#jokes on you bc as far as I’m aware it went super well and I go back for another interview next week

[canisonicscrewyou]

Would you hire me at your local independent cafe??

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[wehatejulietsimms]

A/N: i'm gonna respond to this in sections bc it's quite long so bare with me.

Howdy y’all, 🤠 again. Yes, I didn’t in fact die. I’m sorry though that I kept getting sidetracked and couldn’t submit this until now, my boss decided to keep dumping her work into my lap. So I just wanna preface this by stating that I’m going to try and say what I want to as coherent as possible, but I have pretty severe ADHD so I’m not always as easy to understand as I think I am in my head, and I often go off on tangents, over explain things and circle back to topics randomly without realizing. Im basically going to go over their relationship over the years as I said previously (I’m not gonna go into detail about every single scandal and shitty thing Juliet did over the years, because we’d be here all year. so I figure I won’t cover them here, but rather let people ask specific questions if they want to. Remember, I was present for pretty much everything so feel free to ask.😊), but I’m also going to do kind of a mini deep dive into Andy’s behavior and actions (because although the snakes will hit you with every excuse in the book, and tell you that you’re looking too far into things and that it doesn’t matter, it does. The way a person acts in general and towards people around them is very relevant when talking about someone’s health, happiness, and well-being.) To start off, let’s take it all the way back to the time before Juliet’s reign of terror, when Andy and Scout were still together. In all honesty from what I saw of them together (and I saw pretty much everything they posted, I’m only a year younger than Andy, and I was quite into him when he was on MySpace and such, and I always watched anything with him and Scout together because they were fucking adorable lol) they had a really healthy relationship. Not once did I get weird vibes from them. The way Andy acted toward and with Scout, you could tell they really loved each other and were happy together. They had nothing to prove. It just was normal. (For any of you who are younger, or didn’t come into the picture until Andy was already post-scout and would like to see some videos of them together, you could generally search on YouTube for it, but also there’s a specific channel on there called like bring the milk tea or something that has videos of old Andy blogs and also Andy and scout on stickam and such. Worth a look if you’re curious) They weren’t constantly all over each other like possessive pack dogs *ahem Juliet ahem* and whenever Andy mentioned scout he didn’t need to shower her in compliments. They both seemed very secure in both themselves and the relationship. Super cute. Initially when they broke up it seemed quite odd. I didn’t really expect it. It got even weirder when he states that he and Juliet are together. It didn’t feel like they fit together at all (and no I’m not talking about from a fame or success perspective. At least not yet lol) As I’ve said I got bad vibes from Juliet right from the get go. Andy already seemed to be acting not like himself. (Also snakeys have argued that it’s just that he’s more mature now and that’s why he acts nervous and constantly looks Ike he wants to die. 🙄 maturity doesn’t mean losing your fucking personality and being unhappy most of the time. Jesus Christ.) it seemed like they got possessive of each other and constantly needed to show people how in love they were. Pictures, videos, and fucking public love paragraphs to show they are, in fact, in a super real relationship and they love each other. It also felt like Andy’s family was in on this whole weird charade.They (Chris honestly) started to defend her degenerate behavior and attack anyone who had even a whisper of negative things to say about her or their relationship. It was like watching a group of awkward, pretty mediocre actors put on a play about them being together. (I’ve hit the text limit now, but there will be more that I will write just after I submit this one though, fear not haha. N, you can either post this now or wait until I submit the rest, it’s up to you.) 1 / ? -🤠

A/N: i was here for a lot of it as well so i do remember some of this. although i did join the fandom shortly after him and juliet got together (i joined like around the time she was on the voice) i literally remember hoping that him and scout would get back together bc juliet just rubbed me the wrong way and i didn't know why at the time. & side note i actually do recommend people go look at old videos of andy and scout they were really adorable. there is this one video of them singing (i think a carrie underwood song lol) in the car and it's really cute. but yeah just bc he's older doesn't mean his whole entire personality changes. you can be any age and act however you want. i could even use jenna marbles & julien solomita (a youtube couple) as an example, they've been together for i think like 8 or 9 years and are about the same age as A&J (julien being around andy's age & jenna around juliet's age) & although they can have mature adult conversations and all of that, they still act like idiots and joke around together. neither of them look uncomfortable or are afraid of saying certain things like andy is around juliet. so andy aging doesn't mean shit in regards to his personality doing a 180.

🤠okay, so part two here we go. (Also I apologize if I get the chronological order of anything I talk about incorrect, I’m a bit scattered sometimes and the next ask I make will be the one where I talk about the domestic abuse and I tend to get quite heated, which only makes my brain function worse lol) so the point at which Andy was trying to get fans to go vote for/ support Juliet when she was on the voice seemed really fishy. I’m all for supporting the work of the people you love, but it’s kinda strange how hard Andy was pushing this at the time. Too hard in my opinion. I’m obviously aware that it was helpful in the end and he more or less got what he was asking for. But it was like he absolutely needed people to vote for her. As if he would get in trouble if they didn’t. So around 2012 or 2013 it felt like things really went down the shitter from there and just got progressively worse. (I never knew why for the longest time, but after they revealed that Vegas wedding that happened in about that time frame, it made a lot of sense.) Andy’s behavior began to change towards his fans. There are a lot of accounts of this happening from fans themselves and a lot of people said that 1. It was worse with Juliet around, and 2. a lot of the time it would happen towards females especially. ( I think more towards the “pretty” fans but don’t count me on that, I don’t know for sure.) This was completely night and day. Especially coming from the same man who used to always defend his fans and once stated something along the lines of he would never have a crazy or awkward fan story because he loves and is grateful for all of his fans and he won’t get upset if they’re just really excited. I would understand if these fans crossed the line in some way (like the later incident of fans finding his address and harassing them, which is unacceptable no matter who the people are) but from most if not all of the fan stories I’ve heard, they didn’t. They were being respectful and didn’t do anything to warrant this happening to them besides showing up. Which brings me to my next point, a lot of these negative experiences were caused by Juliet. Either she was the one being mean to people, she was causing Andy to be mean to people on her behalf, or her presence was upsetting Andy to the point that he was angry and started being rude and irritable. What scares me the most are the accounts of Andy having a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, depending on weather or not Juliet was present. Happy when he’s free of her and miserable when he isn’t. In videos of him where Juliet is behind the camera he always seems nervous and strange. Like he’s afraid to mess up. That’s fucking alarming to say the least. You would think that the last thing one would want to do if another person brings them this much anger, stress, and anxiety, the LAST thing they would want to do is fucking marry them. Right? He literally started barely smiling at one point and really doesn’t anymore. I mean for Christ’s sake look at his wedding photos. What’s suppose to be one of the happiest moments of your life and to quote another anon with a different ask, he looks like he’s being dragged to the gallows. (And I get really fucking Angry honestly when snakeys tries to pass it off as “oh he’s awkward he doesn’t know how to smile” or “omg he’s being dramatic for the aesthetics” in some pictures, yes. But why the fuck would you look like that in pictures with the “love of your life” who you now regularly write cringy paragraphs publicly professing your love and complete adoration for? Andy knows how to smile genuinely. Ffs he used to. He smiled genuinely when he was a kid, he smiled genuinely with scout, and he smiled genuinely when Juliet wasn’t around. He doesn’t smile when she is there, and if he does, it is pretty much always visibly fake.) So I may backtrack a little later, but right now I want to talk about the fact that Juliet IS an abuser. More specifically, the plane incident. (Word limit. TBC.) 2 / ? -🤠

A/N: yes. 100%. when it comes to the wedding photos i will never understand people (specifically snakeys) writing off his behavior as him "just being dramatic for the aesthetics". is that something he would do in photoshoots? yeah. is it something he may do on stage? sure. something he would do in an interview? maybe. but candid shots of him on one of the "happiest days of his life"? wtf no. & idk why people think that.

🤠 Just before I start, again, with the pictures, I really don’t think that Andy is enough of a self absorbed egotistical dick that he would actually sit there and put on the whole “miserable tough guy” act in every fucking photo he takes. Ah yes, the infamous plane incident. So straight up, Juliet exposed herself as an abuser, and brought out every bullshit excuse in the book (and made Andy go along with them) to try to cover it up. 1. She was drunk. Honestly this is total bullshit. I say this same thing when people defend cheating or any other degenerate behavior with the excuse of intoxication and I will say it now. Being drunk does not make you a different fucking person. It does not change the thoughts in your head. What it does do is impair your ability to make decisions and judgement skills in general. It’s the same reason why people drive drunk. It’s routine. Its what they would normally do. And because they’re drunk, they can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t do that. Juliet gets drunk, she and Andy fight, she wants to hit him, and because she’s drunk she doesn’t think that she shouldn’t fucking put her hands on him. 2. She hit him in “self defense” and he broke her ribs.(There’s several points I have debunking this) first of all let’s get this out of the way, no one on that plane (including the very real witness who just so happened to be an adult film actress (I think?) who you so love to discount because of it) saw him strike her or even touch her at any time. Two, you are in fucking airplane seats sitting right the fuck next to each other with an armrest in between. It would be pretty fucking hard to break your ribs unless they were made of actual glass, or Andy’s real name is Bruce fucking banner. Bones are surprisingly strong and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’d be damn near impossible for him to do that to you, which brings me to three, if he had broken your ribs you would not be fucking standing up, thrashing around, whining like a little bitch, and oh by the way, continuing to abuse your husband for the second time on that flight. Four, you had a miscarriage. (When I was trying to conceive with my husband it was very difficult. I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. I’m fully aware of how devastating having one is.) which is why if you are not lying (which I fully believe that Juliet would stoop that low just to get sympathy, especially with this big of a scandal. But I don’t actually have proof of this so I will say that it is just speculation on my part) I don’t fucking care. I am not unsympathetic to her if this did actually happen as I said, however, You do not get to make any excuse for putting your hands on another person out of anger. Ever. I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what kind of stress you are under, I don’t care if you are inebriated in any way and I sure as hell don’t care what the fuck you have between your legs. You do not hurt anyone. Point blank period. Five. You are a woman, you can’t hurt him. This one, actually enrages me. We all know your crusty ass pulled this one out (and threw around trump supporters a few times for good measure) because you know damn well how society and the media views and deals with abusive women. Women can abuse. Women who are shorter or weaker than their target can abuse. The fact that there are people who either don’t know that or don’t agree with that is absolutely baffling. Six. The same (I believe) porn actress. Literally saw you beating your own face with the restraints you had to be put in (which by the way flight attendants only ever use restraints as an absolute last resort when someone becomes a danger to the others on board, so she had to be acting absolutely deranged) to give yourself a bloody nose to claim Andy hit you. Then you proceed to act like a child and tell Andy to call your fucking dad. (Which kinda proves that whole Scientology thing honestly) what in the hell. I stg as long as I am breathing I will never let this go. This is actual fucking domestic abuse. (Word limit TBC.) 3 / ? -🤠

A/N: yeah her hitting him "bc she was drunk" was never a good excuse not only for the reasons you mentioned but, also bc let's be real at no point are you ever going to get served enough alcohol on a plane to make you that drunk i don't care what anyone says. also when it comes to the excuse of him "breaking her ribs" does she forget that andy actually did break his ribs a while ago? i think she even visited him when he was recovering so she should know what kind of pain he was in. & if he actually broke her ribs, there's no way she would have even been able to stand bc i know andy sure wasn't able to. he said it was one of the most painful things he's experienced. (i don't think i need to comment on the rest of this. it would just be redundant. you hit the nail on the head with that.)

