#jon: lol elias you too

[miyuskye]

Imagine this. You're preparing to go stop an eldritch horror, while simultaneously trying to get an edge over your evil boss. It's a very tense situation and what does one of your comrades do? He starts having this weird joke exchange with said evil boss. Wow.

Basira is way stronger that me because I would've yelled at them to please get a room.

[gooboogy]

(image ID in alt text)

My TMA oc "The Witness" I don't have a name for him yet but he's a servant of the Eye and he's a serial chronic statement giver. He's just always around witnessing things to bring back and give a statement for. He is obsessive about being a voyeur, to the point that he even unsettles Elias (who he's INFATUATED with)

I don't think he has like eye observing abilities, but I think he's able to just be in the middle of situations and influence people to want to let him go as a witness of their atrocities. He gets nightmares still after giving statements but rather he has a lot more autonomy than Jon does. He gets to experience the horrors again as well as Jon's horror, a little bit of eye powers cannibalism as a treat. He also adores Jon, really he loves loves anyone connected with the eye but especially other avatars.

I wanna say he has some sort of avatar immortality too, but also I think that if his eyes get taken he just dies, like he's just dead. Any other part of him can heal. If he has one eye then he can regrow the other. But also you just reeeallly want to show him something and let him go.

Anyone he Witnesses won't have nightmares but they'll have daymares. Any time they lose focus and start to drift off Suddenly they are Being Watched and those memories resurface, always following them, keeping them hyper vigilant. Eye with a dash of lonely and distortion

part two here

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

literally so done with rhaegar antis at this point. we know practically nothing about this character besides all the good things other characters say about him and the fact that robert baratheon hates him and says things about rhaegar that ned disagrees with. and robert baratheon is a pos so being hated by him only does favors for rhaegar’s character imo.

but somehow all these characters who think well of rhaegar are just lying. even though almost all of the characters who have spoken/thought well of rhaegar come from different families and have different allegiances. make it make sense. explain it to me like i’m five. what do jamie and ned have to gain by thinking positively about rhaegar? what about jorah? and barristan?

seriously. stop with the “prophecy obsessed freak” and the “rhaegar was mad” bs. none of this is supported in the books.

for 1) the prophecy is real! this is a fantasy series! and it’s very likely that jon snow (his likely son) is one of the azor ahai/prince that was promised figures! the other completely certain azor ahai figure is his own sister! so yes this prophecy seems to be centered around rhaegar’s family.

2) rhaegar being “mad” is not supported whatsoever. prophecies and magic are very real in asoiaf. so believing/trying to figure out prophecies is not an act of a madman. if anything, we should praise rhaegar for having the foresight to be actively concerned about this world ending threat! he was right. and one mention, if not the first mention, of the song of ice and fire comes from a vision in the house of the undying… from rhaegar. please remember what the title of this series is…

now, it is fair to criticize rhaegar for how he treated elia at the tourney at harrenhall. he was wrong there and that was a terrible thing to do to elia. however, saying that rhaegar was awful to elia throughout their whole marriage is not supported. and saying that rhaegar was awful to his children is not supported at all.

also, getting angry at a fictional character for needing a son to secure the succession to the throne is hilarious, especially since it was necessary for not just rhaegar, but also for elia to secure their own positions at court. they both needed a male heir, but elia needed to have a son more than rhaegar to secure her position. so why are people so mad that rhaegar and elia had aegon? andal tradition says that a son comes before a daughter and a daughter before an uncle… but aerys had viserys to threaten rhaegar with because aerys was king and had the power to change the succession. having aegon was very important for both rhaegar and elias futures and protected rhaenys position as well. just look at what happened to alys karstark when all of her male brothers were gone. she was almost usurped by her uncle. do you really think aerys would let the throne pass to a girl? aerys??

anyways, we don’t know enough about rhaegar and elias relationship to actually make any concrete statements about them, but, from danys house of the undying vision of rhaegar and (likely) elia, their relationship seemed fine and they seemed open with each other. not every marriage of duty ends in nedcat and five kids, but their marriage was clearly far from the robert and cersei nightmare.

another thing rhaegar antis love to harp about is how he is a pedophile. i’m literally so sick of it. rhaegar, someone who seemingly struggled with some form of depression, finally found some joy outside of a marriage of duty. the author himself called rhaegar a love struck prince. ned never thinks ill of rhaegar, even though if the stories robert baratheon would have us believe were true then ned would be the first character who thinks rhaegar is some sort of monster. but ned doesn’t. back to the pedo argument… anyways i have issues with the age gap as well. but i know where to lay my criticism. with george. he’s weird about ages and it pisses me off. however, i won’t let this change the way i see a character, especially since westeros doesn’t have any age of consent laws.

god just criticize george already.

