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#jokelang
kaosuqi · 4 months
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To heggula with it! I'm just gonna post my conlang stuff here.
First order of business: create a rap battle language spoken by spacetime. Spacetime is a singular connected field, and since the speakers are specific regions of spacetime, all speakers know the same things and share the same experiences. Thus, the only logical reason to communicate is to have rap battles. Not only that, but the bars must be hard enough that the loser collapses into a black hole.
Now, where can I find information about gravitational wave dynamics?
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nonsense-gnome · 4 months
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payob anbatr dhogi mishr krontigir jamokina, mro slomiga vrash kiskis lopkij clanp? payob xemnco drife slomiga hamotga lshun slomiga rewoq zdera!
lopkij clanp gusmn sava zdera sicepa niner moshriri tark kosfa voretani
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conlangcrab · 11 months
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A jokelang made entirely of weird David Byrne sounds (e.g. the beginning of Born Under Punches, the ‘hi’s from Swamp, and practically the entire chorus of Psycho Killer)
#20
A jokelang made entirely of weird David Byrne sounds (e.g. the beginning of Born Under Punches, the "Hi"s from Swamp, and practically the entire chorus of Psycho Killer).
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yourshiningastr · 7 months
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CHAPTER 4
"Friends?" I looked at her hand and shifted my gaze at the three girls smiling at me. I smiled back at them and shook her hand.
"Friends." I beamed and chuckled with the thought that for the first time I will have a friend. That I don't have to be alone. Friends that I can laugh with. That I can be real with.
"Thank yo-" I didn't get to finish my sentence when the smiling faces of my friends were slowly fading.
"Why? What's wrong?" No one dared to speak. And as I focus my gaze on them, I shiver. It wasn't them anymore, They look like a different person now. Gone with the happy faces and replaced with demonic smiles.
I tried to take my hands away from her, but she didn't let me.
Fear is now eating me, as I saw how they transform into dark creatures I once was afraid of when I was a kid.
"AHHHHHH!! HELP!!" I yelled and cried for help in the midst of the crowd but no one tried to help me.
I was crying as I heard their loud roar as if they were laughing at my miseries.
This is not happening..
Where are my friends?
I tried to run but there's no use. They pushed me on the ground instead and slowly they walked close to me while demonically laughing at me. They showed me their sharp claws and acted like they were going to pierce me..
Closer and closer.
I shut my eyes and pray..
Please, Lord. Take me away.
"Die.."
Mabilis akong napabangon sa higaan habang habol ang hininga. Fucking nightmares.
I looked at my side table as my phone vibrated. With trembling hands, I took it.
17 messages from Neighbor.
1 message from Ate Alisson.
6 missed calls from Neighbor.
It's been already a day since I came here in Nueva Ecija and sa mga oras na yun ay hindi ko hinawakan ang cellphone ko. Ipinasok ko lang ito sa cabinet dahil wala naman importate akong tignan doon.
I opened Ate Alisson's message.
From: Ate Alisson.
Hi, bb. Ngayon ang uwi mo sa province niyo right? Ingat ka! We love you ^>^
I smiled and nagreply na lang ako ng Thank you sa kanya. Sunod ko naman binuksan ang message ni Benedict.
From: Neighbor
Good morning, Señorita! Sarap ng tulog ko kagabi, siguro dahil katabi kita ng unit?
Napairap naman ako dito.
From: Neighbor
Are you still sleeping? Sabagay baka nga naman napapaginipan mo ako kaya sige, tulog ka lang.
As if..
From: Neighbor
Luh? Di nagrereply? Snob yan? Or Tulog ka pa din?
From: Neighbor
HOY, SEÑORITA! TANGHALI NA ABA! Alas diyes na, wag mo sabihing tulo laway ka pa diyan? Masyado mo naman sinulit ang panaginip mo sakin. Ayaw mo ba ituloy nalang yan in person?
From: Neighbor
Hoy, nasan ka? Sabi ni Kuya Sekyo umalis ka daw? (Security Guard yan Señorita ah, pinaikli ko lang hehe)
From: Neighbor
Bakit mo ako iniwan nang walang pasabi? Ganon ba ako kawalang halaga sayo? Grabe ka, ang sakit mo
#BreakNaTayo
#WagKaNaBabalik
#JokeLang
From: Neighbor
Seriously, where are you?
