#josh a single mother with 3 jobs

[gnabried]

it is so funny how they had to put joshua as a defender bc the whole defense line is so bad

[wonusite]

Crossing Boundaries

❝ Seungcheol has always demanded that all of his employees keep professional boundaries, but it frustrates him that his son’s nanny is a little too good at keeping things professional. ❞

pairing: choi seungcheol x female reader

genre: single dad au, nanny au, fluff, smut

word count: 8.6k

warnings: dilf!cheol, ceo!cheol, nanny!reader, imbalance of power, a brief mention of death, mutual pining (a copious amount of it), jealousy, seungcheol is down horrendous, daddy kink, breeding kink, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, squirting, multiple creampies, overstimulation, cockwarming

a/n: will never get over this concept. huge shout out to dilf cheol nonny for fueling my muse and helping make this happen. based off this request. minors dni!

There were three basic rules when it came to working for Choi Seungcheol:

1. Be on time.

2. Be efficient.

3. Maintain professional boundaries.

The rules were simple enough, but you quickly learned that there was nothing simple about them. Seungcheol was nothing if not a strict man. He demanded excellence, and anyone who didn’t live up to his rigorous standards ended up fired. Any person who managed to keep their job for a month could keep a job anywhere. At least, that’s what his entire staff seemed to think.

They weren’t exactly wrong. His standards were impossibly high, and he left little to no room for any error. It’s the very reason why Seungcheol had gone through five nannies before you, each worse than the last, according to him.

Because of this daunting fact, you’ve been very careful to never fall bellow his expectations. All the meticulous routines you made for yourself became like second nature within the first month, and it’s what kept your job secure for the last four years.

In all that time you had managed to follow the rules, but that didn’t mean it was easy. Especially since you came to absolutely adore the six-year-old boy that you were hired to take care of. Choi Taehyun was the cutest and most endearing kid you’d ever met. As soon as you met him, he had wedged his way into your heart and secured a permanent place for himself there.

The overt fondness you felt proved to be dangerous because from the very beginning, Seungcheol was adamant that you never overstep your duties as a nanny. It was his way of saying you’re not his mother so never try to act like you are. According to Josh (his assistant and the person who helped you get the job), your boss only acted this way because he still hadn't fully overcame his wife’s death. You could understand his pain which is why you were always careful not to do anything that could be seen as crossing the line.

But now, as you’re looking at Taehyun’s tear-filled eyes, all the professionalism you’ve had so far just seems to evaporate from your body. His bottom lip is trembling as he tries his hardest to muffle the whimpers and sobs at the edge of his throat. A concerned frown tugs your lips down when you go to gently wipe his fallen tears.

“Tae, what’s wrong?” You ask, feeling like someone is squeezing your heart painfully.

“Daddy’s not going to watch my play.”

The aforementioned play was something Taehyun and his entire class had been working on for about a month. He was extremely excited about it because he was assigned one of the main roles.

“It’s not fair.” Taehyun cries softly, clinging to your hands that were gently wiping his cheeks. “All my friends’ mommies and daddies are gonna watch.”

The discomfort in your chest grows as tears continue to spill from his eyes. All you can do is hug the little boy close to you in an effort to comfort him. He buries his wet face into your shoulder, clinging on to you like he never wants to let you go.

“I’m sorry, baby. You know your daddy would watch you if he could. I know he’s just as sad as you are that he can’t be there.” You rub gentles circles on his back, desperate to stop his tears from flowing.

Then, you say something you know your boss would definitely not approve of. “I know it’s not the same, but if you want, I can come watch you instead.”

Taehyun’s whimpers turn into soft sniffles as he pulls back to look at you. His eyes are still filled with tears, but now a hopeful look has taken over his gaze. “Really? You’ll come watch me?”

You realize that what you’re doing is literally bulldozing through the boundaries you’ve stayed within so far, but you would do just about anything for Choi Taehyun. There was no way you could let him be sad for another moment. So, you disregard the foreboding feeling in your gut and smile at the young boy.

“Of course I will.”

“Promise?” He’s looking at you with his huge doe eyes, pinky stuck out at you, wearing the most hopeful expression you’ve ever seen.

As Taehyun wraps his arms around you in joy, you contemplate whether or not it’s smart of you to let your emotions dictate your actions this way.

Meanwhile, your boss feels like he’s losing his mind.

As the CEO of a major conglomerate, he’s always been a level-headed, professional man. There isn’t a single thing that could make him lose his composure or make him get out of character.

This, however, doesn’t seem to apply whenever it involves his sweet, caring nanny.

Ever since you came into his life, things had changed drastically for him. You had unknowingly brightened his life in a way that he never thought was possible after his wife’s passing. Years hadn’t healed the pain, but for some reason your presence and actions had done what time couldn’t.

Seungcheol doesn’t realize the extent of his feelings until his personal assistant casually mentions that he was in the midst of arranging a date between you and the head of marketing, Jeon Wonwoo. A feeling that could only be described as rabid jealousy lights up in the pit of his stomach and expands up into his chest as Josh unwittingly goes on about how his subordinate is exactly your type.

“I don’t think that would be appropriate.” Seungcheol cuts in when Joshua says you agreed to go on this date after seeing a picture of Wonwoo. “When things don’t work out between them, it’ll bring tension into the office. The last thing I want is for either of them to feel uncomfortable.”

The way his boss said when and not if doesn’t go unnoticed.

Also, Seungcheol’s logic is seriously flawed. They both know it. In all the time you’ve worked as the CEO’s nanny, never once had you came to see him while he was working. You were annoyingly good at keeping boundaries and never overstepping. It never bothered him before, but now that he keeps thinking about it, it’s starting to.

Josh doesn’t comment on what’s blatantly obvious, mostly because he feels stupid for not realizing it sooner. It’s also clear that his boss is only barely coming to terms with his own feelings. Instead of rubbing salt in the wound, Josh is quick to assure Seungcheol that he won’t go forward with the setup before bringing his attention to his next schedule.

If only that would’ve helped him get his mind off of you.

Seungcheol is distracted during his meetings. These very large feelings are at the forefront of his mind, and they don’t fade in the slightest even as the day goes on. He starts to go over every time you’ve smiled at him in that sweet way you do. His heart jumps whenever he thinks back to those memories.

He can’t help but feel like an idiot for being so blind to his own feelings.

Things don’t feel the same when he goes home. When he finds you helping his son with his homework, all these feelings hit him at once. It’s almost funny how he never noticed the burning feeling in his chest. You’re so sweet and attentive and entirely focused on Taehyun that you don’t notice his presence. A tender smile takes over his face.

Briefly, Seungcheol thinks he wouldn’t mind coming home and seeing this lovely sight every day.

He only snaps out of his daydreams when you raise your head and stand up to greet him with a kind smile. “Mr. Choi. You’re back early.”

Seungcheol, he wants to say. Call me Seungcheol.

“Dad!”

He’s quickly distracted when he feels a small body collide with his legs. Seungcheol’s heart swells with affection as he bends down to pick up his son. Taehyun giggles happily as he wraps his small arms around his father’s neck.

Being so endeared by the sight of your boss hugging his son and peppering his little face with kisses isn’t anything new. It’s so cute that you can feel a goofy smile slowly form on your face. In the back of your mind, you know exactly why this overt fondness is clinging to your heart. But in this moment in time, you’re not willing to unpack the inappropriate feelings you have for your boss

Seungcheol doesn’t make it easy, though. For some reason he insists on helping you prepare dinner. He’s strangely eager, and you can’t really reject his offer to help. It’s both exciting and nerve-wracking to spend time with your sexy boss like this since he usually only talks to you about Taehyun.

You can’t take your eyes off Seungcheol as he rolls up his sleeves and puts on a spare apron. It’s unfair that he looks as good as he does, and you can barely keep your calm when he starts to wash the vegetables you bought in the morning. His actions feel so domestic and so sweet that you have to try your hardest to act like you’re not enjoying it as much as you are.

“I hope Taehyun didn’t wear you out too much.” Your boss says as you start to chop the freshly washed vegetables. “He’s had a lot of energy lately.”

“That’s normal for boys his age.” You say kindly. “And Taehyun’s very well-behaved, especially compared to kids his own age. You’ve raised him well, Mr. Choi.”

Seungcheol beams at the compliment, embracing the fluttering he feels in his torso and chest. Briefly, he thinks that you don’t give yourself enough credit. After all, you’ve helped raise his son more than anyone.

“In that case, I hope you can join us for dinner.”

His invitation shouldn’t make you feel the way it does. You swallow thickly, chopping movements slowing as you contemplate your answer. It’s not like you’ve never had dinner with the a father-son duo, but it was always on the insistence of Taehyun. But now that Seungcheol was the one asking, you didn’t know what to do.

Up until now, you had been very careful to not overstep the boundaries your boss had set in place by your boss, and you couldn’t understand why the same man who hated when people didn’t remain professional and respect his boundaries was asking you to do just that. Given that your big fat crush is extremely hard to hide, you’re sure that putting some distance between you two is the right thing to do.

But with the way Seungcheol’s shining eyes are imploringly staring at you, it’s hard to think of a reason to reject his invitation.

“Mr. Choi.” You say nervously as you two begin to set up the dinner table. “I... I have something to tell you.”

His gaze is intent, and you try to remain as calm as possible. “Since you won’t be able to attend Taehyun’s play, I’m going to watch him instead.”

“You?”

Your boss’s expression is unreadable, and you can’t tell what he’s thinking. Still, you soldier on and try to pretend you’re not as intimidated as you are.

“Yes. It’s something that’s important to me, and I hope you don’t mind me being there for him.”

If Seungcheol had any doubts about his feelings, he definitely didn’t now. To think that you would care so much about his son warms his heart and further cements what he already knew about you. He gives you a smile, heart bursting with affection. “I don’t mind at all. I’m glad you’ll be able to be there to watch my son.”

Honestly, Josh had managed to rework his schedule so he could see the play and surprise Taehyun, but surprising the both of you was good too.

Somehow, you manage to conceal the shock you feel. You didn’t think he would agree so easily, let alone be pleased with the idea. Instead of questioning it any further, you only thank the skies that he didn’t react angrily.

It’s hard to pretend that eating together doesn’t fill you with a copious amount of joy. Listening to Taehyun tell you all about how he can count higher than his best friend while you and Seungcheol praise him makes you feel like you’re part of their family. Maybe it’s wrong or even delusional, but you can’t help wanting to have this dynamic with them indefinitely.

“You’re leaving already?”

Taehyun is looking up at you with his large doe eyes, and you can’t help but break down a little on the inside at the disappointment they hold.

“I’ll be back tom—”

“Stay.” Seungcheol says, walking towards you. “I could really use your help putting this little monster to sleep.”

Ignoring the blatant domesticity of reading Taehyun a bedtime story together is near impossible. It gets even worse when your boss insists you stay until his son falls asleep. You almost feel like you’ve been dropped in an alternate universe when you’re ready to leave and your boss stops you again.

“Let me take you home.” Seungcheol says as you’re gathering your things. “Please.”

It’s not fair that he can seem so cute while saying this to you, and despite your better judgement, you say yes all while knowing that it’s not going to help you squash the onslaught of emotions in your chest.

Something was up with your boss.

You’re not sure why he was acting like he had gotten body snatched, but truthfully, you can’t say that you hate it. Having breakfast and dinner with him and Taehyun was something you loved more than you let show. This warm, mushy feeling always wrapped itself around you and clung on to you every time it happened despite it having become part of your routine.

The change is significant, and you can tell you’re not the only one who’s noticed. Josh had made a few teasing remarks, but never blatantly said what you knew he was thinking. (He was the first to know about your not-so-little crush on your boss so it wasn’t really surprising.) Of course, Taehyun had also noticed, although he was much more vocal about it.

“Dad, you always smile so big when all us eat together.”

The blush that dusts your boss’s cheeks is absolutely adorable, and you can barely keep a straight face when Seungcheol clears his throat to answer his son. “That’s because it makes me happy.”

It’s not fair that he can say something like that so casually and like it doesn’t literally make your entire heart pulse with affection. Somehow, you manage to keep all your feelings tampered down so they don’t show.

And for the most part it works. Until the day of Taehyun’s play, that is.

Seungcheol had assured you that supporting his son in his stead was definitely not crossing the line, but it was near impossible from feeling like that’s exactly what you were doing. It doesn’t help that you feel so out of place among the parents, either. To be fair, none of them were paying you any attention. You were just too in your head.

After fighting with your inexplicable anxiousness, you decided to just silently go to the auditorium without being noticed. This plan would’ve gone well if an unfamiliar voice hadn’t loudly called out your full government name, drawing the attention of many of the gathered parents. A woman who you recognized to be the principal’s wife approaches you with a tight-lipped smile.

Mrs. Ren looks you up and down, the condescending smile on her face widening impossibly. “I didn’t realize you were going to be here.”

Her attitude didn’t surprise you since many of the other moms had commented about her being very attracted to your boss. Apparently she had staked this weird claim on him despite being married, and no one dared to go against her because of who she was. Clearly, she didn’t like that you were overstepping the duties of a typical nanny.

Not that you cared, but having so many eyes on you was unsettling.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” You challenged, not daring to back down. “Taehyun is family, after all.”

You don’t miss the quiet gasps or the angry widening of Mrs. Ren’s eyes. Honestly, you had no idea why you blurted that out even though that’s how you really felt about the cute little boy you took care of.

“So, it’s true?” The woman behind her exclaimed in shock. “You’re really going to marry Seungcheol?”

Woah. Wait. What?

You can feel your eyes get big as this unknown woman goes on about how she knew her husband hadn’t lied to her. There was no time to fully process her words because Mrs. Ren practically had steam coming out of her ears as she sneered at you.

“You?” The principal's wife screeched. “You’re engaged to Choi Seungcheol?”

It’s almost funny how unreasonably angry you know she’s gotten, but you’re too thrown off by the entire situation to laugh. You decide to clear up this absurd claim before it can go any further.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding—”

You cut yourself off when a strong hand is gently placed on your waist. The warmth of a muscular body pressed against your side has you looking over to see none other than your hot boss, and you have to stop yourself from flinching because he looks absolutely livid. His presence makes you feel relieved and mortified all at the same time which leaves you feeling confused. But damn, does that mean glare look attractive on him.

“I didn’t expect this reaction from you, Mrs. Ren.” His cold tone sends shivers down your spine. “Are you not happy that I’ve finally decided to settle down again?”

The entire situation feels like a bizarre dream, and you can only be sure it’s not because of the very real heat coming from Seungcheol’s hand (which is still firmly on your waist). You can barely fathom the fact that Choi Seungcheol is actually lying about being engaged to you to help you save face, and you don’t know if you’re more embarrassed or charmed at this point.

“Tha-That’s not it!” She splutters, red in the face. “I was just surprised because I didn’t know you were dating again in the first place!”

It’s a lame excuse, one that doesn’t seem to satisfy your boss. “I’m sure that was it. There’s no way you would bear any ill will toward my family, right?”

You feel like you might actually swoon at his words. To hear him refer to you as his family makes an unmistakable warmth spread through your body. Sure, he was only doing it to help you, but still. The intention alone was enough to make your heart race.

The face Mrs. Ren makes looks like she’s seconds away from bursting with anger and mortification. How she manages to answer Seungcheol calmly is beyond you. “Of course not.”

“Good.”

His hand falls from your waist and grabs your own. It takes all your willpower to not melt into a puddle of mush as he starts to guide you away from the prying eyes. You let him drag you along, mind too full of rampant thoughts to really process what just happened.

“Seungcheol!” A voice calls. “Wait!”

You both stop, turning to see the woman from before. She gives your boss a devious smirk as she stops in front of you two, seemingly pleased.

“Aren’t you two a match made in heaven.” She says, grin getting bigger with every word. “Keeping this little affair a secret. When Jeonghan told me about it, I didn’t believe it since I haven’t seen you two together, but with the way you looked swooped in like Prince Charming—”

As she trails off with a swoon, you realize that she’s Yoon Minji, wife of your boss’s lifelong friend and business associate. Your mind is so muddled that you barely catch her invite you both to dinner before leaving to go find a seat.

After she leaves, Seungcheol keeps guiding you to the auditorium without saying a word. The silence is painful, but you’re forced to endure it since you don’t know what to say. Thanking him for helping you would be a good start, but then you don’t know if you’d be able to hold yourself back from asking why the wife of his best friend thought you two were engaged to be married.

“Y/N.” Seungcheol says your name softly as you two stop just outside the doors that lead to the auditorium. “Once again, I want to thank you for coming. I know it’s going to mean a lot to Taehyun that you came to watch him.”

The way you look at him with your pretty eyes makes Seungcheol want to kiss you senseless. His heart is beating fiercely in his chest, and he wonders how he could’ve never noticed these intense feelings before. The smile you give him is blinding, and he wishes that look would remain on your face forever.

“I’m happy to be here, and I know that it’s going to mean the world to Tae that you were able to make it.”

Seungcheol swallows thickly. “Also, I’m sorry about what happened back there. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable with what I said.”

His gaze is so tender that you feel your breath hitch. You’re heart is beating like it’s about to jump out and jump right into Seungcheol’s hands. Unsurprisingly, that’s where it feels like it’s been for the past year. You’re snapped out of your intrusive thoughts when you realize that you’re still holding hands. Neither of you make a move to let go.

“You didn’t.” You’re quick to assure him. “I’m actually really grateful that you helped me. I hope I didn’t inconvenience you.”

“Never.”

His smile is so pretty it makes you want to do unspeakable things to him, and you have to remind yourself of where you’re at and who you are. That reminder does little to squash the fire burning fiercely in your chest, though. Especially when Seungcheol guides you inside the auditorium, hand still wrapped around yours.

Seungcheol didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when he was about to enter the kitchen, your phone was on the counter and on speaker. It was inevitable that he heard his assistant’s voice as he spoke to you. He might’ve given you the privacy you deserved had he not caught what you two were talking about.

“How have you still not found something?” Josh’s concerned voice booms through the phone. “Your lease literally ends in two weeks.”

Originally, you had planned to move into a nice apartment building not too far from your job, but that fell through when you found out the prices had gone up significantly in the last month. It’s not like you were underpaid or anything (Seungcheol was very generous and the benefits were nothing short of impressive), but living there would mean spending more than half of your check on just rent alone. And as generous as your boss was, you know you could never bring yourself to ask for a raise.

“Everything I’ve looked at is either in a sketchy neighborhood or looks like it’ll need serious repairs.” You sigh as you start wiping down the stove. “I’m starting to think I should’ve never rejected Mr. Choi’s offer of being a live-in nanny.”

“Just tell him you changed your mind.” Josh says like it wouldn’t be a big deal. “He might give you the best room in the employee house. You know the one with the balcony!”

You disregard his teasing tone and scowl. “There’s no way I’m going to backtrack now. Do you know how humiliated I’ll be when he tells me no? I’ll have to quit right then and there!”

Even though you can’t see your friend, you can easily picture him rolling his eyes. “What do you plan on doing then?”

You pout at the phone. “Can’t I just live with you and Junhui? Your place is so nice.”

“You’ll have to stay in the living room, and you won’t have anywhere to put your things.”

Seungcheol sees your shoulders slump, and he has to stop himself from walking into the kitchen and taking you into his arms. He can only watch helplessly as you sigh quietly before responding in a voice that sounds too dejected for his liking.

“Maybe I’ll just move back in with my parents.”

This might’ve made Seungcheol feel better had his assistant not cut in with the obvious flaws in your plan. “Won’t the commute be too much, though? You can’t do that every day. Not with how early and late you have to work.”

There’s a pause, and then the next words that come out of Josh’s mouth make Seungcheol feel like someone punched him in the stomach.

“Unless you’re planning on resigning.”

Your silence makes the feeling in his stomach worsen, and your response doesn’t make him feel all that better. “Well, no, but... I don’t know. Maybe I’ll have to.”