🤠 I don’t care if it happened just that one time ore more likely is an everyday occurrence. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Kind of getting away from the plane thing. Andy always seems, as it’s been said on here before, afraid to mess up. Like he might mess up, and make her mad. A common behavioral pattern in abuse victims. He also at this point and for a decent amount of time before, doesn’t seem like he loves her anymore. Like he keeps up appearances and pretends, but it’s like it’s a job he’s forced to do. He’s tired and burnt out but was probably manipulated into staying and juliet is probably clinging for dear life. Also I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but I swear, the veganism and sobering up was just a cover up, most likely formed by either Juliet herself or her fucked up family, after the plane incident to hide their tracks and regain some public favor (because you know, if you advocate for animal rights then you can’t abuse your husband 🙃) Andy never gave a shit before though. Even though it was unhealthy he loved to drink and smoke and was very outspoken about that. And he used to never give a fuck about eating meat or consuming animal products like leather. I mean they’re still selling leather goods ffs. I would get having minor fuck ups because you don’t know any better, but it’s fucking leather. And now Andy is unhealthy and miserable as ever, but the culprit is malnourishment and Juliet rather than cigs, alcohol, and Juliet. My final thoughts: I do definitely believe in the Scientology theory, but if not that than I definitely believe that Andy was and is being manipulated for his fame. On several occasions it really looked like they broke up, including the time when they did, and then said it was a joke. It really doesn’t feel normal. Also, Juliet doesn’t really care about Andy that much. She never wears her wedding ring, she sells all their shit, including sentimental items, and now that she’s gained more popularity from being with him, suddenly doesn’t want to put him in her bio or write him the same creepy ass paragraphs or anything. It’s fucked up how shes so keen to say she did it all herself when really she’s been riding dick for fame since before she even met Andy. It also always kinda seemed to me that Amy was kind of uncomfortable around Juliet. We all know that Chris loves to kiss her ass night and day (most likely to do with the Scientology thing “if” it’s true), but Juliet and Amy always seemed to have a weird relationship like it was tense and forced. Also I just want to mention the time that Juliet talked about screaming at the woman over what I believe was a game night and brushed it off as being competitive and no one gave damn. Fucked up. To finish off this already way too long little series, I think Andy is a very vulnerable insecure person who got manipulated by several people (not just Juliet) some of whom he probably really trusted, and they helped to get him in Juliet’s (equally if not more insecure) hands so she could hurt him as she pleases. I truly hope that even now both he, and his parents (even though Chris really grinds my gears) can get out of this whole shit show, relatively unscathed. I know this is probably pretty unlikely, but hope springs eternal I guess. As I said feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them best I can. Thank you for reading. 4 / 4 -🤠

A/N: yet again you hit the nail on the head with this part so i don't need to comment too much. other than the fact that i do agree that juliet and amy's relationship does seem weird.

[i-write-newsies]

!!TW!!

-Sexual Harassment

-Overstimulation

Ships:

-Javid

-Jack and Katherine (Platonic)

Davey POV:

Wh- what?

I almost drop my phone from shock.

I take a second and clutch my phone to my chest, squealing like a schoolgirl. I lie on my back and kick my legs in the air excitedly. JACK KELLY ASKED ME OUT.

Wait.

What should I say? Have I left him on read for too long? Does he think I don't like him?? I take a deep breath and respond as carefully as possible...

I'd love to, Jackie :)

Jack :): OHTHANKGOD

Jack :): sry, i just thought you didnt like foods

Then why'd you ask me out??

Jack :): i just sorta went on atopierloy

Jack :): *artoupliot

Jack :): *AUYPOLIT DAMMIT

Jack :): FUCK

Autopilot?

Jack :): yes. Autoplit

Jack :): dammit

Haha! Anyways, what day/time?

Jack :): duz sat. at around 2pm gud?

Sure! Can't wait.

Jack POV:

Holyshitholyshitholyshit.

I'm goin' on a date wit' Davey!

I start stimming super hard. It takes me a bit to calm down and my cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

I scroll to Kath's contact.

Kath

Kath

Kath

Kath

Kath

Kath >:3: jesus christ, jack wtf do you want, it's like, 2am.

I asked Davey out

Kath >:3: WHAT?? I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE PROLLY DOESNT LIKE DUDES???

I THOUGHT SO TO???

Kath >:3: 1. You're fucking illiterate I swear

Kath >:3: 2. How did it go??

1. Rude (but trew)

2. HE SAID YES

Kath >:3: omg that's awesomeeee!!

Kath >:3: what r u gonna wear?

Idrk

Kath >:3: I'm coming over rn.

What??

Ur joking right?

Kath

KATHERINE??

I hear a knock on my apartment door. I open it to find, you guessed it, Kath.

"Jesus, you get here quick, dontcha?"

"You underestimate my speed walking strength."

"Fair enough" I chortle.

"So," says, dropping a giant, heavy scrapbook on my bed with a thump. "What're you doing for the date?" she flips through pages, very determined.

Kath is a fashion major and is planning to minor in journalism. She's quite talented at both.

"We're gonna get froyo and then watch some kinda cheesy romcom I guess?"

Katherine, I shit you not, flips through 20 pages in 2 seconds and comes to a collage of outfits she was looking for.

"So," she turns the book towards me and starts pointing things out, "what would be best for this type of date is a simple, comfortable outfit, preferably a cooler one, with a jacket just in case." She starts rambling on and on about certain things I don't understand. I'll just let the genius do all the work.

Suddenly, I realize something, "Kath," she looks up, "I don't have ANY of these clothes. What am I gonna do?"

She smiles evilly, "Jack Francis Kelly, are you ready to go on a shopping spree?"

*Timeskip bc jfc I'm so tired*

Kath POV:

"Come on out"

Jack walks out, clearly embarrassed, but looking amazing!

"Wowww." I drawl, "If I wasn't a lesbian, I'd tap that."

"Seriously Kath?" he gives me a look.

I smile mischievously, "Anyway, I definitely think this is THE outfit."

What Jack is wearing:

📷

📷

"Thank GOD!" he sighs, we've been lookin' through thrift stores for HOURS now."

"Thank god for Goodwill, right?" I chuckle a bit.

"Yep!" Jack says.

We pay for our things and walk out of the store, Jack trails behind me a bit, looking at his phone.

"Shit!" he suddenly exclaims, "I forgot my wallet in the dressing room!" he runs back inside.

Suddenly, someone whistles and says, "Damn, you look good! Why dontcha smile for us, sweetheart? I bet you'll look so much better." Terrified, I walk back only to bump into another man.

"Aw, leave her alone, Morris, you clearly don't know how to treat a woman." he grabs my arm, "How's about we get away, princess?"

"Hey, Oscar, she was mine foist!"

I try and yank my arm away but to no avail.

"Please, guys, I'm not interested."

"Why?" Morris's face turns sour, "We'se not good enough for you?"

"No, it's just that I'm not into men."

"Well..." Morris says with an evil glint in his eye, "I bet I can change that."

He lunges towards me and grabs me away from Oscar.

"Woah, Morris, I don't think we should go this far, after all, she says she's not into guys and we should respect tha-"

"Shaddup, Oscar you bonehead!" Morris shouts.

I start getting overstimulated because of my sensory issues and start to shut down. I try to cover my ears, but Morris still has a hold on me, restricting my movement. I squeeze my eyes tightly, trying to distract myself from all the noise.

Oscar seems to notice this, "Morris! Somethin's wrong, I'm serious!"

"Yeah right!" Morris says sarcastically.

I open my eyes a little to see Oscar rushing towards Morris, just about ready to punch him, when-

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM HER!"

Jack.

Thank god.

I feel myself being pulled away from Morris and into a pair of strong arms. I also feel headphones slip over my ears, and things are a lot quieter. For that second, I just breathe in a familiar scent and try to calm down.

I feel Jack let go of me, and I open my eyes just in time to see him punch Morris right in the nose.

Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

He goes to attack Oscar as well, but I grab ahold of his shoulder.

"Jack, wait..." I say soft, but stern, "he didn't do much. He saw what he was doing wrong and tried to help me."

Jack's face is still red with anger, but he nods and grabs my hand, walking back to the car.

By the time we get back to his apartment, I've calmed down enough to not need my headphones anymore.

Jack makes us some Mac n Cheese as I flip through Netflix movies to watch.

"How does Les Mis sound?" I shout to him.

"Great!" he shouts back.

(A/N):

Yes, ik, this chapter isn't exactly Javid, but I thought it might be an interesting chapter, and a way to introduce my Autistic! Katherine hc, as well as SA awareness. Be safe out there!

Love,

Phoenix "Race" Conlon

1043 words

[gunbrker]

i need a place to organize my thoughts on thancred so i will be posting this on here! take it as a meta dump or headcanons of sort that’re definitely going to be implemented into my portrayal. this is gonna be a bit messy so excuse any jumping around!

ARR thancred and HW ( and on ) thancred are both two different characters. this is something i want to set as a precedent for the next few hcs, bc i’ve been thinking a lot about the way he presents himself in ARR vs the later expansions, and i’m going to try and explain why and how they’re different, per my own perception of course.

ARR thancred has a different speech pattern from HW thancred. it’s more flowery. it’s more poetic. each line of dialogue is diligently woven, pleasant to the ears, exactly the type of thing he’d want to make others hear. it’s disingenuous. it’s a mask. it’s all to obtain information or seek some sort of gratification in escapades or flings that serve as him utilizing his own charm/silver tongue to obtain what he needs. information for the scions’ advantage, or just for nothing more than that, sexual gratification, something i’ll talk about later. what’s important to note here is that, through all of ARR, thancred has been accepted as the flirty womanizer who hits on any woman near his vicinity ( for the purposes of my portrayal, this is strictly exclusive to any woman that is not a lalafell. 1.0 shows him doing exactly that and i refuse to integrate it into my writing ). examples of such poetic lines he has, especially with regards to women, can be found below:

naturally, HW thancred is different from all of this. whereas ARR thancred is far more charismatic, flirtatious, and poetic with every line, HW thancred is, for lack of better word, a lot more blunt. this specifically becomes more apparent after patch 3.1. his lines of dialogue don’t have that glimmer anymore, each rose colored word is gone and replaced by dialogue that has him being more straightforward and forsaking any previous notions that identified him as a flirtatious character. one could surely say, well it’s because he isn’t flirting with people anymore, and while that’s definitely a part of it, i like to think it’s more than just him not flirting with people anymore. it’s because minfilia’s gone. it’s because he failed. i’ll touch on this more later on this post, bc i just want to focus on here that he’s more blunt because of the fact he’s dealing with his own grief. he’s a lot more standoffish, he becomes distant and it becomes difficult to tell if he and ARR thancred were the same characters. they are, of course! but both act drastically different because one still had what he was intending to protect, whereas the other had failed in his duty.

with that being said, i do want to expand on this idea that ARR thancred, despite being different from HW thancred, still deals with his own guilt from robbing minfilia of her only family, her father. it’s something that has followed him for a very long time, something that creeps around his mind and he doesn’t want to think about it. this is further supported by ShB thancred imparting to you that he practically threw himself into his work to become every dunkard’s best friend for information. in ARR, he was dealing with that guilt by being a workaholic. he flirted with women at times, not just for information, but because he wanted a high that alcohol couldn’t grant him. that is to say, both working endlessly and having multiple flings is what allowed him to move forward. it was his unhealthy coping mechanisms, ones that distracted his thoughts from wandering towards his guilt. it’s far more subtle to tell when his mask has been so reinforced, one could easily believe there’s nothing but a charming man before your very eyes.

i want to embrace the tragedy of thancred’s character the most, since i feel like these parts make up for the type of character he is. a man from bitter beginnings that has suffered greatly, lost what he’s held dear, attempting to sort out that grief he holds to move forward. this is why i will be holding his past as a street urchin dear, as he truly came from nothing. he had no family at first, the very meaning of the word was alien to him, as both his parents passed away. louisoix and minfilia, i’d say, are the closest people thancred considers family. while i do believe it’s difficult for him to create emotional bonds with those outside of the scions, i do firmly hold the belief that thancred’s appreciation of the scions and his bonds with them greatly increases after the end of ARR. 