but to be clear, rhaegar, a tragic character who died trying to protect his family, who’s daughter hid underneath his bed for protection, is not some monster. he was born in grief, lived in grief, found some joy, and died whispering the name of the woman he loved. that’s sad. and it’s horrible that he’s blamed for his family’s deaths even though he fought and died trying to protect them. and then robert baratheon sat on his throne and drunk and whored the realm into debt. thank you mr. boar. and good riddance. cersei slayed with this one.

now if you want to blame someone for the war and what came after, then blame aerys for his cruelty. blame brandon for his foolishness. blame robert for his warmongering. blame tywin for his monstrous actions. blame gregor and amory for their terrible violence.

stop blaming the guy who died trying to protect his loved ones.

and tbh, we literally have so little knowledge of what happened before the rebellion and after harrenhall. we just don’t know what happened between rhaegar and lyanna besides what george has told us and whatever small scraps we get in the book. we don’t know if it was a rash decision or if there was some plan in place when rhaegar and lyanna ran off. we just don’t know.

so please stop treating your headcanons like canon facts. especially when your headcanon isn’t supported anywhere in the books! it’s so tiring to see! i get it! you hate this character! whatever! but stop acting like what you’re saying is canon!

rhaegar is simply a ghost haunting the narrative. but his legacy lives on in dany and (likely) jon. and both of them are saviors fighting the good fight. and based on the descriptions we have of rhaegar, i can say that he’s likely very proud of his sister and son.

[fiendishartist2]

height chart/character sheet for all of the main tma cast feat. my headcanons (and misconceptions about canon desc. O_O) of them

and an extra georgie <3

[atopvisenyashill]

idk it’s like. rhaenyra’s fear and paranoia over what alicent will do to her kids gets her killed. alicent’s fear and hostility over what rhaenyra might do to her kids gets all her kids killed. daeron’s hostility towards daemon (there’s a difference in how he treats brynden & shiera and how he treats daemon & aegor and it’s pointed even if it makes sense) over whether daemon will be a threat to his kids kicks off more than one war! davos is willing to die to protect edric from stannis. jon gets sent to the wall bc of catelyn’s resentment and paranoia and ned’s refusal to deal with the situation and not only does jon’s entire arc in agot deal with the fact that even if the wall is less cruel it still sucks and is a wild miscarriage of justice against all the boys who get pressed into it and crucially, jon is now dead over this shit! maybe the problem is that all of these people keep reacting with fear and hostility and paranoia when confronted with a child who, through no fault of their own, has the potential to be dangerous later in life. maybe the problem is the entire concept of legitimacy and the way it destroys every family it comes into contact with, and keeping that system going is a moral failure on the part of our heroes, from the patriarchs who set their families up for failure to the ladies who understandably react with hostility and isolation towards their husband’s bastards to the noble born children who are learn from their parents’ example and make sure to drive home the fact that their siblings are lesser, base creatures because of something they have no control over. perhaps the point is that everyone in this system has blood on their hands and the series is saying “so now you know you’re complicit. now what are you going to do about it?”

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

the hard part now of getting eatwd into the place where it needs to be is simply just. .. transposing the characters in tma into night vale. like they're literally so shaped by their specific relationships with the fears that to create a reality in which they don't live in that context creates essentially entirely different characters. pretty wacky

[jouxlskaard]

elias in hades, perchance?

if tma were a hades-style roguelike I think it'd be entertaining to have elias just show up like a little bitch and give you tasks that eventually give you rewards. I don't think he'd show up as the final boss until much later on in the story (equivalent to the hades epilogue) where he'll become the eye's pupil and the player (presumably jon) has to kill him to stop the eyepocalypse or smth (don't question my thought process too much I haven't actually rationalised it all in my head yet lol)

[oceanoecielo]

@arcxivist | cont from here

Honestly, Simon does not think that he was being all that slick, and he will not say that he was sincerely trying to be.  His steps are light as air, really, so he is simply naturally a quiet walker.  He expected to get caught eventually, and in the meantime, he has been enjoying his leisurely walk behind the Archivist.

He does not startle at all when Jonathan turns around, even seeing the flash of power in his eyes.  Instead, Simon cocks his head to one side and flashes a brilliant smile.  “Oh, hello!” he says, chuckling a little.  “Both of our reputations precede us, I see.  Good—I greatly dislike dealing with the trivialities of introductions if I do not have to.”  He will, of course, because he isn’t rude, but all of that ‘hi, how are you, what’s your name, where are you from’ stuff does get rather ho-hum sometimes.

“I’d apologize for the pit, but I’m fond of it myself.  Nothing quite like when the floors of the room and of your stomach drop out at once!”  He is playing up the evil thing just ever so slightly because he knows that it is what Jon expects out of him, and he is not here to clear up his reputation at the moment.  “I was in the area on business, and I thought I might make a proper introduction.  I figured it might behoove me to make sure that Jonah isn’t spending my money on shoddy hires—you know how it is!”