Hindi ko na binasa ang iba dahil nakakahilo ito. Pati ba naman sa text ay madaldal siya?
1 new message from Neighbor
Napailing ako na hagang ngayon ba naman ay nagtetext pa din ito. I look at my wall clock and it's 11 PM already.
From: Neighbor
I'm getting worried. Please call me when you read my messages or just message me that you are fine.
Napahinga ako ng malalim.
To: Neighbor
I'm fine, I'm here in Nueva Ecija. Don't worry.
Wala pang sampong segundo ay nag ring na ang cellphone ko, at nakita kong tumatawag ito.
"Hello?" Napakunot ang noo ko ng hindi ito sumagot. Tahimik lang ang linya.
"Hey, are you there? Why did you call?" He still didn't answer. What the hell? Anong trip ng lalaking to?
"Benedict?" Nagulat naman ako nang makarinig ako ng singhap sa linya.
"You okay there.. Benedict?" Nag aalala kong tanong
"Shocks! I didn't know that my name would sound too beautiful. Isa pa nga, Señorita?" I rolled my eyes.
"Why did you call?"
"I'm worried, pakiramdam ko ay hindi ka okay." Mabagal at mahina nitong sabi na animoy naninimbang.
"Why did you think so?"
"Ewan, nung makita ko yung message mo na I'm fine, pakiramdam ko ay sinabi mo lang yun dahil yun ang nakasanayan mo. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ka okay talaga." He's right..
I'm not okay, but that was earlier nung hindi ko pa nababasa ang messages at naririnig ang boses niya ngayon. Pero dapat ko ba sabihin yun?
Hindi nalang ako sumagot. Narinig ko ang malalim niyang paghinga sa kabilang linya na tanda na tama ang iniisip nito .
"What's your favorite song?" He suddenly asked.
"I dont know." Wala naman talaga akong paboritong kanta dahil lahat sa akin ay pare parehas lang ang istorya ng bawat liriko. Pare parehong masakit.
Akala ko ay magtatanong ito kung bakit hindi ko alam, or magdadaldal ng kung ano ano dahil hinahanda ko na ang sarili kong patayin ang tawag, pero hindi ko nagawa nang marinig ko ang boses niya.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are."
That night was the most peaceful night I ever had. Pakiramdam ko ay for the first time umaayon sa akin ang mundo. Na sa unang pagkakataon, pinaparamdam na sakin ang mga bagay na hirap akong makuha at maramdaman noon.
I have never been a fan of nursery rhymes because I never heard anyone nor even my parents sing that to me. But for the first time, I think I'm starting to like them.
I think I now have my favorite song.
"I thought you'll never come back?" I stopped fixing my things as I look at Benedict na nakasandal sa hamba ng pintuan ko habang naka-cross ang mga braso nito sa dibdib niya at nakataas ang kilay sakin.
"And who told you to come here?" Hindi ako nito pinansin at tuloy tuloy na pumasok sa unit ko at naupo sa sofa. Tch, bakit ko ba kasi iniwan nakabukas ang pinto.
"San pasalubong ko, Señorita?" I raised my eyebrow at him at tumalikod.
"Oh." Initsa ko ang isang paper bag sa kanya, nasalo naman niya ito at dali daling binuksan.
"Wow! Orange! Thank you, Señorita. May pa vitamin C, naks! Crush mo na ako noh?" I shook my head in disbelief.
I thought hindi nito tatanggapin dahil orange fruits lang ang laman nun pero hindi na niya binalik sakin at binalatan na agad ang isa.
Hindi ko naman talaga pasalubong sa kanya yun, Pinadala yun ni Manang sakin dahil favorite ko ang orange.
"Say Ahhh" Napaatras ako ng maramdaman ang orange malapit sa bibig ko.
"Ano na namang trip mo?" I frowned.
