#judge why are you pointing the mic to your EYE

[mofffun]

Kitten Kaniska ฅ^∫ﻌ•^ฅ

[mightaswelljxmp]

hm ok so interestingly, bdubs’s courthouse is built on an odd number of blocks. note the roof of the facade coming to a point, but more importantly, the nine pillars….

you don’t use an odd number of pillars. like ever.

let me get this out of the way first: i get why you’d build with odd numbers in minecraft. i usually do it myself, to not run into problems like double doors or two-wide pointed roofs or frustrating spacing/symmetry between decorative elements. however. to not even out the design of something so unequivocally done in every other example of columns and pillars…. fascinating implications…

every other example guys. every other building with columns like this has an even number of them.

doing so sets the line of symmetry at an invisible point between two pillars, an even number on each side. but an odd total number of pillars makes the central pillar itself the line of symmetry. this does a couple things.

one, it upends the sense of community and equality. which i know sounds crazy, but really, a group of columns are all put there to hold up a structure. there’s no focus on one because they are all are working as supports.

symbolically, at least when first used in ancient greece, pillars represented people. and it makes sense for courthouses, especially, to want to show an even, fair, equal number of people on each side. no focus on any one, no inherent bias right off the bat just looking at it.

with an odd number of pillars, though, one will always be placed front and center.

and THEN. and then you walk in the courtroom itself (also odd-numbered blocks) and you are immediately opposite the judge, bdubs, located exactly centrally. and true, courtrooms are often set up like this anyway. but bdubs ups the ante and reaffirms that no, focus is on him by staging it all as a daytime court show, boom mic just over his head, cameras pointed in, spotlights on him.

literally by design, it was not built for justice. it’s built for show, for entertainment. and just look at the credits to know exactly what sort of message you’re supposed to be getting from this show.

the biblical story he used, with king solomon. it’s about king solomon. isn’t really about the trial itself, or the babies, or the women. it’s about showing (off) how wise and just he is. that’s the point. hm. interesting.

now, getting to the second point that etho also picked up on: it feels like a prison.

it’s not just the color palette. when your eyes naturally draw to the center point, you aren’t seeing an open space. instead of feeling like an arch or gateway or otherwise some kind of opening, the pillar there makes it feel closed off. the overall effect is that of prison bars. not pillars lining the entrance to a place of order or a temple. bars of a cage, a cell.

imagine the lincoln memorial were set up with 11 or 13 pillars. he’d look so much more trapped in there.

having a central pillar blocks the entrance. it’s not welcoming. you have to go around it; it’s immediately inconveniencing you. and when you go to leave, it’s there blocking you again.

this courthouse was not designed and built to be fair, nor accomodating, nor equitable, on any terms. even if unintentional, i wouldn’t call it so much coincidental as i would… subconscious.

after all, y’know. form follows function.

[gezelligs-world]

I Won't Stop Until That Girl Is Mine

(Bada Lee x Jam Republic!Reader)

"She is just so- argh!" I said while pacing back and forth frustratedly. Ling and Audrey just watched me with amused expressions.

"Why not just give her a chance? She's already showing a consistent effort towards you." Ling said, and Audrey agreed with Kirsten's statement.

"The word 'no' is not in her vocabulary!" I exclaimed. Just then a knock is heard, Audrey opens the door revealing Tatter.

"Hi Y/n unnie! Bada unnie said to give you this." She handed me a jacket with a number '22' in it.

"What is she planning now?" I asked Tatter but she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Just tell her I said thank you." Tatter nodded and left the room.

"See? Consistent." Ling said after Audrey closed the door.

"I call it obsession. She copied some of my poses on my Instagram posts, when I post a story she will post the same thing, she will even copy my captions?!" I said angrily.

"Shouldn't you be feeling lucky? Everybody has their eyes on her but her eyes are set on you." Audrey said making me sigh. Kirsten comes in, looks like their done.

"How was it?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're doing Bada's." Kirsten said and looked at me with a teasing face.

"Stop that."

"You lose your bet." Kirsten said while chuckling.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

"Come on! Just one date?" Bada said while watching me practice with arms crossed.

"I told you, I'm busy throughout the week." I said and stopped dancing. I grabbed my water which is beside Bada and drank it.

"Aren't you mean enough towards me? Just one date and done." Bada said while staring at me.

"Alright then..." I said making Bada surprised that she straightened her back.

"On one condition..." I turned towards Bada and smirked.

"I will agree to be on a date with you if your choreography gets picked and you got selected as the main dancer." Bada smirked while shaking her head. She cupped my chin and her other hand on my waist. This woman knows my weaknesses.

"You underestimated me, babe." Bada said.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

"Is it already starting?" I said indicating the main dancer competition for the leaders.

"I think, yeah." Ling said.

"I'll follow you there." Ling nodded and went ahead. I was about to close the door when my eyes landed on the jacket that was given by Bada. I sighed, grabbed the jacket and put it on. The jacket even has a 'Lee' on it at the back above the '22'.

I went to the set and saw the leaders warming up. I saw Tatter pointing towards me with her eyes at Bada, Bada turned her head and smiled at me as I went down the stairs.

I sat beside Latrice and she smirked while analyzing the jacket.

"Nice jacket." I rolled my eyes and slapped her shoulders.

"It's a gift." I said.

"I know, I can tell from the surname at the back." Latrice chuckled at my flustered state. I covered my face and leaned down.

"Who's choreography has been chosen?" Shownu asked through the mic.

"It's mine, Bada." Bada's students cheered making me smile in admiration.

"As the leader, I wanted to show our physical strength and aura. The powerful side of us. I considered what I think is the most important, which is the dance you want to try. There's a move of lightning a lighter. I tried to put those kinds of things in the choreography." Bada said with a lot of confidence.

"And Kirsten, was there anything hard during the practice?" I looked at my leader in curiosity.

"Dance, again, is the universal language. There weren't any difficulties, I think." I clapped lightly, satisfied with her answer.

The showdown begins and as expected from the leaders, all of them are good. My eyes somehow always come back at Bada's figure, her body control screams ownership of her choreography. Part of me wants Kirsten to steal it but at the same time, it sucks when someone stole the choreo you worked hard for, right?

The time came where Kirsten and Bada. The judges chose Bada and she immediately turned towards me and smirked. Kirsten and Bada hugged and even kissed Kirsten's cheeks which surprised me. Some of the dancers glanced at me as they know that Bada is pursuing me.

"Alexa, play 'jealous' by Nick Jonas." I nudge Latrice's shoulders. Bada's members went to hug her to congratulate her. Me and the rest also went Kirsten and hugged her tightly.

"It's alright Leader, you still slayed." I winked at her and Kirsten chuckled.

"Yah! Y/n L/n!" I turned towards where the voice came from and saw that it's Bada.

"You still owe me a date!" All of the people in the room began to scream, including the judges. Bada's members and mine make us go forward to be close at each other. Bada opened her arms for me but I got a little hesitant. Emma pushes me instead, making me crash at Bada. Bada gives Emma a thumbs up while laughing.

"Why bother announcing it when you know I have no choice?" I looked up and our eyes met.

"Just in case you forgot about it." She said and pecked my cheeks. The crowd went wild again, some even jumped. I cover my face with my hands and bury my face on Bada's chest. Bada just lets me, enjoying the situation I'm in.

[crackrodent]

Check out the rest of my Flufftober library!

Poor Baxter

“Niff how fucking many bags of candy corn do you need? Poor Baxter can barely push the cart!” Husk huffed while absentmindedly rubbing the spot on his arm where Alastor’s mic had struck him for attempting to get out of driving Niffty on her seasonal sugar shopping spree.

Charlie should have picked anyone else to pick up the snacks and decorations for the holiday party. Niffty was going to really remind everyone that they are in hell at this rate.

“All of them!” Niffty said pulling another bag of the multicolored junk out of an unsuspecting hellhound’s basket and tossing it into her cart.

Baxter’s sinister little laugh forced its way into Husk’s ears leading to the former overlord wishing he could punt the tiny man. Husk was way too sober to be in Hellmart at six in the morning.

Baxter’s voice almost made Husk’s brain implode as he encouraged this bullshit, “Niffty, I think I saw some imps back in the freezer aisle, they must have had at least a dozen bags of candied corn, perhaps we could claim their share as well?”

Niffty looked like she had skipped Halloween and Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas as she bolted out of Husk’s view dragging the cart behind her.

“Baxter! You fucking lost her now!” Husk hissed as he attempted to follow her.

“Nonsense Husk. She is in aisle 2 looking for imps that don’t exist.” Baxter said calmly, looking at his phone while walking opposite of Niffty.

Husk switched directions and followed the other short monster, “What? Why would you lie about that?”

“I needed to ask your advice on something,” Baxter said stopping in front of some big box of overpriced seasonal kid’s toy animals, “Do you think Niffty would prefer the stuffed spider or the stuffed scorpion?”

“Excuse me?” Husk asked, suddenly wishing he was more sober because he had to have caught a secondhand high when he hugged Angel goodbye as they left.

“The woman displays the most familial behavior to you and that radio demon. Since I do not plan to have my voice added to his broadcast, I require your assistance.” Baxter explained.

“Why the hell do you need my opinion? You just sent Niffty off to aisle 2 tracking down imaginary imps! You could’ve asked her yourself!”

Baxter rolled his eyes, “That would ruin the point of the surprise you dunce.”

“And you are trying to surprise her with children’s toys?” Husk asked, the annoyance flowing from his voice in contrast to its usual drip.

The fishy little man was definitely showing his form as he looked down checking the seams on the spider. "I wanted to ask her to accompany me during Charlie’s party. She doesn't seem like the kind to like flowers. I have observed her with bugs and other creepy crawlies however and she seems fixated on them."

Husk stopped and judged the pathetic scientist. Poor dude was going to get himself stabbed.

"The scorpion."

"You are sure Husk?” Baxter suddenly seemed hesitant to accept the help he was pleading for, “I wish they just had a roach. I know she likes those." Baxter said sorting through the bin.

"Women like her, like venom. And ya know scorpions got that stinger thing. Little shits like to stab people. Just like Niffty." Husk paused after his warning, "Trust me."

He was back to feeling too sober. Advising an adult about what teddy bug to buy for another adult added to the headache sobriety was bringing on.

Baxter quickly shoved the scorpion into his pocket as Niffty came back, the cart now full of candy corn décor as well as her 40 pounds of actual candy corn. Husk was going to have to take charge and grab the actual stuff from Charlie’s list.

Husk’s arms were on the verge of falling off by the time all the candy, drinks, food, and décor were inside the hotel. He grabbed a bottle of cheap booze that he was horrified to learn was pumpkin spice flavored after he already committed to a chair in the living room.

"Hey, Whiskers!" Angel Dusk said strolling in and perching himself on the arm of the chair Husk was already melting into. “How was your trip to the store?”

Husk chuckled a little. Sore and annoyed but still laughing at the fishy idiot. “Baxter has a crush on Niffty. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into.”

“I know that already,” Angel said, fidgeting with the bag Husk had failed to see in his hands before now. “He told me a couple of weeks ago.” He gave a nervous laugh.

“What is it Legs?”

“I’ve been trying to help out as his wingman and he keeps trying to ask her out and,” the sinner was shaking his head, “she just doesn’t hear him.”

“Yeah she tends to ignore people a lot-”

“No whiskers I mean, he keeps trying the dumbest things to get her attention, and she just doesn’t get it. He tried inviting her on a walk the other day and she responded that she was already walking and just went ‘see?’ and walked out of the room.”

“Today he bought her a stuffed animal to use as a bribe for her to be his date to the hotel’s Halloween party.” Husk took his turn to shake his head at Baxter. “Like I don’t even know how a normal person would react to that, let alone Niffty.”

“Yeah... that might not go well.” The bag Angel had been fidgeting with ripped and the contents fell on Husk’s lap. Angel attempted to recover the item but Husk was faster.

He looked at the stuffed orange cat wearing a little white ghost costume. Its little ears and nose poked out from underneath. And the belly of it had a little pun that read,

‘You look BOO-tiful today!’ in black factory print with ‘Husk’ written underneath in red marker.

“Hey Husk listen it was stupid, I just saw it when I was out with Cherri and thought ‘Hey! Husk is a cat, well kind-’” The rumble of purrs drowned out the end of his rambles.

Husk was certain of two things.

1. Baxter was going to get the Jack-o-lantern treatment from Niffty.

2. If Angel asked him to be his date to the Halloween party he would be the happiest sinner in hell.

[acesofspadess]

Let The Games Begin

Worth The Risk Masterlist

narry x oc

.��。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

You know the saying, easier said than done, well you never meant to take that so literal. Over the course of the next couple weeks, shit had hit the fan. You were good, that was never the question, but being so young and inexperienced compared to the rest of girls set you behind from the beginning.