[wolfythewitch]

hi I feel like I've been attempting to interact with your stuff way too much and I'm probably annoying you but I wanted you to see some of my own sketches of your Hadestown au bc it had a chokehold on me yesterday and it wouldn't leave me alone. I decided Elias would be Hermes for several reasons

(You don't have to read this bit if you don't want to lol)

Tim doesn't have anything close to a guide/mentor figure in tma and Elias is probably the only person who a) has a connection to him and b) actively utilises Tim's decisions for his own ends. He's a bitch yes, and his Hermes would be a much more insidious, manipulative one, but there's really nobody else who fits the bill as much as Elias does. He enjoys the tragedy, actively basks in it in fact, and I think while Hermes continues to tell the story hoping that it might end well one day, Elias would tell it knowing that it never will and enjoying the inevitability of it all. He would appear genuine to the other characters, but the audience would know that he's a rat bastard - and this would show through to Tim during "Hey, the big artiste...".

Also I gave Jon a bundle of heliotropes instead of a red carnation bc they signify devoted, undying love and they have a tragic origin derived from an old Greek myth.

enjoy (or don't, whatever floats your boat). your art is very cool and got me to enjoy my own art process for the first time in a very long time so thank you a lot for that :)

Oh this is so cool!! Your style is so pretty and aaa jonmartin dancing <33 I've thought more about Elias as Hermes but I've come to the decision that I don't want the tone to shift that much haha, and Elias being hermes would definitely switch the tone of hadestown needing you to think every time that maybe, maybe this time it will end with a happy ending

[spiral-man]

Hey all you sick freaks out there,

The way they talk about the movie theatre worker this episode reminds me of Mr. Jonathan sims lol.

“It’s what on the inside that matters” just seems like such an ominously Jon thing to say and “That poor guy, They have him ushering too! They really need to hire more staff...” sounds like a review Tim/Martin/Sasha would leave at the Magnus institute to try and get Elias to hire more help.

“He looks super old and they’re really putting him to work” just makes me giggle because it’s that whole joke of Jon is 29 and everyone thinks he’s 45 or 98 When they first meet him.

Stay bloody!

[swordsandarms]

i know you just tend to lurk (me too) but your fandomised rhaegar thoughts are very validating lol. ive always thought blue roses are symbolic of a child born from love, not symbolic of a woman. like lyanna has the roses cause she's jon's mother and rhaegar's love, not because they're her "thing"? never thought that was far fetched til coming online lmao.

OK, this was in my drafts for like a decade.

The roses aren't really the child or the woman, but a representation of the (tragic, but bittersweet) love itself. Though, of course, Jon as the "fruit"/"proof" of it is still at the centre of it all.

Used to hate the concept of "tragedy" and not understand how that can be compelling/satisfying. Turns out a lot of tragedy is badly done, hence the feeling of meaningless/pointlessness of it all some of them give you. Look at HOTD. The problem with the writing is that everything is made meaningless, not that your "favourite" isn't winning everything. It is the fact that it's all bitter and no sweet at the end of the day. (Not the book version, which is also a matter of how much better ASOIAF handles the "continuation" of the tragedy better than GOT).

I see Rhaelya as a representation of the concept: "The love was there. It didn't save anyone, it didn't change anything, but the love was there."

Once you get to look at it like that, it becomes very annoying when people in the fandom sound like a broken record of "what's nice about this?? EveRYoNE dIeS". Yeah, that's how tragedies work, but look at it as such and you'll see the nice, too.

It's not about how "oh, why would you think the author is trying to paint Romeo and Juliet as a romance when he liked Rosaline before, and now suddenly her overnight?"/"oh, it's all about how they are dumb teenagers messing up"/"oh, isn't Orpheus the dumbest for turning round".

Romeo and Juliet are young people finding a shiny thing in a shitty society that creates generational cycles of pain and hate for stupid reasons. The ending is satisfying not because the love is successful but because the characters - and readers are meant to - finally get that. Orpheus turns round because he loves Eurydice and if you did you would, too.

Westeros is a hellscape of ambition, heartlessness, and corruption. Everyone is stabbing everyone's back for a bit more of land, a bit more of wealth, a bit more political influence. Selling and pawning their loved ones for a corn chip. (Controversial opinion, neither Elia or Lyanna should have been in that position, but that's the reason why, "loving families" and all. Even more Controversial, Rhaegar shouldn't have been in that position also. And that's the "good" people - as Controversial as people might think that statement is for Rhaegar. But also OH, you mean selling off Cersei didn't work out well cause she was meant to be a pretty object and didn't have to be taught about armies and resources, just vanity? Or Lysa for some reason wasn't all that grateful to papa to give armies to the great alliance when they needed them, for reasons of keeping the one "trueborn child" she had sheltered, cause that's the one thing you promised her she could get if she did your bidding?) Looking away from what is fair when it is "lawful" according to the status quo (and fandom finds it easy to pinpoint it when it's someone deemed hateworthy, but will be 1000% lenient towards a Ned Stark, and will even hold characters they hate accountable when putting FAIRNESS ABOVE LAW).