"Dali na, isubo mo na. Or gusto mo gawa pa ako ng train sound, chug chug." I shook my head and tried to snatch the orange in his hands but to no avail, he didn't let me, instead, he insisted na isubo sakin yung orange na yun.
Napahinga nalang ako ng malalim tanda ng pagsuko at isinubo ko na ito habang masamang nakatingin sa kanya.
"Yum!" Malaki ang ngiting iginawad nito sakin na akala mo ay nanalo sa lotto. Tsk, crazy.
"So, how's your parents?" Panimula nito habang nakaupo na sa sofa at nilalantakan ang orange.
"Same old."
"You must have really missed them." Hindi nalang ako sumagot dahil hindi ko alam ang sasabihin.
In my three days of staying in our house ay naging tahimik naman. Hindi na uli na-bring up ang grades ko, siguro ay dahil na din wala na silang magagawa doon or baka dahil sobrang busy na nila sa work kasi halos hindi na sila umuwi ng bahay.
Last dinner namin ay pinaalalahanan nila ako na ayusin ko ang grades ko dahil Third year na ako next school year. Wala naman ako nagawa kung hindi ang pumayag nalang. They are now expecting me to get flat one grades next school year kaya mas doble ang pressure ngayon.
Hindi ko na din nagawang magpaalam para sa Volunteerism.
"So what's your agenda today? May gagawin ka ba, Señorita."
"Wala" I blandly said.
"Good, let's have a date then." Marahas akong napalingon dito sa gulat.
"What? Come again? A Date?"
"Date.. Uh...Friendly Date! Friendly date kasi yun, Señorita. Friendly date." He murmurs something pero hindi ko na yun inalintana pa.
"No, I still have a lot of things to do." Naglakad ako dito palayo at pumunta sa kitchen para kumuha ng tubig, sumunod naman ito sakin at nangulit.
"Sige na, Señorita. Doon lang tayo sa Greenfield District. Balita ko maganda daw doon." Greenfield? Walking distance lang yun dito.
"At ano naman gagawin natin sa Greenfield?"
"Date." Tinaasan ko ito ng kilay
"I mean friedly date. Sige na kasi, hindi pa ako nakakapunta doon. Nasearch ko na marami daw pagkain, at mukhang peaceful ang lugar. Ang ganda lalo na pag gabi, nadaanan ko kagabi. " Well, he is right.
Makailang beses na din ako nagpunta doon dahil madalas ay doon ang venue for group project. Pero hindi pa ako nakakapunta ng gabi.
"Alright, I'll just fix my things. I'll just message you later. Now, chupi." Tinutulak tulak ko na ito palabas ng unit ko.
"Lumelevel up tayo, Señorita ah. Ikaw na mag me-message ngayon?" Ngisi ngisi itong nakaharap sakin habang tinutulak ko ang braso nito.
"What? Ayaw mo? Edi sige, wag na tayo tumuloy. "
"NO! Ito naman, high blood agad. Bet na bet, Señorita. Kahit segu segundo mo pa ako imessage hindi ako magrereklamo, promise." Itinaas pa nito ang kaliwang kamay niya na para talagang nangangako.
"Kanang kamay ang itinataas kapag nangangako, dumbass!" Tatawa tawa naman nitong pinalitan ang kamay na nakataas.
Bago pa ito tuluyan umalis ng unit ko ay humarap ito sakin at panandaliang huminto.
"Namiss kita, Señorita." He gently tucked my hair on my ear with a warm smile on his face. Ramdam ko na naman ang malakas na tibok ng puso ko. Masama na ito.
"G-go na" I lightly pushed his chest so he can go now, pakiramdam ko ay namumula na ako at ayokong mahalata niya yun.
"Maghihintay ako sa message mo, Señorita."
A minute has passed when he already got outside my unit and yet I'm still here standing at my door, still processing what just happened.
I tapped my chest aggressively so it could stop its raging throbbing.
It's not like he said something romantic, it's not like he kissed me or something.. Wait what?
I shook my head and sigh. Pumasok na ako sa unit ko at mabilis na inayos ang mga dala dala ko galing province.
