#joker nsft

[the-muppet-joker]

I Felt Your Embrace

Part 1

Tags: Joker x Kermit, Cosmo Kramer, Joker's Cum Makes Kermit Insane, Cum Harvesting

--Martians (Sesame Street) x Kramer, Vore, and more to come in part 2--

♤♡♧♧

Cosmo Kramer had done some odd jobs in his life, this one was just about to take the cake. He was visiting Gotham on a whim, and saw an ad in the paper for a delivery job that seemed to be a quick cash grab. "Delivery boy wanted for a Mr. Joker, eh? Sounds like I just gotta deliver clown supplies or somethin, like those flowers that shoot people with water, or maybe juggling balls. Shouldn't be too difficult...might even get free clown supplies. You never know, could come in handy..."

He realized, too late, that this Joker was no ordinary clown. Before him was a scene that was equal parts disturbing, errotic, and baffling. A green muppet fellow, a frog by the looks of it, lay in an ecstatic stupor on the floor of the warehouse the Joker had requested Kramer meet him at. The muppet, addressed by the clown as "Kermit" had been in a violent frenzy when Kramer had arrived, and only calmed down when Joker had scooped copious amounts of a strange, sticky fluid out of the hole in his back, storing it safely in a jar. The way Kermit had moaned and shuddered at the contact, and how even in his subdued state he lay twitching on the floor with a blissful, fucked out look in his eyes... Kramer eyed the substance in the jar and gulped nervously. Whatever it was, it sure made that muppet go wild.

The clown who hired him cleared his throat, snapping Kramer out of his thoughts. He looked different than most clowns he had seen: instead of silly, baggy clothes, he wore a tight-fitting, stylish purple suit that complimented his lean figure. Where most clowns had painted a dopey smile, the Joker's milky white face had a sharp, crimson grin. And his eyes... his eyes were what drew Kramer in the most acid green, with a slight glow that matched that of the jar's contents.

"If you're done staring, I'd like to talk business," Joker crooned. Kramer nodded wordlessly, wondering when his mouth had gotten so dry. Joker grinned.

"My darling Kermit over there has a group of acquantences who are... new in town, so to speak. They have a passion for cataloging just about everything on earth in this quaint little book of theirs."

Joker's eyes burned into Kramer's as he spoke, and Kramer was suddenly reminded of a snake constricting its prey.

"They stopped by unexpectedly the other day in the middle of one of me and Kermit's... sessions, and they want a sample of whatever made him act so strangely so they may research it." Joker pressed the jar and a slip of paper into Kramer's sweaty hands. Joker's long, spiderlike fingers brushed against Kramer's and he had to surpress a yelp. Jesus, I don't know if I'm more terrified or turned on by this weirdo, but I gotta snap out of it. You're here for a job, Kramer. Think of the cash, Kramer thought desperately.

"Go to the address on that paper and deliver this. Get their signature confirming they received it, return here, and I will reward you handsomly. Joker finished with a blood-red smile.

"With cash, right? $1000?" Kramer asked, fidgeting. He wasn't sure where to look; hot-creepy clown, moaning muppet, jar of glowing cum in his hands... Jerry was never going to believe this shit.

Joker just smiled even wider, and Kramer babbled an assortment of "sounds good" and "got it boss" type phrases as he stumbled out the door. This clown is outta control, he thought, hoping the folks at the location on the paper would be less strange...

--Part 2 Coming Soon--

[chthonickore]

A tiktok Reddit story had me look through one of the most deranged blogs ever just now 😭😭 wym this person has a Kermit plushie they fuck and hates women

[bougiebutchbitch]

softcore naughties so as not to get myself booted off tungle again <3

[nyansequitur]

always remember to practice proper lab safety (slightly older commission from @/maneymaw)

[jokers-prehensile-boner]

hey uh so when i open pornhub at work it just shows me boobs and stuff, any way to prevent this? its only when im at work

[neonnymphnaomi]

Looking for my next victim

Of

[nostalgic90s]

Toying around with the idea of Jerome Valeska (Gotham series) kidnapping Bruce Wayne (The Joker 2019 movie). Not that I got anything against David Mazouz as Bruce (he is my favorite) but his version of Bruce was kind of a brat hehe, perhaps because Alfred raised him - little man tried to challenge the Court of Owls for crying out loud. That and witnessing his parents death gave him some world experience, at least an understanding of the cruelty of men. Anyway, I like Dante Pereira-Olson's version of Bruce due to his innocence, and naïveté to his innocence. He let some stranger with a clown nose walk up to him and entertain him with magic tricks, before letting the guy (Joker) stick his fingers into his mouth. Bruce didn’t think this man would hurt him, hell he’s so sheltered he probably doesn’t think bad men exist in the first place. As for the reason behind the abduction, it could be the same as Arthur Fleck, in which Jerome truly believes Thomas Wayne is his biological father. However, trying to engage Thomas Wayne ends badly, and it leaves a bitter taste of revenge on Jerome’s tongue. When an unexpected opportunity presents itself, Jerome seizes the moment to whisk his half-brother away.

