#jokes on you I considered us friends the second we became mutuals <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[klausthe-bae-ance]

Here's a picture of a newt I found in our basement, wanna be friends?

I am absolutely obsessed with that little guy, yes I would LOVE to be friends

[rcksmith]

Geniuses — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Hi! I am just the annon that recently sent the request 3,11,16 and 22. You asked what I wanted, I forgot to put that I got them from the “fluff” prompt list. I am so sorry!! And don’t worry! It’s not your fault I didn’t see the list 😂😂 but thank you so much! I really like your fics and your writing style so much! 🥺🥺💖💖”

Fluff prompts:

3“You’re staring again.”

11. “Wow- you look…amazing.”

16. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 16. “I heard that!” 1 .“You were supposed to!”

22. “well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

Haha love, it’s okay💖💖 i hope you like, because I really like to writing tis. Thank you for resquest. Love u❤️

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves/Fem! Reader.

Warnings: nothing, just bad words and fluff.

(gif not mine)

— — — — —

It was fun to think that Five never had an equal opponent, someone as smart, canny, sarcastic and ironic as he. Five Hargreeves was always used to being the smartest person in the room, always being the one with the quickest response on the tip of his tongue.

And, well, it was fun to think that it all went up in the air when you showed up.

You were cruelly intelligent, able to correct errors in Five's math equations, sarcastic and always had a cheeky smile on your face. You weren't used to being underneath, which is why when Five wanted to show that he was better than you, well, you wouldn't give up.

But unlike the time traveler, you didn't have super powers, you weren't extraordinary, you didn't have any skills, but that didn't stop you from being equal to him in every other way.

Whenever Five wanted to come out on top with the argument that he had powers and you didn’t, you raised an eyebrow, looked at him as if he had made a basic math mistake, and said: “I don’t need powers, I’m a genius, you should try to be one too.” And it made him furious, and, truth be told, you just liked to tease him too.

But just as the two of you had personality differences, the ability to handle emotions and people well was different from Five. You were kind, funny and wanted to make people comfortable around you. Being a genius didn't mean you shouldn't be a nice person, and Five usually forgot about it.

As you and Five spent more time together, it became clear that you two were no longer able to stay away from each other. Five liked (secretly) to have someone to really talk to. Someone that understood and followed his line of reasoning, that understood the equations he did, and that considered him a genius instead of crazy with some reasoning.

Being with you was like, for Five, meeting another human being in a dog-only world, and when he kind of told you that in other words, you laughed out loud and said: “Or how to find an equal sign in an equation.” And that's when he felt his heart pounding for you.

Five remembered when you beat him in chess for the first time, no one had ever done it before, and he agreed to play with the full awareness that he was going to win again. Well, that is not what happened.

When you checkmate his king, Five was stunned. He leaned over the board, looking at the pieces as if they had created a head. And you laughed, leaned back in your chair in a victorious smile.

“This is impossible.”

“it's actually just intelligence, why don't you use it now and then?” You were kidding, it was obvious, you couldn't stand hurting people and Five knew it. The dynamics of the two of you who were exchanging barbs.

“You must have stolen or something, this is very much your style” He returned, eyes on you as you laughed “Let's play again and I will give you a the most brutal defeat.”

“Well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead” You accepted, first because you wanted to show that you would beat him as many times as possible, and second because there was nothing you liked more than spending time with Five.

The matches started, and you won every time. And when the sunset and the breeze was cold, you and Five looked at each other, with the peach rays of the sun illuminating their faces, and the mutual smile they gave out sweetly.

He were really enjoy the game and you knew that, and he knew you not just want the victory. You two know Just more matches would make you spend more time together. And... Five didn't remember if anyone ever really engaged in a game just to want to be around him.

But things really got more real and serious when Vayna asked you to go to one of her violin performances too. And, well, you wore a long, red dress, firm in all the right places, and Five couldn't get his eyes off you just one second.

It was as if, when he saw you, all the equations in his life had been solved. And a single thought rang in his mind: “I want her”

And the certainty of that was absolute. He wanted you as an overwhelming force, which shook his whole body. He needed you like needed oxygen. And there was no way to deny that anymore.

But it all happened in a fraction of a second, and you had just chosen that moment to approach him and ask:

“So, how am I look? Are you going to make a little joke about berries or something?” You laughed.

But Five could think of nothing but that if there were the personification of sin and perfection, it would be you. He looked at you as a whole, a fucking beautiful woman with a fucking brilliant mind. You are incredible and he had no other adjectives for you.

“Wow- you look… amazing.” You felt all the intensity and truth in that sentence, and your heart pounded in your chest.

For, truth be revealed, you had dressed up for him. Because wanted him to think you were beautiful. Because you thinking him were a young God with all the vigor and beauty.

Five really wanted to focus on anything but you. Not In the swing of your body, in the outline of your lips, in how he wanted to put you out of that dress. He really tried. But his eyes were always drawn to you at the end of the effort, as if you were the only thing worth seeing.

“You’re staring again.” Luther whispered in his right ear, while Five kept his eyes on you for a moment that seemed to him seconds, but to Luther it was hours.

But who could blame him? You looked like a mirage, too beautiful to be true. And Five wanted to record every detail of it in memory.

“Take care of your life!” He replied, taking his eyes off you.

After that night, Five already knew that he could no longer keep his hands off you. He couldn't just look at you anymore when the hunger to touch you started to hurt physically. As soon as you got back to the mansion, he grabbed you by the wrist, in a strong, firm grip, and pulled you with him as he climbed the stairs towards his own room.

Five needed you. A kiss, a caress, a body-to-body contact, anything, he just needed it. And it had to be now, he not wait for you to go home and come back later, he couldn't wait days...damn it! He couldn't wait seconds!

Then he knocked and locked the door behind you when you entered the his room.

“What the hell?” You rubbed your wrist that he must not have measured how much firmly him hold you “You're acting like a nut and I thin ...”

But Five didn't give you time to continue. He couldn't give you time. He could not explain something that for him was still a mess. So he showed you.

Five came to you in big, determined steps, and he fit your face in his hands before tilting and sticking his lips to yours. And then the world seemed to make sense for the first time.

Everything was suspended. The people, the rotation of the earth, the wind, the noise of the streets. Everything went into a black hole and was no longer important. The only thing that really mattered was you. And Five kissed you until the oxygen was strictly necessary.

“I have been waiting for this for some time.” You confessed, and Five blew out a low laugh, answering you with another kiss that ended up taking you to a bed and messy sheets.

After that night, Five became more attached to you, and the relationship grew stronger over the weeks.

“You know this is wrong, right?” You said as you took a look at the equations he had made that afternoon.

Five looked at you with a frown, irritation in his eyes, but you were trying to contain your laughter.

“You have nothing else to do no?”

“Besides seeing your accounts wrong? No.” You had fun, taking one of the white chalk Five was using and erasing an equation from it, redoing it in the right way.

You could feel his gaze on your back, but you did your best not to laugh and return the chalk complacently.

“Now it's right.”

Five looked at the account you redid, and gave you an expression of so few friends that you couldn't control your laughter anymore.

And his expression closed even more. You shook your head and were already on your way to the door when when you heard him mumbling:

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

Then you laughed even harder and turned to Five, who had been doing his math again on the walls of his room.

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!” He countered without even waiting a second, and then you came back towards him, the laughter still present in your voice, your eyes full of play and love.

You put your arms behind his waist, still with the remnants of laughter coming from yours lips, and leaned your head against his broad back.

Five felt and heard your laughter, and then controlled himself not to laugh too, before giving yours hands that were hugging his waist a few gentle pats.

“You are unbearable.” You mumbled, but full of love overflowing with the words “But I love you.”

Then Five laugh came and he exchanged pats for an affectionate affection on yours hand, signaling that he also found you unbearable, but that he loves you.

[seraphdarlimg]

wish I were...

after Harry kisses reader, she watches him mesmerized as his ex walks by

‘heather’ by conan gray WARNINGS - ANGST. WORD COUNT - 2,109

A/N: this is the first imagine I’ve ever posted on here hehe. but this most likely will be a 2-3 part mini series of pure angst...so yay!

____________________________________________________________

   "My goodness, I can't believe it's been a year and this is how we're celebrating it? " I take a sip from my wine glass with a raised brow towards Harry. We were sat on the floor at the recording studio, having a makeshift little picnic to celebrate a year. A whole year of a beautiful friendship. "Well I thought it'd be fitting, ya know this is where we met and stuff. Look, I even got those Korean chips that you snacked on that day!" I laugh as he comically picks up a chip and places it in his mouth, followed by an exaggerated moan. I try to hide the blush rapidly heating up my face at how much effort he put into this silly thing. It started as a little joke I brought up to him one day when we were having a lazy day, and of course Harry would take it seriously. He planned the little picnic basket after a day in the studio when everyone else left and he had asked me to stay a little longer to help him with lyrics and whatnot. It was a complete surprise and I couldn't help but adore how happy and proud he was setting this up. 

"Alright I gotta give it to ya H, you are the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. I'm just happy that you didn't include those disgusting kale chips of yours." The smile that hasn't left his face drops into a shocked and offended look. 

"Hey, you said you wouldn't make fun of my addiction anymore." He scoots closer to me, gently poking my rib to which I immediately jump and swat his hand away. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry!" I giggled when he makes himself comfty sat right next to me. 

Subconsciously, I move closer till his shoulder touched mine. "I like this sweater, it's fluffy and keeps people warm." I say, huddling into the fabric that Harry gave me to wear when it got colder. "You know what, I like all your sweaters H, they're all impeccable."   He chuckles, "really? It looks better on you than me, bubs." I smile, using the over-sized sleeves to cover my face and faking a groan. "Oh you would with that cliché ass line."  "It's true! Beautiful in m'clothes." He mumbles and I had to only respond with gratefully lending my shoulder as a resting spot for his head. Considering he literally had to bend his whole body to do so every time he does this, I never understood how he found this comfortable. We shared a comfortable silence for a minute, sipping on our wine, the bottle nearly finished. The courage coming from it is telling me this would be the perfect time. It's the right setting to finally tell him that my feelings go beyond friendship and that it has been since the first month. The thought made me nervous at first, but there had been so many signs from him that had me thinking he's feeling the same way. Maybe those were just my expectations and how loving Harry is, but every time I look at him, I'm mesmerized. "Honestly don't know what I'd do without you bubs." Harry suddenly says and I snap out of my thoughts to glance down at him staring at his empty glass. My heart started beating fast and my breathe hitched when he pulls away only a few inches away to look back at me "This was a tough year and you've been there with me through it all, haven't been this close to someone in that short of time." He says lowly, looking right into my eyes. I take his hand in my small ones and play with his fingers in comfort, as we reflected on how this was both the best and worst year for him. While he became such a successful solo artist after the band and created the best relationships in his life, he reached a mental low dealing with his own insecurities and went through a breakup that took a major toll on him. They ended on good terms, but Harry went through the aftermath of a loss alone. I came in a month after his break up, hired as a lyricist to help him get out of this creative block but also to help him realize how much he was really worth as a person. It was a gradual slow process of friendship at the start, but it quickly blossomed into becoming best friends, growing feelings in between for me. "You're so good to me, I don't deserve it." He was so close and I couldn't tell if I was leaning in or not. My chest feels like it's bursting. "Harry, you've done so much for me, don't put yourself down like that. You deserve my love, mkay?" He looked so vulnerable, staring into my eyes as I couldn't pinpoint what emotion he was feeling right now. I was always able to read Harry easily, but maybe it was the wine that made it harder to understand what was racing through his mind. I couldn't register it. His lips on mine were foreign but felt right, like they fit perfectly. His hands cupping my face gently made me realize this was actually happening. My best friend who I've loved for so long was finally kissing me. "You absolutely deserve mine... "                                                        ***    My anxiety was getting the best of me. The party wasn't like any other rowdy and crowded New Year's Eve celebration. It was a gathering of close friends and mutual at a penthouse with just enough drinking and fun shenanigans. I knew all these people and they knew me, yet it wasn't easy to breathe regularly for some reason. I smiled and laughed along with the conversation among the circle of friends I situated myself in with Harry standing to my right, two people in-between us. I anxiously played with my fingers wrapped around a bulbous wine glass, zoned out but somewhat participating with the group. I caught his eyes, both of us giving a smile when he shot me a quick goofy face. His eyes trailed down to my hands, an obvious tell. I respond with a reassuring smile, placing my hand on my chest to which he steps outside and moves to stand next to me. I soften as he places a hand casually on my back, rubbing up and down. The nerves die down a bit. Usually, I would of been full comfortable but it was different now. After the kiss Harry and I shared, nothing had changed as much as I wanted it too. There was still the casual flirting and touchy gestures, but other than that, Harry never brought it up. "Soo, what now?" I had asked him when he dropped me off at my apartment. He gives me a tight smile and takes my hand in his, bringing it to his lips. "Still my best girl." I was confused afterwards, not fully understanding how he felt towards me. "Hey, I kind of wanted to talk to you about yesterday... " I approached him in the studio, his sweater keeping me warm that morning. "Oh yeah, you never told me what you wanted for Christmas. And by the way, I'm gonna need that sweater back sooner or later." He chuckles, going back to writing down chord progressions. Him avoiding the subject made me think he didn't want to talk about it, so I stopped trying. It made me insecure a bit to show him any type of affection back, but I didn't have it in me to tell him when I'm engulfed in his huge frame, feeling safe and happy at the moment. What made me snap out of my thoughts was his hand leaving my back and slipping into his jacket pocket. He then started being part of the funny story Mitch was telling, including his own side and little comedic comments that made the group laugh. As much as it brought a smile to my face, there was nothing more I wanted to do than take his arm, wrap it around me and kiss his cheek before laying my head on his chest. He took a second here and there to glance at me, probably aware how tired i was getting even though it was only a few minutes before midnight. The kiss defiantly affected something here, as much as Harry was trying to show that it hasn't, I can at least appreciate the acknowledgment that he shared similar feelings towards me. Maybe this was him thinking about the possibilities afterwards, knowing Harry wasn't very much a confrontational person and has taken time to learn to process things more logically rather than pure emotional instinct. When he catches me staring and throws a knowing smirk followed by a wink, I melt right on the spot but at the same time, holding back from rolling my eyes. I felt his stare kept on me when I looked away, feeling less frustrated and more understanding of his situation. Maybe I do just need to give him time... When I looked back at him, he was now looking away at something else apart from the group. I didn't give it a second glance till I noticed he was fully distracted before Mitch kept calling his name but getting no response back. Harry was in deep trance at something more fascinating than his friend's story, and when I caught sight of what was distracting him, I fully understood why. She stood out, so it wasn't to hard to point her out. But of course she would, she looks stunning in that dress that happens to only be a different shade of color from mine. The natural glam and brightening smile on her face as she talked to mutual friends perfected her look, but it was the sound of her melodic voice that just set the deal. It was her laughter from across the room that caught his attention first, what made him break his gaze on me to her. My first thought was concern for Harry and if he was suddenly feeling overwhelmed or distraught by her presence after a breakup. But then I looked back at him and only saw longing and adoration. It was a look I only was recently familiarized with. I purse my lips to hide the frown set on my face while I felt my heart beat much faster initially, watching him mesmerized as she walks across the floor to greet more party guests. Her blue eyes wide and shining, most likely something Harry was dying to see once again as he hoped she would turn his way. Is this what hopelessness feels like? Mitch gave up on trying to catch his attention as soon as he realized who Harry was looking at, and so did the rest of the group. But here I was, desperately looking up at him in hopes that he would suddenly break away and meet my own eyes that stood right next to him. "Guys! The count downs about to start!" Someone called out, followed by cheers and applause as everyone slowly started gathering towards the balcony to see the firework show and celebration of the city below. She moves away from the crowd though, choosing to be semi alone next to the aquarium with a glass of martini in her hand. More people started crowding around us, the group disintegrated into a whole, but my focus was on Harry. As much as my anxiety and tiredness was getting worse, it couldn't compare to the ache in my chest when he takes a hesitant step towards her direction. In a second, my hand flies towards his and gently tugs to me in a last ditch of desperation while I softly call out his name. Maybe it was the way he stopped and turned his head slightly before completely pulling away and walking towards her, leaving me engulfed with the crowd alone. Or that I could picture the loving look on his face when she finally sees him approaching and gives him a welcoming smile while the sound of people counting down from 20 is muddled into the background. All I could imagine to hear was his small 'hi' and compliment for how beautiful she looks, knowing how nervous he would be. "3, 2, 1! Happy New Years!" The celebration of those around me drowned out my glossy eyes as I see Heather take Harry's hand in hers, sharing that same complete adoration look on her face that I was only just becoming familiar with.

_____________________________________________________________

part 2 A/N: feedback would greatly be appreciated :) 

[probsjosh]

Just a Bit More

Three times you were out here flirting with Sapnap on stream and the fourth time when ya'll straight up confessed to eachother

AKA Flirtationship but with a lot of Mutual Pining

Sapnap × GN!Reader

No warning! All fluff :)

@svgarbees I love your writing challenge bro <3

-----------

The first time Sapnap had met you it was very briefly, as George had been placed on your team for MCC and Sapnap had come into the discord call to taunt him just before the games began. 

"Well if it isn't Team Bottoms."

The second the taunt was out in the open air, a roar of protests came from George and Antfrost. BadBoyHalo sat in some confusion, "Bottoms? Bottom of what?" was all he asked, and after he didn't receive an answer, he shrugged it off and quickly muted to talk to his chat. You, however, were practically wheezing, desperately trying to get air into your lungs as you laughed at Saps opening line, causing the other three to pause their bickering long enough to ask if you were alright. "I'm fuckin' great- I don't know who you are dude, but I think I already love you." 

Sapnap laughed lightly as his face turned a light shade of pink, "If you liked that one so much I have a lot more where that came fro—" He was cut off mid-sentence as he was kicked from the call back to his own teams vc. 

"We are not 'Team Bottoms'," George scoffed out, as the MCC timer got to zero.

"George. We totally fuckin are," You laughed out as everyone rushed inside.

"Language!" 

~

The second time had been when George invited you to play Proximity Chat Among Us on stream after realizing they didn't have 10 people to play a full game. You two had actually hit it off really well during MCC and stayed in contact afterwards, but this was the first time he had invited you to play anything with his group of friends.

After happily agreeing, you received the game code and joined the vc, only to be greeted with George desperately trying to tell everyone to shut up for just one second and Sapnap loudly arguing that George wasn't the boss of him. It was only after you'd joined the game and let out a soft, "Hello," did he shut up.

"Oh-" Was all Sap could get out before George cut him off, "Yeah 'oh', that's what I was trying to tell you. Everyone this is y/n, y/n this is everyone," 

There was a chorus of greetings as everyone welcomed you to the soon to be shitshow. The smile on your face didn't fade once the entire time, being able to properly introduce yourself and crack jokes with everyone once you were in game. The one person you weren't surprised to see you were getting along with amazingly was with Sapnap, immediately remembering him from your first unofficial meeting.

"So you think I'm a bottom Sapnap?" you questioned as you caught him in a room by himself. "I- uh- why? Are-are you a bottom?" He asked, a hesitant grin on his face, he wasn't sure what boundaries he was pushing, but he was certain he was toeing the line. Luckily for him, you let out a laugh before you teased him, "Wouldn't you like to know." Suddenly feeling more confident in himself he hummed before teasing right back, "I mean, with your consent, I would." 

Your laugh sounded out as you tried and failed to stutter out a response when someone walked into the room and yelled, "George! Sapnap is flirting with your friend!" They ran away yelling for George as Sapnap laughed and ran away,  chasing after them, "Don't snitch on me you bitch!" 

You stood there in the middle of the room giggling as Sapnap quickly ran back into the room, "If George asks, I'm totally telling him you hit on me first." 

