#jordy x taylor

[kasagia]

Would've, Could've, Should've...

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/Darkling x heartrender! Kaz Brekker's sister! reader Summary: Your life would have been completely different if it wasn't for Aleksander. You regret meeting him... but saints only know that he is the one who can make you feel this way... Warning(s): angst, death, blood, violence, manipulation, falling in love with the wrong person, toxic love, Aleksander is a little manipulator and the reader enters his web, the reader rebels, they love and hate each other, kind of dark! reader? Inspired by "Would've, Could've, Should've" - Taylor Swift SPECIAL FOR 10K LIKES AND 500 FOLOWERS 💙🖤 Thank you once again!! Words count: 11,6k+ Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @morrigan-crowmwell ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

If you would've blinked then I would've Looked away at the first glance If you tasted poison, you could've Spit me out at the first chance

You were a thief and a paid killer. In Ketterdam you were known as the sister of Dirtyhand, Dreg's second bastard. But that was before you met him... or before you were commissioned to kill him.

You were in a bind then, a messed-up situation. Your elder brother, Jordie, died, and your younger brother, Kaz, was your dependent. You both had to work hard to earn money for food and a dry (but often cold) place to sleep.

That's why you packed up. You left your brother with the promise to return and provide him with a place to stay while you were away. You exchanged as many letters with him as you could. You learned that he was doing well in Ketterdam, slowly becoming the head of one of the most important gangs. You helped him build his "empire" as much as you could, travelling around the world and making money by killing your targets.

But everything went to hell and your life changed completely on the night of a winter fete in Ravka.

You had a very simple task.

Disguised as a servant, you were to deliver the glass with poison to the Darkling, mingle with the other servants, and leave. None of the nobles ever paid attention to the service. Especially when you cover your face with makeup, making it look so dull and ordinary that no one will remember it.

But Darkling was different... you were supposed to find out about it soon.

Everything was going well. You walked over to him and handed him a poison glass, avoiding eye contact with him. But as you walked away, glancing discreetly to see if he raised his glass to his lips, you noticed he gave you a second glance.

You shivered.

He stared at you intently without even blinking. You felt mesmerized under his gaze, like you couldn't take your eyes off him even if you tried... but you didn't even want to try to save yourself from the gaze of his dark eyes.

And just as he was about to raise the cup to his lips, a commotion ensued around you. One of the paid hitmen you worked with has been identified.

The general threw down his glass and gave chase to the hitman. You took this opportunity to run out of the ballroom unnoticed.

You were lucky the general didn't drink the poison after all. If he did, it would be harder for you to leave Ravka and go back to your brother, since you all got disclosed.

In retrospect, you'd rather he'd drank that poison... maybe he'd have gotten rid of you at that first night.

If I was some paint, did it splatter On a promising grown man? And if I was a child, did it matter If you got to wash your hands?

You ran through the corridors until you bumped into one of the people who worked with you. You were breathing heavily from running from the pursuers of the First and Second Army.

"These Grishas dogs are everywhere. They caught Kostrov. We have to get the fuck out of here before their crazy Black General catches us too."

"Kostrov is caught? Shit. He'll turn us in before we leave the walls of this damn palace." you knew very well that if that was true, it was only a matter of time before the man revealed your hiding places. You must run away from there. And as soon as possible.

The voices of the soldiers and their quick steps rumble around you.

"Please tell me you have a plan."

"I always have a plan." you answer confidently and take her by a hand. You lead her through the corridors of the Little Palace until you are outside.

You are heading towards the exit gate when Grishas suddenly appear in front of you. You both stop, looking uncertainly in their direction. Fortunately for you, your disguise makes them a little less suspicious.

"You, get back to the Grand Palace. It's not safe here, servant." they said to you. "You're coming with us." they say, taking your co-worker by the hand.

They drag her towards the Little Palace, but she doesn't give up that easily. She breaks free from their grip, hugs you from behind and puts a dagger to your throat.

"One step closer and I'll kill her." Grishas' joined hands, ready to use a small science. You feel her dagger pierce your neck gently. Blood drips onto your collarbone just like the drops of your sweat. From this position, you can practically feel both her and your heart racing.

"What are you doing?" you whisper, angry at her.

"We'll both get out of here, or no one does." she growls furiously in your ear, backing away slowly. The dagger digs deeper into your skin as she realises there may be no way out of this situation.

You let out a loud scream, and suddenly her grip on you loosens. She falls dead to the ground, and you are right next to her. You press your hand against your throat and try to stop the bleeding. Your eyes study her lifeless body intently.

There are no injuries. No blood. No wound. One of the heartrenders must have stopped her heart.

You look around at the Grishas who are now coming towards you, and in a panic, you realise that there is not a single red kefta among them...

If it wasn't one of them then...

You shake as an unlikely thought comes to your mind, and the world slowly begins to blur into blurs as you feel the blood flow more freely from your neck and seep into your clothes. The dull, thumping beats buzz in your head, making it even more difficult for you to remain conscious.

Black material flashes before your eyes. You feel someone's strong arms lift you up. And before you completely lose your consciousness, you can feel HIS heart pumping warm blood rapidly. Yours is getting slower and slower.

And you wish you had died in his arms right then, before it all started...

A few hours later, you wake up in the Little Palace infirmary. You find out that you are a heartrender, and with your scream, you knocked down not only the woman who worked with you on this assignment (luckily no one knows about your identity and what you were really doing in the palace), but also the Grishas who caught you both (for the second time, the saints took watch over you, so you only knocked them unconscious for a moment).

Ah, and the Black General brought you here himself… the day like others.

Ooh, oh All I used to do was pray Would've, could've, should've If you'd never looked my way I would've stayed On my knees

You were kneeling in the chapel. The stained-glass windows and images of saints gave you a kind of solace in a strange way.

You often prayed to the saints. Even though there weren't many believers in Ketterdam in anything but profit and money.

You believed that they were somehow listening to the prayers of the people on earth… you just didn't know why they chose to so painfully ignore the cries for help for the lifes of your family.

You clutched a letter from Kaz in your hand. The tears had long since stopped falling from your eyes and had already dried on your face. After all, how many hours could you cry while sitting on one of the pew?

You didn't want to leave him like this. He was your little brother, and you loved him more than anything. Yet he threw it in your face for choosing your own comfort over his well-being. That you wanted to join the ranks of saints, forgetting who you were and leaving behind your past.

As if staying in the Little Palace was your choice.

You were thrown into the role of Grisha. You didn't even know how to control it... yet you were able to hold back thousands of hearts without any training or learning about small science.

You were capable of much more than an ordinary heartrender. You could manipulate the blood. Move people at your will, controlling the movement of blood through their veins and into their muscles, manipulating people's bodies to your will.

And you found out all this in just a few weeks.

You closed your eyes and rested your forehead on your joined hands. You were tired. Tired of being forced to accept a life you never wanted. You were a thief and a paid killer. Not any Grisha.

In the distance to your right, you heard a faint heartbeat. You sighed. Another bonus of discovering your powers. The sounds of the hearts of people around you overwhelmed you to the point that you had to hide in some secluded place to get rid of the pounding in your ears.

It sucked. And the man who was responsible for your miserable situation was standing right next to you now.

"I wouldn't take you for someone who prays to saints." his whisper echoed throughout the chapel. You turned your gaze away from him. You started looking at the stained glass windows in front of you.

"Maybe I just admire art, general."

"On your knees, with your hands together?" he asks sarcastically. You ignore the intense look of his dark eyes on you. He sighs, sitting on the pew next to you. "And it is Aleksander. I've told you many times."

"Shouldn't you be planning a war or something like that?" you huff, earning a small chuckle from him at your annoyance.

At first, you were afraid of this terrible, Black General of the Second Army. Over time, however, you allowed yourself to be more impertinent towards him. (When pretending to be an obedient Grisha irritated you to no end, you got into a fight and ended up in his war room while he was scolding you. You guess that you fascinated him not only with your powers then.)

"Shouldn't you get enough sleep for training with Baghra?" you groan in despair at his words. Baghra... another reason to run away from this place as fast as you can.

You get up from your knees and sit on the pew next to him. Kaz's letter tucked safely in the sleeve of your kefta, but you wonder how long it will be before he notices the unusual stiffness in your left arm.

"I'm not going there. This woman will kill me one day and tell everyone that it was my own incompetence that did it." his soft chuckle definitely shouldn't make your heart beat faster. You were glad he didn't have powers like yours to find out about this embarrassing fact. "I'm also a little concerned about you knowing my timetable." you say, actually suspecting that the general's good intentions are based on something completely different than your well-being. You still didn't know how you sold him the story about how the orphan from Ketterdam managed to become a servant for Ravka's royal family and didn't pass a single test during her stay in the Grand Palace.

"I care about every Grishas. Some require my attention more than others." He says, shifting his gaze to the stained glass window you were staring at.

Sankta Ursula of the Waves

"You can mock all you want, but I believe in them. You have to believe in something if you want to survive in Ketterdam."

He trembles slightly. He thinks you haven't noticed, but you have. He clears his throat and looks down from the image of a Sankta to look at something else in the chapel.

"Why you pray to her?" he asks, and you, not knowing the importance of this question at the time, shrug and simply say the truth.

"My brother crossed part of the sea alone when he was only 10 years old. If not thanks to the saint's help, I don't know how he survived…" you tell him.

You don't know why, but he has such an aura around him that you just WANT to tell him everything. It was easy to trust him enough to share some of your secrets... After all, everything that's in the shadows is safely kept from the world, right?

And in those dark eyes and that mysterious, confident smirk you could get lost so damn easily…

If you knew better, you would have tried to push him away from you instead of spending nights with him in the chapel, talking about your past or when he "accidentally" joined you, or in the palace garden when he "accidentally" wanted to walk around the lake in the moonlight. You have unknowingly let him to direct you straight to his intricately woven spider web.

And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen, and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

Genya has provided you with a wonderful kefta. However, its red was different from the others, Corporalki. It was more bloody, wine-like, and so dark that one could say it was mixed with black.

Aleksander said he needed to recognise his best heartrender, and this kefta, too fanciful for your taste, was supposed to be a symbol of your importance to the Second Army. As if the ridiculous amount of black thread he had ordered to use to decorate it wasn't enough of a sign that the Black General favoured you over his other soldiers.

It was one of many celebrations in the Grand Palace. However, on this occasion, the Tsar and Tsaritsa decided to invite the Grishas as well... or rather, have them entertain a crowd of self-righteous nobility on the occasion of the anniversary of the Ravka uprising.

You weren't a Ravkan. You weren't interested in some artificial celebration, but the general almost forced you to come to this stupid holiday with others... at least you could drink wine secretly with Genya and Fedyor.

You felt the blood flowing freely through your body as you danced with some other Grishas. You laughed carelessly for the first time in a long time and let yourself spin around as the handsome blonde held you in his arms.

The others' heartbeats hummed softly in your ears as you allowed yourself to let go of control a little. The orchestra's music effectively allows you to drown out the sound your powers have picked up.

Being so distracted, you didn't even notice when Grisha leaned closer to you and started whispering something in your ear. You laughed at the ridiculousness of his flirtatious offer and were about to reject him when suddenly an arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into a strong chest.

As soon as the familiar smell of burning wood and musk mixed with kvass enveloped you, you relaxed. Suddenly, the possessive, too-tight grip on your waist where his large hand was pressing against your stomach and holding his breasts too close to be appropriate didn't bother you as much.

And if, instead of inhaling his scent and perfume like some drug and getting high on it, you saw the death glare he was sending towards the guy who was only flirting with you, maybe you would understand that it was better to run away from him as far as possible instead of melting into the soft fabric of his black kefta and appreciating his muscles you felt through it.

But you couldn't think of anything else but how lucky you were that your summer keftas were so thin.

“I'm going to steal Miss Y/F(ake)/L/N for a while." he says as if he has every right to you. But you are too intoxicated (both by his close presence and the wine you drank) to notice that something is wrong.

And instead of yelling at him like you should have, showing him that you weren't a thing he could take whenever he wanted, you blushed as he turned you towards him and gave you that damned, dangerous smirk that made many Grishas women swoon.

"You looked like you needed saving." he whispers into your ear, gently touching his bearded cheek to yours.

You bit your lip, looking at him as he pulled away from you, perfectly playing the role of gentleman and your fucking knight on a black horse. Too perfect for you to notice then...

"Thank you, general, for caring so much about an ordinary heartrender like me." you tease him as he leads you in a dance.

"My best heartrender." he replies, running his hand down your back, making you shiver. He suddenly dipped you down, forcing you to lean on his hands and trust that he won't let you fall on the floor. You were so close in his arms that you felt every breath he takes matching yours.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Grishas whispering about you, but you don't care. Not while you have him with you, not while he's looking at you with such curiosity and admiration that you feel like you're the only damn person in the room. And you see his eyes linger longer on the black stitched decorations of your kefta on your waist and chest.

"Be careful, Ivan will be jealous." you tease, giving him one of your prettiest teasing smiles, and you almost hold your breath, seeing a hint of something akin to lust in his eyes, as dark as his shadows.