In other words, I just want Jerome to do really bad things to baby Bruce-

[the-muppet-joker]

A Taste Test of my WIP:

Adam screamed in frustration. How was he meant to populate the earth without Eve? As much as he despised her, he yearned to spread his seed across the land and just... BREED. He balled up his fists into his hair, lost in thought, when suddenly...

A rustling from the bushes, with a hushed, crazed laughter and an amphibious-sounding moan.

"Shhh... Kermit, you have to keep it down, darling~ or the very first man will hear us... or is that what you want, you filthy exhibitionist <3"

Adam's errection perked up, listening. "I think I have found something worth breeding," he thought.

[clowningachievement]

!! For Batman

Ah, Bruce. Yes, Bruce. Brucie. Little Brucely Wayway.

Outside of the suit, he was just a man. A greasy, handsome slice of beef but just some man all the same. But in the suit. The cowl, the cape, the uncomfortably tight material clinging to his every curve. The rippling muscles, the stern looks, often of misery or anger. The delectable way he pulled his punches just enough to try and keep from killing him. The familiar feeling of his hands on his throat.

He was a bitter, angry, hateful, confused little excuse for a man. The tension building beneath the surface. Oh, the seething! The way he cares so deeply, so desperately, the way they are so made for each other, designed divinely as opposites drawn together again and again in bursts of intense passion...

Of course, he knows the romance is largely one sided, but it's hard to resist! They've been a part of each other for so long that to live apart just scarcely seems worth it. As much as he enjoys other playthings, little distractions or hobbies on the side, nothing and no one will ever get between him and that Bat. They are enemies, they will always be enemies, they can't be anything but enemies. And he loves it. Wouldn't have it any other way. ... Wouldn't regret an opportunity to get at that dick though.

[bougiebutchbitch]

MAYBE, Bruce, if you tied up the clown and FUCKED HIM, he would stop KILLING PEOPLE

have ya thought of that??? Huh????? HUH???

[sexy-strings-of-fate]

"Play with yourself pretty boy, give us a show.~~"

--

"Very well~" Joker pulls his red glove off with his teeth, throwing it aside. His fingers dip down to play with his folds. He lets out a soft moan. He'd been getting himself all worked up throughout the stream, and now he finally got to have a little fun.

He rubbed at his clit before pressing a finger into his pussy, and then another. Hid hips rocked back and forth excitedly. "Aaah, I hope I'm not the only one enjoying myself here, darlings~"

[jokers-prehensile-boner]

new sport added to the olympics: competitive watersports

[the-jokers-husband]

My oc and The Joker in the last fic I wrote legitimately can't hurt each other because even if they tried it just devolves into weird sex stuff

[puzzlies]

Well I'm not sure what's worse. People on Twitter voting on polls to have sex with the Joker or to have sex with me.

[sanguine-salvation]

Joker, with great effort, managed to hold up a sledgehammer in one hand and a red card in the other. "Smash or pass- WHOOPS!" Failing to keep her balance she fell to the ground with the sledgehammer being too heavy to wield for her in that way.

[ Send me “Smash or Pass” + a name and my muse will answer with 100% honesty. - ACCEPTING ]

Were it not for Viktor always having the reflexes of a cat with 3AM cryptid zoomies, they might have been victim to the smashier part of that question.

However, from where they were also now planted on their ass— albeit a good safe distance away from the site of the toppled clown princess of crime— they could actually take that question in. Though, they didn't look any less frazzled about it. "Do I want to know what the 'pass' is?"

They sigh, flustered by the scramble of it all. "Situational. Conditional. I don't know, maybe. Sledgehammers and soft bits at a reasonable distance, thankyou, dear."

[croakercurator]

are you fascinated by the muppet joker but value your eyes too much to visit his blog yourself? do you want to read his absolute banger posts without stumbling across the most terribly written smut you’ve ever seen? do you want to watch the saga unfold without being jumpscared by photos of kermit in bondage?

then this blog is for you! i’m already deep in the trenches, witnessing horrors you couldn’t even imagine, all to curate the croaker’s top tier posts[*]

[*] disclaimer: i may occasionally reblog nsft posts if they meet my extremely subjective inclusion criteria, however they will be tagged with “cw: bad smut” and/or “cw: muppet hole mention”