"Okay sure, Mr. I'd Like To Find Out If You're a Bottom," You both laughed as a body was reported and you were thrown into a meeting.

From that moment it had become a running bit for you two to needlessly flirt with eachother at any given moment, and by the end of the stream every chat was filled with debates on what the ship name should be. 

After saying your goodbyes and leaving for the night, you sat in your chair thinking about Sapnap, and trying to ignore the butterflies in your tummy as you thought about every exchange you'd had with him that night. 

~

The third time had been the first time you logged on to the Dream SMP after George had very sweetly asked Dream to whitelist you, because he missed playing the Craft with someone he now considered a close friend to him. 

At first it was just George and yourself sitting in a call as he gave you a very messy tour of the world that consisted of a very bad history lessons of the lore. "I'm not very involved in the storyline so I don't really know what happened," George explains as he leads you over to the now crater of L'Manberg, "But I do know that, canonically, Dream is crazy." 

The familiar sound of someone joining the call sounded out, followed by a very familiar voice, "George, Dream is crazy both in game and out, you give him too much credit." 

There was soft laughter before you spoke, "Sapitus Napitus!" the happiness in your voice evident, and George chuckled, "What? You miss your boyfriend?" Despite how flustered you'd gotten you managed to bite back, "What? Jealous I got a boyfriend before you did, Georgie?" 

Sapnap joined in as well, "Yeah Georgie, at least we have a significant other for Valentines day. Not our fault you broke my boy Dreams heart by turning him down." 

We all laughed at that as Sapnap joined the game as well as the tour. At first, it had seemed like you and Sap had fallen back into your endless flirting to annoy George but after a while it just became a casual thing between the two of you, compliments and innuendos being tossed between the two of you.

All three of you had actually become really comfortable with one another over the course of the accidental five hour stream. So comfortable in fact that before you left to end your stream George sent you off with a final tease, "Of God, I'm never gonna hear the end of this from either of you am I?" You and Sapnap glanced at each other in game before turning to George, "What do you mean, Gogy?" Sapnap asked carefully, as he slowly scrolled through his hotbar to pull out his sword. George, oblivious to this, continued, "I mean you two blabber on and on about each other to me all the time, why don't you two just talk about how much you like each other to each o–" George cut himself off with a scream as Sapnap went after him with the intent of murder. 

Before you could fully process the words that had come out of George's mouth, you phone pinged, alerting you that you needed to end stream. "I'm sorry guys, I gotta go, I have something I need to do." Both boys stopped in their tracks to give you a proper goodbye, "Bye, message me when you're free again," George said innocently as he crouch walked away from where Sapnap stood turned towards your character. "Or you could message me–" Sap said, the cheeky smile on his face falling as George teased him again, "Yeah you wish, Snapchat." 

And with that Sapnap returned to his assassination attempt as George screamed for his life. You laughed before mumbling a goodbye and leaving both the game and the call.

After ending stream you walked over to your bed before falling face first into the mattress and screaming. 

George really had to out you like that huh?

~

The fourth time was just a couple days after the third. You had been streaming for a little bit, your first grind session on the SMP to get yourself started, when George entered your voice channel and startled the hell out of you. 

"HI y/n!" he greeted innocently as you yelped, hitting your desk and nearly spilling your water everywhere. "George! Dude, you have to stop scaring me like that," you tried to scold him but your laugh broke your angry facade. "Sorry, sorry, I hadn't meant to scare you- hey is Sapnap online right now?" 

"Um," you glanced over at your chat briefly before pressing tab, "Yeah, he's online, why?" You didn't receive an answer as George disconnected from the call abruptly. "Wow okay, rude." was all you commented before returning to entertaining your chat as you mined away. 

A couple minutes later you were startled yet again as George reconnected, immediately letting out a loud yelp, as a skeleton shot you simultaneously. "George!" you panicked as you swiped your sword at the skeleton, going down to threw hearts before finally killing it. "I'm sorry! I don't mean to scare you, I just wanted to tell you that Sa–" He disconnected again mid-sentence, this time your curiosity was peaked. 

"If George reconnects and scares me one more time, I'm flying to his country to kick his ass." You laughed as your chat began speculating what he wanted to tell you, and clipping your scared reaction.

It was peaceful for a while, you had been caving with not trouble, but eventually you ran out of food and needed to resurface. Unfortunately for you, a loud ping from Discord sounded out, distracting you long enough for a creeper to sneak up behind you and kill you before you had a chance to react. "George I'm buying a plane ticket to go kick your ass, I swear to..." a soft laugh makes you trail off. "Well, I'm not George, but I'd love to see you kick his ass," Sapnaps voice rang out and you slapped a hand over your mouth. 

"Fuck, sorry, sorry Sap, George has just been coming in and out of the vc and scaring me" You clicked respawn and began running back to your things. "Yeah, sorry about that, I kept pulling him out of there because he's trying to embarrass me." 

"Embarrass you? How?" You found the cave you had gone down and made your way to your things. 

"Well, um, he- where are you? On the server I mean." It was a bit odd to you that he was stuttering this much, he was usually very confident in himself, but you made no comment on it. 

"I'm in a cave getting my things back, I'll put my cords in chat, I'm not far from my house," You gathered your things before quickly typing into chat, and running to the mouth of the cave to get back home.

There's a beat of comfortable silence as you emerge seeing Sapnap running towards you in the distance. 

"Hi, hello!" You crouched at him once he'd gotten close enough. He giggled and answered back, "Hi," as he crouched in return. 

"So why's George trying to embarrass you?" you asked making your way back to your house, Sapnap following close behind. "He keeps saying some bullshit that I don't believe, so I've come to just- just ask you." 

Your stomach began to fill with butterflies, but you shot down your hopes and tried to keep a level voice, "Oh? What have you come to ask me, Mr. Sapnap?" You opened the door to your house and entered to turned around to face him once more.

He crouched his character and took a breath, "George has this idea that when we- when we flirt, it's not just a bit. And, I just wanted to ask you," he comes closer a bit, as your air catches in your throat, "is it just- do you see it as just a bit?"

'Because I don't,' the words die on his tongue, not wanting to sway your next words.

You sat for a second, thoughts going a million miles a minute as you finally find the will to say, "Sap, I–" 

"Its okay if you do, I mean yeah, like if thats how you see it then that's how I see it too, yknow? I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything and the last thing I want to do is ruin the friendship we just started like a week ago, and I–" His nervous ramblings are cut short when you hit his character, a smile finding its way onto your face. 

"Sap, we really need to start letting people finish their fuckin sentences," you laugh, your nerves building again but you decide to say fuck it and push through before you chicken out, "I was going to say… I don't know if it's just a bit or not but, if you're okay with it… I wouldn't mind taking the flirting a bit more seriously?" A nervous smile settled on your features, the butterflies in your stomach going wild, as you waited for his answer. 

Another beat of silence as Sapnap gathered his scattered briancells to finally form a coherent thought. "I- yeah, yeah, I'd love to," a relieved laugh turns into a genuine one after he realizes, "Oh my god, George was right." 

You grin, nerves now mostly gone, "Motherfucker really was tired of our bullshit, huh?" Easy laughter flowed between you two before another Discord ping rung out.

George had joined the call, presumably to gloat about being right, but instead: "Hey uh, y/n? You do realize you're still streaming, right?"

[scandeniall]

actually, i’m dating iwa

iwazumi x reader, but mostly (?) platonic!Oikawa x reader

i just really love college au’s and tried to combine with youtuber!au. Also this is my first time writing for a character other than Kuroo and my 3rd time ever writing hq so yeah this probably fucking sucks

-----.

“Filming a video with the bestie. Send us questions,” you put up a peace sign not even looking up from your phone as oikawa flashed his camera at you for his Instagram story. You’d done a similar post hours ago for your own followers supposed to have filmed hours ago. A head plopping itself caused you to quickly finish your text before tossing your phone on the table in front of you. “Ugh where’s Iwa with the pizza. I’m starving,” the brunette groaned from beside you after you tried pushing his head off of you to which he just continued to put more of his weight on you. “Move your big ass head Oikawa,” you cried out still trying to push the man child off of you. “No because you never spend time with me anymore now that you’re-“ he dramatically huffed “Dude I’m literally with you everyday” It was true. The two of you had been practically inseparable for the past few years. Meeting at summer orientation right before both your first year of college, he noticed you doing the same thing he was. Vlogging, and thus the start of a beautiful friendship. Now in your last year you two have practically grown your social media together, collaborating with him more than you had anyone else (same for him). Hell, you two even lived together for a year before you decided you couldn’t take anymore of the asshole both never cooking and using up all the hot water with his long ass showers. “First of all it’s more like every other day. Second of all where is your stupid boyfriend? The sun is gonna go down before he gets back here. You know i hate filming with ring lights” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at him referring to his best friend as “your stupid boyfriend,” knowing if Iwa heard that Oikawa would be the first one to start running to avoid a hit. The two of you had met through Oikawa. It was midway through freshman year, Oikawa had invited you to his dorm for a study session for the gen ed class you two shared. He failed to mention that his roommate was there taking a nap, and that your loud ass drum beat knocking woke him up. You were absolutely mortified and continued to apologize, literally wanting to kill Oikawa. That was one thing you two had in common and that night not only did he have a grouchy sleep deprived roommate, but an annoyed you to deal with as well. You heard a slight struggle at the door before raining your neck to see that Iwaizumi had managed to make it in, holding pizza and other bags. “Go help Iwa put the stuff down,” you scolded your friend as he watched with amusement as the man struggled balancing the pizza boxes with one hand and the plastic store bags with the other. Once seeing Oikawa just shrug and rest back against the couch saying something about ‘being too hungry to move, before picking up his phone and typing away’ You huffed and got up yourself. Your boyfriend shot you a grateful smile as you took the pizza from him so that he was able to place the bags down safely. “Hey Haji- what's all this. Thought you were going to get pizza,” you said softly leaning against the counter as he began to empty bags. “Just a few snacks for you guys. Thought you two could make the video a mukbang. Although I’m not sure why I did, considering Shittykawa is here to eat some.” Your heart swelled as you both ignored your whiny friend across the room. You just wanted to hug your boyfriend and so you did. Before you could place your lips against his, said whiny friend had gotten his ass off the couch. “Can you two not fuck on my kitchen counter,” as he maneuvered around the tiny kitchen to start getting his food together. “Pretty sure I live here too,” your boyfriend scowled pressing a quick kiss to your temple before letting go of your waist and going to set up the camera for yours and Oikawa’s video. “Also, who’s to say we haven’t already,” you decided to tease, pushing past Oikawa lightly bumping into him. “Remind me to bleach every surface in here later on. Nasty bitches,” “Love you too Tōru” “How is it not living together anymore?” you read out. Already smiling at a chance to drag oikawa. “Fucking amazing! I get to come home to my food not eaten and I actually can get hot water when I’m trying to shower. I-“ “Oh you actually shower? Could’ve fooled me,” “Says the man who always used my expensive body wash,” you retort back looking off camera to pout at Iwaizumi laughing at the two of you. To the camera it would just look like you were refusing to look at Oikawa, not making puppy-dog eyes at your boyfriend. “Yeah because you don’t. Stinky” --- “What’s your favorite thing to do together? “Nothing because I hate this bitch-“ you deadpanned. The room going quiet before you, Oikawa and off camera Iwaizumi started laughing. “I’m kidding I promise. But I’m gonna let Oikawa answer this because he definitely knows what I’d say.” “It’s because we’re the same person. Twin-telepathy. But I’d have to say our monthly road trips with Kuroo and Bokuto. It’s the best time to unwind with my best friends and it’s always fun finding new places and we love taking you guys along with us. Special shoutout to the man, Iwa who gets all of the b-roll and actually records the chaos. Iwa! Speaking of him- he’s actually home for once and is watching us film. Aren’t we pretty,” you watched your best friend recount laughing when Iwaizumi says loud enough for the camera to hear that he isn’t. “Come say hi to the video,” Oikawa begged, deciding to record Iwaizumi on his phone to insert in later. “Oi! Get that camera off of me Shittykawa”

----

“Alright guys. We’re gonna do one last question. Tōru, take it away,” you smirked already knowing the question he was gonna pick. “Are you and (Y/N) dating?,” Oikawa read out, picking up his bottle of beer to take a swig while looking at you with a teasing smile on his lips. “Whew that’s an interesting question.   You wanna take that one (Y/N)?” For years the two of you never answered that question. At one point it was genuinely because you two had a crush on one another and while you never became more than just friends, there had been a thing there. After that passed you two just always played off one another for videos, knowing people loved it. Once you and Iwaizumi started dating the more flirty actions had stopped, but that still never stopped people from assuming. You two were almost always with one another, after all. You had been sharing relationship memes on twitter and even let it slip once that you had a boyfriend on Snapchat(although the audio was a little hard to hear as you’d said something like “i can’t find my boyfriend,” in a loud bar. And, to top it off you had recently posted a video of you getting ready for a date night. To anyone that kept up with you all the signs pointed to oikawa However, no one ever paid attention to how in the background of Kuroo’s vlogs how you and Iwaizumi always walked a little slower behind everyone else. No one thought anything during the last vlog with Bokuto when he captured you and Iwaizumi in the middle of the freezer aisle joking about which ice cream was best for root beer floats. Or how you and Iwaizumi would always be standing closer than you should in Oikawa's bar night videos. Of course Iwa’s hand resting on your lower back, occasionally slipping lower had never been caught on grainy phone cameras. “Well,” you took a deep breath. The three of you knew you were going to announce your relationship today but for some reason you were still nervous. Your relationship was one of the only things about your life you didn’t plaster on the internet. Iwa was definitely not one to be all on the internet, despite all of his friends being on there in the open. Not only that, but you were concerned about comments saying you’d been using Oikawa for views or leading him on or any of the crazy shit people come up with. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Oikawa lightly punched your arm offering you a comforting smile. “First of all, no. We aren’t dating-“ you started off. “Don’t forget to add it that you had a crush on me a few years ago” “It was mutual you dumbass,” you huffed. Loosening up. Knowing this half of the video was going on your channel you spoke up again. “As I said. Me and this dumbass are not dating. We’re-“ you pretending to gag, “genuinely best friends.  The love I have for Tōru is absolutely not romantic. However I am in a relationship and you can say that I met him through the idiot next to me.” “Babe you wanna come over here and officially be introduced as my boyfriend to the internet,” you called out. Oikawa mocking you “Yeah babe. Come in for a second.” Before you could even retort you notice your boyfriend signal to you and ducked as you saw a couch pillow fly towards the side of Oikawa’s head. “OW! Iwa that hurt. And stop laughing at my pain (Y/N),” Oikawa cried out. Ignoring your friend you looked up to Iwaizumi leaning over the edge of the couch in the camera's frame, lips hovering next to your ear. “You did it. Now people can stop shipping you with him.” Iwaizumi places two kisses on you for the camera. One on your cheek, the other on the side of your neck before looking up. “Hey,” and with that he was up and out of frame. “You guys see how he didn’t even acknowledge me. Just (Y/N). So rude” “Shut up Oikawa,” you and Iwaizumi said at the same time. Right before the camera cut off i stopped here bc idk what i was even doing because this turned out nothing like my initial idea. idk request if you want and i might give it a try. Also adding pt 3 to college!kuroo soon. 

will be cross-posted on ao3

[tartareus]

Do you condone/ship incest? I was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. Except Incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction

hi there, friend, how do you do?

while i'm not particularly fond of anons (nex time you'd like to discuss something regarding my rules and/or character portrayal, i strongly encourage you to do so via ims - i don't bite, and if our points of view don't quite match? that's alright, i promise i'll leave you in peace :) ) for various reasons, i'm so glad you've read my rules (that probably makes you one of the few who follow me - at least i presume you do, idk - who has done so, so thank you so much!), i cannot stress enough how important they are to me. if i happen to follow you, rest assured that i have read yours (unless, ofc, i couldn't find one in your blog - in any case, if i happen to accidentally break one of yours, just hmu or gimme a nudge).

considering that you've asked more than one question, i'll answer to you in separate sections - needless to say that while i break it down your questions, the answer might become a little longer than usual (again, i'm sorry). i'll keep this tagged, in case any of my followers don't feel like reading about this. without further ado, let’s dive in.´

“do you condone/ship incest?”

short answer? nope. but that is not a black or white question i’m afraid. no, i – nox, the human behind this blog of fictional characters – personally do not condone incest , never have and never will, and  don’t ship it. i do, however, ship consanguinamory on rare occasions, and when i do happen to write it i never do it in a good light.

for those who are not familiar with the term, here’s a little bit of info about it x && x. in short, the key difference between them is: incest is usually linked abuse (a fictional example that can be used, taking in consideration one of my very own muses, in this case is margot verger – who was sadly abused by her brother in the hannibal books) while consanguinamory (the lannisters, for example, or even the sharpe siblings from crimson peak are examples of consanguineous relationships) is the consensual romantic and/or sexual relationship between members of the same family who are of consenting age.

[ personally, i find both of them gross as fuuck irl but when it comes to fictional works i may get over this first disgust and ponder more on that && take in consideration the characters arch, plot, thoughts and the whole world they are set in. ]

i suppose the turning point here is the consent. i never, never, condone any sort of abuse – not in fiction and neither in real life – and while it’s a subject that bothers me to no end in real life, when it comes to fiction i am less inclined to project into them. i may write dark and toxic relationships, but i obviously do not condone them. that’s the point here – people on this hellsite usually mix the two together (condoning something and shipping/writing it, that is) when in fact they shouldn’t even be in the same box to begin with.

let’s say you write a fictional serial killer – norman bates, tate langdon, hannibal lecter, catherine tramell (that chick from basic instinct), patrick bateman, mrs lovett and sweeney todd, kai anderson, bellatrix, grindelwald and voldemort (the list of plausible examples could go on forever…) – here and ship with them; does it mean that you, the writer, condone every single action and choice your muse does? if writing something purely fictional equals to condoning it in real life, well… the world is even more fucked up than i first thought.

you see, in this little exercise in imagination, you could’ve easily picked a good guy or gal to write, the hero; the goody two shoes. why didn’t you? well, it’s complicated to pin point why some are drawn to darker works of fiction and characters while others are not, i suppose each individual has their own reasons && i can only speak for myself when i say that i am drawn to these sort of fictional works because they the safest way to explore dark topics that pertain to human society. on my side, it’s nothing but raw curiosity.

there’s also the issue of how different cultures see these relationships. in case you haven’t noticed, i am not from the states but actually from brazil. especially in the rural area, it’s not uncommon for second cousins to date or even marry (ew, i know, pretty gross). that’s something that is luckily falling out of practice, but you can easily find it, more so in the poor rural areas that are really far from the cities.

you may have noticed that most of the sources for the terms come from a blog that advocates real life consanguinamory – but make no mistake, i don’t support it. these were the only places i’ve found as sources in a quick look online. i don’t support it irl, but whatever consenting adults are doing amongst themselves is no concern of mine – i have no say on the matter and all in all, i don’t give a damn. i just don’t like it. everything i’ve discussed here is related to fiction, consent and is only ever related to people of consenting age.

“i was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction”

to be honest with you, anon, i couldn’t possibly see how you’ve got confused with this. i thought i was pretty clear with that, but perhaps not. sorry, my english is not perfect. however, with the risk of sounding like a meme, i said what i said. if you personally feel uncomfortable or even triggered with fictional consensual incest otherwise known as consanguinamory, maybe my blog isn’t for you. not because i – as the mun –  condone it, but because i might mention it or even allude to it when i write certain characters. again, consent is the main thing here – you won’t ever see me writing that awful part of margot’s past, but i might mention it on some threads as it is part of her trauma but i will write jaime’s feelings regarding cersei and joanna’s love for tywin – and that should not be overlooked.