And the thing about ASOIAF fandom is THEY LOVE THIS SHIT. They love to romanticise it all. But there's the paradox of it all. Romanticising comes with this idea of unrealistic wistfulness, I guess. If a character lives in "the cruel real world", the romanticised ideal is nice to think about. If they actually reach for ideals, they are fools who should get real about living in the "cruel real world".

Oop, I ventured far from the point. But I just love the whole CONCEPT of the blue rose at its roots. 💙 It literally means just that at its roots. Something wistful but unattainable.

[miyuskye]

HERE I GO with this super interesting event from the All Ships Ship Week event hosted by @ficwip

The ship dossier! And what ship I could've dossiered if not my current hyperfixation, aka Jon/Elias??? Sooo, the thing with loving a podcast is that you don't get a lot of official art, since the physical descriptions are also very scarce by author's choice. BUT! they recently made a TTRPG game based on the podcast, which these semi-canon designs. My personal image of the characters in influenced by the huge amount of fanarts circulating around, but, probably an unpopular opinion, I like these designs too. With reference to the image, the top one (not in the ship sense) is Jon, aka the Archivist, aka the pet project/obsession and the bottom one (again, not in the ship sense) is Elias/spoiler, aka the mentor/obsessed.

It would have been great, if I did actually understand the assignment and not gone off the trail with a full AO3 statistical analysis. Under the cut because probably not a lot of people are interested in my ramblings. The dossier is intended for both people familiar with the series, but also for people who know nothing about it. Warning for sparse spoilers about the whole TMA series (not TMP since I still have to listen to it!) (as I said, Elias is a big spoiler himself lol)

Let's begin this trip with a biiig disclaimer. Sadly for us avid AO3 users, the AO3 fandom does not represent the fandom in whole, so these stats are based only on the number of works in the AO3 context. Looking around at non-fanfic related site, i.e. reddit, I know there are some JE shipper there too, though I can't really be sure in what percentage with respect to the non-shipping community (or the people only shipping the canon couple). Links to the guru of fandom stats! toastystats (tumblr), AO3. There's also a github repository but I personally found it a bit cranky to use and it doesn't use an AO3 updated DB, though for big data statistics is fine due to the central limit theorem but for smaller fandom/tags it might be a bit inaccurate. Also the code is in python 2, which is now a bit difficult to use. I personally made my stats by doing targeted searches using the AO3 search function! Super easy to use, albeit a bit repetitive. Stats were made on Oct, 19-22, 2024. Again, I think the results won't change much through the years, especially regarding the main TMA tag data, but who knows if JonElias will surge in popularity (hehe it's a distant hope, I'm pretty much sure that the population distribution is already well-established).

TMA (The Magnus Archive) is a horror podcast, following the events of Jonathan Sims, aka Jon, aka the first part of my ship, who works at the Magnus Institute. This Institute is a facility researching in supernatural events and records supernatural encounters in the form of statements given by volunteering people. Jon is the Head Archivist, meaning he manages the statements and records some "odd ones", as per request of the Head of the Institute and his direct superior, Elias. Sooo yes, he's also his boss. :) lovely for them.

My lovely idiots are the 3rd most popular ship! Such a big achievement for me, who I usually ship obscure ships. As of today, we have 1434 JE works out of the whole 29751 works in the TMA tag. Way to go, JE community, let's keep this up!

The Jon/Martin ship is actually canon in the podcast, so that big percentage, compared to other fandoms, is largely explained by that (instead of simple popularity like Oikawa/Iwaizumi in the Haikyuu fandom). My other favorite ship is Jon/Tim, and I proudly contributed to that 2.78% (ofc also to the 4.8% of JE but it seemed quite superfluous to write).

Fun fact: speaking of spoilers, Elias' character tag in AO3 is a MASSIVE spoiler. It was what ruined the plot twist for me, because I looked for fanfics around ep 40ish (out of 200) and got that spoiled :( I understand why AO3 did that, because before the reveal the tags referring to Jonah and Elias were separated and I guess they wanted to unite them (since I also read some Jonah/Jon works before the reveal - all of them ended up having Elias being somewhat connected to Jonah OF COURSE, but I believe that before The Reveal there was also the belief that Elias was one of his descendants. I became part of the fandom after that, though, so it's just speculation based on older posts I came across).

This is probably my most favourite slide. JonElias has the highest Mature-to-Gen ratio (based on the AO3 rating system) with respect to the other ships. Jon/Martin, being 40% of the works also leads most of the general fandom stats, so it's more correct to actually cite the ship that makes the stat. I also believe that a lot of the more Gen-oriented fics feature Jon/Martin due to them being canon, that is also one of the possible factors influencing their and the whole tag ratios. Due to this, I believe that the Elias/Peter ratio might actually influenced by that, since they're a non-conflicting couple with the main one and are thus frequently included in their fanfics. The other fave of mine also has a higher Mature-to-Gen ratio than the general one, but not as high as JE.