"Sabi ko sayo maganda dito, Señorita eh." Pinaikot ko naman ang paningin ko sa paligid habang tahimik lang akong nakaupo.
"Parang ikaw." Mahina lang niyang sinabi yun ngunit narinig ko ito.
Iniwas ko ang tingin ko dito dahil pakiramdam ko ay namumula na naman ang pisngi ko.
Nanumbalik na naman tuloy sa akin ang nangyari kanina. Instead na maglinis ng unit tulad ng plano ko ay nag halungkat ako ng damit na maisusuot para dito. I even tried all my new clothes na ipinadala ni Mommy from other luxury brands.
There's one skirt from Chanel, dresses from Saint Laurent and Armani. My mom always sends me clothes and dresses almost every week because she knows that I don't really mind wearing clothes from any store. But for her, brands and price are paramount in our image, particularly for me.
Good thing reality hit me na sa Greenfield lang naman kami pupunta kaya bakit kailangan ko pa magsuot or mag ayos? At isa pa, si Benedict lang naman ang kasama ko. I should dress up not too fancy at baka isipin nito na I'm dressing up for him. As if.
I only wore black trousers, and white knitted button-down short sleeves for the top and paired it with my white Balenciaga Rise leather platform slides. And just a black purse.
Kanina pa kaming 4 PM dito at walang ginawa si Benedict kundi ang tikman lahat ng pagkain sa paligid. Pinipilit pa ako nitong mag picture at hindi ako tinigilan hanggang sa pumayag nalang ako. Siguro ay naka anim na picture din kami.
Mas dumami ang tao ngayon kumpara kanina. At nagsisimula na din lumiwanag ang paligid dahil sa mga ilaw. He's right. Mas maganda nga dito kapag gabi.
"Tikman mo ito, dali." Inilapit naman niya sa bibig ko yung parang lumpiang shanghai, kukunin ko na sana ito para ako nalang magsusubo sa sarili ko ngunit pinigilan lang ako nito kaya naman walang nagawa kong kinagatan ito.
"What is this? This is not lumpiang shanghai." Kunot noo ko pang sabi at narinig ko naman ang tawa nito.
"Sino ba kasi nag sabing lumpiang shanghai to?"
"Eh ano yan?" Nakita ko naman ang pagkagat niya din sa parang lumpiang shanghai na kinagatan ko din kanina.
"This one is called Sisig sticks, Señorita." Nakangiti nitong sabi habang patuloy na nilalantakan yung sisig stick.
Oh, so that's why iba ang lasa. Though it's good, medyo maanghang nga lang. But tolerable.
"Drinks, Señorita?" Tumayo ito at mukhang bibili ng maiinom.
"Water will do, and can you stop calling me Señorita? I have a name you know."
"I know, but I like Señorita better. Sounds like a call sign." Kumunot ang noo ko dito at magtatanong pa sana kung anong ibig sabihin nito ngunit nawala na ito sa paningin ko.
Binuksan ko nalang ang cellphone ko at chineck ang social media accounts. Wala naman ako gaanong post sa IG. At ngayon ko lang din ito nabuksan simula pa nung natapos ang school year.
I don't know, I'm not into social media. I just think it's all facades and full of exteriors. I'm already done with my own mask, kaya naman wala na akong oras para maentertain pa sa maskara ng iba.
"Rae?" I tilt my head to my side when someone calls my name.
"Lucas? What are you doing here?" I stood up and greeted him. Puro Vasco ang nakikita ko ah.
"Oh, may sinusundo lang ako. Ikaw?"
"Just.. hanging out." I bit my lip
"By yourself? Do you want me to stay here para masamahan kita? Or we can call Jacksion, though. Have you seen him already?" I shook my head.
"Nah, it's fine. And I - uhm.. I'm not alone, I'm actually with someone." Nilinga ko ang paligid para mahanap kung nasan si Benedict ngunit hindi ko ito nakita.
"Oh, I see, uhm.. I guess I'll see you around then. Long time no see, Rae." I smiled at him.
Sinundan ko pa ito ng tingin nang makalayo ito sakin.