“except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction” 

so far so good, am i to assume that you also believe that “murder is murder, regardless of if it is fiction or not”? should we call the police on, idk, george rr martin for killing....hell knows how many characters...at this point i’m sure not even he knows. leaving my petty comment aside (it’s the arthritis, i’m always annoyed when in pain), i see where you’re coming from; fair enough.  but you missed a big point here – consensual. i do not write abuse, even to the muses who – in the canon source material – have done so    ( like jaime lannister himself – who’s in a consanguinamorous [therefore, falling under the category of fictional consensual incest] relationship with cersei – who abused his sister next to their son’s dead body [ yeah, jaime apologists, i’m out to get y’all...jokes aside, i do not acknowledge people claiming that cersei manipulated him into going to bed with her, while they are both shitty and toxic as fuck people, their relationship is mutually messed up – gag if you must but jaime lannister is far from innocent angel ] )     in the past. i. don’t. write. it. but i do write jaime’s feelings for cersei because they are canon and are also a big part of the character he became.

all of that, of course, has to do with my own position on the “war” between the people who believe fiction has a great power and influence over reality vs the ones who do not believe in that. personally, i find it hard to believe that fiction is a brainwashing tool rewiring people’s brains  - i find the idea itself ludicrous, the ones who strongly stand for that aren’t that different from flat-earthers and people who believe in reverse racism tbh – but i do acknowledge the influence media has on society. its not nearly enough to turn someone to the “dark side” alone by itself – those who claim that videogames, for example, made them violent most likely already had something different and perhaps wrong with them before the games triggered something. i don’t believe that media creates things on people, but brings buried things (fears, feelings, emotions, hopes) back to the surface. it’s all about the stimulus.

if you wanna be scared, watch an horror movie; if you wanna be happy, a comedy video.  wanna feel warm inside and live unrealistic romantic expectations vicariously through fictional characters? read a 50.000 words slow burn fluffy happy fanfic of your otp at 3 am even though you gotta wake up early in the following morning....

point is, they are not creating things, they are bringing forth responses from you that were already there in your brain (everybody has laughed before and felt fear, it’s part of human development). and how you react to certain content is entirely to you and your past. say, if you drowned as a kid on the sea - and had trauma from that - the idea of watching titanic is not so fun, is it?

it’s not my place to decide what you should do, that is entirely your own choice to make, just be aware that, as i’ve stated before countless times, i may write dark topics that may or may not be triggering to some.  i do so because it is my blog, and i don’t react so harshly to this content (in fact, i love horror, thriller and dark fictional stuff – meanwhile i dread the thought of rom coms, hell knows why??) for i am lucky to be able to separate fiction from reality. basically, whilst writing a villain, i myself do not become one in real life – that part remains in fiction only and doesn’t affect me.

that is not a constant, sure. i don’t just write dark shady stuff – there’s plenty of fluffy shit on my blog, but i like to warn people beforehand to make sure we are all on the same page. it’s for your own comfort, i suppose, because i may not understand certain points of view on fiction but i will always defend your right to be comfortable and safe.

so yes, if you aren’t feeling well at that notion, please unfollow and block me if you must – i never wish to cause any discomfort to anyone – however, before you do so (that is, if you do so) i beg you to just send me an im warning me beforehand, please? that way i can block you – and your other blogs as well – so the chances of me running into you again and causing you discomfort will be minimal. that way we’ll both be on own respective lanes and happy about it. i mass follow very often and don’t usually know which blogs belong to whom (uh, did that make sense? my latina ass is not used to using whom in a sentence....), i may follow another blog (or the revamped blog) of someone who has blocked me and never even realise it – that’s not me following you around and stalking like a total creep, that’s probably me not even remembering who you are. again, sorry – i don’t mean for this to come off rude or anything but???? its the truth? you know the drill, big following list, big followers list (well, big for me tbh, i cannot remember the name or alias of 600 people for the life of me, excuse me if my memory doesn’t serve me right), hard to keep track. there will be no witch hunts, at least on my part, because i deem them to be childish and way too dramatic for my taste. if you’d like to speak in private, adult to adult, i’m always game – i dread vague posting, i personally see it as a pathetic and weak trait. 

as long as you’re civil, so am i.

either way, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe on your blog – your  mental health is far more important (to me, and hopefully to you as well) than a hobby, than tumblr, rp or whatever fictional stuff someone’s writing or reading; you are responsible for your own online experience, and i am responsible for mine. that’s an empowering thing that should be reminded more often.

i truly hope i’ve managed to answer whatever doubts or questions you had in mind, if not my ims are always open and so is my discord. once again, thank you for reading my rules and stay safe!

edit; my dumb ass forgot to drop my disco handle, since i change often. it currently is   DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT !!! | 𝒏𝒐𝒙#1398

[margridarnauds]

for the otp meme: number 6 for d'aramis, peyronan and any character you wish richard to be with please~ 💕

So.........guess who just discovered this in my drafts, uncompleted. Also I’m tagging you @odachans just in case Tumblr is predictable and bungles the notification process. 

1. Who cuddles up to the other when they are cold?

D’Artagnan is a natural cuddler. This sent Aramis into multiple Gay Panics (or, rather, bi/pan panics) before they actually got together. 2. What do they depend on each other for?

2. What do they depend on each other for?   

I feel like Aramis depends on D’Artagnan for motivation and inspiration. Aramis is a brilliant Musketeer in his own right, he’s obviously successful as a priest, but the second D’Artagnan comes, he gets onboard. Why? Because even if D’Artagnan isn’t his lover (yet), he’s a genuinely good, charismatic leader, and THAT is enough to get Aramis back in the game. I feel like he might become a little....complacent, over time, but D’Artagnan would make it very hard for someone to be complacent while also not going TOO hard down their throats. 

D’Artagnan relies on Aramis for loyalty. Not necessarily blind loyalty; he doesn’t WANT anyone to, say, risk their lives for him. He doesn’t leverage loyalty like, say, Artois would. But he knows that, if he shows up to Aramis, Aramis would be the first one to hear him out, and he WANTS his right hand man back anyway, because it probably doesn’t feel RIGHT without him there anyway. 

3. Who forgets everything so the other leaves notes all around the house?

D’Artagnan forgets, Aramis leaves notes, as the Confirmed Moronsexual™ in their relationship.

4. Who tells the other they look beautiful everyday?

D’Artagnan. Aramis thought that it wouldn’t matter, given how often he’s been complimented on his looks, but with D’Artagnan it’s….different. It means more. 

5. Who gets stressed out and the other has to calm them down?

I feel like D’Artagnan, even though in general he’s very easy going, might get a little too caught up in his Gascon pride and wanting to do right, which subsequently makes any failure CRUSHING. (Though I also think that Aramis might not be quite as cool as he projects, which means that by the time he cracks, he CRACKS.)

6. What makes them a good couple?

They mutually respect and admire one another; they would be fine either as friends or as lovers, and, tbh, even if they were to split up, I don’t see a huge DRAMA over it. It would just be like….okay. Yeah, it would hurt them and there might be a tiny bit of tension for a little while, but I think that, in the end, they would still be friends who had one another’s backs. 

7. Who takes pictures of random dogs and sends them to the other person?

GENERALLY D’Artagnan, but Aramis has, at least on one occasion, seen a golden retriever, taken a picture of it, and put in a caption that just said, “This reminded me of you.” And then D’Artagnan responded with a heart emoji and he nearly felt himself die from how much he loved him. 

8. Who laughs at the lamest of jokes?

D’Artagnan. Aramis thinks that he’s faking at first, but no, D’Artagnan considers them genuinely hilarious. 

9. Who likes to drive at night?

D’Artagnan, particularly if it’s along old country roads. (Aramis would never say that he’s mildly freaked out by the deers’ eyes glinting along the sides of the road, in the woods.)

10. What does their bedroom look like?

Aramis is used to slightly more lavish arrangements, but he can settle for a golden cross above the bed and a few nice pillows. After all, he was a musketeer before he became a wildly successful priest/love expert, so like. He has to have roughed it at least a LITTLE. D’Artagnan isn’t quite at “hurricane” levels of organization, but you do have the occasional bit of training equipment scattered around the floor, with the notable exception of the sword, which he treats like his actual CHILD. There isn’t all that much in the way of furniture, you have a bed, you have two night tables, Aramis’ tends to be stocked with a copy of the Bible, which D’Artagnan routinely tries to distract him from reading from, usually causing Aramis to actually FREEZE out of sheer bi panic. (Yes, they’re basically married. No, that doesn’t mean that he still doesn’t occasionally just freeze at something D’Artagnan does because HOW is he so attractive? HOW?) 

Peyronan

1. Who cuddles up to the other when they are cold?

Ronan. He’s used to living in a situation where he shares a bed with Solène and his father anyway, and, since he moved away, he’s really missed having that added warmth. I think that it was actually one of the harder adjustments he had to make when he abandoned Solène went to Paris. So, actually SHARING a bed with someone again, he’s going to want that connection, he’s going to want that warmth, and it’s kind of instinctual to him. Lazare isn’t used to having contact AT ALL, he’s never really had to share a bed to the same degree (he might have when he was still a young officer/possibly aide de campe to one of The Big Boys because space was limited, especially if we accept that he MIGHT have been the right age to fight in the American Revolution, but, now, as at LEAST a colonel of a regiment? He isn’t going to go for it.) So….it just isn’t INSTINCTUAL for him. He isn’t really used to being touched or having any degree of warmth, and he’s genuinely shocked when he finds himself leaning into Ronan when he cuddles with him. 

2. What do they depend on each other for?  

They both depend on one another for stability as the tension in the streets escalates. Had Ronan survived, they would have relied on one another increasingly for that. (Especially if both had survived past 1794 and the downfall of Danton, Desmoulins, and Robespierre. Ronan would have needed SOMEONE to cling to, and Lazare would have been mourning the Ancien Régime.

Lazare relies on Ronan for affection and emotional intelligence, Ronan relies on Lazare for having someone to pull him back when he threatens to go overboard. 

3. Who forgets everything so the other leaves notes all around the house?

Ronan forgets, Lazare leaves notes, though they don’t really do any good. 

4. Who tells the other they look beautiful everyday?

Both of them routinely go “…whoa,” at times when they see each other. Neither one of them has really LOST that novelty, and there’s very much this sense of “This is my person, I am with them, HOW?” That being said, Lazare tends to keep his admiration for Ronan to quiet moments, generally when he wakes up before Ronan or Ronan falls asleep before him (which is often), and he gets to stroke Ronan’s hair and back while he sleeps, or when he catches Ronan in another rare quiet moment (he would think, years later, how stunning he had been on the Bastille, that last day, sun-glinting off his rifle). He doesn’t outwardly EXPRESS it, not in words or really in any way that is tangible, though Ronan still knows. Ronan’s stupid, yes, but emotionally, of the two of them, he’s smarter, and in some ways, I think he knows Lazare’s emotions better than Lazare does. (And in other ways, he doesn’t, especially relating to Lazare’s complex relationship with the Army/Royal Family.) 

Ronan, though….he KNOWS he married up. Not just in terms of a peasant being with a count (that…doesn’t really compute to Ronan in terms of their relationship. Not that it doesn’t IMPACT them, but in the sense that Ronan doesn’t feel unequal or like he should necessarily be grateful to The Count de Peyrol for “choosing” him. Other people would be flattering, fawning over Lazare and doing everything to stay in his good graces. Ronan doesn’t. Which is exactly why Laz chose him in the first place), but in terms of “Holy *Hell* he’s hot. And smart. And capable. HOW?” It’s like…he thinks of everyone that he could have been with, had he stayed in the Beauce or if he’d gone for someone Camille in Paris, and Lazare is just…several steps above, even if he’s stuffy and formal and emotionally constipated and anal about everything being in order. And he has no restraint telling Lazare what a handsome officer he nabbed for a lover. (Lazare is kind of ???? because…it isn’t necessarily that he has low self esteem, re: his looks, just that they’ve literally never mattered to him before. His main concern has always been “How intimidating can I be?”)

5. Who get stressed out and the other has to calm them down?

Lazare doesn’t SHOW his stress, in the sense that he doesn’t have a paper bag that he huffs into, but he gets much more disturbed when things move outside of what he considers normal. He gets very irritable and stressed if things don’t fit into his special place for them, and he has the tendency to become absorbed in his job. Ronan tends to be the one to bring him down. Generally via what he considers “subtle” seduction. (It is not subtle. At all.) Though a lot of the time, really, that seduction is just wandering over to Lazare’s desk, putting his arms around his midsection, burying his face in his neck, and groaning “Come to bed” like a recently re-animated zombie. After which, barring a national emergency, Lazare will eventually put down his pen and dutifully cuddle with Ronan until he goes to sleep. Ronan’s actually picked up the habit of playing with Lazare’s hair/scratching his head when he’s stressed, which generally does wonders for relaxing him. 

6. What makes them a good couple?

In some core areas, they actually are very compatible. Both of them are in a relationship for the long run. The initial execution might be brief, but when it comes to “Do we actually want a relationship? Or are we going to change our minds a month in?” the answer is yes for both of them (and a “no” to the last question). They’re both committed, like that. Regardless of their arguments, at the end of the day, they are each other’s significant other. Ronan gets into a fight with Lazare, yeah, he might scowl, get drunk, and sleep in a drain somewhere, but he isn’t going to cheat on him out of revenge, and Lazare, at an absolute low, might bluster about how it was a mistake to go for a peasant who couldn’t understand, but he isn’t going to bring someone new in, either. After they’ve both slept on it, they’ll be back in the same room, patch things up, and they’ll be fine. (And Lazare will spend some time making up for the mistake comment.) 

Lazare is high intelligence, in terms of things like common sense and caution, along with more conventional markers like math, geometry, history, etc. (though he isn’t as well education as people, especially Ronan, tend to assume). That being said, he’s stunted in terms of his socialization and has never really LIVED outside of his career. He’s numbed emotionally, and sometimes, I think he doesn’t really know what he’s feeling. I think he knew he felt SOMETHING for Ronan from the beginning, but I’m not sure that he was really, concretely aware that it was attraction and then love until Ronan more or less jumped on him. Ronan is….well, low intelligence in just about…everything, he’s impulsive, but he gets Lazare out of his shell, and he is, generally speaking, more emotionally intelligent than most people give him credit for, and he’s quick at making connections. (Remember how he was able to guess that Olympe worked for the Queen and that the guy he dueled was Fersen, even after about a week of torture? Yeah, he’s not smart, but he’s QUICK.) And Ronan is very, very affectionate, which…for someone as touch starved as Lazare…on one hand, it can definitely be overwhelming and Ronan doesn’t always know his boundaries, but on the other hand…it can be exactly what he needs. He has, basically, a lifetime of touch to make up for. 

Ronan livens Lazare up and can make him act when he would have otherwise been cautious (for better or worse), while Lazare can hold Ronan back; they balance one another out. 

7. Who takes pictures of random dogs and sends them to the other person?

Ronan sends them to Lazare, probably in a not-so subtle attempt to get Laz to adopt one for the two of them. (In the end, he does, and despite claiming that it’s “Your dog,” guess who the dog insists on sleeping with every night? And who can be found stroking it in his lap as he does his morning coffee + newspaper reading. It ain’t Ronan.)  

8. Who laughs at the lamest of jokes?

Ronan. RonanRonanRonanRonan. He both tells the bad jokes and laughs at them. Sometimes, he gets Lazare to quirk a smile, and every single time, it feels like his heart’s going to explode. (It’s an ongoing quest of his: Make Lazare smile.) 

9. Who likes to drive at night?

Lazare. It’s calm at night, less traffic, less noise. It’s easier to concentrate, and it’s easy to simply exist when it’s just him and his meticulously chosen driving playlist. (Depending on whether or not Ronan’s collapsed in his seat yet. Ronan has two modes: “Off” and “On.”)

10. What does their bedroom look like?

Lazare’s own style is naturally very austere and dark. He can survive with a bed, endtable, writing desk, and some place to store his (very limited, for an aristocrat) clothes, and his color scheme tends towards dark blues and silvers, very cold colors. But, once Ronan moves in, things start changing, since Ronan’s style starts coming into play. So, you get that odd mix of those austere colors and then BOOM a vibrant orange chair by the fireplace. Lazare actually had to buy a new bed when he moved Ronan in, since before that, he’d been perfectly content to sleep in a single bed, so they ended up with a four poster, canopy style bed (Laz does like the canopy, because it gives him some privacy). 

Ronan, of course, wanted one like this:

He was, tragically, vetoed, though the lining to the bed IS a vibrant yellow, and the blue is much, much brighter than you’d generally expect from Laz, even if it still looks like something you’d find in Elsa’s ice castle. 

Also, even though they’re very little used, they do both have their own beds. Lazare’s experience of domesticity, as much as he’s ever known it, has been that aristocratic model of the married couple having their own rooms, and it isn’t something he’s REALLY given up for Ronan. Lazare loves Ronan very, very much, but sometimes, he needs his own space.

Ronan doesn’t really understand it, himself, since…again, he’s used to being with his family CONSTANTLY in their old home, but…there is Something in knowing that his relationship with Lazare doesn’t just depend on him being ready and available every night. Like, I think that his worst nightmare, relationship wise, would be turning out to be an expendable toy that Lazare only spends time and money on for a little while after everything Ronan’s kind of put in and sacrificed to be with him (namely, his ongoing guilt at being with the man who killed his father + betraying the revolution by being with him), and this is very clear evidence that, regardless of whether Ronan wants to sleep with him on a given night, they’re together. It isn’t Lazare playing with him, he isn’t a momentary distraction that’s only good for a few nights, they’re living together, and he has this space that’s His that’s totally separate from his relationship with Laz. It’s also where, had Ronan lived, he would have gone every July 24th, when he felt the anniversary of his father’s death hit him head on. For a week or two leading up to that…he loves Lazare, he DOES, he’s utterly devoted to him, but he can’t be around him constantly when his father’s so heavily on his mind, when there will always be those thoughts of “If it hadn’t happened, he would have been 45-50-55-60, he would have been happy” and the loss hits him square in the chest. When he has to reconcile the man he adores with the man he left for Paris to take his revenge on.

Richard/Emma

Because motherfucking Tango Korrupti

1. Who cuddles up to the other when they are cold?

My mind says Emma, because it seems like it’s been ages since her last relationship and she’s probably starved for any real, genuine touch she can get, but my heart says Richard, even if he’d deny it. He just....moves towards her while he’s sleeping until his head is tucked into her neck. 

2. What do they depend on each other for?  

Emma does need Richard to make the cut throat career decisions that she normally wouldn’t make but that are necessary to survive in Hollywood. Also, you can bet that when she’s sick, when she’s on her period, when she’s just in one of those moods that are less than glamorous, less than Star-Like™, Richard’s right there to cover up any tiny smudges and make it seem like everything’s normal. And Richard, for better or worse, is FIERCELY protective of her. And yes, this often goes to extremes, but he does protect her from some of her more adrenaline seeker tendencies, and in an ideal world, that would be toned down to him making her rethink it without necessarily trying to control her. And if a director ever tried to use the casting couch on her or, for example, DO a Quentin Tarantino and force her into an unsafe working condition, I do think Richard would go down their throats. Yes, he wants the money and the prestige, but he can’t get that if Emma’s hurt or traumatized. (Or, at least, that might be what he tells himself at first.) 

In short, Richard can use his innate Karen powers for the cause of good. 