“The final contestant who’s made it through… is…”

It wasn’t your name. And while 99% of you knew it wouldn’t be, the 1% in you was more hopeful than ever. You didn’t let the tears fall until you were backstage by yourself. You went to text the siblings before someone sat next to you. “I'm sorry you didn’t make it. You were really good.” The accent wasn’t like your own. “Did you not make it either?” you saw the redness in his eyes, and when he shook his head to confirm your guess you rested your head on his shoulder. “Autumn.” you recited, “Niall.” he gave back.

“Nice to meet you Niall, even under the unfortunate circumstances.” you both laughed softly at the attempted joke before silence fell over you both. The silence was comfortable, it was peaceful, home like almost.

“Can I have all the girls over here please?” one of the workers called in your area and you and Niall looked at each other, confusion over your faces. “Maybe they’re collecting the boys too? Go and check.” you urged as he helped you up. “I’ll see you later Autumn.” he waved goodbye as you went in the opposite direction.

Meanwhile….

Nicole, Louis, and Simon, were looking at the photo cards of the boys. “I like these 5 together.” Nicole happily cheered but Simon seemed off-put. “It's missing something.” he pointed out, and while Louis and Nicole thought to adjust the boys Simon went over to the girls group. He looked for a specific photo and once he found it he put the card in line with the boys.

“No Simon, you can’t do that.” The first disagreement was made by Nicole. “But her voice would go perfectly with the rest of the boys.” he stood his ground and looked to Louis who was studying the faces intensely. “I have to agree with Simon, Nicole. They look good together, I'm sure they would sound even better. I don’t know why you have something against her.” He defended and stood with Simon. 

“I don’t have anything against her,” she quickly told off. “I just don’t think that she belongs in a boy band.” Louis looked at the photos one last time. “Then let her choose.” he offered, looking down at Simon who spoke, “Have her come in with the girls, then we’ll decide from there. But I think even she would prefer the boys.”

Present…

As you walked on stage with a group of girls from the left wing, a group of boys, some of which you recognised, Harry, Zayn, and now Niall. You couldn't stop looking over at them, wishing you were with familiar people, some who actually cared to learn your name. 

“Hello.” Nicole spoke softly into the mic making you snap your head away from the boys as everyone repeated the greeting. “Thank you so much for coming back. I know judging from some of your faces that this is really hard. We’ve thought long and hard about you individually, and you are all too talented to let go of. So we’ve put together two separate groups.” Nicole handed the mic to Simon who was looking right at you. “Autumn, do you mind joining the boys?”  The faintest smile made its way to your face as you walked across the stage standing in between Harry and Niall as they had created a space for you. 

“See she looks happier there.” Simon whispered to Nicole as you walked across the stage. She nodded in understanding, having to admit that you did indeed belong with them. “We’ve decided to put you both through to the judges rounds.” Time seemed to freeze as you repeated what he said over through your head till you were being wrapped in a massive hug. You immediately wrapped your arms around the figure you now knew was Niall before you both separated and shook Harry who was crouched into himself. He popped up wrapping you and Niall into a hug full of laughs and cries. 

As you walked off the stage together you all huddled up again. “I know this might be weird with me, but I have an older brother-.” 

“You're one of us now, it doesn't matter.” One the boys who you hadn’t met yet cut you off and you smiled. “Louis.” he held his hand out. “Autumn.” the tallest boy came over to you too. “Liam.” you knew he had heard you so you didn’t repeat it again. When you all walked outside you saw Bentley, Nan and Pap, and Anne chatting together. You assume it was over what just happened. When they saw you, you and Harry ran towards them. You hugged Bentley who held you tightly. “Where’s Bev?” he pointed towards the car to see Beverly asleep. “She has the ability to fall asleep anywhere.” you both laughed before you dragged him over to meet the rest of the boys. “Bentley, Niall, Louis, and Liam. You’ve already met Harry, and Zayn.” he greeted them as Anne pulled you into a hug. “I’m glad you're with them. They need some girl power in their lives.” you laughed with her as it came naturally. 

Anne decided she needed a picture of all you, and as you sat on the stairs next to Harry in front of Liam you were truly in for a ride.

———————-

Worth The Risk Masterlist

tags:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653  @purple9950 @forkmeniall @nathalielovesonedirection @hopsydaisy @shortie-niya

[kiiyunz]

kyuniiz⠀is⠀live!⠀⠀⸻⠀⠀00:21 AM

“Czennies!” Kihyun greeted the number of viewers steadily growing, his grin wide and taking up most of the screen with how close his phone was to his face. He moved the device back a little to wave overenthusiastically, and then further still to prop it up against something and reveal two things: the living-room looking setting he was in, light of a large television screen illuminating him a bright white in contrast to how dark the rest of the room was, and the sight of Niko sat on the sofa behind him, eyes on his own phone rather than the audience watching on. Two microphones sat idle on the cushion next to him.

“I’m with NCT’s one and only Juno tonight, Czennies. It’s such an honour!” He gestured at Niko with a shocked look on his face, as if he himself was surprised the elder had agreed to being there, but then gave up the act and collapsed onto him; eliciting a groan from the older dancer when he did so, and then a muffled swear when the sudden attack made him drop his phone onto the floor. 

“Yah! If my screen’s cracked, you’re paying for it,” the 127 member admonished, shoving Kihyun off of him and onto the floor before waving a hand aimlessly around on the floor in an attempt to retrieve the device. Kihyun only snickered, handing the (unharmed) phone back to its owner before turning back to where his was propped up before them.

“Suni-hyung and I, if you couldn’t tell, are gonna be doing—” he paused to flail around behind him before finally gripping onto the pair of mics, waving them around in grand & wide arcs for everyone to see. “—karaoke! For all our favourite songs. And maybe some of your suggestions too, if they don’t suck.”

“Which I’ll be the judge of,” was Niko’s first contribution to those watching, eyes narrowing for a quick second before returning to normal as he shoved his phone in his pocket and pushed his hair out of his eyes, reaching for one of the microphones in Kihyun’s hands before pointing it towards the screen. “So don’t give us really shit requests.”

“Hyung!” It was the younger’s turn to scold the older, although from the way he was biting his lips it was clear he was holding back a grin. “It’s barely been five minutes, hold off on the swearing.”

Niko rolled his eyes, a smile on his own face, and then gestured at the still-white screen in front of the both of them. “Hurry up and set it up, then. I still don’t know why we couldn’t have just gone to an actual noraebang for this.”

Kihyun paused from where he was reaching over for the TV remote, and began to list off the reasons on his fingers: “Couldn’t be bothered, I wanted to order food in, Lele said he might be coming over to see Jisung so I wanted to catch him when he came in, and I like our sofa better than those gross cracked-and-probably-sweaty leather ones in all the noraebangs closest to us.”

The dancer made to protest before stopping in his tracks, nodding at the younger member’s reasoning.

“Ordering in sounds good. What were you thinking?”

Kihyun’s nose scrunched up in thought as he fiddled with the remote until he’d found what he wanted and set it down again, before his answer seemed to come to him all of a sudden and he snapped his fingers with a yell of: “Italian! I want Italian! That place down the street does really good.. How do you say it in English? Mozzarella sticks!” He then turned to look at Niko a little hesitantly, as if to check his pronunciation was correct.

When he received an encouraging nod in return he let out a cheer and shot a grin back to the camera, before making another grab for his microphone and carrying on with what he was saying. “But they’re open all night, and I’m not really hungry right now, so I’ll just do it later. Singing always makes me work up an appetite!”

Niko huffed a laugh, flicking the switch of his mic on and off and on again idly as he sat up in his seat. “I’ll let you pick the first couple songs, then.” 

Kihyun did a small fist-pump and grabbed the remote again, the previously white screen of the television turning black and plunging the already-dark living room into even further darkness, the pair’s faces only just visible. The 127 member scoffed and turned to their audience, pointing at the younger dancer and rolling his eyes. “Our Kyunnie’s so cheap. Using YouTube instead of all the actual karaoke games he has on his console. Maybe he’s scared of losing.”

“That’s not it!” Kihyun also turned to those watching to try and defend himself, pout pulling at his lips. “Jisungie unplugged it to use the socket for the new lamp, and I just.. Haven’t gotten around to setting it up again.”

“Ah,” Niko nodded sagely, smirk already on his face. “So the real issue is your laziness.”

“Hyung!” The Dream member’s whine was loud, but all Niko did was burst into laughter, shoving at Kihyun’s shoulder to get him to stop pouting.

“Yah, alright, I’m sorry. Just hurry up and put your song on, or I’ll really leave.”

Despite the put-out expression still being present, Kihyun complied and pressed a final button before abandoning the remote on the sofa again and rising to his feet as the familiar drumsticks that counted in Locked out of Heaven began to play. Niko shook his head, but there was a smile on his face as he stood up to join the younger singer.

“I could’ve bet money on you putting this on, I swear.”

His words went half unheard, Kihyun already having started, and the 127 member didn’t miss a beat when he jumped in to provide the appropriate backing vocals. They took turns with the lines showing on the large television screen, harmonised when the choruses came around, Niko even indulging Kihyun in a small routine that mostly consisted of bounces and side-steps, and on Kihyun’s phone screen the comments were flooding in far faster than they had been previously—joined by a person that only made them multiply in number

haechanahceah  나 없는 Bruno Mars? 기현아, 가고 싶어..

The younger member let Niko take the second verse in full to lean over his phone and focus on Donghyuck’s comment, eyebrows scrunching as he read it but then relaxing when he let out a laugh soon after.

“You can come over if you want, Haechanie-hyung, I’m definitely not stopping you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

He didn’t get long to stand and chat, as Niko was soon pulling him back by his hoodie so he could join in with the chorus again, and then they were back to their singing and dancing; their volume gradually growing louder and louder until it reached a crescendo at the bridge and then slowly came back down until it had faded out completely. Kihyun didn’t give his older companion a look in before he was making a grab for the remote again and mashing at buttons, pulling up the second song he wanted while Niko watched on, a smile gradually growing on his face when he saw the next number on the roster.

The electronic intro of Glitch Mode was next to play, quickly interrupted by Kihyun’s stubborn “I want all of Mark-hyungie’s lines!” and Niko’s short laugh before they were launching straight into it. The former was also insistent on performing the choreo that he knew off by heart by that point, nearly sending his flailing elbows and legs right into where Niko was simply standing. His enthusiasm, although somewhat infectious, was enough to deter the 127 member into swapping spaces with him so he could stand back and let the younger take the reins for a while, sticking to reading the comments that were again flooding in—and, again, joined by a familiar username.

onyourm__ark  juni-hyung!!! 그리고 나의 KD!!!! onyourm__ark  wow.. 키코 듀오는 정말 미쳤습니다 ㅋㅋ

“Hey, Markles,” Niko smiled, waving his mic in form of a greeting. His face then turned into something vaguely wary, eyebrows drawing together. “You’re not gonna ask if you can come over too, are you? Chenle’s apparently coming later, and Hyuck’s just been saying he wants in on it too.”

onyourm__ark  i wish onyourm__ark  maybe next time ㅠㅠ onyourm__ark  tell KD 사랑해요 애기~~

Niko granted the younger member a nod and mock-salute before bidding him goodbye, just as Kihyun collapsed backwards onto the sofa while the final notes of Glitch Mode petered out, microphone almost slipping out of his loosened grip if it wasn’t for him grabbing back onto it at the last second.

“Your turn to choose, Hyung. This one and the next one too.” he heaved from his nearly-starfished position, one hand coming to brush his bangs out of his eyes before he heaved himself into a sitting position again.

“I know, silly. What do you think I’m doing?” Was the older man’s retort from his place standing before the television with the retrieved remote in his hand, mic shoved into the front pocket of his hoodie for the time being. “Something a little more chill, maybe? Seeing as it looks like you’ve tired yourself out.”

He sniggered to himself a little at his own comment, expertly dodging the half-hearted kick Kihyun aimed at the back of his knee for it. The piano intro of Everything is Everything that filled the room had Niko tapping along to the beat with his foot and slumping down on the sofa next to the Dream member, nudging him in the side to jolt him into action; Kihyun complying and singing the opening lyrics not a moment later.

They swayed as they sang, swapping lines and riffing off of one another with an almost practised ease. Kihyun let Niko take the lead for the most part, making all sorts of excited gestures and faces of surprise towards where his phone was propped up as if prompting those watching to react the same way (which, of course most were more than happy to do, and would’ve done so even without encouragement).

Niko received a standing ovation once he’d sung the final notes, Kihyun even going as far as to bounce up and down a little, microphone forgotten in place of clapping so hard it looked as if it hurt a little.

“Hyung! You’re so cool!”

The 127 member tried and failed to bite back a smile, waving the younger man off and reaching for the TV remote to choose his next song. “You flatter me. Go talk to your viewers while I find the next one, leave me alone.”

He’d only gotten a moment into his aforementioned song-finding before he was snapping his fingers and speaking again, his free hand reaching up to move his hair out of his eyes once more. “Oh! Mark was here for a second. Told me to say he loves you.”

