it was silent for a moment. ”You and your dad seem close.” You randomly spilled out. The boy laughed lightly and shook his head,“How could you tell?” Hamilton’s brow arch at your statement with a small smirk. “You talk about him a lot. You basically worship the ground he walks on.” You answered. “You are his number one fan.” Chuckling as you both awkwardly danced to the rhythm. “Ironically,” The young Hamilton boy began. “My dad works a lot and barely spends time with mom, my sister, and I. He’s always typing away on his damn computer, and his four course meal is coffee. It sucks to be the son of a politician.” He murmurs the last sentence. “It’s always work, work, work, work, and no time for family.” You could feel the dread drop like lead. You licked your lips nervously, unaware of Phillip’s eyes trained on them. “That does suck.” You commented. “My dad is not even here.” “What?” “He passed when I was a tot.” You muttered. Your eyes dropped to the floor. “I’ve never actually learned a lot about him. All my mama said was he was courageous and energetic man. He loved my mother and me, and kept us close.” You shared. “I guess both of fathers aren’t exactly here in our lives, huh?” You looked up at him,”In a way, yeah.” You shrugged with a grin tugged on your lips. “Cheers to us being children without fathers!” He exclaims louder than usual with a sarcastic edge. The guest around glared at him; the sharp, irritated looks poked out a sheepish grin from Philip. “Cheers.” You say with your inside voice. A smirk was etched on your face. “Hey, next time use you three inch voice, kid.” You tease. He gave you a sarcastic chuckle,”Very funny.” “I know I am.” You sass back. “I could write a whole sit com.” “Better than the 90s series, “Friends”?” Phillip smiled with laughter held behind it. “Hell no, never, but I can write better than you, Phil.” “Hah! I wrote a poem!” “Oh, wow.” You gasped, “A poem. I’m shivering.” “I wrote one for my dad. It was stupid.” “Aw, that’s adowable.” You taunted. Purposely replacing the ‘r’ with a ‘w’- like a toddler learning how to red or restroom. “Come on show me your poetry, Shakespeare!” You begged while you chortled. “I’m not going to say that stupid shit that I made when I was nine.” He argues. “Jesus, you were nine? Now, that’s gold.” You cooed. Pinching his cheek (like how your grandmother did it, you wrinkled your nose mockingly. Phillip flicked your hand away from your cheek,“Ah, shut up.” A grin tugs on his lips. “You like my teasing.”

By the time the song ends, you and Phillip seem to get along quite well. You both were scampering outside on the patio. The fall air scraping your legs, you giggled as Philip had told his childhood story. The city seemed so far away, and the air was clean and refreshing. The music transformed into a wave of jazz music. The crowd began to shrink by a small amount as they head inside. “Philip you aren’t as bad as I thought you were.” You confess. “Really?” “Don’t make me say it again, Hamilton.” You warned jokingly. “I’m not relating my damn words.” Philip stepped back with his hand in front of him, “I won’t push it, Manning.” “Last name isn’t Manning.” You corrected. “Whatever, Manning.” “Still isn’t Manning.” Philip Hamilton snickered. The freckles on his face seem to emphasize at you, and you thought they symbolize as constellations. You absolutely adore them. Your heart stopped, Did I think that? God, no.. You angrily thought to yourself. You still didn’t trust the Hamilton boy. You nervously licked your lips. “Yo, Manning, you doing okay? You look kind of pale.” “I’m alright, just kind of cold.” You lied. “My last name isn’t Manning.” You added at the end. Philip ignored you,“You sure, Manning? You seem more pale than normal.” “ ‘m alright, Hamilton.” You protested with him as he wrapped his arm around you. He squished his body against yours. Flushing, you wiggled out of his grip. You were so uncomfortable, so confused with yourself. Your feeling towards this boy felt like a cinder block was crushing you. “Philip, I’m fine!” You exasperated as you piston away from the boy. “Jeez, calm down.” He murmured. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.” You fibbed at the boy as you shifted on the balls of your seat. It was silent for minutes. The night sky reflected the sap brown eyes. His cheeks were chalked with red from the cold. “It’s alright.” It was quiet. The crickets sang with the orchestra. You could imagine the people dancing while people ate and gawk. You wished that you were there. “Seriously, I’m worried about you. “Why are you worried about me?” You hissed. “You look sick! I don’t want you to be ill!” Philip exasperated. “Sorry, I was just concern for you as a friend!” He added. “I’m sorry when have we been friends?” You snapped. “I d-don’t know!” He sputtered. “I’m not your friend! We had conversation and got along, but that didn’t make you my fucking friend.” You growled. “Hey, I’m just worried!” “And hey! I’m just pale and there is no need to worry about me!” “Why are you over-reacting?” You ignored his question. Stress, puzzled thoughts, and irritation had twisted in your gut aggressively. “Philip, why are you concerned for me? Why? I’ve been an asshole to you from the start. You’ve been a fucking annoying man-whore! Just leave me be-” “Shut up! Shut your damn mouth!” He exasperated. Philip kissed you.

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