"He has his Fedyor." he replies, pulling you slightly closer to him, and you know he can feel your rapidly beating heart.

He was dangerous—everything you should avoid—something that young and naive girls were warned about. But you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame. And the fact that such a special, powerful man like him was interested in the thief and killer from Ketterdam like you made you unable to push him away.

You liked his attention. The way he touched your cheek tenderly as he brushed the hair from your face after riding with him. The way he sought your presence and the way he showed up at unexpected moments when you really needed someone. The way he gently grabbed your hand, amplifying your already formidable powers so you could practice bigger, more impressive things with him than with Baghra.

He made you felt special, chosen. And with every single second you spend with him, you wanted more from him…

He left you with the tingling feeling of his lips on your hand after thanking you for dancing. He walked away from you, giving you a second glance and a wink. And then you knew he would be your death...

And now that I'm grown I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know I wish you'd left me wondering

"I do not like winter." you say, sitting in one of his armchairs in the war room, warming your hands by the fireplace.

Baghra forced you to train outside, and the cold ingrained itself into your bones. You tried in vain to warm yourself up using your power. The old witch, seeing your incompetence, only let you go when your lips turned blue enough from the cold. And Aleksander was bustling around you now, wrapping an absurd amount of blankets around you and making tea for the two of you.

"Why is that?" he asks, placing the warm mug in your cold hands. You smile gratefully and take a sip, deciding that he did it perfectly, just as you loved it. Which, by the way, wasn't so strange, knowing how many sleepless nights you spent in that chair talking with him.

"My brothers once took me to a frozen lake to go ice skating. I fell into an ice hole, almost froze to death, and got a terrible cold. My mother said that I miraculously escaped death. My parents spent all their money on doctors and medicines for me. And as a result, my brothers and I were strictly forbidden to go out without her supervision. As you might expect, they weren't very grateful to me for this."

You see him swallow and stare into his cup in silence. You don't miss his tense shoulders and the frown on his forehead as he mentions something—something very bad, judging by the pale knuckles of his hands as they grip the cup tightly.

You slowly get up and put your mug on the table. You walk up to him and kneel in front of him. You take the cup from his hands before it breaks under his force, and you slow down his rapidly beating heart with your power to calm him down a bit.

The touch of your soft, gentle hands on his brings him back to reality. His dark eyes stare at you with great intensity, assessing and wondering something deeply as he pierces your very soul.

"I fell into the freezing lake too." he finally says, lowering his gaze to your joined hands. He plays with your fingers and draws patterns with his fingertips on your palm as he weighs his words, not looking at you, as if he might break down under your compassionate pattern. "I was 13 years old… two other children, my dearest friends, attempted to drown me in that freezing lake."

A cold chill runs through your body. You unconsciously squeeze his hands, trying to catch his gaze.

"Why?" you whisper, shakily, imagining that cruel moment.

He doesn't say anything. He lifts his head and looks at you, and he finds something in your gaze that makes him decide to stare hopingly into your eyes with his dark irises that reflect the glow of the fire in the fireplace for a while.

He sighs, closing his eyes, and suddenly you feel your hands tingle where your skin meets his. And it's not the usual feeling that washes over you every time you're in his intoxicating presence.

NO.

It was something bigger, more powerful, and much more addictive than anything, than Darkling himself was already to you.

"Use your power. Listen to the heartbeat." he whispers his command quietly, completely unlike the way he expresses his orders. And if you opened your eyes, you would see him staring at you intently, watching the reaction on your face.

And then you hear it. Thousands of heartbeats, you feel every flow of blood in the bodies of thousands of people present from the Little and Greate Palace, even throughout the whole capital.

Overwhelmed by so much power, you let go of his hands and breathe heavily, still feeling the blood rushing through your veins and that warm tingle spreading throughout you.

"What... what the hell was that?" you ask him in shock, trying to catch your breath. "How... how did you..."

"You know what an amplifier is, right?" he asks, sliding out of his chair and kneeling in front of you.

He reaches up and slowly tucks your hair behind your ear. You flinch at first at his touch, and he freezes, but you quickly nuzzle into his hand when you notice that you no longer feel as much power emanating from him to you as you did with his earlier touch.

"Yes, but..." you freeze, realising what he's implying. The impossibility of it all only stuns you for a moment. But so many impossible things have already happened in your life that, in the end, this little piece of information doesn't make that much of an impression on you. But you can't say the same about what you found out... about what he must have gone through in his childhood. They practically hunted him like those animals that enhanced Grishas' abilities. "Oh, Aleksander." you whisper and lunge at him to hug him tightly to you.

And by the short sigh he let out as he buried his face in your hair, and by the way it took him a moment to undoubtedly return your strong, tender hug, you knew that this wasn't what he expected, that this wasn't the kind of reaction he was used to seeing.

If only you knew back then that he would start using his memories more often as a weapon in the fight for your feelings, your affection, your forgiveness, and your compassion, then you would rather he left you in the dark, for him to never start sharing THE REAL parts of him with you.

If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was

Ravka's love day celebrations are… more successful than you would like to admit.

You went to breakfast, convinced that you would spend today's day off alone, locked in your room or gossiping with Genya about anything other than the romantic, tense atmosphere in the palace.

You were wrong.

It started with you being presented with various flowers from various Grishas along the way, asking if you would spend the evening with them. And they were various proposals. Dinner, a walk in the palace gardens, a horse ride, even spending the night with them (which you found disgusting).

You entered the dining hall and sat down in your usual seat, responding to Fedyor's teasing as you placed a bouquet of all the flowers you were given on the table next to you.

"You don't want to take them from me? Ivan would be happy." you try to shush him but he just laughs more.

"Better tell me which ones are from the general." he teases you, picking up one of the flowers and hitting your shoulder with it.

You tense up and blush slightly. You make sure to mask the beating of your racing heart so that Fedyor can't use it as a clue to your true feelings for the General, which have developed over the months you've spent in the Little Palace.

"None. And it better stay that way. As if all these women didn't look at me with hatred anyway. Can you believe that for all these flowers, no one brought me my favorites? Or any sweets?" you complain jokingly, digging into your food and trying to act as if you were unimpressed by his comment.

"And what are your favorites?" he asks casually, also starting to eat his food. You answer him and then suddenly someone sits next to you. Inferni - Luke, the one you danced with at one of the events and your faithful library buddy, gives you a shy smile.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" he asks, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

You feel Fedyor's eyes on you, but you try to ignore him. The heartrender flies away, leaving the two of you alone. You don't know how to answer Luke. He was that classic nice, funny guy that any woman would kill for attention. And probably, if your life were different, you would gladly accept his invitation and reciprocate his shy flirtation.

But you can't and don't want to do it. You don't feel an ounce about Luke what you feel about a certain dark-haired man in a black kefta. And when Inferni's hand connects with yours, you mentally compare the feeling to the tingling excitement that the mere look of Aleksander's dark eyes stirs within you.

Fortunately, you're not the one who has to answer. A grunt from the two of you makes Luke let go of your hand. You both stare at your general, who stands with his hands clasped behind his back. He approaches you slowly and catches your gaze with his dark irises before looking at the Inferni sitting next to you.

"Unfortunately, Miss Y/F/N will be busy tonight." he replies, not even trying to hide from you the silent, unspoken threat he sends with his gaze towards the boy who tired to ask you out.

Luke nods and leaves with a quiet: "Yes, General."

Alexander looks at you, and for a moment, that's all you do. And if you were a little more careful, less blinded by your fascination with this dangerous man who, for some reason, puts you at the centre of his universe, you would try to get away from him as far as possible.

But you are not.

He offers you his hand, patiently waiting to see if you take it or reject it. But you both then know that you are too deeply enchanted by his intoxicating appearance, too mesmerised by the sound of his voice, and too hungry for his touch to allow yourself to lose his attention for even a moment.

So you gently placed your hand on his. He wraps it in a safe hug and helps you up. He pulls you a little closer to him so that the materials of your keftas rub against each other. And the overwhelming amount of black embroidery on it practically hides the red material underneath, matching perfectly to the general's black kefta. This obvious match only now seems trivially obvious to you.

And if the Grishas had any doubt that you belonged to the Dark General, the fact that he pulled out your favourite flowers from behind his back and handed them to you with a small, charmed smirk as you took them from him and buried your nose in the petals told them so quite clearly.

In that moment, you too realised how deeply you felt for this man.

That's why, when he leans towards you, his bearded cheek brushing yours, flushed from the overwhelming feeling that overwhelms you in his close presence, you don't object when he whispers in your ear:

“I'm about to kidnap you for tonight.”

The rational part of you screams at you that this is a bad sign, that he is saying it with too much confidence and hunger in his eyes to be considered mere flirtation and not an act of pure possession and dominance.

But you don't listen.

You don't want to listen.

You want to drown in those dark brown irises, be consumed by his darkness, if it meant that for the rest of your life he would look at you as the only person he wanted.You want to finally feel wanted. Needed. Chosen. The one and only.

And the fact that it was this most powerful Grisha who made you feel this way only fueled your desires more and blinded everything your mind was screaming to your deaf heart. A heart that was deaf to everything that wasn't HIM.

"I can't wait." you whisper back.

And you know, by the way he nods at you and walks away with his usual confidence, the twinkle of victory in his eyes, and the huge, satisfied smile when he realises you're watching him closely until he's out of your sight, that you are gone for good and there is no going back to who you were. That he has clawed his way into your soul too deeply to ever try to deny it.

But lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us

This is one of the best nights of your life.

You knew this from the moment you climbed with him to the highest tower in the Little Palace, which was used to teach little Grishas astronomy lessons.

He laid down with you on the blankets and pillows he had prepared, especially for this occasion, and let you lean against his chest as you both gazed at the stars. You, safely wrapped in his arms and blankets, listened to his slightly accelerated heartbeat as if it were the sweetest music you had ever heard. And the fact that he rested his chin on top of your head, occasionally whispering something in your ear about the constellations in front of you, quickly became by far your favourite place in the world.

"For a long time I only slept under the stars. My mother and I always had to be on the run. We couldn't find a permanent place. People would try to kill the Darkling's son as soon as they found out about my existence."

You lift your joined hands and press a kiss to his as you continue to listen to him. You feel shivers run through his body. You learned, with the time you spend with him, that he was completely unaccustomed to the tender touch of another.

"They were my only solace in the darkness."

"Were you afraid of her? And your shadows?" you ask, turning in his arms to look at him properly. He shifts his gaze from the night sky above you to you and disentangles one of his hands from your grasp to caress your cheek tenderly.

"A bit. I couldn't control them then... they were... unpredictable. My mother used to mock me and say that I was no summoner if I allowed my own power to rule me."

"Aleksander." you whisper, tears in your eyes as you see the pain written all over his face. It was there every time he mentioned that cruel woman. You hold one of his hands tightly and say, with all your conviction and unwavering faith in this man, "You are the strongest person I know. You've been through so much... I'm probably not even aware of half of it yet, and yet, look where you are and what you have achieved. There has never been and never will be a better Darkling than you. You are caring and attentive; you take care of your people, and the Grishas under your rule are better than ever."

He stares at you, frowning halfway through your speech, and something like guilt shines in his eyes as tears begin to form.

You don't know it yet, then.

You don't know why he feels guilty. You don't know why he shivers as you lean into him to press your lips together in your first kiss. You don't know why his hands are shaking as he cups your cheeks. You don't know why, as you try to undo the buttons on his kefta, his hands suddenly stop yours. You don't know why he pulls away after a moment, whispering something under his breath as he practically runs away from you.

All you know for sure is his heart beating madly as he disappears from your sight and the tingling of your lips after the kiss the two of you shared a moment ago.

He hasn't come near you since that night. In fact, you feel like he's trying to avoid you at all costs. And in hindsight, you curse yourself for not taking the hint. That you didn't move away when he tried to make it easier for you.

But you were too stubborn, too longing for his presence floating around you like his shadows, to simply give up and do what's best for you. So you knock on his chambers in the middle of the night, and when he opens the door, you both know you're too far in all of this to try to ignore an attraction between you—this ache in your chest after not seeing each other for weeks.

You don't know who kisses who first. Or when he pulls you towards him and closes the door behind you to pin himself against it. You have no idea who took the other's kefta off first or when you found yourself in his bed as he tried to kiss every part of you. You know you feel safe, warm, loved, and at home. And it's a feeling you haven't felt in a very long time. And so did he. That's why you get lost in each other, completely disregarding the fact that, in the end, you would probably both tear each other's hearts out.

Oh, you're a crisis of my faith Would've, could've, should've If I'd only played it safe

He finds you kneeling by his fireplace as you slowly burn letter after letter you wrote to Kaz that he sent back to you. The bastard didn't even open it.

It's been a long time since you kneeled before anything other than him. Your faith in the saints was crumbling with each passing month in the ranks of the Second Army. If the saints were so powerful, why did they continue to allow Grishas to be treated worse than dogs?