Jon is the main character, so it's obvious that he is the most cited in all the works. Elias is the villain, so it's not so strange. Also, this refers to the characters tags, and this means that Elias might be included as a character even in other ships-based works. I believe the same happens with Tim, since ships with him have a lower presence in the fandom, but he is the third most included character. It's probably because he gets included into most of the Gen/JMart works.

These are the most used AO3 tags for the JonElias main ship tag. Do I really need to explain? They just do the talking in my place lol

A few words on the Alternate universe tag: AUs are somewhat canon in the show, due to plot-related reasons, and I believe this gives us space to imagine, stories where Jon is as deranged as Elias without denaturing canon. I personally believe Jon has the capacity of being feral as, if not even more than, Elias. Canon showed us a glimpse of what we could have but ended up not getting, again, due to plot-related reasons. Some fanfics are based on those glimpses. Also the Do not Archive will be an interesting topic to talk about later!

These are the most used tags for the individual characters. Some of them are also matching but not in their JE tagged works. For example, the tag Fluff might be present in 12% of Elias' works but more than half of those works are Jon/Martin-based works, so he's included in the work but, in a way, not actively participating in the fluff. Also, Jon is canonically asexual, hence the related tag! A few words on that, this doesn't and rightly won't stop people from producing M and E-rated works with him and characters (not necessarily Elias), contrary to what some people might think. And I assure you, as an asexual person, that no one of the JE fanfics I read (even the ones without the Asexual character tag) erased Jon's asexuality. If anything, the ones where Jon's asexuality was present and acknowledged were also my favorites!

Small digression on the Do not archive tag. I noticed that both JE and Elias' tag had a percentage of works being under that tag. Which is used when an author does not want the series staff to read their works. It's mostly used on M+E works (77% of DNA tagged works are M or E rated on AO3), as one would expect. At first I guessed it was related to the pronounced M-to-T ratio of the JE tag (which is even more pronounced on the DNA tag), buuut it turns out the main cause was just a quirk of the data/bias of the data case. As I said, there are only 1434 (as of end-October 2024) works in the JE tag and this means that this number can be biased by a single external source, which causes the shift in the data. This means that this is not a trend!

By excluding the cause from the analysis, the Do not archive tag percentages for JE are still higher than the other ships, but not by such a large margin (around 7% which makes sense).

Nothing to say here, the series reaching its peak in terms of fandom response and also due to COVID making people consume more media content, the JE rise followed the general raise of fanfics in the TMA tag. Which isn't surprising but not to be taken for granted either! Another sad but probably not a trend fact is that Jon/Elias production was slightly more flourishing during the earlier years of the series (especially 2018-2019), than it is now. This might probably related to a ship actually being made canon or probably fandom disappointment in the TMA finale (which I can understand). I read in a lot of earlier JE fanfics very excited comments about "omg I can't wait to see him and Jon in s4/5" and I was like *sad violin noises*, because they didn't get the amount of (canon-expected) interactions the JE fandom thought they would get. Again, this is just speculation and to be taken with a grain of salt.

Unexpectedly, M+E JE works have more words that Gen-rated ones (expected on the JE tag due to their M-to-T ratio, but kinda unexpected compared to the whole TMA tag).

JE fanfics are slightly more kudo-ed and bookmarked than the general fandom trend.

A conclusive remark, is that I made this just to see what behaviours could be extrapolated from such a tiny tag in an otherwise medium fandom (as for 2020, median number of fanworks in labelled big fandom was 45k. Havign roughly half of that number means that TMA is, on AO3, a medium fandom to me).

Anyhow, I wish you happy JonElias day which for me is once again every day since twp months ago :)

[nezumithewriter]

season three of the magnus archives was fucking awesome

ep 81: "guess who got framed for murder" "anyways my childhood was fucked up"

ep 82: "it was a little bloody and i didn't like daisy" - my mother

ep 83: "JON? There's a weird letter in the mailbox for you. Says.. uh... 'statement of'" jon crashing through the wall with tape recorder sfx

ep 84: I GOT A JOB AT THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE?!? (I'M INEXTRICABLY TIED TO A BEING BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION)

ep 85: The man was there but also wasn't, fuck you want from me?

ep 86: Holy fuck i love melanie king i can't think of a funny 3am joke for this one except i can WORKING MY JOB AT THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES (READ A PAPER ABOUT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA) (MY COWORKERS NEED THERAPY) but seriously i love melanie king so much i need her to get out of there and to safety

ep 87: the Stranger watching this plumber with adhd swag walk in, fix their pipes, and leave despite all of the dead people's faces being cut off around him

ep 88: DIG.

