#jokes on them because it’s in my bag

[quiet-butch12]

Once again baffling German security

[saiainopresai-v3]

im with saihara on this one (which one? take your best guess before checking tags!)

[lokh]

would u trust me to be able to carry heavy grocery bags

[fisheito]

slithering out from under a rock or something to inform you that you DO have followers who are yaku lovers <3 he's been my fave since day one and i would love to accompany him to the farmers market

ah.. i sit corrected... valuable confirmation of intel. *enters it manually into the nucadex* where to find yakufans: farmer's market (they will be farming and/or marketing)

[anthromimicry]

alright, but an important thing to note here... although misao might very much seem to be just this hedonistic, as well as utterly selfish but seemingly smart person, she is also a girl's girl. so i think that is kind of funky fresh of her when you look past all of the atrocities she has committed? and is still?? committing??? idk, i'm just trying to get in the groove of posting on here, so feel free to ignore this y'all 💀 i just imagine her being the kind of person that will say ' slay ' to another woman she sees while walking to work because she absolutely LOVED their outfit but then turn around and plot a patient's or pretty much anyone's downfall because they dared to 'look at her wrong.' like, her and barton may or may not be competing for first place for the worlds most petty character LOL but i love her anyway despite her having some very... interesting ways of navigating the world and her relationships with people, i guess you could say.

[cafeeeeeeeeee3]

Got started on a little something.

[shoechoe]

i like the youtube shorts videos that are what i assume is rich people recording their "routines"/organizing their stuff but its really just them showing off all the shit they have

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I found my relatives who are estranged because they left the cult (among other, much more complicated things)… and through their friends list I found my creepy uncle who I saw exactly once in person, walking through a foyer at a funeral.

Now, I bear a striking resemblance to my late grandmother so I could theoretically scare the living bejeezus out of him… 👀 but I’m not going to do that or talk to any of them right now in any way; because I don’t want to open that can of wormssssssss

[angered-box]

yknow realizing my family was super fucking mean to me for no reason before i turned 18

[thnksfrthmmrs]

i think millennials are the worst generation i’ve had to work with i’m so serious

[mythvoiced]

-. on my third cup of chamomile I forgot my mother telling folks when i was a kid that she didn't like making me chamomile tea because it doesn't work on me it has the effect on me coffee has on most folks I am READY to fucking GO what's up chamomile tea to sleeP? NO MY BEAUTIES chamomile tea to something pls insert something that makes sense and is hype i can't think of anything, SO--

I do wanna get to some ooc messages but I can't promise I can get my brain in order to be coherent BUT ANYWAY, BEFORE THAT, dropping this asshole

Kim Minjun, 37, he/him, bloodsucker asshole baby~ Not in the literal sexy vampire sense, I mean he rose from the dirt and decided to make his living thriving off of what we made celebrity culture into, the very notion of celebrity culture itself

You want those pictures of Spider-man on your desk by Wednesday? You wanna know who's doing who and who's smoking what? You want exclusive details on a private party to start shit, get legal info acquired illegally just to have a story to tell about the latest celebrity divorce? Well, then Minjun's your fucking guy

Actually born Kim Jung-hoon but he changed it to Minjun because it sounds more... modern, fresh, better

He's a sleaze, a bit of a motherfucker honestly (forgive the cursing I'm matching his energy, his attitude), he doesn't care about the lives he could potentially be ruining, he operates according to the idea of 'well that's how this world works, don't like it? jump ship'

He'll dig up just about anything, he's started from being a sneaky piece of shit stalker following celebrities around to having built enough connections to be among the first to know when someone with a Reputation is entering this or the other club

But that's not even where his real forte is, oh no; gathering info is easy, figuring out how to get it around is difficult: who to sell it to? who's gonna pay the most, who's gonna turn into an enemy if you share the wrong name, the wrong location, expose the wrong people? no, he's good at finding shit, but the complexities of having to mind connections and be careful with who you drag into the dirt? not his favourite

What Minjun really excels at... is spinning shit around, he can turn the most innocuous of pictures into the drama of the century, by carefully nurturing doubts and rumours, he's a snake, a bastard

He's always hated the entertainment industry, he thinks himself above it, because he's not as desperate as them, he doesn't do what he does because he's otherwise got no worth in life, he doesn't sell his soul, he sells the souls of others

He doesn't think he's on the right side of history, oh no, by no means, he just thinks... well, don't become a celebrity if you don't want this treatment

The more I write about him the more I hate him lmao BUT GOOD WE NEED VILLAINS, UNREEDEEMABLE ONES

He comes from a relatively poor background, if comparing it to Hyun for example, but if he'd minded his business he would have just... lived a 'regular' life

He's particularly efficient when used as 'spy on the competition', new script ideas, new music ideas, new design ideas, you want to know what Shakespeare's next big play will be, Nicholas Bottom? well, then hit up this fucking clown

Only child, if his mother knew what he was up to she'd beat the shit out of him, he doesn't respect his father (haven't decided if he even lives still) but he does love his mother which is why he hasn't told her

Biromantic but he's a walking red flag so I hope the broadened pool of dating options doesn't fucking date him, demisexual

He can probably be fixed but WHY? why would you do that to yourself

He does have one little plus point, he's kind of like old school mafia in the sense that he doesn't mess with children, and anyone below 20 is a child to him, so he doesn't really mess with young idols and trainees

He actually hates the idol industry he thinks it's exploitative and abusive which is real fucking rich coming from him, but hey

I'LL WORK ON MORE ♥

[byfulcrums]

i love being that one friend with a very chaotic personality that gives horrible advice on purpose (then gives some actually good advice) and offers to murder people for you but i also. would like to be taken more seriously. in a "please stop using me as just comedy i am a real person and don't find the jokes you make at my expense (is that the word?) funny" way

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

every now and then I just spontaneously remember that Arkk exists and that he was coded as a member of Scarlet's Army for reasons left entirely unexplained and I just go. huh.

[solarpunkani]

oh right one final note of the house pest saga.

I would like to emphasize that my family isn't currently having problems with spiders and roaches invading the house. Genuinely haven't seen a roach in the house in at least two months, and a spider... think last time I saw a spider large enough to be scary was like a year ago, maybe? Though I rarely see tiny ones, even.

My house isn't infested with anything. HOWEVER. The mosquitoes and house flies are getting real goddamn annoying and seem to have a knack of flying into the house whenever we open the door to let my dog out into the backyard. Even then, I'm not living in a mosquitoey haze as I type this out.

"Ani why are you clarifying this" I dunno just felt the need to.

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my fucking ex job is claiming i didn't fill out the right resignation paperwork which i think is bull and. they've been blowing up my phone trying to get me to change my mind and guilt tripping me for quitting so like. hell no am i going back into the snake's nest to sign some mystery piece of paper.

[khioneee]

simon is one of the girls (sort of)

boyfriend!simon was always invited to girls’ night—not out of obligation, but because everyone genuinely wanted him there. he fit into the group effortlessly, his quiet, protective presence becoming a staple at every gathering. whether it was lounging around in pajamas with face masks on or heading out for a wild night at the club, boyfriend!simon was part of the plan.

if it was girls’ night, boyfriend!simon was there. need someone to open a bottle of wine? he had it uncorked in seconds. carrying heavy bags for a night in? already done. if the group was heading to the club, simon was always the first to volunteer to drive everyone home safely at the end of the night.

boyfriend!simon never overstepped, but he wasn’t a silent bystander, either. when conversations got lively, he’d chime in with the perfect sarcastic remark or sly observation, earning a mix of giggles and mock glares. and when a topic turned to relationship drama, he always gave it to you and your friends straight.

“dump the bloke,” he’d say bluntly, not even looking up from his drink. “if i hear his name one more time, i’m blocking his number myself.”

your friends always groaned, but soon enough, they started messaging him directly for advice.

out on the town, boyfriend!simon was the designated protector. no one had to ask—he was always at the edge of the group, watching for anything suspicious. he made sure no one lingered too close, and if someone tried to chat up one of your friends unwantedly, simon’s presence alone was enough to send them packing. if they didn’t get the hint, simon would step forward, voice low and deadly calm: “you’ve got somewhere else to be, mate.” that always did the trick.

despite his intimidating size, boyfriend!simon never felt out of place during your quiet nights in. he sat comfortably among blankets and pillows, scrolling on his phone as face masks dried and reality tv droned in the background. your friends teased him mercilessly about it, but he didn’t mind.

“you’re basically one of us now, si,” one of them joked once.

he gave a small shrug, not looking up. “just don’t expect me to paint my bloody nails, yeah?”

with boyfriend!simon around, you and your friends could relax fully, knowing he’d take care of everything—from heavy bags to creeps at the bar. he wasn’t just there for you—he was there for everyone you cared about, making sure nothing went wrong on his watch.

one night, after everyone had left and it was just the two of you, you leaned into him, curious. “why are you so sweet to my friends?”

boyfriend!simon didn’t miss a beat, brushing a strand of hair from your face as he answered softly, “because they mean a lot to you—and you mean everything to me.”

an. i desperately need a man like him.