You didn't understand it. And the next bottle of Aleksander's kvas that you opened only confirmed your belief that the saints sucked, your brother was an ungrateful scoundrel, and your boyfriend was the only good thing that happened to you. Boyfriend… it felt weird for you to call him that, but you had no other idea in your half-drunk state.

You put another letter into the fire when you suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around you, pulling you into his strong chest. You sigh, appreciating his scent and the warmth that emanates from him. His shadows slowly wrap around the two of you as you both kneel in front of the fireplace and the burning letters to your brother.

"Are you playing Inferni?" he asks teasingly as his hands go to the bottle of kvas you're holding, and he takes a sip from it.

"Possible. Did you have to grovel before the king again to get money for Grishas for uniforms, training, and food? Which should actually be his fucking duty to provide this for the soldiers who are bleeding for him and other royal snobs on the Fjerdan border.”

"Possible. Don't say it out loud or elsewhere. I don't want to see that pretty ass through the bars in the dungeon."

"We both know you'd save that ass and drag it back to your bed." you both giggle like fools. You lean more into him and sigh satisfied when he starts running through your hair, playing with it.

"Possible. Very much. Who deserves your hatred?" he asks curiously as you throw another letter into the fire. "Be careful not to set fire to my chambers. I have some nice, matching keftas here for the two of us."

"I'm glad you find it amusing that my brother is a dick." you complain a little, wondering what keftas he's referring to besides the ones you're currently wearing.

He insisted that you have at least one all-black one with red embroidery. Of course you agreed. You wanted people to know you were his.

"He didn't respond?" he asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. You take his hand in yours and start drawing patterns on it with your finger. You cling to his claw-like ring and play with it for a while, spinning it around his finger.

"He actually did. He write a big 'Fuck you' at the back of one." you say thoughtfully as you shift your gaze to the letters burning in the fireplace. Maybe it was actually better to stop trying to establish contact with him for a moment and give him space to think?

"Don't think about him. You don't need him." he says, nuzzling your temple with his nose. You frown and turn your head to look at him.

"He is my brother... that's a bound that never die." you speak strongly, convinced that you are right.

The determination in your eyes makes him fall silent, staring at you as he thinks about something, or maybe someone, as he mindlessly plays with your fingers—a nervous habit he showed every time he held you against him and he thought about his past. In moments like these, you just wanted to kiss the sadness and pain from his face.

"Maybe." he finally whispers back, lost in thought. Suddenly, he shakes his head slightly and flashes back to you from his memories. "Maybe it is better for him like that? To only care about himself. To show that he is not emotionally connected to anyone. Maybe he is trying to keep you safe?"

"Why live without love? Without someone close to you who waits for you and cares for you? Who believes in you? Who would have your back at your worst and when you need a rescue?"

"Sometimes people have no choice. It's safer to live alone. To care only about yourself. You know that your actions won't hurt anyone, and if they do, it will only hurt you."

"I would rather live one life in the arms of my love than hundreds of them all alone and in meaningless glory."

He tenses, but his grip doesn't loosen around you. If anything, he grows stronger, as if he's clinging to you to make sure you don't go anywhere further than his arms reach.

He kisses your temple and pulls you in so that you're straddling his lap. He strokes your neck and collarbone gently, and after a long, tender kiss, he whispers into your lips:

"I need to get out and visit a few camps near the fold. Come with me… I need to keep an eye on you to make sure you stay in these arms of mine as long as possible." he teases you, but you know his question-order has more meaning than he is willing to admit.

For the first time, neither of you are alone. You have someone to come back to at night, someone to talk to about your problems, someone to hold in your arms. And it's both a pleasurable and addictive feeling for the two of you.

I would've stayed on my knees And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen, and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know I wish you'd left me wondering

Sun Summoner. Saint Alina. Ravka's Savior.

The girl received more titles and merits, more hope placed in her than many saints to whom you prayed. You would feel sorry for her if she didn't completely rob you of YOUR Aleksander.

And you would endure it. Really. If only that little saint hadn't accidentally blurted out his name at dinner while she was talking to you.

And that's why you stood crying in your... his chambers. You were packing instead of getting ready for the winter fiesta celebrations, fully ready to mend your broken heart on the borders of Ravka, preferably in some camp near Fjerda, so that you could vent the anger, despair, and disappointment boiling inside of you to them.

Although you preferred to keep the heart of a certain little saint rather than some Fjerdan or Drüskell, and to be honest, that desire scared you.

Kaz was right. You chose comfort. You could have tried to escape from the Darkling better and put more effort into your escape plans instead of letting yourself be slandered by that damn bastard who gave that sunny whore a kefta in HIS colour after a WEEK. You waited fucking months for him to give you the black kefta you wanted, which was now hanging in his closet, abandoned like a rag.

In your anger, you packed your things blindly, oblivious to your surroundings. That's why you flinched when suddenly HIS hands gently held your arms, preventing you from packing any further.

You don't turn to face him. You don't make a move, waiting for him to say something as you listen to his heartbeat.

"Where are you going?" he asks, but you know he's only doing it to analyse his next move, to come up with a reason in his head why you'd want to leave him, and he's trying to quickly come up with a plan to talk you out of it.

You may not have known what a son-of-a-bitch he was, but at least you knew him almost as well as you knew yourself.

"On a vacation." you huff and shake his arms off of you. You close your leather suitcase with a bang and turn to face him. He notices that you're wearing your red kefta—the first one that clearly wasn't trimmed with a ridiculous amount of black embroidery typical of heartrenders.

"Y/N..." he sighs and reaches for you, but you pull away from him before his hands land on you and your traitorous body succumbs to his familiar touch.

"Don't. Don't even start it. I know what you are going say all to well."

"What are you talking about?" he asks, frowning at you. You look away from him and sit on his bed as you tie your travelling shoes and make sure you have your daggers hidden in them.

"Oh, you know. That typical 'It's not you, it's me' talk. And the classic 'I don't feel the same about you anymore. And it's my fault, not yours.' Just spare us this crap and let me go somewhere where I don't have to watch you cling to that sunny bitch."

In an instant, he's on his knees in front of you, clutching your hands in his. You know that looking into his damn hypnotic eyes will ruin you, but you're too weak to resist him.

"I admit... I've been busy with the Sun Summoner lately... but she's not the one I return to every night. She's not the one I think about every free moment; she's not the one I want to hold in my arms..."

"But she's the one who got the kefta in your colours from you. She's the one who learned your name before I did. The one you trusted right away when I had to earn your trust every fucking week here. She's your equal. Your goddamn complement. I won't stand in the way of your great, epic love and play the role of the other woman, only because you get used to having me around." you say mad and push his hands away from you.

And instead of letting you go and making the one damn right choice in your life, he stands up and traps you in the tight embrace of his arms and shadows.

You scream, squirm, and try to struggle out of his strong arms, even going so far as to pathetically punch his chest with your fists, but weakly enough that it seems more like a frantic act of your despair and hurt than an actual attempt. hurting him.

You scream, squirm, and try to struggle out of his strong arms, even going so far as to pathetically punch his chest with your fists, but weakly enough that it seems more like a frantic act of your despair and hurt than an actual attempt to harm him.

“Milaya, moye serdtse… (Sweet girl, my heart.)” he whispers in your ear, his hands caressing your back tenderly as you tremble against him. "You are the only light of my life. Moi sol ye tselai. (My sun and stars.) There is no one else, and there never will be. Alina may be the Sun Summoner, my opposite and complement, but it is YOU who challenges me, you are my EQUAL. It is you that I want to return to every night, you are with me... you are the one I want to always have with me."

And then it feels so romantic and sweet, so right, when he kisses the tears from your face and pulls the ring from his pocket to slide it on your finger after his quiet: "Kei onolich yash, milaya?" and your little, almost unnoticable nod.

It feels so good when he throws your leather suitcase off the bed in one move and lays you on it, worshipping you all night long and assuring you that he is yours and yours alone. You feel loved. Wanted. Chosen above the one and only Sun Summoner.

And in that moment, his warm, soft lips on yours, his cold hands caressing your body heated by him, the shadows floating around you that he accidentally released, and the sound of his pounding heartbeat in your ears were enough for you to forget that he was planning to gain Alina's trust in a nefarious way. It was so easy to explain it to yourself. It was so easy for you to convince yourself that he was a good man. It was definitely easier than admitting the obvious, painful truth.

After all, that was all you two wanted... to never feel lonely and unimportant again.

God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind

The fold is dark. Cold. It doesn't resemble Aleksander's shadows at all. Your fiancé is also nothing like the version you knew.

Version. That's exactly what he was showing you.

Another version of him. Another of his hundreds of lives. You were so naive and stupid. He had to handcuff you to the deck of the ship so you could finally understand what he was really like.

And so you found yourself in the front row, watching the Black Heretic widen his fold.

He has the nerve to walk up to you and brush the hair out of your face that has been ruffled by the wind his squallers have summoned. And he does it with such tenderness that you almost believe in the truth of his feelings. Almost. The handcuffs blocking your power and hidden beneath the fabric of your black dress—another one of his sick ways of marking his ownership—are a stark reminder of how he has degraded you and how he has reduced your role to nothing more than a pretty toy on his arm so that he is not alone in his madness.

"Please... I just want to talk." he whispers, his hand never leaving your cheek as he caresses it with his thumb with utmost care.

You don't look at him. You can't anymore. His face is a blatant reminder of your stupidity and naivety. Your greatest weakness and desire - all hidden in the face of a handsome devil in front of you. A Starless Saint you used to pray to in the past...

"I don't care how long it takes you, but in the end, you'll understand and come to accept that there was no other choice. That I'm doing this for us. For you. For all the Grishas." he whispers, placing a kiss on your forehead.

You're shaking. And you curse yourself for doing this, both because you're afraid of him and because his mouth still manages to tear down all the walls you put up because of him around your heart.

"Do not touch me." you snap at him, furious. Trying to at least pretend that you really hated him with every fibre of your being.

This doesn't discourage him. Even the other way around, he pulls you closer to him, tangling his hand in the back of your hair to whisper into your ear:

"I will banish this attitude from you in time, moya tsaritsa." you freeze at his words, realising his true plan—to expand the fold and take over Ravka. He wanted to become a tsar...

"You must be delusional to think for even a second that you will take control over Ravka and put me by your side."

"Isn't that what we promised each other? Stay with each other no matter what? I have seen what you truly are, and I never turned away. I never will." he's trying to convince you, and you know that if it weren't for the numerous lies and half-truths he fed you, you would join him.

You wouldn't care about what he did, what he intended to do, or who he would hurt to fulfil his sick plan that had been hundreds of years in the making. You feel weak and naive like never before. All because of the man, you decided to give your heart and all your devotion.

"I promised this to General Kirigan. Not to the Black Heretic, poisoned by his maniacal beliefs and blinded by the grip of authority and power. No matter how hard you try, you will never have control over anything. Your shadows and pride will be your undoing, Aleksander."

You gasp when he suddenly grabs your jaw roughly, tightening his fingers around your bones and preventing you from saying anything. He glares at you, a combination of betrayal and pain in his dark eyes as he tries to decide what to do with you. And you know that if you were anyone else, he would have used his shadows on you long ago.

And for a moment, you wish that he could finally free you from the suffering, hopelessness, and inner conflict you feel every time you look at his face.

"You shall be right by my side... no matter what you think about me." he promised you, which almost sounds like a threat, and placed a soft kiss on your cheek, near your lips. "You will understand; I know you will... we have all the time we need."

Before you can ask him about the meaning of his words, hell begins to break loose around you.

And you don't know what amazes you more, the fact that Alina is able to resist the bond and summon an incredible amount of light, or the fact that your brother appears next to you, and with the help of some mad hatter with a gun who turns out to be a fabricator, they free you. Kaz and his people take you away from the fold, Aleksander and his Grishas.

You are free.

Only your heart seems to be bleeding, left far behind you in the hands of a man you don't know if he's still alive.

And for the first time in several years, after you have a very emotional conversation with your little brother and after you promise to help the Sun Summoner, you allow yourself to cry quietly in the room they rented in some old inn.

And the worst of it all is that you don't cry for who you were, for the lost years in the Little Palace, or for how Aleksander changed you and transformed you in his image. No. You cry over him because you don't know if you'll ever see that damn bastard again.

And to make matters worse, you find a picture of a Starless Saint in the room. And you know that Aleksander, dead or alive, will haunt you for the rest of your life.

And his engagement ring resting safely on your finger is obvious proof of that.

I regret you all the time Can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

Baghra teaches you how to control and summon shadows.

Yes, Baghra, Aleksander's mother, who apparently turned out to be on your side, teaches you how to control and summon shadows.

During one rather nasty fight with Drüskelles, it turns out you can summon a fucking shadow cut.

And after Aleksander starts haunting you in your dreams and even in broad daylight, just like he does with Alina, you realise that she's not the only one who got an amplifier from him.

And so you found yourself in a library near the village where you were hiding, trying to find any information about Morozova and his amplifiers. And the women sitting across from you weren't much help.

"Why does he haunt her more than he haunts me? Could it have something to do with the fact that the bond between us is falling apart or is less durable than theirs?" Alina asks Baghra. You roll your eyes at her.