i emphasize this a lot in my threads; thancred, after being separated from the wol and the other scions, will come to greatly care for them and see them more as mere companions/work buddies. this is before he’s aware of minfilia’s fate, however. he intends to maintain some emotional distance from the others after discovering what happened to her. it’s hard for him to convey how he’s feeling. he’s severely distressed by his failure and it’s indubitably affected how he interacts with others. he will not easily open up about how he feels. he doesn’t feel comfortable. it’s difficult. it’s hard being that vulnerable when the one thing he promised himself he’d do right went horribly wrong. this is why i choose to portray him with this veneer that’re nothing more but the vestiges of ARR thancred: the faux smiles, the half-hearted poetry he spouts that may be aggravating to others, these little gestures that are reminiscent of who he was as you once knew him. that’s all a ruse he dons to reassure others that nothing is wrong, that he’s fine, even if he truly isn’t.

thancred, i believe, shifts his unhealthy coping mechanics a bit here. from this tragedy, he chooses to fixate on drinking, working, and fighting. 

no drink can truly numb how he feels permanently, but he would rather try and drink anything that can intoxicate him enough to forget the past for a moment. no matter how transient, a moment where he can experience that high is far better than drowning in his own thoughts. this is intrinsically tied with fighting.

fighting with others becomes customary for him, it’s likely to happen in any tavern he comes across. he always escapes before he can be found, but it serves no purpose than to seek that high; nevertheless, it’s integral to mention he will avoid picking fights with those he holds dear even in an intoxicated state. needless conflict with those he cherishes would only make him feel worse than he’s already feeling.

there is a fair reason he maintains a safe distance from them, which becomes especially evident with how much he pushes himself into his work after he loses minfilia. thancred does not rest a lot, you’re more likely to find him with heavy bags under his eye that’re begging him to go to sleep. he’ll insist he’s fine, even if you were to try and pry him away from it, he’d obstinately refuse out of sheer desire to keep working. even if it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism and he’s aware of it, it’s the only thing he can fathom to not think about each mistake he’s committed.

 this is not to say that thancred will be an exclusively tragic character that you’re meant to feel bad for at all times. he is a layered character that is more than just what’s deeply impacted him negatively. he still appreciates those moments where he can give a bonafide grin and simply joke around with someone, those moments that’re a nice respite from the chaotic reality he lives in. even if his life is messy as hell, he still wants to try and partake in any moment he could truly love. thancred may deem himself a failure in his own eyes, but he will continue to try and live each day to the fullest, to be content with himself and with the bonds he has. to protect what he does still have. even if it’s a thorny, difficult road that’s filled with hurt, loss, and regret, he’ll traverse through it if it means protecting what’s still here. what he still loves dearly.

thancred doesn’t accept feet pics from anyone

he loves to take advantage of his height when he’s taller next to someone. needless to say, the 5′9″ manlet is not too content being shorter when he’s in a relationship but oh well!

anyway i’m so sorry for this being super fucking messy but i don’t have any thoughts and i. i don’t know if this shit is either common knowledge or me being melodramatic, but thancred is kinda fucked up and messy and i love him.

[fmdrohan]

hello, hi ! 👋🏽  i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨ 

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎  lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

[kaibacxrps]

Anonymous has sent: 1 13 18

Lets get some NaCl-y on Munday! [Accepting]

1. What’s the worst role playing experience you’ve had?

// These are all old shit that happened with me, but I’ve most certainly never forgotten about them:

Crazy ass fictional kin who went out of their way, to steal a rping partner of mine. Driven by what could be described as they “saw me in the way of their love” and, despised my portrayal of the character they identified as. They succeeded in achieving that goal, but apparently their union only lasted like 3-4 months afterwards. Oh the karma.

Xenophobia? In the RPC? Hell yeah. I was told to tag or not use my language in my blogs by an anon bc “it triggered their anxiety, whenever they came across languages they didn’t understand uwu”. Then when I refused to do that, I was labeled as being racist and a toxic rper. Some jokes just write by themselves.

And there were a handful of run ins with cliques, that tried to isolate me within the RPCs. Which uh, didn’t quite work and as far as I’m aware, the cliques dissolved not longer after.

13. Your opinion on straight shipping?

// It’s 2021, can you guys stop bashing on it for like 5 secs? Heterosexuality is a valid sexuality, just like any other. People who bash on it, while yodelling about being “super accepting & progressive uwu” are the biggest hypocrites, I’ve ever seen.

If you’re bashing on it bc “ew fuCK mEN”, congratulations. You guys are only parroting, harmful rad-feminist bullshit agenda.

Fun fact: The majority of my favorite ships ARE straight couples (peach, mizu, logic, trust, Isis/Mahad, etc.). So, I really don’t wish to hear anyone’s BS about that.

18. Have you ever felt like something off about someone?

// Oh hell yeah, my gut feeling is a very strong one.I’ve been listening to it, for a long time. I’ve lost count of how many times, it saved me from troublesome muns and helped me avoid awkward situations.

On one hand, I can see how bad it is to rely too much on this. As it definetely, prevents me from meeting new folks. And I’ve been proven wrong about folks, in the past a number of times as well (as in, they turned out to be nice folks).

But at the same time, I can’t help it you know? This has been a crucial thing, that has assisted me in enjoying RP and overall, have a good time while at it.

Anyhow, I do preemptively block people who rub me in the wrong way. And try my best, to avoid them. I don’t like drama, I’m not someone who would stirr it out of nowhere. So, I do this in order to prevent any form of confrontation or what have you.

[frenchibi]

A rant-essay about The Witcher books (and comparison to the show)

((after having read book one, and started into a good chunk of book two.))

Proceed at your own discretion, there will be a lot of frustration and swearing. Also, spoilers for basically the entirety of the Netflix show. Also, there is discussion of sexual assault and objectification and lots and lots of sexism.

The structure of my rant is as follows (because yes I structured it):

 1. Things that I enjoyed in the books

1.1 Geralt talks more

1.2 Geralt and Jaskier have a better relationship

1.3 The fairy tale theme

2. Things that made me want to scream

2.1 Geralt (is not a good character)

2.2 Yennefer (deserves better)

2.3 Jaskier's sexism (Netflix!Jaskier would NEVER)

2.4 Female Characters; Sexy Fantasy That Fucks (it's bad)

2.5 Narrative devices and structure (it’s bad)

3. Bonus: Why the audiobook grinds my gears

Total length: 4k words :’) Click to proceed.

(So, we’re doing this? I think forty likes is sufficient general interest, so... okay. Obligatory disclaimer here: This Is My Opinion. However, I am not fabricating any of the… grounds for my opinion, it is based on the content of the books, that I read, and which are broadly available, so anyone can read them and see for themselves. Personally, I would not recommend the experience, and below I will detail the reasons why. If, like I was, you’re hesitant about reading them, this essay might sway your decision either way. You might go “oh thanks op now I know I won’t like it” or “huh I think I wanna see this for myself because you’re yelling a lot”. It’s all equally valid. Anyway, let’s proceed with “things I enjoyed”.)

1.1 Geralt talks more Geralt in the books is a bit of a mess as far as characterization goes - but I don't hate that he's less stoic here and less... idk, arrogant/superior towards humans than he is in the show. He talks to people, engages with them, discloses opinions and thoughts and… it's a good look. We even get several pages of monologue from him at one point (because he is talking to a priestess who has taken a vow of silence, but I’ll take it – the books in general have a monologue/structure problem which I will address in 2.5) which is way more than the show ever provided us with. I’d like to say it gives us an insight into the character but maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, see below (2.1).

 1.2 Geralt and Jaskier have a better relationship

Geralt and Jaskier are FRIENDS. And I mean that literally the first thing we hear Geralt say about Jaskier in canon in book one is "of course I want to see him, he's my friend". Which - Netflix!Geralt could NEVER and I'm salty about it. Jaskier in the books has his own problems (2.3) but I still think he's my favorite overall, he's fun and Geralt genuinely enjoys his company. They travel together and ENJOY it, they joke, they reminisce and it is Good. Netflix, take notes.

 1.3 The fairy tale theme

This gets lost in the Netflix adaptation altogether but. The idea in the books is that all these monsters that Geralt encounters are dark twists on fairy tales and I'm HERE FOR IT. Renfri is literally Snow White But Badass. Cinderella, Rapunzel and Rumpelstiltskin’s stories are mentioned in passing, and other ideas that are explored here have fairy tale elements, e.g. slaying the dragon. It's cool, but apparently the story loses this aspect in later volumes so I guess it makes sense that the show decided to omit it. Still a bummer tho bc I liked that.

 So. Now on to Things that made me want to Scream, which is what we’re all really here for.

2.1 Geralt (is not a good character)

Geralt, oh Geralt, I wish you weren't such an obvious Mary Sue, Saviour™ and thinly veiled Jesus allegory. Geralt is always, ALWAYS right and it pisses me the fuck off. Geralt gets all the women he wants with NO PROMPTING and it makes me angry. Geralt always has the last laugh in every and any situation. Geralt is always smarter and more powerful than the Idiot Humans. Geralt ignores advice and suffers no consequences for it. Geralt has no well-thought out character, no consistency - he just is the "main character" and "hero" that the story needs - if the story needs him to be smart, he is, if it needs him to make a mistake, he does - he has no AGENCY and it’s BORING. Why am I supposed to care about him, exactly? Because the plot tells me to, and because everyone else is framed like an idiot in comparison and you’re supposed to like strong and smart characters. Cool. Bleh.

 2.2 Yennefer (deserves better)

Strap in, because this is the longest part.

Yennefer in the books is… a badass (but sexy) until the plot needs her to be a damsel (but sexy). She also occasionally has one (1) other character trait and that trait is Crazy Bitch.

I’ll admit I was not her biggest fan after the show (I didn’t really connect with her that much after she became vindictive™, though I gotta say her role in the last battle was Very Cool) but in the wake of what I have read so far, I have decided to AGGRESSIVELY STAN because she fucking. Deserves better. Oh my GOD it makes me so angry. Here’s how I think her character creation probably went:

"Ok so here we have Geralt, who is a badass, and So Cool, and he could have any Female he desires. But his Female can't be inferior and giggly and vapid like literally all other women - she needs to be the ideal fantasy Fantasy.

First: she needs powers. So we'll make her a Cool Sorceress! And more powerful than the other sorceresses because Geralt deserves the BEST. But also, he needs to be able to be Cooler and save her so she needs to be (like all females are, because they are inferior) emotionally volatile and vulnerable, and Geralt will also be the only one who gets to see that Vulnerability because Geralt has the biggest dick is her love interest. So she will be weak around him because he's just so hung wonderful.

Secondly, she needs a believable weakness (besides being too emotional because all women are too emotional), and as we all know, women have one purpose: to bREED. But not Yennefer - oh no, Yennefer is (wait for it, this is the dramatic backstory, hold your breath) broken, she's BARREN, USELESS AND EMPTY AND SHE HATES HERSELF FOR IT!!!!!

*pause for dramatic effect*

I know right that's so SEXY

[This is the point where I’m like… this might, possibly, maybe, under very different circumstances have been a compelling storyline if the author had ever consulted a woman. Or, you know, if the story was written by a woman. This is objectification and fetishization of the worst kind and I hate it. The show has this element too and it’s bad there too but it’s nowhere near as pronounced as in the books. Anyway-]

Speaking of sexy - obviously Yennefer is the sexiest of all the women Geralt has ever encountered. And because I, as the author, am aware that's unrealistic, I will drop in YET ANOTHER PIECE OF DRAMATIC BACKSTORY: She used to be a HUNCHBACK!!! *air horns* I KNOW RIGHT OH MY GOD and now she made herself SEXY with MAGIC because YOU KNOW ALL WOMEN WANT TO BE OBJECTIFIED BY MEN!!! SEXY FANTASY THAT FUCKS!!!!

[also? This is revealed to Geralt (and the reader) not by her telling him, or by a flashback, but because he "sees that she has the eyes of a hunchback". I can’t even begin to state how much I hate this.]

