#jouno angst

[iovetecchou]

If I Can't Have You... ⧸ Jouno Saigiku

༞ Part 1. Part 2.

༞ Contains…! angst, toxic relationship, emotionally detached / mind broken reader, asshole jouno, mentions of blood and physical pain, minor sexual implications (not directed at reader) slightly? remorseful? jouno?

༞ GN Reader.

༞ 1,246 words.

You couldn’t tell how long it had been since everything had occurred. All you knew was that your life was now different. It was strange, though this different felt oddly familiar.

This contrast was something that settled in your chest. But fogged your mind; something that felt strangely nostalgic. Sure, your new normal was questionable. But at least you didn’t have to lie to yourself anymore, and neither did Jouno.

They always say ignorance is bliss. However, this newfound knowledge had set you free. You were unrestricted from your mind, unrestrained from your feelings, from your body. You didn’t have to worry about yourself anymore. Nothing about you mattered unless Jouno said so. He controlled the strings. Something about relinquishing said control; freed you.

You still woke up to no new messages on your phone. But it didn’t concern you anymore. Nothing seemed to matter to you. You still did your daily routines; cleaning up around the house, picking out Jouno‘s uniforms for the following week, and making meals.

It was as though you were on autopilot. Each day was like clockwork, but this routine was the only sense of stability you had left.

The moment you placed the meal you had prepared atop the dining room table… the door creaked open.

“Princess, I’m home! I knew that divine smell from the hallway was coming from our place. Nothing compares to—”

“My cooking. Come, sit, enjoy while it’s still hot.”

He’s told you the same line—

Over,

And over,

And over again.

You could always predict what he was going to say next. It felt as though you were on some poorly scripted sitcom, secretly anticipating a laugh track to follow. But it never came because these weren’t just lines from a script or some job; that you could walk away from at the end of the day.

No, this was your every waking moment, and it would be until the day you died.

“Ah, you know me so well. Why don’t you join me, hm? I’m sure it took you ages to prepare this dish for me—“

“I’m not hungry. I’ll give you some space to eat now.”

Jouno quirked a brow at your choice of words but decided to shake off your dismissive attitude, regardless.

“Some company would be nice. But if you don’t want to, I won’t force you… I’ll just call— ah… what was their name again? The person I was… tangled up with at my office the other week? Oh, I guess their mouth was a little preoccupied at the time so I didn’t quite catch their name. But, I can just call them up to keep me company instead.”

“If that’s what you want, Saigiku.”

You didn’t so much as flinch when those venomous words left Jouno’s lips. Your heartbeat remained on a steady rhythm. No spiked blood pressure and your tone of voice was eerily calm. Jouno was taken aback, by your lack of concern. Sure, he said all those things to get a rise out of you; but no give.

Jouno didn’t even recognize you. For weeks you’ve been a zombie. Following his every order and never contradicting his words. At first, this was best case scenario for the blind king himself. But… you weren’t anything anymore. Sure, you might have been there physically, but mentally? You were checked out. No semblance of life— or will to continue. You were just… there.

Jouno began to wonder if he took things too far. If he broke you beyond the point of return. He quickly pushed those thoughts into the depths of his mind. Besides, he had no reason to feel guilty. He was the entire reason you had a roof over your head. Food filling the kitchen, and books lining the shelves for your enjoyment.

Except, you hadn’t picked up a book in ages. Jouno noted. You used to read a few chapters of whichever book you were currently infatuated with to him each night before bed, but not anymore. And he couldn’t recall the last time you ate. Jouno secretly hoped you had proper meals when he wasn’t around— wait. Was he… beginning to show some concern for you? No, this needed to stop. Now.

“Y/N… Stop this nonsense immediately. Time for fun and games is over.”

“Was the food not good tonight, Saigiku? I’m sorry, I can make you something different. I’ll be sure to make enough for your unnamed guest as well. Do you think they’ll be here soon? I’ll start right away if so.”

Just what the fuck had he done. The old Y/N would never function this way or say these things. He didn’t love you by any means, but he tolerated you. And maybe some things you did in the past amused him. But you were nothing more than an empty husk now. Jouno knew now that he did push it too far with you. And he could hardly suppress that stomach-dropping feeling that crawled up his spine; remorse.

Jouno quickly sat up from his place at the dining room table, making quick strides toward you. Your back was facing him as you now made yourself busy with cleaning some of the dirty dishes that piled up.

Jouno grasped your shoulders firmly, spinning you on your heel, finally gaining your full attention.

“Y/N, I said cut it out! I hate what you’ve become. I want you to stop this. All of this. Immediately!”

“Stop? Stop… what?”

His hands gripped your shoulders even fiercer in frustration, but you didn’t care. The pain didn’t bother you much anyway.

“Y/N please… alright— look, I’m sorry. There? Are you happy now? Can you stop fucking with me now?”

“Sorry? For… what?”

Jouno scored his bottom lip with his teeth in frustration. Drawing blood from how hard he had done so. You truly had no clue what he was talking about. This wasn’t just some ruse; you were gone. Even if he tried to pick up the pieces and attempt to put you back together… so many core components of you were missing. Irreplaceable ones.

“Have I… upset you, Saigiku?”

Your hands came up to wipe a few stray tears that managed to slip past Jouno’s closed eyelids.

He hadn’t even noticed that he was… crying. Until he felt your cold hands swipe over his newly dampened cheeks. He couldn’t help but laugh at how ironic all of this was.

Jouno was always the dismissive one when it came to feelings and emotions. But the roles were now reversed.

“Y/N, if you’re still in there somewhere, please just say something— give me a sign, just— anything!”

“Still in… where? I’m right here, Saigiku. I don’t think I understand what you want from me this time.”

The tears flowed freely down his reddened cheeks at this point. Jouno could care less about how he appeared at this very moment. He was desperate.

He didn’t want anyone else to have you. That’s why he isolated you and broke you down the way he did. But the person standing before him wasn’t… you. You weren’t much of anything anymore. The worst part of it all? Jouno was responsible for doing this to you.

“Y/N… I’m going to step out for a little while. I’ll be back tomorrow, perhaps.”

“Okay. Same time tomorrow?”

Jouno hesitated for a moment from your familiar words. His hold on your shoulders loosened as he took a moment to compose himself, taking in a shaky breath before he uttered,

“Indeed, same time tomorrow.”

[autumnleaf1111]

𝚃𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝙻𝚘𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕

SueGiku — Jouno angst???

☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎☣︎

Summary:

Thunderstorms; Some kids view them as exciting and beautiful, while others find them dreadful and terrifying.

Those fears are for little kids.

Those fears shouldn’t be for adults who have many other things to be scared of. Especially if you’ve only known death your whole life.

↷ꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀ↶

Thunderstorms; Some kids view them as exciting and beautiful, while others find them dreadful and terrifying. For those who enjoy the rumble of thunder and the flash of lightning, a stormy night can be a thrilling experience. The ominous clouds rolling in and the crack of thunder can create a sense of awe and wonder. On the other hand, for those who are scared of the loud noises and the unpredictable nature of thunderstorms, not knowing exactly what it was, can be a time of great anxiety and fear.

Like I said; those fears are for little kids.

Those fears shouldn’t be for adults who have many other things to be scared of. Especially if you’re part of The Hunting Dogs. The group of grown men who have been through pain and misery. Who’ve had many inhumane surgeries to make them stronger.