"He obviously has other… priorities." the old woman replies, clearly insinuating the motive for these priorities.

"Maybe please stop insinuating such nonsense?" you mumble over your book, trying to read the text.

It didn't help that you were distracted by their conversations and hadn't slept in days, too afraid of meeting him in your dreams. He was all you could think about anyway.

"I'm just stating facts. The boy constantly thinks about you; you think about him. You seek and reach out to each other unconsciously and appear before the other eyes."

"I'm not at all…"

"I wouldn't embarrass myself more if I were you." Kaz says, walking alongside Mal, Inej, and Jasper. Everyone but him is carrying large stacks of books for your wonderful group to look through.

"At least this one has a brain." Baghra comments, insulting everyone at the table. You can see from Kaz's look that he's rather pleased with her comment. "It's better for you that you're a cripple." you huff, amused, seeing Kaz's expression revert to his trademark cold stare. He frowns grumpily as he plops down on the couch next to you.

It was in good enough condition to allow you to lean on it for a while. That's why you took the opportunity and placed your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a moment.

"Are you going to meet your geek?" he asks teasingly, and if you didn't know him, you'd think the snarky tone was meant to mock you.

"You better keep an eye on your girlfriend, Kazzle. She's far too good for you," you whisper back to him and smile victoriously, hearing his heart speed up at the mention of Inej.

"Shut up and go to sleep."

You agree and allow yourself to fall asleep for the first time in days, hoping someone will wake you up if Aleksander invades your dreams again.

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners You and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood It was mine first

As soon as you open your eyes, you realise that you are in a different place, somewhere you have never been before. You look around the room and stop in front of the mirror. You shudder as you realise you're wearing the black kefta HE once gave you.

"One day without your annoying presence, is it that much to ask?" you say, turning around after you saw his figure in the mirror.

You shiver, realising that he's much closer than you expected. For a moment, you wish you could pinch yourself to get out of there. It would definitely make life easier for your battered heart.

"You're so successful at avoiding me that I have to take advantage of every opportunity you give me, milaya." he says and takes a step towards you.

You automatically step back, making him clench his fists, keeping them to himself. He sighs and looks at you again, his dark brown eyes scanning your soul, trying, as usual, to find something to convince you to come back to him.

"Please… I just want to talk. You know I would never hurt you." he makes his cute, kicked-up puppy face. Your stupid heart hurts to see him so... broken, but this time your brain is screaming over your heart's pleas for mercy to this man.

"Do you want to talk? Then maybe you can tell me why you put an amplifier in me? Why did you let me summon your shadows?! Why did Grishas have to evacuate from the Little Palace, and why is the king hunting us like Fjerdans and Drüskelles?!" you ask angrily, unconsciously moving closer to him with each sentence you shout at him.

"You can try to make me a monster if it makes you feel better, but I am not your enemy. And you know it. Everything I do, everything I have ever done, I've done for Grishas. And everything I ever do will be for Grishas and for you." he says, as usual, maintaining that damn composure that makes you hate him more. You hate that he pretends he's perfectly fine while you're falling to pieces every day you walk without him by your side.

"Lying. That's all you can do. Lie, manipulate. Tell me, how many gullible girls have you fooled with your beautiful eyes and idealistic talk? How much girlhood have you taken and used for your own benefit?" you ask him, wanting to hurt him, wanting to cause him the same pain he gave you when you found out the truth about him, and your world crumbled around you like a house of cards. Because that's all your life was. Illusion. An illusion created by a man you couldn't hate like he deserved you.

"I've never taken anything you didn't give me willingly."

"I gave you everything just not to lose you. You made me dependent on you; you made life without you seem like cruel torture; you showed me things that I can't even feel with anyone else; you manipulated me so well that I don't feel that I exist without being by your side." you accuse him with tears in your eyes. You're letting them fall freely as you look at his shocked, hurt face. "And every pain you brought me was like fucking heaven. And the worst part of it all is that I would still be your fucking faithful follower and completely surrender my battered soul to you if only you hadn't fucking lied to me."

You let yourself fall apart in front of him. You let him touch you again as he tenderly cups your cheek and pulls your head to his chest. You cry into his kefta, hugging him tightly and digging your fingers into his back as he presses his lips against your head and holds you tightly in his arms.

"I hate you. I hate you." you cry into his chest, inhaling his scent like a drug.

"I will always love you, milaya." he says calmly, but you feel the drops dripping on your hair, and you let yourself believe that they are his own tears as you stand there in each other's arms, clinging desperately to each other.

And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen, and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know I wish you'd left me wondering

Fedyor struggles with Ivan's grip. However, both you and the two heartrenders know that this makes no sense.

The two of you (and Baghra, whose whereabouts you were unaware of) were captured by Aleksander's men. You both actually volunteered. You were supposed to distract attention from the rest of your group of world saviors. Aleksander took the throne as he had predicted. And Ivan now leads you before the new tsar.

You walked through the corridors of the Little Palace, knowing this place all too well by heart, and you wondered if, when Aleksander was building it, he always had in the back of his mind that it would serve as his royal residence in the future. You were actually surprised that his first order wasn't to demolish the Grand Palace.

"Moi tsar." Ivan's voice pulls you from your thoughts. You weren't even aware that you had already reached the throne room.

"Finally. Interrogate the prisoner. Tsaritsa stays here." he says, and you feel his gaze on you, but you don't give him enough satisfaction to grace him with your gaze.

Fedyor swallows. You give him a sympathetic look as he walks away, with Ivan holding him tightly. What can war do to two people in love? You think. At least Fedyor knew how to hate Ivan... not like you.

There's an awkward silence between you for a moment. Only the rustle of his royal kefta and the heavy steps he takes in his shoes make you look up at him. And you hold your breath.

Of course, you had heard the rumours about his visit to the fold, leaving him with souvenir scars from his encounter with volcras, but well... it wasn't your fault that you immediately thought how hotter he was because of them. And with a crown on his head and a black kefta with red embroidery, he looked amazing. He had no right to look like that when you stood in front of him in your brother's oversized shirt and pants borrowed from Inej.

"Tsaritsa?" you finally ask with a sneer, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I knew you'd react to that." he says with a smirk, walking over to you. "I promised you this, remember? And I keep my promises. Even if I didn't really know you, Y/N Rietveld." you flinch at the sound of your real name, which you somehow managed to push from your memory. You also notice his clear reference to what you told him then in the fold. 'You lied to me too. About your identity. A paid killer. That's why you were at the palace, right? That's why I got the cup from you, with poison in it, if I'm not mistaken?"

"As you can see, quite miserable if you're still alive. Besides, I tought telling you half a story was not a laying at all?" you say, looking at him defiantly. He just laughs and stands in front of you, chest to chest, as you stare at one another.

"Is this how it will be now? Using each other's words against each other?"

"You can let me go, and then you won't have to talk to me at all." you say and he laughs, tucking your hair behind your ear and caressing your cheek with his thumb.

His fingers wander along your jaw, to your neck, to your collarbone, to your shoulder, and to the handcuffs on your hands, blocking your power.

"That's not the option. You are staying right where you are, right where you belong. With me." he says, and to your surprise, he removes the handcuffs from you. He takes your hands in his and presses his lips on the small, almost imperceptible marks on your wrists from handcuffs. He also didn't miss the opportunity to fondly stroke the engagement ring he gave you, which is still on your finger. It makes you blush unwillingly. "I can be your monster and force you to stay to make the whole situation easier for you."

"I would never choose you. Blood is thicker than water." you say, furious at his suggestion that you would choose him over your brother.

"But you can't leave without any of this, can you?"

You become silent. Because he's right. You can't live without him, and you have no idea what awaits you next, but you know that you will have to lose someone. And you are afraid of the end result more than anything else.

Suddenly, he stands behind you. You feel his chest rising and falling with each breath on your back as he suddenly raises his hands. There is something heavy, metallic, and heavy on your head. The bastard gave you a damn crown.

"It's you and me, Y/N. And we are all we need anyway." he says and places a kiss on your temple. He presses his nose, inhaling your scent and hugging you tightly, pressing you against him as his shadows circle the room and wrap around the two of you. You can't deny it and say that you don't feel comfortable at all, that you don't feel the relief that his presence once brought you. Because you do. You've always done. "I will give you the world, everything you want... all you have to do is stay."

You don't protest when he places a gentle hand on your jaw and tilts your head to kiss you. You don't try to break free from his grip as he deepens the kiss, expressing all the longing, anger, and affection you feel for each other. And you eagerly push him to his throne, to straddle him and prove that you want him as desperately as he wants you.

Oh, God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

You stood next to him. Just like he wanted. This was your plan before you even came back to him. Fedyor also got back into his good graces and gave them information, and you tried to convince your stupid heart that you were doing the right thing. And now you watched as Alina fought with him to destroy the fold.

And you're really prepared for him to die. You replayed this moment a thousand times in your head as you lay by his side in the Little Palace, watching him in his sleeping state.

What you are not ready for, and what the volcras around you make you realise, is life without him. Without his shadows. Without his voice. Without his dark eyes. Without his touch.

You're still trying to fight with it. Convince yourself that you are stronger and that you can do it. But when you see Alina pick up a Grisha steel dagger and aim it at Aleksander's chest, you react automatically.

You link your hands and form a cut faster than you can process it, and in a moment, the Sun Summoner ceases to exist.

It's just you and Aleksander in the fold.

The world stops for you. Your hands shake as you realise what you've done. And if it weren't for Aleksander's quick reaction and logical thinking, the volcra would have sniffed you out before you could take a step. He guides you out of your crease without even stopping for a moment. But you know it doesn't make sense. You will both perish without light.

Volcra attacks you, despite Aleksander's best attempts to keep them away, and cuts your arm. You scream as suddenly a bright light flows out of you along with your blood. Both you and Aleks freeze and stare at the strong beam of light from your shoulder.

Aleksander tightens his grip on you. You feel him as he amplifies the light within you and brings you out of the fold. You stop only when you are a few metres away from it. You kneel on the ground tiredly, mentally both cursing and thanking the saints, because you have no goddamn idea how you survived this and why Alina's powers transferred to you.

Aleksander is quickly at your side and wraps you in his tight embrace, whispering something you don't quite understand yet. You're too focused on the fact that you can't feel his heartbeat anymore. Your own powers are gone...

And with that, you realise that Y/N Rietveld had long been buried six feet deep beneath the walls of the Little Palace when your eyes met the devil you sold your soul to for the first time.

You gently push Aleksander away from you and kiss him, knowing that this is the only thing that can calm the storm of thoughts raging inside you as you absorb new revelations.

The fold claimed many lives. And it will absorb more than one in the future. It was the tomb of many common people as well as Grishas. And you know it buried Y/N Rietveld/Brekker today.

But a completely new person came out of it. Y/N Morozova. And she was no longer going to pretend that her soul knew anything of her old life anymore. She wasn't going to waste another night wondering how her life could've, would've, or should've gone. Not wasting another moment in the arms of the love of her arms, wondering if it was right to care about him. You didn't play it safe. So now you're going to take what life has got for you. And not alone. Never alone anymore.

"Let's go home, Sasha." you ask him, whispering.

And after a tender kiss on the forehead, you know that you couldn't have made a better decision. Maybe your soul has always been under the care of the saints, specifically this Starless one?

In any case, being the devil's wife suited you.

[euphoniumpets]

All of the girls you loved before | Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld! Reader

Summary: You never thought falling in love with the captain of hummingbird, yet alone the prince of Ravka.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld! Reader

A/N: i missed writing one-shots of my favorite characters and this came up my mind since i'm a sucker for the reader being Kaz's sister and something about taylor swift song send me feelings about this one.

Warnings: pure fluff, just some slight ptsd.

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

Of all the plans you conjured over the years, this had to be, by far, the morst risky, inconvenient, fragile, stupid plan yet. Maybe you'd been a little vague from the moment you saw the private ship and decided to board on it when you left Ketterdam.

You'd always wanted to venture out into the world, seeing the possiblities and what's out there, unlike your brother, Kaz Brekker. When Jordie died, you two were never the same. You succumbed into the darkness and you tried everything in your power to survive of the cold streets of Ketterdam.

You swore that day to yourself that you would not be there again, trying to figure out on how to survive. Because that's what you two did, despite seeking out the vengance you longed for, you longed for the freedom.

Leaving Ketterdam was the hardest part since you would not have your brother next to you at all times. Kaz had been at your side ever since Jordie died, not letting go of you since he was afraid that the same thing would happen to you.

But you assured him that you would be fine and that you would send letters when you had time to assure him that you was alive and well. Inej and Jesper was sad that little Brekker was going out and you wished that Inej could be there with you, but some day when someone didn't owe her, you would tell her about the adventures and someday, the two of you would venture out in the world together.

Jesper had handed you guns that he had bought in order to ''keep you safe''. Although, you didn't want to admit it, but the guns were pretty useful and you understood why know he had the passion for his guns since he would always talk about them.

And so you did say goodbye to the city who caused you harm and ventured out in the world. With your ability to blend in with your Ravka accent and your clothing, you got on board with no trouble at all.