Seungcheol slowly backs away, heart thumping irregularly in his chest. The thought of you quitting and no longer being in his life is more devastating than he could’ve imagined. It torments him and leaves him feeling cold.

For the rest of the evening, he can’t get his mind off the conversation he heard or how it leaves him feeling.

Even as he lays in his bed in the middle of the night, he can’t stop thinking about it. He goes over the situation over and over in his head until he finally decides that he can’t give you up, selfish as his reasons may be. All Seungcheol has to do is make sure his son won’t have an issue with what he’s planning to do.

“Taehyun.” He says softly as he’s tucks his son into bed alone for the first time in months. “You like Y/N, don’t you?”

The way the little boy vigorously nods his head makes his heart warm. “Yeah! She’s nice and pretty and I like when she calls me Tae!”

Seungcheol swallows, feeling more nervous than ever. “Then... how would you feel about her being around more often?”

Taehyun blinks slowly, weary eyes looking at his dad questioningly. As always, his son is silently asking to explain and get to the point. It’s hard to suppress a smile when he does things that remind Seungcheol how similar they are.

“What I mean is... would you like it if Y/N came to live here with us?”

It’s a relief when his son springs up, eyes shining with unadulterated excitement. “Y/N is going to live with us?” His happiness is evident. “Really?”

Seungcheol smiles tenderly, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

“I have to ask her first, but if she says yes, then she’ll come stay with us—as long as that’s something you want.”

“I do want it!” Taehyun says, bouncing on his knees. “Then we can all live together like a family!”

Yes, Seungcheol thinks as he affectionately caresses his son’s face. Like a family.

The next morning, you’re surprised to see your boss still hasn’t left for work even when you’re ready to take Taehyun to school. It’s even more surprising when he suggests you all go together. You can’t deny the request since Taehyun is all too happy to have you both take him to school.

It’s hard to ignore the stares you’re getting as you and Seungcheol walk Taehyun into the school. He’s holding both your hands, happily swinging them and talking animatedly. Funnily enough, the young boy manages to make the nerves you feel disappear with his infectious smile. You can easily disregard the gawking and whispers after seeing how happy your boss’s son is.

Seungcheol also doesn’t seem to mind the attention you two are attracting. He acts like his impassive self even as he’s driving you back to the mansion. The entire time he’s really just thinking of the best way to ask you to live with him and his son. Even though he knows you most likely won't say no, he still feels nervous.

“Y/N.” He says as he pulls into his long driveway. “Before you go, I have a request.”

You feel nervous, but manage to plaster a smile on your face. “Yes, sir?”

Seungcheol feels as if his heart jumped up into his throat. “Well, you see... my schedule is going to change drastically these next few months. I’m going to be working earlier and coming home much later. There are also be times where I’ll have to leave the city for business for extended periods of time.”

You’re not saying anything, and he knows he has to get to the point quickly.

“I was going to request that you come live with Taehyun and I during this time. It’ll be more convenient for everyone this way. I hope you’ll consider it.”

At this moment, your boss looks so earnest that you aren’t sure how to adequately express the influx of emotions you’re suddenly feeling. It all feels like a dream to you that you begin to wonder if his words are actually real. Either way, the warmth seeping into your bones pushes you to give the handsome man in front of you an answer.

“Yes, of course I will.”

Every time you wake up and find yourself in a luxurious room, you feel like you’ve been dropped in the middle of a blissful dream. Weeks have gone by, but it still feels unreal. Unlike your expectations, your boss moved you into the main house and gave you the room right across from his. It was hard to not let your fantasizing mind wander despite knowing he had done it out of convenience and nothing else.

Your life continues to be stuck in a routine until Taehyun goes to visit his grandparents. It’s strange without him around, and unsurprisingly, you begin to miss him after the first day. Your boss insists that you can take the week off and have it for yourself, but you still have no desire to actually do anything.

Seungcheol notices your listless attitude and feels determined to change it.

“Tonight?”

“You don’t want to?”

The way Seungcheol is looking like a pouty puppy is not good for your heart. Although you really don’t feel like going to dinner with Minji and Jeonghan, you can’t say no to the adorably hot man in front of you.

“No, it’s not that, I just—” You’re flustered, but don’t want him to think you don’t want to go with him. “They still think we’re engaged, right?”

You almost regret asking because Seungcheol’s hopeful look slowly fades away and is replaced by poorly concealed dejection. “Yeah. Sorry. I still haven’t cleared things up. We don’t have to go if that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t mind.” You tell him truthfully. “I just didn’t want it to seem like I was crossing the line.”

Seungcheol has to physically restrain himself from falling to his knees and telling you that you’re the only person who’s allowed to cross the line with him. Instead he manages to smile at you like he’s not physically dying inside. “You’re not.”

As you’re walking in to what seems to be like one of the most expensive restaurants in the city, you’re glad you spend a good fifteen minutes deciding on the perfect thing to wear. Seungcheol had seemed to like it, at least. His eyes were practically sparkling when he’d seen you.

It’s hard to ignore this intense pressure you feel when you sit down at the table. Minji and Jeonghan greet you amicably like you’re one of their old friends, but you know it’s only because they think you’re engaged to Seungcheol which you most definitely are not.

Luckily, the conversation flows naturally and smoothly until Jeonghan asks a question that leaves you without a single thing to say.

“I need to know the story of how you two fell in love because this man is not one who crosses the line with his employees.”

You’d like to know the same thing yourself. Not that Seungcheol was actually in love with you or had actually done that much to push past these rules he had set, but he’d done more than you ever believed him capable of doing.

“I can’t really remember how it happened.” Seungcheol says honestly. “After a while, I found myself excited to go home and see her. Every time she smiled at me, I felt like my heart was going to explode. When she went home, I missed her even though I knew she was coming back. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t picture my life without her in it.”

You’re staring. You know you are, but you can’t help it. He sounds so sincere with those shimmering eyes of his, and you feel like your own heart is on the verge of exploding. Even though it’s all an act, you start to feel those familiar butterflies invade your stomach and chest.

“Oh my god!” Minji squeals, slapping her husband’s arm repeatedly. “How cute is that? I swear you guys make me want a love like yours.”

As Jeonghan lets out an offended noise and starts to list off all the romantic and extravagant things he’s done in order to show Minji his love, you can only laugh along and pretend like your boss’s words didn’t affect you as much as they did.

When you get back home, your heart is still unable to let go of those sweet words. Even as you walk up to your room with Seungcheol still by your side, you can’t let them go despite knowing he didn’t mean them.

Now that it’s time to say goodnight, you feel strange parting ways even though he’ll literally be in the room across from yours. “I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for inviting me.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. I was kind of worried you weren’t going to.”

You always had a good time when you were with him, not that you would dare to say that out loud.

“You really surprised me, Mr Choi. I had no idea you were such a good actor.”

You had expected him to laugh, but instead he only looks at you with a somber gaze. “I told you to call me Seungcheol.”

His voice comes out so authoritative that it makes your insides clench, and his lidded gaze makes your heart leap up into your throat. You manage to find your voice even though it comes out a bit weak. “But we’re not pretending anymore...”

His gaze sharpens. “I’ve never pretended to love you.”

His words hang in the air, and they shock you so much that they make you unconsciously give into his request from before. “Seungcheol.” You say breathlessly.

The way his name rolls off your tongue makes his heart stutter, and he briefly thinks he could listen to you say his name forever. Both your eyes are burning fiercely with this emotion that has been blatant to all those around you. Except this time you can both see it.

You’re not sure who makes the first move, but suddenly his mouth is covering yours, tongue licking along your bottom lip. The feeling is electric, and you throw all your inhibitions to the wind as you pull Seungcheol closer.

Your heart is pounding fiercely as you two stumble into his room, pulling off the the clothes you’re wearing, touching each other desperately as if you think this moment might end at any moment. It won’t though, and you become conscious of that fact as you’re laying on the softest sheets you’ve ever felt, completely naked.

Seungcheol is gazing at you with so much affection and want that it makes you feel like he plans to eat you up. He kisses along your inner thighs, gently licking and biting at your soft skin. His warm hands caress the outside of your thighs, gently digging his fingers into the soft skin.

“So pretty.”

You can feel your breath hitch in anticipation as his hands smooth down your inner thighs until he’s pressing two fingers against your aching clit. It’s dizzying the way Seungcheol rubs it in gentle circles that have you squirming and gasping in pleasure. His heated gaze flickers between your face and your dripping cunt, not wanting to miss the sight of you falling apart under him.

“Look at how wet you are, sweetheart. All for me.”

His voice has a possessive edge to it as he grinds down on the bed, hard cock rubbing uselessly against the sheets. The pleasure is minimal, and Seungcheol has to hold back a whine at the lack of relief.

“Please.” You mewl, shifting your hips up slightly.

Seungcheol keeps his dark eyes on you to make sure you’re watching him. He presses a soft kiss to your pulsing clit, and he has to groan when he sees you clench around nothing. The featherlight touch has you feeling so desperate and lightheaded that you’re unable to stop the wanton mewl that tumbles past your lips. “Seungcheol.”

Your voice is so needy and sweet that Seungcheol lets out a moan of his own before he dips his head between your thighs. The moan you let out is loud as he starts to suck and lick at your aching bud. His movements are smooth and gentle somehow, and it’s not long before you feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten.

Seungcheol is groaning and panting into your cunt as he laps up every bit of your juices. He’s eating you out like a starved man, and you love every second of it. The way he grabs your thighs and pulls your wet cunt closer to his mouth makes your head swim. One of your hands finds his hair while the other trails up your body to cup your tit. You pull and pinch at the taut nipple with a loud moan of Seungcheol’s name.

The sweet moans you’re letting out as Seungcheol spreads your slick all over your cunt makes his cock throb in anticipation. He wonders what you’ll sound like when he finally has his dick inside you. Your grip on his hair tightens when he circles his tongue on your puffy bud. The cute whines falling from your lips become louder as his he continues to fuck you with his tongue.

“So sweet.” Seungcheol groans against your dripping cunt. “Sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Your pussy clenches around his tongue so tightly that it almost feels like it could be pulled off his mouth. But your moans and mewls coax him to keep going, loving the way you’re starting to blubber incoherently. “Fuh-Fuck! Feels so good...”

The way you take an awkward pause makes Seungcheol lift his head questioningly. Your whine of protest has his leaking cock throbbing almost painfully. “What is it?”

Your face feels hot, and you’re so lost in your pleasure that it pushes you to tell him the truth. “Can... Can I call you daddy?”

Seungcheol smashes his hot face back into your cunt, cock aching painfully. “Call me whatever you want, sweetheart. I’m all yours.”

His tongue and lips are massaging your swollen clit, and all you can do is throw your head back and arch your back to grind your hot cunt harder onto his mouth. It almost feels like too much, but strangely also like not enough at the same time.

“O-Oh, fuck! Daddy!”

The loud cry you let out as you squirt all over Seungcheol’s face makes him let out a guttural moan of his own. His entire chin and mouth is covered with your sweet juices, and he continues to lap it up like you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted—which you are.

Seungcheol sits up, licking his lips until he can’t taste you anymore. His grin is devious but also so hot. He’s gently caressing your still-quivering thighs, and you feel like you can faint from how much you’re enjoying it.

Then, your eyes drift down to his huge cock. It’s possibly the biggest one you've ever seen, and also the prettiest. You lick your own lips before looking back up at at his face. The way he’s looking at you with his dark eyes has you clenching around nothing.

“You’re okay to keep going?”

God, he’s so fucking sweet that you just want to fuck him until he can’t talk. You nod desperately, opening your legs wider.

“Fuck me, daddy.”

Your mouth drops open in a quiet moan when you feel Seungcheol’s thick cock push into your cunt with a lewd, wet sound. His large hands smooth down your thighs, squeezing and caressing so tenderly that it has your pussy clenching down on his throbbing dick. He swoops down to swallow your moan, lips messily colliding with yours.

His thrusts are so deep and slow that all you can do is gasp into his mouth. The fat tip of his cock is hitting your sweet spot so sharply that you have to buck your hips up to meet his movements. Seungcheol starts to trail his lips along your jaw and neck, gently nipping and kissing at the soft skin. The lewd squelch coming from your pussy is driving him insane. His entire cock is coated with your juices, and he’s never feel better than he does now.

“Fuck, angel. Look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well.” His voice is dizzying, and all you can do is cry out in pleasure.

Seungcheol leans back, just watching you writhe under him. You’re so pretty as you fuck yourself on his cock, squeezing him until it feels almost hard to move. His hand slowly trails down between your bodies, and you let out a loud moan of his name when he starts to roll your puffy clit with his long fingers.

White cream coats his entire length, leaving a milky ring at the base of his cock. You wetly gasp out his name, your nails digging into his forearms, but Seungcheol is relentless. He’s like a hungry beast as he pounds into your gushing hole and all you can do is desperately try to meet his thrusts.

“Fuck, look how you’re soaking daddy’s cock, baby. Making such a mess.” He groans, feeling your slick dripping down to his heavy balls.

You can only moan loudly for him to keep fucking you, already drunk on the feeling of his thick cock splitting you open. Seungcheol spits on your throbbing cunt, mixing in with your juices that are coating his dick. His bulbous tip is slamming against the spongy spot that has you seeing stars, forcing more slick out of you with every harsh thrust.

The coil in the pit of your stomach is close to snapping, and your mouth drops open as your thighs begin to tremble again.

“Fuh-Fuck, daddy! Love your big dick!”

His tantalizing smirk is so hot to you, and it makes you clench down on his cock and release another stream of slick. Seungcheol moans, eager to feel you cream on his cock like he’s dreamed of countless times. It just takes him angling his hips just right for his wish to come true.

Your toes curl in pleasure, a loud moan of his name tearing from your throats as a rush of wetness escapes you. Of course, Seungcheol keeps pounding you, roughly fucking you through one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Cream all over my cock.” His voice rasps, thick with lust and adoration.

A thick white ring is at the base of his cock, slowly smearing down to his heavy sack. The sight is driving Seungcheol wild, almost as wild as the sight of your glistening folds stretching around him. “Give me another one, baby. I know you can.”

“Fuck, please.” Your cry. “Fill me up with your cum, daddy!”

It’s like something inside Seungcheol snaps when he hears your pleas. In an abrupt movement, he presses your legs to your chest and starts to pound into your hot cunt. Your tight walls are sucking him in like they’re also begging to be painted with his seed.

“You want my cum, angel?” Seungcheol coos, gently caressing your soft legs as he slams his cock into your sweet spot, balls slapping against your ass with every thrust. “Want me to fill you up until you’re carrying my baby, give Taehyun a little sibling?”

“Please!” You mewl when you feel his cock throb inside you. “Want to make you a daddy again. Stuff me full of your cum!”

Your voice is breathless and a little whiny, and Seungcheol feels like you’re making him lose his mind. “Fuck, baby. I’ll give it to you then. I’ll fill you up until I’m all you can feel.”

You continue to beg him for his cum, telling him how much you need it in your cunt. The more he fucks you, the less you can form actual words. Every fantasy you’ve had feels so dull compared to the real thing. All the times you’ve gotten off to the image of him fucking you or had wet dreams about him were absolutely obscene and filthy. Somehow, the reality was much better.

A rush of euphoria overwhelms you when you feel Seungcheol spills his cum directly against your cervix. You wrap your legs around him to make sure his cum goes as deep as possible. His hot load fills you up, painting every inch of your sensitive walls as he slowly rolls his hips into you.

You yank him down for a messy kiss, so desperate and needy for him that you don’t care about anything else. “Don’t stop, daddy.”

Seungcheol fucks his cum into you, wanting to mark you from the inside out now that he has you. He can feel your mixed releases slowly seep out of you, and he carnally thinks he’s going have to fill you up again so he can be sure he’s bred you properly.

Your hot cunt is throbbing almost painfully, bordering on that delicious burn of being overstimulated. But you’re still hungry for more. So when he releases you from the press he had you in, you roll over and stick your ass out at him. You look back, satisfied when you see his dark eyes are on your sloppy pussy that’s dripping with his cum.

“Keep fucking me, daddy. Want more of your cum.”

That’s all it takes for Seungcheol to plunge back into your tight cunt, pounding into you like a savage beast. His leaking tip slams into your spongy spot repeatedly, making you cry out in absolute ecstasy. His big balls are slapping against your sensitive nub, adding to the mind-blurring pleasure you’re feeling.

“Fuck, Y/N. Your little cunt is still so fucking tight after being stretched open and bred.” Seungcheol growls, hands squeezing and slapping your ass as it bounces against his pelvis. “Creaming and dripping all over this cock, making a mess again.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he keeps fucking you with feral precision. “Fuck, daddy! So good!”

Seungcheol can feel your hot cunt clamping down on him again, and he lets out a deep moan. “Come for me again, baby. Show daddy just how good he’s making you feel.”

You can only mewl and whine, too list in the pleasure his big cock is providing you. Seungcheol’s thrusts become impossibly rougher and sharper. It feels like he’s rearranging your guts with how he’s pulling your pliant body to meet the snapping of his hips.

“Daddy!” You squeal in shock when he flips you on your side before hooking one of your legs over his shoulder and continues to fuck you mercilessly.

This new angle stretches your sore cunt more while exposing it to the cool air. You can only imagine how filthy you look down there, but Seungcheol seems to love it. All the pleasure your feelings is driving you insane, and you can only feel an insane amount of pleasure taking over your mind.

“Come inside me, daddy!” You moan wantonly, desperate to feel his hot cum fill you up again.

His soaked cock throbs inside you, eager to release inside your tight pussy. “Want me to? You that desperate to be a mommy, baby?”

When you nod desperately, he focuses on making you come again so he can give you what you both want. Seungcheol gives you one sharp thrust before he leans back slightly to watch you squirt and cover his lower half in your release. Your body gently convulses as quiet mewls pour from your mouth.

“You’re so fucking hot, sweetheart.” Seungcheol groans as he keeps fucking into your hot cunt. “Can’t get enough of you.”

He keeps slamming in and out of your wet pussy desperately, eager for his own release. Seungcheol comes with a yell of your name, spilling his hot cum deep inside you and pumping you full. His cum spurts along your sore walls until it feels like there’s no room for more of it. It seeps out around his cock, leaking down to your ass and his heavy balls.

Seungcheol doesn’t slow down. The oversensitivity you’re both feeling makes him more ravenous. He obsessed with the sight of you trembling on his cock, caught between begging for a break and pleading for more. He fucks his cum into you, desperate to make it go as deep as possible.

Wet noises seep into your foggy mind, playing dully in the background to your muddles thoughts of sex and Seungcheol. He’s successfully fucked you stupid, and you’ve never felt better than you did now. Your cunt is filled to the brim, his seed coating your every inch of your core. At some point, his thrusts slowed into thorough grinds, sticky strings of arousal and cum connecting your most intimate parts.

Seungcheol doesn’t pull out. Instead he collapses next to you and tugs you closer. He shoves his face in your collarbone, inhaling your scent as he feels raw cock throb inside you.

You hug him closer to you, gently caressing his hair. It’s a peaceful silence that fills the room, and you were close to drifting off to sleep until a thought occurs to you.

“Can I ask you something?”

Seungcheol nuzzles deeper into you, pressing a wet kiss on your soft skin. “Anything.”

“Why did Jeonghan think we were engaged in the first place?” You wonder, thinking it would be fine to ask this much since you have his cock and cum inside you.

There’s a pregnant pause until Seungcheol pulls back and looks at you with a slight pout. “That idiot wanted to set you up with his cousin. I had no other choice but to tell him you were already mine.”

You actually laugh, not believing this was the same man who told you to never overstep the boundaries he had. His pout is still there, and you lean in to kiss it right off his face. It’s languid and gentle, and leaves you feeling dizzy.