Anyway every time she shows up it will be mentioned how shapely her legs and breasts are and how young she looks despite the fact that she must be Old. She will turn heads and men will scorn her because she is too pretty and not interested in them and men hate anything that has any amount of sexual power or agency. but not Geralt, no, because he gets to fuck her at the end of the day so he's the only one who doesn't objectify her out loud. (but he does in his internal monologue. hooray.)

Also, to emphasize this point, we will have a side character sexually violate her while Geralt is tied up because that is The New Hotness™"

And if that wasn't enough, she as a character subscribes to what is known as "Female Hysteria For No Reason" and will become a Woman Scorned over absolutely nothing if the plot needs her to be angry.

The plot regarding her relationship with Geralt is also a bit different - in the show, she gets angry once she finds out Geralt's third wish ties them together (whether this is justified may be subjective - except yeah, no, she’s absolutely right, Geralt what the fuck??). In the book, she hears his wish as he makes it because MAGIC and is somehow SUPER INTO IT because this author has never met a human woman before.

...and then I need to complain about the storyline with the dragon. Because, you will remember, in the show, she gets angry and storms off after learning of the third wish, but that can’t be the case because she already knows about it in the books, right?

Well.

 The story in the books goes like this:

Six years ago, after one of their affairs™ Geralt leaves without waking Yennefer (but like. Leaves her flowers instead) and admittedly that's kind of rude but also like... ok. That doesn’t seem too strange a thing for Geralt to do. Maybe he just wanted to let her rest? Anyway.

They don't meet for six years, in which Geralt idk... idly misses her or something, and Yennefer develops a deep lasting hatred based on her abandonment issues…? (I am. grasping. there's no good reason if this relationship is as casual to both of them as they have made it sound, but she is SUPER MAD because the plot needs her to be ANGERY).

So with his backdrop, cue the search for the dragon. Geralt is like "eh I'll join them. I have nowhere better to be, also Jaskier is here and he's not boring so ok" and then he hears Yennefer will also be there and goes "oh well all the better, haven't seen her in a while"

And when he follows her to her tent to greet her, she spits verbal FIRE at him and is like "bitch you're lucky i didn't gouge your fucking EYES out" and other lovely statements of a similar calibre, and Geralt just stands there and takes it and tells her he missed her.

which implies either a) he knows what he did and he thinks he deserves this, or b) he has done nothing wrong in his own eyes and this is just "bitch crazy" to be ignored. It is heavily implied to be b), because, in our third person POV narrative, we get NO REMORSE from him, no indication as to what he thinks about this whole thing Yennefer is accusing him of, nothing at all in terms of emotional response to her. Cool. She yells at him and then storms of, and he just… idk, shrugs I guess?

So, they travel, Yennefer is Icy Bitch Queen but also everyone hates her and insults her to an absurd degree (see above, she's Too Sexy and Powerful and also like, a Woman) and she takes it without saying anything back but it's obvious that everyone's trash talk is affecting her (so it’s obvious that at some point she will be Vulnerable again). Jaskier, who seems to have no personal grudge against her at this point in the books, joins in the teasing because he's there to make fun of everyone I guess? (boy.) No deeper malice from him than from anyone else though.

And then, for drama, the party reaches a narrow bridge. They’re debating whether or not it is safe to cross with all their supplies and then BAM! there's a landslide so they have no choice. The events go like this:

- Geralt lets the others cross first. Right as he wants to cross, he hears Yennefer yell because her horse fell over, because of course it did

- Geralt abandons his own means of escape to go help her up, and then she proceeds to save his ass because SHE HAS FUCKING MAGIC THERE WAS NO POINT IN YOU GOING TO SAVE HER YOU FUCKER she just makes a shield so nothing hits them and they stumble to the bridge

- they get caught on the bridge as it collapses, and of course Yennefer is the one who falls first, and he catches her, so they're both hanging there and he's holding on to her suspended over this. Canyon or whatever.

- Jaskier, from above, yells to the others to get a rope to help pull them up but they respond to "wait until the bitch has fallen, then we'll pull the witcher up"

which. wow. but ok.

Yennefer can barely hold on, and HERE is where Geralt asks her to forgive him for… his wrongdoings…? (you know, can't have her die with a grudge, I guess? Or whatever?) He's like "Yen, forgive me" and she says "NEVER"

((and also, she has consistently kept telling him to stop calling her Yen (which he first started when they started... having Relations™ so obviously now it has bad memories attached to it for her), which he blatantly ignores because her feelings don't matter))

In the end, Jaskier gets the others to help despite their reluctance and hatred of Yennefer and they travel on. Yennefer's back to being Ice Queen - and then they find the dragon. Some fucker tries to fight it alone and gets injured. Yennefer is in charge of healing this dude, and so she ends up alone with Geralt in a tent – where she asks him to double-cross everyone else and kill the dragon himself (after telling them all she would cooperate with them) - "for me. I want the dragon, Geralt, for myself. All of it. I don't want to share. Kill it for me" and then explains that not all is lost because with certain parts of the dragon, SOMEONE CAN CURE HER BARRENNESS and i want to launch myself into the fucking sun

Geralt is like "uhhhh"

she says "on the bridge, you asked for my forgiveness- if you do this, I'll forgive you"

and then HE GOES "well, that no longer matters to me. I'm over it now" which hsadjlkfhsajdklfhsajkldfhaskdfsj I cannot begin to impart to you how many levels of “UGH” I felt at the predictable reversal of roles because he can’t ACTUALLY have to apologize to her – it’s HER who has to apologize to HIM for being an irrational Female

and now SHE'S all like. quivering lip and wanting him back or whatever and I am SICKENED that SHE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO GROVEL NOW BECAUSE THE PLOT CANNOT HAVE GERALT EVER MAKE A MISTAKE AND OWN TO IT?!?

Thanks, I hate it.

 Oh and I almost forgot in all my rage about that storyline – when we first meet her, we learn that Yennefer apparently doesn’t “bother with the whalebone [i.e. corset] nonsense other women use” (literal quote from the book) so I guess her tits are magic???

This just in, if she needs boob support SHE’S A THOT, if your knockers don’t stand on their own you’re INFERIOR and NOT DESIRABLE, GTFO.

 2.3 Jaskier’s sexism (Netflix!Jaskier would never)

Jaskier, you have been done dirty.

It could have been so cool too - Jaskier in the books is witty and likeable and makes friends wherever he goes because everyone likes a bard?? Also he's really smart and knowledgeable because "a bard needs to know about many things" which is SO VALID??? And Geralt trusts him and cares about his opinion??? And also it's clear Jaskier likes Geralt, not just for the purpose of writing ballads about him, but because they're old friends, they've travelled together a lot - yes, their relationship is good here, regardless of your shipping preferences. (Also, he wears a hat with a large feather on it, which is how Geralt recognizes him in crowds, and it's amazing and hilarious.)

HOWEVER.

Jaskier treats women terribly. At his first introduction, he literally gropes a priestess (and then makes fun of the high priestess for chastising him for it). He sees women very much as objects to be… maybe not “won” but, well, persuaded, which makes him a tiny bit better than most of the other men, who are basically straight-up rapists. But then there's the scene with Yennefer which. Made everything turn sour tbh. It goes like this:

Yennefer wants to go after the dragon alone (see above), but before she can get Geralt to do it for her and double-cross everyone, she's overwhelmed by some of the other men in the party and they're all tied up (Jaskier, Geralt, some other pacifist sorcerer who is around, and Yennefer). And one of the men, who hates her for her (sexual) power, rips open her blouse and exposes her and assaults her while she screams, so then he gags her. And then when he’s done he walks away and leaves her exposed. Geralt looks away after she screams at him not to stare (wow, points for chivalry, the standard is literally So Low - also his justification for obeying her wishes is that he’s already seen her boobs so it’s not a big deal to him anymore) but Jaskier shamelessly stares at her even after she makes it absolutely clear she does not consent to ANY of this and has no choice because SHE IS TIED UP, and he even jokes that he'll write a ballad about her perfect breasts. And I'm over here like.... no. no, no, no, no, no. Jaskier deserved better characterization and Yennefer deserves a better fucking franchise.

 2.4 Female characters; Sexy Fantasy That Fucks (it’s bad)

I have touched a lot on this already so I'll try to be brief, but. Ugh.

Sexy Fantasy That Fucks™ is practically a legit genre and sadly a lot of semi-progressive fantasy falls into this category - where we have moved on from having only like one or two named female character (see: LotR) to having several, and look, they can even fight, but only as long as they're aggressively sexually attractive to men while they do it. Poor Harley Quinn suffered the same treatment in Suicide Squad - The Male Gaze Filter.

Here in the books it goes like this: Oh look, “vaguely tribal” women who fight - but they're also the most overtly sexual and involved in a canon off-screen orgy with Geralt and an older (practically old) man and are portrayed as Perpetually Horny. Oh look, Yennefer, a badass sorceress who falls apart when Geralt so much as looks her way because Geralt is so fucking great I guess. Then there’s the 14-year-old striga princess who needs to be described, once her curse is lifted, with emphasis to her “perky breasts”. SHE'S FOURTEEN. And there’s the young priestesses, who are subtly flattered by Jaskier's direct "advances" because, you know, they've dedicated their lives to serving a goddess but understandably they just WANT TO FUCK™.

There is a single female character who is not sexualized - the head priestess, Nenneke. She's described as fat and old (and wise though, throw her a bone). Geralt respects her because of her wisdom but that's it - she has a Use™. And also, he ignores her advice in the end anyway. Pity she wasn't more beautiful I guess. I am Sickened.

 2.5 Narrative devices and structure (it’s bad)

Now, we get to the bones of the thing. There's... one main thing that really bothers me and that's a CLASSIC - the fact that this author prefers to have action explained to the reader through monologues by characters that inexplicably have All The Information, rather than have us, you know, experience the action first hand. There are a couple of fight scenes of Geralt vs A Monster, sure, but that's all we get - everything else is told to us through monologues. (and yes it's still a monologue even if Geralt interrupts to say "go on" or "get to the point". It's not really a dialogue if the other person is only being expositioned at. Now Geralt just looks impatient and annoying.) Even the short story format (of the first two books) is explained this way: the individual short stories are monologues within conversations in the base timeline, explaining to the reader (and to Nenneke in the narrative proper) backstories and how characters met.

Which... it's a choice? It makes more sense than the show with it’s wack-ass timeline with absolutely no conext. But like. Why can't you have us at least discover the respective monster through someone else's POV though? I get that we're always staying with Geralt because Geralt is oh so great, but rather than have some Constable explain to him for like twelve pages how the princess (who is, without any intrigue, an incest-princess - this is not a mystery, everybody is aware of this at the beginning of the story and freely provides this information without prompting) became a striga and how many people she has killed and what people say she looks like and how to allegedly cure her - can’t we see that shit happen? Like... ok, thanks? I hate it. The show did this better.

 3. Bonus: why the audiobook grinds my gears

Last and definitely least - the audiobook is BAD (but I don't want to buy physical copies, and my library won't have the English version because I live in Germany, so I guess I'm stuck with it). The guy who reads it is Bad At Reading Out Loud because his emphasis/cadence is incredibly unnatural (also regrettably all the books are read by the same guy) and his pronunciation of names (most notably Jaskier, who is called Dandelion in the English version of the books) is inconsistent??? He started out by (correctly) calling him dandelion in book 1 and now has changed to pronouncing it dandelion, like the flower, which is not how you say his name (and... no offense if he’d started out that way because I, too, thought that was how you said it just from reading the word - but he says it CORRECTLY in the first book and then changes it to the wrong pronunciation in book two so I’m confused?? How does that happen?)

Also - different accents for different characters are only a good idea if a) you're good at accents and b) they aren't overtly connoted? Like. Don't give a guy in a fantasy setting a bad russian accent??? Also what part of Geralt as a character made you think SCOTTISH???? Oof.

And another thing - these little descriptors after direct speech? They MATTER.