You got settled in quickly by the crew at the Hummingbird, and Sturmhond, the captain was kind enough to lend you a room. Tamar was the only one who ever questioned your background over the years, but you kept quiet about it.

Of course, Sturmhond knew your story was patchy, but he also understood running from your past was better than anyone. The relationship between you and Sturmhond started suddenly, nobody saw it coming, including the two of you. He didn't see coming the ability to shamelessly flirt with you, or when his heart would jump whenever you was near him.

Despite when Alina Starkov and Mal had arrived at the hummingbird was the recognition in their eyes when they knew that you was there. Being the great friends that the three of you were, they didn't say anything.

You were glad that they decided to keep their mouth shut, and in return, you helped them to find the Sea Whip along with Sturmhond. You and Alina talked about there was something about your captain that the two of you couldn't put the finger on it, but you never discussed it further.

Then the groups were splitting up, and it was only you and Sturmhond in the room. The plan was discussed in detail, turning over and over. He knew that you were intelligent, and you knew that he was lying to you. Maybe a little to intelligent for your liking, but that's what you had been when you and your brother would plan the heist together.

''There's just one thing, before we join hands and whatever we do, I want to know exactly who i'm running with,'' Sturmhond replied and looked up from the map. You looked at him with an amused expression.

''Who are you really?'' He asked.

''I should ask you the same,'' You replied and crossed your arms. Your eyes narrowed at your captain. ''I see,'' He replied before closing the door.

''Nikolai Lantsov,'' He spoke, waiting for your reaction. It didn't came a surprise to you, knowing that he struck a deal with Jesper and Kaz when they returned back to Ketterdam. ''Y/N Brekker, I figure out that you're the one who struck a deal with my brother,'' You responded.

''Indeed,'' He responded. ''Now, why are you here?'' He asked and went back to his position. ''I already told you from the beginning,'' You rolled your eyes. ''And I guess your answer still stays the same?'' He asked.

''Yes?'' You replied, although, your answer sounded more as a question.

''So, how much does this change?'' You frowned. ''About us,'' He explained.

''Nothing,'' You answered and you saw him approaching closer to you.

''Really?'' He asked and you felt him coming closer to your body. You froze and didn't dare to move.

''Really,'' You answered. You looked up from the ground, meeting his hazel brown eyes. You took a deep breath, preparing for the feeling of drowning. It had always been like that after Jordie died, you couldn't stand other people's touch, just like Kaz had been with others. It made you feel drownsy, like you couldn't breathe as the water suffocated your lungs while you tried to catch your breath.

But some people were able to pull you out and some people were Nikolai and suddenly, you didn't felt like drowning, but instead, floating around with peace.

[milawritesstuff]

MilaWritesStuff M A S T E R L I S T

Footballers I write for: Pedri & Gavi

Requests are OPEN!

Posts marked with 🥵 contain smut.

** Will Update as I write More **

Last Updated 07/06/2023

(If you see any that I forgot please message me lol)

You can also find them all on my WattPad!!

🍌 Pedri: 🍌

Series:

Does He Know 1 - 13 Chapter

Sad Goodbye

Enemies to Lovers Part 1

Enemies to Lovers Part 2

Pedri x Taylor Universe (Fic based on T Swift Songs) 1-4

Babe (Pedri’s Version)

I Almost Do (Pedri’s Version)

Girl At Home (Pedri’s Version)

Back To December (Pedri’s Version)

Blurbs:

Pedri Fluff

Soft & Passionate 🥵

Learning languages

Jealous Pedri 🥵

Pedri Angst

First Time 🥵

First Time Part 2 🥵

Jealous Pedri

Walking in 🥵

Jealous Pedri Daddy 🥵

Pillow Princess 🥵

Pedri Bday 🥵

Jealous GF 🥵

Adorable Scar

Super Copa Celebration

Pedri Undertable 🥵

Couple’s Quiz

F1 Female Driver

Barça Female Player

Take Care of You

First Time Squirting 🥵

First Love Reunited

Streamer Girlfriend

Reassuring BF

In your Car 🥵

Colorful Friendship

Long Distance

Book 🥵

Stuck in a closet 🥵

Insecurities 🥵

Pedri Fluff - Injured

Walking In On You 🥵

Nice to Meet You - Fluff

Business Trip 🥵

Pedri’s Back 🥵

Pedri’s BFF

Sant Jordi

Hallpass 🥵

Post Rayo Match - Fluff

Goodbye Mini 🥵

Warriors Game - Fluff

Pedri’s fingers 🥵

BeReal 🥵

Bandido - Angst

Campeón de Liga 🥵

Unexperienced Pedri 🥵

Acrostico - Angst

Pedri x Gavi x Y/N 🥵

Pedri x friend -  Mienteme by Maria Becerra

2nd part to Hallpass - Quedate by Jencarlos 🥵

😡 Gavi: 😇

Series:

Gavi Forgotten Bday Part 1

Gavi Forgotten Bday Part 2 🥵

Blurb:

Aftermatch 🥵

Gavi Fluff

Rough Dom Smut 🥵

Jealous Gavi 🥵

Female footballer 🥵

Pedri's Sister

Teen Parents

First Time 🥵

Gavi's Family

Heavy Match 🥵

Crush

Touching Herself 🥵

Model GF

Jealous Fluff

Jealous ft. Joao Felix

Enemies to Lovers 🥵

Straight to it 🥵

Rain Angst 🥵

In Love With An Author

National Team Stress - Fluff

Gavi First Time - English�� 🥵

Gavi First Time - Spanish 🥵

[negative-speedforce]

if you had to limit yourself to ONLY ONE song for each of your OCs, their "theme song", what would you pick?

Siv: Villains Pt. 2 - Emma Blackery

Jay: Hey Brother - Avicii

Cassandra: Aries - Alice Chatter

Hailey: Dead Girl! (Shake My Head) - Au/Ra

Esme: I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Seeb Remix) - Mike Posner

Gina: 90 Days (feat. Wrabel) - P!nk

Arya: Dirty Little Animals - Bones UK

Ember: Faster N Harder - 6arelyhuman

Cat: Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers

Kyle: Still - Dove Cameron

Max: SECOND MINUTE HOUR - JORDY

Eric: Ordinary - Dazyface, Cayley Spivey

Jacob: Teenage Dream - Steven Dawes

Khalil: Eat The Acid - Kesha

Antonio: Home - AURORA

Rania: Can't Catch Me Now - Olivia Rodrigo

Ameerah: Screw Feelings - Au/Ra

Reggie: Wonderland - CHVRCHES

Meredith: The Calling - The Amazing Devil

Director Hawke: Dark Horse - Rain Paris

Cory: Only Love Can Save Us Now - Kesha

Kelsie: Mother Nature - RAYE, Hans Zimmer

Torryn: X Games - Au/Ra

Kausar: Breakfast - Dove Cameron

Onnie: Beautiful Mayhem - DeathbyRomy

Jessi: Siren - Kailee Morgue

Pippa: Eve - Precious Pepala

Hyun-Ki: Only You - Ellie Goulding

Marie: Yellow - Mayu Maeshima

Qiara: Honey - Halsey

Liah: Monsters - Katie Sky

Soraya: Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Athena: I Kill Everything - DeathByRomy

Laila: Love Into a Weapon - Madalen Duke

Reyna: Higher Love - Whitney Houston, Kygo

Thalia: Surface Pressure - Jessica Darrow

Pyrrha: Weapon - Against The Current

Aldrich: Rewrite The Stars - Zac Efron, Zendaya

Samira: HABIBI (My Love) - Faouzia

Sohelia: King - Lauren Aquilina

Vanessa: Heart to Break - Kim Petras

Matt: SYMBIOTIC - Starset

Dolores: Style - Taylor Swift

Victorie: Everything Matters - AURORA, Pomme

Kayla: Gasoline - Halsey

Dori: The Road - Faouzia

Ellis: Angel On Fire - Halsey

Gabi: Something To Believe In - Kesha

[divinefqces]

⭑ 1980’s names!

name master list ☀️ this list consists of (fem) names that were majorly popular during the 1980s. i will most likely be making a similar post to this eventually including sur names, if you have any suggestions you think would fit well in this list please lmk!

feminine

A ; amanda, ashley, amber, amy, angela, april, alicia, allison, alexandra, alexis, alyssa, anne, annie, angelica, angel, angeline, ana, audrey, aubrey, autumn

B ; brittany, britney, brittney, britanny, brandy, brandi, bianca, brooke, beth, brenda, barbara, bridget, bonnie, bonnabel

C ; christina, cristina, crystina, cristinna, christine, courtney, crystal, cindy, cyndi, cassandra, chelsea, catherine, cynthia, carrie, caitlin, caitlyn, cait, casey, candace, christy, colleen, carolyn, caroline, cassie, carla, claudia

D ; diana, dana, dawn, desiree, divine, destini, destiny, deanna, dominique, deborah, danielle, debbie

E ; elizabeth, emily, erin, eren, erika, erica, ebony, evangeline, elsie

F ; fallon, felicia, fern, francine, franchesca, faye, farrah, felicity, fiona, fiora, flora, freya, frey, frida, fatima, florence, frances

G ; gemma, gwen, gwenny, gabrielle, gabriella, gen, genevieve, genette, genesis, gem, georgina, giana, ginny, giselle, gina

H ; hannah, hazel, harriet, heather, hallie, hayley, hailey, holly, hope

I ; isley, ivy, imogen, isla

J ; jess, jessica, jessy, jessie, jessyca, jen, jenny, jenni, jennifer, jacqueline, jackie, jill, joanna, jaclyn, jaime, jamie, jordan, jordy, jordyn, jass, jas, jasmine, jasmin, jazz, jazzmin, jazzmine, jenna, jade, jayde

K ; krystal, kim, kym, kimberly, kymberly, katherine, kathryn, kathy, kat, katheryne, krystina, krys, kryssie, krissie, kristen, krysten, kristyn, katie, kate, kaitlyn, kaitlin, kathleen, katrina, kelsey, kara, kendra, kelly, kelli, kari, kourtney

L ; lydia, lindsey, lindsay, laura, lauren, loren, lauryn, latoya, leslie, les, lesley, leah, linda, lynda, laury, laurie, laurey, lori, latasha, liv, leigh-anne, lacey, lacy, laci

M ; maria, mariah, moriah, melissa, melyssa, michelle, michele, mychelle, mary, marie, monica, monyca, megan, meghan, megyn, megin, melanie, misty, margaret, molly, morgan, monique, miranda, melinda, marissa, meredith, merida, meagan, mallory

N ; nicole, nichole, nycole, nicol, natalie, natalia, nat, natasha, nancy, nina

O ; octavia, odette, odessa, olivia

P ; perrie, priscilla, patricia, pamela, payton, paige, paisley

Q ; quinn, quinnie, quinni, quincy, queenie, quen

R ; rachel, rachael, rachyl, rebecca, rebecka, rebekah, renee, reneé, regina

S ; sara, sarah, steph, stef, stefanie, stephanie, stefani, stephani, samantha, sam, shannon, sharon, stacey, stacie, staci, stacy, susan, susanne, susanna, sandra, sabrina, sheena, shauna

T ; trina, tiff, tiffany, tifany, tifaney, tiffaney, tiffani, tara, tracey, tracy, traci, tina, teresa, theresa, tara, tonya, tamara, tabitha, tasha, tammy, tamika, taylor

U ; unqiue

V ; vera, veronica, vanessa, victoria, vic, vickey, valerie, val

W ; willow, whitney, whit

X ; xandra

Y ; yasmine, yessica, yazzmin, yazzmine, yasmin

Z ; zara, zarley, zarlee, zarli, zarhlee. zoey, zoe

[whatisreggieshortfor]

I’d Lie

Based on I’d Lie by Taylor Swift, for @perfectlysunny02

Seb x MC

The was never a time Jordy liked riding in the passenger seat more than when she rode with Seb. He was a god awful driver, but he was her best mate, so the stupid shit they did together while he drove ten miles over the speed limit always made her laugh.

He was in the middle of telling her about something Doom had broken that he got stuck cleaning up- at least that what she thinks he was talking about. She zoned out a lot, just counting the levels of brown and gold that lit up in his eyes when they had nowhere to be and could just ride together like this.

She must’ve been wrong. He must’ve been talking about the date he’d gone on the night before, because the next words he said made her chest ache even though she didn’t let her smile fade, “I’ll never fall in love, I swear.” His fingers tugged through his hair, pulling the elastic out and letting the strands fall freely to his shoulders.

Jordy couldn’t help it, she laughed, “You’re wrong.” At least, she hoped he was.

She clicked around on her phone, plugging in the aux cord and letting his favorite song filter through the speakers. Maybe then she wouldn’t have to keep talking about it.

She remembered the last girl he dated, how she had given him a shirt in the ugliest shade of red Jordy had ever seen and when Seb asked why she chose that color, she had said she knew it was his favorite. Seb had given her a tight lipped smile, and Jordy knew why. His favorite color was green. It had been since they were teenagers and they would get themselves lost on walks in the woods whenever his parents didn’t notice him.