Kihyun was back to pouring over the comments rolling in on his screen almost immediately, eyes narrowed as if he was trying to mentally scroll back up to where Mark had come and gone.

“So you mean I missed him?! You couldn’t have told me earlier?!”

His complaint was paired with yet another pout, but Niko just rolled his eyes again.

“You were a little caught up, in case you can’t remember, like, ten minutes ago. You wouldn’t have stopped singing ‘Trouble trouble like a miscode’ even if I’d thrown a rock at your head.”

Kihyun’s would’ve-been-indignant response of ‘it’s a good song!’ was drowned out by the familiar opening notes of 2PM’s Again & Again, and as soon as he’d heard it he was jumping right back up again to join the older member. They dropped the banter to harmonise instead, Niko even again indulging the younger man and dancing a little as they did.

Their already-minimal dance routine slowed down even further as they eventually came to the end, Kihyun leaning into the older dancer’s side and intentionally knocking their hips together until Niko relented and slung his free arm around his shoulder; although he did pointedly ignore the soulful eyes his dongsaeng was aiming at him as he sang, dramatically acting out every word, the older ending up forgetting the closing adlibs in place of pushing Kihyun away again. The younger singer overplayed his fall back onto the sofa for the second time that night, groaning even if he landed perfectly onto the soft cushions below, and curled onto his side to watch as the 127 member set his mic down in front of the television still displaying the finished video and made to sit down in front of Kihyun’s phone instead, granting the viewers with a small wave before turning to face the younger singer.

“Should we take those suggestions now?” A smirk slowly grew on his face as he took in the position Kihyun was lying in. “Or have you finally worked up that appetite?”

Shrugging proved to be a little more of a difficult feat than usual while lying sideways, but Kihyun managed it well enough. “Depends on what you pick, Nini-hyung. Maybe just one more song. Lele’s gonna be here soon, I think.”

Niko nodded in understanding and turned back to the phone, moving his hands in a sort of get on with it gesture and watching the requests flood in not long afterwards, in twos and threes and tens at a time, all from different artists and of varying genres. He pulled faces at some and simply levelled judging looks at others, letting his eyes do all the talking for him. It wasn’t until he saw one song in particular that caught his eye that he nodded somewhat approvingly, a small smile on his lips.

“I think you’ll like this one, Kyunnie. Smooth Operator, GSoul?”

Kihyun was up like a shot, eyes wide and excited as he made a frantic grab for the remote, all of his energy seemingly restored by the three words. “I love that one! It’s been on my repeat playlist lately, actually.. How do they know me so well?”

He continued to wonder while scouring for his desired song, while Niko watched on quietly, his gaze flicking from the younger dancer to the screen and then back again until he’d set everything up and the music began to play. The duo managed to channel some of Kihyun’s vigour from his earlier performance of Glitch Mode, and were getting into it fully, those watching enjoying it just as much. They seemed to be treating it as something of a grand finale, adding far more riffs and adlibs than the original ever contained, the matching grins on their faces so wide it looked like they hurt a little. Their perfectly matched energies served as a reminder of the reason most loved the pair of them together in the first place.

The joint show continued until, near the end of the bridge, the faint sound of the door opening could be heard, and from there it only took a few moments for Kihyun to look over to see who had entered, yell out a vaguely happy sound, drop his microphone to the ground, and rush off out of frame, leaving Niko to only shake his head and finish the song on his own despite it being the former that was initially most excited for it.

After it had ended, the 127 member set about collecting the pair of microphones and returning them to wherever Kihyun had found them, and turning the TV off, once again plunging the room into mostly darkness. The Dream member was still nowhere to be seen—that was, until Chenle came stumbling into frame with the singer hanging off of his back. He attempted to shrug the slightly-older 01 liner off of him, but to no avail, Kihyun staying right where he was and waving at all of the viewers instead.

“Chenle-yah’s here! And he said Haechanie-hyung’s on the way! And I actually do feel pretty hungry now..”

All three burst into laughter at the sheepish admittance, before Kihyun finally relented and released Chenle from his hold to bound over to his phone and fill the frame with his face; reminiscent of how he’d started the live. 

“Czennies, I’ll come on Bubble later and tell you what I got from the Italian place! Promise!”

He then brought it back and handed the device to Niko, who just waved in lieu of goodbye.

“It was a little bit fun, I guess. Don’t expect me to be doing that again for a while, though, I feel like my lungs have gone hoarse.”

There was a snicker offscreen, a barely-hidden whisper of ‘maybe it’s because you’re old’ that clearly came from Kihyun, and Niko’s face morphed into something a mix of shocked and annoyed, passing the phone once again to a very confused Chenle so he could chase the younger dancer around the apartment, yelling curse words and insults as he went.

The Chinese vocalist stared at the scene unfolding before him for a few moments, grin tugging at his lips, before remembering there was an audience also listening in, and turned his attention back to the viewers.

“I think this is goodbye, Czennies, I wouldn’t want you to hear Niko-hyung beating KD black and blue. I hope you had fun! Love you! Bye!”

And just like that, the screen went dark, and the live—or maybe fever dream was something of a more accurate description—was over.

나 없는 Bruno Mars? 기현아, 가고 싶어.. ➔ bruno mars without me? kihyun-ah, i want to come over.. 그리고 나의 KD!!!! ➔ and my KD!!!! 키코 듀오는 정말 미쳤습니다 ㅋㅋ ➔ the kiko duo is really crazy lol 사랑해요 애기~~ ➔ i love you baby~~

includes⠀@northstarco

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 9

"Last time on Total Takes Island: the campers played a friendly game of hunter and hunted, complete with costumes and projectile weapons. Max gave Michael the cold shoulder, for some reason, and Austin showed off his not-so-groovy side when he used his teammate as a human shield. Sha-Mod got rivals Ass and Courtney in a tangle, and for that he was sent packing. Will the Fujoshis ever win another round? Will Scruffy ever find some solid evidence of what’s happening on their team? Find out now- on Total! Takes! Island!”

Caesar sits up, looking at the analogue clock on the wall- 6 AM- and then sighs as he covers his ears to drown out McLovin’s sobs. 

---

CAESAR: “All. Week. All week! That homo-wannabe has been crying over his boytoy leaving the island. If I had known it’d affect his fragile little heart so much as to disturb me from my beauty sleep, I would’ve voted for Ass!”

---

McLovin shakily holds a simple crayon drawing he made of him and Sha-Mod surrounded by a large red heart as he sits on the cabin floor. Caesar gets out of bed, eyes tired, and stares blankly into the camera. 

A knock on the cabin door forces him to shuffle over and open it, only to see Bonnie holding a pillow and looking equally as tired. 

“Ass and Courtney have been fighting. All. Night,” they mutter, eye bags heavy. “I don’t care about the gender-adjacent rules anymore, I just want to sleep.”

Caesar sighs and points into the cabin where McLovin is crying. “No sleep around here,”

“Oh, brother,”

---

Julia sits on the porch outside the cabin door, legs crossed and eyes closed as she pretends to meditate to listen in on Austin and Kelly’s conversation. 

“And then I said, why have one bird when you can have all of them?” 

Kelly laughs. “You have such a way with words,”

“Smashing, baby,”

Julia sighs in defeat, clearly not learning anything of value, and stands, walking over to where Max is leaning against the cabin exterior wall. She hovers in front of him until he finally acknowledges her. “What do you want?”

“I was thinking we could discuss strategy,”

He scoffs. “Yeah, right, as if I’d take pointers from you,”

Julia rolls her eyes. “I just think we should go over what we’re doing about the Scary problem?”

“No one’s gonna vote her out,” Max says, beginning to walk away. “You’re playing the wrong game here.”

“Attention, campers! Meet me on the beach in five for your next challenge!” Chris’ voice blares over the intercoms. Everyone winces at the mic feedback and then slowly begins moving, quietly grouping off. 

“Today’s challenge will not only test your strength, your endurance, your intelligence, your patience, your-���

“Oh, just get on with it,” Julia rolls her eyes. 

Chris glares. “You’ll be cooking a three-course meal. Each team will appoint a head chef to create a theme for the meal, and oversee the cooking. If you’ll all look off to your rights- no, your other rights- you’ll see our food delivery truck, stocked full of ingredients, which is what you’ll be using for your meals,” he continues, pointing to a small truck down the shoreline. “Chef and I will be judging, so make it edible, please.”

Courtney turns to the rest of the team, now a five-player ensemble. They cross their arms with a smile. “So… who wants to lead this thing?”

“Why not you, your holiness?” Ass says, rolling their eyes. Courtney glares, but doesn’t object, turning to the rest of the team. 

Caesar shrugs. “I don’t have any problems with that. Bonbon?”

Bonnie yawns. 

“McLovin?” Caesar turns, and then looks around the beach. “Um… has anyone seen McLovin?”

---

A spiritual, wistful tune plays as McLovin sits at the big cliff’s edge, cradling his knees to his chest and crying. 

---

“Oh. Joy,” Courtney sighs. “Normally, I’d look for him myself, but I need to oversee the cooking. Bonnie?”

“Bonbon and I are kind of a package deal,” Caesar says, holding their shoulders to prevent them from collapsing. “Where they go, I go.”

“Fine! As much as I hate to say it-”

Ass smiles a little and stands. “I’ll find him. Just worry about not losing this time, m'kay?”

Courtney rolls their eyes and turns to their two-person team. “We can work with this. Caesar, make sure Bonnie doesn’t hurt themselves. I’m going to go check out the kitchen and then make a list of what we need. Is that okay?”

Caesar shrugs. 

---

“Now, clearly, I should be the head chef-”

Julia elbows Max in the ribs, causing him to cough and sputter. “Fine! Whatever. Scary, you’re in charge,”

Scary beams, giggling and cartwheeling towards the ingredients truck. 

Michael raises an eyebrow. “Have you lost your mind?”

“We took a vote, Mikey,” Julia grins, wrapping her arm around Michael’s shoulders. 

“Don’t call me that,"

Scruffy blinks. "Who voted for Scary?”

“Let’s see… Frollo, Staci, Scary itself, and me and Max,”

“You and Max are in agreement on this?” Michael scoffs.

Max storms through, shoving Michael out of the way while Julia snickers to herself. 

---

JULIA: “This is too easy,”

---

“Is this everything?” Courtney asks as Caesar and Bonnie dump a few armfuls of food packaging onto the table in their designated kitchen. 

Caesar pants, gasping for air as if he’d just run a marathon. “No, we still have a few trips to make,”

“Okay, okay, we’re all good. I’m gonna get started on the appetizers, since that’s what’s getting served first. I think I have an idea of how we could pull this off,”

---

Somewhere deep within the woods and very far from camp, McLovin and Ass walk together, shoulder-to-shoulder. 

“Well, why do you think it was so distressing? Were you really that good of friends?” They ask, kicking a pinecone along the path. 

“We weren’t just friends, we were bromates. That’s like soulmates but for men… Joner came up with it,” McLovin sighs. 

“And this Joner guy wasn’t your… ugh, your bromate?” 

McLovin shakes his head. “Michael was around way before I was. I only came in around the ninth grade, so he was already spoken for,”

"Isn't Michael a girl?"

"is she?"

Ass raises an eyebrow, then gives him a sympathetic look. “Third-wheeling, huh? I know how that feels,”

“It was more than third-wheeling. But I don’t wanna talk about it, it gets… complicated. Things with Michael aren’t so good anymore. But Sha-Mod was like my oasis in the desert, man! He saved me from all the girl drama and the cooties!”

Ass rolls their eyes, but an endearing smile sneaks through anyway. “You’re funny, you know that?”

“I know,” he sighs. “Sha-Mod used to tell me how funny I am…”

---

Scary scampers around the kitchen, laughing maniacally while writing down their own recipes on the back of napkins from the mess hall and passing them out like party favors. 

The other Anons raise eyebrows at the messy handwriting, and then turn to Max, who shrugs. 

---

JULIA: “My plan is simple. Get Max to put Scary in charge, convincing him that her failure will get her eliminated, and then when we inevitably fail, I’ll pin it on him and he’ll be toast!"

---

“Okayyy, let’s see- I want this to all go perfectly, so no lollygagging, tomfooling, dilly-dallying, or horseplay, pretty please!” Scary says. “Austin, Kelly Staci- course number three. Julia, Scruffy- course number two! The rest of you-” Scary narrows her eyes at Michael and Max, then at Frollo across the room. “Course number one and STAY OUT OF MY WAY!”

Michael takes a step away. Max rolls his eyes. 

Austin reads the recipe card Scary had handed him, and then beams. “Black forest cake- right on, baby!”

“Pasta,” Julia squints at her group's napkin. “Um, wait- where are we supposed to get the-”

“Figure it out!” Scary grins wickedly. 

Max finally looks at the remaining recipe. “Um. This isn’t real,” he ignores Michael, turning to Frollo behind them. “She’s messing with us. She has to be.”