"Don't touch me," Yennefer hissed

and

"Don't touch me," Yennefer screamed

are two very different sentences and should be read as such. You can't just. Say "Don't touch me" seductively and then add "she yelled". That's not how voice acting works. Please, pLEASE I'M SUFFERING. I was already struggling enough with some of the content of the books and now you’re making consuming them really difficult and irritating :’) Oof.

 In conclusion – I don’t even know. I was mad and now I’m tired.

  Anyway, all this to say – I didn’t hate every aspect of the books. I will keep reading (in my case listening) because I’m stupid, I apparently love to suffer and I am, thanks to the show, invested in the storyline and want to know what happens. But I will most certainly keep complaining about them because that’s the only way to make this fun for myself. And are you not entertained?!

Who knows. Maybe stuff will get better.

Take from this post what you will, and if it’s only my personal hypocrisy then that’s fine. I hope you had a nice day – I’m gonna go make myself some tea to calm down. And I’ll have you know that despite what you may have heard, I have never worn a bra in my life, because I’m not like other girls.

[honeymoonjin]

day 10

Okay, so I had no idea this chapter was out. (Sorry for the late review!) I had anticipated for it to come out early this coming week for some reason so I wasn’t even aware that it had dropped until I started seeing a lot of the asks refer to events that I don’t recall happening in the previous chapters. So this was a very pleasant surprise. And I feel as though “surprises” were kind of the theme for this chapter.

In true “Gentlemen” fashion, we shall start with Jin. 😉 Whilst reading Jin’s section, I was struck by an odd feeling: the warm fuzzies. Despite all of the sexy times that have been happening in the villa, I have always felt as though the kiss scenes have always been the most intimate moments between the characters because the notion is so “romantic” in nature. The moment when our lady realizes how close she and Jin were despite being half clothed reiterated this to me, making the entire moment when Hoseok interrupt them (and then y/n’s subsequent verbal slip up) all the more impactful. The whole notion of “it hurt because it mattered” never felt more real than when she realized that that connection that Jin felt whilst being with her resonated far deeper than she had anticipated made the “scene” much more heartbreaking. I love that y/n is not cookie-cutter perfect, by the way. I like that she makes mistakes, that despite no intention to harm, sometimes she sticks her foot in her mouth. It makes her super flipping relatable and I really really want to thank you for weaving that into the story! There is something to be said about how mature Jin handled the whole situation too. Like it was blatant that he was effected by what she said but he tried to keep a level head about it. Knowing him, I’m surprised he didn’t react more irrationally. I know that he’s most likely trying to be “the voice of reason” but I can’t help but feel as our lady felt: “What if he’s just pretending to save face and make things less awkward?” Something to ruminate on whilst I am surprised once again during the breakfast scene. 

How is it that all of this has become so normal? That ease of transition feels so effortless and I am left with the biggest smile on my face. And yet, there is this invisible veil of tension. Starting right from when things left off awkwardly with Jin to Yoongi dressing differently and acting odd. I felt like there was this undercurrent of unease which I think worked in Yoongi’s favor because it set the “mood” for his scene perfectly! Not only did the mysterious and strange actions from him add to the intrigue but when the topic of her limits and the reminder of her safe word came up, I must admit that all of it left me quite anxious. Mainly because I didn’t know what to expect. And when the scene moved outside, I was even more confused… and yet still intrigued. Then when the scene started in earnest, I was blown away! It was raw and visceral and primal! There was something so savage in the way he ravished her, in the setting, in the mood that it set for the entirety of their intercourse, as if the scene had been laced with a live wire! The adrenaline fueled that feral intensity between Yoongi and our lady and I couldn’t help but feel my heart skip a beat when he told her to run. And yet, even when things got really rough, I never once felt like she was in danger; the way you wrote it left me feeling that our lady was completely safe and that Yoongi was in complete control of his actions which just left the scene to be so intense in the hottest way! It was sexy af and I think it might be the hottest scene you’ve written for this series. I don’t know if it’s because it’s Yoongi but the way you write him and that entire scene (aftercare included!!) made this entire chapter so amazing! From the specific adjectives you chose to associate with him and the very intentional imagery that you used for Yoongi, to the way the scene played out - *pterodactyl screech* 😍 It was so flipping good!! It was executed so well, I have to commend you for how well thought out the atmosphere was for this scene. The only other scene that came even close to affecting me the way Yoongi’s scene did would probably be Taehyung’s first scene with our lady. Just… wow! I honestly could spend all night praising how amazing this scene with Yoongi was. Just… 10/10. Perfection! 🤩

So many lovely, magical surprises in this chapter (including how I swooned hard when Yoongi comforted our lady about Jin. Just the fact that she felt comfortable enough to open up to him about it made my heart just UwU hard!) What wasn’t surprising was how spectacular this entry was. As always, you never cease to amaze me with your innovative way of making these prompts so interesting and even putting members into roles they may or not realize they would fit into always leave me in awe of your literary prowess. Thank you so much for your continued hard work. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us in the coming entry! 💜 Jan

----

don’t apologise !! it was a pretty out-of-nowhere release, so i’m not surprised if it went off the radar for a lot of readers haha 

and also THANK YOU ! you’re so right when you say that the kisses are some of the most intimate moments. i feel like when the initial premise is sex, sex is sort of removed as the peak of intimacy for our characters, leaving them to seek those tender moments in kisses, hand-holding, moments of privacy away from the cameras, things like this.

as much as i joke about yn having dumb bitch syndrome bc i need some soft angst and tension and can’t bear to have the guys fuck up, i think for me the “scene” slip, and the scene itself in general are important for us to see that already, after less than a fortnight the people in the house are starting to develop their own perspectives on what exactly is going on and the relationships forming, and that these perspectives don’t always perfectly overlap. 

jin definitely puts a lot of importance in wanting to be the impartial party that anyone can come to, and so i think for him feelings that threaten that objectivity are something that he struggles with a lot, and perhaps yn’s comment was a reality check for him on how he’s beginning to lose that impartiality. we’ll see more on that later though, jin did promise yn a talk !

and oh my goodness ! i was wondering how you’d find the yoongi scene and i’m so surprised that you think it’s the hottest ! it’s a lot of fun reading about how it got to you 0.0 as much as i’m partial to yoongi’s blend of intense-then laidback-then comforting-then intense again, i’ll definitely challenge myself to top my personal best ;)

thanks so much for all your kind words as usual, i got so excited when i saw the notif for your submission !!! but alas i can’t take credit for assigning prompts, i use a random generator for that (though in this week, some of the anons i got suggesting potential prompts were so good that i couldn’t help myself and changed one up a bit o.o)

i’m so happy you enjoyed, and i’ll look forward to hearing your thoughts again in the future xxxx 

[ohtheseboysilove]

Unwanted feelings  [Ben Hardy x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 900 K +

Warnings : angst, fluff, sad joe hours

Summary : Joe fall for Ben’s girlfriend. And obviously, it hurt.

Note :  Poor baby Joe !!! I wrote these two parts in only few days bc i was super inspired for this request, thanks again @gardenjungle ! There a part 2 almost done to finish this story bc it would been too heavy in one part, tell me what you think lovies !!

☀ Masterlist ☀ 800 followers celebration !!!

Joe never meant to feel something for (Y/N), he was aware how wrong it was. Ben and (Y/N) were together for five years now and, recently, they get engaged. Joe’s heart broke at the new but he had no right to feel sad or jealous, she wasn’t his and she never will. But feelings weren’t something that Joe or anyone could control, they were here and there weren’t much Joe could do expect waiting for them to fade away.

Ben introduced (Y/N) to him and all the bohemian rhapsody cast during the shooting of the movie and at first, it was just an innocent crush for Joe. (Y/N) was a beautiful girl and even a blind man could see that. She had the prettiest and most charming smile he ever saw, his heart fluttered heavily in his chest every time. He also really like her doe-eyes, full of happiness and excitement each time she went on set, making Joe weak on his knees. Yes, she was absolutely a true beauty.

But things went down when they became friends and saw each other more and more, Ben was very happy that his girlfriend and his new friends were having fun together so he brought her everywhere. Joe felt himself falling harder. She was also a really fun person, always giggling at his jokes, even when they weren’t funny, she was definitively a good audience. Always a witty comment to tease back Joe, catching him off guard most of the time because he was noticing how similar they were and how much he wanted to know her more. Without Ben. But it was awful thoughts to have so he kept his mouth shut. Ben used to call (Y/N) sunshine and Joe never more agreed in his life, she was a literal ball of pure joy, in an eternal good mood and the red hair knew they could had been such a good match. He was just five years too short, life could really be unfair.

The other thing which wasn’t helping Joe about forgetting his feelings was how much (Y/N) was a touchy-feely person. She loved hugs and cheek kisses and everything that was friendly and totally innocent but it made Joe shivered every time. The other day, she cheekily pressed a finger on his nose, making a boop noise and Joe almost chocked at the gesture. She didn’t seems to notice how much this simple and childish act had make her friend blushed, Ben had just entered the room and nothing else existed anymore. Usually she only did the nose-boop to her boyfriend, loving to tease him and after that, Joe had think about the meaning, why she was suddenly so friendly ? Did that mean something ? Was he overthinking a stupid think ? He didn’t have the answer and wasn’t sure if he wanted them.

Joe knew he was too deep in with (Y/N) to not fall in love with her, after a year or so, during shooting, trying to repress his feelings for Ben’s girlfriend, it was worse than at the beginning. But during the seven next months, he saw her less, him and the cast were promoting the movie around the world and he didn’t think about her too much. He just knew she was with Ben in Italy for the shooting a new Netflix movie and he honestly thought that he was finally free of these stupid and forbidden feelings for (Y/N). He was so piss off with himself because Ben and (Y/N) were such dear friends to him and he could ruin everything if someone knew his real thoughts about her.

So when Ben invited everyone to celebrate his engagement with (Y/N), Joe was rather confident, his feelings were weaker and almost none existent at this point. Life was good again and he could hang out with his best mates without fearing to spill his feelings for (Y/N). But life wasn’t that easy. He should have know that. As soon as he stepped into the brand new house of Ben and (Y/N), he felt weird. Especially when Gwilym and Rami were doing bets about when (Y/N) would get pregnant. ‘In the next six months!’ Rami seemed very sure of himself and Joe’ stomach twisted uncomfortably. And then he saw her. Well, not really at first because she literally jumped on him, hugging him tightly and rambling about how much she had miss everyone. Her lips pressing in a loud Mwah! on his burning cheek and then she screamed for five minutes straight with Lucy about her engagement ring. The two girls gushing excitedly about how beautiful the jewellery was, looking at it in every angle of light possible, bouncing on their feet like kids in front of a candy shop.

Allen and his wife snorted loudly when Lucy sent a knowing glance to her boyfriend, Rami swallowed nervously at the silent meaning ‘what are you waiting to ask me the same question dumbass ?’ He could swore she actually mouthed the word dumbass.

Joe felt even weirder when he hugged Ben, who was telling him how happy he was to see him. Then the red hair looked back at (Y/N) and the guilt and shame were now very clearly the reason he felt weird. His feelings for (Y/N) hit him like a brick in his stomach, coming back even stronger than before. She was also prettier than he remembered or maybe it was just her glow from her recent engagement that was making her so breath-taking, she was literally shinning. The rest of the evening was blurry for Joe, he drank much more than necessary but it was the only thing he had to survive that night. Especially when Ben and (Y/N) stood up, his arm around her waist as he raised a toast at his future wife, telling everyone how much he loved her and how excited he was to spend the rest of his life with her by his side. The words of Ben weren’t the most painful for him, not even when he talked about having kids with her, no. The worst was the way (Y/N) was looking at him, her head raised toward the blond, eyes glossy and a smile of pure adoration on her features, like he was the only person in the room at this moment. It was love, pure and raw. Ben bowed to give her kiss and she beamed at the gesture, her fingers caressing his cheek so softly that it felt too intimate for Joe to watch. He wanted to do nothing else than go home and cry. And that what he did. After saying he was feeling sick, and it wasn’t a lie, only it wasn’t from the alcohol, but he kept this detail for himself, he left in a Uber and sobbed during all the way back to his place.