Jordy starts stupid arguments with him over meaningless things, because she knows he loves it. It’s always things that don’t make a difference in their lives. Who makes the better Joker? (They both agree it’s Heath Ledger.) Which of our friends would be the first to die in a horror movie? (That one always ends up a toss up between Nicky and Elladine or Tai. The lovers or the one naive enough to think they could befriend the killer.) Who is the band that revolutionized pop punk music? (They both have good arguments for various bands with this one, they argue about it the most.)

She has planned surprise parties for him every year, knowing he hates surprises, and he somehow never sees them coming. Two years ago she planned it for the day after his birthday, and he tried telling her she got the day wrong when he came home to their flat on the eighteenth and saw the streamers everywhere while Nicky blew a noise maker in his face. She knows his birthday is the seventeenth.

The only thing about him she’ll attribute to his parents is his eyes. They match his father’s, and she figures that’s how his mum fell in love.

But whenever Nicky asks, in his all knowing tone of voice, if she loves him…

She lies.

“No, Nicks, geez, he’s my best mate.”

“Don’t you think that’d be weird? He saw me with braces and I saw him in that awkward stage of transitioning from richy prep boy to the cynic we know now.”

And it’s not like Seb notices. When the group gets together, his eyes scan the crowd and she knows he’s looking for someone that attracts his attention. It only seems to fall back on her when the search comes up fruitless.

She wonders how he doesn’t see it if Nicky does. Wonders how he could overlook that she knows everything about him. Wonders how he doesn’t realize.

She knows the way he stands on one side or the other, never truly indifferent about anything like he tries to pretend.

She knows what it means when she comes home from work and all the lights are off while he plays MCR with his door locked. Something made him cry and he won’t let anyone see it.

But she never lets him see the way she desperately wishes he would see her that way every year when she blows out candles, every time she sees a shooting star, every time she breaks a wishbone during their Friendsgiving dinners that aren’t actually celebrated in their country.

And just like before, when Nicky asked how she felt, she lied.

“No, that’s crazy. He’s only ever my best mate.”

The way Nicky’s eyes widened told her what she needed to know before she turned around. And there stood Seb, nodding his head with his lips pursed before he turned and walked away. Nicky pushed her, “What are you waiting for, you knobhead? Go after him!”

It was like she was propelled forward, praying that whatever happened could salvage the friendship they’d been cultivating for fifteen years. “Seb! SEB, WAIT!”

“It’s fine, Jordy, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not fine!” She huffed, for someone that hated unnecessary movement, Seb could be quick when he wanted to be.

“Yes, it is,” he gave her a sad smile, “I never expected you to-“

“My God, Seb, what was I supposed to say?” He went quiet as she shouted, looking every bit of the anxious and scared teen she had left behind her years ago, “Am I supposed to tell Nicky I'm holding every breath for you? That even though you haven’t told anybody, I know you’re learning to play guitar because I see the callouses that no one else notices?”

“I didn’t think anybody saw that.” He tucked his hands into his pockets, and she laughed, because of course he wouldn’t see the big message here.

“I think you can see through everything but my heart, Seb. My first thought when I wake up every day is ‘My God, he's beautiful’. So l put on my make-up and pray for a miracle. Pray that you’ll notice. I could tell anybody that what your favorite color is or that you love to argue about things that have no meaning. But whenever Nicky asks… I lie.”

“You… lie?” A light shined in Seb’s eyes, almost like hope for what was to come next, but Jordy was sure it was wishful thinking.

“Yes. Every time he asks me, I lie. Because you’ll never fall in love. But I fell for you before I even knew I tripped.”

Seb chuckled, lowly as he pulled his hand from pocket and ignored the way his rings got stuck for a second before he carefully took hold of hers, “I’ll never fall in love because then I’d have to get up and crawl out of the hole you tripped me into. Why would I want to waste my time getting to know someone else when you’ve always been right here?”

Jordy’s eyes widened, “I- Are you-“

“I love you, you absolute moron.”

“Your moron.” She argued petulantly.

“My moron.” He agreed with a nod, smirking as he pulled her closer. When his lips were just a whisper away, he continued, “Maybe you should lie to Nicky more often if this is where it leads us.”

Her laugh didn’t make it past her lips.

Masterlist

[rudolphsboyfriend]

Hi! Omg thank you for tagging me <3

Last listened to: 'IDK SH!T' by Jordy

Current favourite: i can't choose favourites i tend to fixate more on albums and I'm kindof in between them rn sooo. Uh.

The best i can do is Maggie Smith's 'Dont Forget Me', Taylor Swift's 'The Anthology', and Orville Peck's 'Stampede' albums.

Song Of Choice: Pasoori by Ali Sethi X Shae Gill it's such a banger

@wedefyauguryy @bimbooctopus

MUSIC LOVERS ASSEMBLE!!

i feel like starting a tag chain so i hope this works out :)

reblog this with 3 songs:

the song your listening to right now (or last one you listened to)

your current favourite song

a song of your choice

______________________________________________________________

mine:

its now or never - elvis presley/love in the dark - adele

trastevere - måneskin

nevermore - queen

______________________________________________________________

tagggzzzz: (np ofc) @heartstopper-lover123 @s0lit4ir3 @ali-da-demon @vicwritesfic @skeelly @charliethinks @tori-my-love @chronic-skeptic @toulouseradiosilence @stewpid-soup @nine-frogs-in-a-trenchcoat @pessimistic-gh0st @theshyqueergirl @crowleybrekkers @a-bowl-of-soop @frogfairy444 @robinheaney12 @fairyghostgirlgaming @thatsawesomedontyouthink @venusplanetoflove2 @thelovelyvie @abookishshade @spir4nts-lun4r @i-have-no-idea-111 @kit-the-queer @a-wondering-thought @scatteredraysofhope @coco6420 @softlyunbreakable @givennnnnn @far-beyond-saving @darling-im-wonderstruck @heartstoppernerdsstuff @nonbinary-idiot-obviously @rebelrobinrules1984 @daydream-of-a-wallflower @leonine-elizer @angel-devil-star and anyone else who wants to join!!

[ivanreycristo]

VIRGINIA MAESTRO..2da parte del chiste de AYER sobre q me encuentras en MEXICO durmiendo al AMANECER 🌅 en la calle apoyado en un MURO BLANCO con el SOMBRERO CHARRO q se pusieron JORDI MENA [de los SANTOS INOCENTES=BUNBURY=1er grupo APOCALIPSIS y de JARABE DE PALO=CASTIGO=MALOGRADO PAU DONES q me firmó con SALUD su cd SOMOS q acaba con BUENAS NOTICIAS aunque DA MALAS y acaba x decir EL MUNDO AL REVES y llevando camiseta de cerveza MEXICANA "SOL"] y ALVARO SUITE [también de SANTOS INOCENTES y ahora de POZO de PEREZA o como le vi última vez en sala COOL en calle ISABEL LA CATOLICA con ATRACO de TELONERO q como PEREZA son de mi barrio ALAMEDA donde también se crío tu amiga cantante NAT SIMMONS=millonario judío estadounidense..a la q se llevo LOQUILLO de TELONERA] en el concierto de la gira HELL_VILLE de BUNBURY en GUADALAJARA [11_3_09]..y es q tras preguntarme SI ME ENCONTRABA BIEN y responderte TOELRRATO [lo q decía LAURA ESCANES sobre QUERER Casarse con su Ex_marido RISTO MEJIDE O TU PADRINO MUSICAL junto a SALVADOR REY O LOS PINKERTONES..y lo q dijiste tu tras cantar en su boda o por el AMANECER añadiendo que el AMOR ES LA RESPUESTA como sabia John LENNON cuyo último LP fue DOUBLE FANTASY en cuya portada se besa con YOKO ONO y q firmó a su asesino q el día antes visito a James Taylor o el 1er no Beatle en grabar en APPLE RECORDS y al q homenajeaste en un CONFERE_CONCIERTO q organizo Santiago Alcanda q conoció a malogrado Enrique URQUIJO de LOS SECRETOS y LOS PROBLEMAS el día q lo asesinaron y el cual apareció muerto en calle ESPIRITU SANTO en MADRID]..te PREGUNTO "QUE HACE UNA CHICA COMO TU EN UN LUGAR COMO ESTE" [mayor Éxito de los BURNING antes the DIVINE PICTURES] y me dices pues Estoy de GIRA y Me QUEDE SIN GASOLINA ⛽️ en la MOTO 🏍..por lo que estoy buscando una GASOLINERA..no sabrás donde hay UNA..y te respondo q casualmente acababa de estar en una para comprar la BOTELLA de TEQUILA y que si quieres te acompaño..y me dices q CLARO y que si TE DOY UN TRAGO ..a lo q te respondo que no deberías beber si luego vas a conducir y me respondes q es para conducirme a tu cama 🤣 🤣 🤣

[whynotcherries]

okay… now it’s time for six of crows as taylor swift songs. this is just for fun, i could be incorrect on so many of these. here we go.

kaz brekker - mr. perfectly fine - “so dignified in your well pressed suits // so strategized, all eyes on you // […] so far above me in every sense // so far above feeling anything.”

inej ghafa - i did something bad - the whole song. it just has the vibes. heavily implied murder? check. badass girl? check.

jesper fahey - cruel summer - “and i screamed for whatever it’s worth // ‘i love you’, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

wylan van eck - sparks fly - “won’t you whisper soft and slow // ‘i’m captivated by you, baby, like a firework show’.”

matthias helvar - ivy - “in from the snow // your touch brought forth an incandescent glow // tarnished but so grand.”

nina zenik - wildest dreams - “say you’ll remember me // standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe.”

jordie rietveld - the lucky one (I’M SORRY) - “and they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused, cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used. // […] it was a few years later, i showed up here, and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared.”

BONUS

kanej - treacherous - “nothing safe is worth the drive and i would follow you, follow you home.”

wesper - gorgeous - “you should take it as a compliment that i’m talking to everyone here but you // […] if you’ve got a girlfriend, i’m jealous of her // but if you’re single, that’s honestly worse // cause you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts.”

helnik - wonderland - “didn’t they tell us ‘don’t rush into things’, didn’t you flash your green eyes at me // haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds?”

the crows together - long live - “and the cynics were outraged // screaming ‘this is absurd’ // cause for a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world.”

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

The Muses - The Best Day

Kaz Brekkker x Original Characters (Platonic characters) : The Muses - The Best Day

Summary : Kaz hears a song of his sadness and is reminded of his past by three sisters

Warnings : A fight scene, angst, mention of Jordie.

Hi everyone, this is inspired by Taylor Swift's 'The Best Day' (Taylor's Version). The lyrics are Taylor Swift's, I just made a few adjustments to suit the story. This fic idea was in my head for sometime and I wanted to write it so here we are! This is my first time writing a Kaz Brekker fic so I hope I did him justice and please be gentle with me. I hope you all like it.

Ketterdam was gloomy as Kaz walked through its smoky and grimy atmosphere when he heard and saw a crowd that had not been there in that spot the day before clapping and applauding as they threw coins.

Generally, he would just ignore and move past the busy bustle. He didn't care unless it bought something of profit to him. He was just about to walk away when he heard an enthusiastic voice that the crowd had gathered around ask "Happy or sad?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" thought Kaz curiously as he drew towards the crowd who chanted "HAPPY!"

Kaz raised his eyebrows slightly as he walked through the tide of people that were attracted to this spectacle and saw three girls smiling brightly at them. The first was about seven years old, too young and too naive to be roaming about the dangerous streets of Ketterdam as she clutched onto the skirts of her older sister who was about Kaz age, her dark chestnut brown hair falling down her shoulders as she smiled at her younger sister who seemed to be about fifteen years old as she smiled mischievously at the crowd. They were all dressed in colorful but worn out skirts and blouses as they sought out money for to make a living.

"Orphans." concluded Kaz as he eyed the three of them. It was unlikely for Kaz to be distracted but something about the question had drawn him to them as he waited expectantly for them to show what them so special that they attracted so many people, tourists and passerby that flocked around them in fascination.

The oldest began to play a guitar

"I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on. I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you." began the little and youngest girl with a soft and sweet voice that immediately allured everyone as she smiled up at her big sister who was playing the guitar but grinned at her "I run and run past the pumpkin patch and the cart rides, look now the sky is gold."

She slung her arms around her oldest sister's waist as she sang sweetly "I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home."

Suddenly Kaz felt his heart ache with unbearable loneliness and misery. He could feel the soot and smoke of Ketterdam change and suddenly there he was back in the long winding green pastures and tall trees as he hugged Jordie who would tell him the most silliest stories under the shade of trees as the sunlight filtered through.

"I don't know why all the trees change in the fall. But I know you're not scared of anything at all." sang the little girl with hope and optimism in her eyes as she looked with hero worship at her oldest sister making Kaz want to beat someone to death. He couldn't breathe as for a brief moment he saw Jordie grin but then he vanished as Kaz realized it was only the oldest sister smiling. Kaz wanted the youngest sister to understand that her oldest sister was scared and it was inevitable that she was going to let him down one day. He had trusted Jordie who promised that their luck was changing and then everything had changed for the worst.

"Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away." sang the little girl hopefully as Kaz tore his eyes away from her because she reminded him of the little naive stupid boy he had been "But I know I had the best day with you today."

The fifteen year old picked up the song where it had been left as she started singing in her rich voice with a mischievous smile "I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean."

Kaz saw a vivid picture in his head of the story spun by the song as he eyed the second sister who looked fondly at her oldest sister "I come home crying and you hold me tight and take the cart."

"And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away." sang the fifteen year old girl with a grin as she spun around dramatically making everyone laugh "And we talk and window shop, till I've forgotten all their names."

Kaz heart clenched as he remembered how Jordie and him had first arrived in Ketterdam, with a cheque sewn in the coat and ambitious to make it. He remembered how they were just two farm boys dazzled by the lights and vibrance of the Ketterdam as they would walk through all of the hustle and bustle, looking at the intriguing and pretty things in the shops and how Jordie would buy him omelette to eat from the omelette stands. Those days seemed to be a picture in his mind, frozen behind glass but to the little boy who believed in magic and held his brother's hand, it was the best days of his life.

"I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school. But I know I'm laughing on the cart ride home with you." sang the fifteen year old girl mischievously as she nudged her oldest sister and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek making her sisters laugh while the crowd fawned over them.

Kaz heart clenched painfully as he looked at the three sisters grinning as he thought of Jordie "Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay but I know I had the best day with you today!"

Kaz eyes fell on the oldest sister who strummed the guitar contentedly as she began to sing alluringly and powerfully "I have an excellent father. His strength is making me stronger. The Saints smile on my little sisters. Inside and out, they are better than I am."

"We can agree on that." thought Kaz breathlessly, thankful for his cane for his knees had buckled when he had heard the oldest sister sing for the first time. Her voice was lovely and powerful yet made him feel at peace, something that he thought he would never encounter in this godforsaken town full of bloodshed and chaos. She was a siren in human form and he couldn't stop himself from being drawn to her as he listened to her alluring singing.

"I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run and I had the best days with you." sang the oldest sister sweetly as she looked at her sisters with a lovely smile.

"There's a memory I remembered from back when I was three." sang the fifteen old girl theatrically pretending to think but it wasn't insincere. There was a true sincerity and warmth in this song that drew everyone who needed it the most. "You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me."

It was painful for Kaz to listen as he felt himself drown in the ocean of memories full of Jordie. Jordie laughing. Jordie smiling. Jordie ruffling his hair. Jordie chasing him through the farm -

The little girl sang as she clutched onto her sister's waist as the crowd sank and settled into the warmth of the song "It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and seven dwarfs."

Jordie and Kaz Rietvald. Until he let Kaz down.

"And daddy's smart and mother's the prettiest lady in the whole wide world." sang the oldest sister with a reminiscent soft smile but Kaz felt the sadness in her voice.

"And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall." sang the three of them together warmly with soft and sweet smiles as they looked at each other "I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong."

"And I love you for giving me your eyes, staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew..." sang all three of them together as the song came to an end and Kaz looked at the sky with hidden tears as sudden sentiment and warmth engulfed him as he thought of Jordie who was watching over him "So I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today."

He always had control over his emotions but he swallowed his lump of emotions as he looked at the three girls who had no idea of the impact they had over the cold hearted Bastard of the Barrel.

Everyone was applauding and throwing kruge to their hats as they bowed and thanked them as the fifteen year old said "Oh thank you, thank you, you're generous! You've been marvelous!"

"I'm Isabelle" said the second oldest with a charming grin as she winked cheekily.

"I'm Dora." said the little young one

"And I'm Lily." said the oldest girl with a smile "We're the Muses!"

Kaz took a few kruge from his pocket and discreetly slipped it into Lily's hat.

This did not go unnoticed by her as her eyes widened slightly but she smiled warmly and gratefully at him. He didn't smile back, he didn't even know what possessed him to give his precious kruge to them. He had expected them to be mediocre just like the morons who tried to make it in the Barrel but failed. But there was something different about them, they exuded the warmth of home and understanding that the Barrel was deprived of.

As they collected their money stuffing them into their coats Kaz saw Councilman Romkan march through the crowds. Judging by his displeased facial expression, he was not here to pay the girls to perform at a concert.

"You! You are being a public disturbance and menace!"

"Ah Councilman Romkan, judging by your face that economy isn't in your favor eh?" asked the Isabelle cheekily with a salute as the Lily strummed a merry tune on her guitar "How can we help?"

Kaz noticed Dora sneaking away as she used the chaos to her advantage "Stop singing! You have no talent at all!"

"You should quit being a Councilman. You promise justice but you are cruel to those most in need!" stated Lily in a steely and cold voice with no warmth as everyone around her gasped. She didn't flinch but stood her ground and Kaz lips twitched slightly in admiration as she raised her eyebrows at the reddened Councilman "I thought we were being truthful."

"Arrest the little thieves for stealing the money!"

But Lily merely gasped as she looked at her sister pointing an accusing finger at her "You stole the money!? YOU STOLE THE MONEY? Guards, arrest her!

"You dare impugn my honor? She was the one who was stealing!" exclaimed Isabelle dramatically as she shoved her sister while Kaz rolled his eyes but watched this amusing scene unfold where the guards seemed to be clueless as to who to arrest "ARREST HER! SHE TRICKED THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE AND TOOK THEIR MONEY!"

Lily looked outraged "I'm the thief? Why don't you take a look at the mirror?"

"You better give them back the money you stole or -" began Isabelle theatrically as the whole crowd cheered when she seized a sword from a guard "En guard!"

Kaz knew he should be moving because time was money but he really wanted to see how this ended. He noticed that Councilman Romkan had lost control of the situation, the guards didn't know what to do and the two sisters were putting on a dramatic show for the purpose of enticing and entertaining the crowd who were now loving them as they cheered for the two sisters to cut each other to ribbons, the Councilman forgotten. He was curious to see how they would get out of this.

"Oh you are challenging me? I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death!" snapped Lily as she took a rapier from another guard who was startled but did nothing to stop it.

She waved the rapier at her sister with a challenging smirk as everyone gasped and cheered when the swords clashed as Lily said loudly "Any last words?"

"I will cut you into pieces and feed you to the dogs!" snarled Isabelle as she pushed away her sister who was suppressing a grin.

Meanwhile Kaz didn't know whether to be annoyed, exasperated or simply amused at the sensational shenanigans these two were pulling. It was obvious to him that they weren't really fighting each other, they are distracting the crowd so they could get out of trouble. They didn't fight like enemies, they just bickered as they acted theatrically and dramatically as if they now hated each others guts when they just wanted to escape the mess they were in.

"Oh all talk, no action. Let your sword prove your words!"

"I will! Take that" yelled Isabelle as she swung her sword which her sister ducked as they blocked their attacks impressing Kaz as they made their way through the square.

Isabelle jumped on the table of a coffee house as she swung her sword at her sister who blocked it as they both jumped from table to table making their way to a house "You little mincing barrel rat!"

They could act, Kaz would give them that. Their true calling was on stage, not groveling in a dirty streets of Ketterdam. He hadn't been to a theatre but this was the best show he had seen in a long time and it took only just two mad, funny and loyal sisters who had captured the attention of their audience who were now gasping and squealing and cheering, worried for the actors in the stage.

Kaz raised his eyebrows as his lips twitched when they fought each other as they climbed the crates leading to the roof of a house as both of them made it onto the roof and the crates fell down.

"Cheat!"

"Liar!"

"Thief!"

"That's a compliment in Ketterdam!"

Kaz was impressed at how they maintained balance while fighting each other and finally Isabelle acquired Lily's sword and the crowd who had been holding a breath let out thunderous cheers as Isabelle pointed the sword at Lily's throat. Kaz lips twitched as Lily rolled her eyes and he knew what was going to happen next.

Lily brushed the dirt off her clothes as she announced over the applause with a bright grin "Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw!"

Isabelle handed over a sword to her sister as she twirled her own sword with a smile as she bowed "Thank you all for coming! You've been great!"

Lily grinned like an idiot as she blew kisses to their beloved audience "We couldn't have done it without you! See you soon!"

Kaz' eyes burned in hidden curiousity hoping the wouldn't do something so stupid... And in that moment, Lily's eyes met his as he raised his eyebrows at her.

Oh in the name of his precious kruge, they were going to do it.

The two sisters waved at the crowd as they laughed in amusement as they jumped from the roof to the other side ignoring the shouts of the guards as they grinned at their little sister Dora who was waiting for them. They hugged Dora glad they were all safe and decided to do what they always did.

Run without looking back and laugh without holding back.

Because everyday spent with each other was the best day ever.

Kaz stared at the rooftop where the two sisters had previously stood as he heard the echoes of their amused laughter at having fooled everyone and escaped with their lives. He briefly wondered whether they were alright but it was none of his business. It was not his business to care about every poor orphan that scuttled around in the Barrel unless they were valuable to him.

For a brief moment, he felt the joy and amusement, the warmth of home and understanding that he had felt back when Jordie was alive.

But then he shut it out.

Because he could not afford to be sentimental. He could not afford to be weak. Those three sisters could look after themselves.

"Can they, Kaz?" asked Jordie's laughing voice that rang in his head mocking him "Can they really look after themselves?"

Hi, so let me know what you think. I'm thinking of continuing this but I'm not sure.

[gvnmetal]

Jordy x Taylor

"Each time you happen to me all over again."

I read this quote this morning and it made me think about Jordan specifically. Like even in DC the Unspeakable Thing happened and Jordan left Taylor and their family in Canada and ran away to America.

There's Riley still and now there's Cubbie in this universe which makes me believe that if you ask DC!Jordan if he's happy with his life the answer will be a "Of course I am." followed by a soft smile. Picturing him wearing warm sweaters and dirty boots living somewhere near a river or a pond, with fall coming in and bringing dry leaves he'll be too lazy to clean properly and the opportunity to light up the fireplace. Actually, I think it's a similar life I'd like him to have in the regular verse as well, in the future once things are better I guess.

But see, even in Different Choices – where Jordy still gets the chance to wake up with Cubbie drooling on his shoulder still wearing his yesterday's clothes – I know Jordan would still think about Taylor and their family quite often.

And then we know with Riley meeting Ethan it would only be a matter of time before shit hits the fan again and Jordan is forced to face his brother again and BOY I have no idea how that would go tbh

BUT ANYWAYS I was also thinking about the scenario where the Unspeakable Thing never happens. The one where a friend stops Jordan from going home drunk, convinces him to stay and sleep the alcohol away. And then the morning after, when he sneaks back home all he gets is a judging look from his father and his mother rolling her eyes and telling him to shower because he smells terrible.

Picturing a world where Jordan never acts on his feelings, one where he decides to stay, finishes school, shares embarrassing stories about his friends to his brother when he comes home, goes out for walks with his mom when Taylor and Paul are busy watching TV together and only moves out when he gets a job offer in Ottawa that even has his dad clapping his back and smiling proud of his oldest son.

Jordan hesitating to take the job but knowing he has to, has no good reason to say no to that. Taylor would also be getting in college soon as well and I don't know if he would also stick around or choose one far away, either way Jordan knows what he has to do and moves to Ottawa and hates the city but learns that he needed that break and space.

It's not a good alternative to the original story but one I know Jordan would often think about, "What if I'd never done that? What if I never left?"

I don't know how that would affect Taylor's personality and behavior. I don't know if eventually Jordan would simply accept that exists inside of him but it's too wrong to do anything about it, or maybe if one afternoon he would tell Taylor, open up and tell him the truth while they're drinking coffee in their family living room.

Oh and Glass Animals released their new album and I cried a bit hearing "Youth" for the first time because the beginning kills me like:

Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war I want you to be happy Free to run, get dizzy on caffeine Funny friends that make you laugh And maybe you're just a little bit dappy

–– September 9, 2016

But now that you've wrote more on Taylor's personality and mental health I don't think it would've made things that much better either on the perspective of them being happy as individuals. 

[twinkubus]

I would love some book recs! especially queer literary fiction!

Amazing!! I would love to share :) Also responding @ anon who asked for my trans book recs. This is for you too!

Since this is so long it'll probably get cut off on the dashboard, tl;dr there will be 1) list of trans-authored books and 2) a list where I talk about queer authors more generally (which includes some trans people that don't have trans characters in their books (yet)).

Trans Books by Trans Authors

Sketchtasy by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Nevada by Imogen Binnie 

The Pervert by Remy Boydell (graphic novel)

X by Davey Davis

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman

Transmuted by Eve Harms

Future Feeling by Joss Lake 

Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor 

Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel by Julian K Jarboe

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones by Torrey Peters

The Masker by Torrey Peters

Little Blue Encyclopedia (For Vivian) by Hazel Jane Plante

A Dream of a Woman by Casey Plett

A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett

Little Fish by Casey Plett

Confessions of the Fox by Jordy Rosenberg

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars by Kai Cheng Thom

The Black Emerald by Jeanne Thornton

Summer Fun by Jeanne Thornton 

Small Beauty by jia qing wilson-yang

The above are all trans-authored books that have trans characters in them. They are mostly lit fic with a few dips into genre here and there. I have bolded some of my faves!