So why is it that Thunderstorms bother Jouno so much? Although he’d never admit it to anyone. It’s not that he’s scared of them, he just hates them. Being blind is a terrible way to live. Having to focus on your other senses to live. Although at least they are better than others. The feeling of touch is stronger. The sense of smell is stronger.

The ability to hear everything little thing around you is stronger.

That's the advantage of having heightened senses - it makes it easier for Jouno to navigate his surroundings. Being able to hear others quiet footsteps from down the hall. Hearing people breathe loudly when they aren’t. Shit, even hearing one’s heartbeat from across the room, knowing if they’re lying or not. What emotions they feel.

But of course, there are down sides to the loud hearing. If there’s room that’s loud to others, it’s even louder for Jouno. Sometimes painfully loud. He’d never show that it bothers him, he’d always keep his face from flinching.

So you can only imagine what thunder would do. As if loud sounds of drums are right by Jouno’s ears.

Again, it’s not a fear, is it? It mustn’t be. Jouno doesn’t have time for silly children fears.

Just annoyance. That’s it. Totally not a fear.

𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔𐀔

It had been a calm day in the Dorms. That was up until almost midnight when it started to rain. Tachihara, Teruko and Fukuchi had gone to bed a few hours ago, leaving Jouno and Tecchou the only ones awake. The two sat silently in the common area, Jouno reading by running his fingers along the braille words on his book, while Tecchou was finishing up some paperwork.

After a while, the sound of soft taps on the roof could be heard, indicating that it started raining. Jouno didn’t think much of it, until it started to get louder. “Ugh…” Jouno mumbled. Tecchou looked up and spoke. “Everything alright?” Jouno sighed. “The rain is being obnoxiously loud.” He closed the book and set it down on the table next to a glass of water in front of him. He then lowered himself to his side, leaning himself against the arm of the sofa. “I think you should go to bed Jouno, it’s almost midnight.” Tecchou said. Jouno just hummed in response. Jouno continued lying there, making himself comfortable on the couch. “I didn’t mean sleep on the couch—” Tecchou mumbled. Just then, the rain started pouring harder and louder, causing Jouno to scowl in annoyance. He sat up, grabbed the water and took a sip, then put it back down.

“I doubt I can sleep through this—” Jouno was interrupted by a loud bang of thunder, flinching and putting his hands on the sides of his head at the loud sound piercing and hurting his ears. “Jouno?” Tecchou said in concern. “Shit…” Jouno mumbled as he took his hands away from his ears.

“Damn it! Tecchou saw me flinch…” Jouno thought to himself, quickly trying to regained his composure, hoping Tecchou didn’t actually notice. “Jouno, Did you just—” Tecchou started. “Shut up Tecchou.” Jouno snapped. Another clap of thunder came, louder than the first, Jouno flinched and covered his ears again, hissing at the pain as It shook the whole building. His heart was beating fast, his body slightly but still noticeably shaking. Taking deep breath, Jouno sat crisscrossed and grabbed the glass of water and took a sip before putting it back down.

He flinched again as two more loud claps of thunder echoed through the sky. He covered his ears at the painful sound. He didn’t notice Tecchou sat beside him until he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Jouno, what’s wrong?” He asked, voice filled with worry. “I’m fine.” Another sound of thunder, louder than the last one struck. “Damn it!” “Jouno, what’s going on?” Tecchou asked, taking his hand away from Jouno’s shoulder. Jouno placed his hands in his lap.

“Jouno, please tell me what’s wrong.” Tecchou asked. “Don’t ever repeat this to anyone.” Jouno said. “I won’t, I promise.” Tecchou reassured. Jouno mumbled, not loud enough for Tecchou to hear. “Sorry, can you repeat that? I couldn’t hear you.” Tecchou asked. Jouno sighed. “I hate thunderstorms.” He said, louder this time.

“You’re scared of thunderstorms?” Tecchou asked in disbelief. “I’m not scared, I just despise them.” Jouno said. “Can I know why?” Tecchou asked. “Thunders too loud, it hurts my ears.” Jouno explained. “Is it because your hearing is heightened?” Tecchou asked. Jouno nodded, then winced and covered his ears as another sound of thunder hit. “It’s like drums are inside my ears.”

“Hm…what do you usually do when this happens?” Tecchou asked as he crisscrossed his legs. “I just wait till it’s over…” Jouno said, he covered his ears again as thunder struck louder than the others, causing a quiet whine from him. “Shit…why’s it so much louder and painful this time…” Jouno bit his lip in frustration. He felt Tecchou stand up from the couch. “Where are you going?” Jouno asked, sounding more scared than he’d like, his voice trembling. “Come on, let’s go to my room.” Tecchou said. “Why…?” Jouno asked, slowly standing up to follow him. “My room makes everything outside quieter so I figured if you tried to sleep there it would help just a little bit.” Tecchou said, softly putting his hand on Jouno’s arm.

ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ

As they walked down the halls, Jouno still kept his hands over his ears, bracing himself for anymore thunder. The two eventually made their way to Tecchou’s room. When they walked in, Jouno noticed that Tecchou was right. It was quieter in his room. “I guess you’re right, it is quieter in here.” Jouno said as he sat on Tecchou’s bed. “Jouno, you doing okay now?” Tecchou asked. “I’m fine…thank you Tecchou.” Jouno hesitantly thanked him. “It’s nothing.” Tecchou said as he turned off the small lamp.

“What time is it?” Jouno asked. “Almost 1am.” Tecchou answered. “No wonder I feel drowsy.” Jouno yawned. Tecchou climbed on the bed and got under the covers. “Where do you want me to sleep…?” Jouno hesitantly asked. “On the bed.” Tecchou tiredly mumbled. Jouno’s face flushed. He cautiously got himself comfortable under the covers, keeping a bit of distance between him and Tecchou. “You don’t need to be so tense.” Tecchou said, eyes closed as he pulled Jouno closer to him.

Jouno hesitantly moved himself closer, letting Tecchou wrap his arms around him, head pressed against Tecchou’s chest, easily hearing his heart beat. “Just listen to my heart beat and ignore the thunder.” Tecchou muttered. Jouno slowly relaxed, leaning closer and hummed in comfort as Tecchou thread his fingers through Jouno’s hair. “What the hell is happening” Jouno thought to himself. As much as Jouno hates to admit it, Tecchou’s touch was comforting, something he could get used to, but he hated how he doesn’t mind feeling vulnerable with him right now. With their bodies against each other, Jouno was sure that Tecchou could feel his heart beating faster than usual.

Jouno finally realized he’s in love with Tecchou. The guy he always despised.

“Holy shit…I’m in love with Tecchou…” Jouno thought, burying his face in the other’s chest trying not to smile, Tecchou could feel him smiling. “Jouno, are you ok?” “I’m fine…thank you for this…” Jouno replied tiredly. “I could feel you smiling—” “shut up”. Without thinking, Jouno lifted his head up to face Tecchou, he couldn’t see, but he knew Tecchou was looking at him. “Jouno, are you alright?” Tecchou asked.

“There’s something I wanna do...” Jouno said. “What is it?” Tecchou asked. “Yes or no?” Jouno said. “What?” Tecchou’s face turned into confusion. “Pick between yes or no.” Jouno said, sitting up, Tecchou sitting up as well. “…yes” Tecchou said, Jouno’s breath hitched. “Please don’t hate me after this…” Jouno muttered, slowly cupping Tecchou’s face.