“Fine, but I still expect an actual ring.”

Seungcheol hugs you tighter, wondering if it’s too soon to show you the little black box he has in his nightstand.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo @dokwiyomie

[stop-talking]

So I guess I should do an intro post / fanfic masterlist

Hi.

• I'm 20 yrs old, she/her, and obsessed with Josh Hutcherson. (Mike & Futturman especially have my heart)

• I'm new to writing, but I read like crazy and spend 90% of my time daydreaming up little stories about my favorite characters. Just using Tumblr as an outlet to get those little stories to the world.

• Feel free to request any fanfic related to a jhutch character. I'm most comfortable writing for Mike, Futturman, and Derek, but I'm willing to try to write for other characters. (Minus Peeta. Thinking about the Hunger Games makes me unreasonably sad & I'm not sure I know his character well enough to do him justice.)

My Works

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

✩ Mike Schmidt:

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (18+)

Exactly what it sounds like. His babysitter goes missing, but he can't leave Abby home alone. Unfortunately, he's broke as fuck, and can't afford to pay someone to watch her. So... he calls you. He'll endure your bitchy attitude and relentless teasing if it means his sister will be safe. Somewhere along the way, endure turns to enjoy.

Fem reader; 10k words (total)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

No Abby, we're not getting ice cream.

Silly little one-off about the average shopping trip for Mike and Abby. He's just trying to get things for dinner, but Abby has other plans. Just Mike being the single mother that he is.

Mike's POV; 1.2k words

Read here

Open wide (18+)

Mike hasn't been to the dentist since he was a kid, but with his new job, and health insurance... he really has no excuse not to. One problem, though. He doesn't remember the experience being so... erotic? Is he insane, or is the attractive, young, dental assistant... hitting on him?

Gender-neutral reader; 2.8k words

Read here

Sleepless Nights

Abby is sure something's up with her brother. He's always been tired, sure, but ever since the events at Freddy's... well, he's gotten a lot worse. The stubborn man won't let her help, so she convinces him she's the one in need of comfort.

Abby's POV; 500 words

Read here

Gender-neutral reader; 2.8k words

✩ Derek Danforth:

So I'm stuck on this shithole island, and I can't even have a smoke? (18+)

You're hired by his mother as a last resort to try and get him sober. Alone with just him for three weeks, your job is to rehabilitate him.

Unfortunately, Derek sees you as his personal chef, maid, and whore. You flat-out refuse at first, but well, after so many days of only interacting with each other... The lines are a little blurred. something-to-lovers. It's complicated.

Fem reader; 22.9k words total (so far)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 (Part 8 coming soon)

Derek sending you nudes while you're at work (blurb) (18+)

Read here

Older; not Wiser (18+)

Derek isn't the type to entertain 20-year-olds. Really, he's not. That is, until one falls right into his lap. Literally.

You're just so sweet and fun, how could he ever dream of saying no when you ask him to show you a good time?

Part 1 (Part 2 coming soon)

fem reader; 2.5k words

✩ Josh Futturman:

Win for me ♡ (18+)

You're tired of your boyfriend paying more attention to his stupid game than you. So, late one night, you take matters into your own hands. Literally. Hopefully his little gaming buddies don't mind hearing him moan into the mic...

Gender-neutral reader; 2.3k words

Read here

✩ Clapton Davis

Saturday School

(Request) "Imagine listening to music with Clapton while in detention... like sharing earbuds with him while y'all sit in silence. Then a cringe song comes on at the wrong time LMAO"

Gender-neutral reader; 2k words

Read here

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

[norrisreads]

delicate - yt #22

PAIRING: yuki tsunoda x reader!

SUMMARY: inspired by delicate - Taylor Swift

WARNINGS: fluff, hinge of angst! cheater! ex !!!!!! insecure reader!

FC: karina from aespa

masterlist

“ hi! you mentioned drawing inspiration for your fic from songs. can you write Yuki fic based on Delicate by Taylor Swift where they are both into each other but the reader is so afraid to mess up because of her problematic past? maybe a little angsty to spice it up? thank you xx”

love love the idea of this, hope you’re happy with my take on it <3 yuki needs more love and fics 😭🙏🏻

Being friends with the scuderia alphatauri driver, yuki tsunoda has it’s pros and cons. Having met on a cooking class and being closer to each other after one dinner ‘date’ made you realise the both of you have tons of similarities. you’ve never realised yuki was a driver racing for the formula one, not until you’ve realised you were stopped in the streets by fans asking for a picture with him.

pros are you’re well contented with his presence, not having a single dull moment whenever you’re around him

and cons are being scared to confessing your feelings to the said driver, with a fear of rejection and letting him in your life permanently.

It's okay to consider confessing; what scares you is your fear of being rejected. Rejection and you are not compatible, and neither is maintaining people in your life on a long-term basis.

A terrible memory has to be the day your friends and ex-boyfriend publically humiliated you. It seems like everyone, including their mothers, knew about his affair with your ex-best friend, which made the entire year unbearably monotonous and depressing.

It's safe to assume that you never truly had someone there for you during your difficult times because you were never great with people—that is, until you met Yuki.

Despite his hectic schedule, he was there for you when you were hired for your dream company and even celebrate your 22nd birthday. You've come to realize that you were no match for him because he was there for you through everything.

You were simply a typical lady...a regular person who works for a company and relies upon that job for her income—someone he had met while taking cookery classes during his downtime. You weren't a well-known figure in the industry or an influencer. Perhaps this explains why, unseen to you, Yuki Tsunoda has a major crush on you.

“hey what has gotten you thinking so hard, that you’re not listening to me?” yuki snaps his fingers trying to get your attention which made you realised you’ve been daydreaming

smiling at yuki, “nothing just thinking on what we should get for dinner later”

he took a seat beside you, “i was thinking of this ramen store that i used to go when i was a kid, i wanna bring you there. I’m sure you’ll love the ramen”

yuki pleaded you for a 2 weeks off from your work to attend the Japanese Grand Prix, and you agreed as he was super persistent on making sure you’re on board with the plan.

other than that, yuki planned a whole guided trip (of course him being the tour guide) for you. Showing you places that had meant a-lot to him, bring you to the harry potter house (you’re a huge fan of it, and yuki could tell as you had a raven-claw phone case on when he first met you) and of course bringing you to meet his friends.

“i’m almost done with everything, just give me 30 minutes and i’ll be back. you can walk around with Michael if you’re scared, or i can call over josh to accompany you?”

you had met michael and josh countless times, whenever you’re over at yuki’s house they’ll never fail to be there too. The four of you had surprisingly gotten closer, but with the recent shifting of josh to Ferrari, the outings weren’t rlly quite often anymore.

“yeah i’ll visit josh, i’ve just seen him outside a few minutes ago. Text me when you’re done yuki”

walking around the paddock with josh made you realised that he was a great listener, he listened to you rambling on and on about your life and your feelings towards Yuki.

“give it a try, y/n” josh stopped walking and faced you, shrugging his shoulders

“i’m scared, what if he leaves like the others josh? he’s not someone i would want to let go off”

then you heard laughters, looking at josh in confusion

“him? leaving you? yeah that’s never happening. Have you seen the way he look at you?”

shaking your head , “i shouldn’t be telling you this, if Yuki hears this from me, i’m dead y/n but the way he looks at you? it’s unbelievable but that gaze was a look of a man in love”

with you..?

“don’t joke around josh, it’s not funny!”

but with the seriousness of josh look, it was never a joke

“well it’s up to you to believe me y/n, come on let’s go! Michael just texted me yuki is done for the day”

“why did you not let me know we’re going to a restaurant? i’m too dressed down for this yuki” walking side by side with yuki towards the restaurant

“it’s a family business, i doubt they’ll care of our dress-codes further more you’ll still look beautiful even with a trash bag on”

arriving at the restaurant, the both of you were guided to a table, and a few minutes later, yuki’s uncle greeted the both of you.

“it’s such an honour meeting yuki’s girlfriend, we heard sooo much about you from yuki! we were super excited that you’ve decided to visit japan!”

yuki’s girlfriend…?

“oh no i’m just a friend! it’s an honour in meeting you too, i can’t wait to try the food here!” smiling sweetly to yuki’s uncle and what you’ve missed was the red flush cheeks on yuki’s face.

in the midst of eating and talking, yuki took out a small bag and handed it to you

confused, accepting the bag and you took a look, you were surprised.

it was a locket necklace with a picture of the both of you that he had taken after the first dinner ‘date’ with a date engraved on the other side of the locket.

“y/n, i’ve been thinking and i’ve realised that with you in my life, i’ve looked forward to it everyday. You made me realise that life was worth living and i can’t imagine a life without you. I must say my anger management has been really well after i’ve met you”

the both of you laughed, but yuki was looking forward to your answer

apparently, after the talk that you had with josh. He had raise his concerns about you to yuki, and yuki’s goal for tonight is for you to feel loved.

“i know you’re having thoughts if i will ever leave you, but I promise you i won’t. I’ll stay by your side till we’re old, I’ll celebrate every milestone with you, i’ll never get sick of you y/n. There’s no one else that i would want to live my life with, it does not matter that you’re just a typical girl because what matters at the end of the day is you’re the only one i’ve had my eyes on, so would you be the honour of being my girlfriend?”

and by the end of his sentence, you were tearing up.

“you’re driving me crazy yuki tsunoda”

Yuki holds while stroking your hands, saying, " that’s what i do best, love”

y/n__01 just shared a photo

liked by yukitsunoda0511 krusectrl michaelitaliano and 20 more

tagged: yukitsunoda0511

y/n__01 handsome, you’re mansion with a view

krusectrl thanks to me

y/n__01 thankyou josh 🙏🏻🥹

pierregasly welcome to the club yukitsunoda0511

yukitsunoda0511 will always love you 💙

y/n__01 🥹💙

yukitsunoda0511 just shared a photo

liked by pierregasly danielricciardo y/n__01 and 302,749 others

tagged: y/n__01

yukitsunoda0511 you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts ❤️😇

gaslied22 WHAT? YUKI HAS A GF?

yukifans it was just confirmed today! I’m so happy for them!

tsunodays stop im actually sobbing, they’re so adorable

gaslied22 STOP! the taylor swift song references !!!!!!!

danielricciardo so this is the reason you’re smiling every day

yukitsunoda0511 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

y/n__01 are you quoting a taylor swift song rn tsunoda

yukitsunoda0511 well of course…

another yuki oneshot added to the list, i hope this was a great read! added in a lil ig post of their reveal 🤭🙏🏻

[lemotmo]

Let's watch 911 7x07

All right guys, let’s do this. I’m finally able to sit down and watch episode 7x07. I'll type out my thoughts and feelings as I'm watching.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional show with fictional characters. These characters go through some of the wildest things. This time we have a cheating storyline for Eddie and while, in real life, it would be a big no no, on a TV show like this it’s a narrative I can get behind. These people need to go through dramas to come out on the other side as reborn. It’s what TV is for, an escape from reality. None of it is real. So yeah, while Eddie cheats on Marisol, I will still watch this show and I’ll still be intrigued what this means for him and his narrative. Ultimately this part of his story will serve a purpose and I’m here for that.

So, let’s go!

That first call going to Maddie. She is so damn good at her job.

Oh no, they crashed!

2. No no no, Chimney! An explosion! Stay away Eddie! Oh no, she’s burned badly, isn’t she? Inhalation burns.

Where is the baby?

Why is Athena the only police officer working these cases? There is never another police officer on call.

Where is the baby? Please don’t hurt the baby!

That poor lady.

Where is the damn baby?

3. That’s right, no screens during dinner. I have the same rule at home. My son is used to it by now.

Mara! Denny knows about her baby brother, Tyson. Oh that poor sweet girl.

4. Oh, the ice cream Marisol scene. I’m afraid now! Christopher really seems to like her. That poor kid is going to go through it, isn’t he. Another woman who will eventually leave him, for good reason I know, but still…

Ooooh, fake Shannon! Cue Eddie having a flashback of Shannon. Man, grief can be so hard sometimes. The moment you think you’re doing better, something happens to throw you back in the middle of it. Imagine seeing a döppelganger of your deceased wife. That has to be hard on anyone.

5. Hen is such a great mother. I love how she talks to Mara and really understands what is going on with her.

That’s right baby! Denny is nice. Of course you miss him.

Has he been taken by the foster system?

6. What do you mean her husband is in Alaska? Who is that guy? And where is the baby???

Oh Maddie, this has to be hard for her. All of those memories. That’s right Josh, talk some sense into her.

7. Foster families are important, but it sucks how siblings are separated.

Oh… Mara’s mother had an affair. Man, there is a theme running through this episode.

I don’t think the system can do a lot in cases like this Hen. Sometimes hands are tied.

8. The burn unit. Oh, that is Amir huh? 'The only one responsible is the driver, the rest of us are left to clean up the mess.' Auwch! This is the guy who is going to go after Bobby, isn’t he?

Side note: Theo Huxtable was my favourite on ‘The Cosby Show’. I know, I know, we’re not supposed to watch it anymore and shit, but I grew up with that show, so yeah.

He seems like a nice guy. Are we sure he’s going after Bobby?

Maddie, you’re a nurse… mask up when you visit a burn victim!

9. No no no, I don’t want to see this scene! No Eddie, don’t do it!!!

Of course fake Shannon would walk out to talk to him. I would! I mean, the guy looks gorgeous.

A candle? Instant stimulation. Noooooooo, don’t do it babe! On the beach with Shannon.

Ryan, the actor that you are. Your eyes speak to me!

Nooooo, you aren’t single babe!!!! Have you forgotten about Marisol without a last name? She was right there in the beginning of the episode, eating ice cream with you.

Edmundo… really? This harkens back to Ana times.

Fake Shannon is called Kim.

But really, Kim is the spitting image of Shannon. How can he resist this? All he’s ever wanted was to be enough for Shannon and now he has another chance. Of course he’ll take it. The loveable idiot!

The S keychain… I mean, Eddie babe, she isn’t Shannon. She’s another person. You can’t just replace your deceased wife with a new copy. It doesn’t work that way. She looks like her, but she’s a completely different woman.

10. Mommy and me classes. Hen and Karen stalking yet again another parent of one of their foster children. Well, not the real parent, but you know what I mean. They’ve done this before. This isn’t healthy ladies. I understand your motivation, but it just isn’t healthy. You’ll end up being kicked out of the system if you continue like this.

11. Maddie, stop obsessing babe. It isn’t healthy. Where is Chimney?

Aaaah, that’s right! He’s her husband now!!!! YAY!

Oh, Chimney, you are the best husband. You get it. You understand her so well.

This scene is gold! GOLD!

Oh, this guy isn’t connected to the lady at all, is she?

12. OMG! He’s the neighbour! He has to be.

That poor mother.

13. Wait… is that Shannon or Kim in bed with Eddie? Please let it be Shannon! I’m not ready for a full-blown sexual affair.

Side note: it is so weird that the women on 911 always have their bras on when they have sex. Meanwhile the TV-shows that get made in my country have full-blown nudity and very explicit unapologetic sex scenes, and no one bats an eye over it.

What is going on? Is it Kim? It can’t be!

Whose room is that? That isn’t Eddie’s bed, is it?

Oh, it’s a memory… or is it? I don’t think he slept with Shannon before she saw him at Christmas, did he? I remember that scene where they had sex upside down on the bed and then she quickly had to leave because Chris came home. This is so different.

O_o Dude! No! Marisol is right there. I have no love for this women, since I hardly know her, but this is a big no no! Not in front of her salad.

14. Oh, he was a handyman. A real stalker.

Maddie is calling the sister? Isn’t that against protocol? This show just throws every single rule into the bin.

Kyle had to make a fresh start from what? Oh no, his wife left with the baby. This guy is full on psychotic, isn’t he? He’s living in a delusion where the victim and her baby are his own wife and child.

What is he feeding that baby?

Oh no, this guy is crazy! A new mommy?

Maddie, you genius you!!! I love you! You understand creepy guys like no other.

Someone save that baby!!!!!! Nooo!

Chimney knows!

Oh Buck tackled that guy! His back has to be broken! That dude is massive!

The woman is safe!

15. Oh no, Amir’s eyes! He knows Bobby. Such a great actor.

Bobby is in trouble.

16. Tyson, yes. So happy that Mara gets to see her brother again.

Of course he remembers here. Kids always do.

17. Buck is cooking. I don’t want to watch the next scene, because I know what is coming. But okay.

This is so homey and cosy. The three of them together.

Smoke though? Foreshadowing?

Good cologne? We won’t wait up for you? Oh Buck… if you only knew what your best friend was up to. You could have stopped him to talk some sense into him.

This scene though. They’re a unit, the three of them. One day…

But first Eddie needs to deal with some of his demons. Let’s go.

18. Thank God, some Madney first. I need a little break before disaster strikes. Jee is sooo cute.

No more bad dreams tonight? Yeah, maybe not for Jee. I’m about to have a full blown nightmare in 3... 2... 1... and there it is...

19. Pffff, Eddie Eddie Eddie. I’m so disappointed in you right now. Don’t get me wrong, I still love you to bits and you’re still my fav on 911, but what are you doing? Not only to yourself, but to Marisol, Kim and Chris?

If you wanted to date this woman so badly, why didn’t you break up with Marisol first? It would have been the most decent thing to do for everyone involved.

Do you think this will bring Shannon back? It won’t you know. Kim is a different woman. Next to that, you are idealising your marriage to Shannon. It’s blinding you and stopping you from moving forward in life.

You need to let go of Shannon. Lay her to rest.

But I can see that you aren’t planning for that.

This is all going to come to a very messy ending and you’ll be left in the dust my friend. I just hope Chris doesn’t get pulled into this. I don’t ever want him to know.

Wait until Buck finds out. Not looking forward to that scene. It’ll be hard to watch.

I wonder if they are going to make this in a full-blown sexual affair, or an emotional cheating affair. And how long will it last? One episode? Two? What will make him see that what he’s doing is self-destructing? I’m convinced that this man is hurting deeply and he just wants to feel happy again, no matter the cost. He has this illusion that everything was perfect with Shannon, but it wasn’t. All of this will come crashing down and he’ll be left in the dust, alone.

If we have to believe Ryan’s interview, he’ll eventually crawl out of the pit of despair as a new man. Which is a good thing. But he’s going to go through it first and I’m here for it. I'll gobble up every single scene and the gut-wrenching heartbreak Eddie will go through the moment he will realise that he has f*cked up so badly.

Side note: We have now seen three people of the 118 cheat, in different ways, on their partners by now. I wonder if there’s something in the water?

[jaigny]

Jesse Ross

Age: 23

Sexual Orientation : She/Her

Ethnics: Al Simahara & Del Sol Valley

Traits: Foodie, Family Oriented & Animal Enthusiast

Likes: Black,Red & Blue/ Music wise she likes Electronica, Metal & Summer Strut

Story:

Growing up as a kid in Al Simahara certainly had its good times as well as its drawbacks. Her parents though approached Jesse when she was 6 saying that they were moving to a place called Del Sol Valley for their jobs as well as better schools for Jesse.

Jesse is the eldest child of her family and they refer to her as a "Wildcard" due to the fact she's always doing something to occupy herself whether it be with her father in his car workshop or with they mother baking goods or painting til dinner time.

She has 3 other siblings that are all boys. Josh (2nd oldest, 18), Jericho (Middle Child, 16) and the baby of the family James (12). And her mother is pregnant with twins.

*Files*

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Ursula Landgraab

She/They/Them

24 Retired celeb chef/Celeb mixologist

Cooperdale

Allosexual

Being the single daughter of famous celebrities San Myshuno's Art Critic Malcom Landgraab and Celebrity Platinum List Actress Venessa Jeong and the granddaughter of the greatly known Nancy and George Landgraab certainly is a job in itself. Full of expected family expectations as itself is exhausting but she decided like her uncle Johnny Landgraab Zest to forge her own path into bobbies she enjoyed into a very successful career.