Joe made his best to avoid the couple during the next months, he was so ashamed of himself, he was supposed to be happy for his friends, not stupidly jealous. But he didn’t want to raise any suspicion and so he found excuses to not go mostly when (Y/N) was around, focusing on going out with only the boys. He even had a girlfriend! Her name was Molly, she was cute and adorably small and Joe liked her very much, she was really a nice girl. But she wasn’t (Y/N). He felt horrible because he was desperate to have a date at (Y/N) and Ben’s wedding, he couldn’t go alone, he would just break down. That why, when he noticed the way the waitress from his favourite café was looking at him, he asked her for a date. And from there, they started dating, making forget the pain in his heart for few moments.

Exactly eight months after the engagement party, it was the wedding day. Joe was sick, truly sick. The thought of watching the woman he was deeply in love with, marrying one his best friend was making him almost throw up. And he was the best man of Ben, like his life wasn’t enough of a joke but he couldn’t have said no to his friend. Despite being in love with the bride-to-be, he was happy for his friends, it was a bitter-sweet feeling.

“I’m so fucking nervous” Ben breathed as he watched himself in the mirror, straightening his vest for the million times. “What if she don’t come ? Maybe we planned our wedding too fast, maybe she is already far away and I’m gonna end up alone at the altar and–“

“Ben, relax, it’s just the wedding nerves which are talking” Joe put a friendly hand on his shoulder, smiling at him. “She loves you, it easy to see that mate, you and her belong together, she will come today, I promise you that” The red hair added with an emotional voice and Ben shook slowly his head, giving him a grateful smile.

“You’re right, she loves me and today we are going to get married” The blond took a deep breath then a sip of his neat whiskey – to calm his nerves but he was careful to not get drunk either – and readjusted his bow tie with shaky hands. He noticed how Joe discretely wiped his watering eyes and gave him a tight hug. “Don’t start crying now mate or I’m gonna cry too, I can’t go to the altar with puffy eyes” He joked with weak voice, making his best to swallow back his tears.

“I’m just so happy for the both of you” Joe replied with a sad smile. It wasn’t completely the reason for his tears but he wouldn’t never say the truth to Ben. “Let’s get you married, Jones”

"The future bride want to see you, best man" Lucy’s head popped up by the door and smiled fondly at Joe and Ben’s embrace.

"I’m coming" The red hair nodded and patted Ben’ shoulder. "I see you at the altar" He winked at the blond who chuckled lightly, still trying to shake out his nerves.

Joe followed Lucy in a long hallway until (Y/N)’s room. He took a deep breath before entering after the little blond, a bit anxious to see her in her wedding dress.

She was peering at the window, watching the guests walking to their seats for the ceremony. Joe’s breath itched in his throat at the sight. Now he was certain she never had been so stunning. Her white wedding dress was hugging her perfectly and wasn’t too classic, it was a true reflection of (Y/N) personality. She had a light makeup because I’m going to cry anyway! she had say to Lucy with an already glossy gaze. The little blond had left to check if everything was ready for the most important day of her friend. Joe had no idea for how long he stayed quiet, looking at her with pure wonder and so much fondness. The way her brows were frowning just a tad and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth were showing that she was nervous.

"You are beautiful" Joe breathed suddenly like he couldn’t keep it for himself anymore. (Y/N) jumped at the voice and turned around with a light giggle. "Absolutely perfect" It was probably the only day he could give her so deep compliments without seeming too desperately in love with her.

"Thank you Joe" She blushed and made a twirl on herself, making the red hair clapped. "You look good too, very nice suit" She smiled widely, her voice was sweating with excitement.

"Lucy said you wanted to see me ?" In a cheesy romcom it would be the perfect moment for (Y/N) to confess that she couldn’t marry Ben because she was in love with him instead. He would run away with her without a single hesitation, he didn’t care how mean that sounded, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But of course, that wasn’t the reason she called for him. Ben was the reason, her future husband and the love of her life.

"Is he okay ? Still want to marry me, right ?" Her fingers were fidgeting together as she sat on the sofa. "I’m so nervous"

"Ben is in the same state as you (Y/N). He is and I quote so fucking nervous that my ass is literally sweating, Joe, my ass is sweating!" The bride-to-be let out an airy laugh echoed in the room, her eyes glittering with adoration. "So yeah, he is nervous but he is very eager to marry you" Joe murmured, his gaze exploring every inch of her beautiful face, he didn’t want to forget this image.

"That sound like my Benny" She replied with a honey coated voice, her finger playing absent-mindedly with her engagement ring. Soon to be exchange for a wedding one. "I’m so excited Joe and so damn nervous too, what if I tripped on my way to the altar ? Oh my god, this is totally something that could happen to me !" She clasped her hand on her mouth with a loud gasp, her mind racing at the thought.

"I’m sure Ben would still marry you anyway" Joe chuckled and handed her a glass of bubbly champagne. She thanked him quietly and took a little sip, savouring the taste on her tongue. "I never saw you so stress before, you have no reason to doubt about your marriage" He gently rubbed her arm and she sighed deeply, her leg bouncing on the floor.

"I...I’m just...scared" She whispered, her eyes glued on the drink. "Sometimes I feel like Ben shouldn’t be with me, he is a freaking famous actor now and I’m still...me, the old and boring (Y/N)" She sniffled quietly before taking a bigger sip. "I’m afraid, one day he will notice that too, he could have any beautiful model or actress in the world but no, he is still with me and I know he loves me but...he could go for so much better" Her voice broke at the end of her sentence as well as Joe’s heart.

The red hair shook his head and grabbed her shoulders.

"(Y/N), look at me. This is bullshit okay ? Ben is crazy about you and in few minutes he will be waiting for you at the altar, you can’t think like that" She nodded slowly, her chest panting a bit with anxiety. "You are...I don’t even know how to describe how perfect you are, you’re funny and smart and incredibly caring, always brightening the room every time you step inside. And you are so beautiful, I wish you could see yourself the way I — the way Ben see you. He is madly in love with you" (Y/N) froze, blinking furiously and she wasn’t sure if Joe was really speaking about Ben anymore. The look in his eyes...she was sure he didn’t look at Lucy that way.

"Joe..." She didn’t know what she wanted to say or to ask, she was too confused right now.

Joe locked his gaze with her and saw the surprise in her eyes, he could see how she was wondering about his words, almost discovering his dangerous secret. And he never wanted to kiss her so badly before. Her pretty lips, covered in a light shade of pink, shinning and terribly inviting, seemed to call him. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. Instead he cleared his voice and stood up, placing his trembling hands deep in his pockets.

"Sorry I already took too much of your time, I need to go, Ben’s probably waiting for me" He gave her a fake smile and hugged her quickly. "You’re absolutely perfect for each other, stop doubting yourself, okay ?"

She nodded and watched him leaves, her mind clouded with questions. But Lucy came back right after, followed by (Y/N)’s dad and marrying Ben was the only thought floating in her mind.

The ceremony had been beautiful, in a little, cosy garden coated with flowers everywhere. It was like looking at a Disney movie and the bride and groom-to be were definitively looking like a prince and princess at the altar, both of their gazes glossy before the start. When (Y/N) had appear, Ben had gasp loudly, lips pinched together as he tried to shake away the tears. The first row of guest had let out a collective Aaww, all of them melting at the flustered Ben. The wedding symphony was echoing through the garden as (Y/N) walked slowly, her arm crossed tightly with her father’s, an adoring smile only destined to her future husband. Her cheeks were already soaked with tears, happy tears obviously. Joe, as well as Ben, didn’t look away from her for a split second, he couldn’t stop. For a minute it felt like she was walking to him, her glittering eyes looking at him and he smiled sadly, a shaky breath leaving his parted breath because he knew it wasn’t the truth.

That was almost the only thing he remembered from that night, booze helped him forget the rest. The vows had been so deep and sweet toward each other, promising eternal love then the kiss, loving and sweet one, sealing their union and putting definitively Joe out of the game. Which was a stupid thought really, because he never had been in the game to begin with, it always had been (Y/N) and Ben. He was just the idiot who was in love with the last person he should. He watched them all night, twirling together at the rhythm of the music, gazes locked with each other and smiling so widely, it was painful to watch for Joe.

"You’re okay Sweetheart ?" Molly plopped herself in his lap, throwing an arm around his neck as Joe was sitting alone, watching the others danced. He swallowed back a grimace at the nickname Sweetheart. He didn’t like it. The only time he loved it was during a drinking game, when (Y/N) and him were married —meaning they had to drink as much as the other did — and she had a lot of fun calling him Sweetheart during all the evening. Now, in Molly’s mouth, it just sounded stupid.

"I’m great" He replied before stealing another glass of champagne from a waiter. 

"That was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it ?" Molly sighed as she watched the bride and groom sharing a sweet kiss, both of them giggling like kids. "They look so happy together" Ben made (Y/N) twirled on herself before catching her and pushing her flush on his chest, rubbing their noses together.

He hummed in agreement and gave her a light peck on the lips, knowing she was waiting for that. She smiled and blushed before resting her head on his shoulder sighing softly. Joe knew he was very selfish in his relation with Molly, she was clearly into him and, well, him...was trying to forget (Y/N), it wasn’t nice from to not be honest with her but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth.

**

Joe needed to forget about his feelings, it was an emergency now. Ben and her were freaking married, it had to stop. He was decided to. That why he didn’t understand how he could have made the biggest mistake of his life during that evening.

"(Y/N), your tan look so good on you ! I’m super jealous !" Lucy gushed when they all arrived to Gwilym’s new place. "And no bra mark ? Someone had been cheekily topless during her honeymoon" She grinned at (Y/N) who blushed a bit but smirked anyway.

"Believe me or not, most of my clothes disappeared as soon as we arrived in Bali" she giggled and shared an intimate glance with her husband who wasn’t far, listening to the conversation.

"Was too hot for clothes, sunshine" The blond replied and stole a kiss from the newly bride who happily deepened it, making there friends whistled. "And with tits like yours, wearing a bikini top would be a total insult to your body, too pretty for that" He playfully smacked her ass as she gasped loudly, throwing him a shocked look which quickly turned a soft one when he kissed her again and murmured a low I love you.

"Well, I guess your honeymoon went more than great" Gwilym smiled affectionately at the couple, taking a sip of his beer.

"It was perfect" (Y/N) gushed with dreamy eyes as they all walked in the little garden. The weather was really nice and the sky clear, they all sat in the garden chairs, drinks in their hands. Ben made grabby hands toward his wife and she rolled her eyes but sat on his lap anyway. "Silly" She chuckled and nested her head against his neck.

Ben told everyone about the honeymoon, how the place was a real little paradise and Joe was pretending that everything was okay. But it wasn’t. He was ashamed but he couldn’t forget Ben’s words about (Y/N)’s nipples. His thoughts were going wild and it was fucking wrong, his gaze wandering few times on her top, which she was wearing without a bra, letting the shape of her tits visible. Joe swallowed nervously at the sight, cursing himself.

Most of the night went like that, good mood, few drinks and Gwilym ordered pizzas for everyone as they all told each other the last gossips of their respective life. Joe felt lonely. Gwilym was with his fiancée, an arm around her shoulders, Lucy and Rami was cuddling in the bench and (Y/N) was still on Ben’s lap, his arms wrapped around her waist. And Joe was all by himself as Molly had other plans for that night.

Before it was time to go, Joe was in the bathroom, not feeling great. His heart was broken, spending all the evening with the sight of (Y/N) and Ben glued together was painful. And he also had way too much drinks. Spinning head, slurred words and twisted stomach. Pathetic.

"Oh, sorry!" (Y/N) exclaimed when she opened the bathroom door and found Joe, bended above the sink, looking pale. "You’re okay Joe ?" She frowned her brows and entered the bathroom, taking a closer look at her friend.

"Fu...fuckin perfect" He hiccuped before splashing water on his face.