Frollo closes his Bible with a loud snap and walks over, taking the napkin. He squints at it, and then his face goes pale. “Witchcraft!” he shouts, dropping the napkin on the floor, kneeling down beside it and repeatedly smashing it with his Bible. 

“You know it’s already flat, right?” Max asks as he and Michael watch the ordeal from above. 

---

“Caesar! I need you and Bonnie on the main course. I can handle everything else until- if- those two ever get back,” Courtney shouts, tying an apron around their waist as the two remaining players come back from their final round of carrying ingredients. 

Caesar half-heartedly salutes them and picks up the cookbook Courtney found, flipping to a tabbed page. He grins. “Courtney, you genius,”

“Yeah, I know, but we still gotta make it!” they say, grabbing an oven tray and spreading a thin layer of tortilla chips over it. 

---

COURTNEY: “My parents aren’t really at home a lot, so I’ve been feeding myself for most of my teen years. Whenever I don’t feel like cooking something big, I go to my defaulto easy and quick meal- Americanized-Mexican food.”

---

Julia and Scruffy stare at the last ingredient they need on the list, and then look to each other. “So… you don’t suppose they have that on the truck, right?” she chuckles. 

“Not that I would think, but… someone’s gonna have to get it,” 

Julia’s nervous smile drops as she realizes they mean her. “Fine. If I die, kill Max for me,”

“Um… sure,”

Julia takes off her apron and walks out of the kitchen just as Kelly and Austin come back in holding a new carton of eggs. 

“You know, my great-great-great-great grandma Eliza actually published the first ever recipe for chocolate cake. It’s an old family secret, but we use chopped chocolate instead of melted,” Staci smiles, pulling a huge butcher’s knife out of a drawer and smiling as they begin dicing a few chocolate bars. 

Kelly smiles. “Your family sounds really nice, I wish mine was so talented,”

“You’re always welcome to join! As my great-uncle Bertram said, family is determined by bonds, not by blood,” 

“You mean it?!” Kelly’s eyes widen. “I get to have a big sister??”

Staci beams. “Ohmigosh, totally! I’ve always wanted a younger sib!”

Austin pops out of nowhere, holding an armful of eggs. “I want in on this found family dig too, baby! I’d make a smashing sister!”

“Yay! Sisters!” Staci smiles. “OW!”

All three look down to their finger, where the knife had slipped and produced a thin cut. Staci turns white and then immediately passes out. 

“I don’t get it,” Max says, pacing around Michael and reading the napkin again as soon as he got Frollo out of the kitchen. “She’s actually trying to lose.”

“Will you-”

“This is all because she has this tall-person superiority complex, she thinks I’m stupid!”

“Can I-”

“That’s why she puts everyone she hates on appetizers! She wants us booted! Shit- this must’ve been Julia!”

Michael grabs his shoulders, shaking him. “Let me read it!”

Max’s face turns red and he crosses his arms after handing her the napkin, ignoring her again. She rolls her eyes and stares at the list. 

“Tongue of lamb… hair of toad… guts of eagle… hm, okay. She wants us to make a salad,”

Max’s jaw drops. 

---

MICHAEL: “Joner went through a witch phase in the 7th grade. All of the “eye of newt” stuff is just fancy herbalist language for different plants,”

---

“So, what’s your deal?” McLovin asks, no longer crying. His hands are in his pockets and his face is dry. 

“My deal?”

“You know, you’re all dry and sarcastic and stuff. Why?”

Ass shrugs. “When you deal with enough drama, it gets to you,”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” McLovin says, holding up his finger as a butterfly lands on it. He turns and smiles at Ass. “It’d be awesome to see you smiling more, you know?”

They smile a bit. 

---

ASS: “It’s kind of ridiculous how Courtney thinks they can just claim a person… however, when that person is McLovin, I guess I can kind of get it.”

---

Courtney slices a jalapeno, watching Bonnie carefully as they attempt to dice up a few tomatoes, but lose their grip on the knife every few seconds. 

“Here, let me,” Courtney says with an apologetic smile, taking over for Bonnie as they finish up the jalapeno. “Sorry about last night. I’m sure that wasn’t easy to sleep through.”

“What… sleep?” Bonnie yawns. 

“I guess I just keep letting my emotions get the best of me. I don’t mean to step on anyone’s toes, you know?” Courtney picks up the cutting board and scrapes off the diced tomatoes into a nearby bowl. “Can you grab the cilantro?”

Bonnie nods and drifts across the kitchen before returning. “It’s okay, I get it. And, for the record,” Bonnie smiles, picking apart the cilantro. “I’m on your side.”

Courtney smiles. 

---

COURTNEY: “Bonnie is kind of sweet, actually. Now I get why Caesar won’t listen to anyone else,”

---

Frollo paces back and forth outside the kitchen, looking at the ground with a contemplative stare. He hears some motion in the distance and looks up- seeing a pitch black figure approaching. 

“DEMON!” he yells before running off into the woods. 

Julia rolls her eyes as she walks by, doused in black squid ink. Scruffy blinks at her when she enters the kitchen. “Did you get anything?”

She glares, pulls out a bowl, and then wrings her hair into it, a metric ton of squid ink filling it to the brim. Scruffy blinks, and then shrugs. “Let’s cook,”

Across the kitchen, Max finishes tossing the salad before turning around and seeing Kelly and Austin alone, frosting an amazing looking cake. “Where’s Staci?” he asks. 

The two look at each other and then step apart, revealing a still-unconscious Staci on the floor. Max sighs, walks over, and shakes them awake. 

“Whu- huh? What happened?” Staci looks around, then winces. They look at their finger, still bleeding slightly, and immediately pass out again. 

Max slaps her awake this time, holding her hand away from her face. “You up? Good. Hope you had a good nap, sleeping beauty. Get some rubbing alcohol and band-aids from the medical tent and get back here before I lose my mind. Okay?”

Staci nods and shakily stands, slowly walking out the door. 

Max stands, smacking his palm to his forehead and gritting his teeth. Austin and Kelly make fleeting eye contact. 

“Hey, baby, are you doing alright? You’re not looking so groovy,”

“I’m fine!” he snaps. “I’m doing so awesome, thanks for asking!”

---

MAX: “I hope they all know how close I am to snapping,” he pauses to laugh insanely, holding his head in his hands. “Cause I’m really getting there!”

---

“Woah, dude, calm down,” Michael steps in from behind, putting a hand on his shoulder. Max’s face goes blank and he relaxes a little, losing tension. “You’re gonna give yourself a headache.”

He sighs, exhaling deeply. “I’m… okay. Let’s get this over with,”

---

“Campers, you have twenty more minutes to finish preparing your dishes!”

Courtney glances around the kitchen nervously, surveying the nachos and tacos prepared for the meal. “I feel like we’re missing something…”

Their face goes blank. “Oh my God- the dessert!”

Bonnie and Caesar's tired eyes widen and they look at each other nervously, neither one wanting to step in and volunteer to save the day.

Luckily, McLovin and Ass walk in just before the two have to, laughing to themselves. Courtney’s head whips around to them. “Where have you two been!?”

“Walking, talking, vibing,” McLovin shrugs. “Ass said you had it under control.”

Ass shrugs. “With all your amazing skills, I figured you wouldn’t miss us,”

Courtney glares, holding their arms out for emphasis as they get in Ass’ face. “Thanks for the input, but we’re about to lose! You are so going home!”

“Woah, let’s all take a chill pill,” McLovin steps between the two, holding out his arms. “Court, what’s going on?”

“Bonnie and Caesar are exhausted, you two have been missing for hours, and I didn’t have enough time to finish the dessert!”

McLovin raises an eyebrow. “Is that all?”

“What do you mean is that all?! We’re gonna lose!”

“I can make churros in like, fifteen minutes,” McLovin shrugs. “My abuela taught me this super quick recipe back in grade school.”

Everyone stares. Courtney’s jaw drops. 

---

Staci walks back into the kitchen, dazed and confused, holding a large bottle of rubbing alcohol with their entire hand bandaged. Max narrows his eyes. “What is that?”

“What?” they ask, holding up the gallon container. “Rubbing alcohol?”

“I didn’t want you to bring it back here! And look, you’re getting it all over!”

Staci looks at the ground, where a tiny hole at the bottom of the bottle is leaking a trail of fluid all over. They glare back. “You have no right to criticize me. You’re not in charge today,”

“Scary!” Max yells, before looking around the room. “Where is Scary?”

The other Anons look at each other, and then hear a faint giggling outside. The entire team walks out, Staci leaving the bottle on the counter adjacent to the one with the delicious-looking salad, squid ink pasta, and black forest cake. 

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” Max exclaims. 

 A large wooden stake has been set up just outside the kitchen, a massive pile of sticks under it. Frollo walks around one side, spinning the stake around to reveal Scary tied to it. She giggles again. 

“Jesus Christ is correct, my brother,” Frollo says. “I’m going to burn this witch and free this island of sin.”

Julia turns to Max. “When I said I wanted her gone, this isn’t what I meant!”

“Let her go, now!” Max shouts, though no one dares get any closer. 

Frollo shakes his head and lights a match just as Scary easily slips out of the ropes and somersaults into the woods. He doesn’t notice, though, and drops the match anyway. 

Max’s eyes drift down as the flames consume the wooden pyre, then flit down to the trail of rubbing alcohol leading to the mobile kitchen. 

He sighs. “Oh, sh-”

The steam of liquid immediately catches fire and the mobile kitchen explodes, blasting everyone backwards onto the beach. The Anons stare in shock as a massive bonfire envelops the charred remains of the shiny trailer, and their challenge along with it. 

---

“Mm, amazing! And these churros, man, I’m impressed!” Chris chuckles, dabbing his chin with a cloth napkin. “Fujoshis, despite everything, you’ve really outdone yourselves this time.”

“De-licious!” Chef nods, looking at Courtney. “Have you considered a summer internship in the kitchen? I could save you from this competition.”

Courtney smiles proudly. “I think I’ll stay on the show, but I appreciate that, Sergeant Chef,”

Chef salutes and Chris chuckles again. “Now, time for the-”

The sound of the trailer exploding outside makes everyone jump and run outside. The Anons are lying across the beach, groaning. Chris blinks. 

“Um… oookay... I guess we have a winner, then!” he shouts. The Fujoshis cheer, McLovin hugging Ass and Courtney while Bonnie and Caesar high-five and then both pass out. 

“Anons, I’ll see you- or what’s left of you, anyway- at the campfire tonight!”

---

“Anons… wowwwww. Wow. Just wow!” Chris shakes his head. “And the sad thing is, from what I saw, that weird goth meal looked delicious!” 

Max sighs, massaging his temples. Julia rolls her eyes. 

“You had a lot of mishaps today, some worse than others. But only one of you will be walking the dock of shame, boarding the boat of losers, and never returning. Ever,” 

“Scruffy- you’re safe. 

Max,

Scary- good work today, champ.

Michael, Kelly, Austin- safe!”

Chris looks between the final three marshmallow-less players. “Julia- you’re safe.”

Julia smiles and catches her marshmallow before flicking it at Max’s head. 

“Frollo- your weird 17th century point of view blew up a very expensive trailer, and your team's hard work inside. And Staci- you supplied the ammo. But only one of you is going home tonight. And that person… is…

Frollo,” Chris tosses Staci a marshmallow. “Staci, you’re somehow still in the game.”

Frollo stands, looking unbothered, and begins walking. He stops to whack Max upside the head with his Bible one last time, and then disappears down the dock. 

---

FROLLO: “I set out on a mission. However it turned out, I’ll know that I did well. We’re all in God’s plan. I can only hope the brothers at my church will forgive me for fraternizing outside of the membership…”

---

Max’s eyes open slowly and he sits up, rubbing his head. The campfire area is now abandoned and it’s clearly late at night. 

He looks up as someone walks into the area and offers a hand. He hesitates for a moment, and then takes it, allowing Michael to pull him to his feet. 

“I was just coming to check on you. Julia finally fell asleep,” Michael says. “Sorry you got knocked out.”

Max rubs the back of his head. “I’m just glad that nut is gone,”

Michael nods, looks around for a moment as the silence looms over them, and then begins walking away. Max watches for a few seconds before clearing his throat. “You did well today!”

She turns for a second, smiling. “I’d hope so,” and then walks back to camp. 

Max also smiles- just a tiny bit- and follows a few minutes after, just as Julia peeks around the corner with a frown.

[pacifymebby]

Does anybody have any tips when you feeling anxious?? ❤️

Sorry to hear that you are feeling anxious my lovely, sending you a big hug.

I am a girlie who gets anxious all the time about different things in different ways so I'll try to give you different coping strategies!!

If you feel anxiety really physically some quick tips are

🐇 breathing exercises, take yourself somewhere quiet, get as close to the floor as you can (I lie on my back if I can) and close your eyes, breath in to the count of four, hold for seven and then out for eight. I count on my fingers for an extra level of grounding and do this until my bones/chest ache less or feel less tight. Usually the first couple of breaths give you this sinking into the ground feeling which can be quite nice.