For queer book recs/authors more generally,

Poppy Z. Brite, the pen name of Billy Martin, who is gay and trans. He has some great 90s horror novels, in particular Exquisite Corpse, a gay serial killer thriller/romance.

Dennis Cooper, writes gay "extremist" fiction, my fave of which is The Sluts, which takes place entirely on an early 2000s gay escort forum.

Shola Von Reinhold, another trans author, wrote one of my fave books I've read this year, LOTE, which is textually extremely transgender, but I don't think explicitly "labels" the mc as trans, so I'm putting it in this list. I usually use 'dark academia' as a pejorative but this would be dark academia in the best sense of the word. Involves lots of research into weird stuff, hyperfixations, and very little academia.

Brontez Purnell writes lit fic about black gay men, and has another one of my fave books, Since I Laid My Burden Down, as well as probably the best title in this list: Johnny Would You Love Me If My Dick Were Bigger. Those were both smallish press releases, I believe, but he's gotten more attention recently via his FSG short story anthology, 100 Boyfriends.

Sarah Schulman. If you are on Tumblr hopefully you already know about her. If you haven't read any of her fiction, I'd recommend Rat Bohemia, Empathy, and People In Trouble (this is the book Rent was based off of).

Brandon Taylor is very popular on twitter but I feel like I haven't seen much about him on tumblr. I really liked his debut novel Real Life, which follows a gay black postgrad student in a midwestern PhD program full of mostly white people. He also has an anthology, Filthy Animals, full of linked stories that take place in a similar setting.

James Baldwin. Another classic author. If you haven't read Giovanni's Room, go read it.

Carmen Maria Machado has a stunning memoir, In The Dream House, about lesbian domestic violence. She also writes speculative fiction stories, some can be found in the collection Her Body and Other Parties.

Eric LaRocca is gay horror's current darling due to his breakout hit Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, about an online long-distance lesbian d/s relationship. He's been pumping out the books recently, all with great titles and covers.

Jean Kyoung Fraiser released a debut last year that was in my top faves as well, Pizza Girl, a coming-of-age story about a just-married and recently pregnant 18 year-old who works (you guessed it) as a pizza delivery girl, and develops a crush on an older woman, one of her customers.

Venita Blackburn wrote How to Wrestle a Girl, a black lesbian coming-of-age short story anthology. Also a recent release. I really loved the writing in this one.

...Okay, I think that's most of the big hitters for me at least! Going to give a few honorary mentions: Love in the Big City by Sang Young Park, translated from Korean, about the life of a young gay man in Seoul. Also anything by Joe Koch, who writes horror, nothing specifically gay/trans that I have read yet, but The Wingspan of Severed Hands is really beautiful stylistically.

And just one more, since it's October: The Route of Ice and Salt by Jose Luis Zarate, published in the 90s and translated from Spanish, a gay reimagining of Dracula's sea voyage to England.

[northoftheroad]

Dick Grayson’s Nightwing suits, Part Two

The return of the fingerstripes, design by Bruno Redondo, 2021. (First seen in Nightwing vol 4 # 88)

Dick’s original Nightwing suit in a version where he could zip up the deep v-neck and with a wrist-band firing tech. Tales of the Teen Titans Annual # 3. Writers Marv Wolfman and George Pérez, art Gorge Pérez and Dick Giordano. (1984)

Nightwing as an action figure and in a tv and comic cartoon. New Titans # 93. Writer Marv Wolfman, art Tom Grummett, Adam Hughes and Al Vey. (1992)

Elseworld Nightwing in New Teen Titans Annual # 10. Written by Marv Wolfman and Louise Simonson, art Scott Lee, Martin Griffiths, Kevin Conrad and Dan Davis. (1994)

Rebirth suit with glider wings. Nightwing vol 4 # 6. Written by Steve Orlando and Tim Seleey, art Roge Antonio. (2016)

Nightwing vol 4 # 39. Writer Sam Humphries, art Jamal Campbell, Phil Jimenez, Matt Santorelli. In a flashback, the first version of the “discowing” suit is made of Dick’s old workout gear. (2018)

Which artist doesn't love to be able to make new suits for their heroes...? At different times in future-timelines of Future State, Dick was shown wearing several different models. 

Future State: Nightwing # 1. Writer Andrew Constant, art Nicola Scott. (2021)

The Future State: Teen Titans story takes place a few years after Nightwing, but there's also a flashback with Dick in a suit that looks a lot like his current, but with a T on the belt. Future State: Teen Titans # 1. Writer Tim Sheridan, art Rafa Sandoval and Jordi Tarragona. (2021)

Teen Titans Academy # 1. A prequel title for the Future Staten Teen Titans that, honestly, I don’t expect will ever come to pass because I don’t believe a comic book company will or can tie their main comic book line to a future set in stone...

But anyway, it’s pretty much the current (2021) suit and the same as seen in the Furure State flashbacks. The old Titans have a T on their ordinary suits. Writer Tim Sheridan, art Rafa Sandoval. (2021)

The Man who Flies. in Batman Black & White (2021) # 5. Story and art Jamal Campell. A version of the Rebirth suit with glider wings – and it's probably those wings which gives the suit stripes on the side of his torso in a lighter colour.

Titans United # 1 (2021), a comic tied to the tv- show Titans. 

Nightwing in the Fanon-friendly Webtoon Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (2021). Episode # 7. Writing CRC Payne, inks Starbite, flats & rendering C M Cameron. 

Young Justice: Phantoms, season 4 (2021). 

In the Fantasy AU comic Dark Knights of Steel (2021). # 1, writer Tom Taylor, art Yasmine Putri.

Nightwing in the 2021 animated Injustice movie, where he of course dies and becomes the new Deadman.

Nightwing dress uniform in Teen Titans Academy # 9 (2021).

Nightwing in the third season of the animated Harley Quinn on HBO Max, with Harvey Guillen as voice actor. (2022)

Batman: Gotham Knights – Gilded city # 2 (2022), a tie-in prequel comic to the game Gotham Knights.

A number of costume options for Nightwing in the Gotham Knights game (2022).

Matching biker jacket in Nightwing vol 4 # 93 (2022).

Another version with glider wings in Nightwing vol 4 # 94 (2022).

Nightwing vol 4 # 104. (Dick gets a temporary new suit when he is tempted by a bad guy with the powers of Superman.)

In Batman Superman: World’s Finest # 21 (2023), main universe Batman and Superman visits Earth-22, known from Kingdom Come where Dick was called Red Robin. Here, he is called Nightwing and the artist Dan Mora wrote on X/former Twitter that this takes place before Dick became Red Robin. So there appears a retcon of Dick’s history on Earth-22 has taken place. 

(At least, it would make his daughter’s codename Nightstar more logical, if her parents were Starfire and Nightwing rather than Robin/Red Robin. And in the comic The Kingdom: Nightstar from 1999, a younger Dick is seen with a Nightwing-like suit.)

Se also Dick Grayson’s Nightwing suits, Part one:  

https://northoftheroad.tumblr.com/post/618292087194025984/dick-graysons-nightwing-suits

[rabbittstewcomics]

Episode 349

Comics:

DC

Justice League 75 by Joshua Williamson, Rafa Sandoval, Jordi Taragona, Matt Herms

Trial of the Amazons 2 by Becky Cloonan, Vita Ayala, Michael Conrad, Stephanie Williams, Joelle Jones, Elena Casagrande, Adriano Melo, Laura Braga, Skylar Patridge, Jordie Bellaire, Romulo Fajardo Jr

Marvel

Amazing Spider-Man 1 by Zeb Wells, John Romita Jr., Scott Hanna, Marcio Menyz

Knights of X 1 by Tini Howard, Bob Quinn, Erick, Arciniega

Marvel Meow 5 by Nao Fuji

Thor 24 (750) by Jason Aaron, Tom DeFalco, Al Ewing, J. Michael Straczynski, Donny Cates, Walt Simonson, Dan Jurgens, Lee Garbett, Olivier Coipel, Ron Frenz, Das Pastoras, Nic Klein, Laura Martin, Matt Wilson, Matt Milla, Antonio Fabela, Alejandro Sanchez

Image

Blood-Stained Teeth 1 by Christian Ward, Patric Reynolds, Heather Moore

Dark Horse

British Paranormal Society: Time Out Of Mind 1 by Chris Roberson, Andrea Mutti, Lee Loughridge

Tentacle Kitty: Tales Around the Teacup

IDW

Godzilla Rivals vs. King Ghidorah 1 by Adam Gorham, E.J. Su

AfterShock

Naughty List 1 by Nick Santora, Lee Ferguson

Heavy Metal

Starward 1 by Steve Orlando, Ivan Shavrin

Bite-Sized Archie OGN by Ron Cacage, Vincent Lovallo

Agents of S.L.A.M. OGN by Dave Scheidt, Heidi Black, Scoot McMahon

Yojimbot by Repos Sylvain

Additional Reviews: Doctor Strange by Donny Cates, Picard 2:9, Moon Knight ep5, Choose or Die, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles, Batwoman omni, Amphibia, Owl House

News: June is George Perez month at DC, American Jesus Netflix adaptation, El Muerto, Omninews, Zod returns in The Flash movie, The Batman gets a sequel, DC Round Robin finale, Frank Miller and Dan DiDio team up to form a new publisher, Neal Adams, Batwoman is cancelled, Captain Marvel and Ant-Man swap release dates, Watts leaves MCU FF, Legends of Tomorrow cancelled, Wonder Twins movie canceled, DC announced Dark Crisis tie-ins, Image releases Outpost Zero

Comics Countdown:

Rogues 2 Joshua Williamson, Leomacs, Jason Wordie, Mat Lopes

Punisher 2 by Jason Aaron, Jesus Saiz, Paul Azaceta, Dave Stewart

Ghost Cage 2 by Nick Dragotta, Caleb Goellner

Thor 24 by Jason Aaron, Tom DeFalco, Al Ewing, J. Michael Straczynski, Donny Cates, Walt Simonson, Dan Jurgens, Lee Garbett, Olivier Coipel, Ron Frenz, Das Pastoras, Nic Klein, Laura Martin, Matt Wilson, Matt Milla, Antonio Fabela, Alejandro Sanchez

Newburn 6 by Chip Zdarsky, Casey Gilly, Jacob Phillips

TMNT: Last Ronin 5 by Peter Laird, Tom Waltz, Kevin Eastman, Esau Escorza, Ben Bishop, Isaac Escorza, Ronda Pattison, Luis Antonio Delgado, Samuel Plata, Ryan Kinnaird

Justice League 75 by Joshua Williamson, Rafa Sandoval, Jordi Taragona, Matt Herms

Rogue Sun 3 by Ryan Parrott, Abel, Francesco Mortarino, Chris O'Halloran

Dark Knights of Steel 6 by Tom Taylor, Yasmine Putri, Arif Prianto

Swamp Thing 12 by Ram V, Mike Perkins, Mike Spicer

Check out this episode!

[chaotictarlos]

Thanks for the tag @malexsoulmates

Rules: spell your url with songs and then tag as many people as there are letters in your url. 😊

C - champagne problems by Taylor Swift H - Happy Accidents by Saint Motel A - As It Was by Harry Styles O - Open Door by Nights in Stereo T - The Night We Met by Lord Huron I - If the world was ending by JP Saxe, Julia Michaels C - Close to You by JORDY T - Trevor by JORDY A - Alone by Halsey R - Remember This by Jonas Brothers L - lonely isn't the word for this - by Zach Hood O -Old Town Road by Lil Naz X S - Strangers by Jonas Brothers

no pressure tags: @noxsoulmate @sivan325 @rangergurlgleek1211 @xtltokio @tarlos-spain @homosexualstrand @angeltk @doublel27 @actuallysara @sapphire11 @edwardbaldwin @steveng-rogers @daytonsferrari

[badgrishaverseaus]

six of crows warcross au

i’m sorry for the bad starwars au, i’ll try my best at this one! 

warning: this will be poorly phrased because i have zero braincells left

the dregs as warcross roles: 

kaz: captain

inej: thief

nina: shield

matthias: fighter or shield

jesper: fighter

wylan: architect

WARCROSS AND WILDCARD SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

i can  actually think of multiple scenarios: one with kaz as hideo and inej as emika. the kaz/hideo part would totally fit (jordie as sasuke/zero) but i just can’t  see kanej in the form of hideo x emika. kenn=per haskell?

however, matthias and nina as hideo and emika could fit as well. matthias may not as similar to hideo tanaka as kaz but it would fit lol (kenn is jarl brum)

bonus for the ninej/emijax shippers: wildcard but nina is emika and inej is jax and they run off together leaving matty behind :’)

wylan and jesper could fit as zero and jax in another scenario, i’m not sure. van eck is taylor. 

hope this is better than the star wars one! again i’m sorry for the poor phrasing!