Nakita ko na may lumapit na babae sakanya. Looks like a High school student based on her appearance. Kitang kita sa lahat ng damit nito ang logo ng Chanel, she looks like a walking Chanel girl.. May ribbon pa ito sa buhok niya at nakasimangot na nakatingin kay Lucas.
Nakita ko naman na may sinabi si Lucas at napangiti ang babae saka maarteng umirap. Napataas ang kilay ko doon.
A girl with our Saint Lucas? What is happening? What happened to his notion that he will never have a girlfriend and that he will be a priest?
Pero baka naman kaibigan or kapatid ng kaibigan niya. Masyadong bata, I'm sure hindi yan papatol sa ganun.
"Tulala ka diyan?" Nagulat naman ako nang magsalita si Benedict sa tabi ko, nakabalik na pala ito. Binuksan nito ang tubig at binigay sakin.
"Nothing. I just met someone I knew." I heard him scoff.
"Kita ko nga." Nakanguso nitong sabi.
"Really? Bakit hindi ka lumapit, pinakilala sana kita." I sip my water.
"I don't want to disturb you, it looks like you two are so happy earlier. " Parang bata nitong sabi.
"What?" Ano na namang problema nito?
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"What no!" Anong trip niya? Kung may boyfriend ako edi sana hindi siya ang kasama ko ngayon.
"Buti naman, hindi kasi kayo bagay."
"And why do you think so?"
"I just know, AH BASTA!" Nakakunot na ang noo nito na parang galit.
"Why are you mad?"
"I'm not mad."
"Well you look mad, see. Nakakunot ang noo mo at you are raising your voice to me." Mukha naman narealize nito base sa pagbago nito ng reaksyon.
"Sorry." He pouted at hindi makatingin sakin. I chuckled.
"You look like a jealous boyfriend." Nanlalaki naman ang mata niya nang iniangat nito ang tingin sakin.
Tinaasan ko ito ng kilay at mabilis naman niya iniwas ang tingin niya sakin.
"Tsk. jealous lang, hindi pa boyfriend." Tila napipi naman ako sa sinabi nito.
"Come on, gabi na. Let's go home." Tumayo na ito at naunang maglakad sakin.
Akala ko ay galit pa din ito kaya naman binilisan ko ang lakad so I could catch his pace, masyadong mahaba ang biyas nito kumpara sakin kaya naman kahit gaano ko bilisan ay hindi ko pa din ito mahabol.
"Hey, wait up." Kita ko naman ang paghinto nito pero hindi pa din lumilingon akin.
"Why are you walking so fast? And why aren't you looking at me? Are you really mad? That guy is just someone I know, He's not my boyfriend."
Nang mapansin na hindi pa din ito natitinag sa puwesto niya ay lumapit na ako at marahang hinawakan ang braso niya.
He flinched and looked at me with wide eyes, pero parang ako pa ang nasopresa nang makita ko kung gaano kamula ito partikular ang kanyang tenga. Tinakpan nito ang bibig at iniwas uli ang tingin sakin.
"Stop, kinikilig na ako."
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rphaelll · 1 year
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Long Hair Supremacy 15 years old
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First time ko po dito magpahaba ng buhok .Yung naka black po ako sa picture , doon po ako nagstart magpahaba ng buhok. Pandemic nun kaya diako lumalabas ng bahay , ayoko din magpagupit kasi kakatamad kaya naisipan konalang magpahaba ng buhok . Halos 1 year na hindi pagpagupit bago ko po naachieve yung long hair po nayan. Nung long hair po ako ay hindi po minsan ako makilala nung iba Kong kakilala dahil sa nasanay sila na laging maigsi lagi haircut ko.
Kamiss din maging long hair , kamiss sabunutan sarili mong buhok HAHAHAHAHA de jokelang po. Kakamiss talian at tsaka i-brush up buhok ko noon. Ang ayaw kolang nung long hair po ako ay makati pag minsan lalo na kapag mabanas. Nagkakatigyawat din . Hirap shampoohan niyan HAHAHA bagya pa bumula minsan dahil sa sobrang lago. Natigil po yang long hair ko nung nalaman kong magkakaroon kami ng pictorial para sa graduation tsaka proper haircut inspect -(para sa mapeh na subject nung grade10). Pinakalbo ko po yan HAHAHAHAHAHA.
