#jonny sims when i catch you jonny-

[accidental-apocalypse]

Protocol is actually just us Magnus Archives fans rapidly descending into s2-Jon-levels of paranoia. Granted, just like s2 Jon, we have reason to be paranoid, but it's still hilarious to see us all collectively scaling the walls of our enclosure while frothing at the mouth over our theories.

Jonny and Alex are playing us like a cheap harmonica and I'm so here for it

[ineffablejaymee]

Martin: I love you

Jon: I love you too

Martin: But im not gonna sacrifice the world over it

Jon: Thank you

and ive killed myself im dead i cried myself to death

[parsleysaauce]

Chester and Norris- *gets hit with a lead pipe*

[darker-plague]

have this blorbo, as a treat

[soupdwelling]

i cannot get over the audacity of jonny sims to give us a blossoming gay romance for the entirety of season five and then RIP IT ALL AWAY in mag 200. literally the equivalent of giving a toddler a shiny new toy and then grabbing it out of their hands and throwing them out the window

[avariceaside]

YOU CANT END IT THERE

[disappointingcabbage]

TMAGP 22 thoughts, spoilers under the cut

Lena what the fuck why is your reaction to Gwen almost getting killed “ok but why didn’t you get their contact info”

Also I love that she referred to [ERROR] as the “watching figure” like I know the transcript last week initially called them Archivist but it’s nice to have confirmation that wasn’t immediately backtracked on lmao

I don’t know how to feel about Gwen getting demoted for this one, I think she did the right thing when she ran away, and that’s what Lena seems upset about. However, the real reason she should be getting demoted is the classism and condescension that pissed off ink5oul in the first place tbh.

Also I’m sure Gwen retaining her title in order to not look bad on the inspection totally won’t force her to have to go back to actually talking to externals ever /s

Also, Mrs. Kelley? She’s MARRIED? She’s either Elias-style repeatedly divorced or her partner is equally cold and autistic there is no other option

ooh Augustus time

Shejdjrjdiejdi Hans Berger is such a name teehee hamburger

Oh no, they’re experimenting on dogs :(

and people

is this a case of Hans going “hey dude your recipe’s fucked up” *proceeds to describe how exactly he did not follow the instructions* because it sure sounds like it.

Unless I’m misinterpreting and the instructions he received from the guy he’s corresponding with said to do the silver replacement thing bc I thought he got the silver idea from someone else

Okay now he’s using methods from ANOTHER guy. Dude how in the fuck are you blaming Richard for this?

Okay now he’s just pulling a new technique out of his ass. Of course your findings were weird, you didn’t use Richard’s technique, just something very vaguely similar

Bro’s really trying to create Jekyll and Hyde right now. Has he not read the book? Shouldn’t he know how terrible of an idea that is???

Ah yes, the standard 1920s activity of insulting your wife’s work speed while she’s working with a completely new configuration of equipment. Prick.

Also love the fact that the Hyde part of this dude can only communicate through Hans’s equipment

“Can you hear it?” Jesus Ursula that’s literally the most ominous thing you could say right now

Of course Hans assumes that she’s talking about the obvious equipment noise

Oh shit, Doctor Malpractice over here gave this poor dude a grand mal seizure

oh no this poor dude HANS YOU MADE HIS BRAIN MALFORMATION BURST WHAT THE FUCK YOU KILLED HIM

…are we ever gonna find out what Ursula was hearing?

you didn’t think to look over your data until weeks after the fact? are you shitting me? the data wasn’t even part of the investigation into this poor dude’s death?

Oh she was hearing exactly what this guy was saying via the telegraph. That’s really fucking cool, actually.

Well, Jesus. The second consciousness was not having a good time, apparently.

Oh this is the same night as the last episode

Sam catching onto Alice deleting his files immediately is peak comedy

Obviously he’s pissed about this

“You just want to control me again” oh that’s why they broke up

“That if I showed you the ropes we could” YOU COULD WHAT ALICE

ooh Celia has Magnus info?

JONATHAN SIMS AND MARTIN BLACKWOOD??????

FUCK YOU JONNY AND ALEX YOU CANT JUST END THE EPISODE THERE

[candlecoo-sideb-art]

I SCREECH! Too cute, and sorry if all the asks bother you...