🌸 go somewhere with some space and literally shake or jump it out, sometimes anxiety manifests itself as a deep physical tension in your muscles and an extreme restlessness at the same time. Having a big old shake/wiggle/jump can really really help. They say exercise can help to regulate anxiety but honestly you don't have to go to the gym or a big long run, 30 seconds of wiggling and loosening up will do it for you.

🐇 in the same vibes my boyfriend really likes to go and scream somewhere, I cannot do this I hate loud noise and I hate making loud noises lol but it works for him he likes to do a big John Lennon esque scream from time to time.

🌸 if you can find someone who will give you a big tight hug let them squeeze the anxiety out of you, if you can't weighted blankets and that sort of thing do the trick too.

🐇 change something to do with one of your senses, you could listen to music, use aromatherapy (or go and sniff one of the spices in your cupboard for s bit whatever) chew gum or peppercorns (they give this as advice for if you're too stoned but the principle is the same!) Anything that has a strong sensory experience attached to it will work to ground you in the moment and settle your body. This is why ice baths and also saunas can help with anxiety, or why taking yourself from a dark room into a light one or the opposite way around can really bring you out of a negative mindset.

🌸 None of the above are going to cure anxiety but they help to ground you and soothe the physical anxiety sensations.

Now

🪽 you can either do these by writing in a journal or talking to a friend but,

🌸 how do you feel? Is it physical (sick/shakey/exhausted/overstimulated/numb) is it more in your head (racing thoughts? Circling/spiraling/repeated thoughts?) Can you pin point things you're anxious about or that are making you feel insecure in some way?

🪽 so you write all of that down, you write down the reasons you feel that way or you just scribble whatever and write random words that come to mind or pictures if you can't pinpoint or put it into words.

🌸 If there's specific things overwhelming you or that you're anxious about ask yourself what about those things is making you anxious? (Do you think you're going to embarrass yourself, do you think people won't like you etc..)

🪽 now this bit sounds silly and ill try to give you an example to make it make some sense but you have to then write the "realistic" outcome, not necessarily an overwhelmingly positive one, just mundane, what do you know logically is more likely to happen

🌸 for example I did this with a friend last week, I was anxious about going to an open mic on my own and was going to stay home instead because

- I was worried no one would talk to me, that the people who know me would ignore me in favour of their better friends, that people would judge me for being there on my own

- realistically however and drawing from past experiences I could reason with myself that a) other people go on their own all the time and no one judges them, I don't judge them etc, b) people always say hello to me when I'm on my own, I know people I can say hi to and talk to etc c) those people aren't going to suddenly ignore me when they never have before.

- then I went and everything was fine people invited me to sit with them I even made new friends. So when I got home I completed stage three of this by reflecting on my anxieties and comparing them to what actually happened.

🪽 its a very long term strategy but I find that it really helps me in certain situations that feel big and scary.

🌸 if I'm overwhelmed in life and that's giving me a more vague anxiety, impending but vague doom anxiety as I like to call it, I try and write a list of all the things I've been ignoring, bills to pay, chores, the ailments that need seeing to, people o need to text back, dishes to be done, books I wanted to read etc... I make a big long list and then I make a plan for the ones that are multi step and I just try and cross each thing off one by one starting with the smallest or the most important tasks first, if a bill needs paying in the next few days for example then that gets done straight away. With each thing you get done you feel better and more capable of doing the rest.

🪽 connect with nature somehow, literally touch grass, press your hand to a tree trunk, stare up into tree branches, breathe in outside air, pet a dog or cat or horse whatever. Go stand in the sea/ a river if you're near one...

🌸 a warm drink and breath the steam in?

🪽 a big big thing I think is talking to people, open up to someone you trust even if all they can do is offer distraction or a hug or a smile.

🌸 really though I find that whereas depression and heartbreak and panic attacks and things like that require a lot of distraction techniques the best way to deal with anxiety is to face it head on, address the things making you feel that way and take action, even the smallest step towards fixing a problem can help.

🪽 if it's something like hangover anxiety or anxiety from having socialised too much or something this is a bit different and then I'd say you should try the physical approaches or distraction techniques like reading a book or listening to music or video gaming or something better.

🌸 something I would say about that though is like, don't just read, read AND listen to music, video game with the sound up, watch a movie and crochet or do something with your hands that requires concentration... Engage more than one of the senses to keep your brain from circling. In this instance games like Tetris and snake or guitar hero/Arcaea are all very effective.

If anyone sees this and wants to offer their own thoughts reblog with them and I'll reblog them back into my tl for anon xxx

[bitacrytic]

Overheat [31]

Read Previous Chapter Here

-

“Do you think that’s what this is about?” Porsche asked. “I don’t give a fuck who you marry.”

-

-

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

-

There was always the possibility that Kinn may have judged Awut a bit too harshly. Kinn had never gone through a rut without an omega. If he was between relationships, there were services available for alphas in need of omega partners. It was never negotiable to spend the rut without mouth guards. He didn’t want any omega biting him, same as he wasn’t planning to bite any omega. So he got sated and did only things that would never have permanent, lasting effects on himself or his partners.

Which meant that, in his entire life, Kinn had never bitten anyone before.

But now, with the memory of Porsche's delicate flesh giving way to Kinn’s penetrating mating teeth, the feeling of euphoria that rushed to his brain as Porsche’s blood seeped into Kinn’s body, an almost endless exchange of possibilities… Kinn could understand why Awut hadn’t been able to help himself.

Touching his lips as he lay in bed, in the seclusion unit that the hospital had put him in, Kinn kept playing the hazy memory over and over in his head, trying to hang on to the feeling of the bite, trying to hang on to Porsche. He’d already masturbated thinking about it, about five times that day alone. His knot was popping smaller and smaller, each time. His rut was finally coming to an end.

But the memory lingered.

He’d just come out of yet another shower when there was a knock at his room door. Hoping that it would be Porsche, Kinn was immensely disappointed when his father walked in.

The glass screens the hospital set up cordoned off the sofa and the door, giving him room for visitors. He could see them and they could see him. But their scent was cut off, as well as their voices. With a fitted speaker and mic on either side of the glass screen, they could, at least, talk.

Not that Kinn wanted to speak to, or see his father, at the moment.

“I see you’re doing fine,” Papa said.

“Why did you do it?” Kinn asked, getting straight to the point.

Papa’s face remained the same, a slight tilt and a small frown that he’d worn since he entered the room.

“It was for your own good.” He didn’t bother to deny it.

“You let Apinya lock me up for my own good?” Kinn didn’t want to raise his voice at Papa. “Please explain yourself.”

“I shouldn’t have to.”

“Papa,” Kinn said sternly.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Papa asked.

Usually, this was the point in the conversation where Kinn would have backed down. But he needed to know. He needed to understand why his father would sell him out to someone else. This was the type of shit even Uncle Kun had never done. All the things he’d made Vegas do, none of it had ever been so permanent that it would affect Vegas’ life the way Kinn’s would have been affected if one wrong move had led to Tawan biting Kinn.

“I am talking to my father.”

“As your father-”

“How can you trust me to lead this family if you pull stunts like this?” Kinn asked. “Why did you do it?”

Papa sat, his eyes filled with contemplation. Kinn had seen that look for years. He knew when his father was running the numbers, weighing the pros and cons. He wondered what would matter more to his father: Kinn’s understanding or Kinn’s obedience.

“I see where you’re headed and I’m worried about you.”

“What does that mean, Papa?”

“Porsche, Kinn,” Papa said. “I’m talking about that boy that has you wrapped around his finger. It will never end well with you.”

Confused, Kinn leaned on the wall, hoping it would take the weight off his mind.

“What does Porsche have to do with it? You asked me to marry Tawan and I-”

“You were never going to marry Tawan unless it was made permanent. Not as long as Porsche is in your life.”

“You don’t know that," Kinn said. "Is it because he's an alpha?"

“That's the least of my concerns."

"Then what is it?" Kinn asked, frustration coloring his words.

"Porsche is his mother’s son. At the end of the day, he will ultimately make the same decision she made and then what?”

What little confusion Kinn had before grew. What did Porsche have to do with Tawan? And what did Aunty Nam have to do with Porsche's relationship with Kinn?

“Nampheung and Kun were in love when we were in college. They were going to change the financial eco-system of Thailand when they graduated. He was reading business law, she was in accounting.” Papa let out a sad laugh as his eyes drifted to the ceiling. “We could never hang out without them breaking into some diatribe about the future.”

Kinn and the other kids often speculated on the level of intimacy Aunty Nam shared with their parents. She knew things about Kinn’s parents and his uncle. Things that mere acquaintances didn’t know. Things that anyone not on the Theerapanyakul payroll would be killed for knowing.

Not to mention the amount of shit Papa and Uncle Kun let Aunty Nam and her kids get away with.

“Kun didn’t want to be in the family business, but he was an obedient son. He never told her, but when he had a job from Papa, he took it. When she found out, she got so mad. She was meant to be in Japan for only one year of inter-min study. But the year turned into two, and two turned into four. Before we knew it, it was eleven years later and she was returning to Bangkok with a six year old son and a husband that none of us knew about.”

“What does this have to do with me?”

“Porsche will never accept this part of you,” Papa said. “You will get your hands dirty. You will do things he can’t stomach and he will leave.”

“No he won’t. I saw him shoot people.”

“To protect you. Do you know what Nam did when she found out some architecture boys had roughed up Kun?” Papa asked. “She trashed their common room and set fire to the auditorium. While there were people inside!”

Kinn hadn’t known that.

“She has a hotter temper than Lydia, but that temper only extends as far as protecting those she loves. Porsche isn’t different.”

“I don’t want him to be.”

“He’s a human rights activist and you're the alpha of a crime syndicate. That relationship was doused with gasoline from the start. One little match and disaster will strike,” Korn said, his voice shaking with emotion. “I have seen my brother change. I watched him become a shell of anger and remorseless rage, the longer Nam was gone from our lives. She may have known what he was, but she stopped being his the moment she saw him snap someone’s neck. Right now, Porsche is still viewing you with tainted goggles and I’m sure I’m the bad guy.”

“No-” Kinn tried to say but Papa got up.

“I’m the one making you do bad things,” he said, his voice brimming with aggressive fire. “I’m the evil father who is poisoning dear, innocent Kinn, but the day will come when Porsche will see. The day will come when he will leave you.” He stopped talking, his chest heaving rapidly. “But that won't happen if you’re mated to an omega, Kinn.”

“I don’t want that.”

“An omega mate will not leave you. An omega mate will not break your heart. An omega is what you always wanted.”

“I don’t want that anymore.”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying to protect you?”

Before Kinn could reply, there was a knock at the door. Both Kinn and Papa looked in the direction as it opened. Even though Kinn had spent hours wishing to see Porsche, he couldn’t help the uncertain dread that weighed down his belly the moment Porsche walked into the room and the two of them locked eyes.

“Ah, Porsche,” Papa said, his voice completely void of the heavy emotion it had carried just mere seconds prior. “You’re here.” Papa cleared his voice as Porsche walked in.

“Uncle Korn,” Porsche bowed slightly, his hands clasped in front of him as Papa patted him on the back.

“How’s your father?”

“He’s doing fine.”

“And my Nam?”

Porsche laughed. “She’s fine too.”

“Good, good,” he said, nodding. “Greet them for me when you see them. Eh?”

“I will.”

Sparing Kinn one last look of worry and mild anger, Papa walked out, closing the door gently behind him.

Kinn didn’t know what to say or where to look. Papa’s conversation kept replaying in his head, jumbling itself with the last conversation Kinn had had with Porsche. Before Papa’s visit, Kinn had his mind ready to face Porsche. To say what needed to be said between them. To have another mature conversation that, this time, might yield positive results.

But now, Papa had thrown all that into chaos.

This relationship was doused with gasoline from the start.

Papa wasn’t even wrong. Porsche had already walked away from Kinn before. But that was only because Kinn had been a fool. He knew better now. He knew what Porsche wanted. Kinn was willing. Kinn would do. Kinn would be. Just as long as Porsche stayed by his side. This was different. He wasn’t Uncle Kun and Porsche was not his mother.

Porsche dropped his keys and phone on the stand as he sat in the spot where Papa had just vacated, gingerly perched, with his knees apart as he rested his elbows on them.

“How’s rehearsal going?” Kinn asked, to break the ice.

“Is that what you want to talk about now?” Porsche asked instead of answering.

Kinn licked his lips as he shook his head. “Not really.”

“Do you know who took you?” Porsche sighed, rubbing his head in his hands. “I know I have no right to ask, considering the last conversation we had but-”

“We can pretend that conversation never happened,” Kinn said immediately as he sat up in his hospital bed. Because they were going somewhere. Porsche had come to save him. He didn't want Porsche to think he… he didn’t want Porsche to… if he could, Kinn would have gone back in time to wipe that entire conversation from existence. “If you want,” he said. “We can just forget it.”