Though the deal with her scholarship with both her parents and grandparents was that she study other things she may or may not enjoy as a backup plan incase her main career goal didn't work out. Hence she has a few distinguished degrees from both Foxbury and Brichester Collages. (her grandparents peered to her that anything less was unacceptable)

What's your ideal type if your looking for romance on Love Island?

She doesn't have an ideal type really but she does look for more personality wise then just looks. She wants a partner who is genuine, calm but always down for fun and one that appreciates her needs etc but always does the same for themselves and can stand up to her pressuring family.

Why is she applying to Love Island and what does she hope to get out of the experience?

To have fun, take a well deserved break and meet new people and connections/friendships whether there's love or not in the cards for her.

More Backstory:

Her parent's met during Simder's filming location as they required a large enough vault at San Myshuno's Art Museum owned by Art Critic Malcom Landgraab.

Venessa and Malcom at first didn't get along at first portraying their passionate personalities that didn't mesh at first until their first kiss which was at a night time film location at San Myshuno's Central Park and as they walked and argued with prodding fingers and hands flying both didn't notice where they were walking and fell into the large park fountain and emerged locked in a very spicy and passionate embrace much to the excitement of a few paparazzi that sneaked in past security.

And thus the sim world learned of the great romance between Landgraab and Jeong. Though through numerous paparazzi trash articles and other things that tried to pull them apart only made their love stronger and so when both were in their early 30's welcomed their own precious bundle into the world and named her Ursula Anastasia Jeong Landgraab into a quiet small town of Cooperdale from prying paparazzi and media eyes (and Malcom's parents).

Through the years as they resided in that quiet town, Ursa grew into a beautiful and well educated woman with her hobbies in cookery/baking etc as well as biology mainly the mind as well as art and physics when she turned into distinguished degrees much to her proud parents and grandparents (Because let's be honest George and mainly Nancy wouldn't accept anything less.)

A few of Ursa's own paintings actually are hung in the gallery by her father and the Landgraab mansion in Oasis Springs under her initials though no one actually knows who she is for obvious privacy reasons. She's had her own few dates and relationships but sadly they didn't work out due to the restless nature of paparazzi and the media or they were only after her Landgraab fortune.

*Files*

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Makoa Kealoha

Traits:

Gregarious

Child of the ocean

Athletic

Ambitious

Age: Adult (35years)

Pronouns: He/Him/They

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

After a surprise and devastating Monsoon swept his wife Liliana who was in severe labor on the beach as they waited for the coastal helicopter/boat to rescue them during a quiet beach walk on Mui Pua.

Now all that's left is 2 marked memorial stone graves left where he last saw his wife. Some say he's still lucky to be alive after rescuse patrol found him stranded in a abnormally shaped coconut tree trunk but unconscious.

For nearly 5 years all Makoa could do is search the waters and nearby islands for anything left of his wife. Hope diminishing with each search until he was finally persuaded by Duane and the Island Elders that enough was enough and he needed to look after himself as he had concernedly lost much weight and he looked ill.

So Duane and Makoa went on a boating trip around the equator, making pit stops to different places and trying new foods etc and healed over time with his grief. When they returned back to Sulani Makoa decided to leave his old home and with Duane by his side as his only family left (Liliana and Makoa adopted him when Duane was 10) and moved into an old beach shack on Mua Pua Retreat that student conservatists stayed during the long months if they didn't have any other place to stay and though it was in bad shape they both soon over time began to rebuild their lives with each new day as they lived off the land.

*Files*

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Liam Tuttle is back! Back for love!

Last time Liam was seen was on C1air3 Bachelorette Challenge by @mvlkavian.

Since then Liam returned to his cute cabin back at Mt Komorebi, and after staying as great friends with C1air3, she recently gave him a makeover after coming back from her honeymoon declaring that he needed to get back in the saddle! So Liam reached out to an old friend of his Khepri and asked her to create him a cure for being a vampire, and soon came to visit Liam from her home in Tartosa.

And thus Liam was now after a long time human again! With a few twists of the fact he for some reason still had amber glowing eyes and was still quite strong.... but you know not everything is fool proof! And If Liam wanted to ever become immortal later on in life all he had to do was ask!

So despite becoming human again, he also had a clothing makeover and though he only got a slight trim and he now is a man who is quite into self care and skincare nowdays and becoming every woman and gay mans wished dream come true (As Khepri and C1air3 would joke with their own spa facials on) and is thinking of becoming maybe his local towns vet and would love his wife to be a fellow vet nurse and run the show together so to speak.

And so that's all that we've caught up with the devilishly handsome but broody Liam Tuttle.

Age: 28

Occult: Ex Vampire

Sexual Orientation: Allosexual

Pronouns: Him/His/They

Traits: Bro - Neat - Perfectionist

*FILES*

So yeah l couldn't decide who to enter so pick whoever you'd like for Love is blind lol @slothseasims

[dreamescapeswriting]

You Weren’t Here ~ OT7 [Request]

↬↬↬Word Count: 4K

↬↬↬Genre: Platonic, ot7, angst

↬↬↬Pairing: OT7 X Fem!Reader

↬↬↬WARNINGS: Mentions of abandonment

Your whole life it had just been you and your siblings which was why it had been so weird when you first began your friendship with the rest of the boys, Yoongi had known you your whole life but when he introduced you to the boys you hadn't expected to get along so well. Now you were best friends with all seven boys and having the best time of your life working alongside them. You were a stylist for BigHit which meant wherever they went you went.

"I'm telling you it was him! I totally saw him!" Namjoon said loudly while he stuffed a spring roll into his mouth claiming that it was Jungkook who had been the one to eat your final one,

"Hmm Mmm and I'm the Queen of England, you owe me a spring roll!" You laughed loudly hearing the doorbell of your apartment door go off, you frowned - you weren't expecting anyone except for the boys and they were all with you so you wondered who it could have been.

"Did you order more food Kookie?" You asked as you gazed out of the window to see a car sitting on the side of the road next to your apartment building,

"Nope." You frowned, Yoongi got up from the sofa to see what was who it could have been he knew you had a few paparazzi following you around since you'd been spotted a little closer with the boys and himself but the records had been set straight that you were all just friends. That was when you noticed the number plate and so did Yoongi, you locked eyes with one another.

"You don't think-" You couldn't even finish the thought nevermind the sentence it was far too hard for you to even try and think about him,

"It's been seven years do you think he would just come back?" Jin scowled as he watched you and Yoongi have half of a conversation where they weren't included he wanted to know what was going on but he could tell by the pained expression on your face it wasn't a good thing you were talking about.

"What's been seven years?" Jimin questioned finally coming into the conversation and not having his head stuck in his phone like he always did,

"My erm...My dad." You stuttered out rubbing the back of your neck nervously as the doorbell rang again, he seemed to be getting impatient standing at the door.

"Your dad?" They all asked in unison, they knew the story of your father. He'd been in and out of your life since the day you'd turned 15, deciding when and where he wanted to be a part of your life and leaving you to raise your siblings for him.

"Y/n?" You were staring into space for so long you'd managed to blank out everything happening around you apart from the memories of your father. Yoongi knew how this was going to plan out, your father would come back like he always did when he needed something but leave the second he got it it was how it worked with him but you made excused for him. Telling people that it wasn't his fault he just wasn't meant to have kids, that he was doing the best he could with the situation he was in.

"Shall I tell him to leave?" Yoongi's hand being placed on your waist brought you back to the present time and you looked up at him and shook your head.

"I want to see him," You whispered brushing off your hands and slowly making your way to the front door trying to remember the last time you'd actually seen him properly without seeing him through a glass panel at a prison or a rehab centre. Yoongi was anxious for you, he'd made it clear from the start that he'd never liked your father and that was because he could see right through everything he did for you, Yoongi didn't take the bullshit excuses for him. If you made a child you shouldn't just abandon them because you couldn't be bothered to raise them, he'd done that with you and all six of your siblings. Leaving you to be the one to pick up the pieces since your mother wasn't in the picture at all.

When you finally pulled open the door your dad was standing there in a rotten flannel shirt, jeans filled with holes that didn't look designer.

"I didn't get the wrong place!" He threw his arms around your neck as though it had been 7 days since he saw you not 7 weeks but you didn't hug him back you were too shocked to even remove your hand from the door handle.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" You whispered hating that you reduced yourself to a whisper in front of him but you didn't know what else to do, every inch of your body was telling you to hug him back. That he was your father and you missed him but your head was telling you not to trust a single thing he was doing,

"Oh- You have guests...I thought you would be alone, I'm sorry-" He lied looking at you and shaking his head - he knew you had guests. He'd seen the cars in the driveway it was what he was counting on to get inside of your house - he began promising he would come back another time but you took his hand in yours telling him it was fine.

"We have some leftover food, why don't you come and join us?" He smiled kindly at you following you through to the living room where the boys all stared at him,

"Guys this is my dad, dad this is Jin, Namjoon, Hobi, Tae, Jimin, Jungkook and you already know Yoongi." They all shook your father's hand while Yoongi watched him from a distance, he already had a bad feeling about this so he was going to keep an eye on him for as long as he could.

"I don't want to take up much of your time Y/n, can I talk to you in private?" Yoongi really didn't like the thought of that but you took your father into the kitchen ready to hear anything he had to say to you.

"Do you want some tea?" You offered, tea always seemed to make you less anxious for things like these. It gave you something to hold onto while the other person spoke,

"Please." You began making it while he sat down at the marble countertop. He stared around while you made the tea you seemed to be doing quite well for yourself which meant his plan would be going along well, he shifted on the seat as you came over with some tea for him.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" You questioned sitting opposite him on the barstool and looking at the liquid instead of at him. You were determined not to look at him until you heard a sniffle fall from his lips,

"Dad?" Your voice softened and you stared at him. He had tears running down his face as he tried to speak to you the words failing whenever he tried to open his mouth. You placed your hand over the top of his to try and get him to talk,

"Breathe dad, what is it?" He sighed looking at you and shaking his head at you and holding your hand close to his chest.

"I'm so proud of you-"

"Proud?"

"Afte everything I did to you, everything I put you through and you've turned into this amazing young woman." He reached his other hand out and brushed it against your cheek smiling as he looked into your eyes.

"You've done so well and I just-" He wiped his eyes on a tissue you were giving to him.

"I want you to tell you how sorry I am for everything I put you through. From leaving and coming back all of the time, I promise it will no longer be like that." You went to say something when he started back up again.

"I'm getting my life together I promise, for you. I have a job now, it isn't much but it's something. I'm living in this nice studio apartment until I can save enough to get a job." You smiled at him genuinely feeling happy for your father to finally be piecing things back together again.

"Have you seen the others yet?" You were referring to your siblings who you hadn't seen in a while either but that was because they were all busy with their own lives.

"I'm going to see your brother tomorrow, we're going to go to dinner." You nodded along with him,

"I promise never to let you down again darling, you can always count on me." You couldn't help but feel relieved that he was finally getting things together and promising to spend time with you but you could tell there was something bothering him.

"What else is it dad?" You questioned,

"I just...I don't want you to think this is the only reason I came to you Y/n." He started off slow and looked away from you,

"Dad please."

"I need help with some rent, my boss...He messed up my payments and I just need the rest of the rent money until I can get some from work." You nodded your head at him willing to do anything now that he was promising his life was together.

"H-How much is it?" You slipped out off the barstool and walked towards your handbag that was in the kitchen, grabbing some money from your purse.

"₩675,000," Your jaw dropped open, that was more than what you were paying for your apartment but you took out the cheque book from your purse instead and wrote him out a check,

"I'll give you ₩700,000. You can get some new clothes to go and see Josh in then." You said as you looked up at him, he didn't look like he was going to be ready to go to dinner in what he was wearing and you doubt he had much better at home.

"I can't take this it's-"

"Dad please, just...Just take it okay? You're finally getting yourself together that's all I care about." You folded the cheque up and placed it into his hand while you smiled sweetly at him.

Yoongi didn't trust any of it for a second and headed out to follow your dad after he left your apartment,

"Yoongi where are you going?" You asked as he walked towards the front door,

"Ice cream, you want your favourite?" You nodded your head about to tell him you would go with him but he went alone and followed close behind your dad so he could see what the new scam he was building was. He'd never trusted your father, not since the first time he walked out and left you with your siblings. Yoongi and his family did everything they could to make sure you were okay growing up but you did most of it, attending school while working 3 jobs and raising kids was hard when you were 15 but you managed to make it work. Everyone chipped in, included your youngest sister who was 11 at the time he left, she began running lemonade stands in the summer and hot chocolate ones in the winter to help with funding the house.

"What are you doing?" Yoongi mumbled watching as your father pulled into the driveway of a very expensive looking house, he'd wanted very much for everything your father had told you to be true for your sake but he could see from this that none of it had been.

The front door to the house opened and four kids came running out to gree your dad, throwing their arms around him and calling him dad.

"What are you wearing?!" A woman dressed in a tight-fitting white dress with very expensive looking shoes,

"I just had an old job to do, you know how it is." He laughed loudly picking up the smallest girl and putting her on his shoulders, they all walked into the house happily and Yoongi frowned watching the display. If he was really desperate for money why was he living in such a grand place? Then the garage door opened beside the house and a boy around 16 came out holding some keys, he got into your father's car and backed it into the garage where Yoongi saw 4 other guys all of different value sitting there. Your father wasn't desperate for money it was another scam but how was Yoongi supposed to tell you all of this.

Sitting in the window of your apartment you waited for Yoongi to come back, the rest of the boys were all laughing and joking while playing on the switch Jungkook had brought along with him that morning.

"You want a game?" Jungkook asked waving the small controller in front of your face,

"No, I'm okay-"

"She's waiting for her ice cream." Taehyung laughed watching as your nose was practically glued to the window. It wasn't true, you were waiting for Yoongi he'd told you he had something important to tell you and you didn't like the tone of his voice when he did.

"Can't be anything too bad right? I mean- He didn't sound panicked." Jimin whispered coming up behind you and sitting in the window, you'd answered the call on speakerphone, there was nothing you kept from the boys since you were so close.

"I know but he just sounded...upset?" The door opened before you could elaborate and Yoongi was stood there without the ice cream.

"No ice cream?!" Hoseok asked looking disappointed but he soon stopped when he realised how serious Yoongi looked.

"We should be alone Y/n..." You went to get up when Jimin pulled you back down,

"Anything you have to say you can say in front of us." He told Yoongi and you nodded thinking it couldn't be anything bad so Yoongi took you over to the sofa and sat you down,

"The thing is...I followed your dad." He started off easy wanting to ease you into it and not scare you.

"Right..."

"He's not living in some studio apartment he's in this big house with erm..." He looked down at his hands, he'd been planning this speech the whole ride over here but now he was face to face with you it was harder.

"He has kids, one can't be more than 16 so I'm assuming some of them aren't his but he's got all these cars and a wife." Your brows furrowed together as you tried to piece together what Yoongi was saying, the boys understood right away what was happening and Jimin wrapped his arm around you to try and comfort you but you pushed him away as you got up.

"You're wrong, he wouldn't do that to me-" You were already tearing up because you knew deep down that it was exactly the sort of thing your father would do.

"He wouldn't...He wouldn't lie to me." You stuttered out staring at the floor as tears rolled freely down your cheeks, Yoongi reached out for your hand but you snatched it away.

"No! You're wrong! H-He wouldn't do that to me!" You yelled loudly trying not to imagine him raising someone elses children while he left his own alone and frightened.

"Y/n..." Yoongi said slowly as he looked at you confirming that it was serious, that he wouldn't lie to you about something like this.

"Take me there. I want to see it." Your voice came out colder than you wanted it to but Yoongi nodded his head,

"I'll take you tomorrow when you've calmed down-"

"I want to go tonight, I won't be able to sleep." You whispered looking around for your keys and a jacket but Yoongi held out his own keys telling you that he would drive instead.

Low and behold Yoongi was right, your father came out of the house in a suit and tie that night carrying a bag of rubbish over to a dustbin before a 4-year-old girl came rushing over to him in a gown.

"DADDY!" You flinched at the way she called him dad before he bent down and span her around, you'd imagined him doing that to you when you were a kid but all he ever did was raid your piggy bank for gambling debt money.

"Y/n?" Yoongi placed his hand on yours but you didn't move, you stared at your father as he waited by the garage a black range rover pulled out and he sat her in the back of the car. A string of family members all coming out to greet him with a kiss as he helped them inside, you slowly rolled the window down to hear what they were saying.

"Thank you for this, it'll be nice to go to a dinner that isn't business-related." The woman you were assuming was his wife said as she leant in for a kiss from him.

"I told you, my boss loves treating us." You swallowed the lump in your throat as you watched him be happy with another family the way he'd never been with you.

"Take me home." You whispered to Yoongi looking away from the house and at the floor instead.

"Please." You begged him and he started up the engine driving off towards your apartment instead.

The boys were staying over that night, they didn't want you to be alone after everything that had happened but it was 3 am and you were sitting on the sofa with Yoongi and Jin just staring at the hot chocolate Jin had made you.

"Y/n I'm really sorry," Yoongi started but you shook your head at him, it wasn't his fault your father was the way he was.

"I fell for his lies like I always do Yoongi it's not your fault." You whispered taking a sip from the cup as Jin wrapped a blanket over you and him, he was sitting with your head resting against his shoulder.

"Do you want us to say anything?" You shook your head at Jin's question it would just cause more hassle than it was worth but Yoongi wasn't willing to let this go just like that. You'd been so happy all morning but now you were upset and no one fucked with the people he loved. Especially not your father.

"You should do something though...He has your money." Jin whispered but you yawned and shook your head telling him it was nothing,

"Just leave it, I'm tired I think I'm going to go to sleep...You should too." You told them both but they just stared at one another ready to come up with a plan to deal with your father.

The next morning you woke up to loud yelling and people screaming,

"What the fuck?" You asked throwing yourself out of the bed and heading down to see your father trying to push his way into the house but Yoongi had the chain on the door.

"She doesn't want to hear from you-"

"You don't get to speak for my daughter!" Namjoon's gasp brought Yoongi back to the room and you stared at the door,

"Let him in." You whispered, Yoongi went to protest against it not wanting you to be any more upset than you already were,

"Let him in." You repeated coming down to the bottom floor and staring at the door as you waited for your father to come into the apartment. The chain was removed from the door and your father rushed in, dressed in the same tattered clothes as before and you calmly walked into the living room.

"T-They took everything! They jumped me in the street!" You nodded your head and turned around to face your father who was crying heavily,

"You've gotten good at that, better than before." You said calmly as you looked at him feeling nothing but disgust as you looked at the man who was supposed to be your father.

"Good at what?" He wiped his eyes as he continued to fake his crying,

"Faking your emotions, acting. It's gotten good...You almost had me." You laughed but Yoongi walked into the room standing behind you to try and give you some support but you didn't need it.

"What do your other family think of it? Or is your act with them real?" You folded your arms over your chest staring him down, he went to back out of the living room but Jin and Namjoon took place at the door to stop him from escaping. They weren't going to let him get away with what he did so easily and the fact that he was going to pull another stunt over you was unforgivable.

"Other family...What are you talking about?" He stuttered out as he made eye contact with you and Yoongi who was glaring at him,

"You! You followed me home last night! You watched me!" He yelled pointing his finger at Yoongi as he began to yell out curse words,

"Don't! Don't you dare pin this on someone else! You have another family! A whole other life!?" You'd finally lost your cool, you weren't going to let him get away with this. Seeing him now and seeing how he was going to try something again sent you over the edge and you lost it.

"I started a new family, so what?" He told you as though it was no big deal and you scoffed at him.