Jon' finally catching up on all the sleep he missed the last several years! He probably could have slipped under the kidnapping radar, if he didn't need to feed the Eye. I'm just imagining now the first planetary officials going "Jonny De'ville!" "No? I'm Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, a historian and, well, archivist."

Jon gets so much sleep now, he's even more like a cat just napping whenever he isn't reading and/or feeding the eye!

But remember since being pulled into this new universe not only does Jon have to feed the Eye but Martin has to feed the Lonely now, since he transitioned into full avatarhood during the apocalypse.

It takes them a bit to actually go off into the stars but when they do Jon only has a short time before he starts getting mistaken for D'Ville. He constantly has to go no I'm not Jonny D'Ville, I'm Jonathan Sims the Archive. While Martin has no trouble going onto different planets and trying on different identities(like Ashes does)!

Though Jon isn't the only one who runs into trouble even Martin gets kidnapped at least once, and boy will Jon be furious about that!!!

[charlitabutterscotch]

I'm so completely normal after tmagp 23 and malevolent 44

Harlan Guthrie when I catch you. When I catch you Harlan Guthrie.

Spoilers for the new episodes below!

Idk if Harlan was the one to write this specific part, or if it was Jonny, but the way Sam called "Jonathan Sims" a generic name will NOT be funny XD

ALSO WDYM THEY DIED???? HUHHHHHHHHHHH

Celia you ain't slick with that "elsewhere" 😒

HELEN AND BASIRA MENTION RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

HELLO ERROR THE ARCHIVIST

I love you Alice

Also unrelated but Harlan did a fantastic job with this statement!! The body horror was sooo unnerving, and the ending was so creepy as well!

That being said, this statement was also very Malevolent coded with how Alesis' body was slowly being taken over, and how she was essentially being trapped in a new body that took her eyes (this also parallels to Jonah Magnus taking over Elias Bouchard's body and his eyes).

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT MALEVOLENT EPISODE???? THEY BOYS FINALLY SAID I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER *INCOHERENT SCREECHING*

[myhandisfatemywordislaw]

would you like to read a mechs fanfic that starts kind of silly then swings violently into angsty grief? because if so youre in luck, and you can read it below the cut, or here on ao3! the chain of thought that led to this fic was begun with this post and thus I dedicate this fic to this photo of jonny

mr sims I am very sorry. this is my stupidest fic yet

Tim wrinkled his nose. Jonny was beginning to smell again. No, that wasn’t right; he reeked, the stench of dirt and sweat and blood and whisky and cigarettes and god knows what else was rolling off him in waves, and it slammed into Tim as soon as he entered the room. Sighing, he quickly retreated to find Brian.

Tim approached cautiously, his hands held out in front of him, as though trying to tame a wild animal. 

“Hey, Jonny,” he said carefully. “Don’t you think it’s time to have a wash?” Jonny’s head jerked up, ears twitching, and he spun on his heel, but Brian was already moving to catch him when he tried to bolt. Brian grabbed him by the loop of one of his belts and pulled him closer, getting a hold of his arm. Tim snatched the gun from Jonny’s holster before he could draw it. He struggled a little, muttering angrily, but he knew the fight was already lost; there was no way he could match Brian’s mechanical strength, and he was forced to follow as Tim led the way to one of the bathrooms. A hot bath was already waiting there for them, and the Toy Soldier stood nearby obediently. 

“Thanks,” Brian said, smiling warmly, and it grinned in return. TS had run the bath, then. 

“Alright Jonny, are you going to take off your clothes this time, or will you insist on getting them soaked?” Jonny had never had any problems undressing in front of them, but he knew what would happen next. Jonny glared at Tim, glancing nervously at the bath. He seemed to realise the fight was lost though, and he unbuckled each of his belts in turn, then slowly removed his clothes, handing them to TS, who happily marched off with them, hopefully to wash them. Brian, now also undressed, took hold of Jonny’s arm again, pulling him after Brian as he clambered awkwardly into the bathtub with a loud clanging of metal. Tim helped Brian lift a furious Jonny into the bath after him, and Brian sat him down between his legs and wrapped his arms around his stomach from behind so he couldn’t escape. 