Tecchou could see the guilt in Jouno's eyes as he braced himself for whatever was about to happen. Jouno took a deep breath and leaned in, pressing his lips against Tecchou's in a soft, gentle kiss. Tecchou was taken aback at first, but soon found himself melting into the kiss. The softness of their lips against his, the warmth of their embrace enveloping him in a whirlwind of emotions. It was as if time had stopped, and all that existed in that moment was the two of them, locked in a passionate embrace. He felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins, his heart pounding in his chest as he deepened the kiss, losing himself in the sensation.

Tecchou broke the kiss, lightly tugging at Jouno’s bottom lip. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that, Jouno.” Tecchou whispered against his lips. Jouno’s shuttered at the feeling of Tecchou’s breath against his skin, heart racing dramatically. “I take it, you don’t hate me.” Jouno’s mumbled. “I could never hate you Jouno, it’s quite the opposite actually.” Tecchou chuckled. “So…what now?” Jouno whispered. “What would you like to do?” Tecchou asked. “I don’t know, I didn’t think I’d get this far.” Jouno said as he tilted his head down. Tecchou laughed.

“Well, I think we should talk about this, we clearly have feelings for each other.” Tecchou said. Jouno slowly nodded. “How long have you been in love with me…?” Jouno asked. “About a year after meeting you.” Tecchou admitted. “Really…?!” Jouno said with shocked expression. “Yeah, I never said anything because I genuinely thought you hated me.” Tecchou said. “I can’t hate you even if I tried.” Jouno said. “How about you, How long have you been in love with me?” Tecchou asked. “Uh…I actually realized it like 30 seconds before I kissed you…but now that I think about it, I’ve probably been in love with you for a while.” Jouno admitted. “Hm…”

Tecchou thought for a moment before he gently took Jouno’s chin between his fingers. “Jouno, Can I kiss you again?” Jouno silently wrapped his arms around Tecchou, pressing their bodies together, kissing him passionately.

ꨄꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꕀꨄ

[fisshbones]

Once More to See You

A/n: I still suck at endings :’( i’m half asleep and sick so this might not be that good!!

If you liked this please like and reblog <333

Tw: gn!reader(only reffered as you), possibly ooc, hurt with no comfort.

Men whose reputations were everything to them. They had to keep up the pristine and perfect persona. They kept your relationship hidden from everyone. Shameful over daring to even converse with someone as lowly as you. Yet despite the harsh words, they enjoyed every second with you. To be seen with a standard human like you would surely damage his image.

One night the fear of ruining his reputation hits an all time peak, and he loses his cool. Yelling at you that you’re not worth losing anything for. That this all needs to end; that it’s been a waste of his time to be pursuing a useless relationship. When he finally cools down and you leave, will he realize what he’s just done. No matter what he sees or hears he tell himself that it was worth it. His reputation is no longer at stake and you can be happier not needing to pay pretend anymore.

They wish they could just leave everything behind and live a life with you two. No worries of work, reputation, or enemies. Maybe in the next lifetime. But in this lifetime they hope you’d forgive them somewhere down the line for leaving you.

As years go by and he gets older, the only hope he has is that one day you’ll be back so you’ll be able to grow old together. Every marriage proposal he turns down because he can only imagine spending his life with you. He thought his reputation was everything, now he realizes you were actually everything thing to him.

doppo kunikida, Ayato, pantalone, Sunday, alhaitham, Fyodor, Angel Devil, dr. ratio, Barbatos, Saigiku Jouno, blade.

©2024 fisshbones do not translate, copy, modify, nor repost.

[shall-we-die]

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{Urge}

How badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo stray dogs}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0070}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Atsushi|

If his s/o is separated from him, Atsushi will likely miss them deeply and feel an intense longing to see them again.

He may constantly think about them and worry about their safety, as well as wonder how they are doing.

He may have difficulty concentrating on his work or hobbies, as his mind is preoccupied with thoughts of them.

He may also have difficulty sleeping at night, as he misses having them nearby to comfort him. Overall, Atsushi will feel a deep sense of loneliness and emptiness when they are apart.

Atsushi’s feelings of missing his s/o can be described as intense and overwhelming. He feels a sense of longing and emptiness when they are apart, and his thoughts are constantly preoccupied with them.

He may have difficulty concentrating on anything else, as his mind is consumed by thoughts of their safety and well-being.

He may also experience a sense of worry and anxiety about not knowing when he will see them again, and this can lead to feelings of helplessness and frustration.

Overall, his feelings can be described as profoundly emotional and all-consuming.

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↬|Dazai|

He feels like a part of him is missing, a void. He feels like there's something important missing in his life.

He can't really function properly without you, he can't sleep well, he's distracted all the time and he's snapping even more to his subordinates. He is desperate to have you back in his arms.

As every day passed without you Dazai only grows more and more frustrated, he tried to distract himself from you by working, hanging out with oda's grave, sleeping or other things but nothing works.

He feels like a lost puppy without you, he can't really focus on anything. His mind drifts to you more often than usual, he has trouble focusing on his plans and he sometimes finds himself staring into the space thinking about you.

He craves for your presence, the feeling of your being next to him. He wants to hear your voice, to touch your soft skin, to run his fingers through your hair, to kiss the back of your neck, to hold your hand. To see your smile.

He yearns for you, for your love, for the feeling of your body against his, he just wants to hold you close and never let go.

Dazai absolutely craves the presence of you more than anything in the world, he hates being separated from you.

And when you are apart, he's unable to focus on anything else, his mind is constantly thinking about you, worrying if you're safe, if you're happy, if you're missing him as much as he misses you.

The pain of loneliness and missing his lover becomes excruciating, to the point where he can't even sleep, as he keeps thinking about you, wishing for your return.

He'll go to any length to see you again.

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↬|Akutagawa|

He'd probably not show any emotions about the fact that he can't have any contact or see his S/O.

He'd just bury it all deep inside but at night when he's laying wide awake he'd feel extremely lonely.

Whenever he's around other people he would sometimes catch himself thinking of his S/O and what he'd be doing if they were right next to him.

He probably can't get them out of his head, the thought of not being able to hold them or talk/see them always around.

He's frustrated, lonely, and sad, but he'd hide it all the time. The need to see them, to hold them, to see their smile and just to be near them fills up his mind a lot, it's hard to keep his thoughts away from them.

He probably also feels a bit jealous when he sees a couple being all lovey dovey, he probably just wishes it could be him and his s/o.

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↬|Chuuya|

Oh god. Chuuya would be absolutely heartbroken and miserable without his S/O. He literally wouldn't know what to do with himself without them.

He'd be a total mess at first, barely eating, not sleeping properly, refusing to do any work that didn't involve trying to get his S/O back, he'd be a complete shell of his usual self, only snapping out of it when he's in combat.

Chuuya wouldn't be able to function without his S/O; they’re like his source of comfort, like his entire world revolves around them, his whole existence is dependant on them.

He would be completely lost without them, his days would be endless nightmares and his nights would be sleeplessly tormenting.

He'd feel like drowning all the time, suffocating every single second that he can't be with them.

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↬|Tetchou|

Tetchou would want to see his s/o so badly. They’d be on his mind constantly.

He’d try to distract himself all he want, but the image of his s/o would stay and it would make his heart hurt in a way it never did before.