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agmaschwa · 3 years
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Here it is: GUMSMAQ, quite possibly the worst thing ever made. Get on YouTube now to check out the premiere! https://youtu.be/WG7D1zMeN8E #conlang #constructedlanguage #conlanging #language #chowder #emoji #meme #jokelang https://www.instagram.com/p/CUQVtzmvbBy/?utm_medium=tumblr
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blbs-srdo · 5 years
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Sa mga nakatanggap ng bulaklak dyan, sign yan na malapit na kayo mamatay.
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Turukan ang mga ayaw magpabakuna kontra #COVID 19 habang sila ay tulog.😁😉🙃 #eng-eng #jokelang #jojelangpoiyon https://www.instagram.com/p/CVAYYWdBy4thTR0GdaDApqWu9ivT8sFyupLIiQ0/?utm_medium=tumblr
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harveycast · 3 years
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It’s a 🇵🇭 thing. #Repost @kampeonco with @make_repost ・・・ You’re welcome. Photo by @totesmanila #JokeJoke #JokeLang #KnowHistory #KampeonCo (at Las Vegas, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQTStBXJ073/?utm_medium=tumblr
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toeleafsilas · 4 years
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nilagyan ko ulit ng halaman, at kumuha ng picture, bago masira, haha, #pagmaytinanim #maytapunanangkapitbahay #haha #hahaha #jokelang pero pero malinis ito.... (at Seiki Ni Tori) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCz1pkTpdl-/?igshid=9o0kcmhwcw4o
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Talamak na talaga mga magnanakaw ngayon :(( tinirahan pa ako ah.
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stillcaffeinated · 7 years
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I need you more today.
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ettedo · 4 years
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gusto ko nang ikasal at magkapamilya. pero #oplanpayaman muna. 
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silentsanctummanga · 5 years
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Talk about false advertisement, this road doesn't even play a single Korn nor Lauryn Hill song. I demand a full refund! #JokeLang But seriously, I like it when they spell anything with a "K". Kinda like the K in Mortal Kombat and the K in Komiks. #Kiki #Keke #KornhillRoad #Korn #Cornholio #INeedTPForMyBunghole #JonathanDavis #LaurynHill #ChrisCornell #DooWoop #FreakOnALeash #SomethingTakesAPartOfMe https://www.instagram.com/p/B3MbXlGBDsN/?igshid=1q06842cm3b03
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rphaelll · 1 year
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Kinder Moments
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Eto naman po ay nung kinder ako which is 5 years old na po ako dito. Eto po yung graduation pic ko nung kinder .Dami ko ding memories nung kinder po ako. Color color lang ng mga shapes , drawings, coloring books tas naiyak pa pag minsan HAHAHAHAHA. Tas pag na vevery good ako ng teacher, tatatakan yung kamay ko ng puro stars na may nakasulat pa minsang "Very good!", "Very very good!". Padamihan pa kami ng mga kaklase ko noon HAHAHA. Tanda ko din yung katabi ko noon , sinabi kolang na iba yung ginawa niya sa activity ay bigla nalang siyang umiyak ng malakas HAHAHAHA.Sorry my false HAHAHHAHA. De jokelang po , nag sorry po talaga ako. Nung nasa kinder din po ako na grade level ay hindi pa po ako nahihilig sa pag dodrawing. Paglalaro lang ng mga laruan hilig ko noon at pakikipaglaro sa mga kapatid ko't pinsan. Mahilig din po ako medyo magbasa ng mga stories noon .At dito nadin po nagsimula ang pagbungi ng aking mga ngipin HAHAHAHA.
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petadeo · 5 years
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Ferrari key rings at P57.00 lang! What a bargain! #JokeLang #NovaStar #OOOO #HuaweiNova3i #HuaweiMobilePH #TrickShot #PETadeo (at The Wellington Centre at 32nd & 4th) https://www.instagram.com/p/B23wjaEHaFQ/?igshid=w4cv3ayi7ng5
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