I discuss it a little below, but, Richard can naturally get carried away and become....well, a miniature, American Napoleon. And when he does, Emma’s there to bring him down. He needs her for her star power and her glamor, yes, but he does need her to keep him in line as well. And, it’s odd, but I do feel like Richard himself might need a little bit of a break from Hollywood himself. And he wouldn’t REALIZE it like Emma would, because he’s normalized it. I don’t necessarily want Emma saving him, and I’m not sure that there IS a way to “save” Richard without utterly destroying him as a character, or whether I would be interested in Fully Normal Richard. I do suspect that he could do with some loosening up, if he was willing to take it, and if, while Emma’s trying to find that compromise between Emma Carter™ and Adele Waldvogel, she drags Richard into eating pizza on the living room floor cross-legged, that’s fine with me. 

3. Who forgets everything so the other leaves notes all around the house?

They both leave notes. When they’re having an argument, they can get VERY passive aggressive. 

4. Who tells the other they look beautiful everyday?

Richard. At first, Emma thinks it’s professional (Hell, RICHARD thinks it’s professional, because Richard is an utter MASTER at self deception, see: Macho Macho’s entire existence.) But then as time goes on, it’s like “....Oh, he actually. Does.” Rochard gets PERSONALLY offended if anyone suggests that Emma’s lost it as a star or that there’s anyone else that can take a role. Emma has actually gotten him to change his mind a few times by saying “Yeah, and they said that if they couldn’t get me, they would go for Florence Pugh or Charlize Theron” and Richard just goes into “How DARE they?” mode. 

5. Who gets stressed out and the other has to calm them down?

They both have various ways of getting stressed out, but Richard is canonically always around one step away from an outright panic attack. She keeps a stock of paper bags on hand. 

If they ever have a child....Richard outside the waiting room would be...

6. What makes them a good couple?

This is actually I struggled with, because in canon, as they’re presented, they distinctly WOULDN’T be. Or, rather, at least, not necessarily a healthy one, which doesn’t mean they can’t be entertaining to watch. Richard’s too controlling, while Emma is feeling increasingly disconnected from HER, which Richard has every interest in destroying in favor of her embracing a superficial life, even to the extent of hurting her to do it. 

Now, I’m not saying this in order to ravage it, because I chose this ship for this ask BECAUSE I love it. Simply laying out why it’s difficult to pinpoint why I think that they could actually work, if you rearrange a few things. 

In a world where Emma accepted the Tango Korrupti, where she didn’t get warm and fuzzy feelings awakened by the promise of brown bread and an alps skiing trip, it would be the kind of relationship where they both WORK with one another and what they want. 

Maybe Emma would still fall in love with Josi in this timeline, but they would simply be incompatible, because Emma likes Hollywood, the glitz and the glam, and she can’t manage a long distance relationship with Josi at the same time. So, it comes to her career or him. And she loves him, yeah, but she doesn’t love Adele Waldvogel, or the situation that she left behind, and even though her relationship with Hollywood is complicated, that doesn’t mean she inherently wants to leave it ALL behind. 

Richard’s controlling, and that’s something that would need to be discussed as far as “If I take you back on, I do my own thing. I’ll listen to your advice, but I’m my own person. Take it or leave it.” And there would be quarrels over it, when Emma wants to do something risky (Disneyland nearly gives Richard a HEART ATTACK), but they could reach an agreement. And, in that scenario, it would work, because Richard is cut-throat, he can be ruthless, and he would look out for Emma’s best interests. It would be a case of “us against the world” or, at least “us against Hollywood.” Sure, Emma could become engaged to Pablo, maybe even have a few more relationships on page after the inevitable divorce (though they remain good friends), but in the end, the one who she could really trust would be Richard. Emma herself has a sardonic edge to her, as shown in “Bussi, bussi,” where she freely takes the piss out of LA society, so I can see her and Richard standing on the sidelines to some party, making catty comments. 

And Richard....I actually don’t see that he would necessarily WANT to fall in love with Emma, because she’s a client. That’s bad for business, especially when he needs to advise her on the best relationships to bring in the cash. And Richard’s top priority has always been his money. (Also, I feel like before this, Richard 100% believed he was gay and then it was like “......Bisexuality is an OPTION?”) But Emma’s smart, she’s funny, she’s stunning, and she puts up with no bullshit, and on some level, he HAS to know her better than anyone else does. (He was obviously there for her first breakup, and even though I’m not going to sanctify Richard, because he’s, canonically, a prick...I do like to think that at least a PART of his concern over her being with someone new wasn’t just jealousy or a concern over his money, but him genuinely seeing how much she was hurt.) And Richard probably has seen Emma at some of her least glamorous as well, because his job is really to invent the glamor when it’s not naturally there. 

7. Who takes pictures of random dogs and sends them to the other person?

Emma sends them to Richard, who at first is concerned because what if she’s allergic? What if she wants to get one now? Where would they GET one? What about the mess? And who will let the dog out? After all, if she goes out walking with it, that gives the paparazzi a chance to swarm. Emma points out that dogs are EXCELLENT publicity. 

It’s an Austrian Pinscher, though Richard would SWEAR it bore an uncanny resemblance to Josi. Emma’s thrilled because it’s just like one she used to have as a child. 

8. Who laughs at the lamest of jokes?

I started off leaning towards Richard and ended up on Emma. I feel that when Emma is more relaxed, she has a much, much dorkier sense of humor, it’s just that Emma Carter™ the brand can’t really be seen laughing at lame jokes, she has to laugh at the right ones, usually said by powerful people, and not too long or too hard. I think that the sound of her own, genuine laugh actually surprises her because it’s been so long since she’s heard it. 

9. Who likes to drive at night?

Richard gets very antsy when Emma drives at the best of times, though Emma will point out that people have gotten into car crashes with chauffeurs just as easily as if they’d been driving themselves. LA is hypnotic at night, lit up by all the billboards and late night places still open, palm trees dotting the roads, and it’s easy to think about how far she’s come. When SOMEONE isn’t being a backseat driver.

10. What does their bedroom look like?

For some reason, judging from what I’ve seen of Emma’s design choices as far as her clothing in the musical, I kind of like the thought of her going for black and white designs, with the black serving as a lining to the white. A FEW geometric designs, but nothing over the top. 

Basically, like this, but I do see Emma having a few pink accents in there, possibly swapping out those white pillows for something in hot pink. (The poster would, obviously, be a Quentin Tarantino one.) 

[charmingcentry]

Bechloe - Variety Show

HS AU Bechloe where Beca and Jesse are fans of Bo Burnham. It’ll be a 4-parter going through each year of the Variety Show their school holds. This one is mainly Beca and Jesse BROTP with a hint of Bechloe.

----

Freshman Year

“Aw come on Becaw it’ll be fun!” 

Beca did her signature eye-roll towards her friend, looking straight into his puppy-dog eyes with a glare; Jesse always did have the appearance of a kicked poodle. “No dude, fuck off with it already… I’m not performing in the variety show with you!” She smacks Jesse lightly with her pencil, although it did cause him to wince, and continues on with her mathematics homework - surprisingly one of her favorite subjects. Jesse lets out a sigh and continues on with his own math homework, the duo laying down on the hardwood floors of Beca’s house.

As she shuts the rings in her math binder, Beca still feels two small holes, drilling into the top of her head. The brunette glances up and sees Jesse, quickly lowering his head down and refocuses his mind on the math problem in front of him; the male always did have trouble with factoring. The brunette shakes her head and rummages through her backpack, pulling out her English binder - her least favorite subject.

She never could focus during her English class even if it was right after lunch. Her teacher’s voice is incredibly monotone and robot-like, Beca constantly has to force her head up throughout the long lecture. The lack of decorations in the classroom contributed to the lack of exuberance amongst the class and the teacher didn’t seem to care. Unluckily for Beca, her father had forced her to partake in the Honors English class rather than the regular, one of the many cons of having a Literature Professor as your parent. For an honors class, the teacher seemed to lack the enthusiasm and ability to care.

If there was one thing Beca did care for in English class, it would be the redhead that sits diagonally from her. She would be the main energy source of the class - Beca presumes that English is her favorite subject - and would participate nearly every day. For 14-year-old usually oblivious Beca, she was surprisingly quite aware of how her stomach became a butterfly cage when the redhead would say hi to her or how her mouth went dry during group work and how her hands would become clammier. Some days, Chloe - Beca peered over at the redhead’s binder second day of school to learn her name - would shoot a smile at Beca whenever the brunette got caught dazing off in class. There were other days where Chloe offered Beca water or even gummy worms to keep her energy up - how did this girl not have cavities? I guess you could say Beca has a crush on Chloe but the brunette denies any part of it. 

The brunette continues working on her worksheet about rhetoric terminologies when she hears a rustle come from Jesse. She glances up and notices he’s pulling out a blue pill speaker Beca had gifted him for his birthday and his narrowing of eyes as he selects music. The brunette couldn’t help but sing along to the song chosen.

I am the left brain I am the left brain

I work really hard till my inevitable death brain

You got a job to do you better do it right in the right way with the left brain’s might…

Beca is startled when Jesse enters in with the next part; the brunette admits, Jesse did have a nice voice.

I like Oreos and pu- puppies! (“Nice censorship there.”) yes in that order!

And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3… WOODY!

I am the right brain~ I have feelings

I’m a little all over the place but I’m lustful trustful and I’m looking for somebody to love

….do do do do do do

Beca playfully rolls her eyes once again at Jesse’s hilarious attempt at censorship as she answers a question about the definitions of ethos, pathos, and logos. She continues singing along to the song when Jesse pokes the top of her head. “Come on Beca, we have amazing voices! We can perform this for the variety show together.” The brunette’s face went pale as she sat up, her jaw slightly dropping.

“That’s a lot of censorship we have to do there Swanson…” Beca states, knowing how many dirty jokes there are within the song, but it would be fun to perform it she has to admit.

“We’ll work on that! You can like do the instrumental since you have that program and we can change the lyrics together.” Beca ponders and narrows her eyes slightly. “Please Becsss!” Jesse drones, clamping his hands together while shaking them. The brunette lets out a sigh.

“Fine.” 

Jesse lets out a deafening cheer as he works out the details of what would happen with their performance. Beca was surprised at his planning and organization skills, considering the 14-year-old can’t even locate his pencil case and listens to her friend’s ideas. The brunette would be taking the part of “Left Brain” of course and Jesse “Right Brain.” Beca would organize the instrumental behind the song and voice the beginning part. To settle who would be playing “Bo,” they settled with Benji who is a mutual friend of the duo - he enjoys performing on stage. Their outfits with just be Beca in blue and Jesse in red, inspiration taken off of the lighting Bo Burnham - writer and singer of the song - from his show. 

“Honestly, thank god you said yes. I signed us up before telling you.”

“Oh, I mea- wait you did what!”

---

The day before the Variety Show, Beca’s English class held a party to celebrate the end of the school semester. The brunette sat in her desk, she didn’t have friends in the class other than Chloe - the redhead was in the stage between acquaintance and friend. She scrolled through her phone, listening to a Bo Burnham playlist she had created back in seventh grade. As she chucks a brownie into her mouth, she feels a slight tap on her left ear. She looks and notices it’s Chloe, smiling brightly at Beca. The brunette widens her eyes slightly as she pulls her earbuds out. “I heard you’re in the Variety show Becs.”

Beca goes red as she rubs the back of her neck. “Oh, uh yeah. Jesse, he’s my friend, made me do it.” She puts a chip in her mouth, only worsening her dry mouth situation.

“I know him, he’s in my Biology class! He’s really nice and funny.” Beca could feel a bitter taste in her mouth as she slightly pouts. “I probably taught him all the humor he knows y’know.” The brunette bites her lip, was she jealous? “I- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that…” Chloe only smiles politely at Beca

“Nah, you’re alright Becs…” There’s dead air between them for a while. “Can I listen to your music? Don’t really have anyone else here to be with and I wanna hang out more with you.” 

Beca feels slightly touched and offers the left earbud to Chloe. The redhead smiles when she inserts the device in her ear and suddenly, Beca remembers she’s listening to “Eff” by Bo Burnham. Chloe gives Beca a shocked look as the brunette grimaces “Aw don’t be nervous Becs, it’s actually really good… who is this guy?”

Chloe scoots her chair closer to Beca as they both eat a platter of junk food and talk about Bo Burnham. Lucky for Beca, Chloe seems to enjoy his music and sense of humor. The two don’t notice the spreading blush on each other’s faces.

---

Of all of the places their performance could be in, Beca and her group had to be last. Last of all places! Expectations are already high and the brunette is nervous seeing that right before them was a comedy bit by a hilarious girl in their grade who goes by Fat Amy. Beca begins to pick at her nails as she sees the host walk on stage.

“Oh my god, I’m dying! That was so hilarious. Thank you, Fat Amy, for her wonderful stand-up and also stories of crocodile wrestling.” He clears his throat. “Now, give it up for Beca Mitchell, Jesse Swanson, and Benjamin Applebaum who will be performing Left Brain, Right Brain by Bo Burnham! The final act of tonight… good luck you three!”

Beca gulps as Jesse rushes to the right side of the stage as Benji goes on, starting off with a pretend magic trick. The audience laughs as Benji releases a fake dove that plops onto the ground, the brunette smiles as she nervously tugs on her blue-collared long sleeve. Then, she hears her voice. 

Hello, Patient 24602. How are you feeling?

Benji goes back and forth with Beca’s pre-recorded voice, quietly laughing at her friend’s improvisation with the dialogue. To her surprise, the audience is slowly erupting with quiet giggles and laughter as well!

“Real mature of you disembodied voice, calling me a loser.”

I was just joking you dumbass. (Thank God for the principal who allowed cuss words for this performance)

Beca stops her giggling fit when she hears the song is slowly approaching her cue. She glances across the stage and makes eye contact with Jesse. He gives Beca a thumbs up and the brunette smiles widely at him.

Splitting your neurological functions in 3, 2, 1.

The lights go out as Benji runs off stage, pretending to scream in pain. When the lights go off, Beca emerges from the side of the stage and stands with arms folded across her chest, standing tall and straight, appearing to be confident. The lights go on as her own voice introduces herself

This is Benji’s left brain, objective, logical, cold, analytical, aware of patterns, aware of trends. He’s efficient... and a prick.

The way Beca raises her hands gives the implication of the middle finger about to be raised. Then, the lights go off, causing the audience to erupt with laughter once more. The laid-back and steady beat transforms into a lively keyboard melody as the spotlight focuses on Jesse who is jumping with joy. This is Benji’s right brain. Subjective, creative, sensory, aware of feelings, aware of people. He’s emotional. And an idiot. He skips around himself and waves excitedly at the audience, pretending to be hurt by the last part of Beca’s voice.

Alright, you two.

All of the light appears on stage as Beca darts her head towards Jesse and vice versa.

Play nice.

Beca starts singing the first verse, making calm collected hand gestures towards herself as the focus of the light is directed on her. She appears to be extremely less bouncy and excited compared to Jesse’s character - or just himself if we’re being honest here - and yet on the inside, her heart is pumping dramatically. Just about when finishes her verse, she catches the eye of a specific audience member, Chloe Beale who is grinning brightly and raised her shoulders playfully when she noticed Beca staring right at her. The brunette fights back a smile when the lively keyboard melody begins once again, the focus of light on Jesse this time.

The light is now everywhere on stage, focusing on both Jesse and Beca. The audience begins to die down from laughter after a little bit between the friends, revolving around the right brain teasing the left brain about playing with Rubix Cubes.

Well, at least I did my freakin’ job, alright? I kept him working, I kept him productive. You were supposed to look after him, you were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this. 

The audience is silent as Beca pretends to be furious with Jesse. The brunette is throwing her hands up frustratedly as the taller of the two appears to be on the verge of tears. 

Now you’re trying to blame me for how he’s feeling, how he’s feeling! If he’s feeling unhappy it’s because you failed him! 

Beca pushes Jesse once, causing him to fall on the ground.

You did this to him he hates you I know he does! He freakin’ hates you!

Jesse begins bawling over-dramatically as the audience lets out a collective chuckle by the male’s performance. 

Beca pretends to feel bad and kneels down to Jesse, singing the next part of the song. The Left Brain apologizes to the right brain as she holds her hand out and helps the male stand up. Left Brain suggests an idea of how the two can work together, Beca playfully pushes Jesse’s shoulder.

Do you know what it is? JUGGLING! WE CAN JUGGLE AND JUGGLE OUR CARES AWAY.

The audience cackles as Beca looks towards an excited Jesse who is jumping in place, dumbfounded. The brunette rubs the bridge of her nose and lets out a sigh of frustration.

It- it was comedy. We can do comedy together.

Beca’s pre-recorded voice appears once again, stating the reassembly of the two halves of Benji’s brain.

Left brain! Left brain I love you!

Beca says with a blank slate on her face. I know.

The lights go out once again with only Benji reappearing on stage once Beca’s pre-recorded voice says the final line. The crowd cheers and hoots for the group and Beca and Jesse emerge from the wings, bowing and bowing when the crowd cheers them on. They eventually make their way down as the host concludes the Variety Show with a couple of school-related announcements. 

Out of Beca’s peripheral vision, she notices a patient redhead, looking at the brunette. She turns to Jesse’s parents and excuses herself, walking over to Chloe. Beca smiles as she tugs on the black necktie she wore for the performance, swaying side to side.

“Becs that was amazing! I didn’t know you can sing so well.” Chloe reaches out to grab Beca’s hand, the brunette notices and gulps a bit loudly, hoping Chloe didn’t hear. The brunette lets out a nervous chuckle and shrugs.”You also look pretty c-cute with that whole tie and collared polo thing...”

“I- I guess. I mean, I don’t sing really often…” Their hands pull away, Chloe still smiling as bright as ever. “Thank you by the way… Jesse gave me it.”

“Well, you look and performed great!” A voice abruptly calls Chloe from the entrance of the auditorium. The redhead snaps her head back towards Beca. “Well, I hope to hang out with you more Becs!” Chloe wraps her arms around the brunette, nearly causing the two to tumble over. The redhead pulls away and winks at Beca. “See you around!”

As the brunette walks back towards Jesse with an astonished expression and a great blush on her face, Chloe walks over to her best friends Aubrey and Stacie who have their eyebrows raised to their hairline. “I thought you didn’t like her?” Stacie asks, waggling her eyebrows

Chloe rolls her eyes and leads the two to her parent’s car. “Well, maybe I do now… hopefully, she does the Variety Show again next year.” The redhead plugs in her earbuds into the audio jack of her phone as she slides into the black leather seats of her mother’s car. “She did pretty great.”

Chloe’s mother begins the drive to a nearby restaurant as the redhead hits a familiar playlist from the day before, it was labeled “Bo Burnham Shit.” A smile washes over 14-year-old Chloe’s face as she imagines Beca singing along to the songs.

[artificialqueens]

5 times Cracker and Brooke broke it off, and 1 time they didn't (Miz Cracker x Brooke Lynn Hytes) - fandomfeministe

A/N: I’m a sucker for a 5+1 fic, and this seemed a good place to start. Thanks to Saiph again for all your help and indulging me in this nonsense! I had such fun with it that if I get any more ideas, more of them might come along…

The line about the pomeranian came from a conversation with Veronica. That laugh is all hers <3

When they got caught out by Kameron

A near-winded gasp for air was the sound that first got Kameron’s attention.

“Oh… god…keep going,” said a familiar voice, a desperate, high-pitched whine threaded through the begging, accompanied by breathless panting that was the sign of someone clearly being given a good time by someone. Kameron, passing by his friend’s dressing room and spotting the slightly opened door, smirked a little as he approached, about to subtly close it before texting Brooke Lynn that she could thank him later. He was just about to wrap his hand around the doorknob before a second speaker became audible, stopping the eavesdropper in his tracks.