Jonny glared angrily at the wall and Brian looked at Tim expectantly as he removed his coat and rolled up his shirtsleeves, then picked up the bottle of body wash. He began to slowly work the soap into the flesh of Jonny’s arms, washing off the elbow-deep dried blood and the dirt encrusted around his fingernails. Though his feet stank from being in those hot boots all the time, Tim made quick work of Jonny’s legs. He began to gently rub the soap into Jonny’s chest, pausing to lightly trace a finger along Jonny’s top surgery scars. There was blood encrusted on the edge of the metal plate covering Jonny’s mechanical heart and deep, red scratch marks. Tim said nothing as he gently washed away the blood, though the scratches remained. Jonny scrunched up his face adorably as Tim turned on the shower head and pointed it at Jonny’s hair, then slowly worked the shampoo into his hair, washing away the buildup of grease, and Jonny seemed to relax into his gentle touch. 

Tim swallowed nervously as he rubbed some soap onto a flannel. This was always the worst part. As he lifted the flannel, Jonny’s eyes went wide with panic and he began struggling in earnest, muttering “no” over and over as Tim grabbed him by the back of his head and cleaned his face. Jonny thrashed as Tim wiped away the last traces of dirt and makeup, then as Tim pulled away Jonny fell limp, like a puppet with its strings cut. 

He was shaking slightly, and then he did something very unexpected. Jonny began to cry. Quiet tears quickly built into uncontrollable sobs that wracked his whole body as he curled in on himself.

“Jonny-“ Tim started, but as he did so, Jonny seemed to catapult himself out of the bath, splashing muddy water all over the floor and knocking Tim to the ground as he sprinted out of the room, still naked and sopping wet. Brian stood quickly as though intending to follow, but Jonny was already long gone.

Jonny rubbed his face furiously as the tears that still spilled uncontrollably down his face blurred his makeup, again, and he tried to restart. He had dressed in a loose shirt and trousers, and put on a heavy belt across his body. Its presence was familiar and comforting, and he gripped it tightly with one hand while he used the other to start again, carefully tracing the swirling black lines across his face, skin red where he’d repeatedly rubbed at it to start and restart his attempts. He looked into his tear-stained face, covered in faint grey lines he’d tried to wipe away, and thought of Nastya. 

The first time Nastya saw herself in a mirror after she was mechanised, she stared for several long minutes with an unreadable expression at the dark grey lines that emanated from her eyes, then abruptly stood and walked out. Jonny didn’t know what to do or how to help so he let her leave. He later found her curled up in a dark corner, crying. She explained, haltingly, that she didn’t understand why it upset her so much; she had never prided herself on her appearance, why did she care? But she couldn’t stand the idea of looking in a mirror and seeing someone else, being made into something other than herself against her will. She needn’t have said anything. Jonny understood. When you’re half-dead there’s no way to consent to mechanisation, and what has been done cannot be undone. Did he hate Carmilla, for dooming him to an eternal life, changing the very essence of his being, without any kind of consent? He wasn’t sure. Not really, not yet at least. He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder, then scrambled to his feet and left, and traced out black lines onto his face for the first time. When he returned, he smiled hopefully. 

“Now we match,” he said softly. That was the first time he saw Nastya smile.

When Jonny came back to himself, he was curled up in the foetal position on the floor, one hand partially inside his mouth and the other hugging a dark coat to his chest. It wasn’t Nastya’s, of course it wasn’t, she took her coat with her when she went Out, but it was the closest Jonny could find. It was about the same colour, and he’d scattered some engine oil on it and he always left it in the vents in the hopes it would start to smell like her. Of course it never would, and the pale imitation almost made him feel worse. He’d even sewn on one of the Aurora patches. It was all he had, that and his makeup, that he knew he would never stop wearing, even though he knew she would never return, except he couldn’t even put the fucking makeup on right because he couldn’t get a hold of himself, and he was fucking useless. Jonny sobbed into the coat, his whole body shaking.

A hand lightly touched his arm.

“Jonny?” Tim said softly. “Jonny, what’s wrong?” Jonny didn’t respond, didn’t even look at Tim, but he didn’t try to resist as Tim teased his hand out of his mouth. It was more sore than he expected, and he almost felt guilty when he saw the way Tim’s face fell at the sight of the curving bite marks on Jonny’s hand. Tim pulled Jonny to his feet and he stood without complaint, but when Tim tried to gently tug the coat from his grip he tightened his hold and flinched away.

“I won’t let you take her from me,” Jonny whispered, clutching the coat like a lifeline. Tim held out his hands placatingly.