Porsche looked at Kinn, sadness in his eyes. “That easy, huh?”

Kinn’s stomach growled in uncertainty. It wasn’t enough that Kinn had evidence that Porsche could and would leave him if he fucked up. But his father’s words just kept playing. Over. And over. And over.

“I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m just… I have other things to worry about now.”

“Do you know who did it?”

Porsche was like a dog with a bone, sometimes. They were going to keep going around and around in circles and honestly, Kinn would much rather talk about this than go back to that conversation.

“Tawan’s father.”

Porsche’s forehead creased in slight frown as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Tawan?” he asked. “Why is that name familiar?”

“The omega Papa wants me to marry.”

“His father-” Porsche cut himself off. “Fuck!” He got up, placing his hands on his hips as he paced the small space between the seclusion glass and the sofa. “You do know you’re not marrying him after this, right? Just wait till Phi-Tankhun-”

“Tawan didn’t do anything.”

“Please be serious.”

“His father was the one who kidnapped me. Look at me,” he said, as he crawled over the bed to get closer to Porsche. “Don’t tell Phi-Tankhun about this.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Porsche-”

“I know what he did to you, Kinn.”

“He didn’t even know what he was doing.”

Kinn held his breath, watching the ease in Porsche’s posture slowly drain away as his shoulders tensed and the worry on his face morphed into narrowed, draining anger.

“Let me get this straight. You were tied up and in a rut. His father brought in an omega in heat and left him there, knowing what would happen.”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“Oh really? Was he tied up too?” Porsche asked.

“No, But-”

“So you were the only one who was tied up and he got to do whatever the fuck he wanted to-”

“Stop,” Kinn said, feeling bile rise up in his throat. “Stop it now. I know what you’re trying to insinuate.”

“I am not insinuating. I am stating very clearly that you will not marry the man who raped you.”

Kinn’s bold chilled all over at those words as any reply he may have had died on his tongue. He’d been here before. They’d been here before and he was so fucking tired of it.

“I know you think you’re helping by trying to rid me of any responsibility, but I assure you, I am not a victim.”

“Bullshit!”

“You weren’t there. You don’t know what we went through.”

“You mean what you went through.”

“Sometimes, some things just… they just happen and we have no control.”

“I can’t listen to this,” Porsche said, picking up his phone and keys as he headed for the door.

The day will come when he will leave you.

Kinn’s entire being burned with fear he’d never known. Moving across the bed, Kinn crawled towards the door, saying, “What are you doing?”

By the time Porsche’s hand got to the door, Kinn’s heart was pounding in desperation.

“Okay, fine,” he said. “Fine. I won’t marry him. Please don’t go.”

Porsche slammed the door back as Kinn flinched.

“Do you think that’s what this is about, Kinn?” Porsche asked. “I don’t give a fuck who you marry?”

“Please, don’t say that,” he pleaded, getting off the bed and going to the glass screen.

“You did this with Awut, for years,” Porsche said, facing him. “Every time he had a rut, you’d spend the week in my house just so you wouldn’t have to go home and explain why there were fresh bite marks on your neck.”

“That was-”

“Exactly the same thing you’re doing now.”

“I’m not excusing him, Porsche. He was just as powerless as I was.”

“Then why didn’t he bite you?”

Kinn’s brain stuttered to a halt. “What?”

Porsche folded his arms across his chest. “You said he was out of his mind. He was in heat. You were rutting. Pheromones were all over the place so what the fuck stopped him from biting you? Because it sure as hell wasn’t you if you were cuffed and served up on a fucking platter?”

He hadn’t thought about that. Then again, there were a thousand other things he hadn’t thought about in the past 24 hours. He was recovering from the fever and the rut, but his mind was still a little foggy. He hadn’t exactly had enough time to think about it.

Yet, even as he thought about it, he couldn’t make sense of it. He could remember what Tawan had felt like, how he’d looked, his eyes lidded with desire and nothing else, unable to comprehend the precarious position he had put them both in when he climbed into Kinn’s lap. There’d been nothing there but an innate need to mate. He’d kissed Kinn, touched his dick, fucked him, taken his knot, done everything… except the actual mating.

Kinn had been right there for the taking. More instinctive, more primal than the need to fuck, was an omega or alpha’s need to bite.

But that hadn’t happened.

“Why?” Kinn asked himself out loud.

“What did he want from you?” Porsche asked, looking uncertain as the fire in his eyes dimmed just a little. “Tawan’s father.”

Kinn tried to remember his last conversation with the councilman.

“I’m not letting you out of my sight until you and Tawan have bitten each other,” Kinn said, word for word as the creepiness of that promise sent renewed chills down his back.

“Is that what he said?” Porsche asked.

“Right before he drugged me in his car.”

“That’s weird. If he wasn’t going to let you go until you got bitten, then why did he let you go if that didn’t happen?”

“He didn’t let me go. I escaped.”

Porsche shook his head, deep in thought. “He let you go. I heard the guards talking about it. They were supposed to stand aside and let you pass.”

“But they fired upon us.”

“They were firing on me, Kinn. Until I showed up, they were clearing the way for you, practically herding you towards the main road.”

Kinn sat back on his bed, realizing that Porsche was right. He’d thought he was being stealth enough, evading the guards, hiding in the nick of time, as he made his way out of the compound. He’d been weak in every inch of his body, but he’d prevailed. And he’d thought it was because he was doing good. But it made more sense that trained guards would have found him long before he got out of that forest. They should have found him much sooner.

Unless they’d let him go.

“Why?” he asked again, unable to comprehend it. “What did that accomplish?”

Try as he might, Kinn wracked his brain looking for an answer.

But still, nothing could come of his unpleasant stint in Tawan’s house. Or the nefarious intentions of ex-fiancé and his ex-future father-in-law.

[calypso-finale]

Eighty Nine.

I have actually been so busy with these damn kids, I am back and forth with the boys and then Imani, Imani at night in the studio and the boys afterschool shit, why do they have so much shit, but I am giving Amerie the reigns in that now because I can’t be doing it like they want. The boys love that I come but I can’t be dealing with it all, I am tired. And I realised this was Robyn’ idea, I think it was her idea to make me busy because what the fuck. Herbo is a demon, like this guy knows how to get his way “you ain’t stupid are you?” I pointed “what!?” he spat “this is my niece first album, I am supporting her” I laughed “nah, you know this is something big because of all the people we got on it, you seeing the numbers in your head. But it’s good, I am joking with you” I chuckled “you better be, I am supporting niece. That my niece bro” rolling my eyes “dad are you ever going to sing?” I frowned “what you mean by that?” that is random “you just not doing your part of the song!?” she spat “oh you right, but I have been here just delegating everything that is all, I am being good, and I got you all these artists and trust me. They don’t know what is coming, you my daughter. This is going to be the biggest album ever. Since when does Rihanna sing anymore? See baby, you got this. Don’t worry about, I will get on the mic” placing my arm around her “exactly, you got me. Big Herb, you know that shit about to do numbers” he is a clown “cut it off the album though, that needs to go. Who wants some nasty rapper big Herbert” he kissed his teeth “nigga I will cut you” I chuckled moving back “but you good, don’t worry about it. You working so damn hard that I am proud of you” pressing a kiss to the top of her head, she worries too much. I just find it amazing that she got her mom in the studio, Rihanna was actually here on the mic. She swore she wouldn’t make new music, but she did it for Imani, so will I but it’s just I have been busy but that will be on my to do list “people are just going to judge me as some rich girl getting her people, like the album isn’t mine” she has a point, make two. Do the original, like it’s you but then make a remix one, nobody can complain then, you are good enough to do well, so stop it” nobody going to judge her.

I be coming home when Robyn is waking up for the kids, I am going to not go tonight because I am actually very tired, this whole routine. I think I won’t do anything tomorrow “morning” Robyn said “mhmm, I am knackered” Robyn pulled a face “just whipping off your boxers like that” I chuckled “I just want to get into bed, I am tired. I am too old for this shit” jumping into bed “you haven’t had any days off Chris, that is what happens. I told you that you just need to relax, and you do more” she has a point, placing my phone on the side table “I know, well I am going to do nothing tomorrow” I am so glad to be in bed “good, your eldest daughter messaged me. She has just landed, she said she will be over” I groaned out loudly “not Rylee” Robyn chuckled “she is too bougie for us, like honestly. Why?” I don’t get why she is here, isn’t she in Bali living the Kardashian life, she is stupid “I don’t know, I just woke up now to get the kids ready for school, she text me like three hours ago. Clearly she was on the jet with Saint and came here, she put. Hi mom I will be over to the house today, I have just landed” she brings her own drama “ok, but you know what I am going to say. That is your daughter, we don’t want to know. She has told us that, her life, she rules it so go for it. She only runs here when she is in the wrong” turning onto my side “that is kids, they never stop” I can’t be dealing with her shit “you’re still sore with her because of the relationship with Oakley and you breaking down” I shrugged not saying anything, I just want to sleep.

I didn’t want to get out of bed really, knowing Rylee is downstairs too, I did not want to move but I am here, I am awake and going downstairs. Robyn text me hours ago that she was here but I have just seen it now. I wonder if she is here or gone now, maybe she has gone. I don’t hate Rylee, but she comes with drama that girl. Robyn and I stay away from it and she knows that, we have been quiet with her because generally we don’t agree with it all so we just stayed back but I ain’t spoken to Oakley since and it does make me sad because we were close but things like this happen so what can I say “morning” Rylee said “hey, you making my food please” I said to Robyn “you just come down” she said “yeah but I am hungry so yeah, what you doing here? This ain’t Rylee, you living it up in Bali, being Rylee Kardashian, mother in law Kim” sitting down “shut up dad ok” why is she mad “I am just saying, what’s up? Fast life living and now you remember mom and dad? Or is it because you have a problem, where is Saint? Because if he posts another picture of you half naked I am going to beat his motherfucking ass, and you have some damn class” Rylee gawked at me “mom has done it before? She did lingerie” she defended “least she is doing lingerie, you’re posing for a random nigga? So you tell me, I will bust his ass. Have some shame, Robyn please don’t look at me like that. He is disrespectful, eating ass? I will fuck him up” Robyn got up “ok, now stop” Rylee put her head down “yes I know you was too high to even notice, you my daughter. And I don’t like it, either they are using you or you’re using them for clout? And since when did you need fucking clout? You acting off heartbreak, one you haven’t been through before and I get it but you a motherfucking mother so act like one! Kim is a clown and whore at that so don’t ever fucking think she is classy” I spat; I have been after Rylee to say these very words to her.

I have ate, had a smoke, I am calm now “sorry if I upset you” I said, Robyn also text me saying I am being a dick so I should apologise “it’s ok” she mumbled “where Is Aziel? He is not here, it just hit me now” sitting down “he is at the house, well my house. He didn’t want to come, weird enough. Grace mentioned it to him, and he said no” letting out an oh “also I didn’t want him to come because yeah I have come here with a problem” I am not shocked “I am leaving Aziel with you both” squinting my eyes “why?” that is random “because I am mentally in no fit state to be his mother, he is suffering because I am suffering, and I am inflicting it on him, I can’t be his mother” her voice broke “you can, get rid of the shit you’re doing” is she crazy “when you gave birth you become a mother for the rest of your life! You cannot put him down because you are going through this bitterness, and you want to run around with North and Saint! No!” I spat “he is suffering with me, he is better without me” I frowned “then his father is in London” I spat “he has a new child, he ain’t having him” looking at Robyn “Rylee, why are you doing this?” she shrugged “if you don’t take him then he will have to just be there with me, I can’t love him” my mouth fell open, Robyn glared at me to shut up “why can’t you love him, stop it Rylee. You do love him” she shook her head “I feel empty, I just see him and it’s nothing there but I know I am ruining him, so I am asking for you both to take him” Robyn looked at with pleading eyes to not say anything “you do love him but right now you just feeling hurt and pain, you haven’t stopped once to just think” she shook her head “I can’t be a mom to him” she looked at Robyn, and Robyn of course moved over to her to hug her, this is crazy to hear from her but I do need to back off.