“Sssh, I’m repaying the favour, aren’t I? Be fuckin’ patient!” laughed the second man, whose voice was also familiar - so familiar, in fact, that Kameron could picture his face, the corners of his brown eyes wrinkled in laughter before he carried on doing… oh. His own eyes widened, recognising that it was his Season 10 sister, apparently in some kind of encounter with his sister from Tennessee. What the fuck?

Hating himself for feeling like a voyeur but kind of dying to see what was happening, Kameron carefully leaned forward, looking through the gap. There, he could see that his assumptions were right - Cracker on his knees before Brooke Lynn. The former’s hands were holding back the latter’s skirts, dark head confidently bobbing up and down while the blonde’s head tilted back, lipsticked mouth hanging open as the moans began to build. Still confused as to how the fuck these two had ended up this way - especially as they’d clearly been so keen to get started that Brooke’s only move towards de-dragging was getting untucked - a mischievous moment came over their mutual friend with a look on his face to match. With one swift movement, Kameron shut the door loud enough to cause the two men inside to yelp in surprise before he made his escape, being a safe fifteen feet down the corridor and around a corner before pulling out his phone, including both queens’ numbers in a text.

“Don’t be too mad, bitches. Really. It could’ve been Eureka that caught you going at it.”

2. When Bob couldn’t stop laughing

“Hytes? Seriously, bitch?”

Cracker and his drag mother were hanging out at his own place in Harlem, back from the tour where he and his Canadian lover had already tried to break it off once. After Kameron had caught them - and wasted no time in letting them know about it - he and Brooke Lynn had lasted a grand total of a week before falling back into bed round about the time of their gig in Paris, where their night off in the clubs of Montmartre had apparently been quite the aprodiasiac. Even now that they were back in the US, and in whole different time zones, let alone states, things between them hadn’t exactly gone back to PG13. In fact, at this very moment, Cracker was sitting through Bob’s uproarious laughter with the knowledge that Brooke had been sending progressively more filthy text messages all afternoon, and he was wondering what the hell he was going to actually find once he had the chance to check his phone after Bob left.

“I mean, fuck, what is she? 6’1? 6’2? It must be like a pomeranian fucking a Great Dane!” the larger man cackled, laughter ringing off the walls in the small apartment.

Cracker bristled slightly, raising an eyebrow as he looked at his friend. “6’3. And original, Bob, really fuckin’ original. I don’t seem to recall you complaining about it when we were together.”

Bob, seeing the look on his daughter’s face, took a couple of breaths, still giggling a little before eventually settling. “Alright, alright, I’ll drop it. I mean, clearly you got a fucking type, or a complex, but I’ll drop it.” He paused, though, looking more serious this time.

“For real, though, whatever this -” he gestured between the two of them - “is with you guys, you’ve got to think fast about whether it’s worth it. Because if Michaels knows, and I know… who else does? How long’s it going to be before someone tells Vanjie?”

Cracker’s face fell.

“Oh, shit.”

3. When Vanjie found out

Telling Vanjie was not a fun time.

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, Brooke Lynn supposed, but it was still not an experience he would ever care to repeat.

He’d called him when he was in LA, suggested meeting for coffee as they often did, but even on the phone, his ex had been able to tell something was up.

“How long?” he’d asked, his foghorn voice unusually soft. When told the truth - that it had started on the European tour Vanjie hadn’t gone on - he almost snorted with laughter at the same time as looking plaintively at the man across from him. “Think I knew, deep down, you were ready to move on. Didn’t think it’d be with someone I knew so well, though.”

Brooke attempted to protest a little, said that he and Cracker were hardly enough of a thing for them to be considered as ‘moving on’ together, but Vanjie merely raised an eyebrow at him as first response. “Don’t you pull that crap with me. I know you both too well for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You both put up walls and shit. Tried to be public, got hurt, shut down and never told nobody how you felt ‘bout anything since. You both got people saying you got no feelings, but you sure do. Both got so many of ‘em that you don’t know what to do with ‘em, so you act the ho and don’t show anybody what you really got going on. It’s hard for most folks to get that, when they try and give and don’t feel like they got anything back, but you two?” Vanjie shrugged before taking a sip of his coffee. “You two fuckers might actually understand each other.”

It was all Brooke could do to avoid freezing to the spot in panic.

“Oh shit.”

4. When The Vixen told a few home truths

If there was one thing anybody knew about The Vixen, it was that she didn’t pull any punches.

“Hytes? Are you fucking kidding?”

Cracker slid further down into her seat at the bar, visibly cringing at her friend’s vociferous response. “Raise your voice, why don’t you, bitch? There’s a few guys over by the restrooms who can’t hear you!”

“I don’t care!” The Vixen slammed her drink down on the bar, some of the clear liquid within sloshing out and over the sides. “Seriously, I didn’t have you pinned down as having such… such bland tastes.”

“Bland?” Cracker was clearly shocked, her mouth hanging open as she stared at her friend so hard that her eyes even bulged a little. “The hell? You’ve seen how he looks on stage. How he dresses on stage. Shit, some of those finale outfits had people practically drooling, and you call that bland?”

“Tall, blonde, white, polished, pageant queen,” Vixen responded succinctly, counting off each attribute on her fingers. “Tell me how that’s not part of the furniture in any part of the entertainment industry, Cracks. You could spit in the air at Miss Continental and nearly hit ten dudes like him. And you… you’ve always prided yourself on being different. On being weird. Comedy queens don’t usually go for the model girls. Especially when you’re both so…”

“So what?”

“So different.”

“Do you really think he shouldn’t be going for me? Or do you just resent the bitch because of your known thing for his ex?”

For once, The Vixen was stunned into silence. Cracker had slid off his chair, turned and stalked out of the bar before a feeble ‘fuck you’ could even begin to escape his lips.

5. When Nina got concerned

“What is this, an intervention for introverts?” Brooke joked as he walked into Nina’s hotel room with him, the older queen with a recognisably worried look on his face. Their gig had been over for hours, both were long out of drag, and now they were falling into their usual routine of a bitch fest before bed. Only this time, Brooke couldn’t help but feel as though Nina’s mama-bear routine was incoming, and began to steel himself in preparation for a talk about his feelings.

“No, darling, it’s not,” Nina replied with sympathy, sitting down in an armchair by the window after patting the one opposite, motioning for her friend to join her. “I do have some misgivings, though. Maybe you can help me figure it out.”

“About what?”

“You and Cracker.”

Brooke sighed. He’d known this was coming. “Oh, here we go…” the Canadian queen cringed, reaching up to massage his temple, a literal headache forming at the same time as this figurative one. “There’s nothing to have misgivings about. We had… are having… had a thing for a while. It was fun. That’s all there is to it.” He felt his neck warm up at the look on Nina’s face, his old friend sitting there with staring eyes and brows raised unusually, sceptically high. Yep, blushing. He was definitely blushing.

“If it’s nothing, you wouldn’t be stumbling for words.. And… you know the last time I saw you look like that? Like you’d found somebody to spend time with who mattered - mattered enough to make you look like a schoolboy with a crush?”

Don’t say it, Nina. Don’t say it, don’t say it…

“That would be Vanjie. And Brooke, I love you, you know that, but I’ve got to remind you how that turned out.’

Brooke winced, and Nina reached out to him, regretfully picking up a hand and squeezing.

“I don’t want to cause you any embarrassment, but for someone who projects and even dresses like a goddamn ice queen, when you fall, you fall hard. And with the speed this has all happened, yes, I’m concerned for you. I watched you take the heat when it all fell apart with Vanjie and I saw the pain you were in. It’s like the whole thing just shattered you, and I…”

Brooke’s own eyes widened in horror as his best friend choked, his throat constricted and voice trembling. “If that happened to you again, I don’t know that I could handle seeing you hurt. Because you, you’d take it on the chin but wall it all up inside, letting yourself get so fucking lonely…”

With a sudden pang of anguish, Brooke got out of his chair, squished in beside Nina and threw his arms around the older man’s neck, hugging him tight. His chest felt both tight and full to burst at the same time, feeling both pains of guilt and full of appreciation for his friend’s love. “What did I fucking do to deserve you, Nina?” he chuckled softly, resting his head against Nina’s, resting there quietly while he rubbed comforting circles on his back, thumb twisting into the fabric of his shirt.

They both sat there for a while, doing nothing but hold each other and listening to the sound of each other’s breathing. It was true that each queen acted like the other’s support animal, an old joke, but one with an element of truth to be sure. However, while the two men sat quietly, Brooke’s brain began to run overtime, anxiety letting each passing through pull at his brain with increasing agony. Vanjie had alluded to it when they’d broken up, that one day, he was going to feel the way Vanjie did at another man’s hands, and his lack of prior relationships meant that the pain might break him. Cracker might dwell on his reputation, or be afraid of getting into something as serious as there’d been with his ex-fiancé and bolt. Worse, what if he, Brooke, panicked… again? What if he let someone get close to him, fall for him, and be let down by him… again? What if he was responsible for Cracker being broken by a man who screwed him over… again? Brooke wasn’t sure if he could cope knowing that he’d destroyed not one, but two people he cared about. Three, he supposed, if he counted the thought of disappointing Nina.

God, he was such a fuckup.

When they realised it could actually turn out OK

It seemed to Cracker, as he lay there in Brooke Lynn’s arms, that neither one of them seemed to know how to escape the other. At his last count, they’d tried to break it off a whole five times - sometimes one, sometimes the other, sometimes both - and every time they’d found their way back to each other. It was almost as if they were a pair of magnets, drawn to each other so tightly that whenever they were separated, they ended up slamming right back towards each other, no choice but to deal with it, but the natural thing to do all the same.

He drew patterns on his lover’s taut arm muscles as he slept, feather light touches to match his own spirit. Watching him lying there, peaceful in his slumber, was weirdly soothing - not that Cracker quite understood why. Still, there they were, the smaller queen reluctant to move - not just because of the risk of disturbing Brooke’s rest, but because he too felt safe, strong arms keeping him held there.

He couldn’t help but smile as he watched Brooke’s eyes open slowly, the exhaustion writ large on his face as it tilted up to face him.

“Hey,” Brooke mumbled, his words muffled a little against Cracker’s shoulder. “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah, you did,” the other man replied fondly, kissing the top of his lover’s head. “Can’t say I blame you, though. You were being kept quite busy earlier…”

Brooke blushed a little, but grinned nonetheless. The memory of their afternoon together was definitely a happy one, full of laughter and mutual pleasure, ending up in a tangle of limbs under the covers. Their reunion, a good month and a half since they’d been at gigs anywhere near each other, had been more than needed. It was as if each was a human comfort blanket for the other, providing the security each other needed in their minds as well as their tired out bodies. Brooke himself had been surprised to feel this at first, but in a way, it made sense. They made sense. There wasn’t any pressure between them to be romantic, exclusive or any kind of fantasy - and in the greatest sense of irony, that had only made the Canadian happier to be in the arms of the Seattle-born queen.

It felt good to be understood. Understood was more important than anything to him.

“You know something?” he asked, prompting Cracker’s brown eyes to gaze into his.

“Mmm?”

“I think we’re gonna be OK.”

Crackler chuckled, then made an affectionate sound in the back of his throat as Brooke looked confused by his response. “No, I mean, I’m glad you think so… but what brought this on?” he asked, reaching around the pillow to twirl a finger into his blond hair.

Brooke shuffled a little so he could look at his lover properly, watching each emotion as it flickered across his face. “I’ve just been thinking… honesty between people in our position, it has to be a good thing, right?”

“Right.”

“I feel like… it’s easy to be honest. Like, that you’re going to get it, and I don’t have anything to be sick with worry about in telling you what I want. And that… that makes me happy, because… because I’m not forcing anything. This is me, this is what I want, and…” another pause, as he slid a hand down the other man’s back. “…I’m all in. Promise.”

A smile, eyes that crinkled at the edge and the gentle touch of Cracker’s lips on his was all the response he needed.

[lovemesomesurveys]

What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? Cingular Wireless. 

What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Tumblr, YouTube, and Twitter. 

Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. I like all my jeans, they’re all dark wash skinny jeans. 

What profession do you respect? Anyone who works with the disadvantaged and is paid pennies for it – social workers, homeless/domestic violence shelter employees, animal rescuers, etc. High-stress jobs with no financial reward, basically. <<< Yes!

Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? No.

Have you ever ate something you’ve dropped on the floor, if so what? Nooo. That 5 second rule is a lie.

Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? I don’t have a car, nor can I drive, which are both kinda necessary. IF I could, I still wouldn’t. I’d be scared to have strangers in my car.

How do you know when you’re in love, what’s the main sign? I actually want to be around the person for long periods of time. <<< Ha, yeah that’s definitely a sign for me as well. 

Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? Jim Carrey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Drake Bell.

Do you prefer Walmart or Target? Target.

What do you long for? My vacation next year. 

If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? No thanks.

What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? Take better care of myself.  What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? My mind will just start to wander after awhile and if I focus on trying to stay focused, I become too focused on being focused. Did you follow any of that? lol.

Do you think society has become too PC (politically correct)? I think in some cases people are too quick to attack others. Some people truly may just be ignorant about a topic or accidentally misspoke about something, but people are so quick to attack and make them out to be the worst person in the world. Try educating others instead. Some people act like they know everything and never say the wrong thing ever.

What tragic love story do you relate to? None.

Has your intuition or “gut” served you well? In some cases.

What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line for something and what was it? Midnight premieres. My friends and I would get there an hour or two early and you just hang around until they start letting people in. It was fun, though. We’d bring blankets and a bunch of snacks. 

Who is your favorite model? I don’t have one.

What have you done that is out of character for you? I used to be the friend everyone could come and talk to. I was dependable. A few years ago I pushed everyone away and became distant and withdrawn. I’m not that dependable person anymore.

Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? I appreciate either one.

Who is the most visionary person in your life & how do they inspire you? Uhhh.

How do you handle a betrayal? I’d be hurt, but I’d also likely blame myself.

What do you feel strong enough to protest about? I’ve never protested before. 

What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? My life.

If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? To play along with your hypothetical game I’d have a cafe. 

What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? Medical supplies and shoes. 

What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? I still haven’t learned how to drive.

What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? I don’t know.

Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? No.

Do you believe in karma? No.

Are you more worried about doing the things right, or doing the right thing? I can worry about both. They are not mutually exclusive. <<< Yeah. They’re not even the same thing. Doing things right can be like following instructions and such, while doing the right thing is like what you think is morally right.

Do you believe in the term “Mother knows best? My mom often does. If I would have just listened to her advice some things would certainly be a lot different. Even now. I’m so damn stubborn. 

Who is your favorite movie action hero? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Star Lord, and Thor.  

What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can’t get elsewhere? Hm. Nothing is coming to mind, honestly. 

How important are looks in someone you’re in a relationship with? I just answered this in another survey. They’re not the most important thing, it’s gotta be deeper than just looks, but I can’t say they don’t matter at all.

What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? Uhhh.

What are you most thankful for? My family.

Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? Well, as far as talk shows go I like to watch Daily Pop and Dr. Phil. Sometimes The Talk as well.

What was the last book you read? Because of Bethlehem by Max Lucado.

What’s your favorite online store? The places I shop online the most are: Hot Topic, BoxLunch, Kohl’s, Amazon, and Etsy.

What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? I don’t wanna do that. I couldn’t handle it.

If you were to throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, it would say? “Hi.” lol.

Do you have common sense or do you think people are lacking in it? It doesn’t seem to be very common sometimes. You either got it or you don’t, and it does seem to be lacking.

What’s your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Coffee.

How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? Not my thing.

What do you like to put gravy on? Mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, and ham. I love country gravy on my eggs. 

Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Nope.

What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? Nothing.

What is priceless to you? Time with my family. 

What do you wait for discount sales to buy? I always look for a good sale and use coupon codes whenever I can.

What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? I honestly don’t know a whole lot. I’d really like to do that ancestry test.

What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? It changes.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Hmm. 

Do you keep a budget? I try. 

If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? Nah.

What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Spending time at the beach is the only thing that can make me feel that way.

What is the funniest joke you have ever heard about? I don’t know what I’d say the funniest joke I ever heard was.  Who depends on you the most? No one.

Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Ha, no. I’m very thin, weak, and in a wheelchair. No offense to anyone else who may also be any of those things, but I know I couldn’t protect anyone. I’m also a scardy cat, easily intimidated, and non-confrontational, so... I’d really be of no use at all.

Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. And some will eventually... they’re inevitable. :(

Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don’t understand? There’s a lot I don’t understand about people in general.

Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? If so, what were two things you wanted? I only list things like that when asked in a survey. It comes up a lot.

Have you ever ridden on a subway or train an what did you like about it? Nope.

What song on your playlist gets played the most? My Spotify wrap up thingy listed all that, but I don’t feel like checking it again right now.

Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? Academic.

Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? No. I have a strong instinct for empathy. <<<

Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? Yes.

Finish the next line in your style: Roses are red, violets are blue… I’m tired, how are you?

What embarrasses you instantly? When I start mixing my words around when I speak. <<< Saaaame. I trip over my words, too. 

Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? Nope. Well, there’s the wheelchair for one.

Do you often read your horoscope? I never do.

What current event are you tired of hearing about? Trump.

Are you a daredevil? Ha, nope.

What common pitfalls do you find yourself dealing with in your work life? I don’t have a job.

Describe your “poker face”. >> My resting face is a poker face. People tend to read all kinds of things into it (usually negative things), because I guess they can’t stand a simple blank slate. <–Me. We’re so misunderstood. Haha. <<< Me, too. 

What do you think should be censored? I don’t see the issue with curse words being censored. I just never understood why you can say some, but not others. 

Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Possibly.

Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? I don’t know.

How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? My relationship with God.

Have you ever fired a gun? Yes. I went to a shooting range once with friends.

Do you think people, including yourself live up to their full potential? I’m not doing anything with my life. :/ I don’t feel like I have much potential, either.

How are you different from most people? I’m different from people I know in a lot of ways. Like, people I know are functioning adults and I’m not.

What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Understanding is definitely one. There’s a lot of things, though.

What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? Dogs.

Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? Yeah. I’ve stayed up for over 30 hours. I honestly don’t know I ever did that. I could never now.

Who is a female role model in your life? My mom.

What childhood dreams have you neglected? The ones where I was doing something with my life.

How often do you reevaluate your life? I don’t. I am aware of what my life looks like at any given time. I don’t need to sit down and think deeply about it to realize I need to change something I’m doing; I am well aware of my faults and negative habits.  <<< Just gonna keep all your answers.

What’s your favorite place just to hang out? My bed.

What gives you a zest for life? This makes me think of this thing I saw on Twitter that said something like, “I thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, not stressed, depressed, lemon zest”, ha.

What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My mind is a jumbled mess. 

What three things do you think of most of each day? God, my health, and my life.

Would you travel to space if possible? Nopeeee. Just the idea of space is terrifying to me. 

Name a famous person you wouldn’t mind for a business partner. I don’t want a business partner. I’m not doing anything in business. 

[leejeongz]

The Boyz Confession (Hyung line)

🥺Okay so in order to thank you all for 2k (still shook) I decided to write something for tbz. Lmk if you want me to continue🥺

😬they aren’t the best... don’t bully me ajsbsjsn😬

Sangyeon:

Of course your time together was limited but that’s how it had always been. You became friends after he debuted, meeting through a mutual friend at the company who knew you’d love each other. You exchanged numbers and both quickly developed feelings for the other, you made each other happy at a time when you thought no one could, that’s really important to you both. After about 3 months of incessant flirting Sangyeon decided he’d had enough, it was time to make you his. He was sat alone in the practice room, texting you to come and watch him practice to give pointers. You arrived wearing his favourite outfit on you, but anything you wore he loved. You sat on the floor expecting him to dance yet he came and joined you on the floor, resting his head on your shoulder as you stretched your legs out. He was sweating a little, but you didn’t mind. It was moments like this that you treasured the most but admittedly he’d never been this intimate with you before. You weren’t complaining though.