“I’m not trying to take it away, I just thought you could wear it instead,” Tim replied softly. Jonny looked at Tim with trepidation, but this time allowed him to pull the coat from his hands and drape it over Jonny’s shoulders. Tim took in the sight of Jonny’s face, blotchy with tears, red skin rubbed raw, with messy, blurry black lines. 

“You were upset because you didn’t want to take off the makeup? Because it’s to do with Nastya?” Tim guessed. Jonny nodded furtively, staring resolutely at his hands, which were fidgeting with his belt. “Oh, Jonny,” Tim mumbled, hugging him. Jonny froze for a moment, then relaxed into the touch. He let out a slight whimper as he tried desperately to avoid crying again. “Do you want me to do your makeup?” Tim asked. Jonny nodded, and Tim pulled back and gestured for him to sit on the bed, which he did. Jonny shut his eyes as Tim carefully wiped away Jonny’s previous attempts, then began to trace the swirling patterns onto his face. Jonny tried to hold still as he felt the cold pressing into his skin. When Tim was done, Jonny looked across the room into the mirror to see his signature makeup, and he let out a shaky breath of relief. He lay back on the bed, wrapping the coat tighter around him, and looked hopefully at Tim, who obligingly laid down beside him. Jonny cuddled into his side, gripping the coat tightly as he allowed himself to fall asleep in Tim’s arms.

[thesiltverses]

Okay, I have to ask because I've seen people mention it even my sister mentioned it but she couldn't remember when she heard it and when I relistened to the episode I still didn't catch it....was there a jonny sims cameo in the recent episode?! I thought people were just imagining it but in the recent episode commentary you posted you put a time stamp saying he definitely wasn't in it but I can't tell if it's sarcasm and when I checked the time stamp it's just shrue and cross talking 😭😭 Is there actually a cameo?

Deadly serious - there's no Jonny Sims in the last episode!

[jazzically]

GUESS WHAT I FINALLY STARTED!!!!!!!!! thats right i got thru all the post-tma-s5 and pre-tmagp-s1 bonus content and we are now on tHEEE MAGNUS PROTOCOL!!!!!!! oh my god i am absolutely LOVING it so far. dude . i was worried i wasnt going to like it because of a random reddit post i saw on google (silly i know reddit's full of party poopers) and also because i thought jonny wasnt going to be involved with the writing at all (for some reason) but OMG!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!!!!!!! bouncing in my seat this is SUCH an EPIC premise

during magp 1 i thought to myself "i hope they have a canon reason for microphones everywhere listening and also for the computer voices becoming human and also for the talented writing of the cases" and then 3 seconds later i thought "how very silly of me, of course they do"

SO YEA FEELING GOOD!!!!!! vvvv excited to see where this is going. when i first saw the name "the magnus protocol" on spotify i got CHILLS i was like oh my god i bet it's fantastic (granted i was on like season 2 of tma at the time so . i had a ways to go . but still) AND IT IS

i am finding it slightly harder to discern between voices and make out what they're saying but its only ep 2 with a whole new cast so we'll see

OH YEAH I FORGOT ANOTHER THING!!!!: i cant BELIEVE i didnt recognize jonnys voice as castor or whatever its name is at first. he is such an incredible voice actor like what . the flip. bro he and alex actually sound like robots like genuinely

now who is augustus.....????!!!! hmmm...and what decides which narrator is going to speak? how do they speak with the cadences and intonations of the mind of whoever originally wrote the words? and why are some of the episodes dedicated to people that share last names with the characters ??? also gwendolyn BOUCHARD?? SCUSE ME?? ooooooohhhhhhpgggggh im so exciTEDD but i hav ehomework to do. sob sob. catch yall later. OH OK LAsT LAST THING i loooove the main theme !!!!! that one person on reddit (i dont have reddit i just google things sometimes) was right, the theme does sound like the og magnus theme but upside down. i LOVE the subtle musical callbacks and motifs og h my god.

also i dont totally understand the case file naming system yet but we'll get there.

ugh this is SO COOL

lmao i love how it was like "you thought the mouthful of numbers for mag statements was bad? well here's a long string of even worse gibberish for you to learn !!!!" (i am overjoyed)

(update i think augustus sounds like mr leitner 🤨 ms. sims may yet have her moment to shine in the magnusverse..... jonny if she doesnt get to cackle then shame on u /j)

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 83 woop woop!!