"Someone is very drunk" (Y/N) shook her head with a little smile. "Come on, let’s order you an Uber. We’re all leaving anyway" She slid an arm around his waist when he almost tripped on his own feet, trying to take a step forward.

They slowly walked on the long hallway and Joe was sweating, she never had been so close to him for such a long time. He could feel her breath on his neck and there faces were only few inches from each other.

"Wait, I...give me a minute, m’ not feeling great" He laid against the wall, his eyes closed and took deep breath, doing his best to not vomit. "Fuck, my head" He whined, everything was spinning around and he hated that sensation.

"Joe, are you going to throw up ? Should I get Gwil ? You look really pale !" She bowed her head a little, reached eyes level with him and looked at him through her eyelashes.

"I just need a second" Joe protested, his heart beating furiously in his chest at the closeness with the woman he was in love with. Her pretty eyes was making him weak on his knees and the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy, suddenly he wasn’t feeling so sick anymore.

"You’re sure ? You don’t look—" Joe couldn’t take it anymore and in a very stupid and drunk gesture, he grabbed her neck and crushed his lips against her.

**

Tag list :  @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 16

haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut

Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D

Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill​ and @ayoshi​) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3

Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??

It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some. 

Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19

That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019

Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!

Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun

@lumalinrose-sims​ said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--

thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P

@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims) 

not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then. 

Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!

thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3

Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.

fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)

Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name

Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)

Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me

well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3

Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.

If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.

Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?

About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.

Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!

Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon 

Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?

zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.

Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?

this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?

Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above

mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below  👹 😳

Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download   

Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that

Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!

@primadonnaliferiseandfall​ said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!

Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!

Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀

Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.

Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫

Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍

Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?

thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.

@graphicpickles​ said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"

hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not: https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb

Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review

because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗

@goddesssimmerina​ said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*

awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

AHarris00Britney

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics. 

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

yes ma’am now where is the comeback

- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks

see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk

[theexecutionerssong]

I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb! 

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

[incomprehensiblelentils]

I did not get around to this yesterday but, a short selection of fictional things that meant a lot to me over the last decade! ...it is going under a cut bc it is Too Long sorry lmao.

Books

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng: this book came out in September 2017 and I have read it four times already. It’s the kind of book I want to write but I’m not sure I’m clever enough to: every event and every character is so purposeful and you won’t catch everything the first time through. Every time I reread it I find something new to marvel at. I hope the Hulu series is half as good

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: this was the first piece of fiction I ever found with a family with a Chinese father and a white mother. This family is a lot less functional than my family, but I've read this three times because that means the world to me. 

Ash by Malinda Lo: I discovered this in 2011 and it was the first f/f novel I ever read, and as I would later learn, one of a handful with a happy ending at the time, particularly in YA fiction. For a long time, I reread it every time I felt hopeless. I just reread it again last month and it is still as beautiful and meaningful to me as in 2011.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: This is an Asian-inspired fantasy (becoming more common now, but still irritatingly rare) written by a queer Asian woman, with f/f. I think it is only the second one of these, after Ash? It is frustratingly rare, anyway. The worldbuilding is incredible also.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: We are getting more stories about biracial Asians, but they are still pretty rare and I treasure every one. This one felt so real to me.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth: The first half of this book captures so beautifully what it’s like growing up queer in a religious environment when you don’t even have the words or self-awareness to know what you’re feeling. This was another one I read over and over again when I was feeling low.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater: this is just a book for horse girls. I don’t know how else to describe this lol. I also feel like the romance is super downplayed until the very end, and honestly barely feels like a romance to me, so that’s refreshing!

Movies:

Pacific Rim (2013): I remember having this weird feeling when asked to give my top 3 movies once in high school, like maybe my favorite movie hadn’t come out yet so I couldn’t answer properly. I was right; this is the movie I was waiting for. This is my favorite movie. The feelings this movie gives me is the standard I hold all movies to.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): but Megan, didn’t this just come out? Yes, and it’s my other favorite movie now. I love (almost) every second of this movie. This movie made me feel a way that I thought maybe I might never feel again, after a certain other franchise movie this year took a dump on my heart. I don’t care that we’re never getting a sequel, we got this and that’s enough for me.

Thor (2011): Those of you who have been around awhile know that I really love this movie. I loved it before we all jumped on the Thor train after Ragnarok and I will continue to love it probably my whole life. It just makes me happy.

Aquaman (2018): This is Thor but underwater and with a biracial hero. It made me cry in the theater and I do not want to hear any negative opinions about it, I find them personally wounding.

Belle (2013): The fact that Gugu Mbatha-Raw isn’t a superstar is tragic, and this movie is gorgeous and lovely and made me feel a lot of things as a biracial person.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015): I remember seeing the trailer for this in the theater and going “yikes that looks like a thing I would never watch.” Joke’s on you, past me!!!! I find this a deeply stressful but glorious film that I can only watch like, once or twice a year.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): I do not need or want to hear about how this movie is Problematic, I know all of its issues, and yet. It brings me joy and it was one of the first movies I saw when I was just starting to break out of my religious upbringing and I laugh until I cry every time I watch it.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): I am starting to realize that I am not and never really was a Star Wars Fan, which is to say that like...I love this movie specifically, I love the characters, I love the interactions, I love the stuff that happens. I do not so much love Star Wars as a whole? I like it fine! But this movie is the only part of the franchise to really make me go “oh, I get it.”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This was a weird little movie that nobody saw and nobody talked about, but I adore it because it’s so gentle and romantic. I don’t know how accurate it is to history and frankly I do not really care.

Big Hero 6 (2014): are you tired of me mentioning I’m biracial yet? This movie has biracial protagonists and a cute squishy robot and no romance and superhero stuff and I love it so much.

F8: The Fate of the Furious (2017): I went to go see this on a whim with my wife and it was one of the most joyous theater experiences of my life. I don’t know, I just love everything about it.

TV shows:

Community: This only kind of counts because it started in 2009 but I started it mid-s2 so eh. Seasons 1-3 of this show are written on my heart, I can quote a ridiculous amount of dialogue from them and these characters will stay with me forever. Warts and all, this is my show.

Dollhouse: Another technicality but like, I met my wife because we both loved Bennett Halverson so I gotta put this on here. It’s pretty significantly affected my life! Also I find that it holds up fairly well, if you’re down for the admittedly iffy premise and an ending that’s a bit of a mess narratively due to sudden cancellation.

Agents of SHIELD: I would never claim that this show is “good” but I do think that it has mostly figured out what the hell it’s doing. And it has been a pretty significant part of my fandom life for the last 6 years, so to leave it off this list would feel wrong. It gave me Daisy Johnson, first canon biracial superhero as played by a biracial actor, and for that i will always be grateful.

Warehouse 13: I could not tell you why I fell so deeply in love with this dumb, badly written show that shit the bed in the final episode more spectacularly than I could have imagined, and yet I did! I think probably it is because I love found family so much, and also I find goofy camp charming more often than not. And of course, there is Bering and Wells, the femslash ship that fandom forgot. I will never be over how no one knows what we have suffered!!!!!

Runaways: wow was this a surprise! The Runaways comic is my favorite comic besides Marjorie Liu’s X-23 run, and this show has basically nothing to do with it, and normally that would piss me off but they got my kids’ personalities down so well and all of the actors are so perfect that I really can’t complain. And also, this show has canon f/f and neither of them die at the end! Which is...better than some other shows I could mention!

Doctor Who series 1 and 5: I had a very intense Doctor Who phase in college, and after all was said and done and I quit the show for a time, I realized that although I love a lot of the characters, and Thirteen’s run is pretty good so far, what I really loved was Nine’s run and Eleven’s first season. That is the show at its best to me. Eccleston is my Doctor and Amy is my favorite companion.

Legends of Tomorrow: Look, I am as shocked as anyone that this, the scrappy underdog of the DCTV lineup, is the one that’s most emotionally competent and has the best character arcs! But here we are. Season 4 was some of my favorite TV I’ve seen, uh, ever.

Albums

Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae: I listened to this for basically a year straight after it came out. It’s just ridiculously good.

Something Fierce by Marian Call: This was my on-repeat album in college. i drew a lot of strength from it, and I think that it’s still the best album to recommend to people who ask me about her.

Standing Stones by Marian Call: I heard most of these songs live at concerts before they were quite done yet, so it was really special to get to hear them all collected together like this. I’m going to get a tattoo with a lyric from one of these songs because no one’s quite been able to put my basic philosophy into words quite like Marian.

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara: Hot Take, I know, because a lot of people hate this album, but it was so affirming to go out and buy A Lesbian Album from A Lesbian Band in 2013.

The Rent movie soundtrack: I know, I KNOW, but in my defense, my parents got me this for my birthday my first year of college and I needed it so desperately. I can definitely still do “La Vie Boheme” from the beginning and probably most of the other songs too.

In the Heights OBCR: I can only listen to this when I want to cry, but it’s my favorite musical. I got to see the show in 2018 and it was incredible. I think it’s better than Hamilton and I can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Trouble by Natalia Kills: this album is really great and also it says fuck a lot, which I used to be very nervous about hearing or saying, and this helped immensely!

[my-miraculous-headcanons]

Metal Heart [TEXT VER.]

So, this was an AU that I had posted on my Twitter because I hadn’t known how to format it coherently on Tumblr. But it’s here now!

This AU was inspired when I listened to This Audio after having gone through an Astro Boy phase. I left it unfinished, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to write the story out, so you’ll find out the ending and the Ladrien plot later.

OKAY so https://maximilian-alexander.tumblr.com/post/181533777041/bassiter-something-about-us-by-daft-punk-except … this song inspired me to think up a Robot post apocalyptic AU with Marinette working in her little workshop and Chat Noir being the robot she created. A Ladrien ver. happens in the far future, after Mari grows old and dies blah blah blah

Mari makes a Chat Noir robot, but he doesn't have a built in suit or anything like that he just nakey lmao bc I want him to wear street clothes. Mari's in a post-apocalyptic world where machines have taken over and pretty much EVERYTHING is littered with trash and scrap metal.

She's lonely af and hey, turns out she's a genius with technology. (I also wanna point out this is partially inspired by Astro Boy.) She listens to that song while working on creating Chat Noir, stealthily hiding away from the outside world filled with murderous anti-human robots

Her attempt at making Chat Noir is a HUGE success, and she pretty much bawls tears of joy when he wakes up and looks around like an actual human being. He's not really a newborn, she programmed him with a healthy amount of maturity and worldly knowledge.

Chat Noir is very protective almost immediately. He's a robot in a 15 yo boy's body looking at this tiny 13 yo, lonely robotics prodigy, in a world where his kind would typically murder her at first glance. He doesn't understand it. He has human emotions. Mari's so nice.

Frankly, after two years of spending time with Marinette, he doesn't WANT to understand the other robots. He doesn't care. He thinks they're filthy and dumb. Mari's a gift, and if any of them come so much as a 50 foot radius near her he'll take his steel claws and SHRED THEM.

After those first two years of spending time together, Marinette's food supply runs short. She won't be able to make it another year with what they have. She'll be lucky if she'll make it for another month. Chat Noir runs on sunlight. He'll be fine. But... She won't.

Marinette is ready to accept her fate. She's happy her last two years on earth had been filled with childish duets, silly dancing, games, etc... She's glad she spent them with Chat Noir. He, on the other hand, is devastated. He doesn't want to be alone. He CAN'T be without her.

He starts going out frequently, scavenging for food he can find her. He rations out her food to make it last longer, even though she tells him it'll be useless. He's going mad— all the abandoned food marts etc have already been ransacked by other survivors. There's NOTHING.

He goes out farther. He travels into the danger zone, littered with machines and dead bodies. One machine catches sight of him, identifies his human-like body, and nearly destroys him. He comes back to Marinette with half the skin on his face melted off, showing the metal parts.

Despite how absolutely horrified Mari was of that incident, he keeps going out, farther and farther, destroying enemies along the way. He eventually takes out all the robots in the danger zone and is able to move past it— and he finally finds it. He finds what he's looking for.