“You know” he looked up at you, pouting, while his hand found yours “I think it’s time we became an official couple” he awaited your answer which seemed to take years when in actuality it was seconds.

“I think so too” you confessed looking down at his handsome face and smiling before pecking his lips lightly.

Jacob:

Jacob always loved when you stayed over at the dorms, especially this time since it was just you two alone. Since you were in Korea alone, with no family around, when you got sick the boys took extra special care of you, one boy in particular always ready for whatever you threw at him. You lay awake in Jacob’s bed, they had left you alone to nap while they went to practice, telling Jacob to stay with you to keep you company, but you couldn’t sleep. If it was this easy to get alone time with your crush, you would have faked being sick a long time ago, you thought, staring at the ceiling. Just as you started to daydream about your fantasy relationship, Jacob walked in and took a seat on the edge of the bed, resting his hand on your stomach and turning to face you.

“You even look pretty when your sick” he said with a sweet smile. You thanked him for the compliment yet he continued. “No I mean it! Like you always look pretty, whatever you do. And being alone with you, even if you are poorly, is basically a dream come true.”

You smiled in return. “I’d kiss you right now if I wasn’t sick” you joked as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead instead. He’d really risk it all for you.

Younghoon:

“And is there a special someone you’d like to dedicate this cover to?” The MC asked as Younghoon warmed up to sing thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran.

He clasped his hands together, like he usually does while he’s nervous. “Actually there is, I’d currently consider them my best friend but who knows what will happen” He explained with you in mind. You didn’t really know anyone else who Younghoon was as close to as you, expect his members but come on... like he’d give into fans ideology like that. You knew it was about you, you didn’t want to act oblivious (after analysing everyone it could have been) you felt exactly the same way. As the song finished your whole body sunk back into the sofa in content after being sat at the edge of it for so long while listening to his soft vocals.

“Their name is actually y/n” he confessed out of no where. “Their favourite artist is Ed Sheeran and I know to fans and whatnot this may seem out of character but I had to say it. I really like them and-” he rushed out before the mc quickly interrupted and changed the subject.

He called you after the show, asking if you’d watched and how you felt. He didn’t want to ask you to be his but he already knew you were when you offered to take him out that night. The date went well, well enough to confirm your new relationship status.

Hyunjae:

Typically you, Hyunjae and a few mutual friends went bowling one Friday a month, and you all looked forward to it, but exam season was here and your friends all had to cancel due to studying. You, however, were “dragged” out by Hyunjae who said that you deserved a break. Any time you could spend with him you’d gladly take to be honest, you were madly in love with him, who wouldn’t be.

“Are you ready for our date?” Hyunjae asked that morning over the phone. You couldn’t really tell if he meant it so you just replied with a competitive “I’m totally gonna win!”

He laughed lightly “maybe, because it’s you, I’ll let you have the bumpers up” his flirty tone was evident.

“You want to lose that much, babes?” you joked back, knowing that pet names were his weakness.

After that Hyunjae changed the subject, ending the call when you told him you had to get to your exam. “Good luck! Don’t get distracted by the thought of our date too much!” He ended with before hanging up.

When you arrived that night outside the bowling place, he greeted you with a kiss on the cheek. You pulled back and gave him a puzzled look. “Aw cute you thought I was joking about this being a date” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder while you smiled to yourself, him doing exactly the same.

“How did you know I was into guys like you?” You asked hoping to irritate Hyunjae yet he just responded with “who wouldn’t be?” before planting another peck onto your temple.

Juyeon:

Winter was your favourite season, no doubt about it, however, as silly as it sounds, you hated the cold. Your fingers, you thought, were legitimately going to fall off by the time you reached your house and considering it was basically night time, it was even colder than you had originally anticipated. One thing you were grateful for was Juyeon. The handsome boy who always took care of you, during and after your “extra curricular activities” walking you home and keeping you safe. Even though it was only 5pm, it was pitch black outside and of course rush hour traffic was in full effect. The biggest and busiest roads in your town was approaching and it almost as if Juyeon could sense the anxiety building up inside you. He took hold of your hand, your mitten sliding off slightly.

“It’s okay y/n I’m here” he said while standing next to you at the edge of the road. “Come on” he pulled you to the middle section made for pedestrians in between the two directions of traffic.

“Juyeon” you paused. “You don’t have to told my hand you know” you said, secretly not wanting him to let go.

“What if I want to?” He questioned with a barely visible smirk in the low lighting. “What if this was my plan all along?” He chuckled this time.

“I know what you’re saying Juyeon...” excitement evident in your voice. You weren’t about playing those “oblivious dumb crush” games... not when what you wanted was serious.

“Hm you know I control the weather? No fun” he joked pulling your mitten off and securing his hand in yours. “My hand will be warmer anyway.”

Kevin:

The clock was at 11:50pm and it was New Year’s Eve, you couldn’t believe you were entering yet another year single. You watched the man of your dreams, Kevin, walk in your direction, if only he was coming over to proclaim his love for you, you wished in your head.

“Hey y/n, you ready for the new year?” He asked casually, taking a seat on the couch next to you putting his arm over the back of it after setting his cup of coke on the floor alongside yours. He clearly hadn’t had anything alcohol wise to drink and neither had you, the only two sober ones in the room and the only two that could converse like normal human beings.

“There’s nothing new about being alone” you said grumpily, averting your eyes.

“Heyyy no don’t say that y/n, look at me” you turned back to him with a cloud of shame above you. He tucked your hair behind your ear and smiled, not moving his hand from the side of your face. “Who said you were gonna be alone anyway?” He questioned with a wink. “Oh by the way that’s me asking you to be my bae.” He clarified.

“Wait are you serious?” You still asked, just to be 100% clear. The clock just seconds away from 11:59 when the big countdown would begin.

“I mean I can prove it to you with a kiss in just 1 minute if you’re prepared to wait” he grabbed your drink and picked his own up off the floor before helping you off the couch and wrapping his arm around your waist. Maybe this year wasn’t going to be as awful as you expected.

New:

Your previous position: next to Chanhee on the boys’ shared couch, where you felt the most at home. Your current position: not next to Chanhee. You were actually in the kitchen after being called for by Kevin who was trying to work the pop corn machine you’d brought to the dorm. When you tried to get up, New whined, when you eventually got up, New whined, now you weren’t even in his eye line, New whined even more. “Where’s y/n gone? I miss them” he moaned loudly, the point being that you’d hear him. You finished up trying to sort out kevin as quick as you could before going back to the living room in which Chanhee sat like a toddler, knees up to his chin.

“What’s up buttercup?” You asked and you sat besides him again. Chanhee returned to his usual sitting position, a little closer to you than normal but you didn’t mind.

“Ugh will you two get a room for goodness sake” Hyunjae spoke up. “Chanhee, this is y/n, they are madly in love with you. Y/n, this is Chanhee, he’s madly in love with you. Now leave us to watch our movie in peace.” He pointed between you two as the other members nodded.

“Someone’s a little grumpy” you laughed, facing down to see Chanhee “he’s not wrong though” you both said quickly at the same time. You soon found yourself in your now boyfriend’s room. “So you really like me huh?” He asked continuously for an hour.

Gifs aren’t mine

[linoholic]

Poly!Hyungki

Requested: @skylions-den asked: Could you please do a poly!Hyungwon and Kihyun bulletpoint? 

Pairing: Monsta X Kihyun x Hyungwonho x Reader

Genre: poly!au, college!au

Warnings: drinking, mentions of sex but nothing actually written

sorry this took so long love x

Despite what most people expected, you loved working the night shift at a restaurant

It was a small family owned business, tucked away in one of Seouls many side streets

It was near a lot of pubs, bars and karaoke places, and so you always got the drink (off of both alcohol and sleep deprivation) customers coming in on your shift

And while yes, some of them were rowdy and not all that pleasant to serve, the majority of people stopping by for their mid bar hopping snack were interesting characters

You had witnessed every type of drunk person ever

The ones who told bad jokes every five seconds, the ones who flirted with you, the ones who flirted with their food, the drunk singers, the emotional ones who cried and proposed to you when their food was brought out, the ones that decided you needed to know their life story

You had met people from all walks of life; the rich to the poor, the socialites to the loners, the young to the old

It may have started off as a part time job to simply get money because you are a broke was college student but you came to love it

Also all your classes were afternoon ones, and so having the night shift means you are free to sleep in till noon if you wanted to, which you most definitely did

Plus you got to take home some of the leftover food when the place closed, so there was no surviving off of ramen for you

As much as you love your job however 

Sometimes you were pulling your hair out from the stress

And tonight was one of those nights

It was quarter past eleven at night and you were four hours into your shift

And you were cursing every deity out there for sending a particular group of customers to this particular restaurant

It was a group of three middle aged men, drunker than drunk and collectively every negative that you can think of which comes with that

They had already made one of you co-workers this close to crying, so you decided to take one for the team and put your college student 'I'm too tired to give a fuck'-ness to good use

Cue the sarcastic smiles and the "of course, right away" 's in tones you would use on a toddler

You had managed to keep your patience so far, until they sent too far and you completely lost it

You were walking past their table when suddenly one of them grabbed your leg

Or more precisely, your thigh

Very high up on your thigh

Jumping in shock, you turn around to face the guy

 "Remove your hand now." You say, eyes narrowed and lips in a snarl

 However, the guy just smirks and moves his hand higher, squeezing slightly

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you take one of the drinks on the tray you were carrying and just - tip it over his head

The man lets go and stands up in anger, and you take a few steps back as he goes to grab at your arm

Before he can do so though, a group of guys are standing between you and him, and the owner is rushing over

One of the guys, Minhyuck as he introduces himself, checks on you while the other two, Wonho and Jooheon help the owner escort the trouble group out of the building

And that is now you meet 3/7 of Monsta X

Well, that's what Changkyun keeps renaming their group chat to anyways

Minhyuk, being the social butterfly he is, starts chatting with you, and when he finds out you to go the same college as him and his friends, he is determined to be your friend

But of course Minhyuk is a total sunshine and so why would you say no to him?

You wouldn't

So yeah, now you have three new friends

Which turns to seven when they introduce you to their other friends

So congrats! Look at you making friends

Fast forward a few months and everything is perfect

The guys are now your best friends, your jobs is going well still, studying is hard and college is a hitch but what can you expect

All in all life is going pretty well for you

And it gets even better one night

It is just another night at work

It is going much better than the one from before

A group of cute tipsy girls came in and kept the compliments flowing 

Even if you don't swing that way you couldn't help but blush at their cute flirting, and they really got you feeling more confident than anyone had gotten you feeling in years

There was also one old couple who had decided to tip you very generously, causing you to spend the rest of the night debating over whether you should buy yourself that jacket you want or save up for the new laptop you desperately need

What really made your night is when two of your friends, Hyungwon and Kihyun dropped by

What out you in a really good mood however is the fact that a pair of handcuffs were attached to their wrists

Snickering at their pouting faces, you take their orders before asking, "So...why the handcuffs?"

 "Long story short, Hyungwon was annoying me, the others got tired of our 'bickering', so they handcuffed us together when we fell asleep on the couch before kicking us out for some 'bonding time's as they put it," Kihyun says while scowling at his wrist

 "I just wish they waited too tomorrow to do so. I just want to sleep," Hyungwon pouts 

 You huff in amusement before returning to work, stopping by their table every now and then when business was slow (which isn't all that often despite it being almost ten on a Thursday night)

You have to act as the mediator when they start bickering over how to use their utensils, considering they are slightly hindered thanks to the handcuffs

At first they try to take it in turns, which gets them nowhere

In the end you jokingly suggest one feed the other,

At first they both grimace at the idea, though as Hyungwon gets more lazy the mother in Kihyun appears and he is feeding tteokbokki to the younger boy

At one point you see Hyungwon basically falling asleep where he sits, still chewing his food and you can't help but coo over how cute it is

Well, until Kihyun kicks him in the shin to wake him up

(You definitely notice the soft look in his eyes as he looks at Hyungwon though, something he threatens you to keep quiet about when you mention it to him)

The two decide to stay until the end of your shift at half eleven, at which point you all leave to head back to campus together

You walk between the two, allowing them to hide their joined wrists behind your back

As you walk through the streets, Kihyun makes a detour and he pulls you and a grumbling Hyungwon into a karaoke place

And even though your feet ache from being on them for hours, you can't help but give in to his excited smile, the same going for Hyungwon

So there you are, slightly tipsy from the soju and pretending to cry with Hyungwon, fake sobbing over the emotional ballad Kihyun is singing

Or you are challenging him to a high note battle, doing your best to sing 'Tears' in the original key

Hyungwon decides to become a rapper and spits out some bars, which you record and send to the group chat, leaving Jooheon and Changkyun shook with his skills (that wasn't at all sarcastic, I swear~)

The night see with the three of you walking the streets of Seoul, hands all linked and laughing out loud as Kihyun serenades the night sky and Hyungwon uses you both as his walking pillows

You end up back at your dorm, considering it was both closer and empty of roommate's (as your previous roomie had dropped out of college) 

Finally managing to unlock the door, you all call into the room, becoming a mess of limbsok

For a minute the three of you just lay their giggling, before you finally pull yourself and the other two up

However, you weren't expecting them to also help themselves up, and so you use too much strength and all of a sudden you are lying on your bed with Kihyun and Hyungwon on top of you

None of you really know who initiated it, but the next thing you know you are shirtless and searching the room for something to undo their cuffs with with they continue to make out on your bed

The next morning when Minhyuk and Wonho come by with the key for the handcuffs, they get a big surprise to find you all huddled together, clothes strewn about the room and handcuffs hanging off of one of your bedposts 

Minhyuk being Minhyuck decides to scream in shock, waking you all up

Getting up, you quickly throw a blanket around your shoulders before pushing the two shellshocked Ken and shutting the door, sliding down it and whining about your massive headache

Thankfully, things aren't too awkward when you all remember the previous nights occurences, mainly thanks to the massive hangovers you are all experiencing and being too preoccupied with handling that

Kihyun, the one least affected, makes you and Hyungwon drink some water and take some pills before going down to the dorms communal kitchen to make some breakfast for the three of you

During which time Hyungwon falls back asleep cuddling into your side and you are on your phone getting back at your nosy friends who are constantly asking questions by spamming them with various unflattering and meme-worthy photos you had gathered over the months you had known them

About twenty minutes go by before Kihyun returns, and when he does so his whole face is red

It turns out that underclassmen Soonyoung and Jeonghan had cornered him in the kitchen, which ending up with him bribing them with breakfast to keep them quiet

(Turns out Minhyuk hadn't exactly been quiet)

After waking up Hyungwon and eating, you decide to start the dreaded conversation about, well, sleeping together

During the talk lots of thoughts and feelings were revealed

It turns out that the teasing between the two men had built up a lot of sexual tension, which simply grew when they met you and both low-key became really attracted to you

And you may have also grown some of those lovely feelings to the two during the time which you had known them

So yay! All feelings are mutual! 

You decide to take initiative and ask the two out on a proper first date, insisting that karaoke and sex the night before was definitely not your first date

The first few days are a bit awkward, but you quickly adapt to the transition from friendship to dating

And after a few dates and such you are calling them your boyfriends and there is no weirdness to be seen or felt

You quickly realise that your role in your little team is peacemaker

Just because Kihyun and Hyungwon are now boyfriends doesn't mean they tease each other any less, in fact, if anything they do it more

You never have and never will take sides however, having learned from that one time you laughed when Hyungwon teased Kihyun about his height, which ended up with being refused both food and kisses from the shorter boy

In fact, one of your nicknames is now Switzerland, and when any of the Monsta X boys have a problem with one of the others, they say they "Are off to Switzerland"

Being a photography student, Kihyun always has his camera close by and he is always taking photos of you and Hyungwon

Sometimes he makes you pose and sometimes they are candids

He won't admit it to anyone but those are his favourites; the ones where you are staring off into the distance with small smiles on your faces, daydreaming about who knows what

His phone wallpaper is one he took of you and Hyungwon in the college library, heads together while studying and the evening light spilling over you like a blanket of gold 

He is also a selfie fiend, constantly sending them to the group chat you three share, and he gets pouty if you don't compliment him 

Neither you nor Hyungwon really mind stroking his ego though because the boy deserves it so much, especially do wondering how much he takes care of you

Exams stressing you out? Kihyun is their with blankets and ice cream to eat while he quizzes you and helps you make flashcards

Feeling physically insecure? Kihyun is there being greasy and kisses every part of your body he loves and why (aka your whole body is gonna get some loving)

As a linguistics major, Hyungwon loves to recite things to you and Kihyun in various languages

Sometimes it will be really cheesy and romantic stuff like, "the stars wish upon themselves that they could shine as bright as you"

But it could also be something like "giraffes and eggs hide in pajamas"

Somedays he will only speak in the language he is learning, so as to gain better understanding of it

And while you and Kihyun understand why, it gets annoying having to type his answer into Google translate when you simply want to know if he wants to go out for dinner or order in takeout

He also has a habit of making you and Kihyun feel unaddressed considering he likes to dress like a Parisian model most days, in his slim for trousers and long coat with a shift you are sure he is too broke to afford

He does give good advice whenever you to shopping with him though, so you put up looking like a troll between your visuals for boyfriends because their plenty of benefits to dating the two

Such as the nights you stay in hinge watching dramas as Kihyun attempts to teach you his skincare routine (you decide to stick with your usual facewash, moisturiser and the occasional cute animal printed sheet mask, despite Kihyuns convincing)

A lot of the time dates arsenal dates, something which Hyungwon did his best to push the idea of, which wasn't hard when he reminded you that you are all broke af college students

Sometimes though Kihyun likes to treat you and take you both out to a nice restaurant or something

And though they really aren't neccessary, you do enjoy seeing your two boys looking rapper in their suits with their hair done nice and make-up flawless

(You enjoy taking the suits off just as much as you enjoy seeing them on though, if not more 😉😉)

The three of you become your colleges favourite Instagram couple (trouple?) Because y'all are just that sweet and aesthetic together

The two like to visit you at your workplace a lot, so much so that you think your boss loves them more than you do

And neither of them turn down the free food your boss gives them

Karaoke nights also become a tradition, with Kihyun taking the chance to show of by singing love songs to you and Hyungwon and being extra greasy

Which usually ends up with a repeat of your first karaoke session (handcuffs included sometimes: Kihyun loves them on Hyungwon or you)

It ended rather abruptly but as usual I don't know how to end things sorry :\

[spideychelle-romanogers]

Not Supposed To

A Cold and Broken Hallelujah - Chapter 3 Scene 1

A/N: Next one probably coming in less than an hour.  || T/W: none || This Marathon’s Masterlist 

From the beginning, Peter and Michelle didn’t get to enjoy the epic romance that was entitled to them. It’s been 16 years since they first met and their lives were intertwined all along the way in tragic, inescapable ways neither of them can understand. Pulled apart by their conflicts, aspirations, and secrets, they lived their lives dodging their magnetic attraction to each other’s fates, pushing themselves into problem marriages that have left them feeling trapped. 

After Peter’s wife Gwen divorces him, Peter is expected at Midtown Science’s Decathlon Team’s yearly reunion. As he and Michelle gear up to see each other again for what may be the last time, they both try to understand how it is they got to such a dark place. 

Present - 2037 - 32 years old

Though they were all mild-mannered by nature, it took the reunion group no time to get drunk. Sitting in the smallest cabin where they’d have always have drinks before unpacking, Peter could barely concentrate on the conversation at hand. Ned was away trying to fetch firewood as the team chatted. Peter didn't take a sip of anything they were drinking, afraid of what it might do to him to lose a full grip on his composure. He sat with Liz, happy to be seeing her again. Though he held one of the heaviest secrets in his life from her, he was happy to see her father's past crimes didn't affect her future.