Everything about his s/o would be on his mind - their hair, their eyes, their smile...

Not having them there pained him, and he’d probably go far enough to drop almost anything to try and see them again.

He feels empty and lost without his s/o. It feels as if a big part of him is suddenly gone and he feels wrong, and he hates the feeling. It feels as if he won’t be complete again until his s/o is back, and it scares him how much of a hold his s/o has on him.

Even so, he doesn’t want to lose them again, and will do almost anything to make sure that will never happen.

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↬|Jouno|

After he and his s/o are separated, Jouno finds himself having a deep sense of longing and desperation to see them again.

He cannot focus on his duties or anything else in his life, his mind is solely focused on them.

He can't sleep at night, and his thoughts are constantly plagued by thoughts of his s/o.

He wants to hold them again or listen to their voice even just once, but because they're separated, he cannot do that. It's a constant torment to his emotional and mental state.

Jouno's feelings toward his s/o after they are separated are a mix of longing, desperation, and emotional torment.

These emotions plague him day and night, unable to focus on anything else. He cannot get any rest or sleep, and his thoughts are constantly filled with the need to see them again.

He craves their presence, and it's a constant struggle for him to cope with the fact that they're not within his reach. This loneliness eats away at him, but he still clings to any hope that they'll be reunited again.

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↬|Fyodor|

Would not be able to handle being separated from his S/O for far too long, since it would feel like a part of himself is gone.

Would find himself constantly wanting to see and be near his S/O, to feel their presence near him.

Would feel empty, missing and yearning for his S/O and would wish to be with them again.

Would be constantly worried about their S/O's safety, even if the S/O would be more than able to defend themselves in a fight.

Craves their presence and yearns for their touch Feels incredibly lonely and alone, as if a part of his life was suddenly ripped out from him.

Can't stop thinking about them, misses them terribly and can't stop himself from thinking "just a little more and I'll see them again." / "you know what? I'm the God. I don't need them! Right!...right?"

Can't stop himself from remembering all the moments he has spent with the person he loves, wanting to be with that person again and hold them in his arms.

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↬|Nikolai|

Nikolai would miss his s/o like hell. He would probably go insane after a small amount of time not seeing them or talking to them, and would be extremely clingy and desperate to get back to see or talk with his s/o after being separated from them for a while.

Nikolai would probably mope around a lot and do almost nothing without his s/o, his entire mood being reliant on them.

Nikolai doesn't deal with being alone very well. Nikolai's feelings about being separated from his s/o would be very intense.

He would feel incredibly lonely and miserable without them, like he's lost part of himself.

Nikolai would also feel very irritated and grumpy, lashing out at everyone around him.

Nikolai would be extremely clingy and desperate to see or talk to his s/o again, completely lost without them.

Nikolai would basically give anything to see or be able to talk to his s/o again even for a little while.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Sigma|

Sigma desperately longs for the day he can see his s/o again.

Every day he wakes up feeling a longing for them, a sense that a piece of his heart is missing.

He feels like he's drowning in a sea of anguish, and just to see their face, to touch their hand, would be a lifeline for him.

He is haunted by memories of them, of their voice, their touch, and it's like an endless torment, knowing that he might never see them again. Every moment spent apart is torture for him.

He feels like he can't breathe properly anymore without the. in his life. He can't focus, can't rest, each day feels endless and hopeless.

Every time he looks in the mirror, he sees a broken person staring back at him, someone who is lost without them, and it's like a stab to his heart, every single time.

He feels like he's a shell of his former self, and the only thing that could fix him, the only thing that could make him feel whole again, is then.

He's drowning in a sea of despair, and they're the only one who can save him.

||[🅄rge]||

━●━━━━━━────────

     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🅃ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🅅▷ㅤㅤ↻

[aliceig]

How much y’all wanna bet that the REAL reason Jouno hates Tecchou is because Tecchou wholeheartedly believes in the goodness of him and he represents pure justice, something Jouno doesn’t know if he can achieve.

[akutasoda]

Hi! It's nice to meet you, I read though your works for a while now and saw how good they are.

I was wondering if I could request something with the hunting dogs(platonic teruko)

We the reader was there significant other/friend and died right after committing a very violent crime.

So the hunting dogs go on for years thinking that there friend/significant other was a criminal until many years later they find out that the reader died so that they wouldn't get framed with a crime.

So basically the reader died to protect them. And took being framed with a very serious crime so the hunting dogs wouldn't.

Thank you for your time and if this is to big of a request that's okay.

Have a good day!

time's long lost mistake

synopsis - for ages they never understood what drove you to do something that permanently stained your reputation, but they find out that's not the real story

includes - tachihara, jouno, tecchou, teruko

warnings - gn!reader, angst, reader dies, slight hints to blackmail, wc - 1.7k

a/n: hello! its nice to meet you to! no request is to big it just means ill take a bit longer haha - hope your having a nice day aswell!

michizō tachihara ★↷

tachihara had been through quite a bit. despite him being apart of a undercover mission in the port mafia he had never really committed a crime that would make him reap the consequences. but one thing he constantly worried about was that you may be caught up in any crossfire - port mafia or hunting dog.

being associated with both of these meant even more of a risk for you. but you knew what you were getting in to - he had told you many, many times. you had no doubt that you two could make it work and so did he. but now he wishes that maybe you both were a but more cautious.

wether the threat was from his undercover affiliation with the port mafia or because of his title as a hunting dog, you had no idea but one thing was for certain. if you did not take the fall, your lover surely would reap more consequences than you ever could imagine. you were made quite aware to the fact that there was no way out of this and that was fine. your mind was sealed on your decision.

tachihara had never thought something like this would be capable - let alone you but here he was, faced with the news of your untimely demise following the crime that seemed near impossible for someone to commit. he was near outraged, not to you, but to himself for not seeing any signs or letting you do this but now in your final resting you were branded a criminal. and yet he felt deep down as if something was off.

and it seemed his gut feeling was correct. for years he had gone on bearing the news of your demise and some part of him always felt mad when he had heard others talking bad about you and your end. but all of a sudden, like a sudden clarity, he was informed by a conspicuous individual who had presented him with clear as day evidence. evidence that could clear your name.

but now he felt even more outraged, he had let his job affect your life and caused you to die protecting him. he wished dearly that you had talked to him about it and not go along with it immediately to protect him. but it was too late for that now. now all he could do was try and bring peace to your final resting and clear your name.

saigiku jouno ★↷

jouno was always very hesitant to begin a relationship. not that he didn't want to, he loved you dearly and wanted nothing else but to be with you, but because he wanted to be with you that he feared that you would be used against him. being a hunting dog came with risks and the last thing he would want is to put you in danger.

however he eventually became confident enough to begin that relationship. trusting taht you both would be strong enough to protect not only each other but the relationship itself. the risks were well understood and much discussed before and during the relationship, he didn't want it to seem overbearing but he had to get his worries across.

however no amount of warnings could've prepared you for the decision that you were about to make. the decision if either sacrificing yourself or letting not only your liver be framed but the entirety of the hunting dogs. you wished you could've discussed it with him but time was short and you had decided the consequences of letting your liver be framed would be much worse than what you would face.

upon hearing the news, the only way jouno could describe the way he felt was betrayal. betrayal of the fact that he did not believe you could do something like that and betrayal that you had never been honest with him. he became rather quiet after. he was lost in honesty. not only had he lost you but it had left him to question things he normally wouldn't.