"You didn't even finish this family off first!" You yelled loudly throwing your hands up in the air in defeat,

"You abandoned us! I had to be more than a sister to my siblings, I had to be a mother, a father, the main provider! Everything!" All the pent up anger you had for him was spilling out as you finally unleashed everything you'd felt towards him over the years.

"No! I love you! I didn't abandon you!... I just...I couldn't do the parent thing!" You scoffed at him, he couldn't do the whole parenting thing but he was raising another woman's kids,

"How long have you been with her?" You questioned folding your arms over your chest and demanding the answers you deserved,

"9 years in December," You laughed at him again but this time it was out of pitty, nine years. He hadn't seen you in seven which meant he'd been lying ever since he walked out on you when you were 15 and seeing them before he left.

"Please! I never meant to lie! I love you-"

"Stop saying that! You don't love me! You don't even know me!" You yelled looking at him as he shook his head at you, crying those fake tears once again but you could see right through this time,

"I'm your dad! Who knows you better than me?!"

"They do!" You yelled pointing at the boys who were all ready to throw your father out of the house, Yoongi took your hand in his to calm you own,

"Get out, I never want to see you again." You spat at him as Namjoon and Jin both pulled his arms towards the front door while he yelled about how he didn't care, that you were nothing but a free bank to him.

"I only came because you were in that paper with these guys! You think I'd ever come back to you! I don't need you!" He screamed right as the door was slammed in his face, the rest of the boys left you and Yoongi in the living room, he knew you the best so he was going to be the best and comforting you right now.

"Y/n?" Yoongi whispered but you just turned around and cried into his arms, sobbing hysterically as he held you close to him.

"I'll make sure he never comes near you again, okay?" You nodded as he held you close to him not letting go for even a second as you cried into his chest promising not to leave your side until you were ready.

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples @fan-ati--c @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @innersooya​ 

[the-greta-van]

A Change is Gonna Come

Chapter 1

I never thought I would be here right now. I realized that the band Greta Van Fleet consisted of the 4 boys I used to go to school with Josh, Jake, Sam, and Daniel, and me Amara Jones was still utterly in love with the lead singer, Joshua Michael Kiszka.

It was the second weekend of Austin City Limits, I was originally here to see Billie Eilish but things definitely took a turn of events. I had heard that Greta Van Fleet was performing today as well, I had heard of them in the past but never really sat down to hear their music, of course I had heard that they were the “Led Zeppelin cover band” but I had too see for myself.

I started making my way to Ladybird stage, it was probably the hottest day so far, I wanted to make sure I didn’t pass out from heat exhaustion so I wore something more revealing today than i usually would I was wearing a sage green tube top with a pair of black shorts and my tie dye vans. I had also added a little touch to my makeup today I did these little gold triangles almost right below my eyes starting at my cheeks and I added a diamond at the points where the triangles ended. It was a good day today, I started making my way through the crowd to get a good view of the band, I was almost right in the middle there weren’t a lot of people around me which I was happy for. I wasn’t very much of a people person anyways so it was a win in my book.

The sun was starting to set slowly and I see the boys walk out on stage, they look so familiar yet so much like strangers. I see the drummer, guitarist and the base player all in sync and they start playing When the Curtain Falls, one of my favorites. They way they all look on stage is just so mesmerizing, the vocals are just pure bliss, every note is just spot on. I catch the lead singer glancing at me every now and then… is he? or am I off my rockers?.

They get to the last song on the setlist and that’s when it hits me… it’s the Kiszka brothers and Daniel Wagner from high school. I knew they looked familiar, but I was brought to reality when I heard the first few cords on the piano that was turning into their newest single Light my Love, it was another favorite of mine, it’s just the most beautiful song and the lyrics are so meaningful yet so mesmerizing. Josh was saying his thank you’s to the crowd and ended up saying a quick little something before he started singing. He said “This next song is about love and even thought you have to leave someone behind you realized that… you never really stop loving them” saying all of that while staring at me.

*FLASHBACK*

It was senior year of high school. My family had moved from Texas to Frankenmuth because my dad had gotten a job offer, which I was happy for but it meant that I was gonna be the new mysterious kid in school. “Amara Jones?” I had heard from someone behind me, “yeah that’s me” I replied, “Hey i’m sam. uhm.. i know you’re new here and i just kinda wanted to show you around if you’re up for it?” the boy asked. He was taller and his hair was brown and just below his shoulders and he was cute… really cute actually I guess must’ve stood out… I mean let’s face it I was new and I looked like a new born calf without its mother. “Yeah sure” I replied with.

“So tell me, where did you move from?” he asked, “I moved here from Texas, my dad got a job offer over here and couldn’t pass it up… so here i am” I told him. “Well i want you to meet my best friend Daniel or as we call him Danny” he told me, “We?” I questioned “Yeah me and my brothers” he said, “Are your brothers still in school?” I asked “No, they are 3 years older than me so they are just waiting for me to graduate so we can actually start something bigger with our band” he replied with “A band? that sounds amazing” I said “yeah… it is actually”

I was invited by sam to one of the band practices this weekend. I was actually very excited about it, I was also meeting his brothers for the first time I didn’t know what to expect honestly was that a bad thing?. I found out that we actually didn’t live far from each other just a few houses down, so it wasn’t that long of a walk. I was walking up to their house and I could hear someone singing it sounded absolutely beautiful but I didn’t expect who I saw singing that beautiful tune. He was a little shorter than sam not much but still somehow taller than me, his hair was shaved on the sides but curly on top it suited him nicely… perfect almost. “Hi i’m Josh” he said with the prettiest smile “Hi i’m Amara” I replied with an extended hand, he took his hand and shook mine he held a lingering gaze my way. Then another boy came up to me who looked identical to Josh but had longer hair “Hey i’m Jake, Josh’s twin” he said with a hand in front of him, I took his hand and replied “Amara, it’s nice to meet you”. Then one more boy comes up he’s taller than everyone he has black curly hair right below his shoulders and these beautiful greenish hazel eyes that pierce right though your heart. “Hey i’m Danny, it’s nice to meet you” he said with the prettiest smile and a wave, “Hey i’m Amara” I replied with a wave back. “And this is the band” sam says.

*PRESENT TIME*

It finally all clicked… Sam was on bass and keys, Josh was singing, Jake was on guitar and Danny was on drums. How could I have not noticed it sooner? now I noticed all of them finding me in the crowd, Josh had obviously seen me for quite a while and then Jake and lastly Sam, I don’t know what it was about Sam he held this gaze that was indescribable almost as if he wanted to run off stage just to come talk to me. It sent shivers down my spine. The sent had finally ended and I watched Sam intently run over and hug Danny. I could see them in a short conversation, then Sam points my way and Danny just visibly gets a giddy and excited almost as if he had missed me?

I wanted to get out of here as quick as possible I didn’t know why honestly? maybe I didn’t want to run into the boy I used to be head over heels with? probably. The festival was absolutely swamped there were people everywhere and it would take forever to get out of here, I know I could go back stage to the entrance there but I would take this risk of seeing the boys there. “Screw it” I told myself and just went for it, I was almost to the door when I heard this familiar laughter. I knew it from anywhere, I turned around to see the boys already making their way towards me, I was screwed.

“Amara?” I knew who it was instantly “Hey Josh it’s good to see you” I told him, I didn’t expect to be brought into a major bear hug but here we are. I could feel our heartbeats racing, after we let go I was engulfed with another hug by Sam “Hey Sammy” I said “It’s been too long Amara how have you been?” he asked “I’ve been good.” I was short and too the point why was I still dreading it? “Hey stranger” Jake says from over to my right with a small wave “Hey” I replied with a small smile, then I see Danny making his way towards us “Amara?!” he said literally almost running which was shocking “Hey Danny!” I said wrapping him in the biggest hug. Out if everyone Danny was the only one who I was really excited to see, of course I missed all of them but with Danny… it was different. “So you moved back to Texas after high school?” Jake asked me, “Yeah I needed it. I needed to come home” “Frakenmuth wasn’t home?” Danny asked, I didn’t know how to answer that. I felt like blurting out “You guys were the only ones that made Frankemuth home” but that wouldn’t be a good idea right? “It was for a little bit.” I told him. I could feel Josh’s eyes on me almost as if they were longing to tell me something but I didn’t know what.

The boys changed a lot in the years I didn’t see them. Josh’s hair is now curly all the way around and he grew some facial hair that really suits him nicely. Jake had looked the same except for his hair being longer it’s almost as long as mine. Sam cut his hair it’s right at his ears and he’s starting to grow some facial hair as well, not much but it’s still visible. Danny still looks amazing as ever, his curly hair had gotten really long and he added some blond streaks too it that went really well with his natural black color. It had been four years since I had seen them last and the nostalgia was setting in big time.

“I know we haven’t seen each other in a while, maybe we could catch up? we were gonna go out for some drinks if you wanna join?” Josh had offered. “Yeah that actually sounds perfect right now” I said. It wouldn’t hurt to catch up with them I mean we used to be inseparable until we just drifted apart, after the boys had graduated they ended up releasing and EP and having little gigs here and there, then it eventually turned into a tour after they released their first album. It was hard to deal with given the fact we saw each other everyday. We would text here and there but they were just so busy to get ahold of so I just stopped trying. “We are almost there” Jake said looking at the walking directions on his phone. Me and Danny were ahead of everyone Josh caught up with me and Danny, Danny to my left and Josh to my right. “So are you working currently?” Josh had asked “I had worked over the summer and saved up so for right now no. I’ve still been writing though” I told him “Short stories and poems still right?” he had remembered what I liked to write most of the time “Actually i’ve been writing songs and i picked up singing believe it or not” Josh had whipped his head around to look at me and he stopped dead in his tracks “You’re writing AND singing? where’s Amara and what have you done to her?” he said jokingly “Looks like you’re gonna competition Kiszka” Danny said as we walked up to this little bar in downtown Austin. “SHOTS FOR ALL OF US” Sam yelled at the bartender as we walked in. This is definitely gonna be a night to remember.

We are all several drinks in and having a really good time. Everyone wanted to hear about my songs that I’ve written “Maybe we should meet up at the nearest studio and record something some day? How long are you guys in Texas?” I asked “we are staying until next weekend because have to perform again at acl” Danny had told me “How about we all go to the studio tomorrow? we can hear what Jones has been working on?”Jake said looking at me to see if it was alright, “Yeah sure we can do that” I told everyone. Everyone was so excited to hear my songs and possibly my voice if I felt like singing, I guess they didn’t expect me to go the music route with my life. I guess I didn’t really expect it either, I had always loved music and writing. I had always wrote poems or short stories so I figured it wouldn’t be hard to write songs either and well… it was but I have a good way with words so the lyrics just flow when I write.

We were all meeting up at the studio today. I was nervous, I didn’t know what they would think of my songs honestly. I had some connections through the years and I had actually sold a couple of songs to some artists. We’re they just doing this to get my music? no that would be absolutely ridiculous. “Hey guys” I said as I walked in the studio, “Hey” all the boys said at once and I smiled to myself. “Soooo? watcha got?” Danny asked me, “Well I have a few things i do wanna share and possibly sing for you guys if that’s alright?” I told him “We would be honored” I looked over the the entrance where Josh is standing, of course showing up late like always. “Alright then, let’s do it” I said with a smile.

Jake had asked me if I wanted him to do anything on the guitar and even sam asked if i wanted anything on the piano, “I feel like i should do a cappella right now, feels like a safe move” I said from inside the booth, giving the producer a thumbs up to start recording. “crash against wave upon wave, woah to strange horizons oooh…” I started singing an untitled song that I had written, maybe the boys could help me with the title soon but for right now I was feeling it. “Woah as you can tell this was the age of the caravel” I was singing in my lower register but I always felt like this song needed a different voice singing it, maybe Josh could help with that? I finished the song and I could feel every single pair of eyes on me that were in the room. “That was absolutely amazing Amara holy shit” I heard Danny say from outside the booth, “I didn’t think it was that good-“ I started “No Amara that was absolutely incredible” Josh said. I don’t think anyone had any words they all looked speechless, mesmerized almost. “Funny thing is… i actually don’t have a name for it yet” I admitted to everyone they gave me a confused look “How can someone write an amazing song like that and not have a name yet?” Sam had asked me “I’m not sure Sammy? maybe i need instrumentals put into it? because it’s not a full song yet it’s just lyrics at this point” the boys all have each other knowing looks which was crazy how they could speak to each other without a single word “I think we can help with the instrumentals” Danny said throwing his arm over my shoulders and giving me the a beautiful smile.

Josh helped me give the untitled song a name “Caravel” he said before we left the studio that night. I had showed them a few other songs after that, they loved them all which I was thankful for. “hmm?” I said looking over to Josh “Caravel… that first song you sang for us, the name should be caravel” he told me I looked at him with the biggest smile which he returned back “I like that, thank you Josh, seriously thank you” I said. Josh just stared at me like he needed to say something or he needed something he had been looking for. He started closing in the space between us and before I knew it his lips were on mine, the smallest sweetest, little kiss was planted on my lips, the butterflies were going crazy in my stomach, it finally registered was was going on in my head so I kissed him back. His lips felt the exact same way they did before he left me in frakenmuth for tour.

*FLASHBACK*

I was dreading this day so much. Josh had told me that they all had something to tell me and that it’s “Not the best of news” we’re his exact words. I didn’t know what to expect honestly? he said to meet him at his house in the garage, which was out usual hangout spot. I was walking up to their house and I saw Jake, Sam and Danny loading up their stuff… in went Sam’s bass from what I could see Danny’s drums were already in there and Jake had just finished putting his amps and guitars in the back. I saw Josh standing in the garage making sure they had gotten everything. “Hi” I said with my arms crossed over my chest just standing a few feet away from Josh “Hey… we need to talk-“ he started “No Josh it’s fine i can see what’s going on and i don’t want to talk about it right now. i’m not mad i- i just can’t” I told him, it was obvious they were leaving for tour. I was happy for them, I was I just knew it was gonna hurt so bad because I wasn’t gonna see them everyday. “Look Amara i would have told you sooner but i didn’t know how, i knew you would be crushed i just never found the right time to do it” he said with his eyes half way glossing over, “Hey, hey we aren’t gonna cry okay? you’ll be back before you know it” I told him. “I just wanted to do this before i left” he said before his lips crashing into mine, we had both been waiting for this a long time. I put my hand on his chest right over his heart and it was beating so fast I thought it was gonna come flying out of his chest, our lips moved in sync until he pulled away with a small smile “let me go say bye to the rest of the boys. I won’t keep y’all waiting okay?”

*PRESENT*

That was the first and last time I had kissed Josh kiszka until now. We pulled away and broke out in a smile “Are you thinking what i’m thinking?” Josh asked me “Yeah the night y’all left for tour?” I asked “Yep” he replied “You know i was never mad i was just upset that you guys got taken away from me. Which is really selfish i know but once i moved from frankenmuth i knew i wouldn’t see you guys again and that’s what hurt”. we walked over and we sat down on the curb in front of the studio while everyone else left for the night. “Why did you move back?” he asked me, did I even really know why I moved back? “I think because everywhere i went in frankenmuth reminded me or you or the boys. Josh i liked you a lot before you left but i never told you-“ I tried saying before Josh interrupted “I know Amara… I liked you too but we both know it wouldn’t have worked at the time especially when we left” he told me truthfully, and he was right. I gave him a look knowing he was right. He looked over at me and I looked at him, every time our brown eyes would meet I’d get a million butterflies in my stomach. What was Joshua Michael Kiszka still doing to my heart?

[meganwritesfanfics]

Fresh Bruises (Josh Lyman x Reader) Part 3

Warning this story contains mentions of Domestic Abuse 

It was another half an hour to almost an hour before Abby reappeared. Donna had fallen asleep her head resting on Josh’s shoulder. He knew he should be tired, he should be exhausted, it was 3 in the morning, and he had only gotten maybe an hour of sleep the night before. But he couldn’t sleep, he barely blinked because all he could see was Y/N lying motionless in his arms. 

“Josh,” Abby started when suddenly a dozen secret service agents came into the waiting area. The staff knew what to do as they quickly ushered everyone in the room to a different waiting room, the commotion waking Donna. 

After the room had been secured President Bartlett and Leo walked in, and Josh quickly rose to his feet. 

“Sir you didn’t have to come,” He started but Bartlett just pulled him into his embrace. 

“Nonsense Josh, have you heard anything?” 

“The surgery went well.” Abby said and Bartlett quickly patted Josh on the shoulder with a smile on his face. 

“But,” Josh said noticing that Abby’s demeanor wasn’t a happy one. 

“But, her head injury was worse than they had originally thought.” Abby said and Josh sat back down looking up at her as a child would look up at a parent.  “She’s in a coma Josh.” 

Josh just stared at Abby, mouth agape. 

“Oh Josh,” Donna said her voice cracking hard as she wrapped her arms around him, trying her best not to cry. 

 “What are our options, are their specialists we can see what…” Jed started as he and Abby walked down to talk. 

Josh wasn’t sure when Leo sat down next to him, but the next thing he knew Leo was grasping his hand tightly. He didn’t say anything, didn’t try to tell Josh everything was going to be ok. He just sat with him, letting Josh know he was there. 

More time passed and Josh hadn’t spoken, hadn’t moved, hadn’t cried since Abby told him the news. 

“Josh,” A voice spoke softly and he turned to see Leo still sitting next to him, but now he had a cup of coffee in his hands, Josh noticed there was another cup sitting on the table next to him. “Abby said she doesn’t think there is going to be anymore news for a while, why don’t we take you home so you can shower.” 

“No, I have to stay, Y/N might…” Josh wanted to say wake up, but he couldn’t bring himself to because he still hadn’t fully processed everything that was happening. 

“Abby is going to stay with Donna, they will be here when we get back, but Josh I think you would feel much better after a shower and a change of clothes.” Leo insisted 

For the first time since they had gotten to the hospital, Josh finally looked down at himself. He was covered in blood, his white shirt was stained red and his shaking hands were caked with Y/N’s blood. 

Before he even had a chance to say anything else, Leo was pulling him to his feet and ushering him out of the hospital. 

Neither of the men tried to speak as they made their way to Leo’s car nore did they speak on the drive to Josh’s apartment. 

Josh stayed staring at his hands trying to get them to stop shaking. His breathing was erratic and he was trying not to have a full blown panic attack, but it was incredibly difficult as he sat with the blood from the love of his life covering him. 

“Josh,” Leo said as he looked over at him noticing the sound of his breathing. “Josh, you need to breath.” 

“What if she doesn’t wake Leo, she is my whole world. I can’t…” 

“Don’t think like that Josh, Dr. Bartlett is making sure that we get every specialist in the country on the case. Y/N is going to have nothing but the best care, Jed has insisted on it.” 

“The President can’t…” Josh started. 

“Josh, you are family, he’s going to do whatever he can to help you.” 

The young man couldn’t help but get choked up hearing this. He had always considered the staff of the rest wing and the President to be his family. They had all been through highs and lows together, but actually hearing the word family come out of the Chief of Staffs mouth, really solidified everything. 

By the time they had reached the apartment Josh had calmed down. He felt like for the first time that whole evening/morning he could breath. 

The two men made their way into the apartment. Josh quickly rushed around picking up the papers and boxes that littered the apartment. He couldn’t remember the last time Leo had been to his place, or if he ever had, but he didn’t want him to see how terribly disorganized he was. 

“Josh, I have seen your office, I expected your house to look much worse, Y/N must be a good influence on you.” Leo laughed causing Josh to stop looking back with a smile on his face. “Now go shower and get changed.” 

Josh started his way towards the bathroom, but as he passed each room his mind began to flood of the memories he and Y/N had there. 

It was 2 am by the time Josh had finally gotten home from work, and instead of going to bed, he immediately made his way to the couch pulling out the files he had brought home, to read over them before he had meetings the next day. He probably had gotten through 10 pages before he was passed out on the couch. 