The only problem with talking to her was she liked to bring up Michelle. The two of them went to Harvard together, a blessing on Liz's part since she got away with changing her last name so people wouldn’t think of her father when she applied. She and Michelle weren't best friends but their shared experience led to Liz's constant mention of her, especially now that Michelle was a success. At times, it was as if Liz lived vicariously through her just a bit. Peter could understand why, with how Liz’s life was going. He didn’t want to stay on that thought too long, knowing Liz was in a much better situation than he was so he was in no place to judge.

However, she like all of them had her fair share of accomplishments. Looking around the mini bar with the chairs holding pulled in tightly, Peter realized by job title alone they made a worthy roundtable set. Smiling to himself, he was startled when his thoughts were interrupted so suddenly.

"How's the company, Peter?" Cindy asked when she noticed he was being too quiet.

"Stark Industries is doing great," Peter volunteered in a rehearsed manner, not knowing how much more to go into it. He forgot often that people would see him as a success. He never really saw it that way, knowing he’d done little to inherit the company and barely deserved it as he pushed the work onto more talented, more deserving people.

Flash looked particularly happy to hear things were going well, though. His admiration of Peter became clear as the years went on. Having enjoyed his time at Cornell studying applied physics, Flash ultimately ended up meeting Peter again in business school at Wharton. They’d become study mates, bonding over how grateful they were that Flash had stopped bullying him soon after their sophomore year, or else they never could have been friends. Considering that Ned had gone to a different school and Peter had only just lost Tony that same year, he needed Flash’s company at the time even if their bond was more about mutual benefit than true friendship.

In the last year or so, however, Flash seemed to have had a change of heart. The longer they spent with each other, the more of himself Peter began to see in Flash. Peter couldn’t go one minute without thinking of why that could be. They all knew Flash’s living tragedy. No one would touch on the subject. Except, well, Betty. Betty had a way of calling Liz and Flash’s miserable dynamics to mind, often making the group go silent.

Tried as Peter did to convince Flash to take up work that he loved, ultimately Flash stuck to his career as a stockbroker. However aged and unhappy he looked when he turned up at reunions, he’d done well for himself, turning a significant fortune to secure his family’s future. It clearly wasn’t what Flash wanted, but it was what he’d chosen. There were some things that Peter couldn’t always save people from, and that was their own decisions.

"I tell my friends about you all the time," Flash piped in cheerily. "You should see the looks on their faces. They hate you."

"Thanks?" Peter asked hesitantly, a small smile growing on his face.

"They're just jealous," he assured Peter. Their drinks were running low as Flash gestured well wishes with his glass and downed the small amount left in it. Liz had a sympathetic smile on her face as she looked at Flash before turning again to Peter. Peter pretended not to have been paying attention to that, knowing well that his mind was trying to draw conclusions between the two of them.

"Yeah, I still can't believe you and Tony Stark were so close," Liz piped up. "No wonder you were working so hard." She smiled at the reference to their time together at Midtown. Unlike the others, Liz seemed to consider herself a little bit of an outsider during these visits, only having had a little under a year and a half with their group before she had to transfer schools.

Peter shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah."

Betty quirked an eyebrow at him and Peter hoped to himself she wouldn't say anything. Unfortunately, he wasn't very lucky. Betty could never really help herself. "I'm sorry if this is hard for you to talk about." Suddenly all eyes were on him. It all clicked together for him again. As good as Betty was at seeming innocent, her facetious voice was the exact same as her usual voice. She had no tells when she lied. One would have to draw their own conclusions about what she did and didn’t mean. Peter always chose to take her words at face value, but in times like these, he remembered what a mistake that really was.

Peter opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the energy to lie. Sighing out, he tried again just before Flash rescued him. "Should we make a toast to Iron Man, guys?" he suggested.

“I need water first,” Cindy announced suddenly, clearly holding in her stomach’s unrest from all of their drinks. She and Flash were always the most careful about composure during these retreats. While the rest drank themselves over the edge, they’d both calculate in their heads so carefully that Peter could practically see them working out the math of how much they’d have to eat or how much water they’d need to drink to stay sober. “Betty, where are the waters?”

“In the main cabin,” she explained, quiet as Cindy made her way out. Just seven of them left at the table, Sally and Abraham excused themselves to go have a smoke. Betty suddenly turned to Eugene. “Can you fetch Ned and tell him we’re about to make a toast?” Her tone was sharper than it should have been. Betty’s commanding nature had Eugene out of the room in seconds. “No spouses this year, huh?” Betty brought up suddenly. Peter did everything to tell himself she wasn’t bringing this up for any particular reason.

Liz looked measured as she answered. “It seemed like a bad time,” she said carefully, a little hushed as though it would mean Peter wouldn’t hear her. Looking up, he could see her eyes flicker forward again as if she hadn’t looked at him.

They all hadn’t brought their spouses because of his divorce.

Jesus.

His tongue in his cheek as he bit down, Peter did his best not to look annoyed. “Come on,” Flash consoled, seemingly in tune with his reaction. He didn’t seem to be a part of what Liz said at all. “Let’s just have our toast. Maybe you can tell us a story. We drone on every year about our lives but you never talk about what’s going on at work.” The offer was consoling in tone, as though Flash wanted Peter to have an opportunity he was deprived of. Peter didn’t even know what kind of story he was asking for.

“About wh-” Peter’s confusion was met with its match quickly. Flash meant one about Tony. He wanted Peter to tell a story about Tony.

It was a reasonable and even possibly a kind request. Letting someone reminisce about a decade-old loss was not intrusive, especially not when someone had played such a big part in making Peter’s future as Tony did. It wasn’t unreasonable. It was what they came to these retreats for. It was an intelligent distraction from talk about the divorce. Peter had a successful life; if he was the kind to brag, this offer would be everything. For anyone else, this would have been a great idea.

Pulling a bit on the high collar of his sweater as though it was choking him, Peter swallowed hard. “We’ll need more wine for the toast.” He just needed to get away from the pressure to collect himself. It was too much, too fast, too soon to talk about Tony. It wasn’t something he’d ever learned to compose himself about. As he got up, Betty mimicked him.

“I’ll help you!” Peter did his best to hide his cringe as he nodded. Turning to the other two, she chimed a few words that made Peter walk away faster as he turned back: “Keep it PG, you two,” she sing-songed at their two friends. Both of whom were married to other people. If that was Betty’s version of a joke for Liz and Flash, he didn’t want to know what was clearly in store for him.

Turning back out of curiosity, he could see Flash avert his eyes carefully and watch Liz swallow down a reply. She curled her lips into what almost looked like an amused smile, overshadowed by the mix of surprise and confusion in her eyes. Though from what he knew, Liz and Flash did not know about the rumors among the group, he would have expected them to say something about Betty’s strange suggestion. Instead, Liz just looked perplexed.

On the other hand, Flash just smiled awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to reply. Betty studied their reactions before turning to Peter as if she couldn’t understand why he was still there. She gestured for him to walk on as they went in search of the mini wine cellar.

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[mockjesse]

100 important questions about jesse girard.

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

jesse thomas girard

Where and when were you born?

i was born in wilmington, north carolina on october 1st, 1988.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

hans girard ( my father) has owned his own pub since he first came to america in 1986. he’s hard working, emotionally distant, and very a man of few words. hans only speaks when he absolutely has to. frieda girard (my mother) managed finances at the pub and was a part owner of a gift shop downtown. she was also very emotionally distant, but she was much more outspoken than her husband. she passed away in september of 2017.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

N/A ( i’m an only child, thank god )

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

now i reside in los angeles ( ocean park ), on my own in a 501 sq ft. studio apartment. it’s pretty cozy, i don’t think i’d ever upgrade, i like the space i have. my favorite spot is my balcony.

What is your occupation?

director/producer for the hit television show, countenance

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

i’m 6′3, 196 pounds, with brown eyes and dark brown hair. i live in oversized sweaters and jeans, but sometimes i’ll venture out in a pair of sweats and a t shirt, that’s quite rare. not as rare as formal attire. i don’t think i own a suit but i have two nice button down shirts and one pair of navy slacks. i have a scar that stretches from the bottom of my belly button to my left pelvic bone from a sledding accident when i was nine. i have two tattoos that are very hidden. one on my right hip ( a dara celtic knot for my maternal grandmother, who was irish ) and a vacancy sign across the right side of my chest ( a drunken decision )

To which social class do you belong?

upper class.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

shellfish allergy, and a few mental illnesses.

Are you right- or left-handed?

lefthanded

What does your voice sound like?

deep and often monotone. friends have observed that i sometimes use a german accent (much like my fathers) to refer to anything german or my heritage.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“like”

“actually”

“literally”

“fuck you”

“don’t touch me”

“ok so”

“no”

“jesus fuck”

What do you have in your pockets?

loose change as always, my wallet, a pack of spearmint gum ( which i religiously chew ) and my keys.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

i bite my nails down to a nub. it makes everyone crazy. i nibble at them until they bleed. i crack my knuckles when i’m nervous. sometimes i click my tongue when i’m trying to avoid saying something I’ll regret. when someone is talking to me at work, i may walk away halfway through the conversation to do something else, not because i’m bored but because i have so many things to do and if i don’t do it now, i’ll forget.

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

it wasn’t easy growing up in my household. you developed thick skin very early on, and you learned to rely on yourself. there weren’t many warm and fuzzy moments, but they provided all of my essential needs such as food, water, and a roof over my head.

What is your earliest memory?

probably my fourth birthday party at mcdonalds. i hated clowns. it was hell. i swear ronald had it out for me.

How much schooling have you had?

i got my bachelors at university of north carolina at wilmington and my masters at nyu

Did you enjoy school?

absolutely. it was an escape for me. home life could be very discouraging, i could show up on campus, take a test, and suddenly i felt better.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

i suppose my teachers and professors taught me most of what i know today.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

my role models ended up being directors i idolized growing up. my favorites are stanley kubrick and alfred hitchcock. i suppose you can call them role models. i want what they have, i want to direct thrillers and leave the audience on the edge of their seats. i think they each value suspense and storytelling, and i do too.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

i did not get on very well with my parents. i think my uncles and aunts were easier to get along with, because they have become much more collectivist through the years. they gave me most of my affection in my childhood. my grandparents gave solid advice so i valued them too.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

at one point i wanted to be a police officer but most little boys do. that dream vanished quick, i think directing came at age eleven.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

i liked to watch movies. i hated tv shows. i would turn on hbo or showtime and just watch movie after movie while my parents worked. i liked to skateboard as a teenager, and i also took up photography as a hobby during middle school and high school.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

many people joked that i was a 40 year old man trapped in a 8 year old’s body. i was always very quiet, very observant. i never spoke unless spoken to, that was rare. i was very restless, i hated bullies. i would defend a kid i didn’t even know on the playground. i was suspended for many fights.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? When and with whom was your first kiss?

not popular at all, i was too quiet. i had a few friends in middle school and one good one in high school. i did not open up to a lot of people, so i think a lot of people took that personal. my friends in middle school were always studious but goofy. we drifted apart when we went to different high schools. my best friend in high school was nick staffield, who was a lot like me. we were both quiet and distant but we had this mutual understanding that we didn’t need to know what the other person went home to. he had a pretty rough homelife too. so we would go to the cinema after class or stay behind after photography to look at our negatives. my first kiss with a girl was with annaleigh winslow, she was my first girlfriend. it was freshman year. she had to make all of the first moves because i was really unfamiliar with romance. my first kiss a guy was with nick, our senior year. it unfortunately was one of the reasons we lost touch.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

not a virgin, no. i lost my virginity with a girl in college, freshman year. we hooked up at a party, i think her name was rachel. we didn’t do formalities. it was nice, and she didn’t expect much from me after, so i appreciated her. however, it set unusually high standards for hookups at parties. my first time with a guy was different. it was senior year of college and we went into it with no strings attached. he was some big jock so i went with it, i figured he wasn’t into relationships. but he also wouldn’t stop texting me afterwards. his name was alex, i think he has a fiancee now.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

i think my first table reading of countenance was surreal. it made me feel like it was all coming together. i feel bad, i made very few notes to the actors, but i think i was immersed, completely.

Who has had the most influence on you?

i would say my professors from tisch and uncw. their input, their criticism, and their teachings have pushed me to be where i am today.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

my greatest achievement was getting a second season of countenance. i honestly didn’t see it coming, but i’m a pessimist.

What is your greatest regret?

not saying goodbye to my mother before she passed.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

i don’t know if i’ve done anything evil but i did sleep with a married professor...

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

just some minor tickets for drinking in college.

When was the time you were the most frightened?

i hate heights, so any time i have to go on a plane? i have a panic attack.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

one time i stretched during a presentation in grad school and my shirt button popped off and everyone started laughing and i wanted to die.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

i think i would open myself up more to people and relationships. it would have prepared me more.

What is your best memory?

i think when i got a call about a network picking up countenance. i was floored, i threw up.

What is your worst memory?

finding out my mother had passed away while i was filming.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

pessimist.

What is your greatest fear?

i think complete failure scares me a lot... but loneliness keeps me up at night.

What are your religious views?

agnostic.

What are your political views?

liberal

What are your views on sex?

love it, but it comes with a lot of strings attached so i’ve been holding off.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

nah i couldn’t kill. just seriously injure.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

i think levels of disrespect are what lead us to be evil. i won’t dwell on it or expand because it’ll anger me.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

no but i do believe in love.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

i think setting out to do what you want and then accomplishing some or most of it is pretty damn successful.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

i’m never honest. i hate telling others what’s on my mind, or how i’m feeling. it feels too personal, and it feels invasive. i’m selective about who i share with.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

i think we all do. i was conditioned to, but i’m unlearning all of them.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

i refuse to fucking sky dive because i don’t see the point of plummeting to your death and relying on a flimsy piece of cloth to save me ? no ? fuck that ? why do people like to fall out of the motherfucking sky?

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

uhh.. my friends. the few i have. if i form a close bond with someone, even if i don’t open up to them, i’d most likely take a bullet for them. i may be stoic but i’m a pile of mush inside.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

i keep most people at a distance as a default. i don’t treat anyone poor unless they absolutely warrant it. i try to remain civil with everyone. with people i’m close with, my softer side is more common. i like to give them more of my personality to make up for my lack of affection or emotional availability.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

i’m not sure i have someone like that.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

*

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

*

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

no spouse, no s/o. it’s complicated.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

no i haven’t but i have experienced spells of infatuation and it’s probably the worst thing i’ve ever dealt with in my life. who likes to feel all that shit at once? jesus, what a mess.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

i’d really like.. someone who understands me without any invasive questions. they won’t ask me for more than i can give. i’m so inexperienced in romance so my s/o would have to be patient with me. i guess beyond that? a nice smile.. yeah i’d like them to have a nice smile.

How close are you to your family?

not very. i do speak with my aunts sometimes, that’s about it.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

no family, i’m not really sure if i’ll ever reach that point in my life. it sounds terrifying. i don’t think i’m qualified to take care of another human like that. it’s miraculous my fish have survived as long as they have.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

there’s some people in the crew and the cast that i might call if i absolutely had to. i really don’t like to rely on someone else, though.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

not really.. i mean once again i feel like one person might come to mind but it’s.. yeah that’s dumb, sorry. we barely know each other so i’m overreacting.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

my goldfish would probably miss me, they wouldn’t be able to eat, after all.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

i don’t despise anyone. i dislike a few people. i think they all know who they are.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

god i should avoid conflict but i don’t. i try to remain neutral unless i’m having a bad day, or if i feel like someone is being treated poorly. then the gloves come off.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

i hate doing it, but yeah. i think my job has taught me that the only way to succeed is to take a leadership role. it drains me, but the outcome is always rewarding.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

jesus fuck, no way. those convention panels shouldn’t exist. that’s my hell. i hate answering questions, especially personal ones. thank god, the business related questions are usually directed at me, while the personal ones are directed at my cast. otherwise i think i’d lose it.

Do you care what others think of you?

i think it depends on the person. i care what my family thinks. other than that.. not really.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

i like photography and painting with watercolors. it helps with creativity so i never run dry. i get inspiration from the smallest thing, so it keeps me fresh.

What is your most treasured possession?

my projector or my laptop. i love technology so much, i wish i had something more meaningful but that’s what comes to mind.

What is your favorite color?

navy or olive.

What is your favorite food?

grilled cheese. i think i eat it more than i should.

What, if anything, do you like to read?

i think i just thumb through the classics, the most. steinbeck is my favorite author, sometimes i’ll read thoreau.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

a movie with beautiful cinematography, a song with a symphony or large instrumental accompany, or a mini series.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

i think if you drew blood from me, half of it would actually be red wine. i love red wine. i drink a glass or two every night. i used to smoke cigarettes... i’ll smoke one after sex because i’m a walking cliche. i hate drugs for the most part. they never give me the thrill people claim to have when they take them. to me it’s a waste of time when you could have a better night with a bottle of cabernet.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

usually i’ll put a movie on my projector and i’ll pretend to start a book, but then i’ll just watch a tv show or something.

What makes you laugh?

i actually love certain vines. cute animal vines have a place in my stony heart.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

rain ponchos are fucking atrocious.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

i usually get up and paint or i’ll sit outside on my balcony and people watch with a cup of coffee. usually everyone’s drunk, so what more could you ask for?

How do you deal with stress?

i stress clean. or i stew about it until i can nap.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

planning is sexy. a top ten turn on for me.

What are your pet peeves?

well there’s a special place in hell for anyone who doesn’t use a fucking turn signal when switching lanes.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

usually i get up, grab a cup of coffee and a granola bar and head to work. if i wake up late and forget the granola bar or coffee, my coworkers are in trouble.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

i think my determination and organization. i believe that’s how i got my own show at a young age like this

What is your greatest weakness?

my inability to relate to people or my emotional capacity. it’s just low and i think i really miss out on a lot because of it.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i think i’d be more open with my friends. tell them more about myself.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

introverted.

Are you generally organized or messy?

organized.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

three things i’m good at: my job, anything requiring creativity, & organization

three things i’m bad at: anything with hand eye coordination, staying in my lane, & responsibility.

Do you like yourself?

this is a loaded question. i like traits about myself. overall there’s a lot i’d change.

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

i would love one oscar, at least. i feel like i could easily retire with one (1) oscar.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

hopefully still at countenance, maybe wrapping it up and venturing into movies.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

in my sleep. please @ god or something.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

travel is always on my bucket list but that’s hard in 24 hours. i think i’d make a lot of phone calls and say stuff to people that i couldn’t say right now. i would want everyone to know exactly how i feel about them. i’d probably eat a whole bowl of cookie dough because you gotta go out in a blaze of glory. and then maybe i’d have sex one last time because it’s been awhile...

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

hopefully, my accomplishments on screen. i know i can also be difficult on set... but i’d like my cast and crew to think of me in a positive light... maybe have an impact on them too.

What three words best describe your personality?

witty, tempestuous, & protective.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

stoic, tempestuous, & enigmatic.

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

ooc; honestly jesse ?! if you spent half your time telling others how you really felt, you’d solve 99.9% of your problems. it’s so hard to open up, but you’re missing out on life by holding everyone at an arms length, man !! please just @ people next time ? jesus christ dude.

[kateofthecanals]

Thoughts on The Last Jedi

Chock full o’ spoilers under the cut, which I have divided into stuff I liked and stuff I didn’t like, so it’s not ALL bad, lol.

Please note, though, that these are my impressions after only one viewing. I definitely need to see it again (and I will soon), and I’ll be reading everyone else’s posts and meta (good and bad), so my feelings might change...

Until then...