for years he had gone on feeling a multitude of emotions and becoming rather reclusive. that was until he was presented with quite the comically suspicious envelope. contents, that upon reading, made him realise that all this time he had doubted you. now he could feel the shame creeping up on him. why did he ever doubt you? of course you wouldn't do something like that.

and in fact he felt sympathy even more, for you. for the fact that he understood the situation you were placed in and no matter how much he wished things went differently he could do nothing to change the past. all he could do was bring peace to your reputation and get revenge in his own personal way.

tecchou suehiro ★↷

tecchou was a firm believer in justice, that was laid in no doubt. however there was one person that could rival his faith in justice. and that person was you, the person who stood by his side thick and thin. the person that understood the risks associated with dating a hunting dog and still chose to be with him. oh he wished he could of made you take back that choice.

the risks that hung over your head were a constant reminder for the reality of who you were dating. but you never minded in the slightest. you loved him and nothing could deter you from being with him. but fate did not see it that way. fate saw it fit to adminish a cruel change.

you had knew all too well the consequences of the action you were about to take. but to you, you hadn't seen it as the matter of the hunting dogs reputation or yours - but more as your beloved boyfriends reputation or yours. and you were more than willing to sacrifice yourself for him. the news had hit him like nothing he had ever felt before. he was in disbelief, how could you do something of that level and let alone die without explaining yourself to him - scratch that, how did he not see this happening.

he went on for years with the restraints your death placed upon him. he was disappointed in himself for not being there to protect you from your fate. constantly questioning the one thing he never even batted an eye at - justice. surely justice ment more than you losing your life for one crime (a rather violent one but that didn't add up for him). and even so he never felt as of he could be mad at you. he could never even dream of being mad at you.

clarity came in the form of a brown, conspicuous envelope that was laid in the middle of his residence with no recollection of how it could've gotten there. engraved upon it read 'justice for your loved one'. did he find it suspicious? yes. did he still open it? yes.

upon reading the contents, he felt as if he had lost control of his body, the envelope and its contents falling with a dull thud as he tried to process the information contained. but, however, it made everything click into place for him. inside contained documents of information passed between you and a classified individual. information that lead to you taking the fall to spare the hunting dogs of being framed for the crime you ultimately were framed with. a crime that no doubt would of lead to the disbanding of the hunting dogs.

justice was cruel. and what was even crueler was the fate of the fact that he bore for these past years. all this time he had been led to believe you truly had committed these crimes of your own volition, that he had doubted your innocence. but now he had learnt the truth and he had two options. to continue on knowing that everyone else hated you for what you did or to spread the truth and avenge your name and bribg peace to your final resting. a final will to justice.

ōkura teruko ★↷

teruko had two people that she truly admired in her life. the commander and you. she truly looked up to you in a way siblings would and you reciprocated the feeling just the same. she never really gave a thought into what being associated with her meant for you, she had occasionally but she had come to the conclusion that the both of you were perfectly strong enough to protect each other.

you however had thought more about the risks, but they quickly were oberlooked. you understood them yes, but the last thing you wanted to do was to just leave teruko. you two had made a silly child like promise to always look out for each other. and sometimes, now, she thought she could've honoured that a bit more.

she spent alot of time blocking out the noise of people telling her what happened or even just talking about it, mind spiralling into thought after thought about what could've driven you to commit such a crime. she lived in denial, no there's no way you could or would do anything like that, is what she told herself over and over again to block out the noises or glaring at those that sttill spoke ill of your name. fellow hunting dogs could only look upon her in pity.

that was until she received a few files. files detailing conversations - more like threats - sent to her that were intercepted by you. she stared at the words in disbelief. you had taken the fall for her, you had prevented her from being framed. but at a cost she didn't seem fit. while it brought her some clarity, knowing that your name could be cleared and hopefully grant you honour in death, she was unhappy that it was because of her that lead you to that fate.

many people tried telling her that it wasn't her fault entirely but she couldn't help but harbour the guilt of knowing that if she had distanced herself from you, you would be alive and well. but the more that she thought about it, the more she started realising that you took her silly idea of being found siblings and forever protecting each other a bit to serious and she admired you for that.

[miammey]

Don’t be foolish

[jounosparticles]

jouno is honestly such a tragic character. the person that claimed he could become good and taught him to see the light in the world really just wanted to use him. and then essentially killed him because he did actually change.

he’s going to come back thinking that not even his coworkers believed he could free himself of what he did in the past. that makes me so sad.

[cloudyyoimiya]

hello cloud i am once again here in need of your beautiful work (/o_o)/. may i please rq fyodor (+ any others you’d like) with a reader who’s just killed somebody? but with it being the readers first time, they’re visibly panicking over blood on their hands. how would the bsd character act? it’d be cool if the somebody was a person they needed to get rid of too hehe just think about how’d they’d manipulate reader that it was necessary.;

omg krei hello again!! i’m so happy you’re in my inbox! i rlly love this request sm. when i first saw it the other day i couldn’t stop thinking about it. it scratched just the right itch in my brain for some reason. thank you for requesting!

Their S/o Kills Someone For the First Time; Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Saigiku Jouno

Format: Scenarios

Possible warnings: Angst, mentions of death, blood, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, mentions of vomiting

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

You stared at your hands, covered in blood. Your whole body started to shake as you fell to your knees. You just killed someone in cold blood—in front of your boyfriend nonetheless. You felt nauseous as you continued to stare at your bloodied hands. You hated it. You couldn’t breathe. You wanted this to end.

The mission you were sent on didn’t entail you killing anyone today! You were just supposed to grab some information sneakily and escape; it was supposed to be simple. But you somehow managed to get caught by one guard, and you were forced to fight them to the death.

You wanted to leave them incapacitated and not shed any unnecessary blood, but that was too much to ask for in the current situation. You shot them through the stomach, slowly watching their life drain from their body as they fell to the ground. Eventually they went limp and that’s when reality crashed onto you.

Your breath started to quicken as you felt Fyodor put his hand on your shoulder. The contact gave you very little comfort, but you appreciated the act of “kindness” nonetheless.

“Are you alright?” He asked, sounding unaffected by the current situation.

You shook your head frantically. You tried to verbally respond to your boyfriend, but the words just wouldn’t come out. They seemed to be caught on your tongue, not wanting to escape.

Fyodor sighed. “You did what was needed to be done. You had to kill them.”

You shook your head. “No! I could’ve just knocked them out! I—”

“(Name),” he said in a firm tone. You physically tensed up. “You killing that person was necessary. You had to do it for your own survival.”

You gulped as tears started to fall down your cheeks. You felt disgusting.

“You’re wrong!”

Fyodor’s grip on your shoulder tightened as he looked down at you. He seemed disappointed, but yet at the same time he had a smirk on his face. It made your stomach turn. You knew he had something on his mind; manipulating you was the most plausible answer.

“I’m never wrong. You should know that already,” he said, keeping his voice low. He then bent down and whispered in your ear. “We need to leave now, unless you wish to kill more guards. Do you want that? Do you want even more blood on your hands?”

“No, I don’t want that!” You said frantically.

Fyodor hummed. “Then get up and let’s leave,” he said coldly.

You shakily stood up. You body felt like it would collapse at any minute from the amount of trauma you have just experienced. It was sickening.