JONNY BOY

ooh first proper statement in a while

Wait he took some statements with him??

Georgie is actually so right. I love her so much. He really needed some good fucking advice in his life from someone he hasn't thought might've killed someone before

I COULD BE ON DRUGS HAHAAAAAA NO YOU SMALL LOSER BOY

Why did he even jump to that conclusion?? I wasn't thinking ah yes drugs and I don't think a normal person reacting to this situation would immediately jump to drugs maybe insanity yes but not drugs

Universal autistic experience, having someone you're close to say that they know you "get obsessive about stuff"

YES GEORGIE!!!!! SHES THE ONLY ONE NOT FUCKING ENABLING HIM!!! HE DOESNT NEED THE STATEMENTS

oh shit is this the start of him depending on the statements??

Oh shit I guess not being able to go back to his flat makes him homeless

Oh right someone dropped the statement through the letter box

SHIT SOMEONE DROPPED IT THROUGH THE LETTER BOX

SOMEONE KNOWS WHERE HE IS

AND IS GIVING HIM STATEMENTS???

Fucking Elias I bet, who else would it be??? he was like yah I know where Jon is but I'm not gonna tell you to daisy and he's creepy enough to fucking send statements through the mail so there

Ok I'm sorry what was my man doing in those four days??? Sitting there rocking and muttering to himself staring at a fucking piece of paper?? Hmm?? Not fucking sleeping???

Investigating MY ASS what INVESTIGATION do you plan to do holed up in your ex gfs house???

Ah fuck he needs it

When does it stop becoming paranoia and start becoming an addiction?

YEAH GEORGIE YOU SHOULDNT BE KEEN ON WEIRD STALKERS KNOWING YOUR ADDRESS YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT AND THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS WHOLE PODCAST (apart from Joshua Gillespie and Karolina gorka my loves)

AHHH HE DIDNT EVEN GET THROUGH HEAD HES JUST GOOD OLD JONATHAN SIMS NOW

He doesn't have any of that pomp and fancy pants titles anymore, it's just the fucking paranoia and realisation that it's not just a normal job, he can't ignore it anymore

It's funny how it finally sinks in how it's not just a normal job when he gets fired from it

Ok just did a quick google fanton isn't a real department store that's a good start

Haha yeah customer service people deserve medals

Omg of course the tma transcripts write Halloween as Hallowe'en that's so tma of them

Oh fuck stranger alert

Oh shit is that Nikola??? As in everyone on Tumblr talks about her Nikola???

Her condition?? Why does it sound like they're describing her as a fucking werewolf??

Ok this is fucking creepy I actually fucking despise mannequins I don't think I'm gonna enjoy these stranger statements

FUCK I HATE CLOWNS

AHHHHHHHHH

Ooh she's smart she goes in with 999 dialled love that for her

oh FUCK that shhh was terrifying

Oh god Lana was killed???

Blood in a single neat line across her lips???

Uckinf SHITBALLS

Jesus fucking christ

I BET HIS ASS MISSES THOSE "EXPERT" ASSISTANTS

FUCKING BREEKON AND HOPE???

Circuses, skin, not quite real - the STRANGER

It seems like now he sort of knows what's going on, he's catching on really quickly, he's categorising things and using what he knows which is good it's steps in a positive direction

I guess he doesn't want another axe table fiasco

The taxidermy shop oh yeah the guy who was like yeah this is paranormal and creepy as fuck but he's not committing tax fraud so it's fine loved that guy

Elias probably sent it

Oh shit he doesn't know Elias knows where he is

SHIT IT WAS HAND DELIVERED

God poor Georgie, she's housing his pitiful ex boyfriend who lost his weirdo job and is going insane and bringing the weirdness to her life

What was he looking into??? Like Not-Them stuff??

"I've got work to do." Fucking famous last words

Jonathon "workaholic" Sims strikes again

Although I guess it's not workaholic when it's threatening your whole life

I guess it's just...surviving

[sharkonasock]

JONNY SIMS WHEN I CATCH YOU.

[gotacuppa]

WHEN I CATCH YOU JONNY SIMS. WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU —

[pressurediving]

Alexander J Newell and Jonny Sims when I fucking catch you

how dare you actually???