I am really angry at Rylee, but Robyn doesn’t want me to say anything “I’m not good for him” she said “his dad is in London, go and give him the chance. Let him be a dad just because you don’t want to be a parent” Rylee looked at me “no it’s still fuck him” she pointed “you love him that’s why you’re so hurt about it, you want him to chase you and want you but when you laid hands on him and told him he was shit, he wasn’t going to be all forgiving. Just like a woman can be scorned so can a man, I am staying out of your shit, but I don’t agree with it. Now you’re here telling us you can’t be another!? Aziel is four!” I shouted, “why should we have him?” She coming to us for what “Chris, just please stop it. Listen to me Rylee, you can’t just drop him because you don’t feel like you’re a good mother. Once you held your child you’re a mother forever, it doesn’t stop ever” she wiped her tears “but right now I’m not good for him, and all dad is doing is shouting! He won’t let me fucking talk, I just right now not good for him. I’ve been too stuck in my ways that Aziel has been suffering, I’ve been a shit mother” she sobbed out “Chris please don’t shout ok, she is still young. She needs us, she came to us so stop it” shaking my head “what bought it on baby, talk to me. You was so determined to be with Kim and them, why are you upset now” Robyn asked “you create this drama and now you’re hard done by” Robyn shushed me “you do not do that, stop it” I clenched my jaw “look, I’m sorry. I’m just upset with you Rylee. I think we need you to and seek some therapy” Rylee sobbed out “I don’t need it; I just want to be me ok. I am a shit mother and I’m asking you both to help me” when is she not asking us for help “my son hasn’t been eating, he’s changed, he’s angry, he’s upset. And with me! He doesn’t want me” crossing my arms across my chest “why doesn’t he want you? Because he’s seeing mom with another man, flaunting it in his face. I told this to Robyn when she left me, I said you bring another man into y’all faces, I would fucking light shit up. You are stupid and me! I’m going, I can’t be nice. I just can’t be nice because she is upset because she can’t have shit her way” I can’t stand there and be fake, she did that shit herself and now she is coming to us; I cannot and I will not sit there and hear it, she fucking up her own son life because she is heartbroken.

Locking my car door and making my way to the house, I thought I would come and see Aziel myself and let Robyn deal with Rylee, I am right not too angry to be even dealing with it. Pressing the buzzer and waiting, when I saw Aziel I knew something was off, he really wasn’t himself at all. The door opened “Hi Mr Brown” Grace said, “call me Chris but how are you?” entering the house “I am well thank you, is Rylee here?” She asked “no, just me. Is Aziel here?” She pointed to right in front of me “he was going to go for a nap, but this is how he does it” seeing Oakley on the screen “watching Oakley” looking at Aziel sucking his thumb “yeah we put an interview on this time” closing the door behind me “hi Aziel” I waved at him, he just stared at me “he’s missing his dad” she said, smiling at him lightly “I can see, how has he been?” I asked “sad, he’s just gradually becoming more and more sad, I think the more the days went by that his dad didn’t come he realised he wasn’t around. Rylee doesn’t speak to him about it and it’s been hard on him, but then watching this makes him happy” walking over to him “Aziel” I said to him, he looked at Grace “it’s papa” Grace said and pointed at me “I come to see you son, I missed you big A” sitting down next to him “is that dad? Come, I have videos of dad too” he isn’t saying no but he’s just looking, getting my phone out “I have videos too baby” scrolling through my phone videos “oh here, look this is dad” playing the video “daddy” he took his thumb out of his mouth “yeah your dad” Aziel smiling at my phone “nah I can’t dance like you so why? You recording me” Oakley was trying to dance like me that one time and I missed it “miss you” he’s getting my teary eyed “he misses you too” the videos stopped “I have it” he asked “sure” passing him my phone, that is so sad.

I bought Aziel and Grace to the house, I mean he is ok with me now, but he is still quiet and with me there he wasn’t going to have a nap “Aziel is here” Raihan said as he came down “yes, you want to play with uncle?” I said to him “go with uncle and play” I said placing him down, but he went to Grace, of course he did “make yourself at home, I will be with you. Robyn” she waved at Aziel “hey baby, we need to talk now” I groaned out “what is it now? Rylee still here” she nodded her head “but I need to speak to you” nodding my head walking behind her “oh this is dramatic, we going upstairs. I know the drama ridden things are upstairs, office is drama, but the hardcore drama is upstairs “just please be quiet for a moment” clearing my throat “well I hope you spoke some sense into her” walking behind her “well yes but I had to break her down, like really get down to the issue, pushing her to speak” walking into our bedroom “Jesus Chris, why are the kids so hard work. Rylee is going to therapy she has no choice, she isn’t thinking right and really she is dropping herself in shit, so she revealed something to me that she told me to not tell but she knows I will tell you, but you cannot fucking say a thing. She is suffering in her own way too; she is dumb I get it but stop. I am serious. She told me that she fell pregnant again with Saint, nobody knows this because she got rid of it as soon as she found out. She said she didn’t think and did it because it’s not what she wanted and she doesn’t want to be in that family, so I said but you pushed yourself into there, now you got our grandchild in there lost. I am so mad with her, I think I can get Aziel out of the season, but she is stuck on there, she signed some shit. Well anyways, that happened” rubbing my head “it hurts my head to know she is that dumb” I mumbled “she is hurting everyone else while trying to hurt him, she is a mess and not thinking, and now she is back here. I won’t say shit, but I am pissed, she is an adult but if you can help her then do it” I shrugged “Saint and her are using each other for shit, and it's going to end nasty, I know it” Robyn said “she said that Saint doesn’t really want Aziel around, so I said that is why my grandchild is in this state, because you are stupid. Look I have had it out with her a lot, hurt people do hurt shit, what can I say” she is so dumb, like Rylee is loathing herself that she rather not mourn it and do dumb shit.

I didn’t bother to say anything to Rylee but hi, I mean Robyn has threatened me to not say a thing and I won’t “shocked you broke away from Saint” Imani said, she has just come home “yeah” Rylee just said, “hey dad, I am still thinking about what you said, also Willow and I are going to Miami” nodding my head “go for it, have fun” Imani sat next to me “so how come you’re here?” Imani asked Rylee “because I am” she just said, “the fast life always catches up on you” I said, “you should know” she retorted “I do, but I didn’t do what you did with the kids” Raihan walked into the room, Aziel is behind him which is nice “you playing nice with him” I asked “yes, but he is a baby. He sucks his thumb” side eying Raihan “he is a baby” maybe he will like Raihan “go and get some toys, bring them down for the room” Raihan sighed out “fine” waving Aziel over “also change the channel, who is ever watching news” looking over at my phone “I am going to ignore that for you, come here” Aziel made his way over to me “there we go” placing him on my lap “I have missed you Aziel, where have you been?” Imani asked him “I heard you are TT baby” Imani tickled him, and he smiled, looking over at my phone again “popular man” it’s just Skepz, I only link with him in London “daddy!” looking away from my phone, Aziel clapped “dad” looking up at the TV “we have some breaking news, UK rap sensation Central Cee, dated Rihanna and Chris Brown daughter. He has been taken into hospital from a drug overdose, that is all we have currently. We will bring you updated information as we get it, and if you have just tuned in, UK rapper Central Cee has been taken into hospital from a drug overdose” staring at the TV like that shit is untrue, Aziel is saying dad like it’s anything good “fuck, Skepz” he is calling me again “I just heard, I am calling you! Streets are saying on scene” my heart sank “bro, don’t say that shit. Streets don’t know shit” waving at Grace “Take him” I said “well I just heard like half hour ago, no news bro. Like streets are saying it was done” he talking shit “listen I ain’t-” I paused looking at Rylee, I know this girl isn’t wailing “what happened?” Robyn rushed in “call you back” disconnecting the call, let me try and call Wadz “oh my god” Robyn said in disbelief “dad say it isn’t true” Imani asked me, and I am trying, placing my phone against my ear, Wadz isn’t going to answer so I will do YB, he will answer “I don’t know, just hold on. Rylee fucking relax” she is scaring Aziel “fam” I knew he would answer “tell me, just please” I asked “I know as much as you, I am going to the hospital now, if I get anything I will call you. I am just in shock myself. Nobody answering me shit” my heart is in my mouth right now “fuck” I breathed out “I got to go now” he disconnected the call “Skepz said it was on scene” I just said, “what does that even mean?” Imani asked “no don’t say that!? Don’t’ say that!” Rylee screamed out “I am going London, fuck this shit” getting up, I am going there right now.

[ericleo108]

06/09/2023 Click here for Spotify, Apple Music, or Youtube. “Yeah we bang” is my 47th official release. This song is borderline edutainment and is about American imperialism or at least talks about America's foreign policy to give an enlightened perspective. The song is energetic and intellectually stimulating. It talks about America's hidden military history of CIA coos in South America for example. Sam Peters recorded, mixed, and mastered the song at La Luna in Kalamazoo Michigan. The beat is from KeyAno and the cover art is made by Gigzlogo from Fiverr.

I uploaded “Yeah we bang” to get a deal on the upload fee. Then I decided to produce “Philosophy 101” and went to go release it in May and noticed Cornel’s birthday was June 2nd, so I made the decision to officially release two on the same day and just promote “Yeah we bang” for the next week’s release on the 9th.

You can see me talk about this blog post from last Sunday’s Update here:

Lyrics:

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang 

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang 

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang 

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang 

I got business dreams that are very large 

I got friends I know that would play the part

There’s girls I know that would make it hard

If I could afford paid promotion I’d make the charts

If you don’t want South America at your border

You shouldn’t of been hostile and invaded with soldiers

To overthrow how the people had voted

 Democratically elected leaders that opposed you 

Most don’t know about the whole map

Let alone results of all the blowback,

No media attention for overthrown countries

That makes the military complex money

America an empire, oppressive and racist

From the exploitation of blacks and natives

Don’t judge me because I read and listened

And recognize what it is in order to fix it

Most don’t recognize the imperialism 

Take from countries, overthrow their leaders

Destroy their means, call ours a dream 

And make them immigrate to avoid our scheme

We destroy economies, say were freeing them, please

And what takes their place is a violent regime 

Wanna overthrow America imperially? 

Put an American embassy up in DC

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

They look’n at me with soldier eyes

Like they mistook me for the poltergeist 

They leave em shook from insightful lies

Yep it’s Fox New’s time to shine 

I’m at the mic, smackin tracks that tight

Passionately rappin and act’n with spit 

Distract’n from the fact that the wealthy only rise

If you have the money for the enterprise

The stratification, across the nation 

Is the reason why people can’t afford payments

Billionaires are leaving the planet 

While you can’t afford a house to manage. 

This the US, where we protect our interests 

We’ll take their resources, and give it to our businesses

Exploit labor, health coverage, nada

To the point, people can’t live or prosper

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

Yeah we hang

Yeah we bang

Yeah we go and do that thang

[the-yoru-whoru]

( part one ) Valorant discord,,,, val dudes x shy! introverted! reader | ( school au ) ( tw assault ) ( some angst and comfort ) ( nsfw mentions under the cut) ( reverse - harem ) ( god this is so self indulgent ) ( not about to proofread this whole thing so apologies for mistakes ) ( dub-con)

Discord nights were loud.

Phoenix often screaming into the mic whenever he died, Yoru telling him to shut up, and Chamber complimenting his own gaming skills.

You often play as healer or support, and are very good at it.

Although you are quite quiet compared to your friends, whenever you spoke the call would quiet, and you’d never be ignored or forgotten.

The first time you started playing with them, it had just been you and Phoenix.

Him being the overly extroverted and loud friend, you being introverted and meek in most cases, preferring to stay home and game then to go out and meet people.

But the two of you got along perfectly.

Easily flustered and with a tendency to overreact to jump scares or teasing, he just thought you were so fun to hang with.

Which led to you both hopping onto a discord call for at least a few hours a night every day.

You were both still in school, so sometimes the two of you would vc just to do work together, once in a while talking and just enjoying knowing the other person was there.

Then Phoenix met someone from his school named Yoru.

The first time Yoru joined the call, he hadn’t even seen awkward, just speaking confidently and mostly replying to Phoenix’s jokes with an eye roll that was almost visible in his tone of voice.

You took a while to warm up to him, but Yoru was calmer then Phoenix, and talked to you in a slightly more gentle way.

The only times he really raised his voice are when Phoenix team kills him, or when someone on the other team is trash talking too much.

His ego just can’t take the assault sometimes.

Yoru is often the carry in most games, and is known for staying calm and clutching most seemingly un-winnable rounds.

You and him often vc to play chill fps games together, as he’s good at guiding you to the win and giving tips on aiming.

Chamber joined in on the request of Yoru.

Yoru had been taking French classes, and apparently got along well with one of the assistants.

The French dude was self-absorbed and cocky, but was very polite towards you.

You often find yourself flustered whenever he comes onto vc, referring to you as “mon amour” jokingly (?).

The three of these were pure chaos in every game, and as a result Saturday nights on Minecraft quickly turned into all out battles and building competitions with you as the judge.

All three had ego’s the size of a house, and were constantly fighting, with you usually trying to calm the situations and add reason.

It got even worse when the three of them would put aside rivalries just to fluster and confuse you as much as possible, whether it be buying you skins in games or having pick up line contests, it was overwhelming.

That’s why you were slightly grateful that Sova decided to join.

The man was calm, humble, and kind.

He and Phoenix got along surprisingly well, and apparently had met in some school events.

Sova was the friend you went to when you wanted to play Stardew Valley, or when you wanted someone to talk with while you played Animal Crossing.

Him playing with the chaos trio was equally fun, as he was funny in a wholesome way, and was very matter of fact in pointing out mistakes in the others gameplay.