ep 89: girlboss explains her fire fetish to concerned eldritch entity in training, oh and also AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ep 90: dude calm the fuck down they're just doing some reps on the high bar so what if they have no eyes it's fine dude why are you running

ep 91: Daisy Tonner kills mr. blue sky

ep 92: Elias really said "acab, also i killed gertrude and leitner lol. we're at war with a dozen or so eldritch abominations"

ep 93: Jonathan Sims explains the magnus archives lore to his friends after reading a statement about the corruption from terraria

ep 94: "the monster stole all of my 'give a damn' many years ago"

ep 95: Basira reading her alchemy book two feet away while Martin has a crisis over the fact he can feel the emotions of the statement giver when recording

ep 96: Jon and Daisy do a silly and commit a crime or two (broke and entered, murdered a mandela catalogue alternate, etc)

ep 97: "Are you going to kill me?" "What?? No!!!" "..." "well not rn!!!"

ep 98: "Are you worried about getting fired?" Melanie on her way to commit attempted murder

ep 99: Jonathan Sims gets kidnapped by the clown police (ASMR)

ep 100: can't believe we got The Spiral, The Desolation, The Web, the Dark/Buried, the Lonely in the same episode. the statements were so well done and the were clear and precise

ep 101: "why is the door locked" michael, 2 seconds before helen has a gamer's rise up moment

ep 102: knives, beetle wives, french, oh my!

ep 103: jon really said "fuck it we ball" and decided to use his eldritch powers to be petty

ep 104: "Tim! I might be an eldritch monster but that was unacceptable!"

ep 105: "你说中文?" "no i don't speak chinese"

ep 106: FUCK YOU ELIAS (GONE WRONG) (I WANT THIS BITCH DEAD)

ep 107: JON EATS THE STATEMENTS AND ALSO TREVOR AND JULIA ARE THERE THIS IS THE FIRST EPISODE WHERE I FELT INCREDIBLY EXCITED IS THIS WHAT MCU FANS FELT LIKE ENDGAME

ep 108: "Was he… woOoOo?" -- Basira Hussain, 2017

ep 109: FNAF but with three screaming corpses and a guy

ep 110: trans cinematographer deconstructs the film industry (and mr spider is there too)

ep 111: Jon interviews an emo book (real)

ep 112: #1 Victory Royale

ep 113: "STOP-- touching the plastic explosive"

ep 114: daisy and tim getting happy over the prospect of exploding a circus

ep 115: delicious, finally some good fucking food

ep 116: fuck your dance in particular *CANNON SFX*

ep 117: "hope we don't die!" vs tim and daisy's "fuck it we ball"

ep 118: Martin gets to commit arson-- FUCK YOU ELIAS FUCK YOU ELIAS FUCK YOU ELIAS FU

ep 119: genuinely one of the coolest episodes i've ever listened to due in part to the fact that i was just as confused as the characters (i listened without a transcript). The ways the stranger fucks with the archives team while they're slowly going insane from how much they've forgotten and no longer understand is phenomenal. I'm gonna miss Tim.

ep 120: world's weirdest clipshow that ends with police brutality

[rise-my-angel]

Once saw some Dany stans on twitter theorizing about Jon and Dany's future children they are so sure they will have lol and they were concerned about the kid's coming out with brown hair instead of looking like perfect little Valyrians with silver hair. When you totally don't stan the targs because of white blood purity racial aesthetics. Mind you, these are the same stans that get offended when you tell them they literally sound like white supremacists who want to use eugenics to keep the 'bloodline pure' and produce perfect blonde, pale, violet eyed Aryan babies.

These people probably think it's only a coincidence too that the grandchild Aerys refused to even hold in public court, was the one who was born with darker skin and hair just like Elia.

He probably would have been much happier holding little silver haired purple eyed Aegon.

Honestly Jon came out looking so much like Lyanna and so heavily like a Northerner, that the Targaryeans probably would've all been like "OH GODS WHAT IS THAT THING?"

Targ stans so desperately want their purple eyed silver haired incest babies to all be incestual with each other so that they can go one to have more purple eyed silver haired incest babies. And they somehow think that is perfectly normal behavior to engage in.

Also lmao cus even if Danys womb wasn't 360 noscoped by blood magic, she is so terribly inbred that she probably couldn't even have children anyways. The more inbred Targaryean women are the more they seem to have either very traumatic childbirths or they die on the birthing bed completely. Targaryean women born from such direct incest like Dany have very little chance of having a viable, live birth.

She is too influenced by extremely damaged genetics to have children anyways even if there wasn't the whole magic debate behind it.

Also me even discussing them having children makes me feel gross.

She's his aunt, you weirdos.

[sparky-is-spiders]

Hey. Hi. Remember this? Well I have more. After almost a month of radio silence. Anyway this entry isn't edited or polished at all, and was written when my brain was slowly melting into a puddle of goo, but if I don't have something written down and posted I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. It's been a rough few weeks, but getting to create and share with you guys has been a highlight of the past few months. For probably obvious reasons, I'm not bothering with NaNoWriMo this year, but I wanted to do something this November. I'm gonna try picking up some of the @/ailesswhumptober prompts, but I wasn't super inspired by the first one and I really wanted to finish this chapter of Werewolf Jon. So. Here we are. I hope you enjoy.