Seeds. Plants. Soil, too. And unraided markets filled with canned foods. He stuffs as much as he can into a duffel bag he found laying around and comes back home. Marinette is surprised, and touched. She remembers back to when she used to garden with her mother. She teaches him.

Soon they have thriving plants with tomatoes, strawberries, etc. Soon they have a couple of fruit trees growing outside. Chat Noir is ecstatic. Marinette is happy, too, but she doesn't know how to tell him that this can't last. That eventually, she will die.

Be it starvation, dehydration, disease, or even being discovered by one of the machines outside, she will die. She won't make it to old age. She lets him have this moment, though.

She builds a new body for him a year later, this one a couple years older, about 17-18 years old. He loves it, he loves the fact that he'll /technically/ be able to grow with Marinette. She transfers his memories into the new body, and he takes a while trying to get used to it.

More years pass by, Chat Noir upgrades to another body, and things are comfortable. They still listen to that song Marinette was listening to when she first made him. It's her favourite. It's his favourite too, but mostly because it's hers.

Chat Noir starts finding other forms of entertainment, because Marinette is busy working on his next body and he already went on a raid for more nonperishable food. He finds an abandoned library and falls in love with science journals and, most importantly, romance novels.

His typical experience with humanity is almost solely based on Marinette. He had thought that, possibly, they were all the same. That they all were kind and fun and wonderful. Reading helped him realise that his initial presumption was mistaken.

People could be cruel. People had different quirks, and personalities, and different ways of going about certain situations. People even loved differently. There's platonic love, sibling love, parental love, and romantic love. He finds himself very interested in romantic love.

He wasn't all-knowledgable. He wasn't programmed with everything, only with the capacity to learn whatever he wished. He already knew about cuddling and hugs, at least— Marinette had mentioned that she had gone YEARS without being affectionately touched before she had made him.

Kissing was new, though. Holding hands was also new, they certainly never did that unless one of them was trying to drag the other somewhere. Sex was new, and very strange, but the way it's described in romance novels in comparison to health books made it sound intriguing.

It sounded intimate. He's surprised that there's ways to be even closer to someone than he already is with Marinette. He wonders if she'd be interested in a romantic relationship, although considering he was never programmed to know about it, he doubts it. He wishes, though.

Kissing, at least, he knew could be platonic. Pecks on the cheek, or on the forehead. He wants to do anything he could to get even closer to Marinette, to discover things about her that he didn't already know. The first time he kisses her cheek, she's surprised, but happy.

Kissing becomes a regular thing. Chat does it more and more frequently as days go by. Marinette has no idea where he learned it from, but she isn't complaining. A part of her is really happy that he chooses to do it, even though he isn't programmed to.

At some point Chat Noir is almost painfully aware that his feelings for Marinette are not at all platonic. He constantly wants to hold her, to sing to her, to cuddle her and kiss her and he fantasizes the image of her lips on his own. He's absolutely in love with her.

He has no idea what to do about it. He reads even more romance novels in hopes of some advice on how to win her heart. He makes the mistake of reading a shoujo manga. He comes back home and starts flirting with corny jokes and a fake rose and Marinette is dying of laughter

Chat Noir mopes for a long while after that attempt because he tried really hard to win her heart he DID okay, it's not his fault that Marinette obviously does not appreciate the fine art of humour and flirting

She slowly eases him out of his little self pity party by bribing him with video games. She absolutely decimates him in those games but he has to admit that he loves playing with her, especially when they work together on hard mode to defeat the computer AI.

He makes another attempt much later after reading a well-written romance novel. This one details a romantic dinner with a candle-lit atmosphere under the moonlight. He loves the idea, so he gathers up candles and fake flowers and a tablecloth. He finds two unbroken wine glasses.

He looks for a safe place on the surface where he'd be able to spot any danger at night. Marinette rarely ever ventures out in fear of being killed by a wandering machine. He doesn't want her to be scared on his romantic dinner date, so he needs to find the perfect spot.

He finds a place, a little far off but perfect. In the books he's read, it's called the Eiffel Tower. There's an apartment at the very top, and from the looks of it, it's been long abandoned. It used to be in the center of the danger zone, but Chat took care of that years ago.

It's safe and has a magnificent view. Mari would love it. He sets everything up, and even manages to find a bottle of aged wine in the luxury apartment. He also finds some music that he's never heard before, something by some guy named Jagged Stone. The ballad's his favourite.

He comes back home with a really wide grin and Marinette is super suspicious the entire time. He says that he's setting up a surprise for her and she's going to love it. She's wondering if he's read another shitty shoujo manga again and is a bit nervous.

Aaaand this is where I left off. That’s the end, folks! Sorry.

I still remember how this AU ends, which later becomes the beginning of the Ladrien version of this AU. It’s sad, but a happy kind of sad, if that makes sense? Spoiler alert— Both Chat Noir and Marinette live long, happy lives together.

Anyways, for once, I feel like this is an AU I don’t want anyone using without my input. I’ll always be in love with this AU, and I may very well write for it in the future. In fact, I have a clear vision on how I’d write both the Marichat version and the Ladrien version at the same time. It involves Adrien sobbing. Hehehe.

If you guys want the general outline on how everything turns up, and how the Ladrien spinoff fits in, just ask and I’ll make a separate post about it. I remember crying when I was daydreaming about it the first time I thought of it. It may be a tearjerker for some. 

[kvlcb-blog]

☕ . ˚ ◝ ( park junhee. cismale. he/him. ) kaleb “kj” jang is a twenty-four year old sagittarius. the dance teacher’s go-to order is iced green tea latte. they like to listen to circles by post malone while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are childish but swear they’re totally whole-hearted as well. maybe that’s why multicolored jumpers, trips to the arcade, inside jokes, and playful banters remind me of them. 

sorry to do this to ya’ll, but here’s another can full of trash. enjoy, ♡

trigger warning for abuse, both physical and alcohol.

if you like this, i’ll come bother you for plots with him. i’m also in the discord @ momochi#0913 if you wanna do things there. ♡

` BACKGROUND;

kaleb, who really prefers kj, was born in malibu, california and has been all around the state his whole life.

his parents were very laid back individuals, allowing the boy to be very free to do as he pleased - even as an only child.

his grades in school were always great and he was never involved in any trouble. maybe a minor thing here and there, but nothing that could have actually landed him with a criminal record. literally the most minor of things.

wasn’t always as loud and clownish as he is now. was once a shyer kid, but still pretty easy with making friends and getting along. was never disliked because he was just the sweetest of boys.

although his parents weren’t strict on him, the one thing they did want for him was to have steady job and be super successful.

if there was one thing they pushed on him, it was to make sure he attended college and land himself an amazing, well paying job that could keep him living a great life.

now, here’s where things went sour. 

around the age of 12, kj started showing lots of interest in dancing. it was always something he enjoyed and he could eventually be found around the local dance studios. all of his allowance was saved up to pay for part time lessons and his parents had no idea.

anther thing they pushed on him? saving money. something he wasn’t doing since he was giving his money to the dance studio for lessons.

he passed the form off to is parents as something for school they had to sign and, of course, they didn’t pay too much attention to it because kj new to give it to them to sign while they were in the middle of a party. smart boy got away with it.

he spent almost a year in the studio, learning way more than he already knew and was in total love.

one day, someone from the studio had brought his dance bag back home - the one he had forgotten. but he hadn’t arrived home yet, so when he finally did get back - whatta surprise.

his parents were furious. they scolded him and it got to the point where his father just couldn't handle it.

for the first time in his life, he’d seen a side of his parents that he never even thought he’d see. furious and enraged, his father started to strike him and it was much more than just a small spanking.

he was left battered and bruised by his angry father that he couldn’t even leave the house for  few days. he stood home from school so he didn’t have to explain why he looked the way he did. it was bad.

afterwards, his parents barely cared for him. after he explained it’s something he wanted t do when he was older, they gave him such cold shoulders. they couldn’t stand the thought of their only son being a dancer instead of like, i don’t know, president or something. 

from then on, any time he brought up dancing, he’d get abused. anytime they found him at the studio? he’d be left battered and marked up pretty badly. it was just something his parents were so against, they left no mercy for kj whatsoever.

he kept on hiding the fact that he would sneak to the studio, taking such a risk, but he couldn't’t help it. boy loves to dance.

` PRESENT;

to this day, kj still dances. he not only teaches, but competes from time to time. he mostly does hip hop or pop, sometimes a bit of ballet - but it isn’t his strong suit. either way, he’s talented and he’s well aware of it.

he lives alone, after finally settling down in an apartment not too far from deja brew. before that, he was all over california, trying to find a place to settle in. he might not wanna stick around for long, but convince him to stay, okay?

is doing well for himself, isn’t rich as hell, but is well taken care of.

is super distant from his parents. obviously.

the one habit he did develop was taking in excessive amounts of alcohol. 

at around the age of 14, kj began experimenting with alcohol which is so sad, but true. and even to this day, it’s something he struggles with.

there are times when his mind travels back to the abuse and practical neglect he suffered and he just. can’t handle it.

or when he becomes overwhelmed, he needs a bottle. or two. a mess.

can be found in the same hole in the wall bar that is barely hoppin most of the time, but for kj? a safe place.

kj does wanna try to reach out to his parents and make amends, but the last time he did - the abuse started again even at his current age, his dad will easily strike him without a second thought.

now, as much as he hates it, he usually avoid interaction with is parents and just. is like nah.

` PERSONALITY;

listen, boy is a clown.

kj is a total jokester.

has such a sense of humor, loves jokes and inside jokes and is just overall fond of laughter.

unfortunately, he uses his humor to cover a lot of shit.

his past? humor it. troubled thoughts? humor it. breakups? humor it. literally can make anything into a joke and has no problem doing it about everything in his life.

is not a healthy way to cope, but he doesn’t know how else to do so. he’d gotten so use to covering his problems with humor that it’s all he knows how to do in order to cope.

serous situations can be hard for him because ??? 

one good thing about kj is that he’s always willing to try.

( unlike my other two trash cans ) kj is super willing to learn how to love and open up.

isn’t closed off much or withdrawn. he doesn’t mind feelings or being involved or admitting to things. sometimes he may need help and patience, but he’d not the type to shy away or make it difficult. he will truly work on himself when he needs to. 

kj was always great in relationships. the only problem was how childish he can be. again, his coping mechanism is humor and that’s obviously not always acceptable when dealing with certain things. because of this, it doesn’t work out.

kj is well aware that he needs to work on it and always tries, it’s just really hard for him. but is still trying to improve.

kj as a friend? bitch please.

kj is such a friendly, smiley person. is always up for a good time, is basically the hype man of his group. 

pumps people up, gives them confidence, never says no. total hype man.

soft puppy on the outside, torn apart on the inside, mouth full of dirty jokes. this boy is all over the place.

` DEM FACTS;

loves the color orange.

is either in all black or super colorful, no in between.

wears glasses because he is bliiiiind. not totally, but needs them for real. wears contacts sometimes, but most glasses. he enjoys them for the most part.

loves a good inside joke. if he has an inside joke with you, you’re one of his best friends and there’s no question about it.

hair color? changes all of the time. but he doesn’t exactly do crazy colors. usually blonde or brown or black or a natural looking red. but it’s always changing, idk how he has hair.

loves throwback nickelodeon shows so much, as well as them disney ones.

although he’s such a clown, will enjoy a soft moment of a soft talk every once in a while. it’s rare to happen and takes the right person, but loves them. probably is in love with this person, honestly, who knows.

loves to go to clubs. mostly for the dancing. loves to go anywhere for the dancing. i mean, the drinking too. but the dancing.

bites his lip more than he talks bc it’s a habit of his. 

skincare routine is outrageous because he learned that with dancing comes sweating and with sweating comes breakouts so he’s so on top of it. js.

and that’s all i can think of?

his lots page is literally the same as suki’s and jae’s but i’ll link it HERE if you wanna take a look. and i am also very open to anything else, not to only what’s on that list!!