“Josh,” He heard someone whisper but he didn’t move he just kept his eyes closed, his hands barely hanging onto the files. Someone sighed as they reached down to grab the files out of his hands, and then he felt a blanket be placed over him. 

In an instant he opened his eyes to see Y/N standing above him and he smiled as he grabbed her waist pulling her on top of him causing her to squeal. 

“Why didn’t you come up to bed.” She said as she snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. 

“I had some stuff I need to finish before my meetings tomorrow.” He yawned kissing the top of her head. 

“You know that if you try to read those files this late that you are just going to fall asleep. You always do.” She giggled. 

“And you are always there to tuck me in. Maybe that's the real reason I do it.” 

“You are quite a frustrating man Joshua Lyman.” 

“But you love me none the less.” 

“Oh I do love you, I love you so much.” Y/N said looking into his eyes with such love that Josh thought he might cry. 

“I love you too Y/N, more than I ever thought possible.” Josh said kissing her. 

The two spent the night on the couch, and although he woke up sore, Josh still credited it as one of the best nights of his life. 

Josh couldn’t hold back his tears as he continued past the kitchen 

“You are not the only one with a career Josh!” Y/N screamed as she turned back to look at the food she had cooking on the stove. 

“I’m not saying you don’t I’m just saying…” 

“You are just saying that your career should always come first and that I should drop every single thing that I am doing to support you in your career.” Y/N hissed as she aggressively turned the stone off, turning back to look at him. 

“Well yes since my career actually m…” He started but his eyes went wide when he realized what he was about to say. 

“Because your career actually matters, is that what you were going to say Josh,” Y/N said, the anger completely gone from her voice. “Go ahead and eat. I'm not hungry anymore.” She said as she stormed upstairs. 

“Shit,” Josh thought as he made his way after her. 

As he cautiously made his way towards their bedroom, he could hear the sound of Y/N crying and he quickly walked in. 

“Y/N,” He started and that’s when he saw her packing. “What are you doing.” 

“I’m going to go stay with Ainsley,” She sniffed wiping the tears from her eyes. 

“You would rather stay with a republican than with me,” Josh teased but Y/N just gave him a devastated look. “Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t mean what I said.” 

“My job matters Josh, I know its not the life altering decisions like you make but to those kids, the ones whom I am their only voice during a time that is extremely traumatic for them, it matters.” Y/N said her voice cracking hard, 

Josh quickly rushed to her side putting his hands on her face. “I know that honey, I do. I was just upset I really didn’t mean it. Your job absolutely matters. I am constantly in awe of what you do and how you help people. I brag about your job to everyone. My mother when she calls she asks how your job is going long before she even asks about me.” 

Y/N laughed as she wiped her tears away. 

“I was just upset because I really wanted you to come to the gala with me. I feel a lot more confident when I have you next to me.” 

“Josh, you were plenty confident when I met you.” Y/N said as she back away turning back as she started to unpack the suitcase. 

“It was a nice little act,  but in realty, I feel my most confident and strongest, when you are by my side holding my hand, because I know if I have you I can face anything.” Josh said as he wrapped his arms around her waist burying his face in the crook of her neck. 

“For how often you are an ass, you really know how to make up for it.” Y/N sighed as she turned around kissing him softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

“I’ve learned to admit when I’m wrong. Because I would rather grovel for your forgiveness than lose you.” He said seriously. 

Y/N smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

“You won’t ever lose me Josh.” 

By the time Josh made it into their bedroom he was a sobbing mess. Every room in the house gave him flashes of the beautiful memories he had with Y/N, and he felt like everything was slipping away. 

Josh slowly rolled over, for the first time in a long time he had actually slept well. And he knew exactly what the reason was. As he opened his eyes he smiled looking at the beautiful girl laying next to him asleep. 

Last night was the first night Y/N and Josh had spent together. And as Josh took in the sight of her snuggled up next to him, her beautiful Y/H/C against her Y/S/C, he realized that he was in love with her. 

“You are staring, Joshua.” Y/N smiled as she opened her eyes smiling at him. 

“It’s hard not to stare, you are so beautiful Y/N.” Josh said as he leaned forward kissing her. 

“You are just saying that because I am lying naked in bed with you.” She laughed. 

“You could be wearing 30 layers of clothes and I would still think you are the most beautiful woman in the world.” 

Y/N kissed Josh again as she pulled him closer. 

“I mean I’m not saying that you being naked in bed with me is a bad thing by any means.” Josh laughed as he flipped over so he was on top as he kissed Y/N passionately. 

He kissed her for a while before the two broke apart and Josh stared down at her. She looked up eyes filled with curiosity.

“What’s wrong Josh,” Y/N smiled. 

“I love you.” Josh said. “I love you Y/N.” 

Y/N stared at Josh for a moment eyes wide. “I love you too Josh.” 

As Josh got in the shower and he watched as Y/N’s blood dripped off of him and down the drain, he let out a devastated scream as he pounded his fists against the tile.

[stxvercgersslut]

omg could you do a Chris Evans x Toddler!Reader where he’s her stepdad and readers dad is always ‘to busy’ to see her and she’s really disappointed so readers mom & Chris comfort her🥺

A/n: YESSS!!!! Omg I love this I love this I love this!!!! It’s actually the cutest ask I’ve gotten 😭❤️ I just can’t not write this! I also kinda changed it a little so that it’s just Chris comforting her sooooo I hope you like it.

Warnings: Language, dissapointmemt, a whole lot of fluff.

The one that cares

Chris hadn’t expected to fall in love as quickly as he had fell in love with Delilah. She was the love of his life from the moment that he had met her on the set of one of his latest movies. She’d only been there to visit her brother on set, yet his eyes had instantly fell on hers as soon as she walked into the room. He couldn’t just let her leave, so of course that they he had went straight up to her, talked to her, found out her name and inevitably asked her out. It was a quick cycle done in around 10 minutes of meeting her, but Chris couldnt have been happier. This type of love was real. Passionate and just over all the one thing that he had been searching for his entire life. Delilah was it for him the second he’d met her.

Around 2 months into dating Chris had been introduced to you, this small 2 year old little girl with a hug smile on your face the second you’d met him. It was like an instant connection from the beginning. Of course it had taken you a few weeks to get used to him being around. But after a while you finally began to enjoy Chris’s company. Especially since he was round at the house almost every single day to visit your mother.

After around a year later Chris proposed to your mother and on your 4th birthday, the they got married. It was more of a celebration for you then it was for them. Especially since It was practically your birthday present. You’d been so excited. Chris could remeber how happy you had been that day, standing right next to your mother and giggling happily during the actual wedding. He’d even picked you up and held you in his arms during your mother’s vows. Wanting to keep you as involved with this wedding as physically possible. It was clear from the beginning that Chris loved you as if you were his own. Which was what drew Delilah to him.

Finally a father figure. Not that you didn’t have a dad, but Chris was around a whole lot more then your asshole of a dad was. And that in itself just wasn’t fair.

Josh, your biological father, had been pretty much out of the picture since you were 2. Only occasionally being able to see you since he always claimed that he was ‘busy’ when he was usually out at some bar making out with any random women that would throw themselves that him. It was clear from the start that Josh didn’t give the tiniest shit about you, or even the fact that you were his child.

Even when he actually bothered to show up, usually because either Chris or Delilah had forced him to actually pay attention to you and reminding him that you were just a kid, he wasn’t even there. Not really. He just sat there, didn’t even play with you, just sat their and watched as you played on your own with you teddy’s. And even then he didn’t stay too long. Clearly not liking the fact that Delilah had found happiness in an A-list celebrity.

Not only did Josh’s lack of being around for you upset you but it also Angered Chris as well as Delilah. However Chris was even more furious with Josh then the both of you combined. He hated how upset you got, how heartbroken you were when Josh just sat there or didn’t even bother to show up. But what hurt him the most was watching you sob into either his chest or your mothers chest right after being reluctantly informed that once again Josh wasn’t coming. To see your excited little face switch so quickly into one of pain and heartbreak was enough to completely piss Chris off to the point where he wanted to actually beat the shit out of Josh.

Today, for example, was once again one of the days that Chris always dreaded. Today had been the day that Josh was finally supposed to come over and spend some time with you, after 3 whole months of not seeing you he was finally coming over. Yet 5 minutes before he was actually supposed to be there he called. Of course he did.

Chris groaned as he looked towards you before back to his phone “sorry sweetheart, I’ll be back in a second” he announced before finally leaving the room after kissing your head gently. Despite all the disappointment you were still excited to see Josh. Of course you were. Diliah wasn’t there today, in fact she was working today so it was just him. Thankfully Chris got the day off so that he could be there for you when the inevitable happened.

“Hello?” He began, not even giving him a chance to speak “Josh where the fuck are you? You’re supposed to be here in 5 fucking minutes” Chris spoke not giving a shit that he was being rude, Josh didn’t deserve the nice side to Chris. Not at all.

“Yeah.....about that....My work called me a few minutes ago and said that I need to go in. Something about needing extra staff today” yet another excuse! This man was truely an asshole.

“BULLSHIT!” Chris spat, venom seeping from his words as he did. Now he was pissed. “It’s not bullshit man! I have work!” Josh lied. Usually if this happened then Delilah would be there to take the phone away from him before he said something that would ruin the entire ‘agreement’ but today she wasn’t there to stop him, so he was free to say whatever he wanted. Within reason of course.

“Listen you asshole!” He began, suddenly becoming insanely aware of the fact that he was being too loud. Almost startling you. “We both know that you don’t have to work today!” Now he was a little quieter “and we both know you’re just going to go to a bar or a strip club! You’re an asshole and all you want is to fuck with y/n’s mind! She’s an innocent child who fucking loved you no matter what yet you don’t even care about her?!? What kind of parent are you? Dads should be there for their kids but you don’t even care about her!” This wasn’t Chris talking, this was the anger that had finally been allowed out.

“What?!? First of all You have no right to say any of that! And second of all yes I do care about her! I’m just busy!” He defended, still doing a shitty job at it.

“No you don’t! You don’t give a shit!” Chris yelled angrily, not caring for any more of his bullshit, so he hung up. Now completely stressed about the fact that he had to go and break your heart again. Oh this was going to hurt a whole lot more then usual.

After a good 2 minutes of mentally preparing himself for the heartache, Chris finally walked back to the front room where you were still happily colouring in a drawing that you had made for Josh. Little did you know Josh never took those drawings, Chris was always the one to take them and hide them in his room since your biological father always ‘forgot’ the pictures. Chris just wanted to spare your feelings that’s all. Didn’t want to add anymore heartache into the mix of disappointment.

Quickly Chris sat down on the couch opposite you. Watching you for a few moments before finally speaking“Hey babygirl, can you come sit with me for a minute please?” He asked carefully, to which you instantly stood up and wandered over to him with a cute little wiggle to your step since you were excited. Soon climbing up onto the couch and getting onto his lap like usual which he never actually seemed to mind since it meant that you felt comfortable around him. “What’s wrong Daddy?” You asked, already seeing the lines of fear registering in his features as he began to think. Every single day he thanked the gods above that you’d accepted him into the family.

“Your real dads not coming today” rip the bandage of as quick as physically possible. If he did that then he’d have more time to comfort you if needed. God this was going to be so hard “.....I know you really wanted to see him today but he got really busy.....baby I’m so sorry that he did this to you and it’s so not fair at all” he stated. Watching as your bright e/c gorgous eyes dissapeared and were once again replaced with disappointment. On what world was any of this not heartbreaking to see? Exactly it was devastating. Especially when he loved you so much.

“My dads......not coming?” You asked, pain already beginning to seap into your voice.

“No baby.....I’m so sorry...” he spoke, his voice already breaking and tears already forming in his eyes. How could someone be so cruel to someone so kindhearted?

“But he.....he said he would......” you stutter. That in itself was enough to cause tears to spill from Chris’s eyes. Never had he ever thought that you’d get this heartbroken over being disappointed. After so many disappointments he would have thought that you would have gotten used it already.

“I know I know....but he’s done this before sweetheart.....he’s known for it.”

It unfortunately didn’t take long for you to break down into floods of tears, already beginning to break Chris’s heart even more then he ever thought that it could. You were worse then heartbroken, in fact you were devastated.

He couldn’t take it anymore, seeing you so broken was hurting him. So before you knew it he was picking you up and literally placing you on his hip so you wer closer to him. No way was he letting you just wallow in self pity. Not when your birthday was in 3 days. You were so close to being 5! How could he just leave you to cry on your birthday weekend. Exactly he couldn’t. “Okay baby It’s so close to your birthday and I’m not letting you be sad! So what do you wanna do? It’s your weekend starting now, so what do you wanna do?” He asked, hopeful that giving you the option of what to do would perk you up a little. Yet you just continued to cry into his shoulder, extremely angry, upset and scared with everything that had gone wrong today.

“It’s okay....it’s okay sweetheart just cry..let it all out.” He soothed, rubbing your back reassuringly as he did “Daddy’s here. I’m never gonna leave you sweetheart. I promise you I’m not going anywhere unless I have to. But I’ll always come back okay? I will always come back”

But thankfully, after 20 minutes of just rocking you in his arms and softly humming along to the words of your favourite Disney songs (being a big fan of Disney had its perks of course) you finally stopped crying. Now completely registering what Chris has asked you a few moments ago. “C.....can we go....to Disney land?” You asked quietly, afraid that you’d get shot down.

This was a big ask from you, one that Chris should have Beene expecting! Especially since you’d wanted to go to Disney land for so long yet you’d always been knocked back. Although, today was different. Today Chris has given you free rain on whatever you wanted to do today. So how could he disappoint and tell you no? “Hmmmm okay sweetheart Disney land it is! Just me and you? Or do you want me to ask mommy if she wants to come too?” He questioned, literally just letting you make all the decisions today since he’d said it was your day. If this was how he would get you to calm down completely then so be it. To avoid having any fans spotting him he’d have to make a few phone calls, maybe see if he could use a private jet in order to make sure you weren’t see. Especially since your were his step-daughter and thankfully not one knew about you just yet. He’d been able to keep you out of the public eye.

“Mommy’s working, just you and me” you spoke, for a four year old you were learning quickly which made him quite happy to know you were learning. “Alright sweetheart then lets go.” He spoke.

And that day he stayed true to his word.

Tag list: @jtargaryen18 @et-lesailes @chuckbass-love @cevans-fics

[buckaroosboogara]

911 week - Day 3:

“ Whatever you do, please don’t look.” + hurt

(1600~ words, May and Athena. Tw: suicide attempt.)

@911week

May had been waiting for this day for months. 

Her ride-along with a police officer that was part of being a dispatcher at the 911 call center. 

Her mother was anything but pleased when she brought up the topic and said no without a second thought. 

But she wasn't about to give up, no. 

After all, she was a Grant through and through, both her parents' stubbornness was in her veins and she would make it, no matter what. And after weeks of negotiations, she did it. 

But she never wanted this to happen. May would have done anything to undo the day if she could. Now it was too late. 

Everything started when Maddie told her Officer Williams was outside the call center to pick her up.

Athena had requested him and his partner to give her daughter the ride-along, trusting him with one of her most precious things in the world.

She thanked the woman and looked for her jacket, her phone, and her face mask. Josh walked her to the elevator and wished her luck before she went down to the entrance floor and found the officer.

"Ready for the day Ms. Grant?" He asked and she rolled her eyes, placing her mask on her face.

"I know you since I was like 10 Matthew."

"Okay then, ready for the day, May?"

"Let's do this Officer Williams." May said, getting into the police cruiser. She fist-bumped Officer Vargas and she started her ride-along.

There were some light calls at first, some private property trespass, and noise complaints. Then some disorderly conduct and infractions and May was kind of getting bored.

But she couldn't give her mother that pleasure, so she smiled and nodded and listened to everything Williams and Vargas had to say.

They stopped to eat at a food truck and she got to chat with other officers, most of them rookies and their instructors, they told her about procedures and every single one reacted with a glow in their eyes when she told them she was Athena Grant's daughter.

She quickly learned that her mom was someone most officers spoke about, like a legend.

Then Williams got a call for mental basic life support and they got to go.

May never knew that even existed, so she asked Vargas about it.

"Well, we have to check on that person and see if they are okay or keep company if they are struggling, so they know there's at least someone there for them." He answered, and May nodded. Flashbacks of her own experiences appeared in her mind and she tried to stay focused on the present. "It's usually a family member or a friend that calls the mental health hotline and units get dispatched, maybe that's why you have never heard of it. In this case, the sister called, saying he hasn't spoken with anybody in weeks."

Five minutes later they were at the front door, the officers leaving May in the car just in case something went south.

She was on her phone when the car radio sounded with Williams' voice. "Dispatch, the 1-56 turned into a code 1-42, send an ambulance in case the person attempts suicide."

Her breath hitched.

1-42 meant suicidal basic life support.

Meant they were trying their best to keep the person from ending their life.

She didn't know when she was inside, the air hot and heavy with sobs and low voices echoing through the walls.

May took a deep breath. She could do it.

"May what are you doing here? I told you to stay in the car." Matthew's voice snapped her from her thoughts.

"I know how to help him." May pointed at the man who was holding a blade to his wrists. He looked around her age.

Officer Vargas sighed, "Fine, go ahead."

May nodded and reunited courage, she started to walk close to him but he exclaimed, "Stop! Stop right there! I don't want anybody near me!"

She stopped in her tracks and raised her hands. "It's okay. Okay."

The man nodded and some tears spilled from his eyes.

"My name is May, can I know yours?" She asked.

"T-Tony."

"That's a pretty name, Tony." May said, as calm as she could. "Tony, why don't you put that blade down and we can talk?"

"No. N-no I won't."

"Look, I know what you're going throu-"

"You lie, everyone who tells me that is lying!"

"I'm not. Look, when I was 14 I... I took lots of pills and I almost killed myself." May's voice trembled. "All I could feel was pain and I just wanted it to go away... I- I didn't think my life was worth enough to live. Like I wasn't enough. That's what you feel, right?"

Tony nodded. May could feel the officer's eyes on her back, but she was making progress, Tony's arms lowered slowly.

"I know you are at your lowest point. But there are so many things that are worth living for."

Tony scoffed "Like what? This miserable place I can barely pay for? My stupid job? The thoughts in my head that are always telling me to quit already?"

"Like your sister." May said calmly.

She remembered being in the hospital with her mom and Harry by her side. The little kid asked Athena if his sister was going to be okay and then held her hand.

'Don't leave me, big sister.' He had said.

A tear fell down her cheek in the present. "She is sick worried about you. But there's someone else worth living for."

"Who?"

"Yourself." May stepped closer to Tony. "You matter. There's no one else like you in this world, Tony. And I know there's a better place out there where you will heal and grow, and you will never feel like this anymore. I also had to learn it the hard way."

Tony seemed caught on her words, he still had hope. She made another step.

"But that will only happen if you let go of that blade and walk out of that door with me. Come on Tony."

Her cards were thrown, now it depended on the man if he would trust her or not.

The sound of the metallic blade hitting the floor made her let go of the air she was holding. She came closer to the man and held his hand.

"That's it. Okay? We are going to get through this."

Somewhere while she was talking, the firefighters and paramedics had arrived and waited quietly behind her. One of the paramedics she recognized as Hen passed her a blanket and she put it around the man's shoulders, telling reassuring words as the paramedics checked his vitals and placed him on a gurney.

Both walked outside together and she promised to visit him in the hospital later, he had a few self-made cuts that needed professional attention.

His sister was waiting for him outside and ran to check on him as soon as she saw him on the gurney. Both siblings were crying when they got into the ambulance

"Good job there May." Chimney patted her shoulder and closed the vehicle's doors before taking off.

"He's right. How are you feeling?" Bobby's voice sounded behind her. She turned around feeling her eyes puffy.

"I'm a little shaken up, but good. Thanks, Bobby." May assured.