Warnings for: blood (mild I think?), injury, and Jon just continuing to have an absolutely terrible time. Fic under the cut.

Their brief, manic burst of energy carried them barely more than two meters from their door. It was their leg that gave out first, sending them sagging against the wall. They gasped from the wrenching pain, the way their flesh crawled and squirmed beneath the skin. It took everything in their power not to simply pass out. The hall swirled and shifted in front of their eyes, wavering in a way that made them feel sick. It would be so easy to turn back, Edinburgh might as well have been on Mars for all that they would be able to make the journey.

You don’t have a choice, they thought to themselves viciously. Tim will be back soon. Or the police will stop by. Or the neighbors once they see what happened to the wall. Keep. Moving. One slow, agonizing step at a time, their hand on the wall. (And they could appreciate it now, how huge the gashes were, how truly enormous the claws must have been, and the dark stains on the floor… were those footprints? They couldn’t have been human.)

Where their own energy failed, fear filled the gaps. There was no hiding this, no explaining this away. If they could be saved, there were few enough people at the institute who would be willing to step in to try, and likely none who would be capable of it. They would be lucky to survive even that long, really. No, they would not be quietly discarded. Not if they could make it to the elevator. Not if they could make it to the train. Not if they could make it to Jonah.

(Jonah… thinking about him always hurt far too much. He was a wound in them they just couldn’t stop picking at, that had never even closed long enough to scar. His name was threaded through their mind, their thoughts, their fear, always a part of them.)

The elevator was it’s own form of torture. They couldn’t keep moving, had to just stand there and wait because if they let themselves sink down to the floor they would never have the strength to get up again. Soon, soon the doors had opened, and they stumbled into the lobby. They let the wall support them again, barely registered the alarmed-looking neighbor staring at them, and finally staggered out the front doors.

As soon as they felt the sun on their skin, they bent over and retched. It was awful, crawling, swarming just below the surface and pushing up thin, needle-like claws. The blunt, smooth edges of in curled behind their eyes until Jon was certain they were going to lose them.

The presence of light had been a needling, nagging thing. A constant buzzing irritant swamped by their painful wounds. Now… now it filled them with a deep, wrenching sense of wrongness. It was anathema to them, to the monster festering in the bowels of their mind.

The pavement swam and twisted in front of them, their vision hazy. With a shuddering gasp, they closed their eyes. It barely helped.

Dizzy and blind, their ears ringing, it took them a few moments to realize that someone was shouting at them.

“-athan? Jonathan Sims? That you?”

Blinking open their eyes caused another wave of nausea to come crashing down on them. Still, there was room for irritation—what do they want—and fear—what do they want from me— to coil somewhere inside them. “I-that’s… who are you?”

“I’m your ride. Here to pick up one ‘Jonathan Sims’ on the request of a friend.”

What friend? Surely nobody at the institute would send an unconnected stranger to deal with them, but there was hardly anyone else they could imagine doing this. “I- what?”

The driver seemed unfazed. “Are you Sims?” she asked, her voice flat and almost bored-sounding.

“How did you know my name?”

She eyed him at that, annoyance seeping into the boredom. “Your friend gave a pretty good description. Guess he wasn’t kidding,” her gaze flicked over them, “you look like death, mate.”

Jon glared at her icily. They were beginning to strongly suspect that they knew exactly who had ordered that cab. There were only so many people who would be looking for them right now. There was only one person who would do this.

Why not just say he would call me a bloody cab? Sometimes Jon thought he might be the most irritating man they had ever met. Familiar irritation tipped over into longing, a soul-deep ache that had lingered for as long as they had known Jonah. Worse now, for how close Jon was to finally seeing him again. Gripping the railing, they hauled themselves upwards, although it took all their strength. Another wave of nauseous agony swept over them as they uncurled and stood. Beneath tattered bandages, infected flesh churned and crawled.

The few feet between the stoop of their building and the cab felt like they stretched on forever. Their injured leg threatened to give with every step. They stumbled against the door of the car, reached shaking fingers towards the handle, collapsed heavily into the back seat.

The driver barely waited for the door to click shut. The sudden motion of the cab sent Jon’s mind swirling and dizzy, and they closed their eyes tightly. They longed to sink through the seat, to let the exhaustion take over, but sleep proved elusive. Every bump in the pavement reverberated through the deep, shadowy veins snaking away from their wounds. Every stop and start sent their stomach churning. It took everything they had not to vomit.

***

Time blurred to the haze of tiredness and pain. It could have been seconds, or minutes, or hours, or years, lucidity slipping away, then returning just as gently. Jon wasn’t sure how much the cabbie had bothered to speak with them, suspected that they had said nothing at all for much of the ride, but at one point when they were more aware than not, she said, “You alright back there?”

They were stopped, although Jon suspected they were still a long ways off from Edinburgh. It had taken them a moment to parse the words they had heard, then another two to respond. “What? I… yes. I’m- I’m fine.”