*deep sigh*

Okay, so, my chief problem with this movie is that the first 2/3 of it basically turned out to be pointless. There was all this terrific setup and seeding -- like, literally, those scenes between Rey and Kylo were plucked right out of my fantasies and headcanons over the past 2 years -- but then in the last 30-40 minutes it was like “oh haha just kidding!” and we ended up in the same place we were at the end of TFA. The characters didn’t actually evolve. They went through ALL that but just seemed to ultimately decide that they were better off where they were before. Nothing ultimately mattered -- the Force bond, the hand touch, Snoke’s murder, the team-up in the throne room, the revelation of Rey’s parents, etc... What did that actually accomplish if Kylo was just gonna go right back on his bullshit and Rey was gonna go right back to the Resistance like nothing even happened?

Breaking down more specific things below...

STUFF I LIKED:

- As I said, those early scenes between Rey and Kylo, feeling out their Force-bond, were terrific. Everything I had been hoping for. FORCE-BOND CONFIRMED!

- The Hand Touch scene omigaawwwwd. It was basically Force-sex, complete with Force-gasm. The way it was filmed, the insinuation was preeeeetty clear -- the soft, warm lighting, the fact that Kylo took off his glove so as to facilitate SKIN-TO-SKIN contact, the EXTREME CLOSE-UP of their fingertips where you could see their fingerprints, the little gasp Rey let out.... It was the hottest, most sexually-intense scene I could have imagined without any actual sex being involved. Very clever of Rian, considering this is a Disney movie and whatnot. Too bad they got caught by lame Uncle Luke! ;-P

- 8-PACK CONFIRMED!!! I actually saw a post about this scene prior to the movie but I thought it was just a JOKE. I cannot believe they actually did that, I was laughing so hard. Primarily because you just KNOW Kylo did that shit on purpose, thinking to himself “Hmmm, what can I do to Seduce Her To The Dark Side...? Why, she’ll never be able to resist my SWEET PECS!” Like... bro... stop. LMAO. Anyway, I appreciate the catering to the female gaze. ;-)

- R.I.P. Rey Skywalker and Rey Solo. Can we please move on now? (Though a friend did say he suspected the revelation of Rey’s parents wasn’t actually true, but, like, she was the one who confirmed it, so why wouldn’t you believe it???)

- R.I.P. Finnrey? Between Rose smooching Finn, and Rey grinning as she watched Finn hold vigil over injured Rose, I think we can say yes. Or maybe we’re just being trolled here too...

- The team-up in the throne room made me soooo happy; even the other people in the theatre were cheering. I’d LIKE to think that this is foreshadowing a future partnership of some sort between them, but... 

- The fact that, after learning the truth about Kylo, Rey insisted on calling him Ben. He seemed really affected by that too. Well, for a little while anyway...

- PORGS, GLORIOUS PORGS! I just wish there had been more of them, LOL. But I’m sure Rian wanted to use them sparingly so they wouldn’t wear out their welcome, so he achieved that at least. 

- I think I’m content with how Luke’s story was resolved. I have to ponder it some more before reaching solid conclusions, but he went on his own terms, which I think is the best we could have hoped for. And we can be sure there will be tons of Luke Force-Ghost action in Episode 9, lol.

- When Rey and Kylo had hand-sex, she saw Kylo becoming Ben again, and Kylo saw himself and Rey ruling the Galaxy side-by-side. I don’t think those were mutually exclusive visions of the future -- if this trilogy is all about finding Balance, then I think that the truth of those visions (filtered and interpreted between two very disparate perceptions) will meet somewhere in the middle. My headcanon endgame for Reylo has always been Rey and Ben becoming Gray Jedi and teaming up to “rule” the Galaxy from a position of that ever-coveted Balance, so I think that is what those visions could be hinting at. At least, I’d like to think so, but those last 30-40 minutes gave me major reservations...

- So, I’m putting this one under Stuff I Like but it’s not something I really liked or disliked, I just thought it was a bizarre choice, and that was this sudden playing of Hux strictly for laughs. Like, yeah, in TFA, he was a great source of comedy for myself and others (#coasters), but the whole reason he was so funny was because of how utterly seriously he (and the film) took himself. But then he became somewhat of a caricature of himself in TLJ -- like an SNL sketch version of Hux. I mean, I enjoyed it and was entertained, but it was just an odd choice to me.

STUFF I DIDN’T LIKE:

- The turning point for me, going from “YES YES YES!” to “oh...” was immediately after the team-up in the throne room, when I quickly realized that Kylo didn’t kill Snoke because he suddenly “woke up”, and he didn’t do it for Rey... he did it so that HE could be the HBIC. He didn’t change at all. His ambitions only became amplified.

- I was really bummed when Snoke “revealed” that he was the one who facilitated the Force-bond between Kylo and Rey, but I was relieved to see this wasn’t the case after all at the end when Kylo and Rey had that one last Force-encounter. But again, what was this actually worth in the end? She closed the door on him. It was established in this film, via Luke, that a Force user can close themselves off to the Force. Who’s to say Rey won’t do the same to Kylo? That she will find a way to cut him off completely? There’s literally nothing stopping her, because she has clearly given up on him...

- ... as has everyone else. And with good reason, tbh. The moment Kylo threw Rey under the bus for Snoke’s death, declared himself new Supreme Leader, and went fucking buckwild on Luke, I knew all hope for redemption was gone. Even Leia was like, “nope, I was wrong, he’s lost for good.” Basically what I got out of this movie was, Rey and Kylo “flirt” with the other sides of the Force for a hot second but then just ultimately decide that they belong where they were in the first place. Gee wow what awesome character development...

- The revelation of Rey’s parents was just so... banal. I felt like this was thrown in there just to put the question to rest, without any additional thought or exploration, even though that was made such a HUGE deal of in TFA. But, nah, they were “nobodies”, end of story, case closed, that’s all she wrote. It was never even explained how Kylo knew about Rey’s parents!!

- I’ve seen people claim that this movie “shuts down” anti arguments for good and that is simply not the case. There is still plenty of ammo from this movie they can use, chief among them Kylo’s cringeworthy statement to Rey that “You’re nobody. But not to me.” Oh great, I can see the Discourse already... reeeaaaally wish Rian hadn’t thrown fuel on the fire like that, but here we are. I mean, there’s some degree of justification in that (a) Kylo can’t people and this was the only way he could think to convince Rey to stay with him by playing off her one biggest weak spot, and (b) he’s perpetuating the cycle of abuse tactics instilled in him by Snoke, but NEITHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE GOOD EXCUSES. Like, okay Kylo, it’s lovely that she means something to you, but telling her that YOU are the only one who sees something special in her is a dick move for sure. (Basically, the scene felt like the Blackwater to me, with Kylo trying to implore Rey to come with him, she refusing, and him just flipping the fuck out on her... YA BLEW IT, SON! Hopefully, though, like Sandor, Kylo will realize that, if he REALLY wants to be with Rey, he has to become a better man... that HE has to change for HER and not the other way around... But I am not hopeful this is a direction Lucasfilm will ultimately decide to take.)

- I’m glad everyone’s happy that Kylo didn’t actually KILL Leia (which I knew he wouldn’t) but I dunno how many brownie points he gets considering he still let those other fighters take her out... I mean, she SHOULD have died, but apparently she’s from Krypton or something? LOL... But anyway, I mean, he may have not known that those other fighters were around him, but he still could have done SOMETHING, but he didn’t.

- And he barely even flinched when Snoke was torturing Rey. You’d think that, I don’t know, since they have a Force-bond and everything, that he would have been able to feel her pain or something???

- During Kylo’s attack on Crait, at a certain point (around the time Luke shows up), Rey just, like, disappears, completely, and doesn’t show up again until the very end to do her rock-lifting trick. Firstly, where the hell was she that whole time, but more importantly, wouldn’t it have been kind of awesome if, like, she could sense what was happening between Kylo and Luke and using their Force-bond try to talk him out of it? And see him actually STRUGGLE with it because he’s still torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to be the Big Bad? Buuuut no, because at that point, both their minds were made up, and Rey had given up on him anyway.

- On a more technical level, I was really disappointed by how the Force-bond sequences were filmed. I expected way more from Rian Johnson; this was something any first-year film student could have come up with. Now, I’m not claiming to be “better than Rian Johnson”, but in my headcanons of Rey and Kylo’s Force-conversations, there was a noticeable atmospheric shift -- some sort of visual cue that something “different” was going on... Instead of just this basic cutting back and forth between them in their respective locales. Meh.

- I didn’t find Rose that memorable, sorry. And her whole mission with Finn, much like the Kylo/Rey storyline, ended up being completely pointless, thanks to Admiral Holdo needlessly keeping vital info about her plans from Poe. WHY??? All of it was just an elaborate excuse to send Finn off on another adventure where he would end up back with the First Order so he could finish off Phasma, period. Like, yeah, there was that little hint at the very end that those kids who took care of the fathiers would, like, have something to do with the Resistance in the next movie, but honestly that could have just been a little meta commentary about how kids have been inspired by the Star Wars franchise over these past 40 years. Which is nice and all, but Finn and Rose’s mission was still pointless.

- Same with Holdo. So here’s this lady who just shows up out of nowhere, keeps vital information from Poe for no good goddamn reason, thereby forcing him to come up with his own plan and send Finn & Rose on a wild goose chase, and then suddenly we’re supposed to buy this close, intimate relationship she has with Leia so that we’ll feel all wistful when she decides to go on a suicide mission to protect the Resistance?? That should have been Leia, tbh... and not just for cheap emotional impact. At that point, Leia believed both the cause and her son to be lost and really had nothing else to lose at that point, and it would have been well within her personality to take out as many motherfuckers as she could to go down with her. Holdo should have been set up as Leia’s heir apparent going forward, and Leia going all kamikaze on the First Order would have been an interesting parallel to Luke also sacrificing himself to protect the ones he loved. AND it would have solved the whole issue of how to move forward in the story after Carrie’s death. I mean, we know that Leia was supposed to play a big part in Episode 9, but we’ll never know what that was supposed to be anyway...

Okay so those are the just the things on the forefront of my mind today. I might think of some more, and like I said at the top, my opinions on these might change... and y’all are free to try to change my mind. ;-)

No but seriously, very anxious to hear other people’s opinions!

[evakfanficsrecs]

Good evening. Hello​, could you please recommend your best evak fluffy fanfics, with HEAs. Your personal favorites maybe? Thank you.

Anonymous: halla!! i was wondering if there were any fluff filled fics that are too good and too pure for this world? thanks

Hello to both!

Okay, I’ve never done a fluff rec list before (which is kinda shocking, considering fluff is my speciality), so here we go :)

Mind you, this will probably (most definitely) get pretty long and it’s all pure (most of the time tooth-rotting) fluff, so if you’re not into that, this post definitely isn’t for you. 

*

ONESHOTS:

That Time With the Body Paint by wordsarelifealways Summary: Even finds body paint and convinces Isak to let him use it. 

Loving Isak by Tintinnabulation_of_the_BellsSummmary: Five of the people who grow to love Isak Valtersen, and one who’s loved him all along.

The Way He Looks at You by anna_sun Summary: It first happened in the safety of Isak’s own bed, the cluster of butterflies that seem to clog his lungs when he really looked into Even’s eyes. They were laying mindlessly, limbs and hearts tangled into each other’s, the only effort required of them being when they wanted to kiss. Though, even that, in itself, was effortless. When Isak looked up, he was welcomed by the sight of Even’s full lips ready to be kissed, and he wasn’t about to kiss them good-bye. Every single time, he did it only with the promise of more. The lingering touches, the fingertips softly drawing patterns on warm skin, the kisses. They all meant the same to Isak. They all meant infinity. 

Angel Face by monaesqueSummary: Or, five times Even failed to get Isak’s attention, and one time he succeeded. 

your love is my turning page. by carryonmalecsSummmary: Isak is drunk in love. Even loves to tease him about it. Fluff ensures.

Nights in the Snow by iamjustakiddoSummary: All the infinite sadness, the desperation. All the breathless nights, the rush to the sky, reaching for the stars. Ink-stained fingers, bubbly laughter and a single tear. The taste of marijuana and sweet Rooibos-tea. All the ludicrousness and sensibility- that’s what Isak tasted. That’s all Even was pieced together from and what Isak wanted to drown in.

doing strange things in the name of art by ufologiesSummary: “What’s your favorite thing to draw about me?” He asks, resting his chin on Even’s chest. Even looks up at the ceiling, furrowing his eyebrows like he’s deeply thinking about Isak’s question then moves his gaze back to Isak, staring at him for another few seconds. Then he leans up and kisses Isak’s nose, a sudden movement that startles him. He makes a face at him and Even laughs. “My nose? Really?”

The Hot Muffin Thief by Bellakitse Summary: There is a magical muffin at the café where Isak’s buddy Jonas works. It’s Isak’s lifeline, he has it every day and then one day some hot art hipster steals his muffin.

True or False by iriswests Summary: childhood best friends!au; Seven moments between Isak and Even (+1 with Sonja), ranging from the ages of four and six to the ages of seventeen and nineteen, respectively.

Love Me Harder by tech_ftw Summary: In which accidentally being added to a group text has unexpected consequences. Like falling in love. 

the one where they don’t study by SchedazzleSummary: Bringing his breathing under control again, Isak smiled. “I love the way your face changes when you draw,” he said softly, hearing the dreamy sound of his voice but didn’t care at all. 

sickeningly sweet like honey by tomlinsoln Summary: coffee shop!au; Even likes to write pickup lines on Isak’s cup.

Something Like This. by LostInAdmirationSummary: A drabble about a sunny morning with pancakes and dancing in the kitchen, and soft boys saying ‘I love you’ to each other for the first time.

sugar spreads happiness by Bellakitse  Summary: Isak and Even try to bake cupcakes for kose, this time no one interrupts their time in Isak’s kitchen.* Set after the almost kiss of episode three.

Confess by eiqhties Summary: In retrospect, it probably wasn’t something he should have said when Even had a toothbrush shoved in his mouth.

Better With You by iriswests Summary: Isak and Even don’t know what they’d do without the other. Eventually, they realize they don’t really need to find out.

Please Know That I’m Yours to Keep by pressurerin Summary: hogwarts!au; “Remember how I was making amortentia for my final potions project? Well, Isak ate some. And now…” Even gestured towards the way Isak was currently trying to lick his neck. OR; Even accidentally gives Isak a love potion.

the region of the summer stars by thekardemomme Summary: flower shop!au; Someone keeps sending Isak flower bouquets and Even happens to work in a flower shop.

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg by sugarbeat24 Summary: Isak and Even are chemistry partners. Fluff and chemistry jokes ensue.

a letter to isak by alltimemarrit Summary: Even is going on a trip for a week and leaves Isak a letter. Or: Even loves Isak a whole lot and is a massive sap.

Make a spark, break the dark, find a light with me by LostInAdmiration Summary: Isak can’t sleep, so spends his nights wandering around the street. Even works the night shift at the store around the corner, and they bond over their mutual insomnia.

friday, i’m in love by bbyfruit Summary: Five times over the course of one day that Isak falls in love a little bit more, plus one time he talks about it.

Stop the world I wanna get off with you by LostInAdmiration Summary: “Sometimes, it felt like they were worlds away from the people they were when they first met, both lost in their different ways and searching for their places in the world. They had come so far from that, become so much stronger, and finally had both feet firmly on the ground most of the time. But then sometimes, on a day like this, where they were curled up together sharing slow, lazy kisses, with Isak’s fingernails leaving half-moon imprints in Even’s skin, and Even’s hands buried in Isak’s hair, it felt as though no time had passed at all.”   

and i thank god i’m alive by thekardemomme Summary: 5 times Even looks at Isak and 1 time Isak calls him out on it.

in the place of you and me by DarkBeauty_890 Summary: “Can I tell you a secret?” Even murmurs, tracing mindless patterns- zig zags and hearts and stars and infinity signs- up and down Isak’s bare back. He circles freckles and counts them, adding them to his never ending tally of things to know about Isak. Isak snuffles sleepily, “Mmhmm.” “You have made me happier in less than a year, than I think I have been in my entire life.” Eyes flicker open, hazy green; beautiful and open, “Ditto.”

the boyfriend experience by diamondjacket Summary: The point is: Even is great. Even is perfect. So perfect, in fact, that the alarming and ever-growing disparity between them, in terms of boyfriend-ing, has become impossible to ignore. Try as he might to talk himself down, Isak can’t quite stop that ugly fear from gnawing at him—the fear that Even will wake up one day and suddenly realize, fuck, why in God’s name am I doing all this work for a smelly, socially awkward slob with no money and no skills and Dorito crumbs in his bed? Or: Isak decides he’s gonna boyfriend the hell out of Even. It does not go to plan.

take my hand (take my whole life too) by eatthatup Summary: Isak loves holding Even’s hand. 

You are in Love by pressurerin Summary: Even is so in love with Isak. Isak feels the same.

blow out all the candles by tarjeiandhenrik Summary: It’s Eskild’s birthday, Even works at a cake shop and Isak doesn’t know how to make tea.

you’re the one i wanna grey with by cosetties Summary: They’ve only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn’t be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he’s only gone for a weekend. They’re taking this completely chill, but Isak is starting to realize that he has no chill when it comes to Even.

Intense by nhasablogSummary: Even’s hand found his chin and then his cheek, pulling his head closer so that their gazes met again. He was smiling. “Stop turning away from me.” Isak didn’t reply, because he knew Even wasn’t expecting it anyway. He bumped their noses together instead, relishing in the way Even looked at him, for while it made him want to run away it also made him want to never look away. (Or, Even’s gaze is almost too intense for Isak to keep looking at him, but he never wants it to stop.)

CHAPTERED:

possibly (maybe) i’m falling for you by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug & safficwriter ✓ Summary: coffee shop!au; Even tries to get Isak to smile with coffee. Every time he buys Isak coffee, he becomes more determined to find the perfect drink (and falls in love along the way). 

in better light, everything changes by TimeInABottle ✓ Summary: wrong number!au; “I just checked the revue website and blackmailing people for smoking weed wasn’t listed under the Kosegruppa description"… Isak accidentally texts a stranger (Even) while trying to text Sana.

i guess that’s destiny doing it right by allyasavedtheday ✓ Summary: The alternate universe where Even originally went to Nissen and became friends with Isak and Jonas when they started first year but moved away after his episode at the start of second year only for Isak to never hear from him again. Fastforward to the summer before Isak starts college when he’s travelling around Spain and bumps into a certain someone in Barcelona.

the city of illusions, the city of yearning by elisewinSummary: The whole point of going on a student exchange program is to meet people from different countries, learn about different cultures and so on. Isak, of course, falls in love with another Norwegian while in Rome.

Things Look Different in the Morning by allyasavedtheday✓ Summary: roomates!au & uni!au; “So,” he says, drawing the word out. “I told Even he could stay here.”Isak blinks, convinced he’s misheard. “Eskild,” he says flatly. “We don’t have a spare room.” Eskild straightens his back, expression turning sheepish. “That’s the other part…I was thinking he could stay in your room?” * In which Even needs a place to stay, kollektivet gains a new roommate, and Isak just really wants to sleep.

I’ll Be Coming Home, Wait For Me by dahlstrom ✓ Summary: The diner AU. Even and Yousef open a 1950s American-style restaurant together - Even is the creative genius in the kitchen, Yousef keeps the trains running on time, and Isak, Chris B, and Magnus are all along for the ride. Falling in love over food while Elvis serenades from the jukebox. Welcome to the Throwback Diner.

will you share your soul with me? by hippopotamus Summary: There’s a school camping trip at the beginning of Isak’s second year. He’s not sure why he agrees to go, especially when he remembers how difficult it is for him to sleep anywhere that isn’t his own bed. It turns out he’s not the only insomniac on the trip. 

(✓ - completed fics)

–A