Bobby hugged her. "By the way, here comes your mom."

"May, baby!" Athena's voice said and May grunted quietly. Bobby chuckled as he walked away to give them space. The 118 was waiting for him in the truck, ready to go.

"Hey mom," May said, ignoring the truck's honk and already thinking of the upcoming scold. 'May Rose Grant, are you insane? Disobeying the officers and walking there when there was an armed man?'

Instead, Athena rushed to hug her.

"Oh, May my baby! I'm so glad you are okay." She said, relief exuding from her voice.

May sighed and made a small smile. "I'm fine mom, I swear."

"Good, now let's get you home, it's been a hell of a da-"

It came out of nowhere.

First, there was a bang and then her mom shook. May could feel something like a knife cut through her upper arm and then she felt a sticky hot liquid on her hands, which were still on her mom's back.

There were bangs everywhere and Athena's radio went off with Officer Vargas' words, "Shots fired against the LAPD! I repeat, shots fired, 727-L-30 is down! Officer down!"

Her mom collapsed and her strength wasn't enough to keep her from falling to the ground.

"Mom!"

May took her hands from behind her back and saw they were bathed in red.

Blood.

"May. M-May, baby-" Athena made a strangled sound with her throat as she came out of the shock. She couldn't breathe.

"Mom no!" She looked at her mom feeling powerless.

All those manuals she had read and re-read, all her training, all her experience, all was worthless now because her mind was blank. She could hear muffled screams, the shots had ceased and the sirens were sounding far away.

"May, listen to me. I love you, okay? Now press on the wound and-" Athena coughed. It sounded like she was drowning and May hated it. "And whatever you do, please don’t look.”

May hesitated, "But-"

"There's no time for buts. Tell your brother that I love him. I love you both."

May tried to cipher the place of the injury with her tear-blurred vision. She found it and pressed hard, earning a yelp from Athena. She then looked at her surroundings.

She couldn't look at her mom, she was ordered not to.

"Mom please don’t die." Hot tears streamed down her eyes. Her body numb to the pain on her opened knees or her gushing arm, and when she found her voice again she used it mercilessly.

"Help! Please, help me! Someone please, I need help!" She sobbed looking up to the sunny LA skies, her throat already raw.

"Please help me!"

[woodchoc-magnum]

Lone Star 2x11 Hate Watch

I nearly forgot about it this week, whoops

Disclaimer: Don’t read this if you like the show, simply go about your business and have a great day

oh no owen is being arrested oh nooo

is it for being a crime to this show

is he going to hit on Dr Jacobs now?

"is there a complication?" tk asks in a monotone

Oh no he's off work for a month? What will the other firefighters do at an emergency if rob lowe is not there to do it all for them?

"it's like two fortnights?" yeah… that's exactly what it is dude

A fortnight is two weeks

So two of them is… a month.

Captain Judd!

Yessss captain judd

No masks

Not a single mask on anyone

"the Serena Williams of firefighters?" fucking seriously

What if she was on camera like that and then they lose this car? She's gonna look like an asshole

Yo 100% the husband dies I'm calling it now

He's definitely dying

I FUCKING CALLED IT

Yo that's HUBRIS

That's why you don't brag to the cameras y'all

Damn that poor bastard what a way to go

This reminds me of when Bobby was under investigation in season 2 of the OG and they all kept coming around to his house and annoying the shit out of him while he was trying to plan his wedding

BILLY? BILLY BURKE?

BILLY BURKE!!!!!!!!

Yo he was in this show called Revolution that I watched because a) Billy Burke and b) Elizabeth Mitchell and I fuck I shipped him with Liz Mitch SO HARD

It's weird to me that everyone thinks of him as the dad from Twilight because I have legit seen him in everything but that

What happened to his lightning strike scars? That was my favourite part of Season 1

So I'm calling it early and saying that Billy Burke is the arsonist because why else would they bring him back, and he doesn't like Rob Lowe

Oh the gays are hosting a dinner party

You know what shits me? Lone Star has these scenes of the team playing board games and in the OG we waste a whole episode about Josh and Sue – yes I'm still dirty but they can make it up to me with this week’s episode

I suppose in Lone Star they're all single? And young? I really shouldn't complain, I don't want the OG to be more like Lone Star let's face it

Yeah she's going viral for acting like a moron in front of the cameras at the scene, that's why you don't do that fucking shit

Look I like Marjan but come on

Interesting choice of Rolling Stones song

Wow this Rob Lowe montage is so great

Am I the only one who thinks Airpods look dumb

God this Rob Lowe montage has been going for hours

Wow he's potting a plant, and painting, and putting a puzzle together, this is so fucking interesting, thank god they've dedicated this portion of the episode to it. How else would I know what Rob Lowe was doing while he was stuck at home by himself?

The chick who works at the juice bar is a better actor than Ronen

Oh no this looks like the work of the arsonist (Billy Burke)

Thank god Rob Lowe was there right

YOU'RE NOT THE CAPTAIN RIGHT NOW

God what a fuckhead

"126! Give 'em hell!" ugh what a douchebag

How am I only 23 minutes in

I feel like I've been watching for ten hours

Yeah how did you arrive five minutes before everyone huh? I feel like that app he's been listening to is probably illegal

Owen is doing nothing to help his case here

This guy 100% thinks Owen did it and you know what I think he's onto something and I think they should arrest Owen and put him in jail

Also I'm going to say that rob lowe dyes his hair and has had some cosmetic surgery just saying

Honestly I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for Marjan here

It’s just kind of in bad taste for a firefighter to be bragging about how awesome they are. I know social media is her whole deal but… it's pretty uncool

Is it just me or is Judd looking extra handsome in this episode?

Oh great and now we're at a nice dinner and they're talking about Rob fucking Lowe again? WHO CARES

THE ROB LOWE PLOTLIONES ARE ALWAYS THE WORST FUCKING PLOTLINES

He even looks like a creep in that grey hoodie

Oh my god he's been off work for a fucking week? Like I don't get this?

I would love to have a week off work to just stay in my house and be chill

He's talking to Billy Burke about the arson and Billy Burke is in fact the arsonist

Yo doesn't Carlos' house burn down at some point? DOES BILLY BURKE BURN DOWN CARLOS' HOUSE?

I really love Billy Burke and I'm glad they brought him back to play the bad guy; he was the bad guy in The Closer and it was great

He's explaining all this to Billy Burke, who in fact already knows this, because in fact he is IN FACT the arsonist

Also the fact that Rob Lowe has gone out and bought all this stuff just makes him look guiltier

I ship it though, Billy & Owen? Ship name Billwen or Owlly – no we're definitely going with Owlly

Stage 3 cancer, lost his job, got struck by lightning, didn't get the captaincy at the 126 – the man has nothing left to lose. He's the arsonist

Marjan IS a showboat and most of the time it's fine but before a rescue it does exhibit a lot of hubris and that's not a good thing

And that video didn't make her look great

And she needs to go to McKenna and apologise for being a dick

GO AND APOLOGISE

Fucking APOLOGISE

YES YOU SHOULD

Oh good she listened to me

Paul's a babe just saying

She posted a suicide note and no friends or family went to help her? That's pretty fucking depressing

Jesus this is a bit graphic

Wow this is very graphic

"This was clutch" COME ON FUCKING REALLY?

Oh yeah it's so fucking cool being a badass

Ugh this show is so stupid

How does this still have three minutes to go?

"Oh my god I FORGOT THE LIMES" it is the END OF THE WORLD

Why is he in his goddamn fucking arson hoodie again?

He is without a doubt the dumbest mother fucker who has ever dumbed in the history of BEING DUMB

I mean say what you want about Bobby jumping into a dumpster but I have to think that Bobby Nash would know better than to act like a suspicious fucking SUSPECT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARSON INVESTIGATION WHEN THEY ALREADY SUSPECT YOU OF BEING THE ARSONIST, OWEN!

You dumbfuck

0/10 shittiest episode ever, everyone except Judd, Grace and Tommy are stupid

AND OH MY GOD TK WE FORGOT THE LIMESSSSS OH MY GOD END OF THE WORLLLLDDDD

three miserable fucking episodes to go

Diaz to cleanse:

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Batman: The Long Halloween Part 2

Watched Part 1 and 2 back to back last Friday and did a 3 hour movie marathon. Definitely the best way to watch this movie. Overall, this was a big hit for DC animation department. I really liked it. I am not sure if its quite as good as The Dark Knight Returns two parter that came out a few years ago but its far better then majority of the Batman animated movies that have been made since then.

Part 2 picks up directly after Part 1 so there is definitely a huge benefit of watching the movies back to back. Part 2 is where some of the differences in the adaptation are a bit more clear. The spirit of the comic is still kept in tact but the adaptation has a few plot changes. One of the best parts of the movie is the respect both movies give to Harvey Dent/Two-Face. He's arguably the second most popular Batman villain but he's never had much prominence in Batman movies even though Aaron Eckhart was excellent in TDK. But his Two-Face was only in the last 30 mins or so. This movie does a good job of establishing Two-Face and giving him the layers and making his way of judgement very clear. There is something touching about his conversations with Solomon Grundy in the sewers. He feels like an antagonist but not a villain. I think the resolution to the mystery is also interesting. I think giving Gilda a tragic backstory connected directly to the Falcones definitely helps beef up her motivation. It also adds an interesting layer to Falcone. In the end, you feel something for Gilda and you feel for Harvey and that he's trying to protect her.

There are a few minor things that didn't completely work. The movie does cheat a bit in terms of animation of the Holiday Killer. We get a fairly good look at the killer and its clearly animated to be a man despite it being Gilda. They could have made his appearance a bit more vague to bump up the intrigue. While I found the resolution satisfying, the vagueness of the comic was missing. Here there is a single killer whereas in the comic there are multiple killers, some who are accused, some caught, and some not caught. Also, I never completely understood why Catwoman was helping Bruce when her aim was to find out about her mother. She popped in and out of the movie. Apart from that, the movie is deliberately paced like a film noir detective movie and it works. The animation is solid and the voice acting is top notch with Josh Duhamel being the star of the movies. Ackles does an admirable job. He isn't quite the same level as Conroy or Greenwood, but he conveys the young Bruce quite well. A solid 8.5/10 for the movie overall.

[zigtheeortega]

hiiii thank u for tagging me @choicesarehard this was a lot of fun !!!!! i use the latina!mc with the ombre braid :) im not fancy enough to add a transparent my bad

B A S I C S

Full name: raquel olvera

Nickname: stankabutt <3 JK she has no nickname

Gender: F    

Sexuality & Pronouns: straight and she/her

Faceclaim: i haven’t even tried SKDFJKSDFK

M O R A L S

Morality alignment: chaotic neutral (I THINK idk ive never thought ab this before)

Sins: envy - not so much anymore, but after her mom passed she found herself envious to the point of anger at every single person she knew that had a mother, solely bc they still had their mother. and she didn’t. she bottled it up, but she couldn’t stop herself from wishing she was someone else.

Virtues: humility and charity

T H I S  O R  T H A T

introvert / extrovert

organized / disorganized

close-minded / open-minded

calm / anxious / restless

disagreeable / agreeable / in between

cautious / reckless / in between

patient / impatient

outspoken / reserved

leader / follower / flexible

empathetic / un-empathetic

optimistic / pessimistic / realistic

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

O T H E R

Birthplace: los angeles

Ethnicity: hispanic 

Job: tutoring/babysitting bc she’s great w young kids

Hobbies: after her mom passed, she took up anything she was interested in to be connected to her, so her hobbies seem a bit old. crocheting, crossword puzzles, all that jazz

Languages: english/spanish/asl/knows some basic words and phrases in other languages in case of emergency - spanish was her first language and her mom taught her english in pre-k so she was ahead of the game before she went to public school. and she picked up asl bc it was an elective offered in school and she fell in love with it.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

Family: dad’s side of the family is scattered across the west coast. she sees them every couple of years at weddings/quinceañeras/big celebrations, but not too often. her mom’s side of the family, however, is her favorite. they’re friendly and warm and welcoming - but they’re in her mom’s native country (haven’t pinned it down yet lmao) so she’s only been able to visit every couple of years with her mom, but not anymore.

OTP: raquel x logan

OT3: none

BroTP: raquel/toby, raquel/ximena, raquel/ingrid, raquel/tim?josh? <3 her besties

NOTP: brent is a garbage bag full of worms. j*son sh*w is a sentient parking meter with a god complex that demands a pound of flesh. salazar probably reeks of wet dog & onions. so they can stay away from my queen <3 none of this was necessary but i had to roast

i’m tagging @violinet, @senatorraines, @raleiighcarrera, @pixeljazzy, @troublemakerinspace, @olivershens and anyone else who wants to do it!!! <3 if u wanna be tagged lmk and ill edit the post and add u <3

[thepausedsforzando]

III. The Paused Sforzando

Part I. The End To The Remaining Effort

*******Introduction*******

   It’s been 5 years. 5 years and a month just about. This post looks weird in public because it’s first one. It’s also marked as III. On October 8th, 2019 I nuked my entire Tumblr. Actually, I nuked all 3: hunkee, digitalclothingofhunkee and thepsychologyofdarthvader. That was a heavy day. This series has been shotty and inconsistent, in that gaps have become bigger and the details have lessened. This could likely be due to the feedback and problems I’ve had with people in my posts when I would talk about personal things that were not only private for me but for them. Primarily, these inconsistencies and gaps are because I’ve slowly descended into more of a void of a human being than I ever thought I could be when my life was right. January 6th, 2016. That’s where we last left off. “We” now means, and has always meant, current Matthew, as well as the one who will be reading this. If any Where are we now? Corny, I know, but you wanted to type it.

   I have always dreamed of having a Tumblr where I had literally 0 holdbacks. If it was disturbing or could easily be misunderstood, I’d post it anyway. But coming from a Christian background where the Christian homeschool choirs I was in had its dark pockets of judgement, it, or more than just it, made me severely self-conscious. But that is tied deeper to why I care about what others think, and how their attention makes or breaks me as a human being. But I’m getting head of myself. On purpose.

   hunkee, and it’s other 2 sisters were that of restriction. No more. So many have lost touched, forgotten and abandoned me, so who fucking cares now. I may still care. I’m showing it right now, but I’ll contradict that.

   One thing I will hold back on is the private information of loved ones who never got a voice to choose whether or not to have their private lives posted here. I am transparent and honest to an extreme, and it’s gotten me in trouble more than I ever thought or wanted to. Therefore, what you will be seeing is the second draft, edited to filter out private events out of love and/or respect to those who didn’t get a voice. They will be edited with summaries and I may even redact names or change said names. Those people deserve it. And I should have known back then. But you can’t know everything. I could have learned faster, but respect is being shown nonetheless.

   Alot has happened from January 6th, 2016 to February 5th, 2021. What I choose to be here will be here, and other installments will follow. Where we last left off was- well before I say it, let me show you the progression:

- 2009: The end of my childhood and innocence - 2010: a solid year of happiness in the first chapter of adulthood - 2011: not bad - 2012: The beginning of the dark renaissance; the start of it all - 2013: The Darkness: The darkest point, the breakdown, the intervention and the beginning of me stopping any care and any effort. Laziness became my life. - 2014: The Void: Through trying with little effort, the numbness grew - 2015: I literally forgot most of 2015. The Void at its highest - 2016: The End: The year that I gave up, after 5 years of trying through abandonment. - 2017: Committing to my abandonment. - 2018: Rebirth: The slow growth of the tiniest voice within me. - 2019: Pause #1: Amber - 2020: ugh: - 2021: ugh:

Let’s just begin.

             **************

   As per usual, let’s recap from the 16th. My name is Matthew. I’m 24 and a half years old. I work at Patsco Windshield Repair and had for about a month. I have been living back at my parents now for 2 years and about 4 months. I’d been single for 1 year and 2 months. I still had my Roth IRA and likely got rid of my savings account due to poor management of my money. I had suppressed my love for Amber again, and it wouldn’t be the last time. I was emotionally void after raging and depressing for years. My life had no meaning, nor did I really have many friends or any social interactions. I had a car. I can’t remember what bills I dealt with, but it was likely phone, insurance, health insurance and idk.

   Life at Patsco was pretty lame. I would drive to the corner of a parking lot on a busy road, hold up a sign for a while and repair people’s windshields. Calling insurance companies and cleaning headlights. Great for a high schooler; pathetic that I was there in life at 24. The pay was $12/hr. I forgot if the hours were good. But the best thing that happened then was I read Dante Alighieri’s Inferno. I fell in love with that book. Standing on the grass next to cars at the red light of whatever intersection I was assigned that day. Immersed in the world and loving the darkness. I found beauty in dark things and gravitated towards hateful content. Who would have figured.

   Patsco didn’t last very long. Maybe I got fired, I think I did. My memory has deteriorated so much over the past x amount of years. As has my attention span. And effort. Anyway, it usually takes me 1-3 months to find work, and on April whenever, I became a delivery driver for Jimmy John’s. Yet again, a low end, dead end job. I lasted just about 2 years. I asked Asia to let me stay long enough to make it an even two years, but she couldn’t stand me and it didn’t go that long.

   Amber had either come back or was always there. For private reasons, someone in her life had jealously forbade me to come over and witness the birth of her first child. That didn't fucking happen with her second. I was there. More on that later.

   Remembering 2015, 2016 and 2017 is hard. I'm having to pull up my resume, previous entries of this series and go back to where I was then. By the time Jimmy John’s rolled around, I’d been back home for over 2 and a half years. Being numb and unmotivated, I was also an asshole to live with. I treated my mother horribly. There is much to get into about what I have learned about her over the years and why we clash, but I always handled it wrong and I still do. Too lazy to confront her. She saw me at my worst. Whatever I could do out loud, she mostly saw and had to be the victim of it. She didn’t deserve it.

   What I write about tends to focus on home, mom and dad, work, cars and not much else. I’ve neglected to mention Eva but once. I feel bad that in a forgetful and numb phase, I forgot when I met Eva. I met her on MeetMe, a social app for meeting people that too many guys used as a dating site. It was really, really pathetic. But I was open to meeting a significant other too I bet. There goes the hypocrisy. Take note. I just didn’t advertise it and let whatever unfolded, unfold.  Before I mention Eva, what happened on MeetMe is notable. I just didn’t advertise it and I'd let whatever unfolded unfold. This is where I was at: I met someone who lived across the road from me named Evie. I put what I wanted onto her and god fucking dammit I was creepy. We were barely just talking and I was gushing over her. She was pretty and I wanted to be with someone.

   My obsession with women had always been a tame problem that sprouted when it got to be intense. In 2011, when the neglect started, my creepiness, lack of social interactions and desire to have a girlfriend got weirder. Every girl that was remotely attractive, or not even that attractive was ‘so right for me’ and I’d pursue. Ashley, Andrea, Christa, Amy. I can’t even remember them all. It was every. fucking. woman. that came to Josh's and I's house. Someone I hadn’t been vibing with or talking to in the first place. That’s the key, you get to know someone and if they move that way WITH you, then it’s something. I always bash guys for pursuing if THEY want it, whether they’ve talked to them much or not. In my own way, I did that. I just didn’t assert myself as hard because in this context, it would have been awkward.

   Evie casually told me where she worked. We were barely acquaintances and had never met or even had each others’ numbers. And when I saw she was getting off work one night, I bought her the candy she said she loved and walked over to her in front of the store at night, basically a total stranger, and gave her the Reese’s after clarifying who I was. She was extremely quiet. I bet she didn’t eat those candies because she thought the psycho who I guess you could say stalked her poisoned them and is going to kidnap her. Fuck me that was stupid. But that’s where I was at. My desire got stronger and more obsessive over these 4 years. This might have happened in 2015. Either way, I was doing things that were not Matthew. Using a woman for sex, stalking one, and Naomi....Poor Naomi.