The dude has never raged or been toxic. Ever.

At this point your discord server was almost always active; there would be someone on at any time, and it was nice to always just pop into a vc and talk for a little throughout the day.

Over time more people joined in.

Cypher was the genius smart ass who was the most likely out of all of you to go to MIT, and Omen always had his status set to “life has no meaning” while his profile picture sported a picture of a cute cat.

Everyone got along well, and although you were the only girl you never felt excluded, if anything the other guys constantly talked about how you held the group together.

You felt loved and a lot of the time they were the ones who helped you not feel lonely when you were always home alone.

But nothing could have prepared you for how loved you’d really feel.

( nsfw parts from here )

( clarification : you’ve never seen any of the guys irl before, except for Phoenix, and even then that was years ago, when you were both dorky middle schoolers who played on your 3DS together )

They all had nice voices.

You would never admit it, but sometimes their voices were too nice sounding.

The first time Sova called you a good girl for getting dinner instead of eating ramen, you had to suppress a full body shiver.

You were mortified at the sound you made when Cypher called you a sweet girl, and had been so flustered at your own reaction that you had simply exited the call.

Yoru’s tired voice in the early morning of the day was unnecessarily sexy, and Phoenix’s pissed off voice had no reason making you as breathy as it did.

And that’s not even mentioning Chamber’s sensual voice when he talks about how much he appreciates your help with his English homework ( why does he keep referring to you as his goddess!?!? ).

And sometimes, on the rare occasions that Omen did speak, it was just to say how cute you were when you get scared on horror movie night, in a low voice that was just a little bit teasing, something he usually never did.

Suffice to say, you were having a hard time handling it.

On the other hand… the valorant guys were having some issues of their own.

Having one on ones conversations with you felt like heaven to Yoru at times.

He’d feel guilty as he crept a hand into his shorts as he listened to you talk late through the night, your soft voice making his chest tighten with longing.

Phoenix would constantly imagine what you looked like now, always pestering you to post a selfie in the chats or something, but you were always too embarrassed.

Being the genius and computer wiz he is, it didn’t take much for Cypher to find out what you looked like in real life.

The overwhelming guilt of having invaded your privacy would always be lessened when he jacked off to your pictures, matching your kind voice to the sweet girl he’d put up on his screen.

Sova started becoming flustered in your presence, stuttering a bit more and sometimes forgetting his train of thought whenever you spoke.

The ever lurking edge lord Omen would start talking to you very often, if not just to send a quick cat gif into your private dms, or to ask you to tell him about you day.

He had to replace his computer mouse after a night of playing horror games with you; your quivering voice and adorable squeals made him clench down on his mouse so hard it cracked straight through the middle.

He tells you that he just stepped on it by accident.

Even though you don’t know what your boys looked like, it was enough that their voices and presence was always there for you.

Until one night you’re walking home from a late night shift at work.

You’re busy thinking about what game you’d want to play tonight, and whether Sova managed to make it onto the archery team like he mentioned.

So busy that you don’t notice the dark figure creeping up behind you before it’s too late.

The rest is a teary eyed blur; you feel hands pulling at your shirt, the smell of booze on your assailants hot breath, and his greasy mouth on your lips.

It feels like ages before someone pulls him off of you, and starts speaking to you worriedly.

There are police involved and you numbly answer the questions of the kind lady across from you, and finally, a police car drops you off at your apartment, pushing a card with a number into your hand and telling you to get therapy if needed.

You stare blankly at the door after you close it. Finally, you start sobbing, falling against the door and crying brokenly.

You don’t log onto discord that night.

Or the next. Or even the next. Days turn into weeks and you haven’t logged into for almost a month.

You feel so gross and afraid.

You triple check your doors every night, you scrub at your skin till it’s red, you have sleepless nights about a greasy body pressed up against your behind.

You can’t even muster up the will to attend classes anymore.

It’s a Friday night when you hear a knock at your door.

You freeze at your spot on the couch, laying aimlessly about while a news channel played on the tv.

Standing up a bit unsteadily, you look through the peephole cautiously.

There’s a familiar face on the other side. Your eyes widen.

( part two )

[jjolmyeonz]

cookie | kim sunoo

pairing: sunoo x gender neutral! reader

genre: fluff with a tinge of angst

word count: 888

warnings: mentions of food, minimal cursing

“Come to think of it, Sun,” why are we even fighting in the first place?”

You sat side-by-side with your boyfriend, Sunoo, who's breathlessly panting from his P.E. class. Not bothering to look at him, you curl up in a guilty ball as the events from earlier resurface from your memories. He, on the other hand, doesn't say a word immediately; he just looks somewhere at a distance, just averting your gaze and waiting for the words he wanted to hear from you—“I'm sorry.”

Heck. Sitting under the tree with him was supposed to be a great time but not right now. You could clearly remember you having a pretty unpleasant parting with him before your classes started, with you lashing out at him and him running off before you could even apologize.

"Nope," he spat out, breaths slowing as he avoids your gaze and fixes it somewhere far away. "You should know that by now."

You grumbled. "Ugh, come on! Is this how we're supposed to fix this?"

He mindlessly kicked away a stone. "You tell me."

This new attitude Sunoo showed you was completely out of the ordinary. Though his sulking was totally understandable, how he could utter words with such a tone was so beyond you. The Kim Sunoo that sat beside you was different—he wasn't gonna have any bullshit.

You didn't know what to say next, being cornered by his statement. I'm sorry? I shouldn't have shouted at you? It was childish of me? You felt like whatever you say among these would either make or break the situation, so you sit and think again despite knowing it would make Sunoo look like an idiot waiting for an answer from you.

"Y/N." Sunoo called out as calmly as possible, trying his best not to whine out of impatience.

"Fine!" you blurted out with eyes shut, scared to see whatever expression is all over your boyfriend's face. It wasn't going to help with your already agitated self. "I just wanted some of your cookies, okay?"

A moment of silence follows as the sound of swooshing leaves make up for the white noise. One, two, three seconds pass and your urge to be eaten up by the ground gradually rose. There was no point in explaining yourself further, because judging the lack of reaction from Sunoo, whatever you say next would be futile.

Just then, peals of laughter rung in your ears along with sounds of clapping and feet hitting the ground. In disbelief, you lifted your head up and turned to him. He was definitely enjoying this. Was your boyfriend seriously laughing at you in this situation?

"Hey, Kim Sunoo!" you hissed, finally mustering up the courage to give your boyfriend a sour look.

Him laughing will always be therapeutic to you in a sense, but in this state? It was hell on earth. Cheeks warm from embarrassment and subtle anger, you stared as he falls to the floor, clapping like a madman as his laughs fail to cease. Unbelievable.

"Ah, Y/N… I should've known!" he says between giggles, even unintentionally hitting your shoulder. "You still owe me an apology for shouting, by the way."

"Damn it." you roll your eyes, cursing under your breath.

"What was that, my love?" Sunoo teasingly extends a hand in front of your mouth as if pointing a mic at you. The amusement was clear as day in his face and you were hopeless.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you, Kim." you conceded, searching for any trace of anger on his face. You wouldn't want to mess this up, wouldn't you?

Sunoo, still amused, softly pats your heavy shoulder, smile fading as you avoid his gaze again. I must've been too hard on them myself.

He clearly remembers turning his back on you as the bell rings for the next class. Surely he would've given you enough time to apologize if it weren't for that matter, but he figured you would've taken it the wrong way—that he would ignore you that easily.

"You know I love cookies the most in the world, bubs," you continue, looking up at him with tired eyes. "and the fact that wouldn't share them upsets me."

Shit. You did take it the wrong way. He was supposed to keep the box of your favorite cookies hidden until the end of the last period, but alas, you have spotted him chucking it in his backpack.

"Baby—"

You nodded vigorously. "Petty, I know."

"These were for you, silly."

He places a slightly damaged box of cookies on your lap. Wrapped daintily in fancy paper and ribbons, you could see sugar cookies peeking out of the box's small orifice. Tears welled up your eyes, realizing how dumb you were for not realizing what date it was today. How could I forget? Your chest dropped at the thought of him sad for the rest of his classes.

"Happy anniversary, L/N."

"Oh, come on!" you squeaked, snatching a cookie from the box and popping it into your mouth. "How am I ever gonna stand to be away from you at this point?"

"Then don't." he replied, lifting your face up with a finger and blowing cookie crumbs off of your lips. He eventually pecks them with lips dangerously close to your face. "Stay close for as long as you wish."

a/n: hiiii everyone! i come bringing a gift 🤩 maybe i'll progress to longer fics soon if my time and mental capacity permits it but hey, starting small wasn't as bad as i thought it would be! hope u guys enjoy 🥹

© jjolmyeonz on tumblr, 2022

[kenneth-omega]

kenny omega x reader

“sit still or get off my cock”

warnings: 18+, cockwarming, sexual language used

a/n: i saw the prompt on a NSFW list which I can’t find again 😑 but yeah hope you enjoy this load of waffle about gamer!Ken

word count: 876

👾 “that’s bullshit!” kenny barks down the microphone of his headset, angered at his loss in this round of the video game he’s been obsessing over since he came home last week.

👾 you’d seen glimpses of him through the week, having still been working yourself despite his return, often kissing his forehead goodbye in the mornings whilst he slept and then returning home to find him sat up in your combined office/games room, eyes glued to his monitor.

👾 tonight however was the last straw. perhaps you shouldn’t have allowed your pent up frustrations to fuel your actions, having not had time to clear your head after returning from a mind-frazzling day at your job.

👾 finding the nicest set of lingerie you owned, a particularly racy combo that kenny had actually bought you himself for valentine’s day, you got changed and went to find your boyfriend. he was sat in the same place as always, leaning back in his cushioned gamer chair, his hair slightly damp from his shower earlier.

👾 positioning yourself in the corner of his eyesight you wait for him to notice your presence. not even a minute later kenny has lost his next round and he rolls his eyes, taking a moment to glance your way, wondering why you were loitering around. he has to do a double take as his brain tries to catch up with his eyes, and you can see the cogs whirring in his head.

👾 with a sly grin he beckons you to his lap, with which you oblige happily, positioning yourself so that you’re straddling his legs, hovering just above his crotch, where you know he won’t be wearing any boxers beneath the tracksuit pants he currently adorns.

👾 he pulls you into him, a signal to lean backwards so your back rests against his chest, his curls tickling against your collarbone as he rests his chin on your shoulder in order to keep a clear view of the screen.

👾 as he enters the new round you begin to feel impatient, having secretly hoped that the sight of you alone would have pulled him away from this bloody game long enough to give you what you wanted. what you’d been craving all week. your ass presses firmly into his lap, and with a slight shift of your hips you can feel the half-hard outline of his cock flush against the soft flesh of your cheek.

👾 this prompts a salacious smirk from you, a telltale sign that he’s not entirely focused on the game. slowly you begin to grind yourself against him, at first only a couple of fleeting rolls of the hips, just to test the water.

👾 kenny seemingly doesn’t flinch, but his cock continues to grow, now erect and vying for attention as it nudges you, reacting to every slow swirl of movement you make. feeling brave, you start up a steady rhythm, giving yourself that much needed friction to quell the fire in your stomach.

👾 you can hear the game’s noise bleed through the headphones, along with a couple of voices of kenny’s friends who he’s online with. you dip a hand down to toy at the waistband of your panties, running a finger along the elastic and letting it snap, the sound pinging in the otherwise silent room.

👾 by this point you were unable to understand how he hadn’t thrown the controller aside to tend to yours and, judging by his erection, his obvious needs. feeling irritable, you give a breathy moan as one particular roll of the hips has his tip bumping up against your clothed, throbbing clit. the noise isn’t lost on kenny as you can hear one of his friends ask down the mic what that sound was, causing kenny’s jaw to set and clench.

👾 a small victory. you grow more ambitious, a hand reaching up to tug softly at his curls as you roll your hips more aggressively. this seems to be a step too far for kenny, as his hand leaves his controller to grip the wrist of your arm currently wrapped up in his hair.

👾 you turn and bat your eyelashes innocently, able to see the vein in his neck flexing with each clench and unclench of his jaw. his eyes promise dark revenge as he silently tells you to behave, his gaze portraying the clear message of warning:

👾 “sit still or get off my cock”

👾 as though in challenge, a silent dare for you to misbehave again, kenny lifts you off his lap slightly with his strong arms, shuffling his pants down so that his erection is free from restraint. without further consolidation kenny slips your panties to one side and angles you down onto his large shaft, grunting softly as you sink deep onto him.

👾 you wait for him to make the next move, but instead, much to your chagrin, he simply picks up the controller once more and continues his game.

👾 you’re speechless in all honestly and were it not for the full and delicious feeling of him being sheathed in your tight cunt you’d have probably slapped him. but you know kenny and how his brain works.

👾 this is his challenge to you. behave and sit still whilst you warm his cock, or else you’ll not get the release you’ve so desperately craved all week.

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,” you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol