#jokerownsmysoul fic
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hi erika i have maybe a silly question ngbjns 🥺 have you ever written a fic where reader meets carnival while he's dancing outside the music store? i was talking with flavia about it and i tried looking through your masterlist just now but i couldn't find it gnhnjs. 👉👈 would you have a link for it?
Hey, Cal!!❤️
hasdfghjkl Carnival our beloved🥺I've written a fair few for Carnival! I'll link them all below for your reading ease but I'll bold the one I think you're talking about!!!🥺Hopefully it's one of these!❤️
Carnival the clown general headcanons (romantic, soft)
Carnival cuddles when Arthur comes home from work (fluff)
Bring Him Home (Carnival x Reader // Arthur x Reader)
Can’t get you out of my head (soft fluff)
Period comfort cuddles! Arthur + Joker + Carnival
Busy lives, tired eyes // Arthur + Joker + Carnival hc’s
I need your love before I fall // Arthur + Carnival + Joker
Carnival and a reader who gushes over him in public (ficlet)
I think the one you and @jokerownsmysoul are talking about is the bottom one!!!!🥺🫂❤️
Omg I got so excited when I saw an ask for my Arthur writing hasdfghjkl please 😍🫂🫂🫂🫂
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Celebrating a milestone 2,000 followers!! 🥺❤️ All in less than a year after I hit 1k! Thank you guys so, so much! 😍
I can't express how forever grateful and appreciative I am to have such amazing mutuals, followers and readers. 🥰 It's almost been two years since I've had this blog and I still meet and make new friends and mutuals, discover new fandoms, add another blorbo to my collection and write even more fics! 😂❤️
From my last follow forever/follower milestone post, a lot has changed in the best way possible. 😌 Moth to Flame: Part II is now a thing (🥰), I'm writing a Tony Montana x Reader smut multi-chapter fic, The Other Woman is my newest Michael Corleone x Reader smut multi-chapter fic that we all can't get enough of, I wrote a Francis Lionel Delbuchi x Reader fic and a Carlito Brigante x Reader smut oneshot. 🤩 Victonny is now a full blown thing 👀 and I'm working on writing through every prompt you guys send me. 🥰❤️ That's just scratching the surface too. I have a lot more fics to write and introduce all 2023! I am here for good!! 😂
GIF making has become a passion of mine I continue to find myself improving on and just like fic writing, I can't wait to do more and post more for you guys. 💞 To all my fellow Pacino girlies and Godfather fans, I have so much love for all of you and I never want any new blogs or anyone new to the fandom to feel intimidated or shy away from interacting with my blog. 🥺❤️ I'm always excited to interact and welcome new blogs/people to our little fandom and hope to continue to spread positivity, love and encouragement to everyone in it. ❤️❤️❤️
This is my forever follow list with all of my favourite blogs and mutuals, from fandom to fandom and various blorbos altogether! 🥰
❤️ @pacinostalgia / @jasonvanhalen / @irishcorleone / @thatpacinochick / @jokerownsmysoul / @woman-with-no-name / @rosesloveletters / @pradapacino / @loveilovetoo / @lovefoxgoddess / @the-godfather-1972 / @chronically-fangirls / @thenightowl22 / @averagecinemaenjoyer / @castanierprosper / @ronniekayy / @panic-in-needle-park / @alpacacino / @chaosfae-writes / @sempiternal-waiting / @idle-teen28 / @fruitysalamander1398 / @succsessions / @stardancerluv / @allthosedarlings / @purelypacino / @mariluci / @dinalovesalpacino ❤️
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Thank you so much for tagging me Rose!!💖💖 @rosesloveletters
WIP tag game
Rules: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic/ original/ anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
So this from a AU Negan x Reader fic that I am currently working on🤭
So as soon as Carl seen him, he immediately noticed the toy gun and ran right over to him.
Tagging(no pressure): @jslittlebirdie @ajokeformur-ray @sweet-nothings04 @jokerownsmysoul & anyone else that wants to💕
WIP tag game
Rules: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic/ original/ anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
Her blood tasted like nothing he had ever had before, and his fangs bit deeper as he felt all her muscles relax against the pillow-cushioned headboard.
For my Vamp! Jax Teller/OFC fic.
@theesirenteller @rayslittlekitten @darqchilddaydreamz @bullet-prooflove @chaos-4baby I'm out of people I think.
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He has a dead look in the second gif. Literally. I can hear his heart breaking while he reads his book thinking of killing himself.
And it makes me so angry and sad seeing Murray making fun of him like that while he has that look on his face, I mean how could he not see his suffering face? The pain in his eyes? His sorrow? His loneliness?
I can't believe people can be so blind. I can't believe people make fun of him while he's thinking of killing himself. I just can't.
It's so difficult for people to see how this beautiful human being is broken? In the last gif he smiles, because what else can he do? In all his life everyone have taught him to hide his pain and bury it with a laugh, he has no one to tell him that he deserves to be sad, and to experience his own pain. He tries to protect himself.
It breaks my heart, my soul and my whole being
#i'm sad tonight#my little boy#arthur fleck#joker#joaquin phoenix#joker 2019#jokerownsmysoul#jokerownsmysoul fic#Amando
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Tag Lists
Okay people, it's that time of year once more when I ask who wants in and who wants out of my whole tagging system.
As it stands you have a few options, which are...
This list means you get tagged in ALL fics, no matter the fandom or the character.
This list is for all the Marvel characters I write, so if that's your thing then this could be your list.
This tag list is for the Supernatural boys, that's what you'll get tagged in with this one.
Okay, full disclosure, this is pretty much 90% George Weasley and 10% Remus Lupin atm. If that's what you're interested in then this is the list for you.
Mycroft. That's it. That's what you'll get if you want in on this list. Just the lovely Mr Mycroft Holmes. I'm not even sorry about it.
So, like the #Holmes Ho's, this tag is pretty much all about Hux with the occasional mention of Poe. If you like my Hux ramblings then feel free to be added to this list.
The Star Trek fandom may be quiet but I am more than happy to ramble on about my faves, so if you're interested in Scotty or Bones then I can tag you in that.
If you want to be placed on ANY of the lists all you need to do is drop me a message or an ask (DO NOT REPLY TO THIS POST BECAUSE I AM RUBBISH AT CHECKING THAT) and I will add you, easy as that.
If you are already on my tag lists and you want to stay there, just send me a gif with a thumbs up and you'll stay put. If I don't hear from you I will assume that you are very busy doing other things and will slip your name off to save you a job.
So here you all are.
#Consume All The Fics:
@vintagevalentinex @salt-n-burn-em-all @alicenwrites @thewhiterabbit42 @palaiasaurus64 @fangirlextraordinaire @wayward-bumblebee @regulusblackswhorecrux
#Holmes Ho’s:
@mod-comedy @savvy-devine666 @meganlpie @royalydamned @iwillbeinmynest @pocketwatchofmycroft @howaboutlunch @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @paola-carter @brwnicons
#StarWars Sweeties:
@sweetjedi @iwillbeinmynest @starlightsearches @mylifeisactuallyamess
#Supernatural Stars:
@witchygagirly @sweetjedi @awesomesusiebstuff @feelmyroarrrry @calaofnoldor @archangelgabriellives @pathetic-has-been-rockstar @cosicas-cuquis @lovealways-j
#Marvel Mavericks:
@witchygagirl @amourtentiaa @sweetjedi @iwillbeinmynest @feelmyroarrrr @old-enough-to-know-better73 @cosicas-cuquis @thefridgeismybestie @randomhumanoid512
#Arthur Appreciation:
@jokerownsmysoul
#Wonderous Weasleys:
@sweetjedi @lindsaytriestowrite @honeypirate @youralternantpersonality @amourtentiaa @fancy-pantaloons @regulusblackswhorecrux
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Hey egg, I know you probably don’t write for him right now but I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask so, are you taking requests for Arthur fleck? 😃
oh yes... my favorite clown in the world 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about him again.
you know nonnie I haven't written anything for him in a good long while- and yeah I'm like neck deep in midnight mass rn- but you know what send it in anyway? God knows I don't think I can ever quit that clown completely and I'll no doubt get back into him eventually and I'll want good fic fuel for when I do. BUT!!!! IN THE MEANTIME!!!! I got my old joker masterlist HERE for your viewing pleasure as well if you're looking for content, and also I still keep in touch with a bunch of the ol' clown crew that I could send you to for requests who are still taking them!!! off the top of my head there's my beautiful wife @ajokeformur-ray , @jokerownsmysoul @sweet-nothings04 a bunch of others too honestly I rec all the folks still kicking around in that fandom HIGHLY they're the best 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 if you want a full list I'll hit people up and let you know!!!
#lol my master used to be linked up in my bio but I fucked it up I still gotta fix it#but I've been meaning to put out a masterlist of masterlists for a while now lmao so that's why I've stalled#ugh#BUT YES!!!! SWEET CLOWN MAN!!!!! I AIN'T QUITTING YOU!!!!#arthur fleck#joker
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Thanks to @sweet-nothings04 and @jokerownsmysoul for tagging me! 💜 😃
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 6 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!
I'm going to stick to oneshots on this one, because Watch What Happens will never not be a favorite. Special shoutouts to my betas on these!
1. Another Year & Another Decade - But I will cheat right off the bat. 😂 These pieces, in which we see Arthur and Y/N/Sarah celebrate their first birthdays as a couple, are two sides of the same coin. Funnily, I got the requests within a couple days of each other, so I knew I had to at least give it a try!
2. Bittersweet - The result of an anonymous request I couldn't be more thankful for. Exploring the circumstances of Arthur's first kiss was a real joy. I remember the imagery of the carnival he worked at, the feel of the weather came to me quite vividly. Imagining Arthur's past pre-1981 is always an adventure, and this piece gave me a good opportunity to do it.
3. The Find* - This is one of the filthiest things I've ever written and I'm not sorry. 🔥
4. After - I'd resisted writing more about Chapter 23 of WWH and the immediate aftermath of Y/N/Sarah's return. What happened between them was private, and I liked the ensuing conversations being implied. However, after getting the request and further questions, I'm so happy I did. The piece came naturally, the words flowed easily, and it felt good to again write them towards the beginning of their relationship.
5. What Didn't Happen - Arthur-as-Joker was not something I ever intended to write, but the request was a welcome challenge when my brain needed it most. It gave me the opportunity to explore the beats of a heist, and figure out how to write romance when the two characters can never be together.
6. Out of Sight* - It had been months since I'd written anything adult; I was beginning to wonder if I'd lost the ability. Luckily, I got this request, which encouraged me to not only return to that genre, but also go outside my comfort zone. And I got to explore more of Y/N/Sarah's life before she moved to Gotham to boot! 🙂
If you would like to do this, I'm tagging @rommies, @iartsometimes, @sabrinaeileensnape, @ralugraphics, @wuika, and @forever-fleck!
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Ok, sooo I just wanted to spread some love to some wonderful people who matter a lot to me: even tho I never saw them in real life, I don't care!! What matters is that, even if they don't know, they manage to put a smile on my face every time I see them in my notifications. It's also important to refer that I deeply appreciate all my followers. The ones who I'll mention down below are the ones who I interact and see more often in my notifications. So yeahhh, here we go:
@heavymetalnarwhal / @feral-trash-panda: the special cutie who talks to me every day and who actually makes an effort to get a nice and decent conversation with me! Hey girlie, you know what?? I ADORE you. Thank you so, so much for being so nice and patient with me, I won't forget!! 💖
@moonimagines: my other sweetheart, my beautiful, my love, the precious girl who's always supporting me in the comments of my fics, tagging me and asking me questions when almost nobody else does. Do you know how much that means to me?? I APPRECIATE YOU!! 💗
@jokersspookyhyena: my favorite writer of all time. Every time I see she has posted a new fic, my heart starts pumping wildly!! Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to read your work, to make me feel SO excited, accepted and happy (and horny lmao) for reading them, I love your work and I love you!! 💜💚
@harlequinjoke: Idk if you will see this, but I still want to tell you that no matter for how long we haven't talked, you will always be my sweet Harlequin. The first who I really talked to and enjoyed every moment/conversation. You're such a kind and pretty soul, you're so funny, so cute... you are perfect!! Love you a lot beautiful ❤️🖤
@ajokeformur-ray: ohh this girl right here should get the award of the kindest soul on this planet!! We have only talked a few times, but I could still see how nice, how dedicated, how patient and kind you are. You are genuine and good to everyone, and that's such a wonderful gift to this world! I'm happy I had the pleasure of meeting someone like you... oh wait, that's not possible because you're unique! Never change who you are ❤️
@mermaidpowers1 this angel!! The one who always appears in my notifications, the one who requested me a fanfic when I wanted to write, the one who's always there and we barely shared a word! I wish I could talk to you more, because I really like you! 🤗🧡
@liz-rdwitch: my beautiful, my sweetheart. We've stopped talking for a while, but I still like you so so much! I wish I could talk to you again, because you're so so nice!! It would be a pleasure to go back to the old days lol 💕
@arthurflecc: you... you're just... amazing! I have no words to describe you... You offered to help me whenever I needed it most, you could be mad at me or at something that we both know, however you chose to be kind and respectful, which is something that I deeply admire in you and won't forget. Thank you so much for everything, you are an amazing person!! 💚
@fan-of-pretty-much-2-much: well, of course I wouldn't forget about you!! I love your comments and opinions on my fics, it really makes my days better!! Thank you so, so much for it, I truly appreciate it and you as well 🤍
@mountainjiwish: my bestieee!! You should get so much more recognition for your incredible, unique and extraordinary work. You have a future in writing, my man! Thank you for all you did for me, I couldn't think of anyone better to be by my side. You're my rock, my confident, (this will sound controversial, but you know what I mean) even my brother! Thank you for being in my life, I appreciate you a lot 🖤🖤
@bloodinmylamb0: Ohh girl, you should know how strong, nice and courageous you are!! I love chatting with you, you're such an interesting person to talk to. I wish you all the best luck in this world, and can't wait to see you happy for good!! Whenever you need it, I will be always here 💓
@jokerownsmysoul: omggg you're so, so nice and kind!! Such an angel that we have here: you're so cute, so kind-hearted, and I appreciate every comment you make! Thank you for liking my work, there's nothing that makes me happier than to know that! 💘
@impulsiveclown: Ohh I won't forget about you!! Your comments are so, so precious to me. They make my heart melt just from reading them! Thanks for all your support on my fics, it means a lot to me, sweetie 💞
The beauties who will be tagged after this essay, mean so much to me as well! I just can't say much about you because I haven't talk to you yet (but I wish!!), so I don't know exactly what to say. However, I still appreciate each and every single one of you, and let me tell you that whenever you need it, you can always send me a message! I will always be here, helping whenever you need anything, and I'm available to talk about whatever you want 💝: @arthurflecksgirl @arthurskitten @ode-to-ledger @jokerslittlekeeper @joaqz-phoenix @loveletterstoledger @antonija89 @jokers-pencil @melancholiqueclown @ivedescoveredheathsjoker @hypnoticjoker @joaquinfeed @call-me-harley-quinn @ohallthecrushes @daddyarthurfleck @daincrediblegg @royaleclown @anyatheladyclown @jxkermp4 @notcallingyoualiar @ladyoftheseastuff @funtomimagines @arthurjokersgirl @lchan3706 @tsukiakarinobara @arthurflecksboothang @into-crazy @forever-fleck @honking4joker @clownpropsandcigarettes @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend @iartsometimes @chocolateanddemons @ellovett (I'm so sorry if I didn't tag someone!! I'll probably add you once I notice <33)
#i appreciate all of you so much#thank you for being born#thank you for following me#thank you for supporting me#i love my fandom#i love you all#Joker fandom is the best#spreading love#joker fandom
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I don't know if you would do it... But can you put here some links of Arthur getting blowjobs imagines? 👀 From your blog too, please
FINALLY getting around to do this! Thanks for your patience, nonnie! Had so much help putting this together with @/fleckcmscott, who is also on this list!💗
NSFW by nature so all recs are under the cut!!!
MINORS DNI OR BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT
A Only Way To Love You (Part 2) written by @jokerownsmysoul
Untied written by @sweet-nothings04
Ignited written by @/sweet-nothings04 (here, Arthur is masturbating alone while imagining a blowjob)
Nice To See You Again written by @/sweet-nothings04
Watch What Happens; Chapter 21 written by @fleckcmscott (exposition isn't necessarily required in order to enjoy the blowjob in this chapter, though I do recommend reading the whole series because it's phenomenal😍)
Pre-Show written by @/fleckcmscott
Test Of Time written by @/fleckcmscott
Backward, Forward (part 2) by @/fleckcmscott
You go down on Joker (this is the only blowjob fic I've written but it's very short and doesn't quite fit in with everyone else's but that's okay🥰)
There will undoubtedly be MORE fics but these were the ones CM and I were able to find while we brainstormed about this, so if you're reading this and can think of a fic we've not thought about in the moment, then feel free to reblog this with other links; we can get a recommendation train going!!!!💗
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How is your day going game
Thank you @jokerownsmysoul for tagging me, you fucking angel, I'm sending you cosmic hugs rn
How has your day been?
Pretty good! I just got back from my first gig in a couple months. It was a very private and very small wedding, and I made hella cash lol
What's the last thing that made you smile?
My boyfriend Wesley being the cutest and handsomest man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing 😭
I have a very special type of love for Arthur Fleck that I don't have for any real person, but he's different. My boyfriend and I love each other more wholeheartedly than I ever thought possible, and although I don't believe in soulmates, I have no doubt he's the one for me. Not to mention he humors all my Arthur/Joker obsessing without question, and he even beta-reads every chapter of my fic, which is a huge bonus lmaooo
What's keeping you entertained these days?
Working on my fic and playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons mostly, lol. I've also been in the process of moving, so I'm packing boxes whenever I'm not doing that, and it's ☆~stressful~☆
If you're in some kind of quarantine/isolation, is there anything you'd like to achieve in this time?
Well, I'd like to completely finish my fic, but that's not going to happen sooooo
Idk I'd like to get a little better at guitar maybe? I'm pretty good on piano, but I wanna broaden my horizons a bit
Post a selfie if you're comfortable with that.
Here's a pic of me absolutely serving LOOKS right before I left for that wedding this morning (jk I hate this outfit but take it anyway)

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thank you for tagging me @scarface-1983 🥺🫶🏻 sorry this took me a bit to get done💖 btw good luck on your exam you got this!!!!💖💖
rules: tag 9 people you're interested in getting to know better. no pressure if you don't want to :)
favorite color: yellow💛✨
currently reading: a novelization of the Patriot (2001)
last song: she loves control - camila cabello
last series: only murders in the building (if we’re talking about tv)
last movie: insomnia (2002)
sweet/spicy/savory: sweet or spicy i love both equally
currently working on: my scarecrow (1973) fic💗
tagging: @purelypacino @ghoulishbehaviour @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much @jokerownsmysoul
thank u for the tag @grungehearted <3
rules: tag 9 people you're interested in getting to know better. no pressure if you don't want to :)
favorite color: red
currently reading: nothing atm
last song: i'll take care of you by beth hart
last series: dynasty... i think? its been so long lol
last movie: across the line: the exodus of charlie wright (2010)
sweet/spicy/savory: spicy
currently working on: passing my exam in two weeks lol (help
tagging @melis-writes @rosesloveletters @fruitcage <3
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How are you doing tag game
Thanks @jokershyena and @ithinkimaperson for tagging
How has your day been?
Good, but could be better. Could be back at my cafe and working on actual career-making stuff. Could be not in the same room as my mom for five minutes. Could be fucking Arthur’s brains out.
What’s the last thing that made you smile?
Listening to Sleeping with the Television On by Billy Joel in the car to get coffee all by myself. (also @jokerownsmysoul‘s tit fic. I love Arthur tiddy worship and that scratched an itch like u wouldn’t believe)
What’s keeping you entertained these days?
Old movies with my dad (watched Cleopatra last night), answering anons about anything and everything Arthur (which yes I want more please send).
If you’re in some kind of quarantine/ isolation is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time?
I’d just like to come out of this with my fucking sanity and health intact. If don’t I come out of this with the crippling fear I’m never gonna be able to write again I’ll be shocked an elated and I’ll put the fear of god into everyone on this earth because of it.
Post a selfie if you’re comfortable with that

Y’all see my face so much fuck that so have a photo of my darling Bubby who apparently goes into my dad’s garage to look for me and gets sad when I’m not there and slept on my sweater for like an hour yesterday because apparently he misses me THAT much
Whoever wants to do it have at it. Also @saulsgoodman @ifridiot @gothjoaquin @brunette-smurfette @jokerownsmysoul @antonija89 
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4, 7, 18 🌺
Thank you for the asks @jokerownsmysoul 🤍
4. What fandom’s/ship’s fan fiction do you read the most? - I read a lot of both Jokers (L!Joker and P!Joker, including Arthur) and Patrick Verona's fanfics. Sometimes I read Supernatural and Kai Anderson ones, they are really good as well!
7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry? - I hope I don't sound egocentric, but I think it was one of my Arthur's fanfics (I know she is real) because I felt his pain while rereading it and maybe I was sensitive at the moment, idk haha
18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?- YES!! Ultimately I've been going out a lot and having driving lessons, so I don't have much time like I used to have. But in school time, I always skipped the studies to read fanfics. It was concerning, really... but I couldn't help it, I just love my fandom’s work too much <3
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Oh good christ... here we go I'm gonna have to list them by fandom:
BRUNO MADRIGAL:
NSFT Alphabet (it's tradition)
Made For You
Untitled Oral fic
Perrito Perfecto
MIDNIGHT MASS:
Caught
Confession
Sacrament
Magdalene
Courage
Pitch
The Bells of St. Patricks
HOLY TRINITY (Father Paul x Bruno x Reader)
Hail Mary
Last Rite
JOKER 2019:
As Time Goes By Part 2 and 3
Tiny Dancer
Arkham
You Can't Spell Slaughter without Laughter
Hear My Name, Carnival
Room With A View
Rocket Man
Homeward, Bound
Aftermath (multiple chapters)
STARGATE SG-1:
Bridge
Burn Your Bra
Dress Blues Down
Locked
Strip Chess
DRAGON AGE:
Cullen BJ
Call (Chapter 1- but I have a LOT of dialogue WIP's- this was gonna be a loooooong fic lmao)
Canon Divergence Series (A series of nitty gritty details and dialogues between Thanna Aeducan and her party- including Morrigan, Alistair and Zevran)
The Dark Ritual
MISC.
Swing and A... (Ralph Branca- 42)
The Stranger (John Tyler- TMYS- though most of you have seen this already)
Fit For A Queen (Jotun!Loki- What If)
Public Enemy Number 1 (Heath Ledger Joker)
Paper Birds (Noctis- FFXV)
Viper's Den (Ardyn- FFXV)
Riding High (Noctis- FFXV)
The Siren of Styx (Zagreus- HADES)
hmmmmm I guess I tag (BUT NO PRESH): @avocado-writing@peachinfusedtea@jokerownsmysoul@the-weird-dane@ajokeformur-ray@tsukiakarinobara and honestly anyone who sees this and wants to join in bc I'm too lazy to tag more people lmao 😂😂😂
WIP TITLE TAG
So I was tagged by @faelanvance (thank you very much for this!) for this game...

Now, I'm probably cheating because I only have a long WIP, the rest being short stories/fanfic/drafts for future projects (I have a ton of projects, point is I don’t like to write multiple long original stories at the same time), but...
-Pages of darkness, song of light definitivo (fanfiction)
-310-Lieto fine (Happy ending)
-Bad Boy (fanfiction)
-bozza 2 (draft 2)
-bozza 3
-bozza 4
-bozza cavalieri ("knights draft")
-bozza cenerentola ("Cinderella draft")
-bozza fanfiction Kalevala
-bozza fantascienza ("sci-fi draft")
-bozza fantasy angst
-bozza fluff
-bozza goti ("goth draft")
-bozza horror
-bozza l'ultima clessidra probabilmente provvisorio ("The last hourglass draft")
-bozza monte bibele
-bozza retelling sirenetta ("little mermaid retelling draft")
-bozza scarecrow
-bozza torture ("torture draft")
-bozza villain ("villain draft")
-bozza
-Il comando del Guardiano (The Guardian's command)
-Il leopardo e la pantera (The leopard and the panther - technically not a WIP as I finished it)
-La Menade (The Maenad)
-Lunyanverse
-Promemoria dialogo il frutto dell'odio ("The fruit of hate dialogue memo)
-Storia dark ("dark story")
I have translated the titles for any non-Italian speaking reader.
I don’t know this many people that write so I tag (no pressure at all) @iluz @amatulmannan @introvert-in-hiding @imjustalonesomewriteblr @nekroexstasisvampyria @asablehart @worldofomniaa @the-finch-address @prisma-the-pretend-avenger @graaaaceeliz
(And if a writer stumbles on this, feel free to join!)
#and this is just stuff that has some fleshed out bits!!!!#AND NOT EVEN HALF THE FANDOMS THAT I HAVE WIP'S FOR#I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING WHEN I SAY I HAVE TOO MANY WIPS#anyway go nuts#ask game#tag games
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a only way to love you - part one
A/N: I need a place to drop my love for hands and tummy, especially Arthur’s ones that are my religion lmao, also I wanted to give my own contribution. This is what came out, two pieces but linked by the same thread. To be honest I’m not very proud of these pieces, I could have done better but that’s okay <33 I don’t know if any of you wanted to be tagged in my stuff so in doubt I don’t tag anyone at all lmao I don't want to bother you sksks I hope you like it.
Summary: Arthur deserves to be loved entirely, but there are parts of his body that have deeper wounds and need a special love treatment. Also you're obsessed with Arthur's hands and put love on them. Hands love treatment: that's it, that's the fic. part two: tummy love treatment
Pairings: Arthur x Reader Content: angst, comfort
Warnings: mention of past trauma, wounds
Word count: 3484
A/N: english is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, I’m still learning.

Arthur was a piece of art to you.
There was nothing about him your mind couldn’t resist. For those who didn’t know him and could only look at him from afar his body looked unhealthy, thin, weak and fragile, yet the only thing you could see when you looked at him was a perfection which only imperfect things can have; the only perfection which really matters. A forgotten, neglected, fragile and consumed perfection, beaten by a life that with Arthur had been hard, much more than he could bear.
It was easy for you to catch yourself looking at him, mesmerized by all the tragic beauty his body was wearing like an invisible blanket built from all the pain he had faced in his life.
Everything that life had inflicted upon him had been absorbed not only by his soul, whose pieces Arthur had always had to carry, but also by his body. Yet you wouldn’t have wanted him any other way than in his extraordinary and rare way which dressed him as a garment made of past and experiences.
You got lost in his tired eyes which for an inexplicable reason they always had inside of them a glow that never went away despite their tiredness and that would sparkle even in the darkness, like a lighthouse in the night which illuminates the coast of the sea. Every time you looked at him, his eyes reminded you of the stars that even after they died keep still shining. And despite all the pain he had to face, whose unforgettable consequences would follow him throughout his life, he had never ceased to have in his eyes the true life sparkling in his emerald green pupils as if it were the reflection of the sunlight at the bottom of a lake. Perhaps in his eyes resided all the life his body didn’t hold and that’s why they were so bright they looked like living crystals.
You got lost in his slender torso where the rib cage glowed through his skin, where you liked to pass your fingers and kiss each rib one by one which reminded you of those roots of trees that pierce the ground and begin to grow on the surface; you yourself got lost in his arms, which were defined by muscles whose curves you clung to every time you made love and which kept you anchored in the sea of pleasure in which you would have liked to get lost, if it weren’t for Arthur who waited for you on the shore every single time.
And most of all, you loved his hands. Hands have always fascinated you, but you swore you were obsessed with Arthur’s. You thought about that every time your eyes were immersed in looking at them and your mind could never wake up from the hypnotic state his hands made you reach, a state you wouldn’t let go until Arthur realized you were watching him, bringing you back to reality; as it happened this night.
You were on the bed and the TV on lit up the room of a ghostly blue light that shone in the bedroom walls and illuminated you two, its volume was so low it seemed a silent companion of your mind that at this time was totally directed towards Arthur and, above all, his hands.
Arthur was laying with his back resting on the mountain of pillows behind both of you, his hands resting on his lap. Although he was focused on watching TV, he noticed with the corner of his eye that your gaze was fixed on watching something he had not been able to decipher and he would’ve sworn you had not even realized it. “Y/N?". A jolt ran through your whole body and your mind awoke from this hypnotic state.
You lifted your head placed on his shoulder to look him in the eyes in a rash move, as if he had just woken you up from a dream in a brusque way. "Arthur?" you repeated imitating him and letting a guilty smile mark your lips. “What… what are you doing? Are you okay?” His circumspect eyes stared at you as he placed his right hand on your face to caress your cheek in a worried gesture; you closed your eyes, purring as soon as his hand touched your skin. “I’m okay, love. Just watching your hands.” You rubbed your cheek in his palm nuzzling into his touch even more. Arthur giggled in a shy expression and stroked your cheek with his thumb.
"My hands? What’s with my hands?" Before he could move his hand away from your face you placed yours over his and moving lightly your lips toward his skin you printed a gentle kiss on the heels of his hand, lingering your lips on his soft skin to breathe in his unmistakable smell.
There was something in his hands you just couldn’t explain. When you looked at them it seemed to you that time had passed faster on his hands than the rest of his body, because they were marked by dark spots and pads that a young man like him rarely have on his own skin.
That’s probably why you liked them so much: in his hands you could read the story of his whole life.
His body had absorbed all the wounds and bruises Arthur had seen grow outside of him and then they were rooted inside of him, into his soul. Every time he got jumped, every wound in his body which had already healed but whose weight had never gone away, every wound in his soul that remained open because too fragile and deep to heal, all the pain and suffering he had endured and all he had lived until this moment, his body had gathered him and had made it converge right there, in his hands.
You really believed that every time the wounds on his body healed, their heavy presence immediately moved on his hands, maybe that’s why they seemed much older than the rest of his body. His hands were the carnal reminder of all the pain Arthur had experienced when he was young and had forgotten, and of all the pain he was aware of but tried to hide.
Arthur had been told since he was a little boy to hide his pain putting on a happy face, that’s why he’d held it back his whole life, and the only way his body had found to get him to vent was to use his pain as a brush to paint his hands and to give them that worn-out and eaten look.
Yet you never wanted to see hands other than his on his body; of him you loved all that he was and all that he had been, it was inevitable that you would love the part of his body which had absorbed the weight his soul bore every day, on which his life had converged and on which you could read the remains his pain had left him.
When you looked at them, you could only see a part of him who deserved attention and care as much as his lips did when you kissed them. Probably they were one of the parts more worthy of love because his hands held back the memory of all the wounds the rest of his fleshy body could heal, no longer carrying the sign. Yet even if they healed and externally were not visible their memory remained there, on the surface of his worn hands.
"They’re so beautiful, Arthur. They’re… they’re just like you." Arthur looked at you frowning in a confused expression. “Like me?” He repeated, his confusion had shifted to the tone of his voice. You smiled shyly and understanding, you were as confused as he was because you couldn’t find the right words to make him understand how precious his hands were. “They deserve to be loved, Arthur.” Just like you, you said silently in your mind and saw Arthur smiling in return as he also thought of these same words, and silently understood what you meant. A mutual conversation was created through your minds thinking in unison and understanding each other by speaking in unspoken words. You took his hands and held them between yours, staring at them as if you wanted to touch them through your eyes. Each of your thumbs was dedicated to caress gently the back of each hand of his.
Not only did his pain emerge from his hands, but everything that was part of him too. The love he felt for you, his fragility, his vulnerability so vivid that sometimes you were even afraid to break them even by touching them with your fingertips. Every time he touched you with those hands all the delicacy and grace Arthur carried inside emerged out of them and seemed to dress his hands with a different fabric than the one that dressed his entire body.
You remained silent for a few minutes watching them, Arthur understood that in your words there were hidden thoughts you still had to say out loud and looked at you curious, awaiting, while you were studying his hands with moved eyes, your body was trembling as if you weren’t prepared enough to look at Arthur’s beauty before your eyes.
“I want to… love them.” You said shortly after continuing to stare at them almost embarrassed to utter this desire aloud, Arthur giggled blushing in return. "You're already loving me, Y/N."
"No, Arthur." You moved your head from both sides with a sharp move and raised your eyes to look him in the eye.
You approached him further enough for your noses touch each others lightly. "Listen," you reluctantly let go off the grip of his hands but shortly after you wrapped his face so faster you didn’t give time to the void left by the absence of his touch you felt on your hands to spread all over your skin, because it had already been nourished by the touch of his cheeks when you wrapped his face with yours. You looked him straight in the eyes intensely, your eyes were piercing and determined. Arthur was surprised to see how heavy was the load your face was carrying as you watched him. "I really want to love on them. I... I want to love on you piece by piece, like the way you deserve to be loved."
You were so overwhelmed by the love you felt for him that sometimes you couldn’t speak without a trembling voice. Arthur had a surprised, confused expression, but not because he thought it was absurd what you were saying, but because even though you were together for a long time by far he was still surprised to see the love you felt for him and how you were able to find new ways to love him and to make him feel loved each day more deeply than the previous one. He would never cease to be overwhelmed by the love you showed him and would never cease to be surprised to be loved by you so much as well, sometimes he was even bewildered that someone could love him with such fervour and strength of soul.
You brought slowly, very slowly, your lips close to him looking into his eyes. The closer you got, the more the desire to feel your lips on his grew within Arthur and reached his gaze turned to yours with anticipation. The expectation of that kiss increased his impatience and was watered when you passionally intertwined his lips with yours in an open-mouth kiss, closing both of your eyes in unison. Shortly after you broke the kiss but you were still so close that your lips still touched one another as you kept speaking, your hands still wrapping his face.
“Let me love you, Arthur. Please?” He smiled softly letting your hands feel his dimples deepen under your touch and you smiled in return, knowing that in his smile he hid a yes not said openly. You took the previous position and with your shaking hands you held his right hand as the open palm facing you.
You traced the lines of the palm with your fingertips as if you were walking the streets created by his skin and traveling them with your every sense. Through your fingertips you felt the grooves and ruts his skin formed, folds of skin in which you wanted to sink and lose yourself inside him.
When you examined with your fingers every line of his palm you slowly brought it to your face and laid a series of kisses along its outline. His skin was soft and smelled of him, your lips were lost between these folds, his cupped hand welcomed your face in a warm wrapper while you kissed his palm with parted lips.
With your lips you followed the sinuous curve at the base of his thumb peppering his skin, gradually reaching the heels of his hand on which you planted slowly small sweet kisses. Shortly after, you laid a kiss right in its center, on the most sensitive part. “You’re tickling me,” he said giggling and you looked up at him worried, noticing he had his eyes still closed and a smile that had highlighted his dimples. “Sorry, love. Should I stop?”
Arthur moved his head from both sides gently. “Oh no, sweetheart. I didn't mean it. I’m actually enjoying it.” You smiled at him knowing relaxing the worried look on your face and continued to pay attention to the palm of his hand making sure that no point of his palm remained unkissed; but this time, between one kiss and another, you were leaving wet trails on his skin, trying to trace the folds his hand created with the tip of your tongue. His hands had a taste similar to the one of his lips but more decided and a bitter aftertaste, but which you loved to death.
Your tongue was drawing a mosaic of humidity and freshness on his skin that sparked a heat to Arthur’s core which with every kiss you laid on his skin expanded more and more while with his eyes still closed and with his short breath he followed the movements of your lips that were loving him.
You felt the same little tremors which coming from his skin shaking his hand through your lips as if they were small lightning bolts running through his veins, while you filled the inner part of his fingers with the same kind of open-mouthed kisses, kissing each phalanx and each hill formed by his fingers, inserting your tongue in the space between his fingers before turning his hand to take care of the back.
The palm of his hand rested on yours and through this contact you felt the wet trails that your tongue had left on his skin. You smiled to yourself at the thought that your wet footprints were leaving a mark on his worn out hands and you hoped that, perhaps, your loving touch might one day replace all the pain those hands had touched and experienced and that they carried on themselves.
You didn’t want to change him or erase his story because every single thing he went through made him the man you loved, and there was nothing about him you didn’t love with all of yourself. What you wanted was to weaken his wounds by sprinkling your love on them, as if it were a cream smeared on an open wound. You wanted to kiss him with such fierce and heavy ardour that you would take away all the suffering that was in his worn hands.
When you lifted up your face to look at him and no longer feeling the touch of your lips he opened his eyes, crossing yours. His gaze carried a fire that lit you from within, his short breath was in full contrast with his relaxed expression and his face muscles were relaxed. You smirked proudly knowing what even the simpler touch of your lips could do to him, before you put your lips back on his skin and began to kiss the back of his hand as you had done just before with the palm, still feeling Arthur’s eyes fixed on your movements.
The skin of his hands looked like a sheet of paper in which his past and his present had been written, everything that was and would be was there, written through the swollen veins that covered the back of his hands as if they were words that on this sheet of paper were writing his story and flowed between his long and bony fingers as if they were rivers running along well defined paths.
You wish you could have flowed into his hands just as his veins did, you wish you were even his veins to flow into him and love him from within. You would have found a new way to love, more all-encompassing and deep than any human being had ever loved another person before.
You read the words in his veins by exploring them with your lips and by tracing a wet trail along their length as if you really wanted to be able to read all the stories his hands carried with them. Through the wet trail and the kisses you were drawing along his back you finally reached his knuckles. You raised your eyes crossing Arthur’s gaze and keeping it locked on his you led your parted lips on the knuckle at the base of his middle finger, kissing it slowly.
You teased him with a starving look before starting to suck his knuckle by moving the tip of your tongue around it to soak it completely while your lips were pushing his skin toward your mouth. You stopped looking at each other’s eyes when Arthur closed his own and opened his mouth to release a sweet moan of pleasure.
"Y/N..." You grinned with his knuckle still between your lips and proudly repeated the same dance of lips and tongue with the others knuckles, kissing and sucking each one of them while the sweet whining coming out of Arthur’s lips alternated with the rhythmic movement of his chest rising and falling quickly to catch the air your caresses were taking away from him.
“Y/N, just kiss me.” It was what went out in a sweet prayer when by now you had begun to kiss also the knuckles of the other hand, repeating the same movements and kissing the back as you had done so far with the other one. You smiled tenderly at the pleading groan he had let slip. You couldn’t have done otherwise than to grant him every touch he needed and removed your lips from his hand, more than happy to satisfy his request.
Before you could make any other move he rushed toward you and surrounded your face with his hands to approach it to his and in a second his hungry lips were on yours. His tongue pressed impatiently on your lips to allow him to enter your mouth and explore it with such lust it expressed the wonderful torment that you made him feel only with just your mouth until then.
Soon this kiss turned by itself into a tangle of bodies, tongues and caresses you both couldn’t resist.
The first time he touched you, you were surprised how such worn hands like his which held so much pain inside could have such a delicate and gentle touch, but after all the time you spent knowing him and loving him every day more than the previous one, by now you knew he had absorbed from this pain the ability to love and the will not to hurt anyone.
Good people manage to absorb from their own pain only what can help them to do good, and Arthur was one of those. This pain had helped Arthur to understand how important it was not to allow anyone to live the same wounds he had; not surprisingly his desire in his life was to make people smile.
When he had met you more than ever this desire had become stronger within him, to the point that he was afraid to spread his pain even through his touch and knowing well how destructive it was in the early months he was even afraid to touch you.
But not anymore. Now he was learning to let himself be loved without feeling indebted and without being afraid that all of that could end if only he had done something wrong.
His touch was still as delicate and gentle as the first time and that would never change. It was the touch he granted the world not to break it and the touch he bestowed on what he loved, and he loved you more than anything else.
part two.
#arthur fleck x reader#arthur x y/n#arthur fleck x you#arthur fleck#arthur fleck imagine#joker#joker x you#joker x y/n#joker x reader#joker imagine#joker 2019#joaquin phoenix#joaquin phoenix x reader#joaquin phoenix x y/n#joaquin phoenix x you#joaquin phoenix joker#joker fiction#jokerownsmysoul fic#jokerownsmysoul#joker smut#arthur fleck smut#arthur fleck angst#joker angst
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together in the endless night
Summary: on a cozy night a thunderstorm catches the whole city causing a power cut. You’ve always been afraid of the dark, you wouldn’t have been able to get through the night if it weren’t for Arthur, who managed to make you smile again and to muffle your fear with magic and the love that binds you one another
Pairings: Arthur x Reader, Content: soft, comfort
Warnings: nyctophobia (fear of the dark)
Word count: 4090
Request: Hey are you doing requests? If so, can you do something about Arthur x reader in a power cut, where she is scared of the dark and Arthur comforts her, lights some candles, maybe they get cozy under a blanket. Just comfort and fluff
A/N: rainy prompt is definitely my weakness lojhygtfdsxcv I can’t help myself to put rain everywhere
A/N: english is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, I’m still learning.

It was a rainy Saturday night there in Gotham, you and Arthur were on the couch intertwined in a hug and wrapped in a blanket which keeping you cocooned made you share the same warmth. Arthur was sitting on the couch, his legs stretched out and the ankle crossed, his arms around your body, holding you tightly as humanly as possible. You were crouched under his left shoulder, your head resting on his chest and your left arm surrounding his waist. You were so pressed one another that probably not even air was circulating anymore between you two.
Saturday was your favorite day: you both had the day off and took advantage of it to catch up all the hours of the week spent being away from each other because of work. On Saturday you devoted yourselves totally to the other and especially in the evening you liked to be curled up together. It didn’t matter how you spend your time as much as neither of you cared about organizing special outings every day, you cared very little. All you wanted to do was spend your days together, simply enjoying each other’s presence, and you didn’t want to spend your time any other way. You wanted to be together and that was all you cared about. Just stay.
Sometimes you watched one of the movies you had recorded during the week only to watch them together on Saturday nights. Rarely did you watch a movie if the other couldn’t, so it was born between you the habit of recording and enjoying them together. Each time it happened, it made you always laugh noticing that each of you recorded everytime only those movies that could please the other, and never you yourselves. Sometimes you mixed each other in a dance of love whose step you knew by heart and, at other times, all you needed was to sit next to each other, each of you devoted to his hobbies with the reassurance to feel the warmth of the other beside you, and this was enough for you to enjoy the evening.
This saturday night you were watching one of those Charlie Chaplin’s movies you had recorded a few days earlier just for Arthur, thinking how much he liked them, and even though he insisted on watching the movie that he recorded thinking of you, in the end you finally convinced him. You wanted to cuddle him any way you could, like the way he wanted to cuddle you as well, so even convincing him to watch one of the movies he liked was for you one of the many ways to make him feel loved, to show him that his desires mattered. Every once in a while you could hear him smiling, other times he swung slowly with his body still pressed on yours, following the rhythm of the movie’s songs as he used to do every time you watched a musical.
A light rain had crashed against the walls of the building all evening, a sweet music which had now turned into a watery lullaby by the slow and suggestive rhythm that had caused you to fall into a soporific state in which you could only feel your love fluttering in the air around you. By now you were wrapped in the warmth of your bodies and the movie seemed to have lost your attention, although your still awake minds could hear the voices playing out of the TV on that was illuminating the room with a ghostly blue light, since you were napping cradled in each other’s breath. Your head still resting on his chest, Arthur’s head resting on yours, so relaxed and comfortable in the heart and in the body of the other you were while the light rain was still pouring over the apartment that you would have sworn this night you would have fallen asleep on the couch if a sudden thunderstorm had not exploded, waking you both up from the slumber where both your minds were.
You both opened your eyes suddenly and raising your heads in a confused gesture you looked at each other, locking your eyes and smiling with complicity as you regained consciousness. "Looks like there’s a severe thunderstorm out there," Arthur said and you nodded, happiness took over your eyes as your ever more awake mind realized that beyond those walls a thunderstorm had exploded in all its power, just like you always loved. You watched him rubbing his eyes that by now had become accustomed to the dark, slightly blinded by the bright light of the television screen. He looked at you and smiled, recognizing the happiness in your eyes, "and we both dozed off, sweetheart.” He kept saying and giggling softly he caressed your sleepy face, tracing the marks which your sleep had left on your eyes, still slumbering.
"Yeah, we were both tired." You laid your face on his shoulder after relieving your sleeping muscles, settling more comfortably on him; you had no intention of letting him go. "Plus, you’re so cozy and warm..." You closed your eyes and squeezed him hard to make sure that the feeling that even his presence gave you was still as you remembered it before you both fell asleep. Then you moved enough to place your head on his stomach and with your left arm still resting on him you surrounded his tummy. The fabric of his sweater was boiling, the blanket you still had on your bodies had absorbed the warmth of both, warming you even more, and despite you were feeling his bones protruding through your skin, to you Arthur was the best place where to sleep. His scent was everywhere around you and inside you, you were constantly hungry for it.
"Am I?" He had welcomed you in his arms adapting himself to the position you had taken, smiling knowing, and with the hand with which he was still holding you he moved a strand of hair behind your ear which in this position had fallen on your eyes, and he kept caressing your forehead right after. You nodded, the only thing which came out of your lips was an absent-minded grumbling while between the sound of the storm, his fingers caressing your forehead and his body clinging to yours, sleep seemed to have made room again in your mind. Arthur smiled at himself, realizing how tired you were and kept playing with your hair letting your body indulge in this sleep; the movie had totally lost his attention which now was devoted only to you. He loved watching you sleep, and he would have held you close to him for a while longer, until he would have kissed you and woke you up to go to bed.
Minutes had passed when a thunder much louder than the previous ones caused a power cut and the room became filled in a blanket made of shadows and darkness. You were still napping with your head on Arthur’s stomach and this thunder made you jump, sit you down and get away from his body, even though you didn’t want to, taking away from you all of your tiredness. You turned towards him, and not finding his gaze to welcome you in the blue light that your eyes had left just before you dozed off on him, you felt a cold shiver running down your body.
"Arthur?" you asked looking for him with your hands. "I’m right here, baby. Looks like the storm caused a power cut." In the dark he managed to find your hands and stroked them; keeping them between his he noticed that your body was shaking. "Sweetheart, you’re shaking. Are you okay?" You mumbled, a frustrated moan came out of your lips. "I’m okay, it’s just…"
You’ve always been afraid of the dark, but you’ve never had to face a situation like this with Arthur before and he was completely unaware of how much the dark might could scared you. You hoped you never have to face this conversation, actually; talk about this phobia you had since childhood embarrassed you. You wanted to be strong for Arthur, you never wanted him to see your vulnerability. "You know you can tell me everything, Y/N." He kissed your back to encourage you to talk. Your well-being was his priority, he understood that it was one of the moments when you needed his reassurance. He caressed the back of your hands with his thumbs as you convinced yourself to speak, within you was growing the knowledge that he would never judge you. Ever. "I just… there’s so much dark…" your voice had returned the childlike and frightened voice of the little girl you had been.
Even knowing that phobias were irrational you were fully aware that this phobia was caused by the feeling of not being able to control all the several things that could have happened in the dark, being totally sucked into yourself, into your mind and into the same dark thoughts which made you have bad dreams. Staying totally in the dark, for you, was to live in a waking nightmare.
"Oh sweetie pie, are you afraid of the dark?" You felt the couch’s fabric moving under your legs, and you knew from this movement that he was approaching you. His face was looking for you in the dark and you both giggled when his lips couldn’t find your forehead and instead he popped a kiss on one of your nostrils. Then he followed your face lingering his lips on your skin without ever took them away from your face and kissed your forehead, as he had wanted to do from the beginning; the contact of his lips on your skin was enough for your shivers to diminish a little. "Come here." You couldn’t see him, but you knew his arms were open for you to enter his embrace and you threw yourself into him as fast as possible. He held you tightly in his arms kissing your hair, you surrounded his neck with your arms.
You both remained silent wrapped in this embrace while the storm, stronger than ever, was tapping forcefully on the building, until your body had stopped shaking thank to him. After making sure you didn’t tremble anymore he kissed your forehead once again, lingering his lips on you for a few seconds before getting off the couch. "I’m gonna get some candles, there’s only one here. Okay?"
Before he could take another step you threw yourself toward him one more time and even in the darkness of the room you were able to easily find his hands, making him leap; you were anchored to his stretched out arm, your hand holding to his in the prayer not to let you go, your heart was racing again without his presence next to yours, which was able to muffle your fears. "Wait."
Arthur turned to you taken by surprise; even though you both still couldn’t see clearly your eyes were getting used to the darkness and you could distinguish the shapes of your bodies facing each other. Each of you looked at the other, and you both were sure that the other was reciprocating. Your eyes could make eye contact anywhere, even in the dark in which you couldn’t see one another.
"What is it, petal?" "Don’t- Don’t go, don’t leave my hand." Arthur melted into a understanding and affectionate smile and approached you even more, enough from his arm to be able to bend and increase the handshake.
"Never, Y/N. For anything in the world." He pressed a kiss on the back of your hand. "I’m sure a single candle is enough." He felt you smiling in the dark, your body was freeing itself from the tension with which you had grabbed his hand just before. "I’m right here next to you, can you be brave for me while I light the candle?"
"I can be brave for you, Arthur." He leaned forward to kiss your forehead, your body and the furniture of the apartment became more and more recognizable, your eyes were getting used to the darkness and for him it was easy to reach the furniture in the living room in which you kept a slightly worn candle. You waited for him curled up on the couch and you found comfort by following with your senses the light steps he took wandering in the room, almost silent by how much grace he held within him even as he was walking, and by looking at his silhouette dancing between the walls merging with the darkness, as if he were an angel who mixed with the places around you to look after you at every moment, and he really was.
It was only thanks to the love that bound you that you found comfort in the dark and even if you couldn’t touch him, just hearing him prowling in the living room helped you not to tremble again. He created a bubble of light in the room as soon as he lit the candle; it couldn’t illuminate the whole room clearly, but Arthur holding it in his hand was enough to the candle light the two of you, and it was the only thing that mattered. He came back shortly after and sat next to you, still holding the candle in his right hand. The candle caressed his face through its warm colors and this shade which reminded you of the sun on an autumn day made his face even more captivating.