Fyodor roughly grabbed your arm and started to lead you outside. “Let’s go.”

You silently followed him, not wanting to speak and somehow manage to anger your boyfriend. You knew that more often than not he had your best interests in mind, but it very rarely came across that way. In moments like this he was cold; it made you shiver.

Eventually the two of you made it back to your shared apartment. You locked yourself in your bathroom, holding your head over the toilet. You didn’t wash your hands yet, so as you gripped the toilet bowl, the guards blood stained it. The white was eventually going to turn into a soft pink because of this.

Fyodor just stood in the doorway watching you. Not a single word left his mouth as you felt like you were going to vomit up your breakfast.

After a while, Fyodor spoke up. You could tell that he was forcing himself to sound kind. “Are you alright?”

You shook your head. “No.”

“I see… Well, this reaction to killing someone is completely normal. You did just take a life after all. They probably had a family and what have you,” he paused for a moment. “Everything will be fine, my dear. Trust me.”

Saigiku Jouno

Today you were out on patrol with Jouno. You were the newest member of the Hunting Dogs, so you often had to join older members on their duties. Sometimes it annoyed you because you knew that you could defend yourself, but who were you to question your superiors?

A while ago Jouno heard a robbery occurring, and he sent you to deal with it. You caught up with the robber rather easily, but they didn’t want to surrender. They then pulled a gun on you, shot at you, and then you were forced to strike them down with your saber.

Currently you were in an alleyway, your palms up against a nearby brick wall. You looked down at your boots, the enemy’s blood slightly coating them. Your breathing slowly started to become shallow. You could your rapid heartbeat in your ears. It hurt. It pained you. You despised it with your whole being.

You had stabbed the robber through the chest since it was apparent that they wouldn’t allow themselves to get arrested. You were scared because you were supposed to work on the right side of the law—prevent murders from happening, but you did the opposite. You had just killed that person in cold blood.

You could hear faint footsteps coming from behind you. You knew it was Jouno, but yet you didn’t turn back to look at him. You knew he was going to scold you.

“Did you do this?” He eventually asked. “You do know how I hate the scent of blood and corpses, right?”

“Sorry,” you said shakily. “I didn’t mean too… They just tried to kill me and… I had to!”

You glanced back at Jouno as he put his right hand on his chin. He wore an unreadable expression, and it scared you. You’ve been warned that he has sadistic tendencies, but you never thought that you’d find yourself in a situation where you’d be on the receiving end of his actions.

“You couldn’t just disarm them?” He asked sarcastically.

“I couldn’t find an opening!”

You cupped your hand over your mouth. You felt like you were going to throw up. Tears slowly dripped down your cheeks as you thought of what had just transpired between you and the robber. Your thoughts started to drift off to thinking about your already terrible sleep schedule. You knew that you’d have nightmares about this for a few weeks.

Jouno hummed. “Was this your first time taking a life?”

“…Yes.”

“It shows. Now pick yourself up and let’s get going,” he said coldly. “Do you want to stay and see the corpse slowly rot?”

Your breath hitched for a moment. The thought of watching the criminal slowly decay made you feel sick.

“No sir,” you answered.

He nodded. “Then let’s get going.”

Jouno turned to leave without a second thought. You knew that he cared very little about the people below him, but it was still a punch in the gut nonetheless. You wanted him to comfort you, but you knew he wouldn’t do that. That’s too kind of him.

You walked behind him quietly. You then started to speak, your voice still shaking. “What are we gonna do with the corpse? Will it be picked up?”

Jouno turned his head back at you for a moment before answering. “Be quiet, will you? Calm yourself down. You’re still panicking.”

In a strange way those words provided a small sense of comfort.

“Yes sir.”

He groaned. “How many times have I just told you to call me Jouno? Or is that too much to ask of your pea brain?”

[spacexseven]

to let a good deed go unpunished

NOTE: for the anime-only's, there may be a few spoilers about tecchou below, so please keep that in mind. i and Hopefully this isn't too ooc lol :< still waiting for more tecchou content ^^ i'm spelling his name as tecchou here, instead of tetchō :>

REQUEST: general y! tecchou headcanons from @shumidehiro

CW: yandere character, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, obsession, jealousy, stalking

- an encounter with tecchou is an opportunity that is hard to come by outside of his work, since he's more devoted to his duty of upholding justice more than anything

- that's not to say it's impossible. besides, as long as he recognizes you share the same values as him, you'd easily make an impression on him, even if you didn't plan to do so

- due to tecchou's nature, he easily focuses on things that pique his curiosity or admiration. he can spend hours watching you display your sense of justice or leadership (much like the ants he watched without moving)

- while tecchou can be either a platonic or romantic yandere, his overall intentions are the same. he wants to protect you from the cruel, imbalanced world he's used to. he knows your beliefs can change in a moment once you realize the true nature of people, and doesn't want that to happen

- tecchou doesn't like lying to you or deceiving you. he's an honest person by nature and hates using force or mind games to get you to do something. since he believes sincere discussion is the best way to ease tensions, arguments with tecchou never get out of hand - most of the time he's not able to pick up on what you're feeling, nor does he stop to consider how you're affected as a consequence of his actions. in fact, he's surprised to know that you actually feel more paranoid than safe because of his constant surveillance - because unfortunately, as you'll quickly realize, tecchou genuinely believes his actions are helping you. you may be upset at his rigid rules but he only wants to protect you - he thinks you don't understand that his actions come from a place of good intentions, so while he's ready to hear out your concerns, it's impossible to get him to change his ways when they're so rooted in his personal values, and so he'll keep justifying his own actions to you. - tecchou feels responsible for protecting you from the evil intent of anyone else. due to this, he indirectly restricts your social circle so that all your friends are all either in the hunting dogs or involved with them in some way

- tecchou doesn't ever toy with you or harm you. however, that's not to say he won't hurt others...

- he revels in his ability to make any potential target tremble in fear from just his glare. and even if they don't back down from that, he has an array of methods to silence anyone who dares come in his way

- while tecchou doesn't consider himself violent, he's willing to dirty his hands to protect you. but at first, he doesn't actually consider hiding it from you

- it's likely a hunting dog member (jouno) would be the one to advise him about keeping it a secret. jouno's the one who explains to him that even if he was protecting you from who he deemed as 'evildoers', you'd probably not appreciate the sentiment

- in fact, you'd likely be horrified at the thought that tecchou would be so cruel as to harm someone who only wanted to talk to you. you could only justify tecchou's actions if you believed he was only truly apprehending criminals, which is ultimately why he makes sure you never catch him hurting someone else

- he doesn't want you to lose your trust in him, which is why kidnapping and imprisonment are also not in tecchou's plans; not unless he absolutely has no other choice. he fights off the evil from your shadow, and ensures that you are none the wiser

(softer hcs below that i felt didnt match with the rest)

- tecchou's not used to physical affection, but will quickly adapt to your preference. since he's physically a lot stronger than a regular person due to his modifications, it'll take him a while to figure out if he's holding you too tight or if he's hurting you

- he'll be happy if you want to join him while he's working out. whether you want to help out, watch or try working out alongside him, he'll appreciate the company

[win-writes]

𝙑𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚'𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩

⋆ ━━━━━ ｡ﾟ 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵? ｡ﾟ

・‥… Please read my rules beforehand ♡

・‥… Pick any bungou stray dogs character you'd like

・‥… Choose your favorite chocolate from the list below

・‥… Add a prompt of your choice (limit up to 2) and you're ready to request!!