“Riiight.” She dragged the word out, positively dripping skepticism. “Your friend better pay for that.” It was then that Jon registered the damp patch on their side. Gingerly, they felt the seat behind them with their hand. It was… wet, with something too cold and too viscous to be blood. Dull anxiety scraped the edges of their brain, but they just didn’t have the energy to care. “I’ll let him know,” they said. She chuckled, so Jon thought it had probably been the right response.

Awareness slipped away again, until they were again nothing but their wounds and the rot that lived inside them and the deep, aching need to have Jonah by their side again.

Almost there.

Almost there.

Almost there.

Almost

there.

Whumptober collection post:

[jam-as-in-mashed-strawberries]

man this was just supposed to be a jon hair timeline 😔

extra notes and headcanons under the cut cuz um. its a lot and i'm a grade A yapper

Jon: i always kinda oscillated between whether or not he'd look so professional before kinda just decided that he really wouldn't. he's a pretty practical guy in terms of like clothes, i feel. so, when he got promoted, i just kinda imagined him throwing on a suit jacket n calling it a day (the t-shirt for the season one bit says PUSSY MOBILE in case anyone wanted to know lol). also i thought it was a little weird how i never really saw anyone draw jon with burn scars beyond the handshake, since he was put into a coma by a nearby explosion. i'm not sure how well i translated those scars into my drawings but hopefully it's clear? anyways, to me he's a slightly below average height skinny guy with a kinda big head (literally and figuratively)

tim: he's just a short guy with a mullet (that overtime he lets grow out) and a big gut. no extra notes about him just know that i love him from the bottom of my heart and i hope he's kayaking peacefully in heaven

sasha: she's kinda nerdy looking i feel, very relaxed n casual about the way she presents herself, kinda like tim in season 1. i feel she's the tallest of the four (just an inch or two on martin) with an average build. the Not!Them comes across as more indifferent than casual, and is just a bit slimmer than OG sasha and is about tim's height; i always thought of her as the oldest of the bunch. i miss you ms. james even though you had like 4 episodes you actually spoke in

elias: most boring man on earth. i know everyone likes to give him cool little eye accessories but i could never see it. he's just really normal-looking. could pass by him on the subway and not give him a second glance. the only thing that stands out is that he's slightly short (but still taller than tim)

martin: i imagine him as fat man who is almost as tall as sasha, and he wears bright clothes and keeps his appearance nice and tidy up until jon's coma and his mother's death. he dresses nicer for his new position, but he doesn't really keep his personal hygiene. in season 5, despite the apocalypse, he tries to go back to how he used to be, but he still ends up with physical marks of the lonely, like his white streaks and dulled eyes.

basira: i spent way too much time looking at police uniforms for her and daisy and the tie still didnt come out right lol. anyways, she's an average height, slightly stocky woman in my head. after she resigns from the police force, like martin and time, i kinda imagin her being a bit more quick and less careful about her daily routine, which is why her hijab is in a wrap-around fashion. the beginning of season 5 kinda follows this, but after daisy dies, she tries to kind of go back to how she usually wore it.

daisy: she's a tall woman with a muscular build that she loses after her time in the buried. she becomes a lot shakier and uses a cane as she tries to regain her usual movement. she ends up cutting her hair since there was just way too much filth and mud to get rid of. when she gives into the hunt, the only part of her that looks human is her armss, while the rest of her becomes this weird wolf thing. i still haven't got a solid image of her body at this point, but she moves on all fours, not necessarily animal like, but it falls into that uncanny valley where it looks she is but is she really? (<- what is he even talking about ?!)

melanie: side thing but i wasn't really a fan of melanie at first, but i've grown to really like her. it's kinda like how jon feels about her, seeing the self through the other, yk? anyways, she's got a similar build and height to jon (if just like 2 cm taller). she also wears her own merch a lot, even when GHUK ends, which is handy during the apocalypse cuz she's got a change of clothes ready to go !!

georgie: she's of average height and is somewhat fat. she's a lot like melanie in that she likes her change her hair style a lot, but both of them kinda fall out of it during the apocalypse. she also wears a lot of patterned clothing. (which i'm also now just realizing i forgot to add her earrings but i've uploaded the same canas 3 times now so just pretend she has them on lol)

agnes: probably the hardest for me to get a solid image on, and the only thing I could really get was her warm pallette cuz uhm. you know.

gertrude: honestly this keeps like a big of a copy of all the gertrudes i've seen floating around lol. no real notes on her. the same kinda goes for nikola and micheal.m

jane: she's a corpse with worms eating away at it's host. most of her appearance is based on the fact that she's probably rotting, adn the drawing i made was after the time martin saw her and when she attacks the institute. there is not evidence for the flesh of her jaw being gone i just thought it was metal.

gerry: much like his hair, his makeup is also similarly done a little badly. and ofc the look wouldn't be complete without piercings.

annabelle: or as i like to call her. the smugler. like that she looks smug not that she transfers illegal goods. i like to think she always has this slight and subtle smile on her face, even when she's upset.