His dimples, illuminated from so close, seemed even deeper and bigger, his eyes even more bright and had taken on a particular yellowish green colour, every detail you loved of his face was even more visible, especially the scar on his upper lip that looked deeper. Yes, he was an angel. "Oh, finally I can see you again. I missed being able to see your face. To see you." You stroked his cheek as if you had been apart for a long time, Arthur smiled at you and looking you in the eye did the same. "I missed you too, sweetie pie. I got an idea."
He put the candle on the small table next to the couch smiling to himself, noticing your confused and curious expression. He sat down on the couch with his legs crossed towards you and invited you to do the same. Your knees and barefoot feet were touching each other, a playful smile invaded the faces of both, his brightest as he took the candle and put it in your hands. "Can you hold it?" You nodded and then immediately he took the blanket that had kept you warm this night and put it over your heads and around your bodies, wrapping both of you up and creating a fort, like one of those that children make with sheets and pillows. "See? Now the darkness is gone, it’s just you and me."
It was really just you and Arthur. The blanket covered you both completely from every corner and the light of the candle concentrated in such a small area could illuminate all the space surrounding both of you. Arthur had created a little world in your apartment which only illuminated the two of you, the only thing which reminded you that you weren’t alone and that there was a world outside this bubble of light was the deafening noises of thunder. All the love, all the lustre of love between you was inside this bubble, under the blanket and around you.
"Arthur..." Your heart was pounding, but this time not out of fear, but out of love. The love you felt for this man was so overwhelming that you wondered how a heart, so small and material, could hold such a deep and invisible feeling. It was so big it made you cry. Your eyes were wet and you wondered why you never told Arthur about your phobia even though you knew he would have understood you and comforted you, without underestimating your fears, even if he didn’t share them and they weren’t his.
He would have simply understood. You stroked his cheek and he smiled lovely knowing everything you were telling him through this caress. "It’s... It’s beautiful, honey. Thank you for spending this night with me. For being with me."
"Thank you for being with me, too, Y/N." You gave smiles and knowing caresses each other as the language of your bodies spoke better than you could have ever done, and shortly after Arthur took the candle still in your hands and put it between you two, right in the middle of your feet and of the fort.
"Looky," he pointed out your shadow profiles reflexed on the blanket, "they’re loving each other too.” His look was enchanted. "Just like us." You answered with your gaze fixed on your shadows. You were so lost in though imagining the life of your shadows that you had not noticed that in the meantime Arthur had raised his hands and holding them up behind the candle had created another one on the fabric of the blanket; right in between the shadows of your profiles you have also seen added the one of his hands. You turned to him, his hands were moving with regular movements and his eyes were fixed on the shadow he had created with a proud look. A sweet laugh coming out of your mouth made him laugh too. "What are you doing, honey?" You exclaimed in laughter, between a giggle and another.
He smiled at you showing his teeth and his beautiful crooked tooth showed up in all its imperfection. It was Arthur’s imperfection. Every flaw he had, everything that others would have found out of place or something to be fixed, like this tooth, for you were only words which wrote the poem he was, a poem that through those flaws was told like a mantra. They made him a wonderful creature and made you love him even more. He was a poem you would never forget and you would read it as long as you live. You felt your heart warm with love for him, warmer than the candle that stood between you two and warmer than the blanket that had held you close this night while you were watching the movie.
"I’m performing with shadow puppets, of course." He teased you and smiled proud of his creation as he looked at his hands, like a child after making a beautiful drawing of which he is proud and wants to immediately hang it on the refrigerator. "This is Carnival... well, at least it should be." He held his left hand closed in a fist and his right hand with his fingers wide open pressed on the other hand, right against the wrist, imitating himself wearing Carnival’s wig.
He giggled and began to speak imitating the voice of cartoons. He wanted to cheer you up and take away all the fear the dark had put on you by making you laugh powerfully until you never saw it again. He loved to see you laugh and was always ready to erase the traces of your sadness with his natural gift. It was just something he had always loved: to make you happy through something which had always been within him, he liked the idea of giving you something that belonged only to him and making it yours, too. He wanted to share his passion with you and more than ever he wanted to share all of himself with you.
Life had given him this passion to spread joy and laughter, but it had been so hard on him that in the past he had thought that perhaps it wasn’t what he was really intended for and maybe he should have given it up; finding an ordinary job, paying bills and living in this apartment alone until the end of his days trying to make his life as bearable as possible. But then he met you and everything became immediately clear to him: his purpose was still to bring laughter and joy into the world, and that was exactly what he was doing.
You were that world, his world.
His purpose in life had always been to make you laugh. He had spent so much time concentrating on the phrases his mother used to tell him that he had never thought the world she talked so much about could be a single person, and that the same person would have loved him back, slept in his arms and shared a fort with him on this night, giving him the honor of knowing one of their deepest phobias and allowing him to see them vulnerable. No one had ever accepted him, and no one had ever trusted him enough to be seen vulnerable by him and let him embrace this insecurity and make it lighter.
Arthur kept speaking with Carnival’s voice, smiling more at seeing you laugh than for his performance. "It looks just like him." He purred and blushed, shortly after you joined him in his performance too; you raised your arms and created a shadow puppet which looked like a dog. "Look! I made one too, it’s the only one I know. I’m not as good as you." You said, but still the enthusiasm and pride you had seen before in Arthur’s face now dressed yours too. "It’s okay, Y/N, this one’s my favorite. And you can always play with your imagination."
You nodded and a moment later you were both creating shadow puppets, casting them onto the fabric of the blanket like two babies, laughing and joking childlike while the adult world, the dark and every thunder seemed to be forgotten by both. There were just you both under this fort, illuminated more by your love than by the candle; there were your giggles, your hands which at one point you had intertwined together to create bigger and more complex shadow puppets, and the candle which was burning low and was giving life to those forms made of darkness.
"Are you feeling better, petal?" Arthur said after nearly a quarter of an hour spent creating the strangest and funniest shadow puppets, just when you had burst out laughing at the sight of the Hoyt’s one that Arthur had imitated by talking with a raspy and annoying tone of voice. It was impossible for you to hold back the loud laughter which came out of your stomach. Between one choked laugh and another you were able to answer him and little by little the tone of your voice had changed, your eyes were full of all the gratitude and love you felt for the man of your life.
"All I can see under this fort is you, Arthur. How could I not feel better if the only thing I can see is the man I love?" You took his hands and held them between yours, you both noticed that now the only shadow casted on the blanket was the union of your hands tangled one another just like two knots which only together can work properly. "You are the only light that can sweep away all the darkness I could ever see. You are my light."
"Y/N," you couldn’t tell if the sparkle you saw in his eyes was produced by the candle, which still colored them of the same yellowish green as the spring leaves, or if it was your love he held into his eyes. "I am your light because you’re the one who allows me to shine." You leaned forward and pressed your lips on his, your hands still held tight together and on the fabric of the blanket the shadows of your profiles were still clearly visible, engaged in a kiss just like you.
Your love was just like the fort Arthur built on this night, an entity that protected you both from everything and illuminated only the two of you, keeping you away from the world but without really separating you from it.
Arthur creating this fort had only made it material and visible, touchable, but it had always been there. In the very first moment you met this fort created itself above and around both of you. A place to protect yourselves by holding your hands, a place which kept two bodies safe but within which grew only one soul to share together, in darkness and light.
And that night it was Arthur with this fort and this blanket who muffled the fear that had always resided in you, and he would have done it in every day to come for the very reason that his purpose has always been to take care of you.
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