▸ ┈┈┈┈ Example; ranpo + white chocolate 6 + milk chocolate 3

⋆ ━━━━━ ｡ﾟ 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 ｡ﾟ

・‥… Status; CLOSED!!

𓏲 𓏧 White chocolate (fluff)

1. "Your hands are so soft" 2. "Maybe some kisses will help" 3. "No don't leave yet, let's stay like this for a little longer" 4. "Being loved by you is the greatest blessing I could ever wish for" 5. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" 6. "Are you gonna kiss me or will you just keep staring at me?" 7. "I don't care who sees us, can I please just get a kiss?" 8. "Do you want me to hold your hand?" 9. "You look adorable in my clothes" 10. "I could never imagine myself being so in love with anyone but you"

𓏲 𓏧 Milk chocolate (angst)

1. "How long do you intent to keep ignoring me?" 2. "I feel like I don't know you anymore" 3. "Please don't give up on me" 4. "It's pointless to keep trying, it's not meant for us to have a happy ending" 5. "I think it's time for you to leave" 6. "Do you think I wanted to love you?" 7. "Was it that easy for you to move on?" 8. "Don't apologize, i know you can't force your heart to love me" 9. "Please stop making my heart ache like this, you know i can't do this" 10. "I miss us don't you get it? Every day I spenδ without you feels like i'm in hell"

NOTE: if you want your angst prompt to end with fluff, please let me know when requesting ♡

𓏲 𓏧 Dark chocolate (smut)

1. "Don't you dare take your eyes off me" 2. "Beg for it" 3. "Oh how I missed tasting you on my tongue like this" 4. "Come on baby, I know you can take it" 5. "Please stop teasing me and touch me already" 6. "Did I give you permission to speak?" 7. "Shh... We don't wanna get caught now, do we?" 8. "I swear I'll be good next time, please let me cum" 9. "You better be ready for your punishment when we get home" 10. " Don't be shy angel, scream my name and let everyone know you're mine"

[iovetecchou]

If I Can't Have You... ⧸ Jouno Saigiku

༞ Part 1.

༞ Contains...! angst, dark themes, detailed descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, gaslighting, mind-breaking, slight!physical abuse, very toxic relationship, asshole!jouno, just absolute pain and suffering. use of pet names (darling, princess)

༞ GN Reader.

༞ 1,557 words.

Everything after that fateful encounter with Jouno was a blur. You have no idea how you even made it back to your shared apartment in one piece. His venom-laced words rang through your mind— over and over again.

You were in shock. This whole time you were nothing but an “Easy fuck.” to Jouno. The man you loved more than yourself. The man who took over your every thought, every action, every semblance of happiness.

You gave everything up for him, and for what? All you could focus on was the ringing of your heartbeat in your ears. Your fingertips going numb from all the anxiety coursing through your body.

“Ah… it’s six already? I need to start making dinner.”

You thought out loud. Your body moving on its own, as though you weren’t controlling your actions. Even now, Jouno held the strings. Present or not… he owned you.

Your brain couldn’t possibly comprehend that this was your reality. All that echoed in your mind was,

“If you so much as think of leaving me… I will know, and I will kill you.”

You knew you were screwed. Even if you began packing your things now, leaving and never looking back. Jouno would find you; and kill you. As promised.

Your mind played out constant scenarios of how you could escape and run away without a trace. But it was futile; Jouno would use everything in his arsenal to hunt you down.

Tears blinded your vision as you continued to prepare supper. Your shaky hands placing two plates atop the dining room table; an act that once brought a smile to your face now tainted.

Meals always brought you two together. You always valued those times spent with Jouno. Laughing over stories about his ‘idiotic’ colleagues from the day as his lips curled up into a soft smile. Complimenting you on your meal, telling you, “No one could compare.”

So all of that was a show? Just an act he maintained to keep you complacent? Did all of your cherished moments truly mean nothing?

The door swung open just as you finished up. Causing fear to course through your entire being. You froze as Jouno's words rang through your shared apartment.

“Princess, I’m home! I knew that divine smell from the hallway was coming from our place. Nothing compares to your cooking, darling.”

You physically could not speak. The words were trapped in your throat as you turned to face Jouno. He was smiling sweetly your way, walking over toward the table and taking his seat.

“Well? Aren’t you going to give me a kiss hello? I did just get home from a hard day of work, you know.”

Why was he acting as though nothing was wrong? You were more than certain that everything that went down today was real… right?

“O-Oh… right, I’m sorry.”

You managed to squeak out. Shaky legs made their way toward an awaiting Jouno. You placed your clammy hand atop the table for support. Leaning in closely toward him, even though every fiber of your being was screaming at you to pull away.

The second your lips captured his, you felt sick. No longer did his embrace feel safe; quite the opposite. Jouno smirked within the kiss at your physical reaction. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, your body trembling in place.

You pulled back as fast as you could. Noticing the lipstick stains on Jouno's collar as you stood upright. You felt nauseous, your stomach turning in knots from the sight alone.

"What's wrong, princess? You seem shaken up."

Jouno quirked a brow, reaching a hand out to soothe your hip. You took a quick step back, dodging his embrace completely. Jouno looked stunned for a split second before his expression twisted into something sinister.

His lips were curved into a nasty frown, eyebrows knitted where they lay. Jouno's whole expression became shaded, and his body became tense too. Your eyes widened as you watched his hands ball into fists from where they rested beside him.

"Oh… so there is a problem then, hm?"

His voice was razor sharp, not even a trace of Jouno's usual witty tone could be found. All you could do was shake your head in disagreement as you took a few more steps backward. Startling yourself as the cold countertop grazed your lower back.

Jouno rose to his feet slowly, making his way to stand before you. He towered over you, his hand grasped your chin firmly. Tugging your face up toward his own before he spoke up once more. "What… did you go mute? Use your fucking words."

"Yes..?"

His fingers dug into your cheeks as he forcefully shook your head in agreement. Pulling a small yelp from your lips.

Jouno smirked at your painful cry, making your heart ache even further. You scored your bottom lip with your teeth, not letting him get that gratification off your pain again today.

"Or no..?"

His grip got even harsher as he shook your head in disagreement this time. A shit-eating grin etched into his features, immensely enjoying the way you shook in his grasp.

To say you were fed up at this point was an understatement. Your fear subsided for a moment, being replaced by rage. You brought your hands up to grasp Jouno's hand. Yanking his digits away from your face and pushing him backward with everything you had in you.

"Of course— yes! There's a fucking problem. Why are you acting like nothing happened today? I walked in on you practically fucking another person— and you told me if I try to leave, you'll kill me. So of course there's a fucking problem, darling."

Jouno's smirk only grew wider at your words. His maniacal laughter filled the room, fueling your irritation even further.

"What? What's so fucking funny, Sai? Hm..? Tell me, was all of this— our whole relationship just a cruel joke to you? I gave up everything for you, everything. My family, friends— hell, I gave my whole life for you! And all you can do is fucking laugh in my face?"

His laughter only picked up the more you spoke. His hands grasped the edge of the dining table as he leaned back for support. Throwing his head back, reveling in his own amusement.