   We were talking as friends. She was beautiful. I wanted someone. She did NOT want to find a significant other. When she was reaching out for someone to talk to, it was a friend to confide in. And she made that clear. I lowkey pursued her romantically. We’d meet down the street of her house and park in a parking lot close by. We’d talk deeply, about her hard life. And I would be there for her. Once I told her my intentions, we stopped talking. She was upset, and had every right to be. When I was pursuing Amber 3 years prior, I was putting her newborn to sleep and said ‘can you say “daddy?”’...............................it’s hard for me to bring that up because as wrong as it was and I probably knew at the time, now I can’t....I can’t even explain the awkwardness and shame I feel for saying that. Like I devolved from already clingy/kinda obsessive/maybe on occasion creepy to.....that. To a newborn whose mother....I can’t remember if she liked me at that time. I think she did. ReGARDLESS.

   The last time I wasn’t like this was Ana. in late 2011/early2012. I was never perfect as I’ve said like 3 times with regards to my intense emotions towards girlfriends. Hell, I wasn’t bad at all to Nicole. But this loneliness, that was a combination of my fault and other things that made me do things I regret. I had my first one night stand years ago. Attaining friends was through the screen of my phone. I couldn’t make friends. I lost my ability to be social. I became more socially awkward. Pursuing women wasn’t successful, and my desire had gone out of control.

   Here I am, miles away from the original point: Eva. She was a female and I was looking for a relationship. Desiring love, affection and to get fucking laid. It came in the form of many creepy endeavors. I wasn’t as terrible with Eva. I liked her because I liked every female that came in contact with me. So it wasn’t even genuine when I told her. But we got past that. Wasn’t trying to get in her pants or anything heinous. But as that small phase passed, for the first time in years, I gained a friend. I made a new friend........it’s not that it’s hard, but was for me. I can’t think of the last time I made a new friend. But I hit the jackpot. No one is more loyal than Eva.

   She was an actual friend. She listened to me. I listened to her. We cared for each other. She invited me to her house and to outings with her friends. She cared about me. Someone finally did. It was nothing to her. Like it should be nothing to anyone else: you have friends and you spend time with them. But it was the universe and all its stars to me. I made a big deal out of it for reasons you already know. She was the true friend I needed, but got so late. I felt included, I felt cared about and I felt wanted. I think she’d even text me first! That doesn’t exist anymore! She became a bright spot, but it didn’t change what was coming.

   I got mad at Jimmy John’s. Aggressive driving, maybe dealing with the occasional dick ‘cause I was in an upper middle class (some would say rich) area of town. Having been void for so long, I felt I was at a dead end. I think I was friends with Eva by then. I had only been at Jimmy John’s for a month, not even. 2 days before Mother’s Day was when it finally happened.

   Despite the angel that had come into my life, I was still lazy and numb, but I feel I was more angry at this point. Regardless, on May 6th, 2016, I officially gave up. From neglect to anger to depression to laziness, it had all culminated to this. It came in waves: neglect, anger, depression, suicidal ideation, hopelessness, self-attack, breakdown, intervention, self-abandonment, extreme sloth, numbness beyond the realm of textual representation, sick of my state, denying help, anger and then release. Release of it all. When I say ‘I gave up’, that seems so small in text, but defined ‘the rest of my life’. This had been culminating for 4 years and I finally just gave up. Career? never. Healthy diet? never. Friends? They already all left me so nothing’s gonna change ‘cause it hasn’t. Love? either I said I can’t ‘cause of my mental state or idk. Being happy? it hasn’t been possible.

    I adopted a new phrase: Until death. It kept repeating in my head. I had a new set of goals and motivation in my life. My goal was to avoid being happy. It was to never seek love or really get anything serious, idk. My goal was never to get a better paying job, but get enough just to live on my own. Push everyone away, not get lied to by people’s flakiness. Be in a shitty apartment and watch my 30′s, 40′s, 50′s and maybe even 60′s alone. Eat junk food and clog my arteries as no one cares and everyone has forgotten me. What’s the use. I tried. I FUCKING TRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I couldn’t do it. After 4 years, I was alone, I had no social life, I couldn’t score a woman and I was too creepy to even get close to the first step, I had eaten junk food most of my life and it was affecting my mental and physical health, I couldn’t hold a job, I couldn’t advance because I couldn’t stay long enough, my mental health was blocking my success rate before I started telling people it was blocking my success rate, I was at odds with my parents, Missy was in Chicago, no matter what I did I just couldn’t progress. It wasn’t worth it. I just let it go. My life and my desire to be happy. And that was a commitment. Hard as it would be for my family to have to endure that, I didn’t do it for them. And they didn’t have to suffer. But they did.

   Missy graduated the year we're talking about now. To preface that, the whole family had vacationed to New Orleans sometime.....2014? idk, but my mental state and circumstances had made me a recluse. My family was outgoing, talking with Uber drivers and the person kind enough to let us use their house instead of a hotel. They experienced New Orleans and were having fun. But not me. I was not fully there. I was withholding myself from participating. I was quiet. if you knew me when I was myself, I was the opposite of quiet and shy. But the darkness had just become me. I was barely participating, sitting away from people and not saying a word, focusing on rooting my phone and occasionally talking about it, not talking to humans outside of my family and not speaking with a sad, distant, vacant expression.

    I learned something through my silence. Usually, if there were family problems, I’d be overly involved and not able to think straight ‘cause I’m thinking of all the perspectives and dividing my attention up multifold. I wasn’t like this in New Orleans. When I said nothing, I got to listen more; I got to see what I hadn’t seen all this time. Or at least what I didn’t bring into focus all my life. And that was more true sides of my family through their interactions. The fighting over nothing and people from different perspectives. The escalations and how my family just doesn’t understand each other. If anyone else is reading this but me, you can learn more than you can possibly imagine when you say little to nothing, sit back and let the conversation you normally are involved in happen in front of you. Don’t interact, just let it happen. Watch what you don’t pick up. Our compassion is valid; we can also get carried away and not notice what’s fully going on right in front of our faces.

    Much changed from that much as I used to. Optimism is ideal in moderation, as is everything else. My father was so aperspective shift. I learned more about where we are as a family and I didn’t brush it under the rug as ngry that my standout silence and being a weird, burdensome stick in the mud of a family vacation was affecting everyone and our time together. Not to mention my sister moved out...........2013? I forget. She had been in Chicago so we don’t see her everyday. Things had changed. I had moved back, but for a small amount of time, mom and dad had the place to themselves. That part of your kids growing up and leaving. He confronted me angrily and I learned something else by what he said. You would think he would say something based on how I’ve prefaced this, but instead what uttered from is angry face was:

“Do you have any idea how much money I’ve spent?!”

    Sometimes, maybe many times, the way you say something or the first thing you say reflects where your focus is at. I disagree this is always the case. But in that moment, I believe as a man whose life revolved around providing for his family for 20 years, became focused on that primarily. The man can love. The man loves him family incomprehensibly. Never doubt that. But I learned not only of his perspective but how men (traditionally and mostly) make their life’s purpose of providing....larger than love, communication and interaction. All of that is still there in my father at this point, but when it wasn’t, I learned why.

    Back to the point, Missy was graduating. I had been at Jimmy John’s a bit and even though New Orleans was a while ago, I only got worse for vacations. And going to Chicago was..........terrible. My sister had always been a social butterfly and extravertive. Our personalities were now white and black. I didn’t know how to talk to people. I didn’t know how to socialize. I didn’t want to. I’d been burned so much that I forgot how to be a human being, and also tried not to be. The silence and seclusion as people were in my sister’s living room, talking, was bizarre. People would kindly ask me about me and raise small talk and I don’t remember how much I’d say if I said anything. I think I’d straight up ignore people. It was extremely awkward. I was introvertive, shy, quiet, ignoring and reserved like I was an extreme trauma victim or a mute (no offence meant to either an victim of a crippling trauma or mutes). My sister was in love and trying with this man that turned out to be an asshole. But at the time, my sister was showing me her life and a very important man in her life and I was just letting it pass me by. Was it as simple as just getting over it? Faking it and putting on a face? That, is the opposite of who I am, and I couldn’t just shake this off. I was alone for 4 years and upset about it. It changed me so much that you don’t just pull out of that. Who Matthew IS. PERIOD. at this point. IS. too far gone from who he really is and so deeply warped and shaped by his depression that who he IS is hopeless and functionless.

    Her boyfriend got me a present. I practically said nothing. I watched my sister graduate. I don’t remember it. This is trauma. This has affected my caring, my memory and my attention span. I’m not myself or a functioning human. PSA: it is possible to get out of the habit of many things you don’t think you could get out of the habit of. Like social interaction, how to talk to people, react to things. It wasn’t the darkest point, but such a troublesome time. I was 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% darkness and 00.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% myself. There has always been a voice inside that never wanted this. That disagreed with the (verbal) self harm I’d convince myself. After a while, if you tell yourself the same thing, whether it’s good or destructive, you’ll believe it. You’ll trick you mind. Same thing with your environment. You become affected and accustomed to your environment to some extent. When you don’t realize it.

But this was never me. Me just got smaller. The darkness took over. The darkness was my Caretaker, which leads me to...

[troybarnesbucky]

I woke up and decided to analyze each 9-1-1 pairing with regards to timing and also buddie

I just woke up and all im gonna say right now is this: this is long-winded but basically it takes a look at all the relationships on 9-1-1 and compare the timing and level of intimacy to that of buck and eddie’s relationship. 

at the end of season 1 of 911 I remember watching and realizing they were gonna push the whole bobby and athena relationship, and I was surprised, because I didnt think there was any preamble or much hinting to it. but I guess it made sense to me - they were both single, both in the same social circle, they got along. sure, made sense. and then season 2 comes along and they’re smack dab in the middle of their relationship and we have zero time to adjust to it as an audience, but once again, we quickly did (mind you, I did not watch it live as intently as a fan would, but I do recall a lot of episodes because my mom watches the show and I remembered a lot when I was catching up myself). at this point bobby and athena are happily married and I really do love them together, genuinely.

then, maddie comes along and there’s a bit more to the story. she has a lot going on, a lot she’s been through and we spend much of her first season getting to know her and watching her confront her past and create her own present. chimney had a bit of a rough start with relationships (.... tatiana, sorry love, but you could’ve had it all sis). her and chimney start out as friends but it’s very clear from their blossoming friendship that the writers intend for us to want a relationship for them, and we DO. because theyre adorable together and genuinely have so much chemistry and they’re good for one another. it’s a bit of a slowburn but we get there eventually, so much so that in the season 3 finale, we find out maddie is pregnant! which yes, did make me cry shut up. 

hen and karen had a rough start. even if they did look happy, they went through a ton of shit in the first and second season, especially the first season. which is fair; hen cheated on karen, and a large part of her storyline revolved around her ex and having to fight for denny. but there’s so much love between them, and a heavy history that is palpable through the screen. by the time season 2 comes around, they are a bit more grounded, and more so by the time season 3, too. it was interesting to think about their relationship is comparison to the others, which we watched blossom in real time. especially in season 3, because we see their love and support of one another during their attempt to have another child, and yes I also did cry when they met nia for the first time and no I will not elaborate. hen also went through a lot of shit this season; karen, despite what she went through, was and continues to be super wonderful and supportive, if a bit wary (but its okay because drunk karen and chim was a gift and we were well fed) for a second. their relationship is everything and also karen carries the whole show’s sense of humor on her back, I said what I said. 

then we have three more main relationships: michael and athena’s, which is over in episode 1; buck and abby (im not counting ali because genuinely she was in three episodes, im only looking at the main relationships for each character), which starts and ends in season 1; and eddie and shannon, which technically starts before season 1 and kinda ends in season 2 but then she dies. 

personally I dont think there’s much to add about michael and athena’s relationship. firstly, michael is a doll and if they hurt him in season 4 I will riot. but more so, the show gave us a LOT to work with in terms of their past relationship. also, it was interesting as a viewer, to learn about them from the bottom up. we see the tail-end of their romantic relationship and watch it get replaced with a genuine love and care for each other and their family. it’s a stark contrast to what a lot of shows on television would go for; it has a bit of rough, bumpy start, but by midway through season 2, they’re both on steady ground in terms of personal family life, and it’s actually a breath of fresh air. their dynamic is heavily surrounded by love for family, and we love love love that. 

I think with abby and buck we all liked it a little, at the start. buck was sweet to her and we see a change in attitude and an effort from buck that is clear to have never been made before. abby is also a pretty admirable character; she takes care of her mother, is incredible at her job as a dispatcher, and she struggles with maintaining personal relationships but still gives it a go with buck. and buck, from the start to end of the season, grows a lot, both independently from and surrounding their relationship. as a viewer I watched the show way later on, so I knew abby was leaving and honestly, I really did like her and their chemistry. as we go into season 2, we have buck, who is still living in abby’s place, and then the introduction of eddie.

so here’s the thing; this is where I was trying to get to. the show (the writers) made and continue to make interesting character and relationship choices. with eddie and shannon, there is a very clear closeness and chemistry between them that yes, does get revamped for a little. there is also history, which is very important and can’t be disregarded. but more than anything, we are looking at timing in this meta. eddie comes along in season 2 and there are a lot of things happening: hen and karen are getting back to normal, athena and bobby are suddenly dating, buck and abby are - despite what buck thinks - very over, and chim is single and ready to pringle, plus maddie is new and freshly separated from d*ug. as we go through season 2, we see development with athena and bobby, very clearly on their way to a stable relationship and marriage. hen and karen are working through things, we don't really doubt their relationship either. both maddie and chimney are single, and they become friends, and we very quickly, as viewers, realize where the writers are taking us and what they want us to think. 

so now im gonna get on my clown shit when I talk about buck and eddie. specifically, regarding the writers and their timing and why I think they’re either really stupid or actually very smart.

listen, everyone loves slowburn. hell, I'm writing a buddie au that will probably end up being like, upwards of 80k words and it’s gonna be a slowburn. buck, at the beginning of season 2, is in denial. im not gonna go through details but I will say that like..... okay, he’s heartbroken and thats fair. eddie, through means of “what a man,” is introduced and within one fell swoop, buck is immediately jealous and then like, twenty four hours later, they’re besties. tea. totally fair. in terms of timing, especially regarding relationships, there really aren’t many things to note: buck goes through that weird thing with taylor kelly, eddie goes through his drama with shannon, and when shannon wants a divorce, it kinda all goes to shit. by the end of season 2, we have buck trying to move on (and also nearly dying by means of a firetruck but thats not my point but also writers wtf) and dating ali (guys how do you spell her name lol) while eddie deals with the aftermath of his (ex, technically but I don't know if its mean to say that) wife. there are more than a few moments between buck and eddie that hint to a potential romance and feelings, like the santa scene and multiple others. then, season 3 is very very interesting. 

buck and ally(? seriously I don't know) are broken up, eddie is focused on christopher and actually, also buck, and then the tsunami happens. there is also not much going on in terms of other relationships on the show; maddie and chim get their shit together while also having a crazy season starting and ending with talking about having kids with a brief intermission of “I cant say I love you” and nearly dying on both parts and albert appears lol (and then disappears, too?? wtf). athena and bobby are pretty cool, hen and karen are trying for kids and hen wants to be a doctor. we have some others, like josh, who go through too much shit for my liking and deserve better, and michael, who...... deserves the world. 

okay. cleared that up. but timing-wise, if we look at the writers and their regard for timing, then we see this: any time two characters are single and there’s an ounce of friendship even hinted, they end up together. fine, that’s fair to say because we’ve seen it, right? after the tsunami, which is a WHOLE OTHER thing im not getting into, we have the lawsuit, eddie fighting, lena bosko (yall can be mad but she was hella cool), hen killing that cello (I think) player, michael getting sick, wow this season was fucking insane holy shit.

but in terms of character relationships and timing, a lot goes on with buck and eddie. in this one season alone, we go from eddie being the first one to hug buck at his surprise party and christopher giving buck a card with “bff” on it, then buck almost dies (again) and eddie is, quite frankly, the only one who takes no crap from him after he quits and then the tsunami and buck literally tearing himself apart to find his best friend’s son and collapsing at the sight of them reunited and then “there’s no one I trust more with my son than you” (is that the quote, I don't know it by heart) and THEN heart eyes, and then the lawsuit and supermarket and “you’re exhausting” and “christopher misses you” and “I couldn't even call you to bail me outta jail” and then the “I’m hearing a lotta ‘I’s, buck” and “I forgive you” and then the Infamous Kitchen Scene and me endlessly screaming WHY WAS BUCK’S HAND ON HIS BELT LIKE THAT? but also very pointedly I will say eddie fighting specifically when he can’t talk to buck and then it stops around the time he can hmmmmm. and also “this is eddie’s house im not really a guest here” then the fuckaifajfgkjfglgakjdgag tunnel collapsing and buck literally, once again tearing himself and everything apart for a diaz, digging with his bare hands and the defeated look on his face and refusing to think about eddie dying and eddie very nearly dying but then recalling christopher, his family, buck, then christopher and buck, then christopher and buck again, then a rare shannon appears, and then it’s just-

okay. OKay. O K AY. ok. here’s what I think. either the writers are incredibly smart or just viciously stupid, or the third, lesser liked option, they know what they’re doing and don’t give two shits. they are sitting on, and quite frankly they have created, a fucking goldmine. but in terms of timing, and relationship choices, we have eddie and anna(?) as a brief thing that will either reappear in season 4 or never be touched again, then abby’s lame-ass apology that was just her attempting to justify her actions by claiming she simply just should’ve told buck sooner. but a lot of this season explores buck’s loneliness, and in a way, too, eddie’s. 

yes, eddie has christopher, and the others? they have families and significant others. buck has no one (except maddie but you get my point) to go home to. I think, in terms of timing and thematic elements, this season took the time to explore the loneliness of two men, but also by doing so, only high-lighted their need for one another, their love for one another. in the past, that has lead to two couples getting together: athena and bobby, and chimney and maddie. 

so, my point is, season 4 is the make it or break it point. we got (weak-ass) closure with abby, eddie’s anger and regret with shannon (and yes, christopher), an exploration of both of their loneliness, and a very, very clear rocket launch of their closeness and dependence on one another, in season 3. it started with a lot and ended with closure on all extraneous factors that could have possibly deterred the two of them from a potential relationship. more so, abby is getting married and buck has no choice but to move on; he may not have loved her anymore but he needed the closure (and no I do not think it was good enough and I think buck deserved more but that’s not my point).

this can’t be read that much into. it’s not subtle, it’s not subtext. it’s very clearly there on our screens, with every small or big line. they mean a lot to each other. anyone with eyes can say that, has to say that. the problem is, what’s the intention? like, are the writers actually doing what I've just said, setting up for a slowburn, taking it season by season. you can look at it that way, and it actually doesnt take a lot to get to that point of a thought process. there is a HUGE, fundamental shift in buck and eddie’s relationship in season 3. there is a perceived difference in their friendship versus both their relationship with others and the friendship between others. denny doesn’t call chimney his best friend, “his chimney.” athena has never once told hen she trusts her children with her more than anyone in the world. 

there are a lot of interesting choices that have been made over the course of three season, particularly this past season. there are also a lot of possibilities for the upcoming season. we may see a return of that teacher, we might see buck fall into other women, we may see eddie not fully over shannon, or (hopefully not) an abby return. it’s just a matter of waiting, but there’s no denying the way things were left off; buck and eddie were both single throughout the entirety of season 3, considerably closer and not guests at each other’s place, both very lonely in spite of the people around them, closer to each other than the rest of the 118, both have a family member (or more than one for eddie) to keep them anchored. buck is, yes, more lonely, but they are both left off in the same place. my question, more than anything, is whether it’s intentional after all that’s said and done. and if it’s not, then why, pray tell, are the writers following their OWN very clear and self-fulfilled pattern of timing and relationships to an even stronger extent than they ever have?