You couldn't think clearly. Your whole world was turned upside down in less than twenty-four hours. The person you loved more than anything was now nothing more than a stranger to you. But the worst part of it all; was that you still loved him— at least, a specific version of him. The one he showed to you, and you alone.

You reached out to him, balling the front of his uniform in your fists. You shook Jouno with all your might. Tears of frustration rolled down your cheeks as you cried out,

"Stop laughing— stop fucking laughing! I hate you, I fucking hate you…"

"No… you don't, princess. And we both know it. I bet the day I asked you to be mine was the greatest day of your life, hm? But to me… it was just another Friday. It meant nothing to me— you mean nothing to me. Accept that this is your life now, Y/N."

His words rattled through your whole being. Cutting you up from the inside out. Jouno was right… that was the happiest day of your life.

Was it so wrong of you to assume he felt the same way? That your relationship, the time you spent together, held any comprehensible significance to him?

You were too exhausted to fight with him further. Too shocked to even process that this was your life now. In that moment of realization, you didn't feel anything anymore. The tears still flowed freely, blurring your vision; but you couldn't care less.

"Accept that this is your life now, Y/N."

"This is your life now, Y/N."

Those words played through your mind like a record that endlessly skipped. You knew you couldn't escape; Jouno would kill you. Your family had no clue where you were and you didn't have friends anymore.

This was the end of the line for you. So were you going to accept it, or fight it?

Your body froze; your hands released the front of Jouno's uniform and went limp at your sides.

All of a sudden, your head snapped up. Jouno listened to your every move, trying to anticipate how you would react next.

"Darling, your dinner is getting cold. Why don't we eat before it all goes bad, hm?"

Your voice was eerily calm as you walked around the table. Making up his plate; as if nothing was awry. Jouno couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past his lips as he took his seat.

He didn't say a word, simply just honing in on your reactions. Sensing for anything out of place, he couldn't find such things. Your heartbeat was regular, body temperature was back to normal. And he couldn't hear any wavering in your voice.

He had broken you; completely. There was no fight, no drive left inside you. All that was left was a shell of the person you once were. An altered version of yourself, one that Jouno molded you to be.

"Same time tomorrow for dinner, Sai?"

"Indeed, same time tomorrow."

[sickficideas]

Hear me out, HEADCANON.

Jouno has a weird…thing. It’s like dissociation but not in a way. He calls it Autopilot.

Basically, Autopilot is what Jouno calls his dissociation or his “routine”, basically stuff that he used to do in the mafia was that psychological compounded into him and never really left. When he’s on Autopilot, Saigiku Jouno is gone. He’s barely in his head, all that remains his a mission oriented, cold, armed and always dangerous, analytical killing machine the mafia raised.

Yes, in my eyes, Jouno was an executive as a well as an assassin. And he was damn good at his job.

There’s different levels of episodes Jouno has; first is a simple panic attack, he can be calmed down. Second, he’s more irrational, moody, aggressive, like the literal air humidity upsets this man. Then we have number three, assassin mode, don’t do anything stupid or he’s gonna think you’re a target and try to kill you, and fourth…keep your distance at all costs.

Like the first time Jouno went on Autopilot and was on Level Four; Tachihara ended up with a broken arm, somehow his ass managed to throw Fukuchi through some glass, everyone is wondering if he was planning a betrayal or not.

And Teruko is the only one who manages to pin him down and try to control him just a little bit and ends up getting something smashed over her head.

Like I feel Tecchou would be the one to connect the dots too. Like, he was in war, he knows the signs of PTSD since most of the Hunting Dogs have it and he would be able to recognize Jouno was having a major episode over PTSD from the mafia.

ohhhh this is very interesting!!! I've never considered the idea of Jouno being ex-mafia but it could be possible ....I really like the bit about Teruko being the only one with a chance to pin him down especially!! Jouno with major PTSD like this would be super interesting I do really hope we get more of their pasts explored I love the Hunting Dogs so much

[shall-we-die]

╔‌‌‌‌•°💧༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚

{Crying}

How would they make you cry?

╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻🎭༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡

↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo Stray Dogs}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0052}┈─╮

╭──────┈┈┈┈┈───────╯

╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

╚•°💧༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚‌‌‌

↬| By saying hurtful words during an argument, or being cold and not showing emotions, sometimes even insulting you when they are too angry |:

Akutagawa || Fyodor || Jouno

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬| Sometimes they seem to forget you, as if you don't exist in their lives. They get so engrossed in their lives and plans that they may not visit you for a long time |:

Dazai || Tetchou || Nikolai

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬| They never like to see you cry. Your cries are like a dagger in their soul. However, if you find a reason to cry, they will do their best to comfort you |:

Atsushi || Chuuya || Sigma

||[🄲rying]||

━●━━━━━━────────

     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄱ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄳▷ㅤㅤ↻

[ilylmwwifys]

ー𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 [𝟐]

ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴᴛ ʜᴀɴᴅʟᴇ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ, ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ"

JOUNO X READER (can be female, or male Whichever you prefer)

PART 2 (go read part 1 of you want to)

@jounosproperty

WARNING : cringe, bad grammar, quite confusing (this was hurried)

-

I was going to like upload this awhile ago, but I ended up on a shopping appー putting hair care product on my carts💔

You sleepily arrived at your house, tears still forming in your eyes. You were tired, too tired to be honestー How could he say that? You tried to help him and yet he spout nonsense things to you that affected you badly.

You closed the door as you walked inside your roomー tears spilling from your eyes, you collapsed at your bed, sheets getting dampned because of your tears.

You sobbed recalling what you did wrong to make him snapped at you - which you cried even harder.

You think of the things you spend with himー cuddling, laughing, smillingーall were things that you've cherished, soー why would he snap at you? There were only few arguments, you guys mostly argues about worksー but it wasn't serious or anything dangerous at all, he would even tried to reassure you that things would go fine after the arguments, butー this time why didn't he? Did he even truly loved you? Obviously he did! Right?

Bawling, your thoughts soon got pulled when you heard a loud noise, it was your phone- ringing.

Not bothering too look at to know who's it from, you already knew it was Jouno, deciding to ignore itー as the sound still continue, your phone vibrating non-stop.

How many days was it? 3 daysー no, it's been weeks, 4 weeks to be specific. He didn't even bothered to visit you, heck, he stopped calling you that night.

Was he really giving up that easily? Those times, moments you spend together, didn't he even bothered to think of that? Was he really an asshole?

Yes, yes he is.

He would give you up, hell, he would even sacrifice you for the world! That's what he is, a cruel, manipulative, sadistic person he is.

You knew this, and still dated him, you knew what you was risking when you decided to date him.

[aeshiiteiru]

The Hunting Dogs.

🧩— Drabbles 🍵— Requests 🌿— Headcanons

🌵— Smut 🌱— Angst 🍀— Fluff 🍃— Crack

Michizou Tachihara

➪ nothing yet.

Saigiku Jouno

➪ nothing yet.

Tetchou Suehiro

➪ [🌿🍀]Give me a kiss, love.

(Tetchou kissing headcannons)

➪ [🍵🍃] My Peach!

(s/o slaps their butt ft. O. Dazai, N. Chuuya, S. Tetchou)

➪ [🍵🌱🍀🍃] ...My Flags?

(Their green, red and beige flags ft. O. Dazai, N. Chuuya, S. Tetchou)

Copyright © 2023 Aeshiiteiru.